#i have never been more afraid than when i woke up
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eimearkuopio · 3 months ago
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Maybe the world would be better if, instead of choosing the lesser of two evils, we at least aimed for the greatest of an infinite number of goods. We all contain multitudes. Let's stop listening to the smaller of the two devils, and see what the angels have to say. If the devil made you do it, it was only possible because he was inside you all along; and if you accept that entities which transcend gender should only be referred to by a specific human-based pronoun, maybe don't then use that linguistic definition as the basis for how you think society should work, and apply it to every complex multi-faceted individual you encounter. You'll miss out on a lot of opportunities for good if you do.
If your limitations cause you to sin, cut them off and cast them into the fire. It hurts, but the fire cleanses and purifies and whatever survives will do you and your children a better service. Just remember that these instructions are parables and not meant to be taken literally. It's just the only way to get the message across; and society is finally ready for the Third Edition of the Word.
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Too Many Beds
main masterlist | supernatural masterlist 
summary: you want nothing more than an excuse to sleep next to dean again
pairing: (pre-s1/s1) dean winchester x female reader
rating: R for language
word count: 2.1k 
warnings: none really, language, bed sharing, kissing, mutual pining, idiots in love, brief mention of the death of reader’s dad
timeline: starts slightly before season one, ends near the beginning of season one
author’s note: a spin on the classic 'just one bed, what ever shall we do?' trope lol
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You’d known Dean all your life, practically. You met him when you were six and he was eight; two lonely little kids stuck with absent (job-driven) fathers and baby brothers you felt responsible for. Over the course of the last eighteen-or-so years you ran into the Winchesters during hunts enough that you considered them family. 
When Sam left for college you were there for Dean and when you lost your dad in a hunting accident Dean was there for you. He actually stayed with you, not wanting you to hunt alone since your brother was off at college too.
So, for the last six months you’d been hunting with Dean (who hadn’t spoken to Sam for over a year).
“One room, two queens,” Dean said to the woman behind the counter, placing “his” credit card on the space between them before sliding it toward her.
“We’re all booked up I’m afraid,” she said.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I was actually about to turn on the no vacancy sign.”
“This is the third motel we’ve been to,” you said, “every one of them has been full—you’ve gotta have something!”
“I mean, there’s technically one room left but the heater’s out and my boss said not to let anyone sleep there because of that.”
There was a silent pause; you and Dean shared a knowing look.
“We’ll pay in cash, your boss ‘ll never know,” you told the woman. She smiled and nodded as you paid her with cash. 
“Room 209, my boss gets here at ten tomorrow morning so please leave before then.” She handed you the key and you nodded in thanks.
You had underestimated just how cold the room could be, but when you unlocked and opened the door you understood why the owner didn’t want anyone staying here.
“Son of a bitch,” Dean mumbled, following you into the room and feeling the cold air. “We’re gonna freeze our asses off in here!” he quickly closed the door behind him, hoping the icy air hadn’t swept any snow into the room.
“It’s either this or we sleep in the Impala,” you shrugged, “and, no offense to your car, but it’s fuckin’ uncomfortable to sleep in.”
“And there’s only one bed,” Dean sighed.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower,” you told him, ignoring his complaints. 
**
“Are you shivering or crying?” Dean asked.
You rolled over so you could meet his stare; “Shivering! It’s fuckin’ cold in here!”
“You wanna…cuddle up, maybe?” he asked hesitantly.
“Excuse me?” you laughed a little.
“Look, I’m not thrilled about it either, but it’s cold in here and unless we both wanna catch fucking pneumonia we better be smart and share body heat.”
You sighed, weighing your options; “Fine. But we never, and I mean never speak of this again, you hear me?”
“Understood.” He nodded.
You rolled back over as he scooted closer to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you into his chest.
“This okay?” he asked quietly, his lips ghosting the back of your head.
“Yeah,” you mumbled back. “Thank you, Dean.”
**
You woke up to the sound of Dean snoring loudly. You were used to his snores, sure, but he’d never been this close. He was laying on his stomach and resting on your chest; his mouth open and his hair tickling your neck. Your first reaction was annoyance but then it quickly washed away as you realized you didn’t want to move a muscle, so Dean could continue sleeping. 
And the more you laid there, listening to his snores, the more you realized how comfortable you were…even in such a physically uncomfortable situation. 
As the time passed and the sun began to rise, you cursed the light that was slowly but surely peeking through the curtain and onto Dean’s face. 
“Morning,” he mumbled to you as he lifted his head up. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his right hand before wiping his mouth. “Sorry,” he chuckled, noticing the small spot on your gray sweater dampened with his drool.
“It’s okay,” you mumbled back. “I think it’s your sweater anyway.”
“I thought it looked familiar.”
He rolled off of you and out of bed. 
You watched as he padded across the dirty carpet and over to the small kitchen. He turned on the coffee maker and the loud, off putting grinding noise made his face scrunch before he quickly shut off the (definitely broken) machine.
