#i honestly am too emotions to care rn

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I wonder what it is about Instagram that intimidates me so much. Especially in regards to posting artwork or utilizing any form of interaction on there. The whole site just feels completely exhausting, overstimulating, and not to mention arduous. More and more, I feel less and less good every time I open that app, which kind of sucks because I feel like it is kind of the most obligatory platform in order to stay connected with most people, especially at an industry level, if that makes sense. It just is so unenjoyable to me. Even though I mostly just follow artists whose work I enjoy and support. Am I alone in feeling like instagram just kind of sucks?

[kimmkitsuragi]

whew haha

[girlboypersonthingy]

Can I request Vi, Jinx and Caitlyn trying to cheer up/apologize to their S/O after a nasty fight? I wonder what they would do to try and make it up to them.

AAAHHHH ANGSTY GIRLS ARE MY WEAKNESS 😩💔 As always, I am so grateful for the request! Also sorry this took so long… ENJOY~

VI 💘

Okay, she def said some mean shit to you. She’s good with her fists, but she has a sharp tongue too. She can destroy someone with her words just as fast as she could with her bare hands.

You’re hurt and upset, probably crying or maybe you’re angry at her. She knows you’re upset at her too…she just doesn’t care rn.

Once she’s gone off on her own to calm down, she’s thinking about what she said to you and the longer Vi thinks about it, replaying the words in her head, the more she feels guilty.

She comes back to find you later with the saddest look on her face. It’s obvious that she feels so guilty she wants to die right now but it doesn’t make the sting of her words any better.

“(Y/N)….I…” She can’t even come up with words that could fix this. She knows she really fucked up.

She’d definitely try to physically comfort you before she would try to offer comforting words. She does not know how to say sorry, it’s lowkey so hard for her. She feels sorry but the words just won’t leave her mouth.

Vi would sit or lay beside you and gently cup your chin in her hand, turning your face so she can look at you.

“Sorry…” She finally spits it out, watching your eyes water.

Then she’d go straight in for a kiss, maybe on the lips, maybe on your forehead. She’ll put her lips wherever you’ll let her rn.

If you accept/return the kiss, now she’s feeling more comfortable with talking. She’ll apologize again then kiss you again then apologize again then kiss you again, maybe slip a little compliment in about how precious you are to her then back to kisses. This goes on for like 5 minutes straight until you’re smiling a bit and your heart feels full again.

If you DONT accept her kisses or apologies, she’ll get so sad. This girl will just watch you with wide eyes, chewing on her lip as she asks “what…can I do?”

Honestly, give her any task you can think of, she will do it so fast with no complaints. Tell her to go jump off a bridge and she’s running there. Tell her to actually give you a proper apology and she will stutter through it and look at you with puppy dog eyes as she tries her best to make you feel like she doesn’t hate you.

If you’re just giving her the silent treatment, she will literally go disappear for like 8 hours. She’ll just give you space and go think about what she did. She’ll spend this time reflecting inward, thinking about what lead up to the outburst, why she felt the way she did, why she let her emotions get the best of her, why she took it out on you of all people.

When she finally comes back, hopefully you’re more ready to listen and respond to her. She’s so grateful when you are.

She will do literally anything for you when you’re upset with her. Even if it’s illegal or dangerous or something she has no idea about, she’ll figure it out and do it for you. Think there’s something she won’t do? Try her.

Once you’ve been consoled and talked to properly, when you’ve finally accepted her apology, she just wants to be close to your. You don’t have to be cuddling, you could just be holding hands or laying down with your head in her lap. She just needs the physical reassurance that you’re still her ✨partner✨

JINX 🦋

Let’s be real…Jinx blows up on you a lot. She just loses it too often and you two are so close, you’re always right in the path of destruction.

She’s not really the type to apologize after every time she blows up on you. If it’s obvious that you’re just butt hurt and irritated with her, she won’t bring up what happened but she will get all clingy and nice all of a sudden. She knows what she did and she’s gonna cheer you up and make you feel loved. She just wants to remind you that she’s unstable but your relationship shouldn’t be. She’s trying.

If she really upsets you, says something that really hits home, she’ll break down crying almost immediately after the words have left her lips. You might not even be crying yet, but Jinx is. She can tell by the look on your face, the way your lips are turned down and your eye brows are lowered, she can tell that you are truly hurt.

When you’re upset like this, she will cry hysterically as she tries to apologize and explain herself. She’ll be sniffling and hiccuping as she furiously wipes her wet eyes. Honestly, when she gets like this you think maybe she’s more upset than you are rn.

When she yells at you like this, it all comes pouring out of her mouth in the heat of the moment. She’s just in a blind rage. But as your face changes, she’s always reminded of her sister. The way her sister would yell at her and call her names. It triggers her and she always ends up sobbing in your lap, begging for your forgiveness, begging for you to stay with her, begging for you to love her still.

If you readily accept her apology and maybe offer her some comfort, she will comfort you back tenfold! She’s playing with your hair, gently scratching your back, offering to rub your feet while she’s still apologizing every so often. She feels like a bad dog who needs punishing and bc you won’t really punish her, she turns to manual labor on you. This is her punishment, pampering you until she’s exhausted.

If you’re not so quick to accept her apology, she gets scared…like actually terrified of you walking out on her right now. She’ll get really quiet, probably not even crying anymore, but she won’t let go of you. She’ll stay flush against you, her arms trapping your torso against her own. She feels like if she just clings to you, you can never leave. She can’t handle you leaving…plz don’t leave her.

As you both sit in silence, she’ll remain still, only moving to tighten her grip or lay her head on your other shoulder. In this moment, nothing else matters to her, no one else matters to her. Sure, she’s probably scared of being alone, but she’s never loved someone as much as she loves you. You are her everything…if she loses you…then she has nothing else to lose. She doesn’t know what she’ll do then.

She’s basically having a silent panic attack as she clings to you, awaiting your response. And she’ll wait forever if she has to.

If you need some space and time to yourself, she will literally just back away a little bit and still stay in the same room. She’s literally terrified…she thinks if she leaves the room she’ll never see you again. But she will stay silent and give you some breathing room.

Once you’re finally ready to talk about it, she’s constantly interrupting you to tell you that this is all her fault and how sorry she is. She isn’t trying to speak over you, she just feels like you shouldn’t be the one doing the talking, she just needs to make sure you know how horrible she feels.

As you talk it out and come to terms with what has happened between you two, she’ll get happy again and start smiling at you. She’s just so overjoyed that you forgave her and are willing to keep trying with her. That’s all she can ask of you…please keep trying. Don’t give up on her.

She’s a good girl at heart and she’s trying her best with what she’s got.

CAITLYN 🤍

It’s actually very rare that you two fight. Caitlyn can be very stubborn and hard headed but she is always willing to compromise for you.

This time tho…she just lost control. She was having a rough week, feeling like she lacked confidence and security in her job, feeling the weight of her parent’s expectations of her and she just snapped at you.

Yeah…it stings but she would never say anything offensive to you. Ever. She might raise her voice at you and call you a pain in her ass but a crude name or insult would never leave her mouth when talking to you.

She probably just told you to shut up and leave her alone bc she’s stressed okay? She can’t handle you rn. She needs to be alone and think in silence.

If you’re upset and decide to leave her be, she’ll spend maybe an hour or two alone before she comes to find you. When she does, she takes your hands in hers and says your name so softly. If you’re not looking at her, she’ll pull her hand away from yours to gently grab your chin and turn your face to her. She pretty much forces eye contact and tenderly whispers an apology.

If you decide not to leave her, maybe you just back away and stay on the other side of the room. She’ll accept your presence as long as you’re quiet…and after the way she said “shut up”, you’re sure to keep quiet.

After maybe 20 minutes, she’s speaking up to apologize…but she’s still in a sour mood. Don’t let her stern apology fool you. You should probably just stay silent.

