#i hope she’ll able to have a song as *herself* one day..

[deus-ex-mona]

when you say you’re happy being by yourself

but maybe that’s just what you’re trying to convince yourself of…?

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + fifteen

authors note: next chapter will be a lot heavier, because we see shit play out. italicized dialogue indicates that spanish is being spoken.

ya'll better not come for me after this one either, okay! 😭

just know the plot is plotting, ya'll

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, angst, roman being a dick to anyone other than his wife, and violence

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 10k

The newly opened doors of intimacy have awakened a previously dormant part of Solana.

Something she previously thought impossible to access, permanently damaged as a result of her trauma.

But, she was wrong. 

So, so wrong.

Roman is everything she never allowed herself to dream about having, let alone actually hoped to have in real life.

Caring, considerate, gentle, patient.

Their first time together is something she’ll never forget and always cherish. But, it’s the times afterwards, sporadic over the past two days since the consummation, that have almost meant something more.

A testament to her comfort and trust in him.

Of her love for him.

Sitting in bed, in between his legs, leaning into his strong body with nothing but the thin 600 thread count sheets covering them, Solana sketches, no particular drawing in mind, just whatever is felt in that moment. And what’s felt is the image and scenery of the water, of the beauty that is Isla Mujeres. Her mom was right. There’s nothing like it.

“I think—I think I want to come back here sooner rather than later.” Solana finds herself partially wondering aloud but also wanting to pick her husband’s brain. “I know you probably won’t be able to come, and that’s okay. Maybe…maybe Bayley can come with me?” It’s both a suggestion and a question. 

Roman makes a sound against her, his lips lingering along her temple, long fingers moving gently against the side of her breast under the sheets. “Whatever you want, I’ll make happen. Bayley will go with you.”

Solana chews on her bottom lip, shading a palm tree. “But, what if she has plans?”

“She will. Plans to go with you.”

A small smile falls on her face. “How do you know she’ll just agree with you?” Solana has an idea of what he’s going to say, and she’s correct. 

“People do what I tell them to do, and if they don’t, they face the consequences. And no one wants that, so they just do it.” 

She doesn’t doubt that one bit. Because no matter how sweet and caring he is to her, that’s where it stops. With her.

Because to anyone and everyone else, he’s Roman Reigns, ruthless, brutal leader of the Bloodline.

And she’s accepted that. Accepted that he has to juggle two different hats.

She’s just happy she gets the best of him.

“I Facetime’d Naomi today and got to see Dulce.” As much fun as she’s having, as healing as this trip has been for her, she misses her sweet puppy deeply. “Guess who’s taken to her?”

Roman chuckles, looking back with a bit of shock. “Jimmy?”

Solana nods, grinning as she remembers overhearing Jimmy ask about where ‘fluff fluff’ is. “Naomi says he’s even got her sleeping in the bed with them.”

“Well, she damn sure ain’t doing that with us.” His voice takes on an authoritative tone. Not that she’s in disagreement. Dulce is too small for that. Roman would literally smother her. “Our bed is occupied.” He ghosts his lips over the shell of her earlobe. “Gonna be real busy when we get back home….”

Solana tries instead to focus on the drawing at hand versus that familiar feeling pooling in her stomach. 

Continuing with the topic in the hopes of settling that feeling, she shares, “I want to do something nice for Naomi and Bayley when we get back. They’ve—they’ve been so nice to me.”

It’s something she’s been thinking about ever since the beautiful birthday messages she’s received. Having never really had many friends, to be able to land such solid, loyal people like them is something she doesn’t take lightly. She doesn’t know quite yet how she wants to show her appreciation, but she’s determined to come up with something.

An idea crossing her mind, Solana suggests, “maybe they both can come stay here with me for a week?”

His mouth moves back to the side of her face. “Mmmhmm.”

“Like…..like a girls trip.” Solana has never experienced one of those and just the thought of having one with the two of them has pre-excitement already forming.

Roman sighs, clearly distracted by his lips exploring her face. “Whatever you want, baby.”

Turning her head to the side to look up at him, small smile on her face, Solana asks, “are you listening to me?”

Roman hums against her skin. “I’m always listening to you, Solana.” Her eyes flutter as his fingers shift and move under the generous swell of her breast. “Probably the only person that’s the case for…..” His mouth moves to her cheek. “But, it’s hard to focus with you naked like this…..”

The pencil in her hand naturally drops against the sketchbook, her head lolling backwards, lips pressing together. “Roman….” 

This is such a new experience. She’s never desired to be touched or craved such intimacy until Roman. Even with her trauma, there’s a pull that seems to have been unleashed with the consummation of her marriage.

An urge that has her thighs pressing together, something Roman most definitely takes note of. Eyes darkening with lust and something else, he asks, voice almost hoarse, “are you sore?”

She is, but not nearly as sore as she was after their first time. And certainly not to the point where she wants to decline.

“No,” is the answer she settles on, Roman’s lips on hers in a matter of seconds. She shifts her body so she’s straddling him, the feeling of him hard and warm between her legs making her moan in his mouth. Roman easily switches positions so she’s on her back, him hovering over her. 

He breaks the kiss, asking once more, “you sure?”

Solana licks her lips, forever thankful for his constant efforts to receive her consent. “Yes.”

His eyes burn with need. “Could be inside you like this all day….” He brings his hand to the back of her thigh, lifting her leg and opening her up more as he gradually descends into her slick warmth. “And definitely all night….”

Solana would be lying if she said she didn’t feel somewhat of the same way.

________

She wakes up with a growing familiar ache between her legs, soft sheets against her nude body, and her husband pressed against her, his arm draped over her, holding her close to him.

But, he’s not sleeping. She can feel his mouth hovering over her shoulder. Her smile grows a bit as she thinks about their last lovemaking session, so passionate and fulfilling. Another round of him giving her pleasure she didn’t think possible.

However, it’s when she glances at the clock and sees the time, her eyes widen a bit from the shock. “Roman, it’s almost 2 o’clock….”

He’s never been more uninterested. “And?” Lips traveling the length of her arm, he murmurs against her smooth skin. “You’d never leave this bed if it was up to me….”

His statement, half joking, half serious, makes her smile, but it also helps her realize she has to be a bit more outspoken about what she wants.

Holding the sheet against her chest, she rolls onto her back, informing, “I want to go out to the marketplace today.”

He scowls. “Around people?” 

“Yes, people.” She giggles, moving her hand to his face, beard tickling her palm. “We only have two more days here. I want to bring back gifts for Naomi, Bayley, and your cousins”

It’s the mention of the twins that makes him roll his eyes as he falls back into the mattress. “You always trying to take care of the homeless.”

Solana giggles, hovering over him, hand on his chest. “That’s so mean, Roman. They’re not homeless.”

“Then why the hell are they always at our house?”

She shakes her head, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “I’m gonna go get ready.” 

He doesn’t try to stop her, doesn’t prevent her from leaving the bed and doing just that.

And in less than two hours, both showered, fed, and dressed, they’re out of the house and on their way to the market.

Adolfo López Mateos is the municipal market and offers a trove of items for Solana to pick from. Countless authentic options for her to bring back home as gifts but also as souvenirs for herself, reminders of this wonderful place that will forever hold such beautiful memories for her.

A place that also leaves her feeling so connected to her maternal side. 

To her mother.

Roman serves as the quiet, always surveying husband who remains by her side the whole time as she goes from stall to stall. He serves as her personal shopping assistant as well, holding the growing number of bags for her purchases.

But, he handles it exceptionally well, never once complaining. Granted, she is mindful of the fact that the crowded market and all of the fellow shoppers and merchants seem to well exceed his tolerance for people in general.

So, she does make note to try to wrap it up sooner rather than later.

She’d never want to take advantage of his kindness and generosity.

Solana is at a stall looking at fabric when stiffening beside her drags her attention to her husband as well as what’s caused him to tense. 

A child.

A little girl. Around 8 or 9. She has dark hair that’s down and unruly, the light breeze in the market causing it to splash against her tanned face, hazel eyes landed directly on Roman. Her hand is outreached, a flower in hand. 

Solana recognizes it rather quickly. She steps forward, asking in Spanish, “is that for him?”

The little girl looks over and nods, directing her gaze back on Roman. Solana does the same, small smile on her face as she informs. “She’s giving it to you.” 

His expression is unchanged as he asks. “Why?”

Solana giggles. “It’s an Alstroemeria. They represent friendship.”

“This random ass kid wants to be my friend?”

Solana rolls her eyes. “She’s being friendly.” Seeing Roman has no intentions on further acknowledging this child, she gently shoves him. “Please?” The ‘for me?’ doesn’t need to be asked as Roman sighs loudly and accepts the flower followed up with a muttered ‘thanks.’

Pleased, the little girl beams, suddenly motioning both Roman and Solana to follow her.

Curious, Solana asks, “you want us to come?” 

She nods excitedly, pointing a few stalls down to where flowers bloom. Solana asks, “That’s where you got these from? You want us to see the rest?”

Another nod, and Solana finds herself following the child, Roman begrudgingly on the heel of her, committed to his not allowing her to explore a stretch of land or sea on this trip without him being right there next to her.

Even if it means forced socialization. 

Solana allows the child to guide them to the stall that’s filled with the most beautiful, intricate flowers she’s ever seen, some of which she recognizes from conversations with her mom.

“Look how beautiful…..” Her eyes land on the powder pink ones, a brief realization setting in as she asks the little girl, “are these sword lily’s?” 

Again, the child offers only a nonverbal acknowledgement via a head nod, and Solana starts to wonder if her silence is by choice or limitation. Either one, she can kind of relate to. 

Turning to Roman, Solana explains to him, “these are sword lilly’s. They represent sympathy and memories.” Memories…Solana has plenty of those. The good, to some extent, starting to outweigh the bad.

He looks more uninterested than the actual tone of his voice. “Do all Mexican flowers have some sort of meaning?”

“Some. Not all.” She answers, fingers gliding over the petals. “And it’s not always flowers native to Mexico, just flowers that we have meaning attributions for. Culturally.”

“You are correct.” A voice enters the conversation, Solana watching a woman step out back from behind the stall. Her hair is a deep onyx, thick and wavy, her skin lightly kissed by the sun that also highlights the beauty of her eyes. Fine lines give away that she has some years under her belt, but it’s hard to tell just how many. She switches languages, “You don’t speak Spanish like a tourist.”

Solana realizes she must have overheard her asking the girls about the flowers. “My—my mother was a Native.”

“She taught you well.” Her smile grows, warm and friendly, familiar in a weird sort of way. “What is your name, child?”

“Solana.” She gestures towards Roman who’s still looking just as uninterested as he’s been in any other type of social interaction outside of Solana. “This is my husband, Roman.”

“I figured.” She motions to Roman’s closeness to her, the way he stays almost hovering, protecting and caring but still pretty close. “He’s very protective of you.

Solana nods. She has no idea. “What is your name?”

“Paloma,” she introduces, removing one of her work gloves to shake Solana’s hand. The younger woman is slightly grateful that Paloma doesn’t try to greet Roman in the same manner. She’d surely get her feelings hurt. “What brings you here?

Again, a gesture to Roman with her thumb. “He surprised me for my birthday.”

Paloma makes a sound and smiles wryly. “Ahh, so it’s only others he’s unfriendly with.”

“He….he’s very quiet.” An ironic choice of words considering just who is saying them, but it’s the best word to come to mind to describe Roman without being mean. He is technically quiet, but the fact that it’s because he, in his own words, hates people isn’t necessarily something that needs to be shared. “Do you really grow all of these?”

“I do.” The proud smile on her face makes Solana smile just as warmly. “I own a nursery about twenty minutes out of here. A family business that my mother and her mother and her mother started generations ago.”

“That’s so beautiful.”

“It was….” The use of past tense causes Solana’s smile to dim a bit. She can sense there’s a story there, a story that no doubt holds some level of pain. Paloma shakes her head, gesturing to the flowers. “Were you wanting to buy any?”

“Uhhhh….” The technical answer is no. Solana would have probably stopped to admire the beautiful flowers, maybe tried to identify one or two, but it would not have gone beyond that. It’s the little girl who Solana realizes is behind the stand, poorly sneaking glances at Roman, who called them over. “Yes, I—”

“She brought you over, didn’t she?” 

“Yes.” Solana lowers her voice, asking as gently as she can. “Does she speak?”

“Yes, but she prefers not to. Very shy. Parents fight a lot. I don’t think she really gets a lot of space to talk.” And the frown is back. Solana can definitely understand that. “Do you two have plans tonight?”

“Uhhhh.” Solana turns to Roman, asking, “did you have anything else planned for us this evening?”

“If she’s trying to get us to do something around other people, yes. I’ll find something.”

Solana rolls her eyes, lightly scolding in her soft voice, “Roman, that’s not nice.”

“Solana, I’m pretty sure we had this conversation already. I don’t like people. I hate people. You’re the only one I like.”

Solana decides to win him over later versus now as she turns to Paloma with a friendly expression that contrasts her husband’s scowl. Something tells her he already knows she’s about to sign them up for something that forces him to be around people. 

“We’re free this evening. Why do you ask?”

________

“Tell me again why we’re meeting this random ass old woman for dinner?”

Solana is only seconds away from applying her lip gloss when Roman’s question deters her from her task, creating a new one in its place. Capping it, she walks out the bathroom, leaning against the doorway. “Her name is Paloma, and she’s really sweet, and she invited us.”

Turns out, Paloma owns one of the restaurants in town Solana remembers stumbling across when she was perusing other places to visit while on their trip. It’s just a crazy coincidence that Solana ended up running into her and receiving a personal invite to dine there for dinner this evening. 

And it’s an offer she didn’t want to turn down. 

“Are you sure she didn’t just invite you?”

Curious, she asks the question she’s almost certain she already knows the answer to. “Would you let me go by myself?”

“Hell no.”

“Exactly.” Walking over to Roman, Solana glides her hands up his chest, locking them behind his neck. “It’s just a dinner. We won’t even be there that long. Then…tomorrow, it’s just the two of us.”

“It could be the two of us tonight too….”

His fingers dance across the small of her back as she bites back a smile. “Roman, it’s been the two of us this entire trip already, basically….”

“You know I could never get enough of you…” He gently squeezes the sides of her stomach, sliding into reluctant acquiescence. “But, you know I can’t say no to you either so….”

She smiles and leans up and presses a kiss against his cheek, murmuring, “thank you.” Taking a bit of a mile with the inch she’s been given, she implores, “can you….try to be a little more friendly? For me?”

Roman looks at her like she just asked him to let her go alone. “Solana….”

“Just for tonight.”

“Do they even speak English?” She gives him a look that’s just another form of ‘for me?’ He tilts his head back and scratches his beard. “I’ll try not to maim or kill anybody. That’s the best you’re getting from me, baby.”

“Thank you.” She kisses him again, turning for the bathroom when he pulls her back to face him, and right away, she recognizes that look. “Roman….”

He ignores her, both casually and suggestively complimenting, “I like this dress.” It’s combined with him slowly moving one of the hands on her waist down the length of her dress until he can slip his hand underneath.

“T–thank you…” She swallows, struggling to stay focused. “We’re—we’re gonna be late.”

“Too bad.” He moves his hand between her legs, gradually sliding up her thighs. “Should have thought about that before you put this on.” He kisses her temple, asking in a low voice, “do you want me to stop?” At the same time, his hand pauses on her skin.

The logical answer is yes, but the carnal answer is the complete opposite. And desire seems to overpower logic in this round. “N–no.”

It’s the perfect answer for her husband whose full lips form into a smirk as he removes his hand to guide her towards the bed as he lays her on her back. Solana half expects him to move on top of her, but he instead moves to his knees and tugs her toward the edge of the bed.

The anticipation of what pleasure is to come makes her lick her lips, prematurely moaning his name, “Roman…”

His brown eyes flick up to her, desire and lust dancing away in his irises. 

Yeah, they’re most definitely going to be late.

________

The night goes as expected, Solana enjoying herself, and Roman enjoying that his wife is enjoying herself despite the fact that being surrounded by a bunch of fucking strangers who speak mostly in Spanish has him subtly checking the time on his watch more often than not.

The desire to pick up the language grows exponentially. Roman dislikes being out of the loop in any sort of capacity.

Solana translates for the most part, granted it’s mostly things he doesn’t really care too much about. Paloma asking what he thought about the food, requests to join in the dancing—that’s a hell no—and other pleasantries that violate his religion of Anti-Peopleology. 

Except his wife, of course.

And to be fair, they’re able to share their dinner together without many interruptions, conversation staying between the two of them, which he appreciates. He’d appreciate it more if no one was there to interrupt, but alas, Solana having a smile on her face almost the whole night makes it all worth it.

She seems exceptionally taken with the little random ass girl from the market whose name he doesn’t bother to remember. Something with an A, he’d guess. She also seems just as interested in Solana, which he doesn’t entirely not understand. She’s relatively mute with the exception of a couple of words and sentences.

It reminds him of Solana and how nonverbal she was at the beginning of the marriage. And something tells him the girl also reminds her of herself. Which makes the pull between the two make more sense than maybe he’d like to admit.

But, his inner dialogue is interrupted as the old lady approaches the table where he sits alone as Solana dances with the child, both of them smiling and laughing. 

“You’re not the social one of the two of you, are you?” She asks what he considers both a stupid and ironic question. Typically, Solana isn’t this social either. But this….this place….it seems to bring out a different side of her.

A happier side of her.

Roman only casts the old woman a bored glance. “This is her world. Not mine.”

The woman chuckles, and to Roman’s chagrin, sits down in the chair opposite of him. “Yes, I suppose this is very different from the Bloodline.”

Her statement doesn’t surprise him, doesn’t take him off guard, and that’s because Roman isn’t stupid. He would never allow some practical stranger to invite his wife for dinner at a restaurant she owns without researching her. 

Paloma Aguilar. 70. Widowed. One child who seemingly disappeared without a trace over twenty years ago. Her late husband, Ricardo, was a man who at one point entered the world of the cartel and smuggling, but it was short lived as he passed away from a heart attack at the age of 45. His brother, however, Tomas, is still actively involved, but Paloma couldn’t be farther removed.

From his research, Roman could see she truly prefers to live her life away from the in-laws business, preferring her restaurant and gardening, the polar opposite of the high-paced crime life. 

But, it would be ludicrous for her to not be aware of him and who he is, regardless of her preference to stay separate from that life.

Curious, though he already knows the answer, he asks, “when did you realize who I was?”

She smiles, “soon enough.” The lack of specificity annoys him even more than he already is. “Probably around the time you found out who I am.”

Interested to see how she’ll respond, he asks, “and just who are you?”

Her smile is small and sad. “Just an old woman living out the rest of her days in solitude.” Roman has experienced enough loss to be able to recognize when someone else has also had the misfortune of losing someone. It’s evident in her tone. 

Still, that doesn't diminish his disinterest in this conversation.

She also looks over at his dancing wife, casually commenting, “I suppose it’s true that opposites attract.”

Eager to stir this woman away, Roman responds with all the casualness. “I’m not Solana. You could be 90, and I’d still snap your fucking neck if you presented any kind of threat to my wife.”

It’s uncalled for. He knows this. A misplaced threat against an elderly woman, sure. But, it’ll hopefully be enough to get her to leave him the fuck alone. 

She smiles, partially surprising him. “Oh, I don’t doubt it, young man.” Her grin dims a bit. “I would never judge a man for protecting the woman he loves.”

Roman tenses, effectively managing to keep his reaction to her statement to himself.

Love

What the fuck is that even?

He knows…..familial love. But….romantic love? 

That’s….that’s such an unfamiliar concept. Something not even in his repertoire. 

He can’t deny that he likes Solana. A lot. Cares for her deeply, and recognizes that he needs her in his life. Needs her light in what is otherwise dark and dreary.

But…..

To say that he loves her….that’s too much. That’s too strong.

Too dangerous.

Love is weakness.

And Roman can’t afford to be weak. He won’t. Not for anything or anyone. 

Not even Solana.

But, of course, this old ass woman just has to twist the knife even deeper as she stands up to leave. “You two will make great parents.” Roman is an expert at hiding reactions to what’s being said to him, but this one takes some effort. A lot, if he’s being honest. “Your protectiveness. Her nurturance.”

With that, she finally leaves him be, but not without a million and one thoughts floating through his mind, all of them now revolving around two things he’s never considered for himself.

Love and children.

________

As the night comes to an end, Solana pulls Aurora, the sweet little girl who’s taken a liking to her and a crush on Roman, to the side. 

