#i hope that made enough sense because i dont know how to say it better and brain is not cooperating;

[bitchlessdino]

hello! 🤍 can i request a bad boy type wonwoo having a soft spot for also a cold type reader?

like they always acting so cold towards other people and even both of them acting like they hate each other.

and people are like "oh there is no way they can date", but wonwoo is only kind to reader and viceversa even without them noticing

Oh, and they dont even realized their feelings until reader feels jealous when they saw wonwoo with someone else and thats when they realized about it, but are afraid to said something since reader doesnt know how wonwoo will react

Kinda angst maybe, but fluff at the end

take your time btw! 🤍 it is also totally okay if is not possible, hope you are having an excellent day 🌸

Pairing: wonwoox gn!reader Genre: slight angst, fluff, slice of life Word count: 6.3k tags: mentions alcohol, childhood au, biker!wonu, frienemy!wonwoo, possible love triangle, reader called a bitch, presence of violence and imminent danger, analogy using car wrecks, mc and wonwoo stilling living with their parents as adults because that's normal ok, kinda messy, intimates kisses Summary: Hard to maintain a good acquaintanceship if it started off on the wrong foot, but Wonwoo tries to do just that, no matter how much you resent him from childhood. Now reunited as adults, you're questioning whether your negative impression of him has stuck since being away or have you grown up just enough to realize how much between the two you have changed? author note: this was collecting dust but finally she is here. just in time for wonwoo to be in my bias list 🙂

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @goblinvern @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch

You will never willingly be associated with Jeon Wonwoo. 

His mom had just happened to be someone your mom knew. Someone that she hadn’t talked to or seen in a long time. Long enough to have built their own families and have their kids without realizing it. It was as if they fell back into place. A long-time childhood friendship that quickly rekindled in a grocery store one day. From that day on, your families were inseparable. As long as they were still friends, you’d see each other every day.

“Why would I babysit some weirdo kid? I have better things to do.”

The problem was he wanted nothing to do with you.

When you met him the first time, you were a child barely getting around to a bike without training wheels, and Wonwoo was meeting the first stages of fungal acne. He was a bit older than you were then and his mom had given him the duty to look after you, the neighbor’s kid. The neighbor’s weirdo kid.

His mom bragged to yours about how good of an older brother he was to his younger brother, Seonwoo, but that seemed that seems to be his limit. Having freshly turned a teen, it all made sense. Wonwoo didn’t know you, and all of a sudden in his growing years he’s stuck taking care of a kid he knows by association. Understandably, he’d have that teen angst.

You didn't mean to overhear. You just happened to eavesdrop behind a pillar that day in their obnoxiously nice house when you came across him and his mother talking privately. Admittedly, you hadn’t made the best impression, but you were any kid in their single digits: annoying, talkative, maybe skeptical. But you were a kid. A kid that got their feelings easily hurt.

Despite saying such hurtful words, Wonwoo listened. He treated you with care–consideration almost–following his mother's orders, but you didn't make it easy for him. Every group breakfast, every dinner, every ride to school. You became relentless. You knew how he really felt about your situation after all. Your mind was made up at that point.

If he wanted nothing to do with you, you wanted nothing to do with him. 

“Keep walking.”

Your eyes barely glaze over at the unfamiliar figure before waving off your hand as if dismissing a nuisance, which in this case was accurate. The unsolicited stranger scoffs, getting up from his unwelcome seat, hacking and spitting on the spot on the floor next to your chair. “I don’t fuck with bitches anyway.”

You roll your eyes as you shoo him away with the flick of your wrist again, then feel another unwanted presence join you in your once peaceful solitude. You tightly shut your eyes in frustration before taking a deep exhale, finding silence impossible under your circumstances. “I don’t want to hear it, Jeon.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” you hear Wonwoo arrogantly chuckle, shrugging off the thick leather off his shoulders and setting them on his lap as he takes a seat.

With your back turned to him, you imagine the pristinely lit smile on his face he gives when he’s amused, a rarity in these parts with the exception of you, someone he’s known long enough to recount every blemish that once appeared on your face. He watches you finish the rest of your drink, the bob of your throat shifting before you pull the glass away from your lips. Your resting bitch face is still intact after all these years.

“Good, keep it that way.” 

Wonwoo could have chosen to keep the peace as he said he would, but it was just too easy with you. Even after you’ve left for college and come back, he acts as if nothing has changed. In his eyes, you were still that same angsty kid who always has something snarky to say when he’s around. And man, did he always have just as smart a rebuttal. “It’s just, that was the fifth guy you’ve scared off—course, the guy was a moron—but you like dying alone, Frosty?”

Frosty. The Snowman. Much unlike the jolly creature, however, you were given that name being somewhat of a cold character, particularly to Wonwoo and anything he witnesses face the wrath of your harsh but honest judgment. 

You begin getting up from your seat, scowling at the abhorred nickname, the prediction of this dinner a mistake an accurate calculation. “Should’ve known you’d run your mouth. Tell mom I’m heading to the store across the street.”

Your mother was so proud to have you back home for a period before you’d find a new place again, and she insisted on holding a small intimate gathering at bar type restaurant. That meant sharing the space with other patrons, the Jeons, and unfortunately Wonwoo, who only grew more irritating than you last remember. 

“I’ll tell her, but I’m coming with.”

The caretaker role he was bestowed upon so long ago seems to resonate with him still, insisting on trailing behind you with nonchalance. To which you answer with a brash:

“Fuck off.”

Your eyes go to the back of your skull the nth time tonight before you’re off on your stroll, noticing the annoying scrap of Wonwoo’s heel following behind you after he waves your mom and the rest of the party farewell. You ignore him, darting towards the antique shop that warms your stomach with nostalgia, hearing the wind chimes clang when you enter with a cool musk breeze to follow.

“That all you have to say to me? Even if you hate me, there has to be some…sentiment.” 

You finger through the old hardcovers, eyes scanning over the aged wood of the shelves until they move on to the glossy wood of the cuckoo clocks on the walls. “Not even a little bit, Jeon.”

There’s the breathiness of his scoff that lingers in the musk air. He crosses your arms, the leather rubs loudly against itself. “Well, that’s sad to hear,” he responds, not sounding sad at all.

“Don’t you have an actual sibling to bother? Why are you being a nuisance to me?”

He simply shrugs. “Seonwoo isn’t back from his work-study just yet. Plus he’d be happy to know I kept you company.”

Unlike Wonwoo, Seonwoo was actually tolerable, pleasant even. If you were envious of Wonwoo for anything, it was having a nice little brother like Seonwoo. You weren’t exactly close but he was a nice kid, a lot nicer than Wonwoo anyway, and not at all that annoying kind of nice that chirps every two seconds.

You sigh. “Now that’s actually sad to hear.”

“I knew you’d say that. You always liked him better than me.”

Only because you never liked me in the first place.

“Mmhmm.”

“Oh my god, Wonwoo?”

A shrill voice beckons from the store entrance, an older version of a girl from your adolescence runs towards you both. “I thought I heard your gorgeous voice. Gorgeous face as well as always, how are you?”

Gina also grew up in the same neighborhood you both did and was typically nice, but around Wonwoo, she seemed to lose all train of thought since all her eyes could train on was him. She bats her eyelashes the same flirtatious way several years ago, and instinctively her body is drawn to him like mosquitos to blood, drinking in masculine appearance for all its worth.

If you were anything like her, you’d get it. Wonwoo is an attractive man by society's standards, but the truth of the matter is you can’t stand him. And you know deep down he can’t stand you. His fake politeness isn’t fooling anybody. Okay, that is a lie. His fake politeness doesn’t fool you, but his limitless charm made everyone else weak in the knees.

“Good, good.” He nods cordially, a smile drained from his face only leaving a straight stare, eyes only landing on Gina momentarily before they return to you.

Gina finds his gaze’s target before the light is slightly dimmed from her initially bright eyes. “And you too. Oh gosh, you must’ve got back too. Can you believe we’ve both graduated from college?”

You wonder if she does, considering you did graduate from the same university.

“Yeah, it’s…crazy.” You answer, sounding unintentionally sarcastic.

Gina awkwardly chuckles, eyes back on Wonwoo as if they never left. “All we need is Seonwoo and it’s like the musketeers again, huh?”

Hardly the musketeers when she only ever stalked Wonwoo the entire time. You’re surprised you didn’t find she didn’t follow him all the way to the bathroom too.

Wonwoo’s cold expression is a steel cage that lacks interest. He blindly nods, mumbling “sure,” and not giving any other sign of continuing the conversation.

“Well, you guys should totally make it to my housewarming party. I’m inviting all the other guys from the neighborhood. Invite Seonwoo too! It’ll be a nice way to catch up.”

“We’ll think about it,” Wonwoo answers, giving her another curt nod.

“I’ll be really, really grateful if you did.”

There are stars in her eyes, like a treat is dangling in front of it, that treat being a six-foot body of steel and perfect Wonwoo.

 “Right,” he grunts.

She finally waves you both goodbye before making it past the glass doors with a quirk in her step.

You continue to peruse the rest of the store, picking up that one wooden statue that’s never been sold, or if it has, it keeps getting returned. It makes you wonder if it’s cursed. “Just reject her already and let her move on. Even I feel sorry for her.”

“I’m not ready for the aftermath of all that.”

You really have to unlearn that eye roll of yours. You could tell it’s giving you a headache. “Of course you aren’t.”

“You’re not going, are you? The thing she mentioned?”

“This the first time you met me? Of course, I’m not going. You are?”

He shrugs. “A party never hurt anybody.” 

“Without an address?”

He pulls out his phone with a notification as clear as day, Gina’s Instagram handle ushering him with details of where the party whereabouts. “Who said I didn’t have an address?”

“She really needs to find a hobby.”

Wonwoo chuckles, tucking the phone back in his front pocket. “Ready to head back now? Unless you want to look through the store a second time.”

You groan. “Stop policing me. I’m going home.”

“I’ll take you.” 

You raise your brow. “On your fucking death trap? No thanks.”

He scoffs, crossing his arms, the leather of his jacket speaking out of turn again. “You say that as if people aren’t begging to the back of my Harley.”

“Only people with a death wish.”

That goes on for some time until you make yourself walk the mile before your feet give out. Wonwoo obviously is the first with a smile on his face before he forces you to get the rest of the couple miles on the back of his bike, which was admittedly prettier in person than the photos your mom showed you. 

There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you get on—no doubt regret—questioning the proximity. “Hold on,” he says, to which you answer, “fat fucking chance.”

Your spiteful words are wasted as you find yourself tugging on him as you speed off on the vehicle from hell on the freeway.

“You’re an asshole!” You scream from your lungs.

“And I told you to hold on!” He screams back, a wide smile on his face you have no way of seeing.

You desperately wrap your arms around his torso, your life flashing before your eyes like a movie. All you hear is the wind in your ears while the traffic lights are hardly visible through your tightly shut eyes. You feel your soul leave your body, thinking nothing but the idea of an afterlife. If there was one good thing about the predicament you’re in, it’d be that he can’t see the terror in your eyes. He doesn’t know how much you want to scream bloody murder.

Before you know it, you arrive home safe and sound, the gas stopping at the curb of your house. He abruptly uses the bike break and you crash against broad shoulders, and you exude bumbling idiocy as you cling to him like a baby with separation anxiety. Oxygen finally enters your brain and you recognize your compromised position, forcing your grip off of him. You unbuckle and shove his helmet into his lap as you get off, a permanent scowl on your face. 

“Fuck you.”

“Glad to see you haven’t changed, Frosty.”

You don’t forget that encounter back then and you never get a chance to with your mom finding any excuse to see the Jeons day after day since your arrival. If that perfect apartment with affordable rent were to drop at your feet at a perfect time just when you so desperately needed it, it’d be now.

