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turtletaubwrites · 2 days

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Numbers Game ~ Chapter 34

Can You Pretend?

Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 11331

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Chapter Tunes: Taste of You ~ Rezz Feat. Dove Cameron | Crazy On You ~ Hidden Citizens

Summary: Getting to know the hunters is getting to you, especially when your own past gets too much attention.

Ch. 33 ~ Recap: You decided that you would kill Shanks for Buggy if he forced you to marry him, and Shanks realized that there was hatred behind your eyes. Mihawk confessed his plan to be the villain so that he could bring you back to Buggy. Crocodile and Buggy encouraged him to try to find another way.

Author's Note: I can't believe that all of these random thoughts I braindumped months ago are finally getting into the story 🥰🥰

Dark Content Warning: There's plenty of fun in this chapter, but there are some extremely potentially triggering scenes. PLEASE DO NOT READ if these might be triggering for you!!! I’ve included a summary directly below the scenes, so that you won’t miss the story if you need to not be in the BIG FEELS of the scene. The summaries will be bracketed with ~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~ Please take care of yourself, you are not alone! 💜

Also, I hope everyone remembers the tag/warning: Cross Guild Boys are VILLAINS. It’s been there since day one, so 🤷‍♀️ I didn't bracket that scene, but please remember who they are! I still love my sweet, bad boys 🥰 but you have been warned!!!!

~ 1st ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if childhood trauma regarding parents fighting could be triggering. Flashback of very small children witnessing/hearing their parents having a very heated argument, from the child's POV. The topic of the fight is a bit of a spoiler, so if any kind of relationship trauma could trigger you, you can check the summary first before diving in.

~ 2nd ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if severe mental illness episodes, treatment, or hospitals might be triggering for you.

Alternate POV Symbols:

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for up to chapter 1064 or episode 1093. As we get further into Egghead Arc where our lovely boys are showing up more, there will be more spoilers as time goes on. Sorry y'all, I'm trying to keep most spoilers small details, but Cross Guild is endgame, lol.

Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Hospitals, Doctors, Mental Health Treatment, Toxic Family, Childhood Trauma, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Relationship Drama, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Death of an Unnamed Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Kat wasn’t here.

Your sister wasn’t here with her wide eyes that were usually sharp with disdain, but always held concern for you. Always held an attention to your needs that you didn’t want her to carry.

But not tonight.

“How is this supposed to be protective? Shouldn’t you be giving me some fucking oven mitts?”

Your sister was nowhere to be seen, and you were trying extra fucking hard not to scream at the staff while they squeezed you into this too-tight, leather get up. The endless straps and studs seemed to be purposely placed in the least comfortable places.

“I assure you, Miss Sylvad, this outfit will be highly protective.”

That voice came wafting over from the corner, Uncle’s favorite assistant finally breaking her silence when she slinked toward you. Her unnervingly straight hair was almost hypnotizing as it swayed with her movements.

You scowled at her.

“Funny, I’ve never seen a chef in leather before.”

“Then you haven’t been in the right kitchen,” she teased. “Bethany, please demonstrate to Miss Sylvad how to undress on her own, just in case. Baking can be so messy.”

Darla reached out to touch one of the dangling zippers along your side, and you almost gave in. Almost lunged for her fucking throat.

“It’s been almost two years now, hasn’t it,” you asked instead, letting true pity coat your voice.

“Since what, Miss Sylvad,” she smirked. She was still too fucking close.

“Since you became his favorite,” you soothed, patting her shoulder. “Better set aside all the berry you can now, Darla. When Uncle drops people, they tend not to get back up.”

“There’s no need to be cruel, sweetie,” your mother breezed in with a smoothie. She took a sip while she walked up to you, giving the assistant no choice but to move out of the way.

You were too busy getting a brain freeze to spit one of your usual retorts, although the urge to ask about your sister nearly pushed past the discomfort.

~~~

The courtyard filled with applause at the sight of you, and your Sylvad smile deepened when you imagined the most satisfying ways to silence the vultures. The huge screen showed you strutting down the path, which was the only way you could fucking walk in that domestic dominatrix outfit.

They’d even given you a tiny, studded apron.

Breathe. Just breathe. Don’t let it in.

There she was.

Kat was staring at you, her face comically shocked, and you hoped your own shock didn’t show.

Your sister was seated with the Vinsmoke family, and the brothers seemed to be caught in a loop of gawking at you, and returning their attention to her. Their lustful, puppy dog eyes were comical on their own, but watching them look at her like that flashed too many feelings through you that you didn’t have time to name.

Yeah, it would be weird to marry her favorite.

“May I offer you a ride, Miss Sylvad?”

“A ride,” you asked, almost squeaking when that velvety voice draped over you. You’d been so distracted by your sister, you hadn’t realized that the massive pillars you were heading toward were covered in leather and spurs.

And waiting for you.

“A ride...”

Your head barely reached above his knees, which happened to have deadly looking spikes on them, pointed straight for your throat. Thankfully, Katakuri shifted them away before he kneeled down. He waited for your nod, then grabbed you so gently around the middle, and it took everything in you not to squeal when you soared through the air.

“You can hold onto this if you like, but I promise that I will catch you if you fall.”

“Mhm, thank you,” you hummed nervously to the side of his face, clinging to another large spike on his shoulder that was hidden beneath his scarf.

It was surprisingly warm this high up as you perched on the heat of his body. The feathers of his scarf were comfortable, slightly tickling around you.

“Are you afraid of heights?”

“I think I’m supposed to be,” you joked, earning what you thought was a smile beneath all those feathers. “I don’t know why I thought you’d be taller than these trees.”

“I’m not a giant, Y/N.”

What a voice… If you weren’t scared of getting knocked off of his shoulder by a branch, you might have passed out.

“Just, uh, king-sized then?”

That crimson eye turned its attention to you, and his next words almost did knock you out.

“I hope that you’ll find me… husband-sized, Miss Sylvad. May I set you down?”

“Mhm,” was all you could manage, until you were clinging to his hand again. Your date held you aloft while he sat cross legged on a grassy hill, setting you down in front of the strangest kitchen equipment you’d ever seen. There were two sets of everything for your different sizes, all in neon colors that looked surreal under the golden sky.

Your grin faded for a second when you noticed the staff and their snails in the surrounding trees, but you shook it off.

“What are we making?”

~~~

You were so messy.

“They don’t have to be perfect, Y/N,” Katakuri chuckled while you struggled to shape your dough into circles. “And we need to let the dough rise for an hour before we fry them.”

“An hour?”

“Good things take time.”

He motioned you toward the sink, and you washed yourself up before giggling while you held out the hose for him. His soapy water slid down the side of the hill, and your mind flashed an image of you leaping onto it like a water slide.

“This is a good laugh. I hope to hear more of this one from you.”

Katakuri had frozen you again, your laughter fading while you watched him dry his hands on a towel the size of a rug.

You never thought you’d feel smaller than you had with…

No.

Buggy had a real name.

You’d gotten rid of the names from before. “First love.” “Second love.” They weren’t real.

But what should you call them?

Nothing. Stop thinking about them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” you took a breath, fixing your fucking face. “I’m just thinking about our doughnuts. We really have to wait an hour?”

“Would you like to go somewhere while we wait,” Katakuri’s voice rumbled over you until you shivered. “I can give us some privacy so we can speak freely.”

Privacy.

With this “not a giant,” giant man. A very pretty, giant man.

“I’d like that.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

They had all known this was going to happen, that Y/N would have to date the other men before she could leave with him.

Yet Shanks couldn’t stop feeling like a failure, so he latched onto any idea that might help him fix this.

His current idea was making him sick, but not as sick as Buggy must feel, listening to—

“Looks like we’re not the only ones hoping for a peek,” the red haired Vinsmoke laughed to his brothers.

Shanks needed to get his shit together. He’d noticed the three men before they emerged from the trees, but he’d forgotten why he should care about them.

Normally, they wouldn’t be a threat to him.

The blue haired one stepped up to smirk at him, and Shanks was almost sure his name was Niji.

“The Emperor of the Sea wanted another look, eh,” the blue one asked. “Didn't get enough of our little princess last night? Well, that’s a good sign. I’m looking forward to having a taste for myself.”

“Looks like we’re out of luck,” the green one— Yonji complained, pointing through the trees toward a large hill.

Shanks looked away from the princes so he wouldn’t hurt them. He couldn’t fight, couldn’t risk getting kicked out.

He couldn’t see her through that dome of mochi the massive pirate had caged her in.

She’s okay. She has to be.

“There might not be enough left of her to taste when he’s done with her.”

Shanks had to leave before he killed them, finding his own reclusive spot to stare at the giant wall between him, and the woman his two lovers loved.

Buggy was listening. Or maybe she wasn’t wearing the locket?

It was a small hope that did nothing for his guilt, or the well-deserved hate he’d planted in her.

Mihawk’s golden eyes filled his mind, tears making them impossibly beautiful when he apologized.

When he finally said it back.

It felt like hours went by while he watched that unmoving room. Useless.

I’ve never had… She helped Hawk open up. She made Buggy feel loved. It was her.

Shanks hit the back of his head against the tree he’d leaned on, until he remembered all of those cam-snails in the forest.

So the Emperor tried his best to imitate her. To put on that face. To pretend that everything was alright.

He had no idea how she hid so well. Shanks’ own hidden truths were stuffed so far down that he almost didn’t believe them himself, but she had to lie with every breath.

Y/N has a strength I never knew someone might need. Not like this.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

He wondered how many hours of his life had been drained away in dingy taverns just like this one. Hiding in the darkest corner, a book with a dragon on the cover still unread in his hand, the World’s Greatest Swordsman listened.

Mihawk didn’t expect to hear anything of note here, but he’d landed at Majiatsuka just early enough to book a room for the night. He couldn’t think about anything besides his need to protect her, and resisting his need to hop back on his boat, and go straight there.

“Hey, did you catch the feed tonight,” a red faced patron called out as two other drunks joined his table.

“Shh, Jacob, don’t say that shit so loud,” the one on the right laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “You know the whole thing’s illegal, right?”

“Yeah,” the one on the left spat, “and I know for a fact those assholes would only get a slap on the wrist, but poor folks like us? I don’t wanna know what kinda fine we’d get if we’re caught watching.”

That unread book was shut.

“I really hope they show the good stuff soon,” Right complained, leaning forward with a hushed, slimy tone. “Can you imagine what that giant dick must have done to that rich slut’s cunt?”

“Oh yeah,” Left agreed with a laugh. “I imagined it plenty of times after the feed last night. Can’t wait for that whore to—“

“Jacob, was it?”

Mihawk shoved Left’s headless body to the floor, stealing his chair to sit across from the whimpering man. He ignored the screams while the place cleared out, and he ignored Right’s headless body that was leaking blood onto the sticky table.

He had dirtied Yoru on their weak blood, so he cleaned his blade while Jacob pissed himself.

“Would you like to tell me everything you know about that feed, Jacob,” Mihawk drawled, more death waiting to pour from him. Endless death until he held her again. “Or…”

“I-I’ll tell you, please sir, p-plea—“

“Don’t waste my time, Jacob. Tell me about the feed.”

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

"I'd like that."

His eyes looked even prettier when you said those words.

He’s still a hunter. He’s still using you. Don’t forget.

“I’m going to use my devil fruit power to create a room around us. No one will be able to see or hear us, but I promise to lower it whenever you wish.”

He’s so careful with me. This leech must really want to win.

Your consent had hardly left your lips before your world became soft and pale, his power enveloping the entire hilltop, including the little kitchen and lamp posts that came with it. He'd kept everything except for the rotating pedestals that the nearest cam-snails had been perched on.

The smell in the air was slightly sweet, but the feeling of being trapped still crept in, almost leaving your throat in a scream.

“It’s alright, Miss Sylvad. I’ll drop it right now if you want me to, but I’d like to talk without the surveillance. I won’t move. I won’t touch you.”

Katakuri’s voice had lost the slight tease he’d been giving you, speaking in an almost businesslike tone.

So he’s good at pretending too.

“Thank you, Katakuri,” you mirrored his tone. “What would you like to speak with me about?”

Here it was. The old, familiar rhythm of negotiation that your dad had spent so many years making sure you understood.

“My little sister has been kidnapped by Emperor Blackbeard. Since my mother was defeated, I am ashamed to admit that we are not equipped to get her back on our own. Pudding is only sixteen, Y/N,” he urged, enough emotion in his words to make you pause, even with your determination to keep him out.

“I’m so sorry, but how can—“

“My family needs this marriage to happen, but I wanted you to know my true intentions. Please, marry one of us, Y/N. With the financial support your uncle has promised, we’ll be able to afford to bring an army with us to get her back.”

Those pretty eyes were urgent now. Almost desperate.

“There is nothing more important to me than protecting my family,” he whispered, although his voice was too large to feel quiet. “I swear that we will care for you. We will protect you with our lives. I’ll get you away from these people, Y/N. You’re an older sister, are you not?”

“Yes, but I’m… I’m sorry, but I can’t make any promises yet. Thank you for telling me the truth.”

A heavy fear gripped your heart, your whole body fighting not to shake beneath this man’s fierce request.

He needed this.

What will he do to get it?

“I understand,” he nodded, taking a breath that could have sucked the air from the room. “We need you, but our relationship doesn’t need to be for duty alone. May I return to showing you the kind of husband I will be?”

“I’d like that.”

The truth of that surprised you, and you would have scolded yourself, but he moved. Stretching out his long legs, he laid on his side, propped up on his elbow.

“You didn’t choose these clothes,” he noted, almost a tease.

“How could you tell?”

Sarcasm, seriously? I really am insane.

“Leather molds to your body when it’s worn regularly. You don’t look very comfortable in that.”

Heat shivered through you, and his eyes went a bit wide.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I wasn’t trying to—“

Laughter filled that sweet, soft room, a dam of tension breaking loose, and you would have joined him on the ground if your outfit wasn’t so stiff.

“Oh,” you caught your breath, “I’m laughing because you were right, not because I wouldn’t…”

Holy shit, I want to fuck him. There’s that fucking death wish again.

“What have you heard about me, Miss Sylvad?”

Absolutely nothing. Totally blank. Your brain couldn’t recall a single thought until you looked away from him, pacing over the soft ground.

