#i havent stopped thinking about this piece since i first saw it

[forgottencity310]

The reason I finally bit the bullet and joined tumblr.

Ahem. . .

Self promo time! On Patreon you can order one color sketch per month for $8 or two color moderately detailed and with background illustrations per month for $20 so, Don't miss it!

Also, reopening commissions ❤️‍🔥

[filipinoizukuu]

what comes next though? (MHA ch. 413)

// major spoilers for mha ch. 413 since its leaks, so please stop reading if you arent quite caught up. i havent written one of these in a LONGGG while lmao.

ANYWAY, with all that being said.... this week's leaks huh?

We saw it coming a long time ago, we speculated it to hell and back, we made aus and fics, and now it's finally here. The conclusion we've reached and the one that's been hinted at since the release of Heroes Rising in 2019:

bnha is going to end with deku giving up one for all and becoming quirkless.

(LOTS of words under the cut -- youve been warned.)

For those who are a little lost; the basic premise of the ending we are hurtling towards is that Kudou (the 2nd user of ofa) has a plan to take down Shigaraki. With AfO dead and gone + Shigaraki becoming so powerful he is essentially invincible -- theres no other choice for the heroes other than destroying him inside out; the plan being the equivalent of charging a battery so much it explodes.

the way they're going to go about this is by essentially, feeding Shigaraki bits of One for All until he's given all of it -- then allowing the vestiges of the previous wielders to create a massive revolt similar to what SnS did until they can successfully tear him apart from inside the "quirk realm" and shut him out. Kudou volunteers to go next since danger sense has already been taken, and if Shigaraki uses gearshift again after Deku already used it twice, Tomura's body will likely shutdown and receive twice the backlash Deku does when he uses kudou's quirk.

(sidenote: funny as fuck that deku only understood once kudou equated the strategy to bkg throwing papers at him. bro stupid af.)

its a sensible(ish) idea. one that seems plausible given the context of the last hundred or so chapters with heroes like Hawks and SnS having their quirks revolt against both AfO and Shigaraki in a way that makes it clear that its not uniquely OfA that animates the souls of peoples quirks. Its inherent. Quote, Nana Shimura, "romantic" even.

(let it be known though that i think hori absolutely did not plan on delving into this plot point as much as he is now. ill explain in a bit, but heroes rising was 100% a major factor of why he moved in this direction.)

That being said, the conclusion of the plan (and subsequently, the major plot of bnha) is as follows: Deku gives up One for All to Shigaraki. One for All unites with All for One within Shigaraki and destroys it in one final clash between Yoichi and his brother. The break in the barrier of Shigaraki's hatred will part, letting him find the consciousness of Shimura Tenko behind it after years.

Shigaraki dies, taking OfA and AfO down with him,

and then Deku is quirkless once more.

Sad conclusion aside for now, I firmly believe that no matter what way you look at it; Deku was always meant to end the story without a quirk. Given some of the original drafts of bnha where Deku was never supposed to be given a quirk in the first place, this is clearly unsurprising. What's more is my favorite piece of information relative to katsuki and deku's character development:

the fact that heroes rising was (one of the) ideas for the original ending of bnha.

a refresher for some of you: heroes rising is about class 1a going to the isolated village of nabu island and defending it against an upcoming big bad villain named "nine" with a quirk that is essentially a scaled down version of all for one. katsuki and deku eventually resolve the conflict together via brute force by deku giving katsuki ofa, them rushing in while the quirk is transferring and both of them have it, and then ultimately defeating nine at the end. the movie then of course circles back on deku losing one for all, undoing that consequence by saying the transfer never completed bc ofa chose him over katsuki and they all move on to the endeavor agency arc with katsuki remembering absolutely nothing of the final battle.

many fans often misunderstand one of horikoshi's quotes about the movie in that it was, without a doubt, the original ending of bnha. for the sake of accuracy, that is not what horikoshi really said; what he ACTUALLY said was something closer and to the tune of of how it was "one OF the endings" he planned on using for bnha, but his original idea for how the story ends "has not changed one bit."

obviously disregarding the cop out where ofa sticks back to izuku in order for the series to continue as normal; this can only confirm that bnha was going to end with midoriya izuku quirkless whether katsuki was involved or not.

so what's different this time?

its hard to figure out how far horikoshi had planned the ending of bnha with heroes rising's prototype conclusion in mind. if heroes rising never pulled through and horikoshi had planned on bnha ending with the shared ofa transfer and katsuki continuing deku's legacy -- then that means katsuki wouldve died an early death because of all might's confirmation that only quirkless people can hold on to one for all without dying young, meaning he either intended on katsuki dying soon after the story ends or only planned that plot point after heroes rising was released.

the plot as well of heroes rising's conclusion cannot have been thought of all that early on because of ANOTHER tidbit of information that changes perspective of the entire series: in that,

bakugou katsuki was never supposed to be a major character to begin with. (keep an eye on this link; i reference this interview a LOT)

he was not supposed to have an arc. he was not supposed to become a major focal point of the series. he was not meant to be the hero he is in the story today. bakugou katsuki was not written with the intention of being a major narrative this late into the story -- instead originally only existing as a character that deku would surpass within the first few arcs.

but then katsuki cried, and deku apologized, and then opened his big fat mouth, and then told him a secret he didnt even tell his own mother -- and suddenly bakugou katsuki was not just another footnote in deku's story, but a legitimate character that grew and created one of the most loved (and hated) character turnarounds in shonen history. he started of as a literal EXTRA before snowballing into the very same character horikoshi decided would defeat all for one, the original scariest antagonist of the entire series. someone not even ALL MIGHT could defeat.

but circling back, yeah. heroes rising was definitely not the ending horikoshi thought of first, nor was it the ending he thought of last. ultimately, it was simply another route he couldve taken into wrapping up deku's fate into what it was (probably) always meant to be:

deku was gonna lose one for all no matter what.

it's kind of fitting, honestly -- for this to be the ultimate conclusion to the series. it makes the most sense, since what sent deku down this path so many years ago was his mother apologizing to deku for being quirkless; as if being quirkless meant he was born inferior to those who had quirks. people, after all according to deku's famous beginning monologue, are not born equal.

