#i have to do it like this because i cant spend money online rn

[dogydayz]

i cannot fucking believe that i may have to tell my friend that the fuckin thing i want him to preorder for me is going to be $60 instead of $45. He already lost his shit when I revealed that this whole thing is for a bunch of fan merch shipping gay hedgehogs, but now I'm gonna have to tell him it's actually $60 and he's never going to let me live it down.

[starkissedblade]

💸💸💸💸💸

this is me just talking abt money and random stuff veeerrryy boring but i bought a pair of shoes a couple months ago for $200 and i have only wore them once i just stare at them and think about my bad spending decisions and i know i will start wearing them soon because they’re the only platform shoes i have but they’re also the most expensive shoes ive ever worn & i just die a little inside i need to get over it tho but i also thought of getting new walking shoes since ive had these ones for 5 yrs now (tbh i think the 200$ shoes r the only ones ive bought 4 myself new like all my shoes which is like only my everyday walking shoes, a pair of docs from hs, & a pair of flip flops i dont have many shoes & all were bought for me by someone else like yrs ago) and my feet r starting to get sore wearing them everyday but i think i might just buy new soles instead like these shoes still have traction.. cuz i need to buy a hair dryer and diffuser cup thing soon because im tired of air drying my hair and i want to make my wavy/slightly curly hair look presentable on the regular and not just occasionally and i need to spend money on that instead!!! but also will i do that??? i just put it off lmao it will probably be months before i actually buy something for that why does everything cost moneyyyy i feel like every day im making bad money decisions but i haven’t been That bad like 9/10 i use the stuff that i buy all the way. im physically stopping myself rn from dropping 40 something on this thing that a lot of ppl say really actually helps their cystic acne which ive had constant problems w. but i cant just do that. its 40!!!! instead i need to buy travel liquid containers that are smaller than 3 oz online cuz they usually only have big ones at walmart and i don’t need them to be That big i never do anything beyond a carry on because checked baggage is Expensive and it stresses me out on top of the expensiveness Anyway u can only have like a sandwich baggy sized thing w liquids in a carry on which is sooo annoying 😒 anyway there’s like $100 worth of stuff this yr that ive got that ive actually Really regretted like at the end of the day the new shoes r worth it for me because i’ll wear them until they break. i get so stressed over not using more than a third of the alcohol based mouthwash i got in feb because it burnt my mouth too much i get stressed over the cerave gentle cleanser i got but then it’s not what i need liked i needed the salacylic acid one instead so now that one just stares at me in its largely unused glory like i worry tooooo much but it’s also kind of good worrying because it keeps me in check cuz it makes me quadruple check if i really need something… but i do usually keep my impulse spending to the thrift which is usually a good thing. i bought a cool hat a couple days ago for a couple bucks but my head is too big :(( i need to look for a place that’ll give it away for free im done w giving stuff to goodwill or other places i just want ppl to be able to get clothes w out paying for it i hope that theres something like that around here. anyway i need to buy a really small point pen tomorrow to do this art thing for Father’s Day cuz my smallest point pen went dry yrs ago and this is the first time im picking up doing something like this in yrs like it’s for Father’s Day tho so i feel like it’s justified. and then i’ll need to get T in the next month 🚬 which has been 140 recently cuz i my state doesn’t cover it in insurance. at least insurance covers blood draws and my doctor doesn’t charge for messaging online abt stuff, so. and at least medicaid in my state covers some dental because ihave that appointment next month. and then ill be paying close to $200 for a flight ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh at least its not more than that ig. at least cheap allegiant flights r a thing . im so lucky in so many ways financially because of my mom step dad being so nice to me basically buying a car 4 me at 18 and letting me live w them rent free etc like idk how i got here i am still not used to it really i feel like its gonna be

pulled out from underneath me soon or something

[ohgodimafraud]

👤🤧?

omg ty for the ask

��� - Describe your current favorite character (including OCs)

rip im so sorry bc im already so excited.

my favorite character rn is L/ucifer (aka u/rushihara) from the d/evil is a part t/imer. im obsessed w him specifically. i was watching the anime and he came on and i was like oh no, cmon he cant really be my favorite but he just is.

he went from being an edgelord demon general who was previous ly the top archangel who fell j because he was bored and joined w the og satan and then joined with the current satan bc he was like i mean there was nothing else to do. over like 10,000 years old with absolutely zero aspirations other than playing pc games and eating snacks and online shopping. but also he does have some character growth but it's more subtle and hes just like so unserious and nobody respects him at all ToT

hes a little man with big wings. he got duped by some rando into spending crazy money on garbage and was like it's not my fault :( (( im socially awkward.

his whole thing is being a neet and exerting as little energy as possible for the most part but hes also one of the smarter characters for sure. like he does actually contribute to the group but it doesnt rlly up his respect or rep and then he usually evens it out by him doing something like ordering stupid shit they dont need while theyre trying to keep a roof over their heads.

he also has the most canon allergies ive seen in forever. an entire chap of the manga and a chap of the light novel and a 50 min DRAMA CD is dedicated to satan taking in a cat and saving it and l/ucifer sneezes the entire time. and theyre like stoooop being so loud!!! lmaoo T_T hes so cute and pathetic <3 i love him sm hes like basically a cat himself. but also during that chapter when the cat coughs up a hairball he prints out directions to the vet and is like dondt panig call a bro (pro). like ok. also he did try making a FOUND poster LMFAO.

something about him just resonates with me he has an unnaturally long life and just wants to live a chronically online life and i feel that. he gets picked up by the collar or scruff all the time and every time i see him i get like lkFLAEJKJRGJLKJ THERE HE IS!!!! yay!!!!!

