#i hope theres lesbians in the book lol

[seaweed-is-cool]

as someone who is yet to read the book, the rwrb movie was fantastic - I didn't stop smiling. I'm always a slut for enemies to lovers but add in a royal setting my god, it was perfect. It was dramatic but right and so tender. I cried multiple times and I'm sure I'm going to cry more at the book.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My final thoughts about season 1 of Heartstopper

Was surprised by how little they changed from the books (despite being told as much by a very helpful fan).

It just felt like there was....more. Not saying Alice is a bad writer (she literally created one of my newest obsessions & is helping make the show), but the graphic novels are almost exclusively Nick & Charlie focused. Which isn't bad, persay. I literally love them as individual characters & as a couple, but it definitely makes the story feel "smaller" & a little rushed at times, to me (but I know she originally created Heartstopper when she was very young so I think stuff like that are very understandable flaws) & I'm sure tons of people don't have a problem with the pacing of the books & might even find the show too slow or "bloated'. I, however, personally appreciate the changes made (minus not getting to witness Nick whine to his mum about his boyfriend not being allowed to come on their holiday because that was hilarious). Most storylines were neither dragged out for too long nor so quickly resolved that things ended on an anticlimatic note, with most characters being given enough time, with the amount of episodes they have, for characters to doubt/second guess themselves & argue like obviously they're teens & are going through difficult stuff (I know haters wanna act like this series is "too perfect, that it's boring," but most of the characters are lgbtq+ & are shown facing at least some kind of struggle because of that). Which just gives the series a little more time to breathe. I think this is clearly shown/felt with the supporting cast.

The big moments in the book seem to be solely Nick or Charlie's. The other characters, much more secondary, only getting snippets of focus/attention tacked on at the end of volumes or their situations already being pretty much established by the time they're introduced. Theres little discovery for them, no getting to see the stirings of them first developing/realising a crush. Instead, Elle & Tao already like each other (even if they won't admit it) & their friend group already knows. Tara is just tottally open about being a lesbian from the get go (seemingly suffering no scrutiny) when we meet her in the book & so we never get Darcy feeling bad about how the change in their relationship is difficult for the person she loves.

I guess it's so we, the audience, can strictly focus on the development of the Nick x Charlie relationship. Which again isn't bad, but I definitely prefer it this way. Changes the serise from having two leads & the rest just being supporting characters to it feeling much more like an ensemble cast of genuine friends who all have their own lives & issues to sort out.

Also I actually kinda love the addition of Imogen like yeah she was annoying with the 'who your texting' thing & just how oblivious she was about Nick clearly not being into her (she over came that though, thank god) but even when she was at her most problimatic (I'm an ally) she was at least hilarious. I've said 'Come on Nickalous' to myself at least once a day since I watched that episode & you're gonna have to rip that habit from my cold, dead hands! In conclusion, some of you are a little too eager to hate on teen girls sometimes (like, at worst, she's cringey). I do hope she's more respectful in regards to LGBTQ+ stuff moving forward of course, but like character development is also a thing & unlike Harry & Ben (self haiting though he obviously is) she wasn't shown to be an actual bully. I just think the internet, which woobifies toxic male characters on the regular, shouldn't judge her as harshly as I've seen some people do (though I will admit a lot of them are probably doing so mostly as a joke, its just a little weird hearing adults refer to someone who's supposed to be like 15, as a bitch/slut). Anyway, rant over, lol.

Can't wait to continue this lovely series.

[alivehouse]

Hope this is not a weird ask, but I'm genuinely curious: have you read any Gaiman's books? What are you opinions on them?

I read the very critically acclaimed "American Gods" and I was finishing it as a testament to my willpower - it was so boring and it felt like the actual action never started. Reading your posts I'm now starting to think that maybe I wasn't imagining it and he just isn't a very good writer...

admittedly i have not actually read any full gaiman books as an adult, i made that post bc im reading through a scrapped good omens movie script he wrote and its *really* bad. ive read coraline and the graveyard book as a kid, i did actually like coraline at the time at least but i remember the graveyard book being underwhelming

as for stuff ive read in this decade, ive read good omens (which half counts i guess) and ive read some of his short stories for classes. i wont get into what i think about good omens bc that could be a whole essay but bottom line is i think terry was the stronger writer of the two, he has a sense of humor and and awareness(?) of the world that neil kind of lacks, and theres a good handful of sections where its obvious terry had a heavier hand writing them and i think are way stronger. & i thought neils short stories fucking sucked lmao i only remember reading one that was a Dark Retelling of snow white and it was really bad it felt like a really immature attempt to be as Edgy as possible with no teeth behind it & betrayed a lack of understanding in what makes fairy tales compelling in the first place/why they persist as a form of storytelling. and once again wont get into it here but there was some weird pedophilia thing going on in that story where a child was seducing and victimizing adults iirc so theres that

oh and also there was the sleeper and the spindle (short story/graphic novel thing) which was ANOTHER ~dark~ fairytale retelling thing in which a character has a lesbian kiss scene and then is revealed to be evil immediately LOL. it also wasnt good. which is a shame bc the art in it was kind of cool iirc. but once again it just left me underwhelmed

[thegirlisuedtobe]

Hi there! First thank you always for translating the Rebecca interviews they are really fun and interesting to read. Seeing some of your comments you made about the Korean Dannys views on romance/homosexuality I was curious. When I first read the novel which was a long time ago, my interpretation of Danny and Rebecca’s relationship was 50/50 maybe really lovers but could also just be some type of non-romantic attachment. After watching the Korean production I feel that there’s a stronger implication of them being lovers. Some Rebecca fandom friends that I know are on the skeptical side I guess about them being real lovers so this is a topic that interests me. I was curious do you think you would’ve still thought of Danny and Rebecca as lovers if it wasn’t for the Korean production/Ock Joohyun? Really wanted to know your thoughts about that! Actlly I want to think of them as lovers but like if asked to defend why I think they’re lovers I’m not sure I’d personally be able support my view properly with evidence or anything since I’m not the good at analysis type etc haha. I hope this makes sense? Thx

Tbh it's kind of hard to say I feel that way 100% with no bias but,,,

(lol under the read more bc i ended up rambling)

Actually, the way I got into Rebecca was I discovered joo hyuns performance > i read the wiki > i watched a subtitled version of the german performance > I watched the Korean production > then I read the book > then I translated the Korean script further and read interviews.

