Tumgik
#i hope that link works oops
angelhummel · 2 years
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Tell us your Spotify please!
CMG! I have like 115 playlists but only 6 are on my profile and idk how many I have private vs public but like. Feel free to follow lol
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months
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Collection of edits from this comic with Disco Elysium dialogue.
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garaviel · 5 months
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i was tagged by @daggertongue to post 10 songs i play on repeat. Thank you!!!
Hysteria by Spiritbox
Chain by Switchblade Symphony
Scarlet by In This Moment
Thin Be the Veil by A Dark Halo
Anomaly by Aviana
Rat Wars by Health
Cyanide Love by Within Temptation
Haunted by Evanescence
Dead Souls by Joy Division
Some Kind of Stranger by Sisters of Mercy
Tagging @ramikadyc @n7viper @waltonghoulgins @bastila @elfgremlin @chaotician @aelyosos @arcann @aztechnology and whoever wants to show off some music (i can always use more recs!!)
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good-beans · 6 months
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Well, Milgramblrgram, you have spoken! This is what you wanted, wasn't it?
I've doled out my judgement on Nott, Kyanako, and Waivy! You can rest easy knowing that I took care of everything 😌 And I do believe there was something else that you all voted in favor of, hm...?
You are very welcome, Wardens! I look forward to continuing to be a team 🐺
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baked-bread · 1 year
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Anime North 2023 - Haul
Total cost: $335 (all prices are in CAD)
Figures:
Total cost: $185 + 150
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Love Live! Sunshine!! - Mari Ohara - Super Premium Figure - The First of Aquors (SPM) - $30
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I think that she's so cute! I was having a difficult time deciding between a few Mari prize figures, but I definitely like this one a lot. :)
Fate stay/night - Saber - Nendoroid (#250) 10th Anniversary Edition (Good Smile) - $60
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I bought her at the Nominoichi! I've never owned a full-size Nendoroid so I'm really happy to own her, especially at this price. :) She hasn't been unboxed in over 10 years... The seller was originally selling her for $70, but I was really happy to see the price drop near the end of the night, and that's what ended up cementing my decision. I love Saber so much and I'm really happy about this one. :D
Hatsune Miku - BiCute Bunnies - ~White Bunny Baby Pink~ (FuRyu) - $50
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She's so cute.... and also now the largest figure I own. The stockings are made of real material (which is a cool touch), but the fabric pills a lot in the back. I don't think the stockings were executed well at all. Regardless, I think she's adorable and I absolutely love her. >_<
Hatsune Miku - Noodle Stopper Figure - Sporty Maid Ver. (FuRyu) - $45
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I absolutely love the noodle stopper figures that have released recently. I love maid outfits, so I'm so overjoyed to have this one. >_< She's so cute.... it makes me want to buy cup noodles on purpose so I can take a picture of her with it. For now, she sits quite nicely on the edge of a shelf. I think I actually prefer this style a lot over figures with stands.
Manga:
Total cost: $20
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From top to bottom:
Persona 3 - volumes 8 and 9
Persona 4 - volumes 7 - 10
Steins;Gate 0 - volumes 2 and 3
The Beguiling's stand at Anime North has select volumes of manga for 4/$10 every year, and I always look forward to it! I already own volumes 1-6 of both the Persona 3 and Persona 4 manga from their stand in 2019 (the last time that I attended the convention), so I'm up to 10 on P4 and I'm missing 7 on the P3 one! I don't own volume one of the Steins;Gate 0 manga, so I'll end up pirating it online. Overall, I'm always really happy to get them so cheap, especially since most of the manga I've accumulated over the years is actually from them at this price.
Artist Goods:
Separate page for full artist links is located here: ♡
Total cost: $120
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From left to right:
NIJISANJI - Millie Parfait - acrylic charm (moecinna) - $15
NIJISANJI - Yugo Asuma + Millie Parfait - acrylic charms (NIKOORIN) - $25
I love these charms a lot! I was so excited to see one for Yugo. :O There were a lot of artists selling Nijisanji merch, but OP was the only one with him. >_< I have moecinna's charm on my keys and NIKOORIN's charms attached to the backpack that I take to work! They're all so cute! I put moecinna's charm on the lanyard with my badge, and I got some compliments on it while waiting in line for a panel, too. :)
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Project SEKAI COLORFUL STAGE! - Nightcord at 25:00 - print (Nemururin) - $20
Her art was so pretty! I really wanted the Luxiem print, but it was sold out by the time I decided on the purchase. :( Spent my last $20 here! I was debating on whether or not I'd get her Wonderland x Showtime print or her Nightcord at 25:00 print, and Nightcord won out. If I ever see the Luxiem print up for sale again... 👀
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Ichigo Magazine Tee - shirt (Ocean In Space) - $50
I absolutely love her art! I saw a post online a week before the event saying that she'd be there and I was so excited, except I couldn't find her in the artist alley. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that her booth was in the dealer's room. >_< The shirt itself is really comfy, and the fact that it's mostly polyester is a godsend to me! (I have a lot of texture issues with cotton and don't wear it unless I'm leaving the house.) I normally wear a medium, so I bought that, and it definitely does come really oversized! I think that makes it even more comfortable, honestly. It was an intense debate on which shirt to buy, but I'm really happy with this one and I think it's so cute. ^^
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Sanrio - Cinnamoroll - phone grip (uukipi) - $10
(Phone case not included, LMAO.) A ton of artists were selling phone grips this year, which was super cool! I've never used a popsocket-type phone grip, but it's actually pretty nice. :O All of the phone grips from uukipi were super cute, too, which makes me really happy. :)
Miscellaneous:
Total cost: $30
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Love Live! μ’s x SNOW MIKU 2016 (Bellplans) - clear file - $3
I wasn't aware that this collab even existed! I really like Love Live! and I really like Vocaloid, this is like a collab made in heaven. The file's still in it's original packaging (which I haven't removed), so it was a bit difficult to get a good picture of it! I'm surprised that I got it so cheap at the Nominoichi, but I'm really glad that I did. :)
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From top to bottom/left to right:
Code:Realize - Cardia Beckford - rubber strap - $2
Diabolik Lovers: More,Blood - Ayato Sakamaki - deka keyholder
Love Live! Sunshine!! - Yoshiko Tsushima - acrylic keychain
Love Live! Sunshine!! - Kanan Matsuura - acrylic keychain - all keychains for $5
I can't even explain how much joy I had when I found Code:Realize merch! :O I love the keychains so much, too... The girl running the table was really nice, and a lot of things were discounted right before the end of the Nominoichi, and the keychains on the bottom were 3/$5!
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From left to right:
Pokémon Scarlet/Violet - lanyard - given to me by @form-sweet-form! Thank you so much!
Café Delish 2023 - Zelda heart pin, rubber bracelet, maid café ticket - $20 (for admission to the maid café)
This year, I attended the con with someone that I'd met in a DMMd server! She was super nice and it was so fun hanging out with her. :D Her cosplay of Aoba Seragaki was so good, too... She gave me this lanyard when we met up with each other! I had to wait in line for an hour and a half to get tickets for Café Delish for the both of us... it was so worth it though, it was so fun! ^^ I should've shown up even earlier, we couldn't get tickets at the same table by the time I made it... As souvenirs, I have a pin, a rubber bracelet, and a Polaroid with the maid at my table (which I will not be posting on Tumblr, as I'm not exactly eager to post my face here). I definitely wish to buy tickets for Café Delish again, and I hope to see her in the future as well!
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Bandori! - 8th live - mini file map
Everything here and below were free goods given at the Nominoichi for whoever wanted them!
From the same Nominoichi seller that sold me the keychains: a whole bunch of goods given for free (originally $2 each) at the end of the night! I took a lot of them, so I ended up handing her some money (separate from the keychains LMAO) as thanks. I didn't realize until I'd gotten home that I accidentally took two of one of the envelopes. >_< If anyone happens to want the spare, I don't mind mailing it as long as you can pay shipping. Interestingly enough, the back of them has the 7-Eleven logo? These envelopes are made of plastic (clear file material) and super cute. :)
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From left to right/top to bottom:
Tsukipro - Yaegashi Kensuke - Alive & Growth fan club card collection
Uma Musume Pretty Derby - Mejiro McQueen - tin
Senran Kagura - Yumi - acrylic keychain ver. A
Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai - Kobato Hasegawa - mirror
Ocean in Space - sticker
Pins:
Fire Emblem Awakening - Tharja, Gaius, Henry, Chrom
Fire Emblem Fates - Xander
Dream Daddy - Damien Bloodmarch
DRAMAtical Murder - Clear, Virus, Trip
(Pin artist - unknown. If anyone can find out who drew any of these, please let me know!)
Everything from the top (except the sticker, that one came free with the shirt purchase) is from the keychain seller! All of the pins are from another seller that had a box of pins they were giving away for free. I actually don't know much about the shows and games that they're from... I think that I want to look into Tsukipro especially! I do think that all of the goods are super cute, though. :) I was especially surprised when I peeled off the backing of the Kobato metal and found out that it was a mirror, I didn't expect that at all. :O They had other DRAMAtical Murder pins, too! I gave the Aoba and Koujaku to Raphaela (from form-sweet-form), since those were the only ones that she wanted. :) The other DMMd pins are over here, in her Anime North post! Especially happy about the Clear, Virus, Henry, and Damien pins, since I love those characters especially. :)
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From left to right:
Akuyaku Reijou wa Ringoku no Outaishi ni Dekiai Sareru - postcard
5-Toubun no Hanayome ∬ - postcard
(I have no idea what the third one is from. If anyone knows, please let me know!)
Postcards! I think that they're super cute, so I picked these up from the keychain seller as well. I've never heard of any of the medias that they're from, though. The maid one is especially adorable.... I'm such a huge fan...
Overall, I had so much fun attending Anime North, and I'm really happy about the merchandise that I picked up from the convention! I've never had the money to own larger figures (over the many cons I've been to, I have two prize figures, one of which was a gift), so I'm so happy that I can actually collect them now! There are so many Miku figures that I want... Going to a convention as an adult with a job is such a freeing experience. I hope to go again next year, check out more panels, buy a lot, and hopefully go with a friend or two again!
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sharkface-daydreams · 2 years
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Love Is Stored In The Worms
[LINK]
Relationship: Scully/Murphy
Rating: T
Tags: Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Summary: Back at the old GrubCo, Murphy, Scully, and Zach had had a betting pool going on for if Felix and Locus were a thing. Murphy was hopeful they were not because if Felix and Locus were whatever they were but it wasn't anything, then whatever he and Scully had wasn't anything either. But now that they know it is something…what does that mean for what he's got with Scully?
(What's better than two guys being pals, just two dudes pallin' around, falling for each other without realizing?)
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milkolya · 6 months
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how do you inspect script the max boops!
someone i follow did it !! sorry i dont know the specifics
https://www.tumblr.com/phantomrose96/746526133675327488?source=share
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megamindsecretlair · 8 days
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Can you please write an Aaron Pierre smut fic or love story? 🙏🏽
A/N: Ya'll don't get me started on this man. Just don't. I'm obsessed.
Wild
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. PWP, cursing, PIV, fingering (female receiving) teasing, size kink, dirty talk, degradation kink if you squint, rough sex, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some, I'm rushing, just let me know.
Summary: You went on a small camping trip with Terry, who graciously helped to introduce you to hiking. After a critter destroys your tent, you stupidly volunteer to share his. Shouldn’t be too bad, right?
Word Count: 5,859k
AO3 Link
A/N: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE. Don't ask for him no more! (kidding, kinda) I will never be normal about him. It just kept going. My shoulder has been on fire for the past two weeks so I'm taking a much needed break. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.
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You stepped carefully along the ground. You made sure not a twig nor rock slipped beneath your shoes as you picked your way through the thicket of trees. Terry gave you a head start, closing his eyes and turning around with a smug look on his face.
You’ll show him though. There was no way he could track you this time. The ground was dry, you didn’t step on anything, and you worked with intention. The goal was to get to the river before he could catch up to you.
So far, it had to have been at least fifteen minutes since he started counting. That was a good enough lead, right? 
You were distracted. But something had to keep your mind off of your pursuer. You and Terry had formed an easy friendship, seeing each other around the gym. When he mentioned hiking was a hobby of his, you mentioned that you wanted to get into it but wasn’t sure where to start.
You should have kept your mouth shut. Spending nearly every week up close and personal with him was a new level of personal hell. He was so damn pretty. You didn’t often call men pretty, because…well…but he was!
The most striking eyes ever rimmed in dark eyelashes as if he were wearing eyeliner. Wide nose and even wider lips. An adorable, incredible smile. You stepped behind a tree and paused for a moment, bending over to grab your knees. 
Fuck you were out of shape. And trying to keep up with Terry’s tall ass was a struggle. Beyond a struggle. For every step he took, you had to scurry behind. And he didn’t believe in breaks. Fuckin’ ex military. 
You breathed through your nose though that only made breathing difficult. Didn’t help that you were horny as hell either. You leaned up and pressed your back against the bark of the tree, hoping no critters tried to ride home with you.
You took off your hat and wiped your brow, looking at your surroundings. The woods itself had thick trees, fluffy leaves, and branches that stretched high in the sky. Dots of sunlight slanted, giving you a peek at the bright blue sky. Terry would call it quits soon. You pouted. This was the second mini camping trip you’d been on with him and you hadn’t been able to escape him.
You replaced your hat on your head and risked a glance behind you. No sign of Terry. Good. You grinned and took off again, picking carefully through the woods. The water was close. You could hear the current from where you were. 
Almost there, oop around that rock, and ahhh, almost stepped on a rock. Ha. In his gorgeous face. 
You almost laughed but it would give away your position. You pressed your hand to the nearest tree as you swung around it just as strong arms pushed you into the tree.
You screamed as Terry moved in behind you, pressing his chest against your back. “Found you,” he said. His voice was low and deep, emerging from somewhere deep in his wide chest.
You groaned and slapped the tree. “How the hell did you find me?” You asked.
Terry chuckled and stepped away from you. You missed the heat of his body already. You schooled your features and turned around with a smirk on your face. You folded your arms across your chest so he couldn’t see how hard you were gasping for air. For more than one reason.
“You’re loud as hell,” he said. 
“Was not! I was being quiet! I made sure I was!” 
Terry looped his fingers through his hiking backpack and tilted his head at you. “I’ve been following you for ten minutes,” he said.
You looked away, back the way you came. Shit. What did he hear? What did he see? You may or may not talk to yourself to get yourself through shit. You ran through the past ten minutes, trying to think of what you said or did or if you drew any attention to the horrible crush you had on him.
He had to know his appeal. But you didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. You weren’t only friends with him because he was hot. That was loser shit. You genuinely valued his opinions, his outlook. You loved that he had a way of making everyone at ease with just a few quiet words or a playful look. 
But that goddamn body. You looked back towards his face, because if you looked at his shirt, dripping with sweat, you’d combust on the spot. Terry smirked as if he could read your thoughts and pointed the way you came.
“You have to be aware of your surroundings if you do find yourself in a situation like this. It’s not about being quiet. It’s about moving fast, moving smart, and trust nothing,” he said.
You put your hands on your hips and pouted. “One of these days you’re not gonna be able to catch me,” you said.
He chuckled. “I’d still catch you,” he said. He smirked and turned around, heading into the woods, away from the water. 
You’d just have to train when he wasn’t around being a distraction. You sighed, trying to not let the sting of failure drag you into the dumps. You walked behind him, your consolation prize being his nice, gorgeous ass. 
He wore camo pants and a gray t-shirt, hiking boots, and tall thick socks. The pants really showed off his assets. You bit your lip imagining what it’d be like pressed up against all that piece of man. 
“Keep up!” He barked out. You huffed and whined, jogging to catch up to him.
“You do know you’re like, eight feet tall right?” You asked.
He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, giving him an animalistic side eye. His eyes were lethal. Your breathing stuttered and you hoped he didn’t hear it because god. “And you must be part lion? Part tiger? Yo ass ain’t natural,” you said, hoping to diffuse whatever spell he managed to weave whenever he trained those eyes on you. 
Terry chuckled. “You trynna say I’m not human?” 
You didn’t answer right away, only because you were trying not to huff and puff as you talked. You needed your inhaler, but you also left it in your tent. Yes, yes, you knew it was a dumb move. But hell, there was nothing more embarrassing than having to stand there and use it.
“I mean…” you said, letting the sentence dangle.
Terry gave you that side eye again, his mouth twisted in a frown. You gave him an innocent smile back, batting your eyes all innocent-like. Terry only shook his head, the corners of his mouth drifting down as he tried to hide a smile. 
You walked together in silence, grateful if only because your lungs were burning. When you decided to go on this journey of getting in shape and getting your mind right, you never thought you’d be in the woods. Let alone with someone like Terry. 
He was competent, knowing so much about living off the grid and being prepared. He carried all kinds of tools with him. You had a thirst for knowledge, asking him a million questions. He answered every single one too. If you could clone him and pass him out like candy to your friends, you would. There needed to be more men like him. 
A trail of ripped paper littered the ground like patches of snow in the middle of fall. “No,” you gasped.
You sped up as Terry’s hands shot out to stop you, but you pushed past him, running towards your campground. Your tent was on the far left, torn to pieces and ripped apart. Your journal had been shredded, ripped apart by some kind of animal. Your clothes were thrown about.
You were only out here for a day and night, getting a tiny taste of camping thanks to Terry. You’d never been. Growing up an inner city kid, Black parents didn’t play that shit. The school yard was your jungle. You were threatened with going to stay out in the woods if you didn’t like living under their roof. It wasn’t a regular occurrence for you or your friends growing up. 
The small fire pit had been picked over as well. You made a wailing sound as you tried to gather up the ripped pieces of paper. All those memories gone. All those feelings torn up. Some pieces flew with the breeze and you took off your own backpack, trying hard not to cry.
“You can’t run ahead like that. What if it was dangerous?” Terry scolded you. His voice got deeper, eyes narrow. He bent down to help you pick up the pieces of paper.
“Please, don’t! I got it,” you said. Perhaps a bit harsher than necessary. You weren’t going to cry. It was a minor setback. Things happened. You play stupid games and you won stupid prizes. 
Perhaps your parents were right. You should’ve kept your ass inside. Without all these damn bugs, and twigs, and fucking leaves tangling in your braids. 
Terry busied himself with picking through your tent, analyzing what may have happened. Home. When you got home, you would be able to break down. Not here. Not with Terry right there. His ass didn’t skip a beat.
“Might’ve been a bear. Or something similar looking for food,” he shouted over his shoulder.
You nodded but weren’t sure if he saw you. You only wanted to clean up your mess. You had so many ideas you wanted to jot down when you got back. So many observations, thoughts that raced through your mind on your hike. Now those thoughts would be gone too. Terry’s one rule this morning was no cellphone. 
You could do a day without it. Boy, were you wrong. You made a mental note to keep your journal with you from now on. Or start carrying a smaller notebook for bullet points and then journal at home, like a sane woman.
“You can take my tent. I’ll sleep out here and make sure nothing circles back,” he said.
You stopped from grabbing the last piece of torn paper from a bush nearby and turned to face him. “I won’t make you do that,” you said.
Terry stood up and dusted his hands, unstrapping his back from across his chest. “I didn’t ask,” he said.
You snagged the last piece and carried your pathetic pile to your ruined tent. You liked that tent. You just bought that tent. Did the fucking bear think money grew on trees? You kicked at the black and orange heap and faced Terry.
“I didn’t either,” you said. 
Terry watched you with those deadly eyes as he dropped his bag to the ground. He used the bottom of his shirt to clean his sweaty face. Damn. His words drew your attention back to his face. “I’ve been trained to survive outdoors. You haven’t.” 
You tucked the pile of paper into your ruined tent and then faced him once more. Terry was about to meet a hard rock. “Don’t start with the macho act, okay? We’re adults. I’m not making you stay outside while I’m tucked away all nice and toasty in your tent,” you said.
A smile curved his lips as he stepped closer, using his height to his advantage. You had to look up otherwise you’d just be staring at his chest. You stood your ground and tilted your head. He may have the advantage. He may be just as stubborn as you were. But you did not back down. Ever. Some called it a toxic trait but there were other ways to survive. Everybody had something.
Terry’s eyes were even more dangerous up close. Not quite blue. Not quite brown. Some mix of the two that was hypnotizing in the way he coldly assessed you. You didn’t know what he was thinking. His poker face was lethal. Not a hint or a clue.
“What do you suggest, then?” He asked.
A hotel, a shower, a bed, twenty four hours, and a bottle of lotion. But that was neither here nor there. You licked your lips and blinked at him. “We can share. Or do you not want my cooties in your tent?” You asked.
That surprised a laugh out of Terry. He shook his head. “Fine. But I snuggle in my sleep,” he said. 
His jaw flexed. He looked expectantly at you, lifting an eyebrow like he expected you to back down. You only raised your chin. “Good, I get cold at night,” you said.
He blinked slowly and nodded, rocking back on his heels before stepping away. “I’ll help with your tent then, before we lose the light,” he said.
When he turned around, you sighed quietly. Shaking out your sweaty palms. Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod. What the hell did you do that for? 
You berated yourself as you and Terry worked as a team, removing your items from inside and rolling up your tent. He secured it with rope from inside his backpack and you had a wayward thought that made you laugh out loud.
Terry had knelt on the ground, one knee up, as he secured your tent. He looked up at your laugh and you waved him off. 
“What is it?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.
“Nothing, it’s stupid,” you said.
“I want to know,” he said.
You pinched your lips, wondering if you should say. Aw hell, you had to get it out now otherwise you’d be giggling in your sleep all night. “You kind of remind me of Dora,” you said.
“The kid’s show?” He asked.
You nodded and tried to hold in the laugh, but your stomach cramped from trying. His expression only made it worse as he stared at you like you were crazy. Maybe you were. Maybe you didn’t need to be in a tent with him all night. 
Terry chuckled and shook his head. “Magic backpack?” He asked.
You nodded and burst into laughter. His eyes narrowed but he smiled at you. “Come on, giggles, we’re not done,” he said.
“Work, work, work, is that all you think about?” You asked.
“No,” he said, his voice low and soft. You tilted your head at him and he gave you a funny look. Assessing you again. He didn’t elaborate further as he moved your sleeping bag inside of his tent.
“I’ll roll mine in a bit. Let’s clean this up some more before we hit the stream,” he said.
You thought about look on his face as you cleaned up around the campfire. There was no food to be found, so whatever creature or critter that did it, just made a whole lot of mess for nothing. 
You threw away your journal pages into the small trash bag Terry had tied high in the tree above your campground. He secured it back in place after getting it down for you, gifting you with a side view of his abs. Good god, the man was built in all the right ways. God took his time with this one.
Nice and clean with only one tent now, Terry let you go to the stream to freshen up first. The woods lacked fresh amenities but it was one of those parks that did have strategically placed rest areas. You handled business and then went down to the small stream a ways down from the campsite.
It was within shouting distance and you used the fresh water to clean the sweat from your body. You returned, feeling much better now that your skin wasn’t so sticky. Terry went next, disappearing from view and already lifting his shirt.
You took a risky glance over your shoulder, admiring the cut of his back as he stalked through the woods. His narrow hips moved with ease, ass in full view. Your mouth watered as your canine caught on your lower lip. You’d eat that man alive if given half the chance.
Terry’s head was on a swivel, looking around just on GP. You hurriedly looked away, grabbing your inhaler from your pocket. You retrieved it during clean up but was too nervous to use it in front of him.
Lot of good it did you now, but you took two deep puffs to clean all this fresh air from your lungs. The one thing you did not have in common with your ancestors was a major love of the outdoors. Fuck the air and nature. Give you a hot bath and TV any day of the week. 
Terry returned and you eased into conversation, talking about your families as the light disappeared. Terry started a fire, stoking it with a stick. You talked about life goals, hobbies, or anything really. Watched as he moved, talked, or the way he laughed. Listening to his voice was soothing. Welcoming. Terry caught fish in the river earlier and cooked it over that fire when it was good and ready. 
You yawned one too many times and Terry chuckled. “Head inside, I’ll do one last check,” he said.
“We didn’t get to tell any scary stories,” you said.
Terry shook his head and smiled. He was already dimming the fire, carefully stamping out hot rocks in the pit he built. Watching that man build a fire shouldn’t have got you that hot and bothered but it did.
“Next time, if you’re up for it.”
“You never stop, huh?” You asked, sleepily. 
Terry shrugged. “Not much to slow down for,” he said. He looked at you over the fire. The light from the flames danced across his skin, making him seem even more otherworldly. An understanding passed between you and you nodded, getting up without issue. 
You patted his shoulder, understanding the note of loss in his voice. You’d been there. You didn’t understand his pain, but you understood loss all the same. You took a deep breath before heading inside his tent.
It smelled like him. Like all, pure male. You whimpered, climbing on top of your sleeping bag. He had a nice tent. Much nicer than yours, even though his was well used. It had been folded and unfolded so many times, the grooves were permanent at this point. 
His sleeping bag was brown and looked more like a blanket compared to yours. Did his big ass even fit inside of a sleeping bag? How did he normally sleep? Did he have a bed big enough to hold him? Did he sleep sideways?
You were only half sure that he was playing when he said he snuggled in his sleep. He never mentioned a girlfriend or a wife. Did he have big pillows to snuggle? You stared at the domed ceiling of the tent, picturing what Terry looked like at rest. 
It only made your pussy flutter picturing his smooth, dark skin. Eyes closed. Mouth slightly parted. Did he snore? You probably should have asked that before volunteering to share a tent with him.
The rustle of Terry entering the tent made you shriek and sit up, like you were caught with your hand in a cookie jar. Terry stopped at the entrance and looked at you. “Just me. Do you want me to stay outside?” 
“No. Um. I was just thinking,” you said. Thinking about sucking that –
“Are you sure?” 
“Yes,” you said, quietly. 
You couldn’t see his face now that the fire was out. He was just a solid wall of black, crab-walking into the tent and then zipping it up behind him. You were acutely aware of every move he made. Every sigh. Every huff of breath.
“Go to sleep,” he said.
“How the hell do you know I’m still awake?” You asked.
“You’re too loud,” he said. 
You could hear the smile in his voice and you rolled your eyes. “Heard that too,” he said.
“Oh, shut it!” You said, rolling over to your side. Terry chuckled as he climbed into his sleeping bag. 
You shut your eyes and focused on your breathing, focused on falling asleep. Terry made it surprisingly easy. His gentle breathing was its own type of sound machine, lulling you to sleep along with the crickets outside. The soft hum of the water nearby. Before you knew it, you were out like a light.
Rustling jerked you awake. It was hard to truly knock out in the middle of nowhere, next to someone like Terry, and not still be keen to every single sound. You were feeling hot as hell, like you woke up in a sauna.
Terry’s arms were wrapped around you and you were snuggled up under his neck, inhaling his deep masculine scent. You cracked an eye open, though you still couldn’t see. Pitch black outside and inside the tent.
Terry hummed as more rustling turned your attention from the fact that he really did snuggle in his sleep. The noise made your heart speed up, clogged up your throat, made it hard to breathe.
Terry tightened his arms around you and drew his face down until his mouth was against your cheek. “Shh,” he said, too quiet. You didn’t think him capable.
He extracted himself from you, moving in a way that didn’t make noise at all. He even managed to unzip the tent without making a sound. He only unzipped it far enough to peek out.
You weren’t a damn damsel in distress. So you rolled over, not as quiet as him, and joined him at the entrance. There was enough light from the moon to cast a low glow over the campsite. There was nothing truly out there, but the rustling continued. The sound increased, and got closer and closer.
Your hand flew to Terry’s exposed knee, gripping on for dear life as an actual deer walked out of bushes and sniffed the air. You sighed, deflating against Terry’s side. Terry sighed as well, unzipping the tent more to get a good look. 
The both of you watched the deer nose around the campsite, likely following the smell of Terry’s good cooking. It’s ears swayed back and forth, picking through nothing as Terry was meticulous about cleaning up after himself.
“You were scared,” he whispered, shaking his head.
“So were you!” You fired back.
“Nah, I was good,” he said.
“You liar,” you said, with a chuckle.
“It’s okay if you were scared, you know,” he said. 
“Ain’t nobody scared of no damn deer. And ain’t nobody need your protection,” you said. You poked him in his chest. When did he find a chance to ditch his shirt? You had been snuggled next to that hunk of meat and he didn’t have a shirt on?!
“No?” Terry leaned over, his lips grazing your ear. “Go out there and say hi.” He tried to push you out of the tent and you fought him, trying not to spook the deer. One wrong move and the deer took off.
You giggled as you wrestled with Terry. He was so big, you didn’t stand a chance. It didn’t take much effort to subdue you, but you bucked and wrestled for control. No dice. Terry laughed as he pinned you beneath him, legs spread wide as he scooted in and leaned down close to your face.
“Give up?” He asked.
“Like hell,” you said. You had siblings. You knew how to scrap. Yet, all you did was rub your body against his growing bulge. 
You stopped wrestling for control. Your breaths were harsh and loud in the stillness of the tent. Terry’s chest rose and fell but he wasn’t as loud as you. You stopped struggling against his hold, letting him pin your wrists to the ground above your head.
“Hmm,” he hummed, a rumbling sound low in his chest. “Ain’t that better?” 
“Terry?” You asked.
“Mhm,” he said, leaning down to rub his stubble across your chin. 
“Kiss me,” you said.
Terry leaned up and kissed you. You moaned into his mouth. His lips were just as juicy, just as lush. Soft to the touch. And he was an expert. Kissing, retreating, licking, retreating, biting, retreating. He drove you wild, not giving an inch. Not giving you any wiggle room.
He completely caged you beneath him. Beneath the heaviness of him. He still had your wrists pinned, so you weren’t able to touch him like you wanted. You weren’t the type to be agreeable for agreeable’s sake.
Terry growled at your attempts to shake his hold. Shake his control. He bit your lip, hard, and you cried out, ending on a moan. He licked the sting away, kissing down your jaw and to your neck.
“Fuck do you do to me?” He asked, more to himself as he kissed and explored your skin. He ground his bulge into your pussy and you whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist.
Just as he showed you in training, you managed to buck your hips and flip him over. You wailed in triumph, not actually believing that would work. Your breaths were harsh, wild, as you finally got to touch him. Your hands roamed over his broad, warm chest. He took great care of his body.
In a lightning quick move, Terry grabbed your arm and flipped you over to your stomach. He grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them behind your back. You cried out from the force, but it was welcome. Inviting a rush of heat to flow through you, straight to your dripping pussy. You moaned as Terry dropped his weight on top of you.
His dick aligned with your ass and you tucked it higher. He grunted and slapped your ass. “Ow!” You yelled, more from surprise. Though the fucker did hurt. With hands as large as his, he managed to cover a wide area of your ass. Leaving behind a burning sting that only made you wiggle your ass against him.
“Fighting only turns me on, princess,” he said. He leaned down to your ear and growled. He sounded damn near like a lion. “Give up?” He nibbled on your ear.
“Fuck no,” you said and giggled. 
Terry moved your wrists to one hand, then used his free hand to pull your joggers down over your ass. You whimpered as he caressed your booty, intentionally missing the heated core of you. 
You moaned, trying to wiggle your ass where you needed him most. All these months of pining, of wanting, of yearning, were coming to a head. All those times training, working beside him, tangling with him were catching up to you, Making you feel like you were going to burn to a crisp.
“Use them big girl words and tell me what you want,” he said.
You arched your back. Begging, crying whimpers escaping you as his big fingers skirted the outer edge of your pussy. The smell of your arousal permeated the tent. There was no way to deny how turned on you were. If you could just, wiggle, and move a little to the left–
Terry slapped your ass. “What did I say?” He asked.
You groaned. “Fuck me!” Your horniness won this round.
Terry chuckled evilly, plunging his fingers into your dripping wet hole. You both moaned at the contact. He went knuckles deep with no resistance. He wiggled two fingers inside of you, making you moan loudly like a slut. 
“Was that so hard?” He asked, whispering in your ear as he continued to finger fuck you. He fingered you with all the precision he was known for. Immediately making you grind on his fingers. 
“You can do better than that. Get that shit you want so bad,” he said. He mocked you, he teased you. Every cry or whimper that came out of your mouth, he responded with an evil chuckle or a moan of his own in your ear.
It was always followed randomly by a growl in his chest. The intimacy of the dark and the wet sucking of your pussy drove you closer to that climax. Barreled into it. Crashed into it. You screamed, loud, calling his name as that climax slammed into you like a truck.
“There it is. Shit feel good, don’t it?” He asked.
You nodded your head, forgetting for a moment that it was dark and he couldn’t see you. He released your wrists and then grabbed a handful of your braids, yanking your head back. “Don’t it?” He asked.
“Yesss,” you moaned, biting your lip and rubbing your ass against him. “Oh, fuck me, baby. Now.”
Terry chuckled, smacking your ass. “As much as I want to, I don’t have a condom,” he said. 
“I’m clean. On the pill,” you said. Thank god for that. There was no way you’d be able to sleep tonight without the feel of him inside of you. 
“Are you sure?” He asked.
You nodded, feeling your braids pull as it was still trapped in his tight grip. Terry chuckled. There was the sound of sucking. He moaned. “Taste good. Can’t wait to get back home and spread you on my bed. Hmm, maybe my dining table. Eat you like the good fuckin’ meal you are,” he said. 
He moved behind you, lowering his pants. He groaned, rubbing his dick against your folds. Oh shit. He was working with a third leg. “Oh shit, Terry,” you moaned. Your belly ached. Hollowed out. You were so empty. 
“You’ve been driving me crazy wearing those leggings. And that skirt you wore last week?” Terry talked as he rubbed his dick between your legs. You shook. Terrified of taking all that but knew you had to try. Had to relax and let the master work. 
“What took you so fuckin’ long?” You asked. 
Terry chuckled and smacked your ass, pulling your braids back. You moaned, back arching even more. “That little attitude of yours,” he said. 
“Fuck y–”
Terry pushed into your wet heat, cutting off all words. You reached back, trying to grab onto him. He smacked your hand away and pushed in further, gaining more and more inches inside of you.
Your legs shook. You whimpered as he retreated and then slammed back inside. He sunk further in, stretching you, molding you around his dick. “Oh god, oh fuck, oh god,” you moaned. The delicious burn was too much. Not enough.
Terry moaned, grabbing your hip and pulling you further onto his dick. You didn’t think he could fit inside any more. Surely, he bottomed out by now? 
“Not so tough with some dick in you,” Terry mocked. 
To prevent you from saying something smart, Terry moved with earnest. His stroke game was as intense as the man himself. His strokes were brutal. Punishing. He groaned with every slide inside of you, making your thighs tingle with pleasure.
“Slam that shit back,” he said. 
You placed your hands on the ground and threw it back on him, rising up to meet each of his thrusts. Each of his long strokes. Accepting his dick. Accepting everything he gave you.
“Terry! Oh, you fuck me so well,” you said. You sniffled, screaming with every thrust.
Terry chuckled. “I know. Spread your legs wider,” he said.
He stopped stroking so that you could spread your legs more. You moved your feet to the outer edges of his legs. He pushed down on your back, releasing your braids so that you could fall forward. He raised your hips, moving you, manhandling you. 
Fuck, it felt so right. So good. So natural to be on your knees, ass up in the air, while he went to work. Terry grabbed your hips and moved you one last time. Then, he slammed inside in one rough thrust. You leaned forward, but he snatched you right back.
“Naw, naw. Where you going?” He moaned.
You moaned back, throwing it back but quickly losing the fight. This wasn’t some little man you let fuck you. This was a grown ass man. Secure in his businesses.
“Fuck, you feel good. So wet. I can barely stay inside of you,” he said. He cursed as he slammed into you like he truly wanted.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck. Terry! Terry! Sh-shh–oh that’s my spot,” you said. He brushed up against a deep spot inside of you. You thought it was a myth. You thought that shit didn’t exist. Terry found it without even trying.
“That’s your spot?” He asked. His deep voice made everything sound more filthy. More lewd. 
“That’s my spot!” You squealed. 
“That’s my spot now,” he said. No more words were spoken as he hit that spot over and over. 
Incoherent noises and sounds dribbled from your mouth. Perhaps some spit too. Your essence dripped out of you, flooding his dick as he didn’t let up. Didn’t stop. Kept hitting your spot like he was at target practice and he was showing out for the crowd. 
“Oh I’m gonna-I’m-gonna–”
“Cum on this dick. Let me feel it. Let it go,” he cooed to you.
There was a storm gathering inside of you. It almost felt like you had to pee. “Wait-” 
Terry moaned. Your cries turned to pleas. It both felt good and sort of hurt. “Uhngf-” You exploded, wailed to the high heavens as you came and squirted. “OH SHIT!”
Terry was saying something but you couldn’t hear over the sound of your yelling. Your pussy gripped onto him, locked him in, as you came and came. Terry smacked your ass and then thrust one last time before erupting with his own climax. He stuffed you completely.
Hot, thick pulses of cum throbbed inside of you. Your thighs shook. Your body twitched. Your eyes watered. You dissolved into a steaming pile of person as your eyes crossed with intense, whitehot pleasure.
Terry grunted and dropped forward, pushing you onto your sleeping bag. He kissed your damp pajama shirt. Both of you were huffing, out of breath. Thank god for your inhaler. Your lungs would be nonexistent right now. 
Terry softened by degrees, enough for him to pull out. You moaned as his cum leaked out. Like his dick was a plug keeping it all inside. 
“That’s never happened before,” you mumbled. Suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed. You ought to know what that felt like. Yet, it completely caught you off guard.
Terry maneuvered in the dark until he was able to pull you off of your sleeping bag and onto his where it was dry. He rubbed your arms and shoulders. Then, he grabbed your chin and pulled you into a searing kiss.
“I’m honored I drew it out of you,” he said. “Wait till I do it again.”
“Again! Not with that monster!” You yelled and tapped his chest. Terry’s rumbling laugh was everything you needed to hear. 
He pulled you closer, growling playfully and nipping at your skin. You giggled, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. “Again and again and again,” he said, kissing and nibbling at you with every word while you shrieked into the night with laughter.
The end.
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Who am I kidding? Of course there will be more! The Secret Terry Richmond Files
Taglist: @planetblaque @chaos-4baby @amethyst09 @ciaqui @we-outsiiiide
@browngirldominion @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @harmshake @00aijia00
@judymfmoody @multiversefanfics @tvchi @xo-goldengirl @superhoeva
@avoidthings @lovedlover
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aspirationalpeony · 8 months
Text
Dark Horse
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Summary: As a cameraperson on the Abbott documentary crew, you've always had a good working relationship with Melissa Schemmenti. One flirtatious night at her home sends you spinning as you try to figure out if this is really real—not to mention how everyone at Abbott seemed to know about Melissa's crush on you, long before you ever did. (See author's note at the end for prompt credit.) Content Warnings: Lots of smut, a bit of emotional confusion, and me having absolutely no idea how filming anything works. I just faked my way through it, very horribly. Oops! :) AO3 Link
It all starts with a late shoot.
It's just you and the mic guy and one other crew, and your camera trained on Melissa Schemmenti. She talks, in a way she's done rarely so far. A season and a half and she's always conscious of the stare of the lenses, quick to dart around a corner or cut herself off if she knows the opps are listening.
She takes big sips, almost gulps, from her wine glass. She leads you back and forth across her house, reaching over tables or pointing along walls to find a photo here, another there, and talks. "Me'n Kristen-Marie... This one—" pause for more wine—"from my college graduation." It's the two of them, almost mirror images of each other at that age, with a tall man whose lean face makes you think he has to be their father; on the other side of the girls is their Nana.
There's no trick in this photo: no wedding dress, no blood, no hint of drama between the sisters at all. They just look hopeful and desperately young. This feels private, that Melissa could have been so young—something that shouldn't be content for the show—and you feel an impulse to duck the camera away, hide her secret. When you look at Melissa again, she’s watching you; there’s a glitter in her green eyes you can’t interpret: not hostile, and not the look she gets when she’s hustling someone, either. The gaze she’s giving you is strangely soft.
“Whaddaya think?” she says, to you, not to the camera.
You swallow. Nothing you say will make it to the final cut, but the editors will hear your answer, so you can’t tell her she’s beautiful in that picture. “I think I’m lucky you’re showing me this,” you say at last.
Her eyes move over your face. You feel it almost like a touch, intimate and slow, and you aren’t making it up: her gaze stops at your mouth and hovers there. She bites her lower lip before she lifts her wine glass again for another pull. “Maybe I like ya,” she says. “Maybe you’ll get luckier.”
You’re still blushing when you wrap for the night. You sit on your couch at home—you’re always insomniac after shooting at night, your brain and body still buzzing with the work—and put on Netflix on low volume and you don’t watch, just feel your cheeks still burning, thinking about her lipstick on her wine glass.
Of course, the whole crew knows the story by the next morning. When you turn up, Pedro, your best friend on the crew, says, “Look at you! Dark horse!” and it makes your face sear with heat all over again. He lowers his voice, leans in and nudges you. “C’mon, nothing in the contract about that. You deserve a little fun. Let your Italian mama take care of you.”
You cringe. “Please,” you say, “never say ‘Italian mama’ to me again. Okay?”
“Just sayin’,” he says, and leaves it alone.
Of course, it doesn’t leave you alone. You’ve learned the best way to sneak up on a conversation with Melissa and Barbara is to come at it around a corner, so you’re hovering down the kindergarten hall, camera on the two women, when you hear your name, making you stiffen.
“You said that?” Barbara’s voice is incredulous, sharp. “What did she say?”
“Nothin’, really,” Melissa says, “she was on the clock, y’know.” The smile starts in her voice before it grows on her face. It’s a Cheshire smirk bigger and deeper than you’ve ever seen. “She got all flustered. It was cute. You think she knows I was shootin’ my shot?”
“I think you could have ‘shot your shot’ with a little more dignity,” Barbara says crisply. “Like an adult does. Politely. Pleasantly.”
“Soberly,” Melissa says. “Listen, if it works, it works. I just gotta find out if it did, y’know. Work. She’s kinda shy.”
“I didn’t know you cared for that.”
"What, the quiet ones?"
You have to pull away. You're going to miss the rest of the conversation, but your face is burning again, your heart is pounding, and you're grappling with the reality that Melissa and Barbara are talking about you, that you're subject enough between them to be chatted about so casually, that all this footage is... God, are you ever going to live this down?
You'll go shoot some Janine and Gregory. That's always a crowd-pleaser; the audience loves the sweet tension between them, the way the space between their bodies turns tangible the longer their eye contact holds. You try not to think about Melissa's gaze on yours last night. You try to do your job.
That goes as well as you might expect. Fifteen minutes into some uninspiring quiz-grading ("oh, I never fail anyone," Janine says, "I just give 'em a different colored star—they like the gold ones best, so—") Pedro comes to find you.
"Hey, listen," he says, "I need you to come take care of your Calabrian chili pepper."
"What?"
"You know, your spicy linguini. Your Italian ma—"
"Stop." Your head whips toward Janine at her desk and then back to Pedro. The only thing you can think of to say, your heart thumping all over again, is "She's Sicilian, not Calabrian."
