#i have things I'm looking forward to and I'm supposed to b having fun but it's hard when. There's that looming in the back of your head.

[ame-to-ame]

:|

[kinkyrafe]

Of Light Punishments and Cruel B******

Kinktober, October 20

THIS WORK IS 18+ ! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Summary:

The one where Rafe needs to be punished for calling domme!reader a cruel bitch.

Warnings: dom/sub dynamics, domme!reader, sub!rafe, very explicit

taglist: @yagirlwrites @audzzz @valyrianflower @aariahnaa

_

“You know we’re having a punishment session today?” you ask, your voice soft but laced with authority.

Rafe smirks, his usual cockiness present at the beginning of a scene. “I was hoping you’d forget.”

You narrow your eyes, teasing yet firm. “Tsk, I never forget. And even if I did, I’d hope you’d be man enough to remind me.”

He shrugs, still smirking, but you can see it’s just an act. “Sure,” he says, though you both know he’d never remind you willingly. You roll your eyes at his false bravado.

“Get fully undressed and kneel on the bed,” you order, your tone leaving no room for argument.

“Yes, ma’am.” The smirk lingers, but you know it won’t last long.

Good thing his cockiness always fades about five minutes into it.

“Anything you want to say before we start? Anything I need to know?”

He hesitates for a moment, looking everywhere but at you. Then he looks up, shortly before his gaze wanders off again. Then he admits, “I need you to make me obey today. My head’s all over the place.”

You nod, understanding completely. Submission doesn’t come easy to Rafe, but that only makes breaking him down so much more rewarding for you.

“Hands out,” you command, fastening cuffs around his wrists. You secure them behind his back for now, savoring the change in his body language as the restraints start to take effect.

“Kneel at the end of the bed and bend over until your head touches the mattress,” you instruct. 

He complies, his body tense as you fasten a spreader bar between his knees and cuff his ankles, tying them securely to the bed to keep him wide open. You untie his wrists from behind his back, guiding his arms forward in the direction of the headboard before restraining them there.

“I want your face and chest on the mattress at all times. Arch your back more. I want that ass up.” You watch as he shifts, lifting his hips higher, displaying himself perfectly for you.

“There you go.”

You step back, admiring the sight of him. His body is positioned just the way you like—completely exposed, vulnerable, and utterly at your mercy.

“How does this position feel?” you ask.

“Humbling,” he says with a laugh.

You chuckle. “Good.”

Your hand moves to caress the soft skin of his ass, feeling the warmth already building under your touch. “Remember, today isn’t necessarily about pleasure. It’s a punishment, a reminder of your place. But your safe words are still in play. I’ll check in at yellow, and stop at red. Understood?”

“Yes, mistress.” Before you can continue, though, he rasps out, “Can I ask something before we start?”

You halt your movements immediately, stepping forward so that he can see you as he tilts his head to the side. “Anything, Rafe,” you say seriously.

“I know this is supposed to be a punishment, but I need it to stay light, alright? You can't get too mean with me—I—” He gives you a small, reassuring smile. “Otherwise I can’t deal with it.”

“Yeah, I know, I'm very aware of your hard limits, babe, don’t worry, okay?” You say softly, “And if it ever gets too much, you can always call yellow, or even red. You should still enjoy it. Always. Never do anything that you don’t enjoy, please.”

He swallows thickly. “Yeah, I know. I won’t,” he says quietly, “I trust you, I really do, I just needed to check, I think.” 

You lean down and kiss his temple. “We only do this for fun, okay?” You whisper against his skin, “Just for fun, nothing else.”

He closes his eyes and nods. You kiss him again and let your fingers run through his hair, knowing how much he loves it. It always helps him relax.

Then you take a step back.

“What are your safe words again?” You demand to know just to make sure. You ask at least once at the beginning of every scene—on the one hand, to make sure that he never ever forgets but on the other, because this simple question in itself helps to get him into sub mode. You don’t need to make this harder on him than it already is.

“Red to stop. Yellow for check-ins,” he answers.

“When are you allowed to call your safe words?”

“Any time,” he answers immediately, his voice steady again.

“Good boy,” you purr, running your fingers along the sensitive crease where his ass meets his thighs. His body reacts instantly—he shivers, and his cock twitches, already starting to leak. He is usually hard to second you start to order him around but this is surprising, even for him.

You decide not to acknowledge it. You want to see how long he manages to stay hard during a spanking. 

Without another word, you begin with your bare hands. The first smack echoes through the room as your palm connects with his ass, catching him off guard. He jolts forward with a hiss, but he pushes his hips back almost immediately, knowing better than to break position. “Color?” you ask, just to make sure.

“Very green.” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Good boy,” you praise, your hand coming down again, harder this time. As you smack his ass, you grin and say, “I know you secretly love this. Don’t pretend, Rafe, your hard cock tells me all I need to know." He lets out a soft chuckle despite the sting. 

“I never pretended otherwise.” You can hear the smirk in his voice without seeing it.

The sound of skin on skin fills the air as you settle into a rhythm, alternating between both cheeks, each smack drawing a sharp intake of breath from Rafe. 

“Remember to breathe, babe,” you remind him softly but you don’t stop.

You take your time, spanking him steadily. You enjoy the way his skin heats beneath your hand, turning a soft pink. His breathing quickens, and you notice his muscles tense as he fights to stay still. 

“You’re taking this so well,” you say, your voice smooth, laced with a hint of admiration. You bring your hand down again, harder, feeling the satisfying sting in your palm as his skin reddens further. “Concentrate on your breath, though, come on.”

Once his ass is glowing, you pause, rubbing your palms over the warmed flesh, kneading it to get the blood flowing even more. He’s panting now, his cock rock hard and twitching, but you don’t touch it—yet.

“I’m going to spank you a lot today, Rafe,” you warn him, leaning down, your front flash to his back, so your breath brushes against his ear. “And you need to breathe through it.”

He nods, though his breath is already coming in shallow gasps. 

“Let’s maybe wait another second until you’ve calmed down a bit,” you murmur, rubbing your palms over his whole body now, soothing him, praising him over and over again. “You’re doing so good, babe.”

“It’s easier when I have to count out loud,” he says after a while and chuckles a little bit, “As weird as that sounds.”

“It doesn’t sound weird, I know it’s easier that way,” you explain, “But I want you to concentrate on the feeling, not on the hit, if that makes sense.”

He laughs a tortured laugh. “That is not nice,” he says.

“You’re the one who called me a cruel bitch,” you say, chuckling yourself.

He groans at the reminder. “I swear, I never learn.”

“Yeah,” you say lightly and shrug, “Maybe today helps you learn a bit.”

Then you walk over to the dresser, selecting a flogger next. Its tails are soft but with enough weight to leave a sting. You know, he loves the flogger. You trail it over his ass first, letting him feel the anticipation building before the first strike. He tenses under your touch.

Then, without warning, you snap the flogger against his skin. He groans, hips jerking forward, but he stays in position.

“Good boy,” you murmur, bringing the flogger down again, harder this time. The tails leave red marks across his already warmed skin, and he gasps, his breath hitching with each strike. “Breathe, Rafe!” You remind him once again and let your free hand run gently over his reddened skin. “You're doing so well, babe. You know I'd never really hurt you.” He breathes out, relaxing a little, obviously reassured by your touch and the tenderness in your voice. “And you know, I’d always stop if you wanted me to.”

“Yeah,” he whispers back, “I know.”

Good.

You alternate between light and heavy strokes, letting the flogger caress his body one moment, then crack against his ass the next. His whole body shakes with the effort of staying still, his breath coming in ragged pants.

“You’re trembling. Is it from fear, or from wanting more?”

“Both,” he manages to choke out, his voice strained. You notice that he is shy about it.

“Both?” you ask, your eyes widening in awe. “You’re trembling from both fear and desire?”

This boy really is something else.

“Breathe in!” You say, and it’s an order now, your voice low and soothing. He inhales sharply, trying to control himself. “Breath out.” He exhales. “Longer exhales, Rafe, come on! Good boy.”

After several more strokes, you switch to a riding crop. You drag the leather tip down his spine, then tap it lightly against his ass, teasing him before the real punishment begins.

