#i havent thought abt their dynamic like this in weeks

[pekodayz]

sokudo killed my dog

[sun-stricken]

I hope this isn’t too much of a bother but do you have any hcs abt grays time in avatar? Cannon is frustratingly vague about his time there. Have a nice day!

i totally thought i responded to this days ago holy shit its been a minute

I havent read or watched the avatar arc in forever, and refuse to do it again so i played it a bit fast and loose with the dynamic

This gets a bit dark, just a little forewarning

* if you asked the mages that shared his time at avatar, Gray had earned the reputation of someone callous and cold and untouchable, who didnt get his hands dirty

* he used more charismatic techniques to obtain information, or fear, but it was rare to see him physically harm them

* If you asked Gray about his time in avatar, he wouldn’t give you a straight answer, if he gave one at all

* Avatar knew who he was, for an undercover mission he wasnt under a whole lot of cover. He was sent in as himself, his “cover/backstory” was a lot of half truths and a warped narrative

* He climbed through the ranks faster than expected, which caused a lot of rumors and speculation, such as maybe the ‘Higher Ups’ were so enthralled by an ex-light guid member turning over they rushed him through, or he did something so heinous they were impressed, or maybe he slept with them

* there were a lot of rumors.

* Of course, most arent true, Gray just had more to offer than the average person

* In most dark guilds / cults there are ‘trials’ of sort to prove someone loyalty, hazings of sorts

* He had to go through them ten times over

* It lasted weeks, around a quarter of the time spent at Avatar was his ‘initiation’

* There were certain points where Gray thought they might actually break him

* He refused to use his ice-make magic during his time in Avatar, he couldnt bear using Urs magic for something like this

* He developed these piercing migraines from his eyes constantly darting around his surrounding, and he rarely slept

* Avatar wasnt a inherently paranoid guild, but it was protective and unrelenting, being caught as a traitor was terms for a public violent execution

* There were two other alleged traitors in Grays time there, when they were accused they were tortured and executed in front of the entire ‘guild’

* and he wouldn’t allow himself to even twitch in case that set his own death in motion, It just served to further his reputation

* He never told Erza about this.

* Despite his reputation, the untouchable aura he gave off proved attractive to some people, they thinking being seen fraternizing with someone like him would earn them some respect, and given some of the rumors surrounding him, they thought he would reciprocate

* He didnt, for obvious reasons, and he often left the more handsy and assertive with frostbite and frozen to the ground for hours

* He had bi-weekly check-ins with Erza so he could relay his and their progress and so she could gauge his mental state; Gray gave her watered down versions of the things hed seen and endured during the months he was there unless it pertained to what she needed to close the operation

* He and Erza had a system where he would call her and she would help him smuggle out any victims Avatar took for information or as a message

* He had killed once while in Avatar, it was a man they were ‘interrogating’ who couldn’t provide anymore information and they couldnt just let him go, so they entrusted Gray taking care of him while they watched, it was a test to see if he would, it was as fast and humane as killing someone can be but he will never ‘get over’ it

* He can still remember exactly how he looked, how he sounded, down to the smallest detail

* That was what almost broke him

* He didnt draw it out, it was fast and clean, which was another reason for his ‘doesn’t get his hands dirty’ reputation

* He tried to live by the ‘the ends justify the means’ principle, he survived Avatar by doing what he had to, regardless of what that was that was

* He tried so hard to help himself cope with it, but he just couldnt no matter how hard he tried

* Even though he acted annoyed when the rest of his team burst into Avatar and tore down his whole operation, he was relieved, so fucking relieved he didnt have to stay any longer

* The transition after Avatar was, for lack of a better term, fucking terrible. there was a lot of panic and guilt and paranoia and dissociating to get him through it

* He trained his instincts to act to the slightest trouble, which would be fine considering every movement towards him before was trouble

* But hes back with his friends now, with the people who wouldnt hurt him. So instead of being proud of his reflexes all he feels is panic and guilt

* Gray was constantly searching for an exit and always kept one open and in sight, and would forget he was with safe people and lash out if they blocked one

* Months following the reformation of Fairy Tail held a lot of blanks for Gray, his brain in an attempt to finally protect him would have him go on autopilot, dissociate. He did this a lot early on after Deloria but he thought he ‘grew out of it’, clearly not

* His sleep got even worse after Avatar, he thought the familiar environment would help him but it only made him more on edge

* He knew what could happen to them if he let himself sleep at the guild, the thought of something happening while was taking a fucking nap was nauseating enough that his brain wouldn’t let him let his guard down enough to feel tired

* And sleeping at home was out of the question completely, if a dark mage decided tonight was the night for vengeance against him for tearing apart their cult, how could he defend himself if he was asleep?

* This was fine for a while, but when the adrenaline crash of no longer actually needing to be on guard 24/7 and the weeks of no more than half an hour (involuntary) naps caught up to him, it caught hard

* i mean, it was brutal, collapsed at the first moment of relative peace he came across, it felt almost like withdrawal, with a lot of sleeping

* in some ways he feels so fucking angry and almost betrayed by Erza for asking him to go undercover for her, for making him go through everything he did. But he knows if he didnt its possible she wouldve, and he would do it all over again if it meant that wouldnt happen.

* In other way, hes angry at himself for letting himself get to this point, for letting them break something in him like they did.

* He’ll realistically never be able to go back to before, never be able to trust people, his friends, truly and without reservation again

i hate the avatar arc sometimes but it provides such good material

[surreal-duck]

screw it. midoyuzu sdv au (very long bullet point post warning in advance)

midori inherits his late grandpa's farm. parents' greengrocers shop in the city used to get a good chunk of their crops from there til his passing and the farm was since abandoned

kanata is definitely handling the fishing shop. though he spends more time in the water puka pukaing than actually fishing and manning the store but its fine she manages somehow. when midori gets the fishing rod kanata just straight up pops outta to water to give him the rod and floats away 👍 souma helps out there also

chiaki owns the saloon and bartends even if he does Not drink himself and the only thing that ever plays on tv are tokusatsu shows

as for the others i havent thought abt as much and subject to change. kuro blacksmith with his apprentice tetora maybe . nagisa the museum and library curator (and by extension i think itd be really funny if ibara was a joja executive. mostly to keep an eye on nagisa but also keeping the yzib hostility). eichi is the mayor though keito his vice mayor does most of everything and his boyfriend wataru organizes the town events and such like the valley fair etc!! natsume is the forest wizard w his apprentice sora and tsumugi comes by weekly in that traveling cart thing. madara owns the ranch probably.