"She's giving us nothing. You got to come do her talking head. She keeps trying to square up to Kai and he doesn't wanna fight her."
"What makes you think she won't fight me?"
He gives you a look over his glasses.
The change in Melissa is instant when she sees you approach. Those folded arms, her squared shoulders, her broad, foot-planted stance—it all melts. She leans into the wall, her head tipping, one booted foot lifting for her toe to play in idle lines along the floor, and, yeah. Whether you picked her or not, this is your Sicilian chili pepper, and you swallow hard as you approach.
"Heya, hon," she says, "who's this clown they got me workin' with? Don't they know I only do this with the professionals?"
You mumble a little as Kai looks between the two of you, rolls his eyes, and backs off.
"We were talking about her Friday night plans," Pedro says. "It's school game night and she's not going."
"Yeah, the kids are too easy to hustle," she says, "it ain't even fun. What, do I look like I wanna spend all Friday winnin' their, I dunno, their Yu-Gi-Oh cards?"
Now's when Pedro should prompt her, ask a question. You glance at him; he nods his permission. "Not sure those are a thing anymore," you say.
"Their Pokemon cards," she says. "Whatever. Point is, it'd be like taking candy from a... Jacob."
You don't look at her; you focus on the camera. It's easier than holding her green gaze. "Is that where you draw the line?"
"Gotta draw it somewhere," she says.
You can't help it. Cautiously you look up, try to make your voice neutral: "So how are you going to spend Friday night?"
She lolls her head to one side and looks at you. She sticks her tongue into her cheek. "Prob'ly practicing tricks," she says.
"Tricks?"
"Yeah," she says. "With my magic wand."
You don't really remember the rest of the interview. You sure you babble some other questions, and she gives you some smirking answers, but your head is full of white noise and a singular image: Melissa Schemmenti with a vibrator between her legs.
You're sure other things happen that day. Pedro definitely ribs you some more, you and Kai go get lunch and he complains for a while, Gregory and Janine have one of their not-flirting conversations where he draws up a tightly-plotted itinerary for game night, trying to prove it's possible to run a children's event without delays (it all goes back to his father, of course), at some point you go home and numbly resume your post on the couch in front of your TV screen, trying to make sense of it all.
That picture won't leave your head. You think of the look she gave you that night at her house—intimate, caressing—and how she'd look deep in her pleasure, drunk eyes half-open, her face pink, her hair wild. Does she get naked when she touches herself? She seems too impatient—more like a jeans around her thighs kind of woman—but for a night she's planning ahead—a night she's set aside, just for her pleasure...
Your head drops back and you shut your eyes to see her more clearly. You can imagine the scattering of freckles over her shoulders and chest, the shift of her heavy breasts and the hard peaks of her pink nipples—how does she like to be touched there? Maybe she grabs one breast while she uses the vibrator, plays with a nipple, imagining the rough, confident hand of a lover. You can see the soft field of her belly, the abundance of her hips, her thighs, picturing her cunt, the head of the vibrator against her clit—she doesn't tease, can't tease herself, you imagine, not Melissa.
You can almost smell her sex, you think, until you realize it's yourself you're smelling. Your cunt throbs. You could shove a hand into your underwear now and just take care of it, but...
Your small toy collection lives in a box under your bed. It's nothing fancy, but you do have a small wand vibrator. You peel off your trousers and underwear and drop onto your bed, back against the pillows, holding the purple toy in one hand. Does Melissa have one this size? Or a big, classic one, the kind that could buzz your clit right off? You click the toy on and draw it up your thigh. As it nears the sensitive crease between your leg and your sex, your thigh twitches without meaning to, your clit aching, and you think, okay, no foreplay.
You can't help but wonder as you delve the thrumming head between your folds: does she know you're doing this? Was that the idea—plant herself in your head, grow over everything, including your common sense and your inhibitions, until your whole world flowers Melissa? Could she be doing the same—getting a head start on Friday's plans—thinking of you, right now? You're normally quiet when you do this, but that makes you groan aloud. Your clit pulses.
How does she do this, on a school night, like tonight? Back to the image of her with her trousers halfway down her legs, her hand and her toy crammed into the space between the fabric and her body. You can't help but see her in the outfit from today, that green, clinging top, the black blazer discarded somewhere, slacks caught just above her knees, her hair mussed and tangling against the pillows as she works the vibrator over her clit. No playing games for her, either; just getting the job done, hard and fast.
You come, watching her in your head, her name on your lips; you hope she comes tonight, too, thinking of you, of what she’s doing to you.
The next day, Janine, Gregory, and Jacob are in hushed conversation by the supply closet. You pick an angle from just inside the nearest classroom and train your camera on the slight crack of the open door and you can hear them, even though they think they’re being quiet—classic them.
“I don’t know, what do you think?” Janine is saying. “I think it’s kind of nice.”
“I think,” Gregory says, “it’s like…” He pauses, picking his words. “Like watching a dog shake a chew toy.”
“I think it’s very brave of Melissa,” says Jacob, and your heart drops into your stomach. “Considering the historical era in which she grew up and started her teaching career, being openly bisexual in the workplace must be a very—”
“Please don’t let her hear you call her ‘historical’,” Gregory interjects.
“It’s cute she has a crush on the camera lady,” Janine says. (“Cameraperson,” Jacob corrects.) “I just want it to turn out nice. You know, the vending machine guy didn’t work out, so. And now he doesn’t stock Gushers anymore.”
“Maybe she’ll be a little more relaxed,” Jacob says. “A little more… Open, fun—”
“She’s not going to start liking you because she’s dating somebody.” Gregory, with characteristic bluntness.
“One can hope,” Jacob says.
“The camera lady—person—is so quiet, though,” Janine muses. “Melissa is so intense.”
“Bet that’s what she likes,” Mr. Johnson says, making them all jump. He steps out from the supply closet; he’s holding a Teachers Without Borders coffee mug you know has to be Jacob’s. He takes a long, slurping sip, making sure everybody sees the logo on the cup. “Melissa gets a sweet little thang to take care of. Camera lady gets an Italian mama.” He says it eye-talian. (Where is everybody getting this phrase from?)
“Please don’t say ‘Italian mama’ again,” Gregory says, giving you a little flush of vindication.
“Why not?” Mr. Johnson says. “When I was on tour in Rome—”
That’s enough for you. You decide the rest of the conversation can go unrecorded. You check the time and it’s nearly lunch—thank God, because you don’t want to make eye contact with any of them for a while; you don’t know how to feel about them all talking about you. You know it’s not you, really, they care about. It’s Melissa, her caginess at odds with how boldly, openly she’s been flirting with you, an attraction so obvious even the younger teachers that she’d never confide in can see it.
Something light and effervescent swirls in your stomach, but there’s a leaden weight there, too. Nerves. And desire. You let Pedro know you’re taking lunch and leave your camera behind, finding Kai a block down, away from the school, hitting his vape. He passes it to you and you take a pull, letting candy-scented vapor out of your nose. You don’t really smoke anymore, but anybody would need a little comfort under these circumstances, you think.
“So what are you going to do?” he asks.
“What?” You didn’t know Kai cared about that. “I mean, I guess I’ll talk to her, maybe give her my number, then see—”
“For lunch.”
“Oh.”
You get hoagies together, eating them over a public trash can, standing up. Back at the school you scrub your hands clean in the bathroom and duck Pedro and your camera and you find your way down the second-grade hall to the classroom that's usually the noisiest. It's quiet now: the kids are at the library doing a reading circle with the librarian. Maybe it says something that you know their schedule.
She's in there, glasses low on her nose, working. You pause just on the threshold of the open door. You try to piece together everything you know about her, to make it all fit into the person you see, just a small woman with a love of pleather and a never-ending supply of high-heeled boots, a baseball bat taped under her desk (you've seen it), a guitar propped in one corner of the classroom (does she ever play?), how now she's focused and reading with scrupulous intensity, doubling back on a sentence from time to time, her manicured hand coming up to twitch away a lock of red hair.
You knock on the open door. You see her hand pass under the desk toward the bat before she realizes who's standing there. She cracks a grin, lifting her glasses up to the top of her head. Her eyes travel up and down your body in another look that feels like a touch.
"I was wonderin' when you'd stop by," she says.
You give a little hum. You cross the room to lean against a student's desk, just opposite hers.
"No camera?"
"No," you say, "I wanted it to be just us."
"Huh." She taps her pen on her paper a few times. "You here to let me down easy?" She lifts her chin. The look she gives you isn't intimate now: it's far-removed and challenging, like the gaze of a duelist across a plain. You've seen this before, the way she starts closing herself off, armoring up.
You shake your head. There's a shift in her expression, but the walls don't quite come down. "I guess I wanted to ask what you want."
"That ain't obvious?"
"I mean..." Your arms come up, folding over your chest. "You know, I was here last season, when you were dating that guy... Hulk Hogan."
It surprises a laugh out of her. "Yeah, Gary."
"You asked him out and it was... Different. I mean..." You can't think of how to say it. At last, you say, "Do you take me seriously?" No, that's not it. "I mean, are you just trying to hook up with me? Because, I..." You're starting to burn up again. You rub the back of your neck. "That's not the kind of... Listen, you're beautiful, and sexy, but that's not what it would—I mean, to me, it—"
"You're so cute when you're all shy," Melissa says, sounding equally mystified and amused. She stands. "Look... Maybe I did this all wrong." She circles the desk. "Kinda treated you like a piece of meat."
"Just a little bit," you say.
"I take you serious, hon." She doesn't cross the gap between you two, but mirrors your pose, leaning on the edge of her desk, arms crossed over her chest. "Look, Gare was a nice guy. But he didn't have, you know... He didn't make me wanna..."
You think of Gregory's metaphor. "Shake him like a chew toy?"
Another laugh. "Yeah, that. And I guess I felt... You know, I'd kinda uncorked the bottle, datin' him, when I thought all that part of my life was done, and when you were at my place the other night, you just looked so good, and I just wanted..."
You smile, eyes down. The cold uncertainty is trickling away and there's warmth pouring into the spaces it's left behind. "Okay," you say.
"Okay?"
When you look up, she's moved a little closer. You can smell her perfume again, warmed on her skin over the course of a long day. You've had the privilege of seeing her in detail, so many times: the fine, thin skin around her eyes, the creases at the corners of her mouth that forecast her smile, the tiny hint of gray growing in at her temples, the mellow warmth of her green gaze, the slope of her nose crooking slightly to her left. It's different with no lens between the two of you, when you're close enough to touch.
"Yeah, okay," she says to whatever she sees in your eyes. She lifts her chin and drops her gaze to your mouth. It's a clear request.
You answer it. You dip your head; there's a moment where your noses nearly bump, but you change your angle, catch her lips with yours. There's a tackiness from her lip gloss and an incredible softness underneath. The warmth of her almost shocks you, vivid past your imagining. Her hand pets at your jaw; you feel the other curl into the collar of your shirt. She pulls you closer by the fabric and you gasp.
You renew the kiss, lips sliding over hers. Your hand rubs down her lower back. You can feel the divot in her spine where it meets her pelvis, just above the generous curve of her ass. Before you can overthink it, your palm is gliding over that curve, your fingers digging into its lushness, Melissa gasping against your mouth as you squeeze.
"Oh," she says faintly when the kiss is over and you're catching your breath. "Huh." Her look is glazed and a little bewildered.
"I, um, I don't want to send mixed messages," you say, "but about Friday..."
"Friday?" she echoes.
"Yeah." You bite down on your smile, watching her try to remember what the hell you're talking about. "I was thinking... I know a few magic tricks of my own."
"Oh," she says again. You watch her eyes spark with understanding, her smile appear slowly, then all at once. "I guess you could come over and show me your stuff." Her hands tighten in your shirt and pull you back in for another kiss.
"Hey, gimme your phone," she says, much, much later, when you're wearing more of her lip gloss than she is. "I want to give ya my number." You don't think before you're unlocking it and passing it into her hands. She lowers her glasses from the top of her head to the bridge of her nose and thumbs her way around your phone, creating a contact for herself.
You have a flash of nerves—what if she opens your Instagram and sees all the stupid accounts you follow? A vision comes of her seeing all the dog-using-buttons-to-talk videos you've liked, her libido instantly withering... Then she's giving you back your phone and smirking at you, wiping at your lip with her thumb. "Might wanna stop in the bathroom before you get back to work, hon," she says.
When you leave her classroom, it's like floating; you've never felt so light. You stop in the bathroom and you wipe all the lip gloss off your smiling mouth. You catch yourself humming as you and Kai catch some footage of Ava pretending to organize game night, Gregory trying to involve himself, Janine admitting to a little competitive streak.
Your phone buzzes, chimes. "Sorry," you say to Janine and Pedro, who's leading the interview. You wait until you can lower the camera lens to check the notification. You always keep it silenced during the day—did Melissa turn the ringer on?
Italian Mama iMessage
Your face burns. You take a corner away from Pedro and unlock the phone.
Italian Mama You made me real happy
Your blush intensifies; something flutters in your chest. The phone vibrates in your hand as another message comes.
Italian Mama Don't know how I'm going to wait until Friday
The echo of your own thought in her words makes your heart flutter again. You bite your lower lip and type back, Me neither. An electric spark of daring moves you, makes you send her, Maybe I'll practice some magic just to make sure I'm on top of my game.
Is that too much? You hope not. You've basically made a sex appointment with her for Friday—sex appointment, you think, and wince at yourself, your own awkwardness; it's a date—and you don't—your breath hitches as three dots appear on your screen, showing that she's typing.
Italian Mama Oh yeah?
Italian Mama Better practice hard
You feel a pulse low in your belly. You're ready to type a little more flirtation when another message arrives and makes you gasp aloud, quickly clamping your hand over your mouth before Pedro or somebody else can hear you.
She's sent you a photo. It's herself pulling down the scoop neck of the hot pink blouse she's wearing today. You can see just the tip of her nose, her chin, the proud line of her soft neck, her freckled sternum, and, holy shit. She's showing you her breasts cradled in a bra made of black lace. And you stare. And you stare.
Italian Mama Little incentive for you
Your mouth is watering. You can see the rosy shadows of her nipples against the lace. You barely register yourself typing back, You're perfect.
Italian Mama Thought you'd like em
You're typing before you can stop yourself. All I'll be able to think about now is what I'm going to do to you.
Three dots appear, then disappear. Appear, then disappear. Your confidence wavers.
Italian Mama I want you to tell me
You've never imagined you'd be turned on in the halls of Abbott Elementary, but suddenly you're so aware of your cunt, you can't stand it. You're throbbing. You peer around the corner; Pedro isn't even looking your way, he's talking something over about the schedule with another producer. You have time. You glance up and down the hall; nobody except an aide going into a room at the far end.
Your fingers fly over the keys. If you stop to think, you'll psych yourself out, so you blurt out every thought, the iMessage equivalent of babbling—what you'd be doing in Melissa's ear if you could have her right now, in your arms, again...
You're so fucking sexy
I've thought about you so much
I touched myself thinking about you the other night
I'm going to kiss you until you go crazy and you're so turned on you can't take it
I'm going to undress you and I'm going to kiss every fucking inch of you
I'm going to play with you until you're begging
Do you like it rough or gentle?
Three dots.
Italian Mama Little of both
You're typing again in a flurry. You can feel your heart pounding, your breath coming in harder. You probably only have a couple minutes left to really make her feel it.
I'm going to be so gentle with you until you beg me to be rough
I want to bite you
Do you like being bitten?
Italian Mama Yeah
I know you do
On your neck, on your breasts
I'm going to bite your thighs before I eat you out
"Homie, you coming?" Pedro says, with the best and worst timing—and phrasing—he could possibly have.
"Yeah, one sec," you say, and you're proud of how your voice doesn't wobble at all. "Let me just send this. Sorry."
I have to get back to work
Italian Mama Fuck you
Italian Mama How am I supposed to teach like this
Italian Mama Come here and finish what you fuckin started
You laugh, breathless and surprised. You text her, YOU started it! If she hadn't sent you that picture... You scroll back up and look again. In the bit of her face you can see, she's smirking, because of course she is. The luscious curve of her breasts—you can almost feel them, what it would be like to drag your nose down between them, mouth at the soft skin...
Pedro's waiting. You send her a bunch of blowing-kiss emojis and put your phone away again. You're still buzzing with arousal, but you feel a strange satisfaction, knowing that Melissa is a few halls away, squirming behind her desk, thinking about all the promises you've made.
The day passes, somehow. It's a strange mixture of slow, syrupy boredom and electric, frenetic activity as more preparations are made for game night, and your phone periodically buzzes with another message from Melissa. Thankfully (for your pussy—you think it might fall off if it keeps aching like that), the two of you leave the subject of sex, and just talk.
She asks you your birthday, your favorite food. Where did you grow up? What's your favorite color? Each one makes you smile. You feel like you're on the receiving end of a Schemmenti interrogation, a mob boss with her goons behind her. You get her answers back in turn: July 19. (You respond in shock, You're a water sign??? and you can almost hear her voice when she dryly responds, I got no clue what that means, hon.) Pasta con sarde. Grew up here in South. Pink.
Your heart flutters with every new thing you learn. Even though you go home (and rub one out) alone, she's a presence with you, not just in your fantasies; you find you're texting her until you fall asleep, phone sliding out of your hand onto the bedspread. And when you wake up the next day, preceding your alarm by a bit, you find a text from her waiting for you, just a few minutes ago: Good morning, baby.
You levitate all the way through Thursday. You spot Melissa a few times that day, but it's a packed day for her two classes, so mostly it's in the hall as she marches lines of students to and fro. She gets you back for yesterday, though: pauses in the doorway of her classroom as she's filing the kids in after lunch, and gives you an up-and-down look of such searing intensity that your body heats, scalp to toes. She smirks before she vanishes into her room.
She makes you crazy. God, she's incredible. You're texting her every chance you both can get, though she's sparser while she's with the kids; it's all light stuff. Get lunch here today, she tells you, Shanae made beef patties, and when Shanae slips you a couple of golden-crusted pastries, you bite into them, smelling warm, floral curry, savory beef on your tongue, and think of how Melissa it is, feeding you from a distance.
That afternoon, just after dismissal, she calls, "Hey," to you from her classroom door. You try not to jump to attention. "I gotta do a lot of work," she says, playing with the strap of her Apple Watch, "or I'd ask you over, but..." Strangely, her eyes drop. It's a hint of shyness and it makes your heart patter, tenderness and affection for her pouring into your chest. "I was thinkin', why don't we go out and get, like, food or a drink or somethin' tomorrow? You know, before you come over."
"Okay," you say. Her eyes flick up and as soon as she sees your goofy grin, her shyness melts away, turns back into the smirking self-assuredness you're more familiar with.
"You pick the place," she says, knocking the wind out of you at once.
Oh, crap. You remember what it was like with her and Gary: he tried to take her to a shitty spot for their first date, and she flicked him away from her like a bug. She's challenging you, you think, asking to be impressed.
You can do that. Dark horse, right? "Okay," you repeat. "I'll pick."
She leans back against the doorframe. All at once she's in that lolling, casual, flirtatious posture that she assumes for you and only you, her face tilted up, gaze intimate and a little sly. "You headin' out? I get a goodbye kiss, or what?"
"Okay," you say a third time, and you can barely kiss her, you're smiling so widely. You take your fill of her, in every sense, one more time before you leave for the day, nerves and excitement and that thread of arousal all tangling together, like a knot of live wires.
You're texting her later, because of course you're texting her later. Do you want it to be a surprise?
Italian Mama I dunno
Italian Mama Surprises never seem to work out for me
That gives you a little twinge. You find yourself running the tip of your finger up and down the side of your phone, the way you'd touch her hand or her cheek, if you could. How about just this one? you ask. And if you hate it, I'll never surprise you again?
You wish you could see her face. It would help you know if she's resigned or wary or scared. You don't want her to be antsy or nervous going into tomorrow; you want her to feel like she makes you feel: like you've got balloons and not bones, like a wind could catch you and carry you off, you're so light and so happy.
Italian Mama Ok
Italian Mama I'm gonna trust ya
It makes your heart do its now-familiar flutter in your chest. It's like there's a bird in there, some delicate fledgling thing eager to start flying. It wants to soar, holding its precious cargo: Melissa Schemmenti's trust.
The next day. Friday. Friday. Somehow, the school day rockets past you. Game night preparations have gone disastrously, and it's time for a patented Ava save, with the help of Janine and Gregory.
"Wow, who could've guessed," Kai mutters to you, and fidgets in the pocket you know holds his vape.
Your hand fidgets in your own pocket, around your phone. You and Mel exchanged good morning texts, a few kiss emojis, promises to meet up before dismissal to solidify your plans, but you haven't had a chance to see her at all.
"I don't know," you say, "I think they'll get it figured out."
"I think she's probably going to use it to mine Bitcoin somehow," Kai says.
Honestly, that sounds plausible. You shake your head anyway and make an excuse and scoot past Pedro. He's not encouraging Ava to stream game night live on Instagram, per se, but everybody knows that will guarantee some Coleman-style silliness, so he needs to get her there somehow. (Can you mine Bitcoin through Instagram?)
You don't need to send any directions to your feet; they're already walking you toward the second grade classrooms. Mel doesn't have lunchroom duty today, so you know she'll probably be catching up on two classes' worth of quizzes, or restocking art supplies, or prepping the next lesson's props and tools. Her door is shut and you peek in through the window.
She's writing on the whiteboard, looking back and forth from a worksheet in her hand, glasses on her nose. You knock. When she sees you, the narrow-eyed look of interrupted concentration melts away; she gives you a smile that shows her teeth, the kind that changes her whole face, turning her girlish, almost a little goofy. It makes your heart melt.
You open the door. "Hey," you say as she puts her glasses on top of her head and caps the marker. Being in the room with her, after not seeing her all morning, feels like coming out of the cold to a blazing fire. "Uh, hi. You look beautiful today." Then, for the third time, stupidly, adoringly, "Hi."
"You missed me, huh?" she says, putting down the marker and paper. "C'mere."
As soon as you're in grabbing distance, she takes two handfuls of your ass and pulls you in for a kiss. You're lost in it for long, long seconds.
She pulls back after giving your lower lip a bite that makes you squeak. She tucks her hands squarely in the back pockets of your jeans, holding you against her. "You look beautiful today too."
"Thanks," you say, barely registering the compliment, the way you're chasing more contact, kissing the corner of her mouth, nosing at her cheek. She's so warm in your arms. She's wearing one of her tough-girl outfits, a blazer and matching top in military green, and you sneak your hand under the jacket, finding a little stripe of bare skin between her shirt and her slacks. You touch her there with a teasing trace of your fingernail.
She shivers. Is she sensitive on her lower back? You file it away to investigate later tonight. The thought of being able to have her all to yourself tonight—hours and hours—sends sparks skipping through you. You have to kiss her again.
"You think it's unprofessional, doin' this at work?" Mel asks you breathlessly when you part again.
"I don't know," you say, "but whatever Gregory and Janine have been doing is worse, kind of."
"Yeah, that's for sure," Melissa says, and gives you a third kiss; this time, the delicate muscle of her tongue laps at you, little frissons of heat that go right between your legs.
"I came to talk about dinner," you say at last, when you think you can survive without kissing her.
"Oh, yeah," Mel says, "right. What am I wearin'?"
"Uh..." You hadn't considered it. You're just going in your usual date outfit—a button-up, a nice pair of trousers. "Business casual?"
"Okay, easy. Do I get a hint where we're goin'?" One eyebrow goes up. Her gaze acquires a competitive glint, one you've seen a hundred times through your camera. "I bet I can guess it."
"Here's your hint," you say, "it's not Italian."
"Smart cookie," Melissa says, which leads you both into another kiss, and then another. "It ain't a sandwich shop, is it?"
"No," you say, "I can't beat cousin Rocco."
"Soul food," she says.
"No. I'll come pick you up, is that okay?"
"Yeah, come, like, at five. I gotta change and do my face and stuff." She leans back, giving you a squint-eyed look of scrutiny. "Tell me it ain't French."
"It ain't," you promise, and seal it with a kiss. "I have to go. I'm pretending to be in the bathroom."
"Oh, shit," she says, eyes going wide, "we gotta catch up on this freakin' math unit and I forgot, I haven't peed in, like—"
"Go, go," you say with a laugh, letting her extract her hands from your pockets.
When you return, Kai narrows his eyes at you. You shrug at him and you're ready to get back to work, when he reaches across and plucks something off your shoulder: a single red hair. Crap.
"Damn," he says. "Dark horse."
"What's up?" Pedro glances over at you two. Fuck, you don't know if you can take his teasing today—you know he'll want all the details, and you love him, but you want to just get through work and get to Melissa...
"Nothing," Kai says, and drops the hair. He gives you a nod.
You nod back, warmth and gratitude making you smile. He doesn't smile back—you don't think you've ever seen him smile, actually—but you think you see the corner of his mouth curve up, just a little, as he peers into his camera.
Dismissal, a quick goodbye kiss with Melissa, home to get ready. You're normally an all-black kind of girl—it's just easy—but you pause in your closet and find a pink button-up. It's a mellow, soft shade, the same color as a silky blouse you've seen Melissa wear.
You put on your cologne, you style your hair. You look at yourself in the mirror. It’s funny: this is the same face you’ve always had, but three days of Melissa have done something to you. Your eyes look larger, softer; there’s a smile on your lips, small but persistent, that’s been there all day.
You haven’t always been lucky with women. You have love in your heart—God, a lot of it. Sometimes it feels like the water of an ancient lake, going down almost infinitely deep, and yet somehow about to overflow. You spent years going around offering it to anyone who would take it, and once they’d drunk their fill, they just moved on, satisfied, never giving a thought to you, never thinking you might want something back, even just gratitude.
So you pulled away. You just hurt too easily: keep them at arm’s length, never close enough to bruise. The quiet one, the shy one; that’s who you became over time, knowing that if you gave out of your abundance, you’d only be depleted. No one’s ever filled your cup.
You find yourself chewing your lip, staring at yourself. You want this to be different. You want this to be something else. Can it be?
You park your car in front of Melissa’s and find yourself wondering: text, or knock? You’re starting to get out of the car when the front door opens, and a rush of surprise and pleasure comes at the thought of Melissa waiting, watching for you. Then your breath catches hard in your throat.
She’s wearing a little red dress that… “Wow,” you say, before she’s even close enough to hear. The square neck of the dress is cut lower than her usual wear, and shows an abundance of skin that makes your mouth water. There’s a princessy quality to the cap sleeves, a delicate detail that’s perfect for Melissa: blazing, challenging red, with a hint of sweetness. The hem stops just above her knees. The fabric shows her body in intimate detail, the delicate rounding of her stomach and the flare of her hips, straining across the perfect shape of her thighs.
Her hair is down. Even late in the day it has a bit of curl. Her green eyes are like gemstones in the early evening light. Her heels have got to be four inches, but she walks with the steadiness of a queen. She’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.
You circle the car to get the passenger side door. “Hey,” she says, surprised, coming closer, “it’s pink,” and touches your sleeve. It’s not even contact with your skin, barely contact, period, but it sends tingles up and down your arm. “That’s my favorite color.”
“Yeah, I know,” you say, grinning like a fool.
Her eyes drop—that hint of shyness again, that tenderness that makes your heart strain against your chest, trying to reach her—before they flick back up. “How do I look?”
“I could look at you for hours,” you tell her honestly.
"I'd kiss ya, but you'd mess up my face," she says. "Here, you get one." She turns and offers her cheek.
You're smiling as you lean down to kiss the offered skin. She's soft and warm, and you get the powdery scent of her makeup, the richness of her perfume.
"Now, c'mon, feed me," she says, and you laugh and open her door.
You drive. She's exactly the kind of passenger you expected: "Hey, check it," every time she sees a car nosing out past a stop sign, or "On your left," when you're trying to merge. "Hey," she barks when somebody cuts you off, a gesticulating, accusatory hand in the air, "cazzo, you wanna watch where you're fuckin' going?"
Melissa. Abrasive, loud, bossy, and you don't feel bulldozed at all. You feel charmed. The smile won't leave your face. You don't know if she could be more herself than right now, in your ancient Volvo, wearing the sexiest outfit you've ever seen on her, looking simultaneously bold and delicate and delicious, and hollering out the window like an angry truck driver.
She's checking her phone as you pull up outside the restaurant, and doesn't look up again until you're opening her door. "Oh," she says, surprised, looking at the place: it's a red brick building, no sign; just a single hanging red lantern beside a white door. You can see her trying to puzzle it out, glancing at you and back to the door.
"It's a bar," you explain. You open the door to your favorite izakaya. Low, golden light and warmth spill out with the Jrock playing over the speaker system.
Melissa cocks her head and looks at you curiously. You only notice that her hand's in her clutch purse when she draws it out again; you hear the rattle of her keys dropping back to the bottom. "Thought you might'a been about to take my other kidney," she says. "I was gonna fight ya."
You blink. It's one of those Melissa-isms, delivered in her dry voice, that you think might be a joke, but it might not be, either. "I wouldn't win if you did."
"You sure as hell wouldn't, baby," she says, and lets you hold the door for her as she steps inside.
You love this place. It feels a bit like your first apartment after you left home, a lot of exposed brick, shoddy white paneling creating an accent wall, and decor that's a little vintage, a little silly: a big, ornate mirror that might have once decorated a cheap theater, brass sconces for lights, Gojira posters in the style of classic ukiyo-e. There's booths on one side of the room and a mirrored bar on the other, with a wall of sake and Japanese whisky.
The hostess recognizes you, waves hi, gestures toward the room for you to seat yourself. It won't start filling up until a little later, so you have your pick of the booths; you take the side that puts your back to the door, letting Melissa have the sightline to the exit.
The low light flatters her. Any light flatters her, but there's something about the dim, intimate, golden warmth of it that makes you stare as she studies the menus, first the drinks, then the food; her eyelashes cast delicate shadows on her cheek, the curve of her lips carving lines there.
She looks up and catches you. The thoughtful twist of her mouth turns into a smirk. The question, though, isn't what you were expecting. "What made you pick here?"
Huh. "I..." You rub the back of your neck, dropping your gaze. "I really like it." That's a start, but not all of it. "I thought you might not have this kind of food all the time. I never see you eating it and I wanted you to have a nice change. And..."
"I come here alone a lot." You shrug. "I have... Good memories here." They are good memories: people-watching, trying new drinks and food, chats with the bartenders, a karaoke night where you fell in with a group of laughing, drunk women who all worked at the same office, who tried to persuade you to bar-hop with them until last call.
But it's always been you, alone; sometimes folded in with somebody else out of goodwill, sometimes noticed for your familiar face and your generous tips, spared a few more minutes of a busy mixologist's time, but always a separation, a glass wall between you and the rest of the room. No one's been on this side of it with you before.
"I wanted you to have a good memory," you say, finally. "I wanted to share it with you."
You glance at Melissa. She's watching you with a look you recognize. It's the one she gave you that night at her house—just earlier this week, but it feels like a lifetime ago. It's tender and intent. It's encouraging. Like she's watching a flower bloom.
"It's already a good memory for me, hon," Melissa says. Something nudges your ankle. It's her foot in its killer heel, gently insinuating between both of yours. You feel her knee against yours, your calves aligned together. She smiles at you. "We're here together."
Your heart does one of its aerial flips.
"You sure get shy for somebody who was talkin' about suckin' my tits before, though," she says.
You choke on nothing. Your face and ears burn. She laughs, her head dropping back, the light glinting on her saints' medals.
"Biting," you squeak, when you can get air. "We were talking about biting."
"Biting," she says, "right. How come you can say all that to me but you're nervous tellin' me you like a bar?"
It's not a bad question. You trace the grain of the wooden tabletop for a second or two, eyes down. "I'm used to giving other people what they like," you say. "I don't mean—it's not that I was lying or faking. No way. I meant it, I mean it, everything I say to you. So much, Melissa." You dart a look up to make sure she understands. "I mean, it's easy for me... For other people, I can express..."
Her hand finds yours on the table and stills it. Her manicured finger gently swipes along the curve below your thumb, down to the sensitive inner skin of your wrist, and traces slowly there, back and forth. She's giving you that look again, gentle and focused and intimate. "I get it," she says simply.
A rush of relief fills you, settling the rattle of your anxious nerves. You turn your hand over and hers settles into yours.
The server appears for your drink orders. You order the house sake, and Melissa says, "Yeah, me too." With your small glasses of sake, the two of you pore over the menu, picking a few things Melissa knows, a few things she's never had before.
The first few plates come out: shumai, hamachi, a bowl of spicy pickle. She gets pieces of toro, unagi, and salmon, and you get a roll and a plate of chashu buns. She gives those a look of pure lust.
"Take one," you say, and push the plate toward her.
She doesn't hesitate. At her first bite, she lets out a guttural moan that goes right between your thighs. You're suddenly much more aware of her ankle still caught between both of your own.
"You think I could get this recipe?" she says of the chashu after the bun has vanished.
"I think you can get whatever you want." Especially from you, especially if she keeps making those noises.
"I sure can," she says with a flirtatious bat of her eyelashes.
You've seen Melissa eat before, scraping the last bite of salad out of a tupperware or sipping from a Stanley Tucci mug, but it's different like this, sharing a meal. You love watching her small, plump hands with her chopsticks, her drinks; you love her expressive eyes, the way they widen or flutter shut at a perfect bite. Everything she tries she makes you try—insistent, "Here, you taste," like you're not the one who's had the whole menu before, and you oblige, trying to taste it for the first time, like her, letting each one blossom over your tongue, letting yourself fall under her spell.
The bar is packed by the time you're through and she's nibbled her way through a couple of frozen mochi. "We gotta come back here," she declares as the two of you leave, hand in hand. "I wanna try more. You got good taste."
"Yeah, I do," you say, looking at her. It's full dark now, but the streetlights and the moon illuminate her, outlining her red hair in silver, the shape of her hips.
"You gonna take me home now?" she says. She moves closer. "You made a lotta promises, you know."
"I know." Your hands settle on her hips. She tilts her head up; you catch her lips, tasting the plum wine you two shared. It's your first real kiss of the night, and she's mellow, soft, delicious. Still, you tell her, "We don't have to, tonight. I want to, but I don't want you to think..."
"I know," she says, and gives you another kiss. "If I thought you were buyin' dinner to make me put out, I would'a had way more food." Another kiss. "Come on, let's go. Or maybe you don't wanna get lucky?"
You drive back to Melissa's place, her hand on your thigh the whole way. Back over the welcome mat that reads GO AWAY, into the picture-lined place where it all started over a glass of wine.
Melissa takes your coat and her own and gives you her back, hanging them up in a closet by the front door. "I can get you another drink," she's saying, but all you can see is the back of her dress: the silver line of the zipper running from collar to hem, almost invisible.
You move closer and she stiffens when she feels you there, your chest to her back. You gather her hair, move it aside. Above the collar of the dress you can see the line of her nape and the muscle where her neck and her shoulder join. You lean down and kiss it.
Breathing in, you can smell her perfume again, her makeup again. Now, her skin. It's a scent you couldn't begin to describe, something living and animal and sensuous. And her hair: warm, intimate, a little bit of hairspray. You kiss the side of her neck.
"You have no idea," you say quietly. You nose against the shell of her ear. Its soft cartilage is cold from the night air outside, but warming quickly, flushing pink as you kiss it. "You have no idea how gorgeous you are. You don't know what you've been doing to me."
You lift your hands and find the tongue of the zipper. Her breath hitches. You slowly draw it down. The rasp of it is loud between your bodies.
The band of her bra. Red lace. Down her back to the luscious curvature of her hips. You're holding your breath. Her panties are red lace, too, a high-waisted thong that hugs her belly and hips but, oh, fuck: leaves her ass almost totally fucking bare. Of course, in that clinging dress. Couldn't risk panty lines.
"Jesus fucking Christ," you say, and slide the dress fully off her body. It's a puddle of red fabric on the floor. You push her chest-first against the closet door and drop to your knees.
"Oh my God," she says weakly as you hold her hips and kiss your way up the back of one thigh, then the other. The flesh here is dimpled with cellulite, a mark of her perfect abundance. You nose over the curve of her ass and bite one cheek and she squeaks and gives a weak, "Huh," afterward, like she'd surprised herself, and you bite the other cheek and her hips rock back into you.
She's still in her heels. You're starting to smell her sex. You think about having her bend over and put her hands against the door and let you eat her from behind until her knees shake and give out. Fuck, you want to, but you've been making promises; you have plans.
You straighten back up, brushing kisses up the line of her spine. "I want to see your bedroom."
"Fuck," she says dizzily. "Okay. Uh..." She starts to step away from the closet door and for the first time all night, she wobbles in her heels. She gives a little growl of frustration that's so Melissa you can't help but laugh, making her glower your way as she toes out of the shoes.
She leads you up to her bedroom. The big bed is made, but there are plenty of signs of life: the vanity against one wall, scattered with makeup; the bedside table with a dog-eared book and a pair of her glasses; there's a bra tossed over the cracked closet door.
She turns to face you, unself-conscious, and grabs you for another kiss, deep, dirty, her tongue licking into your mouth. "Can't believe you wore my favorite color," she says breathlessly, and starts fumbling with the buttons of your shirt. "God, you look so hot."
Your shirt's halfway open when you get your mouth on her neck. She groans, hands loosening on the fabric. Soft, right along the line of her jaw, under her chin, down her throat where you feel a moan vibrate through the skin. "Harder," she says.
You stay soft. The hollow of her throat, her clavicle. You nose one strap of her bra. She whines, "Harder," and grips your hair.
"I told you," you say. "I'm going to make you beg." She gasps. Your cunt pulses. You wonder if the same thing happened in her classroom that day, if she sat at her desk squirming, little hitches of her breath betraying her.
You squeeze her ass and she sways into you. Your hands shape her hips, up her sides, over her back, feeling the landscape of it, the valley of her spine. You trace the band of her bra. It's so pretty, you almost don't want to take it off.
"Where's your vibrator?" you ask.
"Huh?"
"Your vibrator," you patiently repeat, and lean back. You see in her eyes when it clicks. She leans away from you toward the nightstand, pulling open the top drawer. Inside, there's a pack of melatonin gummies, a lavender and chamomile room spray, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels, and a hot pink wand vibrator. Her sleep aid drawer, you realize.
You pick up the toy. It has a good weight, and the silicone is almost as soft as her skin. You find the power button, click it on, and cycle with a few presses through the three strength settings. You settle back on the first one and test it against the inside of your wrist, feeling the rumble against the sensitive skin there.
You look up again and Melissa's sitting on the edge of the bed. She's breathing hard, staring at you, and she's blushing.
"Lay back against the pillows for me, baby."
She scoots back, gives you a challenging look, and spreads her legs. You can really smell her, a thick, rich, saline scent that makes your mouth water. The drawer's still open and you spot a small bottle of lube; you take it out just in case, then slide the drawer shut.
"You gonna get naked?" she says as you join her on the bed.
"Not yet," you say and kiss her again. And again. The vibrator sits on the mattress, turned off, and you want to make her forget it's there. You take your time, licking at the serrated edge of her teeth, sucking on her lower lip until she's whimpering.
You couldn't have imagined that sound coming from Melissa Schemmenti. You chase it, have to have it again. Her lipstick is smeared, almost gone. She keeps tugging on your hair as you kiss her, starting to squirm beneath you, saying things like "More," and "Harder," but not please—not yet.
She slides down against the pillows, laying herself more fully under your body, and the motion makes the vibrator roll down the mattress to bump her side. Her breath speeds up all over again, and her eyes flick from it to you.
You pick up the toy and click it on. "Keep your legs spread."
"Oh, fuck yes," Melissa says, then whines aloud when you touch the vibrator not to her clothed pussy, but to the inner crease of her thigh. "Fuck, c'mon."
"C'mon, what?" You trail the vibrator up the inside of her thigh, toward her knee, and back down again.
"You know—" her breath stutters when you switch legs. "You know what I want."
"And you know what I want."
That makes her moan. Her head drops back, her chest heaving. You lean down to kiss her sternum, to finally nose against one perfect breast, the way you've hungered for it since that photo. The lace of her bra scratches your cheek. You can feel her nipple through the cup, taut against the fabric. You bring the vibrator up and tease its rumbling head over that peak, making her shudder, then replace it with your mouth, letting her feel the heat and wet, just barely, still separated from you by her bra.
"God, fuck," she says, "fuck you," and you switch breasts, teasing her other nipple to aching stiffness. You nuzzle the skin that her bra offers up, the plump perfect roundness of her breast, part your lips, drag your teeth over it. She's so soft here, so much, and it's perfect. Your hand drops with the vibrator and you trace it over her hip toward her sex, making her squirm, as you busy yourself with soft bites and sucks.
You change your angle a little, propping a hand against the pillows so you can lean over her. Your body casts a shadow and her green eyes look up at you from beneath it, somehow both pleading and mutinous. You idle the vibrator back up along the waistband of her underwear and then slowly down toward her cunt, playing it over the plumpness of her mons.
"Fuck," she says, "fucking fuck you, okay, please," and you smile. "Please, I said please, will you fucking please—"
You bring the wand down over her pussy. Her head rolls back and she groans, starting to squirm. "Pull down your bra for me," you say.
"What?" Her voice, face, are foggy and vague, but after a few seconds she understands, lifting her hands to tug down the bra's cups, showing you her perfect breasts. They're begging for your mouth, and you promised her you'd give her what she wanted when she begged, didn't you?
You drop your head. Kiss over one breast, then the other. Mouth at the flesh—so fucking soft, so good against your lips, sucked into the wetness of your mouth. The tops of her breasts have a small scattering of freckles that you have to dust in turn with adoring kisses. Her hard nipple brushes your cheek and you draw it past your lips as you trace the wand vibrator up and down, from her clit to the entrance of her cunt, back again, never letting it linger.
You switch to her other nipple, leaving her breast damp and reddened from your mouth. Her head tosses back and forth against the pillows as she whines, squirms, moans, says, "Fuck," and, voice breaking a little, "You're still fuckin' teasin' me—please, please, I said it, please—"
The words, her need, are electricity surging straight to your aching clit. Your voice is a rasp to match her own when you lift your head and breathe in her ear, "You sound so good like this, Melissa." She gives a broken whimper. "You're so perfect. I'll give you more. I promise. I'll take care of you. Take your panties off for me, sweetheart."
With a grateful sob she lifts her hips and shoves her underwear down her thighs, no further. You flash on that fantasy you had of her, getting off after a school day, slacks and panties around her knees as she fucked herself. Looks like you were right.
"You might need," she starts to say, but you're already reaching across to pick up the bottle of lube. You click off the vibrator and let her watch you drip the lube over your fingers, slicking them up. She's panting harder and harder just watching you.
With your other hand freed from the vibrator, you can pull the thong all the way off her legs, leaning back on your knees to do it. You push one thigh then the other wide apart. Her pussy is plump and gorgeous, red and swollen, her own wetness gleaming from between her spread labia. You add to it: the softest touch of your fingertips against her sex, trailing up and around the peak of her clit, not touching it directly.
