#i have no idea what you're talking about
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chaoticghostartist · 5 months ago
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transbiankitty · 18 days ago
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As much as I love kinky, depraved sex that makes us say and do filthy things, I feel like we don't often enough openly point out that it's a scene. I can't actually get any sort of addiction to that cock's smell, those titles we use like mommy or sis are only titles for fun, and me licking your feet or getting my girlcock stepped on are all part of that scene. Too many of us take the kink for granted, or assume it's all there is, and to me, that's a damn shame. If you haven't in a few weeks or months, let this be your sign. Just enjoy some plain, vanilla sex. Let your affirmations and praise to your partner be free of the veil of pet names. Remind them that you love them, not just an (albeit willingly) sexualized, kink-ified version of themself
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tapakah0 · 1 year ago
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So YOU are the reason my phone was blowing up with notifications when I checked it after work lol. #worth it
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mellonyheart · 10 months ago
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Oh come on! Levi did that on purpose!
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I mean... you see it too right?! I can't be the only one?!
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There also seems to be a blooming rose here 💗🌹
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azalea4u · 3 months ago
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You ever just make children of your character x oc ship LMAOOOO
Short info of them below the cut hehe
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luyo-mi · 10 months ago
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I never noticed but is that spongebob licking Leona's feet?
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ⁿᵒ
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only-lonely-stars · 4 months ago
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Friendship and Fauna
Oneshot – (FFN) (AO3)
Written for the 2023 @ninjago-calendar project, for the month of October! Check out the future calendars on their blog. (Click here for their post about the 2023 Calendar, including the artwork which goes along with this oneshot.)
Summary:
On a cool autumn day, Sensei Garmadon takes the Ninja team (plus Nya) out on a nature walk. Hijinks and various lessons ensue. Post-season 2, pre-season 3.
It was a cool autumn day when Sensei Garmadon gathered the Ninja together. Under the aspens, golden with the turning of the seasons, he called them together in the courtyard of the Monastery of Spinjitzu and spoke to the group.
“Well, Ninja. I’m sure you’re all curious as to why I’ve called you here.”
The Ninja looked at each other in confusion. Jay shrugged. “No idea, Sensei.”
Garmadon smiled. “Look around you. It’s autumn!” He gestured at a great aspen tree, whose branches bent over the monastery wall and was shedding leaves one by one onto the cobblestones. “The leaves are turning gold. The wind is clean, the sky is clear.” He grinned at the teenagers standing before him. “Have any of you been out in nature recently?”
The Ninja looked around conspicuously– Kai whistled a ditty, Nya crossed her arms, and Zane simply smiled. No one said a word.
Garmadon chuckled and shook his head. “I thought so. Bundle up! We are going on a walk, and if I can, I will teach you a new lesson. It’s about time you had some more training.”
~✧~✧~✧~
After a relatively short time, the six were assembled again in suitably warm clothes. Zane in particular seemed to be enjoying the chance to wear a sweater vest with his favorite pink button-up shirt. Kai seemed happy enough to bundle up, even though he boasted to anyone who would hear about how he couldn’t possibly be cold– he was the Red Ninja, he controlled fire! He didn’t get cold.
As the group waited for Sensei Garmadon to return, Jay and Cole both tugged at a black scarf that Jay had been wearing previously. The tussle continued until Cole let go, allowing the scarf to fall and Jay to fall back on the ground. He yelped, rubbing his rear and wincing. “Hey, Cole! That was mean!”
Cole laughed, casually picking up the scarf and draping it around his neck. “Whoops. Get your own scarf!”
“I told you, I lost it! One of the kids probably stole it,” Jay sulked, crossing his arms pettily. “It was my favorite shade of blue, too.”
“Oh yeah? Why would someone want to steal your scarf this early in the year?” Cole laughed. “Maybe you just put it somewhere and forgot about it, like your gloves last year.”