The first strike of the crop makes him cry out, the sound muffled by the mattress. You watch as his body trembles under the sting, but he doesn’t move out of position. His back arches even more, presenting himself to you, desperate to obey.

“Stay still,” you command, bringing the crop down again. This time, you aim lower, letting it snap against the sensitive crease between his ass and thighs. His whole body jolts, and a pained moan escapes him.

So he can adjust to the sensation and ease into the pain, you cup his balls gently, massaging them in contrast to the impact. “There you go, doesn’t that feel better?” You tease, watching his breathing grow heavier. “See, I can be nice too, so much more than a cruel bitch.”

Again, he groans at the reminder of what he called you only last week. He really put this on himself.

You hit him again and again, alternating between the roundness of his ass and the tender skin of his thighs, watching as he struggles to keep his composure. His breath hitches, but he doesn’t break. You’re impressed by his endurance. 

You pause, leaning in to kiss the back of his neck softly. “Still green, babe?” You murmur, your lips brushing his skin. He nods, and you smile, your hand running down his back in a soothing gesture.

After several more strikes, his ass is a deep, glowing red, his skin marked with lines from the crop and the flogger. “Breathe, Rafe,” you remind him again, watching the way his muscles tense under the strain.

His breath comes in ragged pants, his body trembling, and you know he’s close to his limit.

This is when you finally decide to stop, standing back to admire your work. His ass is a vivid red, marked with welts from the flogger, and the crop. He’s panting, his whole body shaking, but he hasn’t used his safe word.

You let your fingers trail over the raised welts, admiring the marks you’ve left. And much to your surprise, throughout all of this, his cock is still throbbing more than ever, leaking more and more precum onto the sheets.

“Good boy,” you praise, your voice dripping with approval. 

You reach down and brush your knuckles lightly over his neglected cock, teasing him. He moans, his hips jerking forward at the faint touch.

“You’ve taken your punishment so well,” you murmur, stroking him gently. “You deserve a little reward.”

You pull a magic wand from the dresser, placing it lightly against his balls. He flinches at the vibration, his body quivering. He is so incredibly turned on right now, despite or maybe even because of the pain. You take a mental note to take special care of him afterwards to not let him drop.

“Y/N,” he gasps, “I’m gonna come—I’m gonna—”

“Hips back,” you command. “And ask permission first.”

“May I please come?” he whines, his desperation palpable.

“No,” you whisper. “You’ll feel so much better afterwards if I make you hold out a bit longer.”

He groans in frustration, but his body obeys, trembling with the effort of holding back.

“You’re doing so incredibly well, babe,” you say softly, your voice filled with awe. His whole body shudders, and you know you’ve taken him exactly how you both needed it.

[lucky-lucky-duck]

Forget You, Forget-Me-Not

A continuation based on a reply to my Vaga Snapshot post that i'm writing between cram sessions. The semester ends in 2 days and I'm dying, but it's fine. c: Everything is fine. c: I'm gonna start on the matchup in a couple days when my load lightens, this is just a late night creative outlet for stress c':

Leo Kurosagi x Vagastrom Ghoul Reader (2nd person pov and gender neutral)

Leo goes too far in an argument, and I'll fill this out tomorrow. For now, it's sad. Reader nearly gives up on braking the curse causing the people around them to slowly forget they exist. Fuck I'm tired

Morning edit - I fixed a couple of spelling mistakes, but the description made me laugh so it stays. I'm still fucking tired.

"I'm passing the phone to a No-Name NPC who is so unremarkable that the faculty evaluators actually forgot they existed."

You're ignoring him. It's been four days, and you've barely said a word to anyone, but everyone knows that Leo is somehow the culprit.

It doesn't really matter, you think with dull amusement. Sho and Alan had both been out at the time; the only witnesses to your humiliation were you, Leo, and the general students. Leo's too busy trying to bait you into argument to gloat about his win to the others, and you aren't about to tell them yourself.

The general students are a non-issue, too. Most of them struggle to remember your name most days, they're not about to suddenly start remembering gossip about you.

The thing is, you've had fights with Leo before. Hell, fighting with Leo has something of a hobby to you once you started sharing a living space with him. There's just something about him that brings out the worst in you. The vicious snake-like part, that coils up with anticipation and prepares to strike when you see Leo enter the room. You used to think of it as something that you both secretly look forward to, once the vitriol died down and your metaphorical fight-to-the-death turned into elementary-school bullying.

He's never brought up your curse like that before. It's been tit-for-tat, both of you giving just as good as you get. It's supposed to be fun.

You squash the pang of longing in your chest with snarled anger, only to be drenched in an icy kind of apathy. There are lines both of you choose not to cross these days (you were under that impression at the time, at least.), and the waning acknowledgment of your existence had definitely been one of them. Christ, you didn't exactly pour salt onto Leo's obvious abandonment wounds during these fights, did you?

"What did Leo do to you?" Sho's voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" Your voice scrapes lifelessly as you meet his eyes with a small, strained grin.

"Really? Then what, you've been moping around the dorms the past few days because you enjoy the smell of sweat and motor oil?"

"You know me, can't get enough of the ol' sugar and spice." The attempted banner falls flat as you make to slip around him and head for your dorm at the end of the hall, only to be held in place with a single strong hand on your wrist. "You ever tried shake weights?"

"Stop," he shuts down your distraction. "You know he's a rat bastard, right? You can't take what he says personally. We're going to find a way to break the curse."

So, Leo told Sho what happened after all, has he?

Sho's words slow to a stop when he notices the dead-eyes and scowl that have overtaken your forceful nonchalance from earlier.

"I wasn't lying, I'm not angry at Leo for what he said to me," Apart from the fact that you kind of are. "He wasn't exactly wrong."

"Shut up already!" You don't turn your head to look at Leo as he appears in the corridor. Figures he would listen in on a private conversation. It's probably him who sent Sho to find you in the first place. Bastards.

In the end, the choice is made for you, and a new set of hands grip your shoulders, yanking you face-to-face with the person you wanted to see least.

"Are you telling me I've been wasting my time on someone this fucking pathetic?" The words would hurt more if the expression on Leo's face were less desperate. If anyone looks pathetic here, it's him. "Of course. You would be willing to sit back and watch as you sink into irrelevance, wouldn't you? If that's what you want, fine." It's funny how adept you've become at interpreting Leo's mannerisms after all of the fighting.

For all of the accusations and insults, the only thing you see in front of you is a hissing kitty cat desperately trying to make amends in the only way it knows how. It's a shit apology, but... Leo isn't the type to put on this type of fit unless he feels threatened and cornered, and, as far as you are aware, the only threat being posed at the moment is you walking away from him.

Your bar sure has sunk low these days, yikes.

"That would probably hurt more if you weren't still gripping my shoulders like we're in a steamy novel. Do you have fantasies of pinning me down often?" You're promptly shoved away and insulted once more, free to turn back and walk back toward your dorm without sparing either boy behind you a glance.

As you prepare yourself for bed, you notice the ache in your chest loosening just enough to let you breath deeply. If just for tonight, you'll fall asleep free from the fear that tomorrow will be the day you finally wake up as a stranger.

[rustfoxes]

Disjointed DAtVG feelings/opinions

I've played the game for a bit, I'm not too far in yet, and honestly? I hope it gets better. Spoilers & venting below as you might guess.

Everything seems to be tell, don't show. There's very, VERY little trust in the player. Characters happen upon a ruined village? "The village is ruined! There's no one here!" Yes, we can see that. Character looks upset? Text pops up on screen to tell you that IN FACT!! Character is upset. Couldn't have guessed.

Everything is explained out loud immediately, except the arguably actually important things. If I remember correctly, there's no mention of the 10 year (?) timeskip from DAI, everyone just now knows everything about elven magic and the Fade and the Veil EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER. None of that is explained! New players are expected to just know, which in some games works, but when you throw characters into a magical forest and say it's Arlathan forest, how tf are they supposed to know what Arlathan is.

Why is Varric a brunette all of a sudden

Characterisation of returning characters is fucking wild. Fun, jokey Harding? Massive chip on her shoulder and real aggressive for some reason. Soft-spoken and measured Solas? Yelling, again, for some damn reason. Where is his iambic pentameter? And he hates blood magic all of a sudden?? Did the writers play the earlier games at all? Solas SPECIFICALLY says in DAI that blood magic has no morality to it and is merely a tool.

