#i have no motivation to draw anything at all

[vanoodle]

Imagine you are a child and draw something with your crayons. Drawing it makes you really happy and at the end you get up and proudly show your drawing to your parents but you get no reaction.

Now imagine you're working on a project. You've made progress on it and you're so proud of it that you post it in the group chat you have with your friends. Again you get no reaction.

Then later you find out that one of your friends showed your project to another group chat you aren't in and said "Look at this, isn't it cool?" But for some reason, they didn't tell you they thought that. Wouldn't that hurt?

That, essentially, is what posting fanfic is. Or literally any kind of fanfwork that you post for the fandom to find.

Of course not all of these people who can see your fanwork are your friends, they're strangers a lot of the time but you're in the same fandom, the same community, so if feels similar. And so, when you post something to this "large friend group" called fandom, and you get no reaction, it feels like your friends (as in: fans of the same thing) not acknowledging the thing you made and wanted to share with them.

As for the writing vs posting part, I feel like many people mean "posting" when they say "writing" or a mix of the two. I have written quite a lot of fic that I have never posted. It sits on my hard drive and only I will ever get to see it. To other people however it will seem like I haven't written anything at all because they have no way of knowing that I made something.

Another part is whether or not I actually continue my fanfics. Many fanfics I have written for myself stop somewhere in the middle because I lose the drive to finish the story. If I were to post it and someone gives me a comment, this might give me the motivation to actually keep going with it.

Writing only for myself also makes me sloppy. I will no longer care about spelling or grammar or writing in a cohesive way. I'm only getting the thoughts out of my head and I can understand my own writing just fine, so why would I edit it? Why would I polish it?

The "write for yourself" argument has been made so so many times and while I understand that being guilt tripped into commenting doesn't feel nice and shouldn't be done, I also don't think that telling others to just "write for yourself" every time they express their desire for attention is that great of a move, either, and it bothers me each time I see it.

I DO write for myself, I LIKE writing for myself but I don't write for myself the way I will when I plan on posting something on AO3 to share it with others.

There's a genre of post that I see pretty frequently, which can overall be summed up as, "Modern fandom has a culture problem where fanfic authors are treated as content producers instead of community members and their fanfic is treated as a commodity to be consumed instead of a high-effort labor of love that deserves attention and compliments given directly to the author". I agree with 3/4ths of that. I find the part I disagree with very interesting, the same way I find a lot of writeblr interesting, because it's a perspective that I had to work very hard to actually understand.

Because the posts have such a warped view of what writing is and why we post our writing! They say that fanfic fights against the commodified internet we live in, but all they're doing is changing the currency of payment in this attention economy. Another way you can summarize about 70% of these posts is, "My payment for writing and posting my fanfiction is compliments, and if you do not give me those compliments you are not paying. If you give those compliments behind my back, or talk about them privately without giving them to me as well, then you are stealing from me." I don't want to put it like that, but a lot of these posts use words like 'deprive', as if the reader who enjoys the fic without commenting is withholding something from them that they deserve. They use the word engagement, and they do talk about how part of that engagement is just the joy of talking about AUs and ships with other people, but when people say that comments are their motivation to keep writing, what they mean is that validation is their motivation to keep writing. Which is compliments.

I understand that, because I understand that fanfic writers are not immune to the attention economy. But I don't understand how almost every one of these posts talk about how this lack of attention makes them stop writing - that this act of theft is killing their desire to write. I could understand this if they meant 'desire to POST fic' (I don't post fic I think zero people would read.), but they talk about how lack of payment stops them from writing at all.

IMHO, that is what creates a commodity from fic. People want to treat fic as art, but an artist makes art for themself. Art is made because we want to hold parts of skills and ourselves in our hands. If you won't make art if you get no payment, then you have devalued the art completely.

We think of AO3 as this unique site that's born entirely from passion and is filled with fics written for love of the game. But guilt-tripping posts that shame people for not commenting on a fic they enjoy, and that describe how there's no point in writing fic if it's not getting attention, are directly contributing towards the culture of treating fic like a commodity.

I also really want a fandom culture where the relationship between artist and reader is reciprocal, where it feels like a community, and where I get to talk about my fanfic with people. My favorite part of posting fanfic is rambling about it on my blog, because I can talk about my art all day and I love it when people stop and listen. But I love that because I love my own art. If you love your own art, then it'll always have value.

