#i honestly am too emotions to care rn

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I wonder what it is about Instagram that intimidates me so much. Especially in regards to posting artwork or utilizing any form of interaction on there. The whole site just feels completely exhausting, overstimulating, and not to mention arduous. More and more, I feel less and less good every time I open that app, which kind of sucks because I feel like it is kind of the most obligatory platform in order to stay connected with most people, especially at an industry level, if that makes sense. It just is so unenjoyable to me. Even though I mostly just follow artists whose work I enjoy and support. Am I alone in feeling like instagram just kind of sucks?

[kimmkitsuragi]

whew haha

[girlboypersonthingy]

Can I request Vi, Jinx and Caitlyn trying to cheer up/apologize to their S/O after a nasty fight? I wonder what they would do to try and make it up to them.

AAAHHHH ANGSTY GIRLS ARE MY WEAKNESS 😩💔 As always, I am so grateful for the request! Also sorry this took so long… ENJOY~

VI 💘

Okay, she def said some mean shit to you. She’s good with her fists, but she has a sharp tongue too. She can destroy someone with her words just as fast as she could with her bare hands.

You’re hurt and upset, probably crying or maybe you’re angry at her. She knows you’re upset at her too…she just doesn’t care rn.

Once she’s gone off on her own to calm down, she’s thinking about what she said to you and the longer Vi thinks about it, replaying the words in her head, the more she feels guilty.

She comes back to find you later with the saddest look on her face. It’s obvious that she feels so guilty she wants to die right now but it doesn’t make the sting of her words any better.

“(Y/N)….I…” She can’t even come up with words that could fix this. She knows she really fucked up.

She’d definitely try to physically comfort you before she would try to offer comforting words. She does not know how to say sorry, it’s lowkey so hard for her. She feels sorry but the words just won’t leave her mouth.

Vi would sit or lay beside you and gently cup your chin in her hand, turning your face so she can look at you.

“Sorry…” She finally spits it out, watching your eyes water.

Then she’d go straight in for a kiss, maybe on the lips, maybe on your forehead. She’ll put her lips wherever you’ll let her rn.

If you accept/return the kiss, now she’s feeling more comfortable with talking. She’ll apologize again then kiss you again then apologize again then kiss you again, maybe slip a little compliment in about how precious you are to her then back to kisses. This goes on for like 5 minutes straight until you’re smiling a bit and your heart feels full again.

If you DONT accept her kisses or apologies, she’ll get so sad. This girl will just watch you with wide eyes, chewing on her lip as she asks “what…can I do?”

Honestly, give her any task you can think of, she will do it so fast with no complaints. Tell her to go jump off a bridge and she’s running there. Tell her to actually give you a proper apology and she will stutter through it and look at you with puppy dog eyes as she tries her best to make you feel like she doesn’t hate you.

If you’re just giving her the silent treatment, she will literally go disappear for like 8 hours. She’ll just give you space and go think about what she did. She’ll spend this time reflecting inward, thinking about what lead up to the outburst, why she felt the way she did, why she let her emotions get the best of her, why she took it out on you of all people.

When she finally comes back, hopefully you’re more ready to listen and respond to her. She’s so grateful when you are.

She will do literally anything for you when you’re upset with her. Even if it’s illegal or dangerous or something she has no idea about, she’ll figure it out and do it for you. Think there’s something she won’t do? Try her.

Once you’ve been consoled and talked to properly, when you’ve finally accepted her apology, she just wants to be close to your. You don’t have to be cuddling, you could just be holding hands or laying down with your head in her lap. She just needs the physical reassurance that you’re still her ✨partner✨

JINX 🦋

Let’s be real…Jinx blows up on you a lot. She just loses it too often and you two are so close, you’re always right in the path of destruction.

She’s not really the type to apologize after every time she blows up on you. If it’s obvious that you’re just butt hurt and irritated with her, she won’t bring up what happened but she will get all clingy and nice all of a sudden. She knows what she did and she’s gonna cheer you up and make you feel loved. She just wants to remind you that she’s unstable but your relationship shouldn’t be. She’s trying.

If she really upsets you, says something that really hits home, she’ll break down crying almost immediately after the words have left her lips. You might not even be crying yet, but Jinx is. She can tell by the look on your face, the way your lips are turned down and your eye brows are lowered, she can tell that you are truly hurt.

When you’re upset like this, she will cry hysterically as she tries to apologize and explain herself. She’ll be sniffling and hiccuping as she furiously wipes her wet eyes. Honestly, when she gets like this you think maybe she’s more upset than you are rn.

When she yells at you like this, it all comes pouring out of her mouth in the heat of the moment. She’s just in a blind rage. But as your face changes, she’s always reminded of her sister. The way her sister would yell at her and call her names. It triggers her and she always ends up sobbing in your lap, begging for your forgiveness, begging for you to stay with her, begging for you to love her still.

If you readily accept her apology and maybe offer her some comfort, she will comfort you back tenfold! She’s playing with your hair, gently scratching your back, offering to rub your feet while she’s still apologizing every so often. She feels like a bad dog who needs punishing and bc you won’t really punish her, she turns to manual labor on you. This is her punishment, pampering you until she’s exhausted.

If you’re not so quick to accept her apology, she gets scared…like actually terrified of you walking out on her right now. She’ll get really quiet, probably not even crying anymore, but she won’t let go of you. She’ll stay flush against you, her arms trapping your torso against her own. She feels like if she just clings to you, you can never leave. She can’t handle you leaving…plz don’t leave her.

As you both sit in silence, she’ll remain still, only moving to tighten her grip or lay her head on your other shoulder. In this moment, nothing else matters to her, no one else matters to her. Sure, she’s probably scared of being alone, but she’s never loved someone as much as she loves you. You are her everything…if she loses you…then she has nothing else to lose. She doesn’t know what she’ll do then.

She’s basically having a silent panic attack as she clings to you, awaiting your response. And she’ll wait forever if she has to.

