#i have tuesday and wednesday off this week to so i'm hoping i'll be able to write
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okay plan of attack today is. eat lunch, read for 30 minutes because i have been neglecting that, and then work on my madaleo fic. maybe i'll do some requests too if anyone has any for the end of the year?
#i have tuesday and wednesday off this week to so i'm hoping i'll be able to write#esp working on my big bang fic to get it to over 5k words so i can start seriously editing it in time for posting#i doubt it'll be fully finished by the posting period i'm just hoping to hit my minimum word count with it#and maybe do more of it later... though i'm writing a unit i dont normally write for it which#is not helping my motivation to finish it. why did i do this to myself#shay speaks#not writing
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Fraud | Part 1 | Yandere All Might x Hero!Reader
(A/N: So I decided to start this instead of the Reiner one (which I have some drafts off for the future don't worry. But I'm currently rewatching the show right now so I'm just particularly more inspired by this one. So if/when I do the AOT one I'm not sure. Most likely not for a while unless I feel super inspired by it. And if so I'll probably write it all out and then post it on an additional day once a week. Since I usually post Break Me Slowly on Monday and now this on Tuesday, if I decide to do it I most post it on a Wednesday basis. I'm not sure. Also this won't follow canonical story line! For a little background, reader's hero name is Shade, and their quirk is that they can create shadow copies of their enemies. But thank you for reading and comment to be added to the taglist!)
WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, etc.
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The world's symbol of peace and justice, a hero for all. Great and mighty. People all across the world knew him, he was the ultimate authority on this planet. Respected and revered.
All Might. The Symbol of Peace.
As a pro, Shade of course respected him above all other heroes, he was the ultimate role model that everyone should look up to and adore. Admittedly that had to do with her desire to become just like him since she was a bit of a fangirl. But regardless, there was nothing so bad about wanting to follow his ideals, was there?
She was determined to meet him one day and make an impression. Hopefully, he would see her talent and invite her to be one of his sidekicks. It wouldn't be totally uncommon, Sir Nighteye was already his right hand man, surely a hero as busy as him could use some more help to keep Japan in its state of reigning peace.
Ever since she was little she dreamed of becoming a pro just like him, she enjoyed watching his battles and keeping up with the news of his latest feats to inspire herself even on her daily commute, who wouldn't want a chance to impress their idol by embodying the same ideals he has?
Besides, her success as a pro was...lacking, to say the least. Her quirk was impressive enough, creating shadows of her enemies and even comrades to fight with her in battle. However the problem lied with the fact that some people believed her quirk seemed rather villainous from outward perspective, apart from some of the teens who enjoyed more intense heroes she had a small fanbase. Most of the ones who did follow her stopped after they discovered her personality didn't match her hero persona at all.
A boost from All Might's agency would really help her brand.
Eventually she could go out more on her own and maybe in form a team with her new found friend and mentor.
"Wake up Shade! Unless you want to be sprayed with acid in the face!?"
On the scene of the crime several pros faced off against a dastardly villain, his quirk was to spew acid from his mouth, and the power of it was disintegrating her shadows. It always seemed like the moment she had a chance to make a name for herself it was against a villain who completely outmatched her quirk type.
"I'm awake, okay? I've got it."
Nothing was able to touch this villain, all hope seemed to be lost until the laugh she had gotten so familiar with filled the air.
"Fear not citizens, hope has arrived!"
An expression of wonder and awe comes across her face when the gust of wind followed by the monstrous form of the Number One Hero steps into the scene.
"Because I am here."
One punch is all it ever took for the criminals to surrender and admit defeat, but this was the first time she had seen him in a professional setting, he was even more amazing then she ever could have believed!
Now was her chance to become a hero just like him.
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"Well done fellow pros, that evil-doer was certainly a heavy hitter, but all of your valiant efforts to keep the peace are much appreciated." His smile never wavered.
"You were amazing All Might, I think I can speak for all of us when we say thank you for saving our butts back there. None of our quirks were really suited for it." Shade's giddy expression never left, truly in awe of the man before her.
"Anytime, but I don't think I've seen you before, still a newbie I take it."
She blushes ever so slightly. "Yes sir, I'm just starting out, my hero name is Shade, it's super nice to meet you-"
"The pleasure is all mine ma'am," His stare was piercing, as if deciding if she really was a hero. "now I must be off, a hero's always got somewhere to be!"
With that he flew off, leaving her behind even more inspired than before.
"He's the most amazing hero in the universe, one day I'll be just like him-"
==============================================
All Might returned to Nighteye religiously pouring over his computer screen, only around his sidekick could the hero's mask fall slightly. His smile disappearing.
"Excellent work on that takedown, your approval rating keeps going up."
"I want you to do something for me. There's a new hero in town, goes by Shade. A newcomer. Find out everything you can about her."
"Why? Another one of your little projects?"
"You could say that."
"All Might this is twice this year now."
"Does that matter? It's not my fault the last ones couldn't handle me."
He rolls his eyes. "I'll find what I can. But go easy this time, alright? I barely was able to cover it up last time."
"Agreed. I'll be more careful."
He shut the door behind him to his personal quarters, staring down at the city below. Being the strongest in the world came with a deep sense of dissatisfaction, he was untouchable, unbreakable.
