#i hope that you all appreciate the layers of jokes in this doodle

[cinderoo]

miners have rights

[elliestation]

ALYXCAT'S PAWSOME PLAYLIST - MY FAVORITE PARTS OF MY OWN ALBUM

I WANNA…i love the stereo space in this track. it just feels so wide to me and im being hugged by my guitars. im just so proud of myself to making this so quickly as proof of concept that i could make something really good if i just chose to have fun.

ANYTHING….the first and last verse of the song was written by my girlfriend. she wrote a song for our first anniversary that turned me into a SOPPING WET CRYING MESS and i had to reference it in some way. i ended up making this song for this years anniversary with a bunch of cute art i doodled with the lyrics on it…she cried and i was so glad.

TRACK THREE. this one encapsulates what writing this album felt like to me. everything was in perfect alignment. i feel like i really cracked the code. like i finally crossed (krossed haha) a hurdle that i'd been stuck on for many years of my life. its so corny and full of things i love about the songs i love, but thats the point. this is the song that taught me to embrace the rough and scrappy drafts and ideas and throw my feelings of inadequacy to the side. Polyana's verse really cemented this for me too because she just freestyles at the end and it just felt right to keep it in. TLDR: this song taught me to trust my gut. i love it so much.

HEADSPACE. i wrote this song after having a "regular" conversation with someone in my family and i was realizing i was dissociating as a defense mechanism whenever a specific sort of interaction would occur. i've always wanted to write a song that gets really intense and is really grand, rough, and intense, and this song really did it for me. its the first time i really appreciate my singing and screaming voice in its natural range, so im glad it was the first one on the album to feature it.

RECHARGED. i wrote this on a bad day but originally as a joke to make myself feel better. the starting sample is actually a stupid deku meme put through many layers of botanica ass sound design to hide it. i got a bunch of funny reactions from my friends after showing them. i actually did feel pretty refreshed after making this. enough to keep moving forward for the day <3

HOLD ME (sunglare from the sun). aside from the weird title shit thats going on with this track, this song is about a conversation i had with myself. my weeks kept feeling like moments of drowning mixed with the most euphoric times of my life on repeat. as much as i wanted to give up on everything i held dear to me, some part of me couldn't let go and encouraged me to keep going. despite all my self-sabotage, a part of me still had some fight left. the way that this song progresses is something that i never thought i could ever accomplish, and im glad that fighting side of me won because i would have never made this song without it.

CANT LET YOU KNOW. the person that this song is about changed my life. i know that the chorus and all that sounds like they sucked, but really i can't help but hope they're doing okay. though i may be afraid to tell them to their face, i hope they find this song and know that im glad they were apart of my life. i just love how corny this song is and I LOVE POLYANA'S VOICE SO MUCH. okay anwya yeah I ALSO LOVE THIS FUCKINNN OUTRO ITS SOOOO PRETTY TO MEEA AAA

SENTIMENTAL ALIBI. kros… FUCKING. KROS. THIS GUY IS MY FUCKING GOAT. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THIS SONG WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE ALBUM!!! i made a little sketch one day and sent it to him just to hear his thoughts and HE CAME BACK WITH A WHOLE VERSE THAT MATCHED THE VIBES PERFECTLY WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT! and it ended up becoming the WHOLE SONG and one of the biggest projects i've ever worked on. for this entire album being the first times i've ever started working with people, im SO GLAD that my first experiences have results like this. these people have become such important pillars of my life and im so glad we were not only able to communicate that into a song together and work so well together doing it. my fav part of this song is the final climax…this is the first time i really sang my heart out on a chorus,,,,,and I LOVE HOW IT SOUNDS!!! THAT USUALLY NEVER HAPPENS!!!

TAKE A STEP. this song pushed me with the sound design a little and im really happy about it. when i hear this song i always feel a bit of me choosing to be a little hater and cringe at the conry ass message i have in this, but strangely i feel such comfort knowing i can look at those feelings, accept them, and move on despite them. i may think its stupid, corny, cringe, whatever. but i'll keep following those feelings because they have only led me to create this entire project. i will keep taking a step towards the realest parts of me no matter how fucking stupid i sound because its the only way to grow. im really glad this is the last song on the album for this reason.

the entire album means so much to me because this (and hopefully future projects too) will continue to serve as reminders of the lessons, memories, and joy i experienced when creating this project. dare i say, i would need a Sentimental Alibi to free myself from the nostalgia of this project.

i really hope these messages resonated with you <3 thank you so much for reading.

love you, stay safe.

[keewriting]

Cove x MC - One Shot #1

[Read on google docs to insert your MC's name]

The crescendo of rain hitting your window woke you from a peaceful slumber. It didn’t often rain this hard in Sunset Bird, especially not during the summer. You felt a pang of disappointment that your typical summer pastimes were not viable on a day like this.

You rolled groggily out of bed and sighed, wondering what Cove thought of the unfortunate weather situation. Knowing him, he’d be even more bummed than you — then it hit you! The list!

You scrambled over to your messy desk and opened the biggest drawer, which you affectionately called the “junk drawer.” This was the home to everything of value that didn’t have a specific place in your room. The actual value of the items in the junk drawer was pretty questionable. From old gaming devices and batteries, to loose papers that could maybe be useful someday.

With everything shoved out of the way, you uncovered the beacon of hope for this gloomy day. A small spiral notebook with a shiny turquoise cover, speckled in tiny yellow stars. You and Cove started using this notebook on rainy days for games of hangman and tic-tac-toe. There were years of games in this notebook, nearly every page filled with games and doodles.

You sighed wistfully as you turned the pages and reminisced about each game. Your first ever hangman game with Cove occurred on a particularly hot day. Yet, playing paper-based games became a rainy day tradition for you two. You went out and bought a special notebook just to keep them all in one place.

During your first hangman game with Cove, he settled on the phrase "you are cute." You couldn’t decide if that was the most Cove-like thing he’d done or if it was boldly uncharacteristic. You blushed at the memory and smiled gently.

Remembering your mission, you snapped out of the Cove-induced trance. You began flipping pages faster until you landed on one containing a list. On the last rainy day you and Cove suffered through, he had the idea to make a list of things you two could do to pass the time. It seemed he could only handle so many games of hangman and tic-tac-toe.

You each took turns writing something you would want to do on a rainy day. There were even corresponding doodles scattered on the page to illustrate each activity. The stark difference between your handwriting compared to Cove’s stood out to you today. His was relatively neat compared to your chicken scratch.

Rather than continuing to dwell on your poor penmanship, you looked closer at the items on the list. There were a total of 14 entries. You skimmed past each one with a focused scowl on your face until you landed on number 12: ear piercing. This was one of your suggestions, and one that didn’t come easily. You went back and forth in your head before writing this one. Considering how you would ask your moms for permission, what other people would think, and how Cove would feel about it. At the time of writing it down Cove seemed on board, for you at least. He was apprehensive about getting one himself, preferring to avoid the conversation with his dad.

A sly smile formed across your face. You decided that at 13 you were old enough to take control of your own body, regardless of what your moms would think. You emphatically shut the notebook and hopped up from the desk chair that you had slumped into earlier.

With a newfound energy you began quickly getting ready. You pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and rummaged through your closet, looking for your yellow raincoat and rainboots. As cliche as they were, you quite enjoyed the look. You could really use the brightness on such a cloudy day. You remembered to shove the small notebook in your back pocket.

You bounded down the stairs and out the door, calling out your goodbyes to whoever was still in the house. You paused under the awning to pull your hood over your head before walking carefully across to Cove’s house. The rain was still coming down hard and the street was slick with rain. With how clumsy you were you couldn’t afford to rush over and slip on a puddle.

Once you reached the Holden’s door you removed your hood and knocked confidently. Mr. Holden appeared momentarily to open the door, his face lit up when he saw you standing there.

Mr. Holden: Y/N! Hey, buddy. How are ya? Come on in!

