#i have no impulse control when i make things so this is a very early jaehyun bday post <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[yunogf]

Valentine's Day circa 1997

[quietwingsinthesky]

the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.

(gestures vaguely) twissy.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro observations of players/ heartbreakers - 26

Libra placements: Libras really adore romantic attention (when single & sometimes even in a relationship) they will flirt with people they really have no attraction to for fun or cuz their bored. They have this amazing ability to make others feel really special just for them to be doing that to 5 others or just for it to be completely ingenuine. They can be so charming that you really believe they like you until you realize they don’t. Libras leave a lot of broken hearts behind them. They will say the most heart warming shit that will have you thinking they’re in love with you just to leave you for the cutie next door 😭 especially if you have libra in your sun, moon and rising.

5th house stellium’s: oh lord lol these people can be everywhere in terms of the heart. The 5th house is related to short love affairs. So you can imagine these people go thru a lot of potential partners in their life (unless afflicted or Saturns in the 5th). These people are very flirty they love the feeling of having new crushes and the LOVE the attention they get from their crush too. However, these people normally have a lot of crushes and never usually settles down with one. This can be a big baby maker placement especially if Jupiter and Venus are involved. I’ve seen men with a lot of 5th house placements that have babies with multiple women or have a lot of baby mommas. They tend to do very risky shit for fun just for it to backfire on them. They are part animals at heart and usually that’s where I notice they make most of their mistakes they end up regretting. They usually end up getting caught up in the heat of the moment when it comes to people their attracted to which can lead to a cheating problem.

Sagittarius suns: if you can get a Sagittarius to actually commit to you you won.. no but seriously they are not the best with commitment😭 when they feel a relationship is getting too close I notice they start to get cold feet and become really distant with their partner or do little things to self sabotage the relationship. They are very romantic very fast in the beginning of the relationship. Most Sagittarius’s move REALLY fast and are impulsive when getting in relationships. They usually try to commit too early having the other party believe they are in love with them just for them to back out the minute it gets to stabilized and that isn’t usually long. They can feel like their partners slow them down in some way and end up neglecting the relationship.

Scorpio Venus: now I really don’t believe all these posts saying “this this the most die heart loyal sign” cuz that’s complete bull crap and the people who know know😭 I’m mostly talking about the men in this situation but these men can be the biggest cheaters!! It’s honestly rare to see these people not cheat from what I’ve seen. They are really picky of the women they date and I notice the women they do pick to date they don’t really like them that much?? They go for people they have a very mild attraction to usually and for such intense people it’s something you wouldn’t expect. I believe Scorpio Venus do this as a way of control because when they are truly in love and with the right partner they become fiercely loyal and loving. But I don’t think they seek out those type of relationships because they are often extremely painful for them because of their intense emotions, when they are truly in love they feel like they have no control over themselves when in that state, so I think they find people they don’t love that deeply so they can be in complete control of themselves and their partner. Which is why they can be very possessive and jealous of their partner even while their sleeping around it’s a big control thing. But I believe once they find their soulmate it’s the complete opposite but that’s usually a challenge.

Pisces Venus: these are also extreme charmers like libra. Pisces is exalted here so they have the ability to be some of the most romantic loving partners, they will sweep you off your feet with the words and promises that they give you then outta no where where you think everything’s perfect between the two of you… he ghosts you. Then next thing you know you see him at the bar talking to another girl like nothing. These men tend to never quite know what they want and usually have wandering eyes for other females. The commitment line is usually really blurred for these people which is why they attract a lot of situationships no one knows what it really is.

Aqua Venus: these people play hot & cold soo much it can drive the person they’re talking to a little crazy. When they are unsure of the partner they tend to juggle them around until they decide. One minute they are so flirty and engaging and romantic towards you then the next they’re ignoring your texts, giving you really dry robotic responses. They put their partners thru a whirlwind to get to their heart. This can leave the other party feel like they are being stringed along (most likely they are) like Scorpio Venus they are very picky with their partners and settle for very authentic/unique people. They can like the most oddest people or just people you’d never expect them to date. You never know what’s going to melt these peoples heart. They really need someone who excites them. (Sn: I notice Scorpio and Aqua Venus’s actually make an amazing couple)

Uranus square Venus: one minute they wanna break up & meet other people the next they want you again and the cycle repeats. These are the kings & queens of on and off relationships 😂 they can never seem to make up their mind on if they’re ready to commit, they can be really unpredictable in love which can be pretty exhausting. One minute they’re in love the next they’re bored and cold towards you. U tend to have a lot of relationships come and go but can’t seem to get them stabilized. This can leave your partners feeling really confused & played.

Gemini Venus: they never really seem like they’re interested in anyone they’re dating. They are always trying to seek out attention from other people even when in a relationship. Their crushes are usually very superficial and fleeting. It takes A LOT to keep these people attention, you have to be very mentally stimulating and almost fascinate them to really get them hooked on you. But they are not easily impressed, they are really good at predicting people’s behaviors so it’s hard to find someone that really excites them. They enjoy things they can’t predict or keeps them guessing it lights up their curious minds (go for a Venus in aqua!).

P.S. just because you have any of the placements mentioned that doesn’t make you a player other placements obviously play a role! Just the most common ones I’ve observed 🐮

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧ THE LAST TIME THEY SAW YOU ୧ PAC

Hello my lovelies! Welcome to another pick a card. This reading is all about the last time you saw them! We will be looking into their feelings and thoughts, as well as channeling extra songs and messages from this person. Feedback, likes and reblogs help me grow my platform and are highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.comvia paypal! xo ♡

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›    none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise. ›    personal readings are available!

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? knight of swords ‧ eight of pentacles ‧ queen of wands ‧ the emperor ‧ eight of cups

Oh, this person was trying to look unbothered. Busy. They were trying to make it seem like they were completely over you and not at all tempted to take a leap towards you. They were holding back their fire, their impulsivity, holding onto logic and stoicism.

This person is proud, okay, really proud. They've got a big ego and along with it, a lot of self-denial, especially when it comes to their feelings towards you. It's almost as if they feel nothing at all, but this Emperor looks nervous, he looks fidgety, like he is trying to keep his hands busy and his eyes away from the Queen of Wands. Many of the messages felt very 18+, lol.

If they left the scene early, it's probably because of you. You made them feel off, you made them feel out of control, uneasy. This person's attraction towards you is no joke, but they're not ready to deal with those feelings yet. It's as if your presence is a hurricane, taking everything down, making them question everything they worked so hard to build. Jesus, pile one, I don't know what you've done to this person, but it has a very intense emotional and physical effect on them.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? nine of wands ‧ five of swords ‧ four of cups ‧ page of wands ‧ seven of swords

They were focusing on keeping their feelings under wraps. Not only were their nervous, but also quite sneaky. Depending on who this person is, they may have been trying to look happy with other people, so moved on, all the while feeling miserable. If the two of you talked, they may have sneaked in a few white lies about how happy they were to meet you, how good they're doing, etc.

But mostly, their mind was all over the place. They kept trying to make themselves look cooler than how they really felt, planning how they were moving, who they were going to talk to... how they'd approach you, how they'd make you jealous or make you feel inferior. This person is extremely competitive - big ego, like I said. Whatever has happened between the two of you lingers a lot on their mind and leaves them feeling ungrounded, anxious and out of control.

If a fight happened between the two of you, that's what they were thinking of. They had all the comebacks, but held back from fighting. For most of you, they just wanted to rub their happiness, their joy in your face. Regardless of how much of a lie that actually is.

channeled songs and messages. she's so gone by lemonade mouth, liar liar pants on fire, champagne, best friends forever, necklace, silver, diamond ring, "she looks nothing like you", olivia rodrigo, beef, cindy lou who by sabrina carpenter.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? seven of cups ‧ ten of wands ‧ death ‧ ten of pentacles ‧ four of wands

Gosh, they were overwhelmed inside, pile two. All the what ifs, the yearning and the missing you caught up to this person. They grieved the could've been... or perhaps they grieved what was, for some of you. Right then and there, they realized it may have been to late to fix things, to make them right again. Although they wanted to, they were too tired to bother. The sight of you was enough to bring back old memories, many of which they were probably trying to forget or get over.

A specific song came to my mind for this pile, called The Dress by Dijon. It tells the story of two people meeting up again after some time and they both seem to miss each other, still a little hurt from the breakup - but the feelings are not bitter, just sweet and intense.

For most, they felt a mixture of feelings. They probably didn't let you in on it, but it was there. Joy, sadness, hurt, anger. A lot of these emotions at once, which made them realize that they still hold out a candle for you. They still hope for something more, even if this connection is in limbo right now, their heart could not stop longing for more. There's a lot of fantasizing as well, which is why I'll get to the next portion of the reading!

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? the hanged man ‧ five of cups ‧ the devil ‧ the hermit ‧ ace of pentacles

They figured some time should go by until both of you heal some more before trying again. Honestly, this person may be intentionally giving you some space until the two of you can talk or have something more solid, more stable. They thought the wounds and hurt was too fresh, the regret still lingers and they still feel tied to these unhealthy patterns or behaviors that led to your demise.

If they treated you poorly, ghosted, rejected or even cheated on you, they deeply regret it. They may not have said it, but they're sorry for the way things turned out.

However, they want to heal. They're being more strategic about themselves, looking inward, trying to discover the aspects of them that probably unconsciously ruined this relationship. They seem pretty serious about leaving the past behind, to give it some time until the connection can be renewed. Maybe later down the line, when both of you are older, you'll be able to sit down and talk, once the two of you have forgiven your past mistakes and the regrets are not so heavy on their mind. Even if as friends, they wouldn't want to miss out on this opportunity.

channeled songs and messages. all too well by tswift, birthday candles, night time, silk dress, "stupid", 777, "i should have known", secret playlist, see you again, 405, train, bus, we meet by chance, pictures off the wall, country, folk, 00's pop.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? page of swords ‧ nine of pentacles ‧ knight of cups ‧ the hanged man ‧ the moon

Feelings they tried to bury deep within have come out and made this person realize they really like you. They were curious - they wanted to know if you were single, if you were seeing someone... how you were doing. But gosh, they felt so insecure, indecisive and confused. This person has deep-seated fears when it comes to relationships that they may not let on.

They wanted to talk, to reach out, to ask you out. For most of you, this is an intense crush. They like you, they do, but they have self-sabotaging tendencies that stall them, that make them stay in one place and never move. Even if this Knight of Cups doesn't wish to, he moves away from the woman in the 9 of Pentacles, like he's a walking contradiction.

This person is not used to these feelings. They seem much like a small child discovering something quite obvious to everyone else but them. I hear Rubik's Cube by Athlete in my mind, you should definitely check out the lyrics if this reading resonates.

You make them question their sanity, almost. Not in a bad way, but you've intrigued them, haunted their heart because they have been trying to figure out why these feelings are there, just why they like and want you so much, but there's just no answer. You make them giddy, you make them excited, a little nervous and high up in the clouds. They just don't want you to know that yet.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? the empress ‧ the moon ‧ two of pentacles ‧ ace of swords ‧ the fool

Quite literally, they could not stop thinking about your beauty. You stand out to this person even if you're not trying to. They just wanted to focus on something else, but their mind kept being drawn towards you, their eyes couldn't get enough of your beauty, your charm, how intelligent, whole and perfect you seem in their eyes.

No matter how they tried to control their thoughts, their hidden world came to the surface. They were forced to acknowledge that yes, they do like you and they might have to do something about it. To take a leap of faith even if it makes them look foolish, childish or stupid in your eyes. They knew they'll have to do it scared if they want to be with you, they'll have to face their fears and insecurities in order to be worthy of you.

They may have been weighing the pros and cons in their mind as well, but the answer was bravery, courage. The cards here suggest they want to do something bold, they definitely have thought about it long enough to realize coming towards you will be a big step, but the great start of an adventure for the two of you.

channeled songs and messages. start of something new by high school musical, late night nostalgia, november, december, aquarius, pisces, venus, libra, 2, 222, breakthrough, "out with the old, in with the new", new year's eve.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? the world ‧ seven of swords ‧ the chariot ‧ two of wands ‧ ten of pentacles

I'm not really sure what kind of connection you may have with this person, but they were quite literally feeling on top of the world. They wanted to show off, they felt successful, accomplished - almost to an arrogant, overbearing degree - and surrounded by good things. They were likely wearing fancy clothes, being loud in the crowd, trying to catch everybody's attention, but especially yours.

It may not have seemed like they were trying to gain your approval because they seemed just so fine and comfortable in the spotlight, but secretly, they were hoping you'd look their way and feel that way about them: successful, well-known, well-read, handsome, accomplished.

Maybe they had a few too many drinks to begin with, or maybe they just partied too hard, but the feeling here is one of humble-bragging whilst simultaneously showering oneself in praise. It's quite interesting, to be honest, but the heart of the matter is that they were feeling good, looking good and they wanted to make sure you would see that. I wouldn't be surprised if this person hit on someone or several different people to try and make you jealous. The energy is not malicious, but extremely immature, f-boy almost.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? queen of pentacles ‧ six of swords ‧ knight of cups ‧ five of pentacles ‧ five of cups

This is oddly specific, but, you probably didn't give them an ounce of attention. If you did, they didn't think it was enough. They took your actions as rejection, because you seemed so healed, so fine, so unbothered and joyful that this person could not help but think negatively afterwards.

Whatever their plan was, it didn't work with you. If they tried to play mind games, to sweep you off your feet and make you come towards them... it didn't work, so they saw themselves as some sort of failure. This person has a very fluctuating self-esteem, they seem to rely a lot on the opinions and actions of others to define their self-worth.

For whatever reason, they were hoping to gain your approval - but the fact they didn't get whatever they wanted from you made them pity themselves. They may have spent the night over-analyzing, moping to friends or to themselves about it, wondering why you didn't give them a chance, why you didn't look their way.

channeled songs and messages. "homeboy", friends with benefits, dior, crowded place, 666, rap, hip hop, freestyle, ice on my teeth by ateez, overspending, prada, diamond tears, big checks, blackpink, money by lisa, expensive perfume, menswear.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content!

DISCLAIMER. tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. be mindful ♡

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.

like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.

And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).

And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.

And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.

And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.

Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.

I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.

anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.

[mediumgayitalian]

prev

———

Will is good at making decisions.

It’s one of the only things he’s good at, actually. He can’t fight. He can’t control water or lightning or plants. He’s not as smart as Athena’s kids or as charming as Aphrodite’s. He is clumsy and soft-hearted and stubborn. But he is observant, he always has been, and he prides himself in his ability to think ahead. He keeps his infirmary stocked and his siblings on schedule. He reigns in head counsellor meetings and draws up binders and binders of files and projects — he is organised. He watches, he notices, he reflects, he prepares. He’s as impulsive as the rest of them, sure, but he has enough contingencies in place that he’s solid. A solid head on his shoulders, and he knows it — the head medic must.

So when he watches himself, horrified, diverge from his very detailed twenty-nine step process entitled The di Angelo Dilemma: Approaching Friendship like a Normal Person and ask Nico to come over, he considers the possibility that he has been possessed. Maybe the eidolons that fucked everything up the first time around have been crouching in dark corners, patiently awaiting the perfect time to strike and ruin Will’s life.

“See you then,” says Nico, rushing out the door, and Will smiles at him easily, watching him dash across the common, and then he sets aside the folder he’s updating, walks calmly out of the empty infirmary, nodding to Mr. D. as he passes, turns a corner in the hallway, slips into his favourite supply closet, sticks a chair under the door handle, clears his throat, and screams.

It’s one of those good screams, by design; he takes a good deep breath beforehand and lets the sound billow out of him, lets it scrape the sides of his throat raw and reverberate somewhere in the base of his skull. Were he not home in a camp that regularly makes use of lethal weaponry and deadly rivalry, entire armies would come running to his defense. As it is, he is left to fall to his knees and scream until he is hoarse, or until he hears a faint will you shut the fuck up! echo from around the vegetable gardens.

“Why me,” he croaks, giving in and collapsing to the floor.

It’s a nice floor, really. In between breakdowns he returns and decorates the place, sweeping up the dust and covering floors and surfaces with rugs and throw pillows. A guitar leans in the far corner for when his mother is thousands of miles away and he’s feeling sorry for himself. A photo album lives half-shoved under a shelf for when he is in need of punishing. His sketchbook remains in a constant state of almost-full under the one dusty window. (That one carries slightly less general despair.)

He is, upon reflection, somewhat of a disastrous person.

How fitting.

“Ugh,” he says out loud, to himself, and reaches for his guitar.

He has no intention of playing anything worthwhile. In fact he doesn’t even bother tuning it, not that he can very well anyway, and just strums random chords and riffs and yells over a string of flat discortants, at one point, filling the tiny room with noise ontop of noise ontop of noise until everything is gleefully stifling, like a mass of birds clouding the sun, like the thirteenth year of swarming cicadas, like the twentieth layer of July Texan heat. Until the mess is transferred from inside of his head to outside of it. Until he has committed so many musical sins that his father retreats from the sky a full forty minutes early.

“I feel you are at fault,” says Kayla, when he finally returns to their cabin. “For.” She gestures vaguely at The Outdoors.

“Hnnngh,” responds Will, taking three steps and tipping, gracelessly, onto Austin’s bunk, nearly bouncing right off of it. He catches himself, barely, and presses hard into the pillow, curling when his brother makes space for him, when his sister sighs, deliberately loud, and presses her knee into his thigh as she climbs up, too.

“This is your own fault,” Kayla grumbles. Her bony shoulders settle along the dips of his ribs, next to Austin’s thin ankles. “You could talk about things before they blow up in your face, but nooooooo. You run around doing everything yourself. Moron.”

Will swipes the heel of his hand under his eyes, throat garbling a weird snort-laugh-sniffle. Those bony shoulders tip to the side, slowly, until she curls under his chin, dragging Austin down with her. “You’re so mean to me.”

“Sh-h,” Austin says, patting blindly until his palm finds Will’s face, then patting deliberately. His knees press against Will’s, now, forehead inches away, barely clinging onto the too-narrow mattress. “Quiet town now. Reflect in your foolishness.”

“So mean.”

Years ago, exactly how many Will refuses to count, this exact scenario would be met by lots and lots of teasing, by pinched cheeks and cuffed shoulders and a forehead kissed several times over. There would be at least six instruments played at once, a camera flash the second he walked in the door pouting, and more lights on that would ever be necessary. An oft-repeated and never-resolved debate, probably; you coddle him, Cass; oh, shut up, Michael, he’s little. The scent of woodgrain and antiseptic and vanilla. A thousand other details he never thought to memorize.

Now there is quiet, or at least more of it.

Kayla hums, notes muffled as she gnaws on her lip, and Austin’s socked feet tap against the blankets, mapping out the tune playing out in his far-away eyes. The last final glow of the horizon turns red, then orange, then violet, sinking into dark navy blue, and their aunt blinks her way into focus, stretching widely across the thin wisping clouds. The fairy lights wrapped around the pillars and ceiling beams blink alongside the stars, chatting away to each other, and the breeze from the window is soft and warm and almost as sweet as southern jasmine. There is a pit in the dead centre of Will’s chest, and he is afraid Kayla will fall into it, and then Austin; afraid they will succumb to his gaping maw.

“What if I ruin absolutely everything,” he says. He swallows, and then again, and again, because his throat is dry, escape for the burning trails mapping the his face from corner of his eye to mouth. “What if I — scare. Am. What if I’m the reason, again.”

Diana snorts. You are such a drama queen.

And that’s coming from this theatre, Lee adds, gesturing grandly to the gold pillars of the cabin. You’ll be fine, kid.

A chorus of agreements from the rest of the occupied bunks; Kate’s encouraging grin, Leanna’s fond hair ruffle as she dances past, Amir’s wink.

Will smiles and blinks back and he is gone, and Michael’s scowl disappears, and Kate and Phoebe’s laughter fades from the background. The cabin is quiet, shadowy; Austin and Kayla breathe quietly, swallow silently.

“I don’t know,” Kayla admits. “You — could be. Again.”

Will squeezes his eyes shut. He begs for Lee to go back to his sleep for the night. He inhales around the shake and inhales and inhales and inhales and feels the vacuum dead centre in his body, like from navel to spin, twisting, tubing, sucking; take, take, take, take. Can I, can I, can I. I want. Please. Let me have.

“I’m not sure it’s better not to try, though.” Austin’s hands curl around Will’s palm. “Right? You always say to — try. Do your best.”

A smile curls up the corner of Will’s mouth.

“I do.”

“And you did try.”

“I did.”

“Did it fail?”

Will flicks down to meet Kayla’s eyes, squinting one and tucking his chin.

“I asked to come over.”

“Oh, well — okay, Marilyn Monroe. Like that’s a new thing.”

“For no reason.”

“…Oh.”

“I could go on the sand rant, Kayla. I’m like a sleeper agent. As soon as he says it, I’ll — you know.”

Austin shifts, frowning thoughtfully. “I mean, he kind of already knows you’re weird.”

“Not this weird!”

“I think everyone knows you’re weird, actually,” Kayla adds. She wiggles, squirming and elbowing until she is half-perched on the fleshy part of Will’s waist, ignoring his wheezing. “Being a nerd dork loser is kind of your whole thing.”

“It is not!”

“You have binders dedicated to people, Will.”

“That’s not bad!”

“Specifically on how to best socialize with them, Will.”

“That’s — thoughtful!”

“…Sometimes being related to you is hard.”

“I am! Collecting data! To better my relationships! What is the issue!”

Austin and Kayla exchange a meaningful look — which does not, Will is relatively certain, usually involve putting your entire palm on your brother’s face and shoving it so it cannot be seen. Kayla.

“You’re doomed to fail,” they decide. And then they kick him off the bed, which is rude, but he is weak to their giggling, and it’s bedtime for them, anyways.

As per his carefully outlined routine they are sent to the showers and sinks, back in half an hour, bickering. As per his less carefully outlined but nonetheless regularly present routine they are separated physically from each other and shoved to seperate bunks. As per his most carefully outlined routine, he follows them each, ignoring their complaints, and presses the back of his hand to each forehead, closing his eyes as he lets his life force bleed into theirs, mixing, checking, making sure.

“We’re fine,” Kayla grumbles.

“Shut up and cough,” Will orders.

Austin gives him less trouble. Will makes a show of thanking him for it. Kayla throws her extra pillow. Will takes it, placing it on his own bed. It is silent after he says goodnight, silent as he clicks off the light, gathers his caddy, pads to the door.

“Goodnight,” whispers a voice, half hidden by the creak of the screen door as he opens it.

“Goodnight,” whispers another, half hidden by the cream of the screen door as he closes it.

“Goodnight,” Will repeats, grinning. “Sleep well, kiddos.”

They grumble, and their bedsprings groan as they turn away, mimicking the grate of the rickety porch steps. That, at least, is familiar; that at least matches the echoes that bounce around the walls of the cabin and the inside of his skull.

———

next

[trophyprincess]

Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.

Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.

Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)

One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.

If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.

Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.

Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!

THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)

If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!

When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)

Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.

Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.

[holylulusworld]

Very tight places - Kinktober 3

Summary: You're stuck with a soulless Sam again.

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x fem!Reader

Square 8 filled for @anyfandomgoesbingo: Amnesia

Square 6 filled for @samwinchesterbingo: Dirty Talk

Warnings: soulless!Sam being his asshole self, cheating (kinda), smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of anal sex, creampie, claustrophilia, blasphemie

Rating: Explicit

Kink: Claustrophilia

Words:

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

Catch up here: Cramped (1) & Tight places (2)

Six months later you are still hunting with Dean and Sam. You didn’t want to leave the elder Winchester alone with his soulless brother. 

Who are you trying to kid? The ugly and embarrassing truth is, that you can’t stay away from Sam for too long.

He’s intoxicating. You’re high on him, and the way he fucks you. If you had an ounce of dignity left, you’d tell the bastard to fuck off. But you are too far gone to care.

Most nights, you let him do unspeakable things to you. Dean stumbled in on you and his brother, calling you sick more than once. He wrinkles his nose anytime Sam gropes you in front of his brother.

Sam has no filter. In any way. When it comes to sex, he doesn’t care if you are in the middle of a case, at a hospital, or buying groceries. Sam wants you, and he gets you.

Anytime. Anywhere.

“Sam, what are we doing here, dressed in the cheapest costumes we could find,” you grumble as Sam decides you must play nun and priest to solve your latest case. 

Dean is out and about to find Death. Not to die this time, but to convince Death himself to help him get Sam’s soul back. 

Sam is not amused. He wants to stay like this. New and improved. Deadly, focused, and with a sexual appetite making even Dean blush.

“I look ridiculous. They will not believe I’m a nun.” Glancing around the almost empty church you sigh. At least there are not many people around to witness your poor performance.

“Why?” Sam resists the urge to grope your ass. Seeing you in your nun costume got him rock-hard. If not for the case he wants to solve, he’d have you bent over the altar already. “We look just the same as the priest I knocked out to get his clothes.”

“You did what?” you stop in your tracks to gape at Sam. “Please tell me you didn’t knock a priest out, Samuel Winchester. I don’t want to go to hell only because you have no impulse control.”

Sam smirks darkly. “You are so cute when mad,” he dips his head to whisper, “not so cute while you writhe on my fat cock. You’re a whore, not a saint. I know how you like it. Dirty and rough.”

“Sam, can you for once not think about your dick?” You growl. “We still need to find the monster killing the people at the church. Sadly, the only witness still suffers from amnesia.”

“That’s where you come in,” Sam purrs. “I didn’t want you to wear this iconic tunic only for fun. You are the one taking Sister Margaret’s place. You’ll fit in just fine.”

“I don’t want to play the next victim for the monster. Which by the way, you still didn’t identify, Sam. Maybe you shouldn’t have spent the last night at the bar with that blonde,” you snap at the hunter. You don’t give a shit if your blow your cover. Sam won’t get away with treating you like a random bitch he can fuck and leave afterward.

“Y/N, be honest with me,” he chuckles at your angry expression, “are you jealous because you are in love with me?“

“You wish,” you walk away, too angry to be around Sam today. Are you jealous? Of course, you are. Sam and you spent the last months together. Most of the time in the sheets. But last night, he told you to leave and didn’t return until early in the morning.

“Don’t be like that, baby,” Sam mocks you. “I know you love me. You draw hearts and imagine walking down the aisle while I wait for you to give you the ring.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you turn back around to snap at Sam. “I can’t wait for Dean to get your soul back. The moment you have it back, I’m gone. Don’t believe I stuck around for you and your limp dick. I did it for Dean because he’s a good man. Always was.”

“You want my brother?” His features darken, and you can see the change in Sam’s eyes. You take a step back. You know the look in his eyes. It’s the same one you see when he’s about to attack a monster. “Well, too bad. He can’t have you.”

“He can have me if he wants me.” It’s your turn to pay Sam back for all the times you asked yourself if he’s with some other girl. “Just like you had that pretty little thing last night.”

Sam snorts. “She was boring and wanted to go on a date first.” He casually says. As if this excuses his behavior, and how he treated you last night. “Come. I show you something nice.”

“Sam, I’m not in the mood for one of your games. Let’s just solve this case and we can go our separate ways. I stuck around far longer than I intended to.” You huff as Sam once again, ignores your protests. He grabs you by your arm and drags you toward the confession booth.

“Sam! What are you doing?” 

“Shush now, I saw someone,” he pushes you inside the booth and closes the door behind him. You gulp. You’re stuck in a tight place with Sam again. “Do you have your gun?”

“What kind of question is that Winchester? I’m not an idiot!”

“Good. Stay in here and wait for me,” he turns around to look at you. Something flashes in his eyes before he turns around to leave the booth. Not without telling you to lock it, though…

You’re gnawing at your nails. Sam left you at the confession booth half an hour ago, and now you don’t know if you left the booth to help him or not. 

You press your ear to the door, listening to your breathing. There is not a sound, and you wonder if Sam messed with you and just left the church.

“Open the door,” Sam knocks at the door, “now.”

“Fuck, Winchester,” you curse, but unlock the door to drag Sam inside. He closes it behind him once again and releases an annoyed huff as you check him for injuries. 

“You can't wait to put your hands on me again, huh?” Sam turns around to look you up and down. “You know,” he licks his lips. His large hands shoot toward your face to cradle it for a moment, “I think you should confess your sins to me, my dear.”

“I said I’m not in the mood for one of your games,” you pout and cross your arms over your chest. “Why did you leave me in here, all alone? Did you find the monster?”

“I fucked the nuns and gave them a good spanking,” Sam deadpans. “What do you think I did? I kept you safe. The monster wasn’t here. We will find them, though.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“And you are still my whore. My brother can’t have you,” he moves his hand to your throat. “Say it.”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish I would,” he chuckles as you claw at the hand holding your throat in a tight grip. “OR maybe I should remind you of your worth. Turn around, lift your tunic, sister. I want to see your cunt.”

“No.”

“Do it or I swear I’ll drag you out of here and fuck you on the altar like I wanted to,” he warns. You know Sam is not joking. If you don’t do as he says, he’ll drag you out and have his way with you on the altar.

He drops his hand from your throat, smirking as you slowly turn around. You shove the black tunic up your body to reveal your ass to him. 

“I hate you so much.”

“No panties,” Sam moves his hand between your legs to find you dripping for him. “you’re such a whore for me. I can’t believe I found someone like you.”

You should knee his balls and just leave him there. Instead, you press your hands against the wooden wall and brace yourself for Sam’s massive cock. He’s not a fan of foreplay when he’s like that. 

“My whore.” He runs his large hand over your back, down to your ass. “Look at you, ready to have my cock. I think I’ll go for your ass today.”

You suck in a breath. It’s always a struggle to take him up your ass. Especially when he’s impatient. 

“Here?”

“Aw, my little cockslut loves having me up her ass, huh?” His pants drop to the ground before you can even choke out a moan. Sam is on you in a blink. One hand moves between your legs to slap your pussy. “Answer me!”

“YES!”

“Louder!”

“I love your cock up my ass,” he slaps your pussylips again, and again until your tender flesh throbs and you soak his hand. “I want to feel it all the time.”

“Beg me,” he slings his arm around your throat. “Y/N, I’m not asking,” Sam growls in your ear. “I want to hear you beg.”

“Please give me your cock, Father Winchester,” he bends your body to his will and rams himself inside of your leaking cunt.

“Fuck,” Sam is not gentle. All he gives you is his free hand between your legs to toy with your clit. He snaps his hips into your ass, making you cry out with every deep thrust. “I love it when cry a little.”

“Ass-hole,” you press your hands hard against the wooden wall. “I hate you so much.”

Sam doesn’t care about your words, or that you soak his cock only a few thrusts later. He batters your cunt, hoping to force another orgasm out of you to make you see that only he can fulfill your desires.

“You make the sweetest noises when I fuck you,” he nips at your earlobe, teeth sinking in your flesh to tug at it. You moan and push back onto him. Sam knows exactly which buttons he must push to get what he wants. “I’m going to fill this cunt up again.”

You hiss his name when your body sizes up. You tremble in his arms and close your eyes as your orgasm washes over you. When he fucks you like this, from behind you can pretend it’s the real Sam, not the broken version of the hunter.

“You’re such a good slut for me, Y/N. I’ll never let you go,” his words a more threat than a promise. His hips begin to stutter. “Open that pussy for me, take my cum…”

You don’t know how you made it out of the church without getting caught. Sam’s cum ran down your thighs as he dragged you out of the place you stained with your sins.

Back at the motel, you try to make him talk to you. Sam sits across you, just staring at you.

“Sam, we still need to find the monster.” You sigh as he ignores you. “SAM! The monster.”

“It was a hoax,” he shrugs and drops his eyes to your legs. “I wanted to fuck you at a church in a confession booth.”

“There is no monster?” Your jaw drops. “You drove to the middle of nowhere, and forced me to wear a nun costume only for sex.”

“Roleplay, kitten. It’s essential to keep my dick hard.” He watches you squirm on the bed. “Be good and spread your legs. Let me see your tainted cunt.”

“Sam…can you just not be so crass all the time?” 

“I said,” he gets up from his seat to stand in front of your bed, “spread your legs and show me your well-fucked and cum stained cunt.”

“Fine,” you fall back onto the bed and spread your legs. “Satisfied.”

“Hmm…I don’t know,” he unbuckles his belt with one hand and shoves his pants down his legs. “I think you need more cum in your pussy…”

“Please tell me you got him out,” Dean looks at Death. 

“I got his soul, and we should hurry but,” Death looks Dean straight in the eyes, “I must warn you. This soul got ripped apart, and there is not much left of the brother you knew…

Part 4

[darylbae]

hi new tumblr writer :3

I would give anything for vampire daryl (perhaps gender neutral pronouns)

smut, angst, fluff, idc. just give me vampire daryl (please)

pretty little thing — daryl dixon 🩰

in which vamp!daryl finds you in the woods, but doesn't have it in him to feed on you

note: im new to vamp!daryl so this will be very short, however if you like it i can make more!!

Daryl has had urges. Urges to feed, urges that are biologically something he can't help. He's always had these urges, since before the world fell apart, however it was easier to maintain back then. Now, with resources being limited, it was harder. It was even harder to keep this from the people around him. Nothing tasted like human blood. No deer, squirrel, or rabbit would ever taste as good as a human.

Daryl would wake up early to feed, and go to bed later than the rest of the group. He'd managed to hide it well, nobody had questioned him yet. Even when the people they'd butt heads with would disappear and no longer be an issue. Blood on him, on anyone, wasn't out of the ordinary anymore. It was another early morning, Daryl had his crossbow slung on his arm. He walked with purpose, not having fed on any human in a while was making him ravenous. His boots crunched on the leaves as he left the rest of the group, finally getting into the woods to look for something filling. With his heightened hearing, he couldn't hear much. Couldn't smell anything close by. So it would be a long journey ahead of him.

He'd trekked through almost half the woods now, after picking up a sound a while ago, he believed to be getting closer to it. He growled to himself, just wanting the metallic taste sat on his tongue again. It had been so long. There it was again. That sound. That faint whimper in the distance. He'd picked up speed, trying to be light on his feet, but it was no use. He needed it. Now. There you were, clutching a tree with tears rolling down your face. You were a treat. He'd approached you, and of course you were apprehensive, like all smart girls were. But you were so desperate, that you'd reached out for him. "Please..." You yelped, putting all of your weight onto him, "my leg, it hurts." Daryl held your waist, looking down at the blood sliding down your leg. Like a warm chocolate drizzle on a cake, you looked good enough to feast on. Daryl noticed you had only shorts on, not entirely practical for the world you live in, and a jacket with a utility vest wrapped around you. Boots too, great choice. He could smell you, so sickly sweet. "Aren't you a pretty, little thing?" You looked up at him, brows tilted upwards and pure innocence in your eyes. "What happened?" He asked, pushing you backwards gently to lean on the tree behind you. He'd brushed some hair away from your face, before slowly bending down to be level with your wound. A gash on your thigh, not deep enough to be fatal, but needed to be wrapped up. The smell of you, of your blood, was getting to him. He needed it, more than he needed air in his lungs. But he couldn't. Usually his impulses were impossible to control, he'd be onto a human before he could even blink, but you... He wanted to enjoy you, he didn't have the heart to hear you cry again, because of him. He'd dragged his thumb up a line of blood that had trailed down your leg, bringing it to his mouth to enjoy. You were so out of it from blood loss that you hadn't even picked up on it. And if you did, you were past caring. You were still crying, as he'd stood back up, his height very much towering over you. "I need t'wrap it up," he stated, his eyes trained on the curve of your neck. The perfect space to have a little taste. "Ya gonna to have t'come back with me." You just nodded. You were probably going to bleed out, so either way you'd die. So you were betting on this man being good. "Want me to carry ya?" He asked, and you nodded, unable to put any pressure on your leg. Smirk plastered to his face, he inched closer to you. He was breathing you in, slowly feeling himself becoming addicted to your scent. He wanted to have you around, to enjoy you more. He'd have to feed another way.

[secriden]

love sea episode 2 rewatch thoughts:

in hindsight, this opening should've clued us in that this episode was going to be horny as fuck.

ok so if episode 1 was about establishing mahasamut, i think the purpose of episode 2 is really to give us a much more nuanced introduction to tongrak. what's fascinating is that the show chooses to impart this insight to us through a rather unusual medium: sex (and, specifically, tongrak's attitude about sex).

we open with kinky kinky beach sex and it tells us that tongrak is impulsive, hedonistic, and tends to give into the emotions of the moment (something that, as the series develops, he does with increasingly self-sabotaging results; eg. when he lashes out at mahasamut after the 1st run in with prin or when he runs off to appease jak when he gets fearful in episode 9).

it also tells us that tongrak is very comfortable with his physical wants and needs. sure, mahasamut kinda flusters him because he awakens desires that are more intense than he's is used to, but tongrak's still grounded enough in his sense of self that he can roll with it pretty quickly and becomes an active, willing, even enthusiastic participant. (it's not going to be his physical desire that drives a wedge between them; its going to be the emotional connection that ends up being terrifying to tongrak.)

this episode also lays a ton of groundwork to set up why and how intensely mahasamut and tongrak are drawn to each other.

a lot of it, early on, is purely physical.

mahasamut and tongrak clock that they're compatible in their (D/s) kink immediately and they embrace this with gleeful abandonment. other people have made this point a lot more clearly than i could ever hope to (see @williamrikers excellent analysis of mutrak's kink dynamic), so i won't belabour the point, but i would like to point out how thoroughly the show wants the audience to know that these two are a perfect match physically and sexually (specifically with their particular kinks) and that they are incredibly comfortable with that.

(an aside: one thing i adore about peat's portrayal of tongrak's submissiveness in the beach scene is the way he starts out being the initiator in the kiss - in the gif above, it's tongrak that grabs mahasamut and yanks him into the kiss at first - but once its clear that mahasamut is on board, tongrak is almost constantly angled up, head tipped back, responding to mahasamut's cues but making no attempt to direct whats happening. there's so much surrender in the pliant way peat holds himself as they kiss and the way he goes from pulling mahasamut into the kiss to just clinging to his torso as he lets mahasamut take control. even when he reaches for mahasamut's dick, the second mahasamut pins him down and gives him an instruction, tongrak makes no attempt to redirect and just goes with what mahasamut wants. there's just such great detail in this portrayal of surrender.)

but what makes this encounter different (from the many, many other ones they've both had) is going to be how neither of them were able to keep this connection as purely physical for very long. (this is what episode 3 is for, though, so lets put a pin in that thought.)

back to insights into tongrak's character: we also get an escalation/confirmation about how tongrak views sex (and relationships) as purely transactional. tongrak's entire backstory is grounded in the idea that 'everybody has a price' because that's what his parents showed him. to tongrak, every human interaction is about finding the right things to give (usually money in his case) to get what he wants and this has allowed him to rationalise that feelings and emotions (both his own/the other person's) don't matter.

tongrak firmly believes that as long as he's offering something of sufficient (monetary) value, he's perfectly within rights to demand what he wants without consulting mahasamut's feelings, wants, or thoughts about the matter. in fact, he thinks of mahasamut as kind of an object for his sexual gratification and/or convenience. this is why he feels no remorse about kicking mahasamut out after they have sex even though mahasamut clearly wants to cuddle/come down from the physical high together. the next morning, it never pings to him that he should be guilty about how he treated mahasamut.

(look at his face. he's such an entitled diva. i love him so much.)

not only is this attitude - in reality - a very inaccurate way to view human beings (because as a species we are creatures very much led by our emotions), but it is the source of tongrak's own dissatisfaction and unhappiness. he never acknowledges any of his own emotional needs and so cannot manage or address them in a meaningful or healthy way.

so to summarise tongrak understands and is comfortable with his physical desires but does not know how to even acknowledge his emotional ones whilst impulsively being led by them in the heat of the moment: already we can see that this is a recipe for disaster and tells an unspoken story of pain and trauma.

(i also want to mention how well mahasamut continues to respond to tongrak's specific brand of caustic entitlement. he doesn't bother making a big deal about tongrak throwing money at him, but he also never names a price for his 'services' either. he blatantly refers to tongrak as his "owner" but also makes it clear that it's not tongrak's money that's keeping him around, but rather mahasamut's own desire for tongrak. it's like he'll act in tongrak's play but he won't quite stick to the script either. its so, so effective because he doesn't trigger tongrak's fight or flight response but he's still undermining and proving tongrak's assumptions wrong at every turn. this is what allows mahasamut to worm his way behind tongrak's walls whilst simultaneously chipping away at them.)

one last little bit of (this time non-sex-adjacent) insight into tongrak: he has a great capacity for compassion. (which will, eventually, turn into love.)

mahasamut, at this point, is mostly just an incredible lay to tongrak. but already he shows care and concern for mahasamut that's separate from what he can offer tongrak. he's concerned at a (relatively minor) hint that mahasamut has been mistreated in the past and then again concerned that mahasamut will suffer the repercussions of any hit to his reputation. [note: this is informed by a backstory regarding homophobia on the island that's from Khom/Connor's story in Love Sand, but even without that insight we can see tongrak's concern is for mahasamut.] (again, this is something the show is setting up to callback to later when tongrak gets offended on mahasamut's behalf when he thinks the waiter made fun of mahasamut.)

these little glimpses give us such a contrasting perspective on tongrak compared to episode 1, where he was mostly just a rich, entitled, and fairly unlikable character. we're being shown that what we've seen so far is really a mask as tongrak's true character slowly starts bleeding through as he has more interactions with mahasamut.

and then the episode closes on heartbreak: You're aware aren't you? Love is just a figment of our imagination.

tongrak's expression right before he says this is filled with resignation and disappointment. he hates that he has to say it but he feels its his duty to burst mahasamut's bubble. he genuinely believes this and so to him he's just doing mahasamut a favour by telling him a Truth about life. for us, this is the final crack in the mask and we see just how lost and fragile and hurt tongrak truly is.

(and the way peat sells this part - the cold almost clinical look in his eyes when he says the line. the tiny pout of his lips like tongrak can't help but feel sad about it, even though he accepts it as reality. the cold, flat tone peat uses to deliver the line when tongrak's usually quite expressive and uses lots of inflections and intonations in his speech. ugh <3)

but this is also really important because this is why we, the audience, start to care about tongrak. mame takes us on this journey, sets us up to wonder why tongrak's the main character when he starts out kinda of awful and then shifts the ground out from under us by showing us his soft, wounded underbelly. we can't help but want him to be loved, now, and this is why we become invested in 'tongrak mahasamut'.

[jojo-schmo]

hi jojo! im just wondering but ive been wanting to make a comic for a little while but im not too sure where to start 😅. i really love your style of art and your forgotten land roleswap, and i was wondering if you had any tips for beginners?

Hello, hello! Thank you for enjoying my Forgotten Land Roleswap comic, it means a lot! <3

I'm very honored that people have been asking me for tips and advice. All of this is coming from a hobbyist who draws these comics purely for fun outside of my regular day job. Some of my methods would probably deal psychic damage to a professional, LOL. But I'm more than happy to share some things I've personally learned! :)

First of all, the book, "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud ROCKS. It literally gave me a new dimension to understand the medium of comics and how it presents ideas and emotions to readers! And I haven't even had the chance to finish it all the way! I'm very happy I own a copy and I recommend having one of your own if you can, but it's archived here if you want to read it :D

I also like analyzing other comics and thinking about how they get information across to me as a reader. It's helped me learn more effective ways to visually tell a story, like what to include in a frame, how zooming in or out affects the feeling from the panel, maybe building a scene by focusing on other stuff if someone is talking a lot... etc.

ANYWAYS-! Some other tips I've learned through my personal experience-

I had to overcome a lot of negative self-talk in order to tackle a huge comic project like this and stay committed. I was a pretty severe self-deprecator for most of my life so far, and getting help has allowed me to catch myself when I'm slipping back into those habits, look in the mirror, and go, "NO, JOJO! You pour your heart into what you make and that is a wonderful thing! You are appreciated and loved and you deserve to have fun making something you are passionate about!!" Some examples of the negative self-talk I catch myself in....

"I'm a noob at writing and making a story interesting... What's the point of even trying?"

When it comes to starting a project, whether it's 2 pages or 2000 pages, is to just jump in and start! It's okay to be a little insecure or nervous about your technical art skills, writing skills, etc... But writing a "bad" scene is better than no scene- because you can always edit a "bad" scene down the line, but what can you do with nothing? Nothing!! I also put "bad" in quotation marks because I am trying to use that term less, and instead call them "early drafts." or "works in progress."

The first Roleswap scene I fleshed-out was the first Bandee boss fight, in May 2022. I made this drawing on an impulse, getting my ideas down on the page without thinking about the technical stuff like comic panel borders. I consider it like a "pilot episode" almost, haha. The final project is going to be very different from how things play out here. But it got me interested in the concept and excited to see where I could take it, and I made the decision to commit to an entire game plot's worth of AU comics!!

Also, what's the point in trying you ask? The point is to have fun! Making a fan comic in my free time means I don't have restrictions like deadlines, nobody's telling me what I can and can't write, and I can make the story as long or as short as I want! I have full control, which means the world I'm writing is all mine to create! Yes, with a fan comic there is a pre-established world with existing characters. But a universe like Kirby has enough open-ended concepts for people to take basic concepts in the world and take them to whole new levels! I think that's why there are so many amazing fan interpretations of Kirby characters and OCs. The rules are so vague, you can just make up your own a lot of the time!! And it's a wonderful exercise to learn skills for someday building an original world with all original characters from scratch! Magical!!!

"I'm not good enough to make a comic. I don't understand perspective or color and other stuff. Anything I make will look bad.

I once read a two panel comic on here. I can't find it anymore but I remember most of it. First panel showed the artist looking at what they're drawing on their tablet, looking defeated and sad. "Man, I don't even know how to draw this....."The next panel was like them smiling and shrugging, I think rainbows and sparkles were coming out of their tablet, ".....I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO DRAW IT SHITTY!! :D "

IF ANYONE KNOWS THIS COMIC I'M REFERENCING, PLEASE TELL ME AND I'LL LINK IT!!! Because it permanently and positively changed my brain chemistry.

No kidding, making the decision to just do my best even if it's not perfect, helped me a LOT. I was always waiting to "reach a certain level" to tackle a huge project because I felt like I'd never do it justice at my current state. Except I had been telling myself that kind of stuff for years and I still didn't start any projects!!

So the day I said, "Oh well! If I draw backgrounds shitty, then it is what it is! I'll learn from it and draw the next background a little better," Was the day I could commit fully to the project. I'll keep studying how to draw them better for my own benefit, but I won't let my skill issues stop me from even trying!

And for my limited confidence in full-color art, I solved that by making the comic in black and white with no-to-minimal shading lolol. Because I can only address one skill issue at a time before it takes me 25 years to finish this HAHAHA.

It saves a BUNCH of time to work with skill issues rather than against them! Because at least experience is gained in other ways, and who knows, maybe that new knowledge will help address the skill issues someday! So identifying your personal skill issues and deciding which one to try to grow stronger, and which one to work around, could help with big projects!

"Nobody will read this. I'm going to put months or years of my life into a dumb little thing nobody will even care about."

Learning how to draw for my own enjoyment instead of somebody else's was one of the biggest breakthroughs I ever made. Enjoying the feeling of being challenged artistically and just doing my best, even if it's not technically perfect, is the reason why I was even able to start this!

And just because someone doesn't directly like, comment or whatever on a post doesn't mean nobody saw it! I used to get really down on myself for the lack of engagement on my art on other websites.

I was a lurker for pretty much my entire teenage years and never posted my own stuff or commented much. But that didn't take away the fact that I really enjoyed the things I saw online. Those positive feelings were real to me, even when I didn't know how to articulate it in words. Granted, I grew up into a Words of Affirmation main, and I use words to tell people the positive things I think about them as much as I can! But I know not everyone prefers words to express themselves. So I think about the people that I don't know enjoy my work- that just because I don't see it doesn't mean I didn't make a positive impact on someone by sharing my stories.

THIS IS GETTING LONG-- UHHH, STORY TIPS!!

If you work best on technology, start building the story in a Notes app, or a Google Doc! If you work best with pen and paper, start a notebook and rearrange stuff as you need to!

Or if you're chaotic like me, a mix of tech and paper!! I bought a notebook with ring binding so I can remove and rearrange pages of drafts as much as I wanted to! Like here's two very rough concept pages of one Chapter 1 scene made months apart.

I'd say planning out the biggest basic plot points and then filling in between as I went was most helpful! I also have separate notes for character motivations, important story-changing events, etc... So I can have my own reference when I'm writing new scenes!

Okay this was a lot, sorry about the yapping! Hopefully it helps even a tiny bit. If you have any specific questions I'm happy to talk about my experience in the creation process! Or elaborate on anything I said above.

And finally, because I'm not a professional there are probably plenty of other tactics that could work better for some people. My ADHD probably doesn't help with the chaos of my process either, HAHA. But thank you for reading this far and enjoying the peek into the rainbow glitter and soap bubbles that inhabit the right side of my brain, heehee.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[ihatetaxes99]

Alrighty, fun theory time: What if Neito Monoma was actually brain-damaged?

I swear, this isn't a joke post, this is a genuine headcanon/theory I like to consider that possibly explains the... Sharp shift in his behaviour. Of course, it obviously isn't actually canon, I don't think anyone would believe that for a second, but it's an idea I like to ruminate upon. That said, time to elaborate:

It's no secret that when the character of Neito Monoma was introduced during the Sports Festival story arc of the Boku No Hero manga, he was rather different from his later portrayals.

Unless I'm forgetting something, this was the first proper panel introducing Monoma in the series:

As you can see, there were some... Changes later on down the line:

Anyone can tell that something happened here. Anyone who has a basic knowledge of the manga is aware that this second image is not an outlier. Monoma has been consistently portrayed as arrogant, over-the-top and borderline mentally unwell. There's clearly something wrong with this boy, this isn't just a kid being energetic.

Monoma in his initial appearance was clearly a bit underhanded, yes. He was a schemer, a trickster, almost like the heroes' version of Mr. Compress (I had to fit a reference to my G in there somehow) in how he relies on subterfuge and deception over raw strength; None of this translates to the psychopathic brat he became as early as the Training Camp arc. The question is, what happened to cause this? I mean, yeah, there are a few pretty good guesses as to why his personality was retconned out-of-universe (I've always taken an interest in the theory that his insanity was turned up to make Kendo's behaviour towards him seem more justified, somehow, and have her come off as less unlikeable, though there is also the popular theory that Bakugo's popularity had a hand in things as well, which I won't get into here), but that's boring. I am an Autist, and what I want is an in-universe explanation to use as my personal headcanon.

And so, we come to this delightful little panel:

Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) refers to a form of brain injury brought about by physical trauma or other damage caused sometime after birth, as opposed to genetic brain damage. As listed by the Scottish Acquired Brain Injury Network, symptoms of ABI can include:

Reduced motivation.

Reduced ability to initiate activity.

Reduced motivation.

Reduced empathy.

Emotional Lability

Reduced impulse control (i.e. reduced ability to control expression of emotions and behaviour).

Agitation.

Aggressive behaviour.

Impaired judgement.

Socially inappropriate behaviour.

Sexually disinhibited behaviour.

Reduced insight/awareness of the consequences of brain injury and its impact.

Obviously, not all of these symptoms are relevant to Monoma's case, but some - such as emotional lability, reduced impulse control, agitation, aggressive behaviour, impaired judgement and socially inappropriate behaviour - sound very familiar.

In short, it's proven that physical trauma to the head can very much influence and alter a person's personality, resulting in instability. And as we can see from the image, Bakugo very nearly blew Monoma's head off during the climax of the chariot battle. The way that his head snaps back is clearly indicative of receiving some sort of sharp blow.

And that is where the basis of my theory is formed. Neito Monoma starts out his UA career as a somewhat ambitious and devious, but intelligent and well put-together kid. Then, during the Sports Festival, he receives a severe blow to the head from Bakugo. Given the nature of UA's training regiment, it's even possible that he would sustain more injuries off-panel between the end of the Festival and his next appearance at the Training Camp, possibly even developing the situation into Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. And that's not even considering all of the times Kendo has been seen striking him hard enough to knock him out cold. We're also well aware of how lax UA is in regards to their medical care, with a kiss from Recovery Girl and a few days' rest typically being seen as the best way to deal with incidents. In this environment, Monoma's head trauma would go on to manifest itself in more and more personality defects, transforming him over time as his intellectual capabilities were diminished and his aggressive and socially unaware behaviour grew more and more pronounced. It puts a tragic spin on what is essentially a mishandled joke character, holding the lens to UA's negligent behaviour that the manga barely touched in any real depth.

Of course, as I said, obviously none of this is the case. Monoma was rewritten to be a joke after the Sports Festival and that is the long and short of it. There isn't really anything deeper going on there, not intentionally at least. But I like to dream. And I've really grown rather fond of this little headcanon.

[sillybruja]

roasting your moon sign pt 1. (Aries - Gemini) p.s. this one's gonna hurt your wittle feelings 🥲

Aries Moon

OH MY GOD. SHUUUUUUT UPPP. Seriously, you don't have an off button and talking to you is very frustrating. It's kind of like you jut like hearing yourself talk, which is fine, but the rest of us are suffering. And Holy lack of emotional regulation! When you are upset, you are really upset, eh? Seriously, you cannot control your emotional reactions even if you tried your hardest. If you feel triggered, you have to let the whole room hear about it 🙄And one more thing -- why do you think speaking louder makes your argument valid? It's kind of like listening to a toddler start screaming because crying was not getting their mom's attention good enough. It's fine to have emotional outbursts once in a while, but try to remember you're an adult, not a six-year-old. Communication takes more than scream-crying until you are heard / get your way. Btw, y'all are some of the most delulu people out there! It's like, everyday is a rollercoaster for you emotionally and you kidnapped the rest of us to have to suffer with you. Yeah, that's right, you can be insufferable and the people around you feel it. Are you even aware of that, though? Or are you more focused on creating a narrative that makes you the victim? Your lack of impulse control is a whole other thing. We get that you react first and think last, but to have the audacity to blame others for your decisions/actions is wild. Oh you punched a wall? No, that person didn't make you do that, you did that. Oh, you're insecure so you acted out of character? No actually, it's not their fault because they are secure with themselves. It's all on you. Guess what? Accountability is not the same as being held at g*npoint. You will not die. You will not wither away. You are actually wrong a lot and that's fine, but you don't have to be such a tool about taking responsibility. It gives everyone in your life the ick, and people are probably tired of walking on egg shells around you. 🤷‍♀️

Moon in 1st House:

Okay, drama Queen/King!🙄😅Besides the fact that you literally wear your heart on your sleeve, you are also so dramatic and for what, special effect? Seriously, you emotionally respond to things with the same voracity and urgency as you would an actual emergency. You can literally stub your toe and have a meltdown over it, saying that was your "13th reason" likeee y'all are D R A M A T IC and because I also have this placement, I know it's because it actually feels really dramatic but tbh it's not that deep. You just feel too deeply which is fine but guess what? You're still responsible for your emotions, no one else is. You sacrifice your power too often looking for acceptance and love, and then expect the people who you give said power, to reciprocate the same energy but they never do because what you are really expecting from them is you and that's pretty messed up tbh. You gotta let people be! your attachment issues are showing. BTW, being the sacrificial lamb in every situation does not actually gain you aura points, it just makes it obvious that you lack boundaries. The People around you take advantage of you because 9/10 times, you have made it pretty clear very early on that taking advantage of your kindness can be easy to do. Its insane that people have projected on you your whole life, and yet, you still can't detect when its happening. People are not mean to you because they hate you lol but the fact that you make everything about yourself makes it even easier for these people to project their problems onto you. Why wouldn't they? You are all consuming, and you take on the responsibility of everyone's actions, making yourself a stomping ground for ab*se. Your problem is, you are looking to find you in everyone and you will constantly be disappointed because that's something you will not find. Learn to be comfortable with others showing you how they feel, and accept it for what it is instead of for what you want it to be. Your scope of other's emotions needs work -- there's a whole universe outside of your own mind. You gotta learn to consider others emotional needs and try to walk in the shoes of other people once in a while and you will see that not everything is not in relation, caused by, or about you. Also, you have the same emotional regulation as a toddler sometimes. Stop making your problems, everyone's problems. Go to therapy.

Taurus Moon

OKAAAAAY, SLOTH. How do you expect to have the rich bitch bougee life you keep creating pinterest boards about if you won't even get off the couch and take small steps to reach those goals? Queen of "manifestation", all things "come to me naturally". Can we cut the bs and call a spade, a spade? You are lazy. You know deep deep down that you have the gift of the moon as your placement's exalted, but you have proven so many times that you prefer comfort over work. You're sitting there, waiting for the universe to deliver all the things you want in life, but your uninspired, bland, lazy ass won't even break a sweat for half of what you want in this world. YOU are the reason you do not seem to accomplish as much as you want to, because you do not challenge yourself. Do you feel incapable? I would if I'd rather live in repetitive and tired routines instead of challenging myself to grow. Speaking of growth.... do you even know what that is? Or are you still holding the same opinions of people that you had in middle school? Guess what, people grow and change... it is time to catch up! Why are you more comfortable with clinging onto the past, especially onto an old way of thinking? How is that actively helping your life? Be so for real. You cling & obsess over the past because its easier to revictimize yourself & build resentment than it is to take responsibility and make changes. Why is it more comfortable being stubbornly wrong, instead of owning up to your ways?

Moon in 2nd House

STAY OUT OF MY WALLET & GET A JOB! Seriously -- for someone who needs & craves financial stability, you sure will do a whole lot of nothing to get it. It's so weird because you manage to do absolutely nothing, and the people around you end up picking up your tab. What's it like being the community leech? And another thing... why is it that you feel you only have value when the 'yes men' around you over compliment you, or give you attention? Why is it that you cannot regulate your sense of self worth, but instead need to feed your self-esteem through manipulation, clinginess, and insecurity? Your relationships are probably prone to being unstable because of this. You are too much. Your expectations are too much, and they do not even match what you are willing to give back. You can't expect other people to pour from an empty cup just because You can't seem to fill your own. Your erratic self-esteem issues have an impact on your closest loved ones but your mindset is in the gutter because of how harshly you cling onto old mindsets and negative beliefs. Your greediness is not justified, no matter how much you have been hurt. You seem to never take your pain out in a healthy way, or on the person who actually inflicted the pain. If people come too close, you automatically assume there's alternative motives, even if there's no reason to think that. You act more like an 8H moon in your lowest vibration, and ironically enough, you are "triggered" and angry with other people who act this way. Your self-awareness is probably is as little as your confidence because you seem to live in your own bubble, and cannot understand how your own projections you put on other people are hurtful and make you look very weak. Your people pleasing tendencies will never grant you the stability you seek and until you take accountability, responsibility, and action to secure the life/lifestyle you want for yourself, you will always think shrinking yourself through people pleasing equals safety. But ya know, BE DELULU.

Gemini Moon

OHMYGOD CAN YOU SHUTTHEFUCKUP?! Yes, your friends do think you are annoying as fuck. It's because you never know when to STFU. And the worst part? It's not like you don't know you talk a lot... you do. you know you can dominate a conversation like no other. You are aware of the snotty asshole you sound like when you articulate and use word play to your advantage, and you don't care lol. If you're not that person, you're the opposite - you're weird af, you still never shut up, you have weird af obsessions, collections, and stories, and chances are you're easily forgotten about 😅 You share random facts with your friends all the time and at first it was really funny but because you never know when to stop, your friends are over it. When you talk, they sigh. It's because being your friend is exhausting. It's always the GEMINI MOON SHOW!!!! and you never give them (or anyone) the space to express themselves. You think you know what everyone wants and because you are lowkey controlling, you make decisions for others -- can you be any fuckin' worse? No wonder people don't really like hanging out with you lol. By the way, you are so dense. For being a mercury ruled moon, you would think you'd be better at reading people and yet, you constantly miss the red flags in others. What's it like being a door mat? It's like you know they hurt you, you know they are sus, and you don't care. LOL btw y'all are really big cry babies and so sensitive sometimes. You'd think that being a gemini moon would make you easy going, but you walk around and act like you have a stick up your ass. Your submissive nature is 10000% your decision but you have this talent of blaming other people for why you have codependency issues, let's call you the King/Queen of Projection. You act out, you push people away, you start fights and for what? For people to pay attention to you? lol that's sad. Why do you feel you are only worthy of getting attention when there's controversy? When you act out of character? Is it because you feel like no one cares about what you have to say unless you're being the worst version of yourself? Is that why you are so skilled at wearing masks with people? Maybe if you spent more time figuring your shit out, spending more time with yourself, and less time giving a fuck about others, you'd be able to heal the identity you shattered trying to morph into whatever everyone else wanted you to be. Basically, FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE SO YOU CAN STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO SECURE PEOPLE.

Moon in 3H

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! You wishy-washy bitch you lol. (pls don't take this seriously this is a roast ok? ily) But fr, who even are you? Because you switch up your entire personality depending on the group of people you're around. You think no one notices this but I promise you they do and they're tired of your shit. A lot of people probably find you unreliable because you also seriously lie...over dumb things too? Like, who lies about what they had for breakfast? Pfft. This need to maintain a certain level of "mystery" is actually kinda cringe because you are actually so transparent. Also, you do realize you cause a lot of your own problems, right? No one can drive people away better than you can, huh? :) Your need for banter and excitement is all fun and games until it became really fucking annoying. People do not like to constantly be poked and picked at and tested. Especially if you think you're some prize to win over. Speaking of being some prize... your ego though? It's like to feel intelligently superior, your say a whole lot of nothing polished in purple prose to humiliate others. Imagine being so insecure with yourself that you feel the need to verbally tear down the ones who are just plain doing better than you in life. Your problem is that you spend so much time focusing on the people around you, wanting to gain their approval, wanting to be the center of attention, that you actually end up losing sight of your identity and you become this annoying asshole 😅🙈 By the way, you definitely do talk soooo much shit about people, and yes it is so unnecessary. MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED YAPPIN YOUR TRAP ABOUT PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T ALWAYS LEAVE YOU or fantasize about leaving you for your much hotter family member, sibling, or friend 🤭

Pt. 2-4 are coming x