everybody else is probably just normal townsfolk, among others hajime and hinata take care of the towns plants n stuff!! tatsumi priest, mayoi is half shadow person and hangs out in the sewer (of which noritama at some point explore together and shinobu befriends and invites to visit the surface). i said i didnt think about this much but thats a lie at this point. mika stays in an atelier in the forest (owned by shu whos in the city but does visit on occassion) to cultivate his own art, still best buds with arashi. jun koga adonis and maybe hiiro part of the adventurers guild, trick5tar are their own lil band!!

some charas r not present most of the time or yet like tori who is off at uni w his longtime academic rival and childhood friend and also now roommate tsukasa. their presence is very important for later trust me. rich family rivalry still remains here (along with military camp Because)

due to tori being at uni and learning independence yuzuru is off of his usual butler work for a while and working in the general store owned by the himemiyas! partly to pass the time partly encouraged to find something new to do outside of his servant duties. he calls and nags at tori regularly to make sure hes fine and such

the request board outside of the store is always a good source for side jobs and one day a request for foraged spring onions is pinned up with a terrifying drawing scribbled on it. midoris head over heels Immediately and she already has a good amount to spare so why not take it

hes probably a week into living in the valley already? while yuzuru had just started working over at the store therefore she wasnt aware of this yuzuru fushimi and finds the very one while looking for who put up the request!! the master artist + fan dynamic goes from then on

other than the usual chitchats and more requests with encouraged atrocious drawings accompanying them, been thinking a good amount of the specific town events that happen through the year!! other misc things are various quests and errands from each of the characters, like helping mika gather cloth or hajime requesting various flowers to brighten up the town

Y1 Spring: egg festival, noritama hanging out, shinobu sweeping the egg hunt; flower dance , as they havent gotten to know each other to well enough to actually dance (just like in the game) (haley please. anyways) its mostly just small talk and maybe including some other side pairings i like djdhhfjdj chiaki with a suspiciously soaked kanata and hina dragging off tetsu

Y1 Summer: acquiring the rusty key from nagisa, noritama sewer exploration and befriending mayoi; luau, nothing special particularly for this one; dance of the moonlight jellies, from here yuzuru and midori get a lot closer playing in the sand and just getting along (a bit like siosai marina)!! probably some background drop for the both of them like takamine gramps' farm and yuzurus actual role as a butler while telling him about tori as well dkhdhdjs. they spot the rare green jellyfish together here too

Y1 Autumn (yeah im calling it autumn sue me): valley fair commences, led by everyones own wataru whos hopping here and there somehow managing three attractions at once. yuzuru obliterates the shooting game; spirits eve, chiaki is desperately being clingy out of fear. just more shenanigans in this one

Y1 Winter: festival of ice!! i kinda want to recreate the snow bunny/cute critter scene in jingle bells here, while the fishing contest isnt even a contest at all except between souma and kanata; feast of the winter star ill probably keep somewhat similar to that in the recent luck fest campaign gift exchange!! midori -> hajime and yuzuru -> kanata at the very least. just good vibes all around. community centre would also be finished by then so while joja closes, ibara ends up assisting at the museum w nagisa instead jshshdh

Y2 Spring: only thing of note is that This flower dance they do get to dance together!! 👍 had to get those hearts up beforehand sjhdhdjshd midori at this point fully realized he really does like yuzuru, but kind of the calm before the summer storms

Y2 Summer: gets a bit (a lot) more complicated from here. yuzuru receives word from tori that he'll be visiting from midsummer til the beginning of autumn, and coincidentally tsukasa is tagging along to meet up with his pen pal and friend sora!! bickering the entire way there and due to circumstances yuzurus hosting tsukasa as well in the end, having to share toris room with him aksjdhjwjs

tori gets introduced to midori. the famed young master of midoris crush and this random farmer boy tori had heard so much about for some reason. midoris rather intimidated in the end but it ends up not Horribly to say the least. didnt quite help how tori had noticed how yuzuru softened up even just a bit when interacting with him. sora as well finally meets tsukasa and "the torikun he's heard so much about through tsukasas letters" 🎉 toris awfully smug and tsukasa tries to salvage it saying he was badmouthing him the whole time (not completely a lie but definitely not completely the truth either. dork)

with toris arrival inevitably comes yuzurus duties as a butler, its plain to see his priorities and out of consideration midori backs off a bit. she thought he'd only have to keep his distance until tori's gone back but little did she know toris main reason for coming not only was to assess how yuzurus faring (well and to meet eichi again) but had planned on bringing yuzuru back with him too to which yuzuru of course though not without feeling a tinge of pain for a reason unknown to him agrees to it

midori hears this from tsukasa, how he didnt think yuzuru would stay in town for much longer. and of course midori ended up pretty devastated at the news but who is he to stop yuzuru from leaving? in the end yuzuru would all but abandon his duties, and after all that same diligence and devotion is what midori had fallen for in the first place. if this short year really is all he'd get to spend with him then at the very least she'll have to make the most of what time they have left

the moonlight jellies come around again, probably one of the last times they both thought they'd be able to spend together and went off with just the two of them. a bit of an awkward air around them, yuzuru comments on how toris been complaining about the sand and other attempts at casual small talk as usual but its painfully obvious theres still that tense atmosphere

midori finally asks if yuzurus really leaving after all, to which she got a yes. midori simply nods and had long since accepted that inevitability, and already resolved that when the time comes to put an end to his feelings and get rejected properly. and so he confesses, and while saying she didnt need yuzuru to give him any proper answer in return, all yuzuru could really say was an "i'm sorry" while finally realizing what that awful ache that has been eating at him the entire time was. even if he did realize he felt the same, no matter how much he wanted to say it back theyve both resigned to the fact that its not something that could or would really ever happen between them

once the jellies have all left, their parting was pretty awkward, with that one goodbye feeling a lot like their last. tori notices something off about yuzuru and that something had probably happened between them, but didnt pay it much thought until a while later

yuzurus made more mistakes than whats normal, miscategorizing the stock or putting salt in his coffee, tori and tsukasa are both shocked and tried to pry it out of him but hes a brick wall that wont budge even a bit. it was only when midori came around for his usual errands and groceries that tori could note how distant and awkward theyre both being and that slight bit of hurt behind yuzurus all perfect mask

after much uncomfortable tension and quietly longing gazes enough is enough amd tori eventually confronts him, that while he did say yuzuru could come back to the city asks him if thats really what he wanted. and of course, all hes ever wanted or rather, knew how to want was to be able to serve tori to the best of his ability and really theres no other reason to stay anyways. even more frustrated now tori brings up midori, if he really wont regret leaving things like that when theyll surely drift apart to the point of no return if he keeps it up