Joo Hyun's performance was only just her singing the Rebecca long reprise at the top of act two, it wasn't really a song that incredibly showcased her interpretation or feelings towards the dynamic between rebecca and danny. when I read the wiki I was already thinking danny and rebecca sounded gay as hell and even watching the albeit reserved german production i felt like the specific situation that danny was found it alluded to that lover dynamic. like im a lesbian LOL so I kind of immediately went hey theres another lesbian right there. When it came to how maxim talked about rebecca it only further cemented in my mind that rebecca was also a lesbian. so like even from the german production, i felt that rebecca and danny were lesbians and had something together. now whether that something was balanced is another story, but i deff in my heart knew that they were some kind of secret lovers.

i don;t think in my mind that i ever had any doubt that rebecca and danny had some kind of more than mistress and servant relationship, and i dont think that i ever doubted that it was ever one sided. idk i just felt it in my gut. But i also moved on from the german production quite quickly when i got a copy of the rebecca production. that initial feeling of theyre lesbians really bloomed into oh they really loved each other when i got to the korean production and joo hyunie was pulling out all the stops. like the way she was acting,,, there was this palpable sense of love, the kind of love that felt equal. i've also talked about this before in one of my review essays (on my writing blog) but i think the contrast of her age against the older german dannys did a lot of work to bring that love closer to "lovers" and a more balanced dynamic imo.

i remember talking to a german rebecca fan and they talked a lot about doing a lot of contextualising and rationalising, trying to bend the script into a way that danny and rebecca were something in a mutual sense. i remember being really confused about that. like they had to put a lot of mental energy into rationalising that they were "mutual lovers" whereas it felt innate to me that they were.

Re: the age contrast. When I finally got to reading the book as well, in my mind i thought danny and rebecca grew up together as children (the line where danny has been with rebecca since she was young). also please note that i'm asian so like cultural aspects of rebecca flew over my head at times, but when i read it thats what i thought that line meant. but i talked to a european rebecca friend of mine and they said danny is referred to as governess and usually theyd be at least like 20 so when danny says she was with rebecca since childhood she meant in an overseeing kind of way; child and carer relationship. me not knowing that cultural thing impacted the balance i saw in their relationship which is why its also interesting that a lot of the korean dannys felt the same way i felt.

i haven't read the korean translation of rebecca so i dont know how they translate that cultural aspect/line but joo hyun, shin young sook, jang eun ah and kim sun young as i have just discovered all thought that danny grew up with rebecca. that her mother was rebecca's nanny and because of their close proximity grew up together. even before reading the interviews where these dannys said that, i also thought that was the case. so maybe its a culture thing?

but because of that, the relationship felt balanced enough that i felt like it was mutual. compounded by the more emotive ways that joo hyunie was expressing just how much she loved rebecca, it felt like a no brainer to me that they loved each other exclusively. sure rebecca was out and about having sex, but it wasnt sex out of love, it felt like sex out of fun or a habitual need, it felt like it meant entirely nothing to her. ergo her "love" (the kind beyond just physical sex) was only for danny. ive always felt very certain of that.

i think your feeling of not being able to defend danny and rebecca mutual relationship is understandable. there's so much ambiguity in the original text that its difficult to say that this thing points directly to this, or lots of lines could mean different things to different people. i'm always the opinion of rebecca is a mirror and depending on what themes or ideas or messages that u pick up, it's really just a reflection of what u want to see most. now whether i agree with another person's image of rebecca through that mirror is an entirely differnt matter, but i can't help but feel that way with danny and rebecca. its like,,, all i can say is, have you looked at them?? dont they seem that way to you??

lol im sure if i put my head into it i could make an essay to "prove" that theyre in a mutual relationship, and i know theres plently of evidence that i could pick out, but the gut feeling has been there from the start!

[aesrot]

Hi! I’m here once again to poison you with the stuff I like. Remember how we were complaining about there being so little f/f in fanfic and wanting to find more? Well, I have the perfect book series for that. It has both canon lesbians and some of the best fanfic I’ve read. It’s called The Locked Tomb, and it’s my favorite book series I think. Do you like lesbian necromancers? Do you like lesbian necromancers in space? Do you like being confused while reading? Well boy do I have the perfect series for you (I’ll attempt to give you an actual summary if you want it). Take my hand and join me here. Anyway, I hope you had a good day today :)

okay but this is kinda funny, bc this past few days/weeks i've been seeing so much fanart for tlt, and im always like. holy shit. idk who these people are but they look so fucking good??? istg the best propaganda for any media is people blorboposting and fanart (extra points if combined)

its smth thats already been lowkey in the back of my mind, i just havent researched it yet, so yes, i might actually join you in this, especially bc i've been on a queer-only reading streak lmao (idk why but after i started reading queer books, cishet ones just feel ugh so boring, theres no flavour).

also hi hello, i just woke up lol. hope your days going good! <33

[corantus]

I hope this isn’t weird to ask, but you live in minneapolis, right? I’m moving there in a couple months and was wondering if you had any recommendations of things to do or places to check out! I’ve already been saving some restaurants esp. vegan stuff for my roommate and I, and like libraries and whatnot, but I figured you might have good suggestions. Also I always love your art!!