The game is linear to the extent that I cannot for the life of me see the point of the game asking you to wrap up unfinished business before moving forward. What unfinished business? You've locked us into a small room with 0 exits and 1 chest. There is no business.

So far there's been zero time for any of the story to breathe. There are no story beats, because the drum machine that is the pacing just keeps hammering on. The gravity of the situation has no time to set in for anyone. THE ACTUAL GODS OF MYTH HAVE BEEN BUST OUT OF GOD-JAIL. THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. "Yeah, well, people would've died if Solas hadn't been stopped from tearing down the Veil." And this is preferable???? What the actual fuck. DAI Solas wanted to rebuild and to safe-guard his people. TWO of the people he wanted to PROTECT EVERYONE FROM are now out. But oh man, that Solas, he would've hurt folks. You think the wondertwins won't? Jesus fucking Christ.

The gameplay more or less just completely scraps character classes. Playing a mage rn and for some damn reason she has separate ranged attacks. What the actual fuck. What is the point of making people choose a class if a damn mage has to stand next to enemies to attack?

So far doesn't feel like an RPG at all. Starts in media res which is fine, but your character is already established as a cool hero and an important figure. Why? Why weren't we along for that ride?

Character movement is janky af, DAI was much smoother 10 damn years ago. Hopefully they'll somehow manage to fix it.

Either they needed better actors or a much better voice director, because holy shit is the dialogue awkward and halting and just... no.

Writers have clearly had shoes far too large to fill. Dialogue wants to be funny and witty and clever. It is not. Specially not with the phoned in voice acting.

Where have my Welsh/Irish elves gone? Wtf happened there? Also why wasn't there anyone around to tell the actors how to pronounce the elvhen words??

Why the fuck is the rogue our healer.

All quests so far have been walking from A to B, collecting some coins along the path, and then fighting 5 or 10 enemies. No variation at all.

Idk man, I really hope the game will find its legs as it goes on, but so far? Massively underwhelming and honestly quite disappointing. Absolutely does not feel like DA. People critisised DA2 for being rushed and DAI for a whole host of shit, but at least I felt like I was playing a Dragon Age game.

[seedsofagony]

Hayride (KnY ♡ Tengen)

Cherrytober Day 26: Interrupted // Thigh Riding

Series: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Characters: Uzui Tengen

Word Count: 567

Summary: modern au, x reader (f), date night, mentions of horror elements, lap sitting, public indecency I guess, thigh riding

Notes: Hayride 👏 thigh ride 👏 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Disclaimer: Underage, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked. For everyone 18+, FUB free or filter my unique tag for this event: #sweets🍒24

You grit your teeth, clutching the haybale, as the wagon manages to hit yet another pothole. It's supposed to be a haunted hayride, but it's more like a haunting hayride—you're going to have a hard time sitting for the rest of the night.

Not that you regret going. The whole thing is pretty hokey—bad costumes and unconvincing makeup—but you don't mind. For every jump scare, you get to clutch Tengen's arm. Or at least, you had been until you were forced to keep your body from rattling apart.

"Kind of rough, isn't it?" Tengen grimaces.

Completely ignoring the actor waving the chainsaw and the terrified-slash-delighted screams of the other riders, you return his pained smile. "Very."

"Want to sit on my lap?"

You clutch imaginary pearls in mock scandal. "You mean, in front of all these people?"

Tengen glances around the wagon—couples clinging to each other, a few others who are equally unimpressed and just making out. He smiles wryly, "I don't think anyone will notice."

"Or care," you agree.

Easing off the bale, you brush the hay off your behind before depositing yourself on Tengen's lap. At least, that was the plan until the wagon hit yet another bump, sending you flying into his arms with a surprised yelp.

"Upsy-daisy," Tengen grins as he pulls you onto his thigh. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you huff. "Who's driving this thing anyway?"

Tengen chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist. Still feeling a little ruffled, you sink back against his chest and try to enjoy the rest of the ride. A horde of stiff-legged zombies shambles after the wagon, waving plastic disembodied limbs. One of them is gnawing on a pink brain that looks more like a macabre dog toy—bruised ego (and butt) forgotten, you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

You also can't help but notice that you have the best seat in the house. The rocking of the wagon that was so irritating moments before has an unexpected benefit—your hips sway with the movement, grinding your clit against Tengen's firm, well-muscled thigh.

A flush rises in your cheeks and your eyes dart around your surroundings. Tiki lights blaze on either side of the dirt path, casting flickering shadows in the darkness of the night. The man on the tractor pulling the wagon couldn't care less about what's going on behind him, and the other riders are completely engrossed in the scenes—zombies giving way to pumpkin-headed scarecrow monsters—or each other. No one is paying attention to you.

Playing it cool, you shift ever so slightly. Warmth blooms between your legs, the vibration of the wagon wheels over the gravel humming through Tengen's leg and against your clit. You shift again as if to reposition yourself, rubbing your quickly swelling bud against him. His hands tighten on your waist slightly, steadying you. It crosses your mind then that maybe he wouldn't appreciate you trying to get off in public, but his lips brush your ear.

"Having fun?" he purrs. He pushes your hips forward and pulls you back ever so slightly, dragging you over his thigh.

You laugh nervously at having been found out and echo your earlier question—this time, a little more earnest, "What, in front of all these people?"

Tengen pushes and pulls you again, camouflaged by the dancing shadows and the diversion of B-movie monsters. "I don't think anyone will notice."

[emblemxeno]

Cindered Shadows Thoughts

Btw if you don't wanna see thoughts on my 3H playthrough block this tag #playing fe3h

-Finished it in exactly 8 hours, at least 2 of which could've been an email /s

-It is truly a microcosm of my foundational issues with 3H as a whole, besides two things

-One is that exploration isn't as tedious because Abyss isn't as big as the monastery, but I guess that isn't really a point in its favor since that's the whole point lol

-The second is I feel like Byleth's dialogue and text selections with the characters is a bit better. There's less instances of , what I describe as "characters extrapolating how Byleth feels in 1-2 text boxes before actually responding to what they said", which I swear is a cause for why the main game reads as if it's 10% longer than it's supposed to be.

-IMO unique map objectives don't save map design that's pretty uninteresting at the end of the day.

The first map's layout is cool! Until it gets reused in chapter 4, where it's only saving grace is a new objective utilizing prior knowledge established in chapter 1. Clever, but still a reuse in a game that infamously spams repeat maps. And outside of Chapters 2 (a slog where you defeat enemies in waves which isn't fun in FE) and 7 (a cramped hall where you have to brace against a monster boss), the other maps are reused from the base game, even chapter 3 is a slightly modified sealed forest.

-Combat itself is so slow, I'm really just debating turning off animations in general when tackling the main game. Not only do the animations take forever, but they don't look interesting, are surrounded by washed out textures and models, and-my personal biggest grievance-have absolutely no momentum nor weight behind them. The Tellius games, from what I've seen, yeah the animations take decades, but from a visual and sound design point, fighting feels significant. 3H also being sandwiched between Echoes (the gorgeous culmination of handheld 3D Fire Emblem presentation after half a decade) and Engage (which to me set a new, high bar standard for 3D FE presentation going forward) is an extremely unfortunate situation and I feel really sorry for it.

-Music still hits though, Shackled Wolves never gets old

-Another thing that 3H does that this DLC reminds me of is the amount of -Stand Around- cutscenes there are. It confused me that Engage gets the most heat for this, when this game does it more, due to more drawn out dialogue, simpler camera angles, stiffer models with fewer animations, and an absolutely diabolical background setup. For a game with an expository selling point, it repeatedly falls short at being engaging in a visual sense, with its scenes always being saved by the phenomenal voice acting. Almost always, at least. The scenes where the Wolves are getting their blood drained while they just stand there is so jarring and bad, it's nearly funny, when it's obviously not supposed to be given the lines, their delivery, and the accompanying music.