“Bring that in over next door. The Jeons will be thrilled to see their fridge stocked. And remember I’ll be gone until the morning.”

“We just gave them homemade wine yesterday. Mom, just because they live next door doesn’t mean we always have to plan to meet. We see them anyway.” You grab the cumbersome container of whatever it was anyway and hold it to your side like like a football, a strained expression on your face.

“You need to understand the value of lasting relationships. That’s why you’re still single, honey.”

You roll your eyes, groaning as you trod off, not wanting to start up another one of lectures why you're in your mid-twenties room with hardly any men in your books let alone in your court. Better off facing Jeon Wonwoo again than that, you guess.

You knock on their familiar white door, awaiting an answer from the other side. Soon enough you hear a masculine voice, but a voice that isn’t quite Wonwoo’s. The boy's fresh face on the receiving end piques your interest, an expression telling of a life of light and ease. Seonwoo stares back at you with a smile before politely waving. “It’s good seeing you! Been a minute.”

You find yourself returning a gesture, relaxing your arms. “It has. Mom wanted to send things over. Again.”

“Of course. Come in.”

You leave the box of goods in their fridge, feeling the presence of the younger Jeon follow behind you like a benevolent puppy. “Did you get in yesterday?”

“This morning. Early flight.”

You grin. “Singapore doing you good, I see.”

“Nothing like home though.”

You softly chuckle, “Yeah, there isn’t.”

Your conversation is cut short with another family coming down the stairs, one that looks ready to leave. They meet your eyes in amusement and his steps begin to falter in turn. “I saw you yesterday.”

“Don’t you dare make a joke about me missing you. It wasn’t funny any of the first five times.”

He’s smug as expected, entertained by the fact you’ve kept count. “I won’t, but it won’t make it any less true.”

You scoff. “Live in reality for once in your life, Wonwoo.”

“I will when you do.” He comes to the kitchen—briefly passing by you to do so and grazing your forearm—to fill a glass of water and downs it, his signature jacket thrown over his shoulders. He let out a refreshed sigh in your direction and put it away as soon as he finished. “I’m leaving now. When you change your mind about missing me, I’ll be at Gina’s party. Might actually find some fun there while you’re at it.”

The door closes behind him dramatically and your attention is right back on Seonwoo, the successful bystander. “Your brother is annoying.”

The young man smiles, finding the nostalgia in that small event. “Reminds me of the good old times.”

“Well, I should get going.”

“You’re going to the party too?”

You shake your head. “Not the slightest bit interested. Just trying to keep myself busy while I’m still in town.”

“Plan on leaving already? You just got here.”

“I can’t live on my parents forever. Need to make a living of my own you know.”

He softly laughs, a warm light enveloping his presence. He always seems to emit pure joy. Like there was nothing that could ruin this kid's day. “Nice to see you haven’t changed. Still self-reliant.”

You can’t help but smile back, “… Wouldn't be me if I wasn’t. I'll see you later, kid.”

You walk back home and go on with the rest of your afternoon by carrying on the duties of a college graduate with no job: endless job hunting. You let yourself go on that way for an hour, already bored by rereading your applicant details and sending in copies and copies of cover letters and documents. Your eyes have started to see stars shooting from either corner, warning signs of mental fatigue.

Shaking the numbing feeling, you shut off your laptop and notice the time on the clock. In the back of your mind, you’re remembering that party Wonwoo ended up going to. These parties weren’t by any means rare, but it had been some time since you let yourself give into environments as such. You said you wouldn't go but in dire situations of weary silences, perhaps it would hurt to take a second in a new subsubspace. Something to take off the edge of the weight of your undetermined future.

Against your initial better judgment, you force yourself out of that house to enter that very party you said you wouldn't go to. So like Gina to make an event over a normal thing like this. You don’t put much thought into what you wear and leave the house and when you arrive late as you were, you are unsurprised by the huge turnout. Five seconds in, you’re already regretting the 10 bucks you paid via UBER to get there.

The house was so Gina. As expected of one of the daughters of the wealthiest families in town. As you enter, all you hear is music, loud and rambunctious voices and laughter, and shouts of barely adults chugging whatever concoction in those house party solo cups. It all quickly reminds you of college and high school, times in your life you were relieved to know were over.

Why did you decide to come again if you knew this was going to happen?

You try ignoring the voices that seem to recognize you, evading and walking through the place for a potential drink to buzz you out of self-consciousness. If you were going to be in a place like this, a drink was warranted by all means.

“Wonwoo, come on!”

Gina’s voice, easily distinguishable, resonates from the other end of the room and sees how her presence bounces like a kite in the wind. You look in the direction of her gaze to find the person she seeks, ultimately having Wonwoo being dragged by the wrist, his hair sweeping the swift breeze of her force.  You were a bit relieved to see him, someone who is more similar to you in ways you’d never willingly admit.

You feel the urge to approach, curious how he’ll handle this one, but intentions all change of a brisk move, changing setting immediately. One second Gina looks up at him with doe eyes that speak longing and ache, another second her arms are looped around his neck and she pulls his lips against hers, massaging against them naturally as if rehearsed. Your feet stop, watching the unsightly scene like it’s a car crash as if in slow motion, taking you only a second to realize he hasn't yet let go.

Slowly then quickly, your chest pulls up like a marionette doll before it drops in a lump, repeating until the sound of your heart is rapidly pounding into your skull. You don’t understand it, but you don’t want to either. Swiftly, you duck back and turn your head in the other direction, having seen enough.

Then panic ensues.

People are harder to brush through than you realize. Colliding each one was like speed bumps in your way of a smooth departure. You were bound to have one person take a drunken offense to your rash movement and there it was: a subtle push that led to a spilled drink that stains the shirt of a man big enough to frighten children if he approached.

“Watch the fuckkk ya goin’!”

You don’t bother with the importance of apologizing or even acknowledging him. You realize it too late when he pulls at your collar back towards him, strangling you at the throat.

“S…stupid bitch can’t even see…fucking ruin my—hic—deink”

Your hands come around his grip, attempting to pry him off. “L-let me go. The fuck?”

“The fuck you say to me piece of shi—ah!”

He finally releases you when Wonwoo appears from behind him, tossing him out like an old ragdoll with no weight. The drunkard comes crashing down to the hardwood floor and before he realizes the cause of it, said cause whisks you away with his gril looping around your wrist.

“You’re going home right the fuck now,” Wonwoo grumbles, dragging you out of other guests' way and right out of the door, once again leading you to his motorcycle. “Bike now.”

“Wonwoo, what the fuck—“

“You aren’t an idiot. You knew what was gonna happen if I hadn’t stepped in. Now get on before fee fi fo fum finds out we left.”

“I’m not getting on that death trap again!”

His glare pierces right through you. “I know you'd rather be at home than here. Especially with the probability of becoming a statistic. Get on.”

He is right for the most part and even you’re seeing through your nonsensical defiance. Reluctantly, you follow his lead, knowing he’s left you with no other choice. You endure another near death experience, this time clutching on to him less resistantly unlike last time all the way back home. It is when you’re at the foot of your door you only realize the keys that were supposed to be in your pocket but left on the kitchen counter instead.

“Shit.”

Wonwoo quickly puts the pieces together. “No key?”

You shake your head, embarrassed slightly over your feeble appearance. “No, and mom won’t be back until the morning so I’m screwed.”

“Alright. You’re sleeping over.”

You scoff looking back at him, wondering whether he’s in the right state of mind to make that call. “You’re kidding.”

“Not unless you’re okay slumbering at the footstep of your door.”

Another choice made of your hands. You discouragingly follow after him as he unlocks the door across the street. Seonwoo was evidently still home with his loafers by the foot of the door but dead asleep upstairs in bed. 

“You take my bed. I’ll take the couch,” he offers nodding in the direction of the living room.

“No thanks, I’ll take the couch.”

He groans, giving that irritated look. “Don’t be difficult and just sleep in the damn bed.”

You huff, strutting over towards the couch. “Sleep in your own damn bed, Jeon. Stop treating me like you’re my babysitter.”

He follows after you, crossing his arms like an annoyed mother, “You’re really gonna be like this?”

“I’m not being like anything.”

“You know what?” He grabs the throw pillow off the couch, “Fine. We’ll share the couch.”

“Excuse me?” Your eyes narrow back at him.

The smug smile on his face says it all, knowing there was no rebuttal to follow. “Neither of us will take the bed, we’ll both will take the couch.”

Before you can argue, he ascends the stairs for more bedding and comes back to toss you a blanket and pillow. He keeps one of each for himself, sprawling on the other end of the massive couch, gesturing you to do the exact same. Cautiously, you mirrored his image, crawling under your borrowed blanket. Despite your feet not touching, you couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the close proximity, forcing you to crunch up your legs and bring your knees close to your chest. 

Wonwoo’s eyes drop in place, nuzzling into his thick blanket. “Good night.”

“Whatever.”

He softly scoffs with a smile, basking in the silence. Meanwhile, there was you, wondering why you listened to his instructions so willingly. You sigh, your eyes glued to the ceiling counting every bump and curve of its textured surface. 

“This is stupid it’s literally 10 pm”

“Sounds like bedtime.”

You peek back at him, his eyes still closed. “You did not go to a party to plan on sleeping at 10 pm.”

“You don’t know what my plans are. Sleep now.”

“I could’ve handled it, you know,” you argue.

“I bet you could’ve,” he responds dryly. “Wasn’t gonna take that risk though.”

“I’m serious…you didn’t have to, especially since…”

“What?” 

“You know,” you take a moment to form the words, “whatever that was with Gina.”

You hear him scoff, shifting on his side of the couch. “Nothing was happening with Gina.”

You let out a parched laugh, in disbelief of the words leaving his lips. “Wow, that lie comes so easy, does it?”

“Believe what you want. It’s not what you think anyway.”

“You’re so…obnoxious,” you sputter.

“Thank you.”

“So when did that happen? You and Gina?”

He huffs hot air out of his nose.“There’s no me and Gina. I don’t know what you saw, but…it’s nothing.”

“You were kissing.”

“You could call it that.”

“For a while,” You add.

“Just enough for her to find closure.”

“And did she?”

“Saved your ass before I could find out.”

You have no response to that and you let the silence take over for a few minutes. After those few minutes, Wonwoo was the one to break the peace.

“You asleep yet.”

“No, it’s not even 11,” you answer exasperatedly. 

“Well, I'm tired.”

“Go to sleep then.”

“You should sleep before I do.”

“Why?”

He shrugs, “I'm supposed to take care of you. It’s what your mom would want.”

“Why? I'm a grown adult.”

“I don’t think an explanation is needed.”

“Ever heard of personal space?”

“Make some smart decisions and I’ll consider it.”

“You’re such a dick,” you grunt, turning away from view.

“I’m only trying to protect you.”

This shit again. You pushed yourself up from the couch to sit up, fuming in his direction. “Because your mom asked. Okay, I get it, but you’re not obligated to anymore because I’m your mom's friend’s kid. Just stop.”

“That’s not why–”

“Stop lying–”

“I’m not fucking lying,” he says matching your stance. His gaze meets yours in anguish, urging you to drop it. 

You scoff, lying back down in a sleeping position with your back turned towards him. “Whatever.”

“...Despite popular belief, I’m actually concerned about you sometimes.”

“I guess…I don't entirely find that hard to believe.”

“Thank you. It’s not like I hate you.”

“Sure,” you answer, voice basted in sarcasm.

“I don’t.” You hear his body shift back down on the couch, finding comfort between the leather cushions.

“Then why are you such a dick.”

He sighs. “Sorry.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“...Sorry.”

