#i hope everyone has a decent day :) thanks again for reading

[rashomonss]

I couldn't stop thinking about this after reading your "Readjusting" hc

Imagine that the reason MC started acting like a "proper" attendant was because Barbatos couldn't stand how improper and casual Mc was with the brothers. He decides to take her under his wing but he isn't gentle about it, not even when it becomes clear that MC is human, on the contraire, he becomes harsher with his methods until even the brothers notice. Meanwhile MC could be in the state of mind to believe that they deserve to be treated in such ways because they feel guilty over letting everyone assume they were a demon

Also think about how this treatment would affect MC relationship with Barbatos. Imagine MC slipping up in front of him and immediately tensing and starting to apologize. How scared MC would be of even the thought of doing something NB!Barbatos though them was wrong and undignified of her to do/say as the brothers attendant.

And how heartbroken OM!Barbatos would be at seeing MC be so terrified of him.

so I’m currently deep diving thru my drafts and inbox and this was from forever ago so I’m so sorry I’m only getting it done now (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, )

anyway oh. my. god.

i absolutely love this idea! the angst potential this ask has is literally to die for. i’ll be incorporating a few of my readjusting ideas as well and yeah i know nightbringer didn’t go in this direction but im going in it anyway, so i hope yall enjoy! (๑>؂•̀๑)

you’re nothing more and nothing less

You admired yourself in the mirror then stared at the reflection looking back at you. 

Sighing you gave yourself a small smile, then remembered his words before giving yourself one last look in the mirror. 

“You really do look decent when you know how to clean up.” 

An attendant is supposed to look sharp, and presentable no matter the circumstance. They are a direct representation of who they’re serving. How was a noble demon supposed to take the seven rulers of hell seriously if their attendant didn’t even know how to properly dress or present themselves? 

Your tie had to be perfectly crisp and presentable, same with the cuffs of your uniform; not a wrinkle should be present. Next, your preferred uniform bottom was ironed with no wrinkle in sight, and your shoes shined to the point you could see your reflection. Each plead and fold was sharp, crisp, and perfect.

Your hair looked presentable and you carried out your normal face routine making sure you looked awake and ready for the day. Finally, you organized your belongings and sat them by your table in a neat fashion ready to be grabbed once you headed off to RAD. 

You then made your way to the kitchen and prepared breakfast for everyone as well as coffee and tea for those who usually required it. 

As you were finishing up most of the food Beel walked into the kitchen heading straight for the fridge. “Morning MC,” he said catching his breath. 

“Good Morning Beel, how was your run? Also, your snack is on the counter so please refrain from eating anything in the fridge,” you replied, as you continued cooking. 

“Oh thank you.” he smiled while closing the fridge. As he sat at the counter watching you cook he couldn’t help but become confused at the sight. “Wasn’t it Levi’s turn to make breakfast this morning?” 

“It was but he stayed up late last night, and I had a feeling he would oversleep so I took the liberty of making it myself. Not to worry though because I have nothing against cooking for all of you” 

Beel frowned in response “Yeah but this is the third day in a row you’ve prepared breakfast and dinner” 

“Is it now? Well I have no problems with it unless the rest of you do, I am your attendant after all.”

Beel stopped eating and frowned again, “MC you’re an exchange student from the human realm. You’re back home; there’s no reason for you to still act as our attendant.”

You didn’t respond, instead you finished up the food and began to plate each brothers breakfast. Beel tried to speak again but you cut him off.

“Apologies but could you do me a favor and wake up your brothers for breakfast? I wouldn’t want them to be late for classes.”

Beel gave you a sympathetic look and nodded just before leaving the kitchen.

You did stop to think about his words though. After all everything that happened in the past didn’t need to be continued in the present, you could go back to living how you normally did before.

The only problem was that you didn’t know how to go back to that carefree lifestyle. After being on edge constantly while being stuck in the past you found yourself adapting to that lifestyle. So breaking it all of a sudden was much harder than everyone understood.

Humans are adaptable creatures, they adapt and survive to whatever environment they are thrown into, no matter the circumstances; at least that’s how he explained it.

He drilled it into your head that if you wanted to survive against the best of the best you needed to be superior in every way. It didn’t matter to him if you were a demon or human, neither was an acceptable excuse for not being absolutely perfect.

This mindset had been engraved into your soul during the small time period you were there, so for everyone to just tell you to forget about it was something you couldn’t do even if you tried. They all needed to accept that this was how you were now; and maybe with due time you’ll revert back to your old self.

Numerous voices could be heard in the dining room causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You sighed and then took a deep breath before walking into the room with everyone’s plates.

“Good morning everyone, how’s are all of you?” You asked placing plates in front of each brother at the table.

“Mornin’ MC, I’m fine how are ya?” Mammon said yawning.

“I’m good thank you for asking, but I would be even better if you fixed your tie and shirt” you smiled, placing his food in front of him.

“Dah you sound like Lucifer…” he groaned. It did work however because he buttoned up his shirt and tightened his tie before eating, to which you smiled at him in response.

“That goes for all of you as well, fix your uniforms please.” you said, placing the last plate in Lucifer’s spot. Each groaned and fixed themselves as well before they began to eat.

A laugh was then heard from the doorway which made you look up in response. The oldest then greeted you with a kiss to the cheek before sitting down.

“I see your keeping them on a tighter leash than I am.” Lucifer said looked up at you.

“Well of course. How is anyone supposed to take the seven of you seriously when you don’t even wear the uniform properly.” The room fell silent and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Thank you MC, but you realize that you don’t have to worry about our images anymore. You know your home correct..? You don’t have to continue being our attendant.”

You sighed then spoke after a few minutes. “Thank you for your concern I appreciate it, but if you’ll excuse me I have to get the dishes clean”

“Wait you’re not having breakfast with us dear?” Asmo asked worried.

“You haven’t eaten with us at all since you came back. Come on MC, please?” Satan then said.

“I appreciate the concern but I already ate. Thank you for the offer though, I do appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“As their attendant you should not be eating with them unless permitted on a special occasion. It’s basic etiquette as a servant to eat in the kitchen. So you will eat when I eat. Understand?”

That phrase popped in you head again and you sighed heading towards the kitchen.

. . .

The walk to RAD was normal, for you at least, the brothers were a different story entirely.

They tried engaging with you or even walking next to you but you stayed silent and walked behind them.

Normally you’d walk at the same pace and would engage in any kind of small talk but ever since you returned walks to a from RAD had been awkward for the brothers.

Barbatos never walked next to Diavolo, and he taught you to do the same with the brothers.

“You aren’t from the same status, so you should take your place behind them as a result.”

That phrase played in your head as Mammon talked to you about his latest new scheme. You realized that he was walking at the same pace you were so you slowed down ever so slight and engaged in a bit of small talk with him.

The second born frowned as he saw you retreating again, so with a sigh he finished talking and walked a bit faster to catch up with the eldest.

You could see them shorting you glances and whispering to each other but neither said a word to you.

You understood they probably weren’t a fan of this behavior either, but it’s not as if you could break it anytime soon, after all what would he think if you were acting casual with everyone again?

. . .

“Good morning MC” Barbatos spoke, smiling as he slightly waved at you.

Upon seeing him your posture straightened up and you immediately greeted him back with a wave and a nod, in the same fashion he greeted you with. You held eye contact for a brief moment then looked over towards Lucifer.

“I believe we should head out now. There’s paperwork to be done. It was lovely running into you but we’ll be on our way now” you said to the butler.

Before he even had a chance to respond you grabbed Lucifer and dragged him through the hall leaving a confused Barbatos alone in the hallway.

Lucifer tried to question you about your behavior towards the butler but you always avoided talking about it.

Diavolo tried his hand as well and you had given him the same excuse you gave Lucifer. Sighing, the two decided to talk to you over tea instead, hoping that it might calm the mood.

So you followed Lucifer into the council room where Diavolo sat, waiting with a smile. The minute you saw him you smiled back, but soon tensed when Barbatos appeared behind him.

“Sit down MC” Diavolo gestured as soon as you reached the table.

You bowed slightly and did as you were told, making sure to keep yourself in line while Barbatos was present.

Barbatos from the past despised when you were casual with Lord Diavolo and shut down your relationship with him the second he took you as an apprentice.

As Diavolo began to speak you listened attentively and sat up straight making sure to hold eye contact just as Barbatos had instructed you to do before

“MC…” he started. “I understand that it's taken you awhile to try and readjust to everything again, and while we don’t want to pester your progress we do want to talk to you about a few things.”

Were you in trouble? Your heart sank to your stomach as you gripped your uniform bottoms under the table.

“What can I help you with then?” You asked.

“Well for starters you needn’t be so tense, we’re close after all! It’s okay to let loose around us” Diavolo smiled as he gestured towards Lucifer who nodded in response.

“I thank you for your concern, and I will try to relax as you asked” you then nodded.

Your formal response tugged at a frown on Diavolo’s face. “Thank you, now then let’s enjoy some tea.” he said, trying to quickly change the subject.

You froze on the spot as Barbatos brought out the cart of tea and a few snacks. Immediately you jumped up and helped him set the table, much to everyone’s surprise.

“MC, you can leave it to me.” Barbatos said after a moment.

“I understand” you nodded yet still continued picking up the tray of snacks and placing plates in front of Lucifer and Diavolo.

After you finished you stepped behind Barbatos, almost as if you were his shadow. With a sigh he turned to you and tried to ask you to sit back down but you refused.

So instead he tried to guide you to your seat and you stepped away from him in response, the further you took a step back the closer he took a step forward. It wasn’t until you hit the snack cart had you realized how close the two of you were.

However that was short lived as the dish holding the sugar fell off the cart and shattered on the floor the moment you hit it.

Your eyes went wide in horror and you fell to the floor to clean it up in an instant, muttering to yourself silently.

“MC, are you-“

“I’m so sorry, Lord Diavolo, I'll clean this up right away. Please forgive me” you said swiftly picking up the shattered glass and trying your best to clean everything.

“It’s okay, don’t worry it was an accident” Diavolo said as he got up to make sure you were okay.

You shook your head as you went back to cleaning. You were positive Barbatos was going to kill you, he made sure to let you know if you ever messed up in Lord Diavolo’s presence.

So when his figure loomed over you your body tensed with fear as you looked up at him. However his expression didn’t match what you assumed it would’ve been.

He looked concerned and bent down to inspect your hands, hoping there wasn’t any blood due to the shards of glass from the dish.

You immediately retracted your hand when you noticed a cut and Barbatos stiffened.

“I’ll clean this up right away, excuse me” you said as you jumped to your feet and ran out of the council room, leaving three very confused and concerned demons behind.

As the door flew open when you left Solomon walked in with a bewildered look as you rushed out. “What happened? Is everything okay?” He asked as his eyes followed your figure rushing down the hall.

“It’s MC,” Lucifer sighed.

“What about them?” Solomon questioned.

“Long story short they were helping Barbatos and dropped the sugar then bolted out of the room in a panic when Barbatos grabbed their hand to see if they were okay.” Diavolo said with a sigh.

“Ah, that explains things then.” Solomon nodded. “And Barbatos I would refrain from touching or even being near MC for the time being”

“And why is that?” Barbatos questioned with a frown.

“Because MC is probably still on edge after serving alongside you in the past. Let’s just say your methods weren’t exactly…ideal, for a human.” He sighed.

His heart broke upon hearing those words. Barbatos frowned upon learning he was the reason for their rigid behavior and unwillingness to open up to him or Lord Diavolo again.

“I understand,” he sighed.

“If we just talk to MC I’m sure they’ll understand-“ Diavolo started.

“You can, but they haven’t changed their behavior with the brothers so I doubt they change it now. I’ll talk to them when I see them again” Solomon sighed.

Lucifer made a sour expression upon hearing Solomon’s words, mainly because he knew they were true. After all he had spoken to MC countless times yet nothing has changed.

Solomon handed a few papers to Diavolo who read over them in surprise. “Cocytus Hall? That place hasn’t been used in ages, and you wish to move in there?”

“Yes, well Mc and I.” He nodded. “All the paperwork should be there if you’ll allow it”

Lucifer shot the sorcerer a glare and shook his head. “Is that really necessary? That’s quite the opposite of having MC adapt back to the present”

“On the contrary I didn’t suggest this. They did, and if it's what they want I don’t mind indulging my sweet apprentice” He smiled.

The three frowned at Solomon’s words. No matter how annoyed he made them, they all agreed that he was the only one you talked to like normal.

It wasn’t fair that he was the only one that got that attention from you. After a few more minutes of going back and forth Diavolo finally approved the idea, much to Lucifer’s protests.

It was just a thought but Diavolo hoped that if he did this you would eventually come back to them, and not the you that was terrified and uptight, he missed the carefree human who could brighten up the room.

With a sigh the room fell silent as Solomon left, all three demons were running out of ideas and the longer you avoided them the more painful it had become.

How long were they supposed to stay like this? They all wondered with tense sighs.

[brain--drop]

Creepypasta First Kiss Headcanons (PT 1)

It's been 84 years oml-// Includes: Jeff The Killer | Eyeless Jack | Ben Drowned

Jeff:

Although he'd never admit it, Jeff was beyond nervous for your first kiss as the two of you were lying down on the roof of a shed you'd spend the night at during your journey of getting back to the mansion.

It seemed to be set up perfectly. The chilly air of the night bringing the two of you closer for warmth, the sky clear to view the stars and the full moon. Ambience of crickets and no other distractions.

All it took was for Jeff to glance at you, seeing the moonlight cast lights and shadows to your face, and for you catch him staring that he leans in and plants a short and quick kiss on your lips.

"That...that was stupid. Stupid and gross. Forget it-"

As he sits up to get off the roof and leave, he stops when he feels your hand grab onto his hoodie sleeve. Your mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out as you grow flustered from the moment. Jeff raises an eyebrow and lifts your chin up to look at him, unable to hide a laugh from seeing your face.

"So I wasn't reading the signs wrong. You're just as stupid as me."

He laughs more at your offended reaction, cutting you off mid annoyed ramble as he kisses you again, longer and more sternly. Both of you definitely complain in sync once you get inside the shed to sleep on why you stayed outside kissing in the cold for so long afterwards.

EJ:

Not as romantic as the two of you hoped as it was when Jack was bandaging up your arm, having been slashed during training. Or really just a full on brawl as nearly everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning and choose to vent their frustrations.

Much to Jack's efforts in getting you out of the crossfire of violence, you still ended up getting hurt after getting a cut from Toby's axe swinging. Now, much to your efforts of reassuring him, Jack still had an irritated but worried look on his face judging from his knitted eyebrows.

"I don't like using unnecessary force, but I should've moved you out the way faster. Thank whoever's out there that it wasn't serious but it could've been worse and-"

Next thing he knows, his mouth is being silenced by warmth and he realizes it was your lips against his. When you pull back, the shocked silence between the two of you is enough to fluster you both completely.

More silence follows as he finishes patching you up and you end up leaving the makeshift med bay of the mansion with a quiet thanks.

You spend the rest of the day in fear you took it too far until it was the dead of night when a knock at your door disrupts your thoughts. Opening it, you see Jack make his way inside and cups your face in his hands as he closes the door with his foot.

"Let's try that one more time, my brain is working again."

Ben:

It's as cute and awkward as you can imagine it to be. Ben spends days, weeks even, to work up the courage to make the first move and kiss you. By this point, every creep in the mansion is annoyed at his nervous rants to them as he looks for advice and tells him to get on with it.

It took Jeff to half jokingly tell him "he'd do it if he doesn't" for him to get it together and follow through that night, mood and timing be damned.

Fortunately for his racing heart, you wanted nothing more than to have a simple movie night which involved Chicken Little.

While you were seemingly engrossed in the film, Ben's mind was running a mile a minute as he did every trick in the book. Scooting closer to you, wrapping a blanket around you two, yawning and putting his arm around your shoulder. Even he has to admit it was cringe.

His nerves got the best of him when he was trying to find a decent moment in the movie when it didn't matter if it was watched or not as he turns his head and sees you looking right at him because of his anxious behavior.

"...fuck it, I'm dead anyways."

He wastes no time presses his lips against yours, any tension in your bodies flooding away with the warmth as it becomes more comfortable. That is until you both hear the loud sound from the movie of the pig hitting the vending machine to which you pull away laughing. Grabbing the remote, Ben lowers the volume before leaning in again.

"Eh, we've already seen it. This is better though."

[theaskywalker]

hi, it's me again! I wanted to ask something that's a bit less fluff if that's okay:)

(idk if you do smut, couldn't find anything about that, so sorry if you don't)

I was thinking Seth clearwater and fem!reader

(again soz)

having a honeymoon! like Bellas but, little longer and softer

(Because has a soft boy and I love him for that. would love for him to break the bed if you put that in there:)

thank you for reading and drink water and go cute a tasty snack!

(You could do Jacob black with this to if you would like I've read all the good Fics of both and can't get enough of them:( .)

Honeymoon

Seth Clearwater x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is my first time writing smut so I hope it turned out decent. A big thank you to ghosty-boo-shh for the request 😊

Warnings: Mentions of oral sex (fem!receiving), Unprotected sex

❥ Seth Clearwater had always been a romantic at heart.

❥ When he first imprinted on you, he spent hours fantasizing about important relationship milestones such as moving in together, getting married and starting your own family.

❥ He desperately wanted all of these.

❥ If it was up to Seth, the two of you would get married right after your relationship became official.

❥ But you wanted to take the relationship one step at a time and he respected that.

❥ Fast forward to your two-year anniversary, when Seth decided that it was finally time to make you Mrs Clearwater.

❥ Seth suggested celebrating your anniversary at your favourite restaurant in Port Angeles.

❥ After a delicious meal Seth remarked that it was time for a dessert.

❥ The waiter came minutes later with a chocolate cake and placed it right in the middle of the table.

❥ To your surprise the cake had a large ''Will you marry me?'' sign in white frosting.

❥ When you looked over at Seth, he was already kneeling down holding a small box with a beautiful diamond ring.

"Yes" you replied instantly and hugged him with tears in your eyes.

❥ Everyone was ecstatic when you announced it.

❥ Especially the pack.

❥ Preparations for the wedding started right after the announcement.

❥ You and Seth had agreed on a small ceremony at the beach and a barbeque afterwards for your family and close friends.

❥ The pack (minus Leah) set up the whole event and made sure that every little detail was perfect for the big day.

❥ They had help by the vampires of course as most of the Cullens had taken a liking to Seth.

❥ With the boys working on the wedding venue, you and the girls set out to send the invitations and select the dress.

❥ Selecting the right dress was easier said than done.

❥ Leah and Alice had completely different opinions on the matter.

❥ Alice advised you to go for something fancy.

❥ And Leah thought that a boho design would be more appropriate.

❥ But the final word on the matter was yours to make.

❥ So, after many dress fittings you finally found the one.

❥ The weeks passed and the big day finally came.

❥ Seth couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked down the aisle.

❥ Looking breathtaking in your white dress.

❥ Vows were exchanged and with a tender kiss you and Seth became husband and wife.

❥ At the after-wedding barbeque you had the time of your life dancing with your husband and close friends.

❥ When it was time to leave for the honeymoon, Carlisle and Esme surprised both you and Seth by giving you plane tickets for Rio de Janeiro and full access to Isle Esme.

❥ Seth and you were beyond grateful for the gift.

❥ The flight to Rio de Janeiro and boat ride to Isle Esme filled you with excitement about what was to come.

❥ Upon arriving on the house that would be your home for the next month, Seth gently picked you up and carried you inside.

❥ You giggled at the gesture and thanked him with a kiss when he placed you down.

"Shall we take a bath, Mrs Clearwater?" he asked.

"Of course" you replied with a wink.

❥ The two of you headed to the bathroom .

❥ While Seth filled the bathtub, you slowly removed your dress and lingerie.

❥ Without breaking eye contact with him.

❥ Seth felt a lump in his throat as he stared at your curves.

❥ Feeling hornier as each minute passed.

❥ You approached Seth and helped him remove his clothing.

❥ Once the bathtub was ready, you and Seth proceeded to enter.

❥ Seth rubbed your back, helping your muscles relax.

❥ You returned the favour by lovingly massaging his scalp.

❥ What started as a relaxing and intimate moment between a newlywed couple quickly grew into a passionate make out session.

❥ Seth couldn't stop kissing your lips as his hands travelled on your body, before settling on your thighs.

❥ You straddled his hips and deepened the kiss.

❥ His wolf side took over and he picked you up, heading out of the bathtub in a hurry and laying you onto the canopied bed.

❥ Not caring for the mess your wet and shampooed bodies left on the sheets.

❥ Seth left steamy kisses on your neck and breasts.

❥ He then moved to your inner thighs and eventually found the delicate spot between your legs.

❥ Soft moans escaped your lips as his kisses set your body on fire.

"I'm close" you whispered while tightly clutching his black hair.

❥ Seth knew exactly what you wanted and soon the pleasurable feeling spread through your whole body.

❥ He then kissed you hard on the lips and awaited for your consent to take things further.

❥ You nodded impatiently.

❥ Seth entered you gently at first and then picked up his speed.

❥ Pounding relentlessly into you.

❥ Stretching your tight walls with each thrust.

❥ Seth couldn't get enough of this.

❥ He felt divine when inside you.

❥ It was a mutual feeling...

❥ Things got so heated that he ended up using his wolfish strength a little too much.

❥ Resulting in the both of you landing on the floor.

❥ Bye bye bed...

❥ You and Seth laughed it off and continued your erotic dance without interruption.

❥ Having your climaxes simultaneously on the floor. covered with feathers from the mattress.

❥ After getting a proper bath and tidying up the mess in the bedroom, you layed in Seth's arms and enjoyed how blishful it was.

The honeymoon had just started and it was going to be a memorable one...

Masterlist

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Finer Things 3

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, age gap, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your mom surprises you with a visit but has a lot more in store than you could ever imagine.

Characters: Tony Stark

Note: happy hump day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Tony loves himself. Take care. 💖

“She just needs to sleep it off,” Tony declares as he puts his hands on his hips. He smirks as his eyes rove over to you on the other side of the bed. “Same as you, huh, sweetheart?” 

“Um, yeah, I... it’s been a long day.” You agree.

“Sure has,” he purrs. “I’ll give ya a ride.” 

“Oh, well, I can stay and keep an eye on her,” you insist. 

“Don’t sound like sleep to me. Mommy’s a big girl. She can figure it out,” he turns and searches the room. He strolls into a dark doorway and returns with the waste bin from the bathroom. “Hope her aim is decent.” 

He plunks the bin down next to the bed and teeter on your feet, “I don’t mind--” 

“You should. I mean, she’s your mom, you��re not hers, are you?” He challenges. 

“Well, no, yes, er...” you stammer. 

“If you ask me, you’re pretty mature for your age,” he crosses his arms. “Did I mention,” he pauses as his eyes flick up and down, “that dress is stunning on you. Really brings out your... eyes.” 

You look down and close your jacket. You fidget and gulp tightly, “you really don’t have to--” 

“I don’t have to, but I want to. I insist,” he struts around the bed as he drops his arms, raising his chin high. “You really gonna deny me? I’m being nice, sweetheart.” 

You peek at your mom and back at him. You wish she wouldn’t do these stupid things and let you pick it all up afterwards. If it isn’t a maxed-out statement, it’s something like this. She always made you the adult in the situation, even when you were just a kid. 

“That’s really nice, Mr. Stark.” 

“It’s Tony, sweetheart,” he stops before you. “I love the good girl thing but you don’t gotta play it up with me.” 

“I... I’m not?” You frown. 

“Ha, I’m teasing you.” He steps closer and turns to swoop his arm over your shoulder, “come on, let’s get you home and tucked in nice and snug.” 

You let him walk you across the room. You don’t know what else to do. He really is just being nice and you’re not sure of the busses on this side of the city. You look back at your mom one last time and let out a wispy breath. 

“Tell me again how you like my gray hair. I’m having a bit of a midlife thing going on,” he chuckles. 

“Huh, what?” You reel and look at him as he ushers you to the door. 

“You said it yourself, baby. You like it, right?” 

“Um, yeah, sure,” you are entirely lost.  

You don’t get him. He’s a billionaire, he’s famous, and he went to dinner with your mother. A woman his own age. A woman with a life. You’re just a girl who can barely keep up with her homework. 

His eyes sink down and you feel his gaze drift to your chest. Once more, you fix the front of your coat, this time hooking the button. He opens the door and nudges you through first. He follows you into the hall and yawns. 

“We could get a room. Crash for the night...” he suggests.  

“What?” You squeak. 

“I’m a funny guy,” he puts his hand on the small of your back. “I’m tired. I’m delirious. Saying things I don’t mean.” 

You squirm at his touch. You want to tell him to stop but you don’t know how. You don’t want to be rude, especially to him. Besides, he’s not doing anything wrong, is he? He’s just being nice. Boys, er, men, aren’t really nice to you. 

“It’s late. We’re both in need of a good night’s sleep,” his hand slips slightly, brushing the back of your jacket, before dropping away entirely. 

You continue down the hall in silence. Not sure what to say or do. You just to get to your dorm and lay down. Hopefully, tonight is an anomaly. You’re sure Tony will find someone new, like he always does. Well, that’s if you believe everything the media says. 

“You have a good time? Good food? Better company?” He goads as you step onto the elevator. 

“Um, yes, thanks again. It was really delicious,” you turn to face the doors as they slide shut. He stands close enough that his arm presses to yours and his cologne wafts around you. “I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere that nice.” 

“Really? Pretty girl like you? I don’t believe it.” 

You glance at him then look forward again. He chuckles as you face your reflection, realising he must have noticed the pointed glance in the mirrored doors. You drop your chin in embarrassment. 

“It’s cute, you know? Like you don’t believe me when I compliment you. Trust me, I don’t have the time or the need to lie.” 

You nod and meet his gaze in the reflection, “sorry. Um, thanks.” 

“No 'thank you' necessary. It’s the truth,” he winks and the doors open, breaking your eye contact, “ladies first.” 

You step out ahead of him before the heat can become too stifling. He struts up behind you and meets your stride across the lobby. As you come outside, you slow down, searching around as you barely remember parking. You’d been too concerned with your mother. 

You look around and Tony brings his hand up to clutch your arm. He leans in and lowers his voice, “this way.” 

Before he can urge you in the right direction, a flash scalds your vision. You put your hand up to shield your eyes and try to shake away the phantom white specks. Tony squeezes you tighter and tugs you away as the camera clicks again. 

“Woah, would you put that thing away? It’s the middle of the night,” he snarls as he draws you away hurriedly. “Sorry, sweetheart. I shoulda warned you. They follow me like scavengers.” 

You rub your eye as he leads you on. You can finally see again as he lets you go to open the passenger door of his car. You hesitate and look at him. 

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t look at me like that,” his voice drops in a way that makes your gut twist. 

“I’m... tired,” you croak. 

He chuckles, “come on,” he waves you into the car, “sit back and close your eyes. I’ll take care of you.” 

Something about his tone makes you squirm. You can only obey him. You get in the car and sit but you don’t close your eyes. You can barely settle in as tension wracks your shoulders. He shuts the door and strides around the front of the car. 

Another flash comes from a few feet away from the car and you hide your face behind your hand. It’s too much to deal with at once. The camera, Tony, everything. 

Tony drops into the driver’s seat and buckles his seat belt. You remember to do the same as he hits the ignition. That car hums and he takes his time adjusting the mirror and tapping buttons. Finally, he pulls out and you lurch against the backrest. 