“I have something for you.”

Aurora’s eyes light up with all the excitement of a child eager to receive an unexpected present.

Solana hands over the beautiful journal she picked up in the market earlier that day. Originally a gift for herself, but now something that she wants to pass on to the little girl who reminds her so much of herself. 

Aurora’s mouth drops open with surprise as she accepts the leather journal. Solana smiles and explains, “When I was a little girl, I didn’t talk a lot either. But, my mom always told me that when I couldn’t speak, I could always write.” She frowns a bit, instructing. “And that’s what I did. I wrote until I found my voice. The same way you can.”

Aurora looks up with teary eyes and surprises Solana by attacking her with a big hug. Solana easily settles in the embrace, holding and hugging the little girl in a way that every child should be comforted.

Aurora pulls back and offers a simple, “thank you!”

Solana blinks back some tears. “You’re very welcome.” Her smile shifts into something teasing but also hopeful, “now I expect to see you when I come back to visit, okay?”

Aurora nods happily as she gives Solana one more hug before running over to an older woman who Solana would guess is her mother.

“She’ll never forget that, you know.” 

Turning to the source of the voice, Solana’s smile grows. “I hope not.”

Paoma chuckles and moves closer, repeating the same words. “I have something for you too.”

She pulls out a cloth jewelry bag and takes Solana’s hand, placing the bag in it. “Open it.”

Confused but curious, Solana does just that and gasps almost immediately at the beautiful gold necklace she recognizes instantly. “A Cruz de Caravaca.”

Paloma looks pleased by Solana’s knowledge and asks a follow up question. “How much do you know about these?”

Swallowing the emotion, she recalls the information taught to her so long ago. “They—they ward off evil and bring protection.” There’s an almost bitter tone that enters her voice. “My mother had one….” It’s the most Solana can bring herself to say, because her mother wore one almost religiously. And it did nothing to protect her from the evil of her father.

Or the knife that viciously tore and sliced through her body, violently ending her life. 

Paloma nods, complementing, “whoever taught you our ways taught you well.” 

Emotion burning the back of the throat, “it was my mom. She—she died when I was young.” Murdered. She was murdered, but acknowledging that feels too much, is too much. Regardless of how her life ended, it all means the same.

That she’s not here anymore.

Paloma’s expression is solemn as she lifts her right arm, turning it inward, revealing her tattoos. Two Hummingbirds. “Many years ago, I lost my daughter. And shortly after, my husband. I—I didn’t really know how to go on after that. She was my only child, and he was the only man I ever loved.” Her smile is emotional. “But then I remember that love never dies, it transcends into another form. They’re not here in the way I want them to be, but they’re still here. And every so often when I’m in my garden, I see Hummingbirds, and I feel better because I know they’re still with me. Watching over me.” 

Solana wipes at her eyes as Paloma places a comforting hand on her arm. “And so is your mother.”

It’s hard to verbalize what she’s feeling in this moment. Paloma’s words provide her with a type of comfort that feels almost motherly, an ironic feeling considering the nature of the conversation.

“Thank you.” It’s such a simple thing that doesn’t feel strong enough for how much Solana appreciates such comforting words of support. 

“You have a good heart. A kind soul. But, be careful child.” She takes Solana’s hands in her own. “My….my daughter was like you. Loving and giving. But too trusting, and it cost her her life. Betrayal and darkness can come from where you least expect it.” 

Paloma’s words confuse her. The warning aspect of it. What…what exactly does that mean?

“Stick with that husband of yours….” Paloma adds, smile gradually returning. “He is protective of you the way my husband used to be with me.” 

That ebbs away some of her confusion regarding the ominous warning, as Solana suddenly asks, almost tentatively. “Could I….could I come back and see you too?”

Paloma chuckles, and Solana almost swears she sees emotion brewing behind the woman’s wise gaze as she pulls her in for a hug.

“I’d be offended if you didn’t, child….”

________

He’s not entirely surprised to find her in the kitchen, but that doesn’t necessarily make her presence in the kitchen any less concerning. Especially when she’s supposed to be on bedrest.

Roman comes up behind her, smiling when she jumps a bit as he hugs her. Years later, some things remain the same. 

Solana turns around, a warm smile on her pretty face. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.” Not necessarily. He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to find it in him to be sorry for touching his wife.“Hi.”

“Hi.” She giggles as he kisses her. 

Eyes shutting a bit as he relishes in the feeling he’s craved dearly for the past few weeks. “I missed you all.”

“We missed you too,” she murmurs, moving her hands up his chest. “You look tired.”

He’s a bit jet lagged, but it’s nothing he won’t bounce back from in a couple of days. That’s the least of his concern, anyway. Roman moves his hand to her stomach, big and swollen, pressing against his abs. “You should be resting.”

Solana rolls her eyes and calmly counters, “not with how active this one is.” She moves his hand around, probably trying to find a spot where he can feel the movement. “He’s definitely your son.”

He counters, “even more reason to be resting.” 

She shakes her head, changing the subject a bit as she softly shares, “they’ll be happy to see you. I didn’t tell them you were coming home early.”

His eyes light up a bit as he asks, “where are they?”

Solana chuckles. “You already know.”

Roman makes a sound and nods, murmuring with a final kiss to her temple, “I’ll be back.” 

He walks out of the kitchen and into the hall, moving to the back of the house.

Two separate rooms, directly across from one another, each providing a variety of different activities and spaces. Most completely opposite one another. Expected, given their staunchly different personalities.

There’s no active decision regarding which room he walks in first, no specific desire to see or interact with one over the other. He just so happens to venture left vs right. 

And sure enough, as predicted, she sits at the table, so small but perfect for her. She’s focused on the paper in front of her and crayon in her hand. So focused to the point where she misses his entrance, doesn’t overhear his footsteps until he’s only a few feet away from her.

But when she does, big brown eyes landing on him, eyes that are exact replicas of her mothers, the crayon is dropped and the smile is out. She jumps up from the seat and runs over to him, Roman leaning down just in time to catch her hug, an instant ease washing over him, deeper than what’s allotted even with his wife.

This is something different, something deeper, something he still doesn’t quite know or believe he deserves to feel. But nevertheless, it’s present, it’s felt, and it’s wonderful.

When she pulls away, he finds himself pushing back some of her curls, light and fluffy, framing her face that’s the perfect combination of himself and Solana. “I missed you…” Her smile grows as he asks, eyes narrowed a bit. “Were you a good girl for your mom while I was gone?” She nods excitedly and reaches for his hand, Roman standing as she guides him over to the table where she was drawing. Roman crouches back down as she shares her artwork, an in-progress photo of the ocean, most likely scenery she’s memorized from one of their many trips to Isla Mujeres. “Is this what you’re working on?” Again, another nod as she points between the drawing and him. He points to himself. “Is this gonna be for me?”

Instead of the expected no, she answers in her voice, so soft and light. “I’m sorry it wasn’t done in time….”

A small smile grows on his face. She’s very much unlike her sister, of very few words. So much so that Roman insisted he and Solana discuss her quietness with the pediatrician to make sure nothing was wrong. And of course, nothing was. It’s just that she inherited quite literally Solana’s entire disposition. Quiet with a great big heart that seems too pure for this world.

And, unfortunately, a tendency to apologize when unnecessary.

“It’s perfect, sweetheart.” His praise seems to bring back her smile as he kisses her forehead. “Fa'afetai tele.”

She matches his smile, surprising him yet again with more spoken words vs non verbals. “E le afaina.” 

Standing back up, he informs, “I’m gonna go see your sister. Can you go help mom finish cooking dinner?” He knows Solana is almost done, if not already, but Roman also knows that personality and disposition weren’t the only things inherited. So were passions and interests, hence the drawing.

And cooking, judging by the way her eyes light up as she dashes out the room to play assistant.

Roman chuckles and walks out, hitting the switch as he moves across the hall, once again unsurprised by what he finds. She’s going at it with the freestanding punching bag, kicks that are pretty impressive considering her age. Her face is scrunched up in determination, the same face as her sisters yet so different. 

Where one is soft and quiet, the other is loud and bold. One is timid, the other adventurous. One is Solana, but this one….she’s her father’s daughter, through and through. Bold and fearless. 

“Don’t forget to point your toes.”

His deep voice breaks through her concentration as she whips her head to the side, a reaction similar to her twin sister. A huge smile breaks through that impressive focus.

“Daddy!”

Again, he moves to one knee to catch her for a hug, tight and heartwarming. She pulls back almost immediately, asking with all the excitement. “Did you see me?”

“I sure did.” He comments on what’s more than obvious. “you’ve been practicing.”

She nods with just as much excitement. “Aunt Bayley and Aunt Naomi said I’m really good!”

“You are.” He wouldn’t lie to her. She is. But, he also knows it’s because this is her passion. Where her sister finds joy in art and books, she gets that joy from movement, from fighting, her gravitation towards martial arts happening at such a young age. 

“I’m gonna be better than you!” He chuckles. At not even a fraction of his age, she already is. And it has nothing to do with her natural fighting abilities. 

“We’ll see.”

“I am!” She affirms, so determined and focused. “I’m gonna wear the ula fala and be Tribal Chief just like you, daddy!”

Roman does his best to keep that small ounce of concern hidden and tucked away. Young. She’s too young to know just what she’s asking for, the weight that comes with what he does, the truth about what and who he is.

It’s been the decision of both himself and Solana to shield the girls from it. The truth of it all. For now. As long as they can, at least. But the girls aren’t dumb either, they know he holds a high rank, one of the highest, in his family.

And his spitfire of a daughter seems determined to do the exact same.

“Cousin Jamar was saying I can’t cause I’m a girl, but I told him he’s just a stupid boy and I’m way smarter anyway.”

Roman’s eyes narrow slightly as asks the question he already knows the answer to. “And you hit him too, didn’t you?”

Even when he has to be away from home, Solana makes sure to keep him informed of all happenings with the girls, especially this one who’s already gotten in trouble a couple of times at school for her mouth.

And fist.

Her eyes drop as she pouts slightly, murmuring, “he made me mad….” His temper. She definitely has inherited that too. “No one talks about me, you, mommy, sissy or my new baby brother, or I’ll punch them in their face.”

This is the part where Roman struggles, where he tries his best to tap into that part of him that feels so unfamiliar. Because his initial response is that she did nothing wrong, that she’s doing exactly what she’s entitled to.

Protecting her family and standing up for what she believes is right. 

“It’s important to know when to fight, and it’s a lot harder not to sometimes.” That’s the best he can come up with in the moment to not necessarily let her know he doesn’t see much of an issue with her behavior. “I’ll teach you.”

Her eyes light up with excitement. “I get to train with you?” A request she’s had for at least the past two years, Roman pushing it off and allowing Bayley and Naomi to help her because his level of training is far too intense for her young age.

But

That doesn’t mean he can’t modify his approach a bit. 

“Yes!” She jumps up and down, hugging him, another small smile on Roman’s face. Some kids like to play dolls, like his other daughter, but this one….this one lives for a good fight.

And speaking of, the calmer of the two of them coming running into the room, Roman turning just in time as she smiles and tugs on his shirt, motioning for them to follow her.

“Is dinner ready?” Learning to understand her even with the absence of speech has come second nature for all of them. 

She nods, as the other one breaks the hug with Roman, asking her twin with all the excitement and competitiveness. “Wanna race?”

Roman already knows the answer, watching as his more quiet child is suddenly waiting for her sister to count them off. Seconds later, the two of them rush out the room on a trajectory that’ll lead to Solana who will no doubt chastise them for running in the house.

But they come back, giggling together as they stand in the doorway, hitting him with both a question and a demand. 

“Daddy, are you coming?”

“Daddy, wake up!”

Roman shoots up from the bed, hulking shoulders moving up and down in sync with his heavy breathing. Movement to the side of him shows him Solana shifting in her sleep, a peaceful expression on his face.

It’s the exact opposite of how he feels. 

Moving his hand through his silky, wavy locks, Roman takes the blanket off of him and carefully moves out the bed, prioritizing not disturbing his wife. 

He blows out a breath and walks out the double doors that bring him to the patio, his big body settling down on one of the chaise lounges.

It’s only then he asks himself the burning question at the back of his mind.

What the fuck was that?

Roman doesn’t really dream a lot, and when he does, they’re more along the lines or nightmares.

Night terrors when he was younger.

But this……he doesn’t even know what the fuck that was.

Children.

Roman has never really seen himself as a father, never allowed himself to think about it because it’s never really been a desire. He’s always known that he would have to create an heir to carry on his legacy, but that’s a thing of duty. Not desire.

So why the fuck is he dreaming about having not one but several children with Solana?

Solana….

Her oath a few weeks back of giving him an heir returns to the front of his mind. It makes him wonder all of sudden what her view on children is. Does she want children? Without inside knowledge of her trauma, one would think that’s an obvious thing. She would have never married him, never agreed to the arrangement when the sole purpose of the union was to create a child if she didn’t, in fact, want a child. 

But, Roman knows her, knows her trauma. Knows that she was forced into this.

Which makes him incapable of shooting down the possibility that maybe she doesn’t even want children?

And then he thinks about her tonight, thinks about the permanent smile on her face as she interacted with that little girl, the way she interacted with several of the children present who came up to her.

She looked….she looked happy. 

Content.

And of course, the now haunting words of the old woman who Solana also seems to have heavily gravitated towards: 

“You two will make great parents.”

Thinking about and being completely honest with himself, he sees it for Solana. Could….could see her as a mother.

But seeing himself as a father….that’s something he can’t answer. Can’t understand, really. 

The same way he can’t understand why there’s a small part of him that’s upset he woke up.

Upset that the dream didn’t last just a little bit longer. 

Upset that he’s now thinking heavily about what the old lady predicted.

Himself and Solana as parents. 

Fuck.

First the love comment, now this?

Damn that old woman.

________

Something is off with Roman.

Solana has noticed it ever since the night of the dinner at Paloma’s restaurant. She figured it was maybe because Roman really can only withstand so much social interaction. Chalked it up to him needing the night to sleep it off.

But, it was there the next day and the day after that and even as their trip in Isla Mujeres came to an end. 

On the jet ride back home, he’s quiet, working diligently on his work laptop. She tries her best not to think too much of it, because it’s not like he’s ignoring her. He still talks to her, still interacts with her, still touches her, but it’s just….off.

There’s like this….this distance that she can’t understand.

A distance that hurts. 

It’s why she stands in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to not get too into her head over her dress. It’s probably the most risqué thing she’s ever worn, more skin showing than she would prefer to be exposed. But, a small part of her hopes it will catch Roman’s attention.

Hopes it can progress the touches into something more.

Because along with his distant behavior, there’s been a lack of intimacy between them. And that’s especially hard for her to not think too much about. Because, to her, it was going well. She….she enjoys being with him in that way. Being that close to him.

She thought he did too.

Roman suddenly knocks on the bathroom door, asking, “you almost—damn.” Him stopping himself puts a smile on her face. 

Solana chews on her bottom lip, asking, “do–do you like it?” She then motions to her chest that’s heavily exposed. “I know it’s—it’s a lot.”

Roman moves closer to her, eyes raking over her slowly, hand moving to the back of her, under her dress, cupping her ass. “You sure you don’t want to stay in tonight?” A small smile starts to form on her face at his suggestive tone. “The two of us…naked.”

Her stomach flutters with excitement. This is the first time in days that he’s expressed any desire to be with her in that way, and now she’s beyond grateful that she pushed past her insecurity and put on the dress. Because it’s brought out that side of him that she’s been missing.

The side that makes her feel like he wants her.

A hand on his chest, she murmurs, “when we get back.”

Because while she also has a desire to be intimate with him, she’s also excited to see their friends.

Naomi, Bayley, and the twins inviting her (and naturally, Roman) out to a VIP lounge to have a belated birthday celebration since she wasn’t available to do anything with them for her actual birthday. She’s excited to see them, to be around her friends. 

“Are you….” Solana doesn't know where exactly it comes from, the bravery and confidence to ask what she’s about to, but it seems to leave her mouth before she can really think too much about it. “Are you okay?”

His gaze takes a curious tone. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, suddenly nervous about how to word it right. “I don’t know. You’ve just seemed….kinda off the past couple days.” He swallows, and she sees something flash in his eyes, something he shoves away. Something she’s now just as curious about. “Is–”

“I’m fine,” he answers. For some reason, she has a hard time believing that. “Adjusting to being back has just been irritating. I’ve never taken a vacation before, so shit has just been an annoying adjustment.”

Solana nods, believing there could be some truth to that. She doesn’t doubt it’s been an adjustment for him. But, there’s also this nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that there’s something else he’s not telling her.

“O-okay.” Something tells her this conversation will need to be revisited, just not right now. Not when it’s clear he has no desire to express whatever is really bothering him.

Roman dips his head and kisses her cheek. “Let’s get out of here. The sooner we get back, the sooner I can be inside you.” She giggles, gasping as he slaps her ass. 

“Roman!”

________

The lounge is beautiful. Reminiscent of an upscale club, minus the packed bodies and loud music. It’s clearly geared toward upscale clientele, and the second level of the lounge has been rented out, space cleared for their small party.

Something she greatly appreciates. Both for herself and Roman. Her husband already sacrificed so much of his preference to be isolated from others vs surrounded by people on their trip. 

The group separates naturally, Roman and the twins with Solana sitting near Bayley and Naomi, the two women nearly bursting at the seams with a ton of questions/statements.

“How was it?”

“We already know it was nice considering we barely heard from you.”

“Dulce mama was out here living her best life.”

“You got a lil tan too!”

“We want to know everything.”

Solana giggles, shrugging. “It was really nice.”

Bayley scoffs, “just nice? Girl, you gotta give us more than that.”

Solana opens her mouth, pausing a bit. “I mean….we spent a lot of time together.” Her eyes fall over to Roman who’s surprisingly engaging in conversation with Jimmy and Jey. Solo, as well. His presence surprised her. 

She didn’t know he was coming. Not to mention, she didn’t think he’d want to be present for anything that’s not required when it comes to her.

“And?”

Solana knows they’re not intentionally asking about sex, but their questions are unintentionally pointing her to share just that. And for some reason, most likely the trust and bond she’s formed with them, she’s not opposed.

That doesn’t stop the maddening blush from forming on her cheeks as she shares, “we—well, we finally, umm—”

Loud gasps interrupt her, Naomi being the one to ask the infamous question, “Solana, did ya’ll….” Solana chews on her bottom lip, nodding softly.

Bayley and Naomi have to cover their mouths to hold in the screams that would no doubt draw all of the wrong attention.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Bayley exclaims, suddenly asking with all the protectiveness, “he was good to you, right? Didn’t pressure you—”

“No. No. Never.” That’s probably the easiest thing to answer. Solana doesn’t know how to properly express how good Roman was to her. Has been to her. “He was—it was perfect.”

Naomi smirks, playfully nudging Solana’s shoulder. “We told you it was great with the right person.” They couldn’t have been more right. “So….was it just once or—”

Bayley scoffs. “We cannot be asking her all these intimate details!” Only to then casually ask, “so like how big is his dick really?”

Naomi falls out laughing while Solana’s eyes widen at the graphic nature of Bayley’s question. 

“So you can ask about his dick size, but I can’t ask about how many times they’ve done it?”

Bayley protests, sipping some of her Vodka as she counters, “my question is for science.”

“Bullshit!” 

Solana shakes her head, giggling as she coyly answers, “we…it’s been a couple times.”

Naomi smirks. “Okay, girl, I see you. Ya’ll went to Mexico and got freaky.” Solana takes a sip of her bottled water, more than certain her cheeks are a red, hot mess. “Seriously though….I’m happy for you. With what you’ve been through, you deserve to have a happy, healthy, sex life. Every woman does.”

“She’s right.” Bayley agrees, and Solana finds the emotions brewing again. 

Never did she think it was possible, that she could have just that. A healthy sex life. Just how she never imagined she would end up with someone as amazing as Roman. Yet both of those things are exactly what have happened, and she’s never been happier. 

“Wait, does this mean we’re gonna be godmothers soon?” Bayley asks an otherwise normal question that has Solana still in her seat. 

Naomi chimes, “I mean, she’s not allowed to be on birth control, and I know Roman had to have broken his condom only rule since they’re married so….”

Solana has a hard time saying anything, has a hard time not thinking about something that should have been considered the moment that barrier was broken.

Roman and Solana have consummated their marriage.

They’ve had sex. 

Several times.

Unprotected sex.

They are actively having unprotected sex.

Naomi is right in that not once did Roman bring up protection. 

