#i haven’t used this blog in forever damn

[twinstxrs]

severance s2 finale spoilers but the ending scene is making me crazy from an innie mark outie gemma perspective. mark probably thinks gemma already knows he’s severed and wants him to choose her anyways & gemma probably thinks the mark walking away from her is the one who was just kissing her. innie mark thinks she’s just another outie demanding his life for herself. gemma thinks her husband really did move on after all. i’m sick to my stomach oh my god.

[judesmoonbeauty]

𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕁𝕒𝕫𝕫𝕒'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟞 + 𝕃𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣

This is a fan translation only. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.

Jude: Haven’t forgotten yer promise, have ya?

The muttered words spilled from his lips with a thin smile, and my skin burned hot.

Kate: If anything happens, I’ll call your name, right?

Jude: Not that. The one ya brought up.

(Oh…..)

[Flashback]

Kate: Jude…..I promise you.

Kate: I will never die before you.

[Flashback]

—It was a heartfelt promise I made to Jude.

Kate: I definitely won’t die.

Kate: If I break my promise, you can come after me in hell and get revenge.

Looking straight into Jude’s eyes, I tell him my honest feelings.

Jude: Kinda damned masochist are ya, wantin’ to be tortured after ya die. Are ya some perv with weird tastes?

Kate: I’m not a masochist or a pervert with weird tastes, but a woman who doesn’t break her promises.

Lit. a woman/man who doesn’t have two words. This is an old proverb Kate is using.

Jude: Don’t want yer naive hogwash ‘bout bein’ in love. But…..

Jude: Yer bein’ gutsy, ain’t so bad after all.

Kate: ……..

The words he spoke so bluntly were also exuding something very similar to kindness.

(Even though he pushes me away, he still worries about my life.)

That's the kind of person Jude is.

(I had no idea what he was thinking before, but...)

Now, I have come to understand so much more about the heart that hides behind his cruel and ruthless behavior.

(So much so, that I find it endearing….)

My heart tightens as I think of Jude.

Kate: Jude.

Jude: What?

(What I’m about to say, will likely torment him again.)

(However—)

Kate: You said that love’s a curse, right?

Kate: So, what I'm about to tell you, may become a curse to you.

Kate: It might just end up being something that torments you.

—Curses and love are one in the same.

Everything in this life is like a thorn pricking and causing him pain.

Kate: I understand that—

Jude: If ya get it th—

Kate: But still…

Interrupting him, I grabbed Jude by his hand to keep him connected.

Kate: I don’t want you to give up either.

Kate: I want you to keep shouting at the moon forever.

My voice trembles with my selfish thoughts.

(Here it goes….)

Kate: Even if it pains you.

Jude: ………..

As I stared at him with unwavering determination, Jude's gaze took on a sharp sword-like glint.

Jude: D’ya even know what yer sayin’?

Kate: Of course I do.

Kate: I love you.

Kate: …..Because really, all I can think of is you.

I can confidently say that the thing that shines brightest in my heart, is my feelings for Jude.

(I will do whatever it takes to keep you in this world.)

Jude: …..Are ya daft?

Kate: I don’t care if I’m daft or not. So, just…..

Ellis’ Voice: Jude, Kate.

(Oh….)

Jude: ……Yeah, comin’.

Jude takes his hand off the wall, and shakes my hand away.

The figure that had covered the moonlight disappeared, and feeling heartbroken and lost, I quietly grasp my hands.

The specified meeting place was the laboratory.

Stepping into the dark room with Jude and Ellis, a hand stops me abruptly—

Kate: ……!

I restrained my voice that tried to rise.

All I could see was a blood soaked man sitting in a chair.

Ellis moved closer and gently touched his neck.

Ellis: …..There’s no pulse.

Jude: It’s that git……

Kate: Do you recognize him?

Jude: He’s the crime exec I’m s’pposed to meet today.

(What—)

Ellis: Someone killed the man you were supposed to meet up with?

Jude: …..Tch, s’that’s their play.

At that moment, the sound of multiple footsteps was heard from behind.

???: Don’t move, hands in the air….!

We were immediately surrounded by armed men.

The man at the front — with his shining, blond slicked-back hair, and muscular physique, stepped forward before us.

Then with his hands clasped behind his back, he spoke loudly.

Senior Officer Gilbert: We are the British Army. I am Senior British Army officer, Gilbert Murphy.

He is likely a general or a field officer during this time period, but I chose to title him Senior Officer since it's not specified.

Senior Officer Gilbert: You are charged of conspiring with a criminal organization to develop and smuggle missiles.

Senior Officer Gilbert: Jude Jazza, member of Her Majesty the Queen’s private army, Crown, you are hereby under arrest.

Jude: ………..

The military officer lifts his chin slightly, and several soldiers detain Jude.

(Jude!)

As I was about to run over, Jude's sharp gaze stopped me.

Jude: ………

Then he silently mouthed with his lips, “keep quiet.”

Ellis: Jude.

Jude: Ellis, don’t do nothin’.

Jude then stops Ellis, who is about to use his cursed ability.

Allowing himself to be tied up, as Ellis and I watch helplessly.

Kate: Why the British Army?!

Ellis: …..He was probably set-up.

Ellis spoke in a hushed voice.

(A setup…..?)

We were acting on the basis that the crime group was working with the British Army.

However, the British officer named Gilbert, said that it’s Jude and the criminal group who are conspiring to commit crimes.

Additionally, there’s the executive of the syndicate dying in front of us.

(And there’s something else that bothers me.)

The existence of Crown is a top secret that only a few people know about.

And yet, this British military officer just mentioned Crown.

(So, besides the syndicate and the British Army, a third party is call the shots?)

My heart makes a terrible sound.

(……Calm down. Think, who definitely knows of Crown’s existence?)

Her Majesty, Crown, me, as the Fairytale Keeper, and—

What came to me was a memory from when I had just become the fairytale keeper.

[Flashback]

Kate: Victor, who are the Privy Council?

I was being shown some of the reports that had been written by Crown members up to that date.

I found an account that caught my attention and asked Victor about it….

Victor: The official name is 'Her Majesty's Most Honorable Privy Council.'

Victor: Well, in short, they’re the higher-ups of the court, who have the privilege to give advice to Her Majesty.

Kate: They’re aware of Crown’s existence…..Does that mean they’re allies of Crown?

That’s when Victor made a complicated expression.

Victor: In a sense, we are essentially in a cooperative relationship, as we both serve Her Majesty.

Victor: However, the Privy Council is not pleased with the Crown. Kate, you should be wary of them.

[Flashback Ends]

(Seriously—)

Just as I held my breath, I heard footsteps...

Privy Councilman: You’ve captured Jude Jazza……Haha, well done!

A man in a suit appeared before us.

Ellis: That badge on his chest...it's the Privy Council’s.

(That man’s from the Privy Council......)

Jude: The hell’s a big wig from the palace doin’ in a place like this?

Privy Councilman: I discovered a certain fact related to your research.

Privy Councilman: That you Crown people are going to start a war against Britain’s allies.

Jude: …………

Privy Councilman: And then you’ll sell them the weapons that you’ve researched and developed yourself…..isn’t it an outrageous ploy?

Privy Councilman: It’s a most despicable act of treason, not only against Her Majesty the Queen, but against the British people here in England.

Although it was a brief, I have spent a lot of time with Crown on a daily basis, so it didn’t take me long to grasp the situation.

(The criminal group and Britain did make contact.)

In that sense, Nica’s information wasn’t wrong.

However, the contact wasn’t for the purpose of working together.

(It was to frame Jude.)

This whole scheme was planned and orchestrated by the Privy Council.

All so the Privy Council can destroy the Crown—

Jude's research is the perfect bomb to expose Crown as an evil entity and crush it on its head, by winning over public sentiment.

The moment that thought occurred to me.…..my hands started shaking with frustration.

(I can’t believe the desire to fulfill his promise to his sister is being treated like this….)

(What should I do?)

(What can I do in this situation….)

Senior Officer Gilbert: What about this other man? I see that he's on the Crown register.

Privy Councilman: Speak to him as a suspect. However, don’t use violence or do anything that could put us at a disadvantage.

Privy Councilman: Jude Jazza fell into my hands.

Privy Councilman: Crown will soon be forced to dismantle any way.

Privy Councilman: Ohhh……it’s repulsive that these wicked deviants serve Her Majesty!

(…...Just like I thought. The Pricy Council wants to dissolve Crown.)

(I have to do something.)

However, one wrong move and it could lead to Crown’s demise.

As I frantically racked my brains trying to think of a way to resolve this situation...

Senior Officer Gilbert: Who is this girl?

An intimidating gaze was directed at me—

A Note Scribbled Next to A Document

…..Kate likes me. Whadda rotten joke. Ain’t her fault that she feels that way. It’s my fault fer thinkin’ there was nothin’ wrong with lettin’ her in. I was complicit, just as guilty — After this, I'm goin' to hell. Doesn’t suit a carefree princess at all. …..Ain’t the least bit funny. 𝒥𝓊𝒹ℯ 𝒥𝒶𝓏𝓏𝒶

[Main Story Master List] [Chapter 17]

Tag list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @injudescoat @aeyumicore @complexivelovely @yuoi-the-magnificent @husbandosandladders @nawlink @justgiulia @vickietickie @greedyqueensfavourite @sharigax @belphiesleftpinkytoe @reimy1164 @barellorkilaam @cosmowgyral @lunaaka @rosalyne08 @8the-perfect-lie8 @voydsoul @goustmilk @kraiyne @midnightsrunaway

T/L Note: For the line in the letter, "I was complicit, just as guilty — After this, I'm going' to hell." This line does not include any personal pronouns and/or possessive particles. It literally translates like this: "Complicit/Accomplice, equal guilt.....-after this, going to hell". So, I am assuming based on context that Jude is referring to himself. However, Jude could also be referring Kate and her outcome due to loving him.

If you wish to be added (and 18+ YO), or removed from my translations tag list, please let me know!

[sleepingdeath-light]

affectionate male s/o hcs ; angel dust

requested by ; 💍 anon (14/02/24)

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; angel dust

outline ; “hey, I just saw an update from your blog and was wondering if I could make a request ?!

Angel dust With a male reader boyfriend who is always by his side, and the two of them are always lovey dovey.

You and I definitely know the trauma that Angel Dust has experienced all this time, and I want Angel Dust to be able to share his trauma with his boyfriend so it's not just him.

