#femshep x kaidan

[spacevixen2024]

"Don't leave me behind" 😭

[ooachilliaoo]

Mars

Their battlefield rhythm was all wrong.

He felt it in every step they took on Mars, in every word, in the tight, clipped, tone of her voice, and in the way that she never quite met his eyes. He felt it in the fact that almost everything she said was an order, and in the absence of their usual banter. He felt it in the way that she had to explicitly state every formation, every movement, in that by-the-book way used by all marines, and finally, he felt it deep in the core of his being.

It was wrong, all so wrong.

He knew it was a defence mechanism, this distance between them. Her defence mechanism. What he didn’t know was what she was defending against.

It could just be because of Earth, but it could also be because she didn’t trust him, or wasn’t sure if he trusted her. It could be because she didn’t want to risk bringing up the past in front of James. It could be any number of things. Once upon a time, he would have been able to look at the set of her shoulders and know.

The fact that he couldn’t anymore was tearing him apart…

And then there was Cerberus.

Here. On Mars.

She said that she didn’t know why, but Anderson’s warning was ringing in his head, and somehow he couldn’t bring himself to trust that she didn’t know why.

Besides, if she wanted to be all business, then he could do the same. He was supposed to be doing the same. This was, after all, his job and the war was too important for him not to do it properly. At least, that was what he told himself as he demanded a straight answer from her. But maybe what he’d really been looking for was a glimpse of the old Shepard. The one he had loved.

He saw her later, his Shepard, when she smiled at Liara. Not him. Liara. It was Liara who made her shoulders relax. Liara who was forgiven for not visiting with a shrug and a smile.

He hated that she wasn’t that Shepard around him anymore, and yet he was glad, because the difference made his suspicions easier to justify.

Read the rest on AO3

[thanekrios]

So, years ago I made a series of gifsets, starting with this one:

Well, now they're available in fic format. Nobody asked for this half a decade later or so, but here we are! AO3 link here (chapter 2 on AO3)

NO HARD FEELINGS

Summary:

Years after the Reaper War, a grieving Kaidan comes into possession of the files Shepard left for him.

CHAPTER ONE NIGHTCAP

Kaidan wakes up to a ping.

Nightcap.

Shepard’s nightcap messages rarely wake him up. They come as he is tossing and turning in his bunk or wandering around the ship. It’s not unusual behavior; everybody’s sleep cycles are fucked. He can always count on Vega for a late workout or on Tali to continue their little side project of building KEI-9’s a mech buddy. But on occasion, he does doze off, and the sharp beep rings through the starboard observation lounge, cutting him clean from his sleep cycle.

He sits up. One eye open, responding without reading the notification – because it’s always “nightcap?” And his eloquent reply is always: “omw.”

He taps on the keys blindly. A swooshing noise carries his response. He can’t bring himself to get up and slide into his sweats. He just leans against the bedrest in the soft darkness of an early summer morning. The bed creaks under his shifting weight.

Well, that’s funny, he thinks in the hazy reality of the half-awake. Furniture in space doesn’t creak – it whines, whirs, hums... 

He drifts away.

Another ping comes in.

His eyes are barely open, far away from where he believes to be. The light of a lazy sun has begun filtering through the blinds, and the air is far too humid and lacking the scent of citrus sanitizer that circulates and recirculates through the air ducts of the Normandy. It smells like pine needles, like sheets put away in a closet for years.

He must be dreaming because Shepard has just asked for a nightcap and he hasn’t seen this room, his childhood bedroom, in six years. He doesn’t even know if it still exists. If the house exists. If the orchard exists.

He’s at home. He’s on the Normandy. He’s in his childhood bed. He’s in his bunk.

The light dissolves behind his eyelids.

Now, this is it. He must be awake. Fully awake.

He’s up now. Hands buried in his sweatpants’ pockets as he makes his way to Deck 1.