“You’re a Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates,” you started listing the few details you could remember. “You ate the Mochi Mochi fruit. Your bounty is over a billion berries. Uh, you’re not a giant.”

You shrugged when you turned back toward him, and almost lost your thoughts again.

“Oh, and you never lie on your… Are you a side sleeper, then?”

Tingles danced over your skin while Katakuri laughed full out, an overwhelming sound. He leaned his head back, the feathers that covered his face moving with his breath.

“Why didn’t I think of that,” he rasped, still chuckling. “Would have been more comfortable than all the walls I’ve slept against.”

He sighed at the confusion on your face before rolling onto his back.

“So, you do lie on your back, but you sleep sitting up,” you frowned as you walked closer, almost reaching out to touch him.

“It was a lie I told to protect my siblings. A sacrifice that has made me strong for them, but always alone.”

“I’m sorry, Katakuri,” you reached out now, smoothing your palm over the pink skull tattooed on his arm.

“Don’t be,” he hummed, seeming so relaxed while he laid before you. “I recently lost a good battle, and it’s made me wonder if there are better ways that I can be a good brother.”

“Must have been one hell of a fight if Charlotte Katakuri is on his back for a stranger.”

You leaned against his arm, hoping that he’d take the playful tease. All the talk of protecting his siblings was taking your mind to places you’d rather not go.

You’d rather be following that death wish of yours.

“I don’t want you to be a stranger,” he whispered as he rolled back onto his side to look at you. “I want to take you away from these people. I want you to meet my sister, and we can bring yours with us. We can protect them both.”

“I don’t—“

“But my goal for tonight is to help you relax.”

There was absolutely no way you could relax.

“You’ve been doing so well, carrying whatever this weight is that your family has given you,” Katakuri praised. The touch of his fingers along your arm, and stroking down your back, felt dreamlike. Everything was strange and fuzzy.

“Thank you.”

“I have one more thing to share,” he rasped, taking back his hand to touch his scarf. “Hiding was something else I did for a sister. I think that reason is gone now, so all I’m left with are my own fears.”

“Is it fangs,” you breathed, trying to be light. “That’s what my guess is, which is totally fine! I’d be more freaked out if you had puppies under there or something.”

“Puppies,” he huffed a laugh, cocking his head.

“I don’t know,” you squeaked, unable to shut yourself up. “Is it scars? I thought I saw… you know, I actually think that scars are—“

“Cute.”

“Uh, y-yeah,” you froze as a very large finger tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. “That’s not the word I was thinking of, but they can be…”

“You are very cute, Y/N,” Katakuri hummed, and your mind blanked out again. “May I show you?”

You remembered how to nod, and luckily you’d already prepared yourself for what your suitor might be hiding.

That scarf was a small mountain of feathers when he removed it, all that softness gone, and replaced with sharp fangs, and scars that stretched from the corners of his lips to above his ears on either side. His fangs seemed almost like tusks, jutting out to stretch over his lips.

Then he opened his mouth.

“So I was right on both counts,” you gave a nervous smile at the sight of all of the sharp teeth in that mouth, not just the four large fangs that he couldn’t hide. “Do I win a prize?”

You knew that you’d been right about when he’d smiled before as you watched his whole face move with it now.

“Well, I believe it’s almost time to fry our doughnuts.”

~~~

“Mm, fuck! That’s so good, Katakuri.”

He laughed at you then, tossing the rest of the massive doughnuts into his wide mouth that seemed just a little less dangerous when it was filled with sweets.

You still had a plate of the smaller, glazed pastries, but the numbers were dwindling.

“This has been a lovely date,” you hummed, honestly feeling good for the moment. Katakuri had taken your mind away for a while, and it was a gift.

“Would you like it to be over,” he checked in, his brow arching even higher while he scanned you.

He’s still so pretty.

He made you shy, but you were bold enough to shake your head.

“Then would it be alright if I looked at you, pretty thing?”

Holy shit…

Katakuri had barely grazed your hip with his finger, but his voice went so deep, so dark, that you threw your head back, knees almost buckling.

He chuckled, helping you stay balanced while you struggled with all of the stiff bits of leather strapped to your body.

Your locket fell out from where you’d stuffed it into the tight material, and you tried to leave it on the ground. You really tried to leave it behind.

It was a chain of guilt and brightness around your neck, and the best you could do was carry it with you while you tried not to think about drifting further and further away from that daydream of a life.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N. May I create a bed for you so that I can see you better?”

Soon you were lifted up, perched on a mattress made of mochi that was too high for you to relax completely, until you forgot all about it.

“You want me to touch you, don’t you, Y/N,” he asked in that tone that sent you reeling. He had set you up a little higher than his shoulders, and he leaned over you, his face so close as he took in a breath. “Gods, you smell so sweet.”

Why am I already whimpering?

“I’m going to touch you now, but let me know—“

“Touch me, Katakuri, please!”

The sound he made when you begged made you arch your back, but then you were gasping, fear creeping back in as he spread your legs. He held your thighs apart with his hands while he stared at you like you were a treat for him to eat.

“I’ll be careful,” he breathed, a soothing threat while his sharp mouth hung open at the sight of you. “I’ll keep my head right here. Let me taste you, please. Let me fuck my tongue into you. I’ll be so—”

“Please! Gods, please— oh gods, oh f-fuck.”

Katakuri…

Katakuri’s tongue felt so good, so insanely good. You’d never thought to imagine what a tongue that size could do, but the press of it, the strength, the size, had you twitching and begging within seconds.

And he’d told the truth. He was so careful. Careful to hold your twitching legs so they wouldn’t go near his fangs. Careful to keep his mouth away from your skin, just his tongue reaching out.

That was all he needed.

“Kata-Katakuri…”

The precision he had was unbelievable. The flick of that huge tongue kept finding your clit over and over, and his pleased moans vibrated through you like a toy, an incredible toy. Then he did what you’d begged for.

Your nails looked so small digging into the back of his hands. He went slow, but soon his tongue was inside you, making you forget the world again.

“Don’t stop,” you begged weakly, surprised you could speak at all while the mochi bed sank toward the ground.

“We don’t have to stop,” he promised, smiling down at you while he traced his fingers over your skin. “But the bells are ringing outside. I believe our time is up.”

You whined.

“Does this mean that you’d like to see me again,” he laughed while you still struggled to move.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to answer that,” came your grumbled response.

“Mm, what about now?”

Katakuri had brought you one of those giant towels, but he dropped it to trace his finger all the way up your thigh, barely touching the twitching, needy flesh he’d just tasted.

“Fuck, yes. Please.”

“Good girl. I’m gonna take such good care of you, Y/N. My cute, little bride.”

~~~

No favorites. No least favorites.

Over and over and over.

You hadn’t expected to have any favorites, and you were pissed that you already seemed to have them mapped out.

Uncle Cedrick would use it against you, so it was better not to care either way, but your stupid brain wouldn’t stop.

Katakuri had joined your family for breakfast, so polite as he sat on the grass by the patio.

“What is your role, Kathryn?”

“Role,” Kat frowned at him.

“Position,” he tried again, glancing at you. “What do you do?”

“Kathryn is invested in her family,” Cedrick bragged, before scowling at you for speaking at the same time.

“Kat’s been studying business. Have you started your masters program yet,” you asked cheerfully, hating yourself for not asking sooner.

“No,” she mumbled as she caught your uncle’s gaze. “Too much family stuff going on.”

…

“I brought you all some doughnuts.”

~~~

Today’s hunt was for the “truth.” It had been your choice, but you were sick of this shit already.

“You’re a dog person,” Niji declared while his eyes traveled down your body.

“Well, I love dogs, but we’ve always had—“

“You don’t like spicy food.”

Oh thank gods, the bells.

~~~

Each hunter had to submit a list of their own questions, along with their guesses at what your answers would be. A lazy idea, but it was giving you a glimpse into what they thought of you.

“You really like my brother.”

“I don’t think it’s fair for me to answer that either way,” you teased.

How does he keep his hair from burning with those sparks?

Cracker gave you another maniacal grin, his bare chest like a wall that kept you from checking your Uncle’s expression. Yours was on display again, spread across the side of the building, so you did your best to school it.

“That’s alright. Everyone likes my brother. But you… You’re a picky eater.”

You gave him the win. It was true enough when it came to the food your family served.

~~~

“Redwoods are your favorite trees.”

“That’s right, Mr… Iceburg,” you smiled. You still hadn’t trained yourself to hate him for being here, for being a leech. He was still Mr. Iceburg in your mind, and that held too much weight.

He’d guessed the most truths so far, and that teenage crush of yours wanted to crush all of your caution away when he patted you on the head at the end of his turn.

Stupid brain.

~~~

“You like cookies.”

“I’m not sure if that counts, Emperor Shanks,” you flirted while you planned his gruesome death.

“You’re right, who doesn’t like cookies,” he smiled that infuriatingly charming smile. “I think that you like to dance, but might need a little more practice.”

More images flashed in your mind. Too fast. Too real.

His pulse against your skin. His strong fingers controlling you, digging into your hip while he pressed himself—

The ringing of those bells was your new favorite sound.

“I’ll give you that one, Shanks.”

You covered your hate with fluttering lashes, and a gentle bite to the lip that he always loved to stare at.

He wasn’t staring at it today.

Hot rage turned to icy fear when you saw that look in his soft eyes. Like he was seeing too far, too deep.

What did he see?

~~~

Giberson already smelled like whiskey when he folded his lanky body into the chair across from you. You were more jealous than anything else, wishing that you could numb this shitty lunch away.

“How are you doing, my dear?”

“Well, thank you, sir.”

“Oh no,” he laughed, that sharp smell getting stronger when he opened his mouth too wide. “Just call me Gibby. That’s what my friends call me.”

“Of course, Gibby,” you smiled. You knew you could do this. You could feel all the eyes on your skin. Appeasing an old man was nothing.

Just boring.

“Alright, where should we begin?”

The old man cleared his throat loudly, squinting at a notebook he’d pulled from his jacket, the silk lining gleaming in the sun.

“You received your degrees from Pucci University. Excellent school,” he hummed while you tried not to frown. “I would have expected a Sylvad to attend an older institution, given your connections, but I’m sure that the food alone had to be worth it. Did you enjoy your time in the Gourmet City?”

“I did...”

“Well, let’s keep going. We are on a time limit after all, and I’ve been looking forward to having you all to myself,” he winked before diving back into his notebook.

The Concealer. Information broker. Emperor of the Underworld.

What the fuck did he find?

“Ahh, you worked at Polestar Principal Bank, I believe? Upstanding establishment, and just a ferry ride away from Loguetown too. Did you meet any interesting pirates when you weren’t making the rich even richer?”

“W-well—“

“And I noticed that your family always moved with you when you went to a new island,” Giberson beamed, flicking the paper while he nodded. “I just love those strong family bonds. Shows true value.”

Smile. That was a compliment.

You didn’t believe the lie, but hoped that your face sold it while shame poured through you. Your eyes darted over to your sister against your will, finding her strained smile to reinforce your guilt.

Wherever you moved, your family had followed, dropping Kat’s life away every time.

“You enjoy reading fantasy novels, eating spicy food, and you’ve always loved cats.”

“Yes, I—“

“St. Poplar is your family’s original home. I saw that you attended St. Poplar Private School, but took a year off for independent studies before you returned to graduate at the top of your class. It’s strange though, I couldn’t find a scrap of information about that year, and it’s been bothering me for weeks now. Were you traveling abroad? I didn’t find any records of travel, or salaries for home tutors, or…”

Breathing. Were you breathing?

Eyes. So many eyes.

“Oh, dearie me,” Giberson sighed, setting down his evil notebook. “Please, forgive an old man his forgetfulness. That was after your father passed, was it not? Well, I’m grateful that you were able to take that time to be with your family, and I’m so sorry for—“

“It’s fine,” you lied in a voice that was too high, and too fucking fragile. “Do you have any other truths to guess?”

“It’s not a guess if it’s the truth,” Giberson teased while he raised his boozy drink, the ringing of bells coming to your rescue too late. “You are the loveliest, little lady in the New World.”

~~~

Having private conversations in front of servants had never felt comfortable, but this shit show kept leaving you with no other choice.

Tonight’s outfit was thankfully close to “normal” clothes, but hair and makeup were still taking too long to wait for privacy, and Kat had started first.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here yesterday.”

You snorted at her little grimace, knowing that you were probably the only person she ever apologized to.

“Sorry, it’s all good,” you appeased her narrowed eyes.

Your sister had clearly been making an effort to be positive around you since you arrived, but it was comforting to see her being more herself.

“Did you have a good time with the Vinsmokes?”

“Yeah, it was alright,” Kat brushed off, but she pinched her fingers together in her lap, and that odd guilt crept back in. “How was your date with Katakuri?”

“It was surprisingly lovely,” you rushed, ignoring her raised brows while you pushed on. “Do you not want me to marry a Vinsmoke? Because I can try not to end up with your favorite. I wouldn’t want you to—“

“Stop worrying about me,” your sister scolded, shaking her head while she huffed a laugh. “I actually wouldn’t mind being their sister-in-law. I’d love to go see their tech. Fucking hover boots? Honestly, you should marry one of them just for the shoes. I think you’d like their sister too, I hope you get to meet her soon. Their dad seems like a dick, but…”

The lead makeup artist caught your scowl when he blocked your view, so he turned your spinning chair, letting you see your sister’s flustered face.

“Are you sure,” you checked in again, too much guilt to stamp out so quickly.

“Would you shut the fuck up already,” Kat rolled her eyes. “You’re about to go on a date with a two story tall merman. I don’t need you to protect my feelings. I don’t even have any feelings about this, alright? I promise.”

…

“Cut it out,” she groaned at your searching eyes, “and tell me all about your lovely date with that giant, leather boy.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~

~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~

kitty kat’s gonna wake up.

Loud noises had woken you. Loud, angry noises.

“You really think I can’t do math, Delaine?” Daddy’s voice sounded scary. “Whatever that thing is in there, it’s not mine.”

“Please, Arbo.” Mommy was crying. “Kathryn was premature, you heard what the doctor said.”

Mommy and Daddy were fighting about little Kitty Kat.