You stepped inside with a smile and began wiping your feet vigorously on the door mat.

Y/N: Good morning, Mr. Holden. Is Cove around?

Mr. Holden: Sure is, he's surely tucked up in his room still. Why don’t you leave your boots and coat here and you can go wake him up.

You grinned at the thought as you pulled your coat off to give it to Mr. Holden. You slipped off your boots and thanked him as you tip-toed over to Cove’s bedroom door. You considered your options, truly unsure of what he could be up to behind closed doors. After some quick deliberation, you opted for loudly barging in while singing his name.

Without another moment of hesitation, you turned the knob and in a sing-songy voice, called out to him

Y/N: CoooOOoooove, rise and shine!

Cove’s sleepy figure stirred gently at the sound of your voice. He blinked open his eyes slowly and rubbed his hands through his seafoam green locks as you stood over him beaming. Finally, he uttered his first words of the day.

Cove: Y/N? What are you doing here so early?

You chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed, close enough to make Cove blush and start to sit up.

Y/N: Do you hear that? Outside?

Cove paused for a second before looking past you out his window. His expression dropped and he groaned.

Cove: Rain…

You scooted closer and crouched so your faces were level. You smiled deviously and noted how his eyes widened and his cheeks reddened.

Y/N: Cove, today we will fulfil our destiny.

Before he could utter a word, you shifted to retrieve the crumpled notebook from your back pocket. Cove slid up more, clearly intrigued. You turned to the right page and faced it towards Cove while pointing decidedly to number 10.

Cove: Ear piercing… oh yeah! You want to do that one today?

You nodded enthusiastically, hoping Cove would still be on board for this idea. You knew it was a one-sided activity, but you could use his support since it would be your first piercing.

Cove: The mall has a piercing booth, right? Or did you have somewhere else in mind?

Y/N: The mall is exactly what I had in mind!

Cove: Cool. So, how are we getting there?

For the first time since early morning, you felt defeated. Your shoulders slumped and you looked down at your hands. At 13, you might be old enough to get a needle through your ear, but you still couldn’t operate a vehicle. The mall was also too far to walk to, you remembered the time Kyra drove you all to the mall for a visit. Noticing how down you became, Cove spoke.

Cove: I could… ask my dad to drive us there. He isn’t working today. I’m sure he’d say yes.

You instantly perked up and turned to Cove with an open-mouthed smile.

Y/N: Really? Really. Really? Would you?

Cove chuckled and nodded. You wrapped around him with a tight hug the instant his head jerked upward. Your face planted on his chest. You exhaled loudly as you listened to his rushed heartbeat. After you pulled away, Cove got up and smiled nervously, flustered and ready to get the day going. You sat patiently on the bed while Cove got ready and asked his dad about driving you both to the mall.

Once he returned to his bedroom, he wordlessly flashed you a smile and thumbs-up combo. You followed him out to the front door where his dad was waiting with your coat. You accepted the coat and slipped on your boots. Cove had no rain protection, but you decided to stay quiet, knowing he preferred minimal layers.

You all headed out the door into Mr. Holden’s car. Cove sat in the backseat with you even though he typically preferred to ride shotgun. You felt special that he would rather keep you company. A startling question from Mr. Holden interrupted your pleasant thoughts.

Mr. Holden: I hear you plan on getting an ear piercing today, Y/N. Is that right?

Your mouth fell agape and you looked over to Cove, who upon noticing your expression became concerned. You realized you didn’t tell Cove about your plans to keep the ear piercing a secret from your moms. Now that Mr. Holden knew, it was almost certain he would casually bring it up to your moms. Not willing to reveal your sneaky plans, you spoke confidently.

Y/N: Yep! I’ve been wanting one for a while.

Mr. Holden: Hey, that’s great. I bet it’ll look really cool.

You looked over at Cove and smiled at him, hoping to relieve any confusion or concern. He returned the smile, but still appeared deep in thought. The rest of the car ride was uneventful. Mr. Holden dropped the two of you off and notified you of his return in 3 hours.

As soon as you were alone, standing at the entrance of the mall, Cove turned to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You looked up at him sheepishly and noticed his shrewd expression.

Cove: What was that about? That face? Should I not have told dad about the piercing?

Cove’s perceptiveness toward all your quirks was a blessing and a curse. The smallest look on your face could be a dead giveaway to him. You knew he would feel guilty for ruining your plan, but there was no point in trying to hide it from him.

Y/N: I didn’t get permission from my moms to get a piercing.

His eyes widened as his arms dropped to his sides.

Cove: Oh my God, I didn’t realize. I’m really sorry. Are you going to be in a lot of trouble? I don’t want you grounded all summer. We won’t be able to hang out as much. Maybe we should get smoothies and tell everyone it was a joke—

You cut off his rambling, not wanting him to tire himself out so early. Although you appreciated his concern, especially regarding your ability to spend time together.

Y/N: It’s okay, Cove. Really. I totally forgot to mention it when I told you this morning because I was so excited. They would have to find out somehow, right?

Cove: I guess. Can I make it up to you, though? I’ll buy you a smoothie anyway.

Y/N: Well, I could never say no to a smoothie from Cove Holden.

You smiled at each other and continued into the mall. You walked with purpose toward the piercing booth. Your stomach was turning with eagerness and nerves. Cove’s long strides matched perfectly with your short but quick paces. He looked at you with a comforting smile as you closed in on the booth.

The piercer at the booth was an older teen with an assortment of piercings on their own face and ears. They chewed gum loudly as they took down your information and set you up on the cold, hard piercing chair. While they put on gloves and prepared the tools, Cove inched closer to stand next to you.

Cove: How are you feeling?

Y/N: Nervous, excited... very rebellious.

Cove hummed in acknowledgment. You felt his hand brush the hair behind your ear. He gently pinched the now exposed top of your ear. You felt goosebumps travel across your skin at the touch.

Cove: This is where you want it, right? What was it called again… a helix?

You felt your face get hot, pleased that he remembered, and surprised that he was so casually touching you. You managed a quiet “mhm” before the piercer sauntered over to you.

Piercer: Alright, kid. Where do you want it?

Cove shifted out of the way as you pointed to where he had touched. You explained to the piercer that you wanted a simple helix on your right ear. As the piercer was marking your ear, you looked at Cove with pleading eyes.

Y/N: Cove, can I hold your hand?

A distinct blush spread across his cheeks but he didn’t hesitate to position himself next to you on your left side. He offered you his hand and tried to smile reassuringly. You took it gratefully and practiced different levels of squeeze pressure. You didn’t want to accidentally hurt Cove. His hand was hot and familiarly comforting.

Piercer: Ready?

You looked straight ahead and tensed up. You felt your heart pounding in your throat, annoyed that you were so nervous about something you definitely wanted to do. You felt Cove’s eyes on you, a reassurance that he would always be there for you.

Y/N: Go for it.

The piercer lined up the needle and stuck it through your ear in one quick motion. The pain was sharp and quick. You winced and instinctively tightened your grip on Cove’s hand. He squeezed back gently and you could hear a slight sympathetic groan escape his throat. A throbbing soreness replaced the initial sharp pain. You sighed as the piercer removed the needle and inserted a simple silver hoop.

Cove: Y/N? Are you okay? How did it feel?

You looked up at Cove and met his concerned gaze. Without letting go of his hand, you offered a small smile.

Y/N: It definitely hurts. But having this helped wonders.

You lifted his hand and gestured to it with your eyes. His smile reflected a mixed sense of pride, embarrassment, and relief.

Cove: I’m glad… Here, let me get a better look at it.

With your hands still intertwined, he helped you hop off the piercing chair. You faced him and turned your head to the side so he could see the piercing.

Y/N: How does it look?

Cove smiled widely with eyes bright.

Cove: I like it. You look amazing, Y/N.

Although Cove instantly seemed to regret his phrasing, you felt thrilled. Knowing that Cove was into it made facing your moms later seem a little less daunting. You hoped he could be there to help back up your decision.