Soon she’s waving her hand at you as she mumbles “come here…” and you do. You go to her slowly, noticing how she’s watching you. Once you’re within arms length of her, she’s reaching for your hands and trying to look into your sad eyes. She’ll shyly apologize as her thumbs rub over your hands.

If you don’t accept her apology so quickly, she’s very mature about it. She’ll tell you that she accepts your response and then she’ll say how sorry she is again before leaving you to think about it more. She’ll give you space for as long as you need it. She’ll busy herself with other things while still thinking of what she can say to make you understand how sorry she is. She’ll take this time apart to really think about how much you mean to her and how she can better herself and your relationship.

If you immediately accept her apology, she’ll pull you into a tight hug and gently kiss your cheek before explaining herself to you. Caitlyn feels like she has to explain where she’s coming from and why she snapped like that. She needs you to know that she’s not upset with you and she shouldn’t have taken her anger out on you. She doesn’t want you thinking she’s mad at you when she’s actually mad at everything but you.

Whenever you decide to accept her apology, she wants to have a whole conversation about it immediately. Like I said, Caitlyn is very mature, very polite and caring. She wants to talk this out like a couple in love should. She wants to dive deep into your partnership and make sure you’re feeling okay.

She just cares about you so much. She never means to snap at you…she’s just under a lot of pressure. So when it does happen, she can’t just sweep it under the rug. She must be sure that you still love her and that you know she still loves you. Plz tell her you still love her.

[leondickrider]

fluff alphabet ౨ৎ leon s kennedy x gn!reader

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 || working on sm leon fanfics at once ! i made this in like 20 minutes so it prolly sucks but idc!! nsfw alphabet coming soon :3

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 || fluff (obvi), not proofread or read by betas

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 || deinking mentioned, none

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 || leon s kennedy mlist 🎀 @starzu

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

leon really loves just kicking back and relaxing with his s/o. after soo many life-threatening missions, he just wants to kick back on the sofa with his s/o in his arms and binge watch some tv. however, he also really loves taking they all the places they want to visit, whether it's a concert or a museum

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

everything, literally finds every inch of his s/o perfect and beautiful. but, he really loves their hands, especially if they are soft and smaller because it's the opposite of his hands that are rough from so much fighting and training. also finds their eyes beautiful, will literally hold contact for hours if he could

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

refer back to re4r how leon comforted ashley. he's really good at comforting you and will do anything to help cheer you up. 2 am emotional binge sesh? he's driving to the shoppe and buying you ice cream and frost and drizzle or syrup and sprinkles and brownie bits and cookies and and potato chips and and cheeseburgers and fries and tater tots and cheese and everything (i'm on a rlly strict diet so this is deadass just me listing foods i want rn) 5 pm cry sesh? he already has the tissues, blankets, stuffies and tear-jerking movies ready

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

in 1998, leon would dream about having a totally normal relationship with you. big suburban house, a couple kids. but after the raccoon city, he kind of changed his dreams. he still craves the normal, domestic life, but now he kinda envisions it as just you and him. not that he doesn't want kids, he just doesn't want them to be in such a dangerous world

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

i think he'd be more dominant in relationships when it comes to most things. not dominant in a weird, controlling way. but he would want his s/o to come to him before making any big decisions simply bc he probably brings home the bacon with his government paycheck. but other than financially, he's pretty passive, he really doesn't care what you do as long as you don't do like porn or like cheat

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

depends honestly; most fights he will forgive you, but sometimes he really holds it against you and just shuts you out for a while before resuming as if nothing happened. however, when he snaps and lets words he doesn't mean to get out, he will apologize so much. even if you forgive him, he doesn't believe it and will buy you everything

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

very grateful! in 1998-2013 and after vendetta specifically. he realizes that you help keep him happy pretty fast. if you're in raccoon city with him then he probably felt a lot better and more confident. (def not bc he wanted to show off in front of his partner!!) in 2004 he is soo grateful you were willing to stay with him even with the job he ended up with and with all the training he had to get. in vendetta i think that's when he might seem ungrateful cuz of his drinking.... but yeah after all that he's back to normal

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

a lot of secrets :(

mainly about work though, cuz unless you're an agent he literally cannot legally get into the details with you. he keeps secrets abt his drinking too, like you know he drinks but you don't know how much he drinks.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

yes! he became more confident in himself because like being in a relationship makes him feel like somebody wants him, so he gains sm self confidence and actually wants to be stronger so he can return home from missions !

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

i think he gets jealous pretty easily. he will get a bit jealous if a person look at you twice, or somebody flirts. but part of him thinks you deserve somebody better so he doesn't ever tell you about his jealousy, you gotta hring it up first

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

a very good kisser!! every single kiss is filled w sm love and affection and passion <3 mainly bc he doesn't really know when it will be the last kiss :(

first kiss was really special even though it was spontaneous. it was in the late hours of the night, the whole apartment dark except for the tv light. and you were slow dancing to some random song when suddenly the mood felt right and he kisses you MANSBSHH (this is based on my first kiss with my ex ....)

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

he doesn't really confess first, he drops subtle hints that he has feelings for you and just gopes you catch onto his words

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

yes, going back to dream. he thinks about marriage all the time, he likes the idea of having a cute lil spouse to come home too after grueling missions

he proposes totally out of nowhere. he originally had a plan, he was going to take you on a romantic vacation before proposing to you while there. but he chickened out last second, so after several other attempts (that he backed out of last minute) he finally had enough. and then one morning he got down on one knee after buying you a ton of donuts

marriage is really good. he's such husband material. overprotective but not too overprotective. possessive but not too possessive. you know what i'm saying?

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

sticks to the classics most of the time: babe, baby, love, sweetheart, etc etc. lots of italian pet names

however when he's sweet he really branches out: sweet girl/boy, lovie, lovebug, cuddlebug, pretty

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

oh my gosh, this man is so lovey-dovey. literally heart eyes for you. but he forces himself to stay serious even thought other people easily know he's all your's. he doesn't talk much when it's just you and him, preferring to just sit silently across from you and listen to you. and that's what makes it obvious to others since normally he doesn't pay attention and always says his dad jokes or says something stupid

he expresses his feelings by like... yeah.... not being annoying i guess

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

hmm, he doesn't really like pda due to his job. he knows he has enemies who are after him, but most don't really know about you since they don't really look into that. however, when he's off work, he'll take you into cities and his hand in always on you, whether he's holding your hand, or his hand is planted on your hip/waist. just makes him feel better

he brags about you to all of his friends. chris hears about it nonstop while leon is drunk (and he sobs after bc the redfield bloodline.) "sure that looks nice on them but you know who would look better in it? my s/o." "oh, my s/o has that same necklace, i bought it for them in paris." (😭)

he doesn't really care after the missions. esp if he got close to death, he is all over you the second he sees you. he doesn't care who is watching or who sees, he is literally holding you as if you were dying

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

he knows whenever you are upset. doesn't even need to hear you speak. literally can just tell from your footsteps or your posture

also, he's really quiet so when you are having your moments he's able to sneak around withhout setting you off (please i get so annoyed when people are loud when i'm mad)

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

yes

he will do everything to make his s/o happy

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

it really depends on your goals. if your goal is to become famous on onlyfans (aimed) then he probably wouldn't really help cuz well why would he?

he believes in you to an extent, he's brutally honest sometimes so... yeah... if you're dumb he will tell you that you're dumb (in a nice way) but he tries his best to support you 💀

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

there's no such thing as routine with this man other than his exercise routine 

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you better than you do. this man literally buys whatever you're craving like a week before you even ask fo it. he knows exactly what album or movie or video game you're going to beg him to buy so he already got you it

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

literally his top pirority. it goes you, his friends, him. he always puts you ahead of himself in everything and values your life sm more than his own :(

