#i havent listened to most of these in YEARS
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im so upset i didnt listen to epic sooner. everyone kept telling me to and i just didnt. i listened just a few months ago and at least i got to be part of the hype for the ithaca saga instead of if i waited for it to end and then listened, but like... ahhh!!?!??!?! its over???!?!?! like wdym its done i literally just got here. its like. im emotional but in a different way than most people. because i havent waited years for this. im sad because its ending and because its so emotionally charged and well done but im also sad because im mourning how much longer i could have enjoyed this if i listened sooner. i know how much i could have loved this and how much i could have anticipated each saga, how amazing this community is but also how much i could have enjoyed watching it grow. its a feeling of genuine regret. its that strong of an emotion. regret. so yeah im crying because its over and because the cast is insanely talented and the story was so well wrapped up and just everything, but im also crying because i didnt get to cry earlier.
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@anirudhpisharody thanks for the tag!
shuffling my songs and listing the first 10 (i have a spotify addiction going back to teenagedom so this will be interesting)
1. flatline - orla gartland
2. robbers - the 1975
3. ninety - jaden
4. when the world stopped moving - lizzy mcalpine
5. ttcl - eloise
6. you and i - jacob collier
7. little freak - harry styles
8. piano concerto no. 3 in c major, op. 26: II - prokofiev
9. don't judge me - janelle monae
10. come fly with me - frank sinatra
tagging @translasso @jamietarts @try-set-me-on-fire @janesbennet @ilostyou @useramor if u wanna
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my new OC: cempaka!
she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)
also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)
bonus first iteration under the cut!
i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3
#my art#original character#oc#oc art#art#im in love with her actually#she has 4 brothers all named after flowers#mawar kekwa orkid and melati#not me using google translate literally on the fly i hope im not being culturally insensitive 😭#but anyway they lost their parents at a young age so she was raised by her brothers#shes the youngest by far tho by like 9 years from her next closest brother#mawar is the oldest hes like 40 a very important Leader Of People so he is not very present in her life#kekwa is a doctor and 38 and he travels often for work so he is also not very present but he visits sometimes#orkid and melati are twins theyre both 30#orkid is a scholar and on track to being a professor at a prestigious uni#melati is traveling the world doing soul searching#cempaka is 21 she is literally a baby and her brothers send her back money but shes mostly alone#so she joins a traveling dance troupe and she gets really good at dancing#she meets indra while on the road dancing and performing and she is SMITTEN#like shes just head over heels in love with this man because hes so warm and inviting and he fills a void in her life#he makes her feel so incredibly seen and not alone and the feeling is addicting she cant get enough#ok idk most of the details bc i havent read haydars full story BUT#basically to my understanding yuwei and indra are separated for a while#and cempaka knows up front that indra is in love with yuwei like hes very honest with her about this and she appreciates it#but she still wants a chance because indras the only person in the world that has ever made her feel truly seen and loved#so she tries to be with him to ease her loneliness but it breaks her heart whenever he misses yuwei openly#also AGAIN listen im trying to basically write fanfic for a story that doesnt exist LOLL#HAYDAR IF YOURE READING THIS PLS WRITE UR STORY LMFAO
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hipaint is really cool i think my favorite part about it is the fact its literally just free procreate. truly the photopea of our time. anyways some tf2 loadout stuff + a soldier sorry for the inactivity ive mainly been on twitter and also mainly just drawing chucklenuts podcast stuff and there is. no audience for that lol. i am my own audience
pal got me. strange festivized professional killstreak fire axe for christmas and i am so excited. i saw it on the steam marketplace and saw it was name a desc tagged after american psycho and wanted it so bad and thought i wouldnt be able to get it cuz i was $2 short but he came in so clutch and im .very happy (100% chance he sees this hi thank you again i owe you one 😭😭)
in other news one of my favorite (and by that i mean one of the 2 that exist) chucklenuts artists i follow on twt liked my last reblog. so i am very happy. ok yap session over im gonna go take a shower byeeee
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 pyro#tf2 spy#tf2 soldier#tf2 sniper#sniperspy#i dont really need to yap here cuz like#i did a lot of yapping in the main post lol#diff artstyle here its inspired by a really nice style i saw on pixiv#i havent looked on pixiv in like a year for very good reasons cuz i checked tf2 pixiv today#listen. the older stuff is amazing#its so nastolgic and cute and fuj#the newer stuff though. do not even look if you have r-18 enabled and i mean it#theres a lot of stuff of mimi and fempyro#most alarmingly theres stuff of olivia??? like why is that even allowed you should be in fucking prison in real life#the older stuff meanwhile. moe soldier lol#anyways yeah it was a good style so i stole it here#pixiv is horrible btw i do not reccomend logging onto that site#when i was 14 i saw csa art of my favorite danganronpa ship on there and that messed me up for a while man#sorry the tags have become me ranting about pixiv#tldr do not use pixiv!!! those bitches are either weird or predators!!!!#ok bye
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robin cursing canon!!!!!
robin would walk in a minute late and yell "god FUCKIING dammit. sorry guys!" and sunday would walk in 3 hours later and say "whoopsies!!" and boothill would just tell u to kys if you point out hes late
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr fanart#hsr boothill#hsr sunday#hsr robin#honkai robin#mutuals#😢😢😢#HMU GUYS 😢😢#it feels weird to approach other people on tumblr cause im a minor and turns out most people here are 20....#IT DOESNT MATTER TO ME BUT I DONT WANNA WEIRD ANYONE OUT#boothill#robin#sunday#honkai star rail fanart#allies art#i want mutuals#guys i pinky promise im not 9 years old (i USED to be... ur listening 2 an ex-9 year old rn...#robin hsr#sunday hsr#boothill hsr#i dont know if this is accurate cause i havent finished the penacony quest#just rhe vibes.......
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just woke up from a half asleep state where i dreamed that there was a fourth McElroy brother named Patrick who was just Griffin but stretched out
#patrick mcelroy may be the most irish american name of all time good job my subconcious#btw this is my second ever tumblr post about a fictional mcelroy brother theres something up with my brain#patrick mcelroy didnt even do anything in this dream i just thought of the concept and woke up with so much force i had to open tumblr#mbmbam#mcelroys#crabs saying shit#i also havent listened to mbmbam consitently in like years i dont know why theyre so baked into my brain
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you guys lmao🧍🏻♀️classroom of the elite is great but the fan service ruins it sometimes 💀
#listen i havent watched lots of anime#so the most disgusting fan service i saw was from sword art online and no game no life which i stopped watching right away lmao#BUT IDK SOMETIMES IN CLASSROOM OF THE ELITE ITS JUST 🧍🏻♀️#some cool stuff happend but they ruin it#and arent those like 15 year olds help#i'm so uncomfortable BAHAHJHAHA LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#SOMETIMES IM LIKE#WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#JUST WHX
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this time last year i was probably sitting in the kitchen while my dad started making an early dinner of chicken bolognese trying not to get too nervous about the concert i'd be going to in a few hours
#the nyc concert was last year. LAST YEAR .#thats so insane like yeah that feels like a year ago but good god the insane amount of stuff that has happened since#but god i remember that day so well#it was cloudy and a little rainy in the morning which made me ough thinking it was a bad omen and wouldnt be as fun#and i remember going to library and printing out my silly letters (i should have just. not done that lol)#and on the DAY OF on the way back home from the library#i even bought a cropped black blazer specifically for my concert outfit. havent worn it since lmao#and my dad and i even watched a movie at lunch#a short movie but a movie nonetheless. lol and even then i was like oghh my gosh excitement and nervousness#and then the car service getting there i felt so fancy and as the drive started the clouds were magically dissipating#so that it was a nice clear evening when i got to the theatre#and then all the insanity of the show. god i cant believe it still after all this time. wowie#going to listen to a playlist of the show setlist im gonna get emotional now. guys........#one of my fave memories is how everyone started standing up as they went into so may we start so i was like ok are we all doing this#and stood up too and then stood for the entire rest of the concert. i think the first 3-5 rows were like that for the whole show#surreal and insane i was front row. those guys were REAL and CLOSE#i was also very excited to notice russells new shoes :) when i wasnt like awooga (how i was 99% of the time)#there was one so may we start jump that was well. yeah. front row baby#i think after latte i was like ok i cant film i gotta just vibe#religious experience doing the 'ah ah ah's during that. really interesting#ok im not gonna go through the whole show again but wowie one of my most insane nights. second only to hollywood bowl#wow what a fun year it was. just so many incredible moments#ok yay 💖 happy one year to all that. love those guys so much#spars#ok not actually done beaver o lindy was INSANE LIVE!!! AS WAS EVERYTHING ELSE. so fun ok now done for real
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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I'm sure I won't be the first to point this out but I really admire the way Halsey was able to create songs which were explicitly inspired by certain artists without ever once losing the ineffable essence that makes her art hers. I'm not on instagram so I missed the whole parade of influences thing - I got that the gist of the album would be this sort of muddle of identities and eras but didn't know each song would have a specific influence. Listening to the album without the full context, I appreciated the scope of its diversity but I never once felt like anything was a copy or an inauthentic expression. It felt strangely cohesive in its chaos and most of all it was, quintessentially, a Halsey album. It's fascinating how, in leaning so hard into this idea of impersonation, they actually proved more than ever what an incredibly distinctive artist (and human being) they are.
#Halsey#The Great Impersonator#listening to this album was such a strange experience#throughout most of it I was liking it but I wasn’t emotional#but then all of a sudden towards the end I started to get so teary and emotional#not because of any one song but the build-up of the incredibly intimate journey the entire album had taken me on#and I haven’t re-listened to the entire album again but weirdly I have been thinking about it A LOT??#my fave tracks if anyone cares: Dog Years; Arsonist; Darwinism; Life of the Spider; Lonely is the Muse#listened to Lonely is the Muse again on my walk the other day and started sobbing lol#the letters to god are also amazing and gut-wrenching and the way they pin the album together is genius#ALSO also do yourself a favour and watch her 4 vevo live vids#i think they're half the reason I cant stop thinking about Halsey right now cos what the fuck??? what a fucking performer#ANYWAY jesus christ#if i cant have love i want power is probably still my favourite Halsey album but this one is really something special#my sister has not succumbed to my bullying so I havent had anyone to spill my many thoughts to sorryyyyyy#bullying her to hurry up and listen to the album I mean lol
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At the "passing" essay portion of Whipping Girl and I'm cheering and standing on my seat.
#SO TRUE!!!!!!#this is a good book. although I do disagree with like. most of her takes on nonbinary genders so far#it's genuinely an extremely enlightening book if u havent been listening to trans women on transmisogyny#if you have been. well. this book will repeat everything trans women have been saying for years about their experience#overall: good! 👍 queer theory
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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
#tw sh related#me when listening to so long london is giving me flashbacks the the worst most toxic friendship of my life#the relationship i attribute to most of my bad habits and fucked up shit i picked up from her#and she just moved on so quickly and i was left picking up the pieces for two years#and im still trying to mend them i havent even gotten there yet#and its fucking me up i cant think about it anymore#and i cant relapse right now i really really cant#im staying the weekend with my friend and we've been talking about this shit and god its supposed to be in the past#but its not and ive been lying so much#because she thinks its been two years when really its closer to maybe a month#god i cant relapse fuck fuck fuck shit dude#and my dumb stupid idiot ass keeps a fuck ton of pins with me because i like them on my bag#even tho thats how this shit started three years ago#i mean three fucking years how can i not be over it#this isnt the same girl i tried to kms over btw#i had a lot of toxic fucked up relationships in my suicidal era#ok i feel a bit better after having gotten that all out#im also wearing short sleeves rn to fully convince myself i cant relapse#ok im stable now i think at least i can breathe#alex says shit
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you areeee a monster from helllll
#lyrics#i havent listened to that song in a year but i always get remindwd of it in the the most random times lol#carpet meows
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Oh my god i need to get a phone with a headphone jack before i end it all.
#ive been using skullcandy wireless headphones for a few years but they fucking break every couple months.#also they discontinued the better kind. theres that too.#i bought a sony pair and ughhhh it sounds worse. trying to save it with equalizer but its so. whatever#can i just get the best and most convenient headphones ever. for free.#BUT UGGHHHH I HATE CHANGE!!! I HATE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!#its hard enough trying to get alternative earbuds. i havent had a non-iphone since my fucking flip phone.#i dont want things to be different even when its for the better. i think i hauve autism.#yeah theres the fucking dongle but i want to charge my phone too. 3rd party things that do both suck ive tried them. GIVE PHONE MORE HOLES#whatever my phone is fucked up anyway. home button broke months ago. i could replace it some time next year. probably.#i need music. all i do is listen to music. 32 hours on spotify this week if you were curious.#the kat goes meow
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And speaking of my playlist making adventures, im like, kind of irrationally scared of making fandom playlists for some reason (although i'll make oc ones and weird themed ones at the drop of a hat) despite the fact that theyre completely private so they're a bit. dire looking.
(a bunch of them used to be way longer but i lost them in an SD card implosion a while back and its been a bit slow-going rebuilding them orz but even accounting for that..... its dire......)
#the ikesen and pw and n7 ones were the longer ones. especially ikesen obvs LOL it used to be like over 70 tunes....#i should really work at remaking them... ive been biking a lot instead of taking the bus or walking#so i havent been able to fuck around with my phone when i listen to the most music orz#maybe i should just go somewhere nice like a park and hang out and listen to tunes........ that would be fun i think....#build playlists.... to listen to on shuffle while biking later LOL#also yeah those last two are pretty new additions. ol being like a year or two ago and me starting the vv one like a few months ago <3
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happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉
for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao
under cut cause the pics are big
Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins
Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]
What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。_。`)
Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)
and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers
#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year#so time princess is next in line for last place#its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me#nightbringer kinda surprised me!#i was expecting a call and some devil points#but this is a lot more then i expected :3c#also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers#i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part#(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it)#also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still)#twst was cute nothing too crazy#(thank you for ur presence lilia)#i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭#also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws#it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more#deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts#also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal#but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo)#so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d#dutp#obey me nightbringer#twisted wonderland#love and deepspace#im now 26....#oh jeez#long post#still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games)#my personality has refined over the years tho#anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :]#this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later
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