#i have no energy and no ambition and just want to be lazy

[jedi-bird]

Woke up early today and despite knocking a bunch of stuff down and breaking something, I managed not to break any dishes washing them. Did drop a plate of cat food on one of the cats though (it was a plastic plate designed for babies so it's very light, she's fine, just pouting because she doesn't like getting messy). Went back to sleep for about two hours and felt great upon getting up. Half an hour later I feel like shit and kind of just want to go back to sleep for the rest of the day.

[novadreii]

something i don't talk a lot about on here are my chronic pain/illness problems. i guess because i try not to think about it more than i already do, and it's probably the biggest present source of anxiety for me.

when i entered my 30s a couple of years ago, after a particularly stressful year after about 10+ of them, my physical health declined pretty quickly. my hair fell out, i gained weight, my perfect eyesight suddenly wasn't one day, i had constant fatigue and brain fog. i waited out healthcare timelines and was diagnosed with the beginning stages of an autoimmune thyroid disorder right before i moved across the country and got on another waitlist. in this time i managed to improve a lot of the symptoms with lifestyle factors.

i spent the next year researching everything i could about autoimmunity and its triggers, and also about things that could improve my condition while i waited. i tried all kinds of foods and supplements, but unfortunately, stress is pretty much my number one trigger and i was in a very toxic relationship with someone who seemed determined to maximize the amount i experienced on a daily basis. i took too long to leave (6 months since the onset of the neglect, but this person had been triggering me with their unavailability for basically the entire 2ish years).

i remember fearing i'd go to sleep and never wake up from the constant chest pain my anxiety was causing me, and that was my cue to end things. but it was too late health wise--I'd already spent months crying every night and trying to control the shaky, cold sweat anxiety that accompanied me almost every minute of every day.

this basically triggered a huge flare of my illness that had added fun new symptoms (arthritis in my hands, inner ear pain, and constant, all-day muscle spasms and eye twitches. fun!). i am once again, on a waitlist, because i moved back home and had to go to the back of the line :) i have spent all summer trying to regain the progress i had made before my personal drama happened. eating right, moving my body, avoiding stressful endeavours like the plague, processing trauma in therapy head on so it doesn't fester, sleeping for the first time in probably a year and overall just resting for probably the first time since i was 15 lol. my job is a blessing because it's remote, stupid easy and relaxed, allowing me the kind of work life balance where i can heal myself while earning a living. i've complained about my job a lot, but the universe sent it to me because it knew i needed something flexible to accommodate the freakshow my life would soon become.

this is basically what i work on in therapy these days. the surrender needed to know i am doing all i can, and right now all i can do is continue to take care of myself and wait. and it's okay. i will likely see yet another patronizing mandoctor in a couple of months, and i won't be in a flare then so i won't feel so terrible, and i will finally get the meds that will help me feel normal again, what i haven't felt for coming on 5 years. it's out of my control right now, but that's not a bad thing because it's going to be okay anyways.

this process has truly helped me not identify so hard with my body. i need to stop fighting it (while taking the best care of myself as i can) and accept that it's gonna do what it wants to do. but above all, i cannot be so pressed about it because that's the one thing that makes it worse above all else. i have learned to ignore/live with a certain amount of pain; it's not always at a 9 or 10, but it spikes there sometimes but averages out to 4-6 on a daily basis. just enough to be distracting, annoying, and prohibitive of certain activities (begging my brother to do dishes because it physically hurts to use my hands. also can't cook which is a rare thing that brings me joy). i will have to ice my wrist after this. but again, i'm in a flare so it will let up eventually. and in that time i just have to let things be. a concept that was foreign to me this time last year.

[neptxn3]

Astrology Notes III

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪₊‧°

Disclaimer, these are observations I have made through personal experience and thorough research, observations also vary depending on other natal placements involved

doesn’t resonate ≠ untrue 

♅ Pluto in the 10th house has a tendency to come across as very overbearing in the workplace. This is having a routinely structure you want to have done precisely every day, so this makes you ask your coworker if they want you to do the coffee run for a meeting, staying past closing time to make sure everything is in place, doing 10x as much work as your coworkers because you like things in a certain order.

it also causes coworkers to think of you as someone who’s willing to step over them in order to appear as this solid leader who is better than them ( and often times this does manifest in the native) but mostly it is subconscious.

It honestly reminds of the devil wears Prada where Andrea gets so good at guessing what Miranda’s expectations are that she goes over the top in order to please her and it gets to the point she manages to snag the trip to Paris that has always been given to Emily in the singular year she’s worked at the magazine. Andrea being Pluto person who unknowingly becomes the ‘better’ assistant.

♅ There’s a natural discomfort when one has the Moon placed in the first house, especially if placed in signs like Aquarius or Capricorn due to the fact that their emotions are put on display which is a forced vulnerability. 

I actually find fire placements (not typically Sagittarius) who actually find enjoyment in their faces being easily read? One because fire placements are less inclined to hide their feelings, and two because they can be a bit impatient to get their point across 

♅ Virgo placements are kinda funny in the sense that they’re not necessarily clean freaks, they won’t go out of their way to clean someone’s room because it’s dirty, but they are obviously very precise with their own mess, they don’t like being messy themselves you know? It’s not seen as a second nature to clean but rather an obligation for them because they need clean spaces in order to be productive with an active Mercury influence. 

I actually find it very common for Virgo placements to have an “organized mess” too. They know where they left their green paperclip in their messy rooms (it’s under the left desk leg). 

♅ Taurus placements , fixed signs in general, but especially Taurus placements grow up with a specific set of beliefs and morals that they follow through and through. It’s because of their fixed nature that they will refuse to change, in fact Taurus placements consider their perspective to be so correct, if afflicted, Taurus placements can be the hardest to evolve in your chart. 

♅ cancer risings tend to attract very dangerous men/women due to Scorpio being in their 5th house, this is actually why cancers fall under the sweet damsel in distress who dates the big bad boys in romantic tropes a lot lol but yes they actively seek people who have a dark reputation or damaged past as lovers

♅ People with Mars in the 12th house are often accused of being unmotivated and lazy by people in their life but it actually stems from the fact that mars is uncomfortable being in a house that’s connected to the unconscious mind while craving the open expression of anger and ambition mars naturally is. I actually find they overthink their actions. You can remind a person with mars in the 12th house to take out the trash before bed because the garbage collectors come tomorrow and they will spend the whole day cleaning the house, drain their energy and say “I’ll just wake up early and do it tomorrow” but they never do 😭 They confuse themselves!! 

it’s also interesting to note a person with a 12th house prominence that includes mars will be defensive about their said actions. “Take out the trash” “I was already planning on doing it but now I don’t want to”. I include 12th house prominence because a mars in the 12th also has stealthy actions and thoughts 🤫

♅ People with their 4th house ruler in the 7th house will have emotional withdrawals if their routine does not involve socializing with others. You’ll typically see this in people who choose to search for roommates during college, move in with close friends to “save on rent” or choose to never move out of their parents home ( I support this in this economy lol)

you’ll also see this in people who are serial daters, not to say that their relationships don’t impact them greatly, but they feel a requirement to express their feelings with others. 

Could make great therapists too actually

♅ Mercury square saturn people need precise instructions whenever they do something. Mercury can be very sporadic in square aspects because their communication is being misconstrued the same way a radios antennae need to be arranged in a certain way  in order to get signal. With Saturn representing structure, they prefer very detailed instructions on pretty much anything. You need them to get a wrench? It’s on the left? Top, middle, or bottom? And what color is it? Is it in the back or front of the cabinet? 

Also, Mercury square Saturn people, we’re you the kids who’s dad yelled at them for holding the flashlight the wrong way when fixing something? 

♅ I find it very funny when Aquarius placements are dubbed the people who change the world with their innovative ideas because you will connect that to them actively trying to improve society but it’s actually because they just want life to be easier to navigate for themselves. They’re the type to invent flying cars, not for the next Industrial Revolution that will forever change man once again, but because they want a cheaper way to save on overseas travel 😭. Don’t get the wrong idea, a lot of them realize their potential and eventually use their ideas for good, but it usually starts off as very personal and self serving. 

