#i hope these will be at least somewhat useful
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
A Confession from the Heart of Suffering: An Unbearable Reality
I hope you read my confession, and thank you. This is the reality of all the people of Gaza.
Whenever I think of the life we used to have before the genocide, I have to struggle to hold my tears so I don't cause my children more pain than what they already feel. Our life, then, was neither easy nor perfect but it was full of warmth and the simple joy of being together under one roof .
We have never felt completely free because we have always been under a siege that has only gotten worse during this war but at least we felt somewhat safe and we had quite a decent life with the means that we were allowed.What kept us going was our belief that the future might be brighter one day.
Unfortunately, there seems to be no better tomorrow for us anymore. Nothing remains of our previous lives but rubble and memories, and the future is so bleak and full of uncertainties.It's not just the walls of our house that were turned into ruins, it's our hopes and dreams that were reduced to ashes. Now, we only dream of things that might seem so trivial to other people around the world like being able to sleep in and wake up in a comfortable bed or having a meal without standing for it in line for hours.
We dream of having enough clean drinking water so we don't have to worry about dying of thirst. We dream of the days we had a home with a regular kitchen and stove, the days we could celebrate special occasions with family in peace. Above all, we dream of not losing the people we love in a split second and of living safely and with dignity.
Instead, we have been wrongfully sentenced to a life of fear, displacement, and humiliation beyond belief. It is a living nightmare here now. Everything needed to ensure the bare minimum of decency and normalcy is denied to us. As you well know, there is no safe place in Gaza anymore and We are deprived of simple rights like having having a roof over our heads or enjoying some peace of mind for even one single day. The airstrikes and the buzzing of drones almost never stop. We live with a very real sense of impending doom day and night.
The water and food scarcity are only getting worse with time. Even regular chores like cooking or doing the laundry have become true challenges. I cannot propely bathe my children because the little water we get is polluted and their sensitive baby skin keeps getting irritated.
Before the war, my nine- year-old daughter was so picky about which outfits to wear; it made me laugh that she acted that way at her age but now we don't even have enough warm clothes for the winter. It kills me each time she says she doesn't need fancy clothes anymore and only wants to feel warm and go back to school. What makes it worse is our tent has recently been flooded by rain.
The whole camp turned into a swamp overnight. The children woke up soaked, shivering and terrified. It was almost impossible to calm them down as the rain kept pouring. We are doing our best but even if we succeed in finding the treatment, it's going to cost almost a fortune. This is why we need your support even more now.
All we do now is fight for survival every day. I never imagined,even in my darkest nightmares, that I would be searching high and low to put food in my children's mouths and keep them warm or that I would be begging the world to literally save their lives but I have no other choice now.
Despite the unbearable suffering we're daily going through, I still believe in humanity. please keep us in your prayers and help us anyway you can. Donate if you're able to,reblog and share our story as widely as you can.We are grateful to each and every one of you
Vetted by @bilal-salah0
7,464$ / 10,000$
430 notes
·
View notes
Text
⌕ pairing: rin itoshi x afab reader
⌕ warnings: aged up characters, thigh riding, somnophilia, reader is so fucking horny for rin in soccer mode. relatable. a (late) contribution to the @ficsforgaza kinktober intiative!! read the other works here !
⌕ word count: 1.05k
MORE A/B/O-TOBER HERE!
Attending Rin’s games was akin to watching a live sex demonstration playing out right in front of tens of thousands of eyes, including yours. The rippling of toned muscles as the men sprint down the fields, the displays of dexterity and precision as they expertly dribble and kick the ball away from their opponents, the grunts and groans of anger, desperation, success. All of it was straight out a fucking porno.
Rin was no exception to this. The man was known for his intensity and dedication to his craft, immersing himself into the game until nothing else in the world existed in that moment outside of the ball and the other men on the field. His passion for his craft was magnetic, drew everyone’s eyes to him even if the spotlight wasn’t on him. Rin Itoshi was the shining star of Paris X Gen.
And you were unbearably turned on.
With every minute that passed, your chest pounded and pussy throbbed until you could barely think straight.
The problem though, resided in the fact that games, especially those of extra high intensity, had somewhat of an opposite effect on Rin. Whereas you bounced through the door of your shared apartment, desperate to pounce on your boyfriend, Rin was fighting to keep his limbs moving and eyes open. Following him to the couch where he collapsed, head falling back, you excitedly settled on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“You looked so fucking hot out there baby,” you purred, diving in to start kissing up his musky neck. He had taken a locker room shower, but they were brief, just enough to get the top layer of sweat off, so he - luckily - still had a lingering scent to him.
“Mmm, thank you, sweetheart,” he mumbled, eyes halfway closed as he rested a limp hand on your waist.
“Couldn’t fucking wait to get my hands on you afterwards, so fuckin’ hot I could barely see straight.” Deft, impatient hands rubbed up and down his chest while you continued to mouth at Rin’s throat.
“Mhm.”
The complete lack of reaction from your boyfriend had you frowning, leaning back to assess him. Eyes closed, he was already even snoring a bit.
“Sorry honey, a little too-” a deep yawn interrupted his words. “-tired tonight.” His entire body seemed to have gone limp, his eyes fluttering shut all the way.
Fuck. With the throbbing ache between your legs clouding your judgment, there was no hope for just waiting for the lust to fade, and touching yourself wouldn’t even come close to satisfying you. But there was also no hope in trying to keep Rin awake.
Surely he wouldn’t mind if you used him just a little bit, right? Nothing too invasive…
The one part of Rin you couldn’t keep your eyes off the whole match, the part of his body that drove you so crazy it kept you awake at night, was what you knew could at least satisfy you enough - his thighs. And given that he was in shorts, that would be easy.
Shimmying off your own pants and underwear, you settled back into a snoring Rin’s lap, but this time you braced your legs against only one of his. With just a quick tug of his shorts leg closer to his crotch, you could rest your bare pussy against the skin of his toned thigh.
A whimper left your mouth even just at the skin-to-skin contact, your puffy clit that had been aching for hours desperate for relief. No noises or movements you had made though had woken the man up. Rin had already fallen into a deep sleep, evidence of how badly that game had worn him out.
Once again wrapping your arms around his neck to anchor yourself, you slowly started rocking your hips to generate friction. The slick that had already been oozing out of your pussy for hours clung to the hairs on his thigh and allowed for smooth, fluid movements as you humped his thigh.
And fuck, it felt good. The taught skin of his toned, muscly thigh provided the perfect warm yet firm surface to rub your pussy against. Despite attempting to keep it slow so as not to disturb the exhausted man, getting a taste of such pleasure threw those pleasantries out of the window.
Using two fingers, you spread open your lips wider so your clit could get full contact against Rin, gasping at the increased pressure. Increasing your speed, your mouth fell open as you humped Rin’s thigh, dragging your pussy back and forth against him.
“Rin, fuck,” you whined, tightening the grip you had on him for leverage. No response came from your boyfriend, other than a quiet snore.
It felt like your hips were moving independent from your body, stuttering and thrusting seemingly on their own as they desperately chased the pleasure and relief Rin’s body was providing. Slick trickled down his thigh as it dripped out of your pussy, evidence of your lust only growing.
How Rin stayed soundly asleep despite your frantic humping, jostling his body as you used him like a toy, you didn’t know, but it became of almost no concern as your orgasm approached.
With your mounting lust came images swirling in your mind of Rin on the soccer field, how gracefully yet forcefully he moved, dominating the game and the players around him like he owned the damn place. The very same thigh you were humping now was the one that powered the kick that catapulted P.X.G. into yet another win, thanks to the unstoppable Rin Itoshi.
The high that had him falling to his knees on the grass and roaring like a wild animal, how hot it was when he let his pride and excitement really show instead of maintaining his constant stoicism, was what pushed you into your own high. Yowling like a cat, your hips stuttered frantically as your orgasm was within reach, head falling back as it finally washed over you in powerful waves.
Collapsing against him as you panted, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Here you were, whining and moaning and coming hard while your boyfriend was fast asleep underneath you.
“Sorry about that, baby,” you whispered, kissing his cheek. “I owe ya one.”
#rin itoshi smut#rin smut#bllk smut#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x you#bllk fic
187 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, could I make an order for Hiccup Haddock x male reader? In which at the beginning they are at the end of the first movie and, like what happened to Hiccup's mother, a dragon kidnaps the male reader because he liked it (this dragon can be a woolly howl? 🥺 Almost no one knows this dragon). And at the beginning of the third movie, when they are rescuing the dragons from the ship, the reader He appears with a somewhat unkempt appearance, and it turns out that all these years he was trying to locate Berk so he could return but on his journey he came across the hunters' ship. I would like a meeting full of action and romance with tears of happiness for finally meeting each other, please.
Going home
Summary: Being kidnapped by a dragon has its perks, but you really miss home. And Berk, too, you guess. Pairing: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x male reader Wc: 3k A/n: idk couldn’t stop thinking about this, rushed it out as soon as I could and I have zero idea how to write fight scenes
It was true that Hiccup had a soft spot for dragons— no one around Berk could deny that fact— that Toothless had opened up like a gaping chest wound he didn’t know was there at first. Unable to kill the mighty beast that night, seeing himself in the young dragon. Instead becoming the first (technically second) dragon rider from Beek; turning violent hunters into loving but still violent dragon riders.
Hiccup loved all the dragons, he learned the ins and outs of every single breed he came across. He obviously had a favorite, Night Fury’s but he wouldn’t say he hated any dragons. At least, depending on who was asking him.
Astrid, Stoick, and Gobber would all hear the endless rambles about one particular dragon; unable to roll their eyes or stop his ramblings because they know the reason for his near hatred of them.
The Woolly Howl dragon was one he couldn’t bring himself to care about. Not even if you paid him all the money in the world could he be anything more than indifference and he doesn’t think he even has that for them. Not after the dragon nest incident.
Hiccups remembers the first time he’d taken you flying. Before Astrid, before everything. You’d been braver than he was, had a better grip on Toothless too. He liked that about you, you’d always been the one with a level head, doing what was necessary. It’s probably why his father pushed for the two of you to become friends, hoping you’d rub off on Hiccup. Toughen you up.
Stoick couldn’t imagine what would happen between the two of you, though.
He wouldn’t say it was love, not yet at least. You’re both only fifteen, although Stoick supposed he was in love with Valka at a younger age. But he can definitely tell it’s coming soon; the way you two operate is like two halves of a missing puzzle. He reckons if his wife was there to see it, she’d say you were soulmates in living color.
You’d gotten the others ready to follow Stoick and the other Vikings and used Astrid to knock some sense into him. You would’ve done it yourself but you knew none of the others could get the dragons somewhat ready. And time was running out, you needed to be as fast as possible. Although Hiccup did most of the work convincing them to actually get on them— he always was the crowd worker of the two of you.
Touch as you were, though, you had a terrible sense of direction, so you rode with Snotlout towards the dragon nest. You were going to ride with Hiccup but Astrid was firm that wasn’t going to ride with Snotlout and couldn't fly just yet.
It was good. At first. The plan was working, you were distracting the leader dragon and then one thing led to another before things went terribly wrong.
