#i hope this is okay my brain hurts

[typing-catastrophe]

https://www.tumblr.com/typing-catastrophe/761175471448883200/ford-falling-for-youngerreader-and-writing-page

GRRRR I am frothing at the MOUTH I need that paranoid old man!!!!!

I think I specifically would make him a little crazy. Like.. Yeah, someone who also has PTSD and weird hands they might or might not be a little insecure about (I have a joint hypermobility disorder) just HAPPENS to show up, acts really nice to him, listens when he talks, takes interest in DD&MD with him, and thinks his sciencey shit is cool, and this has nothing to do with Bill, mind control, or succubi. SURE. Oh, AND their eyes are a little fucked up looking (disorder again)! He would not trust my ass

Anyway! I love your writing I want to gnaw on it like a dog with a bone

(anon talks about this post) aaahhhh thank you so much! i'm happy to hear u enjoy it ^^

ohh most definitely, what do you mean you like to listen to him ramble on and on about his interests without interrupting not even half way through, wanting to do something else? actually asking questions and wanting to hear more about his passions?? not thinking he's boring, or weird for taking in a liking in those things? the moment you ask if you can join him playing dd&md? he thinks he might actually have a stroke all that he could eventually get over, he thinks, but the fact that even physically you are suspiciously similar to him? get out. that paranoid old man might actually go insane if he thinks about you for too long

his trust issues would act up reeeal bad, but if you stick around for long enough he might calm down and open up. just have a little patience, he comes around eventually

he might fight his feelings for a while, at least until he is absolutely sure you won't just use him for your cause or turn on him and his family but once he accepts the fact that there really is someone as wonderful as you and that you like him (??? how?? he still isn't sure), he makes sure to show you just as much love as you show him. it takes a bit until he is fully comfortable and used to physical touch again, but he will take your hands in his, kiss them and makes sure you know that there is nothing to be insecure about. that you are wonderful and amazing and stunning just the way you are and deserve to not feel bad about yourself

once he accepts that he is in fact, head over heels for you, the tone of his notes in the journal shifts to a much softer one and he asks himself how he could've ever thought about you the way he once did (trauma. the answer is trauma. bill fucked him up bad)

[acourtofquestions]

Chapter 89

I just finished Chapter 89

[josecariohca]

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[lyss-butterscotch]

Okay to everyone in the rw sunstone tag making 'bug' being a petname from suns to pebbles i hope you know youre facking killing me.

Do you have any idea the implications of that is if you kept the facking bug maze convo??? Imagine being pebbles and having this special someone you care so much about give you this lil affectionate petname thats only for YOU! Probably like one of the few happy things in your life as an undying suffering god.

Only for that special name to be used as a throwaway line. You are burnt out you are tired you are in pain and you seek help from the person you care about right? And suns being the dense dumbass they are just went 'oh yeah burn out, stress, existential dread its all stupid and pointless, but eh nothing you can do about it' like NO THAT DOES NOT HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE

And yeah im aware of how suns sounds like theyre downplaying pebbles stress hard. Theyre like 'yeah this is something all of us went through, dont be so hung up about it, thats stupid'. That would hurt!! You wouldn't expect that from someone you care about and youre just... nodding along because THEY said it, so it must be right in a sense right? Their opinion weigh something to you right so you DO consider it.

Then the facker had to slap in the bug maze thing. Thats like insult to injury. Why are you tying the lil happy special meaning of a name to something so facking dreadful. If suns calls pebbles 'bug' again now all he can think about is HIM. BEING THE BUG ON THE MAZE. THE STUPID BUG ON THE MAZE. And idk man that'll fack me up a lil bit.

[scionshtola]

from the touch prompts: 12. on a scar; or 18. because you are dying :>

ty azia!! this one really sent me on a spiral this week adkfd

the pain of perception

pairing: Corisande Ymir/Y'shtola Rhul word count: 1292 | read on ao3 notes: i went with 18. because you are dying. 5.0 spoilers!