Y/N: Thank you, Cove. And thanks for being my stress ball.

Cove: Anytime. How about that smoothie I promised?

You bounced excitedly with a loud “Woo!” You finished the transaction with the piercer and listened to their spiel about piercing care. Soon you were off to the smoothie stand with Cove.

Y/N: Do you know what combo you’re going to get? Same as last time?

Cove hummed thoughtfully. You wondered if he was also remembering the time you stole a sip from his smoothie. He never ended up finishing it after that. You felt a pang of guilt and decided you would let him keep the smoothie to himself.

Cove: I think I’d like to mix it up. There were so many great options to choose from.

Y/N: Right?! I would love it if I could just add all of the fruit and berries. Make a super smoothie concoction.

Cove scrunched his face in exaggerated disgust. You chuckled at his reaction and gently nudged his arm. He nudged right back with a warm smile planted on his face.

You each placed your order with the smoothie attendant. Cove paid for both. You felt appreciative of the gesture, knowing he wanted to make you feel better about your foiled plan. His consideration for your feelings made you feel warm inside, even though you didn’t blame him at all for the mishap.

Cove picked up both smoothies and handed you your order with a smile. As you continued your walk through the mall, you took a long, deep sip and then exhaled loudly.

Y/N: That really hit the spot! Thanks, Cove.

Cove simply nodded as he continued to sip at his smoothie. For a second you thought his lips wouldn't move from the straw for the rest of the trip, not willing to risk losing a drop to your sneaky mouth. But then, he broke free and smiled with a wince.

Cove: Brain freeze.

You burst out laughing, relieved that he would actually be available to talk to you.

Y/N: I know a trick for getting rid of a brain freeze! Here, look at me.

Cove faced you quizzically. You opened wide, turned your face upward, and pressed your tongue up to the roof of your mouth. His gaze dropped to your mouth while his own mouth fell open. An obvious blush spread across his face and he nodded. You wondered if seeing the underside of your tongue was a little too scandalous for Cove. You closed your mouth into a cheeky smile.

Y/N: Try it. I promise it works.

Cove turned away from you and tried your trick with his mouth firmly shut. He sighed in relief and immediately took another sip of his smoothie. That earned another laugh from you. He smiled at you sweetly with a mouthful of smoothie.

The walk continued pleasantly for a few minutes. You laughed, and teased, and joked with each other comfortably. You both reminisced about the last mall trip you had with Lee and Derek, even though it was only a few weeks ago. Suddenly, Cove’s pace slowed and he came to a halt. When you turned back to look at him, his expression lost in thought. He absentmindedly picked at the side of the cup with his nails. You noticed tiny indentations marked across the styrofoam cup.

Y/N: Cove? Is everything alright?

Cove breathed out and walked towards you gently. He extended his smoothie towards your face. His face red and his eyes glued to the smoothie, refusing to meet your gaze.

Cove: Would you like to try mine? I think it’s delicious. I think you would like it.

Stunned, and a bit apprehensive, you thought deeply. You didn’t want Cove to miss out on the rest of his smoothie again. But this time he was offering. You wondered what changed, and hoped this wasn’t more piercing-related guilt.

Y/N: If you’re sure, I would love to. But promise me you’ll finish the rest.

Cove’s eyes snapped to yours and it was his turn to feel stunned. You never revealed to him that you knew he never finished the smoothie last time. He looked embarrassed, but you had to be sure he wouldn't throw it out again.

Cove: I— yeah. I’ll finish it.

That was good enough for you. You wrapped your lips around his straw and took a big sip. The flavor was different to yours, but still satisfying. You kept your eyes on Cove while you pulled away from his smoothie. He slowly raised the smoothie to his own mouth and took a quick sip, all while looking desperately to the side.

Y/N: Success!

Cove let out a nervous laugh, glad to have made that much progress. He was still blushing while you continued your trek. You wondered if his face would ever return to its normal color as long as that smoothie was in his hand.

You finally made it back to the entrance with Cove. His dad would be returning to pick you up in a few minutes, as promised. You both threw your empty smoothie cups into the nearby trash can. You looked out the glass doors and noticed the rain finally stopped falling. There might be a chance to enjoy the outdoors with Cove before it was time to face your moms.

You decided to wait outside. He stood next to you and sighed.

Cove: I’m sorry again.

Y/N: It’s okay, I couldn’t have asked for a better rainy day partner. Thanks for doing this with me.

You inched closer and smiled up at him. He grinned back, convinced that everything would be okay. You waited in a comfortable silence, satisfied with your own rebellious actions.

[omgrachwrites]

The Book of Love - Chapter Two

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Ravenclaw!Reader

Summary: After a breakup leaves you heartbroken and miserable, things start to change for the better when you begin exchanging notes in a library book with a mystery boy.

Warnings: fluff, swearing

Words: 2402

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this part! Please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Two

It seemed like mere moments since you had fallen into your extremely comfortable bed with a full belly and a strong feeling of contentment but all too soon you were rudely thrust into the waking world. You had been having such a lovely dream of summer days and endless jugs of iced pumpkin juice. However, the real world was a good deal colder and a thin layer of frost settled on the windowpanes, the frost had come early this year. That wasn’t to say that you weren’t happy about being back at school because you were, you were ecstatic, you just wished that you could have an extra ten minutes in bed.

“Good morning sleepy head,” your best friend – apart from Sirius – Lyra grinned at you. As usual she was already half dressed; she was annoyingly such a morning person. You grumbled out a reply as you rubbed your eyes and you began pulling on your uniform, “so,” Lyra started, “will you be sitting at the Gryffindor table again? I’m pretty sure it’s blasphemy to sit at another house’s table during the sorting feast,” she grinned at you to show you she was joking.

You smiled as you rolled your eyes and tried to tame the tangled mess that was your hair, “I just thought it would be good to expand my social circle that’s all. Sirius’ friends have been really sweet towards me.”

Lyra smiled sincerely as she took your hands in her own, “I’m here for whatever you need. You know that right? If you need me to kill Lucius or kick Narcissa’s arse, you just let me know.”

You pulled your friend into a tight hug, whispering into her silver hair, “I know, thank you,” you pulled away from the hug and grinned, “you know, you’re welcome to join us. It wouldn’t hurt for you to also expand your social circle,” you booped her nose playfully and she wrinkled it in response.

“I will, on the condition that you put in a good word with Sirius for me.”

If you weren’t so close to Sirius then you would have set them up but it would be painfully awkward if you set your two best friends up and it didn’t work out. You simply laughed and linked your arm through hers, “Lyra, you are way too good for him.”

As you and Lyra walked into The Great Hall together you scanned the Gryffindor table in search of Sirius until you saw him waving at you to get your attention. You grinned and pulled Lyra over to the table and she made a simpering noise at your side. You turned to look at her, assuming that she was looking at Sirius; instead she was looking at Remus.

“Look at the way he’s looking at you, I think that Remus has a crush on you,” Lyra whispered, not bothering to hide the joy on her face, “oh Y/N, he’ll be so good for you, and he’s such a sweet guy.”

You sighed as you rolled your eyes and shook your head, “oh Merlin, not you as well,” you muttered as you shot Remus a sweet smile as you slipped in between Sirius and Peter. He probably would be good for you but you weren’t looking for anything like that, at least not yet.

“Good morning boys, sleep well?” you giggled as you stole a triangular slice of toast from Sirius’ plate and you took a bite, relishing at the amazing taste of the sticky honey as it made your lips feel sugary and numb.

James raised an eyebrow at you as he dragged a hand through his hair and he took a long gulp from his mug, “as well as you did by the looks of it,” you scowled at him as you rubbed your tired eyes.

“Y/N?” Remus started and you looked over at him, he had a light flush on his cheeks as he rubbed a hand through his hair, making it even more tousled, “you’ve got some honey on the corner of your mouth,” he chuckled nervously as he pointed at his own mouth.

