#i have part 2 in da queue :]

[sealrock]

A letter to my future self, am I still happy, I began Have I grown up pretty, is Daddy still a good man? Am I still friends with Colleen, I'm sure that I'm still laughing Aren't I... aren't I?

[puuta-heinaa]

Joker Out, Paris (Café de la danse) 22.3.2024

I arrived at the venue around 14ish, and was third to last in the EE queue. However queueing is part of the party! I exchanged sooo many bracelets and met amazing people, some of which I just met that day, some I knew from Discord or tumblr or earlier gigs, couldn't have been happier. Got selfies with Bojan and Jan?? Hug from Bojan??? HELLO. That would never happen in Finland. I described his hug as jämäkkä and turvallinen, which roughly translates to sturdy and safe.

Some of the bracelets I made for the concert!

Met someone in the queue who had hawk's eyes and who encouraged me to go and ask for a selfie with Jan, and later on she spotted Bojan on the street 100 m before everyone else did. I had a chance to give Bojan 3 2 ananaslonkero -bracelet that I'd made, with a tiny drink charm. If the main joke in fandoms is that a hug from your blorbo would cure you? well it's true. Getting a hug from Bojan removed some stiffness between my shoulder blades that I didn't even know was there. It was literally easier to breathe after the encounter. I also kept vigorously shaking for 3-5 minutes afterwards, so much that some people asked if I'm ok. Just released years worth of trauma ig. Also LOTS of happy hand stims throughout the day, my autism was showing lol.

Jan was outdoors SMOKING!!! And Bojan had charmingly dirty hair! He was taller than I had thought.

ANYways the gig !! I ended up on Jance side, which was nice as I was on Kris' side in Helsinki. Whole stage was about as wide as K-18 section at Kultsa, and I think they suit better on smaller stages.

We got Vem da Gres and Gola in soundcheck! I was wearing Vem da gres -bracelet that I got in Helsinki a few weeks ago and thought about that person for a few seconds!

Gola was ok. Bojan got disney mickey ears, and he was wearing my 3 2 ananaslonkero bracelet. Bojan also got a maca plushie that he was NOT scared of, he even made it fly.

Kris left the stage as soon as the last notes of Gola were over, other boys stayed jamming in accelerating speed for couple of more minutes. I showed them my UM sign that only read "I want to sing UMAZAN" at that point. :')

20h02 was ok, didn't connect with their music at all though. JC Stewart seemed a bit sick, but sounded good nevertheless. Finished my sign.

They started with Katrina and Bele Sanje, and people were singing even guitar riffs along. Dopamin hit like dopamine followed by Ne bi smel, Nace was staring at me several times during those songs.

Liinu's superb edit of staring sc Nace and struggling Kris and Arcti's edit about Jan's forgotten library books made my day

People were already singing along to Sta bih ja, and Bojan was sooo happy (and sweaty. We were all very sweaty, the concert hall was ridiculously warm.). Kris disappeared for a moment in the beginning of Sta bih ja, and Bojan looked like a lost puppy (wait, where is kris?? about 5-10 seconds into sta bih ja). Bojan said Kris didn't like how Jan played the riff and that's why he left the stage :P. Jan flipped a bird to him.

Decibels raised by about 20 when they played Ona and Demoni. Turns out they might be the easiest to sing along for absolutely everyone, not just for people who speak Finnish. Bojan looked me directly into eyes during second verse of Demoni for several seconds, and I felt so seen (in a good way). EE was definitely worth its price.

In Helsinki I felt like the setlist was over before it even started, but in Paris it felt more like we were really dancing and playing until the stars fade. I think it had something to do with how much they interacted with each other and with the public during each song. In Helsinki they seemed like they had forgotten how to be on stage, and there was just TOO MUCH SPACE, whereas Paris had Nordic Tour energy.

They all moved a LOT on stage!! Kris was on jance side several times! Nace had a mating dance thingy going on with Kris at least twice, Jan once. Jan interacted with the public on Kris's side a few times. Bojan almost run into Kris at one point - no wonder he caressed Kris's arm to let him know he's there before grapping his hips?? and dancing behind him??? during Behind those eyes. It's cafe de la danse after all.

Def thinking "THIS is how we'll trend on tumblr tonight" right after the famous dance

Everybody's waiting and soooooo many people raised hands when Bojan asked in his spiel before the song if anyone here suffers from panic or anxiety attacks, and I think it made everyone feel less alone. He sang I'm the problem it's me -line to make things a bit lighter before proceeding to the song.

We got Omamljeno Telo and I felt SOOOO HAPPY (but also sad for Moonu) but also SOOOO HAPPY it was on the setlist, I think I screamed VITTU JES on top of my lungs (manifesting it for Ruisrock huh). Famous water spray on Jan during OT, and it shows I've grown old, because instead of "yeeeess I want Bojan's spit on me" I went "rat disease, why am I not wearing a mask".

Everyone sang along during CD, not in French though even if there was a fanproject French translation published a whole 28 hours before(....). Plastika hit like a hammer once again, but I think I was already waiting and stressing for UM, so I didn't mosh for example. Which, good idea, because my neck was soooo sore after Helsinki.

Bojan announced the karaoke song, and asked which versions we have today. He saw my sign, asked "Slovenian version?", to which I "said" (from 4th row on Jan+Nace side) Finnish version, and he heard it and corrected himself and said perfect. I was not afraid at all even if I knew I'm probs going to sing in front of about 500 people in 5ish minutes???? How??? I'm usually a ball of anxiety but here I was just proud and excited to sing my version of it.

I loved the Bretogne/French version (I've still no idea what were the words, but it rhymed super well and she sang well, but that was def NOT paris region French), cringed at some of the "translations" because they did not fit the lines and did not rhyme, sang along to Slovenian versions in Finnish, felt bad for one of them as the karaoke singer started at the wrong moment and Bojan spent most of their special moment trying to orchestrate the band.

When Bojan approached with "I think we still have a Slovenian version, OH NO, A FINNISH VERSION" I chortled, and felt the last bits of nervousness disappear. (Cue "some boat, titanic, oh no".) I had my ACTUALLY finger pointing moment, which, on point with my personality, telling him it's a hybrid version. I don't know what he meant with SUOMI SAA, but it was NOT full-on Suomi SAATANA, that much is certain. I quite like the idea/interpretation he was making a pun with SAA(tan)Are you ready? But who knows. Sad about missed chance to answer "ArE YoU???" now that I think about it, but at least I wasn't the only one who failed the moment :') . Speaking of cursewords though, a histronic youngster next to me did shout vittu though! I loved my spot but she was super annoying throughout the evening.

The Finnish version is in the beginning of this one, and the Arabic version right after Finnish version is AMAZING. The French version is on the first part, as well as Bojan going "uuu Finnish version? perfect".

Started in Slovene, which made him have a Ok?? face, but when I switched to my own Finnish version that rhymes with the Slovene version, he raised his brows and seemed so impressed that I just nodded to him, sending telepath(et)ic messages that yes, our languages match and rhyme, about time you collaborate with Jere. I think he remembered I asked for a hug in the afternoon, because he did not hug everyone during karaoke. Afternoon hug was better btw.

I love his little surprised smile right when I finish the first Finnish line on this one

I usually think quite a lot about how other people perceive me, but now I didn't give a single fuck, just enjoyed being the main character for 20 seconds, having this interaction with my blorbo. Forever grateful for the 4 different angles I received from friends I made in the queue, and 1 from a random guy who asked me after the concert if I'd like to receive a video he took of me singing. Even Vita was filming the whole thing with her big light + camera + phone ensemble. I often sing in my car, and even IMAGINING i'm singing karaoke makes my voice suddenly tiny and weak and compressed, so I'm overflowingly glad it went this well, you have no idea even if I've just bragged about it for 4 paragraphs.

I later realised I was the only one who didn't hold the mic themself, this is a clear example how I objectify the boys, seeing Bojan just as a mic stand.🫣😵‍💫

I got fluent Kiitos from Bojan, that guy needs to move to Finland he speaks Finnish so well. Also LMAO I forgot to sniff him in the afternoon, now I'm praying the snifff I took after karaoke wasn't too evident and doesn't show on Vita's video……….. Jere is wrong, Bojan does not smell like shit, but there were no parfume smell either? He just smells like nothing in a pleasant, pheromone rich way lol.

my translation: Sanje so tvojega okusa Aamuihin taas tuoksusi Neula ei haarukassa Sieluni on hukassa Etsimässä tietään luoksesi

I haven't figured how to translate the first line. I've been playing with "Makus' on tarrannut uniini", but it does not rhyme with the og well enough. Otherwise super proud of my version. Neula and haarukka are parts of compass, basically saying the compass is layed on the map the wrong way. 🧭

This is how small the place was??? I was in 3/4th row, and the hat guy in the right corner was right behind me during the concert so the club truly was tiny.

Apparently bubbles were not allowed on stage in Cafe de la danse? But some people had brought their own so we had bubbles anyway.

Jure exchanged his drumstick to a breadstick. I laughed because a) it was a clever pun and b) such a stereotypically French thing to bring a BAGUETTE wrapped in a napkin to a concert. Also no wonder boys are always sick, I don't even want to know how many people touched that bread before it was on stage.

Life is pain (in mouths)

We waited for the boys after the concert outside the venue in the rain, and they walked past quite quickly. Bojan stayed for 30 seconds to take a group selfie. <3

Honestly so happy I traveled there and met amazing people and surpassed myself on so many levels.

I feel like 2004 again, because that's when I last made a post this long on livejournal and also when I last was this hyped about a group.

I loved band's AMAZING OUTFITS in Café de la danse, everyone had some idrija lace on them, and I'm afraid my next special interest will be bobbin lace.

[cordsycords]

Decided to go back to a DA:O playthrough that I started a while back and I just got to the fade, and I am finally remembering why people add mods to skip this level.

It's not that bad, I said to myself, you remember how to do this, just find all the shapeshifting stuff and you're golden.

Anyways, the puzzle part of the level is not the worst part. It's the doing it by yourself of it.

AND IM A FUCKING MAGE.

