#i hope the explanation is explaining but at least i answered it <- doing my best at not mentioning their childhood

[oneroomjestershow]

Hellooo, I was wondering, is Eli insecure with their real form?

(if by 'real' you mean 'true' then maybe you mean their mosnter form? i personally don't consider none of them a true form (or maybe all of them?), but i will take it as that)

At first I was going to say no, but now that I think about it, it would be yes. It's not like they are directly insecure about it, but it's true that that side of theirs fills them with doubt and fear about themselves.

Is like a cycle: Eli's troubles go around losing control of their own body, but their own insecurity and fear about it fuel that idea, and it manifests in small inconveniences, which fuels the idea more.

His own mind it's the one giving them the problem, she has a human mind after all.

For a moment i was going to say no because they know they can induce fear at first sight or damage at the slightest touch, and they are confident about it, but the insecurity comes in other times. Taking care of someone? Petting a small animal? Being too close to people? When he feel damage shouldn't be on the situation is when Eli feels the most helpless and dangerous if they get inside their thoughts too much.

That thought is internalized, it's not like they are directly thinking about it nonstop, but it shapes her behaviour.

[a-pute11as]

stubborn pt 2

summary - part 2 of stubborn, part 1 can be found here

warnings - 18+ MDNI smut, more stalker texts, angst, very possessive alexia, but a cute happy ending

words - 3247

i was sitting on the sofa inbetween cata’s legs with her arms wrapped around me, tears staining my face with a heavy chest. the blinds were down and the only light was coming from the salt lamp in the corner of the room and the tv that was being used as background noise. i could feel my phone buzzing, but that was the least of my focus right now. 

“none of this is your fault, she used you” cata said, running her hand up and down my arms. 

“i let it happen, i was upset about the incident, mapi and i went to a bar and she was there” i sniffled, “it was just meant to be a one time thing but she kept texting and I felt bad and it kept going from there”.

“at least you found out now rather than a couple months later” cata said, doing her best to soothe me. 

“i’m going to sound like a terrible person but -“ i hesitated before remembering that cata wasn’t in a place to judge me, “i just needed a distraction from the whole incident” i confessed. 

“i know how much that affected you, i think we could all see the way it hurt you” she agreed, her hands moving to run through my hair. 

cata had been someone i instantly clicked with after moving to barcelona, quickly becoming my best friend. she helped me build all the furniture in the flat, helped with my spanish lessons and held me when i cried over a women who i thought i had a chance with. clearly not. cata did know all the techniques to help me open up and relax though, which i was very grateful for. 

“did you ever talk to ale about why she did what she did?” i asked, sinking into her chest as i relaxed somewhat. 

“nena, you’re so oblivious, she’s been into you for ages, she was just too scared about how that would effect your friendship” she explained, but that still didn’t answer my question. 

“you know i won’t ever believe that until she’s the one saying it, but did you talk to her?” i asked again, pressing for an answer. 

“honestly, no i haven’t” she replied, i instantly huffed, “but i did overhear her tell jenni that she wanted to make it right” she added. 

as she finished speaking my phone buzzed again, prompting me to pick it up. 

10m ago - unknown number : i don’t think you know how angry i am about what she did to you

she took advantage of what’s mine 

i hate seeing my pretty girl hurt

now - unknown number : i need to know you’re okay 

i’m coming over 

my heart rate sped up, the texts reminded me of alexia. her words rang through my head, they matched the exact phrasing of the texts i had been sent earlier. surely it couldn’t be her? 

and who the fuck was about to turn up at my apartment?

“everything okay?” cata said, peering over my shoulder, “wait who is that?” she asked, her voice filled with a sense of worry. 

i hesitated to answer her, not really knowing the right answer myself “um, i don’t know” i whispered. 

“you don’t know?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

i was quick to turn myself around to face her before i started my explanation on the possibility of who it was, until i was stopped by a knock on the door. my eyebrows furrowed at cata as i internally questioned how that happened so fast, which she shrugged in response. i motioned for her to open it, just in case my stalker had showed up and it ended up being creepy old man that was here to kill me and not the women i’d be pining over.

“alexia, uh what a surprise to see you here” cata said, as her eyes flickering between alexia standing at door and me still sat on the sofa.

my eyes instantly widened. 

“can i come in?” she asked.

“I don’t think that’s up to me” cata said, awkwardly using her body to block alexia’s view of me. 

“cata” she sighed, “can you just ask her”.

cata turned to me in hopes of an answer, causing me to nod in response. with that she moved out of the way to allow alexia to come in. 

“well I’ll wait in my car” cata said, before picking up her stuff and heading out of my apartment to give us some space.

“hola” she said, pulling her same awkward stance from earlier, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as her eyes darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on. 

“if we are going to speak about this could you at least sit down?” i asked, shuffling myself further along the sofa so she had somewhere to sit. 

she sat down but still held an awkward demeanour, sitting herself just on the edge of the sofa, finding absolutely no comfort in the place we once would spend hours wrapped up with each other. 

“please can you just give me a single reason why this all happen, one day we were spending every free second with each other and the next it’s like i don’t exist” i explained, my voice shaking slightly from the mix of emotions being felt throughout my body.

“i thought it’d be awkward” she replied, very bluntly, her voice staying monotone. 

i sighed, “alexia, you’ve seen every part of me, why would a drunk kiss make it awkward, if you regretted it then i would’ve just ignored the fact it happened, but -“ she quickly cut me off.

“that’s why, i didn’t want it to be just a drunk kiss, i didn’t want you to see it as a mistake, i kissed you because i’ve wanted to do it for a long time, do you know how painful it was sitting here with you for hours and not being able to do exactly what i wanted to do” 

“okay but -“ she cut me off again.

“no y/n, you had your go to speak, let me talk” i nodded, she took a minute to adjust herself, appearing more comfortable as she directed her body in my direction.

“we would always talk about the moments we would see each other at international games or champions league games before we really knew each other and how we couldn’t have expected to turn into such ‘good friends’ but i’ve never wanted to be just friends with you.” she took a deep breath. “do you know how hard it is to have you so close to me and not do exactly what I want to you, to not touch you how I want to touch you, to not be able to feel you in the ways i’ve dreamt about, every minute has felt like torture.”

before my mind could even process what she was saying, my body did, my legs instantly pressed together looking for some kind of friction as she spoke.

“the night we kissed was everything i wanted and more, seeing you exactly how i imagined, in my bed was like a dream, i could’ve pinched myself, but we were drunk and i wanted to remember every second of it and i wanted you to remember it too, i wanted it to happen, but not like that” 

“ale i wanted it too, but why did you ignore me after? and then ask for space? that's what confused me” i admitted.

“i think i was ashamed of myself, it was like i lost out on my chance, i could’ve woke up, made you breakfast in bed and asked you on a proper date, but instead i rushed you out and ignored you, yo era una idiota, lo siento mucho. sé que no te merezco después de mis acciones, pero por favor perdóname.” 

i sat with her answer for a minute, processing what she said and the apology that came with it, yet that didn’t explain everything, “can i ask you a question?” 

“si, anything” she nodded, now leaning against the sofa as if she found some comfort in telling me how she felt.

“were the texts from you?” i questioned, raising my eyebrows.

“si” was all she responded.

“por que?” i asked, switching to spanish in hopes that it’d give her prompt for a real answer. 

“i was jealous, you’re mine and that didn’t change just because we weren’t talking, every second I saw you with her or her hands on your body during recovery made me so angry and i assumed you blocked my number after i ignored you at the game so i needed to find another way” her reply was nonchalont, as if she would find it normal receiving the same kind of texts.

her jealously and possessiveness had my legs clenching together further, the heat spread across my body as her words went through my head,  “i thought i had a stalker” i joked, wanting to lighten the mood, “it was pretty hot actually”.

i watched as a smirk grew on her face, her eyes darting down to my thighs as she watched me shuffle in hopes of getting the sensation i was desperate for. 

“oh really?” she mocked, her head tilting, her tongue flicking across her bottom lip. 

all of a sudden i shrunk in her gaze, any confidence i previously had disappeared, and all i could do is nod in response.

her hand reached out and met my cheek, her eyes flicked between my lips and eyes, “can i?” she asked. yet again all i could do was nod.

her lips instantly crashed against mine, any moment of tension had completely disappeared and the way our lips moved against each other felt natural and familiar. she kept one hand on my jaw as she tugged on my waist signalling me to move closer, she guided me as i straddled myself on her lap. her hands moved up and down my sides as i wrapped my arms around the back of her neck. her teeth grazed the bottom of my lip allowing her tongue to gain access to my mouth, winning the battle of dominance before it even started. my hips rocked against her lap, begging her to fulfil the throbbing feeling that was building between my legs.

one of her hands moved to the back of my neck as she tilted my head back to gain better access to my neck, her lips placing desperate but passionate kisses along my jaw before attaching themselves to the spot underneath my ear causing an aching explicit moan to leave my lips. 

“tell me what you want from me” she whispered, her teeth grazing my ear lobe.

“i want you to fuck me” i whined, making no attempt to hide how desperate I was. 

“be specific amor, how do you want me to fuck you?” she pressed, continuing her assault on my neck. 

“ale please, do whatever you want to me, i just want you to make me feel good” 

“eres tan buena para mi princesa, you sound so pretty when you beg” she was quick to use her strength to her advantage, standing up from the sofa with my legs wrapped around her waist and her hands resting underneath my arse as she walked into the bedroom and dropped me onto the bed. 

“take it off” she demanded, lifting her own top over her head and discarding it on the floor. 

i’d seen her without a shirt on many times, mostly in the team locker rooms, but this was something else. my eyes traced down her torso, taking in every part of her incredibly toned body, looking at her felt like looking at a piece of art that hung in the louvre yet as she stood in front of me all i could think about was how lucky i was to be the only one seeing this version of the art. 

“i’ve waited long enough, don’t make me rip it off of you” she demanded, snapping me out of my gaze as she reached to tug at the hem of my t-shirt. 

i was quick to comply, pulling my t-shirt over my head and shuffling my shorts down my legs before kicking them off the end of my bed and propping myself up on the pillows. 

“i’d love to say i’m going to tease you and see how long you it takes to break you but i don’t think i can wait any longer” with that she was quick to join me on the bed, her knee pushing between my thighs making space for her. 

her lips reconnected with mine as her hand traveled down my body, stopping at every opportunity that would heighten my arousal, gripping at my chest before letting her hand trail further downwards. her hands were quick to remove my underwear, granting her better access to what she wanted. she was quick to run her fingers through my folds.

“tan mojada para mi ya” she groaned. my face flushed a bright red as she spoke, but how else could i possible be expected to react with her on top of me, “did she make you this wet?” she asked, the jealousy prominent in her voice. i quickly shook my head, denying the claim. 

“are you going to be loud for me?” she asked, her lips making their way across my chest. 

“make me loud” i spoke up. 

“oh amor, are you getting confident?” she replied, her head raised allowing her to look down on me asserting her control once again, leading me to feel as if maybe i overstepped with my words. 

“maybe” i muttered, barely above a whisper. 

“don’t get too confident or you won’t like the consequences, i want to hear everything, vale?” she raised her eyebrow, waiting for my response but the possible threat was enough to make me quiet and only nod in response. 

my compliant nod was enough for her to reattached her lips to my chest, leaving marks as she went, whilst her fingers began to circle my clit causing my hips to arch towards her hands in hopes to increase the pressure and luckily enough for me she did exactly that. 

she propped herself up on her elbow and watched as her hand pushed me closer to the edge. it didn’t take her long to slip two long slender fingers into me, curling them as they pressed into me. her pace quicken causing me to throw my head back whilst biting my lip to suppress the noises that were desperate to leave my mouth. 

“i thought you were my good girl, do i need to remind you what i want to hear?” she asked not taking a minute to slow down and let me response, in fact pumping into me faster and harder. 

“fuck, more ale please” i whined, the built up sounds of satisfaction finally leaving my mouth. 

“buena chica, you feel so good” she smirked, revealing in the effect she had on me. 

i could feel myself tightening around her fingers, “i’m getting close”. 

“mhm are you going to ask?” she mocked, leaning her lips down to meet mine. 

“please can i come alexia?” i breathed out against her lips. 

“come for me bebita” she whispered before locking my lips against hers. it only took seconds for me to fall apart underneath her, bucking by hips against her fingers as she continued fucking me through my orgasm. her fingers began to slow down to the point where they matched my slow heavy breathing. she took her fingers out, leaving me feel empty without her touch.

“that felt incredible” i puffed out, trying to regain my breath. 

before i could fully recover, alexia was quick to shuffle herself down, placing her head in-between my thighs as she peppered kisses along my inner thighs. her arms wrapped around my thighs, holding me down in the exact position she wanted me in. 

“ale i don’t know if i can -“ i was quickly cut off.

“one more please, let me taste you” i knew she wasn’t asking me and that it was more of statement of what she was about to do. before i could agree her tongue made quick work in heightening my senses again. 

her tongue flicked across my clit, making me squirm under her grasp, i could feel myself building up easily considering i had barely had a minute to breathe after her first take over of my body. 

“you taste so fucking good” her words vibrated against me, sending me further into a pool of pleasure. 

i could feel myself coming undone underneath her again, her tongue worked expertly, “can i ale, for you please” i pleaded.

“yes, i want everyone hear it” her permission made me buckle, my moans getting louder as her movements pushed me over the edge. 

she was quick to move herself back up to my face, placing one hand on my cheek as she smashed her lips into mine, allowing me to taste myself, she pulled away with a smile painted across her face, grinning as if she won the lottery. she fell next to me, her head turning to meet my direction. I had imagined what it would be like to lay next to her in this way, after doing something you wouldn’t necessarily do with a ‘close friend’ and yet this feeling surpassed it.

“that was everything i’ve ever wanted” i smiled.

“me too” she said, returning my smile. we sat in a comfortable silence, both with grins stuck across our face smiling like two teenagers who had just kissed for the first time. 

“sooo, did i fuck you better than she did?” she asked, breaking the silence with a question that i knew was laced with jealousy.

i giggled slightly, “yes, of course you did”.

“good, i don’t think i could forgive you if that answer was any different” her hand reached out to tuck a stray hair behind my ear, her hand resting against my cheek. 

“you’re such a mix of jealousy and stubbornness” i commented. 

“how could i not be jealous of someone touching what belongs to me” she smiled innocently as if what she just said wasn’t one of the hottest things possible. 

in that moment all my angst towards her disappear. this was everything i had been waiting for for months, even after she ignored me for weeks i couldn’t not give into her, especially with a smile like hers and definitely when her fingers were inside of me.

she pulled me into her chest, her arms wrapping around me as if they were made for it, i felt a level of comfort that i hadn’t felt since the day after the incident.

alexia’s phone buzzed from the floor as she reached over to grab it. 

cata : i came back to check on y/n but by the sounds of it, you two are all good now, i’m never forgiving you for the things i heard

“well your bestfriend heard everything, so good luck with that” she laughed, flashing her phone in my direction.

you would think i’d feel somewhat embarrassed, but not this time “so so worth it”, i grinned.

a/n - first time writing smut so any feedback is very much appreciated, any spelling or grammar mistakes is because google docs is homophobic

[violestars]

𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: Sunday x male reader

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: childhood friends to best friends to nothing au, where rejecting your confession is worth more than the pain of infecting your perfect image with his sinful existence.

𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: not proof read, !!only male readers!!

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: yandere-ish?,maybe ooc, mention of religion, implied homophobia, angst no comfort, just depressing.

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨: part 1, part 2

Your childhood friend is a rather confusing fellow, to the point where one would think his significant other, if he ever has one, is the type to do riddles for fun. You also love riddles but moreover, you love him. Can anyone blame you? You were consumed by these feelings in your undeveloped mind. Seven was the age you fell for Sunday, for the charming boy that is your childhood friend. Maybe it was just some puppy love between two foolish kids but no one can explain the bubbling excitement in your stomach whenever a barely visible pout was drawn on his face, whenever he uses sugar coated words to kindly ask others to leave you two alone or how his clinginess to you was shown so slyly. You were an equal to Sunday and it has left a sweet taste on your tongue till this day.

As you grow older, your mind started to question this fondness for him. You were taught love doesn't need any explanation but you aren't dumb, there are always reasons behind everything. Even the unknown comfort, warmness one could find in another is also a reason. You knew that because you have experienced it with Sunday but that wasn't your concern, for now at least. Deep down you knew this love for the other male wasn't merely a mystery, your relationship did not belong in those cheap romcoms you two would binge on a sunday night. Was it more evident on the day you went crying to him about your religious mother? Was it because of the warm hands that traced your cheeks, causing you to lean into such softness as he teased you with a coo? How you wished he could repeat his supposedly sin against his perfectionist family's belief was the attraction to the same gender, how the boyish smirk once he admitted how good rebellion feels.

School isn't your strongest suit and you beat yourself up for that, it also didn't help knowing your insecurity enabled the hatred from others. From family to friends, even strangers, their greatest gift to you was just pitiful stares. Sunday was different though, the soft smile that never fails to comfort you, the warm embrace of the only friend you can lean on, he was truly a breath of fresh air throughout suffocating days of school. The only subject you were good at is literature but the skills you've gained failed to form a clear answer to why your best friend has never doubted you. Asking him yourself only made the progress more complicated for both your mind and heart, as he flicked your head and told you about how much he worried more about your efforts than some silly printed texts.

“Your mind is built from poetry, not numbers, my little train-wreck.” You remembered his soothing voice right beside your ear, ignoring his ways with words and how it shaded your tear-stained canvas a light red, you let out a weak chuckle to lighten the mood.

“And yours is built of riddles. I'm not stable enough to solve one right now, Sun.” Your lighthearted response only brought him to laughter, a smile now placed onto your face as you silently hoped he would drop whatever sentimental words he just thought of since it was already as awkward as it could be. Who in their right mind would ask their best friend to climb through the bedroom window just because regrets were hitting too hard at 3 am? The guy has a controlling family for god's sake.

“You let people treat you so poorly just because of a subject, or it is everything about you throws them off. Why, though? You might think you're weird but I feel like you're just performing. A spectacular show that doesn't meet its audience, so desperately wants to be heard.”

As you thought you couldn’t drown yourself in thoughts of him further, this only deepened it. How you wondered if he actually has a third eye, silently guilding your thoughts to their respective docks. In your mind, he is the epitome of elegance, sometimes you wonder if the word is made specifically for him. Sunday is just perfect, while in one way he was expected to be due to being the adopted son of such a high status family, you felt like he doesn't even have to try. He handled stressful situations with ease, he joked it's you who taught him so with your antics. You two are the polar opposite, yet it felt like two puzzle pieces finding each other, different notes that falls in tune. You wondered how he tolerated everything throughout the years, not that you were complaining, it was just your anxiety often questions the authenticity of this friendship but as his hand cradled your face, the usual smile reserved for only you entered the view, you knew the dreams about him were real because Sunday adores you.

Unfortunately, your dreams crashed. You mentally cursed him for ruining everything, but it was not his fault he couldn't reciprocate those feelings, it was not his fault he is destined for greatness and you are the loser that existed. You knew you were being petty but it hurt how everything turned out to be a cacophony in disguise, how you two favored the full moon that night like the way you favored each other. Well, the way you favored him. Sunday wouldn't know all these shameful thoughts, you only nodded at his kind refusal with choked breaths after all. His frown only deepened once he noticed how tears sharp as the finest blade threatened to fall from your eyes and slice through his heart, but he didn't say anything. It hurts that your feelings were treated like a slipped word, a dumb accident, by both you and mostly him.

He knew you're worried, he was trained to be attentive to every change to his surroundings yet here he was, hands in a tight grip like how his thoughts were tied together in a messy knot. Sunday has been avoiding you, not right after the night of your confession though, he wasn't that cruel but he was evil enough to do it after reassuring you, hoping you would not throw away such unshakable friendship. Reason was, Sunday didn't know why he couldn't accept your love, he should have trust in every card he played, that was what they taught him.

It just tasted bitter. He isn't a saint, he hoped you also knew that, his mouth is filled with lies and his existence needs to be soaked in soap. In other words, Sunday is a freak of nature. Him and his sister were adopted to a rich family after the passing of their parents. Sadly enough, he still felt like nobody's son, his every step reminds him of walking on fragile ice under the threatening gaze of his so-called guardians but he still walks anyways. His sister, Robin, has her own dreams to fulfill and no one will dared to rewritte her role into another plaything for the Gods. That's why Sunday will carry all the burdens, the responsibility that will never be put onto Robin's freely spread wings and he works hard to keep it that way.

Sunday lived in this facade that is made of others' desires, he was a trapped bird that pretends to be an eagle, he felt like the strongest piece but never the mastermind. Unlike him, his darling was the salvation humanity carved for all their miserable life, you were the living proof that the lord heard his songs. You slowly metamorphosed into his only God though, Sunday believed his schemes were always concealed because he worshiped you. Sunday believed you didn't exist because he was only worthy of your afterimage. You were and are his 'father', his entire universe. He shamefully found himself praying to your name against the family's knowledge, images of your beauty embroidered in his mind rather than any flight of fancy.

But how Sunday loathed himself, how pitiful is he if everyone were starting to lead their own life yet he was still following a script, how unfortunate is he if the boy of his dreams felt like the vast sky from his cage. Why does one feel deep disgust within but still mindlessly follows the same path? He wanted to fly upward, to feel your touch but the sky is unreachable and so is you. Sunday knows his love for you like the back of his hand, it's more than the platonic feeling towards his sister and the ambition towards a perfect future, it's the only thing the family didn't plant into his mind at such a young age. His love for you felt like the only thing he could freely express.

You knew he wished to live in a dreamscape, where he would generate happiness for the unfortunates but you don't know this dreamland of his sprouted from the purest of love for you. Those troublesome worries won't reach you there, he swore upon his life that he would shield you away from this brutal world in your new home. You only laughed at his silly delusion though, you never wanted to live in a lie and he knew that clearly. Sunday envied that part of you, he detested how strong you are despite all attempts to drag you down but maybe that's what confirmed his feelings towards you.

You were able to confuse Sunday in the best way possible. You could sob about how ugly you are, complain about your failure of a life and hatred for reality but in the end, you didn't mean it. You wanted to live for the imperfect tomorrow, you wanted to erode a stone that is your destiny with him, with Sunday. Yes, that's what you are. So imperfectly beautiful as he's perfectly fake. That's why he would push you away, as unreasonable as his actions were, he will not taint your future and dirty your determination, this kaleidoscoping pain shall never reach your ears. Sunday doesn't want anyone to find out you're his weakness, he doesn't want to acknowledge you're the sweet reality to his pained dream. He was happily in your shadow even if he could catch a glimpse of your performance.

Sunday loves you so he will let you go.

© art by @/Ceoretkr on twt

[eand47]

Chapter VII | A Little Death

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes/nicotine, mentions of sex, mentions of tattoos

Word Count: 21,2K

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NOTE: This chapter drained me mentally and physically ngl… I literally edited it for five hours and still I’m not 100% satisfied with it but my brain is fried as this is idk which day in a roll where I’ve been awake until 5/6am to write… anyway I hope that you will enjoy it as I really tried to make it as good as possible guys. Also most of you are going to hate me for what you are about to read…. anyway enjoy ♡

The songs for the chapter are - ‘A Little Death’ by The Neighbourhood, ‘Attention’ by Tokio Hotel, ‘True Disaster’ by Tove Lo and ‘A Big Jet Plain’ by Angus & Julia Stone.

Yelling filled up the hospital room. I winced when Shanks continued to scream at me. I had woken up like an hour ago. Opening my eyes and seeing that I was in a hospital bed confused and scared me. I didn’t remember anything from last night, since the moment I was with the creepy guy by the bar. But what happened after that I had no idea. The first person who I saw waking up was Shanks. He seemed so stressed and pissed at the same time. When he saw me waking up, the only thing he said was that he was going to call the nurse without giving me any explanations of how I ended here. The nurse came fast and told me she would run some test. When I asked her what happened to me, she just looked at Shanks as she was hesitating if she should tell me or not. In response Shanks told her that he would explain to me. Once she left the room, he told me what had happened and since then he hasn’t stopped screaming.

 “How stupid you are? Explain? How could you take a drink from some stranger then on top of it leave with him?” Shanks yelled. The room filled up with silence. “Answer!” I twitched when he screamed at the top of his lungs. I was in a state of shock as it was still hard for me to process what had happened. My bottom lip trembled, and my eyes were filled up with tears. I have never seen Shanks this mad, neither he has ever raised his voice at me like this. The only thing I had my eyes focused on were my trembling fingers with which I was nervously playing with in my lap.

“Answer.” He said once again, but at least this time he wasn’t screaming, but his voice was still sharp. I couldn’t withhold the tears anymore and they started falling from my eyes. I lowered my head even more as I tried to hide my face with my hair, ashamed of what had happened. Ashamed and afraid.

“I-I... S-Shanks... I-I’m so-sorry...” I couldn’t find my voice. Everything came out as a whispered. “I d-don’t want to t-talk about i-it now... please...” I begged him as a sob left my lips.

“Oh no, we are going to talk about this now.” He said, walking back and forth around the room. “You had no idea, how lucky you got that you ended up in the hospital, rather than God’s know where.”

“I-I’m realising t-this Shanks. I g-guess the security a-acted fast.” I quietly said in between sobs.

“Oh, did I forgot to mention. No, no Foxy.” He stared to laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laughter. His laughter was mocking and full of rage. “The fucking security didn’t do shit, and this is something that I will personally take with the club owners.” I raised my head a bit, still hiding my face with my hair I glanced at Shanks. If it wasn’t the security, then who safe me?

“W-who was it t-then?”

“Your Romeo, who else.” Shanks chuckled mockingly. “I own Ace a big time now.” He murmured but I heard him. My heart skipped a beat. Ace saved me? But how? Panic took over my body again from the fact that I couldn’t remember anything that happened. Shanks started to fuss again but I didn’t pay him much attention this time, last thing I needed right now was this. “I told your father as well.” I snapped out of my thoughts the moment I heard Shanks saying this.

“Why did you do this Shanks?” I cried. The thought of my dad waking up to such news broke my heart. I didn’t want him to worry about me and to know that such thing had happened to me.

“Because he is your father, and he must know how stupid his daughter is.” Shanks spat, pulling his red hair frustrated. “God, I hope my kid is not as stup-“ He got interrupted by the door opening. It was Ace standing at the door. He looked at Shanks first then he moved his eyes to me. I lowered my head again not wanting him to see me in such state.

“Shanks why don’t you go out for a bit? I think you need some fresh air.” Ace held the door open and nodded to Shanks to get out of the room.

“Ace be careful with the tone.” Shanks pointed his finger at Ace warning him.

“Or what Shanks?” Ace crossed his arms in front of his chest, his posture straightened. He wasn’t afraid of Shanks, but he also knew that Shanks wasn’t going to do anything.

“I’m not done with her. She has a lot of questions to answer.” Shanks turned his piercing glance towards me. I didn’t dare to look towards neither of them.

“Sure, but I doubt this is what she needs right now.” Ace’s voice was stern yet protective. Shanks breathed out loudly.

“I will be back in ten minutes and you better start talking when I get back.” He pointed his finger at me this time before storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. I winced at the sound of it. Neither Ace nor I said anything at first. My head was still lowered, not daring to lift it up and look at him. He grabbed a chair and placed it next to the hospital bed and took seat on it. His fingers grabbed my chin gently and lift my head making me look at him. My chest rose and fell quickly as I looked into his eyes. I bit on my trembling lip hard as I tried to not let out any sobs, but the tears escaped my eyes. Without saying anything Ace just pulled me closer to him and wrapped me in his arms. The sob that I was holding escaped my mouth the moment I buried my head in the crook of his neck. I wrapped my arms around him holding on tight for dear life.

“It’s okay, doll.” He cooed in my ear. “You’re safe. I’m here.” Ace whispered the last part. He was gently rubbing circles on my back with one of his hands while with the other he was running his fingers through my hair. I was not sure how long we stayed like this, but he held me until I pulled away from him first. I sniffed and swallowed hard before I could find my voice to speak up.

“Aren’t you mad at me like Shanks is?” My voice was barely audible. I thought I had no more tears left to cry, but one escaped the corner of my eye.

“Oh, I am.” Ace said. He reached with his hand and whipped the tear away with his thumb. I lowered my head again, not wanting to look at his eyes and see the same disappointment Shanks had. He lifted my chin up and made me look at him again. “But I’m more pissed at your friends for not looking after you.” His voice was soft, but his face was stern.

“I’m not a child. They are not responsible for my safety nor my mistakes.” I said and Ace just sighed and let go of my face. He shook his head and closed his eyes rubbing his temples. “Don’t be mad at them I beg you.” I carefully reached out and placed my hand on top of his squeezing it, making him look at me again. His nostrils flared as he inhaled and exhaled before he gave me a stern look.

“Promise you will never ever, no matter the circumstances, accept anything, not just drinks, I mean anything from strangers, especially men.” I have never heard or seen Ace being so serious about something as he was now. I swallowed hard and nodded, lowering my gaze. “Look at me and say it.” His voice became low and warning.

“I-I promise.” I breathed out. He nodded with a huffed, looking away from me. I eyed him and just now noticed how tired and tensed his body posture was. Dark circles were placed under his eyes, which meant he hasn’t slept at all. I looked around the hospital room for a clock. My eyes landed on one placed by the door. It was almost one pm. How long have I been out exactly? Salience took over the room once again, but this time I was the one to break it. “Thank you.” I whispered. Ace tilted his head at me and slightly nodded. “How... how did you find me... like... last thing I remember is being by the bar with...with...” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Chills ran down my back when I remembered the guy’s face from last night. I should have trusted my guts and tell him to fuck off. My breath quickened as I started trembling and Ace noticed it.

“Calm down. Don’t think about it.” He was quick to reassure me. “I went looking for you, as no one had seen you for a while. Just before you went out of the club, I saw your skirt and ran after you.” His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. Something was running through his mind, and I wasn’t sure what it was.

“W-what h-happened to the g-guy?” My voice trembled with fear. A puff of air escaped Ace’s nose in a makeshift laugh.

“You don’t need to worry about it, doll. He has been taken care off.” He moved a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. I gave him a doubtful look.

“What do you mean he has been taken care off? Did the police lock him?”

“Yeah. As I said, don’t worry, you are safe.” Ace gave me a smile, but something in this smile wasn’t sincere. But I wasn’t stupid, and I knew it was pointless to try to get any information from him or Shanks, because if they have sat their minds on not telling me then no matter how much questions I asked I would receive no answer.

“I’m sorry if I destroyed your big night...” I nibbled on my bottom lip. The guilt was written all over my face. “I hope you won’t get in trouble because of me.”

“Didn’t destroy anything and you don’t need to worry about me.” He said as he got up from the chair and ruffled my hair. “I think they will let you go home later today, so if you need something call or text me, okay?” I frowned when I realised he was going to leave now. I didn’t want him to leave. Not yet at least. Having Ace around felt safer than Shanks, mostly because I knew he wouldn’t let Shanks scream at me and right now all I needed was some peace and quiet.

“A-are you l-leaving?” I looked at him from under my lashes as I played nervously with my fingers. Ace was clearly taken aback from my question, which surprised me. He placed a hand on the nape of his neck and gave me an awkward chuckle.

“I, um yeah. Do you want me to stay longer?”

“No.” I shook my head fast. “I-I... No. You have done more than I could ever ask for. Thank you, Ace. I-I... I own you a big time.” I didn’t want him to stay longer, I needed him to do so, but I could see that he was tired and the tension between him and Shanks was visible. He had really done more for me than I could ask for – he did safe my life, as no one knew what that guy could have done to me.

“You don’t own me anything.” Ace half smiled at me and before he left, he stopped for a second and looked over his shoulder at me. “Take care, doll.” He told me before he closed the door behind himself.

It has been a week and some days since the ‘accident’ happened. My phone was blowing after I got out of the hospital. Nami even called me crying and I had to reassure her that I was fine, and it wasn’t her fault. The only thing I requested from everyone were two things: first – no one at our university must find out about what happened as I didn’t want people coming at me and asking me questions and whatsoever, and second for some piece and quiet. Then I had to face my dad, which was the hardest conversation I had with him in a while. He had come here the day after I came back from the hospital. The conversation was long and very emotional, but at least he wasn’t as harsh as Shanks was, and it was nice to have him so close to me again. Speaking of Shanks, he had calmed down, but at the same time I understood where his frustration came from, and I knew that he reacted this way out of love and care for me. My father and Shanks were checking on me everyday to a point where they were becoming a little annoying, but again probably if I were on their place I would have done the same. I was spending most of my days with my father, catching up with him for the time we had spent apart. He was staying over at Shanks place, so it was only at night when I was alone. That was when I would get triggered, but I wasn’t entirely alone. There was always this one person who was checking on me daily, especially at night before I went to sleep. Ace was texting me everyday to check how I was doing or if I was in need anything. Every time my phone would vibrate, I was hoping it was a message from him and when it was my heart would skip a beat, and the smile was immediately on my face. Which was so hard to control especially when my father was around, but I couldn’t stop it no matter how hard I tired.

It was already ten something pm and I was getting ready to go to bed, as tomorrow I planned to go to my last lectures for this year. Even though part of me still wanted to be home alone, I knew that I had to go out and continue with my life. The worst didn’t happen, so I had to be grateful and continue. I was brushing my teeth when my phone vibrated. The smile on my face couldn’t be stopped as I saw from who the message was from. I cleaned my teeth and face fast and grabbed my phone as I unlocked it when I jumped on my bed.

‘Wanna grab coffee after your classes tomorrow?’ I bit on my bottom lip as I started to write a response to his message. I wrote ‘it’s a date ;)’ but just before I sent it, I realised that Ace didn’t mean it at all to be a date, so I quickly deleted the message.

“‘Our spot?’ Yes, this one sounded better.” I said to myself as I pressed sent and waited for his response.

‘Yea, you can call it that I guess.’ before I could respond he sent me another message. ‘What time you be finishing?’

We texted back and forth for good forty something minutes before we said goodnight. Putting my phone away to charge, I exhaled deeply. I couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow. I covered my face with the palms of my hands as I felt blood rushing all over my cheeks. This man was making it very hard to be just his friend.

“Fucking Ace.” I said to myself giggling.

The lectures finished just on time, and I packed my stuffs as fast as possible. Classmates and professors were exchanging wishes and so on for Christmas, but I didn’t pay them much attention.

“Why are you in such big hurry?” Nami looked at me curiously. I gave her an awkward smile as I tired to come up with excuse because I couldn’t tell her that I was meeting with Ace in less than thirty minutes.

“I... you know... kinda wanna go home as fast as possible, because... you know...” Making an excuse with what happened was the worst thing I could have come up with, but right now I couldn’t think of anything else. Nami sadly frowned. She was still feeling guilty for what happened. I quickly went to her and pulled her in a hug.

“Please, stop. It wasn’t your fault at all. If anyone is to blame, it’s me for being so reckless.” I tried my best to reassure her, because it was my fault for accepting the drink instead of telling the guy to leave me alone.

“No don’t blame yourself. The only person to blame is that asshole who did this to you. Thanks God that the security acted on time.” I looked at Nami confused. What did she mean by this? It wasn’t the security that stopped the guy, it was Ace. “Are you really sure that you are, okay?” Nami pulled away and observed my face carefully.

“Yes, I am okay I promise... just...” I paused for a moment. “Nami it wasn’t the security who stopped him, it was Ace.” I chuckled, still looking at her with confusion.  

“What? But Luffy and Zoro told me different story. Are you sure?” Confusion crossed her face as well.

“Pretty, sure. Maybe they just didn’t want to worry you more you know.” I shrugged. This was the only logical explanation behind it.

“Yes, you are right, but still strange.” She shook her head and looked at me with care and worry. “But if there is something or someone you need, please let me know.” She said as I squeezed her shoulders and nodded reassuring her that if I needed something I would let her know. “I know you are not coming to the party tonight, but we will see each other during the break, right?”