thank youu! and yeah i live in minneapolis :o) i guess im putting on my little gay tourism board hat here...

my vegan food hot takes!!

restaurants: hard times cafe, rly good and cheap vegan breakfasts. modern times cafe also good & cheap, they have good veggie sandwiches & vegan pastries (no relation they just have similar names lol). theres this crusty looking chinese restaurant under a bridge on lake street called china express & their general tsos tofu will knock ur tits off. AND glam doll donuts is so good just go there

fun stuff thats free: como zoo & conservatory, minneapolis institute of art, art shanty project (festival in the winter), art car parade, quatrefoil library (gay library where all the books are gay), northside art crawl, barebones halloween pageant. we also have quite a lot of beaches and places to swim in the summer bc of all the lakes

fun stuff that costs money but Highly recommend:

the heights movie theater - cool vintage theater that mainly shows old movies. they have a guy who plays a big pipe organ before every show it absolutely whips

the bakken museum - electricity museum in a big old gothic mansion, features an extremely cool frankenstein animatronic show

can can wonderland - indoor mini golf (with alcohol!)

vegfest - vegan food festival in the fall thats pretty fun (technically costs money but you can kind of just go ape on free samples)

fun stores: midtown global market, ax man surplus, majors and quinn books, moon palace books, smitten kitten (for christians who love jesus), united noodles, time bomb vintage

AND also the best gay bars imo are the 19 bar & the blackheart (lesbian soccer bar). the saloon is the big famous one downtown but i dont like it personally

and lastly, the mall of america is our biggest tourist attraction but it's really only fun when its like mid december and youve been trapped in your house for 3 months

anyways hope some of this was helpful anon !!

[demadogs]

Hi! I'm a huge fan of slow burns too. Do you have any recommendations of tv shows with good slow burn romances? (straight or gay) I find them sooo hard to find and I don't understand why lol, they're the best!

i can think of some good book slow burns but yeah for tv shows byler is by far the slowest burn ive ever come across. the ones i can think of are actually sitcoms which are fun and all but i love more dramatic plots like stranger things. but new girl is definitely one, the good place, and brooklyn nine nine. all of those are straight couples but still very great shows. but again, not nearly as slow of a burn as byler. im trying to think of a show with a less comedic tone and a gay ship thats as slow of a burn as byler and i truly cant think of any. maybe thats why i love byler so much. no other show that ive seen has done this with a gay couple.

not sure if youre a reader but theres some good slow burn books i can recommend. all of these are gay.

carry on is fantastic. this is the kinda slow burn where they dont even interact until over 100 pages in but its SO good god i love it.

seven husbands of evelyn hugo. this ones kinda all over the place like you may read it and once you get to a certain part youll be like “this wasnt a slow burn?” but its a slow burn to finally get to their happy ending if that makes sense. great book.

criers war/iron heart. this is a great lesbian fantasy slow burn that i dont see that many people talk about. its a cool rendition of enemies to lovers because one character considers the other her enemy for reasons that the other isnt aware of. so its like a half enemies to lovers but its really good and a really interesting story aside from the romance. its about this world where there are people and the automa and the automa are basically AI that the humans are at war with. crier’s an automa and the other character ayla is human.

red white and royal blue. honestly not thaaat slow a burn but i really like the lead up to it. this is a great book. i hope the movie does it well.

if anybody can think of other slow burn shows that are as slow as byler (preferably gay) let me know.

[fatsmyname]

not the person who originally asked you abt your transmasc + butch identity, but i also wanted to thank you for sharing. i haven't been able to describe my gender beyond 'it's just how i feel' and 'i just am,' so it's really validating to see a fellow lesbian have a similar experience as me :D i'm thinking there's a possibility i could be butch so i've been listening to other lesbians' experiences w gender (i'm also going to read stone butch blues when i'm feeling well enough to sit at my desk & read lol). thank you again and i hope you have a wonderful day 💙💙💙

of course!!!!! we are just sharing one brain <333 living one life <3333 its always fun seeing other lesbians share the same complicated gender experience!!!! surrounding myself with other lesbians like me, whether online or irl, has helped me contextualize and articulate my gender better, but if theres ONE thing i can credit for shoving me into transgenderism its stone butch blues... fr that book changed my life and ive never been the same after... of course warnings for graphic and explicit accounts of police brutality, SA, and suicide. its a heavy book but its one that i believe every queer person should read. youll have to come back and tell me what you think about it when you finally read it!

[the-golden-ghost]

I think the reason people default to saying gideon the ninth 'is about lesbian necromancers in space lol' is because its a bit hard to adequately summarize the series in a single blurb and have it sound instantly appealing in a kind of elevator pitch way. Really its about a necromancer and her swordswoman exploring an ancient castle looking for a secret necromancy theorem to become a powerful being called a lyctor. And it only gets more complicated from there. And theyre in space, and there's a threat of giant planet-eating beasts at some point. Its the kind of series where its better reading knowing absolutely nothing makes it better apart from trigger warnings of gore (which theres a lot a lot of) . I hope that makes sense sorry for the ramble.

Okay, I guess that makes sense. I've had people try and explain the plot to me and none of them were able to.

But I have no idea why "a necromancer and her swordswoman exploring an ancient castle looking for a magical theorem that will give them the power to save their world from interplanetary threats" wouldn't be adequate. Like that's a fine plot synopsis to me. Summaries don't need to encapsulate every single thing about a book; they just need to explain the main conflict.

[xcrystalzero]

HI HI! can i get a matchup please?

