#i hope im not incredibly fucking late LMAO

[ashertickler]

porter and astarion would be besties

(...was astarion inspo for porter i wonder)

[skitskatdacat63]

“Constantia et fortitudine” - Emperor Sebastian I “der Sieghafte”

[inuyashaluver]

Would you do a fic with leah x Reader. Leah being really shy, both before dating and during.

shy - leah williamson

leah williamson x reader

description: in which your girlfriend is incredibly shy around you - something that surprises your peers completely

warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive, long ish?

a/n: hiiii, i have such mixed feelings about this one but i tried okay, IM JUST A GIIRRRLLL anyway lmao, ignore me - thank you for the request!! hope you enjoyy xx

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

if there was one thing to know about your girlfriend, leah, it was that she was confident. leah held herself well, she always maintained eye contact, she was a great speaker and she was incredibly passionate and a great leader.

people spoke highly of leah, she was the confident england captain, european champion and one of the best players in the league. she was anything but shy, she wasn’t even considered shy by anyone that knew her. until a special girl came along and made leah the definition of shy.

—

you were a medic, one of the best in your field. you’d been offered a job for the lionesses back in 2018. that’s where you met leah. during camp, you were brought in late after being shown the ropes and the procedures for the team.

you were then taken to meet the girls, when you walked in the room with your bright smile and excited eyes, leah’s heart stopped. she was sitting with beth at the time, just chatting in the gym and when she stopped talking, beth looked at her in confusion, only to follow her gaze on the new medic for the team.

beth smirked and immediately started teasing the girl, leah’s pink cheeks and sheepish smile gracing her features made it obvious to almost anyone who was paying attention. she thought you were gorgeous, she kept glancing at you as you made your way around the room, your smile and laugh was infectious, she couldn’t help but smile when you did.

when you made your way closer to them, leah began to panic, beth just laughed at the girl’s nervous expression. leah began to sip water and tried to look anywhere but at you “hi, i’m (y/n),” you say softly, holding your hand out to beth and shaking her hand.

“hiya, i’m beth, that’s leah” beth’s smirk never left her face, she shoves leah to look up at you and when she did, leah began to choke on her water, spurring a coughing fit. beth immediately laughs at her, you bend down next to her and place a gentle hand on leah’s back and she slightly tenses. “you okay?” you ask leah concerned, the girl in front of you just nods and tries to wave you off but you don’t move from her.

you begin to rub comforting circles on her back and she stops coughing, she looks at you in awe, her face was warm and she was incredibly embarrassed. “sorry about that, i’m leah” she laughs nervously, internally cursing herself for fucking up just looking at you.

“no, it’s okay, hopefully the next time i see you, you’re not choking” you joke, giving her a light squeeze on her arm and standing up. “see you around, be careful with that water, leah?” you smile, leah just looks at you with wide eyes, nodding her head enthusiastically and spurring a giggle from you. you thought she was gorgeous, you hoped you’d see her frequently.

as you walk away from her, you glance back and smile at her, throwing her a little wave and going back to where your colleagues were. leah waves back and turns back to beth, she was more red than ever. “my little leah has a crush!” beth teases, making kissy faces at her friend. leah scowls, giving beth a shove and flipping her off. “fuck off, beth” she grumbles, returning back to her normal self.

—

it was then time for training, you and your colleagues stood on the sidelines and observed the team, ready to treat any injuries. you couldn’t help but train your gaze on leah, finding her incredibly enticing. leah was serious about training, she kept her attention where it needed to be. the drills went well, she would only look at you when she didn’t have to do anything, only to discover that you were looking at her already.

both of you would sport pink cheeks and stolen glances at each other. it was painfully obvious. then, the girls were instructed for a practice mini game. you obviously knew leah was an amazing player, but watching her this close just proved how good she was. you were awestruck watching her quick movements and expert footwork, watching her with somewhat of a proud smile.

until the girl dived for a tackle and ended up lightly spraining her ankle. when she didn’t get up from the floor, you ran over. “leah, stay still, please” you ask softly, placing your hands on her ankle and extending her leg gently. leah’s mouth was slightly agape as she watched you, she felt no pain at all, all she felt was your warm hand making contact with her skin and she never wanted them to part.

you quickly place an ice pack on her ankle and she slightly winces, you send her an apologetic smile, holding it in place to reduce the swelling. “can you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10?” you question, looking into her eyes but she quickly looks away from you. she doesn’t answer immediately, she’s trying to catch her breath after making eye contact with you.

“leah?” she suddenly snaps out of her trance, looking at you quickly, “sorry!” she exclaims, feeling so incredibly warm. “um..like a 3?” you nod in response, slightly adjusting the ice pack. you smile at her again and leah can’t help but smile back at you.

“alright, let me wrap you up and you can chill with me” you take out bandages and tape from your little bag and gently wrap up her ankle, stopping to ask her if she was okay a couple times. leah was encapsulated by you, watching the way you expertly wrap her ankle better than she’s ever experienced and she’s not even being biassed by your pretty face.

you help her stand up, wrapping her arm around your shoulder while you securely hold her waist. it felt so familiar for the both of you, leaning into each other subtly as you help her walk off the pitch.

when you get to the sidelines, you help her sit down and elevate her ankle, giving her a comforting squeeze on her shoulder as you sat beside her. you couldn’t help but notice that her breathing was a little erratic.

“you okay?” you whisper to her, she was focused on the game until she heard your whispers. she looks down at you with a surprised face. “yeah, why?” she stutters, struggling to maintain your eye contact but she feels more comfortable around you.

“you’re just breathing a little irregularly, just checking in” you lightly pat her thigh and she looks down at your hand, you quickly move it away following her gaze and she has a trace of a smile on her lips.

“just a little puffed out from the game” she sighs, sending you a little grin to assure you. after the game was finished, you help leah walk again towards the change rooms. you sit her down in her cubby and smile at her with pink cheeks. “come and find me if you need anything” she smiles and thanks you, when you turn the corner and leave the room, leah groans in frustration.

“fucking idiot” she puts her head in her hands, the girls in the change room were teasing her relentlessly. “i never thought i’d see a shy leah williamson in my life” millie laughs, her and beth being the main sources of the teasing.

“fuck off, i’m not shy” leah says sternly, her face not amused whatsoever. “your stuttering and pink cheeks in front of the pretty medic says otherwise, leah” keira teases, getting a laugh from lucy as leah flips her off. “nah, you’re mad, mate” leah scoffs, beginning to change out of her kit. “so you wouldn’t mind if one of us made a move?” jill jokes, her smile wiping off her face when leah sends her an icy glare.

