#on the edge on whether I will share it rn might keep that on the backburner a bit

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I wonder what it is about Instagram that intimidates me so much. Especially in regards to posting artwork or utilizing any form of interaction on there. The whole site just feels completely exhausting, overstimulating, and not to mention arduous. More and more, I feel less and less good every time I open that app, which kind of sucks because I feel like it is kind of the most obligatory platform in order to stay connected with most people, especially at an industry level, if that makes sense. It just is so unenjoyable to me. Even though I mostly just follow artists whose work I enjoy and support. Am I alone in feeling like instagram just kind of sucks?

[syndxlla]

Saw your 'corruption' ZeLink fantasy and felt I should share what I would love to use it for if I had the writing skills. So... while reading, I thought of how some people are of the HC (myself included!) that every Game!Zelda is Hylia reborn just as she had been in SS but people In Universe think that's naught but fanciful stories, that Hylia Ascended into Divinity once more after her SS!life ended. Now, for my version of your Zelink 'corruption' fantasy I think that Link is very much aware and fully believes such 'stories', (maybe through Fi or his dreams or just a sort of sixth sense or because of his being The Hero or however else one can reason it out) so when Zelda's trying so hard to be 'pure as the Goddess' as the various factions of clergy tell her she should be he's like, 'fuck that.'

He's of the opinion that she doesn't need to be 'pure' as those of Mortal ken would describe it, but that she needs to be 'pure' to Herself as She is. A Goddess. To be worshipped, not to worship. Especially towards a replacement/false idol since they do not remember Her as She once was before Time made Mortals forget that She walks among them as Her own descendant when Demise's Curse rears its head once more.

So he teaches her in a sort of reverse psychology way. He bugs and bugs and bugs (maybe leaving some books on her desk that she'd never find in the Royal Library 'cause they were 'immoral', 'disgusting', or that whoever enjoyed such {whether reading about it or performing it} are 'abnormal' and/or 'heathens', maybe he does one thing or another that she should be punishing him for but isn't because she's 'practicing charity/turning the other cheek' as the clergy taught her the Goddess would want her to do, maybe teasing her and saying something along the lines of, "Oh, dear. Are you frustrated? Tsk, darn. If only my Goddess would command me to finish what I started. Too bad she doesn't seem to be listening.") until she finally finds it in herself to take charge as his Mistress, his Princess, his Goddess. He was her Servant, her Appointed Knight, her Hero. So it is time for him to repent his blasphemy by learning at her feet to stand unless she bids him bend the knee or face punishment. (Orgasm denial? Overstimulation? Edging? Humiliation? Training him to the point he can only orgasm with her 'help?) He should be answering to her and her alone; kneeling to no one but her. And that includes her father!

This might even be the type of AU that involves her then 'unlocking her power' (one could even have it be that she then uses her power in creative ways when she's playing with her hero; justifying it as 'for science!') but she then keeps quiet about it as validation that everyone around her telling her what to do was wrong and a bit of vindictiveness because 'she's found her worth in herself with her hero's help and love and support so why should she go looking for it with those who tried so hard to knock her down for so long? She'll do her duty when it's time but for now? Let them sweat it out, the bastards.'

What do you think? Do you like my addition to your Zelink 'corruption' fantasy or...?

FOAMING at the mouth rn.

I love female worship okay, the orgasm training is kind of what i was going for in my original post when i talked about them getting turned on when they would pray because they were trained to associate those prayers with the sexual touch of the other.

I also LOVEEEE inappropriate uses of magic (when i was in my star wars era, inappropriate use of the force was my FAVE). and i love the potential of Zelda unlocking her power and using it on Link unexpectedly (lowkey in cnc area, but not in a toxic way haha), or even better Link using his totk right arm to mess with zelda (i reblogged some art of this), even though i know i’m zelda canon the latter couldn’t happen.

REGARDLESS i am OBSESSED with corruption zelink rn and WILL be writing a short fanfic for it! But i wanna finish my current fic ‘best friends’ first!

Zelink smut go brrrrrr

[tatorthots]

— why they fell for you

featured: Getō Suguru, Ryomen Sukuna, Gojō Satoru x gn!reader

cw: Suggestive Content, Slight Spoliers?

a/n: not me researching Geto to learn more about his character just to watch 2 yt videos, read through his whole fan wiki and go through Reddit tags just so I can spoil his whole arc for myself ahhhhhhhh crying and throwing up rn

Part 2

GETO

You Contradict Him.

You contradicted Geto in almost everything. Where he was kind and compassionate - you were ruthless and merciless. Where he was cruel and cold-blooded - you were warm and sympathetic. Though the both of you did share a common ideal; to kill those who taint the purity of a benevolent world. You posed as something of a paradox to the disgraced sorcerer, often keeping him on edge as his calculating eyes stayed focused on you. He fell in love with your passion and kindhearted nature, for your strength and perseverance; the man didn’t fail to note the protectiveness you held for his ‘family’ as well. Initially, he wanted to use you for his own gain, he wanted to make your curse power his. But when the time came to challenge you, all he saw was the soft smile adorning your lips as you held Mimiko and Nanako in your embrace. Geto fell in love with you because you reminded him of himself before he fell to the demise of his ideals, you made him feel humane when others would’ve cursed him for his actions.

SUKUNA

You Wouldn’t Hesitate To Kill Him.

This sadistic Curse King loves the type of lover who would actually just kill him. Whether you can even land any serious injury on him doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that you don’t flinch in fear when he threatens to kill you that makes him go feral - even more so when you challenge him to do so. You’d have to be a rather formidable opponent for Sukuna to acknowledge you, let alone, claim you as his. You’re tactical, cautious, powerful, and fierce - all traits he values. Even when he has his teeth sunk into you, thrusting deeply into your core as he marks and bruises your lush skin, he knows you have a weapon hidden underneath the pillowcase; and if he’s being honest? it only turns him on even more. He’s merciless and possessive - if you ask him, you’re nothing more than a toy. You know better though, you know what it means when he caresses your cheek as you drift off to sleep, you pick up on the protective stance he takes whenever he feels you might be in danger. Of course he knows, you know what it means; after all, he isn’t foolish enough to underestimate your intellect.

GOjŌ

You See Him.