She makes a noise you can barely describe, a groan of misery and arousal and desperation. Sliding your fingers back down toward the heat of her cunt, slipping one slowly inside, watching her as you do it. Her eyelashes flutter, her lips parting. Once you're sure she's wet enough, you add a second finger. The lube and her own gathering wetness makes a slick, dirty sound as you begin to stroke inside her, all delicacy, all torment.
"Oh, fuck," she says, "don't stop, Jesus Christ, please, don't stop, I need it, I, I..." Now she's babbling, the way she's made you do, one hand fisted in the bed covers, the other grabbing your wrist. "I need it so bad, I need you to fuck me, I've been waitin', please..."
"You've been waiting?" It occurs to you that this version of Melissa, already begging, might be willing to tell you some embarrassing truths. "How long?"
"Since we met," she gasps. "Since—oh, fuck..."
Since you met? That was the very first day of shooting—getting all the establishing shots, the very first moments and interviews. She intimidated you—her and Barbara both did—but Barbara, at least, gave a little, showed a bit of herself to the camera. You remember how Melissa was, arms folded over her chest, cool and hostile with Pedro as he tried to coax her out, get her to introduce herself.
Her eyes had moved from him to you, looking past the camera. "You Sicilian?" she'd asked you. She smiled at you that day and it transformed her sullen, cagey face, turned her, however momentarily, sweet. "Italian?" she'd continued, then her eyes darted from you to Pedro, over to the boom mic guy, trying to get a read on all of you. "You from South?" Her smile vanished. Her voice tightened up again: "Okay, you guys workin' with the cops? 'Cause you gotta tell me."
You reward her for the honesty with a press of your palm against her clit. Her hips jerk up. "I remember that day."
Her head drops back again, her eyes squeezing shut. The words leave her in a breathless rush: "You were so cute'n I hated the cameras but whenever you were there I would just—and you were always so, you were gentle, and—I always knew when you were lookin' at me—"
"I was looking at you every chance I got." You watch her face as you begin to ease a third finger inside her. This one has to burn a little; you can feel her body, resistant at first, starting to stretch to take it, and you don't push; you wait to see her eyes open again, their needy, yielding look. She lets go of the covers to grab one leg under her knee and pull it wider apart to help you. You add a little more lube, just in case, not wanting to hurt her.
"I was always looking at you, Melissa." She stares up at you. There's a crease between her brows, her swollen lips parted; she looks stunned, overwhelmed, face pink, as you slide that third finger inside her.
"I was always looking at you," you repeat, and begin to gently fuck her. Her cunt opens for you and desperately clenches against your fingers, grasping and irregular, trying to keep you. "You're so beautiful. I always wanted you. I thought you were the sexiest, meanest—" that surprises a panting laugh from her—"woman I'd ever seen. You were so smart, so funny—you protected everyone, and you took care of everybody—" her eyes squeeze shut. "Let me take care of you now."
You reach over and pick up the vibrator. You click it on. Her eyes open again at the sound of its buzz. You press the button again, then a third time, bringing it to its strongest setting. Melissa's eyes are huge. She's panting, staring, knowing what you're about to do, and the look of vulnerability and desire on her face, her smeared lipstick, her messy hair, she's perfect, so perfect, and you need to make her come now.
"I need it," you tell her, holding her gaze. "I need it. Let me feel it, Melissa." You bring the vibrator to her swollen, begging clit.
A moment of nothing but her breath caught in her chest and her wide-eyed gaze on yours. Her pussy clamps down around your fingers and you feel the ripples of her orgasm start before she drops her head back and gives a wounded, animal cry.
You chase the waves of her climax, fucking her through them, coaxing them toward you; you rub the head of the vibrator along her slippery clit. Her head tosses back and forth on the pillow like it's too much, but her hand still grasps your wrist, keeping you right where you are, and her hips are working, riding your fingers.
"I can't," she starts saying when she can heave a breath back into her lungs, "I can't, I can't, oh, please—" you click the vibrator off and throw it aside; it nearly rolls off the mattress. You spread the lips of her pussy wide and you lean down and bite one shaking thigh, then the other, then seal your lips over her swollen, tender clit.
Fuck the vibrator: this is your new favorite toy. You play with it and play with it and Melissa comes again, or keeps coming, you're not sure which. One leg goes over your shoulder and her hips twitch and writhe until you have to hold her down.
"Oh my G—oh my God, oh, baby," then, just chanting over and over again, like you could ever tell her no again, like you can deny her anything in the world: "Please, please, please..."
Anything she wants. The whole fucking world, if it were yours to give. You suck and lick at her cunt as her hands find your hair and yank.
How long can she go for? How many times can you make her come? You want to know. You want to fuck her until she faints. But that's not for tonight—not without planning, not without her consent—so when she starts making airy noises that are weak and almost pained, you ease off, slowing your mouth and fingers, letting her come down.
You rub her hips and thighs and her soft belly, and give light kisses to the mound of her pubis. She stops pulling on your hair, grip going slack at first; then, as she comes back into herself by slow degrees, she scratches her nails gently against your scalp.
Kisses for her stomach, her ribs. "Here, baby," you whisper, and reach under her body; she lifts up so you can unhook her bra, sticky fingers brushing her skin. You ease it off and drop it to wherever her panties went. She's nude under you now, flushed all over, body loose and relaxed against the mattress; you pet every inch of her you can reach.
You cup her cheek. Her head turns into the contact. There's sweat gleaming along her hairline and her upper lip. Her eyes, mascara and liner blurred, open to meet yours; her gaze is bleary at first, then sharpens.
You expect another fuck-you, or a joke, or even a "thanks, I needed that," but what she says is, "Now you sit on my face."
Your mind whites out. It's possible you forget the English language for a second or two. When you're back from wherever your soul departed to, she's pulling on the buttons of your shirt, brow knit and wearing an impatient little scowl, yanking the last ones open. "What?" you say weakly.
"I said," Melissa says, fully herself again, no longer the begging, needy, squirming creature of minutes ago, "now you sit on my face. C'mon. Get this off." She grabs the buckle of your belt and works the tongue out of it with a metallic clink.
"I," you say, "I," and she drags your trousers down your legs. You have to lean back off her to get them and your underwear all the way off. Your shirt still hangs open, showing your bra, your bare stomach. She leans up to kiss your sternum with an open mouth, tongue flickering hot against your skin.
"I told you," she growls against your neck, "to sit on my fuckin' face," and there's no more of anything in your world but her, you scrambling up onto your knees, spread wide, her sliding down the bed to get under your cunt.
You falter for a moment; she grabs your hips and yanks you down. There's no playing, no teasing. She drags the flat of her tongue up the folds of your pussy and takes your clit into her mouth and sucks. Her green eyes are open and staring up at you and you see your own dazed pleasure reflected in them.
It takes about five embarrassing seconds before you come in her mouth. She moans loudly against you and tries to hold you where you are, but your legs are shaking badly; imagine if you broke her nose the first night, God—you lift one knee so you can get off of her and drop onto your back.
She follows you. Clambers on top of you intently but unsteadily, still wobbling from her own orgasms, and kisses sloppily down your stomach to get back to your pussy.
"Melissa—" you're gasping, and she's putting her tongue inside you, angling her head to get it in as far as she can. She licks, sucks, wraps her arms around your hips and holds you against her as you try to buck away. The wet noises of her mouth against your cunt are obscene.
You come again, and maybe one more time, you're not sure; your mind blanks again. When you can think, feel, process again, she's giving little kitten licks to your sensitive sex that send shudders up your whole body.
"Okay," you say. Your throat hurts a little—how much noise were you making? You clear it. "Okay. You win." You tap out on the mattress like a boxer. She's wearing a look of supreme satisfaction as she lets you go, her face covered in slick wetness, her makeup a disaster, her hair a messy tangle. She's so beautiful. Your heart does a now-familiar backflip.
She crawls up your body and flops onto her side next to you, curling onto your chest. There's long minutes of just you two breathing, the sound filling the room, a tingling starting in your pussy that you know is the herald of after-sex soreness, her damp fingertips tracing idly on your skin.
You start to smooth out her hair. It'll take a shower and a comb to really fix—maybe you'll suggest it. You trail your fingers down and follow the freckled curve of her shoulder, the roll of flesh on her side along her ribs, the dip of her waist before it opens onto the perfect field of her hips and ass.
Her eyes flick up to yours. They're softer and happier than you've ever seen them; the look on her face is gentle and content. You bring your questing hand up to cup her cheek. She kisses your thumb.
"I'm hungry again," she declares.
A laugh bursts out of you, full of affection. "What?" she says, clearly about to be offended, but before she can go any further, you pull her fully into your arms, wrap around her and squeeze.
You press your face into her neck and inhale, smelling her sweat and skin and sex. "You're perfect for me," you say into that warm curve, muffled against her skin. "You're just perfect." You peck a kiss onto her jaw and lean back to touch her cheek again. "Should we make something? Do you want pasta?"
She grins at you. It's that big, Cheshire smile you saw on her face a few days ago, telling Barbara about how she shot her shot, full of preening satisfaction. She leans in and brushes your nose with hers.
"I knew I picked right," she says, simply, happily. She laces her fingers with yours. "Come on, I got a robe you could wear. You like carbonara?"
She leads you off the rumpled bed. You can see you've left a blurry pink bite mark on one cheek of her perfect ass. She brings you a fuzzy shortie robe ("I like your legs, baby, lemme see 'em") and puts on a silk one herself, and takes your hand again as she opens the bedroom door.
You feel good. You're happy. You realize as she brings you to the kitchen, to the very heart of her home, that you're not alone anymore.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Author's Note:
I received the following prompt from an anonymous reader on Tumblr:
"can you write some fluffy smut for Mel x reader where everyone thinks Mel would be in charge in the bedroom because she’s so tough and reader is so shy. but actually reader takes care of Mel."
Back when Season 2 was airing, I saw a few fan posts saying that Lisa Ann had suggested there was a cameraperson on the crew that Melissa thought was cute, which led to the rare scenes where Melissa opens up to the camera. I'm not sure if this is accurate to what she said, but that idea has stuck with me. When I received the above prompt, it went into a blender with that thought, and this is the smoothie that resulted.
I hope I've done justice to this lovely prompt!
813 notes · View notes
makeyoumine69 · 6 months
Text
Spit In My Face
— PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader
— SUMMARY: Fashion Week is in full swing in New York City and Patrick Bateman doesn't miss the chance to show you the world of luxury and beauty. So, he invites you to attend the fashion show with him. Through the chain of events that unfold there, you will see a new side of Mr. Bateman that you never knew existed.
— CONTAINS: Angsty romance, smut, toxic behavior, gaslighting, cheating, misogyny, hurt/comfort, seduction, swearing, flirting, sensual kisses & touches, jealousy, implications of self harm & panic attacks, (almost) character death, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering, rough sex, finger sucking, spanking, biting, manhandling, choking, orgasm control, dry humping, nipple play, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, body worship, Daddy kink, Praise kink, pet names, dirty talk, Service!Dom!Patrick Bateman being an asshole (again).
— WORDS: 21k (oops)
— SONG REC: ThxSoMch - Spit In My Face
— A/N: Hey guys! It took me a year to finally finish this and I decided to post all the parts together since most of you probably forgot what happened in the previous ones (I'll delete the old posts). I did some extra editing before posting and I hope you like it and I'm happy to get back to writing and soon I'll be rebooting the Cupcake series as I've already started working on prequels. Love you all!
— LINKS: [MASTERLIST];[SERIES MASTERLIST].
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Fashion, grace, money, wealth, these were the words running through your head as you rode in the taxi, and you couldn't believe Patrick had just convinced you to go to the goddamn Dior boutique. Not to mention the upcoming fashion show you were going to together, which was an actual nightmare for you and your nervous system.
“I really can’t understand. Why me?” You asked Bateman, turning in his direction to see him looking through the window, with his headphones on. And of course, he didn’t hear you. 
All you could do was give him a shy tap on the shoulder. You heard the loud beats of rock music as he opened one of his ears and turned to face you. "What?"
His slightly annoyed intonation almost discouraged you from repeating your question. "I'm just wondering why you decided to invite me to this fashion show when you have much better options." 
You watched him frown, and before you continued, you already knew what Patrick was going to say: "Cupcake, I've told you several times. I want to show you the beauty of being rich. I bet you've never seen so many fabulous people in one place."
Sighing a little sadly, you fixed your coat to distract yourself from the burning anger in your chest. "I've had enough of the rich snobs in our company and…I’m not a fan of all these 'luxurious’ things, you know…”
With a small chuckle, Bateman removed his headphones completely, quickly checking his haircut in the window's reflection. 
"Of course you're not. How can you be a fan of things you can't afford?" He stated before trying to hug your shoulders, but when he saw your intense expression, he just gently put his palm on your knee.
"Money is not happiness," you cast a serious look at him, brushing his hand away from your leg. "Can you call yourself a happy man?"
Perplexed, Patrick knitted his eyebrows, as if your question had caught him off guard —you have never seen him so lost before and that was really strange. Fidgeting in his place, Bateman was certainly about to replay something when you heard the raspy taxi driver’s voice:
“We’ve arrived.”
"Thank you!" You responded before quickly getting out of the cab without waiting for Patrick to pay for your ride.
Obviously, you were upset and pissed off because of his endless snobbish dialogues about rich people, money and how much his regular suit cos—tnone of this really interested you, would he ever understand that?
As soon as you were outside, you felt a stiff wind blowing through your hair, ruffling it and making your mischievous locks cover your face. Quickly, you brushed them away and raised your eyes to the beautiful sign that read "Dior" in large letters; so stylish, so plush—just the way he liked it.
"Are you going to stand here forever?" Bateman scolded behind your back, his loud footsteps forcing you to spin around. 
"I'm so amazed, I can't even move," you sarcastically sneered, staring at the window of the boutique. "The aura of richness has just overwhelmed me."
"How witty," Bateman almost applauded you, his lips curling into a cheeky grin as he came closer, his muscular arms wrapped around your waist. "Come on, let's go inside." With a light push on your back, he induced you to move forward, his arms never left your little form. 
When you finally reached the entrance of the store, Patrick gallantly opened the door in front of you and looked at you from above, his eyes glowing with an unfamiliar tenderness.
"Much obliged..." You stammered as he somehow managed to grab your ass, stroking it and squeezing your buttock a little through your coat. Embarrassed, you turned to face him, but Bateman just smiled in his usual smug way. 
"My pleasure." He murmured in your ear before letting you go.
Once inside the boutique, you heard someone greeting Patrick with undisguised excitement:
"Mr. Bateman! It's so nice to see you again!  Welcome to Dior, we are so happy to help you."
'Again, huh?' You chuckled to yourself, turning your gaze to a side and wondering about the number of his visits and how many girls had been here before; Bateman’s face changed almost immediately as if he noticed your reaction.
“Thank you for the warm welcome, Mr. Graham,” you could definitely hear some tense notes in his tone. “You look great as always!”
The guy let out a little giggle; he seemed to enjoy the compliments as much as your yuppie boy. “Not as perfect as you!” he pointed his both index fingers at Patrick, and now was his turn to grin from being praised. “How can I help you?”
“Uh, I need a dress for…” he paused before staring at you, his eyes gliding over your completely relaxed expression. “For my good friend, but she doesn’t really know what she likes,” ‘good friend, with whom he slept almost every day. Nice shot, Bateman.' “Don’t cha, baby?” While saying that, Patrick groped your cheek, pinching it a bit.
Mr. Graham, who was supposed to be a local stylist, gave two of you a suspicious glare, and only then did Patrick understand what he was doing, pulling his hand away as if it had been burned. 
"Well, if the young lady doesn't mind, we can try something to your taste, Mr. Bateman," the stylist confirmed, examining you like a statue. "What do you think?"
"Great idea," Patrick exclaimed, pulling you into his arms to take off your coat. You almost fell into his embrace, whimpering as he 'accidentally' touched your boobs, squeezing them gently. 'Fuck, why should he be so obnoxious?' "I can't wait to see my Cupcake in one of these beautiful dresses." He whispered before leaving a tiny peck on your neck.
"That's very sweet of you, but..." you murmured, looking into his hazel eyes. "I don't think I'll fit into those dresses."
"Don't worry, honey." Bateman winked at you and gave you a quick slap on your butt to nudge you toward Mr. Graham, whose smile widened the longer he watched the two of you together.
“Please, follow me.”
Trying to distract yourself from all the bad thoughts, you just did what you were told and moved along countless hangers with new dresses. The further you got away from Patrick, the more insecure you became, and that strange feeling made your whole body shiver like from a cold shower.
“So, which color do you want to try on first? Maybe something dark?” the man asked you, sliding his hand across the beautiful fabric of some dress nearby. “Dark blue or dark red…Or even black?”
"I really like the black color, it goes with almost everything."
Mr. Graham chuckled amusedly and handed you a black cocktail dress, which of course was very short. Apparently Patrick didn't like long dresses or skirts, you already knew that, but that didn't mean you were happy about it.
“Mm-mh, and I think this one can fit too,” he gave you another dark blue dress before adding. “I still recommend you to have a look at our new collection, maybe you’ll find something interesting.”
“Maybe you’re right,” you sighed and smiled sincerely for the first time of the day. "Those amazing dresses I saw when we just entered are from a new collection?"
“Yes, Miss.”
"I'll check them out. And… thank you, Mr. Graham." Excited, you smiled again, and then you strolled away, a pile of dresses in your hands.
Once you reached the place you had been before, you heard multiple voices—one of them definitely belonged to Patrick while another one seemed to be unknown to you.
"What are you doing here?" You peeked out from behind the hangers to see a beautiful blonde girl, her face literally glowing with enthusiasm. "I'm so glad to see you, it's been a while." You didn't even have to look to know what she did next as the loud pecking sound echoed in your ears as if you had been hit with something hard.
The blonde left a small kiss on Patrick's cheek before he replied. "Good to see you too, Meredith."
“Are you here alone?”
“Mm-mhhm,” Bateman looked around and when he didn’t spot you, he added almost emotionlessly. “Yeah, you can say that.”
An instant pain burned in your chest, causing your hands to cling to the dress you were holding. Breathing heavily, you were about to send everything to hell and just leave, but for some reason, you decided to listen to their conversation, maybe you would learn something else about yourself being nothing but an empty place.
"So, are you going to the fashion show this weekend?" She asked cautiously, as if testing his line.
"Sure," they looked into each other's eyes for a while. "You know, I never miss things like that."
The way she giggled, forced you to close your ears from cringe, but that unpleasant sound kept bouncing in your head.
"Do you have a date or not?"
"Why do you ask?" Bateman retorted in a stern but concerned tone.
"I just... I thought maybe we could go together?" Flirtatiously, she pulled him closer, pretending to fix his coat.
"I'm sorry, but the answer is no." Frowning, he quickly took her hand away.
Ashamed, she stepped back and stalled. "You could just say you already have someone to go with and…"
Patrick scowled in irritation, cutting her off. "I'd still say 'no' even if I didn't…"
"Miss, did you find something you like?" Mr. Graham's sudden voice made you jerk and drop the super expensive dress with a thud.
It felt like all eyes were on you at that moment, and you didn't really know what to do other than quickly pick up the dress and act naturally. “God, I’m so sorry…I can be so clumsy sometimes!” You apologized, trying to ignore Bateman’s intense gaze. 
"Don't worry, Miss… it's not a problem!" The stylist assured you, matching his words with reassuring gestures.
"I'll pay for everything,” Patrick pronounced it so calmly and with absolute confidence, as he moved in your direction. “Have you finished?” 
First, you cast a confused glance at him, and then you looked at Meredith, her mad stare of disbelief almost making you laugh. “I think so,” you murmured, watching him getting closer. “I even got some of the new collection.”
“Ahh, is it so?” he teased, standing face to face with you. “Come on, let Daddy see what you’ve got.”
With that said, Patrick leaned over to your lips, and you let him pull you into a deep kiss, which was pretty surprising—your own behavior almost scared you, as you didn’t even care about people watching you making out. Deftly, he grabbed your waist to lift you up, but your audible protest compelled him to stop.
“Pat-Patrick…” you whispered against his mouth. “P-please, don’t forget where we are…”
“I know, I know,” he snickered softly, hiding his face in the curve of your neck. “I just missed my Cupcake so much.”
With a dull grin on your face, you pulled away from him to look into his dark brown eyes. "Really?" After you asked that, you glanced at the blonde girl behind his back, who was now talking to a middle-aged woman, probably the assistant.
“Time literally stopped for me when you left.” 
'What a beautiful flattery.'
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After a while, you changed into the next dress because all the previous options didn't get Bateman's attention, even though you really liked them. You were struggling with a clasp when you heard him whine in anticipation.
“Baby, did you fall asleep in there?”
“Almost ready!” You blurted out before fixing the dress straps on your shoulders.
And then you walked out of the dressing room to the circular runway, and yes, this boutique had a special VIP area with a fucking runway.
"Finally, my favorite style," Patrick flattered, sitting in the leather chair and holding a glass of mineral water with a little lime. "Mm-mm, this dress outlines your tits so perfectly, not gonna lie, I like it."
A bit humiliated, you were constantly fixing the hem of the dress as it was too short for you, especially when Bateman was looking at you so vigilantly, making you feel yourself like a picture in some art gallery.
"Baby, turn around and…" he paused, crossing his long legs and pressing a finger to his lips. "Stop crawling! Square your shoulders and straighten your back!"
You turned around, unable to hide your sadness. "I… I don't feel comfortable in this. It's too short," you glanced at his annoyed face, wondering if you should continue. "I'm almost naked!"
"But that's the point!" Patrick tilted his hand to the side and was silent for quite a while, clearly thinking about something. "You know what, Cupcake?"
“What?”
"I'll be honest, this dress is amazing, but… unfortunately not on you," he scoffed before taking a sip of water. "It's not a problem, honey. Just take it as motivation to be better."
Biting your lip, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't try to hide your pain and resentment, but your voice sounded dejected anyway. “Of course… keep pretending that you didn’t expect this…”
Humming to himself, Bateman squinted his eyes and leaned on his knees. “Expected what?”
“That these slutty dresses wouldn't fit me,” you glared at him, your body was yearning to get rid of this dress as quickly as possible. “Goddamn, I have enough of this…I hope you enjoyed this little performance!”
After saying that, you turned around and went back into the dressing room. Trembling with rage, you didn't even care what would come next as the searing flame of injustice overtook your mind. No way would you allow anyone to treat you like that.
"Shit!" You cursed as you attempted to undo the fucking clasp on your back, but it didn't seem to work. 
"If you keep pulling like that, you'll tear it apart for sure," his unexpectedly gruff baritone shot through your back like an arrow. "Let me help you."
"No!" You almost screamed, turning sharply to face him. Your chest rose and fell so abruptly that you thought you would choke on the air.
Sneering, Bateman gently extended a hand as if you were a wild beast he planned to tame. “Cupcake,” he was getting closer, forcing you to walk backwards. “Tell me…what’s wrong?”
"What's wrong?" You kept stepping back until you suddenly bumped into the wall behind you. "Maybe you should ask yourself first?"
"I think you should stop pouting or you will get wrinkles," he tried to be nice to you, but it only made you more upset. "I don't think either one of us wants that to happen, am I right, honey?"
“Stop it, Patrick…”
“Mm-mhh, it’s just Patrick now?” You didn’t even notice that his massive figure was already towering over you, pressing you a little against the wall. “No ‘Daddy’ anymore?”
Possessively, Patrick strived to cup your face, but you flinched away from his touch, coaxing a warning growl to break from his perfectly shaped lips.
 “Can you just leave and let me change?”
“Jesus, (y/n)...you’re acting like a stubborn child!”
Panting, you leaned your hands against his firm chest to push him away a bit. "Do you really think I'm in the mood…after all the rude things you said?"
He chuckled, looking at you from above and giving you a feeling of being so small compared to him, you almost stopped breathing. “Rude things?” laughing again, Bateman trapped you between his arms as he put them from both sides of your head. “I always say what I think, there’s nothing special about it…”
"More likely, you always think only of yourself," your voice wavered, and you found it hard to breathe, as if he was sucking all the oxygen out of the air. "Let's just skip this, if you still want me to go with you..."
“No, I don’t need you to do me a favor.” Patrick shushed you with a finger, pressing it against your lips, leaving you trembling like a leaf. 
“And I don’t need your help!” You tried to break away, but he kept you in one place. 
“Oh, is that so, honey?” he crooned in a sweet tone, rubbing his nose against yours; his seductive aura was almost intoxicating, it was corrupting your mind stronger than anything else in this world. “Honestly, I just wanted to help you undo the clasp but now… now, I want more than that…”
With no delay, Bateman covered your mouth his heated one, wrapping his brawny hands around your quivering frame and spreading your legs with his knee. Suffocated, you didn’t react, feeling his hard bulge brushing against your mound—a muffled moan of sudden pleasure pierced through your bonded lips, sending chills down you spin; your cute reaction didn’t surprise him, but Patrick couldn’t hide his satisfied grin as his hands were already pulling down the straps of your dress. 
And only now, you desperately clawed at his shoulders, weakly pushing him back, not understanding that your attempts to fight him were only putting gasoline on a fire, encouraging him to sprawl you against the wall, pinning your hands against your head.
"P-Patrick!" The way you almost screamed his name made you both tremble with ravenous lust as you looked into each other's eyes, not really knowing if you wanted him to let you go or hold you forever.
Growling quietly, Bateman continued to move along your longing body, forcing you to hook your hip around his loin, so you could grind against his hard groin. “Feeling good, darling?”
'No, not good...no!'
“Yes-s! Mmm-mh…Daddy… ahh!” Oh God, that was the end. 
"Baby," he murmured in your ear, thrusting his firm thighs into yours and shamelessly groping your bottom. "Daddy doesn't like to see his sweet Cupcake upset."
"Maybe...n-next time Daddy will think more before he talks." You stammered from the beat of your heart. 
“Do ya want me to bite this little sharp tongue?” panting, Patrick punctuated his words with rough smacks on your butt, which could be surely heard outside the dressing room. “I’ll teach you how to behave.”
Smoothly, Bateman pulled down the top of your dress, letting your breasts to bounce out from it, and the next second his greedy mouth was already sucking on your taut nipple. 
"Mmm…Gosh." You arched your back as the last vestiges of your self-control seemed to disappear along with your ability to resist this man.
Switching between your engorged peaks, Patrick didn’t stop rubbing against your mound not even for a moment, your throbbing pussy was about to explode at any second. Thirsty, he tugged on your tip with a squelch, enjoying each little whine you made, but he still needed more.
“Turn around,” he urged briefly, licking his lips in hunger as he watched you bent over in front of him. “Oh-fuck, I can smell your sweet arousal… mmm,” snuggling into you, Bateman left a wet hickey on the back of your neck before he started to move down, peppering your exposed skin with hot sloppy kisses. “C’mon, Cupcake, spread your legs for me.”
As if hypnotized, you obeyed and before you even noticed, his long fingers were teasing your sensitive clit trough your so-fucking-wet panties. Clinging to the wall, you were about to moan when you sensed his big palm on your chin, his hot breathing was mercilessly burning the delicate skin of your throat while his rock-hard bulge was still pressed against your ass.
“Aa-aww, Daddy….mhm.” You muffled against your own hand before turning around to give him your most innocent look–he read it almost right away.
“So, you need my help?” bastard! – you almost said it out loud, but Bateman was faster as he slid his thumb into your mouth, and you started to suck it like medicine you couldn’t live without. “Ahh-look at ya… Such a little slutty girl, can’t function without Daddy’s finger inside her dirty mouth…”
Twitching under his massive weight, you could only think of his skilful digits playing with your pussy better than you ever wished for, damn you were already so close but it seemed like Partick's endless craving spurred him on to tear you apart completely.
With no words, Bateman knelt behind your back to pull up the hem of your dress, and soon you had to compress your lips so tightly, as loud nasty sounds were about to erupt from your fiery chest when he finally moved your underwear to the side and his plump lips covered your feverish cunt. 
“Oh-mmmy God,” tensed like a string, you didn’t know if you wanted to cry or to laugh, or all these things together from how his masterful tongue was pushing you over the edge. “Mmm-Patrick-” you suppressed another moan when he bit one of your buttocks before spreading them wide open to push two fingers inside your blushing pussy. “A-aah-Daddy, I’m so close… p-please!”
Patrick only purred something incoherently in response, as he continued to lick your engorged folds and pumping your tight hole with his experienced digits. His persistent ministrations made you totally lose your mind, and now you didn’t understand were you begging him to stop or to NEVER stop. 
When your legs shook in his grip, you heard his raspy snarl: “Not yet, Cupcake…Not yet!”
'And he just stopped, holy hell.'
Your miserable sobbing bounced against the walls of the dressing room as the coil in your lower belly was yearning for its release, it was literally itching so hard you were ready to scratch the wall with your nails if it could help you a bit.
“(Y/N), you can’t even imagine how much I want to leave you just like that,” Bateman hissed, and then you heard the unzipping sound which caused your knees to buckle. "But I want to get all your stupid thoughts about acting like a brat… out of your head!"
Abruptly, Patrick put your legs together and the next second you felt his leaking tip between your legs, brushing against your soaked folds and making your squirm from ecstasy. 
'This man have no barriers, he can reduce me to pieces so easily, like no one else, and I am sure he likes it.'
A small drops of sweat were running down his forehead as he watched his beefy cock slipping back and forth with a sleek sound; your overstimulated pussy was literally on fire.
“P-please…” You whimpered, bending ever lower to give him a better access to your spasming cunt. 
“If you want to cum, you have to move, slut.” Groaning, Bateman stood still with his hands wrapped tightly around your hips. Mesmerised, he watched you grinding on his huge dick as you desperately chased your release. At that moment, your languid, heavy breathing was all that mattered to him.
Shivering erratically, you almost crested your high when Patrick harshly grasped your throat and pressed you against the wall, possessively he began to smack his cock against your clit, each slap he made was taking your breath away.
“Tell me, Cupcake…” he grunted against your neck, brushing his swollen tip along your throbbing nub barely sensible. “Who do you belong to?”
“You…Only y-you...”
Bateman squeezed your neck with blatant dominance and demanded in a low voice, "Uh, not quite convincing…try again."
“Aa-aww! I… I belong to you…Daddy!” You cried out through your pressed palm when he sped up the tempo, slapping your pussy with nasty wet sounds.
With a devilish smirk on his face, Patrick had to hold you still as you cummed so hard, gushing on his dick and fidgeting around the wall. Multiple waves of pleasure were washing over you like a waterfall, leaving you completely exhausted, you didn’t even have any power to moan. 
And soon, you became limp in his powerful arms, allowing him peacefully patting your head as he praised you. “You can be a good girl when you really want to,” Bateman kissed your temple, fixing his pants. “But still, you could just let me help you with this fucking dress.”
“You can help me now…” You replied, hungrily catching the air.
Smugly, Patrick eventually undid the clasp on your dress, not missing the moment to leave a red mark on your shoulder blade as he sucked on your soft skin. “Speaking about dresses. Since my favourite one didn’t fit, you can choose whatever you want…I don’t really care.”
You sighed, smiling ironically to yourself. “Great!”
Bateman didn’t stop smirking even for a second, he was so pleased with himself that he didn’t notice your sarcastic intonation, he just ignored it, as usual. “Come out when you are ready, I’ll wait for you in the hall.”
“What for? I can pay for this myself.”
His cheesy titter unpleasantly cut your ear. “I don't want you to starve, babe,” you cast an angry glance at him, but he only stroked your cheek before adding: “You only need to be an obedient girl, and I'll give you as many gifts as you want.”
“But I didn’t ask...”
A sudden ring of his mobile phone got his attention, so he hushed you with a finger before quickly going out from the dressing room, leaving you alone with your inflaming rage.
Snorting tiredly, you mentally screwed him a million times in a row, changed your clothes and tried not to even think about eavesdropping on his conversation with whoever it was. As you left the dressing room, you heard the echo of his voice from nearby.
“Jesus, Evelyn! I’ve told you already, I can’t take the time off work.”
At that moment, you could swear your legs weren't listening as they led you straight to the source of the sound. With your heart beating, you halted near the dressing room when his voice suddenly fell silent, and the next second the curtain was carelessly pulled aside so that your frightened eyes met his furious ones.
'Oops!'
Annoyed, Patrick stared at you with his hands crossed on his chest. It was too late to run now, so you stood still and heard him saying:
"Are you lost?" With a cocky grin, he picked up his briefcase and stepped closer to you.
"No...I mean, yes. Probably," your cheeks burned from the inside as the strong feeling of embarrassment hit you like a truck. "I was just looking for you and..."
"Aha," he crooned before towering over you, grabbing you possessively by the waist and leaning down to whisper in your ear: "Do you know the proverb 'curiosity killed the cat'?"
"I haven't heard it since I was a kid," you confessed, swallowing hard as you watched him taking the dresses from your hands, the mysterious grin never leaving his face. "Sorry, I really didn't mean to eavesdrop."
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Haughtily, Patrick winked at you, and that was really confusing because his unpredictable mood changes were the most difficult puzzle you had ever known.
“You don’t even want to see which dress I chose?”
"Not really, I'll see it tomorrow anyway," his voice sounded more stern now. "Unless you change your mind about going with me.”
He cast a challenging glance at you, but before you had a chance to reply, Bateman walked past you and gestured for you to follow. Slightly disappointed, you went after him and soon you made it to the hall where all this shit started.
"So, did the young lady find something to her taste?" The stylist asked as soon as he saw you coming. 
"Yep," Patrick let him pick up the dresses and put them on the big table next to the beautiful leather couch on which Bateman kept looking in disgust and you didn't even know why. "(Y/n), c'mon, point with your finger to which dress you like?"
The way he cooed to you was absolutely stunning. Sometimes it seemed like he could read you like an open book, and that only made you feel insecure.
"I think this one." You replied with a shy smile.
"Nice, very nice!" Mr. Graham exclaimed before calling for an assistant to pack your dress. "That will be 2800 dollars, sir."
Satisfied, Bateman hummed to himself and pulled out his wallet. "Do you take credit cards?"
"Of course!"
All the while, you were pretty shocked by the price for just a piece of fabric. Frowning, you didn’t even realize you were saying it out loud. "2800 dollars, for this?"
Everyone, including Patrick, turned to look at you; the stylist was seriously confused and he just mumbled: "Excuse me?"
"Huh, don't worry," Bateman chuckled and handed him his platinum AmEx credit card. "She just can't believe I finally bought her a dress of your brand. Am I right, dear?"
When Patrick glanced at you, you felt a cold breeze run through your body—he must have been really angry. "Mmm, yes! I have been dreaming about this for so long."
Even though you were not an actress, your words sounded more than natural. Both men smiled at each other and proceeded with the payment procedure.
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All the way back to his apartment you both remained almost silent. Patrick continued to listen to the rock track he had paused on before going into the store, looking at you from time to time when you didn't see him, his hand fidgeting with the hem of your new dress that was lying on your knees. Yet, you couldn't believe he'd just bought you a dress that cost more than your monthly rent. You hated to owe someone, but now you felt like you did, and it was killing you from the inside...because you didn't ask him to get you that dress, you didn't ask him for anything, and still he was trying to push you into the world of luxury where you would be a stranger forever.
'Bullshit.'
"(Y/n), what's on your mind?" His sudden question caught you off guard, and you almost bit your tongue. Why did he even ask, when it seemed he could read your mind?
Fidgeting in your seat, you turned away from the window and gazed into his brown eyes, now filled with an unrivaled enigma. "Just thinking about how to survive all the challenges you have set for me."
You heard him laugh softly, and before you could continue, he hugged your shoulders and snuggled into your small frame, the heat his body was radiating melted the cold shell you had been building up since the moment he decided to 'help' you in the dressing room.
“Challenges?” Patrick rejoined, nuzzling against your neck as he pulled your collar down a bit. 
“Yes, Patrick,” you were trying to hold yourself as much as you could, not giving him more weaknesses to play around. “You know how much I hate all these fancy things which are made only for rich people.”
Bateman only purred something incoherently against your skin, tickling it a bit. “Cupcake…I think you need to relax.”
“Relax?”
“Yes, baby,” he tugged you closer, his nose was nearly rubbing against yours. 'Goddamn!' “Relax and take it easy.”
"Stop, stop, stop..." you pushed him away a bit, forcing his headphones to slide down his head completely. "You've reminded me almost every day...that I'm not from 'your world', that I'm just a mortal who can't afford to buy fucking clothes that cost a fortune...and now you're telling me to just relax?"
Patrick huffed and rolled his eyes. “(Y/n)...don’t even start this conversation again.”
“You’re such an…”
Despite the fact that the partition in the cab was closed, it seemed as if the taxi driver heard your loud voice, and the next moment he opened it to ask you if everything was all right.
When you said that everything was fine, he started to drive again and you clenched your palms into fists, feeling the embarrassment and anger fighting in your mind.
"You're ashamed of me, aren't you?" You wondered without looking at him. 
The way Bateman exhaled was not a good sign. "When you make such scenes—yes, I am." 
Sighing, you pressed a hand to your forehead. Damn, he was affecting you so badly and you hated yourself for it, for being so weak next to him, so vulnerable...you were literally losing yourself.
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His apartment looked perfect as always, so clean, so posh, but there was something strange this time as you walked across the living room and saw a large bouquet of white roses on his kitchen island.
"Mmm, such beautiful flowers!" You approached them to inhale their scent.
"Yeah," he stated from behind, placing your dress on the back of his white couch. "I bought them for you."
Stunned, you broke away from them as if you were pricked. “For me?”
"I'm not going to repeat it," Patrick blurted out, walking into the kitchen to grab a glass and a bottle of super expensive whiskey. "Besides, I don't think it makes any sense now."
'Excellent.' 
Without asking, Bateman set a glass on the bar counter in front of you as you took a seat near it. Still frowning with irritation, he poured some red wine for you, and when you were about to thank him, he just strolled away. The situation was rather unconventional, to say the least, and you didn't really know what to do, maybe just leave?
"Patrick, I think we both need to cool off a bit...right?" you sipped at your wine, waiting for his answer, but he continued to ignore you. "I'm going to finish my drink and probably go home."
"Whatever." Was all he said, standing with his back to your face, clearly thinking about something. 
Upset, you stifled a sad gasp and took the glass before getting up. When you reached his white couch to have a look at your dress for distraction, you suddenly heard his challenging voice:
"You want to know who Evilyn is, don't you?"
Paralyzed, you almost choke on your wine. After coughing a little, you turned to see him standing near the coffee table with his hands in his pockets. This was getting serious.
"I don't understand, why do you ask?"
Patrick chuckled loudly and shook his head in disbelief. "Stop acting like a fool, Cupcake. I know you want this, I can even feel it," his face grimaced a bit dangerously while his eyes were getting darker by the second. "You've wanted it since we left the boutique, that's why you started acting like a bitch."
Trembling with burning rage, you squeezed the glass, almost breaking it. "I'm not in the mood for scenes, you know," you countered, not even noticing that you took a few confident steps toward him. "When I leave, you can bring Evelyn, Courtney, Meredith, whoever… and confront them for as long as you want!"
"Or maybe we can all have some fun together, huh?" he drawled the last words, enjoying the sight of your angry expression. "There's plenty of me to go around."
Scowling, you wanted to spit in his face, or slap him, or both. But instead, you just smiled and that was a little unexpected for him. "You're sick, Patrick. And I feel really sorry for you."
After saying that, you turned away from him to pick up the dress – you wanted to leave this place as soon as possible, so you even forgot about the glass in your hand.
"Of the two of us, you are the one who really needs some grief," his voice hurt you like a slow-acting poison, it was excruciating. Before Bateman returned to the kitchen, he added, "Evelyn is my fiancée, and has been all along. What an unpleasant surprise?"
A loud sound of broken glass echoed through the living room as soon as you heard his last words. It was a real miracle that the wine didn't splash onto the luxurious fabric of his white couch, but you didn't really care at that moment, with your heart beating so crazy in your chest. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and stood still, not hearing Patrick's footsteps behind you.  
'Damn, that glass must have cost a fortune.'
"Cupcake..."
"I know!" You cut him off, raising your trembling hands in the air. "I'll return the money...just tell me how much it costs?"
'Don't cry. Please, don't cry!' But you did, and when you felt his warm hand wrap around your forearm, you tried to push him away, yelping:
"Give me...give me something to clean the floor!"
"(Y/n), calm down! You're bleeding." 
"What?" you gasped, opening your eyes wide before looking down at your feet to see blood running down your ankle as a sharp piece of glass sank into your soft skin. Only then did you realize you were injured, a sharp pain hitting your brain like a lightning strike. “Oh, God…I thought it was w-wine…” You stammered as that was the end point for your nervous system.
With no more waiting, Bateman carefully took you in his arms to lift you up. Sobbing, you let him carry you into the bathroom and sat on the edge of his beautiful black tub. Gently, he removed your shoes and stretched out your bruised leg to assess the damage.
"Is it that bad?" You asked him in a shaky voice, trying not to look down at the wound. 
"No, but it would be better if you stopped flinching." He insisted, releasing your leg and going to the sink to get antiseptic, tweezers, bandages and cotton pads. 
As Patrick knelt before you, holding a pair of tweezers, time seemed to freeze for you, but then you screamed from the itching pain as he carefully pulled the shard of glass from your ankle.
"Mmmh," you mumbled through your palm when he pressed a cotton pad soaked in antiseptic. "Shit…I am so clumsy and reckless..."
"You are," Bateman murmured as he wrapped a bandage around your leg. Every move he made was very gentle and accurate. "But still, you are mine."
"No, I'm not," you struggled to free yourself from his grip, but his hands held your leg very tightly. "We both know that's not true..."
Shivering, you peered down at him as he remained on his knee beside you. Almost immediately, his hazel eyes locked with yours, mesmerizing as always. "Why is it always so difficult with you?"
“Ask yourself.”
The moment you attempted to get up, you almost fell on the floor, but Patrick caught you in his arms at the last second.
"Patrick, let me go..." you pushed him into his chest to get some distance, but he didn't even move. "I will leave and forget everything that happened between us. Just like you wanted!"
"I never said I wanted to!" he growled, holding you closer so you could almost feel his fast heartbeat. "Why can't you just be a good girl and accept what I give you?"
"Oh, you've already given me enough, believe me!"
Annoyed, Bateman just shook his head before pressing a finger to your lips, silencing you and taking your breath away. 
'No, no, no. Not again'
You swallowed hard as you felt his thumb slide up to your cheek to wipe away your salty tears. 
'Stop.'
"Cupcake."
'His voice, his scent, his brawny body.' 
"Look at me," Patrick whispered sweetly, and you felt yourself going limp in his strong arms, so you obeyed and let him kiss your temple. "You're driving me crazy and I hate it...because I'm so fucking obsessed with you!"
One sharp breath and his lips were on yours, forcing your hands to claw at his jacket, but Bateman only pulled you closer, deepening the kiss as his wet tongue played with yours. Panting against his mouth, you couldn't help but run your fingers through his soft hair, making it look so messy, but Patrick didn't care. Slowly, he lifted you up a bit to set you down on the sink opposite his bathtub, peppering your neck with little pecks.
"Daddy."