“point proven, then?” beth smirks, leah shakes her head and hobbles out of the room. when she made it to the hallway, there you were. “back to see me so soon, williamson” you grin, leah sends you a bashful one in return. “hm, maybe” she spoke somewhat confidently, the teasing of her friends giving her some assertiveness. you smile at her surprised, a different tone evident in her voice, it was a little..flirty - you weren’t entirely sure if leah returned the attraction you felt.

—

months go by, leah gaining more ‘injuries’ than ever and you couldn’t help but wonder if she was just doing it on purpose just to see you. her conversations with you were still you doing most of the work but you could tell leah was gaining more and more confidence around you. every time she walked up to you, you couldn’t help but laugh at the teasing she received.

something you also noticed was how leah looked as though she hyped herself up to talk to you. often taking deep breaths before muttering up any sort of courage to even say hi to you. she would often just stand next to you, nervously shifting her weight between her legs until you would spark conversation. she couldn’t bring herself to make the first move - she always made the first move.

when she talked to you, she was incredibly fidgety, playing with the hem of her clothes while you chatted.

when leah talked to anyone, she would do most of the talking. when it came to you, she was a listener. she loved hearing you talk, your soft words making her feel calm and nervous all at the same time. you loved talking to leah, both of you discovering that you had a lot in common.

one day, beth had come up to you and pulled you to the side, you couldn’t miss leah’s angry expression as you were pulled away from her. you send her a smile and her face changes, she smiles back at you and tries to ignore the fluttering in her stomach but she just can’t. her nerves consuming her completely.

“listen (y/n), please put everyone out of their misery and ask leah out” beth pleads, glancing over at leah and back at you. your eyes slightly widen, you follow her gaze to see leah trying to act like she wasn’t paying attention to you and beth but she clearly was.

“are you sure leah likes me?” you ponder, in slight disbelief that she could return your feelings.

“are you joking?” beth laughs, “leah williamson is probably the most confident person i’ve met, yet when you come around, she’s a puddle” you nod your head in understanding, a smile making its way to your face. beth smiles back at you encouragingly, “give her a chance” you nod again, thanking beth for her advice before making your way back over to leah.

she smiles at you before glancing to the floor, swallowing the lump in her throat. “come for a walk with me?” leah snaps her head up at you, pausing for a moment before nodding and standing up, wiping her hands on her jacket and walking along with you. you stand in front of her and look up in attempts to catch her eye, and she manages to maintain her eye contact. her pupils were dilated as she flutters her eyes between yours.

“i wanted to ask you something” blood gently makes surface on your cheeks. “okay” leah lets out a shaky breath, she looks down at her feet for a moment, “sorry” escaping her lips. you make a bold move, slowly moving your hand to grasp hers, she looks up at you surprised, her face completely red as you gently squeeze her hand.

“don’t be sorry” you say softly, smiling at her before making your move. “i wanted to ask if you wanted to go out with me sometime?” leah’s breath audibly hitched, feeling as though she malfunctioned. she pauses and you look at her concerned, maybe you misread the situation.

“shit..you don’t feel the same do you?” you try to slip your hand out of leah’s but she holds on tightly, “yes! i do!” she exclaims, she was certain she was the shade of a tomato. your cheeks turn pink at her volume, “i’d love to” she whispers, running her thumb over the back of your hand. “it’s a date” you smile, leah smiles back, both of you swarmed with butterflies as you look into each other’s eyes.

—

you’ve now been dating for 4 years and you finally met the confident leah that everyone who told you about. leah had you swooning at every opportunity possible. once you made the first move all those years ago, leah handled the rest, surprising you completely.

the only times you notice leah returning to her shy self is when she was in front of her teammates, something you loved to tease her about. everyone knew you were dating, painfully obvious when you both walked in the room. beth smiled so brightly when leah didn’t let go of your hand when you neared the door.

—

in present times, you and leah moved in together. you getting a job offer at arsenal and still working for england. both of you in absolute bliss. leah was getting changed in your shared bedroom, you watch as she rids herself of her kit and changes into something more comfortable. she can feel your eyes on her and her cheeks still turn pink. “stop looking at me like that” she mumbles, faced with your lovesick grin. “like what, baby?” you reply cheekily, cocking your head to the side when she looks at you bashfully.

“like that! i don’t know, lovey dovey” leah jokes and you move to stand in front of her, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your chin on her chest, looking up at her adoringly.

“i am lovey dovey for you, beautiful” you pucker your lips up at her and she can feel her entire body on fire. she grins, moving to place a sweet kiss on your lips, moving together tenderly as she pulls you closer to your body. “i love you, my girl” she speaks against your lips, kissing you once more before parting.

“my shy girl, i love you” you say affectionately and leah places her face in your neck, pecking it repeatedly and making you squirm, giggling at feeling her lips graze your skin. “stop it” leah mumbles, sighing and hugging you tightly, lightly swaying your body side to side. “you’re the cutest” you coo, leah pinches your hip and you laugh. “it’s all your fault” she jokes, moving her face out of your neck to face you again, keeping you pressed up against her.

“aw, sorry, baby” you kiss her lips quickly and move your hand up to cradle her cheek, she leans into it and looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

—

once, you and leah were hosting team bonding at your house. you and leah (you) cooked dinner for some of the girls, leah’s job was apparently just wrapping her arms around your waist as you cooked, hugging you gently. “baby, i can’t do much when you’re holding me like this” you giggle, contracting your words as you lean into her body.

“but you’re warm” she hums, her cheek resting on yours. you were in your own world until beth came in, “oh my god, lovebirds! viv, look!” beth teases, viv standing next to her with an apologetic smile. leah groans and thumps her head on your shoulder, begging beth to leave. you feel her warm body on yours. “oh, beth, leave them” viv mouths a sorry to you, dragging beth back to your living room.

after you all ate, leah set up a movie for everyone to watch. you were cleaning up the kitchen despite the protests of leah, but it only took a couple minutes. when you came to the living room, there was literally no where to sit, leah smiles so brightly as you enter the room, ignoring the snickers coming from beth in the corner.

you grin and move to sit on her lap. she welcomes the contact, placing one hand on your waist and the other on your thigh, giving it a squeeze. the boldness of the gesture had leah grinning. you kiss her cheek when you’re seated and giggle when you feel it grow warm under your affection.

“aw, she’s all shy now!” jen teases, gaining laughs from pretty much everyone in the room. you smile and cradle leah’s head to your chest, she leans into you completely, feeling as though she can tune out all the teasing just with you holding her. you move to whisper in your ear, “don’t be shy, baby,” your lips graze the shell of her ear and she tenses, squeezing your thigh almost warningly. you let out a little gasp, holding her arm that was squeezing your thigh and running your nails over it.