argues that whatever was between him and midori has nothing to do with it!! tori is Mad and says if yuzuru is hiding behind his role to run away from the depths of his own feelings hes being a freaking idiot. eventually tori calms down and while he did want yuzuru to come, never wanted him to tear himself apart so much and that he didnt need to sacrifice his desires or getting close to anyone else for his sake, and how before being a servant yuzuru is his family as well and he just wants him to be happy too. then asks one last time if leaving the valley really what he wanted

yuzuru finally thinks it over again and apologizes first. for letting himself get so caught up and carried away for even daring to get close to someone else (tori glares daggers at him. he stops) and affirms that while he did wish to stay, theres still nothing more important to him than tori and his wellbeing and even should he open up and find more people in his life its not gonna change that fact

toris finally satisfied, reminding him again that even if he were to run off to be with some farmer boy hed still be his butler and that he wishes them the best. then proceeds to grab the bouquet from over the counter, shove it into yuzurus hands and lock him out of the store until he has a proper talk with midori. yuzuru tries to argue but it all goes one ear and out the other with tori he is Not gonna let him back inside until then

eventually gives in and goes looking for midori. he asks all around town and seems to just miss him each time, til eventually it starts pouring and into a pretty hard rain. at this point all he could rly focus on though was wanting to see him so pushes on until running into her taking shelter in the forest. yuzuru is Soaked and disheveled and with the wind and rain the bouquet is stripped down to only a few of its flowers left but he does not care at this point

midori is understandably shocked and tries to dry him off with what he had, lending her jacket and asking what he was doing out in the rain like that. well with yuzuru only being able to think about wanting to meet him had completely ignored the rain and brushes it off saying there was something more important he wanted to say

even knowing that he'd (somewhat) rejected midori before, asks if he could give him a proper response this time if midori would give him another chance. she agrees, yuzuru lets him know he wont be going back to the city after all to midoris surprise. goes on that before he knew it midori had become important to him as well and that he truly does adore him, and if his feelings havent changed would like to court him properly. midoris just processing the entire thing before crying. never thought his feelings would be reciprocated and between sobs hugs him. rain clears up, a nice rainbow arches over and while midori accepts what was left of the bouquet they almost had a moment until yuzuru starts sneezing. cue them running back to the store before he gets sick

while yuzurus taking care of himself it leaves midori and tori in the store together. tori gives her a bit of a shovel talk and if he dared do anything to hurt yuzuru he could have his entire farm shut down. and asks to take care of yuzuru for him too. they do talk a bit and end up getting to know each other a bit more before tori and tsukasas impending departure

once midori leaves, tsukasa, having seen the whole conversation, asks tori if hes really okay with it and while tori cant say hes absolutely happy is glad someone cherishes yuzuru just as much. and even if he is a bit lonely will always have tsukasa anyways half as a tease and half being genuine

Y2 Autumn: tori and tsukasa leave the valley, promising to come back next year!! theres a lot more ive planned out from this point out but i am keeping it to myself for now. or maybe forever it depends 👍 my apologies if youve read this far you deserve a medal thank you for listening to my silly rambling 🏅

theres some other things like mini chara arcs/episodes and such (or stuff like specific "heart events" of a sort) i thought abt but among them is tatsumi and mayoi meeting and [omitted] or tetoras apprenticeship under kuro, or shus visit to observe mikas progress and [omitted], and specifically a certain trks episode also

[angelcstasy]

HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO COOL???? I LOVE HOW WELL THOUGHT OUT THE STORYLINE IS IM SOOOO AHEHFHEHDHE I FR WANNA KNOW MORE (also i thought they'd kiss at the end but nevermind- im quite alright with mutual abuse too(

here are their designs this is pretty old as you can tell and i dont think the heights look accurate at all + a bunch of other nitpicks but wuteva :"]]

OHHHH IF ONLY THEYD KISS MAN, IF ONLY THEY WOULD :CC but tysm !!! gahhh that means !! a lot !!!! :"333 so uh yeah! i havent been able to fully draw prisoner and warden yet aside from a few unfinished sketches ANYWAYS lemme slow down a bit and talk abt some other stuff outside of themes and plot :0 so abt their designs, prisoner is 6'4 ft mixed but mostly of black descent, appears 25 yrs old, slim/skinny build hes actually a little underweight bcuz of how little he eats, short dark wavy slightly curly hair, has eyebags and some other facial imperfections around his body but other than that, since i based him off of serial killer archetypes, hes pretty conventionally attractive and has a pleasant voice and demeanor :]] warden is 6'3 also mixed but less so than prisoner and mostly of brown descent, appears 23 yrs old, slim/skinny build like prisoner but he eats a bit more so he looks less like skin and bones, short straight black hair, has a bit of acne due to long periods of exposure to the elements and such but again since hes also based off serial killer archetypes, hes also conventionally attractive and has a pleasant voice! SO off to where the story begins ohohhohhhh ill keep this short but. the warden and the prisoner have been going at it for nearly 2000 years, and what theyve been doing pretty much is that they run into each other every few weeks/months and they just! stab and shoot and fight to the death! :D smtimes this happens bcuz they yknow run into each other smtimes this happens bcuz prisoner tries to kill someone and warden, who likes to stalk him for long periods of time just to prevent this from happening, has to come into the rescue and fuck prisoners shit up and if theyre feeling especially vengeful they generally put each other thru smth awful .. hooray? but yeah! pretty much i started writing this story bcuz i was just fascinated by the idea of how far/extreme i could take the enemy-enemy dynamic in fiction and what i could do w/ that concept !! and then from there it evolved into an exploration of trauma and how it horrifically distorts and rewires the way 2 people view themselves and their actions and the world, leading them to manipulate and brutalize and torture each other, and letting the fact that youre a victim blind you from the fact that youre also an abusive person, and thats its not entirely the other persons fault but also your own :[ i think that the prisoner and the warden are fundamentally very different people, they just react to trauma the same way: they are very sensitive to it and they dont know how to handle it, they can only let the hurt eat them from the inside out and cause more hurt ..

and! if you dont mind me very pretentiously including this quote from house of leaves here adjusted slightly since i think it absolutely fits the way these 2 view each other:

I'm afraid. [He] is hungry. [He] is immortal. Worse, [he] knows nothing of whim.

[suite43]

mini.megs hits different it just does trust me.

[heckolve]

.