He needed something to break.
#fraud#all might#yagi toshinori#mha#boku no hero academia#all might x reader#all might x you#all might mha#all might bnha#yandere all might x reader#yandere all might#mha toshinori#bnha toshinori#toshinori yagi x reader#toshinori x reader#toshinori yagi#toshinori yagi x you
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All right peeps and geeks,
I've been thinking and here's how it's going to go down. I'm planning on starting up streaming again in the new year (yay new PC build for Christmas) but that means there's things I need to do to prep for it. That does mean I'm going to have less time than I normally have.
So I'm going to switch up my posting schedule. Instead of daily content you'll get five days of content, and I'll have the weekends off
Monday and Friday will be group chat
Tuesday and Thursday will be the regular
Wednesday will be women only
This will give me time on the weekends to prep everything for the week, and still be able to stream during the week
I also think this new schedule will help alleviate stress while still making content
I will still do Yule SMAU Day on the 21st
Hope this will still feed you silly beans 💖
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Watching A Queer Movie (that I've never seen) Every Day for a week: a log
I decided that to cope with not being able to be as openly queer as I would like, that I'd watch some queer movies that I haven't seen before for an entire week because why the hell not.
alternate title: ''op is using tf out of his free tubi account''
I decided I'd alternate between wlw and mlm movies in a pattern.
I'll update this list every time I watch a new one
Day #1 - Monday - But I'm A Cheerleader
Year: 1999
Review: Oh my god! What a great way to start the week. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of this movie. It's campy and fun but it's also important and very ahead of its time. The romance is excellent and the characters are vibrant and likable. also omg I forgot that the coach was played by RuPaul for a minute. Easily one of my new favorite movies. Love it!
My Rating: 10/10
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Day #2 - Tuesday - Maurice
Year: 1987
Review: oh my goddddd. Why is this the most made for me movie ever. They were like yeah let's put Hugh Grant, Rupert Graves, and James Wilby in a gay movie in set edwardian england. I'm still reeling from the emotional damage (in a good way) that I have from watching this movie. I love this movie so much. but i hope clive dies in a hole all alone and that alec and maurice live a happy life together. Once again another movie that's going straight (gay) into my favorite movies.
My Rating: 10/10
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Day #3 - Wednesday - Jennifer's Body
Year: 2009
Review: First queer horror movie of the week WOOOHOOOO! I fucking love movies like this so fuck yeah. This was a fantastic movie that reminded me of one of my other favorite movies, Like Minds. Also Amanda Seyfried not only do I have a huge crush on her but she's also an AMAZING ACTRESS holy shit. Only half a point off because of a slight lack of gayness at some parts (still very gay though) but all-in-all, another movie going straight (gay) to my faves list.
My Rating: 9.5/10
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COMING UP NEXT DAYS:
Day #4 - Thursday - Wilde
Year: 1997
Review: N/A (I'm so fucking excited to watch this though. I love Oscar Wilde sm)
My Rating: N/A
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Day #5 - Friday - Carmilla
Year: 2019
Review: N/A
My Rating: N/A
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Day 6 - Saturday - Another Country
Year: 1984
Review: N/A
My Rating: N/A
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Day 7 - Sunday - Suggestions?
Please suggest a wlw movie in the reblogs I'm kinda still trying to find one that's free
#movies#queer#lgbt#lgbtq+#lgbtqia#lgbt community#lgbt history#lgbt media#queer cinema#queer movies#queer movie#lgbt movies#queer films#queer history#maurice#maurice 1987#but i'm a cheerleader#but i'm a cheerleader 1999#jennifer's body#jennifer check#jennifers body#amanda seyfried#megan fox#wilde#wilde 1997#oscar wilde#gay#lesbian#mlm#wlw
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TW: Topics Of Suicide
The Week After I Killed Myself.
Monday,
I watched as the time ticked slower and slower,
I could feel my pulse in my hands,
Burning edges to a paper that can never be read how it was wrote,
I forgot to leave a letter,
Now my parents are left to wonder where they went wrong.
Tuesday,
The news reached my best friend,
I don't know what he does, but I wish I was there to comfort him.
The news comes on the same,
Police chase,
The weather,
Politics,
And the weather again,
But my parents don't watch.
The faucet in the bathroom drips,
Raising the water bill because I forgot to make sure it was fully off.
My mother would flip it off for me and not say a thing even after it being the fifth time that week,
But now she's trying to remember the way I used to play in the sand,
Before the move,
Before she knew what was happening to me.
When she thought she could still save me.
The school is notified,
But my grades don't weigh me down where I am at now,
I don't have to try so hard to matter anymore.
Wednesday,
The letters in my room are just letters now.
Ones that will only be read maybe once more,
Though it'll never be said how many times it saved a life, I'd hope you knew.
My stuffed animals have not slept in days,
Without a cold body to warm what place do they have in this old house?
The neighbors find out.
Condolences are sent.
Not one has my real name on it.
Thursday,
The funeral I arranged for Saturday,
Because my mom is always off work then.
I do not know who comes, or what is said,
I do not know where or how I was buried,
I was not old enough to pick it for myself,
Knowing my parents I'm probably a diamond, or a tree.