“i’ll show you shy, baby girl” she whispers in your ear, kissing it gently before pulling away to see your flustered face. team bonding was cut short that night, everyone left after feeling the tension in the room between you and leah. leah williamson is anything but shy, and she showed you that.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

liked by bethmead_ and 44,232 others

leahwilliamsonn: call the pretty medic, my acl is playing up again (joke)

view all comments

yourname: you don’t need to make up excuses to see me

↳ leahwilliamsonn: i’m making it fun, baby!

↳ yourname: your acl was not. funny.

↳ leahwilliamsonn: joke, baby, just a joke

↳ yourname: hm

↳ leahwilliamsonn: i love you

↳ yourname: i love you too, i guess

↳ leahwilliamsonn: i guess?!

bethmead_: leah and (y/n) sitting in a tree

↳ jbeatie91: K

↳ bethmead_: I

↳ jbeatie91: S

↳ bethmead_: S

↳ keirawalsh: I

↳ mbrighty04: N

↳ leahwilliamsonn: G

[turnstileskyline]

fall river massachusetts late 1892-1893 dash simulator

🥃 remember1794 Follow

lmaoo of course l*zz*e was a member of the temperance movement….. broads like that are always the worst

📿 godbeliever Follow

and??? are you saying that being against the overconsumption of alcohol is somehow akin to being a brutal murderer?????

🥃 remember1794 Follow

yes

🪓 bordenupdates

dont bother engaging with remember1794 his entire blog is posts about the whisky rebellion of 1794 or about how much he hates women

#notborden

7,394 notes

👒 gibsons-a-girl Follow

look all im saying is that miss lizzie is unmarried and hasn’t had ANY suitors… and maggie is unwed too. im just saying!

👞 shoeshiningisawomansduty Follow

im so tired of you sapphists projecting your filthy disease onto everyone. no one cares.

👒 gibsons-a-girl Follow

thats not what your mother said to me last night

👒 gibsons-a-girl Follow

wait why is your blog just photographs of mens footwear

#wild ass site

1,808 notes

❄️ alaskafan Follow

i think the uncle did it bc what the fuck kind of middle name is vinnicum

❄️ alaskafan Follow

AND hes a butcher ? might as well write murderer on his head lmaoooooooo

❄️ alaskafan Follow

bordenupdates just vagueposted about me

#hope this is ok to rb op bc LMAO

9 notes

🐋 righttowhale Follow

ever since the 1850s big petroleum has been working to destroy the whaling industry, backed by the naturalists who find a problem with the hunting of whales, despite there being an abundance of the beasts in the sea! do not reject whaling – trust when whale experts say that these creatures will never be at a serious risk, don't fall for the propaganda of big petroleum

⚓️ sunkenmen

what the fuck are you talking about. did a whale kill your parents or something.

🐋 righttowhale Follow

yes, actually.

⚓️ sunkenmen

. sorry

#sorry for your loss but your politics suck

94,726 notes

📿 godbeliever Follow

i don't believe that women are capable of a crime so brutal. even when judith slayed holofernes, she did so by the guiding of God. her actions were virtuous in nature. women, being of the fairer sex, who serve God as lizzie does are not capable of a murder so foul. jezebel was able to do as she did because she spurned Him.

👒 gibsons-a-girl Follow

stop lumping sapphist lizzie defenders with these freaks.

#this discourse has been incredible #anyway block godbeliever

3,552 notes

🕯 literate-lover-19

the adventures of sherlock holmes my beloved

2 notes

🧺 thepoppypamphleteer Follow

theres nothing wrong an opium reliance.

🧺 thepoppypamphleteer Follow

i always wanted to fuck her

437 notes

🧵 spindlecity

does anyone wanna take me to the columbia exposition :( i know its in illinois but still

0 notes

[froznwater]

im so sorry this is incredibly random but if i dont write alenoah i WILL die but i cant think of anything to write. do u have any simple ideas. ignore if not

HI!!! tysm for your ask <3 i hope you can find something to write amongst all the ideas. These are a bunch of ideas have written down in my notes/google drive/tumblr posts and have not got gotten around to. I still might at some point in time but feel free to use them. I will still do my own take if I get the time/motivation. There's simply so many, why not share and inspire some fics :)

----

General ideas:

Noah knows/learns spanish. Bonus points if Alejandro isn't aware until the perfect moment.

Alejandro thinks he can get away with flirting with Noah in spanish. Noah starts shit talking in spanish. Noah learns so he can hear all the little comments Alejandro keeps making under his breath. etc. so many possibilities.

Now that the show is over and Noah's off to college, he realizes he’s missing something in his life. Maybe it’s his friends, maybe it’s a lack of ever-looming danger, OR maybe it’s Alejandro. Who fucking knows. He’s too busy trying not to be in love with Alejandro to figure it out. 

Their group project is failing, horribly. There’s one thing Noah knows for certain: Alejandro's to blame. At what point does slippery eel turn into a term of endearment?

They have never ever fallen asleep next to each other. Let alone in each other's arms. Never.

Time loop where Alejandro is stuck on the episode where Noah gets voted out and sticks himself to falling in love because he can’t let go of his pride long enough to simply let Noah stay in the game and move on.

Noah loses his contacts and starts wearing his glasses more often. Alejandro notices. Everyone notices Alejandro notices.

Alejandro and Noah team up to get their friends together (insert whatever ship you like) and end up together in the process/the other two were trying to do the same thing for them.

A commentary timeline on how Alejandro's charisma turn into exploitation, how Noah's patience turned into indifference, and how they parallel each other. (I've written a few hundred words for this one lol.)

Each thinks the other doesn't like them. Cut to third party POV that watches and witnesses them completely a mess for each other.

Noah, once voted out in I See London, learns about Alejandro's family. Who have been very vocal since the show started airing.

Exploration of how Alejandro tries really really hard. Yes, He's at the top of the class, but so is Noah. Noah who sleeps through classes and doesn't turn in homework and shows up late or simply not at all and is still right up there with him.

“I would kill to be like you. To just absorb all the information fed to me. If I were you I might actually- “(beat my brother) “Might actually what?” “I told you. I don’t want to talk about it, Noah.” - "Do you know how long I studied for that test? Hours. And you- You got a 96 with no effort at all." It was a 98. But this seems like a bad time to correct him.

Dialogue one-liners prompts i've written down:

"If we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."

“Why do I feel like I cant say no to you?”

"I know you don't actually care about me, but thank you for trying to pretend that you do." (Said by Noah is joking. Said by Alejandro is bitter.)

"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."(Alejandro OR Noah angst.)