Just one simple word could turn this man into a savage beast, you knew it, but you couldn't stop yourself as your inner nature yearned for him and it felt like you were meant for each other, two broken souls finally found each other.
"Cupcake." He kissed your lips briefly before moving down to your cleavage and unbuttoning your shirt, his hot breath tickling your bare skin.
Everything about him was so intoxicating that your clouded mind refused to function at all and now you couldn't hear your inner voice begging you to stop. 
Quivering, you arched your back a little to give him better access, and immediately you heard him growl against your collarbone as he finally undid your shirt. Patrick didn't even bother to remove your bra - he just pulled it down, revealing your taut nipples; he licked his lips at the sight of them and then his greedy mouth was already devouring one of them.
"A-awwww," you mewled, hugging his shoulders as you literally melted under his touch. "Mmm, please!"
"Please what?" He looked at you, twisting your hard peak between his skilled fingers. 
"I..." you hiccupped from the way Bateman spread your legs as he nestled into you with pure possession, groping your hip and licking your neck. "I... don't know... Gosh!"
This was pure madness, what was consuming your mind, with every kiss he made, breaking all your barriers, the more you tried to resist it, the more it hit you back. Panting, you threw your head back and felt your eyes begin to water again as his strong hands caressed your trembling little body. Never in your life had you felt so lost. Never.
"Relax, sweetheart," Patrick mused into your ear as he slid his palm between your legs. And of course you were so shamelessly wet that you could flood his floor. "I got you."
"I can't, a-aah..." You sighed, tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Yes, you can," Bateman planted another sloppy kiss on your neck before grabbing your hand to press it against the hard bulge in his pants. "I couldn't stop thinking..." he paused, drinking in your stifled moans as he gave your clit a few slight rubs. "Do you think about me, Cupcake? I know you do..."
"Mm-mhh," your hands roamed desperately down his broad back, fumbling with the smooth fabric of his suit. "And I...ahh-I know you don't think about me..."
A loud whimper fell from your lips as he shoved two fingers into your dripping pussy, almost causing you to bump your head against the mirror behind, but he prevented it by wrapping his hand around your neck.
"You're mistaken," his low groan echoed against the walls of his bathroom, sending shivers down your spine and coaxing your inner muscles to spasm around his fingers as they mercilessly rammed in and out of your throbbing cunt. "Because you know nothing about me," Patrick curled his fingers to stimulate your most sensitive spot, gritting his teeth as his aching cock was about to explode with ravenous desire. "Now be a sweet girl like you always are and..."
"Owwww!" you screamed in sharp pain as he accidentally pushed on your wound. “It hurts!”
"Fuck, I forgot...damn it!" He cursed and removed his hand from your leg.
Seizing the moment of his confusion, you slipped out of his embrace and nearly ran for the door, and thank God it was open, because when you heard his almost furious groan, your heart skipped a beat:
"Come back!" 
"No, it can't be like this," you leaned against the door, holding out a hand defensively. "Not after what you said..."
Trembling, you watched him breathe heavily through his red nostrils, his wild gaze seeming to burn you alive as his self-control was about to snap. Scared, you weren't sure what to expect from him next, so you decided to leave this place right now, while it was still not too late.
Quickly, you walked into his living room and grabbed the damn dress, trying not to think about the broken glass and spilled wine. To be fair, you thought Patrick was going to chase you or threaten you with punishment, but none of that happened as he stayed in his bathroom. It was suspicious, but you would think about it later. 
As you were about to leave, you walked past the open door to the bathroom and told yourself to just go and not look back. But when you reached the front door, you froze and sobbed - your heart sinking while your mind was waving a red flag.
'Just leave, please!'
Huffing, you turned and walked back to the open door. The scene you saw was not what you expected, it simply broke your heart - Bateman was standing still by the sink, leaning on his hands with his head bowed.
"Patrick."
"You're still here?" He asked without looking at you.
"I'll go with you tomorrow...but I'm not doing it for you," your voice wavered, but you didn't allow yourself to sound weak. "I just wanted to make that clear."
And then you left him alone in his super luxurious apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side. No matter how hard you tried to hold back your tears, they kept slipping down your cheeks. Even when you were in the cab on your way home, your soul was still aching because it seemed like the wounds he made couldn't be healed.
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When the night came, there were only a few windows with lights on, and Patrick's bedroom window was one of them.
Irritated, Bateman lay on his bed while a blonde girl sucked him off, bobbing her head up and down at a fast tempo. There was no denying that she was trying her best to give him as much pleasure as possible, but he felt nothing, literally no emotions – only the dark void inside his mind.
"(Y/n), you're doing everything wrong...not the way I like it!" Patrick grumbled, pulling on the girl's hair.
"Who?" She asked confusedly, looking up at him. "My name is Meredith, in case you forgot, honey."
Bateman just laughed and carelessly pushed her down, forcing her to continue. "Shut your fucking mouth and suck my dick. You stupid whore!"
Meredith was making too many noises which annoyed him so much as he was trying to concentrate on dreaming of you—your beautiful face, your innocent sparkling eyes. Although this girl was very pretty, definitely 'his type', there was not a single trace of you and he thought he would never reach his high.
"Mmhm, Patrick…Maybe you will fuck me already?" 
"Maybe," he sighed, watching her laying on her back with undisguised excitement, but then he frowned in a weird disgust. "No, get on your knees. I can't see your fucking face."
"W-what? What's wrong with you today?Ah!"
Angrily, he slapped her hip and rolled her onto her stomach. Without any preparation, he bottomed out, closing his eyes and thinking about the way you twitched every time he thrust inside you. Speeding up his pounding, Patrick finally felt his orgasm building up inside his body when she suddenly moaned. "Oh, yeah! Daddy, it feels so good!" 
That was not even rage, it was something beyond that. Brutally, he squeezed her neck, almost choking her, and growled near her ear as he leaned down. "Never call me that! Understand?" he yanked her against the bed, still clutching her throat, and only when she was on the verge of asphyxia he released her, fucking her harder and gritting his teeth. "Fucking bitch, you should thank me for not killing you."
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Camera flashes never stopped clicking in front of your eyes, you almost thought it was impossible to hide from them. They were literally everywhere, as were the countless supermodels and rich yuppies who looked at them without shame, their hungry eyes ready to eat them alive.
"Hey, are you trying to get lost or what?" 
With a soft gasp, you stopped and turned around to see Patrick's irritated face as you walked through the huge hall, every part of which gave you strong vibes of luxury lifestyle.
"I don't think you'd notice my absence anyway," you replied, walking straight until his arm wrapped around your waist, causing your lungs to spasm from the sudden lack of oxygen. "Patrick?"
"Listen to me," he pulled you closer and leaned down to your ear, whispering in a serious tone. "There are a lot of bad people here who came for more than just fashion."
"Even worse than you?"
He scowled, but continued. "Much worse, believe me."
"Don't pretend you care," you tried to walk away, brushing his hand aside, but he tightened his grip. "Get off me!"
"You're too naive and innocent. I don't want you getting into trouble while you're here with me." Tensed, Bateman stroked your back to calm you down a bit as he noticed the people around starting to stare at you.
"That's very sweet, but I don't need your 'protection'...I'm pretty sure you came here for the same reason as all the other yuppies." 
"I didn't ask for your opinion, okay? Let's get to our seats," he said possessively, easily cradling you in his arms, covering your small frame like a cocoon. "We have the best seats, by the way. Right next to the runaway."
"Amazing," you murmured as he led you through the endless crowds. "Not a single model will escape your gaze."
"That's right."
Frowning, you were about to slip out of his grip when suddenly someone ran into you, stomping painfully on your feet.
"Ouch!" Your loud whimper caused Patrick to turn in your direction, but then he froze as he looked over your shoulder at the blonde girl who was immediately apologizing. 
"Oh God, I'm so sorry..." the familiar voice hit you like a bolt of lightning. "I can be so clumsy," she touched her forehead before locking her lost gaze with Bateman's. "Patrick?"
That was Courtney. There was no doubt it was her, especially when she smiled at him so brightly it could easily outshine the Sun. 
"Hello, Courtney. It's so good to see you!" Patrick crooned gallantly, his arms finally releasing your shivering body. 
But even if a few minutes ago you wanted him to take his hands off you, now you were feeling a bit upset that he actually did.
"How could I miss this?" She asked flirtatiously, completely ignoring your presence. "Where are your seats?"
"Yeah, where are they?" You blurted out abruptly, making them both almost jump. "I just don't want to interrupt your sweet conversation and..."
You almost hissed from the sudden pain as you felt his firm hand on your ass, pinching your buttocks. His face didn't change, though, as he continued to grin haughtily, his eyes never ceasing to roam over Courtney's pretty body. With slight irritation, Bateman approached your neck and whispered in your ear how to get to your seats, then nibbled briefly on your earlobe as a sign of his displeasure, but you didn't pay any attention.
"Thank you, Daddy." You uttered the last word in the most disgustingly sweet way you could and strolled away without looking back. No matter how much you wanted to, you just couldn't.
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Patrick wasn't lying—the seats were really so close to the runway that you could probably see every little detail on the models' clothes.
After about fifteen minutes, it was getting dark, which meant that the show was about to start. You fidgeted in your seat, trying to find a comfortable position, but it just didn't work, your butt was still sore from Bateman's pinch.
As soon as you remembered him, you heard his voice as he moved across the seats to reach his place. Patrick grinned at you smugly as he sat down next to you, crossing one leg over the other and fixing his hair.
"You must be very pleased with yourself, Cupcake?" He asked mockingly.
You scowled and pretended not to understand what he was saying as the music turned up really loud: "I can't hear you."
Patrick just chuckled softly, put a hand on the back of your seat and moved closer. "I said you look so beautiful today."
'God, what a jerk.' 
"Can't say the same about you."
"Uh, such an angry little kitten," Bateman laughed, looking at you from under his beautiful lashes. "I don't think I'll survive this."
"You really think I care?"
And then the show started, unfortunately not allowing you to finish what you were about to say. As expected, the models looked gorgeous and the clothes they were wearing were absolutely amazing—you had to admit that. Although you tried your best not to notice the way Patrick was staring at the girls on the runway, you had to claw at your skin when one of them winked at him without any shame.
"This is the grace I've been telling you about," he bowed closer to you to make sure you heard what he was saying. "The perfect example of feminine beauty."
You smiled ironically and replied without looking at him: "The real beauty begins when the boys come out."
Your sudden statement elicited a muffled groan from his chest, but Bateman simply nodded and turned away from you. From that moment on, he was almost silent, and it was a little strange, but as the male models appeared on the runway, you stopped analyzing and just enjoyed the handsome men walking back and forth in front of you. Everything was fine until one of the models found your eyes in the crowd and smiled at you. And of course Patrick wouldn't miss it.
"Do you like him?"
"W-who?" You stammered, feeling his warm hand on your knee.
"The model who just walked by," he murmured, stroking your exposed skin under the hem of your dress, sensing the way you tensed under his touch. "Maybe you should go talk to him after the show."
Shit, you couldn't believe he meant it or... you just didn't want to believe it?
"I'm not like you, Patrick," you chastised, feeling so damned angry as his words cut painfully through your heart. "You sometimes forget that not everyone is like that..."
"Like what?" Bateman scoffed with a raised eyebrow.
"You know what I mean." You added with a teasing smile and turned away from him, but he immediately grabbed your face, forcing you to squeal from the unexpectedness. 
"No, I don't," he scoffed, pushing on your jaw. "C'mon, Cupcake, tell me."
The surrounding darkness came in handy in this situation, not to mention the fact that almost everyone was focused on watching the show, so Bateman felt pretty confident knowing that no one would notice your little fight here.
"Get off!" You hissed, wrapping both your hands around his wrist in an attempt to pry it away.
"Awww, look at those little hands," he pulled you closer, so you could feel his hot breath on your trembling lips. "You are so small and yet so brave. It fascinates me, I won't lie."
You froze for a second as his words caught you off guard. Blinking several times, you didn't even notice that his large palm was now gently stroking your chin, moving up to your cheek and ending this little intimate moment by pressing lightly on your half-opened lips.
Actually, that was the worst thing he could do at that moment, because his illusory softness and tenderness hurts like hell. It was like a sweet candy with a sharp blade inside.
Just as you realized how close your faces were, you tried to pull away, but Patrick's grip was too tight. Fixing you in place by your chin, he captured your mouth with his, hungrily relishing your taste, your shiver, your muffled gasp against his lips. Bateman tested your limits so masterfully that every little move he made was as precise as his side profile. Slowly he wrapped one hand around your neck while another was already resting on your waist, the kiss you shared was something more than just physical contact, and you let yourself sink into the flow of emotions, closing your eyes and letting him kiss deeper. You almost moaned, but the surrounding music of the show drowned out any obscene sounds that tried to escape your swollen lips.
His strong, warm tongue danced along yours, not even giving you a chance to take the lead, so you just opened your mouth wider and let your noses brush together, forcing your hearts to beat in a crazy rhythm.
God, this man was the darkest curse... the most delightful blessing.
After a few seconds, the people around started applauding so loudly that you had to open your eyes just as the lights came on. The strange delusion that was like a white veil behind your vision began to fade, and only then did you and Patrick realize that you were both staring at each other, your mouths still pressed together.
A second, two seconds.
It seemed as if you were both waiting to see who would break away first, and as soon as you heard someone coughing behind your back, you pulled away from Patrick's strong arms, but you knew that you only managed to break free because he let you.
"Patrick! I thought I wouldn't see you here!" A familiar female voice echoed from above and you didn't even bother to turn around to see another bimbo Bateman was hanging out with.
Shit, what if she saw what you were doing?
At first you thought Patrick would pretend he didn't know you or something, but instead Bateman smiled smugly and put his hand on the back of your chair.
Annoyed, but still as majestic as a lion, he looked up at the blonde and said quickly: "Hi, Meredith."
Her face turned into a sad grimace, though she pretended that Bateman's indifference didn't upset her. Obviously, Meredith was outraged and needed someone to take her anger out on. 
With a haughty grin, she scoffed and almost stepped on your foot. "I don't understand, how can a man like you go out with someone like... her?"
Damn, that was such an obvious insult that it didn't even trigger a single emotion, you just gave her a deadly stare when you finally met her little eyes and you could swear that you saw a trace of fear in them.
"I asked myself the same question," you muttered suddenly, getting up from your seat and looking at Patrick, whose perfect eyebrows now frowned, especially when he understood what you were you doing—he squeezed the back of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "Have a nice evening." 
With those words, you quickly walked away, and you were so damn glad that Bateman decided not to follow you, because with every step you took, your eyes got more and more watery. 
"How did she even get here? Ugly people like that should stay at home to avoid traumatizing anyone." Meredith hissed as she watched your little figure moving away from them. "Who is she?" 
Patrick chuckled, then did his classic move of parrying the question with his natural charm. "Oh, you're so mean," he muttered as he watched the blonde take your seat next to him. Playfully, Bateman pinched her nose and they both started to giggle, no matter how disgusted he felt himself right now, he wouldn't admit that your sudden leaving made him sad. "Such an angry little bitch."
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You couldn't remember how you found your way to the ladies' room, but as soon as you stepped up to the sink and looked in the mirror, you scowled and clenched your fists from the sharp pain in your chest. 
"I... I hate you so much!" You hissed in a trembling voice, not really knowing who you were addressing, yourself or Patrick, who was probably already taking the blonde bimbo to his place.
His womanizer nature was not a secret, so why did it hurt so fucking much? 
Depressed by your weakness towards this man, you wanted to smash the mirror to stop seeing this sad face covered with tears, but you heard someone coming, so you just froze in place with your trembling hands in the air. A model walked past you and accidentally bumped your shoulder.
"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She squealed and opened the fauster to wash her hands.
Even though you understood that she didn't do it on purpose, it made you so mad that you almost ran out of the bathroom, loudly slamming the door behind you.
The moment you realized that you couldn't remember how to get out of here made all your insides cramp like a spring, and you thought you were just going to fall to the floor from a sudden fear of being lost. 'Fuck, not now, not now!'
Quivering, you looked around, searching for... Patrick? But instead of him, you could only see an endless number of beautiful models strolling here and there. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath to calm yourself, but when that didn't help, your legs seemed to give way, and you slipped against the wall until you rested on the floor. This panic attack was nothing compared to the ones you had before, your heart pounding painfully against your chest as if trying to burst through it. Things got worse when you felt the lack of oxygen as you literally suffocated with panic and your body burned from the inside out.
The group of models stood by and noticed your small, shivering form, rocking back and forth with your hands wrapped around your head. 
"Hey! Are you okay?" One of them approached you and crouched down beside you, trying to help you up, but you refused.
"Don't touch her, Lizzy! Maybe she's on drugs. Let's go already!"
"No, wait... she clearly needs help," the models looked at each other, one of them trying to pat your shoulder to calm you down, while her friend tapped her foot annoyingly. "Are you in pain? Did someone hurt you?"
"N-no," you finally mumbled, opening your eyes to see that not only two, but many of these girls were already gathered around you. "I— I'm fine, I'm sorry... I'm just..." 
Lost.
Jesus, that was so embarrassing that the words just stuck in your throat like a lump, and now you felt like a little girl who got lost in the big mall when she decided to run away from her parents. 
"What's going on here?" That voice made you almost faint. "Get away!"
A bit roughly, Bateman pulled the model away from you and leaned down to your shivering form.
"HEY! We were just trying to help!"
"Go away! All of you!" He turned and barked at all the girls watching the scene. "Get the hell out of here, there is nothing to look at!"
Your head was spinning, at first you couldn't even believe it was him, hiding you from everyone with his broad, tall figure, as if he was trying to… protect you?
"Cupcake? Cupcake, look at me," his worried cooing made you submit, making you want to believe that he was really concerned about you. Gently, he cupped your face and stroked your slightly disheveled hair. "What happened?"
At first, you didn't say anything — you were paralyzed, mesmerized by his brown eyes, which were gliding desperately up and down your body, checking every little part of it. 
"Who did this to you?"
'You did.'
But he would never know.
"You came," you replied briefly. "Why?" 
Patrick frowned at your answer and let out a tired sigh. "I've been looking for you since you left, because this place is huge, and I didn't want you to get into trouble, but," he paused and brushed your tears away concisely. "But it looks like I'm too late. God, you're so reckless," he shook his head and stood up.
As soon as Patrick did that, something clicked in your head, and you didn't even notice that you were already on your feet as you snuggled up to him and buried yourself in his arms with a deadly grip.
"Please, don't go!" You begged in a trembling voice, hugging him tighter. "Don't leave me!"
Shocked, Bateman didn't know how to react, his arms dropped motionlessly, but then he carefully placed them on your back, drawing invisible lines along your spine. 
"I have to get our coats. You came here in your coat, did you forget?"
Blinking several times as you looked into his eyes, you replied softly: "Yeah… I did."
Patrick couldn't help but smile adorably. "Wait for me here, (y/n). I'll lead you outside, you'll feel better there." He explained and distanced himself from you. "Don't go anywhere! Got it?"
You nodded, and only then did he walk away. Without even looking back, he disappeared into the crowd.
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Bateman was right, once you left the building your condition improved, and you could finally breathe in the fresh air, filling your lungs with the oxygen they so desperately needed. A cool wind blew into your face, making you shiver, but it was nothing compared to the emotions you were experiencing right now — the fact that Patrick had come for you, that he was looking for you, left you with no choice but to stifle a loud scream that you wanted so bad to let out.
Bateman remained silent, standing a short distance behind you, puffing on his cigar and watching the smoke rise from it.
"Has this ever happened to you before?" His question came out of nowhere.
You shrugged, but didn't turn around. "Yeah... it happens sometimes, especially in crowded places."
Bateman didn't say anything, but you could feel the tension between the two of you. Without a rush, he moved closer to you, watching you hug yourself — the difference in your sizes made him gulp, but he didn't dare touch you. Not yet.
"Why didn't you tell me then?" He whispered above your ear before smoking his cigar.
"Because it doesn't matter."
"It does."
"No!" You blurted out and turned round to face him. "It… doesn't."
The way he looked at you was enough to make you hold your breath and take a small step back, but the next moment you were already trapped in his sturdy arms, the sharp smell of snuff filling the air around you as he blew off several rings of smoke.
"You're not going anywhere now." His voice lowered, and you closed your eyes from the astonishing sensation of being caught in his strong hands, feeling his hot breath on your face. 
"Patrick," you gasped and hugged him back, surprising him for a second. "Thank you for... for everything."
A loud cacophony of laughter and rumbling got your attention and you looked over his shoulder to see Meredith and her friends coming towards you. She seemed to spot you even faster than you spotted her, and now her eyes were bloodshot red.
"Can you," you stammered, feeling ashamed. "Can you kiss me?"
What the hell was going on inside your head?
Anyway, you didn't have time to reflect on this, because Patrick wasn't the type of person who needs to be asked twice. The moment his soft lips met yours, the ground under your feet seemed to disappear, so he had to hold you with both hands, not caring that his expensive cigar fell down. Even if you would blame yourself for that, all you could think about now was his strong hands sliding along your small form, outlining your curves as you let him do it, while he used his wet tongue to make you go limp in his embrace.
Sneakily, Patrick admired your beautiful face with his half-open eyes, probably not even realizing how much you meant to him, how deep you were rooted in his soul. But did he even have a soul in the first place?
When you broke the kiss, you didn't see Meredith or her friends anymore. Bateman noticed you were looking for something, so he turned to look at the direction of your gaze.
"Cupcake?" He was confused when he didn't see anyone. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Uh, yeah! I just thought I saw a familiar face," you lied, trying to act natural. "I... I should probably go home."
Patrick gave you a suspicious glance, still holding you in his arms. "Actually, I don't want to leave you alone after what happened."
"What do you mean?" you asked, a little disappointed. "I said I'm fine."
"Shhh," he pressed a finger to your lips, and you felt the smooth, cold leather of his glove. "I know you like to be bratty, but now isn't a good time. You really scared me."
Sighing, you dropped your head and covered his hand with both of yours. "I'm sorry, I... I didn't want you to see me like that."
To be honest, you didn't want anyone to see you like this because you hated looking weak in front of people. Especially in front of people like him, because it would automatically give him another trump card to play around with.
"Let me take you home." Bateman mumbled briefly, fixing your hair and then rubbing your neck to relax you.
"Aren't you afraid you'll have a heart attack coming to my place? It's not like your apartment in Manhattan."
He chuckled and pinched your cheek, leaving you confused and offended.
"Of course it's not," Patrick grinned and poked you in the nose. "I don't have any expectations."
You frowned and tried to push him back, but he only pressed you closer, nuzzling your neck and leaving a small hickey on it for which you were not ready — your muffled whimper made him sneer even louder.
"That's a pretty exhaustive answer," he didn't even allow you to say anything in return as he kissed you again, but this time much more passionately. "I'll get us a cab."
This man was like a hurricane that tossed everything around and no matter how many walls you built — he would break them down, one after the other, because nature couldn't be stopped. It seemed that you were completely disarmed against your own nature, because it was calling for him, it was pushing you into his possession, and you were already so tired of fighting these feelings.
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There was something special about New York at night, when millions of lights were shining like diamonds, reflecting on the water of the Hudson River and taking your breath away with the feeling of being so small in such a huge city, where the numerous soaring skyscrapers were almost touching the sky.
Tiredly, you closed your eyes, sighed, and leaned on the armrest of the car door, watching the scenery change behind the window. Patrick listened to the music, as he always did, his hands stroking your knee from time to time, but you could hardly feel it, since you were completely overwhelmed by emotions, feelings and thoughts. It was hard to believe that even after all that had happened, you still let him take you home, knowing damn well that he wouldn't just stay in the cab when it stopped at your place. 
Just as you entered your apartment and turned on the lights, you heard his slightly nervous chuckle and little comment.
“Mmm, it's pretty clean here.”
His words almost made you choke. “Did you really think that my place would look like a dump just because I don't live in Manhattan?”
“I didn't mean that.” Bateman murmured behind you, following you carefully down the hall. “Where can I put my coat?”
“Why do you ask? I don't remember inviting you here,” You took off your coat and put it on the rack next to him. “Aren't you afraid your coat will stink  of poverty?”
Patrick couldn't help but chuckle in a husky voice. “You're funny, Cupcake.”
'And why did I trust this man at all? What was so special about him?'
You didn't say anything, only a thin smile ran over your tired face as you turned around and saw him putting his coat over yours. After that, you continued to walk to your small kitchen, and as soon as you reached the table next to the window, your eyes began to search for something.
“Did you lose something?” He asked, leaning against the wall and hiding his hands in his pockets.
“N-no,” you stammered, as if he had caught you doing something bad. God, he was embarrassing you in your own apartment! “Just … It's been a while since I've had guests.”
Patrick hummed something incoherently and crossed his arms over his broad chest, then moved lazily to the kitchen counter when something caught his eye while you were busy gathering all the stuff on the kitchen table — including some books and various papers from work.
With undisguised interest, Bateman picked up the medicine to take a closer look at its name. “Don't you know these things can cause addiction?”
“What?” You turned to see him examining your sedatives.
“How long have you been taking them?” He asked again, his perfect eyebrows knitted together now.
You sighed tiredly and walked over to him, holding out your hand. “Not too long. Now give it to me, please.”
“I can bring you much better medication than this, since it obviously doesn't work,” he stated in a stern voice, without looking at you. “Because the panic attacks are still kicking your pretty ass.”
His words made your jaw clench, but you didn't even try to snatch the medication from him, instead you just let out a soft groan of annoyance, crossed your arms and rolled your eyes.
“That's very kind of you, but I have to decline your offer.” You replied, watching him shake his head in irritation. “Besides, you can only get those pills with a doctor's prescription.”
Patrick just shrugged and put the pills back on the kitchen counter.
“That's not a problem,” he quickly straightened his red tie before stepping closer to you. “I have one of the best therapists in the city.”
“Uh-huh, and the pharmacy you go to is probably one of the best, too?”
He grinned. “Sure, I usually get my meds from the one on Broadway.”
“Good for you.”
You started to saunter away from him, but his hands caught you faster than you could react. The next thing you knew, Bateman was holding you tightly against his tall, broad frame, looking down at you with obvious concern.
“Cupcake,” he murmured in a sweet voice, tracing a finger along your cheek. “I just want to help.”
Damn, this man only had to touch you a little bit and you were already lost in him. 
“Patrick, you don't have to. I—” You didn't have a chance to finish your sentence because your lips were sealed by his. 
Completely defenseless and vulnerable — that was how you felt right now, and it seemed as if he could feel it as the kiss grew deeper and more intense with each passing moment. Cautiously, you rested your hands on his shoulders before sliding them down to the lapels of his suit, fumbling with the soft material and feeling the ground disappearing beneath your feet.
'It's already too much.'
Only when you were both breathless did Patrick decide to break the kiss, but his arms were still wrapped around your waist, as if he was afraid you would disappear like a mirage. 
“You were involved in all this because of me," he paused and leaned down to you again, letting your noses rub against each other. This little physical contact made your heart flutter. “And you really made me worry.”
Bateman said it so quickly, as if he wasn't even thinking properly at that moment. Embarrassed, you shrugged a bit in his arms. No matter how hard you tried to believe this man, all you could think about now was whether you were trapped in his other manipulative, mind games.
“I’ll be fine, I promise,” you put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating fast under your fingertips and the next second you pulled your hand away as if you got burned. “Anyway, it’s late already and you probably have some more interesting stuff to do.”
His soft chuckling was annoying but pleasant to hear. “You’re not quite hospitable, aren’t you?”
Eventually, he let you go and stepped aside, unbuttoning his jacket — that scene caused your pulse to race. 
“What are you doing?” “What does it look like?”
You crossed your arms and sighed. “Patrick, I really appreciate your help and… the show was really cool, but I doubt I would ever go back to that place again.” 'Damn it, did I actually say that?'
After Bateman removed his jacket, he carefully put it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs and tucked his sleeves. 
“You’re welcome,” he beamed with a cocky smile. “I thought you would offer me some tea, coffee or something?”
“I doubt I have anything good to your taste,” slowly, you turned away from him, as an unpleasant feeling of shame struck you right through your chest. “Mmm, I can only offer you mineral water but it’s not Apollinaris.”
“Oh, dear,” he crooned and suddenly hugged you from behind. “I didn’t expect you to have Apollinaris. Honestly.”
Gasping barely audibly, you covered his arms on your waist with your own arms and cocked your head to meet his brown eyes and for God’s sake, why did he always look so tempting, so captivating, so… magnetizing?
With a sharp breath, you managed to avoid another kiss he planned to pull you into, and it coaxed a low growl of disappointment to erupt from his half-opened lips which were so intended to collapse with yours. 
“Patrick,” you gulped when he nuzzled against your neck, leaving small wet marks along your sensitive skin. “Please, stop. Let me just bring you some water and I want to relax a bit, after… after everything that happened.”
It was kinda unexpected that Bateman decided to let you go as easy as that without even trying to overpower you like he always does.
“And what do you do to relax?"
“Hot bath.” You responded without looking at him. Annoyed, you stumbled past him to grab the meds he was inspecting a few minutes ago, and then you opened the fridge to take out the bottle of mineral water. As soon as you started to pour the water into the most beautiful glass you had, you noticed his persistent stare, which made you almost spill the water onto the kitchen counter. “What?”
“These pills are no good for you, (y/n),” his anxious tone was very unnatural, you didn’t even remember him sounding like this ever before. “Stop being stubborn.”
With a small thud, you put the glass on the table next to him and replied a bit aggressively: "I don't think they're worse than coke."
At first, Bateman just gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists, but then he took a quick sip of the mineral water, trying as hard as he could to play cool.
“Thanks.” Was all he said and that was actually not the reaction you have expected.
There was an awkward silence hanging in the air for some seconds and none of you wanted to continue this conversation, but once you tried to move his hand (that was wrapped around your forearm), his low voice engulfed you like a hot steam.
“Cupcake, I just want to make sure you won’t do anything bad.” “W-what do you mean?” You frowned in confusion and glanced at his hand before you raised your eyes to his perfect face. “Patrick, I suffer from panic attacks… not the things you're thinking of.”
“Then, go take a bath and I’ll leave after that.”
“But I’m not a child,” the more you were trying to resist him, the more your body was yearning for his touch, his large palm on your back was enough to make you forget how to breathe. “You don't owe me anything, this is my problem and I’ll handle this, just like I was doing it before.”
“To be fair, your behavior only shows how immature you are,” he crooned and traced a long, sensible line along your spine. “But, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt since you’re overwhelmed.”
At some point, you found yourself tired from trying to convince him to leave you alone, so you just nodded and quickly took your sedative before heading to the bathroom under his attentive gaze. After all, even if you even attempted to make him go away you would fail because compared to him you were so small and weak — Patrick had power over you in all ways, and he knew that. 
You were trapped in your own flat, what nonsense.
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In a few minutes, you were sitting in the bath and letting the warm water bring you some relief, just like it always did. Affected by sedatives, you didn’t even remember whether you closed the bathroom door or not, but being honest, you didn’t really care, because even if Patrick came here he wouldn’t see anything new. 
The bitter aftertaste of what happened made you feel like shit, and you really didn't know how to find a way out from it. As if it was not enough for you to be dependent on Patrick (you owe him a lot of money), now you gave him more weaknesses that he could potentially use against you. 
'Excellent!'
Hugging your knees, you burst in tears — salty tears that were falling into the water, leaving small circles on it. Before now, you didn’t even realize how devastated you were. You closed your eyes for a second and you drifted off almost instantly, and with each passing moment, your body was submerging into the water more and more.
Meanwhile, Bateman was sitting on the little couch in your living room, which he suddenly found pretty cozy, though he checked if everything was clean enough before he dared to take a seat. Did he really think that people outside Manhattan used to live in dirty, trashy apartments? Well, maybe he did, since he didn’t even remember when was the last time he was in such places.
Ever since you left, Patrick had been fighting the temptation to go through your things to find something interesting, which he would of course use for his own interests. But instead, he picked up one of your books from the coffee table, and as he did so, a small piece of paper fell out. Squinting suspiciously, Bateman leaned down to grab it, only to almost crumple it when he saw your handwriting —  the paper was completely covered with your notes, and they were all the same phrase — "If I want to be loved as I am, I have to be willing to love others as they are." Patrick couldn't count how many times you had written that, but each line he read evoked something strange in him — the unraveling feeling that urged him to rip the paper, to crumple it. Is it compassion that he was so afraid of?
Closing his eyes for a moment, Bateman took a deep breath and put the paper back in the book, no matter how much he wanted to destroy it or forget what he had just read. After that, he checked his Rolex and noticed that it had been quite a while since you had left. Slowly, he got up from the couch and went to the bathroom. His 'sixth sense' had never failed him before, so he decided to rely on it and check on you.
Patrick didn’t knock once he noticed that the door was not closed, he just stepped in, looking for you.
“Cupcake, are you—”
A chilling shock swept over him when he saw only the top of your head above the water. Without a second thought, he ran across the bathroom and knelt down beside the tub to pull you out of the water, and the moment he did, you began to cough, clinging to his arms and desperately gasping for air.
“Pat-Patrick,” you were shaking so badly, so he had to hold you in one place, pressing you against his solid chest. “I don’t know how that happened… I… I didn’t want this I—” “Shh, (y/n),” Bateman cooed at you in order to calm you down, but he wasn't any less scared than you. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
Trembling, you looked up at him — your eyes so red from tears, your heart beating like a broken alarm-clock. “I think I ruined your suit… I’m so sorry!”
Appalled, you tried to break free but Patrick didn’t let you move, his strong arms were holding you like tight ropes. Damn, he was so angry — he could sense his blood boiling inside his veins, forcing his jaw to clench in a silent growl. He was so fucking mad at himself. 
How could he let this happen? 
As this question ran through his bewildered mind, he froze in fear. He didn't know if he was talking about letting you nearly drown in your own bathtub or letting you take roots on his broken soul. Maybe that was the reason you two had bonded, two broken souls seeking for something that would stop their pain, something that would bring them freedom from a burdened life. But how could he help you when every day he was fighting his dark side, the side you didn't know about yet? The side he wished you would never meet.
Never.
"God... I'm so stupid." You cried out, interrupting his train of thought and bringing him back to reality. 
"Shh," Bateman husked, cupping your face. "Stop talking!" He sighed and looked into your blurry eyes, breathing so heavily that it was almost painful. "Just don't say anything right now."
Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe the sedative had a side effect on you, but as soon as he tried to pull you out of the tub completely, your hand slipped down his chest to his groin — your sneaky fingers instantly playing with the buckle of his belt, causing a shaky groan to escape his lips. Dazed, you moved your hand lower to feel the outline of his thick cock getting harder under your touch, but as you were about to unzip his pants, his firm hand stopped you, confusing your cloudy mind and inducing you to raise your eyes to meet his. He could swear no one had ever looked at him like that — so innocently, yet so sinfully. 
"Cupcake, you don't want this," Patrick murmured, removing your hand. "Trust me."
"I do want this!" You replied in a trembling voice, pouting like a child.
"You're so fucking lost right now, you just don't understand," he manhandled you out of the tub and you almost punched him in his beautiful face, but Bateman paid no attention to your attempt to hit him. "Towels, where are they?"
Huffing, he lifted you up, and only then did you calm down, wrapping your hands and legs around him as securely as you could, like you were afraid of falling off the roof of the skyscraper. 
After you pointed at the bathroom counter, Bateman carefully moved towards it to take some big, white towel and wrap it around you — he was drying you off so gently and attentively, it almost made you cry again. 
Emotions were overtaking you.
Patrick didn't even say a word when he was done, he just got another dry towel and swaddled you in it like in a cocoon before carrying you out of the bathroom bridal style. Somehow, he managed to find the way to your bedroom, but once he saw your bed, he scowled and remarked: “Jesus, this bed is so small.”
“I love my bed.” You murmured in reply, hugging his neck and pressing yourself closer against his warm body.
Bateman couldn't help but chuckle in amusement, giving you a brief forehead kiss and sitting you down on the bed. As soon as you lost physical contact with him, you leaned on your elbows, watching him turn around and walk away.
“Patrick! Please, don’t go!” 
Your words echoed inside his head like the most sacred plea, they made him stop and looked in your direction. “I need to remove my clothes since they’re pretty damp,” he checked himself, with a visible disgust on his face. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Be a good girl, and just wait for me here, okay?”
“Fine.” You mumbled and took the plushy bunny which was resting on your bed next to you.
This scene made him chuckle before he left your bedroom. Now you were completely alone with your thoughts, they didn't wait a second to start eating you from the inside again. With your eyes closed, you lay on your back and began to count.
One, two, three…
What if he lied saying that he would return? Gosh, you wanted him to leave the moment you came here, so why were you getting so upset thinking about him leaving you alone just as you asked him for?
Four, five, six…
The inner voice kept reminding you how many times Patrick has hurt you, how many times he made you cry, how many times you felt like a toy in his hands. You gritted your teeth, pressing your hands against your head to stop thinking.
Seven, eight, nine…
How many times have you promised yourself that you would break out from this circle of lies, pain and suffering? 
“Stop it!” You whimpered, shutting your eyes as firm as you could until the tears started to form.
Ten.
“Stop what?” His voice—it was like a lifeline, like a light in the end of the tunnel, it was everything you needed here and now.
The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was his almost naked form, namely his toned tiddies and his mouth watering V-line, not to mention his perfect abs and the small trail of hair below his navel.
“For one second I thought you would just leave.” You looked into his hazel eyes, which were partly covered by his messy, brown hair.
“In wet clothes?” He giggled and stepped closer to your bed. It was so hard to ignore the bulge in his tight white underwear, but you tried your best not to stare at it. “Feeling better?"
“Yes, I think y-yes,” you swallowed hard when Bateman sat on the edge of your small bed and drew an invisible line across your ankle. “Can I… ask you for something?”
“You can try.” His voice got lower, sending shivers down your spine.
Panting, you uncovered yourself, putting the towel aside and letting him admire the view of your beautiful body, a pleasure he gladly took, his thirsty eyes roaming all over your curves, especially your full breasts and your inviting neck.
“What do you want, Cupcake?” His hand slides up to your hip, teasing the sensitive skin and making you gasp from need. “Tell me.”
“I need you,” you bit your lower lip, frowning from how embarrassed you were. “I n-need you more than ever.”
With no rush, Bateman bent down to your belly to press a brief kiss which elicited a soft moan to fall from your shaky throat. “Show me where you need me.”
You were about to lost it at any second, as the mind-blowing passion was crashing over you like a fucking tsunami, and you didn’t even know if you would survive this. 
Could that be the moment of no return for both of you?
Stifling a moan, you took his big palm and guided between your opened legs—the sound of his fingers sliding along your oozed folds made you arched your back and you thought your heart would break out from your chest. Your heavy breathes filled up the room, and once you felt his hot lips on your mound, you nearly squeaked, creasing the sheets beneath you.
Patrick was enjoying every second of this moment, savoring the taste of your skin, reveling in all your little salacious noises when he encircled his arms around your legs and swiped his tongue over your throbbing clit.
That was the last drop of your resistance and you couldn't control it anymore, throwing your head back and mewling sensually: “Mmhm, Daddy…! You make me f-feel so good.”
“Are you sure you want this?” His sudden question pierced through your head like an electric pulse.
Gulping, you got up a bit to look down at him, his cheeks, neck and shoulders were already flushed, his hair was disheveled and his eyes were as dark as night.
“Yes,” you responded shortly, feeling a tight knot forming inside your lower abdomen just from being so close to his face. “Taste me, Daddy, please… I want to get lost… in you.”
“I see,” he said, hovering over you for a moment to grab the plushy bunny, then handing it to you with a mischievous grin. "Little girls always keep their favorite toys close?”
As soon as you held the bunny, Bateman got back to his previous position, fondling your hips here and there, then he kissed your inner thigh and put your legs together before bending them and pressing against your chest.
“Stay like that.”
After saying that, he brushed away his wavy locks, spit on your pussy and made several, barely sensible, strokes along your bundle of nerves, his sturdy arms were holding your legs to fixate you in one place as his ministrations were making it hard for you to stay still.
“Awww, P-Patrick,” you keened and squeezed the plush toy in your hand, feeling so dirty yet so high from the way his wet tongue was painting various ornaments on your taut lower lips. “I’m gonna faint…”
“Mmm,” he moaned against your feverish little bud before he took it inside his mouth, sucking it so deliciously that your eyes rolled back into your head, your inner walls were already spasming. “You’re my sweet little Cupcake.”
“Yes! Yes, please!”
Slurping at your soaked cunt, Bateman let you rest your legs on his shoulders and pull on his brown hair as you wanted to bring him even closer, moving your hips towards his face. God, you were such a wet moaning mess and when he shoved his long fingers inside of your dripping slit, you lost connection with reality and ascended to the apex of ecstasy.
His fingers were moving inside and outside of you like a clock-work, so smoothly and fast, since he knew your body so perfectly, it was quite simple for him to find your spongy G - spot. Once he started to stimulate it, your toes began to curve and your whole body was jolting as if you were hit by the eclectic shock.
The moment of your orgasm was as astonishing and relieving as a sip of water in the arid desert. But even after you cummed, Patrick didn’t stop eating you out, fingering you harder, so your juices were gashing around your sweaty bodies, the sheets beneath you were already wet and you didn’t know how you would live tomorrow when he leaves you.
“Mmmmh, I’mma cum again, D-Daddy!” You whimpered, squirming around the bed and pressing the plushy bunny against your face as you were on the verge of tears – overstimulation hitting pretty hard.
Bateman only growled in response and stuffed your soaked pussy with another finger, rhythmically swirling his hot tongue around your throbbing tip while his sneaky hand traced up along your shivering body to grope one of your breasts and pinch your engorged nipple.
“Ahhh—GOSH…! Pat...” Your voice cracked as you cummed so hard all around his face that your wetness was literally running down his chin. But he didn’t care, because the only thing that mattered for him was bringing you as much pleasure as he could.
Even when he was panting heavily against your abused cunt, and he almost couldn't feel his fingers anymore, he continued to lap at your cleft. By that moment your legs were looped around his head and you couldn’t stop twitching even for a second, with each lick he sent millions of tingles to your lower belly.
“Daddy, it’s t-too much… I can’t take it any longer.” You felt so goddamn sensitive, and your body was like jelly at this point.
“C’mon, babydoll,” he groaned in a raspy voice after he pulled on your clit with a nasty squeal. “You can give Daddy another one, can't you baby? For me, please?"
This time Patrick buried his tongue as deep inside your womb as he could, licking you from the inside out. He repeated the motion, making you climax countless times in a row, until your little frame couldn't bear it anymore. Soon, you drifted off with a smile of joy on your face, holding the plushy bunny close to your chest. Long time ago that toy was your only friend, but now it seemed like you have become a toy yourself. But unlike the plush bunny, it was obvious that you weren't the only toy for your owner.
Why did it hurt so good to be alive?
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You heard a faint voice calling you and asking for help, but no matter how hard you tried to follow it and find it—all you could see was darkness before your eyes. Scared, you moved along the dark alley, surrounded by shadows, shivering from the abnormal cold, and for a second you even thought you were already dead. But when the voice called you again, you finally realized that it was your inner voice, but it sounded so sad, even compared to your darkest days.
