#i haven't been feeling well this week
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Summary:
Alastor may be stalking Lucifer. Maybe. Lucifer's having none of that.
Notes:
That blood drinking content warning comes into play in this chapter. No gore, however.
#radioapple#alastor#lucifer morningstar#deer lucifer fic#hazbin hotel#working on part 11#i haven't been feeling well this week#i have been working on it and hope to get it out this weekend
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i cant even properly explain how it emotionally affects me when my cat comes up to me for cuddles. small creature walks up to me, a giant, in search of a gentle touch, because he trusts me completely. that is what love is. that is what the universe is built for. i want to cry
#i've been really sick for a week and haven't had the energy to play with navid for a while#and i feel like he's been so understanding about it??#like he gets it that im not well so he's not being pushy to play as he usually is when im healthy#i love him so so so much#jamble ramble#navid#my cat
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Zigzagoon and Zorua ko-fi doodle for PastelPunk!
I’m accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests here! ✨
#artists on tumblr#pokemon#zigzagoon#zorua#ko-fi doodle#gotchibam arts#thank you sm for requesting!! ;w; <3#sorry for not posting much lately @_@#haven't been feeling too well last week#no horrible period cramps this time thankfully but I did feel fatigued most of the time 😞#anyways!!#i'll try to pick up the pace soon!#will try to answer msgs & update queue soon as well#as always tysm for being patient w/ me!!
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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Done with our favorite Spider-Boy! Spiderling? Spider... What was his name again?
Avengers paper cutout 6/?
#avengers paper cutout project#art#sorry it's been FOREVER since I did a thing for this series lol#lowkey I've had this done for like... a month... maybe 2 months...?#and just didn't post it because I wasn't 100% happy with it#but well. when someone has a bad day and you want to cheer them up a little you can't be chasing perfection I guess#I also want to do more bird art soon!#just haven't been feeling creative lately due to Certain Life Events:tm:#but today was the first decent day I've had in a while where I didn't go home and then immediately fall into a doom scroll spiral on the co#the couch#stupid tag word limit#anyway yeah hopefully you'll be hearing a little more from me soonish#and by soonish i mean like another 2 weeks probably...#look even when I'm feeling decent I am SLOOOOOOW at this lmao#uhh anyway there's only natasha left out of the OG6 so she's up next#actually probably similar color scheme for peter assuming it'll be a black gun on the hourglass bg#but I kinda hate the black lol it makes the edges look so bad!#we'll see maybe I'll find a picture of her with a different looking gun and use that as an excuse#enough tag rambling I need to post this and then get ready for bed lol#hope y'all enjoy my silly little art#which i guess is kinda seasonally appropriate now??#IGNORE MY RAMBLING UP THERE THIS WAS MY SECRET PLAN ALL ALONG MHM MHM I PLANNED THIS SO WELL
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When you finally have access to things like healthcare, therapy, and medication that helps you function and have made a to-do list that includes doing taxes and calling your insurance company and somehow none of it makes you anxious at all. What the HEEEEELLLLLLLL, HOW IS THIS NORMAL????
Where are the very slow tigers that are chasing me??
I'm. I'm not excited about anything on that list but I'm not not excited???? It's just things to do, that I gotta do, and I'm gonna do them because I can? I can!!
I'm making this a good luck post. May you get one big step closer to healing/recovering/getting the proper treatment and diagnoses for whatever is ailing you. Whether that's mental illness, chronic illness, disability, or simply a hardship you have to endure, may good things be on their way to you swiftly ❤️💕
#mental health#chronic illness#disability#positivity#happiness#wellness#good luck#good luck post#but really it hasn't even been a full 2 weeks and i feel like i can just DO the thing#and i haven't even TOUCHED on getting a diagnosis for adhd and barely brought up autism#i know this won't stay exactly the same forever but this feels good and i can't wait to see how well i do with real treatment
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#been dying for quality spy x fam content for weeks and endo Never disappoints T‿T#the whole chapter was so cute 😭#and it's so sweet that mr. henderson's elegance all started because of her :')#and i didn't expect martha to be the one who had feelings for the the other.#i thought it was gonna be henderson and that they had their little romance going well until war happened or time & distance separated them#well it was sad that martha's love was unrequited and that last chapter :(#i wonder if the two of them still think about what happened :') hopefully it'll be becky to nudge them both to at least get closure#if they haven't already that is#i love the chapter very much. hoping to see more of martha and Henderson soon 😩#spy x family spoilers#spy x family#sxf#spy x family chapter 97#sxf 97
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I'm so normal about Him
#Trigun#Trigun Stampede#vash the stampede#hand farts#this took me 3 goddamn hours and made my chronic arm pain so much worse but I HAD TO I LOVE HIM!!#I literally haven't been able to hold a pen for more than 5-10min w/o significant pain for like... 5+ years now. I can't draw anymore reall#this is the first full drawing I've done in well over a year at least#but I've had this picture in my head for weeks and finally had to get it out!! shitty arms be damned!!#sorry for the inaccuracies for his prosthetic arm and bracelet thing. i simply couldn't handle adding more details if I wanted to finish it#all of the hearts are freehanded btw! i just like doing space fillers#this has been a post#i couldn't figure out how to do his crossed fingers in this simpler style either so feel free to stone me or w/e#tristamp
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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hello everyone, hope you are doing alright! i'm doing this post to say that i won't be online for some time... i think my depression has come back and since this sunday my health hasn't been good.. i've been feeling very down, always with emotional crisis, crying and with no energy to do anything.. so i will be on semi-hiatus for a some time. only coming to queue some stuff.. i'm so sorry for being so absent guys.. wish you the best! thank you!
#personal#tw depression#i'm not feeling too good#sorry...#i just want to curl up on bed and do absolutely nothing#just want to disappear TT ~ TT#i even told my boss to hold up on illustrations a bit...#i haven't got inpiration..#i have been feeling down lately#but this week it's been worse and difficult for me#sorry for anything guys!#stay well and safe
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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this blog has been drier than the fucking sahara desert im sorry y'all 😭 i'll post a sunday and/or fyodor fic soon enough, i promise 🫶🏽
#𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒... ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁#i haven't been writing at all this past week#ive got so many asks to answer as well omfg#truth be told i actually have the time but 😭#im fucking binge reading berserk#its so good#and guts is fucking hot dude#i'll just take my time with this blog for now i guess#because writing feels like a chore for me rn#please bear with me
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#fan art#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#erwin smith#levi ackerman#binged snk start-finish for the first time this week#it was good#i liked it#snk#aot#my favourite is armin but i haven't been able to draw him well so i'm just posting these two#slightly yassified levi by accident... oh well#tumblr is gonna destroy the quality i can feel it in my bones
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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Having lots of hobbies is great! No matter how much you achieve in a day, you will always also have the Guilt of 'I should be doing Other Hobby' gnawing at your insides. :)
#I fixed the bike#went for a 30mile ride#washed my car for the first time in like 18 months lol#played some bg3 after 8 weeks no play because sick#tended my darling plant children#but i haven't touched my models and resin in 8 weeks#nor written much and now I'm like -_-#i also still have mod things to do for bg3 and I want to send off a test stl for friend to try printing of Zevlor#maybe I'm feeling guilty because I worked hard to stop with the bad habits but then it all slipped while I was sick#and now I'm on tumblr rambling in the tags to avoid having a shower#dios mio! i am known#text tag#the bike is running a LOT nicer than it used to now#it's on 2600 miles now and since the winter break it's been noticably better in 5th gear#when it was new you might as well just not touch 5th. it was utterly useless#now it seems to have finally settled tho that seems a little late#I really need to clean up the bike lube it and touch up the rust where powdercoating has crumbled#absolute pile of crap but it teaches you how to deal with shit tahts' for sure lol
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Sometimes self care is having a very stern talking to with the wounded scared parts of yourself that don't want to do the hard and difficult things and reminding them that nothing will get better if the hard and difficult things aren't even attempted
And then as a reward you promise to buy those wounded parts of yourself an entirely hot pink/pastel pink practice set if they agree to do the work required, as a little treat
#my doctor hasnt cleared me for the pitch yet so I haven't been practicing or playing yet this season and it sucks#i went to nola to support the team and did so! but i still felt out of place and forgotten about because i wasnt playing#i was rooming with players and the majority of them were very self involved (semi derogatory) which i wouldn't fault them for#if it hadnt been so deeply exhausting and so constant even after the tourney. but it is what it is i was there for them#im just tired of always feeling like the forgotten 'oh right and the other james' and feeling unwanted which isnt true#i have a place with the ferals even with my illness its my wounded ego causing issue. just cause the rfc coach was passively a dick#doesnt mean i need to pass up a wonderful opportunity for play time and friendship. ill have a chance to play with the guys#in time and ill have time to socialize with them as well in time#but i shouldn't squander an opportunity just because im wounded and bitter because of old traumas#besides more time to get fundamentals ironed out#so im ignoring my doctor somewhat and km gonna start practicing this week#lightly. just light stuff you know. cardio and working with the ball maybe since i shouldn't be on the heavy bag yet#and then next week ill buy my practice set and customize it as a Bribe to myself
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