(and I don't have any specializations yet so no arcane warrior to tank it all)

Some other notes I have:

I only ever played origins on console before now, and I honestly think I liked it more? It was somehow easier to tell exactly who your PC was going to be attacking, because you were always attached to them rather than in tactics view.

Also, the range of the tactics view camera is extremely limited, so sometimes the game pauses and starts combat too far away from enemies, and you can't see them yet

I also think RTwP is just... The Worst type of combat system, either give me full turn based, or give me all real-time, the in-between annoys me. Or maybe it's just because I don't like the top-down, cause I'm normally fine with power wheels.

The Aesthetic of the game can still be best described as "various shades of dirt". Thank god for mods

DA:O probably still has the best quest design of the bunch, and I hope DA:V takes its queues from that rather than DA:2 or DA:I. Same with map design. I like the enclosed areas with interesting side-content to run into. There's also (from what I remember) a lot less backtracking in this game, so once you go to a place and finish the main quest there, it's unlikely you'll visit again. Encourages really looking for that side-content.

Inventory limits continue to be the bane of my existence and Should Be Stopped. Like, seriously, if you are going to give me this many types of potions, then potions shouldn't take up a slot.

[nulltune]

will be lurking around and tossing stuff to da queue for the most part (aka the usual status quo 4 this blog) 🫡 miight vibe around @ discord tho so feel free 2 poke me if u'd like ! :D i know i def have some ppl i need to nyoom at and respond to so 🏃‍♂️💨 GODSPEED! but alsooo if we don't have each other added yet ...... add me!! 🫶 just lmk who you are úwù💖 (i have some energy so maybe talk to me abt muse stuff maybe.. pspspspsp...)

filet lynnon#7423

[imakemywings]

I posted 23,398 times in 2022

421 posts created (2%)

22,977 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fade-steppin

@lesbianhaleth

@meadowlarkx

@verecunda

I tagged 18,503 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#tolkien tag - 6,933 posts

#the silmarillion - 4,543 posts

#the omnipotent queue - 1,766 posts

#lotr - 1,634 posts

#da - 1,543 posts

#the hobbit - 1,217 posts

#the locked tomb - 1,157 posts

#dai - 921 posts

#arcane - 891 posts

#harrowhark nonagesimus - 746 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#tbh does it not fit with kafka's general pathetic aesthetic that a bunch of internet losers in the 21st century keep posting his diary entri

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There’s another draft (“the Draft”) of The Silmarillion where Amrod and Amras (then still Damrod and Diriel) primarily lead the Third Kinslaying, with Maedhros and Maglor offering “reluctant” aid, and this is fascinating to me because it offers, frankly, the most characterization of the twins we get anywhere in the Legendarium.

We know almost nothing about them and I think they often get the treatment of a youngest sibling or set of twins by the fandom which is that they’re kind of cheeky and run a bit wild but are generally amiable and comedic. The picture painted by this brief mention in the Draft is very different. It presents a much darker side to the twins which perhaps existed before, or perhaps developed only after they had been apart from their brothers for a long while in Middle-earth.

Generally I still picture Maedhros as the “leader” but the idea of Amrod and Amras driving the effort to attack the Havens at Sirion even after the events of the Second Kinslaying is quite juicy. Not only are they the champions of this effort in the Draft, Tolkien describes how they “ravaged” Sirion. They were fearsome in their efforts to regain the Silmaril, perhaps to the point that their own willingness to violence led to their deaths there. This was not “just as much violence as we need to get what we want,” this is characterized as wanton brutality, which to me smacks of revenge for the deaths of their brothers.

They would have also been likely to know that the Gondolindrim--the remnants of their cousins’ people--were there as well, but clearly this did not stay their hands, if they knew it.

There’s something narratively fascinating about the twins returning from their travels and sojourns abroad in the wilds of Middle-earth as people their brothers don’t recognize anymore, in becoming drivers of the violence that’s now taken three of their brothers. Was it an act of revenge, primarily? Did they see themselves as avenging Celegorm, Caranthir, and Curufin on the refugees of Doriath? Was it about the Silmaril? And if it was, was it about retaking something that belonged to them, or avenging their father’s murder and robbery, or just about having something to show for all the years they had been chewing over that oath?

(I come again to the fact that Melkor still possessed two Silmarils, but the Feanorians chose to pursue Luthien’s--and again I think Amrod and Amras were not out for the Silmaril, but for revenge.)

And as to Maedhros and Maglor--why allow the twins to talk them into this? Did they see no other way and so considered it a necessary evil? Was it just that Amrod and Amras were willing to suggest that they all saw as the only path? Were they unwilling to let Amrod and Amras go alone, for safety? Did Amrod and Amras convince them it was necessary to avenge their brothers, or that none of them would be at peace without Luthien’s Silmaril? And what were Maedhros and Maglor’s feelings on it in the long run, when it became clear what a mistake they had made?

I know this part didn’t make it into the published Silmarillion, so it’s deuterocanonical at best, but being as it’s basically the only evidence we have of what Amrod and Amras were like as people, I can’t help but return to it. What were the twins like? Going off this, every bit as terrifying as the rest of their brothers.

436 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#4

I’ve seen a lot of fanon to the effect that Maedhros refuses to go by “Maitimo” anymore after Angband (for a variety of reasons) and I can get behind this. I also think that, with this in mind, if/when he gets to set foot living in Aman again all it takes is one “Maitimo” from Nerdanel for him to collapse sobbing on the ground because that is his MOMMY who gave him that name in love and tenderness because he was her beautiful baby boy and even after everything that he’s done and everything that happened, he is still and will always be her Maitimo

461 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#3

Elrond has mad main character energy for a dude that shows up only in the background of other people’s stories. I mean think about it:

Orphaned during the “cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf” and raised by the guys that destroyed his people and drove his mother to her death*

Dad spends his time flying a magical star-ship around and slew Ancalagon the Black, the biggest dragon ever to live

Child of unusual blood (part Elf, part Man)

Got to choose his destiny (mortal vs. immortal)

Child of the union of the two most noteworthy bloodlines of the Eldar (Finwe’s line through Earendil; Thingol’s line through Elwing)

Tragically loses his twin brother to making the opposite choice vis-a-vis destiny

Power of foresight

Great-grandchild of Luthien Tinuviel and Beren

Member of the court of Gil-Galad, last high king of the Noldor in Middle-earth

Builds his own retreat for Elves which becomes one of the last Elven settlements in Middle-earth

Bearer of a ring of power

Marries Celebrian daughter of Galadriel, arguably the only one of Finwe’s grandchildren to survive to the Third Age**

Loses Celebrian when she sails West to preserve her life after being captured by Orcs

Was present at the War of the Last Alliance; likely saw Gil-Galad get killed

And yet he’s never the star of the show, but playing a supporting role. In some ways he might prefer this, but it is a bit funny I think because in any other story a dude with this backstory would definitely be the main character.

631 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#2

I know Silm tells us essentially that Nerdanel was a moderating force on Feanor, but I refuse to believe she was the “holder of the brain cell” as the current fandom phrasing goes, or the Only Sane Man in the house. #1 because I don’t think someone like that would have married a person like Feanor in the first place; and #2 because it’s just boring as fuck imo

Silm also tells us that Nerdanel was basically the only one to ever change Feanor’s mind through counsel, and that they were “companions on many journeys” and that it was only his later deeds that “grieved her.” Which idk doesn’t sound to me like a description of someone who spent her whole time in this relationship demanding Feanor behave more responsibly and trying to reign in his passions. Feanor and Nerdanel’s relationship is, in my view, very much posited as a love story of equals. Other details we know are that a) Feanor married young (no comment on Nerdanel’s age iirc); and b) His choice in spouse was surprising to the rest of the Noldor. This has always suggested, to me, that Feanor fell very hard and very fast for Nerdanel, and that he was convinced she was The One, and that their relationship was formed on a deep understanding of each other as people. Feanor didn’t care that Nerdanel was “not the fairest of her people” or that as the crown prince of the Noldor, he could perhaps have cast a much wider net in a search for a spouse. Furthermore, because Elves don’t seem to marry for politics, Nerdanel had no serious motivation to agree unless she also wanted to get married.

Which brings me to my main point: Nerdanel saw Feanor’s slightly unhinged behavior and went “damn that’s pretty hot.” You will never convince me that Feanor’s burning passions aren’t exactly what attracted Nerdanel to him in the first place. Yes they make him hot-tempered and impulsive and occasionally (self-) destructive, but they also make him interesting. Feanor feels so much about everything and his deep need and desire to create and to understand and better the world around him was precisely what made Nerdanel take another look at him. She could get underneath the prickliness to the artist, the scholar, and she loved those things, and maybe she even loved how much he rejected anyone’s efforts to make him quiet down or behave differently, to make himself more likeable. They had seven kids together--which, iirc, is the most kids of any Elven couple in Arda--ever. Is that not supposed to be indicative of the passion these two held for each other?

And frankly, I would also buy she willingly took his side in most family feuds, even when she knew Feanor was being unreasonable, and furthermore, that she found a great deal of his disruptive behavior entertaining. Anaire and Earwen can try to convince her to push Feanor to apologize to Fingolfin for his latest Incident, but is she going to? Not unless Feanor’s done something really outrageous. Otherwise, she probably can’t even get through telling him “that was really unnecessary” without laughing. Nerdanel, apologize for Feanor’s behavior? Not likely!

Nerdanel acted as a moderating force on Feanor in that I think he was just calmer around her. He’s a very volatile person and we know that he never meshed well with his step-family and possibly felt out of place generally owing to Miriel’s fate, but I think with Nerdanel it felt like he had found a place. She understood him and they were partners and they were going to do this Life thing together. With Nerdanel, I think he began from a more relaxed, less reactive place, which had a corresponding impact on his behavior. And of course, because he felt Nerdanel understood him (and liked him), and he respected and loved her, he was willing to listen to her counsel (sometimes) when he would take no one else’s.

Lastly, the idea of Nerdanel spending hundreds or thousands of years as Feanor’s put-upon wife, trying to manage him and their seven children, essentially reduced to a Nagging Wife stereotype as she acts as the only restraint on him is just so boring and what an incredible, appalling waste of her character. Why don’t you just slap her down in a 1960s sitcom? I think Nerdanel deserves more than that. She had no reason to marry Feanor except that she wanted to, because she had spent a lot of time with him and she wanted him, she loved him, and she saw a future for them together, as partners.

