#i hope this is ok even with a limited set list i barely knew anyone
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on a scale of 1-10 which ccs in the dream smp do you think will survive an apocalypse? also pls give reasons as to why, im trying to make a statistics graph for school
OooO! sorry for not getting to this whenever you sent it, but hopefully you’re fine with having it now! ill be going from least to most likely to survive (also fair warning, i dont know alot of these people all too well so in doubt i will be reading their wiki page and im gonna cut out ppl i dont know at all ((also also im gonna be talking about them IRL, not their smp characters because that seems like what ur asking for but i can do another for that if thats what you meant)))
EDIT: I AM AN IDIOT AND DIDNT NOTICE “on a scale of 1-10″ IM SORRYRJSDHKJAESF IMMA ADD THAT
least likely
tommyinnit- okay listen, mans is a child, and from the few live-action vids that ive seen, doesnt seem to be very handy with tools. i couldnt even find that he has any hobbies outside minecraft, so unless he can MLG clutch irl, i dont think he has much going for him 1/10
purpled- basically the same as tommy, idk much about him and i couldnt see that he has any extra hobbies. the apocalypse will not be merciful to minecrafters 2/10
ranboo- see above, he’s higher because of that height and height alone 2/10
niki- i may get some shit for this one, but i think she wouldnt do well because shes too sympathetic, she might try to save those left behind or share, leaving her in more danger than before for the sake of kindness. she also is sensitive to light apparently so thats also a disadvantage 2/10
karl- idk alot about karl either, but im pretty sure he loses, like, every mr beast challenge i think thats like his thing, so even if idk wtf those challenges are, imma say that sets him up for failure in my eyes irl 3/10
quackity- the dude got tired from wii sports. i dont know if he has any irl abilities, so imma have to do him dirty with this one 3/10
fundy- hes a coder, a really good one at that, so while that may help him in the logistics and planning department, i cant say the same for physical ability 3/10
antfrost- idk what hes done irl while being a server admin for years, but hes read warriors, which although may mean he didnt get out much as a kid, it also kinda tells you about herbs and plants?? idk if its accurate but its something 3/10
tubbo- same logic, hes a kid, i think kids are automatically gonna function worse than adults, however, apparently he used to be a trampolinist??? that at least means that he has good stamina and at least a bit of strength, so i think if he didnt let his emotions cloud him he could kick at least a little bit of ass 4/10
eret- he seems to be willing to do almost anything to get things to turn out his way in the smp, but irl he seems very charitable, so idk how that would translate in an apocalypse scenario. hes gonna be about midrange because i cant say what theyd do 4/10
technoblade- im sorry techno but he only plays minecraft and reads literature, i think he might have enough disconnect in order to sacrifice other people’s needs for his own, and i wouldnt put it past him to take what he needs from others, but i cant give him much more than that 4/10
skeppy- you may think ive put him too far up, and yes, this dude somehow managed to run a 20-minute mile. yes, he only has 3 shirts but still has two cars, yes, i dont think hed be able to sacrifice someone else in a pinch. however what everyone is forgetting is that he has connections to the weirdest assortment of people i know, and could probably convince them to help him out. alone? f tier, dead in 3 days. with his car gassed up and knowing where his friends are at? he could last a while i think 4/10
sapnap- he apparently said his worst fear is being alone and losing his friends. which? i mean, i think both of those things would happen in this scenario. he does have jock energy though so hes lower-middle range 4/10
george- geroge is gonna be the complete center on which everyone else is judged. i dont know anything about this man irl. for all i know he could be a gold-medallist weight lifter. he seems to be fairly quick-thinking and independent, so i could see him doing fine maybe 5?/10
wilbur- a wildcard like george except what i do know about him seems way more powerful and also unhinged. everything i learn about him irl scares me i think he could live on being a sneaky little theif bastard 6/10
captain puffy- uhh idk its just her vibe. i think she could do well 6/10
punz- he looks like he could and would kick my ass 7/10
awesamdude- dudes really smart, and 6′7?? he has the reach to knock zombies or whatever TF out 6′7/10
schlatt- he lives in new york, owns at least one glock, and im sure is willing to betray anyone in order to get to the top, i think hed do pretty good 8/10
badboyhalo- okay listen this may be partially favoritism but this is by no means a professional list. he can shoot guns and throw knives and axes, knows how to cook and has beaten up someone at least once. im gonna say his only weaknesses are being a bit forgetful and overly sympathetic, but whatever i think he can get past that 9/10
dream- man, i really didnt wanna give mans the dub here, but i think i have to. 1. its known that all florida men are a different breed, and dream is Peak florida man. hes one of the only ones i could find that ever played an actual sport, and his quick-thinking skills displayed in manhunt is pretty much unmatched. he also shows a hint of cold logic in his actions, doing whatever it takes to gain popularity on youtube in the beginning, and i think that could translate to real life as well. overall, i cant say i was expecting this result, but i think its what i have to do 10/10
most likely
#bRUHH THIS TOOK LIKE AN HOUR ASKJDKASJDKAJSD#i hope this is ok even with a limited set list i barely knew anyone#thank you anon but jesus im in pain#also wtf kinda stats graph you making?? you need to show me when its done
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Hi! I saw your reblog of the sad prompts list and because I love your writing so much is it ok for me to request a sormik themed one? I don't really have a preference on the prompt, rather I'd like it to be a tainted AU? (repetitive plotline I know). Can be either meebo or sorey, just not the two of them unless they both get better, that's just too much malevolence :(. Sorry, if I did a bad job, I've never requested something before :O
Heyyy, first off aaaaaaa I'm so glad you like my writing enough to stop by in my inbox! Don't worry, your request is clear and understandable! Also! Never feel bad about requesting tainted AU's, they are great!
This turned out to be more introspection and less plot than I wanted it too but I hope you can enjoy it anyway!
When he came back after collecting herbs and berries Mikleo found Sorey still sitting in the same spot he did this morning, looking out to the horizon with his feet dangling over the cliff. He wondered if it was the light that shone through the trees or just his own imagination, refused it to be reality that made the aura of malevolence around Sorey seem that much stronger than before. With a sigh he set his basket aside.
When the malevolence first settled in Sorey he noticed something was off before anyone else did, though he couldn't quite name what it was. Once Mikleo understood what it was though, he forced Sorey to as many breaks as they could afford, to get his mind off the duty bestowed upon him, to try and get the shepherd to talk to him. Even now he still was...
"You know", Mikleo said as he sat down with his back pressed against Sorey's. "It was easier when you were lying to me and thought I didn't see right through it." He was almost glad when he heard Sorey grunt in acknowledgement of his words. It meant he was listening and that was more than what he usually got out of Sorey when he tried to talk to him. "At least I could try to understand what you were thinking or.. feeling when you were still talking to me. Like this.." He turned his head to the side, looking over to the ruin they stayed in. The sun was slowly setting, shining it's last rays through the tall trees. He used to think sunsets were romantic but now the orange-red colour of them had his stomach turning. It shouldn't have been like this. "I don't even know if you still want me by your side anymore. Or rather.." Mikleo tugged his legs to his chest, hugging his arms around them. "I know what you told me when I first came with you, but even though you told me to leave back then, I could tell you wanted me to stay. Right now, I can't tell what it is you want anymore."
But after Lailah broke their pacts, after Sorey had lost the ability to purify and everyone could tell malevolence had settled in the shepherd Sorey had told Mikleo to leave. And that was the last word he spoke to Mikleo in over a week now.
"We all pushed you too far", Mikleo continued after a short break. "We shouldn't have asked so much of you. You had a whole world to consider and still you kept smiling." Mikleo chuckled. "You had us fooled pretty good with that one. I always thought I knew you so well, but I really should have noticed what was going on sooner. I said I wasn't going to be a burden anymore and yet, how many times did I push you forward when I should have opted for a break?" With a sigh he let his head sink down onto his knees. "So, if you don't want me by your side anymore, I get it. If you're telling me to leave again and you really mean it, I'll go this time. I won't keep bothering you. Just know that.. I still want to support you in every way I can. You just..", Mikleo had to suppress a sob, his eyes burning with unshed tears all of a sudden. He longed to hear Sorey's voice again so badly. "You just have to talk to me."
But Sorey stayed silent and Mikleo waited. He waited until the sun had sunken below the hills and the cold blue hues of the night covered the almost cloudless sky. He waited until the first stars sprang to life. And he sighed. Not today either, then, he thought.
"Well, I should prepare dinner then", he said and pressed his hands to the ground to push himself up.
But he stopped when he felt a hand wrap around his wrist.
"Stay", Sorey whispered and it was so silent Mikleo almost missed it. But he heard it and despite his smile his tears finally fell. Sorey had asked him to stay and that might mean that he was finally ready to talk, that he had something more to say than this one word. But even if he didn't Mikleo was so, so happy for this single word didn't only mean for him to stay sitting like this. Somewhere behind this simple word he heard Sorey telling him to stay by his side, not only today but forever.
"I wouldn't dare go anywhere else", Mikleo whispered just as silent. He hoped it was reassuring enough, even if Sorey's hand didn't move away from his wrist. He didn't mind the contact at all.
And so Mikleo waited again. For Sorey, he would always wait.
A wind picked up as the night went on, not warm but not unpleasantly cold either. Mikleo allowed it to play with his hair, thinking back to Dezel. He knew Sorey must be doing the same.
The wind seemed to push the last clouds out of the sky as well and an almost full moon shone down bright on the two of them. It was so silent Mikleo almost jumped when Sorey spoke again.
"It wasn't your fault", he said and relief spread through Mikleo at the honesty in the other's voice. "Or anyone's, really. There's no one to blame but me and that's what makes it so hard. No matter how many times Lailah told me 'You don't become the strongest shepherd in a day' I kept pushing too far. And when I met my limit I hated myself for my weakness. I still do. I keep thinking back to the cardinal and to Dezel and my head keeps repeating the question of what else I could have done. It keeps haunting me even in my sleep - I'm sure you noticed, I remember waking up to your concerned glance more often than not."
Mikleo nodded, knowing Sorey would feel the motion. He knew Sorey kept having nightmares, knew he didn't even sleep some nights. But he never dared to ask what they were about.
"Wanting to change the past is selfish and no one should decide who lives and who dies", Sorey said. "Knowing that.. I feel the malevolence inside myself grow stronger every time I think about it."
Just as he said that Mikleo felt the pang in his chest grow stronger again, felt the malevolence around them grow and knew it came from Sorey. Then he heard Sorey take a shaking breath, then another and the waves coming from him dimmed down a little.
"I felt bad for rejecting you as my Sublord but I felt even worse for dragging you along with me, through all this danger."
Mikleo was sure Sorey said that and yet it sounded so far away. The whole Sublord drama - they never really addressed it again after Sorey fainted in the Galahad ruins that day. To hear him talk about it now..
"...the reason I rejected you in the first place", he remembered to focus back on Sorey's voice. "There were so many instances you could have died because of my inexperience! That time in Marlind, with my vision.. I tried to hide it so no one would worry and then it almost killed you because no one knew what was going on. Or on that battlefield, when I insisted on going against Heldalf and I lost my resonance. I could've lost y-"
"But you didn't", Mikleo interrupted him before his malevolence could act up again. It was still his job to reassure Sorey after all. "You can't get rid of me that easily." He took a deep breath before he continued. "And I came along because I wanted to. I may not have known what I was getting into fully but I was aware of the dangers the path of the shepherd would bare."
"It wasn't supposed to end like this though."
"Is it really over, Sorey?"
"I no longer have the power to purify Hellions. How can I defeat the Lord of Calamity if I don't even dare call myself the Shepherd?"
"Is that really what we set out to do?", Mikleo asked, urging Sorey to think back to that first time they left Elysia together. "We wanted to see the world, remember?"
He could hear Sorey take in a sharp breath, then felt the other's hand cup his own, squeezing tightly. "With all the things going on", Sorey breathed, "I almost forgot about our dream."
"Even if saving the world isn't within the range of our possibilities, the things we did manage sure didn't go unnoticed. And we can still follow our dream, even now. Let's focus on us for now, instead of the world, how does that sound? We can walk a new path, in our own pace for now. Small steps towards a bigger goal."
"Our own pace..", Sorey repeated with newfound wonder.
He let go of Mikleo's hands and Mikleo felt his heart sink to his stomach as Sorey stood up. Did he say something wrong?
But Sorey walked in front of him, smiling through the dried tears that shimmered in the moonlight and extended a hand towards Mikleo. "Just us, right?", he asked as Mikleo took his hand.
"Yes, just us."
"I think I like that."
#my writing#shadow writes#sormik#tales of zestiria#mikleo x sorey#sorey x mikleo#sorey#mikleo#soymilk#tainted!sorey#introspection#you wanted plot? sorry not with shadow#ask#request#sad prompts#prompt game#i also actually have something planned thats more than one chapter#and possibly a tainted AU#but shhhhh#shadow's writing muse is back#my inbox is always open if someone has an idea they'd like to see written#just know that i might not do it and im sure as hell taking my time#no rushing the writer xD
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Skin Deep ~ Part 4
Author’s Note: Hi everyone! As @that-one-person reminded me, we were overdue the next chapter of Skin Deep! I hope this has been worth the wait. As always, if you’d like to be added to my tag list, let me know! Also, requests are open and I love when you re-blog and like my work! Thanks for all your kindness!!
This is the 4th Part of our Story with links below to the previous chapters! ENJOY!
Skin Deep Part 1
Skin Deep Part 2 Skin Deep Part 3
Pairing; Loki x Reader, Steve x Reader, Bucky, Natasha, Nick Fury, Thor and Valkyrie round out of cast! Summary: Picking up where Part 3 ended: You’re on the run with Loki, who wants answers. Steve comes clean to an old friend, Natasha and Fury make a plan. Warnings: References to violence, smut, intergalactic travel, and some kissing!
From his vantage point at Steve’s grill Bucky noticed the almost frantic vibration coming off his oldest friend from all the way across the lawn. And Steve wasn't carrying any champagne. In fact, he was whispering furiously to Natasha, shaking his head.
Looking to the skies, Bucky smelled the electricity in the air. It made the hairs on his human arm rise, antenna to trouble, tuning into the wrecked wavelength his friend was putting out. It was about you, of that Bucky was certain, and with your own strange behavior tonight, he knew trouble was en route. He had let you sneak away, sensing your breaking point, knowing your need for a minute alone. It was the reason you were such great drinking buddies. You let Bucky be himself and he returned the favor. Besides, something in Steve was different these days, something Bucky didn't exactly like. His friend, Captain America, hero to the weak, was pushy. Aggressive. Angry.
And when Steve looked at you, there was a gleam, a spark of possessiveness that gave Bucky pause. Sure, you were amazing. Funny, smart, undeniably sexy in a way all your own. Bucky understood wanting you, he even got the need to have you, hold you, lock you down with a ring. If only Steve could see how unhappy you were. Each time Bucky saw you, the strain had pulled more of your joy away. Sure, you baked pies, smiling the whole way, chirping platitudes and teasing Steve. That happiness, though, it never reached your eyes. Telling Steve that an engagement ring was too much, too soon, Bucky had tried in his very stoic way to prove that you weren't ready. Never fully able to give his buddy his blessing, Bucky had opted instead to provide you a shoulder to lean on. And lean you did. Slugging back vodka shots at all these parties, in the quiet and seldom used spaces of kitchens and dining rooms, you had talked easily with Bucky. No topic was too wild or off limits, with the exception of Steve. Anytime the name of your new love came up, the subject would change. You'd deflect and Bucky let you. Maybe he should have pushed harder, he thought as Steve stomped his way. Maybe Bucky should have forced you to talk about whatever issues you and Steve faced, tried his hand at advice, or offered excuses for his best friend’s erratic behavior. If Bucky had done that, then perhaps the stifling stench of trouble wouldn't be pooling around the party, pulsing through all the high energy people gathered together. “Buck… come here, would ya?” Sure, Steve sounded like himself. Jovial, a little concerned in that serious way he had, but not mad. For some reason, it reminded Bucky of the way Steve’s father would talk, just before he’d beat the ever loving hell out of Sarah… or Steve. It soured the stomach of battle tested Sergeant Barnes. War was coming. “Sure thing, punk.” Cocking his head, Steve couldn’t quite look his friend in the face, opting instead to focus on the open back door of his farm house. Would you come strutting out of it, unaware and un-phased? Steve prayed for that, even if his gut told him otherwise, “Bucky, you said my girl was in the ladies’ room?” Tucking his hands in his pockets, nodding solemnly, “Yea, Stevie. Yea. She had to piss. It happens.” Waiting for the battle was exhausting and Bucky just didn’t have the patience to stew in the slow burn of Steve’s anger. Clapping a broad hand along the neck of the Winter Soldier, Steve pulled his friend close. To anyone looking, the embrace would seem brotherly, kind. What they couldn’t see was the tight grip used to keep Bucky contained, or hear Steve’s heated harsh whisper, “Where the fuck is she, Buck? I know you know. So tell me.” Reacting instinctively, pulling against the restraining hook of Steve’s palm, “I don’t know what you’re talking about… she went to the bathroom, I came out here.” “Well she’s gone now and so is Loki-” Stepping back out of Steve’s reach, “Wait. Loki was here? I thought you said he left. Opened the Bi-Frost or whatever. Disappeared.” Almost growling, Steve ran desperate hands through his blonde hair, ignoring Bucky and turning to Natasha, “We need to let Fury know. Set a perimeter. Loki won’t be able to get off the planet, not without help anyway.” “Fury’s involved? Steve, what is going on?” Jabbing a finger into the chest of his best friend, Steve spun, spitting, “You let Loki kidnap my fiance, that’s what’s going on! And now I have to find her and rescue her before that greasy alien asshole does something else to the woman I love!” Rearing back, Bucky inhaled, lifting his shoulders. If you have to fight a friend, fight fair, he thought. Already Bucky could read violence in Steve’s muscle movement. The graceful way Steve bounced on his toes to build momentum into his fierce throw was minute but effective. Dropping his right arm, just a touch before stepping into his swing, Steve's eyes screamed murder and they were locked onto James Buchanan Barnes. A swish of air brushed at Buck's dark hair as the blow missed. Bucky easily blocked the punch, grabbing his pal at the wrist and twisting until his chest was pressed into Steve’s back. It was as fluid as the ballet you had forced them to attend a few months back, quick and clean movements, executed flawlessly. Bucky felt Steve spin in his grasp, planting his feet, preparing to toss the Winter Soldier on his ass. His counter maneuver was a leg sweep, one Bucky was ready to use, when Steve went limp in his grip. Natasha had sucker punched her mission partner in order to get his attention, “Steve. You gotta relax. Bucky didn’t know and you’re drawing attention. Too many eyes around here, ya know?” Natasha waved to Tony, a gesture that said, no worries, everything is ok over here. It was enough to satisfy the playboy, who turned back to his cocktail and conversation with Rhodes. “I'm fine. It's fine. I’m just…” unable to find the right word, spiraling, Steve sagged towards the ground. Catching him at the waist Bucky steadied his woozy friend as Natasha brushed off help from the other guests. Returning to the pair of soldiers out of time, The Black Widow, barely containing her disgust, “Bucky, get him inside. Steve, I'm sending everyone home, then I’m going to make a call.” True to her word, Natasha whispered something to Tony and Pepper, Bucky clocking their reaction of concern for both you and Steve. It was very clear to the Sergeant that The Avengers were not in on this mission. None of them were permitted to hang around the farm house with Nat going so far as to walk out with Clint and Rhodes. Bustling Steve into the kitchen, Bucky kicked a chair free from the table, dropping his buddy on his ass. Still a little amped up from the almost altercation outside, Bucky decided to put a bit of distance between him and his childhood friend, resting his hip against the counter, "What the hell was that, Steve?" "Stay out of it, Bucky." "It's too late for that, punk. Either you start talking or we take this back outside." Side eyeing the super soldier with a metal arm, Steve tugged at the corner of a pretty place mat sullenly, "Fuck you." "Language!" "You think I give a shit about bad words? Now? No… things are too far gone." Waving his hand, begging for more, "Care to elaborate, Cap?" Steve had a second to consider his options. He could let Bucky in, tell him what was going on, hear his opinions on the situation at hand. Or… not. "You don't need to be involved. Once Nat gets back, it's best if you go." Thunking into the opposite seat, Bucky leveled his grey gaze on his pal, "And if I say no?" "Look, it's an off the record thing. Tony, the rest of them? They know nothing. I don’t need you sticking your nose in-" That was all it took for the dam of Bucky’s own outrage to burst. With a wood rattling slap to the custom built dining table, open palm connecting enough to make Steve jump, "Damn it, Rogers! My nose is in this already. Hell, you were ready to half kill me over this… over her, not fifteen minutes ago!" Sighing, hard and heavy, Captain America pressed back in the wooden chair. He saw the questions in Bucky's look, the need to unravel this mystery, the desire to find a way out for his friends. And Steve realized that to accept his buddy's help, Bucky would need the full story. The truth hurts and Buck's words stung Steve. Bucky was right and in the end, he reasoned, they might need him to help bring down Loki. After a second of consideration, a rough hand sliding through his blonde locks, "Fine. FUCK! Fine. What do you know?" Crossing his arms over his chest, stern voiced but curious, Bucky started, "Just you and Nat reporting to Fury? Small team." "Small mission. At least, at first." Trying not to give anything away, making Bucky work for it felt good, almost like a return to his life before Loki, before you. Tapping his metallic finger on the table, Bucky resumed his questions, "So, how does Loki figure into this?" Leaning forward, Steve lowered his voice, “Weapons tech. Power. More than when he attacked New York. He’s been off world gaining followers, an army, and a throne.” “So the plan was to keep Loki away, right?” Nodding, Steve’s inflection solemn, “By any means necessary.” Rocking his head back, as if slapped, Bucky’s eyes widened. Just the implication of those words, by any means necessary, used by Nick Fury meant that this mission was crossing a line from mundane into murderous. "And she was your way in." It started to take shape, the whole sorted plan, Natasha’s involvement and Steve’s role in it all. Bucky felt that prickly sensation again. Bowing his golden head, Steve shook it yes, "Only… I wasn't brought in… I… volunteered." "Ok, but why?" Inching closer to the truth, waiting out the Captain, Bucky nodded for him to continue. When Steve wasn't forthcoming, Bucky nudged his foot with a sharp kick, eager to accelerate the story. For a second that frantic, frenzied energy flashed through the room again, pulling on Bucky's sixth sense, "Because I wanted what Loki had… who Loki had. I wanted her, so bad Bucky. So bad." “Steve… come on, man. There are other girls out there-” Cutting his friend off with a shout, “Why should that asshole have her? He doesn’t deserve her. Before he left, she was always so sweet, so cute… then he… abandoned her! Left her! Man, that was… just so hard to see.” “Yea… I know. I mean, I remember when she and Loki were together. And I know his leaving was hard on her.” “Hard on her? She… she stopped eating, stopped sleeping. God, I could hear her crying all night. Know how hard it was to keep away? To know that Loki had forgotten her?” Steve kept talking, about you, about loving you, and the lengths he went to in an effort to court you. He followed up with all the ways you denied him, over and over, until Natasha intervened. That all of it played into Fury’s plan was a convenient cross-point, coincidence, until things had gone wrong this afternoon. Bucky let him tell his story, knowing full well it was merely a version, a fairy tale wrapped around the rotten apple of truth. In Steve’s world he was the hero, wronged by fate, Fury and Loki Odinson. His path had been paved with good intentions and pure hearted motives. It was everyone else who misunderstood, miscalculated and mistook his actions. Could Steve be blamed for that? Of course, this edition of Steve’s tale didn't include beating up a cuffed prisoner. It also omitted the fact that Steve had been pursuing you while actively lying about Loki's whereabouts. Glossing over the details allowed Steve to paint a picture highlighting the best of him, but Bucky had known the little punk a long time. During a long pause that found Steve with his head in his hands, Bucky took a deep breath and asked, “And how did you and Fury know what Loki was up to?” “He was sending mission reports weekly. Loki had been tasked with helping promote peace across the Nine Realms. That he gained so much was the tipping point. Fury felt like a return to Earth would be 2012 all over again, only this time… total annihilation.” Something was still nagging at Bucky, “Had Loki made any threats?” A guilty look passed over the face of Captain America and his normally solid voice wavered, “Not that I was told about.” “So, Fury...?” “Fury needed… no, that’s not right. He wanted to keep close tabs on Loki, monitor his return, his mood, his movements, if he ever came back.” “And since she was his lover, she was a potential point of contact… the entry point?” “A possible one.” “If you were dating her and Nat was posing as her friend, then you’d know if Loki reached out, spilling the details on his plans, and be able to head him off at the pass.” “Exactly!” Oddly proud, Steve was almost happy that he no longer carried the burden by himself. Sure, Natasha knew, had even engineered some of it, but having a friend on his side made Steve feel better. “But Loki didn’t do that? He surprised you today?” Blowing out a frustrated snort, “Natasha went to meet him at the base. Apparently, the high and mighty Prince expected to be greeted by Fury and his forgotten lover.” “That didn’t sit well with the God of Mischief?” “Nope. Somehow he froze Nat. Confined her, I don’t know… Anyway, he came here and…” Trailing off, Steve could still picture his lady’s body, your body bent under his own, your eyes pressed shut in ecstasy. How you ground against what looked like his own sculpted skin, moaning through an orgasm that appeared amazing, and left you with shaky legs. Going silent, Bucky didn’t push, not this time, but he did feel the moment Steve surrendered fully. His shoulders let go with a deep inhale, his voice sounding like that scrawny kid from Brooklyn after a bad scrape, "She loves him, man. And I fucked up. Loki’s got my girl and I don't have any way to find her or fight him." Tears? Sighs? This wasn't Steve. No, Captain America was an unstoppable, unflappable hero. Spinning out was Bucky's move, not Steve’s. Putting his fleshy hand on Steve’s shoulder, trying to console the broken man in front of him, "Come on, kid. There's always a way to win. It's what you and I have been doing for over a century." “Not this time, man.” "Why not? Did you come clean? That’s why she left, isn’t it? You told her what was going on and she went after Loki." Shame filled Steve’s heart, his cheeks burning, "I… I didn’t get the chance. She left here, but not alone." "She'll be back." Words, pathetic platitudes, were all Bucky could offer. He had seen you tonight, skittish and jumpy. He saw Steve’s reaction to your disappearance, angry and hurt. Bucky thought that a snowball in hell stood a better chance than you're returning. "Not happening. I lost it on her, Buck. Smashed up mom's dresser, yelled… It was like being outside myself, watching myself do and say these terrible things. And it wasn't her fault. Not really. I mean, yea, she fucked him but he was me, so-" "Whoa. Stop. Say that again?" Steeling himself to relieve this afternoon’s nightmare again, Steve swallowed hard, "Loki, you know how he can… shape shift? Well, he came here as me and I walked in on myself screwing my girl!" Bucky's eyebrows lifted, his full lips curling into a cockeyed grin, "Wait. You're telling me that you came home and saw yourself banging your future fiancé?" Pausing, catching Bucky barely holding back a smirk, "Yea… why?" And for some reason, after all the incredible things Steve had shared tonight, it was the idea of Steve catching himself balls deep in your naughty bits that made Bucky laugh. Once he started, Bucky couldn't control the mad giggles from overtaking him, much to Steve’s astonishment. But then Steve laughed, too, "I guess it is pretty funny, when you think about it." "I mean, your face must have been priceless!" Clutching his stomach as the laughter grew stronger, Bucky had tears running down his cheeks at the image Steve described. Sure, it was a horrible thing, but who could say that they watched themselves having sex like that without being in porno? It took them both a minute to calm down, with Steve settling enough to counter, "Shit, Buck! I was pissed! I probably looked crazy." "That I do believe. What did you say to her? Them?" Now his face flushed scarlet, burning with embarrassment. The lie was just easier to get out, "Um… I don't really remember. I know I surprised Loki and well, my girl fainted from being used by him. The shock of it not being me, ya know?" Bucky didn't buy it, but he let his friend sell the story anyway, "Must have been scary for her. And that's when you secured Loki in the locked shed? And set Nat as your watchdog?" "Yup." Unable to meet his friend’s stormy stare, knowing that it would undo him completely, Steve focused on the edge of the table, running his fingers back and forth along the rough wood. If this were an interrogation and Bucky were sitting across from a suspect and not his best friend, he’d have no problem beating the guilty man into submission. But Steve was his strongest connection to this world, this time, and it was hard to walk away from family, even if they didn’t deserve the benefit of your doubt. To that end, one thing still bothered Bucky, "Why not cancel the party, man?" "Because I still want to marry her." Pulling the small black box from his front pocket, Steve toyed with the thing, his vision of a future with you still so close to realized. Whistling at the size of the sparkly rock enshrined in white gold, "Fancy. What do you think your chances are? Think she'll say yes?" "My chances went down to zero the second Loki dropped down to Earth. As for her answer… Dunno. I… I hope so, but now…", Steve faded off, knowing there was little hope for your romantic reunion if he didn’t have a clear idea of where you were at the moment. "Now Loki’s back." "Right." “And they’re gone, together.” “Right.” “And Fury’s on his way.” Striding in on impossibly high heels, Natasha folded her arms over her chest, eyeing the two gossiping men in front of her. It was going to be a long night. --- Somehow you had made it to the treeline undetected, using the orchard as a shield, ducking behind trunks as you and Loki scrambled toward the edge of the property. You couldn't help looking over your shoulder, checking for pursuit, worrying that Steve or Natasha were going to find the pair of you. There was no possible way they would let you get away, not after today, not with Loki. It was a bit treacherous, though. There was only natural light to guide you through twisted branches and raised roots, so your progress was slower than you wanted, but Loki was with you. Even beaten and bruised, he radiated calm, a soothing balm for your frayed nerves. Something about that made this whole situation seem better, manageable. You were no longer alone, Loki was here, holding your hand, not directing you but consulting. "Pet… the roadway is up ahead. Stay here, tucked out of sight." Pulling your long lost lover close, a small kiss passed between you, a passionate promise to sit still. Stepping tentatively out onto the gravel filled shoulder, Loki surveyed the highway quickly. When he was satisfied that the coast was clear, Loki waved at you, motioning you forward. Striding confidently at your side, Loki stopped in the dead center of the yellow lines, his grounding arm around your waist. A car, low, black, expensive, came racing round the bend, barreling towards you. Tucking your chin to Loki's chest, you gripped him tight, readying for the car's impact. A roar of wind swirled around you, grabbing at your skirt, whipping around your legs. For a second you thought you'd been struck. Breathless, your lungs emptied. There was nothing solid under you, just the feeling of Loki and a current of warm air. Next, you felt the impact of