Also Google your username, just trust me, that's how you find The Secret Discussions. Someone made a TikTok fansong of me once. WHAT?

[mr-ys-phantasma]

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1433

Finale II - part 1/3 (Agatha X Reader X Rio ending):

Everything happened too fast for anyone to realize it, including you.

When you pushed Agatha out of the way, you were prepared to get harmed if it meant saving her but when you felt the blade digging itself into your skin; you could not help but look at Rio with a surprised look.

Your own momentum almost sent you to the ground, but you managed to remain on your weak legs, hands quickly moving to your chest as you felt the familiar handle of Rio's blade.

Thank your lucky stars, it was not deep enough to reach your hand but it was deep enough to draw blood; the dark blade alone working as a barrier and only allowed little bit of blood to escape with each passing second.

Your eyes grew wider, the feeling of your warm blood against your fingers and the fact that you had been stabbed; made your heart beat faster and your legs to give up.

Thankfully, Billy was quick to catch you and help you lean against him; his eyes filled with fear at the sight of the knife lodged into your chest.

"No, no, no..." he repeated in a low whisper, fearing he would lose you right there, and he was not ready for it.

Agatha had just recovered from the forceful push, only to see you almost collapsing; Rio's knife in your chest. She paled at the sight, almost losing the earth beneath her feet, and rushed to your side to check that you were alright.

She did not even care that she turned her back on Rio or that she could be attacked, her primary concern being you.

She didn't get attacked, for Rio also had to step back and process what was going on.

When she attacked Agatha's blind spot with the dagger, she never went with the intention of killing her. Harming her was her original plan, drawing some blood and firing Billy to surrender himself.

Then, she would heal her former lover and continue like normal.

So when you chose to play it as a hero and interfere, she did not expect it. She didn't manage to pull back her attack, and now her blade was stuck in you.

Rio tried to approach, for she was the only one that could heal you, and she was not going to let you die like this.

Her intentions were read wrong as both Billy and Agatha went into the defensive. Purple and blue magic glowed brightly as a warning that they would not hesitate to blast Rio if she dared to come closer.

"Stay away! You did this to her!" Billy shouted, anger rising within as tears threatened to escape.

Rio got annoyed and wounded by his words. She was trying to help to save you, and yet she was treated like the bad guy; again.

"I did nothing." She said, trying to salvage her pride and not show how she felt being treatead like the villain when she was anything but that. "She was never meant to be here,"

Billy looked at Rio, trying to understand her motives and if she was lying. "What are you talking about?" He questioned. "Her name was on the paper Lilia wrote!"

Rio felt amused by the naive nature of the teenager. "Did you see it? Are you so sure about it?" She asked, and Billy looked at Agatha, but she avoided his gaze; something she did when guilty. "She brought her into this, and it looks like what happened now!" Rio pointed a finger at Agatha.

If Agatha had just accepted the rule bending Rio did for her, if she had accepted Nicky's passing... all this wouldn't have happened.

If Agatha had not pulled you into this crazy road for a second time. If she had not stubbornly tried to keep you close when you were not meant to be present... you wouldn't be fighting for your life.

Agatha did not have the courage to look at anyone, especially you. She never told anyone that your name was not on the paper, and she was surprised Lilia didn't either.

But as she saw you on your knees, a knife in your chest... she felt guilty. And as she fought back this foul emotion... her mind brought back a certain memory of her haunted, painful past.

《《《《《《《《《《《《《《 Flashback 》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

It was a sunny and warm day, early spring, but it did feel as if summer was far closer. Agatha liked this weather, not too cold or hot.

Nicky did, too, for he had the chance to run and roll and play amongst hundreds of flowers. Dandelions, though, were always his favourites.

That particular day, Agatha and Nicky were walking down a familiar path; travelling between towns. Nicky's little goat was tied and following close behind, trying to stop occasionally to eat some of the flowers and grass.

"Mamma," Nicky started and glanced at Agatha, who was once again busy reading. "Why doesn't Aunt Y/N join us on the travels?"

Agatha flipped a page on her little book but did steal a glance at her son. His bright, innocent eyes were so empathic and deep, capable of seeing through anyone's soul.