"How did you end up like this, (y/n)?" Your own reflection spoke to you, each word cutting through your heart like a dagger. "You're so pathetic and weak, what would Mom and Dad say if they knew about your 'successful' life in New York?"
Frowning, you closed your hands around your ears to stop this madness, but the more you tried to ignore it, the louder the voice became in your head.
"Look what you've done to yourself! Do you really think he cares about you?" 
"Leave me alone!" You yelled at your shadow copy and ran down the alley, but there seemed to be no escape.
"Wake the fuck up! Bateman is just using you for his own needs, and you let him treat you like a fucking toy. Being in debt to him is not an excuse!" You could hear it even with your ears closed and there was nowhere to hide.
"SHUT UP!" You sped up, the cold air hitting your face mercilessly, but you didn't care. "Get out of my head!"
God, it was so fucking absurd to argue with yourself.
Perplexed and scared, you suddenly realized that the faster you were running the louder your inner voice was getting, bringing you a sharp headache as if a million needles cut into your brain at once. It hurt really bad.
“Patrick! Patrick, where are you?” You cried out as the darkness was clouding around you with each passing second. “Please, I need you…” A single tear slid down your warm cheek when you felt your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen as though you were drowning. “Pat-Patrick…”
Slowly closing your eyes, you let the void consume you, which actually brought you some relief, because now you were free from pain and sorrow, reveling in the sweet space of non-existence.
A loud gasp bounced against the walls of your small bedroom, signaling of your eventual awakening. Panting, you sat on the bed only to see Bateman’s sleepy form next to you—he was sleeping like a baby, laying on his back and sniffling from time to time. Shocked, you were trying your best to regain your composure and steady your heavy breathing, not even noticing that you were drenched in sweat. 
Quietly, you slipped out from under the covers to find yourself completely naked, so the next thing you did was find something to put on. Subsequently, you rushed inside your small bathroom and saw Bateman’s clothes drying off on the battery—the memories of the recent events flashed across your mind like a slow-motion movie. First, you were taking a bath—which was still full of cold water—then you nearly drowned but Patrick came in time and literally saved you. The next flashbacks made you lean on the sink and hold back your breath—his eager mouth on your cunt, forcing you to lose your mind and cum again and again until you eventually drifted off. 
Jesus Christ.
Embarrassed, you quickly opened the water and washed your face several times until you cooled down a bit. After you regain your composure, you fasten your terry robe and head to the kitchen as you were so starved that you even had a stomach ache. 
New York was already awake, and the sun was high above the horizon, shining so brightly in the windows that you had to close your blinds and thank God it was Sunday and you didn't have to go to the office because your head was spinning due the aftereffect of your sedative pills. Speaking of them—once you saw the jar with pills on the kitchen counter you threw it into the rubbish without any second thought, yet you didn’t want Bateman to know that he had an influence on your decision. When you closed the door to the kitchen, you accidentally slammed it harder than you should have, and it cracked so loudly that it sounded like a bundle of dishes broke at the same time.
"Damn it!" You cursed to yourself, pressing a palm to your face, certain that the noise would wake Bateman up.
Panicking a bit, you retreated to your bedroom and as soon as you stepped in you saw the man of your dreams stretching out and yawning so adorable, that for a moment you just froze in your place, not capable of taking your eyes off from Bateman’s disheveled hair and his broad chest.
With a low growl, Patrick pulled the blanket away and finally noticed you. "Woah, Cupcake, was that you?" The man chuckled, casually flexing his muscles as he looked at the mirror next to the door where you were standing. "I thought something had exploded outside."
Abashed, you quickly adjusted your robe from his piercing gaze. "Sorry, I can be really..."
"Clumsy?" Smiling broadly, Bateman leaned back against the headboard and crossed his arms. 
"Yes, clumsy," you tugged with your fingers, briefly glancing down—damn, he seemed to be the only person who could embarrass you so easily. "Well...do you want anything?"
"Hmmm, let me think," Patrick hummed before he thoughtfully pressed a finger to his plump lips. "I probably have something on my mind," Bateman gave you a mischievous grin when he saw your curious look and smoothed his golden brown hair. "How about a morning blowjob?" Your instant reaction was a mixture of anger and embarrassment, which made the man's face look even more smug. "Relax! I'm joking." 
Of course he wasn't joking—you knew it and couldn't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest. "I'd pretend I didn't hear that," you said, finally looking away from his sturdy body. "How about breakfast?"
"That sounds really good."
Shocked, you took a moment to think about the possible options you could cook for him since you didn’t really expect him to give you a positive answer. “I can offset you with a scrambled egg and some fresh orange juice.”
With a satisfied grin, the man slowly got up from your modest bed and stretched his muscles again; he was definitely making it on purpose. “Oh, that’s nice,” he almost groaned when he cocked his head to one side then to another. “I can’t say the same about your bed, Cupcake… you should change the mattress if you want to keep walking with a straight back.”
And though Patrick was lamenting, you could say he said it almost affectionately—as if he really cared about you, yet you brushed this conclusion off as fast as your heart was pounding right now when the man got closer to you; his tall, massive frame towered over you like a mountain.
“I also would like to have a shower, if…there’s such an option,” Bateman smirked and briefly traced a finger along your cheek, coaxing you to close your eyes for a second and revel in the soft sensation of his touch. “Did you sleep well?”
A sudden question that fell from his lips like a suffocated gasp, a tender stroke on your shoulder and you were already melting as Patrick knew what he was doing, every touch, every glance of his brown hypnotic eyes was deliberate and smooth, leaving you no chance but to surrender to his demand.
“Yes, I slept like a baby, though I can hardly remember the things that happened before I blacked out,” you lied with an embarrassed smile. “You can have a shower and use whatever soaps and towels you’ll see.” Thee more you talked the more his lips curled, especially when you allowed him to bring you closer into his embrace. “But don’t expect anything extraordinary.”
“I won’t, I promise,”  the man chuckled and playfully pinched your ass. “Sleeping beauty.”
With that, Patrick walked past you, leaving you alone for a moment, giving you a chance to pull yourself together. And when you seemed to relax, a thought of his clothes that had been left in the bathroom popped up in your mind. ‘Oh God, I forgot!’
Nervously, you rushed after Patrick into your bathroom to see that the door was already closed, implying that he was inside and probably naked, though you couldn’t hear the sound of flowing water. Embarrassed, you coughed quietly and knocked several times.
“Yeah?” Bateman’s muffled voice echoed through the door. 
“Patrick, I…” a short pause turned into a breathless gasp. “If you’re not already in the shower, may I come in?”
After a moment, the door in front of you opened and you saw Patrick wrapped in a white towel. “Something wrong?”
“No,” you giggled nervously and sneaked inside the bathroom to quickly grab his clothes. “I just wanted to iron your…suit and stuff, while you’re in the shower…” Quickly, you hovered his garments over your arm and walked past him, hoping he wouldn’t ask any questions, despite his surprised expression. “I’m so sorry for dumping your clothes yesterday.”
With these words, you deftly avoid his grasp as you knew he’d definitely try to make you embarrassed even more. “(Y/n)!”
“Take a shower. I’ll make you breakfast as I promised.” 
This time, the man didn’t try to catch you or follow you, thankfully. So, you could safely make it to your living room where you set an ironing board and put his shirt first to iron. Wrapped in thoughts, you didn’t even notice how carefully you were ironing his clothes, you couldn’t even remember doing the same with your stuff but maybe you were just scared of ruining it since everything he wore was utterly expensive. ‘This suit probably costs like my monthly rent.’ Sighing, you put the shirt aside when you heard the water flowing sound and your mind instantly gave you an image of Patrick’s naked body, enveloped in steam and slightly flush from the heat. ‘Damn, I should stop or I'm gonna ruin something.’ When it was time to iron his tie, you ran your finger along the smooth red fabric, draped in beautiful intricate patterns—you couldn't deny that you had a thing for his ties, for all of them—you smiled to yourself before bringing it to your lips, you could still feel his cologne on it. This tantalizing scent was driving you crazy, it fit him so perfectly as if it was made specially for him, but even if that was true, you wouldn’t be surprised at all, regarding how rich this man was. The moment you finished ironing his pants, you seemed to hear his voice coming from the bathroom. ‘Perfect timing.’
Slightly tensed, you stopped next to the door. “Patrick? Did you call me?” When he didn’t reply, you became even more stirred, so without really caring about seeing him naked, you opened the door and stepped in. “Patrick?” Since your bathroom was much smaller than his, you bumped into his massive frame, squealing in surprise. “Oh God, sorry!”
“Oh, Cupcake,” he wrapped his hands around your shoulders before carefully cupping your face. “I hope you didn’t break your nose against my firm chest?”
Frowning, you gave him a dead glare but he only snickered back. “What happened? Why did you call me?”
“Do you have an extra toothbrush for me? I’ll buy you another one and…”
You stopped him halfway and removed his hands to stroll to the sink and opened the cabinet above it. “Here. There’s also a razor if you need.”
Smirking, Bateman sneaked behind you and pressed his wet body against yours. “Do ya think I need to shave?” He rubbed the mirror from steam to check himself, sliding a hand along his chiseled chin.
“I…I don’t know…I just thought in case you need to, the razor is here.”
“Mhm…” he hummed and before you knew it he nuzzled against your exposed neck, forcing you to gasp and stepped back right into his embrace, just like he planned it. “Does that tickle, Cupcake?” 
‘Dear Lord, please give me the strength to survive this.’
Staying still, you just swallowed hard and let him continue to attack your neck, which he did with precious care before, but now, Patrick also used his mouth and teeth, and that was already too much.
"I think you definitely have some stubble," you laughed, trying to turn it into a joke. But as soon as you tried to walk away, he pulled you back into his strong arms, and that was not funny. "Breakfast Patrick, I have to make breakfast, did you forget?"
"Not really, but I need your help."
"Help?"
The man gave you a devilish smile before lifting you up and sitting you on the bathroom counter, not even giving you a chance to protest. Then Bateman took the shaving cream, checking the brand name skeptically, but then averting his eyes, probably thinking it was better not to know. With deliberate, calculated movements, he applied the cream to his cheekbones, moving up and down his face. The sight was something you never thought you'd find so damn hot that you didn't even make a sound, just watched him carefully prepare to shave.
"Have you ever seen a man shave, darling?" Patrick asked in a cheeky tone, surely noticing the way you were staring at him.
You shook your head. “No,” you shamelessly checked on him, following the little buds of water slipping down his torso. “God, this is such a silly question, don’t you think?”
Instead of answering, Bateman flexed his muscles while watching in the mirror and missing the way you rolled your eyes. “Well, now you finally have a chance.” The man winked at you and grabbed the razor. “You know, I really like your place, it’s pretty clean.”
“You already said that.”
“Oh, did I?”
“Yes,” you crossed your arms and turned away just the moment when the man started to glide the razor against his jawline—you thought the blade would become blunt because his cheekbones were too sharp—his every action was smooth and skillful. “That was the first thing you said when we came in.”
“That only means that it’s really very clean here.”
Huffing, you fixed your robe and cursed to yourself, ‘Why does he always have to be like this?’
Opening the faucet, Patrick cleaned his face after the last stroke of the razor. “Can you check here?” 
Confused, you gave him a questioning gaze when he turned halfway, pointing at the apex of his jaw. Sheepishly, you touched his freshly shaved skin, feeling a slight prickly sensation. “I think it’s still a bit stubbly.” 
“Aha,” Bateman acknowledged and quickly took your hand in his big one, briefly kissing the top of it and giving you the razor. “I told you, I’d need your help, Cupcake.” “How do you even do it yourself?”
“The razors I use are much sharper than this one, honey,” he chuckled but once you placed the razor against his skin he stopped moving. “Just be careful.”
The last phrase struck a chord inside your chest and you even stopped for a moment to take a deep breath before you eventually began to shave the rest of the stubble. All the while, Patrick would glance at you attentively, his hazel irises like hypnotizing spirals, so you forced yourself to stay focused on the razor and the patch of his skin still covered in a shaving cream.
“You have such soft skin,” you mumbled mostly to yourself but you were sure he heard it. “It’s so pleasurable to touch.”
“(Y/n),” he suddenly called out your name in a stern voice. “I think we should talk about yesterday.” “No…”
"Listen to me," he grabbed the hand that held the razor and pushed it to the side. "You should stop taking that sedative."
“It was just an accident.” 
“You could die, Cupcake…”
"I...I know...I owe you for saving me," you finally stated, releasing your hand to finish shaving him. "But let me take care of my life."
“Ouch.”
“Oh my God! Did I hurt you?” You jolted in panic, almost dropping the razor as if you were hit by the electric shot.
“Yes, you did,” Bateman glided a palm along his now perfectly shaved cheeks. “With your words.”
Letting out a sad sigh, you put the razor into the sink next to you and reached for another towel for him as you watched him washing his face. The more you kept silent, the more palpable the tension was getting in the air and after a brief moment of contemplating, you decided that the best option now was just to go to the kitchen and cook.
“Toothbrush is here.” You murmured and got up from the bathroom counter, about to leave but Patrick stopped you. 
First, you glanced down at his grasp around your wrist, then you raised your eyes to meet his walnut ones, now they were absolutely dark and demanding. Inch by inch, the man was getting closer, soon you could feel the fresh scent of your soap on his wet skin as he pressed you along his broad form, one hand rested on the small of your back, while another snaked beneath your robe to outline one of your hard peaks, which were visible through the fabric.
“Pat-Patrick…”
“No more ‘Daddy’ again, huh?” he whispered into your ear, playing with your stray lock. “Do you remember how many times you called me like that last night?”
‘No! I don’t remember, I shouldn’t remember this, I…’
“...your sweet voice sounded so good with all these little dirty pleas, ‘Daddy, don’t stop, mmhm-please!’ Uhhh, that was really something,” Bateman crooned against your neck, forcing you to step back until he trapped you between his massive body and bathroom counter. “Got you.”
There was nothing to say more, once his warm mouth latched on yours, the urge to deny him fading with every second of the kiss, especially when Patrick savagely sucked on your lower lip and drew his tongue across it as if asking for permission to slip inside.
Gasping, you instinctively inclined your head to the side for a moment and the man used it for showering your delicate neck with little peeks which then transformed into wet, red marks. This sweet torture could last forever if you suddenly didn’t press your palm against his naked chest in a determined way.
“We can’t,” you protested when he got down to kiss you again. “You’re engaged, don’t you think it’s so mean to…cheat on your fiance?”
The man couldn’t hold back a scoff. “What does that have to do with anything? You owe me, Cupcake, you owe me a lot.” 
Annoyed, you made an attempt to push him away, but you obviously failed as Patrick was too strong, looming over you like a mountain. “If you mean the last time—I already thanked you and moreover, I didn’t ask you to do it, you know?” You watched his face changing into something more impish, the corners of his lips curled up as if everything was happening according to his plan. “You always decide for me…maybe it’s time to stop?”
Bateman chuckled. “Maybe it’s time to finally open your eyes?”
“Are you…really telling me this?!”
“You owe me a pretty big sum of money,” the man suddenly turned the conversation in another way. “And we had a deal…” Carefully, he trailed his finger along your cheek like an artist admiring his most precious creation. “Do you think I’d be so patient with your bad attitude to me if I were not really into you, hmm?”
The last words made you swallow hard and turned away for a moment, as you were on the verge of tears. Did he really just confirm that there was some kind of affection for you from his side?
“I…I know I owe a lot of money, but believe me, I’ll back them soon,” you removed his arms from your waist but the next second, Patrick placed them on the bathroom counter behind you from both sides, not allowing you to go away. “Please, believe me.”
“I don’t need that fucking money,” Patrick barked and unexpectedly gripped your shoulders, but when he noticed the glowing fear in your eyes, the man loosened his grasp and cupped your face. “I need you. Both your body and soul.”
Closing your eyes, you wanted to sink through the ground. “You want me to do things that you can’t buy with money…” you declared with a chilling coldness in your voice. “Other women are okay with being your toys, but I’m not. Now, let's finish this conversation, it won’t lead to anything.”
A tired sigh broke out from Bateman’s broad chest and for a second he even thought to let you go and turned over the page of the story of two broken souls, who met themselves so suddenly. Maybe now was that exact moment he was waiting so long, the moment to open the cards and confess, even though Patrick could hardly believe it would work.
"You don't seem to be listening to me at all," was all the man could say. "And that's not surprising, since no one really listens to me. Because...uhh...because no one really cares about what really bothers me…" He let you go and stepped back. "And you...I thought you were the only person who...who actually tried to understand me and act naturally."
"Patrick..."
He raised his hand in an eloquent gesture to let him continue. "You probably did it all because of the debt, but...I'll be honest, sometimes I made myself believe that you weren't acting like this just because of the money."
"Is this another manipulation?" You asked bluntly, holding back your tears. "How could I believe you after all the things you did to me? How many times did you treat me like a puppet that you no longer wanted to play with? And not to mention that you turned out to be engaged!" You grabbed your head and leaned against the bathroom counter, massaging your temples. "This is already too much."
The man huffed and cautiously approached you. With a soft, feathery movement, he touched your hands and pulled them away from your strained face. "At least you seem to care that I'm engaged," he said abruptly, moving you closer so that your head was now pressed against his massive chest. "I know it's overwhelming, (y/n). But..." the words suddenly stuck in his throat like a lump. "You're not alone in this." Patrick urged curly, running his large palm along the crown of your head before resting his chin on it, inhaling the scent of your soft hair. 
‘Not alone’, you repeated inside your head and looked up into his brown eyes, which were now so stern and contemplative—you have never seen them like that before. This man, oh God, this man was such a mess, he was making you lose the ground beneath your feet with his sudden confessions, but in the end, actions spoke louder than words, even though you wanted to believe him and sink into the strong feeling you had towards him—you simply couldn’t allow yourself to get lost in him as you would burn out like a match.
All the while you were standing like that, Bateman was hoping you would say something in return, but when you didn’t, he just released you from his embrace without saying a thing. Overwhelmed by emotions, you left the bathroom and let him finish his hygienic routine in private.
A bit later, you didn’t even remember how you cooked a breakfast for both of you, the only thing you did remember was his positive comment that it tasted pretty good. You couldn’t help but smile, though your plate still stood untouched. Patrick noticed that, but didn’t make any comments about that.
“To be honest, I really didn’t expect it to be that nice,” he chuckled and finished his glass of mineral water that he didn’t really like. Quickly checking his Rolex, which he wore right after he took a shower, he added, “I’m afraid it’s time for me to go. Can you please bring me my clothes?”
“Sure.” You raised up and quickly strolled to the iron board where his suit and shirt were waiting to be presented to their owner. “Here, I ironed them for you.”
Bateman froze in shock for a moment. “You…ironed them?”
“Uh, yes, but I did it very carefully, I know everything you wear is utterly expensive,” you gave him his garments and he started to examine every thing with meticulous attention. “I…I thought you wouldn’t like to go outside in rumpled clothes.”
"That's… that's very sweet of you, Cupcake. Really…" he replied, his blush barely noticeable to anyone but you. "Thanks…thanks for everything."
“You’re welcome.” You murmured shyly, crossing your arms over the chest and watching him getting up from the table and walking to your bedroom to dress up.
Moments later, you both were standing in your small hallway, Patrick fixing his tie and coat, looking at his reflection in the mirror.
“How do I look?” He asked nonchalantly, putting on the headphones of his Walkman.
Slightly upset, you leaned against the wall, your eyes gliding up and down his elegant, tall silhouette; the way the dark blue trench coat sat on his broad shoulders made you almost gasp in admiration.
“Perfect as always,” you stepped closer to adjust the collar of his shirt. “You’re like a Vogue cover which came alive.”
Fluttered, Bateman smiled and caught your hand to place a kiss on top of it. “And I always believe your compliments, they are so…sincere or…” he paused and looked into your eyes. “...or I’m just fooling myself.”
His usual chuckling now was less happy and it stirred something inside of you, so when you got up on your toes to kiss his cheek, Patrick took it like another chance to be intimate with you. With unhidden tenderness, the man pulled you into his arms to seal your mouths with a soft but passionate kiss which brought some unexpected relief for both of you.
“You know, I…I really appreciate your courage to be open with me,” you suddenly confessed when he broke the kiss, still holding you close. “It’s just that I need some time to think over things and…my life is such a mess.”
"Oh, you don't have to tell me that," Bateman sneered ironically to himself. "Since I know who made your life so messy," he stopped you from saying anything else by pressing his finger to your lips. Then the man slowly leaned down so that your foreheads now touched in the most intimate way. "Promise me you won't take those pills again."
"And you promise me you won't say things like no one gives a fuck about you," you gripped his arm, rubbing his firm bicep under the soft fabric of his coat. "Because I do give a fuck about you, even though I don't really like it."
"We'll talk about...us. That's the only promise I can make right now."
"Us?"
"You heard what I said," he pinched your nose, just like after the fashion show. "I'll call you today and Cupcake?" He leaned down to whisper in your ear, accidentally brushing his nose against your neck. "You're always on my mind, but I still haven't decided if it's good or not." The way he used your words to tease you brought a broad smile to your face, but the next time, all joy faded as the man stroked your cheek one last time before stepping aside to check himself in the mirror. "Hope to see you soon, darling."
With that he closed the door behind him and as much as you hated saying goodbye, you hated the moments like that, when you couldn’t control yourself as your emotions peaked, causing your knees to buckle and you stopped yourself from falling down only because you managed to lean on the nearby wall. The whole thing about your relationship with Bateman was one big mistake, as you would never find yourself belonging to this world—your meeting was a joke of fate—no less to say. Although you knew it, your heart was like a rebellion who refused to listen, to obey, to accept the truth that there were no chances to turn this situation in a way that would help these relationships to become healthy and normal. ‘Normal, huh? Do yuppies even know such a word?’ Laughing ironically to yourself, you got up and went back into your kitchen to wash the dishes. The sight of Patrick sitting here with a glass of water in his hand was still so fresh in your mind, but now you began to doubt if that really had happened. 
All day later, you couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t eat, waiting for his call but he never did it. It was not surprising after the shit that man had done, but today you were really hoping he would keep his word. But your hopes were broken to pieces again, in the most brutal possible way because you really decided to give it a try and believed him.
When the night came to New York City, you were standing in your living room with a cup of freshly brewed coffee, thinking about what would you do next and trying to think less about what Patrick was doing right now…and even less about with whom he probably could be. ‘...with Courtney or maybe with his fiance, Evelyn?’ You snickered sadly to yourself and finished your drink. Coffee was supposed to help you to keep awake but instead it only made you even more sleepy, so you didn’t even realize how you fell asleep on your little couch while putting down the notes of how today’s day had gone in your diary.
The next moment you were awakened by the sudden doorbell, which caught you off guard and even scared you a bit as you didn’t wait for anyone. Quickly enveloping your robe, you got up and saunted to the door to look at the peephole—you would lie to yourself if you said you weren’t expecting someone specific, but when you saw nothing but flowers, your heart skipped a beat. 
With one swift motion, you opened the door and an unknown guy instantly greeted you with a polite tone. “Good morning, miss (y/n),” he then handed you a big bouquet of red and white roses—it was so heavy you could barely hold it. “Uh, can you please put your sign here?”
Confused, you pressed the flowers to your chest to see the man’s face. “Are you… are you sure it’s for me?”
The courier only smiled and giggled. “Of course, but you can check the address, if you want,” the man showed you the paper with the order details. “We make no mistakes, miss, that’s why our service is the best around New York.”
“I see,” you responded and put your signature on the place he pointed you. “But, can I ask you who sent me this?”
“There’s a card inside if I’m not mistaken,” the courier replied and with that he put the paper inside his bag. “Have a good day, ma'am.”
“Thanks.” 
With that, you closed the door and somehow proceeded into your living room where you put the bouquet on the coffee table and began to look for the vase for it. When you managed to find it, you poured some water and placed the flowers into it, then you remembered the courier’s words about the card and the next second you were already leafing through the flowers. Soon, a small white card caught your attention and when you picked it out, the first thing you noticed was two beautiful letters—P.B. in the end of the text which said: 
“Good morning, my sweet Cupcake, 
I’m sorry I didn’t call you tonight, I was extremely busy and didn’t really have any free time, but I hope this little gift would cheer you up a bit. What do you think about going to a yacht club these weekends? I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon. 
Utterly yours, P.B.” 
Your hands began to shake the moment you finished reading, but you managed to regain your composure. Driven by the unbridled happiness inside your chest, you leaned down to inhale the sweet scent of flowers—God, it felt like a dream. And speaking of dreaming—you were still so sleepy that after you finally calmed down, you decided to come back into the bed and nap a little bit longer. The sheets were still smelling of him, coaxing you to rub your face against the pillows and imagine him being here with you and somehow, you finally realized how deep this man was rooted inside your heart. ‘Utterly yours…’ You kept replaying these words inside your head until you drifted off to another dream, but this time, it was not a nightmare, but a heaven where Patrick was only yours, and you were his only one.
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P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!
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myfictionaldreams · 1 year
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Please Rest! // Steddie x f!Reader
Summary:You always wake up from date night feeling achy and exhausted and sometimes, you don't always prioritise your rest when you need it most. However, it seems great minds think alike where Steve and Eddie are concerned. 
A/N: Hello lovely readers, welcome to my new poly series that I have been absolutely obsessed with the idea of. I hope you love it just as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Of course, this doesn't mean my other series will be neglected, I'd just like to enjoy some time with my two favourite guys from Hawkins as well!
TW: discussion of reminders to eat, not with regards to ED but the conversation is repeatedly discussed.
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, fluff, light angst, domestic bliss, dom/sub undertones, lots of pet names (no use of Y/N), fingering, teasing, begging, Sex in Eddie’s van, rough sex, multiple orgasms, subspace, creampie, overstimulation praise kink, delayed aftercare, outdoor sex, passing out, discussion of remembering to eat
Words: 10.5 k (hahah oops)
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link
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Every day typically started the same. Sneaking out of bed in an attempt to not wake your boyfriends; brushing back unmanageable bed hair on both of their heads as you whispered goodbyes in the early morning hours. Before even the sun had crept over the horizon as you rose to attend the hospital where you worked as a student nurse.
Today however was a rare day, simply because: it was your day off. And yet, due to your natural alarm clock, you were still rising at the unnatural hour of the early morning. Tossing and turning did nothing to drag you back into the sleeping realm, even trying to cuddle closer to both the overheated bodies who you were sharing a bed with, but nothing seemed to help.
So once more, you were sneaking out of bed, moving steadily and with enough stealth that it would make one of the sleeping men proud. Even with the streetlamp outside illuminating the bedroom in a comforting orange hue, you still had to fumble dramatically across the floor until your fingers grazed over soft material, lifting it to your nose and taking a sniff. Vanilla, cedar and hairspray: Steve’s jumper.
A moment later you were pulling on the discarded jumper and a pair of your underwear that had also been left in the pile of yesterday’s clothes. Now partially dressed, you were able to make a pot of coffee and sit out on the porch and watch the sunrise whilst assessing just how much you were aching from the night before.
If you had a day off from the hospital, it usually meant one thing, date night followed by a thoroughly rough fucking, just as you liked it and now, you were feeling the effects today. All your muscles were aching and tender areas were littered underneath the skin from the restraints, spanks, grabbing and fucking from both men who were still soundly asleep.
It was your favourite pastime. If you had a day off then you’d all release the pent-up emotions with a hard fuck and then rest the following day which is exactly your plans for today. Maybe watch a movie or if you’re feeling extra exuberant then catch up on the laundry that seemed to be neglected in the corner of the bedroom from the past few days.
Your coffee was long finished by the time your body was warmed by the morning sun, the birds beginning to chirp awake with the rest of Hawkins. Well… most of Hawkins as you observed the car arriving and parking to the trailer across the yard. Eddie’s Uncle Wayne exited his car after finishing his night shift at the plant, probably on his way to bed but not before he turned in the direction of your shared trailer, seeing you there, raising his hand and giving you a wave which you responded with enthusiastically with a smile. It was an easy decision for you all to decide on sharing a trailer, it was cheap which was what you needed during your studies and it wasn’t like Steve and Eddie were making lots of money with their jobs. The trailer was quiet, out of the way and you were able to make the area yours, it worked for you all.
Deciding now was the perfect time for your second cup of coffee and maybe time for breakfast, you traipsed back into your little home, listening intently into the bedroom and still hearing two sets of snores notifying you that they were both still asleep.
Searching through the refrigerator that desperately needed filling with groceries, you shrugged, “Bacon it is”, muttering under your breath as you began to prepare breakfast. As the bacon cooked and you decorated the table, the alarm clock began blaring in the bedroom, followed by two exaggerated groans, arguing then a bang as the alarm was slammed off.
“Breakfast is ready!”, you cheerfully shouted, happy they were both somewhat awake now as it meant you were able to turn on the radio, something you’d been itching to switch on since waking up, instantly swaying your hips to the music. Vaguely in the background, there was thudding as someone tiredly shuffled out of bed and into the bathroom. A couple of seconds later, much more subtle steps could be heard as you stood over the stove.
Two naked arms wrapped around your waist, enveloping you in warmth and safety as lips settled into the base of your neck, moving as Steve mumbled, “Have I ever told you how much I love having you home in the mornings”. You smiled and leaned back into the solid chest, letting him hold you and sway on the spot for a second before needing to return to cooking the bacon.
Steve didn’t remove himself from you, his arms still caged around your waist, as he waddled tiredly with you as you continued to finish the breakfast. Only when the food was prepared and plated on the table did you succumb to the man behind you, turning on the spot, arms lifting and slipping around Steve’s shoulders, kissing his neck as you hugged him back.
Steve hummed into the morning cuddle, clearly half asleep still as his eyes had yet to open and his comfort only increased as your fingers easily ran through his hair, pushing it back and away from his face. “How long have you been awake?” Steve asked, voice still muffled against your throat.
Pulling back a fraction so that you could cup his cheek, kissing the tip of his chin as you replied, “My usual time”.
“Rough”, he admitted, finally opening his eyes and smiling down as he took in your appearance. “Good morning”, his voice was still thick from just waking up but the pure look he was giving you with his warm honeyed eyes.
“Good Morning”, you responded with your smile, tilting up on your toes so that you could kiss his soft lips for a second before asking, “Could you get the coffee for me, please”.
“Sure thing, baby”.
As soon as Steve had untangled his limbs from around your body and began walking back to where you left the pot of coffee, you were lifting back onto the tips of your toes as Eddie had snuck in, shirtless and with a nest of curls swooping in to cover your face as he pulled you into his morning hug.
“You smell like coffee and sex”, he croaked whilst tasting the skin of your jaw with lazy kisses, a smile tugging at his lips as he felt the warmth blossom across your cheeks. In turn, you tried to kiss along his cheek that was covered in stubble, a look he had been experimenting with for a couple of months, and a look you very much enjoyed as you reached his lips but your face was still covered in Eddie’s hair.
Lifting your fingers from where they had settled on his toned shoulders, you tried to tame his wild morning curls, brushing them out of the way but your fingers got caught in tangles. “And you smell”, you paused for a moment, breathing him in, “surprisingly nice, is that coconut?” 
Eddie eased back from the hug, a grin spread broadly across his face, his dimples deepening in his cheeks that had your heart beating faster. “New shampoo, courtesy of Nancy. Gotta keep the curls up”, he dramatically shakes his hair back, his curls bouncing with the movement.
The three of you had a blissful breakfast, sat around the circular dinner table, Steve in the middle, Eddie to his right and you on his left. “I’ll bring you both lunch today, if you want. What time do you have it again?”
“12”, Eddie answered first, pausing his glugs of overly sweetened black coffee.
“12 30”, Steve then answered, as he placed his now empty glass of orange juice onto the table and squeezed your thigh that he was idly stroking circles on with the pad of his thumb.
“Perfect!” you say, cradling one of Eddie’s mugs that Wayne had given you upon moving in, the warmth soaking into your fingers from your second cup of coffee.
“You know”, Eddie pondered, lowering his cup onto the table, “I’m pretty sure driving all across Hawkins to deliver us lunch, is not classified as resting”.
Shrugging your shoulders, you tried to hide your smile by biting it at his voice of concern. “I’m not feeling too bad today”, this was only a half lie as you were definitely aching but you also knew your limit. Risking a glance towards both men beneath your eyelashes, teasing them and no longer hiding your smile, “Maybe you both didn’t go hard enough on me last night”.
“Oh, is that how we’re going to play today?” Steve’s eyebrows raised as his thumb brushed across his lower lip as he shuffled close to you in the circular booth, intention shining brightly in his eyes.
As he inched closer, you moved away, the fear of the chase about to occur but then a thought crossed your mind as you glanced at the clock. “Maybe another time because you both have to leave in three minutes”.
In sync, both of their heads snapped towards the clock and then rushed to clamber out of the booth, a string of curses leaving their lips as they scrambled to quickly get ready for work. As they did so, you slowly gathered the dirty plates and cups to place into the sink to begin washing up whilst chuckling to yourself listening to the grunts and bangs are Eddie and Steve rushed to get ready for work. 
“What do you want in your lunch?” you shouted over your shoulder, turning your face slightly as in turn, they rushed to your side now fully dressed, hands on your waist as they lean in to kiss your cheek with an audible ‘mwah’.
“Anything, love you!” Steve was the first to kiss and exit, tugging on his green vest as he ran out of the door and jumped into his car.
“Everything on mine please, love you more”, Eddie shouted, stumbling as he attempted to tug his shoes on as he followed Steve out of the door, leaning through his car door to kiss him goodbye before climbing into his van.
You couldn’t help but laugh at their antics, muttering “love you too”, under your breath as you continued washing up.
The next few hours passed by slowly and you made sure not to rush, not that you were able to with the ache remaining in your muscles. You weren’t able to relax either though, feeling as if you were on edge with how quiet it was being by yourself in the trailer, even with the radio extra loud, you still felt unsettled. Most of the time, being home alone was not an issue however after such an intense night, it was unnerving to be by yourself and without the comfort of one of them there, it was hard to keep distracted. Even with your attempts to clean the trailer, thoroughly wash the lingering scent of last night's escapades off of your skin and then decided on a pretty floral dress that put no restriction on your achy muscles.
By the time you were preparing the sandwiches, cheese for Steve and ‘everything’ for Eddie which was more whatever was left in the fridge, a simple of ham, cheese, tomato and pickle, and finally a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for you, you were ready to run from the trailer to your boys. 
Eddie was right, although you would never admit this to him for a lifetime of gloating that would come of it; you needed to rest and after fussing around the trailer all morning, now you were exhausted. However, whenever you stopped, that feeling of sombre loneliness crept back so you were on your feet until it was a reasonable time to get into your car.
Your first visit would be to Eddie’s work which was a guitar shop called PickPlex where he was able to play with guitars all day and on the odd occasion give kids lessons. It wasn’t too far from the trailer so it didn’t take you long to pull up to the parking lot.
The bell above the door chimed as you entered and before even stepping in, a deep voice welcomed you from the desk. “Hey there Missy, haven’t seen you in a while, how are you keeping?” Craig the shop owner greeted you, a man in his late 50s with tattoos covering his neck and arms but his real nickname was the gentle giant.
“Hey, Craig! Yeah, it’s been a while, I’ve been working and it’s finally my day off so-”, you held up the bag of Eddie and yours sandwiches, “Lunches need to be delivered”.
As you stopped talking, you were able to spot a head full of black curls perk up behind a display of guitars. Eddie’s boyish grin spread across his face, eyes lighting up as he spotted you and instantly jogged over, the chain on his belt jingling against his thigh as he approached. The closer he was, the more you had to stifle your laugh at his unkempt uniform. Clearly from his rush this morning to dress, he’d thrown on his discarded button-up black shirt that was heaped onto the floor which meant that it was creased today and you couldn’t help but feel more affection for him as you noticed he’d scribbled on his red name badge, changing his name from Edward to Eddie.
“Hey Angel”, he purred as he stepped up to you, leaning down to kiss your lips softly.
Smiling up at the man you teased, “Are you talking to me, or the guitars?”
Eddie’s head tilted as he bit the inside of his cheek, his dimples threatening to deepen in a smile that he was holding back at your sass. “The guitars are Sweetheart, you are my Angel”, even though it was a teasing and casual conversation, his words still managed to have your heart racing, especially as he dipped his face to kiss your cheek.
“It’s her day off and you’re making her bring you lunch, Munson? Thought you were better than that”, Craig joked as he leaned on the countertop.
Eddie turned on the spot to address his boss, “I’ll have you know that she insisted on it. Is the back room free?” he asked, nodding his head behind Craig who was shaking his head.
“No fraid not, Shan’s in there, kid”, referring to his wife having her lunch break already.
Shrugging his shoulders, Eddie turned back towards you, taking your spare hand and dragging you back towards the door you just entered through, “No worries, we’ll just be in my van”.
Waving your fingers at Craig, you leave with Eddie, almost skipping with glee towards where he’d parked in the van in the corner of the parking lot, under a canopy of drooping tree branches. Reaching the sliding side door of his white and plum-coloured van, Eddie opened it up and held out his tattooed hand for you to take.
Grasping his large rough hand in your own, you savoured the feeling of his cold, chunky rings as Eddie uttered, “M’lady”.
“Why, thank you sir”, the word sort of just slipped out at his chivalrous actions and you noted the way his breath hitched at the word as he helped you into the back of his van. It was exactly as it had been when you’d first met him a year and a half ago, an old mattress on the floor space, covered in blankets, sheets and pillows as this used to be his favourite place to get high but since being with you and Steve, the place had become a lot more frequently used for other such doings.
Eddie clambered into the back of the van as you sat against some pillows, making yourself comfortable, and he swiftly slide the door close behind him, giving you both some privacy and also pushing you both into dimmer lighting as his back windows had long since been blacked out by sheets.
Holding up his wrapped sandwiches you began to list what was in them, “I hope you like this version of ‘everything’, so you’ve got ham, cheese and-”, your words instantly died in your throat as Eddie crawled on his knees towards you, hand gently grazing over your jaw before he was closing the gap between your mouths.
Your grip on the sandwich bags released instantly so that you could cling to the collar of his uniform, pulling him even closer. It became heated quickly as he settled between your thighs, a movement that had them aching from being in similar positions all night but you were very much ignoring that right now.
Eddies face tilted to deepen the kiss, his tongue pressing desperately against your sealed lips and you were more than happy to allow him entrance, moaning as you could taste the lingering cigarette and cola mixture from his earlier breaktime treats.
Just as your fingers slipped beneath his collar and began to scratch your nails against his scalp, a move that had him shivering and moving closer, he seemed to falter and regrettably pull back from the kiss. Both of your lips still hovered over one another as he stated, “Angel, you should eat”. The affectionate warmth returned to your chest as he continued to try and look after you after last night.
You did appreciate it and you were hungry but right now, you were also hungry for something else as you reached for his hands, linking your fingers together and once again savouring the contrasting temperatures between his fingers and jewellery. “I can eat with Steve”, you confidently state, moving your lips just past his to caress his cheek. It wasn’t your intention to come and fuck him in his van but you’d been so touch-starved these last few hours that you’d take anything he was willing to give you right now.
Eddie once again leans back so that he can bore his rich, chocolatey brown eyes into your own, his tone soft and yet demanding as he asks, “You promise me that you’ll eat with Pretty Boy?”
“I promise to eat with Steve”.
It took him a second to seem convinced of your promise before he was diving his face lower to your neck, stubble scratching and teeth nipping the sensitive skin. “I haven’t forgotten what you said this morning by the way”, he says, words muffled by his actions on your neck.
“What?” you ask breathlessly, all thoughts disappearing from your mind as your eyes closed and head tilting back to give him more room, your hands squeezing his hands in need to hold him close.
Eddie continued to explain as he explored up towards your jawline, “About not going hard enough last night, I think you need to be more careful with your wording, Sweetheart”.
You couldn’t help but grin at your words during breakfast and with the atmosphere thickening in Eddie’s van, a noticeable dampening between your legs as your pussy hummed in arousal. You knew you shouldn’t continue to taunt, especially after how rough it was the night before but your response was already dangling in front of you, teetering on the tip of your tongue. “Oh? So now I’m Sweetheart, am I?”
Eddie’s lips paused their exploration as he once again leaned back on his knees to look at your grin. You weren’t often a bratty person and hated any repercussions that came from it, especially from Eddie as he usually liked to be the meaner dominant between him and Steve so you were currently skating on thin ice. Instead of giving you an answer in return, he moved his body away slightly, hands letting go of yours but only so that they could grip your hips so that he was able to pull your body further down so you were now lying on the mattress, giving him better access to crowd over your body.
His curly hair cascaded around his face, shadowing his handsome features in the low light as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling his crotch flush against yours, the material of your dress pushing up to naturally bunch around your waist. This touch was enough to distract you from the domineering response that was still pending to come from Eddie as he slowly rolled his hips, his jean-covered hardened cock pushing against your soaking panties.
Because you were watching his shadowed face, you didn’t notice one of his broad hands creeping towards the edge of your panties, where your thigh and pussy met, where you were most sensitive and the second his fingertip stroked the hem and skin, you were bucking your hips.
“I’ll call you, whatever I’d like to call you”, he seductively declares before his mouth opens, copying yours as you release a desperate gasp as his fingers dipped beneath your panties so that he could feel just how wet you were. “This all for me, Sweetheart?”, he emphasises the pet name as he lifts an eyebrow.
“Eds…Eddie, please”, you beg as he expertly takes his time to move up and down your folds, spreading your juices between your hole and up to your clit.
Your boyfriend gives you a condescending head tilt as his eyes seemed to darken to near pitch black as you keen into his hand, hips jerking to try and feel more. His face drops even lower so you can feel his warm breath teasing your cheek as he asks, “Please, what?”.
“Want to feel more of you, please fuck me, need to feel you there”. You were completely ignoring just how desperate you sounded at that moment, both Steve and Eddie always had to do the absolute bare minimum and you’d be melting in their palm and become a mess. With both of your hands with nothing to grip onto, you reached for his shoulders, feeling the muscles straining beneath as you hopelessly tried to pull him even closer but he was using his strength to remain in place and be in control.
Even with his fingers teasing your pussy, he still wanted to clarify just what you could handle as he voiced his concern, “Do you think you can handle me after yesterday? We did go pretty hard on you last night”. His hard exterior was chipping away as he contemplated whether to even continue this little lunchtime fuck.
He was waiting for your response and you’d already made up your mind; reaching between your bodies, you grasped his hand that was teasing the outside of your cunt and whilst moving that and your hips at the same time, you were able to coax his middle finger into your hole. Your back arched instantly, eyes closing and moaning deep within your chest at finally feeling some relief at being touched where you were needing.
“Fuck!”, Eddie curses under his breath, taking your actions as an answer enough as he began to regain composure and control by pushing your underwear further to the side, giving him better access to add another finger. In and out, he gently stroked your walls, finally leaning back down to kiss you feverishly once more, his tongue entering your mouth and dancing with your own.