If you need some space and time to yourself, she will literally just back away a little bit and still stay in the same room. She’s literally terrified…she thinks if she leaves the room she’ll never see you again. But she will stay silent and give you some breathing room.

Once you’re finally ready to talk about it, she’s constantly interrupting you to tell you that this is all her fault and how sorry she is. She isn’t trying to speak over you, she just feels like you shouldn’t be the one doing the talking, she just needs to make sure you know how horrible she feels.

As you talk it out and come to terms with what has happened between you two, she’ll get happy again and start smiling at you. She’s just so overjoyed that you forgave her and are willing to keep trying with her. That’s all she can ask of you…please keep trying. Don’t give up on her.

She’s a good girl at heart and she’s trying her best with what she’s got.

CAITLYN ��

It’s actually very rare that you two fight. Caitlyn can be very stubborn and hard headed but she is always willing to compromise for you.

This time tho…she just lost control. She was having a rough week, feeling like she lacked confidence and security in her job, feeling the weight of her parent’s expectations of her and she just snapped at you.

Yeah…it stings but she would never say anything offensive to you. Ever. She might raise her voice at you and call you a pain in her ass but a crude name or insult would never leave her mouth when talking to you.

She probably just told you to shut up and leave her alone bc she’s stressed okay? She can’t handle you rn. She needs to be alone and think in silence.

If you’re upset and decide to leave her be, she’ll spend maybe an hour or two alone before she comes to find you. When she does, she takes your hands in hers and says your name so softly. If you’re not looking at her, she’ll pull her hand away from yours to gently grab your chin and turn your face to her. She pretty much forces eye contact and tenderly whispers an apology.

If you decide not to leave her, maybe you just back away and stay on the other side of the room. She’ll accept your presence as long as you’re quiet…and after the way she said “shut up”, you’re sure to keep quiet.

After maybe 20 minutes, she’s speaking up to apologize…but she’s still in a sour mood. Don’t let her stern apology fool you. You should probably just stay silent.

Soon she’s waving her hand at you as she mumbles “come here…” and you do. You go to her slowly, noticing how she’s watching you. Once you’re within arms length of her, she’s reaching for your hands and trying to look into your sad eyes. She’ll shyly apologize as her thumbs rub over your hands.

If you don’t accept her apology so quickly, she’s very mature about it. She’ll tell you that she accepts your response and then she’ll say how sorry she is again before leaving you to think about it more. She’ll give you space for as long as you need it. She’ll busy herself with other things while still thinking of what she can say to make you understand how sorry she is. She’ll take this time apart to really think about how much you mean to her and how she can better herself and your relationship.

If you immediately accept her apology, she’ll pull you into a tight hug and gently kiss your cheek before explaining herself to you. Caitlyn feels like she has to explain where she’s coming from and why she snapped like that. She needs you to know that she’s not upset with you and she shouldn’t have taken her anger out on you. She doesn’t want you thinking she’s mad at you when she’s actually mad at everything but you.

Whenever you decide to accept her apology, she wants to have a whole conversation about it immediately. Like I said, Caitlyn is very mature, very polite and caring. She wants to talk this out like a couple in love should. She wants to dive deep into your partnership and make sure you’re feeling okay.

She just cares about you so much. She never means to snap at you…she’s just under a lot of pressure. So when it does happen, she can’t just sweep it under the rug. She must be sure that you still love her and that you know she still loves you. Plz tell her you still love her.

[leondickrider]

fluff alphabet ౨ৎ leon s kennedy x gn!reader

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 || working on sm leon fanfics at once ! i made this in like 20 minutes so it prolly sucks but idc!! nsfw alphabet coming soon :3

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 || fluff (obvi), not proofread or read by betas

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 || deinking mentioned, none

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 || leon s kennedy mlist 🎀 @starzu

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

leon really loves just kicking back and relaxing with his s/o. after soo many life-threatening missions, he just wants to kick back on the sofa with his s/o in his arms and binge watch some tv. however, he also really loves taking they all the places they want to visit, whether it's a concert or a museum

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

everything, literally finds every inch of his s/o perfect and beautiful. but, he really loves their hands, especially if they are soft and smaller because it's the opposite of his hands that are rough from so much fighting and training. also finds their eyes beautiful, will literally hold contact for hours if he could

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

refer back to re4r how leon comforted ashley. he's really good at comforting you and will do anything to help cheer you up. 2 am emotional binge sesh? he's driving to the shoppe and buying you ice cream and frost and drizzle or syrup and sprinkles and brownie bits and cookies and and potato chips and and cheeseburgers and fries and tater tots and cheese and everything (i'm on a rlly strict diet so this is deadass just me listing foods i want rn) 5 pm cry sesh? he already has the tissues, blankets, stuffies and tear-jerking movies ready

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

in 1998, leon would dream about having a totally normal relationship with you. big suburban house, a couple kids. but after the raccoon city, he kind of changed his dreams. he still craves the normal, domestic life, but now he kinda envisions it as just you and him. not that he doesn't want kids, he just doesn't want them to be in such a dangerous world

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

i think he'd be more dominant in relationships when it comes to most things. not dominant in a weird, controlling way. but he would want his s/o to come to him before making any big decisions simply bc he probably brings home the bacon with his government paycheck. but other than financially, he's pretty passive, he really doesn't care what you do as long as you don't do like porn or like cheat

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

depends honestly; most fights he will forgive you, but sometimes he really holds it against you and just shuts you out for a while before resuming as if nothing happened. however, when he snaps and lets words he doesn't mean to get out, he will apologize so much. even if you forgive him, he doesn't believe it and will buy you everything

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

very grateful! in 1998-2013 and after vendetta specifically. he realizes that you help keep him happy pretty fast. if you're in raccoon city with him then he probably felt a lot better and more confident. (def not bc he wanted to show off in front of his partner!!) in 2004 he is soo grateful you were willing to stay with him even with the job he ended up with and with all the training he had to get. in vendetta i think that's when he might seem ungrateful cuz of his drinking.... but yeah after all that he's back to normal

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

a lot of secrets :(

mainly about work though, cuz unless you're an agent he literally cannot legally get into the details with you. he keeps secrets abt his drinking too, like you know he drinks but you don't know how much he drinks.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

yes! he became more confident in himself because like being in a relationship makes him feel like somebody wants him, so he gains sm self confidence and actually wants to be stronger so he can return home from missions !