“Of course we will. My dad is leaving on the twenty-eight so after it I’m all free.” I gave her a big smile. We bit each other goodbye, and I quickly left the lectures room.

I was walking fast towards the exit. My heart was beating faster knowing that I was meeting Ace in just a few minutes. Just when I was pushing the door to exit our programs building, I heard my name being called. I turned around and I was met with no one else but Dave.

“Hey Dave.” I smiled at him. He took me by surprise when he wrapped his arms around me in a strong hug. I was not only surprised but confused as well. I slowly raised my hands and patted his back. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m the one who should ask you this. Nami told me what happened to you, and I wanted to reach you out and see you, but she told me you wanted to be left alone, so I didn’t dare to bother you.” He blurted out super fast I almost didn’t catch what he said. I mentally cursed Nami, I asked her specifically to not tell a single soul and of course of all people she told Dave. “Also please don’t get mad at her. She only told me because I was worried about you, and you weren’t here and you also didn’t respond to any of my messages and I thought at first that you are mad at me or something.” He finally pulled away from me and I was able to breath. His eyes and whole face were full of worry and concern. 

“I-I... oh Dave...” I felt so bad. He had texted me so many times during this week and I kept ignoring his messages and it wasn’t even on purpose. “Look Dave, I’m fine. I promise you I’m all good as long as I don’t think or speak about it. So, please don’t worry about me.” I patted him on the shoulder and gave him another smile as I was hoping that this would calm him for now. “And I’m so sorry for ignoring your messages I just wanted to be left alone... I-I hope you understand.”

“Please, if you need something let me know.” He pulled me once again for a hug and this time I wrapped my arms around him too.

“I’m sorry again for not responding.” I said as we pulled apart. “I didn’t do it purposely hope you know this. But I must go now, we will catch some other time.”

“Do you want me to walk with you? I have time.” He opened the door for me and the cold air hit my face when we stepped outside.

“No, it’s okay, thank you again.” I said with a smile. Dave was a very nice guy, and I really appreciated his efforts and wants to be of help for me. “We should catch up sometime.”

“Actually... I wanted to ask you something.” His smile grew and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I know how much you love ‘Interstellar’ and there is this special screening at the cinema next to my place the end of the month and... you know...” He awkwardly chuckled. “I was wondering if you would like to go with me and... yeah watch the movie.” His brows raised, expecting my answer.

“Sure, yeah this would be fantastic.” I nodded eagerly. “When is it?”

“It’s on twenty-ninth.”

“Perfect, then text me more details and we will go.” I waved him goodbye and left before he had the chance to say something more.

The coffee shop was fifteen minutes away, so I fasten my pace as much as I could while trying to keep my balance due to the frozen patches on the sideways. The smile on my face was growing bigger with every passing second. I just couldn’t wait to finally see him. The bubble of excitement was growing in my stomach. A part of me was also nervous as last time we properly saw each other was when I stayed over at his place. I didn’t count the club or the hospital. I was crossing the street when I saw his tall figure. He was in front of the coffee shop, smoking a cigarette. His orange beany that I loved was placed on top of his messy raven black hair. He was dressed pretty casually, a dark grey jacket which seemed pretty light for the temperatures outside and some dark blue jeans. Ace had his phone in his other hand, so it seemed like he didn’t notice me. I mischievously smiled when I carefully sneaked behind him, trying my best go unnoticed. He took one last drag from his cigarette and threw it in the bin beside him. I took this as my opportunity. Now it was the best time to surprise attack him but as I ran, I didn’t notice that there was an icy patch, and I slipped. I fall on my butt and a loud squawked escaped my lips. Ace quickly turned around and when he saw me on the ground, he bust out laughing.

“It’s not funny.” I pouted and tried to stand but it was too slippery under me.

“Yea, it’s hilarious. Did you hurt yourself?” He continued to laugh as he reached his hand offering me his help. I grabbed it with a groan and he pulled me up like I weighted nothing. I was starting to wonder how strong Ace was actually. I patted my butt as some snow got on my coat. I looked up and I was met with his charming smile. “Hey, doll.” He pinched my cheek. A shy smile formed on my face as I bit on my bottom lip.

“Hey, Ace.” I quietly said. He laughed once again and nodded towards the cafe, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led us in. My breath got caught up in my lungs, not only because I was so close to him, but because I didn’t expect such closure from him. Once again Ace was full of surprises when it came to his behaviour. Sometimes he was cold and distant, not in the mood at all, and sometimes like now he was, well he was in a good mood. Once inside we went straight to the coffee counter. I haven’t been here for almost a month. The whole place was decorated with Christmas lights and decorations, making it even cozier. It was busy but not so much so there were plenty of seats. Still with his hand around my shoulders Ace leaned closer to me.

“What would you like, doll?” His voice was low and deep as his breath hit the skin around my ear. I tilted my head to have a better look at him without realising how close our faces were. Shivers ran down my spine. In the past few days, the idea of having someone so close to me was terrifying, even today when Dave hugged me it felt somehow alarming. But having Ace so close, didn’t feel this way, it felt nice and safe. Yes, it did make me nervous, but not for the same reasons if it was somebody else. “Cat got your tongue?” He clicked with his tongue as his smirk started growing. I pulled my head slightly away from him and playfully rolled my eyes.

“I will get a tea.” I returned the smirk. He lightly nodded and pulled away from me, removing his hand from my shoulders as it was our turn to order.

“What flavour you want?” He handed me their special seasonal tea menu. I took a quick look at it and pointed at the one I wanted. “Have you eaten? Do you want something to eat?”

“No, I haven’t, but I’m not hungry.” I said with a half smile. My appetite was very low these days, and I have skipped a lot of meals.

“Sorry, could you please give us a second.” Ace politely said to the barista girl, and she nodded. “When did you last eat?” He turned to me and looked at me seriously.

“Geez, Ace don’t act like me dad now. I ate when I ate, please let’s just order the drinks.” I protested. Ace huffed and turned again to the barista.

“Yea, so the tea, one black coffee and could you please add one BLT sandwich. Thanks.” Before I could say anything, he had already paid. The girl behind the counter said that she would come with the order, which was odd due to the fact that they didn’t serve on the tables here, but I guessed it had to do with Ace’s charming smile. We went to sit at the back of the cafe on one of the small tables there. Walking behind him, I was frowning. Did he ever listen to me? Before we sat down, we both took off our jackets. While I had a thick sweater under my coat, Ace was with a short sleeve t-shirt.

“Aren’t you freezing?” I asked him, my brows frowned as I was a little pissed at him.

“No, I feel pretty hot actually.” He said and sat down. “Till this day Dadan tells me that my blood is probably made of fire, because I always feel hot.” I couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped my lips as I sat opposite of him. Still, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and gave him an annoyed look. “What?” Ace snorted.

“What?” I spat raising my brows. “Could you please stop manhandling me? I told you I wasn’t hungry. And what if I don’t like it?”

“Oh doll, I promise you if you think this is manhandling, I will manhandle you for real and then you will be begging me for more.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smirk as he saw the way I froze from his response. I opened and closed my mouth, but nothing came out. Thankfully the barista came with our order. Ace thanked her without moving his gaze from me. He breathed out and gave me a pleading look. “Eat, please. You told me yourself you are barley eating these days.” I have forgotten that I’ve shared this with him, but still, he should have listened to me. “I didn’t manhandle you, okay? I just want to make sure you are taking care of yourself.” He reached and placed his hand on top of mine. His aunt wasn’t wrong when she told him that he was made of fire. His hand was so much warmer on top of mine. He took it and ran his thumb across my knuckles. “I’ve promised you to not push you to talk about it, but please at least take care of yourself.” I inhaled and exhaled deeply before I nodded and pulled my hand away from his.

“Can you at least help me with it, as it’s quite big.” I said as I grabbed the sandwich, which did look very tasty, and was cut in two halves and handed him one half of it. He pushed my hand back and chuckled.

“How about you eat as much as you can first and then if you can’t finish it, I will help you?” I decided to not argue with him and just nodded taking a bite of the sandwich. It was as tasty as it looked. Ace laughed at me as he saw my eyes widen from the taste of it. “You see, doll? I know what you like.” He propped his chin on his hand giving me a cheeky half smile.

“So what else are you up to this week except rehearsing with the guys?” I asked taking another bite of the food.

“Why you wanna take me out or something?” He said sarcastically, before he held his coffee mug to his lips, taking a sip of it. I knew he was messing with me, but still his response got me blushing.

“Hell no.” I rolled my eyes. “Just curious about your schedule.” I said lifting my shoulder in a half shrug. Ace leaned on the back of the chair and crossed his ankles as he took another sip of his coffee.

“Hm, I have something in mind, but I’m not entirely sure if I will do it, yet. Anyway, wanna come over this Sunday, you have a movie to show me.”

“Why on Sunday?” I raised my eyebrow teasingly. “Why not Friday or Saturday?”

“I’m busy.” His mouth twitched. He was up to something.

“Busy with what?” I squinted my eyes playfully leaning closer to the table.

“It’s a secret.” He leaned in closer, too.

“You have secrets from me now?” I mockingly pouted. He mocked my pout, and I couldn’t withhold the giggle that escaped my lips. I finished with one half of sandwich and pushed the plate with the rest towards him. “I’m full. Thank you for the meal.” I grabbed the still warm tea mug and placed it to my lips, blowing it before I took a sip. The tea was spicy and sweet – a mixture of cinnamon, gingerbread cookie and orange. “Mmm, you have to try this.” I stretched my hands across the small table and nodded my head to Ace to try it. He took the teacup from me and took a sip of the tea. Placing the mug back in front of me, his face scrunched at the taste of it. “You didn’t like it?” My head tilted a bit in surprised as I thought he would most certainly like it. He shook his head.

“I like that it’s spicy, but it’s too sweet.” His mouth twisted as he shrugged. “I’m not really into sweet treats, doll.” Ace gave me a wink.

“Oh, so you are not into me, I see...” I raised the tea with both of my hands covering almost my entire face but my eyes as I wiggled my eyebrows playfully. The confidence that took over me came out of nowhere, which cause my whole face to flush, even Ace raised his brows in surprise. My gaze wasn’t leaving his as he let out a boyish laugher at my comment.

“Nah, doll. Too sweet for my taste.” He said placing his elbows on top of the table and leaning closer to me. I took a sip of the tea and placed the mug back on the table, leaning forward mimicking his position. Our faces were close but not close enough for it to seemed too intimate. We were just looking at each other with teasing looks in our eyes. I tilted my head bit before giving him a sweet smile.

“Don’t worry Ace, it’s mutual.” I winked at him. A short exhale of breath escaped his lips reminiscent of laugh.

“Good.” He said nodding with a smirk as he pulled away without breaking eye contact.

“Why don’t you come over and we watch it at my place instead?” This wasn’t the first time I have invited him over. While I stayed at home for this week and a half, I invited him at least three times and he always brushed me off.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Really?” I didn’t expect this response. I thought he would cut me off again.

“Yea, sure. But I will come late probably, keep this in mind.” He fixed his beany a bit, but his messy curls were still poking from all directions. I would lie if I said that I didn’t want to bury my fingers in his dark locks. His hair was so soft in a way I was yearning to get the chance to play with it again. My fingers still remembering the feeling of when he had let me run them through it while we were high. I was very aware of my physical attraction towards him, there were some feelings that were present, but I had to supress them for the sake of our so called ‘friendship’. Ace pulled me out of my trance state as he called my name. “High up in the clouts?” He chuckled.

“Yes. Quite high.” I breathed out.

“So how are things now with Robin?” Ace asked Law without looking at him. He was too focused on the paper in front of him. It was Friday night, almost past eleven pm. Deuce and Sabo had already gone home after a long day of rehearsing and writing, it was only him and Law left in the studio. Law was taking a little break as his mind was going to explode. They had locked themself in the studio since the morning. Taking a sip of his water Law observed Ace. His postured was hunched and he looked extremely tired. Since they have announced that they will be realising an album Ace was the one who had pushed them to work even harder now.

“Things are going pretty well. We are even celebrating Christmas together.” Law responded. Ace whistled when he heard his friend response.

“You are seriously cuffed m-” Ace got interrupted as his phone lighted up indicating he had received a message. His mouth twitched upwards as he saw who had texted him, which didn’t go unnoticed by Law.

“Mhm, I’m definitely the cuffed one.” A make shifted laughter escaped Law’s nose. “How’s (Y/N)?”

“Better now.” Ace replied as he was typing something on his phone. “Here look at these lyrics! You think they will match the verse you wrote?” Without moving his eyes from his phone Ace handed Law the piece of paper he was focused on before his phone distracted him. Law grabbed the paper and observed the lyrics.

Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human

Law hummed once he read the lyrics. They were going to do good as a chorus. His eyes moved back to his dear friend. He had never seen Ace like this, and the worst part was that Ace was denying it. Ace was still keening on the idea that he was only sexually attracted to (Y/N), and what he was feeling was just nothing more than sexual desire. Yet, if Ace could get a glimpse of himself when he was texting her or just when he was around her, he would probably not recognise himself. Law wasn’t stupid he was very aware of who was Ace texting right now. He also knew what had happened and saw for himself how tensed Ace was the first few days after the accident. And now on top of it these lyrics, which were clearly written for (Y/N). Ace finally put his phone away and looked at Law. Even thought he was obviously exhausted his mood has increased drastically.

“What do you think?” Ace asked, his foot tapping nervously on the floor.

“I think they will do very good as catchy chorus.” Law handed him back the paper. “Also, I already have an idea for the second verse.” He grabbed a new piece of paper and started writing down.

“Don’t you think they are a little cringe?” Ace scrunched his face as he repeated the lyrics in his mind.

“You do sound like a horny virgin.” Saying this Law received a flying paper ball towards his head, but he ducked, and it missed him. Both shared a laugher as Law reached with his hand towards Ace and handed him the piece of paper where he wrote down the second verse.

Dancing through the night A vodka and a Sprite A glimpse of her silhouette A night that they'd never forget

“Do you have any melody in mind for this?” Ace asked, grabbing his guitar and propping it on his right knee. Law grabbed his as well and started to play around with some chords. Ace hummed and tapped with his fingers on his guitar before he followed Law.

“Do you wanna record it and mess around with it more tomorrow?” Law looked up at Ace. Both were quite exhausted, but they could handle one more hour of work.

“Yea, we can do this just so we can work more on it this weekend.” Ace got up and grabbed one of the microphones in the studio adjusting it closer to him as he sat back down. It didn’t take them more than an hour to record an acoustic version of the song. It wasn’t the best but it was far away from the final result of the song.

“Are you going to Robin’s place?” Ace asked as he took a puff of his cigarette. Law and he decided to take a quick smoke before they say goodbye.

“Nah, she is already asleep, plus we start early tomorrow.” He replied before a smirked formed on his face. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Ace raised his brow.

“Come on, bro. What’s going on with (Y/N)?” Law whined, he knew Ace was fully aware what he was asking him.

 “Well...” Ace took another drag of his cigarette. This was a good question – what was going between him and (Y/N). The lust for her was still there, but the more he was getting to know her the more it was growing. But it wasn’t only the sexual desire growing. There were guilt, shame and confusion on the back of his mind. Guilt because he didn’t want to destroy whatever they had going on but also, he couldn’t put aside the thoughts he had for her. Ot top of it he wasn’t blind or stupid. He could clearly see how she would blush or the way her breath would hitch the moment he complimented her or when he made more bold comment, or how she was always nervous around him. Ace also found it super adorable how sleek she thought she was being every time she would shyly check him out. There was also shame – the shame for his thoughts, his actions at times and mostly of Ace being Ace. The shame of who he was and knowing that he might bring this shame upon her was eating him alive from the inside. But more than everything Ace was confused. Confused because the more he was trying to distance himself from her the more he was yearning for her presence. The way he was craving their small meaningless talks along with the deeper ones. The desire to wrap his arms around her and kiss her slowly but passionate until they both run out of breath, but not in a hungry lustful way just a burning sensual kiss. At this point it was taking all his willpower every time their faces were inches apart to pull her closer and say, ‘fuck this’ and get lost in the feeling. And this weird obsession of being able to protect her from any harm. But no – he couldn’t do this to her, not to (Y/N). Yet, he had never felt this way, this desire towards any girl. The only logical explanation was the fact that he had told himself that he couldn’t have her. Yes, this was it. The answer to all his guilt, shame and confusion was because for a first time ever he couldn’t have a girl he wanted. It was all because he put a limit to himself. Law snapped his finger in front of Ace’s face, and he snapped back to reality. “Shit sorry man... um yeah (Y/N)... nothing, just friends.”

“Again the ‘friends’ bullshit?” Law snorted and rolled his eyes at Ace. He threw his cigarette on the ground and tapped Ace on the shoulder two times. “At least be honest with yourself if you want to keep lying to others.” Law didn’t wait for his response and just left. His words stuck something deep within Ace.

“Fuck off, Law.” Ace screamed after his friend to which Law responded with raising his hand up in the air and showing Ace the middle finger. Rolling his eyes Ace threw away his cigarette and grabbed his helmet. He got on his motorcycle and headed home. On the way there he couldn’t stop thinking about what Law had said to him. Ace was honest with himself, after all he wasn’t a kid. He was a grown up and he knew where his feelings stood, and they were nowhere near (Y/N). All he felt towards her was pure lust only because he had limited himself. If he had had his way with her already, she would have been long time forgotten. But now he was stuck in a friendship with her. Not like he didn’t enjoy it, quite the opposite. He really liked spending time with her, it was the fact that he was acting like a horny teenager when it came to her, but he was sure that it was going to go away soon. Maybe the whole protective and caring behaviour towards her was because he was Luffy’s age. Yes, this was it – lust because he couldn’t sleep with her and the overly protective obsession was from the fact that she was the same age as his little brother was.

Sunday came faster than expected. Ace and the rest of the guys were stuck in the studio the entire day. They even called Usopp to help them with producing and final touches for the song. After two long days the song was done. Everyone high-fived and cheered once they finished the record.

“Song number one is done.” Deuce cheered loudly standing behind Ace and grabbing his shoulders shaking him.

“Easy there, Deuce.” Ace laughed at his friend enthusiasm. “Just because we recorded a song it doesn’t mean it will end up on the album.”

“What? This song is getting on the album. The chorus are extremely catchy, so this song is on.” Deuce nudged his sides and Ace whined.

“It can make it to the album, but it won’t be a single, that is for sure.” Law called after Deuce.

“Oh, my big bro killed it with the vocals again.” Sabo jumped on Ace’s back almost knocking them both on the ground. Ace was quick to grunt him. They all sat down – some on the spinning chairs others on the couch, exhaustion written all over their faces.

“How’s uni going Usopp?” Ace was the first one to break the silence as he had propped himself on the couch with one hand on the back of it.

“Good, but I’m so happy we finally got some break.” Usopp answer and turned to face Ace as he was saving some files until now. “How is lif-” He got interrupted as his phone vibrated. “Hell, yeah.” Usopp raised his hands in the air as he screamed like his favourite football team scored a goal in the last second. Everyone gave him a questioning look.

“Care to share the news?” Sabo snorted.

“You guys remember Dave?” Everyone nodded except Ace, he didn’t like where this was going just by the guy’s name being mentioned. “So, my boy is head over heels (Y/N), and I told him to make a move finally and apparently he asked her this Wednesday and she agreed to go out with him and now he texted me that he set his mind on confessing to her.” Sabo and Deuce cheered among with Usopp, while Law glanced at Ace and his face was unreadable like a stone. Meanwhile Ace mind was running wild. (Y/N) didn’t say anything about a ‘date’ with anyone last Wednesday when they saw each other. Was she even into this dude? Speaking of (Y/N) he was supposed to go to her place tonight and watch her short movie, which he had totally forgot about and just now it crossed his mind. Ace got up fast and pulled his phone looking at the time. It was still nine pm, so he had some time to catch up with her.

“What is the hurry?” Sab looked at his brother suspiciously.

“I remembered I have some shit at home I must take care of.” Ace said putting on his leather jacket on.

“You won’t be joining us for a beer?” Deuce frowned his brows as he pushed his thick black glass frames.

“Not tonight guys. Usopp thanks for the help, man.” Ace half waved at them and left the studio as fast as possible. Before he got on his motorbike, he texted her a quick message that he was on his way to her place.  

Ace felt his whole body tensing up, on top of it every red light was catching him. His mind went back to what Usopp said. (Y/N) didn’t mention anything like this at all not even when they were texting. But maybe it was a good. If she gets herself a boyfriend, then there would be even better reason for Ace to stay away from her. After twenty minutes which felt like eternity he parked in front of her building. He pulled up his phone to text her to give him the door code, but his eyes widen at the message he had received from her a little after he had texted that he was on his way.

‘The door code is 7744... also my dad is here, and he said ‘I’m not leaving until I meet him’... hope you don’t mind >.<’ Ace cursed under his breath. Why did her father want to meet him? If he had seen the message earlier, he would have at least more time to prepare for it. He took a deep breath and for a moment hesitated if he should smoke a quick cigarette before heading upstairs but instead cursed once more and made his way to (Y/N)’s apartment.

“Dad please, leave.” I was begging him even before Ace texted me that he was on his way. “I can tell him that you are grateful for what he did that night.”

“Baby girl, no.” My father brushed me off again. “As a father and as a man I must thanked the man who saved my daughter.” Like the diva my father was he brushed his long ponytail on the side.

“You are such a diva.” I whined and checked my phone to see if Ace had responded but I had nothing. He hasn’t even seen the message. I just hope that he would show up. We stayed in silence until I heard the doorbell ring. Before I could react, my dad was already at the door. “No, dad wait.” I called after him, but it was too late. The giggle that escaped my lips couldn’t be stopped especially when I saw Ace’s reaction once the door opened. He got taken aback and blush spread across his cheeks as my father greeted him.

“Come on in young man.” Dad moved to the side and waved his hand to Ace to get in. Ace slightly nodded and got inside.

“Hey.” I softly said as I reached with my hand to take his jacket. He mouthed a quick hello back as he was taking his boots off. Once he straitened his posture my dad patted him on the back and led him inside. I bit on my lip, holding on the chuckled that wanted to escape my lips at the sight of them. Ace was so much taller than my father so the sight on my dad short form pushing him around was just hilarious to look at. They sat on the couch and my dad grabbed Ace’s right hand and shook it firmly.

“Where are my manners? Buggy, nice to meet you Ace, I’ve heard quite a lot about you.” My father patted Ace’s shoulder as he let go of his hand. I sat on the ground and scrunched my faced from embarrassment as I heard what my father said.

“N-nice to meet you as well, sir.” Ace chuckled and glanced at me. The confusion in his eyes was so easy to read. I just shrugged as I couldn’t do anything to help him right now.

“I want to personally thank you for saving my daughter.” Dad’s voice got serious and stern. “Shanks and I own you a big time, because I don’t want to think what would have happened to my precious baby girl if you haven’t interfered on time.”

“Sir plea-” My dad was quick to correct Ace to call him by his name. “Buggy, okay.” Ace chuckled. “You own me nothing, I did what I had to do.”

“Ah, so modest.” Dad dramatically gripped his t-shirt in a fist where his heart was, and I rolled my eyes.

“Now this is his usual behaviour.” I said to Ace, and he laughed.

“She always has a comment to make towards my behaviour.” Dad nudged Ace with his elbow.

“Actually, me and my brothers are big fans of your comedy.” Ace turned to my dad with a charming smile.

“Oh dear, my heart is going to explode. But I’m a fan of your band, too.”

“No way, you are kidding me.” Ace’s brows raised in surprised, and his eyes lit with happiness. He looked at me in a way to confirm if my father was messing up with him or not.

“He is a fan, Ace.” I nodded with a smile.

“Damn... honestly if my brothers know that I’ve met you they would be so jealous.” Ace laughed in disbelief.

“Not to flex but I am a singer myself.” My dad stuck his nose in the air. Before I could say something, my dad started to sing and all I wanted in this moment was for the ground to open and swallow me whole. He might have been a very good comedian, but the same couldn’t be said for his singing.

“Dad, dad.” I called interrupting him. “I think Ace got it that you are vocally gifted, no need for more.”

“If you need a back singer, you could always call me.” He winked at Ace and who started to laugh. One thing about Ace that I adored was the fact that when he was truly feeling a certain way his whole body was showing it. Like right now, his boyish laugher filled up the room while his shoulders and stomach muscles were flexing. His smile was reaching his eyes, and I took a mental picture of this moment in my mind.

“I would definitely make this phone call Buggy.” Ace said once his laugher calmed.

“Talking about singing, have you heard my daughter singing?” Dad turned to me; his eyes filled with mischievous.

“Never.” Ace turned his attention to me as well.

“And you won’t.” I was quick to say.

“Ace, buddy – imagine this.” Dad wrapped his arm around Ace broad shoulders and started to paint a picture with his other hand. “Imagine a deaf person who gets their hearing back and then they hear my daughter sing. Tears start to fall from their eyes, but not from the beauty of her voice but because they are wishing to turn back time and never hear a sound again.” Ace looked at me and his face scrunched as he shook his head.

“Poor deaf person.” He said as he winked at me.

“Hey, I sing bad but not this bad.” I was quick to defend myself.

“You know when she was around four years old, she found an ukulele.” I covered my face with the palms of my hands as I could easily die from embarrassment knowing which story my father was about to tell him. “She then proceeded lock me in her bedroom and until she was done with the three hour performance which mind you ended with the words ‘daddy I think I’m going to shit myself’ I had to endure- ” I was quick to interrupt him as Ace heard enough. Ace on the other hand, had his head back as he was laughing hard while holding on his stomach.

“Dad... I think it’s time for you to leave.”  

“Oh, come on. You were adorable. Should I tell him your beans story from when you were nineteen.” My dad wanted to die tonight.

“Okay, that was enough.” I got up on my feet and went to grab my father to leave. Him and Ace tried to protest but dad got the hint.

“Well, Ace it was a pleasure to meet you and again thank you.” He grabbed his hand again and shook it before he got up. My mouth set in a hard line as I shoot my eyes to the door making my dad leave faster. “Okay, okay I’m leaving, relax.” Dad quickly put his jacket and boots. Ace got up and got closer to me and my dad.

“It was nice to meet you as well Buggy, hopefully we get to meet some time again.” Ace said to my dad who was at the door. I was wrapped in a crushing hug by him, and he wasn’t letting me go.

“Oh, we are meeting again this is for sure.” Dad realised me from his grip and grabbed the door handle to open the door. Just before he closed it, he stopped and looked at me and Ace. “And don’t forget condoms, I’m too young to become a grandpa.” Before I could curse my father, he the shut the door closed and his loud laugher could be heard in the hallway of the building.

“I-I’m so, so s-sorry.” I turned back to Ace who had the same was holding his laughter. “He was kidding, and he is too much sometimes, like he is such a diva.” I raised my hands in the air as I passed by Ace to go and sit on the couch. He shook his head, and laugher left his lips.

“I think his advice was pretty good.” Ace smirked as he sat next to me, propping one hand on the back of the sofa. I leaned on his shoulder and tilted my head to have a better look at him.

“Ha-ha, you two should do a stand up together.” I said with a mocking tone.  

“Oh, someone is sassy tonight.” Ace lowered his head a bit which led to his face coming closer to mine.

“You just met the diva who raised me, is a little sass too much now?” I raised my brow and fluttered my eyelashes.

“You are never too much, doll.” He cupped my cheek with his free hand and caressed it. Even though my pulse has increased because of how intimate it felt to be this close to him, but at the same time it felt so right and natural. I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way. My eyes drafted to his lips, his full and alluring lips. They curved in a little smile and moved. I moved my eyes back to his eyes and questionably hummed as I didn’t hear what he said. He smirked and whispered him my ear.

“As I recall we have a movie to watch.”

“Yes, right.” I breathed out and quickly got up from the couch. Clearing my throat, I looked around and saw my laptop laying on my bed. I sat on my bed and opened it. “Okay, found it. Come.” I patted my bed without realising how me inviting him to come and sit on my bed might come off as. I looked at him and tilted my head to the bed. “Ace, come.” He finally got up and crossed the room in just six steps and stood in front of my bed. I moved and positioned myself next to the wall as I leaned my body on the headboard. Ace did the same as me, but he kept some distance, and then it hit me.

“U-um if you feel m-more comfortable on the couch we can move there.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He said and pointed with his chin towards the laptop to play the movie.

“Oh my, I forgot to ask you if you want something to drink?” I slapped my face and put the laptop on the side as I got up quickly.

“Water is fine.” He called after me. I filled up two glasses with water and while walking toward the bed I drank half of mine. Standing next to the bed I handed Ace his glass and he thanked me while taking a sip of it. We put the glasses on top of the nightstand next to the bed. I went to the edge of the bed and crawed on it, leaning on the headboard again. “Can I finally see the movie?” His eyelids slightly drooped as the corners of his mouth turned up. I hummed and grabbed the laptop pressing play. The movie was five minutes long, so it didn’t take much time to watched it. The moment it ended I turned my head to Ace all on pins and needles for his opinion on the movie. He slightly leaned closer to me and looked in my eyes. “That was cute. Not gonna lie, I was rooting for the guy to get the girl.”

“Really?” I smiled biting my lower lip. He nodded. “But did you like it?”

“Yea, as I said it was a cute movie.” He crossed his arms across his chest making his biceps flex a bit.

“But...? I can sense the ‘but’.” I poked his bicep with my finger. He chuckled and took a deep breath.

“Okay you got me. It was a cute short movie okay, but you could do way better than this.” He tilted his head a bit, taking a better look at my face. “But this doesn’t mean that the movie was bad, it means I know you can go way beyond this and kill it.” His voice was low but also soft. I put the laptop on the side and lowered my head.

“Ace... can... can I hug you?” I quietly asked not daring to look at him as my face was flaming hot. He opened his arms and pulled me in a hug. I buried my head in his muscular chest and took a deep breath inhaling the scent of his perfume. “Thank you.” I whispered and tightened my arms around him. He softly hummed in response. I looked up and I saw how he was fighting the fatigue which was mixture of his long day and narcolepsy. “Are you tired? You can stay here, and I can sleep on the couch.”

“No... yes actually I’m tired but I haven’t taken my pills in like four days as I ran out of them and it’s really hard to fight the sleep right now.” His right hand ran circles on my back while with his left he was rubbing his eyes with the back of it. As much as I didn’t want to, I pulled away from his arms but still stayed closer to his body.

“Did you finish the song?” My voice was soft as I tired to keep it low, he was obviously going to fall asleep any second now.

“Mhh, wanna heard it?” He shook his head as he tried to wake himself up. I nodded eagerly as he pulled his phone from this back pocket.

“What is it called?”

“A little death.” Ace handed me his phone and I pressed play. Focused on the song, I still saw how his head flopped on the side as sleep took over him and I couldn’t help but cooed to myself. To be honest I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or he had an episode but I let him be as I listened to the song.

Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human

I wondered who wrote the song. Knowing Ace I doubt it was him, he had told me he wasn’t into writing ‘romantic’ songs, so it was either Sabo or Law. The song finished and I heard Ace sleepy and raspy voice.

“Did you lik- fuck.” His eyes rolled back as sleep took over him again. I giggled, he was adorable and now I knew for sure that it wasn’t just fatigue from the long hours in the studio in the past few days, but he was in fact having little episodes. Ace jerked awake in a few seconds. “Yeah, so you liked it?” He tried to stand but I extended my had and stopped him.

“I can’t wait for you guys to realise it officially.” My lips curved into a smile. “Also sleep, you can’t drive like this.”

“No, I’ll go home just... just...” And another episode. I sighed no matter how stubborn he was his narcolepsy was taking over his body. His whole body jerked as he woke up again. “Just give me a minute or so okay.”

“Ace let me woman handle you.” I said teasingly with a light tone, and he rolled his eyes at me with a snort. “Now get up and get under the covers.”

“I can sleep on the couch.” He protested as he sat up on my bed, but I didn’t let him get up as I extended my hand and placed it on his chest.

“Ace, just get under the covers.” I said, shooting a pointed glance towards the bed.

“I’m with outside clothes.” He got up and crossed his arms, giving me a smart look.

“I need to wash my sheets anyway. Or just take your clothes off I won’t look.” I huffed, he was so stubborn.

“Yea, bet.” He raised his brow and took a step closer to me. With a smug smirk on his face, he took off his t-shirt tossing it on the bed. I was face to face with his hard muscular chest. My mouth ran dry as I draw in sharp breath and moved my eyes away from his body. The sudden urge to clench my thighs as I felt heat rushing to my core was painful. But I couldn’t move as I didn’t want to give myself away. “Hm, yeah... woman handling me.” He teased licking his lower lip. I cleared my dry throat and slowly looked at his face giving all my willpower not to trace my gaze down on his body.

“Stop flashing your titts around.” I hissed but my voice trembled. “You can’t be serious that you are leaving and driving at this state.”

“The episodes will go away soon, no need to worry.” He shrugged as he reached and ruffled the top of my head. I pushed his hand away and sighed annoyed. “Let’s just sit and talk until they go away.” Ace leaned closer to me which made me froze on my spot as the heat in my body haven’t left yet. But he did lean closer only to grab his t-shirt and put it back on. “Weren’t you the one insisting to get in bed? Go on.” He sat down on the bed and patted the side next to the wall for me to get on the bed and sit. I hopped on the bed quickly trying to ignore the wet patched that could feel formed on my underwear and leaned on the headboard. Pulling my legs closer to my body I couldn’t help but clenched my thighs. My eyes shut closed at the feeling it was too much, it was like a torture. My whole body was on fire and all he did was taking his shirt off. This wasn’t the first time I have seen him without one but this time it affected me differently. The lyrics of his new song stuck to my mind. ‘Touch me... just touch me...’ I was screaming inside my mind. As he could read my mind Ace placed his hand on my knee which made my body jerk away slightly as my eyes shot open. He had leaned on the headboard as well but this time he was closer to me. “You alright, doll?” His voice became deeper and raspier. I half nodded with a hummed. “You sure? You seem a little... breathless.” His mouth twitched and his dark brown eyes has gotten even darker. The hand that was placed on my knee slowly traced its way to the middle of my thigh, giving it a slight squeeze. If it wasn’t for the leggings I was wearing, probably my skin was going to be on fire. He knew. The look in his half-lidded eyes couldn’t fool me. I might be lightheaded right now because of my increased pulse and the ache between my thighs but Ace knew what he was doing. He was aware of the state he got me in, and he was enjoying it. “Say something, baby.” Baby? This was new, but the way he said it made it sound so sultry. I opened my mouth to say something, but he squeezed on my thigh once again which draw out a desperate whispered out of me. “What was that?” Tilted his head slightly acting as he didn’t hear what escaped my lips just seconds ago. I swallowed hard and licked my lips trying to think of something to say. Something to distract me from the fire within me.

“Why... why ‘A little death’?” I blurted out. My question was unexpected and while Ace pulled away from me a bit, his hand stayed on my thigh.

“It’s a translation from a French phrase.” His eyes shifted from mine as he turned his head slightly away. Now observing his side profile, it was even harder to read him.

“What is the phrase? What does it mean?” My voice came out as a whispered. A puff of air escaped his nose in a makeshift laugh.

“‘La petite mort’. It means post-orgasm sensation as likened to death.” His index finger was running small circles on my thigh, in a way I was experiencing my own little death.

“I didn’t know you speak French.”

“I don’t. But I know a thing or two.” He side glanced me with a smirk. With one last squeeze on my thigh, he suddenly got up from the bed straitened his back. “Okay, I’m going now.”

