#i hope this is helpful! i'll probably do one of these every couple of days until i've exhausted all the topics.

[moonyswifee]

the void, shifting, pure consciousness & why it "isn't working" for you.

there are probably a million posts on tumblr about why you can't enter the void, 200 different methods to do it, and what all you're doing wrong. but some people still do not get it, which is fine, so im hoping this post might help them.

the void state is just you. pure consciousness is just you. the I AM state is just you.

its all inside of you. you're not entering a separate dimension when you're going into the void state. you're just placing your awareness inside you, more than your physical form.

now moving on to why you can't get into that state, which is probably why you're reading this post anyways. there's a hundred different methods and tools online and you tried them all, and all it resulted was in your being frustrated, dejected and having a sense of failure.

let me tell you, i was literally in the same place as you just a few days ago. i kept listening to subliminals, alpha meditations, affirming and what not. but i didnt, as you might expect, enter the void.

this is because when we try all these different methods, and get frustrated when it doesnt work out, its sending a message to the universe and to our subconscious, that we are in a state of lack. no matter how much you affirm otherwise, if your energy is giving off that you dont have something, but you need something, you're not going to get it.

the more you chase something, the farther it runs from you.

and right now, trying all those methods and waking up dejected and frustrated, "why can i not go into the void? im doing everything right!" because you are functioning from a state of lack. you are doing too much. going into the void is supposed to be easy and relaxing. you're not supposed to overthink it. if you keep affirming that state of lack unknowingly into your subconscious, that is whats going to happen.

so my advice on this would be— to detach.

and no, i don't mean stop wanting your desires, or completely give up on waking up in the void.

i mean, know that you want to wake up in the void, and just let it happen. I'll give some steps that you can follow if they feel right:

1. choose one method. what i mean by this is that you can choose a method that you know could serve you best, personally for me, I've found it is SATS. even just having awareness of the void can work.

2. repeat affirmations. whenever you feel like it. just pick a couple or affirmations, or just one, and repeat it whenever you feel like it throughout the day. some examples are-

☆ i always easily wake up in the void.

☆ i can effortlessly induce the void state.

☆ i am always aware in the void state.

3. also do affirmations while you're trying to enter. whenever you're going to try to enter the void again, with whatever method, saying some mental or verbal affirmations could be helpful. but do not do them if it feels too forced. you can just say it before you induce the void state also. some affirmations like-

☆ i am.

☆ i am the void.

☆ i am pure consciousness.

☆ i am aware of the void.

5. let it flow. probably the most important one here. just decide, and let it come to you naturally. what i mean by this is, you've done your method, you've said your affirmations and you believe in them, which is important. you have done literally everything in your power. now let the void come to you. do not chase after it, like i said, the more you chase, the further it runs.

there is literally not one success story that i have ever read, where the person says that they got into the void after hard work, or stressing or frustration. every single success story, is about how it was easy, and unexpected. so if you're feeling stressed about it, and still trying, guess what? its not going to work.

say your affirmations, believe that you will wake up in the void state, and let. it. go.

but even if you don't wake up in the void state on the first day of trying, its OKAY. don't get frustrated or dejected by that. its normal for it to take some time. just wake up, and keep affirming.

personally, before going to bed (which is when i prefer to enter the void) i like to say "i am going to wake up in the void tonight." and even if i dont, i wake up the next morning and i like to say "i did enter the void." even if i didnt, it kind of affirms to your brain. then just move on with your day, and don't stress about it.

in summary, the void will only work if you stop chasing it. do your work, and let go. and keep trying. its a natural state of being. its okay if it takes some time, dont beat yourself up over it. you are not doing anything wrong. just trust, and you will wake up in the void eventually <3

[archaeren]

Hello!! I hope you're having a good day ^^ I came across your post about writing non-linearly on Notion and I'm excited to try it out because the advice resonated with me! Though, I'm really new to using the app and, if possible, need help with how to do this part: 'where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry.' ;v;

Hello! Thank you so much for messaging!!! Since that post about writing non-linearly (linked for context) blew up roughly ten thousand times as much as anything I've ever posted, I've been kind of meaning to make a followup post explaining more about how I use Notion for writing non-linearly, but, you know, ADHD, so I haven't done it yet. XD In the meantime, I'll post a couple screenshots of my current long fic with some explanations! I'd make this post shorter, but I'm unable to not be Chatty. XD (just ask my poor readers how long my author notes are...) (There is a phone app as well which syncs with the desktop/browser versions, but I work predominantly in the desktop app so that's what I'm gonna be showing)

(the table keeps going off the right side of the image but it's a bunch of unimportant stuff tbh) So this is more complicated than what you'll probably start with because I'm Normal and add a bunch of details that you might not need depending on what you're doing. For example, my fic switches POVs so I have a column for tracking that, and my fic follows a canon timeline so I have a column for dates so I can keep track of them, and I also made columns for things like if a scene had spoilers or certain content readers may want to avoid, which they can access in my spoiler and content guide for the fic. (As I said, I'm Normal.) I also do some complicated stuff using Status and estimated wordcount stuff to get an idea of how long I predict the content to be, but again, not necessary. Anyway, you don't need any of that. For the purposes of this explanation, we're just gonna look at the columns I have called Name, Order, and Status. (And one called Part, but we'll get into that later) Columns in Notion have different types, such as Text, Numbers, Select, Date, etc, so make sure to use the type that works best for the purpose of each column! For example, here I'm using Select for Character POVs, Number for Order and WC (wordcount), and Text for the In-Game Date. Okay let's get into it! Name is a column that comes in a Notion table by default, and you can't get rid of it (which drives me up the wall for some purposes but works totally fine for what we're doing here). As you can see on the scene I've labeled 'roll call', if you hover over a Name entry, a little button called 'Open' appears, which you click on to open the document that's inside the table. That's all default, you don't have to set anything up for it. Here's a screenshot of what it looks like when I click the one titled 'I will be anything for you' (I've scrolled down in the screenshot so you can see the text, but all the data fields also appear at the top of the page)

(This view is called 'side peek' meaning the document opens on one side and you can still see the table under it on the left, which is what mine defaults to. But you can set it to 'center peek' or 'full page' as well.) All my scenes have their own entry like this! Note that I've said scenes, not chapters. I decide the chapters later by combining the scenes in whatever combination feels right, which means I can often decide in advance where my chapter endings will be. This helps me consciously give most of my endings more impact than I was usually able to do when I tried to write linearly. So hopefully that gives you an idea of what I mean by writing inside the table and treating the table as a living outline. The 'Status' column is also pretty straightforward, and might require a little setup for whatever your needs are. This is another default column type Notion has which is similar to a Select but has a few more specialized features. This is how mine is set up:

(I don't actually use 'Done', idk why I left it there. Probably I should replace it with 'Posted' and use that instead of the checkmark on the far left? whatever, don't let anyone tell you I'm organized. XDD)

Pretty straightforward, it just lets me see easily what's complete and what still needs work. (You'll notice there's no status for editing, because like I mentioned in my other post, I don't ever sit down to consciously edit, I just let it happen as I reread) Obviously tailor this to your own needs! The Order column is sneakily important, because this is what makes it easy for me to keep the scenes organized. I set the Sort on the table to use the Order to keep the scene ordered chronologically. When I make the initial list of scenes I know the fic will have, I give all of them a whole number to put them in order of events. Then as I write and come up with new scene ideas, the new scenes get a number with a decimal point to put them in the spot they fit in the timeline. (you can't see it here, but some of them have a decimal three or four digits deep, lol). Technically you can drag them to the correct spot manually, but if you ever create another View in your table (you can see I have eight Views in this one, they're right under the title) it won't keep your sorting in the new View and you'll hate yourself when it jumbles all your scenes. XD (And if you get more comfortable with Notion, you probably will at some point desire to make more Views) The Part column isn't necessary, but I found that as the fic grew longer, I was naturally separating the scenes into different points along the timeline by changes in status quo, etc. (ex. "this is before they go overseas" "this is after they speak for the first time", stuff like that) in my mind. To make it easier to decide where to place new scenes in the timeline, I formalized this into Parts, which initially I named with short summaries of the current status quo, and later changed to actual titles because I decided it would be cool to actually use them in the fic itself. Since it's not in the screenshots above, here's what the dropdown for it looks like:

(I've blocked some of the titles out for spoiler reasons)

Basically I only mention the Parts thing because I found it was a useful organizational tool for me and I was naturally doing it in my head anyway. Anyway, I could keep talking about this for a really long time because I love Notion (don't get me started on how I use toggle blocks for hiding content I've edited out without deleting it) but that should be enough to get started and I should really, you know, not make this another insanely long post. XDD And if anybody is curious about how the final results look, the fic can be found here.

[literaila]

sick

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: satoru does not get the 'flu' that you have, or why you can't take megumi to the bookstore

warnings: symptoms of the flu, satoru is a bastard, cute kids

last part | next part

*

year two.

you:  can you take megumi to the bookstore? i can't make it 

"megumi wants me to ask you what you mean by 'i can't make it.'" 

your phone rings as soon as the message is sent, making you groan and roll over in bed. your palms are sweaty, and your body feels a bit like you got eaten alive. 

you probably shouldn't have answered, but honestly, how can you be expected to make smart decisions in this state?

you sigh into the phone. "it means that i can't make it, satoru." 

usually, his voice would make you smile but right now it just makes you want to die. and sleep for a couple... billion years, at least. 

"megumi wants me to ask what you mean by that?" satoru says again like you can't tell he's grinning. 

"just let me talk to him," you sigh, turning over on your side, which does nothing to ease the ache in your abdomen, by the way. you feel briefly nauseous like you might need the bowl you dragged under the covers, but it eases. you swallow bile. 

"what's wrong?" satoru asks, still teasing, and doesn't put megumi on the phone because he has never, not once in his life done anything without an argument. 

really, why do you put up with him?

"nothing." 

"well you just forgot that both of the kids are in school right now, like they are every day, so..." 

you close your eyes, pulling the covers up even higher. "oh. yeah." 

"did you get hurt, or something?" satoru asks, no concern evident in his voice, "going on another mission?" 

"no." 

satoru is silent, waiting. and you really truly do hate him. anyone else would just do you this favor. 

but not your best friend, no, he does nothing you ask. 

"i'm sick," you tell him, after a whole minute of silence. 

you can almost hear it as his brows furrow. "what?" 

"i have the flu or something," you cough into the receiver, hoping that it hurts his ear. 

"how?" 

"ugh," you groan, trying to rub the ache out of your jaw. "not all of us are immune to getting sick, you freak. will you take megumi to the bookstore for me? please?" 

"i don't think he wants to go with me." 

"satoru," you whine. 

"...and also i'm not allowed to enter the premises anymore." 

you sniff, wishing that you had more tissues, "what? since when?" 

"a couple weeks ago," he answers, nonchalantly. you can hear him moving around, probably wreaking havoc on the house you'll have to deep clean in a couple of days. 

not to mention your room. seriously, getting sick is the worst. 

"why?" 

"nuh uh," he says to you, very seriously. "that's between me and the children. they swore me to secrecy, and you're the one that's always going on and on about trust and how easily it's broken..." 

"you mean that you swore them to secrecy." 

"i bribed them," satoru agrees as if it's not an insane thing to say about your seven and eight-year-olds. 

"with what?!" 

"tsumiki took the offer of picking whatever takeout she wanted, and i think megumi was just glad i couldn't bring him anymore, the brat." 

you can hear his eyes roll, and the mention of the little boy's name reminds you of why you're having this discussion in the first place. 

"satoru... i really can't take him and i promised we'd go today," you groan into your pillow, voice feeling very sore. you shouldn't be talking to this insane man right now, you should be asleep. 

he pauses. "i can wear a disguise, i guess?" 

you groan again, hopefully, louder. "no, you're right about him not wanting to go with you." 

"rude." 

"i guess i'll just..." you attempt to sit up for the third time, feeling a bit dizzy as you do so. "i'll take some medicine and see if i feel better by the time they get out of school."

you're already mentally checking your medicine cabinet, not even sure if you have anything to help this ease by later in the afternoon. just some pain relief would be nice, but if you're contagious...

"what? no."

"well, you can't take him," you answer, still annoyed. 

"he doesn't need to go..." 

you hope that satoru can feel your scowl. "i promised." 

"he's a reasonable kid..." satoru says, clearly not remembering the brooding that happened the last time megumi had to re-read one of his books. "i think." 

you're silent. 

"look, i'll talk to him, okay?" he settles on, finally. "and i'll give him a couple hundred yen, it'll be fine. 

your mouth opens, and you cough, before, "no, satoru--" 

"get some rest," he exclaims, unpleasantly. 

"have him call me when you pick them up, satoru--" 

"don't die of the flu or anything." 

and then he's gone, and now you've got a headache, too. 

*

you think you might be dreaming when you open your front door.

the knocking had woken you up--you think--but with how long it took to walk from your room, into the hallway, and then the door, honestly, you might've fainted. or decided to take another nap against the wall. 

because once you open it, it feels like you've done this before.  

once again, three people are standing in front of you, two of them already arguing before you even take a step back to swing the door all the way open. 

the light hurts your head as you squint at the three of them. 

"it was my idea--" megumi is saying to satoru, grumpy, you know, from all day at school, and because he's talking to satoru.

"you're not taking all of the credit," satoru says back, "i bought everything." 

"'cause you're rich." 

"wow, so you're objectifying me?" 

"yes," megumi answers immediately, even though you doubt that he even knows what objectifying means (actually, you're pretty certain satoru doesn't even know). you cough, and it feels like something has died inside of you. 

the three of them turn towards you, tsumiki with a pleading look.

"it was my idea, okay?" megumi tells you before anyone else can say anything, and then he pulls tsumiki along with him as they move past you, through the door, into your apartment. 

yes, it's clear that satoru has raised them. 

"i said we should bring soup," tsumiki looks up at you, waiting for the praise she knows you'll give her. 

"our idea," megumi amends, easily. 

then they're out of your reach, going to sit on the very same couch they'd slept on a year ago, probably trying to escape satoru.

who you turn to, with a frown. his hair is so white it hurts to look at.

he points into your apartment, "those are devil spawn." 

you cough. "don't call them that." 

he raises a brow at you. probably at how soft your voice is, or the fact that you haven't hit him in the thirty seconds he's been standing there. 

it's a new record. 

"why are you here?" you rasp out, wiping some snot from your nose.

"no 'hello?'" 

"hello, satoru," your voice is retched, "why are you here?" 

"you look kinda rough, kid," 

you sniff, leaning against the doorjam. you could fall asleep here in an instant. "i'm sick, you jerk." 

"so this is sickness..." satoru says, intrigued, pretending to inspect you closely like you're some lab experiment. 

"i distinctly remember a cold that had you shaking on the floor of your dorm, begging shoko to heal you." 

satoru points a finger at you. "that was an uncurable illness." 

"and yet we're still stuck with you." 

satoru just smirks, pretending to be an angel he is not. 

you cough again and then sigh. it's cold with the door open. "are you just here to annoy me?"

"no," satoru shakes his head, giving you a ridiculous look, "well, i was telling megumi that you couldn't take him to the bookstore, cause of your disease or whatever," he ignores your weak protest, "and then i suggested that maybe we could see how you were feeling, bring you a little gift basket--" 

"no, he didn't!" megumi calls. 

satoru frowns. "devil. spawn." 

you snort, somehow amused at all of them, finally moving aside so he can walk through the door. 

satoru passes, suddenly brighter, but not before leaving an obnoxious kiss on your cheek--a resounding smack following. to which, you promptly wipe off. 

he frowns, and you push him so you can close the door. and then you trail into the kitchen, sitting down immediately before you fall. 

it's so embarrassing that just standing for too long has made you this lightheaded. 

satoru sets a bag on your kitchen counter and begins to unpack it. 

you try to see over his hands. "what did you bring me?" 

"you guys are so unappreciative," satoru tells you, pouting, "you only want me for my goods." 

"and the view," you answer, easily. "what'd you get?" 

megumi and tsumiki comes over to you, both of them giving you a short (megumi) and tight (tsumiki) hug. you've trained them well. 

"soup!" tsumiki tells you, grabbing the container from satoru's hands, despite his look. and then she walks over to your stove, looking in the cupboards for a pot to heat it in. 

because she's used to taking care of herself. they both are. 

"satoru," you nod to her, and he frowns, but reluctantly takes over, pushing tsumiki away from the stove. you're both familiar with this behavior from her. 

most days when you make dinner, tsumiki is trying to sneak into the kitchen, refusing to let you take care of it. 

she pouts a little now, but lets satoru handle the soup.

"gojo got you all of these," megumi tells you, bringing your eyes away from the other man, pushing a stack of pill bottles and medicine containers your way. "i don't think he knows what any of them are." 

"hey! that's a great selection," satoru pours the soup into a pot and sets it on the stove, returning to the counter with the three of you.

"this is a muscle relaxant," you tell him, frowning as you look at the packages--most of which are not for the flu. this is why he's not allowed to go to the store without you.

"well, your muscles need to relax, don't they?" satoru asks, dryly. "wish we could find some of those for your brain..." he mutters, afterward, and you throw the packet right at his face. 

"i found those little sour things you like," megumi continues, smirking just a moment at satoru. "they didn't have a big bag." 

"thanks, megs." 

"there's tissues, and chapstick if your lips get dry. and i picked out the cough drops because gojo wanted to get chocolate flavored or something--" 

"strawberry!" 

megumi rolls his eyes. 

tsumiki steps to your side again. "and we got flowers, but those are still in the car." 

"no, they're not," satoru suddenly has a bouquet of roses in his hands, almost covering his entire face. "they're right here." 

"when did you do that?" 

"when you guys were ridiculing my excellent taste," he pouts, white hair falling over his glasses. 

you laugh. 

"where's your vase?" he asks, going through every cupboard before finally listening to your answer. he settles on the other end of your kitchen, cutting and arranging the bouquet. 

tsumiki taps you. "are you feeling bad?" 

"just a little out of it, sweetie, don't worry." 

"did we get everything you need?" megumi chimes in, giving you a brief moment of eye contact before looking away. 

"yes. you guys did great, thank you both. you're very sweet." 

satoru ahems loudly. "and what about me?" 

"you could've done better." 

the kids both laugh and you push them into the living room, telling them to go sit down for a bit--knowing that satoru dragged them from school to the store to here without a break--and that you'll find a snack for them. 

and then you sigh, a bit nauseous from sitting up for so long. 

"do you need to lay down?" satoru peers at you, setting the bouquet on your table. "you look green." 

"thanks. how'd you learn to do that?" you gesture to the flowers which are arranged beautifully. honestly, you're surprised he didn't leave them on the counter for you to deal with. 

"i am a gentleman." 

"ha. no, seriously." 

"...i may, or may not have looked up what to bring someone who has the flu--and the flowers were extra, but!" he pauses as you laugh at him, resting your head against the cool counter. "i only had to do that because i don't get affected by stupid things like the flu or whatever you have." 

"of course," you whisper, closing your eyes. 

and then there's a hand on your forehead. "you're really warm." 

you press your head into his hand, which is also pleasantly cold. "yeah." 

"did you sleep all day?" 

you nod. 

"really? that's so lazy." 

you push him away, and he laughs, just loud enough for you to hear it. you open your eyes again when you hear him move away, watching him stir the soup on the stove. 

"you probably shouldn't have brought them here," you tell him, gesturing to the living room. "i don't want to get them sick." 

"they missed you," satoru shrugs. "you wouldn't want them to be sick alone." 