“So much for coffee,” he grumbled. “You gonna sit there all morning or you wanna get outta here? We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”
“I’m getting up,” you replied. You would usually be annoyed at him for rushing you to wake up, but this time the annoyance was…different. Something about his bedhead, the way his lips were pouting over the lack of caffeine, and how he looked in his brown Henley and baggy sweats just made you wanna hold him again. All you wanted was to pull him back into bed with you and hold him in your arms forever.
**
You were beyond frustrated at this point. How many stupid fucking hotels had to have vacant rooms with two beds and a functional heating system!? 
It had been nearly six months since you and Dean shared a bed and you had been looking for an excuse to sleep next to him ever since. 
But the last couple weeks had been different—Sammy was back. Yes, you loved Sam like a brother, but you missed getting to be alone with Dean. You missed sitting shotgun in the Impala and watching him drive.
Sam definitely noticed the way you looked at Dean, but the younger Winchester didn’t say a word. Without being too obvious about it, he tried to do little things that would let you be close to his brother. He’d sit in a certain chair or part of the couch so that you and Dean had no choice but to sit together. Or he’d make some lame excuse so that he got his own room while you and Dean had to share. “I need to do some more research and I need the light, why don’t you two just sleep in the other room?” for example. 
**
“Two rooms, please,” Dean said, reaching into his coat pocket for his wallet.
“Unfortunately we’ve only got one room left,” the cashier replied. 
You almost couldn’t believe your ears, fucking finally!
“Oh, that’s too bad,” you faked your best frustrated look, of course Sam saw right through that.
“Well, I am not sharing with either or you,” he said with a teasing smile. 
“There’s actually a pullout couch in that room, as luck would have it,” the cashier informed the three of you. 
God fucking damn it, you thought to yourself.
**
It was barely after two when you felt the bed behind you dip, and you shook yourself awake. 
“The hell?” you asked, still half asleep.
“The pullout couch isn’t working,” Dean mumbled quietly. “You mind sharing with me?”
You smiled a little and scooted closer into his arms, indicating you were okay with him sleeping next to you.
“Of course I don’t mind sharing with you,” you whispered and his grip tightened.
**
“I’m gonna go get breakfast,” Sam announced. “I’m assuming you want your usual?”
Dean put his right pointer finger to his lips and furrowed his brows angrily. He gestured to you as you slept and Sam got the message. 
“Usual is good,” Dean whispered before Sam left.
Dean stayed laying perfectly still as you slept on his chest, soft snores escaping your lips and to Dean they were the sweetest sound. 
As you stirred awake slowly, he rubbed your back a little.
“Morning,” you mumbled, a small smile on your lips. “Where’s Sam?”
“He went to grab breakfast,” Dean told you. 
You furrowed your brows as you sat up, looked across the room, and realized something; “The pullout bed looks fine? I thought you said it wasn’t working?” You turned back to Dean, who had a sheepish grin growing on his lips.
“So…maybe I’ve just been looking for an excuse to sleep next to you again. Like we did back in that motel when the heat was out.”
“Really?” You attempted to hide the smile trying to find its way onto your face. 
“When we were checking in last night I noticed how your face lit up when they said there was only one room left,” Dean admitted. “And I saw that disappointed look you made when they said there was a pullout couch. So, am I wrong, or have you been wanting an excuse too?”
“I really liked sleeping next to you that night,” you said, avoiding eye contact. “And you’re right, I have been hoping for another ‘oh no just one bed, guess we’ll have to share’ situation but…”
“But what?” Dean asked when you trailed off. You looked down at him. 
“Dean, you and Sam have been like my brothers for as long as I can remember. I mean, Bobby practically raised all three of us and my actual brother as siblings! Your dad and my dad knew each other basically forever and I guess…I guess I figured our lives are too entangled for anything to ever actually happen between us. We’re family.”
“Chosen family, Y/n.” Dean smiled softly. “Doesn’t mean you have to be my chosen sister, you could be my chosen…you know…” 
You leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his full lips. 
“That,” Dean finished his previous statement. 
“Let’s just keep this between us for now, okay?” you suggested. “If Sam finds out, then your dad will find out, and he’ll immediately tell my brother, then before we know it Bobby—”
“I get the picture, sweetheart,” Dean chuckled before kissing you again. He put his hands on your cheeks as he sat up. He pulled you onto his lap, your legs now straddling his hips. His hands moved to your shoulders then trailed down to your lower back as yours went into his hair. You pulled away from him after a moment, huge smiles on both your faces.
You looked into his eyes, his truly beautiful eyes, and you bit your bottom lip ever so slightly. Your right hand rested on his left cheek, your thumb stroking his skin lovingly. 
“You’re awesome, Dean Winchester,” you whispered. 
“You’re fuckin’ incredible,” he replied before he kissed you again. “And gorgeous, too,” he added. “You know how fuckin’ annoying it’s been, sleeping without you every night since that one time?”
“I do know, Dean, I’ve been just as annoyed about it.”
Dean kissed you one more time before he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, tucking his head into your neck. You wrapped your arms around him too, pressing your lips to his temple.
You pulled out of the hug so you could once again look at his face. Resting your forehead on his, you smiled before you kissed him again. 
“Breakfast,” Sam called out as he opened the door, “is served!”
You and Dean froze for a split second before you hurried off of him.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Sam said, “did I interrupt you two?”
