thelittlewarrior98

[thelittlewarrior98]

Hello!

So I know that this is an absolute long shot, but I wanted to share this here anyway in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help me coz I literally just don't know what else to do at this point 🥺🙏

My name is Holly-Jayne but most people call me Daisy, I'm 26 years old and I've been a part of the Phandom for over a decade now like D+P have pretty much always been my most favourite YouTubers and humans in the whole entire universe 💜

I've unfortunately never been able to see them live during any of their tours though as I've just sadly never been able to afford it!

It's always been one of my biggest ever dreams to finally go to one of their shows and maybe even meet them so I can finally thank them personally for everything they've ever done for me 💜

But then late last year I suddenly got very very sick to the point where I became bed bound and wheelchair bound and could no longer eat or drink anything without throwing up and I ended up losing way too much weight to the point where I genuinely looked like a living corpse and I was soooo so tired and in so much pain all the time and I even started struggling to breathe, but then after going through all of this for about 4 months as well as countless doctor appointments, miss-diagnosis including being told it's just anxiety and is all just in my head and also have to stay in hospital got about a week or so, I was very sadly diagnosed with Stage 4 (Terminal) Serous Carcinoma Ovarian Cancer that has spread to multiple areas of my body and I have now also completely lost my fertility because of it 😔💔

I also apparently had over 2 litres worth of fluid on my lungs which is why I was struggling to breathe and could barely even walk up the stairs without my legs just completely giving way.

So I've had to endure 6 very difficult and grueling rounds of Chemo which I actually finished around 2 months ago and I'm now on a targeted treatment that I have to have every 3 weeks for about a year and I also have to take blood thinners every single day for up to 2 years due to a rather big blood clot that they also found on my lung during my 1st round of Chemo!

I also almost died again during my 2md round of Chemo as I had a very bad reaction to it and stopped breathing for a couple of minutes......

We've had quite a few scares which I guess is just my new normal now, but i now as back to normal as I can be with Cancer and I'm very slowly but surely getting my life back together and just trying to live my life as much as I can for as long as I can as even though I'm terminal, I'd like to believe that I'll still be around for many many years to come and D+P have especially helped with his as watching their videos through all of the dark and scary times have always just completely cheered me up and put a smile on my face and they still give me the motivation and determination to fight and stay as strong and healthy as I possibly can be 💜

So yeah, it's probably been the most hardest and most painful year of my life, plus my grandad very sadly and suddenly passed away last October just before all of this happened and then we also very sadly lost my aunt in May of this year after a 16 year long battle with Cancer and my nan was also unfortunately diagnosed with Leukemia around the same time as my own diagnosis, so 2024 just hasn't been kind to us at all!

Soooo so much grief, pain and trauma that we're all still trying to deal with 😔💔

So yeah, when D+P announced the TIT I was absolutely BEYOND happy and excited like yessssss another chance for me to finally go and see them and potentionally meet them if I can get an M&G ticket and finally just something for me to look forward to after this very crappy year!!

But alas, time and luck once again just weren't on our sides as when the tickets were released for both dates we just so happened to be at the hospital for appointments and treatment and they all sold out before I even had a chance to try and buy them 😭💔

So I tried to use one of my wishes to see and meet them instead, but we've unfortunately just found out that the company no longer have any money and can't fulfill people's wishes anymore!!

But the thing is, we submitted the wish absolutely months ago like back when the tickets had just sold out and we never heard back from them at all until now when our macmillan nurse got in touch with them a few days ago, so they never even bothered to tell us which is really annoying and inconvenient because we could have maybe sorted something else out by now, but now we've only got a couple of weeks left and we're just at a complete loss as to what to do as this could literally be my last ever chance!!

Really starting to lose hope over ever getting to see or meet them now and I'm absolutely devastated as we just don't know when or if they'll ever go on tour again and even if they do, who knows if I'll still be here by then or how my health will be!!

I mean I'm always staying as optimistic and hopeful as possible, but we still just never really know......