You watch the smear of street lights and glare in the windows of dark buildings. Tony whistles and hums beside you. It makes you uneasy, like he’s waiting for something.  

As you come in sight of your street, you tense. You glance over at him, “wait... I didn’t... you didn’t ask for my address.” 

He chuckles, “oh, sweetheart, I sent the uber, remember? What, do you think I’m some sort of mind reader? A freak?” 

“Oh, uh, sorry,” you cringe at your own stupid suggestion. You don’t know why you said anything. Certainly, that’s the easy and sensible explanation. 

“You know, I’ve been accused of being many things but that’s a new one,” he snickers. 

“No, I didn’t mean... I’m tired.” 

“Oh, I know you are, sweetie,” he pulls in at the curb and shifts into park, “I’ll get you up snuggly in bed.” 

“Huh, oh, no, this is good,” you say as you clutch your purse. “Thanks for the ride.” 

“Come on, what about when your mom asks if I got you home safe? I can’t just tell her that I let you wander off in the dark alone.” 

“But...” you glance over at your building. 

“For my peace of mind,” he insists as he shuts off the engine. “I’ll be quick.” 

Before you can protest further, he gets out of the car. You sigh to yourself. There’s no refusing him and you’ve never been very good at it. He comes around and opens your door. 

Just get to your dorm and it’ll be over. Then you’re going to forget about everything. Forever. You don’t think he’ll have much interest in your mom after tonight, especially since she left him to babysit you. 

You take out your keys as you walk up to the front door and you flick the fob across the censor. You pull the door open and inch and face him. 

“Thank you--” You begin but he’s already hauling the door open. Your hand slips and he nudges your elbow. Your mouth opens and shuts. What can you do? 

You go inside and he follows, just as close as ever. You lead him to the stairs. You fell out of the habit of taking the elevator, it’s always busy.  

“Ah, late night workout, I like it,” he comments as he climbs the steps beside you. 

“You don’t have to...” 

“Look, I’m gonna make sure you’re safe and sound. Any decent man would do that, wouldn’t they?” Hey chides. “Ah, don’t tell me the other boys don’t walk you home. I mean, they must be boys if they’re doing that.” 

You don’t say anything. You’re really not sure how to respond to him. Not anything he says or does. 

“You must have them lined up. Good thing there’s security in this building,” he chirps. 

“Huh, no, I don’t... boys, no. I don’t,” you sputter as you turn and climb the next flight. 

“Ha, oh, you’ve sworn them off, have you? One bad experience and you’re done with them. Can’t blame ya. You need a real man,” he insists. 

“Well, erm, no, I have school and... I’m busy,” you shrug. “That’s all.” 

“Mm, right,” he accepts lightly. 

You won’t mention to him that you are far from popular. Not in any manner of the word. You just keep going, too weary to argue. 

You get to the floor and head down the hallway. You flip your keys around again and slide them into the slot. You twist, pausing as you hear voices from within. Of course, your roommates are still awake. 

The door opens from the other side and you rip your key out. Damn it. 

“Oh, it’s you,” Racquel says, “I thought you were the food--” She chokes and bats her lashes. Her eyes sparkle at the man next to you, “oh, is that--” she points then quickly curls her manicured finger. She lowers her voice to whisper, “Tony Stark?” 

He laughs, more amused than you. “The one and only.” 

“Wow, I...” her mouth hangs open and she preens, tossing back her hair, “I’m Racquel.” 

She offers her hand and he arches a brow before he shakes it. He glances over at you and narrows his eyes. You shrug again. 

“I’m her roommate. Her favourite roommate,” she purrs. 

You frown and look at her again. She rarely talks to you. You tried over and over to get to know her and the others but they were always too busy. 

“And I’m her favourite Tony,” he tosses back. 

“How... how do you know each other?” She’s nearly squealing. 

“Long story,” he says. “Anyhow, I don’t wanna crash girls’ night so I’ll just be off.” He turns to you, “sweetheart.” 

He surprises you as he leans over and pecks your cheek. You blink and just stand there. He runs his hand down your arm before he turns and strides off. Racquel watches him and sighs dreamily. 

“Wow, I didn’t realise you were dating anyone, let alone... him.” 

“Him?” You echo, “dating? No... I...” Panic swells into your chest and you take a deep breath, “um, excuse me.”  

You squeeze by her and rush down to your room. You shut yourself inside and drop your purse on the floor. You stomp over the floor and deflate just before you flop onto the bed. 

What the heck? 

[fluffytriceratops]

I am DESPERATE for some 2k3 Donatello dating headcanons, literally give me anything PLEASE I AM OBSESSED

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 - 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 [𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟑]

notes: i gotchu bestie. <3 lemme know if you guys want these for the other 2k3 turts as well! :D also sorry for taking literal ages to get this request done for you! thank you sm for requesting i hope you have a wonderful day/night! <3

warnings: brief nsfw mentions, mature language, 

click here to read raph's ver. [will add the others later]

tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @rheawritesforfun @s-s-ironnie @post-apocalyptic-daydream @mysticboombox @drowninghell @lec743 @raphielover  @raphslovemuffin80 @squirrelfurs @bibiz82 @pheradream-15 @kikithedreamerwriter @m1dnyt3-w0lf @scholastic-dragon @moonsua1 [if i've forgotten anyone i'm so sorry please comment or dm me and let me know and i'll add you right away so i don't forget in the future!]

(if you would like to be tagged in my future tmnt x reader related work, feel free to let me know and i'll happily add you!)

i love you all sm! i'm sending all the virtual hugs and well wishes to you!! <33

---

- as usual, 2003 donnie has an obsession with coffee. so if you get this mans some coffee expect an INSTANT marriage proposal. [honestly what ver of donnie doesn't have a coffee addiction?] 

- likes to do your hair. it's calming to him and helps him think. hes watched a lot of youtube videos and stuff for it, so he knows what he's doing too. he likes to try new styles n stuff on you. everyone knows when he's particularily stressed or can't seem to figure something out because you seem to have a new hairsyle everyday until he's fixed whatever it is that's bugging him, 

- will also handmake beads and stuff to put in your hair. <3 

- makes jewelry for you, esp out of silverware and other things. it always turns out so beautifully. 

- late night drives. donnie has insomnia and his brain works a lot during the night/evening. so expect to hang out a lot with him during this time. driving at night at new york is super pretty and peaceful too. esp when it's just the two of you. [so long as you don't mind the hectic city hehe-]

- cuddling with him while he works. includes sleeping on him/in his lab when he works really late into the night. he'll later carry you to bed. 

- painting on his shell/body for funzies. and if he does the same to you don't expect it to look too great because 2k3 donnie can't draw for shit. 

- donnie will gift you homemade cards with stick figures on the cover cuz again he cant draw but he knows you'll adore it no matter what just because he made it. plus you think its funny as hell and he adores your laugh. 

- hes actually really good at photography. and he has loads of pictures of you. you two go out and take pictures together sometimes. it's always a lot of fun. and they always turn out great. 

- late night talking sessions are a normal for you. 

- donatello tries his best to get you to sleep at a decent time, but sometimes you'll refuse if he isn't coming to bed with you just to get him to go to sleep earlier. he'll probably lay with you for a while, unable to actually sleep. maybe he'll read or listen to music to help pass the time. sometimes he will also sneak back out of bed once you've fallen asleep, and when you catch him you give him a good talking to. 

- he really needs to take better care of himself. he's always putting those he cares for above himself. so you're always there to make sure he's okay and that he's doing what he needs to do to be happy and healthy. 

- you guys hardly ever fight. donnie isn't one to argue with you. he's a very gentle and kind soul. he rarely raises his voice. (but when he does you find it hot as FUCK- lets be honest--) 

- fix it felix. always fixes things for you, even if you dont ask it of him. if he's at your place and notices something needs to be fixed he'll just do it for you. even if you insist he doesn't have to, he will anyway because he loves you. it brings him joy. and honestly, you should just let him because it probably stresses him out a little thinking about how your door isn't closing properly or your car sounds funny or your light keeps flickering- 

- you like to prank him on occassion, this includes the whole "i filled my tank with the special gas-" or "i let them put premium air in my tires and they gave me a really good deal". it freaks and stresses him out, at least in the moment hehe. its very funny but keep in mind he'll get you back. 

- him reading to you sfghfdgkjhdfg (id die please-) esp if you have trouble sleeping or something. 

- coffee dates are a must. even if you dont drink coffee. 

- donnie napping curled up on your chest/on top of you. you tracing the grooves of his shell. you've learned he finds this very comforting and it helps him fall asleep. 

- hes a definite switch- lmao.

- very gentle and understanding. he's like your personal diary or therapist and you're the same for him. 

[archiewantsheetmetal]

Hello Layton Nation. I am creating an AU based on those freight-hopper stories set in a time based on the Great Depression.

Major PL spoilers!

This is my first ever AU I am making public! The first chapter is already in the works while I plan out the major plot points of the story.

To summarize, Professor Layton's life has been almost completely destroyed in this 1930s-esque England, amidst a economic depression. Severe economic crisis has rippled across the globe, and Layton has been unable to get back on his feet since his attack shortly after Claire's death, losing his job and his money. He's left his city life behind and now lives wherever the tracks take him, staying out of the way of his previous loved ones in order to spare them of his problems and to relieve them of his burden.

Luke Triton is much the same as he would be pre-Last Specter, but everyone was effected by the depression. His family had to juggle treading financial waters and taking care of issues within the village until a greedy, desperate-for-money, immoral organization, Targent, destroys Misthallery in search of the Golden Garden. He runs away in order to save his own life after everything he knows is destroyed. He hops into a nearby freight, and meets a sleepy and free-roaming gentleman.

They ride the tracks together until Targent, which was also hired by the government to snuff Layton out, destroys the freight while it's still moving along the rail, propelling Luke and Layton off the familiar track and into the main story;

Phantom Railway.

After escaping from Targent at last with the notion that a mysterious assassin is on their tails, Layton and Luke learn of a strange railway that supposedly suddenly appeared one day. There are many myths and legends that surround the tracks, saying that those who manage to board the train that rides them are taken to the afterlife, and any who try to follow the tracks to the end disappear, never to be seen again.

With his interest piqued and his money nonexistent, Layton figures he wants to go explore this mysterious railway. Luke, of course, with nowhere else to go, insists on going with the man, and the two set off.

Phantom Railway I hope will do at least a little bit of justice to the types of stories on which it is based, and I hope those who read it will enjoy it. It will be less of a mystery-type and more of an adventure, but I'll try my best to incorporate both aspects into the storyline as much as I can.

I came up with this idea while driving past an abandoned railway in my town, and figured it looked eerie enough to make a cool story. I then found myself thinking about one of the scenes from a movie where a group of chain-gang prisoners escape to hop into the boxcar of a moving freight train, which has always been one of my favorite scenes in cinema.

This is my first time writing a project like this, so I'm hoping it does decently.

I'm still working things out, and if anyone has any questions, please ask! Honestly, it will help me understand my own lore so I can build and write it a little more fluidly.

This is still heavily WIP, and so many things stated in this post may change!

If anyone has any sort of objections, tell me those too! Correct me on anything, talk to me, ask questions, I'm open!

THANKS! -ARCHIE ☻

[tgmsunmontue]

Positivity post... and a thank you.

I took this photo on a walk this other morning and intended to send it to a whole bunch of people in their Ask boxes, as a thank you for being amazing/friendly/wonderful/talented etc. And I started making a list of the people and it got above 10, then 20 and then 30, then 40.

I was like 😧 it will take me ALL WEEKEND to send everyone the personalised messages I want to send. So I am doing just one big shout out post.

🌻🌻🌻THANK YOU 🌻🌻🌻

Thank you to those who send me asks - thank you, I don't ignore them on purpose. I usually find them again weeks later and feel awful for forgetting about them. 🌻

Thank you to those of you who tag me in things - the fandom community needs this and it's lovely to see this slowly coming back. Never feel bad or hold back from tagging me - I might forget to do it, or the notification will get lost, but I appreciate it all regardless. 🌻

Thank you to those who engage with what to write weekend posts and send in requests. It helps keeps me focussed and on task - writing for others is always an added motivation. 🌻

Thank you to those who go on reading sprees, leaving a column of your username in my notifications. 🌻

Thank you for all the likes likes and reblogs and replies to posts on fics. 🌻

Thank you to those who go the extra mile and also then kudos and comment on AO3 when the fic is posted there. 🌻

Thank you for drawing fanart of my fics. It still blows me away that this is something that has even happened because HOLY SHIT. 🌻

Thank you for letting me take your ideas and turn them into long fics. 🌻

Thank you for making art and allowing people to base fics off it. 🌻

Thank you for letting me get to know some of you better and ramble at you at all hours of the day and night. 🌻

Thank you for supporting me as I got back into drawing after a 25+ year hiatus. Trying to learn something again that you used to be decent at is an entirely new level of frustration and your grace, humour and advice has been truly appreciated. 🌻

As I get older I try and remember to appreciate the smaller things in life and everything above is something that makes me smile and feel grateful. So thank you again. 🌻

Tagging the people who I was hoping to send a personalised message to this weekend. I hope this suffices instead. 🌻🌻🌻

@phisworld14 @redfurrycat @halestrom @catarina4057 @almostkeenchaos @nixie-deangel @archhis @starfata @tothepayne @celandinebergerac @erudite-raven-apollokid @crooked-jes @nimuetheseawitch @lunamazes @omletlove @mxrcusflint @philcoulson-redtapeninja @iprefervillains @k9effect @yeagrave @the-ace-with-spades @indybob @gwaihiril @beezelarts @themissingmango @jayjay-thejet-plane @bigspoonlttlespoon @film-in-my-soul @jakekazansky @xiaokuer-schmetterling @poetryandpickles @demichrising @sweetcherryflavour @daughterofscotland @flyingfightingfishy @jayjay-plus @karlmschwartz @lucyybradford @spookybibi @ultimate-shipper @dancinginlifeandpoetry @nevergettingoverit @thyknife @sleepy-hyperfixations @oneelleandaneye @needforspeed161 @torchflies @accio-lo-ki @queeredfortakeoff851 @stellarskyes @intrepidjourneys

(This isn't even an exhaustive list, but it was off the top of my head and I know I have yet to get to know some people as I slowly work my way through reading catalogues of people's fics.)

[da-rulah]

Confessional - Cardinal Copia x F!Reader [Part 3]

Summary: At the request of Papa Emeritus III, you return to your duties around the Ministry, but when he reminds you of your absence from confessional in the past month, he asks you to return to where it all started...

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Word Count: 12k (lol wtf sorry guys this one ran away from me...)

Warnings: Pillow Humping, cunnilingus, panty-sniffing kink (once again, the glove returns...), honestly Copia just gets more pathetic in this part, vaginal fingering, premature ejaculation, cum eating, unprotected sex, rough sex, creampie, dirty talk (a lot of it...), lots of feelings, idiots to lovers

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3

A/N: Guys... thank you all SO MUCH. The love for this fic has been bigger than I ever thought, and genuinely my heart is so full whenever I get a comment, a reblog, a message about it. I hope this is worth the wait, I know it's literally double the length of the other chapters but I really wanted you to enjoy and immerse yourself - there needed to be a decent enough pay-off after all the pining and angst 😂 Special thanks to @her-satanic-wiles for the beta reading and encouragement, and to @adinferix for their help with the Italian translation!

Copia had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t think of you today. Last night had been the last time. No, really.... He swore it. The moment he decided? When he’d woken up, face down in his pillows – after a night of self-indulgence that included another long-since dirtied and discarded pillow... - and realised that there was something stuck to his face.  

Your glove.     It had taken at least 25 minutes for the red imprint of that floral pattern to fade away from the pale skin across his cheek, and he’d been mortified - especially when brushing his teeth, having to stare at himself in the mirror with that pattern taunting him. He may as well have written “PERVERT” in sharpie across his cheek instead, for all the shame it brought him. 

That pattern was the reason for the Cardinal’s tardiness to his seminar that day, the man scurrying down the halls and checking his reflection in any and every passing surface possible to be sure that there was no longer an intrusive red flower burned into his pale skin.  

When he reached his classroom, everyone had taken to their seats already, some chattering away with each other as they waited, others impatiently tapping their feet or pencils with each passing second. Copia slunk into the classroom, muttering apologies with his eyes trained on the floor to avoid the death glares of the siblings who took their studies just a touch too seriously.  

Without further ado, the Cardinal began to make some notes on the chalkboard at the front of the classroom. The chalk squeaked against the board, some of the siblings in the room whining incredulously at the sound and the chatter ceasing as if he’d done it deliberately to shush them.  

“Okie dokie, we will look today to focus on Latin pronunciation, and-” the Cardinal froze as he turned back to the class, eyes settling on a figure in the back corner.  

He must have been dreaming...   

There you sat, in your most conservative habit possible – purposefully changing after your meeting with Terzo that morning, your guilt for derailing the Cardinal in the confessional booth forcing you out of your impressive ensemble meant to manipulate Papa. 

Coming to Copia’s seminar was not a choice; you just desperately didn’t want Papa to bring Sister Imperator into this or get yourself in any more trouble. Terzo had spared you a punishment and you weren’t to take this for granted. So, you’d made sure you arrived with a group of other siblings, pushing through into the seminar room and plonking yourself in the very back corner in the hope he wouldn’t see you. 

But of course, he saw you. As if his body was magnetically drawn towards you, you were the first he laid his eyes on.  

You avoided his gaze, scribbling something down on the paper in front of you to look busy. You hadn’t missed his cut off sentence as his eyes settled on you, nor the lingering silence as you scribbled.  

‘Say something, Cardinal... Please say something. I can’t bear this...’ you thought, the seconds ticking by.  

“Mi dispiace (I’m sorry), I lost my train of thought for a moment. Pronunciation, sì, that’s where we were. Okay...” he shook his head, returning his attention to the class. He couldn’t focus on you now, couldn’t jeopardise himself that way. One wrong move, and you may disappear for another four weeks, or worse, and Satanas, he’d never forgive himself. That was not the kind of hell he wished to endure.  

Throughout the seminar, he would steal quick glances in your direction, as if making sure you were indeed still there, that you were real. Trying to find you before now had been like trying to catch smoke... downright impossible. His guilt gnawed at him like an insect burrowing into his skin, shame creeping over him each time he saw you staring down at your page.  

You didn’t want to be here, that much was clear to him. He’d made you uncomfortable, avoiding him... It stung him more than it should. 

“I... I think we’re done for today, classe (class) . Good job, molto bene (very good),” he fussed over the book on his desk as the class rose from their seats, gathering their things and heading for the door. In a moment of what he would describe as idiocy, he called out, “Uh, Sorella ______? Could I just...”  

But you were gone.   

Copia felt like a moron, embarrassed and pining over you as he watched you leave so quickly, quite obviously running from him. All he wanted to do was to apologise, to make you feel like you didn’t have to hide from him anymore. But you were that repulsed by him that you fled at the first chance you could.  

He huffed, dropping into his chair at his desk as the room emptied. He thought it over for a moment – you didn’t want to be in his class, and yet you came anyway. Why?  

Terzo... He had noticed your absence, questioned the Cardinal over it... Perhaps he’d told you to return to your duties, punished you...   

And that was all his fault. He’d upset you so much you’d avoided your duties, hidden yourself away. You were so repulsed by him that you couldn’t even look at him anymore. His sweet, most innocent Sorella…  

The Sorella who used to smile at him in the hallways, no matter who she was walking with.   

The Sorella who never missed a seminar he was hosting.   

The Sorella who only ever confessed on a Thursday, during his duty.   

The Sorella who kept stealing glances at him as his brothers performed Black Mass.  

Not anymore.  

How silly of him to think there was ever any chance you might not hate him. How silly of him to think you might actually be attracted to him, that you could be at all interested in the blithering idiot Cardinale who still reads Beano comics and relaxes with a Juicebox and video games at the end of the working week.  

Copia was always brushed to the side, never good enough for a woman as wonderful as you, as beautiful as you.  

How daft he felt, and how sick he felt knowing how he had defiled your trust – and continued to do so every. fucking. night. Behind your back, in the shame of his private quarters. 

Perverted old Cardinale Copia...  

Those moans, oh how he could write a symphony with those moans. They sounded so visceral and somehow so melodic rolling from your tongue as his rolled against your heat. And Sathanas, the taste... he devoured that sweetness like it was his last meal on Death Row. Your hands clutching his hair scraped their nails against his scalp and he growled into your mound with a deep vibration that drew more sweet, sweet moans from your lips.   

With two gloved fingers, he breached your walls and with expert precision, he found the spot only you had found yourself – no previous lovers ever able to satiate you like he could. You were his.   

His his his.  

Even through the leather, he could feel your warmth on his fingers, hear the hungry slurps of your pussy drawing him back in over and over with every pump of his fingers inside you.   

“Cardinal... Cardinal....” you chanted like a mantra, eyes screwed shut and breath laboured as he drew you closer and closer to an end, more of your juices seeping out and dripping onto his eagerly lapping tongue, until...  

Until...  

Sweat beaded on Copia’s forehead as his eyes shot open, his chest rising and falling dramatically as he lay in bed, his skin hot to the touch in the dark around him. His head snapped to the side, seeing the glowing red of his digital alarm clock reading 3:09am.  

He rubbed at his paintless eyes, groaning into the dark at the sticky feeling all over his body, the sweat now cooling in the night air and chilling him.  

Just a fucking dream.   

He could still taste you, still feel you, still hear you... How could he stop this? How would he ever be able to move on from this fucking chokehold you had on him? Does time heal all wounds?     Copia sure hoped so.  

In the dark, he felt the familiar need in his groin – a stiffness he wouldn’t be able to shake so easily. He didn’t want to, not again. Already he felt like a total degenerate, jacking off to the smell of your used glove a nightly occurrence. But now he was dreaming of you?  

With reluctance, he shifted the sheets and let his naked form hit the cold air around him, thick cock standing to attention. He threw an arm over his eyes, his other reaching down until he could lazily stroke the shaft of his shame a few times.  

Here we go again, he thought to himself in disgust.  

But disgust wasn’t enough to quell the rising lust he felt, and his hand began to pump his length with vigour as he recounted the details of the dream that woke him.  

He whimpered into the night, the heavy arm across his eyes shielding himself from his own depravity only getting heavier. His hips started to roll against the mattress, meeting his fist over and over. He couldn’t take this, he wanted so badly to bury himself, to grind down, to feel pressure...   

He sat upright, reaching behind him for one of the silk pillows he lay on before. He got up onto his knees, folding the pillow in two to create a crease and pushed it into his mattress, lining his hips up with it.   

And like the dirty old cardinal he was, he pushed his cock into the crease, groaning into a tight fist as he did.  

He leaned his weight over onto the hand pinning the pillow down and began to roll his hips into the softness, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure as images of you flashed in his mind. That dream, it had felt so... so real? As if he could taste you still, smell you still... 

And he could, of course, once his hand had snaked under the remaining pillows to retrieve that damned glove he was far too lazy to hide properly these days. He humped the pillow he buried his cock into like a horny teenager, holding that glove against his nose and mouth as he got faster and faster, inhaling.  

“Ohhh, cazzo... (fuck),” he groaned, picturing you beneath him, his cock pistoning in and out of you. How good you’d feel beneath him, how slick, and wet, and warm you’d be for him. The noises from the confessional booth still haunted him, ricocheting off the inside of his skull as he buried himself over and over.   

“Sorella... Hmmm,” he hummed, “______, merda (shit).” His hips stuttered, the silk dampened with precum giving just enough friction... He wished it was you so badly, your pussy enveloping him. He craved it, like he couldn’t bear to go on without having you, even if it were just once.  

He bit his lip as he growled, hunching over the pillow like an animal and spilling his cum into the crease. His hips slowed, lazily rocking back and forth as he milked the rest of his spend until he could take it not more, letting go of the silk and falling face first into the rest of his bedding, uncaring of the mess beneath him. 

Integrating yourself back into the Ministry life hadn’t been nearly as hard as you had thought, managing to avoid the Cardinal everywhere other than that damn seminar. You’d heard him call out to you as you were leaving, but it only made your feet carry you faster past your Siblings and out into the hall to escape. You knew it was cowardly, but you weren’t ready to have to explain yourself to him, to see the disappointment in his face or to chastise you for what you’d coerced him into doing.  

You knew today you could evade him, his schedule keeping him busy all day and out of your current hiding place; the library.  

You adored this library... The corridors were like a maze, easy enough to get lost in your pursuit of knowledge. In dark nooks, high back leather chairs to read in sat in dim lamplight. Artistic renditions of Satanic teachings littered the ceilings as they might in a Catholic church – except, it was Lucifer who danced through each scene instead of Jesus. Dark wooded desks for studying or translating lined up in the middle of the lobby, two grand staircases winding up the walls opposite each other to the second floor. In between the staircases, was the most beautiful part of all... 

On the floor sat a reversed Pentagram, carved into stone with pictures of Lucifer and his most feared animals painted into the ramp where the staircases met – goats, cats, owls, bats... the misunderstood creatures tied to him. Carved into the outer edge of the pentagram sat purple stained Atropa belladonna flowers and vines, and atop the raised pentagram sat a marble statue of a white snake winding around a black pedestal. In the mouth of the snake, stuck between the fangs, was the ripest red apple – a symbol of Lucifer’s temptation, his greatest triumph in the Garden of Eden.  

That statue always seemed to steal your breath away, as it did anyone who gazed upon it. The care and attention to detail, the way it always shined in the faux candlelight – real was too dangerous around the ancient texts and antique furniture throughout the library – it was just so spectacular.  

It was a beautiful place to spend your day, but it served a purpose today. You chose one of the leather high back chairs just off from the lobby to relax and catch up on some reading you’d neglected in your time spent hiding.   

As you neared the end of the book you were studying – an old Catholic tome you struggled to translate from the dusty pages – you decided to find the book that you knew countered the Catholic teachings, so you could cross reference and perhaps understand the old book better.  

You stood, taking the Catholic tome with you into the rows of tall bookshelves in search of the Satanic counterpart. It had to be up on the fourth shelf, just out of reach. Sighing dramatically in your own laziness, you reached for the running ladder at the end of the shelves, dragging it along its tracks to the spot you had been standing. You rested the book in your arms on a lower shelf, and starting to climb the rungs of the ladder.  

In your haste, the long skirt of your chosen conservative habit – the ones you had taken to wearing every day now that you were to be out and about around the Cardinal again – became trapped under your foot and naturally, you slipped from a few feet off the ground, losing your grip and balance.  

Two unassumingly strong arms stopped you before you could hit the marble flooring, wrapping around your waist and tugging you to a body behind you to stop you meeting a rather bruising conclusion.     “Careful, Sorella...” the chest you were pressed against vibrated with a deep chuckle. “Pretty girls should not be covered in accidental bruises, eh?”  

You stumbled to your feet, straightening out your habit and turning to see Terzo smirking at you, his ghostly eye somehow even more bewitching in the dim lamplight.     “Grazie (thank you), Papa... I slipped on...” 

“Sì, your habit,” his eyes raked over your form, confusion furrowing on his brow as he remembered the other morning in his office – you'd been wearing something much more to his liking. “I must say, I preferred the shorter one, mia cara . With the red stitching...” he winked.  

Your cheeks flushed with heat as you averted your eyes from his.  

“Did you only wear that for me, tesoro? ” he winked, taking a step towards you, “Thought it would get you out of trouble, eh?” His teasing flustered you, and you couldn’t string a full sentence together as your heart pounded in your ears, breathing irregular to compensate for the rush of oxygen to your brain. He laughed as you stuttered a denial. 