“What?” you scoffed. “Of course not!”
“Interrupt? There’s nothing to interrupt?” Dean added.
“Oh…wow you two are fast,” Sam mumbled, shaking his head as he made his way to the kitchen before putting the food down. “Well, pancakes, eggs, and bacon from the continental breakfast.” He gestured to the food now on the table. “Hope you’re hungry.”
As Sam sat down to eat, you looked at Dean anxiously. Say something you begged him with your eyes.
“Sammy,” Dean started as he got out of bed, “would you mind uh…not telling dad? About me and Y/n…kissing just now? When we find him, I mean.”
“Dad’s never really been invested in your love life, but he’s not an idiot,” Sam laughed. 
“So…you are gonna tell him?” Dean furrowed his brows in frustration.
“Dean, he knows you two are together, it’s not some big secret?” Sam replied, shoveling more food into his mouth. “Damn that’s good.”
“Okay, just hold on—what?” Dean asked. “What do you mean dad knows? There’s been nothing to know since like four minutes ago?”
“Wait,” Sam stopped eating and fully turned to face you and his brother, “are you trying to tell me this is the first time you two have kissed?” Sam furrowed his brows deeply as you and Dean both nodded. “So…never in high school?” You shook your heads again. “That prom we crashed?”
“Sam you were there the whole time? When would we have kissed?” you asked.
“Huh,” Sam let out a laugh. “I genuinely thought you two had been a thing since like… ‘98.”
“What!?” you and Dean exclaimed in unison.
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thesummerestsolstice · 2 months ago
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Notes on Keeping the Children Alive, by Maedhros Feanorian
One of them tried to bite me yesterday. A spirited effort, but doomed to failure. I will teach them how to do it better– their teeth are certainly sharp enough for it.
Woke up with flowers growing through the crack in my bedroom window. I suspect this is their doing. They are not very good liars.
Letting them climb on me has proved an effective bribe for good behavior.
They appear to like being tall. (possibly related to being descended from Turgon and Thingol??)
They stopped being afraid of me faster than most adults. Am I losing my touch???
Disregard previous note. Eldritch monsters recognize each other.
Am teaching them how to make the most of their shapeshifting abilities for political intimidation. They are shaping up to be menaces. Good.
Twins are old enough to begin swordfighting, and clearly eager, regardless of what Maglor says.
I have taught the children to argue with Maglor. I am certain they will eventually wear him down.
Gave the children more blankets so they would stop using my cloak as a blanket. New blankets have been resolutely ignored.
I am sure they'll stop commandeering my coat if I ask them.
I have decided not to ask them. (They are very cute when they are asleep)
Children are now attempting to negotiate their way out of bedtime.
Small animals appear to like the children. Especially birds.
They found a kitten in the stables yesterday. They would like to keep it.
Teaching the children to argue may have been an error.
Children asked whether it was possible to have three fathers. I am uncertain why. (Thingol homophobic??)
One of the children called me "Atar" today. Definitely did not cry about it. Not even a little bit.
It appears the children were asking about three fathers because they would like to be adopted.
I informed them that two fathers was the limit, but that Maglor could be their second mother, if they like.
Kano was too stunned at being acknowledged as the children's parent to correct them about calling him "Amme." Another successful plan.
(Kano, if you're reading this, then yes, this is payback for referring to me as a "brooding drama queen" for patrolling Himring's walls, in a very un-dramatic way, like a normal, responsible lord)
(Also, you of all people do not get to criticize me for being dramatic)
The children's Quenya is finally good enough for them to start reading higher level diplomacy treatises. I couldn't be prouder.
The children have never done anything wrong, ever, in their lives. I know this and I love them.
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hyunebunx · 3 months ago
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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ skz and the reason you aren't together !
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⁺ 𖹭 . genre: angst
⁺ 𖹭 . a/n: i loveee me some angst so i hope you'll enjoy! <3 seungmin's part is slightly longer because i wrote it for my beloved keisy @starlostseungmin <3
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𝜗୧ chan 𝜗୧ - he chose work over pursuing his feelings for you.
He knows how you feel about him, and you know how he feels about you. Things couldn’t be simpler.
But in reality, things were more complicated than ever. Yes, Chan did in fact confess, but with the same breath he also told you this could never go any further.
You were devastated, confused and sad, not understanding what was going on through that bright mind of his.
You liked each other, you both wanted this – so, what was the issue?
It wasn’t you, it could never be. It was him, as always.
He was too busy, his job too demanding to leave any room for you and the precious feelings you’ve developed for him.
Chan felt like he didn’t deserve your love, because he could never be there for you in the way you needed a boyfriend to be.
He could never be there every morning when you woke up, kiss you goodbye each time you left the house or greet you with a big hug when you returned. He just couldn’t, too caught up in work to even notice the hours tick by.
You didn’t deserve an absent lover, one that could not put you first.
No matter how much he cared, how much his whole being longed for you, his job would always be his main priority. Then, his seven brothers. While you, would end up being third on his list.
It pained him to admit it, and even more so admit it to you but since he respected you so much, you deserved nothing but the truth.
This information crushed you, every word that left his mouth a stone that contributed to the mountain you were quickly getting buried under.