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

everytime he returns from his missions, he always comes home with your favorite snack and an expensive bouquet of your favorite flowers (if you get the expensive bouquet reference jtm)

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

yes, he is so touch starved and can cuddle all day if you let him. he kisses you a lot as well

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he always carries a little polaroid of you snd him cuddles together on the sofa (taken before 1998 for draamtic effect) and just looks at it for a little bit

he also bought a small bottle of your fav purfume/fragrance and always takes it with him on missions, aweet boy :)

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

this man would literally take a bullet for you !! A BULLET !!

reblogs appreciated always ♡

i'm making a ghost ver of this as well since i love him sm !! :))

[snail-sir]

I powered through two finals today I am treating myself to brainrot

There has been so much magister content lately and it is honestly fueling me. It's all so fun!! SO :D Meet my magisters!!! :DD my sillies!!! Disclaimer a LOT of rambling lmao

my sillies <33

Starting with Avaeryn! He's not the actual Magister Merlin, just a stand-in for now, because he's actually just another OC I decided to throw into this world, and it just devolved from there lmao. BUT this does play into my lore for Esperia Avaeryn 👀 because since I just threw him here, he's not supposed to exist in this world. Soooooo his soul is the only thing actually existing in this world that is Him. His soul, for some reason, decided to reside in the body of the actual Magister Merlin, Osiria, and accidentally booted out a chunk of her soul from her own body💀 this explains the amnesia for those two, bc Avaeryn literally Does Not Go Here and chunks of Osiris's memory got separated between body and soul. Don't ask me the science behind that bc I also don't know. Most of the magic Vaer knows is just Osiria's muscle memory or whatever little is left in that body.

Onto Osiria! She is the actual Merlin OC I made for this game, and therefore the Merlin people are usually referring to. She doesn't have the entirety of her memory anymore ofc since a chunk of her soul got booted out, so that chunk just follows her body around now lmao. She's just a non-corporeal being for the time being who can't really interact with stuff. However, I do think if one's magic is strong enough they can sense her, and maybe eventually see her, though Avaeryn's the only one who can do that rn. She doesn't know how to get back to her body and ofc Vaer doesn't know how to Not Be Here. Osiria still feels connected to her body in some way and can feel whatever goes on in there, as in emotions and injuries, and maybe in dire situations can retake control for precious moments. I hc that as a Merlin she's essentially immortal, although definitely not invincible. Like, her consciousness/soul can live forever and move onto a new body if she can't save her old body, but her bodies can live however long it can manage. But, since only a portion of Osiris's soul got kicked out of her body, her soul can't really find another body bc then there'll be two of her. Which is probably not good.

Personality wise these two are complete opposites.

Vaer is a very reserved and introverted person. He is the textbook definition of anti-social. He does not like being bothered. At All. So the fact that he is now this renowned mage that legit everyone knows and looks up to.. not liking that too much lmao. People are too friendly with him and he doesn't know how or want to handle that. He's also a very blunt and monotonous person, and on top of the fact he looks like he's gonna murder you 24/7, everything he says comes off as either sarcastic or rude. Osiria is giving it her soul's ALL to keep this guy from being like "why are you here. Leave me alone" to everyone he sees. They have the Merlin's reputation to uphold of course, and Vaer is making it SO hard for her. Like, Avaeryn's a good person. He's not gonna sit there and watch someone get mauled, and he's not gonna be intentionally rude or malicious or no reason. He's not even that easily annoyed, he just sounds like he constantly is lmao. (he Will throw hands if needed but he's smart enough to not. usually). He's quiet too but that also does not help with much at all. Monotonous and you can barely hear him. Which is driving Osiria insane. I literally made this guy so I can put him in games and pick rude dialogue without feeling that guilty LMAO

Osiria on the other hand is THE friend you wanna make. Very sweet, soft-spoken, and so So very caring. Wants to go out of her way to help anyone she comes across, and absolutely adores everyone around her. Perfect mother/big sister figure anyone would want. She nags Avaeryn a little too much for his liking bc if this lmao. She wants him to go help anyone and everyone, while all he wants to do is just be left alone. Which is never gonna happen. Though, she is a bit tooooo kind in the sense that she thinks everyone deserves to be helped, and will put her all into it. This can lead to her kindness being taken advantage of quite often, but good thing Vaer's rational enough to keep things balanced. The thing is, she's not stupid- she's aware that there's people taking advantage of her sweetness, but she just wants to help anyway. "It's best to help anyway because what's the point of leaving them stranded?" Avaeryn just thinks that they shouldn't inconvenience themselves if people can handle their own problems fine enough. People also don't like being called out by him (rightfully) lmao. Osiria thinks that's too mean though.

Relationship wise, they respect each other. Avaeryn stresses out Osiria a bit too much but overall, she understands that he usually means well, even though it often doesn't feel that way lmao. also that he's very much not a people person, so she doesn't make him go out strolling to find people to help just bc she feels like it. Wishes he doesn't scare her hamsters too much though. Vaer respects Osiria a lot as a person and as a magister. He understands that she's an important figure and therefore isn't as rude when she's around, especially since she's way too nice. He'll feel bad. Complies with her wishes more often than he would for other people bc he did technically overtake her body, and it's not like there's much else he can do lol. Overall they give more of a brother/sister relationship than anything else, and balance each other out quite well

Memes lmao

Tldr: I isekai-ed an oc who is now the supposed magister, and part of the soul of the actual Merlin now follows him around bc his soul booted hers out of her own body 💀 magister stand-in hates people which makes everything so much harder than it needs to be

[fairycosmos]

i had to quit today cause it was taking a severe toll on my mental health like panic attacks almost every day and barely any energy left to function like a proper human being and now i feel like the most vile disgusting pathetic and worthless piece of shit and i'm back on square one once again how is this my fucking life...

agh i hear you, and i get why you feel this way. but honestly quitting something that was hurting you so badly doesn’t make you weak or a failure, it means you listened to yourself and made a decision to protect your mental health. and that’s not easy. it’s one of the hardest things to do, especially in a world that tells us over and over that our worth is tied to our productivity. but that’s a lie. your value as a person has nothing to do with whether or not you can hold down a job, how much you’re getting done, or where you are in life compared to where you thought you’d be.

right now, your brain is probably feeding you all kinds of negative thoughts, but that doesn’t mean they’re true. when those thoughts come up, this is what i ask myself despite it all: would i ever say this to a friend? if not, why am i saying it to myself? your brain is in survival mode right now, and survival mode doesn’t always tell the trutth tbh. thats a hard lesson im still learning. it just tries to make sense of the pain in whatever way it can, even if that means blaming you for something that isn’t your fault.

coping with this feeling is hard, but small things can help. remind yourself that emotions aren’t facts. if you’re feeling worthless, that doesn’t mean you are worthless. if you can, talk to someone who cares about you, even if it’s just to vent. try to engage with things that make you feel like a person again—watch something comforting, go outside for fresh air, do something small and nice for yourself even if it feels undeserved. and if nothing feels good right now, that’s okay too. just existing is enough.

starting over is scary, but you are not back at square one. you are moving forward with the knowledge that this job wasn’t right for you, and that knowledge is something you didn’t have before. you are still learning, still growing, still figuring things out. you don’t have to have all the answers right now. just be kind to yourself. you are doing the best you can, and that is enough. i know words feel so empty rn but i seriously hope after a few days and the after you've had the mental space to proces, you can cut yourself some slack and just breathe <3 the future is wide open and that is a crazy feeling i know but it is not inherently a bad thing. sending so much love ur way x

[fictionkinfessions]

CRYING????????? /vpos

My mom knows that I'm fictionkin, and I open up to her a lot about my experiences (usually just the happy/funny/mildly annoying ones) but I asked her a silly funny question and.

She responded with a whole heartfelt paragraph

Question: "Mama,, How do you feel knowing that you're the mom of the Real Charlie Morningstar™"

Response: "Ummm... Scared? 🤣😂🤣 No, not really. Honestly?

