#i honestly haven't recovered and I don't think I ever will

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I think the most hurtful thing about baby Percy saying;

"Why are you trying to get rid of me? I would never do this to you!"

Is that's probably what younger me would say to me now.

[cocoabeloved]

pain isn't just physical. pain is something even greater than that. PAIN IS THIS!!!

[stereotypical-jew]

i have had such bad tummy issues these past few days. and also head aches. i feel like i'm gonna shit my pants but i just went to the bathroom! i feel like my brain is broken and also my body and i don't know how i'm supposed to go back to work on monday and make it through eight more weeks of school. four weeks until the concert! i am burned out! this break did not reenergize me!

[drivingthesehillsaway]

.

[nana-au]

𝐁𝐅𝐅! 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈 | your best friend wants to know what kissing feels like MDNI

warnings: heated make out, perverted thoughts, dry humping

Your best friend's lips were wet with spit and delightfully pink when he asked you if you've ever kissed before. You shake your head, confirming that you haven't, and if it weren't for the fact Yuji was your best friend you would have been embarrassed admitting that. But he was, so you weren't. You knew that he also had never kissed someone. Neither of you had ever dated anybody - always too involved in your own little bubble together. Attached at the hip.

"How come you're asking?" you question him, your eyes locking with his. He dodged the question, stuttering out nonsense as his cheeks turned the color of his hair.

"N-no reason," he blushed, and you nodded slowly - taking in how nervous your friend became.

It didn't take a whole lot of prying - it never did with Yuji. It wasn't unlike him to bring up something silly before trying to dismiss the fact he ever said it - like the time he asked your bra size. You looked up at him in shock, the skittle you were biting down on caught in your throat, causing you to choke. After recovering you gasped out, "Sorry. my what?" you asked him to clarify and his cheeks turned their signature rosy hue.

"I'm sorry... I don't know why I asked that," he stammered, pulling his his hoodie over his face and tightening the draw strings. It didn't take long for him to admit that he was just curious - and that he was sorry for how perverted it sounded. You patted his back, telling him it was just unexpected before giving him the answer to his question. You almost didn't notice how his lips formed an "o", silently picturing your response in his mind.

This day was just like any other for you two, honestly. "You've been thinking about kissing, Yuji?" you ask him nonchalantly. You found it always went down better if you acted like it was no big deal.

"I guess," he mumbled, trying to busy himself with the weather app on his phone.

"Did someone try to kiss you?" you kept prying, slowly but surely getting to the root of his question.

"No!" he all but shouted and your eyes narrowed.

"Then what's up?" again, your tone was nonchalant while he was anything but. He fidgeted under your gaze, knees bouncing with anxiety while he bit down on his bottom lip.

"I guess I was just wondering what it feels like... I don't know," he says dismissively, shaking his head before putting it in his hands; effectively avoiding your gaze. "I thought you would maybe know," he tells you, his words muffled by his large palms.

"Oh sorry, I don't," you tell him, going back on your phone in silence. When he hears a video play, he takes his head from his hands, looking up at you as you giggled at your screen, already deciding to forget about what he asked. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see Yuji frowning at you - like he still has something he wants to say. You use your foot to poke his leg, leaning further back onto the end of your couch. "Spit it out Yuj," you tell him, not bothering to look up from your phone.

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like?" he asks you, his typical playful tone now painfully timid. Your eyebrows quirk, looking back up to him and noticing how nervous he looks.

"I guess sometimes," you say, biting your lip while you waited for him to continue.

"D-Did you maybe want to... I don't know...," he rambles, lifting his hand up to cover his face again. You patiently wait for him to recover himself. "You can say no," he begins, hands noticeably shaky. You sit up abruptly upon noticing his hands quiver - scooching over to be closer to him. He looks up, a little shocked seeing you so close to him and his throat bobs from swallowing harshly. "Do you maybe want to kiss me? Just to know what it feels like," he spits out, saying it so fast you could hardly catch his question but you do. Your lips part in surprise.

Was it a bit of an odd suggestion from your best friend? Sure, yeah. But was Yuji an odd guy? Absolutely. Your best friend was a fanatic for all things weird - you had known this your whole life. Hell, you sat right next to him while he watched his obscure, gory horror movies that made your stomach church. All though he assured you that you didn't have to watch them with him, Yuji was your best friend. Anything he was interested - anything that he wanted to do, you were down. So was it odd to kiss your best friend? Most would say yes. But Yuji and you weren't most people, that's why you two were so good together. You 'matched each other's freak', for lack of a better term.

Despite the fact neither of you had kissed anyone, the two of you got the hang of it fairly quickly. It started with a few pecks; you leaned even closer to your best friend, eyes watching as his lips twitched in anticipation. "Let me know if you want me to stop, Yuj," you told him before closing the gap between you two. His lips were soft against yours and smooth as butter. You planted a few light kisses, pulling away to check in with him. His face was flushed and you looked just a few inches down to see how strong his hand gripped the couch's arm behind him, causing his muscles to flex - showing off his toned forearm and bicep he earned from his years of hard work in the various sports he played. "Was that ok?" you inquire, ghosting over his lips. He nodded desperately, adjusting himself to fully face you before dragging you onto his lap and smashing his lips into yours.

You didn't have time to be taken aback, too distracted with abrupt change in pace as his lips smushed against yours. He groaned, snaking his hands around your back and pulling you flush against him, deepening the kiss. He could feel your squishy breasts push against his hard chest and his head began to spin. Your scent was permeating in his space, clogging his senses. He was entranced by the foreign feeling of another mouth on his, causing him to not think clearly. At least that's what he told himself as his lips moved against yours. He wasn't himself. That's why he was so desperate. That's why his tongue licked along the seam of your mouth, silently asking you to part your lips so he could slip it in.

That's why when you opened up for him he couldn't help bucking his hips up into you. He had to fight back an embarrassed whine from the realization he was humping his best friend - all because she let him explore her mouth. You sat on his lap patiently though, allowing Yuji to use your unsuspecting lips to know what it feels like to kiss.

His hands rose from your hips, sliding up to feel more of your body as he kept unknowingly thrusting himself up against you - too lost from the feeling of your tongue wrestling his. Even his tongue was stronger than you - you were unable to fight for control over your own mouth as his unskilled tongue explored yours. His hands stopped just below your breast, using his thumbs to subtly massage the underside of your tits. You were completely pliant under his grasp, allowing your friend to explore and hump you while you took what he gave you. It was completely new to you - what he was doing with his body to yours - but you'd be a liar if you told him you wanted him to stop. It was overwhelming and confusing but you would be the last person to put an end to what was happening. You both were young adults and embarrassingly inexperienced. Even though the awkwardness between you two for the rest of the day would be palpable; you two were too excited to finally get in on what every one else your age had already long since experienced. It didn't hurt you both found each other attractive...

The longer you found your tongue tangled up with his - the more handsy Yuji got. He wasn't only experiencing his first kiss - but many firsts. Like his first time touching a woman's breasts; feeling the weight of yours heavy in his hands as he kneaded and squished the supple skin. Since you two were just relaxing at home you didn't bother to wear a bra - something Yuji was grateful for as he reached under your shirt, his thumbs grazing your hardened nipples. He experienced making a woman moan for the first time - his attentive hands on your sensitive chest coupled with the feeling of his hard on barely confined under his loose sweatpants brushing against your center caused you to whimper - a sound Yuji could never forget even if he tried.

Your lips finally detached at the sound of your muffled moan - spit trailing from both of your mouths as you two pulled back. Both of you were out of breath, still holding onto one another while you struggled to fill your lungs up with air. "We should probably stop there," you suggested, all though the tone you used suggested otherwise.

"Yeah, probably," Yuji says unconvinced, his covered length beneath you twitches while you two only watch each other - eager to see what the other's next move might be. His hands are still on your chest - just beneath the underside of your breast and he fights to keep his hands from squeezing you one last time.

"Okay," you say, still perched in his lap.

"Okay," he responds, still holding your breasts.

You can only watch him as he watches you - both fighting against the realization that what was happening needed to come to an end. "How about just one more kiss?" he suggests and you nod, moving in to peck his lips; taking your time before pulling back to face him again.

"One more," you find yourself saying, again kissing him before pulling away. You both stare at each other - faces painted with pain trying to fight against what you both wanted but shouldn't be doing.

"We don't have to stop...." Yuji finally suggests, eyebrows scrunching nervously waiting for your response.

"Yeah... that works..." is all you say.

should i make a part 2? idk if i liked this....

[sunraies]

If your taking requests could you write buzzcut Rafe cameron x reader

Rafe being wiped for reader + reader being his passenger princess

No one is allowed to drive or sit in the front except her. If his going to a party with his friends they need to sit in the back because the front seat is her's

And if he is ever looking for a new car she needs to go with him so she can pick the one she likes couse it's "there" car and his girl needs to love it otherwise it's returned before you can blink

-🍷🍷

I absolutely love this idea! I hope I haven't completely butchered it x

Passenger Princess

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings - Fluff, small moment of pain.

As requested above

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Ever since your first date, Rafe didn't let anyone in the front seat. He would happily feel like chauffeur if it meant that the front passager seat was always yours.

"In the back, man," Rafe told Topper as he opened the passenger door.

"Wh. What?" Topper frowned, looking into the car and finding Kelce already sat in the back, who shook his head.

"Get in the back." Rafe looked at him like he was stupid.

"You can't be serious. It's just us three"

"It's my girl's seat"

"She's not even here," Topper protested and looked to Kelce for help.

"I tried, my dude. Just go with the crazy, "  Kelce shrugged.

"She will be later, and I don't want you musty ass on it." Rafe was deathly serious as Topper stared at him, like he'd grown two heads. "Get in the back or find another way,"

Rafe had offered them a lift to the main land as he was going to pick you up from a night out.

"Jesus, girl got you pussy whipped" Topper grumbled as he climbed into the back.

"How's that whiplash from Sarah feeling?" Rafe immediately shot back with a smirk as he glanced back in the rear view mirror.

○●○●○

The front seat of his car was truly yours. The glove box held your favourite hand cream and lip gloss, along with a few snacks. Which you happily munched on after Rafe picked you and Sarah up from the club.

You had been on the main land, celebrating a friends birthday. You had texted him that you were done way before the night was planned to be over. The crowded club, the music, and the lights all too much without him there. Even when Rafe arrived with Topper and Kelce, you just wanted to go home and what his girl wanted, she got.

"You good, baby?" He asked, glancing over at you as you had made yourself comfortable.

You nodded as you sat curled up his jacket while his hand rested in your thigh, his thumb gently stroking your exposed skin.