“But I love you.”
He shook his head, brown curls getting into glossy eyes. “I love you too, but we – I, can’t.”
At the end, just as you were preparing to depart his studio, he stood up. Without thinking, you hugged tightly, aware this would be the last time before things would change forever.
“Please don’t be sad because of me.”
How could you not? How did he expect you to not mourn the beautiful relationship you could have had, if only he wasn’t so against it?
If only he would have chosen you.
𝜗୧ minho 𝜗୧ - because he broke up with you.
Yeah, pro idol Minho ended your relationship on a random Thursday night, taking everyone but most importantly you, by complete surprise.
“Let’s break up.”
You can’t believe your ears, especially since you’re in his house, eating the food he just prepared for the both of you, in his kitchen while wearing one of his shirts.
Nothing was amiss, nothing even prompted it. Things have been going great in your relationship – there was no recent argument or disagreement that could explain his sudden decision.
Blames it on his work and his hectic schedule, trying to appear as detached and unaffected as he possibly could. But you know better; you see it all.
The way his fist clenches over the dish rag, how his eyes won’t meet yours even for a split second. This isn’t something he wants to do, not in the slightest. Yet, here he is, breaking both of your hearts for a reason he doesn’t even bother revealing.
It stings in the worst way possible, even more so when you stand up to hug him and he just puts a hand up, stopping you in your tracks.
“Please, Y/n. Don’t make this harder for me.”
Tears well up in your eyes and that’s when he looks away, slumping against the counter as a sniff reaches his ears. He’s gripping the wood with such force you’re afraid it might actually snap.
“Why are you doing this? What’s going on?”
But Minho doesn’t respond, not even as you start crying and begging him to talk to you, to tear down the wall he suddenly plopped right between you two in your relationship.
He’s so close, mere inches away, but his heart that belonged to you, that always responded to yours, is suddenly grabbed harshly out of your hands and shipped away to an unknown destination.
“Minho.” You sniff, not hiding your tears or the pain that’s slowly ripping your heart to pieces and letting them fall all the way down to your stomach, trying to escape from the torture. Because even the idea of not having him in your life was pure torture.
“I think you should go.”
He walks past you, head hung low as he throws the dish rag on the table without saying anything else, putting an end to the conversation. An end to your relationship. Throwing it all away like the time spent together meant absolutely nothing to him.
Like it was the easiest thing in the world.
But it wasn’t, not like he’d ever let see you the way he broke down as you slammed the front door shut, walking out of his life for good. Even if you didn’t agree, it was better this way.
Your life was better, and happier, without him in it. That’s what he kept murmuring to himself as he slid to the ground, against his bedroom door, crying while clutching his chest, afraid his heart might stop beating.
It was all for the better.
𝜗୧ changbin 𝜗୧ - is already in a relationship.
The most stupid thing you can ever do in this lifetime is fall in love with someone who’s already in love with another.
Not only is he in love, he’s also in relationship that’s been going on for three beautiful years.
The thing is, you haven’t always had feelings for Changbin.
It was weird, really. For the longest time now, he was just your bubbly co-worker who laughed so loud the whole department could hear him. The mood maker of the company.
It happened on the annual Christmas party, where you drunk a little too much as you were nursing a broken heart after your ex dumped you out of the blue.
The whole world was spinning but you were happy – happier than you’ve been in months.
Noticing you could barely stand, Changbin ever the gentleman, offered to drive you home.
You complained and complained but after some more convincing from him, Changbin managed to coax you onto the passenger seat of his sports car.
You were silent the whole ride but as he parked on your driveway, he gasped, worriedly grasping your hands and exclaiming about the tears on your cheeks. You didn’t even notice you were crying.
But that’s when the dam broke and it all came to the surface, tears flowing freely down your face and neck as you sobbed, telling Changbin everything from beginning to end.
And he listened, holding your hands and nodding when appropriate, offering you the occasional sip of water or a tissue to wipe your face, not interrupting once.
His heart broke for you, unaware his mere presence was already working on mending yours.
The next morning, you almost didn’t show up to work as you remembered everything, how you made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone but especially Changbin. But something pushed you to do so.
As you arrived, a care basket was on your desk, accompanied by a little note with a crooked smiley face and then, he appeared, doing the exact same expression.
And you laughed, wholeheartedly. And you continued to do so as you began taking your lunch breaks together, working side by side and even taking turns on driving the other home.
Falling for him was inevitable, but you didn’t mind, all warm and fuzzy on the inside as the heart your ex broke was anew.
That is, until you met her. You and Changbin became so close that he couldn’t help but want to introduce you to his other half, the woman who loved him unconditionally that knew a little too much about you.
And just like that, your heart shattered once again, the pieces so tiny they were easily blown away in the wind, leaving behind a big whole were all of your love once resided. How could you be so stupid to believe someone could ever love you again?
𝜗୧ hyunjin 𝜗୧ - you found out he was in love with someone else.
Plain and simple, as heartbreaking as it sounds.
Let me paint this picture: you two are best friends, each other’s safe places. You always talk about everything and anything with one another, feeling comfortable to share even your darkest secrets.
Because of that, you genuinely thought he might even reciprocate your feelings at some point.
But one day, as you’re both hanging out at your house, watching a movie, all of the hope and daydreams you held in your heart for a happy ending with him just get crushed.
He suddenly dumps this new information on you while he’s casually munching on some popcorn, watching the couple on the screen confess their love for each other like your heart didn’t just stop beating.
You’re so taken aback that you stop breathing for a moment, looking at him with wide eyes.
For some strange reason, Hyunjin doesn’t meet your gaze even as it goes silent between you two and your eyes keep burning holes into the side of his head.
Only when you finally tear your gaze away, eyes glossy as you try to murmur encouraging words does he finally turn to you.
His breath hitches in his throat at the sight but other than that, he doesn’t comment on it.
The whole ordeal feels like a slap in the face, hurting more than any physical injury you’ve ever sustained but, it’s not like you could blame anyone but yourself for it. You’ve missed your chance and now, Hyunjin was going to be in a happy relationship with someone else.
So, as expected from any best friend put in that situation, you say through gritted teeth.
“You should confess.”
Hyunjin searches your face for any sign of discomfort and finds many – but, as expected, doesn’t say anything, just looks away and nods slowly. Like he just can’t maintain eye contact for more than five seconds at a time.
And that’s the end of it. The whole vibe changes, now uncomfortable and cold and it’s clear that neither of you is paying any attention to the movie anymore.
But he still remains till the end, and when the credits start rolling, you stand up first and bid him goodnight without your usual warm smile or departing embrace before sprinting up the stairs to your room.
His heart squeezes painfully in his chest as your door slams shut, the tears in your eyes bringing him unexplainable sorrow.
And as he leaves your apartment that night, down in the dumps, you know things between you have changed forever.
Because that’s the last time you and Hyunjin talk.
𝜗୧ jisung 𝜗୧ - he hasn’t confessed yet.
Jisung has liked you for a while now but for some reason, every time he wanted to take that leap of faith and finally confess, something always came up.
You were interrupted, plans had to be cancelled or you were simply too busy to even talk to each other.
It was driving him insane, especially when he’d spot you at an event surrounded by people he felt he couldn’t push through, missing his chance at your attention every time.
He felt forced to watch you from the sidelines, a background character in your life that would never get his moment to shine.
You were friends, but he often felt he cared about you more than you cared about him and it was tearing him apart.
Each time you smiled or laughed at one of his jokes, everything around him disappeared as time seemed to come to a stop, making you look even more beautiful. Which was a hard thing to do since you were already perfect in his eyes.
His insecurities and crippling fear of rejection were literally ruining his life, preventing him from experiencing the love story he’s been yearning for.
Jisung was good at hiding his feelings from you, but sometimes, he slipped up.
Like that time, he held your waist for a little too long, or guided your hands over the piano keys like it was the most natural thing in the world. Those moments when he wasn’t overly conscious, when he got lost in the moment, were your favorite.
You see, in his mission to prevent you from discovering how insanely in love he was with you, Jisung managed to make you believe the opposite. That he hated you. Okay, maybe not hate, just strongly dislike.
Always avoiding being left alone with you, barely meeting your eyes or pulling away when you got a little too close. He seemed repulsed, and it hurt you.
Where you really that unpleasant in his eyes?
He was nice and bubbly around everyone else, no matter the gender. Why couldn’t he be the same Jisung whose smile made your heart skip several beats around you, too?
This went on for a long while, which solidified the idea he hated you in your head, until you couldn’t take it anymore.
One day, Jisung almost walked in on you and Felix…hugging on the practice room floor? His heart dropped, brows furrowing in confusion. Felix knew how he felt about you, he would never disregard that, right?
Everything clicked when he heard your muffled sobs and pained voice.
“I give up, Felix.” You said, hiding your face in his chest as a loud sob escaped you. “Jisung hates me, it’s official! I tried so, so hard but it was no use.” Felix murmured something back, deep voice uncharacteristically soft as he comforted you, caressing your back.
Jisung couldn’t hear what he said though, eyes filling with tears as the only thing resonating in his ears was the pounding of his own heart. You thought…he hated you?
𝜗୧ felix 𝜗୧ - because your relationship is too…complicated at the moment.
Complicated didn’t even begin to describe your relationship with the ray of sunshine.
He was your ex that somehow slithered his way back into your life again, only this time, as a friend. Not even, just an acquaintance that knew too many of your secrets and biggest aspirations.
There was no denying the feelings you still harbored for him, the flame flickering in your heart each time he was around; each time he spoke, he smiled, he laughed or even as much as looked at you, your heart thumped so loudly in your chest you were afraid he was able to hear it.
It was embarrassing, especially since he didn’t seem as affected.
Your relationship ended on a sour note – arguing, screaming, crying, the whole package.
Yet a few months later, when you happened to be at the same party, Felix accompanied by a friend walked up to you like nothing even happened, greeting you brightly.
It was horrible, and you almost cried right there and then, missing the way his doe eyes took in all of the little details that changed about you ever since you broke up, desperately committing them to memory.
Like he never wanted to forget, because he didn’t. Felix never wanted to forget about you, even if you didn’t love him anymore.
And so, this happened a few more times until the inevitable took place.
