#i have never watched black sails
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I was reading Sea of Monsters (again) when I got to the part where the guinea pigs were turned back into men when suddenly I had an original thought!
There were lots of guinea pig pirates, you know.
And uh... Toby Stephens was a pirate, the great and dearly beloved Captain Flint.
So what I'm throwing around is... AU where Captain Flint got cursed to be a guinea pig with his crew or something like that?? Would be hilarious as a crack fic!
Furthermore:
Percy: Dad??? Captain Flint: I beg your pardon? Percy: ... Percy: ... oh wait nevermind-
#BLACK SAILS FANS GATHER 'ROUND#i have never watched black sails#but i read on wikis and watch clips and stuff#but you fans will come up with something even funnier#black sails#percy jackson#percy jackson x black sails#the crossover we never knew we needed#there's many ways to spin this circe idea into a crack fic#BUT and I may be loco saying this#what if we get a cameo in the show#WHAT IF#WHAT IF WE GET-#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackon and the olympians#poseidon#pjo series#pjotv#sea of monsters#percy jackson books#poseidon of the sea#captain flint#james flint#captain james flint#poseidon watch out#your son's gonna know who you modelled your looks after
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It's all fun and games knitting/crocheting/etc while you binge TV until you realize that the Vibes of whatever you're watching will be inextricably woven into the item you're making for the rest of time. Exhibit A, I now have a cozy autumnal lap blanket that feels like Succession.
#if you press your face close to the fibres you can feel all the love Logan Roy never gave his children#similarly i also have a darned sock that feels like Black Sails and a cosplay that's head-to-toe Interview With the Vampire#'Hey Charlie maybe if you tried watching happier shows this wouldn't be so much of a prob--' No <3#succession
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i dont think anyone has ever filled billy in on flint‘s Tragic Backstory so im wondering if part of billy‘s anger, his almost fanatic crusade against flint specifically, could have been calmed before reaching these heights—if anyone had
#isnt it also insulting??#billy has kept flint‘s back for most of the show despite his doubts#he has trusted him and lied for him#yet flint never saw it fit to have a sincere talk eith him the way he does with silver now#with*#i too would be hurt and angry#it might even drive me away#black sails#reading & watching
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in s3e4, when silver is taken from the cages to speak to madi, he says he has 2 dozen men in cages (4 having been killed already) ... granted this is post-becalming and 2 men were killed there. flint kills one man in the storm when he cuts free the fore topgallant. one guy goes falls into the ocean when billy and the others on the yards when they get dunked. and muldoon dies. so that puts us at a conservative estimate of 34 walrusmen ± 3 if you think silver included himself, billy, and flint in his estimate of the men in the cages. which doesnt seem to be NEARLY enough for a ship of that size. the walrus is a fully rigged barque from what i can tell - triple masted, square rigged, with the mizzenmast partly fore-and-aft rigged. the wiki lists the walrus as having 60-70 men which makes more sense, but pirate crews were noted to have an excess of men to reduce work (compared to the navy, where ships would only be manned w necessary numbers of men). i guess they could have managed thru the storm w only ~35 men? more may have died offscreen from the storm or starved i suppose
#i just love logistics! also very happy to have figured out the walrus is a barque ^_^#canis watches black sails#black sails#anyways. more to my theory that the walrus is actually kind of terribly run OR all the coolfun ship politics are offscreen#making a walrusman oc whos a very beleagured master carpenter who hates flint for never lettign them stop for repairs#he and degroot get drunk together and bitch abt flint w dusfrene
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the thing about the masquerade is ever since i read it i go into every book hoping it hits like the masquerade does. and it never does
#oh baru we’re really in it now 😭#that was the beginning of hope…if the world had not always been as the empire demanded#it might not always be as the empire demanded#i need a text post tag#i i have this same thing with tv ever since watching black sails like even when i like a show it’s just not the same level!#and it never will be….