As Sarah slept in the back, you gently ran your nails on the up the back of his neck, lovely that his buzzcut gave you better access to his scalp. Your nails made him hum and smile.

"Thank you for getting us, handsome," you said softly and kissed his cheek as you leaned over the centre console.

"Of course, I would come get you, baby." He took your hand and  kissed your knuckles as he watched the road.

○●○●○

"Rafe, why are we at a car showroom?" You asked, as you sipped on an ice latte he brought you on the way.

He just smiled at you as he pulled into the parking lot. Every expensive make of car you could think of was there, all brand new and ready for Rafe to buy.

"Honestly, baby. Why are we here?" You asked, getting out of the car as he held the door open for you.

You felt very undressed in your crop top and shorts, while Rafe looked perfectly in place with his checkered shirt, chinos, and designer shades over his eyes.

"We are getting a new car, baby girl." He smirked and wrapped an arm over your shoulders as he walked you towards the showroom doors.

"Good afternoon, Mr Cameron. It's a pleasure to see you again. How may I help you?" A middle-aged man, in a perfectly ironed suit and tie, greeted Rafe.

"Help my girl with whatever she wants." Rafe politely shook his hand before resting his hand on your lower back.

The salesman was a little taken aback but quickly recovered and nodded before happily showing you to any car you liked the look of.

○●○●○

You loved Rafe's new car. It had all sorts of amazing controls that you happily played with every time you were in the car.

You loved the led lights on the floor and the way the speakers sounded. The heated seats and air vents were set just right for your comfort. It was so perfect that for the first week, you asked Rafe to go for a drive almost every day.

On a very hot day, you found a fault with it, but you didn't want to tell Rafe. You desperately tried not to wince every time you moved.

"What's wrong, baby?" Rafe asked, noticing how tense you were. You hadn't moved to play with the studio or grab your drink for a little while.

"Nothing." You smiled at him and played with his hand that had been in its normal place on your thigh.

Rafe looked you up and down before humming. Once it was safe to pull over, he did, turning off the engine and facing you.

"Something is wrong. What is it?" His tone was gentle but demanding.

You sighed, looking down at his hands. "You know. You know, I absolutely love this car, right?"

He nodded and gave you an encouraging look to continue, "But? I feel like there's a but there"

"But." You sighed. "The leather seats aren't the most comfortable with shorts on"

Most comfortable was an understatement, with the leather having been in the sun and you in shorts. It felt like the back of your thighs were on fire.

Rafe frowned before getting out and coming around to your door  "Get up, baby"

You shook your head, scared you would leave a layer of skin behind.

"Babygirl, I can't fix the problem if you don't get up," He said softly.

Moving off the seat was just as painful as you imagined. You winced in pain as you took Rafe's hand before looking to see the damage. Surprisingly, the seat was clear of skin, but damn, did you thighs burn.

"Jesus, baby," Rafe squatted down and gently touched your sore skin.

When you whimpered, he placed a gentle kiss on both before standing up. "Stay there"

He quickly opened the boot and grabbed the hoodie he always kept in the car for you. He placed it on the seat, making sure every bit of leather was covered before letting you back in the car.

Your plans for that afternoon changed there and then. Rafe drove right back to the showroom and demanded fabric seats in any pattern and colour of your choosing.

[blackmoonoracle]

𝓑𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓵𝓮 𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼.....

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ

What should you stop worrying about?

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ

The transformation of a project or relationship, you left something behind in search of something greater and you may be fearing this was your last chance. I think that you saw something very clearly and while others may not see it right now you're dodging a bullet. Hiveminds don't help, they usually harm. The fact you have the strength to go against the grain says everything about your character. You know what you witnessed, do not be afraid to stand your ground. I'm thinking of that one Kendrick song at the beginning "why god why god do I gotta suffer every stone thrown at you resting at my feet". It seems like people may be attacking you and you feel cornered, this could be that you removed yourself from a friend group and you feel vulnerable. They could have secrets about you that you're scared will be spread, but I promise you it's all good. I think what you don't see is this person only has a good reputation in that specific circle. LOL people fear them, but I feel like they're high-key becoming super irrelevant. Like no one outside of that circle listens to them anymore or wants much to do with them. You may have misjudged someone that warned you about them? The reality is the worst this person is going to do is watch you, you have too much dirt on them that's irrefutable. I feel like they said too much to you, trusted you too much, others are questioning them on why you removed themselves from the situation because they understand and trust in your character. You're actually not being negatively judged, people really adore you. Stop caring, this person is a complete loser. Even if you thought you guys were tight this person is FAAAKE. I'm feeling cancer, Libra, and Aquarius energy. This person could be a Capricorn, you might also be venusian? You'll be good babe, do you and watch the building burn behind you LOL.

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ

You need to stop worrying and allow yourself to recover, you may have experienced something traumatic recently. Money is coming slowly but surely, you may need to be doing something to release pain from your mind and body. I'm thinking of screaming for some reason, like you need to scream or be angry. Things just may be rough right now, but it's temporary. I literally hard tough times are temporary, you may be about to start your period and that could be why you feel so antsy. Things are dying right now so that new things can enter into your life, things wont be as painful as you think. You're solid, stop worrying about some relationship in your life being destroyed or ruined. I feel like you and this person are really good at avoiding and resolving conflict but you're in denial. You're so scared you're unable to properly enjoy things, and it's honestly kind of sad. Good things can happen to you too babe, you're not fated to suffer. You're recovering, from a lot of pain, and a lot of abuse, and a lot of emotional wounding. Sometimes you just need to learn to relax and allow things to flow as they need to.

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ

Recovering some kind of money, I feel like a loss you experienced is only going to lead up to a massive massive gain! Your idea of financial wealth and abundance may come from a place of trauma and self doubt. It's possible that you haven't ever experienced true stability, and that you've felt like you're constantly in limbo moving around pieces and trying to make things work. Sometimes you have to allow the universe to be silent, there's a control issue that roots from your insecurities. You have to learn to allow things to unfold, if you don't let things unfold they simply won't. Especially when we're dealing with manifestations, we may not understand why or HOW our manifestations are unfolding because we exist in a trauma based reality still. It's okay to let things close out, sometimes things must die and we must accept that at some point everything must end. I heard "all good things must come to an end". It doesn't mean good things don't last, and I feel like you're not understanding that whatever this good thing was you are genuinely viewing through rose colored glasses. It's going to be okay! I swear :(

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆

organization: i know it's the most trivial advice in the world, but i swear it works. before doing anything, i take my planner and review everything i have to do, i divide the study by subject, amount of things to study and review spaces for exams. realistically, you can't expect to do it all in one day, but a good plan could almost allow you to sleep at night!

a clean workspace: i can't fucking concentrate if there's a mess aroud me, i get distracted easily, even by dust, so before i start studying i always deep-clean my desk. i know that not everyone can afford a personal and quiet place to study in their houses, so try to find yourself a small angle where you can really focus.

go to study in a library / café: i didn't believe it at first, but it's actually useful. if you have the opportunity to go to a library or a café after school ( or near your house ) do so. being surrounded by people who are studying like you really helps to focus, you'll be less inclined to get distracted and procastinate. i would feel uncomfortable using my phone in a library with other people who are doing their work while i'm sitting there scrolling on tumblr.

breaks: ik ik, not very blair waldrof, hermione granger, spencer hastings, rory gilmore of me, isn't it? but is it worth it. sometimes i end up having really bad headaches from studying and, even if i keep studying, the quality of my work decreases significantly. breaks are fundamental. i would not recommend using social networks for your beak, because they litteraly drain your attention, rather do your skincare, prepare yourself a snack ( eating is important! it's what makes you focus ), read 10 pages of your book, dance a little bit in your room, do stretching, go outside and buy some mint chewingum, something like that.

EAT!: girls, boys and theys, we know. i honestly think that almost every person that craves academic validation ends up developing a sort of eating disorder. it's not even the food, is the fact that you are too busy studying that you forget to eat, ignoring stomach cramps, or the fact that you didn't get that answer right and now you don't feel like you deserve the lunch. i understand bc i AM like this, like you. but think about it: you need to do it in order to survive ( but this is secondary to the grades, right? ) and to keep your brain active. you can't walk around with blurred vision because you haven't eaten or drunk for fourteen continuous hours. i swear that eating like a normal human being helps you to keep going.

sleep: same thing as eating, but with our terrible sleeping schedules. i know that school is toxic so we end up finishing our homeworks at 2 am everyday ( if we're lucky ) but when you have the chance, take a nap and recover.

repeat things as if you were explaining them to someone: this is litterally the fastest way ever to learn fundamental concepts when you're studying. imagine that you're talking to a friend that doesn't know anything about the subject that you're studying and try to explain the topic to them. finding simple words for a difficult topic will help you understand it thoroughly, on this basis you can then build an articulated and more academic speech. repeat things out loud, doesn't matter if you look crazy, you already are <3

check and organize your notes the same day: i never have time to take proper notes in class, so i review them as soon as possible, with the lesson still fresh in mind. it really helps me understand the subject and makes the further study much easier.

watch youtube videos: youtube is my favourite class. sometimes teachers are dumber than students and you, who don't have a degree in that subject and are tackling a topic for the first time, don't understand a damn thing. ofc not!! sometimes professors are terrible at explaining stuff, but fazal from pakistan isn't. i passed my physics class with a 10/10 thanks to an indian guy on youtube. documentaries and yt videos are a simple and nice way to understand better topics and do insights for extra credits.

delete social media: i'm gonna do another post specifically for this.

"STUDY!" wallpaper: last but not least, the dumbest yet the smartest advice, set as lockscreen a white / black / whatever background with a big fat "STUDY!" written on it. everytime you're about to pick up your phone and procastinate the wallpaper will scold you.

hope this was useful or at least fun to read byee

[hellyeahsickaf]

I get disability memes on my Pinterest feed but after getting one for ER Drs/nurses that I found concerning, I kept seeing more and more like it and I went down a rabbit hole. I know it's one of the most stressful jobs someone can have and I really appreciate the medical staff that have been kind to me. These things are definitely made by the types of people who haven't been.

I think it's important because memes are kind of a way to let off steam but they mean what they're saying. They're not just jokes but they're framed in a way that they can say it more comfortably. Sometimes they're just straight up admitting to crimes and malpractice. It's like when someone says something that crosses a line in a joking tone so that if you feel attacked they insist it's just a joke and you're taking it too seriously. But my life is constantly in the hands of these people and I've been mistreated time and time again by medical personnel

I'm gonna go through them because honestly I hate them and there are a lot of repeating themes

These are extremely common. The focus of the meme being that a whiny patient is asking for pain medication that they clearly don't need. Something commonly mentioned in these is disbelief that the patient has an allergy because it's common for someone trying to get drugs to claim they have an allergy.