You kissed. And never spoke about it.
And then you kissed again, and again, until he was coming over to your house in the middle of the night to do more than kiss.
It messed with your head, the way he was looking at you – like you hung the stars on the night sky for him and him alone. Like he loved you and wasn’t breaking your heart each time those plush lips kissed every inch of your skin, worshipping every part of your body.
“Why do you keep coming back?” You’d whisper one night, resting your head on his naked chest as the moon bare witness to your unspoken feelings.
“You keep calling.”
“And when I’ll stop,” you move to look at him, face mere inches away from his, hands supporting your weight on his chest, “will you still come?”
He hesitates, staring straight into your eyes. “Most likely, yeah.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Yeah…complicated.
𝜗୧ seungmin 𝜗୧ - because he is your best friend.
For most, the transition from best friends to lovers was as natural as breathing, something inevitable that was bound to happen one way or the other. Not for Seungmin.
He didn’t even allow his mind to go down that road, to think about being more than friends with you, one of the people he held the closest to his heart.
Not because he didn’t have romantic feelings for you, but because he was afraid.
Yes, he was afraid that once that line was crossed, the one that kept you firmly in place in the beautiful friendship that only blossomed and became very special over the years, it would all disappear.
Things would change and shift, which would bring forth your downfall.
In his eyes, the risk of fighting and breaking up was too big for him to even consider taking your relationship to the next level. He didn’t want to lose you, never.
But what he failed to take into account was that you would not stay single forever.
That’s why, the moment you skipped over to him and squealed about having a date, his heart almost stopped beating.
His world was spinning, like an earthquake started in his head which was quickly crumbling down every single wall and boundary, and rational decision he ever made over the years.
“You…have a date?” He gulped, ignoring the alarms going off in his head that were deafening him. “With who?”
“This guy from work.” You shrugged, excitement dimming as your gaze met his, serious. “He isn’t the one I like, but I guess it will have to do for now.”
Seungmin wasn’t stupid but his heart understood your allusion before his mind did, thumping loudly and stealing his breath away.
You were talking about him. You were going out with another guy but were thinking about him – he was the one you liked!
Still, he didn’t vocalize a response, choosing to nod and pat you on the back gently, staring at anything else other than the disappointment that overwhelmed your whole frame, making you appear oh so small.
The day of your date arrived sooner than he’d like, and Seungmin was miserable, especially since you texted him the location ‘just in case’.
Usually, he was more than happy to know where you were, safe and sound, but this time he would have preferred you didn’t let him know you were with another guy at the restaurant you frequented together.
Hours passed, and night was making its presence known, but still no sign from you. Was he worried? No. Because for once, you staying out meant the date was a success and you were having the time of your life with this guy that wasn’t him.
That’s until, a mere half an hour later, loud knocking had him off the couch in a second, opening the door to find you frowning, and with tears in your eyes. Opening his mouth to speak, shocked, thinking something had happened on the date, your finger hitting his chest stopped him.
“Why didn’t you come?” You sniffed. “I thought going out with someone else would finally prompt you to admit that what we have is more than a simple friendship! Do you hate me that much?”
He was speechless, grabbing you by the elbows as you barged in, tears streaming down your face.
“Answer me, Kim Seungmin!” Well, he was fucked.
𝜗୧ jeongin 𝜗୧ - isn’t sure what he feels for you yet.
Or better yet, his commitment issues prevented him from admitting to any feelings he might have.
See, you weren’t just friends. You were a little more than that, spending most of your free time together going to cute cafes and what would be considered dates, acting all lovey dovey.
That is, when you weren’t spending the weekend bound to his bed. That wasn’t fair, sometimes he was the one tied up. A very mutual arrangement.
Jeongin managed to drag you into a situationship you were now too deep into to break off, having developed actual feelings.
But each time you tried to speak to him about said feelings, he’d close off quicker than a frightened snail, impossible to reach.
After each one of these occasions, he wouldn’t contact you for days on end, sometimes even weeks, leaving you wondering if he’d ever come back.
He always did, he couldn’t stay away from you no matter how much he tried.
Even if he messed with other people in that time, he’d still make his way back to you, smiling like nothing even happened and ready to give you all of his attention and affection again.
It was exhausting, and very, very painful.
But you still welcomed him back with open arms, too happy to see him to even care that each time he appeared in your life again, you were not the same.
Every time he disappeared and you didn’t say anything, a piece of your heart was ripped off harshly, stomped on and then thrown in the trash, devoid of any color or life. Like an old toy, forgotten in favor of a new, shiny one.
But Jeongin didn’t care. It’s not like he could be bothered to pick up your scattered pieces – they didn’t interest him, you did.
Not like he ever noticed the light in your eyes dimming each time he stormed back into your life after pretending you didn’t exist for weeks.
To be honest, you don’t think you’ll ever be together.
Not now, or in the future.
No matter how much you hated to admit it, the facts were neatly laid out before you – Jeonging didn’t care about you at all, no matter how sweet, loving or good you were to him.
He thought you couldn’t notice, that your love for him was too blinding for you to see anything else other than him.
