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Emmrich wasn’t lying to Rook when he said he doesn’t regret their relationship.

But he did have second thoughts about it, before the end. And those are the thoughts he regrets more than anything, because they could have cost him everything.

His whole life, all Emmrich has wanted is lasting love, something that will last into eternity. Someone to hold his hand, to sleep next to at night. A person that will sit next to him and read books, or work in a garden.

Someone who will say “I love you” in return and mean it.

Wanting is a scary thing. A terrifying thing, if he is to be honest with himself.

Because now he has found someone who wants him back, and while Rook flirts with him in return, and does so at frankly the strangest occasions, Emmrich is terrified this is just another fleeting thing.

But Rook takes his hand, takes his heart, takes all of him and turns those too large feelings into something slightly more manageable.

Parts are put into Manfred; into carefully guiding him to become more, to become someone who can take care of himself long after Emmrich is gone.

More than an assistant; now a prodigy. A son, as Rook says, and a part of Emmrich settles, a part he did not know needed settling, but there all the same.

Like the piece of a puzzle he never knew the scope of.

Then there’s Rook himself; calming and exciting in equal measures until Emmrich no longer knows which way is up.

Rook, who loves unconditionally and surprisingly, who turns Emmrich’s knees weak and holds him up with the same look in his eyes. Rook, who tells him gold is his favourite colour and in the next breath admits that Emmrich is his first in everything.

And how can a man respond to that?

By bewilderment, at first, then pure joy and pride over being chosen. And lastly, thoughts he would like to not admit to, calculating ones entailing how to best go about it, to show how good it can be with the right person. How right.

It feels selfish, Emmrich thinks, but shows an immense amount of trust.

He cannot say no to that. To hold that honour.

So he kisses Rook, shows him the merest hint of what he can look forward to, even as his own body screams at him to take it further but also to step away before he ruins something beautiful again.

He gives, in the end, helpless not to.

Emmrich knows the exact number of days that pass between Rook’s first expression of interest, to their first kiss, to their first time.

And he knows the exact number of days between that, and when Rook is taken from them. From him.

When Rook is taken, Emmrich is terrified.

His love is gone without a trace, after an argument between them that they did not resolve, and the loss of two of their dear friends.

Emmrich can see why people are driven to madness, to desperation, doing whatever it takes to get their loved one back. His books hold no aid for the first time in his life. He cannot return to the Necropolis because what if…

And so he cries and he rages and wears himself into exhaustion again and again, dreams filled with nightmares where Rook is never found and there is an empty grave next to those of his parents.

Even Manfred holds no comfort for him now, as hours turns into days, turn into weeks until finally, there is a hand in his, and he knows that hand unlike none other, and he thinks do not let go this time, clutch it as tight as you can until only eternity remains.

EDIT: now on AO3

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like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

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Chapters: 3/6 Fandom: Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Video Game) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Rook/Emmrich Volkarin Characters: Rook (Dragon Age), Emmrich Volkarin Additional Tags: Demisexuality, Kissing, Mourn Watcher Rook (Dragon Age), Idiots in Love, Flirting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, 5+1 Things, Blow Jobs, I Love You, Porn with Feelings, Feelings, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, Fluff and Smut, Stair Sex, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Gift Giving, Smut, Fluff, Established Relationship, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Oral Sex Summary:

Because Emmrich had waited for Rook to reach this point. Patient. Asking if he’s okay, if he wants this. Reassuring. And now Rook feels settled, knows he can do this without fear or worry.

Without regret. Without shame.

Or:

The five times Rook kneels and the one time Emmrich does. — (Rating counts for chapters 2, 3 and 5. Will upload one chapter a day.)

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Posting on AO3 is like, I'm doing this for myself, but also immediately refreshing the page every 5 seconds to see if you get any hits comments or kudos. But totally only writing for me.

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Could use some help

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am i just really bad at writing or do people not leave comments anymore?

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Fandom: Dragon Age: the Veilguard

Pairing: Rook/Emmrich Volkarin

Characters: Rook, Emmrich Volkarin

Rating: T+

Tags: ending spoilers, Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, manfred lives, Romance, musings, Not Beta Read

—-

“You never asked me why gold is my favourite colour,” Alaris muses, teasing a question from the love of his life.

“Hmm, I must have been otherwise distracted during that particular conversation. Would you care to tell me now dear?”

“Because of you. Because of the way you look decked out in it. Ever since you gave that lecture, that first time I saw you, the way your arms and hands glinted in the light. It took me a long time to figure out what it meant, that sudden attraction to something I couldn’t put into words. It was brand new, and I had no one to ask about it.”

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Fandom: Dragon Age: the Veilguard

Pairing: Rook/Emmrich Volkarin

Characters: Rook, Emmrich Volkarin

Rating: T+

Tags: ending spoilers, Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, manfred lives, Romance, musings, Not Beta Read

—-

“You never asked me why gold is my favourite colour,” Alaris muses, teasing a question from the love of his life.

“Hmm, I must have been otherwise distracted during that particular conversation. Would you care to tell me now dear?”

“Because of you. Because of the way you look decked out in it. Ever since you gave that lecture, that first time I saw you, the way your arms and hands glinted in the light. It took me a long time to figure out what it meant, that sudden attraction to something I couldn’t put into words. It was brand new, and I had no one to ask about it.”

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okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

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The kitty harvest is bountiful this year

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Rook when an unprotected crate/vase/barrel enters their field of vision:

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Lucanis was my first romance in Veilguard, with a transmasc crow mage named Antonio

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Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

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This dad wins Halloween! 🎃💀