Also the Confucius one is both ableist and racist so double whammy I guess!

I've dealt with people I know are silently assuming this of me. I'm allergic to NSAIDs- deathly allergic and at risk for asphyxiation or anaphylactic shock. Medical staff sometimes have this attitude of "we know when you're faking your pain" (no really I had one say this shit on my post about this) and that has traumatized me immeasurably because they'd rather me wait for 4+ hours in some of the worst pain of my life than risk the possibility of me being an awful scheming mustache twirling addict.

This category is just as common. "I don't like you so I'm going to drug you". That's more fucked up than they seem to think it is.

Then there's the category of "you're a whiny little bitch and I don't believe a word out of your mouth". Which contributes heavily to medical malpractice and abuse

Again these are doctors and nurses making these, people responsible for treating patients with care and dignity and respect. Especially if they want any in return

Aaaaand this one is just a crime. One that's happened to me actually- reporting examinations that never happened to get rid of me because I was such a nuisance (crying, hardly coherent, drenched in sweat, 9/10 pain on arrival)

And then there are the ones like "don't mess with me because i handle your treatment/meds 💕". Things like "the way you treat me is the deciding factor for how fast I'm going to get your painkillers 😊". Which to me is just... evil?

I've never in my life mistreated medical staff but people in a lot of pain get mean sometimes. It's a survival instinct actually- for aggression to accompany pain or panic. Not that it's ever okay but it isn't personal

These are just a few examples really, there are so fucking many of these with this awful, cruel, cynical tone. There are some funny ones that aren't mean or degrading towards patients but so many of them are and in nearly every one I see a mean spirited healthcare worker that I've encountered at some point who damaged me in ways I will never psychologically recover from

[inexplicifics]

Hi! I recently found the snippet board in your discord, and I’m meeting a lot of characters that I don't think I’ve ever met before! Did you ever post Stasiek and Gerring or Maryla and Irena or Pru the seamstress or Elzbieta the protective mother whose child is Gardis’ Surprise Child to AO3? I’m quite surprised I haven’t seen them before.

I also found more snippets than I knew existed from your Cats Among Wolves series, and I can’t possibly describe the feeling of happiness I got even while I’ve been trying to recover from another round of covid. Any additional CAW snippets would be greatly appreciated if you can find them!

I haven't posted any of them yet, no! Most of those are WIPs.

Glad you're liking the Cats Among Wolves snippets; have a little one from the Letho WIP!

It takes the whole damn morning, but they wear it down, and it’s Letho who finally brings his sword down in a perfectly-aimed blow that splits the leshen’s skull in two. It collapses into a messy heap, and Letho and Gaetan both take a moment to catch their breaths, panting and grinning at each other over the carcass. Letho’s not sure which of them moves first - it could be both, honestly - but one minute they’re several yards apart, and then next Gaetan has his legs wrapped around Letho’s waist and his arms locked around Letho’s neck and they are kissing, ravenous despite the coppery taste of blood filling their mouths. Gaetan’s teeth are sharp and perfect as he nips at Letho’s lips, and Letho does his best to give back as good as he’s getting. “Fuck,” Gaetan pants as their mouths part. “Sure,” Letho says, grinning with all his teeth. “Now?”

[tendermiasma]

Anonymous asked: What is an average day for Halsin and Clover once they settle in together?

https://retrospring.net/@tendermiasma/a/113195848025491320

I haven't finished the game actually so I don't know what specifically Halsin does after BG3 (I'm in lower city act 3, life happened), but it seems like he'll find himself busy with very fulfilling social work and fighting the system wherever they go. Probably with kids (honestly I hope, please don't say anything). Clover is going to need to settle into a new reality where he's

being led out of survival mode and into a place that truly is safe that he can build a life in, and first he just needs a long time to recover. I see them spending a lot of time at home in the beginning but Clover doesn't follow him out as quickly as Halsin takes on those new responsibilities. Again, it takes time. Mostly at the start, he'd curl up somewhere small and wait for Halsin to come home. But as things go on, he starts gardening, he cooks for him as he's always done at camp because it brings him joy, finds hidden spaces in their home that makes Halsin think he's lost him for some horrible amount of time. He's very good at stowing himself away, like your cat going missing in your 500-square-foot apartment.

He's a weaver at heart, though-- that's what they called those who learned magic back in his village. His mother was a weaver, too. It was something she passed to him that no rift of time or memory could take away. He'd begin exploring magic for the sake of it, to understand instead of just to live to tomorrow, and he'd go on to make some notable contributions to the study of Fae magic. He never lost his quirky ways of spell construction, though. They'd always helped open up some aspects of the Weave for him that were a little unorthodox, if not necessarily recommended.

He did also join Halsin in his service to the community, in the ways that he could. He was always withdrawn and never learned to swim in the bustle of the city, but he was happy now; and Halsin had the best of both worlds. He found his anxiety fading about everything needing doing all the time, and instead it had become replaced with looking forward to coming home (even occasionally unashamed to make excuses to) because of a little someone who needed him just as much as the rest of the world did-- and whom he needed, too . Not to be too meta but I always pictured Halsin in a more grassroots role that became more apparent as something he truly wanted to do, as the game progressed, and I think Clover would be drawn to this too-- especially if they worked with children. Even if he never had the social stamina Halsin did. Both of them feel a strong need to protect kiddoes. Halsin has a long history of it and Clover lived it. He never wanted a child to feel that fear and utter loneliness, ever.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 14

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

TRAILER 1

TRAILER 2

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

sorry..... I had promised shorter chapters but.... ♡

All the people involved in this matter are legally of age in their own countries.

I am actually surprised at how peacefully the lunch is proceeding.... Although evidently displeased, the boys have taken Niki's decision with great maturity

I'm not saying I expected them to continue, however, I had my doubts that two established, arrogant, wealthy boys would listen to the words of a younger foreign boy.

They may not be as scary as I thought.

I didn't look Riki in the face anymore, really too ashamed.... he found me out. It was also all too obvious that I was looking his huge, veiny, olive cock, which is why he really thinks I want to ride him, which is actually true but strongly wrong.

"Lately Taehyun has been having problems with his throat - Yeonjun says, I, who haven't listened a single second of the conversation between them, staring my plate worriedly, am caught by this information and look the boy, he notices. - It's lucky we're stopped for a while."

Soobin nods worriedly, finishing eating a few slices of sashimi. I stare for several seconds as he sticks his tongue out to accompany the raw fish in his mouth, and it honestly gives me chills. He's so damn hot.

"Sunoo hyung has passed out several times lately." Riki says, before noisily sucking back his ramen.

Really? Why didn't I know that? No... how was I supposed to know? I hardly ever meet him. I turn to him worriedly, furrowing my brow.

"Really? - Yeonjun chuckles. - He doesn't seem like a weak guy."

The japanese man lifts his gaze to his hyung, annoyed. "It's because of these kinds of jokes that he stops eating during promotion periods."

Soobin looks at his bandmate and shakes his head displeased. "Can you not bother someone for ten seconds?"

"What can I do? They draw me like this." The older man justifies himself, laughing and eating.

Riki pours me wine, glares at me, and I snort. "Noona, do you know how much food costs here? Eat."

Honestly, it all looks delicious -- I don't want to give up right away, trying to stay that annoyed, but it's been several days since I've eaten very little and I'm experiencing too much excitement. I pick up my chopsticks and take a nigiri sake.

I can almost see him smiling when I eat the piece and my heart starts beating stupidly, not good. I lower my gaze.

In the end the food was so good that I ate most of it, now I recognize myself... i even drank moderately. I realize I don't exactly look like a lady but there's not much to hide now.

"It was good, wasn't it?" Riki asks me amused.

I look at him, feeling really lost when I see his face, each second getting stranger and harder to handle. "It was good."

"Better korean or japanese cuisine?" Yeonjun asks me.

"Better italian one." I answer.

They giggle, as if they expected such an answer.

I have to go to the bathroom, I get up. There's more drinking, I don't think they'll leave soon.

"Where are you going?" Riki asks me.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a second."

"Then finish drinking, I'm going to pay." Yeonjun announces, getting up.

I swallow upset, the japanese young man notices. "Do you know where it is? Shall I accompany you?"

"I'll ask someone on the staff." I reassure him.

"It's nearby, anyway." The boy replies, pouring himself what's left of the italian wine.

I pick up the bag and Riki doesn't seem to notice, as I'm leaving I hear Soobin say: "Are you that eager to offer?"

To Yeonjun who replies: "I'm the oldest, I should."

I don't know him well but I wouldn't trust his good intentions, he might want to annoy me in private. I speed up, approaching a waiter dressed differently from the others, perhaps a sommelier, of a certain age. He points me to the ladies' room and I rush there, literally.

The first thing I do, spontaneously, is look at my cell phone. There are messages from Heeseung, I immediately open the chat.

There're messages just about 20 minutes apart. Am I wrong, or is Heeseung... clingy? Why am I smiling like a fool? I have to stop fantasizing.

I put down the phone, not knowing what to answer, so I ponder it while I pee. What could I say to him? If I tried to reassure him, I would only end up pleasing him - instead I know very well that I have to stay away from him, that I have to minimize the chances of things getting complicated between us, not only with Heeseung.

I have to watch out for everyone a little bit now.

After washing my hands, I pick up the phone and start staring at him again.

I probably even miss him, but it's not my fault, it's Heeseung who is leading me on.

He.... he's online.

Maybe I'm being a little too direct, but it would still be strange to pretend nothing is wrong and answer him as if all ok. Since I don't think he will answer me in the nearest future, I put the phone away and leave the bathroom. As I suspected...

He stares at me, smiling, I am visibly annoyed. I don't want to talk to him, it's not just because of what he did to me (which I should actually thank him for.... kidding!), as much as it is because he with Heeseung.... no, I have to stop worrying about him.

"Were you expecting me?"

"I don't think so. - I huff, continuing to walk, he follows me laughing. - Shall we leave?"

"Don't run away." He says, grabbing my wrist before I can lower the handle of the private room.

"What do you want?"

"You weren't so obnoxious to me last night."

"I changed my mind." I admit.

Yeonjun smiles again. "What? Did Heeseung talk to you about me?"

"Not at all - I huff, avoiding his gaze. - It's just that you don't seem like a good person."

"Me? I'm a good boy, I even stopped when Niki asked."

"He didn't ask for it, he ordered it."

