#i have the Concepts down just not the actual physical application Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[campbyler]

hi! i just read your post about struggling with the manual car (which is completely reasonable lol)

i happen to be a person who can indeed drive a manual! (my dad is still teaching me so i am no expert but i have driven our car many times and watched my dad drive it since i was wayyy younger)

and you can completely ignore this ask but here's what i have learnt in my time driving!

a manual has three pedals: clutch, break, accelerate, in that order from left to right (where i am from, atleast)

there are six gears, 1 through 5 and reverse.

clutch breaks the engine from the wheelers so you can shift gears and stop the car without damaging the system and the other two are obviously, to stop the car and accelerate the car

to start, you need to turn the key while PRESSING CLUTCH and NEUTRAL GEAR so the car doesn't run off lmao

then you shift the gear to 1 and VERY SLOWLY release the clutch. if you do it too fast, the engine will turn off and you gotta start over (i struggled with this a lot lol)

the car will start out at a very slow speed and you can try driving and stopping the car

to stop, start pressing the clutch and SLOWLY pressing on the breaks. make sure that by the time the car has stopped, the clutch is floored. you can also floor the clutch then slowly apply breaks

when you have the hang of it, you can try gearing up and down

to gear up, maintain a speed of (gear number + 1) times 10 kmh. so to gear up from first to second you need a speed of 20 kmh

to shift gear, floor the clutch and use the stick to change gear and IMMEDIATELY release clutch, no need to release slowly here like you had to while starting up. same to gear down

and voíla! you now know how to, in theory, drive a manual! tada!

also, for the fic, just keep in mind that the speed of the car when someone else is driving and when you are driving is COMPLETELY different

my dad could easily drive in 4th gear where he takes me to train and i would feel nothing, but for me, 2nd gear is still pretty fast when i'm driving!

these are the basics of driving but the driving STYLE can vary vastly.

hope this helps ily!!

anon this was genuinely so helpful i am kissing you on the mouth

[anthroamazed]

tips for stem majors in math and science courses (spoonie + neurodivergent friendly)

hi y’all! my nameis lila and i’m a 28 year old physics and anthropology major who’s about 2 years through college (in the US)! as we’re coming up on the start of the fall ‘23 college semester, i thought i might share some really solid hacks for fellow STEM students taking science and/or math courses that i’ve basically built my college academic career on. and! these study tips are spoonie and adhd friendly! as a matter of fact, a lot of these are tips/methods that specifically work for me as a neurodivergent spoonie (i have pretty severe adhd, as well as POTS and ME/CFS), but that i think non-disabled/non-spoonie and/or neurotypical students could also benefit from using! so with out any further ado, here are my 7 tried and true study hacks for college math and science classes…

1) discover your learning style and tailor your studying towards leveraging it.

you’ve probably heard of visual, audio, and kinesthetic learning styles, but did you now there’s actually way more learning styles than just those three? i’m personally a “social learner,” meaning i learn best through discussion and socialization with 1+ other people to interact with. this could look like teaching other classmates concepts and methods that we’ve learned or discussing ideas with classmates and/or professors until i fully understand the concepts at play and how they connect and can reflect them in performing analysis and application, etc. honestly, figuring out my learning style was hands down one of the most helpful things i’ve done in college. it has allowed me to choose professors who i will mesh better with in terms of how they teach, as well as to adapt materials and methods to my style of learning in order to master them quicker and more effectively.

2) rewrite your notes after lecture, for the love of god.

this tip actually comes from my high school IB Math HL teacher, who told me to do this when i originally left high school for college. even if you think you’ve mastered the basics of the topic covered during the lecture, rewriting those notes after lecture helps really hammer in the knowledge that you’ve already established and also helps to get the wheels turning on pieces of information you might have less of a grasp on. try tp set aside at least 30 - 40 minutes after class to just rewrite your notes and try to really digest the information.

3) body doubling is one of the most beneficial things ever to be invented even if you’re not adhd, and i WILL die on that hill, thank you very much.

“body doubling” or “having an accountabilibuddy” are interchangeable terms in the adhd community that mean you have one or more consistent study buddy/buddies who you do all the homework and/or studying with in person on a regular basis, even if you’re just working next to each other in total silence. this does a couple of things. first off, it forces homework/assignments/studying to become a concrete social obligation you need to regularly show up for, rather than a nebulous obligation based on an invisible deadline. second off, it gives you 1+ partners to work out your problems concerning course topics with. third off, it allows you to build a network of peers where you feel comfortable helping each other with course material (this is especially great because it’s likely you and your classmates have different strengths regarding course content). tbh, body doubling is the other method that i, personally, have found most useful in college and i highly recommend trying it, even if you don’t have adhd.

4) teach others/your classmates the analysis and application methods you’ve learned, even if those methods aren’t 100% solidified for you (trust me on this).

the goal of stem courses is never memorization, but rather being able to understand a topic well enough to analyze a similar situation and apply the what you’ve learned creatively. this is where teaching others comes in. in order to teach others a concept and its related analysis and application well, you have to have at least a fraction of a decent understanding of these things yourself, and, further, often time in teaching these things you also learn to grasp the concepts/aanalysis/applications even better than you did before with each new teaching session. basically: teaching others is a creative way of also teaching yourself. you get the benefits of repetition, of thinking about a concept/technique/analysis and application in a new way, and of getting to apply the concept/technique/analysis and applicatioin to a new scenario each time. plus, you’ll typically make friends quickly in the process! there’s really no downside to this tip imo ;-)

5) utilize your college’s tutoring center/program(s), even when you don’t think you need to.

usually colleges have either set up a general “tutoring center,” on campus where you can find tutors for all different kinds of topics and courses available during regular hours for walk-in sessions and/or appointments free of charge or departments will hold regular weekly (or twice weekly) free on-campus tutoring sessions for specific courses. regardless of which of these options your college has, i highly recommend attending at least one tutoring session/appointment (ideally with the same tutor if/when you eventually find one you click with) every single week, even when you don’t feel like you’re struggling with the topic(s) covered in that week’s lecture. this will help you review topics and techniques covered in lecture, deepen your understanding of them, and, if nothing else, it’s an excuse to get homework out of the way while having someone else there who can help you if/when you get stuck. attending at least one session weekly also helps you get into a habit and routine of keeping up with your assignments, so you’re not left scrambling at the last minute before they’re due.

6) if you have accommodations, request access to record lectures. if you do not have accommodations, ask your professor if you are allowed to record lectures. IF YOU RECORD LECTURES, DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW THEM!

okay, so first up for my fellow spoonies and neurodivergent peeps: when you apply for/renew your accommodations, make sure that “recordinng lectures” is on your MOA (memorandum of accommodations), because so long as it is, your professors legally cannot deny you permission to record lectures without risk of themself and the college being sued for an ADA violation. also, make friends with a classmate and ask them to record lectures and send them to you if/when you are absent (let the professor know that you’ve asked this classmate to record and send you the lecture if you are absent)

now, if you aren’t disabled, a spoonie, and/or neurodivergent, you aren’t guaranteed permission to record lectures. however. ask the professor if you can have their permission to audio record lectures (be sure to also let them know that such a recording would be for personal use only and that you don’t plan on distributing the recordings). i’ve found that many professors don’t mind you having an audio recording.

even if you aren’t an audible learner it can be really useful to have these recordings to review at a later point. oftentimes reviewing lecture recordings can be useful if you glazed over and missed a section of the lecture and/or if you can’t remember what a professor taught during a section of a lecture.

7) last but not least, on a related note, if you have accommodations, also request access to your professor’s lecture notes. if you don’t have accommodations, check if your professor posts their lecture notes for students to use.

having your professor’s notes can be extremely useful for review purposes, but they can also help you understand where your professor is going with course content and what they want to stress as important.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Semantic Error | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 2

Based off of Semantic Error (bl) by J Soori Summary: While y/n starts to discuss her vision for the game she finds out that JK was someone she had hoped she would never have to deal with again. Giving up on her game for now she focuses on work and school but Jungkook has other plans for her this semester. Pairing: Techie inexperienced fem!reader x Artist fuck boy Jungkook Word count: 2.4k~ Warnings: Explicit language (a little bit). Idk that's pretty much it for this chapter. A/N: This is heavily based off of the original bl (boy love) and it covers chapters (episodes) 2-12. I've switched around the timeline and got rid of a few scenes here and there so they're not exactly alike but I would like to stick close to the original story so let me know what you think! P.s. If you don't mind spoilers I would highly suggest reading the original story. I read it on the app Manta with the english adaptation being done by Angy and you can also find the Kdrama on Viki :) Read from the beginning

Sitting down with JK and explaining my vision for the project is becoming increasingly annoying, he picks out the flaws in the designs that Hana drew up as well as called my whole concept boring, basically making me want to just start ground ground zero at this point.

"Are you sure you'll be able to actually be able to create what I want? In terms of functionality and the coding behind it all on your own?" he asks, questioning my abilities.

"If you give me a chance I'm sure I'll be able to create a fully functioning 2D application" I say simply, knowing what I'm capable of. 

"You know there are other aspects that you have to think about besides the design factor of it all. Have you figured out how you're going to go about that or would you be needing my help as well?" he asks getting cocky, trying to belittle me.

"I am aware and it's your choice what you plan to help with. I just need a character and gaming environment design from you. I'm able to handle the rest if need be" I say plainly stating my intentions.

"Well if you want me then I'll work on it with you". We work out a rough layout of how this will all go and when I feel it's time to end the meeting I hand him my phone and ask him to put his number in so I will have a ways to contact him to set up future meetings. 

"Looks like you already have my number" he says and I tilt my head curiously, not sure how I would've found myself in a situation where I would need his number.

He calls himself from my phone so he has my contact as well and I see the name Motherfucker pop up on his screen. "Wait you're a girl?" he says clearly as confused as I am. JK = Jungkook, how did I not put that together?!??!?!

I snatch my phone out of his grasp and see the contact name I've assigned to his number and my heart drops seeing the name Freeloader 3 on the screen. Grabbing my bag I run out of that study room and don't stop until I've made it home. 

Closing the door behind me I pray I've somehow lost him and that he didn't chase after me to see which way I took to go home.

I'm a girl so there's no way that he could cause physical harm to me. Right? He seemed somewhat of an intimidating guy so I guess he could go either way. Guys like him seem like they could get away with murder if they wanted to.

I shiver as I feel all of my hairs standing on end praying that that somehow won't be my fate. 

That was a shit way to start off my summer but hopefully I won't have to bump into him ever again since I won't really have any reason to go to campus these days.

I'll just focus on working at the PC cafe and save up so I won't have to worry about working when classes are back in session.

~~~~~~~

My summer is uneventful just as I had hoped for and just when I thought that I had forgotten that disaster none other than Jungkook walks into the the cafe.

I keep my head down hoping he won't see me but as soon as I hear a lull in the conversation he was in I knew I was screwed.

I look up at him and see that he's clearly staring me down and as soon as he confirms it's me he rolls his eyes and scoffs before he makes his way over to one of the open PCs.

Why couldn't he have just turned around and gone somewhere else? There's another perfectly good cafe on the other side of town so why did he have to pick this one? 

Who am I kidding why would he go out of his way to go across town when all we had was a little argument and he's mad at me because he thinks I'm to blame for keeping him from graduating.

As soon as I finish restocking the snack bar I get a notification of a customer placing an order and I check the notification and see that low and behold it's from Jungkook.

After retrieving his food from the cook I make my way over to him and place his items down in front of him. He looks me up and down before opening his mouth to say something which I could only assume is utterly irrelevant to me.

"Hey we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot, do you think there's a chance that we could just start over? I could even introduce myself since I never really got a chance to do it in the first place. Hello my name is Jeon Jungkook and I'm a visual arts major" he says while holding out his hand as a peace offering. 

"And that matters to me why? I don't think we have any reason as to why we should be interacting anymore since I don't want to work with you anymore. It's best if we just forget it and remain as strangers" I say turning to go so I can get back to work.

He follows me over to the front desk where I unfortunately am forced to stay so I'm stuck having to listen to him until he goes away.

"I'm not looking for a fight I promise. I just want to start over. You seem like a pretty nice girl and I would love to get to know you better" he says flashing me a smile that I'm sure many girls have fallen for before but I don't find it the slightest bit charming. 

"Sounds like you should try to get a bit more creative with your pickup lines, I'm not interested" I say and look through the system begging for someone to give me something to do.

"I promise I just want to get to know you, no ulterior motive on my part, but if you wanted to go about things that way then I can't lie that I find you extremely attractive a-" 

"I suggest you go back to your seat unless you would like me to call management to get you permanently banned and file a restraining order for sexual harassment" I say taking care of some emails from our vendors for next week’s shipment, finally having found something productive to do.

"Okay I get it I'll back off, I didn't mean to offend you like that. For what it's worth, I really did want to be your friend" he says and goes back to his seat, finally providing me some peace and quiet.

~~~~~~

The first day back at school I fall back into my usual routine.

I always get up at a certain time so I have time to exercise and take a shower before class, I get my bike downstairs at 9:16 on the dot and I have my whole route calculated down to the second. I make sure to get to class half an hour early everyday so I don't have to worry about rushing and I have time to mentally prepare myself for the rest of the day.

Walking into the lecture hall for my Chinese class I find myself buffering at the sight of a bag on top of the usual seat I sit in. It's the perfect seat that provides me with the best view of the board and allows for next to no distractions. It's kept at a comfortable temperature and it gives me the best route out of the classroom when the lecture is over. 

Glaring down at the bag I'm temped to just move it but decide that I'll just wait until the owner comes back and ask them to switch seats.

I'm surprised that out of all the seats in this big lecture hall that they picked my exact seat.

I brush it off and go through the material we are going to cover today until I'm greeted with the mysterious owner of the bag that has caused me so much turmoil this morning.

Looking up to make eye contact with them I'm left with the sight of a smug looking smile from the bane of my existence, Jungkook. 

"What are you doing here?" I whisper since more students have started to make their way in. "I'm recruiting for my pyramid scheme. What does it look like I'm doing?" he says while taking a seat.

"Switch seats with me" I say standing up expecting him to do as I say. "No this is my seat" he says and starts to get out his class materials.

"Just switch seats with me" I demand starting to lose my temper, but before he's even able to mumble a response our professor comes in and asks us all to sit down, prohibiting me from trying to get him to give me my seat back. 

"Oh Mr. Jeon what a pleasant surprise, I thought I saw that you signed up to be my TA this semester. Class this is Jungkook, he lived in Beijing for a year so feel free to ask him a lot of questions. You'll also be turning in all of your assignments to him so if you have any questions please feel free to reach out to either of us. Right Mr. Jeon?" she asks to confirm.

"Yes I'm here to help" he announces to the class. "And I'll be right there to hold your hand the entire time y/n" he mumbles to me, using my name to address me for the first time. It some how sends a shiver through my spine and I can see from out of the corner of my eye that he's pleased with my response.

