#i have no idea if theres anyone else
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
vix-png · 1 year ago
Text
I HAVE THOUGHTS TO SHARE.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
THEM AND THEIR hypothetical POKEMON TEAM (i would like to hear other people's thoughts because i am unsure and i plan to post this on the subreddit eventually)
explanations under the cut (its gonna be extensive so be prepared) (this has been rotting in my brain for a while)
KYBORG
he has a secret soft spot for his pokemon, if they faint or get injured he worries really badly
he likes to bond with them during training :D he pesters the others for pokemon battles
umbreon, poochyena - i feel like they kinda just have the same 'mysterious, dark' vibes that kyborg wants to have has!! but funnily enough, they're not as scary as they seem. very affectionate!! like dogs!! kyborg loves them
riolu - okay so think with me here.. riolu/lucario can read auras and emotions and so they know that kyborg isnt a bad person and they know when he's trying to mask his emotions ??!!???? so riolu would be understanding of him n they'd be pretty close
also i'd just like to think riolu (and the rest of his pokemon) enjoy battling alongside kyborg
scorbunny/froakie - when i see these pokemon i think of athleticism and/or dexterity and i couldn't decide between the two :'3
scorbunny/froakie would go on runs / exercise with kyborg, they have a similar personality type where they're both brash, energetic, enthusiastic and they click easily like that!!
though i imagine froakie is more calculated in battles compared to scorbunny whos more impulsive
alolan vulpix - SPOILERS FOR EP 33 (?)
this vulpix, alongside hannibal (perhaps a dragonair) and gumbo (the linoone), was fighting against .. lets say abomasnow?
and during that fight lets say gum gum and kyborg interfered by sending out their pokemon and assisting in the battle n kyborg became really fond of the vulpix and decided to keep him as a per
WHY alolan vulpix? idk i think it'd be fitting since kyborg has some ties to snow and ice and also because i believe the region they were in during that arc was snowy !!1
BART
he performs little shows with his lute and his pokemon!! and he also occasionally has pokemon battles
he loves his pokemon dearly tbh and i feel like all of them appreciate music in some way :3!!
pikachu - one of the pokemon he's owned for a long time! his pikachu particularly is quite fond of his trainer and his quirks n music, it helped the crew during the time bart was on the jebediah!!
i have no explanation for this one actually but a fun thought is that pikachu would evolve into an alolan raichu (look at the little guy surf!!) and this would mean that bart would live in the alolan region so who knows honestly... LISTEN HE JUST HAS A PIKACHU
chatot - a gift from marrrge to bart, passed down because the two started to bond while on the ship. they sang together n marrrge could tell they really had potential so boom kapow wachow
ALSO ABOUT THE MIMICKI NG THING chatot can mimic voices (from what i remember) and i think it'd be funny if it mimicked kyborg like the kenkus from that one library and it annoys kyborg to no bounds
mantine - caught during his time on the ship! mantine sometimes swim near ships in little packs and i suppose this one took a liking to bart, and bart was pretty fond of it as well :D not much to say here except for the fact its a silly little water guy
tauros - bart got like.. a baby auroch or something right?? idk i forgot but either way he is (weirdly) fond of beastly bulls and i suppose a tauros is a good substitute
i also like to imagine bart likes mounting (strange wording) his pokemon since it just means he doesn't have to walk much and he likes being a bit higher up than he usually is n tauros (and maybe mantine) are good for that
would he own the notorious pokemon? that is but a thought left for the audience.