"Because her path is solitary. This is her choice."

Agatha couldn't really explain to her young son the complex relationships she had with you or what drove your decisions.

She couldn't really explain how you did not wish to kill other witches or just travel the world, faking one lie after the other to get the sympathy of fellow witches just to kill them.

And she sure couldn't explain how often you did this, choosing to stay back and suffice with simple short visits. But that satisfied you, it kept you alive and Agatha always had.someone she could turn to if she needed help.

"But she seemed so sad to let us go," Nicky commented, glancing forward and slightly down as he rememered the sad smile you gave him the day you both had to say goodbye; for now. "I wish she could join us, so we can be all three together."

Agatha did not comment, but her son's words did put her in deep thoughts. Truthfully, she had asked you to join her her a couple of times, even before little Nicky was born, but you bad politely refused.

She thought over the idea you, her, and Nicky could form a trio coven, even though her son had no magic.

《《《《《《《《《《《《《 Present Time 》》》》》》》》》》》》》

In the present, Agatha came to realize something important. Every time you had chosen not to join her, you had remained alive and safe.

Yet this one time you took the risk and joined her, You were so close to dying; and she would never admit it out loud, but she was at fault.

Rio's words, now, hurt more than ever, and she glared at her former lover.

Agatha might had persuaded you to try this plan of the Road but it was Rio's knife that was sticking out of your chest and it was her persistence to not let any of you go; that had led into this battle.

Of course, Rio wasn't faced by it, for this was such an Agatha thing.

Agatha liked to blame others when things didn't go her way, almost never accepting her part in things and never taking the responsibility she had to.

"You can't blame me for this, love. I am not the only one who causes death around her." Rio said, choosing to bring up the same words Agatha had so coldly told her after Lilia's trials.

Agatha, of course, was furious. "Shut up!"

Wasting no more time on talking and throwing the blame around, Agatha just blasted Rio with more force than before.

It did shock and threw Rio back, but the Green Witch was not one to let a single hit take her down. She returned the move, matching up the magic intensity.

Both had open wounds from one another. Both had pain and anger caused by one another.

Agatha wanted to just forget about her haunting past and pain, and Rio wanted to stop being blamed and used as an excuse.

Both wanted to put an end to this, both annoyed by the other that brought you into harms way.

As the battle continued, each sneaky attack became more and more personal.

Their magic caused wind, debri, and dirt to fly all around; easily causing you harm. Or they would have, if it wasn't for Billy using his magic to shield you both as the former lovers continued their fight.

Part 2/3

[unknown-cold]

In this interview Amanda said something that caught my attention. Do you think that in ep 8 Caitlyn will talk about what Jinx did to her when she kidnapped her? Bc Amanda said that in ep8 there's a Caitlyn line that will make us say "Oh so that's why"

Amanda means this line that Cait is going to say will let us know why she was so mad at Jinx in ep 3 and how Caitlyn went completely blind when she saw Jinx in her target and bc of her anger and also her fear and terror of Jinx, Cait has completely lost control of herself in this moment. (there is someone who made a post on this topic @loycos and talked about what happened to Cait in ep3 and how Cait didn't see Vi or Isha in front of her bc of her anger and her deeply terrified of Jinx) I mean look at her eyes and the expression on her face, yes she looks angry but she is also terrified.

This is a natural reaction. I mean for example, imagine that you see something that scares you so much. There are two reactions, either flight or fight, and these reactions always come without a person thinking. At this moment the person is only thinking about getting rid of the thing that scares him, and he does not focus on what is around him bc these strong feelings control him.

Anyway, what makes me sure that this scene might happen in ep 8 (Caitlyn talking about what happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her) is Reed Shannon (Ekko VA) comment when he saw the drawing and said "I thought this was a leak" Reed might be joking as usually, but why this particular drawing and why he chose this word "leak".

But honestly if this scene actually happened and we knew what happened to Caitlyn, it would make us understand more why she was so angry and scared of Jinx when she saw her in front of her and it would also explain why she literally went blind and didn't see anything around her at that moment, neither the child nor Vi, all Cait saw was Jinx, she just wants to bring down Jinx. I mean look at these pictures she is so terrified of her

Again Caitlyn's insistence on killing Jinx in the scene in ep 3 was not only motivated by revenge on Jinx, but also out of fear and terror of her.

