#thank you anon but jesus im in pain

[bluebeary-jay]

Halcyon days

Based on this ask (i was stupid and started writing all this as a new post and not an answer im sorryyy)

Tags: fluff. INSANE amount of tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, takes place after the events of season 1

Warnings: none? there is swearing and suggestive humor tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Word count: ~3K

A/N: My sweet anon I'm sorry that I didn't write the 'looking for a place to sleep' bit but I got carried away with your lovely request and it was already longer than I expected lol. I really hope you like it!! 💕 and thank you for being my first request! 😊

You shielded your eyes from the sun and shook your hand again, signaling for Joel to take it.

“Come on, you always whine about your back pains. It’ll do you good.”

“You think lyin’ on the cold hard ground will help me with that?” he asked with tongue in cheek.

“It's actually really soft. Come on, give it a try.” You patted the spot next to you, but the man still didn't move, scouting the area around you instead. You sighed heavily. “Alright, if it's too hard for your back I'll let you lay on me. Happy?”

Joel gave you a sultry look and finally intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I can already tell the ground will be really uncomfortable,” he said teasingly in this sexy drawl of his and you squinted at him.

“Sure you can.”

Joel craned his neck before he let himself get pulled down, and cupped his free hand around his mouth.

“Hey, kiddo!” he yelled to Ellie who was squatting near a small creek down the hill you were lying on. “You alright there?!”

“Yeah, yeah!” the girl shouted back, waving to you both. “Don't come down here, yet!”

“Okay! We’ll be right here if you need anything.”

“Sure thing! Just don't start shagging.”

You choked on air and looked in disbelief in the direction of Ellie’s voice, though you couldn't see the teen from where you were lying, as the view was obscured by high grass.

“Christ, this kid is impossible,” you mumbled as Joel sat down next to you with a loud grunt.

“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know. You didn’t hear her giving me so-called ‘relationship advices’ yesterday. And no,” he added when you opened your mouth, “m’not gonna repeat them to you. It was painful enough to have to endure it alone.”

“You know what they say,” you quirked your lips and he sent you a glare.

“I swear to god, if you quote that dumb comic again…”

You snorted, knowing he was saying it with fondness, judging by his tone and a tug of the corners of his lips. Joel shook his head and laid down slowly on the grass, closing his eyes. You cosied up next to him on your stomach and propped your chin on your hands.

For a couple of seconds you just admired his features and slow rise and falls of his chest, enjoying the quiet atmosphere around you and listening to the crickets chirping and birds singing in the tree crowns.

But of course he didn’t let you indulge yourself, because before long he cracked one eye open and sent you a suspicious glance.

“Why’re you staring?”

“You’ve got something on your cheek,” you answered without missing a beat. Joel wiped his face with an irritated look while you tried your hardest not to laugh out loud.

“Is it still there?” he asked, but you winced and tilted your head discontentedly.

“You just smudged it more. Hold on a second.”

He sighed tiredly and closed his eyes again when you shuffled closer, partially draping yourself over his torso. One of his arms automatically encircled your waist to cuddle you up while he kept the other one under his head. You smirked to yourself and took his face between your hands, pretending to hum in focus. After a couple of seconds Joel cracked his eye open and glanced up at you.

“Jesus, I can feel you burning a hole in my skull. Is my head covered in fungi, or something?”

“Not yet,” you joked. “Keep your eyes closed.”

He exhaled heavily again and relaxed under you, totally oblivious to the mischievous smirk on your face. You faked scraping something off his cheek and when you were pretty sure he lowered his guard, you surged forward and quickly gave the bridge of his nose a small peck.

Joel’s eyes immediately snapped open and a surprised – and then delighted – smile spread across his face.

“What are you doin’?”

“Nothing at all,” you answered innocently, but this time you couldn’t hide a sly grin threatening to split your face in half. “I told you you have something on your cheek.”

Joel made a sound of fake acknowledgment and took his other hand from under his head to pull you even closer and on top of himself. You giggled when he nudged your nose with his, trailing his fingers up and down the back of your neck.

“On my cheek, you say?”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t think you got it, then. You aimed at my nose,” he mused cheekily, making you laugh again.

“Oh, you’re right! Silly me.” You leaned in and kissed his jaw this time, smiling against his facial hair. “Let me…” another kiss, this time on his forehead, “...try again, then…” another, next to his eye, “...just to be sure.”

It wasn’t often that Joel let you (and himself) be so affectionate when you weren’t alone, but you guessed Ellie was far enough that he didn’t worry about it now. Or maybe he was just in a good mood – it happened a lot more often lately.

After everything that transpired in the hospital, you were worried Ellie wasn’t going to believe his version of events and shut herself off, but whether the teen still doubted your and Joel’s words or not, she didn’t seem eager to distance herself from you two.

Which was a damn big relief for you, and even a greater one for Joel – not that he’d ever admit it.

Anyone who would bother to look could see that the man was a lot happier lately. He found his brother, he had you, and he didn’t lose Ellie like you knew he feared. The three of you still went on trips outside of Jackson – or like Ellie liked to call them, ‘spontaneous adventures’ – and this was one of the places you personally liked the most. A secluded meadow with a hill overgrown with flowers and leading down to a small torrent at the base of it. Noone has ever ventured so far beyond the especially-hard-to-cross portion of the river, but the place was worth the effort as it was so beautiful, it looked like it was pulled out of a fairy tale.

Speaking of beautiful, Joel cupped your cheeks and let his warm gaze rove over your face as if he wanted to commit it to memory. You were just about to ask if you had something on your face as well, when he spoke up quietly.

“Do you have any idea how goddamn gorgeous you are?” he asked, brushing the strands of your hair out of your face.

“Stop it,” you snapped back, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, but Joel tsked, guiding your chin to look at you again.

“You are,” he said, sounding almost surprised at how bashful you got, before his lips stretched into a smirk. “Are you just fishin’ for compliments, darlin’? Denyin’ it so that I can praise you more?”

“I’m not!” You laughed at the sheer thought of that and Joel took that opportunity to plant a kiss above your mouth. “If anything, you’re just trying to rile me up and get me to compliment you.”

“Don’t even try,” he warned you seriously, but you just shrugged with a playful expression.

“Well, I have to remind you sometimes how good-looking you are,” you whispered against his lips, smiling brightly when you felt his breathless chuckle.

“Shut up.”

“Not until–”

He cut you off by sliding his hand to the back of your neck and pulling you up carefully so he could kiss you deeply. You smiled into the kiss, knowing very well what he’s doing, but not minding it in the slightest.

“You’re trying to distract me,” you accused him when the two of you parted, but he shook his head and tutted. His thumb was brushing your cheek slowly and your body burned in all places he was touching you. You reminded yourself about Ellie’s words and tried to calm down.

“Nah. You had somethin’ on your face, too, and I wanted to return the favor.”

He was so silly sometimes, you almost couldn’t believe that those hands were capable of anything else than caressing your skin so lovingly.

“Liar,” you whispered, earning yourself a low chuckle.

“I could say the same about you.”

You couldn’t help the squeal that escaped you when he turned you over in a swift motion so that now you were lying on your back with the man hovering above you. Whatever protests you might’ve had, they were swallowed down by Joel’s lips on yours, and you hummed happily at the feeling of his touch.

The two of you took several minutes to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest, planting lazy kisses on your faces and whispering silly words of affection. At one point Joel sighed contently, peppering the edge of your jaw and neck with soft kisses, and then laid his head on your chest. One of his arms snaked around your waist to hug you tighter and he closed his eyes.

You pressed your lips together not to giggle, and started to slowly run your fingers through his hair. He groaned and you felt his muscles relaxing under your touch.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna fall asleep,” he murmured and you kissed the crown of his head softly.

“Maybe that’s exactly my plan. You don’t get enough rest.”

“Stop,” he said again, though he didn't make any attempt to pull away or stop you himself. “Someone's gotta keep an eye on everything.”

“I’ll make sure we’re safe,” you shushed him, gently scratching the spot behind his ear, to which he made a sound not unlike purring. You suppressed a smile. “Besides, I’ve never seen an infected around here. The chances of something stumbling upon us…”

“...are much higher if we let our guard down,” he finished, his hand going to the gun lying on the grass on his other side to make sure he could reach it quickly. “I don’t want something to happen to you or Ellie.”

“I know, love,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again, trying to make some of those worry wrinkles disappear. “Just close your eyes for a moment. I’ll make sure nothing happens during this time.”

He sighed again and nuzzled his head more into your chest. “You’re a treasure, darlin’.”

“Obviously,” you murmured in response and felt his chest rumble with quiet laughter. “I love you, you know?”

“Love you, too.” He shook his head lightly, but the smile didn’t fade from his face. “Even though you’re a menace.”