“No, stay.” I got on my knees on the bed and held on his hand. “I will sleep on the couch as I said, and you can ta-”

“(Y/N), no.” His tone was gentle but the look on his face was stern. Not only this but this time he turned to me with my name, something he barely ever did. “I’m going home and you are sleeping in your own bed.” I felt like a child who is being scolded by their parents. Lowering my head I let go of his hand and stood up from the bed. We walked to the entrance and didn’t say anything until Ace was at the door ready to leave as he put his boots and jacket on.

“Can you at least text me when you get home?” Leaning on the wall I didn’t dare to look at him. In a way I was exhausted of his sudden mood changes.

“Sure.” He replied as he opened the door. “Take care, doll.” Was the last thing he said to be before closing the door behind him.

Christmas came and went. Early in the morning today Shanks and I sent off my dad to the airport. The three weeks he had been here went by so fast, but it was so nice to be able to spend time with him again. We also got to meet Natasha over the holidays. She was so fun and nice. Having barely six years age difference between us we quickly found things we both like and we talked about going out together someday. Even after all the fun I had, Ace didn’t leave my mind for even a second. Since he was at my place last Sunday the only thing, we have texted each other was ‘Merry Christmas’ and it was me who reached out first. The burning sensation from Sunday night was still so fresh in my mind. Why did he tease me like that? Why didn’t he do anything when he was fully aware of the fact that I desired him, probably more than he did me. Was it because of our so called ‘friendship’? It’s not even a proper one so I doubt anything was going to change if we had lost ourselves in the moment. Or I was entirely wrong, and a lot was going to change if we had done something that night. Deep down I knew myself, he had already swept me off my feet, the fact that just seeing him shirtless got me all heated was enough to prove me that if something more was to happen in the past Sunday, maybe there was going to be a lot of regret after. Maybe Ace was right to stopped it before we both regrated it. Still nothing was changing the fact that I was into him, and this whole ‘friendship’ bullshit was killing me. At least if I knew if it was mutual ‘crush’ it would have been easier. If I knew that he only wanted to sleep with me maybe then I was going to take a step back and rethink if it was worthed, but no. I was out in the dark trying my best to read him and break his walls while every time I managed to break a single brick another thick wall was appearing.

It was around four pm when my phone rang. I put my book aside and grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

“Ace?” I said answering.

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” He blurted out.

“Mm, no. I’m just chilling at home. Why?”

“Cool, I will pick up at eight.” He said and didn’t give me any time to ask anything or protest before he hang up. I moved the phone from my ear and just blankly stared at it. Of course, he had ignored me for days only to storm back like a hurricane. The worst part was that I somehow enjoyed this. As mush as he was confusing, irritating and so suffocating to be around sometimes, he was also my favourite company. Whit Ace, I could be myself and not feel judged or unsafe. He might have been an asshole many times, but he was also caring, protective, fun and quite gentle when he wanted to be. Ace was a bit of everything, and he always found a way to make me melt for him even when I was all mad and irritated with him. Shaking my head trying to come on my sense as I realised, I sounded as if I was in love with him or something. I had four hours until he picks me up, so I continued reading until almost six. Then I got up from bed and got ready. I had no idea where or what we were going to do so I put a safe outfit. Just a pair of jeans and a white off shoulder blouse. It didn’t take me much to do my makeup or hair, so I was done getting ready quite fast. Until I received a message from him that he was downstairs I was scrolling on my socials. Putting my boots and coat on I grabbed a small handbag before I left. Going down the stairs I realise that I had to suffer another ride on his motorbike, which as much as I would have enjoy holding him while he drove us to whatever we were going, the weather was adding to my fear. Taking a step outside instead of seeing Ace leaned on his bike as always, he was leaning on a car. Not like I had a big knowledge about cars, but it was a sport car for sure. He smiled at me when he saw me and opened the door for me once I stood in front of him. I thanked him and got inside the car. Once he got inside and started the engine I took a better look at him. He wore some dark jeans with some grey sweater on and his red beams necklace around his neck. For a first time ever his hair was kind of styled but still messy. This man didn’t know how to take proper care of his curls.

“I didn’t know you have a car.” I finally broke the silence as we stopped on a red light.

“I don’t. It’s Sabo’s.” He glanced at me and winked.

“Oh, this explains the colour then.” I said looking out of the window.

“What do you mean?” Ace chuckled, his eyes back on the road as the traffic light changed to green.

“I can’t imagine you driving a white car. It just doesn’t say... you, it doesn’t say Ace... you get what I mean?” A chuckle escaped my lips.

“And what colour you think will suit me, doll?” He side-eyed me for a second.

“Something black, and big maybe like a jeep or a truck.” I had no idea what I was talking about all I wanted was to avoid traveling in uncomfortable silence, since what had happened on Sunday.

“I like sport cars like this one. I even thought about getting the same one.” Ace said as he lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.

“Where are you taking me by the way?” I shifted a bit on the passenger seat readjusting the seatbelt.

“A friend of mine and their band are performing in a small bar tonight. I saw it earlier today on Instagram and I thought to myself why not, then I called you and you said yes.”

“I never said yes.” My head tilted in his direction, and I saw the way he tried to hold his smile but failed.

“Nah, you did.” Ace said confidently like he didn’t know better than me that he literally gave me no choice. I opened my mouth to say something, but he turned to look at me and we both shared a laugher.

“You are bad at pretending, you know?” I teased him.

“When I want to be.” He replied.

Maybe after thirty minutes we arrived at a part of the city where I haven’t been in so far. It was quite far away from where I lived but it was quite nice. All the streets, even the smallest alleyways were decorated if not with Christmas lights, then with some kind of fairy lights. Ace parked the car on a rather busy street. Before I got the chance to open the door, he had already opened it for. He even gave me his hand as I got out of the car.

“You know you can be quite the gentleman when you want to.” I nudged him on the side as we started to walk. An exhale of breath in a makeshift laughter escaped his lips.

“You said it, doll. When I want to.” He pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his jacket and took out a cigarette lighting it.

“Isn’t smoking bad for your voice?” I didn’t get a verbal answer just a shake of his head. “Really?” I raised my brow as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“It is, but I not planning to quit them anytime soon.” He took another puff of his cigarette.

“You have a lot of bad habits.” I murmured with a smile.

“That’s my charm.” He came closer to me and wrapped his hand around my shoulder. Chills ran all over my body. He wasn’t even touching my skin, yet my body was ready to respond to him. What was going on with me? “We are here.” Ace threw his cigarette away and led me inside a... candy shop. “Trust me.” He let out chuckled as he held on to my hand and looked at me over his shoulder. We reached the end of the candy shop and there was a big door covered with different candy wrappers. Ace pulled the door open and there were stairs leading to a hidden bar. Music and chatter could be heard. “Come on, I’m here. You are safe.” He saw my hesitation and was quick to reassure me that I was going to be alright.

“Promise me you won’t leave me even for a second.” I gripped on his arm as anxiety started to build in me.

“I promise, doll.” His voice was gentle and sincere. I nodded with my head slightly without easing my grip around his hand, but he didn’t protest. The place wasn’t big and not very full. But it was only nine pm so maybe later there would be more people. For an underground bar the interior was very nice. The walls weren’t covered with any paint and were completely naked and it was all bricks. There were led lights on the ground colouring the walls with a golden glow making the place somehow cozy. Ace led me to the bar. Behind the bar counter the wall was divided with two arches which were covered with two big mirrors and all the alcohol they offered displayed on the shelves. “What do you want to drink?” Ace turned to me and moved a stand of my hair away from my face with his free hand.

“Just a coke zero, with a lot of ice, please.” I told him as my eyes were carefully observing the place. It wasn’t a shady place but so was the ‘Ska Stage’ yet my night there ended up in a hospital.

“Doll, I need to use both of my hands.” Ace said and I immediately let go of his hand. I apologised to him, but he brushed me off. He handed me the cola with a glass filled up with ice, while he held a bottle of non-alcoholic beer in his hand. Ace stood behind my back and pointed to a tall table where we could sit. We placed our drinks on the table and took off our jackets placing them on one of the chairs. Ace pulled his chair closer to mine and I was thankful of him and how mindful he was so far. I have relaxed for a bit but still I was a little nervous for later.

“What time is your friend performing?” I asked him while filling the glass with cola.

“Ten thirty if I remember correctly.” Ace took a sip of his beer.

“Have you been here before?” I took another look at the place. We sat between two column brick walls making the space around us a little private.

“Yes, I have. Me and the guys wanted to perform here at the beginning when we started but let’s say someone slept with the wrong person’s daughter.” He lowered his head as he tried to suppress his laugher.

“Oh my, Ace you are such a whore.” I said as my whole face cringed.

“Woah, woah, easy there. Who said it was me?” His brows raised in disbelief of my comment. “Believe it or not, but Deuce is not as innocent as he might look.” My mouth almost fell to the floor when he said this.

“No way it was Deuce.”

“I’m telling the truth.” He raised his hands in defence.

“I will ask Deuce about this.” I pointed my finger at Ace giving him a last chance to be honest.

“Damn, always the worst assumption about me, doll huh?” Ace shook his head, but the smile wasn’t leaving his face. “Okay, ask him, but I promise you, you will be apologising to me after.” He flicked me on the forehead. I pouted as he did so, and he just smirked.

“Do they play the same genre as you?” I was curious as I had never heard of the band performing tonight, but I supposed they were quite new.

“Nah, they are a pop band. I am a close friend with the vocalist, they are very good.”

“Better than you?” I teased him as I nudged his elbow with mine. Ace smirked as hummed left his lips.

“You could say this.”

“No, I don’t believe this.” I scrunched my nose and shook my head.

“Yea, stoke my ego, I love this.” Ace sarcastically said leaning closer to me. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. My eyes caught something behind him, and I squinted to see better. Ace noticed and turned around to see what I was looking at.

“Are those there card games?” I asked and Ace hummed in response. “Do you wanna play?” I placed my hands on the table excitedly.

“Go grab whichever one you want.” He didn’t need to tell me twice as I jumped from the chair and went to look at the games. The one that caught my attention the most was called ‘answer or dare’ so I grabbed it and went back to Ace. I placed it on the table and with a little jumped I sat back on my chair. “What did you choose?” He took the game in his hand and observed it.

“So, you take a card from the black deck and there are four questions, and you choose which one to ask me and if I don’t want to answer I must do one of the dares from the red deck of cards.” I explained quickly as he started to pull the decks from the box. “Do you want to be first?”

“No, you can start.” He winked at me and took a sip of his beer. I nodded and reached to take a card from the black deck. The questions were either dirty or super boring, but I decided to start with something simple.

“Okay, this one: which is your celebrity crush?” I read the card and looked at him.

“I don’t have one.” His brows knitted as thought for a second but shook his head. “No, I really don’t have one.” Ace grabbed a card and smiled. He looked at me with a stone faced as he held the card hidden with his index and middle finger. “What’s the colour of your nipples?” He asked me with a overly sultry tone and I burst out laughing as I knew that there was no such question, but he was referring to a meme I had sent him a few weeks ago. He started laughing with me as I slapped him on the shoulder.

“You are awful.” I said in between laughter.

“Okay, okay. Sorry, doll. I will try to be serious.” He looked at the card between his fingers and read the question he set his mind on. “Did you have any nicknames growing up?” I was a little surprised that he set his mind on something boring and didn’t go straight to the spicy questions.

“Yes, I did, and it was given to me by Shanks and till this day he calls me by it.”

“And the nickname is...” Ace waved his hand to me to spit it out.

“Foxy...” I murmured as I looked away when I felt my cheeks heating.

“Wait, isn’t this also you Instagram name.” He poked me with his finger on the sides and I jumped on my spot with a yelp.

“Yes, this is where my name comes from.”

“Cute. Your turn.” Ace put his card aside and I took another. My eyes lit up as the card had the perfect question for him, something that always slipped my mind and I have wanted to ask him for a long time now.

“Tell the story behind the most embarrassing tattoo you have.” I giggled while reading the card. Ace groaned as he propped this head on the back of his hand. “I’ve actually been curious about this one for a long time now.” I said as he took a deep breath in before throwing his head up and biting on his lip.

“My one and only tattoo happened because I lost a bet against Sabo, and I don’t even remember what the bet was about anymore as it has been ten years now.” I propped my chin on my crossed fingers as I was all ears listening to his story. “Anyway, the loser was supposed to get a homemade tattoo whi-” I interrupted him immediately.

“What do you mean by homemade tattoo, is this even a thing?” My eyes widen, I was hundred percent sure there was no such thing as ‘homemade’ tattoo, this wasn’t some cake recipe.

“There is no such thing as a ‘homemade’ tattoo, but we called it that. Guess who the tattoo artist was?” He looked seriously at me waiting for my answer.

“S-Sabo?”

“I wish. It was Luffy.” He squeezed his eyes shut as I burst out laughing again.

“No, no, Ace, no.” I shook my head as I couldn’t stop laughing. Ace was just nodding his head as he bit on his lips.

“He was twelve, and apparently for twelve years he didn’t learn how to spell my name, which by the way I forgot to mention, I didn’t choose the tattoo, Sabo did.” Every time I thought this story couldn’t get worse Ace proved me wrong. “The misspelling isn’t the worst part, it got infected, and it was not only itchy but also painful. But yeah, after the infection went away, I went to a professional tattoo artist, and they covered Luffy’s messy handwriting so it can look better.” He lifted his shoulders once he was done with the story, and I cooed. I felt a little bad for him, it was a funny story, but he did suffer.

“Why didn’t you remove it?”

“It added more character to me.” He playfully raised his eyebrows and smirked. “My turn.” He said as he took a card from the deck. We continued with the game laughing and messing around. It was his turn again and he laughed mischievously as he read the card. “Oh doll, I think your first dare is coming.” He licked his lower lip as he looked at me. “What do you fantasize about when you... you know... show your body some love?” My face went blank when he read the question with a smug smile placed on his face.

“There is no way this is written on the card.” I snatched the card from his fingers because I was sure he was messing with me, but no. The questing was the real and way more uncensored than the way he asked me. I gave him the card back. “I’m not answering this.”

“I know.” He said and reached for a red card. His brows frowned as he read the dares on the card. “Okay, you choose between these two: sing your favourite song chorus or let me text whoever I choose from your contact list something.” I whined when I heard the dares, but there was no way I was singing in front of Ace, so I told him to take my phone from the pocket of my coat and text whoever he wants whatever as I also told him my password. His brows frowned for a second as he grabbed my phone but then he quickly typed something and put my phone back.

“Should I be worried what you texted?” I wasn’t worried at all to who he might have texted as much as what he might have texted.

“Nah, don’t worry, the person will know it’s from me.” He winked at me. We continued with the game before we got interrupted by someone tapping on Ace’s shoulder. Ace looked over his shoulder and his eyes lit up. “Izo! What’s up, bro?” He got up and bumped shoulders with the guy.

“Hey, Ace. Haven’t seen you in a while.” The tall dark-haired guy said. He turned to me and greeted me as well and I smiled at him.

“Oh, this is (Y/N).” Ace was quick to introduce me. Izo reached with his hand to shake mine as he introduced himself. “What’s brings you here?”

“My boyfriend is friend with one of the band members and we came to listen to them tonight.” He pointed with his thumb behind him where his boyfriend was. “Oh, Ace.” Izo excitedly exclaimed. “He was at your show in the ‘Ska Stage’ and he said you guys were phenomenal. Sadly, I had an emergency from work, and I couldn’t come, but he showed me some videos he took that night and you guys killed it.”

“Yea, even I was satisfied with this performance, so thank you man.” Ace boyishly laughed as he ran his hand through his hair. Someone called for Izo and he turned to see that his friends were calling for him.

“If you guys want to join us, please do.” His eyes shifted between Ace and me. Ace looked at me over his shoulder before he turned back to Izo.

“Some other time man.” Ace told him and Izo quickly got what was going on.

“No worries, guys. Still, you can join us at any time.” He waved us a quick goodbye before he went back to his boyfriend and friends. Ace sat back and smiled.

“You wanna continue with the game?” He asked me but I shook my head. I took a better look around us and noticed how the place was almost full. Until now I didn’t even realise it as I was too focused on the game and Ace. “I will go and get us some more drinks, do you want the same?”

“Yes, and a lot of ice. But... um..” My eyes shifted around, and Ace got the hint immediately.

“You will be able to see me the whole time and I will be looking towards your direction as well.” He reassured me as he placed his hand on my bare shoulder.

“No, this is okay, don’t worry... it’s just...” I felt really awkward as I didn’t know how to say it without sounding like a baby. “I need to go to the restroom.” I mumbled under my breath. Until I noticed how many people have come, I was alright but now my anxiety and Izo mentioning the ‘Ska Stage’ triggered something in me.

“Okay, let’s go first there and I will wait for you outside or do you want me to speak with some girl to come with you inside as well?” Not only his voice but even his eyes were soft and full of concern.

“Just you waiting outside is enough.” I replied. Ace nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I hopped off the chair and we walked to the toilets. He let go of me once we reached the women’s restroom and I got inside. Thankfully there was no queue, so I got inside fast. After I washed my hands, I checked myself in the mirror, everything was on its place even my hair. Ace was waiting for me outside the lady’s restroom as he promised. “Thank you.” I whispered once I stood in front of him. He gave me half a smile and we walked back to the table. Then he went to get us another round of non-alcoholic drinks, which I appreciated because it was nice to be outside and have fun time without alcohol. And so far, tonight I was enjoying myself, and by the looks of it so did Ace. While I was waiting for him to come back, I checked my phone. I had two messages – one from Luffy and one from Dave. The one from Luffy was just ‘Ace xDD’ so I guessed, Ace texted him when he had my phone, and the one from Dave was ‘What time should I pick you up tomorrow?’

“Tomorrow?” I said out loud to myself. It took me a moment to remember that we were going to see a movie. Quickly I responded to him that he can pick me up an hour or so before the screening.

“Hmm, texting the boyfriend?” I jumped on my seat as I didn’t notice that Ace was back. He put the drinks on the table, and I thanked him before I asked what he meant by this.

“What boyfriend?” I snored.

“David or whatever his name was.” Ace smirked before taking a sip of his beer, but the small eyeroll didn’t escape my sight.

“Dave.” I corrected him, as a little sound like laugher puff escaped my nose. “And he is my friend.”

“I’ve heard something else.” He side-eyed me. The smirk was still on his face but the smugness which usually came with it wasn’t present.

“Find a better source then.” I grumbled as I turned my head away from him and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Easy there, doll. Did I step on your tail or something?” His voice was teasing and mocking at the same time. Placing his hand on top of my crossed ones I only glanced at him.

“What have you heard and from who?” The irritation in my voice was more than clear.

“Usopp mentioned you are going on a date with him, so I thought something is going on between you two.” Ace removed his hand from mine and took another sip of his beer. “By the way you react something is obviously going on.” He murmured under his nose. My eyes widen from what I just heard.

“Wait, what? What date? How did Usopp knew about this?” The realisation slapped me like a wet mop in the face. “No, no, no. Fuck, no.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know it was a date.” Ace said seriously and I just shook my head. He bit the insides of his cheeks as he tried to contain his laugher.

“It’s tomorrow and no I had no idea, he just said wanna go see the screening of ‘Interstellar’ and I said yes, because it’s one of my favourite movie.” Slapping myself wasn’t enough and Ace laughing wasn’t helping. “Ace it’s not funny. He is a very good guy, and I don’t want to lead him on.” I whined.

“Doll, how did you not get the hint?” He gave me a sincere look as he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. “Damn, even I feel bad for the guy now.”

“If I knew it was a date I would have never said yes.” I leaned my head on his hand and pouted. “I will text him to cancel.” Unlocking my phone determined to cancel the ‘date’, Ace snatched it from me. “Hey, give it back.” I protested instead he just put it in the back pocket of his pants. “Ace what are you doing? It’s not funny, give it back.”

“Don’t cancel. Go on the date.” Hearing this felt like someone was driving a nail into my heart with a hammer. The small smile placed on Ace’s face wasn’t helping. I did in fact not get hints, because tonight got my hopes up for a moment, but he couldn’t make it more clear than now – we were never going to be anything more than friends. “You never know you might have quite lot of fun. Give the guy a chance.” He winked at me and another nail was hammered into my foolish heard. Swallowing hard I placed a big fake smile on my face.

“He is my friend, Ace, I don’t want to hurt him by leading him on.” I moved my gaze away as I didn’t want to look into his eyes. “After all, playing with someone’s feeling is one of the worst things you can do to a person.” There was a lot of hidden meaning behind my words which I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to catch on it or not.

“Doll –“ He couldn’t finish his sentence as everyone started applauding. We looked at each other and Ace smiled. “I think they are starting. Come.” He held his hand for me to take and I did as I hopped of the chair. Making our way to the small stage Ace stood next to me with his hand around my shoulder, a very friendly gesture. There were quite lot of people around us and it was calming to have Ace keeping me close to him as it made me feel secure. I tried to shake away the pang of pain in my heart and enjoy the night. On the small podium were three people – three boys and a girl.

“Which one is your friend?” I slightly tilted my head towards Ace. He looked down at me and then at the stage pointing with his chin at the girl.

“Yamato – they are great.” I moved my eyes to the stage looking at them. They were tall and very fit. A big grin was placed on their face as they were greeting everyone. They were dressed in a super baggy light blue jeans and a Nirvana sleeveless top with their white hair with blue highlight up in a ponytail. The guys behind them were matching their outfit but in different shades of colour. The guy on the drums raised his hands in the air and counted with his drumsticks three times before they started playing. The melody filled up the space and everyone cheered.  

I'm trying to tell you I'm trying to know you I'm dying to show you Fighting to get you

Their voice was a lot softer than Ace’s but still they were as good as Ace clamed they were.

Soon as you got me You go and drop me It's cool when you burn me I love how you hurt me

Listening carefully to the lyrics I found it ironic. I was strongly relating to the feelings Yamato was singing about.

It's not what you said It's the way you say it It's not what you did It's the way you do it

I couldn’t help but look at Ace. He was enjoying himself, singing along, even tapping with his right foot to the rhythm of the music. Sick and tired of needing your affection I chose to be lonely than live without your attention

The more I was listening to the lyrics the more my heartbeat was increasing.

I scratch your sweet name Right into my skin You left me bleeding But I couldn't give in

The skin on my shoulders was burning with every squeeze, every little movement of his fingers and every time he would run his hand a little up and down along my arm. I wasn’t sure who to curse - myself for choosing an open shoulders blouse or Ace for having this effect on my body.

I swallowed the poison to get infected Give back my heart that your body rejected

I have lost count how many times Ace has started something only to rejected me, and I haven’t realised it or at least I didn’t want to admit to myself as I continued to believe that maybe... just maybe... something might happen between us. But he made it clear – friends. Nothing more, nothing less. After all he did tell me to go on a date with another guy just minutes ago.

I'm standing in the pain That's smothering me It's more becoming my own blood Why can't you see?

While he was lost in the song, I was lost in him. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. I wasn’t the best in faking what I was feeling. Why he couldn’t realise that this ‘friendship’ was not working. This friendship was doomed from the start.

That I'm starving for your love And I need attention Or I'm going to die

Nothing could have prepared me for what crossed my mind. ‘Why couldn’t have I fallen for Dave, instead I fell for you Ace?’ It was like someone splashed me with a bucket with ice cold water. Chills run all over my body when the thought crossed my mind. I had fallen for Ace. I took a step back from Ace, and he turned to look at me. He pulled me closer to him and leaned closer to me, almost pulling my entire body close to his.

“Is everything alright, baby?” He whispered in my ear but from standing so close to me and the music I couldn’t hear him. His breath tickling my skin making it having goosebumps all over. Breath caught in my lungs I tried collecting myself as fast as possible I placed both of my hands on his chest and locked my eyes with his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“Are you okay?” He pulled me even closer and now my entire body was pressed to his as his hand fell from my shoulder to the middle of waist. I nodded my head and awkwardly chuckled.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” He raised his eyebrow doubtfully. Raising on my tiptoes I whispered to him. “Your friend is great.” Pulling back from him still bodies locked he smiled at me.

“I told you.” Ace said removing his hand from my waist and taking a step back. “Wait to hear the rest of their songs.” And he was right. The band was great. The realisation, the feelings they were here, and they weren’t going to fade away anytime soon, so instead of worrying about it now, I decided to just savour the moment with Ace. Everyone was dancing and singing, even me and Ace. Finishing the song everyone applauded, and Yamato spoke on the microphone.

“A special shout out to one of my most dear friends – Ace, who I spot in the crowd. The next song is a special one, as he helped me writing it. So, for you Ace and the pretty girl next to you.” They happily exclaimed on the mic and winked at us with a big smile on their face. Ace’s boyish laughter left his lips as Yamato dedicated the song to us. I bounced on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me so he could hear me better as the song started.

“Did you help writing the whole song?” My eyes filled up with excitement as I was always looking forward for the songs he had written as I knew that when he writes he means and feels it.

“Nah, only the chorus. They are giving me too much credit.” He replied as he turned me around and stood behind me with his hands on my waist. Even though we were dancing until now we didn’t cross any lines, but with his hands on my waist all the thoughts I put aside, run back to my mind and my whole body went numb.

I'm gonna get hurt I'm gonna get hurt

The song was quite heartbreaking if you ignore the quick pop-electro tempo, and you were listening to the lyrics.

Keep playin' my heartstrings faster and faster You can be just what I want, my true disaster

Ace was singing along the chorus with them while his hands didn’t leave my waist for even a second. I leaned my body on his while we were swaying to the rhythm, placing my hands on top of his as he wrapped them around me. ‘Just savour the moment’ was a constant thought in my mind tonight. Sometimes in life what we want and what we get were not always the same thing. I couldn’t blame Ace for the way I felt towards him as he had warned me from the beginning – just friends. Lost in thought I didn’t realise the song had finished and so did the performance until I heard loud applauses around me. Ace pulled away and nodded me to follow him. He led me towards where his friend was as he held me by the hand. His big, yet soft hand felt so good wrapped around my fingers.

“Yamato.” He called out loud. They turned around and their eyes lit up at the sight of Ace.

“Ace.” They screamed and run towards him wrapping their arms around him. Ace returned the hug with one hand only as he wasn’t letting go of mine. “I haven’t seen you in almost two months man, where the hell have you been?” Yamato pulled away and grabbed Ace by the shoulders shaking him. Ace laughed in response as he let go of my hand and then placed it again around my shoulders.

“I’ve been busy with the band, you know how it is.” He chuckled raising his shoulders in a half shrug. “This is (Y/N), by the way.” He introduced me and Yamato’s eyes quickly shifted to me as a big smile spread across their face.

“Nice to finally put a face to the name. I’m Yamato.” They reached for a handshake. Up this close they were slightly taller than Ace and they didn’t even wear heels. I took their hand with a smile and shook it. Also, did they just said, ‘put a face to the name’? Has Ace mentioned me? No, no way he had. They probably meant to say, ‘a name to the face’.

“Nice to meet you, Yamato. Your band is great. And I’m in love the first song you sang, I’m adding it to my playlist.” I returned the big smile.

“Thank you, Ace hates it.” They crossed their arms in front of their chest and stuck their nose in the air, winking at me.

“Don’t listen to them, I love the song.” He said as he rolled his eyes. “You killed it tonight.” Ace fist bumped them on the shoulder and Yamato returned it but instead on the shoulder they hit him on the stomach. I felt and saw how Ace’s muscles tense as Yamato wasn’t being light with their punches.

“We used to go kickboxing together, he is fine don’t worry.” Yamato turned to me as they noticed my reaction to their strange encounter. Their bandmates called out for them and Yamato groan. “Are you leaving immediately? We can grab a drink or two.” Their smile widened and eyes filled with a sparkle. Yamato was full of energy like they had just woken up. Ace looked at me asking me with his eyes if I wanted to stay longer or not.

“It’s up to you.” I gave him a small smile.

“We aren’t in a hurry.” He said as he winked at me.

Walking back to the car, Ace and I were laughing loudly. I almost tripped which caused him to get a hold of me and balance me back, which lead to more giggles. We had stayed until the bar closed, talking and laughing with Yamato and their bandmates. Them and Ace had been friends for almost five years now and both had found themselves in quite questionable situations.

“Shh, quiet we might wake people up.” I said in between giggles trying to catch my breath from all the laughter. Ace glanced at me and mischievous grin appeared on his face.

“Help, someone, help sh-” He screamed on top of his lungs, but I was quick to cover his mouth with my hands.

“Ace.” I hissed with laugher and looked up to see if we had woken up someone. It was almost three am and even though we haven’t drunk any alcohol it felt like we were drunk. The whole laughing uncontrollably situation started as we went out of the bar and some guy fell in the candy shop knocking two shelves of candies with him. Thinking about it now didn’t seem so funny but five minutes ago seemed like the funniest thing on earth. Ace murmured something in my hand bringing my attention back to him. “What?” Instead of an answer I received a little bite but sharp bite on my palm. “Ouch, are you a vampire or something?” I pulled my hand back and a little bite mark was left on the inside of it.

“I barely bit you.” He took my hand and observed the mark. “You will live, doll.” Winking at me he pulled out the keys for the car from his jacket and opened the car. Ace opened the door for me and I thanked him as I got inside the car. Closing the door and going to the driver’s side once he sat down and shut the door, we looked at each other and laughter burst out again. Ace took a deep breath and started the car. He turned to me and stared at my eyes for a moment.

“What is there something on my face?” I joked as I noticed the way he observed me. Eyes half lidded with a little half smirk on his eyes.

“Nah, your face is flawless as always, doll.” My heart skipped a beat, from all the laughter his voice sounded a little raspier, but adding to the sound of his voice what he said to me add to the blush on my face. Rasing my eyebrow at him questionably he looked at the road and then back to me. “Are you in hurry to go home, after all tomorrow you are going to be busy.” His tone was cocky and mocking but his eyes weren’t. There was something in them that I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but it wasn’t mockery or teasing. Rolling my eyes knowing what he implied by me being ‘busy’ tomorrow I shook my head. “Would you let me take you somewhere with quite nice view at this hour?” And the smugness in his voice and eyes was back.

“Why aren’t you already driving us there is the question.” I teased him. Ace snorted a laugher and started the car. He offered me his phone to play whatever music I wanted but I choose to go through the radio channels instead. Twenty minutes into the drive, I was still changing the radio every thirty seconds. Ace glanced at me for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

“Doesn’t anything suit your music taste?” He asked with a chuckled.

“No, I just don’t know what I want to listen to.” I whined changing yet again the stations. Ace sighed and just shook his head. “What?” Glancing at him he just smiled and slightly shrugged.

“It’s not like I didn’t offer you my phone to play something...” He murmured under his breath. I lightly slapped his shoulder with the back of my hand, receiving a huffed laughter from him. Looking out of the window for a moment, I noticed that we were in the outside skirt of the city.

“Where are we going?” I turned to Ace who was focused on the road, which had a lot of curves and trees surrounding it.

“You will see.” He replied. I took a good look of his face – he had a little playful smile on it, which meant that he had something in mind. Pressing the screen again to change to another radio channel I heard familiar melody. I smiled as I recognised the song and leaned on my seat.

She said, "Hello, mister, pleased to meet ya" I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her

I heard Ace chuckled as he also recognised the song. He increased the volume and started tapping on the steering wheel with his fingers.

She'd drive me crazy, she'd drive me crazy

We both stared humming the song.

Gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane

I glanced at Ace. His eyes were on the road, but his mind was somewhere else. I couldn’t help but smile as he started to sing quietly as he was lost in his own thoughts.

Be my lover, my lady river Can I take ya, take ya higher?

His voice was so different when he sang – the usual raspiness couldn’t be heard at all, instead it was so smooth and alluring. Closing my eyes and relaxing on the seat, all enchanted by his voice. I was quietly murmuring to myself the lyrics. My favourite part of the song was about to come by my breath hitched. My eyes shoot open when I felt Ace’s hand on my thigh close to my knee. He squeezed it gently as he sang along with the song.

Gonna hold ya, gonna kiss ya in my arms Gonna take ya away from harm

His eyes didn’t move even for a second from the road, but the way his muscles trembled and the way the expression on his face hardened didn’t escaped my sight. ‘What’s going on in your mind Ace?’ It felt like the most natural thing in the world to just reached out and run my fingers on the nape of his neck. I felt him tensed and relax at the same time. He side glanced me and gave me a half smile, which didn’t reach the corner of his eyes. There was no trace of his charming or smugness in it, there was only bitterness in it. Taking his hand away from my thigh he placed it on top of mine and gently squeezed it as he removed it from his nape and placed it on my knee. The pang I felt in my chest was agonizing. With two hands back on the wheel the car felt in silence even with the music on the background. And he switched again... Lowering my head I stared at my fingers as I nervously played with them in my lap. I wanted to slap myself. Why did I do this? Why couldn’t I stop myself instead of ruining everything. ‘Good job (Y/N), good job.’ Cursing myself wasn’t enough. At this point I should have learned that him displaying any physical intimacy with me meant nothing, as Nami had said – Ace was a big flirt. Maybe he didn’t even realise it or if he did, he meant it in a different way, whatever this way might have been.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt the car stopped moving. Ace cleared his throat making me glanced at him from under my lashes. He had taken his seatbelt off and turned his body slightly towards me with one arm resting on the steering wheel. Pointing to me with his eyes to the windshield. I followed his gaze and gasped. We were on a very high hill on the side of the road. From here half of the Grand Line city could be seen. Not only the city lights, but the sky was so clear tonight making the moon and the starts shined bright. While we were surrounded by the tall trees from the forest. I was in an awe. It was beautiful.

“How did you find this place?” My voice came out as a whispered.

“By chance.” Ace replied, voice deep but not loud. “I know you don’t smoke but wanna come outside with me for one quick cig?” Tearing my eyes away from the view I half nodded. We went out of the car and propped on the front of it, keeping a distance between each other. It has gotten colder than it was before but the fact that we were this high was adding to the coldness. Wrapping my arms around myself and tightening the coat around me, I didn’t do it only to protect myself from the cold air but the cutting silence, too. Ace lighted up his cigarette and took a long puff from it.

“Shit, I forgot to give you this back.” He said as he pulled my phone from his back pocket. I took it from him and saw that I had a message from Dave but choose to ignore it and answer it later. The silence was killing me so taking a deep breath and chuckled awkwardly. Ace blowed the cigarette smoke away and glanced at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what this reminds me of?” I asked gesturing with my hands to the view in front of us. He shook his head and waited for my response. “Have you seen ‘La La Land’?” I didn’t dare to look at him so I kept my eyes on the view but still could see a little bit of him with my peripheral vision. Ace hummed.

“Yea, and?” He took another drag.

“Well, you know the hill where they were going all the time, this place here gives me the same vibes.” I chattered. Taking a better look at the view in front of us Ace let out a chuckle.

“You know, I can actually see it. You are right.” He took one last puff of the cigarette and threw it on the ground and stomped it. Silence took over once again. The city lights were flickering, and we were surrounded by tall trees and small bushes. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed in silence until something moved in the bush in front of us. Scream left my lip as I instinctively jumped to Ace for protection. He was quick to straiten his position and caught me in his arms as I squeezed my eyes shut burying my face is his chest. Soft boyish laughter escaped his lips.

“Don’t laugh what if it’s a snake.” I squealed jumping on one foot to the other.

“Calm down and turn around, doll.” He chuckled and turned my body around. Hearing a quiet ‘meow’ I opened my eyes and cooed. It was a little stray orange kitten. Slowly but steady it made its way to us, or I should say its way to Ace. The moment it reached Ace, it started rubbing itself on his leg. Ace giggled and squatted down immediately to pet the kitty. “Hey, there. Aren’t you beautiful?” It was like the kitty knew what Ace was telling it and stared meowing. “Yes, yes you are pretty.” I crouched next to him to take a better look at the kitty but also pet it.

“It’s a she.” I said as the kitty had its tail up in the air. “She is quite found of you.” I chuckled as the kitty was purring from his touch.

“What can I say I have this effect on the kittens.” Ace turned to me with a wink. I rolled my eyes at his lame line.