Even still, i thought to note: deku never stopped wanting to be a hero. we all know this, obviously. this was his driving force -- but then when you REALLY think about the implications, you have to ask. what the heck was deku even planning to do?!

he had ideas. he had hope. he wrote notebooks for the future and thought of his costume for being a hero -- but not once do i remember him writing about his hero experience as if he was suddenly going to develop a quirk. he was planning on saving people quirkless -- an extremely interesting motivation especially when he couldve so easily chosen to walk the path of being a doctor or engineer instead if he wanted to save people so badly. its a story about conviction, about doing the things you wanna do in the way you wanna do it no matter what ANYONE else says and hey wait a minute that sounds familiar

it doesnt quite read that way at first, especially because of how izuku almost listened to all might about "being realistic" when the first met and nearly gave up on becoming a hero entirely, but izuku is a lot similar to katsuki in the sense that no matter what gets in his way -- he is determined to achieve his dreams in the way HE CHOOSES, and not the way that is more "convenient".

even when you look at just his name, "deku" in the way that uraraka had interpreted it (dekiru -- "you can do it!") and the way deku reexplains it to katsuki in deku vs kacchan 1 ("the deku that doesn't give up!") you can so easily tell that deku from the very beginning has only ever needed the slightest push to pursue being a hero, quirk-or-not-be-damned. hell, we even see a glimpse of this possibility in the sports festival race when deku absolutely DECIMATES not just bakugou but also TODOROKI (as well as every single other damn student participating in the festival) with nothing but robot scraps and his balls of steel. it just so happens that until the promise of one for all, no such encouragement or push was ever given to deku in his pursuit of heroicism, most especially in comparison to katsuki who had been receiving praise and validation for his goals his whole life.

i'd argue that deku's conviction is even stronger than katsuki in a way no other person seems to recognize (except maybe katsuki himself). katsuki had received only positive feedback and zero competition for his goals growing up while deku received nothing but discouragement. both of them kept the conviction of being a hero for TEN YEARS; neither wavering til the day of the sludge incident.

that aside; what comes next?

we know the story after that. deku gets his quirk, he goes to school, he fights, he drops out, he fights some more, and now he's standing before shigaraki tomura with every quirk of one for all unlocked and over twice the power that all might had in his prime -- fully knowing he's about to lose EVERYTHING in order to defeat shigaraki.

this is deku we're talking about. he doesn't care. he knows the implications and what that will mean for his dream -- but his goal right now is in front of him. his goal is shigaraki, consumed by hatred, threatening to take down the world izuku loves most into a pit of misery and decay because society failed people like them. does he care? probably. will he refuse to give up his power if it means not saving the world and fulfilling one for all's purpose? absolutely not.

deku has made all might's quirk his own, but one for all does not belong to him. it belongs to yoichi. and kudou. and bruce and nana and all of the other users who built that quirk for generations in hopes that one day, someday, someone would be able to yield it all and bring down the monstrosity that created it in the first place. deku will not hesitate, but also deku knows what he will lose.

i have... a few things i dislike about this.

Admittedly, i do think that this is a better resolution than the simple brute strength approach of Heroes Rising. For one, while i do love heroes rising with my entire heart and soul, i firmly believe it would not have been a satisfying conclusion to the core lessons and teachings bnha tries to impart throughout the story. simply outnumbering and outpowering afo/shigaraki would not be enough to close yoichi's story and one for all -- much less the story of shigaraki himself as tenko, the boy consumed by hatred.

Still, this new ending that horikoshi has laid out leaves me with more questions; as well as large expectations for how izuku's character will close out. its complicated, because deku's evolution and development is subtle and intricate in a way i havent seen from other shonen protagonists and i worry about doing it justice.

but most of my problems have to do with bakugou katsuki.

(aint that the truth)

i know i mentioned that bakugou was never intended to be a major character, but i want it to be known that that was only in the beginning. season 1, maybe even season 2 -- but horikoshi had said it best himself in that bakugou katsuki, against his permission, had gained a life of his own and inserted himself into the very grain of mha's story. you cannot deny this.

he is the series deuteroganist inarguably. one of the most beloved characters and one of the most attentively-written development arcs in the whole series. katsuki in and of himself embodies major themes in bnha that make it so that ditching his development and impact last minute after defeating all for one would reflect poorly upon the conclusion of the story itself. he and deku are intertwined in arcs -- even if they do have separate paths at the end of the day. katsuki is the one izuku told about the quirk. the one who followed izuku during the paranormal liberation arc. the one who understands one for all and is determined to learn about it more than anyone else barring all might and deku himself. the one who is closer to izuku than anyone else.

it can't be over for their arc, no matter what way you see it. friends? rivals? hero partners? what comes next, when the smoke clears? what comes next when izuku gives shigaraki hell, like katsuki told him to?

katsuki's atoned. we accept that, have known it since chapter 285 and have continued to know it until the iconic apology in the rain. that's not where katsuki stops however, because we know that its not all about begging for izuku's forgiveness nor atoning for himself. its about catching up to izuku -- the last words he uttered before shigaraki crushed his heard say it all.

"can i still catch up to you, izuku?"

since the moment katsuki died, we've been given a metric ton of material to read through what he and izuku have become in the story. firstly, the point of katsuki being the person closest to izuku. what does this mean? what does that say about katsuki? is he supposedly the person izuku loves the most? the person izuku believes in the most? i'd argue these two criterion would easily fit his mother or all might a lot better -- not his childhood friend turned bully turned rival turned barely-friend. katsuki sure as hell didn't believe he was the person closest to izuku before shigaraki brought it up as evidenced by the fact that he let IIDA bring deku back to UA -- and neither does izuku as far as i bet. what was shigaraki's intention?

katsuki heard that statement. he hasnt said anything, but he definitely heard it. its an open end that is left entirely unanswered PRECISELY because katsuki fought afo on his own and izuku is about to tackle shigaraki without katsuki by his side. if it was heroes rising's ending wherein they would both fight shigaraki and take him down together -- then that statement would easily be answered by how their strength and bond is the one thing that gave them an upper hand in the final battle. other than that... i'm not entirely sure how they're going to have katsuki and izuku acknowledge katsuki's brief "death" and Tomura's reasons thereof.

But fine, lets ignore that for the time being and move on to what happened when Katsuki came back.

katsuki answered izuku's cry for help. he came back to life in the last moment to save all might when izuku was too busy fighting tooth and nail to win. they are the penultimate example of two sides of a hero; the win and save. not one without the other. every single parallel thus far between izuku and katsuki have always been to draw attention over and over to each of their stubborn convictions to win and save under all might's tutelage.

katsuki has chosen to prioritize winning and fighting over saving and rescuing over. and over. and over. and over again. at every single opportunity from the very beginning of the series. in usj, in sports festival, in the final exam, every choice he's made up until --

chapter 285 - bakugou katsuki: rising.

he chooses to save izuku in this instant. as he says, his body moved on its own -- or in other words, he felt like how izuku has always did since the sludge villain incident. this is bakugou katsuki catching up to midoriya izuku. its katsuki realizing that he needs to save so deku can win, and actually being okay with that for once. it's a major turning point in his character that clearly tells even horikoshi that there's absolutely no way katsuki can go back to being a side character within the plot of bnha after a development like this.

and then, after this instance, we notice it happen again and again. katsuki choosing to save to win instead of winning to save. katsuki protecting best jeanist against the nomu. katsuki coming to chase after izuku when he runs away from UA. katsuki (in a way) saving aoyama when its revealed he's the traitor. hell, katsuki saving ALL MIGHT as soon as izuku -- the savior -- begs someone to save his idol when he can't because he's too focused on trying to win.