[felikatze]

Hello again, I'd love to here more about Harumi and Sensei Garmadon, they sound really cute and fluffy!

hello again to you too~ late response cuz you caught me just as i was heading to sleep last night, whoops

havent intensely thought abt green swap in a hot second but!!! garmadon and harumi!!

for one, you are right, they are cute and fluffy. that found family dynamic, ykno?

on the other hand...

so, at like, s3, s4, that point, sensei g pretty much adopted harumi, and harumi is thrilled abt it cuz he's cool, but, at the beginning, they really only click cuz the other is what they "want" in a sense

see, harumi's motivation for finding the serpentine was distracting herself from her grief over her parents. and this plays a lot into my perception of canon harumi, too. i think she never quite got over that loss in canon too, and one of her big reasons for summoning garmadon isnt just revenge. she's also projected onto him as a pseudo parental figure for herself, hence the whole "what about a daughter?" scene from s8. she's still craving the parental affection she was robbed of.

with less time for this to fester, and much different circumstances behind her parents' deaths, she again latches onto garmadon as a replacement for her own parents

and garmadon is happy to oblige, cuz he misses lloyd, basically. in this AU, the ninja never find lloyd, so he's just Out There for a bit. Lloyd cant find garmadon and garmadon cant find lloyd and they both miss each other a ton.

when wu breaks garmadon out of the realm of madness to rescue harumi, he has way less emotional stake in it. but he still does it, cuz he sees a scared kid and just... can't help himself. initially, it is very much the affection for lloyd he never could live out, redirected. projection on both sides lmao.

for what i imagine s2 here, that's where harumi really starts seeing good in him. cuz, even if he's possessed by the overlord, even if he is the lord of evil, someone willing to storm a volcano for some random kid can't be all bad. harumi refuses to believe that.

and for sensei g, this girl believing in his inherent goodness is what finally saved him.

we have a selfless act in s1 stacking up with a selfless act in s2, so when s3 comes and the two have to stick together for weeks, they're inseperable after.

once they can get to know each other as people, the element of projection also lessens, and the two start on processing their grief, one step at a time.

(of course, lloyd is still alive, but hey, garmadon doesn't know that.)

and after all that, you get a scene from a fic i really should finish!! (thank you lloydweek for providing incentive for me to do so. i see the prompt trust/betrayal and i yell GREEN SWAP TIME BABEY)

it's still Rough tho i need to rewrite it lmao. hence all lowercase cuz i'm lazy. anyway.

---

"I can only imagine the kind of person he grew up to be." garmadon's eyes shine with pride. "if he's anything like you, then that's enough."

"like me? how am i good?"

"you're helping me now, aren't you?" he ruffles her hair the way her dad used to. "you're a kind girl deep down, harumi. kind, and smart, and inquisitive, and brave."

he stares ahead. harumi stares at him. "i'm sure lloyd will love a sister like you."

harumi is silent. dazed. her mind is spinning.

garmadon turns back to her and the moment ends. "i apologize. that was presumptious of me."

harumi holds an image in her mind. of herself, garmadon behind her. next to her, a rambunctious blond boy. all three of them smiling.

a happy family.

"i'm..." why do words fail her again now? "i'd love a brother like lloyd, too."

garmadon beams. harumi allows a small smile to creep through.

[lucias-moved]

hiii baz the pushing daisies au looks so good!! do you by any chance have any other haikyuu fic recs? i've been trying to find good ones so if you did that'd be cool ❣️ tysm <3

fufu hi yay im happy ur interested!!! and omg. yes i absolutely do i am so glad u asked. not sure if u have any genre or pairing preferences so ill just give some random ones:

sinners by lettersinpetals | sakuatsu 29k enemies to friends to lovers, high school au set in the philippines, focuses on sakusa and his mental health as well as family dynamics. havent read it in a bit but its probably one of my favorites with both writing style and concept

character development by silvercistern | bokuaka 76k fake dating ish, high school/college au set in la county, mainly abt akaashi navigating his senior yr after a big incident the previous year. love love love how this author writes akaashi n this one is phenomenal

any of priorwalter's works | probably one of my fav hq authors i love their characterization and writing style it makes me feel things every time :') they just wrote an osasuna fic too its my beloved<33

till death do us part by sketchedsmiles | 37k osasuna assassins au !!!!! with a twist !!! ughh so good .. for some reason i found like 3 different osasuna assassin aus in a week they were all great i love assassin!suna with my whole heart

tell me we'll never get used to it by sulfate | 1k iwaoi oneshot, warning for body horror bc oikawa can grow plants from his skin. this one is a comfort fic ik its super short but its so soft and sweet

only fools fall for you by crossroadswrite | 9k kagekenhina, everyone has a crush on everyone theyre just kids in love. rly cute and i think this ship has a great dynamic <3

slip of the pen by limeprint, plumii | 6k sunaosa college au, theyre roommates and suna is a writer with many sappy thoughts. poetic and it made me smile a lot :)

dont look now by pancakewars | 5k kuroken kind of angsty? explaining it would give a lot away just know that its a little sad n bittersweet but still nice

ice ice baby by ohwickedsoul | 10k mainly bokuaka w some others, figure skating/hockey au. another comfort fic! seriously the writing is so good and i love skating aus so .

6/10 by cheekybrunette | 19k kagehina canon compliant, but its mostly abt kageyama with a heavy focus on his anxiety. makes me cry because of how much i can relate to it :') (also the rest of the authors hq fics r good too!)

brunch friends series by newamsterdam | multiple pairings, au where like. everyones an adult and has their own jobs n stuff is there a name for this . so fun to read and well written, very heart emoji

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[sunsetsover]

I think you're right about Callum potentially fearing seeming weak. And I also think it relates to how Callum see's his and Ben's relationship dynamic. If you look at Callum's words and actions, he sees himself as a protector, Ben's protector specifically. He's like a security blanket from the moment he learns Ben is deaf, tells Phil he wants to look after Ben, he takes the deal with Thompson to protect him, stands up to Phil etc. He'll be thinking 'how can I look after my husband if I'm weak?'

this ask just made me extremely emo wtf 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

like i think that's just how callum sees himself full stop tbh :-( like maybe not necessarily as a protector for EVERYONE, that's kinda reserved for the people he really cares about (tho ben especially which !! kinda spoilers if u havent seen this weeks eps yet !! but this concept of him looking after ben comes up again) but given his upbringing and then going straight into the army he probably has a lot of internalised bs abt being Strong and A Man. and tbh not only is being in the police clearly a triggering thing for him, it's probably just compounding that feeling even more what with the whole 'protect and serve' thing that must get drummed into them.

there's definitely more that i could get into w this whole idea of callum feeling the need to protect based on stuff that happened in this weeks eps but i don't want to spoil it for people who haven't seen it yet but know i have some Thoughts. but ur right and it makes me sad :-(

💞💞💞

[freunwol]

may i have some more phanlumi thoughts

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF hell yeah

- i mentioned that the post-opening up dynamique would be good but WHAT is that dynamic well i think phantoms ribbing would be less direct and more just...ribbing? thered still be some tension for a while cuz yeah phantoms naturally a cagey bitch but once theres an understanding of how the other works and that yes they can be honestly abt what they think of the other, theyd bounce off each other more naturally? lumis natural kindness would be more evident as well, since hes less frustrated by phantoms cageyness

- once they start dating? lumi wouldnt want it to be public at all but phantom would wanna be like LOL HEY LOOK AT MY BOYFRIEND I GOT ONE ISNT THAT FUCKING COOL

- in private? i think that phantom feels compelled to be flirtatious but lumi just. he either doesnt pick up on it or he doesnt give a single shit and phantoms like damn how do i show i have the gay for you

- again, theres still ribbing, but its just that- ribbing. if they have fights, theyre far less personal than...whatever the fuck happened in hom

- soft moments dont happen often cuz thats just who they are but they do happen...