“Shut up and relax already. I’ll stand guard.”

He just grumbled again. You took a deep breath of summer air and looked up to the sky.

*****

You didn’t plan on falling asleep.

Even before you opened your eyes, having registered a tip of a shoe nudging your arm and rousing you from your nap, you felt this terrible, gnawing feeling of guilt and panic. Joel would kill you if…

But no, he was still asleep with his head lying heavily on your chest. You sighed with relief and opened your eyes, squinting at Ellie standing above you.

“Finally! How loud do I have to ‘psst!’ for you to wake up? Jesus, I started to think you both are dead.”

You grumbled and rubbed your eyes. You felt dizzy, but that was always the case when you fell asleep in the middle of the day. It was an hour or so before sunset now, and the field you rested on was bathed in a warm, orange glow.

“Not dead,” you yawned drowsily and nodded at the teen. “What’s up?”

Ellie pointed at Joel. “Wake up the old man.”

You furrowed your brows. “What? Why?”

“Because I want to push you both down the hill,” she whispered in a mocking tone and rolled her eyes when you lifted your eyebrows. “I have something to show you, if you really need to know.”

She did have one of her hands hidden behind her back, so it wasn’t completely unlikely. Still, something about it smelled fishy.

“Why didn’t you wake him up yourself?” you asked in a whisper, too, honestly surprised that you both still had to keep your voices down. Usually the slightest sound woke Joel up, but now he didn’t even stir. Ellie groaned and pointed her hand at you both, like it was obvious.

“Because last time he gave me a bunch of shit about it! And he won’t be mad at you if you do this.”

She had a point, if you wanted to be honest with yourself. Normally you would tease her for it, but lately Ellie rarely acted so secretive and excited, so you decided to humor her this time.

“I’ll blame it on you if he gets angry at me.”

“I’ll really push you down the hill if you do.”

You stick your tongue out at her, which Ellie mirrored, before rolling your eyes and shifting your attention to the man still lying motionlessly on top of you.

“Joel…” you mumbled into his skin, brushing your fingers through his hair lightly. A low grumble issued from his chest and you chuckled despite yourself, leaning down to kiss his forehead softly. You pretended not to hear Ellie gagging in the background. “Come on, I know you’re not asleep.”

He sighed heavily and finally opened his eye, but then he shifted his gaze to Ellie’s form, and let his eyelid drop again.

“Get rid of the kid,” he murmured, snuggling back into your chest.

His head started to shake from the laughter reverberating inside your chest and Ellie gasped indignantly, now having no reservations about going around you and kicking Joel’s leg.

“Fuck off and get your lazy ass up!”

Joel sighed martyrly, as if that was the greatest sacrifice somebody could demand from him, but finally got up, freeing you from under his weight but also depriving you of his safe embrace. He looked at Ellie and lifted his eyebrows, waiting.

The girl in question grinned and pulled a bunch of flowers from behind her back.

Before you realized that it actually wasn’t a bouquet, but several flower crowns, Joel was already shaking his head and actually backing away. “No. No way.”

“Oh my gosh, they’re beautiful, Ellie!” you admired her work, not paying attention to the man behind you, and shifted closer to get a better look. “Where did you learn that?”

“One of those books Tommy gave me had a guide how to do it,” Ellie explained with a wide smile. It surprised you a little that she’d be so enthusiastic about a skill like that, but then she turned back to Joel and her eyes glinted with mischief. “C’mon, try it on.”

“No.”

“Can I pick one?” you asked, once again ignoring your partner. Ellie shook her head, now not even trying to hide a proud, mocking grin that widened when she saw how reluctant Joel was.

“No. Yours is the one with those small yellow shits.” You snorted at the name Ellie gave tiny, round flowers, but put it on immediately. The girl held the crown made out of blue and purple flowers on her lap, and stuck out the last one with small pink and white flowers in Joel’s direction. “And that’s all yours.”

“No,” he repeated. You sat next to Ellie and turned to him with a fake pout on your face.

“Joel, we don't turn down gifts. It's not polite.” He glared at you as you leaned on Ellie’s shoulder. “Ellie has worked on it for so long, think how exhausting it must've been!”

“Look at my poor, tired hands,” Ellie sighed dramatically, lifting her hands and wiggling her fingers, and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you.

Joel looked from her to you with a grimace. You mouthed ‘please?’ to him and he groaned, running his hands down his face.

And then – making Ellie snort and you jump excitedly in place – he took the flower crown from the girl and all but dropped it onto his head.

“Joke’s on you, because I know for a fact pink looks great on me.”

“Glad you think so, because…” Ellie trailed off with a shit-eating grin and threw her backpack on the ground, quickly rummaging through it. You grabbed onto Joel’s arm before he had a chance to escape when she pulled out one of those old cameras with a flip screen, making him sigh even louder. “Now move your ass.”

While Ellie was positioning herself between the two of you and turning on the device, you quickly lifted Joel’s hand to your lips behind her back, kissing his fingers with a grateful smile. He seemed to have given in to his fate, not making any attempt to move away or talk his way out of it, just rubbing his brow with a tired expression. The smallest of smiles found its way onto his face when he felt your lips on his skin and he glanced up at you with fondness.

“You two will be the death of me,” he muttered, and Ellie poked him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Shut up and smile. We don’t have much sunlight left.”

You scooted over closer to Ellie to fit in the frame, squinting a little from the reddish-orange sun blinding you from behind a cloud above the horizon. The girl snapped one photo and made a different face, and in that split second your eyes darted to Joel’s in the small screen of the camera.

He still looked very reluctant to be in a photo, but you could see he was trying to hold back a smile.

He did look good in pink. And you meant the flowers as well as the small blush adoring his cheeks.

[savi0rr]

HIII :D

I SAW ABUNCH OF UR HEADCANNONS AND LITTLE STORY THINGYS, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD WRITE A Stone ramshakle X trans masc male reader on their period? :D THANK YOU AND TAKE YOUR TIMEEE!!!

(apologizes for the probably bad English, I'm from Sweden :3 )

ALSO IM VERY NEW TO THIS, BUT IF I COULD CAN I BE A ANON? (this emoji- 🪲, or this one 🦭)

I’M IN PAIN

Stone x Trans! Masc! Reader

a/n: HI!! You’re now 🪲 because I like green. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! This is also maybe like my third time writing for a trans reader, so I apologize if anything comes off a little off. Please let me know if I can approach it differently! LOVE YOU!!

»»-------------¤-------------««

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“Jesus…” Stone said as he stared down at you, who was curled up in a ball on the ground. “You know they can’t be that bad.” Stone said as he took out a cigarette. “It feels like I’m being punched, then stabbed.” You groan, holding your stomach in your arms. “Well… don’t you have anything that will like… make it stop hurting? I mean I’m sure you have been through this before.” Stone said as he went down to your level. “No… nothing will make it stop!” You said, looking up at Stone, small tears in your eyes. “Don’t cry.” He sighed, reaching his hand down and whipping away the tears from your eyes. “Is there anything I could do to at least–try to make you feel better?” Stone asked as he titled his head to the side. “I don’t know…food and water.” “I’ll have Vinnie and Skipp go and get some.”

“Vinnie! Skipp!” Stone called them over. “What’s up?” Vinnie asked as she titled her head to the side. “I need you go get some—food for this one.” Stone said as he poked at you. “What kind of food does he need?” “I NEED FOOD.” “Alright!” Skipp said as he tugged Vinnie away.

“Stone if I die tell my husband I love him…” You said, looking up at him. “You don’t have a husband.” Stone sighed as he shook his head. “I don’t ever remember you being this dramatic.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Hm..” Stone thought about something. “Hold on. I’ll be back.” “Ugh….UGH!!”

Stone ran off and fetched a small towel that he found in a dumpster. He snuck into a building and got hot water onto it. Then he ran back to you. “Here. Place it where it hurts.” Stone said as he got down to your level. You were still groaning and holding your stomach. “Why is it wet…” You mutter as you placed the towel over your stomach. “We’re homeless, we can’t afford those good heating pads that the rich people have.” Stone sighed.

“How did you even know that this would help?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “I hear ladies talk.” Stone said as he leaned against the wall. “Thanks…” You said, looking up at him, smiling a little. Before groaning again. “No problem. All though—it is funny seeing you in pain—“ “Really?!”

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“I’m going to die.” “You will live.”

[vampirebloodie]

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x reader. How would Adam propose to the reader? Or how would the reader propose to Adam?

Hope you like it, anon! <3

Careless Whisper | Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x Reader

Summary: Adam tries to make a romantic marriage proposal but things don't go as expected

Warning: Fluff content, funny (?)