🤧 - Do you prefer stoic characters or characters who complain?

both <3 like up until recently i was more for stoic characters or ones who will deny deny deny until theyre forced to admit theyre sick or yeah ok they are having an allergy attack. but i also think some complaining is hot. u/rushihara would def complain/has canonically been like cmon this really sucks u guys. D:< i think for me it's also about the dynamics between the characters and the situation/context. omg or a character who goes from im alright it's not bad to this suckkkss :(( and then starts making specific complaints and is all needy. damn. bye-

[alreadyblondenow]

My best friend, my p*rn 

▸Johnny x camgirl!reader (cam girl au, best friends to lovers) ▸ 2,103k words ▸ Fluff, Smut ▸ Cam girl reader, prostitution, online bidding, heavy making out, lots of kissing, lots of touching, fingering, mentions of oral sex male receiving, oral sex female receiving, mentions of sex  ▸ Requested, see anon message at the end of this drabble. 

Being a cam girl is something you’re not proud of but it pays the bills and puts food on the table. Bringing pleasure to other people is not the best idea but you kinda like what you do and it’s like living a double life where in reality you’re this simple college student but when you’re live or on-air, you’re very popular that girls and boys beg for you.

Of course, the only person you trust knowing your double life is your best friend Johnny, whom you don’t is madly and deeply in love with you ever since the two of you became close friends. When you told him that you’re a cam girl, Johnny supported you all the way and became a regular to the point that he has become your anonymous generous tipper.

“User chicag0127 is being generous again- wow. I’m speechless. Thank you”

Tonight is kind of a special broadcast because you hit 100k followers and you have a surprise for everyone. “To celebrate our first milestone, I’m gonna hold an auction online, the highest bidder will be featured two times during my live stream this month....”

Upon hearing what you’re saying right now, Johnny cannot believe what has gotten into your head. Then he remembered, you were three semesters late on your tuition and the school might not let you graduate. “Fuck- you could end up with a creep! Fuck- Savings savings” he was quick to check his savings and easily closed the deal with you. He was sweating the entire time, scared that maybe the next higher bidder next to him might win you, but Johnny was successful.

“Sorry folks, but as expected, user chicag0127 is the higher bidder. I guess you will see us on my next live then!...”

After your live stream, you are more than thankful for chicag0127. The money went straight to your college tuition and now you can relax and not worry about the school holding you up for graduation. That night, you told Johnny what happened through text and waited for his reply before you go to bed.

You: were graduating together! That user that I was telling you, just covered my whole tuition.

The smile on Johnny’s face and the happiness that he felt was priceless, knowing that he could help his true love.

Johnny: Why didn’t you come to me in the first place? You know that I have money saved from my internship right? And idk where to spend it haha!

He jokes so he won’t sound suspicious.

You: it’s your money Johnny, you earned that because you worked hard during your internship.

And that night, you slept like a baby knowing that all is well.

One week later

You were sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only your silk robe and nothing else underneath. Any minute now, user chicag0127 will arrive and you're very much excited to meet your anonymous bidder. When the doorbell rang, you opened the door with a flirty smile that’s replaced with a confused expression when you see Johnny in front of you.

He was quiet. He was waiting for you to realize.

Then....

“Y-you’re”

“chicag0127”

“R-right... because you’re from Chicago and you’re Korean... fuck- I mean, come in, welcome. D-do you want coffee?”

Johnny went inside the hotel room quietly and without saying a word. To be honest, he didn’t know what to do too, like you, he’s confused and nervous. But would you rather see a stranger? So he balled up his courage and confronted you.

“You sit on my lap whenever I’m busy playing games on my phone, kiss me good morning whenever we have sleepovers, heck I already saw you naked because you don’t close your room whenever you dress up and you will say it’s completely fine-“ he breathes heavily and combs his black hair with his fingers, “I don’t understand why are you like this all of a sudden. I can leave you, know? But you can't disappoint your fans”

“Right we cant” you don’t know why Johnny feels like he’s a stranger now but you suck it up and remind yourself that Johnny paid for this. “You paid for this” you added while fluffing the pillow.

“Hey. I did not do it because I want to take advantage of you I did it because you could end up with a pervert a drug addict or an abuser” he points his fingers at you and sat on the bed with a heavy sigh.

“You’ve been tipping me for months!” You bite back, “Fine-Okay okay I get it. Uhm... wear this they can only see our lips, bodies, and not our faces” you hand him the silk mask that’s similar to what you’re using.

“This is our first day so kissing and touching only no more, no less,” you said, and upon explaining the instructions to Johnny, he proceeds to strip in front of you. Unbuttoning his dress shirt and looking so hot like he always does. You gulp when he’s only wearing his black pants in front of you, ready to remove his belt and his pants.

“On the second day, oral sex, however you like it. 69, blow job in the shower, anything then that’s it-oh and one more important thing. No talking you can whisper and make sounds but no talking for your safety. People might recognize you”

After explaining what’s needed, you dimmed the lights, closed the curtains, and setup the camera.“The live will automatically stop in thirty minutes”

“So we can kiss and touch for a whole thirty minutes?” He asked.

“Yes”

“I paid all my savings and thirty minutes is all I get?” He murmurs but you didn’t hear it. You pat the space on the bed next to you as you wait for the live to start automatically in five minutes. When he’s right beside you, waiting for your next move the room is cold and silent as he watches you remove your silk robe. He has seen your boobs far too many times, but this time it’s special like he’s seeing it for the first time again. ‘I'm sorry, he mouthed’ thinking maybe this is hard for you because you’re best friends.