Why can't my body just cooperate with me just once? He's just a mildly attractive guy that's it, don't let his antics distract you.

~~~~~

After class ends I rush over to my next class and am greeted with yet another bag on my favorite seat.

He couldn't have gotten to this one before me as well right? Is he some kind of super villain that is hell bent on making my life miserable? Maybe it belongs to someone else and I'll actually be able to reason with them this time.

As I sit waiting for class to start I see a flash of red show up in my peripheral vision "Oh are you in this class too?" I hear him buzz right in my ear as he sits down next to me yet again. "Jungkook what are you doing here? This class isn't even close to what your major is. It's also one of the more advanced classes so I know that you're just here to annoy me" I grumble while taking my textbook out. 

"And how do you even know my class schedule?" I ask and widen my eyes as the sight of the notebook I thought I lost a few months ago.

"How did you get that" I ask while reaching for it, which he childishly moves out of my reach. "You left it at the library that one day that you ran away from me. I was going to try to stop you to tell you but by the time I stepped outside the door you were already gone. Was I really that scary?" he says mockingly.

"No, you were just unpredictable so I didn't feel comfortable being in a private room with you, that's all. Now give me my book back!" I demand, trying to reach for it again and as soon as I think I've got a chance at reaching it I hear the professor walk in. 

"Mr. Jeon is it?" he asks, unamused at the sight he's presented with.

"Yes sir" he says while both of us quickly take our seats. "If you plan on taking this class just for the purpose of flirting then I suggest you drop it, especially since it looks like this isn't required for your major" he says clearly already annoyed with the both of us already.

Thanks for getting me on his bad side already Jungkook, I think to myself, trying to control the blush that wants to grow from the embarrassment he has just caused me.

"I'm sorry professor it won't happen again" Jungkook says apologizing for both of our behavior. "See that it doesn't" he scolds and starts the lecture.  

He finally gives me my book back and doesn't speak to me again, but he sure as hell still makes his presence know with all the fidgeting he's been doing.

As the minutes tick by I feel myself losing more and more of my concentration and as soon as the lecture ends I'm up and out of my seat and head out of the building as fast as I can. I can sense that someone is following me though so I decide to stop and then feel someone bump into me.

"Hey you could've knocked us over!" he says acting like it's my fault. "Well if you hadn't been following me then we wouldn't have had this problem now would we?" I finish crossing my arms.

"What is it that you want from me? Or are you just trying to make my life miserable because you failed that class and you feel like it's my fault?" I say genuinely curious as to why he's acting like this. 

"Well I mean I'm willing to put the class thing behind if you just start being nice to me. I'm actually a really nice guy to be around and I really meant it when I said I wanted to be friends. Plus you've got me interested in that game of yours so I was wondering if you would take me back?" he finishes really making an effort to start over just like he said before.

"So your way of trying to make amends is by annoying the crap out of me? You're a lot dumber than I thought you were" I say walking away and much to my distaste he ends up following me.

"Come on just think about it, I saw the way your eyes lit up when you saw my portfolio, admit it you need me" he says regaining that cocky attitude.

"I don't need anyone, and I especially don't need you. There are plenty of designers out there, you're replaceable" I say and storm off hoping my honest feelings stopped him from wanting to talk to me for the rest of the day.

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[system-of-a-feather]

General update, but we are good. Four miles in he calmed down enough to actually get himself humor what we were saying.

We have plans for this sort of stuff and honestly, "loosing 40 pounds" is not that huge of a deal and we were planning on doing it more properly after surgery cause our chest makes it difficult plus we are currently having to operate with a nerve issue in our hands so we have to be careful about straining it, but we were planning to do it anyways.

Plus XIV while set off and in his pisser over blew how bad I am and even were back when I was in charge of physical health because even if I ever did want to do any anorexic shit, Lucille is >my< cover and will beat my ass before I starve (/lh /joking). XIV is just a better man to have in charge because he can easily and reliably handle multiple realms of physical health with little issue or risk of going overboard AND make sure the system can still have a fun relationship with food.

That said, there are a number of places we can healthily adjust out food intake that we've laxxed back a lot because of mental health situation and stressors that made it a lower priority - but we have recently cleared out mental expenses towards PhD applications by having those finished as of today and we honestly needed a challenge to keep Riku from getting depressed anyways, so it works out and its a small deal.

XIV just >really< hates BMI as a concept even when he isn't effected by it and so its a shit storm in itself.

The thing with me and managing our health is that I'm autistic over it and back when I was way less stabilized and the system was overall way less stabilized, I'd get borderline OCD about it. These days though I'm just here and chilling and its whatever. Plus XIV's still there to tell me to shut the fuck up, hes just on medical leave.

Anyways, Ray the gatekeeper is in charge of food and exercise maintenance again after 2-3 years of being retired. I'll probably be up and around the front a bit more for the next few days while we establish a new routine and mode and shit, so maybe Ill chat more who knows.

[aceofthegreenajah]

13 books! tagged by @old-man-ghost

1)Last book I read I read Ocean at the end of the lane in two days recently. It was a very fun concept. It's the kind of book that would have left a lifelong impression on me if I had read it young. But now it was just one good book in a long line of others. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) A book I recommend Let's go with a Taste of Gold and Iron. It's a very fun mystery, and the main character made me go. Wait. I know that feeling! I have a brain exactly like that too! (Riddled with anxiety and self-doubt at the most mundane things, but when things get serious, it's suddenly all business.)

3) A book that I couldn’t put down: I don't know if it exactly fits, because I wasn't fully invested from the start. But I did read all 500+ chapters of Omniscient Readers Viewpoint in just three days. And it is the only book I've ever read that make me go "Wait. I didn't know you could do that with a book." There are so many levels of meta in this book. It's like three books in one.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more): I reread a ton of books. Let's go for Kalevala just because I was reminded of it while taking the picture at the end of this post. I used to read it every 6 months or so as a teenager. When we were told to read it for school I just read it again instead of telling anyone I'd read it like six times already.

5) A book on my TBR: One that has been there for ages is the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner. I hope to get around to it one day. I already bought it after all.

6) A book I’ve put down: Putting things down (as in meaning to continue then forgetting about it) happens often. Putting down and deciding not to continue very rarely. Last was The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal. I have no idea why. In concept is sounds like just my thing and I have enjoyed her other books. My mind just couldn't get a grip on it, my attention always started to waver instantly.

7) A book on my wish list: I want an ORV official english translation SO BAD. Where is it??? It's announced and everything! Same for Nirvana In FIre, actually. Usually if I wish for a book I just buy it. It has to not exist to stay on my wish list long.

8) A favorite book from childhood: How young are we talking? Roald Dahl's witches book was my favourite at age 5. His dark materials at age 8. Good omens at age 12. Farseer trilogy at age 14. (all ages approximate)

9) A book you would give to a friend: 've gifted two people with All systems red. I would love to give it to everyone I know.

10) The most books you own by a single author: Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. As long as all 8 physical tgcf books and 4 svsss books count as separate. Though Brandon Sanderson comes very close. I think I have 7 of his books as physical copies and a few as audiobooks.

11) A nonfiction book you own: The Dawn of Everything is both excellent worldbuilding material, and really opened my eyes on how uncreative and stuck I was about how societies 'must' work. Applicable to real life as well.

12) What are you currently reading: I am still reading Exordia. It is an excellent book I'd recommend to everyone (as long as you are not particularly sensitive to body horror). But that is also why I'm going slowly because I only want to read it when I can concentrate properly. I am also reading Trash of the Count's Family when I need a less serious book, and an isekai manga, and What technology wants. The best way for me to read stuff is read whatever I feel like at the moment.

13) What are you planning on reading next? I got The Traitor Baru Cormorant at the same time I got Exordia so that's probably next.

My shelfie (one of several bookshelves. I should really weed them):

[alexrphub]

~~Cough. Cough. Good lord, I don’t remember it being this dusty around here. Probably what happens when I disappear for, what, 3 years? Returning has always been a reoccurring thought. But that thought has always been shot down by the “aren’t you too stupid for writing now that you’re off your meds” thoughts. I still ponder ideas about my characters, dreaming of actually doing something with them. But sadly, that requires effort and motivation.

But hey, stick around. I might actually do something. Assuming I actually tidy things up on this hell site (I did a quick scroll through of my dash and I don’t remember it being this dead). in the mean time, here are some of those ideas I’ve toyed with instead of actually sleeping.~~

Giving May (FMA OC) a little sister. This thought never went too far. I wanted to give her some kind of physical disability from the Ishvalan war that automail couldn’t fix, like her eardrums ruptured and she lost her hearing, giving May a reason to learn sign language, or shrapnel to the eyes taking her sight, giving May a reason to learn brail. Or making her sister mute. You get the idea. I thought about trying to write an actual fic about it, making May’s reason to learn about medicine and medical applications for alchemy be that she’s trying to “fix” her sister. It turned into more focus on May, than anything. Never did come up with many ideas for her sister.

On the subject of May. I kept playing around with the events of the Promised Day. Never got around to anything good. Mainly just May encountering Bradley, finding out the truth about Ishval, getting pissed (rightfully so), and trying, and failing, to fight him. Bradley wouldn’t grant her the mercy of a quick death, and so he’d cut off her arms (ouch) and leave her to bleed out. But help would arrive in time (I wasn’t gonna kill her off like that) and eventually she’d give in and get automail for her now missing arms, and long missing leg.

Post-Promised Day May would begin learning everything she could about proper medical uses for Alchemy. Learning that alkahestry has actual medical applications, but different fundamentals from alchemy, she’d begin researching some kind of hybrid. One close enough to alkahestry to be used medically, but still close enough to alchemy that it wouldn’t as much of a pain in the ass to learn. And if the State Alchemist program still existed, she’d show off a proof of concept, allowing her to continue her research, and earing the title “Healing Hands Alchemist”

Actually revamping Stacey (Fairy Tail OC). Dear God was there gonna be a LOT of revamps. Her name, her timeline of events, personality. I’ve changed so much she’s basically a new character with a few references to the original sprinkled in. She was going to grow up in an orphanage since she was a baby, only having the first name Samantha. It was going to be called the Alamar Orphanage and be in Hargeon. She was going to befriend a scrap yard owner (I called him “Old Man Jakobs)”, who’d later adopt her (she’d have no idea) so she could leave the orphanage and join a guild, eventually ending up at the front doors of Fairy Tail. (this would be just a few months before the Tenrou Island arc). Needing a full name for the guild application, she’d chose Alamar (someone, either Erza’s or Lucy’s, suggestion) to remember how far she’s come. It being the Fairy Tail guild, she’s be welcomed into the guild with open arms and treated like family. When the Tenrou team vanished, Samantha would stay a faithful member, and eventually (over the next year or two) bring in a few new members before the guild’s popularity finally tanked. I had ideas for celestial wizard with a good amount of silver keys, 2 2nd gen dragon slayers, one with gold dragon slayer magic (He was one of the few with names. It was gonna be Aurther. I wanted something with “au” in it. I wanted his big quirk to be that he ate change), and the other with earth dragon slayer magic (never had much ideas for this one, but this one’s quirk was they were gonna eat mud), and finally a team mate that needed a special bow to focus her magic into different arrows. Eventually calling themselves “the Golden team.” (and yes, them some of them having powers similar to the main characters was intentional, with them eventually being referred to as a poor substitute for Fairy Tail’s best.) Samantha would eventually lose her adopted father, with her finding out from his will, and inheriting his belongings, including his old, small, ship. Allowing the Golden Team to use it when needed. And for them to be present when Tenrou Island eventually returned. When Fairy Tail disbanded, so too would the Golden Team. I never settled on the others, but Samantha would eventually (after 2 or 3 months) find herself joining Mermaid Heel, where she would train with Kagura to improve her skills, eventually becoming an S Class candidate and Mermaid Heel’s latest S Class Wizard. Some time later, she would partake in the Grand Wizard Games as a representative of Mermaid Heel.

Can you tell what characters I’ve poured the most thought into?

[topscoree]

How Can I Improve My NEET Exam Performance?

The NEET (National Eligibility cum Entrance Test) is one of the most challenging exams for aspiring medical students in India. With fierce competition and a vast syllabus, it’s essential to have a solid preparation strategy. If you're aiming to improve your NEET exam performance, here are some proven strategies and tips that can help you boost your score and bring you closer to achieving your medical career dreams.

NEET Training in Coimbatore

1. Master the Syllabus

The first step to success in NEET is understanding the syllabus thoroughly. The exam mainly covers topics from Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (Botany and Zoology) as outlined in the NCERT textbooks for Classes 11 and 12. Here’s how you can tackle the syllabus effectively:

NCERT First: NCERT textbooks are the backbone of NEET preparation, especially for Biology. Make sure you’re familiar with every concept, diagram, and definition.

Break Down the Syllabus: Identify the important chapters and topics within each subject. Focus on high-weightage topics that are frequently asked in past NEET exams.

Make Notes: Keep concise, organized notes for each subject. Summarize formulas, important points, and key concepts. This will make it easier to revise closer to the exam.

2. Strengthen Core Concepts

NEET questions are concept-based, so a solid understanding of fundamental concepts is crucial. Avoid rote memorization, especially for Physics and Chemistry, where a deeper understanding is essential.

Practice Application-Based Questions: Physics and Chemistry often test your ability to apply concepts to solve problems. Work on numerical problems, derivations, and chemical reactions.

Use Visual Aids: Use diagrams, charts, and flowcharts, especially for Biology, to understand complex processes and organ structures. Visual aids make it easier to remember and understand.

3. Create a Realistic Study Schedule

Consistency is key to improving your NEET performance. Develop a realistic study schedule that covers each subject adequately without overwhelming you.

Set Daily and Weekly Goals: Break your preparation down into manageable targets. Assign specific chapters or topics to each day or week.

Balance Subjects: Avoid focusing too heavily on one subject. Allocate time to each subject, giving extra time to areas where you struggle.

Schedule Regular Revisions: Review previously covered topics at regular intervals to reinforce your understanding and memory.

NEET Coaching in Coimbatore

4. Practice with Previous Year Papers and Mock Tests

One of the most effective ways to improve your NEET performance is through extensive practice. Solving previous years’ question papers and mock tests will familiarize you with the exam pattern, question types, and difficulty level.

Analyze and Learn from Mistakes: After each test, carefully review the questions you got wrong. Identify if the issue was a lack of knowledge, misunderstanding, or carelessness.

Simulate Exam Conditions: When taking mock tests, try to replicate the actual exam conditions. Set a timer and avoid distractions. This will help you develop the endurance and concentration required for the actual exam.

Track Your Progress: Keep a record of your scores and improvement over time. This will motivate you and highlight areas that need more work.

5. Focus on Time Management

Time management is crucial in NEET, as you have to answer 180 questions in just 3 hours. Developing a time-management strategy will help you attempt the maximum number of questions accurately.