“Cringe” I said yet couldn’t deny him this, he was right.

“You are probably hungry, aren’t you princess? What are you doing here all alone?” The kitty turned on its belly and Ace started tickling her. This was so cute my heart couldn’t take it. “I’m sorry I don’t have any food with me. No, no she doesn’t have as well.” A giggle escaped my lips as it was just so adorable watching him speaking to the kitty with his softest voice like it could understand him. I stood and pulled my phone and took a quick video of their interaction. “Hey, no paparazzi.” Ace turned to the camera with a big grin on his face as he continued playing with the kitten. “No, princess I can’t take you home.” He said to the kitten as it was back on its paws. It meowed at him pleadingly. “I know, I know. But I can come tomorrow and bring you some food, you will be here, right?” The kitty meowed once more, and Ace petted it one last time before it went away. He got back on his feet and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“This was adorable.” I cooed as I leaned closer to him. He looked at me and smirked.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said that cats love me. Literally if there is a cat around it always comes to me and ignores everyone else.” The big smile on his face was like of a kid who just win the biggest toy from the scammer carnival games. “I’m like a magnate for them.” He nudged me with his elbow, and I clicked with my tongue nudging him back. I wasn’t sure how or when somewhere between Ace starting to tickle me and me trying to fight him, I got pinned on top of the front of the car. Hovering over me Ace smirked.

“You know you can’t beat me on playing fight, right?” He let go of my arms and I slowly rose propping on the car while Ace stood in front of me.

“This doesn’t mean that I can’t try.” I teased as I tried to sneak attack him by poking his belly, but he was fast to catch my wrist before I could do it.

“Nice try, doll.” He leaned closer to me. I smirked back and stood up lifting my head to have a better look at him. I was so lost in our little banter that I didn’t realise straight away how close we were to each other. Thanks to the reflection of the lights coming from the city below us I was able to observe his face as much as the light allowed me. I was so used to his freckles that sometimes I forgot how adorable they made him look. The way they were covering mostly the top of his cheeks and a little bit of his nose. And those dark brown eyes, which were staring back at me, I could get lost in them for hours. As much as I tried to fight the building desire in me my eyes trailed down to his lips – his full, perfectly shaped lips. Licking my lips I swallowed hard. This close I could feel his hot breath that was causing goosebumps all over my body. With all my willpower I tore apart my eyes from his lips back to his eyes. But his eyes weren’t on me, they were on my lips. My breath got caught in my lungs as his eyes shoot back to mine. ‘Kiss me.’ I was screaming inside my head. ‘Kiss me. Touch me.’ I was burning, I wanted to scream at him on the top of my lungs. ‘Take me right here and right now.’ He wasn’t stupid, I knew Ace could feel it too, the desire, the burning, the increased pulse – the pleading in my eyes.

“Don’t look at me like this.” He said, his face was hard like a stone and unreadable. His tone was cold and pleading at the same time. Even his eyes – there was something I have never seen in them before, but I couldn’t read what it was.

“Look at you how?” I couldn’t find my voice as my mind was running wild.

“Don’t play dumb, doll. It doesn’t suit you.” His head turned to the side as he looked at the sky.

“I’m not playing dumb, Ace. Look at you how exactly?” I could feel the pulse and the blood rushing through all over my body. Instead of responding he took a step back and went to open the passenger door of the car.

“Let’s call it a night, plus it’s cold.” He held the door open and didn’t even bother to look at me, while his tone was stern and cold. I licked my lips and nodded slowly. Of course, the same old repeating cycle. I slowly walked to the opened door of the car and stood in front of him.

“How did I look at you, Ace?” I didn’t want to fight with him, so I kept my voice smooth and calm. Turning his head away from me again, I grabbed his jaw gently and made him face me. He snatched his face from my hand immediately. “Answer me.” I knew how I looked at him, I knew what I wanted, and I still did, but I wanted him to say it and to give me an answer to why it was a problem. After all... this friendship was doomed from the beginning and after tonight maybe there wasn’t going to be anything left from it.

“(Y/N) get in the car, before you make me do something I would regret later..." He exhaled deeply. "Please...” I got in the car, and he closed the door.

The drive to my place was long... too long. The entire time we didn’t said anything to each other. If I knew that this night would have ended like this, I would have never gone out. The whole car ride I was fighting with the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t sort a single thought of mine and I didn’t want to deal with it right now. All I wanted was to get home.

My street came to the view, and I unbuttoned the seatbelt before he even stopped the car in front of my place. The moment he stopped the car I jumped out of it without saying a word to Ace, and ran as fast as I could to my building entrance slamming the door shut after me the same way he slammed my heart to the ground tonight.

END NOTE: Damn… what a roller coaster, right? I hope you got enjoyed it and had fun with their little conversations and moments as much as I did while writing it. This chapter was supposed to be even longer but I decided to leave the bitter feeling for the next one hihihi ♡

As always feel free to comment, like, reblog as your opinion matters for me ♡ Big shout out to my biggest and loud supporters @3rtxaa @orange-milky @lilink @worstgenerationloser @yourfavarii @chimjii (I’m so sorry if I’m forgetting to tag someone please I appreciate and see every one of you and I send you all the love and hugs in the world 🥹🫶) THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING THIS STORY. I’m not sure it it was going to get far without you.

writing, format & dividers © eand47 fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©eand47, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[lycheeloving]

I'm gonna turn this short little post into a multi-chaptered fic, yay! Here's chapter one. You wake up in the Batcave and you're a vigilante called Nightjar, but you don't know that because you don't remember anything at all. Let's go!

"—ou awake? Nightjar? Can you hear me?"

You open your eyes slowly. Every inch of your body is sore. What happened? You take in your surroundings. Is that some kind of cave?

The guy who spoke earlier is sitting next to you, looking slightly concerned. Why he's wearing a blue mask is beyond you. Or why he's wearing that weird outfit in general... Are you at a costume party in a cave?

"Hello?" He waves his hand in front of your face. "Can you hear what I'm saying?"

"Uh... Yes?"

"Oh, good. We were worried you had a serious concussion, but at least you seem to still understand me. What happened to you, by the way? We found you passed out after you stopped responding to us over comms. Batman is still out there trying to find who did this. If you told us who or what it was, he'd be a lot faster."

You owlishly blink up at him. What is this guy talking about? What the fuck is batman? Also, you were hoping he knew what happened, as you have absolutely no idea where you are or what you did. Or who you are, now that you think about it.

"Um... You really don't know what happened? Because I would love an explanation, actually." You try to sit up, but stop on account of your body feeling worse when you move. You should slow down a bit.

"You don't know what happened?" His eyebrows pinch. "...So you do have a concussion. That sucks. What's the last thing you remember?"

"...Waking up here?" You really don't remember anything else, despite trying really hard. Well, trying as hard as you can before your headache gets too bad.

"Haha, very funny Nightjar. I obviously mean before that."

"..." You just stare at him, and he seems to understand that you're serious.

"You're joking, right?" He starts looking slightly panicked. "What's my name?"

You grimace for a second, before responding: "Uh. Trick question! You haven't told me that yet!"

"Of course I've told you that! Just not today!" Now he looks really panicked. "You don't remember me? At all?"

"No.... But I guess us knowing each other makes more sense than you just being a random guy..."

He turns around and yells through the cave: "Robin! Inform Batman that Nightjar has amnesia!"

You wince at how loud he's being. Your poor ears.

A voice yells back: "What? Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure! Inform Batman. Now." He sounds pretty serious. Seems like the amnesia thing is new. And bad.

He turns back to you. "Do you know your own name? What do you remember?"

"Uh. You just called me Nightjar, right? But that's not a normal name, so I assume it's a weird nickname? At least I hope it's not my actual name. But other than that I have no idea. About anything. Like, where we are. Why are we in a damp cave?" And what the hell is a nightjar? A jar you're only allowed to use at night? What a stupid name.

"That's... I'll explain that to you later. Wait here." Obviously you'll wait here, you don't know where else you would go. Also everything still hurts a bit. The guy leaves in the direction of the other voice you heard earlier.

You hear the sound of a car racing into the cave, and then screeching to a stop. Why is a car driving in the cave? Is that even safe?

You hear multiple voices loudly talking over each other, all various levels of upset, but you can't make out what exactly they're saying. The voices come closer, until you can make out the guy who was with you earlier and two other people. One short and dressed colorfully, one tall and dressed completely in black. Both wearing masks. Of course.

The closer they come, the quieter they get, until they completely stop talking as soon as they can see you.

As soon as they reach you, you say: "What is this, some kind of sad costume party?" None of them answer, all looking serious. Not the time for jokes, apparently.

You remember that you don't know what you're wearing, and reach up to check your own face. You're wearing a mask as well, but that's kind of what you expected. You try taking it off, but it appears to be stuck to your face. You tug at it, but it only pulls your skin forward with it. You try to get a nail under it, but all you get from that is a little electric shock. What the hell?

"TT. You were right, Grayson. They would never struggle with their mask like this if they hadn't lost their memories." The short one says, sounding kind of rude. What is his problem?

The one you already know, who's apparently called Grayson, sits down on the cot next to you and gently touches your mask.

"You have to grip the sides like this, see?" He manages to effortlessly get the mask off of your face by putting his fingers in specific places. You mutter a thank you as he presses it into your hands. You turn it around. It looks very similar to the ones the others are wearing. Well, except for that third guy, who has some cowl situation going on.

Now that you're thinking about him, the third guy (who would honestly look kind of scary if it weren't for the little ears on top of his head) has just been staring at you silently. You blink up at him.

"I like the little ears. They're cute." You mimic his little ears on your own head, which makes you discover that moving comes to you more easily now. You sit up a little bit.

He doesn't even crack a smile. "Hrn. We should scan for injuries. Usually I'd call J'Onn to check their mind, just in case the amnesia wasn't caused by damage to their head, but he's off-world right now, so that'll have to wait. Let's just hope that it really is due to natural causes."

"I don't even know any of your names and you're already talking about some John guy? How am I supposed to keep up?" You don't comment on his deep voice, because he doesn't seem to be in a good mood, but it really is super deep. Like, who does he think he is, Darth Vader?

The serious guy answers in a gruff voice: "Don't worry about it. Can you stand?"

You don't know, so you try to stand up. It's fine! You've seemingly mostly recovered from whatever happened, except for some soreness in your entire body still remaining, but nothing too bad. And the amnesia, of course.

You're led to some kind of medical equipment where they do all sorts of tests. (Robin doesn't stick around to see the results, mumbling something about "school tomorrow", before vanishing.)

There's nothing wrong with you that they can see, other than some cuts and bruises and sore muscles.

"It seems like the amnesia really was caused on purpose by whoever Nightjar was fighting earlier. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find any leads when I was inspecting the scene. I have already informed the others to be on the lookout, but we'll need all the help we can get if the amnesia doesn't go away by itself. I might have to call in the Justice League."

You never understand what the serious guy is talking about. Justice League? And who are 'the others'? This is getting annoying, you don't even know any of their names yet! Except for Grayson, you guess. And one of the two others is probably Robin, the one Grayson mentioned earlier. Probably the short guy, because the other one must be the one who arrived in the car. And his voice wasn't that deep when yelling back at Grayson earlier. Unless there's a fourth guy somewhere in the cave where you can't see...

You slump in your seat.

"Are we done here? I'm tired." You think for a second, remembering that you don't even know where you live. Where will you go? Where could you even sleep? Maybe on the cot you woke up on earlier? You turn around to look at it, not looking forward to spending an entire night on there. It's pretty uncomfortable, but better than sleeping on the floor, you guess. If you'll even be able to sleep with the constant bat squeaking.

"Yeah, we're done for now. I can take you upstairs. Come with me." Grayson says, standing up to lead the way, but the big guy stops him.

"We don't know who messed with their head. Maybe Nightjar has been compromised. They could be spying on us. It's best to keep them down here."

"You can't be serious! We don't even know how long they'd have to stay down here, it could take weeks until we figure this out! They're hurt and confused, we can't just leave them down here! There's nothing indicating that they've been compromised!" You like this Grayson guy, defending you like that.

"Better safe than sorry." You really don't like this tall guy. What reason would you have to spy on them? How important does he think he is?

A new voice pipes up. An older guy you haven't seen before, (but then again, who have you seen before?) he must have snuck in, as you didn't hear him. Or he's been here the whole time? He looks angry.

"Master Bruce, I will not allow you to force them to sleep down in the cave. It's bad enough that most nights at least one of you will sleep down here voluntarily. Your obviously hurt child deserves to sleep in their own bed."

"...Your child? What, are you my dad or something?" You look at the guy with the ears.

The old guy looks even angrier at that. "Don't tell me you have neglected to introduce yourself!" 

"There were more pressing matters at hand." Yeah right, Mr Ears.

"It seems to me like you were done with the medical tests. You couldn't even spare a second to explain anything?"

The old guy, who you're liking more and more, turns to you with a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"I'm Alfred. The young lad over there is your older brother Richard—"

Richard interrupts him: "Call me Dick." So he's not Grayson then? Interesting.

"The even younger lad you saw earlier is your younger brother Damian." He turns towards the tall guy with a stern look.

"And this incorrigible grump is your father Bruce, even if he doesn't act like it sometimes."

There's only one person left whose name you don't know yet.

"...and who am I?"

Alfred takes a second to compose himself, then tells you your name. He seems sad that you don't recognize it at all.

"So I'm not Nightjar?"

"You are Nightjar, but that's not all of who you are. We will explain more about that tomorrow. I will escort you to your room now, so you can get some sleep." He turns back to the other guys, who you're related to, apparently.

"I recommend that you two get some sleep as well, but past experiences have shown me that you won't take my advice."

He then leads you to some stairs, then up them, only for you to come out behind a grandfather clock. Woah! Secret entrance! How cool!

He leads you through a frankly giant house, then stops in front of a door.

"This is your room. I will leave you to it, but don't hesitate to yell for me if you need anything at all. Are you hungry? I can bring you something to eat before you retire."

He's so nice!

"Um, no thank you, Alfred. I'm not hungry, just tired. Thank you for showing me the way."

"Of course, my dear. I wish you a good night."

"Good night, Alfred." And with that, he leaves.

You open the door to what's supposed to be your room. It's huge, but you don't take the time to look around. You don't even turn on the lights, you just stumble towards the bed, pull the blankets over yourself and fall asleep in your weird, costumey clothes.

[moneypowerglorymiddleofmiami]

To Vex A Viscount (of seas and torment entry)

based on this ask ♡

— regency era au

summary: simply nothing more could be required of a perfect evening when invited to a masquerade with the pleasure of vexing an easily irritable viscount.

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader

warnings: none (though please do feel free to inform me if you find any!)

of seas and torment, make do (of seas and torment entry)

⚔°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You thank the gods for the salvation the mask wrapped around your face offers you. It will not do well if the other gossip-mongers see your distaste for the evening's festivities; they'd call you insolent, and you simply couldn't have that if you wished to find a husband.

Truly, you'd prefer readying yourself for a long night of restful slumber than being forced to simper and be delightful in the presence of the ton.

"Lady Jackson." You turn at the sound of your name, the voice all too familiar for you to mistake his identity even with the elaborate mask of golden feathers hiding his features.

"Lord Castellan." You acknowledge the viscount with a pleasant tone, though you were well-aware that the niceties shared between the both of you were merely for show. "Good evening."

"I wasn't expecting your presence tonight." Luke continues, speaking as he moves to stand closer to you. You take a deliberate step away from him, weary of anyone who might get the wrong idea.

"Neither was I." You answer truthfully. "But my mama and brother insisted on our attendance."

He looks down at you in amusement. "I do hope the soiree is to your liking."

"Of course." You nod, taking a sip from the beverage cradled in between your gloved fingers. "Lady Castellan always throws such magnificent balls."

You look for his mother amidst the crowds, her grin wide and welcoming as she conversed with your own.

Luke hums. "It was my idea to make it a masquerade. I hear it's quite fashionable in Italy."

"Ah, that must explain its banality." You twist your mouth. It was definitely a rude response, but Luke, at least once in the years you've known him, has never been offended by your brazen remarks. He took all of them in good humor.

He snorts. "I think it's rather romantic."

"And what do you know of romance, my lord?" You turn to him, eyes glinting in the candlelight as you begin to tease him. "Do enlighten me. You seem to be quite well-versed on the topic now that you've returned from your travels. I assume the continent must have been good to the matters of your heart."

He glances down at you from his peripheral. "It was. Very much, actually."

You raise an eyebrow, an invitation (or provocation) for him to speak more. He doesn't elaborate further.

You turn your attention elsewhere instead, watching as several young ladies are led onto the dance floor by the gentleman. The first few notes of a quadrille hum through the air.

"May I write my name on your dance card?" He asks after a moment, his eyes intently looking at the paper that dangled from a ribbon around your wrist.

You looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. "Me?"

"Surely, you will not have me dance with Percy?" He responds with pursed lips. His hand rises to pinch your card in between his fingers. He raises his brow for confirmation.

Your eyes narrow instantly. Your tone is near accusatory when you voice your confusion. "Why, may I ask, should you wish to dance with me?"

"Must I need a reason to?" He counters.

"Seeing as we've been at each other's throats throughout the entire season, I would assume so, yes." You nod your head. He was acting out of sorts, and it was terribly bothersome. Ever since he returned from abroad, there has been an evident shift in his attitude, more so in his treatment of you. "I believe I am owed an explanation."

You clear your throat, adding: "Perhaps you've taken a sip too many of your whiskey."

"Shall I breathe in your face to prove my sobriety?" Luke remarks dryly. "Indulge me for old times' sake. We learned to dance together, after all."

Memories of a sweltering july tucked in your family's country home came in a vague recollection— guests invited over to stay for a short retreat, taking daily swims in the bay, relaxing underneath a canopy of trees, munching on more sweets tinted blue than you could ever consume again, and a disgruntled gentleman teaching (or at least attempting to) you and Luke the beginning sequences of a routine.

He stands with an arm against his hip, his gaze neutral but his fidgeting made you aware of his impatience. You squinted your eyes as if in thought, aiming to irk him further.

"Vexing woman," He mutters underneath his breath as he grabs the drinking glass from your hold and gingerly places it on top of a cabinet. He takes your hand in his and leads you to the dancefloor just as a waltz is announced.

"Another gentleman's name could have been written on my card." You chastise him. He stretches your clasped hands to the side, his other hand moving to rest at your waist. Though you've not danced with him in a long time, your other hand immediately lays on his shoulder. Both of your feet move in tandem, limbs moving gracefully without much thought.

"I highly doubt it. You've been keeping to yourself the entire evening." He sniffs to dismiss your point. "I must admit, I found it difficult to discern where you ended and the wallpaper began."

You step on his foot. He groans. You smile.

He guides you through practiced circles around the dance floor, never missing a step or beat. His eyes bore into yours, a deep brown that reminded you of chocolate ganache and dancing flames, of warm summers and breezy evenings, of playful goading and a mutual respect, of innocence and an imperciptible heat you've not paid any mind too up until his return.

"You look very lovely." He says abruptly, soft like a whisper; almost as if he had no intention of speaking the thought aloud.

"What?" You reply in disbelief.

"Unfortunate that such a pretty face should belong to a woman with such faulty hearing." He sighs mockingly, murmuring under his breath but loud enough for you to hear. You attempt to step on his foot again, but he moves just in time with an omniscient grin. He repeats his words with more clarity. "I said you look very lovely."

"I..." You struggle for a response. You avert your gaze, blushing. "Thank you."

The music slowly comes to an end and as you separate to bow, he seizes your hand once more. He places a gentle kiss on the back of your glove before turning your palm. His eyes lock on yours as he bends down to kiss your wrist, his lips meeting your pulse. You feel your heartbeat become more erratic with each moment his gaze lingers.

"Well done, sister." Percy claps his hands from behind you. Luke stands straighter, though his lotions are more fluid. "This is the first time I've seen you dance without tripping on your own feet."

"Oh, shut up." You huff, pushing him back into the crowd. Luke follows behind you with a chuckle, his fingers dancing with the ribbon dangling at the back of your frock.

taglist: @ryujinraven (SORRY POOKIE IT SLIPPED MY MIND)

[avocad1s]

Bring Back What Once Was Mine

Chapter Summary: Your presence on Teyvat becomes more apparent. While in Liyue’s Chasm, you notice someone following you.

Characters Mentioned: Multiple Characters Mentioned

Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You've been warned.

Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader

Part Two Part Three (You are here!) Part Four

This probably has some inaccuracies of genshin lore but this is all to fit the narrative of the story :>

You’re assuming that the False Creator didn’t show their face much.

Even though you didn’t want to, you had to cut through a village to get to Liyue but it seemed that no one noticed you. Not by face at least, your clothing was the most evident thing about you.

You let out a sigh of relief, if they showed their face before, it clearly was lost to time. Even the statues that were built in your name were faceless which made things easier.

Liyue wasn’t much further now, you were deep into the forest of Sumeru and once you had reached the clearing you knew there would be a tunnel that would lead to the Chasm.

“Hey you there!” A voice from above called out. “Please help me! I’m slipping!”

In the tree above you, there was someone gripping tightly onto a branch that was cracking. They weren’t that high up, you could assume that if they were to fall they would survive. Although they could be gravely injured if that were to happen.

The branch cracks more and their grip begins to loosen. You look around the wooded area seeing if there was something that would help but you failed to find anything.

“Hold on!” You call out, “I’m going to run back and get something to break your fall!”

They shake their head quickly, “there’s no use, I can’t hold on any longer.” Before the branch could snap fully, their grip fails and they come plummeting to the ground. Without thinking you use the power of Anemo and they land softly in the grass.

They pat themselves a few times, maybe checking if they were actually safe before jumping to their feet running up to you.

“You saved me!” They exclaim a large smile on their face, “thank you! I didn’t know you had a vision! Ahh, you’re so lucky.” You give them an awkward smile but they don’t seem to notice as they continue talking.

“I always prayed for a vision and I think that one day I’ll have one! Then I’ll be able to join the Adventures Guild.”

You tilt your head to the side, “you want to join the Guild? Is that why you were in a tree?”

They rub the back of their neck as their face grows red, “well-er… no. Not really. I was actually looking for this plant that one of the Forest Rangers wanted! I thought that maybe if I found it first I could sell it to them.”

You nod slowly and their eyes widen, “don’t get the wrong idea! I wouldn’t just do anything this shallow just because I want to, it’s just… I really need the Mora.”

You put your hands up, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m just happy that you are safe now. What I am curious about is do you need a vision to join the Guild?”

The give you a weird look, “huh? You don’t know? I’m not sure where you’re from but no you don’t. It does make it easier if you have one though!”

You acknowledge their explanation with a nod.

“Thank you for saving me,” they say softly, “if I were to get hurt or even… then no one would be able to care of her.”

“Her?

“My sister…” they reply, “she’s really sick and I’m the only one who’s able to care for her. I tried praying to Their Grace to save them but I think they want me to figure this out myself!”

In other words, their prayers were never answered.

You felt your stomach twist and a frown crosses your face but their hopeful look never leaves.

“That’s the main reason I want a vision, if I can get Mora from the Guild I’ll be able to get enough money for her treatment.”

You smile forcefully nodding at their words, “you’re very selfless for that.”

They give you a bashful look, “well my sister means the absolute world to me so…”

You look around for a moment then you bend down to pluck a flower from the grass.

“Here take this, if you mix this with tea and give it to your sister she should get better.”

“Huh? I never heard of this plant having any healing properties…”

“Not many people know but trust me, it will help them.” You explain.

“Alright… I guess I can try it. Are you some type of doctor?”

“I am. A traveling doctor to be exact, I’ve used this flower countless of times to help others.”

You were lying of course, but explaining the truth to this person would take more effort and confusion than you have time for. Hesitantly, they take the flower from your hand gazing intently at it.

“Wait I can’t,” they try to hand the flower back to you, “I cannot afford this.”

You shake your head, “you don’t have to pay me anything. Just stay out of trees, okay?”

Their face was unreadable for a moment before they quickly jumped into your arms saying ‘thank you’ multiple times into your ear. You let them hug you keeping your arms limp at your side.

“Oh I’ve truly been blessed!” Once they let you go they lace their fingers together looking up at the sky, “thank you Almighty Creator! Thank you so much!”

Their way of worship was loud, but nothing you weren’t used to. It actually warmed your heart that you could help someone despite all of the problems you were facing already. This person has been praying for help for years and it went unanswered. It amazed you that their hope never faltered, but now they have nothing to worry about, even just a little of your power should be enough to save their sister without alerting anyone to your presence .

Or so you hoped.

You bid your farewell to them as they run back to the village gripping the flower tightly in their hands. It felt good to help someone after so long…

A few moments later, Zapolyarny Palace

The weather in Snezhnaya was cruel and unforgiving, it matched well with the infamous group the resided there; the Fatui.

If you ask anyone besides the harbingers or the Tsaritsa herself, no one could tell you what their true motives are. Once Snezhnaya had shut down their borders many speculated that they didn’t believe in the Creator. Rumors even spread that they had plans of usurping them and taking over Teyvat.

Yet that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The Tsaritsa sat quietly in her chambers, it would only be a matter of time until her wish came into fruition. She only needed two more Gnosis until they can perform the summoning.

The summoning to bring the true Creator to Teyvat.

It was only speculation that it actually worked but it was a risk she was willing to take ever since the wretched one tarnished the world with their presence. Pretending to be someone they’re not. 

At first, the Tsaritsa was fooled just like the other Archons but it didn’t take long for her to open her eyes to the truth. Once that vermin had disgraced her nation by coming here and acted as if they knew her from before. It took everything out of her not to slay them right then and there.

But she had to think rationally, killing them wouldn’t change anything. In fact, it would just cause more problems, but if she could bring the real Creator here then everyone would be aware of the sins they had committed.

Getting the Gnosis was going to be difficult, and sending her Harbingers to go head to head with her fellow Archons was a risk but their devotion to Their Grace was powerful and she believed they would come back successful.

It’s been almost a year since The Doctor had returned from Sumeru with the Dendro and Electro Gnosis. Despite how stoic the Fatui could be it was clear that they were elated, they were one step closer to seeing Their Grace.

However getting into Fontaine and Natlan was going to be hard, the False Creator had publicly expressed their distaste for Snezhnaya and the Tsaritsa so the Fatui’s influence in other nations were slipping.

The Tsaritsa let’s out a sigh staring out her large window, thick snow covered the ground as far as the eye could see and if didn’t seem that the snowfall was going to stop any time soon.

A warmth spread through the Cryo Archons chest, it felt almost foreign, something she hadn’t felt in centuries. She jumps up from her chair making a beeline to the door, she doesn’t acknowledge any of the lower ranking Fatui officers that bowed once she was in their presence.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she entered the room seeing the harbingers standing around the four Gnosis, all of them with a golden hue.

“Their Grace…” she mutters, “they’ve returned.”

One day later

Someone was following you.

It was clear they weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but once you had made it to the Chasm you soon felt the presence upon you.

The Chasm wasn’t being taken care of anymore, despite all of the people you saw around mining or just standing around aimlessly. You could tell that this place was abandoned for a while.

You brush off the feeling of eyes on the back of your head staring at a group of individuals wearing odd masks. Not only that, their clothing seemed to be way too heavy for Liyue’s heat. Yet before you could approach them, a hand from behind you covers your mouth pulling you behind a rock.

“You shouldn’t do that Your Grace.” The feminine voice says, “I’m going to remove my hand but please don’t scream…”

She removes her hand slowly and you whip your head around to look at her. She had slanted bangs and her hair was dark at the top that faded to a blue color, her eyes expressing worry.

“Wait…” you say eyebrows furrowed, “how did you know that I-“

“I’m Yelan.” She says cutting you off, “and those people you were about to approach are the Fatui.”

The Fatui. You’ve only been in Teyvat for three days and you’ve heard of them multiple times.

“The Fatui. Who are these people?”

Her jaw drops slightly, “you don’t…? we’ll it makes sense you wouldn’t know. They are a very dangerous group ran by the Tsaritsa, and for how I know your true identity it’s because of the Fatui. I’m not sure how they know the other… ‘you’ is fake but I do know they are looking for you right now.”

She adjusts one of her bracelets, “you shouldn’t approach anyone you see with masks like that, and you should definitely steer clear from any of the Fatui Harbingers. I don’t know what their plans are for you, but I doubt that it’ll be any good.”

You stare at her as you take in her words.

“But how do I know I can trust you?” You ask suspiciously, “I’m guessing you were the one following me and you just pulled me behind a rock.”

“I’m sorry about that, truly… I was just trying to save you from making a huge mistake. Since it seemed you were about to talk to them… How about this, I’ll take you to the exit of the Chasm? Could you forgive me then?”

You pout a little as if you were a child before nodding, “fine, but don’t pull me behind anymore rocks.”

-

Yelan leads you out of the Chasm steering clear of anyone she deemed suspicious. Once at the exit, she stops walking turning to look at you. “I know somewhere safe you can go Your Grace. If you want, I can take you there.”

You shake your head, “I’m already safe. Teyvat will never let any harm come to me.” She smiles at your sentiment, “well if you’re sure, can I at least walk with you towards the Harbor?”

Normally, you would prefer to be alone, when others come with you they could be a liability and you can’t risk having to save someone right now. Yet you still had some unanswered questions she could answer.

“Sure, only if you tell me more about the Fatui? Who are these harbingers you mentioned?”

Yelan nods. “Of course, there are supposed to be eleven Fatui harbingers but seat number six has been vacant for centuries, all of them are very powerful and not just in strength. They used to have a lot of power in other nations besides their homeland. They even have a Bank in Liyue. Yet when the other… Creator expressed how they disliked Snezhnaya and the Fatui their political power is began to fall.”

‘So that’s why Paimon was talking about how one of these Harbingers were so dangerous and scary…’ you think.

“-when they aren’t in Snezhnaya, most of them complete missions in other nations. The one you’re most likely to run into in Liyue goes by the name Childe, he’s pretty obnoxious about his position as a harbinger. The others are a bit more secretive but you’ll know who they are because of their masks.”

“Yelan I appreciate all of this valuable information you’ve given me and I’ll keep it in mind as I go through Teyvat from now on.”

She gives you a soft smile, “I’m glad I can be of some help to you. Your Grace.”

You two are walking in a comfortable silence, it was clear to you that Liyue hadn’t changed much. Maybe Morax’s Adepti were still running around, you hope to see them soon.

“Hey Yelan,” you say breaking the silence. “How do you know I’m the real Creator? If you don’t trust the Fatui at all how come you believe them when they say I’m the real deal.”

“Hmm-“ she pauses for a moment, “-when I was watching you when you enter Liyue, I just got this feeling and I knew… it’s hard to explain.”

“It’s fine, I completely understand-”

Suddenly Yelan grabs ahold of your wrist, “wait…”

Off in the distance you could hear some rustling, as if two people were fighting. The noise didn’t last long until you heard a clank of something hitting the ground and heavy breathing.

“That’s enough sparing for today Ganyu.”

You eyes widen, remembering that name clearly.

You go to take a step forward but are quickly pulled back by Yelan who holds a finger to her lips, telling you to be quiet.

But it was too late, when she pulled you back you stepped on a branch causing the voice to quiet down.

“Who goes there?”

You hear quick footsteps approaching where the voice was, Yelan attempts to pull you away so the two of you could hide but green and black smoke appears a few feet in front of you before you could move.

The footsteps you also heard stop and you were right, it was Ganyu standing at the top of the hill. The one in front of you was the Conqueror of Demons, or Xiao.

Both of the Adepti stare at you with their mouth agape as you and Yelan stare back, her still holding your wrist tightly.

“Your Grace?” Ganyu begins approaching slowly, “you’re back from Sumeru already?”

Once she was standing next to Xiao she bows to you and he mimics her action not daring to meet your eyes.

“Your Grace…” Xiao whispers, “Please forgive me, if I had known that you’d be here, I would’ve left immediately.”

You tilt your head to the side, “what do you mean?”

He stops bowing but keeps his gaze on the floor, “what you had said, you didn’t want my disgusting karmic debt in your presence anymore.”

You felt your heart shatter at his words. Just what was this False Creator telling him?

You pull your wrist out of Yelans grip approaching the Yaksha. “Xiao, please look at me.”

He slowly raises his gaze, staring at you.

“Whatever that… thing said, I would never say anything like that to you. You two are the first ones I’ve ran into that I actually recognized from the past, so know this, I never stopped caring about either of you. The Adepti still hold a valuable spot in my heart.”

You notice Xiao’s face grow scarlet as Ganyu gives you a confused expression.

“Wait… you just seen us two months ago?” Ganyu questions, “what do you mean?”

You explain how the one they had met wasn’t the real Creator, but someone or something pretending to be you. You weren’t sure of their intentions on this world but it clear that they were hurting lots of people you cared about.

The two Adepti hang their head in shame, it was clear they wanted to cry.

“Your Grace please forgive us!“ Ganyu cries, “we didn’t mean to commit such a heinous sin against your name.”

You shake your head, “it’s not your fault, they have everyone fooled, but that’s why I’m here, to put an end to it.”

Yelan looks away awkwardly, seeing the two Adepti sad and begging for forgiveness was odd but it’s not like she could blame them. If she didn’t use the Fatui to figure out the truth, she would’ve done the same as them.

“I won’t let them cause you any more pain.” You assure.

They pick their heads up giving you a hopeful look.

Xiao knew the second he was face-to-face with you something was different. Not feeling his karmic debt crawling up his back was the most obvious sign, but it also felt like someone had just wrapped a blanket around him. He remembers feeling this centuries ago, but when the other ‘you’ came to Liyue it didn’t give him the same feeling. All he felt was despair and dread, like when he had lost the other Yaksha.

Ganyu, on the other hand, was half human. Although she still felt that warmth once she was close to you, she was still afraid. Anytime the False Creator entered Liyue, they stayed in the Jade Chamber, so Ganyu made it her personal responsibility to care of their every need. Yet nothing she did was right, she couldn’t remember the amount of food and drinks she had thrown in her face.

“Your Grace…?” Ganyu speaks up, “is there anything we can do to help you? We can tell Rex Lapis about your arriv-“

“No.” You interrupt. Immediately Ganyu closes her mouth looking down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just I have people in Sumeru helping me and I can’t risk their lives if words gets out that I am around. Please keep this information to yourself.”

The two exchange looks, before nodding.

“Alright, but if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out…” Ganyu says sweetly.

“And don’t hesitate to call out my name.” Xiao says after.

You smile at both of them, “of course.”

Yelan grabs your wrist gently once more pulling you away from the two, they watch you leave before Xiao blinks away and Ganyu takes off in the other direction. You didn’t worry about them telling others the truth, you trusted them the last time you were here and that trust still hasn’t faded.

“Alright,” Yelan breathes out once you two were alone, “we still have a ways to go before we reach the Harbor, let me tell you everything I know about the Fatui.

You and Yelan never made it to Liyue Habor before the sun started to go down. She had suggested that you should camp for the night and at first you tried to decline her offer but it’s been days since you had last rested so you stopped putting up a fight. The two of you found an abandoned camp, she cleans it up a bit to make it better for you despite you saying it wasn’t necessary.

“I am going to collect some fire wood Your Grace.”

“Oh, I can help you.”

She shakes her head, “no, you need to rest. I’ll be back in five.”

The moon was the only light source you had as Yelan walked off into the forest. You were worried about her of course, if the False Creator didn’t believe that you were dead that could put everyone’s life at risk that came in contact with you.

Not only that, the Fatui are aware of your presence, if they work under the Cryo Archon then they must’ve figured out due to you using your power’s yesterday. You let out a breath, you knew it was reckless to help that person but you still did it anyway, and now Lumine and Nahida could be in danger.

You bring your knees up to your chest hugging them, you just needed a few more days. As soon as you were aware of all the damage the False Creator caused and where they came from you will waste no time putting their reign to an end. You just hoped that everyone in Teyvat can hold out for a little longer.