“Speaking of trouble, have you been attending your duties, sorella? Did you go to Copia’s seminar?” he stepped back again out of your personal space, allowing you to breathe normally once again. 

“Sì, Papa.” 

“And was he... happy to see you?” he asked, arching a brow. His tone confused you, like he expected a specific reaction. But Terzo was fishing... he suspected the Cardinal had a crush and was doing anything he could to put you in Copia’s way. He was making you dance around him, like the carrot on a string to tempt the donkey.... 

“Uh... I don’t know,” you thought back to the way his face fell when his eyes caught yours, the way his breath caught in his throat and the look of fear as his skin had paled to a grey colour. “Perhaps he was surprised.” 

Terzo’s face screwed up in confused annoyance. He’d expected better from the Cardinal, for him to be more welcoming when he so clearly had missed you around the Ministry. He’d asked Terzo to keep an eye out for you, to tell him immediately if he saw you, after all.  

“Well, I’m glad you’re back to your schedule, mia cara. But you know,” Terzo had a plan... He enjoyed meddling in the Cardinal’s affairs, and well, anyone’s ... “I must insist you attend confessional before today is out.” 

Your heart dropped in your chest. You fought to keep your face neutral, quelling every natural urge to look absolutely petrified of the thought. Because of course he would want you to attend confessional today.  

On a fucking Thursday.  

“It’s been a while, no? If you were gone for four weeks, you must be overdue?” he quizzed.  

“W-well, yes...”   

“We can’t have you falling behind, mia cara. I’m sure you have something to confess to the Dark Lord,” he turned on his expensive Cuban heels, “I must go, I have some uh... business to attend concerning a rather beautiful Librarian,” he began sauntering off into the bookshelves, “By tonight, per favore, sorella !” he called out behind him. 

Just as before, your shoes echoed on the Ministry floors as you walked to the Chapel. Except tonight, they felt louder and louder, ringing in your ears with each step. Your legs carried you on autopilot, unable to disobey a Papa’s direct instruction.  

Why did he choose tonight of all nights? It felt like returning to the scene of a crime... You didn’t know what you were going to say, what you could possibly confess to the Cardinal this evening that you’d done in the last few weeks when quite obviously you hadn’t done anything at all... 

The Chapel was steeped in dim candlelight, completely void of any signs of life. You stood in the doorway for a moment, staring like a deer caught in headlights at the booth at the other end of the room. A shiver ran over your spine, a nasty reminder that you were supposed to move, to go and sit in that infernal wooden box next to the source of your embarrassment, your fear... your lust.  

Because of course, despite your efforts to pretend he didn’t exist, your brain liked to remind you at night that he most certainly did. Except now, the grunts and groans of his pleasure were accurate, burned into your memory and used against you as a weapon as you slept.  

With a push, you entered the Chapel, somehow speed-walking to sit inside the booth beside the Cardinal who jumped at the sound of the door slamming shut a little too hard. You wasted no time.  

“Bless me, Cardinal, I have sinned,” you deadpanned.  

Beside you, the Cardinal sat bolt upright, eyes staring into his peripheral vision, afraid to make a move and look directly at the shadow beside him. If he made any sudden movements, perhaps you’d disappear in a puff of smoke... 

He cleared his throat quietly.     “Which of the sins have you committed, Sorella?” He stuck to his duty, as you stuck to yours. He wasn’t about to risk trying to have any other kind of conversation with you right now. Perhaps he could try after...  

But what the fuck would he even say to you? He wanted so desperately to apologise, but he couldn’t completely clear his conscience without admitting to everything that’s happened since the last time you sat beside each other in this damned booth. And there was no way he could do that, not without the promise that the ground would open up beneath his feet and plunge him into the deepest pit of hell the second he finished confessing. 

Beside him, you waited a moment, trying to think of something to confess to, but your mind was screaming the same thing at you.     Lust. Lust. Lust. Lust. LUST.  

“Sloth, Cardinal,” you huffed, “I’ve neglected my duties.” Coward, you scolded yourself. Not that it was a lie, of course. But... you couldn’t just own up to the worst of your sins. 

Copia’s shoulders relaxed next to him, a sigh leaving his lips. Part of him was terrified you might say lust again – he wasn’t sure he could take that torture. 

“Do you wish to elaborate, sorella? Is there a reason for your sloth?” he asked, as if he was trying to hurt himself further. He knew it was him – he was the reason. You were avoiding him, disgusted by him.  

“I did something terrible, and... I’ve been hiding,” you admitted. The cardinal was confused... What could you, his sweet sorella, have possibly done that was so terrible? Lucifer, you didn’t mean him? Were you that horrified by him?   

“Sorella, there’s no need to hide, you... uh...” he couldn’t think straight, his heartbeat rising in his chest as he panicked. He didn’t know what to say... Almost as if he were to absolve you of your sins but that wasn’t what confessional was for? But he wanted so badly to comfort you, to tell you it was okay, that he was so sorry... So very sorry for putting you in that position all those weeks ago.  

And on the other side of the lattice, there you sat, feeling sorry for ever entering the booth that night, for pushing him into such a situation with a member of his congregation, for defiling his position as Cardinal.  

Both two different sides of exactly the same coin. 

“I... I can’t do this, Cardinal. I’m sorry...” you rushed, pushing your way out of the booth and running through the Chapel. Copia sat for a moment, frozen in shock and disappointment when his body reacted before his mind could.   

He got up, and chased you. Out through the Chapel, down the hall where the clacking of your shoes was still echoing off the marble. But he kept running, desperately trying to find you without tripping on his cassock. He had to find you. He couldn’t let you stay like this, so angry and disgusted at him. He needed to apologise, even if that meant admitting to all the rest...    

“Sorella, wait!” he called, the halls empty for the time of evening it was. He was grateful, chasing a mere shadow through the halls like a predator on the hunt for his prey. Except that’s the last thing he wanted you to feel; hunted.  

You found it too difficult to run in your habit, far too long for you. You cursed as you stumbled, somehow managing to stay on your feet in the pursuit of your dorm but the Cardinal was faster than he looked, and before you knew what had happened you felt a grip on your arm dragging you into a nearby door, letting go as soon as you’d been almost flung into the room.   

The door slammed, and the Cardinal stood against it, breathless and looking distraught.  

“Cardinal, don’t make me s-” you wanted to apologise, to beg to spare you the shame of saying aloud what you’d been thinking since that first confessional... but he interrupted you.   “Sorella, mi dispiace if I frightened you, but I owe you an ap-” 

“Cardinal please, I can’t-”    “Mia cara, just listen...” he begged, but neither of you could get a word in edgeways.  

“I’m sorry, okay? I can’t help it, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable...” you cried, eyes filling with tears as you yelled your sorrows at him.     “What? What are you-” his confusion painted his features, hardened lines forming in his face.  

“Y-you’ve always been so good to me, and I don’t want to make you feel awkward or put you through that ever again. I should never have made you do that, I’m so ashamed of myself,” you rabbited on, wailing at him with four weeks of pent-up embarrassment spewing out your mouth. But the Cardinal stared at you as the cogs in his brain turned, realising what you were actually apologising for.  

“Are you sorry for your dream, mia cara?” he asked you softly, taking a step to stand of his own accord instead of leaning his back against the closed door.  

“Yes!” you yelled, “That and... well... what happened. It was too far, I put you in such an uncomfortable position and that’s not fair of me at all. Cardinal please forgive me, I’m trying not to have these thoughts-”     “You’re still having them?” his head cocked to the side, eyes squinting as he processed your rantings. 

“Well, um... I... yes, but I’m working on it, I’m trying to busy myself with other things and I thought that maybe if I hid for a while that I could stop it, not that I could look you in the eyes again anyway after what I did, and...” 

Copia had heard enough. He strode towards you through the rows of desks and chairs surrounding him, pressing the palm of his glove to your mouth to quiet you and in turn, pushing you to lean back against the solid oak desk behind you.     “Sorella, please...” 

That moment, singularly, was the beginning of your downfall. When you felt the leather of his glove press against your lips, his body pressing against yours as you stumbled back, and you whined against his hand...  

Copia’s eyes widened, like he hadn’t expected that at all. His movements were not meant to be at all provocative in nature; he had simply panicked, needing you to hush so he could speak, to apologise and not knowing how else to do so. But now... Well, he could see the crimson colour of your cheeks under his glove, matched with the look of shock on your own face. That noise; it was completely involuntary. But it came from a place of lust...    Of submission. 

A beat of silence passed between you, the air appearing to be sucked out of the room completely, suffocating you both where you stood. Your screamed at yourself inside your head, cursing how pathetically easily you had succumbed to the slightest touch and showed your hand before any kind of game had truly even begun.  

“You must learn when to quiet this pretty mouth of yours and listen...” The cardinal tested his limits, watching your response. He noticed the way your chest rose and fell deeply and slowly beneath him, and how your eyes softened a little as they scanned his face and found no real anger there, only the hint of a smirk. “Now, give me a nod or a shake of your head, eh? I want to ask you a few things. Nod if you understand.”  

You nodded, his hand still pressed firmly to your mouth.  

“Are you still having these dreams, Sorella?” You shut your eyes now, embarrassed, and slowly nodded your head.     “And are you still... enjoying these dreams?” he spoke slowly, deliberately. You nodded again, hesitant. 

“And have you acted on these dreams since, tesoro?” You took a few deep breaths before answering again; a slow, ashamed, but deliberate nod.  

Copia sucked a lungful of oxygen in through his teeth, watching your eyes on him as he did. His head swam in a dizzying array of images; thoughts of the dream you had told him about in such detail, thoughts of you alone at night thinking of him, touching yourself for him. As he exhaled, he looked away from you, breaking the eye contact you held in fear and finally looking around the room.  

The seminar room...  

… from your dream.  

A wicked smirk spread across the Cardinal’s face, and as you followed his gaze around the room, you realised why. You dare not move, holding your breath as he turned back to you, his beautifully monochrome eyes hooded and boring down into yours. 

“It’s here, no?” he asked. You didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. “This is where your fantasia (fantasy) takes place, eh? Answer me, tesoro. ..”  

You nodded against his hand again, shame flooding your cheeks with warmth. The stirring in your abdomen was growing the longer he stood pressing you into the desk behind you. It was maddening.  

“I press you against this desk in that dream, hm?” he knocked on the wood you leaned on with his free hand, in turn pressing just a little tighter against you. You could feel his body heat through his cassock, and it served to focus your own heat between your legs... “Will you remind me, mia cara , what exactly did I do here?” 

Slowly, he removed his hand from your mouth to let you answer him with words – except, you could find none. You stuttered and fumbled as you stared into his eyes, his face so close to yours you could smell his cologne stronger than you ever had. It was utterly intoxicating, a sweet yet smoky aroma. 

“Come, now, dolcezza ... Don’t hold out on me now, hm?” The back of his fingers met your cheek, lightly grazing the blush soothingly. “What. Did. I. do?”  

There was no escaping this, not that you wanted to. You were so close, your dream practically coming true before you. You may not be able to forgive yourself for pushing your Cardinal over the lines of professionalism all those weeks ago, but here he was, quite obviously flirting with you, enticing you.  

Tempting you.  

And you would never forgive yourself for fumbling this, for running and hiding once again. And that guilt would be worse, embedded with more shame and embarrassment than ever before. 

“You... were kissing me...” you whispered. The Cardinal smiled – not the dirty little smirk from before, more of a satisfactory smile, sweeter.  

“Tesoro, I’ll only ask you once – and whatever the answer, I will respect it,” he began, some nerves starting to bubble up in his chest. He feared rejection more than anything, having been rejected his entire life. Could he take it if you rejected him too? He wasn’t sure, but he had to try...  “Would you like me to kiss you?” 

Your chest bloomed with warmth, eyes flickering down to his half-painted lips and back to his eyes, somehow looking more puppy-dog like as the seconds ticked by. You realised then, he was scared of you saying no. Scared...   

But you could never deny your Cardinal.  

Words had failed you, that much was clear. And so, you opted for almost involuntary action, slowly leaning forwards against him until your lips barely grazed his. Copia could have sworn he felt his lips tingle where they’d brushed with yours; such a fleeting touch, unsure of yourself but it was all the answer he needed.  

He leaned in again, pressing his lips to yours for a kiss that took your breath away... His lips melded into yours with such a longing, both of you easily losing yourself in the moment. Just as in your dream, you sank into him, your hands gripping onto his cassock as he deepened the kiss. His arms had snaked around your waist, pulling your hips flush against him as he hummed into your mouth. 

Just as you imagined every night, one of his hands came to remove your veil, letting your hair fall freely while he worked his way past your lips with his tongue, gently mixing with your own as you fell further into him. You whined at the sensation, feeling his hands regroup and tighten on your waist as you did.  

He pulled away from you breathless, the black paint of his top lip smudged slightly. He pressed his forehead to yours, searching your eyes for any sign you wanted to back out, but finding nothing.  

“You look so beautiful without your veil, dolcezza...” he whispered before he could stop himself. Mentally, he scolded himself for being such a lovesick idiota, but the way you looked into his eyes and smiled was everything he had hoped for. He twirled a strand of your hair in his fingers, watching it as he curled it around the leather. “I had no idea you had all this under there, eh?” he chuckled, “ bellissima (beautiful).”  

He dropped the strand and instead came to hold your chin between this thumb and finger.  

“Now tell me, what happens next in that dream of yours again?” Your heart pounded in your chest, threatening to punch straight through your ribs to get to him. This was happening. This wasn’t you pushing him into anything, you weren’t undermining his authority. He wanted this. He wanted you.   

“Your hands... they slide up my habit...” you muttered, shy.  

“Like this?” he narrated, crouching momentarily to hook his hand under your habit, trailing slowly up your leg until the skirt hung lopsided around your upper thigh. You nodded at him, watching as his eyes never left yours. “And do I touch you here, mia cara? ” His palm cupped your mound over your panties, and he could feel the searing heat emanating from your core through the leather of his glove.  

The noise you made was involuntary – a soft gasp that made his already half-hard length twitch with interest beneath the heavy wool of his clothes. He didn’t wait for you to answer him, his question more of a rhetorical tease. Instead, he slid his hand against you, pressing against your entrance while his palm sat heavy against your clitoris.  

“Cardinal...” you breathed, eyes fluttering shut and lips parting to a perfectly round ‘O’.  

He continued to tease for a moment, enjoying the soft mewls and sharp breaths you took each time he would alternate the pressure between his palm and his fingers. But he only had so much control, after weeks of pining, of dreaming of you, fucking his damn pillows to the memory and the scent of you. 

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down your legs and letting them hit the floor around your feet. Without wasting a second or daring to look away from the blissful expression on your face, he dipped his fingers between your folds, dragging them painfully slowly through the mess you had made for him. The choked moan you let out at the sensation of that damned glove sliding through rang out against the stone walls of the seminar room.  

Copia collected some of your mess on his glove, lifting his hand into the dim candlelight of the room to see the way it shined. It reminded him of the moment he’d found your sodden glove in the booth, how it left the darker wet marks where he’d held it. Except this time, he was blessed enough to have it right from the source.  

“ Splendido... (splendid)” he mumbled, before you opened your eyes to watch him bring his shimmering glove to his lips, tasting what he’d taken. The way he groaned at the sweetness had you clenching around nothing, fisting the cassock you still had such a tight grip on. “I can’t deny myself, dolcezza ... Not anymore.” 

Before you had time to linger on his words – not anymore... - he dropped to his knees in front of you, as if ready to worship. He adjusted the skirt of your habit for you to hold around your hips, still covering your modesty for now. Both his hands slid up your thighs, parting them as he slotted in-between, finally coming to uncover you for him. 

The way you glistened for him made his concealed erection throb, and as much as he wanted to dive in and devour you whole, he didn’t want to rush this. He’d waited too long to be sloppy here. Instead, he pressed his lips to your inner thighs, enjoying the way they trembled in anticipation. Slowly, he made his way up, his breath tickling and warming the trail of wet he’d left with his tongue.  

Finally, his lips pressed against your mound. As painful as it was to have him tease, to gently kiss you where you so desperately needed more, you were grateful for any contact at all after the weeks of anguish believing he held no feelings other than disappointment and disgust for you.  

When the Cardinal at your feet finally allowed his tongue to slip between your folds, you couldn’t help the hand that flew to knock his biretta off his head, grasping at the peppered grey hair that grew beneath it. He groaned against you; at your taste, at your heat, at your grip. It was all so wonderfully intoxicating.  

As he let himself bury his tongue in you, he lifted one of your thighs over his shoulder for better access for him, and stability for you. He wrapped his arm around that thigh, gripping on for dear life as if you’d disappear on him again. But you were going nowhere anytime soon... 

As he mouthed at your clit, he couldn’t help the grunts and groans that rumbled like thunder against you, vibrating through you. You threw your head back in pleasure, uncaring of how loud your moans and whimpers were.  

When Copia started to slide his middle finger through your folds below his tongue, you almost collapsed back onto the desk. He pressed against your entrance, slowly allowing his leather-clad finger to slide inside you. He never stopped his tongue, never came up for breath.  

When he had his ring finger join the other, you began to see stars. He filled you so well, scissoring inside you and curling up towards that glorious spot inside you that no other had ever found.  

“C-Cardinal... ahh,” you whimpered. It fuelled him further, hearing his title fall from your lips above him. It was all too much for him; your taste, your grip. And now that? Oh, how sinful it sounded, how beautiful, like the prettiest songbird singing its morning melody.  

He was ashamed to admit that what you were doing to him had such a tight grasp on his sanity, he was losing himself in his mind and his body was following suit. While he had no friction, no pressure, nothing to help the painful need in his crotch, he was so close...  

In his reverie, he lifted your other thigh over his shoulder, burying his face further into you as he continued using his fingers to bring you closer and closer to the edge. You had to grip the desk under you to steady yourself, allowing his animalistic urges to take total control of your body. This was nothing like your dream.  

This was so much better.  

His tongue lavished against your clit unforgivingly, lips circling and suckling from time to time as he drank you in.  

“F-fuck, Cardinal... I can’t,” you begged for nothing above him, so close to the edge, dangling by a splintering branch over a deep canyon that was ready to snap at any moment. You couldn’t help the way you bucked your hips anymore, or the way you ground your pussy down into his face, his nose becoming a tool for pleasure as much as his tongue, lips and chin.  

That splintering branch snapped clean off when he growled into you, and suddenly you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, back slamming down into the hard wood of the desk behind you. If you felt any pain at all, it didn’t show – you were too busy writhing and squeezing your thighs around poor Copia’s head.  

What you didn’t know, was that the growl that had pushed you into your earth-shattering orgasm had been a growl not only of lust, but of anger. At himself.  

Beneath you, Copia was squeezing your thigh with the hand that wasn’t buried inside you, desperately trying to stop himself... But his poor, untouched cock had violently flinched beneath his cassock before spilling a hot load of his seed. Copia had cum just from eating you out.  

If he didn’t feel like a pathetic pervert before tonight, he certainly did now. Who cums from just going down on a woman?  

Oh, but you were not just any woman, were you? Not to him. You were the woman he pined over, stressed over, cried over, came over every fucking night for four wretched weeks. What it was about you, he wasn’t sure, but the Cardinal had never been so besotted with a woman in his life. Dare he say it, it had started long before that night in the confessional booth... He had been drawn to you since the day you took your vows.  

And no, he just couldn’t help himself.  

You lay on the desk, catching your breath and waiting for your head to stop spinning as your limbs went lifeless around him, one slipping from his shoulder. He detached himself from your core and stood up, readjusting himself in his pants for a more comfortable position now that the wet patch in his underwear was beginning to seep through to bloom into a deep red stain on his cassock. But there was no getting comfortable with his softening cock confined and covered in his own spend.  

He stepped towards you, between your legs and reached for your hand with the glove that wasn’t still glistening with your arousal. He lifted it to his completely smudged lips, peppering the back of it with chaste kisses as you came to.  

“Mia cara... are you... okay?” he mumbled between kisses. You hummed an affirmative response back, your mind still foggy in post-orgasm haze.  

Copia continued peppering kisses to the back of your hand, to each fingertip, your wrist, a little way up your arm and back down as he waited patiently for you to come back around to him. Eventually, you sat up, pushing your habit down to cover your modesty once again. He held your hand in his, gazing up into your eyes with a soft expression you couldn’t quite read. 

When you really looked at him, you couldn’t help but giggle. His paint was smudged around his mouth, a grey hue painting him from his nose to his chin, and his hair was so dishevelled he looked as if he had been dragged through a hedge.  

“What’s so funny, cara ?” he smiled with you, the kind of smile you can’t keep off your face when someone you adore is laughing near you.  

“You look a mess,” you laughed, smoothing out the parts of his hair that were sticking up.  

“Ah, sì, you have quite a grip,” he chuckled, looking away for a moment, suddenly bashful. “I trust that was not so bad, eh?” he bit his lip as he waited for your response, a little smug smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. 

“Better than my dream, Cardinal,” you shyly admitted. “But um... my dream doesn’t end there...” 

Copia’s smile dropped, realising what you were hinting at. You weren’t done yet... You wanted more from him. But in order to perform, he would have to reveal what you so far had missed.  

Before he could protest, your hand was cupping his bulge under his cassock, but as you pressed your palm there, your eyes grew wide, and your gaze dropped to look at what you’d felt.  

Wet.   

“Uh... mi dispiace, sorella... (I’m sorry, sister...) I... I couldn’t, um...”  

Someone had stoked the dissipating fire inside you once again, and a flame began to burn. You weren’t sure if it was knowing that Copia had cum in his pants at the taste of you, or if it was his dumbstruck look as he tried to rectify the situation with words but knowing he had been so enamoured with you that he’d reached his end even whilst neglected... that was hotter than you could have ever imagined.  

“What was it, Cardinal?” you interrupted him. He silenced quickly, cocking his head in confusion. “Was it how I sounded?” You pressed your palm to the soft bulge beneath you, not at all bothered by the wet fabric. 

“Was it how I tasted?” you asked, your confidence growing as his eyes widened in shock.  

“Was it how I pulled your hair?” The heel of your palm dug into him, rotating in a small circle over his cock.  

“Was it, how my thighs tightened around your head?” You heard him moan softly as you stared into his eyes. His cock was beginning to twitch in interest again.  

“Or was it how my pussy clenched around your fingers?”   

That did it. Without a word, the man before you wrapped his hand around the back of your neck, pulling you to him to crash your lips together. You’d awoken something inside him, a beast that he’d been keeping tame until now. Between desperate clashes of lips and tongues, Copia began to tease you back. 

“You want to know what it was, tesoro?” he panted against your lips like a dog in heat, “it was the thought that not only did I have you right where I wanted you,” he paused for another heated kiss, “ finally tasting what I’ve been desiring for so long,” and another, “but that I had infiltrated this pretty little head of yours, corrupted the sweetest of all the sorelle... I got to make you, mine...”   

You whimpered at his words, knowing every single one was no lie. But hearing Copia call you his had you arching your back to press against him, your hips desperately seeking him out and your lips messily found his again.  

 Terzo yawned as he walked down the halls of the ministry, the days of solid paperwork and papal duties - not the mention his library rendezvous earlier that day... - catching up to him as he slogged back to his quarters. The halls were dark, silent. He didn’t rush – he didn’t have the energy to. His mind wandered as he dawdled, taking in the stained glass around him with every step he took.   

He rounded a corner, and thought he could hear shuffling coming from inside one of the seminar rooms. He rolled his eyes, annoyed at the thought of having to put on his big scary Papa voice and tell whoever was out of bounds this late to go back to their dorms. Why did they make him work so hard, eh?   

As he drew closer to the door of a room he presumed was the one inhabited, he heard voices. He reached for the doorknob, until the voices registered, and he realised... These were voices he recognised...  

“Uh... mi dispiace, sorella... (I’m sorry, sister...) I... I couldn’t, um...” Was that Cardinal Copia he heard stammering away in there like a moron? Well, as a higher up member of the clergy, he was okay to be out of bounds at this hour. Terzo shrugged to himself and started to turn away from the door – whatever the Cardinal was up to in there was his business. And frankly, Terzo was too tired to even realise he had been speaking to someone...    

“What was it, Cardinal?” Terzo stopped, his brows pulling together in thought. That had sounded like you, Sister _____?  What would she be doing alone with the Cardinal at this hour?   

Terzo was now intrigued, and hung around for a moment. 

“Was it how I sounded?” What on earth was she talking about?   

“Was it how I tasted?” Terzo’s eyes widened, his jaw falling open. Had he heard that right?  

“Was it how I pulled your hair?” This was not the same Sorella _____ he knew, surely not? Such filth spilling from her mouth... He almost felt a swell of pride in his chest. 

“Was it, how my thighs tightened around your head?” Terzo all but jumped with giddiness at the door, keeping himself as quiet as possible to not alert those inside. He heard the Cardinal moan the most pathetic little sound, and slapped his gloved hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Oh, fratellino, you are down BAD...    

“Or was it how my pussy clenched around your fingers?”  

Terzo’s hand dropped when his jaw hit the floor, completely taken aback by your brazen use of such a sinful phrase. He’d clearly stumbled upon something already in motion... Suddenly, he heard a quick shuffle, followed by a suppressed moan from you and a hungry growl from the Cardinal. Terzo jumped away from the door as if it had burst into flames.  

Now, Terzo was certainly a pervert. But he was not about to eavesdrop on his brother fraternising with a sister of sin. He recoiled at the thought, shivering as he backed away to the far wall of the opposite corridor. He stood frozen for a moment, his body not reacting anywhere near fast enough.   

“You want to know what it was, tesoro?.... It was the thought that not only did I have you right where I wanted you... but I had infiltrated this pretty little head of yours, corrupted the sweetest of all the sorelle... I got to make you, mine...”  

That did it. Terzo turned and bolted down the corridor to get away from the lip-smacking sounds and the whines you let slip.  

As he rounded the corner and managed to get away from the noises that frankly would now haunt him in his dreams, he couldn’t help but feel a little... proud.    

That had been his doing. He’d pushed them together, forced them into each other’s presence knowing how absolutely pitiful and sciocco (foolish) the pair of you were being. Terzo certainly wasn’t blind – he'd seen the Cardinal’s affections, saw how your absence had affected him so. Now he was beginning to think your disappearance may even have had to do with him, in some way. Avoiding him, perhaps?  

Not that it mattered. For now, he was proud that his fratellino was making a move – however mentally scarring that move had been to overhear. 

And he told you that you were his, too. The meaning of that may have been lost in the moment, but it certainly wasn’t lost on Terzo. Copia meant that with every fibre of his being.  

He smiled to himself as he continued to walk to his chambers. For all the teasing and all the jokes Terzo made at Copia’s expense as they were growing up, he had to admit, he turned out alright in the end. His goofy little half-brother who kept his secret Beanos and drank his little juice boxes. He chuckled to himself – he certainly was proud of him. And finally, someone else saw him for more than a bumbling idiot. Someone finally didn’t underestimate him the way the rest of the ministry did.  

“Ben fatto (good job) , Terzo,” he smirked to himself. His little plan had worked; albeit, far sooner than expected, and just a little too well. 

He would be working hard this evening to forget what he’d just overheard...

Copia’s grip on your thighs around his hips tightened as he deepened your kiss, the leather of his gloves tightening and squeaking over his taught hands. You were sure he would leave bruises with how hard he held you, pulling you flush against him until your core pressed against his hardening length. You didn’t care though; any mark he left on you was like a badge of honour.  

