#i have plenty of tags n such to look back on. im good :P

[a-killer-obsession]

Hey you know im gonna need AFAB she/her reader with a respectful number 9 with some accidental P and desperate T >:3c and if you can work in some F and W elements too well that would be an added bonus

That's a extra large number 9 McHorny Meal with a boytoy, please enjoy your meal!

Touch of Pollen, Touch of Pearl

Prompt: Sex Pollen + Thighjob + First Time + Body Worship

Additional Tags: afab reader, she/her pronouns, shark anatomy (claspers aka two dicks), masturbation, this came out a little omegaversy lmao, biting, size difference, this is basically a monsterfucker fic, oral (recieving), fingering, forced orgasms, pervert fish?, p n v sex, creampie, cumshot, aftercare, friends to lovers

WC: 7.6k dear god

Event Masterlist

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

You were a little anxious to say the least, pacing the lawn deck of the Sunny nervously as you waited for the scouting party to return. You'd only been on the crew a few months, but you cared about them greatly, and though the island was uninhabited you still held concerns. As the new botanist for the Straw Hats, born and raised in the New World, you knew how deceptively dangerous even just the plant life on these sorts of islands could be, and you cursed yourself for not insisting you joined the scouting party when you didn't draw a coloured straw to be chosen. Grass was flattened and getting damaged in the straight path you walked back and forth, other members idly sitting around on the lawn or stairs but nonchalantly keeping an eye out as well.

Usopp stood on the stern castle deck near the entrance to the aquarium, a telescope in hand that quickly shifted as he caught movement at the treeline. “They're coming back!” He announced, mouth turning downwards to a pout, “I think something is wrong, Robin's fleur is carrying Boss Jinbei”

You rushed up the stairs and grabbed the telescope to look, pointing it to where he'd been looking. Sure enough Nami and Robin were running towards the ship, Robin's arm's crossed and pink petals swirling in the air as giant hands appeared and disappeared in turns, carefully passing along Jinbei between them to move alongside them. He looked unconscious but you couldn't see any blood from this distance, so it was impossible to tell what was wrong. You could see Robin through the telescope as she spotted you, concern on her face as her mouth began to move. You almost yelped as the voice appeared right beside you, her pretty mouth tickling your shoulder where it had appeared as she spoke.

“[Y/n]! Can you hear me? Nod if you can,” the mouth said in Robin's sweet voice, a little panicked sounding which filled you with worry given her usually calm demeanour during times of crisis. You nodded in her direction, still too small to see her properly without the telescope but you assumed she had an eye somewhere you couldn't see. “Good, listen to me carefully. The three of us got hit with some sort of pollen spores, but it only seemed to affect Boss Jinbei. I'm worried about contamination so tell the others to put Boss Jinbei's mattress in the aquarium, then keep everyone clear of us, I mean it. Even Chopper, we don't know yet how this will affect the others if we still have pollen on us”

You gave a stern nod and turned to the others, who were slowly gathering behind you. “Franky, grab the Boss's mattress and take it to the aquarium then come back here. Nobody approach them when they arrive, I have a theory but right now it's not safe, we don't know how contagious they are”

“But I have to treat Boss!” Chopper cried.

“I know Chopper, but we can't have our brilliant doctor getting sick, Jinbei wouldn't want that,” you told him, making Chopper do his blushy little wiggle dance, “they said they all got hit by pollen so they could still all be covered in it, we need to keep our head about us”

“Okay…” Chopper said sadly, kicking at nothing. Franky returned from moving the mattress and joined the others as they gathered in front of the door to the boy's cabin, leaving plenty of space for the scouting party to ascend the gangplank and head to the aquarium. A giant hand appeared on the deck in a flurry of pink petals as they got close, receiving Jinbei from the previous hand and taking him to the aquarium as a trail of smaller hands received him and passed him through the door and out of sight.

“Robin-cwan! Nami-swan!” Sanji cooed as he ran towards the two women ascending the gangplank with open arms. You caught him by his collar, momentarily choking him as you yanked him backwards, throwing him at Zoro who rolled his eyes and hooked his arms under the cook's armpits to trap him.

“Sanji are you stupid?” You chided, “I told you we have to stay clear!”

“Sorry, my darling! I was caught in a spell of love!” Sanji replied, immediately starting to fight Zoro and setting off a fistfight that quickly ended for both of them with a hard knock to their heads from your closed fists, leaving them to sit on the grass and rub their scalps. Robin was saying something to Nami as they came on deck, and Nami quickly disappeared up the stairs and through the aquarium door.

“Robin! What happened!?” Chopper cried, rearing to go to her.

“It was some sort of mushroom,” she panted heavily from the run and straining use of her devil fruit, who knew how long they'd been running. “Nami stepped on it and it let some sort of cloud of spores out, and then Boss Jinbei started getting sweaty and feverish and collapsed”

“Did you see the mushroom?” You asked, a theory in mind but you needed to check your books and confirm the plant first.

“I did, and I'm guessing you have the same theory as I do about its effectiveness,” she suggested.

“Aye,” You replied confidently. “Sanji, Chopper, go to the kitchen once Robin and I are behind closed doors, use the pulley to communicate with Nami. I don't know the exact nature of what he's being affected by right now, but there are many plants and fungi on the Grandline that only affect males, so I believe us women are safe, as well as Brook I believe, since he doesn't have the capacity to be affected by drugs. Brook, go take Nami's place so she can shower, tell her to rinse her clothes and make sure she scrubs her hair well, Robin and I will go to the library to confirm the mushroom”

“What about the rest of us?” Luffy asked, pinky up his nose casually. You were glad to have such a laid back captain who had no problem giving up power at a time like this.

“The rest of you stay in the boy's cabin till someone comes to get you,” you ordered, already starting to leave, Brook long since run off to relieve Nami. “You have to all stay here till there's no chance of contamination. It shouldn't take long, just until Nami and Robin are clean, but under no circumstances is anyone other than myself, Robin, Nami or Brook, permitted to enter the aquarium. Even if Jinbei is cleaned we won't know if what he has is contagious to the rest of the men on board anyway”

“Right!” Usopp declared, hands on hips, pretending that he wasn't terrified and unbelievably relieved that he could just go hide in his bed.

You hurried off to join Robin, the two of you rushing up the stairs, the sound of footsteps and little hooves a safe distance behind you as Sanji and Chopper headed to the galley. You rushed to your shelf and pulled out a few books while Robin described the mushroom in great detail. Small, fat head, vibrant purple, blue spots, bulbous, she described it as being the relative shape and size of a dog's penis, which seemed oddly specific but you didn't question it. Robin searched through one book while you searched another, until she, with her undeniably impressive research skills, found a diagram of the mushroom she'd seen and slid the book across the table for you to decipher the technical jargon that she only particularly understood, being that this wasn't her field of knowledge.

“This isn't good,” you bit you lip as you recognized the page and remembered what you knew of it, “he's been hit by a powerful aphrodisiac, and just as we thought it only affects the males of species that procreate through sexual reproduction”

“It probably bolsters species numbers so it has more corpses to feed off,” Robin said nonchalantly. You shuddered at the incredibly morbid observation but she was probably right. “How will it affect Boss Jinbei?”

“His body is telling him right now that he needs to breed,” you sighed, scanning the page and reading the lists of side effects and potential treatments. “He's essentially going into the mammal equivalent of a rut. It says here the effects can last up to four days until-” you re-read the passage over and over hoping you were reading it wrong but disparingly it remained the same.

“Until what?” Robin asked with great concern as she noted your hesitation.

“Until his body gives out from the strain and he dies,” you replied, voice shakey. Robin was cold and silent as she processed the statement, logical mind in overdrive as she looked for a solution, separating herself from her feelings to keep her wits about her as she often did in situations like this. “What happens when animals are exposed?” She finally asked. “If it wants them to reproduce, surely it doesn't just kill them?”

“It says they mate several times and the effects wear off, if they don't find a mate the mortality time frame is two to seven days depending on the size of the animal,” you reported, slumping into a chair in defeat, already mourning the loss of the helmsman you'd come to really care for. Really, really cared for. Now that you were losing him, your heart was going into overdrive and you regretted never telling him how you really felt. Would he even be coherent enough to understand if you told him now?

“So he just needs to mate then,” Robin said matter-of-factly, like it was no big deal, shaking you from your self-immolating spiral. You brows shot up in surprise, like she wasn't suggesting the fishman just needed to get laid to save his life. “Do you want to do it or shall I? Nami is only interested in women, I don't believe she'll be of help here.”

“Robin!” You exclaimed, vibrant blush spreading on your cheeks as you considered what it might be like to lay with Jinbei. So strong… so… big… it wasn't like it was the first time you'd thought about it either. Robin quirked a brow, she could practically see the cogs turning in your head.

“You like him, don't you?” She smiled knowingly. You gave a frustrated huff and crossed your arms but didn't correct her, making her giggle. “I'll leave him in your care then. I should go shower, but I'll update Chopper on the situation afterwards and say what he says”

“Robinnnn, I can't-” you complained, “I mean… he's not in his right mind, what if he hates me after?”

“I can assure you that Boss Jinbei will probably be the one apologising profusely afterwards,” she smiled, “he'll probably blame himself and claim he took advantage of you. It'll be fine, [y/n], I think he'll be thankful you did it instead of letting him suffer and die. It's not the worst thing to happen, he is quite fond of you after all”

“He is?” You blushed, picking at your cuticles under the table.

“He told me himself he thinks you're quite beautiful,” she assured you, no hint of untruthfulness or malice in her voice. “I should warn you though, I've discussed fishman anatomy with him in great detail for my research and you may find he is quite unlike any human you've been with”

“Ah, yes.. because I have definitely slept with other humans,” you mumbled sarcastically. Robin took a seat next to you and rubbed your hand reassuringly.

“[Y/n] my dear, are you a virgin?” She asked softly, no hint of mockery in her voice, only quiet concern.

“... yes,” you replied in a small voice. She made a little sigh and rubbed the back of your hand with her other, your palm sandwiched between her soft warm ones.

“Are you sure you want to do this then?” She asked, “I don't want you to be uncomfortable. It's a lot to ask of someone even if they had experience”

“It's okay, I think, if it's him,” you replied with a heavy blush, “it's not that I never wanted to, I just never had the opportunity, given my… coloured… history. I've done… some things… just never the whole way. What do you mean thought by ‘he's unlike a human’?”

“Ah,” Robin smiled softly at you, “you see, Boss Jinbei is a whale shark fishman. His genitals are quite like that of a whale shark.”

“Meaning?” You pressed.

“Meaning, he has claspers instead of a penis,” she explained. You cocked a brow, not missing the plural.

“Claspers, multiple?” You asked.

“Yes, two of them,” she answered causally with that usual sweet smile of hers like she hadn't just dropped a bombshell. You must have been cherry red at this point, your face hot with flush. “There is also something else,” she continued, and you wondered how she could possibly have anything more shocking to say than dropping than Jinbei has two dicks. “You are aware of how some mammals lock together during mating, yes?” You nodded anxiously, already seeing where this was going, “Claspers have a similar process, so you may find a little discomfort as he finishes”

“Oh, okay,” you blinked, trying to recall every moment in your life that led to this bizarre scenario. That's what you get for staying on the Grandline you guessed. “What do I… um… what do I do? I mean how do I… how do I please him?”

“Just follow his lead,” Robin assured you, “I'm sure despite the pollen he will be a gentleman. Boss Jinbei has a strong will, a little horniness isn't going to be enough to make him hurt you”

“Okay,” you replied anxiously.

“I'll keep the other's from the aquarium, make sure you shut the pulley hatch though, or the sound will travel,” she winked as she stood, bringing on a whole new round of fluster. “If you change your mind just tell me, I won't judge you if you don't feel comfortable with the situation, I'll take care of him if you find yourself unable to”

“Thank you Robin,” you sighed as you stood, following her out the door. You made your way down the stairs as she headed the other way to head to the bathroom, and you took a deep breath before entering the aquarium. Jinbei was laying on the mattress in the middle of the floor, pushed up against the bar seating that surrounded the mizzenmast running through the center of the room. His kimono was open to the waist, his red sun tattoo on full display, smooth skin dripping with sweat as his chest heaved with heavy breaths. He was unconscious still, Brook carefully dabbing at his forehead with a cold damp cloth.

“Ah! [Y/n]-san! Do you have news?” Brook asked hurriedly, resting the cloth over Jinbei's forehead as he turned his attention to you. You sat on one of the bench seats that lined the half moon room, blue aquarium lights colouring the room in soft lighting that would be romantic under other circumstances.

“We know the mushroom that he was affected by, and we were correct in thinking it only affects males,” you looked at Brook, “sorry, males within their fertile age range.” Brook nodded for you to continue, not taking offense to your attempt at not immasculating him, he understood what you meant. “I can help him, he'll be okay, but I'll need some privacy for the rest of the day and evening. The treatment is quite delicate, I don't think he'd like others seeing him in that position”

“It sounds like you're going to torture him,” Brook half laughed, and you struggled to force a smile for him to keep it lighthearted. In reality, Jinbei's current position, laid out and panting, half clothed and covered in sweat, was having an effect of its own on you, and you felt a little ashamed that you were beginning to look forward to the… treatment… despite the fact that Jinbei was clearly suffering right now. “Shall I leave then?” Brook asked, standing and reminding you how incredibly tall he was.

“Yes, thank you Brook, I can look after him from here,” you hummed, “please ask Sanji to send our dinner up in the pulley as well as plenty of water. I'll also need some clean towels, and probably some more cloths with a bucket of water to wet them”

“Aye aye, [y/n]-san!” Brook gave a mock salute, “please take care of Boss-san!”

“He's gonna be okay, Brook,” you smiled, running a thumb over the back of the skeleton's cold boney hand. You weren't sure if he could feel it but you hoped the motion was comforting anyway. You could tell that Brook was concerned, he was doing his best to come off as nonchalant but you knew he cared a great deal about Jinbei, and could hear the underlying concern in his voice. He gave your hand a squeeze, letting you know he understood the gesture and appreciated it, before leaving to pass on your message and gather things for you.