A sound from outside startles you, it had only been two minutes since Yelan had left the camp.

“Yelan?” You call out softly, “did you get enough wood, if you bring it to me, I’ll light it.”

No response.

You raise a brow. “Yelan? Are you out there?”

The sound of grass crunching under someone’s feet causes you to go silent. You could hear their steps as they approached closer to the entrance. You stare as their shadow grows bigger and bigger and soon enough, they were in view.

It wasn’t Yelan, Xiao, or Ganyu.

He had long golden hair pulled into a braid, his clothes were just as odd as Lumine’s and just by staring at him, you knew he wasn’t from here originally.

“You Grace…” he whispers stepping inside the tent, he kneels down next to you resting his gloved hands on top of yours.

A small smile forms on his lips. “…I finally found you.”

-

-

-

Note: I figured out how I want the story to end and I realized there’s still a good amount to cover. So this and the next chapter are probably going to be the longest in the series.

Taglist: @esthelily @the-dumber-scaramouche @grimreapersscythe @seawater-aurelia-writing @probablynoposts @genshin-impacts-me @issy-lol @undrxtxd

If you’re @ is bolded it means I couldn’t tag you :<

[fen-luciel]

The witches' covenant

Part.1 part.2

Here's the smut story I promised. It was supposed to be short, but of course, I dragged it out. I'm not yet sure if it will be divided into two or three parts, as the original draft is becoming darker than initially intended.

I hope you enjoy it.

WARNINGS!

Smut/Manipulation/coven/dubious consent

Witch reader X Sith Qimir

There are things you take for granted in life.

Breathing is a rhythmic movement of the body, automatic but fundamental. Maybe no one ever explained to you how or why, but you know it works that way. It's natural. Maybe you've never asked yourself because you take it for granted.

Growing up in a coven of witches led to asking a lot of questions to which you often didn't get an answer, at least not a sensible one. I still remember the first times I asked my mother about the thread, actually, I don't remember her answer, but I do remember being confused. I think she wanted me to find my own logic, and if needed, she would correct me. But I was ashamed, afraid of saying something stupid, and I felt embarrassed when the older members gave me that amused courteous smile after I had said something silly. I know they didn't mean to judge me, but the knot in my stomach that formed every single time was suffocating. So, I developed a bad habit.

I stopped asking. I would nod, at most I would ask to have the explanation repeated, but I never took the first step. "Do you understand?" I would nod. "Do you have any questions?" I would deny.

Yes, I had questions. I had a lot of them, many of which kept me up at night, like doubts about the thread, about our coven, about our planet, about what was outside the galaxy... but I didn't ask.

I tried to give myself answers. As the years went by, I realized that I wasn't the only one without answers. It was clear that many, like me, blindly followed my mother's will as the head of the coven.

Do you have a doubt? Talk to Aniseya.

Don't know what to do? Aniseya.

Are you suffering? Talk to Mother Aniseya.

Everyone sought answers from my mother, and I could understand why, she was... ethereal.

Always calm, with a warm smile, a gentle hand... she made you feel safe.

When I was younger, one of the things that terrified me the most was the fear that something bad would come to harm us one day. I was too young to give a real shape to the evil, it was more an unpleasant sensation that I imagined, and my mother could perceive it without me saying anything.

So, sometimes, in the evening, when everyone else was asleep, we would go out into the woods alone, with a small light to guide us, and we would reach the golden tree.

I loved that place even though it was another one of those things I couldn't explain since it seemed to be the only tree of its kind. I would rest my head on my mother's lap, and as she gently stroked my hair, she would tell me a lot of different stories, fairy tales, adventures, legends. She seemed to know an infinite number of them. I would have liked to ask her where she had heard them, but even in that case, I didn't ask. And so, every time, the next morning, I would wake up in my room, comfortably lying under the covers, the nightmares completely forgotten... at least for a while.

Growing up, many of those childhood fears disappeared, or I managed to answer them on my own thanks to years of study. However, other doubts occupied my mind.

For example, why were we so isolated from the rest of the world?

Why could we use the power of the thread?

Where did our traditions come from?

How ancient were they?

And how were other witches born?

I had seen pregnant women in the village, I had heard the cries of childbirth, the first cries of the babies, the birth of new life in the world was fascinating even though I had never seen the act in person, being too young or unable to help. But it was what happened before that confused me.

Every five years, a meeting was held, after which ten women would leave the walls of the fortress, and after a few months, they would return expecting.

I didn't know what happened, what they did. I believed there was some sort of ritual I wasn't yet admitted to. I imagined that one day it would happen to me too. As the daughter of the matriarch, I had more responsibilities than the others, I would take my mother's place one day. I imagined I was obliged to participate in any ritual presented to me in the coming years. As I was the future of the coven, one day I would have to create the new generation.

When I was about twelve years old, I realized something was off in my mother's stories and finally decided to ask her a question.

"What is a man?"

The embarrassment was still there, under my skin, but she smiled at me gently. Her answer was cryptic as always, but it made me feel better to hear it. "Everything in the galaxy has its opposite. Light and dark, peace and chaos, ice and fire. Woman and man. And between these opposites, many shades that draw closer until they merge. We are opposites and the same thing at the same time"

I nodded, but as usual, more because I felt stupid asking further.

"So... are men evil?" I tried one last time.

She shook her head.

"Do you think you are pure? Gender is only a physical limit, not a mental one. Don't combine the two, it would be a grave mistake" I was ashamed of that question, but I felt better. I felt like I understood.

Years passed, I began to mature, to train more vigorously, to study even more. I was increasingly involved in meetings, though some were still off-limits to me. And the more I became aware of the thread, the more... something called to me.

At first, it was like an unwanted gaze. I would wake up in the middle of the night believing there was someone with me, but upon waking, the room was intact. I even took extra precautions, but none of the alarms went off. I thought I was just stressed.

But the sensation worsened. I felt chills on my skin when I was in the waking world ready to fall asleep, a light touch that grazed my bare skin. At first, I thought it was the wind. Then, the fabric sliding over me at night. Maybe a chill or pajamas tickling me unintentionally, but that wasn't possible.

It seemed like a physical touch, hands, perhaps a feather, I don't know. But it warmed my skin. I would wake up in the middle of the night, uncomfortable, with a damp sensation between my legs that I had never experienced before. Sometimes, I mistook it for other types of discharge only to check and realize it wasn't what I imagined. I blushed, seeing how wet my underwear had become, leaving a sticky, damp spot in the center, the same liquid trickling between my legs or down the cheeks of my butt.

One evening, whether by luck or misfortune, as I headed to the laundry to leave my panties, I ran into Mother Koril.

"What are you doing awake at this hour? And wandering the corridors, Moreover." her tone always harsh and imperious.

It took an enormous amount of courage to explain to her what was happening, but despite my worst fears, she simply nodded. "It's normal for a girl your age. You shouldn't resist it" She ordered me to hurry and go back to bed, then disappeared down the corridor.

But I didn't understand. Resist it? Resist what? It was just another doubt I couldn't answer.

But now the seed of doubt had been planted. I wanted to understand what she was talking about, to see if I could fix this problem that kept recurring every night.

So, one evening I lay down in bed, making sure I was securely locked in, and against all logical reason, I decided to wear only a light tank top, leaving my lower half uncovered.

The only protection was the bedcovers, but I didn't think it would be a problem.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

To this day, I didn’t know exactly what happened that first night. I have scattered and confused memories. I was aware of my body lying on the mattress, but it was completely dark around me, and I couldn't tell if it was because I had my eyes closed or if it was so dark that I couldn't see a hand in front of my face.

All I knew is that the tingling sensation returned, that shiver that ran through my body from my forehead slowly downwards, my nipples hardening as if a gust of cold air made me shiver and even lower on my stomach, finally settling between my legs.

It was a light touch, a slow, long movement that grazed my center externally. I could feel the wetness beginning to seep from my core. Normally, that would have been the moment when I forced myself to wake up, but I repeated Mother Koril's words in my head "let yourself go"

And so I did.

Instinctively, I spread my legs wider, bending my knees, that touch lingering on the bud between my legs that I had never dared to touch in my life, starting to tease me inexorably in a slow, circular motion. I could hear myself panting, my hips moving erratically. It didn't matter if I was trying to escape or seek out that sensation, that touch didn't stop. I didn't understand what was happening, but I could concentrated my internal muscle in one of those natural movements like when I breathed, I did it automatically.

My body knew what I needed, even if I hadn't yet processed it mentally.

It was only a moment later when that caress moved further down where a pool of juices wet my behind that I became clear-headed again.

A pressure pushing into my wet center made me react suddenly, frightened. I woke up, sitting up in bed in one swift motion, as if walking from a nightmare. Moving the covers, I immediately saw the stain spreading and soaking through the sheets' fabric.

I was so ashamed of it that I decided not to tell anyone, tried to dab the stain hoping that it would not be visible the next day, had to dry between my legs with numerous tissues and hissed when I indirectly brushed my still sensitive clit.

I went to sleep with a sense of dissatisfaction that I did not understand.

For two days I pretended that nothing was happening, when I lay down and started to feel that tingling sensation I immediately opened my eyes again, unfortunately in this way the hours of sleep were broken and I rested with more difficulty being slow in everything I did.

On the third day, my mother realised my discomfort and after a particularly bad training session, she took me aside.

"Koril informed me of your conversation the other night" she began.

I could do nothing but tighten my lips in discomfort.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your body is changing as you grow. This is the connection to the thread that shows you the way. You don't have to resist it"

I replied with only a nod of my head.

I didn't understand what she was talking about, what I was resisting but I didn't know who to ask more of, I didn't want to look stupid.

But I trusted my mother.

So that night I tried again.

One thing I realised was that that touch had become more insistent on those evenings that I had run away from it. As if it was chasing me before I woke up, I closed my eyes and could already feel it between my legs.

Again, one new evening I tried against all my primal instincts to let go. One thing I realised was that the sensation I felt on my skin was actually an imitation of a hand's touch, the mornings I showered before joining the others had become a time of personal exploration where I tried to imitate that touch and soon realised that I could actually register that as the caress of a hand on my body. But I did not have the courage to do more.

Instead that evening as I concentrated on breathing in the darkness of my consciousness those phantom fingers returned insistently, they did not lose a second in teasing me by pressing directly on my clit, it was gentle yes, but firm. My legs instinctively spread wide, my hips in the air hungry for touch as that circular motion returned to tease my flesh.

I could feel a steady trickle of juices sliding from me and wetting the mattress as I trembled and tensed.

I gasped open-mouthed, little noises escaped my mouth, I wanted more even though I didn't understand what exactly I was chasing, and then again, that pressure where I needed it most.

There was no doubt when that itch opened my folds pushing deep between my legs, it was like feeling long, thick fingers digging directly into my womb, I panicked as I tried to wake up, but something was blinding me. Someone was tied to me in the wire holding me still and open to whatever was being done to me.

I was stuck with my legs open as that force pressed my inner walls, stretching and teasing me in a slow movement.

I could only continue to whimper as those fingers opened me inexorably.

Everything slippery, the sound of juices coming out noisily from the pressure as yet another caress returned to tease my bud, my swollen, wet flesh trembling from the stimulation, a hint of tears forming at the corners of my eyes, I wanted to look at what or who was doing this to me but it was all dark, I could only feel the mattress beneath me, my arms locked along my sides, my only outlet was in clutching the blankets in my fist.

I felt my body tense up in a vice bordering on painful before that touch continued to force its way into my folds even more deeper than before, I felt like I was going crazy not fully understanding how many fingers were in me, I moaned out loud for the first time as the soft walls stretched to make room, I held my legs open in a desperate search for something more almost hoping it might come in, harder, wetter, a ringing in my ears made everything muffled blocking out the rest of my senses.

And finally almost in a cruel gesture the touch on my clit became faster joining the thrusts in my core, a fire burning my skin, vibrating with a pleasure I had never felt before, a tide flooding my senses rhythmically until I reached the limit I cried out with no voice in my body, the walls contracted around those fingers almost as if they wanted to suck them inside me and these, covered by my fluids, slid easily in and out of me without leaving me a moment to breathe, my clitoris pinched hard one last time making more tears fall from my eyes, my hips galloping the air as I reached the first orgasm of my life.

Maybe I was crazy, but I swore I heard a low voice whispering "Good girl".

When I opened my eyes it was morning, it was like waking up from a nightmare in reality, I had dry skin around my eyes from spilled tears and between my legs a dirty, wet feeling, underneath me the sheet still damp in a stain under my bottom.

I didn't know what was happening, none of it made sense, why was this only happening to me now? And who was on the other end of the line?

By now I was sure of it, someone was luring me during the night hours by drawing my consciousness through the link, but I was still not good enough to be in control of what was going on around me, I was becoming vulnerable in the hands of someone I didn't know, or at least it felt like I didn't know.

Over the next few days I concentrated on searching for that signature in the coven, I found it hard to believe that anyone would dare use the power of the thread on me, I was the matriarch's daughter, I was respected, we were united and yet no matter how hard I searched nothing seemed to resemble what I had felt that night, not to mention that bond itself was silent.

On the one hand I was glad that it was no longer coming to disturb my sleep, but on the other hand... I blushed at the idea of feeling those shivers again, I had even (not without a huge dose of embarrassment) tried to do it on my own, but clearly I was doing something wrong, I was too hard, too hasty and in the end I was left with a sense of incompleteness that irritated me all day long.

I felt used, it seemed like whoever had sought me out had taken what he wanted and then left, it had been so persistent in the beginning and now? I needed... more.

And I knew I wouldn't fight it.

I wasn't a bad student, my mothers were proud of the results I brought I was consistent and diligent, but I improved even more after that experience, I studied harder, more intensely... I would never explain to either of them why I had changed.

And what was I supposed to tell them anyway?

Someone touches me between my legs at night and I realised I want more...? No it was better to avoid.

The subject of private parts was not taboo in the coven, in fact there were specific rituals regarding the sensuality of the body, I didn't know much about them since I wasn't admitted to those yet, but the body is a temple of physical and mental wellbeing and as such should be cared for.

I was simply too embarrassed to ask for more, as usual, I knew more about the medical side of it, but I had never wanted more, I hadn't even thought about it and there weren't really any girls my age to vent to.

All I knew was that by now I had made up my mind.

I would be the one pulling the strings this time and I hoped that whoever was on the other end would respond.

[sansaorgana]

— DECEPTION (V)

DECEPTION MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader

SUMMARY — You go back to Ostirith to complete the task given to you by Adar and even though you know that what you are about to do will cause doom, you still are not aware of its extent. In the meantime, you feel strong presence of Sauron nearby.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — This chapter is slightly shorter and the Reader is mostly alone in it (well, with Glûg) but I simply had to include it because it is important for the plot – of the show and of this fanifc. 😉 In return, I can spoil to you that in the next one, there will finally be a reunion between the old lovers! 😙

WARNINGS — forced/arranged marriage, Reader is NOT a good person – she is proud, greedy, fake and corrupted by Sauron, "love" triangle situationship, dead bodies (including Reader's father) – she must go back to Ostirith to complete the task and they are still there after being slaughtered by Adar's army

WORD COUNT — 4,660

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

DECEPTION (V)

Accompanied by the sounds of the battle nearby, you could hear your own heart ringing in your ears as you were running through the forest alongside Glûg. He kept an eye on you and you kept yours on him – none of you trusted each other fully but you hoped he would not turn against you at least for now, before the task his Lord Father cared so much about was finished.

When you began to see the ruins of Ostirith between the trees, you slowed down your pace, feeling a little calmer now; knowing that you were far away from danger.

“Do you happen to know why Lord Father wants to open the dam?” You asked the Orc. “It does not make sense to me why such a task is so important to him,” you added.

“We have been digging, Dark Lady…” Glûg explained, trying to avoid your eyes. “Digging tunnels…. Underneath,” he was visibly trying to hide something from you but when you gave him a concerned look, expecting more of his explanation, he glanced down, already feeling guilty for revealing too much.

You were standing on the edge of the stone bridge leading you to the fortress but you refused to take another step. He froze and turned around, waiting for you as you squeezed the hilt of the sword covered in the dirty rags.

“I must know, Orc,” you ordered him harshly and he tilted his head. “Uruk,” you fixed yourself. “I must know what I am about to do.”

“Create a home for the Uruks,” Glûg answered mysteriously. “A land where we do not have to hide from the sunlight.”

You furrowed your brows at his words. The Southlands turning into the realm of dust and ashes was what Sauron had been telling you about before. Was it possible that your lover and your husband shared similar goals? If so – it was only better for you.

You took a deep breath in and finally entered the stone bridge leading to the ruins of your home. Whatever you were about to do, you were sure it would serve Sauron’s purpose as well. And that was motivating enough.

You knew exactly what was the crevice Adar had mentioned. You had been born in this fortress and you had been raised in it, playing in every corner of it as a child. However, now, when it was all in ruins, it would take you some time to find it.

And finding yourself amongst those ruins, surrounded by the bodies of your friends… It was deeply unsettling to feel all this death. And it felt deeply wrong to leave them be just like that, without a proper funeral.

“We should hurry, my Lady,” Glûg tried to rush you.

“They deserve a burial,” you pointed out, looking down at the dead Elven bodies underneath the stones of the fallen towers and walls.

“They will be covered in ashes soon like all of the Southlands,” Glûg answered and you nodded at him. He was right, even though you still had no idea how this whole thing would work and how opening the dam could cause the Southlands to be covered in ashes.

“I want to find my father first… Then we can finish our task,” you informed him and he was visibly frustrated with you but he would not dare to scold you, so he groaned a little and began to look through the bodies, hoping to help you.

While he was digging through the bodies carelessly, you paced slowly and gently around the courtyard and you froze at the sight of the holy trees. The same ones you had gotten married under. They were crushed with the towers now but some branches kept bravely sticking out and there were still leaves on them.

You approached the trees and gently caressed the branches you could reach, picking a few leaves along the way. You hid them away inside your sleeve and that was when you looked down and spotted your father’s body.

“I have found him!” You informed Glûg and he froze in the middle of his own search, nodding his head and moving away slightly as if he wanted to give you space.

You crouched down and looked up and down your father’s form. You tried to think of some words to tell him but you could not think of any. The emptiness in your mind and heart at that moment confused you but it also gave you power to carry on with your task.

You straightened your back and stood up, taking a deep breath in before turning around and finding Glûg’s eyes.

“Let us go now,” you ordered and this time you led the way as he followed you closely.

You circled around the area where the crevice should be, toying a little with impatient Glûg. You knew that the Uruks were dying at the moment during the battle and you wondered how your husband was doing. But it did not truly matter – what you were about to do was a thing that Sauron himself had wanted as well. And for him, you would burn the whole Middle-earth to the ground. For him… and for the way he was making you feel.

“Stay in the shadow,” you addressed the Orc and pushed him away slightly to make him stand under a big tree nearby. He nodded and hid from the sunlight, watching you with his small and curious eyes as you dropped the dirty rags off of the hilt and stared at the item.

Adar had mentioned using your blood to extend the sword. Blood magic was extremely powerful and dark – in fact, it was forbidden. It was giving you a thrill that you would do something of this sort. But for Sauron and his schemes you would bleed out completely… just to make him happy.

You dug the sharp edge of the hilt into the skin of your forearm and watched the blood slowly leak out of the fresh wound, streaming down your hands and covering the hilt. And right in front of your eyes, the sword was extending itself until it finally reached its full form. You gasped at the sight since it was beautiful as you lifted your hand up and squinted your eyes at the rays of sunshine reflecting themselves in the blade.

In the reflection of it, you saw the world around you but in a different, darker form. Covered in dust and ashes as if it was showing you the future, which was terrifying but also beautiful in a way. Surely it would mean something to be the person who would push the final button of bringing the Southlands into their doom.

With a pounding heart, you inserted the sword into the crevice and turned it. At first, nothing happened, but after a short while, you could feel the ground underneath your feet trembling as the stones moved, starting the mechanism to open the dam.

“My Lady!” Glûg called out for you and you removed the sword from the crevice before hurrying to his side. You both had to get out of there as fast as possible.

And so you ran ahead of you, trying to leave Ostirith before the bridge would crumble down and cut your way out of the ruins. When you were on it, it was tumbling down already. With your Elven skills, you managed to make a swift and long jump to safety but Glûg behind you stopped, feeling insecure about the chasm on his way.

You hesitated for a short moment as his eyes filled with fear when they reached you. There was so much anxiety and pleading in them that for a moment you managed to feel true compassion towards this filthy creature.

You rolled your eyes and extended your hand as much as you could, helping him to make his jump, seconds before the bridge crumbled down completely.

“Th-thank you, my Lady,” he breathed out when you let go of his arm once you both were standing on the safe and solid ground.

You only nodded at him and you two ran into the woods, stumbling on the way because of the ground shaking underneath your feet. The enormous power of the water released from the dam was now flowing deep within the ground, through all the tunnels that were made by the Orcs for reasons that were still unknown to you but you could feel the very foundations of the earth being shaken.

You were standing on the hill and watching the Southlands from above when it happened. Orodruin – the mountain standing proudly and sticking out the most out of all the peaks nearby as if it was watching over the realm; known for being a volcano as well; that some said had been created by Morgoth in the First Age – erupted.

You stood there in complete shock, squeezing the hilt of the sword, finding it hard to believe what was happening in front of your eyes. All the ash and fire coming your way was not about to harm you because you were an Elf, so you just stood there and watched the wave of darkness coming towards you to take over the Southlands as Glûg hid behind the bushes, trying to pull you down with him.

However, you stood there still and ignored him for a moment. You closed your eyes and felt the wave crashing over you. And when you opened your eyes again, the land around you looked completely different than it had before.

“I have brought doom to my land,” you said out loud. “I, daughter of the Lord and Lady Guardian of the Southlands, am the very death of my realm.”

Glûg stood up, looking around with curiosity and widened eyes. He seemed to be as shocked as happy and you cracked a smile at that, trying to look kind and… generous. 

“You have a home now, Uruk,” you told him. “A place where you do not have to hide.”

“M-my Lady…” Glûg bowed his head in front of you and you knew that if Adar was there, he would scold him for that gesture but you were not going to do that.

You stood there, staring at him in an almost challenging way. What you had just done… There was no way back from it. You had sealed your fate and even though it was scary, it was also exciting in a way. It surely made you feel powerful and in control.

“We should go…” Glûg pointed at the path and you nodded at him, following him deeper into the woods.

He led you to the abandoned hut in the middle of the forest. You walked inside and looked around, confused.

“You wait here, Dark Lady. I will go and find out what is happening in the village,” he informed you and you stared at him for a moment, not sure if you should believe or trust him.

“Alright then. But if you abandon me here, I shall find you and–”

“M-my Lady, I would n-never,” his voice stuttered a little as he bowed down again before leaving you.

You sighed and sat down on the floor, resting your back on the wall behind you. It seemed like Glûg was perceiving you differently now, after witnessing the act of complete destruction coming from you. It was good. Very good.

Now, when you had a silent moment for yourself, you looked at the dried up blood on your forearm and you caressed the wound with your fingertips. And then you felt it… Him.

You gasped, letting go of the sword and placing your hands flat on the wooden floor as if you could feel Sauron’s energy reaching you through the ground. 

“M-my love?” You whispered, trying to get to him somehow. You pressed your ear to the ground, desperately. “I can feel you, my love. Sauron. You are here. You are back. You are nearby,” you kept repeating as if you were in a frenzy, scratching the wooden floor with your fingernails. “You are here…”

This very new wave of energy crashing over you was so overwhelming that you were out of breath. After the centuries of loneliness and yearning, now you were certain that Sauron was not only back but he was also nearby. You cried happy tears and as they streamed down your cheeks, you gathered strength and courage to keep on fighting and scheming.

“Come and find me, my love, come and find me,” you kept whispering over and over, losing the sense of time and place.

And that was how Glûg found you many minutes later, entering the hut and tilting his head at you. You sniffled your tears back and straightened your back but he chose to ask no questions, perhaps thinking that it was some sort of sorcery that you had been performing.

“And?” You asked.

“Most of the army is hiding in the forests, waiting for the Lord Father’s return. He was taken as a prisoner alongside other Uruks by the Númenórean cavalry,” Glûg explained, visibly worried a little and you furrowed your brows at the news. Adar being taken prisoner could mean he was dead now. And what were you supposed to do? 

Search for Sauron, obviously… But how? Where to start? You were lost.

“We shall join them then,” you grabbed the sword and stood up.

“No, my Lady,” Glûg protested. “It is not safe. Too close to the village. We should wait here.”

“I am no coward,” you told him and held your chin up. He did not have to know that the very reason of your courage was coming from the overwhelming comeback of Sauron’s presence.

“My Lady, I am supposed to watch over you. That was the task given to me by the Lord Father,” Glûg insisted, watching you with curiosity.

“I am Adar’s wife and when he is taken away from his children, I shall not abandon them,” you pointed out and walked out of the hut.

Glûg had no choice but to lead you back to his brothers and sisters that were hiding in the woods and waiting for either Adar’s return or the news about his death. You, on the other hand, began your mission to gain their trust and respect in case Sauron needed his army sooner than you had been expecting.

It was difficult to say what time of the day it was when you finally joined the Orcs in the woods. The skies were orange now as the volcano kept burning and filling the Southlands with more ashes and more dust. Your surroundings – the green, green grass of your home – presented itself like hell now.

The Orcs went silent when they spotted Glûg leading you to them. There were warriors holding onto their weapons tightly as female Orcs were pulling their crying babies closer. You felt deeply unsafe being surrounded by them without your husband to protect you and with the image of what they had done all those centuries ago to your lover.

“Our Dark Lady,” Glûg started, “was the one to open the dam and awake the mountain.”

Long silence occurred and you found yourself in the middle of the circle, surrounded by the Orcs from all sides. You tried your best to hide your nervousness as you rested your wrist lazily upon the hilt of the sword.

“Uruks!” You addressed them and, thankfully, your voice did not tremble because of the courage you found in the knowledge of your lover’s return and being nearby. “Your Lord Father – my husband – is taken away by our enemies. He is, however, strong and cunning. I truly believe he is coming back for us… To us,” you nodded at them, trying to assure them with a hint of worry and compassion. “After fulfilling the task he had given me and creating a home for you, I could have remained hidden away as Glûg here suggested,” you nodded at him, “to protect me. But how could I abandon my husband’s children in such an hour? Their army might have attacked us and the losses might have been many but it is the day of our victory!” You exclaimed, making an attempt to excite them. “Look around! Look at the ashes, the dust, the black clouds blocking out the deadly rays of sunshine. Cast off your cloaks and your helms. You can be safe now, you can be free; no longer burdened by the day... In a land that no human or Elf will ever call their home. It is yours now and I have given it to you,” you blinked your eyes a few times as if you were batting eyelashes at your lover and they cheered.

“Dark Lady!” Some of them chanted and you smirked.

“They want to go to battle,” Glûg whispered to you and you nodded at him, raising your hand up to silence the Orcs’ chanting because there was more to say.

“We shall wait here for your Lord Father’s return because I do believe my husband would never abandon us. If he does not come back, however, we shall attack the Númenóreans remaining in the village to remind them that this is our home!” You pointed at the path leading to Tirharad and the Orcs around you hummed as they nodded their heads. “For now, we shall wait and rest after the battle. You deserve it, Uruks,” you reminded them and they took a few steps back to let you pass as you walked away and sat on the tree that had recently fallen over.

You sighed and kept caressing the blade of the new sword, feeling the prying eyes of many Orcs upon you as they whispered between each other. It was not your intention to take them over just yet because that would be suspicious and you knew that despite them being grateful for your sacrifice, they were not stupid. They knew you had only been following Adar’s orders and they did not trust you fully just yet. However, in case of his death, they would become leaderless and you just knew that would be the moment when your lover would step in. But you would have to be the one leading this army to him and convincing them that he was worthy to follow.

As you were sitting there and wondering, trying to reach out to Sauron somehow with your silent pleas, one of the Orcs approached you carefully. You looked up and squeezed the hilt of the sword in case he came to attack you, which was quite a possibility as well.

“My Lady?” He asked and bowed his head as low as he could.

“What is it, Uruk?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“In case Lord Father is dead–”

“Let us not–” you winced and looked away, pretending to be in pain at the mention of such a scenario. “He is not, I just know it. It is too early to discuss such matters,” you insisted and he nodded.

“But, just in case, we wanted to know…” He looked back at some of his friends standing behind him as they nodded at him, encouragingly. “Would you lead us?” He asked and you kept staring at him, surprised.

“It is not a good idea,” you sighed humbly. “A leader should be someone that the army would follow. Do you truly believe that your brothers and sisters would follow me?” You asked.

“We would make sure,” one of his friends stepped in. “My Lady…” He bowed down. “You gave us home and you are the wife of our Lord Father. We would follow you and we would convince others to do so as well. Our kin should be united no matter what happens and after Lord Father’s death… You are the only one now who could do it because you are his spouse,” he explained and you wondered if this group was the most loyal to Adar or were they just the most stupid ones to come to you like that.

“I shall lead you,” you promised them, “...if I must,” you added and they nodded at you before walking away, visibly relieved.

You shook your head as you watched them walk away and you yawned. Despite being an Elf, you were getting tired, too, sometimes. Especially after a night and day so eventful. The battle, the sudden and unexpected attack of the Númenórean cavalry, the eruption of Orodruin… Your body was begging for the rest now, when it was finally all over.

But when you looked around, you could not feel safe around those creatures enough to just close your eyes and fall asleep, even though they seemed to be busy with their own errands and many of them were taking naps as well.

However, your eyelids were growing heavier and your senses were going weaker. You had no choice but to drift off on the grass, holding onto the sword with your back pressed to the fallen tree.

You felt someone nudging you softly, which caused you to stir in your sleep but you ignored the interruption and just tried to move away from the touch. The hand, however, kept shaking your arm slowly, which finally forced you to open your eyes. And when you did, you saw Adar’s face as he was crouching down in front of you with Glûg, a few other Orcs and a human who had been loyal to your husband for a long while now – Waldreg. They all were standing behind him, looking down at you.

In an instant, you were brought back to reality and remembered everything that had happened recently. And at the sight of your husband, your heart truly filled with joy because it was so much better to have him by your side than to be surrounded by nobody but the Orcs.

“Adar!” You sighed with relief and surprised him by throwing your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you in a hug. “You are back.”

“The Númenóreans retreated,” he explained calmly and moved away slightly to take a better look at your face. His rough hand caressed your cheek and brushed away all the hairs that covered that side of your face. “You have completed the task,” he pointed out and glanced at the sword next to you, moving his hand down to caress the wound on your forearm.

“Have you doubted me?” You teased with a smirk and Adar cracked a smile before moving up and helping you to stand up.

You squeezed his hand tighter, allowing him to pull you up. Then, you reached for the weapon that had been lying next to you for the past few hours and you offered it to him.

“This sword belongs to you, I believe,” you said.

Adar looked at it in silence and visibly hesitated, thinking intensely about something.

“You keep it, my Lady,” he finally laid his cold eyes upon you. They were filled with admiration now as you realised that perhaps a huge part of his army still doubted you but not him. Not as much as before, at least.

“A-are you sure, my Lord?” You asked.

“You have earned it,” Adar caressed your cheek again. “Do you know how to use it?”

“Barely,” you admitted. You had received some basic training on how to wield a sword but it had never been the most important part of your studies.

You had sometimes watched Sauron train with his own blade but he had been always saying that you were far too delicate to learn that yourself. 

“Perhaps you can teach me, husband?” You asked Adar as your eyes sparkled at the thought of finally being able to protect yourself at least a tiny bit.

“I can,” Adar nodded with a smile as he kept staring at you with admiration. It was Glûg clearing his throat that finally made him take a deep breath in and turn around to face his children. “I have returned and our enemies departed,” he said. “Your Dark Lady’s efforts have ensured that it is our land now… Our home,” he put his arm around you as he addressed his children and they cheered for the both of you.

“Hail Adar and (Y/N), Lord and Lady of the Southlands!” Waldreg shouted immediately, trying to prove his loyalty once more. He was a filthy creature, in many ways disgusting you even more than the Orcs around him. But he could still be useful one day, therefore you decided to ignore his presence most of the time.

“Hail Adar and (Y/N), Lord and Lady of the Southlands!” All the Orcs shouted as a shiver went down your spine at the sound of it.

Being in Sauron’s bed had been making you feel special and powerful before but this was the very first time you felt that you had actual power over anything real. There was an army of dangerous creatures cheering your name – now more confidently than before because now your reign was solidified by your husband’s presence, but still… It was making you feel as if nothing was impossible.

On the other hand, you also felt a little unsettled. You had always dreamt of power that Sauron had been promising you because you had never had any taste of it in your life. And now, when you were presented with a hint of it, you realised what a burden and responsibility it also was. Standing next to Adar in front of his children already felt special enough and it violated some of your privilege of being an unknown and free woman – because now you were a leader. 

Suddenly, the idea of ruling the whole Middle-earth scared you because it would be what you felt at the moment – only intensified hundreds of times more. It was the very first time when you felt fear instead of excitement at the thought of becoming Sauron’s Queen.

Those thoughts, however, disappeared as quickly as they showed up. Power might have been scary but it was intoxicating as well. And it would surely feel wonderful to be worshipped by more than just the Orcs. To hear your name being chanted by all the beings of Middle-earth – those much more graceful and pure as well.

Adar felt your uneasiness and pulled you a little bit closer, reassuringly squeezing your arm as the Orcs kept shouting Hail Adar and (Y/N), Lord and Lady of the Southlands!

“No…” Adar interrupted them finally as he raised his hand and they all went silent at his word. You looked up at him, wondering what he would say now. “That is the name of a place that no longer exists,” he reminded everyone.

“What should we call it instead, Lord Father?” Waldreg asked him.

“Mordor,” Adar answered. Land of Shadow in the language of Quenya – the speech only you and him spoke amongst all the creatures gathered around you. He looked down to meet your gaze as if he waited for your approval and you saw all the Orcs staring at you intensely, waiting for your head to nod.

Perhaps you should think now if it was a name that Sauron would approve of but you did not. He still had not answered your calls and prayers to him and you felt his presence less prominent now as if he had left those lands already. Perhaps he had never been here and you had been haunted by nothing but an illusion.

You wanted to make this decision yourself because it was your homeland that had been transformed and it was you who had transformed it. And so you made that choice by nodding your head to agree on the new name, looking deep into your husband’s eyes.

The Orcs glanced at each other and just like that, they had a new chant to shout:

“Hail Adar and (Y/N), Lord and Lady of Mordor!” 

MASTERLIST

[kaibutsushidousha]

I hope this doesn’t seem like a flame-bait ask, but the Ka'an being albinos, and well, the even less necessary detail that Camazotz’s melanin was somehow contagious has left me reflecting on how this franchise has often portrayed darker skin as something of a consequence rather than something natural. Do you know of any details that might explain this implicit recurrence? From a Doylist, not Watsonian perspective. Either from anything Nasu may have been inspired by, or perhaps something he may have written early on. Because this is clearly an extremely unfortunate pattern, not uniform in the explanations either, which is why I’m curious enough to ask.

The examples I’m thinking of are specifically EMIYA (Shirou and Kiritsugu), Angra Mainyu, hell, even Dust of Osiris, and now Camazotz, at least within the new details (the skin darkening was nothing new, but COME ON, CONTAGIOUS MELANIN???).

I don't imagine he's inspired by anything specific for this trend. But your phrasing here, "portrayed darker skin as something of a consequence rather than something natural", is really clicked some switches in my head. It feels like a clue directly to the answer of the puzzle.

Japan is a 99% monoethnic country, geographically isolated by water, politically isolated for over 200 years, and freed from the isolationist regime for less long than the regime lasted. I live in a super multiethnic country, so when I see a darker person in Brazil, my Brazilian common sense tell me he's from a different race. But when a Japanese person sees a darker person without an obvious foreigner face, their common sense tells that's sun exposure.