Smiling your thanks at him, you lifted a hand to the left side of your mouth, “did I get it?”

He shook his head as he picked up a clean napkin, “may I?”

Wordlessly, you nodded and Remus leaned over to the table to wipe the smattering of honey from your lips, he hesitated as he pulled his hand away and you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips and then back up to your face. There was a pretty twinkle in his hazel eyes, “thanks Remus,” you whispered with a smile and he quickly leaned back with a small smile on his face.

Sirius smirked and nudged your arm but you ignored him as you looked over at Lily to say something to her. The words died in your throat as you saw that Lily was looking between you and Remus with a bright smile on her face, her emerald green eyes narrowed. When she felt you looking at her she grinned at you innocently as she went back to her cereal.

“So, Y/N, Lyra. Do you girls fancy coming on the first Hogsmeade trip with us, I think the first date is mid-October.”

Before you could answer, Lyra spoke up, “we’d love to, thanks Lily,” she was twirling her hair through her fingers and she was smirking at Sirius who was smirking right back at her, his grey eyes dropping to her lips.

You rolled your eyes as you piled bacon and eggs onto your plate and filled up your golden goblet with pumpkin juice. You chatted with Lily and Remus about the upcoming Hogsmeade trip while Lyra and Sirius flirted shamelessly, and when the bell rang you were all shunted to your first lesson which was Transfiguration.

McGonagall spent the first part of the lesson lecturing the class on Animagi. Though you knew that Sirius didn’t need the lecture you weren’t sure why he decided to become an Animagus illegally. It just didn’t make sense. Though it did make sense as to why he was doodling on a scrap piece of parchment, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what McGonagall was saying. When McGonagall instructed you all to get your books out you dug around in your bag for a few moments. It felt like a stone had been dropped in the pit of your stomach when you made the realisation and you mentally slapped yourself.

“Shit!” you exclaimed a little too loudly. The whole class fell silent at your exclamation and you glanced up to look at your friends. Sirius was smirking while Lily was shaking her head with an amused smile and Remus was smiling politely. Next to you, you could feel Lyra’s shoulders shaking as she silently laughed.

“I beg your pardon Miss Y/L/N?” McGonagall looked at you from over the top of her round spectacles, her mouth set in a firm line.

Heat rushed up your neck and onto your cheeks as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you fiddled with your fingers as you cleared your throat, “I’m sorry Professor, but I seem to have forgotten my book at home,” you couldn’t believe that you had made such a blunder.

McGonagall sighed as she twirled her wand between her long fingers, “very well. Share a book until you can have yours sent over,” you nodded as you looked down at Lyra’s book and there were no more outbursts for the rest of the lesson.

At the end of the lesson you were walking down the cold hallway with Lyra and Lily when Remus caught up to the three of you, “hey Y/N,” you smiled as you turned around and saw Remus, “if you need to use a text book then you’re more than welcome to use mine,” he flushed and you wondered how someone could be so sweet and selfless.

“That’s very sweet of you to offer Remus but I wouldn’t want to put you out. I’ll write a letter home to my parents tonight and I’m sure they’ll send it over soon enough. Thank you though, I appreciate the offer,” you smiled as you placed a hand on his arm.

He nodded, looking vaguely disappointed as he walked back to join his friends. Lyra tutted and shook her head, “Merlin, Y/N. You are so damn oblivious.”

Later on that evening you sat in front of the crackling fire with Lyra and about half a dozen open books. You had borrowed the book that you needed from the library; you didn’t want to constantly keep borrowing Lyra’s book. You were in the process of sticking post it notes on the pages, you liked to annotate your books but you would never deface a library book so you were using heart shaped post it notes.

About half an hour later you began to grow bored with working so you settled for doodling little pictures and bits of poetry that you had read over the summer on a blank post it note. You vaguely wondered what the school year had in store for you.

----------------------------

Remus grinned in amazement as he made his way through the busy library; it was always amazing to see how the library filled up during the first week of being back at Hogwarts. Though Remus knew that in a couple of weeks the library would be a lot less busy and students would soon start falling behind in their work. That was the pattern

As Remus reached up to grab the book that he required he cursed Sirius, he cursed Sirius to hell and back. Sirius was currently using Remus’ Transfiguration book as a flat surface so he and James could build a house of cards using Exploding Snap cards, they’d also stolen Lily’s book. Remus could simply take his book back but he really didn’t fancy putting up with a stroppy Sirius, it just wasn’t worth it. He could have also used Sirius’ book but he wanted to take a jaunt down the library for a bit of peace and quiet, and he wanted to see if he would run into Y/N.

With the big book firmly in his arms he picked his way through the desperate and stressed out crowd, and out through the door, almost bumping into someone.

“Woah, Remus. We really need to stop meeting like this,” he heard a familiar voice and a giggle and he realised that it was the young woman who had just been occupying his daydreams, “are you alright? What are you doing down here?” she asked.

Her eyes were warm and sparkling as she smiled and Remus was sure that she’d done something different with her hair. Remus’ teeth dug into his bottom lip as he took in how beautiful Y/N looked and he felt a flush on his cheeks. He only realised that Y/N had asked him a question when she raised an eyebrow and Remus felt the flush on his cheeks darken.

“Sirius stole my book and I didn’t want to deal with him,” Remus chuckled and gestured to his book.

Y/N nodded with a look of understanding, “ah, I see,” she sighed, “I’m sorry if I was rude the other day when you offered to lend me your book. I didn’t mean to blow you off; I just didn’t want to put you out.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow in slight confusion, he was pretty certain that Y/N couldn’t be rude if she tried, “Y/N, honestly its fine. I didn’t think that you were rude at all, it’s honestly no problem.”

Y/N let out a relieved breath as she gave Remus a dazzling smile, “oh that’s good. Maybe we could study together sometime?”

At her words, Remus’ heart did a flip, it was only studying but it meant a lot more to him than that, he nodded and he finally found his words, “um yeah that uh sounds like a plan,” he grinned nervously.

“Great,” she placed her hand on his forearm, “I’ll see you later Remus,” she smiled as she waved at him as she walked back down the corridor. Remus smiled as he watched her retreating figure for a while before making his way to the common room.

He almost had a heart attack as he climbed through the portrait hole and he heard small explosion and he glared over at Sirus’ and James’ table where they had just recruited Peter. Sirius burst out laughing as he patted Peter on the back and Peter scowled before he reset the deck of cards. Lily grinned over at him as he sat next to her on the couch.

“Did you get one?”

Remus smiled and placed the book on the table, “I did.”

Lily smirked as she looked over at her boyfriend’s table, raising her voice so they could hear, “you know I think it’s really mean the way that some people have to steal other people’s property so they can waste their time.”

James rolled his eyes while Sirius looked over at her with a scowl, gesturing at the house of cards, “well, for one I can’t be bothered walking up those stairs to get mine and besides I thought Remus might want the opportunity to ruin into Y/N,” he smirked while Remus flushed.

Lily gasped happily as she looked at Remus, “did you run into her?” when Remus nodded she squealed happily, “you guys belong together, mark my words, this will be a good year for the both of you.”

Remus laughed nervously as he distracted himself by opening his book and pulling his unfinished essay towards closer, “we’ll see,” he grinned at Lily before they got down to work.

About halfway through his essay, Remus frowned as he noticed a bit of fluorescent pink paper sticking out one of the pages and he turned the pages until he saw a pink heart shaped post it note. Someone had doodled an excellent picture of a wolf howling at the moon with a line from a poem beneath it, ‘the crownless again shall be king.’ There was a little bit of blank space beneath the drawing and the poetry line. Remus grinned as he wrote back, he knew nothing would come of it but he wanted to focus on something. Something other than Y/N anyway.