Allocate Time per Section: Divide your time between Biology, Chemistry, and Physics based on your strengths and the weightage of each section.

Avoid Spending Too Much Time on One Question: If you’re stuck on a difficult question, move on and return to it later if time permits. Avoid letting a single question take up too much of your time.

Prioritize Accuracy: Attempt questions you’re confident about first to avoid negative marking due to guessing.

6. Strengthen Weak Areas

Every student has strengths and weaknesses. Improving your NEET performance means working on your weak areas while maintaining your strengths.

Identify Problematic Topics: Review your test results to see which topics you consistently struggle with. Dedicate extra time and practice to these areas.

Seek Help if Needed: Don’t hesitate to reach out to teachers, mentors, or peers for help with difficult topics. Online resources, video tutorials, and doubt-solving sessions can be very beneficial.

NEET Training in Coimbatore

7. Take Care of Your Health and Well-being

Studying for NEET is a marathon, not a sprint. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you stay focused and motivated throughout your preparation.

Get Enough Sleep: Adequate sleep is essential for memory retention and cognitive function. Strive for 7-8 hours of restful sleep every night.

Eat Balanced Meals: A healthy diet fuels your brain and helps you concentrate. Avoid junk food and include fruits, vegetables, and protein-rich foods in your diet.

Practice Relaxation Techniques: Manage stress by practicing yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. These techniques can improve your focus and keep you calm during exams.

8. Revise Regularly

Revision is key to retaining information. After completing a topic or subject, revisit it periodically to ensure it stays fresh in your mind.

Use Flashcards and Summaries: Quick revision aids like flashcards and summaries make it easier to review important points.

Focus on High-Yield Topics: Give priority to revising topics that are most likely to appear in the exam.

Revise Smartly in the Final Days: In the last few weeks before NEET, focus on consolidating your knowledge and avoiding burnout. Stick to what you know well and avoid diving into entirely new topics.

NEET Coaching in Coimbatore

Final Thoughts

Improving your NEET performance requires dedication, smart planning, and consistent effort. By mastering the syllabus, reinforcing core concepts, practicing regularly, and managing time efficiently, you’ll be well on your way to achieving your medical aspirations. Remember, confidence comes from preparation, so stick to your plan, trust in your hard work, and keep a positive mind-set. With the right approach, cracking NEET can indeed be made simple.

[littlegreenwyvy]

I am disabled, both physically and mentally. I have MAYBE the physical ability to do one (1) single thing on any given day, out of my list if 'thungs that need to be done', without it DEFINITELY affecting my body ohysically, and the mental ability to do, on average, about half of one thing. Anythung more than one (1) simple task though, and that's getting into 'it will take me more than the rest of the day to recover my strength' territory. The more I can do sitting down the better, too, but rarely do 'tasks' typically allow for me to do them while lying in bed. Cooking, cleaning (hah), showering, getting dressed, let alone work.

Groceries? Going to get them myself is a guaranteed 2-day recovery, minimum, so I'm typically forced to use a delivery service if I have literally ANYTHING else to do.

Showering and laundry? Definitely not; ONE of those maybe (and remember laundry needs to be washed AND THEN dried too, so that's actually two things in disguise), but showering requires an hour of moving my body around (takes more than a day to recover), and our laundry is down two flights of stairs, in the basement; typically between 2 and 3 days to recover (lifting and carrying things is very difficult).

How about on the mental side; I've enrolled in remote classes this semester, so all of my schoolwork is done online. That means I can lay down in bed, working on my laptop the whole time. Physically this is ideal (remember to stretch!!), but it's difficult to describe the mental strain of just one class, let alone a few. It takes me, on average, 3 hours to read one chapter of the textbook and complete the associated assignment. Reading is completely exhausting, and while my online textbook has a built-in TTS function, it's equally taxing (albeit in a different way) to take in information audibly. By the time I'm done with the reading I can hardly think straight; words and sentences stop making sense to me, and I stop being able to mentally connect concepts with their words, or with their actual functions. It's hard to describe, but if you've ever learned a foreign language in school, it starts to feel like that. Recognizing the sounds or shapes of the words, but having to wrack your brain for the actual MEANING of them, and working through each word in the sentence to put together what's actually being said.

Most of my time is spent in that state. I can barely hold a conversation, I can't manage to 'command' my body to do things (even if I might have the physical strength to), I can't put together needs with solutions (i.e. I can't figure out how to drink water when I'm thirsty -- or I can't figure out that what I'm feeling is 'thirst' in the first place).

This is what the Social Security Administration is calling 'not a barrier to substantial gainful employment'. My application for SSI was denied because they believe that, despite this condition, I can work enough to support myself, and therefore don't need supplemental income.

[umichenginabroad]

Blog Post 3: Classes

Bonjour! This is Andrew, back again with another update from my study abroad adventure in Paris! In this post, I'll dive into the nitty-gritty of our course structure. Also, as a passionate photographer who loves to snap pictures of everything, expect random photos sprinkled throughout this post. Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them!

Photo 1: Luxembourg Train Station

Course Structure

Alright, let’s talk academics. I’m taking two courses here in Paris: Differential Equations and Photography, both through the CEA CAPA program. Classes are held Monday through Thursday, each lasting two and a half hours. I know, sounds long, right? But trust me, it’s pretty manageable and even fun at times.

Photo 2: Bus?

Differential Equations

First up, Differential Equations. If you’re like me, the mere mention of differential equations might send a shiver down your spine. But let’s be real, it’s a crucial part of our math journey, and the professor here makes it surprisingly engaging. The class is intensive, but the teaching approach is hands-on, with plenty of real-world applications.

Instead of just lecturing at us, the professor integrates interactive elements into the lessons. We frequently break into small groups to tackle problems together, which not only makes the class more dynamic but also helps us learn from each other. There’s a strong emphasis on understanding the underlying principles rather than just memorizing formulas, which makes the material feel more accessible and less intimidating.

What really stands out are the real-world applications. We don’t just solve equations for the sake of it; we explore how these concepts are used in various fields like engineering, physics, and even economics. For instance, one of our projects involved modeling population dynamics using differential equations, which was both challenging and fascinating. It’s amazing to see how these abstract concepts can be applied to solve actual problems.

Photo 3: Boat?

The workload is consistent but not overwhelming. Expect regular problem sets, but they’re all about reinforcing what we’ve learned in class, not about drowning us in work. These assignments are designed to challenge us just enough to ensure we’re grasping the material without feeling overburdened. There are also occasional quizzes and exams, but they’re fair and reflective of what we’ve covered in class.

We also have access to plenty of resources to help us succeed. The professor holds office hours twice a week, which is a great opportunity to get one-on-one help. There’s also a peer study group that meets after class, where we can collaborate and help each other out with difficult concepts.

Honestly, once you get into the groove, it’s quite manageable. The combination of engaging teaching, practical applications, and a supportive learning environment makes this class one of the highlights of my academic experience here in Paris. So, if differential equations sound daunting, don’t worry—you might just end up enjoying them as much as I do!

Photo 4: Random photo on an abandoned boat we found lol

Photography

Now, let’s talk about Photography. This class is a breath of fresh air, quite literally. We get to explore Paris with our cameras, capturing the essence of the city through various assignments. The instructor is incredibly passionate and knowledgeable, providing us with both technical skills and artistic insights.

From the very first class, we dove straight into the fundamentals. We started with understanding our cameras—everything from adjusting aperture, shutter speed, and ISO settings to mastering manual mode. The instructor made sure everyone was comfortable with their equipment before moving on to more creative aspects. We learned about composition rules, such as the rule of thirds and leading lines, which transformed our approach to framing shots.

As we progressed, we delved into more advanced techniques. We experimented with different lighting conditions, both natural and artificial, and learned how to manipulate light to create mood and depth in our photos. One memorable assignment involved shooting during the golden hour, capturing the soft, warm light that transforms everyday scenes into something magical.

Photo 5: Look at this handsome gentleman in the streets of Loire Valley

The best part? The city itself is our classroom. Each week, we embark on photo walks to iconic places like Le Louvre, Montmartre, and the charming streets of Le Marais. These excursions are not only about taking pictures but also about seeing the city through a new lens (pun intended). The instructor guides us on these walks, pointing out interesting angles, unique perspectives, and hidden gems that we might have otherwise missed. It’s an incredible way to learn and explore simultaneously.

The workload here is light and enjoyable—mainly focused on weekly assignments that encourage us to experiment and develop our own style. These assignments are varied and creative. For example, one week we might focus on street photography, capturing candid moments of daily life in Paris, while another week we might work on a themed project, like reflections or shadows. The feedback sessions are invaluable; we get to showcase our work, receive constructive critiques, and learn from each other’s perspectives.

And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t love a class that involves strolling around Paris and taking photos? It’s a perfect blend of education and leisure. Plus, the skills we’re gaining are not just for the classroom. They’re tools we can use long after the course ends, whether it’s for personal projects, professional work, or just enhancing our travel photography.

Overall, the Photography class is a highlight of my time here in Paris. It’s not just about learning technical skills, but about seeing the world in a new way and capturing the beauty around us. It’s an experience that’s enriching, inspiring, and incredibly fun.

Photo 6: Supra Sighting in Luxembourg?!?!

Overall Experience

Both courses complement each other perfectly. Differential Equations challenges my analytical side, while Photography nurtures my creative side. Having classes only four days a week means we get three-day weekends to explore Paris and beyond, which is a huge plus. It’s the perfect balance of academics and adventure.

In summary, the courses at CEA CAPA are structured in a way that’s rigorous yet enjoyable. The long classes might sound daunting at first, but the engaging content and excellent teaching make them fly by. Plus, the manageable workload means we have plenty of time to soak in all the wonders Paris has to offer.

Thanks for sticking with me through this post! If you have any questions about the courses or just want to chat about study abroad experiences, feel free to reach out. Until next time, au revoir!

Hsien-Cheng Chou (Andrew Chou)

Mechanical Engineering

Engineering in Paris

[anakinthetrashking]

the batkids as things I did in school

Dick:

take dance class and be friends with everyone even though there was some weird infighting going on between everyone. forget to do the assignment to make up a dance ourselves, just improv'd it and got a good grade, somehow. had the most fun slipping down the hallways in socks.

halfway through the year asked to have a free period instead of ASL 3, bc the teacher wasn't teaching us anything or even keeping it interesting so I spent the whole afternoon in Physics class instead.

went all out for 80s day during Spirit Week but turns out no one else did. got a lot of weird looks and concerned questions that day. one kid said I looked like a jumpscare. thanks dude.

missed more than half of my statistics classes but was still getting a better grade than the seniors I sat near. 😭

Barbara:

got really angry when the Pre-AP Bio teacher disnt know whether Carbon was 6 or 8 on the Periodic Table. 14yr old me thought that it was extremely important to know as a science teacher. failed the first 6wks, got moved to a regular bio class, was late everyday but the teacher still loved me. found and identified a tumor in the stomach of the pig we dissected in class. Can still sing the entire DNA song(to the tune of I Want it That Way) word for word over 10yrs later. Still gets stuck in my head sometimes.

kept getting told off in sewing class bc we weren't supposed to hold the pins in our mouth while sewing bc it's dangerous if we accidentally swallow them but that's what I was used to doing at home.

Jason:

stunned the much older kids in my class playing Hangman by looking up and immediately guessing "Labyrinth" from the few letters that everyone else had guessed (one of them looked up what the hardest word was for the game and that was it. it would have been if I wasn't so obsessed with Phantom of the Opera and the David Bowie Labyrinth movie at that point in time)

read all of the short stories in that years English textbook within the first month of school every year

Cass:

smile at people (esp teachers) so wide that id have to close my eyes, and then immediately dropping the smile. (it gave me a break from eye contact and trying to figure out what expression I "should" have in that moment)

Everytime I joyfully played in the rain during lunch and then froze my butt off during afternoon classes in the AC.

also the times I was late for afternoon class bc I was overjoyed at seeing snow.

Tim:

was too overwhelmed to actually do the required amount of weekly reading so I just picked classic books I had already read and picked a random place to put the bookmark and easily answered the teachers questions on what I was "reading"

be a "gifted" student so I was put in the fast track math class but was too anxious to deal with that teacher's incessant yelling at the students so I begged them to put me in a different class. they put me in a regular paced class and told me to just go ahead and do the fast track by myself at my own pace. got distracted and never did the work. switched schools the next year and got put in the next math up and totally regretted it but was in too deep to back out.

dropped out of public school in 11th grade to have a mental breakdown ✌️ eventually finished HS later through online classes and stuff.

Steph:

get hooked on Kpop bc the one friend I had made moved away and now I was stuck with her friends at lunch without much of anything in common so we had to make something.

fell asleep in class bc I was awake all night watching kdramas.

had to do a report on a European country and then got overly attached to the country of Moldova...

Duke:

only got detention twice in all of the years of school. once for being late all the time and once for not turning in my homework on time(the teach didn't want to give me detention but she threatened everyone with it and it was only fair)

Always skipped Pep Rallys and hung out in the Orchestra room instead. also ate lunch in one of the empty practice rooms behind the band hall with friends bc we could :)

got overly excited about black hole radiation and decided to ask my then science teacher about it and was SUPER disappointed when she didn't know anything about it (despite it being a fairly new concept at the time and she only taught middle school non-specific science)

Damian:

got put in theatre class to fill an empty spot on my schedule, enjoyed it IMMENSELY, got assigned "weirdo kid" role by the teacher for the end of year play. really went all out to play up the weirdo role. probably could have just been myself and it would've been enough.

managed to get into a Ceramics class without taking an applicable basic art credit first. the teacher thought it was weird but she didn't kick me out!

all three times I was asked out I turned them down brutally because I didn't really understand social convention. whoops. sorry dudes.

accidentally offended someone when I said that Art 1 was easy :/ (I think they thought I was saying art in general was easy, which. no. I was taking Art 1 as an online class and it was all the basic stuff about art I had learned from my older sis over the years)

[catboynecromancy]

Kissing prompts day 3, given to me by the wonderful @creativefiend19. Thank you so much for this one, I loved writing about their first date. 💕 Do I get the extra points for making it in canon verse? 😊

Pynch — An awkward kiss given after a first date.

-

So, how about a date night, Parrish?

This is the question that started it all. Adam had been in the middle of homework for his Interpretation and Application of Mathematics course, unable to hold back his groans and sighs of frustration, while Ronan bounced a Spongebob ball against the wall. At one point in time, Adam would have found this distracting, but now it’s become so commonplace it melts into the background along with the buzzing of his miniature fridge and the ticking of a clock on the wall.