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one well written polycule is worth ten couples
#like i see no difference love is love but it's just superior sorry#a good couple (with few exceptions) makes me go oh haha nice#good polycule has me frothing at the mouth#they have most insane dynamics#and are never boring#watch black sails if you agree
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#i feel sooo annoying whenever i see terrorblr post abt how the terror is an incomparable masterpiece bc my 1st instinct is always to say#well Actually. it is extremely good but it is by no means singular for example the starz series black sails (created by jon steinberg and#robert levine) that aired from 2014 to 2017 and did not receive a single emmy either was equally well crafted and they even had women!#but i am not saying that bc that would be annoying.#so i am just feeling like the most insufferable person alive and tell ppl to watch iwtv instead bc i actually wanna gatekeep bs#to be deleted#<33333 i hate that i get defensive over this like cmonnnnn its chill. it is chill. i can like more than 1 thing no need to get weird abt it#but fortunately i can love more than 1 thing AND get weird abt it <333 hashtag multitasking hashtag renaissance man universal genius#sorry. i have uni on saturday and i am preemptively annoyed and prissy abt it thats my free weekend you fuckers!!!!#also more ppl should simply watch more good tv like for example me i NEED to watch we are lady parts#but seriously. there is more than one excellent tv show out there. i promise. i also promise never to stop being annoying abt black sails <
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I have to put fresh sheets on my bed and make it but I've just been sitting on my bare mattress for the last 20 mins ranting to myself about this damn show
#again rewatching this with a developed adult brain is CRAZY#and I'm catching so many things I didn't notice before#and it's making everything feel even more !!! than the first time I watched the show#like!!!!like!!! somehow I never caught onto how such a strong part of flint's grief comes from the fact that he didn't try and rescue Thomas#and how his actions led to all of this happening in the first place#he could have sided against Thomas with his father. and they never would've had any of the mess that came with angering Dad#but that just wasn't possible to him anymore#because of what he felt for Thomas he had to defend his ideals. the ones they shared#and after all that. KNOWING that HE was partly responsible for what happened to Thomas!! just how painful it is that he walked away.#and fled to Nassau. and didn't do anything to try and help Thomas#like!!! the GUILT that must cause!!! the ANGUISH!!! no WONDER he's Like That Jesus Christ#and like!!! oh my GOD Toby Stephen's acting is outstanding in this#the way you could feel the palpable shift right after flint hugs Miranda. while Ashe is telling them how he can wisk them away to someplace#else in Europe. and james steps back!! you could see it in his EYES that that is the moment when Captain Flint starts to form#and you can hear it in his voice. the barely perceptible shift. that he reached his breaking point#also I completely forgot about the surprise Vane attack at the end of that episode and I nearly screamed#black sails#ALSO!!!!!! going through all of this with the knowledge that Miranda dies T^T and that Thomas is actually alive and they get reunited#is tearing my soul apart I think#these sheets may not be going on my bed tonight.....#black sails rewatch
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So how /is/ the black sails rewatch going? Any more insights from your dad?
Thank you for taking the time out of your very important Day Online to ask after my rewatch I know how busy you must be 💜 Rewatch is going GREAT in that i love tv and I love the moving image ❤️❤️❤️ rewatch is going terribly because after the high of season 2 buddy comedy ship stealing I remembered how sad this show will ultimately make me :( My dad has been left in the dust unfortunately because he’s been “at work” and “in delaware” but the only plotline he requested updates on when I kept watching without him was if max Anne and Jack manage to get their hands on a boat or not so he has the correct priorities (women’s plot lines first always <3)
#I hope to start season 3 soon to keep my momentum going!#unfortunately my dad will probably never watch the rest of this show because he only watches stuff with my mom#and she would not enjoy the amount of violence in black sails so I’ve never recommended it to her#it will remain yet another tv program my dad only knows about because I’ve summarized the plot for him <3 isn’t he lucky to have me <3#black sails
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thinking about why Luffy's not exactly sweeping in the pirate poll
cartoon - animation is generally seen as less "serious" than live action; it gives the impression that he's less serious or his story his less series, especially compared to (I think?) Black Sails which is supposed to be…like more realistic-y? (I mean One Piece has a very uh depraved, dark world but that doesn't mean freedom and laughter aren't vital themes of character and story…)
he's not gay enough - that is, Luffy is too, well, aro ace coded; he's not really attracted to anyone; he loves his shipmates and freedom and food and adventure more than romantic relationship drama, which is something that is usually popular in fandom spaces (i.e. shipping in a romantic sense). Luffy hasn't got any of that. (I mean, that doesn't mean shipping doesn't exist in fandom, but it's pretty absent in his character; the biggest exception is Hancock's one-sided goofy love crush)
old media - at this point, One Piece is not new; it's been going on for almost 30 years and more to the point, it's nearer to the end than it's beginning. Getting into it now would be like picking up a novel and starting it 2/3rd into the story; much context and development are missing and a lot of worldbuilding (looong, looong worldbuilding) is missing. It's a story that, if you aren't willing to take your time with it and/or have been keeping up with it, can seem overhyped, tedious, and not relevant. (I'd counter that freedom and laughter and friendship are always kind of relevant, but...)
SO anyway, that's why I think Luffy is doing so-so: he's a very aro ace coded animated pirate in a media story that's been going on for just over 25 years.