Proud. Happy. Elated. Lucky. Honored. Privileged. Filled with joy and happiness and love.

You're my baby. I'm your mom. I don't care who or what you are, I love you. I love YOU. Names and genders and other labels and boxes don't matter. I am incredible grateful to be your mom! No matter who we are, where we are, what we are, who we're with or what we're doing.... I will soars be proud and grateful and honored to be your mom. 🥰"

Sorry if this is a little too related to the current life, I'm just a little emotional over this rn because wow. I love my mom.

- Charlie Morningstar [#starboy]

(Delete if not allowed! <3)

2

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I initially wanted my take to be accompanied by a funny haha drawing, but I am too busy rn and the brainrot is too strong.

For a long time I tried to understand WHAT makes your version of Belos far scarier than he is in the show. It was so weird but it added to the angsty atmosphere perfectly, making the situation seem more hopeless.

But! Now I have a theory. (Little disclamer: I describe the reasoning through purely subjective lenses and how I came to understand the character from the original show.)

Your Belos is far scarier because he hadn't lost anything. Caleb is right there! Alive and "well". There is no buttons to push to trigger any emotional human response. Your Belos has no tragedy that would be painful enough to make him in any way irrational.

Even the grimwalkers are created with cold calculated reason in mind. They are not the irrational impulse to get his dead brother back. Philip just can't have any possible attachement to the blond boys. He doesn't see them as the extension of Caleb and therefore cant care less if they betray him or not. Pure manipulation of the tool.

Philip wasn't alone for 4 hundred years. He had the "fellow human" by his side the whole time. And that human is also the reason for the whole ordeal. So your Philip would care less about other humans, because he doesnt have this longing for the connection. Cross him? Bam! No mercy, even if you are human.

The same goes with his relation to the human realm. Your Belos wouldnt give a shit that the world has changed. Caleb is with him and that would is enough. Again, no buttons to push!

My mind is a mess, but I hope my points are understantable.

You think my boy is scarier than canon?

[IMAGE ID: Belos looking smug, saying, "You flatter me..." /End ID]

Ah! Meta discussion in my inbox! I LOVE getting to see how people react to the stuff I make and why. It's half the fun, honestly :) Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

For my own part, I would say the tragedy that makes him irrational is his prejudiced upbringing and his stubborn adherance to it no matter what. He was taught to never question or reconsider. The beliefs he absorbed are always, always right, and those who disagree are always wrong or misled or evil.

Even when it's a fellow human. Even when it's Caleb.

What compels me about writing my version of Belos is that he's a version of the character who wants to have his cake and eat it too. Caleb is alive. Caleb is "bewitched." In his beliefs, it would be kinder to kill him. To save his soul. To return him to God.

He doesn't. Perhaps he's more hopeful than he is in canon. Perhaps he's more selfish. Perhaps he just got lucky in a fight that was never intended to end in Caleb's death.

Either way, this is a version of Belos who refuses to take the quick and "merciful" way out. He wants to adhere to his beliefs and keep his brother at the same time, even when it means that Caleb must suffer.

[mellarked-katnisseverdeen]

THG Reread Thoughts...I don't know how many I am up too. Sorry XD.

Katniss and both her alliances reresent some kind of rebellion, tbh. Both of them are representing her chooseing love and compassion over obeying the Capitol.

Katniss is SMART. SO much smarter than I remember giving her credit for. She isn't uber, mastermind genius because she is still in actual fact 16. But she was able to form a plan to get a legit leg up on the Careers useing all of her and Rues skills and it works as best it can. And I don't even think ALL of that is how much she is forced to survive. I think Katniss is genuinely a sharp girl.

Mentioned it in the Rue focused post...just the way her death hit me true tears came to my eyes. The unfairness and pain Katniss expereinces took my breath away as an adult whose, this time reading it, has expereince so much more loss.

So the rule change...is interesting. I will always maintain Crane WAS a bit short sighted sanctioning it. Had he thought about the possibility of them actually both living and what that would mean I legit don't think he would have. Whitch speaks to the ambition that festers in the Capitol...they wanted a better show, a love story. To bad that became hope and a rallying cry.

Katniss calling out Peeta's name is such an iconic scene. It shows just how much she has him on her brain the first thing she does is call to him.

Forgot how real Collins got with their injuries. Peeta's leg is something you can't avoid for even a sentence. Katniss's hearing is a constant issue and showing even in a realisic way (as someone who considers herself hard of hearing, this is actually refreshing to see).

Lets talk everlark. I think I will start by saying how early Katniss expression confusion caused by the act they had to preform took me back. We see so much more of that, the constant unsure and confused mess around her emotions, but it does start almost as soon as the act does. Katniss begins to wonder what she is doing because there is something connecting Peeta and her, and what she is doing for the act very early on and importantly, it only gets worse. Lying does this kids, even with the best intentions. And it makes it hurt when you get glimpes of how much Katniss DOES love and care for him.

Katniss instantly suspecting there is some truth to Peetas story about his crush makes me give her sus eyes so hard XD. Like girl you seem very eagar for him to not be totally playing to the camara rn XD.

There moment hunting is SO sweet honestly. And one of the more real moments they got and I love it.

The feast and the medicine scenes shocked with how much they scared me rereading them this time around. For a moment I forgot Thresh spares Katniss, and was genuinely worried for her. Points to Collins for her writing being with rereading in mind! Her storytelling is exciting enough to be captivating upon rereads whitch is AWESOME and not always the case.

Peeta nurseing both him and Katniss back after she's been helping him. Get you a man who will do it like him.

Katniss and her reaction to their first 'real' kiss forgetting she landing a smooch onto his cheek. Yes it was a snarky thing then but still XD. Reguardless it is SO sweet.

'The first time I want another' about this kiss also has been the subject of a lot of back and forth. Reading it now, it is pretty clear to me that yea...Katniss is meant to be expereince SOME kind of desire here. If for nothing else, more closeness.

[anxious-witch]

So, once I actually had a moment to think and the sheer excitment of yesterday died down, I gotta say I love that Bojan seems to have decided to give the rest of the band more appreciation during this tour.

The rest is under the cut bc this will be long.

Like, we saw that Jure had a solo and all the lights focused on him(which was so fucking cool I really think Jure needs more appreciation), we got Kris singing part of NGVOT, and the way Bojan included Jan and to an extent Nace more(I suspect Nace will either get more inclusion soon too or he specifically request Bojan not to focus on him).

I think it's probably a combination of him wanting his friends to be more appreciated, and partially to kind off, take the spotlight off hinself for a bit? Which is very sweet and I love that.

And yes, of course I am happy Jere joined them on tour, but I love that both him and Bojan said "yes, we know our friendship is a big part what made us to popular, but we also work and care about other people. Respect that" and honestly, I do. I respect that so much

Anyway, if you got this far, thank you for coming to my ted talk, I think the emotions are hitting me hard rn

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks 1/25

facilities anon (new), not faking anon (new), experiences anon (new), midnights anon, idiots anon (new), teen angst anon (new), social cues anon (new)

Facilities Anon

Here's the beginning of your ask so you know it's you!

So I’m a queer minor in the south…and the odds aren’t really in my favor rn.

Hi! I just wanted to give my two cents since I've been to one of these places before. My advice would be to look up information on available places. Find out if they take insurance, if they are queer-friendly, look up how past patients felt about them, etc. Since you're doing this voluntarily, you have the chance to be pickier, you know?