Gojō has a very nonchalant and playful personality, eccentric and flamboyant in all the things he does - yet, somehow, you managed to see through his persona and into the cracks of his character. You saw his arrogance, his apathy towards those he deems weak, his desire for power, and his bloodlust to be the best. You saw it all and you embraced it, you embraced him.  You were an enigma to him, a puzzle he couldn’t seem to solve - it was addicting. Even when he tried to charm you to submission, you would throw it right back; your nimble fingers guiding his chin down to face you, a small smirk on your lips as you pressed your body to his - by the end of it, it was him who was left flustered and yearning. But perhaps what really made him fall in love was the unhinged glint in your eye as you tore the special grade curse before you limb from limb, did he know you could’ve easily killed it in one motion? Of course he did. He acknowledged your smooth and sharp edges just as you did him - the fundamentals. He loved the challenges you posed him, he loved your wittiness, your carefree nature, and your raw power. You made him feel human. Gojo loves you because you love him in his entirety, and not the idea of him.

[rawbins-undertale-blog]

hey there again!!!

might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?

if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.

if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!

thank you, have a chill day/night B)

- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)

*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))

I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^

Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)

UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Red (Underfell Sans):

He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?

Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job

Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better

Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol

Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.

If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol

If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk

This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.

With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares

(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)

WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)

Edge (Underfell Papyrus):

Oh no. Oh no.

Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol

He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!

If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.

If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.

However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.

When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.

It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.

All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.

For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.

Dusk (Horrortale Sans):

If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.

Dusk knows how fragile the human body can  be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.

Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.

He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.

If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.

He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.

(He’d dust, probably.)

If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)

Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.

When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.

Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):

Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.

You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.

He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.

Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.

If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.

When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.

[zaikaglow]

Queens of The Court

Pairing: Hitch x Reader, mentions of Ymir x Reader, brief Eren x Reader

Synopsis: After the girl you almost dated Ymir starts dating Historia and breaks your heart you can’t get your head back in the game. A handsome boy from the baseball team offers to help you get your mind off of things, but maybe the actual solution has been under your nose the whole time.

Content: Oral (f giving and receiving, brief m giving f receiving). mention of m x f sex, but the only explicate content is between two women. Slight angst.

The ball you sent flying bounces on the other side of the tennis court and starts to roll into the adjourning court while Hitch goes running after it. “Hitch what the fuck you could have hit that if you payed attention for once in your life” you say frustrated. It was really starting to annoy you the way that Hitch would be so zoned out that she wouldn’t even notice that the ball had been served until it was far too late and she was swinging her racket at nothing. Pieck has her racket pinched between her knees as she focuses on re-tying her ponytail “Come on y/n calm down you and Ymir are the first string me and Hitch are just here as backup” at this laid back remark Ymir decides to pipe up, racket up on her shoulder she struts up to the net. “Well how do you expect me and y/n to be able to keep winning tournaments if we only get to practice with you two space cadets”. Hitch is finally back from retrieving the ball wines “come on were doing our best”! Pieck lets out a small chuckle “come on Hitch even I don't believe that”. “Whatever it’s 8 o’clock the courts closing soon and I need to go pick up Historia from practice lets go” 

You and Ymir start to head back to the locker room together and you can’t help but to think back to the times before Historia. After doubles practice when Hitch and Pieck would go off to share a joint and leer at the baseball team from the bleacher you and Ymir would play each other 1 on 1, relishing the extra time together. At first it started off as a competition. Sure you two were the best doubles team but who was the best player? The first night you broke the barriers of physical contact was when you insisted that Ymir’s serve was out and her insisting it was in, until she had you backed against the chainlink “you know maybe if you put the same amount of energy you use arguing to work on improving your serves it might have actually have been in” you chided. “Shut up” Ymir responded, “why don't you make me” were your final words before her lips came crashing down on yours, her hands against your face. From then on it was your routine, after doubles play individually and always with a bet. Maybe the loser would go down on the winner, or maybe they’d be the one to wash down the winner in the locker room showers. You two never officially dated but you loved Ymir and thought of her as your girlfriend. That was until Historia. You remember how stupid you felt the day you had won your game against the opposing school and back in the locker room you had laced your fingers through her hair to pull her in for a kiss when she placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you “actually I started seeing someone. We’re still good as friends, we just can't keep doing the physical stuff okay”? God “the physical stuff” was that all this was to her? Your heart felt like it was being split in two and how could it not? You were in love with her and you thought she had felt the same, that the unspoken bond was what made it even more romantic. But turns out Ymir didn’t see things the same way, she thought you were just friends who happened to fuck. And now your plays were starting to suffer, too distracted by the heart ache. Sometimes getting distracted by the way Ymir’s hands grip the racket and your mind starting to wonder if she brushed her thumb along Historia’s cheek before kissing her the same way she used to do to you. Maybe that’s why you were so hard on Hitch for her spacing out, it's always easier to pick apart your flaws in other people instead of facing them yourself. As Ymir heads to the gym to go grab Historia from practice you decide to head over to the baseball field. Maybe hanging out with those two stoners would be better than going back home alone.

Pieck has the stupidest smile on her face when she passes you the joint, you taking it between your pointer and middle finger about to take a drag when you hear his grating voice “Heeeyyy y/n”. God it’s fucking Eren Jaeger, and he’s walking over baseball bat slung over his shoulders and you look away trying to avoid eye contact “Hello ladies, oh come on y/n don’t ignore me even in person” you take a drag of the joint before answering “hey Eren you ever think maybe there's a reason I never answered your text from 4 months ago” the boys eyebrows furl in concern “Oh come on you can’t still be mad about that group project! I said I was sorry and I was just asking you to dinner to apologize, you didn’t have to ignore me for 4 months”. Hitch doesn’t look like her cheery self, elbows on her knees and her fists supporting her pouting face “come on Eren you think you’d get the hint after 4 months, she’s. Not. interested.”. You pass the joint back to Pieck when suddenly you get an idea, still not daring to meet his teal eyes you say “Eren me and Ymir are playing tennis tomorrow why don’t you stop around 5 and pick me up”. Eren’s face lights up in excitement while Hitch and Pieck seem taken aback by you suddenly asking the guy you've blown off for the past 4 months to come hang out. Eren lets out a small chuckle “you two still practice on a Saturday”? “That’s why me and Ymir are so good, we apply ourselves. Hitch and Pieck could be too but they don't. Anyways are you coming or not” you say  “Oh I’ll be there hot stuff, I’ll be there.” he says while strutting back off to the rest of the team in the dugout. “Hey I can apply myself” Hitch practically yells, you can't tell whether that remark was for you or for Eren.