You ponder to yourself, wanting to turn back the clock to the earlier conversation for unknown reasons. You turn your body, seeing how his body mimics your body seconds ago, back turned, eyes closed, and facing the couch. “So if not Gina–”

“There’s no one,” he cuts off, “I mean, I'm not seeing anyone.”

It reassures you. Not that it should’ve. “Okay. I believe you.”

“Okay.”

You’re unsure when you drifted off, you only remember it being mid-conversation that your vision started to blur, followed by darkness and soon the light of the following morning. You wake up in Wonwoo’s house unexpectedly alone, quiet enough to hear the sound of a pin dropping. You enter the kitchen, parched, and you find a plate of food. You approach cautiously, catching a glimpse of the note, immediately catching on to why it was so damn empty. 

Went to get stuff done. Keep yourself entertained for a bit. - Wonwoo and Seonwoo

With an impish grin, you quickly run your fork over and over into the balanced meal and nourish your body, but slow down as your subconscious reminds you of last night's events. It wanders to your impulse to attend a party out of sheer boredom, stumbling upon an unexpected scene, before immediately trying to escape it before you are caught. The kiss becomes a scene stuck on replay, playing the image like a broken record. You did not black out, though you wish you had, considering your uncalled-for badgering of Wonwoo’s relationship status you shouldn’t have cared less about. Yet do.

You try bruising it off if you can help it, quick to leave, and relieved to find your mom home to let you in. Your day begins a new, and with a new day, she already has stuff for you to do. You’d be annoyed if you weren’t so grateful to be let back in home, remembering to grab your keys this time as you left the house again following her request for grocery shopping. 

You drink in the town for the first time since being back, questioning yourself why you hadn’t done it earlier. The block isn’t that different since you left, perhaps more greenery and flowers, but otherwise everything looked the same. Same old town, same old stores, the only thing difference was the people. Fine lines got deeper, toddlers now taller, and you now a stranger. Even the grocery store has changed managers, one adolescent bag boy at a time.

Even long finished with grocery shopping, you’re still wandering the center of town, circling in steps of the alternating tiles of the ground. For a moment, you free yourself from your thoughts, your worries, your ambitions, and live in the moment. It had been so long since you felt like this. You expected the feeling to emerge in college but that had been just another thing on your plate and suddenly you’re reminded of Wonwoo. Knowing him, he’d like this sight of you, proud to see you experience another emotion for a change.

Then your eyes flit back to the scene several meters from you. He reappears in your vision just as he has in your thoughts, only now Gina embracing him, squeezing the life out of him just as the life is squeezed out of your chest. He meets your eyes, his pupils expanding, before lightly pushing the poor girl off of him, but not in enough time to stop you from trying to escape again.

“Hey!”

You ignore him, letting your feet take you where it guides you. You’re blind to the incoming obstacles, brushing past pedestrians, shoulder everybody you meet, and you barely register the busy road before your feet make an unexpected halt. You hear the blaring honks until you’re pulled out, face crashing into their shoulder, arms coming around your in strong enclosure.

“Are you stupid? Why are you running into oncoming traffic?”

You shove him off, heart beating louder in your chest than any bike ride he’s taken you on has, and you’re seething in an emotion that you never expected to be in. Never in this lifetime at least. “Wonwoo just stop. Please.”

“I’m not doing anything. I don’t get why you’re trying to push me away.”

“I’m just sick of this. Of you. I can’t do this.”

“Why? Why? What do you think this is?”

“Just, leave me alone, Wonwoo.”

He sees you trying to walk out on him again and he doesn’t let you. Taking you by your arm, he pulls you towards him, leaving only the width of your forearm as his gaze pierces right through you, brimming with a mix of concern and utter anger. Frustration. Impatience.

If there was one thing about Wonwoo, he may have looked like he came from an anger management class, but he did manage it well. When he didn’t, your feet would feel glued to the concrete, frozen in the fire of his eyes, for once fearing what the man had to say.

“You know what? No. I’m not letting you do this? I don’t understand what’s going on or why you hate me so much–”

“God,” you groan, “it would be so easy if I just hated you.”

“Then what is it? You don’t hate me. You don’t like me. What? I’m wracking my brain trying to understand you–”

You don’t let him finish. You aren't sure what was in the breakfast you had today but you find yourself pulling him by the collar to meet his lips only to push him away in that instant, barely a whisper of his presence in your mouth. You clamp your hand over your mouth before finally treading away shocked by your actions, scurrying away.

He doesn’t follow you and you don’t blame him. You retrieve your once-abandoned groceries from the intersection to then find your way home. Rain is close to follow, drenching from head to toe. As if things couldn’t get any worse.

When you get home, you’re alone once again. The door shuts with a clang and you’re left in your self wallow, regret burning the back of your throat. Your back slid against the wood, a deep exhale expelling from your lungs. “So that’s what’s wrong with me.”

Like clockwork, you feel a knock erupt from the same door. Conceding to whatever was on the other side, you brush yourself up from the ground and turn the knob, only to be taken aback. Wonwoo, wet like made from glass with his locks swept over his head, stands before you panting. On either hand is a bundle of flowers barely protected in the cellophane it came with when he bought them and his cell phone he’s death gripping in his hand, no doubt damaged by the rain.

You blink back at him, lips parting in confusion. “Wonwoo…You’re wet.”

“Likewise.” He invites himself in and sets the flowers on a table nearby, not even for a second letting his gaze stray from yours. “You left me hanging there. Kiss a guy and walk away like he means nothing?”

You shake your head in disbelief, processing this, him. “Why are you here…with flowers?”

“I really do have to spell out everything for you, don’t I?” he responds smiling.

The squelch of his shoes trod in your direction, the invisible string connecting you two shortening. Preventing your evasion, you feel the palm of his hand against your back and your lips crash in a lingering reunion. The squeak of his slippery leather doesn't make it past your ears, distracted by the heat of his lips in the clash of the coolness of his rain-stained skin. 

Your hand crawls up his neck to press him closer, feeling the strength of his arms wrap around you tighter before shutting the front door effortlessly with his foot. He lets you pin him against the door, lips tight bound to yours, and relief settles in his stomach as you show no sign of pulling away. He finds himself whispering a word of gratitude in every language, smiling against your lips. “No more excuses…I’m not letting anyone get in the way. Not even you.”

You finally break out in a smile, brushing it against his lips before reclaiming them, not minding the wet leather.

You spend the rest of the day in each other’s company. You put away the groceries before the room temperature worked against their favor and got yourselves changed out of your rain-dampened clothes, throwing them in the dryer. Even if he lived right next door, you allow him to wear your most oversized shirt after he insisted he should, watching the cotton fabric cling to his broad shoulders with the hem just hitting him at his hip bone.

Man, he’s a large man.

“Kinda snug.”

You scoff, crossing your arms in an attempt to hold yourself back. “You can get clothes next door. You’re just a few steps away.”

He grins, approaching you. “It’s raining…I could get sick.” His long arms land on either of your shoulders, reminding you of that cat that knew too much in a childhood cartoon. “You don’t want me sick…”

“You wouldn’t get sick taking two long strides to your house, Jeon,” you respond, rolling your eyes, unable to meet his.

“But you’d take care of me if I was, right?” 

You roll your eyes, accepting his advances of a hug and feeling his chin fit in the crook of your neck. “Kiss a guy two times too many and he follows you around like a stray cat.”

He grins. “You like it. Don’t act like you don’t. You probably even like my bike and you’re not telling me.”

“Okay well, no. Those are two separate matters.”

His arms wrap around you tighter before reuniting your lips, such tenderness and sweetness in his gaze as he thumbs over the curve of your cheek. “You don’t deny that other thing.”

“I thought was already point blank. You know, when I didn’t push you away, kicking and screaming.”

“Yeah, but,” he shrugs, his cheekbones only getting higher. “Hard to come by something nice from you. I want to hear it.”

You sigh, giving in. “Fine.”

Your head fit between the divide of his chest, hearing a quickened pulse underneath it. You close your eyes as your hand strokes against his back. “I have… feelings for you. Maybe for once good feelings. Just don’t get cocky about it.”

Overwashed with calm joy, he takes you tighter, inhaling the soap in your hair. “Too late.”

[whateveriwant]

Hello, i hope you dont mind if i request agian! Could I get TF141 with an S/O who are just super prone to panic attack?

These are not meant to be taken as mental health advice. I'm just playing around here <3

Soap

The first time it happened, he didn't know what was going on. The sudden heavy breathing, the tremors, the loss of speech; he thought you were dying, honestly

It nearly sent him into a panic as he tried to figure out what he could do to help. Should you stay put or should you be taken to hospital? He just didn't know

However, once it had passed and you were able to better explain the situation, Soap was pulling you into a hug, the biggest breath of relief escaping him knowing you were going to be alright

He wasn't “happy” per se to learn this is something you struggle with regularly, but knowing there's at least something he could do to help in the future put his mind at ease

Nowadays he's got the drill down pat, so when he sees the signs an attack is incoming, he's whisking you to a safe environment where you can attempt to de-stress

Oftentimes it leads to him sitting beside you out on a curb somewhere, his warm hand rubbing soft circles into your back as he comforts you through it

Gaz

From the second he notices you start to pull away from him, Gaz is immediately on top of it, deploying a technique he's quite familiar with

“Tell me five things you can see,” he says, unbothered by having to repeat himself when you don't respond because he did not seriously just ask you that right now

But after enough prompting by him, you shakily list out five items, wet eyes darting around the room as you try to take stock of your surroundings

Once you do as bid, he'll continue, “Now four things you can hear.” And now you're starting to think you see where he's going with this

He'll work his way through all five senses, counting down to one, and once he reaches the final, you find that your pulse has slowed tremendously and your tremor has stopped entirely

Afterwards, you give him a shy thanks, asking how he knew that would work. “Simple,” he tells you. “Used to do it with my sister when we were young. It helped her then, so I thought it might help you now.”

Price

He takes the most heavy handed approach when trying to bring you down from such a rocky high. And while some people might find it smothering, you just see it as grounding

“Hey. Look at me,” his order is firm though his voice remains purposefully gentle. “Don't look anywhere else, just look at me. That's it. Just focus on me.”

If he has to, he'll even push a finger against your chin until you're meeting his eye and holding it, trying to focus on his soothing words instead of the anxious thoughts racing through your head

Slowly and deliberately, he'll breathe in through his nose then out through his mouth, guiding you to follow along with his measured pattern

If that's still not enough, he'll then take your hand beneath his and hold it over his heart, letting its strong, steady rhythm lull you back to a calmer state

“You alright?” he questions once you've settled down again. When you nod and assure him you are, he'll kiss your temple, promising, “I've got you, dear. Always.”

Ghost

When he realized what was happening with you, he quickly jumped into action, but in a way that was completely unexpected

“Remember when you first took me out for sushi and I didn't know wasabi was hot?” he asks you seemingly out of the blue. “Ate a whole spoonful before I realized. Burned like hell going down. But that was nothin’ compared to when it came out again later.”

The memory of that night stirs to life in your mind, and through your rapid breaths and trembling lips, you're able to crack the barest of smiles

He continues, “Or remember when I got sprayed by that skunk in the garden? You made me sleep on the couch for three days. Said I smelled like a garbage bin’s arsehole.”

That memory has you huffing out a short, low chuckle, and though you don't notice it, your pulse begins to hammer a little slower

And so he keeps going, distracting you with funny memories and personal anecdotes until all you're doing is smiling and laughing brightly, totally forgetting what had made you panic in the first place

[teaboot]

Hi, I'm certain this is a question answered on like a million places on the internet but i really couldn't find one, how does one start to learn to draw

Like sure practice is good but i do not know a single thing about drawing, like, kindergarten level

So what resources should i use to actually get to a point where practicing has any sense

All practice makes sense, the value of the practice just depends on what skills you hope to develop!