“Doctors that accept bribes tend to accept even higher bribes, wife.”

You couldn’t open the crib, and you knew you shouldn’t. You weren’t strong enough, or tall enough to climb inside with your little sister, so you dragged one of your chairs over to stand on, and reached your hands through the bars.

“It’s okay, Kitty Kat,” you whispered as you covered her tiny ears, pressing your face between the wooden bars to watch her breathe.

You didn’t want Sissy to be scared.

“Since you’re done denying it, why don’t you tell me who you were out fucking when you should have been with our daughter? How often did you leave her with the governess so you could go sink your claws into some other poor bastard?”

Daddy sounded mad, and sad.

“And where were you, husband?” That didn’t sound like Mommy. She sounded mean. “You expect me to wait around for months while you're out working, only for you to bore me to death when you grace us with your presence? Oh, please, Arbo! I just need to hear another one of your math stories. Please–”

why are they hurting each other? why won’t they stop?

“Shh, Kitty Kat, everything’s gonna be okay.” Sissy was starting to make little noises, and you couldn’t let her hear.

“Who was it?”

“Arbo–”

“WHOSE BABY IS THAT, DELAINE?”

“Daddy… Shh, Sissy. We’re okay.”

“S–Samson. It was Samson. Please, don’t hurt him, Arbo.”

“I’m not going to hurt the fucking chauffeur.” Daddy laughed. Scary laughs. Sad laughs. “I’m going to do him a favor, and make sure he never has to see your face again. Set him up with a nice job on the other side of the fucking planet.”

“Thank–”

“Don’t you dare thank me. You know what? You’ve got two choices, Delaine. Take his baby, and go live out your happy life with that unlucky chauffeur, or get your shit together, and pretend.”

“What–”

“If you want to keep being ‘Mrs. Sylvad,’ which I know you love more than your own family, then you need to put in the fucking work. Think you can do that, Delaine? Can you pretend to be a loving mother? A happy wife? That’s all I’ll ever ask of you, since I know there’s no real heart in that hollow chest of yours. Can you pretend?”

…

“Of course, Arbo, dear.” That sounded like Mommy. “I’ll do anything to make things right. Whatever will make you happy.”

“Just keep pretending. I’m taking my daughter to the East wing.”

“But… of course, husband. Let me know if I can help with anything.”

~~~

“Hi, sweet– oh, angel, no! Shh, shh, Daddy’s here.”

Daddy rushed toward you, wiping your tears as he pulled you away from Sissy’s crib. He looked scared, and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying.

He carried you out before you woke her up, walking so fast until you were far away when he set you down.

“Daddy’s so sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t mean to scare you. You were protecting your– protecting Kathryn, weren’t you?”

“Why were you and Mommy so loud?”

Daddy was crying.

“We were just talking, sweetheart, we’re okay. Everything’s okay, Y/N, I promise.”

Daddy was lying.

“Okay, Daddy.”

i can pretend for daddy. i can help him be happy again.

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

~~~

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

The scene above is from the reader’s POV as a small child. She woke up to hear her parents arguing loudly about her baby sister, so she reached through the bars of the crib to cover Kat’s ears so she wouldn’t wake up, and get scared.

During the argument, Arbo accused Delaine of cheating, and asked who Kat’s father was. She admitted to the infidelity after Arbo implied that he had bribed the doctor she had bribed to keep it a secret. She told him that it was Samson, their chauffeur.

Arbo accused Delaine of neglecting the reader during her affair, while Delaine accused Arbo of expecting her to wait for months, and of “boring her” when he returned from business trips.

Arbo gave Delaine the option to take Kat, and go live with the chauffeur, or continue to be “Mrs. Sylvad,” by pretending to be a good wife and mother, and stated that he believed she cared more about that than her own family. Delaine agreed to pretend.

From the reader’s very young POV, she noticed that they both cried at different times, that Arbo often sounded mad, scary, or sad, and that Delaine sounded mean, and then “like Mommy again,” after she agreed to pretend.

Arbo came to get his daughter to stay with him in the East wing, and found the reader with her hands over Kat’s ears. He panicked and carried the reader away. He apologized for scaring her, and told the reader that they had just been talking, and that everything was okay.

The very young reader knew that he was lying, but decided that she would pretend too, so that she could help her dad be happy again.

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

This prince was already out of the game, but you were good at pretending. It helped that your costume for Fukaboshi’s date made you feel like a princess instead of a sex doll.

The crowd was still applauding while the platform lifted you into the air. Your light, flowy dress moved like gentle waves in the breeze, matching the shifting, ocean colors of the fabric.

You could have gone without all the shells in your hair, and the iridescent scales that were painted around your temples, your shoulders, and along the backs of your hands and wrists.

Fukaboshi’s soft smile was worth it though, as soft as shark teeth could be.

“Good evening, Y/N,” he tilted his head toward you, his mane of hair falling forward like glittering curtains. “You are as beautiful as sunlight on the water.”

No favorites. No least favorites.

~~~

“How did you know this was my favorite spot,” you beamed, trying not to feel woozy on the platform that had been perched atop your favorite cliff.

“I merely searched for the most beautiful waves on the island. You must know these waters well,” Fukaboshi praised, filling you with a strange pride for such a small thing.

You did know them well.

Fukaboshi’s people treated you like a princess, doting on you like you were already theirs. They caught and cooked your food before the sky grew dark. There was music, and stories, and dancers, and it should have been lovely, but with every moment, the tide crept further in.

Soon the waves were crashing loudly along the staggered cliffs, just barely reaching over the edge in a cascade of white that would grow and grow.

It had always been your favorite spot to scream.

“They are no longer listening to us.”

“Hmm?”

“I spoke too loudly the other day, didn’t I,” the prince sighed, glancing around at the now empty cliff. “My mother was never quiet in the face of injustice, but it seems that I have lost my chance now. You will be sending me home soon, will you not?”

Your mouth opened, but you took too long to lie.

“They are not listening, but I understand your caution. I want you to know that even if I do not get the resources my people need, I will still help you. We can leave right now, if you wish.”

Fear, hope, grief, and guilt all hit your veins like poison until you almost cried out in pain. Yet, you smiled. Not your Sylvad smile, but a true, sad curve to your lips before you could answer.

“I am so grateful for the offer, Fukaboshi, but I have to stay. I have my own responsibilities, and I won’t abandon them again.”

Silence rolled in, gentler than the growing tide.

“It may seem a strange thing to say given our situation, but you remind me of my mother.”

“Oh?” You didn’t know what kind of smile to give.

The merman pulled a locket the size of your face from a satchel at his side, and you turned to let the soft lights of the lanterns below show you what it held.

“That’s your… mom?” You’d left out the rudest word in that shocked sentence, but there was absolutely no way that tiny woman could have physically birthed him. No way she could have been with the person who had to be King Neptune, his face not even in the picture because he towered over her so thoroughly. “She was beautiful.”

“Yes,” he nodded slowly, looking at the picture before tucking it away. “But she was also strong. Fearless.”

Your memory finally kicked in, and Queen Otohime’s assassination formed into something real, not just words on a page.

“I apologize,” Fukaboshi smiled. “You are carrying a weight, and I have added more.”

“No, it’s fine,” you didn’t lie. Sometimes just seeing pain that looked like yours felt like relief, a tiny respite from loneliness. Still, you tried to make things light. “I’ve been wondering about that bubble around your waist. Is it like the ones at Sabaody? I didn’t think they could last this far from the mangrove.”

Why am I so bad at making things light?

“So you’ve been to the archipelago,” the prince questioned. There was just a hint of anger in his words, but that hint felt very large as it shook through his enormous form.

“I… we have a home there. It was mainly for business, but my dad would always bring me so I could see the trees. I haven’t been there since I was a kid.”

Sweet memories of bubble rides turned vile when you remembered how privileged you were.

“Well, I hope that you did not have to witness what my people are subjected to there. Children should be protected from such ugliness. Unfortunately, the rest of the world seems to ignore or relish in that ugliness, and my people suffer the price.”

“I’m so sorry, Fukaboshi.”

The stars were difficult to see on the water now, the tide slamming against the cliffs again and again until the air was filled with salt. The prince stared at the spray, his fists clenching, almost shaking, and you hated that you could do nothing for him besides letting him leave, or getting him killed.

“My sister was chained while the celestial demons laughed at her tears,” he growled, shaking the wood beneath your feet. “I was forced to watch in silence with the crowd of cowards that are meant to govern this world. They were going to make her their pet!”

This terrifying, two story tall prince bared his teeth, raging at the sky, yet you were still far more afraid of the people he despised.

“The Dragons…”

“There is no way for me to salvage this, is there,” Fukaboshi implored, his breath heavy.

You took too long to lie.

“Let me help you, at least,” he begged, dipping his head toward you. “I cannot see your chains, but I know that they are there. These monsters are using you for their entertainment. I don’t want to leave you here like this.”

Living under the sea might have been nice.

“Thank you,” you choked out. You couldn’t afford to feel this. Even without the eyes on you, you couldn’t afford to cry anymore.

You might never stop.

“I’m sorry, but I have to stay. I left before, and…” Stop it. That crack in your voice was too much. You had to stop.

Bells.

They were distant, but ringing closer while you stared into the eyes of a truly good man that you wanted to send home this instant. He didn’t deserve to rot with these leeches. This prince needed to get as far away from you and your Sylvad smile as possible.

“It has been an honor to meet you, Y/N,” Fukaboshi hummed before the leeches and their snails arrived. “If you ever need a friend in the water, you will find a country’s worth when I tell my people of your kindness and strength.”

“Please, I haven’t done anything to deserve such high praise.”

“I would not survive a challenge such as this, yet you face it with a warrior’s will,” he praised, filling you with a strange pride for such a lie. “I hope that your responsibilities do not keep you from finding true happiness.”

There was no time to answer before your privacy was stripped away again, so the prince joined you in silence. The tide carried your rage for you, violent sprays of white dancing along the cliff.

It would have felt so good to scream, but at least you knew that another kind soul existed in this world.

At least you knew that he’d be free of you soon.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

“What the fuck are you doing, mom?”

“Y/N, please, calm down,” your mom tried to soothe while you grabbed her nearest belongings to throw against the wall.

You hadn’t been in this manor since you were little, and hated that you had to step into it now. College was supposed to be your escape, but they’d all just picked up and followed you to the nearest family property. You tried to pretend they didn’t exist, but your last call with Kitty had sent you into a rage.

“She’s only in high school, mom, she’s still a kid! I really thought you cared more for her, but you don’t give a fuck, do you? All you do is pretend.”

“Y/N, you have no idea what the world is really like,” she condescended, her chin lifting just a bit. “You have no idea what I have had to–”

“Save your sob story for someone who gives a fuck, mother,” you snarled in her face.

It probably should have worried you how satisfying her gasp felt when she backed up against the wall. Nowhere to hide from your anger now.

“If you let him marry her off, especially to a fucking Dragon, then you won’t get a single berry from me. So figure it out, mom. Will you get more money from selling your youngest daughter or your oldest daughter, because you can’t do both, you greedy bitch.”

All that satisfying fear on her face melted away, leaving Mommy with her perfect smile.

“Of course, sweetie. I’ll try to convince him to wait, but your uncle just wants what’s best for her, and for our family.”

“I don’t care,” you breathed rage against her mask. “I’ll kill you both before I let one of those monsters touch her. I’ll make you poor, and dead. Don’t forget, your daughter’s not well!”

A satisfying hint of fear showed in her eyes before you walked away, harsh laughter following you through the halls.

Your laughter.

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

That was a lot.

A giggle left your throat at the dumb thought, and at the sound of all the shells falling from your hair beneath the too hot water.

I’m not strong. Not kind. Not brave.

The sick guilt in your heart made you want to run across the island to find the prince and beg his forgiveness for making him think that you were anything more than a selfish, entitled, rich girl. You weren’t doing anything special.

Just trying to fix your mistake. Your failure.

Trying to run from the cowardice and selfishness that had haunted you since you tried to run the first time.

Then the second time.

And the third time was the charm.

So selfish. Selfish piece of shit. I just left her. Abandoned her.

You tried to take the locket off. It was comfort and torture.

It was proof that true love existed, and it was a reminder of what a disgustingly selfish bitch you were. You had left your sister to the wolves, so you could go have an adventure, and let a bunch of pirates fuck you like a whore.

The warm metal dug into your palm as you gripped it, but you couldn’t take it off.

My last selfish thing.

You pleaded with yourself, bargaining with your own thoughts as you crumpled to the floor in defeat. Sobs built up in your throat, and you didn’t have the strength to fight them.

Never again. I won’t be selfish again.

I’ll protect her.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🤡🐊🤡~~~

“So what were your big, evil plans?”

“What are you asking me,” Crocodile arched a brow at the man. He tugged on Buggy’s hair, his lips curving into a smile before he caught a hint of fear in those crystal eyes.

He didn’t want to see that fear anymore, especially since his brave, little clown kept trying. Buggy had even told him about Red Hair’s shit with Y/N’s father yesterday, because “secrets keep fucking shit up.”

His clown had made him promise not to kill the pretty boy, though. Not for that, at least.

“Sorry, that’s a dumb question. What, uh…” Buggy panicked, remembering how grumpy the man got whenever someone mentioned Baroque Works. “Where did you grow up?”

“You wanna get to know me better, so you start with my evil plans,” Crocodile stopped laughing enough to tease. He had to hold his breath when he saw the clown grinning at him, practically glowing.

“Well, we are bad guys after all.”

“We’re not the true villains of this world,” he rasped, taking a swig of scotch before returning his hand to that lovely, blue hair. “But now our guild gets to hit back.”

“I thought Mihawk was the one with a grudge. ‘The Marine Hunter,’ right? I wonder what that’s—“

Buggy turned to ice when that large hand gripped under his chin to tilt his head up, but he melted under Crocodile’s soft gaze.

It still didn’t make any sense.

“What about you, little clown?”

“Me? I just,” Buggy cleared his throat, heat moving up his neck, his face.

This man was overwhelming.

“I wanted to find treasure,” he shrugged, the lightness leaving his voice too fast. “Now I just wanna find her.”

Crocodile’s chest felt tight every time Buggy’s voice dipped like that. Everyone was hurting. He hadn’t kept any of them safe from pain.

“I wanted to build a place, a home, where I could protect everyone I cared about from those true villains,” he recalled, the shame of that failure hitting differently now. “I wanted to keep my people safe, but I got too… All I cared about was my big, evil plan, until I didn’t have anyone left to protect.”

The silence between them was soft, and Crocodile let out a breath when a gloved hand touched his.

“Well, daddy,” Buggy soothed with a laugh, “you’ve got a bunch of freaks to look after now. Do you—“

The snail.

The one for agents. And Mihawk.

Buggy’s hands flew toward Crocodile’s giant desk to answer while they clambered off the couch.

“Good evening, sir.”

“Zala,” Crocodile relaxed, still pulling out his notepad. “What’s the mission status? Is Marianne—“

“Hey boss, it was amazing! We should definitely go on more heist missions after some PTO.”

“Are you saying the mission’s complete? You only arrived in San Faldo yesterday. How did you infiltrate it so quickly?”

Crocodile reached out to gently nudge Buggy’s nervously bouncing body parts behind him so he wouldn’t be distracted while he stared at the snail. The clown mumbled his apology, sending his fidgeting limbs to the corner of the room while his head floated above the desk.

“All I had to do was cry, and scream a little, and they locked me right up,” Marianne reported, cheerfully. “Creepy place to put an asylum, though. Every time I looked out a window I saw people in masks. Yikes.”

“Masks,” Buggy asked quietly.

“It’s that carnival city near Water 7,” Crocodile hushed, returning to his own questions. “Zala, what’s your report?”

“Marianne is right, we made a great team.”

“It was so badass, you should’ve—“

“She was able to use the fingerpaints during art therapy to color trap the staff while I used my spikes as lock picks. It was child’s play.”

“I didn’t wanna mess with the patients though, so I hope you don’t mind that we let them out. After I made all their mean nurses cry and drool first, of course. They really liked that.”

“She’s scary,” Buggy praised, impressed with the terrifying teen.

“Well, what did you find on him?”

“Oh, we didn’t find anything on the doctor,” Marianne drawled, and the sound of frantic snapping came through.

Luckily, Zala’s voice cut in before Crocodile’s veins could pop.

“There wasn’t anything useful on Dr. Vorsan, but we did find something on the CFO.”

“A lot of somethings actually.”

“Marianne, why don’t you go check on them? Make sure they're alright?”

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Buggy growled, his whole body connected now as he spoke too close to the snail.

The scarred man reached out to calm him, but felt his own sickness start to fester, coiling in his stomach.

“Well, Miss Sylvad was listed as a former patient, so we looked for her files, and she had two cabinets dedicated to her.”

“You didn’t read them, did you?”

Buggy wasn’t breathing right.

“Of course not, Mr. President,” the agent assured, some fear coming through her voice now. “We brought all of her files with us, but there’s more.”

“Definitely more,” Marianne noted, her voice sounding closer as she went on. “I’m glad we stopped for more food, they look hungry.”

“Explain.”

“Right away, sir.”

“Yes, Mr. Zer—Executive Crocodile, sir,” Marianne stuttered, finally sounding serious, but Zala took the lead.

“Some of the patient files included cam-snails with their initials and dates on the shells. I assume they’re recordings of sessions. Most patients that had recordings only had one or two snails in the group enclosure.”

“How many does she have,” Buggy choked out. He was shaking, even with Crocodile’s warm hand on his back.

“At least thirty, Mr. President,” Marianne said gently.

Gentleness couldn’t ease the chaos inside him.

“ETA,” Crocodile managed, having to pull back his own shaky hand.

“About fourteen days. The soonest would be eleven if Daz can snag us a coated ship before we meet at Sabaody. We picked up the other agents too, so we shouldn’t run into any issues getting through.”

“That’s too late. Buggy, whatever’s in there could–”

“I’m not letting random people watch Y/N’s–watch whatever’s on those snails! It’s bad enough that I’m already listening, and all those people are watching her all the time. It’s not right!”

“Sir, we did steal their encryption snail,” Zala offered. “They must have used it for patient privacy, but the white snail is ours now, and it’s already set up to transmit.”

“Transmit…”

“Yes, Mr. President. If you have a healthy pro-snail, we could securely transmit the recordings to you one at a time. We wouldn’t need to watch them ourselves.”

“No,” Buggy sneered at the larger man, who grimaced before giving orders.

“Wait for our call, agents. We’re gonna talk it out.”

“No, we’re not watching them. It’s too much!”

“Sir, there’s one more thing you should know,” Zala hurried, not pausing before she let it out. “There were instructions on care, and data transfer from old to young snails, as well as backup transmission logs dating back years. Someone else has all of these recordings.”

…

“Sir, are you still there?”

“We’ll call you back.”

