#i have so many merthur headcanons guys

[thebabygronckle]

merlin au where everyone finds out merlin is a sorcerer and theyre all covering for him from arthur

except arthur already knows??? hes known like. pretty much the whole time. hes been waiting for merlin to tell him himself.

but the longer it goes on the more arthur wonders if its something hes doing? he and merlin are close, arthur considers merlin his closest friend, but maybe arthur has done something to dissuade merlin from trusting him? maybe merlin cant forgive arthur for being uthers son? because arthur has noticed the increasing amount of people covering for his manservant, hes aware everybody ELSE knows

[queerofthedagger]

not to stir the pot but i’ve seen some really shitty takes recently about arthur being gay and completely erasing gwen’s importance to him. what are your thoughts?

oof well that is in fact a loaded question but I genuinely feel your frustration so let's give this a shot lmao

the short of it, to quote a friend of mine: 2012 tumblr called and wants its shitty shipping discourse back (derogatory)

the slightly longer of it.... to start this off, no one has to ship anything. no one's saying that anyone has to ship anything, or headcanon characters a certain way, or that you're not "allowed" to say that you don't ship certain ships. that's just . not a thing that's happening, and I do wanna reiterate strongly that you don't have to ship anything.

that said, well. maybe if you find yourself with the urge to nail your 'why i don't ship this canon interracial couple' against the proverbial church doors, you should ask yourself.... why is it always the black characters you find "badly written." why is it always the black and the white character who have "no chemistry." why is it always the black character you find unrelatable, that you think would be soo much better suited dating another character of color, etc. etc. These things do not happen in a vacuum, and you don't need to hate or even dislike that character to play into tropes, stereotypes, and issues that very many people have very extensively explained to be less than stellar, to put it mildly.

And Imma come out and say this: fandom is not activism, you don't need to be a loud, outspoken activist and/or turn this into anything more than a hobby. if, even amongst the discussions had in the last years, you have never once stopped to ask yourself how you might deal with the internalized racism that we're all dealing with, how it might affect people in the spaces you share while doing your hobby, then, frankly, you gotta do better. fandom is not activism, but we all have some basic responsibility of not causing more harm than there already is going around. this should not be a controversial statement either.

you can ship merthur without invalidating and trampling all over the frankly brilliant fact that this show went and casted a black woman as queen guinevere. you can ship merthur without taking away scenes that are not about them - god knows there are enough. you can acknowledge that 75% of your shipping takes are subjective, that merthur isn't, wasn't, and was never going to be canon, and literally none of this takes away from the two generic white dudes whose faces you'd like to smash together. this entire fandom is and has been majorly about those two generic white guys, for well over a decade, and i'm saying all this as a white merthur shipper. like, this is the bare minimum. and yet, here we fucking are.

as for the arthur being gay thing - again, you don't need to headcanon anyone a certain way, but whenever i do see this specific headcanon it "somehow" always comes with an incredibly weird (to put this mildly also) understanding of sexuality, top/bottom discourse, and - you guessed it - takes on arwen, that are maybe something people might want to uhh. examine also.

this isn't a callout, or a call for a witchhunt, or or or. personally i block and move on, and I wouldn't have said anything more on this than a vague shitpost on my sideblog, but god knows i can never shut up and even less so when asked, and I do think that while, again, fandom is not activism and I'll stand by this, people should... try and aim to make some basic attempts at not causing harm. it's not even hard (although that should not be your measure but like, again. bare minimum). it really is as easy as not constantly invalidating and side-lining ships and/or characters, by doing basic research in how not to whitewash characters, why not to compare skintone to food when writing, etc.

On that note, none of these are things that I've come up with. A lot of people, especially fans of colour, have done a great deal of work to provide resources and education that are... incredibly easy to find if you can be fucked to make some effort. Imma link a bunch beneath too but like. Yeah I guess that's my take. You can ship whatever you want, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart. But 1. maybe sometimes take some time to consider what you're saying, 2. maybe take some time to do some basic self-education on some issues in general, and 3. writing posts on why you don't ship whatever ship has never accomplished anything beyond getting people who agree with you to stroke your ego, and step on the toes of people who don't. at best.

But also, last but not least, the block button is your friend and all that

Resources by people much better equipped to talk on these things than me:

How to stan the white guy with minimal contribution to fandom's racism problem

The racism in the Merlin fandom and towards Gwen specifically

Educating Merlin - a blog that's specifically tackling racism in this fandom

Fanlore on Fandom's Racism Problem(s) (use to find many links leading you to further discussions on it)

More Fanlore with further links

When white people talk about racism in fandom

Writing with Color - Resource blog for writing specifically, but honestly also covers so many topics that it's incredibly useful for doing some self-examination too

I'm not saying you need to agree with everything said in all of these sources, but also if your constant reaction to these discussions as a white person is to get defensive, to dismiss it, etc., I'm saying this in the nicest way possible: maybe sit with that for a bit. Ask yourself why requests like not constantly making fun of a ship gets you in such a huff. Etc. etc.

Lastly: if people would like to add onto this with more resources, that's highly welcome. That said, anyone clowning/harassing/being a bitch on this post will be blocked.

[skywalking-through-life]

what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?

Wow, y'all are really going for the ship asks! Since I'm home sick from work today - again ugh - I guess I'll keep cranking out answers!

This one is so funny to me, because I honestly have a very hard time judging which ships are loved and which ones aren't, with the exception of a few that I love and happen to know are super popular - Percabeth in PJO, Merthur in Merlin, and Din/Luke in SW, for example. I really do tend to enjoy, or at least understand, most ships! Romantic and platonic! It's fun to think of the different ways that different ships bring out different aspects of different characters, and I enjoy playing around with those dynamics. Y'all might be surprised to know it, but I enjoy friendships/family/platonic relationships as much as I enjoy romantic ones! But here are a couple of specifically unusual loves, I guess?

So let's see... I don't know how people feel about Sally/Paul in PJO, but that is a ship that I absolutely adore? I love the idea of Sally having a stable, supportive, rolls-with-the-punches guy in her life, because I think she deserves that kind of peaceful normalcy. 😌

OH, this might be a good one. I don't have any idea how many people know the old Star Wars Expanded Universe these days (its called Legends now), but when I was a teenager I was a hard-core Luke/Mara shipper! I very much doubt that is a popular ship these days, because I've recently seen that a lot of folks headcanon Luke to be gay. I can totally get on board with him - and honestly everyone in the SW universes - being queer, but I see him as more bi/pan/whatever label makes him/you happy. And his dynamic with Mara is just the most perfect enemies to lovers story to ever exist, so I still love it very deeply, even now, and could still talk about it for hours! (I don't actually want to think about how much that ship has shaped my psyche, lol.)

[mikichko]

twenty questions for fic writers

thank you for tagging me @kyletogaz and @stellewriites

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

12 because I literally keep forgetting to upload them over there 💀

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

20.3k (damn wtf)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

actively cod! jjk and hq are dormant but I have ideas...