But you did. And he also did when one day, for the first time since he met you, as he stumbled out of a bar, giddy and tipsy with his phone to his ear ready to hear your sweet voice, his call didn’t go through.
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ahsokaismyqueen · 4 months ago
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Death Wish Love Pairing - Tyler Owens x Reader Summary - You wake up in a hospital with no recollection of how you got there, only that you are now in pain. Thankfully, the presence of your boyfriend makes it a little better. Word Count - 1.1k Warnings - Language, but that's it! This is very fluffy and really just me dipping my toe in to see if I want to do more. <3
The first thing that you noticed when you woke up was the pain. It was dulled, no doubt by some intense medication, but it was there. Your head was pounding, your arm was aching and your knee might’ve been attempting to murder you if a limb could do so. What was worse than all that however, was the incessant beeping that told you where you had to be. 
The hospital. 
You hated the hospital. You were one of those people that would go weeks being sick and ignoring every symptom to avoid seeing  a doctor, something that drove Tyler crazy even though he knew you had a good reason for it. In fact, he never would have taken you here if he had a choice because he knew you wouldn’t want it. You tried to recall what that reason might be, but the last few hours of your mind drew up a blank. 
Realizing that no matter how long you kept your eyes closed, the reality was you were still in a hospital, you finally opened your eyes, looking up at the white spotted ceiling. It took a couple of blinks for your vision to come back into focus, but when it did, you took a look around the room, your eyes settling on the person sitting in the chair beside you. 
It was almost funny, seeing such a big man in such a small chair. While he was asleep, he didn’t look comfortable. His head was leaning against his own shoulder at an odd angle, his baseball cap clutched in his hands on his chest, and his legs spread as far as they could. He must have been miserable, sleeping like that. 
But he was here. 
It was a little bit selfish, you’d admit that. You had no idea how long he’d been asleep. It could have been minutes or hours, but either way, now that you were awake, you wanted some company. Your eyes landed on a cup that was laying at your bedside and a straw beside it. While it took you a couple of grabs to get it in your hands, your aim was remarkably good as you threw it at Tyler, the straw smacking him right in the face. 
He startled awake, and his gaze went straight to you. A relieved smile formed on his face, not even angry that you had just assaulted him with a straw. “Well, it looks like someone’s feeling better.”
“I don’t know if that’s the right term. Heavily drugged is more accurate.” You admitted, looking over at him once more and noticing the dark circles under his eyes and the state of his very creased flannel. “You look like shit.” You said. 
Tyler shook his head at you, but that smile you loved faded from his lips. He moved his chair closer to you, his knees bumping into the side of your bed, and you closed your eyes for a moment as he leaned forward and brushed some hair out of your face. “You scared the shit out of me baby.” 
“It must have been bad if you’re being so sweet to me.” You said, but you both knew that wasn’t true. Tyler was nothing but sweet to you, if not a bit protective. “I don’t remember anything.” You admitted. “Must have gotten knocked in the head pretty good.” 
“Yeah, stop signs’ll do that to you.” He said, sliding his hand down from your head to take yours in both of his. 
It took a minute for his words to sink in, and for you to realize what he was saying. “Are you telling me a stop sign-”
“Flew straight into your head, and then knocked you down on your arm and knee? Afraid so.” Tyler started caressing your hand with his thumb. “Haven’t seen that much blood in a long time, might’ve traumatized Dani a bit.” 
You let out a groan, and this time it wasn’t from pain. “They’re never gonna let me hear the end of this.” 
Tyler let out a short laugh of disbelief. “They’re just going to be glad that you’re okay.” 
“And then they’re going to tease me mercilessly.” You groaned again, putting your hand to your forehead dramatically only to wince when your hand touched a bandage. “Ouch.” 
He grabbed your hand with a sigh, pulling it away from your face. “Don’t do that.” 
You looked over at your boyfriend again, noting with a frown once again how stressed he looked. It wasn’t an emotion you saw often on his face. The few times you could recall seeing it were in the face of tornado damage. “Are you okay, seriously?” You asked, real concern in your voice. 
Tyler sent you a weak smile. “Carrying your bleeding body into the back of an ambulance wasn’t my favorite thing I’ve ever done.” 
You tried to put yourself in his shoes, imagining what it would have been like to see this man, this man you adored and loved with every fiber of your being, laying on the ground and not moving. It was a nightmare you had often with the line of work you were both in, and something you tried not to think about. Now though, reality had given you a slap in the face, and you knew that if you had seen Tyler like he must have seen you, you would have been hysterical. The thought of what he must have been through made you want to grab him and pull him into this tiny bed with you and hold him. But you knew that would probably break it, and this hospital visit was already going to be expensive, so you reached out with the arm that wasn’t hurting and cupped his handsome face in your hand. “I’m okay, baby.” You tried to reassure him, but at his look of disbelief, you backtracked. “Well . . . mostly.” 
He turned his head to press a soft kiss against your palm that still managed to send butterflies through your stomach, even with all the pain meds. “I’m getting you a helmet.” 
“Can it have your face on it?” You teased him. 
His genuine smile started to return to his face as he leaned forward. “Baby, it can have whatever you want on it.” 
Your fingers slid into his soft blonde hair, pulling him even closer until your lips were centimeters away. “I’ll take it under consideration.” 