‘It's okay,’ you mouth back because you would rather be with Johnny than a creep.

Slowly your faces move closer until your lips touch but not kissing yet. Johnny gave you a peck as if he’s testing the waters, then gave you another but this time it’s longer, and then another but this time his hand cups your face. It was a filthy kiss and you didn’t expect that Johnny is a good kisser. His tongue is sinful in so many ways. The way it swirls around your tongue, whenever he sucks your tongue leaves you breathless, his grip on your face is getting tighter and you feel his cock poking your thigh.

So with all your bravery, you put your hand inside his boxers briefs and palmed his cock while he kisses you. Slowly, he began to start touching you softly, running his fingers on your shoulders to your nipples until you shiver at his touch, making you stop kissing him and bite your lower lip. Johnny is amused and happy because you like what he’s doing to you.

While kneading your boobs, he started kissing you on your neck, licking you like you’re his favorite ice cream, and doing soft moaning sounds. He kissed you all over your body, making you feel loved and protected by him as always.

“Is this fine?” He whispered oh so quiet beside your ear and slowly run his finger on your very wet slit. Johnny’s finger slides up very smoothly because of your juices, he got excited because he can make you wet like this. You nod your head ‘yes’ and spread your legs a little more for Johnny and the viewers and with that, he finger fucked you before he ran out of time. Feeling his thick fingers go inside and outside of your cunt slowly. It feels so fucking good.

“Ten minutes” you whispered and kissed him again. You feel his smile in between kissing while he feels you getting near because you’ve clenching and unclenching around his finger.

The alarm on your live started beeping and the live is automatically cut off.

No one stopped when the live was over. You kept kissing Johnny and Johnny made you cum using his fingers. When you finally calmed down, Johnny kept you close and apologized. Until now he doesn’t know if you’re doing this with him because you’re actually loving it, or you’re doing this because he paid for it.

“Warm bath?” He offered.

You giggle and hugged him back like you used to, “we didn’t have sex you jerk.... but sounds good”

He gets out of bed and effortlessly scoops you from your comfort and brought you to the bathroom. The shower with Johnny turned every awkward situation around because he made you laugh the whole time you two were taking a shower. Singing different songs and thinking of what you should eat for dinner.

The next day, you and Johnny are laying in bed together enjoying the quietness of the hotel room like you guys did not do something filthy last night. Lips on your forehead hands at the back of your head, you hear his steady heartbeat and you’re actually happy that he is the one who did it.

You’re not with user chicag0127, you’re with Johnny. Things might take time but what he’s doing for you is heartwarming and stupid all the same time.

Second day

Johnny had a few ideas for day two. For starters, he really wanted to fuck your mouth and cum inside it. But it doesn’t feel right doing it to you, he loves you way too much for a thousand people see him do that to you. So he decided he’ll just tire you out the whole thirty minutes.

Your legs are perfectly spread and Johnny’s fingers spread your pussy lips as he licks up and down on your slit. It’s been a good twenty minutes already and your legs feel like jelly after cumming two times. When he felt your legs shaking and you’re breathing heavily, he stopped and kissed you all the way until he reaches your lips and automatically cups your boobs. You feel his very hard cock poking your thigh like he’s going to put it inside you any minute.

Surprisingly, you feel the tip of his head glide on your slit and you gave him a push as a warning but your strength is nothing compared to Johnny’s. “I will not put it in. Trust me on this” he whispered to you.

Nervous, but his lips calmed you in an instant, you trusted Johnny with his plan and let him do whatever he wants.

He continued to grind and gliding his cock on your wet slit and you are very thankful that you trusted him. You smile when he rolls his hips, you grip Johnny’s shoulders when you started being sensitive and then you don’t know what has gotten into you but you rolled your hips and put his head inside your cunt. You kissed him as you grind underneath him and he did not expect that from you.

He noticed you’re liking it too much, so he stopped then the alarm beeps and you thought he was regretting it. You let out a heavy sigh and covered yourself with the thick sheets, avoiding Johnny’s gaze.

“I stopped because I didn’t want any cameras involved when we do it”

Johnny started kissing your exposed shoulder, your neck, and your lips until he earns a smile from you. “let's go out on a date. A proper date. I’ve been always in love with y/n, and I’m sorry we have to get to this part first. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for using your work to express my feelings to you”

The way Johnny confessed to you is something you will never forget. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more so there's no harm in giving this a chance. You kissed him and invited him under the covers with you, “Let’s have a house date, we can cook. No more expensive stuff please, you’ve given so much money for the past few months” you rake your fingers through his hair and boops his noise.

“Anything for you” he smiled and reached for your lips again.

That night, you and Johnny stayed in the hotel bed and ordered ramen for dinner.

↩︎prev next▶︎

Hello!!! I hope you love this because I enjoyed making this to the point that I want it to be a full fic but I dont have the time yet :( thank you for requesting! 