4. top five fics by kudos

warmth, visitor, orbit, chance, top

i'm not linking these cause i have shame...

5. do you respond to comments?

dude YES!! to the point, i feel like I'm scaring my commenters away. I'm so sorry I just love talking with y'all ;-;

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

currently, it's piel and for that i'm sorry

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably orbit! but if i write it well it'll be the ghoap x teacher!reader fic...

8. do you get hate on fics?

no and thank god for that i'd probably cry. you guys are all so kind and wonderful!

9. do you write smut?

not yet! i want to but i'm nervous I wont write it well?

10. craziest crossover?

haven't done anything yet but i was thinking of a kaiju no.8 x cod crossover maybe? I'm not too sure

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge... please don't do that

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i am going to be translating them myself + writing a soap x latine!reader fic in spanish so :D

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, that sounds fun though!

14. all time favorite ship?

merthur... down horrendous for them. reader based it's probably soap x reader atm I'm sorry I'm down so bad for him

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my death's greeting series! about the deaths of the jjk characters and what met them on the other side. sadly gege and this current arc are killing my motivation 😭

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i do a good job of capturing emotion? my friends also said that my work is really poetic so maybe that?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

capturing accents in dialogue, dialogue, descriptors of the scene without giving too much, overuse of comma, etc etc ;-;

oh i also despise writing my own work but I'm forcing myself to do it so I can make better polished work

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

love love love (if its done right, if you're just chucking google translated stuff I nod and move along)

19. first fandom you wrote in?

haikyuu! think it was headcanons for my big three which was osamu, aone, and ushijima at the time

20. favorite fic you've written?

to date it's actually piel angsty ending and all

tagging: anyone who sees this and has had a yellow colored food today :)

[bellamyblakru]

omg ok so idk how many im allowed to ask for the otp ask game thingy BUT if this is too many just do the ones you really want:D (SORRY I GOT EXCITED)

merthur & 2, 6, 7, 13, 24, 29, 30

oh my god roya i went ham on these. i apologize in advance 💀i got so excited too siskksksksks thank you so much for this holy shit, it was literally so much fun

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

omg i think it depends on who got the drama arc that day ajclajfefkafn i would say normally merlin is 100% the big spoon LOL he just has that “need to comfort and protect” vibe, you feel?

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

oooo so interesting, like physical features? id wanna say merlin loves arthur’s hands the most. like he can just sit for hours watching arthur signing documents and writing speeches and all that shit, plus arthur is definitely a hands on man (since he was touched starved to the max) so merlin always craves those little moments where arthur’s hand lingers on his own, or on his neck, or on his chest. the first thing to come to my mind for arthur is that he absolutely adores merlin’s hair. like when he forgets to cut it short and it gets a bit longer and more curly, the wildness just fits merlin so nicely. his hair in the morning is just so messy and perfect and the way the light hits it makes merlin feel more ethereal--its in those moments, right before merlin wakes up, where arthur just stares at this magical king and wonders what god he should thank for giving him someone so lovely.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

OH GOD. dude, the first thing that changes for merlin is what he thinks about as he helps arthur dress for the day. now, he notices the subtle way arthur leans into his touch, the way arthur smiles softly when merlin fixes his collar, the way his own hands tremble, ever-so slightly, as he smooths out arthur’s shirt. ARTHUR. man, the first thing that changes for arthur when he realized he has feelings for merlin is EVERYTHING. my mans tries to not change a fucking thing about the routine or day--but he tries way too fucking hard and its painfully noticeable that something is happening in his mind. merlin notices it, of course, but thinks arthur is stressed about something kingly. you know who tells him to fucking stop? LANCELOT. that man walks up to arthur, drags his ass aside, and gently, but not weakly, says “you suck at this” and helps him understand that merlin is already head over heels for him wjsjjsksksks

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

arthur. 100%. touch is his thingggg™️. merlin has probably ached to hold arthur’s hand for years, but arthur does it first. i imagine two different scenarios: one, its fucking chaos out. there is some bad guy or some shit they are fighting, the knights are scattered, they are bloodied, bruised, and tired, but merlin hasn’t left his side for even a moment. the warlock’s back is still straight, his chin is still high, the defiance burning so brightly in those eyes that arthur cant help but reach over and grab the man’s hand to try to gain some of his resilience and passion and strength. two, it could be the laziest fucking day of the year. the knights of the roundtable are laughing and eating in arthur’s chambers, lance and gwen are making doe-eyes at one another, gwaine and percy are stealin little glances, and arthur is just so fucking content. like he looks around to smiles, and laughing, and happiness, and he turns his head to see merlin staring at him in concern. and he cant help it, man, he just reaches over and squeezes his hand. merlin’s eyes widen, but a soft smile grows there. arthur just doesn’t let go though, so merlin leans over and puts his head on arthur’s shoulder being completely beautifully content together.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

BRUH THIS SCREAMS MERLIN. I'M LAUGHING SO MUCH FKHNNSKNR. dudee. imagine it?? they are seated at a Very Important Dinner™️ with some Very Important People™️ and arthur is just about to make a toast and BAM-merlin whispers something outrageously fucking dirty. ARTHUR SPLUTTERS AND TURNS SO FUCKING RED ASDFGHHJK. merlin just smiles (his most regal smile) and turns away to talk to Very Important Someone™️ and arthur has to wait a few more minutes to compose himself and vows to get back at merlin later (he never does because merlin always beats him to it). OR LIKE DURING AUDIENCES? like this fucking farmer is complaining that he thinks his neighbor stole his chicken named Clucky and merlin just walks up to arthur and Says Something™️ that makes arthur cough...violently...and merlin turns around, solves the farmer’s problem, and goes back to his spot like nothing happened. arthur stares at him for much longer than he is suppose to before leon steps in and taps arthur’s shoulder to continue LOLLL

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

oh lord,,, where to start? im not sure if this is a common headcanon or not, but that merlin actually could have saved arthur. he is the most powerful warlock to ever fucking exist, and he couldn’t save him? i call bullshit. i think he had the power to, and i think deep down he realizes that when its too late (like arthur’s eyes fluttering shut too late) and thats what breaks him. what haunts him for literal centuries. the simple fact that he could have saved him. i think he didn’t know enough about his magic yet, or that he refused to acknowledge that kind of power simmering under his skin, or that he just didn’t believe enough in himself because of how many times shit had hit the fan when merlin did magic near arthur. so..yeah…yikes

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

LOL im full of angsty headcanons so hmmm. during arthur’s reign, they used to stay up late at night in arthur’s chambers. it didn’t matter what they did: whether it was arthur teaching merlin how to play chess as merlin complained the entire time that strategy at midnight was a cruel and unnecessary punishment, or arthur helped merlin clean his chambers as merlin hummed an old song his mother used to sing to him before bed, or just the two of them sitting in front of the fireplace with two glasses of wine talking about everything and nothing all at once. but once the quiet hits, its never, ever, uncomfortable. they can sit in silence for hours and never be bored or scared to break it. they just sit there, side by side, leaning on one another like they do in everything in life.

thank you again😭💖💖 akakakakak i might have gotten too excited?😂

otp ask game

[fxndom-hoe]

So I was reading a ScreenRant article about what BBC Merlin got right about the stories and what it got wrong, but some of their explanations about the show were wrong and it was starting to annoy me. So I decided to hash it out here on tumblr and have my piece. And so that means you all are forced to hear me rant about some dumb article from the internet (or you can ignore me, I’m not the boss of you 😂).