- 15

- Either or both id be happy, whichever comes easiest to you :)

- Lesbian

- I have pale skin (no im not white lol), black hair, it's thick and (unfortunately) high maintenance, I usually keep it shoulder length. A fang grew in my mouth weird now its visible whenever i open my mouth. I wear glasses. Goth, or.. i strive to be

- INFP/ravenclaw/4w5/passionate about what i like, apathetic about anything else, easily bored, sassy, Bad At Emotional Expression, teasing, honestly rough around the edges but i try :')

- I'm an artist, I enjoy crafting and creating in general, I enjoy books, although i spend most of my time drawing that i dont really have time for anything else. avid boba enjoyer, theatre kid, music, kitties, spicy food, women.... sleep

- God I hate garlic. Repetitive noises, seafood, negative emotions, sweating/heat, being touched by someone i dont want touching me, my dad-

- I always try to communicate if theres something to say, and I'd get frustrated if the other party will not listen to me. I hate getting upset at people i like but in the end i have a temper and am prone to snapping if i feel unheard. id cry if someone i like gets genuinely mad at me though. gift giving is my passion

Hope nothing is unclear! Thank you so much :)

Bruh, I want a fang...

I match you with ... Xiangling!

- I like for the goth/ball of sunshine dichotomy so I'm all about this pairing.

- Ya'll tease each other literally all the time and it's cute as hell. When you guys wander through the streets together, the difference in aesthetics sometimes attract some stares but you guys are just so cute together that everyone loves you guys anyway.

- So, I heard you like spicy food? I guess its a good thing that you're dating one of Liyue's best chefs who specializes in spicy cuisine! That being said, she works at a restaurant in a harbor so you may have to request that she stops making seafood.

- I feel like she's wonderful at communication and likes to talk things out and make sure that people get along so you shouldn't have to worry about snapping on her too often.

- She thinks you're really really smart and admires your passion towards the things you're interested in! She's that way too!

- She drags you out of the city to gather ingredients for her newest recipes and you spend that time finding materials for new crafts. Sometimes, you guys will come back and have a little competition about who was the most creative with what they came up with.

[regalmadness]

50 questions you've never been asked

Tagged by @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie thanks love!

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

Pink

2. A food you never eat

There is something in my country called Auyama... yup that just

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold

Too cold, like I be cuddling and people will get scared that im as cold as ice and so to ease their worries I just burry my hands and feet into their coat or clothes 🤣

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Studying

5. What is your favourite candy bar?

The ring pop. I love it! It brings back memories. Either that or any white chocolate.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes I once had the oportunity to go to a basketball match between the Miami Heat and the Rockets

7. What is the last thing you said outloud?

Take your time its fine, I'll wait

8. What is your favourite icecream?

Bubblegum

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. Do you like your wallet?

Well it keeps my money safe and its got a cool design I guess

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Carrots

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

🤣🤣🤣🤣 living out of my pj collection lately

13. Last sporting event you watched?

The superball (Go 9ners!)

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

Butter ir cheese

15. Who is the last person you sent a text?

My best friend

16. Ever go camping?

Never have, but Im game all the way!

17. Do you take vitamins?

In case this is ever leaked outside of tumblr and out of the internet I just wanna say from the bottom of my truthfull heart... Mom if you are reading this, yes I am definitelly taking my vitamins every single day without fail. I definitely dont forget and take them daily and not just sometimes.

18. Do you go to church every sunday?

Not every sunday but whenever I can sure

19. Do you have a tan?

In this economy?

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

Pizza pizza pizza pizzaaaa

21. Do you drink your soda with straw?

I dont have an issue drinking it either with or without a straw but I prefer without since you know *Poison Ivy's voice* gotta do enviroment

22. What colour socks do you usually wear?

Bold of you to assume I only use 1 pair of the same colour and not go all harley quinn on my feet.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

When its an urgency type of thing. (Always being caferul) *Insert panic voices in the backround, followed by the 'but did you die' meme* Otherwise I drive as fast as the speed limit lets me.

24. What terrifies you?

Well they dont terrify me but like big bugs are a HUGE NO from me (if it has wings make it an ULTRA NO)

25. Look to your left what do you see?

These handsome boys

26. What chore do you hate?

Cleaning the bathroom

27. What do you think of when you hear an ausie accent?

HOT!

28. Whats your favourite soda?

Its a Colombian brand its called cola y pola

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Depends on the mood of the day

30. Whos the last person you talked to?

My best friend

31. Favourite cut of beef?

I like beef I dont have a preference as long as it tastes good

32. Last song you listened to?

Westworld theme (lmao Im just learning piano so I kinda wanna learn how to play it... not because Im still NOT okay with what happened and want to remember Dolores anyway I can, nope Im totally fine with that, Im handling it like a normal grown adult, Im A OK)

33. Last book you read?

Oh wow. Uhhh I think it was a greek mythology one, cant remember the name 😭 its been so long since I've read anything other than the 1000 manuals and documents for work

34. Favourite day of the week?

Kinda varies from season to season, it depends on which tv shows are airing and their schedulle. It used to be sunday bc westworld but now *sighs*

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can do it midly fast in spanish but in english? 🤣 Im like (how do you sing the song backwards again?)

36. How do you like your coffee?

Sweet! And I prefer Ice coffee to regular.

37. Favourite pair of shoes?

Captain marvel addidas sneakers

38. At what time do you normally go to bed?

That depends, are you refering to actually sleaping? Or at what time I tuck in and either spend till sunrise scrolling through this godforsaken website looking at memes or remembering all the emabasing moments of my life in movie secuence in my brain

39. At what time do you normally get up?

8-9am

40. What do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

I know sometimes bitches be sleeping under 3 blankets, 4 pairs of pillows and butt ass naked because you know life. But you know... its me im bitches.