- they manage to convince each other to go to a therapist lmao

- they look at the moon together on lumiere... i just think they would, i also think thats where phantom would wanna propose dlksjghlfskdjhgf

- either the heroes accidentally find out immediately or they dont find out until theyre invited to the wedding...the latter is super funny actually

- lania accidentally calls phantom her dad and he starts crying

- i also think lania is the one who helped lumi realize he actually had feelings for phantom and i think immediately after realizing he just sits there stunned for a while

- phantom meanwhile doesnt realize until hes like “why cant i stop fucking thinking about him today i havent seen him in half a month”

- idk if ive shared my headcanon that phantom is very hardcore flirtatious but he can barely take it back, i think lumi tries to flirt like once and it goes awfully but phantoms internally still really charmed Somehow

- obviously he makes fun of him but yknow

- lumi writes poetry abt phantom and phantom bursts into flames

- i actually have no clue who would confess... phantom seems like the obvious choice but i think lumi would wanna be straightforward...after planning it out for a week kfjghflsdkjhgk

- phantom takes lumi on like super lavish dates and lumi just invites him to his house and they have cookie dough ice cream

- i mustve mentioned that i hc that lumi has a sweet tooth? phantom figures this out and exploits the hell out of it

- so essentially phantom makes a lot of stereotypical romantic gestures at first and lumi isnt rlly having most of it but eventually it shifts into stuff lumi would actually really like and they have more fun

- on the other side, lumi doesnt think phantom actually wants romantic gestures in return but realizes he dies for that shit so despite being the Worst at romantics he tries his best and phantom once again bursts into flames

- i think they actually both dont like pda so they decide to keep it on the dl in every aspect aside from phantom wanting to announce that he has a bf

- once the heroes do find out they freak out like WHAT THE FUCK SINCE WHEN???????????

- since a while

ok that was a lot more than i thought uhhhhhhhhhhhyeah

[kymkdd]

a few mangas i think you should read (pls)

originally i wanted to write a review about fukakai na boku no subete wo

anyways enough introductions here is the list :

fukakai na boku no subete wo

a really sweet story about a nonbinary amab protagonist getting introduced to an “otokonoko cafe” where they meet 3 other amabs that all work at the cafe for different reasons

it is obviously lgbt oriented but it has some really nice humour and doesnt shy too much from facing its characters with familial issues which i often see overlooked in the genre where most conflicts are more internal

to top it all it has some extremely sweet m/m and nb/m romance as well as a pretty conflicted lesbian character only 21 chapters so far so it is a pretty quick read but it is really worth it in my opinion

shimeji simulation

a really funny and strange 4 koma by tsukumizu

as with his previous work on shoujo shuumatsu ryokou this manga can get pretty existential at times altho so far theres only 16 chapters but the dynamic between the two main protagonists is amazing imo

so far it seems like it is headed to get even better than SSR was and i hope it will

nora to zassou (r-18)

a hard hitting manga about a girl who looks a lot like the deceased daughter of the other main protagonist, a jaded assistant inspector devastated by the loss of said daughter

the plot deals with very serious themes such as child trafficking and prositution as well as domestic abuse however it never uses those themes for shock factor they are integral part of the plot and are key to understanding the psyche of the duo and how it affects them both deeply on a physical and emotional plane

this manga is probably the one i recommend the most out of those 3 but the r-18 isnt for show imo

dead dead demon’s dededededestruction

a really good slice of life/seinen from asano inio (oyasumi punpun, solanin) that talks about the daily life of high school girls living in the middle of tokyo while theres an alien invasion going on (lol) however it isnt all cutesy as one would expect from the cover or the quirky name and you will soon remember that youre actually reading a seinen (if it wasnt obvious because of who the author is) because the story can and will get dark in unexpected ways a few chapters in

probably my favourite on this list and my favourite out of asanos catalogue but i could definitely see why someone would think it isnt as good as stuff like punpun but to me the interactions between the characters, their personalities, their opinions on things are all really amazing to me and the main cast is lovable af so ill still recommend this well over something like punpun, if you want something in the same “genre” (sol+aliens) you should check out dainana joshikai houkou even tho i personally havent read all of it yet it seems to be pretty similar but more slice of lifey and way less seinen

aaaaaand thats a wrap currently im working towards finishing hibike! euphonium and plan to write a review for it so please look forward to that additionally i still have to finish watching tonari no kyuuketsuki-san and eizouken ni wa te wo dasu na! and might write reviews for those two as well finally theres a bajillion mangas i plan to read in the upcoming days/weeks, im still waiting for the last chapter of ao no flag to release in english so that i can review it even if i already read it because i might need to make a spoil section for that review to explain more in depth etc.

all and all thank you very much if you took the time to read all the way down there

heres a nice screenshot for you as a gift

(intense lesbian stare)

[huangfilms]

Youtuber!Jisung

summary: we’re both youtubers and i don’t know you personally, but i watch your videos on occasion and we’re both pretty well known on youtube and i mentioned you being cute Once and now our ‘fans’ ship us

(A/N) hey kids im bacc with another scenario! and its for jisung ! this wasnt requested but i wanted it so im writing it :D i hope you enjoy i love u all also blease leave me feedback (ps,, my time is now going to b spent on hs tutor mark and then uhh prince chenle and then bf jisung but idk when i’ll have them out so be patient please!!! love you <3)

so obviously jisung would be that youtube channel filled with dance covers and just videos of him dancing

some videos would include the rest of the dreamies dancing with him

or just random videos,, like vlogs 

his channel is like his little own archive so he can watch these videos when he gets older

like he doesnt care if people watch him he just wants to share these vids of him dancing and doing weird shit with his friends

but he’s well known around youtube anyway

so where do you come in?????/

you’re also a youtuber

but you dont really know jisung

you do watch his videos sometimes because hes crazy talented

and a little awkward but its endearing and cute

you tend to binge watch his videos when you’re bored

um,,, your youtube channel is basically like his

except its more of vlogs and everyday life videos

you dance sometimes (and if you dont just pretend that you do HAHA)

anyway

so one day you wake up with a billion notifications

and a lot of messages from your friends

‘check your twt y/N BLEASE’

and youre s o confused

and you see that you’ve gained a lot of subscribers or whatever overnight and you’re just????? why???