And when I teach art, I typically go one of two ways: Art for fun, and art for mastery.

Art for fun is easy, but limited. You can learn what looks pretty and how to imitate pretty things, and enjoy yourself and have a good time. Art for fun focuses on techniques and materials and step-by-step recipes, I'd say, more than cognition.

Art for mastery is hard, and slow, but far more versatile. It's less about your hands and more about your brain, and how you perceive visual input. You have to break down and understand the assumptions you make when you see things so you can rebuild your understanding of what you see in a way that translates to paper.

I made a longass post with examples of exercises you can try here

And the funny thing is, those "kindergarden" skills will REMAIN valuable- once you CAN draw photorealistic images, doing loose and simple doodles is a fantastic exercise, too!

But for now, a few small tips:

Draw real objects from real life. It will hone your skills better and faster than copying 2d images.

When you draw, try not to look at your hands. Glancing is fine, but try to reduce how often you do it.

Dont draw the object, draw what you SEE. This will make sense the more you practice.

Use references, don't just draw from your imagination. If you draw from enough references, eventually your understanding of things will get to the point where your imagination will have enough grounding in realistic concepts to be believable. It'll fill in gaps you aren't yet aware of and teach you how to research what you need on your own. This is how you develop an eye to identify and correct flaws in your own work, and be your own teacher.

Do the boring ass practice shit. Just do it. It sucks and most folks hate it but it will help

Hold onto the first shitty awful attempts you hate to look at because they will make you feel so good when you feel discouraged later and need a reminder of how far you've come

[elysiae]

um hey. im a little super nervous about asking this lol but, im gonna do it.

ive had this novel idea for like a year now, alright? ive listened to a lot of writing advice (not that "how to write" stuff but "how to make ur stuff effective" things for lack of better description) because i dont know how i'll execute it, ive had this one big question in my mind... but everything i listen to not only doesnt answer it, it makes it feel more out of reach.

my idea was these 4 characters being captured and taken into a super paranoid cult deep in the woods, that happens to have a serious werewolf problem. the cult picks out people they deem untrustworthy and beheads them, and it's this whole thing. it's a horror story, obviously. but thats not my problem: my problem is that i want my main characters to lie to the reader. my characters are spies, theyre after this cult because theyre suspected to be at the center of some weird shit going on with the moon. but, i dont want my readers to know this until later in the book when they finally backstab the cult after it seems like these characters have fallen for the tricks and propaganda thats being spread, with one of them even becoming one of the guardians. i want the reader to fall for their facade, too, but with more awareness than the cult. i want them to realize that there is most definitely something deeper, but, yknow. yknow how foreshadowing works.

and the thing is, my darlings are like GOOD spies, not only that theyre practically superhuman, even if i wasnt gonna include that. i was 100% going to include foreshadowing with my MCs slipping up slightly, or saying weird things, but the main problem im having is i dont know how to make my readers get attached to these characters. if i give a cover story and play it as their real backstories, won't that just upset the readers when it's revealed theyre not what they seemed? won't it feel like it was all false internal conflict? am i worrying for absolutely no reason? would people not give a fuck about it if i did lie to them for the first half of the book, as long as i executed it good enough? will they still be attached to these characters even if it's revealed they're not who they seemed (they will keep their personalities and most traits though)? (and future novels WILL be written of these guys if this ever happens, this is just like, an introduction novel, i suppose.)

my first MC is a manipulator, that's his whole thing is being a manipulator. but my second one is more straightforward, blunt, anddd not human but that isn't covered in the story, it's just hinted at. i was going to use them as my big red flag but im just. i dont want to disappoint my readers you know??? i LOVE This idea, i love my concepts and my story. i can figure out the internal conflict to reel my readers in, but im just. worried. and it might be my first ever novel? (depending on what happens, i'll probably write something less serious. probably, hopefully, my first published novel.) so i REALLY don't want to fuck it up lmao.

im just seriously at a loss. and i want opinions, from writers and readers alike, on what they think. if more information is needed i can 100% give more but its just like. can i even do it? not even just like a skill thing, is that just. something that can be done without breaking the usual structure of getting to know your characters? and god im so bad at wording but i hope this all made sense. please spread this to anyone that can give advice. i want to do this so bad but i dont want to waste my time if its something that just straight up cant be done.

[pinazee]

Daredevils!

Overall, not one of my favorite episodes but by far my favorite ending because oh boy what a gut punch of feelings!

First, look at how he set this up. There is no way shawn thought this would work so he 100% knows these kids are only there to see him crash into this kid. Also, im guessing the actor for gus was unavailable, but i like to think hes not there because he knew Shawn always intended to crash into him.

Lol what are you talking about henry? He’s got like 9 years of life here and a third of it was in diapers. Stfu

This is random, but is this the only time we’ve seen the pinball machine? I dont recall it being in later eps. I’ll have to keep an eye out now.

So far my favorite pineapple reveal. Should i start playing find the pineapple?

Shawn can read lips ✅

Probably the dumbest thing Shawns ever done. also, I’m guessing Vancouver roof tops were out of the question, cause that green screen be working real hard haha

The first time i watched this show i was in middle school, so all of the references, went completely ignored by me. Now im picking up on references ive never heard before. Like who Aldo nova is.

Gemcitabine and capecitabine are actually pancreatic cancer treatments and they even showed it correctly (the one being an IV the other a tablet) so major kudos to psych for the attention to detail.

As for the lassie sideplot. Eh. I can see what Vick was trying to say, but at the same time, if Lassie is getting complaints because he’s throwing little tantrums then Vick should have handled it instead of telling Juliet to. Plus, Lassie is the type to respect authority, so it would’ve meant more if it had come from her anyways. Though, i do find it funny that Vick told her to handle it, and Jules’ interpretation of that was “i gotta find him a date,” when she probably meant like, beat the sense into him haha i will say though, i liked the resolution of Lassie going from i don’t need your help, to please, i need your help. I think thats good growth for him, but i think it was a little sloppy in the execution. I think it could’ve been better if lassie actually did get in trouble with Vick and Lassie had to work on not letting his personal life affect work as much and make that the focus. OR, if you wanted to keep the relationship stuff, you could forgo Vick getting involved at all and keep it simple. Jules feels bad for lassie getting rejected again and tries to set him up the whole episode, then when they have that bit with the prostitute, thats when he accepts her help (because again he has terrible instincts. Like, how did he make it this far as a cop. Truly astounding.)

Wait i have the answer to this! Let me check my notes:

By this point in the series- 6

NOW ABOUT THAT ENDING! Ohmygod! First of all, one of the rare Psych ep’s that doesnt have an actual murderer or even victim. They just got swept up into a poor dying mans attempt at suicide. I love that Shawn doesn’t tell anyone and is honoring his right to die. I think thats a very bold message to make on a cable show. But i also love that hes actually really nervous because he does want to convince him not to go through with it. and then after he left, Its one of the few occasions where we can actually see him questioning if he made the right decision. You can see how much he hopes his words resonated with him enough that it saves his life. Plus it was so smart to keep the camera on Shawn to watch his reaction. It kept you in that tense moment with him so you can feel the relief shawn has when he landed the trick. Such a great scene and possibly one of my favorites in the series.

P.S this is my favorite bit lol Gus is so much funnier to me this watch. I think the first time i watched Psych i pitied him a lot, so that anytime he looked kind of foolish i just felt bad for him haha but damn, Dulé is so freaking funny

[fandomfantasyy]

MASSIVE WARNING FOR II 17 SPOILERS ++ INANIMATE INSANITY THEORY ++ ADAM KATZ TWITTER CODE SOLVING !!

i am holding onto way more hope than i should, however, this is a stray theory of mine that im holding onto for said hopes sake.

to those who haven't watched ii 17 yet, PLEASE keep scrolling. i mention just about everything that happened in the episode, and im basically reviewing it at the start. the episode is so much better without any spoilers!!

so, inanimate insanity 17. if you don't wanna hear me blabber on and on about the episode, scroll to the other big text. otherwise i am RANTING i need an outlet. 3:

inanimate insanity 17 was a rodeo. me and my partner had a few straggling theories before we watched it, and a few of them were true. knife did indeed punch cobs, they really did fight, everyone that heard was disappointed to find out they were made by mephone 4.

starting with the majority of the opening sequence, going from memory here, knife's desperation? ow. suitcase's new found paranoia? OW. them doing everything to find out what was wrong was so bittersweet, because you can just tell that they don't know how to stop it and are holding onto to random theories and hope.

nearing more of the middle section, i completely forgot that bow could possess people. made me giggle a bit tbh….. besides that, I HATE COBS HE MANIPULATED MY BABY, TOILET. ☹️ the admission of guilt from mephone 4, only to realize his apology could never speak loud enough almost killed me. lightbulb, fan, and test tube, all dead. the bright lights poly. when toilet told mepad that he understood it wasn't a competition anymore? and when cobs pulled off toilet and begun killing everyone? jesus christ dude (also im a little sad at the lack of extra pronunciation on "your" when paper yelled at salt saying "hes not your boyfriend" as a payjay shipper but....)

more on the end side, the fight convinced me for a damn while. it doesn't make sense to me how one single throw got knife extremely scuffed and chipped, but it's finneee, it's show logic!! :3 anygays. the main painful time. the pull of the plug, prompting toilet to call himself "the best assistant", the way knife put his hand on suitcase to comfort her, the way cobs SACRIFICED MEPHONE X??? dude this show is gonna make me go bonkers.

last but not least, "the show is over," and mephone 4 has no choice but to go back "home" with cobs. ow.

there are still so many questions. the eggs helped power everything, but were they fake? how did mephone 4 find the land he built inanimate insanity on? obviously it isn't fake, he's still sitting on it at the end of the episode. where's 3gs? what about mepad? was mepad made up? too much to answer with too little information.

overall, what a painful episode. it seems like the end, right? wrong.

inanimate insanity is not over. we are getting ii18.

at least, thats my theory. average movie length spans 1½ hours to 2½ hours. us inanimate insanity fans were told that this finale would be as long as a movie. right now, we are only at an hour. i dont remember the last time i watched a movie that was only an hour. they're out there, yes, but i doubt the creators would pray on very short movies to support their angst.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

season one and season three's final episodes ended with a "the end". ii17 did not have this end card. this seems like a very crucial thing that they couldn't just "leave out". after all, why on the most important finale of all of the finales so far, would they leave out saying "the end"? if it's truly the end, they wouldn't leave it with a black screen and a sobbing community. (the last part, maybe, but not the first part.....)

both season one ended with 18 episodes, and season three ended with 19 episodes. season two seems to almost be ending on episode 17. this could go either way, with season two ending with a pattern of 17-18-19, OR, if we're really lucky, 18-19-20. (or we just get an extra 18 or smth idk)

there is a reason why this is only a stray theory of mine. only 6 days before the release of ii17, adam katz and brian koch were saying their thank you's and goodbye's to the inanimate insanity community. it feels like the end of this show is near, if not sadly over now.

overall, i still have hope. but this wont be clear until we either see a ii18 trailer or we dont. i will regularly update this with new information as it gets found by me and my partner. goodbye for now, inanimate insanity community, and good luck.

robot adam's twitter saga.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". (credits to @\NickleBFDIA2012 on twitter/x !!) we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

connecting to that, more hints have already been found. there was a code on cabby's wiki that is decoded to “You want the second key word? These pages are your answer. Next, go to the three time player with the lowest average placement." (credits to @\MeesterTweester on twitter/x !!) this brought the fandom to nickel (i believe), and im not quite sure what it says.

however, i do know one thing. it's been solved, and my theory was proven true.

we will be getting episode 18 of inanimate insanity by late november.