#wsd opinion piece#pirate poll#one piece#monkey d. luffy#one piece musings#but i may be completely wrong about all this#just putting thoughts out there#wsd weird brain#i have no never watched black sails so for all i know it could be all about freedom and adventure too
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this week me n Books got dressed up and went to a slightly famous fun new restaurant,* the next day we stayed in for a cozy movie night,** and the next we met their mom for dinner.*** it’s almost like we’re building a life together or something****
#also got absolutely railed on my birthday godbless#actually we had sex every night i was at their place this week which is. a lot bc we be fuckin for hours#it's great but whew that's a lot of time! ya girl has been sleepy as hell#* canje atx- it was fun and i would recommend it but i probably wouldn't go again#each thing we ate was good (except i hated Books' drink and they did not like the (v mustardy) callaloo) but most dishes weren't balanced#and they didn't present them in a way that made a lot of sense (i've been to one of the owners' other restaurants and it was similar there)#it was also unbelievably loud in the restaurant which would have been very unpleasant but it was fine being there with Books#like it was a bummer bc they had just finished the first ep of black sails and i'd just finished the first book in their favorite series#so we were both psyched for a good conversation over dinner but! not possible!#but we still had fun bc they're the only person on earth i could just look at and not talk to for an hour and a half#ANYWAY the appetizers did absolutely fuck we had a little tropical fruit salad and saltfish fritter and they were bomb#and i looked Cute in my little black dress with my new leg tattoo#** we had never done a movie night in before?? we've gone to the theater and we've watched tv at home but#hadn't done a full on lights out cozy blankets quietly stare at the screen for two hours before. it was great#*** my first time meeting a Mom and it was weird and scary and awk bc they aren't out to her so i had to use the wrong pronouns for them#but i survived. and they aren't super close for complicated reasons so it won't be a regular thing but. it was okay.#**** i spent christmas AND my birthday with them and#ok they're in school right this is currently their first semester of college#and they mentioned to their mom that they might be transferring/moving before they finish#that was my first time hearing that so i brought it up later like hey what did you mean by that where are you planning on going?#and they were basically like. if you pick a state i'll pick a school there#like it is time for me to start applying for jobs and i had been planning on bringing up this slight possibility with them but#i decided to wait until next week or later bc i didn't want them to feel obligated to say what i want to hear bc of my birthday#but they brought it up. because as usual we are very much on the same page#i don't even particularly WANT to move out of state right now but#to know that i wouldn't have to make the hard decision between them and my career? gosh#they're so good#i'm so glad i kept an open mind when my friend offered to set me up with someone the exact opposite of what i was looking for lmao#remember after that weekend i had those two first dates and i was like idk ab this Bookstore one... l m a o i was a fool!#now i am still a fool just in a different way
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whyyy does everyone love thomas so much. in a lot of fics theres a flint moment where hes like "omg thomas would have loved madi :)" WOULD HE??? or would he think of her as a particularly well spoken, well read servant. thomas's plan was explicitly meant to establish a british colony on nassau to continue effective imperialization of the americas, and the systematic theft of land and extermination of people. flint supported this as james. flint Happens to side with the maroons - but had they not held flint's life in his hands and forced him to acknowledge them, he would have continued his barrage on the english without considering the slave communities. in his escape from charlestown flint breaks the lock on a cage full of enslaved people - they are meant as a distraction, because flint does not care to actually ensure their freedom. they are bodies between him and a gun, and at that point that's all they matter to him
#black sails REALLY could have done a better job w making flint acknowledge his part in slavery - he sold slaves its stated onscreen#like obviously i love this show so much (give it up for month 4 of this SpIn) but like damn#the disservice done to mr scott and max and the maroon queen and joshua and kofi and eme and julius and every character of color....#read a fic that demonized julius and IMMEDIATELY clicked out like i was pissed.#idk. working on a fic of flint working on himself wrt to madi rn and cracking his golden memory of thomas - he realizes how narrow minded#they were and wants to rectify that - realizes he cant put it on madi to make him a better person or forgive him etc etc#also mr scott.... im working on a fic abt his relationship to eleanor vs madi also#<- me listing fics that will NEVER see the light of day lmao#canis speaks#canis watches black sails
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I just started black sails bc you put it on my dash enough and also Toby Stephens, and it’s exceLLENT (watched a season in a day) bUT is this a “gay” pirate show (the men yearn but never actually touch) or a GAY pirate show (certified fresh, homegrown, free range faggotry)
Thank u for yr time
I will happily answer this question for you but first you have to answer why the explicitly lesbian and bisexual women featured in the first season that you watched aren’t gay enough for you to classify this show as gay
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i have such strong memories related to black sails like. it was my mom's birthday. during a weekend. think 2018/2019. we went away for the weekend to this. place. idk what its called in english but yk rent a tiny house for like a few days. whatever. i can remember what it looked like. i sat on that couch watching black sails. my sister and i had to share a room and i managed to break the bed (not permanently) i had to sleep on & because even after fixing it i didnt trust it, i slept on the floor. it was on that floor that i watched s2 of black sails. it was on that floor that i saw that fucking scene that fundamentally changed me as a person. because. listen. black sails was one of the first shows id watched with a queer story. with not one but two major plot threads revolving around queer people's relationships. i remember sitting in the car in the dark as the rest of my family was ordering fries for us and i remember my mom going "hey look gay couple!" in a restaurant. it doesnt feel real. that entire weekend is a fever dream. i thought i was just watching a pirate show. the pirates were gay. the pirates were fucking gay bro. i cried over that show. i wept at the end of it. i had to play boardgames for my mom's birthday and pretend like i wasnt going insane because the pirates were gay and i was just. ough. i was 14 or 15 and i was barely out and i was new to being queer in any capacity and it was such an experience.