[543634]

dude i really wanna get a rei figure but im kinda sus of the ones i could find in like regular polish online stores and the only avaliable figs i could find on sites like amiami are at least 1k pln and i have like 50 pln in my bank account rn lmao

i mean i dont wanna buy anything NOW since i already got two figs that could get here any day + like i said i only have 50pln to spend + i gotta chill with all the figs(in the last month i bought 7 LMAO) so i think im just gonna wait until i find someone selling their old figure

the ones ive seen avaliable in poland are this one and this one. the first one is FOR SURE legit and ive bought stuff from this person/people(idk) before but its a bit more expensive than what i usually spend on one figure but also its bigger and better quality so idk(the second one also seems legit but i cant be 100% sure)

and idk sorry if im annoying with this idk why im sending this specifically to u instead of posting but i just like sending u asks ig? I DONT KNOW DUDE

thank you for this ask now i can do something during the school break! tbh i dont know how much 1k pln is so i just gotta google it real quick okay i just googled it and damn dude that's alot of money idk if i would be willing to spend that much on a figure and DANG seven figures a month that's alot i want to see them all now and maybe wait till the other two arrive you ordered and then get another figure cus you also need some space for them yk? and i personally prefer the first rei figure where she is wearing that suit(?or amour or idk yk what i mean) and 42$ doesn't seem alot to me because i have a manga store in my city and the figures there are also around 45-70€ so it seems acceptable cus rei looks like a very good quality to me (i have no ideas about figures tho it's just my eye seeing stuff ) and dw you can always send me the most random asks because they're always fun to answer ^^ soo my resolution (can i say it like that? no idea) is maybe wait for the two other figures to arrive, get some more money since you don't have alot rn lol and then get that rei figure, or a different one, i cant make your choices

[qwertyfingers]

suicide tw i guess sorry i just need to. say things and not have a real conversation but how the fuck am i supposed to get out of this state of mind rn when im in thjs much pain literally nothing is helping at all. even if i wasnt also strugglign mentally for other reasons this would be insane to deal with. its been 10 fucking years of just eternal decline the pain gets worse and worse im developing increasingly dangerous symptoms i literally *physically* on a chemical level can't get anywhere close to a healthy amount of sleep because everything is so fucked up in my brain. 3-5 nights a week i cant even lie down all the way because the pain gets worse because the pressures so bad and no one can help me no one can improve any of this even a little bit. maybe i get lucky and in 6-9 months time the new injection reduces the symptoms enough to get back to my previous level of disability where i [checks notes] uh 'still cant function in a basic way but at least get more than 2-3 hours of lucidity per day' and thats maybe 60% likely. 40% chance it has little-no effect and the nhs refuses to fund it long term and my literal last hope for any relief from this hell is lost. and i cant even bring myself to be hopeful about the medication working because i have lost all sense of optimism or belief in my own body and dont know that ill ever get it back. given the symptoms and my dad getting diagnosed with the same thing theres close to 100% certainty my migraines are literally just a result of spinal instability in my neck that could be fixed surgically but its literally impossible to get in the uk and the sums of money needed even just to get assessed are so astronomical it will literally never happen. i cant do this for the rest of my life! i cant spend 30-40-50-however many years exhausted and distraught and in agony with absolutely no reprieve or hope or change. whats the point! what do i have to live for? media consumption? i cant even hold a conversation online about things i like anymore. when was the last time i managed to reply more than 2-3 times before the conversation fizzled out or i got too sick to be online or i forgot i was talking at all and just disappeared. i will never be able to go back to school i will never have any kind of work that fulfils me in any way. ill probably never regain my ability to read even close to as well as before. my drawing ability will keep deteriorating and ive already lost all patience and affection for the process of making art in any form. ill never be able to regularly do the things i used to love like hike and play team sports and act on stage. ill never get back my mathematical ability ill never get to study physics like i wanted ill keep losing parts of myself by inches and miles every time something in my body deteriorates. i lost everything i cared about at 16 and the only thing that kept me alive was my hope that i could recover some semblance of it, and then i almost died a few dozen times and my hope wavered but at least i had my fucking stubbornness and now i dont rven have that. i have no spite or rage or tenacity or ferocious desire to prove myself against all the odds anymore im just tired. physically mentally spiritually its all just over and done i got nothing left to give to this fight now. what is the point of suffering through it all if the struggle is so utterly painfully meaningless.

[crwelsummer]

ABOUT THE BRAZILIAN CONCERT AND SITUATION

Ok, so, basically, I’m brazilian and I’ve been to a lot of international concerts here and I’d like to make things clearer for US and other international fans about what is happening.

1. we’re not having Lover Fest

so if anyone is still confused, WE DO NOT HAVE LOVER FEST AND ALSO SHES NOT COMING AS A FESTIVAL ACT. We’re having a solo normal concert (which, I think, is what we deserve after being ignored in every single tour)

2. This is THE 1st TIME Taylor comes to Brazil or LatAm

Taylor has been here once before for a private pocket show (30mins) for 1k guests only, back on 2012 when she was promoting RED. We never had tour or a concert before.

3. This is her ONLY LatAm concert

if there’s not as many of us as there are US swifties, then there’s even more. I’d say twice as much, at least. Still, only 1 show for a whole continent. 46.000 capacity.

4. Regarding to seats

Brazilian concerts have always been a mess. We have two big pits we call “pista” and “pista premium”, where we kill each other. People have been trampled before, being severely injured and some even died. I’m not even complaining about this rn because since she was never here before, and since there’s only ONE CONCERT for an entire continent, bringing chair seats to the game means less capacity. About 28k. So I’m kinda “ok” with it. Regardless, the right thing would be booking at least another 2 extra concerts in Brazil (1 more in São Paulo and another one in Rio de Janeiro, where usually international artists go to) and have numbered seats, so the amount of people who can attend doesn’t suffer and also to meet the demand. Shawn Mendes will be doing this here and I personally think it will be better and safer.

Also: not even cadeira superior and cadeira inferior, which are the only two chair sections, are numbered. This is a mess. They should AT LEAST number the chairs.