"yeah, but..." 

"i'm the worrier today," he interrupts, wrapping his hand around your wrist so he can pull you. "go lay down on the couch with them and i'll get your soup ready." 

"you'll burn it, you mean?" 

"as a punishment for all of the cruel things you say to me," and satoru smiles as he nudges the top of your head with his nose. 

his eyes are almost stern (almost, but not quite) as he watches you lay down on the couch, your hands gestured in defeat, and nods when you're settled in. 

when he walks away, you call, "bring us some water!" 

there's no response, but you know he'll do it. 

tsumiki just slightly nudges you with her hand and you smile, opening your arms for her to cuddle under. 

megumi doesn't do the same, but you don't fail to notice when he scooches just a little bit closer to you both, his thigh touching yours. 

your head still hurts and even the smell of the soup is making you a bit sick, but you'll deal with it as long as they're all here. 

*

you're arguing with satoru about dinner, several days later, when tsumiki and megumi sneeze at exactly the same time. 

it took a couple of days for you to recover, but now you're better than ever, happily fighting with satoru over the stupidest things and watching over both of the children for any defects that happened while you were out of sorts. 

they're mostly okay. 

but now the both of you look over to them, your eyes wide, satoru almost wincing. 

and then you look back to him, already scowling. 

"hey, it was just a sneeze," he tells you, quickly, already knowing what you're about to say. 

"i told you--" 

and then he sneezes, taking a step away from you. 

you groan, giving up on dinner. it looks like the next few days are going to be spent coddling all of your children. 

*

next part

[admirationandromantics]

Hyper-dependent

Okay, this was a request, and I feel like I'm slowly getting my flow back. Sorry to say, but I have deleted some of the requests because I just didn't feel motivated to do them. This doesn't mean that I'll stop! I appreciate every one I get, and I hope to receive more as time goes on.

This one is quite angsty, and deals with Josh's trauma after the mountain. Yes, you are basically emotional support. You're dating, he feel bad (of course) and nightmares regularly haunt him. There's also smut because of the request (and some people cope that way I guess). Anyways, enjoy <3

The events of the cabin were long over, and luckily, everyone survived. I don’t know how, and I didn’t think we would, but somehow, it happened. Josh was stuck down in the mines for a while. Days… I wasn’t allowed to search for him with the professionals, but I was the first one who got to see him at the hospital. His parents arrived shortly after as well, and they were glad that he was okay. He moved home for a couple of weeks, but came back in with me when the health professionals told him it was possible. I couldn’t wait. They told me it would be a lot of work, and sometimes, he has really bad days. I understood their concern, but I wanted him, I wanted him back. And maybe getting back to the usual routine would do him good? 

They were right. The days that were bad were horrible. Hours upon hours of crying and screaming. He exhausted himself at the end, finally falling into my arms and falling asleep. I knew he still mourned his sisters, but the monsters upon that mountain made him terrified. Sometimes he hid a knife under the bed, paranoid that they’d come for him. I still did my best to help him, even though I struggled myself. These events affected all of us after all. That’s what made it worse, I couldn’t even talk to them about it. They struggled as well, and many just wanted to put the events behind them. 

***

“I fucked up” Josh whispers beside me. It’s the middle of the night, and due to his violent sleep, I haven’t been able to relax. 

“It’s okay” I put my hand on his cheek, caressing carefully and grounding him. The most important thing is that he stays grounded, that he doesn’t do worse in a panicky state. 

“What if they come for me? What if they come for you?” 

“They won’t, I promise” 

He looks up at me, worried and concerned. He doesn’t seem that bad now. More like in a processing phase. He just needs some reassurance. 

“Are you sure” 

I smile, grabbing the hem of my t-shirt. Well, Josh’s shirt, but it was the perfect sleeping wear. If he needed reassurance, then he would get it. After all, I was not supporting the whole ‘being prepared for death’-thing he had going. I could sleep in a vulnerable position, confident that nothing would happen while I did. I mean, it makes sense in my head. 

“I’m so sure that I’ll sleep naked. Know why?” 

“Because they’re not coming tonight?” 

“Exactly” 

I fully take off the top, before leaning down on his chest and pulling the covers over us. His heart is beating rapidly, and I rub soft circles over his bicep, trying to calm him. 

“You got hurt” 

“But I’m fine now” 

“I hurt you, I can never forgive myself for that” his voice breaks, silence following. We’ve been through this thing many times, but I understand why he isn’t letting it go. If I hurt him like that, the guilt would probably kill me. 

“You couldn’t have known what was on that mountain” 

“But I hurt you, I planned to hurt you”

“And I forgive you”

I lean upwards, giving him a small kiss. We could have this conversation a million times, and a million times I would say the same thing. I love him, and I forgive him. 

He turns, laying over me and capturing my lips again. This time it’s deeper, more passionate and rough. I break it off. 

“Josh, I don’t think we should do this in your state” 

“Please, just let me feel you” 

I oblige, pulling him down on me again. I caress his back, feeling the tensed up muscles under my fingertips. He needs to relax, to take a breath. His hand grabs my upper hips, groping harshly. The pain makes me wince, and he uses the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth, exploring my insides. I already feel myself getting wet. We’ve been having sex, on his good days at least, and there weren’t many of them nowadays. 

He grabs hold of my thigh, pulling my leg up as he grinds against me. He’s incredibly hard, and I wonder why. We just talked about the mountain, about me being hurt, about me being in pain… 

Our breaths line up, both of our pulses skyrocketing. He kisses down my chest, stomach and my inner thighs. He leaves rough bites, red marks which will probably last for days. Before the incident, we’d always been rough and hard when being intimate with each other, but after, he’d been much more careful, treating me like I was made of porcelain, afraid that a small nail mark would hurt me. Now, he goes against everything we’d been doing for the last months, and I love it. 

I look down, only to be met with his piercing gaze as he slowly drags my underwear off, throwing it on the floor. He holds the intense eye contact while lowering himself, his tongue coming in contact with my folds. I let out a breath, whining from his small touches. He’s barely touching me, knowing that the teasing will get me even wetter. 

“Josh…” 

He doesn’t answer, instead putting more pressure on me, resulting in more pleasurable sounds escaping my lips. I feel my core building up, body getting warmer, and nipples getting harder. I’m right on the edge, begging to be let free when he stops. I whine from the sudden lack of contact. 

He drags off his boxers, revealing himself. He doesn’t give me time to take him in, instead leaning over me, hands roaming my body. I’m wondering if he’s falling apart, if he wants to stop. I sit up, hand going to his face. Before I’m able to reach him, both of my ankles are gripped, tugging me down, leading to my back slamming down on the mattress again. I yelp, unsure about his next step. 

But he doesn’t waste time. His dick is running up and down my folds, begging to be let inside. He slams into me, everything at once. I give out a loud moan, a mixture of pain and pleasure surrounding me as he starts moving. He goes almost all out before slamming in again, making low grunt sounds as he breathes. The rhythmic pattern of his movements are mirrored by the sounds coming out of me. Endless tunes of moans and whimpers filling the dark bedroom. 

My heat starts building up again, taking me to the edge. I grip the sheets as I try to hold on a little more, wanting to come together. My body bounces back and forth on the mattress, my hand going over my head to stop it from slamming into the bedframe. He massages my thighs roughly, causing me to fall over. I come all over his cock whilst feeling high on ecstasy. My legs automatically squeeze around his torso, and it doesn’t take long for him to come after. He fills me up, slowly going out before falling on top of me. 

His face is wet, tears flowing as he nuzzles into the crook of my neck. He tries to mask the whimpers and hulks coming out, but ultimately fails. I put my arms around him, one going into his hair. I stroke up and down his back, hoping to calm him. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, trying to calm myself after my high. 

“Please just let me feel you a bit more” he manages to say, arms going around my waist, hugging and holding me down. I kiss his forehead, fingers still combing through his hair. 

“I’m here Josh. I’ll always be here”

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Your Favorite Flavor - pt2

modern!aemond x fem!dealer!reader

Part 1

Summary: Aemond accidentally sends you a text and he thinks you won’t respond but when you do and agree to visit him on campus over the weekend his head is filled with everything you guys are going to do. 

Warnings: 18+ swearing, smoking, drugs(weed), oral(f+m), i wanna say dry humping but no one was dry, p in v, unprotected, public 

Authors Note: i’m actually in love w writing this lil series so much 

Word Count: 5.5k idk i think this is so cute but it’s also so fkn filthy :) 

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After a particularly grueling late night study session in the library all Aemond wants to do is go back to his dorm and collapse into bed. Each step up to his floor feels as if it’s a mountain and by the time he gets to his door his eyes are basically shut. He grabs onto the handle and groans when he feels a piece of clothing. He drops his bag on the floor and sinks down next to it. He rests his head on the wall and waits for ten minutes before getting up and walking back down stairs.

The weeks following midterms have been getting better but he’s been distracted. His mind has been filled with you and he knows it shouldn’t be. You’re just his sisters dealer and you probably only fucked him out of pity. He can feel his face getting red the more upset he gets. He’s ashamed to admit that he’s read through your small message chain at least twice a day and is currently making it a third. 

He’s had a message typed out to you for a week now but hasn’t had the nerve to hit send. He pushes his phone back in his pocket and makes his way back to the library not having anywhere else to go. He sinks into one of the oversized chairs and pulls out his phone once more. His heart stops as he sees that he must’ve pressed send when putting his phone in his pocket. 

aemond: do you make house calls?

Gods it’s almost one in the morning. He stares at his phone willing it to go away until he sees the three dots pop up. You’re actually going to respond to him?

you: are you even home baby almond? we have a couple weeks left in the semester. 

aemond: i’m not even in my dorm. my roommate is occupied so i guess i get to sit in the library and wait. 

you: so you thought you’d text me hoping i could occupy you?

Aemond groans not wanting it to come off like that but it is the middle of the night. He racks his brain for a response and his heart races as he sees you typing again. 

you: and isn’t your uni like forever away 🙄

aemond: i didn’t mean it like that. i honestly didn’t mean to text you. i did. i have been wanting to but i don’t want to be annoying. i don’t even want to send this text right now. am i annoying?

Fuck he shouldn’t have sent that and he’s chewing his lip watching the bubble appear and disappear. 

you: you’re not annoying almond. if you were i wouldn’t have responded. i’m sorry you got kicked out of your dorm. and i guess, out of the kindness of my heart, i can make a house call for you.

His heart skips. He was joking. This was just supposed to be able to get a conversation going. Now all he can think about is having you spread beneath him on his mattress. 

aemond: you don’t have too, it's like an hour away. 

you: it’s the weekend tomorrow 🤷🏼‍♀️ unless you don’t want to spend your weekend with me

aemond: you want to spend your weekend with me?

you: if you promise diet dr pepper and chocolate 

aemond: i can provide those things for you

you: perfect. also i don’t bluff so every day i’m at your uni i'll be 🧎🏼‍♀️ just for you almond. 

aemond: where have you been all my life?

you: shh just send me the address and i’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. 

He can’t help his grin as he sends you the address and you text back and forth for a couple more minutes. He sighs, getting a text from his roommate saying it’s all clear with a quick apology and he begins to make his way back upstairs. By the time he collapses in bed his head is filled with thoughts of you and all the things he wants to do with you this weekend. 

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His roommate grumbles when Aemond tells him that he’s having a guest this weekend. His roommate says he’ll stay with some girl and leave him the dorm for the weekend. Aemond spends the next hour cleaning up and making the room as inviting as he possibly can. He’s so nervous that once you get here you’ll change your mind and leave and he’s been nonstop moving to avoid thinking for too long. His phone dings and he drops everything. 

you: i’m here 

aemond: i’m omw down rn 

He takes the stairs two at a time and smiles when he sees you walking up to his building. He grabs your backpack from you and slings it over his shoulder before pulling the door open for you. 

“How was your drive?” he looks you over as you link your arm with his. 

“It wasn’t bad. Will your roommate be joining us this weekend?” you look up at him taking in his tinted cheeks. 

“No.” he shakes his head. “He’s staying with a girl this weekend.” he stops in front of his door and turns to look at you. He pushes the door open for you and he watches you look around and nod. You look so perfect he doesn’t want to let you leave his dorm for any reason.

“You truly cleaned your room for me?” you tilt your head as he clicks the door shut. 

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to see what it was like before.” he winces and you chuckle. 

“I figured it was just so I would have better places to kneel.” he groans watching you sink to the floor. 

“You don’t have to.” his words are dripping with want as your hands slide up his thighs. Gods the second you saw him you wanted to have him and you’re not wasting anymore time.

“I planned to just smoke and fuck you all weekend.” you pout and his cock twitches. 

“I think you should transfer to this uni.” you chuckle at his words as you start to unbutton his pants. 

“But then I won’t get your desperate texts at one in the morning.” you look up at him through your lashes as you move his pants down enough to free him. 

“They weren’t desp- Fuck.” he groans as you take him into your mouth. 

You slide him out of your mouth and trail your tongue up the underside and he lets out a shaky breath. You suck him back into your mouth and look up at him watching his face twist with pleasure. He watches as you suction your cheeks around him and he knows he won’t last much longer with you looking at him like that. You moan around him and he feels his stomach coil. 

“I’m gunna,” he pants and you start bobbing your head faster. Your mouth is so hot and perfect and he curses himself for not being able to last longer. When you take him into the back of your throat he almost bursts right then. “Fuck,” he groans as your hands massage his balls and his pleasure falls over the edge unable to push it off any longer. 

You watch his face relax as you swallow everything he has to offer you. You continue to softly lick at him until his fingers dig into your hair. He helps you up and looks down at you with a heaving chest. You turn and spot his fridge and squat down and open it. 

“I was promised diet Dr. Pepper?” you huff shutting the door and turning to look up at him. 

“I thought we could go to the store together.” he clears his throat still trying to reel his head back in. You were just on your knees and now you’re pouting over a diet soda when all he wants to do is bury his head between your thighs. 

“Well then you’re driving. I drove all the way up here, Almond.” you purse your lips. 

“You want to go now?” he raises his brow at you as he adjusts his pants.

“Unless you want me to die of thirst.” you put your hand on your forehead. “I’m already feeling faint.” he looks at you with a grin. 

“Do you need to be carried to the car and everything?” you step closer looking up at him expectantly. 

“If you insist.” his arms wrap around your waist and hoist you over his shoulder. 

“Then let’s go get you some soda.” he chuckles, grabbing his keys and wallet from the table and shutting the door behind us. He starts down the stairs and his fingers dig into your thighs holding you tightly. He walks you to his car and opens the passenger side and starts to bend down to set you in the seat. 

“Ow.” you chuckle as your head hits the door frame. 

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” he jerks his head back and hits his head in the process pulling more laughter from you. “Ow. Fuck. Are you okay? I’m sorry.” you throw your head back in a fit of laughter and he sighs, putting your seatbelt on and walking over to the drivers side. He turns the car on and grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. 

“Oh baby Almond, stop pouting.” you turn your head to him and he looks at you with red cheeks. 

“I’m fucking this up.” he throws his head back onto the rest. “I should’ve gotten your soda before you got here and made you come before we even left but instead I just smashed your head into my car.” you look him over and cup his face turning him to you. You softly press your lips to his and he sighs finally relaxing some. You pull back and press your lips to his nose before settling back into your seat.

“Trust you will be spending some time between my thighs for hitting my head but I don’t mind going to the store with you.” you pat his thigh and he looks at you with a smile.

“I planned to do that first but apparently you’ll die without diet Dr. Pepper.” he chuckles and starts driving to the store. 

“I’m actively wasting away in your seat, Almond.” he groans at the nickname you refuse to get rid of. “Gods I come all the way up here for the promise of soda and dick and I only get one of them.” you slide down in the seat.

“I also promised chocolate.” he nibbles on his lip. 

“Another thing you forgot.” you sigh dramatically. “You have a lot of making up to do.” you purse your lips and look out the window at the city passing by. 

“I plan to.” he hums, pulling into the parking lot. He hops out of the car and comes to your door and you bat his hand away. 

“You will no longer be putting me in or taking me out of the car. Unless it’s your goal to give me a concussion.” you push him back as you get out of the car. 

He chuckles, shutting the door and locks it. You grab his hand and his heart almost stops. He tries not to think about how his hand engulfs yours and you lean into his side. You tug him into the store and he lets you pull him around, content to be anywhere you want to take him. He smiles as you put things into the cart and he’s surprised every time when you return to his side and hold onto his arm. 

“Anything else?” Aemond looks at the cart that contains a ridiculous amount of snacks and enough soda to keep you content for a month. 

“No.” you hum looking over the cart. “We have to stop at the gas station to get wraps.” you purse your lips in thought. 

“I have wraps already.” he smiles that he did that right at least. 

“But are they strawberry?” you put your hands on your hips and look up at him. It’s taking all of his restraint not to pull you against him and press his lips to yours. 

“Of course. Strawberry is my favorite.” he nibbles his lip and you squint your eyes at him before nodding and pushing the cart over to the check out. He carries the bags and loads them into the car before starting the drive back to his dorm. 

“We’re allowed to smoke in your dorm right? Or is the RA like an asshole?” you turn to him and get lost in the thought that his perfect face is going to be buried between your thighs when you get behind closed doors. 

“Yeah he’s chill as long as we share.” you look at him with a raised brow. “He doesn’t smoke with us like I’ll give him some bud.” he corrects and keeps his eyes ahead or he’ll pull the car over and have you in the backseat. The rest of the ride you both can feel the tension building and steal quick glances. He pulls you out of the passenger side and grabs all the bags before hauling you up the stairs causing you to giggle. 

“Someone’s excited.” you follow him into the room and he quickly shuts the door. You bite your lip watching him put all of the snacks away. He hands you a soda and you smile while taking a sip. “Which bed is yours?” he nods his head and watches as you climb on and lay back on his pillows. He groans looking in the bag to make sure what's left is okay to stay out before he’s stalking over to you on the bed. He crawls on the bed with you and you turn to face him and internally sigh at how beautiful he is. “Do you wanna smoke first?” your voice small as he inches closer. 

“No.” he shakes his head. “I wanna make you come.” he rolls over so he’s hovering above you and you pull his lips down to yours. He kisses down your neck before sitting back on his knees and grabbing at the waistband of your leggings. You lift your hips up and he pulls them off swiftly before settling between your thighs. 

Your breath catches as he places his lips across the inside of your thighs and kisses up your hips. You look down at him with flushed cheeks and he smirks at you before sliding his tongue up your slit. You bite your lip as he repeats the action and he watches you tremble above him. 

“Almond please,” your whine is the most ethereal sound to him but that fucking nickname will be the death of him. 

“What did I say to call me when I’m making you come?” he lifts up from your core and you sigh, glaring at him. 

“Aemond,” he smiles and dips his head down and flicks his tongue against your bud. He lashes quicker and you arch off of the bed. “Fuck, Aemond,” you whine as he starts to move faster, gripping your hips tightly to keep you still. He moves his tongue to your core and hums as he finds your wetness waiting for him. He presses your legs open and dips his tongue into you and you whimper above him. 

He wants to hear that sound every second of every day. He teasingly licks back up to your bud and when he swirls his tongue your fingers grab onto his hair. He smirks and moves his tongue quicker as he feels your legs start to shake. The small gasps falling out of your mouth only make him move faster. 

“Aem please,” you pull his hair closer to you. His fingers press into your hips holding you still and you fall apart on his mouth. His tongue slows and licks down to your core. He moves a hand from your hip to push two fingers into you. “Yes,” your legs start to close around his head. His tongue slides back up to your bud and a moan falls from your lips. 