[hwnglx]

𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘦 - 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧?

hi loves. i've been feeling this urge to spread some positive energy to some of you who might be struggling a little these days. so, i figured i could make my very first pac. one that will (hopefully) make you feel a little bit more peaceful. breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

pile 1-3 (left till right)

pile 4-6 (left till right)

✧ pile 1 ✧ queofp, moon, knofw, 5ofprx, temp, highpr, emper

hi lovely pile 1 person.

so, you're likely to be an earth sign or have dominant earth placements, and some water influences (your moon?). it makes you someone who appreciates hard work and groundedness a lot. however, there might be a tendency for you to lose yourself in your thoughts, and let insecurity take over you sometimes. i can see you blaming yourself for it a lot, and not liking that fact. especially because you have so much ambition and enthusiasm for the things you desire, you hate how your own mind can sometimes stand in the way of you fulfilling it in a way that you wish you could.

but, don't beat yourself up over this. i can see a lot of power in you, especially your intellect can do such amazing things. you're probably very intuitive, but maybe not fully aware of it yet. once you learn how to balance out your deep thoughts and see them as your asset instead of a weakness, you will be able to go so much further in life.

this might take some time, so don't rush and trust the proccess. maybe you still are in need of some more maturing. but believe me when i tell you, you have everything you need within you already. you're an extremely powerful and special individual, who's destined for so many amazing things. i can see you surprising yourself with how much you can achieve, if you just believe in yourself and your capabilites more. the world can be so vast and overwhelming, and this can get too much for you sometimes. but i'm telling you right now, that you were made for this. there's nothing in this world that you can not achieve, the universe put so much potential in you.

you will have your time to be your best self. once you get to a stronger and more stable place, you will be able look back at the times you doubted yourself fondly. stay strong, trust yourself, don't let the unknown make you insecure. you got this. i believe in you 🤍

✧ pile 2 ✧ 7ofp, 6ofw, 10ofw, herm, 10ofsw, fool

hello there, pile 2 person.

my god, i can feel the heavy weight on your back right away. are you very tired and exhausted? i know, you've persevered through so many burdens and draining periods in your life. i know that, eventhough to the outside it might look like you're successful, you're achieving many things and get praised a lot. but deep inside, you feel lonely. i know that constantly being seen as the "hard working, dilligent and persistent person" can be so much pressure, that sometimes you wish you could just give up.

is constantly wanting to look perfect to the outside world draining you? do you sometimes wish you could just let loose, not care about a thing in the world and allow yourself to be free? i know it must be so hard to feel like you can't let anyone in on these thoughts. i know you don't like people looking at you as weak, insecure, lazy or easily tired. but i am here to tell you, that i understand and support you. i am here to tell you, you are not alone in this journey. and there is someone who, even if they can't fully relate, will accept you with all your weaknesses and flaws. who knows, maybe they aren't even weaknesses in anyone else's eyes.

you're so incredibly hard on yourself, and should allow yourself to rest more. you've earned the rest, even by just being you. you don't have to constantly be productive, do or achieve something in order to let yourself relax. you deserve to be at peace at all times, even on days when you didn't do anything.

go outside, let yourself feel the freeing breeze or the beautiful sunshine, allow yourself to just feel life flowing through your veins sometimes. realize how precious you are, by just existing and being you. there is nothing in the world more valuable than the life and soul you were given. don't let yourself be persuaded into having to be anything more than you already are, you and your raw existence are good enough.

i am so proud of you. for enduring through so many burdenful moments in your life. please, tell yourself that it's okay to sit back and enjoy peace sometimes. you are doing an incredible job. celebrate yourself for the beautiful person you are, not only the things you can do.

✧ pile 3 ✧ queofc, 7ofp, pagofw, emper, kingofc, 7ofsw, 9ofp, moon, judg, wheel

hi sweet person who picked pile 3.

wow, there's definitely many things going on in you, hm? you might have some strong water placements (i'm feeling cancer strongly..) which makes you a very emotionally intelligent person. i'm aware of how that can impact you and your practical life sometimes. there is this very unique intertwine between being very mature, but on the other hand still getting humbled from time to time, when it comes to certain experiences like.. "wow. i guess i'm not that far in life yet. i didn't think i'd still have so much to learn." i think it's a beautiful thing for you to be able to take those moments and learn from them. adding them to your life experience and turning into an even better person who's more in control, more self-aware. you're truly an incredible human being. so hardworking indeed.

are you struggling to trust people sometimes? i know, it's a lot easier trusting yourself before anyone else. people are so easy to deceive you, take advantage of your trust and use it for their own selfish good. you're such a strong human being for still going through life just doing your own thing, and it's awe-inspiring to watch. i can see people almost being envious of that trait of yours, and maybe even intimidated.

are there some people who tell you you're too independent sometimes? i know, that can be slightly annoying sometimes. it's almost like.. yeah, there's a reason for that. when i needed any of you, no one was by my side. and now that i'm relying on myself, i'm too self-reliant? it can feel ridiculous and, trust me. i understand you incredibly well. but, could be there be moments where you can tell how this security you keep showing others, is slipping from you.. and you all of a sudden feel lonely? can that feeling of loneliness even surprise you from time to time, like.. you usually are so content being on your own, what the hell happened.. maybe you should realize that, sometimes it's okay to need some guidance from others.

time is an interesting thing, and sometimes it can slip by us quicker than we realize. i can strongly feel, that the universe has a very exact and special plan for you. i know, life in general can just get too much, things can confuse you, not knowing where life is leading you can make you feel so so insecure and unsure.

but i'm telling you, trust divine's timing. and realize you're in good hands. everything that is happening to you, is happening for your highest good. i know these moments of feeling so drained and not knowing where to go or what to look forward to, can be scary sometimes. but, even those moments can be so precious for you and your experience in life. i can see you looking back at your low moments and acknowledging how they were just another part of your journey, that the universe is taking you on. you're never being put through anything that you can not handle. have trust in the universe and divine's timing, and you will realize you're here for a reason. i trust and believe in you, i will cheer you on always. you're much more amazing than you know 💕

✧ pile 4 ✧ 5ofsw&kingofsw, devil&death, knofc, magic, 8ofw, wheel&10ofsw, 4ofsw&4ofc

hi there, welcome to pile 4.

so far, you might have the most demanding energy out of everyone. wow. you're definitely a force to be reckoned with.

do you sometimes struggle with always wanting to win, be the best at everything, maybe have a bit of an ego.. i can tell that you felt defeated by it a lot, thinking it makes you extremely selfish and egocentric. in a "am i going too far? is it really that serious?" type of way.

you should know that, using your charming powers to get what you want isn't always a bad thing. even the fact that you're aware of your toxic traits, already makes you much more mature and admirable than some others out there! i do believe it's incredible how you can recognize what is bad and what is good about this side of you. you're extremely powerful, being able to just transform your unhealthy habits into something more beneficial, is so impressive in my opinion. it's like, you are overly competitive? yes you might be, but that's what makes you stand out. that driven nature of yours makes you work on your skills and talents even more than others. so, don't listen to people telling you you're "too much". as long as you're not hurting anybody, you're doing absolutely amazing.

do you love to talk? i can see you being such a great communicator, you most likely are great at persuading people into things. honestly, i see you as such an endearing and charismatic person.. anyone who says otherwise is most likely just envious of your unique character. they're probably a little too boring themselves, which is why your outstanding personality makes them insecure. don't listen.

i think, you might be going through a period of powerful change, that might be scaring you right now. things might be going a little too quick and you're worried you'll lose control.. time can be a terrifying thing, and i understand you're trying your best to just stay calm. maybe you're even bluntly ignoring some signs the universe is showing you. maybe you're just too exhausted to put your mind to certain things, that could be very important for you to recognize. i know it can be tiring to constantly keep up, trying to stay so self-aware all the time isn't easy. but don't let any of these scary experiences discourage you. you have so much potential in you, and the universe has a higher plan for you right now.

whatever ending you had to go through, whatever changed for you so abruptly, was something the universe had planned for you for a long time now. don't exhaust yourself by trying to understand everything all the time, but also don't get discouraged and give up on your journey or your plans. you're an incredibly talented, magical and beautiful human being. life has a lot of amazing things in stock for you. continue devoting yourself to your plans, there will be so many fulfilling things coming for you. you're more powerful than you know, beautiful soul ❣️

✧ pile 5 ✧ kingofsw&tower, queofp, pagofsw, 9ofc, death, 5ofc, strength

hello, dear pile 5 person.

how are you doing? has something unexpected or sudden happened recently, that caught you off guard? i understand you really hate things falling out of balance, and feel like the universe is testing you right now. you feel like a lot of sharp thinking is asked of you right now, and might feel like even worse news could be coming. i have to say, i admire your ability to remain calm and collected, even during uncomfortable times like these.