Wishing you all the luck <3

________________

Not Faking Anon

i've identified as trans for over a year but i still feel like i'm faking it or whatever. i don't know why, i feel so happy whenever people use my preferred name and pronouns, and feel sick to my stomach sometimes when misgendered. i just can't stop thinking that this is a phase even though i know it's likely not, but also know that it's fine if it is actually a phase.

anyways, sorry for the little rant. i hope you're okay and taking care of yourself <3

I mean especially now, with trans rights being such a political issue, I feel like it's natural that imposter syndrome would be a thing. Do you have any friends who are also trans? Maybe you could talk to them to see if they're feeling similarly? If it helps, I've definitely had moments of like...'what if I'm faking it to MYSELF?' about not just my gender but like....most of the things I struggle with so I don't think you're alone at all.

_____________________

Experiences Anon

Here's the beginning of your ask so you know it's you!

I can’t tell if I’m being dramatic about my experiences, but I feel like I constantly am

Struggling and needing help isn't dramatic. I think some people are given so much shit about like...taking up space...that when they end up breaking down and NEEDING to take up space, they feel awful and dramatic about it. But it's not dramatic to struggle. You deserve help and love and to be happy <3

_________________

Midnights Anon

Hi! Midnights anon again

Sorry for all the asks! If it gets too much I get it if you stop answering.

I’ve been trying to get better with my mental health and it’s been really hard. Usually when it gets hard I quit and just go back to bad habits, but I think I’m ready to move on.

I feel like I’m honestly going crazy. My heads all fuzzy, my intrusive thoughts are worse and more frequent, I feel bad and numb when I go home, and my dad’s comment about my food just pushed me over the edge and now I can’t really bring myself to eat anymore?

I really just want to cry and be held, but my parents are bad at comfort and I either don’t have the time to cry or I’m too scared to ask my friends for help. They’re the first friends who either haven’t bullied me or abused me and I don’t want to cry in front of them again (it happened once and I feel so embarrassed and guilty)

Uhm… yeah? Typing/writing things down usually helps me process my emotions better. I think I’m gonna start journaling again :)

Thank you! And keep safe and take care of yourself, especially ’cause of the elections.

Goodbyeeee :)

Hi <3 I just want to remind you that you deserve comfort and love. And it sounds like your friends might be willing to give you some comfort. It's okay to ask for reassurance, especially from people who seem to really care. You could start small- maybe just ask for a hug?

Journaling is a great idea! I know writing helps me :)

Sending love <3

_______________________

Idiots Anon

hey Cas I hope you’re doing well and im really sorry to bother bit I could use some advice and perspective , ig.

so there is this girl im really good friend with and she’s one of my best friends but i really hate her guy friends and have a hard time hiding it.

one of them keep hurting her and making her sad but she keeps forgiving him. Last time they and another two ppl were doing a group project (whose grade is going in a finals is pretty important) and in his personal part he just put all of theirs into chat gpt and had it spit out amt he just blindly copy. It had sentences word for word for hers in away that it was clear it wasn’t a mistake and was going to be trouble. It made my friend especially sad because she would have helped him so much she would pretty much write it for him if he only asked and he went and stole her work behind her back . It took him 3.5 weeks to somewhat apologize and she forgave him much before. She cried to me about it so much and it broke my heart and i can not look at their friendship at a positive light. And he’s lokey homophobic to a degree they have known each other for 5 years and she still hasn’t come out to him as bi and I honestly can’t blame her. Shouldn’t one of your best friends be someone you can trust to share these type of thing with? She told me after around 7 months into being friends (but maybe it was bc she thought i was also queer though there were rumors i was homophobic even though im queer but lets not get into that )

the other one was accused multiple times of sexual harassment and online bullying a girl in away that he moved to our class bc ig no one wanted to be friends with a guy like that. My friend claimed the rumors were fake and people were just bored and she talked to the person who made them up and they said it but it came from multiple sources ive heared.

I know rumors are a dangerous thing to trust but i can not bring myself to completely trust that its a lie and ‘befriending’ him.

I am not subtle about my dislike of them. I am not a very subtle person in general unless i specifically try. I will admit i can be mean to them even though ‘they haven’t anything to me personally ‘

yesterday we had a big thing in the hall and we were sitting some of my friends, me, her, then these boys. I ubsent mindedly kinda said like “hey x can you ask your idiots to move a sit so there is a chair for y?” they got kinda mad and didn’t move and I honestly don’t blame them ngl.

(gonna talk about the first guy I mentioned mostly feom here)

she texted me this morning starting with “we need to talk” and saying how i really hurt him and he is sad not knowing what he even did to me to deserve me being mean to him like that.

I don’t think im a mean person but i know i kinda am to him and i am going to try and stop for her sake. she even told me how she is stressing a bit about her b day party bc she doesn’t want us to fight and ruin it for he which i would neverrrr do and i told her so.

She said how she dislike some of my friends too but is nice to them still but i am not friends with people who repeatedly hurt me so much.

i am pretty protective and it makes me sad. She is such a good person who gives infinite chances to almost everybody. She is the kind to be able to get along with every single person no matter how different them or their values are which is honestly admirable but is not really something I can do like her.

i apologized to her and i will apologize to her friends and I really feel like shit but i dont even know what to do evenn mentally for that.

I would really appreciate some advice

hope you have a nice day <3

Hi! Okay so...hmmm..I'm feeling iffy about this one. I think that you definitely do not have to be friends with these guys, or even overly nice to them. They sound like bad news, and I completely understand why you don't like them. I would stay away too!

I think you need to make it clear to her WHY you are so concerned. It's not just that these boys are annoying, they're homophobic and they have accusations of harassment. Once you explain, if she still wants to be friends, then I think the best thing to do would be to try to avoid them when you can. When you can't, you don't have to be nice, just, you know, be to the point. No kindness but no cruelty either. One-word answers and such. And you can explain that to your friend- you can't be friends with these boys, but you won't be outright mean.

I think the only exception is your friend's birthday. I think there's certain things- weddings, birthdays, etc- where you have to be...extra nice for the sake of the person you're celebrating. So if your friend invites these boys, you have to decide if you can be nice to them for a day or not. You are well within your rights to say that you can't do that. There are certain people I just can't stand to be around, and that's okay. But then you would have to stay home. If you go, I think you need to kind of fake it for the day, because ruining someone else's day would be wrong...unless the boys say or do something first, and you're defending yourself.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, it sounds so frustrating.

___________________________

Teen Angst Anon

hi! I’ve never sent an ask before, but this felt like the appropriate level of *teen angst crisis mode* for an ask. 😁

I’m a freshman, and I specifically chose a (private) high school that was a lot less academically intense than my middle school, because my middle school experience was truly terrible, and I was super depressed leaving eighth grade, and just wanted to have the chance to experience the remainder of my childhood without three essays due every other day.

But, because of that, every time I feel overwhelmed my intrusive thoughts kind of go “this shouldn’t be overwhelming, you’ve dealt with much harder stuff”. And like, logically I know that’s not true at all, but it’s still there.

And, specifically today, I had a really overwhelming day, and literally every single one of my teachers snapped at me for no reason, and I got triggered (I have a lot of academic trauma) several times. And then, I had two hours of rehearsal after school (I auditioned for the play under the assumption I would be cast as ensemble,(my theater teacher DOES NOT GIVE FRESHMEN LEADS) but I was cast as a lead, because the universe hates me.)

and then, in rehearsal we were doing a bunch of super emotionally charged scenes, so by the end of rehearsal I was just SO DONE. So, I layed on the floor for a minute, except lying on the floor turned into sobbing on the floor, and just a full blown panic attack. But it was ok, because two of my friends (ish) in my grade were there, and they talked to me for the entire forty minutes I layed on the floor and sobbed, and I told them all about my ✨really great life choices✨.