Y’shtola has always found Corisande difficult to look away from, some inexorable pull between them perpetually drawing her gaze. She turned toward them as a blossom sought the sun, unfurling in their light and basking in the warmth of it. Even when Y’shtola lost her sight and the world lost its color, Corisande’s familiar aether was more than enough to draw her in, their countenance so dear to her that it hardly took any effort at all to pick out their features.

In the grand entrance hall of Emet-Selch’s recreated Capitol building, the light Corisande emanates is not the kind Y’shtola wants to bask in. They are a beacon of aether, so bright they blur the forms of the other Scions gathered around them. So bright the light lingers even when she closes her eyes, a ghostly blur haunting the back of her eyelids.

She watches them as they take their leave of the others and turn toward her, seeking her out as surely as she sought them. They cross the hall, the soft click of their boots growing louder as they approach. 

“The others are nearly ready. Ryne only wants to charge a few more cartridges for Thancred before we start on our way,” Corisande says, gesturing at the others over her shoulder, gathered by the door that leads deeper into the building. She lifts her hand, starting to reach for Y’shtola, but stops herself halfway, arm falling stiffly to her side. ‘Tis difficult to make out, but Y’shtola thinks she might be clenching her fist. “I came to see how you fared.” 

Y’shtola holds back a sigh, her jaw clenched against the sharp pain in her chest at the aborted gesture. In the three years she’d spent without them on the First, she had so missed the easy physical affection between them. A reassuring squeeze of her wrist, a gentle hand on the small of her back, a soft brush of their thumb across her cheek. Touches she had at times wished Corisande would not make, if only to spare Y’shtola the misery of her endlessly growing feelings. 

But she’d been wrong to think it would spare her any pain. Since their reunion—that near disastrous moment when Y’shtola had mistaken them for a sin eater—Corisande has, for the most part, kept a careful physical distance between them. Every deliberate step back, every halted reach for her hand, left her far more hurt and confused than any touch that had ever led her to hope for more. 

That they keep their distance even now, when losing themself to the light is becoming less a potential threat and more a rapidly approaching reality with every passing moment, is more than she can bear. She reaches for their hand in their stead, pressing their cool palm to hers. “l have no preparations to make. I will be ready when you are.”

Corisande tips their chin, head tilting down in the direction of their joined hands. Y’shtola holds fast, hope swooping through her stomach, her breath caught in her chest as she waits. But rather than pull away, they squeeze her hand, and the ache in Y’shtola’s chest is eased as she finally exhales. 

Corisande lifts her head in Y’shtola’s direction, her familiar features—the heart shape of her lips, the curve of her nose, her downturned eyes—just as obfuscated by the light as the rest of her body. There was a time that Y’shtola could have known what Corisande was thinking just by a simple shared glance. Now, though she could make her best guess, she could never be sure what was written in their expression. What Y’shtola might give to see the curve of Corisande’s gentle smile once more, before they venture toward a battle that could change her forever. 

Y’shtola glances down at their hands, still pressed palm to palm between them. Corisande had not shied from one touch—perhaps she would not shy from another. 

Do as your heart decrees, Y’shtola had told them, only moments ago. Without hesitation or regret. 

Y’shtola raises her free hand to Corisande’s cheek, heartbeat a loud, steady rhythm as she moves. They lean down ever so slightly to meet her, their hair falling over her arm, the ends of it brushing lightly against her sleeve. She stills when their fingers wrap gently around her wrist, thinking they mean to tug her hand away, but they simply hold on.

“Is it difficult? To look at me? To—” Corisande’s grip on her wrist tightens. Their voice is soft, almost fragile to Y’shtola’s ears. “I know the toll a surfeit of aether takes on you. It must be exhausting just to have me near.”

“‘Tis not easy,” Y’shtola admits, though it pains her to say it. Corisande knows the truth already—the abundance of their aether is difficult for Y’shtola to process with her aether-fueled sight—and Y’shtola would not lie to her besides. 

