#i have spent too much time on this at this point

[lumibuns-blog]

Can’t stop thinking about how much Simon “Ghost” Riley loves his American girlfriend.

Unlike the other 141 boys he wouldn’t poke fun at you or tease you about the different words you use. Kyle loves to correct you,

“Whens the soccer game on tonight?”

“Its football love, not soccer, ‘cause you kick the ball.”

“You kick the ball in American football as well.”

“Yeah but...ours is better”

Johnny’s a tease

“Have you seen my swimming suit?”

“You wear a suit to go swimming?”

“I’m not calling it a costume”

“Well it sure as hell isn’t a bloody suit”

Even Price gets in on it by pretending not to hear you,

“Can you grab some chips from the kitchen?”

“Hm? Sorry dear can’t hear ya’”

“Grab me some chips!”

“Gunna’ have'ta repeat that”

“....crisps”

“There ya’ go, really outta speak up more sweetheart”

Never mind the fact he was right beside you on the couch.

But Simon, Simon is different. Never once has he corrected or teased you, to the point where its become a bit of a hindrance.

“Can you stop by the gas station on your way home?”

And he’ll just stare at you, an almost blank expression on his face, only the fidgeting of his fingers give way to what he’s thinking.

“The petrol shop Si’”

“Right.” 

Is it because he doesn’t care? Or maybe he’s too frightened he’ll scare you away if he corrects you? Whatever it is he’ll never say, but one thing is for certain, he’s absolutely elated when you start to pick up the British dialect.

You tell people your boyfriend is a leftenant instead of a luitenant and he’s looking at you like you hung the very stars in the sky.

Ask for a “wife beater” while pointing at the bottles of Stella Artois in his fridge and he swears his heart just skipped a beat (despite the crude connotations of the nickname)

Ask him to pick up ‘Maccies for you bolth on the way home and he almost causes a 20 car pileup because he has to hide his burning face.

Tell him you like the black jumper he’s wearing and theres three more in the online cart already.

And when you start swearing like a “proper brit” he’s ready to get down on one knee. He hears you mutter “bloody hell” from across the flat as you listen to news report an expected  10cm of rain for today and for the first time in his life he’s thanking god Manchester is such a dreary place.

You’ve become part of his life, he hadn’t scared you off, you hadn’t gotten tired of him. You wanted to be here, you wanted him. You’ve been here long enough to pick it up, you’ve spent enough time together even your words are beginning to match each other, and theres nothing in the world that could make him happier. So he’ll never once correct you or tease you when you ask to go on a vacation even if he’s blindly nodding along to your requests and scurrying off to the bathroom later to look it up and figure out you wanted to go on holiday with him. Cursing under his breath while he fishes his phone from the sink because he dropped it in his shock at the revelation you wanted to go on holiday with him. Give him two days and he’s already bought the tickets

This is my post originally and I got it backkkk YIPEEEE

[pureomi]

˚୨୧⋆｡🍓˚ darry rings - are limited to one per lifetime, emphasizing that love should be exclusive and irreplaceable. true love verification ensures each customer can only buy one ring.

includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 0.9k wc. fluff hehe

you are unable to believe the outrageous actions of your boyfriend. this time, his doings were diabolical to the point of no return. “get out!”

you push itoshi sae out the door in a fit of frustration. his sigh is so loud, it feels like it’s echoing in your head, only making your irritation worse.

“this is my bedroom,” he deadpans, as if stating the obvious will reverse his sudden eviction. it doesn’t work. you’re already diving into the duvets with a determined scowl.

“what are you even doing?” he asks, his tone tipping into annoyance. he narrows his eyes when you march a little closer and throw his pillow into his arms.

“you’re sleeping on the couch,” you declare, voice firm, matching his now sour expression. “and actually, that pillow is way too nice. hand it back.”

he blinks, baffled, before the "too nice" pillow is snatched away and replaced with a sad, flat one that looks like it’s seen better days.

sae stares at the new pillow and then at you. this is so absurd, so far removed from the usual luxurious facade of his life, that the ever-composed itoshi sae actually laughs.

“you’re forgetting something,” he says suddenly, catching your wrist and pulling you closer.

“sae! let go!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp.

“are you seriously this upset over that cheap ring?” his tone is somewhere between exasperation and amusement, as if he should've expected such a reaction.

“it doesn’t matter if it was cheap; it was mine!” you hit his chest with a fist, glaring up at him. “and you hid it!”

“because i got you a better one,” he says, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if that explains everything.

“well, you could’ve just said that!” you huff, shoving his arm. “i was freaking out, thinking i lost it!”

"why do you even like that ring so much?" sae asks, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s debating whether this argument is even worth his energy.

"because you gave it to me in high school!" you snap back, arms crossing dramatically. "i've spent more time with that ring than with you!"

he freezes, the weight of your words sinking in. the usual sharpness in his expression softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you. his gaze lingers on you, quiet and heavy with a mixture of guilt and something unspoken.

it's true. he knows it. he knows just how many times he’s failed to be present for you, how many moments he’s missed, how many nights you’ve spent waiting for him to come back—both physically and emotionally. each time, each goodbye felt like he was leaving behind another piece of you. your glassy eyes were all he would remember during those long flights.

but that's exactly why he's been wanting to do this for a while. because, although he might not make it obvious, itoshi sae is more attentive than you think.

he reaches into his pocket. the movement catches your attention, and when he pulls out a small velvet box, your breath hitches.

“is that...” you begin to question, even though the answer is obvious.

he opens the box, revealing a sleek, elegant darry ring. it gleams under the soft light of the bedroom—intricate, expensive, but graceful instead of loud, the kind of thing only sae could choose.

“i didn’t hide your ring to be an ass,” he says, a rare gentleness lacing his tone. his firm hand captures yours and slides the perfectly fitted ring on your designated finger.

"i wanted you to have something better," he brings your jeweled hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss. "something worthy of you."

"i wanted to sign my name to you."

you blink, your chest tightening, and before you know it, you're rushing forward to throw your arms around him in an impulsive, tight hug.

"you're an idiot, sae!" you voice, sound coming out teary-eyed.

a moment passes without either of you saying anything. he just holds you tighter, as if making up for every moment he couldn’t be there. then, he chuckles softly, a low, soft sound that fills the space between you.

you pull back just enough to frown up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "you're laughing?!"

sae, with that trademark smirk, tilts his head slightly. "do you like it?" his voice teasing but with that edge of sincerity you know so well.

you scoff, still holding on to his shirt, a little stunned. "are you seriously asking me that right now?" you mumble, though your heart is already swelling.

"i love it," you finally smile, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. "i love it, sae."

he leans forward, the tug of his smile remaining. "yeah?" he inches closer, grabbing you, leaving no room for escape. "how much?"

"so much.." you manage to whisper against his lips before he fully dives in for a kiss.

his lips move gently against yours, tasting the words you just spoke, savoring your happiness. it’s soft and tender, and deliberately slow, as he prefers.

when he finally pulls back, you're left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. you glance up at him, suddenly shy, feeling a soft blush creeping on you.

"you're still sleeping on the couch," you point and smile, face full of mischief.

sae shrugs, his expression slipping into one of playful indifference. “fine. but you’re joining me.”

before you can even protest, he scoops you up effortlessly, your squeals of protest only providing him amusement as he holds you securely in his arms.

"okay, okay! you can sleep on the bed!"

a/n: me ignoring my 1k wc essay to write a 1k wc sae fic 👍🏼

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Poly!141 x fem!Reader

TW: sexual content ahead, choo choo

Part 1

“Wake up, love.” A groan left your lips and you flipped over, burying your face further into the fluffy pillow beneath your head. “Five more minutes.” The dark chuckle behind you betrayed that it was John who was trying to wake you up. He rounded the four-poster, and you cracked an eye open, glancing at him “Do I really have to carry you downstairs?” Your lips twitched, and John immediately knew your answer. With a slight huff, he picked you up and carried you downstairs. He plopped down on the couch with you in his lap, as you cuddled up against him, your eyes closed again.

“Look at her, I think we tired her out too much last night.” Johnny chuckled, gently scratching your scalp and running his fingers through your hair. A pleased hum left your throat as you leaned into his touch. “Yeah, you hurting, pretty?” Kyle sounded concerned and you quickly felt his body heat behind you. “’ M fine.” The Sergeant chuckled, kissing your head, before standing up and walking away.

“Okay, time for breakfast, huh?” Your eyes shot open immediately and you glared at Simon, who stood next to the gigantic Christmas tree you had forced the boys to buy and put up. “No! You promised that we would open the gifts first thing if…if…” Simon grinned, his eyebrows raised as you began to grow bashful. “If what, love?” Your lower lip jutted out as you pouted. “If I were a good girl and took a few more…orgasms.” John chuckled behind you. “Look who’s awake now. Don’t tease her, Si. Let’s open the presents.”

And with that, the present marathon began. The guys got presents for each other and opened them one by one, thanking each other. They were usual guy gifts - alcohol, cigars, socks, etc. Things the others could use, but nothing overwhelming. By the time they were done, you had finally woken up enough to point to the presents you had gotten each of them.

Johnny was the first to unwrap his. It was an expensive sketchbook and art set he had been eyeing for some time, but never decided to buy. “Aw, bonnie. Thank you, I appreciate it.” You grinned. “Open it.” With a slight frown, he did as you told him to, his eyes widening as he saw what was decorating the front page. It was a beautiful portrait of the two of you. You had gotten his favorite indie artist to draw it for you and he even signed it. “No way!” With a giant grin, he jumped to his feet. “How did ya- no, when did ya-?” He jumped over the table that was separating him from you, not waiting for an answer. “You are amazing.” Still grinning, he bent down and pressed his lips to yours, keeping it chaste for the moment.

After Johnny pulled back, Simon reached for his present and ripped the wrapping paper off. He eyed the box for a few seconds, suspicious of its content, but finally opened it once you insisted that it was fine. To his surprise, he pulled out an old-looking camera, his eyes immediately jumping to yours the moment he realized what he was holding. “Where did you find this?” You shrugged, still wrapped in John’s arms. “Did some research. Is it the right one?” Still looking dumbfounded, he nodded. “Y-Yeah. It’s uhm…it’s the right one. Thank you.” You smiled at him, thinking back to when he opened up to you about his hobby when he was a child, how his mother had bought him a second-hand camera just so he could find some joy in life. You spent months trying to find the same model and make, and when you did find it, you knew it was the perfect present. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize Simon was standing right in front of you until you felt his lips against your forehead. “Thank you, love.” A smile formed on your lips as you gazed up at him. “Of course, Si.”

Kyle was next and he made quick work of the wrapping paper, just like Simon. He grinned the moment he realized what it was and skipped over, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “Thank you, sweets.” It was a quiet mumble against your lips before he kissed you again and pulled away. Johnny immediately grew curious, trying to see what you had gifted to Kyle, but the Seargent quickly pulled away, hiding the present. You giggled as you watched Johnny chase Kyle around until the left the living room, both of them yelling at each other. Simon glanced at you, a slight frown on his face. “Do we want to know?” Still giggling, you shook your head, thinking about the different colored yarn balls and crocheting needles. He had confided in you not too long ago that he wanted to try it, but was too shy around the others. You just hoped that he would see the encouragement and take it up.

“What about me?” John gently squeezed the fat on your hips, gathering your attention. “Oh.” You pointed at a small, beautifully wrapped box and Simon handed it to you. With his free hand, he took it, turning it over as if trying to guess what it was. “Just open it.” With a dark chuckle, he did, quickly shredding the paper and frowning as he saw that it was a watch box. But when he opened it, the frown disappeared and his eyes widened. “Where did you find this?”

A few months ago, during an op, his watch broke. Usually, that wouldn’t be all too bad, better the watch, that can be replaced, than his hand or wrist. But the watch was ancient, vintage as he called it and it meant a lot to him. He didn’t act like it, but it broke his heart whenever he looked at it, hidden away in the top drawer of his desk. And it broke your heart. So, together with Simon, you scoured all different kinds of jewelry stores and online until you found the exact same model, working and in good condition.

John closed the lid of the box and pulled you even closer against himself. "Thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper as he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was gentle at first, his lips moving slowly against yours as his hand came up to cup your cheek. You melted into him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as the kiss deepened. But before it could go too far, Johnny and Kyle came barreling back into the room. “I want a hat.” The Scot was grinning at the other male. “I’m not making you a hat.” Kyle shook his head, but the grin on his face betrayed him. You and John pulled apart, him looking annoyed while you just chuckled at the familiar antics.

“Oh? You guys done?” Simon nodded as Johnny and Kyle sat down again, a smirk growing on their lips. “So, now it’s time for her presents?” And oh, there were presents. From lingerie and jewelry to plane tickets for your dream vacation. By the time you had unwrapped and opened all of them, Simon and Johnny had disappeared into the kitchen to make breakfast. “You guys are crazy. That’s way too much!” John shook his head, squeezing you tighter against him. “Nonsense. You deserve so much more.” Kyle interrupted the Captain. “And some of this may be compensation for having to put up with Johnny.” Immediately, Scottish curses sounded from the kitchen, making you chuckle.

“Thank you, guys. I love you. All of you.” John pressed a kiss to your cheeks, Kyle matching it on the other side, before both of them pulled away, making eye contact. “There is actually one more gift, wait here.” Price shifted you from his lap and sat you down on the couch, before he and Kyle disappeared, closely followed by Simon and Johnny who left the kitchen and followed the other two soldiers. You were curious but decided to be a good girl and wait patiently. While doing so, you glanced over all of your presents again, a font smile tugging on your lips. You really loved these idiots.

Someone clearing their throat pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked up, finding the four soldiers standing in front of you, naked, safe for a pretty bow wrapped around each of their cocks. “Ready for your final present, love?” They all grinned at you and you couldn’t help but grin back. Hell yes, you were ready!

A/N: If you're seeing this, it means I can finally upload again! Yay! Idk why but Tumblr wouldn't let me upload the last few days, no matter what I tried it didn't work. But whenever this goes up, I hope I can go back to my normal schedule! Love you guys!

[livefromtheelephantsfoot]

Just to add even more context for non-americans, $300 USD (which is abt 300 euros) is less than I paid last summer for an urgent care appointment (I had a UTI so they also ran some STI tests to be sure, and those were not cheap).

I have perfectly adequate health insurance. It didn't cost that much bc I wasn't insured, or because the insurance company refused to cover the appointment, or because the urgent care center was out of network-- that's how much I was charged for a situation in which everything went right.

A couple months ago I had a similar appointment, but after my family had hit our yearly deductible (something that rarely happens to us bc it's almost $4k), at which point your healthcare is supposed to become less expensive (not free, just less expensive). That time it cost me $150. I looked at the total bill afterward, the amount "charged" to the insurance company was over $1,600. I say "charged" bc they didn't actually pay the urgent care place $1,450-- part of the way this works is the insurance company gets to demand a steep "discount" from the clinics and hospitals (thank you AdamRuinsEverything), so in response they jack up the starting price.

Hang on, lemme grab the bill.

Ok, so here's the bill. This is for a 45 minute appointment where I peed in a cup, chatted with a nurse practitioner for a half hour or so, and then used a swab on myself so they could run some tests on that too. The total charges is what they billed the insurance company. The "insurance payments" is what the insurance ACTUALLY paid, and "insurance adjustments" is the discount they got. That's a big part of how health insurance companies get to pretend they're doing you a service when they're just leeches making everything worse. There is (at least) almost $900 of this bill, more than half, that has no reason to exist at all, it only exists to hurt people without insurance.

Again, I don't really have a problem with the final number--$150 is not a big deal for that sort of thing here--but I *am* scared to go back now that it's the new year because again, this was the "congrats, you spent so much money on healthcare this year that it's cheap now" price.

Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny…

[ddlydevotion]

Dating Luigi Mangione ࣪ ۪ ֢ 🦢‌ࣳ ! !

currently listening to: salvatore by lana del rey

a/n: I’ve been seeing many fics of Luigi where people portray him as rude/aggressive so I wanted to try something a lil different.

His facial expressions are always on point in every video we’ve seen of him, so I have a feeling he’d be a very active listener. You could be in the middle of telling him how your day went and a small smile would spread across his lips at the sound of your melodic voice. His eyebrows twitching with concern once you start to mention anything negative occurring. this is basically his face when he’s listening to you:

He would most definitely be the type to make playlists in your name while he’s thinking of you. He’s so in love with you to the point where he can no longer listen to his favorite music without thinking of you and the beautiful moments the two of you have shared. He also has a habit of sending you songs that he thinks you’ll like/remind him of you.