It has her wondering now if he didn’t bring it up because, in his mind, they’re now working on creating an heir?

But, she dispels that theory pretty quickly, remembering how determined he was to help her not feel any pressure regarding them conceiving a child. He’s never seemed too concerned with that part of their marriage deal.

Unless….

Unless it was because they weren’t sexually active, but now that they are….

Suddenly, another conversation with Roman regarding just what the plan is for that is on the agenda.

Along with whatever it is that’s bothering him that he won’t open up about. 

Bayley and Naomi must pick up on her change and mood, switching the conversation to something regarding some mess that kicked off at the Warehouse between Nia and some person named Mia. Solana does her best to follow along when she feels her phone vibrate in her bag. 

Pulling it out, she unlocks her phone and opens up messages, specifically the unopened thread from an unsaved number.

Unknown: Did you really think you would get away with fucking us over?

Unknown: You were warned.

Unknown: What happens next is on you.

The phone drops out of Solana’s hand the minute she’s done reading the text. She can barely breathe, barely process what’s happening as her head snaps up, eyes frantically searching for the one person who’s now been kicked to the front of her mind.

Roman

She spots him, expression unreadable as he sips on a beer, speaking to Solo.

Solana jumps up from the sofa, ignoring Naomi and Bayley asking what’s wrong. She kicks her heels off and makes a beeline straight for him, uncaring about the bodies she has to squeeze between, the few individuals who she actually shoves out of her way. Something at any other time she wouldn’t dare consider doing. But this isn’t any other time, this is life or death.

Literally.

“Roman!”

His eyes snap with hers seconds before she successfully makes her way over to him. Her heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest. She can barely breathe, and she’s certain that she’s trembling, but none of that stops her from rushing out, “we have to get out of here!”

His hands move to her face, cupping it, taking note of her frantic state as he asks with all of the protectiveness. “What’s wrong?”

Eyes watering, she opens her mouth. “I—”

That’s as far as it goes, the most and only thing that she’s able to express because before she’s cut off. Roman’s gaze lifts above her and the last thing she sees is the slight widening of his eyes as he shoves her to the side of him with so much force that she slams against the ground, her head bouncing off the carpeted floor.

But, that’s not what catches her attention. Not the shock of him pushing her so harshly, putting his hands on her in a way she would have never thought possible. No, that’s not an issue at all, because the sound that only seems to have registered upon her fall is what has her attention snatched and fixated.

A single sound that she hasn’t heard in years.

A gunshot. 

And then chaos.

There’s shouts, there’s screams, there’s people running around in a mass panic, but a single voice cuts through all of that: clear, loud, furious. “Get her out of here now!”

Roman.

And it’s the sound of his voice that makes Solana snap her head to the side, eager to lay eyes on him in the midst of this chaos.

But, it’s when she does that everything changes, the world stops and time stands still.

“No.” She can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move, can’t function because all she can focus on is the sight of Roman’s men with a perimeter around him, guns lifted and aimed, ready to fire off at a moment's notice. “Roman!” She tries to climb up off the floor, tries to get to him, to see him, to touch him. 

Solana is unable to look away from the sight of him holding onto his shoulder, face grimaced in pain, blood seeping through his long fingers.

But before can get to him, before she can actually touch him, another voice calls out, “cover me!” And she’s suddenly off the floor, body pressed against a stranger, the interaction causing her to try to jerk away. 

Partially because of the contact, mostly because she needs to get to Roman.

“We gotta get you out of here!” Solo’s voice, harsh and determined, makes her realize he’s the strange body that she also now realizes is trying to get her the hell out of dodge. “Now!”

And it’s right then and there that another gunshot rings out, followed by several more.

Solana’s panic nearly triples as she tries to push him away, tears burning her eyes, “no! I’m not leaving him!” Solana beats her fist against Solo as he continues to drag her, Solana begging, “don’t make me leave him!” The tears are spilling over, the last glimpse of Roman showing Jimmy and Jey rushing over in his direction. “Please!” Solana continues to cry out his name, fighting a losing battle against Solo who is successful in ushering her out of the emergency exit located in the back. 

Once outside, he has to keep dragging her down the fire escape staircase, because she doesn’t stop trying to push him away and doesn't stop from trying to get back to Roman. Solana can’t stop replaying the nightmare that has just become a reality. 

She has no idea where Naomi is. Where Bayley is. Only able to see the twins and Roman before she was ripped away from the scene.

Roman….

He pushed her to protect her.

Moved her out the line of fire and took the bullet intended for her.

He’s been shot because of her.

He’s been hurt because of her.

And it’s all her fault.

[nerdasaurus1200]

A little fix it fic cause the Zaun family deserved a better ending. Also, I just realized, this is my first Arcane fanfic, so I hope y’all like it!

Not Over Yet

“Is that singing I hear?” Caitlyn’s voice pulled Vi away from the fire for a moment. Despite the teasing smile, she still tried to covertly look at the plate on the table beside her partner. The sandwich was half eaten this time. That was at least some progress.

“Oh, yeah. It’s just this..silly little song my mom used to sing to me and Jinx when we were little.” Vi laughed under her breath. It was still a little strange calling her sister that.

“Before she…you know.” Vi looked back at the fire and shrugged, and she could see Caitlyn nodding slightly. The fire was a welcome distraction, but it still put her on edge. It reminded her too much of Vander dy-…of the accident. She swore she could see all their faces in the flames if she looked hard enough. All those she lost…or maybe she was just starting to see things too. Was this how Jinx felt all those years? That weird sense of…of emptiness while never being alone? Like some ghost was always watching over her shoulder?

Well, it wasn’t like she could ask her now.

“How did the service go?” Caitlyn wrapped an arm around Vi and leaned her head on her shoulder.

“Alright.” Vi shrugged again, unable to pull her face away from the flames, “I don’t know how I didn’t break down by the time it was my turn to get up there and spew sappy shit.”

Caitlyn chuckled, a dry and bittersweet sound.

“I think little man’s taking it pretty hard. He couldn’t even look me in the eye.” Vi recalled.

Caitlyn’s brow furrowed for a moment as she took in Vi’s words, trying to think of anything that would provide some comfort, “…I think Ekko just needs a bit of time. We all grieve in different ways.”

“Oh yeah, cupcake, some people go crazy, and other people decide to play dictator and declare martial law.” Vi remarked with a playful glare. Caitlyn huffed affectionately and flicked a strand of Vi’s hair, which in turn made Vi chuckle.

But then as soon as the happiness came, it vanished. It was so hard to be happy these days, with all that had happened.

“Have, uh…have the reports come back yet?” Vi asked cautiously.

Caitlyn’s eyes softened in sadness as she leaned forward to kiss Vi’s cheek, “Still no signs of any remains in the Hexgates. Only the bomb shrapnels we were able to initially recover.”

Vi’s jaw clenched ever so slightly and her eyes hardened for a moment. Damn it all, three times and they still couldn’t find any sign of her family??? Weren’t Enforcers supposed to be good at sticking their nose in stuff like this?

“However, I was looking at the schematics of the Hexgates, and…” Caitlyn let herself trail off as she dropped a piece of paper into Vi’s lap.

Vi’s eyes narrowed as she looked it over, some of it made sense but some of it was just nonsense, “Cupcake, what the hell is this?”

“If you and I know anything about your sister, it’s that she’s always two steps ahead.” Caitlyn pointed out, “The Hexgates have plenty of air ducts that she could’ve used as an escape route and we’d be nonethewiser.”

Vi’s eyes widened as Caitlyn’s implication hung in the air. So Jinx and Vander could be…her family really could be…

“If she’s alive she’ll turn up sooner or later. But we have a lot of work to do until that happens. For Piltover and for Zaun.” Caitlyn spoke softly, a gentle determination in her voice. Vi was helpless to the smirk that appeared on one side of her mouth. There she was, there was the Cupcake she knew.

“…Are you still in this fight, Violet?” Caitlyn couldn’t help but ask. At her question, a fond huff escaped Vi. She turned to look at her partner with a smile as she interlaced their fingers together.

“I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake.” She declared, “Nothing’s gonna clean me out.”

Caitlyn’s eyes sparkled with love, and then she smirked playfully, “That’s Sheriff Cupcake you you, creampuff.”

The couple shared another laugh as their forehead gently pressed together. For a moment, the world fell away…it was just them.

“…could you teach me that song?” Caitlyn asked.

Vi blinked in surprise, and then nodded, “Yeah sure.”

