#i have no clue how many of these tags actually work yikes

[theloganator101]

Just read a fic praised by the MHA fandom as being 'anti Bakugou' and 'anti Endeavor' it is don't get me wrong but there is a part where the messaging becomes awful and the story goes downhill hard.

Aizawa confronts Shoto and Izu on some concerning behaviour they have shown because of their trauma. Then Izu tells him essentially 'Our situations are shit. You can't change mine or risk Bakugou becoming a villain. You can't change Todoroki's unless you want the HPSC after you for ruining Endeavor and having the public question heroes.'

In this fic, Aizawa hears this. Then literally just nods, agrees and decides to do nothing...

Like ignore the fact that the messaging to the reader is pure ass for a moment, what the fuck kind of teacher would react like that?!

Bakugou becoming a villain due to facing consequences of being an abusive shit? Let him. Being a villain would be HIS choice and for him to face the consequences of down the line. Besides he's not an AFO level threat, most heroes could K.O this fucker (especially Izuku which would be cathartic to read) if Hori weren't playing favorites.

The HPSC going after Aizawa for exposing Endeavor as a child abusing shit and the public questioning all heroes because of it? Well, if the HPSC are going to react like that instead of rightfully condemning Endeavor then they SHOULD be questioned. All heroes should be scrutinised because how many other heroes would have similarly got away with being child abusing shits with that logic? How is that a bad thing? In fact, if they did this it would take the wind out of Dabi because he wouldn't have SO MUCH of a valid point about Endeav not facing consequences for being a abuser.

God, the way Izuku and Todoroki in this are content sacrificing their childhoods on a pyre in this to protect these two abusive shits is so, SO sad. It's even sadder that the writer paints this as a noble choice instead of recognising it being a flawed one made by two traumatised children.

Then there is the fact that Aizawa LETS them instead of telling them, 'no you both deserve a happy childhood too' or 'no I will fight for you.' This paints him as an lazy and AWFUL teacher but also a AWFUL person point blank. The fic I don't believe did this intentionally because it isn't tagged Aizawa bashing which makes it worse...

Todoroki and Izuku's other friends and the other adults in their life also all try their best to cheer them up and fail because they don't have a clue what is going on. They also become noticeably sadder as a result which is just depressing.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so depressed and angry now having read that and needed to vent somewhere.

I'm not the type to be a hater on someones work and I wanted to know your thoughts.

I... don't think I ever read this fic.

But from what you explained... yikes.

Why do these writers want to portray Bakugou becoming a villain as the worst possible outcome? Like I get and I'm all about giving people a chance to change for the better, but you also have take into context what that person has done and if they're WILLING to take that chance and actually WANT to change!

But from what we've seen of him, he never shows any signs of wanting to change for the better and just started holding back his brash behavior. In fact I'm even more convinced that once he's an adult, he'll just start putting a front for the public to make himself look good while concealing his true personality behind closed doors.

I think the only way to make Izuku saying this phrase work is if the story acknowledges what he's saying is wrong, have some of the characters point that out to him, and have one of the adults say something like this to him.

"If he ends up becoming a villain after this, then that's his decision. We'll be there to apprehend him and keep him from hurting anymore people."

Or you can make it into more like it's been ingrained in Izuku's mind that Bakugou is a strong fighter and that if he becomes a villain, than it's all over and no one can stop him. Only to be proven wrong when the news cover Bakugou's capture and how easy it was to take him down.

And as for the second part with Endeavor, god that logic is so fucking flawed...

Did the writer of that story NOT read through that or thought twice how that probably wouldn't make sense if the reader put two seconds into thinking about it? It wasn't like the HPSC was helping him conceal his abuse or anything, that was ENTIRELY on him!

And if he does end up being exposed? So what? They got plenty of heroes to spare and I'm sure they would want to save face to keep people from bashing on them for allowing such a person to be in a position of power.

Both Izuku and Shoto shouldn't have to sacrifice their childhoods to prop up and protect these horrible people in their lives, they both need to learn that people like that needs to be cut out from their lives. And even if they're changing, they aren't obligated to forgive them and keep them close... it won't make you a horrible person for choosing not to.

That's one of the problems I keep finding in this fandom, they have a black and white view on things that they think forgive and forget is the only best option and that choosing not to will make them into a horrible person for holding grudges.

[violetfolgi]

Tommy & Freddie.

before he was a mean sad drunk, Tommy Shelby was a happy drunk.

thanks a lot to @knivesplushearts ' writing for the inspiration and headcanon!! 🖤

[rosequartzstarswrites]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

27

What's your total AO3 word count?

351,699

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.

Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.

Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.

Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.

Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all. 

Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)

[refinedbuffoonery]

@improvidus​ thanks for the tag boo <3

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 14

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 106,078 

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? I’ve only finished + published MacGyver fics, but I have a whole folder of other unfinished stuff, primarily for Sarah J Maas’ three book series (Throne of Glass, ACOTAR, Crescent City). 

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Riley + Sunglasses + Undercover (aka my claim to fame lol)

Quarantine Moments

Looking Through A Window 

I + Can’t + Lose + You

Fridge Meeting 

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Out of my published ones...R+S+U (unbelievable that I didn’t get cancelled for ending it the way I did lmao). But in a million years when I finally finish it, Broken Like Me won’t exactly have a happy ending (it’ll be bittersweet at best...I know because I wrote the ending first). 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I+C+L+U has a good ending, so do all of the holiday fics I wrote last year. But I think the most satisfying happy ending will be the ending to Flawless (I already wrote this ending too). 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? I don’t do crossovers! Honestly I don’t read them either. I think they’re off-putting and usually fairly OOC, but if the characters all exist in the same universe (or it’s just written really damn well) then a crossover is more palatable for me. 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Hell fucking yeah I do. The emotionally charged, very plot-relevant, little-to-no cringey vocabulary kind. But not much for this fandom because the audience for it is very small. But for the fantasy romance book fandoms I (mostly) lurk in??? Definitely. 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I always try to! Except sometimes y’all make predictions that are a little too accurate and I have to avoid responding to those comments so I don’t accidentally spoil something (yikes). 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nope (thank god). Which is a good thing, because I’m not actually as nice as y’all think I am, and I’d throw (virtual) hands. 

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of! On the flip side, I’ve definitely accidentally stolen lines/phrases from people. Every once in a while I’ll reread a fic and go “THAT’S WHERE I GOT THAT FROM!!!!! whoops.” 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Does asking people to translate like 3 lines of dialogue for Flawless into French count lol? (real answer: no)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Listen. I swear to you that this pirate AU exists. We have a whole chapter written. I have a good 50% or so of the plot outlined in my head and in our shared google doc. However none of us have worked on it in months so......

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Not to out myself as the kid who was obsessed with Percy Jackson but....PERCABETH. They really invented love. Second place is Rowaelin (from the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas), and third place is MacRiley (no shade to my Team Spy Siblings friends though....tbh if the show hadn’t set them up romantically I never would’ve even considered it). 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? That aliens fic I’ve teased for a solid year. The goal was to see if I could write an episode of the show (which I totally think I could), but I just don’t have a plot for this one. Only the resolution and some comic relief. But the basic premise is that Mac, Riley, and maybe Bozer (aka our resident nerds) get sent to examine a UFO that crash-landed in the middle of fucking nowhere, which of course sends everyone down the rabbit hole of alien theories, but the UFO ends up being something.....significantly less cool. If any of you gen writers want in on this, hit me up and we can co-write it. 

16) What are your writing strengths? DIALOGUE. FORESHADOWING. also filling in the nuances of a plot once I have the bare bones in place. 

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Brainstorming said bare bones of a plot lmao. And describing settings is the bane of my existence. 

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Super dope as long as a) the reader can understand what’s happening via context clues or brief translation in the main language (presumably English) b) it’s used to develop the plot/character(s) in some way, i.e. a spy’s helpful skill or part of someone’s cultural background. 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? MacGyver is the first (and only) fandom I’ve finished and published fics for. Everything else (many of which I started pre-Mac) isn’t developed enough to necessarily count. 

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? FLAWLESS. But I will say that I’m far more attached to LTAW than I ever could’ve expected going into it. So.....both? 

Tagging: goddammit idk I wasn’t paying attention to who already got tagged. so if you’re reading this and you write fic consider yourself tagged. <3

[jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists]

🥳🌈🐸 FIC WRITER TAG GAME🐸🌈🥳

hello everyone! i was tagged by the absolutely lovely @palimpsessed to take part in this, so here i go!

(ps i’m not gonna tag anyone, just say i tagged you if you see this and wanna take part ;p) ((pps i’m actually gonna tag @faeryphilia and @mostlymaudlin tho. my babes <3 my mutuals <3 my dears <3)) (((ppps you can still say i tagged you. muah have a nice day :3)))

How many works do you have on AO3?

21 works :) although, some of them are just rants and thank you letters, so i don’t think they all count :)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

about 60,082 words!! holy shit balls!! that’s crazy!!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

one so far; which is carry on. i do plan to write for other fandoms tho ;p

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Cool Runnings and Sucking Cock {E}

Hey, Bartender? {E}

How Many? {E}

Vibrators, Breakfast, Goats, and More! They Got It All At The Copier Store! {E}

Monsters Under The Bed (And Outside Of It) {T}

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

of course yes! i absolutely love when i get interaction from my froglings!! 🐸 it’s a huge endorphin high anytime i get so much as a kudos! i love you all so much :D 🥰

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Well, Then You Burn {M}. It’s a major character death, so it’s pretty dang sad. it hurt me to write and i hope it hurts you to read :D

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, but i fear it constantly. i look back at some of my stuff and honestly? the shit i say to myself is already bad. i don’t think anyone could say something worse.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

it’s practically all i write, bestie. i am a whore. a slutty frog, if you will. i’ll write pretty much anything, but i do prefer to have some d/s undertones or just straight up bdsm. i am an unholy frog, but i also like my sweet and fluffy making love sessions too.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i fucking hope i have. that’d be the biggest damn compliment. or the biggest insult. like, oh i’m so good someone stole from me haha 😎. or they thought i was so irrelevant they could get away with it 😞. yknow?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

not as far as i’m aware, but if so, let me know!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, but i’m totally down to work with anyone! i am going to be beta-ing for @angelsfalling16 tho, so that’s super cool! hit me up if you need absolutely anything to do with fics and i’ll try my best to be helpful! i’m sinful, but i’m a good mother frog 🐸 😌

What’s your all time favorite ship?

depends on what i’m obsessed with. rn it’s snowbaz, but it used to be hinny.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

yikes there’s so many. i have over 100 wips in progress rn but i’m too scared to talk about them bc i don’t want to ruin the surprise when i post, and my fic for the carry on too many aus fest is really kicking my ass. i have no idea how i’m going to get it out in time and i’m terrified i won’t be able to. IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY DONE AND POSTING IS TOMORROW WTF

What are your writing strengths?

no fucking clue. i mean, i THINK im good at dialogue? maybe?