Your game against Ymir is not going in your favor, you know you can play better than you are but she brought Historia with her to watch and it's too distracting. Staring at her and wondering what she has that you didn’t, why Ymir could fall in love with her but not you. It’s a big surprise but you’re actually relieved when Eren shows up so you can end the game. Once on the court Eren makes his way over to you wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him, Ymir who has her tennis bag in one hand, the other holding Historia’s looks over at the two of you eyes crinkling into a smile “hey I didn’t know you were with someone, I’m really happy for you y/n”! And with that she turns and starts to walk away like she didn’t just tear your heart apart with her smile. She was genuinely happy for you, there were no hints of jealousy, maybe she was just relieved that you found someone and that possibly your game would finally improve and stop being pissy about her being with someone. You grab your bag tighter and start making your way down to the locker room right out of Eren’s arm while he starts jogging after you “I’ll be out in a second I just need to change” you say fighting back the tears that were starting to prick at the corners of your eyes. Instead of actually getting changed you lay back against the cold lockers before sliding down to the ground and burying your head in your arms that rest on your knees when suddenly you hear “so were you fucking her or something”? Your head snaps up “Eren what the fuck are you doing in here. This is the women’s locker room". He just chuckles at you before offering you a hand “it's Saturday, no one else is in here drama queen”. You wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand now afraid he’ll notice your tears not that your upright “what does it matter Eren”. He places his hands against the lockers right next to your hips before leaning in and you feel his hot breath fan across your face and his nose brush your cheek “do you want me to help you forget her”? You feel his hand snake down under your skirt running up your thighs until he reaches the top band and tries to pull down but your clothes stay in place. “It’s a tennis skirt dumbass the shorts are attached” you side step your way under his arms out of his grasp before starting to head back out of the locker room “besides like I’d ever let you fuck me here at least take me back to your room or something”. Eren starts to jog to keep up “hey I know how tennis skirts work”!

Eren’s dorm was painfully college boy-esque. Air fresheners littered along windowsills and desk an attempt to hide the boy BO and by the dirty bong on the desk, weed. You sit down on the edge of the bed pushing away a dirty tee-shirt with your pinky when Eren takes a seat on the floor between your knees ``okay baby girl I’m gonna make you forget aallll about that little tennis partner of yours”. He places a wet kiss to the side of your knee before using the first two fingers on each hand to dip beneath the waistband of your skirt before pulling it down. You lay back in the bed as you feel him kiss your inside thigh before finally making contact with your core, and oh god what the hell is he doing? He’s spelling out the alphabet, you're not too terribly surprised “not shocked just disappointed” would sum it up. He’s hot so of course he probably has tons of girls who faked ecstasy just because they were so excited to have Jaeger between their legs. But after Ymir? No way this comes close, b, a, s, e, oh he finished the alphabet so he’s moving onto random words now “baseball”? Real creative dumbass. Bored as hell you can't help but to pull out your phone.

To: Sub 1

What are you doing rn?

Movie night with Pieck! You should come join us!!! : )

K, going to shower and then be up.

Eren pulls away surprised when you sit up and start to pull your skirt back up “hey babe, what's wrong”? He gives you those stupid puppy dog eyes. “You're bad at this i'm bored” you utter grabbing your tennis bag and heading back to the door. You’re halfway down the hall when you see him standing in the door frame hardon visible through his boxers when he says “come on y/n I'm better with my dick dont you even wanna see”.

After making it back to your dorm and taking a quick shower you head up to the next floor and give a knock on the door adorned with cute little construction paper cactuses labels “Pieck” and “Hitch”. Hitch opens the door with a big smile, her eyes crinkling at the corner. You can't help but notice the white tank top wearing she’s wearing is slightly see through and the way her nipples push against the fabric, and boy can you feel them too when she pulls you into a hug and her breast squish against you. Pieck is laying down on the bed blowing the smoke from a joint out a window fan they turned around so it blows out the window instead of in. She smirks when she sees the way your face goes blank at how Hitch is nuzzling her head against you “hey y/n want some”?  You give a nob before heading over to the bed arm around Hitch guiding her back with you. A couple drags later and you're not even paying attention to the movie. Instead the weed has heightened your senses and it feels intense the way that Hitch is running her delicate little fingers up and down your arms. Pieck who’s been stealing glances at you two occasionally takes her phone out of her pajama shorts and says “oh hey I just got a text from Pock asking me to spend the night, I’m going to head over. You know how I like to sleep in, in the morning so y/n feel free to stay till wherever” she gives a wink as she saunters out the room. Hitch is semi laying back on the pillows and starts to giggle once Pieck is out the door. “What are you laughing about” you say as you sit up from the other end of the bed. Hitch’s face turns a bright red “nothing i'm not laughing about anything”. God you don’t know what it is about her right now but the way she short hair is kinda messy from rolling against the pillows or what a tease she looks like nipples poking through that see through tank top and her ass practically hanging out the bottom of those short shorts but you can’t help what comes over you. On your hands and knees you start to crawl towards her, green eyes widening as she watches you stalk towards her like a predator. Until you’re over her hands placed just under her armpits, your knees against the sides of her hips. You move one hand up to her jaw brushing your thumb over her lips “I said what are you laughing about ''. You don’t even give her a chance to answer before you crash your lips against hers, a small mewl escaping her lips at the contact. You move your hand from her face down to her side fingers running over her ribs. She sighs and leans into your touch, at her receptiveness you go ahead and move your hand up to her breast kneading the soft tissue between your fingers. When she starts to rub her thighs together you go ahead and practically rip that little tank top off her and latch your lips onto her nipple. One hand still gently squeezes her other breast thumb rubbing small circles around her perked up little nipple, on the other you have your tongue flicking, rolling, and sucking against her. Her hands go to your shoulders squeezing harder each time you pull off her nipple with a pop before going back. You plant a kiss to her sternum moving down her torso nipping at her belly button before continuing down and pulling her shorts off. She’s so beautiful. Her plump bottom lip between her teeth as her perky breast moving up and down with her excited breathing, her pubic hair is the same sandy blonde as her head and she’s practically glistening at her core. Spreading her legs apart you lay your head against her thigh and look into her eyes as you slide your pointer and ring finger inside of her. You can’t help but chuckle at just how wet she already is and how she’s clenching around your fingers, her hands gripping the sheets. You turn your head slightly as kiss her thigh as your drag your fingers in and out watching her face contorted in pleasure as she whimpers “use your words tell me what you want” she practically pants out “your tongue I want your tongue” and she's so sweet how can you not indulge her? You start to curl your fingers up as you give her puffy clit a kiss before starting to lap at it with the flat of your tongue. It’s driving you crazy the way her tits bounce with the thrust of your fingers and how she’s grinding her hips down against your fingers. Your other hand goes to play with her tits as you feel her flutter around you as she reaches her release, your tongue still spinning around her clit to ease her though the orgasm. “Mm too much” she mutters out pushing against your head. You sit back up admiring the fucked out look on pretty little Hitch all thanks to you. She sits up on her hands and knees giving you a soft smile “wanna make you feel good now” she says crawling into your lap, peppering kisses down your neck stopping to suck on your collar bone. You pull her head back “no hickies” you say bopping your pointer finger against her nose playfully. She giggles before ducking her head down to your waist pushing your PJ shirt up to access your nipples. She’s rougher than you were and you can feel her teeth nipping as she grabs you by your waist keeping you pulled close to her. When you give a little yelp when she uses a little too much teeth she pulls away giggling again as she pushes you down. “You know everytime you’d bend over for the ball” another giggle “I’d imagine what your pussy would look like”. You finish taking off the rest of your clothes for her and spread your legs when you reply with a teasing “so what do you think then?”. She licks her lips “even more beautiful than I could imagine” she says head moving down between your legs to lick up your folds before latching onto your clit. Hitch was an enthusiastic lover and you two went back and forth until it was late and you two were boarding on overstimulation. After laying down next to each other you get up and start to put your clothes back on. Hitch grabs your arm “hey, don't you wanna sleep over”. You just continue to put your clothes back on saying “ I don’t know if that's a good idea, I had fun though”. You get up and give her a kiss on the forehead before heading out and you can't bear to look her in the eyes because you can just feel the sadness radiating off of her. 