---------------------------- 

@smiithys @hp-imagines-07 @pregnant-piggy @reylo-hope @unexpectedurl @siriusblackspam @elayneblack​

[twofacedbelief]

Blessed Warmth DLAMP Soulmate AU [part 2]

read on AO3

idea comes from @ravenwashere1776

Patton has always loved the four dark marks on his body, and he can’t wait for when they’ll blossom into colour as his soulmates touch him for the first time. Those four dark marks are not the only signs of his soulmates on his body, but the others are related to how they will find their soulmates. There are so many different soulmate connections, and Patton loves them all. He loves the name written out neatly on his wrist (Logan), the purple drawings and notes that sometimes covers his arm, the mark on his shoulder that will match one of them, and even the sentence that sometimes worries him; “If you don’t let go right now, I will scream.”

Roman is frustrated by how little he has to go on when it comes to finding his soulmates. Except for four different symbols, he only has a name, a sentence, and the occasional purple ink from someone who hasn’t even attempted to arrange a meeting. He wonders if the fourth one even knows that they see whatever they write. It would have been very helpful if he was able to write back, but no luck. Or he was repeatedly ignored. At least the sentence is unique; it’s definitely not every day that you hear “Eat the rich.”

Virgil is not actually sure how many soulmates he has, but it’s at least three. He doesn’t like not knowing, and he isn’t even sure what his own soulmate connection is. Whatever it is, it must be onesided, and that’s just awful. He has no idea if they hear the songs that get stuck in his head, feel when he gets hurt, can taste what he eats, or if what he doodles on his arm shows up on them. He’s honestly thankful that one of them has the sentence connection; he’s not going to be able to mistake his soulmate for the wrong person when the words are “Eat the rich.”

Logan greatly appreciates the simplicity of his soulmate connection. He has four names written out in four different handwritings; Patton, Roman, Virgil, Dee. If he ever meets someone with one of those names, it’ll be easy to inquire if they’re his soulmate.  Even in the case that it might simply be a strange coincidence, he has three ways to prove that it isn’t; the one symbol, the purple ink, and the rather rude sentence - “I’m twenty-five, bitch.”

///

Dee hasn’t thought much about soulmates since he was in high school, and he’s definitely not going to start doing it again today. It’s winter in New York, which means snows, and his heater thought it would be a brilliant idea to break during the night. Waking up in an ice-cold apartment has put him in a very bad mood, as did having to get five sweaters over his head just to get some resemblance of warmth back into his limbs. He has never been more thankful that his dad took up the knitted sweater for Christmas thing after having read the Harry Potter series.

It’s with great reluctance that he puts on his winter boots and zips up his warmest jacket. He adds a soft scarf to the ensemble too, just to be safe. He has no idea when during the night that his heater broke, but there is a very big risk that he’s been in the cold long enough to be sick. On the slim chance that he hasn’t, he’s definitely not going to risk it by going outside. He curses himself for not already owning an electric heating blanket. A space heater would probably be the better option, but it would also be more expensive and likely harder to find.

He really needs to look into getting a better job, especially since the one he has so far has denied all his transfer-requests. What’s the point of a Los Angeles office if they have him stuck at the New York one? They don’t even pay that well! Or maybe he needs to get better at budgeting. No, it’s definitely the pay that is the problem.

Dee grumbles into his scarf the whole way to the store. He sneezes from the temperature change once he enters, and starts regretting the number of layers he’s wearing. The store actually has heat, making him go from being frozen to feeling like he’s in a sauna. He’ll just have to be quick. With renewed determination, he heads towards the part of the store most likely to have the electric blanket that he so desperately needs. He rounds the corner into the right aisle just in time to see that there is only one blanket left on the shelf, and some other person is about to take it.

Normally, Dee likes to consider himself quite witty and otherwise pretty good with words. This time, he has no care for what impression he might make. He needs that blanket - he refuses to walk to another store today.

“If you don’t let go right now, I will scream.” he threatens. He probably doesn’t look like much, being only 5ft and almost drowning in the layers he’s wearing, but he’s not going to let the blanket go without a fight.

“Oh thank god, I don’t need to call the cops!” the stranger replies, relief obvious in their tone. It’s not the answer that Dee had expected, but the words are strangely familiar to him.

Ah. Soulmate. That makes sense. It also doesn’t make his day better in any way, because he still needs that blanket.

“I’m still going to scream if you don’t give me that blanket.”

“I’ll buy it for you,” the stranger offers. “My name is Patton.”

“Dee. I can pay for my own blanket.”

“It’s lovely to finally meet you, Dee. I live with the rest of our soulmates if you would like to meet them.”

Patton both sounds and looks nice, and during any other circumstances, Dee would probably enjoy teasing him. This isn’t any other circumstance though, and Dee is barely aware of the conversation. His eyes are locked on the blanket that Patton is still holding. He thinks they might be moving in the direction of the check-out, but he’s honestly not sure.

“You could come over now,” Patton continues. “Everyone is at home. Or we could exchange numbers! I just can’t believe that we finally found you.”

///

Dee thinks that he must have agreed to come with Patton, as next thing he knows, they’re standing in the elevator of a much nicer apartment building than the one he lives in. He’s cradling a bag protectively, so he can only assume that Patton did buy him the blanket. He hopes he remembered to say thanks, as it would be far too awkward to suddenly show gratitude now.

The elevator stops. Patton leads him out of it, and towards a door at the end of the hallway. The door is open, and he remembers Patton saying that the other soulmates would be there. It’s very strange to go out for a blanket and end up meeting not one, but all four of his soulmates, Dee thinks.

He awkwardly enters after Patton; the apartment is quite big, and it definitely has a functioning heater. If possible, he would love to just take a nap before having to go through the whole we’re soulmates but we four already have a relationship and you’re an outlier thing. It’s pretty negative of him to think that way, but it’s hard not to, what with the four actually living together. Either they’ve known each other for years, or their pre-existing dynamic is amazing. Dee doesn’t want to get in their way.

“You need to stop taking in children.” a new voice says, and Dee looks up to see a man dressed in a black button-up with a dark blue tie, and jeans. His hair is slicked back, and Dee thinks he can see one real tattoo peeking out from his rolled-up sleeves. The row of names on his wrist immediately tells him that this must be Logan.

“I’m twenty-five, bitch.” Dee says. It’s not the most polite way to introduce himself to a soulmate, but he doesn’t appreciate being called a child just because he’s short in comparison. He’s also definitely starting to suspect that he has a fever. It would be a really good idea to take off his jacket.

“My name is Logan, not bitch.” Logan answers in a deadpan tone that makes Dee giggle into his scarf. He’s strangely proud over the fact that he’s the reason that Logan has bitch written somewhere on his skin.

Patton is unwinding Dee’s scarf for him, having already taken off his own outerwear. Dee would feel embarrassed, but he thinks he has a right to be overwhelmed by everything that is happening. Especially when a new person peeks out from the kitchen. Their skin is a lovely shade of light brown, their hair is a styled mess of reddish curls, and Dee thinks he spots a golden septum piercing.

“Do I need to defend your honour?” the person jokes, their voice warm like honey. They step further into the hallway, and Dee gets a proper look at the sweater that they’re wearing. It’s a nice shade of red, with a golden crown on it. A golden crown that sparkles. Princey is stitched in cursive writing underneath the crown. Maybe a nickname. It would be stupid if the person was a real prince. The states might not have a royal family, but other countries do, and they get money for what - doing nothing? Being born royal? It’s absolute bullshit, in Dee’s opinion. There are much better things the money could go towards, like the homeless.

“Eat the rich.” is what Dee states, instead of voicing any of those thoughts. He looks down as he registers what he said. Huh, Patton had taken the bag from him. He’s not even wearing his jacket any longer. When did that happen? Maybe he should take off his shoes.

“Ooh, I like him!” a fourth voice calls. Dee looks up, but he doesn’t really see anything but a blur of black and purple.

Even without his scarf and jacket, he’s still feeling far too warm. He’s not sure if it’s the layers of sweaters or the fever he most definitely has. His eyelids feel heavy; a nap has never seemed like such a good idea before. This is really not how he wanted his first meeting with his soulmates to go, but it’s too late to do anything about that.