What are your writing weaknesses?

fuck plot. i hate plot. plot can suck my ass. why can’t i just write dialogue and have people understand the picture in my head??? why am i so specific and picky about word count??? why do i hate simplicity???

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i’ve done it before and will most likely do it again! i’m not fluent in anything other than english, though, so if i ever mess up, make sure to tell me!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

so, that’s a good question. the first fandom i ever wrote for was dora the explorer. i’ve been writing fanfic for a LOOONG time. the first fandom i ever PUBLISHED for was carry on. i was sitting in the hospital, writing away, and i thought ‘huh. i should publish this.’ and that was that.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i don’t have a favorite fic that’s published, but i sure as fuck have a favorite. it’s a long and grueling process and i’ve spent so much time with it, but i love it and i love the concept. it’s not even close to done, but i’m still excited.

[sockablock]

(prev) + (start) + (next)

Chapter 11: Make Yourself at Home

“So, this is the place you were talking about, huh? I’m not going to lie, it’s much better than I expected.”

“Aw, thanks! It’s my momma’s cabin. She owns a bunch of places around here, but this is the closest one to school.”

“A bunch of places? What a lucky woman.”

“Wait ‘til you find out what else she owns.” Nott draped her coat over the nearest hook. “Lucky doesn’t even start to cover it.”

The rest of the gang filed in through the door.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Beau began with a grin, “I wouldn’t mind staying the night in a—"

“Anyway,” Fjord coughed into his hand. “Isn’t there something more important we should talk about?”

“That is right.” Caleb turned to Molly. “Namely, what it is we should do about…well, you.”

“Is that so?” Without looking back, their newest cabin-mate strode into the living room. He threw himself across Beau’s favorite chair. “Good luck with that, then. I’ll be here in the meantime.”

“In the meantime? What’s that supposed to mean?” Beau followed him in and made a mental vow to steal her seat back as soon as possible.

Molly waved his hand. “I was under the impression that your…angel would be taking care of things. That’s her new job, isn’t it? To mask me from bikers?”

“Only for now.” Yasha met his gaze with a stern frown. “I cannot look after you forever. I will not even be here for much longer.”

“Which would be our second problem,” Caleb sighed. Behind him, Jester—and for some reason, Caduceus—danced around looking for bedsheets and extra toothbrushes, the hallmarks of an excellent host.

“Right,” said Beau. “We sort of left off on a…I hate to say it, but sort of a dead end.”

“Really? Weren’t you working something out?” Nott asked. “What about all that stuff with the dictionary, Caleb? And those star charts?”

“Those are only a start,” he shrugged. “With our current level of information, it is not enough. Like I said…when was it now, yesterday?”

“It felt like years ago.” Fjord combed dirt out of his hair.

“Regardless,” Caleb continued, “we need more clues. Something. Anything. At this point I would even take subjective commentary. Like the way the sun felt. Or if there was much sun at all, Yasha.”

“You mean like if she was on the moon?” Nott asked.

“I mean like if there was a lot of shade. Like in a jungle.”

They turned to Yasha. She sighed.

“I’m not sure, I…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “…I think…yes, the sun. It…felt warm.”

When she opened her eyes, they were still staring. “Er….”

Caleb came to her rescue. “Okay, perhaps I should have been less literal. Sorry, Engel, but that was not very helpful.”

“Pajamas!” Jester spun back into the living room. Behind her, Caduceus was holding a tray of tea, topped off with a little jar of honey. “Here you are, Molly!” She leaned over the couch. “And let me say again, welcome to our house! Demon of not, I think you’re great. I’m excited to hang out with you some more!”

“Ah, you’re a darling,” he flashed her a smile. “I can already tell you’ll be my favorite. Although, perhaps, I think I’ll be better company once I’m clean. If you all are going to keep talking about…whatever important thing you’re talking about, I’d like to use this opportunity to shower.”

“Oh, yeah, here,” Fjord quickly stood up. “You can borrow my shampoo, the bathroom’s there—"

The two of them wandered off. Caduceus handed everyone else their mugs.

“Let’s keep going tomorrow,” Caleb said, trying on his most reassuring smile. “Who knows? We might find something after all. And with more time, Yasha, you might regain more memories.”

It was small, but Beau noticed Yasha skip past his gaze to stare deep into her cup.

“Maybe,” she said. “I hope so. Otherwise…”

“It’ll be okay,” Caduceus smiled. “In my experience, the best things come with time.”

— — —

Beauregard lingered by herself in the hallway outside their room. Currently, Jester and Fjord were giving a freshly-washed Molly the grand tour of the cabin while Caleb and Caduceus—with varying degrees of contribution—rearranged their room to accommodate him. And since Nott was calling her family in the living room, this would probably be Beau’s best chance to talk to Yasha alone.

She breathed in.

Nearly every conversation they’d had since the initial fall had ended in a tangled mess. Not to mention, Yasha’s situation had changed dramatically in the last few hours. On top of that, Beau was still roiling in guilt for lying to her all those days ago. It was very likely that neither of them would be in the right headspace for a heart-to-heart, and that wasn’t even taking into account how nauseous Beau felt at that very phrase—“heart-to-heart.”  

Something else was poking at her too, something she’d had to shove aside earlier but now couldn’t shake away: it had been a while since she’d seen Yasha’s wings, but she knew for a fact that the first two times, they had been…well, they had been white—

And coupled with the fact that the angel only recently had started acting so anxious to leave, whereas before she’d been confused, but way more relaxed…

Beau breathed out and stared at the floor. Maybe it was time to stop wondering about what her own motivations were. Caleb, Fjord, and Jester had all made valid points, but truth be told, she was starting to get the sense that right now, how she felt wasn’t as important.

Still, the question did remain. What would she rather do?

“Yasha?” She tapped her knuckles on the doorframe. Sitting up, and dimly framed in moonlight, Yasha’s mighty silhouette turned.

Maybe she’d always known the answer.

“Beauregard. Hello. Is it time for bed?”

“No, uh…no, probably not for a while.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I think Jes is showing off her mom’s jewelry. Fjord tagged along—it’s probably to be polite, but also to make sure Molly won’t steal anything. They’ll be at that for an hour at best.”

“It is good for Fjord to be careful,” Yasha nodded. “Though I am more worried about your souls being stolen than jewelry.”

“Yeah, uh, that thought also crossed my mind.” She made her way inside. “I mean, I’m mostly…not worried at all, but—wait, should I be worried? Do you think that’ll happen?”

Yasha thought about it. “He already knows your names, which is…not great. But as long as you do not make any promises, I think you should be fine. Do not shake his hand. No matter what he says.”

“Really? Like…metaphorically?”

“Either. Both. Deals are bad.”

Beau sat down on the wooden dresser beside Yasha’s makeshift cot. Even at this angle, Yasha was still taller.

“You’ve said stuff like that before,” she remembered. “You told me that ‘your kind’ had been corrupted that way. Right? Because they dealt with us?”

“Sort of. There is less blame on you, it is…just that mortal souls are powerful.” Yasha ran her fingers through her hair. “Basically…the short version is that there are pieces of light that exist inside you, light from the very essence of our world. It fuels us, and it keeps us alive, but too much and it can drive us mad. We lose sight of everything else in pursuit of more and more and…more of that light.”

Beau let her words sink in. “Yikes.”

“Yes. That is why we have so many rules. Why demons are dangerous. Why I am risking so much by staying here.”

Beau tilted her head. “Do you feel mad?”

Yasha didn’t answer right away. And then Beau steeled herself, she said—

“Your, uh, wings—"

Yasha went still.

It would not have been hard to miss. But Beau had spent so much time together with her in the last few days that when her breathing stopped, her shoulders stiffened, her eyes affixed to the sheets—

“Shit, I-I’m sor—"

“You know what is happening then?”

Yasha’s voice was a quaver. Beau paused.

“I…really don’t know a lot about angel stuff,” she said slowly, “but I do remember what I…saw. And I know that it isn’t the same as what I saw the night you landed. And then…I started thinking about how panicked you were about ‘interfering,’ and…well.”

She avoided Yasha’s gaze. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? It’s because I convinced you to stay with me—with us. Instead of just letting you go.”

The silence lingered on. Beau bunched up the edge of her shirt and waited, dreading, the answer—

“…I don’t know.”

Her head shot up.

“You…what?”

“I, ah.” Yasha’s shoulders drooped. “I really do not know. Nothing like this has ever happened before. On the one hand, in all my visits to Earth, this is the first time that I ever talked to mortals. But…at the same time, I—I don’t actually think I’ve done anything to…to justify a fall.”

Beau opened her mouth. She closed it again.

“So…huh. Then that’s—you really don’t know.”

“No,” Yasha sighed. “Although, you should know that I do not think you could blame yourself in any case. I would not have stayed if a part of me did not want to, Beauregard.”

Beau actively worked to shut down her facial features. Her reply, a pitched, “Oh.”

“One thing is definitely certain, though,” huffed Yasha, unaware of the battle raging in Beau’s mind. “The longer that I remain on Earth, the…the worse things could become. My wings are not…all that good, but…I still have them. That means I am still an angel. That…I am still an angel.”

Beau nodded, and managed to re-focus. “Then…then I bet it’s alright,” she said. “I mean, you aren’t out of time. And you know how stubborn we all are, there’s no way we’ll give up now. We’ll make sure you find your way home. You’re one of us now, Yash, we’d do anything for you.”

Yasha’s mouth twitched. “Thank you, Beauregard.” It was a smile. “For everything. Really. I…can never express to you how grateful I am. How lucky I was to land in front of you.”