then you open up twitter and then you see it

‘omg i ship y/n with jisung ! they would be so cute together AHHH’

someone tweeted that

you have never been more confused because you don’t think you’ve mentioned him in your videos

you do watch him as stated above but like,,,, whats goin on

your phone dings and you see that you got a text from ur bestie 

‘watch this RIGHT NOW’ and attached to it is a youtube link

so you click on it and its a video from jisung and the title is uhhh

‘Q&A with my 🅱️ros 😩💯👊’

so ur just laughing and shit and ur like halfway through the video

and you’re wondering why your friend sent it to you

but then theres this question

‘do you watch other youtubers??? if so who?’

and you can see jisung turn red

and its so CUTE

but then he says something that like,,,,,,,, SHOCKS you

fat oof

‘u-um i watch y/n’s channel a lot! they’re super talented and i mayhaps think that they’re cute,,, or whatever,,,,,’

and then it becomes quiet

‘ANYWAY’ - probably donghyuck

and you pause the video and you SCREAM

cause in ur videos u act like a total crackhead i mean if ur on this website then ya ur a certified crackhead

then you start to text ur friend and you’re freaking out

its all incoherent words and keyboard smashes

but then on twt ur just like,,,, ‘@ jisungstwthandle i think you’re cute or whatever too’

EVERYONE IS RIOTING CAUSE !

when jisung gets the notification hes screaming

‘JAEMIN LOOK’

‘mhm mhm’ hes not even paying attention to jisung

after that tweet you post another that says ‘reply what i should do for my next video kids !’

a lot of people say a collab with jisung

others say q&a

SO you don’t really want to bother jisung so you stick to the q and a idea

and then you say to tweet you with uhhh wutevr hashtag with a question and you’ll answer it in a video

you’re not surprised when you see tons of questions asking about jisung

‘so first question,,,, ‘what do you think about jisung???’

you just quietly laugh before you start talking

‘i watch his videos all the time! he’s crazy talented so if you don’t already watch him,,, what r u doing ! plus he’s so awkward that its endearing and i dont know, hes cute or whatever’ and then you wink at the camera

when you post this video jisung watches it

and then when he gets to that part of the video about that question abt him

HE BLUSHES CAUSE OF YOUR WINK

‘jisung why are you red’

‘nothing go away’

so after a few weeks all of it dies down

people still think yall would b cute together

but its more mellow 

then ! jisung posts a pic on twt saying that he’ll have a special collab posted on yt soon! 

and the picture is of two pairs of legs LMAO 

everyone is just ??? cause who could it b

no one suspects its you cause you two ‘havent interacted’ for weeks 

what they don’t know is that you and jisung actually started to talk more! 

so much to the point where you guys are doing a surprise dance collab

hehahhehskdfh

so when jisung drops that youtube video

everyone is screaming, crying, wigless

cause your guys’ dynamic really does go well together

after that you two hang out a lot and he becomes part of your yt videos a lot

vice versa with you in his

everyone loves the both of you its really heart warming cause everyone can see how whipped you two are for each other just not,,, you guys smh

so!!!! its been like months and you can confidently say that jisung is part of your life

and you may or may not of developed a crush on him

he may or may not have developed a crush on you too

but you dont say anything

oh my god open your ears blease

anyway

in the comments you could see a lot of them being about the two of you

‘two they're so cute!!!!!!’

‘Blease Date Already’

sometimes you read them and you get so flustered just thinking about it

well one day you’re reading comments and u get a text from jisung

and he's asking if you want to do a q and a video together

since you guys haven’t done one together yet

so you both tweet about it blah blah whatever

when it comes to the filming you guys are loose and comfortable with each other

but then you stumble across this question that makes everything g so a w k w a r d

‘are you guys dating?’

jisung was drinking something but now he's choking and coughing

‘no! we are not dating BUT i do like jisung in that way’ and then you wink

and then you’re just s o casual about it ‘next question says-’

jisung’s heart is going into overdrive

yOu liKe mE OH mY gOd - his mind

‘jisung u ok there bud????’

and he just nods and smiles big to show that he is ok when he is intact /not/ okay

but anyway

you’re done filming and then you start to edit right after

jisung is just occasionally bringing you snacks but

don't think he FORGOT

cause he didn't !

‘y/n, did you really mean it when you said you liked me???’

then you stop clicking and then you look at him with a grin

‘of course i did jisungie!!!! i thought i was obvious mister’ and then you start laughing but then you go back to editing

‘i- uh, just wanted you to k-know that i like you too.’

‘i know’

‘HOW’

‘you’re friends with 6 demons sweetheart i been knew’

and jisung is dumbfounded and embarrassed

but hey at least you like him too hehehe

‘so.... y/n..... what are we???’

and ur just like hm we’ll be whatever you want us to be!

so then he smiles big ‘okay be my s/o’

‘ask me again in a week’ and his smile drops

‘I’M JUST KIDDING’ ASKJDFLASD

anyway now you’re together !!!!!!

so when you upload the video you put in the description box that !!! jisung asked you out while editing the video so yes! you guys are dating

everyone is not surprised but they’re all happy for you guys

but on camera jisung is too shy to do anything like kissing or whatever

the most HE’S ever done is hold your hand or hug you

but you???????? sis u really b out here

you kiss him on the cheeks

everywhere on his face

you smother him with love and he gets sooo shy 

but everyone loves it cause you guys are so cute together

in the comments you get stuff like ‘wow they’re so CUTE makes me wanna throw up- iN A GOOD WAY’

when the dreams see you guys be too couple-y or whatever

‘you guys are children blease stop it’ - probably mark

but anyway!! i don’t think there would be a dull moment cause off and on camera

you guys would be dancing and popping everywhere

like,,,,, music is being played so you or jisung start dancing and the other joins in

i don't know i find yt jisung so wholesome cause he's got talent and him spreading his talent through videos on the inter webs is so cool !