You pulled your knees up to your chin as you watched over Jinbei. From what the book explained, right now he was going through a process that would usually take several days, his body being pumped full of hormones that would put him into a frenzy when he eventually woke up. For now he would likely be asleep a little longer, so you had a little time to prepare. First you took the towels and bucket of water that were sent up the pulley, setting them aside on a bench with the bucket on the floor. You set the large jug of water Sanji sent up on the bar counter along with the two glasses, and set beside them the lovingly made snacks that were sent up with them. You took the opportunity to eat and drink a little while you could, then, satisfied there was nothing more to be done, you locked the aquarium door, shut the pulley hatch, and removed most of your clothes. They were going to come off anyway, you may as well make it less awkward for Jinbei by doing some of the work now, leaving yourself in only your loose comfortable shirt and panties. You curled up on the mattress beside him, Jinbei making little groans as you pressed against his side. His usually cool skin was almost blistering to the touch, yet it erupted in goosebumps wherever you made contact. You hoped your physical presence could offer him some comfort during his fever dreams, at the very least he would know he wasn't alone when he woke up.

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆

The mattress shifting underneath you woke you from your unintentional nap, heavy breathing and groans next to you indicating that Jinbei was awake. You realised his kimono was draped over you like a blanket, still warm from being against his feverish skin, but notably that meant he was likely naked. You turned your body to face him, his bare back to you, hand at his front moving frantically, you didn't need two guesses to know why. You could hear his teeth occasionally click together like he was biting air as he made frustrated growls and fisted himself. He nearly jumped out of his skin as you reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder, his smooth skin coated in sweat.

“[Y/n]!” He exclaimed, curling in on himself to hide his shame, “please excuse me! I didn't mean to- I mean I had to- ah, I'm usually more controlled than this!”

“It's okay Boss, you're not in your right mind,” you cooed, rubbing his back soothingly, “you've been dosed with an aphrodisiac, how much do you remember?”

“Ah, we were scouting and then,” his brows furrowed as he tried to fight the horny haze in his brain to concentrate, “Nami stood on something, and there was some sort of cloud, and I felt warm and dizzy. I don't remember anything after that. Ah, are the other's okay?”

“She stood on a mushroom,” you explained, “Robin and Nami are okay, as is everyone else. The mushroom only affects breeding age males, the others are all being kept clear of this room. Right now, you're experiencing the mammal equivalent of a rut. Do you understand?”

“Ah, that does explain my… condition,” he hummed, cheeks flush with embarrassment. Jinbei was strong and brave, even against emperors he showed no fear, but when it came to matters of sexual needs, his confidence was practically stripped from him. He was raised in a generation that instilled a great amount of taboo about all things of a sexual nature, he knew it was just a natural process many experienced and the foundation of how most species continued, but he couldn't bring himself to work past the feeling of shame that sat deep within him for having such desires.

“I know this is… awkward… but you have to let it run its course,” you said softly, “you have to give in, or it'll wear you down till your body gives out. That's why I'm here. I imagine you are… unable to find satisfaction on your own right now, because of the pollen”

“You would be correct,” Jinbei cleared his throat awkwardly, “but I can not ask you to do that. I will die with my honour intact instead, I will not force myself on you because of this”

“Jinbei…” he shivered a little at your use of his name, you only ever called him Boss as many of the crew did, and his name sounded like honey dripping from your tongue. “You won't be forcing me to do anything, I'm offering. I… like you…” your voice cracked a little as you forced out the confession, no time like the present you guessed, especially if this was your only chance to say it. “Robin has offered as well, if you would prefer her…”

“No!” He spooked you a little with the speed he turned over, taking your wrist firmly but not painfully in his large smooth hand, “I, I want you. I woke up thinking about you. Even before I realised you were here, I could smell you, that delicious sweet scent you have,” your breath hitched as he pressed his nose against the crook of your neck, forcing your head to move and unintentionally baring it for him. He took a deep inhale, making a small groan as he caught your scent. “You've always smelt so good to me, and you're so beautiful. So sweet and strong and kind, I care a great deal about you. Which is why I can't take what you're offering, my pearl”

“I can't let you die,” you whispered, pressing your forehead against his as he retracted his face from your shoulder. You shuffled forward so your bodies were pressed together, feeling the long hard forms of his two cocks against your abdomen. It made you ache with need, unconsciously pressing harder against him. “I want you, Boss,” you whispered, “and I want you to be okay. So use me, use my body to fight the pollen, so you can live. You care about me, don't you? Don't hurt me by letting yourself die because of a stupid outdated concept like honour. It's not honourable to let yourself die needlessly, let me help you”

Jinbei made a little whimper as your words soaked in, letting you guide his hand to rest against your ass. You reached down between your bodies, taking his claspers in your small, shaky hand and doing what you could to hold them together, unable to wrap your hand around them properly. He was big, proportional to his large body, each one being about the length and width of your arm from fingertip to elbow, thicker even perhaps, smooth and tapered at the end, witg none of the prominent veins or defined head that a human cock had. He made a stuttered groan as you touched him, his hand flexing on instinct and unintentionally squeezing the flesh of your ass, his hand large enough to cover the whole of your rump. It was just as well he was big, with your face up near his you could barely reach, the base of his cock closer to your knees than your own center, but his cocks were long enough that you could reach the top third of them anyway.

His eyes were shut as you touched him, making restrained groans as you ran your other hand up his chest, till it cupped his cheek, running your thumb curiously over the edge of a tusk. His eyes opened in surprise as you pressed your lips against his, small mouth slotting nicely between his tusks which were smooth against your cheeks. His eyes closed again as he returned the kiss, his lips parting as his tongue pressed against yours, so wide it barely fit in your mouth, sparking arousal at your core at just how big everything about him was. His sharp teeth were no issue as he kept dominance over the kiss, pollen driving his need as he began to buck into your hand, the tips of his claspers finding their way under your shirt till he was sliding against your warm bare skin. Something in him snapped as you let out a needy whine, pollen taking his mind completely as he broke from the kiss and flipped you over so your back was against his front, your core aligned with his. He pressed against your ass, his cocks driving against you as he rutted desperately till he found what he needed, the pair sliding between your thighs and making him growl as he found the pressure he was looking for. He immediately set a fast pace, fucking your thighs hard, hands holding your hips tight as his cocks rubbed firmly against your center, grinding against your clothed clit and making you moan. Your moans only spurred him on more, entirely driven by lust and need, and he could feel the way your panties grew damper with every long pull, the scent of your arousal thicker by the moment and slowly driving him insane.

He made a possessive growl as he tore your panties from your body, making you yelp in surprise, his hands pushing your shirt up roughly and groping your soft breasts as he felt the first drops of your slick against his cocks and made a deep satisfied rubble that reverberated through your chest as he pinned you against him. His claspers were pressed hard against your pussy, slicker with every pull, rolling your clit back and forth between them as they moved, making you whine and squeeze your thighs harder to force more pressure. You couldn't have fought him off even if you wanted to, his hold so tight on you as he moved one hand back to your hip, the other still kneading your breasts and playing with your nipples, that clicking sound of his teeth slamming together returning behind you. A thought occurred to you, knowing he was being driven by instincts right now, and knowing many predator species used their teeth to hold the female during mating.

“Boss, you can bite me if you need to,” you whined, pulling your shirt aside to expose your skin. His nose breezed against your neck again, making you shiver, the clicking sound now right against your ear. Your shirt was suddenly torn open, the remnants hanging weakly from your torso as you felt his teeth nip at your skin. He didn't sink them in like you thought he might, instead just pricking the skin like little needles, barely noticeable past the pleasure he was giving you, making small love bites that only occasionally drew a tiny amount of blood, which he would tenderly soothe with his wide tongue before making a new mark. The deep rumble in his chest continued, almost akin to a purr, making your whole body vibrate pleasantly. He shifted slightly and it had the effect of making one cock zero in on your clit. Previously it'd been sort of ground between them, but now he was making direct contact against it and your coil quickly pulled taught. You fought his hold instinctively against the overstimulation, but unable to escape you had no choice but to let go, gushing over his cocks and shaking hard against him. He groaned as he felt your release and bit your shoulder again, this time holding his teeth almost threateningly against your delicate skin as the ends of his claspers opened like umbrellas and great swathes of cum shot from them, pooling against your thighs and on the mattress in front of you as you made overstimulated whimpers.

His hold only slightly loosened on you, his thick tongue running over your shoulder and neck before shifting so you fell back against the mattress, cum pooling underneath you as the weight on the mattress made it run in your direction. You felt utterly lewd sitting in a pool of his cum, some of it still dripping over your front as you panted, the thick fluid slowly seeping into the bedding below as it cooled. His tongue never stopped moving as he loomed over you, running it over your torso, wide enough that he could envelop an entire breast with one swipe of the wet appendage before sucking it into his mouth, careful of his teeth as he flicked your pert nipples with the tip of his tongue. You were a squirming, panting mess underneath him, the scraps of your shirt pulled from your body leaving you entirely nude underneath him, his tongue travelling further and further down as he licked and touched every part of you. He pushed your legs apart and knelt between them, grabbing your ankles and pulling them up so he could run his tongue over your legs, leaving you with only the upper half of your torso against the mattress as he dangled you practically upside-down. The way he manhandled you made you ache, he could snap you like a twig if he wanted to but his hands were firm and gentle, prying your legs apart as you grew suddenly shy. He gave you a hungry look as he held you open by your thighs, his large hands able to wrap right around them like he was holding no more than a couple of training weights, admiring the vibrant blush on your face as you failed to hide behind your hands, and the way his cum was now coating your hair with the way he was holding you. He kept eye contact with you as he ran his tongue between your folds, making you buck and squirm as he held you tight, lapping at you like you were a frozen treat before zeroing in on your sensitive clit and giving it a harsh suck. The sounds you were making made him rut against nothing, though occasionally you could feel the tips of his hardened lengths against your back whenever his hips jolted forward. The end of his tongue teased against your entrance and you held your breath, overly anxious from having never been penetrated before. He could see your hesitation and despite the cloud of lust, he stopped himself, concerned for your wellbeing.

“Do you want me to stop, my pearl?” He asked, voice husky and deep, making your eyes momentarily flutter shut as you shivered.

“No, don't stop,” you whined, “I just haven't… I've never had anyone there”

“I can avoid that, if you'd like,” he said softly, “there are plenty of other things I can do,” he continued playfully, running his tongue flat over your pussy to emphasize his point.

“No, I want it,” you moaned, reaching up to touch him but unable to reach, arms falling uselessly back to the blankets, “I want you inside me, please Jinbei”

Your hips rolled on their own accord, searching unconsciously for fullness, and his cocks twitched at your neediness. “I'll be so gentle with you, my pearl,” he cooed, the tip of his tongue back at your entrance where you ached for him. He pushed it in slowly, watching your face carefully for any sign of unease or pain, knowing full well his tongue was thicker than any normal human man's cock. He probably should have used his fingers first, but they were impossibly thick as well, so it probably made little difference. At least your previous orgasm had relaxed you a little, allowing him to get about a third of his wide tongue inside you without much resistance, slowly sinking more in as you stretched around it. You were already moaning and writhing at the fill and he hadn't even done anything yet, making a grin spread over his face as he watched you drape an arm over your eyes and grope at your own breast with the other hand.

Finally he hit the thickest part of his tongue, sliding the rest in with relative ease, making you let out a long, deep moan as his tongue began to thrust in and out of you, causing you a type of pleasure that was entirely unfamiliar to you. He barely had to move, making agonizingly slow, shallow pulls and thrusts with his tongue that had your pussy fluttering around him, crying out in pleasure while your honey pooled on his tastebuds. He curled it inside you, pressing against your spongey g-spot and making you see white as you suddenly came again without warning, gushing on his tongue, making him groan as he made lewd slurping noses and drank your release.

“You're doing so well, my pearl,” he praised as he removed his tongue, giving you one more wide stripe of it before lowering your pelvis to his lap as he licked his lips. You could feel his claspers, hard and twitching against your back. Your legs were either side of Jinbei, soaked pussy pressed against his front by design, arousal catching on his curly black tuft of pubic hair as your chest continued to heave with every heavy pant. Your ass was pressed against the base of his cocks, and from this position you could feel how they reached all the way to your upper back, to the bottom of your shoulder blades. There was no way you could take him, it was physically impossible, but you couldn't help your curiosity as you wondered what it might feel like for him to fill you with what he could, especially given the nirvana you'd found with his tongue alone. One of your hands stayed drapped over your face, unable to bring yourself to look at him, embarrassed by how debauched you must look. The other you slid under your back, making Jinbei grunt as you found a clasper and stroked it experimentally.

“Jinbei,” you whined, “want you~”

“Are you sure, my pearl?” He asked hesitantly, bringing a thumb to your wet cunt and pressing it gently against your swollen clit, making you squeak. You could feel how hard he still was underneath you despite how much he'd cum earlier, the pollen needed more from him, he needed another release, and you wanted it too.

“Want you inside me, please,” you moaned, rolling your hips to grind yourself against his thumb. Jinbei's teeth clicked together again, and he shook his head as he fought the suffocating cloud of lust the pollen was causing. Everything in his brain was telling him to grab you hard and use your body till you were fat with his babies, but he couldn't do that to you, so small and fragile and trusting under his strong hands. You finally pulled your arm away from your face enough to look at him, peeking out from beneath your forearm, eyes blown out with lust, your lip millimeters from bleeding as you bit down on it.

“Fuck,” he huffed, knowing full well he couldn't deny you when you were looking at him like that. You shivered with anticipation, you were sure you'd never even heard him swear before, and it made your pussy drip knowing it was your expression alone that made the usually polite, well mannered gentleman curse. He wasn't even sure at this point if it was the pollen or just your body squirming under him that made him feel so aggressively horny and possessive of you, seeing the perfect half moons of small red dashes that littered your skin from his teeth, marking you as his. He wanted all of you, and the way you gripped his cock told him how much you wanted all of him too.

He slid his hand under your rump for just a moment, freeing the clasper you weren't holding, pulling it to the front and letting it fall heavy against you with a wet slap. The base of it gave you something to grind against, which you did eagerly, lubricating him with your arousal while his tip laid between your breasts, precum dripping from it and dribbling down towards your neck. You looked at him as you teasingly craned your neck, swiping your tongue over the end and gathering some of the salty fluid that leaked from it, feeling it pulse against your abdomen as more fluid leaked onto your tongue. You let yourself lay back again, ass still raised in his lap as you grinded against him, licking your lips as you held eye contact. He made a little growl, undeniably turned on by what you'd done, then he grabbed you with a hand under your back and the other under your ass, scooping you up and moving you easily as though you weighed nothing, seating you on the long bench that bordered the aquarium. Your body was almost as blue as his under the soft lighting, and his hands pressed against the underside of your thighs, pushing them up and out so your cunt was on full display for him, pussy slightly gaped from his thick tongue and glistening with honey. He had you practically folded in half, chest and head pressed against the back of the padded bench, ass at the edge of the seating, legs in the air. You would have been embarrassed by how exposed your cunt was but the hungry way he was looking at you overrid any inclination of shyness. He lowered his face to your pussy and ran a wide stripe up it again, letting his tongue continue upwards, running over your stomach and between you breasts, lapping up his own precum until his tongue reached your mouth and he captured your lips in a hungry kiss.

He used the kiss to distract you as he slid two thick fingers inside your pussy, pumping you slowly and scissoring them to stretch you out, the webbing between fingers catching against your edges and assisting with the stretch. He added a third, swallowing the whine you made at the slightly painful stretch, which faded back to pleasure as you adjusted to him. He brought his cocks up to rest against your stomach and you reached between your bodies to take one in each hand, stroking them the pace he was setting with his fingers even if you couldn't fit your hands right around them.

Satisfied you were open enough to take him, he sat back on the balls of his feet, fisting his claspers together in one hand, his hands big enough to reach around both at once with no issue. You bit your lip as you looked at them, so impossibly big, and it was like he could read your mind as he ran a soothing thumb over your inner thigh.

“I don't expect you to take all of me, my pearl,” he assured you, “just some of one will feel devine I am certain. Are you ready my love? You can say no, I won't be upset with you.”

You nodded and bit your finger nervously, letting your knees fall outwards to spread yourself as wide as you could, feet resting on the curved bench either side of you. He took a clasper in each hand, guiding one to rest against you while he positioned the other at your entrance. “It may hurt a little at first, but only for a moment. You'll tell me if it gets too much, right?”

You nodded again and he gave you a soft smile, running a hand up your chest till it cupped your face, holding you so very gently and rubbing his thumb over your cheek and lips as he began to slide his cock inside you. He'd prepared you well, but there was still some amount of stretch, a slight stinging pain as your entrance widened to its limits. He saw the pained expression on your face and cooed soft praises, moving as slowly as he could until he felt his tip press against your cervix, pulling back a little so he wouldn't hurt you by pressing against it. He stayed deadly still until the pain written on your face melted, your expression falling back to pleasure as you appreciated just how full you were with his body connected to yours. When your eyes opened, not even realising you'd closed them in concentration, you found him looking at you with such pride and devotion that you couldn't help but offer him a half-lidded smile, which he returned with his usual toothy grin, making your heart soar.

“Are you ready now, my love?” He asked softly, his smile making you feel significantly less nervous, remembering that this was Jinbei, and you were safe with him.

“Y-yes,” you replied, biting your lip as he began to drag himself back out of you, and gripping the fabric of the bench below you hard as he sunk back in. His pace was agonizingly slow for both of you, barely half of his cock shealthed, the other clasper resting heavily against your abdomen and grinding against your clit with every thrust, meeting with the buldge in your abdomen that made Jinbei's eyes roll back every time he saw it, aroused by seeing himself so deep inside you.

Bit by bit he increased his pace as you grew more comfortable, whines turning to strings of loud moans and cries of his name, making tears in the fabric of the seating below you as your nails sank into it while you held on for dear life. Your entire body was being rocked back and forth as he fucked you, pollen slowly winning out over his better judgement as he lifted one of your legs and nipped at the calf. He had to put all his will power into keeping himself from sinking any deeper into you, but your hot wet walls felt so tight and devine around his cock, the soft skin of your belly giving pleasant friction to the other. The hand not holding your leg was resting at the top of the bench over your head for support, wood creaking under the strain as it threatened to break. He couldn't help but blush when he looked up and saw the fish in the aquarium watching him, a small audience as he fucked you senseless.

“Jinbeiiii,” you whined, pulling his attention from the voyeuristic fish, “I'm- I'm gonna-”

“Let go for me, my pearl,” he groaned, “I'll be right there with you, you're doing so very well”

You went practically silent as you saw white, body arching off the bench and seizing, hands reaching out and grabbing at forearms, sinking your nails into them as you came hard. You felt a swelling inside you as his clasper opened, vaguely registering through your haze as the other opened against your belly, liquid spraying out over your breasts and neck, some even splashing against your face, while more still filled you and dripped from your overstuffed cunt as Jinbei groaned and stilled. Both of you went slack, Jinbei's cocks slipping from on and in you and slapping against his thighs wetly as he pulled away, hands either side of you to keep him from crushing you. He kissed you softly, both of you unable to do any more than exhausted soft pecks in the intense afterglow of your orgasms, cum dripping down your center and leaking from your cunt, pooling on the floor beneath you as he helped you sit up a little better. He looked at the fish above you and gave them a little growl, the school quickly dissipating at threat of being eaten.

You weren't sure how long the two of you sat there in silence, panting heavily and exchanging soft kisses. At some point he redressed, using the cloths and towels you'd prepared earlier to clean you both up as best he could. He frowned at your clothes, torn in his lust-addled haze, making note to himself to replace them, before taking the cape from his kimono and wrapping it around you. He sat on the bench next to you and pulled you into his lap, and you giggled as he hand fed you snacks and water, smiling to himself at how cute you were, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks that you still seemed so trusting of him after the relatively hard fuck he'd given you. His mind felt a lot clearer, the pollen now worked out of his system, but he couldn't find any ounce of regret at what had happened, and neither could you.

[risingsunresistance]

man idk there's so much to say on the like/reblog thing but i think the main point i feel strongly about is like. please consider that artists dont owe you anything unless you're literally paying them. they could decide tomorrow that they're tired of posting and leaving

if you have an artist you enjoy but you're never sharing their posts, consider why. maybe take a second to remind them that ppl enjoy their stuff, even if it's just by reblogging it or maybe just leaving a reply. maybe even send them an ask if that's something you'd rather do. doesnt boost their posts, but it still gives feedback. i just think feedback is a pretty big motivator even on the smallest posts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[freddiesaysalright]

Just Like a Woman - Part 4

A Roger Taylor x Reader Fic

Summary: You and Roger were once in love when you were young. Only, he went on to be a rock star, and you went on to be a lawyer. Now, quite against your will, you’re representing him in his divorce.

Word Count: 3.7k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @moon-stars-soul, @im-an-adult-ish, @ixchel-9275, @jennyggggrrr, @zyanmaik, @mypassionfortrash, @a19103, @madeinheavxn, @beepbeephardy, @lizawritesthings, @qweenly, @blisshemmings, @seasidecrowbar, @internationalkpoplova, @ellystone, @takemetoneverland420, @coffeexcigarette, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @thatpunkmaximoff, @angelkissys, @rocknroll-stolemyass, @simonedk, @anotheronebitesrogertaylor, @peterquillzblog, @mrfahrenhcit, @joseph-mozzerella, @theprettyandthereckless, @flick-ofthe-wrist, @johndeaconshands, @rogerandhiscar, @queenmaracasandlove, @sunflower-ben, @cubetriangle, @amy-brooklyn99​, @scorpiogemini  If you’d like to be added, let me know! Also, I’m sorry the tags aren’t working for everyone? Tumblr is dumb and idk how to fix it :(

A/N: Okay, time for the full story of Y/N and Rog :) Also. I realize I posted the previous chapter yesterday, but I was in a MOOD today so I hope y’all enjoy!

Warning(s): mentions of abuse

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Part 4 here we go!!!

“So, tell me about Roger Taylor,” said Dr. Tracy. 

You scowled at her. “Why, what does he have to do with anything?”

“From what Mark tells me, it has a great deal to do with your relationship,” she said. “I want the whole story.”

It was only your second therapy session, and you were already annoyed. It mostly felt like a way for Mark to spill his feelings about you to someone other than you, and have that person validate him to your face so you couldn’t argue.

You were also annoyed because you felt like the more people brought Roger up, the harder it would be to move on. It had been two weeks since you had confronted him outside the bar, and even though you showed a cool exterior during your meetings with him, your heart was still breaking over what you had learned.

“Y/N?” said Dr. Tracy. “Can you begin please?”

“Fine,” you sighed. “I met Roger when we were six. His father was an abusive and terrifying man, and before my family lived in the house next door, Roger would go to the shed and hide in there. After my family and I moved in, I found him in there on a rainy evening looking for a tool my father needed...”

The skinny blonde boy was sopping wet and quaking behind a large bag of fertilizer. He glared fiercely at you. It was almost frightening, especially with the blood dribbling from his lip. But, his own fear - so evident in those wide eyes - eased your own. 

“Are you okay?” you asked.

A large drop of water leaked from the roof and onto his face. He shook his head.

“D’you need some help?” you wondered. “You’re bleeding. My mum’s a nurse so she’s got plenty of bandages.”

“P-please,” he shivered.

“Well, come on, then,” you said, offering your hand.

He took it. It was frigid compared to your warm one, but you felt his need in his grip. Forgoing the errand for your father, you led the boy inside. You came into the kitchen, where your mother was making dinner and your father was reading quietly. They both looked up and saw you with the strange, helpless boy and they looked at each other.

“Who’s this, Y/N?” your father asked.

You faced the boy. “Oh! I forgot to ask your name!”

“It’s Roger,” he said with a sniffle.

Your mother disappeared into the sitting room and returned with a blanket, wrapping it tightly around Roger’s shoulders. He shot her a grateful glance but then looked resolutely at the floor.

“How’d you find Roger, dear?” you mother wondered.

“He was in the shed,” you said simply. “He’s hurt.”

Your mother knelt down in front of him. She took his chin between her thumb and forefinger and lifted his face to inspect it. She saw his split lip. In the light, she also saw the bruise forming along his cheekbone.

“Have you been fighting, Roger?” she asked gently.

“No, ma’am,” he told her. “My dad got angry at me because I didn’t pick up a toy, so he…”

His lower lip trembled as his eyes filled up with tears.

“Oh, you poor darling,” your mother cooed. “Stay right here, love, we’ll fix you up.��

She bustled upstairs to retrieve her things. Roger sniffled. Your father looked at him.

“Come here, Roger,” he said.

For the first time, Roger released your hand. He stepped warily over to your father. Your dad lifted the boy up and placed him in his lap, caring nothing about the wet clothes dampening his work pants.

“There’s a good lad,” your father said gently, rubbing Roger’s cold arms. “Are you bad hurt?”

Roger shook his head. “S’just my lip, sir. I’m alright.”

“That’s not what I mean,” you father said. “Bad hurt isn’t something you feel on your skin. It’s something you feel in here.” 

He pointed to Roger’s chest. His heart.

“Are you bad hurt, Roger?”

Tears spilling out of his eyes, Roger nodded.

“You father scares you?” your dad continued.

Roger nodded again. “Yes, sir.”

Your father nodded. “You may call me Felix, if you like.”

Just then, your mother re-entered the room, fresh clothes and first aid kit in hand.

“And that lovely lady is my wife, Vivian,” he went on. “And of course you’ve met my daughter, Y/N.” He paused thoughtfully. “Roger, I don’t know how you found your way to our shed, but you’re welcome to come to the front door.”

“Can’t,” Roger said. “I live next door, he’ll see where I went. If I go through the back fence, he doesn’t follow me.”

“Come to the back door, then,” your father said. “I promise I’ll never lock it.”

“Really?” Roger returned, eyes wide with wonder which had replaced his fear.

“Really,” you father assured him. “So the next time something like this happens, or you’re feeling bad hurt, you can come here. We’ll do what we can to make it better for you.”

Gently, your father reached up and wiped the tears from Roger’s cheeks.

“There we go, there’s a handsome chap,” he said. “Ready to let Viv clean you up?”

You mother smiled warmly at Roger. He nodded. Your father eased him off his lap and then Roger took your mother’s hand and followed her into the bathroom so he could change and she could treat him. You looked at your dad.

“Is there anything we can do, Daddy?” you asked. “To make his daddy be nicer to him?”

“I’m afraid there isn’t much that would be effective, sweetheart,” he replied. “But what we can do is show him that there are good and kind people in this world. And we can remind him that he is deserving of kindness. That will have to be enough for now.”

He stood up, patted your head, and went into the sitting room to the piano. Your dad was a banker, but he was also an incredibly talented musician. He always said he played piano and did a little banking on the side as a joke. 

Roger emerged, looking much happier. He drew close to your father and looked at the shiny white keys. 

“Do you play?” your father asked.

Roger shook his head.

“Would you like to learn?”

Roger nodded and grinned.

“Well, climb on the bench, I’ll teach you some,” your father said.

Roger hastily obeyed and clamored onto the bench as your father took a seat beside him. Your mother sat on the couch and you went and crawled into her lap. The two of you watched as your father showed Roger the basics. He learned quickly. Music came easily to Roger, and you thought then that he would one day amount to something great. 

Your father then let you take his place and you taught Roger a few little diddies you knew. Felix and his wife started back toward the kitchen so they could finish dinner and fix a plate for Roger as well.

“What can we do, Felix?” Vivian asked. “Can’t we call someone?”

“We can try, but I’m afraid that will only come back to hurt Roger,” Felix replied. “Let’s wait for now. If things get drastic, we’ll step in. Until then, all we can do is show him as much love as possible.”

She sighed. “Alright, then. Oh, the poor, poor dear.”

They departed to the kitchen. You and Roger stopped playing the piano and looked at each other. Unbeknownst to your parents, you had both heard what they said.

“Roger,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” he wondered.

“I’m sorry is what people say to someone when they’re upset,” you said. “So, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “For the sorry.”

“Wanna learn a real song?” you asked. “Then every time you come over, we can practice it.”

He brightened at that and nodded. Thus began your journey together.

“I see,” Dr. Tracy said as you wrapped up. “And at what point did you two progress from childhood friends to sweethearts?”

“We were fifteen,” you said. “Roger was starting to sort of realize his appeal to girls and that boys were also interested in me. It actually started from a fight because he had asked another girl to a party…”

“I’m not mad!” you insisted, storming through your front door. “You are perfectly welcome to ask whomever you like!”

“Well, something’s wrong because you’ve ignored me all day!” he returned.

“What’s going on out here?” your mother wondered, bursting into the living room.

“Y/N’s upset with me,” Roger blurted out.

“I am not!” you cried, stamping your foot. “Mother, tell him I’m not upset!”

“I think I’d be hard pressed to convince him of it if you can’t,” she teased, nodding at your posture and deep frown. “Now, what’s this all about?”

“I asked Pam Davis to Mary Key’s party, and now Y/N isn’t speaking to me,” he explained.

“Y/N, is that true?” she asked.

You huffed. “I was just under the impression he and I would...never mind, I was clearly mistaken.”

Your face was bright pink and you looked resolutely at the carpet, toeing it with your shoe. Your mother looked knowingly between you and Roger, who looked equally embarrassed.

“Well, I don’t think I can settle this one,” she said. “You two will just have to work it out on your own.”

You turned on your heel and swept into the kitchen. Roger looked at your mother.

“Better go and fix it, Rog,” she said.

“On it,” he sighed, and followed you.

You yanked the fridge open and reached for a Coke. You tugged the cap off and took a swig, letting it cool you down. 

“Y/N, are you upset because you don’t have a date?” Roger asked. “Because I can get you a date. There’s plenty of blokes who’d be glad to take you.”

“I don’t want just any bloke!” you cried, exasperated. “Can’t you see?!”

“Oh, there’s someone you like?” he wondered, perking up. “Tell me!”

“God, you’re such an idiot!”

“Why am I an idiot?!”

“Because you are!”

“Tell me the reason!”

“I like you, you idiot!” you shouted.

You stared at each other, out of breath and both shocked at the words that had just come out of your mouth. You inhaled deeply, collecting yourself.

“I like you, Roger,” you said calmly. “And I don’t know how you don’t know it.”

“Well, Y/N, we…” he trailed off. “We’ve always been best friends. How was I supposed to know things had changed?”

“I dunno,” you said. “I’m just as new to this as you are. But when you asked Pam to be your date, I was hurt. Bad hurt.” 

“Y/N, I had no idea,” he said gently. “I’m sorry. If I had known, I...well, I wouldn’t have asked Pam.”

“Y - you wouldn’t?” you questioned.

He shook his head. “No. The truth is, I was afraid to change things between us because I don’t think I could stand to lose you. But, I like you too.”

“Really?!” you gasped. 

“Really,” he said. 

He stepped closer to you. You observed suddenly that he was much taller than you remembered. You looked up into his eyes. His hand moved to caress your cheek. Your heart pounded in your chest.

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed.

“Yeah,” you sighed back.

He pressed his lips tenderly against yours. It was a little unsteady and light, giving you the opportunity to stop him. You didn’t. You just kept right on kissing him. Your lips moved with his as gracefully as dancers moved through a waltz. Neither of you really knew what you were doing, but you didn’t care. It was the way you showed what you were both feeling.

“Y/N,” said Roger, pulling away for air. “Come with me to Mary’s party. As my girlfriend.”

“O-okay,” you agreed, a smile blooming across your face.

Not only did you just have your first kiss, but you got your first boyfriend. And it was someone you cared for more than anyone else in the world.

“Now, how long was it before the two of you made love?” Dr. Tracy asked.

“Oh, I’m not telling you that!” you returned indignantly. “That’s private!”

“How long?” she insisted.

“Why is that important?” you demanded.

“Your first experience with intimacy can be a contributing factor in issues in new relationships,” she said. “When did you do it and what was it like?”

You briefly imagined yourself opening your mouth and breathing fire onto this woman until she burned to a crisp. You cleared your throat.

“We were seventeen, and it was wonderful,” you said. “Of course it was awkward and unsure since neither of us knew what we were doing, but we eventually got the hang of it and we were happy.”

“So the sex was good?” she asked.

“It was great,” you said.

“How is the sex with Mark?” she went on.

“Oh, come on!” you cried. “He’s right here!”

“Ah, so not good,” she observed.

“That’s not what I said!” you protested.

“Well, if it was good, you would have just said so,” she said. “And your resistance to talking about it in front of him implies that your opinion would insult him. So, I must assume it’s not good sex.”

“Let’s move on,” Mark interjected. “We can have that conversation at another time.”

“Alright,” Dr. Tracy agreed. “Y/N, tell me how things with Roger ended.”

You sighed. “Well, that was tough. I was still in uni. He had already dropped out and was becoming successful with the band…”

Your dingy little London flat reeked with the food you just burned. How your mother managed to make perfect meals, work, and raise a child was beyond you. Your only responsibilities were studying and work, so why was it so difficult to cook? With an aggravated groan, you tossed it in the bin and started debating what you wanted to get for take out. That was when Roger came in.

“Hello, darling!” you greeted warmly. “How’s recording going?”

“Fine,” he said shortly.

You looked him over. He seemed agitated and nervous.

“You alright, Rog?” you asked. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. He scrunched up his nose. “What did you burn this time?”

“Chicken,” you chuckled. “I’m gonna go for some Chinese. Wanna come?”

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you,” he said.

His tone made your heart skip a beat. You had a feeling that Roger might be about to propose. You had discussed marriage before, but you both agreed now wasn’t the time. But you had also told him you were not opposed to a long engagement. 

“What is it?” you wondered.

He sighed heavily and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Do you ever feel like you’re missing out?” he wondered. “On other people?”

“How do you mean?” you questioned, brow furrowing as the panic set in.

“Well, it’s just that our whole lives, we’ve only ever been with each other,” he said. “Don’t you ever wonder what it’d be like to...I dunno, kiss someone else?”

“No,” you said. “I love you, Roger.”

“I love you too, Y/N, but I feel like there’s more out there,” he said. “Now that I’ve gone on tour and seen other places I feel like there’s so much to be explored. And...I want to explore it. Don’t you?”

“No,” you repeated, darkly. “I love you, Roger.”

He sighed again. “I love you, Y/N.”

“What are you getting at, then?” you demanded.

“As much as I love you, I don’t want to be tied down anymore,” he said. “I know we’ve discussed getting married, so I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but I’ve been thinking it for a while. The band’s getting bigger, and it’s only going to progress. And I’m not ready to settle down with just one person.”

“So...you want to break up?”

The question hung between you. You weren’t sure how you even managed to ask it with a lump in your throat the size of an ostrich egg. Your heart was cracking inside your chest.

“Yes,” he said.

With that one word, you felt your heart shatter completely. Your whole world was collapsing on top of you. The assurance you had always placed in Roger was an illusion.

“Well,” you choked out. “At least you’re telling me now.”

“That’s all you have to say?” he questioned.

You met his eyes and saw they were just as teary as yours.

“What else can I say?” you returned. “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”

“I have,” he said.

“Well, what do you want me to do?” you questioned. “Beg for you to stay?”

“You don’t want to fight for it?”

“Why should I? If I’m not enough for you, Roger, then that’s it. I won’t guilt you or force you to be with me.”

“I feel like you’re giving up,” he said.

“I’m not the one leaving,” you reminded him.

A moment passed where neither of you said anything. It was so heavy your knees almost buckled beneath the weight of it.

Roger sniffled and quickly wiped his eyes. 

“I don’t even know how to say goodbye to you,” he struggled to say.

“Maybe it’s best if you don’t say anything,” you told him. You felt a tear slide down your cheek. “That way we make it easier on both of us.”

“Y/N…”

“Go, Roger,” you ordered him. 

“Y/N, please.”

“Go.”

He took one last look at you. You were scowling, tears flowing down your cheeks, eyes red and puffy. Even then, he thought you were beautiful and he began to doubt his decision. Suddenly, he realized that he would no longer have his best friend, and it made him hesitate.

“Roger,” you said, drawing in a deep breath. “I really need you to go.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, resigning himself to the damage done. “I...I am sorry, Y/N.”

“Okay,” you said shortly.

He held your gaze again. Your bottom lip began to tremble as the reality struck you. Roger was leaving you. Roger, who you had given everything too, including your heart, was going to walk out of the door and out of your life. 

He broke away, crossed the room, and opened the door. You heard it squeak as he hesitated again. Then he sighed and left. The door fell closed with a soft click. That was it. No hug, no dramatic kiss, no screaming, no fight. 

When the door closed, you broke down with a wail. This was not the Roger you knew. Ever since the band became successful, you had seen glimpses of his desire for more, but you’d ignored it. You thought surely he loved you more than he craved that lifestyle. And yet, he proved to you he didn’t. It seemed impossible that time moved on when your heart was breaking so badly. If there were any justice, everything would have frozen so you could properly nurse it. But all you could do was crumple into a heap and feel the pain. 

“Life went on,” you said. “He became a successful drummer. I became a successful attorney, and I’m mostly happy.”

It was a lie. Just remembering the day Roger left you made you emotional.

“Mostly?” Dr. Tracy questioned.

“Well, I had hoped to be married and have children at this point, but Rog - I mean, I just never met the right person,” you said.

“Let me ask you this -” she began, but Mark cut across her.

“I think I’ve heard enough,” he said, getting angrily to his feet. “I can see now that you really aren’t over Roger Taylor and I don’t think you ever will be.”

“Mark, don’t be ridiculous,” you said. “Obviously, he was a big part of my life, but I -”

“Don’t, Y/N!” he shouted snatching away the hand you had reached for. “I can’t do this anymore!”

You stood up as well. “What? Are you serious? Just because Roger was part of my past! That’s crazy! I’ve found somebody else, and -”

“No!” he cried. “I’m a placeholder, Y/N, and I won’t stand for it!”

“You are not!” you argued. 

“Okay, then answer me this,” he challenged. “Do you love me?”

“I - well, I don’t know yet!” you insisted.

“Well, I love you,” he said. “And I know that because we’ve been together long enough for anyone else in the world to know! The problem is, Y/N, that love is wasted on you as long as Roger Taylor walks this Earth!”

It was like all the air was sucked out of the room. You felt yourself harden against the hurt of his words. His face fell, regretting them.

“Love is wasted on me?”

“I didn’t mean -”

“No, I think you did, Mark,” you interrupted. “That was the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Y/N -”

“No, I think you’re right,” you said, grabbing your things from the back of your chair. “Let’s say our goodbyes. After all, I wouldn’t want you to waste anymore love on the likes of me.”

You said nothing else, but swept out of the office. Hot tears stung your eyes. You never thought Mark capable of saying something so hurtful. 

As you walked, heading back to your firm, you looked at the ground, deep in thought about what had transpired. You paid little attention to your surroundings, and therefore, ran smack into a man who was emerging from a building you were passing. 

The collision nearly knocked you off your feet, but the man was quick to react and steadied you. You looked up to meet the eyes of the very man that started all this.

“Roger?” you questioned. “What are you doing here?”

“I work here,” he said, pointing to the building he had just walked out of. “This is the studio.”

“Oh,” you said.

You bit your lip to keep your emotions in check. You really needed to cry right now so you were eager to get back to your office.

“Y/N?” Roger asked, noticing your eyes welling up. “Are you okay?”

Too upset to bother with your pride, you shook your head. 

“No.”

“Bad hurt?” he wondered.

You nodded. You weren’t sure if it was that you’d talked about him for an hour or the sting from Mark’s statement, but suddenly you couldn’t contain the overwhelming feelings swirling around in your heart. You let out a sob and fell into Roger’s arms.

[haro-whumps]

Box Boy Bedding

(CW: DUBIOUS consent, drugging, slavery, brainwashing, creepy + intimate whumper *very intimate*, videorecording)

Tag list: @thatsthewhump @whump-it @ashintheairlikesnow @fairybean101 @finder-of-rings @comfortforthepain @shameless-whumper @that-one-thespian @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @raigash @im-not-rare-im-rarr @spiffythespook

Masterlist

Adults only below cut

Ren trailed their fingers through Soren’s hair, watching the golden strands slip off their fingers and fan back down to Soren’s back. Soren delighted in the touch, as he always did, and Ren kissed his nose.

“Finish up,” they said, and went to their room, where the cameras were already set up. The dildo they’d purchased--not actually from Whumpees-R-Us, this was far too pleasurable for that lot--was no wider than their finger, at first. It had an internal chamber that one could snap a premade container of lube into, specially sized for the toy, and would then secrete the lubrication from designated pores over the duration of its use. But plenty of toys did that, the reason Ren had bought this one specifically was because the owner could plug in measurements, and the toy would slowly expand to that size. No need to prepare sweet Soren when they could just have a machine do it for them, at a steady and calculated pace. 

And the lube they’d filled the container with was a special little something they’d picked specifically for today, too.

“Exalted, I—“

“Position 23,” Ren cut him off, turning to see him in the doorway. He was on the ground in a moment, obedient and unquestioning, though his face, what Ren could see of it, looked confused. “Pretty boy,” Ren praised, crossing over to him. “You’re always so good for me.”

“Thank you Exal—eep!” Soren squeaked as they pulled his pants down, flowing eggshell white cloth they’d picked themself for the day. 

“You’re very welcome, Soren,” they said, voice smooth and low, as they pushed the dildo in. “Relax, baby, let it happen,” they purred. 

“Y-Yes,” Soren said shakily, forcing his body to receive it, “Yes, Ren, ah!”

Ren held down the button that would power the toy on, and smiled when it beeped once. They pulled Soren’s pants back up and gave his rump a friendly little pat. “Good boy, Soren. Now we wait. I’m going to catch up on some shows on my laptop, come cuddle with me in bed.”

“Y-Yes, Exalted,” Soren said, rising slowly. He stood bow-legged for a moment, before stumbling after Ren, the intrusion leaving his gait strange and awkward. Ren laughed at him, then kissed him before shoving him into bed. He gasped and jerked on impact, the toy undoubtedly jarred by the movement. 

“Such a pretty boy,” Ren said smugly, pulling out their laptop and making themself comfortable on the bed. 

“Thank you,” Soren whimpered, shifting minutely, then again, more visibly, like he couldn’t get comfortable. He pressed himself up against Ren, face pushed into their hip. “E-Exalted?”

“Yes, angel?”

“Wh-what’s, um, why is, what’s happening?”

“I’m preparing you, sweetheart,” Ren said easily, petting his hair. “You’re going to be nice and loose and slicked up for me, and then when you’re all stretched out, I’m going to fuck you.”

“I-I see, Exalted, th-thank you for--AH!”

“You’ll feel it expand at different intervals,” Ren informed him with a carefully casual voice, like they couldn’t care one way or another. Inwardly, they were delighted. “It won’t hurt, baby, but you’ll feel it.”

“Y-yes, Honored One, I do, it, ah, it’s…”

“Distracting?”

“Yes, Exalted.”

“That’s okay, baby, you go ahead and just focus on it. I won’t need you to do anything for me until it beeps, you can go out of focus for a little while,” Ren said, stroking his hair, hoping he would focus entirely on it, on the sensation inside him. They hoped it would leave him desperate.

They rewatched old videos, mostly just eyeing Soren. The aphrodisiac in the lube worked faster than Ren had expected, but supposed that it made sense, given the location of absorption. 

Soren quickly devolved into a flushed and shivery mess, body twitching involuntarily and his pretty cock pitching one hell of a tent in his loose pants. His wriggling grew increasingly pronounced, and his body jerked each time the toy expanded in size.

Ren got to watch, thrilled, every movement, every sudden twitch, every time he squirmed, every shudder that coursed through him. Ren got to listen, delighted, to every gasp, every whimper, every rustle the sheets made when he repositioned himself, desperate for some kind of relief. He alternated between pressing his face into their thigh so hard it had to hurt his nose, and prying himself away from Ren to struggle against the sheets, keyed up with a need so bad it looked painful.

“Ren,” he whined, high pitched and voice so full of that special need Ren nearly called it quits and pounced on him right there. But no, no, this had to be perfect.

“Mm? You say something baby?” Ren asked, pretending they didn’t hear, taking out an earbud. 

“P-Please, please, I, I need, I n-need--”

“You need to be patient, precious Soren,” Ren purred, stroking his hair back from his sweaty forehead. He looked up at them with cloudy vision, the drug absolutely overwhelming his little brain, and they smiled, which prompted a shaky, mindless smile back.

“You’re so beautiful like this, Soren,” Ren commented, “I like how you look when you’re redfaced and desperate.”

“Please,” Soren gasped, hardly more than a whimper, “please.”

“I can feel your hand shaking against my thigh, pretty bird,” Ren murmured, shutting their laptop and putting it aside.

“Please, Ren, ple-ase,” Soren begged, voice so small, so shivery. He tried to slide his hand up, up their thigh, coax them into action, but they stilled him easily with two fingers against the back of his wrist.

“Patience, my pet.” Their voice was low and quiet. “Patience, my lovely little Soren.”

“I need--” his breath caught, fingers squeezing into Ren’s thigh, and then his whole body jerked, curling in on itself, his breath ripped out of him with a small cry. 

“I know,” Ren soothed, petting down his spine, “You need me so badly, don’t you? Soren, you need me to take care of you.”

“Yes!”

“You know what’s coming and you’re desperate for it.”

“Yes, Ren, I want it, I want, I want it so bad,” Soren said deliriously, squirming on the blanket.

“You want me, Soren, word choice. You don’t want to be fucked, you want to be fucked by me.”

“Yes! Yes, sorry, you, I want you, I want you, Exalted, I want you, please, please!”

“You want me inside you,” Ren murmured, sliding their palm up under his shirt, feeling how inflamed the skin was there, feeling his skin twitch and shiver beneath their hand. “You want me over you, like this,” they said as they crawled on top, forcing his legs open.

“YES!” Soren cried, arching up, pressing into them with feverish urgency.

“You need me to take care of you,” Ren murmured, arms wrapping tightly around him and pulling him in flush against their body. “I’m the only one who can give you what it is that you’re aching so badly for.”

“Please, please, please, please!” Soren begged, before another spasm cut him off.

“You were trained for this, weren’t you Soren?”

“Yes!” he gasped, panting hard. And they hadn’t even started.

“But did you know? Soren, my Soren, you were born for this.” They tightened a fist in his hair, earning a cute little yelp. “You were made to be my angelic little whore. All your life, destiny has had a plan for you, and it ends with you here, wearing my collar, under me, realizing just how much you need me.”

“I need you!” Soren echoed, head thrown back and collar glinting faintly. 

“That’s right,” Ren purred against his ear, “That’s right, my precious Soren.” They pushed their hips against him slow and heavy and Soren keened. “What you want, what you need, everything, it’s all me, and I’ll give it to you.” Ren pulled their fingers through his hair, gold catching the light. “The only thing you’ll ever need is me.”

The toy beeped three times, charming and cute, almost a little tune of its own, and Ren sat up, loving the way Soren cried out in despair, arms outstretched, his body following after them.

“Good boy, Soren, you were patient, and now it’s time. Get your clothes off,” Ren ordered as they took off their own shirt, and beamed at how Soren’s eyes, out of focus, dragged over their torso before he lept to obey them. He was flushed all over, cockhead leaking, and the moment his clothes were off he was back down in position twenty three, face pressed into a pillow and slender chest heaving with his breath. 

“What a beautiful sight,” Ren murmured, stroking their hands over his skin. They tugged at the dildo teasingly, grinning when Soren gasped and whined, and then they gave it a sharper jerk, which made him cry out.

“You’re so gorgeous, Soren,” Ren said, turning it off and pulling it out slowly, admiring how it was now full sized, admiring how still he managed to keep himself relatively still despite how wound up he was.

“Please, please, please,” Soren begged into the pillow.

“Tell me,” Ren ordered, voice going harder than they’d planned as they flipped him onto his back. “Tell me what you need.”

“You!” Soren cried, digging his heels into the bed and arching up. He was trying, trying so hard, to get to them, and Ren smiled down at him.

“That’s right. Don’t ever forget it.” Ren settled between his legs and he whined, hands desperately grabbing at them, gaze glazed over but eyes on them, only them. “You need me, Soren. I’m the one who can give you what you need.”

They pressed their cock inside him, and it was a perfect fit. “Ah, Soren!” Ren praised, sliding in to the base in a single go. Soren’s whole body locked and shuddered, but he didn’t come, not quite. Not yet. There was something else he needed, something Ren had yet to give him.

“Please please please please please please, Exalted, please, pl-hgk, plea, please, nnnnnn,” Soren begged, his body squirming and pushing up against Ren’s.

“That’s right,” Ren purred. “Beg.”

They fucked him hard. They fucked him deep and breathless and fast, delighted by each needy noise and desperate gasp that tumbled out of him. He started off begging, then devolved into unintelligible babbling, and then devolved into wordless nonsense, utterly lost underneath Ren’s palms and cock.

“I’m going to come in you, angel,” Ren gasped, their own voice coming out wrecked, “And then you’ll have what you need.”

The only response Soren gave was a high keen, but it was enough for Ren. Sure enough, they came shortly after, and as they did they reached down and squeezed his cock with one hand. He clenched around them as he spilled, making the most delicious noise, and Ren knew they’d be playing and replaying that audio clip many, many times.

“Perfect, Soren,” Ren praised, slipping out of him and settling on the bed slowly, oozing down onto it and tugging their precious boy into their embrace. Soren clung to them blearily, unfocused and needy and wanting in the most perfect way. Perfect. Perfect. Finally, Ren was getting everything they deserved, and it was all just the way they wanted. The last two weeks were like a blissful dream, only Ren would never, ever need to wake up, not from this. “You were wonderful, my pet. Are you taken care of?”

“Thhh--” Soren slurred, “Thank you, Ren, thnnnk, oo.”

“Oh baby,” Ren said with a delighted laugh. They kissed his face and pet his hair, smiling fondly at him. “Go ahead and go to sleep now. We’ll have you bathe in the morning.”

“Here?” Soren asked, voice quiet and tremulous.

“Yes, angel, here, sleep in my bed tonight. I’ll keep you warm and taken care of, sweetheart, don’t worry.”

Soren gave them an unfocused, but utterly adoring smile, then slumped, exhausted, and Ren chuckled again. They got him tucked under the sheet and blanket, just accepting that they would need to make Soren do laundry the next day, and curled up around him, pulling out their phone until they, too, were tired enough to sleep.

Next

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love -Part 6

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

A/N: Apologies my read more isnt working! WTF??

Chris had held my hand the entire the time we walked the red carpet, where as usually my arm would casually be linked with his when i attended events with him. When he stopped for photo's he pulled me close, his hand either resting on my hip or the small of my back. The press covering the Charity Event had been all over us as soon as it was apparent that i was now more than just a friend. This news had blown up on social media and gossip columns of course!

"Will you put that down and eat" Chris mumbled as he walked into the kitchen to find me on the ipad again.

"Its been days and their still going on about it! Your fans hate me now by the way!"

"Babe we knew they'd be some hate, just stop looking at it. Remember its not good for the baby if you stress yourself out" he said sitting next to me and pulling the ipad from my hands "no more of that"

"Fine" i rolled my eyes stabbing a piece of fruit and popping it in my mouth"

"It will calm down i promise"

"Yeah eventually, then we're gonna drop the baby bombshell and all hell will break loose again"

"It will be fine, im sure theres plenty of nice things being said. Its just your only looking at the bad"

"Your lucky i love you Evans" i shook my head as i stabbed another piece of fruit, when I looked up Chris was looking at me with a huge cheesy smile "why are you smiling at me like that?"

"You just said you love me" he said smugly, i instantly felt myself start to panic..... shit, was it too soon to admit that??

"Well of course i love you...." i shrugged casually even though my heart was racing "your my best friend...."

"I love you too" he said quickly stopping my nervous ramblings as he leant forward pressing a kiss to my lips. We were soon interrupted by my cell phone ringing "ignore it" he mumbled against my lips making me laugh.

"I cant its probably your mom"

"Way to kill the mood sweetheart"

"Im sorry baby" i reached for my phone and quickly answered before it cut off.

"Hi Lisa"

"Hey sweetie, the girls and me are going to take you out for lunch today"

"You don't have to do that, I'm fine i promise"

"Shanna said she had been texting you and you seemed down so we're taking you out to take your mind off it"

"I don't even have anything to wear, I'm still at Chris's...."

"Well, we'll pick you up at your place at say 13:00? That gives you plenty of time to get home and dressed for lunch"

"Yeah okay, i guess that works"

"Okay, well i'll let you go and i'll see you at 13:00"

"See you then" i ended the call and turned to Chris "i gotta go"

"What, why?"

"Your mom and sisters are taking me to lunch to cheer me up apparently"

"So why do you have to leave now?"

"Because i haven't got anything to wear here, everything i had is dirty and i cant go to lunch in your shirt" i rolled my eyes at him "id better get my stuff together and get home. Their picking me up at 13:00" i gave him a quick kiss and walked out heading to his bedroom to get my things.

After shoving my dirty clothes back into my bag and pulling on my shorts i headed back out to find Chris sitting at the dining table staring out the window.

"You okay?" I asked running my fingers through his hair and placing a kiss to the side of his head. Chris looked up at me nodding with a smile before pulling me into his lap.

"I don't want you to go" he pouted making me chuckle.

"I gotta go baby, you know how difficult it is to tell your mom and sisters no"

"Move in with me" he suddenly said, i thought he was joking but when i leant back to look at him he was obviously being dead serious.

"What??"

"It makes sense that you move in, i mean your here with me more than your at your place anyway. Plus i want you and the baby here with me"

"Your serious aren't you...."

"Of course i am, it feels right when your here"

"Okay...." i nodded with a smile "if your sure thats what you want?"

"Yes!!"

"I still gotta go now though" i laughed before kissing him quickly and jumping up "i love you!" I called as i neared the front door.

"I love you too!".

Lunch was at a little place called 'Lou's' it was a small family run Italian place Chris and I found years ago and absolutely loved. We were seated in back as soon as we arrived and the four of us were soon eating lunch and chatting away.

"I still cant believe you and Chris are finally together" Carly said taking a mouthful of her wine "and... pregnant" she whispered the last part.

"Yeah i know, it came as a bit of a shock to us too but I'm glad it happened. His honestly the best man i know" i said feeling myself blush.

"I think you make a cute couple" Shanna added smiling at me, we'd always gotten along well she was one of my closest friends.

"Thanks Shan, that means alot" i picked up my glass of water and took a sip.

The waitress approached our table offering to top up the wine glasses, as she got to mine i stopped her quickly and just asked for some more water. She looked at me with raised eyebrows, her name was Debra and she was so used to serving Chris and me and me usually drinking too much wine!

"Your not drinking?"

"Jesus Debra, you say that like Ive got a drinking problem" i joke with her "no, I'm just not feeling too great today so avoiding the alcohol"

"Your not pregnant are you!?" She laughed.

"Oh god no! Im fine really"

"Okay just checking" she winked and walked off.

"When are you guys gonna announce the news?" Shanna asked quietly from beside me.

"If i had my way? Never!"

"Sweetheart you'll be fine" Lisa added trying to be supportive, the truth was there was nothing anyone could say that would make me believe it would be okay.

"Im terrified, the things ive read online since that Charity Gala.... i can only imagine what will be said about this"

"We're all here for you both, you can always come to Boston and stay with us if you need a break"

"Thank you Lisa, when do you all head back to Boston?"

"End of the month, we'll come back nearer the time of.... you know" she nodded at my stomach.

"You don't have to do that...."

"I want to, your gonna need family around you"

"Im coming too!" Shanna added taking hold of my hand.

"You guys are the best, I've always thought of you as family.... you know i don't have anything to do with my own family...so I'm grateful for you all"

While we were eating desert i got a message from Chris.

Hey sweetheart, your coming back here tonight right? Xx

"Is that brother of mine texting you already?" Shanna nudged me playfully.

"Yeah" i smiled as i replied to the message.

Hey babe, yeah i'll be back tonight after I've picked up some clean clothes and things xx

You need me to pick you up? Xx

Sure, i'll text you when I'm home. We're just finishing up desert shouldn't be much longer xx

I'll be waiting for your message, i miss you! Xx

Your so needy! :p xx

Miss you too though xx

"I'll be right back, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom" i told the girls before getting up and making my way out back.

Once i was done and was making my way back to our table i was suddenly approached by a guy holding a camera who was constantly snapping photo's of me.

"Excuse me sir you cant be in here doing that!" I heard Lou say loudly and start to lead the guy out, even then he didn't stop snapping photo's. Lisa, Shanna and Carly came rushing over hearing the commotion and got me back to our table hidden in the back.

"You okay hun?" Carly asked sitting me down in my chair.

"Yeah, just wasn't expecting that as soon as i stepped out of the bathroom"

"What an asshole" Shanna muttered making me laugh.

"Y/N I'm so sorry, i didn't see him come in" Lou said as he approached our table.

"Its fine Lou, you can't keep them away all the time" i smiled at him, once he could see we were okay he got back to work.

"Well so much for cheering you up" Lisa scoffed picking her wine glass up and drinking the rest in one gulp.

"You did cheer me up, I've had a lovely afternoon" i said truthfully even though i couldn't wait to get home to Chris.

We settled the bill and got back to the cars, 30 minutes later i was home and packing my bag ready to head to Chris's.

Hey, what the hell happened at lunch? You got papped?? Xx

Yeah, guy just started taking photo's as i came out of the bathroom. It was fine Lou got him out xx

Your sure your okay? Xx

Im fine, come get me? Im Just finishing up packing my things xx

Im leaving now, wont be long xx

While i sat waiting for Chris the notifications on my social media accounts started going crazy! I opened one and saw a photo of me sitting having lunch with Chris's family, the caption stating how things must be getting serious if I'm having lunch with his family. The comments were mostly people saying how i didn't deserve to be with Chris and how much better he could do than me, that i was only with him for the fame and money.... i couldn't stop the tears that ran freely down my face.

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings

@sellulii @patzammit @katiew1973

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[illiterateopossum]

i don't really know what this is but thanks to @brisingr-iettauthr for the tag!!! im not tagging anyone except @manthastop because i don't wanna bug em but you all know who you are, so feel free to do this,,,,,, or not!!!!! no pressure!

are you named after anyone? - nope

when was the last time you cried? - almost last night but probably like two days ago. i cry a lot, sue me

do you have any kids? - i have friends that make jokes about my dad-ness but nope, just my pets

do you use sarcasm a lot? - not as much as i used to because it can come across as mean sometimes, but i do use it

what's the first thing you notice about someone? - probably outfit? face wise idk probably makeup if they're wearing it, or piercings. when it's not about looks, then the way they talk to people. cause ive met some pretty rude people at uni and you can always tell by how they address everyone else

what's your eye colour? - simply just v light blue. its the one thing i like about my appearance even tho it's p boring and common

scary movie or happy ending? - oooooo i l o v e a good scary movie (scary stories to tell in the dark is a good one if you haven't seen it yet) but overall id have to say a happy ending

special talents? - i wouldn't say i really have any? i can write pretty well apparently tho so ig that (my ao3 is schreibenzi, not to shamelessly plug it or anything lmao)

where were you born? - hull in england, live just outside of it in a small village now, (and huddersfield for uni lmao) but go back very regularly

what are your hobbies? - is it bad my first thought was video games and mobile games n stuff? i really miss dragon age inquisition rn so that'll be why. writing too of course, and sometimes digital art cause even tho i can't really draw all that well, im good at the painting bit

do you have any pets? - yup! a big ol poodle called pepe, he's huge and silly and i would die for him, and a chubby* cat called smokie who i would also die for even though he prefers grass to me. oh and two tortoises that live in my great grans room

*it's just fur, don't worry hes nice and healthy! just got a lot of fluff

what sports do you/have you played? - i mean ive played plenty of sports in highschool (hockey, baseball, netball, basketball, etc. rugby was the personal fave cause i wasn't too bad) but since then nothing ://// i don't feel comfortable with them lmao

how tall are you? - somewhere between 5'4 and 5'5. i both hate it and love it

favourite subject in school? - gcse was history for definite, idk what it was before then probably german or english, but i absolutely loved history and was really fucking good at it. a level at the time was sociology cause i was, once again, really good at it (even tho i seemingly bombed my exams which makes no sense. should have sent them to be remarked lmao) but looking back probably classical civilisations as a subject because it was a mix of history and english lit, two things i still love, even now as im doing a degree in a hhs subject

dream job? - i want to help people. i will say the same thing every time. i don't care what my job is so long as at the end of it, i can look back and see people thriving and know that i used whatever means i could to get them there. people who are doing no wrong don't deserve to be treated as though they are, just for existing.

well. that was a lot for only a few questions. im used to doing these things on my sideblog, but that's p much dead so hello guess im using this one more now.

[anxiously-unsatisfied-world]

The Heart’s Home - Chapter 6

A/n: So here’s another update after forever (seriously it’s been like four months since I’ve updated this :P) The boys are still shopping but they’re moving onto clothes shopping next! (feel free to recommend cute outfits for me to include next chapter ^^)

Warnings: None - lemme know if you need something tagged!

Word Count: 1,278 words

Main Four Sides / Other Characters

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |  Chapter 7 |  Chapter 8

The next aisle is filled with cute figurines and other decorations of all kinds. Patton instantly gravitates to the figurines and picks out a few cute animal ones. Patton giggles at the sight of all the cute decorations in the cart and that they’re all for him.

An area filled with wall clocks distracts him and he wanders over to it, making sure that his dads know where he’s at. “Hmm…” Patton hums softly as he scans the different clocks.

Normally, he’d choose the pastel blue one with the light pink polka dots as it’s the closest to his own style. But this one designed to resemble the sun… It’s calling to him.

“Did you pick one?” Logan asks, setting a hand on his shoulder gently. Patton looks up at him and nods, pointing at the yellow clock with a soft smile. “That’s a nice choice.” Logan praises, taking a box with that picture on it. “It suits you.”

Patton giggles and follows behind Logan as he puts it in the cart. Roman smiles when he sees the clock, “That just gives me so many ideas! You said you wanted your room painted, correct?” Roman asks as they move on to the bedsheet area, turning and meeting Patton’s eyes.

“Yup!” Patton says with a definitive nod, eyes going wide at the sheer selection of different colors and patterns of bedsheets available.

“Well, I’m thinking that we do the ceiling the way that mine and Lo’s is and then you could have a feature wall? Or the whole room, it’s your choice! But how about a sky with clouds and everything?” Roman asks, clasping his hands together and looking expectantly at Patton.

“Ooh! That sounds amazing!” Patton says, a wide grin on his face. “Can we do the full room? And maybe put a rainbow or something as well?” Patton asks, watching as Roman’s face lights up.

“That sounds super! So, we’ll get the paints soon and get working sometime within the next few weeks, alright?” Roman asks and Patton nods, the both of them grinning at the thought of the design, Logan watching both of them fondly.

Patton then turns to the bedsheets, looking at all of them with awe. It’s going to be hard to pick his favorites…

“Patton?” Logan says softly, gaining the boy’s attention, “You can pick five for now and we can always come back.” Logan smiles as Patton brightens at this and starts choosing his five favorites.

To no one’s surprise, there is one patterned with puppies and kittens and one that’s light blue in the mix. The other three are various patterns in different pastel colors, all of it suiting Patton immensely.

“Okay, is that it?” Logan asks, looking at their full cart, “Is there anything we’re missing?” He meets eyes with Roman, who shakes his head, both of them looking at Patton.

“I don’t think so! Maybe we could get some posters later but otherwise, we’re good!” Patton grins at them and Logan nods, all three of them heading to the checkout.

Once everything has been paid for and loaded into the car, Logan and Roman turn to Patton. “So, where next, darling?” Roman asks, idly spinning the keys around his finger.

Patton puts a hand to his chin as he thinks of the next place to go but can’t really come up with anything. “I think we’re good for now unless we wanna get more clothes for me…” Patton says softly.

Roman’s eyes light up at the possibilities and he looks at Logan, who thinks back to how all of Patton’s clothes fit in one suitcase. “Alright. That’s a good idea.” Logan says and Roman cheers, getting into the car in his excitement, leaving Logan and Patton to share a fond look, Patton giggling at how Roman seems more energetic about this than he is.

Both Logan and Patton get into the car and Roman drives over to the mall, smiling when Patton tries to sing along to the music he’s playing. When it’s clear that Patton’s difficulties with the music are from him not knowing it very well, Roman turns to Logan, “Switch this to one of my Disney playlists, would you?”

Logan nods and does so, both of them smiling when Patton’s able to sing along much more easily now, sounding very good for a ten-year-old with likely no proper music training.

“You sound magnificent, Patton!” Roman says after he’s finished with one song. Patton’s eyes brighten and he giggles at the compliment.

“Thanks, Ro!” Roman smiles at just how happy he sounds from the compliment.

“How long have you been singing?” Logan asks, curious since he has a decent amount of vocal control for a ten-year-old.

“Uhh, a long time?” Patton asks with a soft laugh, “I’ve been singing almost as long as I’ve been able to talk!”

“Well, you sound very talented.” Logan says, “Have you ever considered being in choir?”

“Yeah! That’d be fun!” Patton says with a grin. “I could make so many friends there!”

“Right you are!” Roman agrees, smiling softly at how sweet this boy is. “I always loved choir when I was younger.”

Patton giggles with excitement at the possibility of someday soon joining a choir, his mind racing as he considers what kind of songs he could learn there.

The rest of the drive to the mall is filled with Roman and Patton singing along to the music, Logan just listening with a smile on his face. Though at one instance, Roman lightly nudges him when I See the Light starts playing, glancing at him with a pleading expression.

Logan rolls his eyes but nods, fondly smiling when Roman softly cheers before singing Rapunzel’s part. Patton tilts his head, his eyes wide with anticipation as he knows this song and what’s about to happen.

When Eugene’s lines start, Logan sings along with them, relishing in just how happy it makes his husband. Patton gasps softly at how smooth Logan’s voice is, unable to keep from smiling at it, especially when it’s time for them to harmonize together.

The second the song ends, Patton is clapping and cheering. “That was amazing. Logan, your voice!” Patton claps even more and Logan smiles.

“Thank you, Patton,” Logan says, happy that he’s impressed Patton like this. Though, he can’t help but imagine what Patton’s reaction to him playing the piano would be…

Roman’s the first out of the car when they arrive at the mall, excited to show off his fashion expertise. Logan chuckles softly as he makes sure Patton’s door is unlocked, both of them getting out and following behind Roman as they head into the mall.

While Patton is holding Logan’s hand and sticking close to him, Roman’s off several paces ahead, deciding which store he wants to take Patton into. Eventually, he gets too far away and Logan huffs softly.

“Roman, get back here!” Logan calls out just loud enough to get Roman’s attention but not to disturb the other shoppers, though he does cause a few to look over.

Roman smiles sheepishly as he heads towards them. “Sorry about that. I’m just excited to help our little sunspot pick out some clothes!”

Logan smiles, his eyes flickering with amusement. “I know. But try not to leave us behind. We have plenty of time, there is no need to rush around.”

Roman nods and reaches out, taking Logan’s other hand and entwining their fingers. “I did see a store I’m interested in though. So shall we?”

Logan nods while Patton agrees excitedly, swinging his and Logan’s linked hands in his excitement. Roman smiles and they head down and enter the store.

General Taglist:  @anuninspiredpoet, @echomist13, @theresneverenoughfandoms @fiive-second-cookies @sevencrashing, @virgil-is-verge

The Heart’s Home Taglist:  @a-lexicon-of-words , @scorching-scotch , @bunny222 , @but-jesuschrist-im-never-good, @anuninspiredpoet, @echomist13, @ab-artist, @ashlynrivers, @fairytailtwists

[fuxkingmarvel]

My Fake Boyfriend Series Part 4

Summary: Being Tony Stark’s 21 year old daughter, the last thing he would ever want is you to be in a relationship with one of the avengers double your age. Y/N and Bucky have been in an secret relationship for over a year and only Y/N’s best friend, Peter Parker, knows. When Tony becomes curious, she asks Peter for help.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Peter x reader (platonically)

Warning: Peter Parker and the reader are 21 years old

 Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Bucky waited patiently leaning against the brick wall of the tower to hear the wrath of Tony Stark. After hiding a secret for such a long time, he wasn't expecting Tony to let him off so easily. He knew there would be repercussions as he stared at him. Tony, on the other hand, was feeling emotionless. After talking with you, he knew Bucky was special to you. Hurting Bucky physically was not the best option at the moment. So, he refrained himself from letting a wild punch to Bucky’s face get loose.

“Do you love her?” Tony questioned raising an eyebrow and eyeing down Bucky.

Bucky quickly responded without even thinking. “Of course I do. I love Y/N. She's my world. I would do anything for her. To protect her, make her happy. Anything. I will be there.” Bucky said in voice soft with affection. Tony nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair. 

He sighed before speaking again. “You listen to me. Y/N is all I have.” Tony stated stepping closer to Barnes. 

“If you hurt her, your little friends Steve & Sam won't be able to help you. You understand that? Because I will kill you” Bucky nodded agreeably. His eyes not leaving Tony’s. 

“I won't” and Bucky was right. The past year of dating Bucky felt like pure heaven. There was not one time where he had let you down. If the two of you ever had disagreed, you would quickly try to work things out before things would get out of hand. Bucky was the kindest and sweetest with you.

Tony made a gesture towards the door behind Bucky. “Well... She's waiting. And She probably thinks I've killed you by now. So, get going” Bucky chuckled lightly and turned around to head towards the door. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Um, Barnes.” Bucky quickly turned around to face Tony once again.

 “Just because you're a super solider doesn't mean you can't create a little one. Use. Protection.” Bucky’s eyes widened in horry and nodded shyly turning back around. The last thing he would ever want is his girlfriend’s father to lecture him about condom usage. 

You could hear the footsteps of Bucky and then his shadow finally came into view. Your face immediately dropped into worry because it looked like he had seen a ghost. You ran up to him and lightly pressed you hands onto his cheeks. 

“Bucky, whats wrong? Did my father hurt you?” you said in a small panicky voice. Bucky’s eyes looked into yours and a smile creeped onto his face. Followed by a small chuckle and a disapproval nod. 

“Your father...” Bucky stopped again and threw his head back. He couldn't help but laugh. You were now confused as you looked at your boyfriend who was out of breath from laughing so hard. 

“Bucky.” You said loudly grabbing onto his arms. “I'm not understanding...” you let out a pout and Bucky smiled. 

“Doll, he just wants us to use protection.” You now had a disgusted face at Bucky’s words and you could hear him start to chuckle once again. Your father discussing your sex life with your boyfriend was way more embarrassing than him giving Bucky a quick punch to the face.

 “Im sorry you had to go through that.” You giggled throwing your arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky swiftly picked you up by wrapping his arms around your waist and placing you on his shoulders. “Bucky, put me down!” you requested playfully hitting his back and giggling. 

“Nope” Bucky said emphasizing the “P” as he raced up the stairs with you to your floor. 

"We're going to celebrate" Bucky insisted letting you down as he reached his bedroom door.

"Celebrating huh? Minutes after talking to my father. Someone's feeling adventurous" You teased as you purposely swayed your hips towards his bedroom. You could hear Bucky groan at your actions behind you.

"Let's just say, he encouraged this" Bucky smirked kicking off his shoes and taking off his shirt.

"Alright enough talking about him. I'm trying to get in the mood" You giggled gawking at Bucky’s abs and he apologized softly.

"Doll, you're wearing too many clothes" Bucky protested. He lifted his eyebrows as you started to lay comfotably on his bed.

You started to play with the bottom of your shirt. "Then, why don't you come over here and help me out."Bucky smirked at your words crawling onto the bed.

*The Next Morning*

"So I'm guessing last night's talk with your father went well" Parker asked as you took a bite out of your pancake. You, Bucky, Scarlet, Sam, Steve, Nat and Peter were sat at the breakfast table. You were in between Bucky and Peter. Everyone was having their own little conversations. You nodded agreeably and smiled back at Peter. "It was perfect." Peter laughed and rolled his eyes.

"I know dummy, I think the whole floor could hear your celebration" Parker said a little too loudly at the last word. Bucky now turned his head towards the two of you and you could feel your face turning red. The secret was out.

"Oh, don't worry we heard it too." Sam announced taking a sip of his orange juice while Steve gave Bucky a nudge with his elbow. You embarrassingly placed your hands in your face. Bucky scooted over his chair and carefully took your hands off your face. His smile was wide and you thought you would faint right there. He looked like the happiest man on earth.

"No more hiding. Doll, everyone knows you're mine." Bucky whispered and leaned in to kiss you on the lips. You could hear Parker making disgusted sounds as Sam whistled and the girls awing.

"Just because I know that the two of you are dating doesn't mean I want to see this crap every time I wake up." You heard the voice of your father and quickly let go of Bucky.

"Good morning to you too dad" you groaned with a face full of embarrassment. Bucky cleared his throat

"Good morning, Uh, Mr. Stark" Bucky chimed in smiling shyly. You took one last bite out of your pancake before grabbing Bucky's flesh hand and excusing yourselves from the table. You could hear that your father was about to say something because he got up from his chair while watching the two of you run away. But you stopped him.

"Protection. We know. And we use plenty of it!" You yelled back not wanting to see the rest of the team's reactions. You laughed as Bucky pulled you into him closer.

tags: @lucacangettathisass , @janeschwartz1 , @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @stevieboyharrington , @theshekinahb , @shrekssunflowers , @settlebackeasy , @averystrainingwheels , @vogueworthy-barnes , @fireflyloki21, @intoxicatingloki , @peach-barnes , @impalatobakerstreet

@serenity-schuyler , @the-nargles-made-me-do-it , @caticorndancingonpainbows

[ask-svt-hearteu]

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge. 

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can.  I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan:  aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians  wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^

[dustingrayves]

appetency

Pairing: elsain [RSEE] Rating: K WC: 1983   AU: popstar EE/pyrotechnician RS Category: P I N I NG Notes: im sorry theyre gay and suffering,,, but theyre gay,,,,,,

Erblu's sigh is relief incarnated.

He shucks his gloves off and his jacket follows, only ending on a hanger because he's standing next to it.

The few technicians left backstage laugh; they all know Erblu gets like this after a show. Then again, who could blame him? Singing and dancing in the high-powered lights, with the addition of his eccentric costumes and the stage effects, must be pretty tiring in itself. Not to mention the boy had performed two encores and had a signing right after that.

"Good work today, everyone!"

And yet, he still has it in him to give them that dazzling smile, all too wide and innocent.

Some people say it back, patting him on the back as they pack up, but the star makes his way back to the main arena, straight to the technician tinkering with something at the base of the walkway. Erblu kneels down to the redheaded boy, watching him take components out of brightly colored boxes to throw into the trash.

"Those green flame pillars," he says, "Those were new. I loved them!"

The boy — his tag reads Rune, with a cute little flames drawn around the name. He knows, because he drew them there himself — looks up with a twinkle in his eyes that's a firework in itself. He smiles, and it creates dimples on his cheeks.

"You noticed!" he exclaims, sounding surprised that the singer did. "I found a cool fireworks company and their stuff is fucking great! All of that? One hundred percent real. I had to spend two hours finding a loophole in the rules so I could use it, but it paid off! You looked so great today!"

Erblu's glad that he still has a flush from before, because otherwise Rune's words would make one appear on his cheeks and he's have to explain it.

"Thanks! It's all thanks to you guys!"

Rune is just about done with… whatever it is he's doing when the head of security, a tall, dark-skinned man with a prosthetic scary enough to fend off most people by itself (his name is Ref and he's actually one of the nicest people on the team, if they're being honest) comes to them, a pair of girls in his tow.

"These ladies insisted on seeing you, Erblu," Ref tells them, folding his arms. His expression tells them they'd somehow managed to sneak past the security and threatened to sue them if they couldn't get to their idol.

"It's all right, thank you, Ref. Now, what would these beautiful ladies want?"

Ref shakes his head at Erblu and shifts on the balls of his heels. "Nope, I'm staying right here," he says.

Rune's expression shifts into a scowl and he also straightens out, taking the box of trash into his arms. "Good idea," he mutters darkly.

The incident when a fan went so far as to try and cut off one of Erblu's fingers is still fresh in all their minds. Only thanks to Ref and Roy, who managed to detain him, did Erblu escape unscathed.

The girls giggle, one pushing the other forward. The girl, short and barely reaching Erblu's shoulders, has a cute blonde braid, shifting whenever she shuffles, and she shuffles a lot. From behind her back, she presents a heart-shaped, pink box of chocolate, holding it out for Erblu.

"I-I've fallen in love with you!" the girl exclaims, squeezing her eyes closed in embarrassment. "P-Please go out with me!"

Erblu offers her a soft smile, brows drawn together. "I'm sorry, I can't accept. I don't even know you… Plus, there's already someone I like."

It's more than obvious Erblu i being nice to the girl, but even so she erupts in tears, sobs tearing out of her throat. He friend and Ref have to escort her out, box of chocolates left fallen  to the ground only to be picked up by Erblu.

"I feel a bit bad," he confesses, running his fingers over the box softly, "But they'd be all disappointed. I mean, they fall in love with an idol, someone who's always perfect, but that's not… me."

"Hm, I think you're plenty cool off stage too," Rune mutters, carrying the box to the back entrance where he throws it to the garbage bin. Erblu follows him,  having nothing better to do just yet.

"Did you really mean that, Mochi?" Rune asks out of nowhere, when he seems done with his job and sitting on a bench covered by costumes.

Erblu, sitting next to him and playing with a bottle of ice tea, looks at him, blinking in confusion. "Mean what?"

"That you like someone. Who is it? Tell me, come on!"

Erblu snorts, looking away and taking a sip of the tea. "Right, so you can make fun of me. I'm not telling you."

"I won't make fun of you! Come on, tell me!" Rune pouts, sticking his bottom lip out. Erblu doesn't even have to look to know.

"I'm not gonna tell you," Erblu repeats, recapping the bottle and setting it down to stretch. His back makes a satisfying sound in agreement.

"But you do like someone then, Mochi," Rune deduces, and all Erblu can do is sigh as he picks up the pink box of chocolates.

He opens it and angles it towards the redhead. "You want a chocolate? It'd be a shame if they went to waste."

Sighing as well, Rune reaches to grab one. They're good, with a whole nut inside accompanied by nougat. Though he can't savor it fully, because his insides are squeezing tightly and even swallowing the half-melted piece of choco is tough.

Erblu likes someone. Well, of course he would, he knows so many talented performers, after all.

Rune never had a chance to begin with.

Ref brings a whole armful of  heart-shaped candy and letters. Rune spies a plethora of love letters and also cute plushies, no bigger than keychain-sized. He feels a pang in his chest as Ref dumps them unceremoniously onto the already cluttered backstage table, along with a huff.

Ref doesn't like being a busboy for the gifts, but he does it anyway.

The way Mochi beams up and practically skips to the pile with glee also does things to Rune's chest, and he hates it. Hates how happy it makes Mochi when he's showered in compliments and love and gifts. Hates how angry it makes him at himself, because shouldn't he be happy?

'You're jealous,' he thinks, and then immediately shuns his inner voice. It may be right, but he doesn't want to admit it. Why would he be jealous anyway?

He wants Mochi to smile like that at him, be so gleeful when Rune is the one who gets him something.

Erblu picks up a box of candy and turns to him with that dazzling smile. "Good job today, everyone! Anyone want some candies?"

And doesn't Mochi already do that? He smiles at Rune like the shining star he is. He is so excited whenever Rune alters the visuals without telling him beforehand. Shouldn't he be happy with just that? Shouldn't he be happy when Mochi comes bounding to him and envelops him in a hug, exclaiming, "You made the fires so good tonight as well! It was amazing!" and then shoving the yellow pack of candies almost right up in his face?

He takes one of the chewy candies and pops it into his mouth, if only to see Mochi's smile widening even further. He looks like he's still on stage, with the bright light shining on him and making him seem like he's glowing.

The tugging at Rune's chest worsens, but in a different sense. It isn't particularly painful anymore, instead it feels warm. He wants to keep looking at Mochi like this, but the taller man turns away to offer the candies to the rest of the crew.

Rune stands there for a moment longer, as if rooted to the spot, looking at the singer's cheerful demeanor with a pounding heart and sweet taste clinging to the inside of his mouth. The box of his used fireworks is still in his frozen hands.

Mochi is always so nice — it's not surprising that so many people love him. And then there's him; a short pyrotechnician with nothing going for him aside from his proficiency with fire.

He puts the box away and gets around to continuing cleaning up after the performance. He'd used so many fireworks tonight, after all.

There's a tightness to his chest, a breathlessness that'll take a while to go away, he knows, but he still can't help his smile, or the way he almost runs to the backstage room.

The sounds of the fans leaving the arena get gradually quieter and quieter, until it's just the crew running around and ridding the place of their presence. They've been here an hour longer than planned already, all because he couldn't say no to the fans' pleas for an encore.

The usual bunch is already in the room, running around the wooden panels and various prop stands with mastery like no others. Rune has a stack of boxes with the used up fireworks ready to go into the trash.

As usual, the fire show was a spectacle — for the audience as much as for him. Even after all the shows they'd worked on together, Rune can still surprise him with all the creative ways he can handle the colorful fireworks.

He's long since gotten used to the feeling of fire going off right next to him, but there is always something exhilarating about it, when a pop of color goes off when he doesn't expect it.

But he trusts Rune, and somewhere down the road he'd even asked the redhead not to tell him what he's planning for the next show. Rune always knows the schedule and choreography, so Erblu is never scared of the fireworks going off too close for comfort for the others. And it always pays off - the show is always amazing, and Erblu is so happy that his fans get what they pay for.

"Rune!" Erblu exclaims, his voice going higher than it does when he sings. For some reason it always surprises people, how easily he switches between voices after shows. He envelops the boy in his arms and squeezes, like their usual routine. Rune is warm and doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Erblu as well, much to the chagrin of the singer's already pounding heart. "Great job! I loved the green lights at the end!"

That floaty feeling of breathlessness fills him up to the brim and he smiles at the shorter boy. He's sure his own face is flushed red from exertion, but when he sees Rune's going red at the praise as well, he feels unrealistically happy.

"Thank you," Rune mumbles, looking away from the silver haired man. "You did great tonight as well! Everyone was blown away!"

"That's all your work! I just sang and did some dance moves," Mochi says, like that isn't why all the people come to the concert or. Like that isn't all a concert is.

Rune has known Mochi long enough to know he really means it, that he really thinks it's all the crew's work and he's just there for the looks.

But Rune knows the charm Mochi has on people, knows he can get them all to cheer with just one wave of a hand. And he has to admit he's right there with the crowd, staring so intently he forgets his cues a few times too many. But he can't help it; he loves seeing Mochi on stage, covered in blinding light that seems to accentuate all his good features — which is all of them, honestly.

He doesn't say anything and lets the star help him move the boxes to the trash.

[feelsgood-anon]

Tagged By: @victuuri-on-ice-is-gay

She tagged me so I don’t want to be a spud about it. Aye~

A (Age): 31

B (Biggest Fear): Walking into a room filled with Cockroaches. *shudders*

C (Current Time): 7:14PM

D (Drink You Last Had): Monster Energy Drink. 

E (Easiest Person/s to Talk to): Myself.  There are rarely arguments.

F (Favorite Song): I can’t pick one. I listen to so much I don’t even know where to start.

G (Grossest Moment): I don’t do too many gross things.  now inappropriate things...is a different story...

H (Horror Yes, Horror No): Eh. I don’t get scared easily, but I do enjoy watching Horror movies for the comedic relief.

I (In Love With): a stripper. 

J (Jealous of): Nothing, really.  I appreciate everything that is in my life.

K (Killed someone): If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

L (Love at First Sight): Lust at first sight.  Love is far too intricate to claim so wildly.

M (Middle Name): good.

N (Number of Siblings): 1

O (One Wish): To win the lottery.

P (Person You Last Called): My boss.  damnit, Steven.

Q (Question You’ve Always Been Asked): “But...why?”

R (Reasons to Smile): Video games.

S (Song You Last Sang): Over the Rainbow - Cosmic Gate

T (Time You Wake Up): it varies.  If I have to work, around 7-8am.  If I don’t have work...1-2pm.  I’m not a day person.

U (Unlucky Moment): If I thought about all the unlucky moments in my life, I’d give myself a coronary.

V (Vacation Destination): Let me go back to Puerto Rico.  Pls.

W (Worst Habit): Procrastinating. In fact...im putting off plenty of things right now....

X (X-rays I’ve had): A lot of my back.  welp.  RIP me and my bad back.

Y (Your Favorite Food): I don’t really like food in general.  It’s just a necessary thing I have to be conscious of throughout the day.

Z (Zodiac): Aquarius.

Tagging: EVERYONE. IN THE WORLD. I’m looking at you, trump.

[elecmon]

ABC get to know me!Tagged by @thelightinsideishope​ Rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people. A. Age: 22

B. Biggest fear: looking down from super tall places, and loud sudden noises

C. Current time: Tuesday, 2/14/17, 2:36 AM

D. Drink you last had: Water

E. Every day starts with: sighing because what in the world is a day off

F. Favorite song: goddamn im honestly drawing a blank, theee, entire horse comanche album bc goddamn i adore chadwick stokes

G. Heck yea man

H. Hometown: if you live in southern california there’s plenty of jokes about it

J. Jealous of: currently not feeling much jealousy? I can dig the way things are going. might not be ideal but eh its there

K. Kill(ed) someone: why this a question, who would unironically answer yes

L. Last time I cried: I cried out of pain when I fell off the steps and twisted my ankle and still had to drive/go to work. Otherwise last time I can remember is visiting the doctor back in december who kept insisting I get medication for depression, to which I declined bc it’d have to go through mi madres insurance and ive been smacked for crying before i aint ready to dive into what’d be up if she learned This shitty aspect. Left the appointment feeling like even more garbage but OH WELL i guess

M. Middle name: Mayeli

N. Number of siblings: one not so little anymore brother

O. One wish: quickly drop 5 pants sizes i guess??? None much

P. Person you last called/texted: call-work, text, groupchat telling them of a new cheap store opening up lol

Q. Questions you’re always asked: *When working* “So hows school?” *When taking classes* “So hows work?” *when doing both* “Why don’t you go to a better school or get a better job?”

R. Reasons to smile: good question??? Appmon is still getting new episodes, I’m living through a new digimon era and its really nice :)

S. Song last sang: the second song from robin hood thats all 

“Robin Hood and Little John, walking through the forest Laughing back and forth at what the other one has to say Reminiscing this and that and having such a good time Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day”

(they play disney music all the time at work and I love it)

T. Time you woke up: 11:35??? I think???????? All these late night shifts man

U. Underwear colour: cant remember like grey??? tan???? 

V. Vacation destination: I wanna see the Odaiba Locations, or bc petey is a huge enabler(I KID) I wanna go visit the moomin land park lmao(I'd also love to organize a dgm friends disney day gfdi fun)/p>

W. Worst habit: Not looking at people when I’m talking to them, sometimes accidentally twitching when I’m forcing myself to stay focused and look at them.

X. X-rays you’ve had: none that I know of???

Y. Your favorite food: chicken of almost any kind lol

Z. Zodiac sign: scorpio, oH OH ITS VALENTINES DAY, HAPPY CONCEPTION DAY ME!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[jasonvtodd]

tagged by @boydbaeulieu (alice is angel send her love)

So if tagged, answer the original questions and either add (or delete if you’d like) to the list of questions, then tag more people!

Which book are you reading right now? cut and run by abigail roux and madeleine urban (i’m so close to the end and whoever the anon was who rec’d it to me... PLEASE COME BACK TO ME CAUSE I DONT KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS READ IT AND IM HAVING  F E E L I N G S)

What’s the best beverage when reading? TEA, always (leaving alice’s answer here cause heck yes)

What’s your favourite book quote? no no thank you. i don’t want to do this. i have so many what the heck, trc’s dream me the world or tfc’s hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing or lastly Plenty of humans were monstrous, and plenty of monsters knew how to play at being human. from Vicious (honestly i have so many these were just the first ones that came to mind)

Are you looking forward to a certain book release? If yes, which one? A Conjuring of Light (Shades of Magic, #3) so keen so keen SO kEEn oh wow umm Our Dark Duet (Monsters of Verity #2), King's Cage (Red Queen, #3) and there’s a few others but idk if they’re defiantly getting released this year or anytime soon

What’s your Hogwarts house? i think hufflepuff but i geniuenly can’t remember???

If you could get on a plane right now, where would you go? (And yes, fictional places are good as well. You could also travel via wardrobe/ train/ etc.) ANY OF THE FOUR LONDONS FROM SHADES OF MAGIC SERIES and if lila wants to take me on a tour with her i wouldn't say no (and if we swing by Texas first that’d be OK too)

What’s your favourite holiday read? something i’ve been waiting for to arrive after i just ordered it

When do you put your Christmas decorations up? not really a big christmas person so whoops this was the first year i didnt put any up shrug.emoji

Spell your name using book titles!

Evanfall

Milk and Honey

I'll Give You the Sun

Looking for Alaska 

You Against Me

Would you like Booklr to do something for Christmas/ New year? christmas happens to be over now whoops but i do always love their lists ♥

Are there any books you want to recommend to the rest of us? icos icos always icos but other ones i guess could include; timekeeper (it only came out early november and i need there to be a fandom already), vicious and shades of magic series by v.e schwab... basically just ya’ll should just go through here

What books do you want for the holidays? i got the books i wanted for the holidays ♥ (leaving alice’s answer again cause true true)

What is your favorite nonfiction subject to read? i honestly don’t read enough nonfiction to have a favourite subject

What types of book covers do you find most aesthetically pleasing? see: soc hardbacks

Favorite book you’ve read this year? okay so i’m going to go from my 2016 reads and oh fuck as if i can just pick one?? icosicosICOS timekeeper was a good way to end 2016 also crooked kingdom and the raven king.... plus all of the foxhole court ofc and... look ican’t just pick one okay literally i read so many goddamn good books last year shit

If you set yearly goals for yourself, how many books would you like to read in 2017? i want to say 100 cause that was my goal last year and i got to 50 which was half so i mean... h o p e fulllyy this year i may just reach it :) 

Do you eat anything while reading?If so, whats your fave reading snack? i don’t really like reading and eatting. it bugs me. 

Who are your auto-buy authors? v.e schwab, leigh bardugo and nora sakavic if she ever did more work (there’s a few more but ya these are the first one who come to mind)

Who is your favorite literary character, and why? ok like im trying real hard not to write tony stark or jason todd here cause i know they’re a comic character but whatever fight me otherwiiisee... hsin liu vega and ronan lynch who can and would kick your ass but have each had their traumas but still find it within themselves to find love and happiness with the one they love and would do anything to protect the ones they call family or friends

this was really fun to do ahh thank you lovely :) annd i guess i’ll tag;

@bcydbeaulieu @vintersins @czrenys @hsincerely @nickyklose @ohvaltersen @jeremoreau @petalloso

[jamathon]

Ask me! I'll answer honestly

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? lit 7′0″ 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) cat 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? met gala type fancy for sure.  4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Just dance 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day? My gf, boulder, art, 

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? "pwease no steppy” 7: What is your opinion on life? V weird. v cool 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] I tihnkkkk it was melancholic but i shud take it again bc it’s def changed  9: Are you ticklish? very 10: Are you allergic to anything? not that i know yet 11: What’s your sexuality? gay bi gay bi gay bi.  12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Tea 13: Are you a cat or dog person? cat 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? whichever one is least lonely. probably merperson. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Alex bertie!! 16: How tall are you? 5′4 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Kiwi 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] likeee 125 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? pass. 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Ocean.  21: Are you religious? No 22: Pet peeves? A . Lot. im so impatient.  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal! 24: Favorite constellation? uhhhh *panics and looks around kitchen* the big spoon 25: Favorite star? North bc i used to see it every night after work and i didn’t know it alr had a name so i named it after my gf as a romantic gesture hahhahaha 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? Yuh 27: Any phobias or fears? Afraid of loneliness  28: Do you think global warming is real? shut up.  29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Havent thought about it 30: Favorite movie? Scott pilgrim 31: Do you get scared easily? Yes 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 1 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] my blogs a 10 even tho i still have the OG tumblr theme 34: What is a color that calms you? blue 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Iceland 36: Where were you born? baltimore 37: What is your eye color? hazel 38: Introvert or extrovert? both 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? hahahhaha yesss 40: Hugs or kisses? bofa 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Would love to visit boulder i miss the mountains & weather a lot 42: Who is someone you love deeply? Rayven 43: Any piercings you want? septum tbh 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yes. v hot 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? not anymore 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Rayven is my crush and also my gf she’s about to turn 21 which is exciting!! this feels like show n tell haha 47: What is a sound you really hate? fingernail scratching jeans 48: A sound you really love? keys jingling 49: Can you do a backflip? no 50: Can you do the splits?  no 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? emma stone  52: Favorite movie?alr asked. scotty P. 53: How are you feeling right now? fine but restless bc of a tummy ache 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? back to black acctuallly im tired of dying it  55: When did you feel happiest? idk 56: Something that calms you down? tumblr 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] havent had an evaluation in years so idk! 58: What does your URL mean? that’s my JAMATHON!!! To describe a good song. A word i tried to make happen. like fetch. except not original, just “jam” with “athon” added.  59: What three words describe you the most? Understanding. Funny. Intense.  60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? If they dont post enuf memes 62: What makes you follow a blog? Memes 63: Favorite kind of person: Funny, outgoing, spontaneous  64: Favorite animal(s): Whales 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. eh idk 66: Favorite emoticon: the drooling one 67: Favorite meme: too many 68: What is your MBTI personality type? intp idk if that’s right 69: What is your star sign? capricorn  70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? i like layers. probably my leather jacket w black pants and a my yellow shirt. it makes me feel cute 72: Post a selfie or two? too hard 73: Do you have platform shoes? yes 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I used to be double jointed and could bend my finger back to touch my hand, unsure what happened but now i have 0 party tricks 75: Can you do a front flip? yeah probably 76: Do you like birds? So much!!!!!! 77: Do you like to swim? no!!!!!! 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? swimming... 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: pollution 80: Some thing you wish did exist: cures 81: Piercings you have? ears 82: Something you really enjoy doing: playing music/drawing/taking pictures 83: Favorite person to talk to: rayven 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? cupcakes 85: How many followers do you have? like 100 on this blog now hahaha 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? yes but will I? No. 87: Do your socks always match? No 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? No 89: What are your birthstones? Turquoise  90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Fox 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? I want to be creative but when i think about it...a red rose.  92: A store you hate? The grocery store bc im there all the time 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? zero now but at the beginning of the year i was drinking around 4-5 a day.  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly 95: Do you like to wear camo? nah 96: Winter or summer? Used to be winter but nothing is good in the south. 97: How long can you hold your breath for? not long at all it gives me anxiety 98: Least favorite person? some of the people ive met in the past year have been atrocious.  99: Someone you look up to: My roommate Chris.  100: A store you love? I could spend all day in H&M  101: Favorite type of shoes? vans 102: Where do you live? ....atlanta 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Yes bc my girlfriend is and we always share food so like... i guess i eat meat on my own but that’s liike once a month haha 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? hmmm...bismuth. 105: Do you drink milk? No 106: Do you like bugs? Not in the south. 107: Do you like spiders? NO. 108: Something you get paranoid about? Bugs. 109: Can you draw: NO. 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? people love prying idk at this point 111: A question you hate being asked? are u a boy or a girl has definitely gotten old 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? yes 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yesssssss 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? depends 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my gf 116: Favorite cloud type: rain cloud 117: What color do you wish the sky was? orange.  118: Do you have freckles? yes 119: Favorite thing about a person: humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies 121: Something you want to do right now: sleep but im restless :( 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? hmmmm depends 123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet for sure.  124: Bright or dim lights? bright bc i need new glasses and cant see in dim light 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? dragons  126: Something you hate about Tumblr: nothing really 127: Something you love about Tumblr: takes my mind off everything 128: What do you think about the least? everything i shud be thinking about 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? something super funny that i cant think of rn 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? John cena bc i think he’d find it funny 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Inability to fake happiness  132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? sometimes! 133: Computer or TV? computer bc its both 134: Do you like roller coasters?  no 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? yes 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed bruh 137: Do you believe in karma? idk 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? strong 8.5! I don’t think im too shabby most of the time actually 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? kiwi 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? yes named Kiki  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? plenty  142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Depends 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Receiving  144: What makes you angry? people not being nice really irks me 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? tag yourself im nonbinaries  147: Are you androgynous? i’d say  148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: lately it’s been my chest. it’s p hot 149: Favorite thing about your personality: I’m funny.  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. uhh idk 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? the uhhh one w swords  152: Do you like BuzzFeed? ya 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] Tindeerrrrr  hah 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? uh idk 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? ya 156: What embarrasses you? a lot 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: when other people are noticably anxious  158: Biggest lie you have ever told: idk 159: How many people are you following? lots  160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? lots 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? like 50 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? like 3,000 ishhhh  163: Last time you cried and why: My birthday bc one of rayvens gifts was ....so ....fuckin..sweet 164: Do you have long or short hair? short 165: Longest your hair has ever been: long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? It’s annoying lmfao 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Only bc im nosy 168: Do you like to wear makeup? no 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yup