~~~

“She keeps getting violated! No fucking PRIVACY! We can’t watch them without her permission, we can’t do it. Please, Crocodile,” Buggy raged through the air, until she started to cry, too far away for him to hold.

Buggy was learning how to go empty like she did, and it chilled Crocodile to the bone. He guided his clown to slump onto that green couch again, wanting to take away the pain that kept making that painted face crumple.

“Let me do it, little clown,” he whispered, kissing his temple.

“No, she wouldn’t want…” Buggy’s voice broke.

Those distant sobs were too much to take.

“Remember that night you helped me carry our girl out of Adam’s room?”

“Yeah,” he frowned, not sure if he should go along with the distraction.

“You said you wanted–”

“I am taking care of her,” the clown snarled, pulling away from the comfort his star couldn’t feel. “We shouldn’t watch.”

Crocodile leaned back, resisting his old ways that had earned him nothing but pain and loneliness.

“Our sweet girl told me something that night, Buggy,” he confessed, watching his clown’s face shift from rage to confusion. “I don’t think she meant to tell me, and she made me promise not to tell anyone.”

“So don’t–”

“I’ll never tell,” he vowed again, and might have smiled at the way Buggy’s head tilted if he didn’t need him to say yes so badly. “But I’m pretty sure I know why Y/N was in that asylum. I’ll watch the recordings, so you don’t have to, and no one else will.”

Crocodile begged now, choking on his old, miserable soul.

“Please, let me help her too, Buggy. Let me help my sweet girl.”

Buggy stared up at that frightening man, and at the hint of tears that threatened to spill down that scarred face.

He really does love her.

Now Buggy reached for the comfort that his star couldn't feel. He clung to that warmth, squeezing tighter when those hums of surprise and satisfaction vibrated through that massive body.

“Little clown…”

“Protect her,” Buggy gave in, exhaustion nearly stealing his voice. She was still sobbing in his head, still losing her fight to keep her pain inside.

“Our girl needs you. She needs her Daddy.”

~~~🐊🤡🐊🤡~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

The ex-Warlord didn’t want to do it in here. He’d helped Y/N fall apart right over there, so beautiful in the dress Mihawk had picked out. Always so beautiful.

But it would take too long to set up another room, and he couldn’t make her wait over his own selfish wish to keep that memory untouched. Even if she never said it back, never felt it, she had opened him up. Crocodile had told his sweet girl that he loved her in this fancy conference room.

Now he’d locked himself inside that room with two snails, and a bottle of scotch, about to ruin that memory.

He couldn’t think about it while he waited. Just let the thick smoke of his cigar fill his mouth, the feel of it unable to calm him while he doodled a little bananawani in the corner of his notepad.

He never got to show her…

“Zala?”

“Yes sir, are–”

“I’m ready. Send the first transmission.”

“Right away, sir. I believe this is the oldest recording. We’ll try to go in order, but it’s a little difficult keeping them all lined up.”

“Just send it.”

~~~

~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~

Fifteen. She said she was fifteen when he died, so this can’t be too long after that.

The image was cleaner than it should be. All the care and transfer to young snails must have kept the recording from degrading, even after all these years.

Y/N’s young face was so clear on the projector screen, so clear that he almost walked to it, until the snail backed away from just her face, showing her at a table, slumped against the wall. Her eyes were almost crossed, staring into nothing.

Then a voice came.

‘Good morning, Y/N, it’s Dr. Vorsan. Could you repeat your name for me?’

Sick laughter poured from the child’s lips, and Crocodile felt his long-neglected heart breaking more with every second it went on.

‘I don’t need to repeat it. You know it. You all know it.’

‘Everyone here wants to help you, Y/N. We want you to get well.’

‘And I want you to fucking DIE! Haha HA!! That's right, you piece of shit, I’m going to fucking KILL YOU!! You think you can– FUCK YOU, don’t fucking touch me! DONTFUCKINGTOUCHMMMN—‘

Nurses had swarmed her, blocking his view, but not before he noticed the restraints at her wrists. Her skin looked raw, like she’d tried to tear herself free with her nails, tried to tear through her own flesh.

Crocodile didn’t notice the long lines his hook had already torn into the conference table.

He could see her again, and he memorized every face around her, every hand that held her trapped. One nurse even covered her lips until she bit them, only to let out another vile laugh before she cried.

‘No, please, don’t. Don’t touch me!’

‘It’s okay, Y/N. You’re not well. Just breathe, we’ll help you through this.’

The doctor’s offscreen voice didn’t stop her from snarling and pleading while another nurse stuck her with a needle.

Y/N’s eyes started to flutter, her rage slowing until she was practically drooling, barely able to hold herself up in the wheelchair they dumped her in.

‘daddy, please…’

She was so quiet.

‘why’d you leave me here, daddy?’

~~~

Crocodile stared into nothing when the recording faded out, his ears ringing with a rage that could have drained the whole island of life.

He couldn’t think. Almost charged through the door to find a fucking boat. Almost destroyed everything in sight.

My girl. My sweet girl.

The scarred man chugged half of the scotch since he knew he’d break the bottle soon, before making the call.

“Hello sir, did the–”

“Send the next one.”

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

~~~

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

The above scene is from Crocodile’s POV as he watched a recording of the reader. The recording showed the reader at the age of fifteen, not long after her father passed.

She was restrained at a table, and Dr. Vorsan’s voice came from off screen. He told her that they were trying to help her get well. The reader reacted with unsettling laughter, cursing, and death threats.

Nurses were shown holding her down while she resisted, and ultimately gave her a shot that made her slump into a wheelchair. She called for her dad softly, asking why he had left her there.

Crocodile struggled with fury at not being able to help her. He drank, and called Zala to transmit the next recording.