He loves being able to live life to the fullest and loves doing it with you even more. He takes photos of the two of you wandering around whatever city you’ve traveled to with a little $30 digi cam. He has a Polaroid of the two of you placed in his wallet.

Luigi doesn’t need a gift to be expensive in order to fully cherish it. You could give him a handwritten letter and he’d protect it with his life because you gave it to him. He can’t afford to lose any evidence of the love the two of you share for one another. He loves gifting you items that reminded him of you, things you mentioned enjoying, surprising you to go do something you’ve mentioned wanting to participate in. You don’t even have to mention any of these things more than once because he’ll remember.

His back pain can get incredibly severe and there comes days where he can’t seem to focus on even the most simplest of things. Having you there while he attends physical therapy, participates in yoga/gets helpful treatments somehow makes the pain a bit more manageable. Knowing that he can go to you when he needs something is enough to ease his anxieties in situations regarding his chronic pain.

As I’ve mentioned before, Luigi loves trying new things and exposing himself to unfamiliar cultures/locations. This fact goes hand in hand with his openness to trying new food with you. Oh, he’s never tried ____ before? Well, might as well try it now with you!

You make his travels so much more lively and notable.

Three words: skin to skin.

The loving warmth of your welcoming hands and fingers tracing shapes onto his muscular back makes him feel as if he’s on cloud nine. He loves being able to wake up to the sun peeking through the blinds and feeling your bare skin embracing him.

He has a HUGE family and mostly all of them have heard the lovely stories he has stored up about you. During the first Christmas you ever spent with his family, they made sure they had your favorite foods out on display. How did they know they were your favorites? Well, you have your boyfriend and his ramblings to thank for that. Despite not having spent much time with you, his family still found the time to provide you with your very own gifts. You’ve felt nothing but welcomed by their presence as they treated you like an old friend upon your first meeting.

You don’t really have to want for anything when you’re with Lu. You mention wanting to go see that movie that just came out? He already has a tab open on his phone to purchase tickets. He sees you eyeing something at the store but hesitate buying because ‘it’s too much’ ? Well, he’s putting it in the cart anyway.

Definitely calls you cute little variations of your name. His favorite terms of endearment to use for you are probably: baby, cutie, babe, princess, etc. was gonna put sweetheart but I’m not too sure

[odoraful]

𝑨 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬

you and zayne attend a wedding of a childhood friend, and zayne thinks about what could have been

⟡ content: gn!reader; reader is described as wearing a dress; made-up childhood friends for backstory purposes; more bittersweetness but i swear the sweetness outweighs the bitterness!; 4k wc (a little longer than my usual, but pls give it a chance > <)

⟡ a/n: kinda had billie eilish's birds of a feather in my head when writing this :') been on my zayne bittersweet streak because i've been sentimental about him, but i swear i will be back to writing fluffy pieces soon :D also writing endings are so hard for me !! i hope it doesn't fall too flat in the end aahh

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The last time Zayne attended a wedding he had hardly known the groom and left as soon as the dance floor opened up to guests.

His relationship to the groom was that of a loose acquaintance when he was still a university student. In fact, that person had invited most of the medicine cohort to his wedding, close or otherwise. Is it socially appropriate to attend a wedding of someone who isn’t close to you? Zayne had texted his parents asking for advice, who, at the time, were probably on the other side of the globe on a medical rescue mission. Even so, they still managed to reply to their son. If he invited you, then he wants you to come, sweetie, his mother answered. It’ll be a good chance for you to forget about your studies for a night and have some fun! his father responded. And so, he ticked ‘accept’ box on the RSVP letter.

As for the dancing, however, it just wasn’t his idea of fun.

The night was pleasant enough, and he enjoyed the change of scenery. Though he felt minor affection towards the couple performing their first dance, he could admit it was rather pretty and sentimental.

This wedding was different though.

This time he was closer to the bride and groom, seeing as he grew up with them. They had all attended the same primary school, and even though his contact with them throughout the years had been sporadic at best, he still held fondness for them from that period of his childhood.

And, most importantly, he had you with him as his partner and plus one. Honestly, he believed many things became more bearable with you at his side.

The wedding venue was a spectacle, located in a high rise building in the heart of Linkon City. Archways filled with white and pink flowers guided people towards the grand entrance where a sign that read ‘Welcome to the wedding of April and James’ stood. Inside, thick velvet curtains were tied away to reveal open large glass doors leading to balconies overlooking the glistening city below. Projected throughout the edges of the room were holographic photos of the couple. Some were of them at various destinations they’ve travelled to, but many were just everyday photos, taken on dates outside or in their home.

You and Zayne stood by one of these holograms. You had arrived a little earlier than the time provided and were taking a turn around the wide space, admiring the set up.

“Look at this!” you exclaimed, pointing over to a hologram and hurrying over to it before it was replaced by another image. “It’s a photo from back in primary school.”

Zayne followed his excited partner, seeing the skirt of your dress fluttering against your legs. Sure enough, it was a photo of you and the couple along with other students from many, many years ago.

“You’re not in this one though, Zayne,” you said, furrowing your brows.

“If my memory is correct, I wasn’t in the same class as you,” he replied.

“Ahh,” you sounded in remembrance. “We spent so much time together when we were little, I guess I always assumed that you were.”

The photo seemed to be from a school trip, likely taken by a teacher. Six students were squished together in a line with arms draped across shoulders and a victorious look on their face. One student on the very end held up a peace sign beside their eye. Though the face was rounder, that toothy grin was unmistakably yours. He fondly remembered that face from his childhood.

Zayne observed your animated expression as you recounted the story behind the photo.

You had chosen to wear a silky navy-blue dress (which matched the tie of his own suit), the fabric gently reflecting the warm light from the chandeliers above. Shimmering by your ears were a pair of earrings—snowflakes with a length of silver chain dangling below them, almost imitating snowfall. It was a gift he had given you on one of your anniversaries, and was silently happy to see you wear so often. Both of you had grown up much since that time in the photo, but for all the changes that happened, your smile had stayed the same, if not more brighter now with your rose-tinted lips and crinkles around your eyes.

“Zayne, are you listening to me?” you asked, those same rosy lips forming a pout.

His eyes must have wandered more obviously than he expected, but he still remained an attentive listener.

“Yes, you just said that on you tripped over the edge of a carpet which revealed the last item your team needed for the scavenger hunt,” he recounted.

“You know, that was probably the only time when my clumsiness did me a favour.”

Zayne placed a hand on his chin in mock thought.

“Hm, I do recall a time when you bumped into my shelf and a book that I had been looking for fell out,” he said.

Though his intonation didn’t change, his eyes glistened with amusement. One of the telltale signs of his playfulness.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his response. A small smile broke through on his face as well as he drunk in your expression.

As you continued around the room together, the venue filled up with guests dressed in their most formal attire. Everyone began to move to their assigned table and seats, searching for the calligraphed name card. You both were at a table with old classmates from your primary school. Their reaction to seeing Zayne was delighted surprise, many saying that they couldn’t even recognise that he was the same quiet boy. There was an even greater reaction to the news that you two were a couple, with Zayne being the one to share it after a classmate asked if you two arrived together. You flushed at the sudden attention placed on you both, now being showered with various compliments to do with the cuteness of the pairing, and questions as to the exact when, where and how's of the relationship. It was your shyness compared to Zayne’s coolness that made everyone so endeared to the couple in such a short period of time. Zayne simply responded to all the commotion on the table with ‘We reconnected and have been with each other for a while. We’re both very happy together.’

Soon after everyone had settled in with their table company, the wedding couple made their appearance.

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April and James had been together since they were little. You remembered them always paired up together in classes, scribbling on each other’s notebooks, kicking each other’s feet in their seats. Overtime, they began to realise that they felt more for each other than just friendship. The music in the room grew louder as the entrance doors swung open. Everyone whooped as the couple, pumping their fists in their air, walked in. April’s dress was a pearly white that went down to her ankles with draped sleeves around her upper arms. James’ black suit contrasted sharply against his wife’s outfit, however, the small bunch of white flowers pinned to his lapel ensured their looks would match.

You cheered with the crowd and Zayne clapped along. Undoubtedly, the energy in the room was infectious. This was much different to the last wedding he attended. Zayne felt a genuine tug in his heart seeing the couple together.

The wedding reception continued on, the banter and drinks among the tables flowing freely. Your old classmates loved hearing the stories of your Hunter expeditions and were in awe of the work Zayne was doing at Akso Hospital.

“So that’s why we never saw you when we got to middle and high school,” one of them commented.

“Yeah doc, you were ahead of all of us!” another chimed in. “I thought skipping grades was something you only saw in the movies.”

A third leaned their head against their hand, reminiscing aloud to the table. “I remember you and Y/N used to hang out all the time, and then we slowly started seeing you less and less. I guess it makes sense now with you moving schools and skipping ahead.” They gave a wink to you and Zayne seated together across the table. “But, I’m glad to see you two reunited now, in more ways than one.”

You gently nudged Zayne with your shoulder, eyes glittering with joy. “So I am,” you answered.

Interjecting from the current line of conversation came another voice, slightly slurred who spoke, “Guys, do you remember that time in Grade 8 when someone tried to sneak the school’s OTTO robot home?”

“Yeah, that was you!” the person seated beside them exclaimed.

“It was so loud we all heard it speaking from the inside of your bag: I will be reporting your misconduct to the principal,” another added, mimicking the robotic OTTO voice.

The table erupted in laughter.

Zayne sipped on his glass of sparkling juice whilst the chatter flowed. He enjoyed the atmosphere—the bubbly conversation, zipping between topics with ease. But there was a feeling he couldn’t shake. A distance between himself and the rest of the table. He was the odd one out. A puzzle piece that couldn’t fit in just right. All of you had shared the same childhood together, and Zayne had only been there for a small part of it. He could never know you from that period of time with the same familiarity the rest of your classmates had.

He felt your hand envelop his own beneath the table. Zayne turned curiously to you before leaning closer.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice brushing your ear in a whisper.

You nodded. “I’m fine, Zayne. I was just wondering how you were going.”

He softened at your concern. You had always been attuned to his subtleties.

“There’s no need to check up on me. I’m enjoying myself. Everyone is quite entertaining,” he replied earnestly.

You relaxed. “Well, I just hope they don’t share any of my embarrassing teenage stories.”

The corners of his lips twitched into a smile. “Admittedly, your uneasiness has made me more curious to hear them. Perhaps it’s time to change the conversation topic.”

“Zayne!” you hissed.

He breathed a quiet laugh. “But, I wouldn’t pry if you’d prefer me not to.” His glanced to the other guests at the table. “I just want to know more about you.”

You furrowed your brows, somewhat confused. “You know lots about me. More so than anyone at this table I’m pretty sure.”

Zayne thought about his next words, “I believe there are opportunities to learn more about someone everyday.”

The seriousness of his tone gave you pause. His gaze settled on you again, and there was something in his greenish-gold eyes you couldn’t decipher. Nevertheless, you would never miss an opportunity to provide him with comfort.

“Then,” you began, gently squeezing his hand, “I look forward to our continued learning experience.”

The feedback of a microphone drew everyone’s attention to the center of the room. The emcee had handed over to the groom to speak next. James mouthed a thank you before taking in a deep breath and addressing the room.

“Thank you everyone for coming to our wedding. My wife-” (he swung his head back dramatically to April, his deliberate emphasis of the word making her laugh with adoration) “-and I are thrilled to see so many of our family and friends here. As you know, we shared out vows in private, but I’d like to speak to everyone here about me and April’s relationship.”

“April and I met when we were only kids. One might call us childhood sweethearts. I don’t even remember the exact age, but I do remember that she has always been a constant in my life. We’ve walked side-by-side through the good and the bad that life has thrown at us.”

Wanting to sit more comfortably to watch the speech, you rested your arms on the top of your chair and laid your chin on it. Zayne wordlessly reached out to readjust the skirt of your dress so it wouldn’t get crumpled.

“I’d like to share one of my favourite memories I have of April. I know our old classmates know about this,” (he nodded towards your table), “but we always walked home together from school, and there was one time when we both heard this distressed chirping coming from near my house. We searched around and, sure enough, there was a little bird laying helplessly on its side between some bushes.”

“It must’ve been in shock after falling from its nest because was stiff and unresponsive. I had no idea what to do and stood there like a doofus, but April jumped to action. She brought out a spare towel from her PE bag to gently wrap the bird. We rushed inside my house and she ordered me to find a box and poke some holes into it so the bird could rest without distraction. A few hours later, the bird was responsive again.”

“I’ll never forget how delighted and relieved she looked seeing that the bird was alright. From that day on, I knew I wanted to be someone as decisive and resourceful as her one day.” James looked warmly over at April. “Even now, I’m still inspired by her.”

The speech thus far had been nothing but sweet, however, Zayne oddly had a weight in his chest. A story so innocently simple as walking home from high school with the one you like and taking care of an injured animal had left a sinking feeling in his heart. There were some certain comparisons he just couldn’t help but draw. The sounds of lowered chatter and cutlery scraping against plates in the background faded, and he could only focus on the words spoken into the microphone.

“I think about all these years we’ve spent together, and I believe that we’ve been fortunate enough to have what a lot of people don’t: Time.”

“Time to really know each other, time to witness each other’s personal growth, time to strengthen our bond. I believe that all that time we shared allowed us to be where we are now.”

James lifted his glass up towards April. “I would like to share a toast now to this wonderful woman.”

Everyone raised their glasses to toast alongside the groom. Zayne’s reaction was a second delayed, disorientated by the sudden onset of his emotions. Rather than look at the bride and groom, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, even though your own gaze was fixed on the couple. Zayne lifted his glass high along with all the guests, though, perhaps he was directing his toast at a different person instead. James’ voice echoed in the microphone as he ended his speech.

“I love you with all my heart. My past, present and future is with you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Zayne’s skin immediately cooled as he stepped out into the night air. He loosened up his tie a little as he rested his hands on the balcony’s railing. The balcony stretched across the length of the room, connected by the multiple set of doors that led outside. It wasn’t unusual for guests to be out here. Many had also gone to get some fresh air, or to take some pictures with the Linkon City skyline. You, alongside your other classmates, had been pulled aside by the bride to get a few photos. Zayne had told you he’d be waiting outside when you finished up.

Zayne was not a regretful person, but he did find indulgence in reminiscing on what could have been. If you both hadn’t drifted apart in your youth, how would things have changed? False memories flashed through his mind of your younger selves—walking home from school on cold winter days bundled up in scarves and coats, petting stray cats that stalked the streets in the afternoon, visiting cafes where you’d try and distract him from studying, watching the fireworks at local festivals.

Would this be his and yours wedding instead? Instead of your navy dress, you’d be wearing an ivory one. He’d be the one in the center of the hall speaking about how much you inspire him, how much he loves you.

“What are you thinking about?”

Your voice lilted in the air beside Zayne. You joined him by the balcony, hands on the railing in support as you stretched your arms. The light from the venue diffused out into the dark night, leaving the faintest yellow glow against your back. The wind brushed your hair back with a gentle caress, framing your side profile just so.

“Us.” He blinked away from your expectant gaze.

“In a good or bad way?” You leaned closer, resting your shoulder comfortably against his.

“It’s not possible for me to think of us in a poor light.”

Zayne became more aware of the placement of his hands on the railing. If he stretched his right hand out, his pinkie would touch yours. Even with being partners for so long, initiating physical affection where there were so many people around still took some getting used to. He chose instead lean back into your shoulder.

“How did the photos end up?” he asked.

“They turned out well! Though, I think I still had tears welling up in my eyes after James’ speech. I’m sure it made my eyes extra sparkly in those pictures.”

Zayne knew he desperately needed to see those photos now.

“James said some really meaningful things,” you continued, “it made me more emotional than I was expecting.”

Zayne clasped his hands together, absent-mindedly fidgeting with his thumbs. “May I… be honest with you?”

The wind played with his dark hair as well, the careful style loosening as strands were lightly swept against his forehead. For those moments, he looked like the Zayne you’d see just as you woke up in the mornings on those lazy weekends. In what light there was outside, you saw his expression turn somber.

“Of course,” you replied without hesitation.

He took a breath before speaking, “James and April… they reminded me of us, in a way. I’m grateful we both grew up safely so we could meet again, but I couldn’t help of think of the time we lost being separated for so long.”

Greediness was hardly a trait Zayne would associate himself with, but when it came to you, he felt his control slip. He wanted more. More time, more memories, more of life with you.