Your fingers returned to gripping at his hair as your hips moved in sync with his coaxing fingers. The pleasure was blooming and tightening throughout your core as he used his guitar-playing, skilful fingers to touch all of the right spots, including his thumb circling your throbbing clit.
You were becoming overwhelmed, not just by his fingers but by also trying to kiss him and beg at the same time, your brain was confused about where to put your energy and in the end as your legs began to tremble and your mewls increased in pitch, all you could do was tip your head back and moan.
Eddie watched your every move with his own arousal going on the back burner as he made sure to spend the time looking after you, especially as you were so good for him last night. “Good girl, you’re taking my fingers so well, don’t hold back Angel”, he praised from above.
You couldn’t contain yourself even if you tried as your whole body trembled as your orgasm pulsed through your cunt, your fingers ached with how hard they were holding onto him, your thighs burning with the attempt to keep them wrapped around him. Eddie’s tried to swallow your moans up as he rushed to kiss you, lips lazily moving across one another before resting his forehead against yours as he slowly removed his fingers.
Greedily he brought them up to his lips, releasing his groans and eyes rolling back as he licked his fingers clean, “always taste so good. Now let’s get these off of you”. His hands moved to either side of your underwear and gently eased them down your legs and dropping them just behind him.
You watched his every move just as intently as he’d been watching yours as you tried to catch your breath, the van already feeling humid so a light dusting of sweat stuck to your skin. Eddie didn’t seem phased by the rising temperatures as he swiftly unbuckled his belt, pushing his jeans and boxers down only to mid-thigh, not wanting to waste time by fully removing clothes, only the essentials as he once again moved to hover over you.
“Let me see it”, he asked gently, dropping lower so that his chest brushed yours and all you could do was look into his handsome face. You knew instantly what he was referring to as you reached into your dress, tugging on the lengthy silver necklace and removing it from between your breasts where it naturally stayed, close to your heart. Eddie smiled softly, kissing your lips and then kissing the items attached to the necklace: two rings. One was the thick ring that he used to wear that had a black stone in the centre, and the other was a slim golden band from Steve, a present that had been given to him by his grandpa and now to you. It was nothing marital or even a promise ring for the reasoning that they gave it to you, just one day you were trying on Eddie’s rings and he offhandedly mentioned that you could keep it and Steve, never to be outdone removed the ring on his thumb and gave it to you. However, both rings were too large for your fingers so therefore you kept them on your necklace and now Eddie had the habit of holding onto them tightly whenever Steve wasn’t there to join your fun.
You couldn’t see his cock as he got comfortable above you, but you suddenly felt it as his tip stroked over your clit as he rocked his hips against yours. A desperate moan echoed around the van and Eddie had to quickly put his hand over your mouth as you became too loud. “Need to be quiet for me, yeah? This van isn’t soundproof, Angel”.
His lips were by your ear crowded into you, nice and close, making you feel small and trapped which is exactly how you liked it when feeling this needy and submissive. Your trembling fingers gripped onto the back of his shirt as he once again thrust forward, but this time finding its home as he began to slip into your hole. You tried to arch your back with the pleasure sparking across your body with the position you were simply held down.
“Fuck!”, Eddie cursed as his own eyes closed in ecstasy, savouring your warmth and tightness as he delved deeper into your hole. “Always so good for me, aren’t you Sweetheart? Always take my cock so well”, he praised again, followed by more curses as you squeezed around him to show how much you enjoyed his dirty talk.
Luckily Eddie wasn’t in a slow, teasing mood anymore as he began to fuck you fast and deeply, the van even began to rock from the momentum of your bodies. Anyone else who saw in the car park would evidently know what was going on which made it counterintuitive for him to cover your mouth but neither of you seemed to actually care in that moment.
Needing to feel more of him, your hands lowered to the edge of his shirt, and as it was already creased, he didn’t mind as you pushed it up and over his hips so you could touch his bare skin. The soft, unmarked areas of him were warm, just like the rest of him. However, your fingers found the deep, angry scars from the bite marks that he suffered during the attack on Hawkins a year and a half ago, which was conveniently how you met him and Steve as you were working the night they both turned up to receive treatment, Eddie more so then Steve. However now, both men had lasting scars from whatever creature had attacked them and the scars, they were like nothing you’d ever seen before. Visually they were like anything trying to heal, the redness fading with each month but when touching them, the scars were ice cold, as in, freezing cold, like they weren’t attached to his body. Steve always brushed it off as probably from a rabid animal, as they never told you what had bitten them but it was still unnerving to feel such contrasting temperatures on his midsection.
Eddie’s moans deep into your ear snap you out of your contemplative thoughts as he nuzzled into your neck, still holding the rings on your necklace and the other hand over your mouth. The sweat was causing his fringe to stick to his forehead but he didn’t care, his cock still throbbing and fucking into your cunt.
You wish you could beg, unsure of what exactly but you could feel yourself drifting closer to that peak once more. However, you didn’t need to verbalise this anyway as Eddie could already tell how close you were by how you were fluttering around his cock and how your fingers were gripping his back tighter. Eddie Munson seemed to know just about everything about you, there was no need to use words with him anymore.
“Sweetheart, you feel so fucking good, you wanna cum? Then cum for me, that’s a good girl, just like that”. You’re shaking once more with the intensity of the orgasm and it’s enough to have Eddie following you through with his own. Hips stuttered with its thrusts as he came deep into your pussy, filling you up with thick streams.
Eddie pants for a moment whilst trying to catch his breath before he seems to remember that he’s still covering your mouth and quickly slips his hand off but then replaces it with a searing kiss, which then moved along your cheek and tickles your jaw. You let out a delicate giggle which causes his softening cock to slip out as he groans deeply and collapses next to you on the mattress.
After a couple of seconds, he decided he couldn’t cope with the temperature anymore. Tucking his cock back into his boxers and buckling his jeans once more, he then crawled over to the back of the van, opening it up and allowing the cool whisps of wind to shiver along his skin. Luckily he had parked the van in such a way that the back of it faced a thickly wooded area so no one could see in to witness your half-dressed, thoroughly fucked state.
Eddie sat at the door, breathing in the fresh hair for a moment, fingers itching to reach into his back pocket for a smoke but he refrains as he knows your distaste for it. Instead, he sits back and admires you from where you lay, legs still spread and pussy dripping with his cum. “So pretty, such a shame that I have to ruin it”, he comments as he begins to awkwardly climb back through the van and reach over the bench behind you.
Even though you couldn’t necessarily see him, you knew he was searching for his hidden box of tissues that you had insisted be kept in the cars for impromptu moments like this. Returning to your side, you let him carefully clear you up and surprisingly his touches were soft enough that you weren’t wincing at the contact on your sensitive centre. After, he also helped you back into your underwear which was another shock as he usually liked to keep it in his pocket and tucked your necklace back into your dress.
You continue to lie there, feeling fuzzing and euphoric and he grins down at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “You should bring me lunch more often”.
Giggling at his comment, your hand reached across the mattress to hold his hand, “I agree, I love you”, you say in a whisper.
“I love you, too”, Eddie links your fingers together once more with one hand and idly checks the time on his wristwatch with the other. “Shit!”, he swears as his eyes widen checking the time. “You need to get going if you’re going to make it in time for Stevie boy’s lunch”.
Even though in the back of your mind, you were still aware of today's plans, it continued to feel like a momentous task to be snapped out of the fun buzz of the after-sex glow as you two began swearing and sitting up, ignoring the slight gush that seeped out of your pussy from the cum that was deeper inside of you as you tried to shuffle close to the sliding door. However, Eddie didn’t immediately open it as he took a second to assess your face.
“Are you going to be ok to drive? And we… we didn’t get time to cuddle or anything and I know after last night you might be feeling a little more needy and I-”, you lifted your fingers and pressed them to his lips to stop his stumbling words.
You appreciated his concern and even though you did feel slightly more floaty than you’d like, you didn’t want him to have to worry. So you plastered a fake smile on as you reached out to grab the two sandwiches, holding out Eddie’s for him to take as you explained, “I’ll be ok Eds, we’ll just have a quiet night tonight or something as we said. I’m sure I’ll manage. Now please can you help me out”.
Eddie took the sandwiches and jumped out of the van, holding out his arms for you to grasp and unsteadily stepped back onto the pavement. Your knees were trembling from the fucking so you had to cling to Eddie more than you would have liked to as he walked you back tur own car whilst stuffing his face quickly with his lunch. There, he held open the door and helped you get in, closing the door behind you and waiting for you to roll the windows down so he could lean into the open space.
Strapping your seatbelt across your body, you then held onto the steering wheel tightly, trying to steady your pounding heart as the tremble that had been in your knees now seemed to move throughout your body.
“Remember your promise to eat with Steve”, Eddie mentioned as he leaned in to kiss your temple and then your cheek. Nodding your head, you continued to smile up at him as you turned the ignition on. “Don’t have too much fun without me”, he jokes, finally leaning away from the car and giving you some room.
“I wouldn’t dream of it”, you laughed, waving out of the window as you drove off towards Family Video.
Since the attack on Hawkins, Steve had been promoted to manager of Family Videos with Robin as assistant manager, typically running the place by themselves. As you approached closer, you briefly checked into the rearview mirror, checking that you piously look as if you’d just been fucked, even though you could still feel the sticky feeling between your legs.
Parking directly outside of Family Videos, you tried to see through the glass to determine if it was busy but you couldn’t see a single customer and Steve was looking bored out of his mind behind the desk, his head resting heavily on his fist. Taking one last steadying breath and trying to regain composure, you grabbed the remaining two sandwiches and exited your car, eng into the video store.
With only one foot in the door, you were greeted by a shout of enthusiasm from your boyfriend. “Baby! Thank god! Robin, I’m going for lunch, don’t destroy the place!” You watched as Steve hopped over the desk, being careful not to knock the displays over. It was obvious that he had been desperately waiting for you to arrive so that he had an excuse to leave the madhouse.
“Wait, is my bestie here?”, Robin shouted from behind a rack of videos but Steve didn’t give you time to say hey as he grasped your hand and tugged out of the door you’d only just entered through.
“Hey Robin!” you shouted over your shoulder before being whisked away by Steve. You had to jog slightly to keep up with his long legs as he seemed to be taking you somewhere preplanned. “Where are we going?” you asked with a giggle as Steve seemed to snap out of his determined march and slowed his pace with an apologetic glance.
“I’ve got a little surprise for you”, he admitted, leaning down to kiss your temple as you squeezed his hand, hugging his arm to your front as he took you around the back of the store, through a small gap in the trees and into a little green area.
Your steps paused with shock as you finally saw his surprise. “Steve… is that?” your words trailed off as your eyes widen.
“It’s not much, just thought we could have a little picnic, it’s not often we get to have lunch together”. You had to bite your lip to keep the tears from welling in your eyes, already feeling a little sensitive emotionally, it didn’t take much of a soft move from Steve to have your emotions brimming. “Baby, what’s wrong? If you don’t like it, we can do something else”, Steve looked worriedly down at you as you quickly shook your head, smiling genuinely up at him.
“I love it! You didn’t have to do all of this for me”. The closer the two of you approached, the faster your heart pounded in your chest. It truly wasn’t anything exaggerated, especially as this seemed to have been a spontaneous surprise but he’d found a small checkered blanket, one that you recognised from Eddie’s van that he must have stolen this morning, there was a medley of coke cola cans and chocolate bars that you also recognised but this time from the vending machine from the arcade that was next to the video store and lastly was a wireless radio that was playing the latest Madonna song. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
Steve blushed at your gushing compliments, accepting a kiss on the cheek before helping you to sit in the centre of the blanket. “How was Eddie?”, he asked casually as he sat beside you, his hair bouncing and moving in the wind, despite the copious amounts of hairspray that he’d hastily put in this morning in his rush to get ready.
You were glad to already be hiding your face behind the can of pop as you tried to hide your embarrassed expression. “Yeah, it was good!”, you tried to sound as casual as possible, not sure why you weren’t admitting to the fucking but you didn’t want to burst the little date bubble by detailing how Eddie had been pounding you in the back of his van not that long ago. “Missed you though”, you added for good measure, placing the can down and beginning to crawl over to Steve as the overwhelming need to be touched returned, just wanting to be close to him, his hands on you, even if was just to hold your own.
“Oh yeah? What did you miss about me?” he teasingly asked as he extended his legs, hands already reaching for you as you straddled his lap. Your fingers played with the softer hair at the nape of his neck, leaning close to lay butterfly kisses along his cheek whilst his hands settled over your hips, holding you as close as possible.
“I’ve missed everything; your lemon shampoo, your perfectly shaped jeans…your sass”, his hands tightened on your waist as you spoke, a smile spreading on both of your faces at you poking fun at him. But then your tone lowered as you hovered over his lips, “I’ve missed you looking at me, your hands touching my skin… among other parts”, you ground your hips down for emphasis, once again ignoring the ache in your muscles and recently used pussy.
Steve groaned as his hands moved lower and beneath your dress to gently stroke over and tickle the backs of your thighs. “Careful Princess, don’t you think we had enough fun last night, we don’t want to take things too far”. Even though he was enjoying your burst of need with the tightening of his jeans, you could see and hear the hint of concern. 
“We had lots of fun last night but it just makes me crave you more”.
Maybe you should have listened to the little voice at the back of your conscious telling you to relax and rest but like any time you are with Steve and Eddie, you were consumed with lust and desire.
Your lips moved against Steve’s, softly at first, like you were both holding back from taking the plunge but as you once again rubbed your pantie-covered core against his tented cock, the reserved nature that Steve was holding onto snapped.
His moaned, deep in his throat and vibrated up his chest as he carefully led you down on the blanket, his hand cradling the back of your head as he began his exploration with his mouth, over your cheeks and to your ear, nibbling your lobe with his teeth, causing your back to arch for more stimulation.
“So beautiful”, he muttered against the shell of your ear as his hand skimmed over your chest and squeezed your breast through the material of your dress and bra. It was your turn to moan as your fingers danced over his shoulders, gripping the edges of his emerald family videos vest, unsure whether to continue taking it off as you were both relatively close to the public.
“Will.. will anyone find us here?”, the question lay thick in the air, the deciding factor as to just how far this lunchtime play could continue.
Leaning his weight on his arm next to your head, he contemplated for a moment, his handsome features twisting as he determined how safe it was from people. “How about this, clothes on and we have to keep our voices down, how does that sound?”
Instantly there were flashbacks to not that long ago with Eddie in similar circumstances and going against your better judgment, you sealed the deal with a searing kiss. Steve had his hands back on you a second later, still keeping your clothes on as he continued to squeeze your breasts and you knew he was desperate to get them out, he always had an obsession with your tits, sucking and playing with them whenever he had the opportunity.
The two of you made out for a while until breathless and your lips were swollen from the friction. He always tasted just as good as Eddie, whereas he was cola and cigarettes, Steve today tasted like chocolate from an earlier bar that he must have eaten whilst using the vending machine. His taste, his touch, his smells, everything drew you to him, almost the opposite of Eddie and yet they were so similar in others.
Needing to feel more of him, you shift your lower half down so that your hips were rolling against each other. Steve could sense your urgency to be touched as he promised against your throat, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll look after you”.
His hands gathered yours, linking both of your hands in one of his, lifting them over your head and then holding them there so you were pinned beneath him. With his spare hand, he began to undo his belt and zip, easing his throbbing cock from out of its restraints and then to your clothed centre, pulling your ruined underwear to the side.
His precum-covered tip brushed against your hole and Steve cursed, leaning up to look down at your aroused expression. “Fuck, you’re so wet Princess, really are needy aren’t you?”
Once again that was a perfect opportunity to tell him that mixed in with your juices was Eddie’s cum but all words disappeared from your thoughts as he began to fuck into your hole. Slowly as he could, he made sure to watch your reaction to assure that you were feeling comfortable which you were as you had to bite your lip to keep your moans to a reasonable volume. 
“You look so good like this, all desperate and ready for my cock, Baby”, Steve observed, his brown eyes wide and trying to take in every detail. You were trying to do the same but the euphoric, floating sensation had only increased, almost like you were drunk and Steve was the only thing anchoring you to the moment.
Unlike Eddie, Steve was slow with his fucking, rocking your bodies together, tension building and tightening in your core as you could feel the ridges and veins along the shaft of his cock. It felt almost naughty to be fucking outside, where anyone could stumble upon you both and it was exhausting having to keep your voice to a quiet volume. You were tempted to ask him to cover your mouth just like Eddie had but you were distracted by his lips casually moving against yours every so often.
You weren’t even able to moan his name out, even though you toted too, in fear that you would end up screaming out in ecstasy so you held onto the hand only both of yours down and moved with his hips.
“That’s it, one more for me, you’re doing so well, feel so good, Baby”, Steve encouraged and praised after you orgasm and quivered about him. You were already oversensitive due to the last 24 hours of fucking so as he continued to fucking you through the pleasure, one orgasm turned into two. You had to bite his shoulder to keep the moans and whimpers at bay and seeing you unwind so much beneath him, Steve’s eyes finally closed as his hips stilled.
He pumped his cum into you, breathing heavily into your ear as he kissed you sweetly across your face. Steve remained close over you, noticing how much longer it took for your pussy to stop pulsing around him, as well as the tension throughout your body taking longer than normal to relax until you were melting into the blanket once more. Steve had planned to have an extended lunch break with you, so he could stay wrapped around you when you needed him most but not everything always goes to plan.
“Steve?!” Robin shouted in the distance which had both of you tensing and looking in the general direction of the voice. “I’m sorry for interrupting your… canoodling time but you said to come and get you if the delivery guy turns up and well... The delivery guy is here!”
“Shit! Shit shit shit!” Steve whispered to himself as he made sure to carefully pull out of you and then began tucking himself back in. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been waiting for this delivery all week and they were supposed to be here all morning and- shit!” Steve angrily ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the style but it still looked effortlessly good like usual.
In your blur of feeling exhausted and foggy, his panic seeped through and seemed to clear some of the blur that was in your consciousness. “It’s ok Steve, honestly don’t panic, it’s fine”, you try and say without sounding too muffled as your tongue suddenly felt too big for your mouth. Wiggling the feeling back to your fingers, you quickly moved your underwear back to normal, ignoring the significant gush that poured out of your pussy as you sat up, your underwear was thoroughly ruined now.
“It’s not fine, I don’t want to leave you like this, especially after last night-”, Steve’s words were cut off as you leaned over and placed your fingers over his lips.
“It’s fine Steve, really it is. I’ll just see you when you’re home, do you want me to help you clean up the picnic?”
Steve smiled against your fingers, kissing them before tugging them away, “No don’t worry about this, I’ll come back and clean this later. Are you sure you’ll be alright? I mean, you’ve still got to drive back home. You could always come and sit behind the desk with me. But we don’t have a chair or anything but I could make it work”. Fondness warmed through your body as you shook your head.
“Thanks for the offer but I’ll be ok, think it’ll probably be better if I go home and shower…again”. Steve nodded and cupped your cheek, kissing you softly before standing and righting his clothes before holding out his hands for you to take.
You did with a toothy smile, hoping the happiness reached your eyes as he carefully helped you stand which took a good 30 seconds for your legs to stop trembling. “All good”, you confirmed when you could take a step without the fear of falling. Steve then reached down and picked up the forgotten-about sandwiches, holding yours out to take. “Thanks, I’ll have these when I’m home and showered”.
Steve smiled before saying, “Please make sure you eat these and maybe before showering just so you have some energy”. You nodded your head at his suggestion, taking his hand once more and began walking with him back towards Family Videos.
Outside the building there was a large van, unloading boxes of what looked like the latest video releases that Steve needed to sign for.
You wouldn’t admit it but with every step that you took towards your car, you felt uncomfortable due to the wetness between your legs and you were worried for a moment that it would leak through and drip down your thighs but thankfully with Steve’s fast pace the two of you were by your car.
You released a relieved sigh once back sitting down, the exhaustion returning once more as Steve leaned through your open window, just like Eddie had as he helped you with your seatbelt. “Are you sure you’ll be ok to drive?”
“I’ll be fine Steve, I hope the delivery goes ok”, you say before puckering your lips for him to kiss.
He did just that with a low chuckle before tapping the roof of your car, “Love you, please get home safely!”
“Love you too!”, you shouted, waving out of the window as you reversed out of the parking spot and drove in the direction of home. With each mile that passed, you could feel yourself becoming more dazed and floaty, not even needing the comfort of the radio as you were mostly on autopilot with your directions.
Finally, as you parked up in front of your trailer, it all seemed to hit you as you just stared at your home. Yesterday's activities and today’s had thoroughly exhausted you, struggling now to even keep your eyes open, body trembling with the effects of all the adrenaline that had been pumping through your body. You didn’t want to move, didn’t have the energy to move as you leaned your forehead against the cool window that you’d just rolled up. Closing your eyes, a deep sleep settled throughout your body.
The sun was beginning to set over the place you called home when the plum-coloured BMW drove down the path to his home, whistling the tune blaring through the radio as he took note of the fact that Eddie wasn’t home yet. Steve had a skip in his step as he climbed out of his car, shrugging off his uniform vest and pushing on the porch door, expecting it to open as you were home but it didn’t budge. Frowning he pulled out his keys from his pocket, the jingle of them the only noise around the area as he opened up the door.
“Baby? Why’d you lock the door?”, he shouted into the trailer, about to kick off his shoes when he noticed just how silent the place was, there weren’t even any side lamps on like there usually were when you were home alone. “Princess?”, he called again, quickly searching through the rooms, confused here you were because he was next to your car, maybe you’d gone to visit Wayne he finally decided.
Stepping back out of the trailer with the intent of walking to Eddie’s uncle's trailer, it suddenly felt like ice had been poured over his entire body as he finally found you, eyes closed and leaning against the window of your car. “Babe?!” Steve shouted loud enough that the birds resting on the branches of the surrounding trees flew away.
Opening the door, he quickly caught you before you toppled out of the car, dropping to his knees he cupped your face as you began to slowly wake up. “What’s wrong? Are you ok? Talk to me, please!”
“Hmm?” you mumble, eyebrows furrowing as you stretched and opened your eyes, completely disorientated and feeling even more exhausted than before. “Steve? I’m ok, just tired”. You nuzzled into his warm hands, closing your eyes again trying to chase that link back to falling asleep.
Steve released a heavy sigh, realising what had happened, and as he stroked both of your cheeks with his thumbs, he leaned forward to kiss your temple in relief. “Have you been asleep all afternoon?” he asked, glancing at the seat beside you and seeing the uneaten lunch you had prepared as you nodded yes in answer to his question. “Come on, let's get you inside.”
Steve felt guilt sitting heavily in his stomach at seeing how much you were struggling to stay awake, still in your ruined underwear, hungry and needing a lot of care. “Do you need me to carry you inside or do you think you can walk?”
“I can walk, just need to hold onto you”, your response was still done with your eyes closed and leaning into his touch. You were slow and let out little whimpers as you move your legs, the muscles burning intensely but you still were determined to walk, knowing that Steve was feeling bad. 
As the two of you walked in, his arm wrapped around your waist so that he could take a lot of your weight and help you into the home. “Let’s go to the bathroom, get you in a warm bath”. As the water heated and began to fill the tub, you used the toilet, as Steve helped you to tiredly remove your clothes, not caring that he was seeing you in such a vulnerable state and you sighed in relief as your ruined, soaked underwear was removed.
“Careful now Princess”, Steve held your arms as you stepped into the bath, groaning loudly as the water eased the muscles throughout your body as you finally led down and felt some more relief. “Do you think I can leave you for a moment to go and make something for you to eat? You won’t fall asleep will you?”
Now that you were surrounded by warmth and Steve, alertness had returned to you so you gave him a loving smile as you nodded for him to go, not feeling the overwhelming need to be asleep.
When he returned, he sat next to the bath and fed you a freshly made sandwich, stroking your temple with the other hand. “I really did a number on you”, he pondered as he still was looking at you with his sad puppy dog eyes.
“Wasn’t just you”, you responded with a mouth full of bread.
“What do you mean?”
Swallowing the food, you decided to finally tell him, “It was Eddie too but I don’t regret it, both of you made me feel good”.
Steve’s shoulders dropped slightly, “You should have told me, I wouldn’t have gone so hard-”.
“You didn’t go hard Steve, I’m just tired that’s all, I wouldn’t have changed anything that’s happened”, you turned to face him fully, leaning over the edge to give him a sweet kiss that seemed to settle his nerves slightly.
This was when the porch door opened and closed, “Hello? Where is everyone?” Eddie shouted.
“In here!” Steve hollered over his shoulder, feeding you another bite of the sandwich.
“Ah there you guys are, and having fun without me it seems, I hope he’s treating you well Sweetheart”, Eddie grins at the sight before him, kicking off his shoes before entering into the bathroom. First, he cupped Steve’s jaw, tilting his head back to give him a lingering kiss, then he rested his hands on the edge of the tub, lowering his body to kiss the tip of your nose and then your mouth, even though you were midchew. “Having fun in there?”
“Yep! I’m having a very peaceful time, thank you”.
Eddie joined Steve on the floor, undoing a few of his buttons to become comfortable before noticing the tension still in Steve’s jaw. “What’s wrong with you? Did you have to rewind too many videos today?” Steve gave Eddie a deadpan expression before sighing and ruffling his hair and glancing back at you as you quietly stared between the two men. Eddie eyed the two of you with a questioning gaze, “Seriously, what's going on? Are you ok?” he shifted closer and lay a comforting hand on Steve’s tense shoulder.
It wasn’t Steve that answered but you, “Steve’s feeling a little guilty because he found me asleep in the car after we ALSO had some fun at lunch”.
Steve sighed, rubbing circles into his temple, “I didn’t know you guys had sex at lunch otherwise I wouldn’t have done it too, we needed you to rest today. You weren’t just asleep in the car, you were passed out and you hadn’t eaten, hence the sandwich”.
Eddie now turned his disappointed gaze to you, “Sweetheart, I made you promise to eat with Steve”.
Now it was your turn to look guilty and hide away from both of their looks, “I know and I did plan to but then- I don’t know, he was so warm and smelled so nice and one thing leads to another”. You were trying to get Steve to smile but neither man seemed to be falling for the flattery or joking tones so you sighed, “I’m sorry ok? It wasn’t like I had it all planned that this would happen, and I know I needed to take it easy and rest today with last night. Safe to say I’ve learned my lesson, no more fucking the day after date night”.
“Right you are”, Eddie mumbles, kissing your hand before his eyes brightened with an idea. “Tonight you are strictly doing nothing, do you understand me? Stevie here is going to cook, and we’ll pick a movie to watch and cuddle on the couch. And absolutely under no circumstances will there be any more fucking, understood?” You and Steve nodded at his rules but Eddie was now looking at Steve, “Unless you’re up for it later big boy, we’re still not off limits”.
This finally pulled a smile to the corner of Steve’s lips as he glanced at his boyfriend, leaning over to kiss his cheek before standing, muttering that he’ll go and look at what it is for him to cook.
Eddie then stood too, leaving and returning a moment later with one of his old oversized jumpers that had a graphic of an old comic, flaking on the back of it. “Let’s get you out and warm Sweetheart”.
Having been sitting down for so long, your legs were unstable once more so you clung to Eddie who didn’t care that he was getting wet, wrapping you thoroughly in a fresh towel and helping to dry your body before dressing in his jumper. After, he made sure you were comfortable back in the living room on the couch, the blanket from the bedroom thrown over your lap.
He didn’t return for a few minutes as he dressed out of his work clothes in grey joggers, an old black sabbath shirt and his hair pulled into a loose bun at the nape of his neck. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted a warm drink or a cold one so I brought both”, he declared, standing before you with a cup of coffee in one hand and a glass of water in the other.
“Thank you Eddie”, you smiled lovingly up at him, accepting the cup of coffee before huddling back against the couch, manoeuvring your body around until comfortable with Eddie half wrapped around you, your head resting on his chest.
He’d selected Star Wars, which you should have anticipated as it was usually his choice of film when it was his turn to pick a movie. Steve joined the two of you not long after, moaning under his breath at the choice of the movie as he handed the two of you a plate full of food, even though you’d just eaten, you were more than ready to eat again.
They both stuck to their word and wouldn’t even let you help them to wash up the dishes. Movie night then turned into watching the sunset out on the porch, gathered in a bundle of warm limbs and blankets as Eddie’s music played from the open window of the bedroom. You had fallen asleep before seeing the sun disappear over the edge of the trees, only briefly waking up as you were gently laid down in the centre of the bed, not bothering to open your eyes as you heard Steve and Eddie quietly talking to one another about which side they were going to sleep on. Only when both of their arms wrapped around your middle did you finally let the comfort of sleep encompass your mind, regretting nothing from the day and already looking forward to waking up with another day with your boyfriends.
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hotchreid-cm · 4 months
Text
Moment of Weakness (2) / Aaron Hotchner
(He's so pretty)
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Reader
Summary: The aftermath to the incident in Hotch's office.
Warnings: Typical Criminal minds topics (bombings), rushed and not proofread. Not really a happy ending...
A/N: I wrote a part 2 since so many wonderful people asked. Not sure if I liked it and I got too carried away, oops!
(Read Part 1 Here)
After the incident in Hotch's office you weren't sure that you could face the man again. You felt like you only made his situation worse, which was never your intention.
You had just got caught up in the moment. You had had a crush on Hotch just after your third case with the team. It had taken a toll on you and Hotch offered to drive you home.
And when he parked outside, you just sat there, taking more of his time but he didn't care. He talked to you for what felt like ages, about the case, the team, Jack and Haley...and the crush steadily turned into a quiet pining.
You kept it to yourself of course. You never told anyone, and you obviously did a great job of hiding it because no one suspected a thing. Not even Hotch, which killed you but you'd never ruin a family like that.
You heard how he spoke of Haley and Jack that night over a year ago now and if anything, you were happy that he was happy. Until his confession in his office last night.
JJ pulls you out of your thoughts, "we've got a case. Two bombings in the last 24 hours. We're leaving in 10 minutes, we'll debrief on the jet."
You take the file from her and look it over before grabbing your go bag and heading for the jet.
You were the last but one on which made you frown, "where's Hotch?"
Rossi looked over to you, "personal day. He'll meet us there when he can."
You didn't hear much after that. Your thoughts racing with all sorts of possibilities and hoping none of it was because of you. The guilt sitting in your stomach like a stone.
By the time Hotch caught up to the team, you were all gathered in the precinct talking to Garcia.
Everyone paused the conversation to fill Hotch in. The thinking was a high school student getting revenge. There was at least one victim from every explosion linked to the same school. The others just got caught in the crossfire.
"If that's the case then we need to talk to the parents and close friends of the ones who died and see if anyone had a grudge against them", Hotch says.
"I'll go back to the Denvers and talk to them since I've only just left. They had a son die in the second explosion and the brother may know something. " You jump in straight after Hotch, eager to go back to the family you were trying to help through this.
He shakes his head, "no, you stay here with Reid and try and figure out where he might strike next. Prentiss and Morgan go to the Jason's. Rossi and I will go to the Denvers while JJ handles the media coverage."
Everyone springs into action but you step forward, "you're benching me?"
Hotch turns back to you sharply, "stay here and work the profile with Reid."
"I'm the one that should talk to the Denvers, I've already built rapport" your voice rising.
"Stay here at the station with Reid. That's an order." Hotch turns away and stalks out the office with everyone else giving you sympathetic looks on their way out.
You and Reid work the case. Rossi calls not long after they left saying the Denvers were on the way to a memorial service put on for families of the second explosion but they couldn't say whether anyone held a grudge against their son.
Then Morgan calls, "okay, Jessica Lambert said that Danny Denvers is the one that gets picked on the most at school."
You perk up, "wait, Danny? As in, Tommy Denvers brother who died in the explosion?"
"Yeah, and Jessica also said that Tommy would join in on the bullying so that he could fit in."
You look to Reid in horror, "I thought he was so withdrawn because his brother had just died, not because..."
Reid voices the conclusion you just came to, "Danny Denvers is our unsub."
You pull your phone out and dial Hotch on instinct.
"What?" He answers.
And you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, "the Denvers, you said they were going to a memorial service, was Danny going with them?"
"No, they said he wasn't feeling well. Why?"
"Danny Denvers is the unsub. He got bullied at school and even by his own brother, Tommy."
You hear the car spin around as Hotch says, "we'll go back to the house. Tell Morgan and Prentiss to head to the school. Stay at the station."
And he was gone before you could protest.
After telling Morgan where to go, you stare at the board in front of you.
Reid asks, "what's wrong?"
You shrug, "something doesn't feel right. If Danny wanted to blow up the school he could have just gone this morning. Instead he stayed back."
Reid scrunches his nose, "okay, so what's your point?"
You think back to your time at the Denver house and it clicks. You call Garcia, "hello Mr and Mrs Genius, how can I help you?"
"Garcia, the Denvers said they were going to a memorial service today. Can you tell me where it is?"
You hear the typing before she answers, "I just sent the address to your phone."
"Thanks", you say as you rush to grab car keys from the desk.
"Hotch said you had to stay at the station." Reid says, phone already in hand.
"I'm the closest and I'm not going to be benched because Hotch can't get his head out of his ass."
You race to the funeral home, stepping out of the car and scanning the area for any signs of the service amongst the gravestones.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket like its been doing the whole drive here. You answer to Hotch's booming voice, "do not go in without back up or bomb squad."
You shake your head despite him not being able to see, "bomb squad won't get here in time."
You keep scanning as he replies, "I mean it. Don't approach on your own. Danny profiles like a-"
You cut him off as your eyes land on the scene you were looking for, "a suicide bomber."
You see him with a crudely made vest and a trigger in hand as he screams at his parents.
You take off towards them, phone still to your ear as you say, "Hotch. I'm sorry." Hoping he can hear everything you really want to say.
You hang up and draw your gun as you dodge the people fleeing. You call out, "Danny! Remember me? Is it okay if we talk?"
"I don't want to talk to you. I want them to listen." His wild eyes looking to his parents.
"I know they never listened to you. I know they always put Tommy first, even when he was the one bullying you." You step closer to the Denvers, trying to draw his attention away from them.
Tears stream down his face, "I never did anything wrong! Tommy was the one going to parties and staying out past curfew and he was still the favourite!"
"So you decided to teach them all a lesson?"
He looks to you as sirens wail closer and closer, "well someone had to! No one was going to save me from them so I had to do it myself!"
You finally step in front of the Denvers blocking his view, "and I think you taught the lesson well. Now everyone knows."
You see Rossi and Hotch coming towards you as you gesture the Denvers to go towards them.
Danny watches his parents go with surprising calm as you say, "just give me the trigger so you can tell everyone your story."
With eyes still on his parents he mumbles, "they'll never get it."
You hear Hotch call your name as Danny takes his finger off the trigger.
You dive for cover, landing in the 6ft hole meant for the casket. You feel your body slam into the ground, losing consciousness before help arrives.
When you come to, it's mostly a blur. The hospital checked you over and after some arguing, they agreed to let you go as long as you got checked out back home.
The jet ride back was quiet and once it landed everyone went their separate ways. Except Hotch.
"I'd like to drive you home, if I may?" He asks.
You shake your head, "nah, I'm good. I can wait to hear the riot act on Monday."
Hotch places his hand on your forearm so gently you can barely feel it, "please?"
You stare at each other for a few moments until you finally agree.
Once you're on the road Hotch says, "what you did was reckless."
He says it with a soft voice which is somehow so much worse than if he just yelled at you.
You loved his voice, you loved the comfort he exudes even when he's angry but right now you wanted to be anywhere but here.
"Hotch, please..."
But he continues, "and while it was incredibly reckless, I have to say I owe you an apology."
Your mouth pops open as you turn to look at the man behind the wheel.
He sighs, "if I didn't have my head up my ass, I wouldn't have benched you and made you feel the need to run into danger on your own."
You feel heat rise to your cheeks, "you heard that, huh?"
Hotch shrugs, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Reid had already dialled my number when you said it."
Silence descends again until he parks up outside your apartment.
"I'm also sorry for the things I've said."
You stare out the window when you reply, "when?"
Hotch parrots your question with more confusion, "when?"
"Which time? You've been a dick to me ever since that night. It took the both of us to make that mistake. And the funny thing is you're not even angry at me, you're angry at yourself and you're taking it out on me and I don't deserve that."
"You're right, you don't. You deserve so much more. I realised that I could have lost you and...I'm not sure I'm ready to look into why that's terrified me so much. And I know I don't have a right to ask this but I would like it if you waited."
You study his profile, not quite understanding what he's going through but wanting to all the same.
He looks to you and the vulnerability you see laid bare in his eyes takes your breath away, "Me and haley are going through a divorce and a part of me will always love her. Things will be messy for a while but I'd like to take you to dinner...maybe when things calm down, if you'll let me?"
You're not really sure what to say. You've wanted Aaron Hotchner to ask you out for a long time. You've wanted him for even longer. But this isn't how you imagined that would go.
You knew things would be complicated with Haley and you knew he'd always love her in some way and it didn't bother you. But the timing of it all made you feel more like a consolation prize than someone he truly wants.
You reach your palm out until it makes contact with his cheek, you thumb stroking the dark circles underneath his eyes.
"I've been in love with you for a long time, Aaron Hotchner. And all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. And those two things have been in conflict ever since."
His eyes take on a glassy tint as his hand covers your one on his face. He understands what you're saying but you say it anyway.
"I don't think I'm what you need to make that happen right now. And I don't know if I'll ever be that or if I can wait that long for you to figure it out."
You give Hotch a sad smile, dropping your hand and exiting the car. Each step further away from him, makes your chest ache. And you wonder if you'll always carry that ache wherever you go.
A/n: I guess I'm feeling angsty lately but hope you enjoyed all the same!!
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turtletaubwrites · 8 months
Text
One Shots & Requests Masterlist
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18+ ONLY. MDNI. SOME FICS CONTAIN DARK CONTENT. Currently writing for One Piece. All of these fics are NSFW and Fem!Reader unless marked otherwise. Content warnings and Ao3 links can be found on each post. This post updates frequently! Check out the main masterlist for completed and ongoing series, as well as WIP updates and announcements! One shots related to the poly fic We've All Got Needs can be read on their own, and are marked with a 💜
Ace 
The Only One I Want ~ (1657) ~ You have a delicious dream about a certain swordsman. Your boyfriend, Ace, is not pleased when you wake up. (Brief Zoro x Fem!Reader in a dream.)
My Pretty Little Thief ~ (2004) ~ Ace knows where he left his hat. But when it's not there, he hunts it down, only to discover the culprit. How can he convince the thief to return his precious hat?
Buggy 
You’d Do Anything For Me, Wouldn’t Ya, Doll? ~ (2104) ~ You are Captain Buggy’s Vicious Dagger, his blade tossing beauty that recently became his lover. You’d do anything for him, and tonight you prove it.
Crocodile
Wrong Side of the Bars ~ (3990) ~ Your promotion landed you in hell, otherwise known as Level 6 of Impel Down. All you wanted to do was work this shit job so you could move on up, but there's one prisoner that won't leave you alone. It turns out those long nights go by faster with a bit of company.
Cross Guild 
Numbers Game ~ Masterlist ~ (Oops. Turned into a series.) ~ You left your stable/boring life as an investment banker to have some adventure. Unfortunately, that sweet Warlord of the Sea didn't follow your financial advice, and now you and your clown are at the mercy of his biggest lender and his new business partner.
Katakuri
Sweet Abduction ~ (4084) ~ Part 2 ~ (2175) ~ Part 3 (End) ~ (3781) ~ Times are tough, and you're afraid you'll have to give up the family business, until you find people who cherish your work. Who knew making doughnuts would gain you the attention of an Emperor of the Sea, and her second son? Will your new life be as sweet as it seemed?
More fics below the cut 🖤
Law 
See How You Like It ~ (1927) ~ Law is back from another fiasco with the Straw Hats. You think he's cute when he's grumpy. He thinks you should have some more respect for your captain.
Bend Until You Break ~ Masterlist ~ (Oops. Turned into a series. Completed) ~ !! YANDERE!Law x Fem!Reader !! DARK CONTENT !! ~ You have struggled with mystery pains and injuries for most of your life, and had resigned yourself to suffer after every doctor told you there was nothing wrong. But when a world renowned doctor/pirate comes to town to offer aid in exchange for supplies, you decide to give hope one more chance. Maybe you'll finally find a doctor you can trust.
Misty Eyes ~ Masterlist ~ (Oops. Turned into a series. Ongoing) ~ (Includes Doflamingo x Fem!Reader in the past & flashbacks) !! DARK CONTENT !! ~ You were the weakest member of the Donquixote Family, so Doflamingo found another way you could serve him. Until your childhood crush found you, freeing you from those chains. What will Law expect in return?
Such a Softie ~ (461 ~ Drabble) (SFW) (GN!Reader) ~ Law is struggling to help you with your pain, until he has an idea. This is the coziest treatment you've ever received.
Luffy
My Favorite Kinds of Nights 💜 ~ (2375) ~ Part 2 ~ (3625) ~ You are enjoying a quiet moment away from the feast while the crew celebrates another victory. Your three partners, Robin, Sanji, and Zoro are occupied for the evening, so you take time to relax. Until you receive an unexpected request from your captain.
Multi and/or Character x Character
Same Time ~ (1123) ~ Zoro x Fem!Reader x Sanji ~ Your boyfriends are always arguing, but sometimes you're the one that wins the fight. Tonight the battle is for who gets to go first.
So What? ~ (SFW) ~ (1096) ~ Zoro x Sanji ~ An enemy catches Zoro eying Sanji in the middle of a fight. Zoro doesn't care, until they make the mistake of threatening the cook.
One Piece x Introverted!Reader (SFW) ~ Headcanons & Drabbles ~ Zoro, Sanji, and Robin
The Sounds You Made 💜 ~ (1422) ~ Sanji x Fem!Reader, Zoro x Fem!Reader ~ Sanji overhears you discussing and enjoying your casual arrangement with Zoro. He doesn't like the way Zoro talks to you, so he listens in to make sure you're okay.
Lucky Boy 💜 ~ (2561) ~ Sanji x Robin ~ Robin and Sanji have been dating you for a while, but tonight is their first date together. How will the cook and the archaeologist get along?
In Control ~ 💜 (2599) ~ Zoro x Robin ~ Robin and Zoro have been dating you for a while, but tonight is their first date together. How will the swordsman and the archaeologist get along?
You Never Shut Up, Do You? 💜 ~ (1323) ~ Zoro x Nami ~ Nami has watched you enjoy your poly relationships with Zoro and Sanji for a while. She's got an itch that needs scratching, and she decides to see if Zoro can help her out.
I Saw You First 💜 ~ (1451) ~ Part 2 ~ (1309) ~ Zoro x Fem!Reader, Sanji x Fem!Reader ~ You have a casual arrangement with Zoro, but he isn't happy that you'll be seeing Sanji tonight. He tries to get his mind off of things, but overhears you enjoying your time with the cook. Can he control his anger?