Adam was weirder than usual lately, not that he was the most normal person in the world, but he was really weird these days, you even thought that he might have cheated on you or something, but he was too dumb to let that happen slip by without you noticing.

You were at work when a notification arrived on your cell phone, it was the bank app informing you that more than three thousand dollars had been withdrawn from your account that you shared with Adam, your eyes widened seeing that and you immediately dialed his number, trying some communication, after the third attempt you heard his voice on the other side.

“Adam Faulkner-Stanheight!!! How did more than three thousand dollars disappear from our account?”

You asked irritably. There were several possibilities running through his head, the biggest one being that he had probably clicked on a link with a virus trying to download games illegally on the internet.

“Oh, hi honey, the connection here is really bad, wow, xiiiiii, xiiiiii, xiiiiii”

He responded and started imitating squeaking noises that you could clearly tell was him, you rolled your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Look, Adam... Adam? Adam! ADAM!!!!”

You screamed into the phone when you realized he had hung up on you, putting your phone back in your bag you ran your hands over your face, extremely irritated and upset.

“U ok?”

Your boss asked passing by you, you looked around seeing the coffee shop customers staring at you, your cheeks heated up immediately.

“I need to solve a problem at home.”

You looked at her, who just adjusted her glasses on her face and sighed.

“Well, if it will stop you from scaring customers, go.”

You thanked her, ignoring her rudeness, picked up your bag and left the store, walking quickly to the building where you and he lived together, the loud noise of your deep steps hitting the floor attracted everyone's attention, you entered the building and entered the elevator by clicking the button for the fifth floor. As soon as the doors opened you took your key and went towards the door, opening it with all your strength, making a huge bang. If you were a dragon you would definitely be breathing fire right now.

“Adam Faulkner-Stanheight show up immediately before i found you!”

You said, starting to look for him around the property, not finding him anywhere, suddenly you heard the song "careless whisper" starting to play around the house and you made a confused expression following the sound, which led to the room.

You started knocking on the door several times, until Adam only opened it halfway, putting his face out, scaring you. The music had stopped.

"Jesus christ! Adam, what are you doing in there?”

You asked, looking at him who was extremely sweaty and looked at you with a look of despair. The sweat was self-explanatory, he was wearing a black suit that was bigger than him.

“Y/N!!! What are you doing here at this time???”

He asked confused and you raised your eyebrow.

“3 thousand dollars just disappeared from our account, Adam.”

You crossed your arms.

“Aahh! I can explain this to you later, come back in 15 minutes, bye bye.”

He spoke and tried to close the door, but you put your hand in first, unfortunately his strength was greater than yours and the door slammed into your hand. You screamed in pain, feeling your fingers being crushed by the door, Adam screamed along and opened the door again, you pulled your hand away, feeling it throb and your fingers turn red.

"Honey!! I’m sorry, im sorry!!”

He grabbed your hand, starting to kiss it in an attempt to stop the pain, you pulled your hand away, making him kiss the air.

“Damn Adam! What are you hiding so much?”

You gave him a light push, so you could see what was in the room, there were several red rose petals on the floor, heart-shaped balloons hanging from the wall and ceiling, and a huge photo of you and him on the wall with letters pasted on it. You tried to understand what it was.

“D OR WNT T MRRY E? Adam, did you really finish high school?”

You made a confused face looking at him and he put his hand on his chest, offended.

"Of course. It’s your fault it arrived early, i was still cutting out the rest of the letters, okay?”

He defended himself.

“God give me patience please… Okay, five more minutes.”

You left the room and he closed the door. The five minutes passed quickly and the lights in the house went out, that music played again, Adam opened the door and you came in again, this time the room was tidier with some candles, he had his suit more tidy and with a rose in his mouth, staring at you with a sensual face that you thought was the funniest thing in the world.

“Dear Y/n, we've been together for a long time and i think we should make it official for something bigger, ok i need to be quick before i pass out from the heat in this outfit, so, do you want to marry me? ”

He knelt down in front of you and took a golden ring out of his pocket, your face had just dropped and, your money and plans to buy a new house also dropped after that.

“Adam...You didn't need to do all that, you know i would have accepted it anyway!”

You smiled, taking the ring and he stood up with the biggest smile in the world, placing the ring on your finger.

“You were going to accept it anyway, right? Aha! I knew! You are obsessed and in love with me, i understand i understand, i would be too. Im so handsome and sexy”

He closed his eyes, starting to boast and walk around the room while doing some poses and messing with his hair, until he tripped over the piece of furniture in front of him and ended up knocking the candle onto the sheet, which soon started to catch fire.

Adam screamed and hid behind you, you ran and grabbed the sheet, slamming it against the floor before the fire spread any further, staring at Adam with a deadly look, that was your favorite sheet.

“Dear, i promise i ll pay for another one!”

He spoke before you could say anything, you walked slowly towards him, seeing him shrink a little, you placed a kiss on his lips, making him make a confused face.

“Aren’t you going to fight me?”

“Fighting with you won’t bring my sheet back. I love you even though you are extremely clumsy.”

You spoke and he smiled, pulling you into a kiss.

“I love you too, more than you know.”

The air started to run out and you separated.

“Adam, did you know this song is about betrayal?”

“What?”

Final note: please reblog if you liked!

[thenamesblurrito]

Buzzard and Blurr are so cute :) really endearing ans sorta sweet, hope things work out well with em

Im really curious about the twos relationship. Do you have any thoughts you could share behind their dynamic and how they end up getting together? Or headcanons?

Keep up the good work! :D

THANK YOU ANON YOU MADE MY DAY!!!

i will be honest i would also like to know how they get together bc they are uhhhhhh both bad at this whole romantic thing! like i talk about here, they're both bumbling, inexperienced, and having a rude awakening to the concept of demisexuality, so as far as i can tell there is no end in sight to the mutual pining idiots. there's some possibilities but nothing concrete yet

they're a fun ship but first and foremost they are a funNY ship and the funny bits to me are in the pre-get together stage so that's what i think of the most. so! have some tidbits! this is a long post oops but i am NOT putting it under a cut i am making everyone LOOK AT SELF INDULGENCE RAAAGHH I AM KILLING CRINGE!!!

Blurr met Buzzard after being painstakingly transferred to a new, kitbashed frame and having a weird tall stranger show him the trash cube that used to be him with far too much enthusiasm. Buzzard was the one to fish that cube out of the trash as they went spelunking in Cybertron's waste disposal system as Team Purple were on planet to pull off a pet heist (and got more than they bargained for). once everyone realized the cube was a person and was ALIVE, they were also the one to uhhhhhh procure most of the pieces of his new frame, constructed by Knock-out in a back alley deal on Velocitron. Blurr is uncomfortable with how piecemeal and janky this frame is, despite being a close reconstruction of his original, and it takes him a long time to truly realize that Buzzard donated, bought, or outright stole 90% of the parts needed to bring him, a stranger, back to life. it's an odd feeling, to suddenly reckon with the concept that maybe there's more to this junker than picking pockets and being silly

it takes awhile for either of them to really pay attention to the other? like, Blurr has essentially pulled a Jesus, and also maybe unwillingly defected from the Autobots, and is currently "trapped" with a team full of criminals and Decepticons, one of whom was a spy that he spent so long tracking down and got thiiiiiiiis close to discovering her true identity before Longarm sent him off to Earth, so he's understandably got a grudge the size of a planet against Rosanna who is happy to taunt him about it, NOT TO MENTION the awkward, vulnerable, and painful physical therapy of getting used to this new frame and trying to regain his speed and just... being alive again?? sure, Buzzard is tall and weird, but they are the least of his worries in his early days with Team Purple

to be fair, like. for months the only real impression Blurr has of Buzzard is just:

infinite storage booba

that and "tall flightframe with purple parts but NOT a Decepticon???? not even an enemy????" it's something he's still coming to terms with. Gremlin consistently seeking him out to nap on is not helping

it may be easy to assume that Buzzard, having been brought to life by an Allspark shard on Earth, is young and ignorant and stupid and may not even know what love is etc etc. however, they were mentored by the whirlwind romance duo Rum-maj and Wreck-gar, both very invested and also very forthcoming about their own relationship. Buzzard is pretty knowledgeable about what love/romance/sexuality can look like, just from observing them and others around them! no, the mutual pining idiocy isn't from ignorance, it's just twitterpated stupidity 👍

this goes against popular fanon interpretation of Blurr i think, but i like to characterize him as the kind of hypercompetent-but-lame guy who's married to his work, doesn't bother with social skills beyond bare minimum, and isn't so much arrogant/full of himself as he is just impatient and dismissive. he's like a working breed dog. you might think he's hot but he would rather skip an offer of a one night stand in favor of following up on a potential lead or staking out a target's home all night. so Blurr's experience and general overall INTEREST in romance is nil

the fact i have slapped asexuality onto both of them just means they're both extra unprepared to Experience Feelings

it's slow! Buzzard thinks this guy is funny, and kind of sad, and though they never say this they think he could use a friend who won't get impatient with his own frustration. he knows a lot of stuff about Cybertron and Autobots and such that they've never heard before and he can be prompted to give entire lectures about anything, which they soak up, they love learning. Blurr is only mostly irritated by Buzzard being affable, and curious, and dropping odd knickknacks and riffraff into his hands whenever they feel like it. they don't roll their optics or look lost when he gets talking like many people do, and usually even manage to keep up with what he's saying. it's toleration at least!