So yeah, I just wanted to share this in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help in any way at all??

Idk how or what could be done or anything, but I thought it was worth a shot anyway as I've pretty much got nothing to lose at this point!

I was hoping for Manchester on the 29th btw as that's the only date that I'm able to do.

Thankyou soooo so much for reading all of this if you've actually made it this far, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!

I'm in this Phandom business for life haha 🤣💜 @danielhowell @amazingphil @danandphilupdates @danandphilhq @danandphilnews @danandphilsaltsquad

[thelittlewarrior98]

Damn I have NOT been on here in a while!

Happy New Year I guess lol 🙈🎉

[thelittlewarrior98]

💜💃 MY BTS PMTD STORY 💃💜

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Permission To Dance is seriously the best song and MV that the boys have ever released thus far, well for me personally anyway!

It will always have a very special place in my heart 🤩💖

As I'm pretty sure we all know, There's unfortunately been a lot of negativity and horrible comments and stuff about this song and MV though and that honestly just really breaks my heart......

I mean it's okay to dislike a song of course like we all have our own styles and tastes, but I don't think all the horrible comments and negativity (I mean in general like not specifically from this group or anything) is really necessary at all!

Please just remember and be aware that even though you might not like the song/mv, to someone else it could mean the whole entire world and more.......

I've decided to share my interpretation of the song/MV and why this song is just so special and meaningful to me and to many others, like I guess you could say that this is my PMTD story 😅🙈

But I've decided to share my story so that people/army can get a different perspective of the song/MV and hopefully see why to some of us, this song/MV just means absolutely everything and more and that it's not actually just some 'brightly coloured bubblegum English pop song that was just made for the charts' as a lot of people unfortunately seem to think......

So first of all, as someone who has disabilities the signing part honestly meant soooo so much to me and I honestly almost cried like I got so emotional (well the whole thing made me get extremely emotional but still!) 🥺💜

I mean i'm not deaf/hearing impaired or anything, but I am Autistic and when i'm having a meltdown/shut down due to being way too overloaded/overwhelmed/overstimulated etc, speaking suddenly just turns into a completely impossible task for me, so signing always becomes my main form of communication for a while until my brain starts processing as normal (well normal for me anyway) again, so the boys using sign language personally means the absolute world to me and I honestly couldn't be any happier!

In fact even with the chorus 'We don't need permission to dance', like with my Disabilities (Autism, Dyspraxia, ADHD etc) I find it really hard to stay still like sitting or standing still for too long actually physically hurts/aches due to issues with low core stability and proprioception, so most of the time (sometimes without me even realising it) when i'm bored or waiting in a queue/line etc I always just randomly start dancing, simply just because I always have to move. I probably look really crazy and strangers always give me weird looks and I used to feel kind of embarrassed about it......

But at the same time the random dancing actually makes me feel really happy and it makes the people who know me happy too like it always makes them smile and laugh which I love because I've always loved making people happy! I do it so much/often that it's honestly just become a huge part of my personality and who I am and it's a huge sign that i'm just being my raw, authentic, real and true self. For me the lyrics 'We don't need permission to dance' feels like they're telling me that I don't need to worry about what people think anymore because I don't need permission to be myself.

Everyone throwing their mask towards the end for me symbolizes me finally throwing away the mask that I've worn for pretty much the whole 23 years of my life to hide my true/real self as I tried soooo so hard to fit in with everyone else and be 'normal' because I was just too damn afraid of the judgement and the relentless hate and discrimination towards those who are even just a little bit 'different' which I unfortunately had to experience for my whole entire life anyway and sadly still do experience on the daily.

But I don't need to worry and I don't need to hide anymore. I don't need permission to dance, I don't need permission to be myself and even when I fall, it's okay because I know just how to land. I am and will always be nothing more than simply and very unapologetically just me and I am beautiful and perfect just the way that I am, disabilities and all and nothing will EVER be able to drag me down 😊💖

This is by far my most favourite song and video from the boys!