He chuckles into you as he starts a slow rhythm with his fingers. He pulls his mouth back and looks at you while still pumping his fingers. “Do you forgive me yet?” he tilts his head watching you move your hips on his fingers. You shake your head as small gasps fall from your lips. He curls his fingers and your legs start to close around his hand. He pushes your legs up and holds them with his other arm. 

“Aemond,” you cry out as he starts to slam his fingers into you. He watches you squirm beneath him and when he starts to see your toes curl he dips down to lash against your bud with his tongue. “Just like that, yes” he groans at your words lapping faster and he feels you burst around his fingers. “Aem,” your body goes taught as he continues to pull pleasure from you. 

He feels you tremble and your whimpers get louder the faster he moves his tongue. Your body is humming with pleasure as his tongue and fingers coax more and more from you. You have one hand gripping the sheets and the other on his arm that’s holding your legs up. Your stomach tightens and your high slams through you as you cry out his name while he starts to slow his fingers. 

Aemond presses a soft kiss to your bud and watches you shutter. He slowly pulls his fingers out watching your pleasure seep out of you. He moves his arms and lets your legs rest back on the bed as he lays down next to you. You turn your head and look at him with your breathing still deep. 

“Gods Almond.” he rolls his eyes at the name. 

“I hate that you call me that.” he throws his head back on the pillow. 

“Yeah? Is that why you blush like a little boy everytime I say it?” you watch him lift his head and raise an eyebrow at you.

“And to think I was going to get up and get you chocolate and a blunt.” he purses his lips. 

“If you do that I’ll let you fuck me anywhere on this campus.” you watch his eyes darken and he rolls off the bed and rummages through the bag to find chocolate. “Just grab my bag and I’ll roll for us.” he grabs your bag next and stops in his tracks when he sees you naked on his bed. 

“Where did your shirt go?” he can’t stop his eyes from staring at your chest. 

“Well you threw my leggings across the room and I didn’t want just my shirt on if it’s not long enough.” his eyes finally travel up to your face and he sees you smirking. “Could I have one of your shirts, Almond?” he nods his head, swallowing and walks over to his closet. He pulls a shirt from a hanger and walks back over to you. 

“Sit up.” his eyes attach to your chest again and you chuckle watching him fist the shirt in his hand. 

“Go ahead.” you nod at him and he tosses the shirt next to you before his hands engulf your breasts. His thumbs swipe over your nipples and he watches as you nibble your lip. He dips his head down and traces his tongue around one of your nipples. “Aemond,” his name is a whisper on your tongue. He smiles to himself that you call out his proper name when he’s pleasing you now. 

“I could spend hours worshiping you.” he kisses across your chest to your other nipple. “Days even.” he takes your hardened peak between his teeth and you whine burying your fingers in his hair. “I don’t even want you to put this shirt on.” he hums against your skin. 

“Aem,” you whine and he starts to kiss up your chest and neck. He stands up and looks at your flushed face and grabs the shirt again. He slips it over your head and joins you back in bed now that you're covered. 

“I’ll roll for us today.” he hums and grabs the bag out of your hands. 

He hands you the chocolate he brought you and you lounge back and watch him. He steals quick glances at you blissed out on his bed in his shirt. He finishes rolling and hands you the blunt and a lighter before he cracks open the window. He pulls his laptop onto the bed and puts on a show as you both pass the blunt back and forth until it’s done. He pulls you against his chest and you scoot up to press your lips against his. 

“I want to nap.” you hum and he chuckles nodding his head grabbing the blankets. He watches you curl against him and he holds you tightly watching you fall asleep. He closes his eyes wondering how he got so lucky to find you. 

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You hold your hand over your mouth to stifle your giggles as Aemond pulls you down dark hallways. He tugs you into a dark lecture hall and he takes out his phone to use his flashlight. He finds the light switch and flicks on the lowest setting. You walk down the stairs to the desk at the bottom and he’s a step behind you watching your every move. You turn to him with a grin across your features. 

“So which one of us is the professor and which one of us needs extra credit.” his heart starts beating faster and he feels his cock start to harden. 

“I want you to be the professor.” your smile turns feline as you take a seat behind the desk. 

“Go take a seat, Aemond. I’ll call you down when I’m ready for you.” you hum shuffling through the papers left on the desk. He sits in the front row and his leg is shaking as he stares at you. You chuckle as you feel his eyes boring into you and you glance up. “I’m ready for you.” you wave him up and he’s in front of the desk in moments. “What can I do for you?” you lick your lips and his mouth goes dry. 

“I,” he clears his throat. “I wanted to know if there’s anything I can do to fix my grade.” you watch his cheeks flush and gesture for him to sit in the chair.

“Mm,” you look through the papers. “I don’t know. It’s almost the end of the semester and I’m already busy with grading.” you sigh, sliding your eyes to him. 

“Please,” you know the desperation in his voice isn’t an act. “I’ll do anything.” he rests his hands on the wood surface. 

“Aemond.” you groan reclining into the chair. “Why should I have to do more work because your grade is in jeopardy?” you rest your arms on the desk. 

“I could do something for you. Clean your office? Anything?” he nibbles on his lip. 

“Anything?” you tilt your head and start to push the papers aside. His heart races as he watches climb onto the desk and let your legs dangle between his. He watches your skirt slide up and he inhales deeply. Gods when you slipped that skirt on he almost took you right there. “Do you find me attractive?” you tilt your head and he nods quickly. “Use your words.” you hum tilting his chin up. 

“I do.” his voice hoarse. “Very much.” his hands rest on the outside of your calves. 

“If you can make me come with your mouth I’ll give you an A.” you slowly start to spread your legs and he groans. 

He pushes your skirt up and scoots you to the edge of the desk. He’s greeted by your bare center and pulls you flush against his mouth. You bury your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to you. He puts your legs over his shoulders and holds you against him as he feasts upon you. After he ate you out the first time he knows exactly what to do to have you whimpering above him. 

“Yes, just like that good boy.” your fingers dig into his hair as he lashes his tongue on your bud. Aemond moans into you at the name almost coming in his pants as your fingers grip him harder. He licks quicker and your legs squeeze his head as you come undone. He offers you soft licks before sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the desk. 

“Was that good?” he looks up at your flushed face.

“So good, Aemond.” you nod your head sliding off the desk and standing between his legs. “This is one of your actual lecture halls right?” he nods. “Take me to your seat so I can give you something to think about every time you’re in class.” he’s up instantly and tugging you up the stairs to his chair in the back corner. 

You push him back into his seat and notice his length straining against his sweats and you smirk. You straddle his thighs and roll your hips against his and his fingers dig into your hips. You move your core around until it’s resting against his length and you slowly grind against him. You press your lips against his as he softly whines into your mouth. 

Aemonds head is spinning from everything that has happened in the past twenty minutes. Now you’re whining above him grinding yourself against his throbbing cock and he knows he’s not going to last. He tries to still you by digging his fingers into your hips but you’re chasing your high so frantically and he doesn’t want to take that from you. His hands start to move you faster against him and your gasps and whines are about to push him over the edge. 

“Are you gonna come with me, good boy?” you pant into his neck and he groans loudly as his pleasure washes through him. You feel him twitch under you and you suck on his neck harshly as you tumble over the edge. You both hold each other as you settle your breathing. You stand up and look down at him with a smile. “Mm, did baby almond come in his pants?” you push your lower lip out and he flares his nostrils. He stands and towers over you with dark eyes. “Hm?” you taunt looking up at him. 

Aemond has had enough of your teasing but fuck he secretly loves it. He scoops you up without a word and starts to bring you back through the dark halls to his dorm where he has no plans to let you sleep anytime soon. 

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When Aemond cracks his eyes open and sees you waiting between his thighs he thinks he’ll die right here. You bat your eyelashes at him and softly trail your tongue around his tip and he throws his head back into the pillows. You lick from his base back to his tip and feel your pleasure pool from the low sounds he’s making. 

“Gods you’re perfect,” he brushes your hair back. He wishes he could keep you here in his dorm forever. His hips are softly jerking but he feels the pout on his face that you’ll be leaving in a couple hours. You look up at him and see his pout and pull off and tilt your head. 

“What's wrong?” you crawl up his body and his hands grab at your waist keeping you on top of him. 

“I don’t want you to leave.” his words are soft and you feel your heart start to beat quicker. 

“Well this time when I leave you can text me and we can FaceTime. Instead of you pouting for weeks and then ‘accidentally’ texting me at one in the morning.” he arms tighten around you and you press your lips to his. 

“I would like that.” he mumbles against your lips. 

“Grab the blunt from next to you.” he reaches with a smile and plucks the lighter along with it. He brings it to his lips and lights it as you kiss across his chest. He pinches the blunt tighter as your hands wrap around his cock and line him up with your entrance. He clenches his jaw as you slowly sink down onto him and start to rock against him. 

“Here.” he hums holding the blunt to your mouth and you hit it while starting to move your hips. His free hand holds loosely on your waist as he brings the blunt back to his mouth. He watches you rock against him and he shakes his head at how truly perfect you are. You bring your head back up and hit the blunt again from his fingers. He can’t take the feel of you squeezing around him slowly. He dabs the blunt out in the ashtray and grabs onto your waist flipping you both. 

“Did you just put out my blunt?” you pout and he chuckles. 

“I need to fuck you properly.” his lips press to yours and you sigh, wrapping your legs around him. His pace is slow at first and you let out little gasps that have him smiling into your neck. He starts to snap his hips faster and you dig into his back crying out his name. You cling against him tighter as you start to pulse around him. 

“Aem, Aemond, please,” he groans as you squeeze around him tightly. He watches your eyes screw shut as he rocks into chasing his own pleasure. Your whimpers push him over and he stills inside of you and you pull him down into a bruising kiss. 

“Now light my blunt again.” you mumble and he chuckles rolling over next to you and plucking the blunt from the ashtray again. 

For the rest of the morning you both fall in and out of sleep only waking to make out and move the blankets. Once the sun is high in the sky you two untangle and start to dress. He helps you pack up with a small pout on his face and once you’re ready to leave you both stare at each other. 

“Oh, this is for your RA.” you hand him a small baggie. “And for your roommate since we displaced him.” you hand him another baggie, nibbling your lip with a smile. 

“No, you don’t have to give them anything.” he shakes his head trying to give you the bags back. 

“You’re fucking a dealer Almond. I got you.” you pat his chest and his nostrils flare. He relents and tosses the baggies onto his bed and turns back to you. 

“I think you should transfer here.” he pulls you closer, smiling that you're in one of his hoodies. 

“No.” you press your lips against his. “Now get me some diet Dr. Pepper for the road and walk me to my car.” he chuckles, grabbing your soda and slipping his hand into yours to begin walking you downstairs. You both linger outside of your car. “Next time you come to me.” he nods and pulls you into a hug. 

“Drive safe.” he presses his lips to your forehead. He opens your door and you get in and shut the door. He motions for you to roll your window down and you do with an amused smile. 

“Yes, Almond?” you raise your eyebrows. 

“Text me when you get home.” you nod at him and he presses his lips to yours once more. 

He watches as you pull out of the parking lot and he tries not to have a frown on his face but he can’t help it. This weekend was so much better than he could have ever imagined and you promised to text him. He sends a text to his roommate that it’s all clear and grabs the baggie and drops it off to the RA. Once he’s back in his dorm he collapses in his bed and smiles as your smell is still all over it. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

masterlist 🔌 

uh im thinking about making two more parts idk depends on how attached i get - im literally already attached heavily to this and writing pt3 rn 

Part 3

ur fav flav taglist: @echos-muses @sinistersnakey

taglist ✍️

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @1-fuzzy-squirrels @arya-brooke @ashovertheriver @zanygot7straykidsbonk @moonymoo1 @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch @hardkiddonut @faenyra @hiimava11 @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @fiction-fanfic-reader @povofjustme @multilover19 @alexxavicry @cedstars @fuckalrighty @mrsmunson-harrington @misspendragonsworld @nz2004 @ninihrtss

[nipuni]

Yapping time, Hello! It's rainy and Nicolas is making lentil stew 🥰

I wanted to thank everyone for the enthusiasm over my art and all the comments you sent yesterday 😭 you are all very sweet you make me excited to share and keep making art and that is such a huge gift I'll always be grateful for. I not very proficient at social media and keeping up with everything everywhere and end up feeling like I'm not thanking you enough or talking enough so I want to make sure you know that every comment and funny tag makes my day!!

I was going to make more posts talking about DAV but halfway through writing down my frustrations I realized I was not having a good time (and most of my issues with the game have already been covered by Chelsea over twitter way more eloquently too 😆) so I'm going to focus on the parts I did enjoy! I settled on a personality for Rook and now I'll probably replay as a couple of classes to find the one I enjoy the most since I've only tried mage so far.

We also got back to our quest of watching all of David Tennant's work! now in our cozy new sitting room with a fireplace 😭 what the fuck

We finally watched 'Rivals'! We were not expecting it to be a raunchy Pride and Prejudice in the 80's lmao. It was very YA and very gratuitously sexual which is not something we normally go for. We were not really into the main couple and were more invested in Declan's success and whatever Tony and Cameron had going on lmao but it was a fun watch regardless!

Then we also watched 'You, Me and Him' and we were expecting it to be one of those 'it's so bad it's good' cringy comedies but it was genuinely so funny and sweet lmao we always seem to have opposite taste to most critic sites sjakfh The styling was so accurate and hilarious and it felt very Hallmark. We loved it!!

Now we will probably watch the second season of Arcane! we loved the first one a lot so I'm sure this one won't disappoint.

We are trying so hard to resist the urge to rewatch Doctor Who, Broadchurch, There She Goes and Jessica Jones though lmao our crush remains as strong as ever if not stronger 😭

I think I've read every single Broadchurch fic in existence at this point, and I'm painting Alec as we speak oughhgrh help

Other random updates, we managed to get train tickets for a short trip to Madrid on Christmas so we can spend it with Nicolas' family who are still visiting. And also Nicolas is learning about mushrooms since he found a bunch growing in our garden and it has become his latest passion. Now he wants to go gathering, he has already cooked a bunch, he is so excited.

Anyway I think that is all for now!! I'll have more art soon now that I'm finally settled and can get back to my normal schedule 😊 I hope you are all doing well!

[eternalxvenus]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ broken promises pt. 4 ࿐ྂ

summary: Rafe promised to take you out and spend your birthday with you, but you don’t hear from him all day and then suddenly he shows up at your door trying to explain.

wc: 1.8k

notes: i really hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! part 5 will be the final chapter for this series! (there were a few people who asked to be in the tag list but i can't find the asks in my inbox anymore im so sorry!! if you happen to see this comment/message me again to be added!)

previous chapters: part 1 | part 2 | part 3

You woke up this morning and felt so much better than you had in the last few days. Rafe not only cleared everything up, but he also practically poured his heart out for you. Now you both would head back to OBX and hopefully everything will be normal. Both of you know Topper lied and you'll probably have to talk to him about it, which is something you weren't looking forward to.

Leaning over the bed you glanced down to see Rafe's shirtless body still sleeping. You got off the bed with your blanket and snuggled up next to him on the floor. Immediately, you question how he was able to get any sleep down here. As you tried to get comfortable, Rafe stirred awake. You looked up at him with an apologetic expression. "Good morning. I wasn't trying to wake you."

He groaned softly, looking down at you before smiling at you. "Sure you didn't. Good morning, sweetheart." Rafe rolled on top of you, leaning in to give you a kiss before you stopped him.

"Morning breath," you said with a shake of your head, placing your hand over your mouth. He gives you an unamused look before moving your hand away.

"I don't care about morning breath. I gotta make up for all the time I spent not kissing you these last couple of days."

Rafe gave you one long kiss on your lips. It was so soft and caring like he wanted to express all his love for you with the feeling of his lips on yours. He slid his hands down to your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze. "God, I missed you, baby. You have no fuckin idea," he whispered.

You couldn't help the smile that grew on your face. "I missed you too." Sitting up, you moved from under his hold and leaned against the side of your bed. "But we aren't having sex in my parents' house, especially while they're here."

He placed his head in the crook of your neck before sighing, "It's okay, I can wait." 

"Alright, let me up so I can go brush my teeth and get ready," you giggle, pushing him off you lightly. He rolls onto the floor dramatically. "I'll be here waiting."

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

While you were going around getting ready, Rafe's eyes followed your every move. He knew that he probably looked creepy staring you down like this, but he was just appreciating you and how he was so lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend. Rafe was attracted to you the moment you both met at the country club. Your confidence, your style, even the way your perfume still lingered in the air even after you left.

He'd never admit it but you had him wrapped around your finger the minute you agreed to go on a date with him. You were too good for him, so accepting and supportive even when he'd try to push you away. Love wasn't enough to describe how he felt. He was fucking obsessed. Willing to do anything and everything for you. His personal heaven.

The sound of snapping brought him back to the present. "Hello? Did you hear me?" Rafe shakes his head. You roll your eyes, something he can never take seriously when you look so damn stunning. "I said I'm ready to go."

He gave a brief sign of acknowledgment so you'd know he heard you, but his eyes were focused on eyeing everything from your hair to your shoes. "C'mere, I wanna hold you for a bit," he said softly. He rarely ever heard himself like this, the soft side of him being reserved for those special moments with you. The moments when his heart felt like it was beating so fast it would come out of his chest, or his face would heat up with a light tinge of pink on his cheeks.

You made your way over to him and straddled him on the bed. "What, you miss me giving you all my attention?" you teased.

Rafe gave a small smile before kissing your forehead— He knew better than to mess up your lip combo so soon— "Yeah, something like that."

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Since Rafe had brought his truck with him to the mainland, he drove you both back to the ferry going to OBX. He didn't talk much during the drive or the ferry ride back but he kept his hands on you at all times— holding you in his lap, putting a hand on your thigh, or an arm around your shoulder— he was keeping you close.

Once you arrived on the island, you thought Rafe would take you straight home or to Tannyhill until he mentioned having to stop somewhere first. You didn't think anything of it but when you saw The Boneyard coming into view you looked over, confused. "Rafe, what are we doing here?"

"I just gotta take care of something alright? Stay here I'll be right back." He got out of the truck and started making his way toward the sea of people drinking and hanging out.

With a sigh, you got out of the car shortly after, following behind him. Immediately you saw him heading in Topper's direction, making you pick up your pace to catch up to him.

Rafe reached Topper just before you did and was staring him down with his arms crossed. "What's up, Top?" he said in a harsh voice. Topper gave a confused look at his attitude before trying to seemingly move on. 'Hey Rafe, what's good, man?"

When you reached them you put your hand on Rafe's arm in an attempt to pull him away. "Come on Rafe, please just do this later." You didn't want to make a scene with all these people here or risk him getting in trouble, but he ignored your attempts.

"Do you wanna tell me why you told my girl I cheated on her?" his voice was eerily calm as he spoke, you almost wished he were yelling instead.

Topper looked at Rafe in silence before he shrugged. "Listen, man, you were coked out of your mind and got all up on your ex. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even remember. But it's on video and everything, I was just trying to look out for her and do the right thing."

By this point, a few people who were close enough to hear the conversation had started watching, eager to see what was going on. Kelce, who had been standing next to Topper, looked just as confused yet interested as everyone else.

"Oh, so you have the video? Let me see it then." he urges.

