#i have two videos that show he popping up randomly as im eating

[3-aem]

wild rascal has appeared where he shouldn’t

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[emonaculate]

AOT Freshman v Senior Year headcanons (Eren, Armin, and Mikasa)

❥ AU: Highschool!AU

❥ Genre: Fluff

❥ Rating: Everyone can read

❥ Pairing: hinted at Eren x reader

❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, mentions of violence, manipulation, mention of weed, and slight angst

❥ Author Note: I'm making this an entire series for the main cast or my favorite characters from AOT

Eren Yeager

Freshman year

Extremely fucking loud for no reason

Runs to class and somehow always manages to be late

Tries to pay attention in class but due to his ADHD would always spaces tf out

Despite being loud, only talks to Mikasa and Armin

Smells like nothing but AXE body spray, its not even a bad smell, its just too much

That kid that takes P.E. TOO fucking serious

"Eren you know why you're in trouble right?"

"No."

"...You hit your classmate in the face with a ball."

"He could have dodged."

"Eren it was a basketball, you broke his nose and chipped his tooth."

"He shouldn't have gotten so close to me."

Im sorry but totally dresses like this

Constantly compared to his older brother.

"Yeager... Are you by any chance related to Zeke Yeager?"

"No way, your brother is THE Zeke Yeager?"

Makes a name for himself rather quickly

Listens to heavy rock/metal music

He loves My Chemical Romance and Three Day Grace.

Learned how to play the guitar just so he could play "Teenagers"

Forced Mikasa and Armin to also listen to the bands

They ended up all deciding on making a small little garage band; Miki on vocals and drums, Min on bass, and Eren as lead vocalist and electric guitar.

His style changed randomly but no one questioned it since his personality remained the same.

Senior year

180 personality

Completely mellowed tf out

Either he is in class on time or not showing up at all

Senioritis is strong within him

Works better when he is completely out of it

STONER

This mf always high as shit

Either you love him, hate him, or respect him there is no inbetween

MANBUN

Smart as hell but usually on the low

His music taste has changed a little

LOVES POLITICAL RAP

J.cole and Kendrick stan; it is not up for debate

His favorite songs are Neighbors by J.Cole and Alright by Kendrick

Listens to throwback RnB when high

Still godly at the guitar

Has a couple stick and poke tattoos; He has one behind his ear matching Min and Miki.

He has the sun, Armin has the ocean waves, Mikasa has the moon

PIERCINGS

A total of 8; 4 in his left and 2 in his right + the industrial

Has a tongue piercing

A two slices in his eyebrow but only got them as a dare

Most of them minus the industrial piercing was done at home because he has an abnormally high pain tolerance.

Dresses like this

Doesnt really play sports but is super good at soccer and basketball

He's actually good at most sports just refuses to join because why would he want to support a corrupted system??

Still more of a loner but has a rather nice friend group

Looks mean asf but is actually really nice

Goes the hardest for his friends

You fuck with them = you getting your shit rocked by him

100% the friend that hits you for forgetting to eat

Despite being hot as shit; never really has a girlfriend

Its only because hes oblivious or just not interested

Deathly scary when hes pissed

If you guys got beef; there is no talking

Its on sight bro

Be prepared to get beat the fuck up

A few things that makes him go from 0 to 100 is racism, mocking disabled people, and domestic violence

He's an activist

If you need help organizing a protest; he'll help and somehow manage to get people to come.

Basically a really good guy just hot headed as hell

Armin Arlert

Freshman Year

The kid who looked up those lame videos on how to survive highschool.

Panicked when it came to speaking in class

Stuttered like hell

AP CLASSES

He's way too advanced like could graduate early but refuses to so he can stay with his friends

Super sweet but extremely naive

People definitely took advantage of him.

"Hey Armin, my dog got in a car accident so I wasnt really focused in class, can you give me the homework answers?"

"Yeah sure its no problem."

Sends them a whole ass powerpoint on the entire lesson and teaches them better than the actual teacher.

Band nerd

Can play the Piano, Bass, and Trumpet

Listens to Mother Mother and Queen religiously

Only joined Eren's garage band after he agreed to watch Bohemian Rhapsody

Dresses like this

Moved in with Ren and Miki after he went through some shit with his family; he came out as bisexual after realizing he was attracted to one of his classmates.

Sometimes worries that Eren gets uncomfortable but relaxes after he remembers who Eren really is.

Wouldn't trade his friends for the world

Senior Year

His glow up took awhile because he didnt really feel the need to change

He was always rather cute; just shy and timid

VALEDICTORIAN

Slightly because he manipulated his runner up into become a burnout gifted kid lmao

Everyone has his Snapchat and Instagram so they can get help

Now he knows when people are using him and he still lets them; the only difference is you fuck with him and he can make you end up repeating the same grade.

Lets people copy his test and at the last minute pauses and erases all his answers before putting the correct ones.

No one has realized his plan.

His fashion sense changed a lot

Subconsciously tries to match Eren all the time

The only person that noticed was Mikasa; she thinks its cute

Is in love with Russian foreign exchange student, Annie.

He talks to her from time to time before gathering enough courage to ask her out

Doesnt realize how popular he is.

Oftentimes volunteers at the aquarium to study the ocean life as well as help out.

Helps plenty of organizations clean up the ocean.

A total of four piercings and the tattoo that matches his friends.

Two in his ears and nipple piercings.

It was a dare he sobbed through

Mikasa Ackerman

Freshman year

Basketcase

Follows Eren and Armin around

Super quiet

Doesn't really have much of a personality

She is cute though

Dresses like this

Like I said no real personality at all

Well except she was the girl who thought she was in a romance novel

Especially when Eren would get into a fight.

"Eren look at me... This isnt you."

"Mikasa move."

Most times it wouldnt work.

It was just cringy man...

Can play the violin, flute, piano, and cello

Only learned the drums so she could play with Eren and Armin

A secret pop stan

Loves Ariana Grande and Doja Cat

Thank god she manages to grow out of that yucky phase.

Senior Year

GOTH GF

Track, Gymnast, and female basketball player

She mellowed out as well and became her own person

Still heavily in love with Eren

Confessed to him during a karaoke session to the song Baby I by Ariana Grande; he didnt realize.

Sang her heart out and was a blushing mess but still got no where

Has deep down accepted that she may never be more than just his friend

Is okay with it and NOT toxic when he's crushing on someone else

Just wants him to be happy

Saw how he looked at some girl during a fundraiser to raise money for animal shelters and realized that he may never look at her like that.

Turned a guy down because Armin had a crush on him

The ultimate wing girl

Introduced Eren to her opponent after a track meet after realizing it was the girl from the fundraiser.

Dresses like this

Super sweet despite her look

However pick on her friends and you're fucked

CAN and WILL whoop your ass

The only person who can get Eren to not fight.

Pissed them both off at the same time and you're screwed

Has a total of three piercings

Her ears and nose

Loves her boys more than anything

Stays with Eren while her parents travel to help with natural disasters

Noticed that Armin's ideal type is Eren but never mentioned it because she knows Armin would overract

Very observant

Just wants the best for her friends even if she is the one who ends up happy

Eventually falls for the guy that asked her out junior year.

Still close to her boys because they come before anyone.

[feelsundefeated]

hi my name is poe ( they/them. 23. est ) ! and i’m very excited to be here <3 i can’t wait to write with all of you :3 this is my goblin eli and while i woke up late and don’t have a background written up or anything you can find an info dump ( plus some wanted connections ) under the cut which will hopefully give you some insight ! like this if you’d like to plot ! it’s easier to get a hold of me on d*scord : kangaroo court#6392 but ims are fine too ! :D

✼:♡*ﾟ✿ ↝  jeon jungkook . demi boy . he/they .  ／  elijah “ eli ” kang is blasting are you bored yet? by wallows again … ugh , i swear they play that song every single day ! you’d think they’d learn how to pipe down . oh , you don’t know them ? they live in apartment 4b . i haven’t talked to them much , but i know that they’re twenty three years old , and that they’ve been living in the complex for three years . i always run into them when they’re coming back home from vinny’s vinyls , and they seem really gregarious and flighty . maybe you’ll have better luck with the aries than i do .

muse info :

he’s a typical american so getting used to canadian culture is still a thing for him. he can do a pretty good accent though ( in his opinion which means it actually sucks ).

he works at vinny’s vinyls and is obsessed with music. his favorite band is wallows but he has a soft spot for all those 2000s pop punk and emo bands. if he recommends fall out boy to you at the register just go with it and act like you’ve never heard of them.

his walls are covered in various records he’s collected some albums he really loves and some he just likes the look of ( ugh posers amirite ? ).

he really loves dogs and most animals in general. if you go through his tiktok fyp it’s filled with farmers and people who take care of animals most people wouldn’t have as a pet.

he’s known pretty much all his life that he’s nonbinary like the idea of being masculine never appealed to him so he just kinda vibes with it. if you ask him he’ll say gender is a myth and he’s never understood it. he’s obsessed with being a he/they like as soon as he found out what a demi boy was he just knew it fit.

also he’s bisexual so he’s just in love and wanting to sleep with everyone KFJDSHJFSD

due to his aries nature he tends to get crushes easily then stupidly admits to them but gets over them in two weeks and ghosts them :/

he’s really bad at committing like really really bad. he’s never had a relationship last longer than three months and he tends to leave people bitter about it because he doesn’t break up with them he just disappears. if your muse hates aries then he might be why.

he loved the idea of living alone because at home he’s the youngest of five siblings and being stuck in a house ( shared bedrooms forever since as the youngest he got the short end of the stick ) with them made him crave alone time. but now he gets lonely a lot and regrets not having a roommate. so whoever he’s friends with he comes in and crashes on their couch a lot for no reason other than he wants to. so you might have to kick this bum out personally

that being said he loves his family a lot and facetimes with his parents and the siblings he can get a hold of at least once a week. they drive him nuts though but in like the best way possible.

he tends to stay up way too late and for some reason that’s when the act up urges hit so if you hear somebody else blaring at 3 am he’s fine i promise ( maybe ).

he never drinks water and suffers from constant headaches but refuses to drink it. his fridge is filled with various flavors of monster blue powerade and mountain dew. he hates the taste of coffee and alcohol ( he still drinks the latter though ).

he really likes video games so if he randomly invites your muse over to play mario kart on the switch it’s either to brag or he’s just trying to hit on you. he’s a shyguy main btw.

talk to him about video games and he’ll get lost in the convo for hours. he loves open world games the best i.e. skyrim breath of the wild red dead redemption 2. but he also likes rpgs and nintendo games.

he runs cold most of the time so he always has a hoody on.

he loves anime so talk to him about anime ( especially my hero academia ) and he has figurines of his favorite character bakugo.

he has a lot of badly done tattoos on his hand and arm just because he gets bored then goes and gets something done.

he wears five earrings in each ear and used to have them gauged but they grew back and he’s too lazy to get them done again. he also has his hair done in an undercut currently and he loves putting it up in ponytails or buns.

if you make him a playlist he’ll fall in love with you immediately.

he’s really good at binging tv shows. he rewatched hannibal in three days and gets done with most new netflix series in a day.

he’s allergic to peanut butter but sometimes he eats uncrustables to see if he’s gotten over thinking he can just build up an immunity to it.

wanted connections:

exes ( any gender. i’m really wanting multiple plots of like people that eli’s strung along and left in the dust. )

hookups / fwbs ( any gender. singular experiences or regular type things )

i haven’t decided where he’s from so hmu for childhood plots. i’m a sucker for childhood besties, first kisses and crushes.

be his infatuation of the week ( this can be multiple plots but i want eli confessing his feelings then getting over them and ghosting leaving your muse confused. i want the awkward run ins and confrontations ! )

you come into vinny’s vinyls and ask him for recs but he just goes on about how good mcr is.

you nag him to please drink some water because he’s clearly dying of dehydration.

come play mario kart with him. he’ll say he’s gonna win but more than likely he’ll lose.

you check up on him because he’s listening to fleetwood mac’s rumours at 4 in the morning and you’re wondering if he’s ok and also you just wanna sleep.

tinder date ( it can go well or not )

he’s eaten peanut butter again and you’re the one who has to drag his stupid ass to the hospital.

you’re the friend whose couch he crashes on constantly. maybe one night you’re trying to bring someone home and he won’t leave and you’re trying to nicely make him get the hint but he refuses so you have to be mean about it.

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it !

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[dxaxt]

*Cue dramatics*

Ok, here it goes...

4 years ago I was in a mentally (slightly physical relationship). He was a well-liked man despite others knowing of his abusive patterns towards other women. I am willing to admit that this is all my fault.

Initially I added him on Facebook because I thought he was really cute then we transitioned to instagram in which led to him writing me first. We were both in rotting relationships so we weren’t going to make anything official. After a couple of weeks texting & video chatting we met up.

The first red flag was when I would go to his house & two of his friends would randomly come. He told me they were randomly coming & I told him I’ll just leave. He joked & said, “Its not like we’re gonna rape you... Just meet them.” I told him that I wasn’t thinking that but now the thought of it was circulating in my head. Ive been sexually assaulted a few times in my life & the thought of it happening again was terrifying. I stayed an extra 5 minutes anyway (like a true dumbass). The second red flag would be him texting another girl while he was holding me.

The third red flag reared its ugly head the second time we met up. He was close to being drunk, sipping away at the little Hennessy bottle he had. He kept asking me to drink & I kept refusing. We smoked together & then started kissing. He started moving his hands into my shirt & I tried to stop him but he convinced me that it’ll be fine so I gave in. It didn’t last long (thankfully) & he still kept trying to convince me that it was fine. I left shortly afterwards. He would begin to talk to me less & less & after a week of him ignoring me going by I decided to leave him alone. Suddenly he has a change of heart & decides to chase after me. We’d have sex again & he would tell me that he was in love with me. No one has ever been in love with me before & to hear those words made me cry so I forced myself to believe him. We were fine for a few days then he’d go back to completely ignoring me.

I want to say a month passed by & we still weren’t talking. I found myself texting him sometimes & only sometimes id get a reply. He’d say things like, “I love you.” “Im busy at work” “Thinking of you” & I was eating it up like cake; this was beyond a red flag.

The fifth red flag would be when I was hanging out with one of my friends & we saw him with another woman, who happened to be about 10 years our senior (he & I are the same age). I would later learn that he’s attacked her in front of 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 woman before. He acted as if he didn’t know me & we were in each other’s faces as if we were going to fight. He threatened to kill me. I lacked the love in myself to leave him alone then & decided to torment myself for the next 2 1/2 years.

The man had a plethora of other women. A bunch of his exes couldn’t seem to let go of him. He would still see some of them from time to time & I would see him less & less. He would complain about how often he saw me even though we saw each other once or twice every other week. One time he came straight to me right after having sex with another woman. I smelled her residue on him. I would at this point start to see other people in between that time. He would act jealous so naturally I stopped seeing other people. My friends begged me to stop talking to him but I couldn’t at the time. All of my friends had someone or were barely speaking to me which led to a few fallouts but he was always there.

There was a time again where he ignored me for about two months. At this point I had lost my mind; I was giving out his address & phone numbers to random people on dating apps which led to him moving a few times. He randomly decided to show up to my house which led to a slight altercation. He shoved me into the wall twice because I was on the way to help him pack up his clothes so he can get dressed & leave. He was drunk (of course) so I decided to give him a big ass bottle of Vodka to encourage him to leave.

We’d get into another altercation outside. He was playing mind games so I decided to approach him about it in person, waiting in an area I knew he’d be in. He threatened to stab me & took out his switch blade, putting it on his side, the side that was closer to my leg. I took out my taser & put it close to his neck area. Slowly we both drew down our weapons & the rest of the evening he’d cat call to this woman who was flirting with him back. He’d ask me if I want to have sex by the train & I told him no. He proceeded to return text messages back to some person that was texting him paragraphs. I caught a few glimpses of the words; “Please stop doing this to me.” “I love you.” Those words were familiar. I decided to just walk away from him & he followed after me.

At that point I was beginning to ignore him. I was seeing someone else who was also a terrible human being (long story short he recorded us having sex with my consent but without my consent he was posting it on his private snapchat and sending it to his ex along with a few other women he was involved with + finding out he had abused this other woman) & that lasted for about a month. He would start to text me from random numbers, begging to see me & how much he missed me. I decided to see him & things seemed a bit ok between us.

We started fighting again & then I’d learn of him dating a 15/16 year old girl (he & I were 23 at the time) a week after seeing him. I was completely mortified. The girl would start to flirt with me & confide in me about him had hitting her before & how much they were in love. Eventually things would turn sour cause she told me how she slept with his friend & then I told him & it turned into this big whole argument over the phone with all three of them degrading me, calling me racial slurs, the whole nine. I left him alone completely after this in which led to him stalking me.

He would pass by a friend i had at the time’s job a few times, starring at her through the window. Private calls popping in here & there followed by threats of all kinds. At one point his underage girlfriend would text me pretending to be him through these burner numbers. A few months after their relationship ended I would see him about three more times. After the last time I would block his number indefinitely & we wouldn’t speak ever again.

I don’t deserve to have trauma because I know after awhile I was doing it to myself. I let a man like him believe I was “living for his dick” (his exact words). I let this man degrade me along with his friends. I let this man hold my sanity. I gave him more of myself than I even had at the time. Ive lost all the friends I’ve had during that time as well & some of those fallouts were because they were disappointed in me for prolonging the situation & I sincerely don’t blame them. I just hope one day I can forgive myself for letting myself down like that

[completeotometrash]

Matchup

@i-sleep-like-napoleon

I'm a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I'm kind of a mix of ENFP and INFP. Appearance-wise, I'm 5'2, i've brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I'm also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time. Personality-wise: - I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I'm really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I'm a closet nerd hehe) . - I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best - I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can't 😅 - I'm quite an open book to all my close friends - I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i'm having with anyone, especially if it's a deep conversation - I can be really awkward around people i don't click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with. - I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don't feel like I'm intimidating. - I can be really sensitive to other's emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i'm too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself - My love languages are physical touch and quality time - I can't stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they're just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho) - I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop. - I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i'm just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance - I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme). - I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i'm not that good at it :D - People tell me that I'm very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits. - I'm also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love. - I'm also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust. - I'm ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖 - I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i'll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0) - I'm also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can't hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I've had a bad day - I'm also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that "oh you're pretty good for a girl") like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation - My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes - I've been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it's because i can be really touchy feely to my friends - I'm also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others- I'm kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I'm also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me - I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn't 😂😂 - I'm also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them - I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don't mean to - Sometimes I don't really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it's just me and my impulsiveness 🤪 Fun Facts: - i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life) - i really hate horror movies (I'm usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims - I'm also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter - My hobbies are reading, writing and shooting (only air-rifle though) - I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It's on it's road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself. - I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅 - I'm also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller - Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚 - I'm really terrible at drawing, I'm not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂 - I'm also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which caused me to have bruises occasionally - I'm kinda bad and math and physics, but like if you take your time to explain to me then I'll understand a bit more lol, my best subject is like chemistry

...........

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy.

Although I was deeply torn between another character, I believe the suitor you’d be best with is: Sasuke Sarutobi!

I honestly feel like a relationship between you two would be like an, “opposites attract,” type of deal. But despite this, you two still would share a lot of common interests! Unlike all of the other guys, he understands you. He was born and raised in the same time period as you! He knows everything a normal person would from the 2000′s, he’s watched movies, listened to similar music, enjoyed memes, and understands references! Sasuke has made it very clear that he too, is quite the history guru. His former job in modern times was being a scientist. (Although it was never mentioned, I strongly feel like he enjoyed anime before he was sent back in time.) And he loves to not only learn, but teach what he knows! You two have a relationship unlike any other, which is a truly special thing. If there would ever be a time where you want to rant or discuss anything about the future, he would gladly listen!

Sasuke is not very good with his emotions, and is very stoic and self-kept. Seeing you and your expressions and how different you two are is pretty refreshing to him. He doesn’t find you intimidating whatsoever! (More adorable than anything). If you were ever frustrated at him or the world, he knows how to take it without making things worse, (most of the time). Always stays calm and has no problem being the first to apologize. He listens to how you feel and gives his best advice. Rare of you to ever get mad at him, he’s a pretty chill person that doesn’t seek attention or act like they’re better than anyone. He’s not too sure how to help you with your insecurities. Shows his love through actions rather than words, but still gives the nice occasional compliment on how you look or on your personality. (He truly does love you, thinks of you as being better than perfect.) He doesn’t mind that you’re the same way. Also isn’t bothered by you being possessive at all. (Doesn’t really talk to girls other than you unless he has to.)

Loves going and doing things with you. Whether if it’s walking around town or playing games in the castle! (Thinks you being competitive is adorable!) Understands if you just want to stay home and relax. He’s very introverted and doesn’t really understand social ques, so just being alone with you is something he would take any day.

Although he doesn’t show it, he loves pampering you! Enjoys cuddles as well. (Everyone seems to discuss on how he and his s/o would recreate the upside-down Spiderman kiss.) Will just randomly pull up romantic movie or TV show lines, and vines. A secret softy! (But only for you).

Overall, I think this would be a really healthy relationship! Only problem being how bad he is at expressing himself. (Which can be fixed over time.)

Other Possible matches: Masamune Date (almost picked this one tbh), Mitsunari Ishida, and Kennyo.. (Fuck I can’t remember his last name. Someone please educate me.)

[rosaliekali]

Hello there, how are you? I hope that you've had a great day/night! And congratulations on 1k 😚, you deserve it!! 💖 You're a really good writer and I can't wait for your match-up 🥰

I'm a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I used to be an ENFP but now I'm an INFP

Appearance-wise, I'm 5'2, i've brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I'm also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time.

Personality-wise:

- I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I'm really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I'm a closet nerd hehe) .

- I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best

- I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can't 😅

- I'm quite an open book to all my close friends

- I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i'm having with anyone, especially if it's a deep conversation

- I can be really awkward around people i don't click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with.

- I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don't feel like I'm intimidating.

- I can be really sensitive to other's emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i'm too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself

- My love languages are physical touch and quality time

- I can't stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they're just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho)

- I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop.

- I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i'm just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance

- I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme).

- I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i'm not that good at it :D

- People tell me that I'm very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits.

- I'm also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love.

- I'm also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust.

- I'm ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖

- I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i'll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0)

- I'm also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can't hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I've had a bad day

- I'm also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that "oh you're pretty good for a girl") like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation

- My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes

- I've been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it's because i can be really touchy feely to my friends

- I'm also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others

- I'm kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I'm also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me

- I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn't 😂😂

- I'm also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them

- I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don't mean to

- Sometimes I don't really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it's just me and my impulsiveness 🤪

Fun Facts (i.e hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc.):

- i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life)

- i really hate horror movies (I'm usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims

- I'm also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter

- My hobbies are reading (adventure and fantasy are my favourite genres, but I'll read anything), writing and shooting (only air-rifle though)

- I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It's on it's road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself.

- I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅

- I'm also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller

- Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚

- I'm really terrible at drawing, I'm not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂

- I'm also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which cuased me to have bruises occasionally

- Math is like hands down my worst subject, like really I can't math or physics to save my life, but I'm really good at biology and chemistry

Ahh it's kinda a bit long and tmi but I'm really looking forward to hesr what yout think! Stay happy and healthy 💖😚

I match you with Will!

Will knows what it is like to have rumors swirling around and not have a large group of friends. He knows better than to listen to the gossip mill and is more likely to see you for who you are. Upon first meeting you, he is intrigued. You are different from the others around him and are not afraid to be yourself. 

He likes how possessive you are, he is possessive himself, and will love to monopolize your time. He isn’t one to be overly affectionate in public either and can respect your boundaries. He likes spending time with you, and, once you both click, the two of you can talk for hours. He likes your honest nature and finds you being an open book interesting. Many people tend to hide behind gestures or deceit, but you are open to those you are close with and this is something he values.

Will is immune to charms as well and knows when people are pretending to draw attention. He is very perceptive and prefers those who know who they are and do not put up airs. He likes that about you and admires how you are true to yourself. 

Will has a way with words and will be there to help you when you have doubts over yourself. He likes the moments when you dress up, finds them a pleasant surprise, but likes your true self above all. He won’t let you ever doubt yourself and will be quick to remind you how much he loves you when you do.

He likes your passion and definitely needs someone who will give attention to his own needs. Will is a lonely person used to being on his own because people are intimidated by him, he needs a lover who can see him for who he is and will show him the affection he needs. You fit the description well.

All in all, the two of you click well together. He likes your openness and is not the kind of person to let the people around him turn him away. Your possessive nature and open nature draw him in right away and he finds you are just the person he needs for himself.

An alternative match would be Comte because he also would like how open you are, how you put others before yourself, and would not care about what anyone else thinks. 

[madd-information]

This is long so I submitted it this way instead of sending in like 1,000 asks. Hope that’s okay?

Hi I’m Twoot and idk if I have (have? Is that the right term?) madd but I might and I’m looking into it. I’ve tried to do some research but idk how well it matches up. For as long as I can remember I’ve sort of created my own worlds or pretended that I was part of some that already existed (based off of youtubers, shows, books, etc. When I was younger it was a big mix of me as a person experiencing it and a character as me experiencing it but recently it’s just been me as characters) It’s not *all* of my life but when I sat down to write this all out I realized how much it happens. and I’m an only child living with only my dad so i didn’t have many real ppl to play w growing up and I have a lot of alone time. I spend a lot of my (mostly) alone time (walking to and from school, being home alone, in bed at night (so much plot in the stories/worlds I build happens at night), and even sometimes in social situations,, tho it depends) doing what I have dubbed in the latest years “The Characters Thing” (I’m just going to call it TCT for now bc I’m not %100 sure if it’s madd or not so that’s just what I’m going to refer to it as here)

Usually when I get into something (bc of my adhd when I get into a fandom type thing I hyperfixate and *rly* get into it) my whole world revolves around that thing. I create a sort of au and story in my head and they often times never wrap up before moving on to the next one. While I’m involved in one of my hyperfixations I usually do TCT about them and start a storyline which I continue throughout my day. These can last from one afternoon (tho that’s p uncommon) to months. They change as my hyperfixations change bc once I tire of those the characters/world no longer interest me and my hyperfixations usually last for a couple months. Right now I’m into Moomin so for example I would be Snufkin or the Joxter (it switches who I am A Lot depending on what’s happening in the story/ where I am while I’m doing TCT bc I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is actually madd) and go thru parts of the story I’m making as them. I don’t think of myself as becoming them ig?? Looking back I’m still me,, I’m the body,, the one experiencing things but during TCT the concept of “Twoot” (me) is gone and I perceive things and react to situations (irl or in the story in my head) as the character. It’s never in third person as I am always a certain character and even if I imagine others I do not act as them even tho I sort of control them. Another thing I forgot to add is that I can switch between what character I am. It often varies from world to world and story to story but sometimes I switch characters randomly bc my mood changes and the way I’m acting would better fit another character or my hyperfixation might shift and maybe a different character seems more appealing at that time. It’s like when you’re reading a fic and some of the chapters are in the POV of a different character. Tho for me it’s never third person no matter what. I always see it thru the eyes of the character I am.

There can sometimes be multiple worlds/stories happening at the same time which sometimes stumps me on what one to continue with when I do TCT. The stories never happen at the same time but if there are stories that are super short (last for only an afternoon or so,, but again these are super rare) there might be characters from multiple things in the same place. One recently for me was a world of me walking back from school after a stressful class where two characters (strongly tied to emotions. The three characters here are the only ones that are tied to emotions and pop up when I am feeling a certain emotion. Tho there are exceptions like there’s a character that always pops up when I’m stimming.) Who represent pettiness and anger (Marvin from Falsettos being the main one. (The only time when I act as him is when I am feeling petty or selfish and angry bc falsettos isn’t my hyperfixation anymore and I wasn’t usually him when it was my hyperfixation) Little my from Moomin was the other but unlike Marvin me feeling angry isn’t the only time she pops up bc that’s not all she’s included for and she’s part of my current hyperfixation) where talking to me (At the moment I was snufkin from the Moomins who i use to make my emotions stable bc he is always calm and collected. He’s also the main character I am rn bc he’s my favorite and from my current hyperfixation) even tho Marvin is not from Moomin and little my and snufkin aren’t from falsettos. This kind of world with mixing characters and it being so short (only lasted for half of my walk home) is v v uncommon tho it does happen. It is also an example of one of the kinds of situations that happen when I do TCT.

There are three kinds.

One: Real world. This is where the characters (Sometimes just the character I am and sometimes there are others around me) are responding to things that are happening around me activity. Example: Worrying about a test I have, playing a video game, or doing something activity that is happening irl. This can easily bleed into the second type if I am doing something nonspecific like walking home or eating dinner.

Two: Imaginary situations: This is where I am doing something during TCT that I am not doing in the real world. Example: irl I am in bed but durning TCT I am walking around the forest(little irl movement and acting bc I am lying down and I cannot speak bc I might be heared by my dad) or irl I am just home alone but during TCT I am going shopping with another character (a lot of irl movement. I can talk, run around, grab props to use and use them, etc.)

Three: Including other people: This is why it doesn’t affect my social situations negatively. This is where I am interacting with other people and see myself as one character and those around me as others. This usually follows the rules of the forst kind bc I base things around what is actually happening. If I am around my little cousins sometimes I can play with them and suggest what we play using the world I’m focused on at the time (it’s not that weird bc I’m 14 and we don’t see each other that often but when we do we’re all v close and it’s not as weird or forced as it sounds) and I’m the character I am at that time and might even suggest them to be other characters from it. If not this can actually star a branching work with my cousins ocs as characters that I might or might not use if I continue that branch. If I am around friends we don’t play that often anymore bc were all about 14 so we play less and less but there was a long lasting hyperfixation that rly was great for TCT bc my friends where into it at the same time and often played and/or rped as these characters. So sometimes they might play along but most of the time for type three I only imagine them to be other characters. I assign them a character that matches who they are and hang out with them as I act on the way my character as they and build the story in my head as things happen irl. Examples: irl I’m eating dinner at a restaurant with my dad and grandparents but during TCT I am the character eating dinner with the other characters in the world in my characters dining room, irl I am in the ocean on a beach trip with my friends but during TCT I am a Character that is trapped on an island and swimming to somewhere else with the few other characters for company, or irl I am in a car going to a friends house while it’s late with her mom driving us but during TCT I am the character on a train traveling to to town for the first time to go to an inn while I chat with a character that is a stranger (even if irl she’s my best friend) and the nosy lady in front of us who keeps interrupting our generally peaceful train ride

I am always aware that I am doing TCT and usually (I think? I’ve never tried to specifically shut down any “sessions” of TCT) in control of when it stops/starts and there is no inner world. I am aware of what the body is seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. irl but TCT is happening on top of it(?)

If there are other characters besides just me in a scene (unless I’m with other people and assign them a character that suits them in my head) I see them even tho they’re not there? They are invisible but I can tell what they look like and where they are at any given time. In the “scenes” im never “transported” anywhere. Sort of. I can decide where the room I’m in is in the story (like I say that my room is really the inside of a tent or that the restaurant I’m in is the dining room of my character’s house) but it’s the same as how the characters look. I perceive everything as it is but imagine that things look different. This also happens with real people I assign characters to in my head. My eyes see the people but my brain, ig in my minds eye sees what the character they “are” looks like.

There are multiple different reasons that TCT happens for me. Most of the time it’s because I’m bored (I have adhd-pi (the inattentive type) so this happens quite a lot) but I also use it to deal with situations I want to personally distance myself from.

Like because I have sensory issues it’s Awful for me that I have to go out to eat with my grandparents every week and have to hear them chew food. So I start doing TCT and handle things how my character would handle it. If I end up spiraling and breaking down then TCT is torn away and my mind stops thinking of that as I am too preoccupied with the breakdown (usually dealing with personal things so it’s harder to place a character on it)

I have recently started to use TCT to my advantage during breakdowns and either acting as a more stable character they ig to calm themself down OR be Twoot (me) (this is v uncommon for me this past year or so unless it’s to do what I’m explaining now) and have the characters “there with me” to calm me down. It all depends on the specific experience.

What makes me question if madd is what I’m experiencing or not is bc It doesn’t usually affect my social life; if I’m doing TCT I just have my friends/family be other characters (tho I don’t tell them this ofc) and it’s not like an actual dream. I still experience reality while it’s happening and it’s not too vivid (I have memories of the parts of stories like they really happened but as I explained before things seem sort of transparent so they aren’t too detailed) also it’s not third person. I have to experience it in first person weather I’m acting it out (this is ideal, I do this if I’m home alone or walking somewhere alone. If I can’t speak and move around to act them out I mouth things out and imagine that I am doing the things, but not rly bc I imagine doing things in first person if that makes sense, or if I rly have to it all happens inside my head but that’s only if I’m in a social situation where I can’t move around. If I’m in a social situation with friends I can move around in I move and and act in the ways that the character I am at the moment would/ is in my story and have my friends be the characters while I build the story around what is happening irl)

If there’s anything else I should explain but at this time that is all I can think of to share. I hope this makes sense. If it’s not madd do you have any idea what it could be?

I always thought me doing this was normal then when I realized it wasn’t I thought it was just my adhd but I had kind of realized it might be something else and it made me think after I brought up the fact that I did this to my therapy group as a way to distance Myself from situations that are uncomfortable and deal with stress so I decided to do some digging and madd seemed rly close but I thought I’d ask someone before I go and self diagnose let alone talk to my dad about it.

[everythingsf9]

imagine: youngbin as your boyfriend

- you were on a vacation to jeju with your close friends. you girls were having a great time, with nice drinks and long evenings on the beach. one day, while exploring jeju, you got seperated from your friends, due to a sudden big crowd of people. you couldnt find them, and your phone battery was dead. you started stressing, not knowing what to do. you walked around the same small area, afraid of wandering too far on your own. feeling more and more stressed, you felt your tears pressing on. suddenly, someone grabbed your shoulder. it really startled you, and you quickly turned around, hoping to see your friends face. it wasn’t. instead, it was the face of an unfamiliar boy. behind him, you saw eight other boys aswell, all looking at you. your eyes went back to the first boy, who had made you turn around. he had said something to you, but you hadn’t heard it, due to your stress and the sudden apperance of these boys. the boy looked at your obviously confused face, before turning his head around to the other boys. «inseong, get over here, she’s a foreigner» he said, assuming you didn’t speak korean due to the lack of response you gave. as one of the boys from the group started to hurry over, you snapped out of it. «oh no, i’m sorry, i speak korean.» you quickly explained. the first boy gave you a small smile. «i just wondered if you needed any help? you look lost.» you quickly explained that you had lost your friends, and your phone was dead and you didn’t know what to do. the stranger suggested that you could hang together with them for the time being untill your friends came looking for you, and even though you hesitated, you agreed.

- you and the 9 boys were seated at a restaurant, in their outside part. you would be able to spot your friends if they walked by. you were seated next to youngbin, the name of the guy who had originally talked to you. you two were really getting along. you had all ordered some green tea, and you were just chilling. the boys were talking with each other and would include you aswell, which made you feel alot less stressed. you even found at that you all lived in seoul, and had exchanged phone numbers. suddenly, a song you liked started playing over the radio. you didn’t know what the title was, but you always heard it and it was really good. when the chorus came, you started humming along to the song while sipping on your tea. «olleh mamma mia neoneun areumdawo». all the boys quickly looked at you. «y/n, do you like sf9?» asked youngbin. confused, you explained that you didnt know what sf9 was. «this song, its by a group called sf9» youngbin continued to explain to you, with a smirk on his face. you didnt know why he smirked, but you promised him to look it up when you got home. 30 minutes later, your friends walked by, and you say good bye to the group of boys, and thanked them. you promised to keep in touch, before you left.

- 2 weeks later, home in seoul, you suddenly got a kakao message. it was from youngbin. «hey, i kinda wanna hang out again. youre pretty cool»

- after that, you met up with youngbin. he thought it was your first date, you thought you were hanging out as friends.

- you got more and more comfortable with each other over time. you would start doing more casual skinship, sitting closer and sharing food. 3 weeks into hanging out, he had walked you home. you had said good bye, and were on your way in the door. «y/n.» you turned around, and looked at youngbin. «hey... what are we exactly? what’s this between us?» at that moment, you realised you had feelings for youngbin. you two went on your first, real date after that

- he would surprise visit you alot at your apartment. he often brought starbucks drinks with him. one time, you got annoyed because you just came out of the shower, but he just ruffled your hair and said you looked cuter that way.

- when you guys had officially dated for a month, you remember the promise you had made to him to check out the group called sf9. he werent suppose to be here to pick you up for 10 minutes anyways. you found the video for mamma mia, the song you liked. at 00:28, a very familiar face popped up, with a very ugly hair style. you couldn’t believe it. youngbin? you continued watching, and realised slowly but surely that all the boys in the video was the boys who saved you at jeju.

- when youngbin parked outside you apartment, you hurried out and quickly opened the door. «wow, whats the hurry?» youngbin laughed, as you quickly sat yourself down in the car, closed the door and turned your face to him. «when were you planning on telling me that im dating a freaking kpop star? youngbin from sf9?» youngbin just laughed at you, and ruffled your hair.

- youngbin hadn’t told you he was a kpop star because he wanted you to like him because of him, not because he’s a star

- he would bring you on picnics all the time, and he would always pack small, delicious snacks for you two to eat

- your first kiss didnt happen before 2 1/2 months into the relationship, mostly because you didnt want to kiss him. you knew how things like this could ruin an idols career, and you werent gonna risk it before you knew this was serious. however, one night while chilling on your couch, you with your head on his shoulder, he looked over at you, so you looked up, and he just kissed you. he had waited for too long, and he couldnt hold it in anymore

- in public, he didnt show alot of affection. he would maybe put hairstrands behind your ear occasionally, and maybe even hold your hand in secret. thats about it.

- he would definitely give you his jacket, even if you said werent cold. he didnt want you to be uncomfortable

- driving you around, as long as he had time for it, would be something he’d practically volunteer to do. he loved spending any type of time with you

- he would often kiss you randomly on the cheek whenever he felt like it

- he continued to surprise you and warm your heart with little gestures he did. not only to you, but to others aswell. he would give water to stray dogs, put money in street musicians hats and pay for peoples purchases if they couldn’t themself.

- if you were sick, you bet your butt he’s going to be there, helping you feel better again. he put you in blankets, bring you painkillers and water and go out to buy you soups.

- his nicknames for you would be love and jagi. sometimes he’d thrown in an occasional shawty, just to mix it up.

- he loved it when you would come over to eat with the boys. he felt so proud to be dating you, and wanted everyone to see.

- he would be a messy drunk - always calling you to let you know that you meant the world to him. if you were with him he would definitely hang on to you, and maybe even sob a little because he loved you so much. expect kisses from him everywhere

- he would often invite you to hang out while he practice dancing, but it usually ended up with you two talking more than dancing

- everytime you came over, he would put out towels and cloths for you to use, cause he knew he’d be able to convince you into staying the night.

- whenever he was busy with a schedule and you hadnt seen each other in a while, you would facetime and eat your meal together. he would always pretend-feed you through the camera, and you thought it was really cute

- he’d buy you guys casual couple outfits, like tshirts and shoes, so you could match

(nsfw)

- the first time was the same night as your first kiss. the boy really wanted you, after waiting for so long

- he was careful the first time, so you wouldnt be uncomfortable

- after a while, you two started experimenting with roleplaying. his favorite was being a daddy

- sometimes, he was really intimate and gentle, other times he was like the beast himself

- cowgirl and doggy are definitely his favorite positions

- doing it in the bed wasn’t something that happened alot. whenever you and youngbin did it, it was always random, and you did it wherever you where in the house at that time.

- you two had pretty much done it in every room on both your apartment and his dorm. that includes the other members room

- afterwards, he would make patterns with his fingers on your body, connecting your freckles

[13-living-memes]

11 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @hearteu33 my amazing new seventeen buddy *cough* follow her *cough* *cough*

Rules: Answer 11 questions from the person that tagged you and make 11 more for the next people you tag.

first thing you’d do if you met your bias (what would you say)?

Oooh girl don’t put this question on me. Because one) I change my bias every live performance or comeback and two) I’m an illiterate shit who’d probably pass out. I’d probably tell he/she/whoever I’m biasing that they’re doing a good job and I value their existence.

you and your bias’ ship name (wink wink)?

J.coups or Johnifer. My friends and I have given this some serious thought. Depends on who I bias though. I flip flop a lot.

How would a perfect date go (I just really like this question)?

Personally I love cuddling. Like ugh just lying down watching a movie. Any movie. With like rain outside.

favorite thing to do during the holiday season?

Drink hot cocoa. Watch Polar Express. It’s literally the only thing I like about Christmas.

If you had one million dollars, what would you do with it?

I’ve thought about this a couple of times and I decided I’d probably end up randomly giving it when I find charities or people need it. I live a decent life and I don’t think money should change a person. It’d be better off with others than with me

Hot cocoa or coffee?

HOT COCOA

What is love (tbh I’m curious)?

Love is not having the same likes but having the same dislikes. And accepting that love is just a feeling that will fade but remaining together regardless.

Fav kpop group and why?

Seventeen. I mean have you seen these children. I honestly love them because they’re so energetic, uplifting, and I’m never bored. Also, there’s almost no toxicity in this group or even that much in the fandom. The ironic thing is I didn’t want to like them at first cause when I first got into kpop I thought you sold your soul to only one group. But when I “begrudgingly watched 아낀다 my soul flew out my ass. Now my soul is like a fucking horcrux it’s split up so much.

what you want to do after school is over?

I’m going to assume you mean summer break stuff.

1 word. Hummus...

Nah nah probably sleep and catch up on one fine day in Japan and other videos cause I’ve been slipping.

ideal vacation?

London during Christmas it’s so beautiful I could die there and be happy.

favorite season?

Winter or Fall. More so the former just because of all the activities that happen during that time for me.

my questions

1. if you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would you eat?

2. favorite tv show?

3. favorite song by your favorite band?

4. multifandom or unifandom?

5. can you do a cartwheel?

6. do you play any sports?

7. how would your friends describe you?

8. morning or night person?

9. if you wrote a book, what would your “about the author” say?

10. favorite genre of movies?

11. kpop or pop?

anyway yeah i dont know many people on here so i’ll tag people im close and kinda close with and for any of my followers who wanna try this.

@alexsvt @yoonoh-what @ksooeggy @taelephant10 @k-memes @nataliengd

@eternal-sad-face @yes-of-the-yes @blueberryjisoo @ask-svt-hearteu @setmymidnightsorrowsfree

[this-is-a-witty-url]

RIVERDALE LIVEBLOG

LETS FUCKING DO THIS

I like how everyone just vandalizes shit its like… I thought it was the Northside. They don’t get down like that and all that shit

Shows you Northside aint SHIT

Why is a 15 year old kid demanding that the Sheriff in town speak only to him he’s a fucking kid

LOL HIRAM

JUST COMES IN ALL SWEATY

I FUCKING CAN’T HAHAHAHAHA

Oh man this show is too much

BUGHEAD FUCK I LOVE THEM

Scene Exterior, Cue in Betty with the inspirational speech

Lol ‘have you seen this man’ yes. Ive seen a man in a mask. Yes. ive clearly seen this black and white PICTURE OF A MAN IN A MASK.

But i guess if you put two idiots together you might get a genius.

How. Many. Damn. Years.

*slams hands on the table* GIVE DAT BOY AN OSCAR.

Lol oh god archie the bat.

20 years in the slammer. :( noooooo fp

“ I’m really scared “ / “ About what? “

Idk, Jughead. MAYBE YOUR BEST FRIEND IS AFRAID OF A MURDERER THAT NEARLY KILLED HIS DAD?

Ngl tho some cringe acting from cole here i cant help but laugh

Bughead going straight to the mayor gonna fight some crime aw yeah

Okay. im not gonna be picky about continuity but

This just happened after the dance

That all happened in the winter. Like. did i miss something. Or does Riverdale like go through the seasons like … at the speed of a video game?

Mayor McCoy is a shitty mayor.

OH SHIT FIGHTING WORDS FROM FP JONES THE THIRD.

This reggis is hot as fuck what the fuck is this shit

Reggie is a drug dealer? Lolwat

Betty gonna save the world~~~

WHY DO PARENTS JUST RANDOMLY POP UP AT SCHOOL? LIKE. IDGI

Veronica’s family is so awkward idk

IS JUGHEAD LITERALLY SUGGESTING TO BUST HIS FATHER OUT OF PRISON I CANT EVEN

AND LIKE HAHAHAHA OH oh … oh… i gotta suspend my belief but i just can’t do this

Josie is a vixen since when?

Why are they gonna…. Give Grundy… i mean… she’s a fucking pedophile WHY?

STOP👏 NORMALIZING👏 THAT👏 PEDOPHILE👏

I’d kill the bitch myself if i found out she was fucking around with my kid what the fuck

GO HARD OR GO HOME.

Oh royal blood song.

“ You do me a favor, maybe one day you do me a favor “

Those are words that you make with the devil. Watch out.

“ FINE I’LL REACH OUT TO MY GHOULISH FRIEND “

SABRINA?!

Do they always eat with candlelight? Lol

What the fuuuuuuck

What the ffffffuuuuuuufck

Oh my god Veronica

:( u need better parents

Shut up cheryl what was your father’s mercy when your father used Jughead as leverage to do those things?

FUck you.

Reggie seriously channeling so major kpop star vibes i cant even

Gonna plant that Grundy’s ex-seed in there, I see.

Poor pop’s

Riverdale AINT GOT NO LOVE. NO SUPPORT.

THAT TOWN AINT RIDE OR DIE AT ALL.

Super Betty to the rescue

BLACKMAIL. OH SHIT DARK BETTY.

OH. FUCK.

Hahaha sheriff keller’s face i cant he can see right through that boy’s bullshit

Oh man betty saved her man’s dad. Betty is boss bitch.

This entire scene at pop’s diner is KILLING ME

SHOOK’D

[champagnespankzandbacon]

Sunday evening, and it seemed like a good idea…after at glass of rose’.  “I’m going on a cleanse!”…I bellowed to my husband. He has been on a ‘eating healthier and working out more’ routine. He randomly drops to the floor and does sets of 40 push ups. He has also been knocking out more reading; which is NOT my thing. And he listens to a lot of Podcasts…which I do enjoy. But one of the books/podcasts he told me about was “Fit for Life”, in which the dude eats ONLY fruit until noon every day and has for 20 years! Twenty. Twenty years. If some dude can do it for twenty years, surely I can do it for a week!? Right? So, Monday morning…off to the grocery we went (before I changed my mind) and bought ALL of the veggies and fruits we could agree on, and some we didn’t…and coconut milk, coconut water, coconut blend. Here we GO! This blog will be a daily recap & proof of me not killing anyone due to lack of intake of pasta and champagne…. #pray #alliby

See…random push up sessions. Moe is NOT impressed.

Monday 4pm. Well,  I kind of want a huge bowl of pasta and bacon right now. Really, it’s not too bad. Breakfast; I had a smoothie. Got the banana, strawberries and mango out and I was ready to go. Now, I have never cut a mango. And apparently there is a method and I didn’t do it right…so the little punk ended up butchered and in the trash. Fail #1. But I sure did enjoy my banana, strawberry and orange smoothie! Lunch was a tomato and avocado salad….if I closed my eyes, I almost fooled myself to think it was cake. #AtLeastIdidntCutMyself #damnMango #EveryoneISstillAlive

yes, I know this is a bit obsence. I have to entertain myself…

Tuesday Morning.  I’m not “I need to eat a snickers hungry”…but I sure would like some bacon. Instead, I took my frustration out on a watermelon. I was not happy finding out that it was not seedless. But I guess that means it has not been genetically modified? Hell, I don’t know. I do know that it took me twice as long to cut it up and clear all the seeds out before storing it….that was fun. I better feel like Superwoman at the end of this week.

Tuesday Lunch. I just ate enough watermelon to sustain a small vegan army….or at least to make me pee every 20 minutes for the next several hours. Sidebar; I really need to wash my hair, but I am not mentally prepared to blow dry it. #ugh

Tuesday night. I broke. A soon as the hubby got home from work…”Open the liquor cabinet”. You see, we have it locked because we have two boys, and we aren’t stupid. But, I didn’t fall tooooo far off the ‘raw wagon’. In fact, it wasn’t even off the seat of the wagon! It was a 1/2 a shot of Tito’s (Gluten, fat, carb & sugar free), sparkling water and watermelon…and I do have to say it was quite tasty. Dinner wasn’t to yummy, I am not going to lie. I can’t even type it out…the poor hubby ate it with me. #blessHim

Gluten Free, Organic 🙂 and VERY refreshing!

Wednesday Morning….we are on the road to NOLA. (business dinner) But, I mean really? I have to do this in the BEST place to eat in the country? shit. But, no worries…this OCD chick already looked at the menu online and I know exactly what I’m going to order for dinner. Lunch consisted of sashimi & mineral water with lime at Tsunami’s…I can’t complain about that!!! And I got a compliment on my outfit as SOON as I walked in the door. That will put some wind in your ‘raw’ sails! #yaaasQueen

I am realizing that it is VERY hard to come to NOLA and be at our favorite hotel, even thought this trip is for business for the hubs, and NOT drink and eat my heart out. This is the ultimate test. I mean, that is what you do…when in Rome.  At the current moment, I am trying to convince the hubs to stop working for 15 min and come downstairs with me to the Carousel Bar, sit in our favorite spot and people watch with me. #hesNotMoving #WorkWork #MayhaveToshowSomeCleveage #Kidding!

The hubs is on call after call for work… So I go downstairs to get inspired. Notice my ROAR organic drink in the corner of the pic? OMG…SO good! He is NOT moving from this spot anytime soon….he loves his job, thank goodness! #lovethatman

Now I’m sitting in a window seat…writing, watching. I LOVE people watching. And in NOLA there is a never-ending stream of entertainment. Locals, NOLA regulars, tourists, street performers, suits…and it was about 3ish and this is the time where the ‘day shift’ is heading out of the French Quarter and the ‘night shift’ is heading in. Oh…and of course, a bachelorette party. Complete with open toed high heels and headed straight for the street slime of Bourbon Street! Hep C here we come! Kidding…but for realz. Bless their little 24 yr old hearts. #NightTime #OnlyPediCab #orUberforMe #ILOVENolaButIDontlikeSlimeOnMyShoes

Thursday…I wake to the hubby typing away, getting ready for an early business breakfast. He hears me stirring and offers me a “hot tea”. HOT TEA? “I would like a coffee, please put me a k-cup to brew.” I am a coffee drinker. Even with this raw diet thing, coffee is a NON negotiable. First I drink the coffee then I do the things….and I am NOT very pleasant before coffee. The hubs looks at me with this cute grin and says “I drank both of the coffee cups…you can run one of the pods again…?.” (my eyes are about to pop out of my head).  “No” I say in disgust, disappointment, “I will order room service and it will be here in 2 hours…”  Good thing Monteleone room service has always been quick and within 20 min I had my coffee and fruit tray. Praise the coffee gods! In the hubs defense, he did offer to shower and go downstairs and get me a cup of coffee. But, in my coffee-less decision-making, I opted for room service. #ItwasAGoodChoice

Friday. Still eating fruit.

Saturday morning, I went to a local organic farmers market, Inglewood Farms, and stocked up on veggies, some chicken, eggs, even bacon! I picked up what I thought was squash & zucchini …turns out it was cucumbers. #fail #IDidntKnowThereWereYellowCucumbers? #farmersMarketGoober #IdespiseCucumbers

For lunch, we went to our usual Saturday lunch spot. Spirits food & friends in Alexandria, LA. It is a SUPER yummy restaurant and locally owned. If you are ever in Alex, stop in and eat/drink there. Really cool outdoor patio, pet friendly…if your dog is cool, LOL. Now, it is VERY hard to go here and not just chow down. But I was very good, had the Tuna Poke. Great as usual and I had only one champs cocktail, not as usual. I mean, I have been good for 6 days! My body is sooooo used to champs almost everyday. It was so good, not going to lie.

Sunday. Trip to Monroe for Fathers Day church and lunch for the hubs grandfather who is a young 94. Backing it up a few…while we are getting ready, I ask the hubs “Where are we going for lunch?” He tells me…they are just doing something easy and picking up pizza. (Well, that is just great. I am glad I asked! Men….) So, in a rush, I pack up my lunch; fruit, an avocado, etc. in my chilled bag and we get on the road.  It was a lovely day and the hubs even stopped at a grocery before church and I picked up some fresh sushi…all was forgiven. (got rid of most of the rice)

Sunday night. Chicken Cordon Blue-ish was on the menu. Now I call it ‘ish’ because I adapted the recipe…on the fly. I hammered out the pasture raised, organic chicken breasts and stuffed with fresh, organic dino kale, that had been lightly sautéed in non-salted, organic butter and garlic. Then laid down Turkey slices and a small amount of shredded mozz cheese. (the only think that was not organic on this dish was the sliced turkey, mozz cheese and bread crumbs). Rolled each up and secured with toothpics…in the oven for 50 min at 350. In the meantime, I decided to try something I had NEVER done before. Now, I am a night owl, and my nighttime routine, after everyone else gets fed and to bed is a little TV time. I DVR my shows and BRAVO, HGTV and Food Network are the majority of the recordings. I have been on a “The Next Food Network Star” kick and recently they made hollandaise sauce from scratch and topped over a perfectly poached egg. Like old school way, in the pot, with vinegar, stirring and dropping in the egg… I AM ON IT! I can DO THIS! So out comes the organic eggs I just got the day before at the farmers market…and I am ready to make some sauce and poach some eggs!

HOLY MOLY…nothing will show you how OUT of shape you are in your forearms like whisking a hollandaise sauce for 5 minutes straight, then over the water for 15 seconds…then off…then more wisking… then adding components and wisking the whole time. I felt like a beast! Now on the poaching. Im not going to bore you with the details, but lets just say I may have missed my calling! My first three poached eggs were perfection. I placed them on top of the Cordon Blue-ish….and sweet mother of organics, it was heaven on a plate! I wish I would have videoed the moment we cut into the egg. I was really proud of myself! Here is the recipie for Gordon Ramseys Eggs Benedit..it has the poach & sauce directions. I encourage you to YouTube if you have never done it before. I didn’t use tarragon, and added more lemon juice…I like my sauce tangy.

Monday….I made it. One week of eating RAW. I weighed myself and I gained a lb. WHAT the heck? But I FEEL different, I am sleeping better, my clothes fit better. My IBS isn’t toooo much better, but that is a whole different issue. I didn’t do this to loose weight, although I can see it having that effect in the long run. I did this for health, to feel better.

So what did I learn and what will I do from this point on? I learned that I CAN do what I set my mind to do, no matter how difficult it may seem at first. I thought…No Champagne for a week? RAW for a week? WHAT??  It is one day at a time, one meal at a time, one choice at a time.  I will continue with the fruit until noon, occasional splurges, I’m sure. (#brunch) I will READ labels more. We put CRAP in our bodies and in our kids bodies. Stop that shit! I will use organic more…and we used organic a lot, but I can do better for me and my family.  If only there was organic champagne…

You, me, we…WE CAN do what we set our minds and bodies to do. Are you scared to challenge yourself? To try something new? Whatever you are finding yourself up against…just try it. What is the worst that could happen? You could fail, yes. So what! Who freaking cares. You could also totally win and rock it! And friends, it is so worth trying. 

Much Love

KP

My “Raw” Week Sunday evening, and it seemed like a good idea...after at glass of rose'.  "I'm going on a cleanse!"...I bellowed to my husband.