[joanofexys]

now that youre done with school, im setting up camp here (your inbox), hope you dont mind.

soooo

i need you to yap about merrrick and jude's relationship

okay okay so,

firstly i'm so sorry i took so long to get to this i had to vist with like a million people and people kept dropping by the house for some reason to give me money

you are also so so welcome to set up camp in my inbox, you can even build a little house here if you want

anywayyyyyy Jude and Merrick

So Jude's a golden child and Merrick becomes a media darling partly because oh my god a fox went pro and they're not a complete disaster and also partly cause he's an attention whore and he ate it up once he went pro

So yeah they meet officially when Merr's 25 and Jude's 26. Jude makes court and they're eyeing Merr but ultimately decide to pass on him. He's a good player and he's good in front of a camera but any of his coaches past or present would tell them they don't think he's a good fit cause of the shit he's carrying and the pressure being court would put on his shoulders.

They had of course met in the past for college exy events but really had no reason to interact and didn't pay much attention to each other at the time

So yeah they meet when team USA is sort of eyeing Merr/scouting his still unnamed pro team and somehow ended up striking up a conversation (Jude saw Merr's tattoos and decided to compliment them and start rambling about/showing off his own). Jude asks for his number for completely professional reasons, obviously, and it largely starts with Jude texting him random shit at the weirdest times and Merrick either not responding or giving odd as shit answers because he doesn't know how to text. So Merr gets passed up on being court and Jude teTchnically has zero reason to keep in touch with him because they're actually not going to be teammates but now he's going a little bonkers. He's watching games, he's watching interviews, he's watching that one thirst trap edit that has a clip of Merr pouring water over himself after a game. He pulls back on the random texting a bit but still tells him good game and checks in regularly and well when they end up in the same area for an event it only makes sense to ask him to get coffee.

At the end of the night they end up in Jude's hotel room just sitting on the bed. Merr asks about Jude's scars, at the end of the day he's a fox, he's used to it but still curious, and Jude answers honestly. Merrick thanks him and offers nothing in return. And it's okay. A Fox and Trojan is an odd combination and for the moment they're content with what they have. Merr's glad to have finally made a friend after the foxes and well he doesn't know what Jude gets out of it but he's glad that it seems to be enough.

They go their separate ways, keep in touch sporadically, and keep a close eye on each other's careers. Team USA takes gold that year and Merr's team does well enough to keep him going and stop him from falling back into bad habits. They both tell each other good job, Jude's hand hovers over the call button, and Merr types a million sentences unsure of what he wants to say.

After that Jude has to sign with another pro team and he signs with Merr's. They're not the best team or the biggest but they're consist players, solid, and slowly working their way up the ranks. Jude has his pick of the litter and no one really knows why he chose that team when all his court teammates went on to one's with much better chances of winning but he seems happy with his choice so they don't push it.

Seeing Merrick on the court this way and how he interacts with his team is completely different from the Merrick he's seen in their brief moments of existing together. Merr's aggressive on the court, he hits hard, and in practices he doesn't tend to care much for the fact that he's often pissing off his own teammates. Off the court, in locker rooms and at team meetings he's not outright rude but he's not making any active effort to make friends and it's obvious his teammates aren't either and they've likely never tried. So Jude pushes. It starts with press duty together and they develop a good banter, a strong back and forth, and if the press adored them separately then they love them together.

It's furthered by Jude joining him for his workouts and for drills. They start running together in the morning. Jude never asks him what's wrong enough with him to have made him a fox. Merrick never brings up his scars again. They talk about movies and music and local places that Merrick has never visited and Jude is excited to see. Jude stops bringing up local bars and the club the team loves to frequent after the third time Merr goes oddly silent in the middle of a conversation.

Then Jude starts complaining about how his dog is across the country staying with his family cause the only apartment he could find at the time doesn't allow pets. Merr mentions his place does. Jude doesn't push. A few weeks later Merrick comes up to him in the locker room after practice and tells him if he wants his dog out here and can find a way out of his lease that Merr has a spare room.

So they become roommates. And they have to set ground rules. Merrick's rule number one is no substances in the house. Merr doesn't even keep over the counter pain killers, he'll call a team nurse if he needs them. Jude tells him he takes prescription medication for his adhd and depression. Merrick asks him to keep them in his room and expects that to be the end of it. This time Jude pushes. He figures he's given and Merr owes him nothing but he might as well ask if he can take a little in return. Merrick doesn't give him everything, doesn't give him much at all, but he admits he's struggled with addiction in the past. That he's been in rehab, he's clean, but he prefers not to take the risk of having anything around. That even if he's not tempted he doesn't like the reminders. Especially since he was living alone.

They fall into a routine and Jude asks for a little bit more over time. They have the same nights off so now they have movie nights. Stevie (Jude's dog) starts to join them on morning runs. She learns she likes Merrick's bed more and Merr learns that too when he's woken up by her nudging his arm one night waiting to be pet. He walks her back to Jude's room every night for a few weeks before he gives up. They switch off cooking and eventually start to cook together. Merrick will ask Jude questions. How has therapy worked for him? What does he do to cope? Has talking about things really helped? Jude answers and asks questions in return. Do you have someone to talk to? Do you need me to listen? Tell me something about you?

They become friends long before they're lovers. They like to exist together before they choose to be together. And something odd about them just works. I can't really articulate it well myself.

I don't know when they cross that line quite yet. I only have bits and pieces of what Jude learns about Merrick and when. But it all comes together, slowly but surely. Merr introduces Jude to Wymack instead of introducing him to his dad. Introduces him to Bee instead of his mom. Jude brings him home to California, they roadtrip so they can take Stevie with them and have a great time. Their team makes it to semifinals and they end up kissing on camera and falling down on the court holding each other, kissing each other over and over again. They hold hands in public and let the paparazzi take photos, they answer all the questions after games, and they make their own posts addressing it all. And it's truly time to wrap this shit up though there's much I could delve into I think and if there's any specific questions I will happily answer them but they end up as two very content dog dads to one very spoiled Stevie

[gor3sigil]

hi i dont really know how to introduce myself, so i hope you dont mind if i skip that part.

i just wanted to ask about that post you made a few days ago. in one of the last paragraphs you mention how hatching is painful. but is it supposed to feel like my entire world is cracking apart around me?

what you mentioned in the beginning of the post, about how the people around you felt about masculinity, that very aptly describes a lot of my fears of reactions to me identifying as masculine, which is what started me crying and ultimately spurred me to message you.

im just so scared

i have lots of trans people in my life, i just dont know how to talk about this with most of them (see: Very Scary :C) ive spent my whole life using femininity to take down peoples walls and help them feel comfortable around me. what the hell am i supposed to do as man? can i even still behave that way? will people even still trust me? will they like me? will they feel safe around me? its unbearable. every time i think about it my brain tries to run away, there's just so much fear.

is this normal at all? to be scared like this? i mean, considering i too struggle with the radical feminist narrative you mentioned? i dont believe the narrative, but i fear it. and then i get insecure and i cant stop thinking the insecurity an indication that manhood is the wrong direction for me.

am i making any sense?

Hi, it must've taken lots of strength to write all this so congrats to you. My answer will be based on my own experiences so take it with a grains of salt. Yeah, your world will definitely shatter too. Because even if you're just socially transitionning, if you do so while being surrounded by trans friends, most of them will change the way they percieve you so your interactions may change. I know that's scary, but you have to trust the process. If they're good friends, they won't like you less or anything. That's the hardest part I think. As you read in my post, coming ot made me lose tons of friends, most of them trans, because they treated me badly after I came out.

And yes, you are making sense. I went through the exact same fears as you. The fear of not being deemed as safe anymore. Unfortunately, I don't really have any solutions to offer you, appart from building your own community, online and/or IRL. Like I said, most of my trans friends were kinda crappy about me being masc and I struggled for years to feel comfortable in my masculinity as a result. Because I did the same as you, me being a "woman" was my way of saying that I understood the struggles of others and was safe. Let me stress one thing. You are still okay, you're not a bad person. Even if you discover new things about yourself, even if you're transmasc, even if you're transitionning (if you do), you are still very much the same person as before, with your understanding of a number of issues, with your own pas experiences.

It's a point I really can't stress enough. As I said in my post, you are still worthy of love, support, tenderness, being understood, being heard, being listened to, being comforted. One thing I noticed is that my previous friend tended to dismiss my feelings and/or be "rough" with me thinking that it was "affirming" because I was a man now. Let me tell you that that's BS and don't let anyone treat you this way.

Maybe try to test the water, idk if you came out already or not but maybe in your presentation or just by talking about transmasc specific issues with them, see how they react. That being said, I really do hope that your friends will be understanding. Or that by explaining to them how their behavior is wrong they will understand and act differently, because sometimes people so shit cause they don't know any better. I hope this helps, and I really wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out again. Take care.

[arcaneconfessions]

re: "*gets on stage, slaps papers on the floor* it would be better if Ekko remained on his beliefs that powder was gone."

YES like she very likely killed his best friend(s) he's the only person/character on the show who isnt given so much as a hint on his personal platonic life and we know she killed/kills firelights. he's been in a vigilanti army general position since he was a kid-he's still a teenager just barely a technical adult in the legal sense. him clinging onto the hope that Powpow is still in there somewhere, after she definetely killed people he cared about by choice, that all he has to do is play therapist good enough for her to get brought out. it's not healthy. when does he get to be in therapy? when does he get to have someone love him unconditionally? when does he get a safe person to be himself around? no. he has to be the perfect therapist for jinx. he has to repeatedly get blown up by her.

i understand that jinx is a mentally unwell teenager and i get that she's been made into a killing machine by her surroundings since she was a child. but Ekko isnt also in that situation? we see how jinx is desperate to nurture people (though she did parentify Isha im not holding it against her but rather acknowleging that she doesnt know how to help people) and help people. she even helps people who hate her. never once did she ever help Ekko. he always has to help her. he always has to be the one to put "their" (HIS) differences asside he's always the one who has to see the good in her. he's the one who had to innitiate the game on the bridge. where has she done that for him? in the show-in her own universe with him, WHERE has she, jinx, done that for him?

to be clear im not anti timebomb, nor am i anti Jinx, i see why people like it i dont think jinx (the concept) is bound to abuse Ekko- i just think the show mishandled it and therefore the fandom tends to follow suit. i think Ekko is treated like he's older than he actually is and is given more responsibility and less room to be a flawed hurt person than the rest of the cast- it frankly feels like the narrative had to "teach him a lesson" for having the oh so tedious uptight and "ableist" (fandoms words not mine) boundaries of "you killed people i love. you and i were friends once- i offered you a place to get away from the man ordering to kill us my found family and your own family, and you chose to stay with the murderer and kill good people i found a home with" just cause she's mentally insane. he's allowed to have complex feelings on that. but the show/season 2 forbids it.

Jinx was a child but so was Ekko.

narratively Jinx should have been the one to make ammends with Ekko it is literally in her character to want to help people even if they hate her she just really fucking sucks at it - she didn't have to be suicidal for him to give her forgiveness he didn't have to be blown up with her AGAIN (the bridge) several times. the show chose to make her suicidal because they didn't want to do the work in actually having her work on herself. if i had a nickel for every person blowing up their love interest in a suicidal threat forgiveness under duress "rEdEmPtIoN" arc i would have MANY nickels. ILL SAY IT! IT'S A LAZY HARMFUL STUPID ASS TROPE AND ARCANE SEASON ONE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN TO HAVE DEVOLVED INTO USING IT BY SEASON TWO. i don't hate timebomb in it's entirety it can be good i don't hate jinx i just really fucking hate this trope. i know what it's like to feel like you're beyond repair and you need to "go" and i also know that feeling this way doesn't make things better and people shouldn't feel like your blood is on their hands if they don't give you another chance THATS why i hate the trope. what is this going to do to Ekko who already has the inevitable survivours guilt that comes with leading the firelights who she killed why did the show have to teach him a lesson?????? AAAAAAAAA

i sound like a broken record dont i.. IM LOOSING IT MAN I REALLY AM.

the au episode was cute. i just hate how it was used to force Ekko through basically being punished and taught a lesson by the narrative god for "not giving jinx a chance" or "not accepting jinx" jinx is very much capable of making amends she's allowed to try

Jinx is not real, NO ONE IN THE SHOW IS REAL they chose to make her suicidal TO BE FORGIVEN because they, the writers, didn't want to put in the work. don't get me started on [REDACTED] fucking doppleganger ass season.