he doesn't realize it, but it's really the least stressful/antagonistic connection he has with Team Purple so far. Rosanna was a target he was cheated out of uncovering and holds it over his head, Dreadringer is the mysterious captain of this dangerous gang who seems to want to toss everyone out the airlock, Wheelie was an old friend but seeing him so comfortable around these strangers is almost more offputting, Red Alert may be an Autobot but she's also the doctor seeing to his recovery which is hardly pleasant, the multiple Decepticons aboard keep him on edge even if they're nice to him like Voidwander, there's so many utterly absurdly strange people like Necro, or Wreck-gar, or Inferno, or Sky Lynx, or even Beachcomber, etc....

in comparison, Buzzard ends up filling almost a Kronk role to his Yzma as Blurr eventually feels comfortable ranting to them, or relaxing around them, or even skedaddling behind them for protection whenever Shenanigans occur. they're nice to him. it's weird. but it's still one of the biggest reasons why Blurr starts to acclimate to Team Purple, and even start considering himself one of them. without their positive influence, he wouldn't have dealt well with famous Team Purple tidbits like Tito Moto's funeral, Bludgeon deciding to start an official pirate rivalry, Dreadringer's delusions of interning with a god, Crescent's livestreaming career, or The Oil Slick Incident

Buzzard just thinks Blurr is fascinating to be around, in a much nicer way than when he was paranoid and scared of the rest of the team. now he's fitting in! in some corner of their mind, they think of him as another part of the hoard they call a family :3

maybe letting two obsession-prone people who only make friends with other weirdos spend a lot of time around one another was always going to end in a weird tangle of emotions, huh?

now this is of course Buzzard's Iconic Demi Moment, but Blurr has one too:

i firmly believe it's a hallmark- no, a REQUIREMENT that to be an Autobot in TFA you must be repressed. these guys are all touch-starved and alienated from their own wants and needs in favor of serving The Regime. so good luck Blurr you're gonna need it

Buzzard meanwhile is literally scared they're gonna pluck out Blurr's spleen. they keep wanting to be around him, and watch him, and touch him, all of which is normal sure but this is a lot so clearly their subconscious has marked him as a trinket to steal

attempts to explain otherwise generally do not go well

so they just. fail at communicating. they fail at communicating so bad the entire ship knows. even Rosanna gives Blurr tips on flirting. even Gremlin, Buzzard's dearest friend in the world, is giving them the stink-eye for idiocy. they are both still friends, they gravitate towards one another and get invested in what the other enjoys and work well together and just keep growing closer as time goes on, but the awkward, helpless stupidity of Oh My God Feelings turns it into a comedy show for the rest of Team Purple

maybe if Blurr could stop flipping out about the right thing to say and do and be and and and-- then he would relax enough, be confident enough to do something so bold as hold Buzzard's hand. maybe if Buzzard could stop worrying that their preoccupation with him is scary, or unwelcome, or unnatural, or going to upset his place in the team or as their friend, then they would stop feeling dread and start experiencing the joy and giddiness of romance, how it can be a treat for both of them

it's a lot of shenanigans. chicanery. silly falling over one another to just do something nice for the other but not quite knowing how. but they're both earnest. they enjoy one another. they keep coming back to one another

they'll get there eventually. i'll noodle something that fits

fingers crossed

i mean they have to get there eventually or this image won't be canon and i spent a lot of effort figuring out overlapping posing and kibble angles >:(

anyways. i'll leave u with this silly little ship meme (can u believe this image was gonna be my only response til i decided to defy cringe and infodump)

[eeblouissant]

[If you're not taking anons about this just ignore this ~<3] completely agree about Dorothy, especially her having insecurities about being seen as masculine and how she voices it during the show so many times. I always headcanoned it as a big reason she never addressed her sexuality; when people aren't calling her an ugly man they're saying she's a lesbian directly because of certain traits and features she has, it makes sense she'd reject that part of herself because its tied to decades of painful remarks on top of everything else. And I do think it could be genuinely triggering for her to be expected to be masculine or want to perform certain acts in that sense - the idea that even someone who seems to understand her and want her and love still doesn't see her as a woman. Ofc those things aren't tied together in reality but you could make a solid case for why they would be to Dorothy.

anon anon anon !!!!! You’ve completely read my mind & looked into my soul here - you get me !!!!!!!!

10/10 no notes honestly (and omg nooo !!! ask away always always <33) butttt you mentioned something I hadn’t thought of before so I must talk about it!!!; the topic of her sexuality also being upsetting for this reason. holy, you are right on the money I think. Even now, when lots of people think of the word lesbian we have been taught to think of masculine traits. I cannot imagine what it was like then - if now we’ve come so far, & yet….

This makes me think of Jean, Dorothy’s (arguably life long, I mean - since college??!! quite the strong bond they’ve got) friend. She doesn’t present “stereotypically lesbian” at all. She’s like textbook femme!! I wonder if how big of a part she’s played in Dorothy’s life has anything to do with that. I wonder if she envy’s her? Because here’s jean, an open, & proud lesbian. Whom you’d never suspect because “she could have any man she wants?!” - and then there’s Dorothy. Tall, broad shoulders, “manly hips” (among many, many other cruel insults - I actually really hate hate hate the pearls or chain scene a lot.) Dorothy. Whom everyone automatically assumes is a lesbian - but never for the right or respectful reasons? It’s always used on her as an insult or to further push on her insecurities ??!! like Jesus. Makes sense she’d never want to uncover that. Also makes me want to headcanon her being unlabelled too instead of using strong labels - I’m getting the vibe now that she kind of just ?? wants to love & be loved ?? like deep down she’d know that she’s strictly into women and what that means / labels it comes with but tbh? labels might be upsetting for her also. Especially when they’ve been used to hurt and bash her for so many years. many thoughts …

I really do NOT fuck with all those scenes where they gang up on Dorothy like I really cannot express it enough, no wonder it began to actually affect Bea in real life to the point she chose to leave because of it (among other reasons yes I know, but when I saw that this was one I just about cried)

Anyway, just makes me think about Dorothy thinking about how jean does it. The jealousy, the angst potential, all that good stuff.

I also have to comment on - YES. Yes yes yes !!! I also agree that it is gen triggering for her to be expected to be masculine / seen that way / dress that way / etc etc etc !!!!! constant bullying will do that to you !!!!! I wanted to say something similar in that post on my side acc but I wasn’t sure if it would have been taken the right way :’) like, wearing the strap?? absolutely out of the question !!!!!!! thank you for speaking my innermost thoughts <3333

In conclusion Dorothy’s queen of the pillow princesses in my head im v glad (and shocked tbh 😭) you guys are seeing the vision ??!! thank u <3

[spaceysp]

on a scale of 1-10 which ccs in the dream smp do you think will survive an apocalypse? also pls give reasons as to why, im trying to make a statistics graph for school

OooO! sorry for not getting to this whenever you sent it, but hopefully you’re fine with having it now! ill be going from least to most likely to survive (also fair warning, i dont know alot of these people all too well so in doubt i will be reading their wiki page and im gonna cut out ppl i dont know at all ((also also im gonna be talking about them IRL, not their smp characters because that seems like what ur asking for but i can do another for that if thats what you meant)))