Touching What's Yours 💜 ~ (815) ~ Part 2 ~ (2344) ~ Part 3 ~ (6048) ~ Zoro x Sanji, Zoro x Fem!Reader x Sanji ~ You have a casual arrangement with Zoro, but he isn't happy that you had your first night with Sanji tonight. Zoro overheard some of your time together, and his rage kept him from sleeping. Instead, Zoro has gone to confront the cook for taking what's his.
Sanji 
Sleeping Beauty 💜 ~ (2646) ~ Your boyfriend has yet another kink he'd like to explore with you. You tell Sanji that you trust him to take care of you, even while you're sleeping.
Filthy Little Angel 💜 ~ (1323) ~ Sanji requests to try a new way to worship your body. You know your boyfriend will take good care of you.
Parted Lips (SFW) ~ (1734) ~ Sanji has made another meal just for you, but it's still too painful to eat. You open up to Sanji about your jaw pain, and he offers to help you work through it.
Sanji's Super Birthday Present 💜 ~ (988) ~ Part 2 (End) ~ (1105) ~ You work up the nerve to ask Franky for help with a gift for Sanji. You hope your birthday boy will like his new toy.
Gag Order ~ (3268) ~ You catch your boyfriend flirting with another woman, and you can't stop your worries. Until you decide to use your talents as a hypnotist to make sure you're the only one Sanji flirts with. He told you he only wants to be with you, so what's the harm in helping him keep that promise?
Shanks
A Good Catch ~ (4367) ~ Part 2 ~ (5030) ~ Part 3 ~ (4613) ~ Part 4 (End) ~ (4275) ~ You are an unlucky fisherwoman having a bad day, until a red haired pirate captain offers to help you out. You're pretty sure he only makes it worse.
Zeff
My Lovely Patron ~ (1300) ~ Part 2 ~ (1922) ~ You are a journalist following a story about fishmen attacking a floating restaurant. You try to ply the head chef with wine for some details, but end up getting something else instead.
Zoro
Just a Dream ~ (1288) ~ You have a delicious dream about your captain's brother. Your boyfriend, the first mate, is not pleased when you wake up. (Brief Ace x Fem!Reader in a dream)
Hogging the Blankets 💜 ~ (1210) ~ Zoro hogged the blankets, so you try to wake him. He tells you what you need to do now that you've woken him up.
Fighting Dirty 💜 ~ (2341) ~ You can’t help it when you get distracted by Zoro during training sessions, so he brings the sparring mats to the bedroom to teach you a lesson.
Mama Bear ~ (2606) ~ (Modern AU) ~ You're a gogo dancer, and you bring Zoro to a rave on your night off, wanting to show your boyfriend what that part of your life is like. Zoro can't help but notice how much you like to take care of people, and he has some thoughts on the matter.
Zoro x GN!Swordsman!Reader (with a powerful/unique sword) (SFW) ~ Headcanons & Drabble
A Swordsman's Shame ~ (SFW) (GN!Reader) ~ (1530) ~ You and Zoro have the same dream, and it's built a passion between you. But something has been holding you back, keeping you from opening yourself up to your crewmate, your rival, your fellow swordsman.
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| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 | ko-fi |
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notjustjavierpena · 11 months
Note
Oops, I accidentally sent the request before actually typing it, lol
Here we go again:
The family is away for summer vacation and reader bumps into an old high school boyfriend of hers at the beach while Javi is playing with the kids (making an adorable mess with sand castles), and he sees it at some distance and get super jealous about it, but only get to talk to her about it after dinner when the kids are asleep in their hotel room. Idk, something about that with obviously make up sex for reader to show him how much she’s all his and etc
Random thoughts, I know, but I’m sure you’ll be able to work magic with this
Sand
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: Hi hi hi, and so sorry for the wait. I hope this fulfils your heart’s desires, my friend. Thank you for following my work ❤️
Summary: You bump into your high school sweetheart on holiday and Javier is not a fan.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)
Tags: +18 smut, jealousy, javi is whipped for reader, dirty talk, piv sex, rough sex, bit of roleplay, creampie, use of papi, possessiveness, aren’t they just the cutest?
Word count: 3.1k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51262198
Sand
Children’s laughter travels through the air to meet your ears along with the sound of a soft summer breeze, making you put down the book that you’ve been holding in your hands. It’s impossibly sunny hence why you’ve decided to hold up the book, shielding its pages from the rays, and the skin of your back glistens with sweat. There are seagulls in the air, busy noises from families around you, and the therapeutic push and pull of the waves.
Beside you, you have a glass of strawberry lemonade and in front of you, you have a view of your husband enthusiastically digging moats around the various sandcastles that have been scattered across your chosen spot on the beach. You feel refreshed and relaxed; just how you’re supposed to feel on your vacation during the hottest days of summer. 
It had been Javier’s idea to go away for a week to your hometown. You are thankful for his suggestion because you would never have voiced your wish for a break out loud yet he had sensed it despite your silence. 
You’ve visited your parents, yes, but the majority of days have been spent on the beach where you’ve gotten some quality time with yourself. Javier has managed to tire out both of your kids with endless activities, and the evenings have been filled with long, slow kisses on the hotel room balcony. You have hoped for more but a shared hotel room means that you will have to keep everything PG-13.
“Look, Mommy!” 
Your thoughts are interrupted by Inés’ excited shout. She has placed seashells on the biggest of the sandcastles’ walls, making them imitate grand windows. 
“They’re beautiful, baby,” you praise adoringly. 
Lucas is by the shore with a bucket, filling it with water for the moats. He beams at you when he returns, and you smile right back at your beautiful boy. 
“Remind Papá to take a picture of you when you’re finished,” you say loudly for Javier to hear as well. He looks back at you, grinning with genuine joy and happiness but you’re too busy staring at his happy trail just above the hem of his bathing shorts. He notices.
“What’re you looking at?” He winks.
“Nothing,” you say back and shoo him, holding up your book for show, “Go keep an eye on your offspring, Dad. I’m very busy.”
The day continues. You manage to go through a few more chapters, occasionally watching Javier over the top of your book as he is enjoying himself. 
And then it is late afternoon but the sun is nowhere near descending yet. You are interrupted in your reading by a shadow above you, and you don’t manage to catch yourself as you automatically tell Javier off, “Honey. You’re standing right in front of the great big reading lamp in the sky.”
The shadow laughs and then you realize it isn’t your husband. You look up to stare at a familiar face anyhow, and your face grows hot. With quick motions, you put your book down and push yourself to stand.
“Jonathan!” You exclaim in what you hope is a calm and collected voice. You know it is a possibility, being in your hometown, that you run into your high school ex-boyfriend but it still catches you off guard. 
“You mean ‘honey’ right?” Jonathan jokes. You laugh politely and awkwardly, and despite the ring on his finger, Jonathan doesn’t seem to back down. He hugs you, splaying his large palm on your back - right under where your bikini top sits. 
Afterward, he gives you a once over with his eyes, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot Javier glancing in your direction. 
“God, you look well,” Jonathan continues, “Still in Laredo?”
“Still in Laredo,” you confirm, curling your toes into the warm sand. Jonathan looks almost exactly the same; blond, wide-eyed, and pale. He still sports a t-shirt with a print of a ‘70s band logo on the front that you remember him buying when it was cool. 
You realize that you haven’t done anything to make conversation, quickly adding, “And you? You haven’t aged a day.”
“Never escaped, teachin’ at our old school,” he shrugs. He eyes Inés and Lucas but only briefly, turning back to you when he realizes that you are here with a man too. Javier is throwing daggers his way but for once, he has no intention of interrupting which is fair since he would have to leave his children unattended for the time it took to play macho. 
“Course you are,” you smile genuinely. It suits him perfectly to be one of the people who keep the cycle of the quiet town alive, even if it is by simply replacing your old teachers, “And the ring? I couldn’t help but notice that we’re both married.”
Jonathan tells you briefly about his wife and kids. You don’t actually care, but he lights up as he speaks about his two daughters and that’s the most important thing in this whole conversation. He has a dreamy look in his eyes as he finishes, “And to think we thought it would be us.”
By instinct, you reach out to touch his arm and then you giggle softly because the image of the two of you getting old together is absurd. You have everything you need in Javier Peña… Who is fuming without you noticing.
You hug Jonathan goodbye and the rest of the afternoon is suspiciously quiet. 
*
Inés and Lucas fall asleep quickly, exhausted from the amount of fresh air they’ve breathed in today. Outside the sky is turning rose-colored from the evening catching up on you; the sunset will be long and beautiful. But you don’t want beauty with how much tension is between the two of you. 
You are brushing your teeth side-by-side in the hotel bathroom. It’s been a tight-lipped dinner. You honestly just want to go to sleep so you can start over tomorrow. 
Javier finishes brushing his teeth first. He waits for you, looking like someone who is contemplating whether to say something or not.
You finish brushing your own teeth just as he finally makes a decision, off-handedly throwing a remark at you.
“You sure were friendly with Jonathan earlier,” he says simply.
You let out a long sigh, stepping away from the sink after putting away your toothbrush, “Jesus, Javi, I knew this would happen.”
“What?” He leans against the sink.
“You don’t have to act like a fucking… I don’t know. It is every damn time a guy even looks at me - and it’s just not very attractive,” you are exhausted. 
“Excuse me for liking you to myself,” he looks away, “I like having you alone.”
You decide on something at that moment. 
“You already have me. Don’t you know?” You ask in a voice close to a purr. Javier raises a brow in annoyance, but you don’t give in to a fight so easily. Instead, you go to close and lock the bathroom door.
“Know what?” He asks impatiently.
“That you’re the only one?” You watch him standing against the sink counter. He doesn’t look as annoyed after those words but he still isn’t overly impressed with your actions earlier. There’s no way that he doesn’t know what clicking the lock means though. If only he knew the power you have over him, the power that you’re soon to make a display of. 
You cross the room to stand in front of him. You tilt your chin upwards to look up at his face but his eyes stray from yours the second you catch them. He can get so pissy sometimes, a part of the game, but you’ll take the challenge especially when you haven’t had his cock inside of you for a week. At this point, your core aches for him. 
Gently, you put two fingers under his chin and pull it down towards his chest so he is forced to look at you. Your smile is sweet as honey, “Thoughts of you keep me up all night sometimes. Hot and bothered, legs barely knowing what to do.”
There’s a pause where you can only hear his breathing matching yours. His pupils have blown wider, signaling desire for you. 
“What do you think of?” He finally gives in. 
“I think about all the ways you turn me on,” you tap his chin but then let your hand go down. It skims down his bare chest and over each ripple of muscle that quivers with each touch. 
“Yeah?” He murmurs. His eyes flick down between the two of you for less than a second when your hand hovers over his happy trail. The second you catch him doing it, your own eyes follow suit. It’s too hot to wear his usual pajama bottoms, so it’s so easy to spot that he is hard already, showing off the outline of his dick in his gray briefs. There’s a stain of precome. 
“Yeah, baby,” you don’t even hesitate, reaching down to palm the length of him. His breath hitches in his throat the second he is touched, and your voice lowers to a whisper, “All I do is fantasize about you. The way you kiss, the way you touch me, and mmm, the way you fuck me.”
“Mhm,” he hums softly in the way men do when they don’t really know what to say during their current state of mind. You have him scatterbrained with your touch, a moan falling from his lips and replacing the hum when you snake your hand into his underwear, wrapping your fingers around his cock to stroke him lazily. 
“You like this?” You ask but don’t give him time to answer since you tighten your fist around his girth. He forces a nod and you lean up to kiss his lips teasingly soft, “You really think I would ever touch another man like this? There’s no way. No comparison to how you look when I do it.”
“Go on and I might forgive the eyes you were sending him,” he tells you with a hint of edge in his voice. He sounds more desperate than confident, more wanting than he might want to let on. It fills you with self-satisfaction because you know that what you are saying about him goes for you too; you’ve ruined everyone else for each other. 
“I told you I was doing no such thing,” you reply. He pulses in your hand, precome sliding down over your knuckles when you make your fist a tighter fit, reminding him of what waits between your legs. You go a little faster, and Javier’s breathing speeds up. 
“Liar,” he challenges raggedly. 
“As if he could ever make me come as hard as you,” you egg him on, patiently waiting for him to lose control with you, “There’s only you, Papí.”
That seems to do something. Javier yanks your hand away, and you know the strength behind the action because he breathes the same way that he breathes when teetering on the edge of release. He has stopped himself but it’s only to enter your personal space more than you even thought possible.
He grabs at your hips almost violently, steers you backwards a few paces so he can flip the positions. Now, you are the one against the sink counter and it gnaws painfully into the small of your back. There’s an air of consideration for a moment as he checks in on you during the beginning of what can be regarded as playing with each other. You give him a dirty look, a small nod and he smirks back.
“Javi,” you mumble in fake confusion, reaching up to put your hands on his chest but you don’t get to do much because one of Javier’s hands comes up to catch one wrist after the other. It’s so easy for him to do, both because of his job and his physical superiority. 
He twists your hands behind your back and roughly shoves you down over the sink. He lowers his voice as he speaks, “You’re not gonna wake up anyone, are we clear?” 
“We’re clear,” you promise, finding his eyes in the mirror. If he touches you now, he’ll find you wetter than you have been in a long while. What is it about holidays and hotel rooms? Mixed with not having been able to touch each other since you have arrived here, it is a dangerous combination. 
“Te deseo mucho, amor,” he says softly and out of character. 
“I love you,” you reply. 
He dives back into the scenario. His other hand tugs at your cotton shorts, dragging them over the curve of your ass and down your long legs. You step out of them as soon as they lay around your feet. 
“I’m gonna let go,” he says and shakes your hands in his grip to indicate what he is talking about, “But only so you can cover your mouth for me and I can get out of these fucking underpants.”
He does as he said he would. You move to prop yourself up on your elbows, neck already having strained from the mere moments you’ve had to feel the cold porcelain against your chest.
Behind you, there’s shuffling. You cover your mouth as he enters you swiftly, jerking forward at the intrusion that has you panting damply into your palm. He fills you to the brim, stretches your cunt as only he can, and then he fucks you - hard, rough, and fast.
Your head spins, your knees bang against the cabinet’s front, and you try to strain the muscles in your legs so they don’t. He knows the ticking bomb that is your children sleeping soundly in the room next door, but he cannot help himself as he drives into you. He leans over you. 
“No one but me,” he growls lowly, “This little cunt belongs to no one else. She gets red and puffy for me, no? Filled up with only my come.”
“Sí,” you practically sing out but then quickly cover your mouth. He gets rougher with you then, each snap of his hips a reminder of how only he can make you feel like this. He is getting exactly what he wants, and he has you a moaning mess soon after. 
Your first orgasm tears through you after a rough pounding of your g-spot, sending shockwaves down your spine to burn at the base and throwing your upper body forward with such a force that you nearly lose touch with the floor, standing only on your toes as you clamp rhythmically down on Javier’s cock.
“That’s it,” he praises quietly, not relenting, “You can do one more, can’t you? Gotta remind you who makes you feel this good.” 
You nod through sobs. More, more, more.
Suddenly, he leaves you empty. The feeling has you on edge, makes you look at him over your shoulder because gaining eye contact in the mirror is somehow not good enough for the look of betrayal you want to give him. He takes a step back from you whilst panting frantically, gesturing to you by drawing a circle in the air, “Turn around.”
You straighten without thinking and flip around, so you are positioned as you were at the beginning of this. He seizes your hips, hands going down your thighs to grab at them and lift you up onto the edge of the counter. 
Your hand clasps around the back of his neck. He lifts your legs up to settle them around his waist, and then he guides himself back into you and continues fucking you with a force that has you lifting your free hand up behind you to brace yourself against the mirror. 
“Javi,” you whimper repeatedly, clutching at the curls at the base of his skull. He had wanted to cut it before summer came, but you are so glad that he did not. 
“Shh,” he soothes your growing cries and you know that he’ll make you come again soon, “Be quiet for me, baby.”
You don’t think he is quiet enough himself to demand such a thing from you. His stamina has always impressed you, but it’s the sound of his breaths that tears your own from your chest. Alongside the hungry eyes that bore into you, you don’t think that it’ll take long for this to reach its peak for both of you.
“I can’t,” you stutter a little more high-pitched than you intended.
“You have to,” he says with a hint of sternness but he cannot keep it up. Especially not, when he has to take the consequences of reaching down between your legs to thumb at your clit. 
You come so fast that you don’t even have time to warn him, and you cry. So loudly that he needs to kiss you to swallow the sound of you reaching your second, over-sensitive high. 
You throw your arms around him as he chases his own peak, whimpering at the hard thrusts he is giving you to reach his end. You hear him let out a drawn-out fuuuck as he spills inside of you. He pulses, settling deep inside you. He kisses you lazily. 
Everything goes quiet except for your shared breathing. You want to say something to finish the argument that almost never took place but a knock is heard on the locked bathroom door.
You freeze. Javier pulls out of you. The bathroom counter is a mess. 
“Mommy?” Inés’ little voice sounds anxious. You figure that it’s far from nice to find your parents’ bed empty on holiday.
“Just a second,” you say with a weak voice. 
“We’ll be right there, mí vida,” Javier says as well.
“What are you doing? Why is Mommy crying?” You hear her ask and Javier’s face twists in surprise for a moment before he starts laughing, burying his head in your neck as he holds you close. You slap his shoulder. 
“I’m not crying, baby,” you reassure. With a glare that’s anything but actually angry, you push Javier away from you to get cleaned up. 
“I have to pee,” Inés continues with a hesitant tone to her voice. 
Javier kisses you one last time, and you draw it out for a few more seconds than you have time for. It’s still romantic despite you holding a hotel towel between your legs. 
“One moment, mija,” Javier says and gets dressed in his briefs. He waits for you to dress too.
When you walk towards the door, he smacks your ass and you whip around to slap his hand away. There’s a grin on your face though, “Dog.”
“Go to bed, I’ll take her,” he just says.
.
.
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ladylokilaufeyson5 · 1 year
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I Will Always Find You
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I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU | Azriel x Fem!Illyrian!Reader 
REQUEST(S): hello! could i request and azriel fic? where reader gets badly injured and azriel saves her? thank u so much! – (anon) hi! i saw you asking for azriel requests where reader gets kidnappped? lot of angst and fluff please! 💕💕 – (anon)
SUMMARY: Five times Azriel wanted to tell Y/n he loves her, and the one time he finally did
WARNINGS: Mentions of blood and injury, unrequited love (it’s not, Az & Y/n are just stupid), swearing, mentions of alcohol and drinking alcohol, kidnapping, one brief thought of sexy times, kind of angst but not really, and a bit of fluff
WORDS: 4.6K (oops)
NOTE: I am literally in love with the 5+1 trope so I hope this works for you both 🙂 Also I did not proof read so enjoy<3
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Laughter filled the living room of the River House on the night of the Winter Solstice, and it flitted through the air, such a stark contrast to the pain and suffering they had all felt only two years prior. It sounded strange to Azriel — the joy and happiness of his friends and family. He hadn’t been sure that they were going to survive the war against Hybern, but he thanked the Mother every day that they did. He thanked the Mother that she had mercy, that she kept you alive.
Your laughter was the most contagious of the group, and Azriel couldn’t help but allow a small chuckle to leave his lips as you laughed at the gift Cassian had gotten you — a rubber practice sword, so that Cassian wouldn’t get as many bruises and scrapes while sparring with you. You smiled widely at Cassian and gave him a big hug, kissing him on the cheek in thanks. Azriel watched as you sat back down on the couch beside him, the grin still etched on your face.
“I’m thinking more drinks,” Cassian suggested, standing up and clapping his hands.
“Count me in,” Mor grinned, rising and rushing down the hall to the kitchen.
Cassian swore and chased after her, and Feyre and Rhys stood up, chasing the other two. Elain and Nesta left next, arms linked, and Amren sighed before following the group, leaving you and Azriel alone together.
Azriel cherished the moments he had alone with you. With only the two of you, it felt like all of your attention was on him, which was all he’d wanted for the past three hundred years. He wanted you, wanted every part of you. Wanted to hold you close at night and wake up with you in the morning, wanted to know what your bare skin felt like, what your lips tasted like. 
But he’d never told you that, for a varying amount of reasons. The first was you deserved better – you deserved someone better than him, someone worthy of your love. You deserved someone who could offer you the love and affection you were entitled to, someone who you would want love from. Because why would you want to be loved by Azriel? He was practically invisible – as the silent shadowsinger, people rarely paid attention to him; some barely even knew he was present.
But not you. You always seemed to know when he was around – your gaze would find him in a crowded room, and you always asked for his opinion on things. But just because you cared what he was thinking, it didn’t mean that his love was requited. 
“You’re not getting another drink?” you asked, taking a sip of your own.
Azriel simply shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll bring the whole bottle. Or maybe more.”
You laughed lightly, the sound filling Azriel with no small amount of warmth. He loved that he was the one who coerced that sound out of your lips, that he was the one who made your face brighter. He wanted to tell you that, but… how could he?
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, and you rested your head on his shoulder. Azriel’s mind screamed at him. Tell her that you love her! Tell her now, tell her now, tell her now! But it was just a friendly gesture – he was sure of it.
Maybe I could work up the courage…
But it didn’t matter, because laughter rang down the hall, and then Cassian was running through the living room with a bottle in hand, the others following close behind. The moment passed and you laughed at your friends’ antics, leaving Azriel to sigh internally. He wasn’t sure whether it was from disappointment or relief.
~ * ~
It was cold. That was the first thing Azriel registered as he looked around the nightmare. It was a stark contrast to the flames and burning of his own. The snow glistened in the moonlight, the only solace in the darkness of the freezing forest. 
The dream faded in and out, as if there was a door opening and closing between himself and the dreamscape. But he felt cold as he curled up in the snow, his wings bleeding and shredded, his wrist sprained and thigh screaming in pain. As he raised his head, he glimpsed a flash of light reflecting off of a blade. Illyrian warriors came into view, and with a jolt, Azriel realised where he was. 
Or rather, where you were. Because this nightmare… this nightmare was yours. Azriel remembered these males, remembered how he cut them down for hunting a female Illyrian for sport. He didn’t know you then — it was the first time he’d seen you. Bloody and shaking, your wings torn and broken, bone jutting out of your thigh… it was instinct that had him killing the males within seconds. Instinct that caused the roar in his head, instinct that made him need to protect you. Instinct that made him go over to you and pick you up gently, cradling you close to his body.
But in your dream, Azriel didn’t arrive. The males came closer and closer, laughing and taunting you, until they were close enough to grab your wing and snap–
Azriel awoke with a fight thrumming through his veins, the need to hurt and maim and kill screaming at him — but he was alone in his room in the House of Wind. His thundering heart slowed as he took deep breaths…
A muffled sob had his head turning sharply to the door. It was barely audible, but…
There it was again. A frantic sob, so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. He was out of bed in an instant, walking out of his room and into the hallway beyond. There was another sob from your room, and a cry of anguish. Azriel knocked, but there was no response. There was another cry of pain, and consequences be damned, Azriel opened the door.
You were twisting and turning, your scarred wings tense and tear tracks on your cheeks. You were still asleep, still stuck in that dreamscape… Azriel was at your side in a second, hesitating for only a moment before gently grabbing your shoulder.
“Y/n?” he murmured.
Another whimper. He shook your shoulder with a bit more force and you shook out of his grasp. He grabbed you again, cupping your face with one hand.
“Y/n, it’s just a dream,” he assured. 
But you still did not wake up. Azriel usually wasn’t one to panic, but seeing you in this state… It made him frantic. So he mustered as much authority as he could, and ordered, “Y/n, wake up!”
Your eyes opened and you shot out of your bed, flipping him and landing on top, a dagger pressed against his throat. Had he not been worried about you, you would be on the floor, knife discarded across the room. But he stayed still as your wings flared behind you, and as your knee pressed into his chest.
“It’s okay,” he breathed, watching you carefully. “It was a dream, Y/n.”
As if saying your name had snapped you out of a trance, you stumbled back, removing the weapon from his throat and trembling slightly. Azriel rose from the bed, surveying you carefully. Your hand still clutched your dagger, the knuckles of your hands bone white.
“I – I’m sorry,” you whispered, horror in your eyes as you glimpsed the trickle of blood running down his throat. He hadn’t even realised you’d drawn blood, and he resisted the urge to wipe it away.
“It’s okay,” he assured.
You shook your head, pressing your palms into your eyes, your breathing coming in short bursts. Once again, it was instinct that had him walking over to you and bringing you into his embrace. You readily accepted it, your arms wrapping around his middle as sobs racked through your entire body. Azriel whispered assurances into your hair, pressing feather-light kisses there as he consoled you. 
He wanted to chase away every nightmare, to hold you close and tell you how much he loved you — by the Cauldron, the words were on the tip of his tongue… but you had started to pull away. When you pulled away, he felt the loss of your warmth like a slap to the face. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trembling. The words died on his tongue – you didn’t need a love confession right now.
“Are you okay?” Azriel asked, and then mentally hit himself. Of course you weren’t okay – you’d just re-lived one of the most traumatising moments of your life. The fact that he’d seen your dream… he didn’t let himself think about what that meant. Perhaps his shadows had been too curious.
“I will be,” you mumbled. You hesitated, and then added, “Thank you, for waking me up.”
Azriel understood the dismissal in your tone and dipped his head in a nod before heading to the door. Your breathing hitched as he walked away, and he paused in the doorway, his mind and heart and soul screaming at him to tell you – to tell you how he wanted to hold you through the night, how he wanted to learn every inch of you, to know all of your secrets and darkest desires…
But would you want to know his? Would you want him if you knew every despicable thing he’d done, every way he’d torn people apart? He doubted it, so he left the room, just as you wanted him to.
~ * ~
The fire crackled in Azriel’s office as he tapped his pen against his desk. He hated writing reports – it was his least favourite part of his job by far. The only thing that made it bearable was your presence. You sat in one of the plush armchairs, legs draped over the armrest and a book in your hand. 
Azriel found himself getting distracted by you, as he usually did. He just knew he could stare at you for hours on end, even if you were doing something as simple as reading. He would watch you finish the book and then start another, if only to watch the way your lips curved up as you read something humorous, or the way your eyes sparkled when the love interest finally confessed their love for the main character.
Azriel wished he could build up the courage to confess his love to you. It had only been last night that he had seen into your nightmare, and though his soul screamed a single word over and over in his mind, he chalked it up to his shadows being more invasive than they should have.
Because the word his soul cried out, the word that could change everything… it couldn’t be true. In fact, it was too good to be true. Because there was no way the Mother had promised him to you, and you him. Because Illyrian males made you jumpy and uncomfortable, always putting you on edge. How could you love a male of the race that had hunted you down for sport, intending on violating and hurting you in unforgivable ways?
Even so, you weren’t jumpy around him. Granted, he had saved you, had offered you a home in Velaris, had trained you so that you could defend yourself against even the most fearsome of warriors, but…
But nothing, he realised. You didn’t fear him, didn’t run away when you could. You’d had centuries to leave if you wanted to, but you had chosen to stay. Stay with him. He looked up at your lounging form, watching as you turned a page. You seemed at peace here with him, as if you’d never needed to look further.
I love you, I love you, I love you. He wanted to say the words aloud, wanted to say them between breathless kisses, wanted to say them as you writhed beneath him, pleasure filling every pore of both your bodies.
“Azriel.”
Azriel was brought back to reality as you spoke his name, and he realised he’d been staring at you. He refused to blush, refused to let you see how much you affected him – but you weren’t looking at him. Your book was closed, and you were looking at the ground, almost shamefully. He cocked his head in confusion.
“What’s wrong?” he inquired.
You still refused to look at him, instead fiddling with a loose thread on the armchair. You stood up and began to pace, wringing your fingers. It took a few moments, but you finally opened your mouth to speak.
“I’m sorry,” you apologised. “For last night.”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” he murmured.
You shook your head, tears forming in your eyes. “Azriel, I hurt you–”
Azriel was walking to you in an instant, standing by your side. He took your hand in his and squeezed lightly, in an attempt to offer you assurance. “Y/n, it was a natural reaction. I’m sure I would have done the same thing, had the roles been reversed.”
You looked up at him with silver lining your eyes, and before he could overthink it, he pulled you into his arms. You fit perfectly in his arms, as if the two of you had been carved to hold each other. You melted into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him, and holding him as if he was a lifeline. The way you fit just had the words at the tip of his tongue; I love you… But you didn’t need that right now. You needed comfort — you needed a friend. And so Azriel held you, withholding the words that were begging to be spoken.
~ * ~
Starfall had not yet begun, but the celebrations had. Azriel stood by the balcony, overlooking the sea of people who awaited Starfall. Azriel loved Starfall; he loved that everyone came together for it, no matter how far or long they had to travel. It was another one of the few nights that the inner circle could spend time together, letting loose and celebrating.
Not that Azriel tended to let loose. Sure, he’d have a few drinks, but he never got as wild as Cassian or Mor. They drank enough for him, and then some. 
“Hey.”
Azriel turned at the sound of your voice, opening his mouth to offer his own greeting — but nothing came out as he took in the image of you. You wore a cream coloured dress that sparkled like the stars in the sky, hugging your curves and showing off your gorgeous figure. The dress pooled at your feet, and Azriel couldn’t help but stare. Words couldn’t describe how you looked — words such as ethereal, divine, and enchanting came close, but Azriel doubted that there was a single word that could capture the extent of your beauty.
“I — hi,” Azriel got out, quickly averting his gaze, lest he never look away from you again.
You walked up beside him and rested against the railing with him. Azriel liked that you didn’t feel the need to fill the silence — he liked that you could sit with him without speaking, just taking in each other’s company.
There was just so much about you that Azriel loved, and he didn’t want to keep it a secret. He wanted to tell you, wanted you to know. Azriel hid so many parts of his life from everyone, but he wanted to share it with you, share it all with you. He looked at you from the corner of his eye, only to see you already looking at him.
I love you, I love you, I love you! Just say it, you idiot!
“Y/n,” Azriel began, turning his body to face yours.
You responded instantly, your actions mirroring his, so that the two of you were facing each other. This close to you, the sounds of the party disappeared, turning into a muted lull. All he could see, hear, or think about was you.
“Y/n, I’m–”
The sounds of cheers erupted and Azriel turned his head, spying the first star hurtling across the sky, turning and twisting in its glory. It shone bright as it crossed the vast expanse of the night sky, and hundreds more followed. Azriel turned back to you, only to find you captivated by the stars. He smiled slightly at the sight, at the pure joy in your eyes.
Maybe there would never be a good time to tell you. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to tell you. So Azriel took a deep breath, and let it go.
~ * ~
“Oh, come on, Y/n…”
Azriel watched as you sighed through your nose and shook your head. “I have to be up early tomorrow, Mor. You know I’d go if that wasn’t the case.”
Mor looked to Azriel hopefully. “Az?”
Azriel shook his head, and Mor rolled her eyes. “At least you’ve got everyone else.”
Mor sighed dramatically and threw her arms around you, squeezing tight. After a moment she let go, linking her arms with Cassian and Feyre, dragging them to Rita’s for another night of drinking, dancing, and revelling. 
Azriel watched as you sighed after them wistfully, no doubt wanting to lose yourself in the music and rhythm of the pleasure hall. But it was true – you had a mission the very next day, and you had to be gone by dawn.
“You can go with them, you know,” you say, looking at Azriel.
He turned to face you, cocking his head slightly. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not going because I can’t,” you said, causing him to shake his head, but you persisted, “You never go when I can’t. You always walk me home, or stay with me.”
Azriel gulped slightly, wondering if this was it. If this was the night he would finally tell you — tell you that he never went out if you weren’t going because he didn’t want to be parted from you. If this was the night he was to tell you that he actually enjoyed it when you couldn’t go out, because it meant that the two of you could spend more time together.
“I just don’t like going out all that much,” Azriel replied, adding a slight shrug. “Besides, it’s… nicer with just you.”
Azriel refused to blush, refused to let you know how nervous just saying those simple words made him. But you looked up at him with a small smile, not knowing at all what was going on through his mind.
“Yeah, I like being with just you, too,” you admitted, looking up at him with bright eyes.
Once again, Azriel’s heart was screaming at him, screaming to tell you how much he loved you, how much he craved you and needed you, but… he couldn’t. Because although his heart was screaming at him that it must be love, that you must be his mate, his head told him that it wasn’t true. He didn’t deserve you, didn’t deserve someone as wonderful and strong as you.
So he just smiled in response, and walked you home.
~ * ~
Azriel paced around his office, spinning Truth Teller in his hands. You hadn’t come back from your mission yet, and Azriel was… well, he was panicking. He knew you’d be able to take care of yourself, but what if you’d been hurt? What if you were in the middle of nowhere, bleeding out? Thoughts and scenarios played out in Azriel’s mind, and he knew he was overthinking, knew that there had probably been some sort of hold up…
But what if it wasn’t? Azriel had no idea what to do, no idea how to find you and help you if you were dying somewhere. How would he even know if you were?
The door to his office opened to reveal Rhys. Azriel searched his High Lord’s face, praying to the Mother that you had returned safely, but Rhys’s eyes held a hint of despair.
“She’s not back?” Azriel inquired, to which Rhys shook his head.
“Can you find her?” Rhys asked. 
Azriel nodded, and winnowed to the area where your mission was supposed to occur, but he could not find a single trace of you. He was unsure if you were hiding from him, or if you were simply not there. His shadows scoured the entire place, but nothing.
Azriel took a deep breath to calm his erratically beating heart. He just needed to find you, to ensure that you were safe. He peered into himself, into his heart and soul, and felt for the bond. Even if he still wouldn’t admit it fully to himself, he knew the two of you shared a connection, a connection that transcended every other relationship Azriel shared. The bond was almost like a string of pure light, and Azriel tugged on it. He tugged softly at first, testing the waters, before pulling it blindly and sharply. After a moment, he felt a pull in return, albeit smaller and weaker than his own. But he knew where he had to go, and he allowed his shadows to winnow him to you.
He arrived and his senses were immediately filled with the scent of blood, the copperry tang causing his nose to wrinkle. He stood outside a cave in the Illyrian Mountains, a cave not too far from where he first met you on that night three-hundred and forty-seven years ago. And suddenly, Azriel knew what had happened. He smelled the tang of pain and fear in the air — your pain and fear.
With his Siphons glowing and a rage that ran deeper than the pits of Hell, Azriel entered the cave with his blades drawn. The Illyrian male beside the entrance to the cave didn’t even have time to draw his weapon before his head was tumbling from his shoulders. The other males turned at the sound of Azriel’s blade slicing through flesh, tendon, and bone, and as one, the colour drained from their faces. With his shadows swirling behind him like a sea of darkness, blood splattered across his face and chest, and eyes full of a glittering, icy rage, Azriel knew he looked like Death incarnate.
The males barely had a chance to scream before he was upon them, slicing and stabbing. Azriel only wanted to incapacitate them, wanted to take his time peeling them apart for what they had done to you, but the killing rage took over, and before he knew it, five males lay dead at his feet.
A small sob brought him back to his senses, and his head jerked up to where you were chained to the wall, bloodied and broken. He took a step forward before pausing, unsure of how to proceed. Azriel swallowed and lowered his wings in an attempt to make him appear less threatening.
“Y/n?” he tried, stepping closer.
“Azriel,” you got out.
He heard the hope in your voice and immediately stepped closer, his eyes on the chains that trapped you. He touched it and his shadows recoiled — the chains had been imbued with some sort of spell that suppressed magic. It only took his shadows a few seconds to find the keys, and he freed you from the grasp of the spelled metal.
With nothing to hold you up, you collapsed into Azriel’s arms. After a quick lookover, he judged your injuries much worse than he’d feared, and panic started to creep in.
“Hey, hey,” Azriel murmured. “You’ll be okay.”
He slipped an arm under your legs and behind your back, picking you up and holding you close to him. He could feel your heart beating faintly, as if it was his own. Your eyes had fluttered closed, and he held you tight and winnowed back to Velaris, right into Madja’s office. The older healer jumped slightly, a pen nearly falling from her fingers, but she quickly jumped into action.
“Lay her down here, Shadowsinger,” Madja commanded, gesturing to a cot.
Azriel did so, although he never physically parted with you. His hand gripped your own, and Madja knelt down, her hands glowing as she held them over your body, healing broken bones and the other various injuries you had sustained. A cup of a lavender potion was held above your mouth.
“Drink, Y/n,” Azriel ordered.
As if you would never dream of disobeying him, you did as he asked, despite your half-conscious state. Your eyes fluttered closed again.
“Talk to her,” Madja demanded as she worked. “She’s fading in and out. You need to keep her here.”
“Please, Y/n,” Azriel begged. His icy demeanour was gone, and all one could see was the warmth and love he harboured for you. “Please, Y/n. I… I need you here, darling. Don’t leave me…” Azriel took a deep breath. “I love you, Y/n, and if you stay, if you survive, I swear I’ll tell you. I’ve wanted to tell you for centuries, but… it never felt like the right time. Please, Y/n…”
“Azriel,” you muttered, your hand squeezing his weakly.
“Yes, Y/n, my love,” Azriel murmured, squeezing back. “Just stay with me.”
Azriel reached inwards again, reached into his heart and soul, and tugged on the string that bound the two of you. You jerked slightly at the sensation, your eyes fluttering open. Despite how exhausted you were, despite the pain and injuries wearing you down, your eyes found Azriel’s. He saw the word in your eyes, saw the word he’d been denying to himself over and over again.
As Madja healed you, as your injuries stitched themselves back together with her magic, your eyes became clearer, more alert. They never left Azriel, and his never left you. Neither of you spoke — there were no words that could be said in that moment. When Madja finally finished, she ducked out of the room, sensing the tension between you two.
“I survived,” you said finally, your eyes searching his.
Azriel let out a small huff of laughter. “I suppose you did.” He took a deep breath. “Y/n, I love you. I love your smile, I love your determination, I love your laugh… I love everything about you. I have loved you for centuries, and I will love you for the centuries to come, if you let me.”
Silver lined your eyes as you smiled up at him. “You’ve loved me for centuries?”
Azriel nodded, “From the moment I met you.”
You took in a shuddering breath, emotions overwhelming you. Azriel felt something in his chest, felt a small tug, and he looked at you in surprise as he felt the bond. You stared at him, almost in surprise.
“This is how you found me,” you whispered.
Azriel nodded. “I will always find you.”
He couldn’t form words to describe it, anyway — had no idea how he knew it would work. There was just a feeling that he had, a need to keep you safe, just like he had when he had first found you in the snowy forest, broken and bleeding. He now knew it was the bond that had sent him over the edge, the bond that had his blood boiling and rage and death running through his veins. 
“I’ve loved you for so long, Az,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his face lightly.
Azriel leaned into the touch, relishing in the contact between your bodies. He let out a shaky breath, knowing that this was it. This was the moment he had waited centuries for, the moment that he had dreamt of for so long.
“You’re my mate,” you whispered.
“And you’re mate,” Azriel echoed.
You smiled slightly, your thumb brushing lightly over his cheek. Azriel’s hand reached up and cupped yours, and the warmth in your eyes nearly made him melt.
“I love you, Y/n,” Azriel murmured.
You pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you, Azriel. And I will always find you, too.”
azriel taglist: @ruleroftides @officiallyjaehyuns (let me know if you'd like to be added to my azriel tag list!)
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cloudninetonine · 10 months
Text
A Player's Aid: Chapter 15
Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe
A/N: Hey guys! Finally more APA :))) There's been slight editing to this chapter as it got too long so those memes I made are a little incorrect :')))
Warnings: Bad language, Talk of conflict, talking of fighting (both verbal and phsyical), mentions of past pain, Tears spoilers (Purah Pad)
Waking up the next morning had never felt so draining.
The muscles in your eyelids fought desperately to stay closed, eyes stinging from the sun’s light with a tiring red edging your sclera and dark bags hanging in a show of your exhausted expression. God, you were tired. Void of any energy, your body felt a mere husk in the light of the morning sun as you lazily glanced around the entirety of the area, gaze falling once again to the fire pit that had been moulded by the boys the day before.
The scene differed in this instance, the sleeping bodies that once surrounded those burning embers were now animated frames ambling about for their morning routines; packing for the oncoming journey that awaited you and others simply standing for the sake of standing, chatting amongst themselves while their residential cook got to work on breakfast.
God, the idea of walking for another ten hours only brought a sickening sensation to your gut, churning with an audible curdle that caught the attention of some closer to you.
Hyrule’s face broke out in relief as he crouched down just beside you, his hand coming to gently cup your cheek. “I feared you wouldn’t wake until late afternoon, how do you fare?”
Closing your eyes your body naturally sought the comfort the brunette could so easily give you. “I’m tired.”
The back of his palm pressed gently against your forehead. “Are you ill? You do not feel warm.”
“No, just tired, Rulie.” Just wanting to curl up in a ball, cover your head and hoping to stay in the comfort of your blanket and floppy sleep mat.
Nearly dying would do that to a person.
“The Champion is preparing something easy for your stomach.” Time had stepped a little closer, not yet decked out in his usual intimidating chestplate and chainmail skirt as he leaned down in a similar fashion to your impromptu nurse. “He expected possible ailment or fatigue- tell me, do you think you will be able to journey today?”
The look Hyrule sent the eldest was smouldering, bubbling hot anger with a side of daring. “You can clearly see, they are not.”
The blonde sighed. “They can speak for themself, traveller-”
“Oh? Is that right? Is that what they did when you thrust your little plan onto them?” Your eyebrows furrowed at those words, glancing between the two in a quizzical manner as you watched the hero practically spit pure spite. “Or did you even let them speak? Just assumed they would be so eager to please you and would sacrifice their life for the sake of your precious theory?”
Ah, now you got it. Understanding the weight behind his actions, you knew it would have taken Time a while to finally bring forward what he did. He was a noble man, one able to admit his faults and wrongs in the faces of the many, that was the vibe you got from him anyway- and you were right. It came soon, sooner than you had expected but here was the proof right before your very eyes.
A very angry Hyrule.
If you knew he was going to throw such burning words you would have told the eldest hero that it best this secret lay low.
“Traveller!” Twilight snapped, walking forward- Oh? Is that why you felt a little more lonely that morning? Such a shame, Wolfie was so comfy. “Watch your tongue!”
Hyrule’s head snapped back. “Just like you watched your own? You just love to lick your ancestor’s boots, don’t you, ranch-hand?”
The whole group gaped- Time included.
Oop. Gagged.
“So eager to please the man you let sleeping dogs lie?” Twilight flinched at that. “You make me sick. Both of you do.”
Tension rose from 0 to 100 real quick. The expressions on everyone’s face held similar tones of surprise and nerves at the aggressive growl that their usual passive and caring healer held. You didn’t like it, not one bit, you hated the very obvious disgust that Hyrule plastered on his face as he looked between two of the oldest heroes, his brothers. 
Glancing back at Wild, you expected him to react- nothing. The blonde continued to stir the cooking cauldron with a grouchy pinch to his lip.
Him too?
Legend’s words seemed to grow truer and truer with each passing day, at least to your eyes. You in no way wanted to cause a wedge between these men, this group of heroes who shared the same name and adopted an unyielding affection towards each other from the hardships that they all faced. You didn’t want to drive them apart, to drag any away from their beautiful bond just because of mistakes. A mistake. A stupid mistake made by a man who held the weight of the world on his shoulders.
