#i have no impulse control when i make things so this is a very early jaehyun bday post <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[yunogf]

Valentine's Day circa 1997

[quietwingsinthesky]

the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.

(gestures vaguely) twissy.

[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.

like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.

And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).

And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.

And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.

And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.

Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.

I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.

anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.

[laddelulu30]

Grey Shirt Ovulation

tags: Breeding kink, multiple orgasms, mirror sex,

Pairings: POC Non-MC/Reader x Caleb

A/N: So.. This is dedicated to a fellow Tumblr whose prompt I found and immediately jumped at the idea. I know I have other WIPs that I’m already working on. But I honestly couldn’t resist. This is for you @minaaa444. Thank you for the stimulation…. I mean motivation. You came up with the idea and my debauched mind did the rest. I hope I did you proud. Likes, reposts, and comments are very appreciated. Because I have a praise kink. So, if you liked it, tell me I did a good job, that I was a good girl. And even if you didn’t like it, tell me anyway. It helps me learn what to do and what not to do.

also tagging: @ainsley-official @marvichi @fuckin0-0anime @harrys-sunflower-bakery

@unintentionalseductress @jinwoosbabyboo @aeyumicore @lyn31 @zaynes-wifey @someprettyname @uyai1101-lads

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You had just sent in a request to have the next four days off. Which had taken an additional three days before Team Leader Jenna could approve it.

“Congrats Hunter, your four day leave has been approved. Should I be concerned why my most dedicated and talented Deepspace Hunter has requested time off?” she asks.

“Nothing serious, I promise,” you laugh, giving her an easy smile, “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll return to full duty as soon as my requested days up.”

“Alright,” she says, but you can tell by her expression that she doesn’t quite believe you, but she doesn’t press.

You take your things from your work locker then make your way home.

Standing in your living room, feeling the stillness in the air,

you start to feel restless.

Without a thought… or a plan for that matter. You take a trip to Skyhaven.

Almost as if you had been called there, you go to Caleb’s place. You have a key, and you know the code, so you don’t think to call or text him to let him know that you’re

So… you just walk in.

Not that Caleb would’ve minded. He likes having you in his space. But with your conflicting schedules, seeing each other became more of a pipe dream than a possible reality.

Until at this moment.

Closing the door and locking it behind you, you take a few steps inside then stop.

Looking around, you felt the same burning need to do…. something. You weren’t sure what, but you’d figure it out.

Touching everything fleetingly, like a gentle caress. It almost seemed like you were visiting him for the very first time, and you were curious about everything in sight.

But it wasn’t your first time here. And it was still early, nearly midday.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You had never been home around this time, not working or the very least on a mission.

So.. this was all new territory for you.

After a few more minutes of aimless idling, touching random

What to do? you thought to yourself.

things, you decide to cook something for yourself.

You make yourself a small pot of braised pork belly over rice. Which turns out to feed at least three more people.

You snort, mocking yourself for poor size control but then praise your cooking.

You’ve gotten better. Cooking with Caleb has been upping your cooking skills.

After polishing off your bowl, you clean up what you used to cook, then set the pot to really low heat and put the lid on it. You wash dishes then dry them.

Then you decide to soak in the bath… until you remember.

You didn’t bring anything with you.

But you’re already here. And there was no way you were gonna head home when there was a sliver of a chance that Caleb already has what you needed in his place.

And since Caleb kept his place so immaculate. Orderly. OCD type orderly. You were sure he had something you could use… and wear.

You really did act like an impulsive teenager coming all the way to Skyhaven without some semblance of a plan.

Taking a chance, you checkout his bathroom anyway. And you’re surprised when you find your favorite oils, bathing milk, body wash, shampoo & conditioner, and body lotion tucked underneath his cabinet in the bathroom.

You want to question it, but at this moment, you’re thankful more than anything.

He even had your strawberry cheesecake body scrub that you liked.

A man that listened and remembered. Was such a turn on. But you push the thought away, pouring the vanilla bathing milk in the hot water as it filled the tub.

When you got it where you wanted it, you turned the water off and got naked, sinking into the water. An appreciative moan echoes off the walls of the bathroom.

The water felt amazing.

You soak in the water for an hour before bathing and getting out. You clean the tub then wrap a towel around your thick, curvy figure, hair pulled up from a scrunchie that had been in Caleb’s cabinet.

A scrunchie you hadn’t realized you’d left, but he had held on to.

You go into his bedroom, curiously rifling through his drawers with one hand. And you discover that in one of the drawers… is a new pack of underwear. Lace. Your size.

You open them but they smell like fabric softener.

“He must’ve washed them and then returned them to their original package…” you muse aloud, eyes drawn to a pair of red lace boy shorts.

So… You put them on then allow the towel to drop, looking for one of his shirts you could wear. Your eyes stop on a grey shirt with the logo of the flying academy Caleb had gone to before going to work with the DAA.

You put the shirt up to your nose, inhaling it. The shirt is clean, but smells like him. Like cinnamon and apples. Crisp. And mouthwatering.

The scrunchie out of your hair. Your dark red hair falls down your back in a cascade of damp waves, caressing your lower back.

Mine. Your mind claims and so you put it on, taking

You look in the mirror, trying to admire your reflection. Your eyes take in your appearance. Thick plushy thighs. Smooth chocolate skin. Petite frame. Hazel green eyes.

To Caleb, you looked like a Deity fallen to Philos. A temptation he wouldn’t resist.

But to you..

You move away from the mirror, picking up after yourself so that you don’t make a mess or leave one behind.

Besides, you want to surprise him. If that’s possible.

You leave the room, going into his other bedroom, curious to see what’s in there.

It’s the guest room you had used once before but now, during your absence… was unrecognizable. He had remodeled it to fit your tastes.. Should you have wished to rest in a separate room.

“He’s so unbelievably sweet, it would give someone a tooth ache, or a cavity,” you laugh to yourself.

You have another thought. One darker.. more sinful.

“I bet he looks sexy in that uniform,” you murmur to yourself, fingers inching to touch. Him. Yourself. Anything to make the fire go away.

You look around, checking the clock on the wall for the time.

2:38 p.m.

It’s still early enough. Maybe you could… and maybe he’d be working and you didn’t have to risk him catching you rubbing one out in his shirt… and the underwear he bought for you.

You had to admit that the mere thought was sounding more enticing by the second.

Without hesitating for another second, you close the door to the guest room, locking it behind you.

You lay on the bed, observing that it also smelled like Caleb.

Had he slept here as well when he had his own bedroom? you wonder, the thought a whisper in the back of your mind.

Your mind hadn’t lingered on the thought for long.Your body had more… pressing urges.

You bring the hem of his shirt to your face and held the material between your teeth. Inhaling his scent, your body comes alive once more.

Urging. Craving. Hungry.

Tentively, you roll your nipples between your fingers with one hand and your needy, swollen clit is rubbed with the other.

You keep your moans and whimpers as quiet as you can, but your pussy has other ideas. So engrossed with satisfying your growing and insistent lust, that you don’t notice the front door unlock.

You also don’t notice the front door open and closing.

Caleb gets home early, feeling frustrated, an itch he couldn’t ignore. He had been feeling irritable all day, and he figured going home to shower and shamelessly stroke his aching cock to your name would help ease his mood.

Only… when he got home, he tossed his uniform jacket and hat on the arm of the couch then stilled.

Someone was in his home. He checked his bedroom and noticed that the thing he’d left for you, bought for you had been moved. Used.

Snatching off his shirt and kicking off his boots so that only his pants remained. He hastily pulled open the belt and opened the zipper of his pants.

He calls your name.

When there’s no response, he decides to hunt for you. His hunger for you growing with every step.

He yearned to taste you, to have his face nestled between your velvety thighs like soft, fleshy pillows.

He called your name again, and again there was no answer.

Had she come to take a shower then left again? he wondered for only a second. Then saw your pile of clothes that you had worn there in the hamper. So, she was either naked somewhere in the loft or she had worn my clothes to go out.

Either possibility made him impossibly harder. The thought of you wearing his clothes, his scent on your skin set off a primal hunger he had been trying to keep buried. His throat went dry and his thoughts grew muddy.

It became a need to find you.

His steps became more desperate as he nearly passed the guest room. Immediately noticing the irregularity of the door being closed.

He went to twist the knob. Locked. And his mind went absolutely feral but his demeanor didn’t change.

“Princess?” he said, and there was a sound.

He didn’t know what the sound came from, but now he knew for sure you were in the room. Could smell strawberries through the door.

Then he heard it. The sweetest, neediest moan he’d ever heard you make.

What were you doing? His mind pressed with the desperate need to get to you. To see why you would be making that sound, and why it wasn’t because of him.

“Princess, what are you doing in there?” he asked, his voice breathless from restraint, using his Evol to unlock the door.

He was, however, not prepared for the sight that lay before him. His knees nearly gave out.

You. In his shirt. Pleasuring yourself. Two fingers, knuckles deep in your pussy. Eyes closed, consumed by your own need and pleasure, unaware of anything happening around you.

The sounds. Gods. The sounds your pussy was making. It made him hungry. Hungrier than he had grown trying to take things slow with you.

But it seemed… slow hadn’t been doing either of you any favors.

Slowly, so that he doesn’t startle you, he padded barefoot to the bed. Ever so softly did he touch your thigh.

His voice was thick with need. Barely restrained self control. “Princess, is that… my grey shirt?”

Your thigh muscles tensed at the light touch, then relaxed. Your eyes snapping open. Pupils blown and cloudy with lust. And when he asked the question, you answer with a whining, “Yes.”

He almost moaned like a fucking hormonal teenager but managed not to make a sound.

That tone. That whine nearly caused his self control to splinter into nothing. He leaned between your thighs, gently running his nose along the inner part of it. Inhaling the scent of you. Strawberries

His voice was rough, soft and raspy, almost like a growl, “Do you… need help, little bird?”

“Yes,” came your reply, still as needy as before, the hand on your nipple fell away, reaching for him.

And that was all the permission he needed. With his stomach pressed into the bed, he moved his face closer to the heaven between your thighs.

You were so wet. And you smelled so good. It made him dizzy. But he moved slowly.

He wrapped his fingers around your generous hips, thumbs rubbing into your skin before he pressed into it, pulling you closer to him, slowly pulling your fingers away.

Your calves settled on his shoulders and he swallowed, barely able to control himself. But he needed to. Didn’t want to scare you. Didn’t want you to recede back into your reserved shell.

Not when this is the result of what happens when you let your desires take hold of you.

“How long.. had you been waiting for me, princess?” he rasps, gentle. Encouraging.

“I.. got here midday..” you admit, melting under the darkening galaxy of his purple and dusty pink gaze.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, peppering the inside of your thigh with gentle kisses.

“I.. wanted to.. surprise you..” a raspy pant.

“For this?” he smirked, chuckling. It was to cover up the pathetic moan that almost escaped his lips.