“It’s no good to be down at a wedding, you know,” you said, the soft smile on your face like light a salve to his troubles.

“We have time now. I’m also a bit sad that we never experienced youth together, but we get to make up for it now that we’re here.”

“So,” you leaned your head on his shoulder, “you’re going to stuck with me for a very, very long time,”

Accentuating your statement, you nuzzled deeper. You felt the reverberations of his chuckle against your skin.

“Stuck has the implication that I’d only accept or tolerate you,” Zayne corrected. “The happiness you bring me certainly earns a better title than being stuck.”

“But, if I follow the same convention then I guess… I would want nothing more than to be stuck with you for the rest of my life.”

Hearing the determination in your voice was all the comfort he needed. Those snippets of your shared childhood would always be treasured, and perhaps the time apart just meant more space for new memories. Memories just like this—sharing an quiet conversation on a moonlit balcony.

“Would you like a wedding similar to this one?”

“Hm, why do you ask?” you asked back with a teasing lilt, your curiosity stirred.

“You are the one I wish to marry one day, so it’s only appropriate I ask,” he replied with a straight face.

Your eyes grew wide with surprise. “Y-you’d really want to marry me?”

He frowned that you even had a sliver of doubt about his commitment to you. His voice was soft and sincere as he spoke, “Of course. There is no one else I can picture spending my life with.”

Even though it was well into the night, the way you brightened seemed like dawn had come early.

“Then when that day comes, I would want my wedding to be in nature. Do you remember the villa we went to for your birthday? It’d be nice if we had something similar to that.”

Zayne nodded in agreement, “I would also enjoy that.”

In secret, he was already thinking about the honeymoon as well. Maybe going someplace snowy so the two of you could ski during the day and snuggle during the night. He slowly realised that there was no need to dwell on the past so much. Thinking about a future with you was like waking up to fresh snowfall—serene and magical.

The feedback of the microphone reverberated through the space and you both turned at the sound. The emcee was standing in the center of the hall again, addressing all the guests.

“April and James would like to now invite all the couples in attendance tonight to come to the floor to share a dance! Please make your way over if you’d like to join.”

Out on the balconies and inside the hall, couples excitedly looked at each other and made their way to the dance floor. Zayne decided to follow suit, boldness filling him. He didn’t feel like shying away from dancing this time, especially now since you were here. He extended his hand out to you.

“Would you like to share a dance with me?”

You happily accepted, letting him guide you the floor. A slow, romantic melody began to play from the band. His hands held your waist, feeling the silky fabric beneath his fingertips. Yours moved to his shoulders, clasped loosely behind his neck. At this closeness, the delicate scent of jasmines and mint enveloped you from Zayne’s cologne.

“I didn’t know you enjoyed dancing,” you said, voice low enough for only him to hear.

“Only if I like my partner. Fortunately, the person in front of me is the one I love most,” he answered.

It was difficult to hide your fluster at such a close proximity. He savored the way his words made you blink away from his gaze, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Do you have all these romantic lines in a book somewhere, doctor?”

“Yes, in my fifth edition of Ways to Woo Your Partner.”

You couldn’t hold back your reaction and you broke into a chuckle, shaking your head at how silly his jokes could sometimes be.

The music swirled around you, and time slowed. Everything in the background melted away, leaving only the two of you in the room. Your own little world where you danced and talked about your past, present, and future together. Yet another new memory to be catalogued by Zayne—dancing with the one I will cherish for the rest of time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[feederprincess]

cw: manipulation

good morning darling,

open up. new year, new you, remember? you said i get to feed you whatever i want for the first three months of the year, if you manage to keep your active lifestyle up during it i will do whatever you want for the rest of the year, and if not…

you are dropping your job and becoming my stay at home boyfriend that i get to spoil every single day 💞

its okay baby, look i brought you your favorite chocolate shake, made with brownies, heavy cream and ice cream. i also made you plenty of bacon pancakes just the way you like them, with extra butter. you have to start the year off strong - don’t bother getting out of bed, let me suck you off while you are eating so you can pass out as soon as you are done <3…

good evening! you slept right through lunch so i made you an entire pot of alfredo with buttery noodles, can i feed it to you? you must be hungry after so long ~ what do you mean you want to go to the gym? you won’t spend all of our first day of the year together? but it would mean so much to me… you could always go to the gym tomorrow instead…

except i will never let you go. manipulating you was so easy, i only had to make you feel guilty whenever you left me alone. all i had to do was keep feeding you fattening meals loaded with empty calories and ice cream shakes to wash them down, all i had to do was suck you off and not let you cum until you fully finished your plates. day after day of this, telling you to go back to the gym tomorrow but it would be a shame to not give my food a try. whenever you even suggested going out to get some exercise in i would tear up asking why i’m not good enough to spend time with - and you, as the good boyfriend you are kept doing everything in your power to make sure i felt loved<33

you started moving less each day, piling on weight extremely quickly and slowly craving fattening foods more and more. you stopped working because i missed you too much when you were out of the house, and instead spent the days inside completely isolated playing games and ordering takeout out of boredom. thanks to my conditioning you began getting hard while eating, and without me there to take care of it for you you found yourself jerking off while shoveling food down your throat, not exactly sure why you were so turned on<3

you stopped being able to pull your pants over your thighs so you began walking around in underwear and a shirt, although by the end of each day you were covered in crumbs. your moobs are pressing against your shirt, being more sensitive each passing day to the point you get randomly aroused simply because they brushed against something - it doesn’t help that i play with them while jerking you off 💞

a couple months after and your belly won’t let you jerk off while sitting down, so instead you have to lay in uncomfortable positions to even reach your buried cock - tongue out trying to catch your breath, while your chubby arms squish against your belly fighting for space… god you are such a helpless food addicted fatty

i tell you that it’s becoming harder to keep your belly out of the way while getting you off, and instead start asking you to get on all fours so you can happily eat while i jerk you off like that - and luckily for me you are too far gone to even consider that it might be humiliating <3

it’s okay baby, we aren’t gonna stop until your belly touches the floor and you can barely stay on all fours. i love you so much 💞

[dixons-sunshine]

To The Place I Belong | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: The world could be cruel. Especially now, as dangers lurked behind every corner in the forms of both the dead and the living. However, despite all of that, Daryl found his solace in the two people he loved most—you and your daughter.

Genre: Fluff.

Warnings: None.

Word count: 1k.

A/N: Requested—or well, a spark of inspiration given by— @holdmytesseract. I hope you like this, my love!

The chilling wind blew through Daryl’s hair as he looked out the window of the truck. Rick was driving the vehicle, the former sheriff’s deputy silent as he focused on getting them both home safely. The gates of Alexandria loomed closer, the promise of safety, of security, a mere few yards away.

You and Hazel were almost within reach.

The vehicle soon came to a stop within the gated community. The sun had just begun its slow descent into the horizon, the ball of flames disappearing behind the mountains. Daryl and Rick both simply left all the supplies on the truck and took different paths to their own homes, the found brothers both silently agreeing that sorting through everything and taking things back to the pantry could wait until the morning. Although Daryl usually would have taken on the task himself and worked late into the night to finish it, he could not be bothered to do so that night. It could indeed wait until the next day.

Daryl’s boots made dull thuds against the pavement as he made his way towards the all too familiar porch. He carefully climbed the few steps that lead up to the front door, and slowly turned the doorknob that would lead him to his own private sanctuary, his escape from the horrors of the world run by the undead.

The crossbow-wielding archer was instantly greeted with the amazing aroma of freshly cooked stew. It made his stomach rumble, making him aware of the fact that he had not eaten anything that day. He had slipped from the bed at the crack of dawn when the house was completely silent. You had still been asleep when he had left for the planned scavenging trip with Rick, your baby girl also still deep within the realms of slumber in her crib in her nursery, dreaming of whatever babies dreamt about.

Daryl smiled his signature half smile when he approached the kitchen and saw what you were up to. You were humming to yourself as you went about tidying up the space, your efficiency being hindered by the fact that you held Hazel in your embrace as well. However, as you had said many times before, it did not bother you. You loved your little munchkin with all of your heart. A little more time spent on cleaning meant nothing in comparison to the love you held for your daughter.

“Somethin’ smells amazin’,” Daryl spoke up after a good twenty seconds of simply observing you.

You spun around at the sound of your husband’s voice, a loving smile gracing your features. “You’re back.” You laughed lightly when Hazel eagerly wriggled around in your arms, her babbles incoherent but clearly getting her point across—she wanted her dad. “Looks like someone missed you.”

Your husband smiled and stepped forward, plucking Hazel from your arms and gently holding her against him. “Hey, babygirl,” he cooed to her softly. “Did ya miss me?” All Daryl got in response was a little adorable giggle. “Well, I certainly missed you, Hazelnut. You ‘n your mama.”

“And we missed you,” you voiced softly, stepping up to stand beside Daryl. You reached out and stroked Hazel’s head tenderly, still in awe—even all those months later—by the fact that you had created such a beautiful human being with the man you loved so much. “We missed you so much.”

Daryl’s heart fluttered in his chest. “Yeah?” he asked rhetorically.

You nodded nonetheless. “Yeah. You were gone for far too long. Isn’t that right, Baby?” Your lips twitched up at the coo you got in response from Hazel. “You should probably just forget all your responsibilities and spend all your time here with us.”

“S’that right?” Daryl asked, turning his head to press a soft kiss to your temple. “’Cause I ain’t against that plan at all. Y’sure you can handle me twenty-four seven?”

You laughed and nodded. “I’m sure a couple more hours of you everyday won’t kill me,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with yours.

Daryl simply chuckled and shook his head. “Well, when ya put it like that, how m’I s’posed to say no?”

“You can’t,” you began playfully. “You can try to decline, but your attempts will be futile. It will be met with resistance in the form of kisses and baby cuddles.”

“Oh, god. Please no. Not the baby cuddles,” Daryl gasped in mock fear. “How s’anyone s’posed to survive the baby cuddles? M’doomed.” He tickled Hazel’s stomach, laughing with her when she squealed happily.

Your heart swelled with love as you watched the two people you loved most. Daryl had come so far. He had grown from that man you had first met at the quarry to he one you got to see now every day. The one you got to love and cherish. The one you got to call your husband.

You smiled softly when Hazel let out a big yawn and lowered her head to rest against Daryl’s shoulder. “I think it’s time we get her to bed,” you said, placing a gentle hand on your archer’s arm.

Daryl shared a look with you, one that voiced more than words ever could. “Alright.”

You both worked together to put your little girl to bed. It was relatively easy to do. One lullaby with some gentle rocking and she was out like a light. You watched as Daryl slowly and carefully lowered Hazel into her crib, before lowering himself down to press one final kiss to her forehead. It was a sweet gesture, one that spoke volumes of his love for the tiny human being that rested within the crib.

You quietly closed the door behind you when you and Daryl left the nursery. Daryl opened his mouth to say something, but it was cut off by the unexpected feeling of your arms wrapping around him. He easily returned the gesture, holding you tightly against him.

“I missed you,” you spoke up, your voice muddled as you nuzzled your face into his chest.

Daryl smiled. “Missed ya too, Sweetheart.” And he meant that. Despite only being apart for a few hours, he had missed you. He had missed Hazel. He had missed his little family. After years of wandering around and wondering where he fit in, he had found it. He had finally found the place where he belongs. His home.

You.

[fayecreates]

Naked in Manhattan

A/N: pls send requests, i need them for my shitty trip. (A little update 2 days later) im gonna cry my eyes out if i have to stay her for any longer.

Premise: Teen!Vi x teen!reader, being unlikely friends, having a sleepover together and that leads to a bit of silly stuff (NOTHING WEIRD JUST KISSING)

Warnings: uh kissing? Idk, dont read this if you’re like 30 cuz thats a little weird. Probably a wrong description of friday the 13th, i watched it like 5 years ago so idk all i know is theres a sex scene at the start.

To put it simply, you were a weird kid. From 1st grade to now you didnt have many friends. It wasnt horrible, it was honestly pretty nice. Less drama to worry about and more time to get your homework done so you can do whatever you want. That was until you met Vi.

She was a pretty sociable person, not like happy to talk constantly, just unafraid of interaction. You both sat by each other during biology, it came to you easily but with Vi it took a little more time… after a while she started to ask for your help. It was never a demand to do her homework, and you could tell that she was really struggling. It started with a few short explanations, to a few short conversations about the shitty teacher, to plans to hang out afterschool. It was all so fast for you, was this even how friendships started? Either way it was fine, not like you could call it off when you’re 5 minutes away from her house.

Your heart raced at the thought of even being in her house. Was it weird to dress up for this? Were your pajamas appropriate? What would her house look like? You sat in the backseat of the car, gripping onto the strap of your bag for dear life, contemplating if it was even normal to be this nervous. I mean you were acting like you were going on your first date, and it’d be weird to date another girl, right? I mean Vi was pretty but wasn’t in a romantic way, maybe… your racing thoughts were cut off by the sudden stop of the car. You quickly got out, making sure you had all your stuff on you.

After talking to Vi’s dad Vander for a little, you sat on the floor of Vi’s bedroom, looking around like you about escape. She had a few posters, most of some boxers you didn’t know and some rock bands you also didn’t know. Her room was messy but you can see that she attempted to clean up a bit. It was a little after 9pm, Vi was talking to her dad about watching some movies on the TV. A part of you wanted to beg to be picked up and the other wanted to stay forever.

“Alright, you up to watch some horror movies?” Vi said with a smirk on her face, holding up a few CDs of shitty shock value horror. You smiled, standing up and walking quickly to living room together.

You both sat on the couch together, a space between the two of you. “Okay… Friday the 13th or Hellraiser?” She asked with a daring look on her face as she held both them up. You pointed to Friday the 13th, i mean you’ve heard about it more so it couldn’t be that bad, right? Vander was out going to the store, and Powder was out for the night by now. Vi put the CD in and you both sat watching. Maybe you spent a little too much time caring about if your posture was bad or if you should hold something, but as soon as the opening scene came on you didn’t know how to act. Seeing the people move in such a manner to mimic sex, you knew it was probably not real but it made you blush a bit. As you listened to the faux moans, you felt weird. You imagined yourself as the girl for a minute, it wasn’t too enjoyable compared to imagining the both of you there. But you wouldn’t do that with Vi, that would be weird, right. Safe to say you stayed silent for the rest of the movie, barely even getting scared if you excuse jumping a few times.

After it had ended you sort of just spaced out. Vi took a notice of that, assuming you were just scared or something. “…you wanna watch something easier?” She said after a second of silence, you just nodded. She quickly got up to look through CDs again, finally landing on Mean Girls to cleanse your palate. Putting in and watching felt a bit better. You both made fun of them and laughed with each other, it was weirdly bonding. The clock hit 11pm, you guys were a bit closer on the couch. You looked to Vi at a funny part, seeing if she would laugh, you didn’t know why seeing her smile made your heart race. Your eyes met and she smiled at just you, but you felt like you were caught stealing something so you quickly looked away.

The movie ended and Vander came back, telling you both to go to bed. You both obliged, even though you shared a small look, knowing you’d stay up until you couldn’t keep your eyes open. You both sat on the floor of Vi’s bedroom, attempting to think of something to do. “Maybe we could play truth or dare?” You ask, it was stereotypical but it was a fun game, theoretically. Vi lit up, like it was the idea of a century. “I’ll start, truth or dare?” Vi said with a smile, holding her pillow in her lap. “Truth?” You were bit unsure, still anxious if all your actions were okay. “Okay… who’s your celebrity crush?” Vi asks with the same smile plastered on her face. You thought long and hard, you couldn’t say some like Kristen Stewart or any other girl, that would make it so tense. “…uh… whoever the actor is for Elvira…” you say, hesitant but you couldn’t lie. Lying would be worse than making it awkward. She looked a bit shocked. “Really? You like girls?” She says like it just unexpected rather than weird. “I dont know… i mean probably.” You say, trying to push off the topic, it wasn’t something for you to decide right now, or you just told yourself that. It was silent and awkward for a moment, well for you. You forgot it was your turn. “Oh, truth or dare?” You say quickly, attempting to completely forget, or at least think of a way to give yourself short term memory loss. “Truth.” She says, her smile still unmoving. “Uh… have you ever dated someone?” You ask, a little hesitant. The warm light of a lamp illuminated Vi’s face, it was covered in scars but it was pretty to you. “No, datings for losers.” She says with a laugh, it was unexpected though. Someone so nice, so pretty, i mean you would totally date her— never mind. “Truth or dare.” Vi says, her voice daring. You couldn’t pick truth again, it’d a pussy move. “Dare.” You said with a surge of confidence. It was a moment of silence as Vi contemplated what dare to give her.