“So,” Ronan says after a while, pausing his incessant fidgeting. “How about a date night, Parrish?”

Adam takes a moment to glare down at the paper, his overworked brain screaming for something to break the monotony and stress building with each passing minute. He’s been at this for hours now and he thinks, if he keeps going, it’ll probably be counterintuitive to getting anything else done.

So.

Date night.

“You want to go on a date? With me?” Adam asks, turning in his old, wobbly wooden chair to glance back at Ronan where he sits on the bed, black, ripped-up jean-covered legs spread out in front of him.

Ronan shrugs, an attempt at being nonchalant but failing miserably. “It’s been weeks since we started dating,” there’s a weird bite to the word when he replies, wiggling his Doc Martens. “We haven’t even been on a real date.”

His mouth opens to respond but Ronan quickly interrupts, “And making out in the BMW doesn’t count, ya horny bastard.”

And promptly snaps shut with an audible click. “Okay,” Adam says, giving a slight nod. “What were you thinking?”

“Dinner. A movie. Taking a long, romantic drive through the countryside,” he continues in a teasing tone, “Promise I’ll get you back at a decent time.”

It doesn’t sound like the most remarkable of ideas, no different from things they would normally do, but something about it changes when the word date is attached. All of a sudden, what they’re doing is too real, no longer just two horny teenagers giving into each other’s visceral desires, and Adam isn’t certain how he feels about this when it crosses the line between physical vulnerability into the emotional side.

But it’s Ronan and there’s no one Adam trusts to hold his heart in their hands more than him, even if he’s loath to admit it.

So he leaves his grueling coursework and they go on a date. Ronan takes him to Nino’s (Really, Lynch?), where they toss fries into each other’s mouths, laughing maniacally every time they miss (which is more often than not, admittedly). They find a dumb action movie to watch at the theater a town over, stuffing their faces with the plethora of sugary snacks Ronan purchases at the concessions stand, laughing more at how inane the film is.

Then, they climb into the BMW, and Ronan puts on an impossibly dark and sultry beat, the bass throbbing in time with Adam’s pulse. The whole atmosphere changes, the creature of wants and needs inside of Adam clawing to get out. He wants Ronan to pull over on the side of the empty street; he needs to crawl on Ronan’s lap and claim every part of him mercilessly, with abandon, until there’s nothing left to give.

Instead, when Ronan pulls over, he hops out before Adam can do anything and demands that he drive them back to St. Agnes. Adam thinks of protesting but, if he can’t have Ronan, the next best thing is getting to drive the BMW. So he does this, making sure to shift gears with careful consideration and intimacy, treating her like he would a lover. Or, well, maybe not, since the way he handles Ronan is often not so cautious with his touch.

They get back after midnight and park in the church lot, climbing out of the car. “Decent time my ass, Lynch,” Adam says. “Wanna come up?”

Ronan shakes his head, stepping around the BMW, edging nearer until they’re so close, Adam feels the warmth pulsing off of him in great contrast to the chilly, autumn air. “Nah. I don’t put out on the first date.”

Adam rolls his eyes but leans in for a kiss. His parted lips hit Ronan’s cheek and he pulls away, blinking, to look at Ronan. He’s turned, dark eyebrows drawn in, uncharacteristically nervous in a moment that should be simple and easy, like all the other times their mouths have met.

What’s so different about this?

“Uh…” It’s Ronan’s turn to try, but Adam’s taken a step back and he misses.

They hesitate, mumble excuses, attempting at the same time only to make it inches away before they both pull back. Adam feels a hot, anxious flush build in his cheeks that crawls up to his ears, and Ronan’s pale features have darkened as well, apparent even with just the flickering streetlight illuminating them in bursts.

“Fuck,” Ronan mutters, “Try again.”

Adam gives himself a moment to consider what is so dissimilar about this from every other time. Maybe, he thinks, it’s more real than the rest. It’s weird, how things change, when feelings are laid bare and actual romance is involved.

This Ronan isn’t the one who just wants to make out endlessly, this is the Ronan who cares, who Adam is pretty sure is in love with him. Who Adam, although still not wholly convinced, thinks he can fall in love with, too. Soon. Maybe sooner than he intends.

“Okay.”

He cups his hands around the sides of Ronan’s throat, brushing a thumb along the very faintly risen skin where pointed, black imagery has been etched in. Ronan takes a hitching, shaky breath, all nerves in the shape of a teenage boy, and Adam pauses to allow them both a second to bask in a rare instance of shared weakness.

When he bridges the distance, pressing chapped lips together in an awkward, chaste kiss, there’s a spark of something that Adam recognizes from the first time they did this in Ronan’s childhood bedroom. The gesture is returned, but just so. Ronan is shaking, or Adam is, or maybe it’s both of them. Heat spills from Ronan’s mouth into his own, lightning courses through Adam’s pumping blood, sending dangerous shocks straight to his heart. All that anchors him to this miniscule, human form is the boy before him.

Adam wants, he needs, and yet he realizes it might be okay to take things slow for both their sakes. He pulls away but not far, jittery with equal parts apprehension and excitement. “Sure you don’t want to come up?”

It’s Ronan who breaks their connection, stepping back to look at the pavement beneath their feet, it's cracks brimming with slowly dying plants. He palms his buzzed scalp, shifting back and forth. “Not tonight,” Ronan says. “I...got some shit I gotta do in the morning.”

He recognizes a Lynch not-lie-not-truth when it's given. Carefully skirting the truth but not outright lying, a compromise that doesn’t betray his earnestness.

“Okay, I’ll seeya later.” Adam doesn’t push, even if a part of him wants to.

“Yeah, later.”

Ronan is almost at the driver’s side door when Adam finally gets the nerve to say what he should have much earlier. “Ronan?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks. For the date. I really needed a break.”

Deep-set, ice blue eyes shift towards Adam, an intensity to them that is quickly broken by a wide and goofy grin. It’s one for Adam’s eyes only, more defenseless than anything else they’ve done this night. “No problem, Parrish. Someone’s gotta keep you from melting your magnificent brain with all that boring homework.”

Adam nods. They leave it at that because there’s nothing left to say. He watches Ronan effortlessly drop into his M6, watches as he caresses the steering wheel in a way Adam wishes was him, watches the red tail lights as they speed out of the St. Agnes lot and down the street, and he watches even once Ronan is long gone and only the memory of him remains painted there, an afterimage of his wants and needs personified.

With a sigh, Adam runs his hand over his face, letting a few curses learned from Ronan spill from his lips.

It had been almost too good of a night.

Maybe love isn’t as far away of a concept as Adam had assumed.

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light Chapter 13: Tunnels

A/N: Hey there, long time no see. Left to hyperfixate on Doctor Who for a while, but I’m back on my Fablehaven business. This is a long chapter, it probably should be two chapters in the final version, but I really wanted to get the tunnels part out. Also, let me know if Kendra’s crafting is making sense and if the dialog for this chapter is working out. Very important chapter. 

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13

Chapter 13: Tunnels

 When Kendra woke up the next morning, she knew Ronodin had left. The night before they had eaten dinner separately, and while Kendra focused on reading or staring at the library wall, Ronodin hadn’t come out of his room. She saw him for a moment as she went to bed, but he turned away from her.

It was confirmed by a note on the countertop.

Love,

I hate to leave while we’re fighting, but I have to go handle another errand for our host. Despite your doubts in me and what I implied, I will be back for you, and we’ll go on another little adventure. This is what we have to do until we can go on the bigger adventures together in the sunlight. At the bottom of this note is another design for an amulet you might try, and we’ll both be working to shorten your quarantine.

Ronodin

 And Kendra was back to feeling bad all over again! She went back and forth all yesterday afternoon about apologizing again, promising that Mendigo wouldn’t stop him if he tried to leave, or holding to her words. It was dangerous. He was trying. She was being difficult. She had a right to be difficult.

Sketched at the bottom of the note was a triangle amulet, with crescents open to the left. Inside the triangle was a circle inside an oval with an ‘x’ through it, bisecting in the center of the circle. Because you have to carve intent into every craft, Kendra had to go look up what the symbol meant in the dictionary he gave her.

The triangle was a curse, and the eye a symbol for blindness. Putting it within a circle, she should be able to direct it only at certain people, namely enemies. Did she want to blind her enemies? On the one hand, it was the same principal as her weakness charm. No harm, unless they intended to harm her first. On the other…

As someone who can count on her hands the number of rooms she’s seen, as someone who is alienating the single relationship she has to get a glimpse of sunlight, and as someone whose most prized possession is a landscape painting of the outside, could she take away someone else’s sight?

Maybe she could limit it to cursing people not to see her. An invisibility charm was a lot less problematic than a blinding curse. Combing through the books didn’t give her any insight on how to limit the blindness. In fact, applying Ronodin’s charm as is to a circular amulet wouldn’t even limit duration. It would blind any enemy that looked at her once, permanently.

It would take good craft and magic application to create, and a single mistake would make the magic run out halfway through the first use of the amulet, leaving a person…partially blinded? Blinded in one eye? Temporarily blinded? It didn’t say, so Kendra had to put a couple of concepts together to make a guess. Magic based on gaze was actually the most magic consuming type of enchantment. That was all it said, so Kendra went looking through her little library for more of an explanation.

She managed to clobber together answers from five different books:

All magic is reactionary, a person must interact with the spell caster or the enchanted object for the magic to be applied. The safest place from magic is away from it. Simply seeing something only activates extremely rare curses and enchantments, usually crafted from Dragon parts, because it just required that much magic. Touch is the most common type of curse conduit, and came in the variations. Presence within an enchanted area or physical contact with the item or caster were the most common. Proximity casting is rare, but technically falls between touch and sight in terms of magic usage. There was also gaseous spells, which technically also operated based on touch, but the enchanted matter expanded, so that’s also deserved a special mention.

Kendra was a limitless supply of magic. If she wore a sight-based curse, well crafted to actually create an effect, it would never run out of juice. It would fully infect others every time. It also couldn’t be used against her to the same potential.

If she made that work, there was no way Ronodin could justify keeping her locked up.

But what if…what if her brother felt like he had to harm her in order to get her to go with him? She could blind him, and not even know it. Is that what old Kendra would have wanted, after giving up her memory for him? No. Temporarily feeling too weak to chase her? Fine. Permanently blinding someone with good intentions? Not fine.

Kendra left the books open and went into the hallway.

“Mendigo?” she asked, and the puppet walked in front of her. “How many hours ago did Ronodin leave?”

Mendigo held up two fingers.

“Did he say words as he left out the front door?” she checked.

Mendigo shook his head. Ha. She knew that he had made that up to keep her from stealing the key.

“You have to follow all my orders, correct?” Kendra checked. And the puppet nodded.

“Are there things I can’t tell you to do?”

Mendigo hesitated, then nodded his head.

“Are the things you won’t do if I tell you impossible because Ronodin ordered you not to do them?”

Head shaking no. She couldn’t ask him about the things he couldn’t do, Mendigo couldn’t handle questions more complicated than yes and no.

“If I gave you a paintbrush, would you be able to write out explanations to longer questions?”

Mendigo shook his head no. Drat. Complicated magic, but not an intelligence behind it.

Could she craft a puppet like Mendigo? Probably not, not unless there was some kind of wood that wanted to become a limberjack. None of her books said anything about creating a little bit of intelligence, enough to answer questions and have memory. But maybe if she got good enough. Though why she’d want another when she already had Mendigo made it a moot question. It was probably impossible anyway.  

“Mendigo, the things I could ask you to do and you wouldn’t,” she asked, “is that because they would be impossible for you to do?”

He nodded, and pointed at the front doorknob. Right, she had told him to open the door, and he couldn’t.

“Would you be able to tell me if Ronodin is the one really giving you orders?” Kendra tried.

More hesitation, then slow nodding.

“Has Ronodin ever given you any orders that you followed?”

More nodding. That didn’t actually tell her much. Ronodin was her secret boyfriend, if she had ever once said ‘Mendigo, do what Ronodin says,’ then the answer to this question would be yes.

“Are you currently following any of Ronodin’s orders?” she said. Vigorous no.

“Right,” Kendra said, feeling a little better. “From now on, you are not to follow anyone’s orders but my own, under any circumstance. Will you be able to follow that order?”

Here came the longest pause. Was it because she was asking him a question about the future? Maybe the enchantment didn’t allow for questions like that.

Slowly, Mendigo nodded his head. That was good.

For the rest of the morning, she settled on making a stronger version of her first amulet, temporary weakening based on intent and proximity. Maybe if she made that good enough, she wouldn’t have to permanently blind someone just to be free.

Ronodin showed up in the late afternoon, but didn’t fully enter the apartment, instead choosing to stand in the doorway.

“I see you didn’t take my suggestion,” Ronodin said, nodding at the newly carved amulet in her hand. She had taken a break to grab a snack from the kitchen, and found him there.

“Is this your way of checking in on me without having to let me out?” Kendra asked, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I ran into a snag when arranging your fake death,” Ronodin explained, “A quick video of you telling the person to help me will fix all my problems. I need to go back out again right away —”

Kendra sighed, “You can come in Ronodin, Mendigo won’t stop you from leaving.” Because it felt like the properly dramatic thing to do, she leaned against the hallway wall and slid down until she was sitting. It took a small adjustment, but her current red dress was stretchy, and she managed to do it modestly.

Ronodin came and slid down beside her, and the door swung shut.

“I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” Kendra said. “it’s not fair, and there’s no excuse, but it’s just so frustrating being locked up like this.”

Ronodin smiled, “Believe me, I know more than you can guess at what that’s like. Think you’re ready to hear why my family hates me?”

Kendra nodded, sitting up straighter.

“Forever ago, I started to question why the Fairy Queen was the ultimate authority on what was good and what was bad in the world. There were five other thrones, and they all play important roles in keeping the world functioning, and they all had different ideas of what was good and right than the Fairy Queen. But mortal wizards sided with her, as did human adventurers, and every kind of mortal agreed: the Fairy kingdom is the brightest light, and we should all strive to their ideals.

“Never mind the naiads and great fairies who kill because mortality is funny. Never mind the imps and the abandoned nipsies. Never mind the philosophies of balance that demand that destruction is just as important as creation to the continuation of the world. Never mind the strength of not picking a side and acting according to your own will and conscious. It sickened me to be part of such an oppressive kingdom that claims the moral right in everything.”

Ronodin drifted into a memory. “What did you do?” Kendra asked, bringing him back.

“I corrupted my horns,” Ronodin said simply, “It took a bit of time and a lot of favors, but I was able to break myself from the Fairy Kingdom. The Queen doesn’t command me anymore. I owe allegiance only to myself, and that’s how I want it to be. Some of those favors contributed to people getting hurt, but I can’t regret it. When I saw you going through something similar, I knew I had to talk to you. And now, here we are.”

“Here we are,” Kendra echoed. Sitting in the depths of some underground labyrinth, fighting over prison keys and the greater good, Kendra with no memory of who she was, and Ronodin fighting the same battles he’s fought his entire life over freedom.

Kendra leaned over and touched Ronodin of her own volition. Nothing romantic, not really, just her head resting on his shoulder. A silent show of support.

She sat up after just a minute, because she liked sincere Ronodin much better than flirty or angry Ronodin. (Flabberghasted Ronodin still held top spot).

“Let’s get that video for you,” Kendra said, then paused. “Wait, no one is going to get hurt when faking my death, right?”