Then she began to sing, “Dear friend, across the river…my hands…are cold and bare…”

~~~~

“Dear friend, across the river, I’ll take…what you can spare…”

Jinx alternated between humming and singing as she steered the airship, just staring out at the horizon before her. She wasn’t even sure how far away from Piltover they were now.

A familiar little shove pulled her attention away however.

“Heyy, do not distract the driver.” Jinx scolded, though her tone betrayed that she wasn’t actually that serious. Not that she ever was.

Janna above, Jinx was more grateful than ever for that mischievous that little smile now. If Ekko hadn’t saved Isha, then, well…

Jinx thought it best not to dwell on that. Or else Mylo might start up again and the last thing she needed was his smart mouth. Either way, she owed Ekko a solid for it. And of course, for helping her steal an airship.

Isha giggled and hugged Jinx, but still made a bit of a stink face as she saw Jinx’s hair.

“What, you don’t like my new haircut?” Jinx teased, and rolled her eyes fondly when Isha shook her head.

“Ah, you’re just mad cause you can’t play jumprope with my braids for a while.” Jinx reached out and gently pushed Isha’s helmet to cover her eyes for a moment. Isha giggled again as she pushed her helmet back up. Jinx stepped back and let Isha take the wheel.

“Sooo, what next Fishbones?” Jinx pulled her shark rocket launcher out.

“We’ll do our laundry, wash the dishes, pay some bills, and get Isha into a good school!” Fishbones ‘spoke’ sounding rather excited about such mundane activities. Isha looked excited too as she steered, while Jinx looked incredibly annoyed.

“Stupid dumb rocket launcher.” She muttered, giving Fishbones a firm smack. At the sound, a rough old growl was heard a few feet away. Neither Jinx nor Isha flinched, they were used to that sound by now.

“Hey, don’t worry, Vander.” Jinx set the rocket launched down and sat beside her adopted father, “We’ll find another way. We always do. In the meantime, Vi can relax a little playing housewife to the Hat Lady.”

Isha pulled a lever near the steering wheel of the airship and moved over to sit next to Jinx and Vander. After she was settled all snug and cozy in Vander’s fur, she signed at Jinx.

“Oh, you want me to keep singing, huh? Mmmm…well alright.” Jinx agreed.

“You still haven’t mentioned where exactly you plan on going.” Silco’s voice could be heard, his hallucination lingering in the shadows by Mylo and Claggor.

Jinx smiled and shrugged in acknowledgement. She still hadn’t quite figured that part out yet. For now, the top priorities were keeping Isha safe, and getting Vander’s mind back.

This time, Jinx chose to ignore Silco for once as she sang, “We raise…no mighty towers, our homes…are built of stone, so come…across the river, and find…the world below…”

[lririx]

so, hypothetically, demi with a lady dimitrescu like hunter partner? i love both these women and i think the worlds should collide, my sapphic ass is hella WEAK for them

I love Demi so much I can't😭 My lesbian loving heart can't handle a ship like this it's so cute😭I hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

•Low and behold a new hunter has come to the Manor with no sign of wanting to show any mercy towards anyone.

•A terrifying yet beautiful woman who is about 10 foot tall. No one knows her story. All they know is that if they end up in a match with her they're done for.

•Due to her condition she needs blood to stay alive and somehow the Manor provides the blood needed.

•She was a Nobel before she came to the Manor so she's used to ordering people around. She sees herself above all the other hunters but devotes herself to Miss. Nightingale.

•She obeys her every word and does nothing that might anger her. The hunters in the Manor were intimidated by her. Her demeanour was what caused it. No one thought she'd open up to anyone.

•So how in the world did this happen? Is she plotting something? Why is she dating a survivor? And that survivors is Demi?

•No one knows how this relationship came to be. Even Miss. Nightingale is confused about it. The hunter who showed no mercy even to the hunters is in love?

•Demi and The lady are quite different. Demi is a sweet ball of sunshine who wants to help everyone and bring joy to the Manor while the hunter wants to go on a murder spree.

•Well, their hobbies might have made them get closer. Both of them love to drink and listen to jazz all day. They adore dancing too.

•Sometimes music can be heard in one of the rooms and when people go and check on it they see two drunk love birds happily dancing to the song.

•The lady protects Demi all the time. She’s not overprotective, but deals with the trouble if Demi’s not capable of doing it.

•She never hits Demi during matches. Not even in a playful way. While she’s obliterating the survivors, Demi just stands there drinking and lovingly looking at her lover.

•If Demi asks The lady to not hurt anyone during the match, she will obey her instantly. Everyone sighs of relief whenever she does this.

•She can turn into a dragon like monster aswell and let's Demi get on top of her and she just flies away.

•Demi is around 5’6 and the lady is like 10 foot so the height differences is quite something. The lady has to kneel for Demi to be able to kiss her. Demi sometimes gets a chair or a stool or ever gets on the table to kiss her.

•Demi is a switch but The lady is a dom. Though she will be a bottom from time to time to make Demi happy.

•Sex with The lady is quite an experience. BDSM is something that will constantly happen during it. Good thing Demi enjoys it.

•Drinks and alcohol are always on the bedside table next to candles and incenses.

•Remember how I said the lady needs blood? Well yeah she bites Demi's neck and drinks it during sex and makeouts.

•Both of them will have visible bite marks and hickies the next day.

•And on a daily basis she takes Demi’s hand and drinks her blood.

•They call eachother mommy on the bed.

•If she’s talking to Demi and someone interrupts her she’ll bite their head off.

•Pet names. They will constantly use Pet names on eachother like “Sweetheart” “Dear” “Love”.

•They love showering together. They go in the bath and brush eachothers hair while kissing eqchothers neck. It gets steamy sometimes.

•Both of them wear red lipstick and they kiss eachother on the lips, cheeks and neck before a match and neither of them wipes it off.

•They wander around the Manor together while laughing and drinking. They just look like the sweetest couple during those times.

[jihyoruri]

WARNINGS: angst

yn hated herself for not being able to get over her ex. when huh yunjin broke up with her out of know where, yn promised herself to not be the girl stuck over her ex, she promised herself to be the girl that moves on and lives her best life.

but here she is.

crying her eyes out, after finding out that her ex has a new girlfriend a non idol one, someone who has nothing to do with the industry, unlike yn who is the leader of the monster rookie girl group new jeans.

it was minji who broke news to her after talking to chaewon. chaewon accidentally letting it slip out that yunjin has a new girlfriend.

it’s only been five weeks.

five weeks.

did she even like me ?

how can someone move on in five weeks ?

unless she moved on a while ago …

a loud sob released yn’s throat, the last thought basically stabbing her in the chest. she feels like she can’t breathe.

how could she do this to me ?

instead of sadness yn was crying out of, she was crying out of envy and anger.

I hate her.

but I still lover.

she hears a knock on her door. it hurts to talk so she doesn’t answer.

“yn unnie.” minji peaks through the crack of the door.

“yea ?” yn’s voice is strained, her throat hurts from crying so much.

“are you okay ?” minji walks towards the bed sitting on the edge.

“I’m sorry minji but I don’t wanna talk right now.” yn speaks out looking at the girl at the edge of her bed. she feels like if talks she’ll start sobbing again.

“I knew you’d say that, I just came in here to give u suggestion of writing a song, write out your feelings, it’s what you do best.” minji explains while sitting up from yn’s bed.

opening the door minji leaves the room with a quiet “love you.” shutting the door shut.

yn sits up from her bed.

maybe I should write …

NEW JEANS YN SHOCKS FANS WITH NEW RELEASE “KILL BILL”

NEW JEANS YN TOPS THE SHARTS WITH NEW SONG KILL BILL.

FANS DEMAND YN TO PUT OUT MORE SONGS.

@yunjinsgf: “whoever broke my girls heart I just wanna have a talk.”

@kittykang: “not yn killing bitchs 😭”

@yunyn: yes I’m a delulu shipper and I hope yunjin and yn come out dating so the person who hurt my girl can suck it both them and their girlfriend can suck it”

@minjiyn: me and yn locked in like this fr we think the same 🤣

yn feels a bit better after writing the song, sometimes letting out your vulnerability is good.

hanni wraps her arms around yn “your song is breaking records unnie.” she presses her cheek against yn’s shoulder. “it’s so good too, I’ve been listening to it all day.”

“thank you ms pham.”

“are you guys ready ? we’re going out to eat” minji says walking towards the door. “yes we are.” hanni responds dragging yn towards the door.

yn laughs watching hyein tease danielle, poking her sides as the girls exit their dorm.

yeah, yn isn’t okay, but she she’ll okay soon , at least she has her members.

“unnie,it looks like yn wants to kill you.” eunchae says to yunjin while laying on the couch.

“I know.” she responds rolling her eyes.

“maya is a cool girl, but why did you break up with yn you guys were perfect.” sakura says sitting beside the girl.

yunjin looks down at her lap. “because I made a mistake and I couldn’t take the guilt of telling her so I broke up with her.” she looks up at the two girls with teary eyes “it was for her own good.”

“you made a mistake ?” skaura questions “yunjin don’t tell me you-.”

“yea.”

“all I’m gonna say is that you should’ve told her, instead of breaking up with her out of know where leaving her blind sided.” sakura says getting up from the couch.

“you messed up, let’s hope you don’t hurt maya next.”

the thing is, she is hurting maya.

secretly.

because she can’t get over you.

and she hates herself for it.

★☆what do y’all think yunjin did ????

[kanekoii]

There are a lot of people who speak multiple languages in nijien so what abt reader saying “ily” in their language not realizing they speak that? With maybe Aia(vietnamese), Selen(mandarin/cantonese), Elira(Japanese/french), or Zali(french)?

lyra’s notes -> hi hello this is the cutest idea ever thank you for blessing me with this idea anon

pairings -> aia amare, selen tatsuki, elira pendora, vezalius bandage x gn! reader

genre -> fluffy and a tiny bit of angst

song -> 好きって言って - ちいたな

warnings -> unrequited love, google translate only in aia’s (the rest of the languages i know at least a little of), japanese in elira’s bc zali is THE french guy

AIA AMARE ->

when you were in an off-collab with aia, she most definitely did NOT expect you to say that you loved her in her native language. she knew you had a tendency to say things in vietnamese that you’d be too shy to say in english, and unfortunately for you, you didn’t know that she spoke the language fluently. but aia’s face lit up when you mumbled something that sounded just like “tôi yêu bạn”which is a confession of love in her language. without missing a beat she replies that aww she loves you too, and only when you’re not around will she allow herself to blush and fluster over the fact that you said you loved her in her language. it wasn’t just sweet, it made aia’s day- no- month at the very least. even if she’s not sure it was a real confession, she would waste no time to say it back.

SELEN TATSUKI ->

the very second the words “愛你” left your mouth, she would sigh in a jokingly exaggerated manner to hide her blush. of course, you didn’t know she knew what you were saying which made you incredibly embarrassed. you figured that, if you said things in a different language, she wouldn’t be able to understand, but clearly that backfired horribly. you had been dating my favorite pantsless gamer for a little while now, but you had never said that you loved her yet. it wasn’t that you didn’t love her, quite the opposite really. it was just that you were scared of driving her away. but from then on, you would only say 愛你 to each other instead of a stereotypical ‘i love you’. it just felt so much more intimate.

ELIRA PENDORA ->

surely she wasn’t expecting you to say “愛してる” on stream to her. she’s glad she was off camera anyway in that moment because elira doesn’t think she’ll ever recover from just how cute it was. it’s doubtful that she’ll ever forget it, even if she’s not sure if you meant it the way she thought you did. even if it was a confession of love in your own way, she’d probably doubt it until you said it again. and she definitely hopes you will say it again, because god it’s adorable. and she loves you too, so maybe one day she’ll muster up the confidence to say it back. maybe. yet elira doubts she might ever have the courage to say it even if she wanted to scream it out and wanted you to be hers.

VEZALIUS BANDAGE ->

you didn’t think he’d hear it when you said it. it’s no secret that he’d understand what you were saying when you mumbled a quiet ‘je t’aime’ under your breath. zali would brush it off but you could see just in his eyes that his mind was moving at a million miles a minute. his golden eyes softened as he looked at you with a small smile. maybe zali would soon learn to express his love too, just give him time and he’ll express it with as much sincerity as he could possibly muster. one day he’ll leave a note for you to find that simply read “je t’aime aussi” and that’s his way of confessing it for you quietly and shyly.

[jimmy-johns-was-taken]

Songs I think the Creeps would use to Describe their Relationship

Exactly what the title says + explanation

Also I definitely think there are more songs that just these, but I liked these the best

Features : Jeff the Killer, BEN Drowned, Eyeless Jack, Ticci Toby, Masky/Tim, Hoodie/Brian, Jane the Killer, Nina the Killer

Jeff the Killer :

Partners in Crime by Set it Off

I think this one is pretty self explanatory, but Jeff the Killer wants you in on the action. He likes seeing you get up to nothing good, being not him but someone who can stand with him. Not him but someone who is similar but different. But someone who isn’t only his crime buddy but someone who is his partner, someone who can patch him up and give him rest from the chaos.

BEN Drowned :

Lonely Day by System of a Down

BEN is the kind of lover who has a lot of love to give, but doesn’t know how. When he loves, he loves hard and long. Lonely Day’s lyrics speak of dying with each other, staying to the end and more, and for my version of BEN this is perfect.

Eyeless Jack :

Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Your Guardian Angel is a song about standing with one forever, never leaving through the thick and thin. How the world is cold to a monster like Jack yet he finds peace and solitude in someone like you. Your his peace and in return he’s your guardian Angel. He wants to protect you and fight for you, no matter what the world throws at you.

Ticci Toby :

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Ticci Toby loves their privacy with you. They want to be able to do everything with you, and they know that you guys don’t need anyone. Your happy together and that’s what matters. You and Toby would lay on the floor or in the street, just in a comfortable silence, no words needed. You might not can find the words, but it’s ok because you both know that you care deeply for one another.

Masky / Tim :

Over and Over by Three Days Grace

Every time you walk into the room, he’s falling head over heals again. For the most part, his life is just a repeat everyday, but you change that. You bring him out of that routine and giving him something new. He longs for you, chasing you around and falling more everyday. He knows he has important matters but he just can’t himself, not loving you is too difficult for him.

Brian / Hoodie :

I was Made for Lovin’ You by Kiss

Tell me this man isn’t a fan of soulmates! I know what this song is really about, but I like looking at it more romantically! You and Brian were made for one another, you clicked instantly when you met. Brian can never get enough of you, starring into you eyes and falling in love all over.

Jane the Killer :

Cant Help Falling in Love cover by Ice Nine Kills

Jane can’t help herself when it comes to you! She loves and adores you, and every time she sees you, she feels the need to love on you like crazy. She just can’t help herself when it comes to you. I choose Ice Nine Kills however because Jane can be violent and almost horror movie cliche stuff when it comes to her love. She’ll protect you, even if it gets messy, and she’s so cheesy like a movie!

Nina the Killer :

Still into You by Paramore

Nina falls quickly, like the moment she lays eyes on you! She doesn’t say anything at first, but when you guys hit it off, it’s crazy. It’s not always easy, but knowing your there for one another makes her feel better. They get butterflies all the time around you, and the two of you just make sense together. From the moment they saw you, their still into you.

Thank you for reading, hope you have a lovely day/night!

[leejenowrld]

Hi love, I just wanted to pop by and say how much I loved My First and Last. It’s been a while since I really felt satisfied after reading a fic <3 I also think it’s cute how you’re allowing us readers to explore more into Jeno & y/n’s relationship! I do hope one day you’ll create a master list so it’ll be easier for us to get back to them since I know you’ll be creating a bunch of one-shots and responding to scenario requests. If it’s not too much to ask, I’d really like to see how Jeno cares for her when she has a moment of insecurity/anxiety attack (.◜◡◝) Thank you for blessing us with this fic once again, I’m looking very forward to reading more from you!!

heyyy!! thank you so so so much !!!! glad you enjoyed it. and same <3333

tumblr has shadowbanned me so i’m very upset and madraww and frustrated but i’ll let you know how jeno reacts are to her anxiety :) if you want an actual one shot of it i’m sure to do it in the future (when i’m not shadow banned)

so for yn it does happen quite regularly, she gets very stressed and doesn’t deal well with pressure or when she’s under pressure. a few times jeno can sense she’s gonna have a panic attack (cus he knows her really well, like the back of his hand) and it’s really fucking sweet he is able to prevent it before it happens :(( it’s like a magic power of love. he does this by calming her down before her nerves can take over, he’ll comfort her and reassure her that everyone will be ok :(( he’ll use reasoning, like for example she used to stress a lot about assignments and exams and he’d just point out the facts to her, eg you’ve done so much revision, you never fail anything, and it works !! he helps the issue get to the back of her mind. and an easy one, lmao he just kisses her and holds her, she forgets everything and the world melts around lol

but when it does happen. and it does. so if he’s not there she’ll call him over or text him and he comes asap, he drops everything and goes over to his girl immediately.

he’ll immediately bring her into his arms and just holds her close, the warmth of his body and his heart beat against hers helps her loads. he also likes to trace soft patterns on her back with his fingers

a kiss on her temple or forehead, whispers of sweet affirmation

he creates a nice environment, dimming the lights, lighting a few candles, and playing her favourite songs

his gf is a psychology major so ofc he knows a few breathing exercises and stuff like that! he will guide her through synchronized breathing, his breath aligning with hers, a way of him telling her that he will always be there for her

he lights her fav candle and scents

he just listens! like he fr just nods and hums as she explains herself. she tends to ramble and sometimes not make a lot of sense because ppl can get like that when they’re feeling a lot but he never shows that he doesn’t understand her point :(( he just listens to her and makes her feel heard. and also if she isn’t making sense, because he knows her so well he can always understand what her point is, he helps her articulate her feelings, he’ll be like “oh so you mean this”

he alsoooo will help her do what’s right. like say she’s stressed cus she’s arguing with her friend, he’ll listen to her and make her feel understood (cus she always is in the right lol like my girl never does no harm, she doesn’t cause any shit)

their communication got iffy in the one shot but now it’s one of their strengths :D

[changingplumbob]

Villareal: Chapter 6, Part 12

Can we mend the bond between Max and Miriam?

More importantly can I get these indoor water features to work?

For ease of reading if the toddlers are trying to say real words I'll put the English in brackets. Luna (mummy) and Devin (mama) use some German and Italian. Amore (Italian) Love Arrivederci (Italian) Goodbye Bambino/s (Italian) Male child/children Buongiorno (Italian) Good morning Caro (Italian) Dear Ciao (Italian) Hello/Bye Grazie (Italian) Thank you Piccolo (Italian) Little one Schatz (German) Treasure Zia/Zio (Italian) Aunt/Uncle

Devin: *hums to self*

Alfred: Mama! Bon gee no (Buongiorno), what you doing Mama

Devin: Waiting for my bambinos to wake up

Alfred: I early riser

Devin: I know. Do you want your bath first while we wait for your brother to wake up

Alfred: Yes please Mama

While he doesn’t have the loving water quirk like his brother Alfred still enjoys a good splash about in the tub.

Rilian: MAMA! Mama I want bath please. Why Alfred bath

Devin: You were sleeping caro, give Mama a second then you can climb in

PHONE RINGS

Devin: Ciao, Devin Villareal here. Oh hey De! No it’s just a chill day, feel free to come around. Arrivederci

Alfred: Zia De?

Devin: Zia Deanna is going to come by and see us, how lucky are we. I think we best be in the gym this morning

Rilian: I can walk

Alfred: I race

Devin: Alright, let me get these dishes and I’ll see you there

The toddler take off down the long hallways, bobbling along with Alfred in the lead. Deanna lets herself in and passes the waddlers, giving them a brief squeeze as they complain about being in a race.

Deanna: Wanna spar? We’ve seen ma do it enough

Devin: Three more reps then I’m on it

In the background Rilian and Alfred play with some of the more active toys.

Deanna: Why do you pull faces when we spar

Devin: I have to practice my battle face for ZBB. Met any cute girls yet

Deanna: *sighs* Not yet. Tamika’s idea of going to a singles night is sounding more and more appealing though

Devin: Just don’t say you’re my sister or they’ll want to date me instead

Deanna: *laughs* More like they’ll get my number just to collect an autograph long term

Devin: Like I’d give them an autograph if they’re stringing you along. And…. End scene!

Deanna: *laughs* I guess that’s actor for “end spar”

Devin: Grazi for coming by. Give my love to ma and pa... and Emisia or she’ll feel left out

Following early lunch and naps the twins have convinced Devin they should watch Melodies of the City again. With each rewatch they get closer to remembering the words to the songs, not that not knowing ever stops their sing along.

Rilian: *blows kiss* Mama a screen star

Devin: *laughs* Grazie piccolo

Rilian: Next time we watch, hope Mama has red dress

Alfred: Me to!

Devin: Bambino’s, that’s not quite how it works. Mama had a yellow dress when she was filming so every time we watch Mama will have a yellow dress

Rilian: *sadly* Why?

Alfred: *sadly* Does Mama not like red?

Before Devin can figure out how to respond she’s saved by the bell, Luna has arrived home.

Alfred: Mummy! I love Mummy! Hug?

Luna: Oh course. Mummy missed you. And Mummy missed you

Rilian: *laughs* Snuggles with Mummy

Luna: Did we have a good day

Alfred: Yes. Zia De came and we play

Rilian: After nap we watch Mama sing on screen

The boys are soon distracted by some kids show and Luna takes the opportunity to pull Devin into her arms.

Luna: *kisses* I missed you today to

Devin: *giggles* Same here

Luna: So I’ve had an idea. Since we didn’t see Miriam at brunch I’ve invited her and Max for dinner

Devin: That’s a great idea! Although I don’t know that our house screams romantic atmosphere

Luna: I thought we could try Del Sol eatery again, maybe they just need a nice romantic dinner to get back on track

Devin: You have such a good heart amore mio

Luna: So do you schatz. Do you think Joey will be able to watch the twins on short notice

Devin: I think so, he doesn’t normally go... fishing on weekdays

Rilian: Zio Joey fish?

Alfred: He never show us fish

Rilian: We ask Zio Joey to see fish

Alfred: YES

Max: This is a swanky place, wonder if I could nick that guys wallet

Luna: Max, behave! This is meant to be a nice relaxing dinner for you and Miriam

Max: If you say so. Don’t be surprised that she looks different though. Rocked back in with a new do and wardrobe

Luna: Different? Wait-back?

Max: I don’t know, she said something about wanting to look edgy, I wasn’t really listening

Luna: *sighs* Max, step number one is listen when your wife is talking

Max: I thought step number one was… you know… in bed

Luna: Apologising in clothes can be more important than apologising in bed you know

Bonnie: *in monotone* Welcome to Del Sol Eatery, the best little gem in the valley

Devin: Yes hi, me again. Reservation for four under Villareal

Bonnie: *monotone continues* We offer our customers a range of dining experiences-

Devin: Not to be rude but we have heard your speech, know where the exits are and will continue to tip generously. Can you pretty please skip to the part where you show us our table?

Bonnie: *scoffs*

Devin worries she’s overstepped for a minute. It’s not as if she told her to get charisma lessons though, just to show them to a table. After an extra-long sigh Bonnie points to a table and Devin goes to grab it before the speech can start again.

Devin: Wow… that’s a nice dress

Miriam: Thanks! I’m trying to go more gothic to bind with Max more

Devin: That’s… cute, but remember even if you’re in a relationship you still have to be yourself

Miriam: I just don’t think pastels were the right way to gel with him, too bright

Devin: How are you and Max? We missed you at brunch

Miriam: Yes I- I’m back for now at least. Oh here they come. Honey pie, we’re over here!

Max: Yes sugar, my eyes do work

Luna: I grabbed a placemat!

Luna: I just realised you’ve never told me how you two met

Max: Oh look, a waiter, let’s order

The group peruses the menu and eventually settles on something to order. Again the conversation shifts back to romance.

Devin: Oh me and Lu met in high school

Max: Not this story again

Luna: Then tell us your story to pass the time. How did you meet? Who said I love you first

Max: Luna you know I’m not a sap

Luna: It’s not about being a sap, it’s about being able to say nice things about your partner

Max: Fine. Miriam, you have nice boobs

Miriam: And you have a nice butt

Max: There, compliments done