The letters have been found.
They know.
They know I loved you,
And you loved me.
I would have joked about how awkward it'll be when you see my parents again,
But my mom hugs you this time
And says she hasn't seen her baby happy like that in years,
And you both forget where you are for a moment ,
Dream,
Hope a little it's a different situation.
Friday,
My mom is going through my stuff.
My phone first,
She'll find out we were more than friends,
She'll tell my friend I am gone
And she won't know if it's a joke,
But when she sees what I've written
The sinking feeling in her stomach will be all too familiar
After, she'll go to the store,
See the man who always used to ask me how I am,
And break down in front of the produce.
Saturday,
The baby breath is half dead,
The lavender makes the air tense,
There's a mix of regular clothes and formal wear
I would have laughed at anyone who bothered to put on a suit.
I would have said how pretty you looked
My mom compiled home videos and photos from the last year's,
Though there's only a few she thinks are really me,
And they're usually the ones where someone else is with me.
She says the usual:
The "kind"
The "smart"
The "talented"
The "too young for this"
Or maybe she'd say nothing at all.
Ask you if you'd like to say anything and I couldn't hear it.
I always wanted to know what you thought of me.
Sunday,
My room is still how I left it,
The coats on the hanger
And the boots on the outside the closet door.
The books,
Dusty and un-bookmarked,
They'll search for me here,
But none of the words will sound like my voice,
And my mother will keep the video of me.
The video of me as a kid laughing close to her chest.
She wonders where I went when I got older.
How was this grave her baby?
How could I leave her behind after all of the things I said without an apology.
After all that's been done for me,
It was a waste to love me,
That's what somebody would think,
But I won't know for sure.
Whether im in Heaven, Hell, or Nirvana,
I won't come back.
I won't be able to run my hand through your hair,
And I cant feel the warmth of another hand to remind me I'm still here.
I can't hear the music,
I can't hear the screams or the pleas,
I'll be at peace,
But I'll be no more than I am now.
#poems and poetry#poetic#poets on tumblr#poetry#writers and poets#poems on tumblr#poem#love poem#original poem#suic1de#mental health
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Entry #52 Oct 23rd '23
#YurasLife #MovieMonday #HalloweenWeek #Thriller #Horror #Slasher #Gore
𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲 - This is Halloween~
This is Halloween~ Pumpkins scream in the dead of night~.
It's that time of the year again! Isn't it just OH, so exciting! If you've been here a while, you might know how much I LOVE holidays ♡ And Halloween, of course, holds a special place in my heart. Wouldn't be able to tell you why, but it's always with great joy that I spend october, and especially the last week, preparing, decorating, and celebrating ~.
Same as last year, to get in the mood this week before the day comes, I've prepared a small list with movies to watch! Some were added to the ranking last time, classics that simply can't be left out–. And some, well, are just here to enjoy and have fun with friends at night (*^ω^)
With nothing else to say, I hope you enjoy this year's selection!
Monday 23rd
Title: Scream franchise (1996-2023) - Director: Wes Craven, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Christopher Landon
It is not a Halloween movie night if there's not at least ONE Scream movie in there. That's it. That's everything there is to say. Ah, how do you even explain this franchise? To this day, it remains a must watch for any and all horror lovers. There is no further discussion about it. I'm taking the holiday as an excuse! Still need to watch the new drop. So do the same, and if you haven't watched them all, make yourself a favor and sit through them tonight!
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Tuesday 24th
Title: Hostel (2005-2011) - Director: Eli Roth, Scott Spiegel
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆
Wednesday 25th
Title: Slither (2006) - Director: James Gunn
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆
Thursday 26th
Title: The Evil Dead franchise (1981-2023) - Director: Sam Raimi, Federico Alvarez, Lee Cronin
It's the hand. It will ALWAYS be the hand. Picture this, you're watching a terribly gore-y, comical horror movie. You can't get past the 1st person POV of the evil spirit sprinting through the woods, trying to take the movie seriously as it's so old. And then, to top it off, a possessed hand wants to end its former owner's life. That's all you need to know to understand why this is here. A comic, a computer game, a movie, a tv show, and a musical. That's the cultural impact of The Evil Dead!
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Friday 27th
Title: House of 1000 corpses (2003) - Director: Rob Zombie
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆
Saturday 28th
Title: The Strangers (2008) - Director: Bryan Bertino
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟☆
Sunday 29th
Title: Paranormal Activity (2006) - Director: Oren Peli.
Lets be honest for once. There's only one good Paranormal Activity movie, and that's simply the first one. Maybe it was the fear it induced, the novelty of the idea and the filmmaking, or simply the fact it made it seem like such an ordinary occurrence, like it could happen to you at any time. But it is, undoubtedly, an axiety inducing, terrifying movie. And I am more than convinced it deserves a little spot in todays list.
Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟☆
Did I pick your favorite movie, or did I miss it? It's always so hard picking so little movies to share and have fun with for these dates! Never know if I want to keep the list old school, modern, psychological, or bloody! Regardless, this is the list I'm going with myself! A bit of everything, I reckon, and I know I'll enjoy it.
If you have your own horror list for the week, what do you have in it? And if you don't like horrors, what do you watch for Halloween? (^w^)
Can't wait for next week to come already! Still have so much to share the next few days, though. I'm super excited, and I hope you are too!
I'll go now, or I'll fall behind on my other plans! But I'll be back tomorrow with more, so don't miss me much! All the love, my little pumpkins~.
Stay safe out there! -Yura ♡
🧡: @clubwnderland [💙] @shin-haneul @neonvandalsxcb @neverland-fairies @silcntxnight @urluvlyfe @oppositesattraxt @theboys-oc @norselegends-cb @jinju-oc @fallenangels-cb @domxbot @moonlightchn @cyberpunkcollection @coffeexdreamcb @thetoplinecb @vandalsxcb @teyvatcb @lunaaofthemoon @oc-honeys @3rachabot @darkloversxcb @yandereskz @darkkingdomscb @johnnys-toes-cb @markshands-cb @domrachaa @soyeon-cb @lucky-charmsanhwa @livealittleoc-cb @reve-rv @evicted-oc @littleboywooyoungie @vampireskz @demonljy @welcome-to-maniac @shuhua-cb @theonesxcb @bpkhybrids-shelter @night-racers @firstkill-cb @fearlessxcb @fantasyaespa @minsour-r @redlight-cb @dreamtech-cb @chxithex @hearthstone-apothecary @elemental-dream @kimheebby
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Hello Kiko!! I come with well wishes!!
Life has been really busy recently. Monday was nothing, but then Tuesday was back to school after spring break.
Wednesday was a busy night with youth group, and then Thursday I had my first day back to work for the season. After my shift I went straight to the skating rink. Safe to say I left at 4:15 pm and didn't get back til 10:40 pm..
Then on the weekend I was off to a spring retreat! Lo and behold I end up with a cold and a sore leg from sleeping on the hard floor...
Next time I am DEFINITELY bringing an air mattress.
Now having time to myself is hitting me like a freaking TRUCK.
Being busy is a great feeling though.
It has its ups and downs, that's for sure.... But now I'm just feeling RESTLESS.
Anyway, enough about me. I haven't checked up on your page in around a week! I hope you have been better.
I am planning on making a tiramisu cake at some point. Perhaps I'll share some pics when I do make it!
So since I just made that statement, here's my question about Rinko:
What is Rinko's opinion on Italian food, like tiramisu cakes? (Unless she's ate one before and I wasnt paying attention, lol)
Well, that's all I've got for now! Have an amazing day/night! 💕
-🐬
Hello sweet 🐬 anon!!
Being busy definitely helps keep you occupied! I always found my busiest semesters in school, and busiest periods at work, pass so quickly. On the flip side, I always found myself burnt out and exhausted by the end of those periods. I hope you’re able to get some rest and recharge!!
Tiramisu?? So, fun fact about Kiko: tiramisu is my FAVORITE DESSERT EVER. I was able to do a study abroad in Italy when I was in undergrad, and my NUMBER ONE GOAL while I was there was to try as many tiramisu as I could. They were all incredible. It’s still my favorite. Please feel free to share pictures of your creation!!
As for Rinko’s thoughts on Italian food? 🤔
Rinko loves pretty much all food, so I imagine she likes it! A fairly popular Japanese dessert is a matcha tiramisu, and she LOVES matcha, so I think she’d like regular tiramisu, too! While I didn't really write other foods into Another Level, Rinko and Gojo have shared hundreds of meals over the years, so it's safe to say that they've had Italian food of some kind before 😊
SO TO ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION: I THINK RINKO WOULD LOVE TIRAMISU AND ITALIAN FOOD. 😂
I HOPE THIS ACTUALLY MADE SENSE 🫠
#🐬 anon#sweet anons#sweet asks#another level asks#goinko asks#rinko asks#kurisaki rinko asks#gojo x original female character#gojo and rinko ask
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Welp it didn't take my brain too long to already start getting anxious about the job. I'm currently worrying about all the days I already have plans made to do things and I'm worried that I'll either not be able to have them off or if it'll be bad to take the days off so soon. There's two weekends in March I'm going to be unavailable and a Friday that I wanted to go do something with my family. We haven't fully discussed availability yet. Just a little bit in the interview before my job offer. I only kinda said that maybe Wednesdays, Fridays and weekends would work best for me. Which is true. Tuesdays and Thursdays would be worse. And I have most weekends available just not every weekend. And this availability/schedule hasn't been set in stone. I even told her that my household schedule is kinda a mess and can be challenging for me to schedule around. Not impossible but I means each week might be a little different.I just hope when I tell the manager that I need these two weekends off because I've already made plans for them and have dropped money on it that she'll understand. I think she will. She did say the schedules were flexible and recognized that I may already have some plans. I'm just not sure when to bring it up. She said she was gonna send me an email by the end of this week with more information about next steps so maybe I'll wait for that and then put the schedule in my response? Gah I don't know! I wish there was a secret handbook for shit like this.
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My introspective- week 2/3 of @2024-grimoire-challenge
Finally got some time to write up my review! Joining two weeks together:)
Second week of the challenge, the prompts have been much more personal opinion/belief focused. I don't mind them, but it was a lot more work- especially since I've been super busy lately (exam season is starting+two concerts this week>_<). Thing is, since I'm on my own path and don't really follow one way of thinking/believing, my answer to a lot of the questions was "I don't know". For example, "where does magic come from"? I don't know that. Honestly, I don't even know what magic really is, and I use it all the time! My notes ended up being mostly about my experiences and thoughts instead of belief. I actually like that; I'm hoping that those will change somewhat during this year and I'll be able to do the topic "Magic 2" and reflect on all the new viewpoints I'll acquire.
Saturday, 13.1. The week's almost over, but I'm just about halfway done with the prompts- I did monday (magic), tuesday (witch) and wednesday (personal practice) journal prompts and started on my plant research (chamomille). I knew I'd fall behind for exams, but I didn't know it would be this soon >_<
Wednesday, 17.1. I've skimmed trough the prompts for week 3 and they seem like they'd take me a long time, so off I go to study genetics instead xD
Wednesday, 24.1. Finally getting some time! I'm taking today off before I go back to studying. Week 3 is all about energy (something I sorely lack right now lol). In my own practice, I most connect to nature/it's energy. Not only for energy in my spells, but also for my own. I garden and take care of a small orchard; my room has plants wherever there's enough sunlight, and my furniture is a bunch of mismatched wood types. It's a small room, but I've still found some space for my 200 and 45 l aquariums (~53 and 12 gallons) that are also full of plants. Honestly, they really help me with burnout, anxiety and managing my energy levels- I can relax and watch the fishies, get happy whenever I see a new leaf on my hoyas and after a hard day of work in the garden I usually have more spoons than I've started with:)
(plant/fish tax)
I adore the Sun for its light and warmth, but don't care as much for the other celestial bodies. I admire water, air and fire but mostly in the context of nurturing, feeding and renewing the life around them. I have a special reverence for earth, which, given my line of studies and interests, is pretty self explanatory. Gods and spirits are, in my opinion, personifications/avatars/etc. of nature and human traits. As such, when working with deities, I prefer to go straight to the source- their domains. I have a spot in the forest where I give Veles my offerings; I bring leafed branches and flowers to my altar for Jarilo and I prune grapevines while asking Dionysus for his blessings.
With it being winter right now, I don't go outside as much as I should. For some reason, I get more anxious in cold weather and taking a walk alone becomes quite a challenge and thus leads to me not having enough energy/brain power to get my work done.
With that in mind, I think taking a long walk should count for my energy work this week!
#2024 grimoire challenge#grimoire challenge#end of week introspective#witch#witchcraft#farmboyprince#daily witchcraft
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💜 !!Blog Update!! 💜
It's been a while since I've done one of these, so here's a little update on what I've been thinking about for this blog!
Currently -
I've decided that for now, I'll be posting a new fic or chapter on Monday's & Friday's and posting a head cannon or moodboard on Wednesday's.
Because I'm Australian, I go off my own timezone which is AEDT. So really, I'm posting on Sundays, Thursdays & Tuesdays for some. I'll continue to do my best to post at 5PM AEDT.
I hope to be able to post more during the week when I'm not so busy with my course work. I have school holidays as of Tuesday this week so that will allow for more writing time.
Requests are still currently closed, I've been picking away at them and the number of current requests is getting smaller and smaller. I'm looking at re-opening them either when I've hit single digits or when I've completed all current requests.
As of right now, a lot of my focus as been on getting requests done.
Things to Come -
I hope to start the 'song series' where I write a fic based of a song from my custom made playlist. At this state, I'm not sure if I want to open this to requests but it is something I've thought about.
I'm also trying to think of things that are more interactive for you as a follower, even if it's just doing a poll post on a Tuesday & Thursday, that way my blog is always active and hopefully more entertaining.
&& that is pretty much it. I'm always open for suggestions and ideas from you guys to see what you're into more or what you'd like to see on this blog. I do like to think of this blog as more of an our blog rather than my own.
Anyways, feel free to let me know your suggestions, ideas of comments if you have any 💜
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Fifty
Hi there. I'm fifty years old today, and the last couple of weeks I've felt every bit of it. I'm mostly writing this on Wednesday night. Mostly. I'm sure I'll have other things I wanna say come up before I hit the Post button.
C2E2 came and went. It was alright. I sold some copies of WAR BIRDS and TAKEDOWN, wish I'd sold more, but I've heard others had a really slow show as well. I didn't even really do BarCon like I was wont to do pre-pandemic (and OK, even a little post-pandemic); Friday night died early, and Saturday I just didn't feel like it, even as it hit me halfway to walking to the bars. Don Cardenas pointed out to me that this was the third C2E2 in 18 months, which once he said that kinda put things in perspective. The next one is not until late April 2024, so maybe there will be a bit more enthusiasm for the event on all sides by that time. Maybe by then, I'll have something else out to sell to people too.
(Which reminds me, something I prophesized last post thankfully did NOT come to pass, when Brandon Johnson won the Chicago mayoral race ahead of White Rage MAGA Chud in Dems Clothing, Paul Vallas. Thank gawd. Now Johnson just needs to be a better mayor than the last few. It's a low bar to clear, but somehow Rahm Emmanuel and Lori Lightfoot couldn't clear it…)
If you are in suburban Chicago, I'll be tabling at the mini comic con the Schaumburg Public Library is hosting on Saturday 4/15/2023 from 1pm - 4pm CDT. It's my local library, and if I wanted to I could walk there. It's the library system I grew up in. My daughter works there, as a matter of fact. Very pleased to be doing so. Gene Ha and many other local artists will be a part of it. Please say hi if you are coming by.
Speaking of WAR BIRDS, next Tuesday, 4/18/2023, will be a second launch of sorts for the book, as it will finally be available in bookstores, as well as Amazon and Kindle. So hopefully everyone who was not able to get a copy at their local comic shops because they didn't order and/or get any can get a copy. (MY local, who I've been shopping at for DECADES [well, OK, there was a break from when I was living in Indy] didn't get any in on release day. But that may have been Diamond fuckery.) In any event, Tuesday is the bookstore release date, and I hope you can get one then if you didn't get one previously. (And if you did, THANK YOU!)
I mentioned a Project I Couldn't Name last post. Pleased to say I've turned it in, way ahead of when I was told to, so hopefully there'll be some news on that front I can actually share soon.
I saw Depeche Mode! It was amazing. That's it, that's the review. (The opener, Kelly Lee Owens, also really good!) I can't wait to see them again in November.
(I was in the middle of writing this when I found out Dan Gaines, the owner of my Other Local, Comic Carnival in Indianapolis, has passed. Hadn't talked to him since I left Indy. So sorry to hear of his passing. My condolences to his family, loved ones, friends and everyone at Comic Carnival.)
I keep putting off something I've been wanting to write about here, and I'm going to be doing it once more, as it is now my birthday, and I have a meeting in about forty minutes for something I've been wanting to do for a very very long time, and thought the door was closed for decades, but it has reopened recently. So I am going to do that.
Thank you everyone. Talk soon.
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So.... Tomorrow's my last day of onboarding, and I was like, "cool I'll finally get a break", (I worked Thursday-Monday at my retail job, and then started training at this one on Tuesday) but then they scheduled my shadow shifts for Saturday-Monday!! With a staff meeting on Tuesday!!!
And the shifts at this new place (including this week's training) are starting at, like, 830-930 in the morning, which is VERY EARLY for me!!! 😭😭😭
Honestly, I'm not, like, mad that they scheduled me like this; I'm kind of glad that it seems like they want me to get started as soon as possible, and that I'm needed and will be getting shifts. It's just the specific combination of "I am extremely tired from working a lot of days consecutively" + "I am extremely tired from fighting with my typical sleep schedule and sleep disorder" + "I am extremely tired from the mental and emotional exertion of being in a new environment and learning lots of new things".
I know I could theoretically block off my mornings, (outside of trainings and meetings) but I guess I can't shake the hopeful optimism the one day I might be able to function before noon without it being a struggle. Cause I've done it in the past, and I think it's worth it, but I definitely won't do it without external impetus!!
Also, I reserved the middle of the week days for my retail job in my new availability, so I think they're trying to squeeze my shadow shifts in before then? But I'm actually not scheduled at the store during the week this coming week.
I'm considering trying to express (some) of this specific situation to the person who makes the schedules? And being like, "hey I know we said I wasn't available Wednesdays, but I actually am this week, and would appreciate getting a day off on Sunday, can we reschedule my shadow shifts?" They seem pretty understanding, and given that they're shadow shifts, and not something where they'd have to find other coverage if I'm not there, I think it may not be a big deal.
But ALSO there's a big part of me that screams not to show weakness and ask for special treatment at work, especially so early on. 🤷🏻♀️
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12/11/24
9:05 p.m
So I had a red bull today without smoking a cigarette. The red bull just made me feel like shit tbh. Idk if I want to keep drinking them. I'm trying to break habits. Drinking red bull with cigarettes is a habit. So I drank the whole thing without lighting a cigarette.
The other day I went to the gym without smoking a cigarette before.. I did a lozenger... cause I needed the nicotine.. but i broke that habit.
I mean I'm trying to break the habits I've formed. It's hard. I'm smoking a cigarette atm my third of the day. No lozengers. I realize constipation is a common nicotine withdrawal symptom unfortunately. If I got to smoke every morning to poop I'll do it but I'm going to try to smoke 3 cigarettes maximum a day.. and eventually go to two.
If I got to smoke cigarettes in the morning to poop forever i guess I will.. I didn't even want the cigarette i just had but I knew if I didn't smoke it I wouldn't be able to sleep bc of withdrawal.
The withdrawal is getting easier.
I'm going to try to poop tomorrow without smoking... aka ill just give it time... tomorrow will be harder bc I can't go to the gym. I have to have a forced rest day... I went Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday... I got to rest tomorrow. Being home all morning will be hard.
I realize the hardest part about quiting is worrying about pooping. I mean I guess if I got to have 3 cigarettes in the morning to poop forever i can afford that but I dont really want to smoke.
My body is falling in line with that. Which is confusing... gradually quitting is better for withdrawal and usually causes actually quiting.
I do want to quit but I dont want to be constipated. I had 30 grams of fiber today and a fuck ton of water. I realize that constipation by definition is not pooping for 3 days.... which I've pooped everyday.. and I've noticed that I'm pooping more without smoking a cigarette...
I know my body wants to quit but I want to take 3 shits a day.. I'm surprised I didn't go for any of the 3 cigarettes i had. I'm surprised I was putting off smoking bc I really didn't want to bc i mean I'm not joking my body wants to quit.
And I'm going to say this now and I'll prob revise this later but the hallucination has been better since slowing down... at least today.. yesterday was 6 cigarettes with lozengers altogether... but today my hallucination has been better.
Maybe in 3 weeks I'll still be smoking 3 cigarettes a day. Idk. I'm afraid to fail. But I'm really concerned about poop. My mothers has crohns... but at the same time... smoking can cause crohns.. I want to quit but I dont want to be constipated and when I look at my abdominal exercises today I know why my abdomen is a little sore.
Atm I'm having withdrawal despite having a cigarette but I notice it passes quicker... idk.. I just hope the heavy fiber i ate today will make me poop tomorrow morning a couple times easily... without a cigarette.
Anyone would be sore after this. The first slot is a couple days ago. There is a reason I'm able to get on the incline bench and pull my body up and there is a reason I am a little sore. Anyone would be.
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So today is my first day off since starting at pizza hut. The second or maybe third day I thought I was gunna no show quit but I pushed through and honestly I love it. My body has been aching from the work be ause I'm not used to moving anymore and my muscles weren't getting enough protein probably to repair themselves proper cause I have a lack of appetite. But hopefully now it'll be better.
It's been a really fucking crazy week honestly. I got the letter from my therapist last Tuesday and this Wednesday I'm gunna talk to the student success coach again to get my stuff submitted so thag I can hopefully finish up either next semester or within the next year.
I also talked to Manuel for the first time in a while. He's not doing great at all. Apparently he was dating Hailey and she broke up with him and he just spiraled. He lost his job and his family is worried about him n shit. He was doing coke before they broke up but it apparently stopped getting him high or euphoric so he switched to crack but after the breakup it only made him feel normal instead of up so he said he was done with it too.
We hung out today in person and talked. It was kinda nice but it was also super fucking triggering. We drove down Magna main and I just kept remembering you taking us down there all the time so you could see your dealer. I've come to realize that I can't have a partner that does drugs. It's too much for me to deal with. I think even weed is unfortunately in thag too. Which sucks because it seems like everybody's doing weed now. Even dad is taking gummies. But the last time I got high I thought I was going to die and I don't need a fucking repeat of that.
I was feeling great this week for the most part after that day of depression or whatever. But now I'm just. I don't know if I am depressed or empty or what honestly. Part of me thinks that maybe I feel guilty for how Manuel's doing especially since I've been doing much better with my new meds and going to therapy every week again. Plus my new job. I cried a lot while we hung out and I honestly don't know why.
I used to wish that Manuel was trans so he could transition and be my gf. But I'm realizing that that's just me wanting the idealized version of him to be my gf and not actually him. Which honestly scares the fuck outta me be ause I do really want a partner but will I be able to love them for them or for the idealized version of them in my head. Maybe that's something I should talk about in therapy. I don't know.
Honestly I'm worried that dbt isn't what I need right now. Like I definitely think going to skills group will help a lot. But I don't actually remember what therapy was like outside of that.
I was supposed to have written up a list of things that I want to work on through dbt and I haven't really done that. Maybe when I wake up and clean I'll be able to think better.
Oh yeah that's another thing. I've been doing great about like brushing my teeth every night and every day I went to work I changed my underwear and like put on deodorant n stuff. But I haven't actually like cleaned my room or put laundry away. Like I know that you don't get better all at once but it just feels weird idk.
Gunna try n sleep so have some energy to clean up at least the rotting food on my desk tomorrow. Hopefully that'll roll into me fully cleaning the desk and maybe the rest of my room. Maybe do some laundry cause I do need to wash my work clothes.
Sorry this was all over the place. My brains been everywhere and nowhere since I started working. Here's hoping it's a good thing for me.
Love you always.
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Kayak voyages and el Rio Misterioso...
Week 6
It's come to my attention that more people than I thought read my blog posts, so here's to all of my adoring fans who've been here since the early weeks! If you're new, I gotta say that these are definitely a treat (but of course I'm a bit biased). This post might be shorter than my other ones since it was a pretty relaxed week with not too much going on. However, read till the end! Treat it as waiting for the post-credits at the movies, I might have a hint about where I'm going this weekend...
Pirates of the San Sebastián Bay
I'm going to skip past Monday and Tuesday to just jump right into the rest of the week since those were mainly more days of research. Due to Tecnun having a university holiday on Wednesday, we were able to have that day off! It was super nice out so we decided to seize the day (most of the day after napping for maybe half of it) to embark on a kayak excursion. With the luck from a shilling and 5 euro note I found on the ground, I had high hopes that we would have the blessing of the sea on our side. The rental wasn't that expensive at all, especially for a two-person kayak and roughly 2 hour time slot. We originally planned to set sail for the island itself, but decided that we wanted to aim for an even bigger goal of going around the island. Everything was going smoothly until we reached the mouth of the bay, since this area featured a lot of unexpected rocky patches. As newly appointed seafarers, Jayashree and I wouldn't let this be our end. We successfully entered the choppy waters and were officially now out in open water! At this point, we should've been cast alongside Captain Jack Sparrow because we would make phenomenal pirates. Seeing the back of the island was really neat along with feeling how different it is being the only boat on the water. We ended up having a really good time and 100% would do it again!
Land Ho!
Afterwards we stopped by an icecream stand to reward ourselves on our journey, where I found a rather interesting choice to say the least. It was called a Frigo Pie, or Refrigerator Foot, and it was actually shaped... just like a foot. If I had to rate it overall, I would say a 6/10 for taste and 9/10 for presentation. What better way to cool off on a hot day, right?
It was a bit smaller than expected. I think to improve their product they should make it somewhere around a size 7-8 in US shoe sizes. More bang for your buck you know.
Photo Ops and Friendly Competitions
On Thursday, the night had a lot in store for us. To start, Jayashree, Izzy, Deidra, and I had the amazing idea to recreate some classic JCPenney-esque family photos. I don't really know how else to explain them besides just showing the results, so take a look below at the outcome and I'll do my very best to explain our vision:
We were attempting to create a square with all our hands. We almost got there but it resembles more of a rhombus.
Izzy may or may not have dropped me before taking this picture for the second time.
A big thank you to Diego for being our photographer! Later on, some of us had bought tickets to go to the local club, Bataplán, to get the experience of going out in Spain. To sum it up, we had a great time! We did some rounds of arm wrestling where Jayashree was the reigning champion, and enjoyed listening to all the spanish reggaeton music (there were also some english songs and also a random Can-Can remix).
A quick showcase!
Lately whenever I'm not at work doing research or something with my friends, I've been spending time getting back into drawing. It's always been something that I love to put time into and see how much I've improved over the years. At one point I considered going to school for storyboard animation, but I figured that I like art more as a hobby anyways :). I don't usually do architecture drawings, but I wanted to do a challenge for myself and also sketch it only in pen to up the stakes. Take a look and leave a review in the comments!
This street is from a picture I took when I was just walking around San Sebastián one day.
The Big Finale of the Week: Amusement Park!
On our very first day here, we were taken to Monte Igueldo for a lunch and the best view of the city. We decided to go back on Sunday since there's an amusement park at the top (meant for little kids but I mean we had to check it out). After disembarking from the cable car and reminiscing about the time we've spent here so far, we took a lap around to see what we wanted to do. Almost instantly, we locked eyes with a sign that read: Rio Misterioso. Intrigued, we saw that it was a little boat ride and immediately knew that this should be saved as the best for last. From there, our first stop was the rollercoaster, and boy was it actually more of a thrill than we thought it would be. Not on the same level as Cedar Point, but there were some worthy drops that gave a decent adrenaline rush. We decided to split up briefly, since Izzy and Jayashree wanted to do the bumper cars and Deidra and I wanted to take on the Casa del Terror. I was surprised that Deidra wanted in on this since she's not a fan of all things spooky, but this would be her first haunted house and one at a kid's amusement park is a pretty good starter. For 3 euros, it definitely was an experience. The theme inside wasn't exactly cohesive and varied between movie theatre, jurassic park, the shining, catacombs, and skeletons playing chess. I won't name names but a certain someone was jumpscared by a door, and I almost tripped because I didn't see the stairs. Once we left, we found Jayashree and Izzy living it up in the bumper car arena and then strolled our way with anticipation to el Rio Misterioso. It was a pretty calm and scenic ride with a view of the ocean and city, just shorter than we expected it to be. The route led us into a small underpass where we saw...Peter Pan? Seeing him made me feel magical and whimsical, making for a truly life-changing boat ride. With that, I think the mysterious river really did live up to its name.
The view from the top!
My homies Pennywise and Peter Pan!
As promised, I said that I have a sneak peak into what next week's post will bring. First of all, thanks for staying this long! I really do appreciate when people read my posts and get to see what I'm doing day-to-day :). Now for the hint!
You get 5 blanks: _ _ _ _ _
It's a city in France, there's a show with my name in it and this city, and the Olympics will be taking place here this year. It's probably a dead giveaway, but still fun to guess!
See you soon,
Emily Dobao
IPE San Sebastian, Spain
July 2nd, 2024
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Update on study week:
Tuesday and Wednesday i was able to finally get started on my environmental design coursework. I'm glad i finally broke thru that mental barrier, it was annoying me. i'll put off working on it after exams.
Next week I have my exams, so i tried to study for them. being quite honest, i have never studied for an exam in my entire life so this is difficult. I have not touched my phone for two whole days now, apart from setting alarms and i still get distracted -_- but on the upside i have learnt a lot about archeology and pre-colonisation america :D (<- is the last thing i need for an engineering degree)
I have looked at the available past papers (only two :( ) and went over them. Now im trying to make fact sheets and motivate myself with glitter gel pens and delusion. From the past papers, there seems to be a style to these questions, so i'm really hoping that they will keep the structure as it is and don't change it this year.
I've started going over soil mechanics, my plan is to make fact sheets on the three most important experiments, and make a big equation sheet.
For materials, I just really need to learn some definitions and facts about material properties and I think I'll be good.
For structures, I will pray to any god that is out there :)
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