#i really think my extreme reactions as like. a 14ish year old to stuff like 'is hannibal in love with me' & the wedding crashing#in shadowhunters and the kiss in black sails.#i really think that shouldve clued me in on the fact that i was trans & gay. earlier.#which doesnt make sense since im also aromantic but eh. yk. seeing people like yourself on a screen for the first time#even before you know? wild. insane#current 13 year olds doing discourse on tik tok have never experienced the utter surprise that was black sails.#they have never experienced growing up to 12 unaware lesbians even EXISTED because queer people barely existed in media#i really feel like ive grown up alongside queer media.#just. i remember tlok. & shera. & adventure time. all kids shows!#& then ofmd? last year? i spent the entire time convinced id get queerbaited#i started watching it when episode 4 had just aired and i. i thought it was queerbait.#it wasnt until they actually kissed that i sat there like. huh. spn really did fuck with my head#DO YOU KNOW. HOW FUCKIGN INSANE IT WAS. TO SEE A NONBINARY PERSON#criticize monster/robot nonbinary characters all you like but when i first saw double trouble i was just.#getting to witness o14's development since season of dawn in real time was also amazing#idk.#i think writing valerian has made me really really emotional about gay middleaged men again#also its late. and i miss black sails. i should rewatch black sails
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do you write for mr scarletella? :) if so, may i request jealous scarlet who makes attempts to get closer to reader (court them) after seeing how close they are to mr crawling
persistence is key
That creepy smile grows on his face. "You like me," he says like it’s a fact. “What the- what?” You share a glance with Mr. Crawling. “You slow in head?”
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ yeah idk, lowkey some enemies to (potential) lovers, i have no idea how to characterise mr scarletella, but i tried my best and then i kinda got a little too invested in trying to spin the fic the way i wanted and wrote a little more than usual... sorry if ur disappointed, i tried to keep the whole courting/jealous thing subtle but still kinda there >w<
warnings. canon typical violence >w<
You’re not sure when you met the man in red, but you know he’s stalking you now. And it’s getting seriously old. Unlike the ghosts and monsters you’ve had the pleasure of meeting, this one doesn’t know how to take a hint.
Your first unofficial encounter with him is something that sent shivers down your spine, tucked away under Mr. Crawling’s arm and clutching onto his kimono for dear life. The second encounter was much worse- separated from your other worldly protector and left running down an almost comically long and creepy hallway where he just magically appears in front of you.
You don’t even think twice before you smash the crowbar into his form with all your strength, but it was futile the way he flickered? in front of your own eyes and left a weird moist residue on your weapon. You scowled, and rudely pointed a finger at him- “What the hell’s your problem, dude?”
In response, he leaned in close- so close that your nose nearly touched his. The tilt of his scarlet umbrella cast a dark shadow over you, and as he peered down, one black eye appeared from behind his hair, locking onto you with a soul-piercing stare. You felt stripped bare under that gaze, vulnerable and exposed, like he was seeing straight into your core, uncovering forgotten memories, pieces of yourself even you couldn’t remember. He smiled—a slow, unsettling curl of his lips that chilled you to your bones—and said something you didn’t understand. It sounded like a question, maybe, though you couldn’t be sure. You didn’t care. You spat out a few choice words and swung again, hard.
At least for a while, he left you alone.
Has it been days, weeks, or even months since you’ve got here? It was difficult to keep track, and it was difficult to even care anymore. The place was, without a doubt, growing on you by the day. Even if it was filled with hostile creatures that wanted to eat you sometimes, and when your skin started to get discoloured and you had the inhuman itch that just could never be satisfied- it wasn’t that bad! Hell, you even made a few friends and claimed a comfortable bed in some random room you found.