He makes a point of engaging in eye contact and nodding politely to the crewmembers he passes on his way to the elevator. They know where he’s going, and he doesn’t give a flying fuck about the gossip it generates. Even if the rumors were true, what does it matter at this point in the game? He certainly wouldn’t care about who’s sleeping with whom when they could all be dead before their next sleep cycle.

When Shepard’s quarters door hisses open, he notices the distant scent of pine needles again.

And there she is, sitting with her back to the door.

Her hair is so short and shiny as it always is right after it has been buzzed. She shudders, donning her hoodie shortly after.

“Shepard, hey.” He says as if they had casually bumped into each other.

She doesn’t turn around but greets him in return.

This little ritual of theirs that nobody comments on – except for maybe Joker’s occasional “So you and the Commander are, uh, bumping uglies again, huh?” – began a few weeks after Udina’s attempted coup to seize control of the Citadel.

Too much had happened then. Two of Shepard’s former teammates from the infamous Cerberus-funded suicide mission had been lost. He had aimed his gun at her. She had aimed hers at him. They talk about it for the first time after Kaidan pours himself a glass of TM88 Peruvian whiskey and sits across from where she is.

“It would’ve been unbearable to continue without you,” she admits, curled up on her chair, feet bare, face obscured by her hoodie. Shepard never wears her armor to their nightcaps. “But I know I would’ve done it. I was going to gun you down.”

“Me too.” He replies in a whisper.

It’s something so terrible and shameful that had she been somebody else, he would’ve never admitted it. But it isn’t in Kaidan’s nature to conceal himself from Shepard, and in the last few weeks, he has learned that neither is it in hers.

“Good thing we got to keep our warm hearts,” she says.

That makes him smile.

Cool mind, warm heart is a phrase she has tattooed on her chest, over her left breast. Kaidan remembers discovering it under the dim blue lights of her cabin before Ilos. He never asked why she had chosen that phrase, why that was the only ink on her body. He had just kissed it softly every time they had made love. He began saying it to himself whenever he found himself in a dangerous situation, even after she was gone – especially after she was gone. It had crossed his mind, too, as he stared at her down the barrel of his gun.

The tip of his nose is chilly. There’s something wrong with the controlled temperature of her cabin. Too much moisture.

Golden light begins to bleed through the edges of her closed bathroom door.

“Have you asked EDI what that’s about?” he points at it with his chin, but Shepard doesn’t react. Instead, she stands up and walks towards the window that oversees the dark, starless expanse.

Birds twitter.

He walks up next to her; her hooded head faces the other way.

“How you doin’ these days, Shepard?” he asks because he always asks her, except sometimes they’re standing on the Starboard Observation Lounge or at the Med Bay of the first Normandy, and on really shitty occasions, they’re on Earth just moments before she leaves him behind and makes for the beam that will take her away from him forever.

“Still breathing, K,” she lies.

 It stings like alcohol on an open wound.

“Shepard,” he says pleadingly. He’s suddenly overwhelmed, exhausted. “Can I please look at your face? Just this one time.”

She doesn’t turn to see him. One of Shepard’s hands rests on the window, “Take my hand, Kaidan.”

He presses his palm against hers, except he can only feel cold glass. It’s as if Shepard’s molecules have been rearranged, dissolved with his touch.  

He sees then, out in the vastness of a dark galaxy, Shepard is there, in full armor, floating on the other side of the window, banging on it.

No. This was a nightcap. She’s never in armor during their nightcaps.

She beckons to him. Her arms cross in front of her chest, her fists ball. Then she stretches out both arms and hands and spreads her legs, making an X with her entire body.  It’s a signal people who grew up in space like her use when all other communication fails – it’s meant to signal danger or distress or imminent explosion – he should know what it means. Still, he can’t remember, and he bangs on the window, terror so sharp a violent sensation of pins and needles on the soles of his feet is all he can feel, “Shepard! Get out of there! Get out of there!”

There is no response.

She repeats the motion over and over, each time more desperately, more violently, banging her arms against her chest plate with the strength of a Brute.

There’s a pause.

