#i havent seen my grandparents in years

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Polish Remus and Balkan Barty will forever be my fav thing ever they are menaces and I LOVE THEM FOR IT.

when they get together their slavic nature just fuckin amplifies. those are some barszcz slurping tea chugging motherfuckers. they have rugs all over their apartments and jars of kompot in their fridge from their babcias and when they're two hours late to every party it's just normal. they wear pajamas that are a matching shirt and pants. barty drinks rakia like its fuckin water. injured? he puts rakia on the wound. itchy skin? rakia. cold feet? rakia. they're suspicious of everyone and everything they eat is flavoured with onions and garlic. they hold their garbage with grocery bags. they have high cheekbones. i could keep going

[ryuseitai]

so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin

[the-kipsabian]

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[beachboysnatural]

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[idontunderstandwhydoyouneedmyurl]

Is it really Christmas if I don't have a minor depressive spiral over missing my family

[ynwa-chiesa]

Have to get up and get ready to meet my grandparents.... I just want to sleep for another month :(((

[klauste]

i dont like how closely connected everything actually is

[evilvillain123456789]

i can't stop fucking old people. it's seriously a problem. their hearts can't fucking take it. they know i'll kill them. but they never say no. i travel city to city with each conquest. i log onto tinder and meet a girl. three chances a year... one for easter dinner, one for thanksgiving, one christmas. she takes me to her house to meet the family. the grandmother and i lock eyes from across the table. grandfather has passed. shes here alone.. sad.. we make eye contact for a while until she excuses herself, and i follow her. sometimes the deed is done right there in the bedroom, sometimes i'm given the number to her jitterbug, to return to her later. she makes me go in raw no matter what i suggest. i break up with the girl shortly after i've achieve sexual contact with one or both grandparents. i've no family of my own. that's true, that's always the excuse. i got a reputation that follows me. that's why i'm always moving. the grandmother often catches a VD from our little quickie. her weakened immune system. she passes away a few weeks later. some time before her time. or maybe just in time. god forbid, she invites me over. i sit in her little rocking chair as she speaks to me. that was her husbands chair.. she eyes me. my presence awakens this within her. i make her feel young again. she leads me to her bedroom. i have no reason to restrain myself, nobody will find us. she comes, then she goes. i clean her up as she grunts from the remnants of her heart attack, and leave her tucked into bed. she lays there peaceful, like shes asleep. that's when i lock the doors on my way out, and head to the next city. the next city, where i'll lay low until the next holiday season. start chatting up some chicks while i'm at it.. god, and the grandfathers. unlike with the grandmothers, they dont need to have lost their love to want me. they always cheat. they always want to use me as a tool to cheat. they look at me in ways their wives havent seen in years, and their wives see this. but their wives remain subservient. they always let him do this. they pray for him, but none of them pray for me. they hate me. they hate me so much. they know what i'm doing but refuse to make it stop. i lead their husbands away and kill them. they know it serves him right. i leave them heartbroken. but they'll never say a word. they'll never say a word about how an ugly little gay boy stole their man and now he's paid the ultimate price. and so have they. they seethe until their death. sometimes i swoop in on them too. silence them. they want me to silence them. but usually its too risky. after all, there are simply some secrets, that one must take to ones grave no matter what. i have nothing to gain from doing this. what i do is completely legal. all are lucid. but i feel as if i'm moving through a dream. i feel the earth around me shift as though i were asleep. i can't settle down. i can't fucking stop it. i want to stop. i want to find love. i feel so guilty. how many women fell in love with me, only to lose me. lose one or both grandparents and i'm nowhere near to comfort her. by the time it comes to mourn, i'm already long gone..

But yes, i suppose you can apply this to your fucking little tomgreg or harry styles or whatever. Yeah dude. You fucked that old man.

[fuckin-wilde]

Tw for police brutality, murder

One of my high school friends was murdered by our local cops last week. Ive seen absolutely nobody talking about it, and while im sure Bill would appreciate that, i definitely dont. That being said, im making this post for me and anyone else who has lost sleep over Bill's death, nobody else.

Bill was a uniquely wonderful man. If he'd just met you, he'd stick his hand out and say "Howdy, Bill Factor". He would do things for the fuck of it, or because nobody else would, just to laugh with his friends. He was one of two teenagers i knew who didnt think you had to be mean to be funny. He wore this amazingly tacky christmas suit (blazer and pants) for the holidays, which his sister wore to his funeral yesterday. He was barely 25, disabled, native, queer, and a legally ordained minister. He was the only guy i knew who could be in color guard through high school and then rush a frat in college. Truly if the world is ever going to get better, it takes a whole bunch of people like Bill.