so what changed?

what changed since the moment of chapter 285 was katsuki accepting his fears and anxieties. katsuki letting go of his aversity to working with deku. the reason katsuki started accepting the path of saving to win was because he TRUSTED deku to win where he couldnt.

this is katsuki accepting that him and izuku already surpassed all might together.

but katsuki said it himself. it's not over. he accepts that him and izuku are finally on equal footing -- hell, he admits he's the one who needs to play catch up. it's not about katsuki conceding to weakness, but katsuki being able to trust in izuku to finish the job. the point is that they both will break and break until they win the way they choose to, and the other will be there to win while they save and save while they win. moreso, katsuki still wants to be number 1. he still wants to catch up and surpass deku. he wants to fight by deku's side. but ... as we've established:

deku will be quirkless soon.

my problem (or, i guess, curiosity?) with the path horikoshi seems to be going down for the end of this story is what happens to this end? what happens to the wonder duo? i believe in a quirkless deku plot as much as the next person -- but any reader would find it easy to see that once deku loses one for all, he will not be nearly as efficient nor quick nor capable of a hero as he once was. especially not against a developed katsuki with mastery over cluster explosions.

he will lose one for all and he won't ever be the pro-hero he was going to be before the final war arc. katsuki will get number 1 surely, but will he be happy about this resolution? i don't think so. All Might himself had said it when Katsuki spoke to him about his relationship to Izuku; that the twin stars reminded All Might very much of his own rivalry with Endeavor and the bitter feelings it created.

endeavor expressed regret and a bitter end to their rivalry; the acknowledgement of the bitter truth that the only reason he was the number one hero is because all might lost his own quirk. he knew he didn't deserve the mantle all might had held for a long time before him. he knew that he was still only just playing catch up with the wisdom and understanding of heroicism that all might had in his heart from the beginning. endeavor will likely retire from being a pro-hero unsatisfied with this truth and his own victory at becoming the no.1 at the very end -- never feeling like he truly surpassed all might of his own accord. both enji and toshinori -- victims of their destiny.

is this the fate that will befall katsuki once izuku is quirkless for good?

There are many questions I have in wake of the recent chapter. The end of the series is here, and that's a whole can of worms i haven't touched in and of itself. We all saw this coming; some of us know that this was always going to be Izuku's fate since the beginning of the series. But now that it's more than just izuku's character involved in his dreams of being a hero -- i dont know how this series is going to conclude and if it will be satisfying to any means. there's a lot of questions i still have; bakugous arc feeling incomplete ever since he came back to life, the conclusion of all might and one for all's dreams now that they will disappear altogether. where does deku go after this? where does bakugou go? where do any of them?

i guess i gotta wait and see lol

[scream4ash]

tw 4 addiction, talks of self harm, talks of disordered eating, mental illness, self destructive tendencies, just overall me being a piece of shit.

hey, guys. ash here. i guess i wanna apologize for just dissapearing. when i had originally started posting, and decided i was going to be a writer i was sober, n in a better headspace. since then i have relapsed, n fallen into the cycle of addiction n destruction n just overall have not been in a good place.

i have struggled with substance abuse since i was around 13, mainly being alcohol or weed due to easy access. more recently in january of this year i had started abusing antihistamines. that way, i could tell myself it was just medicine, there was no harm in what i was doing. for those of you who don’t know, antihistamines are anti-allergy meds.

on march 17, i had overdosed. my girlfriend had found me on my bedroom floor seizing out. i was brought to the hospital via ambulance, n released the same day. i would love to say i stopped, n i realized the way im going would kill me, but i didnt. i had overdosed again 8 days later. this time when i was brought in to the er i was put on suicide watch. then i wouldve denied any attempts at harming myself, but deep down i didnt care the outcome. though im just now realizing i never really cared about what’d happen to me, but i think part of me always knew. i knew the consequences, i decided that god shall decide my fate.

i was then transferred from the er to a psychiatric unit where i was treated for depression n bipolar disorder.

when i was released a week later i decided it would be a new chapter. i had gotten a job, i was sober, n most importantly people saw me.

that lasted for around two months. the euphoria i felt had all come crashing down. i had slowly rejoined the forgotten, my own friends forgetting about me. i had fell back into isolation n self-hatred. i was fading out again, n no one noticed. no one noticed when i had started skipping meals, or the way my body physically could not allow itself to keep a single bite of food down, or the lack of sleep, even the empty look in my eyes. i have yet again fallen into the hand of addiction, seeking comfort from what i know is no longer there, what may have never been there in the first place. i have barely left my house, only going outside to walk my dog. i can no longer recognize who i see in the mirror. more recently i havent even been able to get out of bed to go to work.

i feel the need to clarify that i am 19 years old, the life i am living is not the life to live. i am actually all alone in the world. guys, if u, or a friend, or a parent, or a loved one, hell even ur worst enemy. if anyone u know, or may know of is struggling with addiction, let them know you are there. let them know that you havent gave up, youre still fighting for them. if ur thinking about trying drugs, or alcohol, hell even weed. don’t. take it from me. dont.

i havent been very active on here, n i am sorry. i am going to reopen my requests and start posting short works/blurbs. i will also get to the requests in my inbox, n those will be filled as blurbs. again, i’m sorry 4 bailing on you guys.

also so super sorry for the sob story, idk. kinda feels good to get this shit of my chest. idk, makes me feel like u guys know me kinda.

@calumikey @ashen-char @f4ngtooth @theactualqueenelizabeth @brittanysnowsgf @iheartambss @phorsphyn @spiderb00 @allsovls @jennaortegaswifey @liaisbaeee @xxxninjaxxx23 @chaejiberry @nohumanityhope @blakeroni @mm-myluv @amberfreemanmygirlfriend @lilahaga @mikeymisser @carolcunha7 @not-alesha @burninghotlava @shaunashipmanism @chaoticghosthoagiegoop @paigesbabymama @spidersareskrunkly @ghostampire @cursedashes @yveslish

tried to tag all of my followers, or as many that it’d tag. idk, i really want this to be seen.

[fairys-dream]

wrote a vent piece using origins victor. yea.

actually its short enough i can probably just put it here too soooo under the cut ⤵️⤵️⤵️

When his Father died, Victor stole a pair of his jeans.

He went through his Fathers drawers and took it.

They were baggy at first, but with age, he grew into them.

The eventual rips and stains were his, but the jeans were still once worn by his Father.

He didn’t ever want to become Him.

Never wanted to hurt Jimmy like he had been at the hands and words of his Father.

But when he yelled, he heard His loud voice. And when he hit, he felt His fists as his own.

Jimmy never fought back.

Never even struggled the times he tightened the grip around his throat.

Victor wished he would.

He ached for him to show some hint of them being the same, selfishly, so he wouldn’t have to feel so guilty.

But part of him barely even registered it was wrong.