EDIT: I AM AN IDIOT AND DIDNT NOTICE “on a scale of 1-10″ IM SORRYRJSDHKJAESF IMMA ADD THAT

least likely

tommyinnit- okay listen, mans is a child, and from the few live-action vids that ive seen, doesnt seem to be very handy with tools. i couldnt even find that he has any hobbies outside minecraft, so unless he can MLG clutch irl, i dont think he has much going for him 1/10

purpled- basically the same as tommy, idk much about him and i couldnt see that he has any extra hobbies. the apocalypse will not be merciful to minecrafters 2/10

ranboo- see above, he’s higher because of that height and height alone 2/10

niki- i may get some shit for this one, but i think she wouldnt do well because shes too sympathetic, she might try to save those left behind or share, leaving her in more danger than before for the sake of kindness. she also is sensitive to light apparently so thats also a disadvantage 2/10

karl- idk alot about karl either, but im pretty sure he loses, like, every mr beast challenge i think thats like his thing, so even if idk wtf those challenges are, imma say that sets him up for failure in my eyes irl 3/10

quackity- the dude got tired from wii sports. i dont know if he has any irl abilities, so imma have to do him dirty with this one 3/10

fundy- hes a coder, a really good one at that, so while that may help him in the logistics and planning department, i cant say the same for physical ability 3/10

antfrost- idk what hes done irl while being a server admin for years, but hes read warriors, which although may mean he didnt get out much as a kid, it also kinda tells you about herbs and plants?? idk if its accurate but its something 3/10

tubbo- same logic, hes a kid, i think kids are automatically gonna function worse than adults, however, apparently he used to be a trampolinist??? that at least means that he has good stamina and at least a bit of strength, so i think if he didnt let his emotions cloud him he could kick at least a little bit of ass 4/10

eret- he seems to be willing to do almost anything to get things to turn out his way in the smp, but irl he seems very charitable, so idk how that would translate in an apocalypse scenario. hes gonna be about midrange because i cant say what theyd do 4/10

technoblade- im sorry techno but he only plays minecraft and reads literature, i think he might have enough disconnect in order to sacrifice other people’s needs for his own, and i wouldnt put it past him to take what he needs from others, but i cant give him much more than that 4/10

skeppy- you may think ive put him too far up, and yes, this dude somehow managed to run a 20-minute mile. yes, he only has 3 shirts but still has two cars, yes, i dont think hed be able to sacrifice someone else in a pinch. however what everyone is forgetting is that he has connections to the weirdest assortment of people i know, and could probably convince them to help him out. alone? f tier, dead in 3 days. with his car gassed up and knowing where his friends are at? he could last a while i think 4/10

sapnap- he apparently said his worst fear is being alone and losing his friends. which? i mean, i think both of those things would happen in this scenario. he does have jock energy though so hes lower-middle range 4/10

george- geroge is gonna be the complete center on which everyone else is judged. i dont know anything about this man irl. for all i know he could be a gold-medallist weight lifter. he seems to be fairly quick-thinking and independent, so i could see him doing fine maybe 5?/10

wilbur- a wildcard like george except what i do know about him seems way more powerful and also unhinged. everything i learn about him irl scares me i think he could live on being a sneaky little theif bastard 6/10

captain puffy- uhh idk its just her vibe. i think she could do well 6/10

punz- he looks like he could and would kick my ass 7/10

awesamdude- dudes really smart, and 6′7?? he has the reach to knock zombies or whatever TF out   6′7/10

schlatt- he lives in new york, owns at least one glock, and im sure is willing to betray anyone in order to get to the top, i think hed do pretty good 8/10

badboyhalo- okay listen this may be partially favoritism but this is by no means a professional list. he can shoot guns and throw knives and axes, knows how to cook and has beaten up someone at least once. im gonna say his only weaknesses are being a bit forgetful and overly sympathetic, but whatever i think he can get past that 9/10

dream- man, i really didnt wanna give mans the dub here, but i think i have to. 1. its known that all florida men are a different breed, and dream is Peak florida man. hes one of the only ones i could find that ever played an actual sport, and his quick-thinking skills displayed in manhunt is pretty much unmatched. he also shows a hint of cold logic in his actions, doing whatever it takes to gain popularity on youtube in the beginning, and i think that could translate to real life as well. overall, i cant say i was expecting this result, but i think its what i have to do 10/10

most likely 

[nightowlfandom]

Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!  

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong. 

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.” 

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.” 

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door. 

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?” 

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart. 

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening. 

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet. 

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot. 

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either. 

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin. 

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.” 

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you. 

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss. 

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound. 

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath. 

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush. 

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him. 

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs. 

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

[ronkeyroo]

Know what I think is both sad and hilarious? If Verstael hadn't set Ardyn on the path of vengeance as well as absorb Infrit's memories.....he could have been a 2,000 year old hottie just roaming the world with the expression of "i'm so done with this shit". Just this cocktail of depression and a slight lack of empathy with a dash of "fuck off".

Like, "Oh, YOU think you go it bad?! Yes, tell me how you were literally backstabbed back your own brother who also killed your fiance and then turned everyone your ever helped against you to the point they threw rocks and crap at you before being dragged off onto an island where you were left in total isolation for CENTURIES only to be rescued by this short little blond shit speaking gibberish who won't stop poking and proding you in the name of science and war?"

"Ummmm....."

"That's what I thought." The proceeds to just down a bottle of wine before going out to sleep in his car.

He'd be that cynical uncle who has ptsd, depression, and conspiracy theories. Which is ultimately sad and just horrible but like...can you imagine the dialog with other people?!? 😂 Just this whole attitude of, "Oh we're in an apocalypse? Shiiit, drink up and smoke 'em it you got 'em. This is going to be one hell of a ride."

ANON YOU ARE SO RIGHT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE CANON holy FUCK.

Dude his past hurt and resonated with me so fucking much, im still heartbroken. He's been through such unjust shit,,i want to give him everything from the life that was stolen from him to therapy and self care and the meanest- heart cleansing bj for real

i CRINGED SO BADLY when Verst' found him, tortured and alone, after all those years, and literally used Ardyn's pain against him like that. Like If i were Ardyn, i'd still be hot on revenge even if i wasnt manipulated into it, especially after the unforgivable shit somnus pulled out of his ass, but verstael just threw gasoline in those wounds man. Motherfucker literally used him as a weapon for his own gain and I wish someone better was there to find him first...Imagine the POTENTIAL, muah, delicious.

This HC of Ardyn you shared with me is SO well fleshed out and accurate to his character that i can see it ANIMATED and HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE HGGHFNF. Like imagine that half drunk, half spiteful chug of wine at the end of his rant followed by a tipsy head tilt and a dissatisfied, squinting glare before turning away with a "hmph". UGH i love him. I love him in any way. I love him when he's trash jesus and when hes hobo man. Its awful that he suffers in like most of those AU's but i will love him through it all ANYWAYS.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WONDERFUL BIT, I SHALL BE THINKING OF IT FOR TIME TO COME

[dystopiandramaqueen]

How Nick came from "we gotta break up. it's too dangerous. we're being stupid" to passionately making out with June on the bridge while The Eyes, guardian/driver and aunt Lydia watching them? The bravery it takes for them to love each other...

100% Anon.

Nick's ONLY concern is supporting June.

Protecting June. Giving June what she wants.

In the 1x8 kitchen breakup, he suppressed his desires, trying to "do the right thing" to protect her. Like a big brother would. Like a gentleman. "I will put aside MY feelings, I will tolerate the pain in my breaking heart, in exchange for your safety."

He looked fucking miserable, avoiding eye contact, blinking back tears. He didn't WANT to "break up"... but he thought it would keep June SAFE. So he did it.

Until June blew his mind with her bravery. As always.

June told him that she knew their love would speed her death, and she didn't mind. It was an even trade for her. She would rather love him, and die for it, than live without him.

Like a patient with a terminal disease refusing painful treatments so they can be on hospice, sit outside in the sunshine with their family and enjoy what little time they have left. Understanding the consequences. Choosing quality over quantity.

Her bravery made Nick brave.

Nick instantly felt like an idiot and tried to take it back, lol. Poor kid. "Oh jesus ur right sweetie im sorry i think that too"

-----------------------------

With the bridge:

I still think Nick timed that drop off so they'd have a few brief seconds to talk, AND so the Eye he chose to drive the Handmaids would "have to stop and pee" right when the escape train happened to be heading to Canada.

Bc while he can't do much, that's the kind of thing Nick COULD do.

He could set the chessboard so June could have every possible advantage.

Note he didn't kiss her at all. He just blinked back his tears and comforted her until the van came for her.

But June forgot to tell Nick she loved him too. She was walking bravely to her death, and realized she needed to say it back. She needed him to know she loved him too. She didn't want their story to end with a one-sided ILY.

So she sprints back in fucking handcuffs and shows him she loves him, making good on her words in the kitchen.

She doesn't care if she dies. She's not afraid of death, or the Eyes, or Gilead.

She loves Nick. All of the suffering been worth it because of him. She looks him in the eyes and tells him that. Nick nods and repeats it back, and they are both at peace.

Find me a more epic romance. God bless these two.

Thank you for your question, my love.