“Dolcezza, what do you want from me, eh?” he pleaded, breathless as he trailed open mouthed kisses along your jaw and to your neck, never once disconnecting his lips along the way.   

“All of you, Cardinal...” you practically sang, “ please...”   

He hummed against your neck, lost entirely to his visceral need to devour you whole. You threaded your hands in his hair again, holding him tight to you as you let your head fall back, enjoying the kisses, the nips and bites, the suckling against your skin that bloomed in beautiful red and purple patches. 

Copia stood upright for a moment, biting at the leather on his right hand to free himself of his glove and spitting it to one side before he lay his palm on your cheek. He drank you in with his eyes, hooded and blown out with lust. You nuzzled into him instinctively searching out his touch, your lips finding his thumb to pepper kisses to the tip. It felt oddly intimate, more so than having his face buried between your thighs.  

No one ever saw the Cardinal – or any clergy member, for that matter – without their gloves. Their bare touch was saved for those they devoted it to, and here he was, baring himself to you . 

You pressed a final kiss to his thumb, before allowing your tongue to lave over the pad of it, your lips following to engulf his thumb in the warmth of your mouth. Copia hummed in front of you, his other hand squeezing your thigh tightly as he watched. 

“Cosa ho fatto per meritarti, tesoro? (What did I do to deserve you, sweetheart?)” he groaned, pushing his thumb to smear your spit over your lips, adoring the way they glistened for him in the low light. “I want to give you all of me,” he slid his hand to your neck, a wet trail left along your skin by the saliva still on his thumb, and gripped tight enough to send a wave of excitement through you. “Every last inch...” 

You whined for him again, as your body seemed to do of its own accord, and let him capture your lips in another kiss. You could no longer stand it – you needed him, like the moon needs the sun to glow brightly in the night.   

Hastily, you reached for the buttons of his cassock, making quick work of them until he could shrug out of the heavy red wool and let it fall to the floor. He helped you then, to remove his jacket underneath while you focussed on freeing his length.  

“A little messy, mi dispiace ,” he smirked, not sorry at all for the mess he’d made when he now knew how much that had turned you on. On another occasion, you would have liked to sink to your knees, clean him up and ready him for what came next but there was no time for that. Messy or not, you simply needed him.  

You didn’t even attempt to remove his pants, instead pushing them just a little further down his hips to allow you to reach into his underwear and take him in your hand. He hissed through his teeth like you’d scalded him, but instead rocking his hips to chase your touch. He had been correct, there was certainly a mess in there – one that coated your hand as you pulled his erection free and pumped along his length once, twice...  

“ Cazzo... (Fuck...)” he groaned.  

As your hand moved, you let your eyes wonder over his body, half exposed to you now. The physique you had dreamed of wasn’t far off, except he had a little more muscle definition than your imagination had given him credit for, particularly in the two lines that framed his abdomen, leading down to where your hand worked him over. But what caught your eye most of all, was the strange tattoo that sat over his heart, hidden by a thin layer of grey-speckled chest hair.  

Three 6’s, in a spiral, marked into his chest for eternity. Your free hand traced the black lines, fingertips grazing over it making him shiver at your touch. You didn’t ask about it, there was no need. He had kept it covered, hidden from knowledge of anyone else until right now – you were the only person he ever wanted to be this vulnerable to. Someday though, you might ask him about that...  

Copia moved to remove his other glove, letting it drop to the floor beside him with the rest of his garments. His red pants still clung to his thighs, and he struggled to draw his eyes away from where your hand stroked his cum-covered cock lazily.  

With one long, drawn out stroke back up his length, you lifted your hand – smeared in his mess – and pressed two of your fingers to your tongue, sucking the mess from them as you held his eye contact. His expression darkened, baring his teeth to you like an animal as he smirked, watching you lick and suck every last bit of his essence from your hand. A fire raged within you, like lava spewing through your veins at the quiet yet guttural groan he unleashed. 

In a flash, he was dragging you to the edge of the desk where you sat, both hands burrowing into the soft flesh of your hips. His hips slowly rocked against you, cock dragging through the plentiful juices you’d left for him. You hummed at the feeling of some contact, particularly the feeling of the veins and ridges of his hardness. You needed him inside you, filling you. You couldn’t drag this out anymore; it was like torture. Worse than torture.  

“Please, Cardinal...” you begged. And how could he deny you when you’d asked so nicely?  

“Kiss me, bella,” he huffed, his focus snatched away by the hypnotising sight of his cock sliding through your folds as he teased. It was as if he could only be diverted by your lips, that he couldn’t drag his attention away voluntarily.  

You grabbed him by the jaw with one hand, crushing your lips to his desperately. He growled again, the weeping head of his cock catching on your entrance and slowly, finally, he began to push inside...  

Your jaw went slack, kiss long forgotten as your eyes squeezed shut and you let out a staggered moan into his mouth.  

“ Sono qui, tesoro... (I’m here, sweetheart...)” he assured, holding your hips flush to him with a hand on the small of your back. He struggled to keep himself still, buried to the hilt and desperate to move, but you needed a moment. The feeling was overwhelming, stretched to the brink of pain and pleasure, dangling dangerously there as you got used to him.  

It was a true testament to his self-control and his character that he waited for you – as soon as his length had been buried in your tight, wet warmth he thought he was a goner. He figured that this was it – this was the glorious afterlife he’d been promised, that he prayed to Lucifer for day in, day out. 

Having you pressed against him grounded him as much as he needed. He watched the expression on your face, waiting for any sign of discomfort, of regret. He found none, because there was none to give. His lips hovered above yours, enjoying the warmth of your breath as you moaned for him.  

You were wearing too many clothes still for his liking; he wanted to be unbearably close to you, to feel the warmth of your skin on his, see you in all your glory. Still buried deep inside you, he used one of his hands to unbutton your habit, slowly revealing more flesh to him, kissing down your exposed chest until he could reach no further down.  

He was so gentle with you, so patient. He fought the urges to thrust into you, to take what he so desperately wanted from you. He simply wanted this to be perfect, and the thought had your eyes glazing with an adoration that went beyond a silly little wet dream. 

As your own way of signalling you were okay, you wanted more, you shimmied out of your now open habit, letting it pool around you where you sat, and pulled the straps of your bra down, unclipping it at the back.  

He watched your slow movements, tracing patterns on your skin with his fingertips. “ Più bella di quanto avrei mai potuto immaginare (more beautiful than I ever could have imagined),” he whispered, pressing his lips to your sternum, feeling your heart beating against him. If only he had known he felt this way, that it was more than just lust – if he had admitted that to himself... 

“ Copia ...” you whined, the first time you’d called him by his name all evening... His heart swelled, smiling against the swell of your breast between kisses. “ Per favore, h-ho bisogno d-di te... (Please, I need you...)” you stuttered in broken Italian, piecing together bits you had picked up in your time in the Ministry, but he knew – oh , he knew what you were saying.  

“ Qualsiasi cosa per te, amore mio (anything for you, my love),” he replied, sweetly pressing his lips to yours as he cradled your face in his hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck and sunk into him, only for him to begin moving his hips, slowly pulling back from where he had been buried deep within your warmth for a few minutes now at least... 

You mewled into his kiss, letting your tongues dance together so beautifully. It wasn’t until he had slid almost completely away from you that he pushed his way back in, gliding almost effortlessly in the slick you’d created for him. He built his movements over a few slow thrusts, gradually setting a pace that would never bring you to any kind of climax, but enough that the two of you were swirling in pleasure, able to enjoy your first moments anchored together.   

Copia’s lips never left yours, not to allow moans the freedom to escape or to allow his lungs the freedom to breathe. You were totally, utterly enamoured with each other.  

With every roll of his hips, you edged closer and closer to a point of begging for more, begging for a means to an end. He was struggling to keep himself composed, too scared to frighten you off if he unleashed what had built inside him for the last four weeks.  

“Copia, m-more... please...” you begged, finally separating the two of you to hazily look in his beautifully distinct eyes, show him the desperation in your own.  

“Amore, if I let go, I’m not sure I can control myself...” he warned, still forcing himself to stay at the pace he’d set.  

“Then lose yourself, Cardinal... Take me,” you offered yourself to him, trusting completely that he would never do anything you didn’t desperately want yourself.  

With no further encouragement needed, and a whisper of “ Cazzo, Sathanas perdonami ... (fuck, Sathanas forgive me...) ” he picked up his pace, effortlessly sliding into you over and over until the tops of his thighs were smacking into the underside of yours. The sounds ricocheted off the stone walls around you, a sinful mix of whines, pants, grunts and skin slapping on skin swirling in the air around you.  

The hands laying loose around his shoulders slid into his hair, pulling tight to press his forehead to yours. The desk beneath you groaned and creaked under the force, scraping along the floors with each hit. Your Cardinal’s cock filled you so deliciously, his hips angled to hit the back of your cervix and the top of your pussy where that tantalising sweet spot lay.  

“I wanted you for so long, amore mio...” he confessed, “so completely, like un patetico bastardo (a pathetic bastard).” He grit his teeth together, grunting like an animal as he fucked into you. He fought the urge to push you back down against the desk and lift your thighs up, spreading you open as much as possible for him, wanting to savour the closeness, the way he could feel your breath beading in condensation on his neck.  

“S-six months...” It was your turn to confess. “I’d b-been dreaming of... you... for six months...” you cried out as he slammed into you harder, fuelled by your admission.  

“ Bella , you’ll be the end of me, eh?” he chuckled between pants of breathlessness. “ Adesso sono tutto tuo (now I’m all yours...)”   

The coil in your abdomen wound impossibly tighter, threatening to fracture at any moment with the way he rolled his hips up into you, filling you deliciously with each pistoning motion. You felt the ripples from each violent thrust over and over against your clit where his body met yours, and the way his nails dug into your flesh, no doubt leaving bruises with deep crescent shapes imprinted in your skin.  

“C-can’t... hold...” you could barely string a sentence together in your current state, “ fuck...”   

“Cum for me, amore. Cum for your Cardinal, eh?” he roared. And well, you couldn’t stop yourself if you wanted to.  

Fire spread from your core through every nerve ending, spanning your entire body and you squealed and writhed against him. He never faltered, not missing a single beat as you shook and spilled around his cock. The way your walls fluttered around him, squeezed him impossibly tighter made every thrust a struggle, but he fought it – he couldn’t let you down now.  

He tensed his body, staving off another orgasm as long as he possibly could. He wanted you to revel in yours, wanted to watch you come undone on his cock like he’d dreamed of so many times. A litany of profanities and mumblings of his name spilled in incoherent babble as your limbs turned to jelly, barely clinging onto him to stay upright. If you were to fall back or forward, you were to choose forward, slumping against his sweaty chest, your head sitting where his neck met his shoulder.  

In your tired and overstimulated state, all you could do for him was mouth at the skin there, leaving sloppy kisses while your pussy continued to pulse around him until eventually, he gripped your chin tightly to lift your head and crash his lips to yours. He growled into your mouth, hips stuttering and slowing – he had cum inside you, needing to taste you again as he did so.  

With his final few thrusts, his spend leaked from around his cock, mixing with your own climax. He punctuated each thrust with a hum of satisfaction, until he couldn’t take the movement anymore, his cock too sensitive to continue. Still, he didn’t remove himself. Not yet...  

Somehow you both slumped together, keeping each other upright with your body weight alone. Your chests rose and fell together, trying to regulate your breathing to have an opportunity to speak at all. But honestly? The pair of you were happy in your blissful silence together for a moment. 

After a few minutes, it was you who spoke first. 

“I thought you would hate me...” you sighed against his shoulder. Copia’s brows furrowed together, and he stood himself up removing his softening length from you, holding you by your shoulders to get a good look at you.  

“Why would you ever think that, amore mio?” he asked, genuinely confused.  

“I thought I had overstepped, that night in the confessional. I thought you were ashamed, disgusted...” you drooped your head in sadness at the memory of him excusing you so abruptly that evening.  

“No... not with you, never you , tesoro,” he assured. “At myself, sì? I assumed you would despise how I took advant-” 

“Cardinal no, you didn’t... Sathanas, we’re both really stupid, aren’t we?” you chuckled, shaking your head at your antics.    “Idioti innamorati (idiots in love),” he laughed, until he realised what he’d actually just said – and then the colour drained from his face, his eyes blowing out wide in horror.  

You smiled softly, taking his hands from your shoulders and pulling him to take a step closer to you.     “Idioti innamorati,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to the end of his nose, still greyed from the smudging of his paints. Copia smiled sheepishly, a warmth spreading in his chest. He hadn’t felt like this before, much less ever had someone reciprocate his feelings. He felt strangely at peace, more so than he ever had.  

“Tesoro, promise me something, eh?” he asked. You nodded, willing him to continue. “Never hide from me again, okay? I damn near lost my mind.”  

You laughed at your idiocy. “I promise, Cardinal.” You leaned forward to press your lips against his, sweetly capturing the moment in a blissful kiss.  

When you pulled apart, he wordlessly helped to gather the garments that had been carelessly removed and dressed you again. You exchanged jokes about the messes you both were, how vile it felt to put your clothes back on with the feeling of your spend seeping from you and his still damp in his underwear... How truly ridiculous you both were.  

“Come, bella. I have a rather large shower cubicle I think we can both put to good use,” he flirted, pulling you to him by your waist now you were both fully dressed. You agreed, taking him by the hand and wondering through the corridors together back to the clergy suites.  

“Besides, I have something of yours I feel I must give back...” Copia laughed at himself, somehow no longer afraid to admit what he had been up to in your absence when he knew now just how depraved your own mind could be.  

Your mind ticked over at what on earth he could possibly mean, until it dawned on you... You had lost your fucking glove.  

“ You pervert!” you accused, smacking his chest playfully as you walked. “Maybe I don’t want it back, Lucifer knows what you’ve done with that thing...” The two of you giggled and flirted your way back, uncaring and unaware of any prying ears that may hear voices late into the night.  

And there were indeed prying ears, albeit accidentally, that perked up at the sound of voices outside his chambers... 

Terzo sat on his couch with a glass of vintage red in his hand, attempting to read a book to take his mind off the sinful noises he’d heard from his fratello earlier that evening. When he recognised the noises, he groaned to himself.  

‘Must they parade around to remind me of that?’ he thought to himself, rolling his eyes and standing to look through the peephole of his door. He saw the two of you waltzing through the dimly lit corridor, hand in hand like teenagers. The dopey look on his brother’s face was, to him, a wonderful sight; so hopelessly enamoured with you as you giggled and laughed together into the night.   

He had always hoped Copia would find someone like you – perhaps that’s why you were the one sister he never tried to bed, the one he felt was off limits to him. Maybe he had always known... but he was glad to see his fratellino acting like himself in your presence. Goofy, dopey Copia. Perhaps now, he could stop looking for approval from those he looked up to and looked down on him, and focus his efforts on simply being himself. After all, he had now found someone who liked him for who he was, not who he hoped to be .  

“Idioti innamorati,” he muttered to himself, chuckling at his win.  

Sì, his fratellino could be himself now – however pathetic he may be...   FIN

A/N: I hope you loved it as much as I loved writing this. This may be my first Ghost fic, but it will NOT be my last - so if you'd like to stick around for more, I'd be incredibly grateful. Send me some head canon requests or some drabble prompts - I'm MORE THAN HAPPY to do those for you. Endless love, Bee 🖤 TAG LIST: @melvilless @copiasprincipessa @siouxbauhaus @edensbuttercups @daughter0fcain @xnothingpersonalx @assassinprocrastinator @funfetti-furby @kadedoesthings @sunbleached-ghoul @gravehags @gbatesx @solluna00 @mae-mei-m @bolliancat @ghulehsin @socksandcr0cs @girlwithissuesworld @fallen-angelito @maccery @wjyndigo @thew0man @a-fools-circus @luxavier @saintedcooper @whatawonderfulexistence--blog @calamity-queen @eternaltiare @moongoore @wagooo @dolceterzo @emeritusing @letstalkstories @sacred-coffin @rainstorms-library @ryos-cruddy-side-blog @fruitmanstyles @relentlessmoon @cardinal-copingmechanism @werich @strawberriiblossoms @evepeve @portaltothevoid @casualghostfan @copias-juicebox @sl1psth3magg0t @enchantedbunny @pedro-pedrito-pascalito

[moonstruckme]

Hi! I am absolutely in love with your writing! The way you portray our boys is just *chefs kiss*

Anywho, I was wondering if I could request poly!marauders x plus size reader? Maybe she is very confident until somebody picks on her and she starts becoming obsessed with dieting and stuff. (I'm struggling a lot with that rn) just a bunch of worry and comfort from our boys.

If you don't feel comfortable writing this or just the prompt I gave it's okay. Ily!♡

Hi, thanks for requesting my love! I'm really sorry you're struggling right now, I know how hard it can be and hope you're doing your best to take good care of yourself. You're beautiful just as you are <33

cw: size insecurity, behavior that hints at disordered eating

poly!marauders x plus size!reader ♡ 1.2k words

The worst part is, you know they weren’t even really trying to insult you. 

You smiled as best you could, said your thanks politely, and moved on. Moved on outwardly, that is. Inside, the words play over and over in your head, like a song on the radio that gets worse each time you listen to it. It wasn’t that they were vicious, or particularly clever, or even wrong. It’s just, you’re not used to people commenting on your body like that. 

You know you’re not skinny. So does everyone else. Neither of you typically feel the need to confer about it. Every now and again, some cruel busybody will say something, but that’s fairly easy to brush off. They’re insecure about their own looks, they have nothing better to do than fixate on strangers’ appearances, they’ve probably been on diet pills since they were twelve. You wish them well and mostly forget about it. But what’s worse is when someone comes to you with good intentions. The idea of being perceived as pitiful or wrong—really, having your physical form perceived at all—by someone who seems to want the best for you is what really hurts. That’s what makes you want to hide, to shrink yourself down until they can’t see you anymore. To become the invisible status quo. 

It’s why, over the last few days, anything skintight or remotely showy has been relegated to the back of your closet in favor of things that hide your figure. Why you’ve stopped drawing attention to yourself with colorful makeup and instead started focusing on your health. Well, your health as it presents itself externally. 

“Anyone else fancy a dessert?” Sirius muses as you sit reading on the couch, Remus reading the next book in the series beside you. 

“Um, no,” James says, holding up a hand of cards from the game he and Sirius have been playing, “you only want to go so you don’t have to stick around and lose.” 

“Whatever my other, subconscious motives may be,” Sirius says guilelessly, “I really feel like something chocolate. Don’t you, Moons?”

That’s always a safe bet. Remus looks up from his book, intrigued. “I could go for some chocolate.” 

Sirius grins. “What about you, gorgeous?”

That’s usually a safe bet too. But you shouldn’t. “Thanks, but I’m still full from dinner.” 

Sirius looks cheated, and Remus cocks his head at you. “Really? Didn’t seem like you ate much.” He’s not wrong. Remus had made the most incredible feta pasta, it was borderline heartbreaking to leave any on your plate. But you’re trying to practice restraint, and thankfully, James had happily taken care of your leftovers for you. “Did you have a late lunch or something?”

“Mhm.” 

James looks up, eyebrows furrow bemusedly behind his glasses. “No you didn’t, angel. You said you didn’t feel like lunch after we had breakfast together, remember?”

“Oh.” You nod. So what? You’d had a late breakfast, and a decently sized dinner, and why do you really need more than two meals anyway? Who made that rule? You’re a bit hungry, but your body just needs time to adjust to your new routine. It’s used to overindulging. And nothing about today means you deserve dessert. “Right.” 

Sirius wraps his fingers delicately around your ankle, smoothing a path up your shin with his palm. “Darling,” he says, and he looks distracted as he runs his fingers over the old scars on your knee, but you know him well enough to recognize when he’s keyed in, “did you eat anything today, other than breakfast and that little bit of dinner? Any snacks or anything?” 

You can’t help the little rush of pride that goes through you. “No.” 

Sirius doesn’t look proud. In fact, he’s frowning, as are Remus and James. You change tactics. “I’m not really hungry, though.” 

“No?” Sirius' voice is unsettlingly gentle. “Why don’t you want to have dessert tonight, pretty girl?”

“Because,” you say, beginning to feel defensive (though you’re not sure of what), “I don’t need it.” 

“It’s not about need, though,” James says, and why is it beginning to feel like you’re in an argument? “It’s about what you want. Do you want a little something sweet?”

“I…” Yes. The answer is yes, but do you want it more than you want to feel good about yourself? “I think what I want more is to prove to myself that I can go without it.” 

Remus’ scars shift as his face scrunches in concern. “Dove,” he says, and you can’t decide if his tone is more reprimand or pity. You don’t like either option. “Where is this coming from?” 

“I’m just…I’m trying something new,” you decide. “I want to lose a little weight, okay? Nothing crazy.” 

“But why?” James sets down his cards, looking completely befuddled. “Angel, you’re gorgeous. You can do whatever you want, but we love you just like you are.” 

“And,” Sirius adds before you can reply, “we love you most when you’re happy. I sort of thought,” he says, lowering his voice like he’s telling you a secret, “that our late-night treat runs made you happy. No?”

“They do.” You pull your legs up onto the couch, away from Sirius’ touch. “I just…I think it would make me happy to be a more normal size, too.” 

Remus looks gutted. “Honey, you…it’s your body, and you should do whatever feels right for you to be healthy, but…we love you like this,” he insists, ardent. “You’re beautiful, I mean it, and I hate the idea that you might want to change for…well, for anyone other than yourself.” 

You hesitate. You’re not actually sure who you’re doing this for. When had you become one of the people who want for you to be smaller so desperately? “You seriously don’t think I would look better if I were thinner?” You’ve never been one to put much stock into what any men think of your appearance, so you feel silly for asking, but you’re in a vulnerable state. And really, don’t all guys want a girl that looks like the love interests in the movies you all grew up with? 

James looks you in the eye, letting you see the earnestness in his as he says, “You’re absolutely lovely, right here, right now. We wouldn’t change a thing.” 

Your answering smile is oddly watery. Remus makes an awfully lovely cooing sound, leaning over to wrap an arm around your waist and paying no mind to the chub there as he pulls you into his side. “Don’t be upset, darling. You know what I bet will cheer you up?” He smiles as you look up at him questioningly, kissing between your brows. “Some chocolate. How would you feel about that?”

You let out a quiet little laugh. “Pretty good.” 

“Yes!” Sirius pumps his fist in the air, already abandoning his cards and standing up. “I knew you’d come through, gorgeous. Now I think the more pressing question is, do we want chocolate pastries or chocolate ice cream?”

“Ice cream, obviously,” James says. “Before it gets so cold out we don’t feel like it.” 

“Not all of us suffer from weather constraints,” Sirius argues. “I vote pastry.” 

“Why would you bring ice cream up if you didn’t want it? Think long and hard, Pads. Are you going to feel like a frozen dessert when you need three layers to go outside in a few weeks?”

Remus rolls his eyes at you as you follow them out the door, letting your boys continue their bickering all the way to the store.

[z-ancunin]

Fatal Touch (SCP 049 x Reader) Part 1🧡

| SCP 049 x fem!reader | Warnings: brief mentions of death and medical procedures (no blood). Part 1 of a series, NSFW in the later parts. You have been invited to an interview with the infamous SCP 049, aka, The Plague Doctor. Will you become another one of the doctors so-called "patients" or perhaps something more? |

Today was your first interview with a sentient SCP since you’d been hired. You had worked here for close to a year but had only really interacted with SCP’s in the “Safe” class. From what your boss told you, this anomaly was a class “Euclid”. Even though you had only graduated 5 years ago, your resume and good grades were enough to turn a few heads. The interview process was extensive to say the least, there were countless interviews, background checks, drug screenings, and even a lie detector test before the hiring paperwork (and an NDA) were slid across the table towards you. The pay was fairly decent, even if the hours were long. You hadn’t really bothered to make friends with any of your colleagues either. Almost everyone was very secretive of their personal life, which was understandable given the nature of your work. You just kept things cordial with every staff member you interacted with, and left out the bonding part. As you settled into your office for the day, you took a sip of your coffee and turned on your computer. As the screen lit up, you unpacked your bag and set everything out on your desk. You took out your notebook, several black pens, your company issued tablet, and a few snacks to get you through to your lunch break. While you were laying out your materials, you were interrupted by a knock at your office door.

“Come in,” you looked up to see your supervisor, Dr. Itkin with a file in his hand. “Hi Dr. Itkin, good to see you.”

“Good morning Y/N, how are you doing?”

You gave a small smile. “Good, I’m excited for this opportunity, thank you again for choosing me.”

“Of course, it’s high time you got to do some research on something more interesting. You’ve proven yourself to be quite a promising researcher, so you were an obvious first choice. I’ve got the file on the SCP that we will be interviewing for today.” Dr. Itkin lifted the folder he was holding in his hand.

Which SCP is it?” you asked as he handed you the file.

“SCP-049, a highly intelligent Euclid class that has been at our facility for roughly 8 months. It resembles a medieval plague doctor and seems to be obsessed with something that it calls “the pestilence”, although it has yet to completely identify what this pestilence is.” Dr. Itkin adjusts his glasses. “That file has all the information we’ve gathered on it so far. The interview is scheduled for 1300 hours in Research Sector 2, Site 19.” 

You opened the file and briefly scanned the pages. You noticed the photo of SCP 049 immediately. It did resemble a plague doctor from the 12th Century, its face was covered by a large beaked mask and a black hooded robe. But what drew you in were its eyes. They pierced your soul and made your hair on your arms stand up. You looked up and nodded at Dr. Itkin. “I look forward to it! Thank you doctor, I’ll see you soon.”

Dr. Itkin nodded and left the room, the sound of his shoes fading down the hallway.

You opened the file in front of you and began reading in depth about this SCP. The more you read, the more you felt sorry for it. Being taken away from its homeland and brought here with little to no resources to conduct experiments seemed rather cruel. Surely the foundation didn’t plan on letting 049 return home, so it would be stuck here for as long as the foundation was around. Not to mention, it seemed fairly intelligent so being imprisoned was probably very boring. You were also intrigued by the deadly touch that it possessed, as any subject that came into contact with it was killed instantaneously and operated on, becoming a zombie-like creature that the Foundation called ‘SCP 049-2’. You just hoped that you wouldn’t do anything to cause it to use its power on you. As you flipped through more of the pages, you came across an incident report that was dated 3 weeks ago. According to the report, SCP 049 had a scheduled interview with Dr. [REDACTED] when it suddenly became agitated and killed said doctor, claiming that he was sick and needed to be cured. Due to a lapse in security, Dr. [REDACTED]’s body was not found until several hours later, where it had been turned into an instance of SCP 049-2. Your mind began racing and you felt your heart rate spike. What pestilence did 049 detect, if any, and would it try to cure you too?

As the time grew closer, you started gathering your things and headed to Site 19. You couldn’t deny that your nerves were on edge as you grabbed your notebook and pens, but you also couldn’t ignore the intrigue. As frightening as SCP 049 sounded, you were also genuinely curious and wanted to learn more firsthand. As you strolled down the hallway and towards the elevators, you noticed several guards and a D class personnel headed in that direction as well.

“Keep moving.” one of the guards snapped and shoved the man in the orange jumpsuit forward. They stopped outside the elevator doors and the guard to the left pressed the elevator button down and waited. “Going down, miss?” he asked as you approached.