-The story from A to B is sweet I guess, but given that the devs said the Cindered Shadows version of events is basically non-canon to what happens in the main game sours me on it. Like, yeah it's cool that the Wolves can technically be capable enough to do it offscreen on their own, but then what's the incentive then for me to recruit them beyond the player's pre-established care? There's no narrative payoff in the grand scheme :/

-Also the whole plot is "what if Yuri, Rhea and somewhat Claude/Linhardt do everything and also these other goobers are here" which became really funny, because after a while even the lines had characters deliberating the sheer amount of coincidences and melodrama that was occurring. 3H style writing shoved into an 8 hour timeframe is accelerated, exhausting nonsense.

-Sothis not being in the plot is fine, because even though it doesn't make sense why she wouldn't comment, it's not like there's anything of value she would contribute beyond her usual schtick of "bratty banter, where are my memories, i sleep now".

Not having Jeralt though? Absolutely ridiculous. I don't like Jeralt as a character (he's my idea of pretty face and that's it), but there's no convincing me why he couldn't be here but Alois can. Love Alois! But he was a device used to have the Knights on standby and nothing more, which Jeralt could've done and it would've let him have a proper impact on the ordeal with Aelfric.

Speaking of which, revisiting this DLC had me thinking... wow this love of Aelfric is veering very close to cult-like, and it's cut short after chapter 5 because we don't go back to abyss once that map's done. I'm left with wondering how the Abyss denizens would feel after knowing that their caretaker was Like That™️, which is a completely foreign feeling to me when discussing 3H's narrative since the game normally never lets it be remotely unclear how the characters or the player should feel about anything ever. So... props for that for making me flex that part of my brain! You did it Fodlan, the creepy custodian plotline that was left dangling was great fridge horror material.

-The constant suspicion throwing and animosity towards Rhea and the church is tiring as usual, and also sometimes downright baseless. Like, at one point it's said that orphans are among those who are relegated to Abyss or otherwise ignored on the surface which is flat out not fucking true, Rhea literally takes in former bandit kids and Remire orphans, what are we doing here.

-Balthus has a cringe "fight the system line" meanwhile he's an irresponsible jackass pushing 30; Constance is written like a joke; Hapi's writing is a joke; Yuri is as incomprehensibly competent and storied as ever and I love that cuz it's nonsense.

-Overall, not godawful terrible, but nothing in it that's worth coming back to in my eyes.

[throneofrayllum]

Dinostar Week Day 1; Yellow

Darius across from Brooklynn on the couch as she filed his nails. "You keep your nails so short there's almost nothing to file!" Brooklynn said laughing. She continued, "I think yours are shorter than Kenji's, and his are microscopic because of his climbing." Brooklynn's face went slightly downcast at her mention of Kenji, he was still a sensitive subject. Darius grabbed Brooklynn's hands, halting her filing. "Hey, B, you ok?" Brooklynn looked up and plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah! yeah I'm good." Darius leaned forward, "Brooklynn. I know you better than that." She rolled her eyes, "I'm sad, ok? But I'll be fine. We weren't meant to be, I wasn't a good partner." Brooklynn sighed. "Can I be honest for a second?" Darius nodded, squeezing her hands tighter. "I love Kenji, I really do, I always will, and I was devastated when we first broke up but.." Darius bent his head down so he could catch her eye since Brooklynn was staring at her lap. "But...what?" Darius asked. Brooklynn looked up again. "Looking back, I feel like maybe I we weren't good for each other. I can't make him happy and give him what he deserves, he can't support my work. We fought a lot. I don't think we would've made it anyways, I think we would have broken up sooner or later for some other reason if he hadn't dumped me on that mountain." Brooklynn began to laugh as she recalled her break up with Kenji. "Oh my god, Darius, climbing down that thing after breaking up was hands down the most awkward thing I've ever experienced!" Darius started laughing with her. When their laughter died down, Brooklynn said, "Thanks for letting me vent, I know it's probably not fun hearing your brothers ex rant about her problems." Darius snorted, "Brooklynn, your not "my brothers ex", your my best friend." He wouldn't admit that he wishes she was more than that, he could barely admit it to himself. "Aw, Dino nerd." Brooklynn said as she ruffled his hair. Darius had forgotten all about the manicure he was supposed to be getting until Brooklynn pulled out a CVS bag. "Pick your color", she said while haphazardly waving the bag around. Darius grabbed the bag from her. "Ok-B, your gonna knock the lamp out with that thing", he said. Brooklynn stuck her tongue out. After looking through the contents of the bag, Darius picked out a yellow polish, definitely not because it was Brooklynn's favorite color. "Yay! I was hoping you'd pick yellow", Brooklynn said with a soft smile. As she painted his nails, Darius couldn't help but close his eyes. The feel of her hands on his made everything seem unimportant compared to this, to her. "Y'know, I love yellow on you." Brooklynn said, causing him to look at her. "Yeah?" Darius asked. Brooklynn nodded, "Yeah. It's such a you color, whenever I see a sunflower or a school bus or something I think of you." Darius laughed, "I'm sorry, a school bus?" Brooklynn smacked his arm. "Ok, maybe not a school bus, but you know what I mean." Darius couldn't help but feel like her favorite color reminding her of him meant something. No, he had to stop thinking like that. She would never see him that way. "Ok, done!" Darius examined her work. "Pretty." He said. Brooklynn tossed her short hair, "Of course it is, I did it."

[amazingmsme]

Looking For This?

AN: Aaahh, it’s that time of year again! Tickletober is finally here, so why not get cozy & read some great fics? To kick things off I have a really cute Fjord/Jester fic for y’all to enjoy! Can’t wait to see what this month has in store!

Fjord was going to go crazy. He was currently searching his cabin frantically, turning the room upside down in search of one accessory. A very important accessory. Without it, his whole look was ruined. A captain's hat needed a large feather.

It was regal, it was a status symbol, and it just tied the outfit together. Without it, he'd look fucking stupid.

He didn't even know how he'd lost it! It had been pinned to the hat, and last he had checked it had still been there. They were supposed to be leaving soon, and he refused to leave without it. He was Captain Tusktooth, and he needed to look the part.

Jester watched from the doorway as Fjord grumbled to himself, looking through drawers and pulling back the covers on the bed. She smirked to herself, hiding the source of his frustration behind her back.

"Where the hell did it go?" he finally cried in frustration.

"Looking for this?" she asked in a lilting voice, pulling the feather out from behind her back. Fjord jumped at the sound of her voice and turned around, relief washing over his voice.

"Jester, you're my hero! I've been looking for that everywhere, thank you!" he exclaimed, holding his hand out expectantly. His relieved smile faded when Jester just stood there with a wide, innocent smile, twirling the feather between her fingers. "Um, are you gonna give that back now?" he asked, eyeing her hands nervously.

She giggled and cocked her head to the side. "And why would I do that?" she asked sweetly. She rocked back and forth in her feet, tail lashing behind her mischievously.

"B-because I need it. Because it's mine-"

"Finders keepers though! I just found it sticking off this goofy hat, and thought, "hey, wouldn't it be better if I just took it?" So I did!"

"Goofy? Your mother gave me that hat!"

"Oh relax Fjord, I'm just teasing! I think you look very handsome in your hat," he complimented, mostly to keep him at ease.

"So can I have it back?" he pressed, motioning with two fingers for her to return it. She bit her lip and gripped it closer.

"In a minute."

"Jester-"

"I just wanna play with it first!" she whined, jutting her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. Fjord furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Play with-" it suddenly dawned on him and his eyes flew wide and he cut himself off mid-sentence, "No! Jester, don't! We're supposed to meet Caleb and Essek soon, we really don't have time-"

"There's always time for a bit of fun. Don't you think?" she cocked her head and batted her lashes, the picture of fake innocence.

"No. I'm serious, please give it back," he requested yet again, trying not to let his nerves seep into his voice. But she could read him like a book, and knew that he was getting worked up. It was too perfect not to take full advantage of.

"But you're so tense Fjord! You need to loosen up before we go to dinner," he insisted, taking a step forward. He took a step back.

"Absolutely not! Stay away from me!" he threatened, pointing at her accusingly.

"What? I thought you wanted it back. I'm just returning it to you," she was doing a poor job of holding back her grin. He shook his head.