AND THEN I actually checked my phone and my mom had tried to call me like seven times. Because, apparently, I had tutoring, but I forgot. So I was like “I have 25 min, I can get home it’ll be fine” but then it really wasn’t, but I got to the second train station (the connection, if you will), and there was a train in two minutes! But I was texting someone, and I MISSED IT. And the next one was in 12 WHOLE ENTIRE MINUTES!! So, I texted my tutor and was like “heyyy funny story” and, because she has known me for a long time, she was like “take some deep breaths it’s going to be ok”. BUT IT WASNT OK.

because at this point, I’d burst into tears. So, I’m ugly crying on this train platform, in front of a bunch of random people (like, SOBBING). And, I decide to call my mom, as one does, but she doesn’t pick up. So I call her again. Doesn’t answer. I CALLED HER 12 TIMES. So, I call my godmother. She doesn’t pick up. So, I call my BFF. He doesn’t pick up, so I curse him out in the voicemail I leave, traumatizing some of the nearby random people. I call my other best friend. She doesn’t respond either. In a last ditch effort, I call my dad. Who doesn’t respond. (Rude.) so, at this point I’ve decided non of my relatives love me. Then I realize I completely forgot to call my aunt. So, I call her AND SHE RESPONDS BECUASE SHE ACTUALLY LOVES ME. So, I talk to her about my day, on the train at this point, still crying.

I look over, and make eye contact with SOMEONE WHO WENT TO MY MIDDLE SCHOOL. Who’s 100% noticed me at this point, and is like looking at me weird (I look nothing like I did in middle school).

anyway. My seventh post on tumblr (ever) got just under 3000 notes, and I can’t handle that rn. Sorry this was so long, I hope you were at least marginally entertained by my chaotic story telling 😬

Hi <3

I think you definitely have a right to feel overwhelmed- I felt overwhelmed reading about all the things going on in your life! But I think you're also putting a LOT of pressure on yourself. I want to remind you that it sounds like you're doing the best you can, and you're doing really well. Please be gentle with yourself <3 I believe in you.

________________________

Social Cues Anon

Heyyy I am sorry I just don't know anything and suck at emotions and social clues and everything.

So I met some friends, and they brought a few other friends I don't really know. We introduced ourselves, there was one guy who looked cute and had a little femboy vibes. I thought he was cool and we talked, it was just two friend groups chatting nothing more.

Then we decided to go home and exited the cafe, me, as always, went to open the door bc I love to do that to my friends. Act of service is how I show I accept/like people. So I went and opened the door,

person A(a very buff guy) and the cute guy were the first ones to exit, there was just two guys left exiting so I jokingly said ladies first, because i say it to all my guy friends I meant it as teasing/ gender neutral, like how you say girl! Or bro- you know?

Turns out the cute guy was trans and I accidentally said lady to him and he got sad because tbh he didn't pass. But I didn't realize he didn't pass till he got sad, like he said my name is *insert very masculine name* so I just thought about him as a guy I didn't even realize or consider he could be trans- (tbh I think I am blind) anyway.

Then I felt guilty because no he was just a cute guy in my eyes I didn't see him as a girl I wasn't aware- I couldn't apologize because I was confused and didn't understand what I did wrong, then we separated and I couldn't speak much bc I can't speak much and I tried to but before I could we went to our houses

But since we just met that day he didn't like me- which is kinda sad because he was handsome and nice and I wanted to talk to him more, like maybe ask him to hangout, I really would appreciate being friends with him, he is so sweet and he was easy to talk to. I can't talk people normally. And he was so considerate and cute also he helped me to talk with others.

I wanted to apologize but I didn't know his number so I asked his friend which is also my friend but she said she shouldn't give his number since he might not want to talk to me which I understand, and said okay. Then I wanted to explain myself in person, we were in the same university but different faculties. I saw him in the training room and he saw me but I got nervous because how you talk to him like he was so nice I bet he will understand but I just couldn't talk to him got stressed and just acted like I didn't see him and went to my class but I guess he thinks I avoid him and I am homophobic or something but I am not he is just nice to be around and I got too nervous and I don't know how to talk. Now he thinks I am avoiding him bc he is lgbt but I am not I am literally Omnisexual but I can't tell this to himmmm he just looks like a Greek god and I just got too nervous around him I just recently managed to talk people at all I didn't exit home in years so you can guess how bad I am at talking to people. I am kinda antisocial and when we first met he started the Convo and I mostly listened and nod but it was easy but now it's not! I can't write to him because I can't find his damn phone number and I thought about leaving a letter but we don't have lockers or anything like that so I don't know what to do.

I just wanted to talk- and I don't know why, normally I hate new people and avoid them at all costs, but I didn't want him to view me as a bad person. Normally I don't care about how people view me but he just makes me worried and I don't know what's happening. I guess it's just meeting a nice guy made me nervous but I dunno. I don't want him to hate me Cass please help

Hi!

Okay so, I totally understand putting your foot in your mouth like that, I've found myself in similar situations before.

I think the thing is, if you see this boy again, you kind of just need to suck it up and apologize. I know it's awkward and scary, but there's no real easy way to fix it other than apologizing. But I also want to say- he might not be willing to accept your apology or trust you, and you have to be willing to accept that. With the way people view trans people right now...it's kind of hard, you know? It's not his job to make you feel better.

Whether or not you're able to apologize, I think this is a good learning moment. You're not a bad person, and it sounds like you care a lot about everyone in the community, so don't beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes! Just keep it in mind for the future.

(I do want to add though that commenting on someone being able to pass or not is not the best...'passing' is a concept that trans people have many differing feelings about so saying that someone passes or doesn't...like it's better to keep those thoughts to yourself, ig)

Sending you love, be gentle with yourself <3

[dialalagirl]

As you wish pookie <3

Let's start with how I perceive you. You're fun, really fun to talk to and you feel warm. Despite my nervous and sometimes distant nature, your attitude and general behavior helped me speak my mind without worrying too much. Your blog never fails to bring a smile to my face and i look forward to seeing your posts which doesn't happen often for a long time, because I'm easily distracted and bored. You've somehow managed to keep me fixated on your blog lol, congrats. Besides all this, you having cancer in both sun and moon makes me think that you'd be amazing with empathy and could easily read people without much effort on neither their nor your part, it comes to you naturally. And that carefree aura? Fuck yeah i CRAVE friends like that 😭. I feel that you'd be an amazing one for late night talks and pj-parties; and your relaxed, welcoming demeanor is most likely appreciated by more people than you'd think <3.

Moving on to the one I believe would suit you best: I'd say laito!

I do have a second one in mind tho sdjkdfn subaru could also suit you. Here's my reasoning:

Laito~

You see, he's just there to have a good time and relax, he's been through way more than enough 💀. Honestly I can see him spoiling you rotten, and you two would have late night (day??) talks all the time. He'd talk to you abt anything once he believes you're genuine about how you feel with him. This includes his childhood memories, traumas, random things that intrigue him, and honestly anything to keep the conversation going if it means you'll stay with him. Besides, it's a perfect opportunity to explore together, if ykwim ;>

Subaru~

I was going to say subaru first, but laito's charming personality stopped me. The reason being, subaru is more subtle with his affection; he doesn't outright say it or show it without hesitation. He does it secretly, you'll kinda have to read between the lines in his words if you wanna hear his affection. Don't get me wrong, he does voice his emotions, just not as openly as laito. Most of the time, I feel like he'd rather try to show it through actions rather than words because tbh I'd be bashful to say what's in my heart too lol. Deep talks would happen more often with him tho, once he trusts you enough to talk about himself with you, you're not leaving him bbg he can't have the one person he cares about leave him behind <3

So yea, hope u like it <3

JBIDBCIEIDNIWIBCUUBWLJHDB-- I LOVE THIS, why are you are being so sweet to me omfg, I'm dying over here of diabetes and I don't even mind <33 thank u so much for being my DL cupid :DD

never thought Laito would be such a great fit for little ol'sexually shy me, but actually rn? totally buy it especially considering his AMAZING route in more blood

and I got my fave too: suba buba -- my favourite brand of bubblegum!!!

why am I being spoiled today with all the goods and all the best people? <333

[rouge-fauna]