“Uh yes, I think so. I’m supposed to report to Site 19. I’m looking for SCP 049’s containment area, do you know where I can find it?”

All three guards froze and turned towards you. Your face immediately became flush and you cleared your throat. “What’s wrong?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly.

None of the guards spoke up, and with their faces completely covered, you weren’t able to see what their reactions were. 

“049 is a…special anomaly.” one of the guards began. “It allegedly killed two D class when they were sent in for experimentation and five more personnel when it breached containment, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

You swallowed hard. He must be referring to the containment breach incident from a few weeks ago. The elevator door opened and the four men pilled in. Your feet felt suddenly made of lead but you forced yourself forward into the small metal box. The guard in front of the car operating panel pressed two buttons and the doors closed. No one said a word as the elevator moved down. You clutched your notebook with white knuckles and attempted to control your shallow breathing.

“Hey.” one of the guards spoke up.

You looked over your shoulder, your fear probably written all over your face. 

“You’ll take this down to two floors and then make a left. You’ll be fine, as long as you stay away from it. Don’t let it get too close, I’m sure you know what will happen. Just be smart and stay on high alert.”

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. You had reached your destination, but your feet were still heavy and you were having a hard time getting your body to move.

“This is your stop. Good luck.” the same guard said and held the door open for you.

C’mon Y/N, you just need to move. It’ll be over soon and then you can go back to your office.

You nodded and whispered a small thanks as you stepped into the hallway and turned left. You didn’t bother looking back in the elevator, you knew you’d be too tempted to run straight back in. Your nerves were all over the place as you grew closer, Dr. Itkin was waiting outside with a clipboard in his hand. He looked up at you and waved.

“Y/N! Right on time. Did you have enough time to read through the file I gave you?”

You nodded vigorously. “Yes, thank you doctor. It was quite informative.”

“You seem a bit nervous, do you still wish to accompany me?”

You knew that backing out wasn’t exactly an option at this point, you’d already read the file and if you refused The Foundation would most likely have your memory wiped due to the sensitive information you had read. Besides, you felt the need to prove yourself as one of the newest researchers at the facility. “Yes I do. I’m just nervous since this is my first intelligent anomaly I’ll be interacting with.” you lied through your teeth. “But I’m not going to let those nerves stop me, I’m eager to learn.”

Dr. Itkin smiled. “I’m glad to hear you’re still on board. Let’s head in then, shall we?”

You followed him into a dimly lit room where there were several people in white lab coats talking amongst themselves or working on computers. There were also two guards with assault rifles posted outside the door inside. It looked a lot like a prison interrogation room, it even had the two sided glass so the people in the room couldn’t see out but those on the outside could see in. Through the window you saw SCP 049 sitting at a long metal table. Two chairs were seated on the opposite side of the table. SCP 049’ wrists were chained to the table so it couldn't move them. Its head was down so you couldn’t see its face. You wondered if the beak was part of its face or just a mask, and if it was only a mask, you wondered what it looked like underneath it. Dr. Itkin approached the door leading to the interrogation room and swiped his keycard. The door light turned green and slid open. 

“Dr. Itkin, how pleasant to see you again.” SCP 049 hummed, lifting its head and tilting it to the side. The humanoid figure sat across from you and Dr. Itkin, its wrists restrained in chains that were connected to the table. His gaze slid over to you and you felt chills run down your spine. “And, who might you be?”

“My name is Y/N, and you are?” you said politely.

“Ravi de te rencontrer chérie (Lovely to meet you dear). I have had many names across the years, but you may call me doctor. You are new here Y/N, or at the very least I have not seen you in this part of the facility. What brought you here?”

You recognized the doctor’s switch to French briefly in your conversation and it made you wonder what he had said. “I’m a new researcher. My speciality is in microbiology and chemistry. Was that French you just spoke?” you asked.

“Yes, it is my preferred language, although English will suffice. Curious, I have not met anyone here with a degree in microbiology. Your knowledge may prove useful in my research of the Pestilence. And you’re an aspiring scientist you say? Wonders abound.” 049 mused. “I see a very bright future ahead of you. Your eyes hold that spark of curiosity that is so often lost in this field. It can be hard to hold onto that spark, but keep the fire lit and you will go far.” 049 nodded. 

You felt a small bit of heat rise to your cheeks, but managed to maintain your composure. “Thank you, doctor.” you said, your voice wavering slightly. What the hell had gotten into you? This was a highly dangerous and intelligent creature and here you were with butterflies in your stomach from the kindness of his words.

“Now, tell me Dr. Itkin. What brings you to my containment cell?” SCP turned towards your boss, his eyes trained on him.

“I wanted to check and see how your research has been going. We’ve seen you perform several…operations on the test subjects that were provided to you in the past, but we are no closer to understanding this pestilence you speak of. Have you any new developments to share?”

049 huffed and laced its fingers together, the chains of the wrist restraints jingling with the movement. “Well doctor, it might be more useful to provide me with more human test subjects like before instead of the mammalian cadavers. It has been some time since I was afforded a live patient and I would like to resume that schedule if possible. The pestilence affects humans, and that is where my interests lie. I cannot cure what is not sick nor what is already deceased.”

Dr. Itkin sighed and shook his head. “049 your recent behavior is partly the reason why we have not given you any more human subjects. Your breach of containment recently was unacceptable and several lives were lost. Not to mention the death of Dr. Hamm. You must understand that if you do not cooperate, you will not be permitted to continue your experiments. You have already lost most of your privileges and you will continue to lose more.” 

“Those people were sick, very sick and incredibly contagious. I did you and this whole facility a favor by curing them.” 049 said matter-of-factly.

“I’m sorry 049, but it doesn’t seem like this “cure” of yours is a very good one. Those who have been touched by you are never the same.” Dr. Itkin said, his voice a bit sadder than before. It seems Dr. Hamm’s death was still weighing on him.

049 was about to say something in response when you spoke up.

“Doctor, if I may,” you began. “How would one know if they had been exposed to this sickness?”

049’s face was covered by the mask and hood it wore, but you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of surprise in its eyes when you asked your question. Almost like no one else had thought to ask. 

“What a wonderful question dear Y/N, you see I have the ability to detect the pestilence in any living creature. Perhaps it is a divine gift or perhaps it’s due to the many years I have spent studying it. In any case, I am always able to tell when someone is infected, even if they themselves do not feel any different.”

You nodded and took down a few notes as 049 spoke. “Do you detect any of the pestilence in me, doctor?” 

049 leaned in closer, and you felt your whole body go cold. There was something unsettling about the entity, but something drew you in too. You didn’t know whether or not to run away or lean in as well. 

049’s eyes scanned up and down your entire body, lingering for just a brief moment on your lips before resuming eye contact with you. “I do not. You are perfectly healthy, as is Dr. Itkin.” 049 stated. 

You smiled. “That’s good. I will hopefully do my best to keep it that way. Perhaps if it would help, maybe we could take a look at some cells from an infected person under a microscope? I’d be very interested to see if the pestilence mutates any of the living cells.” Even though you still knew next to nothing about this disease, you could tell that it meant a great deal to 049, and if you could help advance its research you would be happy to help. 

049 chuckled and you could hear a smile in its voice despite not seeing its mouth. “You are quite different from anyone I’ve met here, Miss Y/N. That spark I noted earlier, I can see you crave knowledge as do I. Perhaps you would like to be my progeny someday? Learn by my side and help me eradicate this disease once and for all?”

Dr. Itkin’s walkie-talkie beeped and a muffled voice came through the speaker.

“Dr. Itkin, please exit the interview area and bring Y/N with you.”

“Affirmative. Y/N, we will have to cut this conversation short, we’ve been instructed to leave.”

You nodded and grabbed your notebook, slightly disappointed that your conversation had been cut short. “It was nice to meet you doctor, I look forward to speaking more.” you gave him a small smile and nodded your head as you pushed in your chair.

“As do I. Au revoir ma chérie, s'il te plaît, porte-toi bien (Goodbye my dear, please be well).” 049 said in his native dialect.

You followed Dr. Hamm out the door and back into the observation room where you first entered. All eyes were trained on you, and it made heat rush to your cheeks as you squeezed your notebook tighter.

“Y/N? My name is Dr. Isaac, good to meet you.” the man extended his hand towards you and you shook it.

“Nice to meet you too. How can I help?”

“We were observing your interview with SCP 049 and noticed that he seems to have taken a liking to you.” Dr. Isaac gestured to the other people in lab coats across the room who were all watching you. “After the containment breach, 049 has been much quieter and more withdrawn. But today was different. He seemed to be more animated and talkative with you. We think your presence could be beneficial in finally learning what this Pestilence is that he seems so obsessed with. So, what do you say? Would you be up for weekly interviews with SCP 049?”

You were shocked. You’d only had one conversation with the doctor, but you also couldn’t deny that you had felt…something when you two were talking. His presence drew you in, while your mind screamed to turn and run. And yet…

“Yes, I’ll do it.” you answered after a moment of silence. When do I start?”

[fandom-geek17]

Destined For More

Neteyam x Omatikaya!Reader

Synopsis: Being a close family friend of the Sully's, and Kiri's best friend, it was hard to be around Neteyam and not fall in love with him. Supressing those feelings were even harder, especially when his parents start pressuring him about finding a mate...

Rating: E MINORS DNI🔞🔞

Tags: Friends to lovers! Eventual smut! Semi public smut! P in V smut, Reader has a name, no use of Y/N

Vocabulary: Nantang (Viperwolf), Marui (Pods/tents), Skxawng (Moron), Tanhì (Bioluminescent freckles/stars)

Ages: Neteyam (21), reader (20), Kiri (20), Lo'ak (19), Tuk (13)

Can also be read on AO3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

“There child” Mo’at told you gently, standing over your shoulder as you crushed the herbs in the mortar. “Perfect.” You smiled to yourself. You were a decent healer, but hearing it from her directly meant everything. Kiri had always been the best healer, always would be, but you enjoyed the profession. Feeling like you could contribute with something else other than making clothes.

Alongside you and Kiri, there were two other healers in training, and everyone was currently busy helping a hunting party that had been attacked by a group of Nantang. None had been seriously injured, but there were a lot of bites and scratches to clean and bandage. They were lucky, it could have been worse. But since there were suddenly so many patients, the supply of medicines ran low. As Kiri and the other two worked on the patients, you were happy to sit in the corner, making more healing paste as fast as you could. The patients were an important part of being a healer, but the thing that had always interested you most was the science behind it. Discovering how new plants could optimize healing, which ones soothed pain, which ones killed bacteria. You had recently discovered that alternating the weaving pattern of the bandages caused more air to flow through without exposing the wounds to the elements. That way, it lessened the chance of infection.

“Emmy, can you pass me those?” Kiri asked, pointing to a pile of leaves next to you. She smiled in thanks as you gave them to her. Your real name was Emreyìte, meaning surviving daughter. It was a bit on the nose, but you liked it. You mother had labored for over two days to bring you into the world, and you nearly didn’t make it. The name was supposed to convey the strength you had already displayed coming into this world.

When you finished crushing the herbs, you put them in the water stewing above the fire. Stirring slowly, and evenly, the water slowly changed color. But it needed to steep for a little while longer. This particular mixture of herbs soothed pain very efficiently when boiled into a tea. But the taste wasn’t particularly pleasant, so you always added some sweetness in the hopes of counteracting the bitter taste. All the hunters were given a cup of the liquid to drink. They all grimaced badly, making you smile a little. It was terrible, but you were still experimenting with the recipe.

You all worked in quiet unison until all the hunters had been treated. It was well past the start of the communal dinner by then, evening setting in slowly. The other two healers went to get something to eat whilst Kiri helped Mo’at to her marui. You stayed behind to clean up. And also take inventory of how much of the supplies had been used. Hunger rumbled in your belly, but it would have to wait.

“Knock, knock” a voice murmured. A voice you knew all too well. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as your breath hitched.

You turned around and indeed. “Neteyam” you breathed. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, watching you with a small smile from under his eyelashes. “I saw all the other healers join the dinner, but not you. I figured you’d be here, too wrapped up in your research to eat again.” He held out a steaming bowl in front of you. “So I brought you this.”

The smell of Yerik stew filled your nostrils, making your stomach rumble again. Neteyam smirked, proving his point. “Thank you” you said, accepting his gift. But it was only when he stepped inside the hut properly that you noticed the wound on his shoulder, making you gasp slightly. “Neteyam, what happened to your shoulder?”

“Nothing! It’s fine, don’t worry about it” he assured you, but not very convincingly.

“That needs to be cleaned” you stated, setting the bowl aside. “What happened?” You looked at his expectantly until he finally caved, quirking his brow in your direction.

“I caught a tree branch during fighting practice” he admitted with a nonchalant tone. “It’s fine.”

“Did you clean it, at least?” you asked, observing the wound. You already knew the answer.

“Yes” Neteyam said.

“Well, not well enough. Sit! Does it hurt?”

“No.”

You quirked at eyebrow at him, your tail swishing impatiently.

“A bit.” Neteyam’s ears flicked as his eyes flitted between you and the bowl of Yerik stew. “Can you at least eat first? Waiting a couple of more minutes won’t kill me.” He smiled at you playfully. He was normally very reserved, the smiling Neteyam was usually saved for his family.

But you only huffed, filling a cup with the last of the tea from earlier. “Here, drink this while I eat.” As you sat down with your bowl of stew, Neteyam took a small gulp of the liquid in his cup. His brows furrowed but other than that, he did an okay job of hiding his disgust. But having known him since you were kids, you could tell when he hid the truth. “You can grimace, you know” you giggled over the bowl. “It won’t hurt my feelings. I know it’s disgusting.”

Neteyam hummed, only making a small grimace after his next sip. “It’s not the best” he admitted with a sheepish smile. “But it’s effective. And a lot better than the last time. You’re getting very good at this, experimenting with medicine.” You couldn’t help but blush at his praise.

But you had also just stuffed your mouth full of food, so the only answer he got was that damned blush you wished would go away. As soon as you finished the bowl, you go to work on his shoulder.

Your hand trembled slightly as it made contact with Neteyam’s warm skin, holding him steady while the other hand cleaned his wound with a cloth. Your hand rose and fell with each of his breaths, and you leaned in to see properly in the firelight. Eywa, he smelled so good. Always had. It was intoxicating, and also the reason why you never got too close to him.

Your family and the Sully family had been friends since forever, you and your brother grew up together with the Sully’s, but as your brother made lots of other friends, your only real friend was Kiri. Of course, Kiri came with Lo’ak, Spider and Tuk and they were great, like additional siblings. But they weren’t Neteyam. With his broad shoulders, gentle voice, infectious smile, kind heart and protective older brother demeanor, it was impossible to not gain a crush on him. That crush had lasted on and on since you were fourteen. At seventeen, even you had to admit to yourself that you had fallen in love with him. And how could you not? He was everything, had everything. He was the handsome son of the Olo'eyktan that all the women gazed after, giggled around and tried to flirt with. He was the dream you could never have. It had been clear over the years that he only saw you as a friend, as Kiri’s best friend. So you had become very good at dreaming in silence and later suppressing your feelings for the man sitting before you.

Dreams of exploring with him, laughing with him, him confessing his undying love for you and making you his mate. And also not so innocent dreams, dreams of being with him. Of him kissing you, running his hands all over your body, his mouth following suit, him pushing his cock deep into your pussy, joining his kuru with yours, finally creating that everlasting bond…

A hiss from the man in question broke you out of your train of thought. “Sorry” you whispered, your mouth and throat suddenly very dry.

“It’s okay” Neteyam whispered back. You could have sworn that his voice was deeper, throatier, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “It just stings a little.”

You nodded quietly and swallowed, desperately trying to regain some moisture in your mouth so you could get your voice back. Standing up, you took a deep breath that you hoped was subtle and went to get the Yalna bark mixture. This was exactly why you tried to avoid being too close to him. Every time those big golden orbs watched you intently or his smell surrounded you, thought and memories of your illicit fantasies caught up with you and you had to remember that Neteyam was destined for so much more than a healer who was more interested in playing with plants than helping her patients.

He was watching you right now, you could tell. His gaze burned at the back of your neck, but when you turned back around, he thankfully looked away. You had to say something, quickly. The longer you stayed quiet, more memories of last night flooded your brain. Those fantasies of him wrapping your legs around his neck before he-

“Why didn’t you come here before?” you blurt out, desperately avoiding eye contact, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart.

Neteyam shrugged with his good shoulder, his eyes following the movement of you fingers as you dipped them in the mixture. “There were so many wounded hunters, thought you should prioritize them.”

You huffed at his stubbornness. “Skxawng” you muttered, trying to not take in how defined the muscles around his shoulder area were. “I al- we always have time for you” you corrected quickly. Please Eywa, don’t let him catch that slip up!

You dared a quick glance at his eyes, but you couldn’t read the expression there. He opened his mouth and closed it several times before speaking. “I’ll remember that” he breathed.

Quickly, you looked back down at his wound and shuffled closer to be able to apply the ointment. Too late you noticed that this position practically placed you between his legs. His knees rubbed against your waist as you leaned forward. Again, you placed one hand on his chest for support before rubbing your coated fingers over his wound.

A small groan left his lips. A groan that caused you to close your eyes and legs tighter together. Thank Eywa that your braids covered your face as you worked, if he saw the deep violet of your cheeks or your eyes that were more black than yellow, he’d probably bolt out and you’d have to dig yourself into a hole of embarrassment and stay there forever. There was nothing sexual about that groan! He was in pain, you reminded yourself. Still, all you could feel was the beating of your heart and the lightning bolts of pleasure going from your stomach to your core.

This was exactly why you needed to keep a safe distance from him! When there were other people around or you kept yourself at a respectable distance, it was easier to remember that all you would ever be was his friend. It made it easier to suppress everything.

As soon as you could, you bolted from your position as if you had just been burnt. Clearing your throat, you look away, letting your braids hide your face again. “Okay, you’re all set” you murmured under the guise of putting everything back at its rightful place.

You could hear Neteyam standing up behind you, shuffling about a little. “Thank you, Emreyìtre. I appreciate it.” It was so rare for someone to call you by your full name. It caused a flutter of your heart that made you feel both happy and sad at the same time. “Are you staying here long?”

Why did he want to know? Did it matter what you did? “Probably not” you answered slowly, finally turning around to face him. “We used up a lot of Mo’at’s supply today. I was going to forage some more for her so we can all start fresh tomorrow.”

“Now?” he questioned, gesturing to the setting sun outside of the tent. “It will be dark soon.”

You crossed your arms, tail swishing slightly. “So? I’m not afraid of the dark.”

Neteyam’s ears flicked upwards along with his tail. “I know” he smiled. “But I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

You sighed… You wanted to say something derogatory to distract him from the real reason you didn’t want him accompanying you. It’s not like you could tell him you wanted the alone time to cool off and maybe shoot a couple of arrows in between gathering. But when you looked into those hopeful, determined eyes of his, you couldn’t lie. Damn him! “Fine. As long as you remember that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself then you can make yourself useful and help me carry everything.”

You thrusted a satchel bag into his hands. Neteyam snorted and slung it over his shoulder before accepting the large pile of smaller containers that you had woven for this very purpose. You gathered the same equipment for yourself before also armoring yourself with your daggers and bow and arrow.

As you walked, you tried to stay a couple of paces ahead of him, both to show him the way but also to give yourself some space to think. As eclipse slowly set in, his tanhì would illuminate more and more, creating that perfect canvas of speckled light. He had always been so beautiful in the dark, his features somehow more prominent than during the day. Over the years, you had spent many evenings around a campfire with him and his family. Carefully watching him out of the corner of your eye, you had decided that nighttime was his best look.

But you couldn’t think of that right now! If this was going to work, having him accompany you, then it couldn’t be awkward. You had to treat him the same way as you would anyone else helping you. And that meant no ogling! Hence why you were walking ahead of him.

Neteyam walked diligently behind you, not saying much, just following in your footsteps. Eventually you stopped in front of a clearing.

“Here” you pointed towards a patch of green. “See those plants with the rounded leaves?” He nodded, stepping closer to you to observe the plants. “Dig up the roots, clean them and put them in one container. As many as you can fit.”

“What do they do?” he asked curiously as he sunk down to his knees.

“They calm anxiousness” you answered immediately. “They can also help people sleep if prepared properly.”

As Neteyam worked on the roots, you used your knife to gather the same herbs you had boiled earlier today. Neteyam proved to excel at this, like everything else. He quickly filled the woven bag with roots and immediately asked for a new task. You set him to work as much as you could, both to get the work done faster and because you secretly wanted to see that pleased smile whenever he showed you his collection of plants. He was like one of those yellow canines Jake had showed you on a computer once. The ones that existed on earth. He had that same eagerness to please and do well.

It warmed your heart that he genuinely wanted to help. Yet you also had to remind yourself that this eagerness was not singled out for you. He probably wanted to help everyone with the same fervor. He was the next Olo’eyktan, after all. If the people were supposed to follow him, then he had to show he would be there for them with the same loyalty.

But as the evening went on, Neteyam followed you more and more, asking you to tell him about each and every plant you collected. And it was nice to have something to talk about. Something that you could sink into without feeling self-conscious. So, you happily shared your knowledge.

“See this one?” you sat down in front of a plant with thick, pointy stems and sharp edges. “Kiri and I discovered the use of it a while ago. It soothes burns, produces a cooling sensation.” You broke off a piece of the stem and cut it in half. A clear, gel-like liquid oozed out. You collected some on your fingers and you could swear you heard your foraging partner swallow. But before you had time to process whether he did, you reached for his arm to stroke some on it. “Feel that?” you smiled up at him.

“Yeah” he murmured before looking up at you. “That’s incredible.”

“I’m experimenting with it, to see if I can make turn it into an ointment somehow.”

Neteyam looked at you with hooded eyes. “If anyone can, it’s you.”

A blush spread across your cheeks. He had given you so many compliments tonight, it was hard to believe that this wasn’t one of your daydreams. Even harder when you observed the way his tanhì glowed in the moonlight, the way his braids fell to perfectly frame his face, his gentle smile, his golden eyes looking up at you from under his eyelashes again. The urge to be closer to him was overwhelming. Every fibre of your being longed for him, to feel his lips against yours. But you had to stay strong. He was forbidden territory. Kiri’s brother, the future clan leader, and most importantly; he wasn’t interested. And making any kind of move would ruin whatever it was that you two had.

So you cleared your throat and stood up. “After we get some of these, we should be set to head back” you said quietly, turning away from him.

The two of you quickly gathered the last plant and began walking back. But before you had gotten far you stumbled upon some of your favorite materials for making clothing. A small squeal of happiness left your lips as you bent down to scoop up some of the pebbles.

“Do these have a medical purpose?” Neteyam asked you curiously and picked some up himself.

“No” you admitted bashfully, placing the small white pebbles in your bag. “I use them to make beads and other decorations for my chest coverings.”

“Oh…” Neteyam’s eyes flitted downwards for a moment before he bent down to scoop some more pebbles into his hand to examine them further. “Is it hard to make beads out of them?”

“No” you shrugged. “Just time consuming.” Neteyam nodded slowly.

The two of you walked the rest of the way in silence. It had been such a nice evening and you desperately tried to remember that it was simply an outing between friends. You couldn’t get your hopes up over this one thing. He just came along to make sure you didn’t get lost out there…

“Hey” Neteyam stopped you with a hand on your elbow when the village appeared ahead. “Thank you for letting me come with you. I really needed to clear my head for a bit.”

Your ears perked in interest. “Oh?” His mood seemed to have dampened somewhat, judging by the way his eyes suddenly had darkened and his tail swished slightly when he looked at his family’s marui. “Can I ask why?” you probed gently. “Or is it too personal?” Whatever it was, a part of you really wanted, needed, to know.

Neteyam rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Mom and dad have been trying to have a conversation with me for a couple of days. A conversation I don’t really want to have.” He looked at his home, his cheeks a bit more violet than usual. You nodded gently for him to continue. He cleared his throat and refused to meet your gaze. “They want me to start looking for a mate.”

And just like that, you could feel cracks appearing in your heart. “Oh…” you whispered, now avoiding his gaze, as well. You had always known this day would come, but mentally preparing and being slapped in the face with it were two entirely different things.

“And it’s not that I don’t want a mate” he added hurriedly. “I do. I just don’t want to be rushed into any big decisions. Whoever I mate with will have to burden a lot of responsibility and I don’t want to force that on anyone. I know what’s like to have so much responsibility thrust upon you that you didn’t ask for.”

You nodded slowly, blinking furiously. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, but they had to stay away! You would not cry over the news that a friend was supposed to celebrate. Be supportive! “I’m sure whoever it will be will make a great tsahìk one day” you murmured, clutching your bag closer to your chest. “Since we’re here, I can take the bags to the healing hut.”

“I can help you with that!” Neteyam offered immediately, making you want to cry even more. But not now, not yet!

“No, no I’ll be fine” you lied, your voice a lot shakier than you would have liked. “Go home, Neteyam. I’m sure your parents are wondering where you are.” He reluctantly handed you the bag he was carrying. You gave him a forced smile. “Goodbye.”

You started to walk away before he could answer, desperate to get away. He called after you. “Goodbye Emmy!”

The tears finally spilled over. It felt like a ‘goodbye’ in more ways than one…

Let me know what you think!!!

[elihashadenough]

Pairing: max verstappen x male reader (could be read by masc presenting people)

Summary: sometimes things go right in the moment but will they always be right? can they survive through the hardships of love? can their love hold the test of a treacherous path of love?

a/n: part 7 is here, sorry if the upload was later then i usually post, i hope its longer than the previous one, i've been a little busy with some things and exams but here it is now. I hope this makes up for the short fic and disappearing for the past few weeks, been really invested in the races ngl :)

-> do not repost, copy or translate my works nor post them anywhere else. Read at your own risk. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated.

[series masterlist]

liked by ynln-official, redbullracing, mickschumacher and 993,135 others

maxverstappen1: thank you for all the love you have given me @ynln-official. Can’t wait to make more memories to cherish. Love you, max

view all 47,309 comments

ynln-official: love you so so much (heart emoji)         maxverstappen1: love you more

mickschumacher: so proud of you both, always have your back :)         ynln-official: thank you for always being there (never thought of you as someone sentimental *wipes tears*)         mickschumacher: don’t even

danielriccardo: oh we will be feeling like third wheels soon            landonorris: tell me about it            maxverstappen1: you two are acting like you weren’t already third wheeling

user63: get yourself someone who gets you flowers when you feel down people user37: facts!!