5. Presale

While I understand the presale privilege is always given to a certain bank clients or something similar, it is very dangerous to partner up with a relatively unknown bank for an event THIS HUGE. I checked and yes: the bank is safe. But also, they gave us wrong informations (stating that 50% of the tickets were going for presale, WHICH IS ABSURD and was later denied by T4F). I got the credit card and the limit I need, but what about those who didnt? It’s NOT OK. There are SO MANY misleading info about limit, e.g.: now they are saying that we should buy something irl before purchasing online. I honestly have to spend EVEN MORE MONEY so I can buy the tickets? They also don’t decide if they’re letting people who didnt get the needed limit deposit the difference for the ticket price beforehand. THIS IS AWFUL. The only one benefiting from this presale is C6 Bank. Thousands of young people created accounts in their bank, and NOT EVEN HALF ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO BENEFIT FROM PRESALE.

6. Illegal fees

For me, this is the worst, most serious and concerning issue. I’ve been going to concerts since I was 10, and I can assure you that Time for Fun is the worst event promoter agency in Brazil. 4 of each 5 concerts I go to are theirs. There’s no organization, they don’t answer their phone/contacts, and now THEY ARE CHARGING AN ILLEGAL FEE. As of last March, The Superior Court of Justice of Brazil decided that charging fees over online tickets purchases IS ILLEGAL. That being said, Tickets for Fun IS STILL CHARGING A 20% FEE OVER THE PRICE OF THE TICKET. Also: they even charge for us to print the damn ticket AT OUR OWN HOUSE, using OUR OWN PRINTER. This is not only abusive, but illegal. We have contacted the autorities (Procon) many times, and we always get the same orientation: buy first, then report. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. 1st thing abt this: not everyone is aware the fee is illegal; 2nd: everything would be easier if they effectively forbidden the company from charging this illegal fee BEFORE the tickets go on sale. Who knows how many months I will have to wait to get my money back after I report them? In a country where approximately 50% of its people live under miserable conditions, this just makes me APPALED.

7. Album and merch prices

Thanks to our fascist president, dollar is peaking at 4,18 reais (as of 10/16). Last month, it was even higher. Only very few wealthy people can afford merch. And I cant even begin to explain how disgusted I was when I first saw the album price. standard version: R$ 59,90; deluxe versions: R$ 159,90. add around R$ 18 for the shipping fee. Keep in mind that these are national products. They are not imported, so there’s no reasonable explanation for this. If someone were to buy the 4 deluxe versions, it would cost almost a minimum wage. Let’s remind ourselves of 2 other important facts: 1. there are families of four that live with less than R$ 200; 2. actually seeing her live is cheaper than buying ONE deluxe version. Cadeira superior (student fare) is R$ 150,00 reais without fees at the official boxoffice.

This is what happening in Brazil right now. If you have any doubts, come to me. HELP US!! LET US BE HEARD!! In 13 years, never once we were actually considered. LatAm swifties, assemble.

[juni-ravenhall]

hope everyones aware that skye’s mom is abusive (based on mistfall short stories audio) and if ur parents are like this they are most likely abusive and youve been brainwashed / gaslighted to think “this is normal” (and potentially “its my fault not theirs” or “its not their fault its [other excuses for mistreating you]”)

just saying bc like, in this short story we only get to see how skye thinks “maybe im ungrateful” (the homeless scene) and “i should try to pacify / cheer up my parent” (spend her money on a gift for the mom) which both are unhealthy things that skye should not have to worry about. (mistfall so far, hasn’t had enough story for us to know if it will be shown that “yes skye’s mom is toxic and skye has no blame in this and later she’ll go to therapy” or anything, im not saying it wont, but usually stories dont educate kids enough about what abuse is and usually do victimblame or act as if it’s partially the kids’ fault/responsibility so im just concerned about this in media in general.)

1) you have every right to be upset and do not need to feel grateful if your parent behaves in toxic ways towards you, it’s their responsibility as the adult parent to not be toxic towards their child, and no amount of “but i fed you! but you have a roof over your head! but you have toys!” etc is an excuse for abuse / toxicity. skye does not need to feel guilty for being upset in this situation, though its common for abuse victims to feel this way. (parents need to go to therapy etc if they are unhealthy / immature and cant care for their child properly which includes in emotional / mental ways.)

2) a child is NEVER responsible for their parents’ feelings whatsoever. making your kid feel guilt or shame and that they need to “perform” in order to get your love and respect is seriously fucked up (and common in abusive parents and partners) no matter what the “performance” means. (can be “behave according to my rules”, “get good grades”. in this case skye is feeling forced to apologise / present peace offerings for things she didn’t even do - but often it’s not even healthy when it’s something the child did do, because mistakes should also be handled with love and care and respect as a learning moment without fear)

just a rant but i get very pissed off when i see abusive parents and i get worried when it’s in media directed to kids (in cases where it either is normalised and presented as if its “just normal family life lol”, or in cases like mistfall where we simply dont know where the story will go and how the characters will develop, but like, the quality of the writing doesnt give me high hopes.)

it’s not in any way wrong to portray abusive family situations in fiction (its important for ppl to have media to relate to!) but when the target audience is children / young people, its important that there is an educational healthy message wrapped into it because the absolute bulk of child abuse goes unknown even by the victims (unaware that their parents didn’t have the right to treat them this way; unaware what’s normal or healthy; etc). 

anyway, my point of this was that if you don’t know if you’ve been abused but you relate to skye’s relationship with her mom / feelings and behaviours towards her mom, that’s a red flag. feel free to msg me (but im offline a lot rn bc im in a bad depressive episode) if you want to ask questions about abuse or talk about it because ive educated myself a hell of a lot about emotional / mental abuse and toxic families / relationships in order to try to figure out what the fuck happened in my life. (and better than msg:ing me - book an appointment with a counsellor at your local health clinic or online! there are abuse victim help centers and stuff too! look for whatever is easy for you to reach out to!)