Topper rolls his eyes but takes his phone out and plays the video. It's the same one he had sent to you that you now know is old. "See man? I'm sure you regret it or whatever but it happened. You fucked up." he has a small smirk on his face as he said it like it was the hard truth.

Rafe licked his lips and nodded. He pulled his phone out and showed Topper the photo that was actually from the party. "You took this photo at the party, right?" Topper nodded "So?" A chuckle left Rafe's throat. "So... I'm wearing two completely different outfits. Why don't you show me the date on the video Top."

Topper was silent for a few moments before his smirk dropped and an angered look took over his features. "You don't fucking deserve her, Rafe! You know she'd be better off with me. You'd choose drugs over her, you would choose yourself over her!"

Your eyebrows shot up at his outburst. Topper was jealous. Rafe got closer to him, getting into his face. "I should've known you'd go after her. You were the one who convinced me to do the coke after I told you I'd quit you fuckin' prick!" Topper shoved Rafe but he only stumbled a little before lunging at Topper and throwing a punch. Kelce and a few other Kooks who were close by rushed over to try and break it off but Rafe wasn't letting up.

"Rafe! Stop, let's just go!" you shouted, trying to get his attention. Someone had finally gotten them off of each other, and Topper was bleeding from the mouth with and his eye was starting to swell. You could see the blood on their clothes and on Rafe's knuckles. It was unlikely someone would call the cops but you wanted to get out of there before things could get worse. Before you could get far enough, you heard Topper yell "She's just another piece of ass anyway!"

Pulling Rafe away from The Boneyard and back towards the truck, you sigh, noticing the bruise forming on his cheek. Both of you got into the truck and Rafe started to drive to your place, still pissed off.

"You didn't have to do that Rafe..." you tried to keep your voice soft, not wanting him to think you were angry.

Rafe scoffed, "That fucker deserved it. He's lucky I don't kill him." You said nothing for the rest of the ride, and neither did Rafe.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

After what felt like forever, you saw your house come into view. The truck rolled to a stop, and Rafe shut off the engine, placing his head on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry," he muttered. It almost seemed like he felt... ashamed?

"I'm sorry for doing that... I let him get to me. I shouldn't have gone in the first place." he explained. You felt bad that he was beating himself up for letting his anger get the best of him.

You leaned over the center console to place a kiss on his non-bruised cheek. "It's okay. Let's just get inside and forget about it."

Rafe nodded, and you both got out of the truck to head inside. You made him take off his dirty, bloodied clothes and put them in the wash, leaving him in his boxers. With a little convincing, he allowed you to tend to his busted knuckles and ice his bruise for a while. There was a silence between you that was both comfortable and strained up until you'd gotten in bed.

You were laying on his chest tracing shapes along his skin while he stroked your back soothingly. "Hey Rafe," you spoke softly looking up at him. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't asleep. "Yes, sweetheart?"

"I thought of something you could do to make my birthday up to me, at least a little bit."

He opened his eyes looking down at you lovingly. "What is it? Name anything and I'll make it happen."

You bit your lip to try and suppress your devilish smile while climbing on top of him in a straddle position. Leaning in close, your lips ghosted his as you whispered, "How about some belated birthday sex?"

part 5

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

taglist: @readingsmuts @1aarii1 @bingbongbum @stargirlsturniololover @babygirl229 @poisonedsultana @rafescamshoe @devils-blackrose @spiderflunk @quicksilversg1rl @emmalandry @trevorspengler69 @carolb111 @fals3-g0d @monkichixo

[thelittlewarrior98]

Hello!

So I know that this is an absolute long shot, but I wanted to share this here anyway in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help me coz I literally just don't know what else to do at this point 🥺🙏

My name is Holly-Jayne but most people call me Daisy, I'm 26 years old and I've been a part of the Phandom for over a decade now like D+P have pretty much always been my most favourite YouTubers and humans in the whole entire universe 💜

I've unfortunately never been able to see them live during any of their tours though as I've just sadly never been able to afford it!

It's always been one of my biggest ever dreams to finally go to one of their shows and maybe even meet them so I can finally thank them personally for everything they've ever done for me 💜

But then late last year I suddenly got very very sick to the point where I became bed bound and wheelchair bound and could no longer eat or drink anything without throwing up and I ended up losing way too much weight to the point where I genuinely looked like a living corpse and I was soooo so tired and in so much pain all the time and I even started struggling to breathe, but then after going through all of this for about 4 months as well as countless doctor appointments, miss-diagnosis including being told it's just anxiety and is all just in my head and also have to stay in hospital got about a week or so, I was very sadly diagnosed with Stage 4 (Terminal) Serous Carcinoma Ovarian Cancer that has spread to multiple areas of my body and I have now also completely lost my fertility because of it 😔💔

I also apparently had over 2 litres worth of fluid on my lungs which is why I was struggling to breathe and could barely even walk up the stairs without my legs just completely giving way.

So I've had to endure 6 very difficult and grueling rounds of Chemo which I actually finished around 2 months ago and I'm now on a targeted treatment that I have to have every 3 weeks for about a year and I also have to take blood thinners every single day for up to 2 years due to a rather big blood clot that they also found on my lung during my 1st round of Chemo!

I also almost died again during my 2md round of Chemo as I had a very bad reaction to it and stopped breathing for a couple of minutes......

We've had quite a few scares which I guess is just my new normal now, but i now as back to normal as I can be with Cancer and I'm very slowly but surely getting my life back together and just trying to live my life as much as I can for as long as I can as even though I'm terminal, I'd like to believe that I'll still be around for many many years to come and D+P have especially helped with his as watching their videos through all of the dark and scary times have always just completely cheered me up and put a smile on my face and they still give me the motivation and determination to fight and stay as strong and healthy as I possibly can be 💜

So yeah, it's probably been the most hardest and most painful year of my life, plus my grandad very sadly and suddenly passed away last October just before all of this happened and then we also very sadly lost my aunt in May of this year after a 16 year long battle with Cancer and my nan was also unfortunately diagnosed with Leukemia around the same time as my own diagnosis, so 2024 just hasn't been kind to us at all!

Soooo so much grief, pain and trauma that we're all still trying to deal with 😔💔

So yeah, when D+P announced the TIT I was absolutely BEYOND happy and excited like yessssss another chance for me to finally go and see them and potentionally meet them if I can get an M&G ticket and finally just something for me to look forward to after this very crappy year!!

But alas, time and luck once again just weren't on our sides as when the tickets were released for both dates we just so happened to be at the hospital for appointments and treatment and they all sold out before I even had a chance to try and buy them 😭💔

So I tried to use one of my wishes to see and meet them instead, but we've unfortunately just found out that the company no longer have any money and can't fulfill people's wishes anymore!!

But the thing is, we submitted the wish absolutely months ago like back when the tickets had just sold out and we never heard back from them at all until now when our macmillan nurse got in touch with them a few days ago, so they never even bothered to tell us which is really annoying and inconvenient because we could have maybe sorted something else out by now, but now we've only got a couple of weeks left and we're just at a complete loss as to what to do as this could literally be my last ever chance!!

Really starting to lose hope over ever getting to see or meet them now and I'm absolutely devastated as we just don't know when or if they'll ever go on tour again and even if they do, who knows if I'll still be here by then or how my health will be!!

I mean I'm always staying as optimistic and hopeful as possible, but we still just never really know......

So yeah, I just wanted to share this in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help in any way at all??

Idk how or what could be done or anything, but I thought it was worth a shot anyway as I've pretty much got nothing to lose at this point!

I was hoping for Manchester on the 29th btw as that's the only date that I'm able to do.

Thankyou soooo so much for reading all of this if you've actually made it this far, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!

I'm in this Phandom business for life haha 🤣💜 @danielhowell @amazingphil @danandphilupdates @danandphilhq @danandphilnews @danandphilsaltsquad

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

Type Of Boyfriend They Are

Karasuno x Gender Neutral!Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Language. That's pretty much it.

Author's Note: I've been having a pretty heavy case of writer's block especially with a lot of things going on in my life right now. My mental health is a bit unstable, but I had this idea written down in my list of writing ideas and thought that it was so cute. I hope you all enjoy, and I'll probably make headcanons for the rest of the schools too!

Hope you all enjoy and I hope that you all are doing well <3

~Mod Shoyo <3

-Kageyama, Shoyo, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Daichi, Asahi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Noya

Kageyama Tobio:

He’s very stand-offish when the two of you first meet

“uh… can I help you?”

Once the two of you get to know each other though, you find out that he’s actually a closeted crackhead under that harsh exterior he has

After dating for a couple of months, he’s very comfortable with you and loves spending time with you

QUALITY TIME AND GIFT GIVING BOYFRIEND.

Whether you like volleyball or not, he’s asking you to help him practice, come to his games, come to his practice matches, he wants you to be there for EVERYTHING

If you manage to show your support by making him a sign or putting his number on your cheeks at one of his games??????

He definitely will deny it, but he absolutely adores it.

“You should do this more often, it was sweet.”

Shoyo teases you guys all the time and says that you’re the only one that brings out the rational side of Tobio

That will normally end with Shoyo getting hurt somehow, no matter how much you tell Kageyama to leave him alone

You still love him though <3

Hinata Shoyo:

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

The absolute biggest ball of sunshine ever

Golden. Retriever. Boyfriend. 

He’s very heavy on physical touch and quality time

No matter what you’re doing, Shoyo always wants to be there just to see what you’re doing

“Ooh whatcha up to lovey?”

He’s like a lap dog. He will lay his head in your lap just so he can stare up at you while you’re doing whatever you’re doing

Whenever you show up to his games he gets SO NERVOUS???? Like his stomach issues multiply by a hundred because you’re literally in the stands to watch HIM.

In the end, he always tries his best because he wants you to be so proud of him and enjoy watching him play!!

Everyone on the team loves you, you’re literally the only person that can make Shoyo shut up for more than five minutes because he just LOVES to admire you and appreciate how perfect you are.

“You’re so gorgeous… we should like… kiss or something.”

He’s so affectionate it’s too cute.

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

Tadashi just loves when you’re being you.

He’s always sneaking glances at you and just thinking about how soft your features are and how lucky he is to have bagged someone like you.

GIFT GIVING. GIFT GIVING. GIFT GIVING.

“Hey love, I found this super cute keychain while I was at the store with Tsuki the other day and it reminded me of you!”

“I remember you saying that this was your favorite and they only had one left, so I had to get it before someone else that wasn’t you did!”

He’s just so thoughtful. He always remembers the little things.

The very first day you kissed him? He celebrates it every year by giving you a million smooches.

You only like one very specific flavor of ice cream? He will never ever give you a different flavor and goes to multiple stores if he has to when they don’t have it

He isn’t the biggest with PDA, but he will most definitely hold your hand and kiss your cheek, forehead, or your hand.

He just gets a little shy when he’s out in public with you, but only because he doesn’t want other people looking at you and thinking that they have a chance with you.

He’s so non-confrontational, but if push comes to shove, he’ll make sure that everyone knows you’re his.

He just loves you so much and he’s so glad that you’re his. Forever. <3

Kei Tsukishima:

HE’S SO SARCASTIC IT’S ANNOYING.

Likes to play this game in public where he acts like he isn’t your boyfriend

“Excuse me, do I know you?”

HE LITERALLY HELD HANDS WITH YOU WALKING INTO THE STORE?!?!??!

You can be sarcastic too, so he’s just glad that you can take jokes and rip on his teammates or randos in the street

This dude has such a killer resting bitch face when he notices people eyeing you.

Noya tested his luck flirting with you one time and, despite Noya being his upperclassman, Tsuki almost killed him with just one look

He secretly loves how much you fuss over him.

“Babe, your glasses are so DIRTY. Here let me clean them before you run into something,”

He literally stopped the habit of cleaning his lenses because you’ll just take them and clean them for him

He loves watching you fog the lenses up with your breath and wipe them with the microfiber cloth that came in his case

Even if you only look like a big blur of colors to him and you’re all blurry <3

Tanaka Ryuunosuke:

The most respectful yet horny boyfriend at the same time

“What the hell do you mean that guy cat called you?”

He says as his hand is resting on your ass, giving it an occasional squeeze from time to time.

Very overprotective, but not in an overbearing way

Despite how loud and chaotic he may be (especially when he’s with Noya) he always picks up on your small cues and knows when you’re uncomfy or feeling a little out of place

He loves to bring you up at all times

“You know that’s crazy, because my baby loves to eat meat buns and can easily smash like seven of them in one sitting. *sigh* I’m so in love.”

Daichi literally just told him what he ate for lunch today when Tanaka asked.

PDA is his JAM.

Always has a hand somewhere on you and loves how you just nuzzle into his touch whenever he’s with you

It’s everything he’s ever wanted in life and he’s so stoked that he finally has it

His favorite place is your ass though. It’s easy access and it’s very soft and comfy in his palm

Nishinoya Yuu:

SOMEONE SEDATE HIM HE’S SO ENERGETIC

The type of boyfriend to annoy you and push your buttons all day and then just lay a million kisses all over your face at the end of the day as he tells you how much he loves you

He’s so hyped up to do anything with you

He’s definitely the type to enjoy running errands with you because he pretends that you’re married already and that these errands are just married couple tingz

He loves to embarrass you in public

Yall will be at a store while you’re just looking at clothes and trying to find some new outfits before he starts yelling as loud as he can so that people from five aisles down can hear him

“OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T STEAL THAT SHIRT BABE, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!”

You literally walk away and act like you don’t know him for the rest of the day

Nonetheless, he’s so appreciative of you and makes sure you know how much he loves you

The second that you first announced to the team that you were dating, you could’ve sworn you saw tears of joy falling from Kiyoko’s eyes

You keep him grounded and always help bring him out of the dark places his mind goes to when he messes up during games

Hearing you tell him how good of a libero he is and how amazing he is always snaps him out of things. He’d be a wreck without you

Daichi Sawamura:

The most caring boyfriend ever literally what the fuck-

He worries about your well-being all the time and isn’t afraid to show how much he cares about you no matter where you guys are

Sure, he’ll scold you for being clumsy and tripping in the gym, but also?

“Why the hell did they wax the floors before we started practicing? We’re just gonna dirty them again anyways?”

He’s such a passionate lover

“Hey, you look like you’ve got a lot on your mind. What can I do to fix that?”

SO MATURE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

He’s so good with communicating his feelings to you and wants you to know whatever’s going on with him and reassure you no matter what

Absolutely adores pressing kisses to your temples. He loves how you just stare into his eyes with the biggest smile ever and can see your pupils shift into hearts every time he does it

The two of you just make so much sense being together? Match made in heaven type of shit

His very older brother/dad morals have rubbed off on you and now you’re yelling at the boys the same way that he does. 

He always whispers to Suga or Asahi about how proud he is of you while watching you scold someone for being immature 

Asahi Azumane:

The literal definition of Cottage Core

When you hung out with him at his house for the first time, he had so many succulents and well-cared for plants

He’s so soft, he just loves you so much

He loves when you give him scalp massages after taking his bun down

Whenever you go to his house after practice, he’ll shower and have you wash his hair for him because he can’t relieve the tension he feels on his head like you do

He writes you love letters and leaves them in such random places for you to find

“Hey honey, did you leave a letter in my bento box? When I opened it, it had a little bit of curry sauce on it.”

He just blushes and giggles slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Loves to call you the cringiest/cutest pet names ever.

Honey pie, sweetums, sugar plum…

You giggle every time he says it out loud because his teammates can’t help but make fun of him whenever they hear it

They’re so cringe coming out of anyone else’s mouth. Not his though <3

Sugawara Koushi:

You will never ever catch Suga smelling bad.

Even after practice, you can’t smell that musty stench of sweat on him because it’s masked by all the deodorant he puts on.

MOST DEFINITELY smells like a bath and body works scent. It changes depending on the season and he loves smelling good according to the season

“Suga, is that… champagne toast?”

You bet your sweet ass it is.

Suga gives the most heartfelt and warm hugs in the world, it’s like hugging a warm blanket.

He’s so loving and it shows in all of his words and actions.

“Aww darling, let me wipe your nose. I told you it was going to be cold and to wear a thicker sweater when we talked on the phone this morning,”

When he says stuff like that his face is literally just >:(

His kisses are so soft. He loves to kiss your nose because of the way it scrunches up after his lips leave

“Do you not like my kisses?” Smooch. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” Mwuah. “I won’t stop until you accept my kisses.”

You just keep scrunching it because you love when he kisses you. He knows that, he just loves to make it a little fake argument between you two <3

[wordbunch]

how you pamper them when they're stressed/overworked

a/n: requested by the sweet @almost-gabrielle, i hope you enjoy it, and everyone else too - it's going to be GIGANTIC! 😍 be nice, cause I included some characters I haven't written much before (exciting!!!) and if you reblog with a comment or a nice tag... i'll love you forever! 💖 that means a lot, and i'm very grateful for all of it 🥰

ARAGORN: he actually feels like that quite often, but he’s incredibly good at hiding it. Luckily, you’re an expert in reading him like an open book, but oftentimes you need to literally physically drag him away from whatever he is doing (and he might complain as you do so). Aragorn just enjoys sometimes being quiet with you, and it’s usually what he needs when his mind is racing, or his body is overexerted. Or both. You can just lie down together and run your fingers slowly through his hair, and that will help him forget his worries at least for a little while. Secretly he is an absolute sucker for sweet, romantic confessions of love and affection, and he will melt if you whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

LEGOLAS: something has to be extremely serious for him to feel that way, because his limits are very high; but in those moments he just wants to get away from everything as soon as possible and run to you, because with you the rest of the world just fades away. He enjoys an outing in nature, far away from real life, especially if the two of you find a nice lake or river to go for a swim in, and eventually act like a couple of children splashing and chasing each other. If that doesn’t help, he likes to sit in front of you and let you braid his hair as he talks about whatever is on his mind, and it also helps him physically relax to have you sitting behind and so close to him.

BOROMIR: this man will most likely push himself to his absolute limits, because he shoulders too much responsibility and feels pressured constantly to be on top of things. However, it’s easy to notice when he becomes a bit more irritable at one point, and then you know it’s time to talk him into taking at least a little break. That can be a slippery slope, because once he gets you alone for 5 minutes, it can very easily turn into 15 hours, and he would never finish anything. But on some days it’s just necessary - you sweet talk him into a cuddle session, during which he accidentally falls asleep with his head over your heart, or you make some tea with love as the special ingredient – and tell him that! He’s going to melt and finally, gratefully accept that his partner wants to look after him.

FARAMIR: much like his brother, he will probably suffer in silence, but you can’t miss his tired sighs every now and then, and the way he shuts his eyes and rubs his temples. If you hug him from behind, he will melt into your touch and lean onto you so much that you will almost topple over, but that will also make him admit to himself that he really needs a break. Run him a nice, hot bath complete with fragrant ingredients, and candles lit around it,  and he will be forever grateful. If you don’t join immediately, he will very sweetly ask you to come with him because 'oh the bath is so big and so lonely' without one more person in it. 

ÉOMER: this hardworking man is actually quite in touch with how he feels, both physically and emotionally, and he knows when things are becoming too much and he needs to step away for his own good. It is not unusual for him to go search for you and suggest that the two of you do something away from everyday life. Many times he doesn’t even suggest anything, he just follows behind you whatever you’re doing - taking a walk and admiring some trees in bloom? He’s right there holding your hand. Sitting on a balcony and reading? He will lay his head on your lap and ask you to read to him. And he is content just being present with you.