It is really sad honestly, and I've had similar things happen to myself too with many many friendship falling outs. Both cc discduo believe the other has manipulated, been dishonest and faked their friendship. Dream has understandable valid reasons to believe this, tommy seems to believe it due to influence from his fans and friends and because he misinterpreted Dreams dms to him as manipulative because the dms are emotional. And in general many people tend to see emotional = manipulative. Like how people view "am i annoying you" msgs as manipulative. I do not at all believe that their entire friendship was a lie, and I dont believe they were never close and were just coworkers, based on their past intereactions and based on how upset Dream is, he clearly cared otherwise he wouldnt be sending those messages and getting upset on stream about it. People think he's obsessed with tommy for saying tommy has a good heart, but this is how you speak about an ex-friend, its not obsessive. Its sad. On top of that all the shit dream has had to cop with and tommy only making it worse. That said, I don't think tommy faked the friendship because tommy did defend dream a lot post-allegations from his own friends and fans, and checked up on him regularly but I do think its fucked now that tommy is acting like this , playing victim, feeding into his fanbases bs. Its clear to me that tommy genuinely thinks dream wronged him, but at the same time tommy is doing this to get more popularity. Another thing is when dream said that if it werent for the fanbases, then he and tommy might have been okay, I completely agree with that too, I've noticed since the start that the fandom has constantly torn into discduos friendship, analyizing every little detail to the point where it was straining their dynamic. Anyway...

those stats for prison arc damnn I had no idea ctommy did allthat, and the fact he killed the cat. I get why you would not watch exile arc rn, I've had to stop my whole dsmp rewatch plans cause of this, might return to it in 4 months

[context]

I’m not so sure if it was the fandom that turned Tommy against Dream or perhaps Tommy grew up and realized he needed to stand up for himself. Do I think Dream is this big evil manipulator? No, I think whatever Dream did he wasn’t aware of how he was coming across - like Tubbo talked about in his stream about how the majority of the content creators thought he was taking credit for their success when that wasn’t true. But just because someone doesn’t mean to hurt someone or come across a certain way doesn’t mean that they didn’t and that the other person’s feelings are invalid. Additionally, I think you can be hurt by something in retrospect without that other person being a shit person or whatever. For example, in retrospect after my first kiss I realized how uncomfortable and such I felt and how I felt violated afterwards, but here’s the thing, that doesn’t make the guy who kissed me a bad guy. He asked for consent and I gave it, in the moment I didn’t know what I was feeling till afterwards and afterwards I felt violated and manipulated into it. But I still don’t think he really meant to do that or that he is this shitty terrible guy, just because I feel this way after the fact. You can feel things even if they don’t make sense. So I think perhaps Tommy does feel a certain way in his retrospect and as he gets older feels like Dream wronged him and stuff, but the things is feelings don’t make something true. Feelings are always valid yes- but they are not truth. In fact, in the theme of comparing c! to cc!s, I think this is one of c!Tommy’s big character flaws. That he turns his feelings into truth. He felt like no one visited him in exile therefore no one visited him. Which obviously isn’t true. So perhaps this is a flaw within cc!Tommy too that he mistakes emotions for truth so because he feels wronged by Dream that makes Dream a wrong’un. Which is a very scuffed way to view things especially when you take your younger self’s view at face value. Because here’s the thing, when you are younger you have such limited experiences to look and view the world and you often make connections and opinions and observations you take into adulthood based on this limited experience. So perhaps Tommy was hurt by Dream but that doesn’t make Dream bad, clearly he was just being a good friend and helping him….

Yea I was pretty surprised. Like that’s only the things we see too, who knows how much theoretical stuff happened in those other weeks of them being stuck together. Like we literally see Tommy hit Dream more times on stream than we do Quackity. And Quackity is supposed to be the torturer, mind you of course, Quackity was hitting Dream with swords and shears and lots of it happened off camera, still… I found that interesting…

[largemandrill]

d twins and rogier 🫵

Thank you I have many thoughts about them.

Rogier

Favorite thing: His mental illness, obviously. There’s so many things wrong with him that are also things that are wrong with me. He’s just like me fr (bad thing)

Least favorite: I’m gonna be so vulnerable right now but his outfit is so fugly. Like, he rocks it, but it is HELL to draw and I personally rank characters in my head by how fun they are to draw. I love him enough to try though.

Favorite line: I like it when he full on admits that the Tarnished terrifies him. We are very scary and he’s just a little guy. He knows the only thing keeping the Tarnished from murder is that they have a little crush on him lol.

brOTP: Rogier doesn’t have real friends, He only knows how to abandon people after he’s convinced himself that they hate him. However, I do see the relationship with the player Tarnished as the only platonic thing he’s got going on. They are buddies and he’s not used to that. He can’t leave this one behind because he physically cannot move, and that’s probably for the best tbh.

OTP: you know who I am.

nOTP: Honestly I don’t really have nOTPs. Rogier is slutty enough that you can throw him at anyone and it can work. I guess I’m not too privy on when people portray him and Fia with anything close to a healthy relationship, but that’s not the ship itself’s fault.

Random Headcanon: He’s so transgender you could never understand.

Unpopular opinion: Not unpopular within our particular circle, but with the community as a whole. He’s a pathetic little weasel of a man with sad eyes and undiagnosed mental disorders. I love him but therapy can’t fix him.

Songs I associate: Should be noted that I can make any song about him if I try hard enough. The main ones that remind me of him are We are not friends by S, Bag of Bones by Silversun Pickups, Wine and Wheat by Madds Buckley, and Liar by Arcadian Wild.

Pic: This tiny guy from the manga

Darian

Favorite thing: His strong arms that can carry me into the sunset. And probably also his reflexive need to care for others to the point where he would probably die for a complete stranger.

Least favorite: Not his fault but again with that fucking OUTFIT. I love it aesthetically but my wrist hurts even thinking about drawing it.

Favorite Line: I love how much a jokester he is once you join Gurranq. Like when he tells you to not let him starve to death is so funny to me. He trusts you enough to joke and that makes me emotional tbh.

brOTP: In my mind, he and Nepheli are actually really good buddies. They’re both adopted by not great dads and they value other’s lives above all else. Also they probably drink together.

OTP: I’m not going into him and Rogier rn because that would take a full hour to write down. I’m just a man.

nOTP: I can’t see him with a woman, I’m so sorry self-shippers. It doesn’t gross me out, but it doesn’t register as realistic in my mind. He’s gay, that’s a golden order mandate.

Random Headcanon: He wouldn’t be a great dad, but he would be one of the best dads out of the male cast of this game. Really a tallest dwarf situation.

Unpopular opinion: He’s never been wrong about anything that wasn’t related to the Golden Order tbh. The skeletons are an issue and he’s one of the only people equipped to properly deal with them.

Songs I associate: If a song is about Catholic guilt it’s immediately about him. Take me to Church is legally his theme song.

Fav pic: my profile picture/phone background, obviously.

Devin

Favorite thing: His rabies

Least favorite: I wish he had more screen time. I know that’s so his speech is more impactful, but I still wanna see him more.

Favorite Line: His iconic slutshaming moment. Good for him tbh.

brOTP: Him and me in real life. We’d be chill.

OTP: I physically cannot imagine Devin having any romantic interests for some reason. He’s not really a person in his head so maybe he believes that he’s incapable of love or something. I have many Devin thoughts.

nOTP: see above

Random Headcanon: I genuinely believe he could be a pretty good musician if he pushed himself. He looks like Kurt Cobain I had to make that joke somewhere.

Unpopular opinion: I know I say he’s a freak, but he’s actually just a grieving little guy. His mouth is foaming and his eyes are filled with tears.

Song I associate: Moon Waltz by Cojim Dip. I dunno the vibe is just correct.

Favorite image: All fan art of him is great. I don’t have a specific pic for him lol.