This time his smile looks annoyed. "Do you think if I wanted to continue, I wouldn't have?"

"Does that sound like what I meant?" I ask irritated as hell, looking at him badly now.

"Yes, it feels like it. - He approaches me, pulling me by the wrist. - Are you implying that I'm afraid of Niki? I stopped because I'm a good bpy - he lowers his voice - I just made you enjoy it."

I push him, suddenly heated. He bursts out laughing but just then we are spotted by the 30-year-old waitress who freaked out on me about Riki. Sighing annoyed, she's looking at me.

"Do you know her?" Yeonjun asks me, looking at her in turn.

I shake my head. "No, let's forget it. Let's go back inside now." I tell him, putting pressure on the wrist he's holding.

"Give me your number."

"What?" I ask surprised.

"I want your number."

"D-Does that sound right? Look I only work for Enhypen. " I'm being funny all of a sudden, but what am I thinking?

"Who talk about work?"

The lady approaches after observing us whispering to each other, and seeing her in front of me I stiffen, Yeonjun spontaneously removes her hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be brusque earlier." She says with an annoyed expression but a sorry tone.

"N-No worries." I reply, but I'm actually still pissed off.

"I thought you were dating Riki - she says, and maybe he told her to call him that, like he told me. I shouldn't feel sad about it but... - I didn't want to be rude. Can you tell Riki that I apologized?"

Yeonjun looks at her surprised and perhaps offended that she is not wagging her tail for him. "And you are?"

"A-Ah - she stiffens, pulling away and taking a long bow before him, - I'm Kim Shinhye. I am glad to know that she is here for you."

"She's here because she's a friend - Yeonjun says, making me startle, I look at him surprised - we having lunch with a friend. Just because she's a girl she has to be with someone?"

I see the waitress smiling with really obvious nervousness. "Is she perhaps famous?"

"No... just everyone knows her." He replies.

That's when the door opens, out comes Riki followed by Soobin, who observe the situation puzzled.

"You again?" Niki asks.

Shinhye lowers his gaze. "Mr. Nishimura.... I was just apologizing. Ask her." She says, pointing at me.

I arch my eyebrows in confusion. "Yes, that's actually true."

"Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?" He tells her bluntly but not brusquely, only in tone.

Honestly I would feel sorry for her if she wasn't a complete bitch. However, even so, I don't understand how Riki could be so insensitive without a second thought.... better not to become his enemy.

"W-Wait...you're misunderstanding- the maid tries to justify herself, grabbing me by the arm and shaking me. - You fucking tell him too!"

"But how old are you? - I ask her, annoyed. - What do you want from Riki?"

She didn't seem to expect such a question; she glares at me, I see her eyes go practically all black. Startled, I try to get her off me but Riki moves her hand away.

"Stop touching her."

I have chills, I really do. "Riki..."

Yeonjun sighs. "All right, so you won't give it to me?"

"What?" Soobin asks interested.

"Alright, then we'll continue the discussion on Instagram." He sighs, walking away.

"What are you two going to do? - The japanese man asks, confused. - Noona I leave you for a second and it ends like this?"

"You are irresistible." Soobin laughs, moving forward and heading for the exit.

Yeonjun laughs and follows him, Riki looks puzzled at me, in front of Shinhye who is watching the whole conversation for some reason, not seeming to remember the existence of pride.

"Shall we go?" I ask uncomfortably, under the girl's eyes.

Riki nods. "Did Yeonjun say something to you? What was he talking about?" He whispers to me.

I let it go and don't tell him, as we wait for the guys who are paying.

At the entrance we say a quick goodbye, Yeonjun winks at me before leaving and I sigh worriedly. Is he really going to look me up on Instagram? But really Yeonjun from TXT? I can't explain it.

With Riki we reach the parking lot, the driver waits leaning against the car and this time he opens the door first to me as Riki makes the rounds to get in alone. I inadvertently look into the man's eyes for a few seconds, then walk in embarrassed... I think I'm blushing. He is really charming.

I don't have time to sit up properly that Niki is all over me. He is really restless and I can't impose myself as he kisses my neck and caresses my hips. Why didn't I expect this? It was so obvious.

"Riki..."

"Noona if you want, you can refuse me. I get more horny." He says, between kisses.

I can't move, I feel cold sweat dripping down my forehead, meanwhile the driver has left. "It's no good, Riki..."

He doesn't care, he has lifted my shirt and uncovered my breasts bouncing before his thirsty eyes. He starts sucking on one of my nipples, and as I keep my hands on his shoulders, I can't help but gasp in pleasure.

He is so young... but his body is so big. Everything about him is... big.

I'm really excited, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to, but... it still feels wrong. Riki is just a kid, and I in a way don't want to dirty him too.

"I like the smell of your skin." He says, after leaving his saliva on my skin.

He takes off his shirt, looking at me. "Riki..."

"Noona, beg me to stop." He says, crazed, as he sweeps me off again.

I am under him, under his huge chest. He stares at me for a long time without doing anything, then bites his lip.

God, he is so handsome.

"I know you want to fuck me, so just do what I say."

I'm embarrassed as he stares at my breasts, I can't help but cover my face with both hands. "You're a pervert."

He gets on his knees as he pulls off my skirt, I keep my legs closed but he smiles. "Let me get a better look, noona."

He slips between my legs and now I try to cover my intimacy with my hands, I shouldn't feel shy but still I can't help it.

"S-Stop it..." I say under my breath, embarrassed.

Riki turns serious as he stares at me. "Really?"

I don't answer. Why don't I answer? Seeing him smile all of a sudden, I swallow awkwardly.

I told Heeseung that I wouldn't do anything like that with Riki...but then...why don't I push him away? Then again, would it really do any good to humor Heeseung? This excited kid in front of me doesn't seem to demur as he kisses me on the lips this time.

Unexpected.

"Noona, you are so pretty." He whispers as he grabs me by the waist and helps me sit on his lap, his back to me.

"Riki...I don't think...it's okay..."

He moves my hair, gathering it over one shoulder, kissing the nape of my neck; I shiver. "You worry about useless things."

He says this before unbuttoning his jeans, again, I feel him as he pulls out his cock and rests it on my bare back. Fuck, it looks really huge.

"Can you take it all in this position?" He chuckles sadistically.

I'm shaking, but not just from fear. "I-I don't think so... it's too big."

He grabs my knees, forcing me to spread my legs, toward the driver's seat, which faces me from the mirror. "Then you'll have to make an effort."

He thus begins to masturbate me, I am surprised, because he knows exactly how and where to touch me to perfectly stimulate my clitoris. I gasp, clinging to the front seats.

"A-Ah... Riki... in f-front...to him..."

"Don't worry about Mr. Nam." He whispers, biting my earlobe as I grow wetter and wetter.

Instead a little I worry, in fact, I am completely alarmed that I am panting so uncomfortably in front of him. I realize, as Riki lifts me up by my hips and without any warning shoves his huge cock deep into my pussy, that the driver has become aroused - he is evidently hard. I screamed.

Don't ask why I was looking right there.

Riki starts moving my body with authority, slamming his cock moistened by my humors harder and harder inside. Panting behind me, his voice is beautiful....

"A-Ah... R-Riki... G-Gently..."

"Beg me. - He says, sinking his fingers even deeper into my hips as he pushes me so hard it feels like an earthquake inside the car. - You won't do it anyway, you're a whore."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck.

My voice comes out erratic but high-pitched as I can't help enjoying the length of him filling me completely. I am so wet that I spurt all over as he simply thrusts more and more brutally into me.

I'm not even sure it all goes in, from the moment he thrusts it in I can't tell. It is as if I am being possessed by a demon that has physically entered my whole body. Since I can touch his legs, when I go back down, I guess it really goes all the way in.

It's unbelievable.

"Ah.... do... slowly... I'm.. I'm..."

"You're so tight, I want to open more you right now." He whispers again, biting my neck and starting to suck in the area where I feel like Heeseung has left his mark.

"Ri...Riki!" I scream, I just can't contain myself, he is using my body like a doll, moving it as he wants, pushing his cock down to my throat while I can only take it.

"You're on the pill, aren't you?" He asks me, focused.

"Y...Yes..."

By dint of watching me, Mr. Nam was about to take the curb. He swerves sharply and I almost hit my head on the window, luckily Riki holds me up with his hand, but then I hear him laughing - all without giving me a second's respite.

"Mr. Nam, you don't want to kill us.... Go ahead and pull over, you should free yourself too."

What? No, wait, isn't this man going to be brought in as well? He's very handsome, sure, I'd really fuck him too, but isn't he a little old? There's still Riki, although now his innocence shouldn't be my priority....

The man nods, and after a few minutes, as I continue to let Riki use me with his cock growing harder and thicker inside me, he changes directions. It is a strangely lonely area, there are a few factories but no residential areas of any kind.

We approach a strange shed, I notice but can't concentrate as Riki continues to fuck me.

We go inside, the lights are all off but after parking, the driver gets out of the car and closes the electronic gate, turning on the lights. I am upset, Riki, on the other hand, is obviously very quiet.

"Now I'm going to fuck you in front of this old pervert, noona." He says, lifting me by the hips and slipping out of me. He grabs my hair, it doesn't hurt but I can tell he wants to dominate me.

"A-Ah... Stop... saying... t-things like that!"

We get out of the car dragging me, when I'm standing up in front of him, I see him throw his tshirt on the ground, then he pushes me against it making me kneel down. "You made Mr. Nam horny...even if he can't touch you, you should make him cum."

He says, as the expressionless man moves closer again.

Riki grabs me by the hair again so that I'm 90 degrees in front of him, practically, at the driver's feet.

Riki pushes his cock back into me, and even though the position has changed, I still feel him dramatically inside. His big balls also slam against my clit, making me enjoy it even more. It is as if they are hitting it.

Mr. Nam wasted no time in pulling his cock of considerable length, but certainly more restrained, starting to masturbate in front of my face.

I don't have to do anything with him, he will just look at me.... Why is it so good for me? Damn.

"Ah..."

"Noona, you really like making men cum, don't you?"

How humiliating, how many humiliations today, but all this only turns me on even more. I'm desperate but I want more and more.... if necessary, maybe I'd even do it with Mr. Nam now.

No, remains lucid Amanda.

"Ah fuck - gasps Riki - should we call Heeseung hyung? This time you won't be able to say... I'm not touching you." He laughs.

Maybe... if I begged him-would he change his mind? "Please... Please... Riki..." My voice is broken, due to his blows.

"He might even jerk off listening to you."

Fuck...if he says these things...no! Let's leave Heeseung out of this!

"I p-pray you..."