Understanding darker skin as something of a consequence rather than something natural is their culture's default and there's text dating back to 10th century (Heian court lady diaries) to evidence it. I explain it more properly in this other post (about Danganronpa), but even the common use idiom 白い肌 ("white skin") is unrelated to race.

[milaeth]

୨୧┊ 𝐈. 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇. ( lando norris )

ꖛ ─ you’re reading part one ∿ part two

✧.* pairings ─ lando norris x fem! model! piastri! reader

✧.* genre ─ one-shot ⨾ slight angst & fluff

✧.* summary ─ in which Lando and his teammate Oscar film a lie detector challenge for McLaren's youtube video and Lando is asked if he has a secret crush on someone. nobody but Lando knows that the mysterious person who has stolen his heart without knowing it is none other than you, Oscar's sister.

✧.* warnings ─ none other than fluff and maybe a little angst

✧.* mily’s thoughts ─ this is my first time writing anything on here! my first language isn’t english so pls have mercy lol. btw the reader is around the same age as lando!

Lando and his teammate Oscar sit across from each other, gathered around a table. it’s media day and they’re preparing to record the lie detector challenge for McLaren's youtube channel.

"are you two ready?" asks one of the crew members in charge of the camera and lighting equipment. Lando replies lightly, "as ready as we can be!" his remark makes Oscar chuckle and then nod. as soon as the cameraman says "action," however, Lando's mind begins to wander while Oscar explains the purpose of the video to the viewers.

his thoughts wander to you. even though he only saw you a few hours ago, he can't help but miss you. he may be embarrassed, but how can he not long for someone as amazing and beautiful as you? someone as unreachable as you.

the saddest part is that you don’t even know. you have no idea how incredible you are in Lando's eyes. without you knowing it, he's had a crush on you ever since you came into the paddock a year ago accompanied by your brother and his teammate Oscar Piastri. Lando developed these feelings for you around this time last year, but has kept them a secret from everyone ever since. It's ridiculous, it really is.

he knows that he can’t have you. you are a successful model who attracts the attention of countless men and women, and simply out of his league. not only that, but you’re his teammate's brother. but every time you talk to him and look at him, the glimmer of hope in him grows a little more, no matter how irrational it seems.

little do you know you warm Lando's heart by attending the races every two weeks to support your brother and passionately cheer for McLaren. even if your support isn’t exclusively for him, but for your brother Oscar, it still makes Lando feel great knowing that you’re at least cheering for the team he’s driving for.

Lando sighs softly, longing for more opportunities to talk with you. he wants to get to know you even better, to learn personal details hidden from the prying eyes of the media. he longs to be special to you, just as you are special to him.

"well someone's already planning how to trick and deceive the lie detector, aren't they?" Oscar's playful remark interrupts Lando's train of thought, his expression brimming with amusement. only now does Lando realize that he has been staring at the lie detector the entire time. his cheeks flush with embarrassment as he quickly looks away. has he been so obvious?

"what, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Lando exclaims dramatically, gasping in mock astonishment. he plays along with Oscar's teasing, trying to distract himself from the fact that he has been caught in his daydreams of you.

"sure," Oscar says, drawing out the word with a grin on his lips. "you do know how this works, though?" he asks, pointing to the toy in front of them, to which Lando silently shakes his head, "alright, you basically just have to put your hand on the metal part of the lie detector and then answer the questions I ask you truthfully. you'll get a shock if you lie, not if you don't, understand?"

Lando nods and tried to focus his attention on Oscar's explanation, which seems impossible as his mind automatically wants to wander back to you. this is supposed to be a fun and light-hearted video for the fans just before the race week, but Lando's heart racing at the mere thought of you reminds him how hard he has fallen for you.

Oscar decides to go first with the lie detector challenge, providing honest and sometimes not so honest answers, which leads to him being shocked and both of them bursting into laughter. a few minutes later, Oscar answers the final question written on the card in Lando’s hand. afterwards, Lando takes a deep breath. now it’s his turn to do the challenge.

he places his hand on the metal surface of the toy and feels a slight jolt of nervousness. he reminds himself that this is all just a game and he has nothing to lose. well, except his pride…

Oscar starts the first round of questions and everything goes smoothly. Lando focuses on giving honest answers and suppresses his distracting thoughts of you as best he can. but as the questions continue, Lando's thoughts occasionally drift back to you and the memories you both share.

like the first time you spoke to him, your bright smile, your beautiful eyes, and your genuine interest in him as a person that made him blush. he remembers the moments when your eyes always meet for a split second after a race, and the electric connection he feels, even if it's fleeting and one-sided. some might call these memories insignificant, but they're the ones that mean the most to him. because they're all he has.

but with the good memories come the not-so-good ones. like the numerous occasions when he failed to start a conversation or laugh with you. the occasions when he embarrassed himself and sometimes was even too nervous to speak in your presence without stuttering. the fear of rejection and his own self-doubt hold him back all the time, leaving him with regrets and what-if scenarios.

the lie detector test progresses, and Lando's thoughts return to the present when he notices Oscar's mischievous grin. he glances at the card in Oscar's hand, which has the rest of the questions on it.

"alright, mate," Oscar says, his voice filled with mock seriousness. "do you have a secret crush on someone?"

Lando's eyes widen and his heart skips a beat, surprised by the unexpected question.

“umm,” he starts, contemplating his response with a pounding heart. a thousand thoughts race through his mind. should he lie or tell the truth?

"no..." he finally lies and nervously looks at the crew to his right for a second, while an embarrassed smile threatens to form on his face. Oscar smirks and raises an eyebrow, not once breaking eye contact with his teammate. Lando immediately notices the amused twinkle in his eyes, clearly aware of his embarrassment.

the room falls silent and everyone waits curiously for the result. time suddenly seems to slip by in slow motion. then, without warning, an electric shock goes through Lando’s hand, sending a shockwave up his arm. his eyes widen and a quiet yelp escapes his lips as he flinches from the unexpected sensation. he quickly removes his hand from the toy and groans. he can hear Oscar laughing, obviously amused by the sight of his head lying on the table in pain.

"well, well, well," Oscar exclaims, a mischievous grin tucking at his lips and amusement still dancing in his eyes, "care to tell us who this mysterious person is?" Lando laughs, “no thanks, I’d rather not!”

"oh, come on. we all want to know who you fell in love with!" Oscar's teasing tone makes Lando roll his eyes playfully as he sits up in his chair. "she’s not even my girlfriend!" he exclaims. "not yet," Oscar wiggles his eyebrows and Lando groans in fake annoyance.

“i'm not going to tell you who she is.” Lando declares, and Oscar lets out a fake, sad ‘aww’, “i wouldn't even say i’m in love, you know.. i don’t know her well enough to call it love.” Oscar nods understandingly.

“but you like her, don’t you?”

Lando smiles at that, thinking of your contagious laugh and amazing personality. “yes, i really, really like her.”

Oscar's gaze softens, a knowing glint in his eyes and a genuine smile on his face as he observes Lando. he knows what a person in love looks like, and Lando is definitely head over heels in love.

“then you should think about taking a chance,” he says with a gentle smile. “life is too short to hide such strong emotions. who knows? maybe this mysterious person feels the same way.” he winks and Lando smiles and looks down at his hands. you feeling the same way about him? that’s too good to be true.

“i don’t think so,” he replies with a shrug, “but we’ll see.”

little does he know that fate has its own plans, and that the path of their intertwined stories is slowly unfolding. the love Lando carries in his heart will soon find its way to the one person who unknowingly captured it…

don’t forget to like, comment & reblog (it’s very much appreciated <3).

© milaeth | 2023

[farfaras]

Part 1.

Maybe if Steve acts casual Robin won’t even notice. She barely pays attention to him when she’s too busy rambling about her love life. Or lack there of. If Steve’s lucky, today is gonna be one of those days.

But Steve’s good luck probably ended the first time he took a look at a demogorgon.

“What is that?” Robin giggled. If she finds this amusing wait until she hears what actually happened.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb. That only worked when I thought you were an actual idiot.” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah well, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” Steve put on his family video vest and clocked in.

“What? I notice things!” Robin exclaimed when Steve made his way to the counter.

“Yeah, when you’re not too busy daydreaming about Vickie.”

“You’re changing the subject!”

“Objection!”

“Stop it!”

Steve sighed. How could you explain your friend sucked your neck to make your another friend jealous when you don’t even like said friend? Tricky.

Ugh. Robin was gonna make fun of him.

“You wouldn’t believe me.” Steve tried. It was a last resort to save himself from the embarrassment.

“Yeah, because I’ve never experienced anything out of the ordinary.” She raised an eyebrow. Steve knew she wouldn’t let it go. “When did you even go on a date, dingus? I don’t remember you telling me about it.”

“I didn’t go on a date.”

“Well then who did that?” She narrowed her eyes. “Ew! Are you in a friends with benefits situation?” She look scandalized and curious at the same time. “Because honestly Steve, I don’t think that’s your thing. I mean even if you try, it wouldn’t work out. You’re like an actual romantic. Wanting a serious relationship, yearning connection and all that shit. It would be cute if you weren’t kinda desperate sometimes.” Okay he had to cut her off if he wanted to keep his ego unbruised.

“Jesus! Okay! You don’t have to say it like I’m some loser who can’t get a girlfriend!” If he needed humbling he knew who to call now though.

“But you kind of are.”

“Do you want to know or not?” Even if he was embarrassed about the whole thing, he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t hoping Robin would give him some insight. Once she stopped making fun of him. “It was Eddie.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and… excitement? “Holy shit! It finally happened?” What is she talking about now? “I thought I would actually have to wait another year at least for you guys to figure it out.” There’s nothing that makes Steve feel more inadequate than when he doesn’t get what people are talking about. “I mean anyone who’s got eyes could see how much you two liked each other and it’s cute but I was getting tired of the pining..” she trailed off when she saw how silent Steve was. “Why aren’t you as excited as me?”

Pining? Like each other? Did Robin think..? Did Eddie?

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He questioned. His mind was going through every interaction him and Eddie once had. Trying to analyze his own behavior to come up with an explanation as to why someone would think he likes Eddie.

“Oh god. I thought. Did you guys not like… get together?” She was hesitant. It felt like she was trying not to scare a wild animal.

“No.”

“I gotta stop running my mouth like that. I’m sorry.” She looked mortified and it would be funny if this was another situation. “But what? Why would he do that? I’m so lost here, Steve.”

Steve went through backstory first, then he started retelling the events of the other day. Including how he actually enjoyed himself a little. He might as well be a hundred percent transparent, she was his best friend after all.

“Robin, say something.” His best friend being silent was not something he was used to.

“I’m so confused.” She said.

“Me too.” His confusion was starting to fade. The answer right in front of his face.

“So you’re… not together? Even after that?”

“I don’t even like him like that!”

“But you said you liked it!”

“Who wouldn’t!”

“I wouldn’t! Steve, a boy giving me hickeys is one of my worst nightmares.” He knew that. He knew it meant something that he liked it. The question is if he’s ready to face what it means.

“I- I know, okay?”

“Steve, say the word and we’ll stop talking about this.” He loves his best friend. He doesn’t know what he’d do without her.

“No. I think I’m ready.” Steve muttered. Robin smiled gently at him and that was all the encouragement he needed to feel safe enough to say it out loud.

“I like him.”

They hugged.

-

“It kinda sucks that he doesn’t like me back though.”

Robin thunked her head on the counter.

[xxchumanixx]

Matchmaker

The Mandalorian x reader

Summary: Greef Karga takes it upon himself to help two fools find their way together.

Warnings/Tags: hurt, fluff, comfort, mentions of character death, a little angst (but only if you squint), spoilers for season 3

Word count: 2.652

Authors note: Hello my loves! Just finished season three of The Mandalorian, and I can't help but write something for my beloved Din! Seriously, I love him so much.

Also, I somehow wrote this not in past tense, but present tense. Don't know how that happened, but I'm okay with it.

Enjoy!

"What's up with you?" Greef Karga speaks up, head tilted as he tries to analyze your face. Spurred by his words you sit straighter in the chair opposite his, hoping to mask what's on your mind from the clever man.

But he knows you, he knows the tell tale signs when somethings up with you, when somethings bothering you.

His eyebrows rise, and you sigh in defeat.

Of course you can't hide your feelings from him. Over the time you've known him now, he somehow became a father figure for you.

"Do you think he'll settle down, now that he has a home here on Nevarro?" you ask, even though you already know the answer. The likelihood of him settling down, is even smaller than him returning your feelings for him.

You love him, even if you've never seen his face before.

Greef snorts in amusement, sending you a smirk that says the same thing. Never would Din Djarin settle down - at least not in the near future.

"Why are you asking?" Greef questions, brows furrowed. "Are you hoping he'll stay with you?"

Eyes widening, you stare at the magistrate, who dares to chuckle at your reaction. "What?" he quips, smirking. "Do you think I haven't noticed the way you're looking at him?"

You're mouth opens to protest, but you can't manage to utter a single word. He's right, and he knows it too.

"Do you love him?" he wants to know more serious, leaning forward on the table between you. You choke on your breath, chuckling to cover up the uneasy feeling that's suddenly cursing through you.

You still though, sighing, before your head falls into your hands, elbows propped on the table. Wiping over your face you look at Greef, who patiently waits for your answer.

"I do." you reply, feeling the goosebumps creep up your bare arms. He nods, suspicions confirmed. "You haven't seen his face, yet." he points out, cocking a brow.

"Don't need to." you respond, shaking your head. "He could be a Gungan for all you know." he remarks, though grinning as you send him a pointed look.

"He once told me about the mandalorian marriage, how he would be able to remove his helmet in front of his wife." you explain, looking down on the table as your cheeks flush.

"Hit you pretty hard, huh?" he asks with a smile, but before you can answer someone speaks up from behind you, causing you to flinch in your seat.

"What hit whom?" Din wants to know, and you refuse to turn around, stiffening, as your cheeks go even more red.

Greef clears his throat, chuckling. "Oh, nothing, mando." he replies. "Just talkin' 'bout old times."

You are thankful for the older man's explanation, sending him a grateful look. He nods almost unnoticeable, before you stand up.

"I'm gonna go look for something to do." you tell them, briefly looking at Din, before your gaze averts again. Grogu stands behind him, cooing up at you.

"Oh, could you take him with you?" Greef asks, pointing at Grogu. "I want to discuss something with Din, that's not for the child's ears."

Din nods in approval, as you look at him questioningly.

Smiling down at the child you scoop him into your arms, before you leave the room.

Din looks after you and the child, even after the door has already closed behind you again. Greef clears his throat, averting his attention back to him.

"You want to discuss something with me?" Din wants to know, taking a seat where you had been sitting only moments ago.

He'd be lying if he said he wants a job - it had only been a few days since you landed on Nevarro again and settled into the cabin Greef had prepared for you three.

After the fight on Mandalore he is glad to have a break from the constant fighting and traveling.

He could tell you are too, finally being able to catch more than just an hour or two of sleep. The child is happier as well, being able to play with the local kids.

Greef folds his hands on the table, looking at Din with a sigh. Unbeknownst to the magistrate, he rises a brow under his helmet, looking at him expectantly.

"Do you plan on staying?" Greef asks, looking straight at where he believes Din's eyes must be. Din tilts his head, not sure what his friend is getting at.

"Maybe, why?" he gives back warily, brows furrowing. Greef only nods, leaning back in his chair. "And what about her?" he questions further, eyes still fixed on the warrior in front of him. Din licks his lip, feeling his heart rate pick up at the mention of you.

He'd love for you to stay with him, but he'd never make a move on it. You were too precious to him, for him ruining you.

"What do you mean?" he wants to know, leather creaking quietly, as his hands flex in a nervous manner. Greef huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know exactly what I mean, Din."

Din sighs, looking away. He in fact knows what the older man is hinting at, yet he tries to play dumb.

"I don't know what you mean."

Greef rolls his eyes, frustration seeping through, as he silently curses at the mandalorian. "Do you love her?" he asks him the same question he had asked you earlier.

Din's eyes widen under his helmet, as he believes he must have misheard him. "I have to go." he mutters, pushing himself out of the chair. "Do you love her?" Greef repeats louder, and Din stiffens, back turned towards him.

"'Cause if you do, you should tell her."

Din can't help but huff at his words, turning back around to him. "And why should I do that?" he demands to know, taking a step closer. "So she takes the first ship to another planet?"

"Because she loves you!" Greef responds angrily, standing from his chair. "Because she loves you and she asked me the same question earlier - Asked if you would stay, or if you'd leave her behind."

Din is taken aback by his words, body freezing.

His heart goes rigid in his chest, hands sweating, but he stays still. "She doesn't know me." he mutters, shaking his head. "She doesn't know your face." Greef responds. "There's a difference."

Din swallows, wiping his hands on his thighs, even though he wears gloves.

"She told me about the mandalorian marriage." Greef explains, licking his lip. "Said that you'd be able to take the helmet off in front of your wife."

Din winces, shaking his head again.

"She wouldn't want me." he insists, looking down. "Are you sure about that?" Greef responds, causing Din's heart to jump dangerously at the prospect. "She said she doesn't need to see your face to love you."

Din breathes in shakily, biting his lip, before his gaze meets his friends. Greef nods encouragingly, silently telling him to finally make a move on his feelings.

You are important to him, and he can tell that you are struggling with your feelings for Din. Pushing you two in the right direction is the least he could do for you.

Meanwhile, you are sitting with the child in between a group of kids. They had spotted you, asking if Grogu could play with them, and invited you to sit with them.

Din neares the group, already having spotted you due to the height difference - not because you seem to radiate under the sun, glowing like a goddess to him.

Of course not.

He stops behind you, taking a moment to watch the child jump on the numbers the kids had scribbled on the ground with chalk.

It looks like something out of a book, he notices. The peaceful and calm atmosphere seems strange to him.

Clearing his throat, he gets your attention, motioning for you to follow him with a tilt of his helmet. Asking the kids to look after Grogu, you stand up, following him.

He walks a few feet away, only stopping when no one's in earshot anymore.

"I'm thinking about staying." he begins, after a short silence. You nod, brows furrowing slightly. "How come?" you ask. He takes a moment longer to answer, gaze wandering behind you to the kids still playing with Grogu, before he looks back at you.

"Mandalore is still in reconstruction, and we will have to stay somewhere in the meantime." he explains, your heart picking up its pace at his choice of words. "We?" you ask, hope flaming up in your chest.

Would he stay with you, or let you stay with him, now that Mandalore is going to be rebuilt?

You had been spending time with the mandalorian for almost the whole while he was traveling with Grogu now, but never really had a place to stay at.

Except for Nevarro now.

"Grogu and I." he responds, and your heart cracks as he extinguishes the flame, before it had really become one.

Your face falls and you do your best not to let him notice, as you force yourself to smile, nodding with tears pricking in your eyes.

"Sure." you mumble, biting your lip, as you look down.

"And you if you want to."

You're heart stops at his words, gaze snapping back to his.

He swallows, heart racing in his chest. He's nervous, hands sweating in his gloves, as he tries to study your reaction.

"Really?" you want to know, fearing he'd take it back. But he nods, taking a step closer. "I talked to Greef." he admits, tilting his head.

You huff, now knowing why he came up with the topic in the first place.

"Of course, you have." you mumble, looking away from him. How much did Greef tell him? You should have known something was up, when he asked you to take the child with you.

He makes a sound like he wants to say something, but it gets stuck in his throat. "I like you." he then presses out, fists clenching at his sides.

He hates to talk about his feelings, never really having been good at it.

Your heart jumps, breath hitching in your throat as you look back at him. "I like you and I want you to stay with us." he adds, voice shaky even through the modulator.

You're not sure what exactly he means, goosebumps covering your arms at the prospect. "What do you mean you like me?" you ask, swallowing at the nerves bubbling up.

He sighs, helmet tilting downwards. "I mean that-" he sighs again in frustration, arms moving at his sides, as he seems to fight with himself, before he looks back up at you. "I mean that I have feelings for you, Y/N."

Your heart stutters in your chest, before it doubles its speed. Blinking rapidly, you try to process his words.

"I-I have feelings for you, too." you stutter, taking a step towards him. He inhales shakily, relief flooding him.

No matter what Greef had told him about your feelings for him, he still could have been wrong.

The relief momentarily blocks out the fear he's feeling, but it returns just as fast as it was gone.

"But I'm scared, cyar'ika." he voices, not giving you a chance to respond further, heart fluttering at the endearment. You had only heard it once before, and you were sure it meant something special.

"I don't want to bring you in harms way even further, because you'd be my weak spot."

You blush, still shocked at his confession.

"But the child is a weak spot, too." you remind him quietly, tilting your head as your brows furrow slightly.

"I don't want to end up like Paz." he whispers, voice cracking. "And another weak spot would only add to that possibility. When something happens to me you'd be left on your own. When something happens to you or the child-" he shakes his head, swallowing.

"I wouldn't know what to do."

You take another step closer, hand finding its way onto his arm, trying to comfort him. "Din, that won't happen." you assure him, trying to catch his gaze through the helmet.

"Paz had a son." he arguments, shaking his head at you. "His son lost his father." "He was a foundling." you retort, still feeling bad for the boy. "He'll learn to live without him, he still has a family: the other mandalorians."

Paz was a good man, he had sacrificed himself for his people, leaving behind his son.

"And what's with my wife, Grogu, kids of my own?" he questions. He's agitated, body trembling at the thought of disappointing you.

Your eyes widen at his words.

His wife, kids of his own.

He seems to notice what he said, a gasp leaving his lips, as his eyes widen as well. "I-I mean-" he stutters, panic creeping into his voice, but you smile at him.

"Din, you don't have to keep doing the dirty work for the rest of your life." you give back softly, silently hating that you can't see his eyes.

He snorts, taking a step back, so your hand falls from his arm. "And credits come flowing, sure."

Rolling your eyes, you shake your head. "We will find something that's less dangerous. Aside from that I'm sure Mandalore will have a place for us, a job. We'd manage."

"You're saying that like it would all be so easy for us." he gives back, shaking his head as well. You nod, licking your lip. "I know it's not always going to be easy, but I'm sure we'll manage." you repeat, closing the distance again.

He falls silent at that, only staring at you.

He can't seem to grasp why you are willing to spend your life with him - a mandalorian, someone who's made more enemies than he can possibly count.

"And now let's get back to the point where you told me you have feelings for me." you rasp out, taking his hand in yours.

His hand tightens around yours, thumb brushing over your knuckles as he exhales shakily.

"Do you know how long I hoped for you to say those words?" you chuckle, smiling up at him. He huffs, shaking his head with a chuckle of his own.

"I was sure you wouldn't want me." he breathes out, licking his lip. You huff, smile widening. "You have no clue, Din." you tell him. "And even if I don't know what you look like yet, I'm sure I will love it as well. It's not only your face, Din. It's you - everything about you, the way you care for the ones you love and how you do everything to protect them. It's you I love, not only the face I have yet to see. And if I have to marry you to see your face, I can't wait."

He's stunned at your words, mouth agape even though you can't see it.

He's never heard such beautiful words directed at him before. Hearing them come out of your mouth, only makes them more beautiful.

"Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum." he mutters, his voice soft. You tilt your head at him, not sure what he said. "It's mando'a." he says, and you swear you hear him smile under his helmet. "It means I love you."

You inhale sharply, eyes widening, and he wonders if he took it too far. "It sounds so beautiful." you reply, smiling broadly at him. He sighs in relief, smile returning.

"Ni kartayl gar darasum." you try to repeat it and he laughs, lightly shoving you at the way you mispronounce the words.

"We'll practice that." he assures you chuckling, wrapping his arm around you, to lead you back to the kids.

"For now let's focus on marrying so you can finally see my face."

cyar'ika: sweetheart

[seospicybin]

THAT SONG.

PART I

Han x reader. (s,f,a)

A chapter of On Tour.

Synopsis: Han forms a rock band with a help from you, his muse who is so cynical of love. (17,4k words)

Author's note: This is for my On Tour enthusiasts. Hope you like it x

Click here for That Song playlist.

It starts to annoy him how the vocalist keep messing up the chords. Instead of focus on playing his guitar and sing the lyrics right, he's busy making eyes with the girls standing in the front.

Han recognized one of them is you, he knows you because he shares a class with you and your writing recently won the university literary contest. But why would a beautiful and smart girl like you making the eyes with such a lousy, ego bigger than his actual skill guy?

Sure, the vocalist has the looks but he wouldn't look that good if he's playing the music himself. He missed the chords and been singing off key on the last two songs, no one noticed but Han.

Han doesn't even know why he agreed to help to fill the bass tonight but at least he'll get free beers tonight as an exchange. He's ordering his second bottle even though his first one is halfway finished. He turns to the side and finds you making your way toward him.

Han knows that it's good to be true if you're coming for him but he turns to the other side finding the incompetent vocalist gesturing you to come up to him. It's so rare for him to intervene with someone's business but Han really needs to stop you from making the wrong choices.

Next thing he knows, he outstretched his hand to stop you from going to the lousy guy, "Wait a minute!"

Your forehead wrinkles in confusion and he completely understands why.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he says with a thin smile and quick comes up with an explanation, "it's obvious that he likes to sleep with a lot of girls and you're probably going to wake up with a terrible rash."

You tilt your head and thinly smile at him, "Thanks for the tip."

Han quietly let out a breath of relief, "well, you're a nice girl. You don't want to be with that kind of guy."

You purse your lips then takes a sip, "that's where you're wrong. I'm not a nice girl."

You take a another sip of beer before talking again, "and you're cockblocking your friend right now," you tell him, pointing to the talentless vocalist at the end of the bar counter.

"Friend?" Han asks, offended that you think he's friends with that rockstar wannabe.

"He's not my friend. He's a dick actually and I'm just filling for my friend," he shortly explains and now that he gets rid of Bon Jovi look alike, he can smile again.

You snicker and put your bottled beer down, "You're cute," you tell him.

That gets him flustered, no girl ever told him cute before.

"But you reek of romance and good intentions," you continue.

That gets him baffled because isn't that what girls are looking for?

"As opposed to what..." he leers over to the lousy vocalist.

"He's handsome and emotionally unavailable," you fill his blanks and start walking away from him.

Han can't believe he's lost to the lousy vocalist. As his final effort, he grabs you by your elbow to stop you from going.

"Look, I'm not looking for a nice guy. I don't do boyfriends, I don't date," you bluntly tell him.

"All I hear is don't, don't and... don't," he says in a baffling tone.

"Don't waste my time," you sharply add.

Han is aware that he's overstepping and slowly lets go of you, you're an adult anyway, you can do whatever you want and that includes doing things he doesn't want you to do.

"See you in class then," he says as he returns to his beer.

You turn around on your feet, "we share a class?"

"Creative writing," he replies without looking at you.

"What's your name again?" You ask, even though you haven't asked before.

He looks at you and answers, "Han."

You take that information with a nod then clink your bottle with him, "see you in class, Han!"

Then off you go, doing the things he doesn't want you to do and making it clear to him that a guy like him doesn't stand a chance with a girl like you. - It's inevitable seeing you in campus, especially in the class you share together.

Since you knew his name, you'd wave your hand at the sight of him but it's probably some sort of joke to you to remind him how he flirted with you that night and you rejected him right away.

Han is relentless to change your mind because it annoys him so much that you would rather flirt with someone who doesn't even have an ounce of your worth.

A few weeks later at the same bar, he approaches you after he sees you send a guy away from disagreeing with you on an argument.

"Guess you scare him off," he comments as he takes the seat of the expelled guy.

You scoff in disbelief at him then sips your beer.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He offers, shamelessly taking another shot with you.

You laugh and wipe your upper lip with your thumb, "Didn't I made it pretty clear that I have no interests on going out with you?"

Han calmly looks at you and smiles, "you and I are going to be friends," he casually remarks.

"But I don't want to be friends with you," you shortly reply, not hesitating to reject him again.

Well, Han can only take two rejection in a span of two months, he'll try again a few weeks... or maybe this is a sign for him to give up and raise the white flag. He brings his beer with him and finds somewhere else where he can quietly drinks his beer. He stops caring about your presence the more intoxicated he gets.

To his short luck, Han gets lightheaded and since he's coming to the bar alone with no friend who can assist him home, he stops drinking. He exits the bar and realizes how late it is from how crowded that he has to go through sea of people to find the door.

To sober up a little, he stands outside with the brick wall supporting him, his head is clouded with smoke coming from a group of people smoking next to him. He pulls out his phone to order a taxi when he hears your voice. His head snaps to the door of bar and sees you drunkenly walking to the side of the road, hailing your hand for a taxi.

He's about to help you getting one when a man gets to you first, holding you from behind and opens the taxi door for you.

"I want to go home," you slur your words at him.

He forces you to get inside the taxi, "we're going home, baby."

You refuse to get in and jump out of the taxi, "not with you," you tell him.

"My apartment is close so you're coming with me," he insists, pushing you back into the backseat of the taxi.

You push him away when he's about to get in after you, "No, I don't want to go home with you!"

It starts to cause a scene outside the bar and it doesn't take a genius to know that this guy is going to take advantage of you.

Han shoves his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and comes to take you away from him.

"She said she doesn't want to go with you," Han tells him right at his face, holding you steady with his hands on your shoulders.

"Who the fuck are you?" The man curses at him.

"I'm her friend!" He shortly replies despite he knows he got rejected to be your friend a few hours ago.

The man grabs you back from him and forces you to enter the taxi, "stay the fuck out of my business!"

Han shoves him back and he pulls you along with him as he's staggering to the back, sending you stumbling down the pavement.

"Ouch!" You wince in pain.

Han hurriedly helps you getting up and helps you get into the taxi.

"Stay away from you, you fucking prick!" Han warns him before getting into the taxi.

You whine in pain next to him, holding your scraped knee with your hand and lolling your head to the side, eventually resting your head on his shoulder.

"Where do you live?" Han asks, feeling bad if he has to grope you around to find for your ID or phone.

"I don't want to go home," you mumble to him.

You nuzzle your head into his neck and mumble again, "let come home with you."

Han has no other option but to take you to his messy apartment. Thankfully, you're too intoxicated to notice the piling dirty laundry or the pizza box he hasn't thrown out since last night. You run to the bathroom the second he unlocked the door and he uses the opportunity to tidy up his place, or more like, hiding the mess out of the plain sight.

He quickly grabs a clean towel from the dryer then knock on the bathroom door to give it to you. He hears the flushing sound then you open the door not long after.

"A clean towel," he offers.

You take it from him through the crack of the door and follow him outside.

"Can I borrow your clothes?" You suddenly ask.

It's like you speak a different language that he takes a moment for him to process such simple words, "my clothes?"

You meekly show him your clothes damp with drops of water, "I can't sleep in this."

"Clothes," he says with a blank expression and it takes him another moment to finally get to his closet, finding any proper clothes for you to wear.

He picks the most decent piece of clothing he has and he remembers his parents gifted him a pajama set, it's the perfect time to put it to use.

"Here," he accidentally startles you as you scan his records collection.

You take the folded clothes from him and not hesitate to take your clothes off on the spot. Han immediately turns his back at you to give you privacy even though he can clearly see you changing clothes from the reflection of the TV screen.

"Can I have a glass of water?" You ask.

"Sure," he dashes to the kitchenette and pours a glass of water which reminds him to grab the first-aid kit from the drawer.

"Thank you," you mutter as you take the glass of water from him.

"Can you please sit down?" He kindly asks.

The options are the bed or the worn-out couch filled with his books. You walk over to the bed and sits at the end of it. He squats down on the floor and looks up at you, "Do you mind if I take a look at your knee?"

You shake your head while holding the glass of water with both hands on your lap. He rolls up the obviously a size too big pajama pants and takes a closer look at your scraped knee. It doesn't look bad once he cleaned.

It's probably the alcohol that hasn't fully left your systems yet that makes you numb to the stings of alcohol pads make contact with your wounded knee. Next, Han dabs antibiotic ointment on the wound with a cotton bud and apply a bandage to finish.

"Thank you," you mutter again.

Wow! It's the first time he heard so many thank you in one night and it's coming from the person he didn't expect to hear it from.

"You can rest now," he says, gesturing you to sleep on the bed.

"And where are you going to sleep?" You ask.

"I can sleep..." his eyes drift to the messy couch and silently sigh, "I can sleep anywhere."

"Please, share the bed with me," you plead with eyes that shine for him as he stands towering you.

"Okay," he agrees but he promised himself to leave the bed once you're asleep.

The night is getting late and he can't lie that he needs to lie down after an eventful night. He is late to claim his side of the bed as you already lie there, getting yourself under the cover.

"What are you listening to?" You ask, looking at the record player on the bedside table.

Han puts it there because he likes to lay on the bed and stares at the ceiling while listening to music. Unfortunately, he happens to forget what record he was playing the last time. He peers over to your side of the bed, one glance at the record and he knows what it is.

"Uhm... Sonic Youth," he answers.

You turn the record player on and slowly put the needle on it, music starts to fill the space with riffs of one of his favorite songs.

"Spinning dreams with angel wings. Torn blue jeans and a foolish grin," Kim Gordon opens the song with her sleepy, crooning voice.

You get comfortable on the bed and turn to the side, seeing him still standing at the side of the bed.

"Come, lay down with me," you say, patting the space next to you.

It's so stupid of him that he forgot to take off his jacket, he gets ride of it before climbing onto the bed and awkwardly slouches down the bed.

He knows you're looking at him as Kim Gordon repeatedly singing, "Star power, star power, star power..."

You take a deep breathe and put a hand under your head, "Maybe I really should stop dating handsome, emotionally unavailable men," you draw conclusions out of nowhere.

Han only nods in agreement even though he can't focus knowing that he's under the same cover with you.

"Maybe we should go on a date," you come with another shocking statement.

This time, he doesn't nod even though he wanted to.

You softly sigh again and gets up from the bed to lean close to his side, "I think you'll be good to me."

He dares himself to look at you and catches you softly smiling at him. Your eyes locked in a gaze that feels more intimate than a kiss.

You slightly tilt your head to the side then press a gentle kiss on his cheek, "Goodnight!"

You settle back on the bed and close your eyes with a smile that slowly fades from your face as you slowly drift to sleep.

Han reaches for his heating cheek and touches the searing kiss you left on it, foolishly holding the back of his hand to it like it would help him reeling from the kiss. However, he can replay the moment in his head and close his eyes to make it vivid.

The song that is still playing becomes distant but he can faintly hears Kim Gordon softly sings, "Close my eyes and think of you. Everything turns black to blue." - It's like someone has just pulled him out of the water, Han wakes up from his sleep gasping for air. He expects to see it's still night and you're still on the bed sleeping next to him. Panic, he gets up at once and looks around his studio apartment with sunlight filling and brightens the place.

"Morning," you greet from the couch with a bowl on one hand.

The mess of your hair looking like a halo on the top of your head and you warmly smile as your eyes locked in a gaze with him, emitting the same warmth of the morning sun at him.

"I hope you don't mind I'm eating your cereal," you say.

Disoriented, he scratches the back of his head and unsure what to do first because he's usually will fall back to sleep, especially when he has no morning class like today.

"I–I'll just..." he barely finishes his sentence and breaks into a run to the bathroom.

Last night, he made a plan to impress you. He planned on getting up early so he can buy some nice breakfast to eat together with you. He plans on having some fresh baked goods and hot coffee with you, not his cereal and milk from his empty fridge.

"Oh, why did I fall asleep?" He asks himself and reaches for his toothbrush to, at least, make himself look presentable in front of you.

He changes into a clean t-shirt he picked up from the washing machine and walks to the kitchenette, "Coffee?" He feels stupid for asking when he can clearly you have put the coffee pot on.

"Yes, please?" You sweetly answer to him.