[mayorkate]

Have you thought about setting up a donation page to get the game? I would definitely help, since I can afford it rn and the game is so much fun, I'd love for you to experience it too :D

thank you so much! but i dont really think i want one. because 1) i like having to get the console and game together when i know that i can buy them by just solely relying on myself c: 2) though i really appreciate the kindness, i don’t really like the idea of getting money from other people besides from my parents ???? idk its your own hard earned money and i feel much “comfy” when you spend it on your wants than giving some to me ??? doesnt make sense but i tried lol 3) i dont really have a bank account hahahaha so i cant really get money from anyone online,, i cant put my parents accounts since they would get mad and all,,,, and finally 4) i think there are much more people out there that deserve donations than i do  although it can be irritating to be in a place of still waiting, it’s kinda lowkey fun too ?? watching other people form their islands is inspiring and this situation gives me more than enough time to make ideas for my future island haha again, thank u for the thought!!! but i simply wont,, maybe i will get to have money online one day when i do open commissions for something idk hahahah 

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[stimulateyoursenses]

It's 2019. My mom is dying. I spend all day cleaning up her shit and piss. All day. I spend all day hearing her in pain. I spend all day having panic attacks in the bathroom because I dont know if today is going to be the day another bone breaks just because they are so damn fragile. I cry and wonder If today is going to be the day everything goes downhill. Because it will only go downhill from here. Mom has started talking about not wanting to live like this anymore, a topic she has never brought up before. She's been throwing up again, aspirating frequently. Blood pressure through the roof. She says everything hurts. And I just sit there and watch her suffer. Every day. My best friend.

I've made a few posts on her about my mental health but I am usually vague as I dont want to scare anyone or trigger anyone. My mental health has been destroyed and no longer exists. I don't have any friends IRL. I don't have many friends online anymore. Everyone is busy, depressed, a million miles away, or just doesn't want to deal with me.

I don't have a job, haven't had one in a year and so I am P E N N I L E S S. I am in DEBT. It's gotten to the point that I have to mentally detach myself from any and all my desires because It's excruciating not having anything to live for, nothing to motive, or spark a drive in me. That's nonexistent in my life now. I just wait because my life begins the day after my mom dies and as much as that sucks to say it's true. Right now I cant get a job, I cant go out with friends, I can't buy gas, I can't go on dates, I can't be excited about anything bc everything costs money or requires a lot of mental or physical spoons or needs for me to be away from my mom for more than 3 hours. Which is impossible at the moment.

Ontop of that my best friend, the person who has said he'll "always" be there for me through this, who knows he's the only one I confide my true feelings about my situation, hasn't checked in on me/messaged me for a whole week because he is upset over the fact that I said "hey I'm not a big fan of this silence right now" on the phone, after some awkward silence after one of my vent. He felt attacked and got upset and started being angry at me..... the person.... who i just cried to about my mom's decline and how fucked up I feel and how my other friend was being rude to me..... proceeded to get upset with me .... because I stated my feelings. And because he didn't like <how> I did it, he has been ignoring me all week. No messages. No check ins. And over the week of silence I have come to grips with just how different the reality of my best friend is from the one who exists in my heart, who I know he can be. The best friend who lives in my heart would approach me always with sympathy and kindness because he knows how shitty life is for me rn, he would understand how this traumatic situation has shaped me and where I am coming from when I voice my feelings, would understand that I am trying my best, would check on me and make sure that I was hanging in there. Would schedule fun activities for us to do together because he'd know how important he is in my life and how alone I am. He'd reach out and help me without me having to ask for it every. single. time. He'd remember how much it sucks to ask for help and he'd be looking out for any way he could make my life better. He would give me the kindness and consideration I would give to him if he were in this position.

He would have responded "I'm here and I have been listening, I was just giving you space to do your own thing and didn't want to overwhelm you. I'm sorry I made awkward silence, but I am definitely here for you even though I don't know what to say."

but instead he got defensive over a statement that wasn't an attack on him, knowing MY SITUATION, WITH MY LIMITED SPOONS. He chose his ego over me. And he keeps choosing his ego over his life partner. He has receeded any emotional support, all communication. He hasn't even checked in on me as a friend. And to me, that's wild. I supported him, emotionally and financially when he was fired from his job and emotionally dead while I was living there. We werent even together and I supported him-- without ever being asked. I tried to sort out our bills, sold my WAX collection, just to keep us afloat. Came home to the USA and supported him financially from time to time when he was skint and couldnt find the spoons to get a job. MULTIPLE TIMES. He never had to ask, he'd just mention he was skint and I'd send over £20. Because I wanted to see him happy. Because I wanted to see him thrive. Because I would do anything in my power to help the people I love. but I'm learning that just because I am a good person to my friends doesn't mean that they will be good to me, even when I repeat over and over and over how unwell I am. I'm learning that people don't like to hand out sympathy, aid, or compassion until *after* the tragedy happens, as beforehand there's a lot of "she can handle it", "she's strong-- she's got this" to excuse themselves or any responsiblity. And that shit is sad. It's honestly heartbreaking and has caused me to lose a lot of faith in reality and lose a lot of faith in my friends. Because if this is how people treat me when I'm going through the WORST time of my life, I don't want to see how they treat me on just a regular day. I deserve so so so so much better.