You don’t know when, you don’t know how, but you remember falling. It was hot, fire was everywhere. You lost the others in the chaos, you couldn’t see more than a couple of inches in front of yourself. Smoke started quickly filling your lungs and you were ready to give up on trying to escape the flames when it was put out. Suddenly everything was cold, colder than the worst snows on Berk.
Ice and snow pushed against your face and you hurriedly used your shield yourself while trying to remain standing. When it stopped, you slowly lowered your hands and looked around.
You thought you saw dark brown fur, but when you reached out you felt the hard scales and a deep timber rumble. Purple eyes stared back at you before it roared and you were shot into the sky. As you were being taken up, you saw Hiccup enter the air with Toothless, the monster of a dragon hot on their tail and tried to scream for him. Scream for either of them to notice you— anything. But your voice was shot, the smoke had done a number on your lungs and throat.
It was useless to try any longer and you watched as the island got smaller, dread filling your stomach.
The Woolly Howl had flown in the clouds, flying away from the fight you could see in the distance. Purple blasts from Toothless grew less and less as you gave up fighting. Even if you got out of the dragon’s harsh grip, you don’t know where you’d land or how you’d even make it back.
You never did get to see if they won the fight.
When Hiccup woke up in his room with Toothless at his side and half of one of his legs; he was just happy the plan had worked. He was happy that he saw Berk buzzing with dragons, he couldn’t look anywhere and not see them. Everyone had greeted him like a hero for the first time in… well, ever. Surely he had died and this was his paradise but when you didn’t run up to him, he was sure this wasn’t paradise.
“Where’s (Y/n)?” He slowly asked Stoick and the laughter and cheers died down around him. Stoick removed his helmet and Hiccup faltered, almost falling on the firing had it not been for Astrid. He looks between the crowd that’s slowly dispersing, his chest heaving up and down as his mind swims with the worst possible ideas.
“No one could find him,” She said when Stoick couldn’t find the words. “Toothless and the others tried to track his scent but…” She looks off.
“No,” He shakes his head, looking around. This wasn’t true. “He- he was with Snotlout! How did he lose him?”
“They got separated. One of my men saw a Woolly Howl flying around; they think it's what took him.” Stoick places a hand on his son's shoulder, offering comfort before Hiccup throws himself into his fathers, pulling him impossibly close as he cries. Stoick sucks in a breath before he kneels down, embracing his sobbing, grieving son just as he did when he lost Valka.
“I’m sorry, Hiccup. I’m so sorry.”
—
You scramble to your feet as the Woolly Howl drops you on top of a snowy patch on a mountain. The snow stings your hands and you’re already shivering; your furs weren’t nearly as thick enough for these temperatures. The dragon tilts its head as you slowly back up, reaching behind you when your back slams into something.
Glancing behind you, your eyes close when you find you’re backed into a corner. You know you’re too high up to leave, too cold to even think to fight.
The dragon nudges your leg and you open your eyes, waiting for your death but it nudges you away from the corner and gestures to a cave. There’s a… you squint and smile. There’s a fire inside. Rushing into the cave, it follows after you and you see an older man next to the fire, spinning a long fish over the fire.
“Good,” He coughs, patting the animal fur rug to make you sit. Settling next to him, you look at the entrance of the cave where the dragon is lying in front of, but not blocking. “BeeBoo needs a new friend.”
“BeeBoo?” You ask, looking back at him.
“I'm old,” He continues, ignoring your question. “She needs a new friend.” The man takes the fish off and offers it to you. “You’ll get used to the cold. My furs are in the corner, if you’d like.”
“I need to go home,” Shaking your head, you look for the furs and then them lying in a neat corner. Rushing to put them on, you return to the fire. “Please, can you take me home?”
“BeeBoo can,” He nods. “I’ll be gone before nightfall.”
“You’re leaving? Is there a village nearby?”
“No village,” He shakes his head. “I am old. I will be gone soon.” You look him over, his skin hangs the way the elders on the island do, his hair is barely there, and he shivers like no other despite being bundled in several layers and next to the fire. He’s old, you realize, he will be gone soon.
“Oh,” Blinking, you peel back the scales of the fish and eat in a solemn sort of silence before the old man leaves the cave as the sun starts to go down. BeeBoo howls, giving the man one last head hug before he disappears into the blizzard. BeeBoo turns to you, a sad sort of cry echoing from her chest and you can’t help but feel bad for the dragon.
—
Hiccup checks his notes again, running a finger past each line as he observes two Woolly Howls playing in the nearby snow with Toothless.
strike dragon
fire type- hail
purple mouth and eyes
fur like scales
tail fins
segmented underbelly— blends into clouds
can withstand blizzards
medium-sized
lives in snowy mountains
Sighing, he wipes his face and turns to his map. This is the fourth snow mountain he’s been to this week. He’s lost count of how many he’s been to in the past five years.
He calls Toothless back as he packs up his items; it’s nearly time for the steal mission with the others. As he’s packing the items, he runs his fingers over your old arm brace. He remembers when the two of you had carved your initials into it, he’s since outgrown his but he keeps it around. It hangs in this room right next to your other items that he had lying around.
Hiccup hadn’t given up hope in finding you. He spent every waking moment he could trying. But, he found everyone but you. He found his mother; he’d hoped maybe you were there too. In some secret dragon sanctuary but no. She was the only human and she hadn’t seen you. He had a separate map for you; he’d tracked countless Woolly Howls and where they’d spend their time. A few times he thought he was close, he was sure of it, but nothing. Your clothes had lost their smell and even if they hadn’t, he doubts Toothless or any of the other dragons could track it through the blizzards.
You hadn’t stopped either. You traveled whenever you could, only stopping when Beeboo needed to rest. But, your sense of direction was still as shit as it was when you still lived on Berk. It felt like you found everything but your home. Even found some weird dragon place that looked like a nice place to live. But they weren’t exactly taking newcomers and you didn’t want to stay.
Even more unfortunate for you; you’d managed to get trapped by dragon hunters after falling asleep while Beeboo flew over a stretch of ocean. Apparently, she got curious about a boat and went to inspect it. Beeboo had protected you when they found and trapped her, hiding you in her wings so you wouldn’t get caught or hurt.
Currently, you’re catching the last bit of your rest. You’d been up for nearly a whole day and, Odin, were you tired. But the smell of fire had woken you up and it made Beeboo stirr uneasy with the flames she was seeing. You began to crawl out from under her wings when you heard the gate lock slide open and then the gate slowly opened.
BeeBoo growled, holding you close as you heard two footsteps get closer. It was from one person, but one of the steps sounded heavier than the other. The other half step had a sort of metal sound to it. Metal hitting metal rather than leather-bound feet. The person sighs; this sort of annoyed sigh you do when BeeBoo goes fishing without you and brings up eel.
“Hey, easy girl.” Peering out from the wing, you see a man walking up to BeeBoo and slipping out, pointing your sword at the man’s neck. His back is illuminated by the lamps, face is hidden in the darkness of the cage.
“Another rider?” He asks and his voice is so familiar. His voice is one you hear when you sleep, one you’ve spent years trying to find again. With wide eyes you drop your sword and remove your helmet, it clunks as it hits the floor, rolling between you and Hiccup. Hiccup falters, eyes widening as he recognizes you within seconds. You’re messy, sure. Your hair is different, unkept and there are bits of ice inside of it, your lips are chapped and your clothes are wet from the melting ice.
But it’s you.
“(Y/n)?” He breathes and you rush into a hug, holding him close. He hugs you, lifting you from your feet and you laugh, doing the same when he sets you down.
“I’ve been looking for you,” You sob, slipping your hands under his helmet which he quickly tosses off. “I’ve never stopped looking.” Holding his hand, your fingers wrap around the glove, his warmth feeling like a beacon.
“Me neither,” He pulls his head back, tears in his eyes. “I never stopped.” Laughing out another sob, you hold his face and take him in. His gloved fingers slide across your face, brushing your hair away so he can take you in before his lips crash into yours. They’re so incredibly warm and he tastes like home, gods, you’ve never been happier to be locked in a cage before.
He pulls you closer, your tears mixing together on your face, ignoring whatever is going on outside because fuck that. You just got each other back.
BeeBoo makes a noise she only makes when there’s danger around and you pull away. Grabbing Hiccup’s helmet first, he takes it while you grab yours, quickly putting it back on and grabbing your sword when you see guards rushing over. Hiccup fixes his helmet into place and guides you out, his hand never leaving yours.
“Attack!”
“Get the rescues out of here!” Hiccup shouts as you leave the cage and Toothless drops down next to him. You beckon BeeBoo to follow Toothless, trusting Hiccup's judgment of his dragon with yours.
“Okay. Who’s that?” Astrid asks but Hiccup just smiles and flicks his helmet down, his sword igniting in a fire. Your sword isn’t nearly as cool as his, but BeeBoo blasts it with ice that creates a jagged blade.
“Stay close,” His voice is a plea that you agree to without hesitation, the two of you fighting as if you’d never been separated. He goes low while you go high, disarming threats as they attack. Toothless and BeeBoo work together as well, BeeBoo freezes them into place while Toothless launches them into cages.
Hiccup swings his sword, bringing a guard's sword to the ground and you tackle the guy, tossing him into a nearby cage. With him knocked out, you turn around and see Hiccup struggling under the guards; Toothless is in the middle of helping the twins so you rush over, jumping on one of the guy's backs to pull him off and down.
He fairs better with the one guy while you wrestle the second into a pinned position.
“You okay?” Hiccup breathes, his guy knocked into the cage of the first guy.
“Yeah,” Nodding, you toss the guy's ax away and pick him up. “I’m just used to fighting dragons.”
“You fight dragons?” He asks and you laugh, fixing your clothes.
“BeeBoo likes to wrestle but she doesn’t know her own weight.” Ducking under another guard, you kick his legs out and Hiccup keeps him down with his fire sword.
“Yeah,” He nods, his head bobbing like it always did when he was younger. “I wrestle with Toothless all the time.” For a second, he joins Toothless in taking down a small group and you glance around for your dragon. She’s fine, freezing a broken cage into place.
“Dragons are such babies!” Punching a rogue guard that had escaped Snotlout, you watch as he falls down.
Somehow you managed to get back to Astrid; although it’s not that big of a ship. You and Hiccup send your dragon to get the others while you deal with the last of the guards.
“I thought this was supposed to be a stealth mission,” Astrid rolls her eyes as she walks up, swinging her around around. “And who is that?”
“Yeah, they always start that way—“
“Look out!” The three of you split up as a spear gets shoved where you once stood before a dragon takes the man away and drops him into the water. “Thanks, Stormfly! Who is that?” Once again, Astrid looks at you and you wave.
“Long time no see,” You grin, lifting the visor of your helmet. She gasps and looks at Hiccup who nods, squeezing your hand.
“Move out! We got ‘em all!” Hiccup tells the others and the fight immediately stops; the others find their dragons with ease. You wonder how many times they’ve done this; it seems very well rehearsed. Calling for BeeBoo, you latch onto her tail before she takes up into the sky.
You wait for Hiccup, blasting a group of guards that had cornered him just as Toothless barrels into the ones BeeBoo hadn’t gotten. You smile when he joins you, nodding to where the others are waiting for him and for you. You look over at them and smile, wiping your face. Joining the others, you’re given a warm welcome by them all— and a very long apology from Snotlout that you promised wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t his fault you got separated and then kidnapped by a dragon. It could happen to anyone really. Hell, it happened to Hiccup's mom from what she tells you as you’re flying.
“Wanna ride with me?” Hiccup asks when you’re coasting through the air. You’d been flying side by side with him but that wasn’t close enough and obviously, he felt the same way. Nodding, you stand on BeeBoo and take his hand, letting him guide you onto Toothless.
“Where’re we going?” You ask, laying your head on his shoulder. He squeezes your hand that’s on his waist as he looks back at you; his lips brushing against your lips.
“Home. We’re going home and I am never letting you go again.”
#x male reader#x reader#hiccup haddock x male reader#hiccup haddock x reader#hiccup x male reader#how to train your dragon#httyd x male reader#httyd x reader
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
i only just realized they havent promoted any of the tour stuff on dan's channel. i guess cuz he still views his own channel to be very separate from the dan and phil™ energy especially since his content since 2019 (the little that has been there) is in this more philosophical introspective but-still-very-dan-humor tone including wad. but like even tho uploads were scant from dan in 2018 (i mean they always were lmao) they uploaded the ii trailer on dan's channel cuz it's technically the one with the larger audience. it makes me think like, it's not just cuz the tone of tit fits better with the dapg audience. i feel like maybe, they DIDNT want this tour to have non-phannie reach in the slightest. i mean, the tone that they have implied for the show (without spoiling) is that its very much in conversation with US SPECIFICALLY. they jest about "bring your straight boyfriend along," but the concept at least wasn't really made with the straight bf in mind. and thats true about all their tours, theyre made for Phannies First and Foremost, but they tried going for a very wide appeal with tatinof which worked, and even tho ii was a bit more niche it was a lot more international and allowed some phannies in places they had never visited before to share in some of the magic (and i reallllly hope theyre able to do SOMETHING for non-western phannies for this tour ☹️☹️) but tit is like. it's really for the hardcores. it's not just for people who somewhat enjoy dnp's videos sometimes, it's for the weirdos. this is a weirdos-only zone if you're not a little bit weird don't see tit
107 notes
·
View notes
Note
hiiii can you write about precrash nat and reader. reader moves to wiskayok and moves to nats trailer park. her and nat don't really talk much because reader attracts more of a popular crowd. reader hides the fact that she lives in a trailer park from her new popular friends. reader joins the soccer team and starts to become more friendly with nat. one day after practice nat offers reader a ride home and she accepts. nat and reader become closer after that. reader develops a crush on nat but doesn't like that either because she feels like its wrong. readers friends notice that shes been hanging out with nat and getting rides with her and they dont like that so they follow nat and reader and realize that reader lives in a trailer park. so the next day they bully tf out of reader and tell everyone. reader goes to nat for comfort and thats when reader reveals her feelings for nat
lololol this is my first time requesting so i hope its good
What a Shame
Natalie Scatorccio x Fem! reader
5.9k words
Warning(s): Bullying, drug use (weed), internalized homophobia, slut shaming, blatant homophobia, bi! Nat, ambiguously queer reader
Quick note that I know almost nothing about sports in general, let alone soccer (I haven't played sports in 4 years and I haven't even touched a soccer ball since 2nd grade)
--------------------------------------------------------
Moving right before your senior year of high school was not your idea of a good time. Moving to a trailer park right before the start of your senior year was your nightmare.
Sure, you knew why you'd moved. Your dad had lost his job, and your mom wasn't in the picture. So, moving it was. Hopefully, your dad would find a new job, and at least here no one would know what happened. You didn't have much going for you, but you had that.
The only downside was, in fact, the trailer.
But you were determined to make the best of it. Make friends, get good grades, and not let anyone, literally anyone, find out where you lived. You just had to make it through one year. How hard could it be?
One small hitch in that plan was Natalie Scatorccio. She knew exactly where you lived. Because apparently the two of you were neighbors. Which was... not ideal.
Somehow, though, you'd made it through the entire first semester without word getting out about your housing situation. Your friends had no idea, and somehow you even managed to be somewhat popular.
"I'm thinking about joining the soccer team," you say offhandedly at lunch one day.
"I mean, it's not a bad idea. You played at your old school, right?" One of your friends asks, looking at you.
"Yeah, I was the goalie. I've heard they already have one, but I don't mind being second string." You shrug, picking at your lunch.
"Doesn't hurt to try! Plus, the team's like, really good. Not like you have anything to lose. Besides, you're probably better than the current goalie. I heard she's a total d-" Before she can finish the sentence, the bell for the end of lunch rings.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two days later, you're standing on the soccer field, listening to the head coach go over the rules and expectations for tryouts. Nothing you haven't heard before, so it's pretty harmless when you tune him out to scope out the players already on the team.
And- Shit, was that..?
Natalie. Your Neighbor.
Because of course it was. Honestly, she didn't seem like the type to play sports, let alone soccer. But you knew that you probably didn't look like a soccer player either, so it wasn't the most valid assumption.
Soon enough, you're being ushered into groups based on the position you're trying out for. There's only one other girl trying out for goalie, so you're fairly sure that you'll make the team. If only to play backup to the redhead that you'd seen in a couple of your classes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tryouts go about as smoothly as expected, and you're even more confident about making the team by the end. The poor girl who was also trying out had clearly never played soccer in her life. You almost felt bad for her. Almost.
You weren't the best at any sort of dribbling or shooting drill, but that wasn't exactly necessary for the position of goalie. What you lacked in those skills was made up for in agility and your goalkeeping abilities.
Officially, though, you don't know if you've gotten the position for another week. Which, fine. It's not like you needed practices to start immediately or anything. You were just kind of bored. And maybe a little sick of your friends. But you could wait. It would at least give you time to prepare to interact with Natalie at practice.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks later, you find yourself on the soccer field after school. As expected, you made the team. Also as expected, you weren't a starter. Which wasn't the worst possibility. At least you had made the team. And Van, the starting goalie, seemed really funny. She wasn't a bitch to you, either. Which was honestly unexpected. since you were her backup. Certainly seemed nicer than your friends.
Honestly, the whole team seemed nicer than your current friends. Sure, you could already tell that Jackie was going to be a lot to deal with, and Taissa was a bit intimidating. But that's better than complete assholes. Even Natalie at least seemed indifferent to you.
You're standing out on the field, talking to some other new recruits. And by talking, it was more like standing there and listening to them talk to each other. Almost everyone else had moved up from JV, while you were the only new student on the team. Everyone else knew each other, it seemed. It was kind of expected, though, and you had gotten used to being the new girl.
None of the other seniors really talked to you, each of them already having formed friend groups. You could see the factions now. Lottie, Taissa, and Van were all talking together. About what, you had no idea. Shauna and Jackie were practically attached at the hip, so there was no way you were going to be able to get in the middle of that. Natalie was nowhere to be seen, which didn't exactly surprise you. Which left Laura Lee, a sweet, devout Christian girl. You could work with that.
Before you could approach Laura Lee, though, Lottie walks up to you.
"Hi, you're the new girl, right? I'm Lottie, the starting center back." she's smiling, which is a good sign. It's a bit odd that she's talking to you, though, considering her reputation as the richest girl in school.
"Oh, hi. I'm y/n. Second string goalie." You smile back at her, trying to appear more confident than you're feeling. Despite being somewhat popular, you weren't really a fan of trying to navigate talking to new people, which is why you stuck with your friends despite you not always getting along with them.
"No offense, but I kind of already know who you are. Not everyone transfers schools their senior year." Lottie seems almost smug, but it's more confidence than anything. She knows how to charm people, that's for sure.
It feels like she knows exactly why you moved to Wiskayok, which is odd. No one knows why you moved except for you and your dad. And you certainly didn't tell her.
Despite the weird aura coming from her, Lottie actually seems really nice. As much as you want to trust her immediately, you know its probably best to keep your guard up, at least for the time being. Maybe if you get closer, you can explain your living situation.
Suddenly, you wonder if the Yellowjackets soccer team knows that Nat lives in the trailer park. It's a decently small town, and you assume that most of these girls have lived in Wiskayok for their entire lives. How did they take it when Nat revealed where she lived, if she did? Do they care? Has everyone just always known?
Lottie's looking at you kind of weird, and you realize you must have zoned out for longer than you thought. Before you can say anything, though, Coach Martinez has everyone pair up for drills. Lottie grabs your arm before you even have a second to think about who you'll pair with.
"You're with me, new girl. Van and Tai always pair up and leave me to partner with Nat, but not today. You're stuck with me." She's smiling, which puts you at ease. She's not as intimidating as she seems from afar.
She starts passing you the ball, and you silently wonder if maybe you're not supposed to be doing this drill, since you're a goalie. But Van's passing with Taissa, so you don't say anything. Besides, it's not like you're the coach.
You spend the rest of the drills paired with Lottie, until you have to be separated for your respective positions. It's weird, only having Van there with you. She's really talkative, though, which is a good distraction from your general nerves surrounding practice
"You've played before, right?" She's talking to you now, as you're shuffling back and forth for agility training.
"Yeah, all through high school," you reply, trying to focus on your footwork.
"How's it feel being second string your senior year?" She's clearly not being mean or insensitive. She honestly sounds a bit teasing, and you can appreciate that.
"Better than nothing." She laughs at that, and you feel like you won something. All of these girls seemed so nice. Maybe you'd be able to start ditching your friends.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An hour and a half later, you're starting on your walk home. Silently, you're cursing yourself for showering in the locker room. You had hoped your dad would be able to pick you up, but he was working late. Which you appreciated, of course. But it was a little annoying.
Suddenly a shitty, old Toyota pulls up next to you. One that you recognize from the parking lot at school and the trailer down the street. Natalie.
"Need a ride?" She's looking at you through the open window, looking simultaneously bored and smug. Part of you wants to refuse, tell her to fuck off and leave you alone. But she doesn't seem to be pitying you, just genuinely asking if you want a ride home.
So, instead of ignoring her and walking to your trailer, you get in the damn car. Its not like she doesn't already know where you live.
Natalie doesn't say anything as she puts the car back into gear and starts driving. You're grateful for that, not exactly wanting to make small talk with her. She wasn't exactly the type that you'd normally hang around. Too rough around the edges, has too much of a reputation. Your friends wouldn't approve.
Nirvana is playing over the car's shitty speakers, and it's so typical of Natalie. You barely know the girl, yet you couldn't have guessed her music choices with more accuracy.
She's pulling up next to your trailer, and she looks over at you as you get out of the car.
"From now on, I'll drive you home." Natalie leaves no room for arguing, and you're not sure that you want to. Sure, she's not exactly someone you'd choose to spend a lot of time with. But she's not terrible, and driving home with Natalie definitely beats walking home by yourself.
You just give her a nod in response, not exactly sure how to react to a statement like that. And she wasn't exactly giving you an opportunity to say no.
Nat drives off, down the street to her own trailer, and you walk into yours.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A month of soccer practice and rides home with Nat after, and the two of you are actually starting to become friends. The first two weeks, neither of you spoke, opting to just listen to whatever was on the radio. That is, until you finally got bored and started talking to her around the third week. Nothing crazy, just stuff about the team.
At this point, though, you've started talking about yourselves. What you like to do, how you feel about certain people. Nat's funny, and sarcastic, and honestly just someone you really like being around.
"Jackie's been driving me crazy this week. I get that our first game is on Saturday, but come on. It's not like I'm slacking off on purpose." She doesn't seem genuinely pissed off, just a bit annoyed. You have noticed that Jackie puts more pressure on Nat than almost anyone else on the team.
"Did you do something to piss her off?" you ask, looking at Nat as she drives.
"I mean, I showed up to homeroom high on Tuesday. But that doesn't mean I'm slacking at practice."
"I mean, I guess I can see why that would piss her off. It is kind of unwarranted, though. You've been practicing just as hard as everyone else."
She nods at that, and you fall into another comfortable silence for a few little while.
"Speaking of being high..." Natalie trails off, and you get a little giddy, although you don't show it. You'd been hoping that she would want to hang out outside of your car rides.
When you give her a little nod, she grins, looking triumphant. Clearly, she wanted to be around you just as much as you wanted to be around her.
Instead of dropping you off at your trailer like usual, she brings you to hers.
"My mom's probably asleep or staring at the TV, so we won't have to worry about her." Natalie gets out of the car, gesturing for you to join her. She doesn't say anything about her dad, and you know why, even if no she hasn't told you. It was hard to avoid the rumors, how people would look at her sometimes.
Honestly, it didn't matter to you if the rumors were true or not. Natalie wasn't the sort of person to resort to violence without good reason. And from what you heard, she would've had a very good reason.
You climb out of the car and follow her through the trailer, into her bedroom. It's so Nat, with posters all over the walls, stacks of CD's on her desk and on the floor. A beat-up acoustic guitar sits in the corner, and you make a mental note of it. Clothes are in piles all over the floor, but you honestly couldn't care less about the state of her room. It felt good, to be somewhere lived in. To be around someone that understood your living situation
Natalie sits down on the edge of her bed, smiling at you. The gesture was enough to make you feel a bit more comfortable, and you found yourself sitting down next to her.
"Have you smoked before?" She pulls out an old Altoids container, opening it up to pull out one of the pre-rolled joints inside.
You shake your head no, pulling your legs up on the bed so you can sit more comfortably.
"No. Well, once I took a hit from some guy at a party, but it was shit and I couldn't stop choking."
Nat laughs at that, lighting up the blunt as the two of you talk.
"That's probably because you just took a hit and had no idea what you were doing. Watch what I do." She makes sure that you're looking at her before inhaling the smoke from the blunt, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling. "You're gonna want to cough your first couple of hits. That's normal."
She held the joint out to you, and when you took it, your fingers brushed together. The contact you feel weird, but you chalked it up to the nerves of smoking weed for the first time. This kind of thing wasn't normally something that you'd do.
Tentatively, you brought the blunt to your lips and took a hit. The smoke burned your throat as you inhaled, but you managed to keep from coughing. Nat grins as she notices you holding back a cough, and she holds her hand out for the joint.
You pass it back to her, this time trying to keep your hands from touching. Natalie takes another hit, longer this time, and part of you wants to just stare at her.
As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you immediately snap out of it. You don't want to stare at her, she's your friend. People don't stare at their friends. Get a grip.
Nat holds on to the joint for a little longer this time, taking a couple more hits before she offers it back to you. This time, you get a bit bolder, taking a deeper pull. It takes you a little more effort to keep from coughing, but you manage it.
The two of you stay like that a while, passing the joint back and forth between each other, just enjoying the fuzzy feeling of being high, and enjoying each other's company. At some point, Nat puts a record on, something grungy that you recognize, but don't remember the name of.
You're lying flat on your back in the middle of the floor, and Nat looks down at you, clearly holding back a laugh.
"You doin' okay?" She lightly kicks your shoulder, trying to get you to have some sort of reaction. You nod in response, completely zoned out. The floor just feels so nice.
She looks good, you think. Something about the way she was a bit messy was so beautiful for her. You chalk these thoughts up to the weed, to never really being friends with someone that looks like Nat.
"Can you talk?" Nat's full-on laughing now, obviously finding your position hilarious.
"Do you want me to?"
"Just seeing if you could."
You're not egregiously high or anything, a nice buzz, really. Part of you knows that you should probably go home soon, make sure your dad isn't wondering where you are.
There's just something comforting about Nat's bedroom, about being around someone in the same situation as you. There's no judgement, no fear.
You do end up leaving, eventually. Once your eyes are no longer red and the smell of weed has mostly dissipated. Nat walks you to your trailer, claiming that she's better at defending herself. You don't have it in you to argue. Plus, it's nice that she still wants to spend time with you.
She walks you up to the door, and the two of you stand there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for the other to say something.
"See you tomorrow?" Nat almost looks nervous, like you're going to say no for some reason.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow." With that, you smile and walk inside.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been a few weeks since you first smoked with Natalie, and it had become a routine for the two of you. Go to practice, drive to Nat's trailer, and light up.
You should've known your friends would notice at some point.
"How's soccer, y/n?" one of your friends stares pointedly at you, like she knows something. Something you don't even know.
"Oh, it's going really well! The girls on the team are all so nice, and we all play really well together." You stay as natural as possible, trying to gauge what's happening.
"That's sweet," she remarks, in a tone you know means she thinks it's anything but sweet.
"You've been hanging out with the slut a lot recently," another girl chimes in, "Is there something that you wanted to tell us?"
You nearly choke on your water when she says that, and you're sure that you must have misheard her.
"Who?" It takes a moment to compose yourself, looking over at your friend.
"You know who I'm talking about. The burnout? The slut?" When you still look confused, she rolls her eyes, h8uffing at your obliviousness. "Natalie Scatorccio? Pretty sure she's fucked half the school. And it isn't entirely the male half."
Now it's your turn to roll your eyes, but you don't say anything to defend Nat. You know that you should, that she's your friend. But fighting with these girls could cause them to turn on you. And you were hiding too many things for that to happen.
For some reason, your friends don't push further. Why, you're not sure. But you sure aren't going to push it.
Everyone goes back to talking about other things, boyfriends, movies, music. You aren't interested, though. You're too busy thinking about what your friend said. About Nat not just sleeping with guys. Was she gay? She hadn't said anything to you.
Did that mean you had a chance?
Wait. You didn't want a chance with her. You weren't into girls. That was weird. It didn't matter that you felt at home with her, or liked the way she'd laugh at your shitty jokes, or talk about her favorite musicians for hours. You weren't into girls. You weren't into Nat.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Practice was weird. You kept fucking up, which wasn't at all normal for you. Coach Scott even started yelling at you, which was a blow.
It got so bad that Coach Martinez kept you after practice to run laps, and you expected that Nat would have left by the time you finished. Instead, you found her waiting by her car, looking concerned.
"Hey, are you okay? You seemed really out of it today," she asks, clearly worried about you.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. My friends just said some shit at lunch today, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
"What did they say?" And she looks so upset that you want to tell her, but you just can't. You don't want her to confirm that she's gay, but for some reason, you don't want her to tell you she isn't, either.
"Just being assholes. Honestly, I don't know why I'm friends with them. I don't like them very much. Or at all."
Natalie laughs at that, and you feel a little bit better.
"You could, I don't know, not be friends with them anymore?"
"I mean, I could. But you're my only friend besides them. Plus, if I piss 'em off too bad, they'll make my life hell. Not taking that chance."
Nat nods, seemingly understanding.
"Would just hanging out with me all the time really be that bad?" She's obviously joking, but you can't help but imagine, just being around Natalie all the time. Smoking, listening to music, making out-
Wait, what?
There's no way, right? No way that you want to kiss a girl, let alone Nat. Let alone make out with her. You're straight. Always had been, always will be. You were normal. You liked boys. Not girls. Didn't matter how pretty Natalie was. Kissing her was weird. And wrong.
You laugh, trying to shake that image from your head. One person says that Nat may be gay, and all of a sudden you're losing your mind. You aren't gay.
"No, It wouldn't be that bad. Could be kinda fun."
Your mood has lifted significantly from just being in the car with Nat, and you think about what could happen if you just... ditched your friends.
Today is one of the rare days where your dad is home in time for dinner, so Nat drops you off at your own trailer today.
"If they're dicks again, tell me. I'll kick their asses." She's grinning at you, and you stare at her for a moment before it hits you.
You're in love with her. Absolutely whipped. And there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.
Instead of a response, you give a tight-lipped smile before basically sprinting into your trailer.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Going to school the next day might be the most difficult thing that you've ever done. Even more difficult than pretending everything was normal over dinner with your dad the night before.
At least today, your dad could take you to school, and you didn't have to face Nat. And you didn't have practice that afternoon, so you really didn't have to see her much. Which was ideal. You didn't know how you'd be able to deal with being around her. Especially being alone with her.
Your morning is uneventful, and for once, your friends are actually a good distraction. Talking about new movies, new music, being generally entertaining instead of annoying.
Unfortunately, Nat is still driving you home. And there's nothing you can do to avoid it, unless you want to walk. Which you definitely don't.
You're quiet the whole ride, and you know Natalie can tell that something's off. The good thing about Nat, though, is that she wouldn't push. She had her own secrets, and she didn't expect you to share yours.
"D'you want to smoke?" You want to say yes so badly, to just spend as much time with her as possible. Yet there's this fear that the weed will make you spill your secret, and you just can't do that.
You weren't supposed to like her. You weren't supposed to want her. And there was no way in hell she was ever going to know that you did. Never.
"Can't. I have to study." It's a bad lie, and you know it. Nat does, too. But she doesn't call you on it, even though you can tell that she wants to.
"Yeah, alright. See you, then." By now, you've pulled up to your trailer, and you thank her before getting out of the car. It almost hurt to leave her. There was just no conceivable way that you'd be able to act normal around her, especially if you were high.
As soon as you're in your room, you just lose it. You don't get how one girl can have you undone so quickly, but somehow Nat did it. And you hated it. You weren't supposed to want her like that. It was wrong.
Pulling your blanket up to your shoulders, you just cry. You have no idea how to deal with this, how to make yourself normal again. What would people think? What would your friends think? What would your dad think?
What would Nat think? Would she think you were weird for liking girls? Would she judge you? Would she be grossed out that you were into her, of all people?
Of course, there was the high possibility that she was queer. Sure, she hadn't said anything explicit, but there was a vibe about her. Not to mention all the rumors.
Despite the comfort of Natalie potentially being gay, you couldn't keep from crying. You knew mascara was staining your pillow, but you couldn't quite care.
The rest of the night was spent crying, until you eventually cry yourself to sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks.
Two weeks of pretending that you weren't in love with Nat, two weeks of pretending you weren't gay, two weeks of struggling by yourself.
You couldn't tell anyone, and it was absolutely killing you.
Sure, you thought about telling Van. You noticed the way that she looked at Taissa. But telling someone made it real. Telling someone solidified the abnormality of you.
So, you kept it to yourself. Sure, it was torture. But at least it was safe.
Nat was still driving you too and from school, and you had gotten the courage to smoke with her again. Things were almost normal, despite you knowing that they weren't.
Today was different, though. And you could feel it.
The weird part was that the difference wasn't with Nat. The ride to school was the same as always. Both of you quiet, still waking up.
No, the weird part was your friends. As soon as you got to school, you could tell that something was off with them. Everyone was giving you weird looks, and they were all barely talking to you. It scared you, the thought of them finding out your secret.
Turns out that they did figure your secret out. Just not the one that you thought.
"Surprised you can afford food," one girl says as you sit down at your usual lunch table.
"What?" You're confused. Why would they think that you can't afford to eat?
"You know, it's just that usually people with your... financial status... get free lunch. That doesn't look like free lunch." She smiles, a sickly sweet sort of look that makes your stomach drop.
You're silent, not exactly knowing what to say in this situation.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed! It's not your fault that you're trailer trash," another girl chimes in, that same fake kind look on her face.
It takes so much strength to keep from completely breaking down, knowing that if you did, they'd just get worse.
"Is that why you never want to go shopping with us?" A different voice is added to the mix, and you hate that they have this kind of power over you.
They keep berating you, insulting your trailer, your clothes, your lack of a car. Even your looks get commented on, and you hate it more than anything.
How they even found out where you lived was a mystery to you. You were so careful, and Nat would never tell them. She knew how badly you wanted to keep your living situation under wraps.
Eventually, lunch does end, but you don't go to class. There's absolutely no way that you could face anyone. Not your now ex-friends, and absolutely not Natalie.
Instead, you hide in the bathroom, spending the remaining two class periods locked in a stall. You know that you'll have to see Nat when she drives you home, but being alone for an hour and a half will hopefully give you enough time to calm down before you have to see her.
You cry. Of course you cry. Your life is falling down around you, and you're sitting in a bathroom stall. There's nothing to do but cry. You cry over your friends being horrible, you cry about the trailer you're living in, you cry about leaving your old friends behind to move. Mostly, though, you cry about being in love with a girl.
It's midway through last period when you pull yourself together, and by the time your face is back to its normal color, you've got ten minutes to get looking like yourself.
It doesn't take long to fix your makeup, and by the time the final bell rings, you look normal. Nat won't be able to tell that you were crying in the bathroom for half the day.
When you walk out to her car, Nat's waiting for you. As soon as she sees you coming, it's like she knows that something's wrong. She doesn't say anything, but she changes the music to something that she knows you like, which is her equivalent to giving you a hug.
While you appreciate the gesture, it just makes you lose it all over again. You're in the passenger seat of Nat's car, sobbing for the second time today.
"Shit, are you okay? What's wrong?" She glances over at you, still driving. "Do you need me to pull over?"
You shake your head in response, urging her to keep driving. It's impossible for you to get words out through your tears, and Nat doesn't try to get you to talk anymore. Instead, she drives you to your trailer and walks you inside.
Natalie leads you to to your bedroom, sitting you on your bed. For the first time in your friendship, she wraps her arms around you and gives you a real hug.
The contact doesn't keep you from crying, in fact it almost makes it worse. But you feel safe in her arms, like the words from your former friends can't touch you here. You have the vague thought that your mascara is staining Natalie's shirt, but she doesn't seem to care.
Both of you stay like that until you stop crying, Nat holding onto you like you're the only thing in the world that matters. Its uncharacteristically soft for her, and it feels special. Like you're someone she trusts with softness.
When you're finally calm enough, you pull away from her and start to explain what happened. Her arm stays around your waist, and you don't attempt to move it.
"My- my friends, they, uh, they found out... where I live." You're stuttering and tripping over what you're saying, and luckily Nat gets it from just those words.
"And they were asses about it?" she asks, and you nod. Her grip on your waist tightens, and she looks pissed.
"You don't deserve that shit. It's not like you can control where you live. Not to mention you're twice the person any of those girls will ever be." Nat somehow pulls you closer, and you feel such a strange mix of emotions.
"That- isn't everything." Maybe it's the contact, maybe it's how sweet she's being right now. Maybe you're just sick of hiding.
"What else?"
"I think I'm gay." The words come out in a rush, and you're not sure Natalie even understood what you were saying. That is, until she responds.
"Why do you think that?" Her response isn't at all judgmental, and you feel a little better saying your next words.
"I like a girl."
Natalie laughs, and for a moment, you internally freak out. Is this where the judgment comes in?
"Yeah, I guess that'll do it."
You can't help but laugh at her answer, and everything feels so much better. As much as you're grateful that she's not asking who the girl is, you almost want to tell her that it's her. Almost.
"I thought you might hate me."
"For being gay? You know I'm bi, right? Bisexual?"
The confirmation doesn't exactly shock you, but it's still a bit of a surprise. How easily she says it.
"I didn't. Know that."
"Surprise, I guess. I'm queer too."
"Did you... feel weird about it? Like when you first... figured it out, I guess."
She nods, and you feel a sense of relief. That you weren't the only one who found your own queerness a bit jarring.
Natalie doesn't try to reassure you that you're normal, that there's nothing wrong with you. She knows it's not going to make anything better immediately.
You sit in comfortable silence for a while, just decompressing from the insanity of your day. That is, until you speak up.
"I can't believe I told you that." The panic had started to set in at this point, and you regretted saying anything to Nat.
"It's not like I'm going to tell anyone, dude."
"Yeah." That makes you feel a bit better, although you're still freaking out a bit. You look up at her, giving a small smile, and there's a look on her face that you can't exactly put your finger on.
For some reason, neither of you seem to be able to look away from the other. It's almost as if you're in a trance, or like someone put a spell on you.
Suddenly, the two of you were kissing. It happened so quickly that neither of you could say who initiated the kiss, but neither of you pulled a way.
Nat's lips were chapped, and a bit rough against your own. Despite that, the kiss was soft. Something you didn't exactly expect from Natalie. One of her hands is still on your hip, and the other moves to run through your hair. Your own hands cup her cheeks, feeling her soft, pale skin under your fingers.
Every thought of how wrong loving Natalie is leaves your head. It's like she's kissing away all of your fears, and you're so grateful to her.
Eventually, you break apart so you can take a breath, and Natalie looks so beautiful. Somehow even better than she normally does.
"So, the girl you like..?" Natalie's smirking, and she clearly knows that you were talking about her.
In lieu of a response, you roll your eyes and flip her off. She laughs, clearly enjoying fucking with you. You aren't annoyed, not really. You're too giddy for that.
Nat pulls you down onto your bed so that you're lying down next to each other, and you feel so content in that moment.
"You know those girls are the worst, right?" You can tell that Nat is both trying to make you laugh and being completely genuine.
"Yeah."
"Good. You deserve to be treated better than that."
You nod and press a quick kiss to her lips, as if to say "thank you." She grins, pulling you into her side.
"Feeling like smoking now?"
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets showtime#natalie scatorccio#natalie x reader#teen natalie#natalie scatorccio x reader#nat scatorccio#nat scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x you#nat scatorccio x you#natalie yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
Agreeing entirely. As disappointed as I am in McBride, I absolutely understand how she got here. On the one hand, she's been pursuing the angle of "the extreme position is the Republican one, and they're pursuing it at the expense of doing anything useful," and on the other hand she's been trying very hard to avoid being pigeonholed as "the trans representative." She made the call that raising a high-profile fight over this would be detrimental to both of those aims. Ultimately, she's probably at least somewhat correct on that, though I disagree that those are the only things at stake.
But yeah. The biggest thing that could have changed that calculus is WIDESPREAD SUPPORT FROM HER PARTY. Instead, we got
Loud statements of support and critique of the bathroom rule from AOC, Maxwell Frost, and Becca Balint (only one of which actually ended up with any real media attention).
Halfhearted "you can use the bathroom in my office"-type responses from a handful of Schrodinger's progressive types (looking at you, Fetterman)
Utter silence from the rest of the party (with the occasional compliments for McBride's "graceful handling" of the situation)
I hope I'm wrong. I hope there's something I missed here, and that we're not looking at literally only three reps saying or doing anything about this, but that's what I could find, and it's where the real disgrace and anger about this should be.
Yay I'm going to get all Political and angry again.
So pretty much every trans American is probably aware of the Sarah McBride situation at this point, but here's the bullet point summary if needed for anyone else:
Sarah McBride gets elected to the House as the first transgender member of Congress in US history.
Republicans predictably flip their shit. They pass internal rules of conduct that prohibit trans people from using bathrooms of their gender and stating that bathroom use is defined by AGAB. It obviously singles out McBride, but I believe there are trans staffers that are also affected.
McBride issues a statement that she will abide by these rules, and pretty much only use the bathroom directly associated with her physical office. She issues a statement saying she "wasn't elected for bathrooms" and will instead fight in issues that matter, with a milquetoast criticism of Republicans for wasting time on this.
Many trans Americans are predictably scared and disappointed by this, especially because this internal house rule is being used as a blueprint for more extensive laws, including a likely ban on trans people in gendered bathrooms in all federal land and buildings (including, notably for me, national parks. Which breaks my heart, but that's a different rant.)
There's been a lot of disappointment and criticism of McBride over this. The general leftist reaction has been criticism. There's lots of people that have expressed disappointment or rage, including Erin Reed, and also more "personality" type people like Vaush and Jessie Gender.
Now.
I'm disappointed too.
But. And please keep reading before chewing me out for being an apologist.
I think we can all understand that McBride is in an impossible situation. If she fights this too hard, then it vindicates the Republican rhetoric that Dems are crazy trans obsessed leftists. But there's a fear that this will only lead to more infringements of rights for trans people. McBride is completely stuck, and is a junior, freshly elected member of Congress who is trying to figure out how to make her voice the most effective.
I am so, so fucking tired of rights being ceded one by one. So I'm disappointed. But yeah, I understand McBride's statement.
But there's just one tiny. Eeny weeny. Minor. Itty Bitty question having over all of this. Just one little concern.
Where.
The fuck.
Are the rest of the Democrats?!?!?!?
There is a PAINFULLY fucking easy solution to all of this. McBride needs backing, solidarity, and other people to speak for her. If she's worried about her voice being effective, and being branded as the crazy trans representative, then step the fucking up, you spineless liberal slimebags.
AOC is the only one that I know of that has expressed any real opposition or anger. Her statements are getting aaallll the airtime.
But the real story is McBride's sentiment being echoed amongst the entire party. This is absolutely some kind of official platform. The fucking grumbling, milquetoast finger waving and "well I don't like this, but there's nothing to be done! Anyways"
Of fucking course minorites are abandoning the left. The message they're sending is "we'll abandon you with the most pathetic of excuses. We don't give a shit." Trimming groups out of their support one by one.
McBride is doing the impossible calculus of trying to be the most effective on the house floor. It's an insane task for a trans woman. And yeah, she got it wrong this time. But where the fuck is the anger for her cis colleagues? Why the fuck aren't people angry and terrified for everyone that let this shit happen?
As much as people love the narrative of the line wolf resistor, resistance takes coordination, effort, and solidarity. Without that, what would McBride raising opposition even be? One representative against the hundreds of others.
And yeah, of course I didn't expect any better from the Democratic party. But you should be disappointed and mad at your representative, not just McBride.
682 notes
·
View notes
Note
I actually caught you when your asks are open this is spectacular
I know you write for Plastic Man, but I don't know about Negative Man? Larry Trainor, comics or show. So you can do this with either one you want.
Male reader who's similar to the invisible man – Not criminal, maybe backstory, but at least was a scientist who turned himslef invisible but a tad more realistic, blind but in the more Matt Murdock way, or just blind, I don't mind either. Hcs or anything else of any kind, but hcs would probably be easier.
I alao don't mind if it's ftm reader or the explicitly of it!! So sorry if this is all over the place. I didn't want it to be long😞
Lawrence “Larry” Trainor x Male reader
Headcanons
I don’t actually know a lot about Larry, so this is based off the wiki. The reader is also somewhat based off the 1933 movie The Invisible Man but with my own spin, since I wasn’t sure what else you might have been referring too, hehe. I hope my lack of knowledge still makes this good to read.
I got major Morticia and Gomez vibes from these two as i wrote.
You were no superhero, nor were you a villain. You were just a man who flew too close to the sun and got burnt on the way to discovery. The sun had so much to give, something you knew so many years ago before Superman appeared, and you learned his power source was the sun.
You barely kept track of when you were born nowadays, there was no need too. From what little you could gather, you didn’t age, you didn’t hunger or thirst, you didn’t even need to sleep. But you knew you had been around before radioactivity was discovered.
You had been around before the major superheroes became a thing, it wasn’t something that interested you a lot. There were a couple you knew, like Alan Scott, and Jay Garrick, you had even met wonder woman once or twice. But you were no hero.
So, it was no shocker that you didn’t know about this so-called doom patrol. How would you. Its not like you owned a tv, and you didn’t care much for the news stations on the radio nowadays. It was all ads and dramatic sound effects.
You were never sure what to call yourself. Alan used to call you a scientist, and Jay did too even though he hadn’t visited in a long time, at least it felt like a long time. But you had heard he got married and had kids, so of course that was more important. You still sent them both holiday cards though.
As a scientist you had studied radioactivity before it was discovered by anyone else. You had always had a habit of being consumed by your work, so when you climbed out of your pit of research, someone else had already claimed the discovery.
It didn’t matter though, as what interested you was the sun and the power you just knew it stored. Of course, it didn’t end well. Going invisible, blind, deaf, and losing pretty much every other sense hadn’t been on your list of predictions. But that’s what happened.
You could still see, hear, smell, and so on… in your own way. It was impossible to explain, but you didn’t truly exist the same way everyone else seemed to do. The radioactivity from the sun had given you other powers too.
But those powers weren’t used a lot. Why would you need to fly, or phase through things, or channel the power of the sun to blast somebody. You were anti-military and anti-government, that’s why they never supported your research and buried your existence from the history books, so you weren’t gonna fight.
When you finally learned about this so-called doom patrol you almost felt a little bashful, or could you say miffed? It was like one of them had stolen your entire look. Well, most of it anyways.
You were both wrapped from head to toe in bandages, though his seemed much thicker and sturdier than yours, like they were inlaid with something. And his clothing were more modern, and looked more practical.
What could you say, you were a sucker for the fashion you grew up with. So, what if your clothing, furniture and everything about you screamed Victorian era. Some of the younglings Jay brought along when he visited said you looked very “antique” and that “old stuff is in”.
You also didn’t wear shades like Mr. negative, Larry, you later learned, did. You were blind as a bat and had no physical eyes anyways, so why wear shades in the first place?
It was hard to explain how your body worked, it had the form of a human when you wrapped it, but it also… didn’t exist. You always just blamed it on the undiscovered art of radioactivity and science so advanced the world hadn’t gotten there yet.
It did look slightly entertaining to see you in your Victorian era dressing robe, in a pair of your best slippers with a glass of brandy you couldn’t really taste, beside Larry, who had very clearly seen better days.
Both being wrapped in bandages created a kind of comradery between you two in the beginning. Lary had thought maybe you were like him, especially when you explained how you got where you were, since his accident was based around radioactivity too.
Only for you to shock him, but unwrapping your head and revealing… nothing. Literally nothing. You even grabbed his hand and brought it to where your head would be, only for it to pass through it like nothing.
Your body seemed present when you wrapped it, a phenomenon you were still studying to this day. Right now, your results were pointing in the direction of it being mental, but who truly knew at the end of the day.
Larry hadn’t been willing to remove his own bandages for very obvious reasons, no matter how many times you told him it wouldn’t hurt you, and that it wouldn’t matter. You were raised too well to make any demands.
Instead, you pulled out your very old photo album and walked him through your family, happily pointing out pictures of yourself and how you looked, only scowling a little as he laughed at your hairstyle and outfits of the time.
In the end you touched him by accident. There was some accident in your lab that tore some of the bandages on his hand, and without a second thought you took his hand and wrapped it again. Obviously, nothing happened to you, you didn’t have a body that could be hurt, but it was still a shock for Larry.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Larry was as touch starved as he was. Not having any human contact for so long would drive anybody mad, except you that is, but you also were convinced that that was some mental result of your accident.
So, you didn’t turn him away when Larry would start appearing in your giant Victorian era mansion, far out in the mountains, so far away from anything that whatever radioactivity you worked on wouldn’t reach.
You also didn’t mind that Larry started searching you out for contact. He started small, just sitting closer to you as you had tea together, where it evolved to sitting up against you as you went through your papers, to Larry going as far as laying his bandaged head in your lap as you read aloud from one of your many books.
Larry was so sweet, in his own hesitant way. He even let you study how his own powers worked, but to no surprise you two didn’t reach a certain result, but neither of you had expected that.
Hell, Larry even got more comfortable going around in public, as you would hook your arms together and almost strut along, as if the wide eyed and sometimes hateful stares didn’t touch you.
That was also how you finally met the justice league. The only one that interested you was Superman, and he wouldn’t let you study him as much as you wanted. Your extreme studies of the sun at least caught Batman’s interest, enough for you two to have very long difficult conversations about science. You later learned you reminded him of his butler, which you took as a compliment since he was spoken so highly of.
The doom patrol wasn’t your favorite, you didn’t trust that Chief guy, and rightfully so. But who were you to tell Larry who he could and couldn’t forgive, you just made it very clear you weren’t gonna help that guy.
In the end, the relationship you two shared was strange, but soft in ways that was hard to put into words. Your first kiss took months to happen, as you didn’t have lips when you unwrapped your bandages, and Larry needed so long to grow comfortable to pull his off.
Holding hands, or tapping your foot against each other’s became how you expressed love. That, or giving gifts. You made place in your giant mansion for his many gifts, wanting to show them all off.
And Larry? Larry got a whole new wardrobe as well as many other trinkets he might need. You even dove head first into the tools and armor market, wanting to give Larry something to keep him safe. You couldn’t have cared less about the rest of his team, they weren’t really your friends, just Larry.
Those items might have gotten your usual Victorian flare to them too, even if they were sleek and modern in their abilities and storage. It was a bit like your way of marking Larry as yours.
It was still difficult for Larry to feel safe without his bandages in your mansion, not just because of how dangerous it was, but also because he found himself so hideous. You didn’t find him ugly, not at all. You also knew it would take Larry a long time to believe you, so you didn’t force him to accept it, just left the opportunity open.
You two made a strange but surprisingly strong couple, when you finally visited the outside world. Those few times were either to have tea with Batman’s very smart butler, or to blast somebody with the power of the sun for hurting your dear love. No matter what though, you always left an impression, not that you cared. All you cared about was leaving one with Larry.
#larry trainor#lawrence “larry” trainor#negative man#doom patrol#dc#justice league#larry trainor x male reader#larry trainor x reader#larry trainor imagine#larry trainor headcanon#negative man x male reader#negative man x reader#negative man headcanon#negative man imagine#doom patrol x male reader#doom patrol x reader#doom patrol headcanon#doom patrol imagine#dc x male reader#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc headcanon#justice league x male reader#justice league headcanon#justice league imagine#justice league x reader#invisible reader#larry and his 100? 200? 300? year old rich husband#they are like morticia and gomez
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
I gotta ask as I’ve just recently read some of HungryHero and I gotta say the writing is fantastic. As a writer myself I want to ask what gave you the idea to write the story to begin with? If someone hasn’t asked already of course
I’m glad you enjoyed it! I really do enjoy writing for that au (as difficult as it might me).
The main thing for HH— and any au I have— is derived from personal trauma or stressful parts in my life, along with just general curiosity or interest. I use my stories more as a form of a coping mechanism. Also, I just use it to have fun with any idea that comes across my head.
The idea for HungryHero initially came after an extreme change in my life, which made me very upset and angry and I needed an outlet. This was at the time where Sonic.exe became popular again, so I also wanted to make a fairly edgy AU (inadvertently originally making him an exe).
The idea that initially kickstarted the whole “cannibalistic Sonic” idea came from a small web comic We Need to Talk About Tails. Eventually morphing into the original version of HungryHero.
After the first act was completed, I took a small break, eventually coming back to it and realizing exactly how dark, edgy, and out of character it was, so I completely rewrote it to be more in line with how the characters would act in each situation. While my AU’s are often mostly not cannon, I still like to keep them at least somewhat consistent to their cannon counterparts, it makes things a lot more interesting.
Sonic does still get mischaracterized in HungryHero as some crazy murder cannibal (fair, he was like that for a while). But more recently he’s been written with the thought “what would happen if Sonic began craving flesh?” Knowing how Sonic usually acts, and adding a little bit more emotion in order to sympathize with him better
I still get shit on for HH because it’s my most popular AU. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s not SUPPOSED to be cannon, so they shit on certain plot points and facts (that are often outdated). If they just hate him because I made him trans. As if that’s even the main focus of the damn story.
Even with the struggles, I still love this AU to death, and I hope I can continue it for everyone who’s been waiting.
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Euphemia and James - Writer's Notes
Earlier this year I wrote a fic titled "Euphemia and James," a story exploring Euphemia Potter and infertility. This is the most deeply personal story I've ever written, and it took a few weeks to write it because of the emotions it stirred up for me, but honestly, being able to write this took years of processing emotions. I decided to share some of my notes on this fic in this post, and it includes this lovely cover image from @livelaughlovetoread. This story is also unique in that it's written in second person POV. It wasn't intended to come out that way, but that's how it came out. See below the image for my notes:
Euphemia and James came from these lines from the extra-canonical writings on Pottermore/whatever they call it these days:
"[Fleamont] sold the company at a vast profit when he retired, but no amount of riches could compensate him or his wife Euphemia for their childlessness. They had quite given up hope of a son or daughter when, to their shock and surprise, Euphemia found that she was pregnant and their beloved boy, James, was born."
If you don't know anything about infertility, I envy you somewhat. Studies have shown that a diagnosis or experience of infertility is similar to receiving a cancer diagnosis or losing a close loved one. It took me a while to realize that a lot of the feelings I had surrounding infertility was actually grief and mourning.
So, I put it all into this fic. There are a few points I want to highlight, if you decide to read the fic or want to see some lines, and my feelings around it all:
"When you meet Fleamont Potter a year into your job at the apothecary, you have no intention of marrying him."
I more or less shamelessly wrote Euphemia and Fleamont's relationship to be similar to mine with Mr C. In fact, Mr C aka @rawr-gorg-smash read this work and we were both sobbing messes by the end of it.
"It will happen when it happens, they say. It will come when you least expect it, they say. That’s what everyone says, and you’re ready to punch the next person in the face who tells you to just “relax.”"
Infertile people will get advice like this frequently. It's meant to be helpful or sometimes soothing, I think, but all too often it's an empty hope. Sometimes, bodies just don't work right, no matter how much relaxing you do.
"It’s not polite to ask. Everyone knows where magical, adopted children come from. They are Muggleborn children who are delicately extracted from their birth homes and replaced with Squibs, or sometimes not replaced at all."
This part is world building by me - the idea of adoption in a magical world seemed odd to me. How would infertile magical couples adopt if they can't use potions or charms? I wouldn't put it past them to just take a Muggleborn child, modify memories, and go. I won't touch on real world adoption-there's a lot to unpack there-but this idea gave me some thoughts on magical adoption.
"It seems selfish to want more, when you already have so much. You question, for the first time in your life, if you really want a child."
I have heard people say things to this effect: it's so selfish to want your 'own' children or to want children and bring them into this world, or some variation of that. If this is what you believe, you and I are going to disagree and I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. But it's something I and many other infertile people have considered. The thing is, people have had children and will continue to have children throughout terrible periods of time. Does it make sense? Not necessarily. Human actions don't always make sense. To me, though, it speaks of hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, for a world that we will build that will be better for the next generation.
"Now you wish for a living child. There are no longer any expectations on your baby or the kind of person they’ll be. You want a living, breathing baby in your arms you can dote on, educate, feed, and guide through life."
I'll say that one of the few silver linings of infertility for me has been re-grounding my expectations of what kind of child I might have. It once was wishing for a boy or girl, or a kid who likes to read, or a kid who won't be into extreme sports, but now it's just a kid I want. I want to love them because they exist. That's all.
"It’s a shame that you only got nineteen years with your son, the one you wished had been born twenty years prior, so you could treasure twice as long with him."
One of my fears for having children later in life is not having enough time with them. Then again, young parents die. Even children die. If nothing else, whatever time I do have, I hope I use it to love whatever family I have to the fullest.
That's all I have for now. If you made it this far, read the fic, commented on it, left kudos, or a bookmark, thank you very kindly for your time. Of all the things I've written, this felt most like putting a piece of my heart into the world.
#euphemia potter#fleamont potter#james potter#euphemia x fleamont#cw infertility#infertility#cw pregnancy#pregnancy
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
(i appreciate the /gen i hope i'm not being rude either)
you're 100% right about the s1 aspects of jayce and viktor you mentioned; they built hextech to bring magic to people and to SAVE people, to save those who were least fortunate (and they both seemed to agree the people of the undercity deserved this, even if jayce was naive about it and viktor wasn't).
buuut... even in season 1 they both starting using hextech for other purposes; jayce to fight (in the factories with vi) and viktor to modify living things (creating the hexcore). both of their goals were still pretty noble (bringing down silco's shimmer trade, healing a disease which (supposedly) more people in the undercity had) but they also became more more focused on themselves, and especially on themselves as individuals instead of working together. so even in season one their arcs were starting to be about being pulled in by the arcane, and by its power. am i still somewhat disappointed in how they were both treated in s2? yeah for sure. but i don't think their relationship (in the broadest sense of the word) in s2 being focused on the arcane - magic - came out of nowhere, either.
(also, notes for me being a dummy and not realizing op meant the arcane tag LMAO, that one's my bad 😅 still feel it's quite useless to blame people for momentary hype around something you don't personally feel attached to when they do, but at least i do understand the annoyance about it being on the main tag)
y'all I'm so mad with you Jayvik shippers. I get it, it was gay, I thought they were super fruity in season 1 already as well, but please have a critical thought. their arc in act 3 coopted the ENTIRE story including their storyline (referencing the last post I reblogged here): arcane is about classist oppression, Viktor got to suffer it firsthand as a Zaunite on Topside. this never was about an evil god, or the arcane, Zaun has been in shit since forever as far as I'm concerned. Viktor only started ascending to evil godhood in act 2 of this season. to make him or his delusion out as the real evil that needs to be combatted in order to fix everything is batshit. the villain isn't Viktor or Ambessa or Silco or Mel or Singed or whoever IT'S PILTOVER AS A SYSTEM. and I thought we were all agreeing on this already, but so many of you saw the poor gay Zaunite who just wanted to help turn evil and gobbled it up. Piltover got away without any blame, since Viktor wasn't even one of their people. Besides, I cannot be the only one who thinks that this all is incredibly out of character for Viktor and needed more explanation.
and don't get me wrong, the jayvik scene looked amazing and if my two faves astrally conected through divine bleach and tones while being existential about their relationship I'd also jump, trust me, I've watched she ra. and I can't even say I'd like it to be different, but it is taking up too much importance. it could've been a catalyst to unite Zaun and Piltover through a common cause and get them to work some systematic issues out, it could have been anything but this. none of Piltovers crimes were addressed, Zaun is still in poverty and the only systematic change that happened was one (1) Zaunite being allowed in the council, which really means nothing, because the council decides by vote and there is like seven Topside council members.
I'm very much disappointed by a show who I thought was really in synch with today's systematic issues up until now (and I'm mad at all you jayvik people for clogging up the tag, when there is so much to discuss) and that doesn't even take into account that they made the mentally ill character that most unstable and suicidal people relate to A LOT kill herself??
74 notes
·
View notes
Note
how do u imagine natasha + sampo’s relationship?
I. Feel a little bad for leaving this in my inbox as long as I did, especially since I said in this post I could write a whole essay on them. But then when I tried to actually answer this, I realized ah shit, I can't really articulate what I think of them at all OTL
(so have a bajillion words of meta analysis of them instead fklajklasjf)
Just! Sampo is very mysterious figure, and we know so little of his background and his motivations! So it's really difficult to get a solid read on some of his relationships with other characters. Regardless, I do think that Natasha is perhaps the one he's closest with, and that she is the one person who knows him the most intimately in all of Belobog.
And a lot of it IS hard to pin down because of Sampo's slippery nature, but also because it's like. If you look at just Natasha's dialogues about Sampo, it doesn't really look like much. It only becomes more meaningful when compared to how everyone else talks about him.
Most other characters just comment on what Sampo does, as in his observable actions that are easy to see on the surface or from a distance.
Natasha is one of the very, very few that actually speaks to Sampo's personality or philosophy. Like she not only is able to describe a certain behavior of his, but she's able to explain the why behind it.
At least part of this is probably that they spend so much time together- Hook even comments on it during her companion quest.
And tbh I don't really think it needs more proof or anything with such a flat out statement like that, but this is actually further supported by the fact that Seele is the only other character in Belobog to sorta-kinda comment on Sampo's personality; if Sampo were hanging around the clinic with Natasha all day, Seele would probably be the person he would see second-most there. Of the dialogues posted further up in this post, Hook obviously sees him all the time, but it's not always in the clinic, and besides she's still very young...she wouldn't have the same read on him an adult would. Luka avoids the clinic whenever he can because he's worried about taking up Natasha's valuable time. And the Landau siblings aren't even present in Boulder Town until after the Stellaron is quieted.
Seele, on the other hand, is extremely loyal and devoted to Natasha, and seems to worry about her a lot. She doesn't have the same reservations as Luka, and it would feel right to see her in the clinic frequently, taking orders and missions and trying to make sure Natasha doesn't run herself in the ground. So it would make sense for her to see a lot of Sampo if he's always in there, too, enough that she would have things to say about his personality, whether she likes that or not haha.
Of course we know from Sampo's lines that it's not that he's sick, he's just reporting back to Natasha. Sampo not only smuggles in supplies across the border like what most people know him for, he's also Natasha's source of intel.
Bringing back intel doesn't necessarily have to involve a lot of conversation though, especially because it would make more sense for Sampo to be turning in written reports. It decreases the chance of Natasha mishearing/misunderstanding something or having to rely on memory alone, neither of which are really things you probably want to be doing when bad intel can mean the difference between life and death in her circumstances. So I do really wonder what it is Sampo does in the clinic all day haha. Given that he's a big believer in the power of small talk bringing in big clients, it's entirely possible Sampo is just in there being chatty, happily making conversation and keeping Natasha company most of the time...which is kinda cute. He also really could just be talking shop, too, of course- Sampo does a lot of work for Natasha, and I don't think it'd be a stretch to assume she's his main client. There's probably a lot to discuss about supply quotas, incoming intel, scheduled drops, etc.
My favorite option, though, is actually based on one of Sampo's options from the main quest, where he says:
Because like! The way he says this, the way he specifies that this is his opinion, but no one seems to care what he thinks? And how he calls them stubborn in particular? It really sounds like Sampo has been trying to get Wildfire to operate in a different direction. And if you look up the exact definition of "artless," you get this
which very much fits Sampo, and how he does things. He has guile and deception down to an art form. Sampo goes on to call Wildfire "do-gooders," but then cautions the trailblazer not to underestimate them because of that- indicating that Sampo sees that type of philosophy as something naive, or at least just ineffective. Something that you would underestimate a person for.
And the person Sampo associates with the most in Wildfire, the one he's always seen with, the one who would hold the most sway to change the modus operandi of the organization is...Natasha.
So I wonder if Sampo has been trying, possibly for years now, to get Natasha to see what he thinks of as reason, and start playing dirty to survive. I wonder if that's what he spends so much time in the clinic for, is because he does care, and he wants her and the rest of them to live, and he has been trying to convince her to go with his way of doing things, but Natasha has been refusing him, refusing to compromise her morals.
Because we know from some readables and from the general Vibe, both up on the surface and down below, that things were getting pretty dire. Rivet Town has fallen. The Silvermane Guards are being whittled down and broken. The Fragmentum was right on everyone's doorstep, and I'm sure that if the Astral Express hadn't arrived- and that if Sampo hadn't set the stage so perfectly, if he hadn't played his part just so- then all of Belobog would have eventually been snuffed out. Sampo had to have known it was happening. He must have known the end was upon them.
He doesn't even have a stake in Belobog- he's not from here. He could, assumingly, call it quits and leave when shit got tough by whatever means got him there in the first place.
And I'm sure Sampo wants to save all of Belobog, but I think he's particularly endeared by Natasha. He famously phrases his view of Elation as "true happiness always entails the manifestation of the dignity of mankind." And like. Who else embodies that so much as her?
Maybe it is a little vague and up to interpretation, but I feel like Natasha is FULL of that kind of dignity. She has been doing this since before the blockade. She willingly chose to stay in the Underground where she could do the most good. She has seen so, so much death and you can see how it weighs on her; she's become bitter, and wary, and weary. She has it out for the Guards (understandable), and she openly taunts Gepard and goes right for his throat when he shows up in Boulder Town, ten years too late, trying to help with the Fragmentum.
Natasha even seems to have given up any belief she may have once had. She's completely lost faith in Qlipoth.
All of this, and yet she still chooses to be kind. She still chooses to help people. There is something immensely admirable in all of that.
And I feel like you can see how much Sampo admires her in just how often he thinks of her, especially when someone needs help. Sampo smokebombs everyone and needs to get them somewhere safe in the Underground? He takes them to Natasha. Svarog is about to fucking kill everyone? Go get Natasha. He finds the trailblazer passed out in an alleyway? He carries them to Natasha. The trailblazer is seeing weird shit out in the Fragmentum? Recommend they go get a check up. Specifically from Natasha.
It's a little silly, but I think you can also see some of this when Sampo is being melodramatic about being caught red-handed in the museum event. He echoes a very important sentiment to Natasha and Wildfire;
And the mission where this ideology was displayed strongest was titled, "To Rot or To Burn."
(Hell, in the dream sequence of Penacony- regardless of whether that dream bubble came from Sampo or Sparkle, it had to be informed by Sampo's tales of Belobog. Sparkle has never been there herself. And the kind trashcan that immediately helps you and sets you on the right path, that tries to rally everyone together, the only one with a name so clearly and obviously taken from someone Sampo knew in Belobog? Is Shatana- an anagram of Natasha. Even from a meta perspective, they have the same VA. No other trashcan there gets that treatment. None.)
I think they have the same goals, and even hold some of the same views. Natasha's are much more obvious, but still. Sampo says this about Belobog's circumstances:
And he says this as though it should be obvious common sense. That when things are rough, you share and make sure everyone has enough. I think they both share this belief, it's just that they disagree on how to go about making things even. Natasha believes in rallying people for the cause and giving as much of herself as she can to make up for whatever people lack. Sampo believes that if some dipshit with more money than what they need falls for his bullshit and he gets to spread it around? Well hey, that sounds like a whole lot of their own fault.
Natasha is definitely aware of this, and she has no problem threatening Sampo whenever she thinks he's stepping out of line.
She keeps him on a very short leash, which like. Yeah no that's valid fjkdlsajfdklj
Even so, the way she talks about him, like... Maybe it's just me, and my rose-colored glasses, but she doesn't seem to dislike him nearly as much as she could? She kind of just. Says these things as statements about him, without any real vitriol behind them. This is just kind of how he is. She even seems to have a sense of humor about it.
And again! She has so much more to say about him than almost any other character.
I'd like to think part of her...affection? of sorts? for him is simple camaraderie. Circumstances are dire. Past, present, and future are all bleak. Things like that deepen bonds with your foxhole buddies. Sampo is dependent on Natasha for work and pay and a place to get away from the Guards. Natasha is dependent on Sampo for food and medicine and life-saving supplies. They both heavily rely on each other in this harsh environment, and they have a really nice back-and-forth that I appreciate with how they help each other out by owing favors as payment.
And the other part, I'd like to think actually IS because she knows him very well- maybe not things like his past, but she knows some of his personality and beliefs, and finds them agreeable enough. She even has the audacity to call him a poor liar at one point- Sampo! Of all people! Known by someone well enough to be caught out as a poor liar! He's either intentionally leading her on and letting her think she's caught him, or Natasha just really is that good. Neither would surprise me tbh
I think Natasha is also just uniquely prepared to understand Sampo, and is able to see his better sides without letting her judgement be clouded by his slimy manner. She's able to appreciate that his actions ARE extremely helpful, regardless of how he does them.
Even as she acknowledges that he isn't always trustworthy, she does still choose to rely on him and give him chances. She was pleasantly surprised by him here, but she still chose to trust him with this in the first place. She never treats him harshly, and she never seems to bear any kind of grudge with him.
But my favorite example of Natasha being able to understand Sampo? My favorite is this. This one little throwaway line, that didn't even involve him, wasn't even about him. I feel like Natasha is capable of knowing and understanding Sampo on a deeper level than most people can, solely because of this.
She gets it.
(As a fun bonus: In the current trashcan event, there's a simple mechanic where you get one trial character for the initial battle. Then, for the harder stage, you get that same trial character, plus a couple of extras. This is true for every Proof- except for Sampo's. In his harder stage, you use Asta, Black Swan, and Luocha. But in his initial stage, in an event all about friendship and relationships...)
#honkai star rail#hsr#sampotasha#sampo koski#natasha harrower#hsr sampo#hsr natasha#I don't particularly see them as lovers...but given it's all about their relationship in canon I think it's ok to tag as ship yeah?#if any shippers would like to use this as fuel it would make me so so happy haha#I think their relationship is very difficult to pin down but like. there certainly is. something there.#Maybe...saying I see them as an artist and his muse is most correct?#I'm very sleepy rn and it's past my bedtime. I stayed up late to write this but I don't wanna pick it apart later so let's go!#Off with you! Post now!#I don't think I could articulate in any more if I tried anyway. they make my brain whir but it's like. a wordless whir.#I have a hard time putting words to them fjdkslajfkl#so yeah we'll go with that. an artist and his muse#I hope its. at least somewhat understandable orz#Sorry to the anon that asked this like months ago. I hope you see it somehow.#answer#anon
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is very rushed but MAN I MISSED VOICING THESE TWO!!! Er/aser//mic for the win!
week 1 of December winter themed wavs/content
‼️ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ‼️
CW: Coughing, sneezing (duh), couple nose blows,mention of Christmas/holiday, public humiliation, slightly flirtatious
Summery: H/izashi doing to his weekly radio show during a bad winter storm and a surprise guest appearance happens…and it seems that is not the only surprise of the evening!
#sneeze#snez#audio#sneezy#snezaudio#sneezeaudio#b/nha snz#p/resent m/ic#m/ha#b/nha#e/rasermic#a/izawa#sneeze wav#sneeze kink#and yes I used a line from Genshin becuase I had no only way to describe a storm#hope yall ejoy becuase i had a lot of fun voicing it and isnt that why we do anything we enjoy it....anyway enjoy winter content this month#i hope everyone is happy#healthly and well at least somewhat doing ok! i really care about all of yall#anyway ill shut up now < 3
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Putting this one on my main blog because I’m super proud of this one!! Did a study of Kat Tsai’s work, who’s honestly one of my favourite artists ever. I really tried to focus on her use of pastel colors to create atmosphere, so I hope that at least somewhat reads to the audience!!
Disillusionment.
Totally meant to post this when I did that thing back in August with Pat and Tord's relationship. Will try to return to that over break this December. However, something in my gut just. Told me to make this. That, somehow, there was a sense that many have become unsure of their place, or their duty. So, this speaks to that.
I know Tratior AU was a product of its time, but there's potential there. Someone cooked!! And the idea of one of Tord's closest confidants betraying him? Slaps. Wish more people explored it more.
#ew pat#ew patryck#eddsworld#eddsworld patryck#eddsworld fanart#ew paul#ew tord#SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!!!1!#reblogs appreciated!#orf.art#reposting (my own stuff!!)#repost time :]
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
heyhey! this is about the testimony segment of my Venom paper! can you tell me why the ship appeals to you? I know many enjoy the body horror, but not all, so I'd like to get your perspective! thanks for reaching out!
Hi!
I have always empathized with non-human and monstrous characters.
It's partially because of being the weird neurodivergent queer kid. People think they're weird, their relationship is wrong, or something like that. Kinda hits a little too close to home.
Besides all that kinda sad part in which a lot of queer people relate to monsters
There is just. The trust. The knowledge of each other. The closeness.
I am seriously trying to explain it but I don't think I have words to express the yearning of a relationship like theirs causes.
Because they're different but they're the same. Two beings in one with separate thoughts but with knowledge of what each other is thinking.
The movies are more sarcastic in their relationship but if you look into the comics they call each other pet names all the time.
They LOVE each other
They have gone through trauma together and separately and work through it because they are partners.
They're endgame.
They are each other's souls in a world that didn't want them.
-
As for the physical part it's not even about the body horror and kinky stuff (which yes it has it's appeal)
It's about being able to rely on another being to take care of you in ways that only yourself would be able to
Comforting each other in secret because no one can see it but Eddie feels hugged because they share a body and Venom is just surrounding him enough to be felt but not noticed.
The compromise of eating only bad guys when necessary because tater tots and chocolate are good but brains
It's a relationship filled with love, with the bonus of being a badass vigilante.
___
#Those two just make me want to grab them and squish them into a pocket#they're very dear to me#I hope that was useful and at least somewhat coherent#will be happy to dm if you need to clarify anything#venom#symbrock#eddie brock#HelloI'mHayden
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#I need to figure out a way to tag these guys#like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works#but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie#maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out#if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down#after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain#and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me#but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise#convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl#(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life#and that is the first step to self acceptance#I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there#and he looks like his brother the most in it#but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often#and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals#but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend#animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3#I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away#probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest#I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over#it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs#okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
I really love the idea of bunker cities in broken horizon but you mentioned that the storms are basically extremely powerful hurricanes. This means they must be leaving behind huge flooded areas wherever they go, and that water must be a huge load on the walls of a bunker city whenever it does happen. How do they deal with that? Where does the water go? does it drain rapidly into aquifers and rivers or does it sit and stagnate? if it stagnates, do bugs become a problem? do the cities have canals and other earthworks projects to make the water drain faster? And also, the cities themselves must act as massively complex machines in order to be able to switch from bunkers to regular cities. How do they maintain that? Or is it just that they build in a way that creates a storm-resistant city, such as with very hard and durable materials and with narrow, easily sheltered streets without using many moving parts? do the bunker cities have permanent walls such as those used throughout history? How do these bunker cities have electricity or plumbing while keeping those utilities within the bunker? How do they deal with the toxic gas buildup (such as CO and CO2 and CH4) that would surely result from enclosing an industrialized city in a giant box? or are they not an industrial society?
Oh these are great questions the most of which I hadn't given thought to (yet anyways haha)
The hurricanes DO leave floods, however cities are built with extremely robust drainage systems. They've honed and maintained the systems for hundreds of years under these heavy storms. The cities are built on relatively high ground so that the water has places to go specifically to avoid stagnation. However in the penninsula the temperatures are pretty low, so bugs aren't that huge of a problem. The walls are also significantly slanted to reduce the pressure of the impacts on it.
The cities have giant walls that move into place to protect the buildings underneath whenever a storm approaches and armors it against the downpour. Yes they have huge machines in place for that but they are far from complex as the more complex they are the more prone to failure they are. They've kept the technology for that as simple as possible, and put their advancements elsewhere. Still, because of this necessity, the buildings in cities arent very high, and a significant portion of the walkable areas are underground (so the buildings you see would be like, the "surface" level of the city). It is ample enough that no one is ever missing out on sunlight or outside time <3
They do have electricity and plumbing, it's one of the biggest advantages of living in the cities as opposed to out in the world. Like I said, they're very robust. Ventilation as well, there isnt any trouble keeping gas from building up and bringing fresh air inside
The city is somewhat industrialized (they're where overland vehicles and other machines are made) but the factory areas are separated from the living areas, and even if there was a lot of emissions they would have been built in a way where it wasnt harmful to the citizens. They want to keep people in, not drive them out or kill them off.
I don't have more technical answers because I am not an architect or a physicist to think of every detail but I did put some thought into it ^^
None of these cities are old cities, all of those got destroyed. These all got built post-storm era (somehow!!) and have been maintained since. It was impossible to adapt the older cities and had to be rebuilt from the ground up.
#for power they use a power source i made up 👍 and for building materials its probably the same case#i dont want to get lost in the details of the buildings yet because otherwise ill start researching like. how foundations work or some shit#for 5000 hours and i dont have that kinda time#BUTTT THANK U FOR THE QUESTIONS I HOPE I ANSWERED AT LEAST SOMEWHAT SATISFACTORILY!!!#some of the cities are directly built within cliffs or mountains and have giant windows open to the world that close with thick metal sheet#whenever the storms come home#ask#broken horizon#imagine if like. dwarves and weird cyberpunk hive cities did a fusion dance. its kind of like that.
17 notes
·
View notes