#i have one more doodle in mind bear with me guys

[skyartworkzzz]

How would your narilamb shitten look like?

Also can we get Webber design? He always was a honorary shitten to me, love the freaky little guy and lamb would definitely adopt him

WELL AT LAST I FIND MYSELF FORCED TO ENTERTAIN THE IDEA OF A SHITTEN ASUDNAMSDLKD

Here chu go!

I doodled them for funsies a while while WHILE back for an ask but actually liked the design so now we have a more fleshed out version yall are very welcome USNSMAKDD

Anyways this is Azzy u cannot tell whether hes a menace or not until they do smtng Hes a sweetheart to their parents tho and they love him very much <3

AS FOR WEBBER I do agree he is an Honorary Shitten LMAO

Heres my version of him! :D

TRIED BASING HIM ON HIS DST'S Counterpart so heres a few headcanons under the cut!

- I like to think that he refers to himself as we/us cuz of the lil spider friends that follow him around at all times - He loves hanging around adults the most and tries to be as helpful as he can to them on their duties! - Despite willing to help others, Webber may sometimes cause troubles for stealing things to build strange machineries with or simply to try and- eat them. Hes quite the hungry lil fella - Speaks in an ancient language which only Shamura is fluent in, so not many are able to understand him (aside from Lamb, who has mind reading powers). He is being taught sign language for this reason - If it ever comes to this scenario and Webber finds himself in the woods, I like to think that he would befriend the spider monsters and play with them. So its Lambert frantically looking around for Webber and finding him hanging upside down at Silk Cradle while laughing with his new monster-spider friends xD - He hangs around the cemetery sometimes to go bone-hunting with his lil spiders and also to make some company to Hermer (my undertaker, the bear yall see in the doodles ILL FINISH HIS DESIGN EVENTUALLY-)

Hopefully one day Ill show how he came to be at the cult, I like to think it was a total accident LMAO

OH and he would definitely be friends with Azzy when older, I imagine them as siblings of sorts teehee <3

[keylee]

After lots of hard work and a lot of consideration, may I present to you the rewritten version of my AU!

This sums up a lot of what it’s about (very fluffy but also angsty), and it’s had a lot of changes! Let me know what you think! Details will be below as well. ^w^

Now that the story/rough idea of the plot is out of the way, here’s some doodles.

Also the reason why he’s always seen drooling is due to when he first started panicking near the start of those three years (after Kris and their friends vanished) and started thrashing around in the strings, which got him completely tangled up, including some strings wrapping around his throat and causing damage (hence the drool and struggle to speak, though he mostly can’t speak because of the corruption and memory loss).

More details I feel I need to mention are:

If you like this AU and want to see more of it, feel free to ask questions here on this post or in my ask box, I’m happy to answer anything! :D

If you feel that the premise of my AU is similar to yours or someone else’s, please keep in mind that I did not copy directly off of anyone, but took inspiration from the Spamton/Deltarune/Addison fan community as a whole. If you find some things in this to be similar to another artist or writer please keep in mind that it is not intentional, I read a lot of Deltarune fanfiction and I frequent on Tumblr so it all just blurs together in my brain LOL. :’)

The Addison’s names in my AU are as follows:

Pink Addison = Link

Blue Addison = Reen

Orange Addison = Mac

Yellow Addison = Flash

Spamton NEO is very large in this AU (as you can see in the doodles), and though I believe I mentioned him being 10ft in an earlier post about this AU (before I had changed the story), I’m not too certain on exact heights and scaling just yet, bear with me. ;v;

ONE MORE THING!!

I really need help with naming this AU/Version of Spamton, whatever you want to call it, so if you have any ideas please let me know! ^^

Anyway, I’d love to hear feedback! I hope you guys like it!

[arthvrmvrgan]

Arthur Morgan x Male!Reader Hcs

Hey!! I wanted to make another hc list cuz the last one did so well! I made this an x male!reader because as a gay trans guy, there really isn’t too much when it comes to male readers. I just wanna make other people who feel the same and myself feel happy and represented!

Also to add Arthur is autistic in this

Warnings: Mention of vomit

Though he maybe aversive to touch with others, arthur is SUCH a cuddle bug with his partner. When they first start out he’s shy and will hold your hand or wrap his arm around your shoulders.

but once it’s long term arthur gives you big bear hugs, hands around your waist, holding you close by the fire, and of course those soft kisses <3

When he’s drunk, he pulls you onto his lap, smothers your face in kisses, and yells about how much he loves you.

Arthur also gets shy when it comes to talking about his interests. If you mention something like drawing or horses, he’d make a small comment or addition to the conversation. But once he’s comfortable enough, he’ll infodump for hours about horses to you!

Just hold him close, let his head rest on your chest while you pet his hair and he infodumps, and he’s in heaven!

Some pet names he’d call you would include: “Darlin, Sweetheart, My prince, My man, Hun, and Sunshine” :3 When you call him any pet name, his heart melts and his legs feel like jelly

He loves giving and receiving praise! He’ll whisper in your ear “good boy” just to mess with you cuz he know it makes you BLUSH! But he’ll also be like “atta boy!” or “yup, that’s my boy.”

The first time you praised him, it felt really odd for him. He hadn’t been praised like that ever since he’d been with Mary. It felt so foreign but so…good.

His big ol’ heart skips a beat when you tell him how proud you are of him, or how he looks so handsome in that new shirt you got him. He feels like the happiest man on earth

Now unfortunately, times weren’t as accepting as they are now. You and Arthur knew it had to be kept secret for fear of what might happen. You two don’t feel any embarrassment at all, just a need for a safety. The gang knows about you two, most of them accepting you with welcome arms!

You also help Arthur out more with errands, jobs, and chores. Ever since an incident were Arthur worked his way up to illness like vomiting, you’ve made it your duty to lay off the weight on Arthur’s shoulders.

If he needs help with the hay bales, you’ll be right next to him holding one. If he’s going out on a stage job from alden, you ask if you can tag along!

Arthur has gotten better with accepting help or rest, but not so much asking for it. You still encourage Arthur to request help if he needs it, and how he’s not weak for doing so.

There have even been times where you’d yell at Dutch and Strauss to leave Arthur be for a bit.

He’ll sometimes doodle little drawings of you in his journal as well as writing lovey dovey passages about you and putting “A<3Y/N” with a big heart too. He’ll even just doodle random hearts while spacing out and thinking about you..

He gets so excited to see you, even if you can’t tell. The way his eyes light up like a big puppy dog’s as he speed walks over to your horse to greet you and give you a welcome back kiss

He also penguin pebbles and finds random stuff that reminds him of you!! Whether it be a cigarette card, a flower, or even some artifact or object he found…he WILL give it to you!

That’s all for now! If y’all wanna send in your arthur or just any other rdr hcs, feel free! I also wouldnt mind writing more arthur hcs so please feel free to send me rqs!

[sofasoap]

Little first date

Pairing: Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x F!Reader

Summary: Johnny take his bonnie out for their first date, also meet the people who are important to his life.

Warning :T-M rating. All round fluff. talk of moments of insecurity.

Part 8 of Little Bear series

Masterlist

Should you? Or should you not? 

Picking up and putting down the piece of napkin in front of you, you keep changing your mind.

Gosh, why am I so indecisive?? Surely there is nothing to lose here. 

Other than my own pride.

You let out a desperate moan as you buried your face into the pillow. Thinking back to the night you met the Mohawk…. John MacTavish;

“No pressure bonnie.” as he grabs one of the napkins and asks for a pen from the bartender, he quickly scribbles down some numbers and a little doodle of bar of soap beside it and pushes it towards you. “Here’s my number, text me or ring me when you are ready. I’ll leave it in your hand.” 

He seems nice enough. Great sense of humour, handsome ( even with a strange mohawk. Is he trying to imitate Mr T? You wondered.) and those strong arm muscles… the slight chest hair that was peeking through the gap of his shirt when you spotted his dog tag…..

Ah stuff this. Why not? You always think you need to step out of your comfort zone. And this is another great chance to do it, isn’t it?

Making up your mind, you carefully thinking up of what to say, texted him and pressed send before your nerve got the better of you. 

You nearly jumped out of the skin when your phone went off not even a minute later after sending the text, you scramble forward to try to pick it up, nearly dropping it in the process.

“Heeellllo??” cursing yourself as your voice squeaked with nerve, you cough a bit and tried again, “Hello??”

A cheerful voice calls out your name, “I've been waiting for you!” Johnny chuckled, “So..you still keen to go out on a date with me?” 

“Um. Sure. I think so? If, if you are up for it??” you replied with uncertainty. 

And this is how you ended up at the pub, thirty minutes earlier than the agreed time, fretting all day over what you were going to wear, make up or not, should you walk? Should you call for a taxi, what should you order for food, what to talk about so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself?

This is all new to you. Never has someone asked you out before. Nor flirt with you. 

You have never gone on a date before.

“You alright there bonnie? I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.” steadying you with his strong arm, he greets you with his flashing smile. “You look beautiful tonight, by the way,” he added softly. 

You felt a light tap on your shoulder, dragging you out from your little swirl of panic whirlpool. Turning your head over your shoulder, there you see Johnny, dressed in tight fitting jeans, simple dress shirt and dark leather jacket. 

You feel your cheek burning hot, can this guy get any more handsome?  You stood up from your stool clumsily, nearly tripping over in the process, if his reflex wasn’t quick enough to catch you. 

He waved his hands dismissively, “They are getting here a little bit later, citing not wanting to disturb our date.” Pull out the stool slightly and urge you to sit down again, “ We can worry about them later. So, what would you like to drink? Food? Any preferences?”

“You. you look. Um, very nice too.” Oh, why are you so tongue tied? Wrangling your hands together,  you quietly replied, “No, I didn’t wait too long. So, Um. Where are the others?” You half wished his friends and sister would arrive soon, so you wouldn’t have to face him alone, but the other side of you is nervous to meet a new hoard of people all in one go , and wanting to spend a bit of time with him. Ah, that conflict of mind and emotion.

Sensing your nervousness, he gently eases you into conversation by asking simple questions about yourself, hanging onto every word you say, like each of them with great importance, asking all the right questions when you mention anything that he doesn’t quite understand. 

He only started talking about himself after you are slightly relaxed enough to ask what he does during time off, his hobby ( you found out he is a huge football fan, even played as a goalkeeper in local clubs for a while until work got too busy.) his family, his younger sister Mini, who he speaks fondly of and the all sort of mischiefs they get up to when they were younger. 

You nearly choked on your beer as you laughed with all the stories. “Sounds like you two had quite an adventurous and happy childhood.” 

“Funny enough, I was the wild one when we were younger, and she was the one who had me on a leash, now it’s the total opposite.”  he chuckled. Taking a sip of the beer, you see a twinkle in his eyes, “My parents would have to rebuild the barn countless times if it wasn’t for her stopping me setting it on fire.” putting his glass down, he stares at you softly with his steel-blue eyes, “You have a beautiful laugh, bonnie. Has anyone ever told you that?”

For the second time tonight, you think your face is going to combust with all the heat creeping up towards it. Looking down at your plate of dessert, pushing the chocolate fudge around with your fork, trying to think of a reply.

Before you can come up with something, you saw a hand slapping of Johnny’s back, making him spill his drink.

“Hello! You must be the unlucky lady that has to put up with this man here, " Johnny growled as you chuckle nervously, "Kyle Garrick, but you can call me Gaz.” Holding out his hand to shake after you introduced yourself, he smirked as he point towards your date,

A dark skinned man with a wide smile appeared.

“Oy Gaz! Watch it!!” Johnny complained, but there’s a playful smile on his face. He stood up and gave the man, Gaz, a quick hug, before turning back towards you.

“You know how excited he was when he got your text and after he got off the phone with you? He was practically dancing around the office and shouting for joy. Price, our captain, had to ask Simon to restrain him.” 

“Shut ..shut up Gaz, don’t give all my secrets away…. “ Stuttering and going a bit shy, Johnny elbowed Gaz in the stomach. 

“Well, he was telling the truth.” Another voice, deep and husky, piped up. Followed by a woman’s light giggle. 

“Where is Captain?” Johnny asked. Gaz shook his head, “He had to go home. He sent his apology to you and your lovely date, saying he would meet you next time.” 

“Hi, I’m this bampot’s sister, everyone calls me Mini.” her broad smile reminds you of Johnny’s own, you can really see the family resemblance there.

The Man right beside her, who seems to have a permanent frown plastered between his brows and a black surgical mask on, quietly introduced himself as Simon was a complete opposite to the rest of the group. This must be Ghost, who Johnny previously mentioned before. He doesn’t seem like the type of person that cracks jokes? You wondered. 

Oh, there’s next time again. Everyone seems to be so confident there will be a next time!

As the evening draws to a close, you bid goodbye to the group and with promises of future meet ups, Johnny offers to walk you home. 

The rest of the evening was spent in good company. They welcome you with open arms, Gaz and Mini taking turns to spill Johnny’s secrets and embarrassing stories. Simon even cracked a joke in between.

“That means he likes you.” Johnny whispered in your ear. “He doesn’t usually talk at all in front of strangers.

Even though it’s already springtime, there was still a bit of a bite to the evening breeze. You shivered as the wind started to pick up. 

Suddenly you see a hand in front of you, you look up, Johnny offers you his hand, silently asking with his eyes. You hesitated for a split second extending your hand, with him gently wrapping it with his large, callous but warm hand. He shifted his body slightly, blocking the wind out for you. 

Two of you slowly stroll towards your flat in comfortable silence.

“Thank you for the lovely evening.” looking up at him, as two of you came to a stop in front of your place. You feel a slight emptiness in your heart, as you realise the date has come to an end. Johnny still holding your hands in his, caressing the knuckles softly with his thumbs.

“Can I kiss you, bonnie?” he whispered softly, asking for permission. 

You only snapped back into sense after he slowly broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. Sliding your hand down towards his chest, feeling his thumping heart.

You nodded your head shyly, body trembling slightly with anticipation. Bringing his hands up, he gently cups your face with his hands, leaning down, his lips hovering over yours for a few seconds, before closing the gap.

Oh, how you feel your body is going to melt into a puddle. Eyes fluttering to a close, your arms come up around his neck, pulling him down further, trying to make your body closer to his as much as possible.

“.. That was my first kiss…. “ you softly blurted out, making a confession. You don’t want this moment to end. Never have you felt such an overwhelming sense of emotion towards anyone else. Is this what falling in love feels like?

Feeling his arm around you, tightening his embrace, he took in a shaky breath before speaking.

“Well, I am very honoured to be your first.” he whispered softly into your ear. “And I hope this will be one of the many firsts that is yet to come.”

You knew you were a goner right there and then.

A/N: This actually went out a little bit longer than expected. oops. Word vomited too much sorry. was half watching Woman world cup final and half writing.

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

Tag list:

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@floral-force @okayyadriana @deadbranch @cumikering @siilvan

@random-thot-generator

@random0lover @devcica @jynxmirage @nrdmssgs @glitterypirateduck @roosterr @brewed-pangolin @groguspicklejar

@johfaam @alverdekote @okamimarta @thedevillovesflowers

@liyanahelena @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot

[oblivionsdream]

Hey @oblivionsdream !

I have 2 questions - bear with me…

As you know, I love your work, but have only just recently started actively engaging with it.

I actually first came across you and your Jester x knight OC’s at least a year or two ago, when a fellow DinLuke shipper tagged it with #dinluke, so it showed up on my feed. If you aren’t into Star Wars and are unfamiliar with it - that’s the romantic pairing between Din Djarin (the Mandalorian) and Luke Skywalker.

For a while, I actually thought that it was a medieval DinLuke au because there are quite a few fanarts exploring that ship in different universes (including ours) and different timelines, etc.

One of the things that lent credence to this idea was the fact that the king looks so much like the Jedi, Quinlan Vos.

The characters do also closely match the personalities that a lot of the fandom have collectively given Din and Luke on tumblr - like Luke actually being a feral mischievous gremlin underneath his serene Jedi facade, and Din actually being the more composed (and often lovingly exasperated) of the two.

It was a surprise when I looked more into it and realised that they are original characters, completely unrelated to DinLuke and Star Wars as a whole.

So I guess I’m just curious what was the inspiration behind the Jingly Menace and his steadfast, taciturn knight? Was it a song or a meme or just watching a medieval show and during a scene with a jester, you had a sudden burst of creative juices like “Eureka! Pretty jester x hot knight!”

Sorry if you’ve already answered this and I’ve just missed it while scrolling through your page.

My other question (this I know has been queried to JM himself but he nervously evaded the question) when JM is shown crying in one of the first pictures you posted of him, what was the actual reason that you had in mind behind it? Was it just simply because his attempts to get the hot mysterious knights attention had thus far been unsuccessful (from his perspective anyway) and he succumbed to a private moment of vulnerability?

Every time I look at it, I’m dying to know!

Anyway, love you! Hope the JM comic is still on the horizon at some point - coz I would buy and read the crap out of it!

Hey there!

I honestly had no idea what DinLuke is though I've seen the tags. My knowledge of Star Wars comes from whatever I have absorbed against my will being online and when my best friend made me watch the prequels a few years ago 😂

So Jester solely came to be because I've loved jesters for many years at this point. I just find them fun but there's never enough content for them out there so I just wanted to make my own oc. I also just love trickster characters- anything fae like or I always adored Loki in Norse mythology so he's very based into those kind of mischievous vibes and humor.

Augustine was purely accidental. I saw some Tumblr post about a knight or maybe it was about a jester and a knight (I no longer remember) so I thought it would be funny to doodle Jester with a random knight being a menace asking him about his big sword. Augustine was never supposed to be a character. But then I just kept coming up with other ideas for Jester and this random knight whose face he never saw and whelp here we are.

Soooo the crying. It was definitely a private moment no one else was supposed to witness. Part of something I find interesting with playing with Jester's character is the idea that sometimes the seemingly happiest and funniest people are also the saddest but they just cover it up with a smile. His backstory before coming to the castle is still something that affects him but also he feels lonely at court. He constantly craves the validation of attention he didnt really get as a kid and is constantly surrounded by people but also he feels very lonely in court. He is in a strange place of being neither noble but also not quite a commoner/servant. Nobility will look down on him and not take him serious because he's just a silly guy but the servants are wary to get too close because of his close relationship with the king and the fact that he technically has a higher status as Court Jester. He is one of Monty's closest confidantes but his own secrets keep him from being fully honest with his king. It's a strange place of feeling alone in the middle of a crowded court where everyone sees his silly jester persona and make up but no one sees beneath it.

I still hope to make a comic! Just trying to find the time to get all my ideas in order. Thanks for liking my silly guys!

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Background + poll results💙

Hello hello and welcome new followers! :]

Firstly I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone that participated in the poll I did last week, I was really surprised but happy with the results and responses! This will help me a lot moving forward! :,] If you missed it and would like to say which route you preferred feel free to comment!

Anywho, this week mainly focused on art practicing again but I did work on the game and managed to get my bearings even more!

Here is the new background for the start of the game:

This took a long time to draw up since I sketched out the background instead of looking at references this time. Once I got a basic idea of how I wanted it to look it felt.. too empty and flat. At first I couldn't figure out why until I added more shrubbery and grass. After that I started adding the trees and then added a few more to give it depth and adjusted some of the coloring. So far the immersive symbolism I'm going for is slowly coming together! Since it just finished raining where you're located I tried to give the background the illusion of looking tolerably humid but slowly getting colder over time with a hint of decay in the distance. This is a better look of the dreary foreboding atmosphere compared to the "fairy-forest" from last week. >:,] It took a while but I also added a parallax effect here and optimized the images to save space. I kept getting an error when it came to the middle ground so I had to find and fix the problem which delayed things. I don't have a video to show it in action but maybe next time. I do want it to be known again that these automatically happen and don't follow the cursor. :,,]

Here's a sneak peek of the new choices you can do when you're in this area now. >;]

This part required a lot of brainstorming before I figured out how I wanted the explorative part to go. This was originally going to go a different way completely but a particular day caused me to just scrap it and start everything over. I have a very solid idea on how I want all of this to go better than ever so I can't wait to show some of the new areas! I didn't expect this background to take as long as it did to draw up but hopefully next week I'll have more done!

Progress doodle layout:

Since certain endings are being changed I thought it would be cool to animate a progress layout to visually show how everything is going! It shouldn't take too long to finish this section up since I already have a foundation laid out.

Noah's sprite sheet update:

As far as Noah sprite sheets goes, it's still in sketch mode and I haven't messed with them yet since I've been practicing. :,,]

There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and sketches that I'm still doodling up behind the scenes so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is still open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks after everything got reset! I'll try to get to them when I can along with the ones that come to mind that got deleted. I just need time to answer since I like to respond with doodles/drawings as practice. :]

Overall that's everything I have to share so far, thank you guys for your continued encouragement and support through all of this, I wholeheartedly appreciate it! :,,]

[yoke9494]

♥️ Mitsuya pt.3 will be out tomorrow, till then...♥️

💊*AU:crack*💊

The bad pick-up lines that actually worked. 😘 (Kazushi Yamagishi)

____________________

Ah Valentine's day. The day of love, the day everyone and everything seemed to be covered in pink and red.

Swooned girls spend all night making chocolate for their crushes. Boys working up the courage to tell that special someone what they mean to them..

But for the Mizo crew, it was just another day-- Well, for everyone except one.. okay maybe two.

Takemichi had spent hours trying to pick out a gift for Hina. He settled on a soft purple bear, chocolate hearts, and her favorite flowers.

But who was the second?

Yamagishi walked next to him with a twisted face. He was full of nerves, full of self doubt.

"You sure Y/n will like all this stuff? Should I get more?"

Takemichi looked at his friend. His arms were full of candy, salty snacks, and a few Manga books.

He nodded. "You and I both know everything you have is Y/n's favorite or something she's been dying to read. Stop freaking out."

Yamagishi whined. "What if she says no? Or what if she stops being my friend?! What if I never see her again?!"

Takemichi deadpanned. "She's Makoto's adopted sister... He's like your bestest friend that you constantly hang with? She's not going anywhere."

That didn't help at all... If he fucks this up he might lose a friend too!

"There they are!--- Hey guys!"

The only ones who looked up and waved was Akkun and Takuya. You and your brother were focusing really hard on something on the ground..

What were the two of you doing?

When they got closer they noticed a few sloppy doodles in the dirt. A few pairs of boobs and some dicks.. Blood or not, you and Makoto were definitely related.

Finally they were close enough to see what the two of you were doing.

Takemichi gave Akkun a 'wtf?' look.

Akkun shrugged. "You know how they are when they get bored. One started doodling and the other followed."

(Takuya) "They ended up drawing some kind of boob city. Akkun's the mayor of Buttsville!"

Takemichi snorted while Yamagishi stood in back of you. Trying to work up the courage to get your attention.

(Makoto.) "We need a whore jail for all the prostitutes."

You hit him with your stick. " They prefer the term Sex Workers. Show some respect for all the hard working hoes out there."

He playfully mocked you as he looked up. He saw everything in Yamagishi's arms and raised a brow. "Dude. Is that all for me? I knew you were fruity. I'm not interested though."

You let out a "huh?" before you finally looked over your shoulder. "Hey Yamagishi! What's all that for?"

God you were a bit slow.. But he fell for you either way. You were so pretty, had the best humor, and laugh! When he thought about his future he always prayed it was you that would be his hot ass wife..

"Uh.. wait."

Everything fell to the floor and he reached into his pocket. You grabbed a bag of gummy candy before you stood up. Whoever this was for wouldn't mind right? Wait-- was that the manga you wanted to read?!

Yamagishi cleared his throat as he held up a crumbled piece of paper.

"Y/n..uh.-- Have you ever had an Oreo Mc flurry? I'd slap that on your ass and eat it."

Your eyes widened.

Yamagishi shook his head. "No! no I mean-- Damn baby, you got a license to operate that dump truck?... I'm talking about your butt, because it's big and I like watching you walk."

You raised a brow and your brother couldn't hold it in any longer and began to laugh.

Yamagishi let out a little whine. "Oh man. This is the last one. The banger."

He fidgeted in his spot. "You might dress like a hooker but you're a hooker with a heart of gold!"

Oh your brother lost it, he was on the ground holding his stomach. Takemichi was covering his face. Akkun had his head down in shame. Takuya pretended he didn't know anyone, he was just minding his own business.

Your brother was turning blue from laughing too hard and you were giggling..

Poor Yamagishi looked like he was going to cry! He yelled to the sky. "UGH! Just forget it! You're way out of my league anyways!"

He sniffled and shifted his fogging glasses. "Sorry for wasting your time. I just fucked it up and embarrassed myself."

He began to walk away-- but he stopped when you threw something into his hair.. Did you just throw a gummy shark at his head. "Wha--"

You cut him off. "So are we going on a date for Valentine's Day or what? Don't tell me our first date is going to be spending it with these losers and my dumbass brother."

Makoto stopped laughing and stood up. "Hey!-- wait? Are you seriously going on a date with him. Don't fuck around with him Y/n. He's sensitive."

You held your hands out. "Dostit sound like I'm fucking around? Do you think I'm that heartless?---"

(Takuya) "She's not evil like you."

(Akkun) " A damn saint next to you-- and not as perverted."

(Takemichi) "Yep.."

"WAIT!"

You all turned to look at Yamagishi. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were turning pink..

"Did you really agree to go out with me?"

You nodded. "Sure did."

He couldn't believe it. He never would have thought-- He was going to fuck it up..

"Why? I'm a loser.."

You put your hands on your hips and tilted your head. "A loser? I don't think so.. I mean here you are saying all these romantic things to me. Then you go and boost my ego when you called my ass big. Yamagishi you and I both know I have no ass but you lying to me is so sweet!"

Romantic? Sweet?

The rest of the Mizo crew watched you with hung jaws. You were fucking craaazy!

You giggled at Yamagishi's still form. He just made these small cute squeaking noises.

You picked up all the junk food and Manga's and stuffed them into your bag.

Yamagishi felt his body jerk as you grabbed his hand. "Let's go to my house. We'll pig out on snacks and I'll catch you up on the bad ass story I've been dying to read."

For once the Deliquent Poindexter was silent. He just followed your lead with hearts in his eyes.

Akkun pushed Makoto. The fucker got bored and began to pick his nose.

"What?"

Takemichi pointed to yours and Yamagishi's disappearing figure. "You're really going to let Yamagishi go home with your sister? He's going to be alone with her, in her room?"

Makoto shrugged. "At least one of us is going to get our dick wet. It's just a shame that it's going to be my sister."

Oh shit!.. his eyes widened, he cupped his hands around his mouth and took a deep breath. "Y/N! MAKE SURE YOU PULL OUT! NO BABIES! USED THE XXXL CONDOMS I HAVE IN MY ROOM!"

You didn't even look back. You just flipped him off while Yamagishi looked like he was going to die.

Makoto clicked his tongue. "Fucker!"

Your brother looked at the rest of his friends. They were staring at him like he was a mad man. "What? They'll be alright. Yamagishi will probably pass out just from touching her boob or something.

They all relaxed their shoulders. Oh right, that sounded like something he'd do.. Yamagishi was such a virgin! Has been and still is even though they all graduated and were now in University.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Yamagishi did in fact pass out on the rug in your room.

And all you did was kiss his cheek...

[mitamicah]

Hi guys and gals and nonbinary cuties 🤗

I had a wild thought: Why not try to take some commissions 👀👀?

It is a sort of experiment since I have no idea how big the interest is on tumblr next to my other social platforms (mostly deviantart) 😅. Yet I wanted to give you the possibility to commission me if it turns out that some of you are interested 💛💚💗.

More examples

You will find terms and conditions plus how to proceed with sending me a commission offer below the line:

Terms and Conditions

1 General Information

At this time, I will be taking digital art commissions only.

Standard canvas size: 1200x1600 px, 300 dpi.

It is possible to ask for a bigger or smaller canvas - the price will be raised for a bigger canvas and lowered slightly for a smaller one.

I have a limit of up to 5 characters per canvas. Doodles are excluded (there the limit is 15 doodles per canvas). To check out the price for a drawing with more than one character you can click on this excel ark (under commissions by Nov 2021).

Are you interested in a style not featured feel free to ask me and I can give you an offer.

2 Ownership

As the artist I own the final product: Please credit me if you post it (with permission) and do not delete the signature.

The art must not be used commercially.

3 Drawing limits

Things I will draw;

OCs; Shipart (within reason); Humans/humanoids; Animals of the canine, feline or equine families (cats, dogs and horses); Dragons; Anthropomorphic characters (to an extend); Children (to an extend); Elderly characters (to an extend); Fanart (more later); Armour (to an extend)

Things you have to ask me about;

SFW nudity; Muscular men or women; Big-busted women; (Mild) Gore; Monsters with undefined features; Birds, big fish and other less often drawn animals (eg. goats, rhinos, elephants, bears etc.)

Thing I won’t draw

NSFW nudity and scenes; Hateful art (lgbt-phobia, racistic, ableism etc.); Fetish art; Super detailed backgrounds

Specifically about fanart

I will gladly draw fanart of properties (movies, franchises, books etc.) that I know of and may also be persuaded to try fanart for stuff that I don’t know.

Please keep in mind that no matter what I will draw it in my style; I won’t replicate the style from a specific show/manga/book etc.

4 Work in Progress updates

I'll send work in progress (WIP) pieces when I am done sketching. Exceptions will happen when:

The owned art is a sketch drawing.

You communicate that you are not interested in wips

5 Payment options

At this time, Payment will happen through paypal only.

I will send you an invoice using the PayPal address you've stated in the commission form (more later).

The invoice will be in Danish Kroner, DKR.

Please do NOT send any money before I've accepted your commission.

Please pay within 3 days of getting the invoice - if this is not possible send me a dm/mail.  

Have I not recieved the payment within the 3 days' deadline, the deal is off.

It is not possible to split the payment. (aka paying half now and the other half later)

6 Refunds

As a commissioner you can get refunds before I send the first wip and/or if I do not update you within 14 days.

updating include the following;

sending you notes about the progress.

showing you wips of the progress.

being tagged in posts about possible setbacks.

If you decide to cancel your commission following the description above, you get 75% of your money back (little fee of asking for a refund).  

If you want refunds for any other reason than stated above, the same rules still apply IF you ask before the first wip has been sent.

If you ask for refunds AFTER the first wip the percentage will be calculated depending on how far I've gotten in the drawing process.

7 How to order

If want to commission me, please either DM me or send me a mail at thebadgerfoxdraws@gmail.com

What I want you to do is:

Fill in this form:

Username:

Offer: (eg. sketch bust)

Character(s): the name(s) and pronouns of your character/person(s) you want me to draw (to make sure I don’t misgender any character/person I may not know).

Reference(s): reference picture(s) of each character/person – (I prefer fullbodies for original characters). Please choose reference pictures in a good quality.

Background: (if you are not interested in a background or are indifferent, please tell me so as well).

Paypal adresss: (e-mail that I may send the paypal invoice to).

Other: some other details worth knowing - do you have a pose or expression in mind? do you not want wips? Etc.

Fill in this agreement:

I, (insert your username), have read and understood the terms and conditions set by MarcooftheMoon. I accept that if I should break these rules, the offer will be declined and all owned art will be cancelled. I have hereby signed this agreement.

[bpdloop]

laika ⭐ they/lune

hai~! its your dearest friend laika~!! you can refer to me as any of my names, but i prefer laika rn~! ( ^^ ♪

main is @twinleafsystem

i have comms open 24/7!! ^^

while this blog isnt nsfw, do bear in mind that we are 24 and this is the penis delirious site. i say and do all sorts of crazy shit

do note that i sometimes vent here. block the tag #gsn if you dont wish to see that <3

im a loop fictive! ^^ be weird on my posts and its all over for you, okay? ^^ )/ i am a faggot about siffrin & isa and by god i will never change

my inbox is open and i loooove attention, so feel free to drop by whenever, mkay~? you should also send me drawings on my strawpage!!! :D

i take doodle rqs on my rq blog @scribbling-one!!!

i also do art trades!! if you wanna do a trade feel free to message me~!!

i dont tag spoilers on any of my posts <3

you should totally read my post canon joining the party fic btw <3 plus its tag on this blog! feel free to ask me anything about it!! if i can answer i will. if i cant i still will, but ill be silly about it :P

you should follow my other half as well @butchsiffrin & my other partners @kittenixie & @krisiverse ~ Post Hall Of Fame ~ god bless | your loop is lying to you. | i just want attention | stars your voice is attractive | answer my blindign question stardust . | isat problems animatic you will ALWAYS be famous to me | but we'll make it work~!

tag directory below

#laikas nebulous narrations - text tag

#questions; questions - answer tag

#talking time - reply tag

#rose printed glasses - art tag

#now in technicolor - art colored w more than just b&w or red

#ani - animated artwork

#nonbinary stars - sifloop tag

#stars orbiting the sun - isifloop tag

#of cats and dogs - isafrin tag

#flashbang! - isaloop tag

#feelings buddies - mira and siffrin tag

#stars above -

#loop, #stardust, #mira, #isa, #odile, #bonbon, #nille, #euphrasie, #mdp, #sadnesses

#lulu tag - art of me!! ; #lune tag - art of my fursona!!| #loopy - oh you know | #hoop - human loops :3 | #traveler - start again siffrin

#critters - little guys designed by tawnysoup | #looplet - critter loop | #fritter - critter siffrin | #bunnybelle - critter mira | #beaubird - critter isa | #bonster - critter bonnie

# - stars and such | #️ - words and such | #stawpage - drawings folks made me on my sp ^^

#analysis | #hcs | #edits | #fav / #ult fav | #funs | #lols | #fav art | #comics

#gl - ghostlight fic tag | #sunder - sunder fic tag | #tcss - two coins same side au tag | #oyny - an old you, a new you fic tag

[drabbles-mc]

Closing the Gap

Carmy Berzatto x Luca

Summary: As everyone tries to get things under control for the construction and eventual opening of The Bear, Carmy inadvertently gets sent on a trip down memory lane. A series of flashbacks to a different time, with different people. Or, really, just one different person.

Warnings: 18+, language, light angst, smoking, pining, implied smut

Word Count: 10k

A/N: It's a 10k Carmy/Luca fic and honestly I think that's all there is to say about it 😂

The Bear Taglist: @garbinge @withmyteeth @narcolini @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Carmy was staring down at the box of paperwork that he’d just set on Sugar’s desk in the office. He wasn’t really reading the tabs on the folders in front of him. His mind was running at a mile a minute and it was getting farther and farther away from the office, and The Bear in general, with each passing second.

His heartrate was beginning to speed up inside his chest, his grip on the edges of the box tightening, knuckles turning white. He stared harder at the papers in his eyeline, barely blinking as he began to spiral.

Before he got taken too far away, there was a knock on the doorframe of the office that jolted him back to reality, back to the present instead of the montage of memories that was starting to kick up at the forefront of his mind. Clearing his throat, his eyes went wide for a second before looking over his shoulder to see who was knocking to get his attention.

Marcus was standing in the doorway, holding a book in his hand. He had his beanie and a t-shirt on, no apron yet. Carmy assumed that he must’ve just gotten in. Prying his fingers away from the edges of the box, he turned around so that he could face Marcus completely.

“What’s up, Marcus?” he asked as he perched himself on the edge of the desk, trying to look more put together than he felt.

Marcus held the book up. “Just bringing this back.”

Carmy’s eyes widened slightly as he chuckled. “Done with it already?”

Marcus nodded, a shy smile on his face for a moment before he said, “There’s a lot of really cool stuff in there.” He paused. “You know how to do all this?” He shook the book a bit to emphasize his point.

Carmy shrugged, nonchalant the way he always was whenever he talked about the things he’d done, the things he was good at. “Most of it, yea.”

Marcus chuckled as he shook his head, knowing without even having to ask or comment on it that the man standing across from him was downplaying things to an almost criminal degree. “I’ll settle for getting good at some of it.”

His hands came to rest in his lap, fighting the urge to fidget, the urge to reach for a cigarette. He didn’t even really want one in that moment, but it would’ve given him something to do. Forcing his hands to still, he looked at Marcus. “I’ve got some more at my place. I’ll bring them in for you.”

Marcus nodded, clearly enjoying the thought of that. More books. More inspiration. More ideas. “Thanks, chef.” He stepped farther into the office so that he could hand the book back to Carmy. As he was about to hold the book out to him, recognition flashed across his face, like the finally got the grasp on a memory he’d been trying to recall. “Oh, shit, yea, I almost forgot.” He opened the front cover of the book and pulled out an old, somewhat wrinkled, piece of paper. “This was tucked in one of the pages.”

Carmy’s brows knit together as he reached out to take the paper. His expression eased almost immediately as he looked at it, going from concerned, to puzzled, to amused. His entire body relaxed, posture softening as he looked at the collection of doodles and drawings all over the paper.

“Shit,” Carmy said with a soft chuckle. “Of course he put that in there.”

Now it was Marcus’s turn to look confused. “Who?”

Carmy shook his head slightly, lips still twitching as he fought back a smile. “This, this guy, this kid I was a commis with. We, uh,” he laughed quietly, “we kept ending up in the same spots.” He gestured to the book that was still in Marcus’s hand. “He got that for me. We, we both…yea.”

Marcus gestured to the rumpled piece of paper that Carmy was holding. “He draw those?”

Carmy laughed a little harder at that, almost a real, full laugh. “No, no. I mean…not, not really.” His eyes dropped back down to the page, looking at the smudged ink and eraser marks left behind by both him and Luca. “Most of these are mine. He’d try, then I’d, you know, I’d fix it.”

Marcus chuckled. Of course on top of everything else, Carmy could draw. Sure, he thought silently to himself, why not? Why wouldn’t that also be something else that his boss could do, and do well?

He could see it in Carmy’s face that the book, the drawings, whatever memories were attached to them, were taking him somewhere else. Marcus had no intention of trying to pry. So he cleared his throat, offering the book over to Carmy. “Thanks again.”

Looking up, Carmy nodded as he took the book from Marcus. “No problem.”

He barely even noticed the fact that Marcus was leaving. One the book was in his hands, Carmy immediately cracked it open. It had been one in a stack of many that he’d given to Marcus the week before. The Bear had become a library of sorts with how many books were being swapped out among the chefs there. It was good. All of it was good. But as Carmy flipped through the pages of the pastry book he was holding, for a few precious minutes he was no longer standing in the middle of the construction zone that was The Bear.

**

“I’m Luca, by the way,” he said as he tied the apron strings behind his back.

Carmy pulled his gaze up from the floor, face scrunching for a split second as he got out of his own head and took in what was actually happening in front of him. “What?”

“Luca.” his hands dropped back to his sides as he looked at Carmy, a bare hint of a smile on his face. “My name’s Luca.”

Carmy nodded, finally processing it all as he finished putting on his own apron. “Carmy.”

For the rest of that first day, that was the only thing they said to each other that could even try to pass for conversation. The rest of the day was just calling out shorthand to each other, and calling back to the other chefs in the kitchen when they were supposed to.

The controlled chaos of the kitchen felt new and routine all at the same time. Clear directions. Flawless hand-offs. Yelling and cursing when it seemed unnecessary to anyone who didn’t live and breathe it all like the rest of them did. Coils wound so tight that they had no other option but to snap.

Each day, Luca spoke to him a little more. They’d get there early, doing their prep in the silence of the kitchen before everyone else showed up. Carmy never initiated the conversation, but he never brushed Luca off either. Sometimes he would catch a slight bristle in Luca’s tone. He was never out-right antagonistic, never under-handed the way that his family sometimes was at home right before they tried to tear into him. But sometimes there would just be a slight edge to his voice, frustration that didn’t really feel directed at Carmy even though he was the one on the receiving end of it. It never really crossed Carmy’s mind to try and investigate—he’d learned better than to ask people if they were alright or what their problem was.

“You’re really fuckin’ good at this, you know,” Luca said one morning when it was just the two of them at the prep station.

Carmy hesitated, stopping what he was doing for a moment. The sound of the knife against the cutting board died off in an instant. He tilted his head just slightly, not enough to face Luca head-on, but enough to let him know that he was tuned in now. “What?”

“You’re really good at this,” he repeated. He chuckled and shook his head a bit, impressed and almost like he was in disbelief. “I came into this feelin’ pretty good but now,” his eyebrows lifted for a moment, “now I’m thinking that maybe I got a bit too comfortable.”

Despite the confusion on his face, Carmy still smiled. He gave a tiny nod, not sure what else to do. “Right. Well, um, thanks.”

After that, it felt like every time Carmy turned around, Luca was there. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t suffocating the way that it felt in other restaurants when he had someone breathing down his neck telling him that he was doing something wrong. It felt like Luca was an extension of the same machine that Carmy was. He was there, ready to take the baton for the next part of the never-ending relay that the two of them were in. As time went on, the gap between them never quite closed, but it got more manageable.

Carmy didn’t know if he was overthinking it or not, but he could’ve sworn that he felt a shift in the air around the two of them as the days ticked by. Sometimes he thought that maybe he was just projecting, letting all the years of being home and trying to anticipate everyone’s actions and feelings before they happened bleed into the present where it had no right to be. But other times, he was pretty sure that he was right. Maybe he was a little crazy, but he was almost positive that he was right, that things were changing.

Luca never seemed bothered by it, and there was something about that, that seemed impressive to Carmy. Not that he ever figured out how to say it.

The kitchen hit a small lull after a brutal rush. Letting out a breath Carmy was fairly certain he’d been holding for hours at that point, he made a comment about stepping out for five minutes to smoke a cigarette. He hadn’t thought about how long it’d been since he had one until the chaos lessened and his mind started to wander, his fingers starting to itch for one.

He stepped out back behind the restaurant. The door hadn’t even shut before he was flipping open the top of his pack of cigarettes. He was listening, waiting to hear the clunk of the door closing behind him as he put one between his lips.

When the sound didn’t come, he turned back around, lighter at the ready in his hand but not lit yet. His eyebrows were raised, and he was about to make a snide comment about shutting the door when he saw that it was Luca. The tension in his body eased when he saw the almost sheepish look on Luca’s face as he stepped completely outside, finally letting the door shut.

“Sorry. Just, you know,” he said with a laugh, gesturing over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen.

Carmy let out a low chuckle as he nodded. “I know.”

He lit his own cigarette before tilting the pack towards Luca, letting the action ask the question for him. There was a brief second of hesitation before Luca reached out and took one cigarette from the pack. Neither of them commented on it.

“Here,” Carmy tossed him the lighter, a smirk curling his lips as he watched Luca fumble to catch it in time. The same man whose hands moved at the speed of light when it was about knives and cutting boards struggled to spark up a lighter.

Luca pulled a drag off the cigarette between his lips and instantly descended into a coughing fit. Carmy chuckled, letting out an easy exhale, smoke streaming out from between his lips as he did. “Do you even smoke?” Luca’s silence spoke volumes and Carmy laughed, a real laugh for the first time in a long time. “Why would you—”

“Only way to get out of there for five minutes,” Luca said, voice strained as he tried to hold back another cough.

Carmy shook his head, leaning and reaching over to take the cigarette away from Luca. “Give me that.” He had a tiny smile on his face still as he snubbed the cigarette out on the ground. He situated himself comfortably back against the wall again, a couple seconds passing before Luca was standing beside him in the same position. “So,” Carmy said, doing his best to initiate conversation the way that Luca always seemed to do so easily, “why are you staying in a place that’s making you pretend to take up smoking?”

Luca chuckled and shook his head. He would’ve been embarrassed if he was the type. “Why are you in a place that made you take it up for real?”

Carmy’s eyebrows shot up for a moment, shock fading into amusement as he took another drag. “Fair.”

Things shifted again after that. Each smoke break that followed that, one where they would both slip out the back and into the alley, felt like some secret that they were the only ones in on. Luca never tried another cigarette, and Carmy was glad for that in a way that he didn’t know how to articulate. They would stand out back, shoulders pressed against the concrete wall behind them. Luca would watch Carmy tap the ashes off the end of his cigarette and Carmy would pretend not to notice him doing it.

“You got plans?” Carmy asked one day as they were both leaving the restaurant.

Luca laughed, shaking his head as he pushed the door open. “Any of us ever have plans?”

The fleeting grin on Carmy’s face was small, shy. “Right.”

Luca’s head tilted slightly, matching Carmy stride for stride as they went down the sidewalk. “Why?”

“Wanna come over?” the words felt like marbles in his mouth and he just hoped that they didn’t sound that way too. “I just. You know, shitty shift.”

Luca grinned. “Just wanna cook for someone who won’t yell at you, yea?”

Carmy let out a sharp exhale through his nose, half a laugh as he felt his cheeks flash hot. “Yea.”

“Sure,” Luca agreed easily.

When they got to Carmy’s apartment, Luca had no problem making himself right at home despite the fact that Carmy had next to nothing filling the space. It wasn’t even like it was a bachelor pad—he just didn’t have furniture.

It didn’t stop Luca from nosing around what little Carmy did have. Carmy tried not to watch him, knowing that there wasn’t really anything that he had to hide per se. But he also couldn’t remember the last time he had someone else in his apartment.

“You draw these?” Luca asked, carefully spreading out the small stack of papers that he saw resting on the edge of Carmy’s counter.

Carmy’s eyes widened at the question. He nodded, instantly trying to busy himself with getting things out of his cupboards to cook with. “Uh, yea. Yea I…yea.”

Luca had a smile on his face as he looked back and forth between Carmy and the drawings, all different dishes. Some of them were ones he recognized from the restaurant, others were thing’s he’d never seen before.

“They’re good.”

“Thanks,” Carmy mumbled as he turned the burner of the stove on.

“Can I ask you something?”

Carmy shrugged, still not looking back over his shoulder at Luca. “Shoot.”

“You draw your tattoos, too?”

He’d never been so glad that Luca couldn’t see the look on his face. “Um, yea. I mean, some of them. Most of them.”

Luca nodded even though Carmy wasn’t looking at him. Subconsciously he reached up, running his hand up along the inside of his bicep. He pushed the sleeve of his t-shirt up, fingers grazing over the tattoo that was inked into his skin there. He wasn’t even looking at his own arm as he turned over the information in his mind, but it was like he could feel it.

Somewhere along the way, that became part of the new routine. After an exceptionally hectic shift, they found themselves eating over the counter in Carmy’s apartment. Luca would nose around. Every now and then if there were blank spaces on sheets of drawing paper, he would put his own doodles there like Carmy wasn’t going to notice. When dinner was done Carmy would laugh, shake his head and start making little shifts, changes to the drawings that Luca started. Both of them would ignore the dishes in the sink and the fact that when Carmy reached over him for the paper and pencil his forearm would rest against Luca’s for all of a few seconds.

“Plans?” Carmy asked one night at the end of their shift.

Luca’s face brightened for a moment at the question. “Yea, actually.���

Carmy’s eyes widened just slightly as he slipped his coat on. “Yea?”

Luca nodded and grabbed his jacket as well. “Tattoo appointment.”

“Right.”

They both walked out the door. “Wanna come?” He saw the hesitation on Carmy’s face. “Won’t take long.”

Carmy sucked in a deep breath as he weighed out the options. “Uh, okay. Yea. Yea, sure.”

They talked on the walk there. Or rather, Luca talked and Carmy listened. He lit up a cigarette on the way. Whether it was because of the nerves or because his hands felt a little too idle, Carmy didn’t know.

“Hey,” the artist greeted Luca with a grin and a handshake that shifted into a quick hug when they entered. The man made a quick introduction to Carmy, who was feeling more and more out of place by the second, before jumping right into business. “So,” he brought Luca over to his work station, “you said that you had an idea?”

“Yea,” Luca nodded, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. Clearly it had been unfolded and refolded numerous times. He handed it over to the artist, whose eyes were instantly darting all over the paper because of all the different drawings crammed onto the paper. He pointed to one that was off towards the side of the paper. “That one.”

Carmy’s eyes looked like they were about to pop clean out of his skull as he watched the entire interaction play out in front of him. “Luca,” he finally forced out, eyes rapidly darting back and forth between the paper, Luca’s face, and the place on Luca’s arm that he was gesturing to, “wh-what, what are you doing?”

“What?” Luca responded easily, like this was all the most normal thing in the world.

“You’re not—are you—?” Carmy couldn’t force out a full sentence.

Luca smiled, that same expression that seemed to come so easily to him. “Yea.”

Carmy had so much that he wanted to say about it, but it was like all of the words piled up and got stuck at the back of his throat. Instead of saying anything, he just nodded. When the smile on Luca’s face got a little wider, it became a little harder to be as nervous about it.

Soon the silence of the shop was cut through by the sound of the tattoo machine. Carmy sat by, watching the artist as he worked. Listening to the man and Luca converse back and forth. Luca didn’t even flinch as the needles etched the ink into his skin, like it took nothing for him to keep his arm still as it vibrated against the outside of his bicep. The artist colored in the heart, carefully doing up the outline and the small flowers at the top and bottom of it. The stark, traditional shading and lines standing out against Luca’s skin as it all got brought to life.

It was over quicker than Carmy thought it was going to be, even though he knew better. Soon enough Luca was slapping cash into the palm of the tattoo artist and they were saying goodbye. Carmy was pretty sure that he said goodbye to the man, but he couldn’t truly remember. It felt like suddenly it was just him and Luca back out on the sidewalk again.

“Not that bad, right?” Luca asked with a small grin.

Carmy looked over at him, not really sure what Luca was referring to in particular. Then he saw the way he was nodding towards his arm. Carmy chuckled and shook his head. “Not bad.” He paused, watching as Luca carefully slipped his arms back into the sleeves of his jacket. “When’d you take that, anyway?”

Luca shrugged. “Couple weeks ago.”

Carmy smiled, the spike in his heartrate for once didn’t feel like an impending anxiety attack as he laughed. “Klepto.”

“You didn’t even notice!” he responded with a laugh.

Carmy was still shaking his head as the two of them started making their way down the sidewalk. Luca was looking around at everything, meanwhile Carmy went back and forth between looking at the sidewalk passing beneath their feet, and looking over at Luca.

Neither of them brought up the tattoo after that. Sometimes Carmy would see it while they were working in the kitchen, when Luca’s sleeve would slide up when he reached for something. It was a fleeting thing, the kitchen not creating the type of environment conducive to longing stares.

Their time together as commis was rapidly approaching an end. Carmy could feel the days ticking by and he felt like he was supposed to be doing something about it but he didn’t know what. Luca would be laughing on their fake smoke breaks, he would be rooting through Carmy’s cabinets at home and ragging on him for the amount of instant ramen he had stashed in there, and Carmy could feel that he was letting opportunities pass him by. He didn’t know how not to let them keeping slipping away from him.

“I’m telling you,” Luca said as he twirled pasta around his fork, “you can come visit anytime.”

Carmy smiled small, unable to make himself look over at Luca. “Yea? Any time? Just, just drop what I’m doing and fly—”

“Across the pond,” Luca finished for him with a laugh. “Yea.”

Carmy shook his head. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” He paused. “Where next?”

He let out a sharp exhale. “New York, I think. Probably.”

“Probably?” Luca parroted back with a chuckle. “Might wanna firm up those plans a bit.”

Carmy turned and looked at him a little more head-on. “Yea, no, I mean, I’m, I’m locked in. For sure.”

“Second-guessing?” Luca asked, the humor gone from his voice and genuine interest in its place instead.

“Ah, um,” Carmy stammered as he tapped his fork against the edge of the bowl, “I guess?”

“Why’s that?”

Carmy paused, really considering what he wanted his answer to that question to be. “I, I do it with everything, I guess.”

Luca waited until Carmy was looking at him. “Everything?”

Carmy’s heart was beating fast enough to the point he just thought it was going to stop altogether. “Pretty much,” he forced out, voice quieter than it needed to be.

There was hardly any space between them, and Carmy had never been more aware of his proximity to another person before. The air was heavy with tension, and opportunities, and Carmy felt like it was all about one breath away from suffocating him completely. He thought that his hands were going to start shaking, enough to make the bowl fall from his hands and clatter against the floor. That was just what he needed.

“Carm?”

He wanted to look away but he couldn’t. Luca was looking at him in a way that made Carmy feel like his knees were going to give way underneath him. He was too used to having people looking through him that having someone looking at him was tough to stomach without crumpling. He opened his mouth, tried to say, “Yea?” but he couldn’t get the word out and his jaw slowly closed again instead.

Then Luca smiled and suddenly the intensity of it all seemed a little more bearable. Then Luca kissed him, movements more assured than Carmy had ever been in his life, could ever hope to be, and suddenly the suffocating feeling of it all was gone. There was no ceramic shattering on the floor, he didn’t flatline, the world didn’t crumble around them. It was good. And Carmy tried his best to just let it be good.

Carmy’s hand slid up Luca’s arm, fingers reaching underneath his sleeve just enough so that he was able to graze over the tattoo there with his fingertips. He grabbed onto Luca’s arm a little tighter, tried to pull him a little closer. The first thing he’d done in a long time that he didn’t hesitate on. Then Luca’s hand was on his shoulder, sliding up to rest against the side of Carmy’s neck, and then the rest of the world just faded into the background.

Carmy had no idea how a goodbye could hurt so much and simultaneously feel so anticlimactic. There was no getting out of it though. Luca was leaving, and Carmy wasn’t. Or, he was, but it didn’t matter because he wasn’t leaving to go to the same place that Luca was.

He sat in his apartment, the space feeling emptier now than it ever had before even though nothing had been taken out of it. He braced himself against the kitchen counter, fingers wrapped tightly around the edge of it. His eyes zeroed in on the book sitting on top of the counter. Luca had given it to him at the end of their last shift together. Leaving it with an easy, “Light reading for when you start to miss me too much,” that made Carmy laugh in the moment but the weight of it felt a little different now.

He drummed his fingers on the cover of the book. He could tell that it was brand new, the outer sleeve still glossy. The entire book, the whole hundred-plus pages of it, were all different pastries and desserts. Of course. Despite the heaviness hovering over his chest, there was a small smile on Carmy’s face as he delicately opened the front cover of it, like it was made of glass not paper.

Tucked inside the front cover was a note scribbled onto an index card. Carmy instantly recognized Luca’s handwriting. “Better learn one of these before you come visit. -Luca” His smile grew a little wider, a choked laugh getting stuck in the back of his throat as he looked at the small drawing scrawled at the bottom of the index card. Shaking his head, Carmy took the card out and tacked it onto his fridge.

It'd been months since Luca had left, months since Carmy started at his placement in New York. Every day of it had been hell. But he couldn’t stop himself from showing up every morning ready to go through it all over again. He was popping tums like they were candy and he was surprised that his hair wasn’t falling out in clumps, but he was getting through it. Despite the hellishness of it all, Carmy felt like he was doing well. Felt like he was doing things right.

Then one day it just didn’t feel that way anymore. He couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe it was just too many hours with an asshole executive chef breathing down his neck. Maybe it wasn’t enough sleep, wasn’t enough real food that didn’t come out of the microwave or the freezer. Maybe it was too many cigarettes and not enough water. But suddenly he was out back behind the restaurant in New York hyperventilating and feeling like he was about to pass out. His hands were shaking and then he was dialing Luca’s number, something that he hadn’t done since he left.

“You know there’s a time difference, yea?” Luca said, clearly exhausted and groggy as he chuckled on the other end of the line.

“Hey,” Carmy managed to put all of his strength into getting that one word out. His voice made him seem like a completely different person. Maybe he was.

He could hear the rustling on Luca’s end, briefly wondered what he was doing or setting aside to be able to talk. It was easier for Carmy to think about that than everything else. “You alright?”

Carmy cleared his throat, but it didn’t really help at all. “You meant it, right?” He raked his fingers back through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. You, did you mean it when you said I could visit anytime?”

Luca’s voice was smooth and steady, warm in the way Carmy had remembered it. “Course man, yea. Absolutely.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause, like Luca was waiting for Carmy to say more and then he didn’t. “Okay.”

“Th-thank you,” Carmy stammered out. “And. And I’m sorry.”

Luca didn’t acknowledge any of it, not wanting Carmy to think that he owed an apology, or that he owed any extra gratitude for what just transpired between them. “I’ll see you soon then, yea?”

Carmy exhaled deeply, intensely enough for Luca to hear it on the other end half a world away. “Yea.”

It seemed like time hadn’t even touched Luca when Carmy saw him again. He was standing outside the airport, looking around like he hadn’t been living there and already taking it all in for months. Luca heard the sound of a suitcase rolling on the cobblestones, the way it was getting closer. Looking over, he beamed when he saw Carmy.

He held out both his arms. “Welcome to Copenhagen.”

Carmy laughed, those three words eradicating the worry that things were going to be off between them. It was one of the only things that he could think of the whole flight over. But of course it was alright. It was Luca.

“C’mon,” Luca joked as he gestured for Carmy to follow him, “I’ll be your tour guide.”

Carmy didn’t do much talking as the two of them walked to wherever Luca was deciding to take him. He was glad for it. He listened as Luca talked about some of the places that they passed, some of the things he’d been up to in his time there. Carmy would’ve listened to him for hours if he could. He missed it, missed him. He should’ve called.

“Oh,” Luca turned and looked at Carmy as they walked, “I did get a place for you to stay. Marie has some rules but it’s a pretty cool spot.”

“Yea?” Carmy allowed himself a little hopefulness. Something about being on the other side of the world from the rest of the chaos making it seem more doable.

Luca nodded. “Yea. Honestly I might be crashing in on you while you’re there.”

Carmy smiled small and warm at the thought of it. “Alright.”

Of all the things Carmy had been expecting, he certainly hadn’t been expecting Luca to bring him to a boat. His eyebrows lifted, a surprised smile on his face as he look back and forth between Luca and the boat. He had questions but as he looked at the giddy smile on Luca's face he decided that none of them really mattered.

“Pretty cool, yea?” Luca said as he held his hand out to help pull Carmy on-board.

Carmy laughed as he accepted the help, nodding as he balanced his luggage and his footsteps getting on. “Yea, pretty cool.”

It took an extra couple of seconds for Carmy to realize that his hand was still gripping onto Luca's. When he brought his gaze up to Luca's face, he realized that Luca was focused intently on his hand. For a fleeting moment Carmy thought the worst, but then he realized that Luca was studying the ink on Carmy's skin. A tattoo that hadn’t been there before when they were in Chicago together. Carmy had gotten plenty of other tattoos since, Luca too, but he was acutely aware of why Luca was fixated on that one in particular.

Pulling his hand away, Carmy tried to cover his nerves by clearing his throat. “You said she left instructions or something?”

Luca didn’t seem fazed by the shift in conversation. “Right, yea, c’mon.” He motioned for Carmy to follow him inside. He ducked to fit underneath the top of the door frame, but not quite low enough and he thumped his head as a result. He muttered out a quiet, “Shit,” before laughing.

Carmy laughed too, shaking his head as he went through the door with no issues. He slipped past Luca, who was reading the note that was left on the table for him.

He was looking for a decent place to set his bags for the time being when he heard Luca ask, “You alright with cats?”

“Cats?” Carmy parroted back.

“Yea,” Luca stepped over to where Carmy was standing by the bed. The small space they were in making him feel much closer than usual. He showed Carmy the paper. “Said you gotta leave water out for the cat.”

Carmy shrugged. “I can do that.” He watched as Luca set the note down. Then it was just the two of them standing in the silence of the boat, and Carmy knew that now was the time to say something. “Thank you, again. Seriously.”

Luca shook his head slightly. “Don’t thank me.” He paused. “You alright?”

Carmy didn’t know how to answer that question. Right then, in that moment, he was as alright as he could ever remember being. But he knew it wasn’t a feeling that was going to last. Eventually he’d have to go back. And then what? He was going to be left in the same situation he’d been in when he called Luca. Not alright at all.

“I am now,” he answered honestly.

Luca gave a slow nod, able to hear what Carmy wasn’t saying. “You wanna talk about it?” He gave it a beat. “About New York?”

With no hesitation Carmy shook his head. “No. Not, not right now.”

Luca nodded. “Sure.”

Silence filled the space between them again, and Luca could see it in Carmy’s posture, in the way that his hands were fidgeting with nothing, that he was trying to figure out if he’d said the wrong thing or not. It was so strange to Luca, the fact that that was a constant concern on his mind, because as far as he was concerned, there wasn’t a single thing that Carmy could say to him in their moments together that would ever constitute as wrong.

He broke the ice again, happy to do it as many times as necessary. “I can promise you that there’s nothing in the fridge or the cupboards. So,” he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, “we can take care of that if you’re not too beat.”

Carmy nodded eagerly. Food. Groceries. Those were things he could handle talking about. Those were topics that he wouldn’t fuck up. “Yea, I’m good for that.”

Luca smiled. “Great.”

It was as easy as Carmy ever remembered it being with Luca. Maybe even easier, with the worst of his stressors an ocean away from him for now. Luca led the way through markets and shops and Carmy was more than happy just to follow, to listen to what Luca had to say about all of them. Most of the things they bought were groceries, but every now and then Luca would take him on a detour, popping into a bakery or strolling up to a stand and buying something small to eat as they wandered. He justified it as giving Carmy inspiration, expanding his palette, not that that was a large concern for him anyway. But really it was just nice to be able to share this part of his life.

“Good, yea?” Luca asked as he watched Carmy take a bite of the pastry he’d just handed over to him.

Carmy’s brows knit together for a moment, his expression serious as he really turned over each flavor. “Whoa,” he said, food still tucked in his cheek, “that’s fire.”

Luca’s face brightened as he laughed. “Right?” The two of them continued on their way, bags hanging in the crooks of each of their arms. “Been missing out.”

Carmy chuckled, watching Luca as he confidently guided them back towards the boat. “Yea, apparently.”

They worked in tandem to find homes for all of the groceries they’d brought back. Carmy laughed every time Luca had to duck his head to get underneath something. Tried and failed to stifle that same laughter the times that he forgot and ended up bumping his head against the low ceilings and doorframes of the boat.

When they were together in Carmy’s apartment, Carmy did most of the cooking. Luca would pitch in here and there, but it was Carmy’s domain for the most part. This time around, in what little space they had to cook on the boat, the two of them were doing everything together. Once again, they were part of the same machine, but this time it flowed so nicely—no screaming, no stress. They just flowed their way through it and at the end of it all they had a meal.

“So,” Carmy said as they sat at the tiny table together, “is your boat down the street? Or are these just for tourists?”

Luca laughed, shaking his head. “Tourists only, yea.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “My flat’s alright. More furniture than yours had.”

Carmy almost choked on his food. “Oh yea?”

Luca laughed and nodded. “Yea.” His shoulders shook with refrained laughter. “Not like this, though.”

Carmy studied Luca’s face, watched the way he was focused on the plate as he gathered another forkful of food. “You asking to stay over?”

Luca’s eyes diverted back up to him, a smile curling the ends of his lips. “Only if you’re saying yes.”

Carmy’s entire face flashed hot and he was smiling before he knew what he was doing. “Yes.”

His grin grew a little wider. He nodded, but didn’t say anything else about it as the two of them went back to finishing their meal. Carmy’s heart felt like it was beating clean into his throat but he didn’t mind it. He forgot what that was like.

“Nah, I, I got it,” he said as he waved Luca off when they were done, stopping the man from getting up from the table. “You’re just gonna smack your head off something again.”

Luca chuckled but he didn’t fight him on it, letting Carmy gather up their plates and silverware and bring it to the sink to start washing them. For a couple minutes Luca just sat back and watched Carmy, the way he still did everything with the same meticulous precision he did in the restaurant, but now there wasn’t that same tension in his shoulders like there had been before. He drummed his fingers lightly on the tabletop for a moment before getting up to go and help. He saw Carmy turn, about to try and send him off again, but he didn’t give him a chance as he grabbed a towel and started to dry the dishes he’d set in the drying rack.

“Thank you,” Carmy said, sounding more amused than he wanted to.

Luca smiled, nodded, but didn’t turn to look at him, didn’t say anything in response. The two of them comfortably silent as they continued to wash, dry, and put away the few dishes that they’d used to cook and eat with. Carmy was extremely aware of the contact each time their hands touched, fingers brushing on the hand-off. He was equally aware of the fact that Luca didn’t seem shaken about it like he was. One day he’d feel that kind of comfortable confidence.

“Luca?” Carmy said, drying his hands off when they were done.

“Yea?” he tilted his head slightly, not completely facing him yet as he dried off his own hands and set the towel to the side.

The three seconds between Luca saying that and looking at him felt like some of the longest of Carmy’s life. A long time to wait trying to make one day happen now.

Luca finally turned and looked at him, the look on his face clearly showing that he was about to say something, maybe even ask if Carmy was alright. Carmy didn’t give him the chance to get the question out. He wouldn’t have been able to answer it anyway. Instead, he leaned in, bringing his lips to Luca’s. Even with everything that happened, there was still a split second when Carmy worried that he was going to pull away. But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. He didn’t pull away, and Carmy leaned in more and brought his hand to the side of Luca’s face.

He leaned down, melting right into Carmy, relaxing into it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Carmy almost didn’t know what to do with that. It felt like each part of his body was moving independently from the others, brain detached from all of it. But suddenly his other hand was on Luca’s side and he was pulling him back, the few strides there were between the kitchen and the bed.

The moment was broken only by the muffled thumping sound of Luca’s head hitting the ceiling as they stepped from one area of the boat to the next. It caused both of them to laugh, breaking the kiss.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

They both swore quietly at the same time. Carmy was shaking his head, cheeks feeling like they were on fire even though it wasn’t really his fault. “You good?”

Luca chuckled, nodding. “Yea, it’s alright.”

The moment smoothed itself over. Soon enough Luca’s lips were right back on his again. Carmy didn’t know how he managed to make something so pivotal feel so low-stakes. Something that would’ve had him paralyzed with fear if it was anyone else felt so traversable now.

When Carmy woke up, it was to the sound of Luca shuffling around the boat in the small hours of the morning. He was hunched over, gathering his clothes off the floor. Carmy’s eyes were barely open at all, still heavy with sleep. His brain was working at half-speed trying to figure out what was going on.

“All good?” Carmy mumbled, propping himself up on one elbow.

The humor in Luca’s tone was impossible to miss, getting more enjoyment than maybe he should have at how exhausted Carmy sounded. “Yea. Work.”

“Shit,” Carmy said, pressing the heel of his palm against his eye. “Right.”

“Go to sleep,” Luca told him, pulling his t-shirt down over his head. “I’ll be back later.”

Carmy was too tired to argue, jetlag catching up to him something fierce along with all of the exhaustion he’d been trying not to feel over the last few months. It felt safe to feel it all now, let it take him out for a few more hours.

Luca did come back, just like he said he would. He returned to the boat with a backpack stuffed full of clothes and other miscellaneous things. Carmy felt like an idiot for how wide his smile grew at the realization of it when Luca set it with Carmy’s suitcase.

That was their life for the next few days. Cozy nights fumbling around the close quarters of the boat, cooking meals that they each knew they wouldn’t be making for themselves if they were alone. They took turns doing dishes. Luca would leave early in the morning, Carmy usually only waking up just long enough to see him go before falling back to sleep again. And when he’d wake back up again, with most of the day to himself, he’d go out. He’d find restaurants. He’d go wander in places that he never would’ve taken the time to under any other circumstances. Let himself be a tourist and he’d send Luca photo evidence of it even though he couldn’t really respond.

Luca got back to the boat one night and Carmy was already elbow-deep in making something that Luca had no idea about. He loomed over Carmy’s shoulder, looking back and forth between what Carmy was doing, and the book that was open and precariously perched just out of the danger-zone.

“What’s all this?” he finally asked.

Carmy spared a quick glance over his shoulder. “You, uh,” he laughed, feeling a little ridiculous about it, “you said I had to learn one of these before I came to visit.”

Luca gave him a warm smile as he tried to take a closer look at the recipe that Carmy was working from. “Did you?”

“I mean, I don’t have it memorized, but, you know, yea. I learned it.”

“Too busy to memorize it?” Luca joked.

Carmy laughed, eyes widening for a moment. “Yea. You know, can’t remember what I was so busy doing. No priorities, apparently.”

“None, yea,” Luca agreed with a grin.

Truth be told, Luca never would’ve been able to tell if Carmy had ever made a dish before or not. Everything he ever saw Carmy attempt to make always came out great, like he’d made it a thousand times in his sleep before. It was beyond his comprehension.

“Glad I gave you that,” Luca said with a smug smirk pulling at the end of his lips, half-eaten pastry in his hand.

Carmy shook his head but he smiled too. “I’m sure.” He took a bite of the one he’d been holding onto. “You should check it out.”

Luca nodded. “Sure.”

Carmy’s voice got softer as he said, “Good.”

He could see it on Carmy’s face that his mind was wandering, going too far beyond the reaches of the boat they were in for it to be anything good. “Hey.” He waited for Carmy to look at him again, both their expressions shifting slightly. Luca lightly knocked his knee against Carmy’s. “It’s all good.”

He blinked, nodding, processing the comforting shorthand. “Yea. Yea. It’s all good.” He paused, shoulders relaxing. “Thank you.”

Luca smiled, an easy comforting thing. He watched Carmy finish off the pastry that he was eating. He could see the thousand tiny little shifts in his expression, and Luca had to laugh. “What?”

Carmy looked confused, almost startled at the question. “What? I didn’t, I didn’t say anything.”

“What are you gonna do different next time?” he asked, lifting the pastry in his hand a little higher. He saw the way that Carmy was about to try and come up with a rebuttal and he didn’t let him. “I can see it on your face, Caz.” He couldn’t stop laughing. “What is it?”

Carmy rolled his eyes, tried to keep a serious expression on but he broke down into laughter too, knowing that there was no way he was going to be able to lie to Luca. “I don’t know how to explain it. Something’s just…you really don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“Not a clue,” Luca admitted with a laugh, unashamed as could be.

“You think I’m nuts.” It was a statement, not a question as Carmy stared at him.

“Oh, well, yea,” Luca said, face bright with humor. “’Course I do.”

Carmy broke down in laughter. “Fuck off.”

They were both lost to fits of laughter after that, sitting next to each other at the small round table. Luca watched as Carmy poured over the recipe again, like if he reread the words over one more time he would be able to pinpoint what it was about it that he didn’t like.

“Carm?” Luca piped up, knowing that Carmy had no concept of time, no idea how long he’d been staring at the same page in the recipe book.

“Yea?” Carmy replied, not looking up from the page.

Luca chuckled, reaching over and shutting the book on him. “Try again tomorrow. Not gonna fix it all today.”

Carmy huffed, but smiled as he leaned back in his chair. “Right. Yea.”

It was late. Later than it should’ve been considering Luca’s alarm would be going off in a few hours. He was on the bed beside Carmy, laying on his side with his head perched in his hand, arm bent keeping him propped up enough to look at Carmy’s face as Carmy laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He studied the little details of Carmy’s face, things that he didn’t get to see in other moments, things no one else ever got to see. The light sheen of sweat across his forehead, the flush of his cheeks, the way only a few locks of his hair stuck were unruly enough to fall in front of or on the sides of his face. He watched the rise and fall of Carmy’s chest, drastic but faster than it usually was as he tried to catch his breath.

For a moment Luca didn’t even think that Carmy was paying attention to him at all, thought that maybe he was lost in his own thoughts or maybe even for once wasn’t thinking any thoughts at all. But then Carmy’s eyes wandered, matching Luca’s gaze. His lips curved upwards into a small smile as he looked over at Luca.

“What?” Carmy asked, laughing quietly.

Luca shook his head, watching as Carmy tucked one hand behind his head. “Can I ask you something?”

That was the kind of question that would usually be enough to send a jolt of fear clean down Carmy’s spine. But it didn’t this time, like nothing could touch them here. “Yea. Always.”

With the hand that wasn’t keeping his head propped up, Luca reached over and gently took Carmy’s free hand in his own. Carmy watched with bated breath as Luca turned his hand over, fingers grazing deftly over his skin.

“When,” Luca started to ask, fingertips lightly tapping the flower that was inked into the side of Carmy’s hand, one that looked very similar to the ones that were around the heart on Luca’s arm, “did you get this one?”

Carmy couldn’t take his eyes of his hand, off of Luca’s hand that was still toying with his own. His face felt like it was on fire. He knew that Luca was only asking the question because he already had an idea as to what the answer was.

“That one?” Carmy stalled, eyes still locked on their hands. “I got that one, uh, I got it, you know, right before I went to New York.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

“Goodbye present from Chicago?”

Carmy chuckled. “Say that like I was never gonna go back.”

Luca shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

Carmy’s face softened. “I know what you mean.”

“Just wondering, ‘cause, you know,” he met Carmy’s eyeline, “looks a little familiar, is all.”

Carmy laughed. “Does it? Does it look familiar?”

“If you wanted to copy mine, you should’ve just—”

“Copy yours?” Carmy asked, laughing like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard Luca say. “You stole my drawing and got it—”

“And then you copied it.”

They were both laughing, fingers still entwined. Carmy gave in, losing the argument feeling better than winning any other one ever had. “Guess it made me feel a little better.”

Luca nodded, bringing their joined hands up to his lips, the kiss so light and fleeting that Carmy would’ve chalked it up to a daydream if he didn’t know any better. “Me too.”

When Luca’s alarm went off in the morning, it woke Carmy up first for once. Opening one eye, he looked over to see Luca still passed out in the bed beside him. He let out a quiet, sleepy chuckle as he reached resting his hand against the center of Luca’s chest.

“Hey,” Carmy mumbled, the side of his face still resting in the crook of Luca’s shoulder. “C’mon.” He drummed his fingers. “You gotta go.”

Luca’s eyes weren’t even open as he wrapped his arm around Carmy, pulling him tighter against his side for a moment. “Yea. I’m going.”

Carmy would’ve stayed like that all day long if there weren’t any consequences to it. “I see that, yea.” Carmy could’ve sworn that it caused him real, physical pain to unfurl himself from Luca’s hold. “Go, Chef. Get ready.”

Luca groaned but he started to force himself to be fully conscious. “Heard.”

Carmy was only half awake, laying on his stomach with his arms tucked underneath his pillow as he watched Luca haphazardly get ready for the day. It was going to be a long one and Carmy felt a little bad, but not bad enough to apologize.

“I’ll see you,” Luca said as he pulled his shoes on.

Carmy nodded, already about to fall back to sleep. “I’ll be here.”

Carmy went out again, took himself on a small-scale grocery trip. Went out just long enough to get a few specific things that he had in mind. When he got back, he was surprised to find that Luca had gotten back in the time that he was gone. He must’ve started his day much later than he thought.

When he walked through the door, he saw Luca sitting at the table looking through the pastry book. Carmy chuckled. “Hey.”

“You know,” Luca started, still looking at the pages in front of him, “I don’t think there’s a cat.”

Carmy let out a confused laugh as he unpacked the bag of groceries he was carrying. “What?”

Luca looked over at him. “You ever see Coco?”

Carmy paused, thinking about it for a moment before finally shaking his head. “Never.”

“Yea,” he turned the page, “I don’t think she’s real.”

“Or she’s invisible.”

“Oh, yea,” Luca nodded, laughing, “that makes more sense.”

Carmy had stopped keeping track of how many days he’d spent in Copenhagen. If he started to count, reality would start to set in and if that happened the delicate bubble that was keeping he and Luca safe would inevitably pop. Luca hadn’t brought up New York, hadn’t brought up any of it. And Carmy was wondering if he was just as afraid for it all to crumble away. Or maybe Luca was just letting this be what his life was now. Carmy wished that he could do the same.

There was Luca. And there was the boat. And there were quiet nights and a cat that was nowhere to be found. But there was also Noma and ridiculous hours and minds racing with the thoughts of ingredients and recipes. There was a balance that was so carefully struck but Carmy knew that he wasn’t going to be able to maintain it forever—he wasn’t Luca. He also knew that it was all temporary. Noma wasn’t forever. Copenhagen wasn’t forever. He didn’t want to keep going on that train of thought, knowing where the final destination of it was.

It was easy to let himself stave off the thoughts most of the time. He’d get halfway down a spiral and then Luca would say something to get his attention, or his arm would sling over Carmy’s side in his sleep, and it was like a reset. Turning the timer back again. But eventually it was going to have to go off.

Carmy was packing up what precious little he’d brought with him to Copenhagen in the first place. Luca sat on the edge of the bed watching, neither of them really saying much about any of it. What was there to say?

He was getting ready to pull the zipper on his suitcase when Luca held the book out to him, the same one he’d given Carmy when he was leaving Chicago. Carmy shook his head. “Keep it. Your turn to learn something from it.” He knew that more than once over the last few weeks Luca had brought it to work with him. Neither of them ever said anything about it.

Luca’s smile was small as he shook his head, continuing to hold the book out to Carmy. “It’s yours.” When Carmy still wouldn’t take it from him, he tossed it into his suitcase for him. “Perfect that recipe before you come back next time.”

Carmy chuckled but there was a heaviness to it as he nodded. “Right. Right. Next time.”

“Don’t gotta wait till you have another breakdown, by the way.”

Carmy laughed, looking over at Luca. “Might be the fastest way to get me back here.”

Luca nodded, a tiny grin on his face. “Might be.”

For the first time in a long time there was a weight to the silence that was between them. Carmy found himself wanting to say thank you, wanting to apologize, all the stuff that Luca never asked him for. He didn’t know what else there was to say. He felt like they didn’t really have to say the rest of it.

“I’m, um, I’m glad I called you,” Carmy finally said.

“Me too.”

“I won’t wait so long next time.” He wanted it to be true. He hoped that it was.

Luca smiled. “Good.”

Carmy was smiling but he could feel the familiar burn of tears wanting to form. He shook his head slightly, gaze dropping when he couldn’t hold Luca’s stare anymore without feeling like he was going to break. “Fuck,” he muttered, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Shit. I’m,” he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling before looking back at Luca again, “I’m sorry.”

Luca shook his head. “It’s alright.” Getting up, he made sure to keep his head low enough to not smack it off the ceiling. He’d nearly perfected that. He pulled Carmy in, repeating the words when he felt the way Carmy sagged against him. “It’s alright.”

**

Carmy was yanked back to the present, back to reality by the sound of something crashing in the next room over. His fingers curled tighter around the book in his hands, like if he held onto it tight enough he’d get sent right back into the past again.

He could hear the yelling on the other side of the wall. The words being said didn’t reach his ears. They didn’t need to—it wouldn’t matter if they did. He looked back down at the book in front of him, eyes roaming over the pages. He still remembered the recipe. He still never figured out what it had been missing.

Syd materialized in the doorway of the office, looking as exasperated as she ever had. “Got a question, Chef.”

Carmy had to try harder than he cared to admit to look up from the pages in front of him. “I was thinking about Marcus.”

Syd blinked once, shaking her head slightly at the change in subject when they hadn’t gotten fully started on the thing that she had popped in to talk about in the first place. “Okay?”

“Yea.” Carmy nodded, closing the book and drumming his fingers against the cover. “Yea.”

Syd’s eyes widened, waiting for an explanation that never came. “What were you thinking about Marcus?”

“We should send him somewhere. Get him, you know, get him inspired.”

Syd shrugged, nodding. “We could do that. Got any ideas?”

“A few,” he replied with no hesitation. “Yea, I got a couple.” He paused, thinking about the paper covered in drawings, about the book with the impossible recipe, about the number in his phone that he hadn’t dialed in far too long. “I was thinking maybe Copenhagen?”

Syd smiled at that. “Shit, yea. That’d, that’d be dope.” She thought on it for a moment. “You know someone, I’m assuming?”

Carmy chuckled, nodding. “Yea. I know someone.”

Syd nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Relief and excitement both rushed through Carmy all at once. “Heard.” Clearing his throat, he called out, yelling above the rest of the noise, “Yo! Marcus!”

Within seconds Marcus appeared back in the doorway of the office. “Yes, Chef?”

“We’re sending you to Copenhagen,” Carmy said with a definitive nod.

Marcus’s eyes went wide. He looked back and forth between Carmy and Syd like he was waiting for this to be the punchline of a joke. “For real?”

Carmy nodded. “For real.”

His entire face lit up. “Alright. Heard, Chef.”

The smile on Carmy’s face was soft as he nodded once more. “Alright.”

[lvxybby]

it kills me to love you (Kai Anderson x Reader) Angst (it will get better <3)

Ive been part of kais cult for about 4 weeks now. we have known each other before his cult was formed. its been 5 months since he gathered people to join, but he never told me about it until he proposed the idea for me to join. me and kai have always been big on getting things our way and if that didnt happen, there would be consequences for the person. but never killing them. or at least that idea was never in my mind. i dont know about him. i dont know much about him anymore. hes gone mad. absolutely crazy. and theres this woman. Meadow. Meadow Wilton. That stuck up bitch. And she is all over kai. i mean all over him. it goes from doing his hair. to sitting on his lap. to all out make out sessions between them. and me? im jealous as FUCK cause of it. that fucking bitch. ive loved and cared for kai for 2 years! i have given him every last bit of my attention. but he turns a blind eye every SINGLE time. but meadow. oh no...she slits some guys throat and "oh dear god meadow! your the best! you've done so much for me!" In kais eyes. fuck him. im DONE with his bullshit. "Kai!" i heard winter shout from downstairs. "Kai! meadow is here!" she shouted again. i heard very quick, heavy steps walk in front of my door than trail down the stairs. i sighed before grasping my journal to doodle in. my pencil lead dwindled as i drew on the plain white paper. i pressed harder as i drew faster. and faster. the grey color faded into a shiny black as i drew more lines. i stopped to enjoy my drawing. ive been good at drawing since i was about 13 and took art classes in middle school. the drawing was just a really detailed drawing of some spirals, something in really like to draw. but now...i wasnt feeling it. i closed the book shut and threw it across the room. i focused on the sounds around me. i focused more and more. on the sounds. "kai! oh kai yes!" i heard very muffled through the walls. why couldnt i cry out his name like that. did he not want me around? did i not do enough for him? ive been TRYING for years to please him! i cant stand to be in the same house with meadow and now im barely able to be with him. i couldnt bear to hear meadows moans for longer. i stuff my phone into my pocket and grab my tiny bag that has my wallet and other essentials in it. i walk downstairs and see winter on the couch. "where you heading?" she asked. "i dont know... anywhere but here...i cant stand your brother anymore..." i said before walking out the door. i walked for a bit before coming across a nice park. im slightly familiar with it cause they have some bird feeders, and me and kai along with everyone else poisoned them all around the city. i sat on one of the benches. after about 30 minutes my phone began to buzz. i looked at it and saw kai was calling. i also saw he left 12 messages, that i had unopened. i looked at the screen before answering. i took a deep breath in. "hello" i said. "where the fuck are you?! why havent you opened my messages?!" he shouted through the phone. "kai dont yell at me...talk to me" i said a bit angered. "no fuck that! answer my da-" he was cut off as i hung up with him. oh fuck im in trouble.

[dedisgone]

Hey hey!!

it's about time i got an introductory post up-

but hello! my name's Ded, but I've also got Tavi or Lasagna!

i use he/him pronouns, am on and off in activity, and simply am a silly little guy! i love hlvrai, half life, hl adjacent media, hermitcraft, traffic/life smp, and a lot of other things!

i draw!! and my commissions are open!! check it out here if you're interested :D my inbox is open! i also take ask requests! more on this at the end

(check out below the cut!!)

some things about me!!

i AM a minor. yes, i make suggestive jokes, and yes, i don't mind hearing them. HOWEVER! i will not do any sort of explicitly nsfw content. do not send it to me, do not ask me to draw it, that's final. jokes are where i draw the line.

i have trouble telling tone! you may see me put tone tags with my posts, or if you're talking to me directly. i don't mind abbreviated or full tagging, as i myself use both

i can be very shy at first, but i really do love talking to people! please, don't be scared to reach out to me. you can find me as DedIsGone or dedisgone on just about anything! (especially discord! come say hi!)

BASIC DNI CRITERIA APPLIES!!!

do not be racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, xenophobic, bring up proshipping or ANYTHING of the sort on my page!! no one wants to hear any of that.

i do ask that if you're below 13, please stay off my page. honestly, you shouldn't even be on here in the first place.

TAGS: (i talk in my tags so... bear with me)

i tag cws and tws as both #[trigger] and #tw [trigger] or #cw [content warning]

deds little goobers - my ocs! i love them to death, they typically will be the primary focus of my art (i think?)

talks from the grave - text posts! i just thought it'd be silly :3

suggestive - anything of a suggestive joke or such. i'm pretty bad at using these, so do send me a message or ask to let me know if i need to correct smth!

ded draws - anything regarding my art! just in case you want to filter out the sheer amount of reblogs on here LMAO

there's some smaller ones, such as Empires of Venom, Lavender Crystals, Dead Bush, The Hunted: Path of Grit, etc. these are for my oc storylines, and you'll be able to find them! eventually i'll make a master post with them, but not atm

INBOX/ASK INFORMATION:

feel free to send asks to get to know me better!! theres only so much i can remember to put in an intro post :/

i also do requests! usually this'll be in the form of silly doodles, rather than complete drawings, but you never know! OC requests or questions will take priority, but stuff about my fandoms are totally up for grabs!! :3

like i mentioned above, PLEASE!! i heavily encourage oc interactions/questions!! im so normal about them.

again, nothing nsfw, do not ask about it. but other than that, have fun!!!

[knockknockknockingonhootysdoor]

soooo what happened between darius alador and perry in that 'how could u do this to me? i thought you were my friends!' drawing of teen darius? 👀

in the particular doodle ur refering to, it could be either odalia/alador or eda/perry he's talking too.

the former bc they have gotten together and excluded darius a lot more so from their lives; its a culmination of the alador/darius friendship breakup. OR the latter for their interference in the love triangle and telling odalia to go for it, thinking they'd save darius from eventual heartbreak (bc they think alador kinda sucks), which is very counterintuitive. but they are.... like 15/16? they are not the brightest.

im trying to find the best wording for making this understandable with context but i'm literally the stupidest at media/ character analysis so my interpretations/headcanons for their relationships are all undercut to read if you want more context,,

ok so in my mind eda, raine, and lilith were a friend group and tentatively bc of raine's friendship with darius, he, perry, alador, and subsequentially odalia all... knew each other? hung out? were school friends? like clearly darius and perry got along with eda, raine and lilith more considering the nucleus gallery dana art.

so in a convoluted map of hormones you have: eda and raine slowburn 200k. alador and darius friends? mutual pining but totally not doing anything abt it? perry with an unrequited crush on darius. whatever tf odalia and alador have going on. and lilith is literally just standing there.

i think a lot of the groups issues involve a lot of assumptions and miscommunications. like eda and raine's relationship falling out bc of eda's assumptions that raine couldn't handle dealing with her and her curse and refusing to even tell them anything about it. or raine's assumption that eda's reluctance to open up to them has any bearing on eda's feelings for them for example.

i feel like the alador/darius/perry weird love triangle falls in a similar catergory. odalia assumes darius's feelings for alador are more surface level as opposed to having a genuine connection. she sees alador as a potential partner in the most literal sense; they could create a life together that benefited both of their ambitions.

[i also want to add i dont think odalia is trying to be like evil or anything here in this place in time. I think shes a teen who, given the competitive nature of societal rank and privileges within the coven system, wanted to do her damnest to find a good place in life. if that had to be with alador, so be it. she's self-serving here, only later as power and wealth became more present in her life and grasp, i think her self-service grew into apathetic greed.]

alador is literally like... the most guy ever where he's like... listless. Not to say he doesnt have interests or passions, clearly sharing many with darius, but the difference lies with the fact he doesn't know how to speak for himself to the detriment to himself [and later his children]. he just lets things happen to him. and i think thats really the crux of the fission with his friendship with darius is that he let him go without any regard to darius's feelings.

darius is so much more confident as an adult coven head that im of the mind that he wasnt always so. and i think this is probably before his mentorship with the prev Golden Guard so like he's just some guy so he doesn't have the experience to know what to do or feel in a lot of situations. least of all when it comes to his feelings. he's got a lot of bravado im sure but im sure its to cover his more caring nature. and so when his friends go behind his back and making decisions for his sake, he's very rightfully pissed and heartbroken.

for me, perry seems like a very unfortunate casualty in this. he just had a crush on this guy and that guy kinda liked this OTHER dude but that OTHER dude was in a slowburn divorce arc with this one girl in his Oracle track classes. so like, it would be a win for everyone if darius wasnt strung along and odalia and alador got together right?

and i think eda's just down to help her friends but again she's all action and no thought so i dont think she realized how fucked the situation actually was....

and again emphatically, lilith is literally just standing there.

[motownfiction]

the road ahead of us

Lola’s glad to know that St. Catherine’s has phased out the five-year class reunion. She can’t bear the thought of showing up with a picture of little baby Emily in her wallet but no date. She can’t bear to tell the truth about the circumstances of Emily’s birth, and she knows she would have to: People from St. Catherine’s love to tell the whole truth, like little witnesses, exactly what they were trained up to be. But Lola can’t bear the thought of it … can’t bear telling the people she used to sit next to in algebra that she dated a guy for three weeks, got pregnant by accident, and she didn’t care to look the guy up when she got her little surprise. She can’t bear to admit that she’s a little fuzzy on his last name.

She shares all of these anxieties with Kevin Sheehan, who’s been a damn good help these past few months. He recently moved back to their old suburb after getting a job at St. Catherine’s, teaching history to tenth graders. Lola remembers her own tenth-grade history class. Ms. Davies wasn’t the most attentive teacher in the world, so she either didn’t notice or didn’t mind the way Lola would sit in the back corner and doodle in her notebook for fifty-two minutes. Most of the doodles were hearts with Kevin’s name in them. But that was a long time ago … and it feels longer still.

Since college (and since having Emily earlier this year), Lola’s grown up quite a bit. She’s more committed to her goal of owning and operating her own restaurant one day. She’s looking into MBA programs, courtesy of Mom, Daniel, and Kevin saying they’ll look after Emily when she has to take classes at night. And she no longer lies awake at night having romantic fantasies about Kevin Sheehan kissing her passionately and tossing her into a new life. A better life. One with songs like a damn Disney movie. She doesn’t think about that anymore.

Kevin’s realer than he’s ever been.

Even after all the times they’ve kissed before, all the times they’ve hooked up, all the times they’ve laughed until they think they’ll pass out, Kevin has never felt quite so real to Lola before. He’s around all the time. He changes diapers. He spends hours in rocking chairs. He sings “Can’t Fight This Feeling” on a loop, as it’s sometimes the only song that will get Emily to calm down and go to sleep. And Lola knows that in another time, all this tenderness would have made her fall in love with Kevin like he’s a prince. But it’s just not that way anymore. He’s just Kevin. Just a good guy she loves because he’s good.

It is still, of course, welcome when he kisses her in the doorway late tonight.

He says all the right things. That he loves Lola. That he loves Emily. That he promises he could be a good father to Emily, really, if Lola only lets him. That it doesn’t matter that he’s not Emily’s biological father. He’s always loved her like she’s his. She is his, and he wants it to stay that way.

“I’m better when I love you,” Kevin says.

Lola’s known him long enough to know it’s not bullshit. She takes a deep breath.

“If you really want this,” she says, “if you really want to be Emily’s dad … the road ahead of us … it’s gonna be tough.”

“Doesn’t scare me. Does it scare you?”

“No.”

When he kisses her, she isn’t scared of that, either.

[squishylemonbubbles]

okay no i'm doing it. bear in mind my guy is a little more self inserty than others, but you don't have to reference anything shippy

name: shoichiro himura

location: kamurocho

active: 2010s, at least 2014-2018; probably about 28 by the time of judgement (2018)

role: matsugane family grunt with a "side gig" (kind of main gig)

first impression: i mean, he's got a perpetual scowl to rival kiryu's, stares like he's seeing ghosts, and he never talks (because he can't, he's nonverbal). so like. he can't do certain things on his own (again, the inability to talk) but he will provide backup for others. the impression is more or less "this guy is going to kill me"

deeper impression: even in the matsugane family most don't really try and get close with him. the best he gets is people trying to appease him and stay on his good side with little gifts like food. it doesn't help that when he's interested or excited, he stares even more intensely, because he can't express his thoughts and overthinks how to even approach the person.

inner reality: soft guy, wants people to like him and have friends. does what he needs to survive, given he's uneducated and unemployable by any normal means. doesn't necessarily like violence, but taking power over the kind of people who would hurt him and having some stability is nice.

communication: doesn't bring his AAC device along, though he has one, picture-based in specific. instead he uses noises, gestures, and occasionally a single word or two written on sticky notes. or doodles.

likely scenarios: accompaniment/extra muscle on a difficult collections run or other job, or uh... y'know. that whole side gig. (it's porn. his side gig is porn. can't talk, but he can take and dish out a lot.)

canon relationships: hamura's in charge of shoichiro's side gig; only a small group knows about/participates, and i'd say it did exist before shoichiro. doesn't have romantic interest in hamura, it's strictly business - that said, he does consider hamura a friend, for supporting him in the first place. shoichiro has a very low bar. on the more blatantly self inserty side of things, he's fixated on higashi. just ends up staring him down any time they meet, sometimes shoves random things into his hands. the gesture is not understood, and especially before kaito's expulsion, higashi is intimidated by him.

what you can do: if you're brave, reference his porn or have someone within the family recognise him for it, bwahahaha. i don't think anyone would be interested in writing smut but like just so my bases are covered here, ask me first?? other than that - references to him in general are fine, and bringing him along for the ride with other matsugane family members, as long as he isn't killed off. and like, don't make him talk lmao, he can't do that and he never will.

Yakuza OC registry

The idea is to reblog this post and list your OC with just enough basic info so that others can easily name drop or reference them as an easter egg! feel free to also link any other more substantial informational posts you have; for this thread let's keep it nice and quick! I'll go first

Name: Kadokura Kenshi

Likely locations: Sapporo, Tokyo, Osaka

Active period(s): 1970s+. Depends on AU. hes alive or dead whenever he needs to be

Role: powerful CEO of Sapporo-based arms company Rachi Heavy Industries. Has ties with yakuza, but more or less a reputable businessman.

Likely first/quick impression: smiling, sharply dressed businessman.

More detailed impression: very strong jawline, short wavy black hair, gregarious and friendly—in a way acts more American than Japanese. Expressive hands.

Likely scenarios: being polite to service workers/giving good tips, schmoozing with powerful people, speaking foreign languages, getting very intoxicated at clubs or parties, (rarely) serial killing a homeless person or someone else 'no one will miss.'

Canon relationships: friends with Sagawa and Andre Richardson. Close professional relationship with Kitakata Daizo. Ties with Jingweon before the massacre. Knows all the yakuza brass in both Tojo Clan and Omi Alliance. Koga Matsuhisa started out as an intern with Rachi Heavy Industries and they're friends now.

What can you do : no holds barred. kill him brutally if you want. i will laugh heartily.

[tenshindon]

sleepover time :)