hard earth under your feet, vibrating through your shins, then Loki's grip loosening a touch, "Ok, darling?" Peeking from under his arm you saw lights everywhere. A bar was to your left, filled with noisy drinkers, barely discernible from the traffic around you. Honking horns made you jump, "Where the hell are we?" "Cleveland. I can't yet take us off world. I'm still a bit weak, I'm afraid… but at least we have a bit of a head start on Rogers and Fury." People pushed past you on their way to dinner, chirping happily, not seeing you in their tunnel vision. Being anonymous was a nice change, welcome even, as your personal life had been lost to Steve's intergalactic presence. On the busy streets of Ohio no one took notice of the two well dressed people standing on the damp sidewalk. "Um, you changed?", no longer sporting his battle gear, Loki was dapper in a black suit with an ebony tie. Leaning closer you straightened it, not because it was crooked, but because you needed to feel it… him. The whole look was just shy of too much, but that was the space Loki filled best and honestly, looking at him made your heart swell. Loki was back, and yours. After more than two years, having him close again felt natural, easy. In so many ways, the opposite of your life with Steve. As if somehow sensing your tug into nostalgia, Loki knuckled your chin up, "Just keeping up with you, love." His nose brushed against your own, so weirdly intimate and innocent for a man who had slapped your ass red only hours ago. Resting his forehead to yours, you inhaled that magical combination of burning sparklers, broken in leather with just a hint of honeyed citrus, "God, I forgot how great you smell." "Hmm… dove, there is nothing on Asgard that smells or tastes as wonderful as you. Believe me. I looked." "Careful Loki… people will say we're in love." At your cheekiness, Loki claimed your lips, his hands sliding over the soft fabric of your dress. Clinging to him, unwilling to let go now that he had returned, you puffed out a pouty sigh as Loki withdrew. “Norns. You know how badly I want you again? I can barely think straight for wanting you.” Oblivious to everything around you, lost in the sweeping pools of Loki’s desire filled expression, you toyed with his collar, “We have a lot of catching up to do, for sure.” “I’d love to get reacquainted-” here he paused to lick over his full lower lip, hunger for you dripping from every word, “-but we are on the run from the Earth’s mightiest heroes.” Snickering, you rolled your eyes at the thought of the Avengers, hours away eating charcuterie in Steve’s backyard. Stepping back, you sighed, “You’re right. So, have you got a plan?” Hanging in the air, your sentence had just left your mouth, your tongue still savoring the syllables when a sizzling crack snapped next to your ear. Swinging you away, forcing you to the sidewalk, Loki spun in a blaze of green. Crouched over you, snarling, “Fury! Always a pleasure to see you.” Stepping from the blazing golden circle supplied by Dr. Strange, Fury crossed onto the Cleveland sidewalk from your now empty garden party, weapon trained on Loki’s broad chest. “Wish I could say the same, Loki. You know it’s time to end this. Let’s take our… deliberations back to the office. Talk about this man to man.” A barking laugh left your lover, “Man to man? I am a GOD! And you… you are pathetic. Your attempts to keep me off Earth, imprisoned, away from my woman have all failed.” “Where are you going to go? You can’t get off the planet without help. My help. And it’s yours, Loki, if-” “If I come quietly? Tail between my legs, submissive and compliant?” As the words left his mouth, you watched, focused on the way Loki was shifting closer to you. The long fingers of his right hand were visible, reaching back for you, a silent signal of his escape plan. Fed up and furious, Nick Fury’s voice was flat with frustration, “Loki. Enough. Let’s do this somewhere people aren’t.” “Oh, I don’t know, this seems as good a place as any!” Circling Loki, edging nearer, Fury tried reasoning, “Endangering civilians isn’t going to make things easier. You know that.” “You know, I’d love to talk about how you betrayed me. How you stonewalled my lady… how you put Captain America in my place, as if he could ever be worthy of her. But, I’m a little busy at the moment.” Snapping his fingers, you jumped to your feet, grabbing for Loki’s outstretched hand. The second your palm connected that feeling of floating overcame you once more. This time you were ready for the roar of traveling through space by Loki’s magic, the push of meeting the ground, the curl of Loki’s body against yours. Blinking, you opened your eyes on new scenery, the chill of a beautiful sea soaked morning breaking around you. Straightening the coat of his pristine suit, Loki smiled at you as his fingers wove between your own, “New Asgard. My brother’s realm, now ruled by Valkyrie, by his abdication. We need to find him. He has a lot to answer for.” --- "Just what in the hell happened? I thought I was very clear about avoiding this exact problem." Pacing, hands firmly on his leather belted waist, Nick Fury growled at the bent head of Steve Rogers. "Now Loki’s on the run, dragging your… Well, what is she exactly Captain? Girlfriend? Fiancé? Mark? along for the ride." At those harsh words, Steve started, ready to focus his own anguish somewhere, anywhere. Fury was as good a target as any, as far as Steve was concerned. Pushing off the paving stones, he was stalled from rising by Natasha's firm hand and quiet words, "We have an idea-" "I don't want ideas. Not from you two. What I want are answers, Romanoff, and I want them now." Sitting on the emptied bench of the picnic table, still covered with your pretty tablecloth and jars of peonies, Natasha sighed, "I didn't have time to alert Steve. Loki made it here first and… reconnected-" "Is that what we're calling it?" Snapping, Nick glared from his good eye, his last name never more appropriate. Exhaling deeply, Natasha Romanoff squared her shoulders, "Sir, Loki… manipulated the circumstances." "Just what in the hell does that mean?" All three available eyes locked onto Steve, “What it means, Fury-” lifting his golden head with a jaw clenched tight, “- what it means, is that the son of a bitch showed up here and had his way with my woman. “After Loki… took advantage of her, I had him. He was contained, here, in my shed. It was modified with the restraints Tony provided with Thor’s direction.” “And still, he got away?” Disbelief clouded every syllable from Fury. That his two top agents had failed and so badly, had the normally stoic director steaming. Standing now, Steve was almost chest to chest with the man who’d been pulling the strings of this entire operation. Natasha, watching closely, knowing that she would only be able to subdue one of them if it came to it, gently palmed the dagger concealed in her waist band. Steve thrust forward, brushing past Fury before facing him once more, “Yea, Nick. He did. He got away.” “Do you know how?” Fury’s fingers were curled around his pocket taser, just in case Captain America needed a jolt, reminding him of who was calling the shots here. It wouldn’t do much except give Nick a head start, but with the Captain looking so rough and so raw, the SHIELD director would take any advantage available. “We believe that… he was set free.” Natasha didn’t want to say the words. You had let Loki go, that much she knew to be true, and she supposed that it made some sort of sense. Steve had been right all along. You and Loki did have some cosmic connection that even time and distance couldn’t eliminate. Intervening for the sake of Fury’s mission and Steve’s pining heart, Natasha had no qualms about why she’d guided you into a relationship, in fact, she still believed that he was a better man for you than Loki. But no. No matter what Rogers did, you had never let go with him like you had with the younger son of Odin. Not that you complained. You had taken all of Natasha’s words of praise, her seemingly well intentioned advice, her flat out advocating for Steve in stride. Sure, your friendship suffered for it. Natasha, never having been one for close ties to anyone, had enjoyed the talking and gossiping. It was nice to have a girl around the tower. One who understood period cramps and cravings. A person who would put on high heels and makeup for a night of dancing then suggest hoodies and shorts for watching Pride and Prejudice. That was over now. When she had been, well, frankly, overpowered by Loki and his new paralyzing weaponry, Natasha knew the plan for a peaceful capture of the prince was over. Having seen the aftermath of your reunion with the space god, having seen Steve’s seething anger, the Black Widow felt her own ire spike. Didn’t you know how hard she had worked? How tireless her efforts had been to keep you and Loki apart? Just how invested she was in joining you and Steve together? It was like you wanted to throw all of that away, squandering those bonding moments where you had become something more than a mission, those times when you were Natasha’s only real friend. Couldn’t you just go along with the plan, unknowing, quietly? She knew you couldn’t, wouldn’t. It wasn’t in your nature. So, channeling that frustration into the cold facade that so many had seen just before they met their end, Natasha had to compartmentalize the “you” she cared about away from the “you” she was responsible for trailing. Both had pissed her off. Now, hearing the gruff grumble of Director Fury bearing down on her, Natasha could only accept the berating tone of his hard words. He wasn’t wrong. She and Steve had fucked up royally, the whole mission was blown, and while Bucky had certainly aided in your escape, he was blameless collateral damage. The consequences fell to you and the Captain. Killing you was going to be hard for them both, but if it had to be done, so be it. Shrugging, Natasha started again, “Nick, we have a tracker on her. We know that she and Loki made it to Cleveland, but he can’t get away from Earth without some aid.” “Well, that’s good to know, if only it was some new intelligence. You’re tracking her? Great! Where is she now? Don't know huh? Well, she and Loki tele-ported from a city sidewalk, in front of me and hundreds of civilians, with no word on their next destination. “And make no mistake. Loki will find a way off of this planet and when that happens, there’ll be nothing else we can do.” “So what? Let him go! He’s won, Nick. It’s over.” Throwing himself down onto the bench, Steve’s dejected voice breaking, he slumped over his feet. “That’s not an option Cap. Loki is more powerful now than he’s ever been. You both read the reports. He wasn’t just hanging around on Asgard. No, Loki was negotiating peace between his native realm of Jotunheim and his adoptive home. He was gifted with tools and technology that no human could hope to wield. Earth ending stuff, Captain.” “Whatever plans you had of making peace are over now. There’s no way Loki gives us any help… and why would he after all this?” “Rogers, I’ll do whatever I must to keep this planet and the creatures on it safe. Loki is a threat to that, just by existing. With his new powers, high placed connections and intergalactic royal title, he had the potential to be unstoppable.” Seething breath puffed out the chests of the two men standing toe to toe. Machismo made Natasha want to vomit. Men. “Look, I’ll go after them. Steve, stay here, in case she reaches out. I’ll take the quinjet and trace their path.” Standing now herself, Natasha turned to the depressed super soldier, patting his arm, “Bucky’s still here. I’ll let you know when I’ve found anything.” “No. Nat, I can’t let you go alone. It’s my fault, too.” “You’re no good to me like this, Rogers.” “But, She’s-” Cutting him off, Natasha stepped closer to Nick, “I know, but you’re too involved. If tough choices need to be made, can you?” Gulping hard, passing a rough hand over his face, Steve frowned, “I can do my duty, if that’s what you’re asking.” “Steve.” Her tone said it all the words she wouldn't vocalize. I don’t trust you, not now, not like this. I don’t believe you will have my back at the cost of the woman you claim to love. I don’t think you can do the job. Fury didn't allow her the chance to elaborate, jumping in with his definitive voice, “Natasha’s right, Rogers. You’re staying right where you are, on the bench. Romanoff and I are going to resolve this issue without any further problems.” Half hearted, strength sapped, Steve raised his eyes to the leather clad figures before him, “Please. Please, Nick… Nat. Don’t hurt her.” “I promise, Steve. I won’t.” And in the second, all three knew she was lying.
--- Finding Thor’s shanty was easier than you expected. A friendly fisherman was only too happy to point you in the right direction. What you saw upon arrival was not entirely what you had expected when visiting Loki’s brother. It was a beat up looking cottage, surrounded by empty cases of cheap Midgardian beer, crumpled take out containers, and a collection of well fed seagulls situated near the edge of the village, “Ugh. What a pig.” “Loki! It’s… charming?” Your admonishing whisper turned the statement into a question at the sight of Loki’s disgusted face. For a second you just stood at Loki’s side, staring at the weather beaten front door, your hand clasped in his strong one. “It’s disgusting.” Agreeing with a small nod, “Um, yes. Yes, it is. But, this is your brother’s house and you said we needed to talk to him. Step one is ringing his bell.” “No. I won’t do it.” You had forgotten about this side of Loki. Fastidious, precise and obstinate, Loki could cop an attitude that had the ability to drive someone crazy. Someone like you. Over the last two years it had been easy to forget all the little things that made Loki prickly. It was even easier to forgive him. Since he’d left, you had looked at your life together through rose glasses, through a gentle fog of missing him, and those elements of your relationship that were less than perfect had been abandoned. Now, standing outside the hovel that Thor called a home, as a fresh day dawned over New Asgard, you were reminded of all those imperfect things that came with loving Loki. A wave of need, love, and longing for him rolled over you. All of those imperfections made you perfect for each other. Rising up on your toes you pressed a small kiss to Loki’s pout, taking the tall God by surprise, “What was that for?” Shyly grinning, you bit into your bottom lip, “I missed you… missed kissing you.” “Then perhaps you should come over here again?” That was all the invitation you needed. Stepping into Loki’s space, your chest resting against his own, you savored the nearness of him, as himself. He wasn’t playing at being Steve. Loki was here, he was with you, and if you weren’t mistaken his hands were drifting down your backside. The rush of it, well, it was familiar and new at the same time. How Loki seemed to inhale your breath, inhale you, as his mouth opened to accept your lips. His gentle exhale, a moan, as his tongue licked over your own. It was overwhelming. It was wonderful. Stepping back, you started to pull away, only for Loki to wrap his arms around your waist, “Not so fast, darling.” Losing yourself, you focused solely on the firmness of his body, the weight of his hands on your hips, the intensity of Loki’s desire. Intoxicating, heady, you leaned into those feelings. Kissing Loki back, you tangled his hair in your hand, earning another one of those sultry sounds that made your legs weak. How had you lived without the passion and pleasure he provided for so long? A smashing crash broke the quiet morning causing you to jump in Loki’s embrace, “What the hell was that?” Immediately on the defense, Loki pushed you behind him, crouching into a protective stance. From over his broad shoulder you watched, worried about the new danger coming your way, unsure how to help your reactive lover. Another rattle had Loki palming his dagger, anticipating an attack. That’s when a raccoon, bigger than your childhood terrier, scuttled from under an overturned trash can carrying what looked like a half eaten slice of pizza in its mouth. “Appalling! Mother would be modified!” Loki cursed as he offered you his hand, kicking away an empty glass bottle, "Why is he living like a dirty animal, surrounded by trash? One would think they were back on Sakaar!" “I don’t know what’s going on with Thor, but we came here for a reason. Let’s get it over with, ok?” Loki shook his head, refusing to step any closer, “He’ll have to come out here. I won’t go inside this… dilapidated shit box.” Sighing, “Fine. Fine, I’ll do it.” Stepping around a pile of broken electronics, you carefully picked your way to the front door, gracefully knocking on the splintering wood. After an answerless few seconds, you tried again, rapping lightly with your knuckles before turning to flash Loki a small smile. That’s when you noticed the striking woman striding towards you and your returned lover. “My, my… is that pretty Prince Loki I see?” Even her voice was sexy, you thought, as the sarcastic words dripped from her full lips. The swaggering stranger radiated cool, calm, sensual energy. Otherworldly energy that made you feel mortal and boring. You couldn’t help tugging your skirt straight and fluffing your hair as she got closer. “Ah… Valkyrie! How are you?” Hugging her tightly when she opened her arms, Loki found that he was genuinely happy to see the fierce, battle tested warrior. Smirking at your man, she countered, “That’s King Valkyrie to you. Your brother crowned me, or have you forgotten?” “On the contrary. It seems like he finally realized what I’ve known all our lives.” “Which is what, exactly?” “He’s not fit to be the ruler of Asgard, obviously.” Drawing right up to Loki, hands on her hips, Valkyrie leveled her dark eyes at his, “What would you know about ruling, Mischief?” “Enough to know that you’re good at it. Enough to know that I no longer want to be the King of Asgard.” “Is that so? And what’s changed your mind?” At those skeptical words, Loki wound an arm around your waist, tugging you close, “I’ve got more… important concerns these days.” Looking you over with her shrewd, searching gaze, but speaking to Loki, “And she likes you? Are you sure?” Laughing, the sound deep and rich, “As much as you like fighting and drinking.” “I hardly drink anymore. As King I have mead only on important occasions, I have to keep my wits about me the rest of the time.” Sharing a laugh, the two shared another small hug before Valkyrie turned to you directly, “Alright. Who’s this then?” Loki started to respond but you cut him off, extending a hard towards the newly crowned King of Asgard, “Uh, I can answer for myself, thank you, Loki. Valkyrie is it? Nice to meet you. And, yes, I love Loki.” Making a face that was part disgust, part pride, Valkyrie smirked, “Love? Oh no. Hasn’t anyone told you yet? Loving the Odinson boys is hard on a girl.” Pulling Loki in for a small kiss, taking him by surprise, “I’ll take my chances.” Shrugging nonchalantly, “Suit yourself.” Focusing on Loki once more, Valkyrie shifted on her feet, “Listen, if you’re looking for Thor, he’s not here.” “Oh? And where exactly is the lovable oaf?” Hitching a thumb over her shoulder, pointing up the hill, “At the palace… the new palace, that is. You can come and, please, don’t forget your girlfriend.” Falling in line behind the King, Loki couldn’t help but add, “You know Val, I think I liked you better when you were drunk.” Snorting in response, “And I know I liked you better when I was drunk, weird right?” Bringing up the rear, your own sarcastic comment dying on your throat when the Palace of New Asgard came into view. Banners of gold shimmered in the light of the rising sun, flapping in the breeze of the young morning, beckoning you closer. You hugged Loki’s arm tighter, excited and exhilarated by the sight before you. “Home is a people, not a place. Those were some of my father’s last words to Thor and I… and while I can never take you to the place where I grew up, this… this is the home of my people.” “Loki… it’s beautiful!” Valkyrie, stopping so you could both catch up, “It’s getting there. Thor’s been a huge help. Come on, let's show you around the palace and let your brother know you’re here.” ---To Be Continued!
My minxes: @sammy-jo1977 @vodka-and-some-sass @just-random-obsessions @brokenthelovely @lots-of-loki @thefallenbibliophilequote @iamverity @iluvsumbucky @unadulteratedwizardlove @wolfsmom1 @procrastinatinglikeabitch @mizfit2 @shxdowofdarkness @nonsensicalobsessions @ahintofkiwistrawberry @alexakeyloveloki @jessiejunebug @rorybutnotgilmore @crystalizedcaramel @lokislittlecorner @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @capcapcapsicle @jamielea81 @caffiend-queen @thenatalie @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @jenjen8675309 @that-one-person
#loki x reader#loki x you#loki fanfic#loki smut#loki multipart#MCU fanfiction#mcu x reader#mcu x you#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#bucky barnes#valkyrie#thor
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Not Working - For Lilly 💜
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!
For @chickwiththepurpleguitar
So, this is set in the world of WFW about a year after Julie left but it's not canon (yes I have my own canon 😂) within the WFW universe. In the world of my actual fic Luke and Bobby are just chaotic best friends/brothers who show their platonic love through fighting constantly. However, Lilly wanted Bobby pining after Luke in this universe and I love her so I have created this un-official splinter universe for her hc to live in. It does incorporate some of my actual ideas for the end of Sunset Curve in that original timeline though, just minus the pining. 😂 I hope you like it, my friend! 🥰(Also, I only went 100 words over our agreed upon word limit. Aren't you proud???)
It wasn’t working.
That was Bobby’s main thought as they packed up all their gear at the end of one of the final shows of their first tour. It was at least 2am, possibly later and they were all dragging as they forced their bodies through the second nature routine of getting everything safely into Beatrice. They had been all up and down the West Coast for the past few months, playing to decent sized crowds and getting a good response. The problem was this tour was supposed to be the thing that pushed them to the next level of success and that...that clearly wasn’t working.
Radio stations were completely uninterested in booking them to promote their performances.
Multiple venues had pulled out of hosting them at the last minute despite tickets already being sold, leaving them scrambling to find alternatives or canceling stops outright.
Even the company that printed their cheap t-shirts had politely declined their request to re-up their order.
It was like Sunset Curve had gone from being a band on the verge to a band on the verge of being unable to book a gig. None of this was that surprising given the fact that they had gone against Dec from Red Rose Records, an executive famous for holding grudges and exerting every bit of his influence to make things difficult for his targets. Part of Bobby had wanted to believe that Queenie would be able to intervene on their behalf, that she would finally stand up to her dad and find a way to make things easier for all of them. Part of him had wanted to believe she still cared enough about him to try.
Maybe she had and maybe she hadn’t and at the end of the day he couldn’t blame her either way. It had been a terrible situation all around...Luke’s attitude and Queenie’s dad insisting on that unfair contract and Bobby himself being completely incapable of putting everything out in the open when he was so scared of losing either Queenie or Luke. And that was to say nothing of Julie...all the absolute insanity that had been going on with Julie even though none of them knew it. It was because of her that he knew things could have gone much worse, could have ended with his friends dead and him as a hollow rockstar who betrayed the people he loved the most.
So even though he had loved Queenie (was probably still in love with her) and things with the band were quickly going downhill, he couldn’t bring himself to be entirely as depressed about those facts as he would have expected. He had his friends, they had each other, and they still had music. That wasn’t something anyone could take from them. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough. For him it was enough.
But he was also a realist and the reality was that things with the band weren’t working.
By the time they made it back to the questionable motel where they were staying for the night they were all dragging even more. Alex and Reggie disappeared into one of the rooms right away, barely pausing to wave goodnight to Bobby and Luke before they were shutting the door in their faces and presumably collapsing directly into bed. At the start of the tour they had all four shared a room in an effort to make their almost nonexistent tour budget stretch a little further but Alex had promptly declared Luke’s talking (and sometimes singing) in his sleep to be a crime against humanity and that to avoid him ending up with a murder charge they were going to need seperate rooms. Reggie had immediately started listing off various games he and Bobby could play to decide who got stuck sharing with Luke but Bobby had shut them all up by volunteering. That had earned him an odd look from Alex but Luke had clapped him on the back and made a speech about how it was nice to have someone on his side and the warm feeling that bloomed in Bobby’s chest was enough to help him forget opening his mouth meant he wouldn’t be sleeping much for the rest of the tour.
If he was being honest though he hadn’t exactly slept well for the better part of 2 years now. Even before Julie had arrived and all the madness that followed, Bobby had spent most nights laying awake for hours unable to fully ignore the fact that Luke was out in Wonderland curled up uncomfortably on that damn couch he still hadn’t figured out folded out. Bobby had spent a lot of time thinking about that and why exactly he could neither bring himself to go out and unfold the dumb bed himself and make sure Luke was ok or just fall asleep and ignore his friend’s relative comfort. So instead he had drifted off most nights tossing and turning, worrying about the boy who was so close and yet a world away.
So it really wasn’t that big of an adjustment for Bobby to be lying awake in various seedy motel rooms, trying no to think about how thoroughly the sheets had been cleaned and listening for the even breaths that would indicate his friend was getting some rest. He was often awakened again before long when Luke started talking in his sleep, snippets of nonsense bleeding into half-finished song lyrics fading into Julie’s name.
Bobby pretended to be asleep. He pretended not to hear.
He was a coward in some ways, always had been.
He didn’t have Alex’s wise advice or Reggie’s unexpected insights or Luke’s inspiring speeches. He didn’t have Queenie’s blunt truth telling. He didn’t even have Julie’s ability to make everything better simply by making sure you knew she was with you.
He just had good intentions and a tendency to avoid his problems, a useless combination.
But even he couldn’t ignore the way on this particular night Luke’s breathing never did even out. Instead, after barely twenty minutes of both of them lying still in their uncomfortable beds, Bobby listened as Luke slipped out of bed, pulled on his sneakers and slipped outside. He instantly sat up in the darkness and debated his next move. The typical Bobby move would be to lay back down and pretend he hadn’t noticed. That’s probably what Luke expected him to do. It might have even been what he wanted Bobby to do.
But Bobby was so sick of turning away and pretending he didn’t see what was happening around him. Pretending he didn’t see the blow up between Queenie and Luke coming, pretending he didn’t see that Julie was hiding something, pretending the writing wasn’t on the wall when it came to the future of Sunset Curve. Pretending he didn’t see how Luke still missed Julie like a phantom limb, an empty space that nonetheless managed to be an aching wound. Pretending Queenie didn’t represent the same to him. Pretending that despite the fact that he had loved Queenie (probably still did) he also thought...maybe...the other ache he felt came from loving something else...someone else...so much closer yet just as out of reach.
That wasn’t something he could ever say out loud. It just wasn’t. He was a realist and the reality was that Luke had loved Julie, still did and always would in a way that Bobby couldn’t fully understand even though he had witnessed it up close. He was never going to be the brave one, the one who told the truth just for the sake of doing it, just for an impossible chance.
So he couldn’t say out loud his inconvenient truth that maybe he had fallen in love with his best friend, just a little bit. He couldn’t.
But he could force his sock clad feet down onto the disgusting motel carpet. He could put his shoes on and slip outside and make sure his best friend was ok.
He could do that.
So he did.
At first as he blinked into the semi-darkness of the parking lot, a few flickering bulbs the only available source of light, he didn’t spot Luke at all. He felt a brief sense of rising panic flicker through him until the sound of shifting metal had his eyes darting over to the spot where Beatrice was parked. He squinted and could just make out Luke’s silhouette, hauling himself up onto the roof of Bobby’s van.
Bobby’s concern quickly melted into annoyance as he stomped over, coming to a stop next to his van and hissing up at the boy on top.
“What the hell are you doing up there?” Bobby demanded. “You’re going to put so many dents in the roof!”
Luke just scoffed, leaning over to peer down at Bobby with an annoyingly not at all repentant smile.
“Come on, Bobby,” He fired back. “Beatrice is 90% dents at this point. It’s part of her charm.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re up there,” Bobby grumbled.
Some of the cockiness drained out of Luke’s voice when he spoke again.
“Couldn’t sleep. Sometimes...sometimes looking at the stars helps.”
Bobby didn’t have to ask what exactly looking at the stars helped. He knew. And it wasn’t falling asleep.
It was missing Julie.
So Bobby didn’t fire back any of the relevant and bitingly hilarious retorts on the tip of his tongue. He simply sighed deeply before gripping the hood and hauling himself up to join his friend. If Luke was surprised by his decision he didn’t say anything, only reached his hand down to help pull Bobby up the rest of the way until they were both settled on the roof. Luke laid back and rested one of his arms behind his head as a pillow and Bobby mirrored him on the other side, their shoulders just brushing.
He had to admit, the view of the sky was a lot better than it had any right to be given where they were. Apparently they were just far enough outside of the city that the stars had a chance against the glow of civilization. The tiny pinpricks of light stretched out as far as he could see, their patterns and forms probably lost on Luke but he doubted his friend had come up here for a lesson on constellations and myths so Bobby kept his mouth shut.
Or at least he did for about 30 seconds before he glanced over at Luke and immediately regretted that decision. It was too hard to ignore all of the things he had been working so hard lately to ignore when they were this close.
He cleared his throat and brought his focus back to the reason he had followed Luke out in the first place.
“Any better?” He asked simply, rolling his head back to its original position so he could stare at the much safer vision of the stars again.
Bobby felt Luke shrug, his shoulder jostling against Bobby’s briefly.
“A little,” He said, sucking in a deep breath and then releasing it. “I just figure these are probably the same stars Julie’s looking at, you know?”
“Except for the ones obscured by 25 years of additional light pollution,” Bobby agreed.
“Wow, thanks, buddy,” Luke said dejectedly.
Bobby sighed and tried again.
“You know none of the stars we’re seeing are actually as they appear now, right? They’re so far away that even though that light is traveling to us extremely quickly it can still take years to get here.”
“I didn’t come up here for Bobby’s science time,” Luke mumbled.
“I’m saying that looking at the stars is like looking into the past,” Bobby insisted. “Julie’s probably not only looking up at the same stars, some of the one’s she’s seeing are how they appeared right here, right now. Isn’t that kind of cool?”
There was a brief pause giving Bobby just enough time to wonder if he had blown it again before Luke answered.
“Yeah,” Luke grumbled begrudgingly. “That is cool.”
Bobby couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction at that. Science could be comforting at times even if literature was his first love. The point was it had worked and he and Luke were back on solid ground again, or at least back on the creaking and protesting roof of his poor van.
“Have you heard from Queenie?” Luke asked, startling Bobby from his thoughts.
Bobby stiffened and shook his head before realizing it was too dark for Luke to see that gesture.
“Nah,” He answered, keeping his voice forcibly casual.
“Sorry,” Luke said simply.
“I’m sorry it’s still so hard,” Bobby returned. “Without Julie.”
“It’s fine,” Luke replied quickly. “Well, not fine, it’s hard everyday. You know that, but...I’m ok. I really am. You don’t have to worry.”
“But I obviously do,” Bobby snapped before realizing his mistake. “I mean all of us do.”
If Luke noticed his slip he didn’t comment on it.
“I’m always going to miss her,” He said softly. “But I believe she’s happy with her family and I have you guys and music and I’m happy too. Mostly. Usually.”
Bobby tried and failed not to let that traitorous warmth grow in his chest again at the thought of being one of the things that made Luke happy.
It wasn’t working.
So he turned his attention to the other thing that wasn’t working, the other conversation they needed to have, in an effort to distract himself.
“The tour’s almost over,” He started carefully. “Time to make some decisions.”
Luke let out another one of those deep breaths, Bobby instinctively scooting just half an inch closer until he could reassure himself with the feeling of Luke’s next inhale.
“I know,” Luke acknowledged, his voice sounding tired but not pained.
“Dec’s never going to let this band make it big,” Bobby continued gently. “And we’re almost out of money. Again.”
“I know that too,” Luke said softly. “I just wanted to finish out the tour before I made myself accept it. Even with all the struggling it has been pretty rad, hasn’t it?”
Bobby thought back to the hours and hours of driving in a smelly van and the gross motels and the cancellations and the crappy pay and the absolutely crushing exhaustion. He also thought back to the time spent with his best friends, and the small crowds singing their words back to them, and their dream, or at least some small portion of it that they had scraped and bled to come true.
He thought of Luke’s elated grin when they were playing their first song every night.
“Yeah,” He agreed with a soft smile that he knew Luke wouldn’t be able to see. “It’s been pretty rad.”
“We could keep trying…” Luke offered half-heartedly. “If we keep pushing long enough maybe something in this industry will give.”
“Or we’ll end up washed up and hating each other,” Bobby countered.
“That’s another possibility,” Luke sighed yet again. “But this is all we’ve got, Bobby.”
“Reggie’s been applying to film schools,” Bobby said, cringing at the groaning metal noise that came with Luke’s surprised reaction as he rolled toward his friend.