SAM: he gets both overworked and stressed quite often, poor thing. Make him something to eat and bring it outside while he’s working in the garden, and just have a spontaneous mini-picnic in the backyard. Although he’s very hardworking and persistent, over time he’s learned to accept your help and pampering, and he really really enjoys it too. If he is under mental stress, maybe you’ll need to push him a little bit to tell you what is on his mind, but once he does, he will gladly listen to your advice or any help you can give him. 

FRODO: baby boy is in his head a lot and oftentimes he will accidentally create things to worry about, and he will just zone out. if he has a faraway look in his eyes, while doing nothing in particular, you can accurately guess what is up. He likes to feel useful, and he will gratefully accept if you ask him to help you with whatever you’re doing - it gives him an excuse to be kind and helpful, but also spend time with his favorite person. Especially if you’re organizing/re-organizing something, he will enjoy doing it with you, or cooking - he might not be the best at it, but he delights in giving you a hand, and he likes to learn and improve new skills anyway. 

MERRY: he is actually much more of an overthinker than he seems to be on the outside, so stress sometimes just generates outta nowhere! Also he isn’t the biggest fan of physical labor out there, but he is a little bit of a show-off when it comes to you, and he will go above and beyond when helping you with something or doing something for you, until he can barely stand. Afterwards he will take pride in the fact that you had to force him to stop whatever he was doing, but he was simply being so very nice to his favorite person! Something he loves to do to unwind in those moments is just come up with random stories with you, the two of you taking turns making up characters and events. He is a little bit of a baby and he will just take your hand wordlessly and put it in his hair, because it feels nice when you run your fingers through it.

PIPPIN: he will either be stressing over very small, irrelevant things, or something absolutely terrible, no in-between. If it’s something small, he has no problem rambling about it to you, and that usually helps him sort things out; but if it’s something serious, he will grow quiet. The best thing you can do for him in those moments is distract him with a silly idea like “let’s go for a walk and find as many kinds of blue flowers as we can” or just straight up make him laugh - it’s the best medicine. He wouldn’t ask you directly to do it, but he’d love it if you could just hold him or cuddle him for a bit (he’s the little spoon of course).

BILBO: oh he will get worked up over a whole bunch of random things; and when he is working on something, he goes all in (and then has a random episode of doing absolutely nothing), so you need to be the one who grounds him in reality sometimes. Just don’t startle him when approaching him quietly. He is very responsive to your touch and he will just lean into you as soon as you’re near, almost forgetting about everything else. He adores it when you hold his face in your hands and he will look at you as if hypnotized while you comfortingly reassure him that everything will be alright and that he doesn’t have to do anything alone as long as you’re around.

FÍLI: he is very big on “strong protective independent dwarf” and sometimes he doesn’t fully allow himself to rest properly, or to process some things that are bothering him on the inside. However, at one point it will all have to culminate, and then his first instinct is to shut himself off. A guaranteed way to get through to him is to kiss him senselessly wherever you can reach and it makes him subconsciously relax almost immediately. He will kiss you back passionately which helps him eliminate some of the tension he’s feeling. Additionally, he will never ever say no to receiving a nice little massage from you. 

KÍLI: oh he is quite proud of himself if he ends up overworking himself for you, as if it gives him bonus partner points. You will gently scold him for pushing himself too far, and then he will pout, but you know he still doesn’t regret it. Then he himself will drag you away for a cuddle session - he chose that as his reward for being the very best partner in all of Middle-earth - but you don’t have to exclusively cuddle. He finds it very relaxing if you sing something quietly to him and he will look up at you with shining eyes.

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[sandwitchstories]

Gratitude and Gratfication

Alexa: play some Marvin Gaye 'Sexual Healing'

I am back on my back for Kyojuro Rengoku! (and my knees, and my fours...) Oops! I mean, I am back to writing my filthy smut about my dearly beloved Kyojuro Rengoku! This one definitely got away from me and became my single longest (word count) smutty one shot to date. It's a long one, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

If you prefer to read on AO3 please click here! Summary: Kyojuro has been working extra hard lately. Working late, doing extra help sessions with students, rewriting his test umpteen times... You decide your hard working husband deserves a reward, and you know the perfect way to show your appreciation.

WC: 6300+

CW: MDNI, Fem reader, established relationship, PURE SMUT, rough sex, blow jobs, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, penis in vagina sex, some dom/sub, couple of ass smacks, light choking, creampie - for the full list of CW please check the AO3 link.

Divider by: @strangergraphics

People think of Kyojuro Rengoku as being almost innocent. Your husband is a gentleman through and through. He is gorgeous, gentle, strong, loving, funny, smart, positive, protective, passionate, selfless and he is just… everything to you. You love all of him and everything about him, even the clothes that never make it all the way into the laundry basket. Even the long hours he puts in at work, determined to be the best teacher he can be.

But nothing compares to who and how he is in your moments alone. The second you initiate or respond to his advances, it is game over. Hell, if you make it to the bedroom (if you are not already there) it is a miracle. 

Take right now for example.

You knew what you were getting into but you just couldn't help yourself. He has been wound up so tight as finals draw near. He has put in so many hours doing extra study hours for struggling students and he has rewritten that damn history test at least 8,942 times, determined every question will make sense to every student no matter how their thought process works. He deserves a reward and you are happy to give it to him.

Kyojuro looks so fucking good as he stands there taking off his watch. His tie is undone and hanging around his neck, still tucked under his collar. Sleeves are still rolled back showing his strong forearms. That white shirt, even with the top two buttons undone, sure is putting in overtime to keep buttoned over those pecs of his. He's got his belt undone but pants still clasped. 

He turns away still talking to you but all you can focus on is the way his pants hug his ass. You never knew men could have asses like that before him, just perfect peaches you want to sink your teeth into. You smiled as a thought crossed your mind– if your history teacher had looked this good you probably would have had a better grade in that class. Then again his ass was awfully distracting so maybe not so much… 

“My love, did you hear me?” He asks, setting his watch down on the armoire. 

“I sure did not!” You give him a cheesy grin as he startles you from your thoughts.

He turns and arches his eyebrow at you, “I asked if you were hungry. Since it is Friday I was suggesting let's be lazy and order take away.”

“That works! I am a little hungry but not, like, starving.” 

“Same. Another long day but we do need sustenance. I'll put in an order in a little while,” he says, turning back to getting undressed.

You changed your mind. You are hungry. Starving in fact but it's not for tempura or yakitori. Time to feast.

You crawl across the bed, in your tank top and panties, glad you had removed your bra and pants long ago. They were laying somewhere in the living room, removed and tossed aside the minute you were through the door, abandoned in celebration of the weekend finally arriving. 

You climb off the bed and saddle up behind him, molding your body to his and sliding your hands over his hips to rest on his chest and stomach, laying a kiss on his still clothed back. 

“Hmm?” He asks looking over his shoulder and down into your upturned face.

“Hi,” you grin up at him.

“Well hello there,” He greets back with a chuckle at your silliness.

“I decided I am starving, baby.”

“Is that so?” He asks, still holding your gaze. Your husband is no fool. You see the fire starting to kindle in his eyes already.

“Very much so.” Your fingers start working the buttons on his shirt, opening it and sliding your hands over his toned, tan muscles. Your hands trail lower, fingertips tracing down his happy trail to the top of his pants, pausing.

“Keep going. I didn't say to stop,” he says, his voice already taking on the tone it does when he is turned on.

Your hands undo his pants, sliding down the zipper. Fingers trail teasingly over the light v cut in his hips before sliding a finger under the waistband of his boxer further towards your goal. Fingertips raking through his neatly trimmed hair as your hand dips fully into his briefs. One hand moves to rest in the middle of his chest as your other hand cups his hardening cock, giving it a light squeeze with your palm, groaning and pressing your lips to his back through his shirt.

“Getting so hard already, baby. All for me?” You tease as his hands brace on the chest of drawers in front of him as you continue stroking his cock. 

“Of Course it is all for you, my love,” he says as his hips rock forward slowly into your hand.

Your thumb swipes across the tip of his cock, gathering the pearls forming. Kyojuro groans and bites his lip. The hand you have splayed on his chest digs your nails in slightly as you let out a small moan against his back. 

By this point you are so turned on you are tempted to rub your thighs together to relieve some of the ache. But this isn't about you. This is about giving something back to the man who gives constantly to everyone. 

“Turn around, baby,” you say, removing your hands slowly so he can do as you ask. 

You cup his face, leaning against him, trapping his hard cock between you. He kisses you without hesitation, his hands immediately on your hips, pulling you closer and grinding against you. You help him shed his shirt the rest of the way, and let him pull your tank top off, freeing your breasts to his hungry touch. His hands are immediately cupping them and running his thumbs back and forth over your nipples. You kiss him again before you pull back and kiss an open mouth trail down his body as you lower to your knees. 

You can’t help but lick your lips at the sight of his hard on. It takes every bit of restraint you currently possess to finish ridding him of his pants and boxers. You scrape your nails down his delicious thick thighs before you look up at him and run the flat of your tongue up and down the underside of his cock, enjoying the grunt he lets out.

You cup his cock and give it several strokes before you lick across the head, tonguing the very tip. You wrap your lips around his cock and start slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth and then throat, working up to being able to nuzzle your nose against the dark hair at the base of his cock, eyes flicking up to lock gazes with him. 

His pupils are blown wide. His eyes are firmly focused on your face, on your pretty little mouth wrapped around his cock so perfectly. His mouth is slightly ajar, and his cheeks are tinted just the slightest bit pink. 

One large hand moves forward from where it rested on the armoire he is now leaning against to bury in your hair, grip tight and nudging forward with his hips, encouraging you to keep going. You flex your throat around his cock, a moan slips out as his hips jerk forward.

“Is this what you want, my love?” Kyojuro asks, his fingers now fisted in your hair and guiding your head back, fully off his cock so you can answer.

“Mmmhmmm,” you say enthusiastically, smiling up at him, eyes glazed with desire. “But this isn’t about me, my love. Is this what you want?”

He answers by guiding your mouth back onto him and slowly pushing you down all the way. You try to smile up at him around his cock. You are sure it must look silly but the only thing you see in his eyes is desire. His free hand cups your face, thumb brushing along your cheek, he gives you a fond smile. 

And then the gentleman is gone. All bets are off. After all this time, Kyojuro knows your turn ons and your limits even better than you know them yourself. He knows what he has your permission for and where your hard lines are drawn. He will always respect those boundaries and that is a huge part of why it is so easy to give him complete control. 

Both of his sexy hands are now fisted in your hair, pulling you almost all the way off his cock, and then shoving you all the way back down his thick length. You slack your jaw and close your eyes, moaning in pleasure at the feel of him fucking your face. You feel the drool starting to form around your lips, but make no attempts to stop him or slow him so you can wipe it off. Afterall, Kyojuro loves a messy blow job.

“You are doing so well. Taking my cock so well for me, my love,” he says as he watches you. He notices your eyes are closed and that simply won’t do. He wants to see the look in your eyes as he uses your mouth and throat. “Eyes on me, you know the rules.”

Your eyes snap open, gazing up at him unfocused. Your hands slide back to grip his ass, pushing him even deeper into your throat, almost gagging yourself for the first time in a long time. You roll your tongue where it rests on the underside of his shaft. The surprised grunt he makes goes straight to your core. 

“You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth,” he says just before he starts using the hands fisted in your hair to move your mouth up and down his cock at a faster speed so he can fuck your face just the way he knows you like. The way that gets you damn near drunk on his cock and gods does he love seeing that look in your eyes. “My love, you are so good with that pretty, filthy, little mouth of yours. So good, sweet thing, your mouth feels so good.”

You hum happily at his praise and start sucking harder, hollowing your cheeks more. You want more of his praise. You want more of his cock. You want his cum. One of your hands moves from his thick thighs to his balls, cupping and squeezing them while you work his cock. 

“That’s it, gorgeous! That’s it! I’m going to cum,” he warns you before he fucks into your mouth until his orgasm slams into him, one of his large hands now cupping the back of your head, pressing you down as far down as you can go. 

He is moaning and his cock is twitching in your mouth as you swallow his load. His breathing is heavy when he pulls you off his cock and releases his grip on your hair. You open your mouth and stick out your tongue, showing that not a single drop went to waste. He groans, running a thumb across your swollen, spit covered lips. “You did so well.”

“That’s just the start,” you say with a grin, voice a little hoarse from the pounding your throat just took.

“Is that so?” he asks, intrigued as he helps you off the floor. 

“Mmmhmm,” you smirk, leaning into him, pressing your breasts against his hard hot flesh. His arms instantly wrap around your waist. “You’ve been working so hard lately, baby. You deserve a reward.”

“Oh, is that what this is?” he asks, hands slide down to cup your ass and pull you closer. You can feel his cock already starting to stir again as it twitches against you. The stamina of this man was the thing of legends.

“It most certainly is,” you say with a grin.

“And just what is my reward?” he asks, kissing you gently several times, nipping at your bottom lip playfully. 

“Anything you want, Kyojuro,” you lean into him, wanting more kisses. 

Kyojuro may have had a long and excruciating day at work, but he can no longer find a single complaint in his mind. How could he when he has you, in just that tiny little scrap of fabric you call panties, in his arms, pressed against him and nipping at his lips? Finals, difficult coworkers, the speeding ticket he got on the way home that he was not looking forward to telling you about - none of it matters right now. The only thing he gives a damn about right now is you, and the dirty, dirty things he spends his free time thinking about doing to you. 

“Well, sweet thing you are quite the reward,” he grins, fingers hooking on the straps of your panties arching over your hips. He snaps them playfully, a devious little smirk on his face. “These. Off.”

Never breaking eye contact, you shimmy them off. Dinner is no longer what he wants to eat. Kagiake is no longer the taste he is imagining on his tongue. The answer to both is now you. It is now just a question of how he wants to have you. 

Does he want you to bend over the bed, arching your back and spreading your legs in the sluttiest of ways? Does he want you to ride his face while he looks up at you and his tongue explores your warm, wet depths? Decisions, decisions. In the meantime…

“Sit down on the bed and spread those legs for me, gorgeous,” he says, licking his lips as his glossy eyes unabashedly devour every inch of your flesh. 

You do as he asks, sitting down on the end of the bed and scooting back enough you can plant your feet on the bed, bending your knees and opening your legs wide for his hungry gaze. The lamp light glistens off your folds that are already shiny with your desire. Knowing you want him as badly as he wants you sends a rush to his head.

You are divine in his eyes. Your cunt is the altar at which he worships. Your pleasure is the wine he drinks. Your name is the prayer on his lips. 

And he cannot wait to absolutely ruin you. You babbling as you cum all over his cock and he fills you up to the brim sounds like a damn good reward. But first…

“Show me,” he says, moving to kneel at the end of the bed, putting him face to face with your pretty little pussy.

The tip of his tongue wets his suddenly dry lips as he watches you move one hand to slide it between your legs, using two fingers to spread your lips apart, revealing your dripping hole and slick folds fully. He gestures with his head for you to keep going. You know what to do. You know what he wants.

He stares intently, sunset gaze fixed on the sight as you slide two fingers into your slick cunt. He watches you thrust them in and out of your center several times before you remove them, holding out your hand to show him your coated fingers. He leans forward and sucks them, his tongue sliding over the digits and between them, making sure not a drop is waste. 

His large hands slide under your thighs to grab you hips and yank you down to the end of the bed, your feet now resting on his shoulders. His arms wrap around your legs so that his warm hands can hold your thighs wide open for him. He leans forward and uses the flat of his tongue to lick a line up your cunt, from hole to clit, moaning against you. 

He presses a kiss to your cunt while those gold and vermillion eyes stay locked on yours. He gives you a little smirk. Before his sinful tongue slides back between your folds he says a single word. Reverently. “Ambrosia.”

Kyojoruo is feasting and he is not leaving a single damn crumb. That is for damn sure. Your toes feel almost stiff from how tightly you have them curled. Your eyes are fluttering, struggling not to close and roll back in your head. He’s just so damn good with his mouth. 

His hand moves to join his mouth, fingers sink into your tight hole, making you cry out in pleasure. Your fingers pull the tie from his hair, letting his blaze colored locks fall freely, allowing you to fully bury your hands in his hair. You whimper and move your hips against him, lost in the pleasure he has coursing through your every vein, filling every cell of your being. 

“Feels so good, baby,” you pant, biting your lip. The sight of him savoring your cunt is almost too much to take. He has told you before that you are his favorite meal. His head is between your thighs and he is gluttonously lapping and sucking at your pussy, proving his words to be true. 

“Close, baby, so close!” you whine, fingers tightening their hold in his hair. 

“You can do it, sweet thing. You know what I want,” he coos up at you, kissing your thigh and watching the way your head lolls back in pleasure when he adds a third finger to your molten core. 

You whimper, muscles tightening and burning as your orgasm nears, tears prickling at your eyes. And then his fingers find that special spot, your loud cry telling him he hit his mark. He abuses it, thrusting his fingers in and out of you as he sucks and flicks at your clit. You throw your head back and cry out his name as your orgasm overtakes all of your sense.

Your pussy is clenching, fluttering, throbbing as your cream coats his fingers. Your tingles are spreading through your veins and your head is cleared of thoughts as fireworks explode behind your eyes. Your legs are trembling and your gasping for air between your cries of pleasure. 

“That’s it, my love. You’re doing good, sweet thing. Always giving me what I want. So good to me,” he says laying kisses on your inner thigh as he watches in wonder as you come down, fingers now moving slowly, working you through your orgasm, rubbing that tender spot inside to prolong it as long as he can. 

His thumb brushes against your clit, making your hand shoot down to grab his, an almost pleading look in your eyes. You are so oversensitized you fear you may die if he keeps going. He smirks, moving those wicked fingers to your lips, and groaning as you suck them clean, giving him a show as your tongue circles each finger, cleaning each finger, one at a time. 

He gets to his feet, leaning over you to kiss you and press you back onto the bed. He plants his hands by your head, kissing you passionately. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and it only turns you on more. Your legs wrap around his hips, trying to pull him closer. He adjusts so his cock can slide between your slick and sensitive folds, coating him with your juices. 

“Are you ready for me, my love?” he asks, grinding against you and eliciting a lewd sound to fall from your lips.

“Please, baby, please.” You are shameless as you damn near beg for his big fat cock. 

“Please what, my love?” he asks, a dark but teasing look in his eyes as he shifts his hips, the crown of his cock catching on your eager hole. He slips in just the very tip, rocking a little.

“Fuck me. I need to feel you inside me, baby,” you bite your lips and move your hands to cup his handsome face. “Need you to take the rest of your reward.”

He kisses you, messy and hard. He pulls back just the slightest bit with a little smirk and then he snaps his hips forward, impaling you with the full length of his cock all at once until his balls are resting against your ass. You cry out in ecstasy, your legs locking tighter around him and your fingers now digging crescents into the skin of his shoulders.

He does it again and again, pausing between the punishing thrusts, though not enough for you to wind down. It doesn’t take long for him to tire of that. His hands find yours and pin them above your head, locking fingers together as he begins to move faster, leaning over you and fucking into your wet hole at a steady rhythm though not nearly as hard as before. 

“Like that, my love?” he asks, kissing you and resting your foreheads together. 

“Like it,” you nod, tilting your head to kiss him again. This does feel good, but you want something more and you know he does too. “Your cock feels so good inside of me… but please fuck me harder, Kyo. Stop holding back.”

“Stop holding back?” he says, arching his prominent eyebrows. 