“N-no. But then.. I smelled your shirt.. and I don’t know what came over me,” you admit, “But my fingers aren’t enough anymore.”

Caleb freezes. Doesn’t breathe.

“Please… I need you,” you whimper.

And the control he had held back snapped like a rubber band. It called forth the hunger that had burned within him that had grown progressively more intense.

But in your lustful state, you didn’t see it. The way the look in his eyes changed, the way his muscles tensed and moved beneath the skin on his back.

He rubbed his nose against your clit like he was trying to coat his face with your slick, you squeak from the sensation. And with a rumble in his chest, he takes a long and slow swipe of his tongue to your dripping cunt.

He moaned… fucking whimpered at the taste of you.

Then… he’s devouring you like you were a gift he’d received in the desert. An Oasis to his dry tongue and parched throat.

Fingers pressing deeper into your skin, pressing into the underside of your thighs. He pulls you tighter against his face.

Oxygen the least important thing to him at the moment.

He worshipped your pussy like it was a drugging need. Shameless. Loud. He licked and sucked, moaning against your wet folds.

And you whined, mewling at the attention his ravenous mouth slaked on you. He changed his speed, his angle on you, desperate to pull more of those cute sounds from you.

Deliberate now, he made you climax five times on his tongue before pulling away. Only for a few seconds.

Not bothering to push his pants all the way down, he simply pulls his throbbing cock from his pants.

Enthralled by your trembling body, he returned between your thighs. His fingers hooked under your knees, pushing them back toward you.

He places his hard length over your folds, moving slowly. He moaned as your weeping cunt wets the underside of his cock.

You press your fingers into his lower torso, whimpering.

Overstimulated. But still oh so wet and needy. Trembling.

He groans, gently grasping those fingers and bringing them up to his lips, placing gentle fervent kisses on your fingertips.

“Shh… it’s okay, princess, I’ve got you,” he whispers, moving over your glistening lips, wetting his cock further with your slick.

“Caleb,” you pant, voice calling his name, exhausted from the rapid fire, consecutive orgasms he had wrung from you earlier.

But he hadn’t had enough you. Never. He was just getting started.

“Hm? What is it, baby?” he practically croons, almost teasing.

“I can’t…” you start.

But you don’t get the chance to finish. He slowly, oh so slowly, pushes inside you. Eyes fluttering shut as a guttural groan leaves his lips, head falling back.

You groan just as he does, blending into one voice, one sound.

“You… feel so good,” he moans, leaning down to whisper in your ear, arms wrapping around your shoulders.

Your fingers dig into his lower back, legs tightening around his waist.

He lets out a breathless laugh. “You’re squeezing me so tightly like you’re… fuck.. afraid I’ll leave. I’m not.. (shaky gasp) going anywhere, baby.”

“Caleb..” you whine, arching.

"Shh…” his teeth nip your neck, gently sinking into the skin, “I’ve got you.”

His pace is slow, like he’s savoring the feeling of you, pulling one arm away from your neck to slowly trail up and down your thigh. His nail gently raking your skin, a shiver traveling through your body.

He gives your neck a lick and a claiming bite and your legs tighten around him, another orgasm tearing through you viscously. Unforgiving

He hisses, holding back his own, voice breathless, “Fuck, baby…” He doesn’t wait for your orgasm to pass, he continues to slide in and out of your quivering walls. Slowly. Deliberately.

It’s maddening pace but you’re drunk on the pleasure of it. The squelching and the feeling of absolute euphoria consume you, the sounds an echo through the bedroom.

“I… missed you…” you blurt out, a keening whisper.

Caleb stops, pulling back to look at your face. But the pout on your lips begs him not to stop. So he doesn’t.

“Oh?” he questions, breathless, arching a brow, his eyes glued to where your bodies met.

“Y-yes,” you reply with a broken whine, “I had… been trying to keep my distance… so that I didn’t seem …needy or clingy. Monopolizing your time.”

A ghost of a smile on his lips, “Princess, I would’ve loved for you to do that… to want to spend your time with me. Wanting me… I thought… we were taking it slow, because… you needed time to adjust.”

“No… I wanted… wanted,” another moan rips through you,

Cutting through what you were going to say.

“Baby.. you’re so sensitive right now. Is it because we haven’t… or is it… something else?” he groans as if he doesn’t know.

Like he doesn’t track your period or track how many times you’re eating a day. Like he doesn’t check what you eat and monitor how it affects your body.

But you know he does. You’re just not sure if he knows you know. But fine.. you’d play along. It was more fun anyway. Watching his reactions when you said out-of-pocket things and brushing them off as if they were nothing.

But there would be no brushing this off. Not when he was dick deep in your pussy. Evidence of your increased arousal both auditory and visual.

“I… think… I’m ovulating,” you admit, watching his face with droopy eyes.

So many orgasms, your body trembling, but it was evident that you needed more. More… something.

You watch his face shift, feel his body tremble. A hard tremor racing through him.

Ovulating? Yeah, he fucking knew. If the tracking app didn’t tell him, he would’ve known regardless. Could tell by the way you smell that you were ovulating. You had always smelled sweet. But during your cycle where you were ovulating, you smelled like forbidden fruit. Delectable.

You had kept your distance during those months, but he wondered what had changed.

And as much as it killed him, he asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

Faster than you’d registered in your mind, your body moved. Your fingers wrapping tightly around the base of his cock. Stilling him with the rest of his length buried inside you.

“If you pull out, I swear I will drive a knife deep into your abdomen,” you threaten, hardly recognizing your own voice.

He gasps, gaze locked with yours. Not by fear but by intense lust. A violent tremor traveled through him at your threat.

It had aroused him so intensely that he was mere seconds from plunging as deep as he could go and coating your drenched walls with every drop of his load and still going back for a second one.

He grunted with the effort of holding back.

“G-got it. I… (pant) got it, princess. I’m not going to stop… but if you… don’t let go… (whisper) I’m gonna cum,” his voice is strained, raspy. He’s holding out, but not for much long.

That whimper is what seals it. Emboldening you. Like a whisper or gentle stroke of fingers in your thoughts, you want him to. Want him inside, consequences be damned.

And you’re not sure if it’s because of the sound he made or because you had voiced your suspicion, making it real.

Were you ovulating? Or had the lack of sex made you absolutely feral and uninhibited.

Whatever the cause. Whatever the reason, a decision was made. And it wasn’t the one you would’ve normally made.

“You need to cum, hm?” your voice raspy, almost purring as your fingers loosened their grip on Caleb’s cock and slowly traveled to grasp the velvety sac of his balls, rubbing, gently caressing.

“Go on. Cum for me, Colonel,” you whispered, smirking, holding his gaze. Relishing in watching his eyes widen in shock.

Then he grunted, “P-princess.. don’t.. please.”

He trembled again. There was that whimper again.

“My sexy Colonel. Cum for me. Cum inside me. Your princess commands it,” you whisper, a slow drawl, heat thick in your voice and in your darkened eyes.

He wasn’t sure what had changed. What had caused the change. But whatever it was, was his undoing. His body trembled and with the sexiest whimper you’d heard him make, he came. Deep. Muscles tightening.

His hips doing little jerks as he released every drop of his seed into your waiting cunt, coating your molten and shivering walls thickly.

And it felt so good.

But it wasn’t enough.

Before he had a chance to recover, you pulled him to you and rolled you both over. You now straddling his waist, his cock so deliciously deep. A snug fit.

That was more like it.

“B-baby, w-wait..” but you couldn’t. Between his broken whimper, his begging, and the burning need in your veins. You were lost. Consumed.

You rolled your hips once, testing the new angle.

You had never been on top before. It felt good. Made you feel powerful. Desired.

He gasped beneath you, moaning, his fingers digging into your hips. Whether to pull you closer or push you away, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t really care. A need, all consuming and hot welled up inside you and you obeyed it. Mindless.

He groaned hoarsely as you began a slow teasing rhythm of rocking your hips, he was overstimulated. But this was long overdue, and you would apologize later.

Maybe.

“B-baby…” he whimpered again, gasping, groaning, fingers digging as his hips thrust upward into you.

Through the foggy haze, you heard his voice and you slow blink, looking down at him.

“Hm?” you croon.

“I’m… I need…” he was panting, breathless.

You brace your hands on his chest, lifting up slowly and rocking back down just as slow. You don’t slow down. You listen as he moans, gasping, struggling to breathe.

The sight, the sound is beyond delicious.

“Come on, baby, tell me. What do you need,” you smirk, enjoying the reverse of your roles.

You could get used to this. But with your shyness always at the forefront. You doubted there would ever be a chance like this again.

You lean down, your lips trailing slowly along his jaw. His throat. You inhaled the scent of his skin as you went, and your lust flared hotter. Burned brighter.

Your teeth caught the lobe of his ear and nipped it, your lips placing a teasing but gentle kiss just below his ear just before whispering, “Tell momma what you need.”

And suddenly he found his strength, pulling from your for a mere second before you found yourself laying on your side, facing the window.

And a full view mounted mirror.

But you hardly notice. Giggling, “Aww, what’s wrong, baby? Did I say something that got you all wet behind the ears?”

There’s a teasing lilt in your tone. You knew what you were doing. And you enjoyed watching him react.

Just as quickly as he had flipped you to your side, he was behind you, gripping your thigh. He lifted it high, his own thigh bent behind your other one flat on the bed. Tracing. Caging. Preparation for more to come.

“Oh, something is wet alright. I wanted to be gentle, princess. To savor this for us both. But it seems… based on your behavior, you don’t want gentle, do you?” his voice takes a dark edge.

And you were sopping wet from it.

He lifts your leg, suspended in the air, you are defenseless. Unable to do anything. Subjected to whatever course of action he wanted to take.

His own hips roll, his cock snapping into you once more.

Crabbing your chin firmly with his hand, his chest pressed to your back, his fingers skittered along your skin. Wrapped gently and firmly over your throat, a possessive touch. Claiming.

Then his lips were on the back of your neck, teasing. Tasting.

“I got something I think we both will enjoy. Look around the room, princess. Let me know if you find it,” he whispers against your skin. A purr. A promise.

“But…” You start.

“Use your eyes, princess. I know you’ve got good eyes. You may have already seen it. And didn’t realize you did,” he hummed, lips still kissing the back of your neck. His hips still plunging deep and slow into your greedy wetness. The sounds mind-numbing, adding to the pleasure.

It was becoming hard to focus again.

“Come on, my pretty bird. Use those beautiful eyes and tell me what you see,” he rasps, voice breathy in your ear.

So with effort, you open your eyes, trying to look around. You gasp and moan as he continues the slow deliberate pace of his hips. Your cunt still squishy and messy, coated with his cum from earlier. Slick. Slippery. Sopping wet.

You look around the room, trying to find what he’s talking about. Then you find it.