“He has? Why didn’t he tell me?” Luke asked.
“Nobody wants to let you down,” Bobby explained gently, turning his head to meet Luke’s confused gaze. “We love music, we do. We wanted this, so badly, you know that. But...it’s not like it is for you. It’s not...everything.”
“He could have told me,” Luke grumbled. “I would have been happy for him. I am happy for him.”
“Hey, you can tell him that tomorrow,” Bobby reassured him. “I figure we’re due for one last band meeting.”
“This sucks,” Luke huffed out, turning his head back up to the stars. “Like I don’t have any regrets cause we gave it our best shot, and I want all of you to be happy even if that’s not in the band. But on top of...well, everything else...it still sucks.”
“Yeah,” Bobby agreed simply. “It really sucks.”
“What are you going to do?” Luke asked.
“I don’t know,” Bobby offered honestly. “Maybe go to college? Study literature or psychology.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be a shrink like your parents,” Luke teased.
“Hey, I think we’ve all proven that there are a lot of kids out there who could use someone to talk to about their messed up family dynamics,” Bobby said.
“Too bad they might get stuck talking to you,” Luke joked, bumping his shoulder with Bobby’s and sending an incredibly annoying shock of happiness through him.
“Shut up,” Bobby mumbled, not meaning it. Not at all.
There were a few seconds of silence before Luke spoke up again.
“I really am happy for all of you to do whatever you want,” He said firmly. “Seriously. But I can’t give up on music.”
“I know,” Bobby said softly. “It won’t be easy.”
“Hey,” Luke replied. “I figure impossible is relative in my life at this point.”
Bobby couldn’t resist a short bark of laughter at that.
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
They were silent again for a few long moments before Bobby found just enough courage to give voice to one last fear.
“Hey, Luke? We’re still going to be friends right?”
Luke’s answer came quickly.
“Of course, man. You’re my best friend. Band or no band.”
Bobby nodded, not caring this time that Luke couldn’t see him. When he answered he could hear the held back tears in his voice and he was pretty sure Luke could too.
“Band or no band.”
Luke reached out blindly and latched his hand around Bobby’s, just for a second, but the contact was enough to leave Bobby’s fingers tingling long after his friend had retracted his.
He tried to pretend that it was just the result of some kind of electric shock but…it wasn’t working.
Still.
He couldn’t bring himself to be sad about managing to fall in love with yet another person who couldn’t give him everything he wanted.
Julie had taught them a lot of things but one of the big ones was that something didn’t have to end the way you hoped it would for it to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it. Love didn’t have to be forever or even returned in the same way to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it.
Bobby had loved both Queenie and Luke (he probably still did) and he didn’t regret either.
Queenie would always be someone he wished the best for from afar and Luke?
Luke would always be his best friend.
Band or no band.
And that would keep working
He would make sure of it.
#my fics#we found wonderland vibes#lobby#lukebobby#not canon#but some delicious pining for my friend#because what is friendship if not creating ultra specific splinter universes to cater to each other's tastes#HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY
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Tea Party
rating: fluffy
warning: canon typical hargreeves family shenanigans. five is a little murdery - its fine
words: 1.7K
AO3
summary: Five has a plan. It does not survive contact with his niece.
Five was absolutely going to blame Klaus for everything. It could only be his fault that Five found himself dressed in a fairy princess dress with matching nails and makeup, attending a tea party.
That morning, Allison had picked up Claire from the airport — Patrick was apparently shooting some sort of documentary in Africa over the summer and didn’t want to leave Claire with somebody in LA or take her with him. Thus Allison got temporary custody while Patrick was away.
Mom was over the moon, loving the chance to meet her granddaughter. Klaus and Ben were almost as excited and Five knew that Vanya and Diego were quietly eager as well, all of them counting down the day until they met their niece. Luther had flown out with Allison earlier in the year for Allison’s court hearing and got to meet Claire in California.
Five was mostly indifferent. He had never interacted with kids before and didn’t really care to now. He remembered what absolute brats his siblings were at that age — even Vanya — and he didn’t want to get mixed up in that nonsense again. He figured he’d be there to greet Allison and meet Claire and then find ways to not be at the Mansion for most of the summer.
It was a solid plan. He just didn’t account for the rest of his siblings. He was working in Dad’s old office — the seven of them had gone to town on the room, breaking everything in sight, even starting some small fires (Klaus) that were very quickly put out. Afterward, they had given Five the room and told him to do things dad wouldn’t be proud of. Five ignored what Klaus was implying with that statement (that was paired with a pair of waggling eyebrows) and gladly moved into the study.
He had planned on working on his equations to get his adult body back— he had hoped to get them done before the new year but as he sat squished into a child’s chair, sipping at imaginary tea he saw those plans go up in smoke. Five knew — to the bottom of his soul — that he wasn’t going to be able to avoid his family this summer.
“Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to stay. I have work to be doing and this is not going to help.” Five was dead set on leaving this ridiculous thing.
“Oh, what are you working on Uncle Five?”
“I need to finish my quantum equation so that I may return to my adult body. It’s work that’s far beyond the intelligence of anyone currently living in this house.”
“That sounds amazing!” Claire’s voice was appropriately amazed.
Claire was absolutely brilliant and he couldn’t let his dumbass siblings mess that up. Obviously that meant he’d have to be more involved in her plans during the summer to run interference against his brothers. He knew, he just knew, that their idiocy would spread and he couldn’t have that.
Klaus was muttering about princesses and dragons and magic...Five narrowed his eyes and quietly began to make plans on how to limit Claire’s exposure to him. That sort of nonsense was ok — barely — in small doses but Klaus was not a small dose and with him not working...Klaus was going to be a problem.
There was a loud crash followed by yelling and cursing and Five frowned. It was Luther and Diego in the foyer and he didn’t even want to begin imagining what kind of bad habits they could impart on Claire, the fools. He distinctly remembered a phone call threatening a defenseless old woman because those morons thought she had killed Elliot. Which reminded him, he needed to figure out what languages Claire spoke so he could help fill it out with more practical languages. Five guessed she might have Spanish and French, but he had a list of languages that would be more useful to know.
Ben’s laughter grew as Luther and Diego’s cursing did and Five mentally crossed him off his list. Ben had spent too long with only Klaus to talk to — he couldn’t be trusted to make good choices. He might be a good partner on some trips though, isolate him from their brothers.
A selection from the Phantom of the Opera grew louder in response to the nonsense happening in the foyer and Five grinned. He’d have to get Vanya on board with his plans — musical ability was high on the list of things Claire should know and it would be helpful to have an ally in his fight. Claire might even ask for lessons herself if he talked about it in the right way.
Allison...might be an issue. Five was planning on hogging her daughter — but he remembers the fights for the bathroom and the sharp pains of Allison’s elbows. He didn’t need a reminder from her this summer. Nor was he going to allow that sort of senseless violence to come from Claire. Instead, he wanted to nurture a more targeted violence. Claire looked like she had inherited Allison’s pointed elbows and Five had plans for those things. Plans.
Five dove deeper into his thoughts, all but ignoring every happening around him.
*
“Do you think he knows we can hear him?” Diego didn’t know whether to be insulted or amused. He had rushed home as soon as he could to meet Claire but had run into Luther right in the foyer. It has set off one of their common fights which Allison had to break up. Afterward, she dragged him up to Claire’s new room where they were greeted with prime blackmail material — Five playing dress-up and having a tea party with their brother and niece.
“You think we’d still be alive if we saw this?” Allison did have a good point but on the other hand-
“He hasn’t hurt Klaus, yet.”
“Klaus is probably the reason he’s in the dress.”
“Not Claire?”
“She doesn’t really care for tea parties but she does like messing with people.” Allison sounded smug and proud, a tone that had Diego instinctively shuddering.
“Really?”
“Remind me to tell you the story about the third babysitter.”
Diego gave her a harsh side-eye at that and made the silent decision to never do that. He looked again at Five and Klaus playing pretty princesses and happened to see the glint in Claire’s eyes and knew that Claire was more like Allison then he thought. He remembers the Fight for the Bathroom and wanted no part in a round two.
“Is...is he planning on weaponizing my daughter?” Allison’s voice broke his train of thought and he focused on what Five saying more then what he was wearing and it...concerned him slightly.
“Yes. He is planning on weaponizing her. And I think he might be planning on killing me and Luther.”
“Well, that’s understandable.”
“What’s understand...able?” Luther and Ben’s echoed question slowly trailed off as they spotted the same thing that stopped Diego and Allison earlier. Diego was only slightly wary of Ben’s smile, reminding himself that Ben had spent several years with only Klaus for company.
“Five is planning our murder.” Diego threw Five under the bus with no shame.
“Why?” Luther sounded confused.
“Do you really think he needs a specific reason?”
“Well, I’d hope he’d have at least one.”
“...he grew up with us.” Allison’s tone was dry.
“He realizes that we also grew up with him right?” Diego muttered under his breath as he tried to remember where Mom left the camera. He wanted physical proof that this party was happening.
“Oh, he probably conveniently forgot that side of the story. Is he planning on using Claire and her el-elbows?!” Ben sounded mildly impressed but Diego saw Luther shuddered and finally had some proof that Luther had a brain somewhere in his giant head.
“From the sounds of it, he doesn’t want our idiocy to infect Claire.”
“Soooo...he’s planning on killing us?” Diego had to sound incredulous. Five was skipping like seven different steps that should happen before murder.
“Oh, he’s been at it for a while. Murder is just the latest step of his master plan,” Klaus finally piped up from his seat in the room, proving that the three of them could actually hear them.
“Yeah, but he’s not going to do anything but plan. Right, Uncle Five?” Claire’s voice was sweet on the surface but Diego knew better. The males present in the room all froze and paled several shades. That tone was all pre-teen Allison and the terror they felt was ingrained.
Only Five was brave enough to start talking, “Claire, I don’t think you-”
Claire only raised an eyebrow at him and he shut his mouth quickly and violently. Diego laughed a little under his breath but the way that Claire slowly turned to look at him muted his laughter.
“Why don’t you all come join us!”
*
Grace hummed under her breath a little, stacking the cookies she had just finished baking. Her darling granddaughter had asked for some chocolate chip cookies made with love and Grace was hopeless to refuse. She finished with the cookies and moved to take them to Claire’s room. She met Vanya on the landing, Vanya coming from her music room, and Grace offered her a cookie.
“Thanks, Mom. But why?”
“Oh! Claire was telling me she was planning on having a tea party with everyone and wanted some cookies for it.”
“They’re having a tea party?” Vanya sounded both ignored and delighted.
“Well, I believe that your brothers were pressed into it but I'm sure they’ll be glad to have you join them.” Grace hummed a little, wanting to make her youngest daughter happy again.
She got her wish when they came to Claire’s room and Vanya’s laughter rang out over the conversation happening at Claire’s kid-sized table. Grace smothered a smile, not wanting to hurt anybody’s pride but helpless all the same to prevent the smile from forming in the first place. She agreed with Vanya’s laughter. Her boys did look somewhat ridiculous, dressed in badly fitting princess dresses as they were.
“Not. A. Word.” Her lovely Diego uttered what he thought was a threat but Grace knew that nobody was going to take him seriously — not with his tiara falling off and his make-up smudged.
“Auntie Vanya! Gramma! Join us?”
Grace and Vanya shared smiles and went to get changed — they were attending a royal tea party. They couldn’t wear just anything after all.
#the umbrella academy imagine#the umbrella academy#tua imagine#tua#five hargreeves#claire hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#ben hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#grace hargreeves#hargreeves children#m's fics#my stuff#tea party
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KICKS (part one)
Roger visits the seediest shop in London in search of a kinky Valentine’s day gift for his girlfriend. He thinks he’s a great lay and he thinks he’s seen it all. He’s also dating one of the sexiest women in the country. It should be a recipe for sexual heaven for Roger, but he soon realises he has a lot to learn, and he keeps coming back to Kicks for more than just the odd ball gag or leather collar!
Warnings: Strong D/s themes later on. STRICTLY 18+. Notes: I said I’d post this in one go, but I lied. I’m gonna post it in parts because I love it. As always, feedback is much appreciated. If you like this, then please, for the love of all that is holy, reblog it (I am begging)! And if you’d like to be tagged, please just send me a message. Thanks for reading!
Tag list: @jennyggggrrr @sarahgurl09 @scorpiogemini @johnricharddeacy @brianssixpence @hellohellothere12
Valentine’s day was always hectic at Kicks, despite the locals being loathed to admit that they satisfied their fiendish fancies there – even for a few days of the year.
And for you, it meant working overtime to guarantee that the merchandise looked as tantalising as ever. It gave you the chance to let your creativity run wild, but you couldn’t go overboard with latex-clad, strap-on wearing mannequins in the front window. After all, the locals were still prudes.
While you were busy in the stockroom, filling a box of dildos for distribution, the bell above the front door chimed. It was a Wednesday evening. Things were winding down for the day. And you had assumed you’d be undisturbed until closing time.
Evidently not.
Your eyes rolled. “I’ll be through in a minute!”
“No need, take your time!”
When the cardboard box at your feet was brimming with rubber dongs and silicone schlongs, you hauled it up into your arms. But, you instantly bemoaned the decision to pile it so high that your arms buckled and you could barely peer over the top of your haul as you made your way back on to the shop floor. All you could see was a tuft of blonde hair lingering around the section of the store that housed every restraint under the sun.
“Are you alright?” the customer asked, scurrying into view.
You dumped the box on the cash desk and huffed, planting your hands on your hips. “Yep, yep, just fine. Just overextended myself.”
You turned to the customer to see a childish smirk peeking from the corners of his mouth. He was dying to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. After all, he had partied with strippers, witnessed wild drug-fuelled orgies and all kinds of debauchery. But here he was, like a naughty teenager in a sweetshop. Roger had never, ever, been in one of these kinds of shops before.
“Can I help you, handsome?” you pressed.
Roger snapped back to reality with a look of faux seriousness. His hand crept beneath the collar of his half-buttoned shirt to press against the curve between his neck and his shoulder. “Oh, yes. Yes. I’m… I’m looking for something to maybe tie my girlfriend up or something. For Valentine’s day, you know? Show her a good time.”
You found his meek facade quite endearing. Most customers had that look about them, but somehow, you expected more from the gregarious drummer of a rock and roll band. “Well,” you began, flinging out your arms. “You’ve come to the right place.”
Roger responded by diverting his gaze to his feet with an eye-crinkling smile.
You emerged from behind the cash desk and gave Roger’s arm a light slap. “Come on over and I’ll show you some of my wares.”
He trailed behind you like a shy little puppy, fumbling his hands in front of his body. “We haven’t really tried this before so I don’t know…”
“That’s ok,” you said, eyeing the wall of restraints for something to show him. You knew full well that Betsy Bright, darling of the Pirelli Calendar, coupled with Queen’s most desirable member, were destined for dirty escapades in the bedroom – even if they hadn’t got around to it yet. And they had to start somewhere.
“W-what about these? These look nice,” Roger mumbled. He held up a set of heavy-duty leather ankle and wrist cuffs for you to inspect.
“How does your girlfriend feel about all of this?” you asked.
“I don’t really know. Honestly, this was just a whim. I’ve already got her some nice knickers. Fred’s been in a couple of times. Joked that I might find something in here.”
That was a typical man response that you’d probably hear a thousand times throughout the Valentine’s frenzy and the annoyance you felt was palpable. Roger edged the cuffs back on to the display.
“Yeah, those might freak her out,” you remarked. “That’s like gifting a virgin a 14-inch dildo and no lube, and telling them to take it in ten minutes.”
“Noted.”
“Why don’t you start…” you said, trailing your hand over the display until you found what you were looking for. “With these?” You held up a set of satin straps for Roger to gaze at. “Much less intimidating. Really versatile. And they come in all kinds of colours.”
Roger took them and allowed the material to fall through his fingertips. “These are nice,” he said, dipping into the bag of department store goodies that hung from his wrist. When he lifted his hand, a whisper-thin, bottle green g-string dangled from his index finger. “Got any to match this?”
“Betsy Bright’s gonna look fantastic in those,” you said, handing him another set of straps.
He couldn’t meet your gaze and the flush of pink that spread from his chest to his jaw gave away even more of his embarrassment. “I hope so,” he said quietly.
“I can throw in a blindfold and a nice little scarf gag for an extra tenner if you want?”
Roger’s eyes were elsewhere; they darted around his surroundings with a coy curiosity. “That sounds great.”
“Do you want me to ring these up for you?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, trailing behind you.
You could feel Roger’s eyes on you as you rang his kinky starter pack through the till and bagged them up for him. Every time you moved, his eyes moved with you. But when you looked up, he quickly looked away, towards the box of dildos beside you. “That’s twenty quid please,” you said, handing him his bag.
He gave you the money from his shaking hand and returned his eyes to the box. Intrigue got the better of him and made him pick up the biggest toy in there. He marvelled at it, turning it in his hand.
“Think you could manage it?” you smirked.
His face reddened again. “Oh, I’m… I’m just… could anyone?”
You nodded slowly with your eyes bulging from your head and a scowl on your lips.
“I’d hate to be the poor woman whose undercarriage gets wrecked by that,” he mused. “How could anyone… Look! I can’t even get my hand around it.”
“Patience and a lot of lube.”
Roger’s mouth hung open as he looked at you again. “Have you? How did you… what?”
You giggled. “No! God no. But it’s possible. I think you’re curious, now though, aren’t you? I reckon you could take that if you really stretched yourself.”
The dildo was dumped back in the box in protest. “No,” he whispered, furiously shaking his head.
“I think you’re more interested than you’re letting on, but that’s alright. I won’t tell.”
“I’ll stick to sticking my dick in things. Rather than having things stuck in me. If that’s alright.”
You threw your hands in the air. “Whatever tickles your pickle!”
“I’m a great lay by the way. I’m just throwing that out there.”
A sarcastic chuckle escaped your lips. “Bet you’ve never found the g-spot.”
Roger leaned on the cash desk, screwing up his beautiful features, eager for you to impart your wisdom. “Sorry, what?”
One week later…
Rounding the corner, the morning sun sparked a blazing path before you. Beautiful, boring shopfronts blurred past you as your speedometer approached 60. Double the speed limit, but opening time was drawing closer by the second.
Never in your time at Kicks had you been late. And you weren’t going to let that happen today.
Turning the throttle, the needle spiked at 70, and then steadily eased as the shop came into view.
When your bike came to a stop opposite the shop, you hesitated for a moment, thanking your lucky stars you decided to don a visor that day. A customer paced back and forth, but you couldn’t see their face from that far away. It was rare to find customers pounding the pavement, waiting for the doors to open. Rarer still when that customer turned out to be Roger Taylor – again.
Whipping off your helmet and crossing the street, you caught Roger’s eye. Stopped in his tracks, he struggled to fight back a broad grin. And the way his eyes strayed.
You didn’t look at him when you slipped your key into the lock. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite customer! How’d Miss Pirelli get on? She like getting tied up?” You pushed the door open and switched on the lights. Roger followed.
“I’m not sure,” he said, scratching at the undersides of his arms as he wandered into the middle of the shop – and tried not to touch anything.
Weaving in and out of the group of catsuit-clad mannequins in the front window, you stopped and narrowed your eyes at Roger. “What do you mean: you’re not sure?” you asked, pulling up the blinds. “Don’t you talk?”
“Sure, as soon as I’ve spaffed my load down her tits and we’re lying there all sweaty and exhausted, I just... just turn to her and ask,” he paused, lowering his voice and pressing his hand to the side of his mouth, “darling did you like those silk ties and how was the little feather duster I tickled your fanny with? Sure!”
You shook your head and wandered over to Roger. “So you don’t do a thorough post-match analysis? How on earth do you communicate? Jesus Christ, Roger!”
“I think she liked it! Ok?”
“So you’re back for that monster cock you saw last week?” you asked with fake glee.
Roger crossed his arms and jutted out his hip. “No, actually.” As quickly as his face clouded over with indignation, it dropped even more into a serious gaze. “I was hoping you could give me some advice.”
You seemed to understand that this was unusual for Roger and that he wasn’t exactly used to opening up like this. “Coffee?”
He perked up ever so slightly, his arms dropping down by his sides. “Coffee.”
Roger followed you on your way into the back room, but he lingered just at the door and watched you make the coffee.
“I’ve got some chocolate digestives if you want some. You know, in case you need to eat your feelings,” you joked.
“Wouldn’t say no,” he laughed. “I don’t think I’m quite at that point just yet.”
“Right,” you began, thrusting Roger’s coffee into his hand on your road back to the shop floor. “Tell me all of your woes, drummer boy.”
You and Roger hauled yourselves on to stools on opposite sides of the cash desk. He looked down, staring into the cup in his hands. And then he looked up. “Actually I think I will have a biccy, please.”
Without a word, you plucked a single chocolate digestive from the packet and slid it towards him like a seedy bartender. But you kept your finger on it when he tried to take it.
He shot you a frustrated glare.
“A moment on the lips and all that,” you quipped, “I’ll give you this if you tell me what’s bugging you.”
Roger puffed out his cheeks and maintained eye contact with you – he looked like he was begging, but you wouldn’t budge even with his fingers planted on the outer edges of the now melting chocolate biscuit.
“Come on. That layer of chocolate’ll be long gone before you’ve ‘fessed up!”
“This is weird, talking to someone I don’t even know about it.”
You shrugged. “I sell naughty tapes to sweaty old men and rubber dolls to greaseballs with bad breath – and I have to smile about it. Trust me, this isn’t the weirdest thing that’s going to happen to me today. Spill the beans.”
Roger tilted his head to the side with a coy smile. He wasn’t sure where to begin or how to verbalise his feelings on the matter. “Ok. So last week went well. I think she liked it. And I think she wants more of that but…” Roger trailed off. His eyes darted in the air as if he was reading from a script he had tried to commit to memory. But he was lost.
“Right, eat that,” you instructed, letting go of the biscuit.
Roger took it, dunked it in his coffee and took a bite. “It’s just,” he began through his mouthful, “it didn’t feel right for me.”
Even if you hadn’t the foggiest idea what Roger meant by that, you still made a good show of pretending that you did, nodding and dishing out an understanding, “Ah, I get you. Takes a bit of getting used to.”
Roger was dunking the other half of his biscuit when he continued. “I just didn’t feel comfortable with it, you know? I like sex. Love sex. But I felt like I’d rather have all of that done to me. And it just gets really tiring when she expects me to… perform... all the time. She wants me to pull her hair and put my hands around her neck… spank her. And I don’t know how to feel about that.” Roger finished pouring his heart out by lifting his biscuit out of his mug. It was sodden and fell apart upon removal, much to Roger’s disdain. “Well, that’s my coffee ruined.” He looked back up at you. “So yeah.”
“Have you tried – I don’t know – telling her this?”
“I did, but she was kind of dismissive about it. She told me it’s no big deal. But I’m intrigued. I want that… but for me.”
“Well, you need to figure out if it’s a crucial part of your relationship. Are you serious with Betsy?”
Roger shrugged. “She’s fun to look at, and she’s always, you know, up for it. But it’d be nice to let go for a bit. I’m not even sure how I’d feel about doling out any of the rougher stuff that she wants to try. Plus she’s a bit of a bimbo, you know?” he added, cupping his hands around a pair of imaginary breasts on his chest. “Not much going on in the brain.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that last bit and just tell you how it is,” you stated. “So. The way I see it is you’ve got two – maybe three – problems here,” you announced, sitting up straight. “Number one: the Venn diagram between your kinks and your girlfriend’s kinks don’t really align. She expects you to be just as savvy and into it as she is, and I’m gonna hazard a guess here, you haven’t been as adventurous as she has. Sound right?”
“Right,” Roger nodded enthusiastically.
“Number two: you’re apprehensive because you’re not as savvy as you thought you were. You’re not comfortable diving into all the debauchery she wants, because you’ve still got much to learn.”
“Yep.”
“And third: I think you’d rather be submissive in bed.”
Roger thought about that final point for a moment. His brow furrowed as he took a sip of his coffee.
“I think I’ve nailed it,” you said.
“I think you have. Maybe.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
Roger’s eyes lightened. “I’m going to need to have a long, hard think about that one, aren’t I?”
“You’re damn right you do.”
NEXT PART >>
#roger taylor#roger taylor x reader#queen#queen imagine#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor fic#roger taylor x you#queen x you#roger taylor fanfic#please validate me
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Kinktober Day 5: Nukklebust Productions Presents
Kinktober Day 5 Prompts: Kneeling ~ Triple penetration ~ Video (being recorded) Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives) Tags: exophilia, m/f, slight f/f, orgy, triple penetration, kneeling, video recording, pornography, group sex, anal plug, sex toys, Pairing:GoblinM/HumanF, GoblinM/ElfF, HumanF/ElfF
[Authors Note: This is purely self indulgent smut that I have written for my own personal enjoyment and it is loosely based on a dream I had a few weeks ago. I was torn between putting this in Warcraft or not and I decided to put it in the Auchendale universe so I can use Ember since I kind of fell in love with her, which was unintentional since I made her on a whim. Vyzzie was borrowed from a friend with permission.]
The owners of The Scarlet Eclipse had some very firm rules on photography and video being taken in the club. The top rule was that in general it wasnt allowed. This was to help enforce privacy rules and ensure that the people who came to the club felt safe. The exception to the rule was, of course, pornography. The owners had a relationship with a few directors in the industry and allowed some of their rooms to be used for photo shoots and film shoots as long as nothing got out of hand and it was kept quiet. The location was never allowed to be revealed.
There were limitations of course, no large productions, and only so many rooms could be rented out for this purpose. The club still needed to cater to its own clientele of course, and it opened up the opportunity for people to explore their own exhibitionist and voyeuristic fetishes. Once it became known, it was an open secret around the club. Privacy was still respected, but the owners invested in a remodel that turned a couple of the rooms into permanent filming areas. They could be accessed through a special door and from the outside and the area could be locked down if needed.
When not in use by professionals, the owners allowed club members to book the rooms for a fee and they would get a copy of the finished product for their own personal enjoyment. Some allowed their amateur films to be released online, most kept them private. VIP members of the club were allowed to use these areas for free with enough prior notice. As it was, there was a waiting list, and sometimes it could take a few months to gain access to one of the rooms, especially if you needed a specific one.
The club owners had made it easy to check the availability of the rooms online, and there was a link to the waiting list. Anyone already on it could also check their place in the queue. Vyzzie had been checking every day for the last few weeks to see if his request had been bumped up in the queue. He had paid extra and used his friends VIP access to cut in line as much as he could. He was eager to do the scene and had been making preparations for almost two months now. The preparations had to be changed multiple times already as people had backed out and Vyz knew the longer it took the harder it would be to do.
Thankfully his friend had promised not to back out and had even suggested bringing someone along so she wasn’t the only female in the scene. It meant they could do much more with what they had left and the plans for the scene had begun to change. It was shaping up to be one of his better ideas, he just had to make sure the people still on board stayed on board.
The idea had come about after a wild night with two chicks he didn’t really know well. He ended up getting kind of close to one of them and she had expressed a desire to have another threesome but with two guys instead. He knew someone that would be interested and it had been fun, but then they got to thinking, why not invite more people, and the idea developed into something that Vyz was quite eager for, as was his new friend Ember.
Vyzzie had promised that he would only invite people she trusted, and Ember offered to bring her elf friend from the first time. It was shaping up to be quite a scene and once it was settled the negotiations began and everything was put in place with an understanding of what was expected of everyone. Simple color codes would be used instead of safe words so that everyone could be on the same page and no one got lost or confused.
When the day finally came Vyz could barely contain his excitement. He had gone over the details with Ember so many times that they both decided to share control of the situation. It also lead to copious amounts of sex between the two of them as every time they discussed it the conversation would inevitably arouse one or both of them. They had pretty much fucked on every surface in Vyzzie’s apartment, including his roommate's bed. That one he wasn’t particularly proud of when it was discovered and he had to do a lot of apologizing to make up for it.
With Ember in tow and some luggage Vyz arrived at the club a few hours before the filming was going to start. This was pretty standard to give them time to set up, and get everyone ready. He was practically vibrating with excitement the goblin looking up at his human companion with mischievous violet eyes.
“Ok, so it’s gonna be an hour before the others show up. I thought we could get everything set up and go over the negotiations one last time. Make sure nothin essential god missed.” Vyz opened the door to the main room and dropped off his bags before peeking into the equipment room off to the side. It housed all the recording equipment, back up servers, everything they needed but it was empty. “Ok looks like the crew ain’t here yet. S’fine, gives us a bit more time.”
Ember moved around the room checking things out and setting her luggage near the back wall and out of the way. She could change later. For now the room needed some work. The bed would be plenty large enough for all of them, not much else in the room would make it into the shot, but it was still worth it to spruce up the room and make it look nice. Despite what they were going to be doing, Ember wanted it to have a soft feeling and she began digging through the chests full of props and accessories to see how they could alter the look and feel of the room.
“Whatcha got there dollface?” Vyz had slipped up behind Ember, placing a hand on her ass and peering into the chest she was digging through.
“I was hoping to find something to help the room look less plain and sterile. The bed is nice, its a good size. The furniture all matches and it looks ok. Has a bit of a hotel feel which might be on purpose, but I was kind of hoping for something a little different?” She looked at him and rolled her eyes when she felt him rubbing her ass. “You are getting awfully friendly there Vyzzie.”
“Yer my friend.” He quipped and pinched her. “Don’t worry. I remember. No attachments. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the benefits package.” Smirking he dug through the chest with a free hand, black claws catching on some fabric. “I trust your taste. I know we were only at your place once, but I liked it. Lots of lights, colors. Had that weird gothic rainbow vibe going. You got a unique style Em, that is for sure.”
“How about we change the lamps, throw up some lights on the wall, drape some fabric around and soften the whole room up a bit. Considering what we are going to be doing, it will be a really interesting contrast I think.” Ember pulled some sheer fabric from the chest and began draping it on the headboard.
“I like how you think. Let the room be soft, the actions hard.” Vyz helped change out the room decor to match her vision. It was getting close to when the others should start arriving. “Hey, uh.. Emmy? You know if you aren’t sure about this or need to change some stuff I will understand. You know that right?”
Ember laughed. “Emmy?” She stepped over to Vyz, running a hand through his dark blue hair. “Yeah Vyz. I know. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t trust you.”
“I will make sure your boundaries ain’t crossed. I know ya got some hang ups and all that. Don’t want there to be any pressure in the moment to do anything you ain’t sure of. I know how it gets once a scene starts and ya get caught up in it. Don’t want that ta happen here.”