Ronodin shook his head and took out his cell phone, “I promise, no humans are going to be harmed in the faking of your death. I just need some help creating a believable fake body.”

Kendra gave a little smile, “Doesn’t it ruin my fake death if someone knows about it and is helping you set it up?”

“Be very vague,” he advised, “The vaguer the better, so that when we do fake your death, even they will be convinced.”

“Okay then, what should I say?” she asked. “Am I talking to someone specific?”

Ronodin pointed the phone camera at her, “No, I’ll probably need to use it on a couple of people. Just tell the viewer to help me. Don’t mention my name directly, if you can help it. The less they know about who you’re with, the safer you’ll be. Ready…three, two one.”

"Oh, um, hi,” Kendra waved at the camera sheepishly, “I’m not sure who is going to have see this, but this guy is actually helping me. If you could lend him a hand, that would be great and I could get out of here much faster. Thank you!”

Ronodin then changed the view of the camera so that they were both in the picture, and gave a little wave. “Anything for Kendra.” He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and caught the start of her blush before he stopped recording.

“There, that should be convincing enough,” he said, pocketing his phone.

“I assure you, that kiss was unnecessary,” she said, folding her arms, still red.

He grinned back, “And I assure you, my caterpillar, that it was completely necessary. Another one for the road?”

Kendra stood up rather than let him take another kiss. They had had a good moment, she wasn’t going to let him ruin it. He stood up as well.

“I’ll probably arrive back while you’re asleep,” he said. “Can I see how you’re doing with that amulet? You chose another weakening one?”

“I’m not ready to permanently blind my misguided family,” Kendra said, handing over the amulet.

Ronodin nodded, “Well, you’re progressing. A lot more magic took in this one than your first try. It’s well on the way to making fatigue hit anyone who lays a hand on you.”

Kendra frowned, “I was going for proximity, still not enough focus?”

Ronodin nodded, “The applied magic isn’t strong enough, nor is the craftsmanship. You accidentally cut all the way through one broken link, making one of your four chains whole, and you really oversanded the top. Don’t worry, we’ll work on it some more when I get back. This is a skill like any other, it’s going to take time. You’ll get better at this, I promise.”

Kendra nodded, sighing over the flaws he pointed out. “Is ‘have fun’ the wrong response for the task of faking my death?”

“Oh,” he said grinning, “After the stunts you pulled, I’ll be having lots of fun. Don’t go crazy.”

“You’ll be the first to know if I do.”

Mendigo stepped out of the shadow of the doorway as Ronodin approached, “It’s fine Mendigo. Ronodin can come and go as he pleases.” Kendra said.

Mendigo stepped back and Ronodin stepped past and closed the door without a backward glance.

Knowing she lost the fight, Kendra returned to the craft room. She took that feeling, and turned it into the desire to weaken those that would make her lose with every paint brush stroke.

The second medallion was certainly more than just wood and paint when Kendra was done with it. It felt…expectant. Waiting to fulfill its purpose. A spiked trap, waiting to fall. It was kind of exhilarating, knowing what she had created had force and abilities beyond her.

Kendra had wielded magic.

Kendra looked back over the amulet that Ronodin has suggested she make, then ran to one of the books she had referenced that morning about how to build in a command. A dual check, the person had to want to harm her, and she had to want to curse them. She could make that curse.

All it needed was a second circular border with a notch, and Kendra would have to hold it and intend to activate it before it would blind someone. The pattern was more complex than what she had attempted before, but after all her reading, she felt ready. She switched to a block of wood called stiltseia, because the description indicated that it’s flowers alternatively flashed darkness or bright light each time the flowers bloomed. It felt right for this project.

Kendra worked though lunch, snacking on the bread and cheese that populated their kitchen. This time she made sure that if her carving tool was touching wood, she had her magic gathered and turned towards blinding enemies. The emotions feeding this purpose were vengeance, ambition, and desire to lash out. She didn’t have strong vengeance on her own, but Lady Kuychia wrote the book on vengeance, and Kendra had read it. Towards the end of Lady Kuychia’s life, when her husband found out about her shadow charmer abilities, he accused her of being pure evil, stole their children, and put a ‘kill the witch’ order throughout the entire countryside surrounding them. Vicariously, Lady Kuychia’s burning vengeance took shape in the amulet, to permanently blind those that would harm her.

Lady Kuychia had never gotten vengeance herself, if the handwritten note in the back indicating that the conquistadors pillaging the area around her village had hung her, after she kept putting out the fires meant to burn her. They caught her when she had sacrificed herself in a distraction to give her children a chance to run away from the Portuguese raid. Her husband had spat at her on his way out with their children. The children were captured and killed the day after their mother had died by hanging. Those emotions fueled the carving.

Except the outer notched circle. Following instructions, she focused on her need for control. The battle to control her negative emotions took place outside her body for the first time, as she ordered the power of the amulet into the circle, and into where she said they should stay. There were two different types of magic under her hands, the negative emotions of the amulet and the unyielding neutral control being pushed through her tool. Building a wall around the fire pit.

Kendra added a coat of paint right away, it didn’t feel bound tightly enough without it. This time she selected a dark purple paint, phantom tears and harpy blood. She was going by instinct, but tears also came from the eyes, and harpies seemed like the kind of creature more than happy to take out your eye for taking their blood.

It came out a color so deep, it was almost black, but the purple seemed to highlight around the cuts of her design. She hung it on a hook over the fire, next to the one she had made that morning. Three amulets down. No way to safely test them.

Crafting two amulets was exhausting enough that she wanted to take a nap. First, she had to clean up the mess she had made in the library.

Unfortunately, she had to guess at the places she had taken the books from. She had a vague idea of the organization: magic books left of the fire, histories and biographies on the right, and close to the door were the reference books, but without being able to read all the languages, she was mostly guessing.

Kendra scooted a space a little wider to make room for where she thought a book was supposed to go, and a yellowed piece of paper fell from between the spines. Kendra put the book away and picked up the paper.

To the current occupant,

You’re probably like me, someone whose abilities can only be used voluntarily, so they are keeping you locked up here until they can convince you to do what they want. I have no hope for rescue, and I refuse to do what they ask. I expect to die here, but I have hidden notes written in Silvian, and hidden them around the library to pass the time. If there is nothing else to my life, maybe these notes will make the duration easier for the next occupant.

So far I have discovered a single secret tunnel going out of here. Twist the head of the goblin statue and the wall will become permeable. I won’t survive outside this room, but maybe a prisoner better suited for this environment could use it to their advantage.  

Peace,

Maykrill of Anksonling

 Not what she expected to find, but she was wide awake now. It took a little bit of digging, but the goblin statue was directly diagonal behind her favorite reading chair. What kind of prison cell has a tunnel in it?

The tunnel probably didn’t lead outside, there was no way she was that lucky, but ‘anywhere else’ still ranked pretty high on the places she wanted to be.

The statue was a little taller than her palm, and currently being used as a bookend. The goblin made an icky sound when she twisted the head, like she was killing a living thing, and the small stretch of wall between bookcases became hazy. More gas than solid, and while she had to turn sideways to fit, she made it through just fine.

Unfortunately, she could barely see in front of her face. With how good she’s gotten at hiding her light, there was practically nothing. Should she un-dim herself? It would let things know where she was when she probably didn’t want them to, but she was probably already glowing a little anyway.

Kendra reached out and touched a wall, which immediately lit torches filled with the same blue fire that haunted her own apartment. Hiding wasn’t an option. Should she go back? But what was she waiting for?  Ronodin wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours yet, it was mid-afternoon. She might not get a better chance to figure out more about where she was.

If someone asked her what she was doing, she would just head back. And she’d stay out of the dragon invested grotto. A quick check showed that the wall was completely permeable from this side, meaning she wasn’t going to be locked out. Unless the twisted head operated on a timer. But she wouldn’t be able to test that theory without it being too late to do anything about it. Her best bet would be to make the most of this current foray, but if she didn’t leave for long periods of time and she didn’t get locked out, she might be able to keep this secret until they were cleared to leave this place. She grabbed her second amulet on her way towards the tunnel.

So much for Ronodin winning their battle of wills. Ha.

Kendra crept along the corridor, her bare feet quiet along the ground. It sloped downward, and she thought there was a very subtle switchback before it opened another fuzzy wall. Fuzzy on her side, hopefully solid on the opposite side. Stepping closer, she tried to get a good view of the room before she set foot.

The room seemed large, enormous even. It was dimly lit with sporadic torches, the stone darker than in her hallway. A neutral jean blue darkened into marbled navy, made to look even colder by blue flame. Kendra glanced down at her bare feet, and really hoped the ruby necklace actually warmed her up and didn’t just shut off her perception of cold.

There were large structures scattered about the room, and Kendra narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out the nearest one through the wall.

“I know your mother taught you better manners than to skulk when you know people can sense you, Ronodin. Please do leave me be, I’m not telling you anything else, and this constant taunting is rather irritating, even for you.”

Her eyes adjusted as the boy spoke. Because he was a boy, and based on his voice, couldn’t be much older than her, probably Ronodin’s age. She could catch the outline of bars, bent in around a circle, like a bird cage. Almost appropriate, given that this boy’s voice was the most melodic she had ever heard. Beautiful as Ronodin’s, but in a different way. Clearer, somehow.

“Fine, I will simply annoy you in return. I don’t think High Sylvian has ever graced these halls, join in if you remember the words:

 Follow the wind,

The one that blows of honey and rose

A caress, a brush, steady and slow

Follow the wind to Asamelle

  Trail the stream,

Of cerulean and lily pads green

It bubbles laughter and splashes song

Trail the stream to Asamelle

  Chase the light,

It hovers and flickers at the edge of sight

Whiter than ever beheld, brighter than ever-ever lived,”

The boy’s voice cracked here, and the imperfection in the perfect song made her throat grow tight. When he started singing again, it was just a little more raw, and Kendra had to cover her mouth.

“Chase the light to Asamelle

Chase the light home.

  You followed the wind, and trailed the stream,

chased the light, found the dream,

Home, to Asamelle.

  Moonlight blossoms, viridian forest,

Wave to the naiad, dance to the Djini lyre

Unicorns race and run through the mire

You have come home to Asamelle

  Beneath the tiger sky, follow softly,

Pass tree-grown houses, and beds of petals new

The final rise gives way to Heartsworn

The crowning jewel of Asamelle

  There’s so much light, it’s too bright,

Push forward; the sun was brought to house,

The virtuous beings of Asamelle

  An orchestra of birds, winds, and strings

Elf and Phoenix dance with the grace of falling leaves,

Step forward, part of the dance, the moment, the chance

Asamelle sings you home.”

 A tear slid down her cheek. An honest tear, her payment for the song. It was so full of love and longing; it would have been a sin to not be affected.

“Hang on, Ronodin would never have listened to me sing that,” the boy said, “Who are you?”

Kendra fled back to the library. She banged her hip on her way through the secret passage, and curled up in her armchair.

Her heart was thumping, pounding, her face hot. What was wrong with her? She just…all she needed was a moment to calm down and collect herself. That prisoner revealed a lot, she just needed some space and time from his voice to be able to process it.

The prisoner was so sad. How could anyone keep him jailed away like that? Was Asamelle his home? Why did he ever leave? It sounded beautiful, in a way that looks fragile but is more solid than anything else. A sculpture that appears to be made of glass, but is actually of ice or diamond.

And the part she didn’t want to think about: Ronodin is his jailor. He seemed to know Ronodin quite well, well enough think he could tick Ronodin off. And considering Ronodin’s relationship with his home, that song probably would. The boy thought she was Ronodin, there to question him some more. What could Ronodin want with him? How many more of her schemes would Ronodin tolerate until Kendra was in a cage next to the boy?

If she was trapped down there, would he sing for her if she asked?

No. The goal was to get out to the sunlight, not end up another bird in a cage, one much more unpleasant than her current residence. Why was he in a cage? Ronodin was all about freedom, and making sure people had the space to make their choices. He seemed to hate that Kendra was in a cage, Ronodin wouldn’t imprison someone else without reason.

Things weren’t adding up. Should she wait to confront Ronodin about it? Should she go talk to the trapped boy? Kendra thought she could make another trip before Ronodin came back tonight. Who would be more likely to lie? The boy or Ronodin?

Kendra needed facts. Evidence. Mendigo was under her full control. She had a brother named Seth. She chose to give up her memory. Ronodin loved her. She was fairykind and could use magic to make enchanted objects and see in the dark. Everything else she knew came from Ronodin’s story.

Kendra wanted to talk to the boy. And when Ronodin came back, she didn’t know when he’d leave again. This could be her only chance.

The goblin’s head was back to normal, and she broke the neck again. Kendra also took her second amulet, to weaken those who would harm her, not the blinding one. If the boy had the intention of harming her while she was down there, her curse would strike. Possibly. Not that he could do much from inside a birdcage.

The hallway had darkened, but lit once again as she touched the wall. Surer than the first time, Kendra hurried down the secret tunnel to the half-there wall. Once again, Kendra stopped.

“I know you’re there,” the boy called, much softer this time.

Gathering her courage, Kendra passed through the wall, halfway. She spotted an identical goblin statue, this time part of the brace holding up a torch, and went through all the way.

She walked forward, and a light sprung from inside the cage, small and dim, it illuminated the boy.

He was handsome. Unbelievably handsome. Kendra couldn’t remember seeing the cover of a magazine, and only knew that they depicted pretty people. She felt like she wouldn’t ever need to see a magazine; the boy in front of her screamed that kind of impossible perfection. White hair, blue eyes, unblemished pale skin, cupid’s bow lips that had fallen open at the sight of her.

Too late she remembered that she was currently wearing the stretchy red dress, a ruby medallion, a white cursed amulet (luckily that eyesore was tucked under her neckline), and her hideous orange cardigan. Her hair had been brushed and tied back before she started crafting, and she certainly wasn’t wearing the makeup in her bathroom. She felt a thousand times grungier than she had before.

The boy’s face changed, hardening, and he turned to speak to the general space around them, “Nice try Ronodin. I’m not going to lie and say I expected you to send a fake Kendra,” she jumped when he said her name, “but she really needs some work. This one barely glows, much less radiates like the sun. I’m honestly more surprised you let through such a bad copy.”

“Oh, um, Ronodin didn’t send me, I’m kind of here without him knowing, so I’d appreciate it if we could keep this a secret,” Kendra said nervously, tugging at her cardigan, hoping to turn it into something less ridiculous. “And I can shine brighter, but it seems to bother people, so I dim it.”

The boy raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “Kendra could never be dim.”

She unclenched the mental fist halfway, removing part of the block on her light, and immediately things became easier to see. One of the nearby cages started grumbling, so she dimmed it again.

He stared at her, and Kendra blushed and shifted under his gaze.

“Um…, I came to ask you some things,” Kendra tried, eyes drawn to the floor. This was not how she expected this to go. “But mostly, I really liked your song. Is Asamelle your home?” That was not what Kendra meant to ask him about, and blushed. Hopefully he couldn’t see in the dim light the way she could.

“Asamelle was the capital city of the old Fairy Realm,” he said, with disbelief. “Kendra, look at me.”

It clicked in her head, “Oh, you know me, don’t you?” she said, doing as he asked and looking at him. “I’m sorry, but I’m having some trouble remembering you at the moment.”