“I just wanted a goddamn heated blanket.” Dee sighs. His eyes close and he feels his body start to fall, too exhausted to stand up any longer.

[tsipasce]

Same Difference, Ch.08

A/N: [ insert “Growth” gif]

Chapters: 01  |  02 |  03 |  04 | 05  | 06 | 07

AO3 | Fanfic

The weekend flew by, mostly thanks to the great time she had with Hitomi. Though after Saturday night’s events, Nanami’s only thoughts were on her friend’s suggestion to get self-defense training. Well, that and the cute doodles on a now-bookmarked page in her planner. She smiled to herself remembering that night and the unexpectedly pleasant company. The image of him sitting next to her as they joked brought a warmth to her face she was very reluctant to accept. Snap out of it and focus. She chastised herself as she quickly remembered what had happened earlier that night when she felt she couldn’t defend herself.

Sure it turned out fine, but what if he’d been more aggressive and I was alone? Or what if he had a quirk or got training to use it against people… Nanami didn’t finish the thought but she knew where it led and she was honest enough to admit it scared her. Sunday night she made a list of classes to check out. Usually being a thoughtful shopper, she figured it would be smarter to vet the classes by observing before diving in. She had an hour or so after work before she went to the lab, so why not squeeze in an errand?

Packing up her things, she headed out of the office, pulling up the directions on her phone. After a couple blocks, she arrived in front of a studio with large, glass windows and a dozen or so occupants inside. It wasn’t very long before she realized this wouldn’t be a class where she’d learn much. The “assailant” was really just some poor guy in a thick layer of padding, standing still as the students formed a line to shyly “punch” or “kick” him with all the brutality of a raucous pillow fight. Everyone moved at their own pace, but pragmatic as she was, Nanami knew whatever she learned from this class wouldn’t be enough to repel someone who really meant trouble. After checking out two other classes yielding similar results, she decided to give it a rest for the day and head to the lab. They had a lot of data to analyze from the most recent round of tests, and she wanted to get a leg up on preparations.

Parking in her regular spot, she walked up to the front gates and knocked. She cocked her brow in confusion after waiting for a minute. Where the heck is Kurono… Usually if she was due to arrive at 6:00pm, he’d be in the front room waiting with an extra cup of tea he’d just so happened to have made at 5:45pm. Despite their initial meetings, they’d gotten closer over the past couple months, trading looks when Overhaul was in one of his “moods” and taking breaks together. No one was as meticulous and punctual as Overhaul, but Kurono would definitely be a close second, so seeing him late was surprising. This is odd. Nanami began to think as the door opened and she was greeted by another man she’d seen in passing.

“Good evening, doc. This way, please.”

“Oh, good evening. Lead the way,” she said, brushing off the concern from earlier. It wasn’t unreasonable to think they’d changed schedule every now and then.

The man escorted her to the lab and shut the door, leaving her to some work she was happy to do alone. After Saturday night, she wasn’t completely sure how to interact with her lab partner. Sure they hadn’t necessarily done anything untoward, but it would be a lie to say it was nothing.

Five minutes passed by, then ten… once minute number fifteen rolled around she began to get Worried? Nope. We’re not going there today. It’s probably just “business” or something else shady. If he doesn’t think this research is important, that’s his loss. She convinced herself, a little irritated he’d blown her off without even one of his curt “I’m busy. We’ll speak later” texts. Just as she was about to mentally practice the argument she’d have with him when he finally decided to come in, the door burst open, startling her as she almost dropped the samples she was moving.

Turning towards the door, she saw the angry little Muppet, already preparing to hear some kind of smart remark. Thought everyone else had warmed to her in one way or another, Mimic made it clear the only person worth any courtesy was Overhaul. “Well how can I help you Mimi—”

“Please—please just come with me right now. I don’t have time to explain, just hurry and follow me!��  the small creature shrieked. Well, in a way, he always shrieked, but this time Nanami could hear a desperation she’d only heard during her E.R. days. Switching gears, she knew to drop what she was doing and follow him. Whatever he needed, it was serious.

Racing down the long, winding hallways behind him, she was grateful to have kept in some semblance of shape. Just before she reached her limit, they stopped at a familiar door. Her heart sank, Isn’t this his office? She realized before Mimic quickly opened the door and promptly closed it once they entered. She looked confused as she saw Overhaul lying face down on one of the couches in the office. Kurono was blocking most of her line of sight to him as he was kneeling by his side. Hearing the door close, he looked back, moving out of the way, a grave look on his face. As she took in the scene, she heard a voice croak out “I… I can’t reach...”. She was confused for a moment before she saw there was a sizeable, deep gash across Overhaul’s back and hives, Probably from being touched and carried in here she guessed. By the look of it, she knew even breathing had to be excruciating and even a contortionist would find it challenging to bend their arm behind their back to touch it. Traditional medicine would be a gamble…she thought, as she took off her gloves, resigning herself to the obvious option.

“Alright, lift him up, very gently.”  Nanami commanded firmly, noticing the significant blood loss.

“Touch me again and I’ll kill the lot of you.” He seethed as his subordinates backed away, knowing better than to take the threat lightly.

She tried to think quickly as she needed to see if there were any other injuries before acting. Remembering all the times he’d touched her yet hadn’t broken out, she decided to give it a shot. “Then I’ll do it.” She said resolutely. He mustered up enough strength to turn his head and glare in warning. She cautiously moved forward and knelt beside him to whisper. “You’ve touched me before without breaking out, remember? You and I both know there’s a time limit and the longer your wound is open, the harder it will be to repair. I promise I won’t let anyone else make contact, just let me help you.”

He seemed to accept she was right and that he had no other choice. The warning was still in his eyes, but he nodded reluctantly. Though moving him was a two person job, she knew she’d have to make due. With one of her hands at his head and another along his side she tried to keep his head, neck and back aligned while rolling him onto one side. She tried her best to be careful, but it was hard moving him at all without earning a wince and hiss. Good, it’s just the back. She confirmed noting the lack of blood underneath him as she quickly looked over him before her arms gave out.

Letting him down, she knelt down beside him, assessing the situation. His weak, but at least he’s conscious. I can do this. She reassured herself, not used to having such a captivated audience watching behind her. Usually when she’d used her quirk to fix something so drastic, she’d make sure she was alone with the patient and they were sedated. The Eight Bullets knew about her quirk, but it was still nerve-racking having to perform in front of so many eyes.

“Just do it” he exasperated from behind gritted teeth. He seemed to be bracing himself, but she was confused as to why.

Brushing it off, she took a deep breath, disassembling his shirt to get a better view of the wound. It was as bad, if not worse, than she thought. Within seconds she reconstructed the damaged bones, sinew and then skin until the wound vanished, earning her a sigh of relief from her patient and the onlookers.

“There you go, good as new.” She piped, almost slapping him on the back like a fixed car before stopping herself short and gently patting instead. “Who did this to you?” a note of genuine concern in her voice.

“It doesn’t matter, it was a cheap shot. None of them exist anymore.” He replied too simply for someone who’d probably just murdered multiple someones. Nanami never forgot what he was, but it didn’t make the regular confirmation any easier. “Kurono, Mimic: Leave us.” He added, now moving himself to rise from the couch.

They filed out of the room, Kurono looking back, giving her a small nod and thankful glance before closing the door behind them. Turning her attention back to him, Overhaul was already at the closet in his office, putting on another, identical shirt. Knew it. She thought remembering her theory about his wardrobe.

He continued buttoning it up, his back turned to her as he began,” How did you do that?”

“Um… the same way you do?” She replied, perplexed as to what he meant. She’d disclosed most of what she was able to do with their shared quirk already, and he’d shown that he knew how to heal himself. She’d become leagues more cooperative and transparent during their research, so the question caught her off guard.

“No, you don’t. It’s been a long day, and I’d greatly appreciate it if you gave up this little act and just explained it to me.”