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x15

Here we go... one last time

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Honestly thought I was going to be late to the episode but I actually work up at 8:01 am today so I am just a couple mins behind everyone else.

Am I prepared? Absolutely not.

Well that's an ominous noise. Always a good way to start 😰

The Kiner soundtrack is popping off as usual

I just need Hemlock to die

Indispensable? I'm not sure about that, mate. A lot of people have realised the Empire don't need them and I'm fairly certain you are on the list of people who can be ditched

Hahahahahaha the way the droid just starts looming behind her is kinda hilarious

OMEGA'S THEME 😭

Wrecker, bud, be careful...

Look at Omega sneaking around. She's so grown up! 🥲

ZILLOBEAST TIME

"Because that's exactly what I'd do" He's such a proud mum

THE WAY THE TROOPERS COME FLYING OUT OF THE FOG

"Clone Force 99 died with Tech`' well there goes my heart. I think this also explains why we haven't really heard the Batch theme since season 2. That theme was for CF 99 and if that doesn't truly exist anymore...

"It's what I deserve" CROSSHAIR DON'T DO THIS TO ME

"Echo's handiwork or Omega's?" "Omega's." I'M DYING

Omega's theme in this soundtrack is just 🤌

Oh great. We have a whole group of Clone Xs to contend with.

I just need all of the Batch together so that we can get the theme. I know I said earlier that we probably never got it because of a lack of Tech but I still stand by the fact that we deserve to hear it one last time.

These CX soldiers almost feel like a parallel to the Batch. One slightly larger, more hand-to-hand combat oriented soldier, one who fights with blades, a sniper, ONE WHO IS VERY TECH SAVVY 👀

WRECKER AAAAAAHHHH THIS IS NOT GOOD

NOT THE HAND

WTF?!

HELP

NO

THIS IS NOT GOOD 😰

Fuuuuuccckkk Echo's seen them down

"Causing chaos, Havoc 5?" HE'S STILL MAKING QUIPS IN THIS SITUATION I LOVE HIM

"Hey, kid. And... other kids." PLEASE 😭

"We'll meet you there" YOU BETTER DO

Echo and Omega teaming up is everything I ever needed ❤️‍🩹

Hemlock needs to die a slow, painful death

ECHO'S SPEECH FEELS LIKE THE SPEECH HE AND FIVES GAVE DURING THE ATTCK ON KAMINO I FEEL SICK

Rampart looking sus...

This feels like this isn't going as terribly as it could be and that scares me

Aw ☹️ bye, Nala Se. I never really loved you but it's sad to see you go

HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU, RAMPART

AAAAAAAHHHH ECHO GOT STABBED

You know what I said 2 seconds ago about it not being terrible? I think I spoke too soon...

YES WRECKER

I'm not liking the position Echo is stuck in rn. That stresses me out 😥

We're not exactly in top form but hey, an attempt is being made

ECHO BE CAREFUL

Soooo... I get the feeling CX-2 isn't Tech...

AW NO SCORCH

FUCK YES!!! Bye Hemlock 👋

THE LOOK ON CROSSHAIR'S FACE WHEN SHE HUGS HIM AAAAAHHHH

Tarkin is not going to be a happy bunny

Oop we got a Project Stardust mention

THE SHOW ENDING WITH THEM ON PABU??? LIKE AN ACTUAL SOMEWHAT HAPPY ENDING???

I'm crying

Actually sobbing

That shot of them all sat by the tree 😭😭😭

A FUCKING EPILOGUE KMN

I can't breath

SHE REMINDS ME OF PHEE AAAAHHH

GONKY!!! 🥹

OLD HUNTER?!

Omega is joining the Rebellion? 🥺

Crosshair, Hunter and Wrecker all got to live to an old age in relative peace I'm in so many tears rn

Okay but if Echo isn't with the others at this point then where is he??? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S STILL AROUND

TECH'S GOGGLES?!

I'm not okay on any level

Okay, so overall, I'm relatively satisfied with the ending. I also cried about as much as I would have done if they all died so my emotions are still all over the place. Do I think every question we had came to a satisfying conclusion? Not quite. But I think we tied up enough loose ends for me to be content.

And I'm happy they got a somewhat happy ending. Knowing that they get to live a life in relative peace makes me happy, and we know that Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair at least make it another few years. Omega joining the Rebellion also seems apt. As an Echo girly I unfortunately don't feel quite as secure with where we left off. I don't have the same level of closure that I do with the others because we know that around this point in time, he isn't with Rex. But he also isn't with the Batch either. I hope we get to see more of him in future projects because I don't quite feel satisfied with this being the end of his story. He's doing too much for it to stop there.

Also... we were wrong about Tech. The level of delusion we carried throughout this season, my god. 😭 But it means I'm confused by some of their choices. The way they focused on being savvy with technology, the way he moves being similar to Tech, FUCKING DOMICILE??? Like, they have to have known that we would all go that way with our theories so why??? If it wasn't him they why was he written the way he was? I refuse to believe everything we thought was purely out of delusion. Does this mean I have issues with the way Tech's story ended? Yes. But overall I think the show wrapped up fairly well.

I'll try and drop some more thoughts later down the line once I've pulled myself together a bit, but for now I can say that I am content. Completely satisfied? Not really, but definitely content.

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

rewatching the original star wars trilogy at the moment but i had to pause halfway through TESB because i think i'm one of the few people on earth that just cannot stand han solo's fuckboy attitude and gets super annoyed and disgusted with it idk it's not sexy to me, it just makes me feel icky. ANYWAY will be giving notes on those films when i've watched them all but i rewatched rogue one because it's my favourite star wars film and i'm an exhausted, tear stained mess rn enjoy these ramblings - spoilers under the cut

i love this film so much, could go on about it for ages and ages tbh but that would be a crazy long post even for my standards, so my biggest takeaways are that it's honestly the best looking film from all of the star wars movies we've got that i've seen (i haven't seen solo yet but i'm not really interested in it tbh but if people think i should see it maybe i will). the music is phenomenal, the visuals are stunning, the casting is spot on, and the storyline is cohesive. brava fr on this one

i was so into the first half i legit didn't really make notes so that's what you get for like the first half of the film lmao i was just too glued to the screen

i am so in love with this group of people, i think they're the most dynamic of all the groups we see

i haven't seen andor yet but you bet your ass i'm gonna after this because i forgot how much i love cassian - diego luna is fantastic

cassian and jyn <3 also K2 i love you

baze, chirrut and bohdi also just fill me up with joy this whole crew is *chef's kiss*

when baze calls jyn little sister 😭

the pure joy on literally every single rebel's face when they fly in and start shooting the AT-AT's is enough to send me into a fit of laughter and tears 😭 🙌

star wars ships designs are so unique and awesome i love them

K dying had me crying it always gets me

chirrut 💕

CHIRRUT 😭

general raddus is such a g oh my god

baze, you mean so much to me

that hammerhead corvette is so powerful what

jyn and cassian are like, yeah they're, they mean a lot to me, their relationship means a lot to me, i'm fine

lies i'm literally sobbing at this point and can no longer type

had to come back eventually just to write that i'm forever grateful they hugged at the end because they could have done a cheap kiss shot but they didn't and i love and appreciate gareth edwards for this + vader's entrance is fucking astounding

this is genuinely the only star wars film that always makes me cry because i care so much for all the characters and they all fucking DIE - the skywalker saga doesn't have this level of stakes in the fact that we know they all survive at the end of the day, but this movie literally isn't like that, they all die for the cause and it's fucking heartbreaking and powerful and it wasn't for nothing!!!! 10/10 fr imo, i need a fat glass of cold water now because i'm a total wreck dudes like i am this emoji 😭 rn no lie (i cry laughed through writing this final bit because damn dude y'all should see me i don't get this emotional for movies that often but i'm a complete mess and my throat hurts)