Thanks in advance 🫂

💍-anon”

note ; this might be a bit shaky in terms of his characterisation because i haven’t written for angel dust in a while, but hopefully it isn’t too noticeable

warning(s) ; references to angel’s canon traumas, but mostly fluff!

you are, to put it bluntly, the only real bright spot in the dark spiral of pain, abuse, and addiction that has defined the vast majority of angel’s life in hell — and that makes him all the more intensely protective over you

he never breathes so much as a word of your relationship around val or his colleagues and refuses to let you go anywhere near the areas of hell dominated by the vees — and up until a few weeks before the battle with adam, he refused to meet up with you at the hotel and would insist on meeting at another neutral location because he was just so damn scared of you two being seen together and somebody (be that his boss, some weird stalker fan, or someone else) deciding to use you to further hurt him

(or even just to hurt you for the sake of it — you are in hell, after all, and the people he’s associated with over the decades aren’t exactly the nicest lot)

all of that being said, when the two of you are together and around the small group of people that angel trusts, he’s more than happy to show off his ‘cute’ little boyfriend and smother you in as much affection as you give him (and even more when he’s in the mood for it)

he’s forever touching you when you’re together: holding one of your hands in his own, wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you against his side, hugging you from behind and resting his head atop yours when you’re talking to someone, nuzzling his face against your cheek or the crook of your neck, playing with your fur/fluff/hair/wings/tail when you’re sat side by side at the bar, interlocking elbows when you’re walking together, kissing you on the cheek/nose/temple whenever he feels like it, laying down with his face buried in your chest/stomach after a long day (or letting you bury your face in his fluff if you’ve had a rough go of it), and even just outright picking you up and carrying you around whenever he’s bored and wants to go hangout in his room with just you and fat nuggets

and, of course, there are a few acts that you can do that never fail to make his day that bit brighter — namely running your hands through his hair when he’s laying on your lap/stomach/chest, and reaching out to grab one of his hands and stroke reassuring circles onto the back of it whenever he seems nervous for whatever reason

(really any genuine display of innocent affection makes his heart melt, but it’s those two that have the best chance of making his performative mask drop and having a real smile slip through onto his face)

truly the list of affectionate displays, both public and private, is endless and angel dust can’t get enough — you’re the one that introduced him to this whole ‘innocent touching between boyfriends’ thing, sure, but around nine times out of ten he’s the one that initiates it because he just can’t help but want to be close to you all of the time

he gets incredibly pouty and jealous whenever you show affection to other people, even though he’s fully aware that that’s just who you are and it doesn’t mean anything to you — this can be very easily remedied by spoiling him with love, affection, and gifts when you realise what’s happened, but in the moment in can get a tad awkward because of how over the top flirtatious and possessive angel’s language and behaviour gets (like by the time you’ve caught on and dragged him away to talk it over, the other party is left with less than no doubt about the fact that you’re very happily taken and your boyfriend does not like to share)

having someone waiting for him to get home, the promise of affection without expectation and an evening of proper actual aftercare, is what keeps him from spiralling as badly as he used to — you give him that extra bit of motivation that he needs to stay on the straight and narrow (or as close as he can given his contract) and not fall back on those bad habits again

because he doesn’t need to ruin himself or drown his emotions in sex and drink and drugs or any of the other shit he used to do when he has you — because he wants to be someone you’re proud of, that you’re proud to be with, and that you can rely on for comfort and support as much as he can rely on you for those things

he wants to be the best person he can be for you and, in the process, he starts to believe more and more in the whole ‘hazbin hotel’ project that charlie started

you and cherry are the only ones that really get to see the real angel dust on a consistent basis — and you’re the only one who gets to know, and address him by, his real name when you’re alone because he trusts you so much and because it feels much more intimate and ‘real’ to be called that by his boyfriend rather than the stage name that everyone knows him by

because the two of you are basically attached at the hip when you’re together, angel ends up missing you very intensely when you’re apart for whatever reason — this means that he’s texting you whenever he gets a spare moment to do so throughout the day (he gets very good at hiding his phone at the studio as a result of this habit because, no matter how much he may try, he just can’t resist sending you a quick text or selfie between shoots)

he and cherry are out at the bar having some fun? he’s texting you between shots telling you about how much you’d love this place and how you should totally go there for your next date

charlie and vaggie are being all lovey-dovey in the hotel lobey? he’s sending you a picture with a super cheesy caption about how that should be you but since you were too busy you’re gonna have to miss out

he’s been given a super cute outfit to wear for a movie or his makeup looks especially good? he’s texting you a selfie in his changing room and making a million excuses to his boss just so he can see the compliment you send him before he has to lock and hide away his phone so he can go back to the shoot

you had to leave early and he has the day off? he’s sending you a sad selfie of him and fat nuggets talking about how much they both miss you and insisting you hurry up and either finish your errands quickly or skive off of work to come back to bed

and the list goes on… he’s really clingy but you can’t say you mind given your affectionate inclination

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

☾ ━━━ CONTENT: MENTION OF FOOD, DRINKING, UNESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, CURSING, ORAL [ M. REC], PUBLIC SETTING, IMPLIED MORE ☾ ━━━ WC: 1.4K ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ☾ ━━━ a repost from my old blog

     Y/n was not a morning person, at all. She hated waking up early in the morning. Thankful for her later shifts at the shop. She rubbed her eyes and looked around her room. No physical sign of Changbin but she heard some noise in her kitchen. She grabbed his shirt from last night, throwing it on before heading out of the room.

     Changbin saw her come around the corner and offered her a smile. “Hope you don’t mind I took over your kitchen.”

     “‘S fine. More surprised you’re still here,” Y/n said as she hopped onto her counter.

     “Why wouldn’t I?”

     “Not a lot of guys do in my experience.” Y/n shrugged and he walked over and stood between her legs

     “You just hook up with dicks that can’t get you off,” He said, wrapping his arms around her waist, “Plus it would make things awkward at work I think.”

     “True. Might be a bit awkward that I’ve fucked the boss,” Y/n sighed

     “No one’s going to care. Our last receptionist was sleeping with an artist that left and none of us batted an eye.” Changbin shrugged

     “What happened with them?”

     “He went to a different shop closer to his home and she got her dream job. Don’t think they’re still together though.”

     “Huh, good for them.” Y/n smiled.

     Changbin went back to cooking them breakfast as Y/n made them some coffee. The two sat and ate before Changbin got dressed and left. Y/n reluctantly gave him his shirt back so he could leave. But he promised to text her later and he’d see her at the shop. Y/n saw him off and cleaned up her apartment. Having some chores and errands to get done while she had time off.

     Changbin did make good on his promise of texting her later. Just a casual check-up to see how she was doing and remind her to eat turned into random conversations. Genuinely getting to know each other. Y/n sat down on her couch, smiling at her phone before one of her girlfriends texted her, asking if she wanted to have a movie night. Y/n couldn’t say no to that and took a quick shower put on some pajamas and headed to her friend’s place.

     “Hey,” the girl greeted her friend

     “Hey,” Y/n smiled

     The two sat on the couch with food and drinks and tried to find something to watch. Finally deciding on something after what seemed like forever, Y/n looked at her phone. 

     “Don’t tell me fuck face texted you,” Her friend sighed

     “No, I told him to fuck off. Someone else,” Y/n said as she picked up her phone to answer the text.

     “Thank god. Who’s the new guy?” She asked as the movie started

     “It’s my boss,” Y/n said

     “So not a new hook-up?”

     “We went out last night and then slept together.”

     “You fucked your boss?!”

     “Yes, and it was good.”

     “Did you cum?”

     “Twice.”

     “Damn, he got friends?”

     “Probably, haven’t seen them,” Y/n shrugged, “But he even cleaned up and stayed the night, plus cooked me breakfast this morning.”

     “I know you aren’t looking for a relationship and you’re just looking for casual, but you better at least be loyal to his dick.”

     “We’ll see. We do work together so we at least see each other.”

     Y/n, let him know that she was hanging out with a friend and she’d text him later. Changbin told her to have fun and text him if she needed anything. Y/n smiled as she focused on the movie with her friend. She didn’t think much of her conversation with her friend, even when she went to work with Changbin a couple of days later. Maybe it was because they had been texting since the morning after but everything was normal. 

     Y/n sat at her desk, joking with the other artists who worked more in the open and not in rooms like Changbin. Everyone waiting around for their clients, some taking off early because of cancellations or lack of appointments. Usual things in their industry. 

     Changbin finished with his last client just before closing. Everyone else was cleaning up and walking out for the night as Y/n checked them out. She checked the time after they left and saw there were still a few minutes till the shop officially closed. She based the time doing the smaller front-end tasks before turning the open sign off and locking the door.

     Changbin walked out of his room and sat down in the other chair behind the desk.

     “You don’t have to wait for me,” Y/n told him as she moved to close the register.

     “You wait for me when I’m running behind. Plus it’s late. You know I’m not letting you walk to your car in the dark,” Changbin told her.

     “Fair,” Y/n shrugged, “You’re in the way of the safe though.”

     “Make it work,” he teased.

     Y/n rolled her eyes at him and double-checked her money count before taking the tray and turning to Changbin. She gently pushed the rolley chair out of the way and opened the safe. She put the tray and worked on the deposit before putting that in there too. She made sure everything was locked up before moving to grab her things. Just for Changbin to grab her wrist and pull her onto his lap.

     “Hey,” she smiled

     “Hey,” he smiled back as she adjusted to straddle him. 

     They didn’t have a title to define themselves. They had talked about it but neither of them was looking for anything serious at the moment. Just not having time for a serious relationship, they decided to hook up since they both enjoyed the other night.

     “You look good taking care of my shop,” Changbin said and rubbed her sides.

     “That’s why you insisted on staying with me?” She asked

     “Partially.”

     Y/n licked her lips before pressing her lips onto his. Changbin returned the vigor of the kiss as his hands grabbed her ass and pulled her against him more. Y/n rolled her hips into his making him moan into the kiss. “I don’t have any condoms, baby,” Changbin panted between kisses

     “Little oral never hurt anyone,” Y/n replied

     She got off his lap and sunk to her knees between him. Changbin helped her unbutton his jeans and pull his cock out. Y/n smiled, wrapping her hand around him and slowly pumping him till he was fully hard. 

     Changbin rested back against the chair as her lips kissed up and down his length. Those pretty lips wrapping around his cock. Moaning as she took him further in his mouth. Moving up and down, dick wet with her spit. 

     The tattoo artist looked down at her, gently grabbing the back of her head—more for his comfort. Grabbing at the roots of her hair as she swallowed him. She took him down her throat while her hand moved to massage his balls. 

     “Fuck,” Changbin groaned, tilting his head back.

     The shop was damn near silent except for the noise of her blowing him. He grabbed the back of her head as she took him into her throat. His jaw dropped open before she pulled off and pumped him with his hand. 

     “Can you do that again?” Changbin asked as he looked down at her

     “Like me deepthroating you?” Y/n smiled at him

     “Fuck yeah.”

     Y/n smiled wrapped her lips around him and repeated her actions. She was bobbing her head up and down on him while massaging his balls.

     “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Changbin moaned as his grip on her hair tightened then she swallowed him again and he was a goner. 

     Hips bucking up into her mouth as his cum flooded her mouth. Y/n moaned around him and looked up at him through her eyelashes. Letting him ride out his orgasm till his cum stopped flooding her mouth. Pulling off when she was sure he was done and his grip loosened on her hair.

     Y/n sat back on her heels and swallowed his load. “Feel better?” Y/n asked, grabbing his thighs to help herself up off the ground.

     “Yeah,” Changbin sighed as he grabbed a tissue to clean up his dick and stuff himself back in his pants.

     Changbin got up and kissed her lips again, “Come back to mine and let me return the favor?” He suggested as he wrapped an arm around her.

     “Mhm, you got a condom at yours?” Y/n asked

     “Yeah.”

     Y/n smiled, “Let’s go.”

     The two grabbed their bags and headed out to their cars and Y/n followed Changbin back to his place. Both were eager a little bit to have a repeat of the other night.

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© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[muniimyg]

+ extra ! in our forever

series m.list

note: omg hiii ??? helloo ??? okok this was supposed to be posted for yoongi’s birthday... then i planned it to be written in time for my birthday/bts birthday... now it’s being posted mid summer.... like hello? where did the time go? i felt so stuck writing this extra because it feels more like the ending than the actual ending ? does that make sense lol... i planned to write their first kiss scene but honestly i don’t think i’ll be able to do so [unless i get the random urge to write it instead of studying for a final or smt] ! hoping to back more regularly when my work schedule stops being a bitch <3 slowly but surely,, my fics will continue to be deleted off my notes/drafts and pushed out frfr. thank u all of ur patience ,, i TRULY miss u all... laughing with u guys after every update literally gave me a reason to wake up and have smt to look forward to. i look forward to all of ur love and support for my upcoming / ongoing works. 

muwah muwah ,, kimi 💛✨🥂

ps… it’s lengthy y’all 💀 it’s to make up for being so mia HAHHAAA

warnings: smut & angst ,, MY FAVE DUO <3

taglist requests are closed !

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In the midst of the airport chaos, Yoongi finds you standing with a stupid sign that looks like it was decorated by your preschool students. 

It’s times like these when he can’t help but smile at how insufferable you are. Why are you so fucking cute? Standing there, looking for him in the sea of strangers with your warm greeting. It’s a sight he wishes to last forever. It makes his stomach turn knowing that it’s him you’re waiting for. It’s him you’re here for. 

It’s him. 

As usual, Yoongi finds you first and continues to let you look for him. He waits for your eyes to find his before he picks up his feet and makes his way to you. You smile, unable to hold yourself back from making your way to him as well. 

As you do so, Yoongi gets a closer and closer look at the sign. At that moment, his heart skips a beat, realizing that your preschool class knows about him.

The boyfriend. 

It’s such a simple label. It even sounds silly to say and even so; he never gets used to how it makes him feel. How excited he is to be yours and how others react to it... Something about little children running around the classroom, knowing their teacher ____ is loved and has a boyfriend makes him so happy. 

God, it’s so fucking embarrassing and it honestly doesn’t even matter... But why... Why was it consuming his mind so effortlessly? 

Though these thoughts and daydreams are so easily executed in his mind; being your boyfriend—the mere title of it—has him in shambles. He will never get used to this privilege. So, it’s only natural that he wonders if you talk about him to them just as much. He wonders if they’ve asked you any silly questions like... If you two have ever kissed or if you two were ever going to get married.. Better yet; if you have any babies with him...

All valid questions 3 year old's could ask you! Even more valid questions for your boyfriend to ponder. 

You talk about your students so much. Like, it’s a little ridiculous! You talk about them as if they’re yours. With that, the idea of having a family with you is prone to linger in his mind. However, that’s way down the line..

He’d have to propose to you first; marry you second, and then have children with you. All the while, loving you forever. 

These thoughts, though dramatic and honestly a little extensive—consume him. It’s a little strange and overwhelming considering that you two haven’t been together for that long. Not to mention, he had just left for nearly and month. 

Yet, isn’t that how you two bloomed anyway? Testing and proving that absence does make the heart grow fonder. 

He gulps as he watches you rush to him. You squeal as he picks up his speed and meets you halfway. There, you practically fall into his arms. 

Nothing is better than this. 

Yoongi has only been away for three weeks, but it feels like it’s been forever. You’re so used to having him by your side and these past three weeks just felt like torture. All the texts and photo updates were simply not enough. If anything, they made missing him even worse. 

But that’s all over now.

Now, he’s here. He’s kissing your cheeks and holding you close. He doesn’t think he’ll ever let go.. Why should he? 

“I missed you,” Yoongi confesses in a rather whiney matter. It’s as if he wasn’t the one that left for a trip.. You clearly remember asking him if he really had to go. Then, he pouts with eyebrows knitting together. You tilt your head in response. “Ace...” 

You snicker at his whine.

“What?”

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“Hahahaa! Yoongi, you just arrived—”

His lips crash into yours, kissing you so profoundly that your back arches and melts into his touch. Everyone is probably looking at you two—ever so the dramatic couple.

Oh, whatever.

You missed him too.

The boys are all patiently waiting for Yoongi back in his apartment. 

As you unlock the door, Yoongi drags his luggage in. Immediately, he’s greeted with a wave of affectionate yells and shoves. His friends, ever so the gentlemen, push him around so much until they all end up on the floor. Laughing together, you watch them help each other up. 

“We’re grown men. Stop embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend,” Yoongi reprimands his friends as he dusts himself off. The guys roll their eyes in response and you even scoff. 

“She was late to a game and you cried about it—”

Yoongi corrects his friend with a technicality. “I almost cried.”

“Same shit!” Jungkook laughs at Yoongi’s sad attempt to save face. He then wraps his arms around Yoongi and looks up at him with bambi eyes. “You know.. I’m really glad you’re back.”

“Why?”

“Because I was promised cotton candy if I showed up to your welcome home dinner... So where the fuck is it? Give it to me. Now.”

The boys exchange looks with one another. “Jungkook, we actually don’t have any cotton candy tonight... But, don’t you want to be here and spend time with us—”

“Fucking liars!” Jungkook flips everyone off before pushing Yoongi aside and exiting his apartment. 

Everyone stands there for a moment, unsure of what just happened.

“Did he really just leave?” Taehyung bursts into laughter. 

Before you know it, everyone joins in. Laughing together because Jungkook is so unhinged... Also because you all know Jungkook would be back in (give or take) 20 minutes.

Why?

It’s not like he has other friends that would put up with his dramatic ass. 

As expected, Yoongi kicks everyone out. 

They all hurry out, leaving a bit of a mess behind. You shake your head as you collect all the dishes and bring them to the sink. Soaking the dirty dishes, you scrape off any extras and set them aside. Meanwhile, Yoongi is in charge of sweeping, mopping, and putting anything Jin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook played with away. 

“How the fuck did Nam Joon manage to leave his sock here?” 

“His what?”

“Sock. He left one.”

You throw your head back, laughing and recalling how chaotic tonight was.

“He didn’t even drink that much tonight... I think you drank more than him,” you comment, turning to face Yoongi. He pauses on wiping the table and rolls his eyes at you. 

“Nam Joon is lightweight.”

“Yeah?” you challenge him, “what are you?”

“Wanna find out?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Let’s see how sloppy I fuck you tonight.”

You send him a glare, trying your best to mask your amusement. How could he be so unhinged? “Min Yoongi!”

“Yes, Ace?”

“Behave!” 

He shrugs at you. “I’ve been behaving.. Don’t believe me? Punish me tonight.”

You gag at his line. He laughs a bit as you make a cringe face at him. “Is that why you wanted me to sleep over?”

“No,” Yoongi slurs. You raise your eyebrows, eyes softening, with a small grin. Yoongi folds; “... okay, fine.”

You chuckle.

“Shut up!” He defends himself.

“I didn’t say anything!” With that, you burst into laughter. 

To put into perspective, the idea of sleeping over occurred after a very mature and communicative compromise. The compromise was that Yoongi had won 2 of 3 in an intense rock, paper, scissors game and you (have to because you lost) decided to spend the next week in his apartment. This would be a great time to reconnect and catch up on his trip. Regardless if he called and texted you every day during it; it’s different seeing his face light up as he relives his stories. You love listening to him talk about the things he loves—oddly enough, you’re all he can talk about these days.

Nevertheless, Yoongi tells you about how great his trip with his brother was. Seeing a bunch of NBA games in real life made him feel like he was doing something for his inner child. He talks about how much his brother bickered with him and how their taste in food was exactly the same so every time they went to restaurants; they would argue about who should get the other dish instead of both of them ordering the same meals.

You’re glad he’s back. 

Having your friends over tonight was such a good reset and time together. Now, the night concludes with cleaning with the love of your life. Could the simple things in life get any better than this?

Your thoughts are put on pause as you feel Yoongi’s arms wrap around your waist. As you continue to rinse the dishes, he rests his chin on the crook of your neck. 

“___,” he murmurs into your skin. You put the last dish on the dishrack before turning your body to be face to face with him. Tilting your head at him, a little confused with the underlying look of seriousness on his face. “Do your preschoolers ever ask about me?”

“Hmm?” you hum, unsure of what he means. “What about you?”

Yoongi purses his lips. “Like.. Do they know I’m your boyfriend? Who they’re making a sign for and shit?”

“Well, to be honest… We’re not really allowed to be talking about our personal life—”

“Bullshit.”

“Language,” you warn him. 

He kisses you in apology. 

“My bad,” he pouts. “Come on, ___. You’ve talked about me to them, haven’t you?”

You laugh, not quite understanding why he’s suddenly getting so heated about this. Sure, you’ve mentioned him once or twice.. How could you not? You’ve been in love with Yoongi for so long; it’s practically second nature to you. “Why do you care so much?”

Yoongi huffs, letting go of you. In a stiff manner, he shrugs. “I mean… The sign was made by them, right? They must know about me.”

“Umm, sure,” you roll your eyes. It’s not like this was turning into an argument or anything… But it’s just such an odd direction for the conversation to be going. “Aki, they’re a bunch of 3-year-olds. What does it matter if they know about you or not? I just asked them to help me make a sign because I was running out of time—”

“Do they ever ask you about marrying me?”

Your eyes widen. 

“What? No!”

Yoongi blinks. 

“Do you not want to marry me?” Yoongi crosses his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. His chest tightens as he begins to feel offended. “Why’d you answer like that?”

“Like what?” you slightly panic. 

All his words are so new to you. He’s never been this straightforward… Or has he? Have you simply missed how seamless and blunt his words have been because you’ve been so into him? Suddenly, you can’t think straight. Now, you’re really confused. 

Was he getting angry?

Was he hurt?

From what? What did you say that’s triggering his reaction? You try to run it back, but it’s too late. Yoongi takes a step back and asks; “do you not want to marry me?”

You’re tongue-tied, unable to answer him. 

He scoffs. “You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Woah,” you instantly feel offended. “You can’t just bring up marrying me and then call me annoying for needing time to process what you just asked me!”

“Why do you need time to answer it? It’s yes or no. Do you want to marry me or not?”

You glare at him. “Are you proposing?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t need to answer right now… And honestly? You could tone down the intense attitude. We haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks… Why can’t we just have a nice evening together?”

Yoongi sighs, slightly feeling more flustered. He takes a deep breath and surrenders to the feeling of hurt. 

“I think I’m gonna crash at Hobi’s tonight.”

“What?” you groan in disbelief. Is he actually serious? “Yoongi, this is your apartment. You won that stupid rock, paper, scissors game and I’m here. I had to switch my shift for tomorrow to be here with you and now what? You’re just going to leave me here?”

… And before Yoongi can think of a proper response to deflate or change the course this moment; he lets his sharp words cut through his lips. “Well, pardon me for not being in the mood to spend the rest of my evening with someone who I thought saw a future with me… Kind of a mood killer, you know? When your girlfriend is practically dating you to break up.” 

“I never said—”

“Drop it, ___. It’s whatever.”

Your face softens and you can’t help but tear up. His anger feels sharp and abrupt. 

“What now? Did I fuck up again?” Yoongi says coldly. 

You shake your head, eyes fluttering the tears away. “No, it’s okay. I know you’re upset.. But it’s Ace, you know? You always call me Ace. I haven’t heard you say my name in a while. It’s like you’re actually mad at me or something..”

Yoongi stays silent. 

You never expected this. 

A whole week passes by and the most that has happened between you and Yoongi since are pathetic “good morning” and “good night” text messages. You two avoid each other and barely replied in the group chats. You’ve picked up extra shifts and Yoongi has been spending most of his time with the guys, with his brother, or alone. Thank god he warned the guys not to reach out to you regarding the argument.. Yoongi knows he was wrong to get so heated up so quickly… But also, he knows deep down his feelings were valid. 

It’s so stupid. 

The way he has been handling this entire thing is so fucking lame. He knows it and you know it. You both are acting like such babies—unwilling to communicate and understand each other. To be fair; you two have never reached the part of an argument where it actually made one another upset. This was the first time and it’s honestly the worst fucking thing you two have gone through. 

It’s sickening. 

It’s painful waiting for his calls and missing his daily updates… Avoiding eye contact and hesitating to hold your hand when you two are around each other. It doesn’t help that you can’t even remember the last time you two kissed and held each other since his arrival home. It has practically been a month since you two have been together together. 

Now it all aches. 

It hurt him to think that you couldn’t see a future with him when he knows his future is you. It ached so much to see the way your face went blank… Why were you unsure? Has he not given you all the reassurance you need? Has he not been doing enough? Was the 3 for 3 not good enough? … Rather, will he ever be good enough?

All these questions flooded his mind from morning to night. He waits for your reply every day and wonders if he should just swallow his pride and be the first to yield. 

This was your first disagreement as a couple and he isn’t too sure how to navigate through it. What is he supposed to do? His past relationships were never as dramatic as this.. Well, truth be told; he didn’t really care about his exes as much as he cares about you. Dramatic or not, the feelings were real and all more of the reason to push forward with begging for forgiveness. 

Begging to be yours. 

Begging to be loved. 

So what now? Does he surprise you with a significant gesture and make a bunch of promises that he knows are half-assed? In a sense, he was still angry. However, Yoongi knows better. His anger can’t be the reason he loses you.. And as we all know; Min Yoongi is a sore loser. 

Forever, Yoongi will refuse to lose you. 

The mere idea of dating you only for you two to break up… Sickening. He would rather crawl to you than walk away. As this realization hits him, he rushes inside his apartment and then into his room. He should go see you. 

Now. 

He has to see you now.

Yoongi doesn’t know where you are. 

At first, he had a few ideas of where you could be. At your apartment, in the library, or at the pool watching Jungkook’s swim practice.. He runs around campus desperate to find you. In all honesty, the speech he had prepared got lost along the way. As he hurriedly searches for you, the only words that ring are: it doesn’t end here. 

We don’t end here.

I love you—

You. 

Yoongi sees you sitting on the same bench you pitched three for three. You’re swinging your legs, watching the morning waves crash against the shore. He soaks in the sight of you looking so at peace. He loves how pretty you are from a far.

And then it hits him: he’s so lucky to love you.

It’s truly a privilege to love you because of everything you are. His anger and all the reasons he had gaslit himself into self-sabotaging your love for him—the extension of your beauty… It was so fucking wrong. Maybe he got too comfortable believing that he had you. Maybe he was too mesmerized with the idea of you two lasting forever that he forgot to even fucking ask it. 

He was wrong. 

He should’ve asked first. 

… But that’s the thing about being in love; you have faith. You believe in everything about the person you love. You believe in the good and that the universe sees you well enough to bless you forever. You believe in all the shooting stars and wishful thinking… You believe in forever when you meet the one that makes forever feel like it’s not enough.. But, you’d take it anyway. 

Drowning in his thoughts, Yoongi stands still and practically zones out. Meanwhile, from the corner of your eye, you see him. You see him standing there with the most devastated and desperate look on his face. Then, his eyes flicker to you. 

Your eyes meet and lock. His are glossy with tears building up. Even from a far, you can tell he has horrible eye bags. Perhaps, he hasn’t been sleeping well at night. Overall, he looks like a mess. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and your favourite white FOG shirt he owns. Even so… He looks restless. 

For his sake, you pretend not to see him. You turn back and watch the sea. Sitting in silence, you take deep breaths as you feel him walking toward you. You’re sure he’s here now but you don’t want to say anything. 

What could you say?

And it’s weird because you’d expect him to clear his throat and speak.. But he doesn’t. No, he stays silent. Yoongi also doesn’t sit down next to you. Instead, he stands a few feet away and watches the waves kiss the shore. 

Never has he ever felt so jealous of the sea.

An hour and a half passed by since Yoongi found you and within this time: he stays silent.

He follows you around, trailing behind you like a fucking loser. His head is bowed down for the most part and he focuses on following your shoes. 

You don’t have any classes today so he finds it a little weird that you’re running around doing random shit. You aren’t buying anything or meeting up with anyone.. It just feels like you’re stalling. In a stupid way; he’s thankful you’re doing so.

He doesn’t say anything though.. Why would he? All the words he had prepared got lost as he followed you around. 

All of this simply angers you. 

The quiet moment shared between you two at the seaside bench was cute but now he’s just being fucking annoying. Is he serious? He blew up a week ago and now he can’t even apologize for leaving you alone that night? For how cold he’s been? For being the worst boyfriend ever? 

Oh my god. 

It pisses you off so much. For a man that’s such a sore loser; he surely isn’t doing much to win you over. 

That’s just it! All men do is lie. 

By now, your feet hurt and you’re too annoyed to keep playing whatever game this is. You pick up your pace and turn toward the direction of your apartment. 

Yoongi follows. 

Your irritated mood begins to cloud your thoughts. You can feel your frustration take over and you just know you can’t do this anymore. The silence, the sad puppy look on his face, and the simple fact that everything between you two just feels so paper thin—no. This is not it. This isn’t want you want. 

You pause and turn to him. 

He lifts his head and blinks at you slowly. Still, he stays silent. He doesn’t even greet you with a smile.. Nothing. What the fuck? What’s the point of any of this?

The fucking audacity of this man. 

“That’s it?”

Yoongi shrugs. 

“Coward,” you hiss. Taking a step forward, he follows your lead. You’re close enough to him to reach out and hit his chest with your fist. You don’t do anything. You stay still, just like him. In your head, you’re crying and he’s holding you. In your head, he’s already pouring his heart out and you’re mending everything back together. In your head; Yoongi is fighting for you. 

“Do you have anything to say?” you ask desperately. “You can’t do this, you know? You can’t ignore me for a week and then just show up and not say anything. You can’t follow me around like you care when you obviously don’t. What the hell, Yoongi? If it’s over, then just say it. Say it so I can go home and wonder why the fuck the universe gave me you just to lose you because I.. I’m falling apart here—I can’t—I don’t know what’s going on and you just spent like two hours not saying a single word to me. If you have nothing to say then fine! It’s over—I don’t fucking know what’s going on anymore. Do you?”

“Not really,” Yoongi reveals. “I love you.. That’s all I know.”

His hands are on your waist, guiding you through your own apartment.

Yoongi’s kisses have never felt so good. His lips are so addicting—you can’t stop kissing him back. As innocent as the kissing goes; you can’t say the same for his hands. Once on your waist, now slipped in between your panties and your skin. 

Your body shivers from his touch.

“Slow down,” you pull away from him; “I’m still mad at you.”

Lies.

“Good,” he snickers deviously, “hate sex sounds really good right now.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I can change that.”

Without warning, Yoongi picks you up and throws you onto your bed. There, you watch him take off his jacket, his shirt, and then just as he’s about to take off his pants; you crawl to him. 

“Can I?”

Yoongi fights for his life to stay calm and cool. He succeeds as he lets out two words: “say please.”

In response, you glare at him. “You want me to say please when you’re about to get head—”

No warning. 

Yoongi tugs his sweatpants down and grabs a handful of your hair. He shoves his thick cock into your pretty mouth. It shuts you up immediately. The moment you feel his velvety skin in your mouth, you moan at the taste of his precum on your mouth. Yoongi throws his head back from the relief and literal pleasure of your warm mouth wrapped around him. In contrast to his initial action, Yoongi thrusts in gently. His tip hits the back of your throat and you gag—tears triggered. You suck him as he moves back and forth. It makes him weak. How are you so fucking pretty while you do the dirtiest thing? He doesn’t know if he hates himself or not… How could he be doing this to you? At the same time, how could he not? 

He’s wanted this for so long. He missed you so fucking much.

“Mhmm,” he moans, “hate me yet?” 

He pulls you away from his dick. You grab it with your hands and jerk him off. Tilting your head, you bat your eyes at him. You shake your head at him, “I love you, Aki.”

Yoongi’s heart collapses. With no time to waste, he bends down and kisses you deeply. “I love you too, Ace.”

Just as you’re about to continue, Yoongi shifts you to lie down. Though a little confused, you follow his lead. “Wait, I wasn’t done sucking your—”

“I need you,” Yoongi confesses so sinfully. There’s truth in his voice. The kind that feels urgent and “I need you more than you need me.. Please, ___.”

You nod, fully understanding what he wants. 

Laying on your back, you spread your legs for him. He assists you and helps you take off your pants. He tosses them aside before running his thumb on the band of your panties. For a moment, his hands roam around you. He runs his thumb against your heat before pushing them aside to see you bare. 

“Just take them off,” you advise him. He rolls his eyes at you. 

“I have a thing for your panties, Ace.. Holy shit, give me a fucking minute.” Yoongi hisses his words and it makes you laugh. “Don’t fucking laugh, you cockslut.”

“I’ll stop laughing when you finally fuck me.”

“Be patient.”

You cross your arms at him.

“Aren’t you the one that said you need me—oh my god!” you gasp, feeling yourself begin to throb at the feeling of Yoongi’s spit running down your folds. He smirks at how fast you shut up. Yoongi then takes off your panties entirely and then spreads your legs in front of him. 

He jerks himself off a few times before hitting his hard cock against your pussy. Your breath hitches when he does so. “Are you wet enough?” he asks with no intention of waiting for your reply. He uses his thumb and index finger to spread your folds and judges for himself. He then spits again and massages it into your wet pussy. “Better?”

You nod, unable to answer. “Don’t finger me,” you beg. “Just fuck me, okay?”

“You don’t want me to finger you? How about I at least eat you out first—”

“You didn’t let me finish giving you a blowjob!”

Yoongi laughs, “I would’ve fucking nutted so hard in your mouth if I had let you suck it for one more second. Come on, Ace! I love eating you out. I want to make you feel good—”

“You’re not being fair,” you whine. “I want to make you feel good too.” 

“You do more than enough—fuck. Wow. Okay. Rude! Don’t be a bitch.”

You took off your top.

Now, he’s distracted by your plump breast. In all honesty, his favourite thing is to watch your boobs bounce when you two fuck. Whether it’s missionary and he’s on top of you; listening to your soft moans and lewd praises or if you were riding him; heavily breathing and concentrating on getting yourself off… He loves it.

He fucking loves it all. 

And so be it. 

Yoongi gives in. You smile in pure happiness as he gulps and settles himself in between your legs. He pushes himself inside and you moan in relief. 

Fucking finally.

It’s been too long. 

Yoongi thrusts in and out, completely melting in how good it feels to fuck you raw. He watches intensely as your breast move up and down from his thrusts. He looks at you and your stupid fuck me eyes that have him weak. All he knows is that he’s yours. His entire existence is because of you—because of moments like these where he is completely and utterly yours. 

As he fucks you, all he can think about is how much he loves you. How this is what home feels like—how good life actually is. It’s you. Everything good in his life is connected to you. It completely tears him apart. 

The more emotional he gets as he processes his feelings, the harder he fucks you. Soon, you’re moaning like never before. He fucks you so good that the bed practically shakes and your entire world begins to spin. He sits up more and grabs one of your breasts to help himself stabilize. As he continues to fuck you, all you can do is whine his name. 

When you reach your climax, you cream all over his cock. He doesn’t stop there though. No, he keeps on going. He keeps on going until he can’t take it anymore and his body collapses and falls on top of yours. There, you wrap your arms and legs around him. Sloppily, he finishes inside you. 

“My universe,” he whimpers, “you’re my universe.”

It’s a dewy rainy morning. 

Your bedroom window is open and the cloudy sky only makes your empty room feel gloomier. 

You woke up naked and alone. After the third round—because you’d be a complete idiot to think that Yoongi would call it a night after one round—you had fallen asleep next to the love of your life. 

Where is he now?

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt to wake up alone. Was all of that… Just break up sex? It couldn’t be! In between rounds, you and Yoongi found it in yourselves to make jokes and basically sink into your old vibes… No way did he just leave you. 

You gather your sheets and prepare to get up. Just as you’re about to, Yoongi comes out of the washroom. His hair is a little damp and he’s only wearing his sweatpants. 

Oh, what a sight. 

You squint at him and rub your eyes. “I thought you left.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he laughs, throwing his shirt at you. It lands on top of your head. Taking it, you put it on drop your sheets. 

“Can you pass me my panties please?”

Yoongi leans against your bathroom doorframe and shakes his head. “Nah.”

“Don’t be a dick—”

“Round four?”

You laugh. “You haven’t even said sorry yet and you think you can sneak in a forth round?”

Yoongi shrugs at you nonchalantly. “I snuck in three rounds last night… What’s another three? Three for three.” He mocks you. 

You stick your tongue out at him. 

Silence falls between you two as the sound of gradual raindrops hit your window. You turn your head and watch the rain begin to fall. 

“Didn’t know it was going to rain… Isn’t it the middle of summer? Kinda strange, don’t you think—”

“I’m sorry.” 

Yoongi folds. 

You turn back to him and see he’s on his knees before you. His head, just like yesterday, hangs low. 

“I overreacted. I felt like I was losing you. I was so stubborn and defensive that I ended up fighting for my pride rather than us… ___,” he pauses and lifts his head. “I’ve never been in love like this before. I never knew how much my feelings could consume me and how much I want us to work out. I was trying to fight for us. I know my words aren’t much; but I hope asking is enough.. I’ll be better. I’ll be so good to you from now on, I swear… The jealousy and insecurities I have… I’m so messed up sometimes—I know… But I’m trying to be good enough to stay in your orbit.”

“Yoongi—“

“I was trying to pitch forever with you and I didn’t even give you a fair chance to accept or decline—”

“I would’ve said yes,” you interrupt him. “If you had asked properly; the answer is yes. Of course, I’d marry you… In due time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I’d have to introduce you to my preschoolers first but I’m sure you’ll win them over super fast—”

“Be serious.”

“I am!” you laugh, patting the spot next to you for him to join. He gets up and sits beside you. “I think we were just caught up in the moment. We were separated for a hot minute—I feel like it was just… Miscommunication? We can work on it. We’ll just have to be more patient with one another and maybe not ignore each other for a week?” 

Yoongi sighs and nods. “I still feel really shitty about everything.”

“Good,” you tease him as you cup his cheeks with the palm of your hands. He kisses them before resting in your embrace. “Make it up to me someday.”

“... Did you do it?”

“No.”

He stares at the ring box he purchased with his brother during his trip to the States. The engagement ring you had not-so-secretly pinned on your Pinterst board was only available in the States.. Of course, because the universe was on his side; the trip and the ring’s time and location lined up. 

“I thought you were going to propose to her when you got back? If that stupid fight didn’t happen, we would’ve been having a different conversation right now. Did you guys even make up?” Yoongi’s brothers voice echoes in the call. “You dragged me to that fucking store and had me pick out details for like twenty rings!”

Yoongi sighs as he closes the ring box and shoves it inside his desk. Truth be told.. He wasn’t planning to propose to you yet. He just wanted the ring ready for when the time comes. 

“Someday,” Yoongi promises. “I’ll make it up to her someday in our forever.”

[king--of--ducks]

What happened to McAlastor

(and McVox, ig)

[[Both the McAlastor and McVox accounts no longer exist. I’ll leave it up to you to make some Matpat level theories about why. But I will say those accounts will not be coming back, the reasoning is not my place to share.

What IS my place to share—their mod and I were talking, and I was left with two options for McAl disappearing.

•Lucifer left him

•McAlastor died

Now, I haven’t had angst on this blog in a damn minute, and I couldn’t imagine Lucifer leaving McAl. So, naturally, me and the old “blitz-horsie-enthusiast” mod from the discord server got to work plotting and angsty death.

Below you will find a description of what happened, and below the cut/TWs you will find all the @ s and a very gorey plotline]]

[[The story goes as such. McAlastor and McVox used to date, obviously not anymore. So McVox decided the best course of action would to pull a “If I can’t have him, nobody can”, and hired Striker (played by the old Blitzø mod) to kill McAlastor while he was taking a nap in the freezer. Eventually Lucifer will find out who hired Striker, and, well….both “Mc” accounts are dead for a reason.

And despite McAl only being his fiancé and not husband, that doesn’t change him seeing Alyx and MJ as his kids.]]

TW:BLOOD, DEATH, GORE, I THINK THAT’S ALL?!

🍎Al! Al! Guess what?!🍎

Lucifer called out as he entered the McDonalds. It was one of those glorious days where Vox wasn’t working, and he could openly be lovey with his fiancé without judgment or doubt.

He hasn’t gotten a response, so he called out again to no answer. This wasn’t concerning to him, Alastor liked to sleep in the freezer a lot, he could for sure find him in there. So he quickly skipped on over, pulling open the door.

🍎Al! Deer! Gue—🍎

Lucifer froze like a deer in the headlights as he saw the state his deer lover was in. Holy bullet through the brain, another in his chest for good measure, blood dripping on the floor with a sickening dripping sound.

🍎A……..Al’!🍎

Lucifer charged forward to desperately check for and sign of life (or at least not double deadness), pulling his love into his arms. That same forever grin still plastered on his face, a calm one signifying a death in his sleep, one of Lucifer’s many duck prints blankets now coated in blood had been wrapped around him.

He was gone, gone and Lucifer couldn’t prevent it….he hadn’t been there.

He held Alastor’s cold lifeless corpse close for what could have been minutes, hours, maybe even days for all he knew. His sobs and Alastor’s blood had souled both of their outfits, and the blanket……this was it…it was the end of McAlastor.

@headlessdeaddancer @alyxdefoisnthere @damian-morningstar @charlie-morningstar666

[queer-mental-health]

another vent: i remember staying a school for a day to see if i liked it, that’s a thing some schools do for an application process, and this school was kind of bigger and in the city. so i got to see queer people my age for the first time in forever. openly queer teens who dress alt and play around and have fun. and there was this boy, and i’m pretty sure he was trans.

he passed pretty damn well and seemed really happy and he was talking with other alt/queer people. and this might sound weird to say, but i felt like a starved, caged animal looking in through a window at a domesticated mutt. i haven’t seen another one of me in so long and i’ve been closeted for so long. i think i understand now, why old queers used to risk getting busted by cops by going to mafia-owned bars. sorry if all of this was weird to say.

i just feel kind of lonely hanging out with cis people. i can’t really get in with the boys because they’ll never see me as a boy no matter what, and i feel kinda uncomfortable hanging out with girls because ill never really get them either. but the boys in my grade here are a bunch of jackasses and the girls feel just as disconnected, but i still care about them. i still like my friends but i don’t know what they might do if they knew.

little bit of trans joy for enrichment cuz this was a downer: once in the mirror i had on two backwards sports bras (i know it’ll mess up my ribs but i used to wear like… 4? 5? normal bralettes on top of each other to physically minimize and squish down my chest and i think the sports bras are an upgrade) underneath my favorite shirt my dad gave me, and my chest actually looked flatter. it made me happy. it was really nice. i haven’t done it since, but i liked it a lot.

— 🌷 anon. well wishes, blog owner

It definitely is great getting to meet other queers your age for the first time. I'm so glad you got to experience that and at the same time I'm sorry about how you feel lonely with cis people. Everyone has their people though, and I guess you found yours. That's great!

[wayvgorl]

i haven’t used this blog in forever lmao. but listened to jennie’s album and wanted to express how much i love to see her win. she was everyone’s punching bag (even her own damn fandom) since hiatus, that everyone forgot that she was THE it girl. the album is unapologetically confident, but it is not arrogant or flashy. we learn that her strength comes from her loyalty to her loved ones and this discipline for self-introspection.

to me, it was a solid 8/10. my only criticisms is that lyrically, it is a bit weaker compared to the heavy focus on instrumentals and creating a cohesive sonic sound. i hope with the success, should jnk2 come, she’s dedicated a writer’s camp because i would love to hear more what she has to say, and be in a room of experienced writers that could put that push on it. she very much stated that this was her introduction to sound production, but her second verse in ‘like JENNIE’ really shows the cleverness of being in a room with both english and korean writers that get her vision. the songs that she didn’t have a writing credit on with the exception of jane (start a war, handlebars, love hangover, and filter) were sonically good fillers, but weren’t the highlights of the album. her zane lowe interview did show that her introversion does create a block for her expressing herself deeper.

nonetheless, may i say that the visual marketing for the album really pulls it altogether. i think people underestimate how aesthetics do play into how an album is perceived because its art. people want imagery that matches the body of work, not just a nice portrait that can be a throwaway instagram post (personally, new artists just struggle with this because it’s an image that’s going to be plastered everywhere that they want to look nice). but the red symbolism in the opening curtains, the album wig, the field of flowers, etc — it’s strong, passionate, and a warning as much as it a symbol of love. it was an excellent choice for the themes of her album.

[just-ok-yknow]

Ok, first post ever on this blog. I created it to feel… a little bit of privacy. Sometimes it’s easier to post when you think nobody you know is going to actually see this. And well it’s the digital age, so if somebody wanted to enough I’m sure they could figure me out but whatever.

My current feels: sad, lonely, lethargic, warm, a little bloated.

Sometimes I rethink my relationship. It’s a steady long term one, and he’s a damn good guy, but even though he’s a good guy and he is genuine and wants to do his best by me, like.. I just wanna feel that crazy best friend connection?? The one where you know y’all get each other, y’all have the same vibes, and you’ll both do the same crazies? And y’all might enable each others crazy but then stop each others crazy when it gets a bit too far?? I want that feeling. And I feel like he doesn’t vibe with and get my crazy. Sometimes I feel like he rejects it or stifles it and THAT makes me feel sad and lonely.

And on a totally other topic, I feel like I need my solitude. I want me a damn enclosed four walls space with a door that is mine. Not the shared bedroom, not the shared bathroom or shared living room whatever. I want my room, my door, my quiet, my noise, like… just I want the privacy. I know I’m the type to need solitude to just sit and reflect or do whatever, but I think that’s how I … regain HP?? Like, I just know it makes me feel better, sigh. Anyways. It feels like I haven’t had that in forever so… #goals?

And thaaaat concludes our first post y’all! Lol. I think I might try and turn this also into a writing blog. Another thing I haven’t done in a long time but I used to and.. well, I guess we’ll see where it goes.

[susie-dreemurr]

Arcane s2 ep 4-6 reaction

My last lines in this ate btw.

Ep4

DID CAITLYN IMMEDIATELY GETA. REBOUND HAHAHHAHAHA

While I do admit to finding the isha and jinx connection rushes it’s still so cute. Jinx herself doesn’t want to carry her legacy so Isha is doing it for her. Child endangerment lets fucking gooooo

We’re gonna be seeing more of the place Vi spent years on, huh? Bleak…

Aw fuck that’s so fucking genuine man.

VANDER OUGHHHH

Ep5

I’m not gonna lie the entire ep 4i was just like “where is vi” so I’m glad to see this one starts with boxing

Not the song 💀💀💀 also my fuckign phone cannot take these flashing lights guys I cannot see all the details bc my screen keeps going dark I’m so sad

Vi please please please hallucinate Powder Mylo Clagger and Vander please please please— JINX,?????

While I do have my problems with the writing in this it’s just so ough. Vander bringing them both together again. If only for now.

Caitlyn…. I’m…. *nick zootopia facial expression*

MEL MEL MEEEEL YOURE BERE MY BELOWVD

Haven’t been live-blogging the jinx and vi and isha interaction and everything bc I’ve been too busy trying not to cry

“How did you know to do that?” She’s just cool like that.

Literally everything is always about siblings all the time forever

o(-( violet…… Silco and Vander fulfilling their duty as parents to at east one of the kids

Lmao just when I was like “where is ekko” the fucking hextech shows up. Pls pls pls

God fucking damnit. Viktor you could have freed ekko too yknow

Ep6

I already thought Sky was there too because the hexcore absorbed her completely but damn

LETS FUCKING GOOOO THE VIKTOR CULT AND THE VIKTOR

FUCKKKKK the commune is built upon their old house….. the one we saw….

Fuck. Aw come on huyssss leave viktor’s gay ass cult alone, Vi and jinx are somewhat happy here

“The final glorious evolution” say the line Simpsons meme

Vi saw Singed and is following him out. Beat his ass vi. Nobody said anything about weapons OUTSIDE of the commune

Caitlyn is just digging herself further and further into this hole huh

… Isha’s gonna die isn’t she

I do like that any “reconciliation arc” with Vi & Caitlyn aren’t actually. Solving things between them. They have goals and things they want to protect and they’ll accomplish that but they ain’t actually making up or talking. This kinda applies to vi & jinx too

Honestly my thoughts on part 2 s2 so far is that things are going TOO well. TOO happy. And Caitlyn isn’t TOO corrupted. Either things will go wrong real fast or it won’t feel like arcane anymore

…literally right after I type that it seems like Caitlyn has realized The Implications of jinx being here w vander and vi being amicable with them. It’s jover <- excited and nervous and already regretting and oughhh

GODAMNIT JAYCE

Viktor… Oj no….. Jayce you ruined everything DIDNT you

And again, a Powder uses the arcane to save her family, to help… and it brings about the catastrophe. And again, Powder dies and leaves her family a ruin.

[hellincarnation]

I’m Helliote or Eden and I brought some Ribena (a black current juice)

Im really thankful for all of my friends. I stepped into social media overthinking everything. And sometimes I still do. I started with a lot of loneliness in my heart, paired with bitterness made me sour and angry with everything. But then I started meeting more people, I started making friends and sharing my experiences with others.

Sure here’s times I’ve felt like I could die, and times I’ve reached such depths of hell I thought I couldn’t survive anymore. But I’m being completely serious when I say so many people here have done so much for me. Whether it be laughing at my jokes or talking to me.

I’m grateful for everyone I’ve met here, here are some people I’m grateful for:

@im-on-crack-send-help I thought and still think you were very cool, you helped me gain more confidence and although we joke that I’m stealing all your moots, I’m grateful to you for letting me meet more people. You’re ridiculously nice to me, even though I’m a solid bastard most of the time.

@jeahreading damn, my first friend on this blog. When I talk to you I feel like I could talk forever, I don’t make friends very fast but after 1-2 days of knowing you, you made me feel comfortable and safe. It’s heartening to know that we might have squabbles but if either of us ever have a period where we need help, the other will drop everything.

@mireyaaaaaaaaa Talking to you might be overwhelming sometimes, but you never fail to make my day. I may have horrible mood swings sometimes, but hearing you being excited is horribly infectious, even if I’m gloomy that day, I can’t help but laugh when you go on a rant about smth that happened.

@your-dazzling-sun Wowie, we’ve been friends for a solid time now. Ever since the older days, but thanks for always being there for me (EVEN IF YOUR MESSAGES ARESOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOO LAGGY) I remember my first interaction w you being about how we’re from the same country-

@lovely-rants-alot my queen, my girlboss, my favourite lesbian, you’re always there (sometimes concerningly late into the night) and you’re just easy to talk to. I’m mad at Indonesia that we aren’t able to meet up irl. Thanks for being there for me:)

@schrodinger-ka-billa our dynamic has gone through some changes through the past 3 weeks but the time you took to tell me about mythology is appreciated. I loved hearing about all the different characters :)

@shinchansbitch lol I was properly scared of you when I first joined this hellsite. But after several talks, chats and clowning, I can properly say that I would take a bullet for you. I’m being so fr rn.

@unhinged-as-hell Literally formed a core part of who I am right you. Through the whole ykw situation, you kept me grounded and focused. You’re probably one of my biggest role models and I thank you for making me as strong as I am right now. I can’t promise that I won’t forget you 10 years later, but I’ll remember the things you’ve taught me. keep burning.

@tamanna-and-her-struggles WOAH- you might no that’s wrong- you ARE the sweetest friend I have on this site. You’re fucking amazing, I enjoy talking to you a lot and your patience is unreal. When I’m feeling shitty, you make me feel way better :) you aren’t, won’t, will never be annoying to me, no matter what anyone says.

@lotuseaterwhowistlesthedark thanks for spamming my posts. I know it’s something that some people will overlook but opening my blog to see you bombarding me with likes is so fucking appreciated. I would love to be better friends with you if you ever want :)

@daonedaonlyskh You are so so sweet and an amazing writer/storyteller. You never fail to ask me how I am, and that really makes me feel cared for. I would also take several bullets for you, keep going bi bi bisexual.

@depressed-bi-twerking I know we haven’t been friends long, but you’re hella funny to talk to. Even though you’re an Eminem chronic listener, I still wanna be better friends with you if you ever want to

@zeherili-ankhein HELLO????? Your blog is a HIVE for me to learn more about Hinduism. You’re also hella fucking funny and makes me laugh with no fail. Bestest war criminal in existence. I wanna be better friends with you ;))))

Happy Mootsgiving, everyone!

So, technically, I know Thanksgiving is an American holiday… history… yadda yadda. However, this is not Thanksgiving.

This is Mootsgiving, and what I say goes ‘cause this is my holiday. Anyway! Mootsgiving is all the basic ideas of Thankgiving but better because I’m great like that.

I just wanted to show everyone how grateful I am, since gratefulness is a key principle of Thanksgiving.

I want all my moots from different countries to be able to have the picture-perfect movie-esque Thanksgiving of being surrounded by friends and family with all the care and love and gratefulness that can be poured into a single human. And, as the ever-dramatic Runar, what better way to do that than to organize a huge event?

So! Rules!

State what food you brought

State one thing you’re thankful for

My name is Runar, I brought the eggnog, and I’m grateful for each and every one of you 💗🫶

Really sappy and really long paragraph/speech under the cut!!

Soooo… to start off my big long speech… *clinks my fancy wine glass that’s filled with a mysterious substance* (It’s eggnog)

When I first started this blog, it was off a whim. I wanted to do something, something that involved putting my work out there, as I was just starting out. I wanted to mean something. In any sort of way, I wanted to leave a sort of mark. Not just any mark, though, no. I wanted to add a bit of joy, a spark of life that comes from creativity, and adding words and love into the space we occupy on this floating rock in space.

I wanted to write because it made me happy, and I wanted there to be a possibility of someone who was who got joy from reading to maybe stumble upon it, and get joy from me. Get joy from something I was able to provide for them.

I was also incredibly lonely. I had no friends, I had nothing, pretty much. I didn’t talk much. I was reclusive. I was okay, but I was empty. I didn’t have a purpose. And while I wasn’t expecting much, nothing at all really, I was overjoyed at the prospect that maybe just one person would stumble upon something I wrote and for a moment of their day, maybe they got peace from it.

Maybe they felt a little less lonely. I would have been at peace with just knowing the possibility of it was out there. And then… it did. And I got more than I bargained for, even, I got a friend. My first friend.

From there, everything… clicked. Slowly, but ever so surely, things were falling into place. I was gaining something that had not even crossed my mind. A family.

So, my silly dream born from a whim became friends, connections, and family, it became life-altering. It had ups, it had downs, it had in-betweens. It was beautiful and messy and happy and sad and fucked up and so wonderfully… human?

Yeah, this is online, this is a silly mootsgiving idea I thought up three hours ago because I wanted people to know I love them.

But to someone who had nothing, this is everything. You are everything.

Even if we’ve only talked one time, you have a special place in my heart. The character growth has been… one hell of a ride. I’ve gone through many eras, and made new friends in each and every one of them. So, with the end of the year closing soon, I suppose in a way this is not just a silly mootsgiving.

My bigger end goal, really, was to make sure as we get to the end of this ear, you know how genuinely important this whole year has been to me. How important you have been. I got an anon ask,

What does it feel like to be wanted?

It was beautiful poetry. I replied, said I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be wanted. But really? I think maybe I do. I think it feels like having enough people that you love to organize and invite everyone to a huge event online, to write out this heartfelt paragraph and trust that at least one person will care enough to read it.

My beginning goal has changed so much, and not at all. My biggest purpose in life has been, and I think will always be, to add something into this world.

Creativity, joy, happiness, compassion, I want to ensure that no matter what, as long as you know me, you know you have one person on this earth who loves and cares about you with as much feeling that can physically be felt by one person without exploding into a bunch of tiny little runar pieces.

But moreso, I think maybe my goal has changed from wanting to put stories out there, to putting myself out there. I don’t want to write stories that are just fiction, just crafted ideas meshed together to create a blob of fiction.

I want to write pieces of myself into everything, which i think might genuinely be impossible to not do. I want my heart to pour out of my fingers into the things i type out for you, and i want to not only feel things, but to maybe make you feel something too. Something warm and fuzzy, something good, as good as you deserve.

Aaaaannnd…. to end this….

I love you guys, thanks for being here <3

@marauding-almond @percyweasleyapologist @yesiamprocrastinating @dieatthealtar-deactivated @caramel-covered-apples @thatoneslytherinnerd @thatoneslytherinnerd2

@hedgehog-troops@circe-butbetter @stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling @l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft @aidens-ocean-galaxy@rainystarsx@liggy-not-potter @goformoony@i-still-got-love-for-you @definitionoffuckup@mairon-goth-minion

@weewooooweew @residentdisaster @matty-os-blog @starkissed-mars @printershorts @the1970sdeadgaywizard-regulus @lesbian-disaster-tm @star-dust-shark @enbysiriusblack @sadnappo @kawaiibarty @hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe

@jamespotterbbg @scrumblewonk @seekmemystar @rins-batcave @utterqueerdisasterthesimp @gasolinehornet @asters-tempo @here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can @permetutotheworld @theprongspotter @sotiredimbored @yourlocalbadgerscales @raeprise @burgundykicks @whydousernamesevenexist @jaydove-writes @the-stars-drowning @inara-tries-to-survive @saturnsconstellation @royallygray

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (498): Fri 28th Jul 2023

Last week I got a letter from HMRC telling me that I had paid too much tax and was due a refund of…£16! Wow. Long term readers of this blog (all none of you) may remember that in mid 2022 I got a letter from these idiots saying that I’d paid too much tax in 2021 and was due a refund of £1500. However after a month when the cheque they said they’d send me still hadn’t arrived I rang them up and they said that there was no way of telling for sure when the cheque will be issued / arrive as authorizing the cheque and mailing it out can be a long process. After four god damn months the cheque finally arrived and I put it towards my trip to LA. I got this letter telling me I was owed £16 last week and the cheque arrive this morning! Those cheeky fucking bastards! How come it takes them months and months to send out cheques that could really help people out during financial crises but when it only concerns pittances you can dish them out as fast a lightning? For readers of this blog who also used to read my original blog that I wrote from 2012 - 2020 (all minus 67 of you) may remember that I actually worked for HMRC from 2011 - 2014 and after they lied to me by saying I would only be doing call centre work for three months when they knew full well I would be there forever I pretty much stopped caring and only did the bare minimum. I would hang up on shithead customers and pretend it was an accident, go for a toilet break even when I didn’t need one, tell the customers any old shit just to get them off the phone, take sick days once every three months etc. I think that these bastards haven’t forgotten how I behaved when I was with them and this bollocks with this money they owe me is their way of getting back at me. I remember hanging up on one customer when he started shouting at me because I told him I couldn’t take his call because he’d failed security. I bet this guy now works for HMRC and on his first day looked up my name, saw that I was due a refund and then deliberately threw spanners in the works to ensure my cheque would be delayed. I can just picture him there now, sat in my old chair, giggling and rubbing himself with delight knowing that my money has been delayed. I’d love to arrange a meeting with this guy at Nando’s in the town and tell this guy I’m sorry….sorry I didn’t do it earlier! Before throwing hot sauce in his eyes and running off.

[superhousecat-once-again]

Getting real fucking sick of ‘the only way out is through’ like I’m tired!!! I don’t want to go through anymore!!!! I want to say ‘no I’m not doing this, it’s making me miserable’!!!! I want everyone to give me a break!!!! No more ‘just do your best :)’!!! There isn’t any more best left in me!!!!

If I wasn’t so close to graduating I’d commit to having a full breakdown but the disappointment would be too much for my heart at this point so I think I’m going to just have to be satisfied with a small scale breakdown, like idk maybe if I get one of my sixteen year old coworkers to pierce my ears in the bathroom after we close the irresponsibility of it all will shock my brain into a different state. Probably not a better one but that’s fine.

[happyheidi]

Hey fam, hope you're taking care of yourself. I know firsthand just how exhausting and challenging it is to be a caretaker to someone- especially someone who's family or in a semi-authoritative position. So nothing is worse than caring for a parent. Even if you have the most perfect parent in the world, caring itself is so draining, in more ways than one. I see you. And I also know what it feels like to break your phone and for it to be the straw to break the camel's back. You're doing great, and this isn't forever. Sending you all my love! 💞💟💕💓💗💖💝💙❤️💚💜🖤♥️💘💛

Wow, I gotta tell ya this and the other two anons who sent me messages regarding this made my eyes water - seriously! It feels good to be seen. It’s been a struggle. Yikes. My father fell late October and got a triple-break (don’t know the English) in his ankle so he had to stay at the hospital for 2 weeks then come home and have this almost medieval instrument strapped (drilled into his foot and leg) inside him to have the foot/leg “stay” a certain way thus making him immobile. So I moved up with my dog Moffe and started being his full time caretaker. Chef. Nurse. Errand-boy. Health care worker. Psychologist. Cleaning lady. + all the other -not to mention- things… I’m on welfare because of my anxiety, depression ++. So yeah, this has been one hell of a time. I’ve had breakdowns and behaved and done things I would normally never do or/say (which was weird for me but apparently not so uncommon with situations like these) but I’ve managed quite fine, considering. This blog has been (and is) my escape way more than ever before! It’s tough being the one who has to do it all, especially when ur sick yourself. And it was so very sudden! It was the same day the lounge specialist called me and said I could stop my antibiotics (I had puss/fluid in my lounge + hardcore pneumonia, and had to stay at the hospital for 9 days (in august). They drained 4 liters out of it. No explanation as to why. My heart was healthy and everything else - “you’ve been incredibly unlucky”… (yeah.. thanks. kinda used to that..) - but I was on antibiotics for such a long time after that and THE SAME DAY I got the “all clear” this bs happened to my dad… you gotta laugh cus if u don’t u almost lose ur mind. I spent my birthday having Moffe with epilepsy attacks and showering my dad and going to sleep early cus he had an operation the day after. Welcome to adulthood girl 😅 like damn. Haha. But I applaud you all that’s left ur life behind to take care of someone else, seriously! This is HARD WORK! Everyone tells me to take care of myself and I am, but I’ve had to put myself “on hold” for my father, u know? I can’t really focus on myself these days because I have him to focus on… but it’s amazing to get such sweet messages like these! U have no idea!

This was long. Sorry. I haven’t slept. I get my alone time at night so sometimes I don’t sleep. The apartment is very little (35 kvm) and I don’t even have my own room here it’s a sleeping “alcove” (sp?) with just a curtain for privacy.. and I’m a person who cherishes my privacy so very much and truly enjoy being by myself so in that way it’s also been a struggle. If I had mentioned every way this is and have been a struggle this post would never end tho.. and it’s already getting lengthy 😅 but it’s SO GOOD to let out! To get out of my system/to feel seen & heard in this way! I could go on and on like a diary here, but at the risk of being spammy I’m gonna shhh up but THANK U SO MUCH for this! Seriously you are all so incredibly kind and I can’t even begin to tell you all how you’ve helped me during this time without even knowing it! <3

Btw, look who wanted to say hi! 🤪

[departednightmare]

If you're really aroace, then the internalised aphobia here is strong enough to crush a fully-grown whale. Holy shit.

Why did I assume you're allo? I dunno mate, might be because you're being aphobic. Not a massive leap of logic to assume that someone being phobic towards one group probably isn't a part of said group.

We've also got to consider how you seem to be following your own advice and presenting yourself as allo. After reading your reblog, I double-checked your blog description and pinned post for any hints of asexuality that I might have previously missed due to my not snooping. It shouldn't surprise you to know I didn't find a blip of asexuality or aromanticism in relation to you there. "it’s so much easier to just… avoid the damn topic compared to gay people." With your apparent aroace status in mind, it's clear now that you were speaking from experience.

...Except it hasn't been easy, has it? Look at you. You hate everyone -- it's even your blog description! "hating everyone, one at a time. if i haven’t gotten to you yet i will don’t worry" Has it crossed your mind that, perhaps, suppressing your own identity has caused frustration to build up over time, leaving you lashing out in anger at anything and everything around you? Because that's what it looks like from the outside.

Because speaking as someone who has been in denial of her identity, and is now in the process of dropping hints so that when I eventually come out, the idea is already in people's heads... suppressing asexuality is not a case of "there’s nothing to suppress". It's hard. A part of you is locked up, wanting to be seen, but because the world doesn't understand asexuality properly, you have to curb the urge to just up and say it. If you're open about it, you run the risk of losing friendships and family forever. So you're stuck lying to the people you consider friends and family, never knowing if they'd stay if they knew you're not the allo you're presenting yourself to be. You can never truly trust them. You can never truly, honestly, reciprocate when they call you their best friend, or favourite niece, or beloved son. Because you know that could all change in an instant. You're trapped in a perpetual state of "I'm loved... but am I really?"

And then there's "just… avoid(ing) the damn topic" in romantic relationships. You can't. At some point, you'll have to A) let yourself be raped by an unknowing assailant in order to maintain your ruse, or B) come out and say it.

...But no, you're right. Hiding asexuality is easy. Nothing to suppress. Nope, nothing. No feelings to be hurt either. That's why you got upset when I assumed you were allo, even though you never mentioned your status as an aroace -- not in the post, not in your blog title, not even in your pinned post where you bluntly state your gatekeep-y opinions on LGBTQIA+ matters. Because it doesn't matter if people think you're allo, right?

"i’m asexual and aromantic mate."

...until they start accusing you of aphobia, I guess. Then you've gotta hammer in how extreme your asexuality is ("i believe asexuality is strictly no attraction and no sexual desire") to assert dominance.

Onto your actual "points"...

Point 1 and 2:

These two points both just seem to be you asserting your belief on what asexuality is/isn't, so I'll address them collectively.

You are entitled to your own personal beliefs. However, they conflict with official definitions of asexuality.

The Trevor Project definition: "Asexual/Ace: Commonly used to describe someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Some people on the asexual spectrum desire sexual intimacy, while others do not." They also acknowledge demi and grey as identities here.

Stonewall.org seems to both agree and disagree with you on one level, and totally contradict you on another. On one, they say that "Somebody who is asexual does not experience sexual attraction to anyone." but they also say in the previous paragraph that "Asexuality is a spectrum". On another page, they also say "‘Ace’ is an umbrella term used specifically to describe a lack of, varying, or occasional experiences of sexual attraction. This encompasses asexual people as well as those who identify as demisexual, grey ace, and other ace-spec identities."

So according to Stonewall, you're both right and wrong on the point that "asexuality is strictly no attraction and no sexual desire. little attraction exists but i do not classify that under asexuality". It completely refutes your pinned post claim that "asexuality/ aromanticism isn’t a spectrum, not inherently lgbt" (the latter point of which is refuted by both sites).

Point 3:

I'm assuming you get bullied for your own interest in "underground gore films".

Firstly, this is hardly a fair comparison. You might as well compare the struggles faced by black people in America to your struggles completing a souls-like game.

Secondly... "asexuals aren’t governed in an unfair and cruel way"? So you believe it's fair and uncruel for asexuals to have serious health concerns such as cancer disregarded in favour of "fixing" their asexuality? "asexuals aren’t prevented from having opportunities"? So when an employer doesn't consider an asexual-and-out person for a promotion purely because he doesn't like their orientation and can get away with discriminating because asexuality (or a lack of sexual orientation) isn't legally a protected characteristic, you believe the asexual person isn't being denied opportunities based purely on their sexual orientation? "asexuals have freedom with their sexuality"? Then why do so many of us feel constrained when we can't freely acknowledge our sexuality or lack thereof due to it not being safe for us to do so?

(And this isn't even getting into the mess that asexuals would face in third-world countries. Or do you think that the people who stone women for showing hair, or for loving other women, would be chill with the idea of someone not wanting to perform their "marital duties"?)

Point 4:

Again, massive internalised aphobia. I've addressed most of this elsewhere already, but:

"hiding asexuality is just literally not talking about it. hiding homosexuality is not being able to be yourself."

I could counter this simply by saying "hiding homosexuality is just literally not talking about it. Hiding asexuality is not being able to be yourself." Because it'd be just as true. A homosexual could, theoretically, hide their gayness by simply not talking about it. Relationships aren't mandatory, after all.

Except people tend to want closeness with others, be it sexual, romantic, or platonic in nature. The Secret Gay will want to engage in sexual or romantic activities with members of the same sex, and suppressing this will lead to them feeling unfulfilled. The Secret Asexual will generally want to engage in platonic and/or romantic activities with others, and suppressing this will lead to them feeling unfulfilled.

Given that romantic relationships are expected to have a sexual element, it would be very, very difficult (and potentially traumatising) for an asexual to participate in these while also keeping their identity hidden. Either they come out or they're left alone and craving again. And as for platonic relationships, it comes down to what I said earlier about trust again. How can you truly trust someone when you don't know if they'd still love you if they knew about the part of you you're keeping hidden?

On top of all that, asexuality is an experience, same as any other sexual orientation. An asexual perceives the world differently to an allosexual just as a gay man perceives it differently to a straight man. Even disregarding others' reactions to your orientation, that inherent queerness is always there, shaping your thoughts and altering your perception of others and your reactions to them. It is a part of you, rooted deep inside, inseperable.

As an aroace, you should already be aware of this. That you deny there's anything within us to be suppressed is both interesting and alarming.

Point 5:

I'm genuinely not sure what your point was supposed to be here. Yeah, if someone's decent they'll respect your boundaries in regards to sex. But many people aren't decent, are they?

Yeah, both asexuals and celibate people may state boundaries in regards to sex. But those two identities aren't the same -- one genuinely has no interest and the other is suppressing interest -- and people's reactions are always going to reflect that.

Because make no mistake, if you tell a potential partner that "if we’re in a relationship, it’s strictly no sex and please respect that", they will ask why. Because you're barring them from something that they want, and so naturally, they'll want to know why. Even if they're a closeted asexual themselves, they'll want to know if you're like them or something else -- if you might change your mind and stop being safe. Their final stance on your boundary will be based entirely on how you explain or hide your asexuality in this moment... and then of course, there are the freaks who'll tell you "Well, one night with me and that won't be a problem anymore" regardless of what you do.

It's not a case of "oh im cool with no sex lets hug" or "nah i need sex bye". People are too complex and curious for it to ever be that simple.

Your Tags (which I'm addressing here because it didn't fit well anywhere else):

"#like i already said in my original post there’s violence in ignorance and misinformation but it’s not called oppression" "#or aphobia"

...So committing acts of violence against asexuals due to their asexuality isn't aphobia? What is it then? Acist? Douchebaggery? Perfectly-Understandable-Have-A-Good-Day?

"#and you’re proving my point by calling whatever i said aphobia"

You told asexuals to hide and suppress their identities (while also claiming there's nothing to suppress), essentially called them "whining" pussies for not wanting to be dehumanised, claimed that any rape they face as a consequence of coming out is a "boundaries" thing and has nothing to do with their identity, tagged your original post with "#asexuals are doo doo dumb"and posted a video of some bloke unironically taking the piss out of them for not wanting to be treated like shit. Yes, that's aphobia.

Point 6:

Well done, you had instagram followers.

"i couldn’t handle the whining and the constant expansion of the 'umbrella'"

Well, do what you claim is so easy then. Don't talk about it. Then people like me won't find your little bitch-fits and point out "whine about" the flaws in your reasoning. You sound like one of those heavy metal elitists. "Grr, this music isn't as heavy as [insert obscure underground Atmospheric-Blackened-Death-Doom band here], it's not real metal!" Except you're doing with with the ace umbrella instead.

In all seriousness though, I hope that someday you manage to calm down and accept who you are, and recognise that other people can be similar to you but different. It sounds to me like you're incredibly dissatisfied with yourself and with life. "hating everyone, one at a time. if i haven’t gotten to you yet i will don’t worry" isn't the statement of a contented individual who's at peace with their identity. Which leads me to one final point, actually...

"there’s also cases of people who are troubled by their lack of attraction (...) therefore therapy is needed"

Please take your own advice. If I can tell at a glance that you're deeply troubled, then I can't even begin to imagine what your state of mind looks like in person. Please look after yourself and get help.

Sincerely, A fellow zero-attraction asexual

Asexuals aren’t oppressed

Nah seriously no asexual experiences systemic oppression.

“Asexuals are dehumanised.” And why do random people’s opinions matter to you? What can they do to harm you other than say: “That’s not real.”

Well sure maybe you’re discriminated against when you bring up your sexuality but it’s so much easier to just… avoid the damn topic compared to gay people.

A lot of shitty reactions are just shitty words. The shittiest reaction is rape and that’s horrid for sure. But that’s not an asexual thing. Tbh, imo, It’s a boundaries thing that non asexual people like celibates or sex repulsed individuals also experience.

“Aphobia” is something that can be so easily ignored instead of whining about it. Like it’s just one singular person, why are you allowing these people to make your entire life miserable?

Violence caused by ignorance and a dismissive attitude is real, but it shouldn’t be considered “oppression” in any way, shape or form.

[sagendipity]

reminder i'm sage i used to be notplanningshit until i accidentally deleted my blog so now im reposting my works!

info: quackity x reader, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no warnings

on frizzy hair and the pursuit of perfection

Intellectually, in the rational side of your brain, you know that what you’re feeling is stupid.

You see the Instagram posts talking about the importance of self-affirmation and mental health. You see the tweets saying that people are more than their family’s perception of them. You realize that having a condescending and judgmental family is almost a right of passage for your generation.

These are all things you know, intellectually. But knowing something intellectually does jack shit for actually convincing your heart of whatever you know. You can yell at yourself all you want, but it’s clearly not your rational brain making you tear up at yet another text from your dad that was along the lines of “cool, could be better, though.”

You just want someone, just once, to celebrate an achievement with you. You want to be excited to share something with someone, without fear of them scoffing in the face of your pride and excitement. In your family- hell, in the world, certainly- someone has always done better, and you’re damn sure to be reminded of such.

It’s been years of this same behavior, ever since you can remember. It’s not just your dad, either, it’s your whole family- aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. The whole town you grew up in had this haughty, arrogant air about it, where everyone was constantly competing, even if there was no reason for it. Take the hardest classes, get the least sleep, get the biggest scholarship. Even your friends would flex their better test scores at you, and refuse to help you with the homework, in case you somehow got a better score on a test than them. You know it’s how they were raised, they’re just a product of their environment and don’t know how bad it hurts, but it still stung then, and probably always will. You’re still in contact with a few of them, and it’s just more of the same whenever you exchange a handful of quick texts every couple months.

You know you should stop giving information about your achievements to them, but when your dad texts and asks how you are, there’s not much you can reply with other than “good, got a promotion at work!” From there, it’s a slippery slope of him asking what new benefits you got, and then the judgmental few moments where the gray dots disappear and reappear while he tries to compose his thoughts about your inadequacy in the least-abrasive way a middle-aged man can. That is to say, not un-abrasively at all. In fact, his words are often delivered with the finesse of low-grit sandpaper on soft wood.

Well, could be more. Work harder and maybe you’ll get an increase next month. I got a lot of bonuses at work when I was your age. All you have to do is take the bad shifts and get some good customer reviews. You’ll get there.

You stare at the fresh new message on your phone screen before clicking it off with a bone-deep sigh, your eyes betraying your rational side by, again, tearing up. You shove the heels of your hands into your eyes and rub until the tears are forced away and you see spots.

That’s how Alex finds you, sat on the foot of your shared bed with your hands rubbing fiercely at your eyes. He’s probably just come to grab a hoodie- the setting sun brings with it a cool breeze that washes through your open windows and cools the house from the warmth it’d gathered from the day’s sun.

“You good?” He asks, opening his closet door and pulling out a hoodie. He wrestles it on over his head as he waits for your response- when he pushes his head out the other end, hair mussed and static-y, you still haven’t answered. “Baby?”

He comes and sits down next to you. Your eyes, red-rimmed but still dry, track his movements before flicking to catalog every tuft of disheveled hair protruding from his head. With a superficial smile, you reach up to smooth his long, black locks back and down into place. It doesn’t matter; he’s going to slip on a beanie sooner or later, but for now, you distract yourself by combing gentle fingers through the soft strands.

“Not that I don’t appreciate this,” Alex murmurs, brown eyes searching your face for an answer to what has you upset. “But what’s wrong?”

“Just my dad,” you whisper, not trusting your voice not to crack. You avoid his gaze, keeping your eyes fixed stubbornly on his hair as you finish your work. “There. You looked like a hedgehog.”

He huffs a little laugh, but scoots closer to you and grabs a hand out of your lap- you’d curled your hands into tight fists, your nails digging little red crescents into your palm. He uncurls the hand he’s holding and reaches for the other, but you save him the work by instead grabbing onto your own thigh tightly, redirecting the frustration. He rubs small circles into the aching skin of your other palm while he waits for you to gather yourself and explain, now that the ice has been broken on the topic.

“He always acts like whatever I do is just not quite good enough for him. They all do- him, my mom, even my fucking friends.” You rub your free hand down your face, trying to alleviate some tension. It does not work. “I don’t know why I’m still upset. They’ve been doing it forever.”

“That’s probably why you’re still upset. You hope they’d grown up enough to stop doing that.” Alex presses his thumb into the center of your palm. It grounds you, and you swallow around the lump in your throat.

“It’s not even a matter of immaturity- it’s not as simple as a pissing contest. It’s just who they are. They don’t think perfection exists, but they want me to achieve it anyways.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That sounds exhausting.”

He sounds so sincere, so genuine, like the idea of you being treated this way is deeply upsetting to him. You’d never really… experienced that. Someone recognizing your struggle, and admitting that it must fucking suck is something you’d never been graced with.

His brow is furrowed in a display of concern, eyes gentle and searching. He’s not lying, he means what he said, and he’s not going to follow it up with a “but-,”.

Eyes beginning to sting again, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on his shoulder. The soft fabric of his hoodie immediately calms you, along with the warmth you can feel emanating from him. It makes sense, after all, that the personification of pure sunshine would have such warmth about them.

Alex scoots forward, gathering you more closely in his arms, his legs awkwardly folded so that you can sit right in front of him. His hands come up to hold you, one fisting in the fabric of your sweatshirt, and the other resting on the back of your neck, gentle, but firm. You let out a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. Not going to cry.

“I got a promotion at work,” you mutter, taking a long, deep breath. You brace yourself, waiting for a dismissive response. “That’s what set my dad off- I got- he-.”

Your voice cracks, and you trail off with a small sigh, clutching at Alex’s hoodie even tighter. It’s thick and soft under your fingers, and you knead at it like a cat.

“A promotion?! Baby, that’s amazing!” Alex pulls back just enough to take a glance at you, his own expression steeling from excitement back to sadness as he sees that you are still fighting back tears. “Sweetheart, I think you’re the only person to ever cry after getting a promotion.”

A little laugh escapes your chest, huffy and wet, but still a laugh. Alex’s lips curl into a smile as he reaches up to smooth back some of your stray hairs, like you’d done for him a moment or two ago. You smile, reaching up to intercept his hand, and lace the two of you’s fingers together.

He squeezes your hand where it’s resting in his grip, looking at your linked fingers briefly. “Also, your family is wrong.”

“About what specifically?” You huff, wiping at your eyes for hopefully the final time.

“About perfection not existing. It does, and I know exactly what it looks like.” Despite the serious words, Alex is fighting back a smile. You narrow your eyes at him, already anticipating the next thing he’s going to say. “It looks like you, dumbass.”

You groan, feeling a hot blush rise to your cheeks immediately. You tip forward to bury yourself in Alex’s neck, this time hiding your flustered face and stupidly happy grin.

“I can feel your smile against my neck, you know.”

“Oh, fuck off-.”

With the hand that’s on the back of your neck, Alex coaxes you out of hiding just to press a kiss to your forehead. “Really. I am proud of you. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me about your achievements because of what your family has done to you.”

“Okay,” you whisper again, voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”

He hums in response, tilting his head and looking at you with what can only be described as pure fondness in his eyes. Then, he leans down to meet you for a delicate kiss, and your eyes finally stop stinging.