It's just so so meaningful, important, diverse and inclusive (the fact that's it's all in English as well just enhances/highlights that even more) and for the very first time in my whole entire life I actually feel like I truly belong somewhere and that I am loved and accepted for exactly who I am. I feel so much comfort from these 7 beautiful angels and thanks to them, I truly believe that I can finally start to love myself again and find the happiness that I've been longing for years. This journey seemed so impossible to me not too long ago, but not anymore as I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel that these boys have guided me through and I seriously couldn't be anymore thankful towards them!

I love them with literally every single fibre of my being and I honestly didn't know it was even possible to love these boys anymore than I already did but here we are 😂🙈

Thankyou soooo so much for everything my absolutely wonderful and beautiful Bangtan boys and Army family and a very Happy Army Day and Disability Awareness Month!

Borahaeeee 🌞🎉🥳🎈💜💖

[thelittlewarrior98]

It's like 7am and I still haven't even slept yet......

Time to catch some Z's me thinks! 😅🙈

Goodnight (or good morning I guess) Armyyyy 😁💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

Permission to dance be an absolute BOP though like song of the mf'in summer right there ladssss 🤩👌

[thelittlewarrior98]

YOONGIAAAAHHHH

[thelittlewarrior98]

JUNGKOOKIEEEEEE

[thelittlewarrior98]

JIMINSHIIIIII

[thelittlewarrior98]

So umm, it's been a while...... 🤣🙈

[thelittlewarrior98]

The lil birthday bean 💜🐱

[thelittlewarrior98]

A very big happy birthday to this absolutely beautiful and adorable lil baby beannnn! 💜🥺

There aren't nearly enough words in the world to describe just how much this lil Dague boy means to be and I'd honestly be here for years if I tried to explain it! 😅😂 But I hope you've had a wonderful day today Yoongi and that you're as happy and healthy as possible! Thankyou so so much for everything that you do for me and Army! You're such an incredible and beautiful person inside and out and I just love how caring, kind, sweet, passionate, hardworking, accepting, compassionate, down to earth, humble and nice you are and anyone could only aspire to be at least half the person that you are! I'll always look up to you for inspiration and motivation as you're the only thing in this world that keeps me going and you're the sole reason why I wake up in the morning! You make me so so happy Min Yoongi 💜🥺 You're literally the only person who can bring out the emotions in my Autistic self and I love you even more for that! God I love you Min Yoongi and I really hope that we can finally meet one day! Again, thank you for everything and I hope you've had an amazing birthday because you really do deserve the whole entire universe and more! Keeping being you and please never change kitten 💜❤

I love you my slug twin 💜😊

Happy 27th Birthday💜❤ 🎉🎊🎁🎈🎂🍰🥡🍜🍢🍣🥣🍲🥘🍱🍛🍤🍥🍪🏀🎹🖥📷🐱😺🐌😎😴✌👍🤙❤💜 @bts.bighitofficial

#happybirthday #happybirthdaysuga #happysugaday #suga #yoongi #minyoongi #minsuga #agustd #bts #7boysofbangtan #bangtanboys #army #kpop #beautiful #adorable #myworld #mylove #twins #kitten #slug #baby #bean

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9iDmnjnBMS/?igshid=1weuq3w7z7hmp

(PS: I'm soooo so sorry for being so late with the birthday post but I've just been so busy working! 😩😣)

[thelittlewarrior98]

Beautiful Baby Boy 🥺💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

Love you always my precious lil kitten 🐱💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

Look at this lil smiley baby omgggg!! 🥺💜

He's soooooo fucking beautiful and I just love him so much! I want him to be this happy forever 😭💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

💜💜💜💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

He literally has the most beautiful hands that I've ever seen 😍💜

[thelittlewarrior98]

Omg On is so fucking incredible like that choreoooooo! 😩👌 And the music is so litttttt!! 😎🙌

But holy shit Yoongi so indescribabley gorgeous! 😍💜