Beau’s eyes flew wide, and Yasha backpedaled. “I just mean—no—well, no, not no—I didn’t—that was—that is—all of you. Everyone. You and your friends. Are good people. I…thank you.”

“Well, hey,” Beau’s arm shifted as if to almost reach out, and then she thought better of it. “My friends are your friends too,” she said, quite awkwardly, instead. “You’re one of us. And we’re friends. We’re…all friend, here.”

“Right, er, right,” managed Yasha; it was getting hot in their room. “Yes. Exactly. We are friends. Uh—"

In a fit of absolute panic, she stuck out her hand. Amazingly, Beau took it.

Their hands shook. Neither of them looked.

“Th-thank you,” said Yasha, when they finally broke away. “Besides, um…you know, I’m not leaving yet. I still don’t’ know where I’m going. There’s also the, uh, the—Mollymauk. I do not want to fly him across the world with me.”

“Right,” said Beau. “Yeah, that’s…we…we’re all kind of following your lead on that one.” Then she hesitated, and when Yasha blinked back in confusion, Beau suddenly inhaled so sharply it almost hurt.

“Look, uh, look, there’s something I gotta say from a while ago—it was a, well, a—Yasha, I owe you an apology.”

A beat.

Yasha stared at her. “Me?”

“It’s…really dumb,” Beau blurted out. “Not that—no, not that—you weren’t dumb, I was, I did—I lied to you. Back then.”

If anything, she looked even more perplexed.

“You…did?”

“Sort of,” her eyes fell to the mattress. “I, uh…when you told me about auras, that one time, I…freaked out and told you a lie. I, uh…I don’t know if you’ve noticed at all, but I kind of like being…mysterious. God, no, not mysterious, it’s just…look, I was feeling conflicted about some stuff. Stuff that I wasn’t…ready to share. So when you told me that you could see my aura, I panicked. I told you it was shitty of you to do that, which…that was really shitty of me.”

“Oh,” said Yasha. “Is that…then, does that mean humans are okay with me reading them?”

“I’m pretty sure humans aren’t aware of it enough to actually have an opinion. The point is,” she sighed, “I lied to you. You had way more reason than I did to be confused, and upset, and…and just unsure. But when you reached out to, like, understand me, I pushed you away. I…don’t ever want to do that.”

She risked a glance up. “I’m sorry.”

And then, to her shock, Yasha nodded.

“It’s okay.”

Beau blinked. “It…is?”

“Er…yes,” said Yasha. “I think it is. You were just being protective of yourself. That is alright. Especially if you…were not ready to share things. And you did not mean to hurt me, yes?”

“Did I hurt you?”

Yasha considered this. “To be honest, um, no. You didn’t, not really. And if you did, then I forgot about it when Caleb told me I was missing 6,000 years of my memory.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. Er…is that ‘yikes’?”

Maybe it was the relief, the sheer drop from such panic, or maybe it was the way Yasha’s eyebrows were bunching, but Beauregard could not keep herself from bursting out into laughter.

Yasha looked startled at first, but she recovered when Beau gave her a grin.

“You know what? I think it is time for bed.”

“What? Oh,” Yasha still looked puzzled, but she nodded. “Oh, er…sure. Yes. No problem.”

— — —

There was just one problem.

Jester groaned, pressing her face into her pillow. “I take it back. I take it all back. This is the worst thing in the world and we should call that circus right now.”

“Can’t,” muttered Nott. “Don’t have their numbers.”

“Maybe we can put up posters,” Beau suggested. “Let the evil bikers know where he is. They can have him.”

There was a rustle in the darkness. “Yasha,” said Nott, “are all demons like this?”

Another rustle followed. “Er…I have heard that the most fearsome demons plague their victims with visions of hellfire and ruin. But I think there are many ways to torment people.”

“Where the does not shutting up come in on that list?”

Yasha also had a pillow on her head. “The very top, I think.”

From the other side of the all-too-thin wall, a flood of music poured through. Fjord had made the crucial mistake of telling Molly to “make yourself at home,” and since Molly’s only home had been a crowded RV full of mostly-drunk carnies plunging down the highways of America at midnight, he’d said it was impossible for him to sleep without some “background noise.”

“Oh, sure,” Fjord had said. “Background noise should be fine.”

“He’s a guest,” sighed Jester. “We basically kidnapped him. I felt bad, and I didn’t think…I didn’t think he’d be like this.”

“Maybe someone will come to our rescue,” said Beau. “Maybe Caleb will finally snap and kill him.”

“Oh, if anyone would do it, it would be Caleb,” Nott agreed. “Fjord’s too weak. Or…maybe Cad, the quiet ones are always murderers.”

“It wouldn’t be murder,” Beau called sleepily. “It would be a civic duty.”

“Maybe we can plug our ears.” Yasha rolled over to look at the other girls. “Do any of you have some beeswax?”

The deep pause that followed would have been silence if not for the blaring—let’s have a party there’s a full moon in the sky, it’s the hour of the—

“I wanna die,” said Nott. “If he doesn’t, I will.”

“I can try to find some bees if I must,” Yasha pressed. “I feel guilty. I am the one who dragged him into your lives—"

She jumped when something brushed the side of her leg.

“We don’t need bees,” said Beau, who was slapping around the edge of her mattress, totally blind. “Here, I’ve got extra. Everyone, come get some. Earplugs. They’re not enough, but…helps.”

Yasha recovered quickly, reaching over to accept the little pieces of orange foam. There was some general shuffling and muted “thank yous” as Nott and Jester acquired pairs as well.

“Nice,” said Beau, rolling over on the floor. “Adds a pop to your monochrome.”

Yasha couldn’t tell whether that was addressed to her. But when it seemed clear that Beau had just passed out again, she carefully pressed the earplugs in. Then she sat there a moment longer, staring at her leg, surrounded by the muted blare of a hundred trumpets.

Off in the distance and dulled, Nott said, “I’m gonna go threaten to cut his head off.”

— — —

And then, eventually, there was quiet.

— — —

See:

Not…not a storm at all. Not even a lingering cloud.

Instead, there is just the blue and endless sky.

Somewhere, she is…lying down. The sun is warm. She is…somewhere. She is somewhere where a field of green-turning-gold-turning-russet wild grasses ripple slow.

There’s a gentle brush against her leg. She looks down. It’s a little white flower.

It’s…it’s being held in…someone’s hand.

Her head jerks up.

“Wait, who are y—"

— — —

Her eyes focused on a face.

“Huh?” said Beauregard. “Was that for me?”

Yasha sat up so quickly that Beau had to jump backwards. “Whoa, there—"

Yasha ignored this, whipped her head around, took in two unmade bunks, a mess of blankets, golden sunlight—

The curtains by the window rippled slow.

“I…but…”

“Yasha?” Beau frowned. “Hey, Yash, is everything okay?”

“But I…there was…” Her hands dug into the sides of her face as she squeezed her eyes shut. “There was…a field,” she bit out. “Grass. Under the sky, and a flower, and a p—"

She froze.

“Uh…Yasha?”

A…person. There had been a person. Someone—but who? It was someone…important…

And then the thought—no one can know.

“N-nothing,” Yasha blurted, though she didn’t quite know why. “It was…it was nothing. Er…but there might be something more I have for Caleb to work with.”

Beau’s concerned expression vanished. “Oh, what? Oh—hey, that’s awesome!” She closed the distance, even went to clap Yasha on the back. “That’s great! He’s gonna be totally thrilled! And that’s one step closer to you getting to…go. Oh.”

They both fell silent. Through the door, the clattering sounds of the rest setting a table.

Beau’s hand fell back to her side.

“Of course, we always knew you were gonna leave at some point. And…you know, you were ready to bolt, like, two days ago, so it stands to reason that you…should be happy to leave…”

Yasha looked up at Beauregard.

A person. Someone important…

“Beau, um…Beau, I think I—"

The door burst open. Nott shoved her head in, eyebrows raised.

“God, what’s taking you two so long? Cad made pancakes! C’mon, we’re waiting!”

— — —

A thick slab of blueberry-laden goodness landed in the center of Yasha’s plate. A sweet, buttery, slightly tart aroma wafted through the kitchen.

“So, I think I still have a bit more catching-up to do, don’t I?” said Molly, who was sitting in a chair with a slouch so bad it looked like his spine was broken. “For one, it seems like I’ve missed the book club meeting that made you all friends.”

“We met in college,” said Fjord, rubbing his eyes. “Not a book club.”

“Same difference,” Molly shrugged. “It’s just that I can’t help but feel a tad bit excluded from your pre-existing lovefest.”

“It would be easier to include you if you knew how to be quiet sometimes,” Nott grumbled.

He stuck his tongue out, and it was stained with blueberry.

“I think we are overdue for a proper meeting anyway,” said Caleb, spearing his pancake. “A lot has changed in the last twenty-four hours. We should review our goals and priorities.”

“Get home,” said Yasha. “Do that by finding ȣɿɕƺᶋɷ.”

“What the hell,” said Molly.

“Later,” Caleb sighed. “Right, okay, that’s item one on our list, our continuing mission to find Iothia. And once we do…?”

Yasha shuffled. It was quick, almost missed, but she glanced at Beau.

“Er…then I…leave,” she said. “I fly there, and I can return home.”

“Aw, really?” Jester pouted. “You’re really just going to leave right away?”

If anything, Yasha’s next expression was even more complicated. She fidgeted again. “I, er, sort of…sort of have to. As…quickly as possible, I think.”

“Man, that sucks.”

Yasha managed a tiny smile. “I know.”

“But you can’t go until you’ve taught me repression,” Molly said, quickly waving his fork for attention. “I need to get back to my circus, my dear. And I can’t do that safely until I learn to hide.”

“Which means you’ll be sticking around a little longer, Yasha.” Caduceus down the plate of pancakes and took a seat. “Isn’t that nice?”

“And you’ll be hanging out with me,” Molly grinned. “I expect we’ll get to know each other very well.”

A loud thump shook the table and everyone’s heads suddenly turned to Beauregard.

She blinked. Then she looked down.

“Shit, uh…sorry. I think I missed my plate.”

“Jesus christ,” said Fjord. “That’s an inch into solid wood.”

Beau gripped the handle of the knife she’d sunk into the table. On the second try, she managed to yank it free.