GUM GUM
he's weirdly lucky, seems to have a good chance at finding shiny pokemon and other rare things
wonder why
anyways, his pokemon r kinda just companions that he likes to hug and hang out with :) occasionally he does battle with them
floette - flower buddy!!! i'd like to think that gum gum likes to spend time in flower fields when he has the chance and the one thing he's honestly pretty knowledgeable in is flowers
so he might've met a flabebe or a floette and they became buddies! he had no idea it was a shiny until maybe one of the party members mentioned it
bulbasaur - okay so i struggled on this decision but then it came to me that bulbasaur is PERFECT idk they have the same vibes and it eventually starts growing a little flower when it evolves
i can't explain this one they just have the same vibes and energy. i think they'd go well together
tyrunt - so let's imagine that for some reason there were some fossil pokemon that kinda just escaped and that's how we explain the dinosaur encounters from rhe campaign
anyways he befriends the tyrunt in typical gum gum fashion (kyborg is SHOCKED because out of all the pokemon this one was a shiny) and they become friends! it loves hugs but it often initiated them running full speed and knocking over the victim (which is fine for gum gum, not fun for anyone else though)
yamper - SPOILERS FOR GUM GUM'S ARC
despite gum gum's bad experiences with rum rum (WHICH BY THE WAY rum rum perhaps was a rockruff that evolved into midnight lycanroc or a houndour/houndoom and that bite wouldve HURT) he's still fond of puppies n yamper helped with this slight uneasiness he's felt
idk i think gum gum deserves a silly little puppy
all his pokemon r very cuddly :)
MUDD
prefers mellow, calm pokemon since he finds it a bit tiring to keep up with high energy pokemon (unlike the other three)
his pokemon are quite well trained!! he's caught a lot of them and they're all very well taken care of
despite his pokemon being pretty strong, he doesn't find much use in pokemon battles
snivy - got the snivy during his time with his family! royal background buddies!!! snivy is a very calm pokemon (but it shares the same sass that mudd has), they're pretty close :D
linoone - GUMBO!!!!! at first, linoone wasn't too big of a fan of mudd but they gradually becamw closer! they do everything together, if you look at mudd linoone would always be on his shoulders or being carried
lycanroc - its the vibes honestly..
midday lycanroc is calm and loyal, and maybe mudd has raised it since it was a rockruff so they're also pretty well bonded!
idk i think they'd get along well
lapras, gogoat - both pokemon that remind me of mudd's personality
i cant explain this except for the fact that theyre correlated to some of the pokemon he's wild shaped into so ....
archen - i think it'd be funny if mudd just had a feral little pokemon . end quote
45 notes · View notes
dr11ft · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
chicana miku 🤎
11K notes · View notes
sleepsucks · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
727 notes · View notes
bunnieswithknives · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sorry I was compelled to draw these by forces beyond my comprehension. I just think they would be silly :3
215 notes · View notes
lemongogo · 16 days ago
Text
oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
31 notes · View notes
reeama-the-mage · 4 months ago
Text
The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?
But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)
And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy
So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me
#Charles Rowland#Edwin payne#dead boy detectives#Wrotong this down made me want to delve even further into characters and their relationships w/ trust btw#Crystals is also really interesting to me because she is looking for people she trusts and she keeps coming up empty slowly coming to the#relaization that she cant even trust herself and she'll never b the same girl but theres old roads that need to be repaved#or atleast properly gated off and she nearly loses the trust she has built up over the course of the show because it is not enough to trust#them with her and she cant trust herself with them because she has finally friends she doesnt want to hurt for amusement and she is sick w/#the idea it wont last#Niko lost two of the biggest ppl she could trust in one fell sweep as one died and the other just wanted her to not be sad anymore and it#broke her in a way and shes having to build new bridges to find herself again#The Cat King trusts people enough to let them in his bed and to charm them but not enough for them to see anything deeper to see who he#really is because he is A Cat King (TM ;) ) and he should be Better than That and hes just as petty and mortal as anyone else#Monty well maybe this is a hot take but monty trusts himself and not much else he is a charmer and confident in his feelings for Edwin he i#sure of his ability to deceive and Charm the ghost boys and i think he is sure when he brings Charles his bag#Maybe u could say Monty trusts Esther but i dont thinks thats true when he realizes the effects Esthers revenge will have he tries 2 get th#ghost buys tf outand even earlier he crows when Esther is trying to “threaten some kids#monty“ and then obvi already mentioned getting charles his bag he doesnt so much trust esther as he is chained to her which kinda makes me#wonder how old is monty? Like when made into a human he is made vaguely teenager aged but like he is the familiar of a very old witch is he#the last in a long series of familiars or is he near as old as Esther herself maybe he was picked up some years ago but long after Esther#was already a well established witch he could literally be any age wtf
22 notes · View notes