“I dare you to kiss me.” Vi says with a smirk, like she knew you wouldn’t do it. Your face became hot as can be. You froze for a minute, it was so weird to even think about doing that with any girl, let alone Vi. You didn’t know if it was a sudden rush of adrenaline or what, all that you did know was the feeling of Vi’s lips pressed against yours. You held the side of her cheek, as if she would leave if you let go. Vi was surprised, well that was before she responded with ten times the amount of force in the kiss. Almost straight up knocking you down, her hands falling to your shoulder and your waist. After a minute that felt way too long, she broke the kiss. Your insides felt crazy, you had never felt like this ever. Her smile was so wide as she stared into your eyes, your own expression just being plain shocked.

“…was that too much?” Vi asked, you shook your head maybe a bit too much. You started to smile, the warm feeling growing in your stomach. With only the smallest bit of hesitance she kissed you once more, well it was more like a hundred small kisses, but it lasted forever. Her hand that was planted on your waist gently moved upwards onto your ribcage, feeling your heart race. On the other hand, yours were stuck like they were weighed down with concrete. It was awkward, intense as well, she prodded her tongue onto your lips just a bit, as if asking for entrance. You separate your lips a smidge, her tongue quickly entering. It was awkward, you let out a few weird noises, she almost passed out from lack of oxygen. After breaking the kiss, you both sat there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do next.

“Uh… that was nice…” Vi says with a flushed face and a dorky smile. You nodded, you had never once expected to make out with anyone, let alone a girl. It was nice, very nice.

[frumdyke]

a breakdown of how i planned and managed this since ive had some people ask:

im writing this just after getting back from a new years eve party. i barely drunkn anything so in theory this should be pretty coherant. unfortunately i have an aversion to commas and apostrophes and also i say the word and way too much. this is gonna be a looong yap i have things to say. oh and the pictures and dates are from me searching through discord messages.

i started planning out the graph at the beginning of july (im going to tit in january.) i used flosscross because im a lil familiar with it but there are probably better programs to use for this because its meant for cross stitch not crochet. i ended up with 17 different colours plus the background. if you include the dark blue and magenta thats 20 separate yarns all together. heres the final graph i worked with (from my discord messages i think this was the 5th of july but i seem to remember spending at least a week on the graph)

before this the most complicated and only tapestry crochet i had done had only three colours so this was a big leap and i didnt know if it would actually work (note that i started crocheting in october 2023.) i knew i would have to keep everything very organised and i would spend most of the time untangling yarns. and i knew it was all gonna be floating yarn but i didnt know at the time that lots of floats and colour changes would make the project smaller. so the cardigan did come out quite tight across my shoulders.

next was gathering yarn. i pulled a few from my stash but most i had to buy. i went yarn shopping in person in two separate trips. i had the list of colours from flosscross which were all in cross stitch terms. as i got home with my first yarn haul i decided to print the colour list and taped some ends to it so i could compare

my printer didnt like this so the colours arent completely accurate. i went back to hobbycraft for more yarn and i had this paper in one hand and the pdf on my phone in the other and i was panicking because this didnt seem possible. i spent a couple hours lamenting that i wasnt in the usa where i have heard about the fabled joanns that has more than ten whole colours in most yarns. i wasnt confident enough to order online because i wanted to hold the yarns in my hand and directly compare the colours. i finally got together a selection of yarns the were good enough.

the plan was to go for all worsted acrylics because theres no way i could afford nice fibres for all these colours. as i went around the shop i realised i was just gonna have to get whatever colours would work and ignore the fibre make up because there is not enough choice of anything in british craft shops. i ended up with lots of different things but surprisingly the fancier fibres where all acrylic blends. so i got some nylon/acrylic some cotton/acrylic and some wool/acrylic. and some yarns were recommending 3.5mm or 3.25mm hooks but i decided to just ignore that and hope. by this point i had decided this was a complete experiment and if it didnt work out i could just learn cross stitch like a sane person would.

i laid out all my yarns and cried a bit because i did not anticipate how much planning i would have to do before i could start making shit. then i decided which yarn would correspond to which symbol on the chart and labelled them all. i was finally ready to start the actual crocheting part (10th july)

i printed the graph out so i could highlight as i went along and got going. here is how she looks now after its all done say hi

the tapestry part was extremely tedious and the yarns constantly got tangled. the rows were only 80 stitches long and some took me a whole hour each. i had to frog some parts but mostly i just left the mistakes in. my tension was really off because of the different yarns weights but i just said "im sure i can block it out" (i have never blocked anything before.) there are a huge amount of yarn tails on this thing so i didnt bother weaving threm in. i just tied them together so they wouldnt unravel and figured i could learn to sew a lining in to hide all the mess away. my number one takeaway from this is do not ever do a project that requires a double digit amount of yarns attached at once. it will suck and you will hate the process.

here are some progress pics. i wish i had taken more but i was quite fed up with the whole project by this point

i thought this was gonna turn out awful at had to fight the urge at multiple points. once i got to their faces i felt a bit better about it but then i got to phil's eyes and had a small breakdown. he is so pale and cool toned with cool toned hair wearing a cool toned outfit. his face and hair just all blends together and his eyes look a little demented here. dan has contrast between his face and hair so he turned out actually quite good.

anyway heres the finished tapestry part (12th august)

dans cheek bulges like that because the pink i used there is the heaviest weight. look at how cinched the middle is though. there were so many yarns being carried across. and the back is just fully spaghetti.

i immediately started planning the sleeves. i knew from the start i wanted them to say "terrible influence" but i had to decide whether it should read from the front or back. either way one side would end up reading "influence terrible". in the end i decided it should read correctly on the back and to also have the writing on the back of the arms so the front wouldnt look too out of wack.

i looked for some patterns online so i could get an idea of where the increases on the sleeves would be. i ended up with 77 rows for the sleeves and i thought "hmm thats seems kinda short but i shall trust the process" (spoiler alert it was too short.) then i went back into flosscross and drew out a whole sleeve and then stuck a big TERRIBLE on it. this part was annoying cus flosscross hides the copy + paste feature behind a paywall. so i had to draw out every letter individually. even the Rs which are literally repeated right next to each other. then i individually drew the magenta shadows in and tried to understand why i chose flosscross of all things to do this. i mirrored the sleeve and stuck an INFLUENCE and then realised id put it in the wrong place but luckily you can select and move bits around without paying.

i cant remember but i think this is when i did the front panels? i thought i did them after the sleeves but from the dates in discord it doesnt look like it. idk. i didnt really do much planning and i cant find any pictures so just imagine some plain blue crochet. i worked up the bottom section pretty fast and just estimated when to decrease by holding it up against my body. then i hated the shape i made so i frogged half of it and started the decreases way earlier and got a nice slope i was happy with.

then i actually made the sleeves. i had to frog the influence side because i realised i had drawn the shadows in wrong. i have some progress pics but i remember i was very excited to make the joke "ive made a terrible" and then never actually made the joke (first is 27th august and last is 10th september)

i sewed up the sleeves and shoulders and left it at that for a while. if you saw the wip photos i posted here for october 19th this is where i was up to. except this was still on 10th september

i took a break from this project started work on a jumper for my mum. that i had already been promising her for six months. that came out really small so i had to make some adjustments and ended up taking forever. i realised that my tension had probably gotten much tighter than when i made my previous jumpers. so the stitch counts i was working with were probably way off for both the jumper and the phardigan. i didnt do any gauge swatches and it shows.

at this point it was november. and i was still burnt out on the phardigan. in this break i bought a ticket to a third tit show. and also had some other life advancements like finally getting an insulin pump which i will never shut up about. i made a couple lil amigurumi creatures and then i was like okay im ready to get going. lets get this phardigan done.

the next step was to add a lining. so i thought maybe i should block it before then. i had no experience with blocking but i did my grandpa's steamer and some floor space. i did try pinning the project down to the towel but that didnt work. and i thought "hmmm perhaps it would best to wetblock this actually" but i didnt want to wait for it to dry. i was also very scared to kill the acrylic cus i wasnt sure how fried plastic would interact with the other fibres. so overall it was a very weak wimpy block. here she is anyway (7th december)

this was a rushed job but i had still spent too long sitting on the floor and my disabilities were playing up and i was struggling. so i half-arsed cutting up the pieces for the lining (i used a brushed cotton pillowcase in a close enough colour for this.) i didnt measure i just went for it. and then i realised my poor left handed brain cant cut a straight line on the best of days. but especially with heavy fabric scissors and an already aching body. yes i know rotary cutters exist. no i dont have one. anyway i forced my sister to cut out all the straight lines for me. i had one big piece that covered the back and went over the shoulders to cover the boobs too. the back was to hide all the yarn spaghetti but the boob lining was just so i could wear pins extra securely. i decided to leave the sleeves alone because the floats were short and the ends were neatly weaved in. then i laid out my big lining piece and folded over the raw edges and realised i hadnt actually factored in any seam allowance and it wouldnt cover the whole width. but i still went with it because i am lazy <3. i also cut out some pockets.

before i sewed the lining in i embroidered this little telly on the front. i thought the front was looking a little bare and it matches the tit set. haha tit set on my tits. look at her shes cute (8th december)

the lining is hand sewed. mostly because i have a comfier chair at my pc desk than the desk with my sewing machine and i couldnt be bothered with swiching them. also my sewing machine can only handle straight stitch at the moment. sad! anyways i did it all with a running stitch and doubled over some parts. i also discovered when i had done almost all the sewing that none of the right angles my sister cut out were actually right angles so i was adjusting the hem on the fly (8th december)

the hand sewing felt like it took ages but in reality was only a few days. at this point i was vibrating with excitement because the finish line was in sight. anyway look there are pockets (10th december)

look how curled those corners are. i am getting an awful grade in blocking

then i did the ribbing which is super easy. originally i had planned to do the ribbing in magenta but now after seeing more stuff about tit i think the blue fits much better with the colour theme. i went round the bottom edge in blo hdc and then did the front too with a little pause to figure out where to put the buttonholes (12th and then 23rd december)

notice theres a jump in the dates there. my brother very kindly gave me the flu and i was unable to get out of bed for a week. ive had the flu vaccine and it still hit me like a truck. pretty please dont infect your disabled friends im barely holding it together as it is. oh sidenote btw if any of you come up to me at tit without a mask on i might actually cry at you. please mask please mask please mask.

yah anyway i added more length to the sleeves. remember when i said the sleeves were too short? yeah i had to add 28 whole rows lol. i dont have any pictures because i did this while watching the doctor who xmas special (mid episode btw) but ill take one now because the phardigan is currently living under my pc desk. i did the extra rows in the round so theres a seam that suddenly disappears but i think it looks fine. and then the sleeve ribbing is sc instead if hdc because i wanted to cinch the cuff in a little bit but not too much. i also got to watch the new wallace and grommet film. i liked it but i had to explain to my sister who the penguin was??? she doesnt know any of the lore??

um so after the sleeves were done i just had to sew on the buttons and weave all the remaining ends in. and then it was fucking finished? just like that. at 22:14 on the 26th of december i sent this message

which was last thursday actually!? insane how time works. and then i posted this on friday and it somehow got 400 notes? it was weird when it was complete. it was like finishing a book. with that weird emptiness that comes with it.

i do have to thank everyone in the various phannie discord servers ive been sharing my progress in. ive had lots of people hype me up and cheer me on. one thousand kissies attack to all of you <3

im very glad this project actually worked. and that i dont have to learn cross stitch. because instead i just started learning to knit. which i am very excited about. last night i started learning colourwork and i am happy to report i havent had any insane ideas yet. but we will check in after ive done a big colourwork project and see how i feel then. maybe dnp will announce another tour and then i will have no choice but to make another phardigan.

um so thanks for reading i guess? im sure my rambling devolved towards the end there but im not reading it back 👍i dont think i hit image limit but i wouldnt be surprised if everything breaks when i press post. if anyone has questions please ask away i love yapping about this project. my ask box is open and waiting. its 6am now and lots of americans are wishing me a happy new year. 2024 was most definitely the year of the phannie and im hoping we can get a streak going. i love you, try new things, dont cry craft etc etc

THE PHARDIGAN IS FINISHED !!!!!!

now with a lining and pockets <3 so many hours spent on this thing im glad its done now

i will be wearing her at tit brighton and london so if you see me come say hi i promise im nicies

[cyprozombiegirl]

this is something of an odd question but- what does penetration feel like? can you describe it? thank you!

I spent like an entire hour trying to write a description of it on my old blog before it got nuked and I was very proud of that description because it is incredibly hard to describe. I’m going to try again, although admittedly this time put a little less effort in.

I’m going to start with how it differs from anal. With anal penetration there is a sort of feeling that whatever is inside you probably shouldn’t be there, this is sorta natural since the whole point of your ass being full is to shit. So with anal you sorta have this fullness that feels alien. You don’t get that same “oh something isn’t supposed to be there” feeling with a vagina. Instead when you’re vagina is full it feels natural, as though that space ways always intended to be full. Likewise, with anal there’s a sphincter that strictly delineates inside and outside, and entering an asshole is about forcing yourself through that barrier. This also isn’t a feeling you have with vaginal penetration. Certainly you can be tight at first, but there’s no “gate” that you push through and which constantly clamps down. This of course means you can pull completely out and go right back in in one swift movement, so it changes the possible moves you can do too.

Now that we have the negative description out of the way, aka what it isn’t. I will try and tell you what it is. First, you’re aware of your muscles around your vagina and you can flex them voluntarily, and they can also spasms involuntarily (If you want to successfully fake an orgasm one important aspect is flexing them as if they were spasming). Second and more ambiently, somehow very vaguely you know the size of your canal, but only when something is it. Sitting here right now, I can’t really sense the inside of my canal, but once something is in it, I can tell how far that object is in, and more interestingly, how much farther it could go in. As for the actual sensation, it is quite overwhelming. Something plunging in and out of you feels significantly more intense than that same skin being stroked when it was a penis. Although something being stationary in you doesn’t feel particularly good. The pleasure that comes is very difficult to physically locate (except for when the prostate is being hit). It sort of radiates out into your body from your hips/vaginal region. It’s a lot less well defined pleasure than when it was located clearly in your penis. In a weird way I think the best way I could describe it is like if you were giving someone a blowjob but each time the dick pushed into your mouth someone held a bottle of poppers to your nose. It’s like that. That is to say, a warm welcomeness in a wet area that you feel but don’t feel like the outside of your body, combined with a full bodied flushed pleasure

[zorange13]

— love island, enhypen edition

— enha as islanders x afab reader (maknae line) | hyung line

so grateful for all of the love on the hyung line version. i love all of you and i hope you liked this one just as much. i suffered a bit of writer's block while writing this. but we persevere!!

warnings/content. suggestive content, sigh…i got carried away on like all of these, misunderstanding trope (it’s not that bad i promise), slowburn, i watched to all the boys i’ve loved before and ever after high while writing this (so healing), not much just love island stuff, no casa amor for riki’s tho (don’t hate me, i just didn’t think it was necessary)

not proofread, bro i gotta start doing that omg

word count. 6.3k

inspired by the aot edition written by @rynfiles !!

Jungwon 양정원

not the eldest (duh), he is kinda the dad out of the group

also an og

wins a lot of fans over by his cute, boyish looks (ofc)

and don’t let him smile, omg THE DIMPLES????? yeah.

also another that people go to for advice for

but somehow the girls there don’t go for him because he seems to be too cute

like, he’s one of the younger ones there and most of the girls preferred the older, more experienced guys

the girls took care of him and almost babied him

to which he would never reject the attention of beautiful women!! (duh) but he didn’t want pity

so it kinda balances out in a way

even though he is such a worrywart, he does in fact know how to have fun and enjoys cracking jokes, playing lil innocent pranks, and having lil dance parties

bc it’s not like yall have your phones 

anyways

you were not an og so…a bombshell lmao

and needless to say, you had such a huge wall up and didn’t know how to even handle men after your last relationship

you had been cheated on…baddd

and coming on this show was just something that you didn’t think much into but one day you auditioned and never looked back

the producers said something about you would make good tv

so why not?

you came in during week 3!!

at this point, won was coupled up with one of the og girls

but it wasn’t really going anywhere and that was ok!!

you came in, not really expecting much

but the great thing was that you were like the only girl that was jungwon’s age

so immediately his head was turnt

the prods did that dumb thing where they have you go on a date with all of the guys to see which one you like more

basically you sit at a table and the guys just kind of microwave their ways from the table to wherever they came from

but ngl…none of them were your type like

jake…hot asf but eh

sunoo…stunning but he was too cute

heeseung…just no lmao

jay…that’s just the bro ngl

riki…yes!! but oh…he’s too young for your liking

so nothing really stuck

UNTIL!!

mr. yang jungwon sat across from you

he was also very hot and very cute 

but still…you couldn’t show your cards yet like 

you had to be a lil mysterious

“hi y/n, im jungwon” he stuck his hand out waiting for your handshake, waiting to sit

to which you liked, all the other dudes just sat down and waved or kissed you on the cheek before they sat

none of them bothered you, it was just nice that jungwon wanted your respect first

the date was genuinely fun!!

you didn’t think that you and him would have that much in common

from what you saw before you came in, he was such a dad

he was the type to serve himself last when they made dinner

the type to make sure the girls put on their sunscreen before their makeup

just very considerate and selfless

almost too much at times

because then he’d find that his food would either be cold

or that he wouldn’t get the portion or piece he wanted

or when he wanted the girls to put on their sunblock, he’d forget to put his on

and would have to get aloe from one of their bags

you, however, did not gaf

you didn’t care to step on toes

you didn’t care to hurt feelings or set boundaries bc you’ve spent so long trying to make others in your life feel comfortable

why?? bc why would you watch everyone around you get what they want except for you? no. (real shit)

selfishness isn’t terrible all the time

so after the date with jungwon, you honestly did enjoy his presence

and vice versa for him so you ended up chatting a lot more

and you guys actually ended up bonding over his current need to people please

and where you lied now with that

“idk, i just feel like i should always look out for people. it’s just how i was raised.”

“yeah, that’s great but when do you ever get what you need? you can’t pour from an empty cup, you know?”

he frowned, not from sadness but it more so exhibited thought. “i guess i’ve never thought of it like that. i just like to feel useful…i feel like when everyone is good then so am i. 

you smiled faintly, “nothing’s wrong with that at all, won. but if it’s at the expense of your own happiness or skimming your wants and needs, then that’s a problem. i’ve been there.”

“really?” he said, genuinely curious. “what happened?”

now you’re kinda mad you even let yourself get this comfortable with him this fast

but this was a time where you had to let yourself be vulnerable

i mean you did sign up for a dating show like cmon

“well…” you sighed, “my last relationship ended about a year and a half ago, and it was pretty rocky. i just thought i was doing everything right, like i was rearranging my schedule to see him. i used to write down everything that he told me that was worth remembering in case i wanted to surprise him with a gift. i’d even bite my tongue when something upset me because i didn’t want to make him upset. now that i think of it, i felt like i was just trying to shrink myself into this little box of what i felt love was and what he wanted me to be or something. but i equated his love to my worth and then my worth to how useful i was to people.”

he let you express yourself but as you did, he slid his hand across the couch cushion where your hand was. though he hesitated, not knowing if you were comfortable

you saw this and decided to be bold and inch your hand forward as well

his ears perked up at the sensation but before he could get totally flustered he spoke up, “so what made you guys break up?”

you smiled bitterly, “he cheated,”

“that’s awful, i’m so sorry. truly, you didn’t deserve that.” anger, then sadness flickered in his eyes

“i know that now, but the best things that i learned was one: never love a man more than he loves me. then two: selfishness and self-preservation isn’t so bad.”

“this is pretty hard for me to hear, but also i think i needed to hear it”

you scooted a little closer to him, “well, you have a cute girl sitting right here with more than enough selfishness to spare. maybe some of it will rub off on you.”

that had to be one of the most cathartic conversations you’ve both had

but from there, he actually started to do for himself more

he wouldn’t wait for everyone to get their food first

he made sure to put his sunblock on 

and now the only other thing that he wanted to worry about now was you

bringing you breakfast, water, making you food when you were hungry in the middle of day, massaging you when you slept funny

in turn, ironically enough you started to do more for the friends you’ve made

you did more favors, said yes but only because you wanted to

you both brought out great things in the each other and it showed

you came in very guarded

but now you were like a butterfly, wearing brighter colors, your natural hair, you didn’t put on as much makeup as before, you laughed more than you have in a long time

all of those things were amazing, putting effort into yourself and looking nice

but you started to feel like your old self and you were gonna embrace for now

you spent more time doing the other girl’s hair and makeup and that was the most fun!!

you and jake’s girl developed a close friendship too!!

when casa came, you also left him a note!!

“ok so i totally left but it’s only for a little bit, i promise!! take care of yourself while i’m out, ok? please promise me, i know i’m not actually there to see you make the promise but i trust you did lmao. don’t miss me too much, or do, because i’ll definitely be missing you. you’re my won and only. love, y/n”

his heart BURST

especially at that last part, so creative it wasn’t like he’s heard that one before

he holds up at casa

still, he’s just being himself

there was one girl in particular that was very into him

she didn’t come on too strong…

i lied i'm sorry she did

but he kept it respectful though!!

you know…arms length

he did genuinely like you and just wasn’t feeling it with the casa girl

he told her, literally right after rejecting her with a smile, “you’re a beautiful girl but my connection is depending on me and i’m doing the same with her. i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me and her.”

very cut and dry, straight to the point!!

until it wasn’t????

over at the villa, the girls received that godforsaken video of what the boys have been up to

all of the girls were in shock and jaws agape at what they were seeing

when it got to jungwon, all you saw was him and the girl sitting down one of the couches

that wasn’t pleasant to see but whatever

then he sat there, marvelous dimples on display and said, “you’re a beautiful girl, i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me…”

you were not only, confused but totally shocked

fans hateddd that the prods tried to sabotage like that!!

you’ve made it clear to him what you’ve been through and this was a little more than hurtful

the whole environment was a damn mess like 

some of the girls were crying because their guys weren’t acting right, others were confused

the casa boys tried to help and support the girls but like ew get away we don’t know you wtf

when jungwon came back, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt

but you were just so withdrawn

at the recoupling he didn’t bring anyone back which surprised you

when asked how you felt about it, you didn’t really have an answer

as days passed and you kept looking at jungwon, it was a reminder of the person you were a year and a half ago

he was tired of it and finally sat you down

“you were flirting with her, won” 

“what?” his brows furrowed, he looked at you like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world

“you said something about the girl being beautiful and that you’re gonna do what’s best for you.” rolled your eyes

he shook his head in disbelief, as in he was genuinely confused. “i never said that, wait no. i said that but that wasn’t what i said.”

after grabbing your given phone, seeing as you’re the one who it was sent to (conveniently), you both watched the video and jungwon legit burst out laughing

“ok, so they totally twisted the entire thing. what i said was something along the lines of—”

you cut him off, avoiding his eyes. “don’t lie, bro. if you liked the girl then that’s—”

“i don’t even know her! if i liked her i would’ve brought her back.”

“ok so if that was the case then what about me? what if you did like her then what was i supposed to do?”

“you know that’s not fair…”

you leaned back into the chair and huffed, folding your arms. “what did you say?”

“i said that our connection is strong and i want to do what’s best for me and you. i rejected her, i said i didn’t want her.”

you frowned, “i don’t believe you”

he knew you had trust issues, and understandably so. but with that all he could do was sigh, “i get it, you don’t trust me right now and i don’t blame you. that video was crazy but i swear to you—i never even considered her.”

you stayed quiet, folding your arms

he leaned forward, trying to bridge the gap

“what i said was, ‘i’m trying to do what's best for me and her.’ as in, us.” he gestured between you two

“so why even say that? why was it even twisted?”

“because i wanted to make it clear that i wasn’t wavering.” his tone soft, yet firm. “i wanted het to know she didn’t even have a chance. i was..i was hoping that you’d believe enough in me to see that.”

“it’s not just about believing you, won. it’s about what i saw with my eyes and heard with my ears. and it just reminded me of the shit that i wanted to leave behind.”

he leaned back with a sigh, “i didn’t come back to fight with you. i came back because i chose you. and i will keep choosing you, but you gotta trust me.”

“ok”

“ok?” he reached over to you to pull you in for a hug

but you stopped him before he could, “ok. just don’t let anything like this happen again. seriously.”

he nodded, “i promised and i’m gonna keep myself to it. i’m all in with you, baby and i will always choose you.” and you guys shared a gentle kiss

spoiler alert: he kept his promise!!

final 4!!

your last date was a picnic in a hidden garden, with fairy lights, a starry night, with a beautiful guitarist there to play cute mood music

his final speech: “when i came into this, i was so focused on making everyone happy that i lost sight of what really mattered. but with you, i learned that taking care of myself isn't selfish—it’s necessary. and you… you’ve shown me that it’s okay to do things for others, to give more than i ever thought i could. i know trust hasn't come easy for you. you’ve had to fight for it, and i’ve seen that. but i want you to know, the trust we’ve built, it means everything to me. it's not just about what we say; it’s what we’ve shown each other, day by day, that proves we’ve got something real. i don’t want to pretend i’ve got everything figured out, but i do know one thing: i’ve never felt this way before. and i want to keep building with you—slowly, carefully, but always toward something more.”

even though won was so beloved, you were the favorite between you both!!

“seeing her grow has been everythinggg” “they are so black cat and golden retriever” “love a good he fell first and harderrr” “these are my winners idc”

the prods hated that you guys were so loved

Sunoo 김선우

lowkey can see him as the host LMAOO

like he would be asking all the burning questions 

instigating

rolling his eyes at all the dumbasses in the villa

but as a contestant

he’d be a bombshell

i just see him being so sweet (i mean he alr is from my assumptions)

he gives me the couple that partners up like day one and stays solid through the rest of the show

everything about him is just very lighthearted like he’s just there to have fun!!

but when he sees you he’d know that he’d want you

this might sound crazy but just looking at all the other girls repulses him (love them tho!)

he makes it clear that he’s into you and honestly it kinda makes you…teehee

as he continues his journey in the villa he’s adopted as the sweetheart™

everyone goes to him when they wanna vent and just need a listening ear. 

another fan favorite: “bro where did they find this man” “OMGG a man that doesn’t play games and is actually not a literal pos ?/??//?? no way” “i need a man like sunoo in ways that are concerning to mankind”

you and him were talking at the beanbags one day and you were asking him why he seemed like he was too good to be true

“you just slept a lot”

“what does that mean?”

“because i’m the man of your dreams, so you like…manifested me”

you laughed, “shut up” you threw a loose pillow at his head

y’all would be like the boring couple

like gtfoh no one wants to see you two being IN LOVE

WE WANT DRAMA

it’s weird tho bc even tho y’all have been so solid, america kinda doesn’t believe you two

kinda like kendall and nicole like it just felt artificial

you would take losing challenges kinda hard because you were competitive 

sunoo, however, didn’t care but he cared because you did, they were just dumb challenges

were y’all in it for the money or…?

but there was genuine love between you two and it was weird when y’all were voted the fakest girl and guy

it just didn’t make sense, but maybe it was the editing of the show?

til this day you’re like 90% sure the prods sabotaged but it’s ok!!

he just looked at you with so much admiration

he’d help you with your hair if you needed it (only in the event that you were the last girl to get ready or if you were just moving extra slow)

he brought your breakfast like clockwork

he was there if you needed literally anything like it’s insane

when you girls had to leave for casa he was heartbroken

but fortunately, you did leave a note for him!!

“hi baby!! a part of me feels like you’re gonna be hurt  to read this but still we all had to go. i can’t wait to get back to you so we can catch up, i know it’s only gonna be a few days but you know how that feels like forever here. but still, all i’m gonna say is don’t be weird, use your best judgment, and make sure no one bugs out if you can help it. i’ll do the same. i left you a little keepsake, i’ll see you when i get back, precious!”

it’s so bittersweet because he loves the note and it’s like he can hear your voice as he reads it

but that’s the problem, he wishes you were actually here

but he looks across your vanity to see you left him his favorite perfume of yours in a sample just for him

would spray it on him and even spray it on the bed

when the casa girls came he was nice 

it made him sick to his stomach to see another girl sitting at your spot on the vanity table but he knew it was temporary (unless she was picked)

he kept it cute

unfortunately some of the other guys didn’t so he knew recoupling was gonna be a bloodbath

heeseung acting like an asshole

jake doing God knows what

sunoo kinda hated everything that came with love island

you, alongside the friends that he’s made, were the only truly enjoyable things that came with the experience

the useless drama gave him migraines

you ended up coming back with no one and he did the same

it was a happy night for you two 

he hated seeing the girls upset, as did you

but y’all were lowkey eating up the drama lmao

you guys didn’t make it to the final 4

you guys just barely made it in the votes

like out of the final 4, you guys were like 5th

tears

straight EMOTIONAL TEARS 

the couples that were left didn’t want to see you guys go

you guys were beloved still by fans

fans didn’t believe in you guys  until this moment

they were kinda sad that they didn’t bet on you guys earlier 

but you and sunoo didn’t gaf about the money or clout that you gonna get after

all that you needed were each other

Riki 西村力

he auditioned as a joke lmao

he was not betting on making it but when he got the email that was gonna be a contestant, he was shocked

but again, he’s young and turnt so why not

yolo yk?

riki was the youngest boy in the villa (og)

in general he wasn’t that experienced

he’s only ever had one girlfriend in comparison to the others

it didn’t take much for him to realize that

the girls that came in were all older than him and going for the older guys

but it didn’t take a blow at his pride

personally, he doesn’t find the appeal in women that were so much older

like they’re paying bills and he just graduated like

they have nothing in common

but as a person, he got comfortable with the other islanders very quickly and learned a lot about what women do and don’t like from the older sisters in the villa (kinda like bergie from s5)

“yes, riki, you have to flirt. pursue, you’re a man now. most girls will only take initiative to a certain extent, the rest is on you.”

“i know but…how?”

just asking questions, figuring things out blah blah

his relationship with the guys is still very much younger brother

they also give him advice on girls

it’s terrible but he makes note of it so he knows what to and what not to do

he plays stupid pranks on everyone to kill time

but after a while it gets boring when he sees everyone paired off and he’s kinda just…there

but never fear!!

he’s surprised the prods actually like him enough to send him a girl his age

well actually it wasn’t the prods it was the fans that begged for him to have someone (not like he knew that)

“he’s so young, y’all are dead wrong for not having girls his age” “poor riki :( he’s so lonely” “love island plz cast me”

when you walked in, of course he knew you were stunning

i mean, look at you!! just his type

so naturally, all of the islanders were interrogating you at the firepit

“so, y/n, what’s your type?”

you smiled, a little flustered but expecting it. “tall, funny, i like them slim, but like muscular? so i’d say lean?? yeah, lean is the right word. also funny, exciting! i never like to be bored.”

everyone laughed, “well you don’t have to worry about that here, trust.” [sunoo’s girl] said

“i know, i’ve been watching y’all” you say with a playful lilt

heeseung tilts his head, “really? so, who do you have your eyes on right now?” 

what a flirt i stg

you smiled, “not you”

to which that elicited a few laughs from the others, as well as him. “no seriously, anyone here catch your eye?”

you look to the boy sitting a few people down from you, “him”

he was dazed, half listening, and staring blankly at the wooden deck beneath his feet

the only thing that caught his attention was the fact that everyone was looking at him and that you called him out

“me?” he said, with some excitement

you nodded reciprocating, “yeah!”

jake intervened, “wait, how old are you?”

“riki’s age”

the islanders, sans you and riki, all ooooh’d and ahhhh’d 

[jake’s girl] grabbed your arm, locking hers with yours. “that’s so cute, well, we’ll leave you guys to it. you know, gotta give them space.” she looked around at everyone else with wide, indicative eyes. 

they all took hints and left, leaving you two just sitting there awkwardly

and i can’t say that y’all eventually found a groove because…you didn’t

it was so painfully awkward

it’s like all of those things that the girls spoke to him about just…left

but also when he would bring up things to talk about or would ask to see if you shared any interests, nothing clicked

“so do you like music?”

you smiled, “yeah…well who doesn’t like music?”

and vice versa

“do you like to watch tv?”

“of course,”

“cool! do you like anime?”

your shoulders slump, “i’ve tried to watch it, but i can’t seem to get into it. i watched the first season of hunterxhunter and—”

he laughed, “that’s because it’s hxh, that show is…strange. you gotta watch shit like death note, naruto–”

you groaned, “bro that show is mad long”

“you just need to skip all the filler episodes”

you stared at him blankly, “if i need a whole strategy guide to get through it, i’m not watching it”

“it’s a classic!”

wait…i take it back

there was SOMETHING

but somehow even after all of that he couldn’t get any further than just physical attraction

like he knew you were gorgeous but something about you felt dull

like there was nothing you guys had in common

a few days passed, but nothing. 

and you both tried so hard

riki felt so attracted to you, i’ve said it before and i’ll keep saying it

however, nothing stuck and it was really disappointing

you felt similarly so you were on the same page

however, you still didn’t see the appeal in dating anyone so much older

so in some way, riki was like all you had

and you hated the idea of using someone for convenience or obligation

you wanted to want him and for it to be real

in a confession, riki says, “it sounds so shallow to say this but, she checks off all of my boxes. stunning, 10/10. but i feel like nothing’s landing with us, you know? i want to get to know her but i feel like we’re just forcing it. and i don’t want her to feel like she has to settle for me either.”

fans felt him, but still just wanted you guys to work because they saw the potential!!

“but they look so good together!!” “a part of me is sad that there’s nothing there, but another part is kinda glad that riki is getting a taste of what love island and dating is like. it’s good for him.” 

so one night, you guys sat down and things finally came to a head

you guys were alone, all the other islanders kinda scattered throughout the villa and the yard space

“i’m just gonna be honest because i feel like you deserve that.”

he nodded curtly, waiting for you to finish, already anticipating what was coming

“i just don’t think this is working—and it’s not you! i just feel like we’re trying too hard. like you’re everything and more. funny, you’ve been really nice, you’re attractive, but i just feel like we’re missing something.”

there was a beat of silent but then his shoulders settled 

riki smiles, “it’s ok, i’ve been feeling the same way,”

your eyes bulged, “wait you too! omg, this sounds terrible but i’m so relieved wtf.” 

you both shared a laugh

you were both glad that the pressure to perform for one another was alleviated 

since then, things have been ok!!

you did couple up with each other 

mainly for the convenience, and you liked each other enough to not want the other to leave

you guys are hilarious and are sort of the comedic duo of the villa

you guys are kids in comparison to rest so…very childish

but not in an annoying way!!

sort of like spongebob and patrick

ok they’re annoying…

but THEY ARE FUNNY

you both express these feelings in confessionals:

riki: “since we talked about it, it feels different…like in a good way! there’s no pressure and we just vibe now, and i’d like to get to know her for real this time. i feel like i only know her on a friend level, which is nice. i want a friend first you know?”

you: “ok, so why is riki actually funny…? i’m honestly not sure how i missed all of those things the first time around. i feel like i was trying too hard to see if we’d work out and it’s made me miss all of the things that make him fun to be around.”

nonetheless the fans ate up yalls dynamic

but they were still skeptical like…

“...are we sure they’re just not too comfortable? i mean like i love their vibe but WE NEEDD THE ROMANCE” “my besties to lovers slowburn senses are tingling…” “i feel like they’re gonna realize they’re perfect for each other after all omggg”

the islanders couldn’t STAND yall omg

sabotaging challenges

messing up relay races

“you guys gotta stop plotting against us during these challenges” jake groaned as he wrung out his soaked tank top

“it’s just strategy, jakey” you and riki high five, as you then double over laughing

to which he watches you with a smile

but eventually…cracks started to show

when the nights were extra breezy and your dress didn’t cover you up that well, he gave you his jacket

he brought you breakfast every day and made sure jay didn’t put too much or too little of anything in or on whatever you wanted to eat

the way your smile lingered a little too long when he was teasing you

but of course, there’s cameras and fans see it!!

“bro they’re literally falling in love rn and they DONT EVEN KNOW IT” “this feels like the friends to lovers arc i didn’t know i needed” “riki’s smile when she was laughing???? yeah he’s gone”

and don’t kill me

but riki didn’t even peep his feelings until the godforsaken heart rate challenge

you dressed up as a referee: black and white striped crop top, low rise shorts, knee length socks, some cute converse, and of course a whistle

nothing too scandalous!!

you guys are young so no one is expecting a lot from either of you. it’s weird almost, you guys are like the little brother and sister to everyone

so you didn’t do anything extreme, just some funny one-liners.

until you got to riki…

saving the best for last, you sauntered toward him

the boys ooooo’d and playfully punched him; just guy stuff. gross. 

anyways!!!

you flung the string of you whistle around his neck and pulled him closer to you as you got on your knees in front of him

and said, “i think you’re my biggest rule breaker,”

not only were you pulling him physically, you were pulling him in every other way possible

his eyes physically couldn’t leave yours

his heart was beating out of his chest and you hadn’t even really touched him

you pulled him in with your laugh

you pulled him in with your silly little remarks and jabs

and now you were pulling him in with this cheap ass whistle

he smiles, as awestruck as can be, “what rule did i break?”

“you stole my heart”

you’ve never been this bold before

but you did pull him closer, whistle string still around his neck and now his eyes low. almost intoxicated by you

“and you got mine”

wait you didn’t think he’d respond RIGHT THERE ??? WAIT

luckily no one else heard exactly what he said

but you’re like 80% y’alls mics picked it up

STILL so corny, so cheesy, but oh so true

you ended up racing his heart the most!! (duh)

after everything, you guys ended up debriefing…

you guys sat down at the dock and sort of were reliving the chaos that just left you both

then when it got to you, “oh i didn’t know you even had that in you” he lightly hit your knee

you grabbed his hand as you laughed, completely oblivious to the tingling feeling in your stomach

“me neither! i mean it was crazy!! i’ve never been stared at for so long before”

“it was well deserved, especially what your ass put me through!”

you kinda gagged at that, some idiotic part of you was hoping that he just forgot or MAYBE wouldn’t mention it. thus, you ignored what he said and hoped he wouldn’t repeat it.

if you ignore it, it will go away

“do you really think i stole your heart?” he asked

“don’t bring that up! i was just trying to win the game”

he sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes, “shut up! you meant that shit, and i meant what i said too”

you looked around, “you’re serious?”

he nodded, reaching for your hand. “as a heart attack.”

your breath caught for a moment, and you weren’t sure what to say

your relationship with riki had been so playful and friendly (as far as you know it) for as long as you met him

yes, you meant what you said in the challenge but there really isn’t much you guys had in common.

i mean, you guys tried to find commonalities and things to bond over and it didn’t go anywhere

“that’s great, riki. but i just don’t want this to end up like how it was before. like it was so awkward and weird and i don’t want this to ruin us.”

his thumb brushed against your hand, sending sparks through it, “believe me, i know,” he snickered. “but this feels different now though, doesn’t it? i think so.”

you leaned back in thought, “it does, i…like the way this feels. but what if we mess this up again? what if we get—i just don’t want us to not be us again.”

he scoots a little closer to you, your legs now touching. his grabs your leg and placed it over his lap. “then let’s keep it simple,” 

you were a little startled by the intimacy but you maintained your cool when you saw that knowing, gentle smile play on his lips. “simple?”

“yeah,” his hand rested lightly on your shin. “think about it, we tried to be romantic without even knowing each other. now, i know you. i know you more than anyone i’ve known ever. even all 20 of your favorite colors. your favorite rom-coms, i even know your skincare routine in order.” he laughed, “at this point, nothing can bring us back to that.”

“and if it does?” you asked softly, eyes now meeting his own.

his hand slowly moved up and down your shin. “then break my heart. break it into a million pieces.” 

your ears perked up, “wait–you watched–you’re so lame! you watched to all the boys and didn’t even—”

he laughed, “shut up,” before he rested his hand on your cheeks and pulled you into the sweetest kiss you’d ever imagined

maybe being with riki didn’t seem so impossible after all

fans loved you guys!!

“i just love the childlike innocence that they bring to the sluttery of his show” “just a breath of fresh air honestly” “THE SLOW BURN BURNED I TOLD YALL” 

y’all made it to the final 4!!

the final date was something simple; honestly you both appreciated something chill in contrary to the hooliganism that you guys underwent everyday

the prods set up a stunning outdoor setup: a cozy blanket laid out in the middle of a private field with fairy lights strung on nearby trees, a telescope angled at the sky, and a basket of their favorite snacks.

ooh! and there was a special smores kit right next to card decks. 

playing cards, uno (you both avoided that one; no need to start arguing on a date), truth or dare

but his final speech, brace yourself:

“coming into this, i didn’t think i’d get attached to anyone. i thought it’d be fun, a chance to just...be myself and enjoy the ride. and for a while, it was just that. but then,” he paused, looking directly at you “you came along. and everything changed. at first, i thought we couldn’t be more different. we didn’t even make sense on paper, like literally the only thing that we had in common was our age. but then you started pulling me in—in every way possible. your laugh, your little comments, the way you carried yourself. i was hooked before i even realized it. and yeah, it wasn’t perfect, we had our awkward moments. but every time, we found our way back to something real. something i didn’t know i needed until it was right in front of me. i know i joke around a lot, but when i think about what you’ve given me—your time, your patience, your trust—it’s not something i take lightly. you’ve made me want to be better, not just for you, but for myself. so, if i’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that love isn’t about finding someone who fits into your life perfectly or someone who likes everything you do. it’s about finding someone who just gets you and someone you’re willing to do things for. all because they’re worth it— and you’re so, so worth it. every awkward moment, every stupid rom-com i watched secretly because i knew you liked it, every marshmallow i burned trying to impress you. all of it. so, whether we win or not tonight, i already know what i’ve gained. you’re my best friend, now lover. you’re my world now, i love you, and i’ll do whatever i need to, to make sure that you’re reminded of it everyday.”

we all know who ended up winning

but still you guys are so beloved 

and you even brought a younger audience to love island!!

granted you guys are so happy and get a ton of opportunities now

you’re a brand ambassador for your favorite clothing brand

riki and you also have your own brand deals together and those photoshoots are so much fun!!

you guys also stream and crash out over cod and fortnite together

couples that crash out together, stay together <3

Copyright: © zorange13. 2024. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.

taglist: @brxght-world @aruumyne @cara9065

[solar4seekstron]

Plan F - Doubledealer

TF1!Megatron x Cybertronian!GN!Reader

Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, Plan D, Plan E, Plan G, Plan H, Plan I, Plan J, Plan K, Plan L, Plan M, Plan N

Content: 18+, Doubledealer x reader, Back to Megatron x Reader at end. Reader is just trying to protect Locket.

TW/Tags: Basically Doubledealer x reader in this chapter, Megatron x reader any end and at some point, Another Forced Relationship, Reader needs sleep, Locket is so done with Doubledealers bs, Flashback, Swearing, attempted rape, death, angst, unhappy ending, I think that’s all? Probably missed something lol.

Notes: Don’t know if I mentioned send before but Doubledealer is a little shorter than Megatron but still taller than the reader.

You sat there. Shaking as so much goes through your mind. Little Locket in your arms sleeping peacefully. If you were any other life form, you’d have bags under your optics.

Forced to be the partner of someone else. Shooting your Conjunx in front of you and your sparkling. Primus the way things lead up to this is unbelievable.

You glanced next to you. Seeing Doubledealer sleeping peacefully on his back.

You then looked down at the little locket. Her helm and little cervos are on your chest while your cervos and arm try to cover her while also keeping her close. You haven’t slept. Something that hasn’t changed since Doubledealer took over. You sat there for a little while longer before glancing at the door.

Knowing there are guards on the other side. You let out a sigh and stood up. Walking to the cleaning area in your room.

You look at the mirror see your sad expression and lockets back as she continues to sleep. You then looked down. Letting out a sad sigh and tried to think about the good times you and D-16 had.

With and without Elita and Orion. His smile and everything. You then sat in a chair as Locket soon woke up from her sleep due to a nightmare.

You started to comfort her and closed your optics once more while you gently rocked her. Thinking about your past more and more as time passes. Hoping Locket's small cries don't wake up Doubledealer.

-Flashaback-

It was a few days after D was your patient and you finally gave him the ok to leave.

He didn’t seem all that too happy but understood he needed to work to make up for some money for energon.

One day, while you were making reports for the survivors after they spent some time flirting with you. You then heard a knock while in the patient room. You thought it might’ve been ratchet since you knew he was in the room next door taking care of another patient.

When you turned, still looking down at your data pad. You then spoke. “Ratchet, I looked over this report and can you give a second opinion over this diagram and-“

”Uh- I ain’t Ratchet.” You were startled a little by his voice. Damn that voice- You looked up to see D with a nervous smile. Scratching the back of his helm. He then walked over as he spoke. “Um. Thought I come and see if you’re up for that drink?”

You were surprised and let out a soft chuckle. Nodding and sending the notes on the data pad to Ratchet then setting it down. “Sure. What place were you thinking?”

D then glanced away for a moment. Seeming nervous. You have a soft smile on your dermas. It then cuts to you and him sitting in chairs on a roof. Where the view of the Iacon 5000 race is shown.

A storage room next door. An abandoned table set for you both. At least someone tried cleaning it.

D was shaking and continued to nervously smile as he looked at you and glanced at the floor and back to the side before looking at you. You weren’t too bothered.

Not like you miners can afford to get good energon anywhere fancy.

Orion then appeared trying to make a cool entrance by jumping off the storage rooms roof. Only to fail and land next to the table. You and D looking at him worried.

It was silent for a moment while Orion took his time standing up. Struggling at first.

Dusting off his arm and lap with a smile. Then fixes up his store-bought tie also made out of metal. Then walked to a large rock and picked it up. Two plates of energon are behind it.

He then brought them to you both. Placing a plate in front of you both along with drinks that were in the storage room.

Placing the kups next to the plates and pouring in some energon then holding the bottle as brings his digits to his dermas. Then saying Muah! Before speaking. “Bon Appétit”.

You were watching him the whole time.

Then chuckled when he was done and said thank you to him while he skipped away to into the storage room.

D has had the side of his helm on his cervo while looking in the opposite direction with an annoyed expression.

You then looked at him and gave a soft smile. Placing a cervo over his, this making him look at you. His optics were nervous. You then spoke.

”I don’t know about you, but this is the nicest date I’ve ever been on.” You then grabbed some energon, eating it as your other cervo remained on his on the table. D just stared at you for another moment before doing the same with his other cervo.

You then spoke again after a moment of silence between you both. “So, Orion offered to help. I assume?”

D choked on his energon a little and spoke as his cervos grabbed his drink. “I- Well yeah- I mean he offered. I wasn't for- I mean sure about it. I just thought maybe if I kept working then I could afford a better…Restaurant you know?”

At the end of that sentence, Orion can be seen in the background on his back.

His upper half was out of the room while Elita was strangling him and he was trying to keep her from seeing them. Elita then pulled him back in. D soon continued. “But Orion convinced me that since we’re all miners. I can only do so much that I can?”

You let out a soft chuckle. Your cervo gently squeezes the top of his. “Well..”

Orion is then seen to have his upper body being thrown over the window and then being pulled back in with a scream.

“This is honestly more than I can ever ask for. And…I look forward to the…Next ones?” Orion is then at the window again. screaming help- HELP!” Before being pulled back in again.

Ds cervo then turning you hold yours in his palm. You both now holding hands in the middle of the table.

Speaking as he finally has a calmer and genuine smile and soft optics as they brighten a bit. “Me too.”

You both then leaned forward a little as you both stared into each other's optics. Love in both your optics.

Orion is then seen crawling out slowly as he struggles to breathe before being pulled back into the room with another scream. Elita is heard in the storage room saying. “Get back here!!!”.

D then speaking. His expression remaining the same as he tilted his helm to the storage room but back to you. “We should probably help him out.”

You let out a hum and spoke once more. “He can handle it for a little longer.”

Ds grin growing wider and he lies out a deep chuckle.

You both lean back a little in your seats. Him drinking his energon while you ate another piece of energon while continuing to stare at each other. Orion's screams are being heard more.

That night was a good night.

-End of Flashback-

You had a smile on your dermas. Your optics closed and Locket was able to finally calm down. A smile on her little dermas as well. But. That’s until you feel someone taking her from your arms. This instantly made you wake up.

You looked up and saw Doubledealer gently holding her with a smile. He then started to walk to her crib. You are behind him watching as he puts her in her crib.

You then stand still when he turns to face you. Looking down at you with a smirk.

His cervos then gently held and rubbed your arms. Up and down as his helm leaned down. His forhelm pressed against yours. He then speaks in a low voice.

“Very nice of you sweetspark. But if I’m going to be a good sire for locket. I need to take a little more responsibility.”

You tried to back up, but his cervos held you still. He then stood straighter and with one cervo still holding your arm. He brought you with him back to the berth.

You look back at Locket who continued to sleep peacefully.

You and Doubledealer laying down together. Him making sure the side of your frame is against his so your helm will be on his chest.

His arm around you and your lower half between his legs. He sat up a little while his other cervo lay behind his helm. he let out a soft chuckle as he spoke.

“You should really stop babying her. She might grow soft…Like her carrier” He meant in a cruel tone

You just kept looking down. Your optics then close as you try to sleep. But the cervo once behind his helm moved to hold your chin. Making you look up at him.

Your optics tired as he stared down at you. “Tell me. When’s the last time that old brute gave you a good fragging hm? Maybe you need a…Oh I don’t know. A real but to show you a good time hm?”

Your optics widened a bit and you tried to pull away. But he wouldn’t let you.

He then leans closer. You felt his dermas press harshly against yours. Keeping you still for a moment longer. You tried your best to not cry out for him to stop. But you can’t help but think. He’s so different from Megatron.

He gave you more freedom. To walk around the ship.

Speaking to whom ever you wished. But doesn't truly seem that interesting with Locket.

Not to mention he flirts with the other nutural and femme bots in his team and the high guard. But he always says scrap like you being his main one. You doubt it though.

While the kiss continued, your cervos moved to bee against his chest.

You then tried to make the effort to push him away. He seemed to get annoyed and confused. His optic ridges furrowed as he stared down at you. The speaking.

”I treat you better than even Megatron does! Why must you be so difficult?!” He held you tightly with a large frown on his dermas.

You spoke finally while your cervos continued to press harshly against his chest.

”You are no different from Megatron. And as much as you like to tell yourself this. You both only care about power. And see me as some sort of desire!” Your pede then lifted up and kicked him from the side of his helm.

But while he let you go for a moment. But was quick to grab you once more and pinning you down.

You continue to try to kick him off you. But he has a bigger bot than you. Your wrists are pinned to the side of your helm. Doubledealer stared down at you as he watched you struggle.

He then spoke in a low voice. Whispering roughly. “Keep your damn voice down. Don’t wish for Locket to wake up to her carrier acting like a damn glitch!”

You continue to struggle. Your legs kicking at him. You then get horrible flashbacks of when Megatron would do this to you.

But…rougher…As you continue Doubledealer just lets out an annoyed sigh and slowly sits up. His optics almost seem softer as he seems to be deep in thought.

He would let go of one of your cervos and move it to gently hold your cheek. Your free cervo moves to grab and pull at his arm. Then start hitting at his chest. You then say in a yelled whisper. “Let me go!!!”

He continues to just lightly sit over your legs. Soon letting out a sigh and looked to the side. Then having a grin on his face and stares down at you with a glare.

Getting off you and letting you go. But as you sat up and were about to move towards Locket, he grabbed your arms from behind bringing you back to him.

Pressed against his frame while you continue to struggle. His helm next to yours.

You are between his legs while your back is against the front of his frame. His arms then wrap around you to hold you tightly.

You felt his dermas against your shoulder while you keep struggling.

After a couple of minutes. You slowly calmed down. Small tears fell once more. All you can do is cry.

You then feel his grip on you loosen a little but still keep you against him. His helm lifts a little so he speaks next to your audio sensors. “I may be a lot like him. But at least..” One of his cervos moved to rest on your stomach just over your pelvis.

You then get a shiver up your spine as he continues to speak. “If I am to lead with the “lords” former Conjunx. I should create an heir for the new cause. Giving life to children of the strongest bots in this ship I such an honor when you think about it. Wouldn’t you agree?”

You felt yourself shake. This guy is fucking sick.

He waits for you to speak. But you remained quiet as you looked down. His cervo over your stomach starts to gently rub up and down. He then spoke once more.

“Maybe..tonight. It’s already dawn it seems. So let’s make this relationship work. Locket becomes a general. Hm and our sparkling.”

His arms still around you soon squeezed you tighter against his frame. “Will become the new lord. I would be so happy if they became a neutral bot like my lovely Conjunx.”

He whispered in a seductive tone. Your tears were now done as you stared into space.

Wide optics while you imagine it. Locket becomes a cruel ruler over an army. While this sickos sparkling will be a lord over the planet. No…Not your sparkling. And you sure as hell won't bring another life into this world just to suffer.

Doubledealer continues to look at you and lets out a soft sigh. His dermas pressing soft kisses against the side of your neck. His optics closed while he remained close to you. Your frame limped against his.

This makes him think that you gave up. He continues until he gets a comm from one of his assassin bots.

Saying it’s time to start his speech. You will be there with your sparkling as to create an image for yourself and the new bots who chose to join during these past few weeks.

You then felt him get up off the berth. His arms were no longer around you while he took the call. You sitting there in defeat. At least that’s what he thinks.

You just drowned out the sound of his voice while he was taking the call. After a few minutes of standing there with your optics closed. You then heard him say your name.

“Now start getting yourself polished and locket ready when she awakens. We have a very important meeting to get to.”

You looked so out of it. Being up all night. Your helm low as your optics showed you have been crying.

Doubledealer walked out with a grin and could be heard talking to a guard on the other side of the door once it closed behind him.

You then looked over at the locket and let out a sigh.

Slowly getting off the berth and stood. Making your way to her. She had her little cervos clenched and they were close to her cheeks.

A small frown on her dermas while her optics remained closed and her little legs lifted to be closer to her body.

You watched her for a moment then closed your optics. Imagining her grown up and looking over the horizon on the surface of Cybertron.

With a smile and bright yellow optics outshining the sky. A strong capable warrior.

She soon turned her helm and frame toward someone. You. With reassuring optics along with a smile that grew wider.

When you opened your optics you then see that she had her little optics opened, soon giggling and reaching for you.

You gently picked her up and made your way back to the cleaning room. You get to work for both you and her to look nice…and clean.

-Time skip: Throne Room-

You sat there with a blank expression. Sitting on the arm of the throne while Doubledealer sat in it. Locket sitting on your lap. Hugging you with her little arms trying to get away from Doubledealer as much as she can.

Doubledealer was speaking to the bots who decided to join saying how he’ll be a great leader. Feeling his cervo running your lower back.

Your legs dangling off the arm of the throne. Your knees were made to turn towards him. So the bots in the room see the side of your frame. Same for Locket who kept her optics closed.

You tried your best to keep her from getting fussy. Doubledealer would chuckle when he made a joke and all the other bots laughed.

You held in your tears tightly. You thought hard. Today is the day Megatron and his most loyal followers die…And Doubledealer already made it clear for this day. That you will watch. But nothing will stop you from not letting Locket watch….

Even if he punishes you for you. The sick bastard.

As the hours went by everything was set to create a new cause and destroy the first leader. Doubledealer at one point before giving the word to bring Megatron and the others in made a very important choice.

You continued to hold Locket closely while her little chin rested on top of your chest. Her optics closed.

Doubledealer then set his cervos around your little frame and pulled her from your arms. You tried to reach but when he gave you a glare. You instantly stopped.

He then set her on his lap while she tried reaching for you and hitting and pushing at Doubledealer. Letting out little grunts with angry optics.

Doubledealer let out a deep chuckle and kept her there while he spoke.

“This little one will be a great general to lead this army's cause. So. Make sure to treat her like royalty throughout the years….Understood?”

All the bots nodded their helms while Locket continued to hit at his cervos and lower stomach. Doubledealer looked down at her with a smile and narrowed optics.

All you can do is sit there with worried optics.

Doubledealer than making the order to bring in the prisoners. You watched as the doors opened. Soundwave, Shockwave, Starscream, and a ew other seekers and guards walking with with mouth guards on to shut them up.

Their cervos are tied behind thier backs. All are being dragged in by many bots and then thrown in front of the throne.

Then as last but not least. Three bots came in dragging Megatron in. Having a mouth guard on and cervos tied behind him as he’s thrown in front of the throne as well.

Slowly he got on his knees and glared at Doubledealer. You looking at him with wide optics.

When he glanced at you, his optics showed almost worry and anger.

He then looked back at Doubledealer. Who kept one cervo around and held Locket? Who was reaching and crying out for him? Still hitting and grabbing at Doubledealers larger cervo.

Doubledealers other cervo now rested on your thighs. You visibly shaking a little while he seemed relaxed on the throne.

He finally spoke while glaring down at Megatron. “Happy to see them. Aren’t you” He paused for a moment.

“Traitor.”

Megatron visibly more angry now., slowly stood up back on his feet until a yard hit him on the back of his helm making him get back on his knees.

You stared in horror while Megatron tried to yell through the mouthguards. His optics were angry.

But he and his other followers just laughed at him. You then noticed Soundwave and Starscream looking at you. Able to tell what they’re feeling. You tried to think. Hard.

Doubledealer then speaking. “You and your followers will be adding examples of for My army. And will be remembered as such. Oh. And don’t worry Megatron. I’ll take good care of Y/N and Locket. Be sure Locket grows up to be a great general…..”

Megatron continues to glare at him. Waiting for him to finish.

“Alongside her sibling who’ll be such a great Lord.” He said with a devilish grin. Megatron becoming more angry. Quickly knowing what he meant by sibling.

Megatron then tried to get up again but two bots made sure to keep him down on his knees.

The tears became harder to hold in and Doubledealer just smiled at him. You were able to get an idea of what you can do. To at least by time.

And so. Swallowing your pride. You made a move you know is certain to work. Your frame turned more to face Doubledealer as he was about to speak once more. Stopping when he felt your cervo placed against his chest. His helm turned to look at you.

You then spoke. Trying to be as calm as you can while Locket continues to reach for her sire. Megatron looks at her with worry then looks back at you.

“Doubledealer, please. At least let Locket…and I say our goodbyes to Megatron. Locket needs that closer with her sire…Before..she…”

You sighed. “She gets a new one. Please.” Your optics show desperation as you look at him. The bots in the room whispering to each other. Doubledealer continued to stare at you and then looked back at Megatron for a moment.

He sighed and the cervo that was once on your thigh was now on your lower back. He then looked at Locket. Finally speaking he stared back at you.

“Very well, say your goodbyes and the execution will proceed.”

You nodded and got off the throne. Taking Locket off his lap and make your way to Megatron. He watched as Doubledealer did.

Kneeling down before him. Little Locket reached and grabbed at his mouthguard. Megatron stared down at her with softer optics. You glanced back at Doubledealer. Asking for permission. He just sighed and waved his cervo to show him acceptance.

You then look back at Megatron. His optics looking at you the same way he looked at Locket. You then took off his mouthguard.

Megatron intake then opened and moved his lower jaw.

Stretching it out a bit. He then stared back at you. Your optics show to be sad as well. You both then looked at Locket who was standing between you both. Letting out coos and reaching for him.

Megatron leaned down a bit so she could gently hold his chin. She smiled so brightly. You’d let out a soft sigh. Your cervo moving to hold the side of his helm. He then looked at you. You both then close your optics and press each other forhelms together.

You then set your cervo to be on his shoulder as he whispered to where only you can hear him.

“Shield Locket. Soundwave will get me out. Understood?” You thought for only a second until you leaned forward. Your dermas against his as understanding without making it obvious.

Doubledealer got angry and stood up and he spoke angrily.

“That’s enough time for the both of you! Return to me!” You and Megatron stared at each other once more.

You then picked up Locket. Who started to cry for her sire. Reaching for him. Megatron leaned forward a bit so her little cervos could touch him. You then walked to Doubledealer. Unashamed of what you just did.

Doubledealer looked really angry as you got close to him in front of the throne. One of his cervos grabs at the side of your waist. His frame turned to face you as he spoke angrily. Locket hid her face in your chest as she cried for her sire. Still refusing to look at Doubledealer.

“What the hell was that?! Cheating on me when I’ve been nothing but loyal?” You know that’s a lie ever since he forced you to bond with him.

But this argument is part of your crazy plan. Distracting him long enough for Soundwave to gain enough energy and send in a powerful force to release everyone.

You responded to anger him more.

“Wouldn’t you want your Conjunx or someone you truly love to give you your final loving kiss if you were on the brink of death?”

He stared at you and let out an annoyed groan. Keeping you close while he raised his cervo. The bots standing then pointing their guns right at the prisoner's helm. Ready to shoot on command. While holding Locket with one arm.

The other holding the back of her helm to keep her from looking.

Then telling her to turn off her audio sensors so she wouldn't hear the shooting. She does and just stares at the paintings on the walls of the ship in pure silence.

You stood there as Doubledealer was about to put his cervo down.

That is until Soundwaves blaster of sound soon releases the cuffs and frees Megatron and Starscream who are in front of him.

The blast also blows the guards away before they can shoot anyone in front of them. Doubledealer moved in front of you and Locket. Giving the order to the other guards to start shooting. But the blast was able to release the others and soon there was another fight.

Doubledealer then grabs your cervo and runs out of the throne room.

Megatron can be heard yelling as Doubledealer followers try to deal with him. When he believed you guys got to a far distance in a locked room.

He pressed you harshly by the shoulders while still holding Locket, who was still crying against your chest. Wanting her sire.

He then spoke in an angry tone. “You knew this would happen, didn’t you? Helping that bastard escape? You’re a terrible Conjunx. But don’t worry. When I’ve dealt with him. I’ll teach you a good lesson on why you should never betray me. Especially as a Conjunx. Understood!”

You just stared at him point-blank. Then turn your helm away. He growled then got a comm. You heard it too. They were able to get Megatron and his followers down in a blackmail situation.

Your optics widened in fear. It was all not worth it in the end.

Doubledealer then called for a guard. Letting you go as he unlocked the door. A guard came in after a minute. Doubledealer then walks up to you and takes Locket from your arm.

You tried to take her back without hurting her. But you couldn’t. He then gave her to the guard telling them to watch her.

Locket reached for you as she cried. The door then closed behind the guard. Doubledealer was fuming. He then walked up to you and roughly grabbed your arms. Making your frame slam against his.

His dermas roughly kissing yours. Then while his dermas remained against yours. He angrily spoke in a deep whisper voice.

“You should really learn to obey me better my sweet little Conjunx!”

You started to shake. Primus did you even do the right thing?! You then felt his dermas roughly kissing the side of your neck. His cervos then move to be under your things lifting you up. He walked to press you against the wall. All his movements were rough.

You tried your best to push him away. Only to struggle while he tried forcing your panel open. He angrily whispered next to your audio sensors.

“Time to start making the next lord on the day one dies. So poetic. Don’t you think?” He continued. Trying your best to smack him away.

Praying to Primus to be saved. You can’t bring another life into this world only to suffer. He continued until you then heard two loud steps getting closer and closer. Doublledealer didn’t seem to hear them since he was the one doing most of the action.

Hearing his moans and kisses against your frame. You shut your optics.

Crying once more begging for him to stop. Before you knew it though Doubledeale was then grabbing from behind and was taken off you. You fell on your aft when he was separated from you.

You then looked in horror as Megatron stood tall over Doubledealer with an angry expression. Doubledealer looks up in fear as Megatron starts to beat the living hell out of him. Beating him into the ground while you still sat there.

Your optics are wide, while Doubledealers energon blood started to spread on the floor. You were shaking.

You then turned your helmet away. Make your optics close tightly and cover your audio sensors. Moments went by until anything became silent once him. You kept your frame turned away and your optics closed. Shaking more and more every second.

You flinched when you felt a large cervo on your shoulder.

You kept still to not get hurt. But the cervo once on your shoulder moved to hold your chin. Make your helm turn and face the bot. You slowly opened your optics. Seeing it’s Megatron.

For the first time, his optics were…well almost soft and full of sadness and worry. He was covered in blood while he kneeled down before you.

You then spoke in a soft voice. “My..My Lord.”

‘He then spoke. His voice is actually soft. “Sorry that it took me so long sweetspark.” He then helped you stand up as you both held optic contact.

His cervos then held your waist as you spoke. Your cervos move to rest on his arms instead of his chest. “You..came for me. Wait Locket! That guard still has her!” Megatron let out a chuckle and held onto you tighter as he spoke.

“Soundwave and Starscream have her. They’re watching her now while I came to save you. She’s alright sweetspark.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You then felt Megatron grab the back of your helmet. Making you stay looking up at him. His dermas against yours almost aggressively. Forcing his glossa in as he engages into a heated kiss with you.

It lasted for a good while until he decided to finally pull away. Letting out a satisfied sigh while staring down at you. You just stared up at him when he spoke.

“Being in-prisoned made me think a lot you know?” You looked at him confused. But then felt his grip on you get tighter. He then finished his sentence. “While you remain by my side. You will just make Locket week. We need to fix that.”

Your optics were wide. No no no no no! You pressed your cervos against his arms and then his chest as you grew worried and scared.

“No No NO! Megatron you can’t do this. She is my sparkling. Our Sparkling! Please don’t separate me from her!” Your voice got louder until he grew annoyed. He soon spoke once more.

“You will still be her carrier. But in order for her to be the next heir. She must learn to be strong like her sire. Not weak. That’s my final decision Y/N-.”’ You slapped him. Hard. Tears running down as you looked at his shocked expression when he looked back at you.

“You will not take my Sparkling away from Me!!!! Not you or anyone will take her away from me! She’s the only thing that is you. Him! My D-16 before you changed! You will not take what I have felt of my true Conjunx away from me!!!” He just stared at you in shock. Taking in your words. His face full of confusion.

You then turned to the door to get your sparkling. But Megatrons arms wrapped around harshly around you and kept you in place while you screamed.

“LET ME GO. I HAVE TO SEE MY SPARKLING!!! YOU CAN’T TAKE HER FROM ME. YOU CAN’T! YOU CAN’T!”

Megatron just stood there for a moment. Then getting on his knees as he keeps holding you. You continuing to scream and cry for your sparkling. Who was peacefully sleeping in Soundwaves arms in another room down the hall?

You continue. Megatrons expression blank while he stared forward. His expression even seems unsure. You continue on and on. Thinking about her so much.

Slowly your body giving up from escaping his grasp after a few minutes went by, Crying in his arms begging to see her.

You got out of the dangerous situation. Only to back with the first one. Your life truly has changed. Just like your old Conjunx.

Yeah I REALLY got carried away with this one. I swear this can fit into a whole episode. I’m pretty proud of this one and can’t wait to get to continuing with the last two parts of the story and hope you guys enjoyed this one!!!

As always a repost is appreciated and Hope you guys have a good rest of your day! Before and so forth will be released in a couple hours I just wanna get a few more touchups cause I’m really sad to see the series go before I split it to two different timelines, but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited! See you guys then!

[r0tting-rat]

"Too much?"

A little gift for @/ping-ski, who is driving me absolutely mad with their Sugar Daddy!Eclipse to the point I couldn't help but to write down a short drabble. Some details below for those who aren't familiar with their wonderful au (GO CHECK IT OUT RN PLEASE IT'S WORTH IT)

Pairing: SugarDaddy!Eclipse (by @ping-ski) x Gender Neutral Reader Warning: Suggestive, use of alcohol/reader is tipsy. Also, sorry Pingu, he might be a bit ooc! I wasn't sure how flirty I could make him Words: 1200+ Summary: It's the winder holidays, and you just came home after a long evening spent with your dear beloved. Additional tags: Established relationship, Eclipse is a wonderful father, the kid's name is Atlas.

The weather outside is frigid, wind is howling against the tall windows, but the inside of Eclipse's house is warm and inviting. You've just come home after a very long evening with your beloved, an evening that left you feeling elated and giddy like a highschooler—a time of your life that you have long left behind, even though your cheeks still have the habit of warming up whenever your robotic lover looks your way and your stomach flutters at each time you kiss. You have waved goodbye to Esther, Atlas' nanny, just a few minutes before, and she has assured you that the little boy has been fast asleep for a few hours already. You don't miss how Eclipse smiles when she tells him how the boy asked for his "papa" before falling asleep.

"I'll cook him his favourite breakfast tomorrow," he says, more to himself than to you or Esther, "As an apology for my tardiness."

The house is silent, Atlas is soundly sleeping, and you have drunk a little more than usual at the restaurant. For no real reason! It was just a very good wine: fruity, amazingly aged, heavy on the tongue and warm in the gullet. You can still feel it when you swallow down the bile forming in the back of your throat—which is a lot, considering you have stared at Eclipse for the entire ride home, lost in the thought of kissing him as soon as his face turned your way.

You sigh as you step into your shared house, not worried about waking Atlas with the sound of your shoes on the marbled floor thanks to the good soundproofing of the rooms, and you decide to go sit on the couch to rest your tired feet. You and Eclipse had decided to take a walk around the city centre after leaving the restaurant, simply to enjoy the Christmas decorations that have been put up in every corner of the city, and before you knew it you were about to collapse. Closing your eyes, you let yourself drop on the soft cushions of the couch, but a cold hand catches you by the waist before you can truly be enveloped by the rich fabrics. Unsurprised, you open your eyes just to find an amused Eclipse staring right back down at you, half-lidded eyes and soft silicone lips extremely close to your flushed face—blush still caused by the alcohol, mind you—he chuckles, and the flush deepens just enough to reach your neck and chest. Eclipse's eyes travel down a moment to follow it as it spreads like ink on your soft skin, and you pretend not to notice that he never really goes back to look you in the eyes, stopping instead on your lips.

"How about a dance?" he asks, out of the blue, and you giggle.

"Dancing with no music? How romantic, Eclipse," you say, before realizing he's completely serious.

The animatronic hums, and immediately his grip on your waist strengthens, and that's your only warning before he pulls you back on your feet to sweep you into a mind-twisting dance. You don't understand where he's taking you, you don't understand what's around you, all you know is that one of his hands is holding one of yours, while the other is placed on the small of your back. You dance in the middle of the large living room, feeling wine-red clouds crowding your mind and your sight slightly unfocusing, and you couldn't be happier.

You don't even have to actually do anything; Eclipse has a firm hold on you, and he's always careful not to spin you too fast, in case it could upset your stomach. All you have to do is let yourself go—one hand on one of his upper arms, one of his shoulder—and allow him to manhandle you into beautiful twirls and languid strides. You rest your head on his warm chest, hearing his inner gears and pistons at work, and the world around you is so hazy you might forget it exists. You sigh and think that maybe that's actually all you need in life: a cold evening, a warm embrace, some soothing wine, and Eclipse's love.

The dance stops after just 5 minutes—which feel like hours to you—and you and your partner simply stand one in the other's arms, like two lovers painted by Klimt, sharing the same passion, familiarity, and devotion. Except, differently from Klimt's picture, your beloved is holding you with four arms instead of two.

"How do you feel?" asks Eclipse after a long pause, and the only answer you can manage to utter is a murmur, "I didn't hear you, my dearest."

"Amazingly," you finally say, groggily looking up at him, "I wanna kiss you."

"Sounds like a perfect plan," he grins, "But how do you plan to enact it? Can you even reach my face?"

He laughs, and, a little offended, you do kiss him. You stand on your tippy toes, you crane your neck, and kiss his jaw; the only spot your lips can reach, but it's enough to make him stop and look down at you, surprised that you actually took the lead.

"Wanna try again, love?" he teases, having already recovered from your kiss, leaning down a little, "Or do I need to pick you up?"

His laugh is mocking, and once more you consider showing him what you're actually capable of—should you climb him like a tree? The idea is tempting—until you stop and actually think about his words.

"Yes," you say, parting from him just to look at his beautiful mismatched eyes. "I do, actually."

Eclipse stops laughing, then hums, growing more amused by the second.

"Okay."

In less than a second you're hoisted up between his bulky arms, legs on either side of his hips, face right in front of his, and your arms thrown over his shoulders.

"Much better," you smile sweetly at him, slowly letting your hands wander to the back of his head, then to his bottom rays, which you caress with a lot of care, and lastly to his neck. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, my doll," he sing-songs, not really noticing what you're doing with your fingers until his tie comes undone on his chest and his elegant button-up opens, letting the vents placed on the side of his chest breathe in fresh air. He looks down, seeing your fingers tracing his torso while unbuttoning his shirt, and his black and golden optics widen with interest. It's your turn to grin.

"Too much?" you ask, and Eclipse begins to make a rumbling sound with his voicebox, a sound that reminds you of a purr, deep and warm when it resonates with your chest and stomach.

"Not enough," he whispers, leaning in to brush his lips against yours, toying with your breath with the way you're holding it back, afraid he could sense through it exactly how much you craved him. His voice is low, dangerous, and you feel it vibrate in the depths of your mind when he speaks. "Not nearly enough, not in any way, my doll. Let me kiss you properly this time, will you?"

You all should thank @hexcii cuz I started writing this drabble during one of our simping sessions (we take turns rambling and yapping about the dca) and yea. we both got the i'm-gay-for-robots virus.

[eyra]

stuff what I have learnt about writing good

If you've followed me for longer than two minutes then you'll likely know (because I keep going on about it) that I've been working on a novel for the past year. It's always been a dream of mine to write and publish a book and whilst I still have a long way to go before I can even start thinking about querying (whether on this book, or the next, or the next, etc.) I suppose I can now say that a book Exists. I have written A Book.

Now whether or not that book ever sees the light of day, the process of writing it has been truly eye-opening. I went in knowing virtually nothing and came out, still with a huge amount to learn, but with a whole library of tools that I didn't have before. I'm now putting these to use with the first draft of my second book and already the process feels so much more enjoyable, because I've started to figure out how to make it work for me.

I wanted to jot down what I've learnt purely for my own reference so I can keep looking back and reminding myself what worked for me first time around, but given that I get a nice number of asks picking my brain about my own writing process, I thought I might as well share all this with you lot in case there's anyone out there who finds it useful!

So here are the big things that I've learnt so far...

1. Not every trick works for every writer

This has been, by far, my biggest learning. Starting to plan a novel for me felt SO overwhelming - I felt like I was bombarded on all sides with "this is how to write a novel" content, and it felt like there was just too much to learn and like I would never find my way through it. I spent weeks (months...) doing every worksheet, every outlining method, every chart, anything I could get my hands on. Some of them, by the end, proved themselves very useful. A lot of them didn't. There are thousands of voices online that are telling you "this is the right way to write a book" or even "this is the ONLY way to write a book" - don't listen to them. Try things, but don't feel like you have to fit yourself into every single box. Just find the things that work for you.

2. It's possible to overplan

On a related note - sometimes you just need to start writing. I spent WAY TOO LONG faffing about before I put pen to paper with my first book. So, so long planning out characters and plot points, a lot of which I then had to completely reimagine mid-draft because I realised they just didn't work anymore. In hindsight, some of this was down to me being scared to actually start writing - the planning stage was a bit of a comfort zone for me, despite not naturally being a plotter/architect - I have always always always been a pantser/gardener, but I got sucked into the whole "proper authors do it THIS way" narrative.

With my second novel, I did a nice amount of planning but then just bit the bullet and started drafting. I know where my story begins, ends, what my major themes are, I know all my main characters and I know my key plot points. The rest, I'm figuring out as I draft. If nothing else - I'm having a lot more fun this time around.

3. Think about voice and tense before drafting

Yeah duh obvious right? NOT TO ME. If you were following me around April time, you may have witnessed a series of minor breakdowns when I realised that, having written a whole first draft in third person present tense, the entire book should actually have been written in first person past tense. So that meant, basically, starting over from scratch. This was a big learning for me, and not a mistake I'm likely to make again.

4. Stop looking at your word count

For someone who's never really put much thought into word count before - my approach with fanfiction has already been "it'll be as long as it'll be" - I got OBSESSED with the word count of my first couple of drafts. A lot of people will tell you that any good novel "has to be" under 100k words. I constantly see this one post on Pinterest that says "I promise you that you can tell the story you want to tell in 100k words or under." I'm definitely no expert on this (and I'll eat my words when an agent tells me my manuscript needs cutting down), but I'm sceptical - a lot of stories can and should be under 100k words, sure, but most of my favourite books are much longer than this. However, I did get stuck in a "this manuscript has to be between 70k and 100k words" mindset and felt like a failure whenever it was sitting outside of that bracket. Also - keep your genre in mind. If you're writing a rom-com, 70k could work perfectly. If you're writing fantasy, you're probably going to go over that.

5. Know whether you're an overwriter or an underwriter

And related to the above - know whether you tend to write bare bones-style then add to it, or whether you tend to dump it all on the page then cut back later. I'm the first, and I knew this, but I still panicked when my first draft was only around 70k. I felt like it was rushing through the plot at an unreasonable pace and it didn't feel "finished". This was because it was a first draft. By the time I sent my manuscript to my beta reader, it was around 126k.

6. The dumb stuff works

The title of the document for my first draft was "XXX - worst possible version" and at multiple points during the drafting process I changed the font to Comic Sans size 48. It works. Completely takes the pressure off and gives you full permission to write big, write silly, write unhinged, write mad things that you'll cut back by 90% later. But it gets it all on the page. If you're stuck or cringing at yourself in Times New Roman size 12, try Comic Sans size 48.

7. Don't compare your first draft to your favourite book

Like an idiot, I did this. I still find myself doing it. It's possibly my worst writing habit. I'll type out a page at 11pm after a full day at work and no dinner and then I'll pick up a published book and think "ah man, the page I've just written is nowhere NEAR as good as this." Published books are fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh drafts that then go through months and months of editing. Do not compare your manuscript to a published book. Just don't do it.

8. Don't try to be That Author

Good writers are good readers. Absolutely read broadly, read deeply, just read. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, everything. And it's fine to find yourself influenced by other writers - that's how writing works. But don't try to BE other writers. One of the issues I had to unpick last year was that I was reading a lot of authors whose writing styles are very different to my own. I know my own style fairly well by this point - fanfiction's a great sandbox for figuring that out - but at certain moments during my editing phases I found myself cutting away at my prose because it felt "too different" to the books I was reading at the time. This was a weird thing for me to have done, and I went back and fixed it later.

I think what I'm trying to say with this one is: take inspiration from everywhere, let yourself be influenced by different writing styles, but find your own voice and trust it. Literature already has a Sally Rooney and a Donna Tartt and a Leigh Bardugo. It doesn't need a clone - it needs you!

I'll finish by sharing what I've found to be the most useful plotting template. This obviously isn't the total extent of my planning process by any means, but after trying about a million different plotting techniques for my first manuscript, this is the one:

The 27 chapter method (more examples here)

And finally, two little character tricks that I find invaluable:

AITAH?

Character philosophy

I hope someone out there finds something useful in this post! Although I've been writing in some capacity since I was a teenager, 2024 was definitely the year I realised that I am a writer at my core. I want to be a published author, but I'm already a writer. It brings me happiness like nothing else in the world! And I love to talk about all aspects of writing, so my ask box is always very much open.

Happy scribbling! x

[alllgator-blood]

Disappeared for a bit but I'm still here, I just got overwhelmed and learned I should probably take this blog less seriously

I'm using the new year as an excuse to come back on here and try to not ditch my account for another 6 months-- I'm NOT good at posting stuff online to a crowd of more than like 5-20 followers, I originally wrote a huge long-winded draft describing all of my thoughts in great detail. It was too long. I guess all I want people to know is I'm somebody who's spent years making art that I knew nobody will ever see, so it's incredible and overwhelming to have thousands of eyes on my art all of a sudden? It's both the coolest thing and the scariest thing ever to me simultaneously, I'm by no means a Popular Artist but I went from virtually no interaction for years to suddenly tens of thousands of cumulative notes on my posts so it's huge for me. And I haven't adjusted super well to it, entirely due to my own shitty brain chemistry.

I don't want anyone to feel like I'm ignoring their messages or like I don't appreciate the fact they go out of their way to give me their thoughts/send me ideas, genuinely this is the most support I've *ever* had for my art and it's so so fucking cool. It's led me to create so much more than I thought possible! I used to run ask blogs for a couple very niche video game fandoms, and I prided myself on being able to draw full comics for EVERY ask I got, answer EVERY message and went into this blog assuming I could still do that. Um....safe to say I cannot....I have like 200+ asks and I think I drafted a dozen or more that I answered but felt my art was too low effort. I felt so bad I couldn't put maximum effort into everything, and I've been beating myself up over it to a point where *no* asks are getting answered, and this blog went from a really fun thing I actually woke up early just to check on, to something I wanted to avoid like the plague for the past week out of guilt. DUE TO NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MY OWN, everyone has been so chill when I've had to take breaks so idk why I feel the need to hold myself hostage.

So I'm gonna try and take it easier, give myself a break when my personal life goes horribly, close my ask box periodically if I feel overwhelmed, maybe hop on here like once or twice a day rather than compulsively refreshing every 5 minutes...I hope that makes things better. I realize I should probably just *do* that without announcing it, but I have no self discipline and unless I announce I'm gonna do something, it's not gonna fuckin happen lmao.

Anyway if you read this far, here's the first panel of a sequel comic I made to the christmas one I posted last time I was on here, this one is *very* representative of my mindset the last week and will hopefully not reflect how I feel now that I survived december. I know for a fact there's mentions I haven't gotten to check yet so I'm gonna do that after laying down for a bit, here's to a chill 2025 where my social anxiety doesn't eat me alive