Ember nodded. “That is why I brought a precaution. I really don’t like anal, and I won’t be able to relax if I worry that it might happen, even accidentally. So I brought a plug with me to help. If something is already there that I am comfortable with, then nothing else can go in and I can relax. I know it sounds counter intuitive and it took me a long time to get to a point where I can even use it, but it actually helps and functions in a way that lets me maintain control over it.”
“Not weird, makes a lot of sense actually. You control its size, when you use it, and it prevents anyone you are with from just having an ‘oops’ moment or doin the whole ‘it's better to ask forgiveness than permission’ nonsense. I hear ya, I support it. Need any help or just some privacy?”
“I can go put it in myself, wont take me too long I prepared myself for it but didn’t want to have it in all day. Give me a few minutes to get ready if you want to finish the room?”
“Sure, no problem, I can get it done.” Vyz went back to putting the finishing touches on the room when the crew arrived.
They began setting up the cameras at the goblins' instruction and made sure all the equipment was well hidden so as to not ruin the scene. There would only be so many angles shot and the final product would time some time to edit and put together into something polished and finished, ready for release, but Vyz was fine with waiting.
He had initially thought to hire a scene director, someone to keep everyone on track, but instead chose to work through the scenario with everyone, set a basic structure, and then just let things happen naturally. He wanted it to be real, visceral, and that wouldn't happen if there was a script or strict direction to follow.
Ember came back into the room with nothing but a mask and some thigh high socks on. The masquerade mask was small, simple, and not too bulky. It would stay on easily, and leave her mouth and nose free. The thigh highs were a request from Vyz. The only other things she had on was special body make up that would hide her tattoos and dried down so it wouldn’t smear. She had practiced with it before, going through an intense sex scene to see how well it held up to sweat and other body fluids along with friction. It held up well enough that she was confident in being filmed. She knew her tattoos were recognizable enough that she just wasn’t willing to risk it since Vyz made it clear this wasn’t going to stay private.
The muscular goblin let out a low whistle when he saw Ember. The thigh high socks were perfect. A soft looking material, black, and they hugged her thighs in a way that made it clear they wouldn’t move. The mask was black with silver accents and it made her look elegant. “Damn, you sure do make a pretty picture there Em. So uh, when is Vela gonna arrive?”
“She should have already been here. I told her she needed to get here early to get ready. I hope everything is ok. Let me text her real fast.” Heading back to her bags to grab her phone Ember didn’t notice the door opening again.
The rest of the goblins arrived as a group. Vyz greeting his friends and acquaintances with a smile. “Glad ta see ya made it boys. Ember is in the back finishin up and we are just waitin on Velasara. I think you only met Ember though” Vyz commented to his friend.
Coming back out Ember paused to see a room full of goblins standing around. All eyes were suddenly on her and never before had she felt more like prey. The moment passed quickly but it was hard to shake as a few sets of eyes lingered.
“Here lemme introduce you. Ember you already know Krazz from the party. Those two are Riznik and Viznik, twins if it wasn’t obvious, and that is Zorblix.” Vyz finished the introductions.
“Just Blix.”
Ember nodded and waved. “I would appreciate it if my name wasn’t used during filming, if it is all the same.”
“Sure thing, not a problem. Anyone else?” Vyz knew that both women would be in masks, but he wasn’t sure about anyone else.”
“I’m good with not using names. We all wearing masks or just the girls?” Krazz rolled his shoulders and looked for a place to set down his bag. “I brought one with me just in case. No offence but I am not sure I want to be recognized.”
“We can just avoid names entirely if it helps. I can’t imagine there is gonna to be much talkin” Vyz chimed in, his accent sounding much thicker in comparison to his friend.
“I don’t really give a shit either way. Not my first rodeo, so it is all fine with me.” Blix moved off to the back of the room and began stripping.
There was a knock interrupting the conversation and the door slowly opened. “Hello? I am sorry I am late.” Vela stepped in looking a bit frazzled. “Sorry got caught up and it took me some time to get everything together. I hope I didn’t put us too far behind?”
“Nah, yer good, we ain’t even started.” Vyz waved the lithe elf over and gestured to the back. “Go get ready and we can do a final run through and just make sure everyone is on the same page before we begin.” Vyz moved back to the recording room and spoke to the staff there, making sure that they would be ready to go as soon as the group finished their preparations.
While Vyzzie was busy, the rest of the goblins stripped and got ready for the scene. The twins were engaged in a bout of rock paper scissors to decide who got which girl to start as they wanted some separation to start. Krazz slipped on his own mask, looking a bit like a corvid with the beak design. It was a little flashy for porn, but it went well with Ember's mask. He hoped that he would get a shot with the human at some point as he had been attracted to her since they met at a party Vyz had invited him to.
Blix was busy strapping on his harness and cock ring. Fully prepared for taking over should the others struggle with any part of the scene. Of all of them he had the most experience performing for the camera, he knew the best angles, how to position himself, and all the tricks needed to not blow his load too quickly. Considering how hot the girls were in this scene, those were some tricks he was going to have to utilize.
Velasara came back looking an almost striking opposite of Ember. Her thigh highs were white with ruffles, her mask had white feathers and delicate gold filigree. She was taller than Ember with a lithe and delicate frame and soft features. Comparatively her body was a bit more slender when compared to Ember's more generous curves. The contrast made the pair enticing to look upon and the goblins in the room struggled to remain professional.
Ember leaned up and tugged Vela down to whisper in a long ear. The tittering laugh from the elf filld the room as both women seemed quite amused about something. It made Vyz a little suspicious and he hoped that this wasn’t going to be something he needed to worry about later.
“Ok, so here is the scene. I figure it will be easier if we don’t all start at first. I was thinking the girls could have a solo scene together or with one other person involved, then we can introduce some others, or if we are worried about time, then maybe we all just start? Opinions?” Vyz was looking around at the people gathered and realized how this looked. He hadn’t meant to only invite goblins, that was how it worked out. With all the cancellations and rescheduling, this was the group he ended up with and looking at it objectively, this would probably end up in a fetish category when released, even if there wasn’t a ton of kink involved.
“Well are you looking to build a plot or not? Like do we want to have dialog, a wisp of a story, or just get to the fucking already?” Ember asked as she leaned into Vela
“Good question, uh, any thoughts, I know we ain’t got a ton of time. I booked us for the rest of the day, but gettin shots set up can eat into that, and we don’t really have a script. I kinda wanted this ta feel natural, a bit more amateur and spontaneous.” Vyz admitted.
“Eh, speaking as the one with experience here. Neither are going to work. It is too late to try and fudge a script and just jumpin in is going to get someone injured. I say let the girls warm each other up, that should also warm the rest of us up and get the mood set. I can tell first timers when I see em and there are some nervous faces in this group.” Blix walked up to Vyz and gestured to the setting. “Plus, with a setting like this, it just screams lesbian porno. So why not start that way? Then we transition into the spit roasting, the group sex, multiple penetration shots, all of that.” He shrugged and his eyes widened. “Oh, condoms? We doing condoms or creampies?”
“Creampies” Vyz interjected. “That is why this took so long. Everyone had to test clean and have alternative forms of birth control. We can switch to condoms if anyone is still uncomfortable with sloppy seconds or had some questionable interactions since getting tested.”
“Ok so it seems like we are ready. Vela, after you.” Ember gestured to the bed and smiled as her elvish friend climbed up on the bed. Ember followed staying on her hands and knees while Vela got situated.
“What the fuck is that?” Blix blurted out and both girls fell into hysterical laughter.
It took several moments for them to calm down enough for Ember to speak. “I have some hangups where anal sex is involved. I felt the only way I would be able to relax is to ensure that it couldn’t happen, even accidentally. Thus, an anal plug.”
“Ok, yeah, I get it, makes perfect sense. What I meant, was why is it flashing like a rave?”
Ember fell over laughing again and just shook her head, it took her a bit to compose herself. “Look, it is a thing with me. I never do anything even halfway normal. You see my hair. My house look like a goth and a unicorn got into a fight. I like bright shiny things and honestly with the lights on it shouldn’t even be that noticeable or a distraction. I set it to slow strobe and match the lights hanging on the wall above the bed.”
“Ok, alright. One more question. Where did you get it and how much?” Blix was laughing and shrugging at the stares he was getting. “What? I wanna add one to my collection ok?”
“Let's talk after. I can give you all the details.” Ember slid up next to Vela and gave her friend a gentle kiss.
Both women were clearly nervous to start and Vyz knew that the first several minutes of footage probably wouldn’t be used. Watching them slowly explore each other was a different kind of arousing entirely, and it was difficult not to get caught up in the moment and just be content with watching. The slide of their bodies together, the soft moans, the way the colors of their limited clothing contrasted, it was a truly beautiful sight. One that Vyz was loathe to interrupt, but knew he would have to if they were going to get to the point of the scene.
The others held back waiting for Vyz to give the signal, It was hard not to be entranced, watching the women together. Especially once it was clear that they forgot where they were and were simply focused on the pleasure. Vyz held off a bit longer, watching with a slow smile as the women rocked slowly together at first, then sped up. The sound of their shared orgasm rang through the room snapping the goblins out of the spell they had been under.
Ember lay next to Vela, her breathing slowing to normal as they nuzzled and kissed each other. Hands still exploring as they enjoyed the afterglow of their shared pleasure. Ember would have to remember this, maybe invite Vela over sometime to just see how things might work out between them. Up until this moment Ember was certain her elvish friend was straight, maybe that was not the case now and it was something worth exploring, only later.
The bed shifted slightly as Vyz hopped up on the bed, crawling over to Ember and nipping her shoulder and neck. Pulling her gently and slowly to another part of the bed. The only way this would work was with a bit more space between the woman. Krazz was next on the bed, slipping up next to Vela and stroking over her sides and hip, his hands slipping up to her breast, fingertips teasing over her nipple.
Riz and Blix joined Krazz by the elf, all of their touches light. Wanting to start slow, ease into it. Viz, was the last to join, slipping up next to Ember and Vyz, nuzzling at the human’s ample chest. Everything was slow to start, no one wanting to be the first to break the soft moment that had somehow been created. Vyz was the first to lose his battle with desire and pushed Ember onto her stomach, slipping a pillow under her hips and angling her face away from him.
It was simply impossible to resist her, the scent of her, the sight of her, Vyzzie buried his face against her nether lips and pushed his tongue in, tasting her depths. Lips crooked up in a half smile at the sound of her moans suddenly being muffled. He didn’t have to look to know what had just happened and he was excited at how much Ember seemed to be enjoying it. Cutting his oral exploration short, Vyzzie lifted up and angled himself behind her, pushing his hard cock against her slick opening. She was so wet, so much wetter than he had expected and found it was far easier to slide in that usual.
While the flashing light was a bit of a distraction, Vyz found it easier and easier to ignore the deeper he slid into Ember until he was balls deep and groaning. His claws dug into her skin as his control slipped for just a moment and he had to pause before thrusting. His ears twitched at the sounds coming from the other end of the bed and he risked a glance over at the elf. The sight was almost enough for him to lose it right there and he had to snap his gaze back down to Ember.
Vela was up on her knees, Riding Riz, with Blix behind her, and Krazz standing with a firm grip on her head as he thrust into her mouth. Blix was still gently preparing her with some lube and a finger while he encouraged Riz with a quiet voice to keep a slow pace and to gently stimulate her clit. Blix knew that increasing the elfs pleasure was going to keep her relaxed and make penetration much easier. The extra lube helped as well and he wanted to make sure that she was fully ready before even attempting penetration. His experience was why he was the one handling preparing her and subsequently the one to be granted the pleasure of having her that way.
Viz was careful, his hands resting on Ember’s head more than holding it as he thrust into her mouth. He was originally going to let her set the pace, and at first he did, but found that it just felt too good and he could not resist the urge to move his hips. He was focused, entirely on her and how it felt to be so far in her mouth and pushing into her throat. The feeling was unlike any other he had experienced, as this was his first time really trying anything with a human. He had a preference for orcish women, but now he wasn’t so sure that would be the case going forward. There was something softer, sweeter, more delicate about a human and he was eager to have his turn with the elf as well.
Ember’s eyes rolled back in her head as Vyz snapped his hips forward hitting that spot so deep that only he ever seemed to hit just right. The feel of someone both in her throat and fucking her was becoming overwhelming. It was everything she had wanted from this experience and a little more. She could tell Viz was going easy on her, and she tried to encourage him when he began thrusting into her mouth. Closing her eyes she swallowed around him, letting her throat constrict around the head of his cock making him moan. It clearly worked to erode at his control as his hips snapped forward suddenly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, his expression was one of slight concern. She just nodded, hoping he understood.
It was pure heaven when Viz finally took the hint that she could handle it and threaded his fingers tighter in her hair, getting a good grip and tugging as he pushed his cock deeper into her throat. She was no longer giving him a blowjob, he was fucking her face, and her moans got louder and louder as she drew closer to release. The feel of her friend fucking her so hard and deep, his balls slapping against her clit as his sharp claws left little pinpricks of pain in her hips increased the sense of euphoria washing over her. Ember slipped into a more relaxed state, letting her body go slightly limp so that she could more easily be penetrated by both goblins. Soon her nose was pressed into the dark curls above Viz’s shaft as she felt his cock swell in her throat. A loud sharp moan from above her and the sudden heat in her throat let her know the goblin had reached climax.
Rope after rope of cum was pumped into her throat as Viz pulled out, some of his seed coating her mouth and lips, some hitting the mask as he fell back panting, clearly worried that he was choking her. With her airway free Ember could be better heard as she also reached climax almost the same time as Vyz did inside of her. The combined pleasure of dual penetration and stimulation was more than enough to send Ember over the edge hard. Vyz hunched over her back as he found his own release.
Vela was on edge as well with Krazz thrusting more firmly into her mouth while Blix had slowly pushed inside of her. The feeling over all her holes being filled was one she had never thought she would enjoy and was now worried she would become addicted to. Somehow Riz and Blix found a Rhythm that kept almost constant stimulation within her, an almost overwhelming sensation as she was filled beyond anything she had ever experienced before. Surprisingly Vela was the first to reach release, easily, as Riz had continued stimulating her clit while she rode him. Since they were not closed to finished, the goblins did not stop and continued to fuck the elf right through her first orgasm.
Blix helped Riz by taking over the clitoral stimulation so the other goblin could get a better grip on the elf to thrust deeper and faster up into her. Krazz kept his movements slow, despite wanting to just let go. He wanted to keep an eye on her to ensure that she remained ok, and he wanted to draw this out as much as possible. Vela was well on her way towards a second orgasm when Riz thrust up hard into her with a loud cry, his body shaking slightly as he emptied his seed inside of her. He could tell that Blix would probably be next and helped by reaching up and teasing Vela’s nipples to see if he could send the elf over the edge again.
Vela came almost at the same time as Blix who had snarled as he finally came, almost biting her and stopping himself at the last minute as he just pressed his forehead against her back and rode out his own pleasure while pumping his cum deep inside of her. The contractions of her body milking him for every drop he had as his grip on her remained tight. Krazz was the last to release, finally letting himself go and speeding up, pushing almost his full length into her throat with a loud cry. He almost fell over from the intense pleasure as he had unintentionally edged himself for the last bit of it.
Carefully the goblins pulled out of their partners and all that could be heard was the sound of light panting and breathing normalizing. Vyz was the first one to speak. “Ok swap? Who wants to swap.”
Krazz raised his hand. “I call your position.” The others laughed at how quickly he responded.
Blix shook his head. “I am good where I am if there are no complaints?”
“Nah, I’m good, I’ll swap.” Riz offered. “Unless you want to stay with Ember Vyz?”
“That would put you and your brother on the same girl, that ok?”
“I don’t care, as long as our balls don’t touch it ain’t gay right?” Viz offered as a joke, he new that gay wasn’t the problem in that scenario, but it wouldn’t be the first time they had shared.
Ember lost it a little bit at that and then so did Vela. The boys had to wait for the giggling to die down before new positions could be achieved. Krazz rolled Ember onto her side, moving the pillow.
“This ok?” He asked before positioning her leg up on his shoulder.
Ember nodded and tilted her head up at Vyzzie. She had expected him to take a turn with Vela, and maybe he would, the night was young and there was no reason that they wouldn’t swap positions a few more times, especially with some of the ideas Vyz had shared with her during planning. He was smiling at her, stroking her hair away from her mask and carefully wiping the cum from it. Ember realized, from the look in his eyes that they might need to have a conversation later. It was clear an attachment might be forming and she just wasn’t ready for another relationship. Something she hoped wouldn’t ruin the friendship they already had. Glancing down she could see the eager look in Krazz’s eyes as he gazed down at her, positioning himself against her cum soaked folds. Ok, strike that, maybe a conversation with Vyz could happen after she got him and Krazz alone sometime and had them fuck her absolutely senseless. She had a feeling this was going to be a bit of a wild ride and while she still could she glanced over to see Vela being re positioned, clear glee on her friends face, even with the mask there was no missing that expression.
The night was filled with the sounds of moans as the group quickly forgot the cameras and worked on trying as many different positions and combinations as they could before eventually collapsing in and exhausted heap and snuggling up together before the staff gently reminded them that closing time was less than an hour away.
Overall, the experience had been one that wouldn’t be easily forgotten and new friends had been made from the most unlikely of scenarios. They all agreed that this was something they would like to try again, maybe with a script and more elaborate costumes, but that was a conversation for a later date when everyone was clean and well rested.
#exophilia#goblin boyfriend#goblin x human#goblin x elf#human x elf#Auchendale Archives#Kinktober 2020
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Random Season 4 Wishes
Here is a random list of things I want to see in season 4 in no particular order. Some of these are more like predictions than wishes, but at this point, any prediction made is just a wish.
A break from all out romance. The romance wasn’t really handled all that great last season. Other than the looming monster danger, it was the forefront of season 3. I would like a return to a season 1/season 2 formula where while there is still romance, it is never the focus. Stranger Things excels with subtle tender moments and meaningful physical contact.
Character growth over character drama. Another issue season 3 had is too much conflict between character. Hardly any of it really contributed to character growth. The only character growth to be seen is Mike being a little less clingy and El being a little more independent. Nothing else noticeably changed, not on screen. Conflict is important... but it should be pushing our character forward, not locking them in place.
Recapture the importance of family. Our cast has been divided in two. The Byers + El are somewhere new while the others stayed behind in Hawkins. This leaves an excellent opportunity to revisit old threads long forgotten. I would love to see Nancy and Mike actually interacting. Not just one conversation or exchanging a glance. Full out brother and sister duo. I feel similarly about Jonathan with his own family. I would like to see a plot where all the Byers + El are in it together.
Return of Kali. Kali, I feel, is a very important piece of El. While season 3 would have us forget her influence of El, I hope next season doesn’t completely ignore her presence. It would be interesting if Kali’s prediction comes true, that no matter where she hides or who she’s with, “they” will never let her live in peace or have a normal life. Not because I want harm to come to El, but because I don’t for a second believe the government is done with her or the other experimented children.
Proper strategist Michael Wheeler and proper action man Lucas Sinclair. I would like to see the return of the strategist Mike who always seems to have a plan and can get everyone on the same page. In season 3, he was fumbling around distracted. I feel normally, Mike would have set a trap for the Mind Flayer or would’ve formulated a proper plan to escape the mall or the cabin. In Lucas’s case, they did ok with him in season 3 actually, but it was really out of character for him to freeze up while El was being choked out. I want to see a more forward athletic Lucas.
Will to make new friends. In season 3, we saw at least 2 of the 4 boys interests changing drastically and the other was all too eager to go off and hang around new people. Given Will’s situation (new town, new house, new school, distant old friends), I’d like to see Will gain some new friendships. That’s not to say he’d drop the old ones. They’re the OG after all. But, before all the drama of next season picks up, it would be nice to see Will being happy and acknowledged by new friends.
US Government becoming a threat again. Personally, I did not enjoy the Russian plot. Everything seemed like a joke. When the US government were the bad guys, everything felt more dangerous and dire. You never knew who was listening. Who was watching. What would happen if they found El or if they would hurt the boys and their families. Next season, I feel they could make the Russians feel like as much of a threat as the US government if both governments are clashing and in a race to the bottom. By that, I mean the government should become a major foe again racing against the Russian government to do bad things. Open a gate? Control a demogorgon? Allow the Mind Flayer in again? Both these governments should screw up equally.
A slow return of El’s powers. I want El to get her powers back, but I want it to be a slow daunting process. It’s like she starts back at square one. She can move and pick up small things, but even that has taken her months. She’s stuck between being seemingly normal with no powers, but also missing the power she once had.
Casual power training. As we know, Will is really into comics. El might be too since Max introduced her to them. A classic of comics is the super hero training to regain their strength or to become stronger. It would be really interesting if Will contributed to El slowly regaining her powers by setting up obstacles and challenges just for her. Maybe on the weekends, he designs a building and she must use wooden blocks/legos to make it with her powers. Or, build a house of cards. A game of darts using powers only. A game of catch. (I was going to say Jenga, but it looks like that didn’t get released in the US until 1987) Anything Will can creatively come up with that he thinks will help her regain her strength. (whether it does or not is up for debate) It’s mostly casual fun. Some bonding opportunities. Who doesn’t enjoy training the hero/super hero? (basically, it’s roleplay)
Will’s power expanded. I am writing a proper theory page on Will’s/the Byers’s powers, but let me explain exactly what I mean here. It’s clear Will has powers, but they severely limited them in season 3. Examples:
Instead of only sensing the Mind Flayer when it’s nearby, he should be able to close his eyes, concentrate, and locate the center of activity
Will should have great insight into the Mind Flayer’s intentions even if it’s just honest guesses on what the Mind Flayer wants and what he’s trying to do (like in season 2)
Will’s danger senses should happen immediately, not delayed like we saw in the hospital or in the mall. He should be able to tell the Mind Flayer is coming for them from miles away or even across dimensions.
Will should retain true sight, the ability to see into the Upside Down. A dangerous ability to be sure, but can be useful if we’re going to have gates popping in and out around the world like what’s been implied.
Karen possibly discovering the truth. Honestly, Season 1 Karen is such a good mom. And in season 3, that discussion with Nancy was superb and beautiful. I would love for Karen to learn a little more what her two eldest kids have been up to. If not that, I’d like for her to at least give more guidance to her kids. I’d like for Nancy and Mike to vaguely come to her for advice and she’d grant it, no questions asked. (ok, Karen used to be very nosy so maybe she does ask questions, but takes a step back and respects their privacy)
Joyce to be believed right away. I honestly do not understand why people doubt Joyce, you know? She’s been right 3 years in a row now (Nancy too). I swear if anyone questions her intuition next season, she should give them her classic Joyce sneer until they realize how silly they’re being. In order of “alarm bells”, I think it will go like Will >> El >> Joyce >> Jonathan in quick succession. All 4 family members should be very sensitive to weird things as this point.
Jonathan gets a plot. I want to see things from Jonathan’s perspective again. After season 1, we’ve barely gotten anything. I want to see Jonathan putting forth plans or leading the charge, at least for a little while. There is a great opportunity for this next season since he’s the man of the house about to graduate from high school if he hasn’t already. (*sobs remembering Will is taller than him now, officially). Heck, if we want to switch around the order of “alarm bells”, maybe Jonathan becomes alert of something wrong before Joyce does this time.
Less product placement. In season 1/season 2, there was product placement, but that was because they were really setting the scene. It was 1983. This is what products used to be like. This is what was popular at the time. But season 3? They cranked that dial up 2000% when they didn’t need to. It really made it feel less serious and set in reality. Don’t dare use Lucas to spit out a damned Coke ad ever again.
Genuine friendship moments. I’ve mentioned this earlier, but with less romantic drama and stuff, I’d like to see genuine friendships return. The El and Max friendship was great and all, but it’s really a shame it was so heavily focused on Mike. I hope in the future, these two girls are able to share screentime without the boys being mentioned or thought about. Same with the guys, it would be nice if they could hang out like before without splitting off into pairs or focusing entirely on their romantic lives. They don’t really feel like a friend group anymore, just a group of double dates (hence why I’d like for Will to make friends outside the original group.)
Proper use of the supernatural. Season 3 was weak when it came to the Mind Flesher imo. They had this whole idea of the Flayed who seemed to be totally normal (and sweaty) just walking around town living their lives until a flip was switched. Whyyyyy in the world weren’t they used to try to get at our cast? The only time they did it was in the hospital, but we saw dozens and dozens of people who could’ve served the same purpose except it could happen anywhere. Maybe there were other ‘patients’ in the waiting room that also turned on the kids that they had to fight off? Maybe strange people came to all their houses trying to find them or break in? They could’ve gone full creepy like season 1/2 but they didn’t. I’d like to see them fully use the horror aspects next season.
That’s what I got off the top of my head.
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Hi guys! This has a title now (“Holloa”) instead of just being “Evillustrator vs Lila”. It is also up on A03 because people kept asking to be added to a tag list and I am horrible at remembering to do that. Don’t forget about the Masterpost if you would rather stick to tumblr! I keep it up to date.
I really don't like the first part of this chapter, but I needed to get Adrien back in the action SOMEHOW.
An honor duel is only valid if both parties have honor. Otherwise, it is just an excuse to beat someone's ass.
Masterpost of all Chapters
The first thing Adrien noticed when he woke up was how hard the action was. Regaining consciousness was like trying to swim upwards with weights on his legs. Forcing his eyes open the boy lay in his bed, wondering how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembered was coming home, father being furious, and being dismissed to dinner.
“Plagg?” He called, slowly levering himself up. Weak light was filtering in through his large windows. If the sun was just setting, he couldn’t have been asleep for more than a few hours. Which was good since he needed to meet Ladybug, Marinette, and search for Volpina. Then he saw the time on his alarm clock: 6:14 AM.
“Plagg?!” He called again, anxiety creeping down his spine. Something wasn’t right. Even dead exhausted he never slept through his alarm, which he would have set for certain last night. Except he didn’t even remember getting to bed so maybe he didn’t. Running his thumb over his ring in a nervous gesture, Adrien froze. Where was his ring?
Adrien frantically tore the covers off his bed, shaking them out with more energy than he had, before doing the same to the sheets. Nothing. Where else could the ring possibly be? He was dressed in the same outfit as yesterday (another seriously red flag, a model did NOT sleep in his clothes) so the laundry was out. Maybe he had dropped it in the dining room? Adrien hurried to his door, flinging it open only to run head first into his bodyguard.
“Oh, yaaaay! You’re awake!” Huh? Adrien thought, staring dumbfounded at the fondly nicknamed ‘Gorilla’. The man stared back silently.
“We’ve been sooooo worried ever since Panther and Hawkmoth left! They said you would wake up HOURS ago! Why did you have to sleep so long, I really wanted to finally meet you!” A deep blue kwami zipped around him excitedly.
“You’re a kwami!” Adrien said, shocked. How had his bodyguard gotten a miracu-wait. Back up. Had the kwami said Hawkmoth had been there?
“Yes! I’m Dusu! Very nice to finally meet you! Mayura and Paon talked about you a lot but would neeeever let me meet you! So mean!” He sobbed. Adrien’s bodyguard, whose actual name was Samson, patted the little creature gently on the head.
“You’re Mayura’s Kwami? You said HAWKMOTH was here? Who is Paon? What is going on?!” Adrien questioned in rapid succession. What in the world WAS going on? Hawkmoth having his miraculous explained where it had gone, but how had Samson gotten the peacock? How had Hawkmoth and Mayura gotten into his house? Was his father ok? Samson didn’t look concerned, but if he was working for Hawkmoth…
“I was! Samson is my holder now because Mayura is using the cat miraculous.” Samson grunted, not looking too thrilled at the prospect. “Keep Adrien safe! Hawkmoth said before they left, and that’s what we’re going to do!” Both kwami and holder nodded. The contrast between them was like night and day. Dusu was so energetic where Samson was solemn.
“Dusu, please. How did Hawkmoth get in here?” Adrien tried to get the hyper kwami to focus.
“He lives here, silly!” Dusu laughed, flying around his head. “Oh, I’m so happy to meet Paon’s chick! She would never let me play with you!” Hawkmoth lived here? In Adrien’s house? Old suspicions crept up like slime sliding down his spine. No. He had proven his father was not Hawkmoth. He couldn’t be, he had been akumatized! Hawkmoth couldn’t akumatize himself...could he? Why not, whispered a treacherous part of his brain, Chatnoir could cataclysm himself if he wasn’t careful. Miraculous holders were not immune to their own powers. His father was Hawkmoth. Adrien couldn’t breathe.
“Ohh! Are you ok? You sound wheezy. Did you forget how to breathe? Here I’ll help! And breathe in! And breathe out! And breathe in-!” Dusu cheered as Samson steadied Adrien. The blond boy barely noticed. Everything felt numb. The super villain who had been terrorizing Paris was his father. Yesterday when Hawkmoth had been talking about his mother he had thought the man had just been saying things to get to him. The Agrestes were celebrities in the fashion world. His mother’s disappearance had not gone unnoticed. Anyone who followed fashion news would know of it, but Hawkmoth had said they could bring her back like he had known where she was. He had said ‘a life for a life’. Adrien really did not like the implications of that.
“Dusu,” Adrien panted, trying to get his breathing under control. Was this what a panic attack felt like? It was awful. “My mother. Do you know anything about my mother? Do you know what happened to her?”
“Of course I know her, she was Paon! I miss her a lot, we helped a lot of people, even you!” Dusu zipped back and forth. “Paon didn’t want to be public like you and Ladybug, but she sent amoks to protect people, or cheer them up. There was even a time we traveled to the aftermath of an earthquake and sent amoks to rescue people! It was so much fun, much more than how Mayura used me.” Dusu sighed, deflating. “My miraculous is broken though, it hurts my wielder over time. She was going to give me up, but then you got really sick. The doctors said something was wrong with your heart, you were gonna die! So she stayed up for two days straight and concentrated reeeeeealllly hard and made her strongest amok ever! It’s still here.” Dusu said, patting Adrien on the chest. Adrien remembered being really sick right before his mother had disappeared. He had had to stay in the hospital for a short time, before making a miraculous recovery. His father told him he had had a bad case of the flu. There was something wrong with his heart? There was an amok inside him, keeping him alive? This was all too much to process.
“But what happened to my mother?” Adrien deliberately took another breath, trying to regain some calm. Samson was helpfully rubbing his back.
“Ooh, well, the effort of making your amok was too much strain. She’s in a coma, trying to heal. Hawkmoth wants to used the Ladybug and Cat miraculous to heal her. He’s so devoted to her.” Dusu began to cry again.