"Ah... noona... - sigh tiredly - then you really don't want they to know?"

"N-No..."

"Then you should become my slave." He laughs again, grabbing me by the shoulders and making me stand up while he is still inside me. What a crazy feeling.

Mr. Nam stares at me as he continues to masturbate, his eyes are very cold. Riki starts fucking me again by holding me up by my shoulders, and my breasts bounce in front of the man as the younger kisses my neck and lifting one of my thighs goes in harder.

"Ah!" I shout again.

"I'll keep the secret if you... - seems to freeze and slow down as if he's about to cum -- will let me do anything I want to you."

"R...Riki..."

I don't know what to think; I'm having an orgasm. My voice echoes through the room, below are their masculine breaths of pure pleasure.

"Yes, I will use you whenever I feel like it."

"R...Riki...ah! - I feel like I'm going crazy, he started going hard again. - Don't... I c...c... I can't..."

"Don't piss me off, noona... - He snorts, suddenly abrupt even in his tone of voice. - You enjoy like a bitch and you have...ah.... the nerve to deny it?"

"Mr. Nishimura- the man speaks, sounding like he's about to cum, actually backing away but unable to finish the sentence that his cum splashes against my belly and thighs - fuck...that was not my intention." He curses, surprised at himself.

Riki is equally surprised, as he pulls back but just then I feel him cum inside me. "Oh...fuck...noona..."

I hear him cum for several seconds, as if he really had a lot of it. Then he pulls it out still hard, as his seed slips out of me, I'm about to fall over, I feel my knees go soft, luckily the driver notices and grabs me by the shoulders, even though I see him blatantly looking at my tits, then looking away.

Ah, men.

"Yah! Leave her!" Says, in an almost childlike tone, Riki.

"I apologize." Sighs the man, evidently uncomfortable.

"Sit in the car - the boy tells me, holding me up to sit since the door was already open - do you want some water?"

"Do we have any?" I ask, exhausted.

Riki looks at Mr. Nam, who shakes his head. "Okay, we can buy it."

How cute-no! I have to stop.

Riki hands me a package of tissues. "There's no bathroom here, but we're going home now."

"All right... thanks." I sigh, taking some of them, however I still feel uncomfortable wiping in front of them, Riki notices and coughs.

"Let's not look, okay?" He says, turning around, and the driver does the same.

Ah...why are they all so crazy?

Maybe it's because these are kids who are denied intimacy, what they want is just to get laid and maybe this method can provide for some disorders.... but still, they too would have the right to date whoever they want.

Riki doesn't really seem so bad, though... he's so horny!

I clean up, get dressed, open the door to signal him to come back up, and so in silence we set off home. We don't talk at first, Riki looking at his cell phone, me out the window.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

I nod in confusion. "What about you? Are you used to these things?" I ask seriously.

He doesn't answer right away but I don't know what his expression is, then I hear him breathing deeply. "To what?"

"The exhibitionism, the humiliation."

He pauses again. "It's the things I usually look at on porn sites."

Ah, I feel like I'm talking to a kid, oh right, he is, more than the others by the way.

"I see."

I hear him snort. "You mean to tell me you didn't like it?"

"I loved it. - I answer coldly. - I feel terrible for this."

"Why do you have to go to all this trouble?"

I suddenly turn away, angry. "Why shouldn't I make them? I never wanted anything like that from you."

Riki tightens his lips annoyed, but his gaze is hurt. "But I do want it, isn't that why you're here? Does it bother you that much or is it really for Heeseung?"

I swallow, why does he keep bringing it up? "I'm not so crazy to think I'm interesting for Heeseung! But even so, I don't want anyone to know about what happened. None of them."

"They already know you've been with everyone else." He replies visibly irritated.

"But not with Riki - I say with tight lips, suddenly sad. He's like a big puppy to me, I don't want that kind of relationship. - Everyone but Riki. Riki is more precious."

Why does he look at me so surprised? What did I say that was special? It breaks my heart to suddenly see him so vulnerable, then he turns around proudly.

"You're making fun of me. It's just that I'm not good, am I?"

"Then you don't believe me? - I raise my voice, but I didn't mean to, so he resumes looking at me, looking hurt, and that upsets me. - I don't want that from you, Riki. You've been harassed, abused, and I know you're getting your revenge now, but please don't stop being the carefree, silly Riki."

I know I shouldn't, but I caress his cheek naturally, and although he jerks back perhaps involuntarily, then returns close to my palm and lets me caress him.

"That happened today...do you really want this? I want to keep being your fan, I want to keep loving you as something precious, unattainable. - I smile, I feel like crying. - I loved you all so much."

"Noona..." He says, confused, as I pull my hand away.

"Also - I try to compose myself, wiping away tears quickly - don't base sex on pornography, it hurts and harmful. Don't treat girls like that Shinhye, even if they are as annoying as she is. I wish you were a good person."

"Noona stop lecturing me." He puts on an adorable pout, crossing his arms over chest.

"I'm not lecturing you."

"We can do it without others knowing."

Really? Is he serious? NO! It doesn't matter!

"Riki! You know I didn't mean that.."

"Do you really want this? Fine." He seems to throw in the towel, and I breathe out relieved, though a little bitter.

"Are you going to hate me for this?"

"I'll have to think about it." He replies with his back to me as he looks out the window.

Really? Was it that simple? Or is he simply testing me to see if sooner or later I will give in? Of course, I was so close.... he really is... I can't explain it in words, but his mere presence by my side makes me feel heated, restless, a fire.

"They haven't always been bad, though - he snorts, after a while, - but some have been very kind to me."

"Sunoo?" I smile softly.

"Yes, he is a kind hyung. Jongseong, too..."

"What about Jake?"

Shit, I ask aloud. He turns and stares at me in silence for several seconds, then snorts. "Not him."

"You two looked close, from the outside." But why am I continuing to talk?

"We look like a lot of things, from the outside."

"I hoped he'd at least been nice to you." I admit embarrassed.

Maybe because deep down I hoped he was a nice person.

Riki twists his lips noisily, back to looking outside. "He was, but then...he turned out to be what he is. That's all."

The way he turns on his cell lets me know that the conversation is over here, he's put a period on it. Maybe that's okay, I certainly can't ask him for the details of the situation.... not yet, clearly.

We get home feeling really exhausted, I want to take a shower but I guess I'll have to wait for Riki since he doesn't have a bathroom in his room. He heads to his room, motioning me to follow him.

"Set up wherever you want." He says, picking up some clothes piled on the bed to move them to the desk chair.

This room is definitely a mess, actually looking like a teenager's room....

"Shall I wait for you to shower?" I ask him.

He takes off his shirt in front of me. "No, you go ahead. You have...a lot to clean up."

Indeed.

I thank him with a nod, then go to Jay's room to get some clothes; he's not back yet thankfully. I don't know who is home right now, but the apartment is very quiet.

As I am about to enter the bathroom a ghost appears behind me, grabbing me by the arm and making me turn around.

Whoever doesn't die... meet again.

"Did you have a good time today? How many times did he fuck you? - He exclaims without turning around, looking at me as if I were dressed like a prostitute. - Do you like fucking children?"

Taken aback, I watch him. Actually he has hardly ever been so scurrilous, so what's wrong with him all of a sudden? He seems nervous but I don't understand why he should be.

"Ew, can you not talk like that? Riki is not a child anyway." Only after I speak do I realize that I have given a very different answer than I had thought.

The moor stares at me for a long time, thinning his gaze in annoyance. "So he fucked you."

Why is he surprised? They all forget why I am in this house. "No, I didn't." I blatantly lie.

"Liar."

"If you don't believe me, it's better so you stay away from me." I reply.

I actually sound swaggering, but I can't even get a good look at his face that my heart rises in my throat. It's just that I keep thinking about Riki's words, his claim that Sunghoon really has interest in me... it's not that I'm deluding myself, it's just that such information is hard to handle, even if it's false.

"As if you really wanted." He sneers, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you want S-Sunghoon? Don't you have plans?"

"Cute - he says, sticking a finger in the neckline of my T-shirt to lower it slightly - your clothes." He does it again, like that day in Jay's balcony.

"I don't want to waste any more time - I blurt out, turning away from him, not understanding how he dares to act like this after what happened tonight - have a good evening, Sunghoon."

I go to go inside the bathroom but he grabs me by the wrist, looks at me for several seconds, then his gaze shifts to the hickey that stupid Heeseung left me.

"Tomorrow my shift starts, remember?"

"You're going to say you're not going to fuck me, and then that's the first thing you're going to do?" I provoke him, since he just won't let me go.

"How vulgar, oh my God."

I smile in frustration; that's a wall in front of me, not a human. "Are you done?"

"Sure - smiles the asshole in turn - but first tell me, who did that to you? Heeseung or Riki?"

I swallow, not seeing why I should tell him. "Is that your business?"

"You don't want to answer because it's Riki? You really are the worst - I thought you would at least behave well with him." He has a voice that flaunts superiority, contempt.

"It wasn't him! I told you nothing happened with Riki!" But why do I justify myself to Sunghoon? Why do I do what he wants?

He who had looked away offended, now stares at me again, his eyes serious, perhaps surprised? "Oh, yeah? - I force my arm for him to let go of me, but he tightens his grip. - And tell me, what does Heeseung think about last night?"

What the... What kind of question is that? What does it mean and why does he care? Maybe I got into the middle of a power war, maybe I haven't realized what's going on yet.

"What?"

"You understand very well." He answers seriously.

"No, I didn't understand anything. Last night? What happened last night?" I ask, wanting him to admit it, wanting to hear him say it.

The result, however, is that I see him get so impatient that he lets go of my wrist to grab my face and squeeze my cheeks. "You... you won't tell me? Then I'll have to find out for myself tomorrow."

I swallow rightly frightened, but also very intrigued, lucky I don't have to admit it.... But fine, let him make all the plans he wants - I will refuse, and that's within my rights. If that's not enough, then I'll ask Heeseung for help... though I'm not sure I can really trust him.

I immediately thought of Jay, but by now things have broken down between us and he will obviously no longer be my ally.

"I will refuse."

"We'll see." He chuckles, letting me go and walking away.

He is dressed to go out, meaning he will leave. I watch him disappear down the hall and then sigh, entering the bathroom. I have to send a message to Heeseung, despite everything I've been thinking about it.

im home

He never answered my question and that makes me sigh with sadness, but I put on the music and try not to think about it. I take a long relaxing shower but at one point I feel like I'm going to pass out and hold on to the walls, I almost slipped.

I got terribly dizzy, it would be better to get out as soon as possible. After combing my hair I rinse, cover myself with my robe and sit for several seconds, although I am not thinking about anything precisely.