You grin up at him, leaning up to nip his bottom lip, catching it between your teeth and giving it a little tug. You know exactly how to get him to let go and give into his baser urges. “Yes. Stop holding back. This is your reward, remember? So fuck me like you know we both want you to. Like we both need you to.” To give him the final push you add with a little lip bite up at him, “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“You’ll be good, huh?” His voice has taken on a slightly deeper tone that slides over your skin like silk.

You see his dominant side come out fully in his eyes and features. You could swear your cunt gets wetter at just the sight. At just the thoughts of what he’s like in this space. He captures your lips in a passionate kiss before he pulls out of you, making you almost whine at the empty feeling you are left with. 

“Fours. Now.”

You roll over and move to the middle of the bed, doing as he said and getting on your fours. You arch your back and spread your legs, giving him a good view of your juicy cunt. Your heart pounds as he moves to kneel behind you. 

He leans over and grabs his pillows, putting them underneath you for support. He is obviously not counting on your arm strength holding up for long. Your cunt clenches around nothing in anticipation of the fucking you are about to get.

Kyojuro’s large hands slide up your legs from your knees to your hips before gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them apart. His thumbs trace the edges of your pussy lips before spreading them apart, making you bite your lip at the feeling of being so open, so exposed. You clench as he spits on your pussy and starts rubbing the swollen tip up and down your folds before sliding into you, inch by inch. 

He leans over you, hands currently groping and squeezing your breasts, pulling on your sensitive nipples. He kisses your shoulder gently. “Are you ready to get what you asked for, sweet thing?”

You nod, enthusiastically, clenching around him and letting out a small whimper, his fat cock just fills you so fucking perfectly.

“Words.” He says in a firm tone.

“Yes, please,” you answer, giving nudge back with your hips in an attempt to get him moving.

“Good girl,” he kisses your shoulder one more time before he straightens up behind you.

Kyojuro has been given the green flag and the accelerator is flat to the floor. His hips go from zero to 60 in an instant and his fingers are digging into your hips as he starts fucking into your pretty little hole. He wastes no time, his pace hard and fast from the start. 

He groans as he watches your greedy cunt sucking him in again and again. He loves to watch himself fuck you. Your pretty lips are spread around his thick length, your creamy essence coating him and gathering already in a ring around the base of his cock.

“So wet and we only just started, sweet thing. You say this is my reward, but that was just an excuse to get me to fuck this sweet little cunt wasn’t it?” He grins as he feels you clench on his cock at his filthy words. His vocabulary is too refined for swearing often, but when it comes to bedroom dirty talk, his mouth is unashamedly, absolutely vulgar. He loves the way the words so blatantly turn you on.

“No… I wanted… wanted… to do something for you…” Your fingers are knotted in the sheets for purchase as he slams his fat cock into your tight hole again and again. 

“I’m sure that was part of it. But I think you just can’t keep your hands to yourself. Naughty, naughty, girl,” he says playfully before giving your ass a firm swat, admiring the way the fat of your ass jiggles and recoils, smirking at the surprised gasp that leaves your lips. 

He’s not the biggest fan of spanking you. But sometimes he just cannot resist giving you a swat on that perfect ass of yours. He is only a man after all. He is weak to the endless temptations dangled in front of him when you are on your knees like this, taking his cock so well. 

“It was… supposed to be a reward…. But no, I can’t… I can’t… keep my hands to myself,” you agree with a breathy laugh struggling with words as he keeps pistoning his cock in and out of you. You give him a playful look over your shoulder. You look cock drunk already. It is always such a stunning look on you. And then your playfulness turns back to pure desire. You horny little devil you, you bite your lip and almost purr at him, “How could I… when I am married to a… gorgeous man… who.. ahh… fucks my pussy this good?”

He lets out a growl and leans over you. He fists a hand in your hair, pulling your head up and back, resting against his collar bone, His other hand closes over your throat, squeezing gently on the sides, feeling your cunt clenching down on your cock as he does. He continues to move his hips hard and fast.

“Be a good girl and let me hear you. Let me hear those slutty sounds you make when I’m fucking you so good,” he says mouthing your ear and nipping the lobe. 

He needs to hear you singing that sweet siren song. He needs to hear the desperate, broken, sounds you make as his cock splits you open over and over again. He needs to hear you babbling. He needs to fuck you to the point where his thighs and balls are covered in your pleasure and his name is the only damn word on your lips. He shifts his angle just slightly and grins at the absolutely vulgar moan you let escape. 

“Oh, fuck! Kyo! There! So deep! Shit!”

Found it. The hand on your throat moves down your body to bury between your folds, finding the hard pearl he seeks easily. His fingers start with circles and rubs, teasing back your hood and making the hard nub swell. And then his fingers are moving in a rough fanning motion over the bead, pressing down, stimulating you and smearing your slick on your lips. 

You start to pant and your body is stiffening, your cunt getting tighter and tighter around him. He can tell you’re getting close. The hand in your hair moves to your opposite shoulder, his thick, muscular forearm now against your throat pressing back carefully. He just wants you to get a head rush, not pass out. He still has more plans for you tonight. 

You have let the feral beast out of its enclosure, and he will not be sated easily. You told him to fuck you like he needed. You asked for this. You begged for this. Now you needed to be a good girl like you promised, and take it. 

“Cum for me, sweet thing, milk my cock with that tight little cunt,” he says, mouthing your shoulder before sinking his teeth in.

“Oh gods, Kyo! I’m cumming, fuck, baby! I’m cumming… I’m cumming so hard!” You wail beautifully as you cum while he fucks into you as hard as he can. The hand between your legs continues assaulting your clit. You feel so good when you cum. He wants to keep you spasming, fluttering, creaming on his cock for as long as he can.  

You let out a higher pitched whine and lift one of your hands to rest on the wrist of the hand between your legs. He knows what it means. You’re too oversensitized.

He slows his thrusts, the arm around your throat is now rubbing lovingly up and down your back, the hand formerly between your legs now gripping your hip, his thumb rubbing circles. He works you through your orgasm now at a much slower pace, letting your twitching form come down from the high. 

“Good girl, good fucking girl,” he says against your ear, his heavy breaths fanning against your sweat slicked skin. He kisses your shoulder gently several times before checking in. “Are you doing alright, my love?”

You start to nod, but you know better so you answer in a hoarse voice, “I’m good. I’m good. I promise. Just… just needed a moment.”

He stills his hips. “Give me a color.”

“Green.”

You answered in words. That’s the rules. He leans over you, hands now both on your breasts. He grins at the little mewls you are making as his fingers tug at your nipples. His hips are grinding his cock inside you, balls resting against your folds. 

“Time to ride my cock, sweet thing. I want to watch you fuck yourself on me.”

You rearrange positions, surprised your limbs have any strength left in them after the mind blowing, almost black out good, orgasm you just had. Kyojuro helps you line his cock up with your dripping hole. You lower down onto it with your hands braced on his chest. 

You moan together as you sink down, taking him inch by inch until his cock is fully sheathed inside you. “So deep, baby. Feel so good inside me.”

“It feels so good to be inside you,” he praises. His hands roam up and down your body in utter reverence before cupping your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples.

You start to move, starting with a slow grind, shivering as the thatch of hair at his base stimulates your clit. You begin to move faster, rocking and grinding. His fingers are digging into your hips and his glossy gaze is fixed on you. 

You move your hands down to his stomach and back until they brace on his thighs, making you lean back and giving him a better view of the way his cock is being taken again and again by your pussy. You start to lift your hips, moving up and down, getting more confident in your movements as you go. 

“Hands on my chest.” You do as he asks, hips slowing to a grind as you wait for his next command. He grips your chin firmly in one hand, the other moves to clap down on your ass cheek, smirking as you involuntarily clench on his cock. “Ride my cock. Be a good girl and show me how much you love it.”

You begin to raise and drop your hips. Your jaw is hanging slightly ajar, your gaze is unfocused. His cock is just so damn addictive. It feels so good inside you. He stretches you and fills you so well. You can feel every inch of his meaty cock on every thrust. You move up and down on his cock, taking him as deep and fast as you can. 

“That’s it, keep going, sweet thing. Keep showing me how much you love this cock,” he sucks on his bottom lip and his fingers are digging into your hips.

You moan as you ride his cock, listening to the grunts and growls coming out of your beloved’s mouth as your hot core moves up and down, up and down. Sweat is glistening on both of you. A single bead rolls down between your breasts and Kyojuro leans forward to lick it up. 

“I’ll take over from here, sweet thing,” he says as he pulls your head down to kiss you passionately. 

You nod, limbs exhausted and weak but nowhere near done being ruined by the man you love. Your hands rest on his collarbone as he moves his legs so they are spread and his feet are planted on the bed, spreading you wide open and taking control of the situation. 

His hands are now on your ass, squeezing and keeping you wide open. He starts thrusting up into you. You moan and throw your head back, the angle he is at feels incredible. The bulbous head of his cock is dragging over that special spot in your gummy walls on every thrust. Its fucking perfect.

“So good, Kyo! So good!” you moan, leaning forward to kiss him, rocking your hips to meet his as best you can as he fucks up into you. 

His lips move from yours to kiss across your chin and mouth at your neck. He groans against your skin, sucking a dark mark into your skin, marking his territory. Your hands bury in his hair, holding him close.

“Be a good girl and just keep taking this cock, just a little longer,” he says against the skin of your neck. “Doin’ so good… Bein’ so good…”

“Don’t stop, Kyo. Don’t stop until you cum!”

“Yeah?” he asks, his hips starting to pick up speed.

“Need you to cum! Need to feel you cum inside me! Please! Feels so good! So big, stretch me so good! Don’t stop!”

There it is!! There is the mindless babbling he was looking for. His arms move to wrap around you, his large hands rest on your back as he holds you close and his hips start slamming into you at a brutal pace. You are moaning over and over again in his arms, babbling as tears of pleasure are leaking from your eyes. 

You grab his face and kiss him, lost in the moment, lost in him. All that exists in Kyojuro and this moment right here. This is what you wanted. This is what you needed. And it’s obviously what he did as well. 

He presses his head back into the bed, watching your face as his orgasm reaches its breaking point. His hands are suddenly on your hips again, fingers digging in for control and bringing you down to meet his every thrust. There is no rhythm to his fucking. He is stunning beneath you,  completely gone to the moment, completely lost in the pursuit of emptying his balls into you. 

It’s rough. It’s feral. And it feels so fucking good.

“Oh fuck, sweet thing! I’m cumming, my love! Here it comes! Be a good girl and take it, take… every…fucking…drop!”

You moan as he slams your cunt down on him for the last time. His hands hold you hostage as he grinds against you and fills you to the brim with his thick hot seed. He lowers his head to the bed and his arms return to being wrapped around you. His strong hands roaming up and down your back as you both come back down to reality. 

You rest with your head on his shoulder, like him working to catch your breath. You glances at his face, the relaxed smile he gives you makes you let out a happy little laugh. “So?”

“So what?” he asks, head laying back on the bed. He looks so fucking hot with his hair a mess and a fucked out expression on his face you are sure matches your own.

“Was I good?” you tease.

He grins and pulls your head closer to his, and kisses your lips gently several times. “You were perfect, as always.”

“Was that a good reward?” you ask, fingers drawing circles on his chest.

He nods and kisses your forehead, “Very much so. Thank you.”

“Anytime. Like seriously, my love, anytime,” you say, smiling at his answering grin. “But we still have one problem to address.”

“We do?” he asks, confused.

“Yeah… we still need dinner,” you answer with a little smirk.

“Ah, yes that. I have an idea!”

“Say more!” you cock your head to the side.

One of his hands on your back holds you where you are and the other reaches out to grab his phone off the end table. He grins up at you and you feel his cock twitch within your cunt.

“Again?” you ask, eyes wide.

“Again,” he grins. “You stay right where you are, I’ll place an order at the Chinese place you love.”

You hum in approval, sitting up on his lap, listening to him begin to speak. But you are a devious little thing and you start just slightly rocking your hips against him. You may be tired, your muscles may be burning, but that doesn't matter. 

You grin like a cat that has caught the canary. The look he gives you as you move on his hardening cock while he is trying to place the order promises payback. In the time it takes for him to place the order between clenched teeth, you have his cock fully hard and throbbing inside of you again. 

Kyojuro ends the call telling them to take their time and tosses his phone onto the night stand. Strong hands grip onto you and quickly roll you over onto your back. He grabs your wrists and pins you down into the mattress. His hips begin to move with purpose and he smirks. “Again.”

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [epilogue] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings: +18, angst, smut, swearing, crying, unprotected sex (don't do that), unplanned pregnancy

A/N: this is the last chapter of this story. i wanted to thank you all for this journey. i didn't think i'd be able to finish it… but it was nice to write for these couple of wonderful people who always left some mark. you're amazing! i apologize for all the mistakes and shortcomings. I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa 🖤 

[PART 5]

"Now you slowly release the clutch and press the accelerator. Slowly... Slowly..." the whole car shook several times "Ellie, calm down... It's nothing. You just have to..."

The car shook again and the engine stalled. A wailing groan escaped the girl's throat as she let go of the steering wheel.

"I'll never learn this." she sighed.

"Don't say that. You're doing really well."

"Really well?!" she repeated after you, and you wanted to laugh seeing her face "This fucking car has probably turned off a thousand times!"

"So what. Maybe if it turns off a few more times, you'll finally learn?" you lightly nudged her in the shoulder "Ellie, it's not the end of the world. Let's try again."

You had been sitting in this car for almost two hours. Ellie was getting angry the whole time, but she didn't give up. Finally, after a few more failures, the car slowly moved forward.

"Yes! Fuck, I did it! I did it!" she shouted in delight "See that? See that?"

"I see! You're doing great." you laughed "Now try to slow down and stop. Slowly... Ellie, don't kill Joel. Please!"

The car stopped suddenly and the girl turned off the engine. Happiness was written all over her face.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?" she asked excitedly.

"No problem." you replied and turned around as the door on your side opened "Oh! Hi, Joel. Are you back already?"

"Yeah, just a second ago." he glanced at you carefully and then his gaze moved to Ellie "You were supposed to watch her." he said seriously, although you could see the smile hiding in his eyes "Admit it, it was Y/N who talked you into taking her out of town."

"At this speed we'd make it to the gate in a week." the girl replied "And I keep an eye on her all the time! She's right next to me."

"I only left you for two days..." Joel sighed, but now he smiled "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Really!" you laughed seeing his look "I can't stay home all the time."

"But  you should. Come on, we need to change your bandage."

He offered you his hand to help you out of the car and slowly led you home.

Doc didn't want you to leave the clinic too soon, but you insisted. It wasn't until Joel suggested that you could live with him and Ellie for a while that they could keep an eye on you. You knew that Ellie felt guilty about what had happened, and Joel would feel calmer if you were close. So you agreed.

You moved into a small bedroom upstairs and within two weeks you really got into the place. Joel and Ellie didn't let you do anything for the first few days, and at least one of them was always home with you.

With some difficulty you convinced Joel that he didn't have to carry you up the stairs, you'd just walk really slowly. Then Ellie said that his old spine wouldn't last that long anyway, and you tried not to burst out laughing.

What was between you and Joel had calmed down too. You both felt like you were living in your own little bubble and you were fine with that. You saw him smile more often, and it melted your heart every time.

How could you know that his heart grew when he could go back home, where he knew you were. That was enough for him.

"You should take better care of yourself." he stated as you laid down on the bed and pulled up your shirt. "You still have stitches."

"I feel really good, Joel. You have no reason to worry." you replied, watching as he disappeared into the bathroom to wash his hands, and then returned to you with a small box prepared by Doc. "How was your patrol?"

"Quite normal. A bit boring." He replied, pulling up a stool and sitting next to the bed. "Did Ellie finally manage to start the engine?"

"Yeah, but she shook my soul out of me." You laughed. "She really wants to impress you, you know."

"She doesn't have to do that. But I'm glad you two get along so well."

His warm fingers slowly removed the dressing from your body and you both glanced at the healing spot. The skin was still slightly red, but the wound was fresh, so it didn't worry you.

"You were bleeding a little." Joel noticed, showing you a few spots of blood on the dressing.

"The stitches are pulling. I can't wait for Doc to take them out."

"Maybe you should have them a little longer?" he suggested, washing your wound and gently drying it with a clean towel.

"I suppose you think I should stay in bed until Ellie is of age." you stated and he smiled as he put a fresh bandage on you "I don't know what else I should do to make you believe that I'm out of danger.”

"Just be reasonable."

"Reasonable is my middle name."

Maybe you shouldn't have, but you really enjoyed your moments together. When he first touched you to change your dressing, it was almost intimate. It wasn't until a while later that you were both able to act more freely, and Joel made sure he wasn't hurting you.

For him, it was a nice feeling to have you under his roof. He missed what you used to have, but if what was now was all he could get - he had no intention of giving it up. Even though you were sleeping in the other room, you were alive, you were close to him, he could hear you.

You ate meals together, spent evenings together. You didn't flinch at his accidental touch, and it even happened a few times that when you entered the kitchen you stroked his back, Joel closed his eyes then because of this tender gesture.

He missed you even though you were right next to him. He missed being close to you, missed the warmth of your body. But he only had these few moments that were going to be taken away from him anyway.

It was getting quite cold and the sun was setting really early when you returned home smiling, although a little bit frozen. Ellie was curled up on the couch reading a comic book while Joel was adding wood to the fire when you stood in front of them and lifted your shirt to show your freshly healed scar.

"Doc took the stitches out!" you announced excitedly. "I should still be careful, but he says everything is okay now."

"Cool!" Ellie's face lit up. "How many scars do you have?"

"She should have as few as possible." Joel mumbled, glancing at the healed area from the surgery.

"I have two other pieces of news." you announced, sitting down in the armchair and smiling at them like you just won the lottery. "Since everything is okay, I'll go back to my place tomorrow. You can rest from me."

"No!" Ellie groaned. "And the second one?"

"I met Tommy. He said that since Doc doesn't see any contraindications, I'll be able to go back to my old activities soon."

Joel stood up. You noticed right away that he wasn't in the best of moods.

"I don't think you should come back so soon." he mumbled. "You shouldn't take risks."

"Joel, Doc says she's fine!" Ellie pointed out.

"Maybe, but she almost bled out on my hands. I don't want to risk that again."

Silence fell. The atmosphere became tense in an instant. All the joy you brought with you escaped like air from a burst balloon.

Joel avoided your gaze, but took a defensive stance.

"Ellie, can you go to Doc?" you finally said. "He said he could use your help. They brought him some supplies yesterday."

"Yeah, sure." The girl nodded, standing up and quickly putting on her jacket. "Just don't kill each other here." she mumbled and left, slamming the door.

You rested your elbows on your knees and intertwined your fingers, sighing quietly.

"Joel, you knew perfectly well that I wouldn't stay here forever." You began calmly, trying to choose your words carefully. "All of this was for a moment. Until I feel better. That was what you said."

"I just don't think you should go back to your duties yet. It's not safe for you." He replied, resting his hands on his hips and looking down at you.

"You can't watch over me all the time, Joel!" You groaned, getting up from your chair. "You have some kind of…obsession..."

"Obsession?!" He interrupted you mockingly.

"Yes! You can't control everything. You can't protect everyone. You know perfectly well that I can handle it."

"You almost died last time!" He growled.

"I'll die someday anyway, Joel. You can't save everyone..." You approached him and wanted to put your hand on his shoulder, but he stepped back. "I'm sorry."

You passed him and headed towards the stairs. You wanted to pack your things so you could leave their house the next day. You only regretted that the atmosphere had gone sour so quickly.