And not like those idiots who say that Caitlyn wanted to kill the child on purpose to get to Jinx or even say that she wanted to kill Vi too, or bc she's a cop and the cops kill children and blah blah... That's really ridiculous and annoying!! Bc if we focus a little bit on the period that Caitlyn went through we will see that Cait didn't have time to process all these things that happened to her, from the torture that happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her, then the killing of her mother, then the attack on the memorial ceremony. (I know that Jinx is not the reason, but from Caitlyn's perspective she thinks that Jinx and the Silco followers are the reason)

And in the end I hope that no one comes who doesn't like the post bc I am defending Caitlyn's character. If you don't like this character I don't care, there is no need for you to write a stupid comments. Please don't tire your little fingers if you don't like my post block me this is better for you and me. I will not waste my time responding to you, I will delete your comment and block you immediately.

I am a student at the Faculty of Psychology, and when I talk about trauma and the interpretation of human behavior and reactions, I know well what I am talking about. Bc most of the characters' reactions in this show are very realistic and need to explanation, writers do not want to explain everything in the show, they want viewers to occupy their mind and explain the events themselves (And I still repeat the point that the show focuses on the development and complexity of the characters more than anything else, and does not focus on solving political issues, the show is not about politics, okay)

And btw some people ask me about my opinion of Jinx's character, I have no problem with her character at all, I like her and I understand her condition, when I criticize her actions, it doesn't mean I hate her.

One day I may do a post about her character development and her condition, but I see that there are many posts about her and her actions, and I feel like I won't say anything new about her. Unlike the rest of the characters like Vi and Caitlyn, there are not many people talking about them. And maybe I will make a Viktor post bc I really like the development of his character. When the show ends, maybe I will.

[faiell]

yapping about fics and commenting

sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL

ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.

i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.

i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.

and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.

when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.

then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.

and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.

is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.

ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.

so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).

YAPPING FINISHED. for now.

[yusiyomogi]

Hi, if it's okay to ask, do you have any thoughts about Mithrun's violent fits and SH during his recovery? It seems at odds with his otherwise apathetic and desireless state, as well as his one stated desire to find the demon (whether to kill it or be devoured by it). I'm not questioning that he'd be in the mental state to act this way, but he's supposed to lack the drive to act at all. Was it a manifestation of a desire Mithrun had but no-one connected the dots, a reflex born of suffering, or what?

it's a very interesting question! i don't think i can give any concrete answer, but i'll try to express my thoughts.

first of all, we need to define mithrun's condition once again. we know he lost all of his desires except for one, being consumed fully by the demon. the first interesting thing is that dunmeshi doesn't give us a perfect definition of what desire is. by what we see throughout the manga, we can assume that "desire" in the story means a living creature's natural drive to have something, physical or not: satiation, comfort, happiness, beauty, safety etc. "desire" can be conscious or unconscious, losing desire means a person also loses basic motivation to do anything for gaining that "something".

desire, as it framed in the manga, is not exactly the same thing as motivation though, since motivation can be rebuilt consciously through the power of will: mithrun is an extremely good example of that. at this point it starts getting very blurry though, because it's very likely that we shouldn't draw a clear line between "desire" and "will" and it feels like manga supports that message.

so, mithrun at once lost pretty much all drive to have anything, except for the state of being fully consumed (unconscious desire, he does not realize it). he even lost the desire to meet his basic needs: it seems like they count as a drive to survive (to gain satiation, rest etc). he didn't lose his feelings or thoughts or most of his memories. here the second interesting thing: mithrun does act on his feelings a lot even though he shouldn't have any motivation to do so:

standing up, getting into kabru's face because he doesn't trust him.

smugly smiling as he alone is skillfully fighting against a group of enemies.

hiding his face and exposed neck behind his hands, when he tells his backstory.

getting openly frustrated at kabru at least three times (including pouting and even slapping his face).

crying and laughing in chapter 94.

so here we can see that involuntary emotional reactions aren't included in "missing drive to have something" bundle. possibly because emotional reactions don't have a clear motivational component to them, it's not something we "desire" to do. just like pain or goosebumps are not connected to desire to have something, it's just a reaction our bodies have to certain conditions like injury or cold - and it's something that mithrun can feel and describe without help, even if he can't always find the reason for those reactions.

experiencing emotions sometimes leads to physical manifestation of them: changing your face expression, crying, yelling, shaking, laughing etc. so, in relation to "desire", him crying is pretty much the same thing as him shivering from cold. he doesn't experience desire to rest, but he looks exhausted and his body immediately falls asleep when he feels comfortable. so yes, it looks like reflexes of the body itself are important components to his condition.

so, the thing is that in some situations self-harm can be an involuntary reaction to the stress. there are plenty of situations where self-harm is a fully conscious action and in that case you can see it as a drive to find comfort or relief. in mithrun's case it seems like it's the same thing as him crying or shivering: just something that his body does in reaction to the very stressful, upsetting thoughts. it seems like a good portion of his initial recovery mithrun was experiencing symptoms of ptsd and, like you said, was obviously in a very bad mental state in general. it's possible that all dungeon lords get to that point, we also saw thistle get anxious and self-harm in a very absent-minded way. to me it doesn't seem like mithrun's restless self-harming had any goal or motivation to it, it's closer to a bad compulsive behavior. it actually gives us some interesting thought experiment: imagine losing all of your desires, but your ocd is still there (fuck you, demon).

but it still seems like you need some minimal motivation to move in the first place. we see that thistle doesn't move at all after losing all of his desires, despite being very distressed. but he does speak after some time, and to me it seems like a very strong emotional reaction can override the lack of desire to act. honestly, the fact that he forces himself to speak despite having a worse condition than mithrun, tells me that in-universe feelings/emotions are what ultimately leads everyone to recovery.

anyway, when it comes to another interpretation (manifesting his only desire), it's really hard to say. to me it feels too disconnected from what he wanted, because it was a very specific thing that was only connected to pain and death in an ambiguous way. i mean, pain and death are components of the experience he wanted, but not the main or even necessary ones. i feel like the closer thing would be if his actions included attempts at throwing himself into the sea or fire, for example, since it's a lot closer to the state of being consumed by something (we actually know that he wasn't allowed being close to the fire, so there's that). and of course, the fact that he apparently stopped self-harming after a while, though it's possible that it was because his focus shifted to getting what he wanted directly from the demon.

i still think it's a good interpretation though, it makes the whole thing even more tragic. what i don't like about that idea is that it defines "desire" as some immutable thing and the only source of anything person can do. we know it's not true at all, like i said, there's some good evidence in the story that desire is the secondary to the feelings, body functions and the power of will.

[nebbydotexe]

Heard you’re taking requests and I really like your style! here’s a bunch of ideas (Feel free to take or leave what you like): 

any of the nicktoons for scale with Spongebob who is as smol as a dish sponge because that’s semi-canonical to the show even if he’s more proportional to his friends in the games. 

Jimmy x Timmy

Tootie and Vicky being actually sisterly. Maybe them playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) or arguing in a way that bother both of them equally or something else

AJ and Mr. Crocker (cus it’s interesting/weird that a teacher that loves to give out Fs still has a student that gets all As. I like to think that they might have a bit of a mentor/apprentice dynamic or at least they bonded over their shared interest in engineering)

Whin Harper (with any headcanons you have for them)

Hazel with a rock she modeled after Antony

Where you think Trixie is in ANW

Jas from ANW and Jazz from DP

Danny splayed against a wall hiding from a villain

Spongebob being a dad to the rest of Nicktoons team

Cookie and Blonda

Trixie in the boy disguise (perhaps with Timmy going to Comix as himself)

Timmy hugging his little brother(Peri)

Timmy looking at his children and resolving to protect them no matter what

Where you think Tootie was during A Wishful Life (she didn’t show up to my knowledge)

sleepy Jimmy (optional to add/out swap for your fave Nicktoons)

Sheen and Libby and/or Cosmo and Wanda 

The makeup meme but it’s AJ tricking out Chester’s braces

Hazel having a panic attack

Let yourself be inspired by a poem or song

Trans Danny

Asexual Spongebob giving Timmy a thumbs up or pin for admitting he’s ace too (this is a personal headcanon, but it’d be nice to see)

Vicky (and your thoughts on what she’d look like “redeemed” and if that’d interested you)

ok i did a few of these BUT i will be returning to them once i get the motivation to!! thank you so much for so many suggestions!

if youre interested in requesting me to draw something check out this post first!

sponge-sized spongebob

i feel like they probably had something go wrong with jimmys shrink ray, maybe timmy accidentally shrunk spongebob but didnt wanna get in trouble or something so he left him tiny LMAO

2. jimmy x timmy

couldnt think of anything for 3 and 4 right now so i skipped ahead to

5. winn harper

ok my headcanons for them... i think they would definitely love fnaf (based off of the patty possum episode) and probably roxy would be their favorite!! they probably think all the game theory fnaf videos are true and are the factual fnaf lore. probably also only watches markiplier's fnaf vids. besides that i think theyd love sour candy (specifically sour gummy worms)

thats all for now but i will come back to these i swear (unless i forget which is highly likely BUT--)

[papiliovolens]

Spoilers for up to Ch. 20

This drabble was written as an exploration for Nightmare's motives for Ch. 25, so it will have some hints as to how he will act.

it also hints at more multiversal mechanics going on in the background of everything

This is a glimpse at his interpretation and first impressions of Classic, courtesy of an evil overlord who thinks he knows everything :)

this also became a lot longer than i was expecting, so enjoy 1000 words of nightmare being nightmare

The multiverse was nothing if not predictable.

Regardless of its infinite multitudes, it followed specific patterns. Universes fed off nearby ones to fuel their creativity, forming clusters whose links became jumbled in a heated mess of wired connections. The universes' influences on each other were palpable.

Ultimately, universes could dissolve into basic templates through which each spread its roots into the larger multiverse to cement a place for itself. Thus, despite the multiverse's infinitude, it lacked any carbon copies.

It seemed everyone had a different idea as to why.

So, Nightmare relied on the patterns in each universe- how, regardless of their separation from other universes or how out-of-place they seemed, they acted in predictable manners. It made most missions comically easy once Nightmare conducted a little research. The current state of affairs between monsterkind and humanity, the existence and status of the Underground, and the presence of resets told him all he needed to know.

Even Dream's responses had become expected, although that was more due to his inherent benevolence than anything else.

So, yes- the multiverse was predictable to a reliable degree.

- Until a week ago.

Nightmare planned his missions meticulously. They did not fail. Perhaps delayed, and he occasionally needed to iron out minor kinks, but outright failure was never a factor.

The fact that Dream happened to be in the universe Nightmare chose that day was unfortunate, but it was an easy fix. He sent his men to the Capital with a single order, causing enough panic to draw Dream's attention away, and his plan was back on track.

It worked flawlessly for all of about ten minutes.

Nightmare's goal had been simple. Investigate one of the negativity spikes that plagued the multiverse as of late- the same that had Dream floundering like a fish out of water. For all his supposed wisdom, Dream had failed to realize that the emotional spikes were not the result of any 'affliction' or 'sickness' as he seemed to believe.

So when the spike Nightmare was tracking vanished completely, he had nearly gone into a frenzy, and Dream, unfortunately, sensed his sudden anger. His brother came like a moth to a flame, and Nightmare was happy to turn his frustration to his pathetic brother.

The battle had been going as he expected. The arrival of a Sans was slightly unexpected but hadn't even made a blip on his radar. He begrudingly gave the monster a bit of respect at how they managed to get Dream away from his for a few seconds, but it was child's play to find them and send the Sans off to the pits of whatever hell awaited him.

Oh, the way Dream's face had fallen felt heavenly. His face crumpled like Nightmare had not witnessed in decades, and- yes, he wanted to take a picture to make the moment last forever. The way Dream shook, his frown, the tears brimming at the corners of his sockets, the way his face twisted with the hopelessness Nightmare had always dreamed of-

And then the Sans, whose soul Nightmare had just shattered, threw a bone at his skull.

Nightmare was not ignorant of resets, but the situation screamed foul play. It had been nowhere near enough time for a reset or load to occur, especially since the Sans was from a different universe entirely.

Nightmare could not deny his interest as the Sans reentered the battle and somehow dodged him at every turn. Yes, skeletons tended to have a high tenacity for dodging, but few could bear to stand so close to his aura without collapsing.

Nightmare's memories toward the end of the battle were fuzzy. He remembered his brother finally releasing his fragile hold on his aura, enveloping the forest in its sickly sweet tones. Nightmare responded in kind- flooding the air with negativity to choke Dream out.

Then the Sans, somehow still standing despite the clash in auras, dared to grab him, and then-

Nothing.

Nightmare had not slept in a millennia.

He would have thought the same nightmares he inflicted on others on an hourly basis would fill his dreams, but his sleep was oddly peaceful. No demons nor haunting visages visited him, and he idled in the darkness of his mind for what felt like days.

The multiverse was meant to be predictable. It moved in expected and flawed ways, but ways that could be measured and recorded for future reference.

This Sans was an oddity—an anomaly. A strange mystery in a multiverse Nightmare had already scavenged for everything of interest to him.

There was no record of this Sans, Classic, anywhere until a month prior. It seemed he had fallen into the multiverse out of, quite literally, nowhere. While a universe suddenly gaining access to the rest of the multiverse was expected, what was not was the extent Classic had spread his influence in such a short time.

With Ccino's report, Nightmare wasted little time reaching out to the destroyer and protector. Error had appeared particularly peeved when Nightmare reached out to him, dismissing him until Nightmare uttered Classic's name. The destroyer had gone quite still, seeming to hover threateningly near a crash at the name alone, and a wave of nostalgia flowed over him.

It was a plethora of information Nightmare had not been expecting, and he happily bid Error farewell when he recovered enough to threaten to decapitate him.

Ink, on the other hand, was a dead-end. Getting him to talk was easy enough, but he hardly reacted to Nightmare's probing about Classic, stuck with that annoying blank look on his face. Ink only muttered something about a metal chair, blinked at him, and then greeted him with a child's enthusiasm.

And, of course, there was his brother. From his and Classic's interactions on that day alone, it was not difficult for Nightmare to glean the burgeoning friendship between the two, and the expression that crossed Dream's face at Classic's fake death began to make more sense.

It seemed Classic had undergone a rather unconventional introduction into the multiverse. The more Nightmare heard, the higher Classic raised on his list of utter buffoons.

It was strange. Unexpected. Exciting.

Nightmare had not faced a new mystery in centuries. His studies were his first venture into the multiverse outside of spreading negativity, and it had successfully occupied him for most of his existence. But then things got predictable. Nightmare found that, with enough time, any question at all got boring quickly.

Classic presented a new project with novel results.

And Nightmare was very, very curious.

[randomfoggytiger]

With the help of your analysis, I started wondering if CSM and the syndicate chose Scully to be a "mole" in hopes of one day turning her into one of them as they did with Krycek.

Perhaps, because of their knowledge of Mulder's penchant for porn, they thought that she could be a distraction and a wrench in his plans. Once they could turn or initiate her, afterall she was young and relatively inexperience and possibly easily influenced (at least in their eyes), she could help manipulate Mulder ala Diana. They didn't expect Scully to be as strong-willed and connect to Mulder as she did.

I wonder what the plan was with Mulder and Scully had Gillian not gotten pregnant. I think I read that one of the writers or directors wanted to create some angst between them by having them turn against one another at some point. I could be wrong.

Another issue that my brain was trying to reconcile is who is the "boss"? Is Mulder technically Scully's "boss" or manager and is that why he seems to order her around. OR, is Scully technically the boss since she begins by monitoring him and reporting back about his doings to CSM/Belvins? I know they are supposed to be "partners" and on equal ground, but are they. Honestly, no matter what, Scully is in control because she has Mulder wrapped around her tiny little fingers.

Okay, let's answer this in chunks! >:DDD

Neither Mulder nor Scully is the boss. They both report to Skinner, and he holds them equally accountable for mistakes made on the files. If Mulder had been "the department head" in anything other than name/title only, then he would have had a lot more one-sided punishment from Skinner for the basement's escapades: hierarchy and rank bring require more responsibility. Which is what Mulder wanted to avoid (amongst other things-- like spies. Speaking of which:)

I think the Syndicate had a different goal than CSM for assigning Scully.

Blevins thought they could reign Mulder in; and his groupies constantly raged at CSM's or Deep Throat's interference whenever Mulder was "saved" or bailed out from various scrapes. They wanted Scully to debunk his work: Blevins admitted as much in Pilot. If they wanted to sexually distract Mulder from the files, they wouldn't have thought to recruit-- or let CSM recruit-- Diana Fowley out.

CSM kept trying to thwart or kill Mulder in Season 1-3; but canon rewrote that motivation in Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man to become one of deep curiosity and interest. In Season 4, we learned he sent Scully down because she would complement Mulder's work and hopefully lead that doe-y eyed younger man closer to the Truth-- specifically, to what CSM believed was the Truth: his beliefs and goals, his Syndicate. In Season 6, he lamented that Jeffrey was a lame buzzkill and not comparable at all to "Bill Mulder's son." It's not until Amor Fati-- David Duchovny's episode, really-- that we were given a more cogent reason for CSM's actions: he is more than willing to sacrifice Mulder for his own selfish gain. "Every man just wants to live a normal life" (loosely quoted) was what CSM believes, for himself and for Mulder; and we saw him constantly get mixed up with women left and right-- Tena Mulder, Cassandra Spender, Diana Fowley, nearly Scully-- trying to find a snippet of that normal life (the opposite of Mulder and Tena Mulder and Bill Mulder's strategy.) It's also in Amor Fati that CSM influences Mulder to wonder if Carl is his father-- an idea canon left mostly on the back burner the entire show. Here, we realize he wanted to draw Mulder to "the Truth" not for Mulder's benefit but for his own: either to join his side, or to leech off his brain (metaphorically and literally) like a parasite.

Mulder's pornography/phone sex is very different than an actualized sexual relationship with a woman; and the Syndicate, I believe, factored in that difference. As previously mentioned, the Consortium would have been aware that Mulder recruited his own girlfriend onto the files when he discovered them. Yet, they chose to-- or allowed CSM to, which I think is the case-- pull Diana away with an elevated position in Europe. Blevins and the group explicitly sent Scully in to debunk and humiliate Mulder's work. They could have chosen anyone else, including a planted spy; but they didn't feel the need because they thought it would be a one-and-done case-- that Scully would wrap her partner up tight and deliver him for slaughter. Further, I think they selected Scully because she was an excellent agent who, they assumed, wouldn't respect Mulder or his theories... and she inadvertently reinforced that impression by calling him "Spooky Mulder" in Blevins's office (after that exchange is when she was told about the job.)

Those are my thoughts, anyway.

[hall0wedwyrm]

Welcome back to Wyrm thinks of something stupid and shares it with the internet

I don't have... much for this but....

LISTEN I DID THIS BEFORE STEVE OR SANS WAS ANNOUNCED FOR SMASH I WAS THE ORIGINAL anyway

The AU is Post-Pacifist, and Steve falls into the Underground where Sans goes to find him. They meet and its a bit awkward at first but then they get along and its cool.

I've always seen this as the pair to Exebrine, and thats why their sons are in love- i mean because I thought of this at kind of the same time as Exebrine.

Some other notes about them:

Steve is the grumpy old man to Sans's cool uncle

Sans tells Steve about all the Timelines and Resets and he expresses his fear about everything just going back to how it was before in the underground. He didn't mention Frisk though.

They're more in a QPR than an actual romantic relationship. also Sans is ace and Steve is bi smile.

I think i deleted all the notes i made about this so i dont know what else to add-

I joked about if they get married (they dont), they would swap names... so Steve Undertale and Minecraft Sans. its so cursed and i love it.

Okay thats all if you wanna ask about them I'll answer and maybe i'll recreate the AU or something

okay bye

[hiekka]

fuck everything else i just drew him with semi-consistent features also this is the immediate aftermath of the last sketch i posted

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

[greywoe]

"The she-wolf laid into the squires with a tourney sword, scattering them all. The crannogman was bruised and bloodied, so she took him back to her lair to clean his cuts and bind them up with linen."

[liquid-sunshines]

i underestimated how many ppl liked sqq with a pipe lmaooo IM GLAD IM NOT ALONE

anyway. i drew this while listening to dangerous woman so

[somegrumpynerd]

What ARE they doing??

[marblerose-rue]

im soo back and forth on my ponysona's design but i really like this one <3

[stargloom]

im everything you hate

blood ver