42. Describe your kitchen plates

Round and white

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

Absolutely love cocktails! Anything with blue curaçao or tequila in it Im asfkkshsk! And if I had to choose a plain? Tequila for sure.

44. Do you play cards?

I do like card games and sometimes we play went we get together (family) but im not really good at it I just have fun lol

45. What colour is your car?

Dont currently own one. But my sub card is green if that counts

46. Can you change a tire?

Im a lesbian

47. What is your favourite providence?

Theres a city at the north east of the country called Bucaramanga. Its really nice the weather the people everything!

48. Favourite job you've ever had?

That would be my current job. Flying is my life! (I miss it so much 😞)

49. How did you get your biggest scar?

Long story short my mother was fixing some metal stuff and told me not to come into the house running (I was 5) so ofc I listen to the very wise advise my dear moma gave me and definitely didnt run, hence I definitely dont have a scar on my left cheek (its very tiny now)

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy

Gave my mom a letter and a beautiful everlasting rose.

Thank you, this was fun!

Tagging: @fandommember @dino-hoodie @mccdimples @hipesque @duranza @awhitefairytale @dfincher @giffing

[bandomgay]

Answer ALL the soft asks!!

cherry - what is your sexuality? im pansexual but im also sometimes identify with being a lesbian

lollipop - favorite makeup products? i dont rlly fucks with makeup,which i wanna get into makeup tho

daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be? hmm.. idk anything thats not me tbh

october - what month were you born in? june!

caress - do you like to snuggle? yeah i like being big spoon

ivory - describe your pajamas? probs unsafe but sometimes my fake ass binder and underwear and a shirt

golden - favorite stationary product? everything

freckles - most-worn article of clothing? my hottopic black highwaisted ripped jeans

twilight - best friend? van/adrian 

silk - do you like k-pop? i wont say i dont like it its just not up my alley

poppy - favorite pastel color? lol pastel pink i know im generic

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face? everything if im in love with u

sunkissed - autumn or spring? autumn tbh

buttery - favorite snack? chicken nugs lmao

whisper - how much sleep do you get? abt 3 hours or 2314 hours theres no inbetween lmao

pencil - do you own a journal? nope im dirt ass poor

cupcake - are you a good cook? idk tbh

honey - favorite term of endearment? hmm baby boy/girl tbh

clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams? idk if u mean dreams as in sleep or ur  like...dreams idk

velvet - who was your first crush? this girl in 2nd grade that became my gf but we broke up like in 4th grade ive never seen her again

paper - favorite children’s book? frog and toad because i knew they were gay

peaches - do you have a skincare routine? no tbh

mochi - favorite studio ghibli film? howls moving castle

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend? nope

strawberry - favorite fruit? apples

kiss - have you ever kissed a friend? awe that’d be cute i hope i get to

nightlight - do you read before bed? yeah

shampoo - favorite scent? brown sugar

skin - what distant relative are you closest to? none

aphrodite - favorite actress/actor? tom holland tbh theres more but it asked for 1 so..

cuddles - do you have any pets? never

ace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite? uh i dont wear dresses

sheets - sanrio or san-x characters? SAN-X!!

cream - frozen yogurt flavor? hmm i dont like froyo

watermelon - do films ever make you cry? i dont cry...ever tbh

sapphos - favorite poet? edgar allen poe 

plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own? uh alot i have ALOT!!!

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful? uh this may be weird but i really like dead roses tbh

sweetheart - favorite mug/cup? the heat changing ones those are cool

sunset - what are your pronouns? THEY/THEM

[anotherenbyjourney]

why now?

Something I was asked by my doctor during my assessment was: Why now? Why look to pursue surgery now? Why come out to everyone and make these changes now? I turn 30 in just over a month. I’m not a kid, or a teen anymore. Far from it. I suppose I should know who I am by now, should have had that figured out, but honestly do any of us ever really know who we are? Ever?

My entire life I’ve felt just... Odd. Weird. “Other” a lot of the time. Not just because I’m a nerd (that’s not helped lol), but I have never really fit in properly with the majority of your average girls or women. I felt the “odd one out” amongst my family who were predominantly female. In offices staffed with majority women, I felt like a complete outsider. I’ve very rarely “clicked” with girls and I get along a LOT easier and faster with guys. Any age, any background, any education level, getting along with guys was much smoother.

I put it down to “they just don’t “get” you”.  I didn’t get the same feeling with my friends, male or female. We shared enough of the same interests, had the same sense of humour, liked the same things etc. But that’s how it works right? The people you click and vibe with, you make friends with. Age was maybe also a factor in “not gelling” with other women. People also come from different walks of life. 

“You're not just a big weird freak, you’re just made from entirely different moulds, right? You can’t get along with everyone?”

It’s only within the last few years that I started finding out about gender issues, nonbinary specifically. The more and more I read into it, the more stats and facts and studies I absorbed, the more little bits of information, the more RELATABLE AS HELL the stories I was reading were getting... the more I started to consider; Hey wait a minute. This is all making FAR too much goddamn sense.

It took a while for things to start adding up to the point I started making changes in my life or thinking differently about myself. All the things I was learning, and how they related to me and the way I think and feel, started to change my outlook on myself. About 2 and a half years ago, I started thinking to myself: “Right. I’m Nonbinary. This is me!” I tried it on, entirely privately, non-verbally. It’s how I thought about myself. And it... fit. It worked. It felt right.