Devin: Oh come on, I’m sure there’s more you like about each other

Max: Yeah Miriam, I’m sure there was a reason you came back that wasn’t another fake pregnancy or more money

Luna: *fake laughter* Such a unique sense of humour my brother has

Miriam: Why yes Max. I came back because I figured you needed someone to sleep with you

Devin: *quickly* What do you think about these pools? Didn’t the watcher fix things up in here? And I see no one in swimwear

Max: Swimwear?

Luna: Let us tell you all about it

Eventually the food arrives and the talk can move to a more neutral territory. The tension never completely disappears but Max and Miriam stop taking bites out of each other and tuck into the food. Luna is worried about her brother and wonders if he’s keeping his hurt hidden or if he really thinks so little of Miriam now. When she and Devin meet each other’s eyes over the table she can feel her wife’s love without any words. She wants that for Max, even if he can be prickly as a hedgehog.

Miriam: Thank you for treating us Luna, it was good to get out

Luna: You’re welcome but this one will technically be from Devin’s paycheck

Fan: OMG Devin Villareal! Can I have an autograph

Devin: I’m sorry, I’m actually eating with my family right now. But if you want to shoot a quick video…

Luna: Uh oh

Devin: That’s right, serenade time!

Devin bursts into song and Luna beams proudly. She used to get flustered when Devin would break into song in front of strangers but as her wife has gotten more famous she’s found it reassuring. Max may be having trouble, but her marriage gives her nothing but joy.

Previous ... Next

[alcoholfreenayeon]

can you please write chaeyoung as your girlfriend headcanons? sfw and nsfw. i will be very grateful, thanks in advance.

A/N: Whaaaat, 2 fics in one day????

Here you go anon, for some reason, I’m quite motivated today so I finished this quite quickly. Hope you like it🥰!

Chaeyoung girlfriend HCs:

SWF HCs

Possessive. So very possessive of you. It might be surprising but she simply can’t stand it if you are flirty or even just friendly towards others. She wants you only for herself

Chaeyoung sees you as her safe space, her safe place so don’t be taken aback if at the end (or even beginning) of the day she climbs onto you and just talks about her day, her thoughts and whatever else she has going on in her head.

Of course Chaeyoung likes to draw you. Sometimes she’ll just use a picture of you as reference. Otherwise she wants you to be her model. It’s not easy but she makes it worth it.

She likes to take you out for dates, specifically to museums. Even though you aren’t as interested or knowledgeable in art, you are still able to appreciate the works. Besides, any date with Chaeyoung is bliss for your lovestruck heart.

Chaeyoung loves romantic stuff so you can expect lots of thoughtful gestures and presents from her. She really likes to make you smile and feels like she’s doing a good job as your girlfriend.

Likewise, you try to be romantic to her as well knowing she’s really into it but watching her get flustered and embarrassed never gets old for you, in fact you think it’s the most adorable thing ever.

She even gets really shy whenever the rest of Twice asks about you or mentions the two of you.

She will give you the most thoughtful presents

She claims to have written a song about you but whenever she’s asked to reveal it, she says that it’s too embarrassing to be public.

She always snuggles into you when she’s sleeping.

NFSW HCs

She’ll act all horny and eager but if you end up taking charge, she’ll become really bashful.

She’s surprisingly dominant at times.

Whether she’s being dominant or submissive, Chaeyoung always prefers to be on top.

The first time, she tried Wax play with you, you were really nervous since you don’t like pain. You endured the first few minutes which you didn’t like but soon began to settle in as Chaeyoung began to work her magic and goddamn it felt so sensual and hot.

Like by the end of it, you were ready to beg Chaeyoung to make you cum. And she was seeing how much you were liking it too. And she was smug about it, beginning to tease you, wanting to hear you beg.

It’s become somewhat of a tradition for you to eat Chaeyoung out after her concerts. Like, she works so hard in and for them that it gets tiring, stressful and a bit frustrating. So that helps her release all of it and helps her relax. Though she does insist that one orgasm only help with one of those emotions so you have to oblige and continue eating her out til she feels she’s completely at peace.

She leaves marks and hickeys all over your body. Though when you confront her about it she gets shy.

She likes to bite your shoulder specifically, especially if you are making her feel good.

If you tease her in public, she’ll be so very shy and against it but as soon as you both reach home, she’ll be all over you. “You are so silly Y/N, atleast wait til we are home”.

She likes dirty talking on occasions but will frequently make comments when the two of you are at it.

[v-era-18]

Red Licorice

Chapter Two: Death Calling

“You look so pretty in that dress (Y/n). Please do a little twirl for me.” - Ghostface

“Are you sure you don’t need more time to yourself at home?” Aunt Gia stood at the doorframe of the teens room watching the girl pack a duffel bag for the sleepover over at Sidney’s, “I understand your mourning in a different way, but I'm concerned with how fast you are going out and rushing the process. The funeral is being pushed back to Saturday and I think getting your emotions in order is a good idea.”

(Y/n) paused at the mention of the funeral, “Why is the funeral being pushed back? I thought they already approved the body to be transported to the funeral home?”

Gia sighed, “Mrs. Becker said something about them needing to examine her body some more. The officers are also searching and finding somethings in Casey and Steves rooms to see if there is any chance they may have crossed someone in order to be murdered.” Her aunt watched her face grow distraught for a moment letting a few tears slip loose before turning back to the duffel bag.

“She would want me to forget for a little bit,” The afro haired girl's voice was barely above a whisper, “Casey never wanted me to dwell on the negative for two long-“ She cut off her shoulders shaking slightly.

Yes it’s true that’s what her best friend would have wanted, but was it how she wanted to mourn her? The sleepover with Sidney and Tatum seemed to soon. They would never be replacements for Casey but she did really enjoy her time with her other friends. (Y/n) needed support and laughs right now, not to lose herself in her room on what could’ve been.

Her aunt let out a soft sigh, her eyes downcast as she looked at her niece. She was just worried-to much was going on in such a short amount of time-not to mention she still hasn't told her the news. That would have to wait a little while longer.

She promised her brother that she would take good care of her. Taking up many night shifts, providing the girl with endless amounts of food and movies to preoccupy herself at home to fill the silent void. They spent time together when they could on Saturdays, but she knew the girl missed being able to talk with someone each day.

So she’ll allow this sleepover for her niece to forget what’s going on for tonight.

“Your right I'm sorry, just pack what you need for the night and I'll drop you off,” Gia kneels before her niece placing a soft kiss on her forehead for good measure, “Just please be safe and make good decisions. There's a killer out there and you girls being at the house by yourselves puts my nerves on edge.”

(Y/n) gives her a reassuring smile, “Safety in numbers is what you taught me, I haven't forgotten.”

Her aunt smiled back before leaving out of the room to what sounded like the kitchen. Getting back to the duffle bag (Y/n) wanted to make sure she had a good option of movies packed along with her movie journal. She's watched the movies enough times to recite them simply by listening to the eerie background music. She only hoped Tatum wouldn’t find it bothersome-knowing she’d want to gossip.

The phone started to ring in the other room causing the girl to halt her task, “(Y/n)! One of your friends are on the phone!”

The girl frowned slightly, wondering why Sidney would call when they agreed on four o’clock being the meeting time. Hopefully something didn’t come up, she’d hate to go over Tatums with Dewey breathing down her neck.

The living room was spacious and comfortable, one of the girl’s favorite shows was on, with mellow colors filling the screen. The warm aroma of leftover rice and chicken seeped from the kitchen causing the girls shoulders to relax.

Walking past the deep brown couch she made her way towards her aunt standing with the phone, “Is it Sidney? Can I not come over?”

Gia shook her head with a teasing look on her face, “I wish. When you said you have ‘guy friends’ I was expecting that Randy boy-not Stuart little-“

(Y/n) quickly took the phone, covering the speaker, “Auntie!” Her cheeks were warm, heart thumping in fear. She didn’t want Stu to get any wrong idea about her, especially with how she felt for him in the past, “I got it from here.”

The older woman simply waved her hands in the air walking away, “I’m goin I’m goin.”

A chuckle emerged from the phone, causing the girl to smile, “whatcha need Mr Matcher?“

“Hey! You know it’s just Stu, (N/n),” Stu’s hoarse voice through (Y/n) for a loop, her heart racing and grip on the phone tightening. The boy sounded tired and strained like he just got done running a marathon. The girl won’t lie-it was attractive. “After all these years you gotta remember.”

“Yeah yeah, you know I'm just messin with ya,” She went back to her room with the phone and started planning out her outfit for school tomorrow. “But-uh-not to be rude or anything but is there a reason why you called?”

There was movement on the other end, a shout then his voice emerged once more, “Well precious, me and Billy boy got a couple of horror movies to try out this afternoon-and we were wondering if you would like to join us?”

The request caused the girl to pause for a moment, the request didn’t feel foreign just off. The last time she had a good horror movie night with just the two boys was over three years ago, before the status quo absorbed them causing them to slowly be on the back burner. (Y/n) missed those days when she'd go over Stu's house with Billy, the three would laugh and shout at the tv with the horrible scenes the directors could have easily fixed or made more interesting. It was one night where she told them her dream of being a horror film director, their reactions were a lot different from the girls-they gave her full support from the get go. Billy even asked if she wanted his dads old camera to practice shots, she turned it down even though he insisted.

“Earth to (Y/n)! You shouldn’t leave a man hanging here in suspense!”

“A-ah sorry Stu! It’s just…we haven’t done one of those nights for god knows how long,” she paused looking at a cute cropped juicy couture t-shirt before grabbing one of her dad’s flannels to match, “Forgive me for feeling a bit nostalgic.”

Stu lost his teasing tone, a softer one emerging, “I’m sorry precious, it has been a long time since.” The girl was too focused on how calming the voice was to acknowledge the nickname, “If you come over I promise we’ll make it worth your while! We’ll even get your favorite popcorn!”

A sad frown set on the girl's face, she didn’t want to turn her friends down but she already made plans tonight. She remembered what Sidney said about no boys, so a quick lie wouldn’t hurt. She would just reschedule, “My aunt unfortunately wants me to stay home tonight due to what happened in order to process….y-you know-“

“You don’t have to explain I understand-“

“No! I still want to do the movie night with you guys! I-is there anyway we could do it tomorrow?” (Y/n) heard whispers on the other end making her stomach do flips, “or if your busy tomorrow that’s fine we can find another day-“

“Tomorrow is fine. We’ll see you then.” It was Billy this time. His tone was abnormally short with her, almost if he was angry with her. And just like that the line went dead, causing the girl's stomach to drop.

‘How rude.’

☿

The two women pull up to the two story country home, the one where (Y/n) constantly dreamed of having in the future after stardom. It was a good acre of land, not to mention it seemed more private away from civilization-one thing she desired the most.

She thought about it often around tenth grade-maybe it was the teenage hormones catching up to her but she constantly thought about having a husband entrepreneur at the house with the kids; She would come home find her husband head laid on the back of the couch, her two sons laid on either side a horror movie playing on the screen in the background, the killers victims screaming bloody murder.

To whom might say it was a weird scene she desired to see one day-she found it euphoric. Sometimes she'd randomly talk about with Casey, she told her how she would envision her as the rich aunt soiling her nephews with gifts before they went shopping for their homes. Their husbands would play with the kids in the yard as they cooked dinner, talking about all they've achieved the past few months, maybe even some of their sexcapades. If there's one thing she's looking forward to the crazy amounts of sex she would be getting from her husband-a very far thought from the wholesome ones she had before.

Sidney came out of the house in time to see the two women roll to a stop in front of the residence. The brunette smiled at the sight of her best friend getting out of the car with her bag, heading to the front door waving good-bye to her aunt. The girl felt a weight lifted off her shoulders, after all the stress at school with the murmurs about the murder of her classmates she got to hang out with the girl she enjoyed hanging out with the most. Of course she wouldn't admit that to Tatum though.

“Hey! You brought the movies?” Even though the two of them hadn't mentioned movies through Sid's invitation, (Y/n) always had horror movies on deck when sleeping over someone's house, “Let me guess The Exorcist? Halloween-,”

The girl shook her head, curls bouncing, “Nope Friday the 13th! I felt like ogling Jason as he murders the camp counselors,” The two made their way inside the house (Y/n) sitting the bag down in the living room as she took off her shoes , “I also brought some candy if you want some!”

Sidney made a face, “Don't tell me it's some of that nasty red licorice you be eating,”

(Y/n) slowly put the bag of candies away a pout moved on her lips, “Well if you want to be rude you don't have to have any,” this caused the brunet to laugh, laying out on the couch flipping on the news channel.

“The entire nation was shocked today by the teen murders in North Carolina-”

Switch.

“The state Bureau of Investigation has joined forces with the local authorities to help catch what the Governor has called the most heinous-”

Switch again.

Sidney froze along with (Y/n) as Gale weathers appeared on the screen. Her teeth were shiny as ever, ready to twist her words for her fans, “This is not the first time the small town of Bayboro has endured such tragedy. Only a year ago, Mauren Prescott, wife and mother, was found raped and murdered…” The screen was soon filled with a black and white snapshot of a beautiful woman-Sid completely switched off the TV, her mouth growing dry from the familiar image of her mother engrained in her mind.

(Y/n) saw the girl discomfort before walking over and bringing her into a long hug on the sofa. She knew it had been over a year since Mrs. Prescott's death, she had heard the rumors although Sidney testified and she couldn't help but believe the accused rather than Sidney's view. The killer easily could have been a jealous wife or possibly another lover that got tired of her cheating, it was more logical to think that way.

“Do you wanna watch something else other than horror movies? I have some rom-com movies that Tatum likes-”

“No,” Sidney shook her head turning to her friend, “I invited you over so you could have a nice day from everything going on. Let's just get comfortable and pop the movie in.”

(Y/n) creased her brows in concern, “What about Tatum?”

Sidney got up and headed to the stairs gesturing for her to follow, “She has practice this afternoon, she'll join us in an hour. Enough time to get the first movie out the way before she starts complaining.”

“Mind if I take a shower first?”

“Yeah sure, it's next to my room , I have some towels in the closet next to it,” Sidney directed her to the bathroom, making sure the girl had everything she needed before going to the kitchen to prepare some popcorn.

In the shower (Y/n) made sure to take a long shower, using her scrubs, oils and even her favorite perfume before putting on the silk nightie that her friends adored. Today she was wearing black with white lace straps and trim. She thought it'd be a good idea to cheer up her friends and feel a bit normal with their routine as seniors. It was time to branch out and have fun. Strutting down the stairs (Y/n) got to the bottom to see Sidney on the couch popcorn on the table as she looked through the stack of movies she brought over.

“Oh your back I was thinking we could watch-,” The brunette's words cut off as she stared at the girl grabbing the pack of red licorice out of the bag placed on the table. Now Sidney knew (Y/n) was attractive underneath her baggy clothes she's seen her like this before, but without Casey or Tatum around she started to grow nervous. “I-I was thinking we could watch ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ after ‘Friday the 13th’ since it's only six right now.”

(Y/n) sat down close to Sidney, a smile on her lips, “Nightmare on Elm Street is the movie I usually fall asleep to, are you trying to tell me to rest while the night is young?”

Sidney laughed, “A little nap wouldn't hurt before Tatum arrives. You wanna watch the movie first?” The girl's voice hitch as the brown skinned girl snuggled up next to her, a smile of content on her face.

“Sure, I could go for a nap.”

The two girls placed the movie on and sure enough (Y/n) fell asleep within minutes, surprisingly Sidney didn’t. She was so focused on the girl laying on her chest and the peaceful feeling that came with it.

‘I wonder if Casey had moments like this with her.’ Sidney wouldn't be surprised if she did, just envious.

Billy never gave her this feeling nor Tatum-but she oddly wasn't complaining. Looking down at the girl on her chest she was able to take in more of her features, from her plump soft lips to her thick supple thighs barely covered with the dress.

The brunette smiled before the phone rang next to her, breaking through the movie being played on the screen. Sidney answered it with a huf, “Hello?”

“Practice ran late. I'm on my way,” Tatum's voice rang through the phone.

Sidney looked at the clock on the nightstand, “Its past seven, (Y/n) took a nap waiting,” She turned back to the screen watching as another victim was killed, “You need to be careful, remember-”

“Don't worry. Casey and Steve didn't bite the dust till way after ten.”

The brunette scrunched her face as she felt (Y/n) stir, “I'm not worried.”

“Good ‘cause I wanted to swing by BlockBuster and get us a video. I was thinkin’ Tom Cruise in ‘All The Right Moves’. You know if you pause it just right you can see his penis.” Sidney rolled her eyes at her best friend's antics, moving slightly to adjust (Y/n) in her original position. This only caused the girl to stir once more, her eyes opening slowly.

“Whatever, just hurry.”

“Bye ~” The phone line went dead with a simple click from Sidney.

“Was that Tatum?” (Y/n) yawned rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “I thought practice ended at six?”

Sidney huffed giggling slightly at the girls cute display, “Practice ran late she's coming tho-”

The brunette was cut off with another ring of the phone, the two girl looked at each other for a moment before Sidney answered it once more, “Tatum whatever it is it's fine just hurry up-”

“Hello, Sidney.” A husky voice spoke over the phone. (Y/n) overheard the man's voice and sat up straight, pulling from her friend's warmth.

“Hi, who is this?” Sidney greeted back slowly.

“You tell me.” Was all the man responded with. This left the two girls puzzled for a moment, they simply couldn't place the voice of the male-it was too distorted.

The brunette shrugged, slowly sitting up before snatching some popcorn from (Y/n)’s hands. The girl playfully glared in response, “I have no idea.”

“Scary night, isn't it? With the murders and all, its light right out of the horror movies or something,” At this (Y/n) practically laughed into the phone, her smile infectious.

“Come on D, I know it's you!” (Y/n) felt her heart hammer in her chest in thought of Randy trying to mess with Sidney instead of her, “Are you calling from at work or something? I’m sleeping over at Sids and Tatums on her way over.”

It was silent for a moment before the voice returned, “(Y/n), I hadn't expected you to be there,” It caused the girl to snicker a bit along with Sidney shaking her head, at this point the brunette turned on the lights of her house illuminating the space. The horror movie rolled its credits in the background with a slasher theme. “What’s your favorite movie, precious?”

The brown skinned girl faulted a bit, her skin growing warm with the nickname her alleged friend called her by, “Geeze Ran your voice is sexy when you talk like that. All you need to do is invite me to watch a Japanese horror film and I'm all yours.”

Sidney turned to the girl, her jaw dropping in surprise, never had she seen (Y/n) so bold with flirting-especially not to Randy. Sure the two were inseparable at times but flirting and speaking intimate wasn't what she was expecting. Sid swore Tatum wasn't going to believe it, not their two nerds finally making a move.

The male's voice quickened over the phone, making the girls neither regions pulsed slightly, she didn't want to think that way of Randy to think he was doing something perverted-perhaps he was simply shocked with her flirtation. So instead he decided to repeat the question , “What's your favorite scary movie?”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes playfully, “Randy we've been over this several times and you've heard me rant about my favorite,” The girl walked over towards the window, the yard at Sidny’s house looks beautiful from the angel brightened by the night sky. “Besides you know who is my favorite killer, the one that gets me goin’”

The voice hummed, “Oh really? Who is it?”

“It's Micheal, remember? Because of his rough upbringing?” Her lips pouted out to Sidney showing her disappointment that Randy didn't remember, “I can't believe you forgot-we had an hour conversation about it.” Her stomach hurt and twisted in turn she decided to hand the phone over to Sidney, the girl sending her a sympathetic look.

“Really Randy? What do want-”

“Are you two in the house alone?” Sidney rolled her eyes as she watched (Y/n) come back over towards the phone with a bag of licorice.

“That is so unoriginal. You disappoint me Randy.”

“Maybe that's because I'm not Randy.” The two girls paused looking at each other for a moment, one confused and the others eyes laced with fear. (Y/n) shook her head and Sidney tried to reach for the phone but the brunette simply walked away with it leaving the brown skinned girl to grab the remote and turn off the TV.

“So who are you?” Sidnety questioned.

“Sid! What are you doing?” (Y/n) hissed at the brunette, “Stop talking to the stranger!” The girl has watched too many scary movies to know how this goes, Sidney needs to hang up the phone and lock down the house and call the police.

“The question isn't who am i? But, where am I?” The voice responded.

It kicked the girl's survival instincts into overdrive, (Y/n) rushed to the kitchen grabbing a chef's knife and started locking down the windows. Sidney follows her, completely baffled with the girl's reaction, “So where are you-?”

“Sid stop-”

“Your front porch,” The voice informed, if she didn't know any better there was a smirk in his tone.

‘This is some white people shit.’

Sidney moves to the window pulling back the drapes, “Why would you be calling me from my front porch?”

“To see where your mind is of course!” (Y/n) moved to grab the drapes from Sidney, her frustration rising, “Sidney we’re literally in the middle of a killer possibly wanting to kill us-”

“You look so pretty in that dress (Y/n),” The voice basically purred into the phone, sending chills down the girl's spine, “Please do a little twirl for me.”

The brown skinned girl let out a frightful scream in response, Sidney standing still as the words sunk in as to what the voice over the phone had said. Either they were truly outside or Randy was taking this prank too far.

Fed up with the antics with the voice over the phone, Sidney took it upon herself to open the door heading out on the front porch, “Sidney, what the fuck are you doing?!” The brunette ignored her friend's desperation, looking around across the yard in the dead of night with so little light she had.

“Where are you-you fucking creep?!”

“Right here.”

Sidney looked around the yard again concentrating on the shrubs, “Can you see me-?”

“Sidney, for all that is holy get the fuck back in the house!”

Once again she ignored her, “Can you see what I'm doing?” Sidney stuck her finger up her nose, obviously trying to prove a point. A moment went by with no response from the voice over the phone sending the girls nerves on edge. She turned back to (Y/n) a reassuring smile on her face, “Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry. Bye now-”

“You hang up, you’ll die just like your mother!” The two girls froze in place, (Y/n) grabbing onto Sidney to pull her back into the house but the girl wouldn't move. The brunette was completely speechless, “Do you want to die, Sidney? Your mother didn’t.”

Having enough of the bullshit (Y/n) snatched the phone away, “Screw you mother fucker!” hanging up the phone (Y/n) dashes back into the house with Sidney, bolting down the door when she hears a sudden creak behind her-then a full on thud.

A scream rippled through the back of her throat as a masked ghost of man came barreling out of the hallway closet. A quick swipe of the knife was avoided as Sidney kicked the killer in the side, (Y/n) desperately trying to unlock the door. It was all for not as the brunette pushed her away with the man getting up for another round. Their only option at this point was to get the best of him or die, it was a horrible way to die when she thought about it.

Gripping the knife tightly (Y/n) rushed towards the attacker full storm and jabs the knife down leading the male to let out a guttural scream. Sidney took this opportunity to knock him back again, turning back towards the door and unlocking the bottom pulling open-only for the chain lock to get in the way.

“Shit!” The brunette cursed.