Shepard does it one more time, slowly and almost affectionately, as if hugging herself and then, she lets go – defeat or acceptance or both.

Her helmet hisses as its vacuum seal breaks when she begins to remove it.

“You can see my face now, K.” He shouldn’t be able to hear her, but it’s as if the sound is being amplified, blasted in her cabin.

“No. Shepard! You’ve got twelve seconds! Twelve seconds to put it back on!”

This should not be the cost she should pay so he can see her face again. 

He can go on forever without seeing it again if she just gets herself back to safety. 

“Shepard, please!”

And just as she lifts it halfway along her nose, the helmet is overexposed under the blast of a nearby explosion.

He screams. Or he is trying to. Every sound dies in his throat.

He can never scream in his sleep.

His fists bang on the window. There’s nothing out there but an inferno and the twittering of birds.

“Every future moves in a different direction of time,” Shepard whispers in his ear, unseen. “All of these things happened. To you. To a different version of you. But you have to stop peeking through these windows, alright? It’s time to come back.”

“How do I make it stop?”

“We’ll figure it out. I promise. But for now, I need you to come back, okay?”

He nods and feels her fingers intertwining with his. She did that often towards the end, offering quiet reassurance for a few seconds in private, before the elevator doors opened, when they stood together at the Presidium, right before he said good night when their nightcaps came to an end.  Now she does it whenever he navigates unsettling dreams.

“Okay,” he agrees with the ghost.

The beep of a new notification fills the room and cuts him away from her grip.

He sits on his childhood bed, pressing his hand against his forehead. It’s soaking wet but not too warm. He feels a throb in his left temple – it’s always his left temple.

The birds outside his window are still chirping happily, as they always do in the early hours of summer mornings.  

He’s home. That’s the only place where he can be right now.

The blue glow of his hand terminal burns so bright he is reminded of that rare footage of the Citadel erupting in indigo, a surge of energy darting across the Milky Way, crippling one mass relay after another.

He taps hastily on his omnitool – concerned the pings have awoken his mom too. It’s always a gamble, she could be getting some shut eye at any time of the day. Ever since the war, she hasn’t been able to sleep for more than three hours straight, so instead, she takes a series of naps during the day. She’s told Kaidan that now that he’s home, sleeping has gotten easier. 

His back is drenched in sweat, and his throat is hoarse. The tingling in his feet has dimmed but not disappeared entirely. He reaches for the glass of water and a pill on his nightstand and gulps it all down in one go.

His hand terminal’s screen has gone dark at the inactivity, and only a tiny green dot blinks insistently, reminding him of the unanswered ping.

Liara T’Soni [06:46]: Are you awake? There’s something I’d like to discuss. [READ]

Kaidan Alenko [06:46]: omw [READ]

Liara T’Soni [06:47]: That won’t be necessary. Is your vidcom working?

Liara T’Soni [07:14]: Kaidan?

Kaidan Alenko [07:22]: Just a mo.

He stops himself from tapping on his omnitool to activate the coffee machine that may still be at his old apartment’s kitchenette in Kronos Station – he should really delete the coffee maker app. It’s been either a couple of days or a couple of weeks since he was at Kronos. It doesn’t matter. It’s hard to shake off his old routine and come to the realization that he doesn’t have one anymore. Plus, he should lay off caffeine for a while.

He runs a hand through his salt and pepper hair as if that alone would bury the evidence that he had been sleeping moments before and changes into a dry t-shirt. 

He opens the vidcom channel to Liara.

“Oh no,” Liara’s preferred form of greeting, “did I wake you?”

“It’s alright, doc. I needed to wake up.”

Liara doesn’t say it, but Kaidan knows she can tell he looks like shit. He feels like it too.

She moves on, doesn’t ask him what’s wrong – small kindnesses. Instead, she wants to know about the orchard and its recovery, and even though she’s never met her, she always takes the time to ask about his mom. 

Their conversation drifts to discussions of hydroponic apple trees and the growing obsolescence of farming drones in recent years; ever since the war, an interest in old farming techniques skyrocketed, and more and more people began favoring manual labor. Treasuring, more like. 