“I... I don’t know what you mean…” Ok now I’m really confused…

He turned around, an obvious look of suspicion in his eyes, “I won’t ask again.”

Nanami was taken aback, insulted,” So I save your ass and in return I get an interrogation?”

“First of all, it was my back, not my ass. Secondly, I only interrogate uncooperative parties, so cooperate and explain how you healed me like that?” he intoned, now stalking towards her, an accusatory look still in his eyes.

“Like how? I have literally no idea what you mean!” Genuinely confused at why he was so angry with her all the sudden, she was really hoping he’d throw her a bone here.

“Without the pain!”

“…the what?” She looked at him searchingly before realizing what he meant, a pained and slightly embarrassed look on his face. Her tense stance relaxed before continuing, “Have you… just been feeling it all the entire time?”

“You haven’t?”

“Hell no,” she shot back before continuing, thinking out loud, “To feel every singular cell being ripped apart and put back together every time? That would be…” His eyes were no longer meeting hers, his jaw tightening, “…unbearable.”

Clinically, she knew they utilized their quirk differently, but seeing the real-world effects was another thing entirely. Of course, someone who’d grown up only weaponizing their quirk wouldn’t think about minimizing pain, and conversely someone who’d used it almost exclusively for healing would prioritize comfort. If it had just been a theory she’d concocted in a vacuum, she’d probably think it was fascinating, but now it just seemed�� Sad. Knowing he’d been in that kind of pain for so long caused an aching in her chest.

“Do not pity me.” He seethed, misjudging the look on her face.

“What? No. Look, I know this may be a novel concept for you, but there is such a thing as empathy.”

“I have no use for that either.”

“You sure did a couple minutes ago when you were bleeding out.”

“Yes, and you were useful, as most tools are, but for now I need nothing else from you.”

She couldn’t help the look of hurt that flashed across her face, his hard stare unwavering. Looking him up and down with disgust, she knew it wasn’t worth the effort to continue the discussion. He was lashing out at her because he was embarrassed, and she wouldn’t tolerate it.

“This… was a mistake. Fuck you.”

She turned on her heel out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuuuuccckkk that guy. She cursed to herself as she stormed down the hallway and back to the lab. The nerve of him to be bleeding all over me, begging for MY help one second, just to turn around and humiliate me the next. Fuck him.

Bursting through the doors to the lab, Nanami saw Kurono redrawing one of her diagrams in their notes, “I’m sorry Dr. Watanabe, it’s nothing against you it’s just—Wait, what are you doing?” he asked, noticing she was angrily shoving her things into her bag.

“I’m leaving.”

Kurono sighed, confident that Overhaul had to have said something cruel. “I’m not sure what he said to you, but I do know he’s been lighter than he has been in a long time since you started working together.” He confessed, hoping it would strike a chord with her. She paused, a sad look crossing her face before it reverted to anger and she began packing again. “Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?”

“Help me kick Overhaul’s ass and make him apologize.”

“… it has been a pleasure working with you.”

Pausing for a minute, her fists clenched in frustration, she realized what she’d be losing by leaving. “Just this morning I had one of the most exciting research projects of my career and felt like maybe we’d become just a little bit closer to… whatever counts as forward in this weirdass partnership thing. But he just had to piss it away.” It was upsetting to say the least, months of work would now come to a halt and collect dust, all because of his ego, “It’s not fair.”

Her eyes were trained on the ground, too angry and hurt to move when she heard him get up from his chair and walk over. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Care for one last cup of tea before you go?”

Sighing heavily, trying to release the tension from her shoulders, she nodded solemnly attempting to give a small smile, “Yeah, one more for the road.”

“Ok, I’ll leave you to your things. Come to the front room upstairs when you’re ready.” Kurono patted her shoulder as he walked past her, leaving her alone to finish packing up.

The anger was still present, but soon enough the sadness of loss came washing over her. No. We’ll feel all the feels later, let’s just get out of here she thought sniffling and recomposing herself. She was going through some papers when she heard the door open behind her.

“Sorry, Kurono, I’ll be done in just a minute,” she said, still focused on her task. When there was no response, she looked to see who came in, a grimace instantly plastered across her face. He walked over to the workbench across from her and stood quietly, his arms folded. She scoffed before turning back to her task, ignoring him. Packing up the last of her things, she glanced around briefly before her eyes landed on her planner that laid on the workbench he was in front of. Rolling her eyes, she marched over, standing only inches away from him before reaching past to grab the booklet behind him. As she turned to walk away, she thought she heard something.

“Excuse me?” she looked back at him, a tinge of irritation in his eyes. She rolled hers before turning again. “Why do I even ask...”

“I said, I’d like our partnership to continue.”

She was sure she was going to get whiplash from dealing with him, but responded anyway, unable to let this slide. “You have a real funny way of showing it.”

“But I am showing it, right now by asking you to continue.”

“You do not get to humiliate me and then just pretend like saying that will be good enough. You’re calling it a partnership right now, but a couple minutes ago I was a tool.”

“So, you’d give up all of this work because your feelings were hurt?” his tone cold and almost annoyed.

“Because my feelings were hurt? No, you disrespected me. I helped you—which I was glad to do—and you spit in my face. No thank you, no nothing. Partners don’t do that, at least not any I’d consider working with.”

“We may be partners, but our standing is not the same. My mastery of overhaul exceeds yours, thus you need direction.”

“You have a mastery of violence. Just because I don’t use it to fight or kill people whenever my ego isn’t stroked just the right way… that doesn’t make me lesser than you, and it certainly doesn’t make you better than me.”

“You agreed to come into this world knowing exactly what it was. This is not about ego, this is about the natural order of things here. You admit you couldn’t hold your own in combat, so where does that leave you in a world that bases order on the violence you’re abstaining from?”

“I’d say right next to you.” She stepped forward, solidifying the confrontation. “For all your power, you still had to be saved, by me. As far as I’m concerned, whatever fight you were in tonight would have been a draw without me, so who really decided the ‘natural order’? My value is the same, whether I’m inside or outside this world, and I will not stay where people refuse to see it just because it doesn’t conform to their narrow definition of it.”

He stared at her a beat searchingly as she stared back in complete defiance. She knew logically she’d have little recourse if he made the snap decision to disassemble her, but she wouldn’t want to live with herself if she let him think this was ok. As much as she lectured about ego, her pride never ceased to get the best of her.

“You…have a point.” He managed to get out, the words sounding like they were causing him physical pain. He couldn’t deny respect was paramount in the world of the underground and her demand for it was not unreasonable, not to mention how useful she could be in the future. However, for that to be true, he’d have to acknowledge the possibility that he was in the wrong, something he’d only ever done for his father, the only other person to save him. He knew what had to be done. He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, unintentionally inhaling what he knew was a light smell of lavender. She was standing much closer to him than anyone he wasn’t planning on fighting, but he found himself not loathing it. Savoring it for a moment, he turned to walk around to her side creating some much-needed distance between them. Clearing his throat by swallowing what could best be described as his own pride, he locked eyes with her. She was still royally pissed, but also watching intently, reluctantly curious.

“I…I do find you valuable. To compare you to a tool was… unfair.” By his tone and furrowed brows, she could tell this was difficult for him, but she needed to hear him say it. Her expression softened slightly, but she stood firm, waiting to hear the rest. She didn’t want to leave, but their arrangement couldn’t continue if he was going to treat her like he had earlier, and she needed to know he knew that. “You have my gratitude. I would like for you to reconsider your decision and to move forward… with me… on this project.”

It was a relief to hear, but he’d left out one important word. “… is this your way of saying sorry?” she asked, knowing the answer. His arrogance might not let him say it outright, but judging by how worked up he’d gotten, she was sure it was as close to an apology as anyone had heard from him.

“Think what you want,” he replied turning his gaze from her to stare at a cabinet that was suddenly very interesting. “… I won’t refute your assumption.”

Close enough. For now.