[transannabeth]

What does it feel like to sell merch?? I cant imagine how nice it is for people to want to buy something you made :o ive always wanted your BMC poster but cant irder stuff online much but just know i Love it

ahh thank you so much i’m glad you like it!! 

getting an order for stuff feels really really cool tbh especially when i’m violently oscillating between thinking my art is mediocre and aggressively hating it 

but i’m gonna be super legit with you here: i don’t think i should’ve opened a store. at least not when i did 

(under a read more cause i just had to vent you know) 

now i wanna be clear i’m not shaming anyone for not buying things or anything like that, trust me i get it we can’t all be buying posters and whatnot when we’ve got bills to pay. but even with about 4k followers, i do not have the audience to have a profitable online store. 

i was kind of mislead (AGAIN not shaming just like miscommunication) by people i talked to at the bmc stage door as well as people online about how many people would be interested in buying my stuff. especially cause, when you’re ordering prints, it’s W A Y cheaper to buy in bulk, so i bought more than i was already expecting to sell under the impression that it would pay off in the end 

obviously it has not and that’s why i did a preorder of the pjo posters. even t h e n, i bought an additional five just in case and i have been unable to sell them in the past five months or so

i totally get that running a business starts with spending money, but in my case, i’m still at a loss and i have like 50+ posters that are just sitting around my house waiting to get sold which is, honestly, really really embarrassing because i think my parents thought i was going to be much more successful at this than i have been 

so yeah, for anyone who is thinking about doing an online store do preorders, do polls not only about who would LIKE merch from you but who would be able to feasibly buy it, and honestly, go out of stock before overbuying because i do not know what to do with these extras

(note: i’m kind of very anxious about money rn because i spent ~$500 on professional and publication stuff this month in the form of website things and isbn numbers and still have to pay for a copyright, so this has been bothering me a lot. sorry anon for going off it totally wasn’t you, just pent up frustration at myself)  

[lashydsdomain]

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

19

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

ye

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

ye

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

 every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

ye

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

ee

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

NO

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

[deadass-pool]

october 31, 2022 - halloween pms

oh boy oh boy DO I HAVE A STORY TO TELL

so in the past 3 months, i got a job, met new people, life kinda sucks, i met a boy, i also met another boy, i met more boys, went to a kpop music festival, met another boy, jesus fucking christ, please check in on my temper because my patience was tested.

aside from the clients that i have to deal with during my work hours in the morning hours to afternoon, i was also dealing with MEN and i dont know!!!! i havent been screwing around the dating scene in so long because i was so invested in other things such as being delusional with my celebrity crushes and college was sucking the life out of me but jesus christ, i kinda wished it stayed that way because now i got money problems (its a me problem) and boy problems (that i have to get rid ASAP)

anyways, i’m not gonna write about the 10 guys i talked to simultatnoeusly at once, the another 5 men whom all i met through stupid online dating apps, WHAT im gonna tell you is that i ended up forming a whatever situationship with a guy that i used to go to the same elementary school with. WHICH WAS WEIRD BECAUSE I KNEW HIM SINCE FOREVER LIKE IN 1ST GRADE IMAGINE HAVING HIM SEE YOUR TIDDIES NOW AT AGE 22 LIKE, THATS SO WEIRD WHO FUCKING KNEW RIGHT 

anyways, yeah based on the last paragraph that i have written, if it isn’t obvious enough for you, yes it was very sexual (and very confusing at times) and ITS SOMETIMES WEIRD because i cant stop picturing him as some random 6th grader that i walk past by numerous times when i was in 5th grade and idk idk its so fucking crazy like, THATS CRAZY RIGHT?? WHO KNEW LMFAO

anyways yea we would call each other at night, it was nothing serious, obviously. out of everyone he was my favorite since there was a common ground and experience we share so i felt more comfortable with him than the rest of the guys that i talked to. so i trusted him enough with photos that i took and hes literally the only guy i ever sent those photos to (and hes gonna get beat up by me if anything happens GOD FORBID ANYTHING HAPPENS) 

he would send good morning texts bla bla bla, it was a one month short lived experience until i decided to just be distant or whatever because hes literally any other guys. god, we were evn supposed to go on a date but it didnt happen. the point is, just because you knew him since forever does not mean he’s going to be different. i have met way too many of the same people like him, AND LIKE ME, to keep my guard up anyway.

anyways, the point is i can feel the void in me getting alot more worse. the more i entertain these men, even women (i cant for the life of god play with women even when im attracted to them i just CANT) the more i feel like this is all i ever am worth of.

i always dreamed about being cherished, being taken care of, being seen, being listened to, and just being loved and that’s because of the numerous love songs that i heard, movies that i watched and books i read, but why does it feel like i will never be worth of any of those things?

i think the dating scene of today made it worse. i think that’s why i can’t keep on settling for stuff like this anymore. i am not embarrassed to admit that i believe that i deserve being treated with respect and live the fluffy romantic corny shit you see in dramas. i truly want that lol

i just feel like i wasted so much time on spending to get to know these people, even when im not looking for anything serious, time is still a cost to even acknowledge their existence. i just feel like absolute shit over it.

idk maybe im just pmsing and its a halloween and i literally have nothing much better to do (i am literally supposed to go on errands but i ended up crying over the remaining balance in my bank account) but idk idk

and also i cut off my ties with this guy, not fully, just distanced myself. if he tries to reach out, then i’ll let him in. there’s nothing going on anyway and he’s a manwhore lol. idk im just upset over everything rn idk why im typing this maybe its because its eating me alive. did u guys know that i used to have such a huuuuuge crush on him until he went for the sexual part in our relationship or whatever we have and now i could not respect him at all lmfao

anyways, thats it ill tell more on the careeer part soon, im working on something. see if this one works out. we’ll see.