Bill was murdered by two cops with less than 5 years of job experience between the two. Supposedly he was hiding on a strangers balcony before he fired a gun at the officers, but - and i know this is an old ass song - thats complete bullshit. He isnt here to explain what happened, he cant tell us what was going on that night, and i hate that how cops abuse this every time they kill someone.

Isaiah Lewis should have been able to tell his mom why he was doing edibles, get grounded like a normal kid, and graduate high school. Bill Factor should be here to tell his mom what he was doing in some karen's backyard. No parent or grandparent should be at their kids funeral. No one person should be allowed the position of judge, jury, and executioner - especially after only doing his job for a year or two.

If you made it through this long ass post and want to help, put pressure on Edmond PD. Let them know we havent forgotten Isaiah Lewis and we wont forget Bill Factor. Ask the city of Edmond and/or the state of Oklahoma for an external investigation this time. Leave a voicemail that just says their names.

And please do say his name.

Bill R Factor. 1999-2024

[evelili]

As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.

When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.

Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.

Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.

You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol

i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!

first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.

second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?

all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;

[desire-mona]

heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest

Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3

more under cut !

big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy

birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2

if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will

ummmm relationship chart + template

lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others

wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁

but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))

tw suicide for next part bee tee dub

a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.

oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives

cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.

kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.

so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together

i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY

and then nothing bad happens!

if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes

they make me so fucking upset.

anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.

idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH

thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks

[josecariohca]

i think im actually going to cry this may be the best day of my life and i just i need to sob about it dont mind me

both my trips have officially been finalized and i dont quite know?????? how to handle that??????? i leave for london in literally less than 10 days and that trip lasts a MONTH a whole ass fucking MONTH!!!!!! ill be in london for a MONTH!!!!! with my best fucking friend who has been nothing short of fucking amazing hooking me up with a place to stay and a sim card and offering to take me out on my birthday. i havent had a good birthday in literally 6 years and he wants to do something nice for me and even took time off work for some of the days im there so we can have day trips outside the city.

and then a week after i get back in mid september, my grandparents have finally booked our flights for brasil and i actually get to go back. ive never seen brasil with my grandparents, and i know this will be the last trip i ever get to take with them. theyre old, theyre frail, but they want to do this and they want to show me the places they grew up, and take me to the country i havent seen in so fucking long. and they booked it!!!!!!!! for a month and a half!!!!!!!

A MONTH AND A HALF OF BEING IN BRASIL ARE YOU FUCKING JOE KING???????????????????????? its all ive ever wanted. ive worked so fucking hard to be able to get out there and do stuff like this, and after my life falling down around me in 2023 to slowly piecing myself back together in 2024, to have this is something i never imagined.

and then grad schools applications start opening up in september to the schools i plan on visiting in england, and there is a chance that by the end of the year, ill know if i am getting into a master's program. in fucking england.

none of this seems real. none of it seems real, but its all happening, and its all happening right the fuck now, and i want to cry and cheer and tell myself from a year ago that shit will be okay and that there are things worth looking forward to.

and i just!!!!!!

[cyber-therian]

i have to go out for dinner and im incredibly nervous. my grandparents on my fathers side havent seen me often due to the fact that he lives with them & we (my father & i) are not on speaking/interaction terms. i havent seen them properly in around a year. im really scared ill be triggered or theyll touch me or ill get sick from sensory overload. :(

[magnoliamyrrh]

i want to go home

i dont even know what that means anymore. where is home. the apartment i grew up in had to be renovated. it is no longer my home. not my home with the persian carpets with the old wooden floors with the soviet style kitchen with white flowered tiles stained yellow from years of cooking and smoking the little window i would climb up on to smoke. the apartment where the heating and electricity and water would always go out, the one with the old furniture brought over from before the communist period, with the balcony with the glass edges cracked and broken. there is a school outside of the window where a park used to be, a park where i learned how to bike, where wed jump the fence to sneak into. but now theres no park, and the old trees have been cut to make room for the school, and my childhood friends are married and i havent seen them in years. that apartment is not my home anymore, but the streets still smell the same, have the same graffiti everchanging, all the same gangs of street cats. but its not my home anymore is it? its not my home

and maybe dobrogea isnt either, maybe ive become too foreign and strange for its streets. or maybe not. maybe not, maybe thats where i want to return, to my grandparents little apartment, to the black sea, to the tatar women with their sweets and foods and little stores teaching me how to make jewerly, to my grand grandmothers house and to the graves of my grand grandparents, to dry grass fields. even if now the houses have changed, even if now the fruits and vegetables dont taste the same

but perhaps ive become too foreign and strange. perhaps i dont belong anywhere anymore. perhaps nowhere is home anymore. here its not. perhaps its in the mojave, in the dry desert heat, with the tumbleweed down in the plato under the mountains gaze, with clouds like pantings and the smell of sweet hot sand. maybe thats where i long for, a foreigner in a pitstop to nowhere, maybe thats where my heart has been most settled. but i dont belong there either

home is not here, not in this house and not in this bed, and its not there, and its not there, and its not there

i want to go home. i want to go home all the time. i dont understand what that means anymore

its like im looking for some place which only exists in the hazy eyes of a childhood which didnt exist

i just. want to go home

[psychologeek]