Jimmy was his family, his friend, and they needed eachother. They could never leave eachother, so why worry?

When the moment came that finally pushed Jimmy enough to fight back, he could tell the kid was giving his all. It wasn’t enough, but he was trying.

Victor laughed as he took the punches Jimmy threw at him, which only urged the other on more, to Victors delight. He wanted to see that same rage he showed the night he killed their father.

But, as the tears started to fall down Jimmys face, he knew it was time to stop.

As much as he internally wanted to keep pushing him, to keep feeding his own ego, he knew better than to make him cry any harder.

Anger Victor could deal with, but it pained his heart to see his little brother upset.

His father never seemed to notice anyones tears, but Victor saw Jimmys, and that gave him a sense of pride, even when being the rare cause of them in the first place.

Victor wrapped his arms around his brother held him close, nuzzling his face into his wild hair as a silent apology. And, as usual, Jimmy held him back just as tight.

The jeans he wore would always be his Fathers, regardless of the years spent owning them.

His genes would always be His.

Notes:

while at work today, i was thinking about how even though i had ripped holes into the jeans my father gave me as a teenager (that i was currently wearing and still wearing as i write this), they were still technically once his, even though i had made them my own.

so i put my thoughts of my own daddy issues + older brother issues through origins victor.

i dont remember much from my childhood or teen years, so i did my best to remember the reasoning behind the things i did and the ways i felt. i would like to think i was more good than bad, as we were once eachothers closest friend, but i really can only remember small bits and pieces. victor had a different experience since he had to actually take care of jimmy, and i sometimes wonder if i would have been nicer if that were the case with me and my younger brother. im better now, stopped being mean when i was 14, but we dont hangout anymore. my father never hit me, as far as i can remember, so im not sure where i got all the violence from….he was always blind to my tears though. that i do remember.

i had dinner with my father today. i havent lived with him in years and he feels like a stranger now. as we were leaving, he asked if the rips in my jeans were made by me. i said yes, and that the jeans used to be his. he didnt remember giving me them, but i swore that he did. thats probably symbolical for something.

[hertwood]

dts s2 e4-6

e4: -sorry seb's "says who?" at the start of episode (in response to ferrari telling him what to do) GAGGED sets the tone for the episode PERFECTLY -mattia talks about monza the way indy drivers talk abt the 500 lmao -the whole "there is no #1 driver" bit makes me think hey r there parallels to be drawn between sebchal here and alonso/hamilton in 2007? just thinkin about it -before i get to far i want to share some thoughts: when i first watched this episode with NO prior knowledge it was rly hard to follow. after i heard about the specifics of the ferrari engine controversy (cheating), for the second watch i remember this episode suddenly clicking for me! this episode would've benefitted so much from a will buxton monologue explaining the juicy details for a newish viewer. i understand that there might have been pressure from ferrari to not include those details but it is such a shame, to have such a core piece of information missing and viewers have to try to piece together the narrative without it :/ -HI LAURA WINTER -very much get the impression that seb is like the family member who notices the generational trauma and going hey maybe we should change things to stop that and gets exiled from the family instead :) those sure are the vibes -HI CHARLOTTE -im sorry the back to back "seb has a lack of confidence with the car. and charles' car is not performing" like theyre the same car but you're gonna frame it like its seb's fault but not charles's? mattia choke -at the part where they're explaining the engine controversy--i still stand by wishing they explained it better and EARLIER because i think its much needed context for the first half of the episode too -at the end of the day all i need to know is that seb clearly thought that what ferrari did was wrong, and thats all i need to know if he says so then i believe it!! -the way netflix is trying to tease like ~oh imagine all the different teams he could go to! who wouldnt want him~ is so cheeky but also i NEED to know what this was like live when yall didnt know where he was going i'm JEALOUS i wish i got to be there for it all to unfold -double ferrari dnf at monza must've been crazy to watch live too lmao -seb zigzagging through all the photographers on his bicycle. love him -seb announcing his new seat the same weekend as ferrari's 1000th is crazy ex girlfriend levels of unhinged (pos). like posting ultrasound pics the same day as your ex's wedding type of shit. no one does it like him -sorry im incapable of watching ferrari episodes without writing an essay. hope you enjoyed

ep5: -the great daniel/cyril divorce -i cant remember who said it or where i saw it but when i first got into f1 properly someone talked about how Different things might've been if there hadn't been covid--since the season was delayed, the contract was signed before reneault could have any races with daniel that year--so daniel could only make that decision based off 2019 races -the jump clearly did not work out for him but alpine also went to shit too. but if cyril hadn't left who knows. i think all of daniel's choices make sense honestly!!!! he just got very unlucky -anyway their dynamic is insane and they deserve soooo many more fic than they have!! -"it's probably a bit like being dumped by a girlfriend, but she hasn't moved out of the house yet." christian did eat with this one. unfortunately -i love cyril but him being the one to actually complain about the pink mercedes feels very..... my wife is divorcing me so i'm gonna sue my neighbors over the property line -"i hate those fucking pink cars" oh i need to gif that. i'll be watching and i'll just KNOW like yeah that needs to be in the next gifset -i cant believe i havent mentioned it yet renault colors are the BEST daniel has ever looked i miss having yellow n black on the grid. maybe thats why alpine went to shit they gave up the best color combo they could have

e7: -pierre redemption episode!!! i think this is one of the best episodes ever tbh. very cathartic movie plotline really ticks all the boxes -HI PATRICK -ok but the fact that dts NEVER covered alex's podiums w red bull after milking the shit out of his missed podiums is a hate crime to me personally -onboards going through eau rouge are scary af. -filled with rage at how christian horner chews up new drivers and spits them up (even though its all so predictable at this point. no one will ever live up to the golden boy) -i remember seeing people complain that the williams family leaving wasn't given focus in dts, if anyone has any fun video essays about that i'd love to watch! -i do take issue with will buxton saying "red bull can't admit they made a mistake (with alex)" i think red bull made a mistake with promoting ANYONE too early and expecting too much from them, but not in a pierre v alex way. neither of them were given enough time or support by red bull to flourish. and they lowkey admitted that recently lmao -but it /is/ cathartic to know that red bull have tried to get alex back since then and he doesn't need his toxic ex in his life anymore no thanks ✌️ -i just know i'll LOVE watching this race in full -they set up the suspense so well for the end of the race -and it really is. if carlos had won this race with mclaren, his first win, how different would the trajectory of his career been -ANYWAY theres something that just always gets me about men holding all their emotions in right until they cross the finish line and they finally allow themselves to feel the emotions. (recent example that made me SOB was theo when he won f2) i also love how much it clearly meant to the alphatauri guys in the garage. last time that happened was with seb for torro rosso yeah? so its clearly so so special

[sixosix]

I know it's been a while since Sleight of Hand was posted but I wanna ramble about something I noticed during a recent reread now that I have knowledge of 4.1 quests.