However, just as you finally started settling into the place, you had your third encounter with Mr. Scarletella.
It started with a dream- from before you came to this world. That man in red… A test of courage, your friends called it- spending a night in those so-called ‘Ghost Apartments.’ Your friends hadn’t known it then, but you were quite familiar with the building for reasons, and set yourself up in a cosy corner and the night was supposed to sail smoothly.
A rumour had surfaced- a tale of a ruin that appears only on rainy days, where you’re warned never to give your name to the figure you’ll meet there. That figure, they said, would take your soul. At the end of a dim hallway, standing silently under a scarlet umbrella, he was waiting. The man in red, eyes hidden beneath his hair. He was watching you. Or was he? Somehow you could feel his stare even if you couldn’t see it.
You woke up, heart pounding, muttering a string of curses. You groan, rubbing a hand down your face. The discoloration of your skin hadn’t gotten any worse, but it hadn’t gotten better, either. The longer you stayed here, the more the place left its mark. As long as you remained relatively human, and the only thing this place took from you was your memory, you weren’t too fussed. How could you possibly miss something from the other world when all you could remember was smashing a crowbar into someone’s head?
You swing your legs over the bed, feet touching the cold ground. The chill sent a jolt up your spine, and it was almost too tempting to get back under the cosy, warm sheets. You stretch your arms above your head, bones cracking and popping into place and mumble a hazy ‘Good morning’ to Mr. Crawling that should have been in the other bed. Silence wasn’t something you were used to around him- and you whip around so fast that you gave yourself whiplash.
Cursing, you grab your crowbar and stumble out of the room with a hand rubbing your tender neck. You didn’t need to look far- you could see Mr. Crawling at the end of the hallway.
And Mr. Scarletella.
The man in red was bent over to be face to face with Mr. Crawling, all-too-familiar sinister smirk on his face. Mr. Crawling didn’t look so happy either, and they seemed to be having an argument. You stomp your feet as you make your way over to the two, hand tightening on your crowbar as you ready yourself to fight literal static if it meant leaving your best friend in here alone.
“You,” you scowl, pointing your weapon at him. “You problem?”
Mr. Crawling scurries to your side, a hand gripping onto your clothes. “Dangerous… should get away!” he urges, tugging.
You shush him with a pat on his head with your free hand and continue to glare at that menace.
“You like them?” is the only thing Mr. Scarletella asks with a tilt of his head, smile seemingly disappearing into thin air.
Glancing at Mr. Crawling, his face covered in worry- you feel the familiar itch of your skin. You take a breath, going through all the reasons why you can’t actually kill Mr. Scarletella, and loosen the grip on your crowbar. From what you can sense right now, he’s not actually that much of a threat. Just a nuisance that can’t seem to leave you alone.
“Them friend,” you reply, deadpan. What type of question was that anyway? This guy was a freak.
That creepy smile grows on his face. "You like me," he says like it’s a fact.
“What the- what?” You share a glance with Mr. Crawling. You turn back to Mr. Scarletella. “You slow in head?”
The smile on Mr. Scarletella’s face falters just for a moment, but it quickly returns, more chilling than before. He stands there, towering above you. Despite your snarky comment, he doesn’t look offended- no, it’s almost as if he’s intrigued by your resistance.
You tighten your hold on the crowbar. “You problem.” You frown. “Go away.”
Instead, his grin deepens, his head tilting at such an unnatural angle that you can feel your stomach churn. It’s as though he’s studying you, savouring every little bit of your discomfort. Surely, turning your head at that angle is gonna hurt… You audibly gulp.
“Problem later,” Mr. Scarletella says, and with an unsettling flicker, he’s gone.
The next time you saw him after that was in less tense circumstances. It was unsettling after whatever that was with his coy little ‘Problem later’, you weren’t going to worry too much about it for the time being. You decided you’ll worry about it when the problem occurs, which probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas you had.
The earth shakes, and you’re completely cut off from Mr. Crawling. Wandering down hallways, resting in random rooms- you never really felt alone. You turn a corner, dizziness growing by the minute, and pause.
“You again,” you sigh. You don’t even bother lifting your crowbar at him. “What do you want?”
He appears directly in front of you, causing you to stumble back a few steps at just how tall he is. He bends down to your eye level, umbrella covering both of you once again. “Give name?” he asks.
“No. Go away.”
“Give name. Teach.”
“Go away!”
“Teach name.”