[REDACTED]

Im so sorry mod i know i got unhinged. I KNOW THIS IS TOXIC WASTE OF AN ANNON POST and to anyone reading i dont think you're a bad person for liking ANY of the characters or liking the season- you have your reasons, i just have no one irl to discuss this so im still in the stages of grief.

.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hiiii. I just read your answer to 🕰️ anon's question, and although i dont know 🕰️ anon's questiono or anything like that, you're closing statement really made me wonder, what would happen if the BSD Cast met a Guiding Light that was like.....a user of drugs (namely weed-) and alcohol not enough to be called an addict, but more often than "just doing it for fun" if that makes sense. like they dont need it to survive but they smoke weed usually once a day or something similar (So basically a stoner guiding light that also uses alcohol as well-) but GL is careful enough to make sure they arent considered a substance addict. And the reason GL does it is bc it makes them feel better about themselves (like GL's probably traumatized and victim blames themself and being high and drunk stops them from thinking that way or like totally distracts them from it all together or something, like a coping mechanism thats what therapy is for, dearest guiding light). And GL also like kinda was a sorta bad person while high and drunk? You said that if GL is distant or apathetic or short tempered or selfish that the BSD Cast wont abandon them, but what if they meet a GL whos a substance user and is, say, short tempered, or distant, or selfish or just a bad person in general BECAUSE of the substances that GL uses? (i hope that im making sense, english IS my first language, but im autistic and have always struggled to get across what im thinking, so this might make 0 sense to anybody else reading it other than me-). Youre last statement had me thinking this, and if it makes 0 sense im so sorry-

Don't worry, you have made the perfect scene.

In short, BSD Cast won't abandon Guiding Light in this case. They won't leave them in such dangerous situation.

Warning: Drug use, Alcohol, English is my second language

If Guiding Light became a bad person under the influence of substances, BSD Cast will do only one thing - Therapy.

They will bring GL to therapy and will help them to get rid of the urge to drink/do drugs.

They will see, that GL have problems/borderline addiction. And they will do everything in their power to help them.

There will be precocious, of course.

BSD Cast will keep kids in a distance from GL and will make sure, that GL aren't stealing from the house.

They will control, how much alcohol GL drink and will make sure, they didn't do drugs.

BSD Cast won't budge, no matter, how much GL beg.

BSD Cast won't be against GL having bad habits, but they will do everything to help GL get rid of the addictions.

They will be GL's support during hard days of recovery.

[good4hughes]

i miss you im sorry: luke hughes x adelaide hunter

in between by gracie abrams

but make it about luke and el!! this is just gonna be short little excerpts about the childhood friends x lovers :) ( who then become strangers… back to friends then back to lovers.) but we are not discussing that rn :p

these excerpts correspond with the lyrics in the song obviously which is probably obvious but yolo. i hope you guys enjoy :)

“I just can't come between 'em,

they got their own thing.

luke and adelaide’s relationship is very special. the pair are the only people who understand each other. they have unmatched chemistry, their mothers have always sensed the duo would end up together. no one could ever get in the couples way. (someone/things do/did..)

I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring,

For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two.

as sooon as the pair got phones luke and adelaide were always texting and face-timing. jack would make jokes about how quickly his younger brother would answer, not even letting his phone get to a second ring. that became lukes thing, always answering el as fast as he could because who knows what could be happening to the blonde girl. (one day el stops calling, and even if she would call he wouldn’t let it get to a second ring.)

Two hearts just fallin' in and out of

love for somethin' new.

adelaide knew she liked luke in 5th grade. it took luke til 6th grade to realize he liked el, only because quinn was picking on him for it and told him how noticeable it was from the 4th grade. the pair knew it was love the summer before junior year. they couldn’t have fallen out of love right? (to them it seemed like it, to everyone else they knew love was still floating around.) they did fall out of with plenty others though, they just wanted something new, someone to get their minds off each other.

I wish that you could see 'em,

their faces lighten up.

whenever adelaide sees luke, her eyes sparkle and everything just stops. no one else gets ade’s eyes that sparkly. whenever luke sees el, nothing else feels right. he feels comfort and home when he looks at her. their faces both lighten up, seeking that warm comfort homely feeling they get from each other. but the two dont notice that at all, even with everyone saying something they just dont realize it.

Their past is cold and empty, they know it’s been enough.

Of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn’t care.

the pair both have/had many fair shares of unhealthy relationships and heartbreak. they both made each other realize how those people were never good for them. luke and el both needed to understand their worth and that they they are deserving of someone better. which was each other, they were made for each other and everyone else knew that except them.

But he knows her name, she

knows he’ll always be there.

this really isn’t abour luke knowing adelaide’s name. he truly knows her. luke always took his time to understand adelaide. el had felt unloveable, but luke had changed that. the youngest hughes brother always ALWAYS listened to el. he never made up assumptions or showed that he didnt care about her unlike her past relationships. luke was the only person ade cared about. he truly cared about her. luke understood her well being, and didnt use her for her body, unlike past people.

He laughs at her eyes, at her smile,

at the glasses on her face.

luke just finds the whole girl beautiful. he cant help but laugh when he notices the little things el does. she only does them because of him. the blonde used to wear glasses when she was younger, luke would pick on her in a joking manner. he never ever wanted to make el upset ever. (he ends up doing so. but she ends up hurting him as well. a win win?)

She loves how he talks late at night,

when there's no one else to say

el is insecure and luke offers her the assurance and words of affirmation she needs to be at peace with herself. el doesn’t feel like she has anyone to depend on, to support her in times of need. but realizing it now, she does. luke is her safe haven.

How she's beautiful and funny and

smart like nothin' he's ever seen

luke has never met a girl like adelaide. she’s always just so bubbly and doesnt need to pretend to be something she’s not. the curly haired boy always thought she was the most beautiful girl ever. her personality was perfect, and she was way beyond smart even if she never showed it to anyone else.

He's good to her and she wants

it more than everything in- between

adelaide didnt want no one else, she only wanted luke hughes. ade just wanted everything in- between, not wanting to make those same decisions, like her past unhealthy relationships that have ended in heartbreak and trauma. el has a desire for someone who is good to her. it took some time but she finally accepted of a purer love, rather than her previous toxic relationship cycles. and she realized luke is really good to her and hes the only thing keeping her a float.

She toes the line between 'em,

he says he’s new at this

ade follows the basics of a relationship, being as though she was new at this not using to having a soft relationship. luke was very understanding about this and always took his time with the girl. both of them were very understanding about each other.

There's holy ground beneath them,

and sparks fly when they kiss

two taylor songs!!!

Holy Ground, from luke’s pov, he sees it about a whirl wind relationship that is full of memories. which he adores. he loves how much the pair works. the two still care about one another. Sparks Fly, from adelaide’s pov, is about the first stages of having a crush on luke. also the first time the two kissed, they both felt these very strong sparks. which always come out when they kiss. they seem to have never gone away. the two songs could also reflect on how the couple treated each other.

He hates it when she's crying,

he hates when she's away

luke hates hearing the girl cry. he remembers one time at the lake house, adelaide cried on her birthday because her parents werent gonna be there. the blonde cried so much that day, luke did everything to keep her happy. he never wanted to be the reason adelaide hunter was crying. (he had made her cry. one few many times…) he also hates being away from the girl. they would always spend hours in each others dorms, working on homework or just watching movies. mainly enjoying each other’s company. (it was hard to leave UMich because he just wanted el there with him everywhere.) luke wouldn’t admit he was clingy towards el, but his friends would constantly remind him how he was, also the boy knew he was.

Even at their worst, they

know they'll still be okay

el and luke never fought. the couple always communicated how they felt or if they were going through anything. (one day that just stops and they both start fights just because of stress.) even if they would fight, the pair would know they would be okay. nothing could ever get in the way. el got frustrated with luke at points yes, vice versa but they both loved each other so much to let any fights through. (they end up having a big fight and break up…)

if you guys wanna see any of these scenarios lmk! even the (crossed out ones!!) i want to write ade and luke more soo whatever you guys wanna see pls just let me know!! i hope you guys are enjoying this :)

[formulapookie]

Bezzetti and "Guess i was never enough for you" but please, i am begging you, dont make it a sad ending, my heart can't take that 😭❤️ (obviously, no pressure, write what you feel like, this is your writing etc)

They don't argue.

Never.

Not because they never disagree, but simply because they always manage to solve discussions before they turn into something ugly.

Something like this they're going through right now.

"Why do you care so much who I hang out with? It's not like I go and fuck them Marco for god's sake!"

"You go around with that one all the time, ALL THE DAMN TIME when I'm not there he's constantly attached to your hip, how do you think it makes me feel?"

"You don't raise your voice at me, ok? And I can have friends, or have you gone mental? Have I ever been jealous of you and Pecco? Huh? You guys spend more time together than we do, and we're together Marco, boyfriends. Yet you stay with Pecco the majority of the times"

"Well it's easier for me to do it! He's up there with me in MotoGP and we have the same calendars and timesheets, you are not, I can't constantly be there, but you know that guy likes you, you know perfectly well he has a crush on you and you STILL go with him"

Bez realizes one second too late he's fucked up.

He's up there with me in MotoGP.

It echoes in Cele's ears and brain, it takes a poisonous edge and cuts a wound deep in his heart.

You are not.

It's all in slow motion, the way he can hear his heart crack a little, the way he sees Bez walking close to him to hug him.

He pushes Bez's hand away, looking in is eyes and it's all blurry, tears at the corner of his eyes threatening to come out in a flow.

He knows he's not up there yet but he can - he can still make it right?

He won last week, he showed them he can do it still, he did right?

He showed Bez too. That he was worthy that - that the people telling him he should go and be a mechanic were wrong.

He's trying to prove everyone he deserves to be up there, with them.

But Bez just - he just made it all crumble like a castle of cards with a breath of wind.

"Guess I was never enough for you then" Cele is speaking impressively without sobbing, despite the tears keep on falling.

"Pecco is uh he's the champion no? He's great, he's the winner, the one you look up to. He's important and he surely makes a better everything than me"

"No Cele no please listen to me I never meant it in that wauy I just - I wasn't thinking ok I'm not saying I enjoy his company more because of who he is, I just meant we obviously spent time together more easily because of schedules but I would never ever think of replacing you"

"But you could. With Pecco you could celebrate victories basically every weekend, and not have to trail behind my failures every time"

"I don't give a fuck about celebrating victories Cele, nothing, especially if you're not there I don't care. i just. I don't like him being that close to you because he's got a crush as big as the sun for you and I fear you'll see something in him that will make you go away"

"What would I see in someone else making me date them when I have you Marco?"

"Anything?"

"Oh come on you seriously think I'd choose someone else over you?"