The killer got back up with an angry yell, launching himself at Sidney once more only for her to doge and grab her best friend-running up the stairs. (Y/n) took the initiative to split up, knife still in hand she hid in the bathroom as she watched her best friend board herself up in the bedroom. If her hunch was correct, Sidney would contact the authorities on her computer. She could hear the loud thumping of footsteps up the stairs causing her to hold her breath moving backwards.

A sharp sound echoed in the bathroom to cause the thumping to stop on the stairs, (Y/n) cursed quickly turning behind her to find the dropped item, before quickly making her way into the tub, drawing the curtain back quickly just as she heard the creaking of the door. Placing a hand over her mouth she tried to control her breathing to match the steps of her killer. With each thump she couldn't help but think of her best friend; ‘Did she hide like she did?’ ‘Did she live up to the cliche of hiding in a closet only to be pulled out and gutted open as she held onto the phone?’. The steps stopped in front of the tub, leading her to hold her breath in a big gulp, closing her eyes as she felt the curtains draw back a bit, the bathroom was dark, the curtain doing her justice against the far corner away from the door.

However luck wasn't on her side, the curtain was drawn back abruptly causing her eyes to widen considerably before she felt the cool feel of the knife against her neck. The white ghost masked man stared back at her, simply cocking his head to the side without uttering a word.

A simple command; get out.

So as any hostage would do with a weapon aimed at them, she obeyed, slowly holding her hands up and stepping out of the tub as he slowly backed up. The knife had been left in the tub as well. But what happened next is what ran her blood cold, he closed the door.

(Y/n) felt her breathing become uneven as she couldn't see the killer at all in the bathroom, only a tall dark silhouette of a shadow looming over her, daring her to make the wrong move. Asking her to make a mistake so she could be skinned alive. But she wasn't dumb, she knew not to anger the killer further, especially after she got done stabbing him. Sure, she was positive the cut was deep into his shoulder, but it wasn't guaranteed that she couldn't take him down by herself.

A hand gripped the side of her hip, shoving her against the sink with a gasp. The killer closed in on her-his breaths were heavy and deep; it possibly could have been from his wounds or frustration. At the moment it didn't matter as the girl shook in fear, a faint outline of white filled her vision before closing her eyes with a whimper as she felt the killer's body against hers.

(Y/n) froze when she felt the hand travel from her hip to her thighs-playing with the silk fabric along the way before slipping underneath. The hands were bare, the leather gloves gone; soft and smooth with calluses on what seemed to be his fourth finger and lower palm. He played with the hem of her lace panties taking a deep breath before removing his hands underneath her nightie, placing his hand on her face instead stroking the tears of fear away.

Alarm bells rang in her head as she came to the conclusion as to what he possibly wanted, “N-No please don't…” the hand seemed to pause for a moment before she felt a quick slow grind of the hips against hers, what drew her attention was the large protruding length against her thighs. He was excited, and was happy to show her how riled up he was. Never had she been so close to a male like this before, and most definitely has she ever felt them up close and personal.

“Please let us go,” She tried to reason with him once more, “I won’t tell anyone what happened here! Please just don’t hurt me…,” it was pathetic begging like this-trying to stroke the male's ego enough to possibly let her walk away.

‘All killers love to hear this pity party before swiping the blade down. We know better.’

But she couldn’t help but beg for her life.

All she received was a cock of the head, before she heard another scream in the other room. It was Sidney, she seemed to be talking to someone else, hopefully an officer or police. The only issue was that she was in her with the killer-the door closed-the man would decide whether she lived or died.

The male seemed to look over towards the door before putting his attention back to her. She felt something cool against her thigh before a sharp flame erupted through her entire being. She opened her mouth in an anguished scream only for her mouth to be covered abruptly, with her struggling against him. The masked man gripped her hip harder keeping her in place against the skink as he moved the knife up her thigh to underneath her skirt, teasing the panties slightly before cutting through. The soft silk fabric falling from her legs to the floor, the cool air hit her sensitive areas causing a slight arousal sensation to build; it was dangerous. She bucked and shifted her body against his only causing him groan before shoving her against the door face first.

Wet tears graced her face in terror ;was this man really going to have his way with her before he got arrested. It seemed plausible until the killer strolled forward, bending down in the tub and retrieving the other knife; following up to look at the panties near the sink, deciding to collect them as well. He gave her ass an abrupt smack before guiding her back over towards the tub, pointed down; a command to sit. She did as told in pain, she could feel the blood dripping down her leg as she looked up at her attacker who seemed to be sparing her.

She simply cocked her head to the side, confusion and frustration filling her features, “Why?” Her voice was small and scared, “Why didn’t you kill me?” He had every right to, she was going to tell the police everything that transpired, and there was even a possible chance he would be caught due to her description of him.

But the killer said nothing, simply opened the door and exited. There were sirens within a few minutes that could be heard along with loud footsteps heading up the stairs. But (Y/n) was too scared to tell them we’re she was, scared of the fact the killer hadn’t murdered her, only proceeded to feel her up and hint his true motivations towards her.

The way he spoke over the phone to the way he gently brushed her thighs-.

(Y/n) sobbed, wanting to rip the silk nightie off of her. She felt so dirty, she should’ve been ashamed of what had transpired but she couldn’t stop thinking of his bare hands.

A few footsteps came to a halt in front of the bathroom door before a faint knock could be heard, “(Y/n) is that you?” It was a female officer, one that she had never heard of before. She tried to answer back but only a soft wimped emerged from her lips causing this female to enter.

“Oh god,” the officer was brown skinned with straight hair, eyes almond and crows feet on the ends most likely from stress, “She’s in here! Get a med kit immediately!”

It seemed like a blur, the paramedics tried everything to get the girl to speak even as they treated the deep cut on her leg. It didn’t even process the pain inflicted as she was stitched up. All she could do was stare at the sink she was pushed towards to be touched against. She didn't allow any men to touch her, moving away each time they tried to stitch up the wound, it was convenient a female was present-and she was a lot gentler than the large men trying to grab at her.

Eventually she was guided to the ambulance quietly, only coming to a gilt when she heard the desperate voice of her friend. Sidney ran over, tears welled in her eyes before embracing the Afro haired girl in a tight hug, “Oh my god….oh my god I’m so sorry.”

The girl didn’t respond, only holding her back in response, desperate for another’s touch other than the masked ghost of a killer.

☿

Dewy sat back in his chair looking at the pink leather bound diary in shock. This information was either a huge lead or a very damaging revelation on who Casey Becker truly was-as well as her true feelings towards her classmates and friends. From what they learned in the diary many of the ex boyfriends, cheerleaders, and close friends were high suspects.

Especially (Y/n) (L/n).

The cop knew there was a high chance the girl was innocent, he was there watching her reaction as she was hung over the trash can mourning her friend. The frustrated expression on her face with the lack of suspects as well as her questioning in concerns of what she could do to help or simply aid in the funeral.

However, Casey didn’t see (Y/n) as a friend. She saw her as a potential lover. Lesbians weren’t uncommon in Woodsburror, but the Becker girl came from Christian parents. It was bad enough there were several instances of talking about the times she slept with boys in her school, but to top off the dreams she had of (L/n)? They were dreams any teenage girl would have of their future and to acknowledge that she was no longer here hit hard.

The man wished he didn’t read those entries, they were really personal. Around august the girl really got deep with her feelings in concerns of her friend, almost a revelation. It seemed like she was finally accepting her feelings, planning on how she was going to reveal and live with it, knowing she didn't like men no matter how much she tried to. He was more surprised with the entries on his little sister Tatum, the things the two both did weren't right, but hey he never would've guessed a frenemy relationship with the two.

Oh God. He was going to need a bulletproof vest.

If or when this reaches the news, a bomb was going to drop, and whether they were ready for it didn’t matter.

Officer Willy stormed into the room in a panic, “Riley! We got another situation on our hands!”

Dewey sat up in his chair alarmed, “What happened?!”

“We just received a message from Sidney Prescott's computer, the killer has struck again!”

[king-bumis-armpit]

What would your headcanons be for Modern AU Mai?

I could talk about Mai for hours! I have so many thoughts about what she would be like in the modern day. I’m working on a modern au fic right now, so consider this a little teaser for that ^^ This was my first time writing head canons, so I hope this is what you were looking for. 

First things first, music. I think it would be a big part of modern Mai’s life:

Her parents definitely made her learn some instrument as a kid, and she didn’t hate it as much as her other forced hobbies

As a teen and adult, she listens to metal, classical music, and top 40 hits indiscriminately. People always freak out when she recognizes Taylor Swift songs because they assume she’s too alternative for that.

But the truth is that she drowns herself in music and always has airpods in, so she listens to a wide variety. Because of her airpods, sometimes her parents think she can’t hear them, but she definitely can. She will play into this by waiting to respond to questions until her mom asks them a few times.

She also writes songs, but she has never shown anyone. Not even Zuko or Ty Lee. Her songs are the place where she feels completely safe to be emotionally vulnerable, so I don’t think she’ll show Zuko until they’re married. Alternately, I like the idea that he finds her notebook at some point after they live together.

There’s a song called “Think of You” by Rose Betts and I swear Mai wrote it about Zuko after one of their breakups. You have to listen to it! It will give you such Maiko feels!! OMG

Career

I think that Mai did very well in high school. Her parents’ invested in the best education of course, but I also think Azula would play a big part in her success. Azula is very motivated to be the valedictorian of her graduating class, so she makes Mai and Ty Lee study with her for hours. (Mai would have done just fine without Azula, but I think she would have cared less about school without the extra encouragement.)

In college, Mai has enough AP credits from high school to easily double major in Political Science and Philosophy. 

She becomes a professor of Political Theory at a small local school and all of her students love her. The job is a bit social for her comfort zone, but she loves studying game theory and political power structures. And working with students reminds her of her time studying with her friends. She accepts no nonsense in the classroom, but her quick wit and dry humor earn her a good rapport with her students.

On the weekends and in the summers Mai also works part time as a tattoo artist. This earns her extra coolness points with her students as well.

Zuko

Our emo cuties are still very in love

I envision them being childhood friends. Ozai is a big politician and Mai’s dad is one of his top campaign donors. So Mai and Zuko and Azula end up at all the same press events and become friends. 

They start dating in her sophomore year (his junior year) of high school and everyone thinks they’re not gonna last, but I say they do ❤️

When they’re teens, they fight because they don't know how else to communicate. They never learned properly for obvious reasons. But they also really value each other since they relied on each other during the hardest parts of their upbringing 

Sometimes they do take breaks in the early years of their relationship, but they rarely if ever see other people. Zuko uses the time to focus on himself and his mental health, and Mai uses the time to focus on her career.

They get better at communication with time and they don’t take each other for granted. Zuko proposes to Mai after her senior year of university (his first year of law school), but they opt for a long engagement and wait until Mai is done with grad school to tie the knot officially. 

When Izumi is born, Zuko and Mai are both fortunate enough to be able to take parental leave from their jobs for six months. They are determined to give her all of the love and support that they lacked. Despite her apprehensions about being a mother, Mai enjoys taking some time away from her busy lifestyle and building her family. (Nonetheless, she’s happy to return to work and have intellectually stimulating conversations again.)

Other Family 

Mai’s parents are SUPER wealthy, but she hates feeling dependent on them. I bet she’d get a crappy customer service job as soon as she's legally old enough to work so that she can have some money of her own saved away

Her parents set very high expectations for her in childhood, which she cares about less and less every year.

When Tom-Tom is little, she tries to counteract her parents’ messaging. They’re a bit softer on him since he’s the youngest, but Mai never resents him for it. She goes to all of his school events and little league games, even when their parents are busy. The two are quite close, even into adulthood.

[mirabellemoira]

any headcanons for nedalicent?

So. Uh. I know you said headcanons but I kinda went a lil crazy with it 😂 it’s practically an outline now

NedAlicent Headcanons feat. Jace/Sansa

- he’s a widower with 3 young children (so in his mid-20s at most). Rhaegar was one of Saera’s boys who came to put forth their claim at the council + was in the jousts as a mystery knight at the tourney that followed and ran off with Lyanna after. Brandon was killed by bandits in the search for her, leaving Ned to marry Brandon’s intended Catelyn and continue the search for their sister. Catelyn had Robb and Ned brought Jon home as his orphaned nephew. They had Sansa two years later, and Catelyn died of a fever a year after that.

- Because of Lyanna he’s very wary of Targaryens around girls and when he realizes that the king is seeing Alicent in the evenings he becomes very concerned for her well-being.

- There’s also a lot of irritation there because after Cat died his own bannermen tried to push their daughters his way.

- despite it being very against protocol he learns that Alicent is in the Sept and approaches her there, telling her he knows and asking if that is what she wants. She’s reluctant to answer and he can tell that she’s afraid of what could happen if she admits to being in the King’s presence like that. So, despite not wishing to marry again after Cat, he bypasses Otto and writes to Hobert Hightower asking for her hand. He couldn’t save Lyanna, maybe he can save her.

- Her father is unhappy with the match as Ned is the regent Lord of Winterfell until his cousin, Cregan, is old enough. Cregan’s own uncle had drunkenly implied to Ned that he planned to keep the seat and Ned had not let it slide, securing the seat for Cregan and becoming regent himself until he was of age.

Now that the backstory is out of the way…..

- She cries when she gets to Winterfell and finds Catelyn’s sept. She’d been afraid that she’d feel separated from her mother after she went north but she finds connection to her there. It also gives her hope that maybe she can be happy here. Even if she could only be cared for half as much by the man who built a temple to other gods than his own for his first wife, who he had not married for love, she thinks she could be happy with just that. It’d be more than she ever would had have with Viserys.

- Baby Sansa adores her and Alicent adores her back. It’s very healing for her to be able to nurture another little girl who lost her mother too young. When Rhaenyra visits they joke that Sansa could marry one of Rhaenyra’s sons one day, now that she’s married to Laenor.

- Robb and Jon are more wary but they don’t treat her any bad way. They’re young too, maybe 6 or 7, and eventually they warm up to her as they love hearing stories about dragons and knights. Cregan, older and solemn (around 9-10), pretends not to be listening but sometimes she’ll catch him smiling in the middle of a story

- Some of the older ladies at court had said horrible things about northern men and scared her before the wedding, only to find herself in a marriage where she’s treated with gentleness. He’s dutiful and solemn, yes, and no knight of flowers and poems and songs, but he’s kind. He invites her to bring ladies from the south with her so she won’t be lonely, orders dozens of books to be sent to Winterfell’s library to fill the gaps so she’ll never be without something to read, and never summons her at night like she’s some sort of servant.

- She’s concerned when she doesn’t get pregnant quickly but he tells her that there’s no rush. She doesn’t know he’s afraid of her being too young and dying like Lyanna, even though the Maesters say she’s strong enough

- he kisses her hand nearly every time he sees her and it makes her full-body blush, which is a sight he finds himself very fond of. He finds her hands so lovely and buys her a pair of new rings, one gold with a green stone so that she’ll always have a piece of home and another gold with moonstone for Winterfell

- they go south when Rhaenyra is due with her first child because she wants Alicent there and Alicent finds herself confronted with the harsh truth of what her life could have been if Ned hadn’t stopped her father’s plans. They see how the king ignores his new sons and daughter that he has with Laena, who has grown frail through multiple pregnancies, and when Alicent learns she’s pregnant while in the south she fears that Ned could treat her child differently from his older ones

- She’s not expecting to see his eyes full of tears of joy when Alerie is born and all her fears melt away

- After Alerie they have more children, Helaena, Brandon, and Rickon, and seeing Ned with them makes Alicent realize what love is and that what her own father showed her was anything but love.

- when the war comes, Ned rides south with Robb, Jon, Brandon, and Rickon, not only to support Rhaenyras claim against the Velaryons, but to defend their sister Sansa’s claim as future queen alongside her new husband Jacaerys.

I have a younger!Ned/alicent outline in my drafts as well but I’m going to hopefully actually write that one 👀 y’all it is ANGSTY she ends up still married to viserys and the dance perhaps still happens it’s a tragedy. This isn’t even a spoiler as it’s going to be nonlinear

[partiallypearl]

you wouldn't be the first renegade (to need somebody)

The lie eats at Ariana for days. She knows she’s wrong, that she should be honest with Jett and the rest of the team but she can’t bring herself to do it. Not with Grace breathing down her back, watching her every move. - Ariana struggles with ending her friendship with Grace, and her feelings for Jett.

taglist: @happinessismagicc @aliferousdreamer @zackmartin @catboykacchan @andi-mec

The lie eats at Ariana for days. She knows she’s wrong, that she should be honest with Jett and the rest of the team but she can’t bring herself to do it.

Not with Grace breathing down her back, watching her every move.

I just want to be part of the team, she thinks to herself before remembering that she’s the reason she isn’t.

It hurts, knowing this. She wants to be able to get frings with Jett, and to hang out with Adele and Olive and to watch movies with A-Troupe, but Grace won’t let her.

And the harder she tries to pull away, the tighter Grace’s grip gets.

“You can’t leave me,” Grace tells her, “or you’ll be like everyone else.”

Logically, Ariana knows it’s not true, that their friendship isn’t healthy, that it isn’t real anymore.

But she sees Grace’s pale blue eyes tear up and all the courage she’s built to stand up for herself disappears - like Presley.

It’s after her fifth and failed attempt at giving up her friendship with Grace that Ariana finds herself in Studio A, dancing through her feelings.

The pop song playing in her airpods keeps out any thoughts as she twirls and flips around the room, pulling random improv from her head. Her anxiety is alight, like a live-wire flowing through her.

She ends in a calypso leap, her chest heaving when she hears footsteps. She looks up, the blood rushing to her head as her eyes meet Jett’s. She takes out her headphones as Jett speaks.

“Hi.” Jett says, and Ariana gulps for air as she starts to calm down. Jett doesn’t look like herself with her hair down.

Her hair frames her face in loose curls rather than her usual tight french braids. She’s in a green satiny dress with halter straps, and wow Ariana knew she was muscular but holy shit.

Jett looks different almost, prettier. Not that she wasn’t already pretty.

“Hi.” Ariana says breathlessly, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Your uh, your hair is down?” She asks and Jett reaches for a loose lock, as if she had forgotten it wasn’t up.

“Oh yeah. I have my cousin’s debut - her 18th birthday party tonight. My mom’s getting off from work early to pick me up so I can go to Chesa’s to get ready.”

Ariana nods shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “You look nice. All fancy.”

Jett laughs, “Better hope my titas agree.”

Ariana laughs as well. They don’t speak for a moment before Jett walks over to her. “You okay?”

For a moment Ariana forgets that she had been frustrated before, just soaking in Jett’s energy.

“Yeah. I mean no,” Ariana says, her cheeks heating up under Jett’s scrutinizing gaze, “it’s hard to leave friendships. When they aren’t healthy y’know?”

Jett hums, wiping her hands on her skirt. “Yeah. I do. But I think you’re making the right choice. You deserve people who care about you.”

The like me, is unsaid, but Ari hears it all the same. Jett steps closer, and Ariana freezes, her heart pounding. The shorter girl takes her hand, squeezing it three times.

“You’re a good person Ari, and you’re my best friend. I love you y’know that right?”

Ariana nods. “I love you too.” Their eyes meet for a second before Jett’s phone dings, and she looks down at it. “My mom’s outside. I’ll see you on Monday!”

She squeezes Ariana’s hand one last time before running off, and Ari watches as her hair flows behind her as she leaves studio A.

She knows she has to do it. She has to tell Jett the truth, and soon.

Or she’ll be royally screwed.

[nowis-scales]

Sakura Birthday Headcanons

Let the record show that I did not forget Miss Sakura’s birthday headcanons, I’ve just been drowning in schoolwork lately. Nonetheless, they’re here now and I’m fairly happy with how they turned out this year, so I sincerely hope you enjoy them! :D

‣ In a critical healing situation, do yourself a favour and stay out of her way. Sakura’s not cruel by any means, but her personality can really change when someone is in critical enough condition. She may be teary-eyed and worried, but when it comes to getting this person what they need, she won’t hesitate to give orders and push people out of the way if they’re not helping. That doesn’t mean she never has compassion for a panicking family member or someone who doesn’t know what to do, but if you’re not someone who knows how to handle it, move along — this girl does and she’ll do it the best it can be done.

‣ It’s not an overwhelming anxiety on par with abandonment issues, but since Mikoto passed away, Sakura’s been… a bit nervous about death. Not so much herself — although that is something she occasionally thinks about — but the loss of her siblings and retainers. Before the events leading up to her mother’s death, death was a sort of weird, out of the picture thing. She knew her birth mother and her father died, and that was sad, but she can’t remember a time when they weren’t gone. Mikoto is the first time that death has touched something that Sakura loved so deeply, and knowing how to respond was difficult. I imagine she probably used to have dreams worrying about what would happen if one of her siblings or retainers was to get seriously hurt or injured, and what she would do if something happened to them. They were probably confused by the big hug they got the next day.

‣ Playing her koto is a calming activity for her. It sounds a bit cheesy, but she’s often able to lose herself in the music whenever she plays. She doesn’t need to worry about the troubles of the world, or think about all of the things that are running through her mind at any given moment. She can just focus on the music and plucking the strings, enjoying the familiarity of songs she’s played before and the sound of the notes as they reach her ears. Sometimes she’ll even try to make it part of her nightly routine for days on end, soothing herself with it until she feels ready to fall asleep.

‣ She knows it’s not good for her, but screw it, Sakura will eat dessert at any point in the day. If dessert is the question, then the answer is yes. Her favourite is mitarashi dango, but she’s also partial to mochi (any kind of filling is good, but she likes strawberries best), purin, and dorayaki. Though she’s a princess and is used to having these things made for her, she loves watching the castle staff and local bakers and confectioners make the desserts. For one birthday, Mikoto even made arrangements for her to get dango-making lessons with the rest of her siblings. Sakura was overjoyed and had a great time laughing and playing with her siblings. She secretly wants to try for another round after the war, this time learning to making purin (at least partially because she thinks watching Ryoma, Hinoka, and Takumi get increasingly confused by their inability to get the shape right would be amusing, though she’d never admit it), but she’s a bit shy to ask just yet.

‣ Unlike Takumi, Sakura has much less complex feelings about Mikoto’s longing for her lost child. Rather than feeling like she might be replaced by Corrin, Sakura more so found herself joined in Mikoto’s longing for Corrin’s return. Corrin was presented to her as such a dreamy concept, a long lost-sibling like in a fairy tale, so she didn’t think anything of it. She used to daydream a lot about what her lost sibling would be like, and what adventures they might have all together… and she definitely thought about how great it would be to see Mikoto overwhelmed with joy at the return of her child.