do you feel like things were perfect just a moment ago, and there was this crucial and fatal moment of loss, that brought you a lot of sorrow? are you disappointed? do you miss someone? i get, that these sudden transformations must be hard to deal with.. like, i can truly feel your sadness. it's absolutely impressive for you to stay so strong. are you aware of how strong you are? you might feel like you took some things in life for granted before, and are now receiving your "pay-back" for that. were things too good to be true? but i'm asking of you, to not think about over what is lost too much. there are so many amazing and beautiful things awaiting you.

sometimes, it's okay to let your feelings loose and just cry everything out. but don't let yourself stay stuck at that point, and learn to move on. i remember when someone once told me "it's okay to cry. but once you're done, make sure you never cry for the same reason again." as hurtful as this might sound, what is gone is gone. you're so unbelievably precious and special, don't let your beautiful heart suffer too much. let some things go, embrace change, as uncomfortable as it might get. i promise, you will only gain strength from it.

i understand that you're getting wary, like every type of news you get makes you nervous. you're scared of things constantly changing, you not having any control over it. you might feel like you got too comfortable before, and are now realizing how difficult it is to deal with changes. but trust me when i tell you, changes are inevitable, and the earlier you practice the acceptance over that, the easier life will get for you.

i can tell you, one day you'll think back to this, and realize the changes were needed. i'm truly wishing you all the best in the world, and hope that your soul will get everything it deserves. you're an immensely strong soul. and not only i am proud of you.. but the universe is too. stay powerful, dear reader 🖤

✧ pile 6 ✧ hangm, 8ofp, queofc&3ofw, moon, 4ofc, 3ofc&5ofp

hi, pile 6 person. i hope you're doing okay.

have you been feeling like things have been very stagnant lately? perhaps your work has been very monotone. you're so hardworking and put so much effort into your craft or career. do you feel worried over it not paying off in the end? are you still waiting for the results, and scared that all the effort will go to waste? are you still waiting for things to finally change for the better?

i understand, that you might've even neglected your social life to an extent, where you're feeling the loneliness now.. it must be hard to feel so isolated and alone sometimes. you put so much of your heart and soul into working on things, that you can easily forget to sit back and let yourself enjoy life a little more. is it always "work hard" but never "play hard" for you? why are you so dissatisfied still? are the results not reflective of the effort you put into your work?

my god, you must be thinking so so much these days. i can just see all the question marks in your head, all these thoughts in your mind just racing.. all the confusion. i wholeheartedly understand how insecure it might be making you. it's actually crazy for me to think you're still so dissatisfied, despite probably being the most hardworking person in your circle. do you ever allow yourself to look back, and not just beat yourself up over how you're never enough, but realize how incredibly ambitious and dilligent you actually are? why do you always see the bad things about yourself so clearly.. but never pat yourself on the back?

you must miss this feeling of someone telling you, you did well. you're doing such a great job.. you must be missing the feeling of just having fun and being happy in the moment. not overthinking about everything all the time. but i will be the one telling you, you're doing so insanely well. and you deserve to be told that all the time, no matter what you might think yourself.. you're amazing.

i know, you're scared to feel guilty if you get back to having more fun in life.. you're worried things will take a turn for the worse. but i can tell you right now, no amount of work is worth sacrificing your happiness and wellbeing for. you're such a beautiful and deserving human being, tell yourself you're doing well, regardless of the results. have patience and trust in the universe working things out for you. i know, practicing patience must be so draining for you at this point. but i can promise you, hard work will never betray you. you can be extremely proud of yourself.

still, i'm asking you to put yourself first. put your health first, put your joy first. the happier you are outside your work-life, the easier it will be for you to not get stressed over everything. allow yourself more rest, allow yourself to socialize more. trust me when i tell you, you will finally get the emotional fulfillment you're craving so bad, if you prioritize your happiness, first and foremost.

i'm so proud of you, dear reader! and i hope you can let yourself have a day filled with fun times today, away from all the responsibilites. remember, you're doing amazing sweetie. *kris jenner voice* 👏🏻🥰

[cyor]

Jude Bellingham ideal type reading

General

•

A go-getter. Someone resilient. Someone that works hard to achieve their goals and ambitions. A person with drive and super passionate. Competent, trustable and mature. I see that he really can’t stress enough on people that are mature and “feet on the ground”, because Jude himself is someone grounded, so a no-bullshit individual is one of the things that he aims for the most. Someone inspirational, he wants to be amazed by his partner. Able to keep a positive mindset regardless of the circumstances and the failures. A bit spiritual as well. Maybe someone older than him. He really likes to feel that sense of pride and admiration for the person he likes because of their hard work. This is someone pretty similar to him and also his mother as well? He might view his mother as someone who is very wise and a strong presence (that he cherishes so much) in his life. Loyal, committed. Someone he can trust with his life.

•

Turn on’s

Very feminine energy. Intimidating. Neat and organized. I think Jude also likes those kinds of people that are always on his feet. To him that could mean that the person just cares a lot about him. Someone that doesn’t like negative energies and prefers to have a good laugh and time instead. Bright. He likes beautiful smiles and teeth. Family oriented and away from dramas. Stable person. Again strong and hard working. He adores it when his crush is someone that does something out of their life, almost like a stubborn person who’s workaholic/persistent about their goals. He might also like someone who has suffered a lot in their life and is searching for a light that will embrace them (him in this case).

•

Turn off’s

Of course, someone that is stuck, someone with too many problems in their life constantly and unable to get through them (specially if the issue is money-related. I think he’s been through situations where people just would constantly ask him for money) unstable people. Delusional people. Someone that makes everything about themselves and is unable to see through others. Overly-religious people. Energy all over the place. Failure, everlasting negativity. Laziness, sloppiness, poorly treated hair. People unable to move on.

[cupidvision]

𝕡𝕒𝕔- 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕛𝕦𝕝𝕪

—> how to choose? close your eyes, clear your mind, and open your intuition. then think about the numbers, the images, the feeling they gives you. then choose 🩵

dividers by @plutism @strangergraphics-archive

1->3

pile 1

your sign: 6, 7, leo, virgo, gemini, taurus, flowers, releasing

king of pentacles, the lovers, 7 of pentacles

i’m not sure why but i heard flowers, maybe you live near flowers, or you will receive flowers this month. i’m seeing that love is coming your way! if your already in a relationship then this person wants to take it further, maybe by making you their fiance! if your still in the talking stage, then they might ask you to be their bf/ gf soon. i’m also seeing that money is coming your way, but through hard work. consistency with working, diligence, and discipline will help you become wealthy this month. a lot of good things is happening this month. i also have a feeling of releasing, so maybe your guides are telling you to let go of negative energy

pile 2

your sign: 6, 7, 77, gemini, leo, aquarius, stillness, hard time communicating

the lovers, 7 of wands reversed, 7 of swords

when i was shuffling hardly any cards wanted to come out, so im seeing that there will be a hard time talking or saying what your thinking/ feeling this month. i’m seeing that you can be having issues with a possible partner, or just someone your very close with. im seeing that your drained this month, and you feel like giving up. you may have gone through some form of manipulation from this person, even betrayal. i’m sensing that this is why you’ve been feeling all these negative emotions. i’m also feeling that they make you feel less confident

pile 3

your sign: 5, 8, taurus, virgo, earth signs

page of pentacles, 5 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles

there’s so much earth energy here, so there can be a lot of grounding, ambition, stubbornness, materialism, sensuality, etc this month. i’m seeing you took a big financial blow. i’m also seeing that you feel insecure at this time, and you can feel alone. but im seeing that you have been manifesting more prosperity, and financial stability or support. if there is come kind of hobby you have that can make money then im seeing that you will be doing this on the side, to help you make money. i’m also sensing that you can be feeling very lazy this month

[luka-couffaine-ship-tournament]

Final

CAMPAIGN

Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

-They‘re just so good for each other. Luka is such a calming presence in Marinette‘s chaotic life and helps her relax when she feels anxious and unsure of herself, always willing to be there for her and offer a helping hand during tough times. Marinette has a deep appreciation not only for Luka‘s ability to play music but also hear heart songs, as if she understood immediately what he meant after listening to him play for the first time. They feed off each other‘s creative energy and are just generally so wholesome together. I could talk about them forever, they make me so happy!!