He fills two mugs with steaming hot coffee and brings them to the couch, he wince seeing the cluttering mess on his table that he has to put some stuff to the side to make room for the mugs of coffee.

You're busy chewing on your cereal to notice it and he peers over to see you're reading his notebook.

"Oh—" he stops himself from snatching it away from you.

You notice that he's looking at it and quickly flip shut, then put it one the top of stack, "I'm sorry but it's laying around on the table so... I didn't mean to read your journal," you apologize.

He bites his lower lip, not expecting you to read his journal filled with his writings in there. It's worse than letting you walk around his messy apartment but he can't blame you when he should have kept it somewhere safe.

"I'm sorry," you apologize again.

"It's okay," he says with a smile to convince you that it's okay for you to read the song lyrics he wrote about personal things.

"How come you never submitted your works for the literary contest?"

Han lifts his mug and watches the curls of steam from his coffee, "I don't I can compete with you."

You put your legs up and hug them in front of you, "but your writing is beautiful."

"They're not... they're lyrics," he says.

"Oh?" You lowly gasp, "so you write songs?"

"Kind of," he answers and carefully sips his coffee.

"Have you performed any of these songs?"

Han shakes his head to strongly deny, "I like writing them but not performing them."

"Why not?"

"Because I..." his word trails off once he realizes that you're getting too personal with him but it's too late to stop now.

"I don't think they're good," he concludes.

You take your mug of coffee and hold it with both hands, "Well, I never thought any of my writings are good," you share.

"But they are good," Han points out the obvious since your writings always won the literary contest for two years in a row.

"So you read them," you say with a satisfied smile.

Again, he's too late to back out now, "who doesn't?"

You take a small sip of your coffee then ask, "What do you think?"

His mug stops midair as he's about to sip his coffee, "they're good, great..."

The sound of the phone ringing from somewhere across the room interrupts the talk, after a few seconds you recognize that it's yours and it's ringing inside your purse.

"I'm sorry," you excuse yourself to get it.

Han silently drinks his coffee and catches glimpes of your conversation on the phone, it's safe to say that you need to go after hanging up the call.

"Sorry, but I have to go," you say just as he expected.

Han tidies up the place as much as he can while you're changing your clothes in the bathroom, your phone rings again as he puts records piling on his bedside table back to the shelf. He didn't mean to look but your phone is right there, lying on the bed and he can see the caller.

Alex, it's a very masculine sounded name. He doesn't want to assume anything and stops thinking about it as he hears the bathroom door swings open.

"Thank you for letting me crashing in your place," you return the clothes your borrowed from him.

"No problem at all," he sheepishly says.

You check your phone and shove it inside your purse after, "Thank you for this as well," you show him your bandaged knee at him.

"It's nothing really," he says.

It's been a long time that Han has someone over his place, especially of the opposite sex. He's been out of the dating pool for much longer than that, he doesn't know the code anymore, what he should do next?

He decides to keep himself busy as you collect your things from around the room. Han is putting the dirty dishes on the sink when you speak to him from the foyer.

"I'm free this Friday."

He turns around to see you standing with one hand against the wall and the other is strapping your shoes in place, "huh?"

"I'm free this Friday," you repeated.

He's not deaf but what he doesn't get is the meaning of those words. Does it mean you want him to take you on a date? Or you set the date for both of you? Or you want to casually hang out with him? Or you need his help again at the bar?

In other words, he's stupid when it comes to social cues.

"You want me to... uh—"

"Friday at eight?" You say.

Oh, okay, that means you want to go on a date. He stifles a nod, "sure, yeah."

"Okay," you smile seeing him being awkward.

Han may have wanted to take you on a date but you're so smart, so composed, so confident, you're everything he's not and it's impossible for him not to feel the slightest bit intimidated. He doesn't know how to impress you, he only has himself and it's not enough.

"Can you stay sober until then?" He blurts out.

You crack a crisp laugh that echoes in his studio apartment, "I'll try," you vaguely answer.

The initial thought is he wants you to stay away from drinking except when he's there with you but you took it that he was being playful with you. Well, either way, he's glad that he can make you laugh.

"I'll see you again," you say with a bright smile.

"See you again," He says back.

And Han hangs on to those words, to the promise that he can see your smile again.

-

It's eight minutes past 8 pm on Friday night.

It's past the appointed time for the date but there no sight of you yet. A few minutes shouldn't be considered late, you must be on the way here and things happen, you may forget something after getting out of the door or traffic or... there's just so many reasons why you—

Han feels a tap on his shoulder which makes him turns on his feet.

"Hey, have you been waiting long?"

He is not ready to see you, not when he's almost think that you'll ditch both him and the date. But here you are, looking at him with a smile that gradually fades into a confused one.

"Are you okay?"

He snaps himself out of it and clears his throat, "No, I'm just—" he forgot the question you asked him and try again, "I mean I'm okay."

You look up at the sign of the place he takes you for the date, "I've never been here," you comment.

Doesn't know what to do with his hands, he shoves them into the pockets of his jacket.

"Me too," he casually says.

"Huh?" You blink your eyes at him, confounded.

-

Consider both of you lucky that there's still one more table available, it's Friday night so it's no surprise that it's crowded with people. Upbeat music is playing in the big hall filled with rows of ping-pong tables mixed with the sounds of the ping-pong balls hits either the players' paddle or the tables.

You shake the jacket off your shoulder once you get to the assigned table, "I don't know how to play table tennis," you admit right away to prepare him that an accident or two is imminent.

"Me too," he innocently answers from the end of the table as he takes a paddle.

That explains why he never been here but still, why would he takes you here if he can't play?

"You're not serious, right?" You place your jacket on the empty bench on the side of the table.

"I'm serious," he says as he takes his jacket off.

You burst into laughter but he's just so clueless on why you're laughing.

"Most men would use this chance to show off that they're good at something but you..." you shrug and choose a paddle to use.

Han takes a ball from a box and bounces it on the table, "Well... I am not most men," he coyly says.

Not going to lie, that's so attractive of him, especially with strands of his curly hair falling over his face.

"Okay," you nod in acknowledgment.

You take your position on your side of the table, warming up your hands by opening and closing your hands before wrapping your hand around the handle of the paddle.

"Your serve," you give him the permission to start the game.

Han also takes his stance and throws the ball straight upward, he supposedly hits the ball when it's still hung in the air with the paddle but instead of that, his paddle flung across the table and caught by the net.

There's a dead air hanging between you and him as you both stare at his paddle stranded in the middle of the table. You look away to not embarrassed him more and see everyone is having a bottle of beer on their table.

You turn to look at him and ask, "beer?"

"Yep!" He shortly replies.

After two bottles of beers drained and a lot more failed attempts at serving the balls, you get the hang of it even though it's not to the level of what a proper ping-pong should be played.

"Another round?" You ask.

He doesn't wait but calls to order more drinks, "More beers, please!"

At the second round, your neck is moist with sweat and you can feel beads of sweat forming on your back, you plop down on the bench in exhaustion. Han gulps his bottle of water next to you, "another round?"

"I'm on a roll, sure!" You eagerly accept the offer.

"Loser have to pay for dinner?" He dares you with a lopsided grin.

It's a fair game since you're both terrible at it, you have nothing to lose except for your self-esteem. You offer your hand for a handshake at him, "deal!'

He takes your hand and firmly shakes it, "deal!"

The game is getting intense, you have your hair tied in a messy ponytail while Han has the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbow. Under the fluorescent lights you can see the evident veins coiling his arms, got you distracted more than once.

It's a tie, there's only one point needed to determine the winner. It's his serve so you prepare yourself to receive it even though your hand starts shaking.

"Don't go crying when you're lost," he teases you, bouncing the ball against the table with his hand.

"No problem. I look prettier when I cry," you shot back at him with a nonchalant shrug and a smile.

Han catches you off guard and shot a topspin serve. Fortunately, you reflex is still good despite your body is close to giving up, you shoot the ball back to him as hard as you can. He's heading to the right side to get it but too late to catch the ball right on time, it goes past him, bouncing to the wall on the back.

"Yes!" You jump on your feet to celebrate.

While Han just stands there and gives you an applause with a defeated look on his face.

"I WANT BURGERS!" You enthusiastically shout at him loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Okay, okay," he quickly responds and gestures you to calm down.

Since he's the one paying for dinner, you feel bad to order a lot of food so you take him for coffee and dessert after as a way to pay back for dinner, also because you're still hungry.

He lifts his cup of iced americano to make a toast, "To celebrate that we're no longer beginners on table tennis!"

Your hands are shaking when you lift your cup of cappuccino and he notices too, sending you both into laughters. You use both hands to lift it and carefully clink your drinks together to not slosh the content, "that was a good game," you comment.

"It was!" He agrees and drinks his coffee with a straw.

You share two slices of cakes together, he chose a cheesecake while yours is tiramisu, digging at it with forks and eating it between talks.

"Are you working on a writing at the moment?" He asks.

You wash down the spoonful of cake with coffee before answering,

"Kind of..." you vaguely answer.

"Is it for the upcoming literary contest?" He asks.

"I'm working on a lot of things at once," you share with a dry laugh.

Han nods and shoves a piece of cake into his small mouth. His cheeks are round and full when he's eating, you find them really adorable.

He catches you watching him eat and you hurriedly look away, "so..."

You remember the unanswered question on the last conversation you had with him at his place, you've been wondering what his true answer is.

"What do you think of my writings?"

"They're great. I like your choice of metaphors and yeah, they're great," he answers with mouth stuffed with food.

You sense that there's more than just great. You slightly tilt your head to the side and look at him, "But...?"

He stops chewing as you ask him that like he got caught lying. Maybe he is lying but with a good intention.

"You can be honest with me," you assure him while cutting a small piece of the cheesecake.

He sips his coffee to empty his mouth from food and properly answers to you, "There's nothing wrong with your writings," he begins.

He sits up straighter and looks at you, "it's just that... I get this impression that you're a bit... cynical?"

You lowly laugh and say, "wrong!"

You chew on the cake and stack your hands together on the table, "Not a little. I am cynical," you correct him.

Han licks his lips and presses them together into a thin line, perhaps feeling bad for analyzing your personality through your writings.

That only proves that he's not only reading for the sake of entertainment but he truly reads things between the lines. In that moment, you feel so bare and vulnerable in front of him.

"I witnessed two people falling out of love, breaking and tear each other apart until there's nothing left of them," you candidly share and put your hand around the coffee cup to absorb the warmth.

"Why would I want the same? I've seen enough for like... the last fifteen years of my existence so no, thank you, not interested," You conclude with a sad smile.

Han meekly nods as he sips the last of his coffee in silence. It's unclear why you decide to share personal things with him but deep down you know it's because he's not going to laugh at your pain.

-

With no sight of stars and the moon in the night sky, it only means that there are big dark clouds and it's going to rain soon. Han insists on walking you to your apartment even though he has to walk back to the bus stop to go home.

Notice that you're only a block away, you don't want this night to end with the tragic story you shared about your parent's divorce.

"I had a fun date," you comment.

Han smiles and he has the kind of smile that shines from the inside, there's nothing fake about it.

"It was a fun date," he says.

"I never had a date this nice before," you add to show him that you're not being phony.

"Me too," he responds.

He said those two words three times so far and you begin to wonder if you're actually suck at dates. You always skip this part and go straight to the sexual stuff, maybe that's why.

Once you both arrive at the entrance of your apartment building, you turn around and without thinking you ask, "Want to go upstairs?"

With another man, you wouldn't fuss much whether they want to come with you or not but with him, you have this force inside you to not screw this up. You look at him and can't tell if he's nervous, or surprised, or horrified. He's just standing with his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets even though the weather is pleasant.

"We don't have to do anything," you quickly mutter and immediately regret it because what if he wants to do something?

As always, honesty is the best policy. Well, that depends on how embarrassing the truth is. This one is still bearable, so you say, "I still want to talk to you."

The streetlight shines down on him, filling his brown eyes with dark glints and enthralling you to stare.

He nods and follows you inside. You feel awkward leading him to your floor, climbing the flight of stairs in silence but the echoes of your footsteps on the steps.

"Here I am," you stop in front of the door to your unit.

You rummage inside your purse for your key and push the door once you unlock it. The second you hear the song playing inside, you hurriedly close it again.

"What?" He asks you in a mix of panic and curiosity.

"Alex is listening to Sza," you answer.

"Alex?"

You forget that he doesn't know the context, you lock the door again and stand blocking him as if he would dare to barge inside.

"Alex is my roommate and she puts on Sza when she's having a guy over as some sort of code," you concisely explain.

"Ah..." he sighs in relief.

Is he relieved because he doesn't have to come inside or relieved because he doesn't want to talk to you? Is he— you never let your negative thoughts win so you find the alternative.

"How about your place?" You ask with a sly smile.

He considers it for a moment then says, "We should run then."

"Run? Why?"

"The last bus is in fifteen minutes," he simply answers.

"Oh?"

-

The two of you are drenched from running from the bus stop to his apartment in the rain, he lets you use the bathroom first to change while he prepares clothes you can borrow from him.

Han puts it on the end of the bed and you can comfortably change as he takes his turn to use the bathroom. You seem to have found comfort in his apartment which is a lot tidier after he realizes that someone could visit him uninvited.

Candidly speaking, the only person he thinks would come visit him is you.

You pull out a record from the shelf and put it on the record player, the music drowning out the sound of raindrops pattering against the window glass. As if it's your own bed, you sit with your back resting against the headboard, covering your legs with the duvet.

"Why are you standing there?" You ask him.

He towels dry his hair quickly before doing what you ordered him, sitting next to you on the bed.

"It's not like we haven't shared a bed before," you add and get comfortable by putting a pillow behind your back.

Whether it's the proximity or because he has run through the rain that makes him feel snug and warm all of a sudden, the raindrops pattering against the window supports this comforting atmosphere.

"How long have you been collecting?" You gesture to his shelf full of records.

It must be a headache to find a certain record because he doesn't organize them but you refrain from telling him.

"Some are my father's, I brought them with me when I moved out of the house and I started collecting two years ago," his fingers are playing with the lint on his sweatpants as he's speaking.

"You own some rare ones?" You ask in a curiosity.

"I have The Beatles White Album with printing number 0000523," he answers with a proud smile.

"Wow!" You exclaim in awe, you're familiar with the knowledge that the value of the album can go up significantly if it has a low printing number and he owns one.

"Just know that if I lost it, I'd know that you did it," he jokes.

"Dang! I was planning the whole robbery thing in my head," you joke back.

The rain has turned into drizzle and it gets quiet in the room, but the kind that makes him not feel pressured to fill it, a comfortable kind.

"What's your favorite song?" You ask out of the blue.

He hisses because it's like you're asking who is his favorite child. Not that he has any but he knows the dilemma.

"Don't think!" You tell him.

"Just one that pops on the top of your head," you offer an easy way to pick one.

There's this one song that automatically plays inside his head when he looks at you. It's one that he's unconsciously humming when he's in the shower, tying his shoes, or pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning.

Not sure if you can catch the reference, he calmly answers, "Lovely Day by Bill Withers."

You nod in acknowledgment and smile, "That's a nice one!"

He turns to look at you, "and you?"

"Off You by The Breeders," you shortly reply as if you have waited a long time for this question.

Except that Han never heard of the song or the band. He feels bad for not knowing and you catch on it right away.

"You never heard of it?"

Han sheepishly shakes his head.

"You're lucky that I still have my Spotify premium," you playfully say and pick up your phone to play the song for him.

You set the volume to the highest setting then put your phone between you and him on the bed, listening to the intro of the song of low, minimal bass and guitar. The song somehow fits the moment, the singer sings like she's telling a story or a poem.

"I am the autumn in the scarlet. I am the make-up on your eyes."

That's such interesting lyrics and Han intently keeps listening to know why this is your favorite song. One thing he knows is this is one of the songs he can listen to while lying and staring at the ceiling.

"I've never seen a starlet or a riot or the violence of you."

He hears you sigh next to him and he looks to the side to see that you're crying, he knows it for sure as the tears on your cheeks reflect the lights at him. He leans and checks to see if you're okay, he puts your hair away and then tucks it behind your ear.

"Are you okay?"

You look at him with your eyes glassy and filled with sadness, "I don't want to get hurt," you croak

It must be scary for you to open up to someone when you've seen the worst thing love can do to a person. He understands the fear well because he has the same heart that lies and beats inside his chest.

It's vulnerable yeah but we are never fully broken to the point that we're irreparable.

However, Han doesn't intend to break it, he wants to embrace it, nurture it, and protect it with all of his might.

He cups your jaw with his thumb and gently wipes your wet cheek, "I'm not going to hurt you," he says with a soft smile.

More tears roll down your cheeks as you close your eyes, it's a heartbreaking sight to see.

To prove his words, he holds your face and leans in to kiss you, pouring all of his heart's content that strangely only expands in size the longer he kisses you.

Han lets go of the kiss yet holds a tender gaze with you, "I'm not going to hurt you," he reassures.

You hold the hand holding your face and softly smile at him, a smile that tells him that you've decided to trust his words.

For that, Han slowly sails into your heart and strands himself on the island inside your chest.

You rest your head on his shoulder as he puts his arm around your shoulder, welcoming you into his warm embrace. Both of you stay like that while listening to the rest of the song which encased you both in a bittersweet moment.

"I land to sail... Island sail. Yeah, we're movin'... Yeah, we're movin'..."

-

This is what he means when he says Lovely Day automatically plays in the back of his head when he looks at you.

Han has been watching you sleep for a few minutes now, leaning against the desk with arms crossed in his chest and he can vividly hear Bill Withers singing inside his head.

"Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be a lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day."

You're pretty when you cry but even prettier when you sleep with a hand under your head, so still and so quiet, looking like an angel lost in her dream.

"Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day," the song is playing in his head on a loop.

The sun is rising and he doesn't want you to wake up yet for he wants to stare at your face longer. The sight of the baked goods he bought from the bakery across the street is disagreeing with him, it was still hot when he bought it and it's more likely to get cold if you don't wake up soon.

Then again, how can he disrupt an angel who's peacefully sleeping and away from the harm of the world?

Well, the sound of your phone ringing can.

A crease forms between your eyebrows as you force yourself awake from slumber. The song playing in his head abruptly stops and it reminds him to stop watching you. Han gets away from the bed and pretends to be busy in the kitchenette. In his peripheral, he can see your hand groping around the bedside table for your phone and check it.

"Morning!" You sleepily greet from the bed.

He plays it cool and turns to see you, "Morning!" He says back.

"Coffee?" He asks with a clean mug in his hand.

"Yes, please?" You say with a delicate smile that soothes him like a morning dew.

"Can I stay on the bed?" You ask with a shy laugh.

"Yeah, sure," he replies, looking at you wrapped in a blanket.

Han brings your mug of coffee first and makes another trip to bring his and the bag of bakery on the other hand.

"What do we have?" You're eyeing the bag, not daring to look into it yourself.

"Breakfast," he casually says and opens it for you, the buttery smell of freshly baked goods wafting around the room.

You start with a sip of coffee then dig inside the paper bag to grab a piece, tearing at it and eating it piece by piece.

You get interrupted by your phone dings with a new message.

"Your roommate?" He wildly guesses.

"Yeah, she wants me to come home quick," you answer, "she needs the intervention."

"Huh?"

"That means she doesn't like the guy she's having over in our place and wants me to intervene, you know, an excuse to get him out of the house," you explain then lick the powdered sugar on your finger.

"I see," he says even though he wants you to stay a little longer.

Just like you heard his thought, you quickly add, "Not that I don't want to stay. She did it for me like two months ago so I kind of owe her one."

He sips his coffee and assures you, "It's alright."

You rummage inside the paper bag to get another piece and without looking at him, you ask, "I have something to ask you."

He suddenly turns rigid at the men of something to ask because it sounds intriguing, scary, and exciting at the same time.

"Yes," he grips the handle of the mug a little too hard.

You bite into the bread with a custard filling and gets on your upper lip. In reflex, he wipes it for you with his thumb and you giggle once you notice the mess around your mouth.

"And the question?" He asks, genuinely curious about what you're about to ask him before the custard gets in the way.

"Oh, yeah, uhm..." you drink your coffee and hold it with both hands on your lap, "Is it too early if I ask you on a second date now?"

That, he didn't expect to hear at all but it makes him feel the same way, intrigued, scared, and excited, it's a mixed feelings.

"No," he honestly answers with a shy smile. He's never been with a girl who's this bold and so upfront like you, he likes it though, it makes things easier for him.

"How about tonight?" You ask with hopeful eyes and even a hopeful smile.

When you asked if it's too early he didn't know it would be this early, the earliest he could think of is next Friday.

"To–tonight?" He stammers.

You tilt your head to the side and hold your mug close to your lips, "No?"

"No," he responds without thinking.

He immediately realizes you might have thought he answered out of pressure, "I would love to!"

A smile rises on your face as you bite into your bread again, "okay," you say.

Han makes the bed and then gets himself another cup of coffee while you're changing in the bathroom. He's already planning on going back to sleep after you leave.

Your phone rings again at the same time you step out of the bathroom, "Alex! Oh, my God!" You groan and accept the call.

"I'm coming!" You briefly speak into the phone then hang up.

You shove your things into your purse and put on your jacket, looking at him to say, "I'll text you about the date."

He nods and puts his coffee mug down to send you off, watching as you bend down to put on your shoes with your hair falling around your face like a waterfall.

You gasp as you stand right in front of him, "See you later?"

"See you later," he repeated, his voice tinted with excitement and intrigue but not scared.

He should have known that you're subtly hinting at a kiss as you look at him with a sweet smile on your face. This is why learning social cues is important, he missed a lot of things because of—

The next thing he knows, your lips are on his lips and your hand is fisting the front of his t-shirt, clutching at it as you brush your soft lips over his. You taste as sweet, as smooth as the custard cream you were eating earlier, he just can't enough.

Bill Withers' voice starts to fill his head again as you pull away from the kiss with a smile on your parted mouth.

"Okay, then," you hurriedly let go of his t-shirt and shyly fix your hair, "bye!"

The song keeps playing even after you leave and close the door behind you, he can hear Bill Withers singing the part where he holds the note for 18 seconds, endlessly playing in the back of his mind.

"Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day...."

-

Han doesn't want to be late so he leaves early but when he gets to the appointed place that is a museum, he sees the sign that says closed. Is he late or come to the wrong place? He checks the text you sent him and he's right, it's the only museum with this name.

He starts pacing and thinking of calling you, that way you don't have to bother coming here.

"You're early!" You say as you come from the other direction.

"I was about to call you," he blurts out.

You sense the panic in his voice and ask, "Why? What's wrong?"

He shows you the closed sign hanging on the glass door of the museum entrance, "it's closed."

Instead of disappointed, you break a laugh and gently grab his elbow, "it's closed because of the event we're going to attend," you explain, then link your arm with his to walk towards the entrance.

Despite the closed sign, the entrance is not locked but security is stopping both of you at the end of the hallway. You pull something out of your purse and show it to them, tickets.

They let you both walk through the scanner and enter the main hall of the museum, they keep the lights low but he can see people gathering around the small stage that is set between two large marble statues with a big painting decorated on the wall on the back.

"What is this?" He asks in pure curiosity.

You take two cups of beer provided for guests and hand one to him, "It's an exclusive music session, only fifty people are invited to this," you keep your voice low to avoid the chat echoing in the vast hall.

"How did you get the tickets?" He asks along with a sip of his beer.

"From a friend of a friend," you vaguely answer.

That's enough details, he's sure that someone like you has contact here and there. He shouldn't be surprised, he sips his beer and takes a spot on the back row of people getting ready to watch with the intro starts playing from the set.

"Is it a band I know?" He asks.

You scrunch your nose at him, "not sure."

The intro is building up and getting louder, the crowd welcoming the band with a wave of applause and patiently waiting as they get ready with their instruments. There are three of them, the vocalist takes center stage with a guitar slung across his chest, the one who greets the crowd is taking the left side with his keyboard and the other one occupies the right side with his drum kit.

It's one band that he never heard before but he likes how experimental their music is, the kind that is groundbreaking and atmospheric. They mix the sounds from their instruments with samplers playing from an electronic kit, the big hall helps echo the music back at him to create this grand sound effortlessly.

With only a small group of people watching and no one pulling their phones out, it's immersive and intimate. You ditch the cup of beer and turn to look at him, putting your hands on each side of his waist, singing the lyrics the band is playing.

"I just want to love you in my own language," you mouth every word of the lyrics to him.

With a smile, you lean in to gently kiss him in the dark of the room. You pull away from the kiss and put your hands around his neck, slow dancing to the song like two lovers left alive.

-

The taxi ride home reminds him of that night except that you're sober and you're sitting close next to him, holding his hand

"What do you think of our second date?"

He looks up from watching his hand clasped with yours on his thigh, "it was nice."

You nod, "Nice is good!"

It was more than nice that he can't describe it with words, Han feels the need to assure you that, "It's the best date I've ever had!"

A smile grows on your beautiful face like a blossoming flower, "our first date is still the best but this comes close to that," you half agreed with him.

Han is getting used to seeing you on his bed and wearing his clothes, smiling as you watch him getting onto the bed to sit next to you.

"Don't you want to play your songs like that too?" You ask out of the blue.

He wanted to but he's not confident if he is that good and there's another thing too. He shakes his head and shyly laughs at the brief images of him performing his songs.

"Why not?" You ask.

"I'm not that good," he shortly answers.

You scrunch your nose in disagreement and he likes it whenever you do that, "I don't believe that."

He hates to disappoint you but that's just the truth, the songs he wrote, he's not planning on letting them out to the world for everyone to hear.

You stack your legs to one side, facing him, "Can I ask you something?"

Another question, how thrilling! He nods in excitement at what you're curious about.

"Is the second date too early for us to have sex?"

Han chokes on his saliva and stifles a cough. A part of him wants to take things slow with you but another part of him fancies you so much he can't say no to you. He should choose to be wise and choose the former, right?

"Uh... I think we should wait until the third date," he says and his mouth feels bitter saying it.

"Ah, okay," you repeatedly nod.

A moment passes in silence then you turn to look at him, "I mean, we can start by sleeping naked together," you suggest an idea.

He swallows air at the mention of 'naked' and 'together', it seems impossible to him to do that without involving anything sexual in between.

"Or we'll wait for the third date, that's fine," you quickly add with an awkward laugh.

Things are moving so fast that Han is still having a hard time processing everything that happened in the last seven days. But why would he stop when things are going well between you and him?

You wanted this and he wanted this too, as long as you both are going in the same direction, why hit the brake and risk everything going off track?

"We can sleep naked together," he says with a plain tone.

"Yeah?"

He nods and turns to sit on the edge of the bed, volunteering to be the first to take his clothes off. The bed shifts and he guesses you decide to start taking your clothes off too.

Han hurriedly gets under the duvet and watches you unclasping your bra. He stops looking as you get up to remove your underwear. You crawl back onto the bed and get under the cover, slowly settling yourself next to him, putting your hand on his bare chest.

"You're shivering," you lowly speak with your face only inches away from him, then proceed to snuggle next to him.

He stares at the ceiling because he knows, if he looks at you, he wants to kiss you and a kiss will unlock the raging desire inside him. He can feel your nipples graze his side as your body overlaps half of his body, your leg drapes around his with your foot softly rubbing his shin.

You lean into his side and place a long kiss on his neck, your hand slides down his front, stopping right on his abdomen.

"How about now, mmh?" You softly whisper.

Using your fingers, you lightly touch his abdomen making lazy circles on the skin.

"I have condoms in my purse if that's your concern," you tell him.

Han is getting weak with every kiss you place on his neck and the skin behind his ear. He turns his head to the side and is about to tell you what his concerns are but you capture his lips in a rapturous kiss.

You gently lick his lips before pulling away, "I want to do this with you," you assure him.

He doesn't know how to tell you that it's not you, it's him and his low self-esteem. He kisses you again to brace himself to speak his worry with you.

"I'm bad at it," he says.

That gets you quiet for a moment, "says who?"

He's unsure of it too but mostly it's the anxiety talking, "Me?"

You lowly chuckle and put more of your body on top of him, "How do I know you're bad if I haven't tried?"

That's what confuses him too. It's not like he has a rating written on his head for his sex skill, "I—"

You cut him off with a kiss and shut him up for good as you keep kissing him, your hand sliding lower until you meet his hardening member.

You stimulate him with gentle strokes, lightly rubbing his tip with your thumb while lowly moaning against his lips. You pull away from the kiss to say, "You can touch me."

Hesitate for a while, Han rests his hand on the arch of your back, his fingers trailing down your spine as you continue kissing him. You know how to use your lips, your tongue, your teeth, he can lay there and let you kiss him day and night. He wraps his arms around you to fully feel you against his body, skin to skin.

"How are you so soft?" He doesn't mean to say it out loud but you smile hearing his words.

You give him a long peck on the lips before excusing yourself to get the condom from your purse. His eyes follow you as you climb onto the bed.

Sitting next to his body with all of your hair draped on one shoulder, you rip open the foil packet and carefully, roll the rubber down his length. You crawl over his body and slowly put your body on top of him, continuing the fiery kisses that kindled the fire inside him.

This time, Han lets his hands freely roam your body, trailing the curve of your body, and feels your flesh molds into the palm of his hands.

You place a long peck on his lips before getting up, kneeling with your body between your bodies. You put your hand on his chest and say, "Just lay back, I'll do all the work."

He swallows air and with his own eyes, he sees you taking a seat on his thighs and wrapping your hand around his swollen cock. You rub it against your wetness which he can see and feel, it takes everything in him to not let his brain shut down.

"Oh," you moan with your eyes closed as you keep rubbing his shaft between your folds.

You roll your head around while letting out a long moan and then look at him in the eyes with a sly smile on your face. Still holding it in your hand, you position yourself and align his cock with your entrance, then you slowly lower yourself down his length.

"Oh," you moan again.

It's the sight of his cock disappearing into you that gets his jaws hanging open, you moan some more as you take all of him and seated on his thighs again. A low laugh spills out of your parted mouth as you tilt your head back, then say, "Oh, my— oh, I need a moment!"

Han feels like he's having an out-of-body experience, he's getting turned on more from looking at you doing things to him than the feeling of being inside you. He believes it's because his brain has a hard time catching up, he can only look at you with eyes wide open.

"How do I feel?" you lowly ask with a peck on his open mouth, then kiss his neck next, "Do I feel good, mmh?"

His brain is so close to short-circuiting that he can't form a verbal answer, he stifles a nod and draws a big breath instead.

As you straddle him, you take his hands and put them on your body, touching yourself using his hands, smooth as silk that he whimpers under his breath. You drop his hands on your thighs and put your hands on his chest as you start rolling your hips back and forth, at times, you move in circular motions.

Han lets out a groan as you abruptly stop moving and take his hands away from you, "Give me a moment," you say with a hoarse voice.

You flip all of your hair away to the back then plant both feet against the mattress on each side of his body. You prop your hands behind you and against his thighs as support.

In this position, Han can see his cock slips in and out of you as you bounce on top of him with your head thrown back and moaning, filling the room with your lewd noises. He can feel it now, your walls wrapping and tightening around him. His hands flew to your hips, trying to slow you down but instead of that, he gripped each side of your waist until his nails dug into the flesh.

"Oh..." you breathless moan.

"So good, so good," you repeatedly chant as your hips pick up the speed.

He doesn't mean to cum first but watching you enjoying yourself and fucking him so good gets him so overwhelmed, it just happens.

Seeing you getting tired, he helps you by guiding you to move on top of him. Your skin is moist with sweat, your breasts are bouncing with every movement and your breath is ragged.

"So close, oh, so close," you tell him between your whines.

He draws you close until your chest meets his so he can start bucking his hips from under you. His mouth is pressed against your shoulder as you're moaning so close to his ear.

"I'm cumming, oh..." you muffle your scream by pressing a haste kiss on his lips.

You whimper against his lips as you're reeling from the immense pleasure, returning the kisses with tongue and teeth clashes in your mouth. You both gasp for air the second you let go of the kiss and slowly come down from the high by cuddling each other.

Han gets comfortable touching your body now, he lightly touches you and kisses the skin that he can put his lips on as you're lying on top of him.

"That wasn't bad," you say with your eyes closed.

He notices the blissful smile on your face that can only mean everything went well unlike what he thought it would be.

You lean in to kiss his cheek and kiss his lips next, longer than the previous one, "This counts as our third date," you remark.

It usually scares him that things are going so fast but this feels right. Maybe all these times, he was wrong trying to fit everything into everyone's standard when in fact, things should go at his own pace.

He wouldn't let this slide away just because the time it took from him knowing you to date you happens in a week.

"Okay," he agrees.

You smile and place a long peck on his lips, "we're dating now," you say.

"Yes."

"I am your girlfriend now," you inform with a sly smile.

He lets out a chuckle and puts his hand on the nape of your neck, "And I am your boyfriend."

"That's right!" You respond.

"We're boyfriend and girlfriend," he remarks.

Even though it feels foreign in his mouth, he likes the sound of it. You and him, boyfriend and girlfriend.

-

TWO MONTHS LATER

Han is so used to thinking that he's the only character existing in his life. Han shopping for groceries by himself, Han does his laundry himself, Han makes coffee for one, Han sleeps alone on his bed, and he thinks of those kinds of scenarios in his head often enough to prepare himself that maybe what his future would be like.

Never once did he think another character would enter his scenarios. But looking at you walking around his apartment in his clothes, eating food from his fridge, and sleeping together almost every night, he starts to think that maybe his future wouldn't be as bleak as he thought it would be.

He also used to be by himself, he can't stand being in a room with anyone else and it's strange how fast he can adjust himself to your presence.

He's happy as long as you're around him, just like now. He's sitting with his back against the headboard, a guitar on his lap, and been aimlessly playing it yet you remain unbothered, lying sideways with a hand propped under your head while reading a book, occupying the end of the bed.

Even sharing the silence with you isn't boring, it's comfortable and nice. How can it get boring when he gets to see your beautiful face as much as he wants?

"Babe?" He calls.

You look away from your book, "yeah?"

"Want to hear a song I wrote about you?" He asks with a sly grin.

You exhale and close your book, "Okay, let's hear it."

Han takes a breath and memorizes the chords he's going to play, he begins by placing his fingers on the guitar fret to form the A chord.

He strums and starts singing, "Spinning on that dizzy edge. Kissed her face and kissed her head. Dreamed of all the different ways. I had to make her glow.”

Once he finds the rhythm, he can confidently look at you as he continues singing and playing his guitar.

"'Why are you so far away?' she said. 'Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you, that I'm in love with you?'"

With such agility, his fingers seamlessly change their position based on the chords he's playing on the fret.

"You... Soft and only. You... Lost and lonely."

He smiles as he sings and stares at the expression on your face as you intently listen to him.

"You... Strange as angels. Dancing in the deepest oceans. Twisting in the water."

He raises the note at the end and croons, "You're just like a dream. You're just like a dream."

He aggressively strums the strings to end the song and lifts his guitar in pride.

"It's good, right?" He asks with a subtle eyebrow raise.

You turn and lay on your stomach, not sure if you know that in that position, he can see your cleavage as your breasts almost spill out of your black tank top. He shouldn't be seeing those but it's easy to tell you're not impressed with the song he played.

"Three things," you simply say.

"Go ahead and tell me," he allows you with a hand gesture.

"First, you think I wouldn't know that it's The Cure song?" You ask with a hand under your chin.

He looks up and shrugs, he can't find any reason why you wouldn't know such a widely known band, "Well..."

"Second is I don't like love songs," you share with an apologetic smile.

It hits him just now that he should know you're not a fan of love songs. He agrees with a nod, "Okay, noted. The third?"

"I don't want you to write a love song about me," you say.

"Oh, come on!" He groans in complaint.

"I haven't been dating anyone in a long time and now that I have a girlfriend, I have so much to get off my chest so let me be gooey and cheesy!" He rambles and runs out of breath at the end of the sentence.