‣ As a princess, she tends to focus very much on the social and humanitarian aspects of her work. She’s technically expected to be a good hostess too, as well as a producers of heirs, she’s… not so into that first one due to her dislike of parties, and though she’s already gone through her coming-of-age ceremony, her family has no intention of marrying her off and getting her started on that… So she gets to do stuff that permits her to focus on improving life for people in Hoshido and caring for them when disaster strikes! She much prefers this to the other avenues she could take, although someday she hopes she’ll be at least half-decent at hosting parties — if only to make it less difficult to go to them.

‣ Sakura has the sweetest singing voice, and isn’t a bad dancer, either. She learned to sing from Azura when she was a little girl, and the two of them would often sing together as they did day-to-day tasks. Takumi, on the other hand, is the one who taught her to dance — he’s always been pretty good, so she got a real kick of dancing around with him then, too. She’s often too shy to showcase it, but she loves to do it in more private moments with friends and family. If you catch her singing by herself, though, she’ll probably turn bright pink and apologize.

‣ Sakura's dolls were apart of a family-wide birthday gift when she was about eight. It was a pretty cute gift, all things considered: it started out with just two dolls. One of her, and one of Corrin, from Mikoto. Then, as part of his gift, Ryoma gave the next. Then as part of hers, Hinoka gave the next. They all gave Sakura a doll as part of her gift so she had a collection of their entire little family, which she was absolutely delighted by. Everyone got big hugs and thank yous that year, and she’s treasured those dolls ever since.

‣ Sakura likes all animals, but she particularly likes bunnies. She loves how soft and fluffy they are, and likes their docile nature. She would love to have one as a pet, but there’s never really been a good time for her to get one. Instead she just feeds the wild rabbits that make their way onto the castle grounds, enjoying watching them munch their greens and twitch their sweet little noses.

‣ She was inspired to become a healer after watching Mikoto heal one of Takumi’s scrapes when they were small. He’d been scraped up pretty badly after a fall — the two of them were probably playing somewhere they shouldn’t’ve been — and he was bawling his eyes out. Sakura sat there the whole time, holding his hand, and watching as Mikoto kindly and carefully patched him right up. Sakura was so mystified by and envious of her ability to fix all of his wounds and comfort him that she begged Mikoto to teach her how. Mikoto thought it was a great idea, and offered to teach her, as well as hire her a tutor for when she wasn’t available.

[tealenko]

Didn't Have the Heart (Chapter 10)

Chapter 10: Later

Happy N7 day people (well, it's still November 7th somewhere in the world)

Anyways, here we are... It's done. I still can't believe it.

Wanted to post this today so perhaps there's a few mistakes I missed while editing it (this one is longer than usual), I'll catch them eventually, don't worry about it XD

Hope you like it!

(The dialogues extracted directly from the game are in bold, as always)

Summary: After many missions, Shepard finally has some time to rest, among other things.

Words: 8942 Rating: Explicit Warnings: give it up for shower sex people!!!

Read in AO3 -> [link]

Previous Chapter -> [link] All Chapters -> [link] Through Hell and Back series -> [link]

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Shepard remains still, seated stoically on a stool, with her mind so deep into her own memories that she doesn’t notice the door opening behind her, way too busy sinking into the past while staring at her drink.

Perhaps it is a sign, with the universe switching its gears in an attempt to distract her from her trance.

An unsuccessful one.

The shape of the glass shifts only to her eyes, morphing into a different one, filled with a different fluid, expanding its influence on its surrounding area.

The bright lights of the Normandy disappear to leave room for a dark bar. The air, unbothered by no one in reality, is gradually filled with thousands of voices, taking all at once, to form a constant background chatter.

Her hand taps the bar, just like it did years ago. But now, the sound is softer, weaker, no longer cutting through the dark room.

She always did that motion while waiting for her drink, tapping to the rhythm of whichever song was playing while her ring produced its own melody to accompany it.

“Here I am…” Tali’s voice manages to cross through all her memories, but it’s not enough to conquer her attention.

Her mind is still fixed on her own hand, but the ring is long gone, and as her head moves slowly to focus on it, she’s brought back to reality thanks to the undeniable truth left behind by her empty fingers.

“Shepard?” The quarian fidgets a little to adjust her posture, not knowing what else to do.

There’s a sigh there, before the commander’s eyes turn back to the drink, but she doesn't touch it, just glares at it for way longer that she’ll be able to recall later on.

This unilateral stare contest, that she starts to deem doomed the longer it carries on, meets a happier ending with the introduction of a new player onto the field, for third time's the charm and, with one last attempt, Tali finally manages to be noticed.

“Not thirsty?” She inquires, once she pinpoints the true focus of her friend’s attention.

Shepard’s instinctive reply is to fake a smile, but her words betray her before she’s able to shape them into a similar kind of deception.

“Way too much, actually.”

“Meaning?”

Tali already knows the answer, but she asks anyway, half surprised by her statement, wanting her to confirm it before believing it, and half curious to see if she will say, knowing Shepard’s record track of shoving her emotion deep into her soul so no one can ever see them.

It takes her a second, and a curse, muttered under her breath, but after a short pause to accumulate some courage, she finally starts talking.

“After last year… I kinda promised myself to not drink if I feel like I need it.”

Tali’s eyes flicker for a moment, hesitating to state the obvious before finally deciding to do so.

“Shepard… You drank your weight in gin just the other day… Mixed with ryncol, to make it even worse.”

“Yeah, because I wanted…”

Her hand moves slowly and grabs the glass. The lack of sound caused by the absent ring causes enough pain to startle her a little, but it’s not enough to crumble her focus and she’s eventually able to explain herself.

“There’s a difference between a want and need.”

A deep breath is followed by a deep gulp, pushing down both her thirst and the accumulated saliva, before she starts walking with decision to the other side of the bar and, without any further hesitation, dumps the contents of the glass on the sink.

“And I don’t wanna need it.” Shepard explains, feeling the tension leave her body as she releases the cup and turns to look at her.

“I see…” For a moment, Tali is tempted to push more on the subject.

Her eyes focus on her friend’s hands, recognizing the motion as one grabs unto the other in search of something that isn’t there.

She almost forms her words to ask about it too.

But, in the end, she doesn’t.

The return from their last mission starts to replay in her brain, and before she inquires, her own memory gives Tali a hint to understand the current state of her friend, recalling now in the present the situation that led her to do that exact same gesture less than an hour ago.

They’ve seen Shepard resting in between missions before, especially now that she’s so overworked, so the sight of the commander seated on a corner of the Kodiak trying to catch up with her sleep is not an unusual one.

What was new, this time around, were the nightmares.

Tali is glad she saw it before Kaidan, and that she wasted no time intervening, raising her tone of voice, to avoid him noticing it too, and to save her friend from her haunted dreams, managing to wake her up in the process.

As usual, Shepard faked nothing happened but, just as it does now, her body betrayed her, and her hands, unable to remain still, played the exact same motion she's witnessing in front of her eyes.

Anyone else would’ve asked already, eager to know the story behind it.

But Tali doesn’t.

More preoccupied by Shepard than by her own curiosity, and afraid of what engaging in such a subject may do to her friend’s moral and mental health, she decides to offer her a clear exit from the current topic of their conversation.

“Wanted to see me?”

Shepard gladly takes it.

“Yeah… Yes.” Her hands part ways from one another as she focuses on work. “Admiral Koris sent me some intel, he needs help evacuating some of the civilian fleet and we have some time before we’re ready to head to the reaper base on Rannoch.”

“You really should rest Shepard, you just been inside of a geth server. ”

“I know, I…”

Tali doesn’t let her finish.

“And before that was the Admiral’s rescue mission, and the whole dreadnought debacle with my people shooting at us… ” She sighs, a bit exasperated by her friend’s determination to save the entire galaxy on her own. “Keelah Shepard, you’re gonna burn yourself if you keep this rate.”

The commander laughs at her comment, which surprises her a little, and walks away from the bar to sit next to Tali.

“If you let me talk…” She starts explaining, deepening her smile while getting comfortable on her seat. “I was about to run by you the idea of Garrus being in charge for the next one.”

“Oh… I see.” Tali half says, both surprised and a bit embarrassed. “Sure, it’s a good choice.”

“I wanted to get your input, you see…” Shepard hesitates for a moment, realizing her words may imply two different meanings. “Because it’s your people, and all that.” She clarifies, before letting her mouth ruin the correction of her statement. “Not because of being with Garrus… I mean, being Garrus the one in charge. Not with… You know what I mean.”

After a few seconds of general awkwardness Tali decides to pretend she doesn’t understand why Shepard’s words betrayed her.

“Yeah…” Her voice is thinner than usual, but she manages to form one last sentence. “I’m okay… Okay with it.”

“Great, I’ll go tell him then.” Shepard replies, itching to run away from the room before she says something even worse. “Do me a favor and tell Liara she’ll be on that too, kay?.” She tells Tali, already leaving the room, eager to flee their conversation.

Her adversity to discuss anything remotely related to feelings is a well-known enemy for Shepard, a survival mechanism that, despite serving its purpose, doesn’t allow her to heal and move on from any of her many traumas.

Nevertheless, today she’s elated for its presence for, without her well too practiced getaway methods, she would’ve never made it to the kitchen area in time to witness the conversation she’s about to overhear.

“Fucking crazy…” She hears a loud thump from afar. “She’s gone fucking crazy.”

Another banging noise. Louder. Metallic.

“Shit…”

After a moment of silence, a low laughter starts to fill the air, and Shepard can’t help but to smile as a reply to that well known sound.

“Stop fucking laughing, Alenko.” She hears Garrus complain from the other side of the wall, imagining him grabbing his talon after hitting the table a couple of times. “It’s not funny.” She can almost picture Kaidan shrugging his shoulders in response to that comment.

“It’s a little funny…” He manages to tame his laughter but he’s not fully able to restrain the inner corners of his mouth, saying this with a soft smile on his face. “It’s your foot okay?”

Ahh… The foot, not the talon. Shepard thinks, correcting her own assumptions as she hears this.

“I’ll survive… It was just a… A…” The turian stops mid-sentence and groans, frustration building on his chest the longer he sees Kaidan’s peaceful reaction to the thing that’s driving him crazy. “Why are you this calm!?”

“Shouldn’t I?”

“She let the geth plug her into a fucking machine! Do you know what happened to the last person who tried that!?”

Despite not having witnessed it in person, the mention of the subject is more than enough to erase any kind of joy on Kaidan's face.

“I’ve seen the reports…” He replies slowly, with a somber tone in his voice, recalling the many horrors he’s read about Project Overlord and, more recently, Grissom Academy, and, as it is only natural, “Barbaric…” Is the only thing he is able to add to that statement.

“That’s what she signed in for, by agreeing with Legion.” Another hit, but softer, more controlled. “I swear, if I had been there…” Garrus’ voice raises once more as he focuses his anger on Kaidan once again. “Why didn’t you stop her?”

Instead of a laugh, this time around, he raises an eyebrow, while furrowing the other one, half confused, half in disbelief.

“Stop her.” He kinda asks, as one does when they think they haven’t heard something right. “We’re still talking about Shepard, right?”

The turian is about to complain but Kaidan resumes his line of thoughts before he’s able to do so.

“Like anyone has ever managed to stop her at anything, once her mind is set on it.” He laughs again although, this time around, the sound conveys something closer to defeat than to glee. “It's what has taken her here, after all.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“You’ve been here since the beginning of this madness, Garrus. Longer than I…” A quiver of sadness tints his voice for an instant. “Than any of us… I mean, you, more than anyone… You should be used to all of this.”

The silence falls between them as the turian processes Kaidan’s words.

“Yeah…” He says mainly to himself. Maybe living through all of it is what's causing this reaction. He sighs. Maybe I wouldn’t be this affected if I didn't see what happened to that poor kid.

There’s another groan there, but his inner rumble continues providing him reasons to calm down and, little by little, he starts taking Kaidan’s example of radical acceptance, managing to leave behind most of his anger.

But not all of it.

“Aren’t you mad?”

His friend takes a second to think about his question, almost frozen in place, as he focuses on examining his own inner turmoil so he can provide a true answer.

“I’m more worried than anything else.” He sighs, with a hint of defeat, before a smile quickly finds its way to invade his expression. “But I guess that’s also why I...”

Kaidan censors himself, but Garrus quickly understands what he was going to say. “Why you…”

Before he has the chance to let him know, Shepard decides to intervene.

“Hey guys, everything alright?” She’s aware of the answer, but it’s the first thing that comes to her mind, abandoning her hideout and reaching them in record time.

“No.” Garrus states right away, some of his anger about to return by her mere presence. “How could you…”

“I know…”

“The things we saw back when…”

“I know…”

“And with everything that’s at stake…”

“I know.” She cuts him one last time, casting away any opportunity his fury has to build once again. “I’m sorry.”

He looks at her in awe. Kaidan just smiles.

“Don’t get me wrong, it was the right call… But I see now why the experience could be… Triggering.” She touches the back of her neck, processing all the information she’s just learned before finishing her sentence. “I didn't mean to worry you. I apologize.”

Shepard doesn’t emote too much as she says this, but the novelty of seeing her express any modicum of regret out loud is more than enough to erase most of Garrus’ worries about the subject.

“I…” The turian sighs again. “It’s all right.” He surrenders, completely defeated. “Kaidan is right, I should know more than to expect you won’t do crazy things.”

Shepard grabs his shoulder lovingly, comforting her friend for a few seconds.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t do it cause I have a death wish, or anything of sorts, I swear. I’m just trying to do my job.”

“Yeah…” Kaidan tries to support her, but his tone of voice doesn’t manage to convey that he agrees completely with that statement. “You're just… Task oriented. ”

The three of them smile at this, with Shepard blushing a little because of it, tempted to reprehend his comment for a few seconds before abandoning the idea.

“Anyways.” She resumes talking. “I cannot make any promises, but I’lI try to tone down how, erm, task oriented I am.” There’s a second of silence, her expression remaining as stoic as it gets, but it isn’t good enough to fool Kaidan, whose smile deepens as he understands she’s about to go against all she just said. “But…”

“Oh, here we go again”

Shepard laughs for a few seconds but is able to start explaining their situation right after, laying out the technical issues and plans for the mission.

Despite the added responsibility, Garrus is quite happy to see Shepard step down on this one and let them work a little for a change, and the turian leaves the place with a smile and a hurried pace, switching his omni-tool on as soon as he starts walking away.

“You spend too much time with Garrus, Shep.” Kaidan remarks as he stands up, watching him leave the room. “Always glued to that thing… O did he take the habit from you?”

“You’re the one to talk. Mr I cannot take a five-minute break without reporting it to the Alliance. In triplicate.”

He moves next to her, resting his weight on the table while looking to the opposite side of the room.

“I’ve spent a lot of time with you too.” Kaidan leans, closing the distance between them even more. “Enough to develop some of your habits too.”

She smiles as an answer, engulfing him in an endearing look as she moves her fingers slowly, just enough to touch his hand ever so slightly.

“Yeah, it’s been years…” Shepard giggles as their eyes meet. “You should all be tired of me by now.”

She turns a little to face him, but Kaidan’s pose remains the same, half seated on the table facing the empty room. His body doesn’t react to the light contact between their hands either, but his smile deepens when her thumb starts caressing his own.

“No wonder you all snap at me from time to time…” She continues, maintaining her eyes locked on him. “After spending so much time together.”

Kaidan turns slowly to face her, contemplating her words before replying.

“Too much, for me at least…”

There’s a stern look on his face as he says this, but the few seconds in which he attempts to create some drama quickly betray him, and a rogue smirk paints his face right before finishing his statement.

“Or it’d be, if we were talking about anyone else.” He declares, half a whisper, half a prayer, as his hand finds a place to rest on her hips. “Never enough, if we’re talking about you.”

“I can arrange that…”

Shepard’s fingers travel quickly, finding a new place to rest on his chest. She’s about to close all distance between them, but her speed isn’t enough to prevent the inevitable.

“Later…” Kaidan’s hand moves on top of hers as he closes his eyes, summoning all the self-control he’s able to find in his body.

She blinks a couple of times as her brain processes the sudden turn of the mood in their conversation,

“Later?” Is the only thing she’s able to ask, with a tint of frustration and disbelief in the tone of her voice. “You have to be kidding me, Alenko.”

“Have some reports to fill...”

“Reports? Now?” Her words cut his, but Kaidan’s smile makes a triumphant comeback, painting his face now as he witnesses her reaction.

“Perks of being an Alliance officer, remember?”

Shepard groans, annoyed both but the end of their intimate moment and the reminder of her own responsibilities.

“Yeah, I have to do mine too. But don’t you wanna rest first?” There’s a hint of desperation in her voice as she speaks. “I don’t know… Eat, rest, perhaps take a break?”

Kaidan takes a moment to consider the idea, and to fake the smile away.

“I could use a shower…” He replies with a nonchalant attitude, hitting right in the bull’s eye with his answer.

“A shower, really?”

Half assuming her defeat already, Shepard stays unaware of his intentions long enough, so he’s able to exit the scene in grand style.

“Yeah, a shower.” He repeats, but the tone of his voice has gone to the opposite side of the scale, complementing the whispered remark with a sultry implication on his words. “But then again… Later.”

The tease, which is starting to feel more and more like an invitation the longer she thinks about it, comes suddenly to an end and, with a smirk on his face, Kaidan disappears in record time, leaving alone with her own thoughts.

Perhaps saying thoughts is inadequate, given the fact that she spends the next few minutes staring at nothing, her mind in a blank state while her body tries to catch up with what just happened.

But she’s alone nonetheless, except for the sensation of utter defeat that accompanies her after that exchange with Kaidan.

Nevertheless, not knowing what else to do, and after a quick yawn that her body seems to use almost as a cry for her to get some rest, she sighs and starts walking, heading to her cabin at an uncharacteristic unhurried pace.

Usually someone stops her whenever she intends to sleep but there’s a first time for everything and, perhaps because they don’t want to bother her, or they’re unable to pinpoint where she is if she isn’t running from place to place, she makes it to her room faster than ever, discarding her boots in two quick motions and falling to her bed without bothering herself to get rid of the rest of her clothes.

Shepard closes her eyes and prepares to sink into her dreams, feeling too tired to be even afraid of the nightmares that have been invading them for months now.

But the nightmares never come. She doesn’t give them the chance.

Her subconscious usually takes advantage when her defenses are low and has been infiltrating in most of her resting hours with different attempts of conquering her thoughts.

Today, they don’t wait until she’s resting to attack.

The moment she closes her eyes her memory fills the darkness with her own memories, and she’s instantly transported to the old bar once again.

“Detrooooooit!!” Her best friend called her, screaming from the other side of the room.

“Stop giving your money away and bring my drink and your ass over here! I’m thirsty.”

“See?” She shook her head a couple of times, doing her best to contain her smile as she pointed in his direction. “That’s what I get for befriending gin people.” Shepard laughed, hitting the bar, her ring causing a loud noise every time she hit it. The bartender joined her in her glee soon after, finally serving herself a whiskey.

She looked at Shepard with disbelief for a couple of seconds, still wondering how she got her into joining her by guessing her favorite drink.

“Okay, let's say I believe you. That you knew because we get along nicely…” She states looking at her glass. “How on Earth did you know I like it neat?”

“We couldn’t be friends otherwise…”

The bartender bursted into laughter, nodding her head energetically as she picked her drink, completely agreeing with her point of view.

“Oh my…” She said after a few seconds, clearing a tear. “Where have you been all my life?”

Shepard opens her eyes and sighs, still able to hear the voices of her two best friends on the air for a few more seconds before they vanish.

Her hand moves instinctively, once again, and once again there’s no ring to be found there.

I should ask him about it… She tells herself, missing the long-lost piece of jewelry even more than she ever expected, but she immediately discards the idea. Later, perhaps… Once this madness is over.

Shepard turns on her bed, and her body complains for a few seconds trying to get used to the new position, then she moves again, and again, and turns every few minutes, following the insomniacs’ well too known ritual of adjusting their posture in a never-ending cycle in a futile attempt of falling asleep.

On the last of her many movements, she lies on her right side, facing her wardrobe, but this time around, instead of closing her eyes, something calls her attention, as she glances at the puddle of clothes discarded in front of it.

Her formal uniform lies unceremoniously on the floor, right where she left it. She was so eager to get out of it that she took it off as fast as possible and never took the time to store it away.

Shepard sighs again, with mixed feelings bubbling in her heart.

A part of her is afraid that her past, and what that uniform symbolizes, is going to make a comeback and add to the many reasons why she cannot sleep right now, but thankfully the events that accompanied the last use of that uniform are bizarre enough to prevent it from happening.

She keeps staring at it, still in disbelief that she managed to get out of the meeting with everyone still alive, with the replay of the many voices screaming incoherent things inside her head.

And just as it happened back then, in search of some inner peace, her mind quickly finds a distraction in the same subject as it did on said day: Kaidan.

Shepard starts replaying her fantasies, reprising the whole memory of the meeting room, its table, and the many fantasies she conjured in her head, adding even more to it, even toying with the idea of being Kaidan the one that got her out of that outfit, instead of herself.

Her mind travels through this route for a while, unknowingly adding more to the pile of things that are keeping her from sleeping, but way too distracted to realize it.

By the time she’s able to pull herself back to reality, all the tiredness has left her.

She sits up and sighs again, still staring at the clothes and, after a few seconds of battling herself, she makes a choice.

It takes Shepard less than a minute to make it to the starboard observation, walking now at her usual pace, or even a little bit faster, perhaps afraid her rational self is gonna force her to change her mind.

But she doesn’t.

Instead, she steps into the room with determination, not even questioning that she hasn't showered for a while now, the state of her hair, tangled after wearing a helmet that doesn’t quite fit her for hours, and that her clothes should’ve been washed a few days ago.

None of it seems to matter. The simple prospect of seeing Kaidan is more than enough to sink all of her instincts and let her own wishes move to the first place in her priority pipeline, a thing Shepard hasn’t managed to do in a very long time.

Nevertheless, and to her dismay, he is nowhere to be found.

She enters the room with care, almost as if that is going to make him appear out of thin air, which obviously doesn't, but gives her the opportunity to examine the space now that Kaidan isn’t there to distract her eyes.

There’s an array of datapads displayed at the table, all arranged in perfect position, letting her know he’s already written all of his reports, unlike her, and knowing him they’ll be completed to more than perfection, unlike hers.

“He’s not here…”

Her natural reaction is to sigh again but, when she’s about to do so, her mind feeds her a small nugget of information at the best time possible.