The raw panic he has when he catches up to the reader makes me think that it falls in line with how he acted in the fortress in regard to Freminet and Lynette: his family. Which is insane considering the short amount of time they know each other as compared to his family. This guy falls in love so fast and hard that he is the world record holder for those categories by a vast margin.

In both situations is the fact he is losing someone close, someone important; granted he is losing them in different ways. His family and the person he loves. Both times he is not composed/ hiding behind his act (or just barely) and is (or at least appears) to be almost single-minded driven to get them back. With his family, he was absolutely willing to go up against the Duke to fight for them back (granted he could have just accepted the deal to contact the Knave but that's a whole different thing about Lyney shhhh) and with reader he ran frantically across the city just for the slim chance he may be able to make it before they leave. That uncertainty/unclear target to focus on (unlike the duke who he could focus on fighting/stopping/convincing, not to mention he may be in a mission mindset as well) may even be a reason why he is so panicked and frantic as compared to what happens in the Fortress. Not to mention the whole falling in love thing prob isn't something he does often, so that's a whole new variable thrown into the equation.

Not only does this new connection make me giggle because wow look at this man speed run falling in love but also makes me wonder what his thoughts could have been when he found the empty room and even as he was trying to catch reader before it was too late. He is smart, so he absolutely figured out the truth but was his first thought wildly off course? Did he assume the worst(hurt in some way) due to what he had seen as part of the Fatui and his past? Did he have an instant rush of relief knowing he made it in time? Was he even calm enough to try to string together a few ideas of what to do if he made it as he was running? Or did he come tunnel-focused with the singular goal of just 'find them'? It's interesting to think about.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

i havent played the latest archon quest myself and only learned the lore secondhand so i havent rlly thought about it? honestly i wrote that long fic barely knowing ANYTHING about lyney and how he handles situations—it felt like i was just guessing everything and my only clues were a dialogue or two LMFAO

but this is so interesting to think about!!! my intention with ‘ lyney visiting an empty room ‘ was that he walks in there like a kicked puppy and comes out frantic and wild. he is very smart and hes definitely remembered you insisting that you never planned on staying so he pieced it together immediately

and yes youre ABSOLUTELY right. the reason why hes so frantic and all over the place when he caught up to you was because he didnt even know if you were still there, if he didnt make it in time. the entire time he was thinking ‘no no no please’ he was not at all calm while running lol. his mind would have most likely blanked when he saw you still there and he couldve just dropped on the floor in relief

“the whole falling in love thing prob isnt something he does often” YEAH EXACTLY!!! i see lyney as a romantic but in that fic i like to think hes never been infatuated in that way ever before and it snowballed into something wayyy more when u started getting close

ITS SO JNTERESTING to think abouut the connections youve made WOW thank you so so much for sharing im always down to hear your thoughts!!!!

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

[walnutcookie]

PLS TELL ME ABOUT DRAGON PROPHECY AU PLSSS its my fav au of yours its very interestjng :)

GGWAAGAKHD im just gonna spoil it,, I was planning on making an animation and have people guess the lore but like its veen a year and i STILL havent made it .

i think its pretty clear that this is vaguely based off of wings of fire (i promise rhat was unintentional)

eclair is reading his favorite book, an enchanted one that generates knowledge over time . This one is about dragons!

and to his surprise, theres a page describing a prophecy for june 26th its like um

on the 26th of june

under the rising moon

the dragons of legend will call

and magic city will fall

guess what! its june 19th. eclair runs into espressos office because hes panicking and he has the closest office and espresso is just like . What the fuck why did you burst into my office screaming i am working. go bother someone else about your silly fairy tales. yeah he doesnt think the prophecy is real (esclair divorce arc /JOKE)

the days are getting closer and closer and eclair is losing his mind!!!!!he doesnt tell anyone else about it cause hes scared theyll react like espresso and call it silly. on june 26th eclair keeps looking up at the sky nervously and espressos like Dude chill nothing will happen [gets eaten by a dragon]

side note ! said dragon was earl grey purely because i wanted to put dragon features into their hom! design. no idea how they became a dragon but they did,, so now theres about 10 dragons flapping about parfaedia and wrecking it to pieces! (dont ask why i guess they were in a silly goofy mood)

eclair is losing his shit he just saw his coworker and friend and maybe crush DIE IN FRONT OF HIM WHAT THE FUCK!!!! latte is desperately trying to help creampuff figure out a way to stop the carnage and almond is bawling because his daughter got smushed into a walnut pancake . eclair turns to his library and searches through every spellbook he can find in a desperate attempt to fix things, and in a very shady and not so safe book he finds a spell to turn the user into a dragon ! he doesnt bother reading the warnings and spends literally hours and hours straight trying this spell desperately and probably passing out from exhaustion a few times i mean . he knows magic but not too much magic. but eventually he gets it and he turns into a dragon yippee!!!! also since all of yhe dragons have they/them pronouns . Spell that nonbinarys your gender (and turns uou into a dragon)

they go up to the dragons and the dragons are like Yo nice scales lol. u should hang out with us and eclair is like Oh.....well ummmm.......it cant hurt right. i will learn more about the dragons like a spy so i can defeat them better. (its not like they could take 10 dragons on all by themself anyways)

flash forward parfaedia is ruined. the dragons have left and returned to their homes, the surviving parfaedians have flocked to other cities and kingdoms. (roguefort fled on the first night the dragons came)

latte and cream puff (and almond but hes a ruined mess and they basically just drag him along) want to confront the dragons and maybe make peace or figure out what happened idk they find tea knight and all go to this cave in a mountain together ! they enter this HUGE library and theyre a little confused until Surprise!!!! theres eclair theyre a dragon now . everyones like What the fuck happened to you and eclair goes im better now :3 and says fuck you claws lattes eyes out and then bites tea knights head off . and then they just go home no happy ending

[puppysdog]

I know nothing of your OCs tell me about them

ive got way too many so im gonna talk about the final girls ocs i have from my horror movies !

first is Áine from Goldberg. shes one of my favorites since shes the first final girl i came up with. she was really fun to make bc i realized i didnt have any “weird girl” ocs which was a tragedy. college aged, lived with her bestfriend izzy (pre death) and her two closest friends after. shes got copper curly hair (like the irish actress jade jordan), big brown eyes and glasses, and the same set of five tshirts and cargo pants from high school. shes super into horror movies and murder mysteries, and is over confident in her abilities which continuously puts her in dangerous situations, but also helps her get out of them. she ends up with the killer at the end of the movie which i think was a fun turn on the final girl trope

for the movie The Summoning in the Forest (title in progress still) both Alex and Ranger Butch Ryder are the final girls. ive always been a big fan of unwilling mentor/younger character with no family left type tropes so i thought what better way to do so than with a butch lesbian and a just-came-out-two-months-ago 17yr old. Alex loses her sister during a ritual summoning to try to being back their parents, and accidentally unleashes a demon in the forest. Fire Ranger Butch Ryder and her dog Sapphie live out in a near by fire tower for the season, and end up taking Alex in while trying to stop this demon from setting her entire forest on fire. I havent worked on the script for that one yet, but i want to focus on Ryder’s butch aspects and show them as desirable and hot. I also think Alex and Ryder being able to bond through their sexuality is a great way to steamroll through two strangers wouldnt work together bc two lesbians stuck in a horror situation would no doubt team up