Soulmate aus:

My big two: Telepathy/Mentally linked.(imagine this one as a wt rewrite omg) And Whatever you draw on yourself shows up on your soulmate. Matching tattoos.

First words on each other. (I've done this one already here. but feel free to do it as well!!)

Communicating through dreams. (If you know cardcaptor sakura; like that.)

General AUs:

Until dawn AU.

Gakuen Alice AU.

My Babysitters A Vampire AU. Zombie Apoc AU.

Harry Potter AU. Reality Dating Show AU.

Infinity Train AU!!!!!!

Veronica Mars AU!!!! (i wanna do this one ALOT noah is sooo veronica LMAO) OBLIGATORY IDEAS:

seven minutes in heaven.

wrong number.

trapped in a closet.

movie night. noah is sitting under alejandro and lol they are physically, platonically touching for awhile. (leads to finally getting together).

one gets injured, the other fixes them up in the nurses office :P.

short "prompt-ishs" i've started writing:

“What the hell is your problem, Alejandro?” And this time, the tone was so disgusted, so bitter, that something snapped, deep in Alejandro’s chest.

Fuck it.

“What’s my problem?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s my problem? You’ve got to be kidding me, Courtney. I almost died. I almost died, paralyzed and alone, and the only friend I thought I had didn’t give a single shit! The only person who cared was Noah, of all people. I quite literally come back to life and the only thing you can do is whine about your girlfriend problems.”

Courtney takes a step back.

“I was stuck in a robot for months, my legs barely work, my family moved on- actually, I don’t know if they ever actually even noticed,” He laughs, broken, “- and you have the audacity to ask me what my problem is?!”

Alejandro is over playing nice. He’s had enough.

-

this one is a rivals team up to get out courtney blurb

little idea about Alejandro getting into zodiacs.

moments where alejandro questions why Noah is so attractive

-

SEND MORE ASKS IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY OF THESE IDEAS!!! / IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CONCEPTS TO ADD OR EXPAND ON :)))

[cementcornfield]

https://www.tumblr.com/cementcornfield/763062468636524544

this is so long im sorry but i cant stop watching ts:

what’s so crazy to me is he stopped for joe!!! he was deadset on running straight to the stands for his dad barely pausing for a celly hand smack with yoshi but stopped!!! because hurricane bunny joe literally slammed his entire torso to his head!!!! and helmet bonked and everything!!!!!! ofc he had to yell something like lets fucking go joe or smtg to his qb who threw him the ball like!!!

in my head:

joe slams his helmet to jamarr like he’s aiming to mold their entire beings together. if they werent wearing helmets hed straight up smack a kiss even platonically. he’s yelling mouth wide open i don’t even think he’s saying words 😭 after jamarr hands the ball to his dad joes waiting in the sidelines for a calmer pinky shake and some actual words i am actually crying a bit at this

chase b and yoshi seeing jamarrs attention completely taken by an out-of-his-mind joe they promptly turn a 180 and leaving them to it 😭

god joe SLAMMED that shit (his own head) to jamarrs head // bunny hopping whenever his wr/rb/te make an insane play i love them your honor

the way joe jumps up one last time after landing the first time lorddd. the way jamarr stutters into a stop when he notices joe zooming at him and leaping up too in response but he's a beat late because joes already up in the air slamming his chest to his head so hard he's turned around and they're just staring a at each other in exhilaration before joe stalks forward to slam his helmet to jamarrs my godd you two

something so intimate about pressing your helmets together……inches between them with metal bars the only thing keeping your faces being pressed against one another…….you look forward and you see his eyes completely……….you breathe in and you smell him you breathe out and you’re pushing air to his face…….he yells out your name and its bass boosted in the space between you both and the press of the padding against your ears………youre walking in time with him in one direction but your eyes stay rooted to his and your helmet is still pressed against his………sports man sports………..

sorry thank you bye 😭

anon. anon. holy shit this is so fucking amazing oh my god. like you NAILED the entire description and all the feelings associated with it wow wow wow!!!

i didn't even think about the fact that he's running to the stands to get the ball to his dad as quick as possible but then he sees joe running FULL FORCE at him so he has to (very happily) deal with that situation! yoshi and chase noticing at the same time and deciding they are NOT going to try to get involved lmaoo

"god joe SLAMMED that shit (his own head)" is killing me hahahahaha. and i mean he really really did!!! just completely overcome with emotion and feeling/expressing everything physically because it's all just instinct taking over! truly the extreme of they don't need words! like they both understand each other perfectly here (even if they didn't quite sync up the jumps lmao)

and the beat they take where they're just staring at each other in exhilaration and joe's like, i'm not quite done, let me slam this shit "like he’s aiming to mold their entire beings together"oh my god anon you worded that SO perfectly 😭😭

and ja'marr was just giddy with everything. with the TD with the incredible play and 3 (three!!) broken tackles. i hope you see the slow mo i just posted of ja'marr's giant grin and his eyes closed just flinging himself into joe. the trust the joy the intimacy!!! they drive me CRAZY!!!!

[jev-urisk]

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today i'm thinking about mold, like emotionally. The feeling of moldiness vs feeling nourished and refreshed.

If you've struggled with depression & have worked at allieving it (✋️), you might relate to how unfair it is that many of the things you DO NOT WANT to do while depressed alleviate the depression. 🔀

Depression wants me to isolate, but reaching out and connecting to someone helps. 🫂 Depression doesn't want me to leave bed much less the house, but standing barefoot in my front yard for five minutes eases something in me 🌾☀️. Depression wants me to forsake myself, but damn if everything isn't easier after a long shower and a meal.🧼🍜

It almost feels like depression is a parasitic mold man that doesn't want to be eliminated and has the ability to plant strong 'don't wanna' messages into your gourd 🚫. If you stay alone and miserable the mold can really settle into your body and grow- it even tries convincing you the depresso mold is a dangerous substance like real mold is and that if you go for help you'll just hurt people.

Its so hard to not listen to my scummy little mold man! SO HARD (😏). And he has gremlin powers where if you feed the mold after midnight (or whatever 'past bedtime' is) he gets incredibly worse.