"You told me I would. That I'd choose Pecco"

"Because you have a reason to do it! He is so much greater than I'll ever be Marco, I - I don't want to be the reason why you need more, I want to be the reason why you don't need anything else"

"I think you've got a concussion because you're not making sense. you are irreplaceable, I would never choose someone who's not you to love, you give me everything I can hope for and more. Pecco is my best friend yes, and I love him, but not how I love you, I don't want to be with Pecco, I want to be with you. You were always more than enough amore"

Cele feels a bit stupid now, because how could he doubt Marco when that boy came to pick him up at a bus station when it was pouring and Cele had forgot the umbrella and brough along sweaters and blankets to make him feel warm? When that boy overcame his fear for spiders and threw one out the house instead of killing it because Cele told him it'd be sad to do?

"I'm sorry I dodn't want to be a weight again"

"Amore. Cele. You are never a weight ok? If you don't like me being so close with Pecco I'll distance myself, he'll get it we're grown ups."

"No it's not. i don't want you to distance yourself just - spend more time with me? When you can? Please"

"of course. I'll make sure to use every free second I have to be close with you ok?"

"Ok"

"And never think again you're not worthy of something ok? You are worthy of the entire world amore"

ANGST ALPHABET (send me a ship and a letter and I'll write it)

[microcosmiclymbic]

I don't even know what to say or how to recap

Officially broke up with 🍄

Though I forgot to reiterate that I need physical intimacy to happen on my timeline

I told him about how he raped me. Id almost forgotten about it. And I guess everything clicked for him. Cause he didn't try and deny it at all. He immediately accepted it and was like "oh fuck"

And apparently that made everything make sense. That otherwise all my actions have been me overreacting or "didn't make sense" but honestly who the fuck cares why I need boundaries or am unstable. That "i won't bother you about your sign anymore" (on my door that says "Text or Discord"). Like what???? My sign still deserved respecting no matter what!

We've both been feeling gaslist. And walking on eggshells which is hilarious. But I finally can really see his perspective more clearly. And yeah it makes sense. I'm fucking crazy as hell and it takes a specific kind of person to navigate that unscathed(namely one that's done some of their own trauma work lolol).

Towards the end we talked about me being unsafe a lot. What that means. Why that's really hard on him to live with. Why it's unfair on me to have to life somewhere I feel unsafe. He felt really uncomfortable with there being "text proof" of my unsafety on discord in a message he sent me. Apparently people have suggested to him that if something happened to me it would obviously be him and I'd have a better legal case against him. And I'm just like lololol. At least he has the decency to know it was highly unlikely I'd do anything.

And then I told him I wanted the relationship to end. And went on to say I wanted to still talk about what we both wanted out of a relationship and better consent/commit to what we were getting into. Because there was expectations on the relationship that I didn't realize were there and putting pressure on me. And I think his brain switched off for a moment after I said breakup cause he didn't respond to anything but that after a moment.

With telling me I should move out. Part of the unsafety convo about was here too. Because he felt i needed to go somewhere I was safer. And he wouldn't charge me rent. And he wouldn't buy weed for me anymore. Or make/share meals anymore. Or generally help me out beyond to help me physically move. And just....oooooooof. Asserted that it was primarily because I felt unsafe that he would ask me to leave. Even tho it literally wasn't until I broke up. Because apparently "well if you were still in the relationship then clearly you felt safe enough and you're just deescalating which means you're saying I'm an unsafe person and-"

I almost broke down. Quickly texted 💪 about it. But as I was doing that also like going wtf??? You literally promised that even if we broke up you wouldn't do that??? Like this is literally the safest place I have where am I gonna go? Back to eli??? Fuck it I'll be out in 3 days. And then he started backpeddling and being like "well you don't have to go immediately, just soon." Almost 2hrs into checkin at this point.

-edit-

We talked a bunch more after that. It's hard to hold it all. At the end of the convo we both felt better about it all. Ended with this Self Love game he got, that took an hour of the time itself. It was good tho.

-edit-

Anyways. Then we took a little bit of time away from each other. Then smoked and watched E&K together. Affirming the hope that we both felt.

I am so very tired. But we got there. I can't believe i actually navigated this situation so well to get us here. Oh gods the labor. Gods I am so tired. But we did it. This place might get safe again.

Though. I'm still moving out

We are the perfect unhealthy mix and I dont have the capacity for living like this. The good times are not worth the bad

I need so much recovery

[underratedandoverit]

kip tries to text penelope about his crush on oc, but he accidentally texts oc instead and now oc knows exactly what kip likes about him

~3k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

i dont have the brains to edit this rn but i wanna post something since i finished this and its been a hot second so. i might come back to edit this a tad later but for now it is what it is apart from that the only warning is that kip says fuck twice in text messages so. theres that lol

just something cute and fluffy for a change yay. because kip is an idiot and i think its adorable. the prompt basically says it all lmao

on ao3

@stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

---------------------------

Laying in the hotel bed, Kip was barely awake, but sleep just refused to claim him. He had been tossing and turning for what felt like hours now, honestly annoying him to no end. Kip could feel his eyelids very heavy over his eyes, his whole body was tired and ready to fall asleep, but something was keeping him up tonight.

Tonight. Just like almost every night. Maybe that’s why he was so annoyed by it, because it was such a recurring thing. The thoughts kept coming back to him time and time again, night after night, every time he was almost asleep he could see a vision of the blond flash before his eyes, almost startling him back to the side of consciousness.

When Kip promised to both himself and Orange Cassidy that he would not rest until he got that International title belt in his grabby little British hands, he didn’t mean it as literally as his whole body and mind was obviously taking the statement.

With a sigh Kip rolled to his side, barely opening his eyes as his lazy hand reached for his phone on the nightstand, squinting at the screen as it lit up with a push of a button, revealing the time to him. It had been an hour since he had gone to bed, which was still a lot longer than he had been hoping for. Kip inhaled deeply, dropping the phone from his hand next to his pillow, trying to close his eyes again for at least a moment of sleep, no matter how restless.

Soon enough the darkness behind his eyelids were occupied with the events of tonight instead. Kip had been backstage, just watching the show tonight, witnessing once again Cassidy successfully defending the title against an opponent that Tony Khan had seemingly pulled out of a bag filled with random names. Kip had to wonder though if his name was in that bag as well and he was just unlucky enough to never get called up into action against the champion, but at the same time he didn’t mind.

He enjoyed watching the champion. Observing him. His every move, every hand brushing through that hair, the intensity in his bright eyes as he focused on overcoming the increasingly difficult obstacles in his opponents. Every land of the Orange Punch, every pin he made, every victory celebration after another. Week in and week out, Kip liked watching him succeed.

…Of course, for his own personal gain only, that was obviously the only reason. There were no other thoughts going on in his head, he never reflected the rare smile on the champion's face with his own, Kip never wished that he could go up to him after a successful match to congratulate him, to hold… No, shake his hand, to tell him that Cassidy did a good job.

…That Kip wanted him to do more than just that, as he had already done a very good job against him.

No, Kip would never do such things. Never.

He groaned, still annoyed as now he definitely couldn’t shake Cassidy from his mind. Kip might have had a better chance of winning this war in his head if he just admitted to what he wanted, but at the same time he just couldn’t bring himself to do such a thing. He had managed to mask it behind just wanting to get his hands on the title so far, and that had been working in his favor, more or less – at least in the sense that nobody questioned him about why he kept haunting Cassidy so mercilessly, when he was back in the back of the line for another title shot. Kip could just claim he wasn’t planning on giving up so easily, and people would buy it, and that would be it.

Well, in a sense it was true. He wasn’t giving up, or at least his mind wasn’t, but it wasn’t about the title anymore.

It was only about the champion himself.

Rolling on his back, Kip forced his eyes open, staring up at the dark ceiling. Sleep obviously wasn’t coming to him, so in the dark his hand patted for his phone, picking it up, scrolling up his contact list. As soon as he spotted Penelope’s name he clicked the messaging button, beginning to type.

‘I can’t sleep. Wyd?’

Kip stared at the three little dots very quickly forming on the screen, signaling for her typing. Soon a message popped up on the screen, much to Kip’s delight. At least he hopefully wasn’t going to have to deal with these thoughts alone tonight.

‘Nothing much. Was just gonna crash.’

As Kip stopped to ponder how he was going to present his thoughts to her, another message popped up.

‘This isn’t a booty call, is it?’

He chuckled, shaking his head a little, beginning to type.

‘No, I just wanted to talk.’

Kip stopped again, quickly typing again before Penelope had a chance to respond yet.

‘I can’t stop thinking about Clementine. I feel like I’m losing my mind.’

Maybe a bit over the top, but Kip was known for his flare for the dramatics, and they had talked about this with Penelope before, his… Supposed crush, as she liked to refer it to as, on Cassidy, so the wording felt appropriate to him. After all, it was keeping him up at night, multiple nights a week at this point, putting him in a state that he wasn’t quite sure what he was going through.

As Penelope took a while to start responding, Kip began to type again. He was hoping she was just giving him space to talk as she didn’t outright tell him no or that this wasn’t an appropriate time for this conversation, as she was usually very straight forward when it came to that kind of stuff.

‘Every time I see him I can’t stop looking at him. I want him to stare at me with those intense eyes of his again, but not as opponents in the ring, but as something more. I want him to run his hand through my hair like he does his own. Fuck I want those hands on me just in general. I can’t stop thinking about the things he would be so good at doing with them. It fucking keeps me up at night like… I think I’m going insane. He makes me go insane.’

He almost regretted the paragraph of text right after hitting send, but as the mark of it being read appeared on his screen, Kip had no place for such feelings in him anymore. He read the lines over a couple of times while waiting for Penelope to process everything and to reply back to him, nodding his head along his own words in approval. Those were the things he had been thinking about tonight, all of those about Orange Cassidy, and then some Kip wasn’t quite sure he should just pour onto her without any warning. This was already a lot, though Penelope did know quite many of them already, but still. He had to draw the line somewhere and keep the rest of his thoughts private in his own mind, where he could just as easily imagine Cassidy doing all the things he wanted him to do when Kip closed his eyes.

Kip was almost startled out of his thoughts as his phone suddenly pinged, signaling Penelope finally responding back to him. Kip’s eyes narrowed a little at the message as he read it, Penelope asking if he wanted to talk face to face about it, and asked for his room number. Maybe he had revealed a little bit too much this time, but at least Penelope wasn’t telling him to shut up and just go to sleep.

He quickly texted her back the room number, watching Penelope send back a thumbs up emoji. Kip dropped the phone from his hand, reaching with it for the light switch for the lamp next to the bed, shielding his eyes with his free hand as he managed to turn it on. Pushing himself up from the bed, Kip double checked that at least the shorts he had chosen to wear were decent before picking up the hoodie he had worn earlier in the day and just thrown over the back of the chair, quickly pulling it over his exposed upper body. He didn’t need to dress fancy or perfectly for just Penelope, but some decency was in order at least.

Kip brushed his hand through his hair a few times, trying to get rid of the possible bedhead he had managed to gather while tossing and turning in bed, walking into the bathroom to make sure in the mirror that he looked decent. As the lights flickered on in the room, he winced a little at his reflection; Kip was very well aware he was dead tired, but for some reason he hadn’t expected that to reflect on the way he looked on the outside. He had gotten rather good at cleaning the makeup after shows now so the dark circles were definitely not smudged eyeliner anymore.

With a sigh he quickly ran the faucet, splashing his face a few times with cold water in hopes of looking a bit more alive. In his head Kip quietly cursed that dastardly Orange Cassidy, keeping him awake at night like this, making him sleep deprived and looking like hell against his own will. Without being there in person doing that to him himself. What a coward.

Kip jumped a little at the sudden knock on his door, peeking his head out of the bathroom as if to confirm that he had heard the noise correctly. It repeated after a short while, Kip turning off the lights before exiting the bathroom, making his way to the door. He flipped the lock open and pressed the handle down, pushing the door open.

And getting face to face with Cassidy standing in his doorway.