Anyway, here's:

(I’m not gonna go through all the points, just the one’s I feel they got totally wrong.)

(Also, I’m going to try to keep this as unshippy as possible, but my own interpretations of the show are probably going to come out.)

WARNING: MENTION OF R*PE FROM SOURCE MATERIAL. ALSO, SPOILERS!!!

Ok so maybe this is my own opinion (like this whole post is going to be) but Merlin is technically a teacher. Not in the sense that Gaius is, not in the traditional “here, read this book for a lesson” sort of teacher, but he has actively tried to teach Arthur right from wrong during some instances where the royals were being stupid. Especially when Uther was trying to influence Arthur to do something that he thought was right (but since we know Uther, it was usually (always) actually wrong). Merlin was there to tell Arthur that his father was wrong, and in a way, that’s teaching/being a teacher.

Also, Merlin not being a lover is really a matter of opinion. He may not have had many actual romantic relationships canonically, but that isn’t what defines a “ladies man.” He’s attracted lots of women (and women). “Seen as inferior” my ass. In season one, Gwen had a major crush on him. In season five, Merlin had a slight flirtation with Sefa, even if that didn’t really last long. Throughout the series, we see the sexual tension between Merlin and Arthur. And Gwaine fell madly in love with him since they first met. And, of course, there’s Freya, which they already implied. So just because he’s only had one on-screen relationship doesn’t mean he’s not a heartbreaker. Also, he may not have had an actual relationship with Morgana, there’s definitely some kind of tension between them after she turns evil (whether it’s sexual or just them being enemies is up to you).

This may be me being really nitpicky, but the first time we see Excalibur IS 👏 NOT 👏 WITH 👏 FREYA 👏 This is the part that made me want to make this post. MERLIN 👏 DID 👏 NOT 👏 GET 👏 EXCALIBUR 👏 FROM 👏 FREYA 👏 Like, did the writer of this article even watch the show??? The episode where we see Excalibur for the first time is LITERALLY CALLED “EXCALIBUR!!!” And in the episode, it shows Excalibur being made when Kilgharrah BREATHED ON IT!!! Like, I don’t mean to be rude to the author, but you literally just had to watch the show one (1) time to know this. Maybe don’t write an article about a show you’ve never watched?? (Again, I really don’t wanna be rude, but this really rubbed me the wrong way.)

Again, I’m probably nitpicking, but wasn’t that the point of the show? Like, “Here’s the story of King Arthur except Merlin’s a twenty year old twink instead.” ? I mean, this really wasn’t all that big of a deal, but I need content and I had an opinion on this, so I’m sharing it. 

I mean, for the most part, this is right. We got the whole love triangle thing going on between these three. We got the tasteless “Lancelot du Lac” episode, which I just... we’re not going to talk about it.

 I think we all know, at this point, assuming we’ve all seen the posts talking/complaining about how Gwen was a princess, but instead they made her a servant. Especially because I think in the source material, Gwen was white, and when the show made her black and demoted her to a servant it was racist. Personally (and if this is racist, you guys should call me out on it), I like it because it shows a poor woman of color rising above everyone else and becoming queen, and that’s very badass of her and very empowering for WOC. (I’m not BIPOC so if I’m wrong about this, and anyone who is BIPOC found it offensive that they made Gwen a servant rather than a princess, you have every right to be.)

And now for my complaint: Gwen did actually become an antagonist for a few episodes. I mean, yes, she was technically under Morgana’s spell, so that makes her a victim more than a villain, but the storyline of Dark!Gwen makes her a temporary antagonist. So, article, you are wrong (in a way).

Ok so apparently Uther is just a despicable man no matter what story you try to tell. Just absolutely disgusting. And the fact that in the tales, Merlin actually helps Uther r*pe a woman 🤢🤮 Absolutely disgusting. 

But that's not why I’m talking about this part. The reason I bring this up is because if you watched the show, you would know that Nimueh tells Uther that they WERE FRIENDS. She wasn’t just some random sorcerer who he asked to use dark magic. She was his FRIEND who he asked for help when his wife couldn’t conceive. I think it might’ve also been implied that she was Court Sorcerer (but that might’ve just been a headcanon that I read). But either way, Uther didn’t just turn to dark magic to have a child. He asked his friend for help then betrayed her when it backfired on him.

Again, no matter what happened, Uther is just all around a terrible man.

Ok so this part I don't really have a problem with, but I am confused. I haven't read any source material, so I don’t know this for sure, but I thought Arthur did know about Merlin’s magic. Maybe not in all the tales, but is there not a single one where Arthur knows of Merlin’s abilities? Can someone who’s read up on the source material fact check this for me please. Because I thought the whole “magic is illegal so Merlin has to hide from Arthur” thing was made up for the show, but maybe I’m wrong? Someone help please, thank you! 😊 

Ooohoohoo! Again, no problem with this specifically, but I am reacting. I always thought that Merlin always played a big role in Arthur’s life (not as best friend like in the show) but like an important advisor. I thought Merlin was more than just someone who played a minor role in Arthur’s life. Like, Merlin is such a big figure in pop culture, I could never even imagine that he wasn’t that important in Arthur’s life. Is he more important in the stories than he is to Arthur himself? Is that it? How does that work? I think it might be because I’m a huge Merthur shipper (yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bring ships into this, but I had to for this one), but I really can’t imagine Merlin not being important to Arthur. I mean, I watched this three hour long movie called Merlin starring Sam Neill, and if I’m remembering that correctly, didn’t Merlin raise Arthur? I can’t really remember, but this just feels so wrong to me.

So that's the end of the screenshots, but I do want to mention that the article (which I’ll be linking in the source) talked about how a difference between the story and the show is that in the story, Merlin doesn’t have a family, and just...   HOW SAD??? That is so heartbreaking, and maybe that’s just me imagining the show’s Merlin, our sweet boy who cares about family so fucking much, without a family, and that just makes me sad. But is that true, though? Does the Merlin in the King Arthur tales NOT HAVE A FAMILY??? OOOOOFFF! That’s fuckin rough. 

All right, so this is the end, but if any of you have opinions on the article or on my own opinions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks to anyone who actually read this whole thing. It was kind of long and pointless, but some of what was mentioned brought out such STRONG EMOTIONS from me, I just had to share.

[shut-up-merlin]

1, 9 and 19 (I'm tempted to ask all of them because I love your style and your fanfics <3 but I'll show some reluctant self-restraint xD)

Thank you @witchmd13 <3 For the asks and the lovely compliment! 