911 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

To me, Legolas--cheerful, optimistic, courageous, gregarious--comes across as someone who had a happy childhood. And that hits hard, especially knowing that by his birth, the Greenwood was already declining into Mirkwood, the shadow of Sauron’s spirit spreading and poisoning the land. Already Greenwood was far diminished from what it was--Thranduil led home less than a third of the forces Oropher had marched to Mordor in the War of the Last Alliance. Thranduil himself, whether you take for canon the movie interpretation of his injuries in the War of Wrath and the death of his beloved wife, is someone who is almost certainly carrying considerable trauma. He is canonically Doriathrim which suggests that at the least he survived two kinslayings against his people. Given that he lived in Beleriand at the time it feels safe to assume he fought in the WoW. We know he accompanied Oropher to Mordor during WLA and watched his father’s early charge lead to his death--and early in the fight, too. Thranduil was crowned king on the battlefield and had to finish the war before leading the Greenwood’s tattered army home.

And yet.

And yet Legolas seems emotionally healthy, well-adjusted, comfortable in himself and his surroundings, willing and able to make quick friends, admires his father, and speaks only ever with the greatest fondness of his home. Legolas is happy. Despite having grown up in the shadow of Mirkwood, despite his father’s trauma, despite the decline of his home realm--he, to my eye, shouts of someone who was raised in a happy home, by people who loved him. In LotR, Gandalf says of Legolas that he has lived “in joy” in the Woodland Realm.

Which means that Thranduil--and likely many others in Mirkwood--put in real effort to make Legolas’ childhood as safe and happy as they possibly could. I think for Thranduil, having experienced the trauma that he did--and possibly being scarred by the deaths of Elured and Elurin, and the kidnapping of Elrond and Elros--it was of heightened importance that he do everything within his power to raise his own child in as much joy and security as he could.

It just makes me emotional, thinking that despite the despair threatening them and the dangers facing the Woodland Realm and the fact that the time of the Elves in Middle-earth was waning, Legolas was raised in such love that it comes through so clearly in his character, even centuries after he was grown.

2,461 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[telenovelameta]

woo let's go. new blog! created this mostly so i dont spam my main with stuff most gringos haven't even heard about lol

so as anyone who's talked to me for 2 minutes irl knows... i watch a lot of novelas. like a lot. specially when working all-nighters... i usually get through a lot of storylines pretty quickly (i can hit 20+ episodes in a night easy, healthy? idk... but there's just something about melodrama that hits The Right Chemicals in my brain, esp during Deadline Crunch Time). but, i'm usually someone that likes to analyze and criticize the stuff i watch, and it's usually pretty frustrating to not have anywhere to put those thoughts (besides the after mentioned off-topic spam on main), i also feel this medium is kinda under-scrutinized, even by "professional critics" (who are usually, tbh, pretty baseline in their analysis), so, hence this blog. expect takes / opinions / analysis just general comments on novelas i'm currently watching. maybe some gifsets reblogs here and there when i catch those rare fish, maybe some fanart if im really in the mood... in general tho i'm extremely busy w/ other projects (fandom projects included) so expect this blog to be rlly informal and "train of thought"- ish. sorta like ur personal broadcast of my internal monologue from injecting 200+ hours of melodrama into the brain. .... so, what to expect? currently i'm going through: 1- a viagem (the 90s globo remake, am at chapter 61 of 167)

2- totalmente demais (have about 10 eps to finish)

3- bom suceso (about 30 eps to finish i think?) 4- alem da ilusao (i was following this day-to-day when it was airing but kinda lost interest in the last month, i'm looking to finish it at some point though) --- there's 3 novelas that live rent free in my head and i will probably post about sporadically as well: i've also been doing an on-and-off rewatch of senhora do destino (third one, this time with my mom), we're on episode 90 or so I believe. it's been about 2 years of a rewatch tho so lol may take at least another 3. besides that, some n i'm part of the team of @floricientasubbed , and am always translating and analyzing the eps of floricienta. mostly the new takes i get while doing that are kept on our discord, but if there's a worthy enough idea to share, i'll put it here. i'm also working on a long-term sequel project (fan comic format) to cheias de charme, which i may also post about from time to time. --- in the future im looking to watch some venezuelan ones... and maybe rewatch las aparicio (maybe after reading dona flor y sus dos maridos? i feel in first watch i missed some of that literary context). i have more brazilian stuff in the queue as well, but i would like to switch it up a bit after finishing the ones i'm currently going through. well, that's it for now! back to the proverbial tube...

[yeowninefive]

My 2023 Art Retrospective (Part 2)

This is the second part of an already long reflection of my art progress from this year. Click this link to read the first part.

Art output/reception: Not much else to say that was different from 2022, honestly. It's pretty straightforward sequel escalation--I managed to again beat my old records by a pretty significant amount--over eighty unique drawings, which increases to over ninety when including alternate versions...and the count goes even higher (over one-hundreds) when taking another factor into consideration (I'll address it later). I'd also again say that I do get the sentiment of my art being less obscure as it was in the past--I'd say there were a significant boost of interest (in views and/or interactions such as favorites/likes, reblogs/reposts, etc.) with my art in 2023 compared to 2022--with my 2023 art on dA actually showing nearly quadruple the number of favorites and number of views that my art in 2022 received (at least, based on my personal metrics of art with favorites/views above a certain threshold).

This giant amplification of art production is admittedly based on a few real-life scenarios. Overall I can definitely say that certain other hobbies that I like to do (watching films/shows and playing videogames/making Smash Bros. montages) took a major backseat; and that's actually something I'd like to address going into 2024. The question there of course is if I'm at a point where I could keep up my art production without--which is again where my time management comes in. I hope I can make better strides in figuring it out--there have been more than a few times where I've stayed up late working on art that I reasonably could had pushed off for later and went to bed, and spending lots of time on art that I could had spent doing something else. I am of the thought that if push really does come to shove, I'm okay with putting out less art for 2024 if it means I can get back to doing other things.

Another thing I'm thinking about/looking into using more is sticking more towards a fixed/predicting publishing schedule, so I can "stack up/queue" completed artwork and put more time towards other things. Posting art on multiple avenues is also time-consuming (esp. since I like to add tags and descriptions when appropriate), so I'm also thinking about learning how to utilize APIs, if possible, so I can quickly and/or simultaneously post new art to multiple platforms. Speaking of which.

Art platforms: I talked about trying to change strategy with my art platforms with the first-run/second-run approach, I even talking about having tumblr serving as more of a second-run account. Obviously, that didn't really pan out--that much is clear with this site still being the host for my retrospective art rambles, warts and all. I guess I'm just too embedded with this platform to really shift it towards second gear. Maybe I can take steps there by relying more with scheduled art releases.

I talked about expanding my platforms once Twitter started self-immolating under Elon's then-new control, and dA also showing its hand by jumping headfirst into the AI train. (And it goes without saying that tumblr itself, with the contentious choices and decisions taken this year, isn't off the hook with making dumb decisions--though they eventually overextended themselves/shot themselves in the foot and re-adjusted their focus. Which is...some sort of acknowledgement of mistakes, I guess?) I ended up wading into the waters of three new platforms (technically two, one was actually a 2nd take)...and my experience I'd say as a pretty mixed bag, probably leaning more towards negative.

Instagram was the one that I eventually decided to take another stab with, and I'm afraid I didn't get much, if any, value out of it at all. Even when re-entering that platform with my (to-date) most popular works as the focus, I ultimately felt the lack of interest rendered it of minimal value, even as a "second-run" art account; ultimately just having it go dormant. (By the same coin, it doesn't leave me really invested in setting up shop over at Threads--though I feel for anyone looking to swear off Musk-Twitter/X, I would definitely recommend people there as a baseline.) Cohost by the same coin is also pretty empty, but that at least has the argument of being a much smaller platform that is also aiming for a different approach to social media. Nonetheless, I feel like that's a platform I could probably pump the brakes on a bit in terms of use; with few people the wiser. Bluesky to me actually comes out the best out of the new ventures I've tried--namely because it has the most expats from Twitter that I'm familiar with, who I've been able to follow and share their art, and vice-versa. Even with it still lacking features, its growing audience (esp. with it now going public) feels like the ideal "new" platform to keep tabs on.

Between what's now currently five platforms I'm regularly active on (maybe four if I do move cohost towards more of a passive/background role), I don't see myself making any further expansions for 2024. Pillowfort I considered, but hadn't signed up the broad lack of activity, which eventually seemed to come back to haunt the site when they were at risk of shutting down due to lack of profits. They did manage a successful crowdfund, so hopefully that marks a turning point for their fortunes. Newgrounds is also probably the only other platform besides Bluesky that a lot of artists/creatives I follow have set-up shop; though I feel that if I do join Newgrounds, it will be as a replacement for an existing platform I'm already on, and not just another extension (e.g. if Twitter finally collapsed/was shut down/was widely abandoned).

Alternate art label/art blog: So when in art output I talked about an additional factor pushing my art over the triple digits this year? This was the additional factor. Sometime during the summer, I decided to open a new art blog under a new label where I can post art I normally wouldn't post under this label. (Art that to date, isn't explicit --not like I would be able to post such art here anyway-- but is suggestive/mature enough to not be worksafe.) Truth be told, there have are a couple of works on this blog/label that pushed the envelope a bit into that area anyway, and my main blog has historically had such material crop up on an regular--to--irregular basis regardless. In other words, this is a bit of an expected/natural extension.

My current policy is that this blog and my main blog don't really directly draw attention to it outside of a few instances like this one, or even really acknowledge it by name. The most I will say (for anyone curious/looking for it) is that art from that blog occasionally turns up in my main blog, and it (to date) has only featured some of my OCs (and at least one from another creator).

A Decade of Drawing: If you've been following my Twitter account, you may be aware of a long thread I wrote impromptu in response to another creator, with me discussing why I'm not as "big" as a creator that I probably/possible could have been or should had been, which I feel serves as a more self-critical review of my art trajectory over the past ten years. (Long story shortened into bullet points--subject matter, drawing process/frequency, "timing" of when I started drawing, the platforms I posted my art on in question, and commissions/requests. Some of this stuff I've already touched on in this retrospective already.)