Her gaze dropped from his face as her hand massaged the back of her neck, resigning herself to this curve ball fate had thrown her. She sighed, walking back to the workbench, placing the notes down as they had been earlier. She went into her bag and retrieved a small box and began walking towards the lab doors.

“… Where are you going?” He asked, the slightest tinge of worry in his voice.

“Tea break and snacks.” She said waving the small box,” I’ll be back in 30. We can go over notes then.” She replied simply.

“… I see. I’ll be waiting then.” The subtle sound of relief in his voice did not go unnoticed. She paused, with her back still turned to him and spoke over her shoulder.

“Overhaul?”

“Yes?”

“To answer your question, I disassemble the nerve fibers connected to the tissue I’m repairing until I’m finished. I’d usually just rely on the anesthesia since most of the patients I work with have to go into surgery anyway, but in cases like tonight, that is how I do it without pain.” She explained before leaving the lab.

“…I see. Thank you.” He intoned with a level of sincerity that felt foreign to him. Though he’d never admit it, the sight of her lab coat hanging next to his brought a strange sense of comfort.

[ellipsea]

dear diary

Fandom: The Raven Cycle Pairing: Gansey/Diary Rating: G Word Count: 1314 Summary: Gansey was dying.

Metaphorically. Hyperbole about such a thing had lost the potential to be a joke after his second death, probably. And despite Calla's incessant "Better with three!" hollering at him whenever he paid Blue a visit at 300 Fox Way, he wasn't ready for a third go-around.

Notes: inspired by @cabeswaterlovesthem and this post.

also on AO3

Gansey was dying.

Metaphorically. Hyperbole about such a thing had lost the potential to be a joke after his second death, probably. And despite Calla's incessant "Better with three!" hollering at him whenever he paid Blue a visit at 300 Fox Way, he wasn't ready for a third go-around. At least not until much, much later in his resurrected life.

No, Gansey was having an existential crisis because he had forgotten his diary at Monmouth Manufacturing, and now he had to survive a full day of classes at Aglionby without it.

He'd call it a journal to anyone else, but addressed the leather-bound booklet with the "diary" endearment each time he began his entries. He found it therapeutic, to talk to someone about the mess they'd pulled themselves out of last fall. It still contained old entries from his Glendower hunting days, and several sketches and poems endured as proof of what a wistful boy he was.

Still is a wistful boy, but he was back then, too.

Today, during his diary-less day, he fidgeted a ballpoint pen against his desk, elegant marbled casing thumping against the wood. It was a gift he'd received in a long black box from his father for Christmas. He considered switching it out for his calligraphy fountain pen, but didn't want to overuse the tip. Plenty of pages in his diary swirled with his slanted script, and the right pen was always so hard to find.

Maybe it was a blessing that he wouldn't be able to write a new entry today. His grades had been slipping, slightly — doodling in the margins of his diary and jotting down errant ideas for adventures sapped his attention from lectures. Often he spiraled in some less-than-productive thoughts about the nature of his humanity, questioning if existence qualified as sufficient realness, and he recalled that his previous entry looked much like this:

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I wonder if I am a real boy. I don't mean to plagiarize Pinocchio, but I was fundamentally remade by magic twice. It's a really valid question. Jane says that I am just like her now: part tree, to her kinetic delight. Oh, kin, get it? Just like her? Okay, well. Ronan says that I have always been part magic, but that particular lapse in hostility was likely due to his inebriation. Adam asks me how I'm doing, mostly. It's his lack of assumptions I appreciate most but also thinking too hard about what's in my own head makes me feel lost.

I still feel like me, though. Same contact lenses, same car keys, same wanderlust, but that part's bigger these days. More timeless. Can you want to adventure into the past, present, and future all at once? I think I've found a way. If all of your pieces are still intact, is the whole just the same? I think I'm in over my foresty head. Try to think of an answer for me next time, won't you?

Yours, sincerely, always,

Gansey (I hope)

The final bell rang. The classroom noisily transitioned into a rush of bags being packed, plans being made, shoulders jostled and hair rustled. Gansey sighed. He still had extracurriculars to attend, professors to speak to. Adam would be off to work for a few hours, so they couldn't accompany each other back to Monmouth, where they agreed they would both be studying until late —

"Gansey Boy!"

Boy, yes, that's what I am —

"Henry," Gansey replied brightly. "My good prince."

Henry's hair and smile defied laws of physics, but when he spied Gansey's pen spinning about agitated fingers, his expression turned more sympathetic. "All right there? Look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have," Gansey said. He set down the pen to clasp Henry's palm in greeting. "Just not today."

Club meeting running late, Gansey texted, hours later, phone tucked close to his chest. I'll have to miss dinner, unfortunately.

take your time dick

Flattered to have gotten a response at all, Gansey hastily typed back. He never corrected Ronan on his nomenclature anymore. Lost causes and Ronan Lynch were old friends.

Save me some wings, we should be done shortly.

no really take your time

Two texts from Ronan in under two minutes — normally, he would take his good fortune and run with it, but the itching nature of the day and the instant dismissal of his tardiness stirred Gansey's senses that something was up.

"Not sticking around?" Johnson said as the meeting adjourned, Gansey already heading for the door.

"We bought all these donuts," Geary added, thumbing behind him to the layers of pink boxes across the desks.

"I have a dinner to attend," Gansey said, waving them off politely. To the Aglionby student body, his excuse probably sounded more like I have to go dump a pound of caviar down my throat and I won't even taste it. But dinners at Monmouth were scrappier, greasier, appreciative hums and full-bellied laughs all through the night. They were Blue's head in Gansey's lap, her hand rubbing his thigh whenever she felt like it, Henry's jovial arm wrapped around Gansey's shoulder. They were Ronan's legs on top of Adam's legs and his hand in Adam's hair and Adam wearing the easiest smile Gansey had ever seen on him, and it twisted something so brightly happy inside of him that he had to look away.

Days were theirs to frivol away, curses and tomb-raiding and evil Latin teachers all behind them.

When he got to the parking lot it was quiet and dim, the air forgiving and still, and the sight of his orange automotive miracle was a combusting sunspot on the dull pavement. He couldn't wait to get back, to get home, to kiss Blue, to unravel today's cares into textbooks and takeout.

On the third turn of his keys, the Camaro roared to life, chugging helplessly before remembering what taking a breath felt like. Reliably unreliable, as always. He cranked down the window on the drive away from campus, wind billowing through his hair and easing his worries. It all seemed so right, when he was like this. Just him, his car, the open air and open road. Maybe he didn't need the security of a diary, of writing it all down, making it physical and permanent and fastidious. He could just be. Moving on, moving forward. That sounded grand to Gansey-the-forest, and Henrietta rolled in waves as he passed it on by.

No one knocked to enter Monmouth anymore. The door swing freely and welcoming on its well-worn hinges, and Gansey greeted the interior as he stepped through the threshold. "Hey, guys —"

Three heads whipped up when the door shut. Adam, wide-eyed and hunched, pressed into Ronan's side on the couch. That was familiar, that was normal. The two were usually seen at each other's side, and it no longer gave Gansey pause but delighted him, plain and simple, that his friends had found comfort in each other. Sometimes the four of them competed for gross levels of PDA, until Henry joined in on Gansey's and Blue's side and they inevitably won the contest. (In his modest opinion.)

Ronan himself looked like he had committed a crime, which was also normal. But Blue — oh, beautiful and miraculous and wild Blue — looked like his guilty co-conspirator. They were all huddled on the couch over an oddly familiar leather rectangle, and realization pitted in Gansey's stomach.

"Oh, no," he said, and dropped his bag to the floor.

For a moment, they just stared each other down. A standoff, where the first one to break would be the one blamed for the whole thing. Then Ronan began reading from the diary, in a bold and booming voice, "My beloved Glendower —" and Blue roared with laughter and Adam wheezed and fell off the couch.

All Gansey could think was that he'd accept his third death anytime.

[jellyfishinc]

This a good time to remind people Peter Cullen IS a union member?

miners have rights