“Sorry, uh…sorry again,” she said. “Jes, your mom can bill my dad.”

“Are both of you rich girls?” Molly asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” she shot him a deep scowl. “You just worry about…about learning to shut up your aura, or whatever. Then Yasha can get on with stuff that’s actually important, and you can finally leave us all alone.”

“My, my, someone’s touchy, isn’t she?” Molly folded his hands over his lap. “Anger issues are bad for your health.”

“You know what else is bad for my health, asshole? Not being able to fucking sleep ‘cause someone needs a rock concert every night—"

“Okay, okay, okay,” said Fjord, holding his hands up so fast he almost knocked over the milk. “Alright, I think that’s enough, you two. Molly found headphones eventually, right? And now he knows better.”

“What am I, a child—"

“And we’ve got to be a little more understanding of a man who’s just had their whole life turned around. It’s not every day we find out we’re not even human.”

“Not a man either,” Molly added.

“Ah, sorry—"

“It’s alright, dear.” He sighed. Then, with a swoop of what could only be described as exaggerated magnanimity, he turned to Beauregard.

“Truce? Not surrender, just armistice.”

She rolled her eyes, but did concede. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Back to the matter at hand, then,” said Caleb, as that piece of breakfast theater concluded. “Yasha. Even though your sense memory from last night was…for lack of a better term, undescriptive, it gave me the idea that we could perhaps try to use images of natural places to trigger more. Jester’s mother has a number of picture atlases in the study, after all. Perhaps we could start there today.”

Yasha lowered her fork. “Actually…while I was asleep, I remembered something more.”

This was followed by a chorus of clattering and hurried exclamations, the loudest being Nott’s, “What, really?!”

“Er…yes, but it was very small,” Yasha said. “I…remembered lying down. In a field of golden grass. And, um…there was a flower. It was, um, white.”

“Is that all?” Caleb said after a while.

She hesitated.

Then, “Yes.”

“Well, that’s not too bad,” said Caduceus. “It might even be a great, actually. Most flowers only grow in specific climates anyway, and if we’re lucky, it might only be native to a certain area.”

“Ooooh, oh! What did it look like?” Jester asked. Then her eyes lit up. “Oh—Yasha, you should draw it!”

She jumped out of her chair and was running back from the living room with her sketchbook before they even processed this.

“And you’re getting so much better at art too,” she squealed, “this’ll be great practice—"

“Jester, are you sure—"

She pushed Yasha’s plate aside and handed her a pencil triumphantly. “Close your eyes! Picture it! Then draw!”

Even Caleb seemed reluctant to argue with Jester. He shrugged and said, “But also please describe it to us, please.”

Yasha put her fork down. She took the pencil.

“I’m really not good,” she said, weakly, but she did her best to envision the flower. “Okay, um, it was small…very small, and it had seven little points like this…”

A moment later, everyone leaned in to see the drawing.

“Aw, it’s so pretty!” Jester beamed. “Good job!”

“Ah—thank you.”

“Any idea what it is?” Fjord glanced at Caduceus. “Have you seen this before?”

Cad scratched his chin. “I can’t say I have, but…it shouldn’t be that hard to find. You said it’s white?”

“And small,” Yasha added. “As big as someone’s—someone’s fingernail.”

“My momma has tons of books on flowers,” Jester supplied. “Maybe those can help?”

“I’m sure they will. And Caduceus is right,” Caleb added, “this is an excellent jumping-off point. If we have this drawing too, Yasha, I can take over from here. That will give you time to help train our newest...divine associate.”

“You don’t have to lay on the flattery that thick,” Molly smiled. “Though I appreciate the compliment.”

“I meant that literally.”

“Why, thank you—"

“I can help you too.” Beau was determined to silence Mollymauk quickly. “Again, it’s not like I’m doing much anyway. At least this time there’ll be pictures, right?”

“Are you sure?” Yasha leaned backwards. “If you don’t want to—"

“No, no, really. I’ve told you, Yash, and I’ll say it again, I really don’t mind any of this. I want to do this. And you can’t stop me.”

Yasha met her gaze, then nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Exactly,” said Beau, and raised her chin in a display of satisfaction. Then she hesitated, turned towards the rest. “But if the rest of you don’t feel like helping, I mean…I’m a deadbeat, but Fjord, you’re supposed to be reading for a summer class. And Nott, you’ve got stuff for your job, right? And Jes—"

“How about we clear up the living room and do what we need to do together?” Fjord asked. “Solidarity. It’ll be like…like study hall!”

“I’m game!” said Nott. “As much as it sucks, I should probably get on that.”

“Me too,” Jester clapped her hands. “It’s not as fun as fishing or introducing Yasha to fries, but studying won’t be so bad if we’re all together!”

Molly stared at her incredulously. “Are you—really?” He turned to the rest, aghast. “You’re all really going to sit down and do…do work? Willingly? Nevermind, this is much worse than a book club.”

He leaned over and nudged Yasha in the shoulder. “My goodness, aren’t we lucky to be divine? I’d rather do anything than, ugh, read.”

—

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN!

[ghostsofmemories]

Insect Poison Update #2

So, life has been a little wild in recent weeks. I got a new laptop, finally, got a kitten (we named her Nemo), and have been getting ready to go back to school (yikes). This chapter has actually been done for about a week, now, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-esteem issues regarding my writing, so it was necessary to let this chapter relax before I passed over it a second time. The chapter is pretty short, just under 1700 words, but I plan to *eventually* go back over it and add some more description or something, because I think the scenes might be lacking in that. Jack is the giant takes place the night of the last chapter. Spoiler alert: we’ve got some gay in here.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about or would like a refresher, feel free to check out my chapter 1 update or the WIP introduction. And with that, let’s get on with it, shall we?

Chapter 2 starts with Jack. the father of the house, coming home from a few long days of his trucking job.

For the Bennett family, they functioned much better without Jack’s presence. He was was always tired, difficult to analyze, and preferred being on the road to being home with his family. There was a very clear, silent awareness that he had several affairs outside of his relationship with his wife, and it was something most everyone ignored in light of Emily’s dependency on narcotics and from time to time, drugs like acid and ecstasy. Those were more of a hobby than an addiction, though, similar to some of Jack’s more frequented mistresses upstate. It seemed that everyone knew their secrets with the exception of each other.

Upon arriving that night, he went straight for the bathroom. He spent a long while there, washing himself with a diligence that was unusual for him, and backed only by the possibility that it had been a long week and the heat relaxed his aching muscles. He was tall enough that his hair brushed up against the top of the shower head, tired enough that he only opened his eyes to grab a bar of soap.

Ramona had never been sure what to make of her father. In her head, there were two portraits of him: the man she knew, and the man she had imagined up while he was away. Usually,  he would arrive home to knock the kinder, softer portrait off the shelf and shock her back into reality. That is, until he went to work again and she began to rebuild him.

So I’ve basically accepted at this point that the plot of this book is... all just familial conflict, intrinsic motivation, and weird psychology. All the external conflict is with each other, and if I’m being honest, the book hardly has a plot at all. However, I have also accepted that I’m okay with that and actually a little excited about it!

When Ramona saw him, a bit of the portrait faded immediately. He was taller than she thought he was, had more muscle than she remembered, was a direct picture of the type of man young girls were told to avoid just in case. 

Still, that didn’t dictate his words. Or actions. He was capable of being a tall, strong man and still being a caring and kind father. If it was a stranger they’d seen in town, Lori would tell her not to judge a book by the cover and then, taking a second look, walk briskly across the street with her.

I just really like exploring familial relationships, so why not do more than one at a time? Anyway, here’s the fun part of the chapter (AKA the gay part). While writing this scene, I decided Lori should probably be aged from 14 up to 16 in order for this scene to really make sense. Not that 14 is too young to understand your sexuality, but I just personally don’t see Lori acting on these feelings before she’s 16.

A house holds many things, but its most important possessions are its secrets. The Bennetts thought they were full of secrets, but they made very little effort to hide them from anyone, with the exception of each other.

However, Lori wasn’t one to wear her secrets where they were visible, or to keep them where her anyone could reach. They were tucked away between the pages of the Nancy Garden novel hiding under her bed, living in the Polaroid that never left the guitar case of a girl Lori found herself loving more every day, despite her all her efforts not to.

I love Lori so much. I’ve written quite a few characters in my time, but she might be my favorite just because she’s so?? Pure?? I love all my evil bastards in this story but she’s such a nice refresher sometimes.

Mercy was sitting on the dew-covered bench, her sweater underneath her. Lori took a minute, before she was spotted, to admire her. Her hair blended itself into the darkness of the night, and the moon turned her brown cheeks a pale blue. She was wearing a deep black shirt with a jean vest, and the shorts she was planning to wear to bed.

After too deep of a breath, Mercy turned sideways. As if on cue, she got up and dried a spot on the bench for Lori, the pale spot where the statue used to sit.

“Hi,” Lori said, making her way over. Her eyes couldn’t decide whether to look at Mercy or avoid contact, so they darted wildly back and forth, unsure of a point of focus. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Come sit,” Mercy said, smiling and shaking her head. “How are you? I haven’t seen you all summer.”

“We talked on the phone yesterday.” She smiled while she said this, did her best not to give into the instinct to make fun of her girlfriend relentlessly.

“But I didn’t see you.”

“I’m good.”

“You’re beautiful,” Mercy said, taking Lori’s hand. They had been doing this long enough that it didn’t feel wrong when it was just the two of them, they’d read Annie on my Mind enough to know that this world was theirs, too.

Not sure if you’re aware yet, but I don’t think I’ll ever write a book without at least three queer people in it (I don’t want to reveal who the third queer character is just yet, he’s still in development (AKA i don’t know his name yet ahaha)).

Did I hear you ask for some flashback? No? Have some anyway.

As they sat there together, Lori couldn’t help but think about their younger childhood, all the things they didn’t understand until they started reading things they weren’t supposed to. Every moment in middle school that made an earthquake of the space between girl and friend.