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

~~~

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“Y/N, what happened? Did he hurt you?”

Kat growled her rage, her fingers digging into your skin while she struggled to pull you onto her lap.

“N-no, he didn’t,” you coughed, then sobbed, then tried again. “He’s a good p-person.”

“Well, if good people make you cry like this, I’m glad we don’t get a lot of them around here.”

Laughs and sobs.

And shame.

So fucking selfish. Making her take care of me again. Always about me. Fucking entitled brat, selfish bitch, weak—

“I’m so sorry, Kat,” you begged. Your pathetic sniveling came out muffled as you wrapped your arms around your head, curling in on yourself.

“Sis, you’re okay. You’re safe. I’m safe. Why do you keep apologizing?”

Her fingers stroked along the side of your face, the parts that weren’t hidden by your shaking arms. Every memory of your failures as a sister filled your throat, threatening to spill and burn the world like lava.

“I left you.”

Kat blinked slowly. Then frowned that perfect frown before she shook you, shocking your sobs away for a moment.

“Don’t fucking do this! I’m a full ass adult, sis. I told you I didn’t want to run off with your clown, remember? Hey?”

Her words should have found their way inside, but you had already slipped out of yourself, your body limp, and useless beside her.

Your sister sighed, returning to gentle touches that didn’t feel real.

“I don’t need you to protect me anymore,” she whispered, somehow reaching that floating part of you as though she knew where your mind had flown. “And if you only came back for that, then I need you to get the fuck out.”

A soft whine hit your throat, your body moving slowly.

“You really want to be with those pirates,” Kat asked, voice soft and low while she studied your heavy eyes. “I don’t want you here if it’s going to tear you up like this. Maybe we can… I’m not watched like you are. Do you want me to try to call them? If I tell them you want to go back… I don’t know what they could do, but we can try.”

A million years were held inside you now. A million years to make the right choice.

“I’m sorry, Kat, I didn’t want to tell you... You were right. I don’t ever want to see those murderers— those monsters again. I shouldn’t have left. I should have listened to you.”

The best lies were true, but when truth was lost, you had to use what remained.

You used the agonizing grief of losing your love to sell your tears, and you used every shred of hate you held for that traitor to make yourself believe your own rage.

“Did they hurt you?”

You took too long, letting silence lie for you.

“I’m going to kill those fuckers. I bet we could hire someone to do it. Let me talk to Uncle—“

“Please don’t, Kat! I don’t want anyone else to know. I just want to forget it, all of it.”

It’s not a lie. It’s not a lie.

“Are you okay,” she asked after staring at you for long enough that you were afraid you'd failed again. Exhaustion fell on you, but you gave a weak smile at her question.

Another Sylvad specialty.

“I’m trying.”

You had missed those narrowed eyes so very much.

“Really, I want to be here, Kitty Kat,” you told the truth, laughing at the instinctual eye roll she gave at the old nickname. “I’m just having a rough time right now.”

“Have you ever not had a rough time? It feels like I’m related to a tragedy sometimes.”

Kat looked so pleased with herself when your jaw dropped, wiggling away from you when your shaky fingers started to poke at her ribs.

“Real nice, sis. Thanks!”

“I am extremely nice,” she deadpanned while she climbed to her feet. “There's a box of cookies in my suite if you want some. I ate like four of them before I came in here, so they should be—“

“Gimme!”

“Just don’t eat all of them,” she scolded, laughing as she walked away.

“I would never!”

Your mock outrage made her laugh harder, and then she was gone. That lie of a smile fell from your lips while you stared at the empty space she had just left.

Kat wasn’t there. She doesn’t know. She can’t.

Slipping away… but it was a different kind of lost. No more limp and useless limbs. No more tears unless you needed them to lie for you. You knew what you had to do.

i can pretend for you, kitty kat.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!

Author's Note: I've still been disappearing from the world. I've received some very recent help that might make things a bit easier IRL, so I hope I can talk to humans again soon. For now, I'm just so very very grateful for all of you. This story is helping me through some tough shit, and it wouldn't exist without all of the support, encouragement, and inspiration that y'all give me. I know this one was heavy. I hope that if it hit you hard, you know that you are not alone. Sometimes just seeing pain that looks like ours is a relief, a tiny respite from loneliness. I hope that my words can be that for you, and that we can all get through the tough times with just a little less loneliness. 💜

Fic Updates & Extras: I've included a map below with OP Canon and Numbers Game locations in case y'all would like to see where everybody's at and where the reader's memories occurred. I only included relevant locations and this is definitely not to scale. This map began as my need to ensure that the travel time between Karai Bari, Oak Roots Estate, and then Alabasta and the asylum made sense within the One Piece world. (Although that world doesn't make sense, lol. I added up just the travel time of the Straw Hats journey between islands, and with no stops it would take approx. 22.5 days to get from Alabasta to Egghead 😅) I apologize that I don't have the map or the timeline in text format yet. I will be adding that soon since images aren't accessible for everyone. Please let me know if you'd like that so that my adhd brain doesn't forget!!

Sources: The vast majority of the canon details were compiled by the sweet, glorious, super heroes at the One Piece Wiki, and The Library of Ohara. I would be lost without them!!!! 🙌😭🙏🏼 I'm basing the Numbers Game geography mainly off of This Map by xads181 on Reddit. It is so gorgeous and helpful! 😍 I also referenced This Map from the One Piece Wiki, and This Map from ClayStage.com. I made this map using miro.com.

Numbers Game Map ~ Chapter 34

Part 35

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

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cindersnows · 2 days

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i think as viewers we find it easy to sit back and judge each character until their motivations are explained to us in detail like with purple and king and chosen. even with victim its fairly easy to guess a portion of why she is doing this. and that's partially because avam is just made to be like that so all audiences can understand it and why the characters do what they do, and also partially because it's a little difficult to do more subtle storytelling when you can only express character feelings through their body language (and the body language has to be fairly exaggerated so that everyone can understand how the character is feeling).

so then as a result when we see green falling deep into the hole of social media it's easy to scoff and judge and say come on green, do better. we see it as him just getting too cocky again- look at green with his ego and his need to seem cool, he's sucking up to people again so he can get validation. and people understand that, they're even comparing his arc to purple, but they're forgetting to actually see things from his point of view.

like yeah. green was mean to yellow! and that was a kind of assholey thing to do, agreeing with people when they say yellow didn't do much. but like people do stupid shit all the time, especially to get approval. green hearting mean comments wasn't him on his villain arc, he probably barely thought about it. haven't you ever done anything without thinking or made a joke in bad taste. honestly it's a little ironic how quick people were to jump on him when he did something kind of mean, it reminded me of actual cancel culture! fascinating shit. we really are a part of the story.

anyways green started off as the weakest. he tries his best to be good at other things, first building, then music, but for some reason whenever he does well in something his friends get jealous or upset. (he pours himself into that thing and unintentionally ignore s or snaps at his friends--- its a repeating pattern at this point). it's mostly because their competitive spirit, something which is seen in a lighthearted manner but has gotten them killed or hurt on multiple occasions and i feel like they're going to have to address that at some point. whenever green sets boundaries, they're ignored, even if cg think they're just acting in the greater good.

hell, even purple, we've barely seen them interact after s3- who's to say purple wouldn't just scoff at him as well? she's already not very experienced with actual friendships (based on the way they just expected green to brush the betrayal off in parkour, they acted more like it was a small disagreement than a full on issue), so he may just assume this is how friends are.

basically the point of this is to say, no one ever celebrates his success. obviously he's competitive with his friends too, but having been at the bottom of the group from the start, he's visibly very insecure about this stuff, and having people attempt to kick him down during every success he gets (which he works very hard for) will lead to him needing validation from elsewhere. clearly, social media is supposed to give him this.

but like someone in the community pointed out, now he's appealing to hundreds of thousands of people instead of just 5 or 6. the praise is awesome, but seeing that people still have criticism of him just makes him throw himself into his work even more. it also probably functions as a form of escapism for him; he's so busy working, editing, writing, he barely even notices that his friends are avoiding him. it's possible he's purposely using youtube as a way to ignore his gut. anyways, blue's still willing to hang out and record with him, so what's the issue? (it's not as if blue is the least confrontational of the cg lol)

i have. been in this exact position. the moment you make anything, you're looking straight at the numbers. it becomes what you think of in the morning and during the creation process. you're skimming comments for keywords--- good, bad, more, less, etc. you listen even when you don't mean to. yeah maybe the guy was a little mean about one of my friends but ultimately it's just constructive criticism! it's not like she'll see this anyway. it's fine.

and yeah green needs to stop being so obsessive but i think he deserves to break down first. like what ash said--- he expresses his negative emotions the least out of everyone, he barely takes breaks, it's going to come crashing down. and i think when cg confront him about his behaviour he deserves to yell at them for the way he gets treated. it really hurts when all you are is the butt of the joke even when they mean it in a lighthearted way. if the arc just ends with green being knocked down a peg as usual, i will be very fucking upset because he's literally already at the bottom of the ladder, what more do you want?

#theo's rambles #alan becker #animation vs animator #animation vs minecraft #ava influencer arc #influencer arc #green influencer arc #ava green #avm green

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spideyhexx · 2 days

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have you considered singer billy also lives on a ranch best of both worlds

BUT i’ve had this thought brewing that you’re new in town and your car breaks down and literally the only person you know to call is billy :( and you’re stressed out probably crying because like. your car. broken. and he comes to try and fix it and lets you sit in his truck where it’s nice and warm

YES I imagine he still owns a ranch and all, he just also sings :(

new in town and you know Billy within a week of moving there. Not cause you even sought him out but because the people in town have mentioned him. How he’s the best guy to go to if you need something fixed. If one of your animals got loose, Billy’s the one to call.

And just on good faith, one of the old ladies that mentioned him, gives you his phone number, despite the fact you weren’t planning on reaching out to a total stranger any time soon.

Then you happen to run into him randomly. Maybe at a grocery store where you comment on his hat and once he says his name is Billy you kinda make a face that has him blushing and going, “heard about me already? By god, ‘ve got a reputation.”

And you tell him it’s not a bad one. He’s much more handsome than you expected but completely and utterly the gentleman he was described as.

then it’s only another week later that your car breaks down. You’re too far out from your home or the main center of town but what you do know is what you’ve heard about Billy. And you’ve met him at least, so it wouldn’t be weird to call him, right? You do it anyways and he barely hesitates to come help.

He’s there in under five minutes with his pickup. It’s night, and he can tell how stressed you are, so Billy’s first priority is making sure you’re okay. Part of him worries you got hurt somehow but once you say you’re physically fine, he gets you to sit in his car, shows you how his radio works in there so you can play music if you want.

He goes to try and fix your car in the meantime and you can’t help but snoop a little. His car isn’t completely clean but it’s him, even if you don’t know him well.

he’s got a half empty thing of cigarettes, a lighter, water bottle, some crumpled up pieces of paper that you don’t look into. Loose change, of course. He’s got a picture of his family, a small, wallet sized one. He may or may not have a condom or two in his glovebox which you try to forget about immediately.

There’s a blanket over the driver’s seat, looks like it was knitted by someone.

When he comes back, it almost spooks you.

he fixed whatever it was with your car and he sends you off on your way, saying awkwardly to let him know you got home safe while you tell him you owe him.

#modernasks #billyasks #im spiraling #billy the kid #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid fanfiction #billy the kid imagine

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maikissed · 2 days

Text

cherry flavoured lips part 3

Kylian Mbappé x reader

And there was one, very disturbing truth behind anger taking over Kylian’s common-sense: he turned wrathful and dangerous. warnings: none

Previous parts: part 1, part 2

Bon appétit!

“Hello, you” Gia beamed as soon as she opened the door before his eyes with a quick swing.

He greeted his friend with his most charming and bright smile, the sound of music coming from behind her was subtle, a sign that the party was yet about to start. Most of the time he made an appearance closer to it’s end than beginning, but there was something he anticipated way too much to delay his arrival. Gia eyed him mysteriously, with a glint of amusement painting on her face, and took a step to the side to let Kylian in.

“Happy birthday” he leaned to her to press a quick kiss on her cheek “Hope you stay such a wonderful and sweet person for another year” he smirked while pulling away, handing her a little gift bag for the occasion.

Gia snorted with a frown at his sarcastic wishes, voicing out a honey coated thank you as she accepted his present.

“Good thing you are at least good at buying gifts, though” she laughed turning around and taking his arm to lead him inside her apartment.

“I have to be honest, y/n always helped me pick them out, but this year I was on my own” he muttered eyeing the surroundings, already spotting few familiar faces.

Gia hummed at this information, not actually giving him a sign that she might be disappointed in a poorer choice of a birthday gift for her, but more thoughtfully, wondering about something that appeared in her mind. She stopped suddenly, facing him, her facial expression unreadable.

“She is here with her new tidy and well-mannered boyfriend. He’s British, you know” the way she articulated this sentence made his lips twist in a mocking smile “She didn’t tell me much, but the way things took turn between both of you worries me” one of her brows shot up as she peered at him. He knew she expected for him to clue her in to it.

“Kyliaaaaan!” there was a call from behind him, more like a roar to be honest, and he gladly turned away from Gia to greet his friend Remy. He could sense Gia’s annoyance at breaking her little investigation “Long time no see, you handsome beast” Remy laughed pulling Kylian into a tight hug “You gotta keep up, I’ll make you something to drink” and with this last sentence Remy pulled him in the direction of the bar, leaving Gia frustrated and annoyed. She turned to find y/n.

He spotted her among the crowd not so long later, and despite being surrounded by many of his good friends he haven’t seen for quite some time, he could not tear his eyes away from her and this new addition of hers, smiling politely at everyone they made the tiniest conversation with. The guy was tall, just a little scrawny though, he admitted he was good looking just enough, hair perfectly styled, a dirty blonde. But nothing really admirable, he concluded. Nevertheless there he was, standing next to her, close, very close, his arm wrapped around her waist, his palm gently caressing her side, tenderly and affectionately, Kylian was eyeing the movements of his hand along her body way too attentive. It did make him feel uncomfortable, he moved his fingers up his shirt to undo a few buttons, since he registered something growing painfully inside his gullet. The sour taste of whiskey was turning it even worse but he could not stop from sipping it. There were words around him, some questions, he believed he answered a few of them, but his mind was absent, focused on a scene few meters away. Y/n laughed, gazing up at her companion, her eyes pretty and sparkly, her hair styled different tonight, wavy and wild. Beautiful. Truthfully he did not expect her to attend with him tonight, at some point he somehow forgot about this new revelation, maybe even blocked it from being true in his mind. But right now he kept observing them together from the distance, many restless thoughts raging through his head. They truly seemed close, did he have her already? Did she fuck him? Did she enjoy it? Are they going to fuck tonight? Do they spend every night together? What the fuck? He could not believe everything that was happening right now. Anger started to take over him. And there was one, very disturbing truth behind anger taking over Kylian’s common-sense: he turned wrathful and dangerous.