-Luka is the best boy, and deserves love from the girl he adores

-Luka/Marinette had 3900 works on AO3

-I just woke up and am too lazy to think of words for my favorite couple so here's some gifs as propaganda

Gif de gifs-misc

Gif de bizarrelovesquare

Gif de notasiren21

Gif de ouiladybug

Gif de kochengnoir

Gif de jeldraximo14

Gif de notasiren21

-

Oh my god

They are literal soulmates

in every regard

You cannot change my mind

And not only because Luka is best boy and goes above and beyond for Marinette and gives her the most beautiful love confession in the entire show

It is because they literally have the most special and unique connection from every couple in the show, not only romantic but also platonic

It starts off with captain hardrock, the first time they meet, they‘re a little awkward at first, until he invites her to sit and Luka plays out Marinette‘s heart

And she doesn‘t judge him or thinks he‘s weird or is confused. She gives him a look of curiousness and of genuine admiration and asks „how do you do that?“

She immediately realized Luka is special for his gift of hearing people‘s hearts. And I can easily imagine that people would see Luka as weird and cringe (like parts of the fandom did), so imagine what it must‘ve been like to get appreciation for something like that. She‘s impressed and wants to learn more.

They interacted for about two minutes at this point and they‘re already smitten by each other.They already have a wholesome dynamic that feels so realistic for two teenagers who are attracted to each other. Again, after two minutes of meeting.

And it goes on through the episode, speaking highly about each other and Luka basically self-sacrificing himself so Marinette can escape

(I‘m certain he knew Marinette would come back for everyone one way or another. And she did)

An amazing set up for an amazing couple🩷💙

From there on every time we see them together when they‘re (not to be salty) not undermined by another ship they keep being there for each other through hard ships

Their both artistic kids and respect and admire the other for it (See Silencer, the best episode of the whole show)

It also just shows that Luka isn‘t the center of Marinette‘s life. Instead she‘s a girl with ambition who just happens to have a crush on a guy. Silencer is her being the best version of herself and Luka doesn‘t actively try to change her. He‘s literally just existing around her. For show‘s standards that‘s incredible. It takes away the one thing people don‘t like about her, what more could you want?

And then when their music gets stolen, Marinette literally starts beef with Bob Roth, a super influential man in the industry who could destroy them both, just to save Luka‘s music from getting stolen! She’s not even afraid or second guesses herself, she just goes all in and threathens him to reveal everything on live tv.

Wife material through and through.

Which leads to the most wholesome confession in the entire show. Not only as an akuma

BUT LATER AS REGULAR LUKA

AND MARINETTE IS SO TOUCHED BY IT

And by the end of season 3, they give the relationship a shot. Without Mari pretending she‘s over Adrien, but with full honesty about her feelings. And that‘s really the most fair way they could‘ve gone about it. They don‘t promise each other wedding rings and kids, they‘re just two people in love who wanna create art and have them be muses for each other and just like each other without any pressure from outside. It really those silent moments where it‘s just them where Marinette is her best self and Luka is his best self.

They are so so SO GOOD for each other.

„But Blueberry, Marinette broke up with him and lied to Luka!“

RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME

The problems these two had ultimately were never intrinsic problems that they fundamentally don‘t work together as people, it‘s really outside forces keeping them apart. Had Marinette not been LB, they would‘ve literally had no reason for a break up and crushes on other people are things people can get over.

Plus, even as exes they keep being there for each other, having a wholesome and healthy friendship. That‘s a big deal! Nice hard feeling or anything, they just want what‘s best for each other, even if they aren’t a couple anymore.

And yet still look at each other like this

And just overall being super touchy with each other

And put the safety over the other above their own values, even though it means they have to lie about what they know. It hurts both of them but you know how it is, nothing hurts like true love. And yet they forgive each other because they never wanted to intentionally hurt each other

They‘re still SO in love with each other argue with a wall.

(Also it‘s this episode when Mari says „you always find the right words“ even though in Luka‘s introduction he says he‘s not good with words. I bet 1000000€ Marinette was the one which helped Luka be a better communicator with words. The support for each other always went both ways I know it they told me)

But even just as platonic buddies, look me in the eye and tell me that these two will not have each other in their lives forever, I dare you. If one of them jumps into danger, the other jumps after them. If one of them has troubles of any sort, the other will listen, because they know nobody will understand them as good as each other.

They‘re ride or die forever and I think that‘s fucking beautiful. So yeah folks, show the blueberries some love because they deserve the recognition just like they deserve each other🫐🩷💙

Thanks for coming to my propaganda ted talk

Luka Couffaine/Therapy

-Therapy... so much therapy

-As much as I ship Lukadrinette and all its sides, Luka/Therapy should 100% win, lol

-So many of the propagandas for other ships (outside of two or three) were about what Luka could do for the other person, not how they were the best match for him! That means our boy needs to go get some professional help (therapy) so he doesn't become everyone's personal 'fix-it' guy/partner!

TAG:

Luka/Marinette: @mikoriin

Luka - Twitter @Karma_sensei_

@lukacouffaineappreciation

[sapphic-agent]

One argument I have seen some of Bakugou’s stans or lovers of him will argue is that Bakugou fills the role of the person that’s always the asshole, to give the cast “variety” in personality. Or maybe not his stans would say this, but at the very least this would be used, I remember this for sure.

And I just find that lazy.

Why make a character ONLY an asshole for the sake of being an asshole to cross a checkmark off and to be that way throughout the ENTIRE series?

Because I know that if Inisde Out followed that mindset, NONE of the characters would be as interesting or enjoyable. ESPECIALLY Joy and Anger. Yes, their go to mood is reflected in their names, but we can see them experience other feelings as well, which makes them layered and dynamic characters.

Why not instead make situations where other characters make a choice that would ultimately make them the accomplice, or the source of the problem, or even the asshole, whether by choice or not?

Because in real life, whether we want to accept it or not, there’s probably at least one time in our lives we become an asshole or a jerk to someone, whether we were in the right or not, or we inadvertently became part of the problem. Even with the intent of being a truly good person, we may have at one time or another been that person to someone at sometime.

If Hawks had to do more questionable acts to prove he’s in the league with the LOV/ MLA and had to drag Tokoyami into it, and Tokoyami is so sure that what Hawks was doing was for the greater good, and kept going until he realized, ‘wait, this is going too far’ or ‘i can’t abide by this’ and he’s already neck deep in doing really shady stuff that hurts his image. Or if the traitor thing was done better and we see them knowing they are lying straight through their teeth and just have to keep the charade up. Or even moments where friendships are really tested, like when Iida pulled a surprise move on Midoriya during the Calvary battle. Just actions like that.

TLDR: You don’t need a stock asshole character for there to create conflict. You can have a cast of morally good characters and still make interesting conflict between them. You just need to put the actual effort in it.

Keep cooking🔥

Bakugou's assholery is just straight up boring because that's ALL he is. Just anger and ambition for the sake of anger and ambition. Yeah he's good at cooking and playing the drums, but we have no idea WHY he likes either of those things especially as they both require patience, which he has none of.

Having him into these hobbies could have been a whole thing, like maybe his dad taught him how to cook to teach him patience. Or maybe his mom signed him up for drums as an outlet for all his energy.

Bakugou is a boring character with no substance

[cursedbyastro]

for ur mc aspects i saw ur venus opposite mc post so next can you do venus square mc

[ignore this if u’re not taking requests <3 thank u]

© cursedbyastro 2022 - all rights reserved

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍

ultimately, the impact of venus square midheaven also depends on the other aspects in the chart such as house placement, degree, etc. please take this as an interpretation and not as fact. (so sorry it took so long to respond anon)

◦ venus represents love, beauty, desire, material possessions, values, how you express affection and love, social attitude, behavior, aesthetic, your taste, feminine energy, pleasures, self-worth, our style/how we carry ourselves, your expression of art, luxury, grace, etc.

◦ midheaven (mc) represents our approach to achievement, how we master ourselves, our life path, reputation, the highest point, public image, status, recognition, long-term goals, fame, ambitions, power in society etc.

◦ the square aspect in astrology often show challenges and conflict, but squares are also self-reflecting. squares can also propel action and initiate movement.

◦ indicates some form of potential for creative expression and artistic/creative talents especially in your career/public image/reputation or can be used to help reach your highest point 

◦ incorporating your values and passions into your career and reputation can help to propel you further 

◦ this form of artistic expression can help you truly be yourself and show the world who you are despite how they view you. 

◦ your beauty, art, self-expression, and venusian traits in general are very striking and in your face to the public eye or in terms of your reputation. it can't be ignored.

◦ you could be naturally kind or affectionate or you once were 

◦ could be a people pleaser aspect. to save face and not ruin how people view you, you glaze over situations and brush things under the rug to maintain peace. so it is important to establish boundaries in these spaces. not everyone is deserving of your kindness, affection, or understanding

◦ be careful of people that want to use your for what you have 

◦ personal fulfillment vs. social acceptance/recognition 

◦ you struggle to create a public persona that aligns with your desires. you may even me shunned or criticized heavily for what you value or like, your beauty, the way you express art, etc. this may cause you to conform to societal expectations and pressures that can affect you deeply 

◦ in the same vain, when you are at your highest, people may try to knock you down by attacking your venusian traits like your beauty, your desires, your romantic interests, etc. 

◦ OR it can manifest as people believing that you only have success, fame, and status because of your venusian traits like your beauty or how much you have aka sometimes money (NEPO BABIES LOL). people might even call you lazy.

can also cause conflict with your romantic relationships and your reputation/life path/career or might not align with it for example, getting your big break but its thousands of miles from your boyfriend who just proposed. 

◦ in some expressions, it can cause you to truly not give a fuck when it comes to how the public perceives you due to how the world has treated you, how the world tried to tell you how to be, and/or because of how it operates. you can sometimes believe the world is not worthy of your values or talents. never be ashamed of these. 

◦ you might hate trying to appeal to the world, so it could hurt your career especially if you are surrounded by people who are people-pleasers and want you to conform

◦ there is some conflict or stress between what you want/desire and your public image or reputation 

◦ it could also manifest as feminine energy in the public eye/in career/some affect on your reputation being negative in some way. it could also mean that you could have the sacrifice pleasantries for the sake of your career or that you are not associated with venus traits in the public eye/in your reputation.  

◦ maybe your not thinking big enough (you need to be thinking big BITCH, you’re thinking small) raise your standards and you can go far 

◦ the more confidence/self-worth you have = the higher you can go

◦ invest more in yourself to get to your highest point, not just in monetary value. the more time you put into your image and career, the more you will get in return. practice self-love and care for yourself more and truly know what you want. work on yourself. 

◦ confidence is the one thing no one can take away from you once you strengthen and maintain it  

◦ don’t rely too much on the opinions of others as some might tend to do. you don’t have to make people like you. 

◦ your opinion is the only opinion that should matter regarding how you view yourself. be yourself and don't try to be someone you are not because it can cause even more backlash. you bring your own unique light to the world that cannot be replicated and that should always be expressed. 

◦ work on balancing your values, passions, personal relationships with your public image, reputation, highest self to find greater harmony and overall fulfillment in both areas of life 

[overandundertarot]

Exam Period Tarot Reading

How's your exam period going to go? Lets take a look.

Pick a picture(1-4)

Pile 1

This exam period won't be as successful as you expect it to be. Regardless, by the time its over you'll be rejoicing and ready to crashland on your bed. At the beginning of this exam period/semester you may have had a lot of hope and ambition to give your 100% and receive your rewards in full, but it proved too much for you. You might not have reached the goal you had in mind, but you still did really well for yourself and should be very proud!!

Pile 2

Pile 2 are you intimidated by your course/ subject of study? You're giving off very timid energy. You might be looking for some help and are scared to reach out; just do it. It seems that everyone is busy right now and you fear no one has time available for you, or you are the one who is helping everyone else without having taken time to prepare yourself. Either way; the message for you is to keep trying and take a strategic approach; work smarter not harder. Something may happen this exam period that you perceive to be out of your control. Something that may make you say "Just my luck," or "Why does this keep happening to me." Be aware of being naive concerning other peoples motives; just because you wouldn't doesnt mean that someone else won't as well. Be careful of exam malparactice, it will backfire for you.

Pile 3

Pile 3 you're tiiiiiiirrrreeeeddddd. This exam period/semester has absolutely drained you. You may be wondering what it's all for; if it's really worth it. It seems that you're quite burnt out and even depressed. School has taken a huge toll on your mental health and this exam period just adds on to that. It may be the straw that breaks the camels back. Try to reach out and get help if you can; talk to your friends/therapist. It seems like the general advice of taking short breaks/taking careof yourself is not enough to solve this. Strong message is to seek help while you still can to make it easier/better for your future self.

Pile 4

Are you planning to cheat during your exams, pile 4? 👀 You're super smart, but this might make you lazy about the exam preparations. Honestly your mind is elsewhere, you may be trying to gain a leadership position in school . You are abusing your power in some way though and the funny thing is that it's completely unecessary. Are you trying to prove a point to someone? You could be acheiving whatever it is that you want to achive without going so far, but it gives you self satisfaction to have this control. Ease up and separate yourself from the situation. You may acting without really knowing why you do the things you are doing. I'm sensing that you are quite closed off as well. The origin of all this is not related to school; it only got tangled up in this along the way but became an important part. The message is to start working through your trauma/ emotions/ needs. There's something in the shadows you're trying to suppress. Working through this will bring you so much satisfaction and peace.

Thanks for participating in my pick a card reading! If you would like to book a private reading with me; you can do so here.

*The pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest.

[lightning-storm-studies]

No-stress Summer Learning Challenge 🌞

Where did the idea of the no-stress summer learning challenge come from 🤔?

I see do many posts about summer studying, that it makes me worried. People spend their time studying during summer holidays, already preparing for the upcoming semester/school year. It's your free time and, as someone, who already has a full-time job (and is trying to finish her thesis to get a master's degree), I can tell you, that you probably won't have that much free time in the summer once you start working. Yes, it's sad and unfair, but unfortunately, it's real 🙁. So please, take your time, use it for something else, than worrying about exams, preparing for school and getting stressed and burnt out before school even starts. Don't waste your energy sitting in front of your PC/laptop, or with a course book, learing stuff by heart, while the sun ☀️ is shining outside, children are playing and other people are going out with their friends and families. And if you already work full-time, but also are still a student, don't use whatever free time you have on summer to study even more. Unless you absolutely have to, of course (I'm in this kind of situation, I have to write my thesis during summer, because the deadline is in September), but even then, don't use all your time for schoolwork. Although I consider summer studying an unnecessary stress factor, there's a difference between studying and learning. Studying is for school, learning is for yourself 🙂. I'm not telling you to be lazy the whole summer, but to consider learning something, that doesn't include schoolwork. It may be related to what you're studying in college/at school, or it may be something totally different. It may be something about technology 🔌 (programming, robotics, electronics...), art 🎨 (drawing, painting, embroidery...), nature 🌱 (gardening, foraging, birdwatching...), music 🎶 (singing, playing an instrument, making electronic music...), foreign languages 🗺️, sports ⚽, cooking 🍲, baking 🍩, kintting 🧶, sewing 🪡... the list is endless. So, as an alternative to summer studying challenge, you can start a no-stress summer learning challenge.

The main rules 📑

The main purpose of this challenge is to find motivation to learn for yourself 😀 again, so no exams, no homework, no grades, just you and your goal .

You're free to choose what you're going to learn, based on your own passions, dreams and ambitions 😍, without worrying about other people's judgement and expectations.

It's supposed to be stress free 😌, so there are no fixed schedules or deadlines. It's up to you to plan your learning and decide, how long it's going to take you.

To stay focused, please choose one topic and stick to it. It doesn't mean, you can't learn anything else. Actually you should, because staying concentrated on one thing for too long can make you burn out quickly, but have one main goal 😎.

Remember to take proper breaks 🥱. Learning all the time will only make you sterssed and tired. It's not school, so you don't need to worry about any fixed due date or preparing for a test.

Don't be too hard on yourself and remember that mistakes are a part of learning 😯, not a failure or shame.

Preparing for the challenge and completing it 📚

Think about, what do you want to learn this summer. It doesn't have to be very specific at this stage. For example, it can be something like "I want to learn about cats 🐈", or "I want to learn to draw 🖼️", or "I want to learn about tea 🫖".

When you know, what you want to learn, do your research, to be able to set a more specific goal. Read about this topic, watch some videos, maybe try to find people, who have more knowledge about it, than you, and talk to them. Let the "I want to learn about cats" become "I want to learn proper cat care 😸", the "I want to learn to draw" become "I want to learn to draw manga 🎏" or the "I want to learn about tea" become "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea 🍵".

You've done the research, so now it's time to find your "why", because to stay motivated, you need to remember that you're doing it for a reason and that this knowledge is useful. The "I want to learn proper cat care" becomes "I want to learn proper cat care to make my cats healthier and happier 😻", the "I want to learn to draw manga" becomes "I want to learn to draw manga, because I'm interested in art and Japanese culture 🌸" and the "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea" becomes "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea, because I like tea and I want to make it even better 🍃".

Once you find your motivation, look for the learning resources 💻. It can be an online course, internet articles, scientific papers, books, YouTube videos, TikTok videos... whatever, depends on what you're going to learn. You can also contact someone, who is na expert in what you're learning, and ask them for help. While learning from blogs, videos, etc., remember to check the sources, to make sure the person, who created this content, knows what they're talking/writing about.

When you know your resources, plan the whole thing ahead 📝, considering your other summer plans (like traveling or going out with friends), to make sure, that you have enough time for learning and that the time you're going to spend working towards your goal is fairly evenly distributed to avoid stress and burnout, but remember to make your schedule flexible, so you don't have to worry about learning at a fixed time. Again, it's not school.

You've planned everything, now set reminders in your phone 📱 and/or write it down in a planner 📔 or on some post-it notes 📄... whatever works best for you to remember about your goal and the time you've decided to spend learning.

To minimize the risk od procrastination, divide the tasks into smaller tasks. You can write to-do lists ☑️ (either digital, or on paper), so you can see your progress and know exactly, what needs to be done.

To avoid getting burnt out 🤯, step away from what you're learning once in a while. Don't overwork yourself, you're not preparing for an exam.

To ensure you have enough energy ⚡, take care of your health, both physical and mental. Take breaks, sleep long enough 😴, go out with your friends, stay hydrated 💧, exercise 🏃🏻‍♀️, spend some time in nature 🌲.

Last, but not least: remember to post regular updates about your progress on your blog. It can be every day, every three days, once a week... you decide. It can include photos, but doesn't have to. Just make it regular and tag it with "no-stress summer learning challenge" or "no-sslc" 😊.

[blueikeproductions]

I’ve been seeing debates on whether Hasbro should do a remake/continuation of G1’s cartoon. While most have said no for one reason or another, citing the poor reception to MOTU: R and the mixed reception to X-Men in particular, I’m more curious on the matter. While I agree we don’t need it, part of me really wants Hasbro to do it just to see what they’d do with it.

I’ve seen some point out there wouldn’t be toys to sell for it, but my rebuttal is that’s what Legacy/Prime Generations is for. Basically just have this hypothetical show be the WFC/PW equivalent. One MAJOR stipulation: it must be tonally in line with the original cartoon and Transformers Devastation. Make this an all ages, but especially kid friendly show. None of that nonsense PW/WFC did. In fact keep those writers away from it, bring in Simon Furman, Flint Dille & Bob Budiansky to throw in some sexy adjectives and be script supervisors/editors to the new staff.

As for the plot, it depends on what they’d do: full remake-AU or continuation. The later would be simpler I think, just following up on what Galvatron and Zarak have been up to and the Autobots’/humanity’s reaction to it.

No matter what they’d do I feel like Hasbro would insist on lite retcons that include the 13 Primes and their Relics, which in turn fuel Galvatron and Zarak’s ambitions, while Optimus and Hot Rod have shared premonitions about the history of the Prime lineage, revealing in the cartoon universe, the thirteen primes were the prototypes the Quintessons developed after the Trans-Organics, with the Prime relics being Quintesson tools the Primes inherited after the Quints were driven off Cybertron. The Quints aren’t particularly happy their own tools are being uncovered, let alone seeing Galvatron using the Forge to upgrade his troops into Micromasters, Action Masters, & Pretenders. It becomes a race to see who collects the relics, with the Autobots determined to stop the Quintessons and Decepticons from abusing this ancient power. All the while, Solus Prime, Alchemist Prime and Quintus Prime are watching from the sidelines, the last survivors of the ancient Primes. And because Furman, there’d be a bit in here about Grimlock being a vessel for Onyx Prime temporarily, lol.

A clean slate AU could be done any number of ways, though my stipulation would absolutely no Allspark plot, but instead maybe combine elements of Dark of the Moon and Devastation where the factions are looking for the Ferotaxxis, which possess the data necessary to restore Cybertron by producing Synthetic Energon to whoever finds it first. The Ferotaxxis is unearthed by humans meanwhile, who study it and the unearthed Nova Prime, seeing a technological boom as far as the 80’s/90’s are concerned (similar to the Bay films and Sumac Systems in Animated). Nova isn’t particularly pleased at being poked and prodded by what he deems a lazy inferior species, and like Bay Sentinel concocts a scheme to screw over humanity, Optimus’ Autobots and secure the Ferotaxxis to gift Cybertron Earth’s energy. Because Cybertron is all that matters, the devil with anything that gets in the way of it.

The Autobots human friends would be Spike, Carly and Chip, the children of scientists and engineers working on Project O-Part; the O-Part, the Ferotaxxis, reacting to the Autobots and Decepticons presence on Earth.

The plot would then extend to the lineage of the 13 Primes and their relics, as they were things Nova and the Ferotaxxis were privy to, leading to the Autobots and the kids from stopping the Decepticons from getting their hands on the relics, with another wrinkle being added that some countries already found some like Carbomya, and won’t surrender them easily…

Like I said this concept can go any direction, but for a pivoted AU, this is just how I’d do it, going by what I assume Hasbro would still want with the 13 Primes being a component. Elements of Skybound would probably be here too, like Spike and Carly being those designs in particular.

But I think continuing where The Rebirth left off would be the better option, being the easiest to work with and with the already admittedly shoddy continuity of the G1 cartoon, you could pretty effortlessly add aspects of Skybound, IDW (and by that I mean characters like Nova, Rung, Rubble, Termagax, Three Fold Spark, etc) and the modern 13 lore.

Will do they do it? If they’re desperate enough, absolutely, but I don’t know if we’re entirely there yet. It’s getting closer and closer though.

[hendolish]

hello lovely, how's your week going? 🫶🏻

am feeling a bit crushed by the Wales result so if your requests are open atm and you're feeling it, wondering if I could have an angsty drabble to match my mood? would ask for Wales nt but afaik you don't write for them, so England nt?

been noticing Rice/Chilwell getting closer again after years (they haven't been like this since 2018) so could it be about them realising feelings they may have been neglecting or ignoring? and that they've been sidelining each other and their shot at a relationship for other people or their ambition? struggling with anger and regret over the lost potential and wasted time? and perhaps addressing all the elephants (Chelsea, Mason/Jarrod/Jack, Euros selection) in the room? dgmw they look glad to be reunited in training and having chance to reconnect, but when the cameras are off is it so easy? tbh just want to see these lads show some other interesting emotions in fic that aren't either baseline statically happy (Dec) or depressed (Chilly)

or really anything you want to write for them is perfect and much appreciated if you have the time and wish, always love your work x

hello!! 🫶🏻 my week's been pretty busy as you can probably tell by how long it's taken me to get around to writing this prompt haha, but thank you so much!! hopefully this will cheer you up a bit, i tuned in to the wales game after the england match had finished and witnessed the heartbreak 💔 those boys deserved better !!

declan rice/ben chilwell - take a chance

The training ground buzzes with energy as Dec and Ben find themselves drawn back together after years of separation. It's a reunion tinged with both excitement and trepidation, emotions swirling beneath the surface as they exchange fleeting glances across the pitch.

For Dec, the sight of Ben brings a rush of conflicting feelings – longing mixed with regret, desire tempered by hesitation. He can't help but wonder what might have been if they had been brave enough to explore their connection when they first met.

Ben's presence is like a constant ache in Dec's chest, a reminder of the bond they once shared and the opportunities they let slip through their fingers. He finds himself stealing glances whenever he thinks the other isn't looking, his heart skipping a beat each time their eyes meet.

As they train together, Dec can't shake the feeling of missed chances hanging heavy in the air. Every touch, every shared moment only serves to deepen the longing that simmers just beneath the surface.

In quiet moments between drills, Dec's mind can't help but wander to what could have been – lazy mornings tangled in sheets, whispered conversations in the dead of night, stolen kisses hidden away from prying eyes. But the reality of their situation weighs heavily on him, the knowledge that they've both moved on, pursued other paths, leaving their feelings unspoken and unresolved.

It's in those moments of solitude that Dec allows himself to entertain the idea of what could be if they were brave enough to take a chance on each other. But fear holds him back, the fear of rejection, of ruining the friendship they've worked so hard to rebuild.

As they linger in the locker room after training, the air between them is thick, a silent reminder of the emotions simmering beneath the surface. Dec wants to reach out, to bridge the gap that has formed between them, but the words stick in his throat, unspoken and unacknowledged.

Ben's the one to break the silence, his voice low and tinged with regret. "Dec, I- we wasted so much time and I can't... I should have said something sooner."

Dec nods, his own frustration bubbling to the surface. "I know. I've thought about it every day since we drifted apart."

Their eyes meet, and in that moment, they both know that they can't continue to ignore what they feel. Despite the uncertainty and fear that hangs between them, they're determined to confront their emotions head-on and finally give their relationship the chance it deserves.

And as they stand there, facing each other, Dec can't help but think back to their days in the Chelsea youth teams, the promise of their friendship cut short when Dec was dropped from the squad. It's a bittersweet reminder of the time they lost, but also a testament to the strength of their connection – a connection that has endured despite the years and the miles that have separated them.

Deep down, Dec knows that they've both had their share of distractions over the years – fleeting romances and unspoken feelings that have kept them apart. He can't help but wonder if Chilly ever had something with Mason or Jack, just as he himself has shared a connection with Jarrod in the past.

But now, as they stand on the brink of something new, Dec is determined to put the past behind them and focus on the future – a future where they can finally be together, without fear or hesitation, and embrace the love that has always been waiting for them.

♡

[holy--milk]

TGCF modern AU

I should be working on my master’s thesis right now, so in the typical me fashion I’m devoting my time and energy to making up silly TGCF fic scenarios instead fdshjdsjdshjds

Xie Lian meets a teenager at a bus stop at night who introduces himself as San Lang and tells him that he ran away from home after a fight with his family and now has nowhere to stay. Naturally, Xie Lian is like “No way you’re spending the night in the streets” and brings him to his cheap ass flat.

They live like that for a few days, with Xie Lian spending most of the day at work while San Lang takes care of his run-down flat for him by doing repairs (he turns out to be quite handy) and cleaning because he wants to do something nice for this nice weirdo that took him in. In the evenings, they have dinner and chill together, with Xie Lian coming to appreciate the teenager’s company more and more.

It goes on like that for a while until one day, when they go grocery shopping together, San Lang gets cornered by a shady-looking man with an eyepatch who starts going on at him for “throwing a tantrum like a fucking child and running away”. Seeing this, Xie Lian immediately intercedes and tells the man to leave the kid alone or else—

The shady man just kinda stands there dumbfounded, looking at this unassuming guy half a head shorter than him, acting as if he’s both willing to and capable of whooping his ass right there in the cereal aisle at a supermarket. Then he leaves without saying anything.

On the way home San Lang is being uncharacteristically quiet, and once they arrive back at Xie Lian’s flat he admits that that was his elder brother – Hua Cheng – who’s been taking care of him in place of their parents. He also tells Xie Lian that the reason he ran away from home in the first place was them having a fight over San Lang’s “laziness” and lack of ambition.

It turns out that their parents were neglectful and abusive, so at the age of 16 Hua Cheng emancipated and moved out with his two younger brothers (the other one being E’ming) in tow, eventually getting custody over them. It was pretty hard for the three of them in the beginning, but in a few years Hua Cheng somehow managed to land a good job that allowed them to live comfortably (San Lang never asked what exactly he was doing because he lowkey suspected it was some shady business).

Despite his background, over the years San Lang came to rely on his brother’s steady income and enjoy a “rich kid” lifestyle, not giving much thought to his education and future career. Eventually Hua Cheng, who had had to work hard to provide this kind of life for him, blew up and accused him of being a selfish lazy asshole, so San Lang got mad at him and ran away.

In the end, San Land admits that was childish of him and, while Hua Cheng can be an overbearing asshole sometimes, ultimately he’s always been a good brother to him, so it was shitty of him to run away and make him worry. He texts Hua Cheng to pick him up and goes back home with him.

Xie Lian feels that he’s going to miss San Lang, whose company he’s come to enjoy over the past few days but agrees that that would be for the best.

However, when Xie Lian comes home the next day, he sees the familiar man with an eyepatch waiting near his apartment building. Hua Cheng approaches him and apologises for causing a scene the previous day, then offers to pay for the inconvenience of having to host his brother. Xie Lian refuses the money, saying it was no trouble at all, but invites Hua Cheng in.

Hua Cheng accept the invitation and the two of them have a little chat over tea. Hua Cheng complains about San Lang acting more and more rebellious lately and slacking off at school, making his grades suffer. He says he wants San Lang to get into a good college for better chances of getting a well-paying job afterwards because it’s not like he’ll be there forever to provide for him.

In a sudden bout of inspiration, Xie Lian offers to tutor San Lang on the subjects he struggles with at school. He may not be a teacher but he was a top student in both school and college, and since he and San Lang already have a good relationship, he believes he’ll have easier time getting him to listen and put in effort.

(The real reason is, he wants to keep spending time with San Lang, who he thinks is a smart and capable kid.)

(He also may or may not be intrigued by this Hua Cheng.)

Hua Cheng, although doubtful at first, ends up accepting his offer.

I still need to figure out where it would go from there, but in the end Xie Lian and Hua Cheng end up spending time together and falling in love in the typical Hualian fashion (obviously Hua Cheng ends up being a massive simp). San Lang and E’ming are torn between pushing the two of them together (because they want Xie Lian-gege to be part of their weird little family!!!) and fighting with Hua Cheng for Xie Lian’s attention and affection.

[hwnglx]

for dear anon who requested ᰔ ᩚ

(to clear up misunderstandings, this is a reading on what in another person could turn the members on and off. i realized my wording might cause confusion, sorry about that)

stray kids' turn on's and turn off's

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

bang chan

turn on's > charming and eloquent (someone who's a very good speaker and communicator) > tactful and strategic -> isn't too overwhelming in their approach and acts carefully > unique looking -> stands out among other people > foreigners or people with a completely different background > knows the value of hard work > courageous and outspoken about things they believe in > has an immense amount of passion for something -> borders on obsession (he needs someone extremely invested in what they do, otherwise they wouldn't understand his lifestyle) > also, obsessed and clingy with him (he likes feeling needed and the thought of being the only person they see)

turn off's > way too selfish and greedy, no consideration for people in need of help > keeps being negative and dwelling on the past > lets go of things/people too easily -> gets discouraged fast > gets scared of the real world and escapes every challenge or obstacle in life > tactless communication -> says wrong thing at the wrong time, doesn't know how to articulate themselves smartly and adjust their words to the situation > takes everything personally and gets defensive fast

lee know

turn on's > laidback and calm energy > isn't extremely competitive and doesn't get greedy over useless things -> knows when to give in > ideally non-famous and ordinary people (he likes the thought of his partner providing him with some normalcy) > very observant and notices small details about you > knows when to let go and doesn't cling onto things (like someone who knows things come and go and is accepting towards the harsh realities of life) > isn't interested in gossiping, stays away from childish drama

turn off's > plays useless games with you (like playing hard to get) > is too delusional and unrealistic > keeps whining and crying over how awful their life is (lmao i can see him being taken aback and thinking “am i your babysitter”) > unreliable and doesn't keep their promise (someone who tells you they'll do one thing and end up doing another) > unwilling to acknowledge and work on their toxic habits (he just hates pretentious people who act all smug when they're not, he thinks it's very cringy because he can see through it)

changbin

turn on's > humble and grounded > a lot of potential and enthusiasm for something (he likes it when someone has motivation and goals, he wants to help them reach whatever they aspire to be) > has love for everyone and spreads kindness -> goes through life non-prejudiced (he likes pure people) > thinks and acts with and from their heart > considerate of people's needs -> doesn't put themselves above anyone and knows how to be happy for others > doesn't rush into things and approaches everything with patience (someone who thinks before acting) > responsible and takes care of the people they cherish

turn off's > lazy and doesn't set themselves up to any standards (just goes through life without any goals or ambition) > doesn't take life seriously, makes inappropriate jokes > is unnecessarily strict in how they treat others (he thinks why be hurtful if you can get the point across in a considerate manner) > doesn't know how to have empathy for people > very egocentric > moves on too quickly (it'll make him wonder like damn did i even mean anything to you if you're already over me)

hyunjin

turn on's > guarded, careful who they get close to (doesn't share their business with everyone) > deeply empathetic and caring nature, good listener (i can tell he finds beautiful and calming voices attractive) > fiercely loyal and committed to the people they love (he gets insecure about not being enough for his partners, so he needs the guarantee that you won't leave) > very determined and driven to fulfil their desires (is very eager and direct in their pursuit, he likes feeling like you're obsessed with him) > capable of carrying responsibilities and burdens on their shoulders -> doesn't get tired quickly, makes it look easy > helps him understand himself better (he wants someone who can make him feel confident & comfortable in his skin)

turn off's > doesn't understand the weight of deep connections -> gets close to many people (can make him feel like he isn't special) > hides and runs away from their emotions > holds endless grudges and never lets go of past occurrences > doesn't have an opinion of their own, just follows the crowd > keeps being dissatisfied, complaining and nagging at him (this would make him very self-conscious, he wants someone who's accepting of his imperfections) > dependent on others to help them -> doesn't know how to heal themselves and self-sabotages

(tbh, i can feel that hj wants someone who fills all his weak spots, because if he was with someone too similar to him, he feels like that'd be a recipe for disaster)

felix

turn on's > cheerful and full of energy, ability to light up the room > self assured and confident > very protective and willing to do anything to defend their loved ones (wants someone more direct and unafraid than him, he's too much of a people-pleaser) > carries a lot of inner wisdom and always has good advice > self-aware and reflective of their own actions and words > very different to him (whether that's in looks, personality, mindset. he gets intrigued) > a lot of inner strength and resilience -> doesn't falter easily > plus physical strength as well > puts plenty of thought into their relationships and feels the need to look after their loved ones, worries about him (he wants to feel safe and taken care of)

turn off's > doesn't care about boundaries and acts recklessly > bad manners > doesn't take care of their health and takes it for granted > always negative and drags others into their negativity > plays victim all the time and complains a lot (especially about others) > lacks drive and motivation in life > is too narrow-minded, traditional and conservative -> judgemental of minorities and people different to them > deliberately uses sharp and cruel words to hurt people and push their buttons or provoke them -> keeps starting conflicts > badmouths people too much

jisung

turn on's > has strong capacity for a deeply emotional bond (doesn't take relationships lightly and is emotionally involved) > pushes him to be a better version of himself > has a comforting and soothing effect on him -> makes him feel safe and understood > helps him acknowledge and work on his toxic habits (also loves him regardless of him not being perfect -> helps him accept himself the way he is) > very romantic and affectionate (compliments, words of affirmation!) > self-assured and headstrong -> doesn't get beat down easily (fire sign energy) > is tolerant and understanding of his circumstances and lifestyle (accepting the fact that relationships aren't that easy for him and dating him can come with certain struggles)

turn off's > is too possessive and clingy -> doesn't give him space > makes him feel incapable or inadequate (triggers his insecurities and his self-doubt) > acts like they're his parent (lol like someone who babys him too much and doesn't acknowledge he is a grown man) > gets too controlling and acts like they have a say in his life > is too strict and direct with him (he needs some sugarcoating sometimes) > too materialistic and focused on superficial matters (like looks, money, fame etc.) > is very hot and cold -> makes him believe one thing and then says something else, keeps him on his toes too much > is too conservative and stuck in the way they see things -> not open and understanding of different perspectives

seungmin

turn on's > knows exactly what they want in life and what to do to get it > independent and self-reliant (especially when women are very self-sufficient and in no need of anyone, he thinks it's admirable) > strongly stands by their belief or opinion and isn't fazed by external influences > very creative and passionate (especially musically, he likes it when people express themselves in an artistic manner) > trustworthy and committed to everything they do > can be their own boss and doesn't allow anyone to commend them around > elegant, well-mannered and polite

turn off's > keeps themselves trapped in their own delusions and refuses to open their eyes to reality > spoiled, takes precious things and people for granted > too attached and obsessed about materials or money -> doesn't know how to appreciate what they have (especially family, he definitely wants someone devoted to their home) > thinks they're levels above everyone and acts entitled > has something negative to say about everyone and is too judgemental > too antisocial and boring

jeongin

turn on's > free-spirited and fun to be around > has an optimistic outlook on life and doesn't always take it too seriously (i can tell he really likes someone with a great sense of humor who can make him laugh) > observant and curious about him as a person > makes him feel confident and special (a lot of compliments) > natural charisma and strong presence (main character energy, attracts gazes wherever they go) > but! okay with making themselves smaller and stepping back for him to shine and be the main character (lmao like telling him he's so much better than them etc.) > isn't afraid of arguments -> fearless and headstrong (he doesn't like scaredy cats)

turn off's > too prideful and ego-centric > overly serious and uptight all the time -> boring and doesn't know how to take a joke (like buzzkills, someone who keeps ruining the fun) > too focused on marriage and the longterm (he just wants someone to have fun with and see what comes out of it, he doesn't consider marriage right away) > surrenders and gives in too easily -> doesn't put up a fight > too obsessed about their own career and overly focused on remaining stable (cheap and boring people)

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

watching them to get ready and my god my❤️(him saying what a barb and “Penelope” “I am a woman”still gives me the kinda buzz and serotonin nothing ever could)told my co worker she only needs to watch this to be ready for polin szn since nothing more interesting happens otherwise expect the Edwina cute Ben scene!

I knew polin was that ship but I didn’t knew it was that good and Colin Bridgerton the man you are? you will always be so mf loved by me! The heart you have for eveyone always considered what you have been trough losing ur father, Marina breaking your heart yet been so forgiving and understanding and wanting more for her then just be content, being there for pen and her family because they have no male figure protecting them, him always seeing himself so low bc wdym “ if Penelope can see me that way maybe I can too”how dare you?You beautiful perfect man I love him so much

How can he not see himself as the best perfect boy he is? When Marina Pen eveyone in rom sees him as that? I know we won’t get this explored in s3 but I need him to explore this insecurity he has and why ofc we know why but we need to see it! the way he’s always so soft delicate whenever he speaks to people but even more so to people he cares for andk way more with pen how they talk about dreams and ambitions wanting more in life no one in the whole show has ever talked that much about their aspirations in whole 2 szn like they do I love them I love him guys y’all don’t understand how much!

the way he talks to pen like an equal in world where men are thought they aren’t it’s so insane to me how pen polin fans could ever want this man to beg or grovel when all he has ever done is show how much he cares and adores pen and values hee words and takes them to heart and all y’all can say about him is how dare he ignore her or flirt with others or he should grovel bc he didn’t see pen before are U kidding me I wish character literacy was thought to bton fandom bc he really is the only complex male character in the whole show actually  

besides George in whole universe actually they only have complex female characters obvi bc its written by woman but Colin being the only male character with layers upon layers he’s what they call an onion character the more you peel the more layers u get just brilliant character the fact he left saying he wanted to get to know himself better and he comes back with this cool guy attitude he’s always been charming but the shy funny type and now he’s giving this fake confidence and he literally tells pen you can learn because he himself thought himself that

Bc of all the pain and suffering he’s been through and him swearing off love making him this new but colder kinda type bc he’s closed himself off oh the writing of his character is just phenomenal for a show that has horrible inconsistent lazy bad writing with so much plotholes and with no understanding of their female relationship the sure put all their energy into making Colin this complex amazing character oh how I would di* just to see more of that in s4 since s3 is about C opening up his❤️for love but all the other stuff is just lying dormant in him for now waiting to burst out soon

Honestly if I went trough what Colin did and I loved somone who didn’t love me back and they broke my already chattered heart into more tiny pieces oh the kinda horrible as*whole I would’ve been sleeping and just looking down on people woman bc one broke my heart and yet hee not because he’s most like Edmund and he’s still to good for this world oh I’m actually gonna k1ll myself because I can’t handle this he’s to good my best boy! I actually would jump off my window if I didn’t have plans in 8 hours and again in a month! Ik just gonna cry about my love for him to I wake up tomorrow for polin season yup that’s it!

Are we sure Colin is a Bridgerton 😂 I’m joking because he’s to good to be one of them but then I remember his dad is amazing and his mom is the kindest most beautiful queen hyacinth is great Fran seems great Gregory Ben seems also great it’s really just the oldest daughter and oldest son And Eloise but she’s just more of annoying self centered bc of her bubble bra* with unchecked entitlement and privilege behavior bc of her other siblings being amazing and parents being world greatest parents whole family is with Daphne Anthony being exception so far!