#i have nothing against Rift Apart i just. want to be able to play the original trilogy on the pc w/o struggling to figure out how to emulate

[gutsfics]

omg yaaaay Ratchet and Clank game on pc now !!

> its Rift Apart

:/

[onetoomanyyy]

Can you do a relationship/friendship analysis of Nami and Ichiya with all your hcs and beautiful big brain

Okayyy 😋😋

I don’t even mind having to do all this writing because I love sharing my headcanons hehe

(I’ve touched on some amount of this previously, so I will probably skim over certain things.)

Ichiya and Namida met shortly after Ichiya first moved to Inkopolis, and quickly became friends. Ichiya was the first really close friend that Namida had, and while that wasn’t quite the same for Ichiya, he ended up treating Namida a lot better than he had his previous best friend, Beika. (He never really understood that Beika cared for him a lot more than he thought he did, but something about the way things ended between them made him feel as if he didn’t put enough effort into being Beika’s friend.)

Despite the different ways in which they learned to play (Namida with a typical music education and Ichiya being self-taught), they were able to bond over their love for music. Ichiya, who wanted to start a new band in Inkopolis to finally achieve all his rockstar dreams, brought up the idea once they had started regularly playing together. (Their styles didn’t really go together, but Namida’s piano was able to sort of fill in the cracks of Ichiya’s guitar, resulting in a more complete sound.) Namida, who had never considered being in a band but had been longing for something different, gladly agreed and they started up Squid Squad. 

They are best friends!! There’s hardly any canon evidence for this, but hey, there’s also nothing against it. that’s part of the fun of these characters; you get to make up so much stuff for them because you’re given so little. So..they are best friends!! They’re pretty affectionate with one another (mostly initiated by Namida; it took Ichiya a while to get used to it) which led to a lot of their fans speculating that they were dating. Just simple things, like always leaning on each other or bumping shoulders with the other while they were talking. This speculation got to a point where they started doing romantic things in public on purpose to mess with their fans more. (One of the few good things that came out of making a public appearance)

Namida didn’t mind it when Ichiya accidentally made a snide comment or something, which Ichiya greatly appreciated. However, this started to fade from her not minding it to straight up ignoring it, which stemmed from fear of a rift between the two and the already present tensions between him and Ikkan. She later wished that she spoke out more against his actions, which may have prevented things getting as bad as they did so soon. However, Ichiya thought that Squid Squad probably would have fallen apart regardless. Doomed by the narrative and all that

They didn’t see much of each other during the six or so years between the breakup and the formation of Front Roe, but neither of them ever really found a “replacement” for the other.

In the present day, Namida teases Ichiya a lot more, able to recognize his faults and call them out if needed. He feels she’s justified in this, even if sometimes it gets on his nerves. Their relationship was never unhealthy, but it’s definitely healthier now. They’re slowly easing back into being physically affectionate again. They regularly go out to eat together and are no strangers to crashing on each others’ couches. They are best friends !!

Thank you for the ask I always love to talk about my favorite fictional squid musicians :)

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

Rewriting Haggar/Honerva’s redemption arc

One of the many things that bothered me about VLD S8 is Honerva’s redemption arc. While I was never fully against the idea of Honerva getting a redemption arc, I just didn’t want VLD to do it because I knew that they would fuck it up if they tried. And low and behold, I was right!

But yeah, I wasn’t against the idea of her being redeemed. And I don’t mean “redeemed” as in “all is forgiven and she’s just a good guy now,” but more like a Darth Vader, “the things she did were inexcusable and she would never be able to right all her wrongs but she goes out on one good act to show that there was still good in her deep down and she at least had the potential to change.”

I know a lot of people don’t like the whole, “redemption=death” thing, which I understand, but I personally never had a problem with it.

Ok, so why didn’t Honerva’s redemption work? Well there are a few reasons but the one that baffles me the most is that, instead of trying to make her more sympathetic, season 8 seemed to go out of its way to show her being more evil and vile than ever.

And because I have nothing better to do, I’m gonna go through Honerva’s story in VLD and explain what I would change to make her redemption more believable.

(Keep in mind I am not a writer, this is just me ranting about my favorite character and how I personally would’ve written her.)

1. Realizing she’s Altean

I always thought it’s was weird that when Allura said “you’re...Altean!?” In the S2 finale, Haggar didn’t seem to react at all, she just kept attacking. It’s as if she didn’t care or already knew, which doesn’t make sense considering in the S3 finale and S8E2 it’s established that Haggar has no memory of who she was before she died. And in S4E3 she seems shocked by her Altean face (which also doesn’t make sense because her blue skin isn’t camouflage that’s just how she looks after the rift) so it seems like she didn’t know.

Wouldn’t it have made more sence if after Allura said “you’re...Altean!?” Honerva looked confused/shocked? If she became defensive and said Allura was lying/trying to insult her? There’s def anti-Altean propaganda in the empire so it would be considered an insult.

After that she starts questioning Zarkon. And when she looks into his mind, it’s out of genuine curiosity and desire to know the truth, not because, “the empire needs him” or whatever that meant.

And isn’t it a bit odd that she doesn’t seem betrayed at all when she finds out Zarkon has been keeping all this from her? She’s just like, “oh, you’re my husband? Cool.” Wtf???

2. Her past relationship with Zarkon

Okay, I love Zonerva, but if we’re being honest, Zarkon was not the best husband. He enabled the shit out of Honerva, even when it was obvious that the rift was doing serious damage to her physical and mental health. To me, it seems like Zarkon was so blinded by the power the rift gave him that he didn’t realize/ignored the negative effect it was having on Honerva. In the same way he downplayed the negative impact the rift had on the planet.

I think that should’ve been explored more. Maybe Honerva notices that she’s been acting differently and is worried somethings wrong (think S5 Kuron). And Honerva tries to tell Zarkon that she feels strange and Zarkon just brushes it off.

And later, when Alfor visits Diaibazaal years later. Things are pretty much the same except when we sees Honerva, she is very obviously pregnant and Alfor’s there when Honerva falls and goes into labor (instead of a random quintessence seizure). Alfor and many Galran doctors try their best to save her and the baby but she dies in childbirth.

Zarkon goes ballistic. He’s yelling, throwing doctors across the room, and Alfor turns to the doctor holding Lotor and tells them to get the baby to safely, fearing Zarkon will take his grief out on the baby.

Zarkon turns on Alfor, blaming him for Honerva’s death and accusing him of letting her die so that he could get his way and close the rift. He lunges Alfor and roars at him to leave.

He spends the rest of the night grieving at Honerva’s bedside, when Kova jumps on the bed and starts gnawing on her finger trying to wake her up. This is what gives him the idea to bring her back with quintessence.

3. Her current relationship with Zarkon

I think it’s pretty safe to say that they’re relationship didn’t get better after the war began. Zarkon hid her identity and her child from her for 10,000 years and essentially used her as a tool of war. It’s pretty fucked up.

I know it’s pretty well established that Zarkon treats Haggar with more respect than his other underlings, but I feel like it would be interesting to see that change overtime. We see that after Voltron comes back, Zarkon becomes very obsessed with Voltron/Black, and he and Haggar start disagreeing more and more.

Remember the moment where one of Haggar’s druids told Zarkon Haggar said he needed to rest and Zarkon hit them with his bayard and told them, “remember who your master is”? What if, instead of a random druid, it was Haggar who he hit?

I feel like that would be a good way to show Haggar and the audience just how much Zarkon’s obsession with Voltron is affecting him, and make the audience feel a tiny bit bad for her.

Then later in season 4, when Zarkon wakes up from his coma and finds out Haggar brought Lotor back to take his place he gets pissed. He puts a price on Lotor’s head and has Haggar arrested for treason. She steals a ship, escapes, and later on meets up with Lotor’s generals.

Her and Zarkon are officially broken up and her quest to reclaim her identity and get her son back begins.

4. Oriande

I never liked the concept of chosen/sacred Alteans. The idea that some Alteans are just born more powerful than others just feels iffy. My idea of Oriande is that it’s an Altean holly land, any Altean can enter it just depends on whether or not you can pass the White Lion’s trial. Passing the trial proves that your intentions are pure and and the White Lion will bless you with power.

I didn’t like how Honerva seemed to force her way into Oriande, I think it would be more effective if she had gone through normally because, at this point, her intentions were pure. She was going there to purge herself of the dark magic corrupting her and reclaim her memories so she could go get her son back.

I also like the idea that Oriande is a sorta link to the Altean after life, and you can speak with people you’ve lost. Allura gets to speak with Alfor, and Honerva speaks with her mother.

You could also have her be confronted by the spirits of the Alteans she helped destroy. Have the weight of her past actions bear down on her. An important part of any redemption arc is acknowledging the terrible shit you’ve done in the past, and that was severely lacking in Honerva’s arc.

Another interesting thing you could do is have Honerva talk to her younger self. The one that died 10,000 years ago. This kinda thing actually happened in 80s Voltron, young Haggar appearing in Haggar’s head trying to convince her to be good again.

5. Her relationship with Lotor

Now this is where the redemption arc really falls apart. I forget who, but one of the writers said after S5 that Haggar/Honerva was motivated purely by love for her son, but man did they do a bad job of showing that.

And it would’ve been so easy to fix that problem, just have her not be horrible to him. Have them have actual civil conversations, have her protect and defend him. Don’t have her reject him as a fucking baby!

Imagine if, after Zarkon destroys Lotor’s planet, instead of immediately deciding to

exile him, Zarkon says that this is the final straw and he’s going to have Lotor executed. But Haggar speaks up to defend Him. There’s actually a scene in DOTU where Zarkon tries to kill Lotor and Haggar gets on her knees and begs for him to be spared. (Though the scene was mostly played for laughs.)

she asks for mercy and justifies it by saying it would be unwise to kill his only heir. It’s a weak argument, Lotor’s a half breed and couldn’t realistically take the throne, but Zarkon does concede, he still loves her after all, and has Lotor exiled.

And Haggar isn’t spying on him because she doesn’t trust him, but because she’s concerned for him. When Lotor confronts Haggar about sending her cronies after him, she says she knows he’s hiding something. Lotor asks if she’s threatening him, thinking she’s going to rat him out, but she says no, she’s not threatening him, she’s just trying to warn him against doing anything stupid because, with Zarkon seemingly on his death bed, the empire needs Lotor’s leadership.

At this point in the story, Haggar is questioning her loyalty to Zarkon, so I feel like it would make sense for her to be silently supporting Lotor from the shadows.

Then at the Kral Zera in season 5, It was weird to me how she was helping Lotor through Kuron while also telling him he couldn’t be emperor and trying to put Sendak on the throne. I feel like it would’ve made more sense for Sendak to just show up on his own without Haggar.

Haggar wouldn’t even be at the Kral Zera, she would just watch through Kuron.

And then we get to S6 when she actually reveals to Lotor that she’s his mom. This scene was just so poorly done. She never actually apologizes to him, she’s just like “yeah I forgot you were my kid and I never loved you, but were cool now right?” I remember when I saw S8E2 and it shows her after Lotor rejects her and she looks like she’s about to cry, I was just thinking, “this would be very emotional and sad IF she had actually apologized and made it clear that she genuinely loved him.” But she didn’t and I don’t know why!

And then we get to season 8, and of course everything in S8 is bad but Honerva’s story is particularly bad. She’s supposed to be motivated by love for Lotor yet she doesn’t act like she actually cares about him at all.

She manipulates his corpse and when she sees his gross melted body, she doesn’t even react that much. When a mother sees her child’s mutilated corpse, how do you think she reacts? Screaming? Crying?? Hurling??? But no. She’s just like, “...”

And then when she goes to the alternate reality and meets baby Lotor and he rejects her, her reaction isn’t disappointment or sadness, it’s anger and entitlement. She immediately decides, “ok, fuck this kid. Let’s destroy this reality.”

It just doesn’t make sense! This is the season you’re trying to REDEEM her! Why are you going out of your way to make her so vile?

6. Her S7-S8 plan

(Keep in mind I haven’t watched S7/S8 since they came out and barely even watched S8 to begin with, so I don’t remember some things and I can’t be bothered to rewatch them.)

Okay, starting with S7, she’s not in this season at all but in “The Ruins” the druid dude says that her final order was to hunt and destroy the Blade of Marmora. I guess it makes a certain amount of sense because she saw that it was Keith who brought Lotor’s actions to light, but that whole plot was really pointless in my opinion. (Was anybody really hoping for a rematch between Keith and that one random druid?)

If you want us to forgive Honerva for her crimes, you really shouldn’t keep adding more unnecessary crimes. It’s established that there were a lot of Galra war lords vying for power and pirates looking for money, just have it be that Kolivan got kidnapped by one of them.

Then you have her season 8 plan and I’m gonna be real with y’all, I have no idea how to fix this mess.

I feel like the basics of her plan could work. She tries to get Lotor and Sincline out of the rift but when she gets him he’s a melted corpse so the plan then becomes to use sincline to go to another reality to find a living Lotor, but opening all these rifts causes problems and the paladins have to stop her.

But all the shit with manipulating the colony Alteans, killing the White Lion, desecrating Oriande, and destroying Olkarion and entire realities, it was all so unnecessary.

Personally I would cut the colony Alteans from the story all together, there are other ways for Lotor to betray the team. It was a lazy way of making Lotor 100% evil and having Honerva manipulate them is unnecessarily cruel, especially in the season you’re trying to redeem her.

Here’s a very basic outline of how I would do this plot.

If we’re going by season 8’s logic that she needs a sacrifice to bring back Sincline, I would’ve had the Galra she killed at the Kral Zera be the sacrifice, not the White Lion. She stands on the pyramid and talks about how the empire stole her life from her and she wants revenge as she absorbs their quintessence into herself and then uses that to bring back Sincline.

Then when she finds Lotor dead she takes Sincline and uses it to go to another reality where she can be with her family.

The danger comes when she opens rifts to the other realities and rift creatures start coming out and causing damage. The paladins fight them and follow her into the rift to stop whatever evil plan she may have. Because the paladins don’t know that Haggar is now Honerva and all this is just to get Lotor back. They think this is all some plan for multiverse domination or some shit.

Meanwhile Honerva has just been rejected by little Lotor and seeing Voltron show up pushes her over the edge and they fight.

But when they find out the real reason she’s doing all this they start trying to appeal to her and convince her to give up and close the rift peacefully. And similarly to how the paladins had to sacrifice the castle to close the rifts created by the fight with Lotor, Honerva has to sacrifice herself to close the rifts.

In the end, I feel like a Honerva redemption arc could’ve worked if the writers were actually competent and actually made an effort to have her be sympathetic, but In canon, her reasoning, “If I can’t indulge in the simple joys of life, why should anybody else?” just doesn’t cut it.

It’s disappointing. VLD had so much potential. I’m thinking of just rewriting the entire series from the beginning. Hopefully putting all my thoughts out into the universe will help me move on.

[goldensstateofgrace]

Day and Night.

Requests || Main Masterlist || Spencer Masterlist || Prompt list 

Prompts: 2) "You're so cute when you're sleepy." 11) ."Just lie with me for a while. I'm not ready to get up." (also this wasn’t requested I just felt inspired) 

Summary: Y/n appreciates the Day and Night part of the job. 

Warnings: fluff, nothing else I think (if there is send me a ask and I’ll add it no question!! <3)

Word count: 1K+

Hope you enjoy!! Happy reading!! <33 - G

-

-

One would think, spending all day with someone and then going home and spending even more time with them would eventually cause a rift in the relationship, but no. 

When you’re in a relationship with someone, who is also your coworker, they understand that when you are on the job or not at home, that you both need to act professional. 

That’s why it’s so easy with Spencer. He knows what needs to be done when you are not at home, he knows he needs to get the job done safely and professionally, so that you both can go home together at night. 

That’s also why you take advantage when you both have the, very rare, days off. Just cuddling and being in each other’s presence. 

It’s honestly, very rare, that you get to do this.

So when you wake up in the morning and feel eyes on you, it doesn’t surprise you that Spence is just watching you sleep, “bub, it’s too early,” you groan, snuggling deeper into his warmth as his arms tighten around your waist. 

He chuckles softly, moving some sparse hairs off of your forehead and placing a gentle, sweet kiss upon it. 

“You’re so cute when you’re sleepy,” he whispered into the top of your head. He runs his hands through the back of your hair, his other holding you tightly to his chest from your waist. 

“Mhm,” you hum, your eyes closed as you soak in the warmth of his body being so close to yours. 

You feel the shake of his chest as he chuckles at your reply, “baby, you gotta get up soon. We promised to go to JJ’s to watch Henry and Michael for them,” he reminds you. 

You silently curse in your thoughts, all you wanna do is stay in his arms. 

"Just lie with me for a while. I'm not ready to get up," you mumbled into his chest. If it was even possible, you cuddled further into him. Your face was buried in his neck as your left arm was wrapped around his back. 

You both hadn’t realized, but you both fell back to sleep. Only waking up when a phone started to ring loudly through the relativity small room. 

You woke up to Spencer's cheek leaning down on top of your head, his neck bent is what has to be an uncomfortable position. 

When the ringing stopped, you were still half asleep so you started to fall back asleep, that was until it started up again. 

Groaning, you pushed up and leaned across Spence’s still asleep body to reach for your phone. 

“Hello?” you answer groggily, your voice filled with sleep. 

“Y/n? Hey, are you and Spence still coming to watch the boys?” JJ’s voice filters through the phone speaker. 

Your eyes widen at her words, pulling the phone from your ear you check the time, which read 11:24 am, you didn’t realize you fell asleep for so long. Or at all for that matter.  

“Yes!” you tell her, starting to shake Spencer awake.

You didn’t have to shake Spencer too much, he woke up quickly looking at you with sleep filled, crusty eyes. He woke up more, and flung himself out of bed quickly to start getting dressed when you pointed to the phone that was still against your ear and mouthed ‘JJ’. 

“JJ, I’m so sorry, we must have fallen back to sleep. We’ll be there soon,” you tell her, quickly getting out of bed and rooting around in your dresser for clothes. 

“Ok, don’t rush, and drive safe. See you when you guys get here,” she told you before you both said bye and hung up the phone. 

You quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t- shirt before making your way to the bathroom. Spencer came out as you went in, dressed in a pair of black pants with a dress shirt tucked into them, and cardigan over top. 

 He looked good, really good. 

But you can’t think of that right now, so you busy yourself with brushing your teeth and hair before you just decide to pull it back into a ponytail. 

After you do everything you need to do in the bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen where Spencer has made you a to go coffee and some toast. 

“You're the best, bub,” you tell him, leaning up to place a kiss on his lips. He smiles into the kiss, pecking you a few times before pulling back. 

“Come on, we gotta go,” he tells you, grabbing his messenger bag and the car keys before holding the apartment door open for you. 

“Ah, thank you kind, sir. Such a gentleman,” you tease, walking out the door after grabbing your own bag. 

He shakes his head in amusement, “you’re such a goof,” he chuckles, intertwining his fingers with yours. 

You smile up at him, “but I’m your goof.” 

The ride to JJ’s house isn’t long, and surprisingly there wasn’t much traffic for a saturday at noon. 

You had just knocked on the door when it quickly jerked open and a small voice shouted “Uncle Spencer!” before your boyfriend was attacked in a tight hug by his godson. 

You chuckle at Spencer’s surprised face, walking into the house of your coworker and best friend. You find her in the kitchen, cleaning Michaels face of remnants of his messy breakfast. 

“Aunt Y/n!” his small voice calls when he sees you walk in. 

“Hi, little man! Are you ready for a fun day?” you ask, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

“Hey, how are you?” JJ asks, pulling you into a hug. 

“I’m good! are you ready for your day away?” you ask, hugging her back. Her and Will don’t get much time by themselves, so on the rare occasion that the whole team has a day or two off they try to take a few hours for themselves. 

Normally they’d have a babysitter, but their normal girl had a shift at her other job so they called you and Spence, who were happy to spend time with your nephews. 

 “Very, we're probably just gonna get lunch then shop for henry’s birthday present,” her voice turns into a whisper as you both notice Spencer and Henry walk into the kitchen. 

You nod at her words, “sounds good, take you guys’ time. I’m gonna enjoy some cuddles from my favorite little men,” you say picking Michael up and tickling his small tummy. Which pulled tiny giggles from him. 

You and Spencer spent all day with the boys, watching movies and playing with lego’s, Spencer even read with Henry for a little while before you put Michael down for a nap. Henry even fell asleep for a while when watching a movie. 

It was so cute, his head was leaning on Spence’s arm, his cheek was squished up and he looked so cute. 

Now it’s past 9pm and you both are getting ready for bed. JJ and Will came home around 7pm with dinner so you stayed and ate with them before heading home. 

Getting into bed after being in the bathroom, Spencer is reading a book as he leans against the headboard. You kiss his cheek before laying down and getting comfortable. 

He puts his book down on the side table, and turns your way as he lays down too,”today was good, I love spending time with them,” he tells you. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer. 

You nod,”I do too, I can’t wait for that someday.” 

He smiles softly as your hand cups his cheek, your thumb stroking softly, “are you telling me you want kids?” he teases, nudging his nose with yours. 

You giggle, “no, well, someday. Not right now though, I don’t want to share you just yet,” you tell him. 

You had been together for almost two years now, and you couldn’t be more in love with him. But something in you, even if it’s a selfish part of you, doesn’t want to share him just yet. You want him to yourself for a little longer. 

You're ok with being an aunt for right now. 

Of course you had talked about kids before, but it was just if you wanted them. Which you do, you both do. 

“I don’t want to share you yet either,” he tells you. He pecks your lips softly before resting his forehead on yours. 

“I love you, bub,” you whisper, tangling your legs with his to get impossibly closer. 

“I love you, Y/n. so much,” he mumbles, leaning down and capturing your lips in a soft, gentle kiss. 

Spending all day and night with someone would cause a rift for anyone else. But not for you and Spencer. 

Getting to wake up, and fall asleep in his arms. It makes you appreciate him even more, you could lose him at any time in your line of work. Yet when you're in his arms, and you can hear and feel his heartbeat,it feels like time stops and you and him are the only people in the world. 

Being in his arms makes you appreciate life so much more than you could ever imagine. Knowing you could lose him at a snap of a finger, that anything could happen and you’d never be able to see him again. 

Well that’s why, Day and Night, is the best part of your day.

//

Feedback is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed!! 🥰💗

[spider6oy]

Details || JJ Maybank

summary: Y/N has a crush on JJ, but he has no idea about it. Instead of confronting him and telling him, she has to suffer and listen to him brag about his hookups/watch him flirt with random tourons until she can’t anymore and ends up distancing herself from JJ. basically this is inspired by maisie peters’ song ‘details’, so i would recommend giving that a listen whilst you read this because that song would describe this better than i can.

warnings: swearing, under-age drinking, angst (if that’s even what you can call this)

word count: 2430

“Well, well, well. . . look at what the cat dragged in.” Kiara commented as she took a sip from her bottle of beer, catching the Pogues’ attention and turning it towards the blonde fast approaching the porch.

“JJ, what was the hold up, man? Didn’t we say to meet for ten?” Pope questioned, leaning against the railing.

You watched as JJ walked up the steps of The Chateau with a smirk tugging at his lips. You couldn’t help but catch glimpses of dark red bruises that started at the top of his neck and disappeared under the collar of his shirt, his blonde hair seemed shaggier than usual – as if someone had been running their fingers through it continuously and he was wearing the exact same clothes that he had been wearing the day before.

He had hooked up.

“Yeah, sorry guys, but I got a bit held up. . . if you know what I mean?” He sent the group a suggestive look that had Pope and John B hooting and hollering, congratulating the boy, but you were far from jovial.

You had been crushing on JJ since December of last year. You had always been close with him, ever since you were kids. You, JJ, and John B had been the core-3 until Pope and Kiara had joined the Pogues. But you had always been closer to JJ. You had put it down to the fact that you practically told each other everything; dreams, nightmares, future plans, current plans. There were no secrets between you two. That’s what had made the bond between you two so strong and unbreakable. Well, that was until your heart decided to latch itself onto JJ and never let go.

Ever since you had developed your crush on JJ, a rift had erupted between the two of you and you both could tell. You hung out with each other less; JJ was either with John B or some random Touron and you were either in your room (alone) or with Kie. You talked less; you couldn’t remember a time where you hadn’t had a goodnight or good morning message from JJ. Finally, you didn’t share your secrets. But, how could you? How could you tell JJ that you had a crush on him? How could you tell the boy you had known practically your whole life that you were in love with him? You couldn’t. You had decided that from the beginning.

You had gone over this conversation so many times in your head and you always came up with the same answers. One; No Pogue on Pogue macking. Two; It could (and would) potentially ruin the friendship. And three; He probably wouldn’t feel the same – that was the deal breaker. And it didn’t matter how many times Kiara would tell you that JJ felt the same, and that you should go for it, because in your mind he could never possibly feel the same way. If he did, why would he still be sleeping with other people?

“Oh my gosh, Bro, you should have seen her though. Like, when I tell you she was into some freaky shit—I mean, she was into some freaky shit. . .” You couldn’t listen anymore.

You turn towards Kie, who was sat next to you, and it seemed she already knew what you were thinking. She gives your arm a sympathetic squeeze and tells you that she would call you tomorrow, sending you a supportive smile. You try and smile back, but you know it probably looks forced.

As you stand from the bench, all eyes seem to land on your frame.

“Hey, are you leaving? We haven’t even gone fishing yet?” John B questioned, confused.

“Yeah, you can’t leave, I haven’t even gotten to the best part!” JJ added – which made you just want to burst into flames right there on the spot.

You tried to play it cool, rolling your eyes lightly and pushing the strap of your bag higher up onto your shoulder. “And I would so love to hear that, JJ, but I just remembered that I was meant to be helping my Dad with something today, and just completely forgot. I’m really sorry guys, but I promise I’ll make up for it.” You shot them all apologetic glances and quickly made your way down the steps of The Chateau, wanting nothing more than to just curl up in your bed and cry yourself to sleep.

-

It was a Friday night and the Pogues were throwing a kegger. You were currently sat on a log next to Kiara, laughing at something Pope had said, and were taking large sips from your cup of beer. “Okay, okay listen. Looking back on it now, being on the math team may have put me at a disadvantage in some perspectives--”

“Some? More like all, Pope.” Kiara argued, a laugh slipping from between her lips.

“Well, what if we had to suddenly solve an algebra equation?” Pope countered, gesturing with his hands, as if they could argue for him.

“Why would we need to suddenly solve an algebra problem? When would that ever happen?” Kiara bartered back.

You couldn’t help but giggle from your perspective of the conversation. The pair seemed to be becoming more engrossed in the argument as time went on and you couldn’t help but think that maybe they would make a cute couple – if they would stop arguing for 5 seconds. You continued to drink, laugh, and basically have a good time, until JJ showed up. With a girl.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” JJ asked as he sat down on a log opposite from you, bringing the girl down to sit on his lap. The taste of the beer in your mouth quickly began to turn sour and you suddenly had the urge to throw up.

“Hey JJ, who’s your. . . friend?” Kie questioned, subtly shifting closer towards you as a sign of comfort. Your grip on the red plastic cup tightened, almost to the point of crushing it, as you watched JJ squeeze the girls’ side – who you learnt was called Jessica.

It hurt. It hurt like hell watching as JJ acted so affectionately towards this random Touron; who he would no doubt forget about by this time tomorrow. You watched as he whispered unheard words into her ear, eliciting small giggles and flirtatious smiles from Jessica. You watched as his hand seemed to rest on the bare skin of her thigh, his thumb rubbing small circles into the skin. You watched as he stared at the girl with hunger and lust filled eyes, probably wanting nothing more than to leave the party and take her back to The Chateau. You watched every single small movement and action, feeling like your heart was tearing apart bit by bit as you continued to witness their displays of affection. All you could think about was how much you wanted to be that girl sat on JJ’s lap, wanting him to be holding you protectively and whispering sweet nothings into your ears.

You finally tore your gaze away from the couple and turned towards Kie, tears already brimming in your eyes. “Hey, Kie, I gotta—I gotta go. I just. . . I can’t stay and watch, y’know?” Your voice was a whisper, but the painful tone you used was clear as day.

Kiara nodded and gave your hand a small squeeze, “Yeah, I understand Y/N. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” You sent Kiara one last pitiful smile before standing from your spot on the log.

“Wait Y/N, are you leaving already?” You stopped at the sound of JJ’s questioning tone. You nod at him, somehow not having the confidence in yourself to speak; unsure of how your voice would come out. You didn’t want to let everyone know that you were practically on the edge of a full-blown meltdown. “But the party has barely even started? You can’t be drunk already?” You roll your eyes (silently praying that a tear wouldn’t slip out) and stifle a laugh.

“Just feeling a bit off is all JJ, must have been a bad keg, or something.” You hoped that JJ didn’t notice the lie. He used to be able to tell whenever you were lying, it was easy as breathing to him. It was just another way that showed how close you two were. You couldn’t lie to each other. But recently your lies were not being questioned, instead being taken as the truth.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” You didn’t stay to wait for a response. Instead, you turned on your heel and headed for the road that lead you away from The Chateau.

-

You wiped the stream of tears falling down your cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt. You had left The Chateau about 10 minutes ago and had done nothing but cried as you continued to walk home. Your sobs and sniffles seemed to echo in the quiet night, easily alerting anyone around you that you were crying. You were hopeful that no one was around. You had to continually remind yourself that everyone was down by The Chateau, and that no one would be able to hear your cries from here.

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N!”

Scratch that, one person could hear your cries. Possibly the last person you would want to catch you crying.

At the sound of JJ’s fast approaching footsteps; you quickly wiped at your face, trying to rid yourself of all your tears (and any possible hint that you had been crying). You turned around to see him jogging the last few steps – no Jessica in sight. You wiped your nose as JJ came to stand a few feet away from you, hands instantly going into the pockets of his shorts. “Hey, what was that back there?” You shrugged your shoulders and silently fiddled with the sleeves of your shirt.

“I thought I told you? I’m just feeling a bit off.” You answered, staring at the ground in front of you.

“Yeah, ‘off’ is one way of putting it.” JJ remarked, kicking a random stone with his boot.

You looked up from the floor and sent him a confused look, “What’s that supposed to mean, JJ?” He scoffed as he finally looked towards you.

You prayed that the lack of light camouflaged your red and puffy eyes.

“Are you seriously going to play dumb with me right now, Y/N? Me, of all people?” You could hear the frustration and sadness in his voice, even the slight wobble that clung to the ends of his words. You nervously bit at your lip, trying to drag your eyes away from his but you couldn’t. “We both know something has been off between us recently. I don’t know when it started, and frankly I don’t care. All I care about is the fact that my best friend is pulling away from me and I need to know why?” His voice was almost at a shout now, all of his emotions seeming to get the better of him. You stood there silent; knowing what to say but not wanting to say it. “Why, Y/N?!” JJ was shouting now.

“I don’t want to talk about, okay?” You retorted, tears beginning to fall once again.

JJ dragged a hand through his hair in frustration, taking a step towards you. “No, that’s not ‘okay’ Y/N. It’s completely not ‘okay’ with me! Why have you been pulling away from me?! Do you not want to be friends anymore, or something? Is that it?!” You could tell that he was unravelling now. His emotions were finally taking over. He was all over the place; voice wavering, arms flailing, tears streaming. You sobbed at the sight; wanting nothing more than to take the step forward and wrap your arms around him. But now wasn’t the right time. Right now, he was angry with you.

“No, No, that’s not it JJ! I promise, I do want to be friends with you—”

“Then tell me what the fuck’s going on, Y/N!” His voice cracked, “Just. . . please, Y/N.” He practically begged.

You looked up at him (the both of you subconsciously moving closer and closer together) watching as the tears spilled from his pain-filled eyes, his lips wobbling as he tried to hold in the sobs that clearly wanted to escape. You didn’t doubt the fact that your expression probably mirrored his. You stifled a sob as you held your shirt sleeve up to your mouth, trying to somehow silence your cries long enough for you to get your words out.

“I’m in love with you, JJ.”

His eyes widened and more tears seemed to escape. He blinked rapidly as he took a slight step back. Your heart clenched at the very sight and you felt as though all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the air.

“You—You’re in love with me? Y/N, wha--?” His words came out in mumbles. All of his emotions seemed to water down until he was left with one; confusion.

You protectively crossed your arms over your chest, your hands resting on your shoulders -- as if in some way this would protect your heart and keep it from breaking even more. “Listen JJ, I’m not expecting you to feel the same way. Honestly, I’m not. And—and that’s fine with me, it really is. But, I can’t. . . I can’t listen to you talk about your one-night stands, and I can’t sit and watch you flirt with Jessica, or Jennifer, or whoever else you plan on macking in the future. Because it just hurts too much, JJ.” You let out a shaky breath, wiping the remnants of your fallen tears.

“Y/N—”

“So, let’s not talk about it, let’s just. . . not talk about it JJ, alright? Let’s just, pretend like it never happened okay?” You nod at your own words, more as an attempt at convincing yourself than JJ. “I’ll just keep this all to myself and then, you’ll keep it all to yourself.” You let out a bated breath as you begin to take steps away from the blonde in front of you, trying to run away from the mess you had just created. “But, just spare me the details, JJ.” You look up at JJ one last time before turning on your heels and walking away from him. Leaving him all alone under the glow of a flickering street light with only one thing on his mind; he was in love with you too.

part 2

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Kara Danvers x Reader : Chose

Angst 20 -“ Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”   Fluff 2 -“ It’s you, it always has been.”  

Genre: Bit of Angst w/ Fluff

Word Count: 1,419

* * * * * *

Wind brushes past you. You focus your senses on this feeling. Floating thousands of miles in the sky, the hum of the city below you, and the stars seeming to be in arms reach.

You take a deep breath in and smile softly.

Rao you love being able to fly.  

The faint sound of a siren wailing catches your attention and you focus in on it. With a deep inhale, you shoot across the sky, releasing the breath as you do. In seconds you’re flying above the three police cars chasing a truck. 

The situation becomes clear when the trucks back door is yanked open, two men standing in the back with rifles. As always they make the mistake of firing at you. 

“You’d think they get it by now.” Her soft voice sounds from right beside you and somehow you’re heart flutters and breaks all over again.

Glancing over, you find blue eyes looking back at you, a soft smile on her pink lips.

Not having a reply for her, you clench your fist and address the threat. 

Turns out they aren’t just a merry band of misfits. After they run out of normal bullets, they exchange their guns for some very high tech weapons. 

Winn assists you two from the D.E.O, telling you all that the weapons’ power sources are definitely alien but nothing you can’t handle. They’re heat weapons and luckily neither yourself or Kara are effected by fire. 

It takes a minute, but you eventually disarm them and stop the truck. You and Kara hang around a bit until the police have them squared away in their cars and the weapons confiscated.

“Another win for the super friends.” Winn exclaims as you and Kara walk in from the D.E.O’s balcony. 

You lean against the table in the middle of the command center,“ we really need to get a source on these weapons. I know there’s a lot of alien tech that came from the debris of Fort Rozz but this is insane. Every bad guy has an alien weapon now.” 

“She’s right,” J’onn comes in, Alex by his side as usual,“ someone must be selling them.”

“I can try tracing the heat sigs,” Winn spins around in his chair and types at lighting speed,“ they were pretty high levels so if someone is indeed selling them I should be able to pinpoint where they. . are.” It’s quiet for a second.“ Bingo!”

All eyes flick to the many monitors ahead. 

Alex steps forward,“ they’re selling out shipping containers on the docks. Why there? The Fort Rozz crash site is right here in National City.”

You sigh,“ because local police forces don’t really bat too many eyelashes at high activity on the docks. It’s usual that there’s a large amount of equipment moving in and out of there. It’s likely they’d let some alien parts disguised as normal tech slide.” 

J’onn is quick to get a team ready to go, sending you and Kara ahead as usual. 

Tension is thick, even with the two of you in open air, flying above the city. It translates into your fighting.

Before, you and Kara fought together as if you were attachments of one another. No communication needed, you stopped threats without breaking a sweat. Now though, due to recent events that’s not the case. Even as you two talk, things get lost in communication. 

Luckily with the help of the D.E.O. you neutralize the threat and secure the weapons. Instead of returning to the D.E.O, you check in with J’onn and head home. 

Tonight is game night and you have to gather your thoughts before you end up sitting in Kara’s apartment for hours. Especially with everyone acting as if things are perfectly fine. 

All of your friends are aware of the rift between you and Kara. They all knew about the reason for it but not the reason behind the reason. Not even you know the reason behind the reason. 

You just know that the choice she made changed everything between you two. And that it hurt like hell. 

By the time you have to arrive you’re feeling a little better mentally. Enough for you to at least act like being in Kara’s place is perfectly fine. You manage to get through two and a half games, laughing with everyone, and joking around. 

That stops though when you catch Kara’s eyes. It’s clear she’d been looking at you for a minute now and the emotion in those pools of blue once again makes your heart pound and break. 

“Excuse me guys.” You pat James’ shoulder and head over to the kitchen. 

You can hear Kara excuse herself as well and walk over after you and you can feel her eyes on you as you pull her fridge open. 

Turning back to the island, you sigh and catch her gaze, eyebrows pinching together,“ don’t look at me like that.” 

“Like what?” Her head tilts just barely and the look remains.

“Like you still love me.”  

Your words make her breath hitch. She gulps and taps nervously on the counter top, you know if she keeps it up she’s going to dig a substantial hole in the wood.

She speaks, voice wavering in the slightest,“ I do love you.”

A scoff falls from your lips,“ just not enough though right?” Her pained expression returns.“ Not more than you loved him.”

Her shoulders sag at your words. She doesn’t know how to tell you that’s not true because you have every right to believe it is. Kara knew full well that you loved(love) her and she admitted to loving you too. Yet and still she ended up dating Mon-El. 

The decision to do so shocked everyone and broke you. While she doesn’t regret being with Mon-El, she has always loved you and always will. 

“Y/n,” she rounds the corner to stand at your side,“ it was never about who I loved more.” 

Eyebrows pinch together,“ so what was it exactly? Was I not as good as the Daxamite prince?”

“I never said that and I would never compare you and Mon-El.” Determination and honesty set in those big blue eyes.“ It’s you, it always has been.”

This time your shoulders drop, her words sinking in but still not making much sense seeing as that wasn’t the case before.“ Then why? Why choose him and not me?” 

“I was scared okay.” Tears begin to well in both your eyes.“ Y/n, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. What if we broke up or fought and we couldn’t fix it-”

“Kara we fought as friends. We went days without talking but we always worked through it, that’s how much we meant to each other. We always tried for each other. That wouldn’t have been any different if we dated.” 

Both of you know your friends are listening. Even though you’re speaking quietly, they noticed how long you two had been gone and stopped talking to listen. 

The blonde looks down ashamedly,“ I know that now, I just didn’t think about it then. But I’ve long since stopped being afraid.”

“Wh-” your gaze snaps up to hers,“ what’d you mean?” 

“I mean,” taking a deep breath, she steps closer,“ if you’ll have me, I want there to be an us. More than there was before. Romantically I mean.” She rushes out the last bits and you chuckle. 

She’s a little shocked when you raise your hand to cup her cheek. A smile of her own forming at the sight of yours. 

Leaning forward, you rest your forehead against hers.“ You broke my heart pretty bad Danvers.” 

“I promise I’ll fix it.” 

With the breath of her words fanning your lips, you close the short distance. Lips meet in a long awaited kiss. The cheers of your friends behind you blocked out by the rush of feelings and warmth. How either of you had gone years without this is lost on you but so worth it. 

“We are still playing a game you know.” J’onn is the first to break your moment up, shortly followed by teasing comments from everyone else, and calls to come back over. 

Kara’s hand in yours, you both rejoin your friends. The tension no long there, the night continues smoothly. Laughter rings loud and surprisingly, none of you are pulled away by some alien threat. 

It’s the first night in a long time that everything as perfect as possible. 

[fourmarkdove]

Fawn - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

Title: Fawn - Part 3

Words: 3.2k

Summary: Yennefer confirms Geralt’s suspicions and a rift is created between you and the White Wolf. Angst. Suggested smut. Fluff. Hurt/comfort.

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, miscarriage, abortion. If you’re triggered PLEASE skip ahead. Please check out the trigger warnings (tw:) in the tags!

A/N: Don’t blame me. It was that fricking wish! I’m not happy about it, either, but it’s canon. Comments welcome. Thanks for reading as always!

Like an expectant father waiting outside the delivery room, Jaskier paced just outside the tent while Geralt sharpened his sword near the fire.

“No. Get out before I portal you away,” Yennefer demanded yet again when the bard poked his head in and asked for an update. 

“She’ll come out when she’s ready,” the burly Witcher grunted. Another plume of purple smoke rose from the tent door and static sizzled inside. Jaskier began thinking of a verse that needed to rhyme with “plume.”

Wiping her hands, she emerged and motioned at Jaskier: “Watch her. Geralt, you’re with me.”

Sauntering across the way to her own much larger, and much more richly furnished tent, Geralt followed behind like a puppy.

“Well?”

“Well? Well, I saved her life, darling,” the raven haired woman smirked, turning to face him once they reached the foot of her lavish bed. Tossing aside the cloth, she twirled a finger and a dozen candles lit around the space.

He was not impressed by simple tricks. “What happened? It wasn’t just poison, was it? It was a curse.”

“Yes, my love,” she sighed, bored with conversation, so she lifted his shirt and ran both hands up his muscular torso, making the tense fibers just under his skin twitch. “I lifted it though.”

Craning his neck low, he crushed his mouth to her plump lips. The relief and gratitude expressed in his kiss melted when feral heat took over. They were souls bound together by a wish he made years ago to save her life. As such they were drawn time and again to this exact moment.

She moaned, tugging at the ties on his breeches pressed against her stomach. Biting down on his bottom lip suddenly, she flattened her palms to his chest and pushed him back to the bed, intent on climbing him and claiming payment for a job well done.

*

“So she’ll be able to travel soon?” Geralt huffed lazily, one arm under his head on the pillow. 

“You’re really taking her back to her father?” Yennefer sighed, playing with the glistening sweat droplets along the center of his chest.

“That’s the plan.”

“Well, if you do travel with her just have her take it easy the next few days.”

“Why?” He arched an eyebrow down at the naked woman still tangled up with him under the sheets.

“Well, she’s with child, Geralt. But the child is much smaller than it should be. She probably needs to see a real healer to have it dealt with anyway - given the circumstances.”

His brow furrowed sharply and he gripped her upper arms, dragging her off of him as he sat up. “Dealt with...?”

She sighed, running the back of her fingers down the sinews of his forearm. “Mm. She told me who the father is. I just went to his wedding just last month. It's a bad idea to show your new bride your bastard child. So yes… dealt with.”

“Wedding?” he mirrored, breaking into a cold sweat. “Did you tell her this?”

Yennefer shrugged and rolled over. “I alluded to it. Hmm. You know she may not need a healer on second thought. Baby isn’t well. Body might try to reject it after this, so watch for - where are you going?”

Stepping into his breeches, he glanced over his shoulder at the raven haired woman lounging in bed still. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Why? Did you want to attend with me? The food was decent but the wine was weak. I so would have loved to have dressed you, though.”

His frustrated growl was not lost on her but she didn’t budge by the threatening sound of it. “She told me where you met. Geralt, I said I’d try to save her life but she’s your whore. I’ve done more than enough here, my love. If you leave this tent tonight, I’ll be gone by daybreak.”

He didn’t even have his pants tied before he stalked out of the tent barefoot into the dewy grass. Jaskier heard him coming from his own cot opposite yours. Finding it quite impossible to sleep anyway, he met the Witcher at the tent flap opening.

“That witch gave her something to sleep but it’s not quite doing its job,” the bard forewarned, touching Geralt’s shoulder. He held his friend back just a moment longer to catch his golden-eyed attention. “It’s not you she’s been calling for.” 

Jaskier excused himself, ducking past his friend breathing hard with his jaw clenched. Every muscle up the back of his legs and across his spine snapped into tension; the coppery scent of bloody cloths left on the table sent his senses into a frenzy the moment he stepped inside.

“N… no… n...” you moaned in your fitful sleep, writhing and grasping at the pillow under your head.

Cat eyes dilated in the near dark, his attention drew to the shadow of your body tucked under a thin blanket. In two strides, he dropped by your side and dragged the tear-soaked hair from sticking to your cheeks. 

Your head rocked back and forth on the pillow, your expression wrought with grief, one hand grasping at nothing but air until his fingers closed over it. 

He lifted his brows in the center, anguish lining his forehead. Your breathing came in hiccups, clearly crying in your nightmare.

“Wake up, little fawn,” he rumbled, pulling deep from within to sound calm so as not to frighten you. “Come on, wake up.”

“Ah…” Your legs shifted under the blanket and you inhaled deeply.

Your wet eyelashes flashed open, revealing still slightly ink-stained black tears rolling down your cheeks. “Where is he? Where’s Acheros?”

Rolling his eyes at the sound of his name, Geralt backed up into the shadow of a tent peg. “That’s a good fucking question.”

“Why did he leave me in that horrible place?” You pressed, eyes bleary from tears, pain and exhaustion.

“Hmm,” he grunted, sitting back against the other cot.

“He said he’d always come find me. ‘Nothing in all of eternity could keep us apart,’ he said.”

Another frustrated grunt as Geralt sat back. As Jaskier stoked the flames of the fire outside, the walls of the canvas tent illuminated with flicks of orange light.

You stayed silent a long time, letting the length and breadth seep into your conscious thought. Curling up on yourself, you rolled over into the tent wall and away from the brutish man sitting in silence across from you. “Is it true? Did he - get married - without me?”

“Mmm,” Geralt hummed in the affirmative, dropping his head back as the reflected orange flames danced on the ceiling. He cursed under his breath. 

There is a screech a striga makes when you deliver that final death strike straight through its heart; the sound is horrendous up close. Because of their circulation system, it takes them a moment to go, all the while realizing they’ve met their end. And then there is the soft little squeak of a rabbit as its neck is being broken. It doesn’t understand what is happening to it and doesn’t expect the end.

Neither startled cry at their moment of death is as difficult to listen to as your trembling gasp and wailing sob at the exact moment your heart broke in two.

Snarling his upper lip in disgust, he planted a fist on the ground to stand up, but stilled hearing you speak into your own hands.

“But… this is his child. And... I’m his.”

“Fuck.” Geralt replanted himself and sighed harshly, rubbing his rough thumb of one hand into the palm of another.

“What?” you shuddered, glancing over your shoulder. “But I love him...”

“You’ve said,” he husked, glancing at the exit with an arched brow and a changed mind. Waking you from that nightmare, he actually considered taking you in his arms and comforting you with all of the strength he had in him. He was not particularly given to tender moments, but if you’d have asked, even whimpered, anything at all, he’d have moved heaven and earth to shelter you.

You turned away from his frustrated growling. “Where is he? He should be here.”

With a huff of rage, he lifted to his feet and took the one large step to the door. Rolling over, your torso twisted and you yelped at the sharp pain. “Ah - fuck! What -“

“You were very sick,” he oversimplified, glancing behind his shoulder. “Yennefer…”

“Yennefer? She says she’s the ‘Love of your life’? I thought I was dreaming but she’s really real?”

“You should know Yennefer saved YOUR life.”

You mewled, ripped the covers down your thighs and tugged at your torn shirt, trying to find the source of the overwhelming pain.

Setting his jaw, he breathed deep and clenched his fist to keep from absolutely roaring at you. “You wouldn’t have survived - to be reunited with whoever this arsehole is, since that’s clearly all you can think about.”

It was neither his tone nor his words that shook you, rather the ache in your belly. “Something feels wrong.”

“As it should. Sleep.”

“Fuck you,” you spat holding your middle, getting up onto your feet much more slowly than he did. Bumping chests, you glared up at him. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew and you didn’t say a damn thing.”

Nostrils flared, patience dwindling, he looked over your head; he knew the second he glanced down and saw the pain in your eyes, it’d just add fuel to his  fire and one of the two of you needed to be levelheaded. 

“Not for certain until Yen told me a few minutes ago. Although I had suspected something like this when you told the story yesterday.”

Suddenly alert, you bolted toward the tent flap, but a heavy arm across the front of your shoulders blocked your way. Desperately, you reached both hands out. “Please! I need to go home. I just need to see him. He’ll explain and fix it.” 

Your pained gaze finally lifted to his, digging your fingernails into his forearm locked across your chest.

His sharp gaze narrowed. “There’s a reason he didn’t come back for you. Showing up on his doorstep, now, won’t produce the results you want, I guarantee you.”

“But - I did everything I was told to do,” you gasped, blinking back tears that spilled down your cheeks anyway. Dropping your head, the tears dripped freely onto the ground. Tilting your shoulders just slightly into him, you bumped your forehead against his chest and stayed like that a long while.

“I hate you...” you sniffled and hiccupped, speaking slowly, clearly drained.

“Mmph.” He grunted, holding the back of your bare neck.

The rage had worn around the edges like two fighters in the last round dragging their feet; both of you were slow to swing back.

“Come on,” he encouraged as gently as he could muster, thumbing behind your neck. “Lie down.”

He sighed, glancing down at your trembling, balled up fist thumping against his chest.

“I-I h-hate y-“ you sobbed, nosing into his chest. “I h-aate-“

“I know,” he grumbled, closing his hand around your fist. “You hate me.”

He rested his chin on your head and carded his fingers through your hair. Feverish tears eventually gave way to panting, then to soft breaths against his skin.

“What am I going to do?” you croaked, dragging your fingertips down his spine, releasing the muscles you’d been clawing into. “I don’t know what to do.”

“The first thing you’re going to do is get some rest,” he graveled overhead. Not giving you a second to protest, he collected your wrists from behind his hips and drew you back to your cot, throwing open the covers with his free hand.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you whined, giving him a side eyed glance.

“Lie down and count geese then,” he huffed, clearly not budging on it.

With a long sigh, you crawled in and curled up, pressing your face down into the pillow. Your eyes closed when the blanket rugged up over your shoulders.

Hearing your voice just barely mumbling into your pillow, he came down onto a knee and tilted his head. 

“Hmm?” he graveled just above a whisper. “You don’t mean that. … No, you don’t. … Hm? Fine, I will. Sleep.”

Settling down cross legged, he reached over the short expanse between you and the edge of the cot. As promised, he smoothed over your hair, and hummed a deeply soothing tune, the one he’d sometimes hum to Roach when she was being groomed. 

Tag Team: @ly--canthrope​ @marswritings​ @fire-in-her-veinz​ @thiclikeh0ney @uncoolcloudyhead​ @michelle-1185​ @boop-le-snoot​ @tearsontape13​ @confusinglump​ @mary-ann84​ @the-soot-sprite @wanderingsoulcelticheart @henry-cavill-obsessed​ @ruthoakenshield​ @nerra75​ @raspberrydreamclouds​

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I Hate Me Now

Word Count: 6k 

Genre: Angst, smut 

Summary: You and Wonpil used to be lovers, soulmates even, before your priorities in life got in the way. You wanted to do anything to help your family, no matter how morally ambiguous it is, while Wonpil thought that doing the right thing was of the utmost importance, no exceptions. Now, facing off in court years later, all the old wounds gets torn open again and things finally come to a head.

A/N: *long fart noise* this fic had the potential to be something good but I fucked it up and I’m beyond even caring.

Warnings: inconsistent writing if you’ve ever seen one, kinda femdom, unhealthy as per usual, sad little story.

The neutral, slightly intimidating mask you put on everyday was the one most people were familiar with by now. You rarely showed your real emotions anymore, not since you had lost him. His departure brought on a profound change in your life. There had already been a rift growing between who you wanted to be and who you had to be in order to survive, but when he left he took any remaining idealism left in you with him. It’s funny that the reason he left you was because he couldn’t handle your diverging moral standings, yet it was precisely his departure that cemented the turn you had taken.

Now, with him standing opposite you in the courtroom, fighting for the opposing team, you feel your mask slipping. It was hard seeing him like this. Even though it’s been years already, not having him break into that breathtaking smile of his that was like an ingrained reflex as soon as his eyes would meet yours was disquieting. Now he just frowns and looks away; his big, beautiful eyes that used to be filled to the brim with a sort of dreamy goodness were now empty and tired.

Needless to say, you weren’t on your best game. You could hardly concentrate at all during the trial, and you can bet your ass that your boss knew about your abysmal performance before it even ended. As soon as you were out of the courtroom, he was calling to give you crap about it and condescendingly remarking that if you couldn’t handle such a big case then you should’ve left it to someone who actually knew what he was doing, emphasis on the ‘He’. You assured him that everything was under control and that this wouldn’t happen again. You were just caught off guard, not that you dared tell him that last part. This was a huge case and it could either make or break your career. You couldn’t afford to get distracted by the man you had once thought to be the love of your life, and might still do…

You had to do this for your family. But it seems the man in question intends to put your resolve to the test.

You don’t know how he found you. Perhaps he had followed you out of the courthouse. Did he hear you talking on the phone to your boss? You sure hope not, not when his mere presence was forcing you to face the fact that you never got over him after all, and you didn’t need him to see that. You had hoped that the time and distance would harden your heart and heal the wounds he had inflicted upon it but all it took was one look in his eyes for them to get ripped wide open again.

If nothing else, you wanted to keep your pride. He doesn’t get to break your heart and see you still broken up about it all these years later. So you put on your mask again and smirk at him, “Good work today, Pili.”

His frown deepens at the term of endearment you used to call him when you were together. You suppose you aren’t allowed to use it anymore, which is precisely why you do. “Too bad it won’t do you any good. You always did have a soft spot for the hopeless cases.”

Wonpil puffs his chest out, subconsciously trying to look bigger under your mocking gaze. “Our case isn’t hopeless.”

“Yeah sure, whatever you say, Pili.” You roll your eyes. You should end it there, tell him you have no time for him and leave to go work harder on your case to take him and the people he represents down. But you haven’t made a levelheaded decision since the moment he came back into your life and you just can’t resist adding, “You shouldn’t be wasting your skill on these people. They’re never gonna win. Join my company. I’m sure I can find you a place.”

Wonpil’s face contorts in disgust, “You think I would ever be a part of a company like yours? You kill people!”

“My company doesn’t kill people.” You reply half-heartedly, not really up to defending your employers out of the courtroom.

“Maybe not directly but the chemicals they pollute the environment with has led to the illness and death of countless people. That’s on your hands.”

You’re not surprised that he insists on making you complicit in the actions of the company you’re representing. Wonpil always did have an absolute sense of justice, from the CEO to the janitor, everyone was equally responsible in his eyes.

 “Be careful what you accuse people of, Pili. This could get you in real trouble once my company wins the lawsuit. And they will win.” You smile sadly, “They always win.”

You walk closer to him and reach out for his hand tentatively. You’re surprised when he lets you, and you take a moment to just hold it, feeling the familiar, yet almost-forgotten, weight of it in your own hands. When you lace your fingers together, they fit as perfectly as they did years ago, the heat of him permeating through yours like blood through a corpse revived. 

You know you couldn’t let yourself get carried away for long. You needed to say what you had to say and then withdraw back into yourself when he inevitably rejects you. Rubbing your thumb over the web of skin between his thumb and index, you take a few moments to steady your breath as you willfully shed years worth of mental defenses to allow him to gaze onto the real you, naked from any pretenses and completely vulnerable against the bottomless darkness you see in his own eyes. 

“I’ve missed you so much, you can’t even know. I… I still want you.” You weren’t sure if it was just your voice that was trembling or your entire body—you were holding too tightly onto his hand to be able to tell. “It’s not too late for us. We can still be together. What you’re doing right now is admirable, fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. You’ve got the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen… but it’s a losing battle. There is no hope for them, but there is for us. We can have a good life together.”

His lips press together into a thin line and he yanks his hand back, almost throwing you forward when you don’t react fast enough to untangle your fingers as he steps away from you, looking disgusted at the mere thought of what you’re suggesting. “If you really think that I’d not only abandon these people but actually work against them then you don’t know me at all.”

“Oh, I know you.” You look down at your now empty hands, muttering tiredly, “I just hoped that you might’ve changed.”

“And I wish you didn’t. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’re nothing like the girl I once fell in love with. You’re a monster.”

You let out a bark of laughter to hide the stabbing pain his words delivered right into the center of your chest, cutting up your tattered heart all over again. “And did you follow me all this way just to say that? Aw, Pili, you shouldn’t have.”

He glares at you, utter contempt displayed on his face.

“I hate you.” He curses out before he leaves, not sparing you a second glance, and for that you were thankful. You could barely stomach the fact that the broken woman who was openly sobbing in the middle of the street in broad daylight was you—you didn’t need him to see that.

___________________________

Just like you hadn’t expected to ever face off with him in a courtroom, you also never expected him to show up at your place only days after your less-than-sweet reunion.

“What are you doing here?” You stand with your arms folded over your chest, feeling resentful that he’s forcing you to deal with the heartache he brought with him into your own residence. “How did you even know where my apartment is?”

“You’ve messed with my damn head.” He accuses, looking deeply agitated as he paces back and forth in your living room.

The audacity of this man! He sought you out first, then he rejected you, and now he barges into your home and claims you are messing with him?

You plant your body in his path to stop his pacing, and ask, putting emphasis on each word, “Why. are. you. here?”

He stares at you for a second, exasperated and contemplating what to say, but each time a sentence starts forming, he bites it back abruptly. Huffing, he runs his hand through his hair haphazardly and tries to get past you to start pacing again.

But you jump into action, your hands shooting out to grab him and hold him in place. You won’t let him play games with you. You won’t be able to handle it.

In the process of holding on to him to try to keep him in place, you had gotten much closer to him in proximity. With your arms almost enveloping him, your heart starts beating erratically. This was the closest you’d been to him in years, and by the looks of it, Wonpil wasn’t completely unfazed by it either.

“What do you want from me, Wonpil?” You ask, suddenly feeling weary as if all the fight has seeped out of your body. 

His eyes flit down to your lips as you talk, and they linger there even after you’re done, giving you your answer. Wonpil was never particularly good at hiding his feelings, something he would readily admit to if asked, and you take advantage of it.

You raise your hand to his face carefully as if he’s a frightened animal you don’t want to scare off. When he feels your hand on his cheek, he finally looks you in the eyes again, and you feel a twinge of pity at the helplessness you see in his gaze.

Taking in a deep breath, you ask slowly, “Do you want to kiss me, Wonpil?”

You knew you shouldn’t be doing this; it will only open up your wounds further, but you’ve never gotten to say goodbye to him, and you knew that if you miss this-- probably last-- chance to be with him, you will live to regret it even more.

You’re so lost in your own head that you miss the subtle nod Wonpil gives you and, antsy by your lack of response, he makes the first move, pressing his lips to your own.

It’s an awkward kiss, tight-lipped and uncoordinated as Wonpil is unsure of what he is allowed to do, but feeling the urgency to touch you anyway. His hands are all over you, but not in a good way. They would barely touch a part of you before they moved on to the next, leaving you feeling unsatisfied.

Deciding to take the reins—which was par for the course back during your relationship anyway—you grab his hands and hold them behind his back, making him whine when you break the kiss. “Don’t whine. You don’t have the right to.”

He bites his lip, stifling anymore protests from coming out. Pulling on his arm, you lead him to your bedroom and push him on the bed. He tries to pull you down with him but you shake him off. Again, he starts whining but with a sharp raise of your eyebrow, he pipes down immediately.

Grabbing the hem of your oversized shirt, you cock your head at him. “Do you want me to take this off?”

“Yes, please.” He breathes out before you’re even done talking.

You slide the shirt up your body slowly, teasingly, making sure to give Wonpil a show. With the shirt off, your breasts are entirely exposed for you to play with them and tease Wonpil some more. Pushing them together, messaging them, twisting the nipples lightly, you do everything you know will drive him crazy until he’s biting down hard on his lip so he wouldn’t piss you off, but you could see from the obvious bulge in his pants and the way his right leg was bouncing up and down impatiently that he was getting needy.

You give your breasts one last squeeze before you slide your hands down your abdomen and towards the waistline of your shorts, pushing it down on one side only to pull it back up and do the same thing with the other side.

“Please.”

“Please, what? You want me to take this off too?”

“Yes.”

“But I thought I was a disgusting monster and you can’t even look at me. You have no problem with it now that you want to get your dick wet, huh?”

He averts his eyes, having the audacity to look ashamed and it pisses you the fuck off. 

You grab his jaw, making him face you, and hiss down at him. “Either you grow some fucking balls and face the implications of your own desire or you get the fuck out of my sight.” 

You needed him to voice out his desire so he’d admit that he’s equally responsible for what is happening. You’re not going to let him paint you as a monster seducing poor, helpless him. He wants this too, and he needs to be held accountable for that.

“What do you want me to say?” He asks, entirely too chagrined than he had any right to be. 

“That you’re a fucking hypocrite.” You spit, astonished at how disgusted you were with him, while still wanting to be one with him. Your whole relationship is a mess, and you’re convinced that either it was never meant to be, or that the gods themselves are jealous of your love and are trying to hurt you.

“I’m… I’m a hypocrite. There, are you happy?” He challenges, but you just let out a tired sigh, almost having expected him to deny it and put an end to this—to tell you that this is insane and you’re insane, but he validates your insanity and now you can’t back down.

No. None of this makes you happy. You haven’t been happy ever since he left you.

You take your shorts and panties off unceremoniously and straddle him, staying still for a moment to see if he’ll try something, but his hands stay balled to his sides as he awaits your permission to touch you, so you give it to him. “Go ahead. You can touch.”

His hands immediately go to your breasts, touching you in the exact same way you were just touching yourself, and you laugh. “Aw, Pili, you wanted it that bad?”

He frowns in that adorably pouty way he unconsciously does sometimes, and it makes your smile falter, the memory of something you used to have but is just out of your reach now is all too painful.

He forcefully takes you out of your thoughts when his mouth latches onto one of your breasts, placing kisses all over it and sucking on your nipple. You moan out, a hand reaching for his hair and automatically tugging on it the way you know he likes, which only makes him needier, one of his hands eagerly moving down to your pussy, and the moan that leaves him lets you know just how excited he is to find you dripping. Too impatient to wait, his fingers move down to your hole right away. When a finger enters you, he’s the one pulling back with a throaty moan.

You chuckle breathlessly, feeling yourself quivering around his finger. “Does my pussy feel that good, Pili?”

He nods, pumping his finger in and out of you, making you gasp as you start unbuttoning his shirt. “Tell me what it feels like.” 

“Tight. Wet. Soft.”

“Hmm, and did you miss it?” You slip his shirt off his shoulders, forcing him to remove his hands from you, but as soon as the shirt is off, his hands are back on you again, one grabbing a handful of your breast and the other two fingers deep in you.“Do you miss how it feels around your cock?”

“Yeah.” He closes his eyes and you know that he’s imagining it. 

“Do you want to feel it again?”

“Yes.” His eyes snap open again, full of silent pleas.

You push him backwards until he’s lying down in the middle of the bed with you straddling him, his cock snug between your wet folds as you slowly rub up and down against it. With your hands holding his arms over his head, he looks up at you, gaze brimming with need as he holds his breath and waits, but you don’t give it to him yet.

“Look at you. You were acting all high and mighty earlier but now you’re willing to do anything to get inside this pussy, huh?” You taunt, rubbing yourself with the tip of his dick.

When he doesn’t say anything, you lean down to bite his collarbone, making him yelp. “Answer me, Pili.”

“Yes, please, give it to me.” He nods emphatically, throwing his head back and crying out as you sink down on him. 

As soon as you have him all the way inside of you, you know you are in trouble. God, he fills you up so good. Everywhere his cock touched inside of you burns with pleasure and you can’t even help yourself; you ride him hard and fast, desperate to feel the kind of pleasure you haven’t felt in years. Everything is just different with him, the way he fits inside of you, the needy, almost reverent look on his face, his choked off moans, they all work you up to a frenzy. 

“Does it feel good, Pili?”

“Yes. So, so good.”

“I bet you’ve been fantasizing about this for years... just lying in bed, fucking your own spit-covered hand and imagining it was me taking you.” 

“Yeah, y-yeah…” He sniffles, lower lip trembling as he readily admits to it.

“You’re gonna cry?” You spit out, suddenly enraged, and come to a stop. “Fuck, you’re so pathetic.” 

“No! I’m sorry. I’ll stop. Please keep going.” 

“No. I won’t let you twist this narrative into you being the victim.” You fall back onto the bed and pull him up over you. “If you want me, take me.”

The muscle in his jaw jumps as he considers his options for a second, and you lay completely still under him, waiting for him to make the decision on his own, half-wishing he’d stop this madness. But he doesn’t.

Grunting, his hands grab your hips as he pushes his length back inside you. It only takes a few unexpectedly sharp thrusts for you to cooperate and wrap your arms and legs around him. Goosebumps erupt all over his skin when you pull at the hair at the nape of his neck, the shaky moan your action elicits causing heat to start gathering in your belly once again. You stare up at him in hunger, admiring how sexy he looks as the pleasure overtakes his features.

“Shit…shit, you feel so good.” Wonpil rasps out, his eyes squeezing shut as his thrusts turn sloppy. “ I can’t hold on much longer.”

“Don’t you dare.” You snap at him, your nails digging red trails down his back, making his hips stutter. 

“Please, I can’t hold it.” He shakes his head, desperate to get you to let him cum.

“No.” You hiss, silencing him with a kiss. You swallow his whines as your hands grab his ass and force him to keep fucking you. The more he squirms, the more his hips grind against you, rubbing coarsely against your clit and bringing you oh-so-close to your orgasm. 

But—seemingly just a second away from release—Wonpil goes rigid under you, his body freezing up too hard to allow you to move him anymore. His mouth tears away from your own in a loud moan as his dick twitches inside you and fills you up with his hot cum.

You can’t believe it. You were so, so close. Frustration and disappointment fill up the spaces the receding pleasure leaves behind.

“I told you to stop.” You hear him say meekly, and you sigh as you’re left tense and unfulfilled, just like always. 

“It’s fine.” You mutter darkly, pushing him off you, and Wonpil’s face falls, shame spreading all over it.

You know your reaction is hurting him. Wonpil hated not pleasing you. He took it as a personal failure if you were even the slightest bit unhappy with his performance. His desire to please and your desire to be pleased are what brought you together in the first place many years ago. But honestly, all you can think about right now is that mind-blowing orgasm you were just robbed of because he couldn’t hold back just a little bit more.   

But before the last bit of pleasure inside you recedes from your body, it is forced back in when Wonpil, still half-hard and sheathed inside you, starts moving again, fucking his cum into your sensitive pussy.

“What are you doing?” Your mouth hangs open in shock and pleasure, and you watch him grit his teeth and set a frantic pace. As his cock starts hardening inside of you again, he’s able to fuck you harder and harder, the determined look on his face the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.

His moans are loud, and you can’t tell if they’re from pleasure or pain as Wonpil never once lets up his assault, hitting just the right spot that has you seeing white. When his thumb flicks your clit, it is over for you, your hands flying out to grab his face and pull him down into a searing kiss as you cum. 

When you pull back from the kiss, signalling the end of your orgasm, Wonpil collapses into a sweaty mess next to you, still clinging to your body by wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your neck as you both catch your breath.

“What’s so funny?” He perks his head up, asking as you start shaking with laughter in his arms. But the more you look at him, the harder you laugh. This is just all so absurd.

Wonpil watches you uneasily. He needs assurance, something that he had always relied on you to provide for him, but you can’t do that this time. 

You come down from your laughter fit with a deep sigh. “Get out.”

He’s taken aback at your sudden coldness. This isn’t what he expected, not what he was used to from you, and you almost start laughing again. Is he really that clueless? Did he expect things to be just like they were before after what he’s done?

His eyes flit between yours, searching for a comfort he won’t find in them. “But—but… aren’t we going to talk about this?"

“Talk about what, Wonpil?” You ask in exasperation, “Have you changed your mind about my work?”

“No, but—”

“But you want me to make the sacrifice for you.” You finish his sentence for him. “This is why you’re here, isn’t it? You refuse to give up your job but you expect me to give up mine for you.”

“It’s the right thing to do.” He bristles, sitting up.

“I don’t care about the right thing. All I care about is my family.”

His face hardens at that, and through gritted teeth, he says, “Your family isn’t going to starve if you work at another firm.”

“Quality of life isn’t measured by whether you starve or not. I want them to have a good life.” You don’t know why you even bother anymore, he’s never going to listen. “You wouldn’t understand.”

He tears himself away from you and gets up, angrily putting on his clothes. “Yes because I’m just a poor orphan boy who will never understand what family means. Isn’t that right?”

“Pili… you know I didn’t mean it like that.” You unconsciously reach out for him but he jumps away.

“Yes, you did. You always pitied me for not having a family.” Pain twists Wonpil’s pretty features. “You know, for a while, I actually thought you could be my family.”

“No, Pili. I couldn’t have.” You sigh sadly, the deepening look of hurt on his face cutting you up. “Because you left me. And family never leaves.”

His mouth opens and closes like he wants to say something but doesn't even know what. Collecting himself, Wonpil scoffs and turns towards the door.

“Yeah, like that.” You mutter, collapsing back on the bed as you hear the sound of your front door opening and slamming shut. 

___________________________________

You know it is wrong but you can’t stay away from each other. Now that you have had a taste of the forbidden after years of having sworn off each other, you couldn’t find it in you to stop.

You find yourself in each other’s beds again and again, hurling accusations at each other and fucking your emotions out until you’re too tired to do anything but sleep, each time getting more and more exhausted until you stop trying all together, just blocking out everything and focusing on the here and now as if nothing else existed outside of your respective bedrooms. 

Your nights have been sleepless ever since he's gotten back into your life, and not just for the obvious reason that he’s the person you thought was the love of all your lives, past or present. No, many nights were spent just staring at each other, no words uttered for fear of disturbing this fragile improbability that brought you back together, or holding each other so gingerly as if you were made of matter and antimatter and your meeting could annihilate not only yourselves but the entire world you’ve built around you. 

It’s a bubble and you know it, the translucent shell that surrounds you gleaming all rainbow-like when the light of forgotten dreams hits it just right. It sways and wobbles, signaling its impending explosion any moment now. And yet, you stay curled up around each other as if you can’t see the surface tension on the verge of breaking.

Every once in a while, one of you would lean forward and press their lips against the other’s, and you’d close your eyes and pretend like these past years have been nothing but a bad dream and you’re still college students, young and lost and unsure of everything in the world except for the notion that love is eternal and that you have already found it in each other.

You wonder what you’d look like now to your past selves, having gained all the conviction and knowledge you would’ve never thought you would possess, but having lost the one thing that made any of it worth a damn. You bet your past selves would hold each other and cry at the sight of the broken you holding onto the jagged pieces of your once-sweet notion with bleeding hearts and crushed souls.

Tears trickle down your face, and Wonpil reaches up to wipe them with the backs of his fingers, pressing his lips to yours again when the branching stream reaches even your lips.

Pulling back ever so slightly, he whispers to you and to the dying universe around you, the vibrations of his voice reaching your lips through the tiny distance between you, sounding choked up like he had begun crying too, “I wish we could stay here forever, just forget about everyone and be forgotten by them.”

You sigh and wrap yourself around him, his starry eyes shuttering closed and a soft pout forming on his lips as he drifts off to sleep, just like old times. And you're left alone to wonder... if you could do it all over again, would you have chosen differently?

______________________________

You knew something was off. Despite the time and distance that have whittled down your sense of him, you still knew that something was off. Your body had picked up on so many little things—the way his eyes glossed over when he would force himself to face you, his excessively soft touches that resembled those of a volatile lover silently apologizing for his latest outburst, the lingering looks he gave you as if he was memorizing every little detail of you before you went away—it just took your brain too long to make sense of it all.

Or maybe you just didn't want to believe it. You got too greedy and wanted to live in your fantasy world just a little bit longer, and it cost you everything. 

Looking at him now, you think he’s saying something to you but every word is muffled as if you were submerged in water. He gets agitated, shouting something again and again that gets just a little clearer every time as he forces you back to the surface and you register that it’s your own name.

When you blink, your gaze finally focusing on him, he breathes a sigh of relief. “You’re scaring me.”

“I wish I had never met you.” Your sentence is slow and raspy like the ghostly murmur of someone fished out of water.

“Don’t say that.” He whimpers, "I had to do it." He says it like he means it, like he really couldn’t stop himself from betraying you, using you, ruining your life. "You said it yourself, we never would've won. It was the only way. These people depended on me."

"And what about me?" You rasp, tears stinging your eyes. "I loved you."

"And I love you." He tries to hold you but you push him away.

"They fired me.” You inform him monotonously, “They had me blacklisted to make sure I would never find a job in this field again."

Of course they did. What company will want you now that you've shown yourself not to be reliable? You slept with your rival and allowed him to steal crucial documents that could jeopardize the entire case from right under your nose. Your stupid amateur mistake could cost the company millions.

"How am I going to provide for my family now?" You moan, not really asking him.

"You could join us. It's not a big pay but—”

Your hand goes to pull at your hair in frustration, “God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

"I'm sorry.” He holds his head down, sobbing.

"No, you don’t get to cry about ruining my life! You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself! You don’t—” You stop abruptly, unable to breathe. Cradling your head now, you lament, "Oh god, what am I gonna do now?"

"I don't know."

"No, you never know." You say bitterly. "I don’t want to ever see your face again."

His head whips up, "Don't say that..."

“Go.”

"I didn't mean for all of this to happen--"

"Go." You shriek and he flinches back. His lower lips tremble as he tries to hold his tears back to no avail. In a shaky voice, he says, "I'll give you some time to calm down but I'll be back. I'll fix this."

"God, Wonpil," You suck in a shaky breath, "for once in your life, I wish you'd leave it alone."

He jerks his head away, wiping at his tears furiously, "I'll see you later."

_____________________________

You struggle to hold back tears as you wait inside your cramped studio apartment. You don’t know how much longer you can stand to do this— lie to your parents about getting fired and blacklisted, telling them that you quit for moral differences, accepting money from the man who ruined your life just so they wouldn’t find out for a little while longer.

But you couldn’t do anything to help yourself, let alone support your family without Wonpil’s charity. The only jobs you are able to get now are in the service industry and those barely pay your rent and living expenses. You couldn’t even go back to your hometown and your family for fear that they’d figure out the truth, and you just couldn’t let that happen.

You knew your father would insist on getting back to work in order to help support the family. You barely even had him convinced that his condition doesn’t allow him to work and that he needs to rest. If he finds out you not only lost your job but also any hope for a future one in that field, he’d go back to work right away, and that could very possibly kill him.

Your siblings’ future now lies unknown. The eldest of your siblings after you is a senior now, and soon you’ll have to tell her that she isn’t going to college like you promised her she would. She has to abandon her dreams in order to get a job to help provide for the family, and as your other siblings grow older, they too would follow in her footsteps; a family that came from dirt and will die in it, that’s what Wonpil’s ideals have cost you.

After everything you’ve done, after all you’ve gone through, you’re still nothing. It’s funny that Wonpil is fighting for the poor and innocent when he’s the one who has proven to you once and for all that the rich will stay rich and the poor will stay poor and under the feet of the rich.

The case he betrayed you for was a loss in the end. After a long, tedious trial, his clients were forced to settle because they couldn’t afford to pay for a trial that kept getting prolonged, a strategy the rich and powerful employed in order not to lose doomed cases, in the end making the poor people poorer and worse off than they were before. That’s what Wonpil does. He makes people hope and believe that maybe, just maybe the world isn’t as shitty as it seems, only to shatter them completely when he can’t follow through on his beautiful promises. He breaks them because he made them hope.

Hearing the doorbell ring, you get up to answer it, moving mechanically. After you swing the door open, you stand in the way so Wonpil wouldn’t be able to barge in like he tries to sometimes.

He hands you an envelope which you take with a heavy heart. Every envelope you accept is a debt piled on you that you’ll live the rest of your life paying back.

“I’m working three jobs right now but I hope to find something with a better pay soon so I can start paying you back.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that.” He rushes to say, but you cut him off. “Yes, I do.”

He sighs and stares at the floor, fiddling with his finger. It annoyed the hell out of you. “Is there something you want?”

His head shoots up, eyes wide at having been caught.

“I—“ He clears his throat after he chokes on the word. “I miss you.”

You hate yourself because of how his words still affect you, how you wish you could fall into his arms and let him comfort you until there are no more tears left in your eyes.

But you won’t cry. You won’t let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. Never again. 

“Goodnight, Wonpil.” You say coldly, closing the door in his face before he can say anything else.

______________________________

[fanficshiddles]

Triple Threat, Chapter 4

A few days went by and there was nothing bad happening on Earth, the team decided not to worry too much. SHIELD was still on higher alert than usual, just in-case.

But Loki said to the team that perhaps whoever had broken the timeline was someone of non-importance.

Thor kept in touch with Asgard, there was no news from there either. Heimdall still couldn’t see anyone who was in this reality that shouldn’t be.

So when things calmed down, Darcy and Loki went out on a triple date, with Wanda and Vision, Natasha and Bruce. Natasha and Bruce were still a relatively new thing. But they were head over heels with one another, so were giving the whole being a couple thing a go.

They went to the cinema to watch a new release. That was the only reason Loki and Darcy had been able to be talked into going along, as they wanted to see the new film. 

Of course there was some paparazzi there, capturing the superheroes on a day off. Not that they ever had proper days off, they were always on call in-case of emergencies.

Loki always liked to play up to them, though. He made sure they captured a perfect picture of him grabbing a handful of Darcy’s ass on the way into the cinema. She whacked his chest in retaliation, but she did laugh too.

During the film, Darcy needed the bathroom so she squeezed past Loki and headed out into the foyer. After exiting the bathroom she almost walked right into Loki. ‘Geez Loks! Can’t be apart from me even for five minutes?’ She smirked.

He just winked at her and pushed her against the wall, slipping a hand up to hold the side of her neck as he pressed his lips against hers firmly. She whimpered against him as they kissed, Loki deepened it briefly before pulling back, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

‘If I wasn’t so invested in the damn film I’d say let’s skip it. But let’s save our fun for when we get back.’ Darcy grinned and patted his chest. Then she made her way to the screening, but she noticed he didn’t follow her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him disappear into the men’s toilets.

But when she got back into the screening, she was confused to see Loki in his seat again. She rolled her eyes as she shimmied past him, getting a playful squeeze on the bum by him on the way.

‘You were quick.’ She whispered to him.

Loki glanced at her, confused. ‘What ever do you mean?’

She shook her head and elbowed him. ‘You know what I mean.’ She whispered back.

Loki was utterly confused, but shrugged it off as Darcy just being Darcy. And the two of them continued to watch the film, silently bickering over the popcorn.

-

There had been some reports that came in of weird things going on in the city over the last few days.

Silly little things, really, such as the rain being jelly drops for a full hour. Causing utter chaos in the city as cars and people slipped around as it didn’t evaporate upon hitting the ground. It got quite thick before suddenly it all just vanished. There was also an incident where all the monkeys from the zoo in the suburbs escaped, causing trouble until the zookeepers were able to capture them again.

But a week after the triple date to the cinema, there was another incident. Tony called a meeting with everyone in the living room. Loki and Darcy had been watching TV with Thor and Steve when the others came in.

‘There’s been another incident.’ Tony sighed.

‘What is it this time?’ Wanda asked.

‘You know those large stuffed toy animals that are in the large toy store? There’s an elephant, lion, penguin, zebra and bear?’ Tony said.

‘Yes…’ Bruce trailed off, not liking where this was probably going.

‘Well, they… came alive for a few hours.’ Tony frowned.

Loki threw his head back laughing, he’d found the antics lately hilarious.

‘That is totally something you’d do.’ Darcy said as she poked Loki in his side.

‘It has all been rather amusing.’ Loki grinned.

But the team looked at him warily. He looked between them all and frowned.

‘Oh come on, it’s not me. I’ve been in all day watching TV with Darcy.’ Loki said defensively.

‘He has. He’s barely moved an inch all day.’ Darcy confirmed, stuffing a macaroon into her mouth.

‘Well, whoever it is, they certainly seem to enjoy playing tricks like you do, brother.’ Thor chuckled.

‘They clearly have good taste.’ Loki smiled.

‘Look, this is serious, guys. While it’s not been anything life threatening yet, we need to find out what the hell is going on here and who is behind it all.’ Tony said firmly.

‘I can ask Heimdall. I know he has been keeping an eye on all the realms lately.’ Thor offered.

‘Thanks Thor.’ Tony nodded.

The team were told to be on the lookout more. Tony sent some of his suits out on patrol around the city, to try and catch the person who was playing tricks. But Heimdall saw nothing, whoever was doing the tricks to the city were shielded from his sight.

That evening, Darcy went out to get takeaway. When she returned, she found Loki just loitering about outside.

‘Hey you! Help me with this.’ She headed over to him and handed him one of the takeaway bags. ‘I thought you were too busy fighting with Thor to come with me.’ She grumped as they headed inside.

Loki smirked and shrugged. ‘Surely I am never too busy to help you.’ He purred at her.

Darcy wasn’t exactly sure why or what it was. But Loki seemed slightly off. She couldn’t put her finger on it though. So she just shrugged it off.

When they got inside though, they entered the kitchen and Darcy stopped dead when she saw Loki sitting at the island with Thor, Clint and Natasha.

‘Are you playing your damn tricks again with your illusions?’ She huffed at Loki, shaking her head.

Loki turned to see what she meant, his eyes widening when he saw… himself? Stood next to her. Natasha, Clint and Thor looked confused and slightly surprised too.

‘That is no illusion of mine.’ Loki said warily as he stood up.

‘Loki… what do you mean?’ Darcy looked at the Loki next to her, who had a wicked look on his face.

‘Get away from her.’ Loki stormed over to Darcy and put his arm around her, pulling her away from… himself? And he pulled out one of his daggers, aiming it at the apparent intruder, while keeping a death hold on Darcy.

‘Is that the food…’ Tony trailed off as he entered the kitchen with the rest of the team. Looking at the scene on front of them. ‘What the hell is going on?’

‘Am I seeing double?’ Steve asked, rubbing his eyes.

‘Loki?’ Bruce asked, his voice unsteady as he looked between the two Loki’s.

‘Well, that’s not a very nice welcome for your saviour.’ The intruder Loki grinned and glanced around at everyone, looking far too pleased with himself.

‘Is SOMEONE going to explain what the hell is going on?’ Clint shouted, looking between the two Loki’s nervously.

‘The only thing I know for certain, is that is NOT me.’ Loki snarled, still holding on tightly to Darcy.

Loki chuckled. ‘I am you. You are me. Just from different realities.’ He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

‘You… You’re the rift in the timeline?’ Darcy asked, eyes widening.

‘Smart girl.’ Loki winked at her.

Loki frowned, but still didn’t lower his dagger yet. ‘Explain yourself. Why are you here? What do you want?’

‘I am not here to threaten you, or Midgard.’ Loki said, looking around the team.

‘I’ve come here, because I need your help.’

[muthaz-rapapa]

Finally, Asuka arc. However, this ep only told her backstory so I’m sure we’ll get at least one more for closure and what’s looking to be a likely reconciliation with Yuriko.

That said, I can understand both girls’ viewpoints on the issue that ruined their partnership. Asuka followed her sense of justice when other players tried to sabotage Yuriko’s equipment. Unfortunately, since there was no solid proof they can provide to support that claim and the other team called foul on Asuka’s “violence”, Aozora had to compromise to keep that news from going public and banning their team from future competitions altogether. Yuriko was thinking for the benefit of everyone but that broke Asuka’s belief and trust in her teammates who won’t fight for the truth because they’re too scared to lose the chance to compete.

Neither of them are wrong, it’s the other team’s underhanded tactic against them that is. However, Asuka and Yuriko still ended paying the price (their friendship) for it which is truly unfair.

And the longer that sense of betrayal stretched between them, the harder it is for them to forgive each other for not understanding what’s “more important”…even though they really…

…know each other better than anyone else does. Yuriko of course still believes that Asuka did nothing wrong, that she would never deliberately hurt anyone and was just protecting her partner. While Asuka also understands that as captain, Yuriko did make the correct decision to save the team. Because competitions are held every year, they can always play at the next one but can’t if their school is blacklisted.

However, every time they see each other, the animosity and anger block that understanding. They’re still too hurt over the rift that split them apart to say “You were right” and make up. So they accuse each other of being narrow-minded despite the both of then knowing that’s not really the case at all.

It’s not a matter of being stubborn here. Or I should say, it’s not a matter of childish indignation.

It’s a matter of principles and their unwillingness to yield because of that.

But with time and proper healing, they’ll be able to let this conflict become water under the bridge someday.

I mean, obviously Asuka and Yuriko still care a lot about each other. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be butting heads now. They wouldn’t still be fighting each other so hard if they didn’t care or even remember mundane things about each other like the case with Asuka’s pillow.

The past is past, it’s already done and you can’t change that. You just have to accept it for what it is, let it go and move on.

And I’m sure they will. It’s not worth it at all to keep hating your best friend forever when in reality, you want nothing more than to be with them.

Asuka and Yuriko haven’t lost that mutual feeling yet so they’ll be able to overcome this eventually. 😊

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird, “My human.”

You guys requested some more LFIL stuff, so I have brought it. Lots of Fluff, I hope. So please enjoy. Also based on a couple ideas given to me by the Discord server :)

“Where are we going.”

“You’ll see.”

“I feel like this is becoming our thing.”

“What?”

“Dragging the other to some sort of event and not saying literally anything about it beforehand.” Sunny hummed deep in her chest and Adam just rolled his eyes, looking around at the dark city awash with eternal night.

“Why Noctopolis of all the places. I mean we have a week off and you want to spend your vacation days in the literal dump of the galaxy?”

She huffed and rolled her eyes, “Please, you love it here. It's like any tradeworld from any sci-fi movie ever.”

That shut him up, and she could see the slow grin pass over his face.

Finally she shrugged, “Look, I just thought it would be nice to… go somewhere where we could relax, not have to worry about hiding.”

“I think there are a few nice beachfront planets we could have done that on.”

“Not with the tourism.” She shot back 

A gust of sour wind kicked up through the bustling night streets tugging at Adam’s jacket and rippling the blue of his shirt like ripples across a pond. He adjusted his eyepatch as she led him through a maze of back alleys and tall buildings.

They took a rickety lift down into the gorge where the ever-present red mist billowed and glowed below them in patterns that undulated and wired.

They stepped off into another shallow rift, and followed a narrow street down into another side alley, where Sunny stopped.

Trash and little bits of paper blew around them where they stood in front of a peeling red door.

Adam raised an eyebrow at Sunny, “Ah, beautiful. A lovely vacation spot, I would like to move here and retire.”

“Smartass.” She mumbled at him before knocking on the red door.

There was a long pause while they waited, Adam tapping his foot against concrete below before the door opened a crack and a single human eye peered out at them. The distant echo of music thudded up through the room echoing off the walls.

“What do you want?”

“I’m A friend of Adam.”

Adam frowned and raised an eyebrow as the door shut suddenly and there was a rattling on the other side as if a chain was being released.

He glanced at Sunny but she only shook her head.

The door opened, and a woman with short buzzed black hair stepped into the doorway, invisible tattoos glowing under the blacklight.

As her eyes fell on him, he watched as her eyebrows raised, single eyebrow stud glittering in the light, “You weren’t kidding. Then her stern face broke into a smile, “Come on in. Any ‘friend of Adam’s is a friend of mine’.”

Adam followed along behind Sunny as the music grew louder, “Is that a code for something…. Is this a code? I am very confused.”

He was a lot less confused a minute later when they stepped out into the main room, a large spacious area with multiple stories. A room off to one side had bright flashing lights, and emanated with the sound of drums. Then there was a bar and couches and pool tables and TVs.

It was less of a club or a bar and more like some sort of clubhouse. The bar seemed to be serving food. On the second floor there were more couches, and some rooms that led off into other rooms.

But what really gave it away was the people.

Aliens and humans.

Aliens and humans holding hands and often cuddled up together on the couches.

He shot Sunny a look.

She just shook her head at him, and together they walked over to the bar.

Just off to their side a human was busily and delicately helping a Finnari to put on some sort of dark shaded glasses.

“That better, hun?’

“Yeah…. Yeah, that's better.” the Finnari hugged the woman, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for>”

“I know you can change how warm you are, and I’m sorry I have to wear the glasses….”

She just laughed and kissed the top of his head.

Adam cleared his throat awkwardly and tugged at the collar of his shirt.

They made it to the bar before anyone recognized them.

“Admiral!” He winced and turned around running into a familiar face at the bar, a familiar green mohawk and a small blue finnari.

Adam frowned, “I thought you were living on the Tesraki homeworld now.”

“We lease an apartment there for business, but we prefer it here…. So tell me, what are you guys doing here.”

He glanced at Sunny, “That’s what I’d like to know.”

She took a seat, “Just relaxing. It is our vacation after all.

Mohawk eyed them a little as Adam sat down reluctantly.

“Drinks on the house then.”

Beside him, the little Finnari waddled over handing up a cup of cucumber juice for Sunny.

The man looked at Adam,”Pick your poison.”

Adam shrugged, “Something girly and brightly colored that tastes good. If I’m going to get drunk it better be worth it.”

Mohawk grinned and got to work.

Another couple wandered over to the bar talking and laughing sliding into seats next to Adam and Sunny.

The human recognized him instantly and grabbed his hand to shake, “Admiral, Vir. I can’t believe you’re here! I can’t believe I get to meet you…. I…. well me and Hasan.” He turned to look over his shoulder at the large, silver Drev sitting next to him, “We owe you so much, the entire community owes you so much.”

Adam blinked, “I…. Well I mean…. I only did what anyone would….”

The man shook his head and waved a hand at him, no no, only you could do what you did and only you DID what you could.”

Adam shrugged not entirely sure what to say before…. “May I…. ask you a question.”

“Anything.”

“Friend of Adam. What does that mean?”

The man waved his hand, “Oh, it’s just a little coad we have for someone who is LFIL, you know so that we don’t have to say it out loud to someone we aren’t sure about.”

“Oh, I see.” he glanced back at the silver Drev listening quietly from behind, “And i’m assuming you are some sort of Kung Fu master…. Dating a Drev and all.”

“Official battle partners , actually.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, “You mean you’ve challenged-”

“Challenged him to the right of unarmed combat. Yes I did. You sure know a lot about Drev culture.”

“You forget, I am Sentinel of a Drev clan, and I spent a couple months training with one of the clans on Anin.:

The man grinned, “But yes to answer your question. I am a…. Sort of well known here on Noctropolis…. MMA fighter, though I also dabble in the use of medieval weapons.”

“Adam only had a little trouble believing that this overly talkative man could probably kick him six ways to sunday, but it seemed strange with his strong but silent type Drev partner who seemed just happy to listen and sip at his juice.

The Bar tender came back with a pink smoothie that Adam was sure had so much rum in it he wasn’t going to be able to feel his legs tomorrow, but it tasted pretty good and it included a crazy straw, so he was happy enough.

The man he had just been speaking to grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to his feet, “Come on, you need to come meet the others, they will be so excited to see you.”

He was tugged to his feet and went only a little hesitantly.

Sunny fell back and began talking with the silver Drev rapid fire.

He was dragged across the open floor to where a group of them was sitting around a low table.

A woman in a nicely recessed suit was sitting with her chin on her hands staring intently at the board.

A few rolls of the dice, and the little black-furred Tesraki stood feet on the table and pointed at her, “HA I win, eat your heart out sweetheart.”

“Not fair, if you hadn’t put hotels on the boardwalk, i would OWN your furry ass.”

The Tesraki waggled his ears at her 

Adam couldn't help but bark out a laugh, “Are you playing monopoly…. Isn’t that dangerous to play if you want your relationship in tact?”

The Tesraki turned to look at him, walked across the table and then fell back into the arms of the wall dressed woman, looking rather smug as she wrapped her arms around him, “Not likely, human.” He patted the woman’s cheek, “my muse is one of the shrewdest business minds this side of the galaxy, and nothing is more attractive than pitting one financial mind against another.”

She stroked the fur on the top of his head.

Adam smiled but shook his head, looking around the room to where the others were staring at him.

He  leared his throat, “uh….hi…. Sorry to intrude we just….”

That is when the cheers started up and he was pulled into the group with the others. He shook a bunch of hands before things settled back down. 

A finnari and a human were curled up across the circle. 

Silver drev and his battle partner were holding hands just to their right, and Adam was feeling a little more than awkward sitting, back straight hands clasped politely before him like he was sitting at church.

“Forgive me for asking, Admiral. I know it might be a sensitive subject, but everyone here in the clubhouse know each other, and we…. Well we have been wondering for a while. Well, we know you are supportive of us, of course, but we wonder if maybe you have other…. Reasons.” They glanced at Sunny

He felt his neck turn red, and tried to cover it by pulling his jacket up.

He glanced at Sunny and she leaned in to speak to him, “I think you should tell them.”

HE frowned at her.

“Just hear me out before you shoot it down. “I know you're stressed trying to keep it secret, and these people have a code of conduct. They won’t tell anyone. I just think it would be good to get it off our chests for once to people who will finally understand.”

He could see her point of course, but still. He wasn’t sure. Just thinking about saying it oud-loud was causing his chest to tighten up a bit. He had been fighting to hide this for a while now, and it was sort of just habit.

The group stared at him.

Hopeful expressions almost. 

They were waiting for him.

But how was it that despite being with Sunny, he didn’t feel like one of them. The guilt was enough to galvanise him into action. He cleared his throat and sat up “well, not when I made the speech to the GA, no….”

They seemed to wilt.

“But,”

They all lifted their heads in anticipation, “I….. Sunny and I are….. Dating.”

The word fell from his lips like a led weight. His head felt suddenly light, and the room around them burst into sound and color as the group of them rose to their feet cheering. Someone slapped him on the back. 

He could barely hear.

“Feels good doesn’t it, to finally say something to people who understand. DRINKS FOR EVERYONE!”

The group was smiling and laughing, “Come on, you don’t have to hide here.:

“Hold her hand!”

“Yeah.”

He caved, even though his hand was shaky and slick with sweat.

More cheering 

He felt as if he was drunk, or drugged. As if he had stepped out of himself. Inside his stomach churned and swarmed with insects.

“Kiss her.” Someone else urged.

The group laughed, but took up the call. Blushing like red as a cherry he leaned up and gave her a quick kiss on the bheek before sitting back down.

Thanks for them, they sensed his nervousness and backed off.

Sunny hummed with pleasure.

He still felt lightheaded.

He could hear them talking but wasn’t sure what about.

Eventually Sunny got up with one of the other drev, and the two of them stepped over to a circle on the floor to have a friendly contest with spears.

Adam was left alone.

The partner of the Drev Sunny was fighting came to sit next to him looking over at the circle, “Pretty amazing aren't they….. Beautiful.”

He nodded lethargically before, “Can I…. make a confession?”

The group was interested and leaned in, he felt their eyes on him. He rubbed the back of his neck, “I… I really do…. Thank you all for… the encouragement but…. well . I have to admit that I….I’ve never really…. Felt like one of you.”

They seemed surprised but were interested to listen.

“What do you mean?”

“I…. well…. This is going to sound strange, but I’m not….. Actually…. Attracted to aliens.”

They stared at him confused.

He sighed and shook his head, “It's… complicated.”

“We’re listening.”

“I…. it's not the fact that she’s a Drev….. I would love Sunny if she were a Tesraki, or a Finnari, or a human. I’m not attracted to Drev as a hole, but Sunny….just Sunny. That’s it she’s the only one.”

There was silence for a moment, and for a second he thought he had offended them, but then.

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

“I understand.”

“Yeah I can see that, but either way you are more than welcome here.”

He was surprised, and after that little exchange, he relaxed a little and smiled, taking a sip of his pink smoothie using his crazy straw.

Sunny was right, it did feel a little better to get off his chest.

And for Sunny, things felt better as well. Finally she had someone she could share with about humans. At one point the aliens and humans split off into groups, the humans living on nostalgic childhood games meant to cause pain.

Sunny sat with the others.

“And the mood swings with humans.” Someone was saying.

“Tell me about it. They go from angry to cuddly to horny in about two seconds flat.”

Sunny snorted, “Can’t say I’ve seen the last one, but the first two, yeah it's a bit of a roller coaster. No wonder they’re always exhausted.”

“Really, you’ve never seen the third one.”

“Adam is a bit…. Shy I think, It’ll probably take him a while.”

“Well you are in for a surprise when he does. Humans are a bit insane.”

One of the Drev huffed, “That’s a good thing I’d say.”

The group laughed and then, “Ok but does anyone else’s human get angry when they are hungry?”

A chorus of yesses.

Sunny sighed, “Oh yes, when your human is 6,2 and 210 lbs and often forgets to eat because he’s so busy. It is a common occurrence. Then he will try to argue with me when I go to feed him that he doesn't have time and he's stressed, and I tell him that he will feel better when he eats, but NO I’m the crazy one.”

One of the Tesraki smiled, “I find there are a few ways to remedy this. Number one, is that I have stashed snacks in all the vehicles and locations that we own. Barring that, I make it a habit to hide currency in her pockets so when she randomly finds a credit it makes her day. She doesn’t know I do this.”

Sunny smiled, “I have a friend who is a doctor, and he once made me read a paper about a human scientist Pavlov, who talked about conditioning, that if you associate certain stimuli with others you can cause a specific reaction. So I make sure to play this one very specific song when we spend time together or cuddle or something, so when he’s stressed  I discreetly turn it on,and either he relaxes or he comes to me for comfort.”

The group ohed at her genius and she felt rather smug.

That was until loud laughter rang out across the room, and the group of them turned to see humans standing on the bar… or specifically one human standing on the bar dancing stupidly.

She sighed, “yep, that one is mine.”

It was good to see him loosen up at little though and he was more than happy to be dragged around by her. She even forced him to come dance with her, and some of the others joined in. Flashing lights and bodies pressed tight together in a semi darkness. Aliens and humans.

All that while the humans were slowly getting drunker.

Thought that all lead to an impromptu karaoke session with most of the humans singing horrible off tune in their drunken state.

Interesting how humans could suddenly become so bad at speaking when drunk.

Adam did pretty well though for someone who got dared to sing Burning Love, which he did pretty well despite sounding absolutely nothing like Elvis -- though to be honest, Sunny wasn’t a big fan of Elvis anyway and preferred Adam’s version. But that might also have been for the eye contact he held with her on occasion, allowing her to think maybe the song was for her.

A fact that made her secretly very happy.

Adam got more socially confident when he was drunk.

It seemed odd to her that he could be such an extroverted person who was very charismatic some times, but in other situations he could barely string two words together.

Either way, looking around at other people’s humans she couldn't help but be a bit smug. Yeah sure their humans were fit, but her human was the best. In her opinion, he had the brightest UV stripes, the prettiest eyes, and the nicest smile. Not to mention that she would bet money he could win in a fight against the other humans . 

Unbeknownst to her, a similar conversation was happening across the room with the humans, accept it was out loud.

“I mean she’s fine, my boy is the best.”

Adam snorted, “Please, gold eyes and carapace the color of blue lightning. You can’t compete.”

“Mine is taller..”

“Mine is more huggable. The perfect height ratio, but have fun bringing a step stool around with you.”

“Don’t need one when he can pick me up.”

“She can pick me up too, so your point is irrelevant.”

He leaned back against the table, his voice slightly slurred as he stared across the room at her, where she was standing, demonstrating some sort of spear move to one of the other Drev.

His voice grew serious, “No woman, no Drev, no alien can compete with the sheer power, and grace. She is a phenomenal warrior, loyal…. Everything that is perfect.”

There was a pause, and then they all burst into a fit of drunken giggling.

By the end of the night most of the humans were passed out, or close to it. And the sober aliens walked over to collect their fallen human from the scattered bodies.

Someone ave Sunny a key, “Rooms upstairs.”

She nodded and thanked the bartender as she reached down and hoisted Adam up with her lower arms under his. He was probably going to have an intense hangover tomorrow, but now he looked rather peaceful in his sleep.

She waved at the other Drev doing the same thing to their humans. Occasionally helping one of the FInnari or Tesraki with a human that was too heavy.

She went upstairs and flopped him down on a bed. He didn’t wake up, but smiled in his sleep. She crawled up to lay next to him. She was glad that he had been able to relax. She had hoped finally admitting it to someone would help.

To be fair, she needed it too.

More than most could know.

[sirikenobi12]

The Empty Nest

So, I’m working on this fic, but it’s not exactly coming together the way that I want it to so I decided to post the one part of it I’m feeling good about - that and been seeing all the April Angst posts and wanted to help shatter some hearts! 

                   ++++++++++++

“Don’t, don’t you DARE say her name!” Anakin Skywalker hissed. “You don’t have that luxury anymore.” 

“Anakin,” a much calmer yet equally raw voice answered. “We should be able to talk about her, I miss her too.” 

“Stop it.” Anakin continued to throw items in the box. “You lost that right when you turned your back on her.” 

Obi-Wan released a pent up breath and considered his words carefully. “I, we never turned our backs on her…” 

“Abandoned her then!”

“Anakin, we’ve been over this so many times.” Obi-Wan folded his arms into his sleeves, a nervous habit of his left over from his Padawan days. “We were left with little choice, the moment she ran we lost all chances of keeping this as an internal Jedi affair. Her actions robbed us the opportunity to even defend her, we lost all credibility in the eyes of the Senate, the people...how can you not see this?” 

“You could’ve fought for her!” The younger man cried. 

“...We did. Fight for her.” Obi-Wan’s voice caught. “And we lost.” 

Anakin shook his head and tossed another item in the box. “Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.”

Obi-Wan moved towards his former apprentice. “Come, sit with me and have some tea. We can work through these emotions, together.”

“I don’t want tea.”

“Whiskey then.” Obi-Wan offered a genuine smile and moved towards the kitchen.

“I want Ahsoka back,” Anakin’s voice trembled.

Obi-Wan kept his back towards Anakin, his shoulders slumped. “...so do I, Anakin.”

After a moment of silence Obi-Wan returned with two tumblers that contained a small amount of brown liquor. He held one out to Anakin who took it, ungratefully.

“To Ahsoka’s new adventure.” Obi-Wan held up his glass as if to toast.

Anakin slammed his down on the table. “That’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be.”

“She’s out there, alone. With nothing to fall back on and you are toasting her like she graduated from a University or something?!” Anakin moved back towards his room to grab more of his things.

“Anakin, she is figuring out where her place is in the galaxy. That should be something we celebrate. Our Padawan has grown up into a remarkable young woman.” Obi-Wan said as he contemplated his own drink.

“MY Padawan!” Anakin shot back. “And she’s out there on her own, with nothing.”

“She is highly educated and skilled, she has plenty to fall back on. Plus, it was her choice to go at this alone. She could go back to her birth family if she wanted to - Madame Jocasta offered to help her with that. Or she could go live with the people of Kiros, you know Governor Rosti would offer her any job she wanted. Seven hells Anakin, I’m sure Padme would take her in in a heartbeat.”

Anakin’s head snapped up at this. “Yeah...yeah she would.”

“Ahsoka made the choice to do this on her own and we have to honor that decision, no matter how much it hurts.” Obi-Wan moved closer to Anakin, bringing their glasses with him.

Anakin’s eyes were bloodshot, Obi-Wan wondered how long it had been since his former Padawan had slept. Anakin accepted the glass, reluctantly.

“...so we didn’t abandon her?” His voice was so low it was difficult to hear.

Obi-Wan shook his head. “No, of course we didn’t. Did you honestly think Master Yoda, Master Koon or I would actually let her leave without something to fall back on? What type of monsters do you think we are, Anakin?”

“Then that means...she abandoned me.” Anakin’s voice trembled.

“Anakin, that’s not fair…”

Obi-Wan was suddenly slapped in the face yet again by how much Anakin reminded him of Qui-Gon. Memories surfaced of being thirteen years old and choosing to leave the Jedi in order to help the Young fight their war, all the while sensing (and later learning) that his Master took it as Obi-Wan abandoning and betraying him. There had been a rift in their bond for several years because of it, and it took him far too long to regain Qui-Gon’s trust. In the chance that Ahsoka might come back into their lives one day he couldn’t let history repeat itself.

“Anakin, I know this hurts. But, she didn’t ‘abandon’ you.” He stepped forward and risked placing a soft hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “I promise you, if she actually thought you felt like she did this to punish you then she’d never forgive herself.”

“You don’t know that,” Anakin turned his back on Obi-Wan, unable to look at him. “You don’t know anything.”

“I do know about this, trust me, Padawan.” Obi-Wan reached up to try and turn Anakin around, expecting to hear Anakin’s usual argument about how he isn’t a Padawan any longer.

“This is all your fault, you know. I didn’t even want a Padawan…” Tears began to silently slip down Anakin’s cheeks. “You set the whole thing up and made me care about her!”

“Anakin, the Force wills…”

“Stop it!” Anakin screamed. “You never listen to me! I told you I didn’t want a Padawan, I then told you she was innocent...you, you forced her on me and then you didn’t fight harder for her against the Council and against Tarkin...and now she’s gone. And all of this, this whole stupid war is YOUR fault!”

Obi-Wan stood, stunned.

“I think...I think I need some time away from you right now.” Anakin tried to compose himself. “Just, reassign the 501st somewhere, I need to put as many systems between you and I as I can right now.”

“Masters Tiplee and Tiplar have requested reinforcements on Ringo Vinda.” Obi-Wan did his best to keep emotions out of his voice. “I will put in a the order to have the 501st sent there at once.”

“Good.”

Obi-Wan stood still as he watched Anakin gather the last of his belongings and toss them in the box. The Knight then angrily picked up the box and shoved his way out of the apartment.

“You don’t have to move out right this second, you know.” Obi-Wan said finally. “There will be time for all of that later.”

Anakin looked back at his former Master. “We’ve put this off way too long as it is. If Ahsoka’s moving on, then perhaps it’s time for us to move on too.”

They locked eyes for a moment, both playing a game of chicken with the other, yet both secretly hoping the other would fight for Anakin to stay.

“You must do what you feel is right, of course.” Obi-Wan finally said, clearing the lump from his throat.

“Yeah, see you around. I guess.” Anakin huffed and the cold durasteel door swished shut behind him, leaving Obi-Wan Kenobi once again with his thoughts.

[fallenrepublick]

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

Okay but what if... What if you dated both brothers back-to-back at around the same time? First Thrass, then Thrawn?

Maybe you were drawn to Thrass initially, and you loved him for his kindness and sincerity, but his duty as a Syndic started causing a rift between you two. The paranoia and manipulation of Chiss politics maybe started mingling with his personal life instead of staying at work, and usually peaceful nights became wrought with anxiety and doubt.

"How can you lie to someone's face like that?" "These people would see Thrawn die, and you're not trying to protect him?" "How do I know you won't turn against me if the Ascendancy decided-"

The arguments only got more intense, and with heavy hearts the two of you agreed to spend some time apart.

And then, you started working closely with Thrawn. Thrawn, who kept nothing a secret and who's transparency and straightforwardness eased your previous anxieties. You fell in love with his mind and mannerisms, and before you knew it the two of you were kissing behind a sculpture in his favorite art gallery.

All this to say, you ended up choosing him. Thrass could only pretend he was fine for so long - you'd been decent enough to tell him directly that you were now dating Thrawn, and yet he couldn't decide if he'd rather you just ghosted him instead. Some would say you moved on a little too fast, but Thrass understood. He knew you intimately after all, and he always regretted not being able to be completely open with you about everything the way his brother could.

However, speaking of things moving too fast...

He would rather have gotten a call about literally anything else that day. He would have more easily accepted news of the Ascendancy going to war, or that he would be losing his position. Even excommunicated from the Mitth entirely. That would have sat better with him than-

"I'm going to be a father." Thrawn explained matter-of-factly in his signature Thrawn fashion, though there was the slightest bit more excitement in his tone than normal.

"That's..." He felt his heart sink to the depths, any hope of possibly ever returning to you tarnished in a single sentence. You'd only been with Thrawn a few months, and already... "Congratulations."

Thrass couldn't fully pay attention after that. He heard the core words like "union" and "family" and "marriage", and something about if he'd be willing to officiate as a representative of the Mitth. He must have absent-mindedly agreed, since that's what he ended up doing.

It took everything in him to pretend. Part of him was happy for you of course, but it still pained him to see you together. He couldn't decide if it pained him even more that he was still so directly involved in your lives, witnessing every milestone you achieved together. It's not like you were never concerned about how he felt either, though, always asking him if he was okay or if he ever wanted to talk. He'd always dismiss any inquiries with a smile and convincingly content demeanor, even sharing a dance with you at the ceremony.

The moment he excused himself from the premises, the tears wouldn't stop. Even now, years later, they'd sometimes sneak up on him from out of nowhere. It was difficult to even identify the triggers anymore. Maybe this time it was due to those intrusive late-night thoughts of what could have been, or worse, what potentially currently was.

He was a good uncle, always making time to watch the kids when it was needed. The oldest one, the one who had been often told "you take from your uncle" and "your uncle looked like you at your age" was particularly fond of him. They would spend time bonding over something or another when the younger one was content to play off on their own. This oldest kid, who was allegedly born two months early, according to the timeline. This kid...

It could very well all be coincidental, but this kid...

Somehow, he didn't think it was a coincidence. You would get sick every now and then around the time you broke it off, before you had ever even gotten close to Thrawn. He wondered if you had ever suspected, if Thrawn had ever suspected. If the two of you had it was never discussed with him, and that was probably for the best.

Because if he offically had a child with you, the regrets and pain and dreams of what could have been would not only haunt him as they already were, but they'd be literally staring him in the face - with those eyes on a face that resembled his own.

He was fine being uncle Thrass.

He was fine not being yours, anymore.

He was fine drowning himself in his work and drinking all those bad thoughts away.

He was fine.

That’s it. I’m revoking your Author Pass. You’re fired.

But goddammit now I’m thinking...

Thrawn’s... not stupid. He knows the math doesn’t add up. He knows the kid was too healthy to be premature. He knows good, fucking well, that no matter what happens, no matter what his brother tells himself, he isn’t going to handle that knowledge as well as he thinks he will. Thrass has a habit of showing up in places he doesn’t need to be, and when it comes down to it, he will be around these children on a frequent, if not constant, basis, just by virtue of being family.

And he’s not possessive. It only makes sense that they would attach themselves to him. After all, he was always the more obviously emotional of the two, being the one that can outwardly express himself in easier ways. Of course the children would respond well to it. But he isn’t blind either, and he can see clearly that the way Thrass interacts with the eldest is simply, undeniably, different. And uncharacteristically, against every way he’s ever reacted to a scenario, he finds that he hates it. He despises every word his brother speaks to the child, so naturally similar to the way they talk, their facial features so glaringly close that even the most distant of passerby could see it.

He holds to that child, almost in desperation, teaching them what he knows, trying and trying again to relate to them in some way, his attempts failing at every turn as the disinterested child looks to the interests they share with the other. The spare. But he doesn’t stop, he tries, tries again, even attempting to endure the things they enjoy instead, tedious and ridiculous as he may have otherwise found them, just for a moment’s taste of a connection. The others relate to him easily, a perfect combination of who you are with who he is, and he wants it with the eldest, no matter what it may cost him. Yet their eyes never stop searching for Thrass, only making Thrawn’s bitterness turn to resentment.

And there does come a time when the brothers are alone together, Thrass sadly organising the shelves in his home while Thrawn sits darkly in thought. And eventually, Thrawn asks,

“How much do you know?”

Thrass stops in his tracks, setting down the books in his hands, failing to hide the guilt displayed on his face. “Know about what?”

Thrawn’s eyes narrow, his lips contorting in a daring grimace. “Don’t insult me.”

How could Thrass deny it? How could he hide what was so clear to see? To continue to claim innocence of it would be to damn himself forever. But he looks away.

“It was before you had anything to do with it.”

“And that changes this?” Thrawn stands, back straightened and arms crossed over his chest as he looms above his brother, who still refused to look him in the eye. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You may have come first, but I am their father, no matter how much you seem to conveniently forget so. I have let your proximity pass for this long. But I warn you now, and I will not do so again. Do not test me.”

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #20

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: As always, Judith belongs to @judediangelo75, I love borrowing her so much!

Word Count: ~ 2.200

_____________________________________________________________

Chapter 20: Support

Orion woke even earlier than usual on the day of their match against Slytherin. The little light filtering into the dorm from the semi-circular windows in the upper part of the masonry was tinged blue with the promise of dawn being near.

He took great care not to wake anyone as he quietly got dressed and left for the Quidditch pitch. Watching the sunrise had become a habit for him ever since the Christmas break; he found it was the best way to greet the new day properly and feel at one with himself and the universe.

One thing he always told his teammates was how important pre-match rituals were to channel their focus; today was the first time he had decided to skip his own. Usually, he would set his mind by meditating over the pictures of his team, his family, he had collected over the years. It reminded him where his heart was lying and why he was doing all of this.

But now, looking at the pictures of them all happily together led to nothing but pain and regret. They were showing different times, when they had been unburdened by the strains weighing down on the bond holding them together.

The whole team had fallen off balance.

Since the tensions that had been simmering beneath the surface had come to a head, Everett had become openly hostile towards him. His derisive tone and snarky remarks would usually have washed off him, Orion’s ease of mind being too strong to let someone as impulsive as Everett get to him.

But as of late, Orion’s patience had begun to wear thin and he felt himself reciprocating the negative energy surrounding him. He knew that he was a good captain and that the majority of his team respected his uncommon style of leadership. But upon seeing the rift that was splitting the Hufflepuff team into separate groups, he couldn’t help but ask himself if he had done all in his power to prevent it from happening.

He wasn’t the only one to be disdainful of Everett’s behaviour; no one really seemed to like him.

Orion almost felt sorry for Judith for having to put up with him as her partner on the pitch. Granted, they worked well as a pair, Judith’s cleverness and experience as a Beater complementing the sheer strength and aggressiveness Everett typically displayed.

But off the pitch, he shunned the rest of the team, preferring the company of the other boy’s sharing their dorm. Not that the other players minded; the only one willing to put up with him was Brian, their Keeper, but even he could be seen rolling his eyes at Everett’s attitude more often than not.

Judith and Lucy kept to themselves most of the time. Neither of them had a factual problem with any of their teammates but they had no sense for the drama either. They just wanted to play and play well; the internal quarrels of the team endangering their chance at the Quidditch cup didn’t sit well with them.

The last faction of their once united team consisted of Lizzie and Skye. Lizzie didn’t have any issues with anyone, except Everett perhaps; but her loyalty had her stick to Skye, who was shunned by the rest after the tantrum she had thrown.

Much to his surprise, Skye had sought him out the same evening to apologise for her behaviour; she had apologised twice, once to him as her captain, and once to him as her friend. Her regret had been palpable and Lizzie’s plea for her still fresh in his mind; so he had accepted her back in the line-up, albeit under one condition.

The greater part of the players was still mad at her antics, no matter what her personal reasons for them were. If she wanted to play against Slytherin, she would have to make a third apology to the entire team. Skye had agreed instantly.

When arguments would arise time and again, he was most inclined to take the side of Skye and Lizzie; not only because they shared a position, but also because they were the ones he had always felt most connected to.

Seeing the fragile construct that had become the Hufflepuff team, however, he didn’t dare rip another cornerstone from its foundation by giving up his neutrality. Besides, it was clear as day that Lizzie wouldn’t have wanted him to.

They had returned to where they had left off at the end of last year; once more, Lizzie wasn’t speaking to him, positively darting from the scene whenever he came near her. She had even missed the Herbology session the day before; Rowan had muttered something about her not feeling well.

As much as Orion had been furious with Skye for blurting out what he hadn’t dared to admit even to himself, he had felt relieved after he had had a chance to think about the matter. The constant back and forth between Lizzie and him claimed the majority of his attention and distracted him from everything else.

He had hoped that after their discussion something would change between them, one way or another. They were standing on the verge of a crossroads and the uncertainty of where the journey might take them occupied all of Orion’s heart and mind. But instead of taking a step forward, they had turned around and moved back in the direction they had come from.

Orion knew which way he wanted to go, but it was not a path he could walk on his own.

All these thoughts were running through his mind as he entered the Quidditch pitch. The mist was still hanging over the dewy lawn as he mounted his broom and flew to a comfortable height before carefully standing up, taking a moment to find his balance and waiting for the day to begin.

*

He stayed on his broom long until after the sun had gone up and the morning had turned to noon; all the while his thoughts were ebbing and flowing until they became steady, focused solely on what lay ahead.

Before his legs were growing too tired, he abandoned his meditation exercise and headed back to the castle. By the time he reached the Great Hall, it was already packed with students enjoying their lunch. The vast room was buzzing with excited chatter about the imminent start of the match.

The only people not visibly bouncing with anticipation were the Slytherin and Hufflepuff teams; both were huddled at their House tables lining the far ends of the walls, looking rather strained.

His teammates had assembled at the head of the Hufflepuff table, set apart from the rest by their canary and black sweaters bearing their squad numbers. Contrary to the noise around them, neither of them spoke a word, everyone coping with their pre-match nerves in their own way.

As McNully took great care not to sit with them on matchdays due to impartiality issues, Orion sat down next to Skye, who was furiously poking at her food. He could have sat anywhere, but he wanted to make a point to the rest by actively seeking her company; if he could forgive her, the others should be able to as well.

She looked up from her plate, her freckled face paler than usual. “There you are, Captain. Ready for the match?”

“Are we ever truly ready for anything?” Orion asked back while piling vegetables onto his plate. Skye only grunted in reply before she returned to manhandling her lunch. But Orion wasn’t concentrating on her anyway.

To his surprise, the mood between his teammates seemed to be rather good. Everett and Judith had started going over their tactics in hushed voices; Orion could see how Judith tried hard not to roll her eyes at something Everett had just said. It was reassuring to know that she tried to put her disregard for the boastful Beater aside for the time being.

Lucy, who sat next to Judith, pushed her food from one side of her plate to the other without touching it; she was opening and closing her other hand subconsciously as if she was already reaching for the Snitch in her mind.

Unsurprisingly, Lizzie sat the farthest from him. She was the only one who didn’t even bother with trying to eat before heading to the pitch for their warm ups; Orion knew how nervous she got before every single game.

Lizzie hadn’t even acknowledged his arrival except for a minuscule glance in his direction. It had only lasted for the fraction of a second; now, her attention was fully fixed on the empty plate before her. Rowan sat by her side and babbled animatedly, but Lizzie didn’t seem to be listening.

Unlike her friend, Rowan had given him a wide smile and a wave when she had seen him approaching.

Orion had noticed that she was finally starting to relax around him. Although she was still doubtful of anything he said during the tutoring that didn’t agree with the textbook, since Lizzie had taken herself back from the teaching bit by bit, Rowan had learned to open her mind to his way thinking.

He was glad to see Lizzie had such a good friend to give her the support she needed. He’d had the impression that there had been a strain between the two girls, but judging at how adamant Rowan was at sharing her good mood with her anxious friend, they seemed to have overcome their differences. Rowan was a good and solid friend to Lizzie; something he had told her just yesterday.

*

Orion had been leaving the prefect bathroom he was allowed to use as captain of the Hufflepuff team the evening before. The atmosphere in the Common Room had already been bubbling with anticipation of the approaching match and the nervous energies had been too much for him to properly focus. A hot bath and the quietness of the exclusive bathroom had never failed to soothe the agitation burning inside him before every match.

He had almost bumped into Rowan as he had been rounding the corner of the hallway. He must have startled her because she gave a little shriek as she realised who it was she had run into. She answered his greeting with a stammered response, quickly hiding her bright pink washbag behind her back.

“What are you doing here?” She appeared to be flustered their unexpected meeting.

Orion smiled friendly at her. “I was just taking a bath to calm my mind.”

“Yes, of course, because of the match,” Rowan pushed her glasses up her nose, “everyone seems to be so nervous. Lizzie has been out of her mind for the last days.”

Orion could guess why; Lizzie had always been prone to getting overwhelmed by her nervousness but what had happened between them probably hadn’t done much to help her mindset. Their conversation had been subject of his own musings more than a few times as well. He had told no one of what had been said, not even McNully when he had interrogated him afterwards.

But only because he chose to keep things to himself didn’t mean Lizzie would do the same. He knew how deep her bond with Rowan ran and he assumed that she had told her best friend everything that had happened.

“I’m sorry to hear she feels unsettled,” he said softly. “Despite everything, I hope she can find the focus necessary to perform to her own standard when the time is right.” He smiled sincerely at the girl in front of him. “She can count herself lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you supporting her; how can we soar freely when we have no safe place to land?”

Rowan’s cheeks flushed at the compliment, but it was masked by the dim light of the dark corridor.

“Of course I support her,” she whispered. “Lizzie is my best friend; she means the world to me.”

“Yes, she has a singular spirit, indeed,” Orion agreed wistfully. He shivered, and not only from his still wet hair that was slowly drying in the cold air. He ran his hand through it and shifted his weight in the direction he had been going before.

“Are you coming to cheer her on tomorrow?” he asked over his shoulder as he moved past Rowan.

“Of course I will, all of you,” she beamed back at him.

“Then I’m sure there is no way we can fail,” he winked at her. “I’m looking forward to seeing you on the stands.”

Orion inclined his head towards her and walked off on his way to the now hopefully quieter Common Room. He didn’t turn around again, so he couldn’t see the dreamy look on Rowan’s face as she stared after him.

[skylarmoon71]

Eobard Thawne x Reader (Flash)- Chapter 10(B)

The day was just about to end, and as much as you wanted to avoid it, you had a lot to talk about with Eobard. You finally picked yourself up off the ground from the basement. It was a challenge just to get up the stairs.

You were a bit scared to confront Eobard, or look. Just being in the same space now had you anxious, just not for the reasons as when you first landed it this messed up reality. As you got to the living room you could see him. You approached slowly, when he saw you his gaze lifted.

"Earlier, you told me not to worry. That it happened before. Not just that but you felt the bullet. How?"

Eobard was leaning against the wall, and your statement made him straighten. "I believe in some weird way we're connected in this time. And as for the unexplained healing, your body did the same thing. I've never seen anything like it. I've been manipulating time for as long as I could breathe, but what you did, it's like you have control of it. Yet you seem to insist you're human. No human can do the things I've seen you done."

"It just seems so impossible. I'm not some celestial being. So how is this happening?"

"What exactly happened in the future. You were chasing me, you've said as much. But something else happened. "

The future.

You gave him a quick glance, looking back at your feet.

"I was hunting you, and I finally made progress. Everyone thought you were dead, but I knew better. When I found you, there was something in the warehouse. You were building some type of machine. I was convinced I'd die there, so I tried to destroy whatever you were building. I think it worked too, the machine exploded, but the blast hit me and you. After that all I could remember was waking up in the past, in STAR Labs. " 

Eobard took a seat on the opposite side of the table, going over all you'd said.

"Is it possible that your machine was some kind of time vault to get back to the past."

"It is possible." He still had a very serious look on his face.

"If what you've said is true, you must have entered at the same time the particle accelerator exploded."

You still didn't really get what he was trying to say.

"So I'm a meta?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. If you recall, the particle accelerator is what gave Barry his powers. It's connected to the speed force. At that very moment you came from the past. The creation of the flash, and a traveler from the future. Two time anomalies occurring at the same time. No wonder your body keeps healing itself."

"So you know what's going on!"

"Not the slightest clue." You just gave him a blank stare.

"Thawne." 

It was a warning call, and he just wore that stupidly superior smile of his.

"What I'm saying is, I believe the reason behind your newfound abilities is because you were caught between two extraordinary events in time. Time has no idea what to do with you. So you're stuck between two rifts. The past and the future. "

"Are you saying I'm immortal?"

"Who knows. I'd avoid getting any more life threatening injuries. We're not sure what'll happen the next time. You may heal, or you may just explode. "

"Explode!!"

"It's a theory."

How could he say stuff so casually. The bastard, he was probably having fun watching you squirm.

"Well just remember if anything happens to me you'll be stuck here." You had a little leverage.

"I guess that just means I'll have to make sure nothing else happens to you. " You really didn't expect him to say that. You thought he'd make another wisecrack.

"Eobard, why do you hate the flash."

It came out of nowhere, but if you were going to try and stop hating the guy, you figured the least he could do was tell you why. He looked more guarded now. He leaned back in his chair, or for a second you could see the hate flash in his eyes. But was it really hate or was it...betrayal.

"It's not important." He said tightly. Being around him for so long gave you a better idea of some of his expressions. Right now you could tell he was going to run. Before he could move, you grabbed his hand from across the table. He froze at the contact. When you looked at him this time, it was with sympathy.

"I know exactly why I hate you Eobard, you tore my family apart. I've wanted nothing more than to deliver that same pain that I lived through everyday. Now as it stands, I'm your only ticket out of here, and I've decided that if we're going to get out of this, we need to stop hating each and start trusting. No one else in this time knows, or even understands what's going on. We only have each other. You owe me Eobard. Tell me. Why do you hate Barry?"

With your hand over his, he physically couldn't get away. His body relaxed slightly, and he leaned back closer to you, placing his elbows on the table. "He was my idol, my dream was to be just like him. I made some mistakes, but he should have tried harder. He betrayed me. He turned me into this. I never chose to be a monster, I only became what everyone else saw. " 

The spite in his voice, it was familiar. You heard it before.

"Do you want to be a monster?" 

He gave you an incredulous look. "Of course not! Are you mocking me!" you could feel him start to vibrate against your hold and you stood, rounding the table. You pulled him out of the chair, and into a hug. All at once, you could feel his body start to return to normal. His arms were stiff. He must have been completely confused.

"I'm tired, Eobard. Of everything. I don't want to be angry anymore. I just want to live. What's happened already, I'll let it go. My father...my family, I'll give it all up. I'm willing to forgive you for everything, but only if you agree to do the same. I'll even get you back to your time. I-I'll find a way I don't know how but I'll do whatever you want!" you stood there, pouring your heart out to him. "I don't want to feel like this ever again. '' 

When you pulled back, the look you gave almost brought him to his knees. Somehow, looking at you so helpless, he knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness. He didn't deserve anything. Reaching up, you carefully took the glasses off his face, placing it on the table behind you.

"Why are you doing this.." It was the first thing he said since you started your little rant.

"Because, my dad always said that monsters aren't born, they're created. I'm sorry Eobard. I played a big part in making you a monster. If you can forgive me, then maybe I'll finally be able to find some peace. I want to move on."

He could have laughed. You were asking him for forgiveness.

"I wish I could believe you, but words are nothing more than that. Words. I've used them more than enough to know. People say what they want to get what they need. " you chuckled under your breath. Perceptive as ever.

"I guess you're right." You could see the way he was now leering at you.

"So what is that you want (Y/N)?"

You took one deep breath before speaking. You weren’t sure what you were about to say for a second, maybe tell him that you could be friends. But the moment you looked at him, your eyes lingered on his lips, and you felt as though your body was moving on it’s own.

"I guess....this." 

Standing on your toes, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his. Eobard's body all but shut down.

"Is she really.." There was no doubt about it, you, you were kissing him. He would have slapped himself if he could get his body to move.

The entire time your lips were connected, he didn't move, and when you pulled back, you just watched him.

Waiting for something, anything. Even a vibrating hand to the chest right now would have been better than his complete silence.

[meat-snax]

thinking again about my prismatic max au and started thinking about how the presence of the vices would change the episodes

I think the biggest change would be the ending of season 3 seeing that we don’t know exactly the timeline and I want the vices to remain in the TTG series so,,, I more or less wrote how it would go

Major spoilers for 305 obviously, also really REALLY long text under the cut

everything on the outside remains the same; Max is still an eldritch beast rampaging the city, the flaming Max heads are still flying around everywhere, etc. On the inside, however, the Max heads are changed to the vice versions of Max and are actually helpful to Sam rather than annoying.

The primary area, Max’s stomach, is occupied by Gluttony, who’s more focused on eating the corn dogs Elder Max is consuming to do anything initially. The gang goes up to the head as usual, and they find Sloth curled up on the couch. Like Gluttony, Sloth ignores everyone, until Sam goes to open the door to Max’s brain, to which he tells him it’s no use. He explains that Pride locked himself in there, and he’s sending away anyone who tries to enter. Sam, being the stubborn bastard he is, tries anyway, and the group is separated as usual.

Sam goes through to find everyone, and finds Wrath with Papierwaite and Yog-Soggoth in the arm control, Envy and Lust with Sybil in the leg control, and Greed alone in Max’s inventory. The arm control is the first and easiest to take care of, as Wrath is able to tell Sam that he needs to say the opposite of what’s on screen out of frustration. When the control room is contaminated, Wrath is the one to take Sam to safety, agreeing to help to the best of his ability. Their first stop is the head again, to attempt to get Sloth’s help as well. Sloth tells Wrath exactly what he told Sam before, which makes Wrath mad and prompts him to start pounding on the door. Since he himself is also a part of Max, he isn’t teleported away, something that Sloth seemingly hadn’t expected. As Wrath continues to beat on the door, Sloth gets up to stop him, and their colors blend as they touch. Almost as quickly, Sloth disappears and “Wrath” gains his blue color on half his body; Sam realizes that in order to get into Max’s brain and take down Pride, he’s going to have to collect the vices into one being.

With this new plan and Pseudo-Max (who’s ever so slightly more like his old self) in tow, they head to the leg control. They talk to Lust first, who’s quick to agree to help without much detail, and Pseudo-Max gains another color. They attempt to do the same with Envy, but he refuses to even listen, instead broadcasting false thoughts in order to turn Sybil against Sam. Both Sam and Pseudo-Max try to convince her to use the treadmill so they can control the legs, but with Envy still separate and broadcasting thoughts, she refuses. Sam and Pseudo-Max then proceed to Max’s inventory to get Sam Jr.. Greed gets upset with them for trying to steal his things, but is quick to shift his anger towards Pride when Pseudo-Max explains what’s going on. He helps them get Sam Jr., then merges into Pseudo-Max as well.

They return to the leg control and Sybil sees how Sam reacts to Sam Jr. getting insulted, finally agreeing to use the treadmill. Envy finally listens to them once he notices that his broadcast isn’t working, and much like Greed, agrees to join once he hears of Pride. With the legs under control, they return to the stomach, where they trade the corn dog with Sam Jr.. Gluttony gets disgusted as Sal comes flying in, as bugs are one of the few things he refuses to eat (for plot purposes), and he’s quick to merge with Pseudo-Max as well as there’s nothing else to eat, thus nothing better to do in his opinion.

As usual again, Sal is sent to help Papierwaite and Yog-Soggoth with the arm controls, and once he succeeds, they shock Elder Max to dismantle the lock of the door to the brain. Sam and the nearly fully formed Pseudo-Max go in to find Pride, only to find that he’s stuck behind Dark Dimension tentacles. Rather than finding Max’s Super-Ego as they do in the actual episode, they instead find another Max, one that doesn’t have his vices showing. He reveals that he split his vices in his own body in hopes that, if they remained pitted against each other, that they would disperse once he went back to normal and he could go back to a normal life without them. Pseudo-Max attempts to lash out at him, but Sam holds him back, telling him they should talk to Pride first to see what can be done.

They do so, and Pride explains that in order for Max to ever go back to his lagomorphic self, he had to re-merge with his vices. Since his vices had been present for so long, his memories now lied with the vices rather than him, and without memories he would be entirely unable to shift out of his Elder Max form. Sam asks how he can get Pride free from the tentacles, and he gives them the Astral Projector, telling Sam that Pseudo-Max should have the memories necessary to retrieve the Cthonic Destroyer and free him. The Astral Projection sequence remains the same, and they’re able to free Pride and successfully merge him with the now complete Vice Max.

The two Max’s confront each other, and gradually Vice Max convinces him that literally tearing himself apart will only harm him. Brain Max insists as a last straw that he’s the real Max and no one else, to which Vice Max agrees, telling him that no one is taking that from him. Dr. Momma Bosco gives one last warning as Brain Max finally relents, allowing Vice Max to merge with him. With all the pieces together and finally at peace with each other, Elder Max’s form begins to fracture, and Max teleports everyone out of him before the form crumbles completely, returning him to his normal state without the colors of the vices.

There’s a brief scare as Max falls, getting buried in the rubble. Sam panics much like he does at the end of 304, immediately going to search for him and pulling him out. He kneels there for a while, just holding Max tightly, and just before the credits roll, Max returns the hug and the screen fades out.

After the credits, a scene plays of Sam and Max (now with his pristine white fur again) moving stuff back into their office, newly remodeled after the dimensional rift they created in 301 is closed, now with Skunkape sealed away for good (at least for now). They’re discussing what movie they should watch once their T.V. is hooked back up, arguing back and forth between laughably horrible slasher (Max) or cheesy rom-com (Sam). When the argument starts getting more intense, the phone rings, and the episode fully ends with Sam and Max’s usual scuffle over who gets to answer.