The mirror.

How had he managed to find that size? And how had he been able to mount it on the wall? It was large, angled from a direction where anyone from the bed could see their reflection. And at this angle, you could see everything.

Your core clenched tightly in response.

Caleb hissed at the new sensation. “Damn. You’re still so wet and tight.” Then he smirks, “Looks like you found it. Given how you clamped down on me, I guess you like it, hm?”

You groan, head falling back against again, ready to fall apart again. You whine, feeling the familiar pressure of another orgasm mounting impossibly fast.

“Shh. Don't look away, beautiful. Eyes on your reflection,” he hushes gently, he takes his handholding your thigh moves to your hand, grasping it.Then guides your hand to where his had been.

His now free hand loops to the front, snaking around your waist, trailing down between your thighs. His middle finger rubs lazy circles on your swollen clit, voice still soft and low, “Let go, baby. As many times as you need to. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

“But what about you?” you ask, voice breathless and raspy.

“If you are ovulating as you say, I probably should’ve put on a condom,” he whispers back, lazy circles on your clit, driving you near to madness.

“I don’t care.” you gasp.

“Baby…” he grits out, “You don’t know…”

“I do and I don’t care. Fuck me. Cum inside me. Breed me. I don’t care. I just need you inside me. All of you. Every drop. However you’ll give it to me.” you gasp, desperate, burning.

He groans, whimpering, “Fuck, princess. Okay, if that’s what you want.”

And his pace changes. Hard. Deep. Unrelenting. His new pace sets fire to your body, and before you realize it, you’re at the edge of another orgasm. Then you’re falling.

You cry out your release. Your body stiffening, trembling. Burning. Stars bursting.

But he doesn’t let up, doesn’t slow down. He keeps going, plundering your quivering and spasming cunt like a man on a mission.

“There you go. That’s my pretty girl. Look at you. Falling apart so good for me. This pretty pussy, so needy isn’t she?” he coos, teeth grazing your neck as he keeps plunging repeatedly in and out of your hot, squelching walls.

His praises spark something else, awaken something else. A pressure. A coil you didn’t recognize mounting your orgasm before the previous climax ended, snapping harshly.

His release catches up with him soon after with a whining, chanting, whimper, “Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Baby…fuuuck.”

And suddenly, you’re falling again. This time with a scream. This time with a gush. A flooding wetness coating your thighs and his. Your body trembles harder than it’s ever has. Your pussy clamps down so tightly, Caleb lets out a choked sob.

With a final thrust, he stills, cumming inside your waiting cunt, plugging your cervix, filling your womb to the brim and then some.

His hips do a few little jerks, giving him time to breathe. Then he slowly pulls out before slamming back inside.

“I hope you got some more left in you. Because you’ve started something and you better see it to the end,” he says, pulling out slowly then snapping forward once more.

New pace now, fast and searching, as he peppers kisses on the back of your shoulder.

“Let’s see how far I can stretch this pretty pussy. And if I can put a baby in you. Don’t go to sleep on me, baby. We’re not done yet. I wanna hear you scream as many times as I make you cum.” His voice dark with promise then it dips to a whisper, “Soar for me, my pretty bird. Sing for me.”

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Dividen: @cafekitsune Caleb banner: yours truly.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro observations of players/ heartbreakers - 26

Libra placements: Libras really adore romantic attention (when single & sometimes even in a relationship) they will flirt with people they really have no attraction to for fun or cuz their bored. They have this amazing ability to make others feel really special just for them to be doing that to 5 others or just for it to be completely ingenuine. They can be so charming that you really believe they like you until you realize they don’t. Libras leave a lot of broken hearts behind them. They will say the most heart warming shit that will have you thinking they’re in love with you just to leave you for the cutie next door 😭 especially if you have libra in your sun, moon and rising.

5th house stellium’s: oh lord lol these people can be everywhere in terms of the heart. The 5th house is related to short love affairs. So you can imagine these people go thru a lot of potential partners in their life (unless afflicted or Saturns in the 5th). These people are very flirty they love the feeling of having new crushes and the LOVE the attention they get from their crush too. However, these people normally have a lot of crushes and never usually settles down with one. This can be a big baby maker placement especially if Jupiter and Venus are involved. I’ve seen men with a lot of 5th house placements that have babies with multiple women or have a lot of baby mommas. They tend to do very risky shit for fun just for it to backfire on them. They are part animals at heart and usually that’s where I notice they make most of their mistakes they end up regretting. They usually end up getting caught up in the heat of the moment when it comes to people their attracted to which can lead to a cheating problem.

Sagittarius suns: if you can get a Sagittarius to actually commit to you you won.. no but seriously they are not the best with commitment😭 when they feel a relationship is getting too close I notice they start to get cold feet and become really distant with their partner or do little things to self sabotage the relationship. They are very romantic very fast in the beginning of the relationship. Most Sagittarius’s move REALLY fast and are impulsive when getting in relationships. They usually try to commit too early having the other party believe they are in love with them just for them to back out the minute it gets to stabilized and that isn’t usually long. They can feel like their partners slow them down in some way and end up neglecting the relationship.

Scorpio Venus: now I really don’t believe all these posts saying “this this the most die heart loyal sign” cuz that’s complete bull crap and the people who know know😭 I’m mostly talking about the men in this situation but these men can be the biggest cheaters!! It’s honestly rare to see these people not cheat from what I’ve seen. They are really picky of the women they date and I notice the women they do pick to date they don’t really like them that much?? They go for people they have a very mild attraction to usually and for such intense people it’s something you wouldn’t expect. I believe Scorpio Venus do this as a way of control because when they are truly in love and with the right partner they become fiercely loyal and loving. But I don’t think they seek out those type of relationships because they are often extremely painful for them because of their intense emotions, when they are truly in love they feel like they have no control over themselves when in that state, so I think they find people they don’t love that deeply so they can be in complete control of themselves and their partner. Which is why they can be very possessive and jealous of their partner even while their sleeping around it’s a big control thing. But I believe once they find their soulmate it’s the complete opposite but that’s usually a challenge.

Pisces Venus: these are also extreme charmers like libra. Pisces is exalted here so they have the ability to be some of the most romantic loving partners, they will sweep you off your feet with the words and promises that they give you then outta no where where you think everything’s perfect between the two of you… he ghosts you. Then next thing you know you see him at the bar talking to another girl like nothing. These men tend to never quite know what they want and usually have wandering eyes for other females. The commitment line is usually really blurred for these people which is why they attract a lot of situationships no one knows what it really is.

Aqua Venus: these people play hot & cold soo much it can drive the person they’re talking to a little crazy. When they are unsure of the partner they tend to juggle them around until they decide. One minute they are so flirty and engaging and romantic towards you then the next they’re ignoring your texts, giving you really dry robotic responses. They put their partners thru a whirlwind to get to their heart. This can leave the other party feel like they are being stringed along (most likely they are) like Scorpio Venus they are very picky with their partners and settle for very authentic/unique people. They can like the most oddest people or just people you’d never expect them to date. You never know what’s going to melt these peoples heart. They really need someone who excites them. (Sn: I notice Scorpio and Aqua Venus’s actually make an amazing couple)

Uranus square Venus: one minute they wanna break up & meet other people the next they want you again and the cycle repeats. These are the kings & queens of on and off relationships 😂 they can never seem to make up their mind on if they’re ready to commit, they can be really unpredictable in love which can be pretty exhausting. One minute they’re in love the next they’re bored and cold towards you. U tend to have a lot of relationships come and go but can’t seem to get them stabilized. This can leave your partners feeling really confused & played.

Gemini Venus: they never really seem like they’re interested in anyone they’re dating. They are always trying to seek out attention from other people even when in a relationship. Their crushes are usually very superficial and fleeting. It takes A LOT to keep these people attention, you have to be very mentally stimulating and almost fascinate them to really get them hooked on you. But they are not easily impressed, they are really good at predicting people’s behaviors so it’s hard to find someone that really excites them. They enjoy things they can’t predict or keeps them guessing it lights up their curious minds (go for a Venus in aqua!).

P.S. just because you have any of the placements mentioned that doesn’t make you a player other placements obviously play a role! Just the most common ones I’ve observed 🐮

[stagtorccio]

Lowkey natalie alphabet…????

highkey yes. bon appetit here's my bi weekly freak post

NATALIE SCATORCCIO — NSFW ALPHABET y'all already know the rules... template from here! warnings: mentions of overstim, a bit of angst, mentions of crying during sex, etc...

mdni, 18+

A = AFTERCARE (WHAT THEY’RE LIKE AFTER SEX)

acts like she doesn’t need it, brushes it off with a scoff or a smoke, but if you stay and wrap your arms around her without asking, she gets soft.

needs reassurance in her own quiet way— rubbing her back, playing with her hair while she stares at the ceiling.

does the same for you without being asked. rubs your back and gives you little kisses on the shoulder, then splits a cig with you.

B = BODY PART (THEIR FAVORITE BODY PART OF THEIRS AND ALSO THEIR PARTNER’S)

on herself, her hips. acts indifferent, but you’ll catch her smirking when you grab her there. she also definitely takes pride in her hands. loves painting her nails all pretty right before she fucks you.

on you, your neck. something about pressing her lips under your jawline and feeling you twitch makes her go batshit crazy.

C = CUM (ANYTHING TO DO WITH CUM, BASICALLY)

likes it messy. doesn’t care where it goes. loves when it gets on her hands or chest or stomach. 

she’ll sometimes lazily smear it just to watch you shiver. and she definitely likes making you make a mess.

D = DIRTY SECRET

likes being submissive but in that deeply intimate you-know-me-better-than-anyone way. 

someone she completely trusts taking her apart and putting her back together, all in a safe space, is literally her wet dream.

E = EXPERIENCE (HOW EXPERIENCED ARE THEY? DO THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING?)

moderately experienced. learned early, maybe not all of it in a great environment, which makes her guarded.

when she’s with someone she wants, she’s very in tune with them, good at reading reactions, knowing just how far to push

F = FAVORITE POSITION

loves to ride / sit on your hips. wants control of the situation, wants to see your face, wants to move at her pace. 

but she also secretly loves being folded the fuck in half, wrists pinned, someone else doing the work while she stares up at them with glassy eyes.

G = GOOFY (ARE THEY MORE SERIOUS IN THE MOMENT? ARE THEY HUMOROUS? ETC.)

loves making you laugh during sex. it’s probably hotter than the actual sex to her because it just means you’re both comfortable and safe, and she likes when she doesn’t have to take things so seriously.

says the most out-of-pocket dirty shit at the worst times, except she can barely get it out without laughing her ass off. 

H = HAIR (HOW WELL GROOMED ARE THEY? DOES THE CARPET MATCH THE DRAPES? ETC.)

bush. can't emphasize enough she does not give a damn. trims when she feels like it but doesn't make it a ritual.

I = INTIMACY (HOW ARE THEY DURING THE MOMENT? THE ROMANTIC ASPECT)

at first, it scares the hell out of her. she’s mostly used to transactional or impulsive sex. real intimacy makes her feel kind of exposed. 

once she gets comfortable though, she clings. holds you tighter than she means to and sometimes cries without realizing it.

J = JACK OFF (MASTURBATION HEADCANON)

does it more than she lets on. usually tries to be quick, under the covers, gritting her teeth or biting her lip. 

but sometimes, if she’s thinking of you, she’ll take her time and try to replicate how your hand feels. usually just ends with her frustrated as all hell, though.

K = KINK (ONE OR MORE OF THEIR KINKS)

power play (on both ends) — loves loves loves someone who bites back and matches her energy. if you talk back to her and she gets to put you in your place? literally already creaming. however, likewise, if you put her in her place? same effect.

light bondage — doesn’t like being tied up tied up because it’s a little too restrictive— nor does she like when you’re tied up too tight because one of her favorite parts is making you squirm. but then she loops her belt around your wrists as a little joke and actually ends up finding it way hotter than she should. oops new kink unlocked!

overstimulation — keeps insisting she can take more and will keep insisting until she’s literally sobbing because she wants to go for soooo long… like it feels so good she doesn’t want it to stop. doesn’t even realize it’s a thing until the roles reverse and she fucks you to HELL and back, giving you little sympathy kisses as she completely ruins you

edging — cums super fucking fast bc she’s just so into you, she can’t help it. so when you start making her wait for it she actually goes insane. it’s so hot but also she’s losing her mind. make her ask for it? diabolical. on the opposite end, she loves teasing the fuck out of you but also likes to please, so she usually doesn’t edge you too bad.

L = LOCATION (FAVORITE PLACES TO DO THE DO)

usually doesn’t care much about the where— car, dirty couch, your lap in the woods. but if she’s really into you? somewhere private, soft, a safe little nest where she can just fall apart and no one can see. 

has the ‘your food tastes better than mine’ mentality but about beds. if she can get in your bed you’re never getting her out.

M = MOTIVATION (WHAT TURNS THEM ON, GETS THEM GOING)

any sort of intense emotion gets her in the mood. anger, fear— she needs an outlet for things. sex happens to be good for that.

but in a healthier environment: your smile. your moan. the way you look at her. gets absolutely feral over soft, loving things because she’s not used to that.

N = NO (SOMETHING THEY WOULDN’T DO, TURN OFFS)

anything that feels disconnected. she needs to feel wanted, not used.

humiliation and degradation are also hard nos. she gets in her head if she feels like you don’t respect her, even if it’s all playing a role.

O = ORAL (PREFERENCE IN GIVING OR RECEIVING, SKILL, ETC.)

great at giving. fast learner, lives for reactions. loves holding your thighs open and taking her time. 

receiving, she pretends she’s chill, but when your tongue hits just right, she’s gasping and pulling your hair like crazy.

loves both equally. switch nat for the win!

P = PACE (ARE THEY FAST AND ROUGH? SLOW AND SENSUAL? ETC.)

usually wants it slow and raw, with this sort of aching tenderness.

if she’s particularly frustrated, fast and rough as hell. will definitely feel bad about it later though.

Q = QUICKIE (THEIR OPINIONS ON QUICKIES, HOW OFTEN, ETC.)

loves them. has them all the time. behind closed doors, up against a wall, fingers down your pants while you're on the phone... she's always worked up somehow and quickies scratch the itch.

R = RISK (ARE THEY GAME TO EXPERIMENT? DO THEY TAKE RISKS? ETC.)

willing to try almost anything once. gets a thrill from things that feel slightly dangerous or forbidden.

S = STAMINA (HOW MANY ROUNDS CAN THEY GO FOR? HOW LONG DO THEY LAST?)

wants to go for hours, realistically gets overstimulated after like two rounds. cumming doesn't stop shit for her though she will literally gush her entire heart out and still tell you to keep going.

T = TOYS (DO THEY OWN TOYS? DO THEY USE THEM? ON A PARTNER OR THEMSELVES?)

has a couple— basic ones, probably a vibe and a strap. uses them casually, but if you’re into it, she’s very open.

probably prefers the strap because she likes being close to you (as well as having you dig marks in her back, shhh though)

U = UNFAIR (HOW MUCH THEY LIKE TO TEASE)

unfair. smirks while she kisses your stomach and says, “what? this spot?” before going right back in. 

lives to see you blush, because that means she’s doing something right.

V = VOLUME (HOW LOUD THEY ARE, WHAT SOUNDS THEY MAKE, ETC.)

not super loud. quiet moans, breathy curses, gasping your name, occasionally a broken, “fuck—” if you hit the right spot. 

that said, if she’s comfortable? laughs a lot during sex. because she said something funny, because you said something funny, because you accidentally tickled her, because she’s just happy… literally finds any reason.

W = WILD CARD (A RANDOM HEADCANON FOR THE CHARACTER)

has a praise kink, even if she'd rather choke than tell you that. whisper that she's good, that she's pretty, or that she's yours, and she'll literally explode into a million stars dude...

X = X-RAY (LET’S SEE WHAT’S GOING ON UNDER THOSE CLOTHES)

toned, but not like, gym-sculpted. scarred, soft in some places, hard in others. slight muscle under the softness, smaller chest, old stick-n-poke tattoos scattered in various places. in the summer, she gets freckles like crazy.

Y = YEARNING (HOW HIGH IS THEIR SEX DRIVE?)

high drive, but kinda unpredictable. can go from “not right now” to “get the fuck in my lap” in ten seconds flat. 

sex is a coping mechanism and a form of connection, so if she wants you, you definitely know it.

Z = ZZZ (HOW QUICKLY THEY FALL ASLEEP AFTERWARDS)

sleeps like the actual dead afterward. especially if she’s had a good cry-fuck combo (which happens more than she likes to admit, oops). literally just passes out curled up on you like a cat. 

loves having her ear to your chest so she can count your heartbeats. it helps her fall asleep.

[queenslandsoutherngothic]

please talk about the molested theory, I’m dying to know why you think so, I always felt that there’s something more horrific behind the vagueness

Just to preface I am a psychology student, I work as a mental health support worker and have worked heavily with people from CSA and abusive backgrounds and CSA is in my family so I’m pulling from a few areas when I say some alarm bells go off.

Liam - “I’ve been hurt by men”

Oasis Interviews Archive: Noel & Liam Gallagher - Unknown - 1997 I thought this quote was earlier than it was. In the early days they seemed to be more open.

HOWEVER this is around the time Noel started having psychosis from drug use. One other idea I had was that Noel started having flashbacks, one thing about trauma is that when your brain finally recognises that you are safe it can start releasing blocked memories. This tends to happen around 10-15 years after someone has gotten away from the threat and the brain accepts that.

Noel Gallagher admits he felt lonely during Oasis and experienced psychosis and a debilitating anxiety disorder due to drug addiction. - Carlisle Eden Mind He writes Untitled and If We Shadows, he's sober for the first time since he was like 12, 10-15 years after they left his father. He for sure was remembering some really repressed shit

I found a quote from Liam in an interview with him and Patsy where he mentions having flashbacks in the evenings, more related to the physical abuse.

Hyper sexuality - Liam champaign supernova performance https://youtu.be/PAtU-TSG4qc?si=1L-weZEFXzlpppop

He is so blank faced for a majority of the performance and then randomly starts doing these aggressive sexual gestures. Its spooky

He’s a little dissociated and odd in between the sexual mimicking, he’s like blank in this not kinda relaxed way, he’s angry for sure.

https://youtu.be/3P-GPutiA90?si=mHYtcr-f-gRpjKBB He has a very similar vibe in this interview where he makes an odd joke about being a sex worker as a teen.

Liam - Paula Yates - Liam jumping out of the car to be with her.

Liam has access to a plethora of groupies but something about the Paula Yates story kind of creeps me out. A few people were sexually aggressive with Liam and she was one. It kind of sounds like she overwhelmed him and he almost forced himself to be with her. Then he gets so overwhelmed and out of control he jumps out a car window.

Liam - Robbie Williams

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nhkay8MC6P0 Minute 6:20 in

My little theory about what happened here is that Liam was testing some sexual boundaries. Robbie who has said he believes he is on the spectrum and has some overt sexualityin the media. Bites on it in the above way, this freaks Liam the fuck out who then called Noel (or Noel picked up on something here and took charge) in to get him out of it.

Noel - Alan Mcgee relationship

From Tony McCaroll’s book.

(that last bit is a normal joke to make under the circumstances but you know, why not include it)

Liam’s groping of Noel so aggressively, vs the playful ones

The lyrics to Take Me are fucked in the head.

The lyrics to Untitled could mean anything. BUT it could be his perspective of it all. It's vague and more subtle than hinting than Liam’s style of writing so I could make the argument.

Only for the young is the things we might not know Only for the young is the things we won't remember And long ago I said to myself that I feel inside I know Only for the young is the things I don't remember Sitting here, I'm waiting A cause without a name Sitting here, I'm waiting And I will feel And down I will kneel You were the one I never know Living in sin Is somewhere within You were the one I never know And I remember Life without a name And I remember My life without a name, woo The woo is interesting; he's relieved the song is over, maybe?

Impulsivity

Noel - dogs comment

I can’t find the bloody recording of it but it's out there on Tumblr. Noel and Matt on the podcast were making these jokes about fingering dogs.

This might sound like, and very well be, boy-joke style stuff. HOWEVER the reason it stayed with me is that I supported a woman who was a CSA surviour and one of the things she would often compulsively do is hyper fixate on her pets 'bums and fingering them. So when I heard Noel say this is the cadence and phrasing it reminded me of her.

Performance sexuality:

Both brothers do it but you can see examples from Noel where it feels very much like a put on https://youtu.be/t56eLQ9fQL4

Here for instance, Liam is angry and trying to punish Patsy and Noel almost sounds uncomfortable. He’s saying the right Lad thing to think towards breast, but something is off. He doesn't like it, and you could argue that Noel has little opposite sex attraction because of this but I don’t think so.

Liam’s cheating, in general, was done so brazenly and with little regard for Patsy and Nicole. Coming home in women's sunglasses, for instance, that Patsy would then rip off and break, his disregard for her sounds borderline cruel. In ethical terms, he was cruising for a bruising.

Noel however sounds more subdued and careful about his on-tour affairs, at least till Sara which most likely had an overlap. We know Meg was worried about this because of her ‘bag of tricks’ comment.

"I truly don't think Noel was ever unfaithful to me. No one's ever been unfaithful to me in fact. Not that I've ever known of, anyway. That's because I'm so good in bed. It's possible to be in a long-term relationship and be monogamous if you've got a bag of tricks up your sleeve for the bedroom." ----Meg Matthews in the guardian's column "What I know about men" Sun 12 Feb 2006

Liam also seems to use sex as a weapon against people. Like with Justine-Damon, Kate Moss -Lisa Moorish-Peter Doherty (Noel???) Situation’s.

Speaking of which, this interview with Liam talking about being better looking is weird. He seems anxious (could be because of the interview but I think it's odd his tone and what he says, maybe all to do with Lisa) Liam Gallagher & Alan White Interview - 1995 - Paris, France at around 8:10 in

https://youtu.be/2kmWPPGI70g?si=EozG1tnkfGG-5MxB Noel is the only one of the three, or four, if I include Peggy, who has ever said anything remotely neutral about Tommy. He is the one most conflicted about his feelings for him, as evident in numerous quotes and videos from Noel.

Liam’s tweets are a misnomer, it's all performance now. Not initially but for the first 5 years it was more genuine.

But this one freaked me out. I had like a visceral physical reaction to the first tweet before he must have felt better and turned it into a joke. I don’t know, could be a reach. He may have been joking; he may have been referring to the overall attention from the media that he's been pretty vocal about disliking.

https://www.tumblr.com/oacest/770045711791292417?source=share This could mean anything, I suppose. Liam was often left alone as a small child, and so when that happens, children learn to self-soothe through rocking and other calming motions. So, it could be stimming (we have strong evidence he has ADHD, or maybe is on the autistic spectrum), or it could be self-soothing behaviour, but the motion is odd.

Side note this quote from Paul Gallagher's book

Kinda sounds like the three of them created their own little family/parenting structure. I imagine Noel picked that up from Peggy

[battingmyeyelashes]

‪‪❤︎‬ HELLO TO THE WEIRD BILL DICKEY ENJOYERS WHO LIKE WHEN HE IS MEAN. this ones for you. youre gonna wanna see this post. Maybe. or maybe not. idk. I need to chat about him right now. specifically like, grown adult & epilogue bill. there may be uhmm..mildly suggestive themes in this post Lol okay. buckle up, its a little long. some people might hate what i have to say. oops! ‪‪if you only like nice subby little bill dickey, this may not be the post for u. ❤︎‬

So, you may have seen my previous post complaining abt people turning bill into a whiny baby, hi, its me again.

I want everyone to look at this picture and understand something.

this is an entire grown man. pathetic as he is in his own special way, have you guys ever been around a grown man?? like, okay, i dont know where YOU guys are, but as an about 5'2" 105-ish pound girl, they are scary. and have you ever seen that one trend on tiktok where these girls ask their boyfriends (who are usually like older teenagers or maybe early 20's idk) to not hold back and tackle/wrestle them or grab them or something?? they do not have to be muscular or particularly athletic. the girls always end up saying something like "okay i didnt realize they were that strong. this trend is freaking me out now." i have also done this myself, yes it is real. it is a sobering experience ._.

men and teenage boys are for some reason gifted this weird natural strength just for having XY chromosomes. there have been actual studies done on this where they put unathletic guys up against very athletic women, and the guys are still able to overpower them. i do not know why, thats just the way we are built. please dont present me with any weird outliers, i will throw up, im just generally speaking.

that being said, i need us to get back into bills personality. i know people like leaning into his patheticness and making him subby and whiny, and as much as i find it kinda "funny heehee" to see on occasion, im trying to ground all of this stuff in reality more. how ironic of me. i know. he is actually a sociopath. with severe anger issues. he is very impulsive and mean. as i said in my previous post, i know jerry beat him up. but

1.) bill was not expecting jerry to start attacking him.

2.) jerry is also a grown man, not a woman.

3.) he ended up getting ganged up on by 3 grown men at the end of it all, i think at that point he has a right to be kinda freaked out lol.

i mean like LOOK AT THIS

i. wanna. see. people. making. him. insane. as. a. grown. man.

he would most definitely use his misogynist grown man strength against a woman for his own gain, lol. i do not recall ever seeing bill being a stuttering blushing shy mess around any girls? correct me if im wrong. i mean, he is a human being, he is bound to have shy or flustered moments, but evan himself has said that if he were confronted by a girl who liked him or something along those lines, he would be hostile, right? i think he would redirect his shy embarrassment into saying something mean. i guess kinda tsundere-ish? i dont know. i think if he even liked the girl back, he would occasionally be hurtful to her as a means to keep her at arms length and protect himself from feeling super vulnerable, and he'd likely enjoy holding things over her head as a way to control her and get her to do whatever he wants (like pervy pics he sneaks of her or like...screenshots of sexting thru email or text and threatening to blackmail her with them LOL idk) i think he CAN be nice sometimes, but i think that needs to be emphasized less.

he likes being in a position of power. we can see that in his little dream sequence thingy, and the way that he gets this kind of megalomania when he is put in charge of the shop.

I dont know if bill KNOWS that he is stronger and capable of overpowering a woman, im guessing he probably does know? i mean he seems to view women as "less than" in every other sense, so.

he has just never had the chance to test the theory out, but can you imagine how it would be if he DID??

imagine him finally getting into a relationship with her, and when she tries to leave him, he grabs her. and it clicks for the both of them.

it wasnt that difficult for him to grab her by the arm and pull her back to him. its not that hard for him to back her into a corner as shes shoving against his chest and hes not moving. i mean like, i think all the guys except for jerry put on some of that extra "nerd manchild" weight so that does not help either (omygosh whatever come punch my lights out for saying that i dont care).

imagine the power trip that would start for him LOL. imagine the possibilities...

does ANYONE see my vision at all?

hes such a mean little rat man wbvehshehsh i wish someone would understand this. and for anyone who thinks this is cringe or wants to ask me if this is a joke, no it is not a joke, i am not allergic to taking myself too seriously. i think this stuff is so much fun ‪‪❤︎‬ i just wanna find my likeminded individuals so we can all have fun & talk about this together ‪‪❤︎‬

EDIT:

i was also just reminded of THIS.

we arent going to sit here and forget about him being buried underneath like huge heavy boxes and being able to get all of them off idk, i guess you could say "muHh maybe they werent heavy" idk if youve ever lifted a box that's densely packed full of something but theyre VERY heavy. maybe just take my word for it lol. just pretty please with a cherry on top go read the replies to the post, u will understand lol ‪‪❤︎‬ 🍒

xoxo. bye bye. end post. reply with thoughts. or dont. whatevaa~

[trophyprincess]

Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.

Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.

Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)

One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.

If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.

Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.

Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!

THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)

If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!

When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)

Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.

Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.

[mediumgayitalian]

prev

———

Will is good at making decisions.

It’s one of the only things he’s good at, actually. He can’t fight. He can’t control water or lightning or plants. He’s not as smart as Athena’s kids or as charming as Aphrodite’s. He is clumsy and soft-hearted and stubborn. But he is observant, he always has been, and he prides himself in his ability to think ahead. He keeps his infirmary stocked and his siblings on schedule. He reigns in head counsellor meetings and draws up binders and binders of files and projects — he is organised. He watches, he notices, he reflects, he prepares. He’s as impulsive as the rest of them, sure, but he has enough contingencies in place that he’s solid. A solid head on his shoulders, and he knows it — the head medic must.

So when he watches himself, horrified, diverge from his very detailed twenty-nine step process entitled The di Angelo Dilemma: Approaching Friendship like a Normal Person and ask Nico to come over, he considers the possibility that he has been possessed. Maybe the eidolons that fucked everything up the first time around have been crouching in dark corners, patiently awaiting the perfect time to strike and ruin Will’s life.

“See you then,” says Nico, rushing out the door, and Will smiles at him easily, watching him dash across the common, and then he sets aside the folder he’s updating, walks calmly out of the empty infirmary, nodding to Mr. D. as he passes, turns a corner in the hallway, slips into his favourite supply closet, sticks a chair under the door handle, clears his throat, and screams.

It’s one of those good screams, by design; he takes a good deep breath beforehand and lets the sound billow out of him, lets it scrape the sides of his throat raw and reverberate somewhere in the base of his skull. Were he not home in a camp that regularly makes use of lethal weaponry and deadly rivalry, entire armies would come running to his defense. As it is, he is left to fall to his knees and scream until he is hoarse, or until he hears a faint will you shut the fuck up! echo from around the vegetable gardens.

“Why me,” he croaks, giving in and collapsing to the floor.

It’s a nice floor, really. In between breakdowns he returns and decorates the place, sweeping up the dust and covering floors and surfaces with rugs and throw pillows. A guitar leans in the far corner for when his mother is thousands of miles away and he’s feeling sorry for himself. A photo album lives half-shoved under a shelf for when he is in need of punishing. His sketchbook remains in a constant state of almost-full under the one dusty window. (That one carries slightly less general despair.)

He is, upon reflection, somewhat of a disastrous person.

How fitting.

“Ugh,” he says out loud, to himself, and reaches for his guitar.

He has no intention of playing anything worthwhile. In fact he doesn’t even bother tuning it, not that he can very well anyway, and just strums random chords and riffs and yells over a string of flat discortants, at one point, filling the tiny room with noise ontop of noise ontop of noise until everything is gleefully stifling, like a mass of birds clouding the sun, like the thirteenth year of swarming cicadas, like the twentieth layer of July Texan heat. Until the mess is transferred from inside of his head to outside of it. Until he has committed so many musical sins that his father retreats from the sky a full forty minutes early.

“I feel you are at fault,” says Kayla, when he finally returns to their cabin. “For.” She gestures vaguely at The Outdoors.

“Hnnngh,” responds Will, taking three steps and tipping, gracelessly, onto Austin’s bunk, nearly bouncing right off of it. He catches himself, barely, and presses hard into the pillow, curling when his brother makes space for him, when his sister sighs, deliberately loud, and presses her knee into his thigh as she climbs up, too.

“This is your own fault,” Kayla grumbles. Her bony shoulders settle along the dips of his ribs, next to Austin’s thin ankles. “You could talk about things before they blow up in your face, but nooooooo. You run around doing everything yourself. Moron.”

Will swipes the heel of his hand under his eyes, throat garbling a weird snort-laugh-sniffle. Those bony shoulders tip to the side, slowly, until she curls under his chin, dragging Austin down with her. “You’re so mean to me.”

“Sh-h,” Austin says, patting blindly until his palm finds Will’s face, then patting deliberately. His knees press against Will’s, now, forehead inches away, barely clinging onto the too-narrow mattress. “Quiet town now. Reflect in your foolishness.”

“So mean.”

Years ago, exactly how many Will refuses to count, this exact scenario would be met by lots and lots of teasing, by pinched cheeks and cuffed shoulders and a forehead kissed several times over. There would be at least six instruments played at once, a camera flash the second he walked in the door pouting, and more lights on that would ever be necessary. An oft-repeated and never-resolved debate, probably; you coddle him, Cass; oh, shut up, Michael, he’s little. The scent of woodgrain and antiseptic and vanilla. A thousand other details he never thought to memorize.

Now there is quiet, or at least more of it.

Kayla hums, notes muffled as she gnaws on her lip, and Austin’s socked feet tap against the blankets, mapping out the tune playing out in his far-away eyes. The last final glow of the horizon turns red, then orange, then violet, sinking into dark navy blue, and their aunt blinks her way into focus, stretching widely across the thin wisping clouds. The fairy lights wrapped around the pillars and ceiling beams blink alongside the stars, chatting away to each other, and the breeze from the window is soft and warm and almost as sweet as southern jasmine. There is a pit in the dead centre of Will’s chest, and he is afraid Kayla will fall into it, and then Austin; afraid they will succumb to his gaping maw.

“What if I ruin absolutely everything,” he says. He swallows, and then again, and again, because his throat is dry, escape for the burning trails mapping the his face from corner of his eye to mouth. “What if I — scare. Am. What if I’m the reason, again.”

Diana snorts. You are such a drama queen.

And that’s coming from this theatre, Lee adds, gesturing grandly to the gold pillars of the cabin. You’ll be fine, kid.

A chorus of agreements from the rest of the occupied bunks; Kate’s encouraging grin, Leanna’s fond hair ruffle as she dances past, Amir’s wink.

Will smiles and blinks back and he is gone, and Michael’s scowl disappears, and Kate and Phoebe’s laughter fades from the background. The cabin is quiet, shadowy; Austin and Kayla breathe quietly, swallow silently.

“I don’t know,” Kayla admits. “You — could be. Again.”

Will squeezes his eyes shut. He begs for Lee to go back to his sleep for the night. He inhales around the shake and inhales and inhales and inhales and feels the vacuum dead centre in his body, like from navel to spin, twisting, tubing, sucking; take, take, take, take. Can I, can I, can I. I want. Please. Let me have.

“I’m not sure it’s better not to try, though.” Austin’s hands curl around Will’s palm. “Right? You always say to — try. Do your best.”

A smile curls up the corner of Will’s mouth.

“I do.”

“And you did try.”

“I did.”

“Did it fail?”

Will flicks down to meet Kayla’s eyes, squinting one and tucking his chin.

“I asked to come over.”

“Oh, well — okay, Marilyn Monroe. Like that’s a new thing.”

“For no reason.”

“…Oh.”

“I could go on the sand rant, Kayla. I’m like a sleeper agent. As soon as he says it, I’ll — you know.”

Austin shifts, frowning thoughtfully. “I mean, he kind of already knows you’re weird.”

“Not this weird!”

“I think everyone knows you’re weird, actually,” Kayla adds. She wiggles, squirming and elbowing until she is half-perched on the fleshy part of Will’s waist, ignoring his wheezing. “Being a nerd dork loser is kind of your whole thing.”

“It is not!”

“You have binders dedicated to people, Will.”

“That’s not bad!”

“Specifically on how to best socialize with them, Will.”

“That’s — thoughtful!”

“…Sometimes being related to you is hard.”

“I am! Collecting data! To better my relationships! What is the issue!”

Austin and Kayla exchange a meaningful look — which does not, Will is relatively certain, usually involve putting your entire palm on your brother’s face and shoving it so it cannot be seen. Kayla.

“You’re doomed to fail,” they decide. And then they kick him off the bed, which is rude, but he is weak to their giggling, and it’s bedtime for them, anyways.

As per his carefully outlined routine they are sent to the showers and sinks, back in half an hour, bickering. As per his less carefully outlined but nonetheless regularly present routine they are separated physically from each other and shoved to seperate bunks. As per his most carefully outlined routine, he follows them each, ignoring their complaints, and presses the back of his hand to each forehead, closing his eyes as he lets his life force bleed into theirs, mixing, checking, making sure.

“We’re fine,” Kayla grumbles.

“Shut up and cough,” Will orders.

Austin gives him less trouble. Will makes a show of thanking him for it. Kayla throws her extra pillow. Will takes it, placing it on his own bed. It is silent after he says goodnight, silent as he clicks off the light, gathers his caddy, pads to the door.

“Goodnight,” whispers a voice, half hidden by the creak of the screen door as he opens it.

“Goodnight,” whispers another, half hidden by the cream of the screen door as he closes it.

“Goodnight,” Will repeats, grinning. “Sleep well, kiddos.”

They grumble, and their bedsprings groan as they turn away, mimicking the grate of the rickety porch steps. That, at least, is familiar; that at least matches the echoes that bounce around the walls of the cabin and the inside of his skull.

———

next

[holylulusworld]

Very tight places - Kinktober 3

Summary: You're stuck with a soulless Sam again.

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x fem!Reader

Square 8 filled for @anyfandomgoesbingo: Amnesia

Square 6 filled for @samwinchesterbingo: Dirty Talk

Warnings: soulless!Sam being his asshole self, cheating (kinda), smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of anal sex, creampie, claustrophilia, blasphemie

Rating: Explicit

Kink: Claustrophilia

Words:

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

Catch up here: Cramped (1) & Tight places (2)

Six months later you are still hunting with Dean and Sam. You didn’t want to leave the elder Winchester alone with his soulless brother. 

Who are you trying to kid? The ugly and embarrassing truth is, that you can’t stay away from Sam for too long.

He’s intoxicating. You’re high on him, and the way he fucks you. If you had an ounce of dignity left, you’d tell the bastard to fuck off. But you are too far gone to care.

Most nights, you let him do unspeakable things to you. Dean stumbled in on you and his brother, calling you sick more than once. He wrinkles his nose anytime Sam gropes you in front of his brother.

Sam has no filter. In any way. When it comes to sex, he doesn’t care if you are in the middle of a case, at a hospital, or buying groceries. Sam wants you, and he gets you.

Anytime. Anywhere.

“Sam, what are we doing here, dressed in the cheapest costumes we could find,” you grumble as Sam decides you must play nun and priest to solve your latest case. 

Dean is out and about to find Death. Not to die this time, but to convince Death himself to help him get Sam’s soul back. 

Sam is not amused. He wants to stay like this. New and improved. Deadly, focused, and with a sexual appetite making even Dean blush.

“I look ridiculous. They will not believe I’m a nun.” Glancing around the almost empty church you sigh. At least there are not many people around to witness your poor performance.

“Why?” Sam resists the urge to grope your ass. Seeing you in your nun costume got him rock-hard. If not for the case he wants to solve, he’d have you bent over the altar already. “We look just the same as the priest I knocked out to get his clothes.”

“You did what?” you stop in your tracks to gape at Sam. “Please tell me you didn’t knock a priest out, Samuel Winchester. I don’t want to go to hell only because you have no impulse control.”

Sam smirks darkly. “You are so cute when mad,” he dips his head to whisper, “not so cute while you writhe on my fat cock. You’re a whore, not a saint. I know how you like it. Dirty and rough.”

“Sam, can you for once not think about your dick?” You growl. “We still need to find the monster killing the people at the church. Sadly, the only witness still suffers from amnesia.”

“That’s where you come in,” Sam purrs. “I didn’t want you to wear this iconic tunic only for fun. You are the one taking Sister Margaret’s place. You’ll fit in just fine.”

“I don’t want to play the next victim for the monster. Which by the way, you still didn’t identify, Sam. Maybe you shouldn’t have spent the last night at the bar with that blonde,” you snap at the hunter. You don’t give a shit if your blow your cover. Sam won’t get away with treating you like a random bitch he can fuck and leave afterward.

“Y/N, be honest with me,” he chuckles at your angry expression, “are you jealous because you are in love with me?“

“You wish,” you walk away, too angry to be around Sam today. Are you jealous? Of course, you are. Sam and you spent the last months together. Most of the time in the sheets. But last night, he told you to leave and didn’t return until early in the morning.

“Don’t be like that, baby,” Sam mocks you. “I know you love me. You draw hearts and imagine walking down the aisle while I wait for you to give you the ring.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you turn back around to snap at Sam. “I can’t wait for Dean to get your soul back. The moment you have it back, I’m gone. Don’t believe I stuck around for you and your limp dick. I did it for Dean because he’s a good man. Always was.”

“You want my brother?” His features darken, and you can see the change in Sam’s eyes. You take a step back. You know the look in his eyes. It’s the same one you see when he’s about to attack a monster. “Well, too bad. He can’t have you.”

“He can have me if he wants me.” It’s your turn to pay Sam back for all the times you asked yourself if he’s with some other girl. “Just like you had that pretty little thing last night.”

Sam snorts. “She was boring and wanted to go on a date first.” He casually says. As if this excuses his behavior, and how he treated you last night. “Come. I show you something nice.”

“Sam, I’m not in the mood for one of your games. Let’s just solve this case and we can go our separate ways. I stuck around far longer than I intended to.” You huff as Sam once again, ignores your protests. He grabs you by your arm and drags you toward the confession booth.

“Sam! What are you doing?” 

“Shush now, I saw someone,” he pushes you inside the booth and closes the door behind him. You gulp. You’re stuck in a tight place with Sam again. “Do you have your gun?”

“What kind of question is that Winchester? I’m not an idiot!”

“Good. Stay in here and wait for me,” he turns around to look at you. Something flashes in his eyes before he turns around to leave the booth. Not without telling you to lock it, though…

You’re gnawing at your nails. Sam left you at the confession booth half an hour ago, and now you don’t know if you left the booth to help him or not. 

You press your ear to the door, listening to your breathing. There is not a sound, and you wonder if Sam messed with you and just left the church.

“Open the door,” Sam knocks at the door, “now.”

“Fuck, Winchester,” you curse, but unlock the door to drag Sam inside. He closes it behind him once again and releases an annoyed huff as you check him for injuries. 

“You can't wait to put your hands on me again, huh?” Sam turns around to look you up and down. “You know,” he licks his lips. His large hands shoot toward your face to cradle it for a moment, “I think you should confess your sins to me, my dear.”

“I said I’m not in the mood for one of your games,” you pout and cross your arms over your chest. “Why did you leave me in here, all alone? Did you find the monster?”

“I fucked the nuns and gave them a good spanking,” Sam deadpans. “What do you think I did? I kept you safe. The monster wasn’t here. We will find them, though.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“And you are still my whore. My brother can’t have you,” he moves his hand to your throat. “Say it.”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish I would,” he chuckles as you claw at the hand holding your throat in a tight grip. “OR maybe I should remind you of your worth. Turn around, lift your tunic, sister. I want to see your cunt.”

“No.”

“Do it or I swear I’ll drag you out of here and fuck you on the altar like I wanted to,” he warns. You know Sam is not joking. If you don’t do as he says, he’ll drag you out and have his way with you on the altar.

He drops his hand from your throat, smirking as you slowly turn around. You shove the black tunic up your body to reveal your ass to him. 

“I hate you so much.”

“No panties,” Sam moves his hand between your legs to find you dripping for him. “you’re such a whore for me. I can’t believe I found someone like you.”

You should knee his balls and just leave him there. Instead, you press your hands against the wooden wall and brace yourself for Sam’s massive cock. He’s not a fan of foreplay when he’s like that. 

“My whore.” He runs his large hand over your back, down to your ass. “Look at you, ready to have my cock. I think I’ll go for your ass today.”

You suck in a breath. It’s always a struggle to take him up your ass. Especially when he’s impatient. 

“Here?”

“Aw, my little cockslut loves having me up her ass, huh?” His pants drop to the ground before you can even choke out a moan. Sam is on you in a blink. One hand moves between your legs to slap your pussy. “Answer me!”

“YES!”

“Louder!”

“I love your cock up my ass,” he slaps your pussylips again, and again until your tender flesh throbs and you soak his hand. “I want to feel it all the time.”

“Beg me,” he slings his arm around your throat. “Y/N, I’m not asking,” Sam growls in your ear. “I want to hear you beg.”

“Please give me your cock, Father Winchester,” he bends your body to his will and rams himself inside of your leaking cunt.

“Fuck,” Sam is not gentle. All he gives you is his free hand between your legs to toy with your clit. He snaps his hips into your ass, making you cry out with every deep thrust. “I love it when cry a little.”

“Ass-hole,” you press your hands hard against the wooden wall. “I hate you so much.”

Sam doesn’t care about your words, or that you soak his cock only a few thrusts later. He batters your cunt, hoping to force another orgasm out of you to make you see that only he can fulfill your desires.

“You make the sweetest noises when I fuck you,” he nips at your earlobe, teeth sinking in your flesh to tug at it. You moan and push back onto him. Sam knows exactly which buttons he must push to get what he wants. “I’m going to fill this cunt up again.”

You hiss his name when your body sizes up. You tremble in his arms and close your eyes as your orgasm washes over you. When he fucks you like this, from behind you can pretend it’s the real Sam, not the broken version of the hunter.

“You’re such a good slut for me, Y/N. I’ll never let you go,” his words a more threat than a promise. His hips begin to stutter. “Open that pussy for me, take my cum…”

You don’t know how you made it out of the church without getting caught. Sam’s cum ran down your thighs as he dragged you out of the place you stained with your sins.

Back at the motel, you try to make him talk to you. Sam sits across you, just staring at you.

“Sam, we still need to find the monster.” You sigh as he ignores you. “SAM! The monster.”

“It was a hoax,” he shrugs and drops his eyes to your legs. “I wanted to fuck you at a church in a confession booth.”

“There is no monster?” Your jaw drops. “You drove to the middle of nowhere, and forced me to wear a nun costume only for sex.”

“Roleplay, kitten. It’s essential to keep my dick hard.” He watches you squirm on the bed. “Be good and spread your legs. Let me see your tainted cunt.”

“Sam…can you just not be so crass all the time?” 

“I said,” he gets up from his seat to stand in front of your bed, “spread your legs and show me your well-fucked and cum stained cunt.”

“Fine,” you fall back onto the bed and spread your legs. “Satisfied.”

“Hmm…I don’t know,” he unbuckles his belt with one hand and shoves his pants down his legs. “I think you need more cum in your pussy…”

“Please tell me you got him out,” Dean looks at Death. 

“I got his soul, and we should hurry but,” Death looks Dean straight in the eyes, “I must warn you. This soul got ripped apart, and there is not much left of the brother you knew…

Part 4

[darylbae]

hi new tumblr writer :3

I would give anything for vampire daryl (perhaps gender neutral pronouns)

smut, angst, fluff, idc. just give me vampire daryl (please)

pretty little thing — daryl dixon 🩰

in which vamp!daryl finds you in the woods, but doesn't have it in him to feed on you

note: im new to vamp!daryl so this will be very short, however if you like it i can make more!!

Daryl has had urges. Urges to feed, urges that are biologically something he can't help. He's always had these urges, since before the world fell apart, however it was easier to maintain back then. Now, with resources being limited, it was harder. It was even harder to keep this from the people around him. Nothing tasted like human blood. No deer, squirrel, or rabbit would ever taste as good as a human.

Daryl would wake up early to feed, and go to bed later than the rest of the group. He'd managed to hide it well, nobody had questioned him yet. Even when the people they'd butt heads with would disappear and no longer be an issue. Blood on him, on anyone, wasn't out of the ordinary anymore. It was another early morning, Daryl had his crossbow slung on his arm. He walked with purpose, not having fed on any human in a while was making him ravenous. His boots crunched on the leaves as he left the rest of the group, finally getting into the woods to look for something filling. With his heightened hearing, he couldn't hear much. Couldn't smell anything close by. So it would be a long journey ahead of him.

He'd trekked through almost half the woods now, after picking up a sound a while ago, he believed to be getting closer to it. He growled to himself, just wanting the metallic taste sat on his tongue again. It had been so long. There it was again. That sound. That faint whimper in the distance. He'd picked up speed, trying to be light on his feet, but it was no use. He needed it. Now. There you were, clutching a tree with tears rolling down your face. You were a treat. He'd approached you, and of course you were apprehensive, like all smart girls were. But you were so desperate, that you'd reached out for him. "Please..." You yelped, putting all of your weight onto him, "my leg, it hurts." Daryl held your waist, looking down at the blood sliding down your leg. Like a warm chocolate drizzle on a cake, you looked good enough to feast on. Daryl noticed you had only shorts on, not entirely practical for the world you live in, and a jacket with a utility vest wrapped around you. Boots too, great choice. He could smell you, so sickly sweet. "Aren't you a pretty, little thing?" You looked up at him, brows tilted upwards and pure innocence in your eyes. "What happened?" He asked, pushing you backwards gently to lean on the tree behind you. He'd brushed some hair away from your face, before slowly bending down to be level with your wound. A gash on your thigh, not deep enough to be fatal, but needed to be wrapped up. The smell of you, of your blood, was getting to him. He needed it, more than he needed air in his lungs. But he couldn't. Usually his impulses were impossible to control, he'd be onto a human before he could even blink, but you... He wanted to enjoy you, he didn't have the heart to hear you cry again, because of him. He'd dragged his thumb up a line of blood that had trailed down your leg, bringing it to his mouth to enjoy. You were so out of it from blood loss that you hadn't even picked up on it. And if you did, you were past caring. You were still crying, as he'd stood back up, his height very much towering over you. "I need t'wrap it up," he stated, his eyes trained on the curve of your neck. The perfect space to have a little taste. "Ya gonna to have t'come back with me." You just nodded. You were probably going to bleed out, so either way you'd die. So you were betting on this man being good. "Want me to carry ya?" He asked, and you nodded, unable to put any pressure on your leg. Smirk plastered to his face, he inched closer to you. He was breathing you in, slowly feeling himself becoming addicted to your scent. He wanted to have you around, to enjoy you more. He'd have to feed another way.

[secriden]

love sea episode 2 rewatch thoughts:

in hindsight, this opening should've clued us in that this episode was going to be horny as fuck.

ok so if episode 1 was about establishing mahasamut, i think the purpose of episode 2 is really to give us a much more nuanced introduction to tongrak. what's fascinating is that the show chooses to impart this insight to us through a rather unusual medium: sex (and, specifically, tongrak's attitude about sex).

we open with kinky kinky beach sex and it tells us that tongrak is impulsive, hedonistic, and tends to give into the emotions of the moment (something that, as the series develops, he does with increasingly self-sabotaging results; eg. when he lashes out at mahasamut after the 1st run in with prin or when he runs off to appease jak when he gets fearful in episode 9).

it also tells us that tongrak is very comfortable with his physical wants and needs. sure, mahasamut kinda flusters him because he awakens desires that are more intense than he's is used to, but tongrak's still grounded enough in his sense of self that he can roll with it pretty quickly and becomes an active, willing, even enthusiastic participant. (it's not going to be his physical desire that drives a wedge between them; its going to be the emotional connection that ends up being terrifying to tongrak.)

this episode also lays a ton of groundwork to set up why and how intensely mahasamut and tongrak are drawn to each other.

a lot of it, early on, is purely physical.

mahasamut and tongrak clock that they're compatible in their (D/s) kink immediately and they embrace this with gleeful abandonment. other people have made this point a lot more clearly than i could ever hope to (see @williamrikers excellent analysis of mutrak's kink dynamic), so i won't belabour the point, but i would like to point out how thoroughly the show wants the audience to know that these two are a perfect match physically and sexually (specifically with their particular kinks) and that they are incredibly comfortable with that.

(an aside: one thing i adore about peat's portrayal of tongrak's submissiveness in the beach scene is the way he starts out being the initiator in the kiss - in the gif above, it's tongrak that grabs mahasamut and yanks him into the kiss at first - but once its clear that mahasamut is on board, tongrak is almost constantly angled up, head tipped back, responding to mahasamut's cues but making no attempt to direct whats happening. there's so much surrender in the pliant way peat holds himself as they kiss and the way he goes from pulling mahasamut into the kiss to just clinging to his torso as he lets mahasamut take control. even when he reaches for mahasamut's dick, the second mahasamut pins him down and gives him an instruction, tongrak makes no attempt to redirect and just goes with what mahasamut wants. there's just such great detail in this portrayal of surrender.)

but what makes this encounter different (from the many, many other ones they've both had) is going to be how neither of them were able to keep this connection as purely physical for very long. (this is what episode 3 is for, though, so lets put a pin in that thought.)

back to insights into tongrak's character: we also get an escalation/confirmation about how tongrak views sex (and relationships) as purely transactional. tongrak's entire backstory is grounded in the idea that 'everybody has a price' because that's what his parents showed him. to tongrak, every human interaction is about finding the right things to give (usually money in his case) to get what he wants and this has allowed him to rationalise that feelings and emotions (both his own/the other person's) don't matter.

tongrak firmly believes that as long as he's offering something of sufficient (monetary) value, he's perfectly within rights to demand what he wants without consulting mahasamut's feelings, wants, or thoughts about the matter. in fact, he thinks of mahasamut as kind of an object for his sexual gratification and/or convenience. this is why he feels no remorse about kicking mahasamut out after they have sex even though mahasamut clearly wants to cuddle/come down from the physical high together. the next morning, it never pings to him that he should be guilty about how he treated mahasamut.

(look at his face. he's such an entitled diva. i love him so much.)

not only is this attitude - in reality - a very inaccurate way to view human beings (because as a species we are creatures very much led by our emotions), but it is the source of tongrak's own dissatisfaction and unhappiness. he never acknowledges any of his own emotional needs and so cannot manage or address them in a meaningful or healthy way.

so to summarise tongrak understands and is comfortable with his physical desires but does not know how to even acknowledge his emotional ones whilst impulsively being led by them in the heat of the moment: already we can see that this is a recipe for disaster and tells an unspoken story of pain and trauma.

(i also want to mention how well mahasamut continues to respond to tongrak's specific brand of caustic entitlement. he doesn't bother making a big deal about tongrak throwing money at him, but he also never names a price for his 'services' either. he blatantly refers to tongrak as his "owner" but also makes it clear that it's not tongrak's money that's keeping him around, but rather mahasamut's own desire for tongrak. it's like he'll act in tongrak's play but he won't quite stick to the script either. its so, so effective because he doesn't trigger tongrak's fight or flight response but he's still undermining and proving tongrak's assumptions wrong at every turn. this is what allows mahasamut to worm his way behind tongrak's walls whilst simultaneously chipping away at them.)

one last little bit of (this time non-sex-adjacent) insight into tongrak: he has a great capacity for compassion. (which will, eventually, turn into love.)

mahasamut, at this point, is mostly just an incredible lay to tongrak. but already he shows care and concern for mahasamut that's separate from what he can offer tongrak. he's concerned at a (relatively minor) hint that mahasamut has been mistreated in the past and then again concerned that mahasamut will suffer the repercussions of any hit to his reputation. [note: this is informed by a backstory regarding homophobia on the island that's from Khom/Connor's story in Love Sand, but even without that insight we can see tongrak's concern is for mahasamut.] (again, this is something the show is setting up to callback to later when tongrak gets offended on mahasamut's behalf when he thinks the waiter made fun of mahasamut.)

these little glimpses give us such a contrasting perspective on tongrak compared to episode 1, where he was mostly just a rich, entitled, and fairly unlikable character. we're being shown that what we've seen so far is really a mask as tongrak's true character slowly starts bleeding through as he has more interactions with mahasamut.

and then the episode closes on heartbreak: You're aware aren't you? Love is just a figment of our imagination.

tongrak's expression right before he says this is filled with resignation and disappointment. he hates that he has to say it but he feels its his duty to burst mahasamut's bubble. he genuinely believes this and so to him he's just doing mahasamut a favour by telling him a Truth about life. for us, this is the final crack in the mask and we see just how lost and fragile and hurt tongrak truly is.

(and the way peat sells this part - the cold almost clinical look in his eyes when he says the line. the tiny pout of his lips like tongrak can't help but feel sad about it, even though he accepts it as reality. the cold, flat tone peat uses to deliver the line when tongrak's usually quite expressive and uses lots of inflections and intonations in his speech. ugh <3)

but this is also really important because this is why we, the audience, start to care about tongrak. mame takes us on this journey, sets us up to wonder why tongrak's the main character when he starts out kinda of awful and then shifts the ground out from under us by showing us his soft, wounded underbelly. we can't help but want him to be loved, now, and this is why we become invested in 'tongrak mahasamut'.

[lesbianneopolitan]

I honestly hate waking up and first thing in the morning is being berated by my mother for things I can't control, or that I don't do on purpose, because I really can't sit down with her to try and make her understand about all of this, she won't listen or will stay ignorant

like yeah, I'm actually sorry I talk so late in the night when everyone else has to wake up early, but when I have my headphones on and I'm actually happy speaking with my gf, I tend to speak louder by accident- should've come to me and just tell me so I'm more aware and careful at that moment, because otherwise I think I'm having a normal tone (even funnier because last night I wasn't even speaking that much)

but nawww, instead of communicating she had to aggressively tell me that I don't care about anyone but myself and tried to guilt-trip me again with the 'I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night because of you and now I'm very tired when I have to clean around the house!', thinking that I do it on purpose

I feel she's taking out her frustration on everyone else today because she also got aggressive with my brother and he said literally nothing

like of course she had to bring up next the typical 'you do nothing all day but sleep or be at your computer, do you even brush your teeth?', like firstly, we are on vacations from that damned course that I'm forcing myself to study out of social pressure in hopes I can find a 'normal' job even if it makes me want to kill myself even more because I suck at it, if I seem 'lazy' believe me when I say I'm trying to just not kill myself, I'm also trying to make some money with commissions, how do I explain for a millionth time that I'm not 'lazy' on purpose

I'm going to snap one of these days again and I'm gonna end head-on at the psychiatrist, I almost impulsively just rolled up my sleeves to let the sh scars speak by themselves but I didn't

I'm so tired

[jojo-schmo]

hi jojo! im just wondering but ive been wanting to make a comic for a little while but im not too sure where to start 😅. i really love your style of art and your forgotten land roleswap, and i was wondering if you had any tips for beginners?

Hello, hello! Thank you for enjoying my Forgotten Land Roleswap comic, it means a lot! <3

I'm very honored that people have been asking me for tips and advice. All of this is coming from a hobbyist who draws these comics purely for fun outside of my regular day job. Some of my methods would probably deal psychic damage to a professional, LOL. But I'm more than happy to share some things I've personally learned! :)

First of all, the book, "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud ROCKS. It literally gave me a new dimension to understand the medium of comics and how it presents ideas and emotions to readers! And I haven't even had the chance to finish it all the way! I'm very happy I own a copy and I recommend having one of your own if you can, but it's archived here if you want to read it :D

I also like analyzing other comics and thinking about how they get information across to me as a reader. It's helped me learn more effective ways to visually tell a story, like what to include in a frame, how zooming in or out affects the feeling from the panel, maybe building a scene by focusing on other stuff if someone is talking a lot... etc.

ANYWAYS-! Some other tips I've learned through my personal experience-

I had to overcome a lot of negative self-talk in order to tackle a huge comic project like this and stay committed. I was a pretty severe self-deprecator for most of my life so far, and getting help has allowed me to catch myself when I'm slipping back into those habits, look in the mirror, and go, "NO, JOJO! You pour your heart into what you make and that is a wonderful thing! You are appreciated and loved and you deserve to have fun making something you are passionate about!!" Some examples of the negative self-talk I catch myself in....

"I'm a noob at writing and making a story interesting... What's the point of even trying?"

When it comes to starting a project, whether it's 2 pages or 2000 pages, is to just jump in and start! It's okay to be a little insecure or nervous about your technical art skills, writing skills, etc... But writing a "bad" scene is better than no scene- because you can always edit a "bad" scene down the line, but what can you do with nothing? Nothing!! I also put "bad" in quotation marks because I am trying to use that term less, and instead call them "early drafts." or "works in progress."

The first Roleswap scene I fleshed-out was the first Bandee boss fight, in May 2022. I made this drawing on an impulse, getting my ideas down on the page without thinking about the technical stuff like comic panel borders. I consider it like a "pilot episode" almost, haha. The final project is going to be very different from how things play out here. But it got me interested in the concept and excited to see where I could take it, and I made the decision to commit to an entire game plot's worth of AU comics!!

Also, what's the point in trying you ask? The point is to have fun! Making a fan comic in my free time means I don't have restrictions like deadlines, nobody's telling me what I can and can't write, and I can make the story as long or as short as I want! I have full control, which means the world I'm writing is all mine to create! Yes, with a fan comic there is a pre-established world with existing characters. But a universe like Kirby has enough open-ended concepts for people to take basic concepts in the world and take them to whole new levels! I think that's why there are so many amazing fan interpretations of Kirby characters and OCs. The rules are so vague, you can just make up your own a lot of the time!! And it's a wonderful exercise to learn skills for someday building an original world with all original characters from scratch! Magical!!!

"I'm not good enough to make a comic. I don't understand perspective or color and other stuff. Anything I make will look bad.

I once read a two panel comic on here. I can't find it anymore but I remember most of it. First panel showed the artist looking at what they're drawing on their tablet, looking defeated and sad. "Man, I don't even know how to draw this....."The next panel was like them smiling and shrugging, I think rainbows and sparkles were coming out of their tablet, ".....I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO DRAW IT SHITTY!! :D "

IF ANYONE KNOWS THIS COMIC I'M REFERENCING, PLEASE TELL ME AND I'LL LINK IT!!! Because it permanently and positively changed my brain chemistry.

No kidding, making the decision to just do my best even if it's not perfect, helped me a LOT. I was always waiting to "reach a certain level" to tackle a huge project because I felt like I'd never do it justice at my current state. Except I had been telling myself that kind of stuff for years and I still didn't start any projects!!

So the day I said, "Oh well! If I draw backgrounds shitty, then it is what it is! I'll learn from it and draw the next background a little better," Was the day I could commit fully to the project. I'll keep studying how to draw them better for my own benefit, but I won't let my skill issues stop me from even trying!

And for my limited confidence in full-color art, I solved that by making the comic in black and white with no-to-minimal shading lolol. Because I can only address one skill issue at a time before it takes me 25 years to finish this HAHAHA.

It saves a BUNCH of time to work with skill issues rather than against them! Because at least experience is gained in other ways, and who knows, maybe that new knowledge will help address the skill issues someday! So identifying your personal skill issues and deciding which one to try to grow stronger, and which one to work around, could help with big projects!

"Nobody will read this. I'm going to put months or years of my life into a dumb little thing nobody will even care about."

Learning how to draw for my own enjoyment instead of somebody else's was one of the biggest breakthroughs I ever made. Enjoying the feeling of being challenged artistically and just doing my best, even if it's not technically perfect, is the reason why I was even able to start this!

And just because someone doesn't directly like, comment or whatever on a post doesn't mean nobody saw it! I used to get really down on myself for the lack of engagement on my art on other websites.

I was a lurker for pretty much my entire teenage years and never posted my own stuff or commented much. But that didn't take away the fact that I really enjoyed the things I saw online. Those positive feelings were real to me, even when I didn't know how to articulate it in words. Granted, I grew up into a Words of Affirmation main, and I use words to tell people the positive things I think about them as much as I can! But I know not everyone prefers words to express themselves. So I think about the people that I don't know enjoy my work- that just because I don't see it doesn't mean I didn't make a positive impact on someone by sharing my stories.

THIS IS GETTING LONG-- UHHH, STORY TIPS!!

If you work best on technology, start building the story in a Notes app, or a Google Doc! If you work best with pen and paper, start a notebook and rearrange stuff as you need to!

Or if you're chaotic like me, a mix of tech and paper!! I bought a notebook with ring binding so I can remove and rearrange pages of drafts as much as I wanted to! Like here's two very rough concept pages of one Chapter 1 scene made months apart.

I'd say planning out the biggest basic plot points and then filling in between as I went was most helpful! I also have separate notes for character motivations, important story-changing events, etc... So I can have my own reference when I'm writing new scenes!

Okay this was a lot, sorry about the yapping! Hopefully it helps even a tiny bit. If you have any specific questions I'm happy to talk about my experience in the creation process! Or elaborate on anything I said above.

And finally, because I'm not a professional there are probably plenty of other tactics that could work better for some people. My ADHD probably doesn't help with the chaos of my process either, HAHA. But thank you for reading this far and enjoying the peek into the rainbow glitter and soap bubbles that inhabit the right side of my brain, heehee.