“A coma? So she’s not dead?” Adrien questioned, feeling a small sliver of hope. “If we use the miraculous, she’ll wake up? No one has to die?” Dusu shrugged.
“Using the Ladybug and Cat to make a wish always has a price. You never really know what it’s going to be before you have to pay it, but it has to be something equal. What that means varies from wish to wish. I know Hawkmoth told you you could use some random person as a sacrifice, but you can’t guarantee that. The entity chooses, not you.” Dusu said, serious for the first time since Adrien had met him. “Norro and I have tried to persuade Hawkmoth to look to other means to heal her, she’s not dead so there ARE other possibilities, but with the miraculous right here...he won't listen.” The kwami looked troubled.
Adrien mulled that over. He meant what he said yesterday, he missed his mother and would gladly make a sacrifice to have her back, but he knew she would never accept trading her life for someone else's. From what Dusu had said, the life being traded may be his father’s. His father may be willing to pay that price, but Adrien knew his mother was not and despite how distant he had been since his mother’s disappearance, Adrien didn’t want to lose his father too. If Hawkmoth’s wish failed, he could lose both of them. He was selfish. He couldn’t bear that. He needed his miraculous back.
“Dusu, do you know where Hawkmoth is keeping my miraculous?” The kwami huffed and wagged a finger.
“Mayura has it, she’s Panther now, and you are not getting it back! It’s too dangerous for little chicks outside right now!” Samson nodded in agreement. “There are akuma everywhere by now!”
“Then that’s all the reason for me to get my miraculous back! Ladybug needs Chatnoir!” Not more than you need her, the stressed part of his brain whispered. He tried to ignore it. “If I need a miraculous to get my miraculous, give me the peacock!” Dusu puffed up, fanning his feathers in preparation to argue, but Samson stopped him. The large man and kwami stared at each other for a long time, having some sort of silent conversation. Finally, Dusu deflated, the loser of the argument.
“Ok. I guess one transformation wont hurt you too bad. If you really need to do this Adrien, Plumage will help you until you get your ring back.” Dusu sighed. “Paon would never forgive me if I let her chick get hurt.”
“Plumage?” Adrien questioned.
“Dusu, spread my feathers.” Holy crap Samson could talk.
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“Penknight! On your left!” Queenbee watched the akuma slice the insect kind of akuma out of the air as Rena Rouge dived to save the newly cured victim. She would NEVER admit it out loud, but his ability to destroy akuma was very useful since Ladybug was still out looking for allies. The fox holder was currently the only one to have shown up. The time limit Ladybug had set was nearly over. It looked like they may not be getting any more help.
Help they sorely needed. For every person they cured, another three akuma took their place. Dozens of akuma Queenbee had never even seen before rushed them, all various combinations of eerie red. The newscast this morning had been truly devastating. Honestly, what were those idiot reporters thinking! Showing something like THAT to a city where anyone who got mildly upset could become a super villain? It was like they were TRYING to help Hawkmoth. Utterly ridiculous.
“Queenbee, look out!” She felt her breath whoosh out as something grabbed her around the middle and yanked her back just moments before a line of spikes would have hit her. Retriever pounced on the porcupine\octopus creature that had attacked her while Queenbee slapped Stardust’s crook away.
“Keep your glitter to yourself, sparkles. I shine brightly enough on my own without getting your tacky dust on me.” She hmphed. Stardust rolled his eyes before using his crook to hook an akuma out of the air as they tried to divebomb the two. A quick snap of her top sent a butterfly fluttering out of a pair of aviator goggles. Penknight cackled with manic glee as he sliced the butterfly in two, before hopping backwards to avoid a flailing tentacle from the porcupine squid thing. The akuma was clearly getting some sort of malicious enjoyment from destroying the other akumas. Queenbee understood, sort of. There was nothing more satisfying than proving yourself better than your competition, but she also thought the akuma was only having fun because he got to swing his sword around and show off for Stardust. Men.
“Ugh. I cannot believe you are attracted to that. Honey, you can do so much better.” She meant it. Seeing someone as pretty as Marc pining for someone as nerdy as Nathaniel was a travesty. Pretty people just did not settle for less than the best. That’s what her mother had always said. It didn’t matter how nice a boy’s shoulders looked if his clothes came out of a second hand bin, and don’t even get her started on Kurtzberg’s hair. Had the boy ever heard of conditioner before? The spikey mess of his akuma form was almost an upgrade.
“Says the girl who keeps eyeing his backside.” Rena Rouge snickered, helping Viperion wrestle a compact Picasso horror to the ground.
“Hmph! I am obviously just noting all the flaws in that garish coat. How could anyone look away from such an insult to fashion? Not that I would expect someone who thinks frosted tips is still a trendy hairstyle to understand.” If Ladybug could return already so they could get around to hunting down Scarlet Hawkmoth that would be great. The team was trading banter to try and keep their spirits up, one of them getting akumatized would be game over, but the battle was taking its toll. There just seemed to be no end to the waves of vermilion drenched akuma.
“It’s ok Queenbee, Penknight does have a very eye catching...coat.” Stardust had the nerve to laugh at her. She dismissed him with a flick of her hand and used her top to try and help Retriever get the akuma she had been fighting to hold still long enough to find its akumatized object. This would be SO much easier if any of them could use their powers, but with the time limit they were all reduced to brawling like common street thugs. This was utterly beneath Queenbee.
“So the race traitor continues to terrorize innocent akuma. Fear not, my flock! Your Shepard will protect you!” Ugh, speaking of things that were beneath her. The akuma horde backed away as Shepard leapt down from a nearby building. Curiously, there was no red on him at all. Even more curious the previously chaotic akuma seemed to be obeying him, neatly stepping out of the way when ordered. Interesting.
“I challenge you to one on one combat!” Shepard declared, dramatically pointing his weapon at Penknight. “When I win, you WILL turn the human you have been consorting with over to me!” The red akumas circled the heroes, silent, creating a battle ring of sorts while also trapping them inside. Penknight didn’t seem concerned.
“You’re that asshole from the hospital arn’t you?” Penknight asked, looking disgusted.
“My adversary recognizes me! Now face me you-what are you doing?” Penknight had turned his sword back into a drawing tablet and was cracking his knuckles.
“I’m going to enjoy this.” Penknight chuckled darkly, before leaping at the wolf headed akuma and ripping the staff out of his hands before the other could even react. The next few minutes consisted mainly of Shepard screaming while Penknight beat him with his own weapon. None of the scarlet akuma moved to interfere, watching silently.
“This is wrong, we should stop him.” Stardust ventured nervously. Viperion stopped him with a hand on his shoulder when he tried to step forward to interfere.
“Let Penknight have his fun, we need the break. Akuma are pretty hardy. Shepard isn’t being hurt nearly as bad as it sounds.” Viperion said, rubbing at his own shoulders. The snake hero had been transformed longer than any of them and welcomed the respite.
“Besides, you didn’t hear what that douche was saying at the hospital. He’s getting what he deserves.” Rena Rouge muttered darkly. Viperion gave her an appraising look at that, looking like a lightbulb had gone off but didn’t comment.
“Um, guys?” Retriever asked hesitantly, pointing to a nearby rooftop where Penknight had dragged the other akuma. Penknight hoisted Shepard over his head like Quasimodo and Esmeralda declaring sanctuary, but the look on his face suggested more malicious intentions.
“Ok now we stop him.” Viperion said running for the building.
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Ladybug snatched another akuma out of the air with her yoyo. Carapace helped the now cured victim to their feet as the purified butterfly fluttered away. Other than Rena Rouge, he had been the only other hero she had been able to find. The two of them had been trying to make their way to the larger battle raging in the distance for sometime now, but kept getting side tracked by stray akuma also heading for the battle. There was no doubt the bulk of them were fighting the larger group of heroes, but there were enough stragglers to present a problem.
“Ladybug!” What now, she sighed internally as someone other than Carapace called out to her. When she turned to address the speaker, she would have been shocked if she still had her emotions. Riding on the shoulders of a large blue akuma was Adrien. She should feel relieved to see him, elated even, but with Reverser’s power still in place she felt nothing. Logically she knew this should distress her but the lack of feeling was freeing in its own way. She hadn’t been this free of stress since she became Ladybug.
“Drop him!” Carapace ordered, squaring off against the blue akuma.
“Whoa, It’s ok Carapace! He’s a friend. This is Plumage, he’s not an akuma. He’s using the Peacock miraculous.” Adrien explained, sliding to the ground. Ladybug appraised the new arrival again. The hulking man wore a deep blue suit that nearly blended into his blue skin. Cascading over a blue headband and almost to the ground were hundreds of peacock feathers instead of hair. A gigantic version of Mayura’s fan was strapped to his back, almost as large as he was. His appearance was very simple and no nonsense.
“It is good to see you are alright, Adrien. I was worried.” She had been. Before. “Why have you come out here? The streets are dangerous.” Adrien paused at her flat tone, eyeing the various kwami floating around her.
“Ladybug, are you...all right? You sound strange.” He asked.
“She was affected by an akuma power that sealed her emotions.” Longg answered for her. “Considering the circumstances of the past few hours, Ladybug decided to leave the alteration in place for the time being to prevent from being akumatized.” The dragon kwami looked like he disapproved of the choice.
“I was wondering about that...but never mind! Adrien, dude! Ladybug is right, it is way too dangerous out here for you to be out and about. Go home man.” Carapace said. Adrien shook his head.
“I can help. This is all my fault, I want to- I need to help fix it.” The determination in his eyes briefly sparked something in Ladybug before Reverser’s alteration suppressed it. She wondered what it was.
“How could this all be your fault?” Carapace asked, puzzled.
“Well…” Adrien glanced at Ladybug, seemingly asking her permission.
“It doesn’t matter who knows now that Hawkmoth does. Adrien was Chatnoir. Hawkmoth took his ring.” She said, turning away from them to stare searchingly in the direction the larger battle had been raging. Everything had gone quiet. That could not be a good sign.
“Dude.” Said Carapace, stunned.
“He did take my ring, but in doing so he showed his hand. I know who he is Ladybug.” She turned to face him, many different emotions being negated as fast as they could rise. Did they have a face for their nemesis after all this time? This was the best news she had heard in a long time. The various kwami chattered excitedly around her. Ladybug inclined her head, silently asking Adrien to continue. He took a deep breath as if gathering strength.
“Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste. My Father.”
#miraculous ladybug#nathaniel kurtzberg#Ladybug#Viperion#Chloe bourgeois#marc anciel#adrien agreste#Holloa#queen bee
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Ambition, Butter, and Wine -Chapter 6
Ambition, Butter, and Wine- Kylo Ren x plus sized reader. Crack! Fic. You’re a new First Order recruit. Trained in the culinary arts at the top schools and they dare make you serve the common folk. What happens when you have the opportunity to serve Lord Ren?
Master List / Previous Chapter
Chapter 6
Blaster training was boring. All they had to shoot at was little holographic moving targets, you weren’t even shooting at an object. On top of which it had been several weeks since the little excursion you took with Lord Ren and since then you hadn’t said more than a few words to the man.
He had been working on something and seemed more irritable than normal, which you thought was an impossibility. You tried to make some of his favorites but got little more than a grunt when you would set it in front of him, usually without him even looking up from his datapad. Without the little bit of human interaction with him, it left you pretty isolated. That wasn’t a real big problem for you, but you did like to have someone to talk to sometimes.
The only time you saw anyone was when you went to stock up on ingredients and most of the time you went late in the evenings. At some point a rumor started circulating of your demise. Kylo Ren supposedly killed you in a rage, dragged you out to the woods where he cut you into little bitty pieces and left you there. You didn’t hear the rumor first hand until after you ran across a stormtrooper during rounds who shouted “Ghost!” and ran the other direction.
Becoming a ghost when you died always appealed to you, so what if you weren’t dead, it still sounded fun. Other than cooking a couple of meals and doing blaster practice, you didn’t have much to do, so you requested some white fabric and some make up that was a few shades lighter than your actual skin tone. Wandering down the halls with scraps of fabric and lighter make up after midnight was more fun than you’d realize it would be. Some troopers you passed just chuckled at your antics, others...mainly officers, gave a disapproving glare. The best were the ones that would run screaming down the halls. It was worth the little extra time getting ready in the evenings.
Lord Ren had called you to his quarters late one evening to talk about your blaster practice. The scores you were getting were being sent to his data files so he was keeping up with your non existent improvements. You had already changed into your ghost wear when the order came in, so you hightailed it the short walk to his quarters, not wanting to keep him waiting. He was still in his uniform even this late at night and you were disappointed, hoping you would see him in his pjs since you hadn’t at dinner. You also took into account the dark circles running under his eyes.
The door opened for you as you got near and when he turned to address you he stuttered to a stop mid sentence. After a brief pressure to your head, where he flipped through your mind like a book, he continued on as if nothing was amiss.
“You haven’t improved at all. I’m adding another two hours to your training time, as you obviously need more to fill it, and upping the difficulty. If I don’t see any improvements there will be consequences.”
“But it’s so boring.” You pout.
“Well let’s see how bored you be next week when we’re on another planet with hostiles all around.”
“Next week? What planet?”
“Yes we are leaving the base in four days. I don’t know yet, but I will. We have to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice.”
“Yes sir.”
“Dismissed.”
You turn to walk back out the door before he calls your name. “Oh, and just for a side bit of information, Hux should be leaving the command center any moment now.”
His eyes bore into yours and you understood his double meaning. A wide grin formed on your lips and a laugh was released as you made your way in the direction of the command center.
Hux ruined your fun after you scared him half to death, the look on his face was worth it and you replayed it for Lord Ren on a loop as many times as he wished. Hux had made an announcement that you were very much alive and to ignore you dressed in white. It was fun while it lasted and got you through the next few days before you boarded the starship.
Your quarters were tighter than on base and ingredients were limited. If the two of you were on the ship for more than a month you would have to get very creative with your cooking and making gourmet meals out of trooper rations.
Lord Ren had told you on the flight from the base to the starship that he still wasn’t satisfied with your current blaster skills. He had warned you of consequences but hadn’t explicitly told you what those would be, that gave you more dread than if you were waiting on actual torture. As you were still unpacking into your newly designated space, you rub your forehead with your fingertips as you remember the tone in his voice when he was telling you how poorly you’d done. Ok so maybe the ‘tone’ was all in your head since he still had that damnable mask on, but it felt like a tone.
He had apparently found what he was looking for because the day after you boarded, the ship took off out of orbit. You could tell a bit of weight was taken off his shoulders as well. He was still tense but with a purpose.
A plate of eggs and sausage was in your hand as you go through his doorway. Similar layout as what was on Starkiller base, maybe a touch smaller overall. You sit the plate down at the table and you are surprised when he walks out of the bedroom in full gear, normally waiting until after breakfast to change.
“After lunch I will be personally supervising your blaster training.” He tells you sitting down and picking up his fork. “Give it your all as you will be coming down to the surface with me tomorrow.”
“Surface?”
“Yes we will be arriving at 900 hours tomorrow, although it will be night on that planets timeline. I’m bringing three trooper squads and you. Don’t die.”
“How many days are we being deployed?” Thinking about how much you would need to pack.
“Only for a few hours, maybe less.”
“Then why am I going?”
“You’ve never been in a real battle before, correct?” You shake your head. “This will be a good test run to see how you do. See real stakes. Maybe from now on you will be a bit more disciplined when I tell you to learn something.”
You open your mouth to give a retort but he cuts it off with a look. “Yes sir.” Is what you change it to, but you can’t help but run it over in your mind. He’s putting you deliberately in harms way to test your training. You try to hide how annoyed you are as you leave his quarters.
“You won’t be in harm's way.” You freeze in shock. There hadn’t been any sort of pressure before he answered your question, you knew he was getting better at reading you. “It’s mostly villagers with few weapons and you’ll stand by me the entire time.” He paused and his voice changed to a hard simmer. “Also, if I ever hear you truly doubt or question my orders again, whether it is outloud or in your head, you’ll find you will be desperate to not make that same mistake twice. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes sir.” The meek little noise barely registering. A surge of curiosity rushes through you as you register what he actually said. ‘But banter and genuine inquiries are acceptable?’ You thought at him.
He sighed loudly and ran his hand through his hair, tugging on it a bit in frustration. Not looking up at you he ground out, “Depends on my mood.”
“Understood.” With that you turned on your heel and walked out.
Your heart had just calmed down from that morning’s threat over breakfast when it was time to serve lunch. Additional blaster practice with Lord Ren was supposed to happen after so you took his plate of food into his quarters along with your own.
Lord Ren was sitting in a lounge chair with a datapad in his lap when the doors came open. He was mildly surprised when you walked in with two plates of food and sat at the table beside his usual spot.
“What do you think you are doing?” He asked as he sat down at the table.
“You said you would be doing a personal lesson with me after lunch, I thought this would be more efficient then one of us having to wait for the other to finish. That way you could get back to trying to take over the galaxy or whatever.” Picking up a fork and digging into your food.
Another heavy sigh escapes him as he watches you for a moment before doing the same. It’s of course good but more simple than you usually fix. Just a pasta salad and seared chicken in some sort of sauce. He finishes before you and sits impatiently while waiting for you to finish your food. Somehow you started with a smaller portion but took twice as long to eat it.
Once you finished you went to take the plates from the table, but he just told you to leave it for the cleaning droids. He lead you to a small room on portside that was similar to one of the shooting ranges on base. Starkiller was a giant carnivorous room that housed lots of different weapons training, but you could shut yourself into one lane so as not to have anyone disturb you. This was only a single room that seemed to be only equipped to handle small weapon practice.
Lord Ren had pulled on his mask before leaving his quarters so you couldn’t see his expression as he fiddled with the controls. Setting it up on probably the highest difficulty just to make you fail. “And why exactly would I want you to fail?” He asked in the robotic voice you hate, picking your thoughts up at a whim.
“I don’t know sir.” You shrug.
He rolls his eyes before taking the helmet off. It’s a confined area and he knows you dislike it.
“If you practice on the highest setting than when you go lower it will seem easy, which will raise your confidence. That is what you are lacking.” He starts the simulation and brings his own weapon up, shooting everything perfectly. “Now you try.” He starts again and you barely fire your weapon. As you get it aimed correctly, it’s already disappearing and another pops up, the process repeating over and over until the time runs out.
“Why were you not firing?” He demands.
“I have to aim first and I don’t want my accuracy rating to dwindle by missing so much.”
He sighs again, something he’s been doing more and more in your presence, pinching the bridge of his nose. His head pops up upon realizing a way to get through to you. “You’re overthinking. Tell me when you are cutting meat or vegetables do you think about where to place your hand, where to place the knife, at what angle to cut? No, you just do it.” You nod at his correct assessment, brows furrowing. “But I’ve done it for years, I didn’t start off like that.” You try to argue. He shakes his head. “The same can be applied here. The more you fire and miss the more instinctual it would be.”
“I guess that makes since.”
“Of course it does.” He’s irritated again. “Here.” He takes your arm that is holding the blaster and moves behind you. You can feel his front pressing into your back as he starts the simulation again. His command of “Fire” jolts you out of the thoughts of his warm body and he growls at you to pay attention. Restarting the program he does the same thing again, only this time when he stops the movement of your arm you pull the trigger, ending in a perfect score just like he did. He releases your arm but doesn’t step back. “Now do it again.” His hands settling on your hips, using the force to start it up again. You miss a few times to start and he can tell you’re still over thinking, so he leans down and presses his chin on your shoulder, his hot breath on the side of your face. “Stop overthinking.” He reminds you and at this point the only thought in your head is about how his thumbs are making little circles on your bare back right above your pants line.
Subconsciously you’re still moving your arm and firing at the little balls that float in your peripheral vision, but all of your thoughts are on the squeeze of his hands on your hips, the way he pulls you closer to him, and you swear he brushed his lips on your neck. You’re still fuzzy and lightheaded when the timer goes off, signalling you’re done. What wakes you up and feels like cold water thrown on your face, is when he steps back and smirks. “Best score yet. Keep it up until dinner.” He throws his helmet on and leaves before he can properly hear you shout “Asshole!” to him. Even though he couldn’t hear it from your mouth, it still rings out loud through your head, along with a few other choice curses towards him. The loud wheezing laugh startles a few troopers as he walks down the hallway.
Next Chapter
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Hello! I think it was you I saw a post about making more realistic characters with psychosis (I think that's the right word?), and I was wondering if you have any guidelines or help saved for what to do and not to do with them? Because I'm making a new character right now and it sounds like psychosis might fit with them so I want to see if I could make it work :) thank you so much for any help or nudges towards help that you can give! I hope you have a wonderful day!
Hello! Aha yeah that was probably me, or if it wasn’t me that particular time you’re thinking of, it absolutely has been me at some point or another, I’m definitely not quiet about how much I’m on the lookout for realistic psychosis rep. And I’m super happy you’re looking into it! We definitely need more of it! Much excitement on my end over here and good luck with your character-creating and research! I hope you’re having a wonderful day too!!
OK LONG POST
So firstly I wanna emphasise that “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of different symptoms and experiences! And that there are many different psychotic disorders. In terms of psychosis symptoms, most commonly people think of hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. And while you can have a character whose psychosis is limited to those things, because any array and combination of symptoms is possible, this isn’t the case for many psychotic people! There are a lot of other common facets of psychosis that exist that are hardly ever addressed in fiction (and are specific criteria for certain psychotic disorders). I will talk about some of these in one of my lists! This is something to be aware of regardless, but especially if you’re going to be depicting a specific disorder, because often there are a lot more symptoms/criteria that go into a psychotic disorder than people think and you’ll want to do your research on the disorder in question.
Anyway so this is a HUGE question and I’ve broken my response into some lists, we’ve got some lists, we’ve got a general what to do list, a general what not to do list, and a things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context list
some non-exhaustive lists, hey, because I’m sure I’ve forgotten a bunch of things that I’ll think of later and be like Oh Man I Forgot That Thing
and I wanna emphasise re my what to do and what not to do lists, these lists are gonna be fairly general, because without knowing your specific story and the character in question, I can’t cover all the things, yeah? For me to get super specific with these lists it would depend on the character in question, the premise of your story, the setting, the specific symptoms you want to represent, etc, etc…
ANYWAY
LIST TIME
AND READMORE TIME UNDER THE CUT
we’re gonna start with….. (because my first dot point is my most important and literally no other reason)
What not to do
Firstly, don’t freak out. Try not to get overwhelmed! Honestly it can seem like a really huge thing to tackle, but don’t let anxiety about getting it wrong stop you from trying, if you decide that this is something you want to include for your character. You can start small, you can work bits and pieces into your character, you can explore different things and see what happens! Anyone who is writing an experience that they themselves haven’t experienced is bound to make some mistakes, and that’s more than okay! Be open to learning and listening!
Don’t use psychosis for a cheap plot twist or shock value. Hey, there’s lots and lots of ableist twists and tropes out there involving psychosis. Stuff like “none of it was real, it was just some crazy mentally ill person’s fantasy the whole time!!!!” tends to be tired and stale at best and horribly ableist at worst. Also certain tropes in fantasy settings such as schizophrenia being caused by demons can get real dicey real quick. If you want to go the direction of having some sort of “twist” around it, definitely ask around and get some opinions from psychotic people on it. Like, absolutely, twists around psychosis can be done, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them.
Don’t present psychosis as some sort of horrible dead end or the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. This is something I see a weird amount of? Please do your best not to present psychosis as some awful world-ending tragedy, do your best not to treat it like some sort of fate worse than death. Like absolutely psychosis can be debilitating and exhausting and difficult to deal with at times, but as a non-psychotic author please do not use it as, like, grief p-rn or whatever. Also we end up dying at the end of a lot of stories and that’s supposed to be, like, a relief? Like “oh they never would have had a happy life, this is probably for the best” and like whoa that’s not probably not a great message to be sending. You can definitely delve into some of the challenges and struggles of psychosis but be really mindful of the way you’re talking about it. And the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, fulfilling lives is something that needs to die like yesterday
Don’t have the character’s psychosis only present when it’s convenient for the plot. This goes for any mental illness, and I see it with every mental illness. It’s something that exists in the plot only when it’s cool and edgy, or only when it’s convenient, or only when it’s relevant. Or, the illness will exist, but only the symptoms that the author can glamorise or use for edgy plot purposes. Another way of phrasing this is psychosis doesn’t exist in your story just to make it interesting. It’s not something you can dip in and out of and only commit to when it’s easy or when it suits your story. That doesn’t mean it has to be the sole focus or all-encompassing, but it does mean you need to actually commit.
If you’re not psychotic, I highly highly highly advise against writing a psychotic villain. And I know me saying outright “don’t write a psychotic villain” is probably gonna strike some nerves for people because blah blah people can write whatever they want and blah blah there’s a way to do everything respectfully and blah blah what if my psychotic villain is a sympathetic character and morally complex and not all bad and look, I get it, I get it, I get it
I’m sure it is possible to write an interesting, morally complex, respectfully-depicted psychotic villain, but that’s not the point, that’s not the problem! The issue is that we have barely any psychotic heroes and protagonists and good guys! We have no positive rep to balance it out! We might have more space for well-written psychotic villains if we had an equal amount of psychotic good guys. Like…. psychosis is terrifying and isolating enough to deal with on its own, but adding to this is the fact that most of the representation we see is in the form of villains, antagonists, killers, etc. and like…. not only is that awful to see as a psychotic person, but fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and psychosis is already misunderstood and demonised enough
This is less a hard-and-fast DON’T DO THIS and more just a very very strong opinion, like, I can’t stop you if that’s what you’re doing but just. something to bear in mind, y’know?
And now onto:
What to do
Listen to psychotic people in your research! (You knew this one was coming, hopefully!) A whole serious tonne of your research should come in the form of sources by actual psychotic people, like, read their work! Read their books! Read their papers! Visit blogs, visit forums, listen to their experiences! Listen to their experiences of the specific symptoms you want to include in your story! Most importantly, take in what they’re saying and don’t assume you know better than them about their lived experiences!
You’ll get a much better sense of how psychosis affects people and the different ways people deal with it, and you will learn things you would not have even considered otherwise! Medical webpages and articles are fine but if you want a realistic portrayal, this is absolutely not an optional step. I have read way too many books with psychotic rep written by authors who have clearly just………. never actually listened to a psychotic person talk about their experiences in their entire life and it’s actually mind-boggling to me
On this note, I follow a lot of psychosis support and information blogs on here for psychosis reasons, but a lot of these blogs are okay with and happy for people to follow them for learning or to gain a better knowledge of psychosis to support others in their lives or to ask questions about experiences. You can also find a lot of YouTube channels where people with psychosis talk about their experiences. These sorts of things can be a good place to start!
Research psychosis itself, not “writing psychotic characters”. General advice posts about how to write psychotic characters can be a good jumping off point and link to some good resources, but they’re a step removed and shouldn’t form the entire basis of your research. These posts can be great, especially if they’re made by people who experience psychosis, but they’re still meant as a starting point and you should be doing your own research as well. As a general rule, your research shouldn’t come primarily through the lens of “how do I write a psychotic character”, and should very much come through the lens of “what are psychotic experiences?” and “how do people deal with psychosis?” and “how does psychosis affect people?” and other such questions, so that you have the knowledge of to write these characters.
Also, because “how to write psychotic characters” as a google search will lead you through a plethora of terrible pages titled things like “HOW TO WRITE AN INSANE UNSTABLE CHARACTER!!!” and things that equate psychosis to being inherently violent, evil, unstable, dangerous, etc. and, I mean, I shouldn’t have to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing of value to be found in these pages? But hey.
On that note, ableist language is a huge red flag for “hey this source is a bad source”. Be mindful of your non-psychotic sources.
Be aware that there are also negative and cognitive symptoms of psychosis, and positive symptoms other than hallucinations and delusions. So I mentioned this a bit earlier, that there are a lot of other facets of psychosis that I rarely see addressed in fiction. For a lot of psychotic and schizospec disorders the symptoms can fall under the categories of positive symptoms (which “add” something, eg, delusions, hallucinations (auditory, visual, tactile, pretty much any sense) disorganised behaviour, disorganised speech), negative symptoms (which “take away”, eg, lack of motivation, flat affect, reduced speech, social withdrawal) and cognitive symptoms (eg, memory problems, disorganised thoughts, concentration problems, difficulty processing information). For most people with psychosis there will be a range of symptoms across these areas. Even if you’re not currently experiencing positive symptoms, negative and cognitive symptoms can be affecting areas of your life as well.
Of course, it’s definitely possible to experience only a handful of symptoms and there are plenty of people who experience some symptoms of psychosis outside of having a specific psychotic disorder, so it depends on what applies to your character. That being said, it is something I would love to see a lot more of in fiction because it’s………. honestly a really huge part of psychosis experience for a majority of people? And it can really help a realistic representation, as well as giving some visibility to other, less-known effects of psychosis. THAT being said, if you are writing a specific disorder such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective, etc, including other symptoms is definitely not optional. There are a lot of cookie-cutter representations of disorders like schizophrenia that barely cover half of what schizophrenia actually involves. Again, research is ur best bud
Understand that for a lot of people, psychosis isn’t really a switch that flips from ON to OFF. What I mean by this is for a lot of people, while psychosis can come in episodes, it affects most of a person’s life one way or another. Like for me personally, even on my best week, it’s still something that shapes the way I understand the world and it’s a lens through which I interpret the reality around me. It’s not something that disappears completely. It’s not something I can untangle from my gender and my sexuality or my experiences of religion or my relationships, it’s not necessarily something I can untangle from myself as a person. I have a different relationship with the world around me, and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice thing. Sometimes it’s a difficult thing. Mostly, it’s just a thing. So when you’re writing a character who experiences psychosis, consider the ways it might present itself and what affects of it might be present outside of an episode. This might be in the way they see the world, or the way they speak, or the way they go about their every day life such as rituals or safety or clothing choices or things they avoid. Honestly there’s such a huge diverse range of experiences and it will depend on your character.