persy-r-bozo · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#Reds such a unique and sad character to me#No matter what he does he is in a loop somehow. both actually and mentally.#He wants change - but he's afraid of it - But he NEEDS it - but its too scary.#He wants to be normal - But normal is boring - But its safe.#Too weird for people - too normal for freaks.#He Likes those two - But getting attached hurts. - But he truly does love them - But what if hes the issue? what is HE hurts them.#and thats why i think transport was such a big turning point. because he does hurt them#He tries his best and does what he thinks will be best.#him being alone so he issnt an “Issue”#And them being happy and healthy in a place where thier needs are met. and they dont have to be scared anymore.#but he fails and he hurts them.#His torture here is feeling helpless and whenever he tries it fails to the point he feels awful.#He has such complex and battling emotions they loop in his head over and over. too the point he cant do anything#thus making him a neutral character.#But neutral issnt a Good thing#Yes he doesnt hurt anything. But he doesnt help or comfort either#He is in a loop inside and out.#Hes drowning.#SIIIGHH sometimes it hurts understanding him /hj. (i know theres like a gigillion ways to interpret him lmao.}#im actuly kinda sad i havent seen anyone else have the idea of him being torn apart inside and anxious tho.#or that he sees himself as a big monster. maybe even due to him leaveing before (trying to help but failing again)#or that hes easy to manipulate. thus creating danger for the other two.#But im just yapping and making a comic based on my thoughts :]#(as ive been a lil mentally ill about string man lately.#dhmis#dhmis red guy#dhmis fanart#dhmis comic#dont hug me im scared
16 notes · View notes
triglycercule · 1 month ago
Text
mtt playing poker but why would they bet with money thats soooo boring boo boo boo no they bet with increasingly worse and concerning things and its fun for some reason
oh theyd LOVE that shit istg. luck and bluff and tells and lies??? god who knows your own lies and deceit better than another version of yourself??? and yet picking up the other two's tells is oh so very hard because theyre not the same anymore than when they were all sans and sometimes they dont even know themselves so how could they pick up on a mirrored version's? it works out a lot more than they think
killer would have no disregard for what he bets. he plays unpredictably and sneakily. probably faking some emotion here and there to get the hasty (horror) confused and concerned about what he could do and then it turns out killer had a fucking ass hand yet he won??? BULLSHIT horror cries out!!!! but dust just picks up the cards on the ground and deals them again and they play another round. sometimes killer purposely loses. why? he dont know its just to throw a wild card into dust and horror's predictions and mayhaps for the reactions
dust is a dirty player he is a fucking CHEATER‼️‼️‼️ phantom paps are his eyes that he uses to spy on killer and horror's hands. would he need to even try anymore at that point when he could easily win every round? well yes because that wouldn't be a fun game and dust wants to have as much fun as he can in this game of lies. he pretends he doesn't know what horror and killer's hands are. they both know. theyre both more than aware of dust's cheating. and that's why their betting starts going against him specifically and then dust has to figure out how to bet them higher while also trying not to fuck himself over
horror's main thing is just to not get fucked over. goddamnit why did he agree to this he's not as open to getting hurt than dust or killer are!!! (but you still agreed anyways?) so he thinks he's the only one to have a real reason to win (because horror no wanna get hurty hurty owww owww painpainpain ouch!!!) maybe he gets too cocky and ends up betting too high because dust or killer had been losing and he wanted to take a chance. maybe that high bet was actually what got him to win?? it's all a game of chance of course and horror'll only show what he thinks after the round's done. when the cards are dealt and the stakes are up he'll just analyze the hell out of the two (don't YOU hate being analyzed??) and tap his fingers on the table over and over
their way of betting would be like: the winner gets to do whatever the other two said as their bets to the betters. like if dust loses and horror wins and he said he could get sucker punched horror is sucker punching the FUCK out of him. but these three argue they fight and bicker and throw gibes and taunts!!! how would they ever agree on what bets are higher and which are lower ⁉️⁉️⁉️ to horror a bet of saying that he'd have to eat something could be like straight hell to him but killer and dust could just put the argument that it doesn't REALLY mean that much (they know it does to horror) and then force him to bet higher because cmon coward you can do better than that!!! dont you want to get some sort of revenge on us if you lose a previous round and win this one??? and other forms of logic like that 4 dust and killer
killer starts off with an absurdly high bet (because he would) like getting to mess with his soul or something. is he sure that dust and horror have losing hands? he doesn't know. and because killer has no form of limit for himself and that's already a high bar to set for dust and horror to reach (if they don't have good hands i think they'd probably want killer to bet lower. but would they tell him??) so damn it horror has to pull out some bullshit fucking bet like he'll allow himself to get hunted down by the two with every trap he's ever set on a human in horrortale (sooo much more psychological thinking and trickery going on without betting money and instead scenarios its SO FUN). and then could dust fold? does phantom paps say he should? it depends on the cards dust has (and what if he doesn't believe paps based on his own assumptions? (paranoid bitch)) and if he can't fold he has to match the bet or go higher and then he comes up with some bogus situation like ok i'll let you guys dress me up in my human's clothes and throw me in an au and have to do what they did (and OH GOD what about if they make a bet that the other 2 wouldn't actually want to do if they win??? if killer won that round with that as dust's bet would he want someone to reenact something similar to what his own human did and have to watch??????)