"Mm-mm, I'm not falling for it."

"Falling for what?"

"Jester!"

"Fjord!"

He leaned back, griping fistfuls of hair and groaning in amused frustration. He wore a flustered smile, watching her from the corner of his eye.

"We have to get going, they'll be waiting on us.”

"They can get a table! It won't kill them to wait a few minutes."

Fjord whined, realizing there really was no way out of this.

"You're lucky you're so cute. Alright fine. Five minutes, but no more," he finally caved.

"And no less," she purred, waltzing over to him proudly now that she got her way. She began slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Fjord opened his mouth to quip back, but a breathy chuckle escaped as she drug the feather down his chest. He twitched away, but she followed the movement, caressing the skin with soft plumes. He snorted when she moved down towards his ribs, throwing his head back when she sawed the feather in the spaces between the bones.

"Jehehes- plehehease!"

"Please what, Fjord? I'm not a mind reader, you know," he teased, sweeping the feather higher towards his armpit. He clamped his arm down with a loud bark of laughter, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Oh come ohon! D-don't behehe mehean!" he snickered as the feather traced his belly.

"Aw, don't you worry, I am being so nice right now."

"Thahahat's debahatable!" She gasped at his words, fluttering the feather a little faster. He shrieked before falling into a fit of giggles. He blushed and latched onto her wrists, but didn't bother pushing away.

He offered her five minutes of fun, and he was a man of his word.

And, well, maybe he was enjoying himself... just a little.

[imposterpuppet]

My theory brain is turning as I look through some of the code in Revelations, so leaving this here

[i]Meditative. Not the right emotional reaction, but it makes sense. There was a game they let you play back at the Farm. A pile of slender sticks dropped in a heap. The goal was to pull them out, one by one, without disturbing the rest. Training precision. Focus. [i]You were so very good at that. [i]You patiently wait your turn as the other pair of hands reaches in to slide a stick out from the pile on the floor. No Ortega now, the dream has shifted. The room is blank. The Farm? Perhaps. The other hand tries to pull out a stick, going for a high-points one deep down, too ambitious, the pile topples and you laugh. [i]"My turn now," you say, your hands are whole and clever and not bandaged. Not like the others. Scuffed and broken. Familiar. You look up to meet ${phis} eyes. $!{puppet_eyes}. The mouth opens and it won't stop— *page_break I Scream.

---

One text. Then another. Asking where you were. If you were okay. And then that final one, that made you turn off the power to your phone for good. The one that didn't feel like @{epilogue04 Pelayo|${hench_name}} had written it, none of the concern or the little tidbits of life that had been in the others. Three words.    [b]I need you.[/b]

---

  $!{swear}. $!{swear}.       You're pulled forward towards ${villain_name}, who reaches out for you and—       â€”freezes?

---

*if knowsimpostorbody         Why won't the imposter who stole your body use their telepathic powers against her? You don't know, but you have to assume that they can't. Perhaps they are too busy puppeting you.

---

*elseif ivgoodtag     "Though I suppose it's not that secret. I don't know why ${phe} 's that paranoid, but I never question a paying customer unless I get a bad feeling about the job."

---

"${name} ${surname}," you say firmly. "But you knew that already."     "That's…" There's a twitch to ${puppet_name}'s face. "That's impossible." $!{phe} reaches up to touch ${phis} face. "You're lying."

---

"I'm…" ${phe} drifts off, a nervous rabbit looking at the door as if ${phe}'s expecting it to open. When it doesn't, ${phe} turns back to you. "It makes no sense," ${phe} hisses, and that is when the door opens. "What is going on here?" Dr. Mortum is standing in the doorway, clothes rumpled as if ${mhe} fell asleep at ${mhis} desk again, eyes bleary and narrow. "${puppet_name}?" "I'm not—" ${phe} snaps, hand going to ${phis} pocket.

---

 [i]A ${puppet_gender} tied to a chair. Familiar. ${puppet_name}. A woman at her wedding, veil in tatters - Bad angle - Hands reaching for your face, grasping, hungry - Fingers fumbling with unfamiliar buttons - There's the dark and the fall - Panic of a beating heart - Running - Running -        *if gate = 0         [i]Locked doors lining a corridor, things banging from the other side.       *else         [i]Slamming doors along a corridor, some open, some still closed.

----

 *if knowsimpostorbody             Huh. Interesting. It looks like whoever stole your body isn't very adept at using your particular talents. Good to know.

I'm just wondering...if the imposter is someone Sidestep knew in the past? Could they somehow be from the farm? Either way, the "too ambitious" part is interesting. The thought that the imposter could struggle in Sidestep's body as much as Sidestep could being in the puppet's (for different reasons, maybe) is fun to think about.

[coffeebanana]

WIP Reblog Game

Ooooh this one looks fun. Thanks for the tag @kasienda!

I always feel like I see the same games going around and for the most part I've played them before and I feel like I have nothing new to say, so it's exciting to find something new!

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends!

WIP TITLES

everything i know (brings me back to us) - post-s5, post-adrinette break up ladrien fic

This Fire Won't Sleep Through The Night - alyanette princess/knight AU

Entangled - established ladynoir, post-hawkmoth angst, chat's ghosting lb. NSFW

Probably Not The Best Idea - ladrien roommates fic

Say Something - ladrien to prpr hurt/comfort in the aftermath of a sentireveal and gabe-is-hawkmoth reveal

I know I haven't updated Ladrien Roommates in almost a year and Say Something has been nearly as long but aksfbkdsjb I swear they're still on the list. Quite frankly it might take me a while to get back to Say Something though, because I'm just...very stuck. And I keep rethinking the next few chapters.

Also, Happier--my Adrigaminette WIP--gets an honourable mention in the priority list because I SWEAR I'm going to get back to it at some point 😭

UPCOMING

Okay I'm super excited about the arc that the next chapter (which with a little luck may be posted today...) is going to set into motion. Especially because I don't think anyone quite knows where precisely I'm going with it...hehehe

Hm. I have one heart-to-heart scene I have planned for a few chapters from now where Ladybug gets to know Alya a little better and maybe starts to fall for her a little...

Looking forward to the next chapter!! Like, all of it! The thing is, I feel like I need a good chunk of time to really FOCUS on writing it. And I'm still navigating balancing writing time with my work schedule.

There's a little arc that will pop up in the chapter after next where Ladybug has trouble sleeping...and naturally there's no better way to fix that than for Adrien to invite her into his bed 👀

There is a conversation between Adrien and Kagami in the next chapter that was one of the reasons the length of this fic got out of hand 😂

Okay, I think I can find 10 new people to tag... @celestialtitania, @ck2k18, @saiikavon, @mostmagical, @monpetitchattriste, @heartfulselkie, @liiinerle, @hueynomure, @rosie-b, and @wehadabondingmoment

[I'm just now noticing--because apparently when i copied the title over i did NOT read it--this says WIP REBLOG game...which maybe means I was supposed to reblog the original post akjfbskjd. but uh. too late now I'm about to post this 😂]

[satancopilotsmytardis]

bdsm classification au? kind of like a/b/o dynamics but instead of being born as one of those dynamics, everyone is born as a type of dom, sub, or neutral/switch that is revealed when they are old enough?

so like some people are born as caretakers, littles, owners, pets, or other d/s dynamics (and then ofc there are some people who are a switch)

sub dabi joining up with the league to fight for sub rights alongside their cannon ideals type beat :p

So there are some immediate problems I'm seeing with this AU as set up in this ask. First of which is: I don't do traditional ABO because I think the fantasy sexism that is applied to Omegas is very unpleasant and I avoid it in my writing at all costs. Applying that sexism to a BSDM AU is extremely concerning as one of the biggest red flags in BDSM is if a Dom thinks they're better than a Sub outside of negotiated play. On that principle alone, this AU will be an extreme departure from this ask.

Additionally, I don't think having switches in this world is a good idea. If we're going to set this to a similar framework as the Omegaverse, then it would make more sense for the 'Beta' stand-in to be people who are vanilla/don't have a dom/sub designation. By doing this we can better parallel the fact that Betas do not offer the benefits of an Alpha to an Omega, or the benefits of an Omega to an Alpha, making the need to have them categorized separately more engaging.