"I'm not saying you can't write love songs," you say with a subtle eye roll.

"You want me to write love songs about... someone else?" He asks with confusion.

"Or about something like your faded and worn-out Supreme t-shirt," you answer.

Han can't tell if you're trying to mock him, make fun of him or completely joking, either way, he's feeling offended.

"Can I write a hate song about you then?" He asks.

You scrunch your nose and ask, "A hate song?"

"Yeah like things I hate about you," he says with a sneer.

He picks up his guitar and places it on his lap again, "You know what? I wrote one already just now," he says.

You stifle a laugh and lightly shake your head, "The stage is yours."

Han lies about making a song in his head just now but he starts by strumming his guitar and plays a combination of chords.

"I hate your hair..." he begins, strumming two chords in between as he thinks of another lyric.

"The way it always falls perfectly in place and makes you look like a girl in a shampoo ad," he tries to fit the melody to the chords he's playing.

"Hate it when you fix my grammar and insist that it's pronounced keen-wah instead of queen-noa," he continues while thinking of another thing he hates.

"I know you're right but god please let me be a man with pride."

You dramatically roll your eyes at that one while keep listening to him as he goes through a bridge which is just him playing the same four chords on repeat.

"Hate it, hate it that I'm your boyfriend," he keeps going.

"Now people going to compare us and say you have the prettiest smile," He slips two chords in between, "but that's okay... because I have the bigger brain."

You frown at that one and throw daggers with your eyes, he takes that as his cue to stop with his make-up song and ends it with a slap on the guitar.

"So..." he drags the word as silence hangs in the air, "what do you think?"

You tilt your head to one side and stay quiet for a moment. You rub your temple is never a good sign and he prepares himself for the worst.

Then you suddenly ask, "Want to make out?"

He repeatedly nods like a happy puppy, putting away his guitar as you crawl on the bed towards him. You put your leg over his body and sit on his lap.

You smile as you look down at his face with your hands holding his face, and then you slowly put your lips on his lips, kissing him with fondness.

He no longer hesitates to touch you, he puts his arms under and around you, angling your head so he can kiss you deeper, and when he pulls away from the kiss, he drags his mouth down the column on your neck.

"Han?" You softly call.

He hums and answers your call with a kiss because that's most likely what you're going to ask him which is to kiss you again.

The hand on his chest pushes him away and keeps a few inches between your faces, "I read your journal this morning," You suddenly confess and hurriedly kiss him, knowing that he's going to be mad about it.

It's his turn to push you away with his hands on your shoulders, "You went through my underwear drawer?"

There's a surprised look on your face, "Ew, no. It was lying near the window sill," you say.

It's his habit of forgetting things, where he puts them, and forgets to put them back in its place. He's bad with his memory but the thing is you read it.

"Another thing on the list of things I hate about you," he remarks.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," you sigh.

"I wrote about my most personal things there," he says with his hands resting on your shoulder blades.

"Like how you lost your virginity in the backseat of a car while Radiohead's most depressing song is playing in the car stereo?"

"Exit Music For A Film is not depressing," he defends himself.

"They wrote it for the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack and they didn't even play it in the movie because guess what?"

"It's depressing?"

You nod and put your hands on his chest, it's time to turn the conversation back on track, "No one wants to listen to a song about how you lost your virginity but your other songs are good."

"You should let them out to the world," you say with eyes that sparkle and make his heart leap.

He turns away to not let your charm win him over, "You know how I feel about being a singer, by myself on a stage... it's awkward," he explains.

You turn his head back to look at you, "Okay then let's make a band!" You simply solve.

"Unless you want to join then I don't have anyone who wants to be in a band with me," he says with a defeated sigh.

You turn his head back to face you again, "how about a one-man band?"

"That's even lame. I never heard a successful one-man band," he says with a chagrin.

You put on a shocked face and start to list all the one-man bands you know, "Paul McCartney, Prince, Phil Collins, Bon Iver, Tame Impala, LCD Soundsystem, M83, Sufjan Stevens... and Dave Grohl basically started The Foo Fighters by himself," you finish with a proud smile.

"Dave Grohl and I are different entities, he is in Nirvana and I'm just... me, loser," he gives another explanation that makes him not pursue music.

"Being dramatic again," you sigh and rub your temple again.

He slides his hands down your arms and squeezes your elbows, he understands that you're trying to be supportive of his passion but he's not sure of his talent.

He sees your disappointed face and lifts your chin, "I'm not that good," he says.

You don't even try to deny him, probably have enough of doing it for him.

"And I'm still mad about you reading my journal," he says with a pout.

You put your hands around his neck and draw him close, "How about I give you head to make up for it?"

That gets him hot and bothered in a second, he plays it cool as if your words didn't affect him at all.

"Well, if you insist," he says.

You chuckle and kiss him, continuing the make-out session that is put to a halt by an argument. Your hand swiftly works open his jeans and slips inside, palming his hardening member with your hand.

"I'll make you forget that you were mad at me," you whisper before kissing him down his chest and pulling his jeans down to let his cock out of its confine.

Han has already forgotten that he was mad at you the second you take all of his length into your mouth, you're lying between his legs and taking your time to please him with your mouth.

Not just that, he's slowly losing his mind as you keep sucking him and combining it with your hand pumping the rest that you can't take with your mouth.

"Are you close, baby?" You ask before putting his swollen cock in your mouth again.

"Uh-huh," he breathlessly answers.

You pull it out and gasp for air, pumping his cock slick with your spit as you ask, "Where do you want to cum?"

His brain is foggy to pick one out of so many options but you notice that he's eyeing your chest and understand it right away.

You let go of his cock to take your tank top off and let your breasts hang down your chest as you lean down over his crotch to continue sucking his cock. Your nipples are grazing his thighs and his legs twitch at how it arouses him in a newfound way, "close, baby?"

He repeatedly nods and watches you keep the stimulation going by pumping his cock at a quick pace, bringing your chest close as you're doing it.

You put all of your hair to the back, not risking any of his bodily fluid lands on it. You moan and sigh, looking into his eyes as you say, "I can feel you twitching in my hand."

With a few more pumps, the white arch of his seed erupted from the tip of his cock, painting streaks on your chest and breasts.

"You cum a lot, baby," you say with an impressed, sultry smile for him to think that it's a complaint.

You keep your hand going up and down his shaft, milking every drop of the pearly white essence. You use the tip of his cock to smear it all over and around your nipples.

Once you're done playing with his cock that gradually softens in your hand, you crawl over to kiss him.

"Are you still mad?" You ask with a sweet, sinful smile.

He puts on a dumb smile and says, "Me? Mad? I must be crazy to be mad at you."

-

Han is in the middle of his class when he receives a new text message, he should be thankful to whoever texted him because he almost falls asleep until his phone buzzes on his desk and startles him awake. He checks the text by putting his phone under the desk and smiles seeing your contact name as the sender.

"Meet me at the library steps after class," you wrote in your text.

The library steps are located on the steps of the building across the library but they call it the library steps because most students like to read or study while sitting on the steps. Not sure if you know that his class has ended, he looks around and can't find you, so he takes a seat on the steps with his backpack next to his feet.

The weather is cool and pleasant, he has an hour before his next class starts so he has time to wait and enjoy the weather. After a few minutes, he spots you making your way toward him and he gets up to welcome you, you're walking so fast and not slowing down even though he's only a few meters away.

Crash is imminent but that seems to be what your intention is, you loop your arms around his neck and pull him for a kiss. This marks the first time you kiss him on campus and it's nerve-wracking, he can't stop thinking how many people are watching him now.

He looks around the second he lets go of the kiss and finds that no one truly cares. Well, it's not like kissing on the campus ground is illegal so why should he worry?

"Oh, I have fifteen minutes before my next class so I'm just going to text you what I need to tell you," you explain everything in one breath.

"Why can't you tell me now?" He asks, perplexed.

"Because you're most likely to forget it so I'll just text you," you answer and fix the collar of his shirt.

"Then why did you ask to meet me here?" He asks again even with more curiosity.

"That's because I want to see you and kiss you," you simply answer and give him a quick peck on the lips with a giggle.

Han laughs, the kind of laugh that makes him shine from within, a part of him that he has never seen until you brought it out of him.

"Why? I can't do that?" You ask with a chuckle.

He puts his arms around you and pulls you close, "We can definitely do that."

Han takes his turn to kiss you, giving you a long, lingering kiss and trying to keep it appropriate. He endearingly brushes your hair after and tucks it behind your ear. The sun hits you right in the eyes as you look up at him with a smile that is as warm as your smile.

"I have to go now," you mutter.

"Okay," he says and presses a long peck on your lips before letting you go.

It's been months since he dated you and he can still hear Bill Withers singing inside his head.

"Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day..."

-

The address you sent is of the house of someone he doesn't know but he recognized some faces as he walked inside so he assumed it belonged to a fellow university. You said you'll be waiting by the kitchen but it's a big house and it's hard to navigate through the sea of people without bumping into one.

After getting lost in a maze of big and expensive furniture, he finds you in the kitchen like you said, nursing a bottle of beer while leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Hey, you're here!" You exclaim as you see him coming to you.

You're going right into his arms to hug him, "Miss you," you mumble.

"You're drunk already?" He jokingly asks.

You scoff and look at him, "Not even close," you answer.

It's impossible to resist kissing you when you're this close and you're smiling at him, your hands are around him like his personal comfort blanket. Han leans in and gives you a short yet sweet kiss on the lips.

You giggle when he pulls away and hands him your beer, "I have someone I want you to meet," you say.

Han doesn't realize that someone is standing at the end of the counter until you gesture him to come. A small guy wearing a beanie and glasses perched on his nose, he dressed so casually for a party in a white t-shirt and jeans.

"This is Felix," you introduce him.

Felix smiles and offers his hand for a handshake, "I'm Felix," he says.

He gets taken aback by his deep voice, not expecting that it's coming out of this elf-like person, "I'm Han," he introduces back.

"I know Felix from my communication class, we're doing an assignment together and I found out recently that," you turn to look at Han before continuing talking, "Felix plays drums."

Now he gets your intention of inviting him to this party, you know he hates coming to things like this but he understands now.

"I told him about your songs and your dream of forming a rock band," you explain,  avoiding his eyes are you speak since you're doing all of it behind his back.

"Yeah, I'm interested," Felix says between his sips of canned Red Bull.

Han doesn't know how to explain to Felix that it's never his dream to form a rock band, it's mostly you and your steadfast conviction that that dream will come true.

"I don't—"

You cut him off by grabbing his and Felix's hand, "Now, come follow me," you say.

Han and Felix are trailing behind you as you lead the way to the basement of the house that he believes is off-limit to guests.

You open the door to what he guesses is a door to a supply closet, it's indeed that from stacks of sheets and towels on the shelf but on the back, there's another door. From the way you know that it's a sliding door, he believes you've been here but that's a question he'll ask later in private.

"Welcome to rich people's man cave," you announce.

It's a recreation room filled with fun and expensive stuff, it's a literal man cave because Han can imagine him spending most of his time here if he were the owner.

"Are we even allowed here?" Felix asks, being the only one with a conscience.

"I know the owner of the house and I've been here before," you reply but not really answering his question.

Han glares at you for now but something else behind you steals his attention away, a custom Fender Stratocaster. He goes to admire it with his hands.

"Felix, you may want to check this," you say, throwing away the white sheets covering the drums.

He gasps at the sight of it and not waste time sitting behind the drums, touching the surface of it with amazement in his eyes, "Why would they keep this sweet thing hidden in here?"

You stand in the middle of a room and watch them admiring musical instruments like they're historic artifacts. Having enough of being ignored, you say, "You guys can start jamming together, perhaps?"

Han turns to look at you and with his eyes widening, he asks, "You want me to play with this?"

"Yeah."

"Are we even allowed?" Felix asks again.

"No one can hear us playing," you reply and again, not really answering his question.

"How do you know people are not going to hear us jamming in here?" Han asks.

"Uh... I just know," you answer with a grin and a shrug.

"It's soundproofed," Felix adds as he touches the lined walls behind him.

"And it's soundproofed," you repeated his words.

Han doubts that your intention to help him form a band will go according to plan but he can't resist playing the guitar and there's no harm in playing one song.

"What do you usually play?" Han asks Felix.

"Metal, death metal, post-death metal, rock, classic rock..." he lists the genre instead of telling him the band names.

Han thinks of one famous rock song widely known by people but at the same time, he wants to test how knowledgeable Felix is within the rock genre.

"Let's play Black Hole Sun," Han says to him.

Felix thinks for a while, "Soundgarden? Yeah, okay," he agrees.

Now that the guitar is slung across his shoulder and right in front of him, he feels nervous to play it. He plugged the cable that connects it to the amplifier, he's tuning it while Felix is warming up and tightening the screws on the drums.

"Woohoo!" You cheer even though they barely started yet.

Han searches for the chords first on the internet to refresh his memory and warm up his hands, "Ready?"

Felix gives him a thumbs-up in response.

Han starts playing the riff then Felix comes in right after. It's a whole new experience for him to play a song with someone or just like what you called it, jamming.

"Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain?"

with no mic, Han sings as loud as he can but it's impressive how Felix stays on the beat.

"Black hole sun won't you come, won't you come..."

He's too focused on watching Felix nailing the part that leads to the end of the song that he missed a chord, but quickly recovering from it.

"Woohoo!" You cheer again and Han almost forgot that you're in the room with them.

It was thrilling and exciting, he can feel his heart pounding with the guitar still hanging around his chest.

"That was fun!" Felix says with a grin.

Han is at a loss for words, not expecting that he'll love it this much. Maybe he's meant to form a rock band like you said. He holds his hand up at him for a high-five, "Good job, man!"

Felix excitedly high-fives him with a big grin on his face, he looks much more attractive without his glasses and Han can see freckles dotted his cheeks.

You wait until he puts the guitar down to jump at him and fortunately, he's strong enough to catch you, you press a haste kiss on his lips with an exaggerated smooching sound.

"See? I told you!" You tell him before pressing another kiss with your hands around his neck.

Maybe it's the adrenaline still lingering, he kisses you so passionately and ignores that there's another person in the room.

Another person comes into the room and surprises everyone that Han immediately puts you down, "Who are you guys?"

Han glances at you and you glance at him, there's a moment passed in awkward silence, then you make up an excuse on the spot.

"We accidentally stumbled here to get some privacy, you know," you purposely slurring your words and holding on to him to imply that you're drunk.

Han plays a long and puts his hand around your waist, drooping his eyes and putting a stupid smile on his face. He seems to buy it from the way he shifts his eyes to Felix.

"And what is he doing here?" The owner of the mancave asks.

"He..." you drag the word as you think of something, "likes to watch?"

The three of you are still laughing after getting out of the house and stopping to lean against a stranger's car, composing yourselves back from what just happened.

"You said you know the owner of the house," Han says.

"I know but we're not acquainted," you defend yourself with a sly smile.

You turn to Felix and pat his shoulder, "I'm sorry for making you a perv, Lix!"

"That's alright!" He responds with a coy shrug. He's digging into his pocket jeans to pull out his car keys.

"Where do you park your car? Mine is down the block," Felix asks.

You glance at Han before looking back at Felix, "We take public transport. We're a very eco-friendly couple," you say with a sneer.

"Ah..." Felix lowly gasps, "I remember you said your boyfriend is too nervous to drive a car."

Han wonders how much work you put into the group assignment because it seems like you shared things about him a lot rather than doing that.

"Let me give you guys a drive home," Felix kindly offers with a smile.

There's nothing phony about Felix. Han has met a lot of people in his life to know when someone is only putting up a good front but not with Felix, he can tell right away that he's a genuinely kind person.

As a way to get back to you, Han runs to the passenger's side before you and shouts, "Shotgun!"

That leaves you no option but to reluctantly get into the backseat of the car.

After turning the car engine on, Felix leaves it for a while to warm up while he connects his phone to the car stereo, "You don't mind that I put on some music, right?"

Felix is so well-mannered but Han doesn't find it obnoxious, he finds it adorable instead, "It's your car, do what you want."

Once he settles on a song, he backs the car out of someone's driveway and starts driving with one hand on the steering wheel. The song starts with a one-chord guitar strum and followed by a steady bang of drums.

"I AM IRON MAN!" You and Felix shout at the same time.

You lean forward between the seats and put your hand on his shoulder, "it's Lix's favorite band, Black Sabbath."

"Yes, I know," Han says with a snide smile.

"Why aren't you singing along?" You ask, cupping his chin with your hand.

Felix is focused on looking at the road ahead to pay attention to him and how you treat him like a baby, not that he doesn't like it but he prefers not to do it in public.

"Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?" You and Felix sing at the same time.

Han is just too embarrassed to join in but he knows you won't stop teasing him until he sings. Besides that, he can see why Felix likes this band, it's the intense and fast-paced drumming. He's doing it now by tapping his steering wheel with both hands.

Han decides to join when the song gets to the second chorus, "Nobody wants him. They just turn their heads."

"Yeah!" You exclaim in satisfaction and raise your voice louder.

"Nobody helps him. Now he has his revenge," the three of you filling the space in the car with your singing.

The song reaches the climax of heavy riffs and an impeccable guitar solo that makes him feel alive as the car glides through the night.

-

Today will be the first time for Han and Felix to do a band practice together.

Felix regularly practices his drumming and he can use the studio, one of the facilities provided by the university but its use is limited in time, they can practice on Thursday and Saturday for two hours.

"We'd better get started," Han says even though he hasn't tuned his guitar yet.

Han and Felix are in the middle of playing a warm-up song when you come into the studio, carrying drinks for them in one hand. You sit in the corner and watch them until the end of the song before handing out the drinks.

"Iced Americano for the boyfriend," you say as you hand him his drink with a kiss on the cheek.

You walk up to Felix to hand his, "Super sweet latte for the drummer."

"Thank you," Felix mutters and takes a big sip of it.

"Okay, I'm going back to sit in the corner and watch you guys jamming," you say with a smile, sitting on the stool and sipping your drink through a straw.

After taking a break, Han turns to Felix to ask whether he has studied the song he wrote to start practicing it.

"Yeah, I have but I saw that it's not finished yet?" Felix asks while tightening the screws on the drums.

"Yes, I plan on working the rest of the song together with you," Han answers.

Sure, Han is capable of working on the rest of his song himself but he wants to be in a band so every decision he's making now will not be his own.

Felix is patient yet eager to learn, he has musicality that Han believes is above him but he's unaware of it. He's humble and easy to work with, he couldn't find a better partner than him.

Two hours passed without him realizing it and he almost forgot that you were there in the room until you come his way, "Can we grab dinner after this?"

Felix packs his drumming sticks into his backpack, "I second that!"

Since the practice turns out to be a great one, it's only right for him to let the good times roll.

"I'll treat dinner!" He announces and you share a celebration high-five with Felix.

-

The practice is going well but Han feels something is missing. He's reclining on the seat after finishing his meal earlier than everyone else.

"I think we need one more member," Han suddenly shares.

You stop shoving another French fry and ask, "Why? I think you guys sound great!"

Han shrugs, he can't explain it because it's just instinct, "Two-man band is not it. You know what happened to The White Stripes," he explains with an example.

Felix wipes his mouth with a napkin and gulps his cola, "but that's because they have a half-decent drummer."

Hearing Felix's comment, you put down the French fry you're about to eat and push the plate away, "Don't you dare to drag my girl, Meg White, into this!" you say with squinted eyes at Felix.

"That's just fact," Felix innocently says.

"Three things," you say and rest your back, crossing your arms in front of you before laying out the three things on why Felix is wrong.

That's one of the things Han likes about you, you're not scared to speak your mind. He knows very well that you have strong opinions about certain things, he just doesn't like it when he's on the opposite side of things.

Felix is the unlucky one to be in that position right now but Han is more than happy to watch it from the sideline.

"First, their marriage got in the way," you begin with an obvious fact there is.

"Second, Meg took the "less is more" approach and you can get more power when you have more space and give songs character," you eloquently state.

"And third, Meg's parts are full of choices most drummers wouldn't make and that what makes her a one-of-a-kind player."

When Han thinks you're done explaining, you continue while leaning forward on the table, "'Seven Nation Army' is a perfect example of how simple doesn't mean boring. How many drummers would be satisfied playing the same beat for an entire song?" You aim the question at Felix who's looking petrified sitting across the table and too afraid to speak.

"Exactly!" You say even though he doesn't say anything but you take his silence as an answer.

"It's worth sacrificing our egos for the good of music," you finally conclude.

Han can't decide if he should stop it and risk getting trampled in the process or let it be which is a safer option.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Felix stammers.

"Tell that to Meg White!" You tell him.

"Uh... I'm sorry, Meg White," Felix apologizes again.

"Good," you shortly respond and lean back to continue eating your fries, turning back into your normal self.

After making sure you're relaxed and tame, Han decides to continue the talk about looking for another member.

"Anyway..." Han lets out a sigh and uneasily glances at you to continue speaking, "I think we need a bassist."

Felix drags his cup of soda and meekly sips it through a straw, "I don't know any bassist," he says.

"I can play bass but then I can't play two instruments at once, right?" He says with a smirk.

You lean to his side and coo, "Oh, must be tiring to be so good at everything!"

He playfully kisses your lips since you're leaning so close to him and it tastes salty. You giggle as you sit back to continue eating.

Something must have popped into his head as Felix shouts, "Ah, I have a friend who plays guitar really well."

That gets his hopes up that Han feels so optimistic about it again, "Yeah?"

"But she lives abroad now so..." Felix sounded so heartbroken when he said it.

"That's very helpful, Felix," you say while stealing some fries from his plate.

Han draws a sigh but it's too early to give up now, he has just started the band and who knows he'll find a new member soon.

"We just have to keep looking then," Han says.

"Yeah, I agree," Felix responds.

"I'll help," you eagerly offer with a sweet smile at him.

He endearingly pats your head and smiles back at you, "Of course, you are," he can't help but give you a quick peck on the lips.

You're not complaining when Han is riding shotgun again, probably not letting go of the argument you had with Felix earlier. Thankfully, Felix knows how to win you over.

"As an apology to Meg White," he says and presses play on his phone.

The iconic riffs of Seven Nation Army blast through the car stereo followed by the signature thumping of Meg White's drumming.

You break into a smile and shout, "Yeah, Meg White rules!!!"

-

Once he gets the privacy in his studio apartment, Han wraps you into a tight hug and kisses you so hard that you squeal, almost running out of breath.

"You're so hot when you argue," he says with a sly smile.

You chuckle and hold him back, putting your hands around his small waist, "Oh, you want to argue with me?"

He shakes his head and says, "No, I don't want to be on the wrong side of things."

What he said implies that you're always right about things and he knows that will win your heart with it.

"Good choice!" You say.

As expected, you reward him with a long, lingering kiss that escalates things further.

Being inside you strips him away from his sanity. He's thrusting into you hard and he doesn't know how you stay so calm and composed under him.

Your eyes are wide and awake, so still that he can see his reflection in them. You're smiling as you affectionately brush his hair to the back and caress his face.

"You're fucking me so good," you tell him with an open-mouthed kiss and you know that he needed to hear that.

It feels inexplicably intimate and raw, he feels naked than he already is with the way you're staring deeply into his eyes.

"Stop looking at my sex face," he turns to look the other way.

You chuckle and turn his head to face you again, making him look you in the eyes while fucking you.

He can't lie that he's close to his high, can no longer contain his groans so he lets them spill out of his parted mouth.

"Oh, fuck..." he curses between his grunts as he launches his cock deep inside you.

You break into laughter underneath him while he's still reeling from his high and his cock still planted deep inside you.

"What's so funny, mmh?" He asks with a kiss on your jaw.

You shake your head with your hands still hanging around his neck, "Nothing."

"You're making fun of my sex face, huh?" He says with eyes closed.

You don't answer but keep laughing even after he collapses onto the bed next to you, "Stop laughing!"

That doesn't stop you from laughing, he crawls over and puts his body on top of you, pressing a kiss to stop you from laughing.

It's a fruitless effort that you're still chuckling when he lets go of the kiss, "I hate you."

He presses a hard kiss on your mouth again and with a conflicted feeling he says, "But the sex was so good I can't hate you."

When he returns from the bathroom, he sees you already dressed in his t-shirt and lying on your side of the bed with your eyes closed.

He dives right into your arms with his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, he puts your hands around him just how he likes it.

From the way your hand slips into his hair and softly scratches at it, he knows that you're still awake.

"So, how did it feel playing your song for the first time?" You ask.

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours but it's mostly good, practicing his song and getting to hear how it turns out is a feeling he can't describe.

What's important is this feels right to him, it feels like it's meant to be.

"It feels... amazing," he says with a dreamy sigh.

You hum in answer and place a soft kiss on the top of his head, "I just know that you're going to be great."

Your faith in him is unwavering and he starts to believe that forming a rock band of his dreams is possible and that he can create great things with this band.

"You know, Nirvana has this secret track called Sappy," you suddenly share with your voice low and sleepy.

"It's a great song and I wish that a lot of people know about this song," you say.

You pause to take a breath and quietly exhale it, "but at the same time, I want to gatekeep it."

You lift your head and search for his eyes to say, "That's you."

Han lifts his head to hover above you, putting inches between your faces, "You're saying I'm Sappy?" He jokingly says.

You sleepily smile and lick your lips before talking, "I want the world to know how great you are with your songwriting, your music, your wit, your unfunny jokes..."

He glares at you, feeling offended that you think his jokes are not funny.

"But at the same time, I want to keep it for you myself," you say with eyes that shine and show how honest you are with what you said.

It's a heartwarming analogy and he understands the sentiment in it. He hasn't shown all of his yet but you talk about his greatness like they're written in stones. Han appreciates you more for saying that and seeing through all of his shortcomings and weaknesses and unfunny jokes.

The sound of you calling his name, your laugh, your smile, your low snores, and everything that comes out of your mouth. Those are his favorite songs.

He places a soft kiss on your lips and murmurs, "You are my favorite song."

As much as he wants you to share your greatness with the world, Han wants to keep you for himself.

-

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[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

(DATV thoughts with spoilers ahead; i think my tags will keep it filtered but just in case it doesn't since i dont want this in the actual game tags)

i just... man. i don't have a well formulated thought for this yet (and its my PERSONAL OPINION and other people can feel as different as they want, this is not an attack) but it keeps bouncing around my head, so. i know the popular thing right now is coming up with in-universe justifications for The Pantry Almost-Kiss Scene in ways that imply Lucanis didn't mean it/it doesn't represent him as a person/he was Faking It.

and i just don't like any of them. they make me sad!!!!!! i don't like the idea that one of the like 4 romance scenes we get in this game is him Pretending in some way, even if he does at that point like Rook back at least somewhat. None of the justifications i've seen make me feel Better about that being the point where we declare him as a romantic interest, which is what it is in the game, functionally. It doesn't lock you in yet but that point IS where the game says "they will take your flirting more seriously now". I did those same scenes for Davrin, Emmrich, and Taash and this is the formula the game uses (the "interrupted almost-kiss/confession" happens for almost all of the companions).

so if the answer for Lucanis' is "actually he stopped because he Didn't like what he was doing/feel that way yet" or that he felt he had to pretend for Rook's sake... it's kind of a letdown you know? esspecially when it comes right after what seems like an actually authentic moment (dispelling his "perfectly gathered clouds of doom"). Because, at that point in the game from my/Rook's perspective, it was like he finally was reciprocating. It made me hope that he'd acknowledge whatever was between him & Rook more in future scenes, especially because you get so little else from him at any other point, in terms of flirting back/showing you he IS interested. like up to that point I felt kind of bad for continuing to flirt at him, when he'd just change the subject right after! if someone did that in real life i would take it as a hint to stop. This is pixels and not real people so I didn't but they have done "reluctant/fearful interest" better in other characters if that's truly what they were going for in this one.

so after finishing the romance and getting the rest of content... idk. I don't like saying "one of the major chunks of characterization we get needs to be Thrown Out Actually because he was Pretending". because it's not like he or Rook ever actually address it in game--you just don't get to talk about feelings until some dialogue choices only in the act 3 romance scene, and then his speech at endgame (not even a full conversation, so much as his personal declaration). like it takes until the VERY end of the game for him to say the thing about "he was afraid to want you", but that comes after you've already hooked up, even.

I think truly what annoys me is that it's a story choice that can only make sense in HINDSIGHT not AS PLAYING. Only once you have all the scenes can you say "this one is out of character" and then you either have to accept it as bad writing, or come up with some in-universe justification to explain it... and so far none of the in universe ones feel good to me. i wish they did because maybe then I'd be less annoyed, rip. but at the end of the day i think even if there was some intent there, it was a poor choice for his story arc, because it doesn't effectively convey anything... and the reason why we can project a lot of different explanations onto it is simply because it is never addressed again (and again, Lucanis Dellamorte is NOT A PERSON he is a CHARACTER used to further a story for you the player, and so the reasons I don't like this choice are story-level and not a dig at how real life people feel or act).

So yeah at the end of the day. that is simply not a narrative device I would ever personally use in this way on a player/reader. certain kinds of hindsight revelations have their place (see: what the devs tried to do with Varric though I also think that falls apart on close inspection, but at least it has justification in-universe), but for a romance it just makes me embarrassed for Rook. In a game where you don't have nearly as many back-and-forth conversations with characters and have to resort to eavesdropping on them talking to each other, it's sad that one of the like 5 times you actually get to talk to Lucanis one on one we're maybe supposed to believe he wasn't being authentic, and also that Rook can't respond to this ever. It would be different if it had any kind of follow up, imo. or honestly as i've said before i would rather it have been swapped out with something entirely different or where we get to talk about their feelings instead, before i get labeled as one of the "people mad he's not Zevran 2.0/a sexy latin sterotype".

But having to step back to player-level analysis versus in-character analysis when looking at his whole romance arc just feels sloppy. but i'd much rather stick to "bad writing" than "intentional character choice" in terms of how to interpret the scene I guess, at this point, for poor Rook's sake. and i know people disagree with when I've said that before bc as much as I love Mary Kirby in other areas, she has said many times that she doesn't like writing romance, and I think it really does show here. As much as I love Lucanis and the scraps we got I wish I didn't have to do so much filling-in-the-blanks on our own.

[minnaci]

contents: established dan heng x gn!reader. reader is a member of the astral express crew, but is not the hsr mc. hurt/comfort, post-1.2 spoilers

a/n: a little bit of a longer one today! thanks to @itoshisoup, @/petrichorium, n @/kitsunefreak for answering my questions abt dh's reincarnation (ask here)! if u see this i hope u know it took everything in me not to call him daniel heng

you and dan heng have never needed words. why say "i love you" when you could just cut him a plate of fruit? why say "i need you" when you could press little, fluttering kisses to his spine, and watch the shiver of goosebumps spread over his skin?

your language has always been one of quiet actions, quiet loves, which is perhaps why he looks so surprised when you take one look and him and say, quite loudly, "what the fuck?"

because the dan heng standing before you isn't the dan heng you could recognize by touch alone. he's.... taller, somehow. broader. he carries himself with an ease that he hadn't before. and most importantly—

"are those horns?"

"yes," he says, with no further explanation.

"dan heng used to be a cool dragon warrior guy in his past life!" march 7th interjects, seemingly oblivious to your increasing upset. "he was super powerful and super important, too!"

you'd known about the whole... reincarnation thing. he'd explained it to you before, but from your understanding, his past lives weren't important. he'd told you that this life with you was the only one that mattered to him. so why hadn't he told you...?

"that's quite enough, march 7th," himeko takes one glance at your expression and cuts in as march 7th begins rambling about dan heng's... boyfriends? husbands? from his past lives and how handsome and cool and strong they all were, and how their story was so romantic—

dan heng says nothing.

"well," you say abruptly, forcing a smile, "i'm suddenly feeling a bit tired. i'm going to turn in. dan heng, you can sleep outside tonight."

you stand up and swiftly make your way to the passenger car. behind you, you hear march 7th ask, "did i say something wrong?"

you let it all fade into silence as you step into the archive room— you and dan heng's room. at least, it would be silence, if it wasn't for the faint footsteps behind you.

"you're upset with me." dan heng crosses the room to you in a few long strides. gently, carefully, he pulls you into his arms. you let him. despite all of the visual changes, he still smells the same. it's more comforting than you thought it would be. you take a few deep breaths, letting his familiar scent calm you down.

"i'm not angry," you say, voice a bit muffled as you bury your face in his chest.

"you're not," he agrees. "but you are upset."

silence falls upon you. you curl further into dan heng's embrace, and he welcomes you easily, drawing wide circles over your back. he's generous with his touch, his affection. it helps you begin to sort through the mess of feelings in your heart.

"you always told me that your past lives weren't important," you say. the words spill from you, a waterfall of hurt and insecurity. "but then you come back from the luofu looking like some— some celestial war dragon, and then i hear about your banishment for high treason and your two beautiful lovers who recognized you across lifetimes, and how it's so romantic because they're probably your soulmates—"

"i know you don't like when i interrupt," dan heng interrupts. "but i... i want to explain before you get more upset, as there are nuances to this situation that i do not think march 7th handled with enough care. you know how she can be when she's excited."

you nod. you do know. you take another deep breath— in through your nose, out slowly through your mouth. "okay, then. explain. please."

"i do not consider myself the same person as the version of me who lived in the past," dan heng says. "i am dan heng. the person that march 7th spoke of was called dan feng. his deeds and his lovers are not mine. i claim no ownership of nor association with them. thus, they are not important to me. dan feng is not important to me. does that make sense?"

"not really," you say. "you're literally him."

"i am not him," dan heng says. "we may share a soul, but i am not him. i do not remember his life, nor do i want to. i have everything i could ever want here and now, as dan heng."

"really?"

"yes," he says. there's a warm brush of lips against the crown of your head. "the astral express crew makes me happy. you make me happy. we may have our troubles, but there's nobody i would rather face them with than you."

warmth flushes through your body, and you hide your face again. it's rare that dan heng voices his emotions so clearly. his candor strips you raw, scraping at the inside of your chest. he's the one being vulnerable, so why are you the one feeling so seen?

"i mean it," dan heng says, taking your silence as disbelief. "i love you. nothing about my past reincarnation's life will change that."

"you're so ridiculous," you sniffle, willing your tears away. "i love you, too."

silence settles around your shoulders once more, comforting like a feather-filled duvet. dan heng rocks you gently— back and forth, back and forth. new clothes and new horns aside, he still smells the same. he speaks the same way. and when you press your ear to his chest, his heart beats the same, steady beat.

"were your— dan feng's— past lovers really that hot?" you break the silence, and dan heng lets out a rare laugh.

"of course you're curious about that," he says, with no small amount of fondness. "here— i'll let you form your own opinions."

he taps on his communicator a few times, pulling up a picture.

"no way," you do a double take, hands flying to your mouth, and you pull back to look at him, wide-eyed. "dan heng. no way."

"yes way," he says, and you can hear the little smug smirk in his voice. he loves you, you know he does, but you can't blame him for the bit of pride that shines through his tone. if you'd managed to pull not one, but two men that magnificent in your past life, your head would get so big that you'd explode.

"and you don't care about them at all?" you have to ask. dan feng was one lucky guy. it's hard not to feel insecure, just a little—

"why would i? they're strangers to me," dan heng blazes through your train of thought, tilting your chin to look you in the eyes. he sobers. something in his voice reaches into the soft, small animal of your heart, holding it steady as it flutters. "besides, i already have the most beautiful person in the universe in my arms."

extra:

"so does this mean i can sleep in the room again?"

"mrgh," you mumble. if your eyelids were any less heavy, you'd open your eyes to shoot him an incredulous look. your limbs are intwined with his like an octopus, and it's bedtime. surely, he's capable of extrapolating. as it is, you mouth sleepily at his collarbone, and hope he understands it as permission.

"okay. just checking. goodnight, dear."