[its-deputy-caleb]

It's totally okay if you wouldn't want to write this I understand, but Arthur accidentally walking in on a new to the gang, m!reader without a shirt on, seeing bandages wrapped around his chest and asking if he got shot. And they have to have the awkward 'im trans please dont shoot me' talk. Arthur obv doesn't care that reader is tans but he DOES care that he's binding with medical tape bc that cannot be comfy and all Arthur does is worry about other people-

Hiii anon! It’s perfectly okay! i love and accept everyone here so your request is most welcome! I did a request very similar to this for Arthur and you can find it here, but I still wanted to do this one only it’ll be much shorter since I didn’t want to repeat myself twice! I hope you enjoy :))

I don’t think it’s too bad but I respect everyone has different things that trigger them so a warning that the reader hasn’t had top surgery and that binding is described in this but it’s always described as ‘binding your chest’ and I don’t go into any detail bc I know that it’s triggering for a lot of people <33

———————————————

God what an awful day it was, it was swelteringly hot down in Rhodes and not only were you drenched in sweat but you got ambushed by Raiders on your way back to camp.

You’d only recently joined the Van Der Linde Gang, meeting them in Colter as you were close to death. The O’driscolls had taken you captive but you could shoot and hold your own ground (when you weren’t tied to a post, thank you horrible O’driscolls) and so you joined their gang without looking back.

That didn’t mean you hated the heat here and all you wanted to do was go to your tent and unwind for the night, alone.

Your chest felt even tighter with the muggy feeling in the air making it that much harder to breath, not to mention the tight medical tape you used to bind your chest.

Walking into your tent, you remove your shirt, wincing at the tightness and jolts of pain in your chest. You fiddle with the tape covering your chest, repositioning it higher so it wouldn’t slip down.

You knew deep down that it was just a little too tight and you’d had the tape on for just a little too long but it’d been a long and horrible day and the last thing you wanted was to feel even worse or self conscious by removing the tape. No matter how good it feels to breathe properly.

You were shuffling through your pile of clothes, looking for a fresh shirt or at least something that wasn’t covered in sweat when you heard the tent ruffle and feet moving.

Your head turned to see Arthur standing there, but he was already talking by the time you laid eyes on him.

“Saw a bunch of Raiders just outside of camp, wondered if it was you they’d run into— Jesus are yer hurt? Did a bullet clip you?”

All you heard in Arthur’s voice was genuine concern but that was nothing compared to the ringing in your ears and the panic in your chest. Of course it had to be Arthur who saw you like this, one of the few members you’d actually grown close with in the short time you knew them and you were mentally preparing for the worst.

His hand reached out to touch your side, no doubt to check over the bandage but your hand grabbed his wrist, holding him at bay.

“Don’t—“

Your voice cracked slightly, a blush forming on your face out of embarrassment. God you didn’t want Arthur to find out like this and you couldn’t stop thinking about how he might throw you out of the gang despite the fact that he was one of the most caring out of the gang. All you could think of was the worst.

Arthur slowly pulled his hand away, letting it drop to the side as he stared at your back turned towards him. He noted how the bandages weren’t stained with blood but they looked uncomfortably tight around your skin as if it had been wrapped in a hurry.

“Hey now, whatever it is you can talk to me about it.”

He kept his hands up in almost a surrender to show he wasn’t going to hurt you. He kept his voice calm and gentle as watched you almost fold into yourself. God you hated this.

“No Arthur I can’t— God I’m so stupid, I should go— just forget about it.”

You started mumbling under your breath, picking up a shirt and throwing it on before attempting to run out the front of the tent. Of course though, Arthur was blocking the exit in your small tent.

He gently placed his hand on your forearm, slowing your movements and looking into your eyes for the first time that night.

“If you want to leave you can, I won’t stop you but you can trust me…”

You stood there for a moment, contemplating your options. You knew Arthur had seen the tape one way or another and you figured explaining would be better than him asking around camp about it.

Nodding, the two of you sat on your bed roll as you began to formulate how you’d tell your dear friend Arthur. You looked at him, seeing nothing but concern and reassurance in his eyes.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes before finally letting Arthur know the truth that you’d kept hidden for so many years of your life.

“Arthur I’m… I’m trans— that’s why the tape is there so nobody will know and I don’t want anyone to know, I— I can still pull my weight I’m no different than you or Bill or any of the other fellers. Please don’t throw me out of the gang…”

You looked away from Arthur, the silence killing you at the thought of what might have to come.

“I ain’t gonna throw yer outta the gang— don’t be ridiculous and yer more of a man than Williamson could ever imagine to be with all his drinkin’ and whining.”

Arthur gave a lighthearted chuckle, brining his hand up to rest on your shoulder with a true and genuine smile.

“You’re more of a man than most of us thieves and murderers and we’re lucky to have you in the gang, in the family. Don’t think for a second that you can’t handle yourself or that you don’t deserve a place here cause yer do.”

After that, Arthur pulled you into a tight hug one that threw out any doubts in your mind that he’d ever want to hurt you.

The two of you stay like that for a while and you let out a shaky breath as all your worries from before slowly ebb away. When Arthur pulls back, he softly pats your arms and gives you a reassuring nod.

“Now I’m no expert in these sorts of things but I can’t imagine having that tape around yer chest is comfortable or safe… if yer want you don’t have to have it on around me and I won’t go yapping to nobody about it. Of course you can keep your shirt on and I won’t look either.”

After giving a small and shy nod, you watch Arthur turn around and face the tent flaps while you undid the bandages underneath your shirt, repeating in your head that you trusted Arthur again and again.

When you were finished and comfortable the first thing you did was breathe in a full breath, letting your shoulders sag before turning to Arthur and tapping his shoulder.

He turned to you, still smiling and you loved that there was no pity, only concern in his eyes.

“I got a friend who’s a trapper up near Annesburg, maybe we could get you something made of leather so its not so tight— don’t want you getting hurt tis all.”

Your face lit up at the thought of something more comfortable, your heart softening at how concerned Arthur was.

“Like a binder?”

The look of confusion on Arthur’s face was utter joy as he had no idea what that was.

“Is that what it’s called?”

You nodded, laughing softly as Arthur tried to understand but he still gave you a reassuring and caring smile.

“Then we’ll get a binder.”

He was cut off when you threw your arms around him and gave him a hug. One that showed just how accepted and loved you felt in that moment by something so small as Arthur Morgan caring about your heath.

“Thank you…”

You whispered softly in his hold as Arthur squeezed his arms tighter around you.

Eventually you both grew tired and you fell into a light sleep against each other, still wrapped in his embrace. Of course the heat made it slightly uncomfortable as you both were sweating but none of that mattered as you felt completely and utterly accepted and safe in that very moment.

[fandom-puff]

The Only One For Me

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x reader

Requested by: anon ‘Heya! Love your work!! I feel like Arthur needs a bit more love, so could i request a fic where Arthur realizes reader is the woman for him insted of Linda when she saves him from Linda shoting him, reader is wounded but it only means he will have to do all the work when he *khm* "comforts her... ��😁 Thank you!!!!’

Warnings: shooting, injury, removal of a bullet, talk of divorce, swearing, angst- I promise there is fluff at the end though !!

“Arthur, get down!”

BANG

Your ears filled with ringing as pain bloomed in your shoulder, spreading throughout your entire being as you fell to the ground, unable to feel anything. There was shouting, but all the voices were muddled together. Your body was lifted and hurried inside.

“On the table. Get rid of all of that, for fucks sake!” Plates and glasses smashed as the table was swept clean and you were laid on it, your head moving from side to side as you began to register the agony shooting through your body.

“She’s lucky the mad bitch was so fuckin’ far away!” That must’ve been Tommy. “Oi- Get Jeremiah Jesus, now!”

“Hurts,” you mumbled, voice raspy.

“Fucking hell, YN,” Arthur’s gruff voice sounded from beside you and you tried your best to look up at him.

“Hurts, Arthur,” you mumbled again, the tears finally falling. “Am I gonna die?”

“Not if I can bloody help it, YN. Jeremiah’s got magic hands. Removed thousands of bullets from peaky blinders, he has. You’re in good hands, yeah, just stay awake for me, okay?”

“I’ll try,”

The door opened and you heard tommy talking to Jeremiah. “She needs to be sat up if it’s in her shoulder, it’ll hurt less that way. Especially the cleaning,”

Tommy and Arthur nodded grimly to one another and hauled you as gently as they could into an arm chair while Jeremiah soaked his steady hands in gin. Arthur handed you the bottle. “Big gulp, YN, love, alright?” You nodded, taking a huge swig from the bottle. The burn that filled your throat was nothing compared to that in your shoulder. As soon as the bottle was moved from your lips, Tommy shoved a folded up napkin into your mouth as Arthur held down your arms.

Jeremiah began rooting around the bullet wound looking for the bullet.

You screamed, barely muffled by the napkin as you bit down on it. Arthur looked at you with an anguished look, hating to see you in such pain.