And finally, while breaking down these categories further into play styles is interesting, it also removes the variety that many participants engage in while playing. I've met very, very few people who want to only engage in one flavor of BDSM, and I think that ignores the fun of playing in this space!

That all being said I have an AU with what I find to be a workable concept loosely based on this ask:

Dabi is a sub, Shigaraki is a dom of course. Compress, Magne, and Toga (though her designation is somewhat up in the air due to her age, she has all the markers of being a young dom) are doms, Twice and Spinner have no designations. Given this setup, Dabi is kind of spoiled for choice with easy access to doms who can keep him stable by ensuring that he doesn't go too long without being dominated, either sexually or not. It's pretty common to find him, after a long day of work where he is in a leadership position, kneeling at Magne, Compress, or Shig's feet, or doing domestic servitude tasks to keep his mind and mood stable. He's not sleeping with any of them and told them he never would, he's not interested in becoming a collared sub (not after he saw what that did to his mother who wasn't even capable of fighting back against her dom)

Things are going pretty well on that front until Shigaraki starts to notice that Dabi's on a verge of a drop after Kamino. With everything that's happened, he needs stability and security more than he thinks he does and he's not giving himself time to find it. So Shig tells him they're going on a mission, and actually brings him to a place he found that is frequented by subs and doms looking to sate their needs as anonymously as possible. Dabi does find someone who can give him what he needs to fight his drop, and goes back to find Shigaraki, only to actually find him in the middle of a session himself where he's doming a sub in a way that makes Dabi feel like he needs it again even though he just had it.

After that, he is a little more chatty with Shig, and he asks if he's ever collared a sub before and finds out that Shigaraki was told he never should since that would give someone else power over him as well-- because collaring is supposed a mutual symbol of a dynamic and a partnership, not a way to force a sub's submission-- which is news to Dabi. Things continue to move forward and they end up with the PLF.

About halfway through his treatments, Dabi asks Shig if he's found another place like the club they'd been going to to sate their instincts, knowing that the others have just been making their way through the grunts. Shig says he hasn't but he can find somewhere safe for Dabi as he won't have a designation anymore once he goes into the tank. Dabi is horrified by this and asks why Shig would give that up when he loves being a dom, and Shig tells him that this is the path he's been told he has to take to gain more power and that, at least if he does this, he will never be vulnerable and losing his mind because he can't get to a sub if he needs them.

Dabi is pretty upset about all of this and is finally forced to come to terms with the fact that he really, really wants Duster to dom him completely, that he's been fighting it for no good reason when Shigaraki has proved a hundred times over that he won't treat him like Enji did Rei. He begs to be allowed to submit to him and they end up scening . It's perfect. Shigaraki stops his treatments, and a few months later, when the League is next on the battlefield, Dabi is seen wearing a gorgeous permanent collar.

[jurassicsickfics]

Story Request Ideas

As all my followers know, I'm always open and happy to recieve fic requests in asks. So I decided it might be fun to make a list of some prompts to choose from. Of course, you can ask about a custom prompt if you already had something in mind but you can choose from this as well if anything rings your bell! Enjoy! And I look forward to writing your ideas!

I've made all the points different to make your requests easier and quicker to phrase for you! Example:

2, B, and 🤢 with Caretaker: [Name] and Sickie: [Name]

Dialog prompts (Sickie):

1: "Hold my hair back...please..."

2: "I really don't feel good..."

3: "Please help me..."

4: "Ugh...help! I can't get it up!"

5: "I need a belly rub..."

6: "Look away...I'm gonna puke..."

7: "I don't mean to sound pathetic, but, please hold me..."

8: "Ow! It hurts so bad...*cries*"

9: "I'm so scared I might puke..."

10: "I am NOT crying!" *is obviously crying*

11: "I need a tissue right now or I'm gonna blow my nose on your shirt!"

12: "What?! No! I can't lose my voice!"

Dialog Prompts (Caretaker):

A: "Yuck, that's gross...you better be glad I love you."

B: "Oh sweetheart, come here. "

C: "You're not gonna throw up, are you?"

D: "You're gonna be ok. I'll make sure of that."

E: "Bless you, baby..."

F: "I told you not to eat/drink that..."

G: "Did you just gag?"

H: "Maybe you better go to the bathroom, huh?"

I: "Ok ok...let's get you home."

J: "I swear, I'm not mad. Why would I be mad over something you can't help?"

K: "Don't worry about it. I can wash it."

L: "I thought you were supposed to be tough, hm? What happened?"

Situation Prompts:

🤢: Sickie turning green and caretaker immediately offering their hands for them to puke into

🥵: cuddling in a cool shower/bath to lower sickie's fever

🤮: Sickie puking down caretaker's back while hugging/cuddling, and because they can't see it, it takes caretaker a few seconds to realize that that burp, was NOT just a burp

😭: Sickie getting super emotional and crying over every little thing

🤧: Sickie blowing their nose into caretaker's shirt

😰: Sickie with a nervous stomach

🤕: Sickie puking from pain

🫣: Squeamish caretaker trying desperately not to act grossed out

💔: Broken hearted sickie getting sick or sicker from emotional pain

🥹: Caretaker secretly finding sickie super cute when they're like this

🥶: Sickie having terrible fever chills and caretaker trying desperately to warm them up

😣: Sickie deciding or being forced to go to school/work anyway, and since caretaker is a coworker/classmate, they help them throughout the day

And last but not least, characters I write for!

All Jurassic Park or Jurassic World characters and the following Halloween characters: Laurie Strode, Annie Brackett, Lynda Van Der Klok, Allyson Nelson, Karen Nelson, Judith Myers, Molly Cartwell, John Tate, Will Brennan, Bob Simms, and Paul Freedman.

Have fun with this, ya'll!

[skaruresonic]

Hey, I know it's not the same thing, but I'm proud of you. I followed your studies on Tumblr, and I'm very happy that not only you graduated another year, but you illustrated a whole book. I'm sorry that your aunt didn't show you the love and pride that you deserve, but here we admire you for undertaking this challenge :)

Nyà·węʔ. It gets really lonely sometimes and I know it might be hard showing support for a language that essentially doesn’t exist anywhere else, but I really do appreciate your support.

It's such a mind screw because she seems to support me, but then she just... does and says stuff that implies resentment, maybe, or jealousy. Like when I showed her a cartoony picture I made and all she had to say was "the nose is too round." Huh? You couldn't say anything nice, or like... realize the nose is supposed to be round because it's a cartoon?

For real, I'm not looking forward to showing her that book because she'll probably say similar stuff. Except this one has the additional thorny layer of inter-tribal politics: fun.

The gist of it is our clan, Sand Turtle, is said not to exist - and I mean this stuff causes old men to scream and rant in Longhouse, where you're supposed to approach such matters with an open mind.

Even though originally I depicted a Sand Turtle in the book, the director made me change it to a regular snapping turtle instead because, in her words, "our culture has nothing to do with sea turtles." Essentially saying, once more, my clan doesn't exist.

I had no choice in the matter. Not looking forward to explaining that one to my aunt. >.>

This is what I mean by no support irl. The language program is always stressing the importance of a support system, and it just...depressed me, hearing classmates mention how their families aided them along the way. Meanwhile, my family thinks I'm a sellout or something.

It's sad because sometimes strangers in our community will treat me better than they do. One woman said my mother and grandmother would be proud, while another complimented my pronunciation. I just wish my aunt had decided to stay, but ig she had to go. But still, she could have stuck around a little.

I also heard my cousin seemed angry. That's another kettle of fish. She says the program director stole her mother's job, and she called it a "slap in the face" that we weren't using her mother's work in our curriculum, as if A.) something that happened when I was four lies within my control, and B.) she couldn't just ask. When I offered to look at her mother's notes, she declined. Apparently she also recalls the time I said her pronunciation of a certain word was "wrong," because my instructor then gently chided me.

Fuck me, man, my instructor sympathizes more with my language struggles and he knows how often I eat shit. We all received dictionaries as gifts, and in mine he wrote

Wá��kkę· hà·neʔ tyúʔręʔ θaʔnuryáhnę· nę́·kwer, účʔaht íhskah eθatúręhęk, saʔniʔθhę̀·nyęhs stí·yu·.