“Fine! My name’s… you pause. You didn’t actually have to give him your real name, did you? “...Silvair, or something.”
He gets closer to your face. You take another few steps back, but not before you get the smell of blood and dampness off of him. It takes all the willpower in your body to not scrunch your face up.
“Wrong name.”
“So what? It’s a name.” You scoff. Mr. Scarletella is silent, eerily so, and you can feel his piercing gaze stare through you once more. You awkwardly avoid eye contact, and clear your throat. “I’m… gonna go now, okay?” You turn on your feet and only make it a few steps.
“You teach them name?”
Them? Mr. Crawling? That guy doesn’t even understand the concept of his own name! The scowl feels as if it’s permanently etched onto your face. You whip around, pointing another disapproving finger into his red raincoat. It feels fuzzy… and wet. It grosses you out, almost. More than Mr. Gap’s greasy hair.
“No,” you hiss. “I don’t even remember my own name.” He stares, silently. “Me,” you point to yourself, “not know name.”
“...Not know name?” he echoes. What you said has him lost, you could see that.
Just like that, he’s gone again. You don’t see him for a few more days, nor do you find Mr. Crawling. You spend your time aimlessly wandering, knowing eventually you’ll most likely find someone you know in a friendly manner, and not pondering if every ghost you come across is a friend or a foe.
You awake promptly to a sound of a chainsaw revving. As if it was a morning routine, you stumble to your feet, grasping for your crowbar that should have, without a doubt, been next to you… only to grasp at air. Okay, now you are starting to feel a little panic.
Through trial and error, you knew that whatever wound you receive will heal, with time- but it doesn’t mean you were looking forward to being maimed to shreds with a chainsaw!
“Hehe.”
You froze, heart racing, and slowly turn around. There that wretched little being was- the stupid little fucker in the goat costume. The ‘Hooded Child’, the thing was termed. In it’s stupid little fucking hands, it held you handy-dandy crowbar that’s been with you thick and thin. Your stomach churns.
You gulp and face back towards the open doorway- a long black abyss, stretching on and on, with only the haunting bounce of that chainsaw, crawling along the walls. That chainsaw that was about to mince you in a matter of seconds. That chainsaw that was approaching you rapidly.
Frantically, you grab the nearest thing you could reach for. A metal chair. You wince. Probably not the best thing you could’ve grabbed, but it’ll have to do. It’s a matter of- well, technically life or life, but still! You could feel the sweat on your palms, the adrenaline pumping through your veins and your heart hammering through your ribcage.
You lift the chair above your head as the monster comes into view- a tall, masked being in a strapless floor length black dress… wait, why was she dressed so sexy? Your surprise leads you to hesitate as she rushes at you with her machine. You let out a yelp as you whack the chair down in front of you, metal clanging echoing throughout the room.
Complete silence. Not even the sound of that chainsaw. Not even the sound of metal.
“Huh?” You blink, once, twice, thrice at the sliced up body of that creature, blood splatter on your clothes. There was blood even on the ceiling, too… You drop the chair in utter confusion. “What the hell?”
“Help you.”
“You again!” You spin on your feet, meeting the dull eyes of Mr. Scarletella. You’re about to huff and puff this guy into next week, but pause. You leave your accusing finger down by your side. This guy just saved you from that thing. You avert your eyes and scuff your feet against the ground with a cough into your fist. “Uhm… Thank you.”
Wow, this guy really has an intense stare… Way to make things unnecessarily intense and awkward.
“Protect you,” he says. “You like me?”
“Take me out to dinner first, man!” you exclaim, crossing your arms over your chest. “Not like. You not bad. Not good. You okay.”
Mr. Scarletella dons an out of place frown that even makes you feel a little uneasy. “Them protect you. You like them.”
“Them friend,” you stress, finally meeting his gaze once more. You kind of regret it. This guy doesn’t blink. “You…” Weird? Off-putting? Freaky? “...unsafe.”
“Me safe. Protect you. Help you.”
You sigh. “Unsafe to friend.”
He just stands there, holding that stupid umbrella, with that unblinking stare. You blink at him and squint your eyes. His facial expression doesn’t change. Completely unfazed. You can’t even tell if he’s confused, or upset, or whatever he could possibly be. Your breath hitches as his unsettlingly familiar smile returns.
He tilts his head. “Me good. Me show you.”
Then he’s gone again. You can finally breathe. Your heart is still pumping. You slide against the wall, landing on the ground and resting your head against your knees. You clutch at your raincoat with shaking fists.