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, redbullracing and 978,811 others

ynln-official: 2 years together and your smile still has the same effect it did on day one, though we have known each other for longer than I can even remember but the memories we have made through them, I’ll always cherish them. I can’t wait to love you till the end of times (heart emoji) but that doesn’t hide the fact that we were outed, yes we technically work in the media but still it doesn’t give any news site or person to publish an article about someone’s relationship  no matter their sexuality. Outing someone (in any setting) is not acceptable should they be a public figure (adult or not) or a normal person. People should seriously be taught how to act like actual decent human beings in school at this point. Though I do want to say thank you for all the love everyone has shown both max and I, all the messages and comments of support meant a lot :)

view all 34,948 comments

maxverstappen1: I love you so much that charles gave me ‘if you hurt my friend’ talk again         ynln-official: that’s Charles for you, you know (shrug emoji)         charles_leclerc: you are still not off the hook max

user86: you tell them y/n!!! so proud of you

landonorris: I thought this was for max why is this making me tear up          georgerussel: in the same boat as you mate          maxverstappen1: and just imagine how I am right now

user57: this is serious??!! Watch them shove it in our faces now smh       user82: not so kindly fuck off dude        *liked by ynln-official*

user30: god the pictures they have used of each other... makes me feel single as hell       user13: them holding hands it’s just ahhhh

{a small snippet}

You opened the fridge to pull out vegetables for the stir fry, you could hear max in the other room working on something. With the vegetables now washed you grab the cutting board and knife to start cutting them up while the chicken defrosted, light music playing in the background as your focus was on the vegetables until someone’s arms wrapped around you making you smirk knowing it was max “I thought we were supposed to cook together” max says as he rested his chin on your shoulder “you were working and dinner was getting late so…” you said turning around in his arms to face him “well what are you making?” he asks as he picks up a green capsicum “just a stir-fry with rice…easy and quick” you say as you turn around again and begin cutting again, you don’t hear a response from him but max putting a wine glass on the counter and you hear a pop , you look at him with an eyebrow raised, he just looks at you before pouring the wine in the glasses “to us telling the world…and to our love” you couldn’t help but laugh a little before raising your glass and take a sip “I love you” you say as max smiled and kissed you softly “I love you too. Now what can I do to help you my love” he asks as he looks at the chicken “anything but the chicken” you shake your head and move from your spot “cut the vegetables” you say as you laugh “be careful of the knife” you add max’s hand touches the blade “I know how to use a knife y/n” he says “yet you are scared of raw chicken”

Light touches and laughter surrounded the two of you for the rest of the night. Though both of you knew the hate would be inevitable but right now nothing mattered to either of them except each other.

i haven't proof read this so if there were any mistakes, i'm sorry. But i hope you all enjoyed this. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤️

tagging: @leosxrealm, @miloformula123fan, @woozarts @eugene-emt-roe

[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk? | Part 1 |

Description: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well hello there besties! Alex stannies your time has come again because I’m back and this short series is going to be soooo much fun! This was inspired by a harry fic I read many moons ago and I just knew I needed to do a grumpy Alex fic. I started writing this fic on the 15th of December 2021 so it’s been a long time coming. That being said part 2 isn’t yet finished (blame @nriacc​ lol) but I felt we all needed a new Alex ficccc! Big thank you to the author of the harry fic for the inspiration, and to @red---moon​ and @alovesreading​ for helping me/ keeping me inspired for this one. I would loveeee to know what you all think so please give me your reactions! Just keep an eye out for the time jumps, it goes back and forth quite a bit but I hope it makes sense. Thanks a million for reading, hope you enjoy x

| My Masterlist |  

~*~*~*~ 29th June 2018 ~*~*~*~

Just do it Y/N. Be polite, stop being a child.

Internally, you’re debating pretending that you don’t need another drink and to go back to Katie and Kelly without a new one so you don’t have to suffer what’s bound to be another awful encounter. Alex is standing at the busy bar with his drink in his hand, and you’d think that after 8 years of knowing someone you’d feel comfortable enough to have a chat with them at their best mates birthday party. But no. Not with Alex.

He might just be the grumpiest person you’ve ever met. He’d never once started a conversation with you, it’s always been you making the effort with him since the day you met him.

Truthfully, your tendency to talk a lot more than you should when you’re nervous probably hasn’t helped that. You’d seen interviews of him over the years and it’s clear that he really didn’t like talking to anyone who he wasn’t close to. And you’re not stupid, just because Katie is your best friend doesn’t mean that you’re someone he has to converse with.

Of course over the years you’d seen each other a lot but you’d only had a handful of conversations with him. Frighteningly few of those conversations were just between the two of you, and you were happy with things staying like that.

But this time you’re going to have to brave it. You’d promised Katie you’d grab her another drink along with getting yourself a new one.

The bar is fairly busy with a few people standing around chatting as they wait for their drinks. A few people have been standing there for the majority of the evening in this decently sized function room.

Of course for Jamie’s birthday, and with the band being back off tour for a short break, Katie had thrown her husband an early birthday party because she’s the best wife possibly ever. You’d helped her plan it and sort everything out so she didn’t get too stressed like any best friend would do and you’re so glad everything has gone to plan and Jamie seems to be having a great night.

Equally, you’ve been having a great night too. Getting to see everyone again is fun. You’d not seen Miles for a while nor had you really seen any of the band because they’d been on tour but each time you saw them it was like no time had passed. Miles has always been your favourite to chat to, you think because the both of you are just as chatty as the other so you always feel at ease around him.

You’ve always had a tendency to talk someone's ear off and even more when you’re drinking or nervous. So tonight with you being both tipsy and nervous about seeing Alex standing at the bar, inconveniently for you the only free space being one beside him, you don’t want to go over.

But you need another drink.

Just fucking do it Y/N.

Taking a deep breath you bite the bullet and head over to the empty space at the bar. You’re hoping that you’ll get served immediately but by the looks of the bar staff looking around like headless chickens, you don’t think your prayers have been answered.

Reaching the bar, you put your empty glass back down on the sturdy wooden surface and wait patiently for the bartenders to serve you.

“Hey.” You greet Alex as you turn to face him.

You smile once his eyes meet yours and you see the flicker of recognition in them. You expect a smile or something along those lines from someone you’ve known for almost a decade but no.

All you get from Alex though is a quick, “Hi.” before he glances back towards the rest of the party.

After a second of silence, you have to ask, “How are you?”

“Yeah, good thanks.” Alex smiles before taking a sip of his drink and looking away from you as if he’s searching for someone else to talk to.

Wow, great chat. Why do you actually still bother Y/N?

You make eye contact again and you can feel the tightness in your chest building as if storing up all the shitty conversations you want to blurt out to get rid of the silence. But you also don’t want to annoy him. So you don’t mention anything about the goatee that he’s grown since the last time you saw him. You want to be nice and complement him but you seriously don’t think you can survive the awkwardness of you doing that.

Thankfully you don’t have to think about it for much longer because someone else caught his attention.

Alex’s eyes flicked from yours to someone coming up behind you and you hear a male voice excitedly saying, “Alex, hey!”

A grin comes to the singer's lips then and you watch him as he enthusiastically asks, “Hey man, you alright?”

You've never seen the guy who’s taken Alex's attention before but it seems like they are friends. From Alex’s smile and the way they just shook hands you assume they must be, “Yeah good thanks, where’ve you all come back from?”

“Middle of the month we were in the States, then we went Germany, and we flew back from Denmark yesterday.” Alex explains enthusiastically and you can only imagine him ever being that engaged in a conversation you had with him.

“Christ, and you’re here now.” The guy shakes his head in disbelief, “I don’t know how you do it.”

You tune out of their conversation then and glance back at the bar. You really want your drinks so you can leave before the guy leaves and it gets awkward again.

It’s not that you want to be his best mate or anything close to that, you’d just love not to feel nervous around him all the time. In the beginning the nerves were probably due to you being a fan of the music and you’d never met him before.

Jamie was the most normal person so you didn’t quite believe Katie when she first told you that her boyfriend at the time was in Arctic Monkeys. But then you met him and clearly found she was telling the truth.

You’d met all the band by the end of the year and you got on well with them at various after parties that Katie had dragged you along to in your mid twenties. But Alex has always been quiet and marginally grumpy with you since day one.

Probably your nervous chatter that did it the first time considering he said ‘hi’ to you and nothing else. He just listened to you rambling on until he was pulled away by someone much more important than yourself.

But over the years you got to know him, even if it wasn’t directly through him.

Katie fed you all of her gossip as she thinks of you as her most trusted confidant so when someone in the band annoys her and she can’t show how annoyed she is to Jamie, she’ll have you over for a wine night. So you’re aware of everything that’s just happened between him and Taylor and a certain french bitch.

If he hadn’t have left the French bitch as what she was, a stupid fucking fling, you think Katie may have killed him. She was really close with Taylor and after finding out about the cheating she was round at your house for days trying to yell all her anger away. Obviously she didn’t want to make things more awkward by airing her current murderous feelings towards Alex to Jamie so you’re the one who heard it all.

Of course you disapprove of what he did too. But it’s not your place to have an opinion. You’re just there for Katie. But you have to admit, for Alex’s sake, you’re glad he just left the French girl. Katie would have murdered him if he started seeing her as something more.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by the guy who was talking to Alex accidently bumping your shoulder as he was turning round to head back to whoever he was with. After he apologised and you promised him it was fine, back comes the uncomfortable silence that hangs between you and Alex.

He makes eye contact with you again as he sips on his drink, the smile previous on his lips now gone, and you can feel that you’re about to start nervously chatting to him. So you’re eternally grateful for the voice from behind the bar.

“Hi,” The bartender grabs your attention, “What can I get you?”

Thank you, God.

“Can I get two Amarettos on ice please?” You ask for two of your own drink because you don’t want to come back over if the grumpy fucker beside you is still over here.

The bartender preps the glasses and adds ice before he grabs the bottle of Disaronno and the double ended measure before asking, “Singles or doubles?”

“Doubles please.” You smile and watch as he pours them.

You’re glad he isn’t stingy with his measures because you don’t want to come back for a while, and after pushing the drinks towards you, the bartender asks, “Anything else?”

Smiling, you politely ask, “Can I get a large glass of Montepulciano please?”

“Yeah sure…” You watch as the guy looks around for a second and you know from his irritated expression what’s coming before he even says it. “I’m just going to grab another bottle from the cellar, I’ll be just a minute.”

You smile, “Okay, thank you.” as you can’t even change which wine you’re after because he’s already gone. You feel bad as the guy disappears off but you can feel the nerves bubbling back up inside you.

The silence falls once again, and despite the room being busy and there being a lot of people-watching you could do, you feel like because you’ve known Alex for so long you should be trying to converse with him. You really wish you didn’t care about uncomfortable atmospheres but you can’t really help but avoid it with Alex, you wish you could get over it.

Both of you are awkwardly standing beside each other once more with nothing to say and you can’t stand the stiff air between the both of you. So you end up doing what you do best when tipsy and nervous: You talk.

“I know you don’t like me very much, but I really rate your music and I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.” You begin to nervously digress looking Alex straight in the eye, needing to get rid of the silence between you. You hesitate before oversharing, “I say that, but it took me a long while to get into your new album but I like it now. Think it’s the one I listen to most actually.”

“Right, thanks.” Alex nods, before adding in a little confusion, “At least, I think that was a compliment.”

“Yeah it was.” You nod, your mouth unable to stop from rambling now. “I know my opinion means fuck all in the grand scheme of things but I just thought ‘give credit where it’s due’, right?”

Stop talking Y/N/N, you’re embarrassing yourself.

“Right.” Alex smiles at you, but you can’t help but feel a little stupid under his gaze.

You’ve told Jamie time and time again how you felt about his music, but never once have you felt this awkward about it. It really is just a reaction to Alex at this point because you could tell he just doesn't want to know.

However, just as he looks like he’s about to say something else, probably him finally telling you to leave him alone, you’re saved from whatever it was. Whilst your blundering conversation took place the bartender had returned and had poured Katie’s glass of red and it’s ready and waiting just in front of you.

“That comes to twenty-two all together, please.” The bar man asks and you happily give him your undivided attention as you take a £20 and a £5 note from your purse and hand it over.

“Keep the change.” You smile at the bartender who looks pleased with the tip you’d just given and as you pick up your alcohol carefully you glance back to Alex who’s clearly only watching you because there’s no one else around taking up his time.

He probably wants you to get a move on so he can chat to someone who actually peaks his interest. You half smile at him as you politely say, “Can’t keep the birthday boy’s wife waiting for her drink any longer. See you later.”

“See ya Y/N.” He nods, sounding just as disinterested as when you started the conversation.

Christ. Get me out of here.  

Thankfully for the rest of the night Alex is easily avoidable. Most people want his attention all the time so even if he joins a conversation that you’re involved in, he gets ripped away from it.

Miles keeps you entertained for a good portion of the evening, both of you chatting more as you drink more and more. Closer to the end of the night, Jamie gets up and does a speech thanking everyone for coming and that’s when Alex comes up beside you and Miles.

You just about hear him say to Miles that he’s just paid for a drink for him at the bar and for him to go and choose what he wants and then once again, Alex is left standing beside you with a full beer in his hand as you both listen to Jamie’s short and sweet speech.

Obviously, the guitarist brings up his lovely wife and thanks her for everything. Jamie gives Katie a stunning bunch of flowers which you can instantly tell that she loves, but as he hands the microphone over to her, Alex grabs your attention.

“Why do you think I don’t like you?” You're shocked as you hear that question fall from his lips, but you don’t hesitate to be honest with him.

You’re a little taken aback if you’re honest. He may as well have just shouted it at you because you’re genuinely that shocked by the question despite his voice being just above a whisper.

“Erm,” You swirl your drink around the glass before looking up into his brown eyes, “You never say more than a few words to me whenever I see you.”

Jesus, this is fucking awkward.

You see him frown a little then though, and after a second's thought, he asks, “That makes you think I don’t like you?”

“Well, it doesn’t make me think that you’re overly fond of having a conversation with me.” You say with a little chuckle of disbelief as to why you had to say it outloud. “And you’ve never tried to get to know me like the rest of your friends have and whenever I try with you, I don’t get much of a response.”

“Never intended for it to come across like that.” Alex tells you, and he does look like he feels bad, but it’s not like you’re holding it against him. So you don’t need his, “Sorry.”

All your brain is telling you right now is ‘Avoid confrontation at all costs’. You’re really not equipped to have that conversation with him drunk but you did tell him the truth.

“Don’t be.” You shake your head before looking back at Katie, “It is what it is.”

You can still feel his eyes on you and you’re half sure you hear him say the start of your name but your attention is clearly ripped away from him when Katie say’s your name down the microphone.

“Y/N,” She grins at you gesturing for you to come to her, and you see Jamie now holding a bunch of flowers that turns out to be for you, “Couldn’t have done this without you Hun. I had to get you these.”

You shake your head and go over to thank and hug her, leaving Alex watching after you. He just stays in his head and drinks his drink, silently processing your previous words.

~*~*~*~ January 26th 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” Jamie shouts as he runs through the front door and quickly starts routing around for whatever it is he’s looking for.

Katie says a surprised, “Hi?” and you can see and hear the distaste that he’s back so early.

Tonight Katie had invited you round once Forrest had gone to bed because Jamie was meant to be out for the evening with the lads. She needed a wind down after a long week of work and looking after her toddler whilst Jamie was away doing PR for the new album.

You’re both half way through your first bottle of red wine as Jamie now comes scurrying into the lounge, almost frantically searching around for something. You find it quite funny too because he definitely hadn’t noticed you sitting in his lounge.

That changes a second later when comes towards you and pulls out the messy drawer on the side table just near you. He smiles quickly, “Hey Y/N, good to see you.”

“And you Jamie” You grin, seeing his wife still waiting for him to announce why he’s intruded on your night in.

After scurrying around the lounge, clearly trying to find whatever it is he’s lost, she asks, “What are you doing back here?”

“I forgot my wallet.”

You’re desperately trying not to laugh at Katie’s silent sigh, or when she lets out an annoyed, “You left the door open J.”

You look towards their door and you can see it’s half open, letting all the precious heat inside their cosy house out. The winter air is absolutely freezing and it’s causing a draft that both you and Katie can feel without coats on.

“Al, you tosser!” Jamie shouts as he continues looking around for his wallet, “Don't wait outside come and help me find it, you prick!”

You can almost hear Alex’s sigh as he steps into the house, “Not my fault you left it here.”

“Alex, please come in and shut the door.” Katie waves him in from her seat, “It’s fucking freezing.”

He sighs a little as he says, “Yes, Miss Cook.” before closing the door and walking into the house with his coat wrapped tightly around him.

He looks like he doesn’t want to be out of his own space, let alone be here. He’s not smiling like he usually is when he sees Katie and he’s practically rolling his eyes watching Jamie run around like a headless chicken.

“Ignore him. He didn’t want to come out at all.” Jamie shakes his head as he walks around the lounge and back around the corner to the hall where he came in and heads past Alex and up the stairs.

Katie continues talking to you about your previous conversation and Alex just stands under the open arch between the hall and the lounge. Or that is until you all hear a loud bang come from upstairs.

A few seconds later all of you hear Jamie make another loud bang and Katie inhales sharply through her nose. Annoyance is bubbling through her system when you all hear him say “Shit.” from upstairs, clearly very loudly.

“He better shut the fuck up or he’s going to wake Forrest up.” Katie looks at you with a death glare that’s definitely meant for her husband.

Katie gets herself up from her seat opposite you and walks past Alex to half mute her voice as she yells, “Jamie!”

“Don’t mind me,” She looks from Alex back to you as she half smiles, “I'm just gonna go kill my husband.”

Alex chuckles at that and you let out a little giggle before taking another sip of your wine as you hear your best friend walk up the stairs. That leaves a silence between you and Alex and one that you’re itching to fill. You hate that it’s always awkward between you both.

After taking another sip of your wine, you politely ask, “How are you?”

“Good, thank you.” Alex nods, walking towards the wood burning fireplace that Katie was lighting when you arrived.

You debate mentioning that his hair is a lot longer since the last time you saw him, but you decide not to. The last thing you want is to make anything more awkward, so you go for something that he’s used to talking a bit more about.

“You enjoying the build up to the album release?” You ask, praying the conversation will being to flow a little easier.

But all you get is a half hearted, “Yeah. It’s been alright so far.” as he crouches by the fire and puts another piece of wood onto it.

“Good good.” You smile despite him not even looking your way.

… And nothing. No follow up question about you, not even a smile.

You’re sure he hates you. There’s absolutely no other possible explanation for why he would make things this uncomfortable for you both if he didn’t. You can’t stand uncomfortable silences which makes you more nervous and the need to chat takes over again.

You’d think that someone who does interviews for a living would know how to make people feel comfortable and you know for a fact that he does. You’ve seen a fair few in your time being their friend, and you’d seen Alex interact with his friends and his fans. You have no idea why he makes life so awkward for you.

You try again, hoping to ease your awkwardness by asking him about something he enjoys.

“How did you find writing this one?” Is the only thing you can come up with that you’re genuinely curious about, “I think Jamie mentioned that you got writer's block or something for a while, is that true or was he bullshitting me? Because you’ve always seemed to write and record really quickly from an outsider's perspective.”

“Yeah,” Alex nods with a sigh, still not even glancing at you, making you wish you never asked, “Was difficult at the beginning, got there in the end.”

Wow.

Amazing.

Enthralling story.

Taking another sip of your drink, the uncomfortable tension feels like it's suffocating you and you’ll do literally anything to ease it. Blabbing on about where they are going seems to be the direction you take.

“Where are you being dragged out tonight? Just to the George and Dragon,” which is about a 2 minute walk from here, “Or are you going into town?”

“Heading into town I think.” Alex stands himself back up and tucks his hands back into his pockets, glancing at you as he walks back to the centre of the lounge.

After taking a sip of your wine, you politely ask, “Anywhere nice?”

“No idea.” He shakes his head.

Smiling, you try to make light of the situation. “You really don’t wanna go, do you?”

“No,” Alex shakes his head, and says under his breath probably not meaning for you to hear, but you do, “I don’t even want to be here.”

To you that’s another way of saying shut the fuck up. Biting your tongue after that is difficult, but it's easier than letting him make you feel like shit again.

After drinking your last mouthful of wine, you get yourself up and out of this uncomfortable situation. You don’t bother telling him where you’re going as you doubt he cares but you’re just thankful that you don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Disappearing to the Cook’s downstairs toilet, you’re glad when you hear Jamie race down the stairs a minute or two later, shouting, “Right Al, come on. Let’s go.”

As you open the door and make your way back round to the hall, you hear Jamie say bye to Katie, followed by Alex politely saying goodbye to Katie. He gives her a hug and his eyes make contact with yours as he slips out, not even nodding a ‘bye’ as he leaves, closing the front door behind him.

“Hiding again?” Katie turns to grin at you, knowing just how uncomfortable you find interactions with Alex after years of the same behaviour.

“He’s so awkward.” You nod laughing, but you’ve got better things to be thinking about tonight. “Come on babes, I need another glass of wine.”

Thank fuck for that.

~*~*~*~ 21st September 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Y/N, Hey!”

“Jamieee.” You grin, walking towards his open arms so you can give him a hug.

You walk into his arms and you appreciate the tight hold he traps you in. As you give him a squeeze, the guitarist says, “Missed seeing you in my house.”

You can’t help but chuckle a little at that. After greeting Nick and Kelly as you walked in with Katie, you couldn’t wait to see Jamie backstage tonight. Matt unfortunately doesn’t seem to be around this communal area just yet but you're grateful for the lead singer's absence.

“Ahh well, I've been there more than you.” You tease him, his tour has been so long it feels like forever since you last saw him, “I’ll be sleeping in your bed next.”

“Surprised you don’t some nights,” Jamie laughs as he releases you from the embrace, “You’re both piss heads.”

You can’t help but laugh and nod. You just end up shrugging, “Well, red wine calls us both.”

Both you and Katie can’t help it. You’re just living your best lives and the wine nights you share are the highlight of your week.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” You grin at Jamie.

You’re actually thrilled you’ve been invited to their gig tonight. Them being back home in Sheffield must be awesome for them and the fact that they have four shows back to back at the FlyDSA arena makes you happy too. It’s a proper homecoming. And after a stressful week this is definitely what you needed to let loose a bit.

“Oh, I’m not the one that you need to thank.” Jamie smiles and you think nothing of it, assuming Katie’s told him you have to come.

She usually does that when she’s invited somewhere anyway. She really likes taking you out with her and sometimes out of your comfort zone.

Katie calls you over to the fridge in the communal area where she asks you what you want to start the night off with. You’re shocked as to how much alcohol is in the fridge, there’s got to be at least 30 cans of beer and there’s also wine in there. Bottles of red are left on the side beside it too.

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe they get this much stuff every night.” Your eyes go a little wide seeing the fridge.

Katie laughs at that, “I know they are greedy, I’ll have a route to see what there is.”

You watch her astounded at just how much alcohol is in there. But your attention moves to the scouser who’s just walked through the door.

“Y/N.” Miles calls your name from across the room and you grin when you turn to see him.

“Course they had you come for their home shows.” You laugh, throwing your arms around him.

You adore Miles. He’s been a good friend for a long time and you feel really comfortable around him. Unlike his best friend, Miles seems to listen to what you have to say and he’s interested in it.

It meant that you’d been close for a long while and he always makes an effort to check in with you every month which you love him for. He’s honestly such a good person and you think the world of him.

“I’ve been here the past two days and I’ve been asking for you.” Miles informs you, “I was going to text you but Katie said you were busy?”

“Yeah sorry, I’ve had some planning to do for work and had to see family the last few days.” You shake your head, not wanting to think about all that right now. You grin at Miles, clearing your head, “So glad to be here now.”

“Ooo Y/N/N,” Katie gets your attention and she has a big grin on her face as she tells you, “There's a full bottle of Amaretto in here. Not seen this before.”

“Oooo amazing.” You grin, selfishly loving the fact you won’t have to pay for your own drinks until the after party later.

Miles traps you in another conversation whilst Katie makes you your drink. Before she pours your drink though, she can’t help but wonder why the bottle is there in the first place.

“J?” Katie calls her husband over and when he’s standing beside her, she asks him, “When did you add this to your rider?”

“I didn’t know we did.” Jamie frowns in confusion looking at the bottle of Disaronno. He knows no one in the band drinks it so he asks his wife, “Why? Who drinks it?”

“Y/N does.” Katie tells him, ”It's her favourite.”

“Well, happy days then.” Jamie smiles and shrugs it off, thinking nothing of it.  

Drinks flow for a while after that. Now you’ve had two glasses of your favourite, you really feel like it’s a Friday night and you can finally have a bit of fun.

That thought slowly dies though when Alex comes into the room with Matt in tow. You’d seen him a few times since the night you couldn’t get an Uber home from the Cook’s house and he walked you home but he still wasn’t all that chatty with you.

It was a little easier but you were still the one making all the effort and actively trying to make conversation with him. You can’t imagine anything different happening tonight, christ, you’ve still not mentioned to him that you like his new buzzcut.  

In fact, you imagine he’ll be a little worse because he’s got everyone who he wants around him and you’re just Katie’s plus one. Thankfully you’re distracted for a minute by the bubbly man that is Matt Helders.

He’s a gooden too. You do love him but you can’t lie, he made a questionable decision with his love life. Why anyone would leave Breana you have no idea.

Like Katie’s rants about Alex doing the dirty on Taylor, you heard the same rants for her about Matt cheating on Breana. Once again, it wasn’t really your place to have an opinion so you just let her rant at you.

But Matt had always been lovely to you, so obviously you wouldn’t bring the things you heard about him into your dynamic. You chat to the drummer for a few minutes and he makes you laugh countless times at how tipsy he is.

You genuinely don’t know how he can perform for two hours when he’s like this before. But you can’t blame him, and he seems to be having fun and you know he’ll put on a good show.

Matt wonders off to grab himself another drink leaving you alone at the side of the now busy room. But you don’t mind people watching, it’s quite a good pass time for someone like you who doesn’t like awkward encounters. Anything to keep you from rambling on like you always do when you’re drunk and nervous.

Your eyes mostly roam over the people you don’t know, you find them more interesting to try and figure out. Guess which members of the band they know and how they’re friends.

But your people watching hobby fucks you over royally. As you eyes glance over at who Alex is chatting too, the singer's eyes connect with yours and you avert your gaze immediately.

You honestly just can’t deal with the awkwardness today. You need more alcohol to deal with that. Being drunk was the only reason you survived that walk home with him.

But turns out you’re not so lucky, because when you glance back, Alex is on his way over to you which almost makes you spit your drink out. What the fuck?

Miles, your absolute saviour, runs into his best friend though and wraps him into a hug which you can’t help but laugh at. He kisses his cheek which makes Alex laugh and the smile lingers on his face after Miles tells him whatever it is he needs to tell him.

They chat for a minute and you just find yourself watching them. They chat so easily. It really makes you wonder what you’ve done to piss Alex off so much that it seems like he couldn’t care less if you were in the room with him or not.

If you had to bet, it would be your nervous rambling. But that’s not your fault. That’s your shyness taking over and your hatred of awkward silences.

Your jaw almost falls open though when Alex smiles at you from over Miles shoulder, and even more so when he moves around his best mate as greets you, “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey,” You say, a little surprised that he’s stopped his conversation with Miles to come over.

“How’ve you been?” He asks, which makes you want to pinch yourself.

Did he really just ask me how I was before I asked him?

You just about manage to smile as you say, “Yeah I’m great, how are you?”

“Good thanks, excited for the gig.” The singer smiles, and you can’t help but find it unnerving that he’s giving you his undivided attention. Alex follows up like he’s curious, “I didn’t think you were coming to any shows?”

“Oh no.” You shake your head, thinking Katie must have forgotten to tell the lads she invited you. “What's better than a gig, right?”

“Right.” Alex smiles, and it shocks you because it actually seems genuine, “Glad you could make it.”

Is he drunk? Why is he talking to me? He’s glad I could make it????? What now?

You smile at each other then. But your brain is all too aware that after two seconds there’s nothing more to say. So as you try to stop yourself from getting skittish, or making it more awkward.

“You been enjoying the tour?” You ask him, but you don’t give him any time to reply because you start your nervous talking, “I’ve seen a few videos and they’ve been good. Four Out Of Five seems to really pop off. I like that one, might be my favourite off the new album actually. But I really like One Point Perspective too.”