Lori could remember, better than she could remember yesterday, getting in trouble in 6th grade for braiding Mercy’s hair from the desk behind her. Dark and thick and long, back then, but even before they knew what it meant to love a girl, they were taught it wasn’t allowed. It’s just hair. It’s just a braid in her hair, why does it matter? She had taken her hands away slowly and grabbed her pencil, left it unmoving against the paper. Three quarters of a braid hung unfinished down Mercy’s back, and Lori watched as she sealed the end with the hair tie around her wrist, their math teacher somehow keeping eyes locked on both of them at the same time.

I love my girls. Mercy’s full name is Mercy May Devera, because I thought Mercy May sounded cool.

So yeah. This book has no plot, but that’s cool because I’m just here to have a good time. If you enjoyed this update and want to be added to the tag list, you can send an ask, message, or reply to this post (Tumblr is finally telling me when I get replies!

Insect Poison tag list: @coffeeandcalligraphy​, @alicewestwater​, and @fliiik-art​

[lettersinscarlet]

Dusk Till Dawn (Colby Brock Imagine)

Hey guys! So I apologize I didn’t post yesterday! I was going to but I didn’t because I went to a friend’s house and it slipped my mind until I was about to fall asleep. I hope this makes up for it! I’ve got some exciting stuff 👀 @sp00kybrock coming soon so I hope you guys will enjoy that, too. My requests are open for Sam, Jake, and Colby and if you guys find any blurb lists or things you want me to do, just tag me in them or send me the post and I’ll check it out because I LOVE writing blurbs 😂. Enjoy!

Song: Dusk Till Dawn by ZAYN (feat Sia)

——————————————————————————

You went home and you just crumpled to the floor. Tears blinded your eyes as you screamed. You just shattered and you couldn’t put yourself back together on your own. Not this time.

Your phone buzzed and you pulled it out and saw it was Colby. You answered it and put it on speaker.

“Hey, Colby,” you tried, but your voice cracked thirty times in those two words.

“(Y/N)?” Colby asked, already sensing something off.

“I’m good. I don’t think I can go to that party with you guys tonight,” you said, your strained voice trying to give you away.

“Okay, that’s fine, but are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, trying to rush the conversation. “Bye, Colby.”

“Bye, (Y/N),” he replied, but it sounded confused.

You hung up and you resumed your crying. You were just done, tired, fed up, and in that moment, you just couldn’t do anything but break into a million pieces on the floor. You ran your hands through your hair, then you ruffled it up. You shoved things out of the way, leaving your apartment in disarray. You laid back on the ground and struggled to get out of your jacket. You eventually stopped and just pounded your fists on the floor.

You sat cross-legged on the floor, head in your hands, tears still streaming down just as frequently. That’s when the door opened. A small but of light poured into the room before a figure blocked some of it.

Colby saw you and immediately rushed to crouch down by you. His hand rubbed your back and his eyes were wild as he looked around you. Your answers were incoherent to the questions he was asking you and eventually he stood asking. You are still hysterical and Colby has no clue what to do. So he sits. He sits next to you. Then he pulls you on his lap. He sits with you and rocks you until your sobs turn to hiccups, hiccups to sniffles, and sniffles to silence.

He stays and waits until he thinks you’re ready. “Do you want me to help you clean up?”

The both of you get up and start rearranging the furniture to their original positions. Colby then pulled you onto the couch. You curled up into him and he held you tight against his chest. He stroked your hair and rubbed your back.

He had no clue what was going on with you, and he felt bad because he hadn’t asked before.

He stayed with you as you dozed off, and he didn’t move. He didn’t go anywhere. He watched as the sun rose out the window, but he didn’t dare to fall asleep, because he wanted to make sure that you would be alright.

There was just something he didn’t understand. He would be there for you forever. He would stay with you from dusk til dawn and back again. He would stay with you any time, any day, any where. If he would do that, how did you not see that you didn’t have to keep everything inside and to yourself? Didn’t you know how much you deserved to be love? Did you know how much he never wanted you to feel alone? Did you know just how far he would go for you?

He looked down at you and sighed, because it was something you needed to know. Everything inside of him needed you to know just how much he cared. He wanted you to know that he’d hold you when things went wrong. He also wanted to be there when things went right, too.

When you started stirring, he leaned back and looked out the window. When you woke up in Colby’s arms, you were a bit surprised, but you didn’t want him to go. Your arms tightened around him and he felt it. He squeezed back just as hard.

“You know, I’m always here,” Colby told you. “You never have to do that,” he said, looking over to the place that the two of you were last night. “I never want you to feel alone. I feel like I never asked enough to know what you were going through and that if I had, you wouldn’t have broken down like you did. I didn’t do a good job of being there, and I’m sorry.” He still wouldn’t look in your eyes, instead, he looked out the window at the sun. “But I need you to know something. I need you to know that you never have to be alone. I will be with you whenever you need me. I’ll always be with you. I’ll be with you from dusk til dawn and back again, (Y/N). I’ll do it for you,” he said.

You leaned up and you kissed his jaw bone. “None of this is your fault. You couldn’t have possibly known-“

“If I’d asked, I would’ve,” he muttered.

“Even if you had, I wouldn’t have told you. I keep things to myself, but I’ll try to work on it, if you’re by my side.”

This time he looked down at you. “You’d really want me?” he asked.

“Of course I want you,” you told him. You leaned back against his chest and looked out the same window. The sun glinted off building and created beautiful lighting. The clouds were a light color and everything looked calm. “Do you want me to tell you some things that have been going on?” you offered. You felt him nod, so you told him.

He didn’t interrupt once. He let you talk. He listened. You could feel his body tense when you said things that made him upset and you’d stroke his chest to get him to calm back down. He listened to you talk about anything and everything. When you finished, he stayed quiet for a long moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he asked quietly.

“Because I didn’t want to burden you. It’s a lot to handle and I didn’t want to ruin your life with it.”

“Everything about you has made my life incredibly better,” he countered. “Every laugh, every tear, every moment has been better because I always could look to you. Even now, when you think that I’ve been burdened, I actually feel relieved. You trusted me, and I love it.” You stayed quiet, a single tear squeezing through but drying on Colby’s shirt. He looked down and then he pulled you up to face him.

“I love that you trusted me, and I want to always be the one you trust,” Colby said.

“You are, and you always will be,” you told him. He smiled and pulled you back to him. He really loved the way that you fit against him, like you were a piece of him that was missing. You loved the way that he was warm and his body welcomed you. You had a home in him and you had a safe place.

You both needed each other, all throughout the day and night.

———

Taglist:

@sp00kybrock @yikes-xander @daddydobrock @trapbrock-local @thenameisbabe @far-to-many-bands @lyssaholic @wacky-webber-458 @colbysbaby @katiaw2 @brocks-girl @chesterbenningtonaremylife

[gingeralepdf]

rules: answer 17 questions and tag people you want to get to know better!

tagged by @highgaylowgpa

nickname: my parents call me Em 90% of the time. my older sister used to call me Emmers when we were little and i wish she still did bc that was really cute!

zodiac sign: Leo 

height: 5′2″ (and that’s probably being generous)

hogwarts house: i don’t know! i never got into harry potter :( but my friends that are into it say that they see me as gryffindor or hufflepuff

last thing I googled: gryffindor bc i wasn’t sure if i was spelling it correctly but i also googled when pluto was discovered!

song stuck in my head: Face To Face by Rex Orange County

following: 77

followers:  86

amount of sleep I get: 6 hours on average (Yikes)

lucky number:  8

dream job:  i’m working toward being a counselor! but if i had the talent i think being a writer would also be really cool

wearing: a Hawkins Middle School A.V. Club hoodie (Stranger Things, anyone?)

favorite songs: like all-time faves?--Don’t Watch Me Dancing by Little Joy, Linger by The Cranberries, Dreams by The Cranberries, Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap, How Many More Times by Led Zeppelin, Boogie Shoes by KC & The Sunshine Band, Dismal Day by Bread, Tiny Dancer by Elton John, How Will I Know by Whitney Houston

instruments: clarinet, alto saxophone, ukulele, piano (but i’m really bad bc i’m shit at reading bass clef lol)

random fact: uhhh i’m left handed? i’m actually the only left handed person in my family and we have no clue where i got it from. i’m a total weirdo!

aesthetic: eclectic i guess? is that an aesthetic? idk i don’t really have a theme or color scheme for decor at least. i just kind of collect things i like and it all ends up working out. and i feel like it’s the same with clothes. i have so many weird ass graphic tee shirts from thrift stores that i adore! 

tagging: @mellowstyles94 @artharrie @fromyourstrulyh @bbletsdoitallovragain @harrysstyle 💖

(sorry I thought this was cute!)

[sunshinee-calum]

28 Questions I’ll Answer

I was tagged by the lovely @lifelovelemons 💖

1. How tall are you?

I can’t remember the last time I was measured but I think I’m like 5’ 2”

2. What color and style is your hair?

Dark brown almost black. It probably reaches past my shoulder blades and wavy when it can act right.

3. What color are your eyes?

Dark brown like my hair :/

4. Do you wear glasses?

Not unless you count sunglasses and Blue light blocking glasses.

5. Do you wear braces?

I used to! From age 10 to 13 and then some permanent retainers that I’ve broken. Oops.

6. What is your fashion style?

No clue. I just wear anything that fits and catches my eye really. Jeans, hoodies, and sweaters are a staple in my closet even tho everyday here in Florida is 80 degrees and higher.

7. Full name?

Daniela but I go by Dani bc everyone messes up Daniela.

8. When were you born?

January 20th!

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?

I was born in Queens, New York :) but I live in Florida now :(

10. What school do you go to?

I go to a community college near my house which I actually really like.

11. What kind of student are you?

I would consider myself a good student tho I’m kinda lazyyyyyy and a BIG procrastinator which is one of the worst habits you can have as a student

12. Do you like school?

It really depends on like what classes I’m taking and my teachers.

13. What are your favorite school subjects?

Psychology, English, and probably Health.

14. Favorite TV shows?

The Office (US) , Brooklyn Nine-Nine, On My Block, Stranger Things, Sailor Moon, Avatar the Last Airbender, and Yuri On Ice. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

15. Favorite movies?

Damn this is gonna be hard. Pretty much the majority of Marvel and Disney movies. Though my favorite princess movie is Mulan bc she’s a bad bitch.

16. Favorite books?

The Percy Jackson series, Hereos of Olympus series, and the Magnus Chase series. These books will always hold a special place in my heart. Cheesy I know

17. Favorite pasttime?

Watching movies and finding new series to watch.