Understand that no two experiences of psychosis are going to be the same. Again, “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of symptoms that can come in any number of combinations and presentations, and even two people with the exact same set of symptoms can have those symptoms expressed in entirely different ways. Even two people with the same disorder are going to have different experiences of it. And beyond the differences in psychosis itself, the experience of psychosis intersects with other aspects of a person’s identity such as sexuality, gender, race, religion, etc. in fairly major ways as well. There’s not a “one size fits all” when it comes to experiencing psychosis. Consider what sorts of experiences might impact your character and understand the diversity of experiences! Research, research
Remember that first and foremost, you’re writing a character. They have a life, opinions, likes, dislikes, neighbours, goals, whatever. Their experience with psychosis may be something that shapes their life significantly and something that affects a lot of other facets of their experience, or it might not be, but either way it’s not the only part of their identity. Your character should be just as varied and nuanced and in-depth as any of your other characters.
and now a definitely non-exhaustive list but a list that’s good enough for now considering my brain is fried:
Things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context
Casual, everyday depictions of going about life with psychosis. I mean, this is just in general, in general I would love to see more representation in fiction of mentally ill characters going about their daily lives alongside Whatever Nonsense is going on in the main plot, where it’s acknowledged that they’re also attending therapy or taking meds or dealing with symptoms or in treatment. I think it can go a huge way in the normalisation of people dealing with mental illness and the fact that mental illness is a part of some people’s lives. I would love to see this specifically in stories that aren’t About Mental Illness. Like, an urban fantasy story where a character is shown casually taking their meds? Or a YA story where a character mentions they can’t do a particular thing ‘cause they have a psych appointment booked for that day? Or characters using coping strategies and it’s not treated as weird or other? Just, characters with psychosis, existing, in their every day lives
Supportive friends and family, or good support networks in general. Partly because I’m a sucker for found family tropes and cheesy power of friendship stories, but like, psychotic characters with friends who support them and understand them and who help them with their coping strategies! Psychotic characters with healthy support systems and friendships! Psychotic characters who get to goof off and have fun with their friends, and who get to support and help their friends! Psychotic characters who get to have romantic relationships with supportive partners!
Happy endings! I mentioned this earlier, too, like…… in terms of representation, so much of what’s out there is either psychotic characters as villains or psychotic characters dying tragically, and this over and over and over again, y’know, eventually the message being driven home is “there is no good ending for you!” which is………. bullshit, obviously. But it can be terribly isolating and scary to internalise if you’re experiencing psychosis, and even if you know it’s bullshit, it’s exhausting! You want to see yourself represented as someone who has a future and can be happy! As I said earlier, the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, whole, fulfilling lives needs to die, and we are in dire, dire need of stories with good endings for psychotic people.
Explicit representation of specific disorders. I was going to say that schizophrenia is something most people think of when it comes to psychosis representation in fiction, but like, honestly, a lot of those writers don’t even do the bare minimum research for what schizophrenia involves and they have a really stereotyped version of the disorder that they clearly haven’t researched at all……. but anyway yes, my point is, there are a lot of different psychotic disorders, and I would love to see some of them represented explicitly, and not just left vague and unlabelled. I would also like to see accurate, well-researched, actual representation of schizophrenia. I would also like to see psychotic depression! Or schizotypal personality disorder! Or schizoaffective! I’d like to see some actual names
Anyway that’s all that’s coming to me right now even though I’ve probably missed like fifty things for each of these lists……………… I hope that this has been a little bit helpful, maybe, somewhat, perhaps, who knows, I reserve the right to come back and say more things,
#Anonymous#hngnhnhgrwejrhgihrg i always type answers like this and then i'm like#ok but is any of this what u actually wanted?#i hope i've been somewhat useful or at least sorta pointed you in some directions#disclaimer i'm just one person of many people and my word is just like. my thoughts. my opinions. i guess#also be proud of me for going this entire post without using the phrase ''first and foremosterly'' which is my current thing for some#godforsaken reason#i'm really here for first and foremosterly and here for therefore and thusly#considering ''alasly'' as well that could be fun#going to pepper these into my vocabulary starting today#none of that is relevant whatsoever to this post i'm just tired
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Tonight - Part 3
Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader (first person POV)
Word Count: 6,044
Rating: R (Mentions of violence, drug use, murder, language; see trigger warnings below)
Trigger Warnings: Choking, violence, death
Summary: For the first time in his life, Logan Delos has someone that really wants to listen to him, not just watch him talk.
Author’s Note: Part 3 is a long one, but I didn’t want to cut it in half. This is very important for a lot of reasons. Thank you for reading.
Tag list: @ooo-barff-ooo @likethetailofacomet @disengagefrmreality @suchatinyinfinity @elanor-of-imladris
I followed Logan into the hallway, but he was silent, even though he held my hand tightly. “Where are we going, Logan?” He didn’t respond right away, but as he turned a corner in the hallway, I knew that we were headed toward the deck off of one of the spare bedrooms. There was a built in swing there, and it faced the ocean. Though it was dark out, I knew that Logan took comfort in the noise of the water, even when he couldn’t see it. Logan settled into the seat, facing the water and I sank down too, leaving space between us as I looked at him. His face was illuminated in the lights from inside of the house, and I could see the pain in his eyes, the straight set of his lips - I could even see just how pale he was, and it worried me. “I just want to know that you’re alright, Logan.” I shook my head, clearing my throat. “I mean…”
“Did I hurt you?” His voice was soft, but there was anger in it, just behind the words. “You’d tell me if I did, right?” I nodded, reaching out to place my hand on his knee and carefully considering what I said.
“It did hurt, Logan. You were… you had your hand pretty tight around my throat, but I’m fine. You… didn’t...and it’s…”
“It’s not OK.” Logan looked past me, eyes moving across the horizon, though I knew he couldn’t see anything concrete. “Don’t make excuses for me. I guess I underst… I’m... “ He fell silent, staring in the direction of the water for a long time. “I’m glad I didn’t hurt you. That’s not what I wanted.” When he looked back at me, his expression was still flat, but he also looked resigned, looked tired. “I could have. I’ve… hurt peop... Hosts before.” Logan shook his head. “They’re not people, even though they seem like it.” Logan took a deep breath. “Do you… what do you know about Westworld?” I responded quickly, telling him that I knew the basics, that I knew how lifelike everything was, but that since I’d never been there, I couldn’t fully understand.
“I’d like to go sometime, Logan, but I don’t have that kind of money, so I just… I have to rely on stories and…” He laughed, shaking his head.
“It’s all bullshit.” He was quiet but firm, his shoulders set. “People forget that, they forget that what they do there… there’s no consequences, and it’s so different from this, from reality. They don’t want to do anything bad, because it… But it feels real when you’re there.” Logan shook his head and I leaned in, not wanting to miss anything he said. “I... “ He stopped, tilting his head back and putting both hands in his hair. “The first time I killed a host, I didn’t realize that I’d done it.” I inhaled sharply, but Logan continued. “I was in bed with her, I’d just gotten to Westworld a few hours before, and I was in a shit mood because Jim fucked me over in a meeting with clients right before I left, and I wanted to forget. She was gorgeous. Dark hair, big, beautiful eyes, a mouth that could…” He shook his head. “I couldn’t… understand why she stopped responding, why her hands… why she was so relaxed.” Logan took a deep breath. “I was on top of her, just… When I realized she wasn’t breathing, I just got up and left. What do you do when you… There was no one to tell, no one to…”
I watched as Logan struggled with his words, fingers twisting around each other as he shook his head. “It’s OK, Logan. I’m listening.” He smiled sadly.
“She was back the next morning, walking down the stairs at breakfast like nothing happened, like… like I hadn’t… but the more I thought about it, the more… it didn’t matter. They’re not real. They’re not… I could do what I wanted with them, and I didn’t need to block anything out or hold back. I own them, and they’re there for me and for people like me.” He finally locked eyes with me, and I saw a desperation in them, a need for me to understand. “I’ve been getting high since I was in my early 20’s, and it started out as a way to have some fun, to let loose, to forget that I’m a Delos for a little while… but the more Jim fucking expected from me, the easier it was to want to forget, to snort a line or to shoot up, or to…”
“I hate seeing you like that, Logan.” I spoke, cutting in, even though all I wanted to do was let him talk. “I know that it’s an escape for you, and I get it because your dad fucking sucks, but it still… you’re not that guy, you don’t have to be that guy... and every time, it makes me…” He laughed, shaking his head.
“I get high out here because I need to be able to blow off steam without worrying that I’m going to hurt anyone seriously. In there, it doesn’t matter what I do - I can behave how I want, and it’s just… a game. Out here, there are real people, real questions that I’d need to answer, and I just can’t handle it most of the time. I get lost in my own head out here.” He reached out, taking my hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “They feel just like us. They’re warm and soft. They smell like humans, they talk like people and they move like we do.” Logan sighed. “If you were in bed with one of them, you’d never even know the difference, I swear… at least not right away.” I’d know it wasn’t you, Logan. He swallowed. “They call it ‘blackhatting’ in there, when you go in and play the game like a bad guy.” I know this. That’s what you do. “When I black hat, I usually just go in and fuck some of the Hosts and then go out and kill people that deserve it - bad guys and people that are up to no good, or good people if I want to get to a different part of the game. Sometimes… I’ll just shoot someone to feel it, to watch as they stop breathing, to know that I did it, but that they’ll be back within hours like nothing happened because none of it’s real.” He’s thriving on killing them. That’s...
“Does it make you feel better?” I couldn’t help but ask, eyes narrowed at him, the hand that he wasn’t holding resting on his knee. “Do you feel better when you’re killing them?”
“I… I do.” He shook his head. “No one listens to me out here, not really, and it’s gotten so much worse since I took William there, and we… I want people to take me seriously.” His voice changed as he continued to speak. “They listen to me there, when I tell them to get on their knees, or when I tell them to close their eyes, or when I tell them to shut the fuck up and just take it.” He shook his head. “They all fucking listen to me, and it’s… it’s power. It’s a purpose. They’re listening to me, and to what I want.They do what I want.” He stopped talking again for a few moments and I stared at his face, watching as the muscles in his jaw twitched slightly. “I don’t know how to explain it, but… it’s so different than being out here, being… lost. Everyone out here thinks I’m just a fuck up, but in there… in there I hold all of the power, and it’s… refreshing. There’s no Jim in there, no William. No Juliet, no Delos board, no responsibility… it’s just me, and the Hosts and the way they feel and act and….” Logan stopped speaking, and I realized that I was going to need to guide him if I wanted anything more than rambling. I want to know, Logan, but I don’t understand.
“So… so you don’t always hurt them?” Logan shook his head. “Are you always sober when you’re there with them?” Logan and I didn’t do a great deal of talking when we were together, and when we did, things weren’t very personal. He told me the bare minimum, and even though I considered us friends, we knew very little about each other’s personal lives outside of our bedrooms. Logan and I had an understanding, not a relationship, and though I was always sober enough when we fell into bed, I respected the dynamic between us too much to dig deeper. It was what it was, and wanting or hoping for anything more was off limits - until tonight.
“Yeah. There are no drugs there, you can’t bring anything in. There’s a ton of alcohol, but when I’m drinking heavily, it’s… I’ve never killed a Host while drunk, it’s always been while I’m sober. That’s why… being out here with you was such a challenge, because doing those things to you - feeling your body and hearing the way you sounded, focusing on you like that...it just… it was like I was back in the park, back...with one of them.” I froze, eyes widening. They’re that realistic? “You can tell the difference once you’ve been with enough of them if you pay attention, but…” Logan stopped talking, eyes moving over my face and then down to my neck. “I don’t… it doesn’t happen every time. There are trips where I just drink and fuck and shoot and it’s not a big deal.” Most people get drunk and then become dangerous… he’s more dangerous when he’s sober.
“You said that, Logan.” My voice betrayed me, and even though I was trying to keep calm, there was a wavering quality to it that I didn’t like. “So you… you get high out here to be able to keep control over yourself in a way that you can’t when you’re… clean? So you won’t hurt anyone?” He frowned. “Logan, that’s…”
“You think I don’t know how messed up that is?” Logan shot to his feet, walking over to the railing and gripping it tightly in both hands. “That I’m so afraid I won’t be able to control myself outside of the park that I have to get wasted before I take someone to bed because I’m afraid I’ll kill them when I’m in a shitty mood?” I followed him, putting a hand tentatively on his back and feeling him tense up beneath my touch. “I’d rather hurt myself than anyone else… than someone like you.” He turned to face me, eyes narrowed. “You think I like being this person? You think I’m happy that this is what I’ve become? Do you know when the last time I actually fucked someone solely for pleasure was?” I absolutely do not think that. He shoved his arm in my face, the mark on his elbow clearly visible. “You think I like seeing this shit? That I like the feeling of-”
“No, Logan. I know you don’t.” My heart was pounding, and I shook my head. “I just want to-”
“You need to leave.” He chewed on his lower lip, shaking his head. “Leave. Don’t come back. I don’t want you here.” No. I stood my ground, crossing my arms over my chest and staring up at him. “You don’t want to hear this.” He scoffed, not meeting my eyes. “You don’t want to… no one… I don’t want you to…” His voice was losing the edge with each syllable, and I took a deep breath, stepping even closer to him and putting a hand on his arm. He didn’t flinch, but he still didn’t look into my eyes. “Please leave. Let me… let me go.” I can’t let you go if I’ve never had you, Logan. “You don’t want to listen to this.”
“If you ask me one more time, Logan, I’ll go.” I spoke softly, stepping closer to him, my hand still on his arm. “I want to listen to you, Logan. I want to be here for you. I want you to know that I care about what happens to you.” I paused, waiting, and Logan’s hand moved to my hip, gripping it through his t shirt. “I want to listen to you, Logan. But not like… not like they do, not because that’s what I’m made to do.” I took a breath, feeling my voice waver. “If you want me to go, I will. But think about what that means, Logan.” My hand squeezed his arm a little more forcefully than I planned, but it got his attention. “This doesn’t have to be you. Not anymore. You’re not…” Let me show you, Logan. Let me help you.
He was silent for a few minutes, looking down at me, at where our bodies were joined. “I could have killed you.” I brought my gaze back up, seeing that Logan was eyeing me carefully, but his dark eyes were focused instead of empty. “I didn’t even realize what I was doing and… God why are you still here? Why are you touching me?” His fingers tightened and I shook my head. “Why are you letting me touch you? Why do you care?”
“Someone has to, Logan.” I tried to smile at him, but the expression felt forced. Less than an hour ago he was…“Logan… I’ve always cared about you.” He brought his free hand up to his face, rubbing at his eyes. “As much as you’ll let me, anyway.” Logan cleared his throat, hand moving away from his face and back down, reaching for mine. As I felt his fingers against my wrist and then on my own, I noticed that he was shaking, fingers trembling as they twined with mine and squeezed gently. He’s not going to hurt me.
“You shouldn’t care about me.” He leaned in, paused and then pressed his lips to the top of my head for a moment before pulling back. “You don’t… I don’t want to… but if you’ll stay, I’ll tell you.” Relief coursed through my body and I nodded quickly, feeling Logan deflate in front of me. “No one’s ever wanted to know before, no one’s…”
“I told you, Logan. I’m not them. I want to know.” I squeezed his hand once more and then stepped back, turning away from him. “Let’s go inside.” It took him a moment to follow me, but once we’d stepped back into the house, I knew that things were about to change - I just hoped that I was ready for what was coming.
---
Logan and I went into his living room, where he walked over to the bar and poured drinks for both of us. He handed one of them to me, and I moved to sit on one of the large, plush chairs, curling my legs beneath me. My fingers gripped the glass, but I didn’t drink, watching him as he paced in front of me, holding his own drink. Staying completely sober for this one. “It started when my mom died. My dad was always so focused on Juliet that when he had two kids to look after…”
Logan talked. And talked. And talked some more, telling me in halted, sometimes jumbled sentences about the pressure that mounted on him from Jim as he got older. He told me about how Juliet got to skate by, working cushy office jobs from her teenage years on while Logan was expected to be the face of the company - the perfect one, the one that made the deals and schmoozed with clients from the moment he turned 18. He talked about how it felt to realize that people looked up to him, looked to him to make decisions, looked to him for guidance. “And it was great until I fucked up the first deal. I lost millions of dollars, and that’s when I realized what was going on. I realized what Jim really thought of me, why he pushed me so hard.”
After Logan lost a client - some tech startup about ten years before the Argos people approached him about Westworld, Jim changed his tune. Sure, he hadn’t pulled Logan from his position, but he began dumping things on him, the stuff no one else wanted to do. It was endless travel, endless time with people that weren’t ever going to pan out. “After a year or two of that, I asked him why I was constantly stuck with the shit jobs, why I had to deal with the clients that weren’t going to commit.” Logan stopped walking, looking down at me. “And do you know what he said?” I shook my head no. “He said, ‘boy, you’re going to waste my time by not doing the jobs you need to do, I’m going to waste your time with the ones that aren’t going to do what I want them to do.” Logan dropped down onto the table in front of me, still gripping his glass in two hands, eyes staring down at the floor. “That’s when I realized it was all a fucking joke to him. When I realized that he was counting on me to fail with everything he assigned to me.”
Logan kept talking, telling me about the small victories that he’d had with Delos, the few moments where he’d actually felt accepted by his father, the times - that he could count on one hand - where Jim had said that Logan had done a good job, given him praise. He talked about starting to use drugs, about the way they were always available at parties and events, about the people that offered them to him, smiles on their faces and their hands on his body. “I just wanted to zone out, you know? I didn’t want to be Logan Isaac Delos, heir to the Delos fortune. I wanted to get high and just be… normal. I was twenty fucking five years old, and I’d never had anything normal.” Logan jumped ahead, telling me about the first time he’d met William, a new employee at the company who just so happened to be dating Juliet. “She was allowed to have normal fucking relationships. But when I wanted to? No, I wasn’t allowed. Had to focus on the fucking company. And then we started hearing whispers about a company called Argos.”
Juliet and William had gotten serious, and William had slowly moved up within the ranks, securing a spot as the EVP after only a few years. “And then he proposed.” William’s proposal to Juliet had been another form of humiliation for Logan, another reminder that he was inadequate, another slap in the face because there Juliet was, finding love with someone that wasn’t a threat, that was going to look good on paper… that was going to give her an easy life - someone that Jim liked and wanted around. “William proposed, and they decided on a long engagement, and then everything went to shit.”
Argos had given Logan - though they’d thought it would be Jim - a personal proposal to get them to invest in Westworld, and Logan had jumped on it. “It was exactly what we’d been looking for, the park was incredible, their technology was… out of this world.” He shook his head. “It was unbelievable. We immediately invested in it, and Jim was… proud. Of me. He didn’t understand why exactly, or what the park would do, but knew that it was an important step for us.” Logan grinned. “That first demonstration ended very well for me.” I’m sure it did. “But it didn’t last, even as I started going to the park more and more to keep an eye on things, I learned what my limits were. I learned what my moods were and what I… was capable of.” Logan still hadn’t taken a drink, though he’d raised the glass to his lips more than once, stopping just before he parted them. “The more I went to Westworld, the more I realized what a joke everything there was, how fake. I’m a different person there than I am here, but it’s not because of me, it’s because of this fucking world.” I was confused, but I didn’t interrupt him.
Logan talked about killing Clementine - the first Host he’d ever slept with inside of the park. “Not the first time I was with her, but… the first time I was in the park. It was so… I was thinking about my dad and the company, and I just put my hands on her, and then she wasn’t moving, and…” He’d already told me this part, but still I let him speak. “So I realized very quickly, that after that first time - after seeing her laying there and then watching her walk downstairs the next morning, I realized that I didn’t feel what I was supposed to for them… for the Hosts. It wasn’t real, and so it didn’t matter. There was no remorse, no… emotion. It felt good to fuck them, and it was satisfying as hell after that first time to kill them.” Logan bit his lip, looking at me. “What does that say about me? I look forward to going back, to losing control, to…” He shook his head. “But only after something bad happens here, or even there. Only when I’m riled up.” I should be terrified of him. “And then when I’m here? Everyone always wants something from me. Sex or drugs or for me to introduce them to someone. And my fucking father... “ Logan was snarling. “My father chooses William over me every fucking time, especially after he fucked me over in Westworld and made me look weak.”
“I remember reading about that, Logan.” I finally spoke, my voice quiet. “You came back days after him, and then it was announced that you weren’t the face of Delos anymore, that William was.” Logan nodded, reaching out for my hand, running his fingers over it. “I didn’t know you then, but…it was bad, right?”
“Yeah. That trip… isn’t something I’m ready to talk about yet, but…” He shook his head. “But it was coming back here that made me realize that I needed the drugs.” His voice was sad. “I swore to myself that I was done with all of the bullshit, and then...I met someone at a club and decided to take them home.” He stared directly into my eyes. “We got back and… she offered me drugs and I said no, but she did them... and I thought it would be OK, but then we were in bed, and I felt like I did in Westworld. It wasn’t … she didn’t feel real. She didn’t… I thought I was going to hurt her and so I was afraid.” Logan continued, telling me that he’d gotten high too, that he’d felt better once he wasn’t so focused on William and Delos and Westworld. After that, he’d tried once more to take someone to bed sober - a man that time, right after Juliet and William’s wedding, and it had turned out the same as it had previously, but the guy had left before Logan had had a chance to turn him away. “I didn’t have any coke that time, and I didn’t think it was safe so…” He shrugged his shoulders. “So I started fucking them sober in Westworld and if they died they died… but I couldn’t do that here, so I just tuned it out and didn’t even bother to try again.”
“Logan…” I shook my head, still holding his hand. “Logan, you…”
“I look forward to having a shitty day at work or with Jim or with that fuck William because it means I get to come home and then go out and lose myself in this shit.” He raised his arm. “And in fucking some nameless person. And it doesn’t matter because it always ends the same.” Logan leaned in closer to me, eyes dark again, but this time they were filled with pain. “I’m alone. Why do you think I go out to Westworld every few months now? Fucking people here only gives me so much… I need that, need to feel them under my hands, or in front of me…I need the violence, because there it’s not fucking real in the end, so it doesn’t matter what I do.” Logan scooted closer, moving to the end of the table so that he was as close to me as he could get, his free hand resting on one of my knees. “But then I met you, and you…” He laughed. “I tried so hard to be an asshole to you, tried to not let it go beyond talking to you at parties, but then you… God, you walked up to me that night, tipsy and bold as hell, and you finally… you finally admitted that I got to you, that you wanted me.” I did. “And I couldn’t stop myself then, and I still can’t stop, no matter how much I know I should.”
“What do you mean, Logan?” He shifted, never letting go of my hand or removing his hand from my knee. “What do you mean you should?”
“You deserve someone that’s going to go to bed with you when you’re sober, when you’re both sober, not someone like me. Not someone that has to stick a fucking needle in his arm or do a line before they even think about being with you because they’re afraid that they’ll hurt you otherwise.” My heart was thumping in my chest, and Logan finally looked up at me, tears shining in his eyes. “You deserve better than me, and you know it. You finally told me that you were done, and…” Logan shook his head, hair falling back over his eyes. “I tried. I tried to leave you alone. But I can’t let you go, and so I called you here, thinking maybe… maybe it would change something, that you’d… that I could look at you and then when I finally went out and found whatever person I found tonight, that when I was… that it would be you I saw.” What is he saying?
“Logan -”
“I remember it.” He was alternating between pressing his lips together and running his tongue over them, eyes locked on mine. “I remember being with you. Not all of the details, not all of the little things… but I always knew it was you. I always… I stopped using or drinking before I knew that I wouldn’t recognize you, I was always… fuck. You were the only one I wanted to remember, the only one I ever wished I could be normal with.” Logan blinked back his tears, nose wrinkling. “And then what happens when I finally get my hands on you because you admit that you really want me to? What happens when we’re both clean and honest?” He shook his head. “I nearly strangled you.” He said it so matter of factly that it shocked me and I froze, unsure of how to respond. He admitted to it. He actually… “You offered to stay. You told me what you really wanted, and… I couldn’t even keep my shit together long enough to give that to you…”
“Logan.” I reached out with one hand, cupping his cheek and feeling his beard against my palm. “Logan, please look at me.” He did, slowly raising his head so that our faces were even. What do I say? “There’s still... “ My thumb stroked over his cheekbone, my head shaking back and forth. “I’m not afraid of you.” His eyes widened. “I don’t think I need to be.”
“You should be.” His voice was little more than a whisper, and I saw sadness in his eyes that made him look positively broken. “You shouldn’t be here.” I took a deep breath.
“I want to be here, Logan.” Leaning in, I kissed his cheek, lips lingering on his skin. “I don’t think I can fix you, but I want you to know that you’re not alone.” He didn’t say anything, but changed the placement of his hands so that both of them were on my legs, grip tightening slightly. “If I leave, you’re going to go out, right?” I pulled back, looking at him, waiting. He paused, but then nodded, eyes clouding over briefly.
“Yes. I have a -” Exactly.
“Then I’m not going anywhere. There’s no way.” I took a very deep breath, squaring my shoulders. “Logan, I have a feeling if I leave - or if I hadn’t come over here tonight, that you might have made a very bad decision.” The more he’d spoken, the more I was sure of ths, that there was going to be one night where he didn’t stop at his usual limit, where he didn’t think, where he just kept going. “I’m not going to let you do that to yourself, Logan. At least not tonight.” The look in his eyes changed to one of gratitude and I felt my body get lighter by a fraction. It’s a start. “Logan…” I sat up straight, the hand on his face dropping to his shoulder. “You said earlier that you wanted me to… that you wanted me to stay with you tonight, that you wanted me.” I wet my lips with my tongue. “Do you still?” I’m giving you an out. I’m giving you one more chance to tell me to leave.
“You’d stay?” He sounded unsure. “If I asked you to, you’d stay?” I nodded. “After what I did, after what I said...what I’ve done… you’d stay?” He shifted on the table, glancing down at the glass next to him - still as full as it had been when he poured it.
“Yes.” I sounded much more sure than I felt, but as I looked at Logan, I realized that I meant it. I hadn’t known the extent of Logan’s issues, hadn’t known how troubled he was - but despite the strange turn of events, I was certain about what I was saying to him. “I’ll stay with you, Logan. No… no sex, but I’ll stay. Tonight… I’m yours, if you still want me.” The room was silent, and somewhere I heard the ticking of a clock, but as I stared at Logan’s face, my heart pounding, he didn’t reply. He doesn’t want me. He told me all of these things, and he doesn’t want me to stay.
“Please stay.” Logan’s request was barely more than a whisper. “Please don’t leave me alone.” He met my eyes again, his filled with worry. “There’s plenty of spare rooms if you want, but, please don’t go.” Staring at him, I took a few seconds and made my decision.
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, Logan. We can continue this conversation another time if you want to, but the last thing I want to do is leave you.” I stood, feeling Logan’s hands fall away from me and reached out, waiting for him to respond. When he did, I pulled him to his feet, letting go of his hands to wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Let’s go to bed, Logan.” It was barely midnight, but we were both spent. He hugged me back, one hand flat against my spine, the other cradling the back of my head as he held me close to his body. Neither of us spoke or moved for a long while, standing in the center of the room with our arms wrapped around each other, and I felt Logan slowly relax. “Bed, Logan. C’mon.”
We went back into his bedroom, taking turns in the bathroom where I opened a spare toothbrush and stared in the mirror as I brushed, thinking about everything that had happened. I was sure that Logan hadn’t meant to hurt me, that he was really just suffering from PTSD from the experiences in Westworld and the way he’d been brought up, and so I wasn’t concerned about spending the night with him, but I definitely wasn’t happy. He thinks he deserves to be this miserable, but he doesn’t… he deserves more. So much more.
Quickly undressing, I took my bra and underwear off, folding both pieces before getting redressed in Logan’s clothes and heading back into the bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, and he’d removed his shirt. “You’re sure you want to stay in here with me?” I nodded, climbing into the bed on the opposite side and sliding under the covers. “OK.” He got up, flipping the light switch off before moving to the large windows and pulling them open. The sound of the ocean was faint but I could hear it, and as the bed dipped when Logan got in, I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling and watching him out of the corner of my eye.
Though I knew that I should have been worried - that I was laying in the same bed that we’d been in only a short time before, that Logan was a wildcard - I was calmer than I ever had been around him. There were things out in the open that I’d never dreamed of knowing, a sort of understanding between us that had seemed next to impossible previously… and despite the fact that my throat still ached and my jaw was sore, I knew I was safe with him after what he’d told me. He’s not going to hurt me. Logan turned on his side to face me, and though he wasn’t touching me, I knew that he was fighting with himself over it. Fuck it. I turned onto my side, facing the windows and scooted backwards until my back met his bare, broad chest. “It’s OK, Logan.”
As soon as I spoke, Logan’s arm went around my waist, hand settling against my stomach beneath the t-shirt I was wearing. After a few seconds, I felt his nose in my hair, then his chin against my shoulder. He kissed me on the cheek, his hair tickling against my skin and I sighed deeply, shifting my body against his as he curled around me from behind. There was nothing sexual about the movements but it was strangely intimate nonetheless, and I felt Logan relax as the minutes passed, him simply holding me. “I want this.” He was speaking clearly, close to my ear. “You deserve so much more, but I want this.” He cleared his throat. “No one’s ever wanted me in this way before. No one that mattered.” It seemed that Logan knew exactly what to say to break my heart, and I didn’t hesitate as I turned my head toward him, reaching up with one hand to tangle my fingers in his hair, meeting his lips with mine.
He didn’t respond at first, freezing in place, but I didn’t pull away and after a few seconds, Logan kissed me back, fingers tightening against my skin, pulling me closer to him. It was nothing like earlier; this was almost a kiss of relief, one of understanding - but nonetheless, I didn’t want it to end. I swiped my tongue over his lip before I pulled away from him, opening my eyes to stare at him in the dark. “I want this too, Logan.” He nodded once and even in the dim lighting I could see the resolve in his eyes. This might just work out.
Logan closed his eyes and I turned my head away from him, feeling myself beginning to wind down too. His arm tightened around my waist, fingers moving back and forth against my stomach and as his breaths evened out slowly, I felt myself falling asleep as well. For the first time, I was safe, secure, fully clothed and sober in the arms - and the bed - of Logan Delos.
---
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For the Love of Henri: Tome 5 - Kiss From A Rose
Here's what you missed: https://royalfandombible.blogspot.com/2019/01/for-love-of-henri-my-fanfiction.html
What you missed in summary: Prince Henri married a beautiful pauper girl named Philanthropina (Phily). Together they had baby Libby and adopted Prince George. His evil brother and sister in law were banished from the kingdom for their evil deeds. All was well until Henri decided to bid on Meghan Markle at a charity function. She then bid on the outcast Cambridges. Kate and Meg decided to come together to overthrow Phily.
---
At the footstep of the not £4 million cottage, Henri, Meghan Markle, Willy, Kate and Charlotte stood in anticipation.
Henri put his best stern face on. 'Now I must set some ground rules before we go in. My darling Phily will not be expecting any houseguests. You MUST behave, wear undergarments at all times and not use curse words. All that agree say "aye"'.