I feel weak, tired, I guess it's because of the situation.

I am emotionally and physically fragile, but it's best to keep this just between me and myself.

After settling down, I reach Riki's room again, after all, this is where I should be today. He is lying on the bed, in his boxers though, I immediately turn my back on him after entering.

"Noona, are you ashamed?" He asks me amused, getting out of bed and joining me.

I swallow, his voice making me seriously tremble. "The bathroom is free..."

Riki gently grabs me by the face, making me turn around, I shiver. "You look a little pale, noona."

"Really?" I ask.

I actually know I'm not feeling too well, but I don't want to give it away, preferring to wait for him to go wash up and get some rest. He's watching me, looking worried but I don't understand if I should believe him, after all, I'm still a stranger.

Being I here for work, if I were sick I would be a nuisance. Besides, I'm supposed to have my doctor's appointment after tomorrow anyway, so I can get some vitamins or supplements prescribed.

"Shall I order medicine?" He asks me.

I can't speak at the moment, I look at him in silence, he seems so...thoughtful. "N-no, you don't need it! I'll wait to see the doctor so he can tell me what products to take."

"Are you feeling weak? Vitamins don't need a prescription - he sighs, why does he do that? - Sunoo hyung has so many."

"It's ok, really!"

"Explain how you feel."

Oh fuck, Riki, if you do that it will seriously look like you care about me or my health. I sigh, thinking that if nothing had happened today, together (xtomorrow? but reverse) with him and his friends, I'd feel more comfortable now, I'd make less trouble.

But this sort of dissonance between his caring and his sexual urges makes me feel apprehensive.

"It's nothing, I just feel a little weak. It must be fatigue, I haven't slept much."

Riki takes me by the hand, while wearing only his underwear (funny), and helps me sit on his bed. "I'll go wash up, in the meantime I'll call Sunoo hyung. Do you have any pain? Are you feeling dizzy or nauseous?"

"I feel a little dizzy." I confirm.

"Get some rest while I try to figure out what I can salvage."

He says this while wearing sweatpants. I try to look away as I lie on the bed, too tired to feign embarrassment. Riki walks over and looks down at me for a few seconds before placing his palm on my forehead.

"Well, you don't seem to have a fever."

"Like a fever... fever... fever..." I hum, I'm an idiot.

The boy bursts out laughing. "You also have a sense of humor, then you're really okay!"

"I'm fine, I told you. It's strange if you worry for me."

He crosses his arms over his chest. "Why? You said you wanted to be friends."

I arch an eyebrow, feeling strange that he gave any weight to these words. "Really?"

"Friends care."

Ah, it's strange. A man's body, a man's voice, several other manly things..... but I still feel like I'm talking to a kid, and it's the sweetest feeling.

I smile faintly. "Thank you."

I see Riki stiffen and turn away surprised at my words. "So...I'm going. I'll be back in a little while."

I nod tiredly, leaning more comfortably on his pillow. "See you later." I say, before closing my eyes.

I don't think I will sleep, but resting my eyes will help.

I feel Riki leave the room, I stay in his scented sheets, his pillow smells like his hair, it is a very pleasant pungent and masculine fragrance.

Eventually, however, I fall asleep anyway, it is too relaxing.

When I open my eyes it seems to have gotten dark outside, Riki is not in the room and may never have returned. I sit on the bed and stretch, actually sleeping has been really good for me, what a nice feeling.

I look at the nightstand looking for my phone but find a glass of water and some vitamin packets there, a method they use in South Korea but not only, to organize them septically.

I shouldn't trust them too much, they could very well be drugs but it would seem pointless to waste them on me who should be doing everything they tell me anyway.

I smile amused, I don't really mean it after all.

However since I'm better, I don't take them and head out of the room. I hear talking toward the living room, I don't know if I should approach, but in fact I don't know what to do.

I see Jungwon in a tank top sitting on the floor, he is eating together with Jay who immediately notices me, as does the leader.... I was actually looking for Riki.

"Are you okay? Niki said you weren't feeling well." Jungwon asks me, apparently concerned.

Jay has his back to me and goes back to eating, saying nothing, and that creeps me out.

"I was a little tired... that's all." I explain, embarrassed.

"Come, eat with us."

I look at the clock on the wall and note with surprise that I have slept for quite a while, since it is dinner time.

"Ah...don't worry!"

"Are you looking for Riki? - Jay asks me from behind, his voice really cold, he doesn't sound resentful but indifferent, which is worse. - He's gone out, he'll be back in a little while. Did you take your vitamins?"

"No...I don't think they're needed. I'm much better now." I reply, my eyes downcast.

The house is actually very quiet apart from them. I wonder if Heeseung answered, since I left the room without finding the phone.

"Come on don't be shy, sit down." Jungwon smiles, returning to his meal.

I nod shyly and walk over, sitting on the floor (since they are eating on the low table) on the side farthest away from them, I would feel uncomfortable getting too attached. They look like homemade dishes, Jay probably cooked them, look really good.

"Why do you sit so far away, noona?" The younger man asks, grabbing me by the loose T-shirt I'm wearing to get closer to him, as if I don't weigh anything.

I can't believe I've heard him say noona to him, too....

He's really handsome up close, looking fake.

"Where have you been? Have you been paying attention?" Jay asks, picking up some vegetables with his wand and bringing them elegantly to his mouth.

I stay to observe how incredibly ethereal he looks even as he eats. "It was a restaurant."

"You had lunch, just you two? Like a date?" The young leader seems genuinely surprised as he picks up a few bites from each plate in a bowl and places it in front of me.

"No.... there were friends." I say this so softly that the two look at me confused.

"What friends?" Jay is the one speaking.

Should I tell him? I don't want Heeseung to know, and I think it would come out if I said it now, though... what if I lie and everyone finds out? What a figure...

Am I being selfish? I guess so.

"Just... Soobin and Yeonjun."

Jungwon bursts out laughing and choking, Jay puts down his chopsticks visibly irritated. "That brat... Did they do something to you?"

Ouch, that hurts.

Maybe it's because it seems to me that even if everyone knew, they would only worry about their pride, while Jay is probably really worried about me. He knows men in a way that men do not accept.

I look at him silently, smile automatically but it is the most painful smile I have made since I have been in Korea.

"No, don't worry."

"Really?" He asks, not believing me.

Jungwon wipes himself with a napkin, then turns to me. "Yeonjun is a pervert, I know him."

"They were g-gentle, then, this time." I continue to smile but increasingly nervously.

"I just want to remind you that you're not a fan here. - It says rigid Jongseong. - Think of your own safety."

"Seriously, stay away from Yeonjun." Laughs his friend, resuming eating.

I can't help but wonder why I didn't leave when Jay asked me at first. I look at him with a broken heart because really, maybe he... is the only one. But there is also the Jay of this morning who is freaking creepy.

"I like Soobin better, he's more elegant." I reply, noting Jay is actually very stylish too, even in his home clothes.

"I would date Soobin too if I were a girl." Jungwon says, helping me lighten the mood.

"You can do it even if you are a boy." Jay replies, picking up his chopsticks tiredly.

The younger man looks at him. "Oh yeah, that sounds too complicated to me."

"You should do whatever you want."

Yeahm.... when and where do you hear a guy in his position making such speeches? It seems strange to me, though, that Jungwon would react like that since in short...I always thought that among them at least one homosexual had to be, statistically speaking. Not to mention the various applications like bisexuality increasing the percentage.

"What about you hyung? - Jungwon asks, shrugging his shoulders in a cute and silly way. - Would you go out with me with no problem?"

Jay slowly lifts his gaze to his friend, smiles amused. "Anytime, Wonnie."

I see Jungwon blush blatantly and cover his mouth with his hand. "Hyung you are the worst."

"Don't react too cutely." He replies in a deep voice.

Excuse me? I feel both too much and horny, is that normal?

The front door clicks open, contrary to my belief it is neither Riki nor Heeseung but Jaeyun. He takes off his shoes and then lifts his gaze to us.

"I'm home."

"Have you eaten?" Jay asks.

I see the beautiful, enchanting, amazing Jake turn a confused, naive puppy.... like gaze on me. "Where's Riki?"

"I guess he saw some friends for a smoke." Won replies.

I tighten my lips in concern. "Does he do this often?"

"When he doesn't, you should ask." Sighs Jake, sitting next to Jay and watching me for several seconds.

"He'll stop when he goes into burnout." Nods Jungwon.

Jongseong twists his lips. "Don't be so quiet."

"As long as we make him think it's weird, he'll do it out of rebellion. But he can't keep up these rhythms by smoking all the time." Instead, the leader explains very calmly.

"His loss. - He mumbles Jake as he seems to get a better look at me, then rolls his eyes in surprise. - Yah, was it Niki?"

I blink a few times, confused. "Huh?"

"The hickey!" He raises his voice.

Oh right, I had completely forgotten about that! Instinctively I cover the compromised part, then realizing it's no use I sit back composed with my eyes downcast.

"No, he didn't do it."

Silence. A long silence between us.

"Ah, it was Heeseung, huh?" Sighs Jaeyun, who, on the contrary, doesn't seem as bothered.

Is it not that he is jealous of Riki? I'm fantasizing, I evidently read too much BL in my teens.

I am lying, however, because in the shower I saw that Riki chose exactly the place where Heeseung had branded me, covering it with a larger patch.

They all resume eating in silence, Jay being the only one who seems really annoyed, who knows precisely about what. Jake on the contrary seems disappointed, but not angry.

What they all have in common though is that no one is criticizing or attacking me. They... they are the only normal ones?

I eat my first bite of the evening when the front door clicks again. I look up and immediately meet Heeseung's eyes, geez...geez! Is my heart beating? Please, no.

"Yah, you idiot! Don't you have a phone?"

Jungwon arches his eyebrows and turns to the older. "Do you have her number?"

I'm the one he should ask. "Aren't you going to answer it?" Heeseung blatantly ignores him, turning to me.

I spontaneously smile. "What? I don't know where my phone is, I was sleeping."

He huffs as he picks up his phone and has a really annoyed expression, then does something with it but I don't understand what and takes off his shoes, stepping back in.

"Have you eaten?" Jay asks, also to him.

Heeseung shakes his head. "If you haven't prepared extra I'll order takeout."

"No, it's bad for you - sighs the younger one, though he acts like an older brother as he gets up. - I'll just take a second, sit down in the meantime."

Despite everything, he can't help but worry about the health of his members, this really makes him similarly a leader. I can't help but follow him with my eyes as he goes back to the kitchen and Heeseung stands in the side of the table between Jake and me.