“Oh, sure, keep on bringing up the past! When I get my hands on you–”
“Come on! What are you boys arguing about now?” Nya asked, coming up behind Cole and elbowing him. “It’s time to go.”
“Oh, Nya, I–” Jay stammered, blinking a few times as he stared up at her. “Is… is that my scarf?”
Nya looked down in surprise. “Is it? I found it in a box in the coat closet.”
“Uh… yeah! That’s cool!” He grinned. “You look good in it– you should keep it!”
“Uh…” She looked down at it. “Thanks? If it’s yours, you can have it back…”
“No, seriously!” Jay got up, brushing himself off. “Keep it!”
Cole grinned, slinging an arm around Jay’s shoulders. “Okay, motor mouth. Let’s just get going. Sensei wants to teach us something.”
As the three approached the rest of the group, they spotted Sensei Garmadon, Kai, and Lloyd having a heated discussion.
Kai sighed, shaking his head in dismay. “Lloyd, are you really going to wear just that?”
“What?” Lloyd looked at Kai, tucking his flannel shirt around himself defensively. “I’m warm enough!”
“Come on, Lloyd. It’s fifty degrees out there! You need more layers than that.”
“Kai, I’m fine.”
“Garmadon said–”
“I’m fine!”
Sensei Garmadon sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in mild frustration. “Son, Kai is right. You will be cold if you just wear a flannel.”
“We’re going to be walking. I’ll be too hot if I wear a jacket.”
“A thin jacket can be tied around your waist, if need be.” Garmadon took a white coat off a nearby rack, offering it to his son. “How about this one?”
“Uh, no. That’s Zane’s.”
“Don’t you boys all share clothes?”
“No? Zane’s like, six inches taller than me. It won’t fit.”
Garmadon sighed, setting it down. “Fine. How about a sweatshirt of yours?”
“I don’t own any.”
“None?” He looked at the other Ninja. “Did none of you make sure Lloyd has some sort of layer?”
The other five shared a look, quiet until Cole spoke for the group. “We thought he had one, Sensei.”
Garmadon sighed heavily, shaking his head in disappointment. “I see none of you were taught to dress for the weather.”
Lloyd sighed. “Dad, can we just go? Really, I’ll be fine.”
“Fine. We will go, with you dressed as inadequately as you are.” Garmadon fixed his son with a stern look. “And no complaining.”
Lloyd grinned and saluted. “You got it, Dad! No complaining.”
~✧~✧~✧~
With all else equal, it was a beautiful day for a walk. The birds were singing their autumn songs. The trees sported their fiery hues, withdrawing their strength for the long winter ahead. Best of all, the seasons hadn’t quite turned to the point of the brisk, chilling winds of the boreal north. Mid-autumn was in full swing, and all of creation proclaimed their beauty.
Under the light of such a bright day, the team of seven began their walk into the forest. Jay and Nya held each other’s hand, swinging them back and forth with every step. Cole was nestled comfortably inside his thick hoodie, enjoying its fluffy lining and cozying into his black scarf. At the back of the group, Zane held his dendrology guide in one hand and his ornithology reference in the other, checking them for various species as he noticed them. At the front of the group, Kai and Lloyd walked just behind Garmadon, jostling each other good-naturedly. Together they made for an interesting sight, but there was not another soul on the trail to witness.
After they had walked a short distance, Garmadon stopped the group and gestured at the path before them, which forked left and right “May I have your attention, please?”
The six teenagers stopped and looked at him, pausing in their conversations. Cole cleared his throat. “What’s the problem, boss?”
“There is no problem.” Garmadon gestured to the fork. “Which way would you like to go?”
The ninja turned to look at each other, each of them shrugging in turn. “Where do they go?”
“Well, that’s a good question to start with.” Garmadon gestured to the sign at the trailhead. “Left, and we go into the thicker tree cover. Right, and we go along the ridge toward the creekside. Which looks more promising?”
Cole turned to the rest of the group, one eyebrow raised. “What do you say we go right? We should go see the creek.”