Everyone said aye apart from Charlotte who said 'aye aye me bastard'.
Henri gasped in dismay. But Kate, who was keen to impress Henri did the unexpected and disciplined her child.
'Charlotte, wash your mouth out! No Game of Thrones for you tonight'.
'BUSYBODY!!!' Charlotte screamed.
Just then the door of the humble cottage opened and a light so bright emerged. It was so heavenly that it took a moment to notice it was coming from Phily and her cherub of her baby daughter, Libby.
'Speak of the devil and she will come' Willy snickered, and Kate elbowed him in the nethers.
'Henri my love, is everything ok?' she asked sweetly. 'I heard a commotion'.
Phily was dressed the same haggard, brown ensemble she was wearing the day they met. She was not ashamed of her roots as a pauper girl.
'Yes my dear' Henri stuttered, kissing her soiled, hardworking feet. 'We have some visitors'.
Phily was no doubt surprised to see the Cambridges and a random beautiful woman on her door step. But she would never turn anyone away from her door.
'Come in brother, sister and unknown woman', she said selflessly.
During this interaction, Meg had been quietly observing. She needed to be smart if she was going to win over Henri's heart. But every one knew a way to a man's heart is through his nethers, so she touched him on the place she knew to be every man's weak spot - his back.
Henri was startled at the feel someone's hand on his back. No-one did that apart from Phily. But not in a domineering way, in a gentle, supportive way that never implied he was a cuckhold. He knew it could be no one but Meghan Markle. But instead of disgust, Henri felt that uncontrolable nether shudder.
As Phily welcomed the Cambridges, Charlotte greeted her brother George and Libby by rapping Nicki Minaj's 'Monster' while standing on Phily's self made, recycled, environmentally friendly dinner table.
"OK first things first I'll eat your brains Then I'm a start rocking gold teeth and fangs 'cause that's what a motherfucking monster do Hair dresser from Milan that's the monster do
Monster Giuseppe heel, that's the monster shoe
Big Lizzie is the roster and a monster crew
But really, really I don't give a F-U-C-K Forget Georgie, fuck Libby 'cause she's fake She's on a diet but her pockets eating cheese cake And I'll say bride of Chucky is Child's play Just killed another career it's a mild day
Now look at what you just saw This is what you live for Aaaahhh, I'm a motherfucking monster!"
***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTkEpkGKgoY
The next morning Henri explained that their visitors were only there for 5 days as per the rules of the auction. Phily cooked up a sustainable breakfast and to her shock Kate offered to wash everything up.
'They really have changed' Phily said to Henri, who was weaving baskets for the poor with Libby. 'Even William is taking an interest in his son', she smiled in a motherly way.
Willy and George were weaving baskets next to the window, out of earshot.
'I hate this place!' George said sulkily 'they make me go to a pauper school that they dont have to pay for'.
'You dont say', Willy said smirking, his limited cogs turning in his brain. 'They took a school place from a pauper child, did they?'
'Don't even try it Pops. They offset it by building a new wing of the school with their bare hands and that stupid Phily volunteers as a music teacher too.'
'Ass lickers' Willy scowled. He really hoped he could get in touch with all the tabloids and plant negative stories.
Despite this setback, Willy was happy to see that nature had won over nurture and George had demanded to change his name back from Philip, and had not given in to doing any philanthropy.
Over at the kitchen sink, Kate had enlisted help from Meg with the dishes.
'Right bitch, how we gonna get rid that busybody Phily?' Kate said licking a plate clean and handing it to Meg to dry with Phily's wedding dress, which she had mistaken for a dishcloth.
'Well H will be a breeze, when I passed him after I'd taken a dump this morning, I saw him slap his nethers', Meg said sneakily.
Kate cackled, 'today's the day you make your move, I'll distract Phily, you get him to kiss you, George will take a photo and tweet it to Piers Morgan and we're done!'
'How you gonna distract her?' Meg asked.
Kate winked at Meg. At least she tried, but she couldnt wink so she just blinked instead. 'Watch and learn from the master'.
Kate stumbled into the basket weaving area, clutching her stomach, 'oooh ouch owwww ooooh'.
Phily ran over immediately. With her medical degree, she could solve any problem, 'sister, whatever is the matter?'
Just then, Kate pulled up her skirt, revealing a small head. 'I-i-i-i'm giving birth!'
'WHAT THE FUCK!' Charlotte screamed.
Willy stayed where he was and said nonchlantly, 'you're preggers again?'
'What does it look like dipshit! Sorry Phily I dont mean to curse, it's just painful you know?'
Phily tried to understand, but in reality pain during childbirth is the one thing on earth she couldnt relate to, for hers was pain free.
Ushering Kate onto the handmade couch, Phily went into full midwife mode, sending Henri to get warm towels.
Kate blinked as a signal to Meg and she followed him up the ricketty staircase.
At the towel cupboard upstairs, Meg began to sob.
'Oh dear, Meghan, what be the matter?!' Henri asked with a genuine concern that his brother could never muster.
Meg sniffed, pulling out her best acting skills, 'oh it's just so emotional seeing new life coming into the world'
'There there' said Henri, patting her on the arm.
'Oh H!' she wailed, falling into his arms. She puckered up her lips and launched at his mouth. But before she could land the kiss, Henri turned his cheek.
Around the corner, George snapped the photo using a camera he'd stolen from 'that cry baby' photographer Garther Tedwards.
Although Henri's nethers were now beating like the Beychella marching band, his love for Phily overwhelmed him.
'Stop Meghan Markle! I beg of you', he hollered .
Meg was taken aback by his rejection, 'I'm so sorry H! Please forgive me'. She fled down the ricketty staircase.
Kate was on the couch legs akimbo screaming expletives at Willy, who was now reluctantly sitting next to his wife to assist with the birth.
"FUCK YOU!!!! DID I ASK YOU TO SIT NEXT TO ME YOU BASTARD/BITCH???? FUCK YOU CUNTHOLE!!! FUCK YOU!!!"
Willy chuckled to himslef as he remembered Henri's ex girlfriend, the beautiful Jimmu, who had now somehow possessed Kate.
"IF THIS FUNNY TO YOU NOW??? BLOODY CUNTING BITCH!!! FUCK YOU CUNT!!! FUCK OFF & SHOWVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS YOU CUNT!!! FUCKING WHORE!!! NOW YOUR OFF MY NICE LIST YOU CUNT!!!"
Meghan held up an X sign to show Kate the plan had failed, which didn't help the situation.
Shortly after, Henri emerged with George and Garthur's camera, trying to explain why stealing was wrong. Curiously, the Cambridge children were the only children in the entire world Henri could not make like him.
After a few long minutes, the baby was ready to come out. Kate pushed one more time and felt something drop onto the couch.
'Is it out?!!!' she yelled.
Phily checked, 'no sister, you've just passed your bowels. Not to worry, keep trying'.
Kate was enraged that Phily would suggest this. 'All I'm good for is making babies, you think I dont know the difference bitch! YOUR BORN A PAUPER & YET YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU EWITH YOUR SHIT COMMENT??? FUCK OFF MOTHER FUCKER I DIDN’T ASK YOU"'
Phily, remaining calm, picked up the brown item with her bare hands, noting in her head that Kate should eat more fruit, and showed it to her.
Kate grabbed the excrement at once and threw it in Willy's face. This delighted Charlotte who danced around him in a circle chanting 'shit face, shit face'.
Finally, sick of being inside such a woman, the baby pushed itself out and landed in Phily's arms. 'William, Catherine - it's a boy', she beamed.
The Camridges faked happiness, but Henri and Phily were genuinely delighted.
'What will you call him?' Phily said, cradling the baby as Kate wanted to watch Real Housewives rather than hold him.
'Shit baby!' Charlotte suggested, but no one agreed.
'Well actually he could have a name related to his arrival' Willy said. 'How about Loo?'
'Loo is the British slang term for toilet' Henri explained to Meg.
'I have an idea!' Meg said. 'Louis - but like Loo - wee'. Kate shrugged in agreeement.
'You want to name this cherub after a toilet and urine?' Phily asked, feeling sorry for the baby despite the fact he was biting her finger with his gummy mouth.
'You have a problem with my parenting decisions Phily?' Kate asked, almost threateningly.
'Never!' Phily gasped in horror. She would never dream of being so stupid as to judge a woman on what she named, or how she held her baby.
'Charlotte darling, why dont you sing a little song to celebrate Loowee's arrival' Willy said.
Charlotte immediately began a rendition of Lily Allen's 'Fuck you'.
"Fuck you Fuck you very, very much 'Cause your words don't translate And it's getting quite late So please don't stay in touch Do you get Do you get a little kick out of being slow-minded? You want to be like your father It's approval you're after Well that's not how you find it"
***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK4fJhbRL1g
---
Two days later, while Phily, Henri and Libby were on an engagement, Meghan finally got a chance to speak to Kate again. She had been busy watching the Real Housewives marathon and telling Loowee to pipe down.
'What we gonna do about H?' Meg asked. 'He's been avoiding me since Loowee's birth'
'It's obvious he's not gonna ditch that halfwit willingly. We gotta get rid of her - for good! It's time for drastic action'. Kate pressed her engagement ring, she had a button installed in it so it would send a shock up Willy's ass when she needed him.
Willy came running, 'yes babykins?'
'Gimme your phone'.
Willy handed it over relutantly. Kate opened his messages and found his conversation with someone only identified by a Rose emoji. She texted quickly - 'get 2 Nott Cott now'.
Five minutes later there was a knock at the door. When Meg opened it, a woman who could have been a Kate impersonator stood before her.
'Meg, Rose, Rose, Meg' Kate said, not bothering with formal introductions. Willy looked sheepish in the corner (allegedly).
Meg didnt know who Rose allegedly was but she didn't care. She just wanted to know how she could help her ensnare H.
Kate explained the plan. 'As soon as Phily gets home, we're gonna feed her an apple dosed with botox. Phily is allergic to anything superficial so she'll become drowsy. That's where Rose comes in. She's a witch and with one kiss, Phily will be gone.'
Meg considered the implications of killing the future queen, but came to the conclusion it was worth it.
And so the plan was set. Meg wrote 'you are so loved Phily' on an apple and Kate injected it with the botox she always kept in her bra.
When Phily got home, she was full of the joys of spring. 'We met the most wonderful disadvantaged people today', she beamed. 'I just love saving people'.
Henri smiled lovingly at his wife, 'and they love you, belle'.
'Speaking of love!' Meg said. 'You must take this gift'. She handed her the apple and Phily was touched.
'How wonderful! I will eat it later' she said.
'No you must eat it now sister' Kate said, wearing a full hooded cloak.
'But it's time for dinner' said Phily.
'So what, eat it!' George said impatiently.
'Yeh Phily, why you gotta be so busybody?' Charlotte added.
'Oh no I really shouldnt' Phily said innocently.
'Just eat the fucking apple!' said a voice from the window. They all turned around and Philpot was riding past on his horse and cart.
'Well if grandfather says so' Phily said. She bit into the apple and immediately felt a little faint as the botox hit her pure blood.
Elegantly, she fell into Henri's big, strong arms.
'Mon amour!' Henri yelled, carrying her up the ricketty stairs swiftly.
'Oh no, what has happened?' Meg said. Her acting ability really was wasted on Suits.
'There must've been something artificial in the apple' Henri said, laying her on their handmade bed.
'How could there be?' said Kate. 'It's from your very own Orchard For the Hungry'.
Phily was still breathing but was confused.
Henri was devestated at the thought that his orchard might be to blame.
'It's ok Henners, I know a great doctor that is THE expert on allergies'. Meg said.
Just then there was a knock at the bedroom door and Rose allegedly entered wearing a white doctor's coat.
'Here she is now, this is Dr Rose, allegedly', Meg said.
Henri didnt have time to question how she got there so fast, so just said in a panicked voice, 'Dr Allegedly, please help my wife!'
'Everyone who is male and under 2 years of age must leave the room' said Rose.
'No I can not leave her!' Henri wailed, falling at Phily's bedside.
George at once knew it was his time to shine because his father was too dimwitted to defuse this situation.
'Uncle Henri, please could you tell me again why one should never dress as a member of a fascist, murdering political party? I just dont understand why it's so bad' George said sweetly.
Henri knew at once that his greater calling was to teach George right from wrong. It is what Phily would want.
He left the room with one last glance at Phily who was humming 'Once upon a dream'.
That left Kate, Meg, Rose, Charlotte and Phily.
'Get it done Rose!' whispered Kate.
'In order for the enchantment to work, you must all join hands and sing the death kiss soundtrack, the underrated classic 'Kiss from a rose' by Seal'.
***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMD2TwRvuoU
Rose kissed Phily on the lips, as the others encircled them singing hypnotically.
A pink mist left Phily's mouth and was inhaled by Rose. 'It is done'.
There was a moment of silence before Kate fell at Rose's feet and looked deeply in her eyes as she sang.
"You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know, That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen."
Meg gasped. She had been foolish. It was Kate who was allegedly having an affair with Rose, not allegedly Willy!
She didnt have time for that revelation now. She needed to check Phily was really gone.
Checking her pulse, she waited for a few moments until suddenly she felt it beat.
'Damn it Rose, she's alive!' Meg said, losing her temper.
'ARE YOU DUMB, BITCH??!' screamed Charlotte.
Rose rushed over from her alleged embrace with Kate, who had shed her cloak and was now in a real snake skin body suit.
She checked her pulse, and discovered Meg was correct. Her pulse was beating every 19.84 seconds - the year of Henri's birth.
'Oh fuck' Rose allegedly said. 'I've only heard about this happening in fairytales. When the love between husband and wife is pure, the kiss will not work to its full effect'.
Meg screamed into her hands. 'How can it be pure when H's nethers react to me?'
'That is simply a test from Jesu. The point is, Henri has resisted your advances, thus proving the purity of his love'. Rose explained to the room.
At this point, Charlotte lost it. She wanted to be back in her £4 million apartment, not this shitty dive.
'I don’t need a damn explanation about what she asked. Seriously do not act too smart about teaching me things. Asshole answer the question do not even try to be a bloody smart ass. Seriously pisses me off!!!' she yelled.
Rose looked at Kate quizically.
'A bout of Jimmutitus' Kate shrugged.
'What do we do?!' Meg said desperately.
'As long as Henri doesnt suck Phily's toe, the curse will remain in place and the princess will remain in a slumber forever' said Rose.
Kate stroked her chin, 'so technically, we could just SAY Phily's dead? As long as we keep any qualified medical staff away from her?'.
'I guess' Rose said. 'Can I go now?'.
'Yeah, bye', Kate said.
'How are we gonna keep everyone away from Phily?' Meg asked.
By this point Kate was running out of patience with her co-conspirator and her incessant questions.
'HEY FUCKER, DID I ASK YOU ANYTHING???? DID I??? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!' Kate screamed.
'Uh oh you've done it now' Charlotte sniggered.
Meghan was stunned, 'but I-i-i-i was just asking, we're running out of time'
'WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU BITCH FOR YOUR SHIT OPINION??? BLOODY FUCKING BITCH!!! GET A LIFE!!!'
'Ok ok I'm sorry Kate!'
'MAYBE IF YOU HAD SHUT THE FUCK UP I WOULDN'T BE SCOLDING YOU NOW!!! FUCKER!!! Just shut up and let me think'.
Kate closed her eyes and thought for approximately 10 seconds. In the meantime, Charlotte took off her sock and stuffed it in Meg's mouth to stop any more questions.
When Kate was done thinking, she strode over to the window and flung it open. Beneath her was the sprawling gardens of Kensington Palace.
She took a deep breath and yodelled out of the window 'EUUUUUUGBEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!!!!!!'
Meghan wanted to ask who Eugbea was but she didnt dare.
Within 5 seconds, a figure came running up the lawn. Charlotte leant on the window frame watching the woman run 'urgh her dress is SO tragic'.
'Meg get over here, lean your head back like this', Kate said.
Both woman stuck their heads out of the window and their hair tumbled to the ground.
When Eugbea reached the bottom of the window, she said 'I think I should go up the stairs'
'SHOVE WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!! Get up here!' Kate hollered.
Eugbea knew better than to argue and began climbing up the wall using the hair as ropes. Finally she made it to the top and clambered into the bedroom.
As soon as she saw Phily lying unconscious on the bed, she let out an inhumane wail. Phily was like the sister Eugbea never had.
'There there, let it out' Kate said, patting her back, suddenly kind. Charlotte stood underneath her catching her tears in her hands.
As usual, Meghan was perplexed so Charlotte filled her in whispering 'this is Eugbea, a blood princess. Blood princesses cry diamond tears so I'm collecting them to make a cage for Phily.'
Meg didnt understand how Charlotte had worked all of this out in the minute that had gone past, but she wanted it to work so bad that she too patted Eugbea's back.
Eugbea turned around nervously at the touch, 'w-w-who are you?'
'No time for that' Kate said, poking her in the eye.
Eugbea cried even more until there were enough diamonds to build the cage.
At once, Charlotte threw the diamonds in the air and they cascaded down in the shape of a dome around Phily, creating a solid diamond barrier.
Once they had ensured nobody could get through it by repeatedly shoving Eugbea against it, Kate pushed her back out of the window and slammed it shut.
'We ready girls? Put on your best sad faces'. They all turned their smiles upside down and Kate pressed her engagement ring.
Willy came flying up the stairs with the boys and Libby. Henri stormed towards his love.
'What is this!' he asked in dismay, looking at Phily through the dome.
Meg began to cry dramatically, 'Dr Rose did everything she could but it wasnt enough, she's gone!!!'
Henri fell flat on his back like a plank, 'NoOoOoOoOoOoOoooooooOOOO!'
Libby ran over and began to sing 'Memory' from Cats in a beautiful operatic voice (the musical version, not the movie one because Libby had refined tastes).
"Touch meeeeee,
It is so easy to leave meeeeee
All alone with the memoryyyyyyyy
Of my days in the suuun
If you touch me,
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has beguuuuuuuuun"
***Musical interlude*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm5w7gHEtJI
----
No public outcry was big enough for Phily. So the royal family decided to send her diamond tomb around the commonwealth via boat (not environmentally unfriendly jet) so her people could say goodbye personally. She was pulled over dying land on a horse and cart, and people threw seeds at her tomb instead of flowers. This meant that the land would become nourished once more.
Even when dead, Phily was working.
After 6 months of travelling, she returned to the UK and was placed in the Windsor Castle tomb with all the greatest kings and queens of England. Luckily for Meg, no one had noticed that Phily was indeed alive.
Henri was devestated but continued to work, alongside Libby.
The public love for Phily had meant that the Cambridges were provisionally forgiven and they moved back into KP on the condition that they undertook at least one engagement a year.
Meghan Markle had remained in Nottingham Cottage to support Henri while flying (not boating) back and forth to Canada to film her show Suits.
Meg had not tried to seduce Henri's nethers as she knew she must gain the public's trust first and act as a good friend.
But she couldnt wait any longer. Since Kate had moved home, she wanted nothing more to do with Meg, so she had concocted a new plan all by herself.
One evening, Henri was carving scultptures for the PPPCT - Princess Philanthropina Pauper Conservation Trust. Meg was in the kitchen roasting a chicken and wafting the smell towards Henri to replicate the cozy vibes Phily always managed to make.
'H, I was thinking for the 6 months anniversary of Phily's passing, we should have an event, the public need to be cheered up' she said, sounding philanthropic.
'A wonderful idea to think of the people of Britain and the commomwealth Meghan, what shall we do?'
'Mmmmmm, well what cheers the British more than anything?' she asked innocently.
'There are only 2 things that cheer Brits. Winning a sport and a royal wedding for a SENIOR member of the family', Henri said.
Meg smirked to herself, he'd bought it hook, line and sinker. 'We cant cheat in sport so maybe a royal wedding is our only option!'
'But we have no single members left that are loved enough' H said dumbly.
Meg rolled her eyes behind his back. 'Well you are single H, and no one is more loved than you!'
H gasped. 'I couldn't!'
Meg, wearing a British flag dress batted her eyelashes. 'Phily is gone and she'd want you to be happy. But she'd want you to make the British people happier'.
H thought for 1.5 seconds and decided she was right. He scolded himself for being selfish, Phily WOULD want him to serve the people above anything else.
'You're right Meghan, but who would I marry?'
'It's funny you asked because I found this in between Phily's reuable sanitary pads' she pulled out a ring box and opened it. Inside was a diamond engagement ring. 'Phily must have had it made, just in case this happened'.
H wept, 'oh my love was so kind!'.
Meg accidently on purpose dropped it on the floor and when Henri gallantly bent on one knee to pick it up, she yelled 'YES!'
'Um what?'
'YES I'LL MARRY YOU!' she grabbed Henri by the collar and pulled him into a hug, planting a big kiss on his perfect lips.
Henri was speechless. It seemed he had just proposed.
And just like that, Meghan Markle and Henri, the Prince of the People, were engaged to be married!
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Sugden-Dingle Actually
Happy Valentines Day! @weloveweird
Sugeden-Dingle Actually
It all started with a seemingly innocent comment from Ellis during a tea break in the portacabin. He mentioned wanting to take Vic out to dinner to a new restaurant in Hotten on Valentines day and how happy he was that he’d managed to get a table.
“What are you guys up to for Valentines? Any big plans? Being newlyweds and all that.”
Aaron had scoffed at that.
“We’re not newlyweds, we got married in October.”
“That’s only a few months.” Ellis shrugged.
“It’s our anniversary next week. And it’s Liv’s birthday on the 16th so we’ve decided not to do anything special for Valentines day.” Robert told him.
Ellis raised an eyebrow at that.
“Your first valentines day as a married couple and you’re not doing anything?”
“We’re going to Liverpool for the weekend next week. See Seb and spend the day with him. And then get a hotel in the city.”
“Exactly.” Robert added before frowning at his phone screen when it started ringing. “Rebecca? Is everything ok? Is Seb alright?” He asked when he answered the call.
“Yes, he’s fine, but can you come get him please? I need you to take him for a few days.”
“Uh… ok… are you alright?” Robert asked, looking around for his car keys.
“Ross is taking me down to London for a few days for Valentines day.” She said as if that explained everything.
“Ok… and you can’t take Seb with you to London?”
“Well… no. It’s only a room for two people, you know, and we’re not planning on leaving it much. So we won’t have time to look after Seb.”
Robert made a face when he realised what she meant.
“Right. Noted. When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow. So come get him tonight and you can bring him back next weekend when you were going to come visit anyway. We won’t be home until Tuesday.”
“Alright… sure. Write down in your book that we’re having him until next weekend then. So you won’t forget why he’s with us.”
“I won’t forget where my son is, Robert.” Rebecca snapped and Robert rolled his eyes.
“I’m on my way. Can you make sure his bag is packed? I’ll ring you when I get to Liverpool.” He said and hung up after saying goodbye to Rebecca.
“Everything alright?” Aaron asked.
“Rebecca has decided she want us to have Seb until next weekend so she can go shag Ross in London. Her words, not mine.”
Aaron frowned.
“Right. Great.”
“I better get going or I’ll get stuck in traffic.”
“Take my car, his seat is in there.” Aaron said, holding out his keys for Robert to take.
“Thanks.” Robert said and pressed a quick kiss goodbye to his lips. “I’ll see you at home when I get back.” He said and left.
Ellis waited until the sound of tires on the gravel outside had died down before turning to Aaron.
“So what are you really planning for Valentines day?”
“I told you, nothing special.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. We talked about it and we decided not to do anything. Just a take out and a film at home or something.”
“Right.”
“What?”
“It’s not very romantic is it? What did you do last year?”
“We… weren’t together last year. I was technically seeing someone else.” Aaron said after a moment.
“Technically?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Alright. And the year before? Vic mentioned you’ve been together a few years.”
Aaron nodded.
“We didn’t do anything special that year.” He told him, leaving out the details. “We got married in the pub a week after that. Well… more like in the garage. It’s a long story.” He added when Ellis’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. “We’ve just… never really made a big deal out of it. It’s just another day isn’t it?”
“Sure mate. Not everyone is into the big romantic gestures thing, eh?” Ellis said and drank the last of his tea before shrugging his hi-vis vest back on. “I better crack on with that car out there so maybe my boss will let me knock off early.” He grinned and left Aaron alone with his thoughts.
Maybe Ellis had a point. It was their first Valentines day as a married couple. The first one in their entire relationship where they were together, and happy, and no impending doom looming in the near future. Maybe he should plan something special for Robert.
He grabbed his phone and felt like the world’s biggest idiot for googling ‘romantic valentines ideas’. Robert was his husband, the person he knew better than anyone else in the world, some BuzzFeed list wasn’t going to help here.
He decided to ask Vic for Sarah Sugden’s lasagne recipe. Robert had mentioned and even made it for them a few times and Aaron knew it was more than a simple recipe to him.
Only when Vic sent him the recipe a little while later he realised it was a lot more work than he thought, and also slightly above the level of his culinary skills. Not wanting a repeat of the year before, Aaron gave up on the idea of cooking something special for his husband.
He turned back to google and ended up scrolling through endless lists of sexy, crazy, lovely, cute, and all kinds of other adjectives valentines day surprises and Pinterest pages of dinner tables and king size beds covered in rose petals.
He hated all of it. Candlelit dinners, sexy underwear, and rose petals just wasn’t them.
Robert much preferred him in a suit, or out of it for that matter, and candles with Seb in the house was a big no. Just like rose petals on the bed. It might look nice in pictures but it would be a nightmare to clean up afterwards.
He jumped when his phone rang and a picture of his family showed up on the screen.
“Rob. Everything ok?”
“Yeah, fine. We’re taking a little detour because the M62 is madness today. Do you want me to pick up some food on the way home? Chinese? Or pizza.”
“You’ve already got Seb?” Aaron asked, only now realising how much time had passed since Robert had left.
“Yeah, of course. I know you think speed limits are merely suggestions but even when you stick to them it doesn’t take that long to get to Liverpool, you know.” Robert teased and Aaron could hear Seb babbling in the background.
“Yeah that’s right Seb, daddy Aaron is being silly.
Aaron smiled.
“Hey Seb, don’t listen to daddy Robert, he’s being a prat. As usual.” He joked and they both laughed. “Just get home both of you. We’ll get a couple of pizzas from David’s.”
They spent the evening having a cartoon marathon with Seb (and Liv calling them both losers for being just as into them as the little boy) and taking their time bathing him and tucking him into bed (and reading him two stories instead of one) and Aaron felt content. The stress and doubts from that afternoon forgotten.
Until they settled down in front of the tv and everything seemed to revolve around the perfect date for Valentines day, that was. If Robert could put together a wedding in 24 hours, surely he could do the same with a romantic night for two?
He waited until Robert had dozed off on the sofa and resisted the urge to snuggle up beside him. Instead, he carefully grabbed his laptop and dove back into his research from that afternoon. Only still nothing really seemed to fit them. Not in the least because all of the tips and ideas were based on straight couples. Girls putting on sexy lingerie for their man, and guys taking their girlfriends out to fancy restaurants after surprising them with expensive jewellery.
Robert liked the finer things in life but Aaron also knew he loved their curry and beer dates in the pub. And getting an expensive gift and a table in a restaurant at the last minute just wasn’t going to happen.
It was nearing 2AM when Seb started crying and woke Robert up.
Robert, who was dead to the world as soon as his head hit the pillow, or the back of the sofa in this case, now woke up whenever their little boy needed him. Robert had really grown into being the best dad possible and Aaron loved that about him.
“What time is it?” Robert mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Late.” Aaron said, closing his computer. “He probably needs changing. I’ll get him, you go to bed.”
Robert nodded, kissed Aaron goodnight and went upstairs to their bedroom while Aaron tended to Seb.
The next morning Robert surprised him with breakfast in bed. Which had been exactly Aaron’s idea. Robert always claimed he made the world’s best fry up, so that’s what he’d planned to surprise him with. Only he’d forgotten to set his alarm earlier than usual and Robert had beaten him to it.
“Happy Valentines day.” Robert said as he placed the tray on his lap and kissed him.
Fresh juice and heart shaped pieces of toast.
“Liv is getting Seb up and fed so we can have a little lie in.”
“Oh…ok. I thought we weren’t doing anything special?”
“Orange juice and toast is hardly special, is it?” Robert replied, smiling around a bite of toast.
It turned out ‘nothing special’ to Robert meant post its stuck around the house, his car, and his desk in the portacabin with reasons why Robert loves him written on it, and an empty house for the afternoon while Liv was at college, and Seb at wishing well with Sam and Lydia and his new best friend Spamela.
Aaron loved it and hated it at the same time.
“Hey, are you alright?” Robert asked, tracing patterns on his bare chest while propping himself up on his elbow in their bed. “You’re so quiet.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired. Seb kept me up half the night.” Aaron replied and gave him a quick smile and a kiss, hoping Robert would be satisfied with that answer and drop the subject.
“No, come on, I know that’s not it. Talk to me.”
Aaron sighed.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine. Forget it. We should get dressed and pick up Seb.”
“Seb is fine with Sam and Lydia. He loves them and that pig. Talk to me.” Robert pushed. “Did I do something wrong?”
“What? No. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You’re amazing. I love you.” Aaron said and kissed Robert again for emphasis.
“I love you too.” Robert replied. “But tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Nothing. It’s stupid.”
“I’m sure it’s not.”
Aaron sighed again. Of course Robert wouldn’t let it drop.
“Come on, we promised we’d talk to each other, remember?”
Aaron sat up against the headboard of their bed and waited for Robert to do the same.
“Nothing is wrong, I promise. Everything is perfect… but…”
“Is it too much? I know we said we wouldn’t do anything special but… -”
“It’s not too much but I haven’t done anything for you. You made me breakfast, and then all those little notes, and now an afternoon in bed. You do everything and I wanted to do something special for you too but you beat me to it. Every time.” Aaron explained, exasperated.
Robert laughingly shook his head.
“Come here you idiot.” He said and pulled Aaron closer. “This is not a competition. I love you, I want to be with you, always.”
“I know… but… I just… wanted to do something nice for you too.”
Robert grinned.
“What we just did definitely classes as nice.”
Aaron affectionately rolled his eyes.
“Is that all you want me for, eh? Sex?”
“Among other things.” Robert joked and then turned serious. “Aaron you believed in me when no-one else did, you gave me a home, a family, you love me, you made me feel like I belong somewhere again. Like I belong here. That’s all I need. I don’t need gifts or big romantic gestures. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.” He said and pulled Aaron in for a kiss.
“Soft lad.” Aaron said and Robert just grinned. “Just… let me do something for you every once in a while, yeah?”