18. Do you have any regrets?

Too many to count.

19. Dream job?

Definitely something that has to do with protecting people or maybe something that has to do with human rights. Not entirely sure yet.

20. Would you like to get married someday?

For sure. I like the idea of spending my whole life with one person. It just seems nice.

21. Would you like to have kids someday?

To be honest I’m not sure. The world right now is so fucked and I don’t know if I want to bring a kid into this mess. I definitely want to adopt tho.

22. How many?

Three kids max

23. Do you like shopping?

I like looking at things and saying I wish I had money. I am super cheap tho.

24. What countries have you visited?

Yikes this is gonna be long. So my parents worked for the US Embassy for a while so we lived in Guatemala for like two years then we moved to Mexico for another two years. We finally decided to settle here in Florida but I’ve gone on vacation to Colombia (which is one of my favorite places in the world). I also visited Europe last year and I absolutely loved it. I went to Paris, Rome, Florence, Venice, and Turin.

25. What is the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

I think the one I can remember the most is there was a nuclear holocaust and everyone one I knew and loved died and I was alone in the world. It was horrible bc it’s one of my worst fears.

26. Do you have any enemies?

I hope not. I mean I know there are people that don’t like me but I hope they don’t consider me an enemy.

27. Do you have an s/o?

I FUCKING wish.

28. Do you believe in miracles?

For sure.

I’ve never done one of these before and I enjoyed it a lot! Thank you so much @lifelovelemons!

[studytist]

Hey, everyone! I’ve been planning this post for a while since I’m an app addict and wanted to share mine with you guys! I divided things in two: the first part of each section is the overall info on the app and then my personal review of it. Without further ado, here are my favorite apps. Hope you enjoy it~

FORTUNE CITY (Free with in-app purchases) Expense Tracker Available for iOS/Android Fortune City is my absolute favorite expense tracker. It’s from the same developer as Plant Nanny! In the app you’re the mayor of your very own city, each expense you insert create a specific type of building depending on what kind it is (shopping, food, transport, medical etc.). You can level up buildings by merging them and also merge parks (that are built automatically from time to time). It has the option to track card expenses differently and also a balance. By upgrading (monthly $3,99 subscription) you also have a few more options such as setting a budget etc. Besides being extremely useful and fun to play, Fortune City is beautifully designed, bonus points!

VANTAGE (Free with in-app purchases) Calendar and to-do list Available for iOS Here’s something you need to know about me: in order for me to like and actually use an app, I need to like how it looks. I’ve been searching for a nice free calendar/to-do list app for the longest time, but either it was too simple or too crowded or simply not for me (a.k.a “ugly”). Or at least until I found Vantage. Vantage is gorgeously designed and brings a totally innovative way to look at your calendar. In it’s free version, you can add events and use your calendar in general, with the upgraded version (a one-time $9.99 purchase) you can use the to-do list section which is divided by notebooks (reminds me of Paper 53), add tags, change the background, use schedules and much more. What I love the most about Vantage is how its super customizable and minimalistic yet equipped with a variety of options that’ll surely support all tastes, besides all that, it’s very nice to see an app with a one-time purchase (totally worth the price btw) instead of monthly memberships (yikes).

ANY.DO (Free with in-app purchases) Calendar and to-do list Available for iOS/Android/Web Any do is a great, simpler option for calendar/to-do apps that also has a web version so you can keep track of your day anywhere! Any.do is very user-friendly and has a very minimalistic interface that focuses more on to-dos. There are many subscription plans with different options (not that worth it in my personal opinion). I used it for a long time and it suited me just fine, the option sync it with other calendars is also very useful. A great option for those who want an easy application to get them through the day.

YOUPER (Free) Mood tracker and anxiety reliever Available for iOS/Android I have anxiety and depression so tracking my mood is kind of a big deal for me. Youper changes the whole experience tho, instead of a simple chart with moods or anything like that, Youper is an AI that is designed to help you track your mood more efficiently and, in case you’re feeling down, it helps you relax with breathing techniques and other little activities. It also has an anxiety/depression tracker you take every 15 days to help you get an overall idea of your progress! It also has various articles and videos on different mental illnesses to help you understand them better! It’s definitely one of my favorite apps for mental illness and has helped me keep track of myself without making it seem like a burden. !!NOTE!! No mood tracker or app designed for the mentally ill replace the help of professional medical assistance. If you’re feeling unusually down or showing signs of any mental illness, please reach out for a psychologist and never medicate yourself before that. It’ll be okay.

WYSA (Free) Mood tracker and anxiety reliever Available for iOS/Android Wysa is very similar to Youper, but it’s a bit more talkative and friendly, it also has a variety of activities depending on your mood (anxious, sad etc.) that’ll help you get focused, relaxed, create to-do lists and etc. Wysa also has the option to contact a professional coach for $29.99, I have never tried it tho. It’s surely a great application full of cute gifs and a very relaxing interface. !!NOTE!! No mood tracker or app designed for the mentally ill replace the help of professional medical assistance. If you’re feeling unusually down or showing signs of any mental illness, please reach out for a psychologist and never medicate yourself before that. It’ll be okay.

COGNI (Free with in-app purchases) Mood tracker Available for iOS/Android Cogni was an app indicated by my personal psychologist and also my psychiatrist, both of them said the report chart used in this mood tracker is very similar to the one used, for example, to recognize bipolar disorders and you’re able to share your chart with your therapist. It’s very simple and easy to use. Personally not my favorite since it bugs in my phone and always log out and it’s not that aesthetically pleasing either, although it’s full of options such as thoughts and what situation triggered your mood. It has a free version and a few other subscription plans with some other options such as a full chart of all the moods and some sharing options for your therapist as well. !!NOTE!! No mood tracker or app designed for the mentally ill replace the help of professional medical assistance. If you’re feeling unusually down or showing signs of any mental illness, please reach out for a psychologist and never medicate yourself before that. It’ll be okay.

TAYASUI SKETCHES PRO ($5.99 with in-app purchases) Drawing Available for iOS/Android Tayasui is an app very similar to Paper by 53, but with more customizable tools and options. I personally like to use it for my comic journal. The textures from the brushes are very realistic and nice and the option to creates notebooks is very great. A simple yet complete app.

QUIP (Free) Documents Available for iOS/Android/Web Quip is my favorite writing and document storage app. You can create folders and many different types of documents. It has a very clean design and user-friendly interface as well as many business tools such as synching between different accounts and layouts to choose from that’ll surely be helpful. It also syncs automatically between mobile/web and has an in-built chat. Definitely recommend it.

TIDE (Free with in-app purchases) Focus & sleep Available for iOS/Android Tide is a Pomodoro app with many included ambiance sounds (rain, library, cafe etc.), it also has the option to track your sleep or quick naps. It’s very beautifully designed and easy to use. Its free version is pretty complete but you can also purchase subscriptions and more sounds. A cool bonus thing is that it also has a daily quote (and they’re usually very nice and inspiring).

MERRIAM WEBSTER (Free with in-app purchases) Dictionary Available for iOS/Android/Web I doubt anyone doesn’t know about Merriam Webster but I decided to include it anyways. Merriam Webster is one of the most complete English dictionaries out there and now it also has some games and quizzes. You can purchase the 1-year ads-free version for $1.99. 

PAPAGO (Free) Translator Available for iOS/Android/Web (extension) I’m crazy about learning languages and the last one I’ve been trying to learn is Korean and because of that, I was looking for a good translator. Google Translate kinda sucks, we all know it by now, Papago, on the other hand, seems to be one of the best Asian languages (and a few others) translators I’ve ever seen. It can translate up to 11 languages (English, French, Indonesian, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Simplified Chinese, Spanish, Thai, Traditional Chinese and Vietnamese) and it’s very user-friendly. Its speech recognition is also pretty good and it has a built-in phrasebook for Korean, Simplified Chinese, and Japanese! There’s also a kids version for young learners out there. 

CLUE (Free with in-app purchases) Period tracker Available for iOS/Android Clue is, in my opinion, the best period tracker out there. I love that you can input other data besides the flow of your period, such as pain (cramps, headaches, tender breasts etc.) or your energy (energized, exhausted etc.) and many other things as well as create your own tags! It also gives you a prevision of when your next period is going to be and, for me at least, it’s pretty accurate. It also gives you plenty of info on the period overall and specific aspects. The free version is pretty complete but you can purchase some subscription plans if you want some more tools. 

MEDISAFE (Free with in-app purchases) Med reminder Available for iOS/Android Another thing you need to know about me: I forget absolutely everything all the time. Hence, if I have no one (or anything) reminding me of taking my meds, you bet I’ll forget about it. I went on the search for some med reminder apps and MediSafe was the best find in my opinion. It’s super complete and fairly easy to use, it also has many customization settings and you can even set a reminder to refill your meds! You can add reminders for medicine you need to take periodically or just meds in general, just input a dose whenever you take it. Depending on the medication, it also gives you some info (and sometimes even a video of a doctor) explaining a little bit of it. You can also add a friend or doctor so, in case you forget to take your meds, it sends them a notification. Its free version works wonders on its own, but you can also purchase subscription plans to change the design of your pillbox or even have Obama’s voice remind you to take your meds among other things! Amazing, right?

GOOGLE PHOTOS (Free) Photo/video storage Available for iOS/Android/Web If you’re anything like me and have trouble deleting your pics (a.k.a memes) because “I might need this sometime!”, Google Photos will be your holy grail. You can store an unlimited amount of photos and videos in the app and delete them from your phone. They’ll be safe and sound and you can see them again anytime you log in anywhere! Pretty neat right? It also organizes the photos based off who’s in it, date etc. You can also create a shared folder, send them to anyone and even search for specific places and dates. A must-have for any photo junkie out there.

So those were some of the apps I use the most! Hope you could find something useful in this list. Feel free to add other apps you use and think people should know about or your own reviews on these. Sharing is caring!