“There!” Jeremiah said, holding the small bullet up to the light. “All in one piece. Another big gulp of that gin, YN, this bit won’t be nice,” you did as you were told, before the bottle was pulled from your hand, the spout shoved over the wound. As the alcohol poured over the wound, you let out a pained cry, before your eyes rolled back and you passed out from the agony.

***

As your eyes fluttered open, you heard soft snoring. “Arthur?” You mumbled.

“What? Me? Yeah, I’m- im awake, yeah,” Arthur said, jolting up in the chair beside you. “YN- you’re... awake. Are you okay? How’re you feeling?”

“Shite,” you said simply, cracking a weak smile. “She’s got shit aim, your wife,” you said wryly.

Arthur rubbed his face. “She ain’t my wife any more, YN,” he said. “Not after what she did to you,”

“She would’ve done it to you,” you whispered. “My shoulder, or your heart or lung or something,”

Arthur was quiet for a moment. “Tommy’s sorting all the paperwork out for a divorce, YN,” he said quietly. You smiled softly.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” You asked, seeing his frown. “You won’t have to pretend to be perfect all the time now. No more bottling it up. You can find someone who’ll listen to you and help you... or just stay a bachelor forever and do as you please,” you said softly, smiling when he gave you a little grin.

“Yeah... s’good I suppose but... well... YN... none of that matters without you. You took a bullet for me for Christ’s sake,” he said, looking to his hands. “You’ve always been kind to me. Always looked after me when I’ve been drunk and she wouldn’t let me in the house... you’re kind to me and you get nothing in return, YN, but... I love you. I have for a while. You’re the only one for me, and the other night showed me that,”

You had fresh tears running down your cheeks, only these had nothing to do with pain. “Arthur... do you mean it?”

“Of course I mean it, YN...”

“Then... I’m all yours, Arthur Shelby,” you smiled softly, holding your good arm out. He took your hand in both of his, kissing your knuckles gently, before resting his forehead against your clasped hands as you drifted back to sleep, a small smile etched on your face.

Tags: @liliputbahn @lilymurphy03 @imareallygrumpyme

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi there I’m looking for some advice and . Just someone to talk to about my dad. Content warning for… being subjected to an adults anger issues ig?? And physical violence (abuse?) and… sexual??? Something. Something happened

My dad was really nice for a lot of my younger years. I didn’t see him much because he works away most weeks since I was 3 months, but I made do with it. Then we started being a Saturday carer for someone. The entire Saturday was what he wanted. Macdonalds every week, and one set of bowling. I couldn’t refuse the macdonalds. I couldn’t go to the arcade area while the others bowled. But this was ok. It was still time with dad.

Sunday then became a day to visit nana. I love her and I would never change this. Then it also became the day grandma comes for tea. Then Saturday was also a day for grandma to come. Then Friday.

When I was in my young teens, my dad got sick. He had to have a surgery, which removed a gland which is partially responsible for controlling anger. Since then, my dad has been so scary.

He yells so much when things go wrong. He gets angry on the road and I feel like we’re going to crash. He got annoyed I was saying I needed to go to the hospital, that I was *dying* and told me to man up. I ended up hospitalised, on oxygen, drip in my arm giving me the fluids I’d spent days missing out on.

That was the first time I can remember him cancelling a work trip.

I’ve always been a daddy’s kid, because I barely get time with him. And he’s always been a gift parent, because he doesn’t know how to make up for how long he’s away. And he’s too scared to apologise for screaming at me and hurting me. He dislocated my wrist and my shoulder one night. He wanted to take my phone. I was left on my bed feeling violated and scared and in pain and I had to put my joints back in myself. I’m too quiet, he calls me “creeping jesus” and sometimes I’m just trying to get past him and he won’t know I’m there and he’ll whack me as a first response.

One time he sprayed salt water Inbetween my upper thighs, on my… feminine parts. because I wasn’t waking up fast enough. It sure did wake me up.

When he gets annoyed with me I feel so scared, but when he’s happy I feel so loved. Im so confused and scared.

He also just got a new apprentice and shes my age. She travels with him. I’m so jealous. He talks about her a lot. I want to be her so bad. I’d kill to be her. She’s taking my dad away from me. I hate her so much.

Hi anon,

I'm sorry to hear about the way your dad has been mistreating and abusing you. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

It doesn't completely make sense to me that the removal of a gland that "controls anger" is the reason why he mistreats you. Because in my mind, when something that has been partially controlling his anger is removed and as a result he has been tormenting you, that implies that those urges were there this whole time and he was merely holding them back. The process of behavior typically relies on desire, which is filtered before it is acted upon. When you remove that filter, every desire to act becomes action, regardless of what the filter would've stopped. So the removal of the filter isn't to blame so much as the origin of those desires, if that makes sense. So ultimately, I don't think it's his surgery that's to blame, it's himself. I think it's important to hold him accountable for his actions regardless of any medical procedures he's undergone.

There is no excuse for him to neglect getting you medical attention, exhibiting road rage especially with you as a passenger, physically abusing you, or not apologizing to you. That's hurtful and damaging to you and as your father he should recognize that.

I can understand how conflicting it feels to be fond of someone who also hurts and scares you in one moment and is happy the next. It's valid to have mixed feelings about your father. I hope that your dad can either better learn to manage his behavior or that you can reach a safe distance from him. I wish you the best.

If anyone reading this has any additional comments, it would be highly appreciated.

-Bun

[vldkeith]

all this anon hate ur getting is making me sad :(( so i'm here to say ur new blog is very cool and give me more young keith hc's pls <3

👀👀 thank u!! i decided maybe my theme should reflect my new url a bit more lol fjgkfhdgks here are some young keith hcs ❤️

little keith, same as older keith, has a tendency to look at rules, go “that’s stupid”, and immediately break them. 

the rule he hates MOST is that hes not allowed to leave his desk at school even if he’s done w something. he literally does not get it and he thinks it’s bullshit so any time he finishes smth early he will simply get up and leave

the teachers always rush after him and theyre like “keith. we talked about this.” and keith is like well i was gonna come back sooo.....

texas kogane is Very Used to getting calls from the school re his troublesome son’s troublesome activities 

school: hey. it’s us again. 

texas: hi. what happened?

school: well he beat someone up again...

texas: cool, cool, i see. okay. so what did that person do? 

school:

school: they called him gay

texas: ohh okay! so you’re calling to tell me that that kid is getting punished and keith gets a reward for standing up for himself, right? 

school: not exac--

texas: *hangs up* 

he likes to collect things!! nothing of significance tho, just little objects he finds many of :)

his biggest collection consists of cicada husks! he was so amazed when he saw the first one just sitting on a tree, and after his dad explained that it was just the shedded remains of a still-alive cicada, he started picking them up wherever he saw them. they make a small army on one of his shelves now

he gets into emo music at 13, just before shiro finds him, and that phase lasts until he’s at least 15

keith: *scream-crying to fake your death mcr when he thinks shiro isnt home* 

shiro: *comes home early* 

shiro:

shiro: hey, kiddo! what’s, ah...what’s up! 

keith, shutting his mouth instantly and schooling his face into a deadpan expression: nothing. im doing nothing. go away. 

shiro: ha ha...you sure? 

keith, looking shiro dead in the eyes, aware that there are still tear streaks on his cheek: im sure. 

shiro:

shiro: okay! well we’re having tacos for dinner tonight

shiro, later that night at dinner after looking up the song keith had been singing: so! adam. do you ever feel like....choosing defeat? just, you know, walking away? there’s so much pain in the world...are you looking at it? i feel that way sometimes. i think it’s important that we feel like we are able to discuss these feelings openly and without shame--

adam, as keith is banging his head on the table: jesus christ takashi

kid keith, despite being p good athletically, would NEVER participate in gym activities. he just flat out refused. eventually his teachers got so tired of dealing with him that they just told him to go run laps whenever team activities arose and he’d do it, gladly 

all the students are like “wow he’s so gifted he gets to be on a separate training program from the rest of us...so cool....” meanwhile the teachers are just relieved that they don’t have to deal with his complaining for at least another half hour sfkdghfdgkfds

he always stole from the scholastic book fair bc he wanted the cool things and didn’t think it was fair that elementary school kids had to Pay for their own enjoyment, especially if it was being shoved in their faces...anti capitalist king <3

keith doesnt hate his childhood, not really. when his dad was around it was always fun, and he didn’t have that many years when he was alone before shiro, so there was plenty of space for fun :’)

[geges]

I hope this isn't too rude or assuming, but I also wanted to know, if u had any favorite moments in any media u've liked that you're okay with sharing? (just asking since this also appears to be a fandom(??) / anime(??) blog and if u're ok with answering something really offtopic)

ANON I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU…. I WOULD LOVE TO INFODUMP ABT MY INTERESTS. PLS. sadly yes i’m mostly a fandom/interests blog, mostly cnovels and manhua, so this ask is pretty on-topic for my blog. obligatory disclaimer a lot of these things have Problems and Issues so this isn’t me saying i am an uncritical fan of the media this is just a list of scenes that make me incredibly hhghgnnneennn. some of them made me cry in the chicken feed aisle in a Tractor’s Supply once and im still upset abt that one. a lot of these have spoilers for various cnovels so i put it under a cut :)

additional warning that um. there's a lot of mentioned death/suicide. most of these are characters dying honestly

so, Media Of All Time favourite scenes:

(tgcf) legitimately every scene with qi rong im not joking i go crazy over him. notable mention of that scene in the Final Battle with gu zi……….. i’m insane

(liu yao) um. i don’t remember the main character’s name. but yeah him dying <3 jiayou! that one drives me insane i read it like once a week

(nan chan) mr human magikarp fucking dying and jin ling just….. losing it

(nan chan) jin ling’s subsequent imprisonment and isolation :)

(nan chan) JIN LING MURDER SPREE!!!!!!!