“Are you going to introduce me?” Ian whispered in y/n’s ear, she stiffened for a moment wondering about how to escape this situation. She smiled timidly at him, taking a quick look in Kylian’s direction.

Of course she could not omit to mention about being friends with the Kylian Mbappé himself, because pressing on the lies would not do her good in her very first serious relationship. But Ian did not know how far their friendship went and she could not block her fears about the very first interaction with Kylian after they parted so coldly and unpleasantly few months ago. She was such a coward. But she could not hide the fact that she missed him.

And there was no point in opposing, it might wake some doubts and even suspicions in Ian so she agreed, nodding with a smile, and taking his hand with intention to approach Kylian. Few more steps his way and she was heavily fighting the urge to run away from here as fast as she could. Kylian noticed her in no time, a very dark but delightful smile appearing on his face as he looked at her, just at her.

“Hi” she called, rather stiffly, but she greeted him with a kind smile. He still did not look in Ian’s direction.

Kylian leaned into her, close, with aim to greet with her, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek and she felt hot and nervous. A normal greeting, as she did with every other friend present here. Nothing weird, nothing suspicious, still her legs turned weak. He said hi back as he straightened up.

“I wanted to introduce you my…” she started in English, something heavy, like a bile, or more like a stone, appeared in her throat and blocked her voice from coming out, she could not fathom why, but she swallowed heavily and added quickly: “My boyfriend, Ian”

That’s when he finally looked at him.

“Ian. Nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan” Ian added, calm and collected, with a subtle accent, he truly seemed nice.

“Kylian” he shook his stretched out hand and y/n let out a big breath of relief “Appreciate it”

“I was really surprised when y/n mentioned you guys are acquainted” Ian continued and Kylian smirked scoffingly at his choice of words. Y/n actually went pale.

“Oh, that’s how she put it?” Kylian asked, his eyes beaming playfully as he looked down at her “In fact, we know each other since diapers, our mothers are very close friends” he said nonchalantly before bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip of his drink.

Ian peeked quickly at y/n, a sign that confirmed Kylian’s suspicions that she skimped on stories about him and how long they knew each other. And definitely skipped crucial elements regarding their long time friendship. It should make him feel downhearted, it did deep down, but he was not paying attention to it now. He was determined to prove something here, using nothing but the truth.

Although Ian did not come off perplexed at this information. His expression cool and relaxed.

“That’s great” Ian nodded “You guys go way back”

“Oh, we do” Kylian hummed, his gaze traveling back to her “Don’t worry, chérie, I am not going to embarrass you with stories, at least not so soon” a cocky smirk appearing on his lips.

And she frowned delicately, for his eyes only to see, because she guessed that the meaning hidden behind these words was not really innocent. Ian chuckled, but she could sense that he preferred to change the subject.

“You play a game this Sunday, we will stay in Paris for few more days, I was discussing it with y/n, that we should definitely buy tickets to see it”.

Yes, such conversation has taken place, but right now y/n had doubts if it was such a good idea. She hoped Ian would forget, she had various ideas about many other plans for them for this week, just to make him forget about attending the closest PSG game.

“Oh, that’s a fantastic idea” Kylian politely agreed “It’s been a long time since you last came to see me play” he turned to her, his attitude friendly and amiable, but by some means she sensed a ruse hiding beneath it all.

She was not exactly sure why she was so reluctant in this encounter. It was truly a pleasant and nice conversation they had, but she knew Kylian, she knew she hurt him, she could see it deep in his eyes.

“I’ll send you tickets, how about that?” he proposed generously.

Strange feelings enveloped y/n in a few seconds, it came out of nowhere, she did not expect it, the conversation started to fade around her suddenly. A heavy burden fell upon her shoulders quickly, like a lightning striking just beneath her feet. She started to fight for the next breath, an alarming sensation, like she was about to faint in any second now. It terrified her, strong and cold chills ran across her whole body and she muttered a fast apology, informing that she needs to find a bathroom. And she left them alone, with no second thought if it was a good idea. She did not care, she needed some time alone. She almost ran in the opposite direction, not very much focused about where she was heading. She realised she ended in Gia’s room. The noisiness of music and conversation fading in the quiet room. She rested on the closest armchair, trying to calm her nerves and shaking hands. Was she experiencing a panic attack? She wasn’t sure, she never had one before. She breathed a sing of relief as her mind started to slow down, quieting down. Looking at the shelf to her right she spotted a collection of pictures collected upon it and stood up when she noticed a few that she recognized and remembered. Gia loved stacking memories with pictures, the collection was quite impressive. Some hanged on strings along the walls of her room, other framed prettily on the shelves. A specific one caught her attention and she approached it, spotting a photo taken at one of Gia’s Christmas parties. It was her and Kylian. He was seated on a chair, looking to the side and up at her as she stood above him, her fingers delicately grazing his chin from behind, she was laughing at something, looking at him, he was smiling softly at her. She took in their appearance, scoffing at the sight of her long, colourful nails, now shorter and elegant. They both looked careless and so young, so unburdened. But what caught her attention the most was the colour of Kylian’s hair, he dyed it white at the time, and despite the fact that she was immensely drunk that night, she remembered it so well. And she remembered she used to not be so innocent as well.

-December, 2017-

“Ky!” she called as soon as she noticed him enter with a few of his friends. She was anticipating him for a whole evening. And he was always late, she was embittered, she loved partying with him and he always made her wait for him “You can take off that beanie now, it is not snowing inside” she snickered noticing him wearing a ridiculous headgear in a covered room. Was this a new style now or what?

She approached him closely, rather wobbly due to the amount of alcohol she has already poured into herself, reaching for his hat, but he shifted swiftly to avoid her reaching hand. She frowned, visibly surprised. She noticed a mysterious smile on Tchaga’s face from behind him. Interesting, he was wearing a similar hat as well.

“What is it now? Are you hiding something there?” she asked playfully, still trying to snatch the hat off his head. She was truly determined.

“Don’t” he warned, his lips stretching into a little smile and she giggled.

“Let me see” she whined, still putting up a little fight with him. But she was drunk and he was way too sober and strong for her. He grabbed her sides to steady her “You did something with your hair, didn’t you?” she laughed, excitement gushing out from her “Show me!”

“No, I did not” he opposed with an accusatory expression. Oh, he would not give her shit now. She knew he was lying. And it made her even more excited now “I’m just comfortable like this” he commented.

And she was a smart girl, that she was, so she shrugged as a sign of finally giving up, stepping away from him, making his grip on her loosening. And that was when he lost with her. She still had it in her to be clever enough and quickly reached for the hat, taking it off him in a swift move. He groaned trying to get his hat back, one hand on her waist, another gripped the forearm of the hand holding his beanie. But it was too late already, she could see it now. She did not laugh, she did not appear much surprised. She just gazed up at him, her eyes round and big as she took in his appearance. He looked like he expected some form of stronger reaction from her. She swayed in his hold.

“It’s white” she stated and he smirked in amusement at this obvious conclusion.

Was he about to make fun of her now? Looked like it.

“It’s cool, it’s hot” she emphasized, still mesmerised at the sight of him “Suits you”

“Yeah? You like it?” he chuckled, because she truly must have looked funny, so serious and so stunned.

“Mhm” she nodded “It’s sexy” she added, noticing the playfulness disappearing in his eyes, making room for something closer to curiosity now, with a bit of more intensity as he looked at her.

She was young, and she was wild, drunk, carefree and absolutely… hot right now. So many concerning feelings she had for him this whole time now dangerously skyrocketed. She realised she stood there awkwardly, trying to keep herself straight, trying to calm her racing heart, calm the drive awaken in her. She was turned on. Irrationally, rabidly turned on by her friend. She wanted to climb him. Oh, fuck. She was so drunk and as it turned out - horny. And so, so stupid.

“Alright” he murmured, his voice dropping even lower. Oh fuck, fuck! “How many drinks did you have, ma chérie?”

“A few” she choked out nervously after few seconds.

“I see” he nodded, still holding her close “Want me to take you home now?” his eyes… stood out much more now in contrast with his hair. Dark, enchanting.

Oh no, don’t talk to me like that, a little voice screamed inside her head. She was close to a tremendous break out, close to doing something foolish. She could not trust herself if they were to be alone.

“Just one more hour?” she managed to say and he accepted her proposition, swearing to keep her close to himself for the rest of the night to make sure she would not drink too much anymore. For her own good.

He was being a good friend. She began experiencing torture.

#kylian mbappe imagine #mbappe imagine #football imagine #football fics #football imagines #kylian mbappe fic #kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x reader

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lexithwrites · 2 days

Note

love love love the sugar daddy au, do you have any nsfw thoughts to spare?

this is kinda gonna just be their first time together as im not 100% on their dynamic overall,,,,bare with me whilst i figure this couple out:

i feel like their first kiss is when they're drunk at regulus' penthouse, like they're sat on the sofa watching something or listening to music and talking and drinking some nice wine and regulus is looking away as remus stares at him and then just kinda leans a little closer at first

regulus flinches, he's never used to physical touch anymore, and then looks at remus and realises he genuinly wants to kiss him, thats it, and he leans in so their lips touch and its immediate fireworks

both of them feel electric and the soft kiss turns into deep kissing, slow and sensual, then passionate and desperate as they touch and grip and feel and grope and start to moan into each other's mouths but then regulus jumps back because he's scared, he hasn't done this in so long and he doesn't know what to feel and remus is so apologetic about it

then,,,,the sexual tension becomes too much

regulus caves, he goes to remus' flat when james is out with his brother and just,,,he kisses him so desperatley, moaning into his mouth about how horny he is and that he cant stop thinking about remus and he needs to fuck him and remus is all for it, he's been in the same boat

but regulus knows what he wants and he knows how this is going to go, so he lays out ground rules, safe words, dos and donts etc and remus is all for it, its the most safe and seen he's felt having sex EVER

regulus takes the lead, he feels every inch of remus before even taking his clothes off and its the best kind of torture

remus is a pretty submissive guy and he's under his spell straight away, just whimpering and pleading for regulus to let him touch him but he isnt ready, he needs his fill of remus first

regulus is,,,very good at giving head. he doesn't have a lot of experiance with partners but he watches porn, he has toys, he knows what he's doing, and remus' thighs are shaking by the end of it

regulus has never seen this intense look of pleasure ever on a partners face and he's actually flustered, he didnt expect remus to enjoy it so much but then he's being thrown on the bed and its time,,,he has to let remus see him naked

now, im a trans reg truther always, so he's very nervous. remus knows he's trans, they've had this talk, but he's never had sex with someone after transitioning and he's so scared remus will hate the scars and maybe hate the fact that he doesn't have a 'real' dick, remus loves his body so much its crazy

he's never been so attracted to someone and he wants to devour him,,,so he does

remus' sexuality is a bit of a mystery to me, but i feel like he's had experiance with,,,everything that can be down there, and he just gives regulus his fucking all, he's sloppy and messy but so precise and attentive, every time regulus tugs his hair he stays in that spot, every new moan and gasp is what he wants again and again, its amazing,,,he does himself proud

and then the actual fucking,,,its a bit awkward

remus has to get condoms and regulus is lying there watching him and then gets under the sheets so he's comfortable, and then remus is leaning over him just staring into his eyes and saying how beautiful and handsome he is and regulus just blushes and tells him to put it in already, and remus frowns

'i want this to last forever, regulus...dont you?' and regulus melts, plus it makes him wet af to hear that

and god,,,the sex is good guys, its so good

neither has ever felt this good before and its overwhelming in the best way

they're both panting and moaning and gripping at ecah other, begging for more and almost on the verge of tears because they've never felt so connected to another person, and its a mix of hot and fast and hard and slow and deep and loving and its just,,,UGH

they're a hot fucking couple idc

and afterwards when they're both cleaned and showered and the sheets are changed, regulus will NOT sleep in a dirty bed, they're lying together naked, just gently touching each other and holding each other, regulus confesses that he's been so scared to have sex again because he didn't think he'd ever enjoy it, he never did as a woman so why would he as a man? why would people care about his pleasure now?

and remus just kisses his forehead and promises to never let him feel that way again

regulus wakes remus up with a blowjob the next morning and rides him for ages, they basically spend the next three days fucking and going down on each other to make up for lost time until remus has to go back to work and even then he comes home in the afternoon to naked regulus in bed napping, and he's so fucking happy

#the marauders #regulus black #remus lupin #moonwater #moonseeker #remus x regulus #regulus x remus #remus lupin x regulus black #regulus black x remus lupin #mail

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hwnglx · 21 hours

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follow-up on my reading on them from last year, since i don't think it was satisfactory, and a sweet anon requested <𝟑

how do they feel about each other? jimin + jeongyeon

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

did they ever date?

yes, they did. however, it was very brief and ended abruptly.

how does jimin feel about jeongyeon?

he connects nostalgic memories to her. it seems like this “relationship” or moreso just puppy love, happened when he was young, inexperienced and also busy. like he had a lot going on, and didn't put much effort into the connection.. it was more casual and not overly serious to him.

it does seem as though he was overwhelmed by her abundance of energy and fast approaches at some point and broke things off himself. (eight of wands plus four of cups is giving ghosting.. ㅜ)

she was just.. taking things too fast and being too much for him. jeongyeon was very invested, just clinging to him. this overbearing energy didn't match his more easygoing approach at all, so jimin was like “nah i'm out.”

it's kinda funny since i did see that scene of him side-eyeing her at the music show interview in my minds eye, and thinking “또 저렇네” meaning “she's like this again” she just kept rubbing him the wrong way, and he was getting annoyed.

i don't see him putting much thought or consideration into how she felt. he wasn't having it anymore, so he just dipped. seems like it was his more immature era, since i do feel it was a little harsh on his part..

how does jeongyeon feel about jimin?

the page of cups immediately coming out lowkey broke my heart. she definitely did have more of an emotional connection to jimin than he did; it's giving first love. so much dreaminess and idealized views she projected onto him.

a lot of attachment and obsession early on in the connection from her. she also had some issues with trust. she couldn't figure out his signals, felt like he must be hiding something or playing her. she very much was serious about the connection, whereas jimin made her feel as if it was more fun and games for him. this suspicion resulted in her getting overbearing, questioning his every move. i keep seeing her just texting him asking where he is, what he's doing.

jeongyeon thought he was being selfish and inconsiderate. she thinks that jimin essentially used her for however long he felt like entertaining her, and coldly left her hanging once he got bored.

she might still be holding onto a grudge to this day, since i don't see any resolution or moving on here. there seems to be a continuous attachment to him, with the obsessive devil clinging onto the knight of swords (representing jimin as a libra sun) at the end of the spread.

#kpop tarot #bts tarot #twice tarot

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aimedis · 1 day

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i would like to hear more about your sweetheart and asher sibling dynamic 👁👁

OKAYOKAYOKAY I WAS JS THINKING ABOUT HOW BOTH IN THE IMPERIUM AND PRIME UNIVERSE THEY HUGGED AFTER EMOTIONALLY TAXING SITUATIONS (after asher killed alexis and milo was recovering and then at the summit) AND IT JUST AJNDEIDNIDNI GOT ME THINKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY COULD BE LITERALLY SIBLINGS because i was thinking too much about it and fell down a rabbit hole of my own thoughts