They’ve been fifteen minutes into the conversation and Liara continues to find new topics unrelated to the reason she messaged him in the first place. But Kaidan doesn’t mind, talking to Liara has grounded him back into the present, into reality. His heartbeat is steady, and his limbs are no longer tingling. 

Something chimes in Liara’s terminal, chaos and the weight of the universe reflected on her grimace as she reads a new incoming message. Kaidan has started noticing how much she’s starting to resemble her mother and he considers mentioning it every time they hold a vidcom conference, but the thought always dissolves in a whirlwind of other topics.   

“Do I need to let you go, doc?” 

“I–” she hesitates for a moment before tapping on her hand terminal with finality, tossing it onto a surface Kaidan can’t see. A racket off camera and a pained expression across her face tell Kaidan she had used more force than she had intended, but she blinks it away and stares back at him,  “No. I’m here. That is part of the reason why I needed to talk to you.”

“Well,” Kaidan rolls his neck. It cracks. He’s gonna need at least decaf. “I’m all ears. What’s up?”

“I have something for you, Kaidan. However, I am not sure if…if you’ll want it.”

“Alright. How illegal are we talking about, doc?”

They disconnect some time later but not before Liara asks him to be good to himself, which she could’ve done out of habit or because he’s still a sweaty mess.

The sun is up by then, and he hears his mom downstairs. Footsteps and the front door creaking open. She’s going to have a cup of tea on the porch like she used to do every summer morning with dad.

The air is crisp and clean; it still smells of pine needles and sheets put away in a closet for years.

He slides into a hoodie and walks towards the door. He might have breakfast, go for a walk, peel some apples, or talk to his mom. There’s much to do before he can go back to Shepard.

Before he starts his day, he unlocks his hand terminal to stare at Liara’s little offering – and there it is, a small icon containing God knows how many files with everything Shepard had left for him to read, to hear, to see.

Every future moves in a different direction of time, she had whispered.

Each decision, each action, each conversation brought him here. He stands in his childhood bedroom, and she fills the sky. And there may be other universes where he stretches across the cosmos, and she stands in his childhood bedroom. And there are some others where he read everything she ever wrote for him, heard every word she ever meant to say to him, and perhaps they’re both scattered across the galaxy together. Or they’re having another nightcap.

[saintsandsorcery]

Before you go

Aka, the fic i abandoned a year ago and forgot about. It's mostly fluff :)

Pairing: Kaidan x femshep

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0500. In another life, the sun would be kissing Shepard’s face now. In another life, he wouldn’t think of leaving.

In truth, Kaidan should have returned to his own cabin hours ago - he could tell by the shuffling steps in the hallway, the low hum of voices as the nightshift begins exchanging brief status updates with the incoming dayshift. In another life, Shepard’s alarm wouldn’t go off in twenty minutes.

It was a habit by then, he left long before anyone even noticed he was gone – well, anyone except for Shepard. It seemed logical, at times; but logic was rearely the contributing factor when love was involved.

It would damage both of their reputations, maybe even endanger her position as Commander if the wrong person came to know of them. It tended to become an endless spiral of thoughts leading to more absurd and more catastrophic scenarios - all because he wanted just another moment with her.

Even so, most of the time they did manage to catch together, was still largely compromised by their work. And since there was no way around it, and neither of them was prone to procrastination, they tended to quietly work beside each other, sitting on Shepard’s bed.

It was a hollow promise ‘after’, one both of them knew to be a lie the moment it passed their lips.

He glanced at her again, curled up against him, her arm draped loosely across his waist, her cheek resting beside the data pad keeping them apart. The soft blue light emanating from the device she had forgotten to turn off the night before made her feel far more unreal than her presence beside him already did, like a hologram from an old movie. He reached out carefully and tucked a lock of stray hair behind her ear.

“Stay,” she breathed as he drew back. And maybe he would, just this one time. Just for her.