Worse than the harsh glare of their aether, though, is the damage the light has wrought on their soul, battered and bruised as it struggles to contain the light. For all the distance that Corisande has kept between them these past few weeks, they could not hide the depth of the wound from Y’shtola. While she knew Corisande would prefer it, Y’shtola saw no kindness in pretending otherwise—she would not turn from them when they were in pain, no matter how much it hurt to see. 

Y’shtola sweeps her thumb across the swell of Corisande’s cheek, and hopes she’s looking her in the eye when she speaks again. “But I would no sooner look away than I would leave you to face what lies ahead alone.”

Corisande’s smile blooms under Y’shtola’s palm—cheek curving upward, the quirk in the corner of their lips where they’ve turned into her touch, the crinkle of skin around their eyes—and she answers with a warm smile of her own. Corisande sweeps a finger across the inside of her wrist, and after weeks—years—of so little contact between them, the deliberate touch feels monumental, as much a relief to the longing inside her as it is a catalyst for a desperate desire for more. 

“Shtola,” they say, the newly restored warmth in their voice reigniting that flame of hope in her. The one that made her long for Corisande’s soft touches, that made her think Corisande has always felt about her the way she feels about them, the one that never quite went out. “I—”

They cut off with a soft whimper of pain, lurching forward with a grimace. Their grip clamps down sharply where they hold Y’shtola, fingers digging into her wrist and the back of her hand, and she feels the hold as if it were a vice around her heart, pressed under the weight of their pain. The light inside them surges, brightening and straining against their soul as Corisande struggles to stay on their feet, and then it fades.

“Are you all right?” Y’shtola asks, keeping her tone neutral though she feels anything but, unable to even blink away the image of the surging light. Corisande straightens, her expression smoothing beneath Y’shtola’s hand. 

“Well enough,” she answers between breaths, her voice thin. She squeezes Y’shtola’s wrist, then gently tugs her hand away from her face, though she does not completely release her. “Perhaps we had better be on our way.”

“Of course.” Y’shtola expects Corisande to drop her hands, but they hold on to one as they pivot, placing themself at her side. 

The door that will lead them to Emet-Selch looms before them, the others still gathered in front of it. Whatever they face beyond it, whatever Corisande’s heart decrees, Y’shtola would not turn her gaze. They would face it together—perhaps not hand in hand, but side by side.

[pink-lemonadefairy]

🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

[scootszilla]

⚠️ major major flashing warning ⚠️

animal simulator

this is also on yt sniles so so sweetly

[r0semultiverse]

I don’t know, me personally, I just think two adults playing pretend & pretending being gross together with full open communication & consent between them is harmless, but maybe that’s just me.

[newtness532]

so tired but i love crocheting so much 😌

[skitskatdacat63]

Fanart for @mwebber's NAYQ!Seb

The outfit descriptions have been stuck in my brain, so I drew them!

[moonchild-in-blue]

🍜☕️🫂 Hope you feel better soon -🌿

@whataboutyouisamascot 🥺 that's so sweet, thank you Z 💙 hope you're doing well bb 🥺🦎🫂

I'm doing better today, but will probably still be away for a little longer while I slowly come back to life 🥲

[puppyboyjay]

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[lightfulonion]

thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

[thetangibleghost]

i called out... like right before my shift too. i am truly a monster. like they're going to have to find someone to cover my trucks. i just can't. like yesterday wasn't even that bad and i've been having fun, i enjoy the job i enjoy working and i just.

[catt-crossing]

i hate how sensitive i am because changes in peoples tone of voice suddenly messes with me unless im 100%sure they are joking or it's not directed towards me. and i like the slightest thing where someone might point something out about me and unless it's super positive internally im like okay! i will go cry and explode myself :') and i feel worse because my brain just starts negative thoughts and guilt and guilt for feeling this way even though logically, there might not have been something wrong im just taking what they said and idk :/

[cherrysnax]

I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?

kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh