#i have zero experience with caring for little kids so idk how smart they are by when

[adair-kiba]

A drabble about Adair and Ori and a new adventure.

6.55 MSQ spoilers.

Adair's heart lept at Wuk Lamat's request to come to the Tural. A new adventure in a completely new place, a chance to meet new people, and discover new plants to put in his next book - it was an irrisistable temptation. Plus, her seemingly selfless desire to become the next leader of Tural warmed his heart. Adair is always glad to help a good cause, and her intentions feel sincere.

But, Adair could tell that this adventure will keep him away from home for much longer than his foray into the First, or his journey to the end. His had missed his son terribly while he had been away, and Grandpa Edmont had reported that little Ori would fuss and cry when Adair was gone for too long. Adair couldn't bear to put his son through that again, not for something that isn't a life or death situation.

Wishing to follow his heart, Adair informed Wuk Lamat that if he was to come to Tural, he would likely need to bring his child. She cheerfully assured him that there are plenty of little ones in Tural for Ori to meet and play with, and caregivers to look after him when Adair has duties to attend to.

Reassured, Adair decided it would be best to give Ori a choice. Before their nightly bedtime story, Adair asked Ori what he would like to do.

"Ori, how would you like to go on a real adventure with me?"

The almost-four-year-old's eyes lit up at the idea like he had won the prize of a lifetime, "I get to go?!"

Adair smiles at the awestruck look. "Yes, if you'd like to. This one should be fairly safe."

Ori doesn't wait for Adair to finish before he's chiming in with a chorus of "Yes, yes! I want to go!"

Stifling a laugh at his little adventurer's eagerness, Adair waits for him to calm down and continues, "Okay, now I need you to listen carefully for a moment." Ori diligently nods and sits as still as he's able, "If you do go with me, you won't see your friends from the Firmament or Grandpa Edmont or your uncles for a long time. You can talk with them over my linkpearl, but you'll be too far away to play together. Are you okay with that idea?"

Ori's brow furrows as he considers this. He loves his friends and family, but he was so sad when his daddy was away. After a pause Ori asks, "Daddy and Ori will go 'venturing, then we'll come home when we're done?"

Considering Ori's words carefully, Adair confirms "Yes, but the adventure will be a long time, and you might still have to have a babysitter sometimes. If you want to stay here at home with Grandpa Edmont instead that's okay too, and I'll call you every night just like before."

After a pause while Ori thinks over his father's words, he reasserts "I want to go with Daddy!" and hugs Adair tight. Adair returns his son's hug, and Ori settles into his lap as Adair opens their storybook to a brand new tale. Ori hardly listens to the story, dozing off with thoughts of what amazing new things he'll get to see in Tural at his dad's side.

[yinses]

college au! headcanons

gojo satoru, geto suguru & nanami kento

rqst: college au for nanami, geto and gojo?

a/n: so i divided it into three categories to help keep my head straight. honestly almost straight kicked gojo out of college bc i couldn’t decide on a major for him. the jjk discord server is heaven sent for my sanity. ty everyone again 🌺

last time i should have to post these. hoping everything is fine now. 

gojo satoru

MAJOR

—he starts off undecided for a long time. the fact that he’s on scholarship allows him to be more flexible with his classes given that he’s not responsible for costs. he grew up with expectations from his family but university is suppose to be his opportunity to spread his own wings and grow from his experiences.

—so he tries a bit of everything- sciences, music and social studies- anything to prompt a spark. (took a business class once and made a point to sit next to nanami everyday just to annoy him) by his second year he’s getting as frustrated as his counselor because if he doesn’t decide soon he’ll be a potential 5th year senior.

—he’s overthinking it but gojo wants to invest in what he believes will make the most significant impact to his ability. his counselor takes those crumbs and runs with it.

—he gets steered towards political science and actually excels at it (that advisor gets a raise). surprises most of the class with his analytical skills because they thought he was just a pretty boy- surprise he’s beautiful and smart.

—develops a vested interest in governmental policies. might run for president one day idk. brings donuts to his early am class. doesn’t share.

SOCIAL

—he’s not the jock per say, but as the star athlete of the basketball team, the school likes to take advantage of his image to draw in sponsors.

—his face is plastered all over the auditorium whether they’re in season or not. sometimes it’s not even to promote basketball, gojo is pretty and they’re not afraid to use it. which also makes him one of the most recognizable faces on campus.

—due to his student athlete contract, he’s not allowed to sign autographs freely in the event they’re attempted to be sold as quick cash. but yikes, he can barely walk to class without someone stopping him for a picture. to the best of his ability he tries to laugh it off, poster boy image and all, but it gets pretty fucking old and annoying quickly. especially when it makes him late for his next lesson and the instructor shows no sympathy.

—his height didn’t only help him get into basketball, but its also convenient when it comes to shouldering politely through the student masses. his golden rule is don’t make eye contact. the busier the crowds the easier it is for him to pretend like he could’t possibly have heard them.

—gojo doesnt scout fraternities, fraternities scout him. but he’s not interested in the slightest. as an athlete he already gets into any social circle he wants without the additional effort. that and he doesnt think he could tolerate an alpha male trying to exert his dominance without barking back.

—loves to show up to parties but always arrives late enough to the point where they don’t think he’s coming. it helps him slip in when he wants too. he’s a connoisseur of all alcohol varieties and a master of beer bong. he’s not necessarily the life of the party but his presence is kind of hard to miss.

RELATIONSHIPS

—he gets too much attention to date casually. most potential suitors are in it more for the benefits they receive than him anyway. he’s got enough on his plate with career indecisiveness and games to try to pursue anything serious before third year.

—he’s not completely celibate though. he tries to keep the same partners as long as he can. not only to keep himself clean and safe but because he often goes into an agreement to keep it casual. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. either way he gets coined as a ‘heartbreaker’ before the end of his freshman year. frankly the rumors obscure most of the truth and give him more freedom. people always expect that he’s with someone even when he’s not, which helps keep his invasive teammates off his back.

—gojo can easily graduate without securing something tangible but there is still a window for potential.

—you’re both his consistent classmate and occasional friends with benefits. its the former title that keeps bringing him back around. he cant exactly avoid you without subjecting himself to 8am classes. it helps that the sex is good too.

—he can text you an offer to study together for the next test and roll over after an hour and wreck you for the rest of the week. its hard to tell who gets addicted first but he does appreciate the way your skin looks when youre wearing his marks.

geto suguru

MAJOR

—he’s a STEM kid, particularly interested in bio-genetics to improve overall health. he believes that simply becoming a physician just keeps the issue at bay and his goal is to eradicate the problem at its source.

—since high school he’s been cataloging different programs across the country before deciding what he wanted and putting all his efforts into it. so it’s no surprise when he gets in.

—geto doesn’t need counselors but they’re required so he listens to them prattle on about using university as an opportunity to explore. this man came in with more college credits than most sophomores, he knows what he wants.

—always on-time to class and never misses an assignment. also that kid who goes above and beyond, even on the simple stuff. he rarely gets teased about it, not even behind his back. geto straight up scares some people even when he’s smiling.

—not afraid to correct teachers when they’re wrong. in fact he lives for it.

—he’s the one who graduated early and starts his master’s program before most of his age group declare their own majors.

SOCIAL

—he tends to frequent the same circles- handpicking his acquaintances out of class rosters, clubs and honor lists. he’s less in it for the friendship and more so to scout for potential research partners.

—met gojo in one of his science electives and literally carried him through the class. they somehow end up friends but only really hang out at each other’s places- bunch of chill movie nights and pizza.

—there is no interest in fraternities, but he does join university funded clubs that allow him to further his research. they give him unique access to labs, take him on trips to different conventions and have an alumni list a kilometer long for future collaborations.

—the man does not party but he will occasionally slip into quieter bars to ease some of his frustrations. he actually enjoys karaoke thursdays , not to sing for himself but the drunken antics of others bring him some amusement.

—smokes weed occasionally, but only his own product. it helps him relaxand fan out the stress. he never sells it but sometimes gojo nicks some of his stash. given that he gets drug tested often, geto doesn’t know how the athlete never gets caught.

RELATIONSHIPS

—not interested in seeking out relationships in the slightest. the man has a plan and he’s already married to it.

—he’s not completely immune to sexual advances though and occasionally splurges but none of the friends with benefits crap. he’ll hit it once and stay celibate for the rest of the year easily.

—you might be able to squeeze in as his fellow lab partner. remain invested in the work and not him and he’ll start noticing the little details of your company- the way you subtle perfume lingers on his lab coat hours after you’ve adorned for the day, how he knows you have to keep your hair up for safety precautions but he thinks about running his fingers through it daily and your mind, damn, he wonders what else you can come up with when he has you laid out on his sheets.

—if he’s interested, geto won’t hesitate to broach the topic. he’ll ask you out for coffee and when you try to bring up research he’ll be upfront about his attraction. ultimately if you start dating the two of you are an absolute unit- not that you weren’t before.

—you’re the one variable he didn’t plan for but he’s glad to have added you to the equation.

nanami kento

MAJOR

—he was made for the business world, brought by a CEO who raised him to inherit the company. administration major marketing minor.

—takes initiative in all his classes and is often coined as group leader for projects. mostly keeps to himself  and only speaks up when prompted or disagrees with something.

—he takes the earliest sessions possible because it means less people more often than not. doesn’t really care if its in the front, middle or back but always sits near the edge.

—doesn’t really want to but it looks good on his resume so he joins the marketing team where they present mock business plans for competitions. they win a lot. nanami honestly doesn’t care. but again it looks good.

—it only took him a brief summer internship to learn that he found nothing satisfying about board meetings and macro management.

—he decides to invest in law school to handle the company from a legal standpoint instead.

SOCIAL

— sort of like geto, only wants to make friends on a need be basis.

—he would rather keep to himself but knows the benefits of socializing so he interacts with his frequent classmates when he can- through study groups or car pooling to seminars.

—he does join a fraternity, its the same one his father did (and uncles, cousins, whatnot. its a generational thing). its geared towards bettering future leaders. they focus building resumes, charity events and run the organization like a proper business. nanami gets elected president by his third year and runs two terms.

—the only parties he attends are networking events- full of wine and fancy horderves. wine is plentiful but he’s always nursing a scotch on top of his headache. if one more person squeezes their stocks into a conversation he’s going to personally take down the whole market

—zero interest in college party life. spends some of his downtime at the campus theater watching old time movies and classic plays.

—he’s the coffee shop hoe. he wakes up early sometimes just to sit by the window and read some casual literature. has his own thermo that gives him free refills to cart to class. do not talk to this man before he’s had his caffeine.

RELATIONSHIP

—he probably has a high school sweetheart that he’s still clinging too, whether on the same campus or long distance. it helps him because he can’t really see himself pursuing a relationship while focusing on school.

—he’s been with you long enough that you understand his ambitions and won’t feel bested by them. the two of you have a system- starting the day off with sweet ‘good morning’ texts before class and ending the day with long conversations as you digest the last 12 hours.

—nanami is independent but he is thankful to have you to rely on when classes start to overwhelm him. the two of try to escape briefly for the weekend when you can. often going to near by reservations just to get off campus

—other times the two of you will cuddle close on your dorm bed, his long fingers combing through your hair while he reads over some notes for class.

—sometimes you have to be the one to tell him to take a break and to enjoy life while he can. even if that means dragging him the events and concerts hosted on campus. he resists at first but you can see the tension ebbing away as the night comes to a close.

—the two of you start living together in your senior year just because you can. he insists on buying a house. not only because he can afford it because it can be rented out after graduation. always the business man.

[bunnis-babes]

Can you give us karasuno mafia au Hc's pleaaaase

Karasuno as a Mafia

Okay, this was just kind of sitting here for a while, mainly because I didn’t see it until now? Idk man, but I know I can write this shit and I should’ve had it out like fifty years ago bc I know exactly what this AU is like to me. So I hope its enjoyable!

Brief Karasuno History: Karasuno, once one of the most powerful households in the prefecture, fell after the passing of the then Godfather. Eventually causing strong members to leave and join more… profitable organizations. It went through several different heads, before the position was just dropped on Ittetsu Takeda. It was on the brink of totally collapsing when Sawamura — alongside his close comrades Sugawara and Asahi — joined. He quickly became one of the best men Karasuno had seen in years, and he was determined to make Karasuno the Powerhouse it once was, again. To do that they had to find members, but they couldn’t just ask high ranking men to join, they���d be laughed at or smothered out. So with some sweet convincing from Suga, Takeda okayed taking in scrappy kids off the streets was the best idea - they had nothing to loose, especially not when they were offered a place to stay and food just for some work they’d already been doing. Thus began the rise of the Powerhouse. Karasuno.

Specialties: Karasuno is more of a Jack of all trades, but they do specialize in paid services, such as: Selling/Making of drugs, Buying/Selling of guns, Assassinations, and Bodygaurding.

Takeda: The current Godfather of Karasuno. He has no clue what he’s doing, this whole operation just handed to him out of nowhere because the former leader had given up on this rough group of kids. He was always just a lowly underling who hardly even did any dirty work - and yet this position was placed upon his shoulders, and damnit if he wasn’t gonna do his best. So luck must’ve smiled upon him, when three scrappy boys stumbled into his house holding the same fire and passion to save this place that he did. He even gets one of the former Godfather’s grandson to help him out - as he can’t help these kids in anyway when he hardly knows what’s happening.

Ukai: He didn’t want this. He was trying to avoid this lifestyle, but something about Takeda’s persistence really made him crack. So, this poor man, agrees to join on as Takeda’s right hand - though he winds up doing way more work than him anyway. He has far more experience, coming from a family filled with high ranking members, so he learned from the best. While Takeda handles more of the mild planning and business, he’s hands on with the boys and teaching them everything they know, as well as setting some things up behind the scenes.

Daichi: He’s pretty much the big guy that everyone answers to before going to Ukai or Takeda. Before Karasuno he specialized in the making and selling of drugs alongside Suga, as well as the occasional underground fight for just a bit more money. It was initially to help his family get by, as his mother couldn’t support three children on her own. He came to Karasuno when business was low, and he knew he would need a few extra hands, but had been denied by ever other group. When he joins he become the go to guy to do whatever dirty job he’s needed - and he isn’t afraid to get dirty. Also, he becomes the honorary dad of the house (even in the mafia he is still Dadchi).

Sugawara: He’s more or less of the hitman/nurse of the group. He knows how to make all kinds of medicine - legal and illegal - as well as how to patch up all different kinds of injuries. (He had to with the fights Daichi was going through.) He’s incredibly skilled with a gun, he just hasn’t really used one all that much so he’s sloppy at time. Damn if he isn’t brutal. By far Sugawara is the most brutal killer at Karasuno, especially if his target has wronged him or his house in anyway. He sees everyone at Karasuno as family, and you don’t just mess with Suga’s family and live.

Asahi: He is the muscle. Those fists alone do some serious damage - he does a lot of the disposing and intimidating. He’s an amazing fighter too, knows how to move just right from all those years fighting illegally on the streets just to survive and get by. He fought Daichi a few times when he still participated in underground fight clubs, and kind of became friends with him - as well as Noya who thought so highly of him(we’ll get into that soon). Now if only he didn’t freeze up in super high stakes mission. It still rings true that he’s a gentle giant, and he doesn’t like hurting people unless he absolutely has to, so he gets nervous easily. He earned himself a reputation that’s to be feared, and also to be challenged.

Nishinoya & Tanaka: These two little shits are a tag team that grew up side by side. Both their families were poor so they lived in the slums, and the two boys grew up around violence and had to learn to fight from a young age to stay alive. While Tanaka only learned to fight solely to survive, Noya learned not just to survive but because his father was part of a rather large house and valued having his son know how to fight. They trained themselves to fight side by side, and became a scary double threat. Noya and him fought in the same ring Daichi and Asahi did, and Noya made rather good friends with Asahi, even learning some moves from just watching him - he was pissed when he left the fight club. Thats how Daichi knew about the two, and he approached them - of course they joined and became a kind of wild card in house - a rather dangerous tag team that can pretty easily get out of any situation they’re stuck in. Plus, Tanaka is really fucking good at intimidation.

Tsukkishima: He’s a jack of all trades who was raised by a small gang with Yamaguchi. He left the gang when he found himself bored with it, Yamaguchi following him with his tail between his legs. Joined Karasuno on a whim after witnessing one of their fights and deciding ‘why the hell not?’ He is, like previously stated, a Jake of all trades. He’s smart, fast, strong, and sneaky. His performance, however depends on how many shits he’s giving that day… Which is typically zero. Not to say when he doesn’t care he’s bad, he just doesn’t do his best because he doesn’t see the point in trying all that hard. Also, he despises Kageyama and Hinata - not only are they annoying, but they’re stupidly talented on accident (well in one case) and that pisses him off.

Yamaguchi: This poor boy is so nervous like all the time. He follows Tsukkishima around like a kicked puppy because he’s the only person this poor boy can truly trust. (Some really bad shit went down in his life, he needs a hug). Yam’s, though nervous, has pretty amazing aim with a gun he’s just so shaky that he can be off. He would be a fantastic sniper for the group, and Ukai pushes his training hard because he knows he can do it, he just has to be a little bit more confident. That’s easier said than done with Yamaguchi.

Kageyama: He used to work under the Seijoh house, but was cast out for being too difficult to work with (plus the new leader hated him *cough*Oikawa*cough*). He wasn’t exactly too keen on working with any other houses, but he ran into Daichi who made Karasuno seem so enticing that couldn’t resist it. Only when he got there, he found one of the kids he fought and beat while working under Seijoh was there. The little squirt whom he hated so much after he dared to challenge him with a face beaten to a bloody bruised mess. He was supposed to work alongside this guy. Bullshit. Once they get over their initial dumbassery and fighting, they’re probably the scariest tag team in Karasuno. Fast and unpredictable, building off each others intense energy to beat the ever living fuck out of whoever they’re against. Kageyama alone is scary too, he’s calculating and strong and fast - he knows his enemy better than they do sometimes. He’s also scarily calm even after he’s killed an army of grunts.

Hinata: He’s new to the whole thing, well kind of. He grew up watching all this go down from outside his window, trying his best to keep his mom and sister safe from all this horrifying carnage as best her can with his small untrained body. His first real experience with the whole mafia world was when he and a few of his friends were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and had a run in with Seijoh. He and his friends were nearly beaten to death, but were kindly spared as a warning. Still he found the strength to stand and promise to their leader that he would beat his ass right back when he finally faced off with him again. So imagine his surprise when at his first official house, he realized he would have to work with the guy who he both challenged and was nearly killed by. He’s a rookie for sure, everything he does is clumsy and sloppy and needs work, but he’s fast. He works on instinct that gets him in and out of trouble. He’s a real risk factor, but he’s also one of their strongest contenders.

Kiyoko & Yachi: They were both children of businessmen who tended to deal with less than favorable people. Kiyoko joined first after gaining permission to do so from her parents, and became the first person to work for intel at Karasuno. Yachi joined shortly after Hinata and Kageyama, only doing so after Kiyoko expressed her affections for the household and how she could really use the extra help. Their job is purely to gather information on other houses, clients, and potential job opportunities. They help everything flow smoothly between the heads of the house and the boys who do all the work.

A/N: This is less of a head cannon thing and more of my messy ramblings on something that I got too passionate about. I really hope that this was like… okay? It’s really really messy, but this is kinda what I imagined this would be like. I hope that like… you liked this, and that all their things made sense. Idk man I’m tired. (Also, hope you don’t mind I excluded the other boys ;-; I was getting sleepy)

[yoolee]

IF LEE WROTE OTOME #11 | THE BACHE-LORE

Premise: A seer-turned-private investigator goes undercover on a supernatural reality tv dating show to solve a crime! Featuring love interests:

The (lady vampire) producer: shades of devil wears prada

Fellow contestant (faerie): Childhood rival and tricky, tricky troublemaker

Fellow contestant (fallen star): In love with love, basically an alien

Fellow contestant (fire witch):  Troublemaker with a heart of gold (liquid, scalding gold)

Onset medic (trickster spirit): a supposedly reformed descendant of Lady Luck

Assistant (kelpie): Scottish sweetheart, earnest but a little unrestrained

HEROINE: All the prophecies suggested the same thing--that the first child borne of the thirteenth generation of the heoine’s line would be a seer more powerful than any that came before. Well she is, but there's a catch--she can only See the past and the present. Great for detective work, not ideal for fortune telling (although as the saying goes, history DOES repeat itself). Works as a private investigator for the supernatural, she may be a disappointment to her family, but she keeps her clients happy. Even if it means going undercover on a reality tv dating show…Has the power to see the past and present in absolute clarity, but can't always control that power. Has a little bit of ex gifted child syndrome - where all the weighty expectations placed on her as a kid of how great she was going to be make her a sometimes paralyzed by perfectionism adult who struggles to enjoy doing things she isn't immediately good at. Perennially nervous unless she's in action. Uses snark as a defense mechanism. Has both an acute fear of failure and a gritty determination to put herself in positions where it's an option so that she can overcome that fear because she's pretty self-aware. Detail oriented and organized. Relaxes with lists and color coded spreadsheets with pivot tables. Loves old fashioned board games learned the hard way you can't live in your past. 

THE (lady vampire) PRODUCER: ancient, powerful, and totally sadistic in the sense that schadenfreude is her bread and butter (or blood and butter, if you will). Has an absolutely vicious sense of humor. Will not be shamed by societal niceties and if you try she might eat you. Had a child when she was still alive whose descendants became vampire hunters, so, that's a thing (She finds it charming and is very proud). Glamorous, successful, and makes it look effortless, but she's tough as steel and works like hell. Little bit of a devil wears Prada vibe. Has a very disturbingly spot-on understanding of the average human psyche and milks it for entertainment value. Soft spoken--but everyone listens. 

THE (faerie) CHILDHOOD RIVAL: a faerie who (supposedly) loathes the heroine on principle because her ability to See things makes her difficult to trick. Mischievous, but with a bit of a mean edge to it. Longtime rival. One of those people who is very, very smart but tends to vapid and fluttery, as she prefers to be underestimated. Pretty constantly uses magic (glamours, mesmerizing, super strength). Literally incapable of breaking a promise, so avoids making them. Wild and fun and unfettered. Definition party girl. Magician’s assistant.

THE (trickster spirit) ON SET MEDIC: coworker of the cousin. A (mostly) reformed trickster spirit (descendant of Lady Luck) who was forced to reckon with the chaos he sowed and is trying to make up for it now by taking care of people instead of screwing them over, but old habits and a chaotic nature make it hard to toe the line (especially on a set so ripe for drama). Foster dad to two werewolf siblings (all tied to aforementioned reckoning). Bundle of contradiction. Gets along swimmingly with the childhood rival. Reality-warper, but it’s sneaky (coincidences).

The (kelpie) ASSISTANT: Sent to keep an eye on the heroine by her selkie grandmother. Earnest, often friendly, prefers to dive in and figure it out as he goes. Plenty smart, just not a big fan of overthinking. A little wild. A sweetheart, but also has zero restraint. Unironically an underwear model.

The (fire witch) TROUBLEMAKER: Child of a nature elemental and a witch, which makes her powers a bit unstable. She doesn’t mean to cause trouble. It’s really more that she’s been labeled that her whole life and is presently embracing it. Has a wicked temper, but is really more bark than bite. Feels everything a little too strongly. Thought this was more of an Astounding Race reality show than a dating one. Fiery, though she resents the stereotype. Surprisingly detail oriented and an unabashed nerd, but not above solving her problems by setting them on fire. Mechanical engineer. 

The (fallen star) ROMANTIC: Fellow contestant, genuinely and unironically on the show to find love. Most romantic sap you will ever meet. Loves love. A sweet and optimistic soul. Has spent a very, very long time watching and desperate to experience. It makes her very impatient, and at times wilfully blind to things. Grants wishes, glows in the dark. Sometimes thinks people are super weird. Customer support specialist.

SUPPORTING CAST:

The cameraperson: actual incubus/succubus. Pretty standup person. Doesn't use their powers without explicit consent.

The bachelor: I guess he should probably be a love interest huh. Maybe he's the client? Or child of the client. IDK I’ll figure him out later. He’s around. 

Hotel manager: Kraken, ex-pirate, robs rich people in the desert now because that’s funny.

Cousin: younger than the heroine by two days. He was due (literally) to be the firstborn of the thirteenth generation, but the heroine was born three weeks prematurely. His parents have remained endlessly bitter about this. Some days, he is too, but most days he's glad to have the attention off and they’re black sheep together. A bit fickle in his moods, if it's not life or death he may or may not help, but if is he’ll close ranks and fight like hell. Technically a seer, but not a very strong one. Firefighter, and subsequently underpaid and overworked and tired AF literally all the time. Probably ends up hooking up with the bachelor in the end. 

Grandmothers: her dad’s mother is a selkie from Scotland who is a big believer in fucking off for a three year swim in the ocean when your loved ones are being dumbasses, and her mother’s mother is a seamstress from Korea who taught her the importance of small details and how to notice them. Both of them are staunchly and ferociously on her side, and a haven of support in a family where there is a lot of squabbling over who she is versus who she's supposed to be. Selkie grandma doesn't understand why heroine won't just find a nice fisherman and walk up to him in seaweed and a birthday suit to seal the deal, and seamstress grandma enjoys the heck out of reality tv and has a list of tips for how not to get turned into the villain when she's on air

[tartagilicious]

games/routes i’ve played + my favourites

..to be updated

*send me recommendations if you’d like!

(if i give a game a bad rating, it’s just my opinion. you don’t have to agree with me)

MysticMessenger :

routes: Zen, Yoosung, 707, and Jumin Han

my favourite: definitely Jumin Han! he’s more of an unpopular choice, and I see why, but, I love him. his story was borderline obsessive at some points, and im not going to try and defend his weird behaviour, but there was a reason for it. he got everything he wanted as a kid expect for the love of another person, which is why he treasured Elisabeth the 3rd so much, because in a way, she was the only one there for him. but, then after he gets close to the mc, and then Elisabeth goes missing, he sees the mc as the same type of warmth. he definitely could’ve been more casual about his approaches, and less weird about everything, but I see where it’s coming from. the boy’s got some trauma. and, I mean, the mc is kind and stays with him, understands him, and he opens up to her and falls in love with her. I don’t think it’s entirely unrealistic for an otome game. his character development was great. but, enough of Jumin. this is a really well thought out game. the storyline is impeccable, and the characters are all diverse enough that it’s usually not that much trouble picking one guy/girl over the other. but, this game is really heavily dependent on the emotional labour aspects of the boys, which I don’t like. if you want someone’s route, you had to constantly be excited for them and constantly support them and no one else. a prime example being zen’s route, which is still a great route from experience, but there’s too much flattery in the initial stages, if you ask me. also, I don’t have the energy to get up at 3am for a chatroom, sorry Jaehee.

my rating: 7 or 8/10

The Arcana :

routes: asra, julian, and nadia (portia, lucio, and muriel are current)

my favourite: Asra! this magician and his snake familiar got my attention pretty fast, and his heartbreaking past with the mc just sealed the deal for me. his route is so romantic and touching, but has a lot of action. it was honestly perfect. the devs did a great job with the writing of the game, and the storyline is, again, impeccable. I honestly cried when I found out about Asra’s history with the apprentice, and lemme tell you that is a DIFFERENT type of pain. 

my rating: 10/10

+Lost Island :

route: ryo tsuzuki

my favourite: none. ryo was definitely eye candy and a perfect guy, but he was the only route I played, and frankly, was the last. the only good things about this game were the action scenes, which were admittedly heart-wrenching since the game took place on a zombie infested island. But otherwise I hate this game with a burning passion, and will frankly be seeing it down in Dante’s inferno, in the depths of hell with every other shall we date game. It was my first otome game, I found it when I was 11 - just out of the womb lmao - and I was so entranced that I ended up spending sixty Fucking dollars on this game!!! I regret it deeply to this day, because the game was horrible. it moved so fast, it was pretty predictable (and I spent the sixty dollars to move it along even though when I look back at it the game exposed itself so many times??) it was so weird. after we cured the strange virus that his ‘missing’ sociopath scientist father created with an antidote hidden in Ryo’s blood and left the zombie infested island, he proposed to me in a bush! a bush! he popped the question in a bush, beat that level of romance ladies and gentlemen. and, I know now that I type it out it some points sound like a pretty good plot, but trust me, don’t let that fool you. I will argue with you about this until my death. and not to mention this bitch was a horny little shit in the middle of what the characters thought was the zombie apocalypse. all in all this game is the bane of my existence, thank you (I’m sorry this is so dramatic lmao)

my rating: -100000/10

Dangerous fellows :

routes: Zion, Harry, Eugene, Ethan, and Lawrence

my favourite: Zion! omg what a cutie, still highkey owns my heart. he’s your run of the mill rich kid that eventually rebelled, but his sense of humour and toughness is what won me over. His heartfelt promises and uncharacteristic seriousness in the face of danger were my favourite parts. he’s so adorable and owns all my uwus. I’d fight someone for this boy. this was the game the birthed this account a couple of months ago, and I still love it. 

my rating: 10/10

Lost Alice :

route: Owen Chester

my favourite: I know this technically doesn’t really count, but I did like the joker! I never played his route, and he wasn’t involved in Owen’s route much, but what little I saw of him was great.  He was joking, vague, and helped Alice out a lot as a guide in the very beginning. if I had the courage to even download this godforsaken game again I’d definitely go for him! as for Owen’s route, I honestly didn’t like it at all. all of these games have a timeline, and the end point is always the main characters fucking. like?? not the thing where you randomly travel back and forwards in time? no, just both living in her world and ignoring it, because, me and bae are official now and that’s all that matters 🤪 plus, classically, he was like the formal king trying to seduce her for funsies and then accidentally falling for her. 

my rating: 0/10

Modern Cinderella :

route: Rudolf Oak

my favourite: ..I didn’t really have one. I’m sorry this was a shall we date game, need I say more? the ’stoic’ restaurant owner that ’never opens up to people’ saw me stand up for myself literally once and suddenly his entire worldview of me has changed, and surprise surprise, he wants to date me. This was one of the worst ones I’ve ever played. I really had no favourite, except maybe for the guy that let me stay in his apartment in the beginning of the game and gave me food after he found me in the rain 🤧

my rating: 0/10

Ikemen Sengoku :

route: Hideyoshi, Yukimura, Nobunaga, Sasuke, Shingen, Masamune, Kenshin (mitsunari is current)

my favourite: yukimuraaa, yukimuraa, that bean. i can’t explain very well it but I love him :((. i really loved Mitsuhide, but I liked masamune too! I love masamune’s attitude atowards the mc, and his nickname and nonchalance around her (in sasuke’s route where he hesitated on killing him just because the mc yelled ‘stop!’ out of fear?? 🤧🤧), and I also love mitsuhide’s slightly threatening but caring personality, and that he’s deadly smart! you can’t hide anything from that man lol. Plus the mc describes him as a a good person even in hideyoshi’s route, which I respect. (ugh the devs knew he would be too powerful with a route) but, I didn’t like that after you finish a route, your intimacy is completely reset. like :(( it disheartens me in playing a little because it takes days to build up grace, and im not about to go scouring on those offer pages, because i’m not willing to put myself through that again after dangerous fellows. the formatting is a little wack too, but it’s still nice and something to look past, since the game is pretty great otherwise, and it’s a little older. I love almost all of the characters, (the ones I don’t are for personal reasons, not because they’re bad characters or anything) and I don’t think its cringey at all! it’s honestly a great game altogether. 

my rating: 9/10

Ikemen Revolution:

routes: fenrir, edgar, ray, kyle, sirius, lancelot, luka, jonah, loki, and zero (all, idk if I forgot one lol)

my favourite: every time I see edgar my heart goes boom!! I started playing his route literally like a week ago and god, this boy deserves the world. I love his gentlemanly personality and his habit of joking around and giving vague statements or warnings when in reality, he’s very sweet and kind. you’ll never know what he’s thinking, and I love that I constantly have the chance to surprise him when no one else ever does. though, I really love my boy Kyle at the same time. he’s a real one 😤 I really like how the devs handled the Alice in wonderland concept! I’ve seen that go wrong a few times, so this was refreshing. again, with the ikemen games, they’re never really fast paced or cringey in the way some other games are. it takes the mc usually at least 13 chapters to even admit to themselves that they’re crushing on the guy, which I like. it’s more realistic then, say, the nightmare harlem (see other review). also the plot design, the character depth, uGh, as a writer, don’t even get me STARTED. it’s all amazing. and!! the intimacy doesn’t reset, so I can basically just blaze through all of the intimacy checks right away. The only thing I maybe don’t like about this game is about how long it takes to complete one route. it may take you a shorter amount of time to pay, but I always play free

my rating: 9 or 10/10

Mystic Code:

routes: cold case, lost case, happy ending: case closed, wrong suspect (2), true ending

my favourite: this technically isn’t an otome game. I admittedly didn’t really like this game as much as I liked dangerous fellows, but it was still really good! I just thought dangerous fellows’s story was a little better, and there’s obviously the added bonus of being able to romance any of the main characters. You couldn’t romance any of the characters in mystic code, and while the story made up for that a lot, I was still a little disappointed. Plus, romancing the characters could‘ve really made for a more complex storyline.. 👀 I won’t give any spoilers,, but the story really did make up for it for the most part. but, I guarantee you that if you could play routes, I’d choose eliot. he’s got that confident and playful but serious and smart personality I fall into every time, and I would’ve liked to get a chance to see more sides to that.

my rating: 8/10

Love and Producer (Mr Love: Queen’s Choice):

routes: — 

my favourite: ohoho do I have a story about this one. i was going through pinterest one day a few weeks ago when I came across this picture. and idk, something about it had me starstruck, so I looked for what the image was from and found out that it was from a chinese otome game! at the time, I didn’t know that there was an english version out, so I was really disappointed when I found out I couldn’t play it. but!! through a dangerous fellows account I follow on instagram, I downloaded this game by chance and realised it was the same game under a different name. now, I was completely right to be starstruck, because I love Gavin, he’s amazing! He and the mc were classmates in high school, and they have this ~thing~ that happened in the past that’s vaguely talked about, which is a moment with the wind and ginkgo leaves (which is super nice and romantic af, since he has a wind evol) and I think there’s other parts, but I won’t give away any more spoilers that aren’t obvious and/or easily accessible. the only thing I maybe have wrong with this games that the cliffhangers it can leave you off on before it tells you to level up more are emotionally shattering, and the karma levels/movie shootings are a little annoying, but they’re easily fixable and easy to pass if you snoop around the game a little and figure out how it works. I also really like how though there are no technical routes, each “romance” with the other the guys is completely plausible and any could be endgame easily.

(+ damn, Gavin’s one main line ‘as long as you’re in the wind, I’ll find you.’ is really nice and romantic to me also, since there’s another line from a book I love that’s “I’ll be your map. Where you go, I go.” but idk maybe i’m just biased)

my rating: 9/10

The Princess Closet:

route: reo

my favourite: honestly, I hated this game, so I didn’t really have a favourite. It sounds dramatic, but it’s really true. I was snooping through the App Store one night around midnight looking for a new otome game, and I stumbled upon this one with pretty great reviews. So I, the otome hoe that I am, was like ‘okay fuck it’ and downloaded it. Basically, the game’s storyline is this guy comes up to you and is like ‘you’re my princess, I finally found you’ and the mc is like ‘wtf are you talking about’ but is flattered and sorta curious so she goes back to his studio where she agrees to become a model. like?? girl what?? he could’ve taken you into a back alley and killed you, but she didn’t care. then, in the first chapter, she does her first modelling job then the main guy (reo, also the fashion designer) comes up to her, basically pins her against the wall and is like ‘I knew you were perfect, but I didn’t imagine this. Now, since I always get what I want, I’ll have to make you mine because I’ve taken interest in you.” like,, okay bro. I deleted the app after that. if you like that kind of stuff, that’s fine, but it seems too outright and cringe to me. plus, this isn’t really relevant but I didn’t really like the formatting.

my rating: 0/10

Ikemen Vampire:

route: Napoleon, Arthur, Leonardo, Mozart, Vincent (double clear for both Arthur and Napoleon!)

my favourite: oh my god, this game finally came out with an English version and I’m so excited! I barely knew anything about this game before this morning, but it’s seriously good. I was sceptical in downloading it at first though, because vampire related things usually come out in a fashion similar to something like diabolik lovers, but this blew my expectations out of the water. the writing is amazing, and had me literally stopping between moments and being all nerdy about it. plus, all of the characters are based on real people of history, and I like that part. It’s a really cool idea. but the best part!! all of the characters are more or less like normal people. I’m not sure if that exactly makes sense, but it’s relief to me. I’m also really thrilled about some of the stories in the game. like, bonaparte is a half vampire?? nice, I wanna know more! you have to be da vinci’s fake lover?? coolio. but, I’m kinda bummed that there aren’t more routes out. Issac Newton, Napoleon Bonaparte, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Theodorus Van Gogh are definitely my favourites,(Theo is best boy 😤✊🏻) and I would’ve liked to play other routes too, but that’s totally good, because games are hard work. 

my rating: 10/10

THE NIFLHEIM+:

route: Leo

my favourite: I gotta say, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. And that’s surprising, since this is a shall we date game. The storyline was pretty good, sorta like sleeping beauty with a twist, and while it was really cringey at some parts, it wasn’t too overbearing in my opinion. There’s a variety of characters to romance, and while they all have pretty stereotypical personalities in some way, it was still somewhat enjoyable to play. Though, I didn’t finish the game because I didn’t like the route I was playing, the way it was set up or the ticket system was kinda weird (one every 4 hours. you could log in once every month and it would say ‘welcome to your fourth day!’ even if it’s been four months in reality) if I did another route, though, it would probably be Nick, because his route seemed fun from the preview. 

my rating: 3 or 4/10

Nightmare Harlem:

route: oswald

my favourite: honestly, my favourite was still Oswald. (though it’s a close second to Lucas, who never entered the room in any way other than the window) he was a sweet bean and didn’t deserve any of the shit any of the other suitors gave him. now that I think about it, the plot is creepily similar to ikemen vampire’s. the mc is walking home one night when a portal opens up under a red moon that takes her to a mansion full of vampires! but, maybe that’s just an overused plot. this is from the same company as princess closet, but I think it’s a little better. don’t get me wrong, though, it was still cringe to the max. the mc insisted on helping with work around the mansion exchange for letting her stay there until that portal opened again (hello ikemen??) and the main guy was like ‘pfft sure’ and that’s where she met oswald, the gardener.  but, the main thing that turned me off of this game was how fast the romance came. she spent a day outside with him, talking about whatever, then decided she liked the time she was with him and was disheartened when he had to leave. you know, totally not like any kind of normal friendly relationship at all. and after that she was like ‘oh shit what’s this feeling in my chest’ when she saw him at dinner. like, I get the quick crush thing but she’s all like “am I falling in love??/?” and to make it BETTER the next day he’s like ‘oh shit what’s this feeling in my chest’ after, again, spending a day with her and doing nothing more but exchanging smiles otherwise. and the other guys are in on it instantly too! one of them even tries to set them up! and I just- I couldn’t take it seriously after a while.

my rating: 3/10

Ayakashi: romance reborn:

route: Koga

my favourite: honestly, how to choose?? At first, I really liked Ginnojo and Toichiro, but after playing for a bit, Koga and his stupid dice swept me off my feet. I’m only at chapter 20 since I started playing a few days ago, but I can already tell that koga is very friendly and jokes around a lot, and the moment she ever has a problem he’s there to help her. he’s an oni ogre ayakashi, and I also think that’s super cool tbh. the game itself is sort of like mr love queen’s choice in the way that you get cards and have to level them up and that corresponds to how well you do in the game, but there are more romance aspects to this game than mlqc. after you finish book one (comprised of 50 chapters) it branches off into the 4 routes that are available to play. (Koga the oni ogre ayakashi, Kuya the tengu ayakashi, Ginnojo the Mizuchi dragon ayakashi, and Aoi the satori seer) I think it’s a really interesting and fun game, but I don’t like that the only way you can get keys to play the main chapters is through patrols, which can get repetitive, especially when you can only play the same 5 or so locations before the lp cost is more. 

my rating: 9/10

Honey Magazine:

game/route: wanted: son in law // taiga takajo

my favourite: I should really change this label ^^. Honey magasine is an otome app that’s comprised of many stories that you can play at once. honestly, I didn’t have high hopes for this one based on the look of it, but I was pleasantly surprised. I am super super super super picky when it comes to otome games, but this one genuinely could’ve been worse. in the story I played, a journalist was invited to her billionaire grandfather’s estate to pick out a fiancé, but that was unbeknownst to her, seeing as this was the first time she’d talked to her grandfather since she was 5 years old. she went through the whole night meeting these different guys before she had to choose one the next day. I didn’t like this part because I probably got one interaction with each character max, and really didn’t get to go very deep into any of them. in the end, I chose Taiga, the heir to a fortune and the CEO of his own company at the ripe age of his early 20-somethings. honestly I only picked him because he kinda looks like Yuta from nct and since I didn’t really like any of the others, I had nothing to lose lol. He’s emotionless and very cold but subtly caring, and this drives the mc crazy as he claims that he’ll just parade around with her if he needs to and act in front of other people. she promises that she’ll make him fall in love with her, and well, the rest is history. I won’t get into his route much, but, I think it’s about what you would expect from a situation like this, not that it would ever happen. it’s not terrible, and I think that if someone had paid a little more attention to it it could’ve been great, not just okay.

my rating: 4/10

Twilight School:

route: Wade

my favourite: this game was actually recommended to me by a follower, and honestly, I do really like it. but, it’s a good thing that I liked Wade, because I’m not the biggest fan of either Rylan or Hogan. I’ve never liked the idea of werewolves, and Rylan is just the epitome of twilight meets vampire diaries to me. (even though neither of them really have to do with werewolves lol) and, hogan, idk. he’s got a nice personality, but I’m not really interested in him beyond that. Wade reminds me of Eugene, to be honest. that’s not why I like him, but I just thought I should get the observation out there. what I don’t like about this game is the gem system. yes, I wanted to kiss wade’s hand when he was sitting next to me after I woke up from being sick, but could I?? no. and I’m still disappointed about it, thank you very much. I also don’t really like the scene where they all fight over her in front of her. like, uh, can I get a waffle?? can I PLEASE get a waffle? but overall yes! it’s a very good game and I love the storyline and mystery. 

Samurai Love Ballad Party:

route: yukimura sanada

my favourite: (i keep mixing up the name smh) is every yukimura character an absolute sweetheart?? because it sure seems like it. I found out about this game though a discord server I’m in, and honestly, from the looks of it, my expectations were low. Format is a big part of an otome game, and this one is obviously old, and that kind of dimmed my likeness a bit. But, the story is really fun. Kinda cringey, but still fun. I had no idea it was also in the sengoku era, so that was a fun surprise. I played the prologue laughing and joking around the entire time, and it was honestly really fun. i knew I liked yukimura from the moment he appeared, and chose his route immediately when I could. One thing though, this doesn’t bother me, I just think it’s kinda funny, is that the choices you make actually determine a good or bad ending rather than the romantic or dramatic I’m used to. So, seeing that ‘you could’ve chosen better...’ message after a chapter is always refreshing lol. (I get those a lot because I literally have 2 brain cells 🗿)

overall rating: 6/10

Obey me!:

route: — 

favourites: THIS IS A SHALL WE DATE GAME?? it blows my mind, because I absolutely love this game but normally hate swd games (see lost island for reference lmao) the format is cute and modern and easy to navigate, but isn’t in your face bright and not too bland either. there’s a lot of options to go for, like the random calls and messages you get throughout the day plus the person you want to choose from majolish and display on the home screen has little things to say to you ever 15 seconds or so. the ap/stamina system is similar to ayakashi, so it was refreshing to already know how to deal with that, and I do like how while it goes fast, it doesn’t take much to regen. The actual story function is similar to that of mlqc, though, with the mission and then story part. There are no actual routes in the game as of right now, but the game is still being updated, so there might be in the future when the storyline is complete! I really hope there is, because I totally wanna do some of their routes like 😳 My favourite at first was Mammon, because from the get-go he’s the energetic dumbass that’s always by your side like fenrir and I just appreciated that, especially when I didn’t know any of the other characters yet. but then I actually got into the game more and while I still do like mammon, it’s a bit less and I do have some new favourites now. first off is Lucifer, who I really was neutral with most of the time (which shouldn’t have been the case considering he threatened/tried to kill the mc at least twice lmao) but yeah, sometime along the way I went from 😶😶😶 to 🥰🥰🥰 and that was that. Second is probably either Satan or Belphegor because they’re just both adorable and I like belphegor’s voice and sense of humour and satan’s love for books and considerate personality

favourite: Lucifer

—

CURRENTLY PLAYING: mr love queen’s choice, ikemen sengoku (mitsunari), obey me! 

[totallycorrectteentitansquotes]

no but imagine the teen titans + teen titans east + honorary titans playing spin the bottle

anarchy 

(minus of course: mas y menos, the Kiddos raven watched (apparently official honorary, who knew), and mayyyybe kole idk how old she is she could be seventeen or twelve tbfh so i’ll just,,, leave her out,,, just in case)

so that’s a lot of people . and since i’m Smart™, i’m going to literally put all these dudes into a spinner and just spin it a bunch of times, and see who i get, and write about it, which is gonna be interesting, bcos the show gives many the Honorary Titans 0 personality. s c i e n c e 

also this is fun so it’ll probs get long, i’ll tag the people Chosen, and if you want to see them, go for it, otherwise, scroll on duderinos

1. hot spot and lightning. im screeching this is already so much more wack than i could make on my own. 

lightning would probs do this because ~earthen games brother let’s do it~ and then is hype hype hype UP until the moment he actually has to do it. can actual lightning turn pink? the answer is yes. hot spot is much better at feigning nonchalance, is internally screaming, but also, who can say they kissed nature? nobody, that’s who. it’s also lightning’s first kiss. they do it once when hot spot isn’t on fire, then someone (speedy) says he bet lightning wouldn’t do it if hot spot WAS on fire, so then they have to do it again just to prove speedy wrong. kissing lightning , hot spot claims, is weird bc lightning has no experience but there’s these little shocks that feel just so weird but good

2. Beast Boy and Speedy. oh my fuCKign goD

they would groan. loudly. and a lot. obnoxiously. “ughhhgHGHGH WHY’D IT HAVE TO BE YOU. I WOULD RATHER KISS MY OWN FOOT.” beast boy asks if he can do it as an animal (licking as kissing). the answer is no. they kiss, beast boy wipes his mouth dramatically, speedy spits. it’s not that bad, but they like the attention, obviously. bb says “be glad i didn’t cut ur mouth with my FANGS” and speedy’s like “calm down furry”. then everyone gets on speedy because he kissed the furry and he really regrets his life choices

3. Herald and Aqualad. hghkhghkfhkhkfhk

(fun fact, herald has Two Whole Sentences in personality in the wiki. therefore i am legally allowed to make up a personality for him thank you)

Herald has an initial jump at being Chosen by the Bottle but he mellows out p quick. also a little nervous about kissing some of them but aqualad’s not that bad. they have the same color scheme. it’s chill. aqualad has a whole facade that fools literally no one but herald kisses him without much fanfare. makes a joke about an underwater kiss being more romantic and speedy laughs so hard he falls over, even though it wasn’t that funny, which makes aqualad’s expression sour. but he can’t even get made at herald who’s laughing a little and is just a genuine human being, and also being mad at speedy is easy

4. Thunder and Kid Flash. cuuUUUTE

thunder i can see being all gentle giant and kid flash is so endeared by him, laughing and cracking jokes. theyre just . happy people and thunder is nervous and doesn’t want to hurt him and it’s just very pure all around. kid flash initiates it and just beams afterwards, proclaiming the two of them bros. he sits next to thunder for the rest of the night, poking him and talking to him, and thunder warms up to him and gets less nervous

5. Raven and Herald . oooh an entire canon interaction

raven wouldn’t be super hype about kissing anyone but if she chose to kiss someone it would be starfire or herald so she’s good. herald is just as laid back as ever and their kiss is the quietest yet. super chaste, basically a friend kiss (europeans do that some places, right?) honestly them together makes me happy, just two people who can bond over music and tea. everyone is disappointed at how calm it is, not dramatic at all, but it’s just like their personalities so. yes. love them. 

6. Jinx and Speedy. SCREECHES

okokokokok speedy would probably pale bcos kissing,,, jinx,,, isn’t that just INVITING bad luck,,, and jinx is lowky miffed bcos the one time the bottle lands on her it’s speedy she’s kissing,,, not even starfire,,, not hot spot,, not KF,,, disappointment. they kiss and they’ll literally never admit it but it was p nice. even if speedy’s hair poofed up in response to her magic lmaoo

7. Jericho and Jinx

jinx knows exactly zero (0) about jericho but they have j names so like, ,, bros. jinx knows asl which Everyone learns at that moment (does jinx have a sister?? she does now. im making one. she has a younger sister who’s supes sweet also deaf and is living with some good yet elderly people). jericho is delighted and their kiss is actually super sweet. absolutely nothing bad happens to jericho, speedy is quaking 

8. Starfire and Aqualad 

im. im kindof at a loss. they’re both confused at these earthen/surface people customs. starfire’s all for kissing, she doesn’t care, aqualad kinda goes “well there’s worse people to kiss”. and after they kiss starfire just Lights Up and starts talking to him in atlantean. he’s shocked and everyone who didnt already know learn that starfire Learns Languages via kissing

9. Kid Flash and Robin. SOME GOOD OL’ BIRDFLASH

they’ve absolutely kissed before don’t @ me. they crack tons of jokes, roll their eyes a bunch, everyone hypes em up. all around good feels of making fun of friends with the assurance that they won’t take any of it harshly. robin’s like, yo, go big or go home, let’s do a spiderman kiss, and kf goes UM HELL YES?? so of course they do the spiderman kiss and it’s so funny because they’re comfy with each other and everyone is just Laughing . good times

10 (finale). Starfire and Jericho aw cuuuuute

jericho is v quiet but she loves him a whole lot. he loves her too bc she’s just so sunshiney and has bright energetic emotions. their kiss is also v chaste and calming, nobody rlly hoots or hollers it’s just soft n happy yknow?? everyone loves them. the ppl who know jericho closely know he’s so much more than the quiet dude lol but they like him a lot anyway so ?? we stan

[dredshirtroberts]

So I’m running off of like...6 hours of sleep for 48 hours. I’m doing real well.

I’ve got some shit to unpack here so like...hang in there.

Friend of mine introduced me to V-pop tonight and I’m obsessed. So like...be aware of that in case I start posting pretty vietnamese boys all over the place. Blame my friend, it’s his fault.

I’ve decided that this is going to end up a lot like my anime obsession where I end up learning bits and pieces of a language so I can better enjoy the media i’m consuming. So I’ve picked vietnamese because that’s super easy.

I’m so smart.

Anyway we ended up on the topic because I think he was trying to distract me from being a fucking mess and crying all over the place because i finally went through my social media and removed almost all my pictures of my time with the ex and put them on a backup drive.

The images i saved were 95% cat pictures. 

It’s hard to look at them. I miss them a fucking lot and I don’t think I realized how much this really and truly has broken my heart. Not only have I lost my children but I’m never allowed to see them again and I didn’t do anything to deserve that. And it fucking sucks. 

I’m being punished in the worst way possible. Like...it would have been easier if they were dead and that’s a horrible thought. because it’s so fucking painful that I can’t even see them ever again. Not on facebook, not on instagram, i don’t get updates, no one is letting me know how they are, i can’t go and see them or anything. 

If his goal was to break me inside, mission fucking accomplished. I was already fragile thanks to all the shit he put me through, this was uncalled for and unnecessary and I’m a fucking wreck emotionally over it. And I’m not addressing that because it hurts and I don’t want to hurt. 

It would be a lot easier if people understood how much it fucking tears me up inside to talk about the boys, to see people happy with their fur babies, to know I’m never going to see those furry little faces or their particular toebeans ever again. like. fucking sucks, man. 

fuck I thought I was done with tears, welp....alright then.

Among the cat pictures were a lot of memories from when things were good. Because it wasn’t all shite all the time. If it had been I wouldn’t have stuck around. And I’m so FUCKING angry that I’ve gone through all of this. I want to blame him completely for all of it, and maybe I should. But I won’t because I feel partially responsible for it all too.

IDK if that’s healthy or true or not. It’s just kinda where I am with it all. 

My date thursday night stayed over and yesterday morning he and I were out in front of my apartment and we were talking about family animals, he’d brought up the boys the night before and I gave him the cliffs notes of the situation, and one of my neighbor’s dog decided i was her new favorite person which was sweet. Date teased me saying I’d now want a dog, or a new cat or something and I get where he’s coming from but like...that’s where the statement from before comes up. I wish people could just...inherently understand how much that thought hurts. I can’t replace my babies. I can have a new baby, one day. I can love other peoples’ babies. but it’s never going to be *my boys*. And that’s hard to explain. 

I literally lost my children and I do not ever want to hear any of you telling any mother that it’s something she can get over because that’s not fucking true. I’m having a hard enough time with my boys and they were cats. Not to say that I loved them less than a human child, but i did not birth those babies. They were placed in my care as an adopted mommy and I did my fucking best. It’s not my fucking fault. It’s not my fault and I shouldn’t have to be punished because I value my safety and my happiness over trying to save a relationship that should have ended before we even got the boys. 

It’s not my fault. 

okay...okay i’m moving on because i’m angry and I can’t do this right now.

positive things. we’ll try talking about my forays into the dating world again.

I’m probably out in society again too early but I cannot stand being single and not taking advantage of my ability to see all my options out there. I tried that and I was bored and depressed. I require social interaction to survive because apparently I’m an extrovert and I had no idea. So i’ve been talking to a few guys and have gone on dates. Thursday date was a new contender on the field. Hes hella pretty, little dumb, very privileged and there are some flashes of red that might be flags coming up but like...it was the first time we’d met in person? we were both on first date best behavior trying to sell our personalities to one another. He was relatively respectful which was nice. He’s not looking for serious and that’s super nice. 

Then there’s the good conversationalist I was speaking to previously and he’s still very nice but I think...he’s more domestic than I’m looking for right now. Does that even make sense? He’s definitely long-term relationship material but I do NOT want an LTR. not now, possibly not ever. He’s super sweet but I just...i’d rather just be his friend, and not ever anything more than that. 

Thursday date was more along the type I usually go for - kind of an asshole, kinda dumb in a almost smart way, and as a new added bonus he’s also conventionally attractive which is a change. I have very low standards for physical attractiveness, and it shows lol. 

idk

I’ve got a date set up with another new guy this evening after i’m done hanging out with my mom and sister. I haven’t had a lot of conversation with him, but like...that’s kind of the point of the date i guess. 

A lot of the reason I’m even back out in the dating scene is because there is a lot of safety and security in the idea of a relationship. Especially since I tend to lean towards wanting to be taken care of. Being provided for is a huuuge thing for me and I just...I know that’s a lot of what drives my interest in certain guys. That’s why Thursdate was actually a break from the norm. The fact that the most he could possibly want from me right now is a FWB situation and he’s openly dating around too, that’s refreshing and super pressure-free. I tend to attract either complete dickheads or people who want to have someone come in as a surrogate mother. I picked a real winner with my ex and got both at once so that was...an experience. I’m trying to stay safe, trying to keep my distance and look at things objectively while also keeping an open mind that you really cannot predict when shit’s gonna just click. 

That’s part of the problem with conversationalist. We click really well but I have...no interest in him outside of being a friend. oh damn...i don’t want anything from him but friendship. Nothing wrong with that, but I literally just put that together properly and realized what it was that was feeling weird with him lol. I’m so smart. 

The major problem is that a lot of guys my age, and in the age bracket i’m looking for potential partners in, are looking for long term relationships. They want a settle-down partner. I’m...not a settle down partner right now. I’m a lets go on dates and have fun and be friendly and maybe we have sex but that’s like not the point?? because right now it’s just getting me out of the house. Plus it’s free dinner most of the time and that’s super nice. Plus sides to presenting as female and dating cishet dudes, they think they’re supposed to pay for everything so i get to eat and drink on someone elses’ dollar. 

also it’s extremely difficult to find potential partners who don’t have kids or who don’t want kids at all. i have zero interest in doing the pregnancy baby thing. I don’t even think i’d adopt, but none of it is on the table. And dudes all want to eventually have kids. it’s so weird. idk that’s more of an observation than anythign else. i just think it’s weird.

anyway...idk where i’m going with any of this. mostly this is just a thoughts-ramble and i’ve successfully calmed down from the angry-sads I was having earlier. I’ll freak out some more later I’m sure but until then I’ll probably just...social media until 9 or so.

hope y’all have a good saturday.

[taeilm]

potc!au | nct

drink up, me ‘earties (never shall we die)

3 ships, 3 crews, 18 boys sailing the vast atlantic

warning lowkey dark bc potc

TAEYONG: Captain of La Vipère

loves the sea more than anything

has probably sailed more waters than any other pirate (he does own the fastest ship out there)

fears neither death nor life

but has a gentle heart so therefore...too many weaknesses

cares about his crew a lot, especially jaehyun

brilliant swordsman; one of world’s best

it’s mesmerizing to watch him amidst battle bc he fights like he’s dancing

confident & courageous & will face anything head-on

charismatic; ppl are naturally drawn to him

ten’s nemesis; their vendetta against each other is never-ending (though neither is sure how it started)

romantically unavailable bc he’ll only ever be in love with that distant horizon and boundless sea

SICHENG: Quartermaster of La Vipère

taeyong’s most trusted right-hand man

aloof, mysterious; no one rly knows why he’s here or what he wants

ex-british royal navy commander but he left all that behind for the uncharted sea, bc taeyong somehow convinced him

pretty boy

his beauty is literally deadly bc ppl let their guard down around him then lose their lives for it

terrific fighter

doesn’t talk much

can be very cruel if needed (to enemies & crew alike)

extremely disciplined but slowly trying to unravel the navy orderliness that has defined most of his life

TAEIL: Boatswain of La Vipère

loves the ship more than his crew

carefully maintains her so she’s always running at 100%

will probably go down with the ship if she ever sinks

looks harmless but is actually p good with a sword

doesn’t like fighting though

taeyong consults him a lot

experienced & versatile bc he’s worked on many pirate ships before

but for some reason everyone trusts his loyalty to la vipère

has a lot of good stories to tell

loves singing haunting tunes about dying sailors; it sets the crew on edge but his voice is too beautiful to make stop

JAEHYUN: Sailing Master of La Vipère

inexplicably attuned to taeyong’s feelings and desires

prob bc they’ve known e/o since they were little pirate boys

shares his captain’s love for the sea

taeyong trusts him with his life

doesn’t like making empty promises

soft-spoken & gentle

has the face of a heartthrob but doesn’t use it to his advantage

very precise with navigations

seems to always know where taeyong wants to sail before he even tells him

JOHNNY: Master Gunner of La Vipère

chill and laidback; nothing ever fazes him

joined the crew bc he was bored & wasting his life away on land

master gunner for no reason other than that he gets a sick thrill out of bombing other ships to oblivion

he only feels alive during battles; the more chaotic the better

so unsympathetic that ppl think he’s missing a nerve but rly, he’s just perpetually disinterested in everything

can be very charming from time to time depending on his mood

loves thunderstorms & hurricanes

JAEMIN: Surgeon of La Vipère

childhood friends with jeno; they were both orphans living off of scraps in paris

doesn’t talk about it bc they’re kinda enemies now but he worries over him a lot (taeyong knows this but can’t do much about it)

initially joined la vipère to find jeno

adapted well to life as a pirate; anything is better than the starving hell he grew up in

a surprisingly capable doctor even though the only experience he’s had was from treating his and jeno’s cuts & bruises from larceny punishments

very stealthy & nimble

good at stealing

loves his crew members

+++

+++

TEN: Captain of The Black Pearl

taeyong’s nemesis; would kill him but would highkey also fuck him (their relationship is rly twisted & intense idk)

a playful trickster

nothing but snide remarks tucked under his tongue

devil-may-care attitude; little thoughts given for the future

so unbelievably selfish and narcissistic it’s amazing he has a crew at all

but he’s fun!! and clever and charming as hell

can wiggle his way out of any trouble

very good at lying & acting

speaks a lot of languages

legendary swordsman; on par with taeyong

only shows genuine affection when talking about the black pearl

sleeps with countless ppl every time they dock at a port

DOYOUNG: Quartermaster of The Black Pearl

basically in command of the ship bc ten rarely does anything for the crew

smart, organized, well-rounded

revered and somewhat feared by the crew

hides his emotions v well

ppl think he’s heartless but tbh he’s not rly; he’s just good at separating task from feeling

has a soft spot for jeno; thinks the boy is wholly unsuited for this barbaric life

doesn’t seem very invested in piracy (he wants something more but he’s not sure what)

loves the sea at night when everything is calm & quiet

prefers peaceful sailing to battle frenzy but that doesn’t mean he can’t fight well (he’s actually the second-best swordsman onboard after ten)

KUN: Boatswain of The Black Pearl

similar to taeil, the ship is his pride & joy

does a good job overseeing everything on a daily basis

greedy; loves gold more than anything

always the first to locate the treasure hoard on a conquered ship

dreams of being the wealthiest man in the world and thinks piracy is the quickest way to achieving that

everything he does is for his own gain; the crew to him is just another means of aiding him in the bigger scheme

takes care of yukhei the most bc he thinks that kid is their best asset in battles; ppl mistake it for affection but kun would drop him in a heartbeat for even the tiniest materialistic gain

loves rum

JENO: Sailing Master of The Black Pearl

the kindest & most thoughtful boy

very good-looking (his beauty is famous across all the seas; even mermaids fall for his allure)

childhood friends with jaemin; misses him but doesn’t dare to say anything bc if ten ever finds out, jaemin will likely die just so ten can see jeno’s reaction for his own entertainment

not very fond of his captain

only joined the crew bc ten saved him years ago from nearly getting his hand chopped off for stealing (“now, boy, i need me a crew, so what do you say? join me and i’ll consider your debts paid”)

separated from jaemin due to that but fate has her own way and now they’re enemies on sea (he’s not sure if he’s thankful or angry)

has a natural affinity for directions at sea despite having been a parisian street rat his whole life

YUKHEI: Master Gunner of The Black Pearl

epitome of the ruggedly handsome pirate™

crazy fucking bastard

doesn’t know what holding back means

blasts cannons like there’s no tomorrow every time the black pearl engages in battle

loves joking around with the crew

says he adores & would die for everyone but no one knows if he rly ever means it

so reckless w everything he does that it’s a feat he’s still alive

drinks a lot but rarely gets drunk

honestly just wants to live life to the fullest

that’s why he loves being a pirate!! nothing else can give him the same dizzying rush of being alive, knowing he’s always on the verge of death

huge womanizer... always gone the moment they dock, just like ten

JUNGWOO: Surgeon of The Black Pearl

shy & quiet & seemingly innocent

but no one knows of all the shit he’s done in secret to get to where he is today

obviously he’s darker than he comes off as if he’s survived for this long on the sea

ppl always want to protect him and he goes along with it bc false impression is his favorite weapon

so tbh he’s as good of a liar as ten is

pretends to act like an airhead but is acutely perceptive to everyone and everything around him at all times

a highly skilled surgeon; was trained as a pirate doctor’s apprentice since v young

+++

+++

MARK: Captain of The Flying Dutchman

cut his own heart out and locked it away; no one knows where it is or dare to ask

cursed with the ship; can never make port and is doomed to sail the seas for eternity

acts cruel and merciless but is deep down very sensitive

ppl say no one knows love like he has known love

self-destructive, moody

lone wolf; pushes everyone away but somehow his crew is unshakably devoted to him

superior swordsman; second only to ten and taeyong

controls the kraken; the entire sea is envious of him for that

RENJUN: Quartermaster of The Flying Dutchman

ex-british commodore

was so so devoted to great britain like literally exemplar pawn of the empire; would’ve died for his queen with zero hesitation

drawn to ppl who are better than him

which is why he was enthralled by mark during one great battle bt the british navy & the flying dutchman 

and then promptly abandoned everything he ever stood for just to follow this boy

has a pride complex where he simultaneously pines after & wants to kill those who’ve bested him

very good with guns & pistols

YUTA: Boatswain of The Flying Dutchman

loves being a ghost-pirate; he was made for the undead life

had an intense affair with sicheng from years ago but was betrayed and nearly hanged for piracy 

so now he’s bent on revenge (but some fucked-up part of him is still in love with sicheng) (he’ll never admit it though)

tongue sharper than ten’s bc he always speaks with the intention to hurt

very manipulative

holds grudges

joined the flying dutchman bc it’s the most feared ship on the seven seas & he thinks it’s his best chance at finding & killing those he’s been wronged by (rn primarily sicheng)

despite everything he’s p loyal to mark bc there’s something about cutting one’s own heart out that intrigues him to no end

CHENLE: Sailing Master of The Flying Dutchman

navigates the ship to various locations to collect sailors who died at sea & ferry their souls to the next world

good judgements when it comes to sailing

often climbs onto the crow’s nest to stargaze or watching the rising sun bc they’re the only things that calm him

absolutely devoted to mark bc mark plucked him out of an abusive shanghai orphanage & basically saved his life

has a dark side but is generally a sweet boy

confides in renjun a lot bc he trusts him the most

DONGHYUCK: Master Gunner of The Flying Dutchman

would die for mark in a heartbeat

he’s in love with his captain? maybe?

rude/sarcastic little shit

jack of all trades; very smart but puts 20% effort into everything

disobedient as fuck bc he wants to get a rise out of mark but has never succeeded

sunshine boy on the surface but won’t bat an eyelash when spilling blood

gets a sadistic kick out of firing cannons and pistols

likes playing games with their captives/hostages

good at telling jokes & stories but everyone finds him annoying

JISUNG: Powder Monkey of The Flying Dutchman

suspicious of everything & doesn’t trust anyone

bad at managing emotions & relationships (his captain can relate)

a quick learner; can honestly take over any position on the ship if he wants to

gets along well with chenle but isn’t super close w anyone

his mother tossed him overboard at birth w the intention to drown him but mark saved him by chance

yuta jokes that mark only picked him out of the water bc he didn’t want to ferry another dead soul

he considers his life to be mark’s; 100% at his captain’s disposal

excellent fighter despite being so young

[houseofkooks]

aaaaa this is just a note 2 myself but CHIVES IF YOU’RE READING THIS know that it’s inspired by ur twt ahaha (idk if you’re on tumblr anymore but just in case!!!)

u mentioned lack of motivation and i think it’s something that we and a lot of people our age are experiencing. so i thought a lot about it and i just wanted to jot down all my little THOTS so that i can come back to them later as reminders and as encouragements (?) for myself but anyway yes here i go

mmmk so i didn’t learn a lotta things in college bc i rly just relied on short term memory for most tests. but i do faintly remember learning about different types of motivation in one of the health science classes. 

this is v similar to what i had in my textbook

so i read up on them again bc heck no i don’t actually remember wat each of them means.

short summary

amotivation: lack of intentionality resulting from not valuing an activity, not feeling competent to do it, or not believing it will yield a desired outcome. [me in the latter half of college, where a combination of all three made me a very big flop of goo with zero ounce of motivation]

external regulation: doing something bc you’re asked to. doing it for an external cause. [me @ work right now, just doing things bc my boss told me to, not because i really have to or because i really want to]

introjection: all about STATUS. doing something for eco-enhancements. doing it for your self-esteem [i guess this applies bc sometimes i have this dumb but thankfully fleeting thought that i need to do certain things in order to uphold my rep as someone who’s “smart.” idk but maybe this is some kinda complex that a lotta kids from rice might experience? but it’s just so dumb like the only reputation i should care about is the one that i earn from doing something i actually want to do]

identification: you’re able to identify the importance of a behavior. you have to do this in order to do something else. [like how i have to go to pt school to be a pt to earn money. i’m not sure where money as a motivator really lands in this spectrum, but this is the closest i can place it?]

integration: you do it bc you know it’s good for you, even though you might not like doing it. [EXERCISE UHGHGHGHGHG]

and ofc, the holy grail, the ultimate goal: INTRINSIC MOTIVATION. OOOOH. this is when u do things u like without having to be motivated by other things like money or external rewards. [this is me all day errday when i stare at jk’s face or watch any bts videos in general]

ok so the point of relearning all of that is to analyze my own behaviors and identify my own motivations. 

first i think it’s good to examine my intrinsic motivation. here are some things i enjoy in life. like actually love doing -- eating yummy food, traveling while eating, watching bts videos, going to bts concerts, buying bts goods, MAKEUP!!, skincare, baking, giving said baked goods to my friends, hanging out with friends (but only the few i’m comfortable with), hanging out with my mom, organizing my stuff so it looks clean and pretty, giving presents to people i love, giving things to people i don’t know, reading fics, reading books (tho lol i don’t do that anymore), watching dramas (tho y do they suck these days) and prob more but these are the most prevalent ones. 

now. all of these are not possible without money. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES bc i wish it weren’t like that either. but food, makeup, bts, even reading require MONEY bc guess wat i can’t have any of these if i’m on the streets struggling to keep my stomach full. SO MONEY IS VERY IMPORTANT DAPH. get your head straight and just accept the fact that you need money for all these things, as sad as it sounds. but the GOOD THING IS. that they don’t require a LOT of money. i mean my interests aren’t that costly or impressive. but nevertheless, ya better get ur bank account more loaded than it is rn or u in trouble.

ok 2nd point. a lotta jobs can bring me money, yes? i can keep doing what i’m doing-- sit at a desk, look at a computer all day, joke around with coworkers. theoretically it’s not that bad. i’m good at staying where i am, at maintaining the equilibrium in my life and i don’t like it to be disturbed. but HONESTLY how much money is this gonna get me? not a lot. how much enjoyment is it gonna give me? not that much. i mean honestly right now all i do is talk to my coworkers about their days and their children and their tv shows and it’s all good in the hood and it’s fun BUT I GET SHIT MONEY OK. now keep in mind, u gotta take care of your parents and grandma when you actually get a job. and when dad’s too old to work. which will prob be soon bc his job sux and his industry is dying and everything is sad and gloomy. SO U NEED MONEY. but anyway i digress bc i’m supposed to have moved on from money lol. ok OK now, a lotta jobs can bring me money. but let’s examine all of them. first of all, all the high-paying ones? I’M NOT INTERESTED. i don’t wanna be an engineer even if i could do it, i don’t wanna be a CS person, or a lawyer, or a business person. 

now here’s the part that hurts a bit every time i think about it. D o C T o R. yes i wanted to be a doctor when i was in school. but now that i think about it. did i really? do i really? nope. and this isn’t me being salty.

so when i was younger and more ambitious i wanted to be someone who made a difference. i wasn’t gonna go down in history and no one will know about me when i die except for my kids and grandkids if i even have any. but because when i die, i will have spent my entire life here in this society, i wanna actually contribute to it. so yes, as cliche and “don’t say this at interviews” as it sounds, i wanted to help people. and i still do! i want to be able to make a difference in someone’s life so that my existence isn’t just limited to my own little self. so when i was younger and more ambitious, the first profession i thought of that would fulfill this rule is to be a doctor. because that’s what doctors do! they help people. but as i later learned, to be a doctor doesn’t just entail just sitting there helping patients. and then thankfully, i was able to experience what physical therapists do, and i really really like it. it’s like helping people, but on a more long-term basis. you get to make more of an impact by forming deeper of a relationship.

if i really think about it, i don’t actually remember my doctors. like yes i’m glad they prescribed medicine to me so that i’m still alive, but i honesty don’t remember their names nor remember exactly what they did. well maybe a family doctor or OBGYN would be more rewarding, but at least for me, the people i remember are people i had to see for a long extended period of time. like my dentist when i had braces. and well i didn’t have therapy but if i did, i would imagine that my therapist would have had a larger impact on me than my doctors. 

wow this is getting unnecessarily long wtf lol

ok ANYWAY. i think when i go to pt school, my main motivation would be external in the form of identification. bc i have to do it. i have to go to school and get a degree so that i can become a pt and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in people’s lives in my own way, and also to MAKE MONEY yay. and when i do become a pt, i’m hoping this external motivation gets upgraded to an intrinsic one (or at least an integrated external motivation) where i actually enjoy what i do and want to keep doing it. 

NOW. NOTE TO FUTURE SELF. SO THAT PRESENT ME CAN PREMATURELY SAY “I TOLD U SO.”

YOU’RE NOT GONNA LUV UR JOB ALL THE TIME. you’re gonna have to do it for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. you wake up, go to work, come home and have maybe 4-5 hours to yourself, and then you have to go to sleep bc HOW ELSE will you stay awake to do another 8 hours all over again. and this isn’t school where u can just dose off and procrastinate. there are actual patients who need u to be on ur best behavior. so then you do this over and over again. and eventually it’ll all become the same. that’s just the nature of repeated exposure. it’s like ya i luv watching bts videos and reading fics but if u told me to sit there and do 40 hours of it every week and then week after week, heck no i’m not gonna like it!!! it’ll all be the same videos i watch and then i’ll already know what happens. eventually i’ll run outta fics or all the plotlines will start to feel the same!!! so yes. you’re not gonna love your job all the time because like anything else, it’ll suck when it sucks. you’ll probably have bad bosses or bad clients or just bad days. you’ll get tired of work like you got tired of school. BUT NEVER FORGET that you’re doing it because you kinda have to. and you know what kim namjoon the greatest bestest cutest wisest babs said?!?!?!?!! and prob a lotta other ppl but ima attribute it to my babs. THINGS ARE SAD TO MAKE THE HAPPY THINGS HAPPIER. (or something like that this is not a direct quote)

but yea. work will seem tedious and boring and repetitive, but that’s to make your weekends and vacation times more exciting. and it’s not like you’ll hate your job. you won’t like it every day but i’m fairly certain that there’ll be days you’ll thank me YES ME YOUR PAST SELF that i’ve made a good decision. because you’ll get to be doing what you’ve always wanted to do! to help people! to earn money so you can help even more people! and earn money so that you can do all the things you love!!!!!! yay me. yay you. hehe

for future ref: source1, source2