Back in your own bed you hug your knees to your chest trying to get rid of the hole in the pit of your stomach. You did like Hitch, she was sweet and god was she good in bed but come on she’s not someone you can rely on. This is Hitch! Hitch who once missed a game because she slept in too late after a party, Hitch who sometimes just forgot about practice. There was a reason she was on your phone as “sub 1” . You were afraid of getting attached to someone like her. Especially after the number Ymir did on you. You needed someone who you knew would be there, someone who won’t let you down. Your heart couldn't take another break but also you couldn't help but feel guilty for not even giving her the chance. To take your mind off of things you decide to get up early to go practice against the backboard.

It's 7am on a Saturday and you think you’ll be alone so you’re surprised when you hear the familiar sound of the tennis ball bouncing against the back bored and your heart sinks. Who else would be here at 7am besides Ymir, but you're surprised when you turn the corner and see Hitch. She’s painting and sweaty so its obvious shes been here for a while, when she misses the ball and stops to pull another out from her shorts you say “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here” she looks down and that pang of guilt comes back to your chest. She makes her way over to the fence where you are “Well you’re always talking about how I don’t apply myself and I thought that maybe if I tried harder in tennis you’d see something worthy in me” tears are starting to form in her eyes “I just imagined maybe you’d see me actually win a game or something. Not just see me still sucking against a wall”. You put your hands up to where her fingers were poking through the chain link and place your hands over her’s. “Hitch” she perks up to meet your eyes “do you want to go on like an actual date” her lips part in surprise at your words. “Also why don’t you see if Pieck’ll sleep over at Pocks again, this time I’ll stay the night”. She’s really beautiful when she smiles “yeah I’d like that”.

[arhvste]

TSUKISHIMA KEI - INSUFFERABLE AND IMPOSSIBLE

requested by jaceyandme on wattpad

summary - after spending more time with a classmate, tsukishima finds himself caring more than what he’d like leading to you both reaching your limits - angst

warnings - cursing

an - i might do a part 2 i really wanna. this is also kinda rushed i’m kinda under time pressure rn so i might improve later or go into more depth in a later part

Your usual routine in the morning would be to get ready, meet your boyfriend outside your house, walk to school together (Wednesdays and Fridays Yamaguchi would join the two of you), change your shoes at your lockers and finally say your short goodbyes as you both departed to your separate classes. That was how things usually ran.

Not for the past two weeks however.

Tsukishima was a man of routine. He liked things to be in order and found satisfaction in things fitting in place, the fact that the usual routine the pair of you shared had been broken recently did not sit well with him and he knew exactly who was the ultimate cause of it.

Hara Itsuki.

His teeth would grit whenever he heard that name, a discreet but stewing anger would boil inside him and it didn’t help that sometimes you were oblivious to the middle blockers change in demeanor.

In your defense though you sometimes found Tsukishima hard to read. He was a sarcastic piece of shit with a tongue too sharp for his own good. It wasn’t rare for your boyfriend to take a hit at people out of nowhere. Tsukishima wasn’t the type to openly express genuine emotions either so it would’ve been hard to pick out his particular distaste towards Hara.

Hara Itsuki was a boy in your class who had recently come to ask for your assistance in literature. You, being the kind and helpful girl you were raised to be, agreed to help him after school while your boyfriend would be at practise.

You hadn’t intended to spend time with your classmate outside of the one hour after school you tutored him in, but the more you spoke with the boy, the more you found you had in common and found him easy to confide in.

At first Tsukishima didn’t care about your new friendship with your classmate, he wasn’t insecure or bothered by it and it’s not like he had any valid point to argue against it at first, but those one hour tutor sessions became 2 hour meet ups after school and a few lunchtimes a week you would be missing from your regular spot at your usual table as you would be eating elsewhere with your new friend.