[oldmanjinjokes]

––answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people (lmao idk 20 people on here heh)

––tagged by @hob1love ty love x

––tagging: @royaltae @gukmul @hercosmoscomplex @taejinszn  @theshyauthor @yoongisuschrist  (if u dont want to be tagged in the future just let me know lovelies)

LAST

1. drink - water stay hydrated kids

2. 📱call - friend called thea 

3. text - main hoe

4. song you listened to - Drake - Don’t matter to me (ughhh its so good k)

4. time you 😢- last night lol i miss people

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - nop

7. 😘 someone & regretted it - u have no idea yikes

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yepo

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - actually surprisingly no (be proud of me ellie)

FAVORITE COLORS

12. yellaaaaa

13. pastel pink

14. black

15. burnt orange lol

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - yes and theyre gorgeous people x

17. fallen out of love - working on it pal

18. 😂 until you 😢- yes when my friend ate tzatziki in a fucking sandwich 

19. found out someone was talking about you - yes

20. met someone who changed you - definitely 

21. found out who your friends were - yes for the better tbh 

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nah

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your facebook friends list do you know irl - ive met them all at least once lol

24. do you have any pets - 1 cat who only likes women and 2 cats in england who are angels

25. do you want to change your middle name - i mean “gammelgaard” is weird as fuck to try and explain to foreigners so yes why not 

26. what did you do for your last birthday - cried lol (tragiicccccccc)

27. what time did you wake up today - 5am >:(

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - listening to music and literally doing nothing 

29. what is something you can’t wait for - winning the lottery so i can quit my job ty 

30. what are you listening to right now - a shane dawson video, i like watch 2 videos when i get home from work every day as a way to like chill before i gotta study or something 

31. have you every talked to a person named tom - like a billion 

32. something that gets on your nerves - when people older than me at work act like they are my boss when in reality i know more than they do because i work more it pisses me riiiiight off oh and when danish people make fun of my accent :))) 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube lets be real

34. hair color - CUTE AS HECK PINK

35. long hair or short hair - long 

36. do you have a crush on someone - :)

37. what do you like about yourself - my eyebrows 

38. want any piercings - got 11 i think my mom would be disappointed if i got any more lol but i sorta wouldnt mind a double nose piercing instead of my single?? and maybe another helix

39. blood type -noooo clue i probably should find out

40. nicknames - lun, luna mou, lunaki, moonhead, moonie, mulfred 

41. relationship status - single n sad

42. zodiac - is that the same as starsign???? cause then sagittarius 

43. pronouns - she

44. favorite 📺 show - mmmm im a sucker for friends tbh and idk i love simple shows??? not so much drama and just all jolly 

45. tattoos - nah not my cup of tea 

46. right handed or left - right handed

47. ever had surgery - nose surgery 

48. piercings - 6 left ear, 4 right ear, 1 nose 

49. sports - badminton bitch 

50. vacation - i generally only go to the uk and greece to visit my family but im going to japan in feb!! 

51. trainers - faves??? or??? new balance is mint for all day walking jobs fyi 

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - now? or like? eating nothing ??

53. drinking - water

54. i’m about to watch - ryland adams vid hheh

55. waiting for -bed dude today was exhausting 

56. want - happiness O O oO  

57. get married - i hope so 

58. career - dear lord who knows but the goal i have is highly unachievable 

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - hugs

60. 👄 or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - ha thighs (tbh u are me meara lmao) also hands heh

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - :)

68. lost glasses - yes 

69. (oof). turned someone down - yes and boy do u feel bad 

70. sex on a first date - nope 

71. broken someone’s ❤️- yes and he turned into a stalker so theres that

72. had your 💔- yeppo

73. been arrested - no

74. 😢 when someone died - ofc

75. fallen for a friend - yes yikes (dont do it )

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - no

77. miracles - not really 

78. 💛at first sight - yes

79. 🎅- no

80. 😘on a first date - yeah

81. angels - no

other

82. best friends name - i dont really have a best friend i just have some close friends but shout out to my main hoe siah

83. eye color - green

84. favorite movie -  lord knows

85. favorite actor - D:

[dead-dialogs]

Everything’s Better(?) with Arsenic

Disclaimer: I have never dug up a dead person. That is, quite frankly, more paperwork than I have the attention span for (which is saying something, because for two years my whole job was paperwork). But fortunately for this blog post, there are a great many contemporary archaeologists who have dug up lots of dead people, including a bunch I know pretty well, and almost always they’re more than happy tell you about it. And publish about it. So thanks to everyone I used to work with, the Society for Historical Archaeology, and the multitude of private firms who put their dead shit/toxic shit protocols online in PDF format. 

The 19th century got really, really weird about death. 

To be fair, the 19th century also got really weird about a lot of things, like the color white, and putting pants on animals, and moral justifications for corporate imperialism, but we’re talking about death right now. There’s been a lot of work done about why things got so crazy, which might be a thing I talk about later. Right now, though, let’s talk embalming. 

People have been preserving other people’s dead bodies since way before the 19th century - don’t @ me, egyptology kids, I had that weird gold book with the scarab on the cover too. Even back to the Renaissance, anatomists were embalming bodies for dissection (listen, drawing the intestines takes a really long time, and it’s July and refrigeration won’t be invented for another 500 years, give or take, so we gotta do something or it’s going to get noxious in here real damn fast.) 

In the US, widespread embalming doesn’t really happen until the Civil War, for a couple reasons. In general, most people died within relatively easy riding distance of where the rest of their family was. There was this whole Victorian concept of a good death - not something we think about, in general, death is death and we normally don’t get to pick, but in the 19th century, there was a weird social stigma attached to everything you did, up to and including the way you died, because the Victorians were fucking nuts. The really only socially acceptable way to go was dying at home, in your own bedroom, ready to be prepared and brought into the parlor for the funeral. (Someone remind me to talk about coffin doors and the evolution of the living room in another post, it’s super interesting.) Dying anywhere that wasn’t home was this huge source of gossip, because if it was an illness, why weren’t you where your family was caring for you (because hospitals are deathtraps and also full of Poor People)? If it wasn’t an illness, why were you out doing something that could get you killed? Lots of judgement flying around in the Victorian era. 

The Civil War changed this in a really big, really immediate way. In addition to the whole dying away from home thing, in a way that really couldn’t be controlled since, you know, soldiers die, there’s also this lack of closure because of the chaotic nature of battle. A lot of families never really knew what happened to their male family members, because there wasn’t a system in place for notifying families of the deceased, and this is well before the era of dog tags or other forms of identification. In a lot of cases, missing in action just meant we don’t know which mass grave your son/brother/husband is in. Whoops. 

The US Army did have a system in place when they were able to identify you on the battlefield, or if you died in an army hospital, where they would embalm your remains and then ship you home on the closest railroad. After the war, this became just a cultural facet of death - you were embalmed, left out in the living room for a few days while people paid their respects, and then buried. This also dovetailed with some weird superstitious facets of the Christian traditions surrounding death (namely that Jesus would actually literally make you rise from the grave upon his return, but only if there was a body to raise, ie. cremation is definitely out). 

Since this is an era when literally no one knew what they were doing re: biology or chemistry, early chemical embalming was a lot of things getting thrown at the wall to see what would keep it from rotting. People discovered that arsenic tended to work well, so this was the primary chemical used from 1850 all the way up until 1910, when it was banned by the US because it kept killing embalmers. Go figure. Between 1853 and 1876, six different patents were filed for embalming fluid containing arsenic, ranging in concentration from four ounces to a Most Definitely Lethal twelve pounds per body. (For context, the minimum lethal dose for an average adult human is about 20mg, or eight ten thousandths of an ounce. Yikes.) 

Mercury was also used a lot, because we used mercury for goddamn everything, as well as formaldehyde. (To my knowledge, embalmers in the US still use formaldehyde today, although the EU has been trying to scale back its use because it definitely causes cancer.) In addition to all of this, some more wealthy individuals were buried in metal or lead-lined air tight caskets, which I guess were probably used primarily in shipping bodies?? I don’t know, I actually know more about dead bodies than their containers. If someone knows, come chat, we’ll be good friends. 

This is all well and good, except things like arsenic and mercury don’t actually, like, break down over time. So once the coffin is gone bc wood does break down over time, those chemicals start to leach down into the water table and get absorbed into local plant life, which is definitely not a thing you want to have happen at all. To further complicate matters, there’s very little record keeping about this from the period, so it’s functionally impossible to know which bodies were embalmed or what chemicals/how much of them were used. Which makes it really fun to be an archaeologist moving a 19th century cemetery. 

Fortunately, there’s a couple really easy ways to know if a body you’ve just excavated was embalmed with arsenic or mercury. If you open the casket and the bones are blue to blue-green and covered in tiny crystal structures, close that shit and leave immediately, that thing’s either a biohazard or an alien, and you want to be fucking with neither of those things. (Note: if there are only little spots of blue-green in places, that’s fine, because you know how copper turns your skin green? It does that to bone, too.) If you smell garlic (and no one’s eating lunch downwind), that’s also a big clue that you’re dealing with arsenic. And if you know the burial is for sure 19th century, and you crack that sucker open and there’s still little bits of flesh, that’s a dead giveaway that there’s some hardcore preservatives at work. 

If you’re really unlucky, cracking open a metal or lead-lined casket might release all sorts of pathogens you’re not prepared to deal with, in some sort of time traveler's worst nightmare. There’s not a whole lot in the way of documentation for this, since the people who were typically being buried in these caskets were more affluent and archaeologists (and developers who want cemeteries moved for space to put up a Walmart) tend to leave them be. As in all cases dealing with the Victorian era, just exercise extreme amounts of caution, because those fuckers were playing with fire and just about everything else besides, and shit is very likely to get real fucking weird. 

If you found this informative, entertaining, or weird enough that you want to see more, drop me a line at dead-dialogs.tumblr.com or at macy.franken@gmail.com with your history questions, and consider kicking a few bucks into my KoFi at ko-fi.com/deaddialogs. 

[jooheongif]

it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so  yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️

[ineedastudysavior-blog]

First of all, I would like to congratulate you for making it here. It’s your senior year of high school, and you haven’t gone completely insane. Good start.

I’m making this post as a rising university freshman, recently graduated high school senior in the United States. I know I personally panicked and looked through Tumblr for hours trying to soothe my worries, and if I can help even one scared person out there, then my job is complete. 

APPLYING TO UNIVERSITY

Yeah, this is a big one.

First, breathe. I promise everything will be okay.