Fanfic asks

1. How many WIPs do you currently have? Oops! Well there’s A Little Unsteady and The Prat next door, both of which you’ve read parts of! Then I’m also working on a Drarry modern day AU (with penguins!) and two more Merthur AUs, one is a fairy tale AU and the other is loosely based on the film How to lose a guy in ten days (and actually counts as two WIPS... cause I had two ideas and ended up writing both!)  Then finally I’m also working on an original story, not fanfiction, set in a dystopian post-COVID Belgium. So seven in total! That’s not too bad, is it? 

9. Fake dating or arranged marriage? Oh. NO don’t make me choose! Fake dating. Arranged Marriage. Ok no Fake dating.

19. What’s your favourite character headcanon? Ok I am going to put this in a post that’s more coherent at some point, but here it goes: You know how we only see Merthur scenes set while things are happening in Camelot? When people are dying or when shenanigans happen? Well, my HC here is this: during the quiet times, when nothing is wrong and when our boys just spend their days training and doing their every day activities, they have so much time to themselves. And they spend that time together. They have inside jokes and quiet conversations and such a strong bond between them.  One of the inside jokes is that, after they get together, one of them (probably Merlin-king-of-sass) says: “We could have been great friends if it weren’t for all the sex how much I love you.” And then, the next episode, we hear Arthur say “We could have been great friends”, but it’s actually a joke. Cause they’re much, much more than that, and that is their way of saying they’re not friends. They’re everything to each other. 

[ooc-charming-david]

A & U for the fandom ask game? :D

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Oh boy, I have so many ships. Like. So many. But don’t multiship, so only like 1 ship per character, and usually only like a few per fandom. So this doesn’t get batshit long, I’ll start with my current obsessions du jour:

OUAT: 

OTPs: Snowing and Frozen Swan 

Platonic Relationships: Daddy Charming, Mama Snow, Charming Wolf (Charming & Red), Grandpa Charming. 

Harry Potter: OTP: Wolfstar

Platonic Relationships: Harry & Sirius, Golden Trio, Marauders, Harry & Luna, Harry & Hagrid, Harry & Dobby, Harry & Remus, Harry and ALL THE WEASLEYS

And Miscellaneous that I’m not totally obsessed with right this second but that I will always circle back to (in no particular order):

OTPs: Elizabeth Bennet/Mr Darcy (pride&prejudice), Merthur (BBC Merlin), Fosterson (MCU), Stucky (MCU), Neo/Trinity (The Matrix), Jake/Neytiri (Avatar), The Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who), Legolas/Gimli (LOTR), Crowley/Azirphale (Good Omens), Link/Sidon (BotW), Jamie/Claire (Outlander), Victor/Yuuri (Yuri on Ice), Buffy/Angel (Buffy), Erik/Christine (PotO), and like... more but that’s what I can think of right now.   

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Ohhhh good question.

1) Harry Potter

Sirius Black - Sirius has been my number one favourite character from any work of fiction since I was about 12. So like... over half my life. It’s almost hard for me to put to words why he’s my favourite, because he just feels so intrinsically tied to my heart. Sirius is good and brave and loving. He puts the people he loves before himself, always. First James and then Harry. He’s been through hell and he isn’t okay, but he’s kind. He’s cracked but not broken. I could write a 5000 word essay about why I love him so very much and how much he means to me. I have endless headcanons about him. Like. Endless. You know, he stayed in Azkaban and didn’t even try to escape until he found out Harry was in danger. He didn’t do it for himself, he did it because his love for his godson is so profound, and he had to protect him from Pettigrew. I just.... @ me some time for an essay about it. I won’t write more here but yeah he’s just... my favourite forever. 

Hermione Granger - Hermione got me through the worst time in my life. I’ve always related so very much to Hermione. I was bullied horribly in elementary school and high school (like to the point where I was escorted off the school premises by the police for my safety once, and the school board apparently had a meeting about my case. Like. It was BAD). And seeing how Hermione was so bullied, especially in the first book, and how Harry and Ron became her friends... I read that when I needed to read that the most in my life. In my heart, when I was growing up, I was Hermione, and when I had no one, I always had Harry and Ron. 

Remus Lupin - Goddamn I love Remus. He’s been through so much and has been ostracized for something that isn’t his fault for most of his life. He has a softness and a patience and a gentle kindness that I will always love him for. He’s such a wonderful teacher, and another parent to Harry. I want an au where Sirius and Remus raised Harry more than anything, y’all. Remus is just so beyond wonderful, I can’t even. 

2) Once Upon a Time

Charming / David - Y’all do I even need to say it? I love literally everything about Charming. He’s so profoundly selfless, loving, brave, kind, romantic, loyal... and yet flawed and real. He would do anything for his true love and his family. He’s the best dad and the best husband I can think of in fiction. He’s just the best and I love him with my whole heart. I could say so much more but I don’t want this post to go on for 100000 years.

Snow - Y’all know I love my Snow. Snow is strong and tough and brave, and yet she’s always forgiving, and soft in her love and understanding. She will do what she has to do to survive and to help those she loves, and even those she doesn’t. She has been hunted and tortured and traumatized, and yet always remains kind, forgiving and hopeful. I love her so very much. She reminds me of my late Baba, sometimes. My Baba was a holocaust survivor  -- her parents, siblings and best friend were all murdered (except for one brother), and she always said of the Nazi monsters who did those terrible things that she wouldn’t even slap their faces. Some people think Snow is weak for how forgiving she is, but I see nothing but strength in her. 

Emma - How can anyone not love Emma? She’s the one that started it all. She is her father’s daughter trough and through. She’s strong, passionate, takes no shit from anyone, and loves her family. Her relationship with her parents are two of my favourite platonic relationships of all time. (Also she’s a beautiful bisexual disaster and I love her.)

3) Marvel (especially MCU)

Jane Foster - LISTEN. I love Jane Foster with my whole entire heart and anyone who doesn’t love her can FIGHT ME. She’s a tiny fiery Jewish Genius and she’s the BEST. The first Thor movie is one of my favourite movies of all time. The beauty of a scientist falling in love with a God/Alien is just so profoundly beautiful, y’all. She’s strong and smart and brave and so very real and I love her so much. I am SO BLOODY PUMPED to see her become Thor in Love and Thunder. 

Thor - I fuckin love Thor, y’all. As you’d see the second you walking into my apartment. Thor has such a beautiful character arc in his first movie, going from a dumb, entitled jock to this caring, soft, kind man who saves kids and would do anything for his lil scientist soulmate. He is such a fish out of water, and he’s just such a wonderful, loving man and I love him SO MUCH. Also, his power set is just so fuckin cool, y’all. 

(oh gods now I have to pick between Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Clint Barton???? How could you do this to me, Becky?!) 

Steve Rogers - Steve is the character who I most relate to in the MCU, especially pre-serum. I, too, am short and have shitty joints and will always stand up for the little guy. Steve is a tiny hero in the body of a suped-up god. All he wants is to do the right thing, to help everyone he can, and to protect Bucky Barnes. Steve and Bucky are one of my alltime big OTPs. That man was ready to start a whole goddamn war to protect Bucky, don’t @ me. Also, as the grandchild of holocaust survivors, how could I not absolutely adore a man who beats the shit outta Nazis? My Hero. 

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina​ =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name: 

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For: 

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post: 

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular One-Shot: 

Fleetofshippyships: Potter’s Insatiable Cock (Drarry, Explicit (duh XD), 20k (viewable only for logged-in AO3 users)).

Knowyourincantations: A Decent Start to Things (Pansmione, Teen, 7k)

Legendaryroar: Finding Time for Rest (Sheith (Voltron), Teen, 3k)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: 

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote: 

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff. 

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice. 

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me. 

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: 

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting: 

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying,  No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting  Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles: 

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened). 

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline: 

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway). 

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write. 

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete: 

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress: 

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required. 

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: 

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115​ won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts: 

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: 

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

---

Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post

[fandom-glazed]

I was tagged by my boredom and I’d like to know about @dreamingbrownie​ and @llunara-seloth​ and my whole timeline actually, all those grindeldore guys, I NEED to know! Pick your top ten ships without reading the questions! (in no particular order)

Nezushi (Nezumi/Shion, No.6 - all media)

Grindeldore (Gellert Grindelwald/Albus Dumbledore, Wizarding World - all media)

Merthur (Arthur Pendragon/Merlin, BBC’s Merlin)

Zukka (Zuko/Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender - all media)

Cherik (Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, X-Men - all media)

Kakairu (Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Naruto - all media)

Perwaine (Sir Percival/Sir Gwaine, BBC’s Merlin)

Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Marvel - MCU)

Tiva (Tony DiNozzo x Ziva David, NCIS)

Thorki (Thor/Loki, Marvel - MCU and comics)

1: Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

It’s been such a long time and I mess around with the timeline all the time. But there are so many moments. Like when Kakashi saves Iruka, or the “legendary” thank-you scene. The episode with Kakashi as Hokage and the wedding gift, of course the wedding episode...

2: Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Yes and I do some beta-reading for @dreamingbrownie.

3: Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr avatar?

I think I had a screen saver years ago, but at the moments it’s Grindeldore. :D

4: If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Those two would never break up! The (b)romance is just too strong. Ask Tom and Eoin! (I’d problably guess they’re under some kind of spell and wouldn’t rest until it’s reversed.)

5: Why is 1 so important?

I think it’s (one of) the most relatable relationships/developments ever. And it’s so pure and fragile, but at the same time such a strong bond. You’d only understand if you knew the books. I love them to death, I can’t even find words. I also find it kind of easy to identify with one of them. Also the story circling around them makes it even more emotional.

6: Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. Like, almost equally balanced. At the beginning it was more a funny ship, of course and at the moment it’s extremely serious.

7: Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

I don’t think it’s possible for me to choose. Intuitively I thought of Merthur.

8: Out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

Ahhh it’s like 7 and I’d maybe say Nezushi. Or Merthur. Or those idiots who made a blood troth.

9: How many times have you read/watched 10’s fandom?

So. Many.

10: Which ship has lasted the longest?

Out of this list? I think Grindeldore or Zukka. I can’t remember exactly which started to tug me first.

11: How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

NEVER!

12: If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Magic and super soldiers? They’d fucking save the world before the zombies could say “bluuuurrrgh!”.

13: Is 4 still together?

Yeah sure, and they’re parents.

14: Is 10 canon?

Did you mean: headcanon?

15: If all ten ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Oh jeez, that’s evil. Probably Nezushi, because, uh, Nezumi. Or Thorki, cause they’re Gods?

16: Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Erik Lehnsherr...

17: Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Funny how half of the ships is dead themselves lol. EVERY SHIP of course.

18: Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

Oh yes.

19: If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink? You evil thing. Zukka or Thorki... I’m sad now!

[arthur-rex]

Although, I think it would be disingenuous to say Arthur was entirely comfortable with the magic at first (I would say uneasy, rather than disgusted personally). Not because magic is inherently bad, but because of what Arthur personally has witnessed magic be used for throughout his life.

Look, if your only male role model growing up is Uther Pendragon, you're born into a conflict where you are targeted by magic users for death as a baby simply because it's assumed you're going to grow up to become Uther mark 2... you're going to see, hear and absorb a lot of bad information and that has an impact on anyone's psyche. I'm sorry. This is the reality of Arthur's childhood, we can't sugarcoat it.

The thing is (and this is Arthur's saving grace) while he has valid reservations on magic, he still wants to believe people are better than their demons. That includes people like Morgana AND Uther, and why he's very reluctant to condemn either one of them. He wants to believe that not everyone has to take a violent path to assert themselves (why he looks so disappointed with Kara during her trial in S5E11, because while he understands her grievances with the magical ban, she did kill people. She was on trial for murder not her magic).

Arthur also has instinctual reservations about the concept of power and how it is/should be used. Even as early as S1 there are moments where he confronts his father on his harsh judgement on the druids. It's why he reaches out ultimately, and listens to others, why he learns so much and grows to respect the opinion of Merlin and Gwen (servants who any other blindly egotistical prince wouldn't spare a second glance at).

So yes, I headcanon that Arthur drew away from Merlin at first after the magic!reveal for many complex reasons.

There's residual fear of what magic can be used for (though this is almost gone after the "Great Dragoon" came to the knights' rescue at Camlann), there's anger that Merlin has lied to him and behaved like any magical assassin/influencer trying to get close to the king would do (for example, Merlin if he wanted could have easily turned Arthur into a puppet king - which would have been a massive violation of Arthur's autonomy) BUT... there is also that blinding realisation that in spite of all of that, Merlin did none of these things. He was kind, patient, challenging, encouraging and loyal to Arthur, to a fault. And Arthur trusted him to a fault, and came to rely on him in a way that he does with no other person in the series.

So the main feelings I think, behind Arthur drawing away initially from Merlin after the magic!reveal are due to those emotions of pain (betrayal of trust in their friendship) and shame, that Merlin never felt comfortable enough around him to reveal all of who he was to Arthur. This is testimony to the very real strength of their connection.

Arthur's actually a very lonely guy in some respects, who only wanted real friends (not noble sycophants) who could love him for being him. Merlin got the closest to being that person for Arthur in canon, in my opinion. Which is why the betrayal hurt so much but also the reason why he was able to get past that stage of hurt so quickly. Arthur understood Merlin's need for deception, though it was painful for him to process. He also could not help but forgive Merlin in the end, because being magical is not the core trait of who Merlin is. It's his kindness.

Edit: I understand the magic = gay subtext here. I completely get it, I ship Merthur myself. But in light of the full context of the story of BBCM, with the war against those with magic, the Purges, the atrocities committed by those with magic in retaliation, and all the innocent people caught up in the middle, I do think it can be a clumsy comparison to make. Magic in the world of Merlin can and has been used as a weapon. Being gay has nothing threatening or harmful in it. So y’know, when Arthur draws away initially because of a residual (valid) fear of magic in my headcanon, it does not mean he is a homophobe for god’s sake.

I just finished reading a post explaining why Merlin was a tragic hero, as same as Arthur, and it was great, really. Except for the one part that said and I quote "Merlin, protecting Arthur at his own expense because of his unconditional love and loyalty to a man who was so disgusted by the fact he had magic that he couldn't look Merlin in the eyes, Emrys", ????

This got me very confused because it made me realize that there really are some people out there who think like this. That Arthur was legit disgusted by Merlin's magic. And I feel so sad for them because they clearly didn't understand the whole point of the finale and that might suck heavily. Like, the finale already made us all miserable, but if you are one of those who misunderstood Arthur's reaction to the confession then it really must be horrible for you. So I thought maybe it would be nice to explain Arthur's reaction better for anyone who didn't fully understand it and that's the reason of this post lmao.

So, let's begin: in an act of despair, Merlin finally decides to confess his deepest secret to his best friend of 10 years, and so while Arthur is deadly injured, he reveals his magic to him.

Arthur is beyond shocked by this revelation and he tries to convince Merlin, and himself, that what Merlin is telling him is not true because "I would know". Because Merlin was always an open book with him, because they trusted each other, because they both knew everything about each other, so of course Merlin didn't have magic, he would've told him, he would've noticed, it was simply impossible.

Or so he thought.

But then Merlin goes and proves him wrong by conjuring a dragon with the fire flames and that's when Arthur realizes that yes, Merlin does have magic.

So he shuts down.

He needs time to process the fact that Merlin never told him about this huge detail about himself. That despite him trusting Merlin with his life, perhaps Merlin never trusted him with his. He feels betrayed, dumb, hurt and overwhelmed and so he can't even look at Merlin. He needs space. And he needs to be alone.

Now, he never, not once, had anything against the fact that Merlin had magic, all his trouble was because of Merlin's lies. And this is textually explained in later scenes when Arthur tells Gaius about Merlin's magic.

When he defeatedly realizes that Gaius already knew, he feels even worse and that's when Gaius tells him that he should not fear Merlin because of his magic, that Merlin is still his friend despite everything. Because of course Gaius, as same as we viewers, thought Arthur's problem with Merlin was the magic as he grew up thinking this was evil and no good could come out of it, ever, but Arthur's reply makes us realize that's not his problem at all.

"I want him gone [...] have him take word to Camelot, to Guinevere"

And with this single sentence he proves us, and Gaius, that he's not afraid of Merlin, that he doesn't think Merlin is evil just because he has magic, that even after all, he still trusts in him the most.

Because if he didn't, if he was really disgusted or afraid of Merlin because of his magic, he would've never suggest to send him back to his kingdom, to his Queen, the one who would have to rule Camelot if he doesn't survive Mordred's sword wound. He would have wanted him as far away as possible from everything that he loves and cares for the most. But he didn't because despite the magic, he knows Merlin's heart and he still trust him with his life, his kingdom and his Queen.

It's the lies that got him so hurt, it's Merlin's betrayal that makes Arthur want him away from him, it's the fact that Arthur always told him everything about him; even the things that he was ashamed of, because he knew he could trust Merlin, but Merlin never trusted him enough to tell him such a big part of himself; that got him so angry at him.

And all the scenes that come after between them supports those feelings: the only thing that Arthur keeps on dragging Merlin down about is the lies:

"You've lied to me all this time"

"Thought I knew you"

"I trusted you"

"Why did you never tell me?"

"So you're not an idiot, that was another lie?"

And that's also why it was so easy for Arthur to accept Merlin's magic ("why don't you use magic?"). Because his problem was never the magic itself, but all the lies and deceiving.

And that's what makes him so different from Uther I might add. Because while Uther could never see the person behind the magic, Arthur could. That's why even when believeing magic to be utterly evil, he could accept Merlin almost inmediately. Because he knew Merlin, he knew his heart, how good and pure it was and he knew that even despite the lies, Merlin was still Merlin and there was no ounce of evil in him. And so he could see that magic was not evil in itself and Merlin was the proof of that.

So in the end, Merlin did succeed in his mission: he made the king embrace and accept magic once again. And yes, Arthur accepted it and embraced it the minute he realized all the good Merlin did with it. That's why he thanked him at last: he recognized all Merlin did for him and Camelot with his power and thanked him for it, because he finally got to know that he got there and achieved all that he achieved in his kingdom thanks to Merlin's magic. Merlin's pure and good magic. Because magic could be good. Merlin proved it to him. And so he died knowing that, knowing the truth.

So there's that. Arthur was never disgusted by Merlin's magic, he was overwhelmed and extremely hurt by Merlin's lies.

*deep sigh*

And to think that all Merlin had to do to make Arthur embrace magic again in his kingdom was to tell him the truth and everything he did to help him and Camelot. The only proof Arthur needed to believe magic could be good was Merlin's pure heart. And if Merlin did trust him a tiny bit more and find the courage to confess to him, he would most probably have lived a longer life with Arthur right by his side.

But aye, the writers wanted us to suffer, in Christmas I might add, so that's exactly what they did. And till this day fans' tears are still being shed. Mine's included of course.

Cool.

[ariadnedionysia]

fandom meme : hit me up !

I was tagged by @flintvane​ and am genuinely embarrassed that i didn’t see this before now omg i’m so sorry babe

I’m tagging @sherlock-and-other-things​ , @girlwhowasntthere​ , @deinonychus-1​ , @frodobagginsess​ , and @sherlokiofpigfarts​ ! and anyone else who would like to do this meme!!

putting it under the read more bc it’s hilariously long sO

1.  YOUR CURRENT OTP(S)/OT3(S)/OTX(S)

oh gosh i have a bunch so i’m going to try and limit myself but pythacarus ( always ), gwen / leon and gwaine / percival from merlin, foggy / matt from daredevil ( i don’t watch daredevil anymore but i just watched the defenders so they’re on my mind ), jane / michael from jane the virgin, tom / sybil from downton abbey will always be a fave, dean / seamus, lavender / parvati, harry / ginny, and remus / sirius from the harry potter series, and then caleb / ben and robert / abe from TURN are my final two

2.  A PAIRING YOU INITIALLY DIDN’T CONSIDER BUT SOMEONE CHANGED YOUR MIND (BONUS POINTS: WHO WAS THAT PERSON).

i’d never considered korinna / heptarian until @girlwhowasntthere​ mentioned them and now i actually really love the ship i’d never thought about it before

3. A PAIRING YOU USED TO LOVE, BUT IT ALL FELL APART FOR YOU.

oh god. um. you know i used to watch reign and i was a really big fan of mary and francis, whom i still love don’t get me wrong, but they took mary on a really uncomfortable plotline for me in i think the second season that was unnecessary and clearly purely for //drama// and i just couldn’t quite get over them doing that and what it did to the ship it just made me uncomfortable with them and with watching the show altogether

4.  HAVE YOU ADDED ANYTHING CRACKY/HILARIOUS TO YOUR FANDOM, IF SO, WHAT.

i don’t know if this counts but i did the emily watches atlantis series? i don’t know if that counts but i think they’re funny so i’m putting it on the list?

5.  WHAT’S THE LONGEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN A FANDOM

harry potter. i’m super proud to be a part of that fandom and i’ve been in it since the first book came out so that’s definitely the fandom i’ve been in the longest.

6.  DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST OTP, IF SO WHO WAS IN IT.

i’m trying to think and it might’ve been richard / kahlan from legend of the seeker ( the show, not the books, i never actually read the books oops ), though i’m not sure. 

7.  NAME A FANDOM YOU DIDN’T CARE/THINK ABOUT UNTIL YOU SAW IT ALL OVER TUMBLR.

copying @flintvane​ ‘s answer and saying black sails !

8.  SAY SOMETHING GENUINELY NICE ABOUT A CHARACTER WHO ISN’T ONE OF YOUR FAVES (CHARS YOU’RE NEUTRAL ON ARE FAIR GAME, AS ARE CHARS YOU DISLIKE)

oh god. there are a bunch i have things to say about and i can’t decide bUT i’m gonna go with petra from jane the virgin. i used to really hate her at the beginning of the series, i thought she was horrible and i just couldn’t stand her, but as the series has continued she’s really become this amazing and realistically flawed woman that i just want to see happy. i wouldn’t say she’s my fave, but i do want to see her happy. 

9.  NAME THREE THINGS YOU WISH YOU SAW MORE OR IN YOUR MAIN FANDOM (OR A FANDOM OF CHOICE)

i’m gonna say atlantis for this one sO

1. another season. i mean come on, guys. come on.

2. more pythacarus, we just got the one kiss ( which was amazing a+++ ) but that was pretty much it, i know they’re not the main focus of the show, but i do love them dearly and would’ve loved to have seen more

3. where the hell are the rest of the argonauts and why did jason not go back for them i need that reunion like. two years ago. pls.

10.  CHOOSE A SONG AT RANDOM, WHICH SHIP OR CHARACTER DOES IT REMIND YOU OF

i just put my itunes on shuffle and “oceans” by seafret was the first song to come on, and it reminds me of ariadne / jason

11.  A PAIRING YOU SHIP THAT YOU DON’T THINK ANYONE ELSE SHIPS

gwen / leon from merlin. i know merthur is the Big Ship of merlin, i don’t really see many other ships there except that one. but i think a lot about gwen being pretty much abandoned by everyone she loves / loved after arthur dies, since gwaine and arthur and elyan and morgana are all dead and merlin just decided to peace tf out, but the last shot we have of her is with leon and her being a queen on her own and bringing peace to albion, etc etc, and i just think. i mean. they said they were childhood friends somewhere back in i think season two, and they were really the two people besides gaius that knew arthur the longest, and i just think that after arthur died, they would’ve been each other’s main supports, and eventually, they could’ve ended up together. this is unnecessarily long but i just have a lot of feelings about them okay and i don’t know anyone else that ships them so they’re my ship for this wOO

12.  YOUR MOST SCANDALOUS HEADCANON FOR YOUR CURRENT OTP(S)/OT3(S)/OTX(S)

i don’t think i really have any scandalous headcanons?? i’m very boring with my ships haha sorry, all my headcanons are angst or fluff

13.  DO YOU HAVE ANY HARD AND FAST HEADCANONS THAT YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING, ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL (GENDER IDENTITY, SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC ORIENTATION, EXTENDED FAMILY, SEXUAL PREFERENCES LIKE TOP/BOTTOM/SWITCH, RELATIONSHIP WITH POETRY, SERIOUSLY ANYTHING)

pretty much any poc harry potter hcs i will defend to the death, bisexual remus lupin, myka and hg wells in warehouse 13 dated at some point, bisexual harry potter, remus / tonks was unnecessary. i liked them and everything, but i didn’t really see the point of downgrading such an amazing woman like tonks to the Love Interest. she deserved better. even remus lupin knew that. danny in the defenders needs to say “i’m the immortal iron fist” less pls and thank. putting caleb and ben ( show: TURN ) with women ( that we never actually got to see ) at the end of the show was weird. bisexual musketeers. there aren’t enough lesbians in any shows m/m ships are easier to ship since there actually are some, but f/f ships are too rare and that’s a Problem. more women friendships, i’m super tired of the women being nasty to each other bc they like the same guy or whatever. peter pettigrew had a snape/lily -esque love for sirius, which is why he turned in the potters, so sirius would think remus was the secret keeper and have no one to turn to except peter. james potter grew up and evolved, pls don’t compare him to snape. neville longbottom is pure and must be protected. luna’s family can just be whimsical!! you don’t need a Dark and Edgy reason behind it, they can just be wonky and happy and weird!! every single nickname in the harry potter series is fckin hiLARIOUS. ginny weasley deserved better than she got in the movies, they did her a massive injustice. 

14.  5 FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM 5 DIFFERENT FANDOMS

1. ariadne ( i adore pythagoras but i’m gonna go with ariadne bc reasons ), atlantis

2. constance, the musketeers

3. cosima, orphan black

4. ginny, harry potter series ( /quietly pushes movie!ginny into a corner book!ginny for life )

5. ben talmidge, TURN

15. 3 OTPS FROM 3 DIFFERENT FANDOMS

i’m gonna put ones that i didn’t put in the first question : 

1. nomi / amanita ( sense8 )

2. korinna / ariadne ( atlantis )

3. luna / ginny ( harry potter series )

16. 5 FAVORITE SHIPS

THESE ARE SUCH HARD QUESTIONS OH MY GOD i’m going to try and put ones i haven’t mentioned before all of my ships that i’ve mentioned are favorites though okay

1. captain james / molly ( our girl )

2. fleur / tonks ( harry potter )

3. hernando / lito ( sense8 )

4. athelstan / ragnar ( vikings )

5. sirius / peter ( harry potter )

17.  JUST RAMBLE ABOUT SOMETHING FAN-RELATED, GO GO GO (PROMPTS OPTIONAL BUT ENCOURAGED)

i came late into the atlantis fandom, so i didn’t get much of a chance to be there before the series was over, but i remember seeing it all over my dash before season two came out, it was like the day before the second season started, and i was like. i gotta check this series out. so i watched the first episode of the first season, and proceeded to marathon the entire first season so i could start the second season with you lovely people in the atlantis fandom, and honestly, i’ve never been part of a better, happier, drama-free fandom. i love it so much and i love all of you so much and this is slightly cheesy but i just think everyone in the fandom is amazing. 

other things. um. okay well this is sort of fan-related, but i’ve met the most amazing group of people through my group, @orderfromchaos-rp. it’s such a talented and fantastic group of incredible writers, and i just love all of them to pieces, i’ve never had such an amazing rp experience. 

i’m hardcore worried about johnny depp and jude law playing against each other in fbawtft. i’m not a fan of jude law for this role and i actively, adamantly hate johnny depp, so i’m honestly worried that’s going to ruin that ship for me. 

i’m super excited about being a part of all the fandoms i’m in, honestly, i don’t totally know what to do for this part of this meme so i’m just ranting but i’m seriously hoping i can be in a fandom that doesn’t have its show cancelled soon after i enter it, because being longterm fandom buddies with new material sounds amazing and i would love to be a part of something like that again, i’m not really active in many fandoms rn and i wanna change that, so hmu with any suggestions for things i should watch!!!!

[couragesun]

TaiyamaWeek17 *Day 1*

So I’m, like, REALLY late (May is a complicated month y’all).... but gosh darnit I’m gonna do it anyway!! 

Write about when and why you like Taichi/Yamato 

Let’s see..... I started liking Taiyama back in High School. Originally I was a Taiora shipper, but I had a crisis mid-fic and realized the MASSIVE amount of taiyama subtext and was like “Huh... these two together....I like it”. And then it kinda spiraled from there until these two dorks became my ultimate OTP. 

I could wax poetic about why I love their relationship all day.

I could talk about how Yamato looks at Taichi the way someone stuck in winter looks at the sun on the first day of spring. How Yamato’s sharp edges seem to soften in the presence of Taichi’s warmth. How Taichi is the center of Yamato’s solar system, and he is continuously caught in the ebb and flow of his gravitational pull, melting his icy exterior one day and setting him on fire the next. I could talk about how Yamato choosing to become an astronaut made perfect sense to me, because he has always been drawn to the brilliance of stars....

I could talk about how Taichi looks at Yamato the way a sailor gazes at the ocean; marveling at its sheer depth and magnitude and breathtaking beauty. How even with his telescope it took him a while to see every cave and hidden treasure. How Taichi, ever the adventurer, would want to explore every inch of it until it’s as familiar to him as his own body. How even though the ocean can be cold and salty and mysterious, Taichi holds fast to the belief that there is so much more to him than what’s on the surface...

But instead I’m going to take a moment of self reflection and really delve into why these two have occupied so much space in my head for so many years.

If I’m being real with myself, I can admit that most of my favorite ships fall into a “type”. I absolutely adore the rivals/enemies-to-friends trope: klance, destiel, sterek, drarry, gratsu, merthur, jily, just to name a few. There’s something incredibly appealing to me about two characters who instinctively don’t like or understand each other, and then as time goes on they grow to appreciate each other’s differences. And the ones that reALLY stick with me are the ones who go one step further and become better people by taking time to understand those differences. 

Taiyama is the perfect culmination of this trope, but they took it two steps further. Taichi and Yamato have changed so much since Adventure 01 -- Taichi has mellowed out significantly, become a better mentor and leader, and learned to be more considerate. Yamato has become more confident and secure in his friendships, become less controlling, and is more open with his feelings and emotions -- and a lot of those changes I associate with their relationship. They’ve balanced each other out so beautifully, and there’s a lot of unspoken admiration and love that comes with adapting qualities of another person to your own personality. 

These two really do love each other. I think that if taiyama ever became canon then very little would change in their relationship, and I LOVE that about them. I even headcanon that these two would be so exasperated that they fell for each other: “Really heart?? THIS guy?? The idiot who tired to eat soup with a fork for ‘science’??” or “Ohmygod nooooo! I’m going to be stuck listening to shitty emo music for the rest of my life! Is emo contagious?!” But all jokes aside, they make so much sense to me. They bring out the best in each other and push the other to greatness. They accept each other for their flaws and have no problem calling each other out on their bullshit. They would kill and die for the other, and gosh I just love them so much :3 

[lady-ofmagic-andstars]

Honey, you’ve got so many fics to write ahahhahaha

1. Unnamed soulmate au (if you have any ideas, pls tell me hahaha)

2. Sequel to Gwyn’s Love is found on the armoury floor (yes Gwyn it’s the Gwaine x Leon fic ahhaha) I’m maybe considering calling this one a variation of ‘love is found’ but I haven’t found one yet 😂

3. A sequel to For the First Time in Forever based on Frozen 2 that will perhaps be called Show Yourself but I haven’t decided yet

4. Come Home

5. Many untitled Merthur headcanons that will probably never see the light of day

Tagging: @invisibility-superiority @ace-of-sspades @emachinescat @cressjacquine (if you guys write) and anyone else who wants to share!!!

WIP Title Tag Game

(New Thread)

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet or tell you something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WiPs.

thank you @shana-rosee for tagging me!! I know i said i wasn't going to but I changed my mind ahaha I'm gonna do it.

I also definitely do not have 76 people to tag so ahah will be just tagging a few people.

Please send me asks with the titles that intrigue you i am d y i n g to talk about my wips lmaooo

The Titles:

Only the Finest Silk

and I'll Leave Astilbes at the Lake

risk it all (working title)

The Ghost of Daobeth

Riches to Rags

Electric Love

Hold Me, Darling, Things Are Changing

Brothers in...Beans?

Dearly Beloved

Washed Ashore

The Rhythm of a Heart [What Makes a Human]

Magnolias & Orange Blossoms

Not His Father's Son

When's the Wedding?

Dear Future Self, Will We Ever Succeed?

Inferno Hearts

Between the Land & the Sea

A Rose By Any Other Name

Time Ticks

A Man's Man

Dearest, You Said

Prince of All Things Gold

Love of Tomorrow

Three's a Crowd

Bearly Attracted

Discovering Immortality

Dragon Invasion

He Stole My Knight!

Husbands for Sale

Love at Last Sight

Shipping Wars

Dangerous Illusion

One Bride, Two Bride

Dream Boat

His Majesty, My King

Impossible Bride

All My Stars

The Summer Prince

Before Us

How to Steal a Heart

The Poisoned Truth

Dragon's Reign

Warning Signs

You In Your One Million Layers

A Spell Too Far

Dagger in the Heart

Crazy Love

When I'm Not Around

The Search for Merlin

The Filth in my Bones

He Who Makes Your Heart Bloom

Fuck You [My Place After Dinner?]

Could Be Worse

King of Nothing [Is Actually King of Everything]

And That's the Trouble with Loving You [Though I Still Do]

How to be a Prince: A Complete Guide

Best of Show

The Value of a Life

High Speed Internet

Love These Aching Bones

Every Fragment of My Being [Is Yours]

The Game of Fitting In

How to be a King

and When the Walls are Closing in [Stay Close to Me]

Moving Forward is Hard to Do

A New Role, A New Fear

To Be What They Want [Is To Forget Yourself]

Under Pressure [Tell Me It's Okay]

and when insecurity waxes and wanes [i find security in your arms]

When Everything Changes

To Capture a King

Chaos Crew™

Truly Forgotten

A Forgotten Art

below the surface

Among the Stars

ahahahahahahhaha yeah. I used to have 83 but I finished 7 of them so now i have 76

Tagging: @oncefutureemrys @lady-ofmagic-andstars @seadeepy @fluffypotatey @aeonthedimensionalgirl @iconiquejuliawicker @powered-by-notes/@camxlots-retxrn @kickassfu @magiclia16 @myrddinthewizard