This began to raise concern with Tsukishima but his pride wouldn’t allow him to confront you just yet at least.

It wasn’t until 4 weeks into your sudden new bond with Hara, Tsukishima felt himself edge towards the end of his relatively thin patience. The two of you rarely spoke due to Tsukishima’s everlasting bad mood and when you did speak, all you’d talk about is how great this Hara Itsuki was and quite frankly, the middle blocker would rather rip his own ears off than listen to what you’d have to say about this boy.

Yamaguchi would sometimes bring up your absence of late but it would always end in Tsukishima telling him to “Shut up.” and the boy would comply.

It wasn’t just Yamaguchi who noticed the effect your absence had on your boyfriend. The rest of the volleyball team noticed the tall middle blocker had become more hostile and cold towards everyone. Rarely talking to anyone and snapping at them when he did. Kageyama and Hinata made mental notes to keep out of his way for the time being and hold back on the provocative comments and snide remarks.

“Tsukishima, are you -uh, well you know -”

“Spit it out already.” The middle blocker spat.

“Are you missing Y/N?”

Everyone in the gym went silent. Tanaka took a step back from Tsukishima once he saw the look in his eye from his question.

“What sort of question is that? I couldn’t care less about the girl and who she's hoeing about with.”

The team stood wide eyed not sure on how to respond to such hostility.

Sugawara took it upon himself to attempt to diffuse the heavy tension in the air.

“Hey, If Tsukishima-san says he’s fine then we should just take his word for it and let it be.”

“But he’s obviously not fine. His blocking has been off and he’s not as observant on the court like he usually is. Quite frankly it’s annoying he can’t get it together, if we were playing in real matches right now we’d be thrashed within the first set because he can’t get a grip.”

All eyes turned to Kageyama. In truth, Kageyama had only said what was on his and potentially most of the team’s mind. The genius setter held a glare towards his teammate as he awaited a reply for his blunt comment.

“Sorry not all of us are fucking geniuses with no emotion. I don’t want to hear anything from you when your middle school teammates didn’t even want to play with you because of how selfish and obsessed you were. If Y/N wants to be a whore that’s fine I’ll deal with it myself, but I don't need any of you nosy imbeciles invading into my personal life!”

Tsukishima’s patience had finally snapped and nobody dared speak a word.

“I think we should call it a night. This isn’t a good atmosphere to be training in and I think we all need to clear our heads.” Daichi spoke up as both Asahi and Sugawara nodded.

The gym was cleared in silence and the team began to slowly disperse out the gym.

“Hang on a minute Tsukishima. I think we should have a quick chat.”

Tsukishima mentally cursed but approached Daichi anyway. Who was he to deny his captain and upperclassman’s request.

The two were the only ones left in the gym and Daichi patted the bench next to the court as they sat down.

“Listen, I know you’re going through a rough patch with your girlfriend right now and I’m by no means trying to invade or involve myself into your personal life but, from what we witnessed tonight it’s clear to me that it seems to be affecting the teams dynamic and that is my concern.”

Tsukishima couldn’t quite find the right words to respond to Daichi. It’s not like he could pull out a snarky remark about how he didn’t care about his girlfriends actions because deep down he knew he did in fact care and apparently more so than what he led himself on to believe.

“I’m not telling you what to do. Only you can decide how to handle the situation but I advise talking to L/N about how you’re really feeling. I know you’re not the most expressive person, but I also know that you do have a genuine concern for others whether you show it blatantly or not. Talk to her so you can both figure this out. I’m not just saying this for the best interest I have for our team but rather my best interest in you. Regardless if you want it, myself and all the others are concerned for you and want you to feel like you can rely on us.”

“Yeah. I’ll have a chat with her tonight.” The middle blocker stared at the ground as he began to rise from the seat. “I’ll have a think about everything.”

Daichi gave the first year a soft smile and patted his back.

“Good. Nobody’s mad at you, we’re just worried. Even Kageyama.”

To this Tsukishima snorted. “Whatever you say.”

“The kid’s blunt but he does care about you in his own way.”

After Daichi finished locking the gym up, both players said their respective goodbyes and went their separate ways.

Tsukishima made his way home but was stopped by the sight of you and Hara talking and laughing outside the school gates. Just from having that pep talk from Daichi was enough to encourage him to finally confront you. Not because he cared but for the greater good of the team, well that’s what he told himself anyway.

“Oh hi Kei...”

You nervously smiled at your boyfriend's irked expression.

“Oh so you do remember my name?” he sharply hissed at you.

Tsukishima had initially intended to have a civil conversation between the two of you, but seeing that bastard Hara standing there with a smug expression fuelled his hostility towards the whole situation.

“W-what? Of course I remember your name! You’re my boyfriend!” You replied as you fidgeted under his intense stare.

“Oh am I? Because from the way I see it, this loser over here seems to be your boyfriend rather than me.”

“What are you talking about?!”

“Don’t play clueless with me Y/N! If you wanted a side hoe you could’ve just said so and we wouldn’t have wasted time!”

“Side hoe?”

“Yes side hoe! And if you’re degrading me to second best to that thing -” Tsukishima pointed to where the now uncomfortable Hara stood . “- then I don’t want any association with you!”

“You’re insufferable!”

“And you’re impossible!”

Tears began to pool in your eyes as your anger began to flare.

“You know why I spend so much time with Hara-san? I’ll tell you why. He isn’t rude, obnoxious or judgemental. He is always considerate and never brings people down with snide comments and unnecessary insults. I love you Tsukishima, I really do, but right now you’re showing a perfect example of what I’m talking about.”

“If you really loved me we wouldn’t be having this argument. If you really loved me my team wouldn’t have to point out my lack of focus recently. If you really loved me you would’ve just told me the things about me that bother you so much. But none of that has played out has it? So tell me Y/N, do you really love me or am I just a test subject for you to use and compare to other people before you decide to settle down?”

You were in shock. You knew you were spending an increased amount of time with Hara but you didn’t know how big the effect was on Tsukishima.

“Uh, I’m gonna go.” Hara said suddenly as he began to turn to walk away.

“No you’re not. While Y/N is busy thinking about whether she really loves me or if that was just shit pouring out of her mouth, you’re going to tell me what exactly was running through your head approaching a girl who obviously is in a relationship.”