Apply to as many colleges as you see fit. The number is different for everyone. I applied to 3, my friend applied to 13. Don’t panic if your friends are applying for more than 10 and you’re applying to less than five, and try to not judge them if it’s reversed.

Pay attention to the deadlines. I know it’s obvious, but they can really slip by you. Don’t forget to check if the financial aid deadline is different from the application deadline.

Don’t hate yourself if you don’t get accepted into your top choice. I know I was in this position last year, so I’m going to say it for you if no one else will. If you applied to an Ivy League or the western equivalent, there is a small chance you will get in, but a larger chance you will not. Statistics are against you. Have a Plan B and a Plan C. Dream big, and don’t let anything stop you from pursuing your dream, but don’t let it completely crush you if you don’t manage to be the 4-6% of students across the world making it into one specific university.

Remember that most universities and colleges require financial aid to be done and turned in alongside the standard application!

SCHOLARSHIPS

Oh dear.

If you haven’t started doing scholarships yet, don’t panic.There are plenty of opportunities for scholarships still. There are some with deadlines in May/June!

Even if it’s only $100-$200, apply for it if you think you can. That can buy a book or two or chip away at a meal plan. Everything counts.

With that, don’t overload yourself. Don’t give yourself 9 essays to write in one night unless you can do your best work under that much pressure and stress.

If you have a military parent/guardian, USE IT. I cannot tell you how many scholarships I found for military dependents. This applies to retired military parents/guardians as well. Even if you’re not planning on doing anything remotely to do with the military, they want to help you.

FAFSA. If you can get money from them, great. If not, let me send my condolences, I know that sucks. Keep looking.

ORGANIZATION

Here we go.

You don’t have to be perfect. Seriously. You don’t have to be trendy and tumblr and cute constantly. Sure, it’s nice for the pictures, but if it’s too much time and effort to keep it up and only stresses you out, drop it. I promise it’ll be okay.

Write stuff down wherever you’ll see it. Be it a sticky note on your mirror or in your planner, if you see it, you’ll remember it.

I know I might get some serious backlash for this, but you don’t need a planner. If that’s not how you work, don’t feel like you need to shell out money for one or spend time making one. Do what works for you.

Folders, binders, accordion folders, use whatever you have that’s in good working condition, or if you have the money, treat yourself (or have your parents treat you) to a new way to file things. Use what works for you. I cannot stress that enough!

There is such a thing as over color-coordinating. As pretty as it may be by the end, your brain likely can’t handle that overload. Stick to one or two different colors and it’ll be a lot easier to decipher.

ACTUAL CLASSES

Yikes...

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER IN A COURSE AFTER A MONTH, SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND GO DOWN A LEVEL. Trust me, I know it sucks, I really really do, but I took a Calculus course too quick for me, and I suffered so much, as well as lost valedictorian. There’s a difference between challenging yourself and putting yourself through unnecessary stress. It’ll be okay.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Again, it’s time to swallow your pride and get whatever you need to succeed.

Your teachers may be exhausted, but most of them are most than happy to help you if you need it, or if you’re confused on the specifics of an assignment. Use office hours or e-mail them. They’re human too!

Always, ALWAYS study for your tests. Whether it’s AP, IB, Honors, or on-level courses, you can always solidify information more. There’s nothing worse than neglecting to study, being confident as you go into the exam, and then experiencing that heart-stopping, stomach-dropping moment when you have no f*cking clue what the questions are asking.

Not everything is about AP/IB. Sure they’re useful, but never NEVER feel like you’re less of a person or less deserving because you take on-level courses.

SOCIAL

Oh jeez...

In case you haven’t thought about it before, some of your friends are moving away. Spend as much time with them as you can before you leave or they leave. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

With that said, if you have toxic friends, DITCH THEM. You are the number 1 priority in your own life. If you don’t feel happy around your friends, then they’re not good friends. It’s not too late to find great people, I promise. I did it in my second semester of senior year, and they’re some of my favorite people that I’ve ever known to exist. Find friends for life, not friends for now.

It is 100,000% normal and fine to not have had your first kiss, first significant other, or first relationship by this point. I promise you. Don’t let stories of people and their 5 boyfriends/girlfriends make you feel insecure. Don’t feel pressured into doing something you’re not ready for. (Also it makes going off to college a lot less stressful if you don’t feel like you’re supposed to tag along with your s/o or have an obligation to see them.)

Surprise! Not everyone is actually having sex! Even some people that say they are aren’t!

Please, learn to love yourself. You were placed on this earth just how you are. Don’t ever feel like you’re worthless, wrong, disgusting, or unloved. You are worth so much, I promise.

Don’t trash talk your younger counterparts. I know they’re annoying, walking into the school and being loud and acting like they own everything, but they’ll learn. Be patient, and try to not talk bad about them. You’ll be a freshman again next year, and you wouldn’t want seniors to be talking about you like that.

Join a club! It isn’t too late!

RANDOM

Etcetera.

So here’s the thing. College and university costs way more than it should. Save money. I know it’s hard and it sucks and it’s annoying as hell, but you’ll thank yourself later. 

Consider getting a journal to document things you do during the year. Paste in movie stubs, concert tickets, pictures, and write a little bit about the experience! Remember to please breathe. You’ll get through it, I swear.

If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed or as if you can’t do it, please seek out someone to talk to. It’s scary and stressful, but it’ll most likely help.

Do things for you. Take a bath. Take a weekend off. Call your best friend. Read a book for fun! Do something that will relax you and make you feel better about your situation.

I promise you can do it. I believe in you, and I hope you believe in yourself.

If I missed anything or you want anything added on or answered, please let me know, and feel free to add on with your own experiences!

xx, Shelby

[windsweptlassie]

i was tagged by both @frogyell and @not-your-fancy-butler ily both and i’m so glad i got to see you recently!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: water babey!

2. last phone call: my dad, but technically the apple store man accidentally face timing my mom three (3) consecutive times with my broken ass phone

3. last text message: me telling my friend to eat food, although technically last outgoing message (not text) was me telling @not-your-fancy-butler​ to tell me about modern Pierre

4. last song you listened to: Pierre from Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

5. time you cried: fuck man idk i was probably stressed or something

6. dated someone twice? as if

7. kissed someone and regretted it? only a little

8. been cheated on? nope!

9. lost someone special? of course

10. been depressed? fucke yeah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? nope and i don’t plan to

fave colors

12. white

13. shades of gold

14. blue/red/pink

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? sure have!

16. fallen out of love? yes indeed!

17. laughed until you cried? of course!

18. found out someone was talking about you? yes and it was a bitch of a situation

19. met someone who changed you? sure have!

20. found out who your friends are? Oh Yes Bitch

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? i don’t have Facebook dkjdfskljfslkd which makes me either a baby or ninety years old

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? i don’t have Facebook (clapping hands emoji) !!!!!!

23. do you have any pets? yea i got my kitty

24. do you want to change your name? no!

25. what did you do for your last birthday? uh paddle boarded on the ocean with two of my Best Friends Ever @starcallerstag​ and @vernalpool​ and then went home to spend time with my family, it was pretty nice

26. what time did you wake up today? 6:20 ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? sleepin I'm a boring bitch

28. what is something you cant wait for? I wanna go to college

30. what are you listening to right now? sad angsty indie music and Great Comet

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yea i got a bunch in my family

32. something thats getting on your nerves? right now? idk that i’m avoiding my work

33. most visited website: oh i don’t know email? tumblr?

34. hair color: brown

35. long or short hair: long buddy

36. do you have a crush on someone: not really it’s not super a priority right now

37. what do you like about yourself: i like my talent n creativity n i think i look nice n i’m pretty strong (really though, i’m convinced that being able to Lift Weights makes one soooo cocky, since i started learning weightlifting/kickboxing i’m all “i could kick ANYONE’S ass and look so good doing it”)

38. want any piercings? sorta

39. blood type: i have no fucking clue

40. nicknames: any variation of my name and whatever stupid shit my friends come up with on a daily basis (ily)

41. relationship status: single and coolin

42. zodiac: Leo

43. pronouns: she/her babey

44. fave tv shows: Idk anymore, brooklyn nine-nine? parks and rec? war and peace? game of thrones? star trek tos? i haven’t watched much tv lately

45. tattoos: want

46. right or left handed: left!

47. ever had surgery: i mean tooth surgery yes

48. piercings: none!

49. sport: field hockey, sorta fencing, kickboxing aka punching the shit out of other people, sailing, weightlifting

50. vacation: definitely need

51. trainers: i don’t know what this means? does it mean shoes? I have shoes...

more general

52. eating: i had a cookie a few minutes ago

53. drinking: water 2 hydrate my soul

54. im about to watch: probably war and peace again

55. waiting for: my fucking motivation

56. want: 2 be happy

57. get married: want to someday like probably in 10+ years

58. career: whatever makes me happy when i get there

59. hugs or kisses: hugs but i also haven’t been kissed in five million years so idk

60. lips or eyes: def nice eyes

61. shorter or taller: i couldn’t care less, whichever!

62. older or younger: my own fucking age please

63. nice arms or stomach: ...both

64. hookup or relationship: relationship but like...i’d be sort of down to TRY a hookup? idk

65. troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant but sometimes

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: definitely not

67. drank hard liquor: i had champagne once and i hated it and i don’t even know if that’s a hard liquor, which tells you how much i know about alcohol 

68. lost glasses: of course

69. turned someone down: yeah

70. sex on first date: yikes man

71. broken someones heart: probably but i hope i haven’t

72. had your heart broken: yeah definitely but i’ve also broken my own heart  (HA)

73. been arrested: nope!

74. cried when someone died: of course

75. fallen for a friend: every single day (although in all seriousness, i’ve fallen for a Lot of my friends whoops)

do you believe in

76. yourself: yea!

77. miracles: yes actually! why not imo

78. love at first sight: i honestly don’t know but proooobably not

79. santa claus: when i was little sure!

80. kiss on a first date: yeah why not

81. angels: yeah sure!

other

82. best friend’s name: i don’t pick favorites i love you all

83. eye colour: brown!! it’s pretty i think

84. fave movie: idk, the empire strikes back, master and commander, some lord of the rings movie

85. fave actor: i don’t know really? it changes

uuuuuuhhhhhh idk who to tag if you see this consider yourself tagged

peace