However, I would also like to turn things towards more of a positive note by pointing out what I've done then compared to now. I'm still sheepish about stuff like doing art commissions; but I'm still able to occasionally crank out gift art like I do like nobody's business--and I mainly do those purely just for the fun of it. By that coin, although I'm still a (self-prescribed) obscure artist, I know there does exist small group of people on the 'net somewhere (other artists, just online friends, and others) that are honest fans of the stuff I make and continue following my works and ideas, and I don't ever want to lose sight of that.

I feel that I've also really broadened my art direction in trying to replicate multiple art directions and different subjects. I still have yet to really try and reattempt my oldest stuff (environmental artwork/landscapes), but I've also freely bounced around between original character design, fanart, animation, comics, and videogame concepts. Although I've drawn OCs and comics before, I don't really think I've ever really taken seriously writing down ideas for stories/characters and polish/develop them until I started drawing on a regular basis. (This seems a bit premature to boast as an accomplishment, but I really do mean it--it's honestly up to myself to prove it and really start translating the backlog of my concepts.)

I'll finally end things here by putting it into the perspective of this real-life factoid. A lot can change in ten years for the better, and I'd say it's not just my art that has done so. I started this little online art career shortly after I had just graduated from high school, and was getting prepared to start attending college. My first drawing tablet was itself a graduation gift. That was ten years (and an additional extra six-seven months) ago.

At some point in the first month of the new year, my degree (which after an entire decade of trials, tribulations, and setbacks, I was able to finally complete in December) is supposed to arrive in the mail. I'll probably post a little doodle to commemorate the occasion. In a lot of ways, I view 2013 as the end of an age and the dawn of the next; and I feel confident is saying with the end of 2023 and going into 2024, the feelings and sentiments are very much familiar.

....

I think I have finally covered everything that was on my mind. Again, here's an honest thank you to anyone who has stuck around to read the whole thing (so far), and have a Happy New Year's Eve/New Year's Day and a wonderful 2024.

[boopeth]

I was tagged by @sebfreak . Thank youuu.

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's a long story that i've shared before, but basically video games and brainrot.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. lewdeth, its a nsfw blog so that this one doesn't ever lose the avatar like my old blog did in 2018 purge.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? 2012

4. do you have a queue tag? uhh yeah i think i used to have like a special tag, but right now i just do q

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? i honestly cannot remember at all. i was bored, facebook sucked, myspace was gone, reddit was boring, twitter was annoying, i think it was just the only place left.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? looked cool, planning on changing it again soon

7. why did you choose your header? looks cool, if part of my header is the like title it's an elden ring reference from the best guy in the dlc.

8. what’s your post with the most notes? had to check cause i didn't know but it seems to be an anime cap from tsukimichi that says cats are great.

9. how many mutuals do you have? idk lots im not gonna count . i generally check out all the people who follow me. if i like their blog i follow back,

10. how many followers do you have? 1835

11. how many people do you follow? 1091

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes, frequently.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? really depends on the day. lots of days i don't even get on, and other times im on every few minutes in between doing stuff.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? not really, at least not for the purpose of tumblr. there has been people that i've gotten close to that we argued about random stuff but had nothing to do with tumblr.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i really don't care for it. im nihilistic as fuck me reblogging that shit isn't gonna fix anything. it's not what im here for, and it's why i don't like twitter. i just wanna see cool pics, anime tiddies, and horror aesthetic stuff.

16. do you like tag games? i like the fact that people tag me in stuff cause it makes it seem like they're either interested in getting to know me more, or that they think im a cool mutual who they wish to tag.

17. do you like ask games? yeah, it's fun to have people interested in you by asking stuff about you, i feed on the validation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i don't think anyone. tumblr seems to be this weird place where even if you're a 10k+ followers blog, you're still the same kind of internet degen that a smaller blog is. like people are mostly here to see your reblogs which most blogs don't create.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? not particularly. but all my moots are hot af so all of them.

20. what is the last song you listened to? Baddadan(feat. IRAH, Flowdan, Trigga & Takura) by Chase & Status.

21. what are you currently watching? oshi no ko s2, nokotan brainrot, TOG s2, slime S3, and other anime from this season.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i like all. major sweet tooth but i have an obsession with hot cheetos so spicy?

23. what is your current relationship status? dead inside

24. what is your current obsession? uhh nothing in particular? still do gacha games, league swarm has been fun. always obsessed with music. energy drinks lately.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you’ve been listening to lately?

songs cause albums would be too hard, gonna hit shuffle on my liked song and put them on here, indecision. prepare for the roller coaster

Ew - Joji

Man on the run - Dash Berlin

Drowning - A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie.

The hand that feeds - Nine Inch Nails

Magnetic - ILLIT

HP - Maluma

Shame - 2Chainz, Lil Wayne

Dead Talk - Wind Walkers

it's my fault - Willow if you actually listen to these 9 songs my bad

i tag : @dreamweazel (got it right this time), @grimmscythe , @ghvsts, @creepingkyofu,

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[wisehq]

Mission Debrief: Chapter Forty-Seven

...Right through the goddamn door!

Annnnnnddddd turns out it was option 2 behind the door. Endo went the cliche route and had the ol’ “bad guy disguised as room server” schitck, but considering we got a wicked assassination from Yor out of it I’m definitely not complaining (guess it was a good thing it wasn’t Loid and Anya!) This was probably the most action packed chapter since Loid took on Edgar’s men way back in the first chapter, and I am living for it. So let’s talk about it!

(Also just a quick shout out to @tare-chan​ and @musiciati​ for their awesome analyses. Check them out if you haven’t already!)

Okay, like I said already, the room service guy. It’s cliche. It’s obvious. It’s overdone- but I think that was kind of the point. The moment we saw this guy we already knew what was gonna happen, and yet it was still exciting seeing everyone pop off and Yor impaling the guy with her dagger (with a little help from McMahon and his darts, of course.) It quickly becomes apparent that plot isn’t the main focus of this chapter- rather it’s the action. We’ve had exposition. We’ve had buildup. The last three chapters were mostly talking, and now we’re getting into the actual fun part of this arc.

Endo has been building Yor up this whole time, and now we’re finally seeing everything come to a head as if the manga were this big, blockbuster summer movie about an army of assassins out for blood on a cruise liner. We’ve got all the tropes; an evil man-behind-the-chair, the eclectic group of cutthroat criminals, and a well-composed leader to reign them all in...

...For the most part.

The kill count is climbing fast, which I suppose is to be expected when you’re in Yor’s line of work. Still, it’s interesting- and a little bit concerning- how readily these guys are willing to turn on each other. We see that more as the chapter progresses and things devolve into essentially chaos. Everyone knows that Olka and Yor know they’re being targeted, so it becomes a rat race to see who can kill the former first.

Queue the masquerade scene (which funnily enough a lot of people were hoping would happen at some point, though not quite in this way). Yor is perfection in this whole sequence. Her assassin instincts are on full display, able to recognize the subtle feeling of killing intent even among an entire ballroom full of people. She has her eyes on everyone in there, including her charges, and despite her being nervous she invariably has everything under control.

First taking out a hitman with a button from across the room, and then leading a man twice her size out on the dance floor. I just have to reiterate that everything about this was so slick and smooth. Yor’s killer accuracy. The ease she takes this man with her insane strength. That little bit at the end where she reveals she’s married and tells him “it isn’t right”- god, move over Twilight. Your wife is the real smooth one in the family xD

Speaking of, it was only a matter of time before Anya got involved. It was kind of obvious that she’d be the first one to be clued in on Yor’s work, since she already knew the set-up for everything anyway. Now Anya knows the true extent of the trouble she’s in, even more so since we as the reader now know how much money is actually on the line here. Pulling out the math we did to figure out the cost of Handler’s coat, we know that Dalc= 3.16 to the U.S dollar. That means the combined bounty for both Olka and her son comes out to $2,528,000- an amount sizeable enough to make a boat full of eager assassins do anything to obtain.

Luckily- as expected- Loid is no slouch in keeping tabs on the boat-goers. Of course he’s not privy to the potential slaughter happening on in the background, but he does immediately recognize all the wires and bugs hidden everywhere on the ship. I’m glad Endo pointed this out because a) I knew Loid would sniff them out eventually and b) It gives Loid the excuse as to why he won’t draw attention to himself through out all this. Evil-franky (the intelligence guy) is listening to everything going on in the ship. If he hears any little detail that might point him to Yor and Olka, he’ll seize it...though good luck getting anything out of Loid when he’s on his best behavior. He won’t accidentally let anything slip out now that he knows people are listening, allowing him and Anya (and by extension Yor) some degree of anonymity-

-Assuming Loid can figure his daughter out. Poor guy just can’t catch a break, especially when Anya has no idea how to help her mama out. I know people were feeling bad that Anya has this recurring fear of Loid leaving her and Yor (frog hater), but honestly I was too busy laughing to care. Also I just have to appreciate Loid trying to be a good dad (FoR dA mISsuN.) Let him worry about that while his wife takes on an army. Y’know, typical Forger stuff.

It’s gonna be a whole month before the next chapter, but that doesn’t mean a lack of SxF! Endo’s been leaking out panels from his new novel and it’s looking fantastic. Also we’ve been seeing a lot more fan artists and writers popping up lately, so kudos to them for keeping us sated until chapter 48 drops! Ya’ll are the best!

Also, BONUS

BEBE BIRB

[vassar177]

Cause for Concern

All kinds of people pass through karaoke bars, it just so happens that Nie Mingjue recognizes someone this time. And it's a bit concerning.

Or, the one where Nie Mingjue works at a karaoke house and Jiang Cheng sings through the five stages of grief.

This was a prompt request from the highly relatable @niebruvsky on twitter. Enjoy!

~ Ao3 link here ~

---

Saturday nights are always the worst.

People of all ages come in and out with the most ridiculous requests; ranging from the mild "can I get your number?”; to the slightly unreasonable but still entertaining "sing this song with us youngin’”; right up to the wholly intolerable “please do this stupid internet trend so I can record you for clout.” 

All waiting for him to have some extraordinary reaction when the only thing he really wants to do is go home.

The only reason even works a lousy job at the karaoke house is because it was the only place with a part-time, overnight shift that would accept him once they saw his tattoos.

His normal bodyguard job doesn’t care too much since he wears a suit most of the time- and his strength is the only thing that matters anyway- but apparently, convenience stores are still a bit picky about these things.

And someone needs to help pay for the rest of Huaisang’s schooling. They can’t keep relying on their parents’ inheritance; three major changes only to drop out and end up in a technical school isn’t particularly cheap. Nie Mingjue groans as he stretches his arms.

He was lucky today.

His coworkers immediately noticed he was in no mood to entertain and put him on desk duty, which isn’t particularly interesting. But it does come in handy sometimes.

Like when your brother’s friend mindlessly walks in, eyes cast down avoiding all contact and reserves a booth indefinitely.

Nie Mingjue looks down at the queue one last time before finally making his decision. The dial tone rings four times.

“A-sang.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, one that tells Nie Mingjue exactly where his younger brother is. The pounding bass, the in and out warping of synths, the much too loud droning of a distorted singer.

Nie Mingjue adds ‘pick up a shitfaced Huaisang’ to his mental checklist.

“Da-ge, what’s up?”

Nie Mingjue can barely hear him. “What’s your friend’s name?”

“Da-ge, you’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”

Nie Mingjue sighs, looking down onto the music queue for room 304. There are two more songs added. “The pretty one that’s always angry.”

“Jiang Cheng?” A few odd sounds filter through the phone and suddenly all the noise Nie Mingjue had been hearing is muffled close to nothing. His voice echoes when he speaks next, “why? Is something wrong? Is he okay?”

“I think he’s cycled through every emotion possible within the last four hours. He’s ordered seven Tequila Sunrises and is currently singing Whitney Houston.”

Nie Mingjue will silently admit the kid has good taste, after he confirms whether or not he needs to stage an intervention.

Now it’s Nie Huaisang’s turn to sigh. Which is never a good thing.

“He’s had...a rough week.” Nie Huaisang gives, ambiguous as always, but Nie Mingjue has all the information he needs.

He may not be the best with faces, but he certainly remembers names and ‘Jiang Cheng’ makes a frequent appearance in his brother’s rants.

“He’s taking your bed though.” Nie Mingjue hangs up before Nie Huaisang can fully vocalize his outraged squawk.

The clock shines a bright 2:17 am and he figures he can leave early for once.

Packing his things doesn’t take long, his bag had stayed with him since he hadn’t been required to get into uniform today. Making his way to room 304, Nie Mingjue braces himself for whatever he’s about to walk into.

He can hear the muted sounds of what he thinks is a power ballad and a very sad tambourine through the door.

What he opens the door to isn’t all that different from what he heard, actually.

Jiang Cheng is sitting at the edge of one of the sofas with what seems to be nine empty glasses beside him. He looks like a startled deer, pupils dilated by the new stream of light pouring into the small room, hand still poised to hit his tambourine, mouth still poised to sing the next lyric.

His eyes are red and puffy and he’s got tear stains running down his cheeks.

The lights from the karaoke machine continue to bounce around the room as they stare at each other in silence and Nie Mingjue ignores the voice in his head that tells him he wasn’t lying when he said “pretty” earlier.

He does listen to the voice that tells him that this is his brother’s friend, though, who probably really needs some food and water right about now.

“Can you stand?”

Speaking breaks whatever trance Jiang Cheng was in as he blinks furiously to adjust his eyes. It doesn’t do anything to curb the confusion. Nie Mingjue can see him trying to mentally put the puzzle together despite none of the pieces fitting.

Especially since Jiang Cheng hadn’t even noticed Nie Mingjue when he paid at the front desk earlier.

Making his way towards the other, Nie Mingjue squats down in front of him, shifting his work bag and offering his back. He throws a light “A-sang asked me to check up on you” over his shoulder for clarity’s sake.

Something must finally click in Jiang Cheng’s mind because he climbs onto Nie Mingjue’s back without further prodding.

He gets a few odd looks as he leaves the building through the employee entrance but other than that, no one complains when he clocks out early.

The walk is quiet.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t speak and Jiang Cheng certainly doesn’t say anything.

He would almost think he had fallen asleep if not for the slight grumble that comes from the other’s stomach, and the weak “sorry” that accompanies it.

Right, food and water.

Locating a nearby convenience store isn’t difficult, not when there’s one on every block, so he deposits Jiang Cheng outside while he goes in to pay.

He thinks he remembers Huaisang complaining about Jiang Cheng’s tastes when drunk, something about coffee milk doesn’t even taste good, and really? A whole-ass sweet potato?

Nie Mingjue doesn’t think too much of it as he picks the items up along with a few other miscellaneous foods and drinks, but looking back, it might come off as a bit weird if someone who is by all means a stranger were to know your exact food preferences.

Or at least that’s the vibe he’s getting from Jiang Cheng as he looks back and forth between the food and Nie Mingjue in confusion.

He eats it anyway.

Nie Mingjue pulls out his phone in the meantime, sends Huaisang some money to take a cab home because he’s obviously not going to be able to pick him up, and sips at one of the drinks he got.

It’s much too sweet for his tastes but it’s better than the soda they have stocked at the karaoke bar. The carbonation always hurts, setting off his nerves and staying much longer than welcomed. He’ll leave the other bottle for Huaisang when he gets home.

It’s the sound of slurping that informs him that Jiang Cheng has finished. His eyes are more focussed now at least, and when he stands there’s no indication he’ll fall.

“I can still carry you if you need,” Nie Mingjue offers anyway, he’s used to it after all.

But with sobriety comes clarity, and with clarity often comes shame, so he’s not surprised by the choked “no thank you” that rushes out of the other’s mouth.

They walk in silence once more, the only difference being what was once halfway to comfortable, is now stifling.

Nie Mingjue can feel anxiety and guilt and self-deprecation radiating off the other in waves. It’s so bad that he's even starting to feel self-conscious.

The clicking of Jiang Cheng’s nails as he plays with them echoes off the walls at a steady pace and Nie Mingjue realizes he doesn’t think he can last the fifteen minutes it will take for them to reach his apartment.

“Celine Dion, huh.” It was the thing that stuck out to him most as he watched Jiang Cheng queue up song after song.

The clicking stops for a moment and Nie Mingjue has to glance over, wondering if his attempt to change the mood worked any. He does not expect the scoff that comes.

“Celine Dion is a legend and an icon, I take no criticism.”

Well then.

Nie Mingjue tries to bite back a smile at the response. Jiang Cheng seems more like himself now than he has all night- or the version of himself that Nie Mingjue has crafted based on stories from Huaisang- and to think it would be because of Celine Dion.

Humming a bit to himself, Nie Mingjue thinks of how many times Jiang Cheng has felt the need to defend himself over something as inconsequential as his taste in music, and it doesn’t sit well with him.

“It wasn’t a criticism,” is what he manages to say after a few long seconds. “I think it’s rather impressive actually, that those are the songs you’ve managed to hit the top of the leader board with.”

And it’s true. Nie Mingjue hasn’t seen someone score a 95 on a Celine Dion song the entire time he’s worked at the house. Although to be fair, not many have even attempted to sing her songs.

“The what?”

“The leader board, it’s posted right when you walk in. By the time I left the front desk your room had taken up seven of the top ten slots.” Nie Mingjue glances over again and Jiang Cheng seems genuinely surprised. He continues, “You must have some serious skill. I only know My Heart Will Go On and A-sang told me I sounded like a cow giving birth.”

Jiang Cheng barks out a startled laugh, looking at him in disbelief. “That can’t be true.”

Oh, but it very much can be. So Nie Mingjue demonstrates.

It’s made worse by the fact that they're walking down a narrow street, the sound echoing off buildings and walls to further enhance the cacophony. It lasts seconds after Nie Mingjue has already finished and Jiang Cheng’s eyes are blown wide. He’s staring down the street as if he can actually see the discordant notes bouncing around.

He has never argued when Huaisang has said that Nie Mingjue is where all things music and art go to die.

“Oh my god.”

Nodding along, Nie Mingjue can’t help but agree.

“Oh my god,” Jiang Cheng repeats, borderline hysterical but still managing to keep it together somehow. Until someone shouts from their window-

“What the fuck was that?”

-and all hope is lost.

Jiang Cheng doubles over, laughter escaping his chest as he clutches onto Nie Mingjue for stability. Even Nie Mingjue finds the timing of it all quite funny, chuckling to himself lightly.

By the time Jiang Cheng actually calms down, there are tears streaming down his face, but it’s contrasted with a flush that comes with delight not despair, and a cheeky smile that brightens his entire face.

Jiang Cheng is wiping his tears, involuntary chuckles making their way back up every few seconds, and still clutching onto Nie Mingjue’s arm for support.

It’s a much better slight than the one he had walked in on. Nie Mingjue decides to make it his mission to see this look as often as possible.

Even if it means he has to embarrass himself here and there.

---

Jiang Cheng does not end up in Nie Huaisang's bed, but that's only because he and Nie Mingjue pass out on the couches after getting through the door. Nie Huaisang has pictures and a smug grin when Nie Mingjue finally wakes up.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you found it a least a bit enjoyable! 

[inquisitoracorn]

Writer Tag Game

Thank you @melisusthewee, @5lazarus, @morganlefaye79 and @noire-pandora for the tags! If anyone else tagged me and I didn’t thank them I’m really sorry, Tumblr is having a tag fit again. 

I’m a bit late but I will tag forward: @musetta3 @drag-on-age @kittynomsdeplume @johaeryslavellan @blarrghe and @another-rogue-trevelyan if you’ve all been tagged already feel free to ignore me or write me in so I can give it a read <3

1.  How many works do you have on AO3?

Six in total, but my WIPs are legion.

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

72,044

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

Why, the smut is first of course!

1. On an Ambassadorial Note (I should have made that Ambassadorian....how did I miss this???????) - the Inquisitor and Dorian exchange letters and the servants find them - 61 

2. What Shouldn’t Be - solavellan angst - 27 

3. Nothing, again - short smutty modern AU pavelyan - 23

4. Two Songs and Three Serpents - my magnum opus, Inquisitor Jonathan Trevelyan’s backstory, my pride and joy, fourth in the ranking at 13 :))))

5. We are here for you - short angsty talk between Trevelyan and Solas - 6

4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not?

Always or almost always. It’s a nice thing to do.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s a tie between What Shouldn’t Be and the fic that didn’t make it into the ranking, Who is the Lamb and Who is the Knife, written after another prompt. The solavellan one is an AU where Solas has torn down the Veil and bitterly remembers all that he’s lost, nothing hopeful about it. The other one is part of a set of ideas I have for a dark!inquisitor AU, where Dorian dies and Trevelyan is on a revenge quest that’s of course ultimately futile. That one is really painful for me and they’re both bitter and hopeless and written when I was very moody :))))

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

The smut :)))) Nothing, again ends kinda cute.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

A crossover would mean my brain should be capable of sticking like glue to TWO fandoms at the same time at least! And it can barely handle the one, so nope :))) I can barely write different setting AUs tbh.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. When I finish Two Songs and Three Serpents, and if it gets around a little more, then I kinda expect to and I wouldn’t be surprised. But the odds of that happening are really small. 

9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?

I have, and I plan to write more :))) I’m not as good at that as most of the ones I read, but I like writing it and it clearly works for some other people too.

10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A couple of years ago I started writing some Vampire The Masquerade fanfic based on a roleplay campaign run by a friend of mine, we both loved one of the characters and decided to write more. Unfortunately we both quickly got busy with other things and never made it very far with writing it. Quite a bit of that character inspired Jonathan though (even the name is recycled from it) so I guess I still channeled that somehow :))

13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That’s like asking my about my favourite song! Is this the moment I reveal to Tumblr that I used to be an enthusiastic wolfstar shipper? Or stucky? I have a thing for friends getting together :))) 

As for DA, it’s definitely any inquisitor/Dorian, the only thing I love more than Dorian is a happy and loved Dorian.

14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Let’s not be discouraging shall we :))))

So far I have one little WIP about the Inquisitor’s shenanigans in the Frostback Basin because I loved JoH, and also one in which Jonathan and Dorian have a small fight and one of the Inquisition scouts takes it upon himself to repair it. Both of them have been moved to the queue because I am fully caught up writing TSTS at the moment. 

15. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told it’s description, and it’s true I can’t stop describing settings, it is sooooo much fun! It’s where most of my creativity is for sure. 

16.  What are you writing weaknesses?

Narrative voice, especially when it comes to emotion and a character’s thought process. It seems to flow much more smoothly for other writers, and sometimes I read something I wrote and it feels a little shallow by comparison. I tend to bury the character’s emotions in little details and pray they translate clearly :))

17.  What are your thoughts one writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love making up words. I’m also bad at it. They sound very awkward.

18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Death Note, when I was 12! I can’t remember the name, my username, or even the website I posted it to. It was never finished, I was 6 chapters in when someone commented that I haven’t posted in a while and that they had been waiting and to whoever posted that I’M SO SORRY but it was really bad :))

I think I deleted it too...

19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Two Songs and Three Serpents. It’s easy when there isn’t much to choose from :))) But it makes up 63k out of those 72k, it’s my best shot at writing I’ve ever made and very dear to me.

[mcknitface]

My top 10 in advance of the final

so. i've finally written and thought about my actual top ten songs going into the final. i've actually also compiled my top 40 and my tops for the semis, but that's a bit late now. i'll do them in advance of next year though!

so, here, with comments, is my top ten for the final

1 - DE DIEPTE - an amazing song, by an amazing artist. i'm british but very into the dutch alt-pop scene (a joke scott and rylan made on tuesday) and when S10 was announced i was so excited. this song is everything i wanted and more - she's changed her style to suit a wider audience, and the da-da-da-da oeh-oeh aa-aa really brings in non dutch speakers, essential for this competition.

2 - MEÐ HÆKKANDI SÓL - wasn't too keen on the first listen (morning of sunday 13th march) but by the evening of the monday i was obsessed. amazing meaning behind the lyrics, and icelandic is such a lovely language to listen to. when this was announced as a qualifier i almost screamed (had to not tho as i was in the queue for a club) as i had prepared for the worst.

3 - LIGHTS OFF - one of the first entries to be released back in december. i had covid at the time, was on day 8 of 10 of isolation, and this buoyed me through the last two days. a great dance bop, the revamp arguably isn't as good but i love the pause before the chorus. she's improved a lot as a singer as well, literally screamed when this qualified, amazing song.

4 - IN CORPORE SANO - watched it, was bemused, watched again, watched again, looked up the lyrics, obsessed. amazing concept, almost performance art, i cannot get enough of this. look up the rest of her triptych, it's amazing. the other songs are called nobl and mekano, and the fact she entered the serbian national selection only to broaden her songs' reach, not intending to win, is iconic.

5 - HOLD ME CLOSER - i don't really have much to say here, it's just a very good song. a powerful chorus? maybe that's what draws me into it and separates it from other ballads for me.

6 - SENTIMENTAI - lithuanian is a beautiful language and it's amazing to finally have a song in it in the final. the older feeling of the song lends it an elegance and from everything that i've seen monika is an icon. i'm mostly excited about the lithuanian, but it's a song that i can't help swaying to. again i was thrilled when this qualified as it was borderline

7 - FULENN - i am in love with this devil-summoning masterpiece. something different from france, and in one of their marginalised langauges, really make this stand out. i particularly like the vibration-esque part of the second chorus, after the "tria' a ra ar c'haoud". great to have some celtic language representation as well, it's a travesty that we've (in the uk) never sent a welsh entry.

8 - TRENULEŢUL - this is another one which came out fairly early. i can't help bopping along to this and i really hope it does well in the final. it's such a jolly song with a serious meaning behind it, and the music video is so fun. not sure what i think of the slight revamp - i will still listen to the original - but i understand why it was revamped for the stage.

9 - SNAP - a non-offensive song with a great staging (that's unaffected by the broken sun). i didn't really pay attention to this until the second rehearsal on youtube, but i really do like it. maybe not something i'll still be listening to in a year, but definitely one i want to see do well.

10 - LLÁMAME - a nice surprise qualifier from thursday. the song definitely works better when you can see it being performed, but nonetheless it's a great song, with great choreo, and we love us some bisexual representation.

in case anyone is interested, my original top ten was the netherlands, iceland, czechia, slovenia, serbia, sweden, latvia, croatia, lithuania and france. semi one was particularly painful - i'd like to have seen thirteen of those songs through (but only seven from semi two)

judge me as you will, and enjoy the final!

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

Something more infinite Chapter 7 [FINAL]. If your last words aren’t “I love you too,” I’m personally gonna go to the afterlife, bring you back and kill you again.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

A/n: Sorry this took literally months to get finished. What a ride it's been. Hope you're all well.

warnings: Oh it's angsty. Descriptions of death, injury and violence.

word count: 2.6K

This was really happening. You have to remind yourself for the third time just tonight, here huddled together with dozens of your former fellow students and friends in the room of requirement. You’d known it was coming, the end of the war. It had to end at some point, and your family had kept up with the portable radio you’d brought with you on the run (you’d taken to wander the surroundings of your tent and have your father relay the information to you, as to avoid listening to the voice of George, which caused a flurry of emotions in you that you simply didn’t have the time or energy for in the freezing English countryside)

Once ‘River’ had started to hint at the coming battle, you’d dug out your old DA coin. You’d grown quite attached to it, as it reminded you of a simpler time, where your biggest concern had been coming up with witty comebacks to George, not how to survive should you be caught by a snatcher or death eater. And when said coin began to heat up in your pocket, in the wee hours of the morning on May 2nd, you knew it. It was happening. The directions on the coin were plain and short:

Get to the Hog’s Head. Seek Aberforth.

You didn’t really feel like you had a choice in the matter, though something tugged at you as you climbed through the portrait hole. George. There was no way he wouldn’t have gotten the call from the DA too. Would he be there? and if he was, would he care that you were? Trying to push your more sentimental thoughts of the ginger to the back of your mind, you focus instead on trying not to fall as you feel your way through the tunnel until there’s a smell of coffee and heat from a fireplace and the murmur of voices greeting you as you reach the room of requirement. Friends greet you, make small talk and embrace you. More people arrive after you, and there’s a nice moment of relieved sighs and laughter as friends speak face to face for the first time in months. It’s quiet but the most genuinely happy most of you have felt in a long time. Finally, resisting the urge to ask for him, you look around to try and spot him.

But he’s not there. One of your friends must have noticed you looking around, for they inform you that him, Fred, Lee and other members of the order won’t be here until later, something had held them up, you don’t hear much through your disappointment, which was silly, you knew that. But a part of you had really hoped to be able to see him before everything goes down.

As Harry, Ron and Hermione arrive with Neville there’s an even bigger wave of emotion going through the room, one big enough to break the silence completely with cheers and applause for the scruffy-looking kids who look more tired and wrung out than anyone their age ever should in your opinion. They ask for your help, all of you, to help them find the Horcruxes. The last pieces of the puzzle.

What are they? They don’t know.

Not good.

Where are they? They don’t know that either.

Really not good.

“We think it’s hidden somewhere in the castle, but that’s all we have to go on, for now, so we’ll just have to search everywhere,” Says Harry, clearly unhappy with the conditions of the hunt himself,

“Well that’s not exactly going to be easy,” Says Seamus,

“No but it won’t be impossible,” counters Ginny, who looks determined. And so you all split up, searching everywhere, you ended up talking to a portrait for possible clues at the hospital wing,

“Well fancy seeing you here,”

You pull out your wand by pure instinct. Months of being on edge have made you somewhat jittery, your fingers knowing the motion of grabbing your wand and pointing it at any unexpected noise all too well.

It’s only when you take in his face, his eyes, the bright red, unmistakable hair that you let your hand fall to your side.

“George,” You say, heart pounding.

And there he is, in the flesh. He looks a little scruffy, very tired (as do you and you really can’t blame him) but he’s there! He’s breathing! And now you’re slapping pathetically at him while tears of rage fill your eyes,

“Ow! Y/n- Hey!” He wrestles himself free from you, holding you at an arm's length,

“Months!” You shriek, “It’s been bloody months since we’ve spoken and that’s what you say?!” Maybe it’s the fatigue or the paranoia or maybe the unresolved business between you but you’re sobbing now, wiping at your face with your sleeves, sure that they only smudge the dirt on your face. He tries to pull you toward him but you jerk away from him, you don’t want him to be soft now, you don’t have time for the conversation you both need to have right now, you remind yourself to pull yourself together, there’s a war going on for Godrick’s sake!

“Don’t worry about me,” you tell him courtly, though your sniffling makes it less credible, his brown eyes are soft as they look you over,

“Just,” you gesture around you, “not now,” he looks confused for a split second, then nods.

“What are you doing?” He asks then and it’s clear in his intonation that he really wants to ask how you’re doing, you pretend you don’t notice that and instead point to the painting,

“We’re searching for the last Horcrux, I’ve been asking the portraits if they know anything,”

“Any luck?” He asks, crossing his arms,

“Nope,” You pucker your lips in annoyance,

“Would you like some help?” He asks, a ghost of the sly smile that’s haunted you for months sneaking onto his lips, You sigh,

“As much as it pains me, yes, George, I could use your help,”

He looks far too pleased with that response, you think to yourself as he begins to chat with a portrait further down the hall.

Asking the portraits leads you nowhere, and so you end up back in the room of requirement along with several others who’ve had no such luck either.

You and George wait together while people file into the room announcing that they’ve not found anything.

“So, about that night,” He begins, though he halts at the look you shoot him, his brows raise, “not yet?”

You gesture around, “does it look like the war is over yet?”

“Well, we don’t know how long that will take,” He counters, “So I think we should talk about it now before it’s too late,” You roll your eyes, you’d once heard him use a similar excuse to chat up a girl at a party once, “What if the world ends tomorrow?” it hadn’t worked then, and it wasn’t working now,

“I’d rather we don’t, George,” You say,

“Why not?” He asks, grabbing your attention with the sudden change of tone in his voice, which is now quiet but demanding, “Are you so against us being happy together? Really?”

“Yes, I am,” You say, feeling heat rise to your cheeks,

“Why?” He demands,

“Because, George, we don’t do happy, we’ve hated each other for years, I don’t think one shag is going to change the fact that we haven’t been compatible for nearly a decade,” you say,

“Oh I wouldn’t say we weren’t compatible,” he grumbles, and when you’re about to ask what the hell that’s supposed to mean there’s a voice booming through the room announcing that you all need to come to the great hall,

“Something’s happening!”

The next moments are difficult to place, hazy through the adrenaline fog that fills your body and brain, the great hall, Snape leaving, Voldemort’s voice echoing through the halls like an angry phantom haunting the castle’s inhabitants, the sullen look you share with George as it becomes clear to all present: This ends tonight, and it’s not going to be pretty.

Somehow George stays by your side as the fighting starts, you don’t know how he manages to keep track of you. You move at a fast pace from place to place, hoping it will help you stay alive but somehow there’s never a moment where you’re caught in a fight where George isn’t there, it’s first later that you realise it’s because he knows you, he knows all your routes through the castle.

You shoot a jinx at a death eater, paralyzing him before you,

“Nice one,” he says,

You allow a quick smile at him, “thanks,” then as if on queue, a sharp pain hits your chest, and you fall to the ground, the pain pounds and seems to vibrate inside you, sending waves of pain out through your limbs like an electric current. From the cold stone floors of the corridor you used to wander so often as a child, you hear the echoes of shouts and the sound of curses and spells being thrown through the air, the impact of them hitting flesh and the impact of bodies hitting the ground,

Then he’s by your side. You’re laying hopelessly and it hurts, even more, to see his expression as he examines your body, a look of exasperation on his face. He grabs your hand, and places his other hand behind your back, pulling you closer to him. You’re sure the battle isn’t over but somehow it’s quiet in the corridor there, with just you and him together, the same you had been for years and years, the thoughts of yours and his rivalry only makes the tears flow easier,

“I really wish I wasn’t crying,” you say behind gritted teeth, “I want you to remember me as the cool person I was, the one who could fully kick your ass not... this,” you gesture vaguely down your body. George lets out a quiet laugh as a tear trickles down his face leaving a trail of clean skin through his sooted and dust-covered face,

“oh, not you too,” you say as more warm tears spill out down your cheeks, they tickle your ears and caress your hair and you don’t try to stop them anymore, you find you somehow don’t have the power to fight them, which sends a wave of anxiety through you. Your breath hitches and you gasp for air, trying desperately to keep your breathing steady, but it feels as if someone’s put a foot on your chest letting it bear more and more of their weight, and George’s eyes widen,

“Oh no, you don’t get to die on me, not now, not like this,” he says, grabbing at your body as if hoping to find a cure hidden somewhere, “Y/n, I mean it, don’t-” his voice breaks off and he bites his lip hard, he doesn’t even sense how hard until he tastes his own blood,

“Don’t leave me,” if you weren’t already crying the sound of his voice sounding so fragile and desperate and almost childlike certainly would have you bawling by now but you’re more occupied with your eyes which insist on closing despite you wanting to look George in the eye more than anything,

“It can’t end like this,” he says, pleading to no one in particular, “it’s not supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to be here always, we were supposed to be together,” he says, sniffling to contain the sobs that are aching to burst from his chest, you muster a small smile at the dark blob with ginger hair in front of you, eyes half-closed,

“Gee, Weasley, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you love me or something,” you don’t recognise the wispy voice that speaks but you know the teasing intonation is your own,

“I do,” he says, you feel a large hand tighten on your shoulder as he pulls you even closer to him, “I love you so bloody much that you can’t even fathom it,” now he sobs as the reality of the situation settles on him. Your lip quivers somewhat uncontrollably, and you want to reach up and touch his face because of course, this stupid boy loves you, just like you love him, even if he’s also your worst nightmare he’s yours nevertheless, and you wouldn’t want to live a day without him annoying you endlessly. Yes. That’s what your relationship is supposed to be: endless. Endless teasing, but just beneath it a more infinite affection, a love as endless as your bickering.

“Do you? that’s funny,” you say, your head falls back onto his arm. You can’t see anymore, something tucks at your navel, something unlike like how apparating tucks at you, where it pulls you in hastily, this feeling gropes at your very core, beckons you to come with its long fingers, seducing you into its darkness. Infinite darkness. Weren’t you just thinking about something infinite? a loud, almost animal cry echoes through the dark to you and you free yourself from the tugging feeling just enough to feel George’s chest shake as he weeps,

“Because I love you too.” You say before you succumb and dive into oblivion.

***

The first thing you hear is a beep. Then another. Again. Beep. Beep. Beep. it speeds up as you think to yourself just how irritating that beep is. Just like the darkness tugged you into itself, it seems to have spat you out again. No matter how much you long to escape the beeping and snuggle back into the vast darkness, you find yourself just staring at your own eyelids instead. Much less interesting darkness indeed. You open them, blinking a few times before you realise that you’re in a hospital, which explains the beeping but doesn’t make it any less annoying.

“You’re awake,” the sound of his voice startles you. You lock eyes. Yours wide in shock, his are swollen and tired. You let yourself rest back onto your pillow with a sigh, closing your eyes again to shield them from the stark hospital lighting,

“You always were sharp, George,” you say, your voice grainy and raw. Speaking brings tears to your eyes and you realise how thirsty you are. You feel the mattress dip under his weight as he sits down on the side of your bed. You feel his fingers move a piece of hair away from your face and most unusually, you don’t slap his hands away or scowl at him. You smile. When you do open your eyes he’s smiling at you too, and you take in this different version of George. This George is not young, bursting with energy with a gleam in his eyes. This George is older, somehow aged beyond his 23 years of age, with ginger stubble on his unshaven, pale face, his eyes are dark and covered by a shadow of exhaust. His hair is ruffled and messy as if he’s run several hands through it. You long to touch it, to touch him. You have hardly touched him in an affectionate manner and it’s all too exciting,

“You look like shit, Weasley,” you say, smirking. He looks shocked for a split second before a ghost of his old grin shapes itself on his face,

“And I was just about to offer a truce,” he says,

You stick out your tongue at him, “I shall never stand down, you know that by now,” he leans in, and just before your lips meet, he whispers, “Believe me, I know.”

_____________________________________________________________

taglist: @schlongbottom-neville @cardboardbenmazzello @unseensilver @mochamiilk @quie-pls @sarcasticalphaofthelooserspack

[mocweepe]

tagges by @irlteddycore , tyy💚💚💚‼

1. why did you choose your url?

i am autistic n i used 2 say i was autisming (positive connotation) when i was infodumping, stimming, n jus otherwise displaying common autistic behaviors. it soumded cool n being autistic iz fucking obviously an important part of my identoty so i said. fuck it!

2. any side blogs?

SO many, like 16ish? not gonna list em all but some are:

@qpeople - current events, history, mutual aid, etc.

@bahavah - lovecore blog

@tomurasheart - BNHA

@foresightwithglasses - (‼inaccessible‼) posts i tink could be helpful 4 my future self, nonmutuals do not follow!

and dis blog iz a sideblog!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

ER... since 6th grade sooo... 6 years????? dis accs coming up 2 only 2 years old doh, iz my second.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don tink i do. ive already 4gotten.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

last acc felt too cluttered, i wanted a bajillion sideblogs 2 organize stuff. dis blog specifically was og a trendercore sb, but it was when da aes jus started n dere wasn a lot of content so it quickly jus became a "me" space (since my mains aes)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

my icon was a black n white photo of a goth 4 a long time n i jus decided 2 stick w da theme when i change it bc of cross imagery

7. why did you choose your header?

i was spamton themed 4 octoberish n i haven bothered changing it yet. besides i still like da lil guy :]

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Probably da villain4villain 1 -_-

9. how many mutuals do you have?

an Amount 4 sure. uh if i had 2 guess probably over 10 but less dan 20.

10. how many followers do you have?

none T_T /j

11. how many people do you follow?

241

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yeap

13. how often do you use tumblr every day?

O_O

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

once. some1 was being a dipshit on a friends post n i argued w dem. dey jus kept saying sum dumb shit till dey blocked me

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

da exact phrase "u need 2 rb dis" izn too bad depending in context but almost ne other related phrase iz so shitty. when folks say shit like "weird how no1s talking abt xyz when we were talking abt abc jus a month ago ://" and ESP "i see u not rbbing dis" make me go rabid like i will kill u.

da first iz usually some1 comparing tragedies or injustices like..... which iz jus a total slap in da face 2 da victims of da event deyre putting down, and da 2nd iz noting more dan a blatant lie dat can send ppl into paranoia!!!!!!!! like UGH dey infuriate me sm. jus make ur post w/o literally causing harm. it cannot be dat damn hard.

16. do you like tag games?

yes!!!! deyre always either questionares (LOVE talking abt myself) or picrews, both of which r usually fun. i don do all of dem (sum picrews rnt suited well 4 me or da post iz innaccessible so i jus don interact w it, and sum questionnaires jus require more effort dan i wana put in. esp shuffle song 1s cuz i can only do sm dere.)

only ting iz, i don generally tag ppl. i don like it, it makes me anxious LOL. but if ne1 Does like being tagged in dese games den let me know 👀👀 ill write ur url down n tag u from now on💚💚💚‼‼‼

17. do you like ask games?

YES 100% i love when ppl send me asks n stuff :]

18. which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

kurt and soda i know r sort of. i have several others who've made a few popular posts, so dey might be but idk lol i don like. give a shit yk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

neope. a few friend 1s (as in mutuals i wana be friends w) but i don have da energy needed 4 da effort 2 make new friends rn :( hopefully soon!!!!!!

if ne1 wants 2 participate, consider urself tagged!

[lokisasylum]

Check In Tag!

Tagged by : @parkandblues (thanks, hun  🦋)

1. Why did you choose your url?

“lokisasylum”... I think i’ve explained this a lot, but “Loki” is a nickname I was given since my school days because I was a hardcore trickster & would get away with anything and everything. I also recall being VERY persuasive when caught until I got off the hook. While “Asylum” comes from an album by Disturbed (one of the bests I own).

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them?

Yep, @arsenicbutterfly which is like an aesthethic/anime/cyberpunk/steampunk/grunge blog, and I also have @lokirasengan-fc which I originally created with the intention of moving all my fanart/artwork (also promote my Society6 & Redbubble shops) to in order to separate my main blog for BTS news/post and that one for artwork but none of my mutuals really followed me on it so its basically a dead blog >_>

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

I think since 2010 which is the same year the (Disturbed) “Asylum” album came out.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t know, never really thought about it.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Hmm... I remember 2009-2010 to be a very chaotic years.

- the Death Note fandom went up in flames due to the MILLIONS of cases of cyber bullying (some ending in s**cide). I remember being part of this RP group within the fandom that I ended up quitting when I got admitted into Graduate School and because 2 of the oldest members ended up being actual PSYCHOS. (Which is why I also quitted roleplaying)

- Deviantart was rumored to either be shutting down or heading into a worse fate since they started censoring Mature Art/Literature/Fanfics (I remember all the artists who had their 20something chaptered fics and comics OBLITERATED off the site without a reason). So many people left DA for other blogs and I remember thinking the same, that I needed to migrate elsewhere. I tried 2 new social medias that eventually disappeared with less than a year of existence and then there was tumblr with had apparently been created for that very purpose (as a refuge for artists & people in general who were disappointed or got screwed over by the system). Which is funny because tumblr ended up the same way...

I still kept both my DA accounts active and I still post ALL of my artwork/photography there.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

I usually changed my icon frequently, but this recent/current icon is special to me, because it was made as a tattoo design for my Jikook Vampire fic (Forever, You Said) of a butterfly trapped between a Full Moon/New Moon. Its a matching tattoo between jikook (Jimin’s is a yellow butterfly inside a new moon, while JK’s is a blue butterfly inside a full moon). Meant to symbolize how both existed in the same timeline separated by two worlds with Jimin being a vampire and Jungkook being human, but their lives got intertwined since their first meeting.   

7. Why did you choose your header?

[I legit had to go back and check what my header was ‘cause i forgot]

Because I mean... Its Park Motherfucking Jimin.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Like... this month? I think its the post about BTS as Flower Spirits from the HYBE museum.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Few but I love them (same)

10. How many followers do you have?

635... damn, when did that happened?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

11. How many people do you follow?

Like 14ish? Most of them were fanartists I really admired, but sadly most of them aren’t active or left for Twitter cause people kept coming to tumblr to steal their art and post it on twitter/instagram. So they moved to twitter in order to have some “control” over their works, but now people steal their art from Twitter and come to post it on Tumblr 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

And this is why I still post most of my art on Deviantart.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I... I dunno, have I? Oo

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

24hrs/7 days a week, I never really log out of tumblr. So I just wake up, eat breakfast/lunch (whatever’s available at 11am), do chores around the house, make sure my fam’s healthy, fed and comfy before I jump back into tumblr where I kill off most of the day and night. If I’m not here I’m on deviantart or Ao3.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I usually avoid going to other blogs to argue per se because most of these blogs that shitpost for the sake of creating conflict are very young and very ignorant. They never see reason/logic even when you slap ‘em across the face with receipts. So I don’t bother.

HOWEVER, ain’t afraid to calling people out through my own posts from time to time without the need to name names. If it fits, it ships and if you offended that’s a YOU problem.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I avoid them as much as possible. I’m like Taehyung on that note, I’m the type of person that if you try to force me to do something and I see no benefit (for me) in it? I won’t do it.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes, they’re fun and break the monotony.

17. Do you like ask games?

I do... but no one ever interacts with me for them 🙃

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Eehh.. maybe @utopiajeon , @debrenner , @aikimei

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

I mean I love them and think they’re awesome people, but I also think of them as the children I don’t plan on having in the future. LOL

20. Tags?

@utopiajeon @doctorcerberus  @i-like-plain-rice @corkytheguar   anyone who wants to do it!🌸

[ratsetflummi]

tagged by @mordcore​ thank you

1. Why did you choose your url?

oh, boy long story. when i made my fanfic account in 2011, i got stuck on what username i should use, so i spent a day ruminating on it. that was when i was drinking coffee every day before school even though it really didn't sit well with me. so i was sitting in class, vibrating, and i was thinking to myself that i was being a nervous little bouncy ball, and hey, that works as a username, except that was too long, so i had to shorten it to little bouncy ball, but also i'm german and it was a german website, so i went with kleiner gummiflummi. but these days even that is too long for most websites, so i recently workshopped it with a friend. she suggested ratzefummel, which is a colloquial term of an eraser, which i'm pretty sure she just suggested to annoy our anglophone friends. except ratzefummel is taken on a lot of websites, and i kinda wanted to keep part of my old name, so i mixed them, and now it's ratzeflummi

2. Any side blogs?

technically i have like 12, but some of them are group blogs, and a lot of them are either empty or have like two posts, but these are the ones that i actually use(d): podcast fandoms: @aaand-you-float-really-good queer stuff: @quiet-queer-questgiver achievement hunter: @gaychievementhunter the penumbra podcast: @penumbrasmooches detroit become human: @gavino-reed

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

don't make me think about this. i've been on tumblr almost every day for eight and a half years

4. Do you have a queue tag?

nope, because pretty much everything would have that tag on it. i honestly don't know why people use queue tags, they seem extremely pointless to me

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

because a fanfic author i liked linked to her tumblr in her fanfic profile, and tumblr wouldn't let me look at her blog without making a blog of my own

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it is my cat. i used to have fandom characters as my icon, but then i kinda fell out of fandoms altogther and kinda hopped around between different fandoms every couple weeks, so i switched to something neutral that i could just keep. i don't know why i specifically went for my cat. that was just something i had saved on my pc

7. Why did you choose your header?

a few months ago there was discourse about minors thinking that you must list as much information about yourself as possible, and how it's important to have your age in your bio, so minors can tell at one glance if you're safe to talk to. so i put in my bio that i am 12, and i put in my carrrd that i am 54 (not that anyone ever looked at that), and i picked my header to go with that, because people can fucking lie on the internet. if someone means you harm then they are probably telling you any lie necessary to make sure they reach their goal

8. What's your post with the most notes?

i kinda went on a purging spree two years ago, so now a lot of my high note count posts aren't linked to my blog anymore, which makes it really hard to find them (whoops. didn't even do that on purpose) across all blogs, my podcast sideblog has a post with 1500 notes, which is an audio post where i edited a bit from jonny sims' bloodborne stream together with a bit from the magnus archives to make it sound like the stuffy spooky librarian is flirting with a cat on main i have almost 400 notes on a post whining about how much the loki series sucks, followed by a 360 note post about bernd das brot

9. How many mutuals do you have?

15.

10. How many followers do you have?

198 (but i also went on a bit of a purge there and softblocked any blog that hasn't posted in the last year, because dead blogs don't really count as followers to me)

11. How many people do you follow?

87 currently, although that number fluctuates between 50 and 150

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

oh yes, almost certainly. i couldn't think of any of them off the top of my head, but surely i did

13. How often do you use Tumblr everday?

several hours. i usually scroll back down to where i left off the night before

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

not really? usually when someone's being a bitch i just block them. but people don't usually come at me because i mostly keep quiet

15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

i will go higher up in the reblog chain to avoid "you need to reblog this" comments. if it's part of the main post then i will avoid reblogging it altogether

16. Do you like tag games?

yes, kinda. the only problem is that they always want me to tag people in them, and 1) i don't know anyone, and 2) most of my mutuals are mutuals with each other, so all the people i could tag are usually already tagged in the post that i'm tagged in

17. Do you like ask games?

yes

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

risu, unfortunately for him

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

yes, i've had a big ol' crush on lock for well over a year now,and i have told them this before

aha, for once i was not tagged by the squad, so therefore i can tag the squad @thisfairytalegonebad @dappercyborg @porcelainbluejay @supericelight @sniddies-snake-tiddies @chaotic-carnifex @agentduckorico @eroticcannibal @enraged-fangirl-and-co