You refused to be the person that Legend so strongly believed you to be.
“Watch your mouth, Link.” Hyrule paused, turning back to look at your hardened expression- you didn’t want to be rude to the man, you had come to care about him so, but if it was your job to put him in his place then so be it. “You have every right to be upset but you shouldn’t say such horrible things to your friends.”
Time seemed surprised; Twilight looked surprised; Hyrule was surprised.
“Everything turned out okay.” God, would they stop staring at you? You hated being acknowledged. “He needed to know something important and he got his answer. Yeah, it was a stupid and shitty thing to do but for the sake of literally billions of people I would let him do it a hundred times if it meant it had you guys one step closer to defeating the Shadow.”
Silence.
“...Are you listening to yourself?” He asked, not venomous but certainly not kindly. “You could have died, (Name). Died because of his selfish little want-”
“It’s not selfish if he was thinking about the well-being of others-”
“Stop defending him!” You jumped a little at his voice, blinking wide with a look of surprise burned into your features at his own panicked eyes. “Stop. Stop putting yourself below others like you’re some insect in the mud, you are better than that-”
“You don’t fucking know me!”
The yell echoed through the air, sharp as it sliced the tension similar to a butcher knife with fresh meat, the others around the camp turning all eyes on you as you pushed your body up, your finger pointed right in the face of the traveller. Gaze burning, slightly wet with tears as trembling emotions swam through your bloodstream with repressed memories gnawing at the back of your mind.
“You don’t know where I come from, you don’t know who my family are, nor my friends or who the hell I even am!” The scream from yesterday had torn at your throat leaving an uncomfortable hoarse feeling as you yelled, voice cracking from the strain. “Don’t speak like you fucking know me, Link! You bloody well don’t! For all you know, I could have deserved to die on that day!”
Everyone flinched; Sky stepped forward.
“Now isn’t that going a little too far-”
“Shut up, Sky!”
He fell back, sharing a look with Four at your yell.
Turning back to Hyrule’s expression you almost faltered. He looked like a kicked puppy, face fallen, eyes wide with hurt and confusion with his hands up in surrender- he didn’t want this and neither did you, but hey, maybe this would get Legend to back off if Hyrule decided to avoid you after this. “Don’t you ever assume my character. You don’t know it, we met a week ago for fuck's sake! Do yourself a fucking solid and don’t ruin your damn relationships over this damn burden.”
With not much room for an exit, you collapsed back into your bedroll and dragged the blanket over your head, blocking out the view of them all in an effort to hide your wobbling lip and misty eyes. You hated confrontation, you hated making people upset, and seeing Hyrule look so broken over your yelling only made you feel like dog shit. How could you talk to your hero like that? Such a kind, humble man who only wanted what was best for you?
Here you were, acting so childish because he cared.
You turned your back to him, not that it mattered being covered by the comforter, but you needed to hide yourself even further and to you, this was the only way how.
Hide. Hide like the coward you were.
There was movement- the sound of footsteps in grass and the gentle call of one of the boys, the concerning, soft “traveller-” only squeezing at your heart, tears running down your cheeks at the thought of Hyrule wandering away.
There was more movement, more talking but you didn’t budge. You stayed there, curled into a ball with your mind only focused on the feeling of melancholy as those things happened around you. Even when Hyrule returned, even when Wild shook you gently to eat breakfast and when a group of footsteps collectively began to move back towards the castle, a lessening silence hanging over you and another soul hovering around the camp. Curled, still silently crying.
----------
“They didn’t mean that.”
The traveller’s head lifted slowly, glancing over to the Hero of the Wild with eyes still dim as the Champion kept his slacking pace, the others near yards ahead.
“You don’t know that.” The ache in his chest still present, the brunette kept his gaze to the dirt of the castle path. “The emotion in their voice was very heavy.”
The blonde spared him a sympathetic glance. “A lot has happened to them these past few days- I don’t think they meant the malicious tones.”
“...”
To see such raw emotion directed towards the fairy boy certainly wasn’t something fun. Hard on his heart, it weighed down all the way to the dark pit of his stomach as your words from that morning replayed in his head like a broken record. 
“You don’t even know me!”
It was a harsh hiss echoing through his head with every step. Every lasting memory in his mind taunting him as he thought about that guiding light back then. 
So bright, so mirthful and so wise- you followed him everywhere in the place of his courageous heart, motivating him at every turn. You helped him through puzzles, you sang his praises through every battle and tended to his wounds in the evening glow by the dancing fire while telling tales of old- you knew of the old hero too, his predecessor and even his predecessor’s predecessor. You had been with him for more than just those two journeys, no, you had been there for him for lifetimes.
And now here you were. Still bright, still mirthful and still wise- but your mind fogged at the mention of your honoured title. To you, you were not his guide, held so highly in the light of his eyes, but the burden cast upon the shoulders of the heroes, on top of the already heavy duty of protecting Hyrule.
“We don’t really know them…do we?” Hyrule’s voice was small, hesitant to speak the words. “We know a version of them that has seemed to be lost to time but-....is that really them, back there? Our Guide?”
Hyrule had doubted in those past few days, of course he had. You may have had their voice but that did not mean you were his guide- maybe he had been mistaken that day? Caught up in the shadows of sweet memories hearing the kindness and care that honeyed your words. Did he really know you?
“...I don’t know.” Wild’s eyes stared ahead, focused on the backs of the many other heroes. “But I do know this- they care for us, just like our guide did.”
The brunette glanced over, a feeling washing over him at the light that sparkled in the reflection of the blonde’s eyes- glowing in the sun, they resembled the beauty of a blue sapphire as he continued.
“It’s all I can see. In their eyes, in their actions and in their words, I don’t remember the last time I had ever seen such an emotion after finally waking from my century of sleep- handled with such softness.” He sighed, blissful, “And I know they don’t remember, I know they may not even be who I long for- but still, they feel the same. They feel like home. Like a bed after a hard day's work and I feel safe, brother.”
…Hyrule knew that feeling. He knew exactly what he was talking about. The traveller felt the same around you, felt that long awaited sense of comfort and stability that came with your mere presence. It was why your words felt like a dagger in his chest, your anger sharper than any blade that scathed his skin.
“Those nights ago, when I said it hurt that (Name) did not remember, I meant those words but- not as much as I expected. I am a new man, one born from our time together and from being with all of you. I want them to experience the new me and I want to experience the new them- make new memories.”
Hyrule wanted that too- he wanted you to know the new him. Know how your influence had changed him for the better.
Wild’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Hyrule shared a look with him, understanding. “...I pushed them a little, didn’t I?”
“You were upset but yes, I believe so.”
Hyrule released a wet laugh, rubbing at his eyes. “I will apologise once we return.”
“Good plan, brother of mine.”
----------
“Are you going to stay underneath this blanket for the rest of the day?”
The glow of Gilda’s magic was calming, a forest green that hummed with the magic of old as she laid comfortably against your chest. She had joined you a little after the boys had left, fighting her way underneath the heavy fabric of your duvet to see your face still wet with tears after your ‘confrontation’ earlier that day. The fairy did not press you, only stayed a quiet presence- well, until now.
“Yeah maybe,” you croaked, sniffling slightly, “maybe I’ll just stay here and die like I deserve.”
The fairy’s wings fluttered gently, “don’t say stuff like that.”
“I shouted at Hyrule-”
“My brother will not collapse over some words said in anger.” You looked down at her as she shifted, her eyes catching yours through the soft glow of her magic. “Even if you were the person to say it- my brother has gone through worse hardships than being yelled at.”
You felt tears once again grow in your eyes. “But I was still so rude and he was just trying- he-”
Gilda shushed you gently, crawling up to your cheek and wiping at your eyes gently while you whimpered. “Oh Guide, the legends were true about your bleeding heart, it seems.”
You blinked in confusion, voice wobbly with confusion. “Legends-”
“(Name)? Are you okay?” Sky’s voice caught your attention, muffled by the comforter around your head. “....do you want to talk about it?”
No. No you did not, but you didn’t seem to have much of a choice when Gilda quickly flew up and dragged the blanket off your face to reveal to the Skyloftian knight the internal conflict that currently raged in your own head. A dirty trick by the dancing green wisp, your hand swiped to grab her but she had already zipped away to Epona and hid in the strands of her beautiful platinum blonde mane.
Bitch.
“...I’m fine.” A sight to behold, a mess of snot and tears as you laid in your bedroll, “I don’t need to talk.”
Sky paused before readjusting himself, the piece of wood he had been gently carving settled onto his lap along with his carving knife. “....do you need to eat?”
You glanced over.
“Sometimes when I’m upset I just need to fill up my stomach- pumpkin soup usually does the trick.”
“...are you asking me if I’m hangry, Link?”
“....I think?” He shrugged his shoulders, gesturing with his head towards the cauldron of food that Wild had left. “Would you like me to make you a bowl?”
You laid there for another moment, considering your options for just a few passing seconds before finally pushing your body up into a seated position with a small nod. “Yes please.”
It was…awkward. The man stayed quiet through the whole ordeal, just spooning some simple morning porridge into a bowl and handing it over to your awaiting hands. You thanked him quietly, sitting back with your eyes focused on the soft meal so as to not catch his gaze, as you could feel his stare still focused on your hunched figure.
You knew you couldn’t just wallow in this self-pity for the rest of the day, but it felt like the only familiarity to you after being away from home for so long. It was like greeting an old toxic friend after a ghostly parting, you couldn’t quite dismiss them but you did not want to welcome them in any shape or form. However, after already so long, the rest of the Chain now away in that castle of darkness and pain- you knew you couldn’t run from your own actions forever.
You started off slow. “I’m sorry.”
Sky hummed but you still refused to look his way. “For what I said earlier- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”
“That’s alright-”
“No, no it’s not alright.” You raised your head, you couldn’t hide from this. “I didn’t want to be interrupted but it was still wrong of me to tell you to shut up, I’m sorry for how I said it.”
“But not what you said?”
“....I needed to finish what I was saying earlier….I didn’t want to, but it had to come out before it became something worse than it was.”
The knife against the wooden carving gently chiselled further along its surface, a shape being moulded from the small piece of timber the further along Sky worked. It was interesting to see him actually craft, in Skyward Sword it was only ever hinted that the man liked to do such hobbies, and never in your life would you think you would be able to see Link himself actually whittle right in front of you.
“...what are you making?”
“A remlit,” looking closer, you could see the two giant ears to the cat-like creature in full. “An animal from my era- they’re quite sweet usually but in the night they would become temperamental.”
“...” You knew that a little too well, dodging too many attacks from those little shits while trying complete missions on the mainland of Skyloft. 
“My instructor, Mr Horwell, he used to say that the reason they would get temperamental was because they would bottle up every negative emotion in the day and let it out during the night- as everyone slept they would rage, and whoever would come across them would deal with the consequences..” You watched another wooden flake fall onto his lap as he carefully sculpted the face. “But they were kind creatures, purring and pawing the next day with love in their eyes. They never did want to cause harm, but sometimes it’s just inevitable. That did not mean they were cruel creatures- they were still worthy of love.”
“...ah.” You weren’t quite sure what to say. You knew where the knight was coming from, you could decipher the metaphor he so smoothly hid under the words of his old instructor and felt appreciation for his subtle attempt to make you feel better- everyone had bad days, sometimes the wrong people could be hurt from them but that did not mean you were a bad person. You could fix what you had damaged. “....thank you, Link.”
His smile was cute, lips upturning with ocean blue eyes warm with a beautiful kindness. “For what? I was just repeating the words of an old professor, that’s all.”
You huffed a laugh, “yeah, sure.”
Sky brought the remlit carving to his lips and gently blew at the statue, ridding it of any remaining shavings before gently grabbing your hand and placing the figure in your palm. “Please, have it. I have many more back in my own home.”
“Oh you don’t have to-”
“I insist.”
After a moment’s hesitation you carefully brought it up higher to inspect the beautiful detail that Sky had put into the carving.
…you needed to apologise to Hyrule.
-----------  
“Well, that was uneventful.”
“You could say that again.” Wind moaned, trudging behind Warriors’ form with a disgruntled look on his face. “The Shadow couldn’t even bother to stay? We just trekked over a whole fucking castle for nothing!”
“Language, sailor.” The captain’s quip wasn’t as fast as usual, a tired drip to his tone yet his disappointment did not yield. “What have I told you about your unnecessary curses?”
The young boy’s mouth opened, his eyes swirling with a devious intent only for his lips to slam shut at the look that the eldest of the group sent him. “Be calm, sailor, I don’t think now is the time.”
Wind deflated and that was that from him.
The castle search was deemed tedious- it was empty. Every corner of the palace swept proved  vacant, only the webbing of the hulking arachnids left behind, with the few remains of the usual skulltula drops that they only strayed away from- the men were overflowing in materials and a mere monster claw here and there wasn’t the biggest of discoveries that they cared to deal with.
So, after a few hours of wandering, investigating, and turning up seemingly more empty-handed compared to how they were when they entered- the boys left. It wasn’t that late when they had, mid afternoon with the sun still fairly high in the baby blue sky, puffy clouds dotting the expanse of colour with a calming silence as they continued to trek the dirt path leading up the famous Hyrule Castle.
Hyrule’s fingers unconsciously fiddled with the material of his vambrace, nails scratching against the old, weathered leather with the tips of his fingers pressing against the seams. The nerves were stronger now, thoughts of returning to the camp causing uncomfortable palpitations that almost mimicked sharp talons digging into the beating muscle with a cruel vigour that only seemed to make the panicked beating worse-
“Traveller.” Wild’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, “it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
Hyrule ignored his reassurance. “Do you think they’re still upset?”
“Brother-”
“I don’t know how I’ll be able to resolve this- what could I even say?” Had he not already been walking the brunette would have been violently pacing, his footprints making dents in the dirt. “I know I need to apologise for pushing but what could I possibly say-”
“Link.” Tightening his grip, Wild tugged the man back before he could push himself into a dead sprint- he was always a good runner. “You won’t know until you face them- let’s not get in over our own heads, aye?”
However, Wild was never really good at comforting others and by Hylia did he feel awkward in his attempt.
Hyrule bit nervously at his nails, pupils shrinking at the sight of the camp growing bigger and bigger, along with your hunkered figure beside the Skyloftian Knight with an easier expression compared to that morning. Ah, his heart seemed to relax at that, maybe this would be easier?
Your eyes turned to him and suddenly he felt like that little 10-year-old on his way to face the incarnation of Evil in his dungeon of destruction and darkness.
You weren’t Ganon, of course you weren’t but the shadowing feelings of insecurity and doubt made him want to run like you were.
The two of you stood to greet them all, Sky moving to talk to Time as the eldest moved closer but you pretty much rushed past them all, not bothering to glance at the others as your eyes stayed focused on the brunette and blonde duo with a cocktail of emotions swirling in your gaze. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at, unable to decipher the intentions behind them, when you had finally stopped just a few paces before them, awkward but not backing down.
“....Can we talk for a few minutes?” You glanced between them, “Both of you? I think there’s something we need to talk about.”
You left no room for argument as you quickly grabbed their hands and began to drag them away. The many others turned to look at your trio quizzically as you rushed off into the haze of trees surrounding your camp, wandering a distance further enough so the others wouldn’t hear your talk as you finally turned to the boys, standing there awkwardly with a look similar to constipation as you tried to figure yourself out.
Moments of silence passed.
You finally opened your mouth-
“I’m sorry-”
“No.”
Hyrule blinked, glancing to Wild who shrugged in confusion as you cleared your throat, fidgeting nervously on the spot, your hand dived into your pocket to toy with the small remlit. “No, I’m sorry- you shouldn’t say sorry. Well, not to me maybe Time, and Twilight- but that’s not the topic of the moment. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for snapping at you, I’m also sorry for the fact I probably look like I’m ready to pass a kidney stone- leave the questions till after Wild- I find it hard to apologise about things that present themselves as moral dilemmas. I feel like I was right about what I said but the way I said it wasn’t right- which leads me to saying this.”
Grasping their hands, you brought them together in an action of care, thumbs gently running over the skin of the back of their hands. Hyrule’s was softer compared to Wild’s, the champion’s skin marred with burns from those guardians that long century ago- you brushed it with care.
“I….I don’t remember.” The weight on your shoulders seemed to lessen, but you weren’t quite there yet; you continued. “I don’t remember a thing about being the guide. I don’t remember your journeys, I don’t remember the stories you talk about and I just don’t remember being your guide. I’m not sure if it’s some mental block from being from another world, or my memories were taken after finishing your games- hell, I don’t even know if I am the guide. I know you guys seem so sure but if I was someone this important I’d remember, right? I don’t know, I just- just-”
Your head was cast downwards during this talk, a mixture of shame and fear climbing up the expanse of your spine as your throat seemed to tighten with each word. You rambled, you were a rambler and you couldn’t help it- you needed to explain and you just couldn’t stop: the truth, your own feelings, your own doubts, your own fears and so much more. In your mind you had been tricking these men, deceiving them, living a life of lies that you let them crown you with like it was a veil of honour instead of what it really was- a mistake. They were mistaken. You were probably mistaken and if you were the person they had spoken so highly of all this time then you would finally spill the beans.
Looking at their face, you couldn’t fight back the tears. “I don’t want to trick you guys. I don’t want this to come back and bite me- a little selfish but the truth. I don’t want you guys to mistake some rando to be this highly respected entity. Maybe I am somehow related to this person in some weird soul link but I will no longer let you believe a lie that would only serve to harm both you and me.”
Gasping for breath, you hiccuped. “Please. Please forgive me for not saying anything earlier I-”
Wild’s hand moved gently, taking his scarred appendage from your grip to gently hold your cheek, catching your eyes with his own. “We know.”
A few seconds passed, you blinked as you managed to whisper a cracked, “...what?”
“We know you don’t remember.” Hyrule’s face filled with guilt, eyes shining with regret as he continued. “We’ve known for quite some time- we just didn’t want to place that weight over your shoulders.”
“But it seems we did so anyway.” A single tear that fell was gently brushed away by Wild’s thumb. “Forgive us.”
You hiccuped once again, “but- but why didn’t you say anything-”
“We thought maybe with time you would remember- with your name, your presence and your affiliation with magic, it never really crossed our mind that maybe you aren’t them. So, we decided to wait for the memories to come in.” Wild looked pained, “to force important memories would not be good for your health, (Name), trust me I know what that can do to one’s mind.”
More tears and more sobs, your body shook with the exhaustion of the emotional turmoil that once hung heavy on your shoulders, now free from the strain and feeling lighter than they had for days. Carrying guilt like this was always a burden, breaking you down day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. You were never one to easily carry lies like they were leaves in your pocket- they felt more like a tiger stalking an antelope, following and following until one day they would strike.
Being pulled into the arms of the heroes was solace, collapsing into their warmth, still crying from the whirlwind as they held you protectively in their grip.
“I’m sorry, (Name).” Hyrule’s voice was heavy with emotion as he spoke, “I would have never said those things if I knew you felt that way, I-”
You tightened your grip, “it’s okay, Link-”
“No no it’s not and you don’t need to think it is.” When the brunette pulled back his face seemed soft but his eyes burned with a passion that was almost too bright, “However, I will stand by what I said- whether you are our Guide or not you are just as important as the rest of us. I will not have you be any kind of bait ever again, nor will you come close to death for as long as I live.”
When your eyes met his, you almost melted at the affection. “I would rather give my life than let you ever step on death’s doorstep…okay?”
“....Okay- but-”
Wild groaned, “dear goddesses, you're as stubborn as a mule.”
You pressed a finger to his lips, smiling when his eyes crossed to see it. “Shush pretty boy- this goes for you too. Anyway, I also want you to apologise to Twilight and Time for how you acted- not what you said. I know why you said it, don’t get me wrong, but as I said earlier, you’ve known these men longer than you have me, you’ve got a brotherhood with them and the way you spoke to them earlier was not okay.”
Hyrule huffed, “They needed to hear it.”
“Time did and he had, from both me and Twilight, but the rancher didn’t deserve that- he was just defending his old man,” you joked, gently booping Hyrule’s nose. “So, if you’re dishing apologies make sure to plate those two as well- okay fairy boy?”
Ears flickered happily at the name while his face was downturned, red seeping into his cheeks as the traveller tried to avoid your warm expression. “Okay.”
Glancing to Wild, you raised a brow. “Well?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Knowing you, you probably poured bugs into their sleeping bags!”
“No- that’s something the sailor would do, but I-”
“Oh, shut up.”
Tugging the two boys close once again the three of you shared lighter laughs, the tension that once hung heavy now gone within a moment as you joked mirthfully in spite of the earlier stress. You were grateful for the break, needing a moment away from the horrors of reality and trauma from earlier days that you knew unfortunately lurked in the depths of your mind, waiting for the worst moment to pounce.
However, right here, right now, you didn’t have to worry.
“Let’s rejoin the others- you both need to apologise.”
Both groaned, but did not fight your insistence as you tugged them back.
----------
An awkward apology at the least- Hyrule was able to manage the words, his usual kinder nature allowing him to offer both the old man and his descendant with only the most subtle hint of hesitance while Wild stewed in his defiance, kicking at the dirt with a harrowing sigh. The blonde only really broke when you sent a glare across the camp, eyes narrowed with a scowl that grew with disappointment every passing second until finally he managed to grunt a “sorry” that you knew wasn’t quite true but you let him off when the two older men seemed to accept it.
Silence rang out.
“Can we have dinner- I’m dying over here!” But thanks to the sailor’s flapping mouth, in the next half hour plates were served with steaming dishes of herbs, spices and the usual dinnertime chatter made sure to pave the way for a much calmer evening.
Sat between Hyrule and Wild, you felt more at peace compared to the last day and a half, spooning the contents of the champion’s amazing cooking into your mouth as you watched everyone converse. Wind joked with Warriors, the young sailor throwing playful jabs at the older captain while next to him Legend and Four were idly chatting. Twilight and Time seemed more interested in their food similar to you as Wild and Hyrule discussed in unwanted detail the scarring that marred Wild’s left side with Sky’s disturbed look not even hidden as he stared at the two with a disgruntled look.
Quiet, you raised the spoon closer to your face, more aware of yourself than you had been for a long while when you finally noticed, your hand gloveless- the yellow of the Sheikah eye.
Yellow?
Since when?
Pulling back the appendage, you studied it in confusion. The veins that ran up your arm had a similar tint, having changed from the luminous blue that had once decorated your skin into the sunshine yellow. How had you not noticed this? When did this happen? But then again, running for your life in the palace was probably more important than studying yourself in a mirror.
Glancing over to your side you caught the glimmer of Hyrule’s sword, shimmering in the light of the evening sun. Without hesitation you grabbed it, being careful with the beautifully crafted blade as you slightly pulled it from its sheath and stared at the reflection of the polished steel-
Your eye also glowed in a similar way, with only a single ring of Sheikah blue surrounding your iris.
“What the fuck…” You breathed, pulling at the skin under your eye to get a better look. “....looks like fucking piss. Piss eye.”
Piss eye.
Thank fuck your friends weren’t here- you couldn’t deal with hearing that for however long this new development stayed.
“Huh?” Sky seemed to zone in on you, looking at you with the same odd expression on his face he had already been wearing. “Are you okay, (Name)?”
Hyrule and Wild’s conversation stopped instantly, glancing over to you along with a few others- you weren’t exactly paying attention to them, still looking in the reflection of the sword.
“My eye is yellow-” Hyrule’s speed was almost comical as he leapt to his feet, grasping your face to study your current predicament.
“Does it hurt?”
“No-”
“Are you sure?”
“Hyrule, I’m alright.” You laughed, pushing his hands away. “Don’t panic yourself because then I will panic and I think I’ve had enough of that recently.”
Wild’s hand gently ran over the skin of the glow, studying the mark closely as the yellow reflected off the skyline blue of his eyes. “Reminds me of Stasis on the slate.”
“That thing you used to freeze the Shadow?” Wind hopped over to poke at the sigil. “Would be pretty useful if they could use it, huh?”
Four looked sceptical. “And how would that work, sailor?”
“Well, uh-”
“I did use it.”
Another silence hung over the camp when the words had left you, Hyrule stopped, Wild stopped, all eyes were on you as scenes from the other day played in your head. Yes, yes you had used the Stasis, you remembered how the yellow chains jingled and how the Shadow raged ferally in his imprisonment, those manic red eyes glaring down at you like a rabid dog ready to pounce-
You swallowed the anxiety building up in your throat, hands suddenly shaking in your lap as you blinked away fearful tears. “I- I used it on the Shadow- I- I stasised him when he was going to kill me-”
You let out a shaky breath.
Were the trees suddenly closer? Was it getting darker around you guys? But the evening had only just begun, it wasn’t supposed to be dark yet- no, the darkness was moving. Oh God, was Dink here? Was he coming to get you? Were you about to die?
Blood pumped in your ears viciously, drowning out the earlier noise as you frantically glanced around for any sign of the monster that lurked in the shadows, waiting to pull that dark sword of his and finally slice your neck-
“Hey!” You managed only a small yelp when Wind shook your shoulders, the world falling back into view as you caught ocean blue eyes staring back at you. “It's not here, okay?”
“Wha- what-”
“The Shadow isn’t here.” Hyrule moved back into view as Wind finally released you, looking concerned along with the rest of the group- minus Legend, the man just looked unimpressed. “....it must have been pretty scary if mentioning it made you this upset.”
You looked down.
“...I’m not used to running for my life.”
The animals of Hyrule chittered.
“Let’s see it in action then.”
You made a sound of confusion only to tense up at the sight of an apple heading right towards you. Muscle memory kicked in, all those PE sessions of tennis balls, cricket balls, shuttlecocks and more flying towards you at a speed that seemed more mach 2 than anything causing you to ball up with your arms flying to protect your face. A squeak of slight fear left your mouth as you braced for impact.
Waiting.
Waiting.
And waiting.
“Vet! What is your problem!?”
Peeking open an eye, you saw a hand reached out, the fruit that had been previously hurled towards you secured in its grasp as the champion stood taller with a look of rage plastered on his face- you could practically hear the apple cracking under the pressure of Wild’s seething grip.
“What?” Legend shrugged, leaning back. “If it appeared when they felt in danger it was really the only logical option.”
Twilight stood when Wild growled. “Champion, step back.”
“If he wants a fight I’ll give him one-”
Legend grinned snidely, also standing. “I’d like to see you try, cook.”
More people were standing and the tension quickly jumped to dangerous levels, heat growing on your face from the sudden nerves as you also hopped to your feet, rushing to grab Wild’s shoulder and yank him back.
“Let’s not!” You yelped, tightening your grasp when Wild tried to shrug you off. “I don’t need to be defended! Walk away!”
“I-”
“I suggest you listen, Champion.” Time looked furthest from pleased, his scarred eye opening to reveal the milky white that encompassed the whole of the organ. “Walk away, there will be no fighting in this group.”
Tension threatened to bubble out of the pot, bursting into a horrid brawl that would only serve to pull the boys away further than they already had from one another. Legend was a prick, that was your impression of him at least, but you also knew that he wasn’t always a prick from the friendships he had formed with each one of these men. If they were willing to defend him as they did each other then you didn’t want to cause more unnecessary drama, you may not have liked him in this moment but that did not mean you were about to have people fight him just because he was a dickhead.
Wild scowled. "He started this-"
"And I'm ending it." Time stepped closer. "I will see to it that he doesn't do it again, go cool yourself down."
Wild stood for a few more moments, still glaring at Legend who glared right back before taking a deep breath and turning his back towards his friend- out of sight, out of mind. You smiled at him encouragingly, feeling proud when he managed a smile back-
"I guess the ranch-hand isn't the only obedient mutt."
It felt like slow motion. Time turned with an angered look, lips pulling back to scold the veteran with Wild spinning in a similar raged way, eyes narrowed. Twilight also seemed to be disturbed by the words, all around the boys looked both surprised and unnerved by the veteran’s cold hiss. Even the man himself looked slightly surprised by his own words, a flash of regret reflecting in his eyes-
Just before your fist made contact with his cheek.
Not much was said amongst the crowd, only a shared look of shock as he stumbled a few steps, red quickly blooming on his cheek while you ground your teeth together in a burning fury, hissing.
“Watch your fucking mouth!”
He didn’t even give you a second before he shook it off, everyone frozen as he stopped his stagger and spun back around to deliver a similar blow right to your own cheek, the surprising force behind his fist strong enough to send you back on your arse with a pained flinch.
Silence once again gathered around you all.
Wind blinked, “Damn.”
And suddenly they all kicked into gear.
The shouting was loud as your world spun, the burning sensation on your cheek from Legend’s punch dulling the throb of your knuckles from your own attack as you tried to differentiate up from down. You could see bodies moving rapidly but you couldn’t quite focus on what was happening, even as you were quickly tugged to your feet and heard a voice right by your ear that you couldn’t quite focus on. 
Fuck, that was embarassing.
You had been downed so easily by a man shorter than yourself- but honestly, what had you expected with punching an experienced hero?
“I have had enough of this!” Time’s voice was very distinct, much deeper compared to the others with a growl that could freeze armies upon hearing the rage in his tone. “Acting like brats at a time like this!? You are not children, I will not have you fighting as such and the mere fact that I have already had the need to repeat myself, multiple times, about this is ridiculous!”
You blinked, finally focusing in- Legend had been grabbed and restrained by Warriors, the anger still evident but overshadowed by shame while Twilight held back a near frothing Wild, Hyrule in a similar position with Time, huffing as he stared down the veteran with burning eyes. Taking in your surroundings you noticed you had also been restrained, glancing back to see Sky with his brows furrowed and lip upturned as he watched the scene- your eyes making contact made you shrink in guilt.
‘....That had been an over reaction.’ He hadn’t even said that to you but why would he even say that about his friends in the first place?
“Take a walk- all of you!” Time’s hand had moved to hold the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I cannot handle the sight of any of you!”
Legend roughly fought his way out of Warriors’ grip to stomp away, the captain very close behind him. Wild and Hyrule had similar reactions, stalking off in a different direction with Hyrule quickly grasping your wrist with a gentle touch once Sky had finally released you, pulling you away from the scene and disappearing into the surrounding wooded area as the complaints began to spill from their mouths.
So much for trying not to split the group.
----------
The next morning was quiet.
Way too quiet.
The guilt ate at your stomach from the silence, keeping your head focused on the food currently sitting on your plate to not see the obvious tension on everyone’s face. The sudden brawl (if you could even call that embarrassment a brawl) last night had left everything strained, a horrible stillness over everyone once you had returned with no more words exchanged except for nervous goodnights from those like Sky and Four- you really hadn’t meant to cause something like this but here you were it seemed.
Legend hadn’t glanced at you once which you were honestly more thankful for. Having an enraged glare on you after everything would have only made you feel worse, especially with the belief that you were the one to go overboard the evening prior. You really just weren’t in the mood to have his acknowledgment over your shoulders with everything else.
Getting ready was a little more eventful, quiet chattering amongst the men as they gathered all their belongings to stuff them away for travel. You stood away with Gilda sat on your shoulder, leaning against the side of Epona who playfully nipped at your hood, her huffs shaking the piece of fabric laid over your head- it wasn’t exactly raining but the clouds certainly did not look good in those dark shades of grey.
You wanted to help pack up but the fear of the men’s anger overshadowed your want to help, merely keeping your head down while waiting patiently until finally everyone had their things gathered and once again you were on the road.
The settlers had waved you off from a distance, some wishing good luck while others stayed silent as the view of Hyrule Castle got smaller and smaller the more you walked, following the path Eastward that held Hebra Peak just on the horizon. You had no real idea where exactly you were all headed but you prayed to the heavens that if you were to somehow end up walking towards the beauty that was Rito Village that you would have the chance to speak with the amazing musician, Kass.
Man, that would have been cool.
Your heart dropped a little when instead of following the path your group broke from the stone trail and began to tread the grassy plains of Hyrule Field, the visual of Central Tower an hour or so ahead.
Something looked off though, your eyes narrowing to catch the sight of small movement and splodges of brown that seemed to encase the entire thing, working its way down the tall, slim Sheikah device and disappearing behind the hills that laid before you.
Wind had slowed down to meet your pace.
“Ya know-” He started, seemingly nonchalantly, face folding with a familiar cheeky grin as he looked up at you. “That was a good punch.”
You blinked and from behind you Twilight let out a grunt. “Sailor, knock it off.”
“I’m just saying!” His hands flew out, showing he meant no harm. “Listen, the Vet ain’t got the same strength as the ranch-hand but he’s got the resolve of a hero and we don’t go down easy! You nearly knocked him on his arse!”
Taking a glance to the front of the group you could see Legend glance back with a scowl and quickly moved your gaze when you nearly locked eyes. “I just surprised him.”
“Nu-uh.” Wind’s arms crossed with an even more evil smirk. “If I talked shit all the time I would learn to expect to get fists thrown at me- actually, I already do-”
Warriors came to yank Wind’s head towards him, gloved hand moving to cover the boy’s loud mouth as he let out muffled cries of frustration and tried desperately to rip off the older man’s palm.
“Maybe we need to sew your mouth shut, pirate.” He raised an eyebrow towards the smaller blonde when you noticed his mouth moved- “You licking me will do nothing.”
You tried to hide your smile.
“I will say though- I think it’s high time we gave you a weapon.” Finally releasing the youngest hero the Captain clapped his hand on your shoulder, shaking off his spit covered hand behind him. “And we'll teach you how to fight- that first.”
Your heart dropped- fighting? Like going up against actual monsters? ….Had your heart just stopped?
Wild and Hyrule exchanged a look at your haunted expression. “Maybe we should give it a while-”
“Learning now would be best if (Name) will be joining us indefinitely.” Squeezing your shoulder gently, he finally released his hold. “I know for some who have not held a blade before it would be a daunting thing to achieve but you will be learning from the best, I assure you- and we will not throw you into conflict by your lonesome- uh.”
When his expression curdled into something awkward you couldn’t help the laugh, your hand coming to rest over your stomach as you belted out a belly laugh that only made your companions sweat- the sudden foreboding feeling now replaced with comical mirth at the sight of Warriors’ face.
“You look like you sucked on a fucking lemon! AHAHA-”
So the handsome man could fumble- that was good to know.
----------
Scaffolding. It had been scaffolding around Central Tower- tall and honestly intimidating as it encased the Sheikah construct while fellow Sheikah and Hylian folk seemed to….tear the build apart.
Huh?
Scurrying, they used unknown tools to yank and pull the contraption apart. While the tower’s platform still remained it would only take a few more working men for it to leave the once intricate monolith to an intimidatingly tall spike within the surface of Hyrule’s great field. How sad…and here you thought that maybe you’d be able to try climbing one to experience just what Wild had to go through each time you hauled his arse up those things.
You wouldn’t have lasted getting a foot off the ground- nevermind a 100 feet-
“‘scuse me!” You side-stepped carefully, watching some more tradies walk past with the massive dripstone that bore the Sheikah mark over their shoulders- casket style. “Thank you!”
You heard the subtle whispers of Sheikah craft, the eye flashing a soft blue before it fell silent once again as the men hauled the abnormal tech towards a reinforced wagon bearing two horses.
“What are these guys doing?”
Wild’s eyebrows pinched, “I’m not quite sure.”
The Chain shared similar quizzical expressions, unsure of what to say. It seemed none of them had heard of the news, nor did they understand what was happening, but that was no surprise really, after all Wind had told you not much had happened in those months they were stuck in Hateno. Sure, Wild would teleport them here and there for updates but they preferred to leave the younger man’s timeline’s business to him- and if he had no such idea as to what was going on then why would the rest?
You saw Time open his mouth-
“LINK!? IS THAT YOU DOWN THERE!?”
Boisterous yet far, the whole group glanced around at the mention of their name before finally glancing up at the tip top of the tower, noticing a small head of white hair leaned far off the monument. Their body leaned forward so only the tip of their toes touched the edge (a petrified looking Sheikah holding desperately onto their form) as they tried to get a closer look towards the blonde just by your side. 
Hold on…was that?
Wild placed a hand over the arch of his brows, squinting. “Is that you, Robbie?”
The mad scientist laughed, an old man's cackle that echoed around the surrounding field. “Perfect!! Just the hero I wanted to see!!”
After a few minutes of frantic running with Jerrin, his wife, following after, demanding he slowed down lest he died on this scaffolding from hell until finally he was with your group. Poor old Jerrin looked wiped, panting up a storm while still hunched over from her sprint down the not so safe looking staircase while Robbie greeted you all brightly.
Throwing you his famous pointed pose with a dazzling little smile.
…did you just hear a guitar riff?
“What are you doing here, Robbie?”
The scientist leapt back into a normal position, smile still plastered as a conversation brewed- you quickly tuned it out as you glanced around. Similar to most of the Champion’s land, rubble and ruin surrounded you in the form of crumbling stone. This was once a great structure, you could tell, intricate and great as it stood tall- a church? A baron’s home? A noble’s? The stone beneath your feet bloomed stray strands of grass as nature slowly swallowed this great building and returned the stone to its rightful place, the soil below.
“-you!” You yelped when something was thrust in your face, pressed lightly against your nose from the apparent height difference between you and Robbie as he addressed your figure. “What’s your name!?”
“(Name)!”
“Just who Purah described- come! I want to see about those marks of yours.” The old man began to waddle towards a tent in the far corner of the yard, feet fast despite his old stature before he turned towards you, still frozen in surprise. “Come on then!”
Ah, great- once again prodded by scientists.
----------
“An interesting find indeed.” Robbie’s eye was massive within the magnifying glass, staring right back into your own Sheikah infested pupil for proof for the mad theories his mind had conjured. What did he search for? You had no clue but you did know that if he snapped some weird contraption at you again you would start biting.
And you bit hard.
Some people knew that from experience.
“And you say that you actually stasised the monster, correct?” You leaned back when he leaned forward.
“That’s right.” Pressing a hand against the tool, you pushed the older man back into his seat in an effort to gain your personal space back, and in a victorious moment he finally caved. Placing down his instrument while he tapped his chin in interest and muttered some words you couldn’t quite catch before he turned away to scribble down something into a notepad behind him. 
A mirror just by your hand showed that the ghostly yellow had fully taken over, sclera finally enveloped with your pupil a more pastel in the sea of lemon gold. You wondered how odd you looked to passersby with the magic that swirled, you wondered if it was hard for the others to sleep with the bright horrid glow that came from your person- god you’d probably have to start covering that up.
“Got any ideas for us, Robbie?” Wild asked from the corner, sat with Hyrule and the three other eldest as they waited patiently for the scientist’s upcoming ramble.
“Well...” Building up an atmosphere was probably something this man seemed to love, jumping off his tall stool as he placed hands on his waist and waited patiently for everyone’s attention. The heroes, of course, grew intrigued by the silence, their curiosity singing as they all leaned in for the old man’s news.
Robbie’s hands moved up with his shrug. “I got nothing.”
Silence.
Warriors sighed. Twilight sighed. Time sighed heavily, dragging a hand down his face. “Is that it?”
“Your guess is as good as mine! I’m an alchemist- not a doctor!” Robbie grumbled, crossing his arms. “Sheikah magic has always been an odd magic, but this is unheard of! Taking refuge in someone’s eye- you’re better off to ask the goddesses how such a thing could occur!”
Another dead end- the roots of knowledge only decayed further and further in the soil of the unknown. The measly plant that you had dubbed your mind withered the longer you thought about how exactly you were supposed to get answers for this. Would Hylia be your best bet? Would she even answer? Gag, the thought of getting on your knees to pray only made your stomach churn from both the anxiety and the scenario- if she were to answer, how could your mind cope with the knowledge that such a higher being actually existed? And if she didn’t? Well then you’d just be a tart kneeling before a statue in another universe.
You’d rather shit in your hands and clap.
“I guess there is one thing we could try! Or maybe two.”
The Purah Pad was a tool that Robbie had created using the scrap of existing Sheikah tech and the ruins of Guardians strewn across the land. Similar to the Sheikah slate in a certain way, it didn’t carry as much power as Wild’s important tool but still allowed things like teleporting and communication between others- like him and Purah, of course. Nifty little device it was, quieter than the Sheikah slate as the magic whispered and twitched, voices of hundreds rather than thousands harmonised as Robbie slapped his hand against his desk to reach for it and lay it gently in your hands.
“So!” The old man watched you, “You feel anything?”
Your eyes stayed focused on it for a few moments, then you slowly shook your head. “Not really…it’s just…talking.”
“Hmmm….” Robbie held his chin, tapping a finger against his cheek before he clicked his finger. “Ah! Come now.”
You followed the scientist outside: first, like a shadow, Hyrule close to your side along with your second, Wild, following behind. The eldest trio didn’t look too sure as to what was about to happen, abandoning the tools within his workshop to the open world outside his tent as the small man led you over to the Sheikah stone that you had passed earlier.
“If the pad is too quiet, I’m sure the slate is the same- so why don’t we try something bigger.” Patting the vacant object, he grinned. “Go ahead and touch it.”
The remainder of the Chain, who had scattered to explore the small area or simply rest watched with an interest as you stared at the grey eye, void of magic. “It’s not even on.”
“And you currently have its magic flowing through your veins- something could happen, but only if you try.”
That was a good point- but what would happen if you did that? Schrodinger’s cat, both dead or alive until someone opened the box. Was the Sheikah stone the cat and you, the unfortunate soul to open the box? The one to see the ending result, no matter how pretty or ugly such a thing turned out to be- this wasn’t something you wanted. You remembered the screaming of the teleportation magic when Wild had teleported you to the tip of the Dueling Peaks, loud and irritating. Though it did not compare to the pain of that day back in Purah’s lab.
Your mind had blocked out those memories for your own good.
“You don’t have to do it.” Hyrule said quietly upon seeing your hesitation. “Don’t push yourself for our sakes- I’m sure we’ll know soon enough.”
Wild seconded that motion along with Twilight. Warriors gave you a friendly smile and Time nodded his head in a similar understanding. The man had learned it was not his place to push.
But…there were answers that you needed. Why did this mark now paint your skin? Why did its magic flow through your veins? So many questions with so little answers, the longer your eyes glared back into the mark of the Sheikah etched into the stone, you wondered if maybe you could finally understand.
When a hand came to hold your free one you paused, looking down to see Wind’s face. “I got ya in case anything weird happens.”
It took a moment before you were able to smile. “Thanks, little man.”
You ruffled his hair and he playfully smacked at your hands.
People around waited with bated breaths, the other tradesmen also stopped their relentless work to watch in interest as your hand hovered lightly over the rock’s smooth surface. 
Was this a remedy to the unknown or another deep dive into a world of pain? Back at Purah’s lab was certainly agonising, a brutal hit to your seemingly weak body as such a devastating power possessed you- would you really be reduced into a spasming mess on the floor once more? Your brain pounded in sync with the nervous churn of your stomach at the mere thought, hand shaking from strain. 
You would never really know until you tried, right? Many theorists risked their own lives for answers that lay just beyond your reach, but then again some even sacrificed others for their own self preservation. Were you the theorist or the sacrifice in this moment? Hell, were you even a thought to the people you stood amongst?
“...”
You pressed your hand against the stone.
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