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

i think he gets jealous pretty easily. he will get a bit jealous if a person look at you twice, or somebody flirts. but part of him thinks you deserve somebody better so he doesn't ever tell you about his jealousy, you gotta hring it up first

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

a very good kisser!! every single kiss is filled w sm love and affection and passion <3 mainly bc he doesn't really know when it will be the last kiss :(

first kiss was really special even though it was spontaneous. it was in the late hours of the night, the whole apartment dark except for the tv light. and you were slow dancing to some random song when suddenly the mood felt right and he kisses you MANSBSHH (this is based on my first kiss with my ex ....)

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

he doesn't really confess first, he drops subtle hints that he has feelings for you and just gopes you catch onto his words

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

yes, going back to dream. he thinks about marriage all the time, he likes the idea of having a cute lil spouse to come home too after grueling missions

he proposes totally out of nowhere. he originally had a plan, he was going to take you on a romantic vacation before proposing to you while there. but he chickened out last second, so after several other attempts (that he backed out of last minute) he finally had enough. and then one morning he got down on one knee after buying you a ton of donuts

marriage is really good. he's such husband material. overprotective but not too overprotective. possessive but not too possessive. you know what i'm saying?

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

sticks to the classics most of the time: babe, baby, love, sweetheart, etc etc. lots of italian pet names

however when he's sweet he really branches out: sweet girl/boy, lovie, lovebug, cuddlebug, pretty

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

oh my gosh, this man is so lovey-dovey. literally heart eyes for you. but he forces himself to stay serious even thought other people easily know he's all your's. he doesn't talk much when it's just you and him, preferring to just sit silently across from you and listen to you. and that's what makes it obvious to others since normally he doesn't pay attention and always says his dad jokes or says something stupid

he expresses his feelings by like... yeah.... not being annoying i guess

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

hmm, he doesn't really like pda due to his job. he knows he has enemies who are after him, but most don't really know about you since they don't really look into that. however, when he's off work, he'll take you into cities and his hand in always on you, whether he's holding your hand, or his hand is planted on your hip/waist. just makes him feel better

he brags about you to all of his friends. chris hears about it nonstop while leon is drunk (and he sobs after bc the redfield bloodline.) "sure that looks nice on them but you know who would look better in it? my s/o." "oh, my s/o has that same necklace, i bought it for them in paris." (😭)

he doesn't really care after the missions. esp if he got close to death, he is all over you the second he sees you. he doesn't care who is watching or who sees, he is literally holding you as if you were dying

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

he knows whenever you are upset. doesn't even need to hear you speak. literally can just tell from your footsteps or your posture

also, he's really quiet so when you are having your moments he's able to sneak around withhout setting you off (please i get so annoyed when people are loud when i'm mad)

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

yes

he will do everything to make his s/o happy

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

it really depends on your goals. if your goal is to become famous on onlyfans (aimed) then he probably wouldn't really help cuz well why would he?

he believes in you to an extent, he's brutally honest sometimes so... yeah... if you're dumb he will tell you that you're dumb (in a nice way) but he tries his best to support you 💀

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

there's no such thing as routine with this man other than his exercise routine 

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you better than you do. this man literally buys whatever you're craving like a week before you even ask fo it. he knows exactly what album or movie or video game you're going to beg him to buy so he already got you it

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

literally his top pirority. it goes you, his friends, him. he always puts you ahead of himself in everything and values your life sm more than his own :(

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

everytime he returns from his missions, he always comes home with your favorite snack and an expensive bouquet of your favorite flowers (if you get the expensive bouquet reference jtm)

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

yes, he is so touch starved and can cuddle all day if you let him. he kisses you a lot as well

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he always carries a little polaroid of you snd him cuddles together on the sofa (taken before 1998 for draamtic effect) and just looks at it for a little bit

he also bought a small bottle of your fav purfume/fragrance and always takes it with him on missions, aweet boy :)

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

this man would literally take a bullet for you !! A BULLET !!

reblogs appreciated always ♡

i'm making a ghost ver of this as well since i love him sm !! :))

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I initially wanted my take to be accompanied by a funny haha drawing, but I am too busy rn and the brainrot is too strong.

For a long time I tried to understand WHAT makes your version of Belos far scarier than he is in the show. It was so weird but it added to the angsty atmosphere perfectly, making the situation seem more hopeless.

But! Now I have a theory. (Little disclamer: I describe the reasoning through purely subjective lenses and how I came to understand the character from the original show.)

Your Belos is far scarier because he hadn't lost anything. Caleb is right there! Alive and "well". There is no buttons to push to trigger any emotional human response. Your Belos has no tragedy that would be painful enough to make him in any way irrational.

Even the grimwalkers are created with cold calculated reason in mind. They are not the irrational impulse to get his dead brother back. Philip just can't have any possible attachement to the blond boys. He doesn't see them as the extension of Caleb and therefore cant care less if they betray him or not. Pure manipulation of the tool.

Philip wasn't alone for 4 hundred years. He had the "fellow human" by his side the whole time. And that human is also the reason for the whole ordeal. So your Philip would care less about other humans, because he doesnt have this longing for the connection. Cross him? Bam! No mercy, even if you are human.

The same goes with his relation to the human realm. Your Belos wouldnt give a shit that the world has changed. Caleb is with him and that would is enough. Again, no buttons to push!

My mind is a mess, but I hope my points are understantable.

You think my boy is scarier than canon?

[IMAGE ID: Belos looking smug, saying, "You flatter me..." /End ID]

Ah! Meta discussion in my inbox! I LOVE getting to see how people react to the stuff I make and why. It's half the fun, honestly :) Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

For my own part, I would say the tragedy that makes him irrational is his prejudiced upbringing and his stubborn adherance to it no matter what. He was taught to never question or reconsider. The beliefs he absorbed are always, always right, and those who disagree are always wrong or misled or evil.

Even when it's a fellow human. Even when it's Caleb.

What compels me about writing my version of Belos is that he's a version of the character who wants to have his cake and eat it too. Caleb is alive. Caleb is "bewitched." In his beliefs, it would be kinder to kill him. To save his soul. To return him to God.

He doesn't. Perhaps he's more hopeful than he is in canon. Perhaps he's more selfish. Perhaps he just got lucky in a fight that was never intended to end in Caleb's death.

Either way, this is a version of Belos who refuses to take the quick and "merciful" way out. He wants to adhere to his beliefs and keep his brother at the same time, even when it means that Caleb must suffer.

[mellarked-katnisseverdeen]

THG Reread Thoughts...I don't know how many I am up too. Sorry XD.

Katniss and both her alliances reresent some kind of rebellion, tbh. Both of them are representing her chooseing love and compassion over obeying the Capitol.

Katniss is SMART. SO much smarter than I remember giving her credit for. She isn't uber, mastermind genius because she is still in actual fact 16. But she was able to form a plan to get a legit leg up on the Careers useing all of her and Rues skills and it works as best it can. And I don't even think ALL of that is how much she is forced to survive. I think Katniss is genuinely a sharp girl.

Mentioned it in the Rue focused post...just the way her death hit me true tears came to my eyes. The unfairness and pain Katniss expereinces took my breath away as an adult whose, this time reading it, has expereince so much more loss.

So the rule change...is interesting. I will always maintain Crane WAS a bit short sighted sanctioning it. Had he thought about the possibility of them actually both living and what that would mean I legit don't think he would have. Whitch speaks to the ambition that festers in the Capitol...they wanted a better show, a love story. To bad that became hope and a rallying cry.

Katniss calling out Peeta's name is such an iconic scene. It shows just how much she has him on her brain the first thing she does is call to him.

Forgot how real Collins got with their injuries. Peeta's leg is something you can't avoid for even a sentence. Katniss's hearing is a constant issue and showing even in a realisic way (as someone who considers herself hard of hearing, this is actually refreshing to see).

Lets talk everlark. I think I will start by saying how early Katniss expression confusion caused by the act they had to preform took me back. We see so much more of that, the constant unsure and confused mess around her emotions, but it does start almost as soon as the act does. Katniss begins to wonder what she is doing because there is something connecting Peeta and her, and what she is doing for the act very early on and importantly, it only gets worse. Lying does this kids, even with the best intentions. And it makes it hurt when you get glimpes of how much Katniss DOES love and care for him.

Katniss instantly suspecting there is some truth to Peetas story about his crush makes me give her sus eyes so hard XD. Like girl you seem very eagar for him to not be totally playing to the camara rn XD.

There moment hunting is SO sweet honestly. And one of the more real moments they got and I love it.

The feast and the medicine scenes shocked with how much they scared me rereading them this time around. For a moment I forgot Thresh spares Katniss, and was genuinely worried for her. Points to Collins for her writing being with rereading in mind! Her storytelling is exciting enough to be captivating upon rereads whitch is AWESOME and not always the case.

Peeta nurseing both him and Katniss back after she's been helping him. Get you a man who will do it like him.

Katniss and her reaction to their first 'real' kiss forgetting she landing a smooch onto his cheek. Yes it was a snarky thing then but still XD. Reguardless it is SO sweet.

'The first time I want another' about this kiss also has been the subject of a lot of back and forth. Reading it now, it is pretty clear to me that yea...Katniss is meant to be expereince SOME kind of desire here. If for nothing else, more closeness.

[anxious-witch]

So, once I actually had a moment to think and the sheer excitment of yesterday died down, I gotta say I love that Bojan seems to have decided to give the rest of the band more appreciation during this tour.

The rest is under the cut bc this will be long.

Like, we saw that Jure had a solo and all the lights focused on him(which was so fucking cool I really think Jure needs more appreciation), we got Kris singing part of NGVOT, and the way Bojan included Jan and to an extent Nace more(I suspect Nace will either get more inclusion soon too or he specifically request Bojan not to focus on him).

I think it's probably a combination of him wanting his friends to be more appreciated, and partially to kind off, take the spotlight off hinself for a bit? Which is very sweet and I love that.

And yes, of course I am happy Jere joined them on tour, but I love that both him and Bojan said "yes, we know our friendship is a big part what made us to popular, but we also work and care about other people. Respect that" and honestly, I do. I respect that so much

Anyway, if you got this far, thank you for coming to my ted talk, I think the emotions are hitting me hard rn

[largemandrill]

d twins and rogier 🫵

Thank you I have many thoughts about them.

Rogier

Favorite thing: His mental illness, obviously. There’s so many things wrong with him that are also things that are wrong with me. He’s just like me fr (bad thing)

Least favorite: I’m gonna be so vulnerable right now but his outfit is so fugly. Like, he rocks it, but it is HELL to draw and I personally rank characters in my head by how fun they are to draw. I love him enough to try though.

Favorite line: I like it when he full on admits that the Tarnished terrifies him. We are very scary and he’s just a little guy. He knows the only thing keeping the Tarnished from murder is that they have a little crush on him lol.

brOTP: Rogier doesn’t have real friends, He only knows how to abandon people after he’s convinced himself that they hate him. However, I do see the relationship with the player Tarnished as the only platonic thing he’s got going on. They are buddies and he’s not used to that. He can’t leave this one behind because he physically cannot move, and that’s probably for the best tbh.

OTP: you know who I am.

nOTP: Honestly I don’t really have nOTPs. Rogier is slutty enough that you can throw him at anyone and it can work. I guess I’m not too privy on when people portray him and Fia with anything close to a healthy relationship, but that’s not the ship itself’s fault.

Random Headcanon: He’s so transgender you could never understand.

Unpopular opinion: Not unpopular within our particular circle, but with the community as a whole. He’s a pathetic little weasel of a man with sad eyes and undiagnosed mental disorders. I love him but therapy can’t fix him.

Songs I associate: Should be noted that I can make any song about him if I try hard enough. The main ones that remind me of him are We are not friends by S, Bag of Bones by Silversun Pickups, Wine and Wheat by Madds Buckley, and Liar by Arcadian Wild.

Pic: This tiny guy from the manga

Darian

Favorite thing: His strong arms that can carry me into the sunset. And probably also his reflexive need to care for others to the point where he would probably die for a complete stranger.

Least favorite: Not his fault but again with that fucking OUTFIT. I love it aesthetically but my wrist hurts even thinking about drawing it.

Favorite Line: I love how much a jokester he is once you join Gurranq. Like when he tells you to not let him starve to death is so funny to me. He trusts you enough to joke and that makes me emotional tbh.

brOTP: In my mind, he and Nepheli are actually really good buddies. They’re both adopted by not great dads and they value other’s lives above all else. Also they probably drink together.

OTP: I’m not going into him and Rogier rn because that would take a full hour to write down. I’m just a man.

nOTP: I can’t see him with a woman, I’m so sorry self-shippers. It doesn’t gross me out, but it doesn’t register as realistic in my mind. He’s gay, that’s a golden order mandate.

Random Headcanon: He wouldn’t be a great dad, but he would be one of the best dads out of the male cast of this game. Really a tallest dwarf situation.

Unpopular opinion: He’s never been wrong about anything that wasn’t related to the Golden Order tbh. The skeletons are an issue and he’s one of the only people equipped to properly deal with them.

Songs I associate: If a song is about Catholic guilt it’s immediately about him. Take me to Church is legally his theme song.

Fav pic: my profile picture/phone background, obviously.

Devin

Favorite thing: His rabies

Least favorite: I wish he had more screen time. I know that’s so his speech is more impactful, but I still wanna see him more.

Favorite Line: His iconic slutshaming moment. Good for him tbh.

brOTP: Him and me in real life. We’d be chill.

OTP: I physically cannot imagine Devin having any romantic interests for some reason. He’s not really a person in his head so maybe he believes that he’s incapable of love or something. I have many Devin thoughts.

nOTP: see above

Random Headcanon: I genuinely believe he could be a pretty good musician if he pushed himself. He looks like Kurt Cobain I had to make that joke somewhere.

Unpopular opinion: I know I say he’s a freak, but he’s actually just a grieving little guy. His mouth is foaming and his eyes are filled with tears.

Song I associate: Moon Waltz by Cojim Dip. I dunno the vibe is just correct.

Favorite image: All fan art of him is great. I don’t have a specific pic for him lol.

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x15

Here we go... one last time

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Honestly thought I was going to be late to the episode but I actually work up at 8:01 am today so I am just a couple mins behind everyone else.

Am I prepared? Absolutely not.

Well that's an ominous noise. Always a good way to start 😰

The Kiner soundtrack is popping off as usual

I just need Hemlock to die

Indispensable? I'm not sure about that, mate. A lot of people have realised the Empire don't need them and I'm fairly certain you are on the list of people who can be ditched

Hahahahahaha the way the droid just starts looming behind her is kinda hilarious

OMEGA'S THEME 😭

Wrecker, bud, be careful...

Look at Omega sneaking around. She's so grown up! 🥲

ZILLOBEAST TIME

"Because that's exactly what I'd do" He's such a proud mum

THE WAY THE TROOPERS COME FLYING OUT OF THE FOG

"Clone Force 99 died with Tech`' well there goes my heart. I think this also explains why we haven't really heard the Batch theme since season 2. That theme was for CF 99 and if that doesn't truly exist anymore...

"It's what I deserve" CROSSHAIR DON'T DO THIS TO ME

"Echo's handiwork or Omega's?" "Omega's." I'M DYING

Omega's theme in this soundtrack is just 🤌

Oh great. We have a whole group of Clone Xs to contend with.

I just need all of the Batch together so that we can get the theme. I know I said earlier that we probably never got it because of a lack of Tech but I still stand by the fact that we deserve to hear it one last time.

These CX soldiers almost feel like a parallel to the Batch. One slightly larger, more hand-to-hand combat oriented soldier, one who fights with blades, a sniper, ONE WHO IS VERY TECH SAVVY 👀

WRECKER AAAAAAHHHH THIS IS NOT GOOD

NOT THE HAND

WTF?!

HELP

NO

THIS IS NOT GOOD 😰

Fuuuuuccckkk Echo's seen them down

"Causing chaos, Havoc 5?" HE'S STILL MAKING QUIPS IN THIS SITUATION I LOVE HIM

"Hey, kid. And... other kids." PLEASE 😭

"We'll meet you there" YOU BETTER DO

Echo and Omega teaming up is everything I ever needed ❤️‍🩹

Hemlock needs to die a slow, painful death

ECHO'S SPEECH FEELS LIKE THE SPEECH HE AND FIVES GAVE DURING THE ATTCK ON KAMINO I FEEL SICK

Rampart looking sus...

This feels like this isn't going as terribly as it could be and that scares me

Aw ☹️ bye, Nala Se. I never really loved you but it's sad to see you go

HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU, RAMPART

AAAAAAAHHHH ECHO GOT STABBED

You know what I said 2 seconds ago about it not being terrible? I think I spoke too soon...

YES WRECKER

I'm not liking the position Echo is stuck in rn. That stresses me out 😥

We're not exactly in top form but hey, an attempt is being made

ECHO BE CAREFUL

Soooo... I get the feeling CX-2 isn't Tech...

AW NO SCORCH

FUCK YES!!! Bye Hemlock 👋

THE LOOK ON CROSSHAIR'S FACE WHEN SHE HUGS HIM AAAAAHHHH

Tarkin is not going to be a happy bunny

Oop we got a Project Stardust mention

THE SHOW ENDING WITH THEM ON PABU??? LIKE AN ACTUAL SOMEWHAT HAPPY ENDING???

I'm crying

Actually sobbing

That shot of them all sat by the tree 😭😭😭

A FUCKING EPILOGUE KMN

I can't breath

SHE REMINDS ME OF PHEE AAAAHHH

GONKY!!! 🥹

OLD HUNTER?!

Omega is joining the Rebellion? 🥺

Crosshair, Hunter and Wrecker all got to live to an old age in relative peace I'm in so many tears rn

Okay but if Echo isn't with the others at this point then where is he??? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S STILL AROUND

TECH'S GOGGLES?!

I'm not okay on any level

Okay, so overall, I'm relatively satisfied with the ending. I also cried about as much as I would have done if they all died so my emotions are still all over the place. Do I think every question we had came to a satisfying conclusion? Not quite. But I think we tied up enough loose ends for me to be content.

And I'm happy they got a somewhat happy ending. Knowing that they get to live a life in relative peace makes me happy, and we know that Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair at least make it another few years. Omega joining the Rebellion also seems apt. As an Echo girly I unfortunately don't feel quite as secure with where we left off. I don't have the same level of closure that I do with the others because we know that around this point in time, he isn't with Rex. But he also isn't with the Batch either. I hope we get to see more of him in future projects because I don't quite feel satisfied with this being the end of his story. He's doing too much for it to stop there.

Also... we were wrong about Tech. The level of delusion we carried throughout this season, my god. 😭 But it means I'm confused by some of their choices. The way they focused on being savvy with technology, the way he moves being similar to Tech, FUCKING DOMICILE??? Like, they have to have known that we would all go that way with our theories so why??? If it wasn't him they why was he written the way he was? I refuse to believe everything we thought was purely out of delusion. Does this mean I have issues with the way Tech's story ended? Yes. But overall I think the show wrapped up fairly well.

I'll try and drop some more thoughts later down the line once I've pulled myself together a bit, but for now I can say that I am content. Completely satisfied? Not really, but definitely content.

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

rewatching the original star wars trilogy at the moment but i had to pause halfway through TESB because i think i'm one of the few people on earth that just cannot stand han solo's fuckboy attitude and gets super annoyed and disgusted with it idk it's not sexy to me, it just makes me feel icky. ANYWAY will be giving notes on those films when i've watched them all but i rewatched rogue one because it's my favourite star wars film and i'm an exhausted, tear stained mess rn enjoy these ramblings - spoilers under the cut

i love this film so much, could go on about it for ages and ages tbh but that would be a crazy long post even for my standards, so my biggest takeaways are that it's honestly the best looking film from all of the star wars movies we've got that i've seen (i haven't seen solo yet but i'm not really interested in it tbh but if people think i should see it maybe i will). the music is phenomenal, the visuals are stunning, the casting is spot on, and the storyline is cohesive. brava fr on this one

i was so into the first half i legit didn't really make notes so that's what you get for like the first half of the film lmao i was just too glued to the screen

i am so in love with this group of people, i think they're the most dynamic of all the groups we see

i haven't seen andor yet but you bet your ass i'm gonna after this because i forgot how much i love cassian - diego luna is fantastic

cassian and jyn <3 also K2 i love you

baze, chirrut and bohdi also just fill me up with joy this whole crew is *chef's kiss*

when baze calls jyn little sister 😭

the pure joy on literally every single rebel's face when they fly in and start shooting the AT-AT's is enough to send me into a fit of laughter and tears 😭 🙌

star wars ships designs are so unique and awesome i love them

K dying had me crying it always gets me

chirrut 💕

CHIRRUT 😭

general raddus is such a g oh my god

baze, you mean so much to me

that hammerhead corvette is so powerful what

jyn and cassian are like, yeah they're, they mean a lot to me, their relationship means a lot to me, i'm fine

lies i'm literally sobbing at this point and can no longer type

had to come back eventually just to write that i'm forever grateful they hugged at the end because they could have done a cheap kiss shot but they didn't and i love and appreciate gareth edwards for this + vader's entrance is fucking astounding

this is genuinely the only star wars film that always makes me cry because i care so much for all the characters and they all fucking DIE - the skywalker saga doesn't have this level of stakes in the fact that we know they all survive at the end of the day, but this movie literally isn't like that, they all die for the cause and it's fucking heartbreaking and powerful and it wasn't for nothing!!!! 10/10 fr imo, i need a fat glass of cold water now because i'm a total wreck dudes like i am this emoji 😭 rn no lie (i cry laughed through writing this final bit because damn dude y'all should see me i don't get this emotional for movies that often but i'm a complete mess and my throat hurts)

[pancakes-with-grounded-hazelnuts]

thinking about how funny firefly is after finding out she's also sam because they're very much the same person.

as much as i enjoy the contrast of cute girl vs. murder robot, it's more appealing and interesting for me to interpret them as two genuine expressions of their identity.

going back to 2.0 when she's pretending to be a local and member of the iris family, instead of either hiding her identity for safety reasons or using her authority to control the situation (what i'd typically expect from a member of a powerful family), she's just like "i am [INSERT IDENTITY] and i do [INSERT OCCUPATION] hello! formalities! smile !!" and then she says she'll give TB a tour of golden hour and does exactly that to the best of her abilities.

she IS clearly capable of keeping secrets and acting with ulterior motives but she seems like she's doing the bare minimum out of necessity and it's far easier for her to just be direct and honest.

it's also so charming to me how much she seems to completely tune out what isn't obviously relevant to her goals. like oh this person is acting in a way i don't know how to handle...will this pose a threat? no? okay well idc. she does not care about your nuance.

and then there's her willingness to cut a bitch to get what she wants/needs. jk i actually don't seriously think firefly will simply opt for FIRE AND BLOOD as the answer to everything (nor do i think sam will either because i think their death count and MO is influenced by a number of factors but that's a topic for another day).

it's more like she prioritizes getting the job done and the most direct approach is her go-to. and when that doesn't work (or it's just taking too long when things are urgent) she will just go down the list of methods for whichever is the most effective even if it's morally dubious yippeee. like murder is still on the table. magically manipulating people's emotions is not the lowest she will go (though i do think she has lines she won't cross).

^it's honestly a very hunt-like approach to things but i think the philosophy behind the way she operates aligns more with destruction, but i won't go into that rn.

also i think it's funny to imagine her waiting in line and after 5 minutes she's like, okay but what if i knocked everyone out so we can- no? okay but i don't have to kill them ..

to conclude, i just think she's neat. it's so funny to me how learning she's also sam made my interest in her shoot up significantly. like it recontextualized everything about her. the more i think about her the more girl was so clearly raised in an environment that made sam through every action and line of dialogue and idk details like that makes me feral sldkjfls

P.S. i think the canon so far leans much more towards the firefly identity being who she truly wants to be and i think that's valid too but sam/firefly already became an oc the moment i said they're genderfluid enby so <in other words idc about my ideas adhering to canon. i just like to use what's in canon and go weeee

happy pride month!! >:3 (edit: this post probably doesn't seem like it's about my enby hcs of firefly but any post i make of her is genderqueer to me so)

[aho-dapa]

Just some rambles on The Stranger, and like, by no means am I saying I'm correct about my interpretation, I'm just exploring a different idea

*also, a personal note about death, grief, and parental abuse

Reading the Stranger rn and it's soooooo painfully idk obvious?? Or at least relatable that Meursault is autistic

Like, the book is from his pov but I honestly think his "lack" of emotion comes from his own nebulous understanding of them

He feels content while never saying it but acting it out, and he focuses on moments as if he's been struck by them but can't plainly state why

Tbh, idk, but being sentimental about it, Meursault (and how it's interpreted within him being an absurd character) kills for no reason.

Except there was, aside from the excuses of the knife or Meursault's mood. Its the sun. The sun that supposedly represents the meaninglessness of life and death as something inevitable but

Idk, I'd say to some extent, the sun is ambivalent to meaning, but that doesn't mean it doesn't help life grow or just as equally destroy it either

Rather, it's something that can't be moved by sentiment in this worldview and by extension, Meursault is blinded by the sun

Also just from a personal indulgence, I would say that Meursault's mother is the sun, and so is he too by some extent.

I've heard that people say the dog is his mother, but I also wonder if the dog is Meursault as well

"Why does Salamano treat his dog that way?"

And like, idk I think a lot of Meursault’s limited portrayal of emotion as he himself narrates it makes sense to me with the idea of it all connecting back to his mother

They are inseparable, the same, and they both meet their end

From the perspective of someone with not a great mother, this premise is relatable and maddening, it doesn't make sense, and like to be frank because I've been dancing around it because I feel like I'm projecting but,

With parental abuse and love, there is a sense of both chains and disattachment that honestly terrified me because it came from a place of 'this is how society expects you grieve' and I didn't, not in the way that's viewed as "acceptable" or "normal" either

Also, as someone who lost someone years ago, I didn't grieve by crying or being distraught for months because of it, I grieved by remembering and letting go

As a kid, I understood that my quiet was not what was expected, and kissing the cold forehead of someone I loved after they've died, I've resolved myself to never go to a funeral ever again

In some way, if Meursault’s mother was abusive, from the perspective of a child, these actions are absurd and don't make sense until kids try to either make a reason themselves or they are told

But also. Just coming from an autistic perspective, Meursault doing or not doing certain things at his mother’s funeral is categorized as him not caring for his mother (or at least enough) and like????? His actions have no relation really to his emotions

Idk, I just think I've read a lot of takes that Meursault is completely emotionless and that's like??? Idk, I don't agree at all

Also, I think Meursault's ambiguous relationships and nebulous emotions are the point tbh

(Which allows for literal interpretations like mine)

[tellerluna-stories]

hi, annie!

i honestly don't know where to start, but i'll just say that you have played a huge part during my adolescent years (⁠^⁠^⁠)

back in early-2023, i had stumbled across your blog, and honestly, you were one of my favorite anime/genshin writers !!i was always enthralled for your new posts and works, and i always anticipated your upcoming fics; which had helped me through my own journey when it came to writing !!

you might not be able to see this, and you're probably out there independently; presumably quitting writing, but i'll just say that if you ever had the chance to hop back here again and give us an update; please remember that everyone appreciates you and who you used to be >⁠.⁠<

this is only an appreciation post to you and i hope that one day, you can look back to the years you have spent with us and have a wonderful smile on your face !!

thank you so much for your writing, and i wish you the best in life 🫶

dear, dearest anon, where do I begin,,,,, I'm sorry for replying to this so late,,,,,,,

ok so by chance (hi moots!!!!!!! I'm alive!!!!!!!!!), I happened to log into this blog for old time's sake. I've never actually,, hold on I'm actually really emotional AHAHA I might cry anon I'm so serious rn. I really never expected someone to love my work enough to send in such a beautiful message in :((

you'll never understand how happy I am to hear that I was able to inspire you on your journey as a writer. and I'm still writing! I never stopped writing. I had to take a break for a while because life got busy — work is busy, and I have so many things crowding my mind 24/7 — but I hope you know I never stopped. I just didn't post it here bc I didn't feel confident in my work anymore, but I never stopped. I've branched out from writing too and kept polishing my creative talents since then :"))

thank you for sending this in, truly— you know, I have no words to express the overwhelming gratitude that I feel right now, only ugly sobbing HAHAHA.

also! if you'd let me, I'd really love to read your writing too! I can already tell from the way you wrote this message that your words are full of clear intent and care. after reading my work for so long, please let me have the honour of being your reader, too.

[bonesandthebees]

I keep doomscrolling twt I should really delete it again I think it is frying my brain ohmygod

It's just so easy to get sucked in and I don't know what else to do w this restless energy and just like. Anger and sadness that this situation is giving me

Normally I'm way better at just. Turning my phone off. But I think I'm just so hurt? By everything that I just keep getting sucked in by other people's anger too and I'm like. Never angry LMFAO I am never angry so idk what to do with these emotions if that makes sense

I also don't want to delete twt rn bc I'm like. So scared of new info coming out wout me knowing LMFAO even tho ik my friends will tell me but I just wanna be up to date so hhhh but yeah maybe I will. Just delete. So I don't doom spiral LMAO

no literally I spent practically the entire day just flipping between tumblr and twitter tumblr and twitter tumblr and twitter and quite literally felt my brain being fried

I had that same restless energy so I made myself sign up for a yoga class and went to it and honestly that helped so much. didn't look at my phone for an hour and just focused on my body and my breathing. I felt so much more relaxed afterwards. obviously not everyone can just go to a yoga class but I recommend finding something else to do. make yourself drive somewhere, or throw your phone across the room, or shut your phone off completely, just anything to try and get you out of it for a bit. honestly deleting twitter sounds like a great idea. I get the fear but it might be better to just bite the bullet to get yourself out of the loop

it's okay to be angry and upset right now we all are, but it's also so easy to get sucked into everyone else's anger as well. it creates this neverending feedback loop where you get angry and everyone else is angry and seeing them angry makes you more angry and just- it's not good

take care of yourself icy <33

[beesmygod]

every time i screencap something for positive discussion reasons, i have to specify its not to yell at or laugh at you but bc i have longer thoughts and/or think that you said good shit. first off thank you for the overwhelming financial and emotional support. everything sucks so bad right now for everyone and im unmedicated and feel like an asocial, unfunny clumps of cells that other people have to delicately carry through life rn. but it honestly feels so good to get feedback from someone reading closely who cares. seriously, for real.

i simply agree with you; and the vagueness of information is very much a product of being bad at comics for a long time (and now), being immensely frustrated by the amount of comics (or stories in general) that brought the action to a screeching halt so characters could talk about their feelings directly at the audience, and being uncertain about the amount of character drama people were willing to put up with back when my pitch for the comic was a simple "monster of the week" plot instead of a character drama/comedy about the mundaneness of death. so now, as an unfortunate side effect of all those things, i am slowly dipping my toes into blatant exposition and even during santiago's monologue about "hurt people hurt people" (lol) i was extremely concerned that it was too direct and would strain credulity in what the audience would be willing to sit and listen to one page at a time

im now playing with omniscient narration as well with these recent pages with valdo because it would simply take too long to cover everyone's backstory in full. im hoping this does not break things too much in terms of audience enjoyment and i spend a stupid amount of time agonizing over the information being told, not shown and if its hack work. but its webcomics so its all hack work, i guess. i am not yet at the level where i can communicate a character's thought process without directly explaining it. but i want to. some day. it takes lots of context, clarity of intent, and time i no longer have. i feel like i need to save my audience's patience for a single flashback chapter when lily, valdo and maxine finally explain what theyve been doing, and what they plan to rope everyone else into. which im worried will bore/turn off people looking for specific types of stories

[pseudowho]

hello there! i’ve been following you since the beginning of the year I think and absolutely LOVE your nanami fics (especially the papamin ones)

more of a personal ask: how did you manage to balance your time and stay motivated while doing your studies, growing your career, and having a family? it’s definitely possible (hello, you’re proof) but i sometimes feel overwhelmed with just my undergrad uni coursework.

as a fellow future healthcare worker (hopefully), I get bits of your life and am like omg she’s so smart and inspiring while also being like i am falling behind and should be doing so much more rn if I want to be this cool later in life 🙃. maybe it’s different since I’m across the pond in ‘merica but still, fellow overachiever here so what is rest and reasonable thinking? we don’t know her 😭

I'll be honest, my secret is...

💕✨ High-functioning anxiety, with perfectionism, a little dash of competitiveness, and a constant belief that I am not currently meeting my maximum potential, with the overwhelming sense of responsibility that the weight of making the lives of others around me better, is on my shoulders, because I'm strong and capable ✨💕

Get yourself a dose of that, my love (actually don't, the pressure is absolutely incredible, every day I feel like a failure).

Quite honestly, I'm extremely hard on myself. It makes me burn the emotional candle at both ends if I'm not careful, and I struggle to rest. It takes a lot for me to burn out, but when I do, I burn out like a firework.

Listen, I am one for pushing yourself to be the best that you can be. I would never expect you to damage yourself in the process though. You will have good days, where you can do everything and more, and bad days, where you struggle to do the bare basics. That's fine, and healthy, and okay.

I wouldn't put me on a pedestal. While I'm extremely productive, I will probably die young of stress-related causes. You should focus on your Uni work, without any side-pressures; you'll probably find the Uni work less overwhelming when you're not thinking of all the vicarious side-pressures that you're 'not achieving'.

Between the ages of 21 and 30, I got married, I had three babies, climbed my career ladder while my husband climbed his (and with little to no childcare, just being ships in the night), had a Higuruma-grade burnout meltdown, and started writing for the first time. Not a scrap of my twenties went untouched.

It's too much, I'll be honest.

So...don't aspire to be like me. Take it slowly. None of the things you can achieve come without effort, or quickly. But by the time you turn 30 and look back on your twenties, you will almost certainly have come so, so much further.

Love, as always, and you're doing so well.

-- Haitch xxx