[angelixii]

1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

 3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

 2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

 2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

 My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

 How tall am I - 5′2

 What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

 Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

 Do I have a crush - no not really

 Favourite place - my home

 What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

 Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

 Eye color - brown

 Hair color - light-ish brown

 Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

 Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

 Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

 How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

 Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

 My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

  My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

 Favorite season - probably Spring c:

 Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

 Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

 Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

 Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

 How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

 Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

 Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

 Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

 Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

 Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

 Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

 How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

 If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

 What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

 Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

 What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

 Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

 Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

 Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

 Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

 What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

 What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

 Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

 Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

 Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

 Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

 What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

 What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

 What is my favorite word? - yeet

 My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

 If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

 Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

[storytaeme]

~ thoughts on the fansites discourse ~

it’s been a while since i’ve done one of my thoughts post and i just saw something that i feel like i want to voice my opinion on. as always, discussion is open through pm if you agree/disagree!

aight hear me out. so fansites have been garnering lots of heat and “tea” as some may say lately for sasaeng/stalker/obsessive behavior. this is for some and not for all, but it’s the main reason why people are pissed at them. 

so thoughts on this and some arguments that have come up:

it’s weird yeah sure that fansites follow these people around and we dont really know much about them but like.......there are so many people online and there are fans who follow them to so many of their concerts and fly out and we dont know anything abt them either so idk why people are bringing this up?

if they want to be private, let them be private??? they dont owe us an explanation or their entire tax history before they can be a fan

they’re not forcing you to give up your personal information so why should we?

if they have money then thats cool??? they can do wtv they want with it yknow. idk how they get money and it’s not really our place to judge their level of wealth 

people are saying we dont really need photos they take anyway since bts feed us so much. so aight you dont have to consume it, you can just ignore them? you dont like it, then just ignore them? nobody is forcing you to look at it. block, mute, yknow. those options exist.

and the whole whitewashing ordeal idk dude yeah a lot of fansites whitewash and it’s Shitty, im not gonna condone that behavior. but the entire argument of lighting during concerts and photography editing also exist and thats what a lot of people dont really understand or try to understand when they dont know anything about photography 

“theyre stalking bts wo their consent omg!!” bighit communicates with the press about this, and from what i’ve heard (unconfirmed atm), they also let fansites know - so i mean,, ??? idk my dudes 

these fansites arent necessarily doing it to give bts more exposure, they are fans if you cant tell and if they want to photograph bts then let them? like why are people pressed? 

think of it this way, if their hobby is photography and they want to put it to good use while also supporting bts who they love, why are people mad about that?

nobody gets made at writers or artists producing og content and making money off it so like??? 

as long as they are respecting bts and their space and privacy according to regulations, who are we to tell them what to do/not do?

if they are real fans then they’ll understand how to respect bts

again, if they’re not telling you how to spend your time, what right do we have to tell them how to spend theirs? 

to emphasize again, i do not condone unacceptable behaviors by fansites still (see section below)

y’all who’re coming at fansites wo fully grasping the situation and conditions are being unfair.

you think that fansites are dangerous cuz theyre stalkers but you can literally say the same about any fan who’s crazy and dangerous AND stalkers. so why are you only coming at fansites when there are still crazies out there coming @ bts outta nowhere wo even bighit’s knowledge? 

commenting on how they spend their money and how they splurge on bts......like dude, it’s not your money, you dont have a say in what they do with what they have

if they use money from selling goods from photographs to gift bts or make donations then let them???? thats the intention from the very beginning?

as long as theyre not lying about where the money is going from selling merchandise, why are we making it a problem? 

THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW BTS ON PRIVATE SCHEDULES AND IF THEY ARE THEN THEY ARE WRONG. BUT FANSITES WHO ARE RESPECTFUL AND FOLLOW BIGHIT GUIDELINES DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT THE SAME WAY WE SHOULD BE RESPECTING PEOPLE IN THE FANDOM.

idk people who are coming at them without considering them as FANS first and foremost and considering their intentions/situation, as well as other bits of information that we are not privy to, are nasty. 

see previous point for my thoughts on if the fansite is being disrespectful.

kpop fandom culture may be different from western fandom culture idk this i cant really confirm. but when i was following western celebs closely, fansites didnt exist and it was only the creepy press following them around. but it seems like it’s different in korea and the boys recognize them and bighit knows them. 

i do not know this and cannot confirm it so it’s still tbd if there is a fandom culture difference

dont support people you dont want to support/dont agree with. 

literally it’s none of our business what they do in their lives. they dont push me for my private life, i wont push them for theirs. unless they’re being incredibly problematic, then idk why i would be questioning what theyre eating for bfast 

again this defense goes for unproblematic/chill fansites who actually just love bts

fansite behavior i dont condone just to be clear:

stalking and chasing bts/idols down in goddamn public 

going to and taking photographs of events/actions that are outside of press knowledge or bighit did not release

whitewashing obvs

solo stans who shit on the other members holy shit like wyd 

probably missing a whole lot more but these are the only ones i can think of rn

i just do not understand why we would ever push fansites to release private information or how/what they do with their free time aside from bts. this turned out to be really long just because im really tired with the sudden rise in hate towards fansites who actually do love bts and want to support them with projects and are doing it properly. 

arguments are for sure welcome because this is only ideas from my side so im always down to talk about it if i didnt cover anything.