So im celebrating myself (he hates that) and listing some fuck-off-mold-guy activities I've done the past few days 💪

☀️ I made myself a beautiful ratatouille and a plum cookie cobbler

☀️ I asked my partner for back rubs

☀️ I sat in a patch of grass by the road and found a swirly rock

☀️ Watched a goose 🪿

☀️ Opened some windows and curtains and vacuumed

☀️ Redyed my hair (still green lmao 💚)

☀️ Had two friends over to share a meal and bark at Paul Hollywood

☀️ Complimented and flirted with my partner until they blushed and squeaked

☀️ Listened to Carbon Leaf in a hammock with a drink in my hand

☀️ Did paperwork I didnt want to do and then loudly congradulated myself for completing it

Like, I still hate the trend of "Oh you're depressed? You should just __". The use of 'just' is so diminishing, its so dismissive of how hard it is and how individual the depression is. Sure, I have a list of things I did lately that helped me, but im not 'cured', and I know as winter comes itll get harder and Ill need my therapist even more. It can be true at the same time that I've found some things that help me through, make the mold recede, and are worth congradulating myself over. 😊

I hope you all find some nourishment and refreshment as well ✨️

Monday taglist: @gioiaalbanoart (hmu to be +/-)

[gunmetal-ring]

anon again. i'm sorry that i keep coming to you with this depressing messages but you seem like one of the few sane ppl in this fandom and i appreciate your honesty.

truth is im feeling really disillusioned with hellcheer lately. we don't have a lot of "canon" content so after a while, it gets tiring going thru the same 2 scenes over and over again (especially when one of them involves chrissy's death). ive been relying on fandom but it seems like it's slowed down. fics arent updated as frequently, not a lot of new artwork.

heck, even joe and grace have moved on. joe's career is taking off. grace is leaving acting. it just feels like everything that happened last summer has come to an end :(

Aw anon thats okay. Ty for thinking of my feelings though 💓 (and also im flattered that you think im sane lmao)

Unfortunately its the way things go, especially with small ships, especially especially in a fandom as hostile as this one is. People come together and build community and share their love for characters and then g(r)o(w) their separate ways again.

But not everybody does! You and me, for example. And ive got plenty of hellcheer mutuals that seem perfectly content to draw, write, and rb their little hearts out.

I for one am absolutely astounded that theres even a fandom for hellcheer, let alone one with such talent and breadth and depth of love! Our characters had 2 scenes. Our girl was killed just as it all began. Our boy died with her name on his lips. In all likelihood we will never see them together on our screens again.

But somehow. Those ~10 minutes managed to foster an entire community of people and keep us engaged and in love w the characters for almost a year at this point! With no dangling promises or false hope or anything! Like we all know the score and we still go hard for hellcheer. Incredible.

Idk maybe it's just bc ive only had brainworms like this for 2 other ships and 1 of them is even smaller and the other one is a clusterfuck of unimaginable proportions, so im a little biased in terms of community/fandom, but im just like... idk. I think its really incredible thats all. And a testament to the very real power and truth of hellcheer 🥰

All i can say anon is that the best way to keep a fandom/ship going is engagement. Likes on tumblr and kudos on ao3 are great. But whats even better and more motivating (and i say this as a fic writer/meme shitposter so im speaking the total truth lol) is reblogs and comments. Tell people how much you love their work and how much it means to you, it goes a very long way. And on the flip side of that - stay out of the infighting. All it does is sap your mental energy and the fandom infighting bullshit is a major contributor to why people leave. The negativity and bitterness warp your perspective and make it really hard to remember what we're here for - it's not anti-st*ddie or anti-qu*nn stans or anti-anti-hellcheer or what the fuck ever. We're here for hellcheer!

Sorry my $0.02 is now $2.00 bc i ramble lol its a fatal flaw of mine. Anyway im sorry if this is annoyingly positive or dismissive but im in a strangely upbeat mood rn so there you have it

[jadebread64]

time for me to post my bullshit ramblings on the new doctor who episode in no particular order like a maniac lol

(SPOILERS AHOY, DONT CLICK ON THE READMORE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE EPISODE)

obviously seeing tennant and tate back in their roles is so cool, they feel exactly as they should, it doesnt even feel like 15 years have passed when you watch them its great

DONNA CANONICALLY HAS A NONBINARY DAUGHTER AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HER ALSO BEING PART OF THE METACRISIS TIME LORD SHIT IS SUPER COOL

lmao im not even joking when i first saw the meep™ i literally thought "aww it's so cute i hope it doesnt end up being evil" and LO AND BEHOLD

OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT JUST SUDDENLY PUTTING ON A FUCKING JUDGE WIG AND DOING A COURTROOM SCENE WITH THE MEEP AND THE WRARTH WHILE DONNA AND HER CONCERNED FAMILY JUST OBSERVE

also i think the wrarth voices are so funny cause in the trailers they're like *auurhghghg scary monster sounds!!1!* but in the episode they just sound british like every doctor who space alien should

i think the new TARDIS looks really cartoony and i think it's kinda fun, idk if ncuti is gonna end up with this TARDIS set (i'd imagine the bbc doesnt have the budget to make a whole TARDIS set for 4 episodes then just make a new one lol) but i think it looks kinda plain at the moment? idk if they added some chairs and bookshelves n shit like the capaldi one and make it look more lived in overtime it might be one of my favourites just for the whole classic who vibe it has. either way it's perfect for david he gets to run around like a little kid in there and thats all that matters lol

also tennants new suit looks so fucking good and honestly wish he just had that in series 2-4 instead of the brown suit

i think it's so funny how literally not even 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS donna just fucking spills her coffee on the console and the whole thing just explodes and goes to shit immediately lmao

ALSO WE'RE GETTING A FULL ON TENNANT/TATE ADVENTURE NEXT WEEK???? AM I IN 2008 OR 2023 I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE TIME HAS NO MEANING

im really hoping we get to see whoever the fuck neil patrick harris' character is in the next episode, im 99% sure it's gonna be the celestial toymaker but only because the doctor who youtube account kept posting celestial toymaker clips and i think they're being cheeky bastards lol (/positive)

(/sarcasm) i cant wait to see all the queerphobic assholes shitting on this episode for having the few pronouns/binary lines in it and going "dOcTor wHo iS wOkE nOw yUcK" even though doctor who has been progressive since literally 1963 with the daleks (which got a fancy new colourization that i need to check out still but thats a whole OTHER THING LOL)

oh yeah and david's acting is really fucking good in this, like when he thinks wilf has died and he just sorrowfully says "i loved that man." like MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

plus when he thinks he has to sacrifice donna to save everybody, holy shit his perfomance is incredible

this is just a me thing but seeing a doctor who episode live as its broadcasting is so cool, i've been watching this show for like 8 years (i think??) and i usually just ended up finding it on dailymotion or some shit like a day or two after the episode aired so i'd always be late for it lol (btw for the people coming after me i dont pay for disney+ at all lol) so watching it the at the same time as everyone else was very cool especially since i nearly slept in through it lmao

anyways i think thats all if i remember any more things i'll add em in lol

plus some bonus ramblings before the episode aired

[bonesnplywood]

oh nothing, just staring at the girl strawberry wine was specifically written for

sending you a GREAT BIG HUG across the screen, i hope work isn’t being too much of a pain in the butt and that you get longer breaks soon 🫶

amber, you are SUCH an inspiration to me bc of how dedicated you are to writing + the love and care you put into it. i’m always hypnotized by your worldbuilding and wordplay (every time i catch a little lyric ref i cheer LMAO). your talent absolutely shines in every fic and i can’t believe i get to be friends with you :,) you have me on the edge of my seat for your next fic!!

