#sure. isnt blue eyes white dragon a yugio card?? ( Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[nerosdayinanime]

Lullabye

1k word count, modern au, sabito centric, angst/bittersweet/hurt comfort(? not much comfort), implied suicidal ideation, nightmares disguised as dreams, t4t sabigiyu<3, touch-starved sabito, first and last draft

Chandelier (Will Paquin) / Sweet Tooth (cavetown)

Sabito woke suddenly, furiously blinking and taking in the scene of his blankets where he'd kicked them off in his sleep. He pressed his face further into the bed with a weary sigh, harshly rubbing at his eye struggling to hold back tears. It was still dark, he had saw the clock read 2am- Third night in a row..

The echo of pleasant conversation and warm laughter, companionship simply lost to time and circumstance. He curled up pressing his face and holding onto a pillow, trying to breathe normally.

The other two had been fast-paced and heart wretching- a mad dash through a sea of people he doesnt care about, desperately trying to reach the small smile and lovely presence of a friend long gone to him.. Legs not responding how they're supposed to. Scrabbling at the floor to go a fraction of a moment faster. A faceless nobody had tried to stop him, tried to distract him from the back getting further and further away from him. It shattered his heart every further step apart, he punched them and shoved past in blind dread- but no matter how hard he pushed, through the countless people filling the path between them, the feeling of trying to run underwater, the crushing feeling of failure and regret, he'd never reach them again. It was a hopeless effort. He woke up in the middle of the night, unable to shake the horrible ache the dream left him with the rest of the day.

This one was.. soft.

He was injured, some cut he couldnt feel in his abdomen. He was being treated for it, but free to walk around after someone had wrapped some bandages around him. He found his way to a main area, tall stairs leading up to nowhere he cared, he followed the people going past it to the large cafeteria. He got in line for a simple meal, not knowing what to do besides follow the guy in front of him who had started talking to him- he didnt find his company anything besides neutral until he started messing with his food. He quickly lost his appetite and slammed his violated baked potato into the fucker's face, chosing to wander through the tables for more pleasant company, someone who'd just leave him alone even.

He saw a table, someone he recognized but didnt really know, and the world stopped when he approached. Just a few seats over. Him. Right there. Open seat across, just for him. He sat, deep blue eyes looking up at him in surprise, quickly melting to glee- he smiled brightly as they caught up. They both went by different names now, they had seperated before he really understood what that meant- choosing his own new name, Giyuu. He had introduced his own, his heart soared as it rolled off his tounge as if it was the only one he knew, Sabito. Giyuu had an adorable pet bird, feathers as glossy black as his own hair- it was a wild crow, an old one that loved his affections and easy snacks over the constant fight to find food in the wild. It gently nipped at his fingers before letting him pet its head, Giyuu beamed. The time flew by, walking back to the main area still talking about what all they've been up to, testing the waters with his touchy nature cuddling up against him at every chance. Giyuu only smiled and encouraged it, lifting his arm for Sabito to bury under. Eventually he had to leave for whatever reason, they waved goodbye and he went back to his bed in recovery- no time had passed and he was right back there the next day. Giyuu waiting for him with someone, their friend Ozaki not recognizing him at first. When she did she excitedly invited him to visit sometime before she had to hurry along, leaving him and Giyuu to get food together. Another lost friend, Murata, excitedly waving them down to sit with him, "I've been waiting for you! How's it been, man?" He was so happy, a warm buzz in his heart, the world he saw so bright and colorful. He locked onto Giyuu's small smile as he teased him, "So, are you waiting for me to let you smother me?" Sabito laughed at his light tone and brushed up against his side, an arm curling around his shoulder and assuring thats where he belonged.

He didn't notice when it stopped, the fuzzy transition to the waking world. A slow tune playing in the back of his mind, the only clear lyrics repeating as he woke, "I like you.... Say it back."

He laid there processing his sad reality, an idiot with no friends, no hobbies, nothing to look forward to, having dreams dragging the past to the present. Impossible dream of reviving childhood friendships he lost contact with years ago. The warmth in his heart had gone cold when he woke, now pouring down his face as he choked on the crushing feeling that encased his entire being. The cold of the night buried deep in his bones, clutching onto the little warmth between him and his pillow as if it was his only tether to life. Times like this let the darkest parts of his brain claw their way to the front, Why am I holding on so tightly? What have I really got to live for anymore. Pleasant dreams that give me everything I want but will never ever have when I wake? He sobbed and stared emptily through the blurry view, the pain digging so deep in his chest. He wanted that warmth again, needed it, the dreamy brightness and feeling of sunbeams soaking into his skin, warming him from the inside out. The brief respite from the crushing cold and lonliness only served to highlight it. He ached, everything shaking uncontrollably in this stupid fit-

mmrrrp?

He jumped at the little trill, the recently adopted stray rarely made noise. He propped up a bit and harshly scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, stopping when he felt a paw gently prod at his hand, he blinked at the deep blue eyes staring into his own. He fought back a new wave of tears at the familiarity, stupid fucking dream. He leaned back to look at his cat, sitting on the nightstand still holding its paw up and looking at him with its big eyes. He halfheartedly sniffled and grunted, "So-orry bud, did I wake you up?"

Nagi smoothly stood and hopped the little gap between the stand and his bed, not breaking eye contact as it slowly waddled across to stand right next to his face. He carefully reached up and held his hand next to its head, the cat quickly bumping against and rubbing against his palm, then leaning down to lick at his wet face. He closed his eyes and gently pet through its thick black fur and mumbled to himself, "You'd be the only one who'd miss me, huh?"

The cat stopped licking his face and looked at him with ears flicked back, "Even if, you'd find someone else who loved you... I'm not that special.."

Nagi fluffed up, thick fur pointing along its back, Sabito blinked at the outline in the dark and startled when the cat yowled right in his face. He closed his eyes and turned his head when it started smacking his face, shocked at the sudden change in personality as it then started rubbing full body against any part of him it could reach, purring like a motor. He teared up again and buried his face in its side, clutching onto the pillow below with one hand and gently holding his cat with the other.

He shook as his cat shared its fluffy warmth with him, purring loud enough to drown out any other thought, tail curled around his neck and licking at his forehead in the middle of the night