Kip stared at him for a moment, the blond looking back at him equally silently, observing him from behind the sunglasses. Kip didn’t even think it was odd that he was wearing them inside at the dead hours of the night; as far as he was concerned, Cassidy probably even slept with them on. The only time they came off was inside the ring.

“So, uh,” Cassidy was the first one to break the silence, Kip just blinking blankly back at him. “Can I come in or…?”

Kip’s mind was reeling, but his tired body was working wonders for him, his feet shuffling him away from the doorway to allow the blond entrance into his hotel room. Kip knew rationally that he was waiting for Penelope, but at the same time, Cassidy was here now. Maybe Penelope had ran into him on her way, just deciding to send Cassidy his way instead to help solve this dilemma that Kip was clearly having. Maybe this had been her plan all along, the moment she asked for his room number, Penelope was just planning on giving it to Cassidy to send him over. Or --

Kip suddenly drifted back from his thoughts as he felt a presence very close to him, blinking his eyes to bring himself back to reality as Kip registered that Cassidy had stepped right up to him, standing directly in front of him. Kip froze up, not being sure what to expect from him, as Cassidy carefully untangled his hand from the door handle, proceeding to push the door shut again before his eyes slowly dragged back to Kip, the Brit feeling his face heating up against his will as he watched Cassidy pull the sunglasses from his face, with almost scary precision throwing them onto the bed across the room with just a flick of his wrist.

“So what was the other thing you wanted?” Cassidy asked as his eyes locked onto Kip’s, the Brit just staring wide eyed back at him, feeling his heartbeat rising, the pounding ringing in his ears. This was way too close to the message he had sent to Penelope, had she ratted him out to the man himself?

Kip opened his mouth, but closed it again, being both aware of what he was supposed to answer but also not being sure if he should say anything. Cassidy just looked at him, without breaking eye contact fishing his phone from his pocket, only briefly looking away from Kip to check something on the screen, a soft smile tucking the corner of the blond’s lips.

“Oh yeah,” he muttered to himself, nodding a little as he put the phone away again. Kip could barely breathe for a moment before Cassidy established eye contact again, locking Kip back in place with that mesmerizing look – the Brit just barely avoiding the hand that Cassidy extended his way, breaking Kip out of his spell as he stumbled a few steps back.

“Wha-what are you doing? Why are you here? What do you want?”

Cassidy looked at him, slowly lowering his hand down, stuffing them into his jeans pockets. Kip’s eyes unintentionally followed his hands now that there was some distance between the two of them, him swallowing thickly as he noticed the waistband of Cassidy’s boxers under the jeans showing. It wasn’t unusual for him, but at the same time this wasn’t the kind of a moment Kip wanted to be caught observing his underwear.

“Wasn’t this what you wanted? You said you wanted to talk, among all those other things. Right?”

Kip looked at him for a moment, his eyes slowly drifting away from him towards the phone still sitting in his bed. So Penelope had ratted him out actually, probably forwarding all the messages to Cassidy to put Kip in this position where he finally had to deal with all of this himself.

“So I’m here to… I don’t know,” Cassidy shrugged, his eyes following Kip’s towards the bed, the Brit’s face flaring up an even brighter color of red as he saw from the corner of his eye Cassidy observing the bed as well. Kip didn’t need to think any further to figure out what Cassidy was thinking. “Talk. Or do the stuff. Or whatever.”

Kip didn’t reply to him, instead he quickly moved over to the bed, grabbing his phone into his hand, popping the previous messages open, beginning to furiously type his distaste of this situation to Penelope. As soon as he hit send on the message, he could hear a faint sound coming from elsewhere in the room, that a quick glance around it revealed it had come from Cassidy’s phone, the blond raising a brow at his screen in confusion before looking back at Kip.

“…You do know you’ve been texting me this entire time, right?”

Kip blinked, eyes slowly falling back onto his phone, finally actually looking at the name of the receiver of the texts he had been sending tonight. He was so sure he had clicked on Penelope’s name, but much to his horror, the name on the receiver line actually did read ‘Orange’. Kip quickly backed out of the messages, double checking his contact list; unsurprisingly but absolutely disappointingly, both Penelope’s and Orange’s names showing right next to one another on the list.

He had accidentally clicked the wrong one while in his sleep deprived state earlier.

The horror slowly dawned on him, revealing to him what he had actually done. The things he had said. The feelings he had revealed. Kip slowly took a seat at the edge of the bed, throwing the phone to the side as he hid his face into his hands, letting out a pained groan filled with disgust and discomfort as it settled in how this whole situation probably looked like to Cassidy.

And the worst part about that was that everything Kip said he did actually mean.

“…Hey.”

Kip’s hands dropped from his face, but he refused to look up at Cassidy who had walked up to him, stopping in front of him. With a sigh Kip prepared to hear the berating that was rightfully coming his way, but instead he suddenly felt a hand softly brushing through his hair, gently tucking it to make him follow the movement, looking back up at Cassidy, who just softly smiled back at him.

“Did you mean… All of that?”

Kip could feel his face heating up, but he just couldn’t look away from that pair of beautiful blue eyes of his. Cassidy’s hold of his hair was so lax Kip managed to nod slightly, still a bit hesitant, but if Cassidy had indeed seen the messages in full already, there was no reason for him to lie about it. The worst he could do was make fun of him, laugh at him, leave Kip hanging after such a nonconfession. Which he probably deserved and at least it would make it so much easier to forget about the desires he had for the International champion.

But instead Cassidy just hummed at him quietly, a small smile playing on his lips as he carefully ran his hand through Kip’s hair again before positioning himself in his lap, surprisingly to both of them without any resistance. Cassidy’s hand slid out of his hair to the back of his neck, his fingertips dancing along his skin while the other arm lazily rested over his shoulder. Kip’s awkward hands found themselves on Cassidy’s thighs, his nervous energy coming out with little taps of his fingers against them.

“I think I can make you a little bit more insane, if you wish.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper, Kip just responding silently with another nod before Cassidy leaned closer, pressing a soft, slow kiss against his lips.

[olderthannetfic]

I hope you dont mins me asking

But how would you suggest the best way to not be so anxious in fandoms these days.

It just seems like im going to be bullied out of fandom for even wanting to be in fandom. Regardless of the kind of content i like or how i like it. Its just seems like people who are in fandom dont want to themselves and not really about older or newer fans not wanting more new fans... Just.. They dont want fandom to exist at all anymore. If thta makes sense

Ive been in fandom for years but only recently bacame an adukt and now i really wanna start getting more involved.. I recently started a series oneshot fic thats gonna take alot of time.. But i havent even posted an actual chaoter yet and i am so afraid of gettijg a bunch of shit for it.

Its not meant to be anything explicit infact i made it very sfw bexause thats what i wanted.

But what of someone decides hey fuck you this sucks and now im going to make up reasons that your fic is (ableist, racist, homophobic stuff like that). And i just... I want to write.

Years ago i was in a much older fandom(transformers g1 if you can believe it) and it was so nice there. Maybe its because i was young but theres wasnt nearly so much anti bullshit that there is now especially in newer fandoms.

I know theres like block and ignore and delete comments but... I dont want to deal with it. And i probably know there isnt realky anytjing i can actually do about it

Its just so bad. I want to participate in fandom, but fandom is so terrible these days. Ive seen so many of my favorite artists fucking dissapear over being bullied for something they said years ago thats now considered "worthy of being tortured alive" for saying.

I just want it all to stop. I thought fandom would get better as it became more popular. Artists would have more freedom and stuff.

Instead im afraid im going to get bullied for a fucking teen rated gen fic with zero shipping, zero dark theme, and zero sex on the off chance someone thinks its not good enough. Suddenly its not appropriate for teenagers for some dumb reason

When i fucking was one two years ago. (like mate i was reading robot porn at ELEVEN)

Im so tired. I think the only good thing about the fandom im in is the fact the creators of the media are actually super chill and even supportive about fans selling fanworks and comms of characters and stuff

This was supoosed to be a simple question but ig im just so sick of how fandom is that i ended up ranting about it.

--

Getting more popular makes things much worse, not better.

But overall, anxiety is about you and your internal emotional state.

There was always danger of being attacked. It looks different now, but fear isn't more or less justified in the present day. The actual level of danger isn't the issue here.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“What hair product I think each svt member is”

Summery: a holiday fic that has absolutely nothing to do with the holidays! Wanted to try my hand at writing something a bit different and thought this was a good idea to start. Not really comedy but amusing none the less! (idk if what I wrote makes sense hopefully yall are picking up what I’m putting down) approximately: ten minute read

A/n: THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEA! (In a way it is buuuutttt still) I can’t find the author who wrote the “what piece of furniture svt are” or something to that effect so they’re the ones who gave me the idea so if yall find them please tag them unless I do first!

warningz/info: mentions of pain, mentions of chocolate, I think what, three curse words? y'all let me know if I should start keeping them to a minimum or remove them entirely because I know some people are uncomfortable with them! I feel like the spacing between paragraphs is weird in this fic but oh well. no idea how this is gonna go over and im scared that I tagged it with "x reader". plus I dont know if anyone would read/enjoy it but I had loads of fun writing it! as always, if you did like it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper. This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

•••••••••••••••••••

>Seungcheol<

gel. Sticks to you like glue once you find each other (romantic music starts playing in the hair care isle when you pick up your favorite gel) everyone has their preferred brand/ look they worship. Thicc. Either smells putrid and chemical like or good enough to transport you to a magical land of chocolate, pink grass and purple clouds

>Jeonghan<

he is a Bobby pin. And I will provide no further explanation on this except that he holds you together but will stab you lmao

>Shua<

an Afro pick/ hair pick. Its what everyone’s looking for: that little somen’ somen’. That little poof we all desire. Also scalp massages :)

>Jun<

wide tooth comb. My fellow thick haired/ curly haired people will know about this one 😭 this shit can be mean to your scalp tugging on your hair and UGH helps you greatly and is a necessity but damn… that’s all I gotta say

>Hoshi<

Refresher product/ moisture product. wakes you up in the morning. Gives you a reason to NOT look like you just rolled outta bed even though you did. For most this is one ofthe holy grails in life. What would I do without it? Makes us all smile even at 4:00 am because oh my god I look better after I slapped this in. Just all around a day-brightener

>Wonwoo<

curl cream. Grounding. Has many different looks n stuff

>Woozi<

a rat tail comb. Everyone should have one. Versatile, used for many different things. Good for every sort of job and is a natural to be honest and is small but mighty lol

>DK<

a satin/ silk bonnet. And no, not one of those that most  moms wear with the lace trim. Those end up at the foot of your bed by the morning. The ones with the thick elastic. I choose this cause it goes by many different names, just like him lol just has that comfy homey feel to it

>Mingyu<

hair mask. Made at home with some questionable ingredients. Seriously sometimes I don’t think he’s real lol 

>Hao<

a denman brush. It sounds to helpful and great. And it is great!…. When you figure out how to use it. Hard to figure out but once you get the hang of it you’ll never go back (another thing my fellow curly haired babes will understand)

>Seungkwan<

co wash. A little something extra, a boost of energy, if you will. a well kept secret but also a well known fact 

>Vernon<

hair tie. Easy to loose but also easy to find. especially in places where youd think: “why the fuck would it end up here?” Like idk man, but you should definitely check the dark corner collecting lint— that’s where they always are

>Dino<

leave in conditioner because with use over time it makes your hair (you) healthier

~End~

a/n: annnnnnnnddddd thats it! hope y'all enjoyed this disaster of a fic lmao if you liked it, please leave some love like comments or reblogging!

stay safe, y'all!

2023 ©️copyright for shutupheathersorryheatherr do NOT repost, steal, or translate my work even if you give me credit

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