“And I’m still having trouble believing you’re the real Kendra,” he said. “Not knowing who I am isn’t doing you any favors.”

Kendra shrugged, “Don’t take it personally, I don’t know who anyone is. My oldest memory is turning a key that made me lose my memory. My brother Seth was there, and Ronodin, also an angry guy that claimed to be the King of the Dragons, and a magical dwarf. We were all fighting over a stone and my brother kind of won, I think, then I faked my own kidnapping and brought myself here. I really am sorry I don’t remember you.”

He was shaking his head slowly.  

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said, but I’m still having some trouble believing you’re Kendra and not some Ronodin knock off sent here to torture me,” he said, “Do you mind letting me confirm your story?”

“How?” she asked cautiously.

He held out a hand through the bars, “It’s not bad, just touch my hand, and give me permission to see if you are telling the truth. I can’t see anything you don’t want me to, and you won’t feel a thing.”

Kendra pulled back a little. “I don’t know your name, and I don’t know who or what you are. I’m sorry, I really don’t feel comfortable doing that.” Could all unicorns do what he said? She might be in a lot more trouble with Ronodin than she thought.

“I’m Bracken,” he said, retracting his hand and backing away, “We’ve done this before, if you really are Kendra. I’m a unicorn, and the Fairy Queen herself vouched for me.” His eyes softened, looking over her again, “I’m sorry, whatever is going on, I don’t mean to frighten you. I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with, though it will make trusting you a little more difficult. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Oh, he was kind. Why would Ronodin imprison someone like him? Being a unicorn the same age as Ronodin explained the comments about Ronodin’s mother and the polite dislike. The name Bracken also sounded familiar…

“Oh no,” Kendra said, covering her mouth. It all came together. Bracken was Ronodin’s cousin, the one she was engaged to while secretly seeing Ronodin.

Bracken’s eyebrows raised, “I will admit that’s the first time my name has evoked that reaction. You remember something about me around your mysterious bout of amnesias?”

Kendra wanted to run away again. No wonder Ronodin knew it wasn’t safe for her to leave yet; people from her old life were already tracking her here. Why hadn’t Ronodin told her? Of course, he didn’t tell her, she spent so much time fighting him. Was Ronodin worried she would leave, or demand to leave until she hated him? This was all wrong and not fair, and Kendra didn’t know what to do.

“I’m so sorry for what old me did to you,” Kendra said. “I don’t know why I led you on, I’m sorry.” Kendra put her hand over his, which was suddenly gripping the bars of his cage. “I give you permission to see the truth of my words.”

Bracken closed his eyes, and his forehead creased, “It’s…blank. I can sense your memories for a time, then its just gone. You gave them up, but it is your mind,” he said with disbelief. “You are really Kendra.”

Bracken frowned, “There’s something awful here, dark, but nowhere near strong enough to block your memories. Do you remember any other curses? Or maybe you have a cursed item?”

“Oh, um, I made it today, to protect myself from people who would do me harm? It’s a little new, but it might be what you’re talking about,” Kendra said, pulling out the medallion.

“You did what? Kendra, you don’t make curses. That’s dark magic,” Bracken said, clutching the bars of his cell, “Listen to me closely, whatever you do, stay away from crafting curses. How can you even do that?” Which verified Ronodin’s words. Her crafting had been a secret, he did think she was evil, as was her art. There was just one more thing to check.

“Are you familiar with Mendigo?” Kendra asked.

“Your puppet? Kendra, I feel like you’re not listening to me. Whatever Ronodin said —”

“Does Mendigo only do what I say or not?”

“Well, yes, Mendigo, as I understand it, is keyed into the commands of you and your brother, and whoever you tell him to listen to.” Bracken said. “I don’t see why that’s important. Look, Ronodin is evil, you can’t trust anything he says —”

“What about my family?” Kendra asked, “Do they really imprison dark creatures against their will?”

Bracken’s eyebrows rose, “What? In a manner of speaking they do, because nothing else would have the chance to grow and flourish if we let them out. Demons, the unbound undead, dragons, they would destroy everyone and everything if given a single chance. You helped put so many of them away. They’ve killed your friends and family. It isn’t an unjust prison sentence if that’s what Ronodin told you. They all chose darkness and destruction, or it’s their nature and life sentences over huge tracks of land to roam seem more humane than killing everyone in an effort not to die ourselves. You and your family are the best people I know. Good people. Ronodin is twisting the truth for his own ends if he says differently. You are a good person Kendra, you don’t craft curses. You don’t chose evil, you can’t. It isn’t who you are. Don’t listen to Ronodin’s lies.”

“Ronodin said the exact same thing,” Kendra said sadly, and Bracken went quiet, “Except, he knows something you don’t, something we couldn’t share with either of our families because yours hates him and mine wouldn’t understand. I’ve been enchanting magic objects for a while now. I met up with Ronodin in secret, and fell in love with him. I ordered Mendigo to kidnap me from my home so that we could be together.”

“Wha-no, no, no. That doesn’t make sense,” Bracken said, hurt crashing through those beautiful blue eyes as he drew back. “That can’t be true…I…you let me into your mind a week ago. Please believe me. You met Ronodin for the first time this past week.”

“He’s a little rough,” she defended quietly, looking away, “We’re learning our way around each other again over my memory loss. He hates that we have to stay cooped up, but he knows who I was better than anyone else.”

“That’s a lie,” Bracken insisted, “He doesn’t know anything about you. He doesn’t know that falling rain makes you think of your friend Lena. He doesn’t know that your favorite way to travel through the air is being held by the Dragon Raxtus. He doesn’t know that your cousin Warren would die for you, after seeing you die once already and being unable to stop it. Ronodin knows you less than you know yourself right now. I get that you-you might not be able to believe me right now, but find Seth, find your grandparents, they’ll be scouring the earth for you. They love you so much, and you love them more than anything in return.”

Bracken’s voice was low and sincere. His voice had cracked again, like it had during his song, his tell that the emotion was just too much. So utterly certain he was right. But Kendra didn’t know a Lena or a Raxtus or a Warren. And she couldn’t ask Ronodin about them, because then he would know she went wandering.

Why couldn’t the old Kendra have fallen in love with Bracken instead?

“Why did Ronodin imprison you?” she asked. “Was it…was it because of me? He and Seth mentioned that we were…intended.”

“Oh, um…I mean…That’s not...we’re, um,” Bracken said, flustered. He wasn’t blushing, but unicorn blood was silver, could he blush? Did he sparkle more in the light when blushing? Pooling silver instead of red? “I would have come for you, I swear, but uh, Ronodin got to me first. I’ve been here a week-ish. Hard to tell the days, the guards aren’t regular on feeding us. I’m not sure what he wants to do with me. He was helping overthrow preserves and trying to set dragons on the world to massacre humans, so I was sent to stop him, but he got the jump on me.”

Ronodin would try to negotiate better circumstances for the dragons, and starting them from a place of freedom is something he would do. Keeping Bracken for no reason? That didn’t sound like something he would do. Bracken being sent off to stop his cousin? Bracken looked fit, but she would probably bet on Ronodin in a fight.

What was the truth in all of this? Where was it? Except she knew where it was, locked away with her memories. This was the first time she felt like she needed her memories. Kendra had missed them before, but if what Bracken said was true, then Ronodin was brainwashing her. If what Ronodin said was true, she had purposefully led Bracken to believe the way he did, and she had escaped from the consequences of the harm she caused someone who seemed so honest and sincere. Why couldn’t she just know. Like a normal person.

“Would I give up my memory so my brother wouldn’t have to?” Kendra asked.

His eyes were soft, awkwardness leaving, “In a heartbeat. Seth has suffered much, often by his own folly, much because he was a child in a world too dangerous for someone with his curiosity and kindness. He has trouble knowing who to trust. You supported him, gave him strength, pulled him out of his misery, helped clean up his mistakes, but you wished you could bear some of the burden for him. If given the chance to spare him pain, to keep him from messing up without his memory and creating new guilt, Kendra Sorenson wouldn’t hesitate to give up her memories.”

His hand raised, and she noticed a piece of hair falling in her face, he hesitated just short of her, and then pulled his hand back to the bars.

“Sorenson,” she said, fixing the loose hair on her own, because she’d start crying if she didn’t speak, “Is that my name?”

Bracken nodded, smiling, “Kendra Marie Sorenson. Your first name came from a book your father loved, your middle name is the same as your maternal Grandmother’s middle name.”

“I want to believe you,” Kendra admitted. “But from the things I know for certain, you’re probably a victim of my own lies.”

“You are goodness,” Bracken said simply, “Goodness and light. Ask yourself if what you’re doing feels right, feels good. If it makes you a better person who helps people and creates good things. Don’t listen to Ronodin, don’t craft curses. If you find a moment to escape, take it. Take it and don’t look back. Head to upstate Connecticut, ask for the Sorensons. You’ll find people who can help you.” Bracken tensed, “My jailor is coming, hurry away, don’t stop.”

Kendra rushed to the goblin statue, twisted the head, and hurried back up the hall.

Back in her little apartment, she took off the amulet and held it up. It had felt good crafting it. Honest. Part of who she was before that she had reclaimed. What was true and what was false?

[bang-fantansies]

Sasaeng BTS Profiles: Yoongi Edition

Warning: Heavy mentions/implications of suicide, mentions/implications of overdosing on medication, insomnia, unhealthy behaviour, obsessive behaviour, poor mental health, self-denefse killing, homelessness, nightmares, mention/implications of side-character being drunk, death, blood, gore, destruction of evidence, crime, profanity.

I did my best to include any triggering topics mentioned in this post, but if you see any more potentially sensitive topics I may have missed, please let me know!

This does not represent Bangtan as people or a business, nor does it represent anyone/anything associated with them. This is purely fictional and was made for entertainment purposes only; not to slander anyone or any company.

Mental Stability: 3/10

2:50 AM.

As was the same battle every night, Yoongi lay in bed, the whole world sleeping apart from him. He couldn’t help it, of course - believe me, he would if he could - and this was what made the thoughts in his head run wild.

Each thought had a voice, all unique to their varying degrees of uselessness, yet the message they chanted was identical.

“Sleep! Sleep!” they cried. They’d grown louder over the years as Yoongi’s insomnia worsened, and in spite of their efforts to help their master, they did the complete opposite.

That dream - red and monstrous - drowned out any measure of volume the voices could hope to muster. 

The sound of a man gargling with his own blood made Yoongi feel as if he was suffocating, and more often than not he’d jolt up in bed, forced to replay the events of his early adult years.

Before finding his current residence, Yoongi had been forced onto the streets by unjust circumstances, leading to a great deal of situations he’d rather keep buried beneath the layers of his memory.

One such situation involved another homeless man - drunk, Yoongi had assumed - competing with Yoongi for a bottle of liquor he had scored.

Yoongi’s only use for such a thing was to sell it off and use the money to find a cheap room and a meal. But his opponent had refused to accept such nonsense.

“Such fine wine shouldn’t go to waste!” Yoongi could still hear him say, voice ringing in his ears.

“And it won’t if you just let me pass, you stupid old prick.”

In short, the drunkard had taken Yoongi’s tone very personally and caused his own demise by making a haphazard attempt on the younger’s life, resulting in having the bottle of wine he oh-so desired slammed into the side of his head, shattering and giving Yoongi a sharp enough tool to puncture his throat with. 

Yoongi fled the scene not long after, keeping the remains of the bottle to hand until he could destroy the evidence later on.

Nowadays, while he was far from sleeping rough, he hardly slept at all for fear of his actions whispering cruel and dark remarks into his ear.

As it would for most, this took its toll on Yoongi’s health; physical, emotional, and mental.

The pressure had proven to be too much for him to handle, and on this night, he had decided he’d had enough.

On his computer desk stood a bottle, a proud shade of orange with its contents revealed in a cluster of black ink, made to resemble actual handwriting, written across a label stuck to its front - the only semblance of privacy Yoongi was allowed. Its white cap was ajar, and though no scent came from within, Yoongi could practically smell the prescription enticing him to a snack.

And under normal circumstances, he would have declined as he had many a time before. 

But these were no longer normal circumstances.

Yoongi rose from beneath the bed sheets, any semblance of humanity he’s once held having burnt out alongside his will to continue.

He knew what it meant to live - to love the act of being human - but he was no longer human. He most similarly resembled a shell; cold, hollow, and filled with the shadows of his own mind.

And so he had made his decision. Despite his lethargy shackling him to the bed, he made a reach for the bottle, popping off the cap and peering inside.

A glass of water sat on his bedside table, bubbles sticking to the water-covered walls as a result of disuse.

Yoongi counted the pills, assuming that the amount he was left with would be enough.

At this point, he figured that if he was to find no rest in life, he would surely find it in whatever lay beyond his broken, mortal body.

In these last moments, Yoongi granted himself his last comfort.

He brought his laptop beside him and searched his favourite artist on YouTube.

He only had a few artists in his arsenal that he could dispense at family dinners or reunions he’d been invited to.

he never was an adept conversationalist: even at friends’ parties where a guest he didn’t know would be obligated to talk to him on account of appeasing the birthday girl or boy.

For a second, Yoongi faltered.

His mind backtracked to the joy he’d felt with his friends, and in turn the joy he had granted them.

Was he really going through with this...?

A stab of doubt was all it would take to make Yoongi withdraw from his initial intentions, and he cut the tie with said doubt immediately, pushing his friends to the back of his mind.

He was exhausted - tired of helping and appealing to others; now it was time to take care of himself.

From the tiny speaker in his laptop came the sound of solace: his favourite track from his idol.

He lay back, pill bottle and water placed on his bedside table as he basked in his last melody.

Through the duration of the song, Yoongi’s unease had worn away - eroded by the tides of his own resolution.

The song eventually clambered to a fading finish. Yoongi knew what came next.

He sat up and tipped the contents of the bottle onto the table, a hill of oddly-coloured tablets forming.

He threw the bottle somewhere behind him, hearing it land in a hidden corner of the room.

Pale hands scooped the pills up like candy, bringing them to Yoongi’s lips.

And like a saving grace emerging through a storm, a miracle unfolded.

A soft sound played beside him; the sound of angel wings and promises of a better future.

Yoongi didn’t so much as falter as he did pause, lending his ear to the tune.

It played notes from an instrument Yoongi didn’t even think existed - a soft twinkling stalked by a voice he had yet to have heard on his musical voyages through Soundcloud and YouTube.

For a second - just a second - the doubt that had made such a ruckus to enter had now slithered through the back door of Yoongi’s mind.

What was this music?

Reluctant, he lowered his hand to his side, though held tightly on to the pills.

Turning the screen to face him, he came face-to-face with someone other than his idol.

Her eyes looked a soft shade of (e/c) in the no-doubt filtered lighting of the video, though the sincerity she held within them was far from fabricated.

The background was crystalline - faux crystal props - oversized and oversaturated. They were littered around the studio in which the woman sang, and beneath a purple hue she sat on a stool, an air of comfort radiating from her.

As to what she was singing, Yoongi had no idea.

He let the music play for a moment, considering his options.

What harm would it do him to listen to something new? It wasn’t as if he’d be able to after he was gone, anyway.

Lying back down, Yoongi stared at the ceiling, the lack of light or patterns making it easier for him to focus solely on the music.

His fatigue embraced him like a long-lost mother, shrouding him in a warmth unmatched by that of any real person.

The singer’s soft humming filled the desolate room. And if Yoongi wasn’t mistaken, he could feel his eyelids growing heavy.

He forced a bitter smile, doubtful that his mind would actually allow him any such solace as sleep.

To humour his weary self one last time, Yoongi shut his eyes, sighing deeply and sinking into the mattress.

*

The next time Yoongi opened his eyes, his room was still dark. And as if it had never left to begin with, his bitter smile returned.