Some time later, I told my husband and a few very close friends “hey I think I might be nonbinary” or at the very least “I’m having very weird Gender Feelings you guys...” The ability to talk it out and bounce ideas and feelings off my friends, some of whom are trans themselves, has been utterly invaluable. Last year I made more baby steps towards accepting this strange new-but-not-new part of myself, that I’d managed to finally put a name to. I told a few more people. I would drop it into casual convo. I made posts around pride week and national coming out day. The binder I’d bought to wear for cosplay purposes, I started wearing on a more casual everyday basis. I -embraced- my masculine swings a lot more often and dressed how I wanted to dress, moved how I wanted to move, spoke how I wanted to speak. The way that felt most natural at that time. I stopped worrying I “looked super butch” or “like a lesbian” when I looked and dressed more masculine.

And it all felt - really good-.

Imagine you’ve gone the majority of your life, thinking like.. “theres just something not quite right here.” It’s nothing causing you physical pain.  There are no real symptoms you can put a finger on. “Not fitting in with women”, “not being into girl stuff”, “having body confidence and body image issues”, “liking to wear boys clothes/have short masc haircuts/wearing cologne/etc/etc/etc” were all just weird little facets of yourself you’d had to live with and feel weird and “other” about.

And then suddenly someone goes: hey that weirdness you’re feeling? There’s a name for that. You’re not just a freak! You’re not different all of a sudden, nothing has changed, but aaaall the stuff that made you “you”, makes a heck of a lot more sense now that you can put a name on it.

This is not “Who I Am Now”. This is Who I Have Always Been.

It all started to make sense. Everything. I wasn’t just weird. I didn’t have to worry about “looking like a man” anymore. My dysphoria made SENSE. It sucked ass, and still made me feel like shit, but it made sense! I’m not broken.

The biggest “click” and the thing that lit a real fire under me was New Years eve 2017. It was a themed party, and people were all in costumes. I went as a male character and wore my binder (I’m going to talk a bit about costuming as male characters later because this is also Important I think). I’d had a few drinks, and when it came time to take the costume off and get into something a bit more comfy after midnight (and because I was coming to the end of my binder time. I like to bind safely) I found that it was HEARTRENDINGLY UPSETTING... to take the binder off and “go back to being girl-me again”. I’d always been really sad after a solid weekend of dressing as a man for male costumes and having to “go back to normal” but this was like an intense version of that feeling. That I’d spent 29 years doing this, living with and putting up with “girl-me”. Like that version of myself wasn’t the real me at all. That I was facing another year, approaching thirty, and that this was going to be how things were for the rest of my life unless I did something about it.

January 2nd I sent out an email to my chosen doctor (I’d been researching it all for months at the back end of 2017 but done nothing about it) to try and book an appointment to pursue top surgery, which I told my husband about and we had a long discussion around. 

February 4th I came out to my mum and my two sisters who had a lot of questions but were incredibly supportive. They told me that “actually that makes a lot of sense...” considering my childhood, and while they were worried for me from a “this is a surgery you cannot come back from, I hope you’re sure” point of view, supported me there too.

Last month I went a lot more public with my gender and I’m trying to make more and more people aware of it, since I interact with large groups of varied people as part of cosplay and costuming. I’ve literally faced nothing but support (and questions of course, but I’ve got all the time in the world for supportive people who just want to understand things so they can better help and support their friends and others like me.)

It’s been thirty years. And I still have a long way to go. But I’ve honestly never been more comfortable within myself and with every babystep I’ve taken towards hacking my way out of this shitty little “desperately trying to conform to gender standards” chrysalis I’ve been trapped in for my entire life, the better I’ve felt.

[definitelynot-danielhowell-old]

yo! any book/music/tv show/movie recommendations you want to share? i’m hungry for new content lol

MY PAL I HOPE YOU’RE READY

Books: 

- Simon vs. The Homosapien Agenda: aka love, simon. Super gay, super cute, high school drama/romance. LOVED IT

- Struck by Lightning by Chris Colfer: high school student wants to become a journalist/writer and go to a big fancy university and goes through a bunch of personal and school related issues and does everything he can to become successful, which uh, easily told by the title, ends in a…weather related situation

- Stranger than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer: like 4 highschoolers going on a final adventure after graduation. They’re all obsessed with this show though, and as a joke, invites the main star of the show, who ends up tagging along. The teens learn the harsh reality of their favourite celebrity 

- The Land of Stories series by Chris Colfer: theres like 5 or 6 books in this series i think??? Anyways it’s about these twins who get trapped in the fairytale world (with like all dem disney princess’ n shit) and its generally just a gr8 adventure-y story!! 

Movies:

personally I’m not a huge movie person so this list will probably be shorter!

- Struck by lightning: yes it’s just the movie version of the book, but the movie was actually created before the book!

- Love, Simon: You get the gist

- Idk if this counts as a movie but they’re an hour long each and theyre John Mulaney’s stand-up comedy acts and theyre fucking hilarious

TV Shows:

im including netflix specials too bc i can

- Brooklyn nine-nine: A comedy cop show. Recently experienced trauma bc Fox cancelled season 6, luckily NBC picked it up so bless

- The Fosters: Two lesbian moms raising their adopted childreb (and one biological) rlly dramatic, cute, funny occasionally 

- Big Mouth: Netflix special, its about like 7th graders i think?? going through puberty and shit and its so fucking hilarious

- Orange is the new Black: Netflix special, takes place in a womens prison. drama but like IT GOOD

- The Office: im guessing you know what this is 

- How I met your Mother: I’m guessing you know this one too. has Neil Patrick Harris in it, if that helps convince you

- Glee: Look im trash dont come for me

- QUEER EYE: netflix special, 5 gay guys go and fix sad Str8 guys’ lives and i love them all

-  Sherlock: i just love it sm

Music:

okay instead of general music, imma give you bands and artists

- Marianas Trench: A canadian band. Love them. The lead singer writes quite a few songs about his battle with bulimia and drug addiction, as well as basically an entire album about his ex-fiancee and a song abt his mother battling with Alzheimers 