"All you do is look at him." Complains my peer, catching my attention.

I look at him, not wanting to but surprised he says it in front of everyone. "It's nice of him to take care of dinner for you."

He gives me a bad look, looking like a shaggy kitten. "The perfect hubby, right?"

"And you, if you were girls, would you date Jongseong?" Jungwon asks.

Jake glares at him. "Do you have to be a girl?"

"So to speak." Mumbles Jungwon, eating his bite.

Heeseung mumbles loudly. "No. I would only date bad boys."

Jaeyun seems to chuckle softly. "Then would you date Sunghoon?"

"W-what? No! I would date me!"

"You're not a bad boy." Jungwon comments.

Heeseung is incredulous and outraged. "What? Would I be a good boy? Me?"

"You're definitely not bad, maybe stupid or superficial." Sighs Jake.

I laugh as I chew, so I cover my mouth. The oldest man in the band looks at me offended. "What makes you laugh?"

"The idea of you dating Sunghoon. - I admit, imagining that it really should be an amazing show. - It's cute."

"I wonder who would be on top." The leader wonders aloud.

Jake stifles laughing. "Stop, please."

"Fucking laughing, of course I'd be on top."

"It's funny because you take it seriously." Jungwon says.

We all burst out laughing, even Heeseung.

Yes, because after all he is happy to have monopolized everyone's attention, this obviously pleases him. I don't understand, I should find this unbearable and creepy but for some reason I feel like I can forgive him, that I want to be understanding.

When Jay returns we resume eating, Heeseung, unlike all the others who seem like true princes as they eat (apart Jaeyun who is not exactly composed but not too disheveled either), gorging himself without dignity and his expression fulfilled by the food is fantastic. He looks genuinely happy; he doesn't usually have this expression.

"Where is Niki?" Heeseung asks with his mouth full, gross.

Jungwon seems to sense a noise before the others. "There he is."

In fact, the door clicks right after his words, and although it creeps me out, what really scares me is seeing Sunghoon when I was expecting Riki.

He first looks at Heeseung, says nothing, then quickly looks at me and ducks down to take off his shoes.

What a strange feeling to be in the same room with both of them.

"Have you eaten Hoon?" Jungwon asks, anticipating Jay who didnʼt seem to want to say anything this time.

"Yes." He answers coldly, then sets off to his room without saying anything else.

When I turn to Heeseung I see him with a stooped look and a confused expression. He has stopped eating and his cheeks are still full, he is really cute, even now, looking like a squirrel. Jake on the contrary eats quietly, but it is obvious that the mere sight of Sunghoon has unnerved him.

Eventually they get to talking about jobs, commitments, the comeback coming up soon that will take them away for a long time, with promotions and touring. I look at them wondering what I will be doing then during that time - but of course I don't have the courage to ask.

"What are we going to do with her?" Jungwon asks, seeming to read my mind.

I look at him in silence. "She's coming with us." Heeseung replies.

"I don't think we can do that." Jay reminds him.

Jake sighs. "Indeed. It's dangerous for her, too."

"We certainly can't leave her here."

Heeseung... everything you say hurts me. You're so good at deluding me, I can tell you've taken a liking to it, but I don't think I'm that strong.

"Why?" Jaeyun asks coldly.

"What?"

"Why can't we leave her here?"

Jongseong coughs, getting up holding his plate. "Put everything in the dishwasher, don't leave a mess."

He looks annoyed. Jungwon looks at him amused, then sighs and rests his chopsticks on his plate, picking up the empty bowls before following his hyung into the kitchen.

Who knows what they will talk about alone.

"Aren't you too involved?" Jake asks suddenly, as Heeseung resumes eating.

"Am I involved? I'm welcoming. I treat her like the others."

The younger man smiles, before taking another bite. "Maybe you're right. - He lift his gaze to me, and I lower it. - Give me your number."

I blink in surprise. "Huh? Sure..."

Heeseung gives him a bad look but says nothing. Telling him the number, he jots it down. When things have gotten really tense, here comes Sunghoon, and this time I'm the one who puts my chopsticks down on the table, sighing.

He sits on the floor, instead of Jungwon, so next to me. I shudder.

"Hadn't you eaten?" Heeseung asks, annoyed to see him take a bowl from under his nose and approach it.

"In fact, I did have dinner. I worry about you, I don't gain weight anyway."

I know he's been willfully being a jerk to his bandmates, and I'm too annoyed to stay so I take my plate and stand up, Heeseung watching me silently but not stopping me, unlike Sunghoon who pulls me from the oversize shirt I'm wearing more like a dress.

He seems to laugh, then barely lifts the fabric, not discovering me but this alarms me and I jerk away.

Fuck.

"Yah, what the fuck are you doing?" Heeseung blurts out.

Sunghoon laughs. "I thought you were wearing shorts. You walk around like that in a house full of men?"

"It's not like they're all like you." I reply boldly, even though I feel like dying.

"There's no need for you to leave just because I'm here. - He tells me, suddenly serious. - And anyway, yes, everyone."

Riki re-enters at that moment, looking dazed, maybe it's true that he's been smoking. He certainly is. He looks at me surprised, then smiles genuinely.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks.

"Are you sick?!" Heeseung and... Sunghoon ask almost alarmed. Is that so?

"Have you finished dinner? Let's go to bed."

It's not exactly bedtime, but what can I do but nod? He puts a hand behind my back and walks me into the kitchen, ignoring all his hyung.

"Sorry, I thought you were sleeping longer."

"Where have you been?"

He looks at me for several seconds, then we walk into the kitchen. "I was with friends."

"Riki, you need to be careful."

"Don't lecture me, I told you." He complains, taking the plate out of my hands to put it in the sink in front of Jongseong, who is sprucing up the cooking area.

Jungwon, sitting at the kitchen table, smiles amusedly. "Riki, will you stop doing drugs? Honestly, do you want to be poor again because of a couple of joints?"

The young boy is surprised but equally amused. "I only smoke with colleagues, if I get exposed they get caught too. Let's be careful, we're all boys and we don't meet girls. Don't be on my case too."

"You're japanese, forget it?" Sighs Jay, concerned.

"But I'm too handsome, koreans are dumb enough to get over it. I also have a dick."

"Don't think koreans are so obvious." Jungwon reminds him, who doesn't seem to be taking the conversation seriously.

"Surely koreans girls are." Riki explains.

He should not talk like that about his korean fangirls, Riki, just as is often the case in Korea, is so prejudiced against them. I look at him worried and disappointed, he notices.

"What?"

"Riki, they love you. You shouldn't disappoint them."

"They want me. They don't care about me."

"Noona, Riki has had bad experiences." Jungwon says smilingly, though his gaze is sharp and serious.

"With adult women, right? - I ask, remembering the time he was assaulted by a saesaeng visibly much older than him at the airport, or the lady who touched him under the guise of frisking him. - Then you shouldn't be dating woman of 30."

He snorts like a kid. "She's twenty-seven."

"But didn't you say you didn't like older girls?" Jay asks curiously.

"I was saying that to reassure the fans and ward off the crazy chicks."

So...isn't it that maybe he took the trauma and made it part of his personality? It's terrible to think that after being molested, he would hang out with adult women (whom he probably mistreats).

"My guess is you're just saying that because Amanda is there." The leader laughs again.

"Even if it is, so what?" He replies, suddenly annoyed by grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me away.

I can see Jay following me with his gaze; I can't help but return it.

"Have you eaten?" I ask him as we walk down the hallway.

He tightens his shoulders. "Yes, don't worry." He says it but doesn't seem convinced.

We are stopped by Heeseung, who seeks my gaze. "Why are you dragging her into the room?"

Riki snorts, approaching me by the wrist. "I'm not dragging her, I'm accompanying her."

"I need to talk to her for a moment." Says the older.

"Try again, you'll have better luck." Riki replies, continuing to walk toward his room with me, but Heeseung grabs him by the shoulder, blocking him abruptly.

"I said I need to talk to her."

I look at him and am stunned, what should we talk about? What else will he have to tell me? It's all part of his strategy, probably.

"I told you not tonight."

Heeseung snorts, incredulous. "What did you have this afternoon? - He ignores him, turning to me - Why were you sick? Do you feel strange?"

Maybe he thinks they are the symptoms of pregnancy, but he would have to be really stupid to believe that since they would never manifest so quickly.

"I'm fine."

"She took the vitamins I gave her, that's why she's fine!" Responds Riki who may not be feeling involved enough in the conversation.

I nod even though it's not true. "Don't worry, you're not serious after all." I tell him.

Heeseung just didn't expect it, he remains silent for several seconds until he hears Riki laughing. "Really? You think that?"

I...I don't know. If you ask me with these hurt eyes, this pitiful look I...I can't.

I stay staring at him this time I wordlessly. Do I really believe that, since I said it out loud? Do I believe Riki more than Heeseung? Maybe so, but then why don't I answer?

"Let's go to sleep."

I lower my gaze. "Ok..." I follow the boy in silence, leaving Heeseung in the middle of the hallway.

My heart hurts, again. He..... looks really sad. Maybe he's pretending, but I'm not, I'm so sad.

ok ATTENTION i have a very unhealthy idea... don't know if you know the sims 4 but there are some very interesting mods of this game that could create funny video material inherent to the story hahahahahha i realize it's so silly but let me know what you think ;) i feed on cringe

do not fear for the fourth shift, because there will be an extra chapter, it will be short promise

NEXT CHAPTER:

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immediately after the events of this chapter:

[diagonal-queen]

chuuya, kunikida, and dazai with an s/o who would hide under the bed for no reason besides its nice down there and would sometimes grab their ankle to scare them

i would love to hang out under my bed tbh but i keep all my stuff under there lol. good deterrent for demons because then they can't fit under there

S/O who hides under the bed

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, Doppo Kunikida, Dazai Osamu x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are these guys with an S/O who likes hanging out under the bed?

♡ cw: Swearing, teensy tiny bit of NSFW in Dazai's part.

note:

Seriously though. Thank you guys for all your sweet comments and messages I really appreciated all of them very much (and yes each one made me cry). I might not say it very much but I love all of you guys and I'm thankful for your support. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Chuuya:

He's just kinda like...wha...? He's so confused at first lol

Even if you grab his ankle and try to scare him, he's just like...why'd you do that babygirl (gender neutral term). He'd also find it kind of adorable how frustrated you get that it didn't work, but what were you expecting? He's a mafia executive babygirl (again, gender neutral term)

Chuuya is little amused by your under-the-bed habit and lowkey thinks it's pretty cute. At first though he was kinda worried as to what caused it, but if it makes you feel better then he doesn't care

If he wants you out of there he will coax you out with your favourite food or something like you're a puppy (he's getting his yearning for a pet dog out of his system don't worry)

Probably wouldn't go under the bed with you super often, but you guys would have a lot of conversations while he's laying on the bed and you're laying under it. It's surprisingly easy to do!