oops they just got another new set of scars from last week's poker night and another layer of trauma but why the hell are they sitting down at the table again??? idk man i'm just the dealer here trying not to get killed
#keep in mind i dont know a damn thing about poker ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#they match eachother's freak#guys gambling is bad just know that. the trio gamble with eachother 100% every interaction is a gamble#gambling is so them i will not lie. everything about them is so gambling coded. casino trio#its addicting and also something they hate. something that represents the worst trait of them that the indulge each time they interact#and yet the pull is there and its fun in the moment and there are moments where taking the gamble was worth it and they dont hate eachother#but the losses always overshadow the wins and just staying addicted isnt helping them at all. but addictions are hard#and theres still some more to win so for the time being why not bet all you have and give everything up to the other two?#UGHHH THIS IDEA IS SO FUN AND AMAZING I NEED THEM TO BECOME REAL SO I CAN WITNESS THIS#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL CARDS OR HOW TO BE A DEALER BUT ID LEARN JUST FOR THIS SIGHT I WOULD I WILL IM GONNA no im not BUT STILL#can people actually turn into the mtt and try to reenact this because i actually would kill to see this sight live#worlds best poker game dare i say. the stakes are HIGH dare i say HIGH!!!!!#now dont forget about the other factors like previous rounds or sudden impulses or selfish goals or current moods#GOD EVERY NIGHT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. i can understand the appeal of why they would keep playing even after all that#non violent bets. violent bets. bets of revenge bets to make motivations. the world is their oyster#this form of the trio's poker would be just a massive free for all of pushing boundaries and it all depends on luck#kist has russian roulette. horrorkiller has the knife game. mttpoly has trio poker. WHAT DOES HORRORDUST HAVE#you cant come up with terrible for themselves and eachother poker and put anybody but the trio in it#maybe nightmare's the dealer but tell me a single other utmv character that would play this???? NONE I SAY NONE!!!!!!#mtt are great bc their fanon nicer versions are so popular that i dont feel like shit when i either make them nice or evil#and eitherway canon or fanon their interactions are so much more interesting than anyone elses :333#the stars aligned three days ago and created three characters so perfect with eachother yet so terrible for eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#bad sanses#tricule hc
9 notes · View notes
smrtnik07 · 4 months ago
Note
Could I maybe request a Dias and/or Moses?
Tumblr media
something is wrong with both of them
18 notes · View notes
paigemathews · 2 months ago
Text
Something that I feel a lot of fans forget when they get angry at Phoebe for refusing to help Cole in the Wasteland is that he's not just asking her to save him. Despite saying that the Source is gone, he very intentionally still asks her to be evil. That's not me being dramatic or anything either because that's very explicitly canon. Phoebe, even as a Charmed One, doesn't have the power to resurrect Cole. As a good witch, she just physically (magically?) can't; it's not something within her abilities. (Obviously, otherwise, she and Piper would've resurrected Prue.)
The only method that Cole gives her to save him is the Grimoire. Y'know, the book that requires you to be evil to even touch it, much less use it. That's not something that you can trick; she would have to become evil again to even use it. He knows that, even acknowledges it to Phoebe in the Wasteland. She literally tells him that she won't use dark magic again, acknowledging it as evil. Cole isn't like oh, forgot about that! No, he asks her if she wouldn't use it "even for us." He knows what that would entail and what that would require Phoebe to do.
That isn't even getting into what the spell itself would require. This part, admittedly, is speculation but with the Grimoire being the Grimoire and resurrection like that being so rare and difficult, I have a hard time believing that the spell or ritual wouldn't have involved killing innocents. (Personal headcanon is that the spell calls for at least one heart personally. We see with Tuatha in That Old Black Magic that she uses a human heart to disempower witches. Something much worse would logically be required for a resurrection spell.) Just asking Phoebe even retrieve the Grimoire, much less use it, is bad.
As for later, she is still planning on giving up her powers, so it's not as if she'll be able to discover some other method to save him. She won't be Charmed anymore. And while, yes, the Angel of Destiny gives them some time to make this decision, there's still a time limit on how long they can take this option. Maybe with more time, Phoebe would have been able to figure out a way to save him without the Grimoire. However, it'd have required her to stay chained to a destiny that she no longer wanted and give up the future that she, and Piper, wanted: one free of magic, pain, loss, etc. So, yeah, she simply doesn't have the time, resources, or ability to save him without the Grimoire (which still isn't an option anyways). And by the time that she and Piper decide that they want to remain as witches, Cole has already freed himself, so it's a moot point anyways.
I mean, genuinely, in this situation, what did people want Phoebe to do? She didn't refuse to save Cole; she literally could not save him from the Wasteland. (And this is without delving into the argument about if Phoebe should save him or is obligated to save Cole anyways, which is a completely different question involving their relationship, choices, and morality.)
9 notes · View notes
reel-fear · 8 months ago
Text
MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
Tumblr media
grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
23 notes · View notes
hecksupremechips · 2 months ago
Text
I never wanted to make this post but it’s been on my mind for months now and I need to SPEAK MY TRUTH
If Junpei and Akane ever had sex (disgusting don’t make me think about that), don’t you dare tell me Akane would peg him. Because this simply isn’t true. It’s not that Akane isn’t enough of a #girlboss or that junpei can’t be pegged, no. It’s just that if these two fucking idiots ever actually ended up in this situation they would literally have the worst sex I’m talking the straightest most painful shit imaginable. Akane is laying there trying to figure out which fake moans sound most appropriate what kinda facade does she want to put on does she want to sound like SUPER into it or maybe it’d be more believable if she sounded only kinda into it. Whatever makes it end faster. Junpei starts off asking if she’s okay and his heart is pounding but not in a good way it’s a sense of dread and then like 2 seconds in he realizes that this shit is not worth it at all it’s wrong on every level good lord what’s even happening he’s not even trying he’s actually falling asleep. Akanes hair gets caught in something, Junpei is honest to god making bad small talk to make it less awkward, there’s a baby crying next door really loudly, Akane just texts Aoi to call dramatically saying he’s dying just so she has an excuse to leave. She could’ve communicated through the field but she was literally just that bored. Afterwards they do not speak about what the fuck just occurred, they just reevaluate their life choices and watch tv
8 notes · View notes
nerosdayinanime · 10 months ago
Text
Lullabye
1k word count, modern au, sabito centric, angst/bittersweet/hurt comfort(? not much comfort), implied suicidal ideation, nightmares disguised as dreams, t4t sabigiyu<3, touch-starved sabito, first and last draft
Chandelier (Will Paquin) / Sweet Tooth (cavetown)
Sabito woke suddenly, furiously blinking and taking in the scene of his blankets where he'd kicked them off in his sleep. He pressed his face further into the bed with a weary sigh, harshly rubbing at his eye struggling to hold back tears. It was still dark, he had saw the clock read 2am- Third night in a row..
The echo of pleasant conversation and warm laughter, companionship simply lost to time and circumstance. He curled up pressing his face and holding onto a pillow, trying to breathe normally.
The other two had been fast-paced and heart wretching- a mad dash through a sea of people he doesnt care about, desperately trying to reach the small smile and lovely presence of a friend long gone to him.. Legs not responding how they're supposed to. Scrabbling at the floor to go a fraction of a moment faster. A faceless nobody had tried to stop him, tried to distract him from the back getting further and further away from him. It shattered his heart every further step apart, he punched them and shoved past in blind dread- but no matter how hard he pushed, through the countless people filling the path between them, the feeling of trying to run underwater, the crushing feeling of failure and regret, he'd never reach them again. It was a hopeless effort. He woke up in the middle of the night, unable to shake the horrible ache the dream left him with the rest of the day.
This one was.. soft.
He was injured, some cut he couldnt feel in his abdomen. He was being treated for it, but free to walk around after someone had wrapped some bandages around him. He found his way to a main area, tall stairs leading up to nowhere he cared, he followed the people going past it to the large cafeteria. He got in line for a simple meal, not knowing what to do besides follow the guy in front of him who had started talking to him- he didnt find his company anything besides neutral until he started messing with his food. He quickly lost his appetite and slammed his violated baked potato into the fucker's face, chosing to wander through the tables for more pleasant company, someone who'd just leave him alone even.
He saw a table, someone he recognized but didnt really know, and the world stopped when he approached. Just a few seats over. Him. Right there. Open seat across, just for him. He sat, deep blue eyes looking up at him in surprise, quickly melting to glee- he smiled brightly as they caught up. They both went by different names now, they had seperated before he really understood what that meant- choosing his own new name, Giyuu. He had introduced his own, his heart soared as it rolled off his tounge as if it was the only one he knew, Sabito. Giyuu had an adorable pet bird, feathers as glossy black as his own hair- it was a wild crow, an old one that loved his affections and easy snacks over the constant fight to find food in the wild. It gently nipped at his fingers before letting him pet its head, Giyuu beamed. The time flew by, walking back to the main area still talking about what all they've been up to, testing the waters with his touchy nature cuddling up against him at every chance. Giyuu only smiled and encouraged it, lifting his arm for Sabito to bury under. Eventually he had to leave for whatever reason, they waved goodbye and he went back to his bed in recovery- no time had passed and he was right back there the next day. Giyuu waiting for him with someone, their friend Ozaki not recognizing him at first. When she did she excitedly invited him to visit sometime before she had to hurry along, leaving him and Giyuu to get food together. Another lost friend, Murata, excitedly waving them down to sit with him, "I've been waiting for you! How's it been, man?" He was so happy, a warm buzz in his heart, the world he saw so bright and colorful. He locked onto Giyuu's small smile as he teased him, "So, are you waiting for me to let you smother me?" Sabito laughed at his light tone and brushed up against his side, an arm curling around his shoulder and assuring thats where he belonged.
He didn't notice when it stopped, the fuzzy transition to the waking world. A slow tune playing in the back of his mind, the only clear lyrics repeating as he woke, "I like you.... Say it back."
He laid there processing his sad reality, an idiot with no friends, no hobbies, nothing to look forward to, having dreams dragging the past to the present. Impossible dream of reviving childhood friendships he lost contact with years ago. The warmth in his heart had gone cold when he woke, now pouring down his face as he choked on the crushing feeling that encased his entire being. The cold of the night buried deep in his bones, clutching onto the little warmth between him and his pillow as if it was his only tether to life. Times like this let the darkest parts of his brain claw their way to the front, Why am I holding on so tightly? What have I really got to live for anymore. Pleasant dreams that give me everything I want but will never ever have when I wake? He sobbed and stared emptily through the blurry view, the pain digging so deep in his chest. He wanted that warmth again, needed it, the dreamy brightness and feeling of sunbeams soaking into his skin, warming him from the inside out. The brief respite from the crushing cold and lonliness only served to highlight it. He ached, everything shaking uncontrollably in this stupid fit-
mmrrrp?
He jumped at the little trill, the recently adopted stray rarely made noise. He propped up a bit and harshly scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, stopping when he felt a paw gently prod at his hand, he blinked at the deep blue eyes staring into his own. He fought back a new wave of tears at the familiarity, stupid fucking dream. He leaned back to look at his cat, sitting on the nightstand still holding its paw up and looking at him with its big eyes. He halfheartedly sniffled and grunted, "So-orry bud, did I wake you up?"
Nagi smoothly stood and hopped the little gap between the stand and his bed, not breaking eye contact as it slowly waddled across to stand right next to his face. He carefully reached up and held his hand next to its head, the cat quickly bumping against and rubbing against his palm, then leaning down to lick at his wet face. He closed his eyes and gently pet through its thick black fur and mumbled to himself, "You'd be the only one who'd miss me, huh?"
The cat stopped licking his face and looked at him with ears flicked back, "Even if, you'd find someone else who loved you... I'm not that special.."
Nagi fluffed up, thick fur pointing along its back, Sabito blinked at the outline in the dark and startled when the cat yowled right in his face. He closed his eyes and turned his head when it started smacking his face, shocked at the sudden change in personality as it then started rubbing full body against any part of him it could reach, purring like a motor. He teared up again and buried his face in its side, clutching onto the pillow below with one hand and gently holding his cat with the other.
He shook as his cat shared its fluffy warmth with him, purring loud enough to drown out any other thought, tail curled around his neck and licking at his forehead in the middle of the night
23 notes · View notes
bigothteddies · 4 months ago
Text
I’ve said it before that it’s like. weird to have reached this point where I really only want to have sex with a small subset of people I am genuinely attracted to as people.
7 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months ago
Text
...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
8 notes · View notes
simelune · 2 years ago
Text
💭 hmmm venting in tags.
but im very curious what you guys think about the phrase/idea "you can't love someone else until you love yourself"???
34 notes · View notes