[reallyquitestrange]

Still a work in progress but i get overly excited.

Fem shep, Kaidan, Jack and James all take a beach day post ME3.

Incase the watermark makes it hard to read:

Shep talking to Jack: Remember when you swore off ever having kids?

Jack: yeah..?

Shep: Did you tell James?

Jack: mmh? *finally looking up to see her Partner has stolen a child and is trying to get said kid past Major Alenko*

Kaidan: Put the kid down, Vega!

James: NO! You're Indoctrinated by the Reapers, Major!

*the child shrieking in joy*

Jack: JAMES! AGAIN?

Shep: Again?! What do you mean 'AGAIN'?

James from a distance: We're PLAYING!

Jack: You're scaring parents! Put it back where you found it! Where does he keep getting them from?

[still-love-the-moon]

There's no ceiling anymore Who knows if I'll see you around If you have lost, if I have won If there's mud in heaven (x)

[olath124]

This was a drawing I’ve made for the Alenko Summer exchange… but it was too late and being the anxious gremlin I am I've never posted it. So, being n7 month I've decided to post it now!

She is the lovely @halesshepardn7 's Rose Shepard in a soft and lovely moment with her space husband Kaidan ❤️

[reigraceee]

Introducing my Mass Effect oc: Valerie Shepard

[spacevixen2024]

[midoucloud]

Trinitycosplay007 & ad_astra_cosplay as Kaidan Alenko & Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)

Photo by MidouCloud Photography (me)

[tealenko]

(Finished) Didn't Have the Heart

Chapters: 10/10

Fandom: Mass Effect

Rating: Explicit (Last 2 chapters)

Relationships: Female Shepard (Mio Shepard) / Kaidan Alenko

Characters: Mio Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau, EDI, Liara T'Soni, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Samantha Traynor, Javik.

Additional Tags: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex.

Summary: Now that Shepard and Kaidan are back together, they’ll have to face what all of their friends and crew mates think about it once they discover their relationship.

Chapters:

Chapter 1: Sleep Talking [Link]

Chapter 2: Walk of Shame [Link]

Chapter 3: Invisible to the Naked Eye [Link]

Chapter 4: A Friend in Need [Link]

Chapter 5: Echoes from the Past [Link]

Chapter 6: Sorry to Interrupt [Link]

Chapter 7: In the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time [Link]

Chapter 8: Just Checking in [Link]

Chapter 9: Comparative Study of the Alliance Dress Uniform [Link]

Chapter 10: Later [Link]

Read in AO3 -> [link] Through Hell and Back series -> [link]

Notes:

This is a direct continuation to Never Have I Ever (all part of the Through Hell and Back series), but if you don't want to read it (I mean... you could... is one of my best fics ehehehehehe) But if you don't, you only need to know that this starts after both of them got mega drunk, Garrus and Vega discovered their relationship and then they went to have amazing sex in Kaidan's room (I think that sums it up pretty well lol)

Enjoy!

[skinnyazn]

Masterlists :)

MY ART

INPRINT: Shop Prints of My Art!

(thank you!)

All art is tagged under #my art MASS EFFECT TAROT ART MASTERLIST Working through the Major Arcana cards

I also have a Ko-Fi page for my cosplays! If you’d like to support my cosplays here 🫶🏼

MY FICS AO3

All fics tagged under #my fic

My series are below the cut 🥰

Simon Ghost Riley x F!Reader (Jaguar) Jaguar's Dossier Contact (PG) Jaguar's first intro to Task Force 141 and a rocky start to her relationship with Ghost In the Bleak Midwinter (E) Simon and Jag's first mission together; he comes to collect on your secret The Masks We Wear (E) Jag has a new mission in Italy during Carnivale; a beautiful phantom makes an appearance Dead of Night (PG) Ghost inhaling Jag's cigarette smoke drabble Something Like That (E) Ghost comes to terms for his feelings for Jag Lick Your Wounds (E) Jag get's injured and Ghost goes feral I Will Not Ask and Neither Should You (M) Jag can't escape her past and neither can Ghost Mirrored (E) Ghost makes you watch as he takes you in front of a mirror Simon Ghost Riley x F!Reader (Jaguar) x Johnny Soap MacTavish Texas Sun (E) Standalone fic where Ghost, Jag, and Soap have a shower threeway Simon Ghost Riley x F!Reader Tennessee Whiskey (PG) Slow-dancing in a dive bar with your lieutenant

Liara T'Soni x Femshep Making Up for Lost Time (E) Liara visits Shepard in her cabin after the Shadow Broker mission; they makeup for lost time Mistletoe (PG) Liara learns about some Earth traditions (Christmas drabble) Just One More Question... (PG) Four hundred years later and Liara still loves Shepard (drabble) Like Tears in the Rain (M) Shepard shares a final, tearful kiss with Liara as she pushes toward the bleak end (narration of the final mission in ME3) Kaidan Alenko x FemShep (Amidala Shepard) The Heat of a Cold Night (E) Shepard runs into Kaidan on a solo mission; things fall apart in the shuttle as the star-crossed lovers make up for lost time Priority Mars (E) AU where Kaidan doesn't get injured after the Mars Mission; hate sex followed by makeup sex Autumn, Then Spring (PG) After the war, Kaidan finally asks the question he's been meaning to all these years Garrus Vakarian x Femshep An All-Consuming Path (E) Garrus kills Sidonis but doesn't feel any better; Shepard comforts him and true feelings come out

[ooachilliaoo]

The Asari Monastery

There was something different about Kaidan today.

Nothing major. (Ha! Major!) In fact, it was so small a change that she was relatively certain no-one else had even noticed. He just seemed… lighter, more relaxed. Which was pretty damned incredible considering where they were and what they were here to do. She was definitely not a fan of the screeching that she could hear in the distance.

But he seemed… well, less tense, certainly. Or perhaps just less tense than he had been. He was still holding himself with the expectant discipline required while on a mission. He was still alert, scanning the room for possible threats, entrances and exits. Yet, the way he held himself was just a little more… relaxed. Less ‘Officer on duty, sir!’ and more ‘let’s see what’s out there…’. 

It reminded her of the difference she’d noticed aboard the SR1.

There’d come a point – she couldn’t remember when exactly, and she was pretty sure that Ash’s constant teasing had been the cause rather than anything she’d done herself – but there’d come a point where he’d stopped being so… stiff.

For the first few months aboard the SR1, she’d been genuinely concerned that her bright, brave, brilliant lieutenant could, at any moment, be temporarily out of commission because he’d been so busy standing at perfect, rigid attention around her that he’d actually managed to sprain something.

Then, one day – she couldn’t now recall what planet or what mission, save for the fact that they’d been on the way to Feros – there had been a damn hard fight. Not damn hard in the good way – where you’d known you were going to win, but only if you worked at it hard enough – but one of those damn hard fights where it’d really, truly looked like they might not survive. They’d been exhausted – really exhausted, the kind of exhaustion that grafted itself to your bones – and he just hadn’t had the energy to stand to attention.

So he hadn’t, and she might have smiled at him because of it.

And he’d never bothered standing to attention since.

She liked it, this new/old lightness. It was a hell of a lot better than the professional detachment and mistrust that had been present on Mars, and a little better than the uncertainty that had sat between them ever since he’d re-joined the Normandy.

It made the creepy, darkened monastery just that little bit more bearable. At least, until she heard something move to her right.

She froze.

“What was that?” she hissed, immediately alert. God-damned darkness, she hated not being able to check her targets.

“I, uh… tripped. Sorry.” 

Read the rest on AO3

[razzledazzlemfs]

firesides by artic monkeys reminds me so much of shalenko on horizon

[halesshepardn7]

Finally got around to finishing this chapter.

[olath124]

My Shenkosummer2023 entry! I've drawn the lovely Hawke Shepard and Kaidan Alenko. I wanted to represent a brief moment between them during the final battle on Earth.