“Aaron it’s not a co -”
“Competition. Yeah I know. But I want to, ok? I want to. So just let me take care of you for the rest of the day alright? I’ll go get Seb and make dinner for us.”
“You? Cooking? Is that a good idea?” Robert teased.
“I can cook.” Aaron replied, slightly indignant, which made Robert laugh.
“Just no pasta from scratch, alright? That’s my department. You’ll get your flower to egg ratio all wrong again.”
Aaron grinned.
“Alright MasterChef Sugden, no pasta.”
“It’s Sugden-Dingle, actually.”
#weloveweird#robron#robron fanfiction#robron secret valentine#robronsecretvalentine#fanfiction#seb white
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Chase Koeneke’s Top 10 Handheld Games of 2018
2018 could’ve been a bummer of a year. The game I was most excited about – Fire Emblem: Three Houses – got pushed to 2019. We were getting a new Pokemon game...but it was based on a mobile game and was fundamentally changing the formula I loved. And outside of Smash Bros., there was little left I was anticipating.
And yet, 2018 turned out to be a fantastic year in handheld gaming. I got a turn-based strategy game that’s up there with any Fire Emblem game I’ve ever played. That Pokemon game ended up being pretty great! And there were a bevy of unexpected indies that kept me entertained all year long. Here are my top 10 handheld games from 2018 (as well as a few honorable mentions).
Honorable Mentions: Mark of the Ninja Remastered, Gris, Kingdom Rush Vengeance, Donut County, West of Loathing
10. Minit (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)
I like to take my time in games – fully exploring worlds, talking to NPCs, reading item descriptions. In that sense, Minit, a top-down Zelda-style game that only allows you to play in one-minute sessions should be my nightmare. But it’s not. In fact, I really liked it. Minit’s limitations freed me from my thinking and made me engage with the game on its level. In a world dominated by GPS and a games’ landscape dominated by easily accessible maps, there’s something refreshingly challenging having to commit the area to memory and make plans on not only what to do next, but how to make it there in time.
9. Golf Peaks (iOS, PC)
I’m bad at real golf, but golf video games, especially the ones that don’t try to meticulously recreate the sport, are my jam. Mario Golf on the Game Boy Color is one of my favorite games ever. Golf Story was one of my favorite games last year. And Golf Peaks takes that crown in 2018. Golf Peaks expertly mixes golf, card and puzzle mechanics to make for a uniquely pleasing combination. New obstacles are layered in world by world and get increasingly bizarre, until what you’re playing is barely recognizable as golf. Golf Peaks feels meticulously crafted, and it makes for a difficult, but rewarding experience. Unfortunately, because it’s so bespoke, it’s a finite experience, and once you’ve completed it, there’s little reason to revisit it. A new world has been added since the game’s release, but after completing it in less than an hour, I��m back to waiting for more.
8. Alto’s Odyssey (iOS, Android)
Alto’s Adventure was one of my favorite games of 2015, a gorgeous and fun take on the infinite runner genre. Alto’s Odyssey further refines the formula by adding in even more things to do. The silky-smooth jumps, grinds and backflips return, along with the sublime wingsuit power-up, but they are joined by Tony Hawk-style wall rides that add a new dimension to the game. With uniquely skilled characters to unlock and upgrades to literally and figuratively grind for, Odyssey will keep you busy for a long time. It’s one of those rare phone games that’s good for play sessions both long and short, and its action never gets old.
7. Final Fantasy XV: Pocket Edition (iOS, Android, Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)
I was intrigued by Final Fantasy XV on the PS4, but ultimately bounced off its combat and general milling about. Pocket Edition fixes both of those issues and lets me enjoy what I really like about the game: its story and its characters. The miniaturized version of FFXV has turned it into a linear game with simplified controls (touch controls if you’re playing the phone version). The way it retains quite a bit of the themes and depth (and voice acting) of the original game despite streamlining it never ceased to impress me. And weirdly, playing Pocket Edition has actually reawakened my desire to play the original game. I want to see this treatment given to other Final Fantasy games.
6. Florence (iOS, Android)
Florence is not a game I would traditionally play on a phone. It’s not an infinitely replayable, puzzling experience like Threes or Drop7 or even a Kingdom Rush. But it is an experience, and one I deeply appreciated. Florence made me feel more than any other game this year, and it did it in a game that takes only about a half hour. It tells a mundane, yet impactful story about relationships. It’s beautiful. It’s funny. It’s tragic. But most of all, it’s real, and it uses its touchscreen controls to great effect to make you feel like you are an active participant in the story. It’s somehow simultaneously abstract and extremely specific, and I think it’s something everyone should witness.
5. Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee (Switch)
This is the Metal Gear Solid 2 of Pokemon. Let me explain. In MGS2, you play as Raiden, and you learn that you are being put through a similar adversity to the original MGS’ Shadow Moses Island in the hopes of turning you into another legendary hero like Solid Snake.
In Pokemon Let’s Go, things start familiar enough to anyone who’s played the first generation of Pokemon games (particularly, Yellow). You get a starter, you battle your rival, you face Brock and Misty and the other gym leaders and you stumble into and interrupt a nefarious Team Rocket plot. It’s all there. Except then you run into Blue, who is the real rival from the first generation of Pokemon. Which means your rival isn’t your rival. And you aren’t you. It’s fascinating and I ended up loving it.
Mechanically, it’s a weird mix of adding from more recent games while also stripping away complexity. Mega Evolutions are in. Held items are out. HMs are out. Steel, dark and fairy types are in. And there are some brand-new mechanics like catch combos that are a fun and new way to engage with Pokemon. It’s not all rainbows (I’m still not sold on the GO-style catching system,) but I hope the next mainline Pokemon game takes a little inspiration from these games. And I hope they remake Gold and Silver in this style too.
4. Holedown (iOS/Android)
Holedown became my go-to phone game for most of 2018. While you can beat it in a manner of hours, the game is so addictively fun and replayable with its final, seemingly endless level that you’ll be happy to dive back in again and again to improve your score. Holedown is satisfying in every sense of the word. Endorphins rush when you see and hear massive streams of balls ping-ponging off walls. Hitting the perfect angle to keep the combo going higher and higher is intensely gratifying. It’s so easy to play and understand, and yet you’ll be learning new tricks after your hundredth attempt. Holedown rules. Play Holedown.
3. Super Robot Wars X (Vita, PS4)
OK, this one’s a bit of a stretch. Super Robot Wars is not available in the US last I checked (though it is available in English.) Also, I did not play its handheld Vita version. Instead I played it on the PS4. So, on one hand, this game doesn’t really belong on this list. On the other hand, I love Super Robot Wars X so much, so it’s staying.
This was my first dip into the series and immediately found it to be an incredibly dense and confusing experience. It’s a turn-based strategy game like Fire Emblem, which sounds right up my alley, but the number of things to account for is staggering. To list all its mechanics would be a daunting exercise. Slowly, but surely, I learned to engage with more and more systems until finally, I felt like I could see the code, that I had entered the Matrix. I suddenly knew strategy game kung-fu. The game would set up almost impossible odds and, sometimes after an insane amount of consideration, I’d find a solution. I could boost the range on one weapon for the one turn I need it. Or maybe that shield I’ve never used would actually come in handy here. Oh wait, this pilot has a special skill I could utilize. The solutions are always there, you just have to look for them. It’s a beast of a game, but one I became utterly mesmerized with.
2. Dead Cells (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)
I jealously watched early access PC players make run after run on Dead Cells. I heard people extol the game’s virtues on countless podcasts, and then, finally, the game released on Switch and I too could experience its splendor. And boy, did it deliver. Dead Cells bends over backwards to tailor the game experience to you. It allows you to choose what and when to unlock new skills, letting you further customize your arsenal as you play. It accounts for novice players who need to take their time getting through its sprawling levels while also providing options for crafty veterans who are able to speed through its content. And yet, as much as it caters, you’ll inevitably get to a point in your run where the game says “OK, now we’re going to test you.” I have failed that test every time. I have not beaten Dead Cells. But I am damn sure ready to try again.
1. Into The Breach (Switch, PC)
Where Super Robot Wars X is a turn-based mech strategy game on a macro scale, with an inconceivable amount of systems and options to deal with for your double-digit army of robotic fighters, Into The Breach stuffs all the same intensity into a comparably tiny grid and only a trio of battlers. It maintains the perfect amount of complexity, making every unit, every weapon, every move and every choice matter. It’s the ultimate chess game. And just when you think you’ve wrapped your head around its mechanics, it hands you a new team of mechs that plays completely differently. Runs are short, but meaningful, and the optional challenges (that let you unlock more new teams) push you out of your comfort zone to learn new strategies. Not only is it my favorite game of the year by a country mile, it might be one of the best games of all time.
#goty#gotggoty2018#chase koeneke#minit#golf peaks#alto's odyssey#final fantasy xv pocket edition#florence#pokemon let's go#holedown#super robot wars x#dead cells#into the breach
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The Importance of Ramen
Kagome placed the large plastic bottle of antiseptic and package of swabs into the plastic shopping basket, and then consulted her shopping list again. They had run low on so many vital supplies that she carried in her medical kit recently, and she wanted to make sure that everything was restocked before the group set off on their next jewel shard hunt. The basket was already full to the brim of various creams, pain relieving medicines and bandages that would be useful once she headed back down the well. She hefted it onto her hip, groaning slightly as she tried to balance the weight, and shuddered to think how it was all going to fit into her yellow backpack. And she still had to get snacks! She knew a certain hanyou would be most upset with her if she didn't reappear bearing a considerable amount of ramen.
Snorting to herself, she made her way to the next aisle, browsing all the different snack options for her friends. After some deliberation, she picked up some matcha flavoured Pocky for Shippo, some strawberry mochi for Sango, and some teriyaki flavoured potato chips for Miroku. She needed to get a move on; she had somehow convinced Souta to help her carry all the shopping bags back to the shrine as Mama was busy with a guest, and she knew if she took too long he would get impatient and just go back home.
Kagome moved into the next aisle and considered all the different ramen options. Usually she bought the ones already packaged in a bowl for convenience sake while they were hunting shards, but there were some of the square packaged ones on special. And the multipacks with ten packages in each were on sale too. She looked at them, hesitating. Even though these would fit into her backpack much more efficiently, because they were square and not a bowl shape, how would they eat them when they were on the road? Suddenly remembering an item she'd seen in a previous aisle, she grabbed a few multipacks of ramen, and then headed back to where she'd seen some tin mugs. She placed five of them in the basket, staggering slightly at the weight. This definitely wouldn't all fit in her backpack – she might have to make a few trips when she went down the well, or perhaps she could keep all the food in shopping bags to take back instead of putting it into her backpack. Actually, if she waited long enough, Inuyasha would probably come barging belligerently through the well demanding she return, and she wouldn't have to carry it all herself.
Grinning at the idea, she made her way over to the checkout counter, placing all her items next to the register, and smiled pleasantly at the checkout lady. Her items were quickly rung up and placed into the plastic shopping bags, and Kagome handed over the money Mama had given her to the friendly woman, who pleasantly inquired after Kagome's family at the shrine. Kagome was just about to pick up her bags and make some inane remark about hoping that the woman would have a nice afternoon, when a jerky movement behind her made her turn her head, causing her eyes to widen in surprise.
It was a youngish man, dressed in black jeans, black motorcycle boots, and a black hoodie, with the hood pulled forward covering the top half of his face. The warm afternoon sun which streamed through the wide front windows of the supermarket gleamed on the beads of sweat marking his top lip, and also on the large serrated hunting style knife he had thrust out in front of him in both hands.
"Alright, nobody moves!", bellowed the man. "Empty all the notes in the cash register into a shopping bag quickly, and nobody gets hurt!"
Kagome unconsciously took a half step backward, getting herself into better fighting stance, causing the man to flick the knife in her direction threateningly. "Where do you think you're going, bitch!", the man growled, taking a step in her direction. He swivelled his head back towards the checkout lady and bellowed "Money, NOW!".
Kagome put her hands up in front of her in a non-threatening manner, hoping to placate the man. She could see behind the man's shoulder - a mother and her children, one of the mother's hands holding the chubby fist of a little boy, probably no more than three years old, and the other cradling a tiny baby, barely visible in a cloth sling. Kagome was terrified that the little boy might panic and grab the man's attention. He was already hiding behind his mother's voluminous patterned skirt, his tiny sneakers shuffling backwards, his wide eyes filling with tears. The man's yelling had obviously frightened him. She could see the mother trying to soundlessly draw her children back away from the danger, placing her son behind her, and curling her arm protectively around the baby. The mother's determined but fearful eyes met Kagome's. Kagome tried to reassure her with a tiny smile, and knew that she somehow needed to keep this man's attention on herself, without getting her and anyone else injured. She hoped someone in the store had heard the confrontation and had called the police, but right now she needed to keep a level head, even though her heart was beating so strongly it felt like it was leaping out of her chest. She flicked her eyes sideways to the cashier, who was quickly filling a grocery bag with cash, her expression neutral with her mouth stretched in a flat line. Good, the cashier wasn't panicking. Hopefully the guy would quickly take his money and run, and everyone would be fine. Kagome's tiny smile widened fractionally. It was all going to be ok.
"What are you smiling at, bitch!", yelled the man, suddenly drawing her attention back to the knife waving erractically in front of her. "You think this is funny do you!" The knife glinted again, the reflected light flashing, and she could see that the man's hands were shaking. Crap. He was frightened, and in Kagome's limited battle experience in feudal Japan, frightened people made bad decisions. She needed to wrap this up, fast, before someone got hurt. If she had her bow, she could just smack him across his arms and make him drop the knife, but her bow was five hundred years in the past. What would the others do? Sango would probably drop him with some expert kick, but Kagome had never learned how to do that, and now would not be a good time to try. Mirokou would use his hefty metal shakujo to knock him aside, Shippou would startle him with fox fire, and Inuyasha… well, Inuyasha would just straight out clobber him. Probably not the best option at this point. She could see the guy getting more and more agitated, this was getting dangerous. She would just have to handle this in her own way, to the best of her ability.
Kagome kept her hands in front of her, trying to keep the guy calm, trying to buy the cashier and the mother more time.
"Hey, I wasn't laughing at you. Um, I was just thinking of a friend, you know. I... I was picking up groceries for him, he's always a little grumpy, and when he's hungry and I've kept him waiting he's even worse. He really likes ramen, so I was getting him a whole new stash to keep him happy. Lots of different flavours. So far, I haven't found a flavour he doesn't like. Um, do you like ramen?"
Kagome knew she was babbling now, but the guy still had his eyes on her, so who cares if she sounded like a crazy woman? The mother had almost made it back behind a sturdy wooden stand that displayed potatoes and onions. Kagome was thankful, the little family group should be safe there until this was all over. The cashier was still calm, although her hands shook slightly in her effort to meet the man's shouted demands to quickly finish emptying the till. Kagome started inching slowly to the left, trying to get nearer to her bags of groceries, never breaking eye contact.
"I've got a knife pointed at you, and you're thinking of fucking ramen?", the guy asked her, looking at her incredulously. Suddenly, in the distance, they could hear the sound of sirens. The cashier let out a frightened squeal when the guy made a lunge for the plastic shopping bag that she had just finished filling with notes. Unfortunately for him, his sudden grab split the thin white plastic, sending the paper banknotes flying into the air, fluttering around them like blossoms blowing in the breeze.
"Fuck!", he screamed, and turned, ready to run before the police arrived, but Kagome was in between him and the only exit. He was shaking violently now, his eyes wide in fear, and Kagome suddenly knew that he was beyond reasoning with. Time seemed to slow down, but she had no time to think. She shot out her left hand and grabbed the first thing her hand touched, thrusting it out in front of her protectively as the knife came straight towards her chest. She was pushed backwards by the violence of the thrust, catching her hip on the edge of a display board announcing today's special prices. Kagome's body twisted, wrenching the knife out of her attacker's hand. He took one wide-eyed look at her, half sprawled at the end of the checkout, and hearing the sirens getting even closer, he bolted out the door.
Kagome took a deep breath in, and sighed it out again. She was still running on adrenaline, and suddenly she longed to be instantly on the other side of the well, in the peacefulness of Kaede's village, surrounded by her friends. The last place she wanted to be was here in modern Tokyo, waiting around for police to arrive and answering questions. There were plenty of other witnesses here that could do that. She thrust the object in her hands back into the closest shopping bag, caught the terrified eyes of the cashier and the mother, who had now emerged back out from behind the safety of the vegetable stand, and in a shaky voice that didn't quite sound like herself, announced "Well, at least no one got hurt. Hope the rest of your day is better!", and strode quickly out the door, with her shopping bags clutched in each white-fingered fist.
Souta was still leaning against the brick wall of the supermarket, waiting outside for her. His large headphones covered his ears, and he was nodding to the beat of whatever music he was listening to. Looking up, he noticed Kagome walking out of the supermarket doors, and shifted the headphones downward to hang around his neck. He held out his hands to take some of the bags.
"Hey, sis? Is everything ok? I heard lots of yelling coming from inside the supermarket, and then this guy came pelting out the door."
Kagome grinned at him, her heart still beating frantically in her chest. She didn't want to frighten Souta, especially if he hadn't already noticed anything.
"Nah, nothing to get too worried about, just an irate customer", she replied cheerfully. "Do you think you could help me carry these bags straight to the well? I've decided I'm not going to stay for dinner, you know how Inuyasha gets when he's kept waiting for his ramen."
Souta snorted, and nodded. "No problem, Kagome. Mama was gonna make karaage tonight for dinner, so that just means there'll be extra helpings for me! Consider it payment for being your pack horse!" He grinned at her cheekily, grabbing a couple of grocery bags off her, and they made their way quickly back to the shrine.
Kagome stepped through the door into the dim interior of the small shed that housed the shrine's well, her battered yellow backpack already on her shoulders. She had restocked it with clean clothes, study materials and toiletries this morning before school, knowing she would return to the village this evening, and had left it waiting in preparation near the back door. Thankfully, her preparations made for a quick getaway, as she was able to scoop it up and holler a quick goodbye through the door to her Mama and Grandpa without them asking too many awkward questions. Her mother had some sort of sixth sense where the emotional well-being of her children was concerned, and Kagome really didn't want to delay her return to the village any longer.
Picking up the shopping bags dumped on the dirt floor by Souta just a few minutes earlier, she dropped into the well, feeling the familiar stomach-churning pull of dropping back five centuries, and landed at the bottom of the well in Inuyasha's time. Now that the adrenaline of the shopping incident was beginning to wear off, she was starting to feel a little shaky. There was no way she could carry four heavy shopping bags and the backpack up the ladder to the top.
"Inuyasha?", she called out hopefully, crossing her fingers mentally that he would be waiting for her as usual at the top of the well.
"About time, wench", he called back grumpily, and dropped down into the well beside her, with a dull thump. He eyed the extra shopping bags hungrily, and she grinned at him, glad to be back.
"Help me get all this stuff up out of the well, and you can have a serving of ramen tonight for dinner", she smiled at him. "I bought extra, so there should be plenty still left for when we head back out to look for jewel shards."
"Keh. My idea of plenty and yours are totally different", grumbled Inuyasha, rolling his eyes at her, but he didn't complain as he bent down low so that she could climb up onto his back, still wearing the backpack. He clutched two shopping bags in each clawed fist and nimbly jumped to the top of the well, landing in the soft uncut grass. Kagome sniffed appreciatively, breathing in the pollution free air, admiring the late afternoon sunlight and the chirping sounds of the crickets in the long grass around them. It was good to be back after three days of being stuck in a stuffy classroom, trying to fill her head with an eye watering quantity of facts.
Inuyasha plopped down cross legged into the long grass, disturbing a few grasshoppers and cabbage white butterflies, and began rummaging in the plastic shopping bags, while Kagome hefted the heavy backpack off her shoulders. He pushed aside the two bags containing medical supplies, and eagerly tipped out one of the bags that contained mostly ramen. Kagome stretched, rubbing her shoulders, glad to have been able to put down her heavy backpack. Her modern history textbook really was ridiculously heavy.
"Oi, Kagome…"
"Mmm?", she replied, rubbing her neck to get out the kinks.
"Why does my ramen have a fucking knife sticking out of it!?" Inuyasha growled suspiciously. "And…" he sniffed the knife, and then rapidly jumped to his feet, dropping the ramen encased knife and sniffing her instead. Kagome spluttered at him, wanting to walk backwards, but unable to, as the edge of the well was behind her. Inuyasha put a halt to his sniffing when his attention was drawn to a small rip and stain on her school shirt. With a low growl, he jerked the hem of her white uniform shirt away from the waistband of her green school skirt and started lifting it, trying to peer underneath. Kagome slapped at his hands frantically in embarrassment.
"What do you think you're doing, you jerk!?", she screeched, continuing the slapping motions of her hands as he refused to give up the hold on her shirt.
Inuyasha glowered at her, refusing to give an inch. "There's blood on the knife Kagome. Your blood."
Kagome's eyes widened, and Inuyasha yanked her shirt up again. Just to the left of her sternum, near the scalloped edge of her once pale pink bra, was a shallow gash which had already stopped bleeding. The small amount of padding in her bra had seemingly soaked up most of the blood, stopping it from staining the front of her shirt apart from a small smear. The skin around the gash was bruised, already starting to turn a deep purple. Kagome looked down at the injury she hadn't even realised she had, starting to feel a cold sensation wash over her, as well as a prickling feeling along her scalp, and suddenly decided it would be best for all concerned if she sat down. She plonked down unsteadily into the grass and leaned her back against the side of the well, looking back up at Inuyasha.
Inuyasha glared at the knife plunged up to the hilt through the centre of the multipack of ramen with half an inch of the blade protruding through the package, and back to Kagome's suddenly pale face and the bruised slice in her skin, and then back to the knife. He could smell the sudden stench of sweat and fear that rolled off of Kagome, and he didn't like it, not one bit. He sat down next to her abruptly, leaning his shoulder into hers, and said gruffly, "Alright wench, explain."
Kagome rubbed the back of her neck nervously, pulling her shirt back down. "Well, I ran into a bit of trouble when I was shopping…". And she began to explain about the man and the knife, and the mother with the children. This wasn't going well. She could feel Inuyasha's shoulder trembling with suppressed anger next to her, and she knew the explosion was coming. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was time to brace for impact in three, two, one...
"Of all the stupid, idiotic things you could have done, woman! As soon as you saw that knife, you should have bailed out of there!" Inuyasha jumped to his feet, and began pacing backwards and forwards in front of her.
Kagome glared back at him, feeling her own righteous anger building. She was tired of being called stupid, as well as weak, and frail and all the other half baked insults that Inuyasha had flung her way over the last few months. She was so going to sit him, but she was going to give him a piece of her mind first! Kagome leapt to her feet, bristling with indignation, and prodded him sharply on the chest with her forefinger.
"Weren't you listening at all?! There were children there, that could have gotten hurt! Souta was outside, if that guy had decided to chase me out of the supermarket, he could have gotten hurt! I… I thought I did pretty well, considering I didn't have my bow with me. Sure, he was a lot bigger than me, but the guy was human, Inuyasha. I'm used to fighting demons, and I thought… well, I just thought about what you all would have done. And not one of you would have run away! Especially not you! And… and... besides…", she finished lamely, suddenly running out of steam, "I would have had to leave all the medical supplies and your ramen… behind..."
Inuyasha scowled furiously, and then bent down and snatched up the large package of ramen with the knife still thrust through it and shoved it aggressively in front of her face. "Stupid girl! If not for this fucking bag of ramen, you'd be dead! That cut is right over your heart! Do you think groceries are worth your life?!" His free hand clutched her shoulder, squeezing slightly as tried to get his message across. Suddenly he dropped his hand and turned away from her, growling out her name in seeming frustration. "Aaargh! Kagome!"
"I know that, ok! Don't you think I know that?" Kagome slumped down against the well again like a deflated balloon, flopping her hands limply into the grass, and resting her head against her propped-up knees. All the emotional upheaval of the afternoon had drained her. She had never felt so heavy.
Inuyasha continued to pace aggressively in front of Kagome. He stopped suddenly, sniffed the handle of the knife, and then his mouth curled up in a disturbing fanged grin that held no humour.
"Keh! That fucker's scent is still on the handle. If I go down the well right now, I'm sure I could get him. That prick's gonna pay for threatening you!" He dumped the package on the ground, but just as he was about to jump down the well, he felt a slight tug on the leg of his hakama.
"Please…" Her voice was so quiet he could barely hear it, the pale hand on his red hakama was trembling slightly. Her face was still buried against her knees, her long black curls covering the sides of her legs, but he could smell the faint hint of salty tears. "Please… stay."
Inuyasha growled. His demon side wanted nothing better than to find that sorry sack of human shit and rend him limb from limb. He could do it. He was sure no one would miss that fucker. But Kagome had asked him to stay. She had said please. She was crying. Abruptly he reefed the knife from the package and hurled it into the forest with an angry roar, to get it as far away from him and Kagome as possible. Then he sat down and pulled her sideways into his lap, draping her legs across his thighs and wrapping his arms around her tightly, burying his nose in her scent and dark hair.
Kagome pushed her face into the furred red robe covering Inuyasha's chest, letting out a single heart-rending sob. He whined at her softly, stroking her glossy hair, rubbing his cheek against her. She gave a great sigh, then grabbed one of Inuyasha's silver forelocks, winding it around her finger.
"Do you know what I was thinking about when I walked home to the shrine from the supermarket?", Kagome began, hesitantly. Inuyasha stroked her soft hair, his claws combing through gently, silently waiting for her to continue. "I thought, for months, I've been battling bad ass demons and monsters, but I was almost taken down by some petty crim in a grocery store, in the future, where it's meant to be safer!", she breathed with a laugh, which sounded more like a sob. "You weren't with me. You... you wouldn't have seen me die. And you would never have known how... important you are to me." The hand in her hair stopped suddenly. "I needed to come back to see you. I need you in my life Inuyasha."
Abruptly, it seemed like the whole world had gone silent, had stopped spinning. Was her heart even beating? She felt a soft kiss, barely the weight of a butterfly, land briefly on the top of her head. "I need you in my life too, Kagome", Inuyasha murmured, so softly she could barely hear his voice. The stroking of her hair returned, and the world began to move again.
And suddenly, Kagome felt content. Just for a moment she was happy to forget about Naraku, about Kikyo, about the shard collecting, and was willing to just be a girl, Kagome, sitting with a boy (well, more than a boy), Inuyasha, sharing a moment together. She sighed peacefully, never wanting this perfect moment to end.
"You're never going to the supermarket without me again."
Kagome giggled, and twirled her finger in Inuyasha's forelock again, which glinted silver in the fading sunlight. "It really isn't usually that dangerous, Inuyasha. Something like this will probably never happen again."
"Keh. Probably. Fuck that. From now on, if you need to buy anything, you can do it when I'm there. And then you can buy twice as much ramen, 'cause I'll be there to carry it. Much better. I prefer my ramen un-fucking-stabbed."
Kagome giggled again. She looked at the sunset beginning to paint the feather like clouds scattered across the sky with hues of orange and pink. It would be getting dark soon. They should probably head to Kaede's hut and help with dinner. She was actually surprised that Shippou hadn't already appeared at the well demanding a treat like he usually did.
Suddenly Inuyasha pushed Kagome gently off his lap, and began rummaging in the bags again. Kagome smiled at him. "Are you that hungry already?", she grinned. But her eyes widened when she saw him holding the bottle of antiseptic, with swabs and a medium sized bandage.
"Inuyasha", she said uncertainly, "I really don't think…"
"Kagome, let me do this. If I can't hunt down that prick that hurt you, at least let me fix this", he demanded, gesturing towards her chest.
Kagome bit her bottom lip, and then nodded her assent. He plonked himself down next to her on his knees, and she shyly raised her ripped, slightly stained shirt up over her breasts, revealing once again the bruised slash in her skin near her blood-stained bra. Inuyasha tipped a splash of antiseptic onto the cotton swab, and then leaned back, holding his breath. "Keh, I'd forgotten how much this stuff stinks!"
Kagome started lowering her shirt. "Inuyasha, you don't have to…"
His free hand gently stopped the lowering of her shirt, and then pushed it up again. "I know I don't", he sighed. "But I want to Kagome. You're always taking care of me. Let me take care of you for a change."
He gently wiped the dried blood away from the edges of the cut, being careful of the bruised skin and inspecting it carefully to ensure there was no dirt stuck in the wound. He swiped it with antiseptic, and Kagome hissed a little at the sting. Inuyasha couldn't quite hold back the slight whine that had made his way into his throat at the small sound of her pain, and he apologised quietly. He carefully placed the sticky bandage over the top of the now clean gash, and lowered her shirt.
Looking down at his hands, still holding the used swab and empty bandage wrapper, he breathed out, shakily, "I'm sorry I yelled at you before. I was a little angry, but mostly I was…"
"Frightened", interrupted Kagome quietly, gently placing her own hands on top of his. "Yes, I was frightened too. I wasn't frightened at the time, but as soon as I saw that knife through the package when you pulled it out of the bag, I was terrified. Without my bow, there was nothing I could do. I can't use miko powers on someone that's human. I just reacted." She sighed. "I guess you're right, I really am stupid." Inuyasha bent his head trying to catch her eye.
"Kagome" he rumbled, in a voice that wasn't quite a growl, but demanded all her attention, "you looked at the situation. You used a weapon that was available to defend yourself. You did good. You came home alive. That's all anyone can ask for." Inuyasha stroked his thumb across the hand resting on top of his softly. Then, in a voice that was more like his usual blustering self, "But, if you like, we can talk to Sango about teaching you some better hand to hand techniques you can use if you ever get in a situation like that again. Which ain't gonna happen, because I'll be there to punch the fuckers first."
Kagome smiled, and got to her feet, straightening her green school skirt and flicking stray blades of grass off the fabric with brisk swipes of her hands. The sun was just starting to disappear beyond the horizon. It was time to go. She bent down to reach for her backpack, but it was already on Inuyasha's shoulder, and the shopping bags were already in his strong clawed fists.
"Don't you want me to carry anything Inuyasha?", she asked, curiously.
"Keh. Don't get used to it wench", he huffed. "But, with all the effort you went through to get this stuff for us today, I'll carry it all back for you, just this once."
Kagome smiled at Inuyasha again, and playfully bumped him with her hip. She looked around, and noticed the ripped package of ramen still on the ground.
"Hey, you've forgotten the most important thing. My weapon!" She held the multipack of noodles aloft with a victorious flourish, and they began heading back to the village, side by side, with the dusk gathering around them.
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