Conversation

(bc it gets too long to be in the comment section, and I'm moving it.)

@erictyberiusduckman

quit acting like we havent seen the videos of Israeli citizens halting aid trucks alongside your own government not allowing aid. When Motaz left Falastine, all he could see when he drove past were aid trucks - AND I SAW THEM TOO. All I see on your blog is you linking random civillians getting murdered by YOUR COUNTRY to Hamas. hamas is not the one dropping bombs on innocent falastinis. May i remind you YES. YOUR COUNTRY IS THE BOMBER. HAS BEEN SINCE 1948.

~

psychologeek

I don't say that blocking trucks is the right thing to do.

If "my government don't allow aid", then can you please explain to me how trucks entering via Kerem Shalom? Or do you somehow suggest there are multiple ships stopping at the port, moving aid to trucks, the trucks driving several hours, reach the border - without a single person in the government knowing about it?

No justify-but they're hostage families protesting for aid to hosages

Literally 80% of my blog is writing/fandoms. Another 10-15% are about antisemism.

What are you talking about?

I mean, Hamas kinda dies bomb civilians? And hospitals? And everything at reach?

So, just to get it clear - Israel bomb Gaza since 1948? Is that what you're saying?

~

erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek THE DALET PLAN WAS SCRIPTED BY BRITAIN IN 1937...YES YOUR COUNTRY WITH THE AID OF BRITIAN BEGAN THE BOMBINGS WITH THE FIRST NAKBA IN 1948.

~

psychologeek

@erictyberiusduckman

I'm tired.

You keep making up misinformation, and ignore what I say.

Are you a bot? Bc right now, that's what you look like.

What country are you from?

(You keep claiming Israeli military bombed Gaza since 1948? Feel free to look up at the, you know, history.)

~

erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek Youre the one saying to look it up but When You google things like "the 1st Nakba" "The Stern Gang" "The Irgun" it all makes sense. The Dalet Plan is PUBLIC COMMON NEWS…Of course a brainwashed Israeli-Nationalist would never believe their Government COULD EVER do anything wrong , let ALONE ALLOW anyone to EVER CRITICIZE THEIR GOVERNMENT…..Notice how way earlier I said I LOVE Peace-Wanting Israelis who can see through their Governments BS. @psychologeek Everything YOUVE brought up Israel having to "fight" was a COUNTER RESURGANCE from Falastine DUE TO THE YEARS OF INVASION beginning with the OTTOMANS, then the BRITS, then ZIONISTS…Not to mention there were Already Jewish People living there in Falastine before your 2 percent Ass had a grandparent move into the home of a Falastinian family after their olive trees were burnt to the ground. And none of them allowed to take their belongings with them.

@psychologeek how can it be Misinformation when it is EASILY GOOGLE-ABLE. AGAIN. what kind of censorship are you dealing with, my dear little Nationalist?

@psychologeek You realize because you are BORN and RAISED in Israel you have ingested YEARS worth of propoganda. You Really think your government wouldn't LIE to you?? You really think your schools wouldnt lie and make it seem like State of Israel is the victim or something? That there are No jews In Falastine??

Your state is backed by AMERICA. You know. "we didnt test radiation on poor people!" America. "we never gave Syphilis to Poor Black Communities" America

@psychologeek American backed State totally would never take Inspiration from American Propoganda or American Imperialism. Nope. Totally wouldnt take money from a Genocidal Global Superpower. No way. Do you see how it works yet. My poor little Nationalist.

~

@erictyberiusduckman Ohh you mean Etzel??

You say "I love peace-wanting Israelis" Yet, it sounds more like "I love Israelis who doesn't want Israel to exist"

@erictyberiusduckman

I don't agree with everything my government/s does or did.

What do you call "Falastine"? What part of land?

You keep using blood quantum, and "one drop" like you just came from the 18th century. Can you stop being racist for a second?

Keep calling it Propaganda, yet you constantly quoting right from The Protocols.

"Oh you all live in stolen houses warming your houses with burnt olive and drinking kids' blood".

But sure, I'm brainwashed.

@erictyberiusduckman I mean. Just bc something is Google-able doesn't make it true.There are things like misinformation and disinformation. ~I get it that you hate America with all your heart. But the world isn't black/white.I won't go deep into American Politics, bc idk much about it, but just bc something is supported by A, doesn't automatically make it evil.(Or, do you think everything USA does/fund/support around the world is evil?)

~

erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek maybe If I phrase it this way it will make sense. There is a call for a ceasfire. Innocents are dying. American Government says NO.Full stop. Why? Because theres oil off the coast of Present day Israel. They want your Natural Resources.And they want it easy and they want it fast.

@psychologeek the things your countries Govt has done to the indigenous people of the Levant and Surrounding areas is Nothing Short of Western-Style Imperialism. The tactics they are using against falastinis are Based off the Nazis, who based THEIR tactics off of Andrew Jackson in America and HIS treatment of Indigenous Americans. We can also bring Britian into the Equation as well- And we all know about British Colonization. INCLUDING the areas of the Levant as a whole.

@psychologeek this is why Britain helped the STATE of Israel form and USED brainwashed Ashkenazim and Shepardim victims as physical expendable tools to Obtain a Land and Hold more control OVERALL than the people they borderline-displaced to the area.

@psychologeek I of course mean Ashkenazim and Shepardim from Spain/Portugal and Eastern Europe.Holocaust survivors had to dig through the trash to survive while a mix of Zionists from a mix of America,Pakistan,Ethiopia,etc, and other countries FLEW in to take full advantage of Resources.

~

Current Response:

I am?? Not?? American?? Wtf you blame me for things *your* government is doing?? I mean. afaik, this is the reason for something called "elections" and "democracy" and "politics". (But I guess talking shit about other governments is way easier than, you know, actually doing something to change things you can.)

"There is a call for a ceasefire" - I mean, those who say it claim they want ceasefire. However, I haven't heard anyone talking about things like the safe return of the hostages, stop Hamas from bombing and attacking civilians in Israel, or anything but "Israel should stop fighting" (no matter what)". Which.... isn't really a call for ceasefire. Especially as Hamas leaders keep saying "we'll do it again."

"There's oil on the coast of Israel" - Gas. You mean gas. In the mid-north. And again - I don't go into other countries politics.

"the things your countries Govt has done to the indigenous people of the Levant" - which are? As you refuse to admit jews are indigenous to the area.

"Nothing Short of Western-Style Imperialism." - good job in spreading propaganda!. You elegantly ignore everything about non-western imperialism, denying and erasing Jewish history, and keep your propaganda. Well done.

"Zionists/Israelis are the new Nazis" - obviously you have no idea what is Nazism. Which is to be expected. After all, in the 30s Hitler was chosen as the Times' "Person of the Year", not to mention the Madison Square and the Bund.

"Britain helped state Israel" - lol. Yeah right, like they didn't limit entry and immigration (from Jews only).

Hello racism my old friend

"a mix of Zionists from a mix of America,Pakistan,Ethiopia,etc, and other countries FLEW in to take full advantage of Resources." - how dare those (dirty ppl) come? They are here to suck our blood I mean, use all the resources!" (Psst... Do you know where most of the refugees who fled to Israel came from? Hint: not America)

Also you ignored basically everything that I write.

[vero-niche]

https://youtu.be/4EuFD9V9AT0?si=OmXVKeUe11WgqkR4

This fuckimg song

This fuckign

I love it and hate it at the same time

I have never heard this up to a year ago where i just stumbled upon it in a playlist but its so nostalgic sounding SO NOSTALGIC when i LITERALLY COULD NOT HAVE HEARD IT when i was small and yet it gives me the feeling that i remember listening to it in like 2009 at grandmas house on summer break at 23:35 pm at night on animax after cartoon network ended for the day, bc i stayed a lot at my grandparents' house on sumemr break and i watched anime there bc mom could not say no but i could not have done that since darker than black DID NOT AIR IN HUNGARY AT ALL, not with sub, not with dub, it did not air, i looked into it

Im literally nostalgic for THE NOTHING I HAVENT EVEN SEEN THE SHOW

Why the fucm does it sound so nostalgic i remember the nothing my brain is making up shit

it does have familiar sounds tbh, as in, many notes and tunes and vibes typical of that time, so probably it's a culmination of that haha

even to me it doesn't sound completely new, even tho i wasnt near anime in 2010 yet.... it kinda has that cowboy bebop vibe? or smg like that, maybe somene more at home in older anime knows why it sounds familiar haha