“For literature, I needed help.”

“And you got it. So why are you still hanging around her like some lost puppy?”

You finally had enough. Snapping your gaze up to Tsukishima you gave him a deadly glare.

“Will you shut up? Questioning my love for you like I’m some sort of slut who tests the water with every boy. I have never ever once complained about any girls approaching you to confess their love for you. I’ve never once stepped out of line. I’ve always supported you Kei.”

“Dont ‘Kei’ me L/N. You have no right to complain about the confessions I get because I turned each and every one of them down and for you. I know I was genuine to you but it was clearly not reciprocated. You’ve wasted enough of my time I’m fucking done. Messing up my performance in volleyball and making me look stupid, I’m done with you L/N, go have fun comparing Hara to other boys when you’re done trying him out.”

And with that Tsukishima turned around and stormed off out the gates.

You stood there speechless. You knew Tsukishima could be cold and make uncalled for remarks but this hurt. Him denying your feelings and calling you out to be like some sort of whore.

Hara wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his chest.

“Hey it’s gonna be okay. You deserve better than that four eyed loser anyway Y/N.”

You didn’t particularly want to be comforted by Hara right now. In fact you wanted to be away from the boy who had contributed in homewrecking your first real relationship whether that was his intention or not but, you also didn’t have the physical or mental strength to push him away just yet. You needed someone and Hara just happened to be there.”

Sniffling into his chest you nodded slightly as you wondered if Tsukishima was upset or if this whole break up had no effect on him. You thought the latter as your anger towards him grew.

“He probably doesn’t give a shit anyways. It’s not like he can’t have a replacement for me by now anyways. He probably does have a girl waiting on the side for him as we speak.” You snarled as Hara pulled you closer to him.

“Probably, what a man whore. He doesn’t deserve you Y/N.”

You walked home with Hara that night trying to take your mind off of what had happened. The thought of Tsukishima not being bothered or phased by the break up lingered at the back of your head though.

What you were unaware of was that Tsukishima had immediately let his tears fall as soon as he reached the safety of his own room, and rather than watching dinosaur documentaries or studying, he spent the whole night in his room silently sobbing and wishing he could turn back time. He had loved you in his own way and would’ve worked on improving his snarkiness for the sake of you if only you had brought it up to him. But you didn’t and for that, Tsukishima stayed up all night tear stained wondering if you had ever really loved him the way he loved you.

part 2

[andrcs]

hey  friends  waddup  !  i’m  jen  ,  just  turned  23  (  n  am  already  feelin  it  )  ,  from  the  gmt-2  tmz  ,  n  i  go  by  she/her  pronouns  .  i  had  about  ,  like  ,  half  an  hour  of  sleep  today n  i’m  actually  redoing  this  entire  intro  because  as   i  was  editing  the  finished  version  to  post  it  ,  i  accidentally  deleted  the  whole  thing  n  tumblr  wouldnt  let  me  have  it  back !  it’s  fine  i’m  fine   :-)  anywho  i’m  gonna  let  yall  go  n  learn a  lil  more  about  our  friend  andre !  hopefully  u  like  him  but  if  u  don’t  thats  ok  bc  sometimes i don’t  either !!

𝐈.    𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒  :

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞   :   andre  harris  solomon  .

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞   :   n/a  .

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲   :   august  fourth  ,  1991  .

𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧   :   leo  .

𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧   :  cco  of  solo  conglomerate  .

𝐈𝐈.   𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃  :

during  the  solomon’s  dynasty  ,   the  family  had  its  fair  share  of  tumbles  and  quite  a  few  scandals  .  great  uncle  abel being  arrested  after  trying  to  steal  half  his  brother’s  fortune  was  one   was  a  big  example .  may  god  bless  the traitous  bastard’s  soul  .  also  cousin  denzel  ,  declaring   in  the  middle  of  thanksgiving  dinner  he  wanted  to  be  a  opera  singer  ,  of  all  fucking  things  ,  and  giving grandpa  harrison  an  almost  stroke  ,  could  be  counted  .  no  matter  what  ,  though  ,  nothing  prepared  the  family  to  watch  the  solomon  fortune’s  heiress  coming  home  on  her  christmas  break  during  her  freshman  year  in  college  with  a  baby  bump  and  no  father  to  claim  the  child  she  carried  . 

in  the  following  years  ,  with  the  slightly  judgemental  help  of  all  of  her  closest  relatives  ,  but  most  of  all  ,  the  never  ending  support  of  her  parents  ,  gaia  solomon  managed  not  only  to  get  her  college  diploma  ,  enter  the  family  business   and  help  solo  grow  into  the  biggest  media  conglomerate  of  the  western  hemisphere  ,  one  that  had  a  solid  hand  over  pretty  much  all  aspects  of  media  and  entertainment  .  chances  are  if  you  wanted  to  publish  or  sign  a  record  label  deal  or  be  on  a  tv  show  ,  sooner  or  later  you  would  encounter  someone  from  solo  .  but   she  had  also  manage  to  raise  with  the  utmost  love  and  care  ,  no  lack  of  sacrifices  ,  and  a  healthy  amount  of  ear-pulling  ,  a  man  she  can’t  help  to  be  most  proud  of  .

andre  solomon  never  knew  who  his  father  was  ,  or  cared  to .  and  as  far  as  his  mother  was  concerned  ,  he  didn’t  have  a  father .  as  a  child  ,  he  never  felt  like  he  was  missing  anything  in  life  ,  there  was  no  angry  void  aching  to  be  filled  ,  no  painful  moments  to  remember  his  childhood  by  .  he  had  been  happy .   no  matter  how  busy  his  mom  was  ,  she  was  always  loving  and  attentive  whenever she  was  around  ,  played  baseball and  football  and  soccer  with  him  whenever  he  asked  her  to  ,  and  grandpa  harrison  was  always  available  if  the  boy  ever  needed  a  guy  figure  in  his  life .  of  course  ,  there  were  some  bumps  and  bruises  along  the  way  ,  and  a  pinky  finger  he  never  fully  got  the  feeling  back  , but  it  was  a  beautiful  ,  fulfilling  childhood  .