Dakota is the final girl for Haunted House and oh boy shes gotta be my second favorite. British, fat, shaved head, dyke, 80s type punk chav vibe, hot headed, literally everything to me. She ends up inheriting a house from a family member shes barely heard of, and being a broke mid twenties yr old she immediately is on board. the house has a minor staff run by Ms. Adeline Falls so Dakota doesnt even have to do anything but play head of the house and follow the rules. Except shes really bad at following rules, and the house hates her. cue movie horror montage of a haunted house trying its best to kick the most stubborn girl out. i think this one will have more of a crimson peak/bly manor type vibe than anything? gothic semi tragedy horror is the feel i want to go for. also she basically ends up getting with the house at the end, so theres that

My last final girls are Belle and Julia from Sleep Over (title also in progress) i hesitate to call Julia a final girl since shes the antagonist, but she does end up alive at the end with Belle so ig she counts. very horror comedy with an over the top weird girl, Belle. Belle is absolutely obsessed with horror and the macabre, extending to serial killers and such. she has an entire room dedicated to horror props and set pieces, and she’s extremely elitist about her opinions on the genres. shes very much like May from the movie May, super awkward but much more outgoing with it. Julia and her crew are the new up and coming serial killers of the city, and decide Belle is gonna be their next target. Belle, already unhappy with the groups work and considering a shame to true serial killers, turns her house into a deadly home alone mixed with saw style death trap, and the serial killer trio slowly realize theyre the ones trapped in the house. I really want to give Julia and her crew popular mean girl type vibes. Like hair done poofy, cherry earrings, gold rings, lots of matching pinks, etc. Her and Belle dont end up together or anything but they do get the same life sentence, and the movie ends with what looks like them breaking out together

and thats my girls <3

[crispn-n]

February 🎁💙💛

hey! I might start to write a monthly post where i post a recap of comms/freebies/whatever i got where people draw or write for my ocs!!! Not gonna include all of them, probably just some highlights with selected themes or topic.

I need to yap my thoughts somewhere and hopefully could appeal to you considering to support the creators if u like their work🥰

====

It was valentine month.... it was supposed to be a month full of LOVE!! (of my otp)

Let's make this post adorable fureren comms I got/send around that month that fits the occassion back then 🥺💗

[ Artist, from left to right : Arutaego, Yachichan, Chokore_4 ]

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The last one was requested on february, but only got finished around April. It was a very worthy wait for furerenchwan summer-flavoured full course meal!!!!!!! AAH working with Reci is always a pleasant experience ;; v ;;

On this opportunity I tried to propose an idea "fureren sociolla date" for the sketchpage !! 💅💄 I have been wanting to draw a date inspired by the viral sociolla date videos. It fits them well, Frey is totally a boyfriend who will tag along inside the shop with Allen--Willingly learn and observe like a gentleman he is! (Pluus, also stepping in to stop her shopping haul lol)

Here're some sketches that is related to my sociolla date delulu. I hope to draw them out too myself in the future! hehe

During the progress; Reci suggested an idea where Frey is (sloppily) trying to apply a liptint on Allen for the first time ever. And I immediately agree with the idea!!!!! I like that in this piece, it seems Frey trying his best to get into Allen's interests as well.

By the way, while we're at it, I also want to show you this complete set of decorated icons comms from Reci as well. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! look at thems!!!!!

I'm thinking of getting another of these with my other ocs... maybe darlene and george...?🥺🥺? o-or wouldn't the whole six PABear family be great addition as well🧸..?! Gosh seeing the customized decoration around the character that resemble their character and personality ...!! Its so addicting....the artist always so good making them and put their own spin to the color palette!

Will reci accept this workload however... TT v TT let's just see in the future..!

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For the 2nd picture : When I received the sketch for the first time I literally jumped and very normal about it like WAH!!!!!!!! kak yachi's art is always so rich in expression and i love it!!! first thing i think when i saw frey on each picture is like, oh my god... they are so silly.... stupid... and in love.......(????) i LOVE it, they depicted their personalities perfectly. Allen's super cheerful and Frey.... frey's silliness beneath his serious composure is so real......

Additionally ; it is super amazing to be able commissioning yachi to draw fureren again.

The left one was comm'ed around 2021. When i haven't really started shipping them and yet working on their lore. CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT.... (note that it also consist allen's old design) When Yachi drew them like that, i was awakened.......Oh... i really like seeing frey and allen having this kind of interaction......

So this piece meant so much to me. Its great that in 2024 I could have them draw these two again with new designs (And i appreciate kak yachi heartwarmingly remembers them and said they enjoyed drawing fureren ; v ;! Its a honor ...!)

Oh oh oh! Additionally, since February also Frey's month. I managed to commission a frey-birthday-ish fic from Matheo (a writer). It was SO GREAT Q Q I havent got time to publish it on my toyhouse bc i want to draw a thing or a two thats related to the fic. maybe i will just publish it next year on his birthday bc i tend to share my fic stock like much very much later

oop and the first picture was a lovely cookie box commission! I fell in love at the first sight, i really hope i could find more interesting and cute ych like that~!!

Anyways, thats all for this post!

[lieu-rey]

the art you made abt the untamed got me watching the series and now i have once again fallen-

excellent

[kemafili]

Laois Dungeonmeshi!

GAHHHHHHHH oh holy smokes ok i have been getting ready for this all my life alrgiht i want to be as brief as possible bc if i start to real rant ill never finish

favorite thing about them: puppy sunshine attitude on natural moments, when he needs to change he will do so, sometimes (or maybe even always) he fails at it since he cant read social cues correctly, i adore his social skills epic fail, like i love your autism

least favorite thing about them: idk maybeee ummmm idk nothing i think

favorite line: im going to have to list them

they let me milk a minotaur

i wanted to be born as a quadrupedal monster, too!

at least let me count her nipples!

why am i the only person with a blindfold on..?

im being insulted in a language i dont undersand! and it sounds really nasty!

thats...! so lame.

