#i havent done art in years so im hoping this helps get me back into the swing of things
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𝖘𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 𝖘𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖆.
introducing my dearest hogwarts legacy oc, savina lovett. lover of the macabre, refuter of death, all around oddity. i'll pop some random info under the cut for anyone interested. please ignore the state of my blog i'm still getting set up lmao.
savina was adapted from an old concept i wanted to play with involving a pair of twins with a bit of a lake mungo vibe, some foreboding horror, rage & grief. very i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. i feel like something bad has happened. it hasn't reached me yet, but it's on its way.
some quick facts:
♰ her name comes from saint savina, patron saint of prisoners, ensuring they received the proper burial after their executions. her family are all named after saints, including her twin sister severa — who is not meant to be any sort of reference to snape, i just liked how their names sounded together. ♰ savina is { was } incredibly close with her twin sister, naturally. a year before severa was set to begin her classes at hogwarts, she disappeared. after exhaustive searches proved fruitless, her parents buried an empty coffin. savina has not accepted her sister's death. ♰ her father is a squib, but a noted scholar in the muggle world; when savina showed no magical abilities as a child, it was assumed that she was a squib as well. she's very close to her father, though her relationship with her mother is quite strained. ♰ she is, of course, a slytherin, with an unmatched intuition and perception; despite the belief that slytherins tend to be more traditional, she believes that nothing can be achieved within the bounds of conformation. ♰ she's a little weirdo. loves the macabre and strange. collects oddities. keeps a journal filled with skeletal / anatomical sketches she's done of various magical and non magical creatures etc. will tell you weird facts or say strange and sometimes unsettling things. we love odd girls in this house ♰ her patronus is a wolf { i have my own symbolism for this i am shoving aside any legit hp lore on this for funsies } & she eventually becomes a wolf animagus { heard that the process of becoming an animagus was incredibly difficult and basically said please try to tell me it's impossible again } ♰ she has dyscalculia and hates arithmancy with every single bone in her body. ♰ i didn't know much about sebastian's circumstances before starting the game, so her having a twin who is also in a ... ✨concerning predicament✨ wasn't an intentional mirror, but i kept it because i liked the trauma bonding and moderately codependent toxicity it burgeoned lol.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy oc#hl oc#hl#hl mc#my art#art.#let's see if the image quality didn't get trashed shall we?#pls be nice to me i wanted to ramble SOOOOO much about her#i havent done art in years so im hoping this helps get me back into the swing of things
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hello!! ive been following from here and on twitter, but mostly twitter, since u veeery first started posting xiaoven (venxiao?) art
i wanted to let you know that your art has irreversibly changed my life for the better. ive been drawing since i was very very tiny but by the time i got to junior year of high school i had no muse and no inspiration and no direction and your posts got to me at just the right time. your use of composition and colors are gorgeous and i dont even usually enjoy this type of art style but yours really just spoke to me
working tirelessly to get “to your level” (as silly as it sounds) completely reignited a spark in me — receiving your xiaoven christmas card and being able to examine all the details in physical form inspired me to work on a huge, detailed illustration of my own! (or at least i thought it was huge and detailed at the time lmao, looking back it’s not all that great). and even outside of that, every illustration was a push for me to learn more about backgrounds, lighting, the placement of detail, expression, character design — it was a lot and im eternally grateful for it.
sorry for rambling at you !! but thank you so much for the work you do. im now broke in my early years of college so i havent been able to afford your shop wares, but i wouldve loved to help monetarily for all the good youve done for me just by existing. im not nearly as active of a follower as before (and even then ‘active’ was a stretch, ive kind of just lurked) but one of my mutuals reposted a work of yours and i felt like just kinda putting this here iunno
and im so so sorry if this is super parasocial or weird LOL :”))) i promise this is probably the only time ill have the courage to interact directly
thank you, ever :)
heyo anon!! i was pretty floored reading this... thank you for taking the time to send such a kind message. i don't think it's ever too late to come back to drawing, so i'm glad you found your drive. hope you've been having fun with every single illustration since, no matter how they turned out!
developing skills is hard and sometimes discouraging work... but i think getting to the point where you're able to express yourself the way you want must be one of the happiest feelings in the world.
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[ vent post ? ] i wonder if i should forgive them or not ...
if u dont rlly care abt my cringey ahh story u can scroll away XD
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im not going to mention their real username here , so i'll call them as B and K . K is B's younger " sister "
around 2023 , me and some of my close friends found B's youtube channel .
B was and is still a problematic person . he , alongside with his friend group , would harass other ppl , steal art and post n$fw art on youtube ... ( he is a minor . )
at first , we would said some mean things towards B like ' u should quit ' , ' touch grass ' and stuff like that ...
( mind u , we were very childish and stupid at the moment )
but when we realized B might have had mental illness , we would stop harass him and we told him to ' take a break ' and ' get help '
even though we were sincere , B did not listen and started harassing us back . he would tell K to repeatedly tagging us in their posts and vids to harass us .
they didnt stop there .
B and K sent my friends threats , inculding grape threats . they also s3xualize me thru their n$fw drawing of me , saying that i have big breasts and made me feel extremely uncomfortable .
( that is not my body type . heck , they didnt even know how i look like and still have the audacity to say stuff about my body .
besides , me , B and K are literal minors . )
bcuz of their constant harassment , i took a long break and delete my youtube channel to focus on studying .
after i finish all my exams , i return with a 2nd channel .
but somehow B and K found it even though me and my friends never tell anybody about that channel .
i blocked their comment so they wont be able to comment on my channel . but instead , they stalk my channel everyday , nit picking on every single posts i made ( those posts arent even related to them )
they even attacked me for expressing my own opinion abt their idol ( i didnt even know that was their idol in the 1st place . )
i even made an apology post for B and K , apologizing for harassing them and i also forgive all the things they have done to me . and tell them to leave me alone .
but they didnt listen and they would say that i have to do a face and voice reveal in order to be forgiven ... i'll never do that .
bcuz of it , i abandoned my 2nd channel and changed my username completely .
im now on my 3rd channel ... they havent found me yet but i hope they wont be able to find it .
thinking abt it again , i wonder if i rlly should forgive them ...
i want to move on but they pretty much fcked up my mental health . bcuz of them i always feel on edge whenever i post stuff online .
im scared that they will find me and harass me all over again . i hate being stalked like that .
they could be finding me rn , idk ...
me and my friends already stop harassing them for over a year already and yet B , K and their friend group haven't stop yet . they still want to continue the arguments .
i was sincere abt the apology . i didnt even seek their forgiveness , i just want to be left alone . idc if they still hate my guts , but still ...
im tired of them already .
T_T
#vent#vent post#personal vent#cyberbullying#kangel#needy girl overdose#mentally tired#:(#tw harassment
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Signalis Post (barely coherent thought vomit)
So I finished signalis on Monday and i think ive just about recovered enough for me to make a gush post about it on tumblr dot com, which i think i have to do cause i dont think any other game has really hit me as hard as this one. Spoilers obvs.
Being pre-transion, with that associated depression and closing off from oneself, ive always found it difficult to get out my feelings, even in private with just myself, and yet signalis has filled me throughout with its beautiful romantic melancholy and left me genuinely sobbing for the gay robot and her space girlfriend (almost worried that if id played this game on estrogen it might actually have just killed me on the spot). the only other times i can think of where i really cried were playing We Know The Devil near the beginning of the year, which really fkin hit the part of me that struggles to accept myself, and that time i rewatched the last episode of she-ra after reading the ‘Word War Etheria’ fanfic, which brings the characters so much more to life i fell for them all over again.
Signalis is a game that calls back to a lot of classic horror like resident evil and silent hill, which i havent got round to playing any of yet, but i think nostalgia works both ways sometimes and i’ll be playing them sooner now. sometimes horror gets stereotyped as all death and violence, some games fill themselves with skulls and corpses, and big ugly monsters and basically shout ‘DEATH!’ in your face repeatedly and it all just comes off as a bit garish and ridiculous and not actually very scary really. Signalis sits at the other end of that scale (with some of my other fav horror games like soma, cry of fear) where its environs are most usually just… quiet. Still. Muffled. Sad. just as often as theres tension or creeping fear because of this i find theres a strange kind of comfort too. Maybe its just that in most other genres of games theres so much of music, UI elements, pickups and interactibles with vibrant design. Here, theres room for your mind to just occupy the space. A soft fog. A dimly lit room. An empty train. Snow out a window. Liminal spaces that dont expect anything from you.
Signalis is a game thats just simply, unapologetically gay, and i dont think i would have been quite so invested in Elster and Ariane’s relationship if they were a straight couple. Its why representation is important, if art’s way for us to explore our emotions then its important to have media that we can relate to. Even Adler’s role isnt typically masculine. Our replika characters are manufactured, designed for certain roles in the base. Notes from the tough Stars and Storchs in the shooting range, the dollish Eules with the fairy lights and music player in the dorm. I couldnt help but think of groups of Eules sat around chatting, together, and im yearning for that feeling of togetherness, of understanding a friend that closely. I somehow missed the couple in the mineshaft (next playthough, ill find you v_v ). Despite the harshness of life in the Eusan nation (especially for the gestalts) the characters in it are defined by their feelings of belonging and hope. With the obvious parallels to east germany, i think of posters of cosmonauts and space travel from the time. Propaganda, sure but also made with the genuine belief in something greater. When the events of the game take this away, well, we find the last Kolibri, whod rather lose herself than lose her [ah. Im not sure theres a word here to properly describe the relationship they embody]. Its a game defined by loneliness.
We dont lie up at night scared by some corrupted android. We arent stuck with horror at the flesh everywhere, not on its own. We lie awake thinking about Elster and Ariane’s love for each other, the horror of their decline, the futility of trying to hold on forever. Its existential horror done perfectly. It shows an ending postponed and stretched far beyond its limits, and so squarely reminds you that you do, in fact, have to die one day. You’ll break down. One day you’ll say your last words to the people you love and you wont even know you have. Ariane’s final few diaries arrive with the full force of the narrative behind it, like a spear through my heart. For the record, I got the promise ending. Im still sad. It's a game about raging desperately against an unfair ending. I might think about this game for the rest of my life. I would sincerely say its an artistic masterpiece, by the sure definition of video games as art.
I like that the story leaves a lot open and abstract. I think it makes the emotional themes takes centre stage more. And i havent had nearly enough time to sift through it and come up with my own takes, we’ll need a few more playthroughs for that. And theres so much more to say that cant go in just these few paragraphs! Signalis is a game about two girls who had to run away from everything to find someone they belonged with. The universe may be cold and bleak, but you have to try, you might just find something beautiful, even if it doesnt last forever. I think if anything, we should all have the chance to find love and happiness like that, and we shouldnt have abandon a world that doesnt work for us to do it.
#signalis#lgbt#lesbian#long ass emotional ramble post#fuck im nearly crying again#horror#liminal#signalis spoilers#elster#ariane yeong
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2023 recap + 2024 plans
i wrote 261,200 words in 2023; 172,500 of those for Whispers, 88,700 for Goddess-Touched!
i read 16 books to completion, beta'd for an additional 2, am currently reading 3, and got partway through 5 others before having to put them down.
i maintained my streaming schedule with only a handful of emergency-related exceptions, and drew, uh, a shit ton over the course of the year!
writing goals for 2024:
fix Echoseers (full stylistic rewrite, along with some plot tweaks)
finish the first draft of Goddess-Touched (and edit it hardcore as well)
work on as-yet-unnamed book 4 of tms
fix up Whispers with the added feedback of beta readers
start querying Whispers (i'll look into self publishing down the road if i don't end up finding an agent. the way my brain functions i must cling to the hope of not having to market it myself tooth and nail for the time being)
POTENTIALLY. if my brain fixates on it. write the script for The Lost so that i actually have something to work with to make the comic happen
one of my offline friends is starting to get into writing, and im hoping to help them through some of the early rough patches and potentially co-write a thing with them!!
i completely dropped the ball on the weekly writing updates so im gonna try and get back to that on wednesday. and potentially get back into the weekly ask games!
non-writing goals for 2024:
youtube. i want to make speedpaints and worldbuilding videos and shit. ive already made the basic animation stuff to have a lil sona to do the gesturing for me and i know how to make videos i just havent done it in a While
twitch!! i want to stream a bit more often because its fun and if i let myself branch out into video games as well as art itll be easier to do that. u might see me streaming in the evenings sometime soon. (psst im not streaming this weekend as im still doing a shit ton of holiday/social stuff but the weekend of the 13th ill be back to both patreon and twitch baybee)
SPEAKING OF i want to get my shit together enough to do like. monthly short story releases for my patrons/ko-fi members. early access, that is, so if i post one in january, it'll be posted here a month or two later for all to see/read
i want to read as many books as i did in 2023, if not more! im also considering adding book reviews/thoughts to youtube or patreon/ko-fi perks
my weekend hiatuses aren't going anywhere. having time where im not actively engaging with tumblr + don't feel obligated to do Anything online has done wonders for my mental health and i highly recommend it. focus mode on my phone and leechblock on desktop has helped so so so much
and that's all i'm sharing here!! i hope 2024 is a better year for all than the last <3
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personal
Hi, need to scream. Tumblr seems to listen best. can and please feel free to ignore.
okay so essentially my job has removed all of the things I use and need in order to be able to do my job with my mental disorder. my mental DISABILTY. that i was honest with them and told them about at my freaking trial shift. that i told them i needed certain things in order to do well. nothing drastic. but things that helped me significantly with my performace.
SOOOOOOOOO i am now severely struggling at my job because they've taken those away cuz they were 'annoying' or 'in the way' or 'clutter'. like. im not even leaving shit every where. It's like, maybe at most 3 sticky notes? (for example) and they're written just for me, like just so i can have a list of things i can do and know to go back and look on when i need a task because ive finished the one i was doing. but then my boss reads them and critiques them as if they're for everyone. or says 'okay yeah but we do that every day so i dont see why you have to write it down. you should know to do it by now' LIKE BRO. I forget to put deodorant on some days because of said mental disability. it's something i do and have done every day since i was 12 or 13. thats 12 years. and i still forget some days just cuz my brain wasn't working properly.
AND now due to this they have put me, one of the staff currently with more seniority than 3 other staff, down to one shift a week, while every one else is full time or heavily part time.
In march i was full time and kicking ass, I was the fastest employee on my tasks, i was doing great, the customers loved me and now that all of my things that i need in order to function have been removed for everyone else's aesthetic preferences, I'm suffering, and most likely being silently fired.
like... what do i do with that. I can do my job, with my accomadations - that arent that many btw - i dont expect them to move mountains for me. But dude. I hate this feeling so much because i'm capable, theyve seen me be capable. i was for 1.5 years. like i want to be good at my job. I like and enjoy being good at my job. i've told them that. I want to do good but my ability to be good is being derailed, and i just get told to try harder, just work harder, impress your boss with how hard you work -> for minimum wage, i might add.
and everyone is like "just get a new job, just apply for more jobs you're not applying for enough, literally just apply for everything, even if youre not qualified" and i cant just do that, due to said disability. there are jobs i am unable to do. so i have to be a lil picky otherwise i'll be right back where i am now. and ive been looking for months and applying for months with no luck - no one ever responds. why list jobs if you dont respond?????
it's getting to the point where im debating opening up drawing commissions or writing commissions, or something that i can make to earn a little extra cash here and there while i get over this transition period. And that's a big deal for me because i don't do commissions. I do my art for myself or for when i want to share something i've made already, like the UTWT books. Hell, I did a tattoo design for a friend on here that i put easily 40 hours into, and i felt guilty that they wanted to pay me for it because i'd asked them for the idea. Like, i don't do commissions. so for me to be considering it is really telling for me.
anyways. this is a bajillion words long now, but i already feel better. and I'm posting it in the middle of the night in hopes that the void just consumes it and never lets it see the light of day.
If you read this, thanks and sorry for the bummer of a post. This isnt a pity party or a poor yoon thing. I'm not looking for comfort or any of that. this is a 'i don't have a therapist and my friends and partner and family are sick of hearing me bitch, when i havent been able to fix it in months despite trying my best too' thing. so yeah..
i hope the new year brings me something good.
#i just needed to get that out#dont mind my screaming#literaly ignore it its just me bitching about my job for the millionth time#im not even doing organizing tags so itll vanish into the interweb
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HAHAHAHA Every Turk Family has one of those names and unironically mine does too 🫡 Tell your mother thank you she is a very lovely lady
I know all of the artists you listed below because my dad blasts them on the radio everytime we go out... I call it old people music but hey I never said it was bad, they're awesome and I might have memorised some of the artist's songs from how much I listen to them... Barış Manço is a classic without a doubt! Fun fact my parents were able to go to his concert and got a signed picture with him I will always envy how lucky they were 😭 I love how women in the industry made the most iconic songs I hear them often in weddings too! Or clubs, even though I only went to one once I'm not very fond of them...
My questions were do you have any tips or inspiration with how you draw! I love your art and artstyle and it's honestly what I've been trying to achieve for a while, I can't believe I'm learning how to draw men because of a silly lawyer show it's a disease...
(We are just having a conversation at this point) (I feel like those people who speak out loud in public) (I hope you and anyone who's reading this is having a good day :) be kind to yourself and others everyone)
OH MY GOD i envy them too😭😭 also omg that sounds like heaven to me. the other day i went out partying and i felt sooo out of place because i only knew like 3 songs. omg it was so so bad.
hmmm tips and inspiration…. my number 1 tip would definitely be to look at a lot of other artists you like and analyze what exactly you like. and then try to emulate that in your own work. i try to look for inspiration everywhere - artists online, traditional artists, old masters, 3d artists, even theatre and poetry, etc. - doesnt mean that i am equally inspired by them all (because all these things at once sound so scary and big but they really arent!) but rather, i try to be open for anything and that helps me find inspiration :)
ill try to explain my thoughts more under the cut because this got long:
for me for example, so far i only posted some art i made that was lined (which, i would say makes up maybe half of the art i draw - i mostly sketch and recently have been building up the courage to paint more) and one of my inspirations is meltow. i think if you go over and check out their art youll definitely see it lol. but also i love the clean look some comics have and my friends tell me my art looks like it belongs in a comic which, i guess yeah :) when it comes to colors and composition i LOVE this artists works. i still have a lot to learn and just looking at their works inspires me so much!!!
i will say i have ALWAYS struggled with lineart. its probably the worst thing in the world to me because it never feels right!!! i like lining on paper with harsh inks and stiff ink nibs that allow for like. very little variety in line weight, but i havent done that in over 3 years (i hope i can get back to that). but yes, something about lineart makes me feel so icky when i use any brush that reacts to the pressure you put on your tablet LOL i just hate it. ugh. i havent been able to work it out.
it was only in 2020 i think that i decided to try it out with a thick brush with some texture and no pen pressure. that probably was the first time i got actual lineart that (at the time) i liked done. and then later on, discovering that other artists are able to achieve beautiful drawings with similar brushes AND that lining with a very simple brush can feel so satisfying helped me evolve a lot! until 2022, i actually wasnt able to give my art the kind of finished look that i wanted. so what people consider my style is really just born out of my limits and working with them. that obviously doesnt mean that i dont try to challenge myself as much as i can. i do and i think everyone should! thats what makes art so fun
if theres any good advice i can give to a beginner itd probaaaaably be. okay this is difficult and i feel like im not really qualified for this. as a hobbyist much less so because a lot of the knowledge and skills i acquired was through an intuitive process (i could never stick with habits such as regular studies or warmups or whatever is meant to be good for you) which definitely isnt the most “productive” way but i mean it doesnt have to be. its just a hobby! you dont have to perfect art. but yes, i would definitely say dont stop drawing. youll always be your harshest critic and at the beginning, and especially if you begin at an older age because youve been training your eye your whole life but your drawing skills for only a relatively short time you will notice a lot of mistakes. and youll think you wont achieve the image you have in your head. and maybe you wont (because youll always strive for more and youll never really be satisfied as an artist bla bla) for a while. but you have to keep drawing! try out different strategies, find out how other artists draw, watch speedpaints, try out different papers and pencils, try everything that makes it more fun and keep going! it will all pay off!!
in my eyes theres also no point in saying “i should wait till im better to draw this idea i have” because if inspiration strikes you you should use that. even though i still sometimes catch myself thinking like that. you can always redraw things later on!! if theres anything that will keep you drawing you should use that! like getting into shows and games that make me want to draw helps a ton LOL people are not joking when they say getting obsessed with one character is the quickest way to improve. i 100% agree!!! if you saw my first nachos you wouldnt even recognize him. not kidding wow this got long. thank you for the questions though!! i hope some of my rambling can help you. feel free to talk to me whenever!
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i feel kinda bad abt taking my mental health/work day
like yea i get an insane amount of school work but theres ppl i go to school w who have practice, and rehersal and get it done. am i seriously this mentally weak and unstable?? that i get so stressed out and anxious over school i have to take a day to do it cause i cant do my work at school? really???? like i feel idk idk how i feel. i dont think guilty is the right word? but neither is weak? idk. but its bad. theres just so much going on in my family life too that im worried about and i keep trying to tell myself that this is ok and needed and i just have to get the work done but its so hard to not worry and get overanxious to the point i cant go to school. mental health is such a tricky thing and i know its important but i feel so bad when i take care of it. i will say i put on my insta note "needing to stay home from school to do schoolwork is crazy" and like 5 ppl from school have responded saying they do the same thing all the time cause its so necessary. that makes me feel less bad abt taking today off, well not really off im gonna spend my whole day working even tho thats what i did yesterday too after my PSAT and barely made a dent in my planner. its just its so much. so so so so much and i feel bad that other ppl can handle it but i cant. ik ppls brains are built different but how come i struggle so much in school and w school work and others just pass w As and dont even bat an eye???? ig stupid is how it makes me feel. guilty, weak, and stupid. its only october and i feel like im on a sinking ship, i have school to worry abt, loved ones in florida to worry abt, my mas health to worry abt, my health to worry abt, keeping the house at least kinda clean to worry abt, plans to worry abt, social things to worry abt, so much to worry abt. also slightly unrelated but i have a dr appt to go to on saturday and get to skip out on helping w open house at my school and trying to explain to my friend why no she wouldnt rather spend her saturday talking w her mothers spinal surgeon about how she could be paralyzed for the rest of her life, or how her back conditions could kill her. id rather work open house but she insisted i was "lucky" to miss out. i just feel so overwhelmed already. its only october and my mental health is already at such an edge that i cant go to school. ik that going where i go will be good in the long run and the adults around me are constantly telling me that but idk if its worth it since who knows if ill even make it to the long run. they keep insisting that too. ignoring my mental health concerns and just saying that i go to such a good school and my diploma will help me much more than if i went to public school. which is all tru but it shouldnt be at the cost of my mental, and physical health. they say itll make college easier but if this is supposed to prep me for college idk if i can make it another 4 years of this.
im not happy anymore. not long term anyways like sure hoco was fun and i was happy, i was happy getting ready and dancing but as soon as it ended i wasnt happy anymore. i was back to my now usual empty kind of sadness. i watch shows, play games, and make art that usually makes me happy and it doesnt anymore. i stopped drawing for pleasure, only watch shows and yt series to get it over with and havent touched any games in a long time. nothings fun anymore. everyone is so happy, going to parties, hanging out, having fun but here i am practically drowning trying to even crack a smile. ive started just doing the bare minimum for myself to survive. school, sleep, eating, showers basic things. ive abandoned most of my hobbies and ik thats not good for me but i just cant bring myself to do them. i wanna be happy and i dont want ppl ik to worry so i just kinda fake it hoping no one will notice and maybe i can make other ppl happy. im lonely, sad, anxious, guilty, depressed. i should be excited abt things but everything feels like an obligation now. im just trying to go abt life trying not to die and thats pretty much it.
#emo#school#high school#help me pls#please help#send help#pls help#self help#help please#need help#help
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hello france :~) ive been putting off sending this ask bc i feel like a parasite and that i should be managing on my own but...its about soma and u are the only person i know i could reach out to for anything soma related. im studying japanese at uni and need to pick my own source to translate for this semester, so after discussing it with my professor (who was very shocked to find out soma is also an author lol) we agreed i should give his short stories a try!!!! the thing is i dont have them and theres no way in hell i can order any number of spin to poland at the moment...my question is, and thats only bc i assume u have read at least some of them so if im wrong and FORGIVE ME!!!!!, is there any way u could help me with getting my hands on the source? not literally as i cant have them physically obviously. im not asking u to straight up send me the text although thatd be so lovely i wont lie but maybe theres a way i could read them without being painfully limited by logistics.... ;__; my prof seems hooked on isana from what ive told her about it so thats my priority at the moment. academics aside its also just disheartening to be missing out on ur lifetime favorite artists work....like...im willing to go such lengths for it so even if u want something in return im fine with that. ive already dedicated so much of my university life to soma so ive accepted thats how i gotta move lol....that aside, I LOVE UR ART!!!! ive been silently following u for years now, i love reading ur thoughts about somas music and writing, about fling posse and literally everything else, they might be little things but it motivates me a lot to not give in and start consuming content passively but keep being passionate!!!!! people dont always understand it which hurts but its one of the only things about myself that i wish would remain unchanging for long time...<3 thank u so much for taking ur time to read this, i hope u always take care!!!🩵
hello anon and thank you for this really long ask www it's always nice to see another soma saito fan who's interested in his activities outside voice acting.
to be honest i do not have a physical copy of the anthologies his work is featured in 😭😭 a lovely friend was kind enough to share them w me whenever possible. that said i do not have a copy of isana ! i personally havent read it ( i REALLY want to. it's the only soma piece i havent read). but thats so nice that youve dedicated a study for that, i would have done the same when i was in college www
im so flattered that what i do and have done as a fan have inspired you...in this day where it seems like cringe culture is coming back (i guess it's always been here, but in different forms a la corn plate tweet)
take care too anon !! if you ever wanna talk soma, and if youre comfortable w revealing yourself, shoot me a dm ww you are not a parasite !!!!
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that’s meta
#i've been reading webtoons and i've been inspired to draw more#the last few weeks have been long as hell. but i hope i can get a routine down and find time for all teh things i want#and maybe work on projects i've had in mind like gatdamn#the way to success is starting offwith a bunch of failures and its a shame im so afraid of failure that i dont start anything#i need to just go for it....but its a lot of mental power to do more than wake up in the morning#and i still end up rushing to workk phshd#so instead of starting with a webtoon with an actual plot and flow i'll try for makingmore silly comics again#you see how i always went for making bigger storylines and dramatic comics#but i chicken out because man my art sucks bruh#i feel i need more encouragement from somewhere but not from the outside#its gotta be inside me and i was hoping all hte medicine i've been taking would help unlock my confidence#unlock my self esteem and let them tell me i can do it and open the other door of believing it#i have so many ideas i'm too afraid to put to paper nowadays. i miss when i made feh comics i tried to upload like 2 times a week#i made friends and interacted with yall. but now im trying so hard to detach from folks because just how awful people can be#i havent made new friends since feh. i havent grown since then. i want to be something. i had aspirations#but im locked up. physically mentally environmentally aspirationally. for years. since middle school#i made so many comics back then. had many ideas. wrote out story ideas with friends. dreamed of becoming an animator#wanting to make webcomics. selling merch at conventions. becoming a freelance artist. work as a children's book illustrator#dreams that i still holding onto and clutching it towards my chest as i'm crying. im still alive yet i havent done any of that#i think i never strived for my dreams because how every year i wanted to be unalive. and every new dream came out to tell me#hey if you stay alive you could be this. i'm almost 25. i lived over a decade longer than i wanted to because i still i have time#i can accomplish one of these and i know i have the potential to be one of these things. i know inside i can even do them all#but i dont have the support. i dont have the mind or the body to be these things.#i'll stay alive year after year coming up with goals and then not going for them.#ooh i want to make a game. ooh i want to make a tv show. ohh i want to be a baker.#im going to keep forcing myself to stay alive by coming up with goals to strive for but never follow through#and its going to keep accumulating until i truly die with nothing to show for it. a room full of WIPs and lists and sketches and drafts#yeesh didnt expect to go on a rant. went off on a tangent there *wipes away a tear*#anyways. cammy likes to transform into random things just to show off they know how to. cammypus is still a work in progress#but cammy figured out how to break the fourth wall. to becaome a loading screen advicce fairy and speechbubbles
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adventure time wizard city liveblog
well here we go
my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014
this takes place at the same time as obsidian?
DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE
DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE
yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk
@spaceacepearl joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN
This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene.
“get offa my bus kid”
Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new!
OH MY GOD--
HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME
HAHAHAHAH
THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER
i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs
my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”
cadorka..... wow
We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses
“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL
i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb
SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch...
i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead
how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up
i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out.
im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...
Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date.
“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness
ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings.
PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road!
candy people in their natural habitat
Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors.
“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady
the mystery of how he gets clothes
and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?
NANI
what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories.
OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over
peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER
love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him
wow, blaine, wow
they have a crush
LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!
i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible.
TRDGFYGHJH
WE
WE MADE A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS
PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET
ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity
who plagiarized finn’s signature???
turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!
i love this band
i understand your pain peps
you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)
I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian.
that... that poor kid is still a rock
and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose
i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist.
i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good.
WH
WHAT
DID SPADER JUST DIE
IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM
oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck.
Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland.
THESE ARE JUST HUMANS
OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS
my child
is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this
HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME
the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose
bufo killed one of his own students? but why????
“MY UNCLE’S A COP”
“no one likes a rat”
i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?
HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN
did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,?
EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL
MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I HAVE QUESTIONS
god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time
these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y.
fdgfhgf because he’s like 500
“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”
sorry, cadebra, i have news for you
is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be,
ANTS
oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :(
HELP
the writing on the wall...
SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST
PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????
THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW
okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T
wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not
HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF
sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????
fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense
This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!
LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG
LEAF MAN
DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY
DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY
HE LIVES
MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL
okay, it’s over :)
first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing.
it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance.
it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self.
i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol.
THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff!
God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.
That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her.
It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special!
I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate.
I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end.
I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!! I wish they drew more from that episode.
Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him.
The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule.
I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER.
We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!
I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!
Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T
i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger!
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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?
ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH
uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)
so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too
another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)
as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.
then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD
i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)
in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.
i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)
anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)
uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha
ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow
BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks
#its me the mun#unconcerned ramblings#i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up#but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them#considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm#so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything#like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this#i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long#I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes#i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha#also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel#which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA#i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so
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ok heres a quick update
its 2020 i dont know why i didnt do this during the lockdown
*cue the Apparently kid*
well apparently its been about 2 years since i posted here... i havent updated in a while..
and apparently its my birthday.. and apparently ive never been 25 before LOL
> okay so xmas was great, grey day but had a lovely meal outside (tonys 7 dishes made in like 3 hours - magic) with aunty taloa, susi, both grandads, all the AKMavs, all the wellingtonians (mish tony mac) and uncle cliff present. Jake in Auckland with his humungous family lol, I should have gone with him but we’re not married yet so whatareyagunado. yashudasuckanigaddickfafree
I would like to have a special mention for Uncle Cliff who was having a riot of a time and was my talent quest partner, although we lost the comp I think we won in Xmas cheer hahahaha.
I would also like to have a special mention for Cliff’s brother, my dad lol who was my other talent quest partner and was holding it down for the bro so he could have a good time without it getting out of hand (it be like dat sometimes - cliff is alcohol dependent, misdiagnosed w schizophrenia, actually bipolar i think, regularly medicated i think, super crazy talent music art brain, constantly damned to hell by their minister father)
> ummmm the year - i had a great time in isolation sorry lol, i really liked being allowed to do nothing and not having to feel guilty for it.
> ahhh what else im sick of being broke? well actually im okay with it and im happy to go job searching and spend another year here actually venturing out into the canterbury world, BUT: jake has decided he wants to move to australia and get rich quick lol. no opinions about it yet except weve both been floating around here for 3 years tryna do our theatre thing and nothing is working lol. (im coming to realize that there are certain people here that say they wanna support us with our artist ventures but still expect us to work for free - could be our fault because we joke about being broke all the time, but I still dont think its right. imagine you went to school for 3 years to get a paper in a thing and then people still expect you to work your qualified ass for exposure) so the mindset is, if we’re gonna switch lanes to start working shit jobs just to make money, we may as well go to a place where the shit jobs make shitloads of money.
> and to address all those broken ass posts from a while back... holy frick was i a mess. glad to say i am in a better place mentally and emotionally. i think i have matured a lot and even though i still dont think that whole situation sits right with me, i have accepted that theres nothing i can do or could have done and im ready to get the fuck on with it.
the depression stuff was/is a lot and i realized that jake was a shitbag during my depression because hes been depressed his entire life and didnt even want to acknowledge it (call back to that other post where he said ”we all have it”) its not something i want to get into with him yet, but i keep it in the back of my mind. im strong again, im at a place where i can feel genuine empathy for him - which is an emotion jake’s robot brain knows how to identify but cant actually feel. yet. he needs help and i hope he can find it before the big leap idk if thats my job or if i just have to squeeze his hand through his journey to being a new man (this is a ref to him getting his pe’a this year woop woop)
thats all i can process atm
happy happy birthday me
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Today was not what I had planned. I woke up a 8 to a text from the dentist reminding me about my appointment. That I didnt realize was today. I thought it was thursday. So I am very glad I got up! I had about an hour until I needed to leave though. I had plenty of time to get washed and dressed. James wold soon leave for work and I would get all cute.
I didnt have high hopes for the dentist. But it ended up being fine. I parked in the parking garage. Forgot the ticket in the car, would go back for it later. And I didnt get lost finding the office this time.
I did not see the main dentist, I saw an associate. But I loved her. She was so sweet. And while she understood why I wanted the tooth removed, she thinks its salvageable and that insurance should cover it. I got all the xrays and now that I have this insurance I was like. Okay. Im willing to get this fixed, with the caveat that if they get in there and the took is broken (which is what I think), they will pull it. So I felt like things were good. The woman at the desk even called the other office to make me an appointment so I wouldnt have to call and it was so kind.
I left there in a good mood. I went back to the car to grab that parking ticket, and then went to the fancy grocery store. I got some stuff thats hard to get at the regular stores. And just had a nice time looking around.
I headed home after that. High spirits. But almost as soon as I got home I get a call from the dentist that they called the insurance and they wont cover anything. At all. Because I hadnt had the insurance for a year?? I have never heard of this before. Like the whole reason I got this plan was because it covered so much of the root canal procedure. And so I started crying. And they the woman tells me that the first of the three appointments I have would cost $1500. So I was just like. I guess. Cancel it. She apologized but I was just like. I did the thing I was supposed to do. I got the insurance. I pay it on time. But I just felt so stupid.
So I was a bit hysterical and I called the insurance with the plan to yell and then cancel the insurance. But once I got through the robot voices I was mostly just very very sad. I knew the person on the phone wasnt at fault. So thats what I said. I was just like. Hey, Im going to start sobbing in a second, I am not mad at you, I know you just work there, but I dont know what to do. I did the thing I was supposed to do but I cant get the help I need now. And she was so kind and right away put in a request to override the year waiting period. So I have to wait until wednesday to find out if that is approved. But it was a little bit of hope I guess? I called back the dentist and explained what happened and she said to call her back when I get word and that the dentist will see what can be done on their end too.
Its wild though. Why is that a thing?? I would have gotten the cheaper plan if I knew I wouldnt be able to use any of the coverage for a year?? Like I get its probably my fault but I have never heard of anything like that before. It wasnt even like I hadnt met a minimum for the year, they were just like oh you literally do not have any coverage on procedures until next January. Because you havent had the insurance before. If I knew that I wouldnt have waited for the open market. I would have just. Gotten a plan before that. Its such a shit show.
It took a while for me to calm down. I was just so drained and upset.
But I didnt want to lose the whole day.
James would go out for a long bike ride soon after that. They waited until I was alright before they left. I needed to be alone for a bit though.
So I cleaned a little. I hung a tapestry. I cleaned the fish tank. I thought about what I will pack for camp. I had snacks. I played video games. I finished making the bed. I changed all the sheets and the took off the velvet duvet cover. I also refolded and sorted out the winter coats and sweaters I shoved under the bed. They are all folded and nice now.
James would get home before 230. I was laying in bed but once they were washed and dressed again we headed out into the world.
We walked to the art store. And I got all the new paint I wanted. I got the highlighter colors and a few secondaries I thought would be hard to mix. I am very happy with the colors I got. I may go back to buy some medium. But I am very pleased.
And it was so nice going out with James. The weather was warm. And It was just a lovely day to be out. We stopped to take pictures with the knock out roses. And I was just really happy.
Not to long after we got home James got to work making us dinner. And I laid down for a bit. But I never actually slept. Thats alright. I did a little work stuff but tomorrow I will really get into that.
After dinner I got to work on the painted stool project. I was going to do sprinkles but I decided to do Matiesse inspired shapes instead. I am pretty happy with them!! The highligher/neon colors are a little thin, so I will have to do more layers to cover the sharpie I drew first. I wouldnt have used the sharpies if I knew it would do that. Live and learn. But so far so good. One or two more layers of paint and then I will outline and add texture details using paint markers. But I am very pleased with the project. Next will be the little heart shelf.
I have been hanging out in bed with sweetP since then. I am very tired. But I am going to go rinse off and put on soft clothes. Tomorrow I am going to do work and art and try to make myself work on store stuff. Because I have been so bad about that. But I have the pictures so I will get it done.
I hope you all sleep well. Take care of eachother. Goodnight!
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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21
zoom and enhonse
LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats
DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today
CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//
so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza
(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)
OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.
i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo
we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE
[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.
time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then
nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing
thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)
silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]
THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog
EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE
sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text
charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this
i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"
charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons
charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP
oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.
thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem
solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.
michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME
its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.
jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE
we are just calling it a weird dog
we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,
JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!
solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found
silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!
man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.
we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans
UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL
huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.
used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.
i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.
charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.
okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.
oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered
k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,
time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that
first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog
(oh my god this is from late 2018)
leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead
nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables
WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions
HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]
camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent
man remember when charlie didnt wear pants
oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!
okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.
ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.
SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE
charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!
LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian
jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,
we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.
michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.
BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)
THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL
sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.
man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?
solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]
prophecies are weird.
charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money
oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"
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ok i still havent gotten the secret ending but farming for it might take me a bit so im gonna make a thoughts post for age of calamity now:
Major spoilers obvs so ill put it under a read more
things i enjoyed:
revali beatdown simulator
the controls for the divine beasts are a bit clunky, but i think the angles they used for them did an excellent job at really making the player feel like we were actually controlling a divine beast. so i think it was done well.
link’s personality really gets to shine full force in this game with the amount of cut scenes and it was wonderful to see
every character clearly had a lot of love put into how they operate. they truly all feel unique, & all of their play styles fit them really well in my opinion
the game does a really good job of making you understand what a real threat the monsters are. like in botw they’re intimidating at first, but once you’re far enough into the game they become just an inconvenience to work around if anything. this game managed to actually make certain monsters intimidating for me again, and i think that’s a real accomplishment
the blight battles are actually somewhat challenging in this game and that is truly a commendable achievement lol i think all the bosses are good tbh. i didnt rly dislike or not enjoy any of them.
the way daruk and link’s friendship & urbosa’s motherly relationship towards zelda got to shine was. so good. it’s all i could’ve ever wanted
seeing the descendants again was really nice & it was awesome to see the champions interacting with them!! especially sidon and mipha omggggg. that was. really fucking good shit
kohga. just. kohga in general. getting to see more of him was really rad, he’s such a fun guy! and his english va was Excellent. you could really tell he was having a lot of fun playing him, and it was lovely to see! :)
zelda getting to really shine in this game was also lovely to see. and her being so assertive and badass by the end? omg. it was so wonderful especially after botw. man.
the combat is done very well imo. im rly glad that they took so many elements from botw, but also added their own flares to make it feel fresh. it was rad.
sidon’s tagline is “winning smile” and his power is “boundless optimism” and i think that’s beautiful
the music in this game is SOOOOO good oh my god. multiple times during playing i had to pause to just appreciate it. it’s pretty much all remixes of botw with a few originals for the new characters, but they all slap. there was not a single song in this game i didn’t like. it is definitely one of my favorite video game soundtracks officially. maybe one of my favorite overall soundtracks in general tbh.
the visuals obviously look just like botw, but it still looked fucking gorgeous at some points. like. man. they really went off to make it look not only faithful to botw as far as appearance goes, but also as far as capturing botw’s beauty and it was. excellent to see!
if anything is true to botw’s backstory, it’s definitely how op link is. cause he was established to be op in botw, & when u finish botw he is also op as hell. he is so fun to play as the higher leveled he gets. he absolutely kicks ass. especially with a two-handed weapon??? daaaaammmmnnn. thats my badass baby boy!!!!
link eating rocks not once, but TWICE. just showing PEAK gremlin energy. 10/10 for those scenes they were great
the ending was really beautiful actually and i did cry like a little baby for it what about it
things i didn’t like:
obviously first and foremost.. this is not the game we were advertised. and no matter how much i overall enjoyed the game, it will always have some layer of being tainted attached to it due to the false advertising. this is not the prequel we thought we’d be getting. & not using “prequel” specifically doesn’t matter when all the advertising, including the box art talks about this being the story of what happened 100 years ago. with no indication it wasn’t the story of what happened 100 years ago in the botw timeline, but a separate universe/timeline entirely. i do hope we get dlc for the game at some point giving us what we were advertised, but at the same time... rly wish that the story that’s in the final game was dlc, & the story we were promised was the original :/ or just having the game have two separate storylines originally would’ve been cool. i just wish it wasn’t falsely advertised.
fort hateno can fucking eat my whole entire shit WHY is that part so needlessly obnoxious compared to everything else oh my god
being forced to fulfill revali’s power fantasy TWICE hurt my soul
fuck any mission where you have to protect the useless hylian guards. i hate them. they suck.
the ai for player characters when you aren’t playing as them can also be pretty useless. it was really frustrating failing missions because my fellow party members weren’t helping me, and i was basically expected to be in two places at once to get shit done myself. :/ ik you can just switch between characters to make it easier, but like. i like playing as link the most. he’s my favorite character, & ofc since he’s mandatorily played for most of the story, he’s gonna be the most leveled up character regardless so he’s just the best to play as in general especially for harder missions. it was annoying to be forced to play as other people Solely cause the ai was so useless.
king rhoam’s attempt at a redemption arc. i’m not sorry that i just fucking hate this man. i don’t mind him entirely in botw bc you can see clear, genuine remorse during the cut scene at the end of the great plateau. but the redemption arc he gets in this game? after all the fucking shit he does in this game? especially when after his ~redemption arc~ i had to sit through a cut scene of him being an absolute fucking asshole to baby zelda after her mother just died????? absolutely fuck that shit. i don’t appreciate that crap at fucking all. he’s a verbally abusive piece of shit and i hate his guts.
obviously there was gonna be some retconning of how certain things worked in botw in order to make this kinda game work but the way sheikah technology works in this game is so goddamn confusing i do not get it. the works of botw are never outright said or explained completely, but it’s straightforward enough that it doesn’t really matter. this game does try to explain certain things and it just becomes. really clunky and confusing very quickly.
the story is alright, i guess, but..... really confusing/convoluted as hell at times to a point that it’s. really fucking distracting. especially in comparison to how straightforward botw’s story is. like..... cannot help but be annoyed that such a problem wouldn’t have been a thing if they stuck to botw’s story.
i was sad when the egg thing died but i dont like the egg thing.... it is the MAIN reason shit was retconned so much & i just. dont get its purpose. but i did really like the reveal that zelda made it herself. that was good shit!
also the egg glitched out like. a LOT. idk what the fuck was going on with the poor thing but there was multiple times during a cut scene or when i was just sitting there that it was freaking out in the background and it was rly weird
elemental overworld boss monsters................. obnoxious. especially elemental guardians like goddamn bro what the fuck
i know warriors’ games aren’t about exploring anyway but the limitations for exploring was really sad/frustrating. this is still somewhat the world of hyrule before the calamity, which is something we’ve always wanted to see. not being able to explore even the immediate area at certain points because of shit like timed missions was really upsetting, man. :( i just wanted to see hyrule castle Before the calamity why was did they have to rob us like that.....
creepy corrupted egg’s transformation. why. what was that. what the fuck
even though i did enjoy the boss fights, it did get. incredibly taxing eventually to have to fight the SAME bastards so many times. like yeah botw is also guilty of this with the blights, but goddamn.... at least i have a choice to avoid certain encounters with them? this game has you fighting the same bitches like upwards of 3-4 times. it was. really annoying tbh. like the fights themselves are enjoyable, but damn we added new characters and it still inevitably lacked variety in boss fights.
no playable kass >:( if he’s available later in dlc then fine but i wish he was playable in the original game. so many random choices you’d never expect are. why couldn’t he also be there >:(
overall:
it will forever have that sour taste for the false advertising attached to it unfortunately, but that aside, i overall did enjoy the game! i think it has a lot to love in spite of the issues i encountered. as someone who has this as their first warriors game as well, it did lend itself to letting me see the appeal of them. idk if i’ll get more, but i do get why they’re so beloved/popular now. it was an alright time, with some amazing highlights that i’m gonna think back on very fondly for a very, very long time. if i had to rate it..... 7/10
#hw#aoc#hw aoc#hyrule warriors#age of calamity#legend of zelda#botw#danni plays hw aoc#mine#long post#v long post sorry lol i have so many thoughts/feelings
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