I knew it, he thought. Though the victory of beating his already hell-level expectations filled his overflowing spirit with grief, disguised and diluted by the anger that had slipped into the mix so long ago.

Sitting up, Yoongi lent his ear to the room once more.

He could hear the soft hum of the woman’s song no longer, and it was in this second that he realised he didn’t remember actually hearing the song end.

It was on one minute, and off the next.

Suspicious, Yoongi glanced at his half-lidded laptop, faced with a blackened screen as the device had switched itself off.

With a push of the power button, the power returned, and in a blast of light the screen sprung to life.

Through the tips of his fringe, Yoongi checked the time.

11:15 AM.

He recoiled.

That couldn’t be right - surely.

Logging in, he noted how his battery was running low, despite having been fully charged before he lay down.

The screen gave way to the last application he’s been using, and clear as day the same starry-eyed woman with the voice of velvet was on-screen, though the video she was in had long since ended.

Yoongi checked the time again, pulling his fringe back so as not to trick himself a second time.

11:16 stared back at him, steadfast and unwavering in its absolution.

Yoongi’s eyebrows raised in a sense of alarm.

He rose from the bed, tearing his curtains open.

A cityscape greeted him, and the sun waved from its fixture in the sky. It was daytime.

Yoongi stumbled back, carding a hand through his hair.

There was absolutely no way he’d-

...Had he actually managed to get to sleep?

Yoongi checked his phone, watch, and alarm clock; no-one dared deceive him of date nor time.

He was willing (and already considering) to accept the idea that he’d time-traveled; the concept of having a decent night’s sleep was as foreign as a language to him.

Nevertheless, he hadn’t the time to dawdle in such a concept, though he made absolute certain to when he was at work.

*

His colleagues seemed to notice a change in Yoongi’s behaviour.

Though he was often dazed into bouts of silence by his exhaustion, this quietude was new. Different.

A few co-workers commented on how he looked much livelier. And more alive, he felt.

In spite of this, the constant what-ifs of the morning had followed him - clung to him like a cologne.

What if...what if he was actually dead?

He considered this, deciding against his theory.

If he was dead and this was indeed Heaven, he should be receiving a lot more good fortune for all the shit he had to deal with in his life.

No, this was neither Hesven nor Hell. Or Purgatory.

Yoongi also considered that he was in a coma, but that didn’t add up, either.

He tested to see if he was comatose. Nothing.

He was still trapped in his same-old reality. But at least he could think clearly now.

*

By the time he got home, his body yearned for the sweet release of music, and he sought the comfort of his favourite artist - as he usually did on days as long as this.

Shoving his bedroom door open, he grumbled at the brightness the room held for a change.

He’d forgotten to shut his curtains before he left.

In the dwindling light of the afternoon sun, he saw the pills scattered across his duvet, the sole remnants of his almost-actions.

He cringed, forcing them to the back of his mind.

He could acknowledge the gravity of his decision later. Right now, his head was filled with the phantom melodies longing for a vessel.

Yoongi has attained the good sense to charge his laptop, and as he switched it on, he was greeted with the same lady who had pulled him to sleep the night before.

Or, Yoongi supposed, who had just happened to be playing on the night he was finally able to sleep without the nightmare scaring him awake.

Such wonderment remained at the back of his mind as he went about his business.

Through his own music, the whisper of the lady’s tune plagued him. So much so that, after a good three hours of composing, Yoongi found himself eyeing the tab he’d left open from before.

Having returned home from work later, his body was weighted with the day’s contrivances and stresses, as well as its successes and joys.

Emotionally, Yoongi had given all he had to offer, which, if he was to admit it to himself, was far more than he usually did.

He considered that it was more than likely it wasn’t just the song that had sent him to sleep.

On the contrary, he believed that a multitude of factors had to have been at play in such a miracle.

He wished to replicate the conditions of the night before: he kept his room dark and a glass of water on his bedside. He packed his pills away and placed them on his bedside, too, taking care not to lose any in case their service was required again.

He set the woman’s song up, lying in bed and playing it.

The creeping horror of the notion of never obtaining such a quality of sleep again was the only odd variable in this equation, and though it quietly consumed Yoongi’s thoughts, the hum of the song muffled it.

The song was no longer than 4 minutes, though the eternity that stretched between Yoongi and his voyage to the fabled land of dreams made it impossible to tell how long it had been.

He was not yet familiar enough with the song to place a time on the segment he was experiencing.

His concerns faded as he simply let himself be.

If it works, it works, he told himself.

The next thing Yoongi remembered was hearing a bird chirping nearby his window.

He cracked an eye open.

Much like the night before, his room remained in a state of quiet disarray, though only noticeable to the trained eye.

His laptop lay near his side, screen dark and lifeless.

Yoongi checked through a crack in the curtains. And sure as anything, the sun had risen once again.

*

Over the next couple of weeks, Yoongi researched the song, its creator, and whether it was really the secret to staving off his insomnia.

He had discovered that the creator’s name was (Y/N) - a popular artist who had fans far and wide, as well as domestically.

He found more of her particular songs - the ones that she hummed.

He tested both the original and these humming bird songs (as he called them), and to his delight, the humming birds worked.

Yoongi would go to sleep and wake up at reasonable times, rather than the odd dips in and out of consciousness he would try to induce on his own terms.

It was just your music that soothed him so, and from the day he uncovered this, he vowed to be your loyal follower.

Though, with any influential fan can blossom obsession, and as Yoongi became ever more eneamoured with your gossamer vocals, he feared the day that your songs would no longer support his sleep.

Or, God forbid, you stopped singing.

He often fretted over such a premature worry, though he couldn’t deny how it had all but devoured his thoughts.

Months into his expedition into your music, he decided to finally take action to ensure that your voice would never die - never fade with age, accident or abuse.

No, he would preserve it like the fine wine he had failed to so many years ago - to be sipped and savoured for eternities to come.

Sasaeng Masterlist

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Part Seven - Investigation)

Prologue 1. Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 2. Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 3. Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 4. Arrival - Bit 1 | Bit 2 5. Orientation 6. Rescue Site 7. Investigation

Here we are again with the next three thousand odd words of this fic.

Many thanks as always to @vegetacide​ @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ @janetm74​ and my wonderful science officer @onereyofstarlight​ (who spent yet more time tackling my odd questions in the last week :D). You guys are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for all your amazing readthroughs and support.

You guys totally spoilt me last week so I hope this week delivers some entertainment. ::hugs you all so much:: Thank you so much for your amazing support.

Warnings: minor whump, far too much indulgence in scenery on my part because I’m having too much fun.

I hope you enjoy this.

-o-o-o-

Alan was sent back with Gordon and one of the dragonflies, while Virgil and Scott scouted back along the tunnel for a high enough point that either a molepod or Thunderbird Three could drill down deep enough to give them easy access for Thunderbird Four.

They found it in one of the larger caverns about a kilometre back from the Crystal Cave as they had come to call it.

Having seen so much crystal in one spot, Virgil now found himself spotting more and more of it along the tunnels. On first glance he had assumed most of the sparkles in the walls were patches of ice – there was certainly enough of the stuff around to cater to the concept. But on closer examination, there were crystals of all sizes and colours dotted along their return path.

In the dry cavern there were even more. Not anywhere near as many as in the crystal cave, but enough that Virgil pulled over, climbed out and collected a couple of specimens for later examination. John definitely wanted in on that analysis. He was still hunting for the source of the interference and was at this point reaching for every straw he could grab.

But first they had lives to save.

The roof of the Dry Cavern, as it was dubbed for convenience’s sake, had a number of large crystalline formations and there was a plea from the Base’s scientific staff to avoid as much damage as possible.

As if Virgil needed that reminder. He wasn’t one for blatant destruction of anything, but in this case as he planted the homing beacon for Three, he realised they were going to lose at least one beautiful structure in the process. So, it was with some sadness, he flipped the dragonfly and attached it to the rock ceiling of Dry Cavern and attempted to uproot a crystal tree as tall and as wide as himself to take back to the base.

With the application of a laser cutter, it came away surprisingly easily and with minimal damage. The dragonfly’s two front claws held it as delicately as they could. Carefully flipping the pod back upright, Virgil lowered it down to land and clambered out to secure the crystal.

Halfway out of the pod his vision doubled and he slipped.

Callisto’s gravity was almost nothing in comparison to Earth’s but the laws of physics still held strong and without atmospheric density to slow him down in any way, his momentum threw him at the rocky floor with enough force to cause him to bounce with a painful squawk. Previously obtained bruises complained and his head throbbed enough to turn his stomach over.

He ended up on the ground, on his side, doing his best not to puke all over the inside of his helmet, his only thought being how bad things would be if he failed.

“Virgil!” Scott was suddenly beside him, hand on his arm and the ever so familiar worry in his eyes.

Virgil swallowed and attempted to keep his stomach under control while his head screamed at him.

God.

But as before, it dissipated suddenly and Virgil was left panting and wondering what the hell was going on.

What the hell had the T- Drive done to him?

“Talk to me, Virgil. What happened?”

“Was dizzy for a second. Sorry.” He waved Scott’s hand away and sat up slowly. Everything stayed stable and sane.

God, he was tired. “I’m good. Just need some rack time.”

Scott glared at him. “I’ve seen you tired. You’ve never fallen off a pod before.”

“It’s the gravity, or the lack of it. It’s throwing me off.” He pushed himself to his feet.

But he knew what was coming next.

“I’m flying. Get in the back.”

“Scott-“

“Now.”

Virgil growled at him. “I’m going to secure the crystals first. We need to get these back to base in one piece.” And he did, Scott at his elbow the entire time. The man knew how to hover.

Once that was complete, Scott marched him to the backseat and made sure he climbed in safely…like he was a little kid or something.

Damnit.

But the moment he let himself relax, his whole body made it very clear that rest was a good thing. Scott’s flying skills kept the dragonfly consistently level and despite himself, Virgil dozed in and out a good percentage of the way back to base.

Despite the headache.

Of course, all of it resulted in a blowout with both Scott and his father.

“I’m fine!”

“You fell!”

“I slipped. It happens you know. I’ve rested. I’m fine. Now can we get moving? I need to be out there to assist with Four.”

Scott opened his mouth to no doubt confine him to the base with their father and Uncle Lee.

“Virgil, you will undergo an examination by the Base medics before you do anything.” Dad’s voice held that strength of command that Scott had so inherited.

He opened his mouth to rebut.

“Now, Virgil, or I will send Lee out in your stead. You don’t mess around out here. You know that.”

Virgil flicked his glance to the engineer his father had relied on for years, who had actually worked with International Rescue early on.

Goddamnit!

“Fine! But there is nothing wrong with me.”

“Then prove it.” Scott was glaring at him, blue eyes on fire and standing strong beside their father.

Well, at least they were working together, even if it was a combined front against him.

Three had already left, so they had to rely on a Base medic. Fortunately, she agreed with Virgil. Tension headache, the voyage out there and lack of sleep was all they could come up with and since he had snoozed in the pod and his skill set was seriously needed, Scott grudgingly gave him clearance.

Virgil so did not have time for this.

-o-o-o-

Alan slipped into Three’s pilot seat with a sigh. There was something about his ‘bird that was just comforting. Familiarity, probably, but also the knowledge that he had the power to get home under his very fingertips. Pods were great and all, but Alan preferred the power of ion engines and the strength of his ‘bird’s hull.

Gordon in the co-pilot’s seat wasn’t the norm, however.

“Okay, let’s get this ‘bird off the ground.”

Alan glared at him, but poked his comms. “Callisto Base, requesting departure for local foray as filed.”

“Thunderbird Three, you have clearance. Safe journey.”

Journey? He wouldn’t call it a journey. More a nick out the back door to grab takeout, if anything.

Great, now he was hungry for pizza and the nearest pizza joint was a bazillion miles away.

So gonna have a pizza night when they got home.

“FAB, Callisto Base.”

The airlock doors above began their ponderous opening sequence like something directly out of an old sci-fi flick. All that was missing was the cinematic music.

Firing Three’s engines was like breathing again after being stifled for a long time. She lifted, rising slowly into the airlock, her length proof that everything the Base owned was smaller. He only had a handful of metres to play with at either end and he was pretty sure he was scorching their inner door.

Nonetheless, they waited and the outer doors slid open revealing Jupiter once again in all her glory.

Alan eased her out slowly making sure she was fully in the clear before tilting her towards the north and, with a twitch of a thruster, throwing her across the jagged landscape.

The moon surface was craters on craters on craters. The Asgard formation rippled outwards in all directions creating rings of hills, stark greys and silvers against the deep of the black sky. Burr Crater was a splash of bright reflected sunlight glaring enough for the filters on the windows to react and protect their eyesight.

Alan brought up the holoprojection showing exactly where Virgil wanted him to drill.

Another flick of a wrist and Three pivoted on her nose, extended her arms, and settled gently onto the surface of the moon.

“Thunderbird One, Thunderbird Three is in position.”

Comms crackled and Alan frowned.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

State the obvious, Gordon. “Thunderbird One, do you read?”

“We hear you, Thunderbird Three. Dragonfly Pod Two en route to rendezvous.” Scott’s voice cut out and Virgil’s took over. “Gordon, deploy Thunderbird Four. Crane her to the surface. Alan we will need to assemble a large gauge molepod complete with vacuum extraction, as we discussed. We’re about fifteen minutes out.”

“FAB, Dragonfly Two.” The line cut out and Alan turned to his co-pilot. “Okay, Gords, your turn.”

His brother’s face split into a grin. “See you in the sky.”

Alan groaned. “Never gonna hear the end of this, am I?”

“Nope, no time soon. Thunderbird Four is going to fly. No more being dragged around by her sisters. Gonna get her some VTOL.”

Alan clambered out of his seat and half floated, half fell to the back of the cabin. Partial gravity was always odd. “Hoverjets, Gords.”

“Tomayto, tomato, squirt. My ‘bird is gonna fly.”

“In micro-gravity.”

“I’m taking what I can get.”

Alan rolled his eyes. Insufferable.

What followed was Three craning out Four through the cargo bay doors and gently lowering her to the icy surface of the moon.

This time, instead of sleds, Brains had attached hoverjets to the body of Gordon’s submarine. Personally, Alan thought she looked like she had a really bad case of acne, her usually smooth lines interrupted by pustules that spat blue ‘fire’.

Gordon apparently couldn’t stop grinning.

Of course, that all changed once Scott and Virgil arrived on scene. Virgil was unusually curt and Scott was hovering just enough to alert Alan that something wasn’t right.

A quick check with John revealed that Virgil wasn’t feeling well and that Scott wanted him off the mission, but Virgil refused.

That just set Alan off. It was always worrisome when an older brother wasn’t right, and considering all his brothers were older, it happened far more often than Alan liked.

So it was with worried eyes that Alan watched Virgil and Scott deploy the molepod.

The plan was for Three to dig down as far as she could - which was a decent distance, if Alan could say so himself, and then lower the extra-large molepod into the hole so Virgil could complete the tunnel to break through into the cave network below.

They were far enough away from the Crystal Cave, as it was now called, to hopefully leave it unaffected by all these excavations.

Gordon was to follow them in Hoversub Number Four - apparently his fish brother was still working on the new name - navigate to the Cave and revert to Four’s original purpose of being a submarine.

Three’s drill was an oddity for a space craft, but an oddity that had saved Alan’s bacon so many times.

The thought immediately prompted hunger pangs. Bacon.

Maybe he should shove a snack down his throat.

“Alan, start drilling.” Virgil’s sharp voice on comms snapped him out of it.

If Three deployed her drill rather abruptly at that, Alan felt he wasn’t to blame.