Masterlist

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[franeridart]

what are your thoughts about bakugou and midoriya's relationship? platonic, i mean

I live and die for it, every part of the manga in which that relationship is shown progressing is between my favorite parts of the manga and I’ve reread them a hundred times and cried over them way more than necessary - the battle trial one? yes, the end of terms exam? absolutely yes holy shit, the post-license exam fight? god yes fuck me that’s my absolute fav, the rescue arc? shit yes between all the reasons why that arc’s my fave the change in the deku/baku relationship is definitely a worthy of note one

It’s an interesting relationship, a painful one that’s making both of them grow so so so much, a rivalry they both need to better each other and keep each other straight on the path to become two great, all-around heroes - I’m not sure they’ll ever end up having the type of relationship Izuku has with Todoroki or Bakugou with Kirishima, I don’t think it’s possible for them to be friends like that, they’re just too different to properly fit like that and to avoid stepping on each other’s toes every single day of their lives they’d have to change their core personalities too much, but they did end up being able to coexist (Bakugou’s even giving Deku tips!!!) and I do think they’ll be able to cooperate and support each other in the end. If one day they’ll be able to make fun of each other in a friendly manner and egg each other on and be honest with each other without it escalating into a full blown fight I’d truly be happy, that’s probably my main dream for this whole manga. For them to have a healthy rivalry, one in which they can maybe even laugh together. I think it might happen, I’m waiting for it to happen

Anon said:Hi Fran! I'm obsessed with your BakuShimaNari work. Here's a cute thought to hopefully cheer you up a bit while you're unable to draw: they're all in their early 20s and Denki likes to poke/smooth out the little crease between Bakugo's eyebrows and tease him about getting wrinkles early from all the scowling he does. Bakugo flicks him in the nose and says he's starting to get crows feet from always grinning like an idiot.

Oh my god. Oh my g o d this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Oh my g OD I’m just imagining them doing that and Kiri in the background watching them like they’re most precious thing in the world I’m dying rip me this just made my whole life thank you so much anon *sob*

Anon said:You are wonderful. That BakuKiriKami art just made me cry again after this chapter but I so needed it. I hope your hand heals up quickly!

I hope so too!!!! And thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!!! ;A; tho I’m sorry for having made you cry rip 

Anon said:Maybe Kirishima's hair is like haru from fruits basket, it changes colour when it reaches a certain length, and he decided to either dye the roots to match the long part or the long part to match the roots.

I’m effin laughing my ass off imagining the “you’ll never convince me that hair is natural” scene but with Iida I’m crying

But seriously if his hair did something fancy like that I don’t think the current Kirishima would try to hide it? Hair that naturally grows like that is flashy!

Anon said:KiriBaku, KamiJirou, AshidoSero, u feel me? I personally ship TodoMomo and IzuOcha as well but u know each to their own

tbh I ship all the ships mentioned in this ask to at least a certain degree, so yeah, I definitely feel you haha

Anon said:Fran can i ask why you ship BokuTeruKuroo ? like i understand why you ship BoKuroo, they are friend and so funny and cute with each other but do they have interaction with Terushima ? because i watch the anime and only start reading the manga and there's no interaction between them in it

What a question lmao no, no they never interact with Teru, it’s a crack ship haha I don’t really have a reason to ship it tbh, I just think Teru’s personality would fit nicely with Bo and Kuroo - Teru’s one of my fave characters in Haikyuu and I like shipping my faves around, but he’s interacted with only his teammates and Karasuno so everything else is just crack... I like a whole bunch of Teru ships tbh, bokuroteru is the one I’ve drawn the most for a bit by accident and a bit because they’re the ones with the most entertaining possible dynamics, to me? They’re a bunch of excited silly kids, that’s fun!

Anon said:I am literally in tears over the last chapter when will Horikoshi step away from my sunshine boy and let him rest? This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted Kirishima to have a bigger role in this arc

;-; boi do I feel this ask 

(I still want more of him tho, last time he hadn’t been around for a few weeks I was a complete mess, pls don’t take him away from me again Hori ;A;)

Anon said:Fraannnnn why would you do this I had enough feelings about THIS EXACT SCENARIO and you had to go and make me feel more with your beautiful art How could you

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m taking this as you’ve liked it!!! Which makes me happy tbh haha though I’m sorry for the more pain, that wasn’t my intention #oops thank you anyway, tho!!

Anon said:i wanted to cry bc of ch 143, kiri was amazing and fat was amazing and and .... but really though ...hori just doesn't wanna give it to us, does he ?

I don’t think I’ll ever have Kirishima’s backstory at this point. I’m giving up. I’ll just make up my own version of it. Kirishima’s had a beautiful past with a lot of happiness a great family with loving parents and both older and younger siblings that love him more than they love air, he’s got three pet turtles and a dog and the only reason why he had his hair dyed black was because he went through a really intense goth phase. That’s it, that’s my version, Hori can keep the sadness for himself

(...not please gimme the actual backstory already I’m dying)

Anon said:U ok after ch143, Fran? 'cause I'm not... 😭

...how can anyone love Kirishima and be okay after 143 tbh ;-;

Anon said:your answers to the ask for what would baku get the others ommmmmmg. fran you are AMAZING!! >///

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m happy you liked those omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!

Anon said:I feel so bad abt the new chap bc my boy kiri is gonna hate himself so much abt being '''useless''' even if he wasnt and oh goodness he's going to beat himself up for this forever... i thought hori was gonna give him a sudden 'bout of strength & realization' to beat the enemy, but instead hes getting quite the realistic(which is good but sad) outcome from the fight... hes gonna be so mad with himself while recovering boy pls no u were great ;~;

I really hope something’ll happen and he won’t feel like that, but who knows ;-; on one side it would mean that his character arc still isn’t over, which is a lot more Kiri for me and that’s great, but on the other please don’t make him suffer anymore ;;--;;

Anon said:Though it was kinda 'forced', thank you for drawing mineta. I really liked seeing him in your art style. He's perverted but like Denki he's a good kid as well, too bad most people have him blacklisted. Hopefully that will change in the future. Thanks again ;D

You’re most welcome! As I said once already I don’t really care for Mineta, so including him in stuff when it makes logical sense to isn’t much of a problem for me hah maybe, if I’m lucky, one day he’ll grow as a character and out of the walking trope he is, and that might just mean I’ll start drawing him more by himslef too haha

Anon said:i havent been involved in a fandom for 4 years but now i am and its ur fault with ur gay boys i cant handle all it, fk my life. (ps. love how u draw denki, his hair so floofy, bless u)

!!! Happy you like my take on him!!! :O also I love how you called them “your gay boys” yes, yes they are, my beautiful gay boys hahaha

Anon said:Thanks to you I'm absolutely obsessed with bakushimanari and I can't get out. It's literally???? The cutest friggin thing??? I can't believe I never thought of it before coming across your blog. But now it's my OT3 and!!! Thank you for introducing me to this sweet ship!!! I absolutely adore your art and it inspires/motivates me to make my own fluff filled fanart.

YAY OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!! more bakushimanari fans I can make happen the more I’m happy, tbh!!!! they’re soft and good and happy I wish there’d be more of them around aaahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:you color nicely (｀∇´)

sob thank youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this actually means to me more than you probably thought it would haha rip bless ur soul anon

Anon said: ti adoro bye

GAH non sono certa di meritarmi addirittura un adoro ma!!!!!! grazie ;A;!!!!