i mean, sweetheart is basically milo 2.0 and we already know that those two are good pals but i really think that asher and sweetheart are closer than it might appear (since sweetheart is a listener, it's kind of limited how much screen time they get, especially with someone who's not their partner)

also, sweetheart met gabe i'm pretty sure so they could have idk trauma bonded over losing him in a way none of the other mates could have

imagine asher taking a nap as a wolf on sweetheart, getting his head scratched by them

imagine sweetheart chastising asher for never eating healthy and how he's gonna get sick (fussing over him like a mother hen)

imagine asher pushing past milo to say hi to sweetheart first whenever they see each other

imagine asher and sweetheart ganging up on david (and occasionally darlin) to tease him (them)

imagine sweetheart ruffling asher's hair everytime they see him or he does something stupid

imagine asher asking sweetheart for help when picking out baaabe's ring and writing his vows

imagine sweetheart asking for asher's help to pick out gifts for anyone in the pack (specifically milo) because asher is god teir gift giver

imagine asher and sweetheart have the same music and they send each other song earbuds all the time/have a shared playlist (also arguing over what songs go in there because ash likes some weird shit)

sweetheart: "ash, what the fuck is this? change the song."

asher: "but i like this song!"

#i meant to post this years ago #i also like sam/sweetheart as siblings #i just love the shaw pack #they're a family :(((#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted sweetheart #redacted asher #redacted headcanons #redacted milo #redacted david #redacted darlin

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l0stfoster · 9 hours

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Hello!! I recently became obsessed with the Cursed Tulsa AU, I'm still new to it though. As a Two Bit fan, I was just wondering more about the details of his jumping I guess. Was Paul involved? If so, how did Darry feel when he found that out. (Sorry if I'm getting things confused or anything) so many accounts are posting stuff like that but could we please get some headcannons if you have time :) keep making more Tulsa cursed aus!

Hey! Glad you're enjoying the AU so far >:) You're not confusing anything, and I'd love to give you the little bits and details.

Details of Two's Jumping

- Two's jumping is fully based on the musical's depiction, so all of it is taken from there; I'd go far enough to say that you could look at my Justice for Tulsa animatic and re-work it with the Cursed. - To summarize, Two-Bit had just been walking home, I like to imagine he'd been called in for police questioning late in the day; which is why he'd been out and about around the time that the socs had chosen to gather to mourn Bob. He could've flown home if he'd gotten out sooner, but flying at night was something his mom had always nagged him for; so he'd tried avoiding it. The second the socs had their sights on him he did attempt to fly away, but wings big enough to hold your body weight are also long enough to grab. - The only thing that really changes in the jumping is that when they hold Two down, he's on his stomach; and, well, Bev decides a good way to get the message across that Bob's death won't be easily pushed aside is to target the exact thing that kept the greasers from being anything like the socs. She hadn't originally planned to take a lighter to his wing, but watching her cigarette singe the feathers at the middle of his back sparked a thought. Marcia and Paul were the only two who didn't take some kind of sick enjoyment in it, so at least some socs have morals? - Two didn't get to run away in comparison to the musical as well, the only reason his jumping ended was because Paul redirected their focus off of Two and onto attempting to find Johnny and Pony. If they hadn't let up, I wouldn't be surprised if Bev went for both wings- something I don't doubt would've been fatal for Two-Bit for multiple reasons. She wouldn't have been intending to kill or anything but at the same time, if a human can live without wings, couldn't a harpy? (The answer is no)

Was Paul involved?

- Paul was involved, yes, but didn't really do much physically when it came down to it. I've always imagined him to be more of the leader type; the kind of person who would sit back and allow others to get their hands dirty with rare exceptions for it; such as jumping Pony at the beginning of the musical. - He'd been the one who somewhat prompted the jumping, having pointed out that Two was walking home though not making any moves himself until after the other socs had gone ahead and gotten Two-Bit held down, and even that was just the declaration of 'war'. - I've said it before, but he hadn't been in on Bev burning and mutilating Two's wing in the way that she had. He’d only caught onto what she was doing when it was actively happening, and even he thought it was pretty fucked. His avoidance of engaging in that mutilation and his lack of active physical participation is honestly the only reason why he'd even been given a chance at redemption by the greasers, let alone a chance to develop a bond with them. It was a last-minute decision but I think it works so much better with his character. - He’s cursed too, whether he knows it or not while all this is going down, and so I think he’d have a subconscious aversion to directly harming the greasers in a way that involves their own curses— something that contrasts the other sods in how they’ve muzzled Soda before or how they end up fucking up Two’s wing. Even then, he’d had some real heavy denial about loving a fae at one point. - Keep in mind that I’m absolutely not defending his actions or behavior pre-redemption, he’s still a very flawed person who despite having societal pressures shoved down his throat still chose to behave as he did. I think it’s just important to clarify that to make it easy to understand how he’d been able to be redeemed and why he isn’t as villainized as Bev is during the jumping. Paul was remorseful, but Bev was not.

How does Darry react?

- Raw anger is almost good enough of a descriptor, but at the same time, even rage doesn't even begin to describe how Darry feels hearing about Two's jumping and Paul's involvement with it. He knew they left off on a bad note with a lot of tension, but to think that Paul would target someone that not only Darry had expressed a lot of care for but also one that Paul himself had been friendly with for a while was unbelievable. The only thing that stops Darry from acting on his anger automatically is that he can't do anything drastic with two kid brothers under his care. - Despite Two not telling anyone anything, they could easily guess who was involved when they saw select socs with Two's feathers. Paul being the leader type is a majority of the reason as to why Darry blames what happens to Two on him. - It's probably good to note that Darry had no idea Paul wasn't the one who burned him, as Two-Bit avoided sharing any details of it like the plague due to being so upset about his wing and how "ugly" it made him- but he'd assumed that the second he'd found out what happened due to their already negative relationship. It's simultaneously karma and unfortunate for Paul- cause yeah, he did prompt the jumping and was a total ass pre-rumble, but all of the anger was directed at just him instead of including any of the other socs that were there that night; save for Bev with Ace (and Two).

#foster talks #the outsiders #the outsiders musical #foster answers #cursed tulsa #cursed tulsa au #darry curtis #paul holden #two bit mathews

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goquokka00 · 10 hours

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Stray Kids on Weed

The Bangchan Strain In which the love of their life smokes the mary jane, and they give it a shot for the first time...

A Few Notes: This is purely just supposed to be funny and a joke. I've also never been high and while I am friends with those who have either tried weed or do weed on the regular, I only know so much. So please just bear with me and have a good laugh, okay? Okay. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

I have a very firm belief that Mr. Bangchan over here in the corner's first time ever even dealing with weed is through a joint. He gives me the vibe that if he ever did smoke, it would be from joints, and he'd be good at rolling in general.

He sees you smoking it from time to time, and this time, he wanted to give it a shot. Of course, with any first time smoking, he ends up going into a coughing fit. I mean, you're breathing in smoke, why wouldn't you cough the first time? Hello?

But once the initial high kicks in, I see Bangchan as someone who'd be very giggly. Like, anything and everything is funny to this mother fucker. The picture that has been hanging for forever on your wall that was honestly really beautiful is immediately the funniest thing Bangchan has ever laid his eyes on because, and I quote, "The bear be kronked."

It isn't just the picture. It's watching dance practices, his own music, texts he's had with you in the past, need I say more? And if he found something funny when he was sober, then you bet your ass Bangchan's pissing his pants laughing. One time you had him rewatch the video of Jisung twerking that the younger member had sent out to just the members specifically, and Bangchan was on the floor, struggling to breathe from how hard he was laughing.

I also have this feeling that Bangchan would end up being way more emotional. Since he doesn't really show emotion when he's sober, I feel like more of his emotions would come out when high because you're relaxed, and riding the vibe train to who knows where. But I'm not talking just being more susceptible to his emotions.

I'm talking the stereotypical "Teenage girl is on her period and literally can't control her emotions." Bro will literally hear one sad thing and start bawling, only to giggle a few minutes later because he thought he sounded funny and saw you laughing at him crying.

And don't even get me started on the stripping issue.

I have this gut feeling that Bangchan would find clothes...uncomfortable...when high. They're clinging to his skin, tickling his arms, his jeans just feel weird, or his sweats are too hot. And so he'd just take them off, right then and there. And I mean everything.

If you're not there to watch him, or if he gets into the mary-ja-mooch when you're not there, you're gonna end up walking into the living room to see Bangchan ass-naked and laughing at his schlong because of how it's moving.

By the time his high is finally dissipating, you're usually able to get him back onto the couch curled up with a blanket and some water. And once he's sober, you both agree that this strictly stays between you two and that the kids will NEVER find out about his.

Do I think that Chan would go back to smoking? Maybe, probably not? I feel like he'd only do it on occasion, maybe if he's had a really stressful day and needs a break, but I feel like since he always ends up like...y'know...he tends to keep it on the down low.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d

#stray kids #skz #stray kids imagine #skz imagines #skz stay #bangchan #skz scenarios #bang chan #christopher bang #stray kids chris #bangchan skz #bangchan stray kids #skz chan #stray kids bang chan #bang chan stray kids #christopher bahng #chan

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eri-pl · 11 hours

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You are a great believer of the only Eru can create true life theory it seems from your posts- what origins of dragons do you subscribe to then in how they were made from something else? How much personhood do you ascribe to individuals among them with variation/free will?

Thank you for the ask! I love asks!

First, maybe I am pedantic on words, but I like to be on the same page, so:

I don't fully agree with the word "believer" in context of a fictional setting, especially given that they are people (I've seen one on YT) who genuinely seem to believe in the Legendarium as mythology/religion/I'm not sure what word to use. I don't.

I respect (or sometimes hype about maybe too much) some of Tolkien's ideas on hot his legendarium ties to the real world, can't internalize some others, but at the end of the day, it is fiction, so the question is less "what is true" and more "what makes sense with the story and world", "what Tolkien intended".

And I do believe (based on things I read and watched on YT) that Tolkien did intend to "evil cannot create true life" and "only Eru can create souls". Does "true life" mean "sentient", or "alive in general"? If "sentient", how is that different from "having a soul"? I have no idea. But anyway yea, "Morgoth can't make things that have free will" is a very safe bet about what tolkien thought of it. And does make sense with the story.

(Still, I will take this wording as a compliment. thank you.)

I don't have a single strong HC about how dragons were made. Made from lizards? From big snakes? From dinosaurs which he somehow stole from Valinor (unlikely because siege)? Probably mutated some big lizards.

Personhood? Hmm. the text is tricky there (even a bit contradictory), but I would go with the "they have bits of Morgoth's will in them, a bit like the Ring had Sauron's". No personhood.

My default assumption about various types of more-or-less monsters is:

deeply corrupted Elves/Men: full personhood, but extreme mental issues due to trauma / generational trauma and probably their free will is, how to say it, imprisoned deep inside their minds, so very unlikely to behave in a good way (think: very strong addiction, some extreme mental ilnesses): all variants of Orcs. (Yes, it makes killing them complicated, I can live with that) (Also I did a post on Orcs and how would I try to make them more metaphysically coherent. TLDR they revert after some generations of not being moderated)

fallen spirits: full personhood, self-inflicted (+ some help from evil superiors) trauma, more effective free will, could get over their bs, yes it is hard but also they aren't willing: Morgoth, Sauron, the Balrogs, some various "demons", I'm not sure about some beings. I like to see Thuringwethil here, even though it's probably not canon.

Elven ghosts who agreed to be bound by Sauron (with coercion!) or Morgoth (if he bothers to do necromancy at all), put into various (animal or engineered from parts) bodies: free will fully bound inside, because of the magic. they can regret but they can't escape: werewolves, vampires, stuff like that, also Thuringwethil

bits of Morgoth's will/mind/whatever put into modies of mutated animals: dragons, I'm not sure what else. As they are various bits, they do have some indyvidual character, something like personality, but they aren't persons. Think: OCs. The dragons are Morgoth's OCs. ;D

They (dragons) could be type 3, but from what I remember the text more suggests 4. Or was it just the musical?

And yes, dragons being active after Morgoth was thrown out doesn't contradict this. Ending of the Quenta Silmarillion says that bits of his will still circulate in the world.

I hope this answers your question.

#silm #silmarillion #tolkien legendarium #the silm #the silmarillion #asks #morgoth #melkor #dragons #tolkien monsters

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ningco · 1 day

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almost ours (h.kk)

pairing: hueningkai x reader

genre: romance, angst, lovers to strangers.

🪼ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི

it starts with a spark, a warm evening in hueningkai’s apartment. you’re both sprawled on the couch, legs tangled, his fingers absentmindedly brushing through your hair as you talk about everything and nothing at all. somehow, the conversation turns to the future—your future, together. it feels natural, so easy, to imagine what comes next for the two of you.

“i think they’d have your smile,” you murmur, fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest.

hueningkai’s brow arches in playful curiosity. “who?”

“our baby.” you say it as if the words are second nature, as if you’ve thought about it a hundred times before, the idea living just beneath the surface of your mind, waiting for the right moment to slip out.

he grins, a flush of warmth spreading across his face as his eyes soften. “our baby? we’re going there already?” his tone is teasing, but there’s something genuine in the way he says it—like he’s entertained the idea too. maybe not seriously, but enough to wonder.

you laugh, nudging him gently. “come on, i know you’ve thought about it.”

kai leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “okay, fine. they’d have your eyes, though. you know how everyone gets lost in them.”

you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile that curls at your lips. “maybe your sense of humor. or that laugh that makes everyone feel like they’re in on the best joke.”

he chuckles softly, the sound reverberating through you, making you feel safe, like this moment is all that matters. for a brief second, you let yourself really imagine it—a child with kai’s smile, your eyes, a perfect mix of the two of you. your little family. it feels distant, but close enough to touch.

the conversation continues, and for a while, it’s a sweet fantasy. the kind you both laugh about, adding details like what kind of music they’d like, if they’d be shy like kai or a bit more outgoing like you. it feels like the future is full of endless possibilities, and for that moment, you both indulge in the dream.

but time passes, and dreams start to fade.

the little cracks in your relationship begin to show. you argue more, the weight of your lives and schedules tugging at you from opposite ends. kai’s work pulls him away—he’s busy, distant. you find yourself retreating into your own space, too, where it’s easier not to feel the gap growing between you. the nights on the couch, laughing and dreaming, grow less frequent, replaced with quiet, uneasy silences.

one night, the argument bubbles over—about something insignificant, but it’s enough to shatter what’s left of the warmth you used to share.

“you always do this!” you yell, your voice cracking. “you push me away like you don’t even care anymore!”

kai’s face is a mask of frustration, but behind it, you see the same exhaustion, the same hurt you’re feeling. “i’m trying! do you think i want this? i’m overwhelmed, and i—” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. “i just… i don’t know how to fix this.”

it’s in that moment you realize what you’ve been avoiding—things aren’t working, and no matter how much you both care, you’re slipping through each other’s fingers. the dreams you built together, the child you imagined, the future you thought was certain—it all starts to fade, like smoke dissipating into the air.