as  a  teenager  ,  recently  acquainted  with  a  never  seen  before  freedom  ,  and  just  out  of  puberty  ,  andre  grew  more  acquainted  with  getting  in  trouble  .  thankfully  ,  nothing  like  cousin  gina  , who  had  to  cut  off  a  part  of  her  ear  after  piercing  it  by  herself  with  her  tenth  grade  friends  .  while  rambunctious  and  mischievous  ,  he  was  always  to  smart  to  get  caught  doing  something  that  could  get  him  in  any  kind  of  real  trouble  ,  and  by  then  ,  the  family  knew  that  they  could  trust  andre  to  not  be  too  irresponsible  ,  and  even  if  they  didn’t  ,  at  least  he  had  both  ears  intact  .

 a  full  grown  adult  ,  after  getting  his  marketing  degree in  northwestern  university  ,  andre  followed  his  mother’s  footsteps  and  worked  hard  to  climb  the  organizational   ladder  and  reach  the  cco  position ,  becoming  one  of  his  grandfather’s   valued  advisors  along  the  way  .  these  days  ,  he  works  hard  to  keep  his  image  clean  and  his  professional  life  very  well  separated  from  his  private  one  ,  being  very  succesful  at  it  thus  far  .

𝐈𝐈𝐈.   𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  :

andre can  definitely  be  considered  a  little bit   too  cocky  in  his  confidence  .  he  knows  his  strengths  and  doesn’t  believe  in  fake  humility  ,  always  eager  to  be  praised  by  whatever  actions  .  also  very  focused  ,  he  feels  as  if  he  knows  exactly  what  he  deserves  in  all  aspects  of  his  life  ,  and  doesn’t  hesitate  to  work  for  it  until  he’s  satisfied .

he  is also  ,  however  ,  a  very  fun  loving  individual  .  andre  believes  in  the  motto  work  hard  ,  play  hard  .  and  you  can  definitely  find  him  going  on  expensive  trips  to  exotic  locations  or   some  rich  person  adventure  more  often  that  he’d  like  to  admit  .  is  constantly  surrounded  by  a-list  celebrities  or  clout  chasers  who  attach  to  him  due  to  his  connections  into  the  industry  .  and  as  being  the   center  of  attention   is  one  of  his  favorite  things  ,  he  absolutely  adores  it  .

very  ,   extremely  sarcastic  and  definitely  not  the  most  outwardly  affectionate  person  ,  it  takes  a  lot  to  get  him  to  soften  up   ,   but  andre’s  also  extremely  loyal  to  those  he  knows  are  his  real  friends ,  and  always  makes  sure  that  they  are  with  him  no  matter  where  he  goes  and  what  he  gets  .

is  known  to  be  quite  the  ladies’  man  ,  and  often  lives  up  to  the  reputation  ,  even  though  he’s  settled  down  quite  happily  a  few  times  during  his  adulthood  .  he’s  not  averse  to  relationships ,  per say  ,  but  also  doesnt  want  to  jump  in  carelessly  ,  specially  when  he’s  not  felling  the  situation  .  is  frequently  engaged  in  some  sort  of  drama  with  the  girls  in  his  life  and  even  though  he  claims  to  dislike  it  ,  he  loves  all the  attention  he  gets  from  them  ( ew , i  hate  him  ,  he’s  gross  )

𝐈𝐕.   𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  :

childhood  best  friend  /  chicago  native  ( 1 / 2 )  :  people  who’ve  known  him  since  before  he  hit  puberty  and  became  cool  and  who  are  with  him til  this  very  day  .  they  might  not  be  best  friends  for  whatever  reason  but  still  are  closer than  most  friendships  out  there . ( pearl , )

flings /  could  be  past  or  present  :  could  also  range  from  the  silliest  to  the  most  angsty  stuff  ,  andre  definitely  has  the  repertoire  for  it .

ride  or  dies  (  2 / 6  )  :  truly  ride  or  dies  ,  his  closest  group  of  friends  ,  the  ppl  that  are with  him  no  matter where  he  is  and  the only  people  outside  his  family  he’d  do  whatever for  . ( devin , watson )

exes  /  chicago  native  (  2 /  2  )  :  i  have  some  ideas  about  them  but  lets  just  say  one  would  have  ended  in  decently  good terms  and  one  would  not . ( vera , aurora )

friend  with  interests  (  0 / 2  )  : andre  has  a  lot  of  ins  with  the  media  industry  ,  and  this  person  would  definitely  have  an  ulterior  motive  to  hang  around  him  ,  whether  he’s  realised  it  yet  or  no  .

flirtationship   (  1 / 1  )  : first  of  all  i  hate  that  word  my  GOD  but  also  ,  would  be  a  kind  of  thing  where  they’d  both  be  feeling  each  other  but  for  some  reason  things  just  wouldn’t  progress ? ( elissa )

there is a  lot  more  but  i’ve  just  written  this  thing  twice  in  a  row  n  my  brain  is  currently  just  2  neurons  barely  communicating  so  i  should  probably  quit  while  i’m  ahead  ?  but  pls  message  me  bc  if  u  want  to  know  some  more  about  andre  or  come  up w  plots  or  just  talk  about  how  hot mbj  is   n  how  unfair  it  is  that  the rpc  doesnt  gif  him nearly  enough  ?  or  we  could  also  talk  abt  something  i  might  be  delusional  rn  so  i  have  a bunch  of  interesting  topics  ok  bye  thanks  for  sticking  around i  love uuuu