[askullandbones]

Hi, thx so much... ugh, where do I start? I hope this doesnt seem too open or anything. Basically, Ive been having some problems with my best friend. Were both in 2nd-year uni and we go to school in diff cities. Weve been close since we started high school. And I love her, and shes usually my goto person to talk to or shoulder to cry on. But the thing is, shes much more social and Im not. She was my only friend in high school and while shes still closest with me she had others. (1/?)

Now in uni she still has tons of friends and I haven't really been able to make any. We havent rlly drifted apart but our convos are mostly limited to FB texts. Shes now rooming with another friend & I just have this crippling fear of being replaced. Bc it would be so much easier for her. And sometimes she does things that are sort of weird. I feel like im always shifting plans to suit her needs. She doesnt respond to half of what I text her. (2/3) (3 is the limit I promise, so sorry!)

Ive also begun a big Undertale fic and Im super excited about it, but even tho I've started posting it she doesnt seem to want to read it, she said she might someitme "if she has time" & "if shes bored." Which hurts. I tried to talk to her abt all this stuff last year, but she seems to have... forgotten. & I feel so bad & dont know how to deal with it, much as i ❤ her i dont always like the way she treats me. Its so hard to tell the line b/w actual worry and bein whiny. (3/4 sorry!!!!)

I know she has her own stuff going on and I try to be there for her but its so hard. Parts of me have stopped caring about her stuff as much as I should which I KNOW is awful of me as a friend, like when she told me the girl she loved didnt love her back, stuff like that, and I just dont know what to do. My loneliness has gone into hyperdrive basically, and its very confusing. Am I just being self pitying? Any advice would mean so so much to me. (4/4 I am SO SORRY for spamming you with this)

Wow this got long. Gonna put it under a cut.

Hey. Hey? First, deep breath. This might seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Trust me.

When you reach this point in your life your whole social dynamic is going to shift into what I’ll call ‘adult friends’. When you went to school it was super easy to make friends (or easier than it is now), because you were put in a small group of people your age and you were basically forced to interact. You might still have some of that in college, but it’s much less forced. The things that held you together with your peers isn’t really guaranteed as much to be there anymore.

First thing you need to tell yourself is that friends typically don’t get ‘replaced’ when you’re older. At least, not if you’ve stopped acting like a kid. Most of the time the friends you had in highschool are just gonna... drift apart. It happens all the time and it’s natural.

And while I can’t relate, I know a lot of people just have a large circle of friends they talk to about various things. Each friend has a different appeal. It’s not so much ‘replacing’ as it is ‘adding’.

Now I won’t speak for your friend, but from what you do mention about her not being flexible and not responding to texts, it could be a whole host of things. Maybe her schedule is just super rigid. Maybe she just forgets to respond to your texts, especially if she’s got about five different other people she’s talking to. Maybe she has nothing to say. Unfortunately these are things you’re probably going to have to talk to her about if they’re bothering you. Friendships thrive on communication.

As for her not getting into your fic... it might hurt? But try not to let it bother you.

When I was getting into Undertale and back on the writing bus I did the same thing with a friend of mine. While she’s always been supportive, she never really wanted to read it even if I asked what she thought, and after awhile I realized it just wasn’t something I could really engage with her back and forth with. She just didn’t know what to ask, didn’t really want to read a subject she knew very little about.

It hurt a little at first, but then I just realized she didn’t have the same interest in it as I did. I just sorta pushed it to the side when it came to talking to her even though it was such a big thing in my life. Instead of saying “I’m working on this Undertale fic omg you wouldn’t believe what--” I’d change how I worded what I wanted to say to be a little less restrictive. Instead I would say “I’m working on some writing and these characters are being--”

See the difference? The second is much more inclusive to someone who has no idea what the fuck Undertale is. They can still engage. I can’t force her to enjoy something I do just like she can’t force me to enjoy something she does.

And no, you are not being self-pitying. You’re worried about a friendship you cherish. You’re worried about how your friend treats you. You’re worried that things are coming between the two of you. You care enough about this friend that you don’t want to lose them, but that also means you’re going to have to work on it. You’re gonna have some awkward, intense moments coming up even if they’re scary.

You gotta be brave.

What you need to do is think. Think about your friendship. You mentioned that you think she treats you bad sometimes. Make a list of the things she does that make you feel bad. Can’t come up with an answer as to why she might do these things? Ask her. Bring it up. It’s scary, but if she values your friendship she’ll listen and you two can work things out.

But friendship is a two-way street. There are ways you can improve too. Find interests you share. Try not to feel bad when she doesn’t like the same things anymore, you’re both starting to grow up and get different interests.

Set boundaries and stick to them. You say you’re always shifting your plans and not the other way around. Stop. Put your foot down. Say no, you can’t shift these around. Don’t bend to her whims all the time. Set a hard line. She will work with you and bend her own plans too if your friendship is valued.

Most importantly though, as scary as it is, don’t be afraid that you two might just be drifting apart. A lot of friendships end after highschool and most of them aren’t because of fights. They’re just... from drifting apart. It might seem like you won’t find more friends, but you will.

I’ve been friends with the same girl since I was a teenager. She lives in Canada. I love her so, so much. When I got a divorce and she started college again we kinda just... didn’t talk much. We used to talk every single day but we didn’t anymore and that bothered the fuck out of me. I thought we were drifting apart, and in a way we kinda have.

She has a boyfriend she plays games with a lot, games that I don’t enjoy. I like to roleplay and write and play games that she doesn’t enjoy. She’s busy as fuck and I’m absolutely incompetent at conversations half the time. We don’t have all the same interests anymore and sometimes we go a full week without saying a word to each other, and we both realize things have changed a bit, but it hasn’t changed how we feel about one another. We still love each other a lot.

College is when you’re going to start to realize that, maybe, a lot of your friends you make are gonna be online. Chatrooms. Games. Writing. Roleplaying. They’re gonna scatter the globe. I have friends from Canada to the states to Indonesia and Germany. I visit the friends within an hour of me maybe... once or twice a month. That’s fine with me. It doesn’t bother me much. I talk to one friend I had in highschool maybe... once every... three months? I don’t hate them, I just don’t have much in common with them anymore. It happens.

But I should wrap this up.

Breathe. Take a nice, deep breathe. This isn’t the end of the world even if it’s scary and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it. You’ll survive even if the outcome is the worst thing you can imagine.

Friendships change over time.

Communicate your feelings.

Evaluate your own role in the relationship and if you need to make some changes too.

Set hard boundaries.

If you need more advice, I’m here.