Just being long-limbed isnt a talent

brOTP: Namari and Laius, they are very fun to see interact with each other, they seem to have a very clear opening on how one likes something a lot like an hyperfixation, Laius appreaciates Namaris knowledge of weapons and such and Namari can appreciate Laius interest for monsters like a tad strange thing but she seems to come around it, in the background panneling of the first-ish chapters and maybe even later on when namari is shown as a flashback, it can be seen that they might have been the second ones to spend more time togheter (Namari and Chilchuck being first, not including Marcille and Falin bc they are basically stuck togheter like glue), oh shit also also the adventurers bible has a few comics where namari and laius are drinking togheter and shes helping him with some shit issues and then they also speak on body hair shit lmfao omggggg fuck my life whatever uuughh i am so normal about them, i do really like them in liek aaaa ummm i say brotp bc i feel like they are very silent of romantic emotion but i also dont want to say everything is platonic lol, they bros in the way straight men that have gay sex are you feel me like that picture of two men almost kissing and it says this is how straight men hang out.

OTP: Laius and Kabru, liek omggg at first i was like they are toxic as hell but just someting so hillyius about them lmfao idk the chad (Kabru) has a love hate situation with the Nerd (Laius) and the nerd doesnt want teh chad? hillaryus idgaf keep chasing that piece of meat though.

nOTP: Laius and Marcille ☹ guhhhhh omg they are besties and Marcille has been so clear on not wanting anything with laius romantically so its liek guhhhhhhh i dont even know what to add here

random headcanon: i said liek 50 million times in the past his favorite food would be cheesecake bc he loves dairy but that is canon now so i want to add that Flan is also his second favorite annnnndddd uhhhh i have so much shit to addd here but i dont have it on my thoguhts rn bc i am Star Trekpilled so i am forgetting my own written lore but like my friends on the server once said

unpopular opinion: i dont like when peopel paint him as a kid or as an idiot because of the autism shit, like he is very much aware of other stuff, saying he doesnt even know what sex is did you forgot when he joked about the crabs inside those treasure shit (i forgot the proper name lmfao) saying if you saw their bottoms ud know their gender and he had a smirk on his face and Chilchuck got pissed off about it or when he found out the armors had sex while holding hands or when the Marcille succubi showed up he knew itd be fucked up if everyone else knew come the fuck on he knows what the hell is up, we need to sexualize autism okay and this doesnt go only there though btw liek stop making him dumber he knows what is up idk how to word it correctly but yeah he cant caught up on social cues but its not a whole umbrella of him being a dumbass

song i associate with them: woah i think its hilarryus that as one of my favorite characters i havent made him a playlist but i feel like hes just. so , so unmusical, like that before mentioned adventurers bible chapter where he says i cant sing or dance i was like yup i am ppretty sure you cant, he doenst seem to have a rhythim LMFAO id say anything that is related to medieval music thats what reminds me of him

favorite picture of them: hi

i hate having to choose only one picture but i love blushing and i love eating so this one

[minijenn]

Keys to the Kingdom Preview

Uh just realized I havent really been postin a lot of Keys previews around here lately so here’s my concentrated effort to try and fix that. Have some of Larxene being Peak Bitch and Queen of My Whole Ass Heart: 

The woman offers Sora a broad, snide grin as she flashes a set of small knives between her fingers. “Whoops,” she says, an undeniably haughty air to her tone. “Guess I missed. I was actually aiming for that empty head of yours.”

“W-who are you?” Sora asks, though he’s not entirely sure he wants to find out based on his first impression of her. 

“What?” the woman spits, seemingly offended. “Are you serious right now? Do you really not remember me after–Ohhhhh, that’s right.” She huffs, tucking a stray piece of her short golden hair behind her ear. “Marluxia mentioned you’ve gotten even stupider after what happened at the castle. And from what else I’ve been hearing, more submissive too.” She takes a step closer, walking past the anxious boy as she flicks him hard on the forehead, an action he can’t even retaliate against for the rank she so obviously holds over him. “How’s it feel to be part of the winning team, number thirteen?”

“I-I…. I’m proud to be a member of the Organization,” Sora answers, despite desperately not wanting to. He shakes this bout of forced control off as quick as he can as he fixes her with a distrustful glare, his tone shifting from false loyalty into earnest annoyance. “So, are you are gonna actually introduce yourself or not?”

“Ugh, fine,” the woman rolls her eyes, equally irritated. “The name’s Larxene. Don’t forget it this time.”

“I won’t…” Sora mumbles, unable to refuse a direct order from any of his fellow members. As much as he wants to ask how this wicked woman seems to apparently already know him, Larxene doesn’t give him the chance. 

“Yeesh, and I thought you were a mess the last time I saw you,” she sneers, circling him and “inspecting” him all the while. “What’s the matter, Sora? Too dumb to figure out how to survive on your own? It’s not even that hard; all you gotta do is steal what you need, and the rest is easy.”

“I… I don’t steal,” Sora says quietly, his shameful sights trained on the ground. “Not anymore.”

“Oh, what, are you too ‘good’ for that?” Larxene mocks, ruffling his already messy hair. “Maybe you oughta stop acting like you’re so much better than everyone else. Because news flash, kiddo, you’re not. Not anymore. In fact, after what you just did to that poor, innocent friend of yours, I’d say you’re just about as bad as they come.”

“Don’t talk about him!” Sora suddenly snaps, unable to contain his rising frustration. Especially not after hearing anyone refer to Riku, to what he did to Riku, to how he hurt Riku, so cruelly and callously. Like it doesn’t even matter at all when it’s something that’s shattered every aspect of Sora’s life so thoroughly. 

Larxene barely even flinches as several spikes shoot up out of the already snow-dusted ground around Sora. Instead, vicious anger permeates her wry, cunning smirk as she suddenly grabs the boy by the collar of his shirt, pulling him up and wiping the resistant scowl clean off his face. “Let’s get a few things straight, you little brat,” she hisses, her voice dangerously low as her golden eyes glare into his. “I don’t want to be here any more than you do. But since you’ve been doing so badly at the one job we gave you to do, the old man thinks someone needs to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t mess up any more than you already have. And unfortunately for us both that someone is me. Thing is, I’m not a babysitter; I don’t do kids, especially not whiny, starving, stupid kids who won’t stop crying about how “sad” they are or how “bad” their life is. So if you know what’s good for you, then you’ll suck it up, shut up, and maybe if you’re lucky, this’ll all go smoothly for us both, k?”

Sora doesn’t answer, instead bitterly averting her gaze when she shoves him away from her. Larxene seems to take offense with his silence though, because out of nowhere, he fist suddenly slams into his stomach, all but sending him to the already snow-covered ground. “Are you deaf or something? I asked you a question,” she snarls, standing over him with a fierce scowl. 

“I-I thought you wanted me to shut up,” Sora replies rather curtly between pained coughs. He does his best not to flinch when Larxene reels her fist back for another strike. 

“Oh, so you’re still a smart aleck, huh?” she huffs crossly. “And here I thought you’d be too busy being depressed to mouth off. But you’ll learn real quick now that you’re one of us that absolutely no one cares about what you have to say.”