You were already halfway up the stairs when Joel's loud voice reached your ears.

"I love you." He said, his voice trembling. You saw that his eyes were shining in the warm glow of the fireplace, he was truly moved. "I've loved you for years. I should have told you in Boston, but I was afraid. I was too selfish, Y/N. I thought I wanted you to be safe, but what I really wanted was to have you all to myself. I wanted to hide you from the whole world like some fucking treasure. When I lost you, everything lost its meaning. I was alone again. It fucking scared me."

You swallowed hard, feeling your throat tighten painfully. Joel took a few steps towards the stairs.

"After all this time, I met you again. I don't know what I should do to atone for what I did to you, babe." he continued, and tears welled up in your eyes. "I almost lost you twice. I can't take it anymore... I love you. I love you so much it hurts. If you want to leave, I won't stop you. I can only promise you that as long as I live, I will fight to keep you safe." 

You didn't have time to answer. You opened your mouth, but Joel stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Tears ran down your cheeks.

He felt empty inside. Everything that had filled him for the past few weeks had simply fled. It was as if someone had woken him from a deep sleep by pouring a bucket of cold water over his head.

He was afraid again. He felt that his hands were shaking slightly, so he pressed them harder into his jacket pockets. He already regretted telling you what he felt, but at the same time he was grateful that he had finally managed to get it all out.

He had never told you that he often woke up at night, because he dreamed about that night when you were injured, it still kept appearing before his eyes. He could still see your blood on his hands, he could still hear your weak voice.

Over all these years, Joel had forgotten what it was like to love. Love only reminded him of the pain of loss, and he didn't want to experience that again.

And then you appeared and became his everything. He had someone close to him again. And Joel was hungry for another person, closeness, intimacy, even love. When you slept next to him, he would often stare at you for hours. He knew your moves, knew your routines. Maybe you didn't even know it, but you had created a semblance of home with him then. He never dared to tell you that.

The last few weeks have been really good. And now he was going to lose it all again? How much more loss did he have to experience in this miserable life...

You couldn't sleep. You lay in bed and listened to the sounds in the house. Ellie appeared only for a moment, saying something about spending the night at a friend's house, and then she left again. You suspected that she sensed the nervous atmosphere and didn't want to stand between you and Joel.

He hadn't appeared until now. The house was quiet, and the clock quietly ticked off the minutes. It wasn't until around midnight that you heard familiar footsteps on the stairs and the door closing on the other side of the hallway. You lay there for a while longer.

Joel left you completely shattered, with a jumble of thoughts in your head and tears streaming down your cheeks. You cried for a while longer before you finally changed into your pajamas and laid down in bed.

But you couldn't take it any longer. You quietly left the room and walked barefoot through the cool hallway. Although you put your ear to Joel's bedroom door, you didn't hear anything. So you pressed the handle and slipped inside.

The room was dark, but you easily made your way to his bed.

"Y/N? What are you doing?" his slightly sleepy voice rang out as you got under his covers.

You didn't answer. You moved closer to him. Joel didn't even move. He felt your warm fingers touch his stubbled cheek, the warmth of your body right next to him.

And then you kissed him. For the first time in so long, he felt the taste of your lips again. They were salty from tears, but soft, delicate, just as he remembered. You kissed him slowly and didn't protest when his arms gathered you so that you were lying on his chest.

He wanted more. He slid his tongue into your mouth and deepened the kiss. He caressed you, eliciting the most beautiful sighs he'd heard from you.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby..." he whispered as you stood up and with a swift movement took your sweatshirt over your head.

"I know, Joel..." you replied seeing his eyes shining in the dark "I'm always safe with you."

He stood up and sliding his fingers into your hair pulled you in for another kiss. It was strong and full of longing that had filled his heart for so long. You clung to him feeling how much you missed him too.

Joel's lips slid down your neck kissing then your collarbone and shoulders. Familiar fingers slid down your back and then you felt them find the scar on your side. He sighed quietly feeling the length of your wound under his fingertips.

"I'm fine." you assured him kissing his temple.

His hand slid lower. In the dim light from outside he could see a new scar, a trace from when you almost died.

"I love you so much, Y/N..." he whispered "And it scares me..."

"I know, I know..." you took his face in your hands and found his gaze "I'm scared too, but I love you and it gives me strength." his eyes gazed at you tenderly "Yes, I love you. I've loved you for a long time, even though I wanted to forget about it. But I don't want to go back to how it was when all we have is this moment. Make love to me, Joel. I want to feel you again..."

In an instant, he flipped you over onto your back, trapping you between his arms. Your lips collided again. You managed to take his shirt off and soon your hands could touch the body they knew so well.

He was yours. In that moment, you felt it completely. When he kissed your breasts, and his lips hungrily closed on your nipples, you felt the excitement growing between your legs. It was so familiar, and yet so new.

You were different people now, so this was different too.

You lifted your hips slightly as he took off your panties, kissing your thigh tenderly. His hands caressed your body, touching every spot that drew sweet sighs and moans from you.

When you noticed that his gaze had once again wandered to your scars, you helped him find his way back.

"I'm here, baby. I'm with you." You said quietly, touching his face and directing his face towards you.

His fingers slid over your juice-covered folds. Your body recognized him, his touch, his closeness. It was eager to feel him inside too.

"Tell me you want me..." he whispered as he slid down his pants and his hard manhood popped out of them.

"I want you, Joel. I always have and I always will."

"I need to be inside you, baby. Then I'll let you come on my fingers, on my lips, but first..."

"That's fine, baby. I'm in no hurry."

A faint smile appeared on his face. He grabbed his cock and ran the tip over your entrance a few times. When he pushed in slowly, you closed your eyes, moaning softly with pleasure at how well he stretched your walls. He pushed all the way in and Joel lay on top of you, hiding his face in that sweet spot by your collarbone.

"Fuck, amazing..." he groaned "I've missed this feeling. You squeeze me so good, baby."

"Move, please... I need you..."

When he moved for the first time, you already knew you were over the edge. His cock moved inside you slowly. Joel knew your body perfectly, he knew just how to hit you to make you let out all those moans he loved so much.

And he used that knowledge, you were falling apart under him into a thousand pieces. Your nails dug into his shoulders, but he didn't even feel the pain. All that mattered was you and that moment.

"I can't hold out much longer, baby..." he panted, thrusting into you harder and faster. "I haven't had you for so long..."

"I'm close... so close..."

He rose, threw your legs over his shoulders, and began to pound into you harder and harder. In an instant, your whole body trembled as you reached your peak. Joel groaned as he felt your walls tighten around his cock. He thrust a few more times, then pulled out, spilling himself onto your lower abdomen with a loud moan.

"Oh, fuck! Sweet Jesus..."

You were both panting heavily, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from each other. He didn't have time to react when you unexpectedly sat up, grabbed his neck and pulled him closer, stealing his breath from his lips.

"I love you..." you whispered "I love you so much..."

A few months later.

"Do you miss this?"

"What do you mean?"

Ellie glanced at you from behind the book she was reading and widened her teeth.

"You know what I mean." she replied "Patrols, searching for supplies, shooting..."

"I definitely don't miss that last one." you laughed, but then hissed quietly as you stuck the needle in your finger "Fuck! I'm not cut out for this!"

"You have to be patient. You told me the same thing when I was learning to drive, remember?"

"Too good." you mumbled sucking on your aching finger "It'll take me forever to sew these buttons on."

The door slammed and you both raised your heads. Joel entered the house bringing with him the smell of freshly sanded wood. He smiled at the sight of you.

"Finally!" Ellie jumped up from her armchair "I was supposed to meet up with my friends, and you don't seem to remember how watches work."

"Sorry, kid. Tommy wanted to talk." Joel replied, walking up to you and kissing the top of your head "Go, if you have to."

The door slammed shut immediately and you were left alone. Joel plopped down on the couch next to you, his large hand resting on your rounded belly. He smiled when he felt a gentle kick.

"You're getting bigger." he noticed.

"Fuck, Joel!" you laughed, putting the material and the needle aside "You saw me a few hours ago. I don't grow that fast."

"You just think so."

You shook your head in disbelief. "I think you and Ellie decided to tease me throughout the entire pregnancy. Don't deny it! This morning she asked me if I could still reach the kitchen counter."

"And you can?"

You nudged him hard in the side. "Asshole!"

The news of the pregnancy came to you unexpectedly. Joel still remembered your terrified look when you sat down in front of him and showed him the pregnancy test you brought from the clinic. Your period was already five weeks late, but you didn't have the typical pregnancy symptoms.

You stared at the positive result without saying a word for a long moment, afraid of each other's reactions. Finally, Joel spoke first.

"Do you want to keep it?"

"I don't know, Joel. My mind is blank..."

And then tears rolled down your cheeks. He held you in his arms, and you cried and apologized to him as if this pregnancy was your fault. 

That night you talked about all the possibilities, all the scenarios. You both knew that bringing a child into such a fucked up world was the height of selfishness, but you couldn't make any decisions.

When you fell asleep at dawn, he stared at you for a long time, thinking about it all.

You were his everything. After that night together, you didn't leave his house, but even moved into his bedroom. Joel felt complete, for the first time in many years. After many conversations, you found compromises that satisfied you both and decided to try everything again.

And now - pregnancy. 

He didn't wonder when it could happen, it didn't matter. What mattered was you. If you told him you didn't want this child, he wouldn't protest. But you weren't sure about anything...

However, when you stretched in bed in the morning, mumbling a quiet "Good morning", Joel Miller already knew what he should say.

"Whatever you decide, I'll be there for you. If you want this baby, I'm all in. And you need to know that I'll do everything I can to keep you and the baby safe. I love you, Y/N, no matter what."

He finally felt like he was in the right place. He wanted everything with you - a home, a family, a future. He was finally thinking beyond tomorrow and he loved it.

"I think it's going to be a girl." he said, watching you get up from the couch to make yourself some tea.

"Really? Why do you think that?" you laughed, pouring water into the kettle.

"Just a hunch."

"Uhm. I like it."

"And I like you."

You smiled, and Joel thought that this was what heaven should look like.

Just like you.

the end.

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[magnusunpopularopinions]

I'm not sure how unpopular of an opinion this actually will be but let's go:

I think people over inflate how bad of a person Elias actually is, and in comparison, treat characters like Basira, Nikola, Gertrude, etc much more softly. Don't get me wrong, Elias isn't the best person and his morals are questionable, but they're questionable because he hasn't been human in a good 150 years. His behaviour is in line with every other avatar we see, if a bit more held back violence wise. He only purposely hurts anyone if he feels it interferes with his plan (Which many Main avatars we see attempting a ritual don't do, like Nikola or even Peter in his day to day), or alternatively, puts Jon in an awkward position information wise. The way he handles Jon's ascent into becoming the Archivist isn't even that manipulative. It's less straightforward, yes, but he has his obvious reasons for it (Wanting Jon to Know and See and Understand without having it be explained to him, which would end with him relatively weak and vulnerable). The reasons themselves aren't Great for Jon, but otherwise, he handles himself in a very passive and socially acceptable way. He doesn't go through with doing anything about Not!Sasha, not because he didn't want to, but because there was literally no way he could have fired her or done anything to her without it being a tiny bit suspicious and causing a bit of an Archival uproar. Not doing anything about Prentis was his own fault, I'll be real, but I think he may have genuinely underestimated the amount of worms there are and I doubt he actually considered that the table may house the Not-Them, as he seemingly didn't expect Sasha to be taken. On top of that, him being all 'mysterious' during the Unknowing was just him having issues trying to figure out what he can or can't give Jon to help him figure things out because he genuinely can't Know these things due to the conflicting nature of the Stranger. Otherwise, all of his points of interest are very Avatar based. He eats, he works towards his ritual, and he works with others to make it happen. All things that other avatars do, that don't get overinflated into being fully 'evil'

TL;DR: I'm an Elias enthusiast and think he's just following his nature as an avatar, even if that mainly affects Jon and the archival team (Saying this as I'm relistening and nearly done with s4 lmao)

Thanks for sharing! Let’s chat!

I see what you’re saying, but may I also remind anon of… well:

“Apologies for the deception Jon, just had to make sure you were reading….”

and

[BPM]

and a couple other incidents I could probably come up with after I’ve published this.

Now, I’m not trying to ignore the ESSAY anon submitted full of evidence to back their point. I’m rocking with it- I’ll agree with you that Elias was simply doing his avatar job and withholding info, but I must say, I disagree with you on one point: Elias is a violent man.

Yes, his violence has a “purpose” but we must remember that even though Elias isn’t human, we are. The other characters (for a while and to an extent) are. The violence we do see from Elias is cruel and unfeeling. You can blame it on his avatar-ness all you want anon- and in fact you did an excellent job proving that he’s just an avatar doing avatar things- but the violence…. Elias is, imo, a very cruel being.

So, to summarize: I agree with anon on certain parts- Elias’s actions throughout the series reflect for sure that he is definitely not human. He’s an avatar working towards a goal. But I’ll disagree with anon when they say Elias isn’t that violent of a person/that the fanbase hypes up how evil he is.

In fact, I think the violence backs up anon’s point even further- the fact that he IS so cruel proves that he hasn’t been human for a while.

Hope that made sense- again, thanks for sharing and keep your words kind!

-E

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Edit: Hey gang! Wanted to add a few words here just to further state my thoughts on the matter and I’ll leave it with anon after that :)

Elias is a very complex character! Boiling him down to his avatar-ness or violent tendencies was not my intention, just my response to the gist of what anon was saying! I agree with a lot of the conversations being had in reblogs and replies!

I can’t say for sure what anon meant when they said that characters like Basira, Nikola, and Gertrude get “treated softly” VS Elias, but I do find it interesting they chose that set of people! All three women (feminine?), but not all avatars. I’m not sure if anon meant to do this- compare only women (feminine characters) or compare a mix of avatars and humans- but it is how it’s being received: with the focus on anon’s mentioning them.

In my own personal experience, I see quite a bit more about Elias than I do Basira, Nikola, or Gertrude, and when I do see them, it’s typically because they are with other characters. Basira especially.

I will agree again with myself though- Elias is a cruel and violent guy. I think he quite often is more violent than he should be (but that is the scary part- the fact that he IS so violent and ok with it.)

And I will agree with myself again- Elias was working towards total global domination and frankly, even if you are fond of him, I think there’s still plenty of reason that the fanbase may not treat him “softly.” He’s not a particularly squishy character.

(I do like Elias, he’s an interesting character and lots of fun to think about (I’d like to imagine sometimes that he lives a lot like Jim from the American Office TV show does and just deadpans into non-existent cameras when the staff does something or his printer runs out of ink or his coffee spills, etc.))

I just think that there are layers to anon’s thoughts and that there can be both an agreement and a disagreement on different points.

And please, even if you disagree with an opinion, try and keep your words kind! You guys have been a lot of fun to talk with so far and I’ve loved the discussions I’ve had with you all!

Thanks!

-E (again)

[darknessdrops]

A (long) Rant and Au Revoir

I'm Canadian. And I'm in a country that is under attack by its powerful neighbour. A neighbour that is intent on destroying our economy, taking our jobs, lowering our living standards, and erasing our sovereignty.

For the past sixty years we have, with the cooperation and invitation of the United States, conjoined our economy with theirs. Essentially there's been a North American economic union, first established by the original NAFTA treaty in the late 1980s. Canada relied on those treaties and the entire Canadian economy is now dependent upon access to the U.S. market.

And it turns out to have been a trap.

The U.S. President now imposes ruinous tariffs - on fake (what else would it be when coming from Trump?) and flimsy national security grounds - the obvious intent of which is to de-industrialize Canada (and Mexico) for the benefit of the U.S.

And sure, every country has the right to impose tariffs to protect vital national interests, or to protest unfair trade practices by another state. But across the board 25% tariffs against Mexico and Canada are not that; rather they are a form of economic warfare in which one state is using its economic advantage to beggar its neighbours. And it will result in severe economic hardship for my family and friends. (I have friends who work in the auto industry. They expect to be laid off in the next couple of weeks.)

I remember Trump texting - when it appeared that Russia was going to defeat Ukraine in a matter of days - how "smart" Putin was. Trump has no morality or sense of right and wrong. He only celebrates power and success.

It really depresses me that even the "liberal" American media that I follow (CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, etc.) sees this from a purely American viewpoint. What might it do to U.S. rate of inflation? How will it affect American jobs? But where is the outrage about an illegitimate exercise of power? That this is an aggressive and unprovoked attack on weaker countries that have done nothing to deserve such a response? (And god help me if anyone mentions fentanyl!!)

Anyway, I could go on and on. And on. But it makes no difference.

So one very small thing I'm doing is to cut all of my use or purchase of American goods. There's no fucking way I'll buy anything made in America. And that means cancelling Netflix and Prime and Apple+, the Times, and any other product that means I'm paying money to a U.S. entity.

Platforms like Tumblr and Instagram and BlueSky are a bit different. I don't directly pay anything for their use. (And, in the case of Tumblr, it probably loses money.) But they are American owned and, at this moment, that's not something that sits too well with me. And, sorry, that's probably irrational and unfair, but that's how it is.

I hope it's "au revoir" and not goodbye.

[riki-riks-chick]

hello!! inhope you’re having a good day ! i really enjoy your niki writings :)) i was wondering if you would do one with a tall reader? could be any scenario (insecurity, riki admiring the reader, etc) thank you!!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Stature ︱N.RK

riki x tall!reader

whenever yn doubts herself, riki is there to make her feel confident.

cw: fluff! insecure!yn, yn is 5'10, supportive bf!riki, degradation, riki likes tall girls, fuma (&team) cameo, kisses, reassurance, wholesome couples, non-toxic relationship, protective bf riki.

wdct: 2.4k

tyy for the request i hope this is good! im not talll so i hope i did good. <3

┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉

Third Person POV~

"Hey, babe. Jungwon told me there's some party going on tonight at Jake and Heeseung's house.. Do you wanna go?" Riki plops down on the couch beside you, patting your back as you sigh. "No.. I dont wanna go.." You mumble as he pouts. "Why not~? I don't wanna go alone..." 

"Riks, I really don't feel up to it.. I don't even have anything to wear.." You say as an excuse and Riki rolls his eyes. "I just took you shopping yesterday, come on.. If we can find you a good outfit you're going."

He pulls you up from the couch, dragging you towards the bedroom as you whine. "Riki... Why are you forcing me into this?" You ask as he sighs. "If you don't wanna go, I'm not gonna go because I wanna be with you.. But I'd much rather we both go have fun together.."

You roll your eyes at his reasoning, sitting on the bed while he rummages through your closet.

"Look, try this on.." He picks out a black halter top and some low rise jeans that you probably hadn't worn in the past year, you're already skeptical, but he forces you to try it on.

"I look ugly in the jeans. I need to lose weight before wearing these again." He scoffs loudly at your revelation. "Babe, I don't remember you ever even looking so good in these jeans, it's like you got better looking since we started dating."

You chuckle, turning away from your mirror to face him. "You're such a kiss ass, you're just saying that." He shakes his head at your words. "No, I'm not. You genuinely look good, but if you aren't comfy we'll find something you're okay wearing."

You can't help but smile at his willingness, and as soon as he forms another outfit, you try your hardest to try it on without any negative feelings.

The next outfit is simple, some cute jeans that are high waisted and flare at the bottom, and he gives you a dark blue tanktop that has thicker traps and a lace bordered neckline. 

You can't deny that the outfit is much better. As you're glancing at yourself in the mirror, he comes up behind you, hands on your hips and his head on your shoulder. "You look so pretty.." 