I LOVE YOU TONS N TONS!! say hi to baby leon for me and keep him out of the kitchen please 😔 it’s my duty as his aunt to worry </3

vivi !!!! oh my gosh ive just sat here reading and rereading this over and over YOUVE MADE MY DAY!! i saw this right after i clocked out of work but i didnt even wanna answer it cuz i wanted to keep it in my inbox foreverrr to just reread <33

you are SO incredibly sweet vivi, sending you the biggest hug back!! can you feel it?? 🫂

work hasnt been too bad lately! but i did get rostered for the entire week this week even though my availability is only tuesdays, thursdays and the weekend 😦

i also start my new job at the pharmacy tmrw! (#double employment) i'm already tired just thinking abt how busy this week will be for me </3

also what the HECK , im so incredibly honoured you think about my work like that at ALL!! especially when i look up to you so so much as a writer, it means the WORLD! i love that you always pick up my little song/movie references, i love weaving things i love into my work and it makes me even happier that other people are able to find them (+ i love finding song lyrics in your work too... touch tank by quinnie you will always be famous!!)

you are SUCH a fucking ray of sunshine, genuinely vivi you are so important to this community, your constant love keeps us going so often!! i hope you know you make a dent in everyone's day (a positive thing!) youre so important and so loved, giving you so many hugs right now HUG ATTACK!! 🫂🫂🫂

and dw, baby leon hasnt been in the kitchen since The Incident™️... he says hi to you too!!

[hpdfag]

hihi!! i’ve been through a rollercoaster lately, this morning writing the note and now i’m actually incredibly happy. (don’t worry, i would never die/get hurt like that! it’s more of a symbolic bpd thing to me.) so i haven’t been able to check in as well…you seem to be doing a bit well? maybe it’s not accurate, so correct me if i’m wrong, but the last time i checked in your account you seemed to be experiencing psychosis pretty badly (i beg you get back on your meds oh my goood) but today i didn’t see that! i hope it’s a good sign. get your meds tho loll

how have you been, really?? i’m still shocked by the mcdonald’s shifts. they’re traumatising seriously…i might never work there! although i probably should earn some money and stuff. just, how’s it been?? i missed you :)

- 🧶

HIHI !!! i hope you're doing well, i get that for sure and im glad you're feeling so much better :] and im doing good!!! i was having a really terrible time while i was off my meds bbut in my defense it wasnt my fault !! /silly

my psychiatrist didnt refill my mirtazapine before i ran out, the pharmacy needed her to approve more refills, and she didnt until after the weekend since she was off, so i ended up off of them for like. almost a full week </3 i had to take time off work and everything, i was having terrible physical withdrawals and mentally i was so paranoid i knew i wouldnt be able to hold myself together for a full 7 hour shift LOLOL

and honestly theyre not too bad! you get used to them surprisingly quickly, and ive been up at the front counter recently which is much chiller than the drivethru LMAO i get an order coming through maybe once every 10-15 minutes .. most of the downtime is spent either staring into space, sweeping the lobby, or wiping down tables, all of which r tasks im very confident in my ability to do without fucking up /silly

plus im much more willing to work 7-8 hour shifts when they give me free food on my breaks and pay me 16 dollars an hour (which is minimum wage here but still. so much fuckinm money (im jealous of california tho because their minimum wage for fast food workers is 20 whole dollars. wild!))

generally (excluding the time off my meds) ive been doing really surprisingly well! most of my free time has been spent doing schoolwork (i got rotary student of the month even!) or doing convention prep for kumoricon, though ive had some time for stardew valley and regretevator in there somewhere LOLOL its been good!!

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.31.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

busted (pt 1 + pt 2) - @btsgotjams27 (jjk x reader | married au, parents au, smut)

summary: your husband comes home with a new gift and you’re not happy with it.

oh.... this is wholesome

im usually partial to girl dad koo but i've been looking at his bby pictures lately and he was so cute ugh :'( picturing two lil kooks is killing me (also i see where u got the inspo teehee v cute jess)

also he's such a lil shit pls like he knows what he's doing being such a slut and avoiding the conversation !!! we love him for it !!!

this is my fav style of writing by the way. like when the reader is just dropped into a slice of the character's lives and you figure them out based on the context clues. like the fact that kook's mom died is such a small detail here but it adds so much to the world. you did so well with seamlessly dropping tidbits and making it natural, not an easy thing to do!!! but you did it so so so well in this!!

him licking his fingers clean after wearing her pussy like a ring had me

dad jk putting it the fuck downnnnnn on that bathroom counter SHEESH IM SWEATING!!! also the baby interrupting right before the nut is peak wholesome content lmao!! and the way you incorporated the title TWICE PLS A GENIUS AND THIS WAS SO INCREDIBLY HOT and i would love to see more of this lil family :') &lt;3

i want to be with you - @oddinary4bts (pjm x reader | idol au, s2l, f2l, fluff, slight angst, smut)

summary: moving to seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is park jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. will the reality of park jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?

first of all this is just what i needed um what is fanfic if not a vehicle to live out your daydreams anywho... something about moving to a big city and finding love is so fairytale-ish and magical and uGh. the more of these i do the more im starting to think we're all the same bc I RELATE SOME MUCH TO OC GTFO!! and that introduction made me so attached to her because there almost this childlike nature about her?? maybe childlike is the wrong wording but she has so much excitement and ambition, looks to the future with so much hope despite everything that she's been through. yeah. love her dearly will protect at all costs. and the way you contrasted this intro with the intro to the present day to show how now its not a daydream anymore n shes actually dealing w the reality of starting n moving somewhere new *chefs kiss*

"Sometimes, you wondered if faith existed. If there was a bigger plan to the universe, something written for you already that you couldn’t really escape from. It was the thought that crossed your mind as the doors finished moving, and a dark-haired boy – man – stared at you as you just stood there, mouth falling open."

god if theres one thing my communications major literature minor loves its this !!!! foreshadowing !!! like idk this paragraph just tickled my brain in the right way. it really is so beautiful. one of those that you look back on on a second read and smile because it means so much more and aged even better. truly stellar writing.