the breakup happens quietly, the kind of thing you both saw coming but never wanted to acknowledge. he leaves, and the space he once occupied feels colder than it should. you know it’s for the best, but the ache in your chest doesn’t lessen with time. you keep thinking about what could have been—what *almost* was.

weeks later, you find yourself staring at the ceiling in your darkened room, memories flooding back. you think about the nights you talked about your future, how you and kai would laugh and plan a life that now feels impossibly far away. you wonder about the baby you imagined—would they have had his smile, your eyes? would they have filled the spaces between you, made everything worth it?

the thought lingers, a quiet pain that settles into your bones. the reality of your breakup stings, but it’s the loss of that dream—the one where you and kai made a life together—that keeps you awake at night.

you hate it. you hate that you let yourself believe in something that was never meant to last. but you can’t let go of it, not completely. because no matter how much time passes, the idea of what you could have had together remains, a bittersweet reminder of a future you’ll never see.

you close your eyes and imagine it one last time—a child with kai’s soft smile and your curious eyes, laughter filling a home that was once yours. a life that was almost yours.

but only almost.

end.

#huening kai #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt #txt fluff #huening txt #hyuka #hyuka x reader #txt hyuka #hueningkai angst #txt angst

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orions-choker · 1 day

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Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Serial Killers, Murder, Obsessions, Yandere tendencies, Oral Sex, more to be added.

Chapter Five

In an unfortunate turn of events Y/N was left alone inside the venue, she hadn’t humored the idea that seeing as Kirk was playing he would have to leave her alone to get things ready backstage. Nervously she sat at one of the rickety bar stools, it wobbled under her weight and she steadied herself quickly. “Jesus.” She mumbled to herself. “How is this place still standing?”

Her eyes scanned across the room. It was dingy, dimly lit. It smelt musty and damp, though that might have been the amount of bodies piling in. At the front of the room was an old stage, small and illuminated with stage lights. Decidedly she would never step foot in here alone. She slumped over at the bar, watching the stage curiously as the first band moved to set up. Really all she wanted was to see Kirk play.

In the back of her mind was a prodding feeling. He had acted so strangely earlier in the car, she had never seen him move so aggressively, the shine of that silver blade. A frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she thought about it. What could be so secretive about a knife? A family heirloom maybe? But why in the glovebox.

She was shook from her thoughts by the overwhelming sound of the strum of a guitar. Considering the place looked half abandoned the place had an impressive sound system. It commanded her attention so she turned to the stage once more. The name of the first band escaped her but she watched intrigued anyway.

The group of guys looked nervous even from here, a group of lanky teenagers whose instruments seemed too big for their bodies. But the way they played was anything but. Her senses were assaulted by the clanging of fast and aggressive music. Based on the way the crowd erupted with excitement she would say they were doing good.

It was too much, it rocked her bones, the vibrations in her body made her feel sick. She needed air, she needed to get out. The bar stool almost fell over as she pushed herself down onto the floor. Tucking her arms to her chest she pushed her way through the sea of people towards an illuminated exit sign. She sighed in relief, pushing her body against the door she stumbled out through a side entrance. Cool night air greeted her skin like a welcome embrace.

She leaned against the side of the building, her chest heaving as she drank in the air greedily. Like a weight had been lifted off her chest, her head tilted back as her breathing calmed down. Her eyes scanned the surroundings, she had been led out to a side alley, dimly lit by the distant streetlights from the parking lot. Taking a step forward she turned her head, good she could see Kirk’s car from here if she needed to leave suddenly. Though she desperately wanted to stay, to support him.

Turning her head the other way was looking towards pitch darkness. Distantly there was the sound of a steady drip. The faint scent of iron hung in the air. Her brows furrowed curiously as she took another step forward towards the darkness. Suddenly the hairs on her neck stood up, her skin tingling with the innate sense of danger. She needed to get back inside. Taking a step back from the encroaching darkness her back hit something hard, someone.

A scream ripped through her, attempting to spin around when a heavy hand held her in place, another coming up to cover her mouth muffling her panicked noises. Her eyes went wide, darting across trying to get a glimpse of the assailant behind her. Her body thrashed in the strong grip. This was it, the man she had seen in her backyard, the killer on the loose.

“Shit Y/N calm down.” Kirk’s voice hit her ears, his breath ghosting across her skin. Her body stiffened, the sound in her throat dying out. “It's just me, sorry I didn’t mean to freak you out.” His apology fell on her ringing ears as he slowly released his grip on her. Slowly she turned around, unable to believe it was really him.

But there he was, standing with a sweet sheepish grin, his eyes soft and worried. A sigh of relief rippled through her as she leaned forward pressing her head to his chest. Instinctively his arms came to wrap around her shoulders. “Fuck, Kirk what the hell is wrong with you, who grabs someone like that?” She complained, tilting her head to look up at him. “I thought I was about to get stabbed.”

He looked surprised by that, his hands rubbing along her arms comfortingly. “Ahh, jeez, sorry I thought it would be funny.” He winced. “I went to go say hi before we went on and couldn’t find you.” She took another step forward allowing herself to be enveloped by his comforting aura, her heart still pounding in her chest rapidly. “Why are you so jumpy though?”

It took a moment before her breathing evened out and she was able to form a response. “I don’t know I’m just, all the news lately has been eating away at me…” she groaned. “The other night too, there was someone in our backyard and I haven't been able to shake the feeling of being watched.” She confessed to him as she finally pried herself from his arms.

“In your backyard?” His eyes widened in concern. “Shit why wouldn’t you say something, I shouldn't have left you alone.” There was remorse in his voice. He pulled her back into a tight hug. “C'mon let's head back inside, I’ll sneak you into the back if it makes you feel better.” He guided her towards the door.

Y/N nodded slowly as she let herself be guided back inside, her eyes shifted once more down the alleyway before it disappeared, the scent of iron seemed stronger now, her eyes catching the gleam of a shimmering red trail pooling across the gravel. Then the door shut and she was enveloped once more by the hammering of music against her skull. Kirk guided her easily through the crowd towards another small door, he pushed her inside.

It led to a series of dimly lit hallways, the sounds from outside muffled just slightly, it was enough. It wasn’t empty by any means, groups of people sat gathered around fiddling with instruments. Her eyes caught a group of three men, she recognized them from her first day home in Kirk’s backyard. “Hey guys this is Y/N, she's gonna sit back here for the show she’s not doing too well for her first time.” Kirk pushed her gently into a chair beside them.

Their curious eyes landed on her. A tall blonde man was the first to greet her, a wide nervous smile and intimidating blue eyes. He introduced himself as James, then there was Lars, and Cliff. Kirk’s bandmates. Oddly enough she felt relaxed in their presence. “Sit tight babe, you can see us pretty good from here.” Kirk mumbled as he leaned down to press a soothing kiss to the top of her head.

There it was, that word again that sent a pain through her stomach. Babe, she liked hearing it from him, didn’t like the casual way in which he said it. It was impossible to determine the nature of their relationship, after hanging out for a few weeks she would consider themselves friends. But the way he kissed her in his room, the way he so easily gravitated towards physical affection with her. She wanted more.

Kirk was right, she had a not bad view of the stage from where she was sitting. She watched as the guys exchanged pleasantries with the band before them as they passed each other on the way up. She loved the way Kirk's fingers gripped his guitar, long and slender splayed out across the frets. She needed to see him play.

And see him play she did.. He was an entirely different beast with the guitar in his hand. Focused and skilled, even if it wasn't her favorite style of music it sent a pleasant thrum throughout her. His hands moved at insane speeds, the smile that crossed his face was almost angelic. That's where he was meant to be, on stage, it was the most in his element she had ever seen him. He was gorgeous.

She was left breathless by the end of the set, wide eyed and shaky. She could hardly comprehend that it was already over. A deep sense of disappointment filled her as the lights dimmed and Kirk approached her from the stage. “Is it over already?” She asked breathlessly, standing up to greet him. Her fingers itched to grab him, her body felt like it was on fire.

His laugh filled the air. “Was it good?” He asked her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She could feel the sheen of sweat on his skin through her shirt but she didn’t care. Her eyes were filled with wonder as she looked up at him. She nodded slowly.

“More than good, that was incredible holy shit.” She praised him enthusiastically. “Since when did my nerdy next door neighbor become such a god?” Kirk’s chest puffed up a bit at her words, his grip around her shoulder tightening. She hardly registered the speed in which he was tugging her out of the venue, across the parking lot to his car.

There was a sense of urgency in him as spun her around, pressing her to the side of his car. His hands heavy on her shoulders. “Can I kiss you again.” He asked like a desperate plea, stepping forward between her legs as he towered over her. “Please.” Y/N nodded quickly, her hands coming up to tangle in his slightly damp hair. Their lips pressed together hungrily, an aggressive clashing of teeth and tongues.

It was wet and sloppy as she moaned into his mouth. His hands were warm against her chilled skin as they traced up her stomach beneath her shirt. His knee rocked between her legs, a heavy pressure against her core that had her nails digging into his scalp. Her hips rolled down against him as she gasped against his lips.

A loud wolf whistle broke them apart. A group of drunks across the parking lot hollering at the show they were putting on. “Fuck, not here Kirk.” Y/N pushed him away gently, shivering at the growl that left his lips, the way his hands gripped tighter onto her before letting go. There was something possessive in the way he loomed over her. “Take me home.”

That seemed to satiate his hunger, the promise of something more in private. The two of them climbed into his car eagerly. His hand found itself a spot on her inner thigh, his fingers digging into the fabric of her jeans. He massaged her roughly as he peeled out of the parking lot, racing down the dead streets with one hand clutching the steering wheel. She squealed in a mixture of surprise and excitement.

“You have no fucking idea what you’re doing to me Y/N.” Kirk choked out, his eyes darting to her’s quickly. “I want to destroy you.” The words were harsh and biting. It sent a heat of arousal through her, the space between her thighs dampened and she pressed her legs together, squeezing down on Kirk's hand. Instead of pulling down their street Kirk went a street over, half-hazardly parking in an empty lot. Y/N looked up at him confused. “I can't wait, get in the back.”

Looking between him and the back sweat of Kirk's car, Y/N hesitated for a moment. Her eyes dropped down to his jeans, watching the strain of the fabric around his growing hard on. She swallowed hard and nodded, quickly climbing over the center console into the back seat. Kirk's hand rested on her ass as he guided her back before joining her. “I don’t want to fuck in the back of your car like horny teenagers.” She gasped out, settling down on her knees between his legs as he leaned back in the seats.

He looked down on her with an amused smile, the sight of his pointed crooked teeth making her skin tingle pleasantly. “That’s fine, just please touch me.” He groaned, his fingers popped open the button on his jeans, pulling the zipper down over the growing bulge. Her stomach dropped at the sight, his cock pushed up against the flimsy fabric of his underwear and her mouth went dry.

She was about to blow him. Kirk, her next door neighbor, her childhood crush, her current crush. She watched with wide eyes as he reached below his waistband, his hand wrapping around the base of his length and tugging it out. The head was swollen to a pretty deep red color, leaking already at the tip. Her fingers dug into his thighs in anticipation. The desperation in his eyes had her leaning forward, wrapping her lips around the skin.

His body shuddered beneath her with a shaky groan. “Oh,fuck.” He gasped. Kirk's hands came up to head, dragging his fingers through her hair as he pulled it back out of the way for her. Giving him a better look of her face as she hollowed out her cheeks and sunk down further across the girth. Y/N’s nose nestled into the patch of hair at the base of his cock as she fully swallowed him. “Jesus christ Y/N.”

His cock twitched across her tongue. The weight was pleasant in her mouth and she hummed gently, smiling at the way his body rolled up at the vibrations. He tasted a lot like sweat, she supposed that was to be expected after he played a show, but beneath it was the sweet scent of tobacco that seemed to linger on his skin. Slowly she pulled back, pressing her tongue to the head playfully as her hand gripped the rest of him.

She worked in tandem with the strokes of her hand, sucking on the head and twirling her tongue across the slit. The desperate whiny moans spilling from Kirk's lips were enough to spur her on further. He sounded so sweet coming undone beneath her, she wanted to bask in it forever. She traced her tongue along the underside, working from his balls up and back down again. His nails scraped against her skin.

“Y/N, fuck can I.” He groaned, his body curling up as she took all of him in again in one swift movement. His hands clutched at the side of her head as he jerked forward. “F-fuck so good.” He rasped out. “Can I come in your mouth?” He asked sweetly, and how could she deny it?

Her response was to quicken her movements. The car filled with the wet sounds of her swallowing around him and the occasional gag as he hit the back of her throat. She could feel him shaking beneath her, words escaping him as he was left panting. He twitched in her mouth and she pulled back, opening her mouth as he came undone. Hot thick ropes of his release coated her tongue, some of it missing her mouth and spreading across her cheeks.

Kirk looked down at her with wide eyes, pupils blown and fucked out as he watched himself finish across her face. “F-fuck.” He heaved out. His hands held her head steady as the last of his cum dribbled across her lips. His cock twitched gently as she let go of it. Her mouth closed as she swallowed. The warmth and saltiness of it had her shuddering lightly. Her hands came up to wipe across the skin where he had spilled out, gathering it on her fingers before bringing it back down to her lips. She wiped her hand clean as she smiled up at him.

“I hope that was okay?” She asked him, tucking his softening dick back into the constraints of his underwear. “I’m not really one for casual sex.” She mumbled as she crawled beside him onto the seat, her knees were screaming at her for the awkward position she had been in.

Nodding, Kirk pulled her into another kiss, softer this time, filled with an appreciative tenderness. “Really fucking good, god thank you.” He sighed against her, tasting himself on her tongue he moaned. “You’re something else Y/N.” His fingers rubbed across her cheek slowly, pressing their foreheads together as he looked deep into her twinkling eyes. “Let me take you home now.”

Kirk pulled into his driveway. Making his way to open the door for Y/N once more. He held her hand tightly as they crossed the lawn to her front door. It was only a couple feet away but the gesture of him walking her to her door had her heart fluttering. “We're going to hang out more right?” She asked hopefully as she spun her body to face him, her hand hovering above the door knob.

“Of course, you didn’t think this was a one time deal did you?” He asked her with a smile and shake of his head. “I’m not a dick.” He teased her as he leaned down to kiss her softly. “Go to bed.” He ushered her inside. The last thing she saw before locking the door was his grinning face. When she settled into bed that night she felt warm, content, and safe.

It was all ripped away from her the next morning as she settled at the kitchen table. The static of the radio filled the room. “Another body was found just last night, outside The Exchange, a local metal bar downtown.” the reporter's voice snapped Y/N from her tired haze. “A young woman was found disemboweled and partially decapitated in the alley beside the bar, likely happening during the show that occurred there last night, if any members of the community have any information please step forward.”

The color drained from Y/N’s face, her skin clammy as she dropped the spoon in her hand to the table. Her eyes were unfocused. Outside the bar, the alleyway, last night. The impending sense of doom she had felt, the strong smell of iron and the brief sight of something red. Her stomach lurched and she gagged. “Y/N? Oh god isn’t that where you went last night?” Her mother asked in a panic, her hands coming to rub her back soothingly as she dry heaved at the thought.

“It is.”

#metallica #metallica fanfiction #metallica/reader #kirk hammett #kirk hammett x reader #kirk hammett/reader

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