- Hedley: another canadian band. kind of non-existent rn bc they uh,,,,, became problematic when they were on tour *i would side eye emoji but im on my laptop) Still their music is generally good and they are canadian so i gotta shout them out

- Panic! At the Disco

- Fall Out Boy

- Janelle Monae

- Hayley Kiyoko (lesbian goddess)

- Cornelia Dahlgren: aka another GODDESS WHO I LOVE. (may also know her as Corny, corndog, corn, or martyn lesters gf)

- Troye Sivan

also I’ll link my main Spotify Playlists:

This Means War (my main playlist, is a giant mess of songs, genres, eras, and artists)

The Gayest Gay

Confidence, Baby (basically songs that make me feel good/happy/idk just generally got me fellin’ mahself)

Sleepy Time

YALL WELCOME FOR THIS LONG-ASS POST

[ottergf]

all the asks w os

g o d that so many but i love u so much anyway

moon: what is your astrological sign?

virgo!

pot of honey: your gender identity

woman

snow: what is your favorite time of year and why?

late fall, i love when all the leaves are on the ground and crunchin under me feet, when u can smell the season in the air, when the first snowflakes begin to fall even tho they dont stick

folktale: what stories remind you of your childhood?

any time i hear a story similar to the twelve dancing princesses im immediately reminded of this book i had when i was rly young called 5 minute fairytales and that was one of the first stories i read on my own when i was first learning and it was just a nice time lol

woods: where do you feel at peace?

up north at my family’s cabin on the lake. i could talk about that place for hours but im restraining myself lol

mushroom: list unique things you like about yourself

this is a difficult question sldkfhslv i dont think theres a lot about me thats unique?? let alone unique things that i like??? sdfhgk i really cant think of anything maybe ill come back to this question later

cupboard: a good childhood memory

umm there was this one time when my dads side of the family all got together n my and my cousin were supposed to be sleeping in this room together (we were like 9 at the time??) but instead my cousin snuck poprocks from her moms bag and we stayed up till like midnight eating them and giggling and i remember having like the time of my life lol

fallen log: something you’ve gotten over that you never thought you would

i used to have really bad anxiety around phone calls and texting, but im slowly getting over that lol

wild boar: which person do you feel closest to?

my mom tbh? i tell her almost everything

footprints: do you remember your past lives?

no haha. im not sure how many people can answer yes to this question

vodka: do you drink?

yeah, on occasion

sour cherry: an obscure tradition from your family?

omg every christmas my dads side of the family gets together to do a white elephant game, and inevitable someone wraps this old bronze-coated shoe that used to belong to my grandma (its super ugly and a joke between my dad and his siblings) and whoever ends up with the shoe that year has to display it in their home until the next christmas

home: where do you dream of living?

in a small coastal town, either in a little apartment above a used bookstore that I own or in a small house on a large property with a big beautiful garden

tobacco: do you have any addictions?

no, thankfully.

sock: how would you describe your clothing taste?

every day i hope to get closer and closer to tacky yet fashionable lesbian but in reality i just dress in a lot of leggings and high waisted jeans with some sort of shirt and jacket

cuckoo clock: are you a morning, a noon, or an evening person?

if i get up early enough to give myself time to wake up fully, i love mornings but thats unrealistic for me most days lol so usually im at my peak in the evenings

wooden fence: a favorite memory

over the summer i went on a 3 week backpacking trip in the adirondacks, and i have a specific memory of summiting my first mountain and when i saw that view from the summit i was absolutely blown away. mt noonmark had the best 360 views from its summit it was so hard so comprehend what i was seeing but definitely one of the best memories i have

[gayregis]

OK first episode reactions

OHHH that was THE KIKIMORE............... im glad we get to see the fight because i mean. i would want some money for doing that crazy shit too. also you noticed how he killed the deer because he was probably starving. 

the moment of hesitation before he enters the tavern......... OK... [jaskier or yennefer voice] dont you just wanna stroke his gross dirty white hair

wait the uhhhh... “tavern scene” occurs in the witcher right, so i dont have to be scared bc this is the lesser evil, right, right, maybe not, idk what theyre switching around

the fucking cease of noise as geralt walks in.... the MOOD

cavill is like way too fine to be playing geralt rn i mean this shot where he says point me to the aldermans house is really showing off his profile. i feel sympathetic for this pretty pretty man

oh im regretting not rereading the lesser evil right now. i cant remember WHAT the fuck happens in that story. he goes to stregobor first though right??? right? he meets with the alderman and the dude’s like nah you cant get shit for that kikimore head, but maybe this wizard will give ya smth

my lesbianisms thinking renfri is pretty VS my morality knowing what shes like VS my witcher fan knowing what the hell happens in this story.... fight

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE RENFRI SO PRETTY!!!!!!! shes SO pretty and cute..... yall are making me like her fuck you fuck you SO hard.

the voice acting is sending me kind of... this is actually a good geralt voice imo if you dont mind me saying that. i still prefer polish tw3 dub but this is actually better than fuckin delvin mallory in the audiobooks. no disrespect, peter kenny, you did dandelion and yennefer and the hansa well, but geralt..... hm....

okay jk actually i need more geralt lines in order to develop my thoughts on his voice. ill wait until edge of the world where he SHOULD be more talkative

are we really going to stregobor’s fucking tower where a naked woman illusion waits on him and he offers to give geralt a go at this basically fuck doll illusion

“where are you from, geralt?” “rivia.” SURE.... YOU LIAR...... liar .... just WAIT until baptism of fire oooohhh just you wait

also this girl marilka is so sweet, also makes me think because milva said she was called that by some. but thats why she changed her name to milva

“because girls cant be witchers right” OK you reminded me 50% of ciri but now youre literally just proto-ciri

oh.... no foolery with the magic door knocker?