Fortunately, she performed with her usual ease and brilliance, creating a massive hole in the side of the moon and a cloud of debris to match, rock and ice thrown up in glittering haze.

God, space was beautiful sometimes.

Once Three had gone as deep as she could, Alan shifted her to one side and acted as a crane to lower Virgil and Scott in the molepod down into the newly created tunnel.

A suspended moment and the billowing dust resumed.

“Hey, Gords, is Virgil okay?” He couldn’t help it. He was worried.

“He’s okay, Allie. Just some leftovers from the ride out here.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Don’t mention it. I don’t want to think about it.”

“Sorry.” It was raining glitter in slow motion.

“How you didn’t notice, I have no idea.”

Gordon was in Four and Alan in Three, but Alan shrugged anyway. “Dunno?” But he was distracted by the holographic image of his two eldest brothers gnawing through rock far below. Almost there. Thank goodness, Three’s grapple was almost at its full extent.

“Thunderbird Three, get ready to reel us in.” Scott’s voice was tight.

Far below the mole broke through into the cavern and began to fall in the ponderous gravity. Alan yanked a lever and pulled the cable tight, catching the pod in a pendulous dangle. “Gotcha.”

“Hold it, Thunderbird Three.” Virgil’s voice was even tighter than Scott’s and Alan wondered if the pod swinging was messing with him. A moment. “Okay, retract slightly.”

Alan did so and the pendulum slowed and eventually his brother gave the go ahead to fully haul them out of that hole.

-o-o-o-

Virgil was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with him. Digging the hole had been simple, but the moment they burst through into the cavern, his stomach tried to invert itself. It had taken everything he had to keep his insides on the inside.

But then it disappeared again! Leaving the goddamned headache that just refused to go away and was currently pounding through his head to the tune of his heartbeat.

Maybe Scott was right. Maybe there was something seriously wrong.

But he had a job to do.

Thunderbird Four was literally bouncing on the spot by the time the Mole resurfaced dangling from Three’s grapple. Virgil had piloted the pod simply because it was his speciality. Scott had accompanied him because he was worried, but he let him drive.

Such was not the case with the Dragonfly. Virgil was clearly demoted via a pair of determined eyes and exiled to the backseat.

Fine.

It gave him a chance to examine the sensor readings of the rock they had burrowed through on the way down. It was a thoroughly fascinating combination of ice and minerals, silicon in particular.

Thunderbird Four lifted smoothly off the glistening moon surface and with a very unprofessional ‘Yahoo’ slid into the entrance of their new tunnel and disappeared.

Scott was only a second behind.

Four bounced like a rubber ball off the walls, darting around the corners so nimble, Scott had to ask their fish brother to damn well slow down.

Which was just as well, because before they knew it, both Four and the Dragonfly emerged into the cavern, Four in ponderous freefall until the hoverjets could catch on the floor.

“That was awesome! Can I keep the jets, Virg? Please?” An Olympic gold medal, a WASP career and vast experience as an IR operative, and Gordon was still a kid at the candy store begging for his favourite lolly.

“Not important right now, Thunderbird Four.” Commander Tracy’s tone was sharp.

“Just asking!” But below them the bright yellow submarine had obviously latched onto the comms beacon and was moving towards the tunnel leading to the Crystal Cave.

Scott followed as closely as practical and it wasn’t long before both Four and the Dragonfly were sitting on the beach staring at the lake.

Scott and Virgil climbed out of the pod, its lights streaking twin beams across the water and lighting up the crystal walls and glass lake. Gordon hovered at the edge.

“You okay, Thunderbird Four?” Virgil was frowning.

“Pretty fine and dandy, if I may say so myself. Gonna go hover myself out into the depths I think.” His tone while flippant, was distracted. “Scans are reading a hell of a lot of that quartz and I’d rather not test Four’s hull unless I absolutely have to.” There was a grunt. “As it is, that water isn’t just water. I’m going to be cleaning my girl for week after this. It’s mineral soup.”

“Is it a concern? Did you want to abort?” Scott was predictably concerned.

“No, no. She can handle it. I may just need to rope a bro or two into maintenance.” There was a snort that no doubt would be accompanying a grin.

Virg was tired and there were people needing rescue. “Move your ass, Gordon.”

That earned him another worried set of blue eyes. But Virgil was over it and just needed to get this job done.

“FAB, Thunderbird Two.” Four started moving forward, her jets rippling the glass of the water.

Gordon hovered a fair distance out into the middle of the lake before gradually shutting down the hoverjets, letting the sub dip below the surface.

A single breath and she was gone, only circles on circles of steadily spreading ripples remained.

It was damned eerie.

Scott looked like he wanted to climb into the water after their brother.

“Wow, guys, it is amazing down here.” Typical Gordon.

Virgil would have loved to rub his temples.

“Sending visuals to Five. Johnny, you receiving?”

“Affirmative, Thunderbird Four, though I am encountering some interference. Eos, can you clear that up?”

“Guys, I’m getting some temperature variances down here.”

Scott shifted where he stood, his space suit flexing over taught muscles. “Clarify, Thunderbird Four.”

“It’s getting hotter. Not by much, but a definite increase in temperature as I go deeper.” A thoughtful mutter. “This is deeper than it appears, Scott. Readings are fluctuating. What was a hundred metres is now closer to six hundred. Damn, there’s another temperature spike!”

“Thunderbird Four, interference is increasing.” John’s voice crackled as if for emphasis. “We can’t clear it.”

Scott flicked on his wrist display, the two lifesigns pulsing under the icon of Thunderbird Four. “Do you see anything, Gordon? Any sign of what we are facing?”

Gordon muttered something that was drenched in static. “Crystal…temp..ture…rising…” The signal ended in a hiss of static that hurt Virgil’s ears.

Scott’s voice was decision sharp. “Thunderbird Four, abort mission. Return to shore.”

“Sc-“ But the signal cut out completely.

Shit!

The rock under Virgil’s feet trembled. What the-?

Ripples vibrated across the lake.

“Gordon, do you read?!”

“Thunderbird One!” John’s voice had an edge of alarm. “Registering seismic movement in your vicinity!”

“Gordon!”

“Guys! Get out of there! Now!”

“Gordon!”

Virgil grabbed Scott as a shadow grew out of the darkness and into the twin beams of light.

Oh, hell!

“Scott! Move!”

The lake had swelled into a wave, a crest rushing at the shore they were standing on.

Virgil grabbed his brother, turned and ran for the pod.

His fingertips brushed cahelium as the wave hit. Virgil was lifted off his feet, Scott was torn from his grip and he was tumbling.

A sharp pain.

And…

Nothing.

-o-o-o-

Next

[noeyeye]

Back to the job trail again! Thailand in 2020 and how I survive the discrimination?

So I took it long a while to stick with one place in 2020 after going back working from the south of my country (Thailand) where the hotel business used to be blooming in the past. I didn’t graduate with hotel tourism degree but I found it much likely to suit for my skills and personality. I remembered how I use to post a blog somewhere or in here about job applying past few years ago and now I’m back to this way again to just to find a happy and comfortable place to work and grown in my career.

Thailand is absolutely remembered by people the rest of the world to be a place that is very friendly for LGBTIQ community because there are lots of people like us here and living normally in the cities and towns. Sadly the reality is very different but takes long time to get better and more accepting for LGBT community and surprisingly not much the same of each community will gain more respect or acceptance in the sam level per year, compared to gay community, lesbian community, bi and pan sexual. Transgender community here is in the down low list after Queen or intersex and other gender like fluid gender or others.

Why? because in my opinion , if you were a gay person or lesbian, still some of you didn’t go change much in appearance, some just remains like the birth gender like gay man who dresses normally like a man or a lesbian who properly dresses like a normal woman. Unlike transgender people or other genders that got themselves into transitioning or changing or blending the gender as they express their identity and personality (very much complicated)

The point of how transgender people in general or who is like us like this will have a high chance to get rejected in some way when it comes to job application (unless you are super skilled and talented and unique so they will want you because your skills is high wanted as the physical isn’t the big issue to pay attention for HR or CEO or people who is involved in employee seeking). But it gets better nowadays in some country I understand. But if you count how many country that has rule to stop gender discrimination, it’s still in very few in the list. Of course, my country has some ACTS about it to protect us from discrimination but not much likely to be applied on every company as some do it low key to reject a job candidate. I was one of them who got rejected with one big organization in education in our country. Got me came and joined all interviews more than 3 times for example and asked me if I just dress like a man, cut my hair and only use the disability bathroom only etc. 

With other issue like the beginning of our name on ID card that got me no chance to change from MR to MS because actually it’s the big part I cannot apply for a job with specifically request like Female ONLY or some other thing etc. I can apply but you know that appears on my Identity Document is MR XXXX XXXXXX and that’s a struggle. 

Nowadays, lots of LGBTIQ movement here is still going but a little bit distracted by democratic protest FREE YOUTH in my country to give the pressure of the military government to leave the position and choose who people choose. So now in 2020, lots of democratic mobs are everywhere (Haha I joined them to because I really cannot stand the horrible team of government now). So now the Equality Marriage and Trans changing the title name act is now on the pause. Well I’m living in the time where we all new generation keeps on fighting for our future, LGBT is getting more accepting but still fighting and Trump or Kim Jung En whatever but back to my job trailing in 2020.

Still very challanging  to get a job in 2020 and pandemic but still keep trying, the world in 2020 in my country is way more open but now it’s condition for other genders and isn’t from Binary like male and female, is like that when you’re LGBTIQ, you have to have more talents to break the discriminating walls with other people, it’s not fair but that how we got accepted and respect and get a job. But I hope in future the society start to give us more opportunities for starting a career to live for our life and survive, beyond the discrimination, hatred and binary.

I just got to another interview today in my town after 2 months and 1 month serious on tour for interview, switching between Bangkok and outside the city. I think if any place will want me to work, they just got to accept my identity obviously. And I just think that never mind to get rejected by some place because that’s how we show their concept of their organization. I didn’t want to work in a toxic place with hatred either. So if they don’t want me, it’s okay’ If they want me, be appreciated and do my best and happy.

I just felt like I need to write this, so please don’t be offended for using this space to vent out as I would like to encourage other girls around here , I know we all have different struggles and problems but I will tell you this world isn’t fair but we can choose to be happy with our one life as possible, much or less. Keep on trying, I’m sure I will worth someway as I believe it too , I’m always trying :)

[butterfly-winx]

Can you tells us about aspects? What does medimagic say about them, are they developed or are u born with them? Can they change over time or with impactfil events? How do more conceptual aspects work? How much can u stretch the definition of your aspect and how do people figure out what the actual definition of their aspect is?

1. Aspects are named so because they describe the Aspect of the Universe a person is most attached to, so that the magic they express primarily comes through the aspect as an outlet.

2. What medimagic has to say about aspects is purely on the genetics basis, in that we know aspect affinity can be inherited to some extent. Powerful magic users will sire children of similar aspects. Within a realm itself, aspects usually follow some natural or cultural inclination.

But here is where it gets very nature vs nurture. Because you could adopt a Zenithian child born of the common gene pool onto say Lynphea, and the child would more likely than not adopt a nature based aspect over a conceptual one, simply because of how it has been raised, because of how close the Lynphean way of life is linked to respecting nature. As aspects and magic in general develop with the conscious mind, though genes certainly do have an inarguable impact, it is the culture and its values that surround the child in their most important developmental stage that shape the picture of their soul so to speak and determine what Aspect of the Universe they forge an especially deep connection to. 

3. Aspects are known to change following maturation or profusely impactful events in one’s life. This also covers all sorts of trauma that influence one’s ability to connect with the Flow. (I wrote about Musa’s magic disappearing briefly when her mother died while she worked through the grief). Aspects can’t change from the ground up, as they are once again tied to the conscious mind. So as a person can’t fundamentally change from the ground up, but mature and change as a response to stress and trauma, so can their aspect meld and change forms over time.

In most cases this means a shift in the specific micro-expressions of an aspect. Eg say Layla was more prone to phase manipulation and water telekinesis before, the Tritannus drama in her family changed her and now she is more attuned to intermolecular physics of water and uses morphix more for binding and healing instead of object creation.

Or it could be more drastic, like Griffin whose aspect was seismology prior to being taught aspect transcending magic by the Ancestresses and in the wake of her desertion of the witchcraft masters her aspect completely shifted to blood and bone (aka somatic medimagic, but not quite), reflecting both the work she was doing for the Ancestresses and her shift in personality. In her case this would have taken a decade to truly manifest and she was taught aspect transcending magic to begin with that made it more possible.

5. They figure it out by very long trial and error. As I said in the discovering magic in children post, you can tell what someone’s baseline aspect direction is. Magic using elders in the community then draw educated guesses based on recorded aspects of the child’s family and the surrounding community. The child then grows, undergoes formal magic training and the definition gets tightened. It is not the purpose of the aspect definition to limit the child, and there is certainly no need to stretch it, because a definition itself should be tailored to the individual and only noted down on record formally when the magic user person is certain that the description fits. 

(However it is the case that knowing a cardinal aspect direction early on in formal education can influence teachers to shoehorn their students into boxes a bit, therefore sometimes limiting the natural magic expression of a child into a pre-discovered category. In these cases, only those people who really actively use their magic notice the mismatch later in life and re-register with a better definition.)

4. Conceptual aspects are incredibly broad and though rarely ever express themselves with as strongly combative application as elemental based aspects, are thought to be the overall more powerful one of the two. Concepts are only limited by how a society, or person, defines them, so they can be argued about a lot. It is also often occurring that two people record the same concept as their aspect, but use it in completely different ways, which rarely ever happens with elemental aspects. Their definitions are extremely tight and tailored to the person. Conceptual aspects are, like a feeling you know? You can never attach a very definitive description to them as they might mean something different for everyone experiencing it.

They are also prone to change much more readily than elemental aspects. I wrote a mini rant about how I believe Techna’s aspect of technology extends over all human discovered methods of “technology”, not just electronics. Put into a society whose height of technology is different from theirs, Techna could absorb that knowledge for the duration of their stay and use it. Their spells in this case would be different, adapted to the new knowledge base. So yes, conceptual aspects can be “stretched” much more. Think of concpetuals as the humanities and elementals as the sciences.

-

Bonus: some of the Winx’s aspect categories:

Stella: Elemental - Cosmic bodies - Fairy of Shining objects related to planets

Musa: Abstract  - Man-made concepts - Sounds - Fairy of Harmonic Music (Sound as a category exists in the elemental category as well, but music itself is a man-made thing)

Layla: Elemental - Water - Movement association - Tidal forces - Fairy of the molecular bond holding tension in the water forming waves

Icy: Elemental - Water - Phase association - Solid - Witch of Ice structures

Flora: Elemental - Nature - Land association - Flora - Fairy of growth of plant matter

Roxy: Elemental - Nature - Land association - Fauna - Fairy of land-dwelling animals (To compare users under the same cardinal aspect)

Plus I put down Techna under Abstract - Man made-trades at first, but now I’m no longer sure if technology truly counts as a trade or is a concept instead.