I've seen that you have sometimes struggled too, but it doesn't put you away (you don't let it defeat you), you prevail (master; defeat) it instead.

And I started crying because even such a little bit of encouragement goes a long way. It is difficult. There is never going to be a point where it's not difficult. It was just nice to hear "your efforts are seen." It can be easy to forget why you started, and maintaining language learning is especially emotionally-charged for us because many of us do share similar stories of language loss through boarding schools. I recognize that my aunt and cousin are having what are essentially trauma reactions, but that doesn't mean they have to take it out on me.

This program is important to me because it’s a lifeline to my culture, especially as more of our elders pass away. Beforehand, I was near-suicidal because I mistakenly believed I had nothing to offer the community, no future, no prospects. As a mixed Native, I can't have kids, which is a big thing here. But I see now that blood doesn't matter; it's the heart that pumps it which matters.

We have two words for heart: awęryáhsę, the muscle, and haʔ kęʔ kę́·theʔ, where I reside.

My great-grandmother had the language beaten out of her. I think about how much had been taken from us in the span of only two generations and how much work it'll take to reclaim what was lost. Because she was too traumatized to speak, she never passed it down, and my mom was only able to teach me a handful of words as a kid. And now look---full sentences! Not without struggle, ofc, but sentences!

Even if I never have kids of my own to teach the language to, even if the outside world never offers the chance to speak it, it is a part of me. This language is where the core of me resides. It feels so much like the kind of home we should have had when I hear it spoken by our most fluent speaker that it makes me cry.

So, in that sense, it's fitting how the last word my mom ever taught me was elderberry, which has the word for "heart" in it. Čawęryahskáhręʔ.

<3

[salchat]

Do you have an Ao3 account? I love your art, and you mentioned you were working on a fic in one of your posts and I would love to read some!!

Yes, I do! I'm easy to find because I'm Salchat there too! But here's a link...

The fic I'm working on at the moment is based (roughly) on Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca, and my gosh, I'm having so much fun with it! It's my first venture into the omegaverse because I really wanted that dynamic and I'm loving it!

It's also the first time I've rough-drafted and written scenes out of order - I usually hone and refine as I go. But this is sprawling in all directions. There's a lot written - maybe 70,000 words? - but still a lot to write. I can’t post any yet because details keep changing. Although, I could give you a snippet, couldn’t I?

Here's part of chapter 1. I've hijacked Mrs Butters and had to make her rather unpleasant. Dean is her hired omega companion (not in a sexy way) and they're staying at a hotel vaguely in the South of France.

A gust of warm, savoury air and a swell of noise at his back announced the opening of the kitchen door. Dean hunched forward so he didn’t get a tray dumped on his head. But the waiter was one of the more agile. He swerved around Dean, hung a right and brought the tray down in a sweeping arc, perfectly timed to present its load to the occupant of the next table - who looked up at his meal and smiled.

And okay, yeah, it was a nice-looking hamburger. Normally it would have had Dean transfixed, salivating with envy. But it wasn’t the juicy patties and shiny, domed bun that brought Dean’s mind, his heart, his every-fucking-thing to a juddering halt.

Dean hadn’t seen the ocean until he was fifteen. Before that it had been one dusty town after another, Dad dragging him and Sammy around like unwanted baggage. But when a job had finally taken them to the coast, it’d been like all the heat and grime was washed away by that fresh, salty air. And the colours in that huge ocean had taken his breath away.

It was the same now. The drab, grey despair that made up Dean’s life was suddenly gone, and his world was full of ocean blue depths in the eyes of this strange alpha – strange but gorgeous, from his eyes to the soft bow of his lips to the commanding strength of his nose.

Dean was heartily glad of his over-powdered cheeks. Fuck, what was he thinking, blushing over some rich alpha who wouldn’t look at Dean once, let alone twice? He really needed to get a hold of himself.

But the way that guy was looking at the burger was like he hadn’t eaten in years. The shadows beneath his cheek bones looked sharper than they should, and beneath his eyes too - little round ridges of dark cast by the bright chandeliers above them. This alpha needed burgers and plenty of them. Dean’s skin itched with the need to cook and cosset and caress, and Jesus fucking Christ, he was really losing it here, wasn’t he? Really giving into his inner lapdog who just needed an alpha to boss him around to be happy.

The waiter flickered across Dean’s vision again and Mr Novak was left alone to enjoy his hamburger. He picked up his knife and fork and raised them. Which was a thing you did, Dean supposed, in a high-class dining room. You ate a burger with a knife and fork. But then the alpha's forehead crinkled into the suggestion of a frown. He shook his head. His rounded lips flattened into a tiny smile. He put down his silverware. And he picked up the burger in both hands.

“Close your mouth, Dean.” Mrs B’s spoon scraped her bowl, chink, chink, chink, even though there was hardly any of the creamy sauce left.

Dean closed his mouth. Then his eyes returned to the table over her shoulder. Mr Novak hadn’t taken a bite. He was still holding his hamburger in two hands, staring at it like he’d found the Holy Grail.

Then his eyes flicked up and fastened onto Dean’s. Dean should look down. He should drop his eyes like the shitty little omega-nothing that he was. Instead he stared into the ocean.

And Mr Castiel Novak smiled at him. Just a little smile. Barely there before it was gone, and then he was chowing down on his meal, all his attention on his food, his eyes closing as he chewed his first mouthful, then opening again to get a load of the burger cross-section he’d created. Did it have pickle, Dean wondered? Mayo, cheese, the works? Would he bite down through the whole lot, getting all the flavours in at once, in between those perfect pink lips? And was Dean salivating over the man or the burger?

He was looking at Dean again. Looking and smiling and nodding as if they were having an actual conversation about how great hamburgers were in general and this one in particular.

“Dean!”

A sharp pain on his knuckles brought Dean’s attention snapping back to his employer.

“Dean! Bridge! The Spanish drawing room!”

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am.” Bridge. Of course it was time for bridge. His world closed in with an almost audible snap. Bridge was played at eight o’clock sharp every night and Dean and Mrs B were there, every single night; she to play and gossip and drink sherry, he to sit in a corner and try not to exist too loudly until he was needed.

He pushed his chair back, clumsily, and was sworn at by a passing waiter.

“Dean!”

Jeez. He wasn’t the one who’d sworn, was he?

“Yes, ma’am.” He rounded the table and pulled out his employer’s chair and collected up her purse and her wrap. And he didn’t even glance over his shoulder to the most perfect alpha he’d ever seen, as he followed her to another evening of excruciating dullness in his excruciatingly dull life.

[fuckentoastybitch]

My VN List!

I'm listing them according to ones I've played and ones I plan to play (as well as brief notes about either my opinion on the game or why I'm interested in them, formatted like this.)

This is for my own personal collection tbh, I just need to put them all in one place.

A. Have played:

The Arcana. Played since I was 16, all time favourite and Julian is my husband. This game shaped my interest for fantasy settings and magic. BUT! As a long time fan I must warn new players that trying to get the full experience for this game is difficult because of its coin system. The only reason I manage to keep playing for years is because I literally take a year's worth of breaks in between routes and logged in every. Single. Day. to collect coins and keys. It's literally been 6 years and I still haven't 100% the game yet cause I simply didn't have that kind of energy and time to do that anymore, but I still love the characters very deeply till now.

Blooming Panic. Second all time fave. Fell for Quest first, fell for Toasty hardest, for some reason is obsessed with xyx. I've revolved my entire personality around BP since 2023.

ERROR 143. Fun! Micah is technically not my type but I really like the general aesthetic and humor of the game. Iirc there are still more content to come to the game so I am very excitedly and patiently waiting.

3 Seasons. This was short and sweet. I think what I liked the most about this was the unique character designs, especially Rye and Briar's. I heard the dev's are working on more content on the current LI's + Briar's route, I'm really excited for those.

Our Life: Beginning & Always. Our life was INCREDIBLE, to put it simply. The entire game and story was very well thought out that it even made me reflect on my own life at each phase along the game. It gave me a really strong sense of nostalgia and reminded me of my own feelings during every change I had experienced. I actually wanted to make a whole post about OLBA but I got busy and already forgot everything I wanted to say, ehe. I still have to play the DLC and get the remaining locked CGs though.

Assignment Due: Project Blue. THIS GAME IS ADORABLE. I already made a blog post about what I like about it and I will again emphasis on how this game felt like it was made specifically for me. I love Asher so much aaaaa. I heard rei, the dev is working on another game for Eden, I'm looking forward for that, too.

Coffee Talk. Coffee talk was so so good! I need to play more non-romance VNs too cause this was so enjoyable in terms of its storytelling, setting, gameplay and design. Every character had such a nice story that tied up nicely, even the MC who's supposed to be just an observer throughout the entire thing. Also the cozy vibes and music is a 10/10 would recommend.

A Date with Death. This one's so cute too! I played only one route last year and just picked it up again recently. I have only one route left to finish and the new DLC!. Anyways yes the Grim Reaper is very babygirl I can attest to it.

seekL. THIS IS SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD. If you didn't see the one week phase where I basically went insanely obsessed with seekL, you missed out. Hacker man save me.. save me.. hackerman..

B. Want to play:

Lost in Limbo. Really pretty art and interesting concept. The theme seems very fantasy/magic centric which really pulls me in. But this game is still a WIP iirc

When The Night Comes. Technically I'm currently playing this one, but only the intro and hadn't touched the game in months cause I've been busy. Again, the fantasy setting caught my interest aaand I just met Ezra but I already love him. Will continue this as soon as I can!

Infinite Blue. I've played the demo! Very mysmes reminiscent lol. The game looked very cute so far and Brooklyn reminded me that I'll never run away from my old man liker allegations. It's already out so I def gotta play it soon.

Coffee Talk Episode 2. Don't really need an explanation for this one except that the new characters I've seen so far looks really cool.

Tavern Talk. D&D inspired Coffee Talk! If it's not obvious already, I LOVE fantasy settings so even though I've never played D&D, it is right up my alley and I wish I could play it someday. I've been eyeing the production of this game for a while so I'm really excited that it's finally out!

Obscura. This one looks really REALLY cool but I haven't actually read into what it's actually about. The art alone looks good enough to get my attention. Really curious about it, I hope I'll play it soon.

Intertwine. Just from looking at the 2023 Otome Jam entries overall I thought this one looked most visually appealing to me. I love the color scheme, and the aesthetic reminds of the string of fate myth (that probably is the theme)

DATA BR<3ACH. I'm usually not a fan of cyberpunk setting but this one seemed pretty intriguing to me visually!

Innerlog. By Jenny V Pham! I enjoyed Error 143 so I have no doubt I'll enjoy this one too.

Andromeda Six. My impression of this one is "space D&D" lol. I can't believe I haven't played this one yet.

TOUCHSTARVED. I can NOT believe only the demo is out cause the quality looks like it should've been a long existing popular franchise. One thing I'm a little hesitant about playing this game is because it's goth themed and in case you haven't noticed, a lot of the media I like have a softer, more pastel aesthetic. lol. But that's a personal preference and yet I definitely need to play it sometime soon.

Cupid's Chatroom. There's really not much to say. Pink aesthetic? Mysterious chatsim that appeared out of nowhere? My cup of tea 100%

Na Daoine Maithe. I've played the demo of this one and it is sooo interesting. I like myths but I've never really read into Gaelic ones. The art is so pretty and the story so far is very intriguing. I can't wait for the full game.

Swiped!: Double Shots of Love. FINALLY AN INDIE VN WITH OLDER MALE LOVE INTERESTS DFKJFDSJKD I played the demo, it was really really cute! The professor LI was made to call me out lol

Wake Me Up If You Need Me. A game made by rice! Someone who I've seen around in the fandom and who's really talented at making songs and audios. I had no idea they made a game but I just found it recently and I have to play it.

Keyframes. It looks really good but I'm interested mostly cause I found out Charlatean (Toasty's VA) is in this kjsdhfgkjd

Rekindle. I follow the lovely artist that's creating it and the DEMO IS OUT!. I saw one (1) art of Jules and he is EXACTLY my type so I'm already looking forward to this game.

Our Life: Now & Forever. Baxter's OL game! I already loved Cove's so I'm really really interested in this version of the game. Plus, I actually really like the autumn aesthetic compared to Cove's beachy style.

Hummingbird's Crown. Has a very interesting premise: a time loop mystery. I'm definitely interested in this one for its story potential rather than the romance, I love me a good mystery.

Aaand that's it. Thankfully "( – ⌓ – )

There's actually a few more that I added in my twitter bookmarks but those are relatively new and I haven't decided if I really want to play them yet. I'm following the devs though so that interest might grow over time. These lists are long enough as they are already, haha.

[m4gp13]

Can we talk about how badly Frank was done dirty??? There are lots of reasons for this but I'm specifically going to look at his whole thing with Leo because that part hits closer to home. When I was reading HOO, I always looked forward to Frank's chapters because I related to him so much more than the other characters entirely because of his experience as the victim of Leo's bullying. When he made a mention that he was just waiting for Leo to make a mention about his short-lived gorilla transformation? That part hit hard.

I kept waiting for a chapter or even a little dialogue exchange where Frank or someone else calls Leo out for his shitty behaviour and makes him think critically about his actions. He tells his jokes to protect himself but doesn't consider the harm they cause to others. And he was especially mean to Frank for no reason. You could argue that he had an internalised rivalry with him because of the weird Hazel love triangle but while we know that Frank likes her (he and Hazel were dating when they met Leo) from what I remember we don't really get much from Leo about his feelings towards Hazel. We know he cares about her but we never really get a sense that he wants to get with her and we certainly don't see him thinking about Hazel the same way he was thinking about Thalia or Khione.

It just feels like he was being shitty to Frank mostly out of pettiness at best and just for the fun of it at worst. He never missed an opportunity to have a dig at him and the worst part is that FRANK KNOWS THIS. After the gorilla incident, he was bracing himself for whatever joke Leo would make about it! But then Frank magically turns buff and it stops being an issue? What the fuck? Frank's Magical Girl transformation into a hot guy is just so, so lazy on Rick's part because A) it makes the only plus-sized person in the main cast a conventionally attractive muscle jock, B) it acts as an easy way to bypass Frank's character development and C) it gives Leo an easy out so he never has to reckon with his gross bullying because Frank turns hot and suddenly Leo's okay with respecting him now? What's that supposed to imply? That Leo only bullied him because he was fat and now that he isn't Leo doesn't find it funny to make fun of him? Or that now he's too scared of his muscles to take the piss?

As someone who's been bullied, particularly for being the chubby kid, I found it so disgusting. I know Leo's a bit of a fan favourite but I just hated him the whole way through HOO because he was just so shitty and never had to change his views. He just shut up one day and it was all fine and dandy.

And it's not like there weren't opportunities to fix this. Leo and Frank's talk in the underwater cave could have been good for this. It's nice that got to bond over their mutual dead mothers, lack of homes and fear of fires but it would have been nice if during that talk Frank confronted Leo about his bullying and made him actually digest what his humorous defence mechanism is doing to the people around him. Telling jokes to protect yourself is fine but not when it actively harms another person. Also, Hazel was dating Frank and was very emotionally invested in Leo. She could see what was going on between them and, to my recollection, never spoke with either of them about it. She and Frank never had a talk about how uncomfortable Frank is with Leo and how much his digs hurt him. She never brought it up to Leo to ask why he treats Frank like that or ask him to talk. It's like she's in her own personal bubble completely separate from them.

Then there's Percy, who, in SoN, we're told has become very good friends with Frank. And then we never see that friendship at all in the next three books. Percy already doesn't like Leo and they have that little confrontation in the gladiator arena when they went to get Nike. It would have been really great if Leo got to express his anger at Percy for leaving Calypso, assuming he's objectively the Good Guy in the situation, but then is confronted by Percy for his treatment of Frank (Percy's supposed friend) and Leo needs to reorient himself in where he stands in relation to Percy and the others. He needs to get off his high horse and recognise the harm he has caused to others, just like Percy, instead of wallowing in his own paradoxical self-pity and superiority complex.