Mr. Scarletella - you knew he was meant to be dangerous, but he just saved you a whole lot of pain. Even if he was still a threat to Mr. Crawling, and hounds you for your name, asks you weird questions, could he honestly be as bad as you originally thought he was? You can’t deny that he did save you… but his presence is more dangerous than comforting. He’s both a threat and an aid, but never clear on which he’ll be at any given moment. One thing is for certain, however, and that was that he was persistent for your attention. Wait…
Oh my good God, does he like you?
“Heh…” Chuckling, you tuck your hair behind your ear. “I am pretty cute.”
You stand, and decide it’s better to think about while on the move back to Mr. Crawling. You reach for your crowbar, and curse. Of course. The Hooded Child took it with them when they disappeared when Mr. Stalkerella showed up. Well, you sigh as you drag the chair behind you as you exit the room, at least you have a temporary weapon, for now…
Making it back to Mr. Crawling didn’t take that much longer. He greets you, frown on his face and long arms wrapping around your waist. “Me worried! You gone long time!”
“Long time,” you agree, bending down to his level. You ruffle his hair, a smile finally sliding onto your face. It quickly turns into a pout as you wave your empty hands. “Lost attack tool.”
Mr. Crawling points to the spilled blood on your raincoat with a high pitched noise. You sheepishly giggle, and gesture to the chair behind you. He tilts his head, processing, before letting out his all familiar laugh. You sigh in content, glad to see a friendly face and let him pet you for a while.
He stops petting you, and turns around. “Attack tool!” he smiles wide, your trusty weapon in his grey hands. “Them give me.”
“Them?” you repeat, taking the crowbar, twisting and turning it in your grasp. “Them who?”
“Them!”
Curse this damn language.
“Mr. Crawling,” you hold his face in your hands, “what look like?”
His smile falters, and if you could see his eyebrows, you’d imagine they would be furrowed. He takes a moment to think, and points to the blood on your raincoat, and attempts to imitate holding an…
Umbrella.
You stare. And stare. And stare. You can’t even begin to process what Mr. Crawling just said to you, debating maybe you actually were growing crazy and it was finally time to bounce out of this place- andddd of course, you notice a red flicker at the end of the hallway. You tilt your head past Mr. Crawling.
That scarlet umbrella tilts slightly, and just for a split second, you catch a glimmer of that piercing dark eye staring straight at you, as if watching every nerve fire under your skin. You can see his smile from here, as if it was a smug ‘I told you so’ but it was actually a ‘Me show you.’
Well… Mr. Scarletella did show you. And now you were just left, to put it simply, utterly fucking confused. It just drilled the narrative down deeper of the possibility that he did like you. So… what do you do now? Do you apologise for trying to smash his head in with a crowbar? For being so rude?
How do you even apologise for something you don’t even remotely feel sorry for in the first place? Mr. Scarletella was creepy! …At least, he was kind of sweet. Not really- his intentions were anything but kind. But still!
You bite the inside of your cheek. …Is it wrong to feel a little flattered? There’s barely any romance in this place anyway!
In your world, things are either friend or foe, monster or protector. But Mr. Scarletella? He exists in some in-between place. Dangerous yet helpful. It’s as if he’s deliberately defying every category you try to force him into. And now, the memory of his unsettling question repeats in your mind- “You like me?” - echoing in your thoughts with a kind of twisted innocence that gnaws at you, a bit more with each repetition.
Mr. Crawling gives a soft, anxious chirp, tugging you slightly, drawing you out of your thoughts. He’s still eyeing the red figure warily. He points. “Them… dangerous? Them good?”
“Not know,” you mumble, defeated. “Good, maybe.” You stand to your feet, crowbar falling off of your lap and clanging onto the floor. “Me, them, talk. You stay.”
Mr. Crawling makes a noise of protest, hand reaching out to grasp at your clothes. You reassuringly ruffle his hair once more, and make your way to the end of the hallway. You don’t hear him follow behind you.
Face to face, you stand in front of the smiling Mr. Scarletella. He stares down at you, unblinking, unmoving.
“Can’t give name,” you remind him.
He leans his face down, ever so close. “Me like you.” A pause. “Want you.” Another pause. “You like me. Give me many human. Give me many blood.”
Well… In your defence, you didn’t know your corpse dumping ground was Mr. Scarletella’s domain.
“Getting in over your own head…” you grumble, and lift up your hand. You pinch your fingers together. “Little like you. Okay? LITTLE.” You wonder if this guy’s smile could get any bigger, geez… “You want big like?” You point your index towards him. “Be normal. Be good. Understand?”
“Normal? “Good?” He seems to chew over the words like they’re a foreign delicacy, his head tilting at that unnatural angle again. “For… you?”