He moves your hair, trailing soft butterfly kisses over your exposed shoulder and your neck. "If you wanna wear this, I'll carry your coat for you.. Okay?.." You nod, deciding to give it a chance and go to the party. 

The two of you get ready, outfits matching cutely, and just as you're both putting on your shoes, Riki raises an eyebrow. "You're not wearing the matching heels?" He asks as you shake your head, sliding into your white sneakers. "These are comfier... And I don't really wear heels anymore."

His face falls as he looks you in your eyes. It's like he can feel the confidence leaving you with every passing second. "Baby.. Are you still thinking about what that girl said?.. I don't care if you wear heels.. It's not like you're taller than me in them." 

He had a point, you're only 5'10, and even in heels Riki still had a couple inches on you. "What if I was though?... Would you care?" You ask as he shakes his head. "Of course not.. If I cared that much about your height I'd be somewhere with a short girl right now.. I wanna be with you, I don't care about how tall you are.."

He takes a few steps closer, staring down at you as he kisses your forehead. "Plus, I don't have to break my spine to kiss you... Easier access." He smiles, giving you a soft kiss to your lips as you pull away giggling. "Okay.. okay, I get it.."

He smiles, tilting your chin upwards as he kisses you again. "Don't be so hard on yourself.. I love you, alright?" You nod, hands resting gently on his waist as you gazed into his eyes. "I love you too.." 

Shortly after the small pep talk, you guys leave the house, you're not really paying attention to where Riki is driving, your sole focus on choosing what songs to play on the aux.

When the car stops, though, you're puzzled. "Where are we?..." You ask as Riki smiles. "I figured we should hang out by ourselves... You seem more comfortable when it's just us.."

You sigh, shaking your head. "But you wanted to go to the party.." You respond with a pout as Riki nods. "We'll go later.. You know Jake and Heeseung's parties go on all night.. We can be fashionably late." 

You decide to go along with it, getting out of the car and following behind him. You didn't like drinking on an empty stomach anyway.

You walk inside the diner, hand tightly entertwined with Riki's as you wait to be seated. Another couple walks in, and you make eye contact with the woman, instantly regretting it, but smiling to hide your awkwardness.

"How tall are you?" She asks and you glance at her, stunned by the question. "Uhmm... I-" You struggle and she immediately apologizes. "Sorry, I was just curious.. Was that rude of me.."

"No, it's fine.." You lie, "I'm 5'10.." You respond as she gasps. "Wow, you're taller than my boyfriend..."

At her words, you glance at Riki, hoping she'll shut up. He only let's go of your hand, wrapping his arm around your waist instead and squeezing your hip.

"So, since you're tall I guess your boyfriend asks you to reach stuff instead?" She asks rudely and Riki shakes his head, gesturing for you not to reply and entertain her.

She scoffs when you ignore her. "Rude.. You think just because you're taller you can act like a bitch.. Excuse me for trying to spark conversation."

You're holding back tears as she degrades you, and Riki is fuming beside you, pushing you behind him as he glares at the couple. "Hey, man.. Learn to keep your chihuahua on her leash.." He spits as the other man scoffs. "Like we're afraid of you."

"Save the talk, shortstack. Make your girlfriend apologize for calling my girlfriend a bitch." He steps closer to the guy, slightly towering over him as the man's girlfriend rolls her eyes. "The world doesn't revolve around your girlfriend. If her feelings are hurt, she needs to get over it.."

Riki is about to say something else, but the waitress comes back over, saying that your table was ready. 

He decides to let it go, gesturing for you to walk in front of him as you both walk towards your table. He whispers something to the waitress that you can't hear, but you're sure it was about the couple because shortly after, they're being asked to leave.

"You okay?.." He asks as you nod. "Thank you for defending me.." You say as he smiles. "Don't thank me.. I'll always defend my pretty girl... You're height only adds to your beauty.. That runt was only jealous because she has to wait for Mr. Loser to reach the top shelf." You laugh at his words, feeling comfortable again. 

The next hour is spent with the two of you laughing together and making predictions as to what would be happening at the party when you both arrive later. You were sure they'd be playing truth or dare, but Riki just knew that beer pong had to be it.

When you finally got there though, you won because they were playing truth or drink. As soon as the two of you were spotted, Jake was quick to get up from his seat. "If it isn't my favorite couple! Come play!" 

You both simply sat in the circle, knowing that it's impossible to refuse Jake when he asks you to play a game. 

You greeted the other familiar faces you were used to, but for the most part you were quiet. Sometimes you simply preferred to watch Riki interact with his friends. The bright smile on his face was enough to keep you entertained. 

After everyone greeted Riki, Jake was adamant that the game continue, so he tells Heeseung to spin the bottle. 

You watch as it lands on Jay, and he sighs. "Can I get a normal question this time?" He asks with a laugh as Heeseung snickers. "Normal questions don't exist with Jaeyun." 

Jake seems to be thinking hard for a minute before finally asking the question. "Have you and your girlfriend ever been caught in the middle of fucking?" He asks and Jay immediately sighs, glancing at his girlfriend who simply shrugs her shoulders.

"Yes. We got caught by Sunghoon." He answers as Sunghoon laughs from his seat across from Jay. "I was looking for the jacket you borrowed. It's not my fault you didn't lock the door." 

You all laugh at the explanation, and then it's only a moment before Heeseung spins the bottle once more.

This time it lands on you. You're already nervous at what kind of question Jake will ask, but you decide to just let loose and answer if you can.

"What really happened that time you and Riki were locked in the bathroom at my last party?" He questions as you raise an eyebrow, glancing at Riki. "Nothing happened.." 

Heeseung glances between the two of you, eyebrows raised. "Nothing happened? I find that hard to believe."

"No seriously. She got annoyed at someone, so I was calming her down. Nothing else happened." Riki explains as you nod. At the confession though, Jake grows more curious. "Annoyed at who?"

"I don't remember, I was drunk..." You shrug, "She was rude as fuck though.." You answer as Jungwon hums. "What did she say to you?" He asks as Riki sighs. "She started talking about her height in a disrespectful way. What did she say, babe?" Riki questions as you raise your brow in thought. "She said something along the lines of her and her boyfriend wanting a threesome so they could climb my tree. Some dumb shit like that. It was fucking annoying."

Sunoo chuckles at your words. "What the fuck kinda question is that. I would've swung on her ass." He says as Riki nods. "Trust me, she almost did." 

You laugh at the memory, nodding in agreement with Riki's statement. Your smile quickly fades when some guy you're not familiar with speaks up. "Maybe you were the rude one.. It's seemed like a compliment. Maybe you should've hopped off your high ass horse and been nice about it." 

Riki's smile is also transformed into a scowl as he looks at the guy. "Fuma. You're joking, right?" He asks as the brunette scoffs. "I mean. I'm not wrong. Your girlfriend thinks that she's untouchable just because she's a fucking giant." 

At that, Riki is quick to rise from his chair, his tone challenging Fuma's. "You're just mad because my girl could stand on her tip toes and be taller than your sorry ass." 

Fuma scoffs, mirroring Riki's standing position. "Yeah right. Everyone knows that shorter girls are better. The least your girlfriend could've done was have a nice body to make her height look less awkward." Before Fuma can even finish speaking, Riki attempts to launch at him. Sunghoon and Jay are quick to hold the younger male back though. 

You're simply watching, fighting back tears. Heeseung observes your expression, and shields you, leading you into the kitchen. Once you're away from the drama, he sighs. "I'm sorry.. Fuma's drunk. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

You nod, inhaling deeply to keep yourself from crying and ruining your makeup. 

Next, Jake is walking into the kitchen, an apologetic expression adorning his face. "I'm so sorry, Y/n... I shouldn't have asked the question... I didn't mean to start all this." His tone is filled with worry and you sniffle, taking his hands in yours. "Its not your fault, Jake... Don't apologize."

He kisses both of your hands, pulling you into a hug as he rubs your back. "Please don't be upset.." You pull away, patting his shoulder. "I'm not upset, it's fine..."

You glance towards the entry way as Sunghoon and Jay walk in, both having a tight grasp on Riki. They let him go once he finally calms down, and he immediately makes  bee-line towards you, replacing Jake in front of you. 

The four of them then leave, giving you and Riki the space to talk. "Are you okay?.." He asks as you shake your head, finally letting yourself cry. "What did I do to him?... Why would he say those things about me..?" You ask as Riki sighs, pulling you against him as he kisses your head, his hand rubbing your back in, smooth, circular motions. 

"Shh... It's okay... You're perfect.. He was just being an asshole." He presses multiple kisses to your temple, pulling back slightly to press a slightly longer kiss to your lips. "You know I don't like it when you cry.."

You nod, wiping your tears as Riki cups your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks. "You don't believe him do you?.." He asks as you shake your head, earning a soft smile and a kiss from Riki. "Good, because you're perfect.. Tall or short, big or small... I don't care what you look like because I love you.. Okay?"

You nod, fidgeting with his belt loops as hugs you again. "You love me too, right?" He questions as you nod eagerly, pulling back to look at him. "Of course.. I love you so much.." You reassure, giving him a kiss to affirm your words, and he smiles. "Now.. Let's go have some fun."

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 3 🍒

"Chicken Fight"

pre-outbreak! AU! Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 2,231

Summary: at a pool party, your on-again-off-again boyfriend tries to start drama, and you start to realize the extent of what Joel feels for you.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, language, accusations of cheating/verbal abuse from a jealous bf, accidental(?) hard-ons, brief mention of masturbation, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), reader's race not mentioned, no use of y/n

Series Masterlist

You'd caught glimpses, but not really interacted with Joel since that day at the coffee shop. You wonder if maybe bringing up your sort-of-boyfriend Trevor had given Joel the sense that you were trying to warn him off of you, but in fact you had no idea why you'd mentioned him. And only after you'd invited Joel and his family to your party did you get the call from Trevor that he'd be in town that weekend to come and see you. You'd groaned about it, but there was no way on earth you could disinvite either him or Joel.

Trevor shows up early to help set up for the party, coming straight from his motel (as your cousin would not allow him to stay at the house). Though it's been a few weeks since you've seen him, you feel a lack of excitement when he's around, He tries a couple times to put his arm around your waist or to kiss you, but you manage to sidestep him, wishing to remain polite. Trevor's not the kind to force anything on you, but you can tell he's hurt by your lack of affection.

You cheer up when guests arrive and each time you run to the door hoping it's Joel. Every few minutes you pause to make sure your new swimsuit looks good, accentuating the parts of your body you love and downplaying the parts you're still learning to love. You pull on some denim shorts to keep Trevor's eyes off you.

You start to think Joel won't come by after all, then you hear the doorbell and answer it, finding him and Sarah on your doorstep, along with a younger man bearing a strong resemblance to Joel. You let the trio in, excitedly greeting Sarah, shyly saying hi to Joel, and being introduced to Tommy, Joel's younger brother. You smile and shake his hand, already able to discern their disparate personalities. If Joel is a smirk, Tommy is a grin. You catch him giving you then Joel a look, and you see Joel glance away. What is that about?

Sarah and Tommy head outside to the pool, leaving you alone with Joel. You both start to say something at the same time, then laugh. Trevor joins you at your side, his arm around your shoulders, prompting a questioning look from Joel.

"Oh, uh, Joel.. this is my boyfriend Trevor," you feel your heart pounding as the two finally meet.

Joel's smile almost looks forced. "It's nice to meet you, Trevor. I'm Joel Miller."

Trevor seems polite enough towards Joel, but his cell phone chirps and he excuses himself to answer it. "He's probably going to be on that thing the rest of the day," you sigh. "Do you want a drink? We have beer.. I'll have one too if you promise not to tell on me."

Joel smiles and you feel those little butterflies in your stomach again. "Well, in that case, I could go for one, yeah," he agrees. "A cold one would hit the spot."

You lead him outside where Sarah and Tommy are already in the pool, and a few of your friends and family are also swimming or eating. You grab a couple bottles of beer from the ice chest and pop them open. "Long time, no see," you say casually, handing him a beer.

"Yeah, I guess." He blushes a little and you notice it. He gives a casual glance over your body and you notice that too, while inside you're shrieking in excitement.

But he's a man of few words, this Joel Miller, and you have to remind yourself of that. "How's work been?" you ask. "I'm still hoping for a ride along."

"Work's been fine," he gives a little laugh. You can tell he's trying to keep his focus on your face and not let his eyes wander. "You really want me to take you on a ride along?"

"Would that be okay?"

He is quiet a moment before answering. "Yeah, that'd be fine. Sure you won't get bored or anything?"

"Of course I won't get bored. You're going to play all of country music's greatest hits while we're driving around," you tease.

He laughs. "Okay, you got me. I'll let you know when I'm available to bring you with me."

Surreptitiously you watch Joel sip his beer.. you watch the way his lips cushion the opening, watch the way his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, watch him lick the tiny droplets of beer from his lips. If you kiss him right now you know just what he would taste like.

Trevor approaches, breaking your little reverie. "Hey. I'm leaving."

You turn to him. "Already? Why?"

"You should fucking know why." He walks away but you put your hand on his arm. Trevor swats you away.

"Talk to me," you plead, following him inside. You realize you're not upset he's leaving, you just don't want a scene made in front of everyone there.

"Who's that guy? The one you were talking with?" he asks accusingly.

"He's my neighbor. I'm friends with his daughter," you defend yourself.

Trevor doesn't look convinced. "He's been checking you out the whole time he's been here. I caught him checking out your ass, looking at your tits. But I guess he's the one you're wearing this slutty swimsuit for, huh?"

You're taken aback by everything he says, but a small part of you burns within. Joel was checking me out?? "Trevor, he's only been here five minutes. You're imagining things."

"Am I? I drove all the way here to be with you. Are you still mine?" He cups your ass, pressing himself against you and you wince. Sensing your discomfort he steps away. "Are you fucking him?"

Eyes wide, your mouth is agape. "Of course not! And stop cursing, my family's here!" But you're blushing. You can feel it and Trevor sees it. He just shakes his head and goes out the door to leave.

"Have fun fucking your old-ass neighbor!" he shouts over his shoulder as he heads to his Jeep. "He only wants you 'cause you're barely legal."

"Wait!" You chase after him, not really knowing why. You watch helplessly as Trevor drives away angrily. Standing in the middle of the street, you think about your fight, about what Trevor has accused you of. Was your attraction to Joel that obvious? You hear your name being called and turn to see Joel. "Hey.. don't mind him, he's being an idiot."

Joel slightly raises his brow. "Did somethin' happen between you guys? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.. How much of that argument did you hear?"

"Not much of it, but he shouldn't cuss at you the way he did back there, in front of your family. Fuckin' lowlife," he grumbles.

You cast a quick glance at him. "I guess he was just jealous of us talking."

"Jealous.. of us talking?" Joel repeats.

You shrug. "He's the jealous type. He'll get over it." You force a smile. Thinking again about Trevor's accusations you don't sense any of that from Joel right now. Maybe it really was all in Trevor's jealous, overactive imagination. "Come on, let's go back to the party."

Trevor's words linger on your mind as you and Joel sit together, have some food, and catch up. There's not a lot going on in your own little life, but you could listen to Joel for hours, and after another beer he's a little more talkative. Soon Sarah and Tommy join you, and you genuinely enjoy getting to know the Millers. Even your family members come up to say hi to them, and you're glad that everyone is getting along, that Trevor's negative energy is gone.

The music is booming, people are laughing, having fun. The evening turns to night and the tiki lights are lit. The pool lights turn the water a brilliant aqua blue. Sofia and Tommy, who have been getting pretty chummy with each other all day, want to play chicken fight, and ask for another couple to play. They both point to Joel and you.

"Come on!" you tug at Joel to get him to the pool with you. "You ever played before?"

"A few times," he says, taking off his shirt. You watch a moment then look away, pulling your denim shorts off. You wade into the pool where Tommy and Sofia are splashing each other before getting into position to play.

Joel swims up to next to you and you realize this is the first time you'll ever touch in such a way. With a shy smile you get up on Joel's shoulders with some help from him as he lifts you up. You steady yourself, resting your hands on his head and he puts his hands on your knees. Perched on his shoulders, your thighs on either side of his head, it feels almost like an act of intimacy, and it makes you blush. Tommy and Sofia are in position opposite you. "Come on, I'm ready to win," you tell Joel, your fingertips lightly grazing his scalp.

His grip tightens on your knees. "I'm ready when you are."

You square up against Tommy and Sofia in the middle of the pool and push Sofia into the water easily. Joel cheers for you and give you a high five, and you gently tousle his hair. The next round lasts a bit longer, with you and Sofia struggling against each other until she uses Tommy to knock into Joel, causing you both to topple into the pool together. You both laugh as you resurface, wiping the water from your eyes. "We've got to win the next one, okay?" you tell him. He nods as he helps you onto his shoulders again. Once more you're incredibly aware of how close your bodies are, and if you move against him a certain way it creates a line of fire right to the pit of your stomach. You force yourself to concentrate on the game.

Round 3 starts. You and your cousin are tied and you both keep yourselves on top longer than before, both of you putting up a good fight. Ultimately you push your cousin into the water. "We won!" you shout. You get off Joel's shoulders and hug him in the spirit of victory, thinking little of it at first. Then you press a little too close. Joel tries to keep you away, but you already feel it.

Underwater, through his swim trunks, pressed against your belly, you feel Joel. He's hard. For you.

A jolt of desire shoots through you but you step back, unsure of what to do. He looks embarrassed and is obviously doing his best to get his situation under control.

"Best out of five!" Tommy shouts, unaware of what is going on with you and his brother.

"I'm retiring," you joke. "Find someone else to lose to," you smirk. Glancing at Joel, who has completely turned away from you, you get out of the pool.

The night goes on, the music seems to blare louder, the drinks flow freer, and it's mostly the younger crowd who's staying this late. Joel spends his time away from you, catching up with other guests, ignoring every glance you cast him. You can't help feeling pushed to the side. But you consider it's better than attempting awkward conversation with him. That moment keeps replaying in your mind: you'd caused that reaction in him, even if it was only because of the physical closeness you'd shared that was suddenly too much, even if it was just because you're a young woman.

As the party winds down in the wee hours after midnight Joel does finally approach you. "Hey, I can't find Sarah.."

You help him search the house and find her in your bedroom, fast asleep. "Poor little thing, she's tuckered out. She can stay here if you don't want to wake her," you offer.

Joel smiles. "That's fine. Just.. send her over if she starts being a pain. It's about time for me to head home. Tommy's still hangin' out with your cousin."

"Let me walk you home."

He hesitates. "All right."

You start outside, going next door to his place. Crickets chirp, their sound ringing through the Texas humidity. You reach his porch together. "Thanks for coming tonight. I hope you had fun."

"I had a great time," he smiles at you.

"Y'all can come by and use the pool anytime. I'm usually at work and Sofia travels a lot for the airline."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. Maybe we'll take you up on that offer."

"Don't forget you owe me a ride.. I mean, a ride in your truck.. a ride along," you stammer.

He gives you a warm smile. "Oh yeah, of course. I'll give you a ride. We'll have some fun.. in my truck. Definitely."

You blush at his words, the double meaning of them. You remember the feel of him between your thighs, his hardness against your pelvis. "Good night.."

"Good night." he says in return as you leave.

You hurry home. Showering doesn't help you relax. The only relief you find is when you slip your fingers inside yourself, wishing they were Joel's. You remake the night's events to form your own little fantasy, all while smiling. You know now that he definitely likes you back..

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