“The showers.” She reassures herself, remembering his last statement before walking away. “He wanted to go to the showers…”

With unmatched determination she starts walking once again.

~

“Shepard, the women's restroom is on the starboard side of the ship.”

She stares at the closed door and activates her omni-tool, quite ready to unlock it before her mind reminds her she could be wrong about Kaidan’s location and, above all, there could be more people than him in it.

“Anyone inside?”

“No, Shepard.”

The disappointment is about to hit her, but it’s quickly replaced by embarrassment as she realizes she could’ve asked EDI about his location a few minutes ago instead of trusting her instincts.

“Do you know Alenko’s location?”

“Hey…”

Turns out her instincts were right.

With her right hand still in the air, omni-tool ready to override the lock of the door, she turns slowly to find Kaidan smiling, holding something similar to a gym bag in one of his hands and carrying a long towel on his left shoulder.

“Logging you out, Shepard.”

If she was embarrassed before, there’s no words to describe what she feels now, or to excuse her behavior. Luckily, she’s found out that she doesn’t really need them with Kadan for him to understand her, so she just sighs for the millionth time and mirrors his smile with one of her own.

“You weren’t in your room…” It's all the explanation she gives him.

“Not really my room, remember? I only sleep there because they chucked the cot they found on port observation in there when they redid the design of the ship, but technically I should sleep in the crew quarters.” He points at his bag. “The locker with all my stuff is still in there.”

“True…” She laughs, turning to face him as she deactivates her omni-tool. “I sometimes forget… Since you hardly ever spend time in there.”

“Well…” Kaidan takes a step forwards, his smile morphing slowly into a grin. “I haven’t been spending much time in my room either.”

“Erm…” He gets so close so fast that her first instinct is to step backwards to regain territory, but she quickly finds herself trapped against the door of the restroom.

“So, what do you want?” Kaidan asks her, lowering his head closer to hers, leaning enough to press one hand against the wall.

“Kai…” Shepard rests one of her own against his chest, desperately seeking to maintain as much distance as possible to avoid her heart from imploding inside her chest while in the middle of a corridor of the ship. “Anyone could walk by…”

He smiles, toying with the idea longer than she would’ve ever expected him to consider but backs a little in order to give her a fighting chance. His hand, nonetheless, remains where it was.

“I mean why were you looking for me? New orders?”

Shepherd curses herself as she blushes, knowing this time around, unlike many times in the past, his choice of words had the intention to create the reply she just gifted to him.

Nevertheless, putting to use her well-known self-control, Shepard’s able to put it all aside for the time being and relax enough to give him a coherent answer to his question.

“No… Well, not really.” She states as her mind goes through a to do list and makes sure all their current fronts are being taken care of. “Just wanted to see you.”

Without even trying, her comment finds a direct path to strike his heart.

Kaidan’s head falls downwards a little, suddenly defeated by the truth interwoven in such a simple and unthought statement.

“Perhaps was a mistake…” She laughs a little, not knowing very well how to reply to his reaction. “Some of us still have work to do.” But the moment she starts to lay out her escape, he’s ready to go back again into the game.

“Work?” His head rises to meet her eyes. “What work?”

Shepard needs a moment, mainly to remember how to breathe, but finally replies.

“You know, reports and stuff…”

He gets closer, leaving almost no room between them.                

“Reports and stuff?”

His head lowers once again, but this time around it gets further than before, to the point where moving any more would surely lead to a kiss, lips almost caressing each other, but not quite touching yet.

“Hum.”

Kaidan knows he should ask permission. Wait for a confirmation. Anything.

But that gentleman’s side of him, that Shepard is always teasing, is not fast enough this time around to stop his body before he’s able to say something about it. So, with just a quick motion, his left arm opens the door of the restroom while the other wraps around her, to avoid her from falling to the ground.

Before she has the time to know what's happening his lips are on top of hers and, as he kisses her, Kaidan starts to push them until said doors close behind him.

Despite the initial eagerness he’s able to stop for a moment, a mere second of pure silence, where they break apart and stare at each other, his eyes looking now for that confirmation to the question he wasn’t able to ask.

Neither does he now.

With the tension increasing to heights never seen before, Shepard throws away whatever little intention she harbored of finishing her work and quickly closes the distance between them once again.

Her movements are so precise and fast that it takes him a little by surprise, his bag and towel quickly forgotten, abandoned as they fall to the ground as she pulls him further into the room and starts to undress him.

Kaidan skillfully locks the door with a free hand, deactivating it with his omni-tool, before quickly joining the other one to take off all of her clothes with expertise.

Their well-adjusted combat and training rhythm comes in handy more than ever, as most of their garments start to hit the ground, undressing each other with an unmatched coordination which allows them to fulfill the task in no time.

Her hoodie goes away first, quickly followed by his jacket and t-shirt, which doesn’t stay alone for too long and, continuing that intense tempo, they are both completely naked by the time Shepard resumes her attack.

Instead of slowing down, things get even more frantic and, having now the ability to touch each other’s body without any kind of barrier between them, any trace of responsibility or control is more than erased from their thoughts, way too busy losing themselves in caresses, kisses and moans to be able to remember there’s a whole universe outside of that room. 

With all hesitation now forgotten, and taking her actions as a confirmation, Kaidan’s hands travel now decisively through all her body until they find her ass, taking a moment there before anchoring them to her legs so that he can pull her up in one quick move.

The motion seems almost effortless, despite Shepard’s height, and she cannot avoid but smiling after seeing how easy it was for him to lift all of her weight.

Her legs wrap around his body in search of stability just in time before their lips meet again. The kiss is long, deep, almost desperate, and is quickly followed by another the moment this one ends.

One more after that one, as usual.

And while they are on the fourth, or perhaps the fifth, he starts moving forwards without breaking the contact, carrying her with decision towards the showers.

Surprises love company, especially in twos and, as many people know, good things usually come in pairs.

She couldn’t pinpoint what happens first, even if her life depended on it, but just as her upper body hits the cold wall, with her legs still wrapped around Kaidan as this one continues his attack, the water starts falling without warning, pouring on them with the same strength that they’re crashing against each other.

She gasps, he giggles, but the sudden activation of the shower’s sensor, and the consequent stream of falling water, isn’t enough to cool down their feelings and, unbothered by the constant cascade, the touches and the kisses continue while this one insists on rinsing their bodies.

Shepard concentrates on his neck for a while, laying an array of bites and kisses as her hands dig deeper into his skin, welcomed by soft moans every time her nails leave a trail of their presence onto it.

With most of her weight now resting on the wall, Kaidan is now free to move the hand that was holding her to places where it’s more wanted, traveling through her body as if this was its first time exploring it.

The wall she’s leaning against is extremely cold, and the constant flow of water is now close to boiling hot, but despite all this, the only thing she’s able to register is the temperature of Kaidan’s touch.

The more his hand roams her body, the less she cares of anything else, and to add even more to the intoxicating exchange, just as she thought it couldn’t get any hotter, Kaidan rests more of his weight against her, and the wall, moving enough to free himself a little as his erection finds a new place to rest.

Her head falls backwards, and she giggles, distracted now that she can feel how hard he is, with her ass gracing him ever so slightly every time any of them move.

“Kaidan…” 

The mention of his name makes him cease in his attack and, without losing the contact, his head leans a little backwards too so that he’s able to look at her.

The water falls on both of them continuously, but mostly on his back now that he’s covering her even more, so its flow isn’t dense enough to block his view.

He smiles, frozen in place, as he takes a second to witness the marvel in front of him, moving only his hand so that his view isn’t alone in its travels.

The first destination is her hair, angelic even in this situation, still wavy, despite the water, moving the golden strands behind her ear to have a better vision of her face.

That’s the second stop, from the emerald forest of her eyes to the pinkish valley of her mouth, his sight drinks in the view before stopping on that last one and, with his thumb parting her lips with care, a third companion joins in, with his tongue now more eager than ever to taste hers.

Kaidan loses himself in her mouth while his hands find their final destination, one supporting her and the other himself, taking a moment there before guiding his body into the depths of her own.

The motion is excruciatingly slow, and the pause that follows it takes even longer.

Shepard’s hips start to move on their own, desperate to deepen the contact even further, but his hands quickly anchor on them, stopping the move as he strengthens the grip.

“Easy there…” His comment makes her giggle, giving her the chance to see him in all his glory through the continuous stream of water. “No rush.”

Seeing Kaidan like this, concentrating so that the moment lasts as much as possible, makes her want to move even more, but she tames her own eagerness as best as she can and lets him take the lead. This uncharacteristic display of patience from Shepard, when it comes at least to these situations, is quickly rewarded with a very favorable outcome.

The unbearable pause finally comes to an end and, after a quick moment to breathe, he starts moving.

There’s a novelty in the way Kaidan approaches the situation: more careful, meticulous, taking the time to make sure every single decision he makes is the one that will please her the most. His body waves gracefully as he deepens their contact even more, thrusting in a slow and heedful pace.

The desperation quickly shifts into something else and the more the moment lasts, the more she loses herself in it, until the few remnants left of her eagerness are completely buried by all the pleasure building in her body.

By the time his tempo starts to catch up with what she wanted it to be at the beginning, Shepard doesn’t care anymore, already done and undone too many times to be even able to count them and feeling like her whole being will combust at any moment, unable to hold so much bliss within herself.

All traces of caring about anything or anyone else are immediately lost too, as her moans fill the room, with all intentions to focus on him completely annulled by his triumphant attack. So, after a few failed attempts, she finally gives up and lets herself go at complete mercy of Kaidan’s touches and kisses.

His speed rises even more and, if she was still able to feel anything else, her back would start hurting by now, after being submitted to so many hits against the wall. Nevertheless, she doesn’t feel a thing, all her brain too concentrated on her own pleasure to be even able to register an emotion so opposed to this one.

“Mio…”

He doesn’t realize it either, too busy balancing her enjoyment with his own to focus on anything else but the way she tightens around him after every moan and the way she moans after every move.

“Yes.”

Her hands strengthen the grip around his neck, almost as if her body wanted him to be even closer, deeper. Her hips raise the speed against him but, this time around, he matches it instead of stopping her, placing one hand on the wall to balance himself as he crashes her against it, ramming now with all the strength he’s able to summon.

“Ye…”

The word abandons her before she’s able to finish it, all ability to speak completely forgotten as a thunderstorm of bliss quickly conquers all her being.

The sound is not necessary. Kaidan can feel the height of the earthquake that has hit her just by the way her body tightens around him, his movements becoming erratic by the second because of it.

“Fuck.”

With whatever strength is left inside him, he’s able to move long enough to reach the same heights as her, dedicating all he has left to his final thrusts as his movement comes to an end.

They remain frozen for a while, trying to remember how to breathe as the water keeps falling on top of them but, after the much-needed moments to come back to reality, he helps her get down to the ground with care, dedicating her a sweet smile before planting a kiss on her forehead.

Shepard used to have a hard time knowing how to react to this part of their relationship, the tenderness that comes once the physical connection is over, but right now, completely satisfied and in his arms, it only comes natural for her to mirror his smile and just kiss him one more time, and so she does.

Not being one to miss an opportunity, Kaidan quickly grabs the shower gel and offers her some and, just like that, their moment of passion morphs naturally to something more casual and sweeter, taking turns to clean each other before finally stepping out of the shower.

“Here.” He covers her with his towel, realizing she doesn’t have one. She reacts right away, not wanting him to freeze either, and quickly brings him into a hug and covers him too, letting her face rest against his chest.

Shepard hums for a second, feeling both utter happiness and tiredness in equal parts.

“Shame we can’t stay here…” Kaidan adds, deepening the hug.

“Yeah.” She comments as she proceeds to break it apart, beginning to feel quite cold because of her dripping hair. “But alas…”

“I know, I know…” After gifting her one more smile they pull away from each other and she starts to dry herself while he gets dressed.

Before she has the opportunity to dread the fact that she’s gonna have to put back on her filthy clothes he hands her the sweatshirt he was going to wear, along with a clean pair of socks and his boxers.

“That’s all I can spare.” He adds to the offer.

For a moment she contemplates the fact that Kaidan is going commando right now, and the many jokes and opportunities that could lead to, but too tired for any of these to come to fruition, she gratefully takes the offer and gets dressed.

She has some clothes of her own stored in his room, so they don’t need to travel very far for her to change, or at least to try to do so.

“You can keep them.” Kaidan offers, once they’re inside the starboard observation, pointing at what she is wearing.

“Yeah right, and I’m gonna walk through the entire ship looking like this.”

Shepard is already walking towards the box she stored in one of the bookcases, but she isn’t able to get too far before Kaidan’s hand stops her, grabbing her wrist to keep her in place.

The gesture makes her turn, finding a warm welcoming smile as he approaches her to close any distance between them, surrounding her body with his arms.

“I think you look amazing...” He replies, almost whispering, winning him a small laugh from her.

“You know what I mean, Alenko.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Kaidan agrees but remains the same, with Shepard still locked in the embrace that keeps her from changing her clothes and, consequently, leaving him. “I know.”

She waits for a while before attempting to pull apart, not wanting to break the hug either.

“Kai…”

“You could stay.” He adds in the softest tone of voice she’s ever heard. “You know?”

“I have work left to do…” Shepard replies right away, trying to convince herself as well as Kaidan.

“You can do it here.” His hand moves her hair ever so slightly, traveling to her face right after in order to remove a few rogue droplets of water.

“Right…”

She knows she won’t get any job done if she doesn’t leave, but all her being is screaming at her to do the opposite, unconcerned by her many obligations.

No… She says to herself, finally making up her mind, deciding once again to put her responsibilities before her own wishes.  I have to.

“I should…” That’s all she manages to say before he interrupts her.

“Stay.” Kaidan states, with too many emotions in his request to pinpoint it to a singular feeling. The grip on his face tightening a little as his eyes set on hers. A mixture of sorrow, hope and decision, all combined into a single plea. “Just stay.”

And Shepard cannot do anything else than agree.

“Okay.”

And just like that, she saves him.

Kaidan smiles like a kid who’s found an empty glass of milk and remnants of cookies the morning after Christmas, planting a peck on her cheek before walking her further into the room.

She looks at the mountain of datapads for a moment but, instead of starting her work, just as she expected, she just collapses on the sofa and waits for him to join her.

And just like that, the words start to flow.

They spend some time talking, nothing war related, of course, mostly commenting on trivial things that happened in the few years they were apart from one another, until the weight of her own eyelids starts to betray her.

“You should rest for a while.”

“But…” Her complaint is lost in the air as he replies to it before she’s able to complete it.

“You can do that later, Shep. Rest for an hour or so.” He stands up, leaving her as much room as possible on the couch. “You won’t be able to write anything coherent either way.”

She laughs at his comment, assuming defeat.

“Perhaps, you’re right…”

“You know I am.”

“Kay…” She finally agrees, sinking into the sofa as she says this. “Wake me in an hour?.”

Kaidan leans forwards and plants a kiss on her forehead, her eyes already closed by the time he replies. “Sure.”

~

“Shepard!”

She’ll always remember how it felt, hearing her name coming out of his mouth with a mixture of relieve and fear.

“Distress beacon is ready for launch.”

Her dream shakes as much as the original Normandy did on that day, replaying the cursed memory with painful accuracy.

“Will the Alliance get here in time?”

His voice was loud, yet unsure, doing his best to control his fears, she imagines.

“The Alliance won’t abandon us.” They did… “We just need to hold on. Get everyone onto the escape shuttles.” We didn’t.

Another tremor, another hit.

“Joker’s still in the cockpit. He won’t abandon ship.” Don’t say it. “I’m not leaving, either.” No.

Anything but that.

“I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttles. I’ll take care of Joker.”

“Commander…”

It took her some effort, but she managed to reach him after a few seconds.

“Here.”

Without any kind of explanation, she reached into one of her many pockets, taking a small object and placing it on his hand.

Shepard wasn’t big on words, especially back then, but the gesture came to her as natural as it was to breathe.

“What’s this?” Kaidan asked, looking at the silver ring that rested on his palm, his fear and frustration a bit shaken because of it.

“It’s the only thing I own.”

She knew, with certainty, the expression he must have had underneath his helmet, his soul plummeting to the ground with truth that came interwoven in that statement.

“I can’t…” He didn’t have the chance to decline the offer before she let him know the true intentions behind her gesture.

“I expect it back.” Shepard clarified, closing his fingers around the piece of jewelry. “Okay?” He nodded, in understanding.

The ring was a symbol, a promise. An assurance that they would meet again after the chaos was over.

We didn’t.

“Okay.” He agreed, heart shrinking inside his chest as she started to get away.

“Kaidan. Go.” One last second of hesitation, last deep breath. “Now.”

“Aye, aye.”

~

Her journey back from the valley of her dreams isn’t as convulsed as usual this time around. Instead, reality takes its time to welcome her as she leaves her memories behind, being gentler than ever as her eyes get used to her surroundings.

She smiles softly, finding herself resting in some cushions that weren’t there when she fell asleep.

“Kaidan…” He hasn’t only placed the pillows, as she discovers once she moves, noticing now the blanket that is sheltering from the cold room.

Shepard sits up and lets her head fall a little backwards, taking a moment to put her mind in order before getting back to work.

After one quick look at her empty hand, she finishes putting away the blanket and stands up, stretching a little before checking her omni-tool.

The view definitely takes her by surprise.

“Five hours!?” Her body moves instinctively searching for Kaidan, all appreciation quickly forgotten and getting replaced by anger. “Shit.”

What she finds manages to banish both sentiments right away.

Kaidan lies on one side of the room, passed away on his cot, surrounded by piles of datapads and an empty cup of coffee.

“Shit.”

She doesn’t need to revise any of it to know he’s done all her work while she rested, but she checks it nonetheless, feeling guiltier with every single thing she revises.

“Ay, Kai…” She kneels next to the cot, and stares at him for a few seconds. The smile returns before she has a say in the matter.

Taming the inner corner of her mouth she lets out a low sigh and kisses him tenderly on his forehead.

“Rest now…” She whispers to him. “You’ve earned it.”

Summoning all her strengths Shepard gets away from him and, after covering him with the blanket that was sheltering her a few minutes ago, she decides to get dressed and take off, not wanting her presence there to wake him up.

Aw, thanks, but next time--wake me.

She’s one step away from her clothes when the memory of those words hit her and, after a few moments of hesitation, they manage to annihilate every intention she harbored of leaving, making her step backwards towards him.

A sigh, a groan, and finally, she surrenders.

“Fuck it.”

Shepard walks with determination towards his cot and, before she has the time to regret it, lies next to him, grabbing part of the blanket to bury herself underneath it.

“Hmmm…”

He replies to her presence right away, moving his arms to shelter her in his chest and bring her as close as he’s able, taking in her familiar scent as his face finds a resting place on her forehead.

Kaidan hugs her with so much intensity that there is no hint of space left between them, allowing her to hear his heartbeat as it crashes against her with the strength of a jackhammer.

“Sorry for waking you…” She murmurs, making his smile deepen even more.

Shepard isn’t expecting an answer, but she receives one, nonetheless.

“Glad you did.” He replies, taking a moment to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Huh…” She mirrors his expression a little, feeling a bit better after seeing his reaction.

There’s a mix of happiness and guilt brewing inside her, but Shepard is determined not to let all that ruin this wonderful moment. Kaidan, on the other hand, feels the luckiest man alive, his only concern being controlling himself to avoid crashing her between his arms.

Despite being physically impossible, all his body wants is to be even closer, to hug her even more, to hold her even harder. Make sure that she’s there, that she’s real.

“I love you…” The whisper comes out of his body as easily as it is for him to breathe, as if there wasn’t anything else to say but this. “You know that, right?”

Her hand starts caressing his back with soft movements, Shepard finding it easier to express her feelings with her body, as always, instead of her words.

“Yeah…”

He doesn’t expect her to say anything else. And she doesn’t.

They both know it by now: he is in love with her, she is in love with him, he needs to say it or he’ll die, and so will she if she says it.

So she doesn’t.

Instead, they stay completely quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s presence, until Shepard finally breaks the silence.

“You shouldn’t have done my reports, Kai.” She frees herself enough to look directly at him, letting him know she's serious about this. “You need to rest as much as I do”

Kaidan stares at her for a few seconds, finding her reaction even more amusing than usual and, after a moment of consideration, starts covering her with thousands of kisses, vanishing away all her worries as they get replaced by giggles.

“Worth it.” He adds as he gets on top of her, planting a few more pecks though her face before letting his forehead rest against hers.

Kaidan smiles, in utter bliss, nuzzling her nose with his own, finally getting a soft smile on her face that she immediately attempts to cast away.

“I'm serious.” Shepard complains, failing miserably to control the inner corners of her mouth.

“So am I.” Kaidan props himself up a little using his arms to have a better view of her. “Believe me.”

They stare at each other for a few more silent seconds, half smiling half in awe, their hearts calling one another until she finally makes a move.

Shepard’s hand rises slowly to land on his face, caressing it with her fingers before dedicating him a grand smile, finally surrendering to him.

“Still…” She adds as her last remark, adding a sight before completing her sentence. “You should've woken me up.”

Her glee deepens as Kaidan mirrors it, looking at her like she was the only light left in the universe.

A star, shining bright to guide him through the darkness.

“What can I say…” He finally replies, taking one last moment to leave a kiss on the palm of her hand. “I didn't have the heart.”

-------------------------------------------------

Yaaaaay~~~ Not gonna lie, I didn't think this would take me so long to finish, so I apollogize for making you wait (life's a bitch, what else can I say) but I told you I would finish it and here we are.

I truly love the outcome, re-read all of it before writing this chapter and, perhaps I'm biased, but I have no words to describe how much I like the end result... I'm so fucking proud of myself right now.

Next work in the series already has a name in my fic folder: Paint a Blue Town Red. It's going to focus on the Citadle dlc and all that stuff. Oh, the whole deal with the ring and the conflict with Garrus will be solved in that one. It'll take me a while though, need to show some love now to my Tomb Raider fic

Anyways, thank you for your patience and your support. Hope you liked it as much as me. Have a lovely day.

~tea