(huang jin tai) yan xiaohan getting drugged and immediately going to stab himself so that he doesn’t “betray” fu shen

(qian qiu) yan wushi hiding shen qiao in that buddha statue and running off to die

(teio) THE FUCKING EARTHWORM CRYING. GOD

(teio) everything with bai ruoyao. i love him im so homophobic

(mo du) fei du suffering for five entire books straight

(mo du) that scene near the end where he has to grasp the trigger handhold and his Immense Certified Trauma kicks in

(mo du) luo wenzhou NOT pokemon evolving into a big red flag the second he got one glimpse past fei du’s walls. Like that man saw Fei Du: Genuinely Unwell Extraordinaire, and not only did he not jab fd with a horse tranq, he just went and made the man dinner. what the fuck

(twwtadsl) the betrayal scene <3

(tsomd) sui zhou almost dying for tang fan like 2302984 times but notable mention of the First Time when he tried to die for tang fan in the fight against the tomb guardian

(missing sect leader) wei jiangyue going “I JUST CANT STAND IT WHEN HE’S NOT ALRIGHT……………..”

(missing sect leader) wei jiangyue making a bet with ye you that hinges the fate of the world or whatever and his terms for if he wins. instead of using the chance to ask for something large. he asks yy to just tell him something. anything at all. just tell him something

(missing sect leader) wei jiangyue telling ye you he will die for him to repent for his father’s mistake but hiding the fact that his willingness to die for yy comes from his love for him, not his guilt

(missing sect leader) that scene where yy reveals his identity and wjy realises that no matter what he has to leave yy alone and cannot even approach him again. and just sinking in shame and regret to spend his entire lifetime in pain from the fact that his presence causes yy pain

(missing sect leader) in front of the entire jianghu. wei jiangyue giving himself up to the threat of being brutally killed be ye you if it meant yy was given some sort of closure. jesus christ i don’t even like this book this much and yy/wjy isn’t even canon why do they have so much on this list

(tong qian kan shi) the insect cave scene <3

(tqks) xuanmin closing his eyes as he is put through incredible pain and torture, being literally killed, in order for xue xian to enact his revenge against the great priest

(tqks) the great priest forcing xx to recognize that his revenge will also kill xuanmin as collateral, xx not recognising xuanmin, and xuanmin just. closing his eyes and accepting his death

(tqks) xuanmin using his last dying action to dig out his own bones and bury them under the mountains to free xue xian.

(tqks) xuanmin making his way over to the unconscious xue xian, kneeling in front of him (really falling lmao), and dying while never looking away from his face :)

(tqks) xx regaining his memories, remembering xuanmin, and looking up to see xuanmin laying dead in his arms. then feeling fear for the first time in his life. man. man. ok

(qqgk) “MY DEAR, IF I LEFT MYSELF BY YOUR EAR, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO HEAR ME? MAY WE MEET AGAIN IN A WORLD WHERE THE SMOKE IS GONE” THIS QUOTE MAKES ME INSANE. IM INSANE. JESUS CHRIST

(qqgk) the recurring imagery of snow. the snow. its about. it’s about. The devotion. oh god

(hsav) xiao yuan trying to die like. 6 times for yan heqing. also xya being tortured to save yhq. and then him trying to kill himself earlier . and then him killing himself for real later to make life easier for yhq

(tgcf) just. everything honestly. the “i am god” scene. the getting demolished by a ridiculous amount of swords scene.

(wushuang) cui buqu in the maze trying to die for feng xiao

(wushuang) feng xiao in the maze trying to die for cui buqu

(zhongji lanyin) su qing almost dying under the cave-in

(zhongji lanyin) hu bugui protecting su qing from the thorns

(谁动了我的骨灰坛) jiang xichu seeing chen man kill herself and not being able to do anything about it. literally the only scene i care abt from that book i ate that shit up

okay typing this out made me realise there is a very noticeable theme here. well. i really like tragedy so honestly i don't know know what i expected from this. if i re-read all my favourite books i would probably be able to give you a list of scenes i loved that have legitimate literary importance, value, and beauty, but sadly i have the memory of a goldfish and cannot remember most plots unless im Actively Looking At Them. so instead here is a list of scenes that are all candidates for making me cry during my next visit to a Tractor's Supply. thank you sm for the ask im in love with you

[miekasa]

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously. 

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

[bonesandthebees]

SD ANON BUT I AM 20 NOW! what the fuck ! what the fuck ! i still feel 18! but i am going to the tide pools for my birthday with two friends who are in town! tragic thing about being in college is that your spring break either doesn’t align w high school friends’ or your college friends go to their homes BUT some of my hs friends came back early so i am excited and also like. existentially terrified a bit about my early 20s.

ANYWAYS a ton of things have happened since last time i responded!! i kept meaning to and then another Thing would happen so. car crash poem went over very well my established poet prof was like. i thought you were an english major. and also said she would waive any prereqs for me if i wanted to take her advanced poetry class which !! requires a manuscript acceptance usually!!

soba stir fry was excellent i put in a little too much chili sesame oil but once i got used to the spicy it was fantastic

well see my roommate is 19 and he is now 24. but whatever! she is an adult. the big news is that my other roommates have broken up in a Big Thing that was like. not just a dating thing also a roommate boundary thing. and it is not my roommate’s fault at all. it’s such a long story but basically the other one literally won’t acknowledge she did smth wrong/apologize to my roommate/apologize to me/have a conversation instead of running away every weekend

so. she is finding a way to get out of her lease. good riddance imo she was Something.

also yes!! dishes + stream or dishes + chuckle sandwich is my go to. now that my college doesn’t do gym reservations anymore gym is also where i catch up on vods and videos! have to hide phone screen when people walk past but i am unlearning that

arc 2 arc 2 arc 2 i love your writing and i’m always excited to see where it goes!

lyft. painful. uber is cheaper sometimes but like, i went to two concerts in feb and for one i had to ask someone to drive bc the lyft was a whole 70$ for 20 minutes

also yes! the dead kelp smell i miss it i can’t wait to be near the ocean again like it’s still cold n stuff outside but!! ocean!! i wish i could get an ocean scented candle but like a Real One

agnes hit me so hard every time and it’s so so so good man i just love glass animals ! i have heard heat waves everywhere at this point and it hasn’t gotten old but sometimes you are standing in a sally’s beauty supply thinking about how you know far too many things about why this song is playing.

i missed these conversations! work somehow just has a habit of sneaking up and drowning you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SD ANON!!! hope you have fun at the tide pools, they're so cool! and yeah spring break never aligns istg, I don't have spring break till next week (and I have finals rn I'm suffering)

YOOO that's so cool your prof will let you into the advanced poetry class! so awesome that she liked your poem!

oh god every time i use chili oil i end up putting too much and then i suffer but god soba stir fry with chili oil sounds so good rn im so hungry

that's a lot of roommate drama goddamn. at least the one roommate is looking to move out so you guys aren't all stuck in a very awkward situation! roommate fights are terrible especially when the other person refuses to try and work it out

lmao i still hide my phone when i'm watching streams at my favorite coffee shop. like no thanks don't need anyone to know i'm using my free time to watch a 17 year old british kid play minecraft

SEVENTY??? JESUS CHRIST tbf I guess gas is like. insane rn. but holy shit that's so much

god same i love heat waves as a song because it's a bop but it always makes me think of That and i'm like why...

and ty i'm excited for arc 2 too!! we're finally a bit into it and i'm just like yesss the entire reason i wrote this fic aaaa

i've missed our conversations too but i totally get the busy thing, I gotta go study for finals now OOPS