“Good choices.” Alex chuckles and you can’t help but silently scorn yourself for being awkward.

God, you wish you could have one normal interaction with him.

“Oh,” Alex’s eyes seem to light up for a second before he tells you, “Follow me a second, got something for you.”

You frown at him, not believing what he said in the slightest. You ask in confusion, “Me?”

“Yeah.” Alex nods and turns with a gesture for you to follow him.

The shock of it is what actually makes you move. You can’t help but whisper a small, “Oh.” though.

He surely has to be drunk?

But what’s mind-boggling is that he really isn’t. On the way out Miles asked him if he wanted another drink and Alex responded yes and added ‘this is only my first, definitely need one more before I go on’.

He leads you out of the room everyone was in and around the corner to where a group of the crew guys are. There’s a quiet word exchanged with who you assume to be the main crew guy and you watch from behind Alex as the guy nods at him and a second later he hands the lead singer something.

You shake your head as soon as you see Alex turn back to you and hold up the AAA pass that’s hanging from the lanyard he’s trying to give you.

“Oh Alex, I don't need that.” You shake your head, “I like watching from the arena.”

Half of them in that room watch from a box which is where you expected to be watching from. It’s no issue to you where you are in the arena, it’s nice enough you were invited by Katie to come tonight for free. Christ knows you wouldn’t have been able to get a ticket on Ticketmaster.

“Come on,” Alex presses on, “I’ve never seen you back here.”

Because you really like watching from the arena. You’ve never been at the side of the stage and you’re not sure if you want to be. You’ll just feel like you’re in the way.

You try to argue your point, “But-”

“No buts,” Alex smiles as he puts the lanyard over your head so it falls around your neck like a necklace. The singer continues, “You can’t be leaving Katie on her own. She’s been missing you for the last two weeks. I’m sure Jamie will like you being at the side of the stage too.”

He gives your shoulders an encouraging squeeze and the smile on his face makes you believe that you’ve swapped bodies with Katie for a hot second. He’s never talked to you like this before.

“Thanks Alex.” You smile sheepishly, not really knowing what else to do other than accept in this situation, “You really didn’t have to do that.”

The singer shakes his head like he doesn’t need your thanks. He just smiles at you and says, “It's nice seeing you here.”

It goes silent for a second then between you and your mind scrambles for something to talk about so this surprisingly good interaction doesn’t take a turn for the worst. You’re thankful it’s not your rambling that ends the conversation though.

Someone from the crew a bit further down the hall shouts Alex’s name then which makes the both of you turn to look at where the voice came from. You both see someone wave and then they tap their ear at the same time they almost do the Asda Price bum tap thing.

Whatever it is goes straight over your head. But Alex seems to understand because he nods and holds up a finger telling him one minute.

“Sorry to be a pain,” Alex says as he turns back to you, “They are shouting me for something about my mic pack.”

“It’s okay.” You smile.

Alex smiles back at you, and he says, “See ya in a bit Y/N, hope you enjoy the show.”

“Always do.” You smile and as you turn back around, you say, “Break a leg.”

The singer just smiles at you and you head your separate ways.

Great. Now you just sound like a fucking suck up. Go and get another drink Y/N/N. For fucks sake.

~*~*~*~

Surprisingly, that isn’t your only interaction with Alex tonight. During the short interval between the encore, when they came off stage both Alex and Matt came over and talked to you whilst Nick and Jamie spoke to their wives.

You were tipsy at that point so you started chatting their ear off like you usually did and Matt of course entertained you, but what surprised you most is that Alex was actually smiling. He actually seemed interested in what you had to say - even if it was just nervous bullshit - and he didn’t try to look for someone else to talk to which was very surprising to you. But that was probably just because Matt was there though.

Expecting that to be it, you didn’t give the singer much thought other than that. Knowing that you’re all going into town after this with quite a lot of people settles your nervous energy. You’ll probably have Katie and Kelly to yourself for most of the night because of their men interacting with everyone who wants to speak to them.

And for the most part you’re right about that. Katie gets you drunk, to the point where you’ve had to stop drinking for about an hour so you don’t throw up in the toilets. But the party is still in full swing and you - along with everyone else - have had a nice night.

You’ve just come back from the toilet and you’re looking around for Katie who has now disappeared from the table you were previously at. Kelly had gone home a little earlier, leaving Nick here to have his fun, so you and Katie had been chatting the night away and you’ll be getting a taxi with her back home because you live a 10 minute walk away from her house.

You just take your seat back at the table you were previously sitting on and pull your phone out. The last thing you wanted to do was interrupt anyone else's conversation so you were happy waiting for Katie to find her way back to you.

Sitting there, your still tipsy mind is paying no real attention to what you’re seeing on Instagram. You do find yourself singing along to the Tame Impala song that's playing in the room which you can just about hear over the noise of the busy chattering.

“Hey,” Alex's voice startles you out of your thoughts as he comes and sits himself down next to you with a smile on his face as he asks, “You enjoy the show?”

“Hey, yeah,” You nod, taking a deep breath to stop your shocked heart from giving out. Smiling, you tell him, “Well done.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Alex grins back at you, and he places a glass down in front of you, “Got you a drink.”

“Oh,” Your eyes go a little wide looking at the whisky glass he’s put down in front of you, “Thank you.”

You pick it up and swirl the liquid around the two ice cubes and initially you thought it was whisky like he’s currently drinking, but you notice the liquid is lighter and a little thicker. Is this your favourite liqueur?

And the singer confirms that it is your favourite drink when he must notice you glancing at your drink. He brings you out of your thoughts and you look back at him as he speaks.

“You drink Amaretto on the rocks when you’re out, right?” Alex nods down to your drink like he’s worried he got it wrong.

“Yeah, yeah.” You nod, completely baffled that he knew that about you, but you smile nonetheless, “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me that.”

Christ, what a good guess on his part.

Alex smiles, “Least I can do.”

You take a sip of the drink and you can’t help but love the taste of it. And after not drinking for an hour or so, the taste is lovely and refreshing on your tongue.

“Did you enjoy your show?” You ask to fill the silence between you.

Granted the noise in the busy room makes his absence of conversation not as bad, but you hate the awkward feeling in your chest. Talking always makes it feel better and your tipsy self can’t control what you say anyway.

“I bet you don’t hear that a lot, or I guess you might.” You ramble, “But I imagine, with performing like that, you just get a lot of people telling you that they enjoyed themselves despite you maybe not feeling it was your best or whatever.”

You notice his lip twitch up at that and you feel like you’ve just shot yourself in the foot. “Sorry, that made it sound like I’m saying you were shit. I’m not. You weren’t. I’m just saying, bet you don’t really get asked a lot. So yeah, um, sorry.”

After the singer takes another sip of his drink, he smiles, “You don’t need to apologise… Yeah, I enjoyed myself. It was probably the best night this week.”

You nod at that, taking another sip of your Amaretto before you open your mouth again, “That’s good. I guess it makes the home shows more special. Has anywhere ever beaten home shows? I imagine all the UK ones are pretty special with you all literally travelling around the world.”

“God, big question.” Alex chuckles a little, before looking at the ceiling as if the answer was written up there. He comes back with, “I think home shows are the rowdiest and loudest which is fun. I think the best ever was Glastonbury though.”

You grin, “Which one? First or second time?”

“Full of good questions.” Alex smiles before he swirls his glass around as he thinks which reminds you of something else entirely.

“Oh,” You practically giggle, which brings his attention back to you, “You make me laugh when you do that ‘losing your train of thought’ thing on stage. Wasn’t aware that an Arctic Monkeys show is actually shitty stand up comedy these days.”

“Offended you think it's shit.” Alex scoffs which makes you drunkenly giggle.

As you finish laughing you shrug and tell him, “Was better in the days that you did the kung fu fighting thing still.”

“Damn,” Alex shakes his head, “Need to step my game back up. Any other suggestions?”

You think about it for a second and you’re just about to give him a long spiel of awkward suggestions that probably should never leave your mouth. But they thankfully don’t because the most gorgeous wife in the world comes back over and grabs your attention.

“Hey Y/N,” Katie grins at you with her coat folded over her arm and she asks, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” You nod, grabbing your coat from just beside you, “Yeah.”

As you slip your coat on and finish your drink in a quick mouthful, Alex keeps Katie entertained.

“Mrs Cook.” Alex grins, taking a sip of his beer after calling her out, “You lightweight.”

You have an amused grin on your face as she frowns at him, “Some of us have kids to look after in the morning, Turner.”

“I’m so glad I'm not you right now.” You laugh honestly.

The last thing you’d want was to be hungover and then have to get up early to deal with kids in the morning. Definitely not happening any time in your near future.

“You and me both.” Alex chuckles before he glances back at Katie. “Did you have a good night Mrs Cook.”

“Stop calling me Mrs Cook, you make me feel old.” She playfully scorns him.

“You are old.” Alex fires back just as cocky as she was, pointing out some fair points, “You’ve been married for half a decade and you have a child.”

Katie scowls at the singer then, and she fires back, “Well at least I don’t have a fucking ugly orange settee where I choose to live.”

You have to laugh at that. You’ve heard about how weird and wonderful this sofa is. You know she’s hated it ever since she’d seen it when he moved in, but Alex apparently likes how his furnished flat came. So he’s not changing it.

Alex argues back, with a look of determination, “It matches the blue walls.”

“Your flat looks like a pop art painting.” Katie fires back, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t have pretty things like that because your kid will draw on it.” Alex defends himself with a grin, before adding his final joking remarks, “And you’re boring because you have your Mum brain on all the time.”

“At least she’s a milf.” You grin at her, “It’s very lucky Jamie is away so much. Get her all to myself.”

Katie burst out laughing at that and you hear Alex chuckle at you too. Not that you’ll remember any of this tomorrow, you can practically feel the memories already leaving your mind.

Christ, that one extra drink has really done you over. You feel just as drunk again. God you already don’t want the hangover tomorrow.

Katie tells you that she’s going to go and find a few people to say goodbye to and that she’ll meet you over by the door in a few minutes. So you politely ask Alex to let you up from the booth you’re in and he does so without any argument.

As you stand in front of him, the singer wonders aloud, “You’re coming tomorrow, right?”

“Oh I, um,” You don’t really know what to say other than, “I didn’t know I was invited?”

The last thing you wanted to do was be in the way again. Because god knows at some points tonight when the crew was running around you, Katie, and Kelly you felt like you were in the way. And you never want to outstay your welcome anyway.

“Course you are,” Alex tells you, and he says as if it’s obvious, “You’ve been on the guestlist all week, Y/N.”

“Oh.” You say, a little dumbfounded because you really didn’t know and his gaze still makes you feel a little uneasy.

Well if Katie had told you she’d done that for you you might have been able to come a few dates earlier. Or maybe not considering it’s still been a little awkward tonight with Alex, you’re grateful for the conversations you’ve had though.

But you won’t remember your discussions with him because you’ve had so much to drink. And tomorrow you’ll blame your hangover on Katie for more than likely asking Jamie to put the Disaronno in his rider.  

“You don’t have to,” Alex backtracks a little, but it’s nonchalant and you think nothing of it anyway. He follows it up with, “Just thought that you usually spend your saturday nights with Katie and she's here anyway. You’re welcome to come again.”

How kind of him. He must have been abducted by aliens and this is a nicer clone. There's absolutely no other explanation to your tipsy mind.

“Thanks, yeah,” You nod and the singer smiles at you when you confirm, “I’ll be there.”

Because you won’t be turning down free live music or alcohol any time soon.

You glance at the door and notice Katie giving Jamie a kiss so you figure it’s time to get going yourself. You look back at Alex and he smiles knowing what you must already be thinking.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N/N.” Alex grins and you give him a smile and a small ‘bye’ as you turn to leave.

But the singer shouts your name after you take a few steps away, so when you turn back to him, he answers your earlier question, “First time. First Glastonbury blew my mind.”

All you seem to be able to do in response to that is grin. You nod a little before saying, “See you tomorrow Alex.”

~*~*~*~ 20th August 2018 ~*~*~*~

“I want to cry, the Uber cancelled again.” Katie whines, pouting slightly as she looks out of the window at the rain.

“Just our luck for not booking a proper taxi in advance.” Jamie sighs, scorning himself for not thinking better of it earlier.

Tonight you, Katie, Jamie, and Alex had been out separately but you’d all convened back together at the Cook household so Jamie’s parents could be relieved of babysitting duties. You and Katie shared another bottle of wine and gossiped for another 2 hours whilst the boys drank their beer and chipped into the conversation now and again.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Alex tells them, “We don’t live that far away.”

“Yeah, I’ll just brave the cold.” You assure Katie, and add in a little jest using air quotes, “At least it’s ‘summer’ and not snowing.”

“But the rain.” Katie points to the window.

Yeah walking home at the end of the night in the rain can be a little shit. But it was nothing you’d not done before. Granted you were like 21 the last time you’d done that but it’s really not the end of the world.

“It’s not heavy, I'll be okay.” You promise her to try and ease her worries, “At least I’ll go home looking like a drowned rat and not the other way around.”

You grab your coat from near the door and Katie follows you saying, “You can’t walk home on your own at three am, Y/N.”

“I’ll be fine.” You tell her as you slip your shoes back on.

Alex shocks both you and Katie to your cores when he says, “I’ll walk her home.”

Katie mustn’t be able to believe her ears because she asks, “What?”

You almost laugh, because she sounds like she’s as shocked as she was when Alex walked in on your wine night with Jamie and Nick the other month and she first saw his buzzed hair cut.

“We live the same way with about five minutes between us.” Alex points out, and he looks at you and nods, “I’ll walk you home.”

So that is how you’re currently walking from the Cook’s house to your own with Alex by your side.

Since Jamie’s party when he came up to you and asked why you didn’t think he liked you, the singer had surprisingly been a little better with you. He said hello to you and he seemed to engage a little more.

He’s still quiet around you, but you’ve noticed now that he goes like that around most people he doesn’t really know that well. You guess you can’t really change that though considering whenever you start asking him questions he doesn’t really give you much of an answer.

You’ve come to terms with that thought which is why you’re biting your tongue as you walk beside him. The urge to start asking him a bunch of questions is really strong but you’d rather not have the sinking feeling in your chest when you just receive one word answers back.

To occupy yourself as you’ve been walking the past few minutes, you’ve been running over the lyrics of your favourite song in your head. Alex seems to be in his head as it is so you don’t feel too bad as you walk despite the strong urge to rid yourself of the awful silence between you.

All you really focus on is making sure the umbrella that Katie lent you keeps you dry. Alex had a coat with a hood and even when you offered to share the umbrella with him he told you it was fine and that was the last thing you said to each other.

Or that was until Alex speaks up and asks you, “Am I right in thinking you were married?”

“Yeah for four years.” You nod, glancing over at him, and chuckling a little, “If you can believe it.”

Thank fuck he spoke up. The silence was eating away at you.

Alex’s eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

The poor man probably shouldn’t have asked, because the floodgates you were holding shut have just burst open and your nervous chatter just comes out. And considering you’re drunk, there is no chance you can stop it.

“Yeah, together since we were sixteen. Married at twenty one and stayed together for four years. But we just didn’t love each other anymore. Well, not in the way that qualifies you still be married to someone.” You ramble on before continuing, “Don’t get me wrong I would be devastated if something happened to him. Touch wood nothing does. But we just lived separate lives, went to work, came back home, and went to bed. Half the time he did shifts so I never saw him.”

You carry on to explain, “My life was just boring and I thought to myself I shouldn’t be feeling bored aged twenty-five. I wanted to travel and see the world but I just got a mortgage straight away so the only travelling we ever did was when we went to Vegas and got married.”

“So I got divorced, and how sad is it that I've got to tell people I'm a thirty one year old divorcee.” You finish off with.

But then you realise who you’ve said all of that to. And that he doesn’t like chatting to you at the best of times. So he probably didn’t care about anything you just told him, or appreciated the amount of rambling you just did.

You feel the need to say, “Sorry.” and you glance at Alex as you sheepishly say, “You didn’t really ask that, did you?”

For fucks sake Y/N. A ‘yes’ would have done!

“It’s okay.” Alex assures you with a small smile.

“No, it's just me rambling when I'm drunk and nervous.” You scorn yourself, hating the uneasy feeling in your chest. Unable to understand why you do it, you still end up saying, “I’m sorry. I’m a chatty person in general and getting alcohol into my system just makes me worse. Not to mention if I'm nervous too… Can never stop me going then.”

You guess getting it off your chest and him knowing that about you may make you easier to understand. Maybe he won’t find you as annoying because the last thing you want is to annoy him. You’re close with Katie and Jamie so you’re bound to run into each other more now he’s going to be living in Sheffield.

The singer frowns a little then before looking back to you to curiously ask, “Why are you nervous?”

Because you’re the most awkward man to talk to possibly ever?!!??!??!?

Course you can’t say that though. So you give the other true reason.

“I don’t like walking home in the dark usually.” You tell him sincerely, because it does freak you out. “I don’t know, bit of an irrational fear at this point but someone followed me home when I was younger and it really freaked me out. So um yeah… Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s really not a problem Y/N/N,” He smiles at you in what seems like a genuine way then, “I wasn’t going to let you walk home alone.”

You can’t help but think that’s really kind of him considering he really doesn’t know you very well. You tell him, “You’re a gooden, Alex.”

The singer just smiles a little at that, but you can see he’s being completely genuine when he says, “Sorry that happened to you.”

You give him a small smile then, appreciating how sincerely he said it. But you don’t really want to dwell on that whilst you’re walking in the dark so you change the subject.

“Do you prefer being back in Sheffield after all your time away?”

Alex wonders in what context you’re on about, so he questions, “You mean like over tour?”

“No, I mean like from living in different places because you were in New York when I first met you. Then you were in LA and you’ve got a place over there, right?” You double check, looking to him for assurance.

Alex nods and you continue, “Then you were to and from LA and London, right? And now you decided to come and stay back home? Or do you not plan on staying now?”

And you’re pleasantly surprised at the lengthy answer he gives you.

“Oh I'm definitely staying in Sheffield now… At least for a little while after the tour is finished.” He explains, “I think I just need time back where everything is normal and familiar again. Like Miles goes and stays back home quite often and I’ve not been back here for more than two months maybe since I was twenty two… It’s a long time away and it's quite nice to just come back and feel normal.”

You understand what he’s saying completely, but you can’t help but jokingly add, “Well… As normal as you can, being the front man of Sheffield's pride and joy.”

Alex laughs a little at that which shocks you because you never expected to make him laugh. But he does remind you, “You’re forgetting about Pulp.”

“You’re forgetting Pulp haven’t released anything since 2012.” You raise your eyebrows at him as your defence.

“Fair dos,” Alex laughs a little and you take what joy you can out of the fact that you made that happen. “But yeah, I like being myself back here and I like that I’m with most of my good friends and I get to be a proper uncle to the kids over here now.”

“They talk about you all the time. It's funny.” You can’t help but grin at the thought of your little god children, “Katie blames Jamie for being gone on you so when Katie has Kelly and Nick’s kids round too they complain like ‘Why has Uncle Alex taken Dad away again?’” You mimic in a whiney voice that again makes Alex laugh.

Alex chuckles, “I need to have a word with that Mrs Cook. She’ll get me into trouble with them.”

You promise him, “It’s nothing a chocolate bar wouldn’t solve.”

“I must owe them so much chocolate.” Alex grins.

You nod and begin to slow your walking down because you’re about to reach your house, “Oh yeah, you definitely do.”

“I’ll get Katie to invoice me.” The singer says as he notices you glance to the houses just beside you both and you slow down.

Matching your speed, you both come to a stop just in front of your house and you smile at the singer, “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Not a problem, Y/N.” Alex smiles back and you’re really glad that

You start slowly moving closer to your house as you say, “I hope the next leg of your tour goes well.”

“Thank you.” He says as he watches you get closer to your house.

“See you soon Alex.” You say with a smile as you unlock your door and push it open. “Thanks again.”

Alex smiles, “Bye Y/N.”

~*~*~*~ 24th November 2018 ~*~*~*~

Chaos. That is the only word to describe the current situation that you’re in.

The Cook household is manic, Forrest is running round like a mad man as any toddler who’s just been given sweets by his uncle would be doing.

Toys are everywhere and Jamie is running around too as he’s been tasked with tidying them before the grandparents get here to babysit. Katie scolded Alex for giving Forrest sweets before they were due to go out before she went upstairs to get ready.

Katie’s Mum wasn’t here yet to babysit Forrest for the night whilst you were all going out and that added to the stress because the taxi was due in about 25 minutes. So you’re trying your best to be the good Auntie that you are and calm your godchild down before you all go out, but your good nature results in a causality.

Alex catches your arm as you almost fall over a mountain of toys Forrest decided to pull you through, but as you tried to salvage your footing you must have caught the leg of the table your shin smacked into as well. It didn’t hurt too much, the initial shock of it got you and the fact you almost fell over, but then you hear the awful sound of fabric ripping, it makes you wince. You know what's happened before you even look down to check.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking.” You mutter under your breath before you quickly glance at Alex and say a small, “Thanks.” as he stopped you from going arse over tit.

Alex asks slightly concerned, “Are you okay?” and that’s the first interaction with him since you walked in the door ten minutes ago.

You could blame that on the fact the Cook’s household was fucking mental, but it’s more than likely just normal that he doesn’t want to talk to you. You’re just glad he caught you if nothing else, the last thing you need is to fall and bruise yourself.

“Yeah, thanks,” You nod, letting go of his arm you were still grasping to perch on the back of the settee so you can get a look at the damage done to your tights, “Can’t say the same about them, for fucks sake.”

They are beyond salvageable. There’s a massive hole in the calf which is that big it almost fully reaches round to your shin. Theres now a massive fucking ladder up the side of them which makes them more transparent and you can feel it’s gone right up to your arse too.

“I can’t go out like this.” You sigh, wondering what you can do but it also pisses you off because you literally arrived a matter of minutes ago in your taxi feeling really good about yourself for a hot second, but now that’s all fucking disipated.

Jamie shrugs, suggesting, “Take them off.” as he watches Forrest play with some toys across the room.

“Oh yeah,” You roll your eyes, and your sarcasm rings clear telling him that you’re not in the mood for such a simple comment like that. You wore them for a reason, and that reason is because it’s fucking freezing outside, “And get fucking hypothermia because I’m shivering all night? I don’t think so Jamie.”

You’re only wearing a skirt tonight because Katie asked you to anyway. She wanted you to wear the skirt version of the dress that she had which you were fine with doing.

Katie was wearing a really cute red tartan dress with a long sleeve black top underneath whereas you opted to buy the dark green high waisted tartan skirt and you paired that with a white long sleeve top and you had your tights and ankle boots on.

You’re bloody freezing as it is, the last thing you want or need is to be taking your tights off. It’s a strong no from you.

“I mean you wanted a quick fix.” Jamie holds his hands up in innocence and you just ignore him for a second before walking out of the lounge and to the bottom of the stairs after hearing your best friend begin to walk down them.

“Katie, do you have tights I could borrow?” You ask her as she gets to the bottom of the stairs.

“I binned all mine the other day and ordered more but they haven't arrived yet.” She tells you and your once jolly mood plummets further, “They all had holes in them… How come?”

You show her your right leg and you turn slightly to pull your skirt up a little, making sure the lads don’t see but Katie can see just how high the ladder runs up.

“Oh.” Katie winces at that, feeling bad she can’t help you.

“I’ve got stockings you could wear?” She offers as the both of you walk back into the lounge, “They’d come up to your thigh?”

You almost want to slap her. You know exactly where those items of her clothing have been, which is why you give her a disgusted look as you say, “I’m not wearing stockings that you’ve been wearing whilst Jamie’s railed you.”

“They’ve been washed.” She scoffs.

“Thanks, but no. I can’t wear these though.” You sigh as you both walk into the lounge. You stick by the arched frame though and after a second of deliberation, you say, “Whilst you're sorting yourself out, I’ll walk home and change.”

Katie looks at you with concern filled eyes, “But the taxi is due in twenty minutes.”

“Exactly, and you don't have the time to be messing about.” You say as she’s clearly still got things to sort out. She’s only just now plugging her straighteners in and she doesn’t have her shoes on yet either. You continue with, “And your Mum isn’t here yet to look after Forrest. If you can pick me up on the way out, that’d be grand.”

Katie nods at you through the mirror as she starts parting her hair so she can style it, “Yeah that’s fine.”

“Right, I’ll go now then.” You tell the room before turning to grab your coat from the bannister.

But you almost stop dead when you hear Alex say, “I’ll walk with you.”

Did those words really just leave Alex Turner’s mouth?

They clearly did because he’s pulling his jacket back on and taking a step towards you. Not wanting to be a burden, you shake your head, “You don’t have to, it’s not that late.”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk with you.” Alex insists, giving you a look that’s assuring but he makes it lighthearted by saying, “Gives them more incentive to come and pick the both of us up from yours then, right?”

You assume he must remember from your walk home a few months ago that you didn’t like walking home in the dark. You see no other reason for him as to be so kind to offer. So you don’t argue with him further, even though you already feel nervous to have to spend time with him alone.

“Right.” You nod and avert your gaze from his. You look back to Katie and Jamie and say, “See you in a bit.”

~*~*~*~

The walk home was uncomfortable to say the least. Despite your speed walking, it really did seem to take forever to get back to your house with silence between you and the singer.

You’ve got past the point of trying to start a full conversation with him at this point, so you just opted to repeat the lyrics to your favourite song, Not fair by Lily Allen, to yourself three times knowing that by the time you finish the song in full for the third time you should be home. And when you’re correct, you’re very thankful.

Unlocking and getting into your house leaves a new sense of anxiety in your stomach though. You’ve left the place a fucking mess and you hate that when someone new walks in. Especially someone like Alex who hasn’t always been the nicest to you in the past, so you start rambling again as you let the both of you in.

“My house is a tip so sorry about this.” You tell him as you quickly slip your boots off so you can change your tights when you get a second. “Please ignore everything you see. I’ve really not had any time to clean up today. I was out this morning and then by the time I got back katie was mithering me to get ready for tonight which is fucking comical because she wasn’t ready even before we left.”

Alex closes the door behind and walks into your home and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s already looking around at your possessions. Most people do when they walk in anyway considering the back wall of your lounge displays your ever growing record collection.

You’re unsurprised when you hear him say, “Christ, that’s a lot of records.”

“I know right,” You smile and walk the both of you further into your home.  

And because you can’t handle silence as you start searching your shopping bags for a new pair of tights, you give him another anecdote, “My Dad gave me all of his from back in the day. Couldn’t believe it when he said I could have them all. I’d only just started my collection at the time and I probably had about twenty of my own and then he gave me all of his because he said it was old technology and he’ll never have any use for them anymore. And then my grandparents followed suit and they gave me all theirs too. Couldn’t believe my luck.”

“Three generations worth of collectors then?” Alex smiles and you nod.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You nod, not bothering with the bag you were currently routing through anymore because you’re a little bit taken aback by the fact he’s pulled your favourite Gorillaz album out.

Abandoning your search for replacement tights for the moment, you carry on your story as you watch him, “Been fun adding to the big collection though. I love just putting on a record to pass the time. It’s why my Spotify unwrapped is always so shit because I always listen to my LPs and not on my phone so at the end of the year it’s like ‘you listened to two thousand minutes of music this year’ and it’s bullshit because I just listen to so much more but it’s all on my turntable unless I'm walking to work.”

