#i have to be good
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#I wanna touch myself so fucking bad#but I have to be good#six days in#I can make it#I have to be good
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Paranoid again 😔
#I am. so tired!#it’s not fun anymore I’m sick of posting about it I am sick of feeling this way I am sick !!!#I’m sorry#I feel so. judged#by everyone around me#all the time#and. it’s teeth on my bones#I can’t really. think proper or see proper or talk proper#maybe I’m worse off than I think? or maybe I’m not as worse off as I think ?#its all gritty and it’s all sharp and everybody are gnashing teeth to me rn and I want to apologise again and again and again#bc I know they’re not Bad and Evil but it feels like that#I have to constrain myself from lashing out and gnashing back#I have to be good#I have to be good.#or Else ?#I’ll never fucking#get anywhere#there’s no happy ending I think#just the Fog where is the Fog I miss the Fog come back Fog please
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please. i have to be good. i’m begging you. please. i have to be good. i have to be good. if i’m not good then what????? i have to be good. it’s not enough to be okay. i have to be good. please let me be good. just tell me i’m good.
#good#i have to be good#please#poetry#life#childhood#short poetry#growing up#creative writing#pls help#ARGGHGFGGGGGGGGGHHHH#saturdays amiright?#prose poetry
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"I never asked for this"
#ive forgiven my canceled wife he did good!!❤️🔥#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayce#viktor#mel#meljayvik#jayvik#art#arcane act 3#i loved jayces vision in the fire idk#they didnt HAVE to give us jayce imagining mel and also viktor wearing mels eyeshadow but they did.#arcane season 2#mel medarda#jayce talis#meljay
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Stumbled upon this random ship (in a fandom im not active in myself) that has like 150 works on ao3 which are all from just two people gifting each other fics about this pairing back and forth and theyve been doing it for 3 years... i think thats true love probably
#theyre also pretty well written but a bit repetitive i found#good stuff tho#i just think its super cute that these two have been doing this for so long and built up such a collection of fics on their own#very impressive#mine
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Can the guy at the bottom kill himself or something
#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#love when people give curly eyelashes#die jimmy#god i hate him#anya pov#edti: cant believe i have to say this but im not saying curly is a good person in this post WHAT!
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u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me
#iso.txt#i feel like i have the right kind of mindset to have been radicalised into some . not good things if i hadnt seen reason#like the right set of neuroses and stuff.#briefly i guess i was.#i honestly still sort of struggle sometimes to convince myself of some things i *know* i should believe i know are right. idk.
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hi!
um
yeah
notes goal post
because i really need motivation
(i stole some of these but shhhhh)
if this post gets 50 notes i'll drink water right now
100 i'll go to bed at midnight for the rest of the week
200 i'll actually do my laundry
500 i'll take a shower every day for the rest of the week
1,000 i'll brush my teeth every night for a full week
2,000 i'll stop binding for an unhealthy amount of time for a full week
3,000 i'll start actually wearing my ankle braces consistently
4,000 i'll eat breakfast every day for the rest of the week
5,000 i'll stop binding while sleeping
6,000 i'll stop wearing earrings i'm allergic to for a full week
7,000 i'll start doing makeup again
8,000 i'll stop eating chocolate for the rest of the week
9,000 i'll make my autodale masks
10,000 i'll touch grass every day for the rest of the month
11,000 i'll water my plants twice a week for the rest of the month
12,000 i'll put on my lotion when i need to for a full week
13,000 i'll eat at least two meals every day for the rest of the week
14,000 i'll finish my water bottle every day for a full week
15,000 i'll write more for forest files
18,000 i'll clean out my backpack
19,000 i'll take my vitamins every day for the rest of the week
20,000 i'll finish my stained glass project
21,000 i'll go to bed before midnight for the rest of the week
22,000 i'll do my summer reading
23,000 i'll move the knife out of my room
24,000 i'll eat three meals every day for three days
25,000 i'll stop purposefully triggering myself for a full week
50,000 i'll try my best to stay clean for two full weeks
i'll probably add more goals if this somehow get past 5k, but there it is for now :)
spam allowed
tagging allowed
ummm the deadline is halloween
*thumbs up*
go for it
#i know this isnt my usual post thing but#idk#its good for me or something#and also im pathetic and crave validation and attention al the time#y'all dont like. actually have to hit any of these actually#um#notes goal#notes post#if this gets x notes#tw skipping meals#tw sh#tw unhealthy binding#tw knife mention
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Happy pride month maybe I’ll start watching Doctor Who again
#also happy pride to Ncuti Gatwa specifically I love him#in everything I HAVE seen him in#doctor who#ncuti gatwa#he’s so good for the role too#david tennant
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The movie Wicked is proof that any source material can be vastly improved by simply making the intense female friendship much gayer + the mutual male love interest both wildly bisexual and lowkey down to just be their third
#i can’t believe they improved Fiyero’s character so much just by making him intensely into both women at the same time asdakdga#Elphaba: *screaming at people*#Glinda: yeah baby you tell em! my girlfriend is gonna kick your ass!#Fiyero: god I’m so fucking turned on right now why am I so turned on by this#ideal dynamic tbh#i have other much more meaningful thoughts on this movie but this was so funny I had to post it#It was a very very good movie ngl#wicked#wicked movie
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proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.
#rover rambles#I joke a lot about how stupid hastings is#but in truth I am about as good as solving these cases as he is#possibly even worse somehow#and it's not for lack of wanting to solve them#in fact I have attempted it many times#I simply am stupid
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MONKEY MAN (2024)
#augh it was so good i couldn't stop thinking about it#and also i need to rewatch it because i kept getting distracted by dev patel's big beautiful eyes.....#does he have a licence for those#the mythology the politics the sectarian strife the hijra community and outsiders... he wove so many things together so beautifully#and also. he gave us an adorable dog. which is necessary to me.#and also he took his shirt off multiple times.#monkey man#dev patel#vipin sharma#spoilers#long post#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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I finally took the time to photograph my vintage dip pen nib collection, and I need to share with you all how wonderful and diverse their designs are.
These two are my favorite. Just look at them! One of them is named Gorille and the other Mephisto, but to me they're little pumpkins.
And of course you gotta love the Pinocchio nib. You get to write with the nose of a tiny guy! Just not something you get to do anymore.
#I collect them because they come in fun shapes but they're also incredibly nice to use#all the ones I own write impressively smoothly#even the most flexible and fine pointed nibs#I have a ton of modern nibs as well (like a lot) and smoothness plus flexibility is not a common trait combo#good object#dip pens
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#text#ocd tag#ITS SO MUCH WORSE WHEN I HAVW AN ACTUAL REASON TO CHECK SOMETHING#LIKE I AM GENUINELY REALLY BAD WITH MAPS#HOWEVER I HAVE ASKED THE FOURTH TIME IN LIKE TWO HOURS I THINK WE’RE GOOD NOW#ocd#peer reviewed banger
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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