ALSO BRO THIS OC IS LEGIT MEEEE LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE OUT MY CLUELESS Y/N WHO HAS NO IDEA WHO BTS IS AND IS MYSTERIOUS AND NON-INTERESTED WHEN I HAVE A WHOLE TATTOO DEDICATED TO PARK JIMIN LMAO THE CHIMMY KEYCHAIN TOOK ME OUT BYE!!

"You expected his features to have that same disgusted scowl he always reserved for you, but his brows fell, as if he was ashamed, or perhaps sad."

"It was so human you found you had to look away."

and then just the pull towards eachother like this connection was legit fated was so fucking good. them taking care of eachother when they're drunk. hangover fucking soup :'). and then after everything with collin and jimin's spiraling they really needed eachother. like the stars aligned to set this pair up and its so comforting to read. BUT LIKE THE SLOWBURN MADE IT FEEL SO SO EARNED. AND THE WAY YOU ENDED IT WITH THE TITLE I COULD FUCKING SCREAM!!! so so so good. thank you for taking the time to write and share this masterpiece on the platform, you've made it sm better with this beautiful addition :') friends do not walk, RUN to read this.

[insertsona]

SURPRISE!!!! LAST MINUTE PROPAGANDA JUMPSCARE !!!!! VOTE CUPID FOR @pink-oc-tournament AS THE ULTIMATE PINK OC !!!!! PLEASE !!!!

you should vote for him because i like him and hes cool and also gnc as fuck and also i'll share cat photos on main if he wins lmao

anyway . who even is cupid? i shout about him occasionally and claim hes super important but i've never once explained him . well . heres his toyhouse . but also im gonna talk abt him under the cut :D

cupid is not the protagonist of the story hes in even remotely . in fact its kind of hard to be when he's not even around . he had a few close friends and generally had a pretty normal life . he Was a naive, easily trusting lover boy .

cupid was the first of 8 to 'work with' Michael (michael now being an incredibly well-known celebrity, but at the time was far from it .) and disappeared february 17th, 2008. cupid had been manipulated, used, and discarded once he outlived that usefulness.

he was missing for three years .

both cupid's presence and lack of presence in the story are what make him incredibly important.

how quick he was to fall in love influenced how michael treated his later victims.

his sudden disappearance is the reason his friend Lucifer (another charavter very key to the story) changed so irrevocably . though not even remotely intentional, his disappearance was responsible for deepening the wedge between lucifer and Kaden (one of lucifer's siblings . also like . one of the actual protagonists lmao) letting mike's later involvement deal that much more damage

in fact. most if not all of lucifer's actions in the main story link back to cupid and his disappearance .

the date he disappeared - 02/17 - is the passcode for the safe containing the ways to fix all 8 of the malwares mike gave to each of his respective victims. (the malwares is a whole other story just trust me on this)

him being found and helped lets lucifer finally Heal .

SOME OTHER FUN FACTS!!!!

cupid and his story is loosely based off my deltarune oc Loveluck (who is also very pink), but he's a seperate character !!!!

he eventually gets a boyfriend that actually treats him right lmao

his birthday is valentines day !!!!

hes pansexual :}

he was just barely 19 when he disappeared ! hes 22 as of the current point in the story (late febuary 2011)

his favourite colour is red !

without him rrfd Would Not Be The Same

his spotify playlist has like three entire one direction albums in it

contrary to what youd expect, cupid is one of the few characters that doesnt forgive michael for his actions . however, hes willing to move on from it and hopes michael is doing okay with kaden

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

it just hit me that my early 20s put down, i suppose, of "why would anyone bother dating me when im the least interesting person ever???? because i have no social life and no friends to invite me out to be interesting and funny????" really fucked me up.

like yeah, dgmw, it does absolutely suck that i didn't get invited out to parties and bar nights and concerts etc by friends/acquaintances basically at all in my early 20s, and one of the very few times that i was, it fell through and i never got invited out again..... but that didn't mean that someone else wouldn't have found me interesting and worth inviting out somewhere. it didn't mean that every single person ever would find me so painstakingly boring, mundane, lame and i guess unmanageable and unworthy of their time; that it just wasn't worth even trying.

obviously most of the "i have to be interesting for someone to date" bs probably came from my obsession in high school with himym, most particularly with my intense fixation on none other than barney stinson and his playbook shenanigans (i actually bought the playbook in 2010 and havent looked at it since lmao), and his bro-code bullshit for the show. and i guess to some extent it's also something to do with ted as well. i guess it also again comes from sex and the city as well. moreover, the funny date stories that i read in cosmo mag also made me feel like i had to be interesting. finally, it's probably attached to me watching far too many stand-up comedians (mainly women, but also some men), who always have bits about shitty dating app convos and shitty date experiences or behaviours in relationships that are hilarious.

i guess it was also part of my "im not other girls" bullshit i was on throughout high school.... and also in my early 20s- although i was slowly growing out of this stance by then, in the hope that i'd eventually make friends at uni if i was a little less judgemental and pretentious.

just anyway. idek where im going with this. i suppose it's a warning to my younger followers, if i have any, that for the love of god. you don't have to be interesting- whatever the fuck that actually means- for someone to date you. just date. get out there. bc if you focus so entirely on being "interesting", you'll get to your late 20s and realise that you've blocked out so many experiences and situations, all because you were so fucking concerned about "will this person find me interesting??? god i hope they will, so that im not boring and lame." I missed so many opportunities for growth all because I was paranoid about being interesting and trying to spin everything to be witty and engaging, instead of leaning into being just a bit ordinary and boring.

because if someone is nice enough, they obviously will be genuinely interested in you and your life. no matter how boring/normal/mundane etc you think you may be, someone will notice your other qualities and match your so-called mundaneness, but they'll make you feel special in midst of it all. fuck being interesting and mysterious and whatever other bullshit i thought i had to be in order to date anyone at all.

embrace your ordinariness, to an extent. because being so absorbed in trying to be interesting is, very ironically, incredibly tiresome and uneventful. it will make you feel rather empty and dulled inside: instead of being filled with tangible life experiences that you can share with someone and also learn from. all because you got to be seen and heard by someone despite how plain and unremarkable you may have felt. bc that's what i missed out on while being so attached to being interesting and entertaining in my early 20s.

[raid3r-r4bbit]

@fuzzydreamin thanks for the lol. ive been a little busy with life so sorry for the late response.

Favorite Color:

Green. Like Blindingly Neon almost yellow bile/acid toxic hazmat pukey green. Also black. I'm also a fan of earthy tones, warm greys and browns, rusty orangey reds, and i also unironically love that "some smoker lived here for 5+ years but i swear the walls are white" sepia color.