“I already figured that much…” Sora mutters tiredly. Because if there’s one thing his masters, his superiors, even his fellow members all have in common, it's a mutual hatred for him. So why would any of them ever want to listen to him, to care about how he thinks and feels? He doesn’t live for himself anymore, he hasn’t for a long time. He knows he should be used to that by now, should expect this kind of harsh treatment, and yet… some small, stubborn part of him still wants to resist it all the same. 

“Now come on, you little mutant,” Larxene turns, already pressing onward through the steady snow. “We’ve got a Key to find. And for your sake, we better find it soon, or else you won’t like me very much.”

“Too late for that,” Sora deadpans before he can stop himself. “I already don’t.”

He can’t help but muster a small, triumphant grin in the seconds before Larxene whirls. She doesn’t strike him herself, surprisingly, but instead, bursts of golden lightning flash out from her fingertips. The electrifying bursts strike Sora squarely, sending a sharp jolt searing through his entire body. It hurts, yes, but the fact that he managed to get a rise out of her, that he managed to land a knick in her seemingly impenetrable pride, still satisfies him, even if it's only in some small, largely meaningless way. 

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Tough As Nails

Gif credit @haileyupstead

Requested by anon. Thanks for the request

Hope you enjoy it.

Tag list @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder.

"That was one hell of a shot". A officer came up from behind and smacked your shoulder, praising you for your kill on the suspect.

"Thanks". You quickly said going to your car. Jay waited for you.

"You sure you're not hurt"? Jay asked for the hundredth time. "He was just shooting bullets everywhere".

"I'm fine. Hungry but fine. You want to get something to eat"?

"Yeah". He huffed getting into the car. You followed with a slight wince getting into the car.

"Where to"? You asked.

"Our usual, duh". He laughed. You started the car and drove to the cafe that you ate lunch at everyday with Jay.

"What can I get you two"? The waitress asked, popping her gum.

"I'll take a burger with fries and a chocolate milk shake"? You replied giving her the menu back.

"And you"? She looked at Jay, batting her eyelashes.

"Meatloaf with mac n cheese and green beans". He told her. 

"Alright. Itll be out in a minute". She said with a smile.

"You aren't going to dip your fries in your milkshake again, are you"? Jay asked with disgust.

"Uh, yes. It's freaking delicious. You should try it".

"No. It's gross and you should stop it. I'd like to keep my food down". Jay chuckled.

"Whateves. I'm going to the bathroom. Save seat".

"Always". He smiled as you got up from the booth.

You headed towards the bathroom just when your head started getting dizzy. Shaking it off you walked into the ladies. Going to the mirror. Your back was killing you. You figured it was from the kickback from the rifle. But it hurt every time you moved your right arm. Then again you weren't use to the gun so you just brushed it off and went to the bathroom.

Meanwhile the food had arrived and Jay sat patiently waiting for you.  He didnt think it would take you this long to pee.

"Excuse me? Have you seen the girl I was with"? He asked the waitress as she walked by.

"I seen her round the corner to the bathroom but havent seen her come out". She said cleaning up the table in front of Jay.

"Okay". Jay was beginning to get worried.

"Oh darn". She huffed as she dropped a cup on the floor.

"Let me get that". Jay kneeled down and picked up the cup. He noticed the trail of blood heading towards the bathroom.

"Are you bleeding"? He asked the waitress as he handed her the cup.

"I dont think so". She looked at her arms.

"Call an ambulance". He told her running to the bathroom.

She gasped and hurried along.

"Y/N? Y/N"? Jay pushed the door open, the bathroom was empty except the puddle of blood at the sink. Jay opened each stall one by one until he got to the droplets of blood at the last door.

He pulled it open and saw you hunched over on the floor. Your hand was covered in blood and a puddle was starting to form.

"Y/N, stay with me". He picked you up bridal style and ran to the front of the dinner.

"The ambulance is on its way". The waitress said coming towards Jay. Stopping in her tracks.

"Give me some towles". Jay ordered. He took your jacket off and saw where the blood was coming from. You had a through and through in your shoulder. The suspect shot you before you took him out.

"I knew something was wrong". You could hear Jay's voice faintly as you came in and out of  consciousness.

Jay applied pressure to the wounds just in time. The paramedics hustled in taking over. Jay stood back watching them load you up. Your color was gone and your body limp.

"You riding"? One of the paramedics asked Jay, bring him out of his state.

"Yes". He followed them out and jumped into the ambulance. He held your cold hand the whole ride there. Not wanting to let you go.

Jay called the others when he got there. They took you straight back to surgery. He was nervous you weren't going to make it.

"She's strong man, stronger than any of us". Alvin said to Jay trying to keep him confident about your condition.

"I know. Tough as nails". Jay chuckled, chewing on the corner of his cheek. Fighting back tears.

"Yeah she is". Adam sniffled squeezing Jay's shoulder.

"Jay"? Will came up from the side of the waiting room.

"Is she okay"? Jay sprinted up to Will.

"She's going to be fine. Y/Ns shoulder is shattered into pieces. So I had to extract those pieces. Shes going to be in alot of pain for a couple months. She lost a good amount of blood but we got her taken care of. She's going to make it". Will reassured Jay. 

"Thanks". Jay sighed a sigh of relief.

"No problem. You can see her now if you want. Just take it slow".

Jay turned to Alvin and Adam. "Shes okay". 

"That's great". Alvin smiled.

"Will said I can go see her but first Adam can you do something for me"?

"Anything".

Jay told Adam what he needed and he was off. Jay walked to down the hall and stopped at your door. You were sleeping peacefully. He didn't want to disturb you so he waited by the door for Adam. It took him a whole ten minutes to get what he needed and back to the hospital.

"Got what you wanted"? Adam said running down the hall.

"Thanks". Jay took the stuff from Adam and walked into the room. Sitting the stuff on the tray and taking a seat beside you. He watched you sleep. Which when you woke up was kinda frightening and creepy.

"You're freaking me out. Stop staring". You chuckled then groaned.

"How you holding up"?

"I'm fine. I dont know why I'm here".

"You were shot. How did you not know that"?

"The adrenaline running. I was pumped. Didnt feel anything until I got to the car and that was just a ache. Thought it was the kickback from the gun".

"Well it wasn't. You could have died".

"Jay, calm down. I'm okay now".

"I know. Here I got you something". He pushed the tray over to you. The sat a chocolate milkshake and fries.

"Aww, you got me my favorites". You sat up in the bed with a hiss.

"Yeah since you didnt get to eat yours".

"You going to try it? For me"? You gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. But it's going to be nasty". Jay groaned taking a fry and dipping it into the milk shake. Putting it to his lips and taking a bite.

"Mmm. That's actually pretty good". He mumbled.

"I told you. When have I ever been wrong"?

Jay eyed you with a laugh. "All the time. Like now for instance".

"Oh stop living in the past, Jay. Let's look to the future".

"Alright then".

Jay held up a fry and so did you. "Cheers to the future of being the best stubborn hard headed partner".

"Cheers". You laughed, Jay snickered shaking his head.

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol