#i hope i still like curling my hair in 15 years

[cozylittleartblog]

my hair should gray just a little faster but then stop and stay that way

[loveshotzz]

I guess it’s never really over

mechanic!steve harrington x fem!reader exes to lovers

chapter three -

This has got to be the longest crush ever

Robin’s bad date, and a late night that changes everything.

warnings: 18+ A little bit of queer and mid twenties crisis angst for Robin, with comfort obvi. Tension, but are we surprised at this point?, and a secret third thing, wonder what it could be? 😚

wc: 6.3k

authors note: Hi babies! I am taking just a week off from my posting schedule for this week long work trip I’m taking on Monday. There’s lots of conferences and I won’t have much down time. We will resume our normal posting schedule for chapter four starting 3/20 🌻🧡

series masterlist | series playlist

June -

Would you believe me if I said I’m in love? 

                            Baby, I want you to want me.

You can’t believe you landed yourself in detention.

All your late night study sessions for the SAT’s that led to oversleeping and missed alarms finally catching up to you just like Robin warned you it would. Miss O’Donnell is the one who makes your best friend's predictions come true, handing you that notorious pink slip for walking into her class ten minutes late for the third time this week. 

When you arrive at exactly 3:15, the classroom is mostly empty. Your eyes scan the bored faces of the few students joining you, hoping to at least see Eddie’s familiar head of curls. But of course, today of all days, he’s managed to be on his best behavior or just didn’t get caught. 

Sighing defeated, you give Mr. Clark a tight lipped smile, ignoring the shocked look on his face seeing you in here. Picking an empty desk in the middle away from anyone, you decide to busy yourself with the Algebra homework you’ve been avoiding for the better half of a week. It’s when you lean over to unzip your backpack that you catch the sounds of sneakers squeaking against the ceramic floors.

”Ahh, Mr. Harrington. Even fashionably late to detention, I see. Your hair looks good enough to sit in silence for an hour and a half to me.” Mr. Clark announces the king of Hawkins's grand entrance with the kind of sarcasm that makes you smirk as you start arranging your things on your desk.

“That’s good to know 'cause I was doing it for you Mr. C.”

Steve Harrington always thinks he’s so charming

Snorting as you click your pen, you dare to look up only to catch ‘the hair’ looking right back at you with that golden smile that you’ve seen take even the strongest soldiers out. 

Oh no. 

Eyes going big, you quickly bring your attention back down to your homework, silently hoping he doesn’t take the seat next to you and land you in here next week too. 

“So thoughtful of you. Now why don’t you take a seat and do some studying for that test on Monday. And maybe this semester you won’t have to worry about relying on extra credit to keep playing basketball.” Mr. Clark dismisses him, earning a low whistle from the boy who holds his hands up in surrender, Nike covered feet coming down your row.

No, no, no, NO.

You still don’t look up, rereading the same question over and over again because no matter how many times you try, you’re too distracted by the cedar and clove that invades your senses kicking them into overdrive. The whites of his sneakers catch in your peripherals when he does the unimaginable and sits next to you.

Staring at the equation with the kind of concentration that’ll be sure to give you a migraine later, it takes him a good thirty seconds before he temporarily gives up trying to get your attention to grab something that gives the illusion of studying out of his backpack. 

Trying to play it cool, your stomach twists in nervous knots worse than the ones you get when Robin forces you on the janky rides at the summer fair every year. Sure, you’ve been hit on by a guy here and there, but no one can prepare you for what it’s like to catch Steve Harrington’s attention—especially for someone in your Hawkins hierarchy who would never be on the receiving end of it.

He flips through the pages of his textbook loudly, earning his first warning glare from Mr. Clark, and you decide to write your name on the top of the page so at least it looks like you’re doing something. After a couple bounces of your knee, you can feel the heat of his gaze back on you.

”Psst, hey.” 

The last letter of your name comes out illegible, and you jump at the hushed sound of his voice. Taking a deep breath, you work up the courage to meet his flirtatious smirk and golden brown eyes. The sun leaking through the windows gives you a glimpse of the green that hides inside them from this close. You hate to admit that he’s just as pretty as everyone says he is.

”Hi,” you smile a little shy, offering a small wave of your pen and it lights up his whole face, making your body buzz.

”You have a highlighter I can use or something?” He keeps up his ruse, the whites of his teeth showing in a grin.

You arch an eyebrow at him, something sarcastic reminiscent of Mr. Clark flashing behind your eyes. 

“What? You don’t think I’m actually going to study?” He acts shocked, slapping his giant hand across his chest and it earns the kind of giggle from you that pushes him full steam ahead.

”It’s blue, is that okay?” Giving into the bait, you try and hide the way your face warms, ducking down to dig in the bottom of your backpack.

”Are you kidding? I love blue. Favorite color actually.” Laying it on thick, you can see the way he scoots to the edge of his seat, the spice of his cologne making you bite at your bottom lip as your fingers wrap around what you’re looking for.

Sitting up in your seat, you aren’t expecting him to be so close and it threatens to steal the air right out of your lungs.

”H-here,” you manage, holding the blue writing utensil in the small space that's left between you.

Steve's eyes roam your face freely, pink tongue coming out to wet his full bottom lip before they settle back on your gaze, lids a little heavy, voice low and somehow sticky sweet.

”Thanks, honey.” He leans forward more, purposely brushing his fingers with yours when he takes it out of your grasp, “but now, I’m afraid the only way you’re gonna get it back is to let me drive you home after this.”

“I’ve got plenty, you can keep that one,” you try to stay strong, but when that second giggle slips out, you seal your fate.

”I can’t do that, this is your favorite one.” He tisks like it’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard, with a crooked grin that makes you bite the inside of your cheek.

”Is it?”

”Absolutely.”

“Are you two done? Or should we schedule a second date for next week?” Mr. Clark interrupts.

”That would actually be date number three. We’re going on two after this is over.” Steve smirks, throwing you a wink ignoring the harsh way you whisper of his name. 

Yeah… you were fucked.

“I’ve got a date tonight!” 

Robin sings excitedly, bursting through the front door in a wild ball of energy, successfully waking you up from your nap on the couch. Blinking slowly, as you start to recognize your surroundings, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you force yourself to sit up, wincing at your stiff neck and the fact that you dreamed about Steve Harrington again. 

“A date with who?” You grumble, still a little grouchy, yawning with a stretch that pops in your back.

”This girl that I met at the record store this morning, we talked about Tracy Chapman and Tori Amos for what felt like hours. She’s just, wow, she’s so cool. Almost too cool for me, you know? She’s a senior in college-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.” Cutting her off before she can ramble any longer, you wave your hands for her to stop: “First of all, no one is too cool for you, okay? If anything, it’s always going to be the other way around.”

“Yeah, okay, Steve.”

It takes a minute for her words to sink in about the man you haven’t seen in almost a week and a half, but when they do, the glare that settles on your face makes her laugh. 

“Ha ha, very funny.” You deadpan with a tight-lipped smirk, before clearing your throat, “Well where are you guys going? Do you want me to go undercover in case you need saving? I’m fully prepared for a stakeout.”

Robin rolls her eyes, but her smile, which spreads wide enough to see all her teeth, gives away her love for your dramatics. 

“No, I don’t need you to go undercover or anything. I mean, it is going to be nice knowing you’ll be here waiting for me to tell you all about it instead of having to call you and hope the city girl answers.” She teases, earning the scoff from you that she was looking for.

“I’m choosing to ignore that, and if at any point you change your mind, you know your own number.”

Earning a genuine laugh from Robin always makes your soul feel lighter, so when your joke lands and you get one, the heaviness of Steve that’s been weighing down on your shoulders eases up just a little bit.

”I’ve just never been approached in public before like that, you know? It’s not just the other girl you know is gay on campus. I don’t know, it feels good.” Your best friend’s confession makes you want to wrap her up in a hug, keeping the urge to remind her of your offer to move to the city with you to yourself for right now, letting her bask in the moment.

”Well, you're hot. Can you blame her? If you weren’t basically like a sister to me, I’d be all over it.” Wiggling your eyebrows, she flips you off, but you still catch the tinge of pink that paints her cheeks rosy.

”Please, Steve would have my head on a stake.” She snorts, purposely trying to get under your skin now.

”Robin.”

”What? I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel in his eye when I mentioned your little ‘adventure’ last week” She giggles, heading towards her bedroom.

If only she knew just how much those words were true. Your thighs meet like in the memory you can’t stop playing on a loop, palms turning sweaty, remembering the velvet of his lips so close to your neck.

”Wait! Did you ask that on purpose?!” You gasp, jumping to your feet to follow her.

”Maybe.”

”Maybe?!”

”You know what I do need help with?” She ignores you, spinning on her heel to meet your narrowed eyes.

”What?”

”Help me pick any outfit?” Pushing out her bottom lip, she gives you the kind of puppy dog eyes that no one in their right mind could say no to.

Sighing heavily, your feet drag on the carpet before flopping yourself onto her bed huffing out a “Fine” as the box springs squeak.

The rest of the day is spent going through what feels like every outfit in Robin’s possession, even getting desperate enough to try on some of your clothes despite your clashing styles. Settling on a pair of boot cut jeans, a black half crop top with a flannel shirt that you’re pretty sure she stole from Steve and the Dr. Martin’s you got her for her birthday last year, she was ready to break hearts. Blue eyes roll in the back of her head when you make her say ‘I’m the prize’ until you feel like she halfway believes it before handing over her I.D. that you’d found stuffed between the cushions of the couch in a frenzied panic to search for it only ten minutes prior.

The sun starts to set on Robin’s small apartment after she finally heads out the door, and the shadows that bounce off the white walls bring back the thoughts of Steve you’d successfully gotten rid of for a few fleeting hours. 

Huffing to yourself with crossed arms, you watch the flat bag of popcorn spin around in the microwave. You can still hear the beginning Moonstruck playing on the TV in the living room, over the loud hum of the machine. Comfortable in an oversized shirt that lands just at the bottoms of your cotton sleep shorts, goosebump dot across your legs from the cool of the A/C. Your skin still tingles everywhere he touched and the week of radio silence feels worse the second time around. 

The shrill sound of Robin’s phone and the first kernel of popcorn exploding in the bag overpower your ears all at once, making you jump. Mumbling cuss words under the now constant sound of popping, you try to calm your heart rate down, wandering to the living room. Your hand hovers over the phone, the realization about who might be on the other line making your stomach drop. He hadn’t called Robin yet. There’s a moment of hesitation, but you take a deep breath, letting the air expand in your lungs, silently counting to three before you grab the phone off its hook.

”Buckley residen-“

”I need you to come get me, I- I’ve made a huge mistake and I’m just so fuck - “ Robin cuts you off, the rasp in her voice cracking like she’s trying not to cry, “I’m just really embarrassed, please come get me.”

“What happened? Where are you? I’m coming, just - just tell me where you are.” Running to her bedroom to grab your sneakers with the phone pressed to your ear, you can hear her sniffle.

”Benningans, it’s the next town over. I’ll be outside -“

”Are you safe?” You panic, slipping your foot into your shoe as quickly as you can.

”I’m safe, I’m just, I’m embar- I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m safe, I’ll be outside.” She mutters.

”I’ll get there as fast as I can, okay?” Feeling a little helpless, you try to ease the hurt that’s evident in her tone with soft reassurance. 

”I’m just, I’m really glad you're here. I’ll see you soon.” She manages to get out before the line clicks dead.

Slipping your second shoe on, the realization that you don’t actually have a car to save her with, hits you like a ton of bricks. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Stomping back to the living room, your eyes find the mustard yellow address book next to the phone’s dock. Your fingers fumble through its pages, eyes squinting as you try to read Robin’s messy writing, searching for a familiar name. You find two:

Eddie and Steve.

You stare at the page, your moral compass going haywire. Despite the way he’s rented a space in your mind, the thought of seeing him alone again makes your stomach twist. Eddie would be simple. Eddie would be easy. Your thumb hovers over the first number in the one she has scribbled down for him, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t bring yourself to press it. She needs Steve.

You groan loudly, stomping your foot for good measure, before letting out a long breath through your nose, dialing his number that you knew you should have all along. 

It only rings twice.

“Whatever it is, the answer is no,” Steve deadpans.

”Is that really how you answer your phone?” You scoff, doing your best to ignore the butterflies you’ve managed to stifle as they start to come alive at the sound of his voice.

“I thought this was - shit, I thought this was Henderson - erm I mean Dustin, you remember Dustin?” He stammers and you know that hand of his is running through his hair right now.

“Yeah, the middle schooler.”

“Well, he’s like nineteen now -“

“I didn’t call you to talk about Dustin, Steve,” You sigh heavily, rubbing the bridge of your nose, “Robin called me really upset from Bennigans, and I don’t have a car or any way to go get her-” 

“I’m on my way.” He cuts you off without any hesitation,“Be outside in five minutes for me?”

”My shoes are already on.”  

After a click, you’re left with the sound of the dial tone in your ear. You hang up the phone as warmth floods your body, easing some of your temporary worries. 

Steve Harrington is making it hard to hate him.

The short walk to Steve’s BMW from Robin’s front door feels like stepping through a time machine.

One that takes you back to late nights sneaking out your bedroom window, always being extra careful not to wake your parents up so you could go make out with your secret kind of boyfriend under the stars. Those were always your favorite nights with him. The nights he’d put away the king Steve armor, those nights he’d just be Steve. A boy who just wanted to make his father proud, thinking maybe he’d stay home more if he was.

You can feel the way his eyes roam your body, the heat of his stare lingering on your exposed legs, setting your skin on fire. Suddenly more than aware of your lack of pants, only part of you regrets not changing into some leggings, but you try not to think about that too hard right now.

He clears his throat when you open the passenger door, the smell of leather and the dark woody sweet scent of oil surrounding you as you slide into your seat. The spice of his cologne tickles your nose when you close yourself in, clicking your seatbelt in place before daring to meet his eyes. The golden brown inside them shimmers with something you’d missed in the orange glow of the street light and the nerves still feel the same way they did five years ago. The only thing that hasn’t changed.

”Thanks for doing this,” you offer with a weak smile.

When he realizes you’ve put your weapons down for the night, his face softens with a crooked grin, subtle pink dusting the apples of his cheeks.

”I meant it when I said I can’t say no to you,” he starts, selfishly letting his eyes roam the smooth lines of your face that are finally not twisted up into a glare before realizing his slip up, “and Robin, my best friend obviously.”

”Our best friend, Steve.” You tease trying to ignore the tension that crackles in the empty space between you even worse than before.

”Whatever you have to tell yourself,” he winks, forearm flexing as he puts the car in drive.

Scoffing a ‘whatever’ with a playful roll of your eyes, you let your muscles relax into the familiar seat. The Police’s Every Breath You Take spills through the speakers just loud enough to be heard over the low rumble of the engine, and you become hyper aware of his hand resting on the stick shift, the tips of his fingers just close enough to brush against your thigh every time you hit a bump. 

There’s a silence that falls between you once the street lights run out and his full focus shifts to the pitch black road ahead. The quiet is filled with what almost happened in his room, unspoken words that don’t dare to roll off of sober tongues. You wait until he’s too distracted looking for surprises that might run out from the woods on either side of you to let your eyes wander over and really take him in.

A white drawstring hangs low on his heather gray sweatpants that fit tight over his thighs spread wide. Your throat goes dry at the white tank top that hugs his broad chest, the gold chain that wraps around his neck getting lost in the thick patch of curls on display. You’re finally able to really make out more of his tattoo for the first time, thin, precise lines that look like feathers attached to a set of sparrow wings.

”Did she tell you what happened? I mean, is she safe?” He interrupts your greedy stare, eyes lighting up when he catches you, tucking it away for another time.

”Uhh, yeah,” you answer with a shake of your head, teeth biting down on your bottom lip with hot cheeks, “she’s safe, she kept saying she’s embarrassed but wouldn’t tell me why, just kept begging me to come get her.”

He just hums, lost deep in thought of all the things it could be, and his grip on the steering wheel tightens with worry. 

“We’re only ten minutes away, so it won’t be too much longer now.” 

He reassures you, but it feels like he needs it too, especially when his hand leaves the stick shift to run through his hair that looks more tousled than usual, making you wonder if he was lying in bed before this. A worried breath exhales through his nose, with a tight jaw, and you hate the way your stomach drops when both his hands find the steering wheel after he tugs on his roots a little bit. 

Nervous fingers play with the bottoms of your sleep shorts, trying your best not to stare while you keep your gaze out the passenger window. Stolen glances are followed by tight lipped smiles when you’d always find him staring back. Honey and chestnut make your stomach flutter, and you think maybe some things never change. 

It takes less than the ten minutes that Steve promised for the back roads to turn busy, and bright with the kind of lights a small town on a Saturday night has. A slouched frame sitting on the side of the road catches in his headlights, getting closer you see that Robin’s waves have lost all the bounce she left the house with, along with the rosy tint in her cheeks. The flashing Bennigans sign spins a block behind her, and the orange bulbs match the burning ember on the end of her cigarette that dangles from her full lips. 

“Shit, it’s bad if she’s smoking,” Steve mutters, turning on his hazards as he pulls up next to her, the wheels of his car coming to a stop. 

She hollows her cheeks out, taking one last drag, waving at you to stop unbuckling your seat belt as she gets to her feet. Blowing the smoke from her lungs into the wind, she flicks the half smoked butt into the street before opening the back door, sliding into the leather seats with an exasperated huff.

“Just, don’t – I’m okay,” she starts, closing the door and shutting out the whir of the traffic outside. “Turns out her boyfriend’s best friend really likes Tracy Chapman and Tori Amos too. She really thought me and him might hit it off after our talk at the record store today. I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to go home with my two favorite people and feel sorry for myself.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” Steve doesn’t miss a beat. Turning around in his seat, he flashes her his million-dollar Harrington smile. “I’m the king of feeling sorry for myself.”

Her lips twitch, but when she sees the natural roll of your eyes at the boy next to you, it turns into a full blown smile. A little shimmer came through in the dulled-out color of her eyes.

Got me up all night

            all I’m singing is love songs.

“Honestly, now that I’m thinking about it, this girl sounds like a scammer, Rob. I mean, come on.” Steve snorts, rifling through her cupboards in the kitchen. Tracy Chapman and Tori Amos, what kind of game was she playing at anyway?”

Robin giggles from her place next to you on the couch, her head resting on your shoulder, the green apple of her shampoo still lingering on her curls that tickle your cheek. 

“Plenty of people like those artists, Steve.” She sighs, but you can still hear her smile, “It’s fine, I’ll just stay the lonely Hawkins lesbian for the rest of my life, no big deal.”

”Shut up!”

”Will you stop?!”

You and Steve chide her at the same time, hard eyes meeting from across the living room and softening. He doesn’t even try to stop the lopsided grin that pushes up your favorite cheek and you hope Robin doesn’t feel the way it makes your skin warm. 

“Whatever, I already warned you I’m going to be miserable. Gimmie a break, and you’re actually taking forever in there, by the way.” Whining, she sits up, sending a rush of fruit and leftover tobacco to your nose.

“Yeah, well, I can’t find your peanut butter,” he mutters, opening up the cabinet above the sink, the bottom of his tank top rising enough to see a sliver of sun kissed skin and a few more freckles. Why does it feel like there's always more?

”What are you even making anyway?” you ask, ignoring the way Robin’s head whips around. A smirk spreads wide across her face because you’re actually trying to make conversation with Steve.

“Just a little something that’s going to cure my best friend’s heartbreak,” he winks, the jar of JIF extra crunchy looking extra small in his grasp, twisting the cap off. “We came up with it together, actually.o biggie.”

Your gaze narrows, but he doesn’t miss the way the corners of your mouth twitch, something sparkling inside the dark gold in his eyes.

”Interesting, considering I ran to the store earlier to grab my best friend’s favorite ice cream, just in case.” You counter, something mischievous twisting up your lips. “You didn’t even think to stop and get it on our way home. Some friend.”

Robin’s smile lights up the room, very obviously enjoying the show, maybe even a little too much. Clapping her hands together, she lets out a content sigh before leaning back into the couch cushions.

”I really could get used to this,” she beams, “maybe we should have a contest, see which one of you can do the nicest things for me.”

You can’t stop the snort or the roll of your eyes that has Steve throwing his head back in a fully-bellied laugh, giving you the perfect view of his neck, and only Robin clocks the way your giggles are cut short and the secret way your eyes glaze over.

”I’m not gonna lie as much as I love crunchy peanut butter banana s’mores, I have to say Steve, the fact that she actually called you makes her the winner for the night.” She smirks, chuckling harder when you shove her with a hushed ‘Robin!’

His smile doesn’t fade as he starts to cut banana slices. Big eyes meet yours with the kind of look that threatens to melt you into the couch.

”That’s alright, I’ll be a gracious loser tonight, but just know, honey, I’m very competitive.” He warns, long fingers spreading the fruit evenly throughout the peanut butter that messily coats graham crackers.  

“I don’t like to lose, so it’s fine.” Your quick reply deepens the smile lines in his cheeks, putting the finishing touches on your snacks.

“Yeah, this is definitely the life I was meant to live,” Robin gloats, nudging you, “I’m the prize, right?”

It’s your turn to throw your head back in the kind of laugh that rattles in your rib cage, too distracted to see the lovesick way Steve bites his bottom lip watching you from across the room.

But Robin does.

With a heart so full it might burst, tears threaten to spill from the ocean in her eyes, daydreaming about moments like this, only ever thinking they would be something that stayed trapped in the confines of her mind. The warming feeling of happiness wraps around Robin like a blanket when she gets to sit between you both on the couch. A distant friend she hasn’t seen in a long time, a secret she’s kept mostly to herself. 

With a messy plate of half eaten treats and sticky fingers, she’s content watching Cher and Nicholas Cage fight over how much they love each other. Fully knowing that Steve is sneaking looks at you from over her head, smiling to herself at the nervous way you fiddle with your hands in your lap because of it.

Robin doesn’t fight the exhaustion that starts to make her eyelids heavy just a little halfway through the movie. It’s easy to give in when your body weight relaxes deeper into her side, and how Steve drapes his arm over the back of the couch, tucking you both into his chest with evening breaths.

You’re warm, cozier than normal, and it surrounds every part of you.

Cheek pressed against something that’s not firm enough to be the couch, you nuzzle yourself deeper, chasing the heat and the sleep that’s threatening to evade you. Your cushion starts to move, making eyes shift behind lids that aren’t ready to open yet. Lashes flutter, feeling the way your leg is slotted between someone else’s, and the warmth of a palm finds the small of your back, pulling you closer.

A deep sigh rumbles in your ear before fingertips lazily trace up and down the dip of your spine. Stubble tickles your forehead, and as coherency starts to come back to you, a softer patch of hair rubs against your cheek. The kind of spice and lingering sunshine that could only come from one person hits your senses, and the white cotton of Steve’s tank top finally becomes visible. 

The shift in your breathing brings his soft touches to a halt, the muscles you’re pressed on your side against stiffening. Realizing your hands are sprawled across his chest, just under your chin, you can feel the way his heart races under your palm. He’s everywhere, and despite the way you’ve told yourself you hate him, your fingers curl into the cotton of his shirt because it feels like home. Toes pressing into his calf, you wind your leg around his tighter, and it turns timid fingertips sure of themselves, tracing patterns between your shoulder blades. You don’t dare look up at him yet, or it would make the way your own hand starts to explore his abs that twitch under your red nails real. 

He feels different than you remember, there's more of him now, harder in spots that used to be soft. Your fingers get greedy, the blunt ends of your nails scratching along the outline of his happy trail, earning a low groan from him that vibrates deep in your core. Those butterflies that have made a permanent home out of you start to stretch their wings, and when they feel the soft velvet of his lips against your forehead, they tickle at your ribcage and kick up your heart rate. You wonder if he can feel it.

It’s the faintest kiss, one that you’re not sure you would’ve even felt if you were asleep, but it makes you lean in closer. Inhaling deeply, tears sting at the corner of your eyes when the familiar scent only makes you crave him more. After years spent denying the existence of his touch from your memory, it’s almost overwhelming to feel it again. 

The muscles in his arm underneath your neck twitch, and the fingers that have been drawing lazy circles on your back move slowly up your shoulder. The backs of them run down your arm before they finally connect with your skin, goosebumps exploding underneath his touch in a ball of electricity that you can feel on the pads of them that start a new path up the loose sleeve of your shirt.

You fiddle with the bottom hem of his tank top, the heat of his body radiating against already flushed skin. Brave fingers dare to dip underneath only to get stopped by a large palm wrapping around your wrist 

“Baby,” there's a hint of a smile and a little bit of grogginess in his voice that gives away that he hasn’t been awake that much longer than you, “I think you should at least look at me before I let you get under my shirt.”

Biting at your bottom lip, you push yourself deeper into his chest, embarrassed, feeling the gentle shake of his body when he laughs. 

“Come on pretty, let me see your face.”

His affection makes your heart swell, and you know what it means if you look him in the eyes. Your nails dig into the cotton, tugging at the fabric a little while you pull yourself together, lashes fluttering against your cheeks, shaking the rest of the sleep. Lifting your head up from its hiding place, you cross the line you promised yourself you wouldn’t, but when you meet the green that shimmers in the darkness of his eyes, and the crooked grin that twists up his full pink lips, it feels good to give in.

Releasing the hold on your wrist, he’s gentle, almost hesitant, when his warm palm cups your cheek. The rough pad of his thumb traces the line of your cheekbone feather light, and you can’t help but lean into his touch. No more armor, fleeting glances, or stolen looks, not when he’s this close and even more handsome in the glow of the moonlight. 

“Beautiful.” He murmurs just loud enough for you to hear, and your legs somehow wrap around his tighter.

”Yeah?” you whisper, your fingers coming up to the play with the gold chain dangling from his neck. “Why didn’t you kiss me then?”

”What?”

”Last week,” 

”That wasn’t the right time,” he sighs, eyes tracing every line of your face like he’s committing it to memory, “It would have ruined it.”

“Ruined what?” You press, twisting the metal between your fingertips, heartbeat ringing in your ears.

“My chance at trying to do this the right way, the way you deserve.” He doesn’t hesitate to say it, like it’s something he’s thought about for years, and it makes your head spin.

“What about now?” 

“That depends,” he hums, the pad of his thumb dragging across the slight pout of your bottom lip, threatening to steal the air from your lungs.

”On?” Your voice comes out just above a whisper. Tilting your chin up, you can still smell the peanut butter on his breath.

”If you want me to.”  He breathes, the tip of his nose running along the length of yours. 

Your hold on his gold chain tightens, pulling him even closer. His eyebrows pinch together when he feels the slightest brush of your lips against his, and he can still taste the sweetness of the banana.

”Please tell me you want me to.” 

The desperation in his voice is enough for you to tug him down, closing what’s left of the small gap, your top lip catching against his full bottom one. Just enough to feel the familiar silk that could leave a wildfire in their wake before you finally speak.

“Kiss me, Steve.”

A groan rattles deep in his chest, and he doesn’t hesitate to do what he’s wanted to since he saw you. Applying just enough pressure to wake up every last butterfly, the tip of his nose pushes into your cheek when he slots his lips with yours. It’s soft at first like he’s testing the waters, taking it slow so he can savor it, just in case you never let him do it again.

He pulls away enough to look at you, chestnut eyes blown out wide, and you hate that you already miss his kiss. Giving into everything you’ve fought for so long, it’s your turn to capture his lips. It stuns him at first, but when you open your mouth, his body melts easily into yours, and that big hand of his moves from your cheek to hold the back of your neck. Tongue swiping boldly across your lower lip, he begs you to let him in.

Moans get hidden, muffled inside each other's mouths after you grant him access, your fingers tangle themselves inside the thick forest of his hair that’s still just as soft as you remember. Nipping at his bottom lip, the grip on the back of your neck tightens and you can feel the way he kicks up in his sweats because of it. Your own thighs threatening close when you’re reminded of what’s between his legs.

“Baby,” he warns in between kisses, feeling the roll of your hips, but you don’t miss the subtle way he tries to meet them with his own.

It’s too easy to get lost in him, and the years it took to move past him make even more sense when your tongue finds his again. Fighting for dominance, you try not to think about the irreversible damage tonight might do to you as you tug at his roots, teeth scraping together, the kiss turns more heated by the second. Years of anger and longing come out in desperate touches. His hand finds its way to your hip, the pads of his fingers brushing against the skin under your shirt, sending a shiver up your spine, letting you roll them one, two, three times before tightening his hold.

He pulls you closer, letting you win before his nose nudges against your cheek, his lips finding the corner of your mouth. Catching his breath, he trails them along your jaw before making his way down your neck. Your chest heaves, fingers turning soft and slowly running through his hair. He hums against your skin, his hand staying under your shirt, the warmth of his palm covering the small of your back, leaving wet kisses on the sensitive spot behind your ear.

”Let me take you on a date,” he whispers, leaving one more under his jaw before pulling back to look at you.

”Steve -“

”Just one,” he begs, bumping his nose with yours, smirking when it makes you smile.

”Let me sleep on it,” you sigh, ducking your head under his chin to hide. Too many thoughts trying to occupy space in your mind with a head still dizzy from his lips.

”I’ll take what I can get,” he laughs, the tips of his fingers starting up the familiar patterns that started all of this, quickly make your eyelids heavy, nuzzling deeper into his chest. You weren’t ready to think about tomorrow yet.

🌻 chapter four

[romaevelizz]

Venus ˖ ࣪⊹

Severus Snape x Wife!Reader

sum: Over 15 years together. Their love was never second guessed or had changed, but was destroyed by something bigger than them.

warnings: Angst, cursing, mentions of children(their parents), character death. not proofread.

“I’m tired Severus..”

His eyes looking up at the women, his wife. He knew she was tired that she wanted this all to be over. She wanted to feel safe, she wanted for their children to be safe. He wanted nothing more than to make that possible for them, for his girls. But life’s not as simple as taking his family far away from the dangers of hogwarts and The Dark Lord.

The Darkness of their private chambers surrounded them, the only light coming from the fire, he hated seeing her cry. Her gentle hands whipping away the tears that ran down her face, the golden ring on her left hand that glistens. A symbol of their love, their trust, their devotion. As Severus made his way close to her he reached out his hands, them cupping her face carefully.

His eyes watched her carefully, part of him wanting to hear her thoughts, but they were still, just like he taught her. She was tierd her dark features showing the circles under her eyes the wrinkle in her brow become more profound, she was washed out her warm undertone now cool. His thumbs gently brushed her tears away, his hands pulling her close to him. Severus placed soft kisses on her temple, “I’m so sorry my dear..” he whispered into her hair placing another kiss.

He wanted to go Home, he wanted to take his girls home away from her but he couldn’t. She couldn’t ask him either because she knew, she knew that this was asked of him. That’s this was expected of him. He held her close as close as he could.

She couldn’t stand how the students were getting treated how her children’s lives were threatened if Severus didn’t follow through with the plans. Yet as plans proceed, things became more dangerous. Dangerous to the point of war, “They can’t stay here, if war were to break out who knows what would become of the castle.” Her hushed tone argued with her husband.

“If our girls leave from his line of sight god knows what he’d do, they’re safest here.”

“Zhuriya can stay, she’s the one he’s most fascinated with yes? She strong and able to protect herself, she had already planed on fighting alongside her classmates if things were to happen.” She hissed, “But Sa’diya and Elani can’t, for gods sake Elani is mearly months old and Diya is 5.”

He shook his head “They’re Safest her, please. Please don’t take them or leave them with someone else.” He spoke his tone begging for her to trust him and to not do anything rash that could put her in danger let alone their babies.

Moments of peace weren’t common by any means but even in the dark of times he could feel at ease. The dark of the night the cries of the newborn could be heard, yes at first it can cause worry. Hushing his wife back to sleep he spotted his 5 year old curled against her mother, kissing her head he slipped out of bed to retrieve the youngest. Her soft cries nothing out of the ordinary, just her vocally sharing her discomfort and hunger.

He hummed picking the baby out of her crib, the hushed tone of his voice immediately calming her down. By no means was another child apart of their plan of the dark lords take over nor a new born at that, a new born that was a bit more difficult than their other two. “hmm hello sweet girl… what causes you such distress..” He cooed craddeling Elani in his arms.

As he walked into the living room there sat his eldest candle lit by her side and book in her lap, her body curled up on the couch as she read. “I was going to get her.” Zhuriya spoke her gaze not leaving her book.

He hummed “There’s no need, hoping i don’t have to wake your mother to feed her,” he paused for a moment whispering a quick spell lighting the fire place. “reasoning to why your not in bed?” he asked standing next to the arm of the couch she rested on.

“no classes tommorow, and simply couldn’t sleep.” she spoke her tone flat, just as his always was.

his brows frowned, Severus knew his eldest and knew she could sleep in any situation. She was having nightmares again, at least that’s what he called them, to her they were types of visions in a way showing her things in the future. Sometimes, actually almost all the time they came true even if they were just close calls. “You want to talk about it?”

She looked up slightly “Their just nightmares right?” shifting in her seat she closed her book and sat up “They don’t mean anything.” she finished placing her book down walking past him into the kitchen.

“Zhuriya..” He called them nightmares to comfort her in a way or at least tried to comfort her, but in the end these dreams were always right. He watched as his eldes daughter grabbed a bottle that just needed heating up, quick wave of her wand it was perfect.

“You can go back to be dad i got her.”

Severus took the bottle form her, “I have her, now please. Tell me what you’re seeing, your mind is to still to invade it.” he spoke his tone a bit teasing at the end.

Ushering her back to the living space they both sat down, Zhuri next to her Father as he fed the baby. She played with her fingers as she built up the courage to say something, she looked just like her mother when she worried. Her dark curls covering her face as she looked down, “The Elder Wand.” she spoke softly.His attention was on her, what about it? what about the elder wand kept her from sleeping?

When her gaze met his he saw her waterlines building with tears, “When Draco, well when you disarmed Dumbledore, the elder wand no longer belongs to him. The master you could say is the person who disarms the last holder..” she spoke her voice shaky, “Now The Dark Lord has it. But It will never truly fully obey him unless.”

“Unless I’m killed.” he finished for her. He watched her lip quiver as she nodded.

Severus pulled her close to him, baby still in arms. There wasn’t anything he could say to comfort her because with that simple explanation it was inevitable. “Shh, My sweet girl..”

“I saw That snake sink it teeth into you. He didn’t even spare you the suffering, god.” her she spoke in a muffled cry. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head his arm still holding her close.

“Zhuriya, Baby what’s wrong?” the worried voice of her mother causing them to look up. ‘Don’t tell her what you told me, please my dear i need her to rest easy..’

He felt her nod against him “Baby what’s the matter?” she asked again now closer bending down infront of their daughter.

“Just stress of school, wondering if Draco is safe..” She muttered. Y/n held her daughters face kissing her daughters cheeks softly. The two exchanged some words he kinda shut down, He’d die? No, he couldn’t not while he’s still active he couldn’t leave them, He couldn’t leave Y/n.

“Severus.. Sev baby?” Y/ns voice broke him out of his trace.

He hummed “Let’s go to bed.. Elani is out and Zhuri is going to head back to bed. I put Diya back in her bed but don’t be surprised if she’s in yours Z..” she hummed.

Zhuri shook her head a small smile tugging at her lips “She struggling to stay in her own bed?”

His wife nodded “She’s just at the age and with everything going on…”. Zhuri nodded“right.. Goodnight mama, night Daddy. I love you guys.” Zhuriya said before heading towards her room.

As she left to room His wife looked at him, “what was that?” she asked. She knew that her daughter had lied to her.

Severus shook his head as he approached her, his hands falling to the side of her arms. With a kiss to her temple he whispered “Tis nothing my love, let’s return to bed..” his works comforting as he hugged her and the baby in her arms. The hug lingered Severus closing his eyes tightly as he embraced her.

He spend every day since that night taking in as much as he could with him girls but knowing when he’d be taken from them. Showing them his love for them in affection he never really displayed, kissed to the temple, constant I love yous, hugs. Everything he could.

Y/n knew something was wrong but nobody would tell her, she was left in the darkness of his affection. How cruel of him to keep this but, he couldn’t just tell her, his wife that he’d die in days time. That soon it would be the last time he’d kiss her and embrace her, after years of being by her side. She’d lose her mind knowing that he’d die as some point and end up trying to prevent it.

Severus felt his heart stop when that moment the dark lord started explaining to him the reason of his wand now fully working for him was because of him. He knew that this was that moment. He knew that morning was the last time he’d see his girls and by gods they weren’t even fully happy. He wouldn’t get to see them happy again and it’s his fault.

“Promise me, by killing me you won’t touch them. You wont hurt my family.”

Laying on the cold ground, the taste of his own blood sickening to him. Potter was the first to find him, “Just hold on professor, please just hold on.” He spoke. Harry’s trembling hands left his throat as he got up.

“Y/n… i’m so sorry..” his voice soft as he cried out for his wife.

He would die here alone, maybe it was better that way. He could feel his heart to slow down, the difficulty of breathing becoming harder. He begun to close his eyes, just as he did, just as he was about to let himself take his last breath.

Her voice. “Severus! no! No, no, no..”

The cry of his name leaving her mouth. opening his eyes he saw her rushing towards him.

No, don’t do this. His heart begun to break watching as she fell to her knees her hands immediately falling to his wound. He couldn’t hear was she was saying her voice muffled as she could only watch her, his weak hand finding her face as she sobbed.

Her beautiful features covered in tears, dirt and blood. Even as distraught as she was she was still so beautiful, His heart heavy as she trembled her touch becoming shaken. With the strength he had left he brought her close to him, her hands never leaving their spot.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered.

Her heavy cries begging him not to leave yet. That she needed him, that his girls needed him still. Her hushed tones say that this wasn’t fair, “You’ve only ever done what’s asked of you..” she said lifting her head looking him in the eyes.

“They’ve done nothing but set you up for your own death. It’s not fair….” she cried her fire heat touching his, he felt her tears on his own face.

“You didn’t ask for this life..” he rasped , “This wasn’t the life i promised you… I love you so much.” he cried softly.

“you’ve done more that enough for me, for us.”

with a heavy breath she begun again “I couldn’t ask for anything more from you..” she could feel his touch become softer his hand falling from her.

In this moment was their love was destroyed by The man everyone feared.

She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t bear losing another one of her boys, the lose of their first and only son, her father and now him. the most important men in her life always dying off like this with her begging from them not to leave her. Them always calling out her name before she could save them.

She couldn’t lose him too, but perfect could keep this love alive his death was inevitable. wasn’t it. this was always the way he’d be taken from her. She couldn’t tell him how he couldn’t have lister her vetted that he was always the man she asked for. But in the end they were always ment to say goodbye.

Severus became cold to her touch. “Thank you.. Thank you for loving me, loving me better than anyone ever has.” he spoke, his breath horsed.

“I love you so, i love you so much Y/n.” He said his finally breath in play.

He could bear it, But in this moment was the best way he could’ve died, in her arms, her weight on him. With her his death could be peaceful. He wasn’t alone, she wouldn’t ever let him be alone. Not in their years of hogwarts, Not when his parents died, not when he first got his mark, not when he begun to close him self off, not now. He promised her no matter how long he’d have to wait, in every universe in every timeline he’d wait for her. Even if he died alone. Cause how could such a women be left by her self, how could he love another women as he did her?

Even in death he still looked so gorgeous, but god did looking at him make this harder. But she had to accept it she couldn’t save him, Not with out her taking her own life and even then who knew if it be sucssesful, She couldn’t leave her children orphans.

He was still holding on, she couldn’t imagine the pain he was in the sharp sting of venom in his body. “Fuck..” she cursed shaking her head.

“I know… I know it’s time for you to go.. it’s- It’s okay.” she cried softly, her permission letting him close his eyes.

Letting go gently she fell into his chest, his heart no longer beating. He was really gone. Covered in his blood she held on to him for a bit longer.

All severus as done was do was was told on him, he never did anything not asked of him. Dumbledore and Voldemort i’d be planing his death for years. For years the only light and care he’d experience was with his girls. Now he’s never see them again.

Even though he was.. well dead his brain wasn’t he could still feel her presents, hear her voice. surrounded by Darkness the last thing he heard was his eldest. Her blood curtailing scream, That was was last thing he had to remember hearing. His first daughter and his wife screaming his name, their cries together unbearable to his heart.

Just one last chance, that all he wanted, he couldn’t leave them.. he could put them through that pain. His heart ached.

“Severus…” His name was called out, Y/ns voice ringing trough his headspace.

“Severus, my love..”

He felt his eyes open, his body sitting up quickly his hand falling on to his chest quickly his hands touching his throat.

“Shhh, Shh it’s okay…” she hushed her hand falling or his chest and back, her body sitting up already.

His Eyes fell on her, her brows frowned, quickly he brought her into any embrace.. “Sev it’s okay.. It’s been over.. Your okay. You’re safe now you’re here with us.” she whispered her arms hugging him back.

“how long..”

“5 months..” she said.

He nodded him still holding her. Opening his eyes he notices the were in their private chambers at hogwarts. This bc had gone back to normal, he was at work again, he knew his two youngest were in their rooms sleeping soundly. His eldest away Exploring and studying in Russia.

Pulling back he looked as he in the eyes “Were safe, our girls are safe.” she reassured again.

“I know i just.. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” he spoke simply kissing her lips.

[sailoryooons]

Maybe suga x reader where they watch a scary movie together. One of them is scared and the other pretends to be scared, I don’t care who 😊 just a cute fluffy mess. Friends to crushes, they can confess or not (whatever you want to do) but I just wanna giggle and kick my feet LOL 🥺

☾ Pairing: Yoongi x gn reader 

☾ Summary: Yoongi hates scary movies. He’ll never tell you that of course, content to suffer through your October scary movie marathon if it means getting to snuggle up to you on the couch. 

☾ Word Count: 1,254

☾ Genre: Humor, Fluff, Mutual Crushes

☾ Rating: SFW 

☾ Warnings: Mentions of being afraid of movies/clowns, Yoongi has Trauma from IT lmao, mentions of movie deaths, unconfessed feelings, a little bit of pining, really nothing else 0 this is short and sweet. 

☾ Published: Sunday, September 15 2024

☾ A/N: I actually love the idea of Yoongi who is afraid of scary movies but watches them because it makes reader happy :) I hope you enjoy it!! 

☾ A/N 2: There are no gendered terms or references to this reader, so I have labeled it as general neutral for the purposes of this fic. 

☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Main Masterlist ☾ Ask ☾ Haliween 

Yoongi has never liked scary movies. He remembers the first time he saw one, having snuck into the living room when his older brother wasn’t watching to curl in the armchair, eyes fixated on the screen. He remembers the way his fear became deep rooted, eyes wide as a killer clown murdered everyone in Derry, dragging them down to the sewers.

He’s hated scary movies since then - especially ones with clowns. 

Yet he can’t help but let you drag him into your annual month-long marathon of Halloween movies. Some of them aren’t so bad - your marathoning isn’t exclusive to things that terrify him and keep him staring up at the ceiling at night with the bathroom door open and lights on. Like Hocus Pocus - that was a great film and he’d slept soundly afterward. 

Tonight is not going to be like that. You’ve primed him for days leading up to tonight, gushing about how Scream is your favorite and you want him to try and guess who the killer is before the big reveal. He’s not very good at guessing, but the way your eyes light up when you open your apartment door to find him with popcorn and soda in hand make it worth it.

A lot of things are worth it with you. Like going to the farmer’s market on a really busy day, or going to some pretentious coffee shop forty minutes away because their rose latte is your favorite, or being dragged to a very crowded bar to see a band that you like. 

Your friendship with Yoongi shouldn’t make sense. You like bright sunny days and going outside on walks, venturing into crowded places to watch people, introducing yourself to new friends and chatting with people at the bar. Yoongi likes cold and rainy days and staying inside, keeping to himself at the few places he’s familiar with, and tucking away in a corner with his headphones. 

He likes to say you adopted him as a joke, but it’s not really a joke. You have adopted him into your friends circle, bringing the quiet boy from your freshman algebra class into the fold. Years later, you still greet him with the same oozing excitement as the first time you introduced yourself, bursting at the seams with kindness. 

“You didn’t cheat and look up anything, right?” you demand, suddenly serious as you sit down on your couch and fold your legs. He smirks and shakes his head, brushing the dark hair out of his eyes as he sits in the middle. “Good. You need to make honest guesses.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know the rules.”

Your grin is blinding and for a second, the world is nothing but the beat of Yoongi’s thundering heart and your smile. He blinks and shakes it off, watching you from the corner of his eye as you settle into the blankets, throwing the corner toward him to keep him warm. 

Tentatively, he pulls the covers over his knees as he pulls them up onto the couch. The blankets are from your bed so they smell like you, vanilla and cinnamon. Hitting the lights on the back of the couch, you douse your apartment into darkness as the TV flickers to life, opening up the movie’s beginning.

Yoongi’s heart is already pounding. Both at how close you are and at the anticipation for what’s going to come on screen. Slasher movies aren’t his favorite, a little too realistic for him to comfortably watch them. 

Still, he watches with muted interest as Casey answers an old school phone, leaning on a counter while the world’s most unsettling voice talks to her through the receiver. 

“That voice would freak me out,” Yoongi admits. “What’s that one we watched with the you’re gonna die in seven days?” 

“The Ring.”

“Yeah. People need to stop answering phones.”

“You gonna stop answering my phone calls?”

He pouts. “No.” 

Your laugh is like tinkling silver. He grins, pleased as you lean toward him, shifting so that your arms are pressed together and your head is resting on his shoulder. He lets you snuggle him despite the fact that for the next five minutes, he can barely follow what’s happening on screen because his heart is slamming and his thoughts are dizzy. 

Yoongi has no idea if you know how he feels. He doesn’t think you do - there’s no way you’d cuddle up to him and make him flustered and confused if you did. You’re not the kind of person to lead him on, which leaves him stranded in a sea of do you or don’t you like him. 

It’s a puzzle he keeps trying to solve himself without asking you, which has resulted in zero solves or answers. 

Yoongi flinches the first time Ghostface comes on screen, mouth tilting downward. You peer up at him, eyes wide. The TV light reflects in your eyes as you watch him, a question in your gaze. He clears his throat. “Caught me off guard.” 

“Uh huh.” 

Yoongi feels his heart race when Casey begins running across the field on screen. He can almost imagine what it must be like to run for your life, chased by some crazy person in a mask and - 

The movie pauses. He blinks and looks at where you’re watching him, smirking. “What? He asks, eyes wide. “Why’d you pause it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you don’t like scary movies?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Yoongi, you’re squeezing my thigh.”

He becomes hyper aware that his hand is on your thigh, squeezing tightly as his anxiety increases. He feels warmth spread up his neck and he lets you go, turning away to hide the way his ears and cheeks turn red. You giggle and he squirms under the embarrassment, looking anywhere but you.

“Come on,” you urge. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You like scary movies.”

“So?”

“So,” he emphasizes, pouting. He won’t look at you, suddenly interested in his nail beds as you continue to stare at him. It’s dark in your apartment and you still sit close to him, thigh pressed against his. “I enjoy doing what you enjoy.” 

“We can watch something else.” 

He shakes his head. “Really, it’s okay. I want to find out who the killer is.” 

You chew on your lower lip, the silence heavy for a minute. “Would it help if I held your hand?” His eyes shoot up to look at you, checking if you’re serious. It seems you are, all the humor vanishing from your face as you stare at him with an earnest expression. “Only if you want to.”

“Maybe.”

Your lips twitch in a smile. “What if I told you it would help me if we held hands?”

“Then definitely.” 

When you smile, Yoongi knows you’re onto him. He feels his stomach flip when you lean in close, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon making his head swim as you press a chaste kiss to his cheek. He feels warm all over, fingers and toes buzzing as you settle back into the couch much closer to him. 

He stretches his hand toward you and you link your fingers with his. He grins at the warmth of your palms and the way you tug your laced fingers into your lap, leaning into his shoulder again. Hiding his smile, he relaxes into the back of the couch, ready to take on any scary movie in the world if it means having whatever this is with you.

“Press play,” he urges, leaning his head on yours. “I can definitely do this now.” 

-

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[avonne-writes]

omg for the prompts hs au and "— “can i hold your hand? is that weird to ask?”" would be TOO cute

Thank you so much for the prompt! 💖 Just a short drabble this time, but I hope it will bring us all a little positivity. Giggly 15-year-olds galore! I might post this on AO3 later.

Edit: posted on AO3

An upbeat pop song echoes through the cavernous hall of the supermarket as Gale follows Bucky from aisle to aisle. For a Saturday morning, it’s rather busy, but Gale doesn’t mind. It gives him an excuse to walk closer to Bucky and let their arms brush sometimes, their thick coats catching on each other. If only it wasn’t the middle of winter! Then, maybe, he would've been able to touch Bucky's skin too. He probably runs hot, Gale imagines. Would his skin be really soft? What would it taste like if Gale kissed it? What would it smell like?

Technically, this is their third date. Although Gale isn’t quite sure if shopping for snacks together is a date, it's just the two of them and he’s having fun, so he’s going to count it. And who knows, maybe Bucky means to ask him to come over after this? Or they could just go hang out at the mall again, where they first kissed. It’s still hard to believe that it happened. Only a week ago, and yet it feels as though Gale's entire world shifted on its axis. He has a boyfriend now!

A boyfriend who's sweet and kind and funny like he always hoped for. Someone who likes spending time with him and talking to him, and who cares what he thinks about stuff, unlike his parents. The fact that Bucky is so cute to boot blows Gale's mind every day. In the past seven days, he found himself daydreaming several times a day, thinking about all the kisses they've shared - eight now! - and wanting to pinch himself. It’s almost too good to be true.

"Check this out." Bucky snickers suddenly and stops by a random shelf piled with cheap, weird hats. He pulls one out of the pile and puts it on, covering his lovely brown curls with a green beanie - a beanie that, apparently, has a knit beard attachment. Bright orange.

"Handsome." Gale giggles. Bucky's blue eyes twinkle with joy when they meet his. He can feel his face heat up, but he can’t stop smiling, even as Bucky steals Gale's very normal and boring beanie, ruffles his messy blond hair and tries to put a beard beanie on him too.

"Come on, Buck, try it on."

"No, thank you!" Gale protests through a laugh, pushing Bucky's hands away and scuffling with him playfully until a man passing by gives them a dirty look. It hits Gale like a blast of icy wind. Makes something inside him clench tight. Whenever an older man disapproves of him, he feels like he wants to disappear.

Bucky seems to sense the shift in Gale's mood because he tosses the ridiculous hats back on the shelf and rubs the back of his neck.

"Sorry." He says awkwardly. His ears and the pale skin of his cheeks turn bright red.

"No, it’s -" Gale bites his lip, unsure how to say he kinda looked like my dad. He ends up tilting his head and giving Bucky a tentative, lopsided smile. "You said you wanted Skittles?"

"Right! Can’t forget the Skittles." Bucky grins at him in a burst of blinding joy. He skips forward, turning to walk backwards for a moment, with Gale's beanie still captive in his hand. "Favourite flavor?"

Gale rolls his eyes as he follows him. "They all taste the same."

Bucky stops and lets Gale walk close enough to him that their coats almost brush, this time face to face. He and Gale are almost the same height, so all it would take Gale to kiss him is to tilt his chin forward. But he’s not brave enough to do that just yet, so he just watches Bucky's eyes until he can’t keep a straight face anymore and bursts into a quiet laugh.

Grinning, Bucky holds up Gale's beanie and presses it to Gale's chest. "You can get it back if you tell me the answer."

Gale looks away to the side, then up at the ceiling before he finally finds the self-control to return his gaze to Bucky's. He has been smiling so much that his cheeks are starting to hurt. "Green." He says eventually.

Bucky's smile widens, his eyes crinkling. Instead of giving Gale the hat like Gale expects, he puts it on Gale’s head himself, then slips his hands down to Gale's burning cheeks. Before either of them can really think it through, he swoops in and presses a quick peck to Gale's lips.

Nine, Gale's mind sings giddily as Bucky pulls away and starts walking again.

Something about the way Bucky has just kissed him in public without hesitation makes Gale want to be brave too. He falls into step next to Bucky and moves his shaky fingers until they touch Bucky's own.

"Can I hold your hand?" He asks through the rush of excitement, then cringes immediately. What is he, five? Fuck, he should have just gone for it, shouldn't he? Now it's all awkward. Did he mess it all up? He glances up at Bucky’s surprised face. "Is that weird to ask?"

Bucky blinks, then laughs. It's not like his usual mischievous chuckle or the horse laughs he and Curt share sometimes - this is a quick exhale of joy, pure and child-like. He grabs Gale's hand with his own, holds it in his warm grip and swings their linked hands between them as they keep walking.

"No, it’s not weird." He squeezes Gale's fingers. Gale can already feel the dampness of sweat gathering between their palms, but he doesn’t care. The supermarket might as well be heaven for how he feels. "You don’t have to ask though."

He gives Gale a glance from the corner of his eye. "I'm your boyfriend after all."

"True." Gale smiles at his boots. There are so many butterflies in his stomach that if he wasn’t holding Bucky's hand, he might float away. "What’s your favourite Skittle flavor?"

"Red." Bucky replies immediately. His thumb starts play-fighting with Gale's. "I think it’s strawberry... The sweeter, the better, you know?"

Gale nods. When Bucky winks at him, it’s like flying.

[dollsinvogue]

Clawdeen Wolf core doll diary scans

Found a bunch of old monster high diaries and I wanted to share them! Also does anyone else remember these “unlock more online” codes??

English + Français transcription below

English:

this diary belongs to: Clawdeen Wolf

This is my diary. If you want your life to last longer than it takes to read it. You won't.

Unlock more online: MHCWPACK

July 14th

I got up late so there was no hot water left then I cut myself shaving this cause my razor was dull and I was in hurry to get out of the freezing water but amazingly enough the day actually went down hill from there… Later on Crescent, the alpha Kitty, must have sensed my mood cause instead of spending the night prowling around he curled up in my lap and Kept me company while sorted through my funk.

July 15th

It rained today. I hate the rain. It totally caused my hair to poof out and I was not about to spend the rest of the day looking like a were-poodle. So I grabbed a pair of electric clippers and 15 minutes later I had a new 'do. It's short, scary cute and perfectly wolfish I think I'll keep it for a while or at least until this rain goes away. I have decided that when I control my own fashion empire I'm going to have a stylist on call just for rainy days.

August 4th

I hate, hate, hate! sharing a room with my sister. Howleen totally growls in her sleep, she wears my clothes and she got sprayed by a skunk last week which means that every time she takes a bath, which isn't often, it stinks up the whole room. I'd hope she gets fleas but she'd just spread them to me.

August 7th

I've got to get serious about planning what I'm going to wear on the first day of school this year. I mean It's not like I'm worried about some monster showing up and looking more fabulous than me but I feel obligated to set the bar for everyone else. Last year on the first day of school I caused a minor traffic jam just walking across the school parking lot. It's going to be hard to top that but I've been experimenting with some new hair styles and I'm considering just asking for a school assembly so that crowd control won't be a problem.

August 10th

I tried a new hair remover made especially for werewolves. The label says it will totally eclipse unwanted hair and it's supposed to keep you hair-free for a week …not. It's expensive, it stings worse than wolfs bane and I still have to shave twice a day! What a rip…I could have used that money for a new belt.

August 15th

spent the day at Draculaura's. She's the absolute sweetest BMFF ever! Although if she doesn't stop trying to feed me tofu im going to bite her j/k ;p. She has like rooms and rooms of clothes. It's like a fashion museum. So awesome! She always says that were going to pick out clothes to give Ghoul Will but she always gives most of them to me. I pretend I don't need them but with so many brothers and sisters it's not like there's a lot of extra money to go around for new fashions. I guess we must have gotten a little loud though cause we woke up her dad. He doesn't really like werewolves very much but he tolerates me cause I'm friends with Draculaura. Whatever. It's not like I want to hang out with him either. Anyway, the best thing about Draculaura is that she doesn't give me clothes because she feels sorry for me, she does it because she’s my friend.

August 19th

Went to the Maul with Clawd today. He needed a new football and I needed to get some ideas for my next hair style. While I was there I saw the strangest thing. I was walking past the witches Kitchen supply store and saw Deuce Gorgon reading a cookbook! I yelled "Yo Deuce, trying to find a recipe for snake?" He dropped the cookbook and looked all embarrassed; at least I think he was. It's hard to tell what's going on behind those glasses. I think he would have tried to stone me but Clawd walked up and Deuce chilled. Sometimes it's cool to have the toughest guy in the school on your side. Thanks bro!

August 21st

If I were a mad scientist, the hairstyle experiment I tried today would be locked away in the lab never to see the light of day again. I flat ironed my hair so it was straight and then I razor cut it. As soon as the curl came back things got ugly. Even Howleen felt sorry for me. It's a good thing I'm the werewolf equivalent of Rapunzel and my hair will be grown out by the end of the week or I’d be wearing a hat until Halloween.

August 23rd

Draculaura tried to talk me into trying out for the fearleading squad again. Puhh…leeze. A list of why I'm not a fearleader:

I. I don't "Try out" for anything.

2. I wouldn't be caught human in those uniforms.

3-8 Boring and Cleo de Nile

9. While they're yelling for the boys I'm in the stands flirting with the boys.

10. Boring and Cleo de Nile.

I have thought about trying out just to show I could nake the team but then I look at my list again and it reminds me why I don't want to.

August 25th

Hung out at the Maul with Draculaura and met a new girl named Frankie Stein. She was shopping with her mom and fortunately for Frankie then ran into us. Otherwise she would have started the first day of school dressed like the Bride of Lame-n-stein. Frankie's beautiful and sweet but a bit naive. Fortunately, I’m here to make sure she gets properly educated in the ways of the fierce fashionista.

September 5th

Our annual End of summer family bar-boo-que was todan. Mmmmm...fat juicy steaks for everybody. Except for Draculaura of course. She brought tofu dogs, veggie burgers and a human boy named Jackson Jekyll. She'll always be my BMFF and the sweetest monster ever but ghoulfriend makes some strange choices. Anyway, I could tell he was really nervous, and what human surrounded by werewolves wouldn't be, until Clawd started talking about football and then the two of them kinda hit it off. I think Draculaura is major league crushing on this guy.

September 6th

I know most monsters are probably dreading starting school but not me. I want to learn as much as I can so that I'll be totally prepared when I start building my fashion empire. If for nothing else than to be able to move out of the house and get my own place without having to share everything with all my brothers and sisters. Oh no! I think I smell Howleen in the shower! Why couldn't I have been an only wolf?

About Me

Name: Clawdeen Wolf

Age: 15

Monster Parents: The Werewolf

Killer Style: I’m a fierce fashionista with a confident no-nonsense attitude. I'm also gorgeous, intimidating, and absolutely loyal to my friends.

Freaky Flaw: My hair is worthy of a shampoo commercial and that's just what grows on my legs. Plucking and shaving is definitely a full time job but that's a small price to pay for being scarily fabulous.

Pet: Crescent, a scary cute little kitten as fuzzy as I am.

Favorite Activity: Shopping and flirting with the boys!

Biggest Pet Peeve: I hate having so many of my brothers and sisters in school at the same time. They're annoying, embarrassing, and totally know how to push my buttons. Oh, and Cleo de Nile.

Favorite School Subject: Economics. One day I plan on having my own fashion empire and I want to know as much about business as I do about fashion.

Least Favorite School Subject: Gym. It's only because then won't let me participate in my platforn wedges.

Favorite Color: Gold- it’s the only thing Cleo de Nile and I can ever agree on

Favorite Food: Steak...rare.

BFF's: Frankie Stein and Draculaura

Français:

ce journal appartient à: Clawdeen Wolf

Ceci est mon journal intime. Si tu veux que ta vie dure plus longtemps que sa lecture...Tu ne le liras pas

Accède à plus de contenu en ligne: MHCWPACK

14 juillet

Je me suis levée en retard, et il n’y avait plus d'eau chaude. Ensuite, je me suis coupée en me rasant parce que mon rasoir n’était pas bien affûté et que j'étais pressée de sortir de cette eau glacée. Et la journée ne s'est pas améliorée... Plus tard, Crescent le chaton alpha doit avoir senti que je n'étais pas de bonne humeur, car au lieu de passer la soirée à tourner en rond, il s'est couché sur mes genoux et m’a tenu compagnie tant que je ne m'étais pas remise de mes émotions.

5 juillet

Il a plu aujourd'hui. Je déteste la pluie. À cause de ça, mes cheveux étaient hors de contrôle. Je n'avais pas l'intention de passer le reste de la journée avec un look de caniche-garou. Alors j'ai pris deux tondeuses électriques et 15 minutes plus tard, j'avais une nouvelle coupe! C'est court, effroyablement joli et reflète parfaitement ma nature de loup. Je pense que je vais garder ce style un bout de temps, ou au moins le temps que la pluie cesse. J'ai décidé que lorsque je dirigerai mon propre empire de la mode, j'aurai un styliste de garde rien que pour les jours de pluie.

4 août

Je déteste, déteste, déteste!! partager une chambre avec ma soeur. Howleen groque dans son sommeil et elle porte mes vêtements. Une mouffette l'a arrosée la semaine dernière, ce qui signifie que chaque fois qu'elle prend un bain, c'est-à-dire pas très souvent, ça sent dans toute la pièce. Je lui souhaiterais bien d'attraper des puces, mais elle me les transmettrait aussi.

7 août

II faut que je pense sérieusement à ce que je vais porter pour la rentrée scolaire cette année. Ce n'est pas comme si j'avais peur qu’un autre monstre ait l'air plus fabuleux que moi, mais je me sens obligée de mettre la barre assez haute pour les autres. L'année passée, lors de la rentrée, j'ai provoqué un mini-embouteillage rien qu'en traversant le stationnement de l'école. Ça va être difficile de renouveler l'exploit, mais j'ai essané quelques novveaux stules de coiffure et j'envisage de demander une réunion scolaire pour qu'il y ait un meilleur contrôle des foules.

10 août

J'ai essayé une nouvelle crème dépilatoire conçue spécialement pour les loups-garous. L'étiquette dit qu'elle fait totalement disparaître les poils indésirables et elle est censée les empêcher de repousser pendant toute une semaine... mon oeil! Ça coûte cher, ça sent pire qu'ne meute de loups et je suis toujours obligée de me raser deux fois par jour! C'est du vol... J'aurais pu utiliser cet argent pour une nouvelle ceinture.

15 août

J'ai passé la journée chez Draculaura. C'est vraiment la plus gentille de toutes les amies! Mais si elle essaie encore de me faire avaler du tofu, je vais la mordre! Je blague...;p. Il y a plein de pièces remplies de vêtements chez elle. Un véritable musée de la mode! C'est super! Elle dit toujours que nous allons choisir des vêtements à donner à des oeuvres de charité, mais elle m'en donne toujours la plus grande partie. Je fais semblant de ne pas en avoir. besoin, mais avec tous mes frères et soeurs, il ne reste pas beaucoup d'argent pour magasiner. Je crois qu'on a fait un peu trop de bruit l'autre jour parce que nous avons réveillé son père. Il n'aime pas vraiment les loups-garous mais il me tolère parce que je suis amie avec Draculaura. Peu importe. Ça n'est pas comme si je voulais être son amie. De toute façon, ce qu'il y a de bien avec Draculaura c'est qu'elle ne me donne pas des vêtements parce qu'elle a pitié de moi, mais parce que c'est mon amie.

19 août

Je suis allée aux Galeries l'Épouvante avec Clawd aujourd'hui. Il avait besoin d'un nouveau ballon de football et je cherchais de nouvelles idées pour ma prochaine coiffure. Là-bas, jai vu quelqu'un chose de très étrange. Je passais devant le magasin de chaudrons de sorcière et j'ai aperçu Deuce Gorgon en train de live un livre de cuisine! J'ai crié «Hé, Deuce! Tu cherches une recette de serpents?» Il a lâché le livre et avait l'air très embarrassé, du moins c'est ce que j'ai pensé. C'est difficile de deviner ce qui se passe derrière ces lunettes. Je crois qu'il aurait bien essayé de me transformer en pierre, mais Clawd s'est approché et Deuce s'est calmé. Quelque fois, c'est cool d'avoir le gars le plus costaud de l'école de son côté. Merci!

21 août

Si j'étais un savant fou, l'expérience de coiffure que j'ai essayée aujourd'hui resterait à jamais sous clé dans le laboratoire. J'ai utilisé un fer pour aplatir mes cheveux avant de les couper au rasoir. Mais quand mes boucles naturelles sont revenues, le résultat était horrible. Même Howleen avait de la peine pour moi. Une chance que je suis l'équivalent de Raiponce chez les loups-garous et que mes cheveux auront repoussé d'ici la fin de la semaine, sinon j'aurais dû porter un chapeau jusqu'à l'Halloween.

23 août

Draculaura a encore essayé de me convaincre de passer une audition pour la brigade de la terreur. Pfff... sans espoir. Voilà la liste des raisons pour lesquelles je ne veux pas être dans la brigade:

I. Je ne fais pas d'auditions pour quoi que ce soit.

2. Je ne voudrais pas être vue dans ces uniformes.

3-8. C'est ennuyant... et Cleo de Nile

9. Pendant qu'elles crient pour encourager les garçons, je suis dans les gradins en train de flirter avec les garçons.

10. C'est ennuyant... et Cleo de Nile

J'avais pensé essayer juste pour montrer que je peux entrer dans l'équipe, puis j'ai jeté à nouveau un coup d'oeil à ma liste et ça m'a rappelé pourquoi je ne veux pas.

25 août

Je suis allée aux Galeries l'Épouvante avec Draculaura et nous y avons rencontré une nouvelle fille qui s'appelle Frankie stein. Elle magasinait avec sa mère et, heureusement pour Frankie, nous les avons rencontrées. Sinon, elle aurait commencé l'école habillée comme la fiancée de Horrible-stein. Frankie est belle et charmante mais un peu naive. Heureusement, je suis là pour assurer son éducation dans la plus pure tradition de la mode.

5 septembre

Aujourd'hui a eu lieu notre barbe-queue familial destiné à commémorer la Fin de l'été. Mmmmm.... des steaks gras et bien juteux pour tout le monde. Sauf pour Draculaura bien sûr. Elle avait apporté des saucisses de tofu, des hamburgers végétariens et un humain du nom de Jackson Jekyll. Elle sera toujours ma meilleure amie pour la vie et le monstre le plus gentil qui soit, mais elle fait parfois des choix étranges. Mais bon. J'ai remarqué quil était vraiment nerveux (mais quel humain entouré de loups-garous ne le serait pas)... Jusqu'à ce que Clawd commence à parler de football. Ensuite, ils ont eu l'air de bien s'entendre. Je crois que ce garçon intéresse vraiment Draculaura.

6 septembre

Je sais que la plupart des monstres n'ont pas le goût de retourner à l'école, mais pas moi. Je veux apprendre le plus possible pour être bien préparée le jour où je commencerai à bâtir mon empire de la mode. Même si ce n'est que pour pouvoir quitter la tanière et trouver un endroit pour moi toute seule où je n'aurai pas à partager quoi que ce soit avec mes frères et soeurs. Oh, non! Je crois que je sens Howleen sous la douche! Pourquoi je ne suis pas un loup unique?

Infos Personelles

Nom: Clawdeen Wolf

Age: 15 ans

Parents monstres: Le Loup-garou

Look d'enfer: J'adore vraiment la mode et j'ai une grande confiance en moi. Je suis également ravissante, redoutable et d'une grande loyauté envers mes amis.

Particularité: Mes cheveux sont diques d'une pub de shampooing... Le problème c'est qu'ils poussent aussi sur mes jambes. L'emploi d'une pince à épiler et d'un rasoir constitue définitivement un travail à temps plein, wais dest ou petit prix à paver pour paraître effroyablement fabuleuse.

Animal de compagnie: Crescent, un petit chaton affreusement miguon qui a autant de duvet que moi.

Activité préférée: Magasiner et flirter avec les garçons!

Ce que je déteste le plus: Je déteste avoir autant de frères et soeurs à l'école en même temps. Ils sont Tannants, embarrassants et savent exactement convient viénerver. Oh j'allais aublier...et Cleo de Nile.

Matière préférée à l'école : L'économie. J'aimerais avoir mon propre empire de la mode un jour, alors je veux en apprendre autant sur les affaires que j’en connais sur la mode l’étudier

Matière que aime le moins L'éducation physique. C'est juste parce que je v'ai pas le droit de mettre mes chaussures à plate-forme.

Couleur préférée : Or - C'est bien la seule chose sur laquelle Cleo de Nile et moi sommes d'accord.

Nourriture preférée Un steak... saiguant.

Amis pour la vie: Frankie Stein et Draculaura

[bunniandhoney]

pls I need jacob w a Latina reader🫶🏻 can be smutty or fluffy🤭

I’m feeling a wee bit of fluff for this.

—

imagine you all had been dating for a while, like you are spending so much time together that your family is definitely trying to figure out what’s going on. Your mom, bless her, already knows that this is about a boy and she’s been waiting on this moment your whole life. She gives a slight smirk every time you leave for a date or if flowers are sent to the house.

your dad on the other hand is pretending not to notice, but he’s horrified because you’re clearly no longer his little girl.

your little cousin is finally getting confirmed this weekend at her church and your parents, as her padrinos, are giving her a party after. your mom has suggested that this is a good time to bring your “friend” around. and boy was that an idea lol!

Jacob is slightly nervous when he pulls up to your house that weekend, vigorously running his hands through his curls. He pulls out three flower arrangements from his backseat and heads to your front door. When he rings the door bell no one answers, but he knows people are there because of the music. Just as he is about to ring the doorbell again he see you coming from the side of the house.

“Hey baby, you made it!” you say greeting him with a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, I rang the doorbell, but nobody answered! Oh and these are for you.” he replies handing you a bouquet of red roses.

“Come meet the family!”

As soon as you all make it into the back yard, Jacob is welcomed with open arms. You lead him around, introducing you to your tios and tias. Your tios are definitely strong arming those handshakes, but Jacob is taking it all in stride. Your tias on the other hand are pulling him in with a kiss on the cheek, like they’d known him forever.

Your mom just might like him more than you after she receives her flowers from him. “Why don’t you ever buy me flowers?” She says hitting your dad on the shoulders. He walks away grumbling under his breath about Jacob showing off. She is playing the perfect hostess as she shows him around the house. When she stops in front of the mantle Jacob’s eyes stop on a doll that scarily looks just like you. When your mom sees where his eyes are locked she pulls down the doll

“Te recuerdas mija? mi muñequita” recalling the memory of her baby girl.

You know what’s about to come next, and suddenly your cheeks are heating up as your mom reaches to replace the doll with the baby pink and white laced photo album. Jacob is still confused, until the first page is open and a picture of 15 year old you is on the page.

“Mama, él no quiero ver esas fotos”

“Y, ¿porqué no? estabas una princesa !” she says tearing up.

You’re shaking your head in embarrassment as your mom shows Jacob the pictures. You never thought you’d regret matching the rubber band to your braces with the bright pink ball gown or the amount of curls you claimed you needed because big hair was essential back then. She shows your dad gifting you the doll and switching your shoes. But when she turns to the picture of you dancing with your chambelan de honor Jacob turns to face you. “Who was that?” he says squinting at you.

“Oh that was my ummm—“

“tu primero novio, no te recuerdas mija?” your mom interrupts, clearly confused about your lack of memory of your quince.

While Jacob’s Spanish is minimal he definitely knows the word for boyfriend. “So you keep pictures of your old boyfriends huh?”

“what? no!”

He raises an eyebrow in skepticism

“Don’t worry, I’ll be up there in our wedding photos!” He says with a big grin.

You and your mom turn to him shocked. But he just turns back to the book wanting to see more of your quince pictures.

Your mom looks up at you, laughing “guapo y romántico, que bueno mija!”

Watching him laugh with your mom you know you’ve picked your forever. 🤍

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hope you liked this one was sugarplum! 🤍🧚‍♀️

this was so fun, but was having flashbacks of all the times i’ve been one of the damas😭 and my mom has been a madrina like 4-5 times, so stressful!

please send in more requests, i’m having a ball over here!

——————————————————————————

oop also translations:

Te recuerdas mija? mi muñequita: do you remember my daughter, my little doll.

Mama, él no quiero ver esas fotos”: Mom he doesn’t want to see these pictures!

Y, ¿porqué no? estabas una princesa !: And why not, you were a princess!

tu primero novio, no te recuerdas mija: Your first boyfriend, you don’t remember

guapo y romántico, que bueno mija!” : handsome and romantic, how good!

[toomuchracket]

sneaking out (matty x reader smut)

day 15 of promptober, and part 2 of this blurb i really liked! this isn't actually part of any of my established universes (shocking, i know), and it's the first time i've ever written any sort of sub/switchy matty, but fear not - the toomuchracket staples of him being simpy as fuck and some secret pining are present! basically, you haven't seen your old fwb in a minute, and neither of you can resist leaving the main event for a chance to reconnect... it's filthy, hope you enjoy <3

"matty, babe, do you actually know where you're going?"

"haven't a fucking clue, sweetheart," comes matty's cheerful reply, as he tugs you through the doorway out of the main exhibition. with a look to the right then the left to make sure you're both alone, your back is suddenly pressed against the cold wall, matty's hands are at the back of your head, and his lips are on yours.

fuck. you've missed this. you tell matty as much - gasping for air between words, clinging to his shoulders just to keep yourself tethered to reality - and he smiles and says he has, too. it's an odd association, but his eyes remind you of melting chocolate when he says it. warm. comforting. inviting. sweet.

you don't tell him that, though, because he'd (rightfully) rip the piss out of you. instead, you make a little kissy face, and preen internally at the speed and enthusiasm with which matty kisses you again. his hands flatten, gliding over the expanse of your velvet-covered back and down the contours of your hips, before suddenly gripping your bum. the motion shocks a moan from your lips, and matty smiles against them as he uses his grip on you to push the fronts of your bodies together.

he's hard. 

your ego skyrockets so quickly it threatens to break the sound barrier. four years apart, and you can still make matty healy pop a boner after only three kisses? incredible. you feel yourself smiling - no, smirking - into his lips, hand trailing down his suited body to scope out your handiwork.

matty groans as you touch him, pulling away from your lips to talk. he grins cutely, at total odds with the kneading routine his hands are doing on your arse. "i really wasn't kidding when i said i'd missed you."

you open your mouth, and the name escapes it before you even have time to think about what it might mean. "good boy."

"oh, fuck," matty whines, burying his head in the crook of your neck. he presses little kisses to the skin there and across your exposed collarbone, savouring the trace of your (familiar) perfume under his lips. despite the fact you're flush against him, his hips seem to grind of their own accord against yours; anytime there's a hint of friction, matty's breath shakes.

in short, you've fucked him up. big-time. and isn't that just delicious?

"mmm, baby," you moan, half from how hot his reaction is and half from how good his kisses - now trailing towards the plunging neckline of your dress - feel. with just enough pressure that he groans against you again, your nails rake up matty's back and entangle themselves in his curls. when you tug on them, he bites down on the exposed side of your tit with a whine; he soothes you with his tongue, while you soothe him with soft circles on his scalp. "have you missed being a good boy for me?"

matty nods against you, but it's not enough. you pull him back up by the hair to look at you, and jesus fucking christ, what a sight he is to behold. his lips and cheeks are both bright red, his jaw is dropped and quivering slightly, and the beautiful chocolate warmth of his eyes is almost invisible, so dilated with lust for you are his pupils.

he looks fucked, and you've barely touched him.

the mere sight of him is enough to get you (more) wet. you could give up now, pull him into another room with something you can bend over, let him flip up your dress and ease the presumably agonising pressure in his trousers. it would be good for both of you, great, even, you know that firsthand. 

but you're having too much fun taunting him to give up now, so you keep one hand in his hair, and ghost the nails of the other one down matty's face to hold his jaw. "need you to use your words for me, gorgeous."

matty nods vigorously. "missed it so much, missed you so much. haven't been good for anyone else."

"only me?"

"only you."

and you believe him. it took a while - almost two years, out of the four you were… whatever you were - for you to get through to matty that it feels good to relinquish control sometimes, so you're not totally surprised he hasn't done it with anyone else. a weird cocktail of emotions washes over you: pride, and satisfaction, yeah, with a hint of affection, and then a bitter melancholic aftertaste. he was never yours, in the traditional exclusive sense, but at least you have that tiny little bit of ownership and power and claim over him.

no. you can't let feelings get in the way of this arrangement.

not again.

you force out a smile, which does actually become genuine when you consider the way matty's looking at you. he's doe-eyed, desperate… and it's all for you. that makes you happy.

and you want to make him happy, too. but first, you want to kiss him again, so you do. he returns it with aplomb, cradling the back of your spinning head and moaning into your mouth. 

matty whines when you break the kiss, but he shuts up the noises of complaint when you start to unbutton his shirt, crouching and kissing down his chest as you go. "sweetheart, what are you doing?"

you look up at him, all blinking eyes and curls falling over his face. fuck, he really is beautiful, especially like this. "rewarding my good boy," you say, as innocently as you can muster, while you pull your dress up over your knees and settle onto them on the marble floor. "if he wants me to, that is."

"he does," comes the groaning reply from above you.

"good. missed having you in my mouth, sweet boy," you smile as you unbutton matty's trousers. pulling them and his boxers down just enough to free his mouth-wateringly hard cock, you lick over his hip tattoo with a flat tongue to tease him, before working your hand over where he needs you most. the noise he makes is heavenly. "i'd brace yourself on the wall, if i was you, baby."

matty's no sooner done as you advise before you're dragging your tongue up the underside of him and sucking his tip into your mouth. "shit!" he hisses, turning to use his own arm to muzzle himself. 

the motion reminds you that you're still in public, and a rush of heat hits your core alongside the realisation hitting your brain. huh. that's new. although, you think, maybe the public aspect is less sexy just because you might get caught, and more so because you might get caught specifically with matty. for a brief moment, someone else might know he's at least somewhat yours.

that's a can of worms to be opened another time, though. and if you do get caught… you at least want it to be good. so, you take a deep breath and then more of matty into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as much as possible as you suck him off. he whines your name into his arm as you do, and it takes everything in you not to slide the hand not wrapped around the base of his cock into your underwear and get yourself off too. this is about him, right now. you'll have your fun later. you know it. you know matty.

besides, his knees are jerking so much that they might give in at any second, so you wrap your free arm around one to keep matty steady. he whispers a thank you in between his breathy moans, and you look up at him and wink in response; he giggles, pretty face cracking into a beautiful, albeit exhausted smile, and you can't help but giggle back around his cock. the vibration seems to rocket right through his body and leaves it as a choked moan, which only eggs you on further - with a final squeeze of his base, you wrap your other arm around his other leg, and use the leverage to slowly take even more of him into your mouth and throat.

the effect it has on matty is visceral. you can't look up to see his face, but if you had, you would've watched his jaw drop a full beat before the throaty groan left it. on some sort of base instinct, his hands fly to your head; as soon as his fingertips brush your hair, though, matty jerks them back with a series of whimpers. "m'sorry, i didn't mean it, i won't do it again, i'll be good."

you didn't even have to remind him of the rules. bless him. you reach up to grab matty's hand, rubbing what you think are comforting circles into the skin as you continue to suck him off; you want to calm him down before you take him out of your mouth.

still, though, he panics slightly as you slide off his cock with a pop, frantically murmuring hushed apologies. shushing him softly, you jerk him off slowly as you talk. "shhhh, baby, it's alright. you were such a good boy for me. really."

"but i-"

"you touching me isn't the reason i've stopped, baby," you coo, kissing the hand you're still holding. "well, it kinda is, but i'm not doing it for punishment - i'm asking if you want to take over."

matty blinks a few times. "really?"

"mhmm," you nuzzle your head into his thigh cutely (you hope, anyway). "you've been good for me, and now i want to be good for you."

"you've already been good, though. you literally sucked my dick in the corridor outside a classy event."

you sigh, frustrated. "don't make me ask you, matty."

he smirks. fuck, you almost forgot how quickly he could switch. he's almost as good at it as you are. "well, a good girl would ask…"

"alright," you sit back on your heels, quickly pressing a kiss to the head of his cock before letting go of it completely and resting your hands in your lap. "will you please pin me to the wall like you promised earlier, and fuck my throat until you cum?"

matty closes his eyes and inhales deeply; on his exhale, he slides his fingers into your hair and tilts your head up so you can look at him. "whatever my good girl wants, she'll get."

fuck.

"thank you, baby," you tilt your head further to kiss the palm of his hand, and he smiles. "can i do something really quickly before we begin?"

matty nods, then gasps as you slide the straps of your dress down your arms, the fabric folding down over your chest and exposing your tits. you giggle. "i figured things might get messy. don't want my beautiful dress getting ruined."

"it is a beautiful dress. beautiful dress for a beautiful girl," matty smiles, hand tenderly cradling your jaw. his eyes light up the way they do when he gets an idea, and he quickly shimmies his suit jacket off and folds it, placing it behind your head to cushion it slightly against the wall. "and we have to protect that beautiful head of yours, don't we? s'my favourite, after all."

"my actual head, or the head i'm about to give you?"

matty smiles sweetly. "both."

you don't think he's being totally sincere, but whatever. you can at least pretend. so you smile just as sweetly back. "thank you. can i make you feel good, now?"

"of course, sweetheart. i don't think i'll last long, considering how well you already sucked my dick, but tap my thigh three times if it's too much, yeah?"

"yeah."

"good girl," matty crouches, kissing you so quickly you barely have time to react - before you know it, he's back up, cock in hand. "open your mouth for me, angel. and don't forget to breathe."

the pet name is so incongruous with what you're doing that you almost laugh, but you don't. instead, you oblige, dropping your jaw and sticking your tongue out. your eyes flick up to matty's in invitation, and neither of you break eye contact as he holds your head steady and slowly slides back into your mouth. you moan in tandem as he does, your eyes fluttering shut in composure to try and stop yourself gagging at the feeling of him curving down your throat.

matty stops when your nose meets his lower stomach, holding you there for a few seconds to let you get used to the feeling of him so deep inside you again. your breath is shaky through your nose, and he strokes your hair softly as he speaks. "doing so fucking well for me, sweetheart, you feel fucking perfect. you doing ok, my lovely girl? want me to keep going?"

it's a challenge, but you manage to mouth a "please" around him. drool falls from your lips as you do, hitting your tits and pooling on them. matty breathes out a "fuck, i'm definitely not going to last long" and slides back almost fully out of your mouth, before repeating the process slightly faster - he's not far off orgasm, you can tell, but he still manages to croak out a "this alright?" and a "good girl, perfect girl" when you hum an affirmative to the former.

god, it's so fucking messy - you're glad you pulled your dress down, because the velvet would've been ruined by the mixture of drool and tears dripping down your face. you fucking love it, though, making matty feel good like this. judging by the way his legs begin to shake, and the way he mutters garbled praises and moans of your name and good girls every time his cock meets your throat, he loves it too.

that, and the way he whines to tell you he's on the precipice of pleasure. "m'gonna fucking cum, sweetheart, m'so fucking close. fuck, you're so good, missed you, missed you taking my dick like this. fucking ruined everyone else for me, fucking dreamt about you every fucking night. shit, angel, m'there. gonna take all my cum, swallow it like a good girl, my good girl."

despite your continuous breathing, your head spins as matty talks. fuck. you need him to cum, need him to coat your throat right now.

with a near-painful hollowing of your cheeks and a final moan around his dick ("yours"), he does, crying out your name far too loudly given the clandestine circumstances you're in. you dig your nails into the back of matty's thighs as he falls into ecstasy, keeping him in your mouth until you're sure he's stopped cumming; once he has, you slowly slide him out of your mouth, careful not to let any of his release leave with him. 

before he can even ask, you open your mouth to let him see it all gathered on your tongue, before closing your mouth and swallowing the salty liquid with a satisfied hum. just to emphasise how good a girl you are, you lick your lips to make sure you get every last drop of him, smacking them together. "missed how nice you taste."

"are you trying to kill me, woman?" matty drags his hands down his face, before taking hold of yours and ushering you to stand - a welcome move, given how long you've been on your knees. as you wrap your arms around his neck, he cups your jaw and kisses you, almost chastely, in stark contrast to the things you both just did. "thank you, sweetheart. i'm sorry i got you so messy, although i think you still look beautiful. you're welcome to clean up at mine, if you like."

you peck his lips. "i would like that, yes. but only if you help me - there's a bit of a mess between my legs that i could use a hand in sorting out."

"mmm, gladly," matty hums, kissing down your neck and between your tits. he looks up at you with a smirk. "wanna see if i can still remember how to make you soak my fingers."

you roll your eyes, even though you feel another gush in your underwear at his words and the way he's taking one of your tits in his mouth. "oh please, you've never met an instrument you couldn't play perfectly with those hands."

you regret the words as soon as you say them. shit. yeah, sure, the whole point of friends with benefits is to treat the other person like some sort of object, but you're not meant to liken yourself to one.

those fucking feelings of yours ruining everything, as usual.

matty detaches his lips from you, straightening up to look you in the eye and bringing the top of your dress up with him. he holds your face tenderly again, pressing his forehead against yours. "you're far more than that to me, sweetheart, you always were," he says softly, and you can't ignore the earnestness in his tone. he tugs you into a warm hug, and brings his lips to your ear. "but i must admit - you make the most beautiful sounds i've ever heard."

you smile over his shoulder, pulling back to look at him and catch his lips in another kiss. there's something different about this one; it's still as passionate as ever, but there's an underlying… softness. "take me home," you murmur against his lips. "please, baby."

another kiss. "whatever my girl wants."

[stedefxckingbonnet]

Past Lives | Izzy Hands x Reader

Izzy Hands x Gn!Reader

Summary: Quite some time has passed since you joined the crew of The Revenge per being saved, and you've grown particularly close to the one who brought you aboard. One night in particular is breathtaking and you decide you cannot contain your feelings anymore, but you had never learned exactly how to express these sorts of feelings to another person, let alone Izzy Hands. So, you do so in the only way you know how.

Warnings: slight angst/tension, slight avoidant attachment style (w/resolution though), kissing, some strong language

Word count: 2264 (some longer ones coming your way in the near future, though!)

A/N: hi hi lovely people! This is honestly the first x reader I've written since I was probably 14-15, so please bear that in mind! My interpretation of Izzy I feel like, isn't always 100% representative of him in the show itself, but I feel like I tried to capture him at his core while exploring this more sensitive side of him that we are getting in season 2, perhaps more of a what he is on the pathway to being, and therefore already is, if that makes any sense. Just has to be unlocked in levels. Plus, Izzy deserves the world so I just wanted to write something sweet to dip my toe back into this sort of writing. Anyhow, I'd like to get back into the habit of writing these so please, do request! I hope you all enjoy this one, comments are much appreciated xx

The stars illuminated the sky in such a way that it almost looked like a painting—a bit too picturesque, like one of those artworks that only aristocrats could afford to have on the wall of their ornate mansions passed through the centuries, or even built and curated just for them. Nonetheless, it was breathtaking, and the fresh air coursed through your veins and senses so effortlessly and made you feel alive. Nights like these weren't meant to be spent hidden away in your quarters and you knew that. Once you were sure everyone had retired for the night, you quietly crept onto the main deck, ready for your moment of solace that you had been seeking for weeks now.

You approached one of the railings, scanning across the deck still to see if anyone had been lurking nearby. The coast was clear, and finally, you found somewhere to lean on as you stared out into the night sky, the wind blowing through even the hairs on your neck, making them stand. On occasion, you'd be sprayed by the sea but it was the most at peace you had felt in weeks.

"Rough night?" you heard someone quietly call from a short distance away. You almost jumped, but you quickly turned around only to see Izzy Hands. Relief washed over you, as did a nervous feeling that had only begun recently. You inhaled sharply as Izzy waltzed over, thanking the stars for not illuminating this spot too much, therefore being no way he saw you craving that much air in your lungs. He leaned beside you on the railing, awaiting your reply.

"Not at all," you admitted. "Quite the opposite. It's so beautiful out tonight."

Izzy only nodded. He joined you in looking out at the landscape presented before him. In all of his years of sailing, it was all he had ever known--the sky and the sea, yet, he had never thought it to be this ravishing before. He never noticed how lovely it could be. Being here with you, he saw it all in a new light. He discreetly glanced over at you once again. He had noticed the way your lips slightly parted when you saw something you liked, and the way your shoulders lowered when you were relaxed. He noticed that you'd twiddle your thumbs when you were truly happy—in fact, you happened to be doing it right now. Izzy allowed his lips to curl into a smile upon realizing this. Finally, he broke the silence.

"I've never seen anything like this," he admitted, almost out of breath whilst he was still looking over at you. You still hadn't noticed.

"Isn't it...divine?" you chuckled. "Beautiful seems too weak a word."

"I feel the opposite. I don't think I've ever described anything as beautiful before."

"Really? Not once?"

Izzy shook his head. "Saving it for something special, I guess."

Silence filled the space between the two of you once again, but for once in your life, it was a comfortable silence. You looked out at the sea, but this time, you could feel Izzy's eyes on you. You attempted to discreetly glance his way, and you couldn't help but smile when you locked eyes. You looked away as you practically felt your cheeks burning and your stomach turning, and you hoped to the sea gods that you weren't falling ill. But these forlorn feelings felt honestly incredible, for once. A wave of confusion crashed over you, and it was growing more and more difficult to ignore.

"You alright?" Izzy inquired with genuine concern. This entire time, his eyes have not left you.

"What? Me?"

Izzy chuckled. "Who else?"

"Fine. Just fine."

"Just fine?"

"Do you believe in past lives?" you suddenly heard yourself ask, and already you were cursing yourself for it.

"Past lives?" Izzy repeated pensively. You nodded, looking over at him intently. It took him a moment to think of a response, and even still, he seemed unsure. "This sure as hell feels like the first time I'm living. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have made a lot of the decisions and mistakes I've made, I suppose."

You felt your heart sink, and it almost felt like there was no way to retrieve it. "I see. Well, goodnight."

Without letting Izzy have another word, you scurried back to your quarters, tears streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You awoke the next morning with a sharp pain in your chest. You winced as you forced yourself out of bed, though as you dressed, the feeling began to dissipate. You almost teared up again upon reminiscing last night. What were you thinking, asking something like that of Israel Hands? Where did that even come from? Why did his answer hurt so terribly? A million thoughts swarmed around in your head like flies, and there wasn't much you could do to swat them away. You felt like holing yourself up in your room but you knew that with Stede as one of the captains, this wasn't much of an option. After hovering your hand above the doorknob for what seemed like ages, you finally twisted it, revealing yourself to the crew. Already, everyone seemed to be intertwined in their usual antics and fuckeries--it would have been fun and refreshing to see if not for the somber mood you were in. Lucius waved you over, and you seriously thought of walking right past him, but he was your dear friend, like a brother to you and you wouldn't have forgiven yourself if you dismissed him. You trudged over to him, and he immediately recognized your gloom.

"Well good morning, mopey," Lucius teased, nudging you in the shoulder.

"Not today, Luci," you mumbled. "Not today."

Lucius' smile dropped, though he raised a brow. "Talk to me. Who do I need to punch?"

"No one. I'm just having a bad day."

"You are such a bad liar."

"I just don't wanna talk about it," you grumbled. Lucius was at a loss for words, but thankfully you knew just what to say. "The sky was lovely last night. If only you'd been awake to sketch it. You're the only one who would have done it any justice."

"Maybe I'll have another chance tonight," Lucius said hopefully.

"Maybe you will," you breathed out as suddenly, none other than Izzy himself appeared onto the deck. You gulped and turned away from him immediately.

"Whoa, whoa. What's going on with you and Iz—“

"—I don't wanna talk about it," you almost seethed. Before you knew it, a finger tapped your shoulder. You swiveled around, fighting the tears in your eyes.

"Got a minute?"

"Not exactly."

"What better do you have to do?" Izzy demanded. Your jaw dropped, and you were waiting for your thoughts to catch up with your mouth but they never did. "That's what I thought. Come on, Y/N."

"Later, okay? Not right now. Tonight," you promised. "That's my best offer."

"I'll hold you to it."

You immediately realized the mistake you had made, and how difficult and miraculous it would be to get through this entire day before possibly knowing what Izzy wanted from you.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The shadow of the moon was present once again, and for once, you dreaded the wonders of nighttime. It felt perilous and peculiar now, like a friend you didn't quite recognize anymore. But, a promise was a promise, you'd be damned if you broke one, let alone this one. As frustrated and almost devastated as you were, you'd never allow yourself to break a promise to Izzy. You pulled your favorite capelet over your shoulders and started toward the deck to find Izzy already waiting in your usual spot. You hadn't realized it until now, but this really was your and Izzy's spot. It's where you wiped away his tears when he cried in front of you the first time, it's where he sat with you countless times when you couldn't sleep, it's where the two of you conversed until dawn frequently. Always this spot. It took everything in you to fight off a pang of joy upon experiencing such an epiphany. Izzy didn't notice that you had appeared beside him until you looked over at him finally.

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit...I don't know. Not yourself this morning, and last night."

"I'm fine," you shrugged, knowing Izzy would see right through you like you were a phantom.

"I don't buy that for a second," Izzy rolled his eyes. And with that, silence surrounded you both once again. It frustrated Izzy to no end that he couldn't figure out what was plaguing you. He always felt as if he was able to put a finger on whatever it was that bothered you, he prided himself on knowing you that well. The last thing he wanted was for you to become a stranger after all the two of you had endured together. The thought of losing you filled him with a sorrow he had never felt before.

"I'm sorry about what I asked you last night. About past lives and stuff," you suddenly said. Yet another moment where your mind and mouth weren't synced. You regretted saying this as soon as you began to speak, but you knew that once you did, there would be no stopping, no taking anything back.

"What was that all about, anyway?" Izzy implored. You almost scoffed at his tone but when you met eyes with him, you instantly realized that he genuinely wished to know. His eyes sort of twinkled when he was curious, and this was the first time you noticed such an endearing phenomenon.

"I just," you exhaled, pausing before you spoke again, this time choosing your words carefully. "Why'd you save me that day at Jackie's?"

Izzy was taken aback at such a question. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Not at all, actually," you laughed in annoyance, which was only a coping mechanism for the extreme anxiety you were undergoing in this moment.

"I honestly can't give you an answer you'd want," Izzy admitted. "I just felt...called to. I could tell it would be nice having you around here. I wanted to give you a place you could call home."

"So, wait, you care about me?" you inquired seriously, which only earned a chuckle of disbelief from him.

"Of course I do, dammit!"

"I don't know, Iz, I just...from the moment we met I felt this connection to you and I can't explain it. No matter how hard I could try, I won't be able to. I felt like I was meant to be around you."

"You think I didn't feel that way, too?"

"You did?" you asked, a glint of hope looming in your voice.

"Of course I did. And, I do. I can't explain it either. But I felt as if we were meant to be around each other, in each other's lives. I don't know," he rambled nervously. This was the first time you had seen Izzy like this. It was a side of him you weren't even sure he possessed until now.

"I guess I sort of caked that to the past life shit," you sighed. "And when you said you didn't believe in past lives, I freaked out and took that as you not caring about me and everything we've built just felt like a huge lie."

"Everything we've built," Izzy repeated.

"I'm so sorry," you laughed embarrassedly. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

"No," Izzy cut you off, putting his gloved finger to your lips. You could feel Izzy's breath on your face. "If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't have asked you to come with me. I had only known you for a few moments and I already knew you would be...important to me."

You were absolutely baffled. You opened your mouth to speak, and not a sound escaped it. Izzy took a step closer to you, slowly moving his hand to cup the right side of your face.

"And it helps that you are just...beautiful," he whispered as your foreheads touched. You could've sworn your heart was going a million miles a minute and that you would need some sort of village medic after this. As if it were instinct, your hand made its way into his carefully swept hair, and it felt like silk between your fingers. All of your worries suddenly melted away as you melted into one another, your lips brushing up against one another's. You nodded pleadingly, yes, you wanted this, followed by a nod from Izzy and finally, like puzzle pieces, your lips connected. It felt effortless and so, so right to share such closeness. Two becoming one, two souls merging to create a love bigger than either of you. A love that had been carefully crafted ever since the first day of meeting. A love that the both of you knew would inevitably take hold, because it always did in all the stories you devoured and then later went on to show to Izzy. A love that you had craved since you heard of the concept of it. A love that Izzy never thought he would attain in his lifetime.

You gasped happily for air, yet your foreheads still touched. Izzy gazed at you as if you were the only other person in the world and the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon.

"Perhaps I haven't had any past lives," Izzy breathed. "but I will have love for you in all my next."

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chapter 15

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 4.3k

Warnings: character death, mentions of animal abuse, y/n and hermione are so protective of each other it's sick

Note: Hello! wow this one took forever, I feel bad that I'm always apologizing for delayed updates but oh well here we are :/ this one is more to move the plot forward and I wanted to follow canon in a way that would make sense for this story

anyway, as always thank you so much for the continued support and an even bigger thanks for your patience! crossing my fingers that updates will be more frequent from here on out. that's it, i hope you enjoy this one!

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1

Hermione stands over you as you hold out the thick strand of hair, pinched in between your fingers.

Harry and Ron stare at it with bated breaths, the air in between the four of you is still; anticipating.

You didn't have to consider for too long to know it belonged to your mother. You had nearly mistaken it for your own, if it weren't for the grayish undertones, only fully visible when illuminated.

It seems every time you saw your mother, her hair would be a shade lighter. As time did its duty, as the years passed, the older each of you got, the less you resembled the other.

You don't see your mother when you look in the mirror, not anymore.

"Are you sure that's hers?" Ron asks as you rise from your crouching position.

The painful lump in your throat prevents you from answering him.

You swallow thickly.

"I'm sure." You finally say.

Silence once again, as Ron reaches out to carefully pick out the strand, retrieving it from your grip, he drops it into the flask he held in his other hand with even more precision.

The only noise that fills the air is a faint sizzle, as the polyjuice potion consumes its final ingredient.

You feel Hermione move to your side, her fingers curl around your bicep, her other hand firmly intertwines with yours.

"Are you certain we'll be allowed into Bellatrix's vault?" Harry asks, he looks at you expectantly and you grace him with an assured nod.

"I've seen my mother retrieve things for her dozens of times, it'll work." You claim, but Harry's immediate skepticism doesn't evade you, and honestly, you can't hold it against him.

Your plan is far from foolproof. Like many times before the four of you are simply hoping to get by on pure chance and luck.

"How do we know what it is, when we get in her vault? I mean, a Horcrux could be anything." Ron asks, a question you were all wondering.

"I'll know." Harry quips plainly.

You glance at Hermione to shoot her a look before returning your attention back to Harry.

"It's hard to explain but– I'll just know." He adds, and none of you wish to push on the subject further.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You watched as Hermione lifted the flask filled with polyjuice to her lips, but then she pauses. Her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath, as if preparing herself.

"Wait–" You interject, rising from the bed, in three large strides you are standing before your girlfriend.

"Let me drink it." You then place a hand over Hermione's, but she pries it off lightly.

"No, I'll do it." She counters, and you don't attempt to mask your disapproval.

"You can't drink it." Hermione reiterates.

"When we get to Gringotts, it'll appear more believable with you by my side, you know it." She adds, and you hate that Hermione is right.

You sigh.

"Darling, it's too dangerous." You breath out, your hand travels up her forearm, eventually tenderly cupping her face.

Hermione instinctively shuts her eyes at the sensation, she leans into your touch, her muscles no longer tense, her body visibly reacts to your warmth.

"We're all in danger." She finally claims, once your eyes meet again.

"This is the only way. There's another Horcrux hidden in her vault, we just have to find it." Hermione states assuredly but it does nothing to convince you of the plan.

You remain staring at your girlfriend, Hermione always had a way of making your heart feel like it could just implode within your chest.

You are overcome with love, care, and longing, all of these feelings encapsulated in the sheer dread of what's to come, of what might happen.

Hermione finds no trouble in returning your gaze.

This wordless exchange lasts for several seconds until Hermione decides to take advantage of your unmoving state. She leans in, passionately capturing your lips with her own.

Your hands quickly shift to rest on her waist, you then feel Hermione's hand move to the back of your head, pulling you closer.

You are taken aback as she opens her mouth wider, deepening the kiss, soon enough her tongue makes contact with your own.

You have no air left in your lungs, but the last thing you wish to do is pull away.

Hermione lets out a light hum as she presses her body up against yours; her eagerness causes your entire body to tremble, you worry your legs might give out at any moment.

The kiss ends as abruptly as it began.

A sharp gasp leaves Hermione's lips as she takes a step back, as if it proved a real struggle for her to cease the kiss.

Soon a sense of euphoria overcomes your entire being, even if it is fleeting, you feel at peace and it translates into a boyish grin across your face.

Hermione notices, and she has to bite her bottom lip to hide a smile herself.

She places a lingering hand over your chest before shoving you away playfully.

"Go on, wait outside. I'll meet you there." Hermione orders, and you know better than to protest.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You continued to pace back and forth, the usually maddening feeling of sand repeatedly filling your shoes does nothing to distract you.

Trepidation rapidly materializes within you the longer you waited for your girlfriend.

By taking the Polyjuice and assuming your mother's identity, Hermione is putting herself in immense danger, and you are expected to stand by and simply witness it, again.

"It'll be fine." You hear Harry's voice, but you don't acknowledge him.

You can't feel anything beyond the incessant pounding in your head; you possessed barely any strength at all, you mustered just enough to stomach this.

Soon enough, Hermione emerges from the hut and the sight you are met with is unsettling.

The woman standing before you appears to resemble your mother. Wearing the clothes your mother would wear, there was no trace of Hermione, beyond her voice.

Harry and Ron fail to speak alongside your silence. Hermione looks between the three of you impatiently.

"So, how do I look?" She asks, and you can't help but grimace.

"Disturbing." You quip.

Then you had no choice but to look away.

"Come on, let's just get this over with." You release an exasperated breath and Harry emerges next to you with Griphook.

"Griphook you give that to Hermione to hold onto, alright?" The man states, but it mainly sounded like a warning.

The Goblin lets out a subtle gripe as he hesitates, before eventually sheathing the steel into your girlfriend's bag.

"You get us into Bellatrix's vault, and the sword is yours." Harry reassures.

Ron finally takes out his wand so he may alter his own appearance, with a single wave, his hair is inches longer. The beard that appears on his face ages him, and makes him nearly unrecognizable.

"Now remember the plan, I'll be under the cloak with Griphook. Y/n and Hermione you'll try to convince the Goblin to let you through. Ron, you stand back in case anything happens." Harry runs through the plan once more and this time you don't suppress a scoff.

Hermione grabs your arm, wordlessly asking for you to stand down.

"This is a terrible plan." You say it anyway, and Harry doesn't retaliate, instead he nods in agreement.

"I know. But it's still the best one we've got."

════════════════════════════════════════════

You had to remind yourself to breathe as you walked through the doors of Gringotts.

Although certain the anxiety you are feeling at this moment is incomparable to the terror Hermione must be experiencing.

You had to battle every instinct urging you to reach out and hold your girlfriend's hand.

Ron trails closely behind the two of you, Harry and Griphook somewhere close by, hidden by the cloak of invisibility.

You brace yourselves once you get to the podium, a moment passes, but the Goblin on duty fails to acknowledge your presence entirely.

Hermione takes it upon herself to clear her throat.

Still, nothing.

She glances at you for help, and you nod, urging her to speak.

"I wish to enter." Your girlfriend states curtly, her best attempt to appear menacing.

In any other instance you would find it a little humorous, but right now, Hermione's poor imitation only makes you wince.

The Goblin fails to acknowledge either of you still, your patience rapidly thinning out.

"My mother has been sent to clear out Madam Lestrange's vault. I am certain you understand why you mustn't delay us." You say and the creature finally looks up.

His entire demeanor shifts, but it only helped to annoy you further.

"Madam, forgive me I did not realize it was you." Bogrod says, feigned cordiality.

"Of course you may enter.. but first, do you mind presenting your wand?" He adds and there is a pause.

You can sense Hermione's panic, but she tries her best to maintain a composed front.

She folds her arms over her chest.

"I hardly think that's necessary." Hermione states.

"I'm afraid I must insist." The Goblin's grin falters, and you realized you had to quickly step in

"Why?" You say, instinctively stepping forward, partially shielding Hermione with your body.

"New policy, I'm afraid." Bogrod explains, but before you can argue your case, the creature's expression shifts.

Your eyes catch the waft of green smoke seeping into the Goblin's nostrils.

You manage a quick glimpse of what looked like the tip of a wand being retracted, it disappears seemingly into thin air.

Y/n quickly realizes that Harry has sensibly, stepped in before things got ugly.

In an instant, the Goblin changes his tune.

"Very well, Madam, if you will follow me." He says with a dopey smile.

You hear Hermione let out a sigh of relief, you can't help but do the same.

════════════════════════════════════════════

The ride through the dungeons was nothing close to pleasant. The cart transporting you zoomed at an unfathomable speed, the abrupt turns and twists would have made you nauseous, if you weren't feeling sick already.

Hermione continues clutching your hand in hers, tighter than usual, your grip is similar in turn.

Finally, the cart halts, and before you know it, the six of you are free falling dozens of feet.

You reach for your wand in your pocket but Hermione beats you to it.

"Arresto Momentum!" She exclaims, and your bodies hang mid air, inches from the ground. Soon the spell wears off, the six of you fall onto the cold, wet, stone, front first.

"Thank you, Hermione." Harry says, as he helps himself off the ground.

You quickly do the same, rushing over to help your girlfriend up.

Hermione gladly takes your hand, when your eyes meet, you notice her appearance, she is back to her usual self.

The Polyjuice potion had entirely worn off but Bogrod, still under the Imperius curse, is unable to do anything about it.

"Come on, this way." Griphook shouts, he leads the four of you to the vaults.

He navigates the dark cavern with ease, as you try to get your eyes to adjust, a piercing screech fills the air, and it causes both you and Hermione to glance at each other.

You warily follow Griphooks lead, but the sight you're met with when the six of you turn the corner makes your breath catch in your throat.

"That's a Ukrainian Ironbelly–" Ron points out, awe and disbelief you shared.

Then Griphook picks up an object you quickly deduced to be a certain type of bell. As he shakes it, the dragon's screeching intensifies, it flails around as if trying to escape the noise.

It was only then you noticed the thick metal chains around its neck and legs.

"It's been trained to expect pain when it hears this sound." The creature claims and Hermione releases you so she may step forward, following his lead.

She speaks once she is in earshot of the Goblin.

"That's barbaric." Your girlfriend says, a certain tenor to her voice, you knew her well enough to recognize that she was truly indignant.

The dragon's screeching continues as the four of you slip past it.

It only retreats to cowers silently in the corner once the noises from the bell stops.

The vault is now in sight, as the group approaches you can't help but notice that Bogrod has disappeared.

You glance out at where you spotted the Goblin last and sure enough. He was standing in front of the dragon, simply staring at it; the curse has evidently impaired his judgment and all sense of danger.

"Wait– what do we do with him?" You gesture to Bogrod.

Although before anyone can respond, the Ukrainian Ironbelly takes a large step forward, then from its mouth, comes flames, big and blistering enough to turn the entire space scorching hot in an instant.

The once Goblin was now burnt to nothing but ash.

Hermione, Y/n and the boys only manage to stare in utter shock.

"That's unfortunate." Ron finally quips.

"Come on, we don't have much time." Griphook warns, he advances forward and the four of you follow.

As you arrive at the vault, it appears familiar to you, but only distantly.

It was not the vault Snape led you to a few months ago but it appears almost identical.

"Is this where you got the sword?" Hermione asks in a hushed tone, and you quickly shake your head.

"No, the key Snape gave me led to a different vault." You explain, but your girlfriend doesn't say anything, expecting your response.

As the five of you enter Bellatrix's vault, it is worse than you expected.

It is filled with random trinkets, some valuable, some not.

The three of you sport a defeated expression, but Harry was not going to give up so easily.

He steps forward.

"It's in here, I can sense it." He states.

You observe silently as The Chosen One approaches a particular cup, amidst an array of objects that look nearly identical to it.

Soon enough he reaches for it.

Harry holds out the cup, nothing is said, but there is an energy that reverberates through the air.

It's unmistakable. He has a Horcrux in hand.

"Pass me the sword." He extends his arm and Hermione scrambles through her bag, eventually retrieving the steel.

She passes it to Harry, he grips the pommel, but doesn't get the chance to do much else as a noise captures your attention.

Ron knocks over a goblet by accident, instead of breaking as it touches the ground, it only multiplies.

As the duplicate makes contact with another object it does the same thing. Soon objects are spawning at a rapid rate, filling up the already limited vacant space by your feet.

"What's happening?" Hermione exclaims over the loud noise, you instinctively step to her side as she nearly loses her balance.

"It's an enchantment, everything you touch will multiply." The Goblin explains, you aren't given much chance to come up with an escape plan as the objects quickly engulf all five of you.

For what felt like eternity, you fought to keep your head above.

You spot Hermione and Ron doing the same, but you can't see Harry anymore.

Amidst the chaos, somehow, Griphook gets a hold of the Horcrux.

Then, Harry finally emerges from the sea of gold and silver. He frantically looks around, in search of the object, but his attention shifts to the Goblin as he proudly holds up the Horcrux.

"We had a deal, Griphook!" Harry bellows, and the creature only grins, malicious, irritating.

"The cup for the sword!" He strikes up the bargain, and you curse under your breath.

It is getting increasingly difficult to stay afloat, and you watched as Hermione and Ron struggled the same.

Harry begrudgingly hands over the sword, the Goblin then returns the Horcrux back to him.

"I said I'd get you in, I never said anything about getting you out." Griphook quips, he holds his hand up against the door, unlocking it.

Soon the objects begin spilling out of the vault after him but the four of you continue to struggle to make your way to the exit.

If only you could retrieve your wand, you could stop the Goblin from going any further.

"Hermione, can you reach your wand?" You shout, and the struggle in your girlfriend's face is evident.

"I'm trying!" She replies.

After moments of struggle, the four of you miraculously manage to make your way out, but it was too late.

The Goblin is nowhere to be seen.

"Griphook!" Harry calls out in anger, he doesn't expect a reply, and he doesn't receive one.

His voice echoes through the dungeons, and it only works to disturb the dragon ahead.

It lets out another deafening screech.

You approach slowly, in search of the object that you know will subdue the beast, but you can't find it anywhere and you know for certain Griphook is the reason for it.

"The bell- it's gone." You don't try to conceal your distress.

"That foul creature– how are we supposed to get out of here?" Ron curses and you begin looking around for some type of solution, an idea to come to you.

You take an experimental step forward; careful, quiet.

You consider that perhaps, if you moved slowly, the dragon won't react.

However, your theory was quickly proven incorrect as the beast storms towards you within the confines of its chains, soon opening its mouth.

You were only inches away from getting charred alive before Hermione harshly grabbed your arm, yanking you to her side.

The pins you up against the pillar, out of the dragon's sight.

Ron and Harry stood a few paces away, their backs also against the wall.

"What on earth was your plan there?" Hermione hisses, and you are staggered for a moment.

You've never seen her so furious with you.

"I just thought if I moved quietly–" You start, but then another loud noise pierces the atmosphere.

Clearly, your stunt only exacerbated the dragon's already agitated state.

The sounds that follow suggest that the formidable beast was now fighting to be released from its restraints.

"Don't you ever try something like that again–" Hermione warns, her hand still gripping your collar.

You nod apologetically, suddenly you almost feel like a child being reprimanded.

Your girlfriend finally loosens her grip on your shirt.

The beast's actions begin to get larger and louder, in its outrage it clamours at the stone walls, chipping large pieces off.

"What a joke– did we go through all of that just to die in here?" Ron quips.

"We can't apparate.." Your girlfriend mumbles to herself, mentally debating an escape plan.

"Hermione?" Harry asks, it sounds closer to a desperate plea.

You were all stumped, only hoping that the mostly brilliant mind out of the four of you will manage to think of a plan to escape.

Hermione finally looks up at you, and by the look on her face you can tell whatever it might be; she's figured something out.

"I've got an idea, but it's mad." She admits, with a raised voice and truth be told you hated the sound of that.

Harry and Ron stare at her expectantly and you only grow more nervous by the second.

Hermione turns to y/n, you don't speak a word to her but it is not required as she already senses your anxiety, she places a firm hand on your chest right above your heart, you were certain she can feel it pounding against her palm.

"Just trust me." She reassures, too swiftly for your liking, as she completes her sentence she retreats.

You can only anticipate her next move, and it is not one you'd ever expect, in fact it nearly sends you into an early grave.

You watched as Hermione leaped off the balcony, landing on the dragon's back.

"Hermione!" You exclaim.

She struggles to get a grip of the beast for a moment, you are stunned when the dragon stills, it doesn't try to force Hermione off it's back.

"Come on!" Your girlfriend shouts, and you were first to mirror her earlier action. With a single large leap you manage to grab onto the dragon's horns, you pull yourself up, situating yourself behind Hermione.

The dragon reacts the same, but it is too fixated on the chains wrapped around its neck to care.

Soon enough Harry and Ron manage to climb on as well.

There is a point of eery stillness as the dragon seemingly appears too tired to continue fighting.

"Now what?" Harry poses a good question, and you take it upon yourself to fish out your wand.

"Relashio!" In one swift move, you fling the spell, aiming for the dragon's tail.

The beast reacts violently, in the process, the spell breaks the chains tethering it to the ground, finally freeing the beast from its restraints.

"Defodio!" Your girlfriend exclaims as she holds out her own wand, and soon enough, the dragon takes flight, bursting through the ceiling.

In an instant, Gringotts Bank is reduced to fragments of wood, glass and stone as the dragon flees the building, taking the four of you with it.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You have been on dragonback for what felt like hours, however an uncanny feeling of serenity, fills you as the beast flew through the air, past villages and hillsides.

As you approach the vast water, the dragon begins to fly lower; it appears the beast aims to halt its tiresome journey through the city soon.

"We're dropping!" Harry exclaims, panic begins to set in amongst the four of you once again.

"I say we jump!" Ron suggests, but you aren't particularly fond of the idea.

"What?" You bark.

"When?" Hermione chimes in.

"Now!" Harry responds as he lets go, you watched as he falls into the freezing water below.

He is quickly followed by Ron and Hermione, and you let out a groan as you release your grip on the dragon.

"Damn you, Weasley!" You exclaim as you freefall into the lake.

As your body touches the water, it immediately feels like hundreds of blistering hot knives are incessantly puncturing your skin.

It is almost unbearable, but then your head rises to the surface and pure instinct kicks in. The four of you, with some difficulty, eventually manage to swim to shore.

-

Hermione grabs your hand to help you up, in your weakened state you barely manage to climb the cliff.

Harry storms ahead, seemingly unaffected, no doubt driven by pure adrenaline.

"He knows." He blurts out.

"You know who." Harry explains, and Hermione lets go of your hand to catch up to the dark haired man.

"He knows we broke into Gringotts, he knows what we took, and he knows we're hunting Horcruxes." He admits.

"How is it you know?" You ask, jogging slightly to catch up, Ron following closely behind.

"You let him in?" Hermione asks, her tone dissaproving.

"Harry you can't do that–" She says but her bestfriend interrupts.

"Hermione, I can't always help it! Or maybe I can, I don't know." He retaliates.

"Never mind that, what happened?" You interject.

The four of you halt as you get to the top of the cliff.

"Well, he's angry– and scared too." Harry starts, he holds out his hands as Hermione retrieves her bottle of Essence Of Dittany from her bag.

She places a few drops on his palms, doing the same on yours, and then Ron's.

You rub your hands together as Harry continues speaking.

"He knows if we can find and destroy all the Horcruxes, we'll be able to kill him. I reckon he'll do anything to stop that happening." Harry finishes and you scowl at the thought.

Soon, the boys begin stripping so they may change into dry clothes.

Hermione instead retrieves a large blanket from her bag, she drapes it over you, before pulling you close to her body so she may share your warmth.

"There's more– one of them's at Hogwarts." Harry explains.

"What?" Ron says in disbelief and his friend only nods.

"You saw it?" Your girlfriend asks, skeptical.

Harry nods again.

"I saw the castle, and Rowena Ravenclaw. It must have something to do with her, we have to go there now." The Chosen One states, assuredly.

"What? We can't do that, we've got to plan, we've got to figure it out." Hermione counters.

"Hermione when have any of our plans ever actually worked?" Harry recounts, his gaze shifting between y/n, Hermione and Ron.

"We plan, we go there, all hell breaks lose." The dark haired man states, and neither of you have an argument, he was stating the plain truth.

"He's right– just one problem." Ron starts.

"Snape's headmaster now, we can't just walk through the front door."

Then there's a pause.

You can feel Hermione shivering against you, you swiftly wrap an arm around her, an attempt to keep her as close as possible.

"Well, then we'll go to Hogsmeade. To Honeydukes– take the secret passage." Harry offers a solution, and you nod in agreement.

"I think– there's something wrong with him–" He adds, and the three of you wait for Harry to explain.

"In the past, I've always been able to follow his thoughts– now everything just sort of feels disconnected." The dark haired man says, he adjusts the glasses on his face.

"Maybe it's the Horcruxes? Maybe he's growing weaker, maybe he's dying?" Ron suggests but Harry was quick to shake his head.

"No, it's more like he's wounded. If anything he feels more dangerous." Harry states plainly, and now you are shivering for an entirely different reason.

Hermione glances at you, as you exhange a look, you can't help but acknowledge that all too familiar sense of impotence as it looms over all of you.

The uncertainty and impending doom; it feels as though the more Horcruxes you uncover, the more uncertain the end seems.

[devilat-thedoor]

What Is and What Should Never Be Ch. 1

A/N: The parts in this fic are going to be on the shorter side compared to my other one, but that allows me to get them out quicker. This first chapter is really just laying the foundation for the story. I hope you enjoy, babes! and as always, feedback is appreciated🤍 P.S. This is all fictional, straight from my imagination. Please don't take it too seriously💖

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Smut(none yet, but for future reference), Mentions of alcoholism/addiction, Mentions of death. Reader Discretion Advised.

So if you wake up with the sunrise and all your dreams are still as new // And happiness is what you need so bad, well girl, the answer lies with you

“Bell, are we really doing this?” Your grin was beaming as you twisted the key in the ignition, hearing the engine rumble. You rolled the windows down, letting the late March wind breeze through the car.

Your best friend, Bellamy, turned to you from her spot in the passenger seat, “I mean, unless you want to carry all of our stuff back into that shithole…” She jutted her thumb out the window, towards the shabby apartment building that, up until 15 minutes ago, you had called home. “Then we are absolutely doing this!” You laughed, pulling away from the curb as she hung half of her body out the car to shout a goodbye to your hometown. “We’re fucking out of here! See you later, Phil!” Bellamy had her middle fingers in the air as the wind swept through her jet black hair.

Reaching over, you grabbed her shirt to yank her back in the window, “Bellamy, the groundhog can’t hear you!” Your hand went back to the steering wheel as she settled back into her seat and kicked her feet up on the dashboard. “Don’t get too comfortable, you’re not gonna fall asleep on me 20 minutes into the drive.”

She rolled her eyes and gave you a lazy smile, “Fall asleep on you, sweet pea? Never.” She grabbed the aux cord, plugging it into her phone. “Why did we decide to drive again? We could’ve left everything to the moving company and just booked a flight… This is gonna take for-ev-er.” She flicked her sunglasses down over her eyes with a whine.

“Bell, how often are we gonna get to road trip across the country? Think of all the places we’ll get to see!” You tried to sound as positive as you could but, truth be told, you weren’t very excited about the drive either. The speakers came to life when she finally decided on a playlist, opening with House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. “Once we’re on I-80, the drive will go so fast, babe.”

She dropped her feet back to the floor, turning to face you again, “Whatever you say, Y/N.” Digging into the grocery bag full of snacks below her, she grabbed a pack of gummy bears and ripped them open, “God, I just can’t wait to be out of here and in the sun… And our new apartment?” Bellamy curled her legs up into her seat, turning to face you, “Are you okay with me taking the Master bedroom? I really want the en suite bathroom.”

You glanced over to see her pouting her lip at you, “You can have whatever room you want.” Looking back to the road, you turned the music down a bit, “If you told me I had to sleep in a tent on the balcony, I would do it.” It sounded like a joke, but you were partially serious.

“You know you’d be sharing my bed if there was no other place for you, Y/N.” She gave you a pointed look and slouched back into her seat. “We would just need a kind of ‘sock on the door’ signal, yanno?”

Craning your neck to look behind you, you slowly merged onto the interstate, “When has a signal ever worked before, Bellamy?” It was early enough in the morning that traffic was mostly clear, allowing you to set the cruise control to an even 70mph. “Remember Seth? The guy I met at sophomore year IUPatty’s? I left the shamrock beads on the doorknob and that didn’t stop you from barging into the dorm!”

She held her hands up, “In my defense, there were beads scattered through the hallway. How was I supposed to know you put them there intentionally?” Her shoulders raised in a shrug as she remembered back, “And I saved you! Your fake moans weren’t even believable, you weren’t getting off!”

You broke out into a cackle, “Oh my god, Bell! Fuck, you’re actually right.” She stuck her tongue out at you, “He was so hot, but had no rhythm at all… it was just anticlimactic. No pun intended.” You were both in a fit of laughter when your friend popped up in her seat.

“Babe, turn it up!” Bellamy yelled over the wind whipping through the windows as Rocky Mountain Way by Joe Walsh began playing. “It’s our song!”

You reached for the volume dial with a grin, cranking it up as you both started singing along. “…Out to pasture, think it’s safe to say, time to open fiiiire…” You held your closed fist to your mouth, using it as a makeshift microphone, “And we don’t need the ladies crying cause the story’s sad…” 

Holding your invisible microphone out to your friend, she sang the next few lines into it “‘Cause the rocky mountain way is better than the way we had…” The two of you went back and forth, singing loudly through your giggling. You listened as Bellamy vocalized the entire solo at the end of the song, finishing with a deep inhale to catch her breath.

The next song came on as you both settled down and you just drove in a comfortable silence for a while. You stopped for food and gas while passing through Toledo and continued on, only stopping again once you were right outside of Chicago. “I’m sick of driving, Bellamy. It’s your turn.” You whined at her as you pulled the car into a gas station.

“I’ve got maybe five or six hours in me.” She pushed her door open, grabbing her wallet from her bag to head into the gas station, “I do not want to be in the car anymore, so let’s plan on stopping in Des Moines… If traffic stays clear, we should make it by at least eleven. Midnight at the latest.” You followed her into the convenience store, listening to her lay out the plans. “When we get back in the car, look for a motel or something cheap we can stay in for tonight and then we’ll get back on the road early tomorrow.”

You both headed to the restroom to relieve yourselves before grabbing a few energy drinks and bottles of water and paying for your gas. “Sounds good, babe.” After filling the tank, you climbed into the passenger seat while your friend got behind the wheel and began browsing for a place to rest.

“Hey, Bell…” You’d been back on the road for another two hours, going back between music and podcasts, when you turned to her.

She glanced at you with a soft smile, “Yes, sweet pea?”

You were toying with your fingers in your lap, “I haven’t actually said it yet, but thank you.” She gave you a questioning look, prompting you to elaborate, “For bringing me along with you… to San Francisco. I will never be able to make this up to you.” You wanted to make sure she knew how genuinely grateful you were. All you’ve dreamed of, since you were 15, was getting out of your hometown and escaping the living hell that was your life. You thought that the day you turned 18, you’d pack up and leave to head for the west coast, get as far away as you could to avoid the chance of ending up like your mother. But after graduation and without money, your only option to get out of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania was going to college. Bellamy made you apply to IUP with her and when you both got in, it seemed like things wouldn’t be so bad anymore. Even though the university was only about 40 minutes from your hometown, it was far enough away that you didn’t have to deal with the stress of living with your parents anymore. Your dad was always amazing. He taught you everything you knew, from how to cook to how to change your own brakes and oil. All he ever wanted was to make sure you were capable of taking care of yourself when the time came for you to be on your own and that time came a lot sooner than either of you could have anticipated.

It was your junior year in college and you were so close to getting your Bachelor’s in Anthropology. Your classes kept you busy enough that you didn’t have time for partying or getting into trouble. All of your focus went into your school work in the hopes that once you finished, you would find a great job in doing something you loved and make enough money to go wherever you wanted. But the perfect bubble you’d put yourself in popped that November when you went home for Thanksgiving break.

Your mother’s alcohol addiction wasn’t anything new to you. You would come home from middle school to find her passed out on the sofa, empty bottle littering the coffee table. Some nights she would come into your room to crawl in bed with you, crying that she wanted to be better and that she was going to try to stop drinking. You would let her hold you and cry until your dad would come in and gently walk her back to their bedroom. The smell of her vodka soaked breath is something that would surely stick with you for the rest of your life. Dad would try his hardest to hide how bad her problem really was, but you knew. It started to get worse when you got into high school. She would get drunk and belligerent, screaming and breaking things. You’d gotten accustomed to staying at Bellamy’s. Her father and yours were best friends and that’s how you and Bell ended up as close as you were. On the nights your mother was particularly bad, Bell’s dad, Mr. Cole, would get a call from your dad and within minutes, you would be climbing into the backseat of his car with your best friend to stay with her family for a couple of nights. You begged your dad to leave her, to just let her drink herself rotten and move you and him some place far away where she couldn’t affect you anymore, but he refused. Always telling you that she needed the both of you to get her through it, that she didn’t have the strength to stop drinking on her own. Part of you knew that he didn’t even believe that himself, but you looked up to him more than anybody and trusted that he knew what was best. Still, you couldn’t stand to live in the same house as her, so when you got accepted to the same college as Bellamy, it was like life was finally giving you a break.

Then that Thanksgiving day came crashing down and everything else went with it. You and Bellamy made the short drive home the day before and you dropped her off at her house before heading to yours. Your dad was at the door, waiting to greet you as you pulled in and he rushed out to wrap you in a bear hug and help you with your belongings. You were dreading the kind of state you would find your mom in, but to your surprise, she seemed sober and completely normal. She pulled you into an embrace and you could still smell the faint hint of liquor on her, but her behavior had you fooled into thinking it was just your imagination. You were having a good time, helping her prep the apple pie so it would be ready to bake for the holiday while listening to music. She asked you how your classes were going and she seemed genuinely interested as you explained your course load to her. It was a welcome change to how conversations normally went with her.

 As the day dwindled to early evening, you started to see a change in her. She was getting sloppy and she stumbled through the house and you noticed her eyes starting to droop, but it wasn’t until she started throwing a fit about not having enough wine for the guests that you’d be having over for Thanksgiving that you realized she must have been sneaking drinks throughout the night. You watched as your dad tried to reason with her and calm her down, but she just kept yelling, throwing things around the kitchen until he finally gave in and offered to drive her to the store so they could pick up a few more bottles. You pleaded with him to stay, trying to convince him that he was only enabling her addiction by catering to her temper tantrums, but he brushed you off, wrapping you in hi arms and placing a firm kiss to the top of your head before grabbing his jacket and ushering your mother out the door. You didn’t know it then, but that would be the last time you would ever hug your father. After they started the drive into town, in a drunken fit of anger, your mom would lash out and begin hitting your dad, causing him to run off of the road and into the woods. He was pronounced DOA by the first responders and she would walk away from it without a scratch. Nobody knew that it was her fault, but after his funeral, when she was already half a bottle deep, she confessed it to you. You left her alone that night and never looked back and she ended up moving south to live with family. You couldn’t forgive her and if you never saw her another day in your life, it would still be too soon.

The depression you fell into forced you to drop out of college. You moved back to your hometown and got a job at the local diner, Punxsy Phil’s, to pay rent. Bellamy moved back with you and spent her last year and half commuting to school before graduating with her Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Now, two years later at 26, Bell was offered a job at a tech company. They were based out of Silicon Valley but they wanted her to head a team in their San Francisco office. When they offered to pay for her housing for a year until she got her footing, she sweet talked them into a two bedroom apartment and asked you to go with her. Of course you jumped at the opportunity and now here you were, driving across the country to start your new life and it was all thanks to your best and oldest friend.

“Y/N, I wouldn’t have even thought about taking this job if there wasn’t a chance that you could come with me.” She reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly, “I know how hard the past few years have been, but we’re starting a new chapter and it’s us, babe. It’s always been you and me.” A grin formed on her face as she put her hand back on the steering wheel, “We’re gonna fucking rule San Fransisco like Christina and Courtney in The Sweetest Thing.” She paused before adding, “But promise me you won’t fall in love with a guy you just met overnight!”

You leaned over the center console, hugging her tightly and planting a giant peck on her cheek, “I fucking love you, Bell.” You were both laughing as she pushed you away.

“I love you more, sweet pea.”

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It was early Sunday morning when you finally pulled into the parking lot or your new apartment building in the Mission Bay neighborhood. It stood maybe six stories high and each apartment had its own balcony. You and Bellamy were on the third floor, number 308, and she held the keys in her fist as you both stepped out of the car. The excitement couldn’t be contained as you made it up the elevator and she unlocked the door, pushing through it to see your new home in person for the first time. Stepping into the apartment, you both rushed around, exploring the living space. It was quaint and small, but it was perfect for the two of you. You each had your own bathroom and the bedrooms were a decent size. The sliding door that led out to the balcony caught your attention at the same time as her and you were running to slide it open and see the view of the city. “Bell, is this even real?” You gazed out in awe, seeing all the buildings and businesses that surrounded. You couldn’t wait to see what it looked like at nighttime with the city lights. Just as your friend went to answer you, there was a knock on the apartment door that was left wide open and you turned to see the movers standing there. You both looked at one another with large smiles, “Let’s turn this place into home, B.”

“I think it’ll look better against that wall.” Bellamy placed her hand on the man’s arm, pointing to the opposite side of the living room. “Could you just move it one more time?” You bit your lips together, trying to stifle a laugh as she batted her lashes at him. The movers made it to your new home right after you had and your best friend was quick to put them to work. You stood back, allowing her to give directions with flirty giggles, directing the men where to put everything.

Finding it best to stay out of her way, you decided to occupy yourself with something else, “Hey, hun!” You called across the room to Bellamy, “I’m gonna start unpacking the kitchen.” She gave you a thumbs up without breaking concentration on the movers. Walking into the tiny kitchen, you pulled open the first box you saw to reveal all of your plates and bowls, wrapped in old newspapers. You decided on a cabinet and began stacking the dishes, one by one, discarding the papers into the empty box as you went. Next was the cups and mugs then tupperware and pots and pans. After a little over an hour, you had the kitchen completely unpacked with everything in its rightful place.

As you stood in the middle of the space breaking down all of the boxes, your friend came through the doorway, “Everything is officially moved in.” You watched as she padded to the refrigerator to retrieve a bottle of water. She shook a bottle in the air, silently asking if you wanted one, and tossed it after you gave a nod, “And, courtesy of those three very sweet men, the living room is already assembled.” Bellamy gave a proud smile as she cracked open her bottle. “We just have to fill the bookshelf and hang some art on the walls or something.” She shrugged, taking a large gulp of water.

You took a few chugs of your own and checked the time on your phone, pausing the music that was playing. “It’s only 1 o’clock, we’re making pretty good time. You wanna go find lunch somewhere?” Bellamy’s phone began ringing as she nodded her head and you watched her walk back into the living to retrieve it. After a minute you left the kitchen as well, going into your bedroom to find a change of clothes in the mountain of boxes. The apartment already came with beds and bedroom furniture and you dug through one box, pulling out the new sheets and comforter that you’d purchased and tossed them on the mattress.

“Soooo…” Bellamy startled you as she popped her head in the door frame, “Don’t hate me…” She gave an apologetic look.

You dropped the clothes you were holding to the bed and let out a sigh, “We’re not getting lunch, are we?” 

She came into the room, cupping your face with a pout, “I’m sorry, Y/N! Please don’t be mad.” You pulled out of her hold, rolling your eyes, “That was my new boss that just called and he wants me to go down to headquarters to meet everyone.”

You weren’t mad, you knew how important this job was to her, “It’s fine, Bell. Take my keys, they’re on the kitchen counter.” You pointed out the door.

A high pitched squeal left her mouth and she wrapped you in an incredibly tight hug, “I’ll make this up to you, I swear!” She went to her own bedroom to change clothes and you decided you would still go out and get food, but you would also take the time to look at who may be hiring in the area. You pulled on a pair of cutoff denim shorts and a black baby tee that read ‘farm fresh peaches’ with two of the bright fruits printed over the chest. Once satisfied with your outfit, you dug through your laptop case to pull out a copy of your resumé and a separate sheet of paper with a solid list of references, and tucked them into your bag just as Bellamy came back to your doorway, “I love you and I’ll be back soon!”

“Leave me your keys, Bell!” You called as she disappeared back out into the apartment, “I’m gonna go explore the neighborhood a little bit and you’ll have my keys, so leave yours for me.” She nodded, digging her key ring from her purse and dropping them on the counter.

Ten minutes later, you were locking up and riding the elevator to the ground floor. You stepped out on the street, looking left and right to decide which direction you wanted to go in. Opting for the left, you started on your journey, unsure of where you might end up, with a goal of finding lunch in mind. You’d lost count of how many blocks you walked when you landed on Market Street. The entire length of it was lined with stores and bars and restaurants, it was unlike anything you’d see back home. Sure, Pittsburgh was a great city to visit, but it didn’t compare to this in your eyes. You scoped out a few different food spots as you walked along the sidewalk, Some with potential to eat at, others with potential for work, but you continued on, lost in the bustle of everything going on around you until something caught your eye. A bright, neon open sign shined bright in a storefront window and illuminated the ‘Now Hiring’ sign to its right. It was a piece of paper that looked like someone just scribbled the note on with thick, black sharpie, and taped it to the window as a joke. Your gaze traveled up to the hanging sign above the door, Highway Tunes Records, before dropping back to the windows and seeing the art and posters adorning the walls inside. Your eyes fell upon a psychedelic poster, made up of colorful and abstract swirls that came together to unmistakably make Jimi Hendrix. An audible gasp escaped and you found yourself pulling the door open and shuffling inside the store and straight over to the poster. You were entranced as you stared up at it, unable to tear your eyes away until a voice stole your attention.

“You a Hendrix fan?” Turning to find whoever the voice came from, you were met with a gleaming set of teeth, stretched into a mesmerizing grin, with the tiniest gap between the front two.

You returned his smile, murmuring a response once you realized you’d been staring at him, “Uh… Yeah. He was my dad’s favorite musician.” You glanced back up at the framed poster as he replied.

He was standing incredibly close, you could feel the heat radiating from his body, “Well, he is great… So!” His exclamation made you jump and he laughed, “Sorry, it’s been a slow day and you’re probably our fifth customer since opening at noon.” You looked down at your phone to check the time, 2:49pm, and gave him a sympathetic smile. You knew how boring a slow day at work could be. “Anyways… What brings you into HIghway Tunes? Looking for a specific album?”

 “Actually, that is what brought me in here.” You pointed up to the Jimi poster, “It felt like it was calling me in.” You shook your head, aware of how weird that sounded, but before you could try to reword it, the man was already talking.

“Oh. Well, unfortunately, I can’t sell you that specific piece.” He let out a huff, turning on his heel and walking in the opposite direction. Your brow furrowed as you watched him go and he turned around, gesturing for you to follow him, “That one is part of Jake’s personal collection.” He started after you fell into step behind him, “He’d kill me if I sold it and then he’d hunt you down and kill you too… But these…” He stopped in front of a giant bin, filled with rolled up posters, and flipped open the binder above it, “These are all on the market.”

You watched as he thumbed the pages, looking over the inventory of music posters. You couldn’t help but stare at him. Full lips, bordered by a tasteful bit of facial hair. A wild mess of curls that covered his forehead and ears, only leaving the small, silver hoops piercing his lobes to stick out. He had a constant smile on his face and you almost didn’t want to open your mouth out of fear that it would go away, “I’m not… really looking to buy anything.” You watched the grin falter, but he quickly recovered it, “I’m sorry. I just don’t have the spare money right now to spend on things that aren’t necessities.” You scrunched your nose with a shrug.

He turned to face you, looking you up and down as if he was sizing you up, “You’re not from around here.” Suddenly feeling self conscious, you crossed your arms over your chest, looking away from him, “Hey, no. I didn’t mean any offense… Just that the only people who come in here are either regulars or tourists and you’re certainly not a regular.”

“How do you know I’m not a regular?” You gave him a pointed look as you pursed your lips. “Maybe you just always miss me when I come in?”

“Naah. Nobody comes in here without me or Jakey seeing them and I would not forget you.” He slapped his palm over his face whilst shaking his head, “Sorry, that… That sounded creepy. I just meant… never mind.” A bright blush started to overtake his cheeks.

He was so charming and handsome, you couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled from your mouth and if Bellamy were there, she’d accuse you of flirting. “Okay, I did just move here, but tell you what… As soon as I get a job, I promise to become a regular.” You flashed him a sweet smile before turning around and heading for the door, “Don’t forget my face.”

“Woah, wait!” He called after you and you stopped to face him again, a questioning lift to your brows, as he jogged the short distance across the store, “You need a job? We’re hiring.” He sounded desperate as he continued, “The pay is good, I swear. You’ll get great hours and everyone here is chill!”

You looked around at the shop, really taking in the eccentric environment. His smile alone was enticing you to say yes and you couldn’t fight against it, “So… is this an official interview?” You joked and saw his shoulders visibly relax.

He looked around the store as though he was searching for something, “Actually, let me find Jake. We might be able to interview you right now.” He went in the opposite direction from you, giving you no time to decline before heading for the checkout counter, but he stopped, “I’m Josh, by the way!” He yelled from where he stood

You called out to him, still planted by the front door, “I’m Y/N!” His smile seemed to grow brighter as he repeated your name back to you.

Just as he was about to push through the door behind the counter, it flung open to reveal another man behind it, “What’s with all the fucking yelling?” From where you stood, it looked like he was gritting his teeth at Josh. His hair was long, landing past his shoulders, and he wore a pair of dark sunglasses. He peered over Josh’s shoulder to get a look at you and you saw his lips moving before the curly headed boy turned and waved you towards them.

You swallowed your nerves and began shuffling towards them. Your eyes drifted to the ceiling to see it plastered with vinyls, all painted over with intricate and colorful artwork. As you stepped up to the counter, your eyes fell on the men, “This place is a lot like Trax.” They both gave you strange looks, prompting you to clarify, “The record store from Pretty In Pink? With Molly Ringwald?” The confusion didn’t leave their faces as you stared at them, “Seriously? That’s like, my favorite movie. It’s an iconic John Hughes masterpiece! The scene when Duckie sings Otis Redding?” You continued to gush despite how clueless they clearly were.

Josh’s face lit up into a grin as he listened to you, but the other guy remained stoic, almost like he was bored, “Well it’s a good thing you don’t need to know movies to work in a music store.” You couldn’t help the look of shock on your face at his pompous tone.

But you were never one to let a man make you feel small, “No, you’re right, but… if I’m not mistaken, there’s an entire shelf over there,” You pointed to your left with a cocky smile, “that is loaded with movie soundtracks… And if you ask me, music and film go hand and hand.” Looking back at him, you gave an innocent shrug, “But you’re the boss, so who am I to argue?” He was taken aback by your quip but you could’ve sworn you saw a hint of a smirk on his lips as he eyed you. You directed your attention back to Josh, “Maybe I’m not a good fit… but I hope you find someone who will be.” You were about to turn and leave, but he stopped you.

“No, don’t leave!” He slapped the other man’s arm, “Jake, don’t be a jackass. We need the help and I think she’ll be great.” He was practically pleading.

“Ahh, you’re Jake…” You finally connected the dots, “The same Jake that would hunt me down and kill me if I made off with that Hendrix poster over there?” You nodded towards the frame that hung on the wall. “So maybe you don’t know classic movies, but you clearly have good taste in music.” It was an attempt at flattery and it seemed to work because he finally cracked a genuine smile.

His eyes flashed to the poster and came back to you, “What’s your favorite Jimi album? Song?” He was trying to quiz you as if he didn’t believe you were really a fan of the musician. “Answer carefully, peach.” 

Your gaze dropped to your shirt before you narrowed your eyes at him, “Axis: Bold As Love by the Experience and Red House… Specifically the Woodstock live recording.” You raised your eyebrow, waiting for a snide remark, “And I have a name…” You almost forgot that Josh was standing beside him until he cleared his throat.

He clapped his hands together with a laugh, “See, Jakey. You can’t tell me she wouldn’t fit in perfectly.”

Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on the counter, “Why is Red House your favorite song?” The question made you smile.

“It’s all very bluesy. The guitar riff and solo, his lyrics… The first time my dad played that song, I was completely enthralled.” You were speaking genuinely and judging by the way he was nodding, he knew it.

He turned to Josh, silently communicating to him with a look. You watched them, trying to decipher what was being discussed, but as you studied their expressions, you noticed how similar they looked. Josh’s eyes locked with yours and he answered your question before you could ask it, “Yeah, we’re twins, Y/N.” He chuckled softly, “It’s always the first thing people ask…” You mumbled an apology, casting your eyes to the floor, “Nothing to be sorry for. But good news! You’re hired!”

“What?” You looked at him in shock, “I- But- Don’t you have to…ask more questions?” How did they decide that with just a series of facial expressions to one another? “Do you need references or… I don’t know, it’s never been this easy to get a job, there’s gotta be a catch…”

Jake disappeared through the door behind him for a moment and reemerged holding a t-shirt, “The catch is, you gotta be here bright and early tomorrow to start training.” He tossed the tee at you and slid a piece of paper over the counter, “Take this home, fill it out, and bring it back with you. I’ll see you here at 9am, peach.” He turned around, going back through the door and closing it behind him.

“I promise, he’s not as unpleasant as he makes himself seem.” Josh came around the corner to stand beside you and pulled the paper from the counter, “We’ll start your wages at $20.25 per hour. I just need you to fill out this application with all your basic information. Yanno, name, number, address, social. Then we’ll be able to get you on payroll asap.” He handed you the page with his bright grin that you were growing to really enjoy.

“I’ll take your word for it.” You stuffed the t-shirt and application into your tote bag, “So he’s training me tomorrow?” The distaste was evident in the way you forced a frown, “Are you gonna be around to soften that blow?” You were begging the universe for a yes, but wound up disappointed.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, “Mondays are my days off…” He gave an apologetic smile, “Jake’s actually really cool, Y/N. And I’ll make sure he goes easy on you.” As if he could sense the anxiety radiating from you, he offered a compromise, “Alright, I have some shit to get done tomorrow, but I’ll stop in around lunch to see how everything’s going. Okay?” He flashed that damn smile and you were sold.

“Thank you, Josh.” Your phone began to ring in your back pocket and you pulled it out, muttering a sorry to him as you answered it, “Hey, Bell.” You listened to her speak for a few moments, “No, I haven’t… I’m fucking starving, though. You wanna come pick me up?...Uhhh, I’m not sure, it’s a record store on Market Street…Yeah, I’ll just drop a pin… Perfect. Love you too, babe.” You hung up, sending her your location, and stuffed the phone back into your pocket. “Sorry about that.”

“Was that your boyfriend?” The question caught you off guard, but the apprehension on his face threw you off even more.

You shook your head, partially to answer his question, but also to clear your mind enough to form a response, “Umm. No. No, that was Bell- Bellamy.” You paused before elaborating further, “She’s my best friend. We moved down here together…” 

He let out a breath that you didn’t realize he was holding in, “Oh! Cool.” The silence stretched between you and you weren’t sure if he felt as awkward as you did.

Your phone dinged, saving you from the tension, and you pulled it back out to see a text from your friend, “She’s here, so I’m gonna go…” You pointed towards the door before slowly turning away from him. Just as you reached the door, you looked back to see him watching you and tried to conceal the blush creeping onto your cheeks, “Any quick food recommendations? We haven’t eaten yet today… Oh! Preferably cheap?” 

“If you’re looking for something close, Super Duper Burgers is great. Definitely check their seasonal menu.” He ran his fingers over his mustache, drawing your attention to his lips, “If you're willing to go a little further up the Market, Taqueria Cancun has some solid, authentic Mexican tacos. There’s a ton of sushi joints.”

“How about pizza? I’m kind of craving a greasy slice.” You knew Bellamy was waiting for you, but for some reason, you didn’t want to leave.

“Ahh, a girl after my own heart.” Josh pulled his bottom lip between his teeth for a few seconds, “Slice House. Hands down, best pizza. You gotta try the Drunken Italian.” He pinched his fingers together, giving an exaggerated chef’s kiss, “The vodka sauce is fucking revolutionary.” You held eye contact for longer than you cared to admit, but then the corner of his lip curled into a smirk, “You better get going, your friend is waiting.”

“Yeah, I guess I should… See you tomorrow?” He nodded his head, forcing his curls to sway as he waved goodbye. “Bye, Josh.” You pushed through the door and found Bellamy waiting in your car at the curb.

She pulled her purse from the passenger seat as you slid in and handed your phone off with the directions to the pizza place, “Why am I not surprised that you already managed to find a music store?” She shifted the car into drive, hitting the blinker to pull out.

“Bell, I literally just walked in there and they hired me. I start tomorrow.” You almost didn’t believe the words that poured out of your mouth. “It was the weirdest thing… I walked by and there was this Jimi Hendrix poster, and you remember how much my dad loved Jimi?” She nodded, waiting for you to continue, “When I saw it, it just drew me in. I don’t know how to explain it. But I was standing there and this guy came up to me, Josh, and-.”

“Mhmm…” Bellamy cut you off with a knowing smirk, “Josh, huh?”

You scoffed at her, “No. Don’t start, it’s not even like that.” You didn’t defend any further, just proceeded with your story, “Anyways… He offered me a job and he and his brother interviewed me right on the spot. I start tomorrow morning and get this, Twenty dollars an hour, Bell.”

She gawked at you, eyes wide, “Twenty? That’s over the minimum wage here. Did you suck his dick to get it?” She laughed at her own joke as you lightly hit her arm.

“You’re an asshole, yanno?” You sat back in your seat, laughing with her. “He is pretty cute, I can’t lie… He just seems like a really fun person and he’s always smiling. Like the brightest smile you’d ever see... But his brother, Jake, was sort of insufferable.” You were chewing on your lip as she glanced at you.

“Insufferable how?” She turned to you fully as the car stopped at a red light.

You thought back to the short exchange you’d had with him, “He was arrogant as hell, for starters.” Her eyes went back to the road as she let off the brake and you continued, “He didn’t even bother to learn my name, just kept calling me ‘peach.’ You wouldn’t even know they were twins if they didn’t look identical.” You stared out the window, looking at the buildings to find Slice House.

Bellamy spotted the restaurant at the same time you did, swinging the car into the first available spot she could find, “Twins? Oh, you’re fucking joking, Y/N. We haven’t even lived here a full day!” She cut the engine as she glared at you, “How old are they?”

“I don’t know? Our age, maybe a little older… Why does it matter?” You were toying with your fingers, something you did when you were nervous. “Don’t give me that damn look, Bellamy! It’s just a job. You’re not gonna find some hidden context in this.” Pushing the car door open, you stepped out to end the conversation.

She was popping out of her side right after you, “Okay, babe. Whatever you say…” You knew she had more to say but she dropped the topic for the time being as you both walked into the restaurant.

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You stood right outside of the door, looking at your reflection in the glass to straighten your shirt out. It was 8:48am and you were trying to work up the courage to go in, mentally preparing yourself to be trained by Jake. You were too focused on your reflection to see that he was coming across the store. The door pushed open and you jumped back with a yelp, “Did you plan on coming in for your shift or were you gonna spend another 15 minutes fixing your shirt?” He was holding the door, waiting for you to go inside.

You moved past him, rolling your eyes, “You know, you just make the atmosphere so inviting. How could I not want to be here?” You bit your tongue, aware of how much attitude you’d just given the man who is technically your boss. “Sorry, I-.” You turned back to face him but he was already breezing by you.

“You’re kind of a fucking brat…” You followed behind him, ready to argue his claim, but he was already moving on as though he’d said nothing at all, “Here. We got a long morning ahead of us and you’re gonna need to keep up with me.” He grabbed a cup from beside the register, handing it to you, and pointed to the door behind him, “There’s cream and sugar in the office if you need it, don’t take forever.” Taking the hot coffee without a word, you stepped around him to go into the office. When you came back, he was leaning against the counter, chin propped on his fist, “You fill that paper out, peach?”

Digging into your tote, you pulled the paper out and slapped it down in front of him, “That’s not my name, it’s-.”

“Y/N. I know” His lips curled into a conceited smirk and, had he not been walking away,  you might have slapped it right off of his face, “Peach feels more fitting.” He waved his hand, beckoning you to follow him.

You fell into step as he walked towards the front of the store, “You saw fruit on my shirt and ran with it. Very original idea, can’t believe I didn’t think of it.” The look he had when he whipped around to face you made you clamp your mouth shut, but you couldn’t help the tingle you felt through your body at his response.

Jake was glaring at you with a hint of something you couldn’t quite place, “You’ve got a mouth on you.” He was pointing a finger at you, “and I can think of a few different ways to shut it.” Your jaw practically hit the floor as you stared at him and he flashed a devilish smile, knowing that he’d left you speechless. He turned away again, leading you to a display near the front door, “Pay attention.” You nodded silently as he started mapping things out for you, “This rack is all new release vinyls. We change most of them out weekly, depending on what kind of album drops there are.” He started walking towards the middle of the store, walking between the rows of shelves, “Everything is sorted by genre first and then alphabetical order.” You listened intently as he sped through the rundown, “We keep bargain bins down here.” He pulled open a cabinet door below one of the tables, revealing crates full of vinyls with torn and worn sleeves, “These are all used and donated, we sell them for $3 a piece or we do 10 for $10. It’s hit or miss, some work, some don’t.” Closing the cabinet, he moved to a different part of the store. You trailed quietly alongside him, soaking up all of the information he was spewing. After about 20 minutes, he’d looped you both back to the front, “Let’s see if you’ve kept up…” He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting to see if you’d maintained any of the knowledge.

“Okay…” You took a deep breath, “Here we have new releases. They get updated weekly, unless there aren’t any good drops.” You continued throughout the space, pouring everything he’d given you back out to him, until you made it to the checkout counter, “Limited Edition vinyls are kept behind the counter, the new inventory delivery comes every Friday morning at 8am sharp, and I think that’s everything…?”

Jake was nodding his head, surprisingly impressed, “Not bad, peach.” He glanced at the clock on the wall, “We got a half hour before we open at 11.” He plucked your application from the counter where you’d left it, “I’m gonna get through some paperwork. You can-” He was cut off by the sound of footsteps coming from the back of the store. “Liv? I thought we wouldn’t see you until summer?” He greeted the short, blonde girl.

She had a stereotypical valley girl accent, “Finished my semester early, figured you guys needed me more than UCLA.” She gave him a smile that looked like she wanted to devour him. Her eyes flashed to you dismissively before flying back to Jake, “You here by yourself? I can clock in and help out.”

You shifted on your feet, feeling out of place, and Jake took notice, “Not alone today, I have peach, here, to help out.” He nodded towards you.

“Peach?” She finally took the time to really look you over, “Were your parents hippies or something?”

You opened your mouth and closed it again, not sure how to respond, “Uhh. No, that’s not… My name is Y/N.” You reach out for a handshake, out of respect, but she just stared at your extended hand.

“Cool. I’m Olivia.” And just like that, she directed her attention back to Jake, “Can you fit me on the schedule this week?” She pushed her bottom lip out, looking like a toddler begging for candy, “I know you guys miss me.”

He shook his head with a faint smile, “I’ll talk to Josh.” He left it at that, turning to you, “Take that box and start putting the shit where it goes.” He pointed at the box on the floor.

“Aye aye, captain.” You saluted him with a smile and picked the box up.

A chuckle escaped his mouth and until that moment, you thought he was incapable of feeling joy, “I’ll be in the office if you need anything.” He started to walk around the counter, “I’ll let you know about the schedule, Liv.” He slipped through the door and closed it behind him, leaving you with the girl.

To avoid conversation, you gripped the box in your arms and lifted it to counter to begin sorting through it. Pulling out a stack of vinyls, you carried them through the store, fitting them into their rightful places. You hadn’t realized Olivia was following you until her low, grating voice creeped into your ears, “So…How did you get a job here?” She was watching you carefully, almost like she was waiting for you to make a mistake, “Jake is suuuper picky about who he hires.”

You looked at the last vinyl in the stack you were carrying, “Uhm, I just came in here yesterday to look at something and Josh offered me the job.” Moving through the tables, you went to the Country section and tucked the album away, “Jake gave me a shirt and told me to be here at 9am, so here I am.”

She was standing so close to you that you almost ran into her as you turned around to retrieve more from the box, “Here you are…” She sounded annoyed, but you ignored it as you pushed past her.

You went about your business for the next several minutes, finishing the task that Jake had given you, as she lingered through the store, watching you work while she pretended to browse the music. You pulled the empty box from the counter, ready to ask your boss what he wanted you to do next, when the bell on the front door chimed. You turned around to see a man come in and go straight to the New Release rack. He perused for a few moments before moving to the tables to search through the records. You expected Jake to emerge from the office, but he never did. After a few minutes of the guy looking entirely lost in his search, you took a deep breath and made your way over to him. Your eyes flicked to Olivia to see her staring at you, a cocky grin on her face. “Hi, can I help you find something, hun?” You put on your best customer service smile as he turned to face you.

“Actually yeah…” He looked like he was maybe in his early twenties and he seemed nervous, “I’m looking for something for my dad. He just bought himself a record player, but he doesn’t have any records for it.” He gave a shrug, “I don’t really know where to start here.”

This wasn’t as scary as you thought it would be, “Okay, do you know what kind of music he likes? Any specific artist or band?” You waited patiently for him to answer.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, tapping the screen a few times, and held it up to show you, “This is a band right? I think he likes them.” It was a picture of a man, probably his father, wearing a Led Zeppelin tour t-shirt.

Your eyes went back to his face, giving him another sweet grin, “Yeah. Zeppelin’s a great band. Your dad has great taste.” You moved around him to walk him over to the appropriate shelves, “We should have a ton of their stuff… Do you want anything specific?” You had a feeling that he wouldn’t know what to choose.

“I- Well, what would you recommend?” He stood by while you flicked through the selection, “Which one is the best?”

“That’s a tricky question.” You pulled a few vinyls from the display, holding them up one by one, “So, Zep one is a safe choice. It’s their first studio album, really opened up the door for them, plus it’s got a couple really great blues covers.” You slid that one to the back of your stack to reveal the next, “ Two is also good. You get Whole Lotta Love, Ramble On, Heartbreaker.” He was nodding as you pulled your final option forward, “This one is my personal favorite.” You held up the album, showing him the cover with the peeling paint and the old man carrying a bundle of sticks, “I kind of skipped over three, but Zoso…This is their fourth studio album, and arguably the best.” You handed it to the boy to examine, “Going to California is probably my favorite song of all time. But it’s also got Stairway to Heaven and When the Levee Breaks. Black Dog. If your dad is a Led Zeppelin fan, then he’ll definitely appreciate this.”

“You know what, I’ll take this one and the first one you showed me.” You handed him the first album before turning to put the remaining one back on the shelf. He was smiling wide as he took it from you, “So are you like a music expert or something?”

You giggled at his question, “I wouldn’t say expert… Just really appreciative of what’s good.” You were staring at his light blue eyes, almost entranced in them when Jake barked your name from the counter. You jumped, whipping around to look at him with wide eyes. He held his hand up, waving for you to go to him, “Gimme one minute.” You called out to him and went to turn back to the man in front of you, but Jake’s voice rang out louder.

“No. Right now, Y/N.” He was leaning his hands on the countertop, glaring in your direction, but his eyes weren’t on you.

You muttered an apology to the blue-eyed boy, “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back.” You shuffled across the store, embarrassed at how he’d just spoken to you in front of your first customer, but also pissed at how he treated you like you were an insolent child. You stood in front of him, whisper-yelling to avoid further embarrassment, “What the hell, Jake? What did I do?” You looked around, realizing that Olivia was gone.

“You’re here to work, not flirt.” There was an edge to his tone that you couldn’t fully decipher.

“What?” You stared at him in shock, “I wasn’t- I was making a sale! Yanno? What you hired me to do…” Was this conversation even real?

He stepped out from behind the counter, “Go wait in the office, I’ll finish your sale.” You moved to try and stop him but his voice was dangerously low, stopping you in your tracks, “Office, Y/N. I’ll carry you in there myself if I have to.” He turned on his heel, walking towards the customer without another word, and you found yourself obeying his command to wait in the office.

Pushing through the door, you looked around the small space before closing it and dropping into a chair. You were highly considering just quitting as soon as he came in, but at the same time, you didn’t want to. Everything was so confusing… Why did he accuse you of flirting when he wasn’t even there? And why did the possibility of you flirting make him so mad? You sunk further into your seat, pondering your own questions, but the one you needed an answer for most; Why did you so easily bend to his will? You were pulled from your thoughts by the door opening.

“Good to know you’re capable of obeying orders, peach…”

.

.

.

.

.

🤍Taglist🤍

@jakekiszkasbuttsweat @ieatedsammy @twistedmelodies @dropdeadalyx31 @ageofbajabule @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @ignite-my-fire @becinabubblegvf @literal-dead-leaf @sanguinebats @myleftsock @laneygvf @writingcold @sinarainbows @lipstickitty @giraffehippy

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much

00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it

00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing

00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles

00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??

01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug

01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack

02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious

02:13(What is cba)

02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg

02:44 dans little pat

02:58 phivorce

03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional

03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes

04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.

Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn

04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world

05:23 🍑

05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this

06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy

06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain

06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much

07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that

07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”

07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words

08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake

08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship

09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen

09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.

09:38: dans precious little selfies

09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan

09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????

10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie

10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.

11:02 jump. Scare.

11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.

12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?

12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate

13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why

13:35 jump. Scare.

14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have

15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!

15:20 HOT

16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>

16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them

17:06 omatone :(

18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???

18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him

19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them

19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH

19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan

20:17 this is so familiar

20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain

22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’

23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.

24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy

Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers

[sequinsmile-x]

The Games We Play - Chapter 1

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her.

She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death. 

A Hunger Games AU

-x-

Hi friends,

Well here it is. The crowning jewel in my crown of insanity. The most unhinged AU I've ever come up with.

I had this idea months ago when watching The Hunger Games, another one of my hyperfixations, and I started teasing a few people saying I'd write a Hotchniss AU based on it. Then I started getting close to a couple of milestones on here...both hitting 2 million words of fanfic and 1,000 followers on tumblr. So I said I'd write this when I hit those milestones.

Both happened yesterday.

So, here we are. I really hope you enjoy this, I've worked really hard on the story and making it fit for our beloved CM characters as well as the setting of The Hunger Games.

The next chapter will be up in a few days. For now it is set as 4 chapters, it might turn into 5 if I get a little carried away.

As always, please let me know what you think!

-x-

Words: 2.5k

A full list of warnings can be found on the series master list

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“Emily, it’s almost time to go.” 

She sighs as her mother calls out for her and she closes her eyes, blowing out a shaky breath before she looks at herself in the mirror. She runs her fingers through her dark, perfectly curled hair, making sure it was lying over her shoulders. The dark green tea dress her mother had picked out for her came down to just above her knees, the colour of it complimenting her skin tone. It was velvet, soft and clearly expensive even just to look at, her appearance at odds with almost everyone else in her district. 

She looked every bit like the Victor she wished she wasn’t. 

It had been three years since she’d won. Since her name had been called out in the town square, the murmuring of her peers around her, whispers that ‘the mayor's daughter’ hadn’t even been safe fading out as she walked to the stage. In her worst moments, the timing of her mother’s reelection, something that looked unlikely at the time, and her reaping felt suspicious. The mayor’s daughter going into the games and becoming the first Victor for the district in a quarter of a century had won the election in a landslide. 

It wasn’t lost on Emily that even if she’d died in the arena her mother would have likely won again anyway.

She liked to think that her mother hadn’t put her life at risk for a small grab of power, that she hadn’t made some deal and bartered her 15-year-old daughter’s survival like a chip in a poker game, hoping no one saw her bluff. She liked to think that, but she knew enough about how it all worked, had seen enough in the Capitol since becoming a Victor to know that power was the most important currency in this country. Instead, Emily actively ignored the truth laid out in front of her, knowing that in order to maintain appearances she had no other choice.  

She’d won, but sometimes she wondered if she’d ever left the arena at all. 

She looks at herself in the mirror one last time, smoothing her hands down her dress, her palms lingering over where the large scar on her abdomen was, the injury that had almost killed her. It was unsightly, something that made her wince whenever she saw it, but she stood by her decision to not have the Capitol remove it. She wanted to remember every day what she’d survived.

“I’m ready.” 

The walk to the town square is familiar. She’s sure she could do it in her sleep, a death march she’d been part of her whole life, something she’d done long before she qualified for the games in the first place. She felt a sense of relief that her friends would age out this year, that this was the final time their names would be in the draw, their 18th birthdays always coming with a sigh of relief because it was the last time they’d stand there, their breath caught in their lungs as they waited to hear their name called out. 

It feels like a weight is lifted from her shoulders when she spots Dave the moment she steps into the town hall. He was her mentor and friend, the only other victor to ever come from their district.  The only other person who knew what it took from someone to win the games and come home alive. 

“Hey kid,” he says, pulling her into a hug, one she returns gratefully. She freezes when she hears a throat clear from behind her, her mother’s disapproval at the father figure in her life something she’d made clear. Emily smiles tightly at Dave as she pulls back from him, and she conceals a smile when he winks at her, “You ready?” 

She blows out a slow breath. None of this ever got any easier. Having to stand on stage in silence, a fake smile painted on her face, as more children were picked for a death they’d done nothing to deserve. The screams of the parents constantly echoed in her head, never quite going away. They always came back with a vengeance when the tributes died and she knew she was going home on an empty train, with no way she could possibly comfort anyone.

She’d become a cog in the machine that she hated, and she wasn’t sure how she’d ever escape. Her victory and her biggest crime both wrapped up in surviving, in pulling herself out of the pit she’d been thrown into when she was 15. 

“Yeah,” she breathes out, pressing her lips together as she lets her mask slip into place, “I’m ready.” 

___

He has to encourage this brother out of the house. 

His father was passed out drunk in the living room, and his mother was close to hysterical at the thought of Sean being old enough to go into the games now, a level of emotion Aaron didn’t ever remember her showing for him. 

He wraps his arm around Sean’s shoulders as they approach the town square, and he feels the 12-year-old tense, his body tight with a fear that Aaron remembered well. It was a feeling that oddly faded over the years, leaving him almost apathetic now, the reality that this was the final year he’d have to do this almost lost on him until his mother mentioned it in passing that morning. 

“It will be okay Sean,” Aaron says, stopping to look at his brother, a smile he hopes is reassuring on his face, “It’s your first year. People rarely get their name called on their first year.”

Sean nods and carries on walking towards the signing-in point, “Will Mom and Dad come?” 

Aaron sighs as he ruffles his younger brother's hair, “Mom probably will. Dad’s…resting after a long day at work yesterday.”

“I’m 12, not stupid Aaron,” he says, and they come to a stop again before they both join their respective lines, “You don’t have to protect me anymore,” he shrugs, a playful smile spreading across his face, “If the government think I’m old enough to die for entertainment, I’m old enough to know Dad is a piece of crap.” 

Aaron chuckles and shakes his head before he ruffles Sean’s hair again, wondering when his little brother had grown up, “Don’t talk like that.”

Sean shrugs him off, any remnants of nerves long gone, “See you after?” 

He nods, “See you after.” 

Aaron sighs as he signs in, not even flinching as they take a drop of blood to confirm his identity, and he then walks over to the holding pen for his year group. He pauses for a moment when he spots Haley, his smile tight as their eyes meet. They’d dated for the last couple of years but ended their relationship recently, a difference in opinion on what life would hold for them once they were free from this pulling them apart. She smiles back, offering him a small wave before she turns back to her friends, and he finds a place to stand. 

He looks up as the doors to the town hall open, the usual anthem playing out through crackly speakers set up around the square. His gaze is immediately fixed on Emily, her beauty as distracting as it always had been. 

He’d known her all his life. She was from the other side of town, but they’d always gone to school together. She was nice, and funny and beautiful, never using the fact she was the mayor’s daughter to try and gain favour or popularity. If anything, she seemed to butt against the privilege it would give her, constantly pushing boundaries. They were friends for most of their lives, and always spent as much time together as possible. He’d been in love with her, always convincing himself that one day they could be more than friends. 

Then she was reaped and everything changed. 

He’d watched the games closer than he ever had that year, looking out for her as much as possible, always feeling a strange sense of elation and fear the moment he saw her. When she won he was happy, delighted that she’d survived, that he wouldn’t have to imagine a life without her, but she came back different. Changed by the things she had seen and done in the games. 

She never returned to school, the life of a Victor seemingly a busy one, and her initial attempts at spending time with him faded away once he started to date Haley. Their friendship changed by circumstances beyond their control. He’d aged out of school just a few months ago and soon as he’d turned 18 he’d got a job alongside his father. 

Aaron missed Emily, even though she was right in front of him, and he wanted to fix things one day, to be whatever she needed.

She always looked like she needed a friend, her life as lonely as it was busy, her only real company these days found in David Rossi - the only other Victor from their district. 

Their eyes briefly meet, her’s flicking towards him, a brief smile flashing across her face before she continues to look forward, stoic and strong in a way she’d been since long before he stood hopelessly in this very spot when her name rang out around them.  

He’s drawn back into what’s going on around him, all the explanations for why this was happening, the price they were paying for a war fought and lost long before they were born. The enthusiasm with which the woman from the Capitol explained it all always got his shackles up, her brightly coloured clothes and hair as out of place as her zeal for selecting teenagers to send to their deaths. 

Emily had told him once, fresh back from the games, her clothes stuffed with padding to try and hide the weight she’d noticeably lost, that the woman’s name was Penelope. That she was actually nice, albeit misguided, and that she’d been one of the few people in the Capitol Emily had been able to get along with. 

“Ladies first,” Penelope says, reaching into the giant bowl, dipping her hand into the pile of slips of paper, a literal hand of fate dealt to someone standing in the crowd. She picks a slip and unfolds it, stepping back in front of the microphone, “Kate Joyner.” 

Aaron looks over at Kate and sees the momentary panic flash through her before she steps away from the crowd and walks over to the stage. She was 17 and in the year below at school, someone he’d always got along with any time that they interacted. He feels guilty for the flash of relief that rushes through him when he realises this means Haley was free, that she’d never be at risk of going through all of this again. Despite everything, he still loved her, had still imagined a future with her, and he was happy she’d get to have the life she deserved and wanted. 

He looks back at the stage and sees Emily reach out and touch Kate’s arm as she stands next to her, a brief thing he’s sure no one else would notice unless they were looking right at her. It’s a moment of comfort, something that he’s sure doesn’t even touch the surface of what Kate is feeling. But it’s something. A reminder she isn’t alone in this. 

At least, she wouldn’t be alone until the moment she stepped into the Arena. 

“And now for the gentlemen,” Penelope says, and Aaron feels his breath catch in his chest, the few moments it takes her to pick a name seem to last a lifetime, everything drawn out into slow motion, even the breeze in Emily’s hair, loose strands moving in the wind with more freedom than any of them had ever had. Penelope picks up one of the slips of paper and unfolds it, “Sean Hotchner.” 

It takes a moment for Aaron’s brain to catch up, for him to realise what’s happened. He snaps his head to where his brother is standing. He can see from where he is that Sean is panicking, that tears are flooding his eyes as his peers step backwards from him, making it clear to everyone exactly who he is. It seemed unfair, cruel that his brother had been picked on his first ever time when this was Aaron’s sixth time going through this process. 

Aaron doesn’t think about it, his body moving on autopilot, his desire to spare his brother from this, to save him in a way he hadn’t been to save him from their father, driving him forward. He’s standing on the path leading to the stage before Sean can even start to walk towards it, and he sucks in a deep breath, before he says two words that he’s sure all but sign his death warrant. 

“I volunteer.” 

___

She freezes as she watches him walk out from where he was standing. She already knew what was about to happen. He was brave to a fault, foolhardy with his own safety, and he loved his brother. He held everyone he cared about in higher esteem than himself. His almost subconscious desire to protect everyone around him even to his own detriment something she’d known about since they were small children. 

He’d once taken the blame for damaging a vase in her mother’s house that she’d broken, claiming it was his fault that it had fallen from the table it had been sitting on even though it was her who had knocked it over. He’d teased her about it for years, and winked as he told her that owed him one.

Emily can’t help but stare as he walks up the stairs to the stage and stands next to Penelope.

“A volunteer, how exciting,” Penelope says, her exuberance something Emily cannot find comfort in for once, “What’s your name?” 

“Aaron…” he says, clearing his throat, “Aaron Hotchner.” 

His name rings out around the town square, a death rattle he was ringing himself. One that had led so many to their demise before him. The last few years it had happened under her watch, and it takes everything in her not to gasp, to continue to play the part of the victor she’d been for three years now. 

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her. She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death. 

Not when she’d been in love with him for as long as she could remember. 

-x-

Tag List:

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Join my tag list here!

[indigo-o]

I won't leave you

I really don't know what to do with this but I hope yall enjoy

The reader is like a little sibling/child to sigma even though he's 3 lmao

Reader also had an ability to draw things into life to an extent which is why they're working with him.

Fluff/comfort

Tw: Nikolai gogol, mentions of abuse, yelling I think that's it.

I looked up to see the sun rising. Time to start a new day. I went to my closet and got ready.

Ever day was like this, simple. My life in the sky casino. I'm the secretary to the general Manger. He doesn't even need one. He remembers everything.

I open the door. The same hallway it's been for a while since they hired me. I walked through the hallway getting to his office.

"Good sir, I'm sorry I'm late.". I sighed.

He gave a soft smile. "It's fine don't worry.".

I grabbed a piece of paper and sat down next to him and began to write and draw.

"Remember you have 1 meeting today with client a750 at 1400.". I smile.

He nodded.

We sat in his office for an 3-4 hours when his meeting came up.

It was a very 'private' meeting meaning I had to leave. Right before I left he gave me a key to his room and said.

"I have something in there for you.".

I took it and left the office, as I left a man with long white hair and Heterochromia eyes held the door open for me and then closed it quite quickly once I left.

I didn't put much thought to it and walked to his room.

When I opened the door I found a little gift bag, which held a set of very expensive pencils and sketch books. And right next to the gift bag was a bouquet of lillys.

He truly does memorize things.

So so kind.

I sat down on his couch and began to draw. I and after an hour or so I felt my eyes grow weak. And like that I was asleep.

✨️Sigma's pov✨️

"So you just kidnapped them?". I yelled at this clown in front of me.

"Oh no! We saved them! We give them protection for use of thire ability!". He's laughed without a care in the world.

"This is a 15 year old! They don't need this! I'm sure they already have enough to deal with!".

"Quiz time!!!! Why did we, what did you say? Kidnap them???, did you because their family abused them??? CORRECT!!". He shouted.

He then continued. " if it weren't for us they wouldn't be here, and we decided that you would be the best to take care of them. So yes we did kidnapp them but for a good cause. Remember I may be crazy but I feel gilt. And leaving them in there especially with their ability would have cause gilt.".

Hes definitely insane. At least he had good intentions this time. The truth is I don't need them but they need me.

"Okay gogol, thank you for coming. We will need to re-introduce y'all so thire comfortable.".

"Byeeeeeèeee sigma!!!". A grin appeared on his face as he disappeared threw his over coat.

I stood up, to go to room and check to see if they were still in there. "I'll be back."

Low and behold there they were curled up on my couch sound asleep. I walked to my bed and grabbed a blanket for them. Then placing on top of them.

Something was off, they were tense. Too tense. (Iconic dun dun duhnnnnn)

I shock them. It took 3 times then they opened their eyes shot open.

♧《readers pov》♧

I jumped up and grabbed the nearest person to me, it happened to only sigma in the room. I hugged him as tight as I could.

He tensed up but then relaxed.

"It's okay, shhh. It's okay. Nothing can hurt you.".

I continued to hug him as I cried.

"Please don't leave me, I'm sorry."

♤★Back to sigma's pov★♤

this what gogol ment. The other two can't deal with this. But shit I don't know what to do. Do I just sit here? Am I helping?

"Don't worry I won't leave you.".

I continued to let them hold on to me. Cry as much as they needed. I rubbed their back. Their breath slowed down.

"It's okay don't worry, I'm here, I won't leave you."

Their head laid on my chest as they slowly fell back into sleep.

"I won't leave you"

Hope y'all enjoyed!

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 19

Roman Roy x fem!reader

Summary: You and Roman deal with the backlash after seeing your parents after 5 years of no contact. You enter Roman's apartment and allow yourself to feel everything. But this still isn't the end.

TW: HUGE TRIGGER WARNING child abuse, psychical, verbal, emotional, psychological and sexual, CSA, SA, panic attacks

WC: 6.5 K

Notes: This was hard to write. But i'm happy with how it turned out. If the TW affect you, skip the interview. it isn't worth it. hope you take care of yourself. but it felt nice to get a few things off of my own chest.

Chapter 19: Everything Everywhere All At Once

The moment you stepped into Roman’s apartment, you finally allowed yourself to cry. You fell down to your knees, hand on the wall, and sobbed. Your tears wouldn’t stop. Your chest hurt. You felt as though you had been struck by lightning. Tingles were being sent throughout your entire body. And for a moment, just a moment, you felt like you were the only thing in the universe. Nothing around you existed. It was all just space. Your hand let go of the wall and fell onto the hardwood floor as you screamed out in agony. A lost child in the world. The only words you could get out were ‘Why?’ You seemed to repeat them over and over again as your sobs muffled them. Roman put his hands on your shoulder and tried to lift you up, but you simply didn’t have the energy to fully get up. Your legs felt like jelly. They wobbled just by holding up your torso. “No-Please-no.” You wept as Roman put your arm around him. His arm was around your waist as he slowly picked you up from your feet. “At least get on the couch. C’mon…” He softly spoke as he tried to get you to at least hold yourself together for a little bit. “It’s okay. I’m here.” He tried to assure you. That bit of reassurance gave you some strength to actually pull yourself up. Your nose dripped as you sniffled and wiped your nose. You allowed him to softly carry you, with guidance of your feet as well, to the couch where you dropped down once again. Your body curled in on itself as you began to silently weep. Your body shook at the shock your body just went through. Roman kneeled down in front of you as he moved your hair out of your face. “Hey- come on. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll make sure security never allows them near anymore. It’s okay.” He tried to understand. He understood the pain, but not fully. He didn’t understand the extent of your hurt. But he was willing to. “Whenever you’re ready to, I’m right here. Okay?” He murmured. You nodded, wiping your eyes before finally taking a look at him. He looked at you with soft brown eyes, his pink rose-colored lips in a pout. It hurt him just as much to see you this way. There was a sense of understanding of not ever bringing them up ever again as he had previously. If he understood it was this bad, he would’ve kept his mouth shut. You nodded. “Thank you…” You weakly spoke. Your voice was hoarse. It was as if you were a child all over again.

-15 years ago-

After another round of your father screaming at you because your mother had sent in a complaint about your behavior to him, you laid in your pink Princess-themed bed, your blanket close to your chest and mouth to muffle the crying that held them.

Your mother had stepped inside to check in on you. Despite all the abuse, they both had their moments of care. She sat at the end of the bed. You flinch a bit out of anger. You stiffened your sniffles as you tried to collect yourself in front of her out of fear of punishment. “I’m sorry baby… I just wanted you to realize you can’t be making such a mess. Do you understand now?” She whispered, moving your blanket from you, hoping she’d be able to replace it. You nodded, roughly covering your eyes with your hands as you wiped away your tears.

“Yes, Mommy…” You mumbled before she opened her arms out to you.

“Come on…” She begged. You shook your head no. “Oh, so you hate me now?” She blamed you. A child.

“No…” You tried to assure her, without actually knowing. She grew angrier if you didn’t hug her, so you finally sat up and crawled over to her before weakly putting your arms around her.

She held you and rocked you before placing a kiss on the top of your hair. “I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too mommy…”

-current-

After nearly half an hour of crying, you tired yourself out. Tears stopped falling out and Roman sat on the floor the entire time. He nearly suggested everything he could to make you calm down. His head laid down on his couch as he brushed your hair with his hand. “Thank you, Roman…” You said again.

He hushed you, pressing a soft and tender kiss over your forehead. Something you’ve never felt. You’ve been given a kiss on the forehead by your parents and by terrible boyfriends after they had made you cry, but it lacked any love in them.

You felt safe. No matter what, Roman would never abandon you. It eased every thought you ever had. You pulled him tightly, hiding your face into his neck. You didn’t want to let go of him. His body simply had no idea how to react, but once his thoughts settled in, he allowed himself to put his arms around you. “You really love me.” You mumbled, pressing your lips onto his jaw. He nodded. He was happy enough to let you see the amount of love he had for you. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking- ugh- I’m a fucking nut case. I’m just- I’m so grateful for you and everything. Especially today. I really- god. Fuck.” You couldn’t keep yourself together. You pulled away from him, your eyes meeting his. He pressed his head on your lap, looking up at you.

“Alright- alright. Enough with this. It’s getting fucking weird now.” Roman didn’t want to acknowledge himself. You finally allowed yourself to smile. You cupped his cheeks and brought him in for a kiss.

“Can we just- fucking- I don’t know. Just- do whatever we were doing, but not as secret?” You asked. You regretted ever doubting him or his intentions. You can see it now.

“It’s not really secretive anymore…” Roman reminded you. You lightly pushed him, having the strength to even sit up by yourself now. You felt like shit, still, but Roman’s presence kept you afloat.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” You giggled, looking down at him as he was still on the floor. The look he gave you was almost something out of a movie. He was worshiping you. Everything you did. Even at such a vulnerable moment. “Get the fuck up off the floor.” You ordered, giggling through your words.

“I like looking at you from here.” Roman allowed himself to be just as vulnerable as you. You melted at his words. “So, we’re genuinely fucking doing this? You’re not humiliated or anything?” He asked, making sure you wouldn’t back out again if things got hard between the two of you. “Roman- I was never humiliated of you. I just didn’t want what happened to happen, but yes. We’re actually doing this.” His lips curved downwards, suppressing a smile. He stood up, pressing his lips against yours as he hovered above you. His hand rested under your chin as his other dropped down to hold you closer to him. He was glad to finally stop hiding. Instead of holding himself back from being able to show you to others that you were not someone who was available to anyone, but him. Your phone rang, breaking the kiss apart.

‘jess <3’ read on the screen with a picture of the two of you appearing. You were not in the best mood to speak to her, especially since her boss is the reason you had to see your parents once again along with the excessive issues now being brought to you. You reluctantly answered.

“Hey…” You sighed into the phone, Roman finally stopped hovering and took a seat next to you. He laid his back onto the grey modern suede couch as his head rested on your lap. He looked up at you, a sense of comfort washing over him.

“Hi… I just saw the article. Holy fucking- wow. Are you alright?” She asked. You were especially annoyed about the night before. She had been so persistent that Kendall was the good guy. Even after the bullshit he had pulled that night. Roman was still the villain and you were guilty by association.

“Which one? The one where your boss slandered the both of us?” You said in a sassy and clearly annoyed tone.

“Huh? Ken didn’t do that. Come on y/n, I know you’re mad at him, but don’t pin this on him.” She tried to argue with you.

“Oh, so was it you then?” You questioned her. If it wasn’t Kendall, it would only place her as the next only available suspect.

“Oh please. I wouldn’t do that. Don’t do that shit now.” She scoffed at the accusation.

“Well, you and Ken were the only ones aware of the details. Gerri too. But it wouldn’t make sense for Gerri. Why would she want to ruin the company she just got promoted to? So, it’s either the one trying to ruin the company's reputation or you.” You fired. She was aware of it, but she couldn’t believe Kendall was that malicious. “Okay, I get you’re annoyed. But are you aware you both didn’t hide it well?” She tried to reason. You scoffed, not believing how hard she was fighting for Kendall’s innocence. “But to know it happened in Pierce’s is strange, huh?”

“Maybe one of the Pierce’s spilled.”

“Ken knew the details. End of story. You can tell him to fucking watch himself after this. Cause I just went after his neck.” You snapped on the phone. You could feel the eye roll Jess gave you through the phone.

“Calm down. There’s no reason for all that.” It was annoying how much she stood by Kendall rather than her own best friend.

“It is. My name is out there. All my information is. People know me, Jess. Angela and Mick found me. They came to the building!” You were furious, you weren’t even aware that you were screaming into the phone. It was aggravating to hear. Especially after seeing Mick and Angela.

“Oh god… What happened? What’d they do?” Her concern finally kicked in. She never expected it to go that far. “What’d they want?”

“I don’t know. I just ran off.” You mumbled, rubbing your forehead. Jess began to apologize profusely.  “It’s fine… Uh- I’m just trying to relax. But tell Kendall, I hope he enjoys my interview on his shitty attempt.” You said before hanging up. You laid your phone flat on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “What a nightmare…” You said. You felt like you said that all day. You looked down at Roman, a small smile appearing on your lips. You were glad he was here for you. You reached over, grabbed his hand, and held it in yours. “I’m glad you’re here for me…” You expressed. “Yeah- well, you’ve been there for me too.” Roman brushed it off, not wanting to take any credit for it. He played with your dainty fingers, looking down at them as he did. “Can we stop being so fucking sappy already?” He tried to remove himself so all the emotion in the room. “I can get the chef over to make us whatever the fuck you can actually eat.” He suggested. You nodded, pressing a kiss over his forehead.

You both felt safe. Nothing could harm you both. “You know, since people know you now, it’d be time to move in. I could hire some vegan chef for you.” He tried to hint at you. You weren’t sure if it was a hint since it was so blatant. “Roman-“ You didn’t want to have this talk. “One step at a time.” You didn’t want to move in. You weren’t ready for that commitment. It was too fast too soon. “We just made it official. No need to rush.” You reminded him.

It might’ve even made the whole scandal worse too. The older man dragged his younger assistant to move into his house. The media would make this seem like a grooming situation or something easy to twist. When in reality it was just a man with a lot of insecurity and attachment issues. You and Roman decided to have an easy day for the two of you. It was a harsh day for the two of you. A lot of things being brought up and things being dug up. But you both shut your phones off and decided to keep it relaxing. You ignored calls and texts, not wanting to deal with all the drama being spread around.

You both lay on his couch, Roman’s fingers combing through your hair as you decided on the worst movie possible to watch. You had no idea what it would be about other than everyone talking about it. It was just a kind of movie about realities, and it being broken down and multiverse bullshit. Roman interrupted the movie at least a thousand times to make jokes or ask you what was even going on. But it turned into a movie about generational trauma and parental issues, which got to you. You curled into Roman, letting a few tears slip.

“What do you think they even fucking wanted?” Roman interrupted the movie once again. “I think she just wanted to be… oh wait, who?” You asked as you sniffled. “Mick and Angela.” He shrugged. He knew not to call them your mom and dad anymore. “I have no fucking clue.” You mumbled, moving on from it. “Do you think they maybe wanted to check on you or-“ Roman didn’t know what happened between the three of you, but he wanted to understand. If they were so awful, why would they want to see their kid again after so many years? It made you wonder too, but you knew it wasn’t for good reasons. It was probably something stupid.

“No. Roman you may be in contact with your shitty fucking parents-” You were quick to insult. “Woah-okay. They’re not-“ Roman didn’t want this to be switched over to him. “No, they are. Roman your dad knocked your tooth out last month over a joke your sister made.” You couldn’t believe how normal Roman made it in his head that his father had hit him.

“Oh, fuck off- everyone's parents hit them.” He reasoned. He was convinced of it. He was definitely hit the most and Kendall and Shiv were threatened. He wasn’t sure if they ever were hit by Logan. But Logan had told them about his uncle and the abuse Logan faced. Logan was a heavily abused child but didn’t ever see his abuse ever being as bad as his uncles. “Plus, he didn’t mean to. He said he didn’t even think he made contact. So just fuck off. Okay?” You were stunned watching him try to rationalize his abuse. It infuriated you, but you felt too much pity for him. “Roman, I don’t know much, but from what I have heard, it’s not a normal relationship.”

“I don’t think I should take advice from you.” He scoffed. He was 100% in the wrong. He was the one person he should take advice from. As someone who escaped abuse yet him and his siblings were in a repeated cycle of abuse they could never break out of.

“Fucking shut up.” You dismissed him. “Just don’t ask about them.” You put the boundary up. You never wanted to talk heavily about them. Or Roman’s issues. Roman was too far into his cycle, he couldn’t break the cycle. Not yet at least. It was going to take a god sent to ever break Roman out of it.

You both sat there, two broken children damaged by parents to try to fix the scars left from what had been done to one another.

Roman stared as you had moved away, sitting by yourself. “Are you on your period?” He genuinely asked, not knowing it was incredibly offensive to ask.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You wondered out loud.

“I’m just saying! I don’t fucking know. Do you need to sleep or something?” He asked. You just sat, looking off for a bit before nodding. You needed to finally sleep this off. You had been incredibly exhausted from today. Roman just got up, putting his hand for you to hold. You gladly took it, pulling yourself close enough to him. He wasn’t comfortable with his space being taken in a lot, but he knew it was something you needed. He led you up the stairs to his room before getting you to lie down in his bed. He had put the comforter over you before joining you. “You’re gonna be alright. Just- fucking forget those pricks.” He finally said. It was just what you needed to hear at the moment.

You didn’t realize how tired you actually had been before you had gotten into bed. You smothered your face into the pillow and were almost instantly knocked out. You had woken up with Roman gone. You looked around, seeing his side of the bed undone. You took it upon yourself to just get ready before heading downstairs. You saw Roman ready for work, drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up at you, his eyebrows shooting up. “Hey, you snore really fucking loud by the way.” He said as he scrolled through his phone.

“Sorry.” You muttered before making yourself a cup of coffee and sitting with Roman. “I thought you actually needed the sleep.” He admits out loud to you. “Uh- we have to get to the office soon though. Just uh- yeah.” He was reading another article that had dropped but didn’t have the heart to tell you.

Apparently, your parents had gone to the press to speak about your interaction the other day, but insisted you were ‘brainwashed’. He just didn’t want to bring it to your attention. But the article went into a false narrative of how you were such a sweet and loving kid with the most amazing parents who had supported you through college. Only to drift away once you got hired and completely cut contact once you and Roman had gotten together. It was a stunt to get some kind of money out of it. They went into false stories of you as a child to how you tried to say hi, but Roman dragged you away. But photos were scattered as you were screaming and yelling, not helping the case at all. It truly was the most insane thing Roman had seen in a while. Gerri had been blowing his phone up all morning, waking him up.

Meanwhile, you got ready, thankfully you kept one or two outfits at Roman’s or had sent some whenever you needed to. You did your makeup before heading downstairs. You were escorted by a guard with Roman, seeing once again another crowd filling up the building. You gripped Roman, preparing for it again after yesterday. You heard yelling coming your way as they asked about your parents. They asked if you were safe. Why don't speak to your parents? You had not a single clue on how they knew any of this. It was concerning. You looked around, seeing people trying to get your attention. Fuck. Your breathing began to get restricted again as your grip on Roman began to loosen up. You felt weak. Your bones felt as thin as a stick. You thankfully made it into the building safely before sitting down to finally catch your breath. “Someone get her water” Roman announced. Which they quickly did for you. You didn’t have the strength to hold it up yourself so Roman put it up to your lips again and let you sip on the bottle.

You avoided looking at the crowd before going into the elevators. “I can’t handle another day of this.” You laid your head on the metal walls of the elevator, staring as the red numbers got higher and higher til you both were on your floor.

“Where the hell have you two been? It is 12 goddamn in the afternoon. We set for you to go on tv in an hour.” Gerri had come up to the two of you once you had stepped out of the elevator. “What the fuck is going on?” You demanded to know. There was too much secrecy happening. That must’ve been why Roman was so easy on you this morning. He was too soft. He was never that considerate. He always tried to make jokes. But today he was silent. He hadn’t been able to fully look at you unless there was pity.

“Did you not- oh god, fuck.” Gerri huffed. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Uh- let’s go sit down, okay?”

You looked at Roman for some comfort, but he just looked at the floor, pretending to get something out of his eye. You were escorted to Gerri’s new office before the news was dropped. “Your parents went to the media and made some rather big claims. Uh- they said you were a normal kid until you met Roman and they think that because of Roman, you stopped speaking to them and that you cut them off 'cause Roman was grooming and isolating you.” She felt terrible having to say it. “Have you stopped talking to them since Roman?” She had to ask. She needed some context as to why this must’ve happened. Thankfully, but unthankfully, Logan heard the news and let out his frustrations already.

“I hadn’t talked to them in 5 years Gerri. I moved out when I was 17. I refused to talk to them way before I even moved out. This is a bunch of bullshit. Roman, did you know about this?” You knew if he would lie. It was a certain look that gave away when he was uncomfortable. His neck would stretch out, his arms crossed and his face almost light up as if he was pretending to hear something for the first time. He just shrugged. You furrowed your eyebrows before he finally spilled. “Gerri told me… Uh- yeah. I just- I don’t know- fucking you were crying all day and I didn’t wanna make you, you know, crying all day again.” He tried to defend himself. You were just shocked this was dropped on you. This nightmare just got worse and worse.

“It’s going to be okay. We just need you to go on MNN and discredit everything. Just tell your actual truth.” Gerri made it simpler than it was. Even Roman knew it wasn’t easy. You wanted to reject the idea, but you knew this wouldn’t stop unless you did. Your face scrunched up before balling up, your head touching your knees as you began to weep again. “no-no-no-nonononononooooo.” You moaned as you held your head. It was as if a child was hiding in a corner, not wanting to be seen by others. You wished this would stop. You thought they’d finally leave you alone. But it wasn’t going to end for a while. You knew that. You felt Roman’s hands on your shoulders as he tried in some way to be there for you. You could feel the looks of pity on you. This was humiliating for you. But thankfully Gerri’s room was mostly covered. You spent a while crying, being consoled by both Roman and Gerri before you were forced to stop. Gerri thankfully had makeup wipes on her for you to be able to take off the running and disgusting makeup you had cried off. As you wiped the white makeup removed across your face, coloring it with your makeup, you looked over as Gerri spoke. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but we’re gonna have to leave soon. Roman just hold it down for today. Your father wants to speak to you about GoJo. I’ll be with y/n.” She knew it would be a bad look if Roman came. It would seem as if you were being controlled. Everything you did had to be calculated. You waved off to Roman before seeing texts from Jess, wondering if you were alright. An idea came. What if you weren’t the only one dismissing it? “What if I brought Jess to the interview?” You asked Gerri on your way out of the building. “She knows what happened. If it isn’t just me saying it and also Kendall’s assistant, it would give validity to my story, wont it?” You tried to convince her. But she was in as soon as you brought it up. You rang up Jess. She obviously answered. “What are you doing right now?” You asked her.

“Uh- nothing right now. Kendall is uh- busy.” She tried to cover up the fact he was off doing drugs right now. He seemed to be even more addicted to it than ever and his behavior truly showed it.

“Come do the interview with me. Please. My parents went to the news. And if-“ You were ready to beg, but Jess wouldn’t resist ever help you out. “Send me the address. I’ll be there.” She hung up. Gerri gave a pleased smile, knowing this would turn out perfectly.

You had texted her the building's address, putting your phone away, and touching up your makeup. You decided on just some blush and mascara, hoping you wouldn’t cry. But it was a possibility. And you weren’t willing to be a laughingstock. Jess had kept on her word and met you in the lobby of the building. She rushed over, hugging you tightly. You held her as if she were the blanket you used to hold for comfort as a child. You took in every bit of her to feel a bit safe, especially without Roman around.

“Come on. It’s gonna be okay…” She whispered. You let go, looking at her one last time before going up the elevator. Gerri tried to walk you through it. But it barely registered. Everyone in the world would now know you as the abuse victim. You weren’t ready, but you had to be. Your reputation was being dragged anyways. You walked onto the set, being met with other assistants who were willing to accommodate you. You were told you’d be on in just 10 minutes. “Uh- my friend is willing to do the interview with me. She knows everything.” You tried to talk to a producer who had been passing by. He took a look at her, then at you, ready to reject your request. “She’s also Kendall’s assistant.” You blurted. That sounded like money and views to them, so it was allowed. Jess would then be bumped to go before you. You were willing to send them over old photos of you that would be popped up on the screen. Soon the interview would start. Jess gave your hand a squeeze before deciding to go up onto the set.

“Hello. We have Jess Jordan here today. Assistant of Kendall Roy and College friend and ex-roommate of y/n y/l/n.” The announcer said as a photo came up on the screen of the televisions plastered around the set. “It is unexpected to see you. Thank you for coming on.” They smiled over at her. “Thank you for having me.” Jess politely smiled back. “So, you were friends with y/n for how long now?” They asked. They were one of the most popular news people in the world. They had interviewed past presidents, congressmen, businessmen, and celebrities. It was intimidating just looking at them. “We had known each other since y/n started college. We went to Fordham together and were paired up as roommates. Uh- yeah. When I met her, she was pretty much what every 18-year-old was. But I don’t know, she had something else about her that made her just glad to be around her. Like we just instantly clicked. She’s essentially like my sister now. It’s probably been 4 or 5 years now?”

“Oh lovely. And when you met her, did you ever meet her parents?” They asked Jess.

Jess shook her head no. There was the pitiful look again. So much sadness for something that didn’t happen to them. But sadness that they had to know such people existed. “Uh no. Y/n never talked about them. Honestly, it took her a while before telling me she didn’t even speak to them.” She thought it would be better to break the ‘my parents abused me’ story than you. “Oh, well they said she had stopped speaking to them. Are you saying that’s not true?” They asked a bit taken aback by Jess’s response. “Yeah, that’s completely wrong. Y/n had told me she cut contact since she was 16. I mean once I heard all the things they put her through, I mean, I’m shocked she lasted that long even talking to them.” Jess was worried about how much to say. But it would be an easier TV appearance for you.

“So, you have never met them?” They tried to understand. Jess just nodded. “Nope. Even while moving in. She carried those boxes in every day that week by herself. But it’s not like she doesn’t have anyone. Luckily my mom and dad were willing to take her in as their own. Again, she’s literally exactly like a sister to me. Even with all the fighting and bickering and yelling and punches, we could never be mad at each other. It’s almost as if we were kids again.” She wanted to put an emphasis on how much of a lost childhood you had. “My parents gave her everything a child needed and wanted.”

“Wow. Well, that’s very heartwarming. Let’s bring her out then.” They announced your appearance. Every step matched your heartbeat. It was as if everything was slowing down but going extremely fast all at once. You felt the lights on you beaming and the immense pressure was put back on you. You just put a fake smile on before greeting the newscaster and taking a seat closer to them. “Hi. It’s nice to finally meet the new girl on the block.” They joked. But you had to laugh it off. It was extremely offending to you, but you couldn’t show it or else you’d be a bitch all over the internet.

“Uh- Hi. Thank you for having me and letting me speak.” You were thankful that you were able to dismiss these claims, just wished it never happened. “Well first off, how are you doing?” They checked in. You took a deep breath, nodding as you tried to pick an answer. You decided with honesty. “Well- I’ve been a lot better. It’s been a rough two days. But I’m hoping I could end it here today.” You allowed yourself to genuinely smile a bit.

“Good, I’m glad we could do that for you. Uh- so I guess I’ll jump into it, huh? Jess just told us you hadn’t spoken to your parents in over 5 years now. What happened there?” “Uh- wow. Uh well, it was a lot of things honestly. They weren’t the greatest parents honestly. They really enforced the idea in me that not everyone should be parents. And they really shouldn’t have been.” You were realistic.

“What do you mean by that?” “They were uhm- I’m sorry…” You began to tear up. The newscaster grabbed a tissue out of the tissue box and handed it off to you.

“It’s alright. Take your time…” They tried to keep you calm enough. You were now the victim. Not the abuser like your parents stated.

“No-no. It’s okay. I’m ready to talk about it now. Well so, wow. Sorry.” You uncomfortably laughed as you tried to wipe the tears wielding up in your eyes. You blotted them before continuing. “Okay so, uhm- well- they were extremely emotionally and physically abusive. I must’ve gotten in trouble twice a day for something. Uhm, they used a lot of physical ‘discipline’ if you could call it that, and a lot of physiological torment to get back at me.” You were trying to be as non-descriptive as possible.

“Can you give us an example?” They asked. You nodded. “Uhm so, one time when I was 6 I had broken a doll of mine, so when I told them they responded with- oh- sorry…” Your voice cracked as your face started to scrunch up. “They essentially broke all my toys because I didn’t know how to play with them, so I didn’t deserve them. And essentially hit me with whatever they were throwing around and-and-uhm…” Your hands shook. Jess reached over, holding your hand to keep you calm. “Please- take your time if you need to.” The newscaster began to try to console you. “I’m okay. I swear. Uhm this is just the first time I’ve spoken about this in a bit. So, yeah. They hit me a lot. If you check records, if they’re possible, CPS came over a lot. I was starved, I was overfed then to be humiliated. I was forced to cut my hair really short. I wasn’t being taken care of. They sent me to school with no supplies or clean clothes. They said I was a waste of money and space. Uhm- then…” You began to fully cry again. You covered your face as you had accidentally let tears come out. “I’m sorry…” You apologized to everyone. Everyone in the interview, the room, the company, Roman, and whoever was watching this. “So uhm- someone had uhm- uh- sexually abused me when I was younger. And when I got old enough… my mom and dad said I seduced him… and asked for it… And it was my fault…” Your voice quivered, unable to look up at the camera or anyone for that matter. Jess leaned in as far as possible to rub your back. “When I was a kid a lot of it was just psychological, but once I got older it became a lot more physical and verbal. So, uh… when I was 16, I got a job. Made my own money. Got my own food, bought my own things. And at 17, I stopped speaking to them fully. So, when I finally was out of high school, I couch-surfed for a while. Then I got an email telling me I got accepted to Fordham and I just- I fled. I blocked their numbers. Got a new phone and moved on.” You went into details finally. It was the first time you fully went into detail about a lot of it. “I’m sorry for crying…” you apologized once more, taking another tissue to keep your appearance up.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s just your parents told other sources a lot of other details. They had said they just finally wanted to make peace…” They tried to explain the reason for all of this, more so for the audience than you. “What did you think they wanted yesterday?” They asked. You shrugged. “Well- not to jump into this so quickly. But they had actually agreed to meet and try to fix the broken relationship.” They slowly eased you in. Your head snapped, looking around as if you were a deer being chased by a pack of lions.

“What?” You asked before seeing your parents coming in. You looked around for help only seeing Gerri giving you a pitiful look. This sudden ambush sent an internal flame around you. You wanted to hear what they had to say. An older familiar couple took a seat on the other side of the stage of you, looking at you pleading. It was all a show. They were phenomenal at acting. All the best narcissists are.

“Thank you for joining us. What do you have to say to y/n claims?” They asked. “It was lovely for you to bring us on to finally get us to reconnect with her. We had been trying to for such a long time…” Angela pretended. You looked at her with a hatred that could be read through any screen.

“Our daughter…” Mick started before you cut them off.

“I’m not your daughter. Isn’t that what you told me after I snuck food into my room? Or when I missed a homework assignment. Or when I just-“ You continued to name innocent things off before Mick wanted to regain the control.  

“You’re still my baby girl sweetheart. I know we weren’t great, but you know those aren’t true. We just want you safe home.” Mick was trying to lay it on thick.

“No, you don’t. What was this all for? Huh? Be honest for once in your life. Please.” Your tone was harsh and coarse. “Honey- please. You know this isn’t all true…” Angela tried to gain sympathy from the audience. “Why else would we run to your job after seeing a man 15 years older than you? We’re worried. Please.” “Don’t. If you wanted to contact me, you could’ve contacted the college. You could’ve found me in multiple ways. Instagram is another way.” You gave out good points. “Seriously. After years of hitting me and punching me and locking me in closets, why would you come now? Is it the attention? The money? Well? What is it?” You tried your best to not raise your voice. “Should we also bring in my elementary school teachers here? Well? Or the CPS workers?” You tried to antagonize them, but they wouldn’t budge.

“You know that’s not true.” Mick tried to say again. All you could do was laugh. They grew angrier and their mask started to slip.

“No seriously. Tell me. What was it? Why did you hate your kid so much? Huh? Is it because Angela had to quit college? Or that you had to be stuck with her? Because you had to leave college early and get a worthless job? Hm? Are you mad I did everything on my own? I raised myself. Okay? You didn’t. Angela was high. You were high. You both were absolute drunks and addicts. I fed myself. And when you found out, you hit me so hard that I had to miss a week of school! Oh, and god forbid I ask for a toy. At Goodwill! A $3 doll! Oh yeah. I remember that. I had to miss the neighbor's pool party because we couldn’t show them the bruises. Or when your fucking brother touched me! Oh, but it’s my fault. An 8-year-old girl walking in just shorts because all her shirts were dirty was asking for it. Fuck you. Fuck Angela. And fuck Liam.” You stormed off set. Your parents just watched, showing everyone that they were frauds while Jess ran after you.  It was oddly therapeutic to finally stand up to them and tell them everything. To finally confront them. It felt freeing. You went to Gerri as you three rushed out of there.

Gerri got message after message from the PR team about the response. It was overwhelmingly good. Multiple children abuse victims related and sympathized. They were able to see through the façade immediately while the general public only could see it after your outburst. It was all over social media. But this only meant more people digging up things about you. Fuck.

Notes: Self care is important.

Chapter 20

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 18

Everyone wave bye-bye to Allison. She’s off to start her life anew in Indy. And Lucas has some thoughts on the matter.

Edited to Add: Shit, shit, shit! I thought I changed that. Max is still in the hospital and doesn’t meet Allison here. Shit! Updated to reflect that.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15  Part 16  Part 17

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Steve decided after that they would need to throw a party to introduce his mother to the rest of the Party because Dustin bursting in like that did not make for a happy Steve.

His anxiety had shot up the second Dustin pushed Eddie. Of course Allison smoothed it over like she always does, but Steve didn’t want a repeat. And they both had a good reason to celebrate.

Steve had bought the house that she had pointed out and Allison Harrington was now Allison Kincaid once again. Harold didn’t have a leg to stand on, so much so that he had gone through three separate lawyers before he gave up and let her have whatever she wanted.

She got the house and immediately turned around and turned into a safe house for battered women seeking her help to divorce their horrible husbands.

Allison had then bought a nice penthouse suite in Indy. Steve had tried to convince her to stay in Hawkins but it wasn’t her home anymore. It was Steve’s though and he deserved to have that life without her shadow looming over him.

But she promised she’d call and visit often. So this was a housewarming, divorce, good-bye party all rolled into one.

Before the party started Steve corralled everyone in the front room, before letting them enjoy the first really warm day of the year by splashing around in his brand new pool.

Wayne, Robin, Eddie, and Dustin stood on the outskirts of the room while Steve stood in the middle of the room.

“Why can’t we just go into the pool?” Erica whined.

Steve’s lip curled. “Because there is someone else here that I want you guys to meet but I need to explain some things first before you do. Because it could be very disastrous otherwise.”

Mike looked at Eddie and then back to Steve. “Is this about the lady I saw you with at the store the other day?”

Steve blushed. “Yeah, it is.”

“You seemed really friendly with her...” Mike said suspiciously.

He laughed. “God I hope so! She’s my mom.”

The room erupted in a roar of disbelief and anger. Steve whistled long and loud and suddenly the room was so quiet it was almost as deafening as their roar.

“And this is why I wanted to talk to you all first,” he said. “She thought I was fine because my dad lied to her. She had been building up a divorce case for the past four years and didn’t know about all the shit that was going on.”

“And you believed her?” Mike asked with an eye roll.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’ve clearly never met my mother. When she saw the wound on my neck, I thought she was going to murder my dad right there in the front hall.”

“Are you sure, Steve?” Nancy asked, timidly. “She should have been here for the first concussion at the very least.”

There were some murmurs of agreement that skittered across the room.

Steve nodded. “Dad kept that all from her. He thought I wasn’t as bad they said because clearly I was just doing it for attention.”

Will’s eyes went wide. “Just how much did he hate you?”

“Far too much,” a calm voice said from the doorway.

All the heads in the room turned to see the most striking woman they had ever seen. Her long dark brown hair was artfully arranged on her head. Her makeup was flawless, but designed to highlight her age and not hide it.

She wore a simple black one-piece swimsuit with a billowing white robe.

The boys’ jaws were on the floor, as El and Erica looked at Steve in shock.

Steve ducked to hide the fond smile that came to his lips when he saw his mom these days.

Allison made her way to stand next to Steve and kissed his cheek. “I know it’s hard to believe, but everything he told you is true.” She whispered, “I hope you don’t mind me taking the floor?”

Steve shook his head. He knew that he probably would have started doubting her if she hadn’t come to his rescue.

“And it’s Allison Kincaid now,” she said warmly. “I went back to my maiden name after the divorce.”

Joyce shook her head. “I told you not to marry that knucklehead, Ally.”

Allison giggled. “And you married Lonnie, darling. Pot meet kettle.”

Joyce laughed. “Fair!”

“I see you’ve made a significant upgrade, Joyce dear,” Allison teased, nodding to Hopper who blushed a deep red.

“I think we all made decisions in our youth that were bad,” Hopper said. “But they made us who we are and we wouldn’t have our kids without those mistakes.”

As all the adults looked fondly at their children.

Steve cleared his throat. “But you aren’t here for that sentimental bullshit, you’re here for a brand new pool, good food, and fun.”

Allison smacked his shoulder and then kissed his cheek again. She walked out with Mike, Lucas, and Dustin following her movements with their heads.

El just rolled her eyes.

“Go on, you menaces,” Steve said, shooing them toward the pool. Everyone stood up and rushed toward the back where Allison had gone, leaving behind Eddie and Steve.

“That could have gone better,” Steve sneered.

Eddie pulled him close. “They’re just looking out for you, sweetheart. I know it’s hard to see that right now when you’re still riding the high of getting her back after all this time. For you it’s a god damn miracle. For them it’s suspicious that she came back after you moved a rather large sum from the account your parents setup to one of your own.”

Steve snorted. “Oh that’s why Dad came home, no question.”

Eddie smiled and kissed the top of Steve’s head. “Good to see you’re not totally blinded by this whole thing.”

“If they had given me time to explain,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s chest, “that she was taking the money she got from Dad in the divorce and moving to Indy, maybe they wouldn’t have been so skeptical.”

Eddie held him tighter. That right there was the only reason that Wayne and he didn’t close ranks when she showed up on their doorstep. That she had deliberately stayed elsewhere, talked about the divorce in very specific terms, didn’t fawn herself over Steve. She approached Steve like she would a spooked deer and that’s why Eddie was team Allison.

“Let’s go party!” Eddie said with a grin.

Steve laughed and followed his boyfriend out to the pool.

*

If anyone still had doubts about Allison’s sincerity it vanished with how Joyce treated her.

Apparently they had run in the same circles in high school and easily fell back into the old grooves of their prior relationship.

Even Nancy and Mike were charmed by her by the time they left to go home.

Allison had pulled Nancy aside and talked her about being a mom and having a career and that it didn’t have to be an either or. That she could have roots and wings if she wanted. Allison admitted that she hadn’t done right by Steve the last few years but she had seen the good a right balance to bring to both mother and her children.

Allison loved talking with the Byers boys, really getting to know Joyce’s kids. El was a little shier with Allison, until the older woman had complimented her style and then El just opened up like a flower.

“It’s good for El to see other kinds of femininity,” Joyce said to Hopper later that evening. “That she doesn’t have to be one way or the other. She can like pretty clothes and still kick ass.”

Hopper chuckled. “She’ll definitely get that from Ally,” he agreed.

Dustin managed to get Allison away from El long enough to do his own talking her ear off. Steve smiled when she laughed brightly at something he told her.

Robin had settled into an easy relationship with her since they had gone house hunting together. Robin had come out to her and Allison was able to help her overcome some of her nerves of talking to pretty girls.

Erica got into a heated debate with her over the better fantasy series Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, one that Eddie was drawn into almost against his will.

Erica was for Narnia and Allison and Eddie were for the Shire and Middle Earth.

It really looked like Erica might win when Allison pulled out her best argument: the trouble with Susan. And Erica folded like a house of cards.

Steve laughed when Erica came to him pouting.

“What did you think was going to happen?” Steve asked her. “You went up against one of the best courtroom lawyers of her age.”

Erica made a face. “Then I’m going to become a lawyer and come back and win next time.”

“You be sure and tell her that,” Steve said, knowing his mother would be proud that she had inspired Erica in such a way.

Erica grinned up at him and ran off to just that.

The only one that seem to hang back was Lucas. So Steve went to go check on him.

“Hey, you okay?”

Lucas let out a huff. “How can you forgive her, man? Like I get she didn’t know, but she also wasn’t home. She could have spent time home with you, actually getting to know you instead of running around the world chasing your dad.”

“Ah.”

That was a fair question and Lucas deserved an honest answer. He pressed his lips together and then licked them. “It’s not easy. There is a big part of me that is so sure that once she’s in Indy she’ll forget I exist. Because you’re right. She didn’t have to rely on my dad for information, but she did anyway. So I guess it comes down to faith I guess.”

“That’s lame,” Lucas bit out. “You shouldn’t have to have faith that someone will love you.” He ran his hands over his face and sighed. “I don’t know, man. A big part of it is knowing that she’s paid to be charming and put people at ease. She wouldn’t be a good lawyer otherwise.”

Steve nodded. “I know. And it’s okay if you don’t like her. It’s okay if you don’t trust her. I’m not going to make you. But you won’t know for sure unless you get to know her.”

Lucas sighed again. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Steve chuckled and said, standing up, “She’s a Bulls fan. You can start there.” He winked at Lucas’s open-mouthed stare and walked back to the group.

The sun had gone down so people had gotten dressed and were now dancing underneath the stars to Eddie playing his guitar.

Turns out Eddie was pretty good at slow songs, too.

***

Part 19  Part 20

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