Alex hums with a smile on his face as he continues searching for more records. He’s pleased to see all of his own up there, including his EP, the TLSP albums, and the Submarine soundtrack. And when he pulls out Miles’ latest album Coup De Grace, he can’t help but chuckle seeing that Miles had signed it and written a message to you saying, ‘Y/N/N, my biggest fan in the world. Love you loads and I hope you enjoy the new tunes. All my love, Miles x’.

When you notice the singer looking at that, you laugh and tell him how Miles had given you a lovely message on the front of all his LPs.

“Bless Miles, he always writes me a nice message on each album I get sent.” You start to ramble as you search for new tights. “I don’t really remember when he started doing it… Oh yeah I do, I think it may have been when I mentioned when I first met him how much I liked Age of the Understatement and we were talking about it for ages. And then like a month later I get the record in the post and he’s signed it and it had the sweetest message on the front to go with it and he’s never stopped. He’s a gem.”

You stop talking about Miles when you get baffled for a moment how your tights weren’t in the shopping bag from the shop you thought you bought them from. So your search persists as you carry on routing in other bags you’ve yet to take upstairs.

As you do though, your nervous chatter persists. You really hate that you can’t stop it, and you’re sure you’re annoying your guest but he doesn’t stop you, and thankfully he doesn’t look annoyed by them today. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take you by surprise today by actively starting a conversation with you.

Just as you’re about to run upstairs to your room, you hear Alex ask, “Can I ask you a question?”

If Katie would have asked you that, you’d have said ‘You just did’ but because it’s Alex and you’re certain he doesn’t get your humour, nor would he tolerate it, you just say, “Yeah, of course you can.”

And you walk back into your lounge so you’re not being rude as you wait for his question. Alex looks as relaxed as possible as you feel like your heart is going to start beating out of your chest despite him still plucking records from your shelves.

His brown eyes linger on you as he asks, “Do I make you nervous?”

You certainly weren't expecting that question.

“What do you mean?” You find yourself asking, not understanding where that’s come from and you feel like you’re frozen in your spot.

Alex seems to think about his words before they leave his mouth next. And your heart that's thudding ten to the dozen in your chest doesn’t feel like it’s able to cope for much longer so you’re very thankful when he says what's on his mind.

“Well when I walked you home in the summer, you said that you ramble when you're drunk or nervous. And yes, on a few occasions we've seen each other lately we’ve been drunk, but you’re not now and you’re exactly the same.” Alex points out as he looks between you and the track listing on the back of your Brian Eno LP.

“You’re really chatty and jumpy when I come near you and it's like you’re flustered and jittery... Like the way a fan usually is but you’ve known me for too long for it to be that, so that’s why I'm asking,” Alex repeats himself, “Do I make you nervous?”

“Erm, yeah.” You nod, unable to say much else, “I guess you do.”

“In what way?” The singer asks you as he puts the record back where he found it before giving you his full attention and starts making his way over to you.

“I’m not scared of you or anything… You just really stress me out. I can never read you, never read what mood you’re in or even whether you like me as a person or you just think I’m Katie’s annoying friend that never shuts up.” You struggle for your words because you truly don’t know how to tell him without offending him. The last thing you’d want is for him to dislike you anymore.

But Alex’s gaze and increasing proximity makes you say more, “I don’t really know why you make me nervous after all this time. But you definitely unsettle me.”

You want to curl up into a ball and hide. You feel fidgety with the closer he gets and you want to avoid his gaze. But because he’s pointed it out, you don’t allow yourself. You stay strong and keep his eye contact despite his teasing.

“When you’re around me you talk like you- I don’t know how to describe it… You almost act like someone who's addicted to the E-numbers in sweets.” Alex grins, almost like it’s a little inside joke with himself. You try to keep yourself calm when he reaches his point, as he stops a few feet in front of you. “So that's why I’m curious if I made you nervous or not.”

“Well I guess the simple answer is yes.” You nod, but now with him so close, you try to look anywhere but at him.

This is far too awkward for your liking. Alex hums in response to that and he plucks another record that you recognise to be Histoire de Melody Nelson from your shelf that’s just beside you.

You think you’ve escaped the conversation now and you pray you can just go back to being awkwardly silent with each other and never relive that again. But apparently that’s not the plan.

Just as you were turning yourself around again to head upstairs, Alex leaves you shell shocked when he asks, “Do you want to fuck me?”

Instantly your eyes are the widest they could possibly get and you’re sure your jaw falls open. Looking at him intently to try and make sure you’re not dreaming this, you deadpan, “Excuse me?”

“Do you want to fuck me?” Alex asks, putting the record back like it's the most casual thing to ask someone he barely speaks to, “Is that why I make you nervous?”

This should be the easiest response you’ve ever given him.

“I-”

But your words fail you. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest.

Wait… Do I want to fuck him?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: So... What did you think??? What do you think is going to happen next??? Did you enjoy it? I really hope you did! 

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist x

Taglist: @alovesreading​ @kennedy-brooke​ @ohladymoon​ @hazskillerqueen​ @more-multifandom-of-maddness @thereisaplaceintheheart​ 

[pkg4mumtown]

Special Weapons and Tactics (Ch. 2)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Original Male Character (OMC)

Rating: Teen (for now)

Summary: Checking up on the agent you carried out of a hostile situation is innocent, right? Right?? León sure thought so.

Content Warnings: strong language, first person POV, canon-typical violence, mostly fluff

A/N: (As of March 8, 2025, this fic has been transitioned to Hotch/ OMC as I realized I put too much detail in later chapters to still make it a feasible Reader fic. Thank you to everyone, so far. I hope you'll continue to read but totally understand if you don't!) Hiiiiii! Thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first chapter, here is the second! I’m embedding the Spotify playlist I made for the fic, but due to the lack of dividers for you all to know what chapters I placed them in, I’ll let you know here. Feel free to listen to the whole playlist if you want, just know I’m still making continuous changes to it.

Chapter 1: The Man, Mad Sounds, Want You Bad, Take A Chance on Me

Chapter 2: If I Wanted Someone, Neon Moon, Lovers Eyes, Want Want

Also available on AO3 - I do use a workskin on AO3 for text messaging, so I uploaded screenshots of the texts here. I know this isn’t what iOS looked like in 2010 but I didnt feel like learning a new workskin lol.

July 2010

I could practically feel his eyeroll through the phone.

Before I could ask for his order, he started typing again.

It felt stupid to send considering his team would probably bend over backwards for him, but I sent it anyway. He should know someone else was thinking about him, right?

—

Beyond the occasional checkup text on how he’d been feeling—I couldn’t help it—he was still on track to get back to work Wednesday morning. It was actually quite convenient for me as I had a medic course to teach at the academy that day.

Keeping a straight face around my team was nearly impossible as his daily updates came in, some of them even unprompted. That part was surprising given that at work, his demeanor seemingly left a lot to be desired.

When Wednesday morning arrived, I got up extra early to stop at a decent coffee place on the way into Quantico instead of whatever sludge passed for coffee and littered every corner of FBI Headquarters. Don’t get me wrong, I was plenty used to dirty water that shouldn’t have the honor of being called ‘coffee’ from my time in the Navy; but when I had the opportunity, I treated myself to good coffee.

The drive was maybe half an hour longer than I would have had going into the DC field office, so I had plenty of time to sweat over seeing Hotch after our brief texting over the last seven days. After stopping for our morning beverages closer to Quantico so his coffee wouldn’t be cold, I made my way into Headquarters armed with the carrier holding our two drinks, a box of coffee for the team, some random assorted pastries to win their hearts over, and my training materials (which were super important, of course).

The elevator dinged on what I hoped was the correct floor for the BAU. Stepping out, I spotted the team immediately and headed over to their group of desks in the bullpen.

“Good morning, I come bearing gifts,” I announced in front of their desks.

Prentiss and Reid had noticed my presence as I walked in, and they peered over their dividers until they were basically standing as I approached. At the sound of my voice, Morgan’s head perked up and he rushed over to greet me.

“What's all this?” He smiled, gesturing to my full arms.

“This is for you all,” I gently handed the box of pastries with the coffee box balancing precariously on top to Morgan. JJ and Emily looked surprised, and I watched their eyes flick back and forth at each other in some unspoken language.

“What’s the occasion?” Derek laughed after setting the boxes down on one of their desks.

“Just didn’t want to come here empty handed for y’all,” I shrugged. He reached for the carrier in my hand, but I swatted his hand away and moved the drink carrier out of reach. “This is for your boss, and speaking of him where can I find him?”

Reid, who hadn’t said a word the entire time, gestured behind me with his chin. He was definitely familiar, and I knew him from somewhere. Judging by the look in his eye, I wasn’t wrong. Reid gave me a knowing smile and it finally hit me that he frequented one of the same local bars that I do, making me instantly nervous given the potential for volatility in a government workplace. Hell, most of my SWAT teammates didn’t even know I was gay because of that overly macho and straight culture on the team. The only one here I was actually out to was Morgan, though by now, I was sure the room of profilers had figured it out. It was inevitable that Reid had seen me flirt with men at said bar but, by his nod and comforting smile, I was reassured that I was safe and in good company.

I turned and looked over my shoulder to where Reid had gestured and saw Hotch skimming through a file behind the window of his office.

Turning back to them, I raised the drink carrier, “Thanks.”

I spun on my heel and made my way up the stairs to his office.

“Well, that was weird,” Emily spoke up as soon as I was out of earshot. When no one replied, she turned around to face the team, “That was weird, right?”

“Nah, just checking up on Hotch, I’m sure. He’s a good dude like that,” Derek shrugged.

“I mean I’m not complaining. That polo was doing wonders for his arms,” she absentmindedly fanned herself with a file to exaggerate her point.

“You should ask him for his number and get his workout routine,” JJ teased.

“Please, Sergio is the only man I need in my life,” Emily laughed, causing the two of them to veer off in a separate conversation.

“You're being awfully quiet, pretty boy,” Morgan murmured suspiciously to Reid as Emily and JJ kept chatting.

“Am I?” the genius jokingly feigned ignorance.

Derek fixed a pointed glare at him, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“We frequent the same bar,” Reid clarified. “Obviously, I recognized him, but I didn’t think he would recognize me, too.”

Derek’s eyebrows had never flown faster up his face, “Have you fu—”

“—No! No, no, no,” Reid cuts him off hurriedly, glancing at the girls who were still talking amongst themselves. “I’m not his type,” Reid answered matter-of-factly with a smirk and directed Morgan's attention to Hotch's office with his eyes.

“Oh, I’m giving him hell over this,” Morgan shook his head and walked back to his desk.

“Over what?” Emily asked as her conversation with JJ ended.

“It seems like he has the number he’s looking for,” Reid answered cryptically and flicked open the box of pastries to hide the smile threatening his features.

—

I took my time on the stairs to gather my wits and my nerves, feeling absolutely ridiculous considering my profession. I knocked on his door frame with my free hand, seeing a pinched frown on his face as he quickly looked up. The tension in his forehead eased upon being greeted with my shy smile and I watched his brain fight his lips as they twitched upward.

After a beat of silence, Hotch snapped out of it and gestured me in, his voice softer than his face indicated, “Navarro. Sorry, come in. Please, sit.”

“Black, two sugars,” I recited while setting the carrier down on his desk. I gently rotated the cup out and placed it in front of him. “And Leon is fine,” I smiled.

Despite most people pronouncing my name as Leon instead of León, intentionally pronouncing it wrong myself still left a bad taste in my mouth after all thirty-five of my years. It was easier to understand the mispronunciations of Navarro, that one even I caught myself slipping to a hard “R” rather than the rolling “r” it was supposed to have. But, it was easier than listening to people struggle and apologize.

Hotch’s lips finally won the battle, turning into a deep, closed-mouth smile before repeating, “Leon.”

As quickly as it came, his smile disappeared again as he turned to look out of his window at the team. They feigned “work” well, but Hotch wasn’t convinced and stood up to lower his blinds.

“Subtle,” I nearly snorted.

“They’re nosy,” he sighed and sat back down.

“How are you feeling?” I shrugged my bag off my shoulder and plopped it on the floor before taking a seat across from him. I twisted my own cup out of the holder and brought the straw to my lips with a satisfied hum. Yes, iced coffee, sue me. I ran hot and didn’t need to be drenched in sweat so early in the morning.

I hadn’t realized I closed my eyes with that sip until I was blinking them open to see Hotch’s calculating eyes scanning me. I tilted my head questioningly.

“Much better. I think the withdrawal headache made it worse,” he lifted the coffee cup up and sipped his. As he pulled it away from his face, he examined the label, “Where’d you get this?”

“Just some place in town I found on the way in. I brought pastries but I think they’ve started decimating them out there,” I laughed, imagining Morgan working with one hanging from his lips.

“That’s kind of you.”

“Felt rude not to,” I shrugged. “I’m glad you’re feeling better though, it didn’t seem like you hit it that hard but the mixture with the blast probably didn’t help.”

“I’ve also had my head rattled more times than I’d like to admit, so my hearing isn’t what it used to be. ”

“You and me both.”

“But, the past week was eventful in all the worst ways.”

A laugh was pulled from deep in my chest as I nearly choked on the liquid in my mouth. I wiped at the corner of my mouth as I recovered, “Seems like that might be putting it mildly.  But hey, you could have used the lingering headache as the perfect excuse to avoid a coffee d—meet.”

Hotch smirked over the lid of the coffee cup with a raised eyebrow, “A coffee date? Presumptuous, SSA Navarro,” he finished, making my face heat up at how deep his voice was and how smoothly it came out. “But…I would have missed out on my wager, and it’s been worth the wait so far.”

Any worry I had last week about whether I was imagining this or not flew out of the window at lightning speed, “I’m glad I’m good company.”

“I know, I was surprised,” he joked, smirking once again. “Hopefully this isn’t too out of your way.”

I bit back a laugh, “I work out of the DC field office in Violent Crimes.”

Hotch’s face dropped immediately, “Why would you come all the way here?”

“You asked me to,” I stated simply. His face was concerned and almost looked mad that I would do that, “I’m teaching an intro to field medicine course at the academy today, don’t worry. I was just making you sweat.”

“You didn’t have to try hard to accomplish that,” he shook his head, visibly relaxing and licking over his lower lip.

We enjoyed a brief silence, savoring our drinks and listening to the bustle outside of Hotch’s office. His eyes flicked between my face and the cup being cradled and dwarfed by his hands. He was reserved, which was unsurprising given the setting, and hadn’t quite shut off the serious demeanor he carried in his office. It was hardly a problem and was still a fairly comfortable silence.

That was until my eyes settled on a photo behind his head, “Is that your son?”

Hotch slowly spun away so he could see what I was looking at and nodded with the brightest smile I’d seen on his face so far. I could tell his son was his whole world just from that look.

“Yea, Jack,” he confirmed with a proud smile.

“May I?” I was already half out of my seat.

“Sure,” he nodded, savoring another long sip of coffee.

I rounded his desk and got a closer look at the photo of father and son, with a real, honest-to-God grin on Hotch’s face, “He’s so cute. How old is he?”

“Five,” Hotch tilted his head at his son’s smiling face, fiddling with the coffee cup in his hand.

I glanced at his left hand, quickly looking back at the photo.

Lack of a ring tan means he didn’t divorce or separate too recently. Oh my—stop that right now.

“He had to have gotten his looks from his mom because…” I looked at Hotch again, making a show of looking him up and down before mocking a cringe. I stepped back from the photo and leaned against his desk.

Hotch hissed from between his teeth, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs, “That would hurt more if you weren’t right.”

“I’m kidding,” I purposefully knocked my leg into his foot. “He’s got your eyes.”

“He just started school recently. He’s so smart,” Hotch looked thoughtfully up at the photo once more. “Figuring out co-parenting with school has been a bit of a struggle, but Haley and I are making it work.”

“I’m sure it’s a whirlwind, even with two parents.  My younger brother is a newly single father.”

“It is, but he's a great kid and I’m lucky to have him.”

My watch started beeping, alerting me to my twenty-minute warning before I needed to be downstairs for the course. I quickly turned off the alarm and focused back on Hotch.

“Speaking of kids, have you taken him to the new bakery on King and Cameron?  They have these incredible cupcakes that my nephew loves. I don’t know how far that is from you.”

“Not too far and Jack does have a sweet tooth,” he pondered for a moment. “Maybe we could check it out sometime. Without him. You know, make sure it’s safe first.” 

I was taken aback for a second at the invitation, “We? Now who’s presumptuous?” I smirked. Before he could reply I was speaking again, “Would Saturday work for you?”

“It should. Provided we don’t get a case. Eight?”

“Sounds good. I have to run, but—uh—I’ll talk to you later?”

“You will,” Hotch smirked back.

I just about ran out of his office, almost forgetting my bag in the process, not wanting to be late in front of a bunch of trainees. He shook his head at my antics and I had to ignore the way my face felt like it was on fire out of embarrassment.

I’m so fucking dumb.

-

Chapter 3

[kooksvspogues]

Happy 1st Birthday Lilian!! 🥳

Part 8 - last part

Authors note: for everyone that has read this story, thank you soo much! If you have any ideas on more stories, feel free to reach out or comment. Remember all feedback is greatly appreciated! Hope everyone has had a good week and are staying warm 🩵

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I pull up at Drew’s place, I undo my braid to reveal somewhat decent curls and pull the visor down to check my eyes in the mirror. The tears finally let up about 10 minutes ago but my face was still red and puffy. I take a deep breath, giving myself a mental pep talk before looking at the time, 5:56.

I grab my phone and pull the keys out of the ignition and hop out of the truck. I hurry up the steps to his front door and knock, waiting to hear anything. I knock again after a few minutes and I finally hear footsteps.

“Mack I’m sorry okay, I’m sorry you’ve been up all night because of me, but it’s not even 6am, can we talk about it later?” I hear him say and I knock again, “listen I gotta go, apparently somebody else is up at this time” he says as I hear a thud and his footsteps coming closer to the door before the door swings open revealing a very irritated and very shirtless Drew.

His facial expression immediately softened when he seen me and at the sight of him, all I can feel is more tears forming and falling from happiness of what’s coming.

“Woah, come here” he says pulling me inside and closing the door quickly. He pulls me into his chest and holds me tightly as I wrap my arms around him. “Mack was just going off on me on the phone, so what happened?” He asks me and I can’t help but chuckle lightly.

“Can we talk?” I ask pulling away to look up at him. He uses his thumb to wipe the loose tear away, but I can’t do anything but stare into his eyes.

“Yeah, of course, cmon” he says placing his hand on my back and leading me to his couch, “need anything? Water? Coffee?”

“No no, I just need to get this off my chest” I say as he gets even more nervous

“Okay..” he takes a deep breath keeping his eyes locked with mine, “can I just say, I am extremely sorry that she seen us last night, but I’m not sorry I kissed you..”

“Drew, just listen” I lightly laugh grabbing his hand as he closes his mouth, holding my hand even tighter anticipating what I’m about to say, “I have thought about this conversation so many times and never can get it completely right so just bare with me. Just in the past few days you’ve done everything you could to let me know that you still wanted to give this a shot and I turned it all down for obvious reasons-“

“But?” He asks trying to read my face

“But, it’s my turn” I say

“What do you mean exactly?” He asks

“I mean, Mack knows about the wedding. She knows everything-” I tell him but he quickly cuts me off

“Is that why she was chewing me out?” He asks making me laugh slightly

“Dreeeeew, listen” I laugh grabbing his face, cupping his jaw with one hand while the other hand covers his mouth, “you listening?” I ask as he nods slowly, “okay, so Mack came to talk to me, she kinda put two and two together about us at their wedding and she apologized for how she acted towards us last night-“ he cuts me off mumbling and pointing towards his phone while I cock an eyebrow at him before making him playfully roll his eyes and smile against my hand.

“Aaaas I was saying, she apologized, and told me that she hasn’t seen you interested in anybody in a while and same for me too. Kinda shocked she didn’t put it all together before now but yeah, so here I am after finally getting the permission I felt like I needed for this to happen to ask you if you’d still be willing to go on that date you were talking about with me?” I nervously smile at him as I pull my hands away from his mouth

“Is that even a question?” He asks me crossing his arms

“I don’t know, maybe I’ve aggravated you too much dealing with Mack and now that we ain’t gotta hide, you may not want it-“ he cuts me off

“I’m gonna need you to kindly shut the fuck up and come here” he says pulling on my arm to pull me over to his lap so I’m straddling him, both of us smiling ear to ear at each other before starting to lean in

“Oh! and she only ‘called to chew you out’ to make sure you was awake when I got here, plus to freak you out a little”

“What a great sister I have” he rolls his eyes sarcastically as I lightly slap at his chest

“That great sister of yours didn’t even take 4 hours to decide this was okay, I’d say she really fucking amazing” I tease him

“You’re right, but if she thinks I’m not gonna be overly touchy with you just to get her back for that, she’s very mistaken” he says smiling making me laugh as I lean in to peck his lips, “God, I’ve wanted this for so long” he mumbled against my lips

“What?” I ask leaning back to look into his eyes

“For you to be in my arms with no fear on both sides” he says reaching up to push a strand of hair behind my ear, keeping his hand on the side of my neck, “you’re so beautiful, Maddie” he says making my face go red

“It’s too early, hush” I say laughing nervously

“Never too early to tell my girl she’s beautiful” he says pulling me down to meet his lips again.

“Your girl?” I ask smiling once we pull away again

“You’ve always been my girl, just was waiting for you to realize that pact didn’t own you” he shrugs

“I’m sorry” I say looking down

“Don’t be sorry, you had your reasons and I think everybody understands why you did it the way you did. It may have took 2 years but who cares, but I do have a question”

“Go for it” I tell him

“Did you really not have any interest in anybody since that night?” Drew asks me

“Nope. The time we shared at the wedding was what I craved to find again, ya know how everybody will sit there and say they want something real but the moment they get in front of ya, they only have one thing on their mind so I always found a way out of it.” I explain to him, “what about you?”

“Same here. Yeah the guys and even Mack tried to set me up a few times but there was no connections, just ‘it’s Drew Starkey from Outer Banks,’ and that’s not what I want, I wanted the realness we had and have right now, I wanted you” he tells me making me blush

“You have me, ‘Drew Starkey from Outer Banks,’ I’m all yours” I wink at him as he rolls his eyes pushing me playfully

“I regret it already” he playfully says

“Oh just wait” I tease making us both laugh, “I’ll be your best nightmare”

“There’s no part of me that doubts that” he laughs pulling me down against his chest to wrap his arms around me

“I’m sorry I lied to both of us” I admit

“What you mean?” He asks

“I tried to pretend you didn’t exist, that there was never a smidge of feelings there, I didn’t have big enough balls to admit to myself, let alone admit it out loud, but your mom really helped with it” I tell him

“She talked to you?” He asks

“Yeah, it was nice, first person I felt comfortable enough to talk to about it, especially when she told me her son ratted us out the same night of the wedding” I laugh raising my eyebrows at him

“I was at a wedding, thought I just met my future wife, but it couldn’t be a thing because of my sister, and then you just took off. What else was I supposed to do?” He asks m

“Keep them lips closed” I joke, “no, I’m glad she knew, I just wish I knew she knew so then I could have actually talked to somebody about it”

“You coulda texted me” he points out

“Yeah but I felt like that would be weird” I explain

“I thought about texting you a lot, like I went and stole your number out of my mom’s phone just incase, and ya know sometimes when my mom would call you to check in?” He asks

“Yeaaaah?” I say

“I was always standing right there, it was ninety percent of the time my idea for her to call” he admits

“You know, some of that was personal stuff” I tell him

“If it started getting personal, she would tell me to go, I promise” he smiles

“Mhm, that is sweet though, looking back, I really don’t know what I would have done if you started talking to me..” I tell him

“Yeah, that’s why I never did, I didn’t want you upset, but, with all this being said, how about, we go get a few more hours of sleep, wake up, get ready and I’ll take you back so you can change and we’ll go on that date?” Drew offers

“Already?” I ask sarcastically

“Took us two years babe, plus you’re only in town for a few more days then going back to Florida for what? One? Two months? I gotta make your time here worth it and keep ya coming back” he smirks up at me

“I’m okay with that” I smile

“Good, you didn’t have much of a choice” he shrugs, “you ready?”

“For what?” I ask just as him stands up with ease making me squeal before unfolding my legs and wrapping them around his waist quickly as he walks us toward a door. His room I’m assuming.

“I’m getting some proper cuddles” he says kicking his door open before throwing me on his bed making me laugh

“Well come on Mr. Starkey” I wink, raising my arms towards him to come lay on me, which he happily obliges.

“I could get used to this” he says squeezing me as I squeeze him back

~~~~~~ 43 days later ~~~~~~

I had been back in Florida for over a month, getting everything packed up and ready to move back to North Carolina. I was originally going to just ship what wouldn’t fit in my car but decided to rent a U-Haul trailer for the trip.

As of Drew and I, the day before I flew back to Florida, he asked me to be his girlfriend and he has even flew out here to visit for a week. Other than that, we FaceTime every chance we get. Everything about our relationship has been great.

“So you ready to head out?” Drew asks me over the phone

“Yeah, just dreading the long drive alone but it’ll be worth it once I get there” I tell him.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see you babe” he says

“I can’t wait to see you either, you almost to your hotel?” I ask him

“Yeah, just a few minutes away” he answer’s

“Well I hope you and the boys have a good weekend, but I think I’m gonna get off here and start putting the last bit of stuff in the trailer, I’ll talk to you later?” I say

“Absolutely, see you soon” he says

“See you soon Mr. Starkey” I tease before hanging up

I go to tape up the last box and stack it on top of the last few I have to load up. I grab my backpack and make sure everything is in it, before grabbing my keys and phone throwing them in my purse. I check the time on the microwave; 6:56am. The sooner I get out of here the better.

I go to pick up one of the last boxes but just as I get it situated, there’s a knock at the door. Maybe it’s Jeff coming to help.

I sit it down and walk over to open the door, “Morning Je— Drew?! What are you doing here?!” I yell jumping into his arms

“Surprise! I didn’t want you to have to drive that far by yourself, knew we’d be on the phone most of the drive so I just decided to come physically be here with you” he explains leaning down to kiss me

“That’s really sweet but you didn’t have to do that” I say keeping my arms wrapped around him

“I know but I wanted to, I’d much rather be with you than anything” he says hugging me

“What about the guys?” I ask

“Ummm, soo I kinda lied, we didn’t plan a weekend trip, I just told you that so you wouldn’t get suspicious on my way here” he explains

“Wellll I really liked this surprise” i say leaning up to kiss him

“Good I’m glad, is this all that’s left?” He ask nodding toward the last 4 boxes

“Yes sir and then I gotta run the key to my landlord” I tell him

“I’ll get everything loaded up” he tells me as I decide to do a quick run through to make sure I’m not forgetting anything yet again.

Once we get into my vehicle, we drive over to my landlords and leave the key with him, and of course make a pit stop for coffee and a quick breakfast. Once we get back on the road and headed home, there’s never a dull moment. There never is between us and I hope that never ends. All I can say is thanks to the best little Goddaughter I could have for being a huge reason that Drew and I are where we’re at now. I feel Drew’s hand grab mine and squeeze tightly.

“So how long you gonna make me wait before you’ll just move in with me?” He asks in all seriousness

“Only time will tell babe. It’ll happen when it needs to” I smile over at him as he squeezes my hand again,

“I’m just ready to be with you all the time” he admits

“We’ll have our day, I promise” I tell him

“I love you beautiful” he smiles

“I love you too” I smile back

The end

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