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

Hi! I was wondering if I could ask for some advice with a friendship… I’ve been very close friends with this person for roughly 5-ish years now; it’s a friendship based on shared interests and mental health issues tbh, because we met over the net and I think the point where we actually became very close was when she told me about how she was struggling with depression. I was having trouble with anxiety myself at the time so I tried my best to support her, and later in our friendship, she told me how happy she was at the time. She said that because her parents don’t understand mental illness, she never had anybody to validate her feelings before we started talking about them. Anyway I wouldn’t say that mental health is like, the foundation of our friendship or anything, but it has continued to have a big part in our conversations in the years since then, and I’ve recently started to grapple with this ugly feeling that after five years of it I no longer know what to do for her? Like…I do understand that it’s not my job to be her therapist and that there isn’t any treatment I can offer, but she’s been doing especially badly since covid hit and when she vents about her troubles, I do need to respond somehow. It hurts because she’s in a lot of pain but there’s nothing I can do and “it’s ok to not be ok; I’m here for you if you need me; you’re not worthless; your feelings or valid” seems useless by now when I’ve already said the same things so many times. But idk how else to respond when she’s making suicide jokes that are clearly about actual suicidal ideation, has constant horrible revelations about buried childhood trauma, talks about her lack of a support system at home and scary things her therapist tells her every other week, etc. This probably sounds really hateful but I just want to clarify that I don’t mean it to be; I know that objectively, her life so far has been horrible and all the feelings she expresses are valid ways to feel about it. I just feel so helpless because the information keeps coming in but there’s nothing I can do. I *think* part of the problem is that I’ve never once set any sort of boundary when it comes to talking about stuff like this, but the thing is, it’s been 5 years…at this point, I’m not sure where to start. I’m worried she’d take it the wrong way and feel like I’ve decided she’s “too much” for me if I randomly bring it up. Also while it *could* just be me inflating my role in her life, I do feel concerned about potentially cutting off one of her few sources of emotional support? We live in entirely different countries so I never see how she operates in daily life…I know her family is not supportive at all and that her parents border on emotionally abusive, but have no clue how much contact she has with any other people rn or whether she talks about her troubles with anybody other than her therapist…and while conversations about her mental health are stressful, I also feel worried when I *don’t* know what’s happening on her end. I worry she might just bottle it all up (because she does have a tendency to do that) and then she’ll end up doing something reckless. Tl;dr…do you think there’s any way I could lay down some sort of boundary without hurting her? Or is there anything else I could do that might help? (This turned into a bit of a rant, sorry for how long it is and thank you so much for taking the time to read it! It helped so much just to write it down and get the thoughts out of my system, and reading this blog in general made me feel a lot calmer. You guys respond so kindly to everybody. Again, thanks so much for doing this! <3)

hey there, omg no don’t apologise it’s all cool :* I’m glad writing this all out has helped, writing / journaling is sometimes more therapeutic than people give it credit for.  

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head on quite a few points, especially on not previously setting boundaries, and on feeling helpless too. I know I often say things like “it’s ok to not be ok, tell your friend you’re there for them” etc, but I completely understand how that might start to lose some of its authenticity if you’ve had to say it many times before. friendships are complex! even though I agree (and have said myself) that it’s not the role of you as a friend to also double up as a therapist, at the same time you can’t just ignore what a friend has said. I also think that your concerns of her bottling up emotions and doing something reckless as a result of that is valid, and will complicate things a little. 

is it an option to suggest for her to get a new therapist? a therapist shouldn’t be scaring their patients! :( yes a therapist might put forward ideas that are intimidating (changing behaviours, confronting trauma etc) but they should be there to support their patient, and it shouldn’t feel ‘scary’ overall. they also shouldn’t be saying/doing things that scare someone every other week, that’s not healthy or helpful. is your friend aware of the possible negative impact her therapist is having on her, would she be open to the idea of looking for someone new? I know there can be accessibility / financial obstacles to factor in, but if there is any option for your friend to find a new therapist that could be something to talk with her about. 

there is one clear boundary you can set though, and that’s jokes around suicide / suicide ideation. if that’s her personal way of coping then that’s fine? but you absolutely have every right to ask her not to make comments like that around you if it makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious or on edge. I doubt she’s doing anything intentionally! if that’s the case though then she’s almost certain not to be aware of any negative impact it’s having on you. 

honestly, I think the best you can do is keep encouraging her to seek professional help, and for her to be as open as possible with her therapist. the website Psychology Today (uk / usa / australia / canada) could be useful in finding a new therapist? she could maybe look at contacting her local youth centre and asking for info and resources as well, if that’s something that could help.

how to talk about all of this with her though, the idea of possibly suggesting a new therapist and setting a few boundaries? it’s a conversation that might need a bit of planning beforehand, even if it’s just rough idea in bullet-point form. you could let her know that you care about her a lot but jokes suicide / suicide ideation aren’t helpful for you to hear -- stress that you’re not trying to make her feel bad and that you know it’s not intentional, but that you just wanna make her aware of it. mention that you love and care about her a lot! but that there are limits to what you can help with, and conversations around resurfaced childhood trauma might be best talked about with her therapist. mention that this isn’t you abandoning her or anything, that she can always talk to you? however you feel a little helpless in the face of all her troubles and concerns, and that you just want her to have the best care and support possible.

it’s not going to be an easy conversation to have, but it’s absolutely a necessary one. as long as you make sure to stress that you really do love her and care about her a lot, she hopefully won’t get too defensive or upset. you maybe might need to give the friendship a bit of extra attention (eg. starting conversations first, asking how she’s doing etc) to show that you really did mean it when you say you cared about her :* actions speak louder than words sometimes, and if she can see that you’re still dedicating time and energy to the friendship then it could help to mitigate the risk of her doing something reckless. good luck friend, I hope the conversation with her goes alright xxx

- tash

[mossandrock]

Emoji Muse Askmeme-- 😈👌💀👀

I guess I’ll do Denoreth and Egeire bc I can’t handle how many potential choices there are rn. 

😈- if my muse has dirty thoughts about yours

I mean, if you consider noticing another person is attractive a “dirty thought” then I guess yeah. If by “dirty thoughts” you mean thinking in graphic detail about the ways in which one might like to act upon physical attraction to another person, or being frequently distracted by envisioning various primal and/or baroque scenes of carnality that could potentially be pursued, then... also yes. 

👌- something my muse finds amazing/impressive about your muse

He still keeps his softness where people can see it. Sure, he’s got more than his share of sharp edges and wounds and brittle flinty places, but they never scabbed over that gentleness and enthusiasm that keeps surviving in the open.

💀- whether my muse thinks yours is dangerous and how dangerous

He seems to be on a par with the other assassin husband. (Although if they want to verify that by continuing to spar with each other for a while, I mean. Den could watch. It’s no problem.) Dangerous enough to himself on occasion to be a bit of a worry; delightfully dangerous to their enemies.

👀- the most interesting/memorable rumor my muse has heard about yours

There’s a new answer to that every time Den and Ky get shitfaced together What’s this about young Egeire, his crush, and like four angry bears?