“What about the walk back?” Nya frowned. “But it does sound pretty… I guess we should take a look.”
“And get tired on the way back?” Jay shook his head. “Nuh-uh. No way. I say we should go left.”
“Sure, let’s go left.” Kai grinned. “That way I can set all the fires I want!”
“Oh yeah? In your dreams, Kai!”
“What’s that, firefly? I can’t hear you!”
“It’s lightning bug, you jerk!” Jay let go of Nya’s hand, stepping toward Kai. “Lightning! Bug!”
“Firefly.” He crossed his arms defiantly. “Fire. Fly.”
“Lightning bug!”
“Firefly!”
“Argh!” Jay balled his hands into fists. “C’mere! I’m gonna get you!”
“Catch me if you can!” Kai laughed, running toward the left path. “Firefly!”
“I will!” Jay ran after him, prompting Kai to run along the path. “Get back here!”
“Wh– Jay, Kai!” Nya called out. When they didn’t respond, she sighed. “What now?”
“Uh… maybe we should go after them,” Lloyd suggested. “They might get lost.”
Sensei Garmadon chuckled. “They will be fine. These two paths converge. We will meet up with them later; they may run along if they like.”
“I dunno, Sensei. I think I should follow them,” Nya mumbled. “They might get hurt.”
“Be my guest, Nya, but do not feel obligated.” Garmadon gestured to the left path. “If you wish, follow them. I believe the rest of us will take the right path.”
“Okay, sure.” She smiled at Garmadon and tied Jay’s scarf a little more tightly around her neck. “I guess I’ll see you guys later!”
Lloyd waved as she started jogging down the trail. “Bye, Nya!”
After the three had disappeared from view, Cole chuckled. “Well, that narrows down the group. Are we going right, then?”
“Yes, I believe we are.” Garmadon shook his head in amusement. “Shall we?”
~✧~✧~✧~
After a short while, the group (sans Kai, Jay, and Nya) stopped a large clearing. A slope led up to a grassy area, ringed by tall trees. Aspens, birches and maples towered over the clearing, and a layer of yellow leaves covered the forest floor as the maples’ red foliage clung for just a little longer. From somewhere nearby, the sound of trickling creekwater filled the silence, and the occasional rustling from squirrels and deer kept the Ninja from thinking they were truly alone. Through it all, a cool breeze blew, and Lloyd shivered.
Cole glanced at the younger boy, snickering quietly. "You okay there, bud? You look cold."
"I'm fine." Lloyd crossed his arms, smiling at Cole. "Not cold!"
"You sure?”
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Lloyd grinned, shivering a little more. "Honestly."
"Uh-huh." Cole smiled, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I think you’re lying.”
“I’m not lying!” Lloyd protested, though he didn’t fight Cole’s hug. “It’s just chilly out.”
“Yeah, I know.” Cole ruffled his hair. “Tell you what. Take my hoodie.”
“What? But then you’ll be cold!” Lloyd shook his head. “I won’t take it.”
“You sure? I’m too warm, really. You see me?” Cole gestured to himself. “I’ve got enough insulation on my own, bud.”
“I– but…” Lloyd hesitated. “I guess I’m a little cold.”
“There ya go! That’s enough for me.” Cole let him go, tugging off his hoodie in one smooth motion. “Let’s get you bundled up.” Lloyd hesitated, but Cole handed it to him insistently. “Put it on.”
“I… okay.” Lloyd sighed, clumsily putting it on. He took a moment to find the arms and neck, but when he finally got it straight, it slipped on easily. The garment was at least two sizes too large for him, and it hung from his lanky frame with loose material in just about every area. Even so, it was still warm, and he smiled as he wrapped it a little more tightly around himself. “Thanks, Cole.”
“Hey, no problem.” Cole grinned, ruffling his hair again. “Sensei, do we need to keep going?”
“No, wait.” Zane held up a hand. “Be quiet.”
The rest looked at him expectantly. Lloyd briefly scanned the canopy. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No, look. There’s a hawk above us.” Zane smiled, slowly pointing up.
Sure enough, in one of the birches above him, a dark shape rested. A bird of prey, not small of stature, sat on a branch bereft of leaves. Its sharp beak, honed for predation, gave it a characeristic silhouette against the sky. It watched them, tracking their movements with its bright yellow eyes. 
After a moment, the bird’s eyes rested on Zane, and he watched in silence. Zane returned the gesture, taking in the brown and tan bands of color across its wings and tail.
“It’s a mountain hawk-eagle,” Garmadon commented quietly. “Good catch, Zane.”
“I didn’t know Nisaetus nipalensis was common to this area,” Zane muttered. “Birds this size aren’t often found at such a low elevation.”
“That’s true. This specimen must have a reason for being here, hawks are not common fauna in our region.” Garmadon glanced at the others with a smile. “Do you see what Zane has found, simply by paying attention?”
Cole shrugged. “It’s a cool bird. What’s special about it?”
“It’s a rarity here, Cole, to see this species. That is what is special. Of course, Zane has always been good with birds.” Garmadon looked to his son. “Lloyd, what can you learn from this encounter?”
Lloyd frowned. “That you know a lot about birds?”
“Aha, yes. That is true. I spent several years studying birds in great detail after my apprenticeship to Chen ended. What else?”
“That Zane knows about birds too?”
“Yes, but did you not already know that? Zane is knowledgeable about many things, birds are no exception. You’re not seeing something.”
“I… don’t know.” Lloyd shook his head. “Something important, I’m guessing.”
“Something about the forest we are in, and the animals within it.” His father smiled, glancing up at the hawk. “Lloyd, to find a bird of prey this size in this forest means that this forest is healthy. Animal life is abundant here. Just like the tracks and traces we are seeing, or the deer, this hawk-eagle is proof that small animal life is also thriving. If it weren’t abundant, this bird would have nothing to eat.” Garmadon gestured at the forest around them. “All life in this forest interacts with all other life. They foster each other’s growth and success, sometimes dying in the process. We are the same.”
“I don’t know, Sensei. Isn’t that kind of a stretch?” Cole crossed his arms. “We’re not animals. The forest doesn’t need ninja.”
“Of course not. It needs people. Whether you’re a ninja or not, you can cut down a tree or hunt an animal. You can learn from the animals and derive what you need from them, just the same as this bird.” 
“Sensei,” Zane interjected quietly. “Look.”
Garmadon turned. The hawk, having spotted Zane, was shifting on its branch. It flapped its wings, clearly restless.
“What is it doing?” Zane asked, gaze fixed on the bird. “I do not recall my falcon behaving in such a way.”
“Maybe it is trying to get more comfortable… I do not know.”
“I think… it wants to fly down here, Sensei.”
“Maybe it does.” Garmadon smiled. “Why don’t you let it perch on your arm?”
Zane smiled, reaching out his arm. The bird seemed to register the change, ruffling its feathers. “Hello, my feathered friend. Would you like to come down here?”
Surely enough, the bird extended its wings and flapped– once, twice. It hopped to the edge of the branch, prompting Zane to smile a little wider. Then, in a flash, it spread its wings and swooped down, coming to land on his arm.
Lloyd laughed. “Wait, that’s it?”
“Apparently.” Zane chuckled softly, carefully reaching out to the bird with his free hand. It examined his hand, turning its head slightly. “Hello, friend. Nice to meet you.”
The bird nodded slightly, clicking its beak together a few times. It eyed the group, and when it saw Garmadon, it chirped.
Garmadon laughed. “Hello to you too. What do you have to say?”
The bird chirped again, looking at Zane next. It hopped along his arm, re-adjusting its purchase on his arm with its sharp talons. When he did not flinch, it chirped again.
Zane smiled, gently stroking the feathers on its back. “Do you find this amenable, my friend? You are an interesting creature.”
Lloyd and Cole shared a glance, both snickering. Cole cleared his throat before speaking. “Uh, tin can? Are you sure he can understand you?”
“I don’t suppose why he shouldn’t.” Zane looked at Cole, his expression completely serious. “Do you think he does not understand me?”
“Uh, I dunno man. He’s a bird. He doesn’t speak Ninjargon.”
“Yet he does not seem to misunderstand my body language.” Zane cracked a smile. “He knows we mean no harm. Would you like to say hello?”
“I’m good, thanks.” Cole elbowed Lloyd gently. “Do you want to say hi to the bird?”
“Ha, I’m good. Thanks.” Lloyd grinned. “This one’s all yours, Zane.”
“As you wish.” Zane chuckled, glancing at the peaceful bird resting on his arm. “Thank you for your visit.” When the bird chirred, he stroked its feathers again, noting how it shifted. “You may continue your hunting, friend. May you be successful.”
The bird chirred again, watching him carefully. After a long moment of staring, it spread its wings, readying for takeoff. Then, in a flash, it kicked off his arm, pushing it down as it took flight.
The group watched as the hawk ascended, rapidly propelling itself toward the top of the forest canopy. Zane waved. After a minute, it was completely obscured from view.
Cole laughed. “Kai and Jay are never gonna believe this.”
~✧~✧~✧~
“Whaaaaat!? We missed a cool bird?” Jay whined.
“Jay, it’s fine.” Kai shook his head dismissively. “You know Zane befriends every animal he sees.”
“Yeah, but this was a rare bird! And we missed it!”
“Yes, I know that,” Kai hissed.
“Knock it off, you two,” Nya interjected with a sign. “You really don’t know how to behave.”
“Hey, we know just fine, thank you very much! Besides, don’t you remember that I was the one who taught you?” Kai grinned at his sister, elbowing her in the ribs. “Respect your elders.”
“Hey, Sensei’s my elder, not you.” Nya grinned at Garmadon. “Not trying to call you old.”
Garmadon laughed. “Please, I’m well aware that I am old. What was it again? One thousand, two hundred and forty-three years this past April?”
Cole laughed. “Wow, gramps. You’re still counting?”
“When you get to my age, it would be a shame to stop.” Garmadon smiled at Lloyd, who grinned back. “After all, being around you Ninja makes any man feel young again.”
“Aw, yeah? We make you feel young?” Jay preened. “So we must be the best Ninja ever! Totally super cool!”
Kai laughed, grabbing Jay in a headlock. “Not you, zaptrap!”
“Hey, lemme go Kai!” Jay protested, pushing against Kai’s arms as Kai pressed his knuckles into Jay’s hair and gave him a noogie. “Get off of me!”
“Not until you say uncle!”
“Ow! Never!”
As the two wrestled, Zane sighed and shook his head in amusement. “Some things do not change…”
“Of course not. Youth is the same as it has always been.” Garmadon turned to Zane, smiling. “Perhaps it is time to end the lesson. What have you learned during this walk?”
“Well, plenty about the native flora and fauna, to begin.” Zane glanced down at his guidebook. “I suppose I could have learned that from a book, but nothing replaces the experience of discovery.”
“Certainly. What else?”
“Oh, oh, oh!” Jay cried out, successfully pulling himself out of Kai’s grip– complete with messy hair that stuck out every which way. “That the forest is really cool!”
“Yes, that too. What else?”
“The creek was pretty nice, as far as creeks go.” Cole shrugged. “It’s cool to see that this forest has predators in it still.”
“Yeah, so far people haven’t screwed it up that badly,” Nya added. “No matter what they try.”
“It was cold,” Lloyd mumbled, pulling Cole’s hoodie closer against himself.
“Yes, we will have to take you shopping.” Garmadon smiled, putting an arm around Lloyd’s shoulders. “There you have it, Ninja. A successful nature walk, and a few small lessons that were not too overbearing. You’re free to go now, if you want.”
“Well, sure.” Kai shrugged. “But this place is kind of cool… it would be a shame to just leave.”
“So let’s stick around! I brought food!” Nya gestured at her car. “It’s all in the trunk.”
“Oh, score! Picnic!” Cole cheered. “You’re the best, Nya!”
Nya blushed faintly, smiling at the compliment. “Thanks. Let’s get to it!”
With all decisions made, the Ninja made for their vehicles. The cool wind still blew, the trees’ falling leaves rustled, and all the forest kept its autumn vigil. 
Later that afternoon, a few snowflakes began to fall. As the Ninja joked and laughed over their meal, a faint cry of a hawk was heard from within the forest. Soon, the coming year would bring much hardship– a returning enemy, a new army, and the loss of a friend– but it would not be without its joys. Until then, the six friends and their teachers enjoyed their short-term peace and bliss.
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goodoneguys · 4 months ago
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watching monsters vs aliens is such a weird watching experience now that I'm older. I remember, for some bizarre reason, actively hating it as a kid (i have no idea why, i think i thought is was weird) and coming back to it all these years later is so weird. i didn't realize just how much link and dr cockroach were simping (so very hard) over susan. they're both just like, "omg strong and tall woman. i'm in love😍😍" like bro, how is her fiancé NOT sipming over her. she is a very tall and very strong woman that can carry you virtually anywhere and you still want to be a weather reporter??? get your priorities in check man like wtf
also bob. i love bob
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imminent-danger-came · 2 months ago
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you’re a dirty fucking doxxer and almost made one of my favorite accounts get deleted
how could you be so callous you sick fucking freak
I believe you have the wrong blog sir
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Are you related to those two pretentious imbeciles from Seattle? The one with the radio show and the one married to that dreadful heiress?
?????????????????????????????
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avernusfuries · 6 months ago
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“Watching a mutual just answer -“ BITCH YOU ARE THAT MUTUAL
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dirtybiowareconfessions · 2 years ago
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Confession: That Anders fancam video set to Lady Gaga's "Judas" on Twitter awakens such an unholy thirst in me. I want to ride Anders' dick.
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monty-glasses-roxy · 9 months ago
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Cassie from fnaf ruin and clover from undertale yellow both have on thing I common.
They both went looking for the missing people.
Cassie. Goes looking for missing Gregory.
Clover. goes looking for the five missing humans.
Both dont use common sense and stay out of the gaint hole in the ground that leads into the underground!
So here my swap au idea. For fnaf ruin and undertale yellow.
Instead of roxy and cassie. For fanf au. It would be clover and martlet. For roxy and cassie
Ceroba is chica.
and north star is glamrocks Monty.
Chujin is glamrocks bonnie.
For the fnaf undertale yellow.
I see Roxy being martlet. Cassie is clover. Chica Ceroba. Monty. Is north star or starlos.
That's cool!
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tgirlfoxtail · 2 years ago
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no. beats you up. its good
what do you mean by its. are you okay. also +PARRY +FRIENDLY FIRE +EXPLODED
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humblemooncat · 1 year ago
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My brain and body have been fighting me this past week and I am t i r e d. But I've at least gotten decent amounts of sleep the past couple days so I feel motivated enough to post again.
That said, I have nothing recent to share, but I do have these Fray glam pics I never shared here, as well as my favorite thing about being a min height lalafell. xD
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"Momodi, that is all well and good, but do you have an extra stool back there?"
He's so tiny. A manlet. Barely reaches the top of the counter. I love. xD
I'll hopefully have more Coco to post later, as he's become a recent fave. As well as more Ki'to because I love my pretty kitty and I haven't taken shots of him in a while.
I'll also get to any tagged posts later today! I promise I've seen them, was just waiting till my mind was coherent enough to post again! o/
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helicrazy · 1 year ago
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Stolen from @wild-at-spark
Do yours here
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