Last song:

Either Childish Flamingo or 1x1. I've been hopping in between really screamy and just goofy shit atm because i cant focus with anything else. 🤷 But (I also jsut got a new BMTH hoodie) BMTH's post human album has been feeding me. It's a really good (visual? no.) example of that like just angry and over it nihilist feeling and I just *MUNCH CRUNCH AAAA* like i feel like it could be just the tiniest bit angrier and louder but i think that's my headphones.

as for childish flamingo, its like that miseryxcpr thing imo. It's goofy and funny and it slaps. and it's so catchy. it's like right on the edge of aha funny and fuck you street and i love it. i hope any of that makes sense im sorry lol.

Last movie:

the Demon Slayer movie. I skipped all the way to the end to see the fight between Akaza and Rengoku because they're two of my favs ( in order from that show: Uzui (my mom calls yuzu (my cat) Uzui and its adorable) Akaza and Rengoku. I Found out the english dub is out (im way behind) and just needed to hear their english voice acting. all of it is amazing and Akaza's lil gigles during the fight make me incredibly happy. Guys who laugh/giggle mid combat? Ugh >\\x//<

Currently Watching:

Demon Slayer, Chainsaw man, Tokyo ghoul (im rewatching a bunch of animes) Steven universe. (i love all of these and full recommend them. I literally just yesterday(or the day before idk time is a blur) got a new funko pop, it's the half-kakuja kaneki and i love it.)

Other stuff i've watched this year:

Spy x Family, the Junji ito Collection, Yamishibai (if you like picture style art and horror this is great, its somewhat junji ito like, but shorter stories and ngl the zanbai ep scared me a bit) psychpass (some reccomended this to me cause im (obviously) a fan of darker more gruesome shows, and it is very dystopian, love the art work, but i just dont get it.) Given (if you havent watched this show please watch it its amazing) Yuri on ice, Banana Fish (also another fave)

(I work from home, and pretty much exist at my computer, and need to keep on music or tv to keep the bad thoughts out, so i have a lot of time and opportunity to watch stuff ok)

Shows I dropped this week:

Psycho pass. again, i just couldnt get into it. I know a lot of people seem to really like and it full seems like a show that would be up my alley. that first ep was kind of a lot though. I'm not ashamed to admit i love shows that are unafraid to show nudity and violence but the two together (ifykyk) make me uncomfortable. If this case had been a little further in the show i think it would have been fine, but it's litterally the first like ten minutes of the show. I also tried watching this a few week ago while at wasteland but we were pretty much just out the door.

Devil May Cry. I still love the games and the characters, and i remember loving the anime as a kid but its just... so different from the games lmao.

Currently Reading:

random internet stuff, fics and shit. I feel bad because i used to go to the library all the time but at the same time, i dont really have the room to store a whole bunch of books and despite being super dyslexic, i read insanely fast, so renting/buying books isnt worth it to me. (i've read entire full length series in the span of a day or two, while doing other stuff. I need longer, more conveniently packaged novels and that typically comes in the form of fanfiction. )

tagging: @snowmutant @ivanpahdrylakeracer @glaochormfitheach(idk if ur cool tagging you in this kinda stuff, if not just lmk i though it'd be fun :D) @the-soup-witch(im dragging you into tumblr culture whether you like it or not, welcome to tagging games)

[sowthetide]

heyyyyyyyyy im back (this is TeaInABowl). this is a bit late i guess but i havent been online in a few days (✨family crisis✨) snd just got caught up in reading the other asks. i wish you luck with your own family issues, little brothers are just Like That sometimes (i would know).

honestly the quen-verse is real. and its fucking with my mind. but i also have been having brainworms abt how much the story would shift with genderbending other characters. i dont want this ask to get too long and i know this is a sideblog for your quen fic but oh gids can i talk abt it pleaseeee

also you must have put some sort of spell on this story, i think. bc (here it comes) i dont ship throbb. and i dont like genderbent aus. yet… here i stand (???) i dont even remember how u found this fic, but it has me rooting for a ship that i found annoying on a good day???? ok maybe i should clarify, i dont like genderbent aus in modern settings, but asoiaf is such a gendered world tgat theyre actually interesting if done right (as you have!!!) and i dont HATE throbb i just. wasnt very fond of it. but one thing i DO love is whatever sort of gender fuckery theon has going on, so when i saw your story i thought “screw it, who cares abt the pairing, hell be at war snyway lmao i wanna see how many more problems squidboy can have” but now i want him back???? come home???? wheres the boy?????? our boy???

as for song recs, i have too many, and probably need to compile them in a more cohesive ask. in the meantime, its not quen related but i dare you to listen to “house of gold” by twenty one pilots while thinking of catelyn and robb. i fucking dare you.

"I should have known better. Asha knew how it went with little brothers... A little brother may live to be a hundred, but he will always be a little brother." Sigh. Truer words have never been written. I hope your family issues work out too! We are Fellow Strugglers in that.

The Quenverse is so real!!!!!! It's something goddcoward and I have discussed at length, including (but not limited to) full genderbend Throbb (with Quenlyn & Robyn) and the Ironborn-Tully "Let's Fuck Nasty" Initiative (with increasingly unhinged pairing up of Greyjoys/Harlaws and Tullys. This includes Alannys/Catelyn, Rod the Reader/Brynden the Blackfish, Gwynesse/Lysa, Aeron/Edmure, etc.) goddcoward also has a bunch incredibly fun AUs, including what has been affectionately dubbed "sigil furries", where the Greyjoys are actual humanoid cephalopods and the Starks are werewolf-maxing. Not to mention goddcoward's AU take on Quobb with arranged marriage, which they're still working on... ;-)

PLEASE talk to me about your vision!!!! Also PLEASE send any song recs you've got!!!!

I'm so incredibly flattered that this fic got you to like Throbb, even just for the purposes of this story. Also, confession: I didn't really like genderbends either- that is, until I started writing this story lol. I think it's just because I didn't feel like genderbends were often well-handled in ASOIAF fics, even for a world as Gendered as Westeros? (Not to say they all suck, I've just run into a few that I thought were... Ungood.)

Theon's experience with gender is so incredibly fascinating, and the prospect of him being born female raises so many interesting questions about who he would even be (and thus this fic was born lol). See vivacissimx's theon's gender was always broken, which is prob the #1 Theon Gender primer.

I'm also glad you came around to Robb, haha. You're sounding like Quen in my inbox: "now i want him back???? come home???? wheres the boy?????? our boy???" For a long time, I was mostly interested in Robb as a compliment to Theon and Catelyn's characters, but I've really come to appreciate him in his own right. I can't wait for all the tender Quen-Robb moments in the endgame of this fic 🥲