YEP I WAS RIGHT WE GOT NAKED LADIES!

wow this exactly what i pictured the inside of stregobor’s tower to be like lmaooo

WHY DOESNT GERALT KNOW STREGOBOR???????

oh its so weird to see ciri like. like old at cintra you know what im saying . like im like wait wait how is she alive if geralt hasnt been there as ravix yet. not BAD just weird for me

“speak normally” this reminds me of in bounds of reason dandelions like should i give the account in verse or in prose and then he starts speaking with the most flowery prose and geralts like PROSE prose please

“if you had been alive during falkas rebellion” please dont mention falka already we’re moving too fast soon enough leo fucking bonhart will be at our heels!

“and she possesses the power to destroy us all” “i dont believe anyone has that power.” WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET YOUR DAUGHTER DUDE LOL

wow he’s really full body dressed in black leather. huh . and people say hes heterosexual fml

okay i thought them calling the girls “girl” was kinda tender in the series but now its even more tender when heard aloud.

eist is like really present here and i like him enough its just that calanthe was like way more important than him in the series though right

“it needs to rhyme” and “pretty ballads hide bastard truths” so are we really just stealing every clever word that jaskier can say before he even comes into it

LOL CIRI LESBIAN LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO GET TO ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKS..... she said BEGONE HET!

OH I LOVE HOW THEY CONTEXTUALIZE IT SO WE KNOW THIS SHIT IS TAKING PLACE IN THE PAST..... WOW GERALT IS OLD AS HELL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO  calanthe was like 14 then right so LOLLLL GERALTS OLD AND TIRED lol

me: is a regis fan / also me: GERALT IS A SHITTY OLD BITCH LMAOO

uh oh spaghettios! its nilfgaard and one of their fun funky officers, son of ceallach! i havent seen him yet but im terrified anyways!

okay see this is how you do a  PROPER adaptation. calanthe in the books committed suicide so she wouldnt be r*ped right as she sat in a stupid castle but this calanthe is on the fucking battlefield. this is why we stan middle aged women

eist: [dies] me: AAAAAA cahir: [is there Waiting] (i think its him maybe) me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ah fuck ah fuck fuck

ciri: why [is nilfgaard attacking] ? calanthe knowing DAMN WELL stupid fucking duny is her dad: uhHHhhHhH idk lol

“you will rule this land someday” nope again! [thinks about lady of the lake] nope and nope!

ciri’s “are you dying?” to calanthe on her deathbed is the new “was he human” yennefer asking if regis (as a giant fucking bat) was human

i love how looongggg these episodes areee omgg

but also i always thought of the fall of cintra as something you know like. it happened in two shakes, cahir kinda just took ciri up by her underarms (like longcat) and left

OHHHH THEY IMPROVED THIS SCENE SO MUCH I WAS HOPING WE’D GET THIS OMG OMG BUT INSTEAD OF TELLING SOME YOUNG GIRL WHICH HAD WEIRD KINDA GROSS CHEMISTRY WITH HIM ROAVCH GETS TO HEAR IT!!! THIS IS HOW YOU DO AN ADAPTATION YAYY

renfri: who were you talking to? geralt: .. my horse.......... all of the fans: [dialing 1-800-TROUBADOUR immediately]

ugh i really thought they were gonna adapt the sex between renfri and geralt out. ugh ugh . too much heterosexuality

WHOA. HOLD THE FUCK UP. HOLD> HE FUCK UP. CALANTHE ADVISED CIRI TO TAKE MERCY. THATS LITERALLY FORESHADOWING FOR WHEN SHE CHOOSES NOT TO SLAY CAHIR AT THANEDD. WOW. WHAT THE FUCK WOW. WOW’

ciri you are gonna regret stalling so hard when mr. ceallach marches in. just saying. RUN.

CAHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR I ALMOST SCREAMED AND TORE MY STITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh.... ok...................... hm not what happened in the books.... where ciri is shot off in the midst of battle and crawls up next to a dead man and acts dead ........ lol cahir is even more evil now how is this possible i didnt think he could get MORE evil

[cahir voice] he deflected the arrow with his sword! ive never seen anything like it!

also have i said already that the cinematography is amazing. like the room where calanthe was on her deathbed.... that renfri dream was pretty cool too... just a lot of things are very pleasing to the eye

due to a injury in the carotid artery blood would be gushing everywhere. also is she prophecizing ciri? stop this there are already so many women in the witcher universe that give prophecy. theres like the girl in baptism of fire, ciri, everyone in ciri’s bloodline, and now renfri?

LOOOOLLLL THE HORSE

cahir: nice, GG guys, im gonna go get that cool promotion now, this will be epic, my mom will be SO proud of me-- ciri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA cahir: OH FUUUUCKKK

well that’s MUCH MORE of a report to file with your superior officers! “yeah so the girl fucking opened up a hole in the earth” instead of “ahh idk i fell asleep and when i woke up she wasnt there :/” .... cahir really is not getting that promotion now, huh

okay yall can say whatever you want about cavill as geralt but when he said “do not touch her” and moved his mouth like that? oh geraltisms.

this is a really nice episode i like how it just went into the action i wasnt convinced at first but ah this is quite nice. i like how it has JUST geralt and ciri in it and later yennefer will come in as her mom. renfri prophecizing was actually pretty ok, at first i thought i wouldnt like the change, but it makes it easier to digest for television. i like how they really emphasize that geralt is hated to all hell, and that ciri is powerful yet still babie. this is a good portrayal of both of them in these stages of their lives you know what im saying. also is cahir gonna chase ciri now for those Good Boy Black Rider points? bc there were shots of him in a forest. ah well whatever lets move to the next episode