Would start leaving you little gifts/snacks down there sometimes as a surprise

Probably wouldn't encourage you to sleep under there though. Spinal health and all

As always Chuuya is very supportive and all he wants is for you to feel happy and safe <3

Kunikida:

Worried about this habit at first. He assumes that it's some kind of trauma response. Whether it is or it isn't he'll learn to accept it don't worry

That being said he doesn't really love it. If you wanna relax he'd rather that you do it in a more comfortable space. If you're under there because you don't feel great then he'd rather you just talk to him. He'd do (almost) anything to make you feel better :')

If you grabbed his ankle one time to scare him he might never recover. Like he'd be genuinely terrified. Might faint or burst into tears or scream or something idk

Absolutely would chide you for your "childish behaviour". In all honesty he just feels like it's something Dazai would do and he suffers enough from this kind of thing at work

But yes in the end he would forgive you if you apologised to him. Might not be so kind if you continued trying to scare him though

Leaves you a pillow and a blanket down there just in case you get cold. He won't leave any food though because he's worried about ants and mould and stuff

Wouldn't go under there with you though. Sorry but he just doesn't wanna 😪

Honestly? As long as you're getting your shit done, he doesn't mind where you spend your free time

Dazai:

He literally doesn't even question it. Sometimes small spaces are just cosy y'know?

Dazai literally lived in a shipping container (at least I think? I haven't read Stormbringer yet T-T). He'd be all up for hanging out under the bed whether or not you were with him lol

The first time you grab his ankle to scare him, if you're lucky, you'll catch him off guard. But you're never getting his ass again, ever

I mean sometimes he might play along to humour you, but you'll literally never actually scare him again. Like he just walks into your bedroom under the assumption that you're under the bed and prepared to scare him.

Straight up if he can't find you when he wakes up or something he'll just guess that you're under the bed and won't bother you.

That being said if you straight up disappeared or something he'd obviously worry about you. But he gives you space when you need it, and will only come under the bed with you if you say he can

Also he would definitely start doing it to you. Both as revenge and just because he thinks it's funny, but he'll stop if you ask him to (you don't. It straight up becomes a war)

He straight up might try to get it on with you under the bed, as if there's room or something. Damnit Dazai

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fedyushka, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[idyllic-affections]

Hello! I saw your works of what Kaveh and Cyno would be like as parents... That leaves me thinking of Al-haitham as a father. Would him take his child to his grandmother? Would he read them advanced physics books? (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

scholarly lineage.

summary. what would alhaitham be like as a father?

trigger & content warnings. brief hypothetical mentions of assault in general, can be interpreted as s/a, but is not explicitly stated to be that way. sensory overload mentions. spoilers for alhaitham's character stories.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. dad!alhaitham & reader. 0.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. in this fic, alhaitham and the reader are both written as neurodivergent in some way; interpret it however you please!

author's thoughts. OUGDHSJGSJSG wait this is so cute. dad alhaitham..... it is such a cool thought, because with alhaitham, i don't think there's any obvious or "correct" way to write him as a dad. he could be overprotective. he could be very casual, the "cool dad" if you will. also i know i haven't been posting as much recently! it's literally only because i've been hyperfixating on hsr... whoops. /lh

alhaitham as a father is a very interesting concept to me. now, believe it or not, i feel like he is a less strict father than cyno. he's actually relatively laid-back.

alhaitham is the kind of guy who raises his child to be smart. he raises them to play the game, not to be played by it, you know? therefore, he believes in his child's judgement and their ability to make wise decisions. he feels no need to be protective over them.

(however... that does not mean someone could do something harmful to them and get away with it. if anyone does anything to hurt them? abuses them? verbally, physically, or worse? good lord, he does not take well to that. he is a man with power, and by the gods, he'll use it if he has to in their defense.)

if his child has sensory issues, alhaitham is very attentive to those things and will get them any and all needed accommodations. if they struggle with auditory sensory issues where they get easily overwhelmed? they'll have ear pieces that match his. <3

when people point it out, depending on who they are, they will get one of two responses; either him very blatantly admitting that yes, their headset matches his, or him getting a little embarrassed and claiming it was all he had on hand at the moment. liar. /lh

it's kaveh that gets the latter response, of course.

if they ever happen to get annoyed with their father in their moments of overwhelm, he doesn't take it personally at all. sensory overload will do that to a person. he gets it, tbh.

i think alhaitham would definitely want his kid to attend the akademiya. ideally, haravatat, but he supposes he'd be okay if they enrolled in a different darshan. he'll recover...

UNLESS they enroll in kshahrewar. alhaitham would NEVER recover from a betrayal of that magnitude!! however, his grandmother herself was from kshahrewar, so... well. he'd get over it, he guesses. he'd still prefer if they enrolled in haravatat.

whatever darshan they enroll in honestly doesn't matter, though, because if anyone gives them trouble for any reason? all alhaitham has to do is give the problematic person a single look and suddenly the issue is resolved! apparently people think he's scary. not that he minds. he likes it that way; it keeps trouble away from both him and his child.

of course, he won't intervene unless they specifically seek out his help, because he knows his kid can handle themselves. still, he pulls a few strings behind the scenes every now and then. he doesn't really want to see his kid struggle. he knows they're intelligent, and he also knows he doesn't have to worry about them not wanting to work for themselves. therefore, he sees no reason to let them struggle needlessly.

he'd also understand if they weren't too big a fan of being surrounded by so many people. he isn't fond of it, either, so he'd let them stay in his office whenever needed. he'll even invite them to do their classwork in there rather than anywhere else in the akademiya, simply so that they don't have to be around a bunch of random people they couldn't possibly be less interested in.

alhaitham definitely read his kid very difficult books when they were little, which would totally lead to them being ahead of their peers. that really wouldn't be unexpected, i think. they probably enrolled in the akademiya a little early.

you know that "i know you don't know any astronomical pretentious voluminous colossal words" audio? yeah, that was alhaitham's kid when they were small.

also, yes, alhaitham would absolutely take them to his grandmother!! i think she would see their father in them, just like how she saw alhaitham's parents in him. of course, this is before her death.

i think alhaitham would ultimately be content that his child got to meet the woman who raised him.

to think that she saw himself in them...

it brings him an odd sense of pride and comfort.

and as a little treat:

kaveh is kind of like another dad (or like a wine uncle LMAO) for them. do what you will with this information.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[greenbergsays]

Hellooo since you're into buddie now do you know if you'd ever write for them? Love your writing

maybe!

@sora-netto is the one that got me into 9-1-1, I've basically just been talking to her about it on Twitter since I first started the binge and I was just telling her this morning that while a lot of fics touch on you're exhausting from the grocery store divorce argument, I haven't found one yet that really gets into the MEAT of it and I need one that does

I mean, someone with Buck's background being told he's exhausting??? Someone who thrives on praise and needs so badly to feel like he's wanted, being told that by someone as important to them as Eddie is to Buck????

Honestly, Buck forgave him too easily for that, I need Eddie to work for it. I need Buck to be so fucking hurt and guarded and Eddie to not really understand what's going on and then I need those words thrown back in his fucking face so he APOLOGIZES FOR THEM.

I need Eddie to apologize and I need him to be ashamed that he said it in the first place, because HE SHOULD BE

If someone I cared about that much told me I was exhausting, I don't think I'd ever fucking recover from the hurt

...anyways, so yeah, we were talking about that and HT told me I needed to write it and I just might. I have a lot of feelings about it, as you can obviously tell.

[our-trans-youth-experience]

I feel so hopeless.

I don’t think I can wait until im 18 to transition. I dont know if I can even stay alive that long. Hell I cant stand the thought of having this body for 5 more years. My mom recently told me that she wouldn’t bear to look at me anymore if I ever got an abortion or top surgery, which I know is wrong for her to believe, but it still hurts so much. I’m not even out to her yet and she’s still being transphobic towards me and honestly I didn’t think that was possible. I don’t feel like a real transgender because I can’t even decide on a name for myself. I don’t even look like a boy. The only thing I can do is bind. My transmasc friend can pass so much better than me, I feel like he gets misgendered so much less than I do, and I just think he’s so lucky. Is it wrong for me to think that? I don’t know but I’ve lost so much hope. I don’t know anything. And it just feels like no one else really gets it.

I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

I’m sorry for the heavy ask.

-Lib (maybe, still considering other names)

Hey kiddo,

I know it feels hopeless, and I've been there (and still am there sometimes ngl). Your mother doesn't sound like a very good one, if she won't support her child's decisions about what they do with their body. It's your body, so it's completely up to you what to do with it even if that means you lose your mother's support. I'd recommend you avoid coming out to your mother as I don't think it'd be a safe thing for you to do. It's hard, not being "properly" out, but it'll be worth it in the long run.

You are really trans, you aren't faking it. You're trans enough and I believe you. If you still look "like a girl", I believe you and am currently in the same situation. Some of my trans friends change their name every week, some have multiple names at once, it doesn't make them any less trans. You say you can bind, so hang onto that because that is awesome! (That being said please remember to do so as safely as possible even if you have really bad dysphoria)

Please try not to compare yourself to other trans people you know, it doesn't help. However, it isn't wrong for you to be doing that because we all compare ourselves, although we probably shouldn't. Transition is not linear and everyone's transition is different and at a different pace because everyone's situation is different. So if your transition is at a slower pace, that doesn't make you any less trans, your journey just has more turns and is a bit more complicated.

There is hope, and I know it's what everyone says but I promise it's true: it does get better. It's not going to happen overnight, but things will get easier.

You say that noone really understands, but I promise I do. I'm still a kid, with an abusive/unsupportive mother, who has a few years left until I'm an adult and will likely rely on my parents for a while longer. I haven't come out to any of my family and only some of my friends, and I still look as much like a girl as I did when I was 5 years old. I struggled for years and still do, although I think I'm recovering. There's a whole bunch more, but simply put I'm in a very similar situation to you, you're not alone I promise.

It's not hopeless, I love you and I am here for you, and I need you to stay, even though I know how tough it is. Please reach out to me whenever you need to, I would be happy to talk to you as a friend and both my messages and my inbox are always open, although I'll likely reply to messages more quickly and they won't be posted. You are so loved, and I am here for you, stay safe <3

-Sage (he/they) :)