“You good,” you waggle your finger at him, “I teach name. Maybe. If I can remember it…”
There’s an unnatural, prolonged silence in the air. You’re beginning to feel the awkward tension once more, but your resolve refuses you to break the unblinking eye contact you keep with him.
And finally, he speaks once more, agreeing to your proposition, “You teach good, you teach name.”
You hold back your groan- whatever this dance you two were playing, was going to take a long time to progress.
But at least something is better than nothing, right?
#homicipher#mr scarletella#homicipher hcs#mr scarletella x reader#mr scarletella hcs#homicipher x reader
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ok i was like "i'm gonna type out a few choices that could be fun" but i am not capable of being normal about tv shows my obsession is. unhinged. so i ended up typing out an essay. anyway i have sooo many thoughts about what could make a good followup to the sopranos and my ideas are under here but i shoved them under a read more because it was getting out of hand. anyway i'm kind of curious if any of these speak to anyone or if anyone would want them added in a future poll
other shows that i think could make really good choices: Twin Peaks The Twilight Zone (if we want to go wild and go to the ROOT roots of television although i think this might have wayyy too many episodes) Bojack Horseman (kind of fun because it was always a binge release so i don't think very many people have watched this "weekly") Lost The Americans The Shield Buffy the Vampire Slayer (kind of a weird one because Joss Whedon is awful, it's super influential and other people who aren't joss whedon worked on it and deserve credit but I definitely understand people not wanting to touch this) Fleabag (this could be fun cause it's so short, it'd be like a mini appetizer between binges) Battlestar Galactica The Good Place (if we want to take a swerve into pure comedy lol, i thought of other comedy series but they're all ridiculously long. on the other hand i feel like 90% of people on tumblr have already seen this) Atlanta The Leftovers Friday Night Lights (I don't actually know much about this show and I really don't like sports but it's the one big blindspot in my prestige/critically acclaimed tv show watchlist. i think this might have 20 episode seasons though so that might not be a good fit) Six Feet Under (kind of feels like this got overshadowed in the 00s prestige deathmatch between The Wire and The Sopranos but i loveddd this show, I want to say it's my favourite show ever but i haven't watched it since i had the dvd boxset in like 2010 so i'm like. worried that maybe it's not as good) Deadwood Halt and Catch Fire (show about women inventing computers in the 70s/80s, I love love love this show it was consistently like in the top 5-10 range on year end lists in the later half of the 10s and it was kind of underwatched. I remember season 1 not being great and it does feel like a bit of a shallow mad men clone but season 2 takes a hard shift to the women being the main characters and it's soooo good) an anime...... (HEAR ME OUTTT i'm actually not a huge anime person but there are some anime that have a similar like, flawed protagonist thing like the sopranos where you have to really think about what's literally being shown vs what the themes are, what the intended message is which i love. if we were to do this my suggestions would be either revolutionary girl utena or neon genesis evangelion) Hannibal (another one that tumblr already knows really well but like. hey if we're discussing black sails, succession, breaking bad, why not) The Larry Sanders Show (disclaimer i don't actually know very much about this show. it's a parody of late night talk shows, like we see a real filmed late night talk show but it's all scripted, i feel like it was probably influential on stuff like Veep, like the principal is that Larry seems very polite but the backstage of the show is very vulgar and they're all mean to each other. this appears on so many best of the 90s shows lists and it seems like it was HBO's first big hit, i'm really curious about it) Oz (another show that i don't know a ton about, this is kind of like, beta sopranos, hbo's prestige drama that did well but wasn't the smash hit that sopranos was. I feel like some of the other hbo shows (Six Feet Under, The Wire, Deadwood) would be better picks but idk maybe someone is a really big fan of the show and can sell people on it. it's about life in a maximum security men's prison) Pose (prestige drama about the gay ball scene in New York in the 80s. I've only seen the first two seasons but I really liked them) Girls
Just for fun nonbinding poll:
Just because we're a little over halfway and I keep thinking about 'West Wing might be fun' and 'Breaking Bad might be a good choice'
Also i know there's other golden age of TV shows that I left off deliberately due to quality decline in the last season(s) or because they're anthologies, you can guess what they are
#omg i was gonna post something like this when we got to season 6#but i'm kind of happy someone did it early i've thought a lot about what we could watch after#i'm worried people are gonna get mad about this but i've seen all of downton abbey and i hate it#it just feels like “poor people enjoy being poor actually”#i voted mad men because i haven't seen it in a while#i've actually seen all of these except for black sails#which is a fun choice cause it never got the critical acclaim like the others but it's so popular on tumblr#and i hear there are gay people in it so#while i'm on downton abbey why does julian fellowes feel the need to always have the main villain in his shows be a gay man
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