Tyler’s smile was full on his face now as he leaned forward a little more to close the gap between the two of you when the heart rate monitor started beeping faster and faster. He pulled away to glance at it, then smirked at you. “That wouldn’t be because of me now would it?” He asked with a smirk. 
You shook your head at him. “Nope, definitely the pain meds wearing off.” 
But you were proven a liar as his soft lips pressed against yours. 
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mrsparrasblog · 7 months ago
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You're losing me pt.1 POLY 141 x F, Reader
TW: cheating, hurt no comfort, heavy angst, dubious consent, there will be a happy end in the last part dont worry
pt.2
The most important thing about a POLY relationship was trust, and you knew you could trust them with all your heart. Kyle was so devoted to you that the mere thought of sleeping with another woman made him sick to his stomach. John was so full of loyalty towards you that he would never do anything to destroy your trust. Simon would rather kill himself than hurt you, the man who didn’t even dare to sleep with you for the first three months, afraid of hurting you should cheat on you? Never. And Johnny, oh your Johnny, was the sweetest of all of them. He took you on all these dates, introduced you to his family, and not a day went by without a compliment, nor a return from deployment without a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
So why do you still feel jealous sometimes? John reassured you over and over again that it was normal for you to feel jealous. He reassured you that nothing was happening while they were on deployment; they had each other for the fun stuff but definitely no other females; that spot was reserved for you, and only you.
Still, when you saw the new medic, you were so close to puking your guts out. She was beautiful, so stunningly beautiful and cool. A field medic is more in understanding with their branch than you with your job as a teacher. "Don’t need a medic, love," Simon reassured you once again, "we love that you're soft and not so rugged of war." Kyle immediately asked if he should stop talking with her outside of missions, and there you had your safety and reassurance.
Two months you spent without them; their last tour took a bit longer than expected. When John surprisingly texted you yesterday that they were back, you couldn’t contain your happiness. Unfortunately, you didn’t have time yesterday evening since you worked late, but you were eager to surprise them today on base, even though they thought you were only coming Wednesday. But hey, they’d be happy about the surprise. So you baked their favorite goods, put yourself in a cute outfit, and went on base.
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Johnny woke up with the worst headache of his life. He didn’t even remember drinking that much, only a few pints. Normally, he was more resistant. He felt a warm body around him and hair all over his face. He didn’t remember bringing you home yesterday, but yesterday was very blurry for him anyway. But he couldn’t complain; he missed you so much. When he nuzzled inside your neck, he smelled a different perfume than usual. It didn’t smell that great, but that's not something he’d say to you. Maybe he’d buy you a bottle of your favorite perfume as a present. The hair felt slightly different too, and your figure, did you change really so much in two months? When he opened his eyes and saw her, he couldn’t believe this. This must have been a dream, a bad dream. He looked down and noticed her lack of clothes under the blanket. "Fuck," he cursed out as he jumped out of bed, waking up the medic.
"What’s wrong, Johnny?"
"Don’t call me that; only she and SI can."
"You didn’t complain yesterday when I moaned it," the medic said with a teasing smile, grinning like a kid on Christmas.
"Don’t tell me we…" he pleaded.
"Of course, we did, Sweetheart."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, he screwed up. How could he do this? Where were the others? Why didn’t they stop him? How would they react? God, they'd kill me. No, she won’t. She will look at me with this disappointing glance.
As if the situation wasn’t worse enough, the guys walked in, looking at her standing completely naked. Kyle turned immediately around, but John looked knowing exactly like Ghost.
"You have 5 seconds to explain yourself, Soap," John grunted out, his hoarse voice sounding even deeper than usual.
"Oh, Johnny and I just had a bit of fun, Cap. Don’t worry; we can still go if you want to," she smiled brightly, her hand running over Price's clothed abs.
He pushed her away. "The only thing you're going to do is shower and leave."
She didn’t move. "It’s an order, not a suggestion, soldier," so she went to the shower, leaving the four men alone.
Kyle was on his way outside. "Where are you going, Sergeant?" Ghost asked.
"Telling my girlfriend that that bastard cheated on her. You don’t deserve her, not even a bit."
"Your girlfriend?"
"You won’t tell her a thing."
"You don’t get to decide that, Ghost," Kyle almost spat out.
"Ah, really, didn’t remember a thing."
Kyle went to him, grabbed him, and pushed him into a wall. "You fucking idiot, you ruined everything just because you couldn’t control your fucking cock."
"Stop."
"Aren’t you happy about it, Garrick? Now you have her alone like you always wanted?" Ghost asked, challenging the man who hurt his Johnny. He thought there must be a logical explanation for this; Johnny loved you; he wouldn’t do that.
"I said, fucking stop," John screamed at everyone.
You heard a lot of screams around the base. When you finally went to the room of Johnny and Kyle, you saw everyone there around, fighting. "So that’s what you do when I'm away to keep you in check," you hummed, chuckling a bit.
They looked at you in horror. Instead of the usual running towards you from Kyle, the picking you up from John, or the thousand kisses from Johnny, they just stood there in shock.
"Everything alright, boys?" you asked, letting the cupcakes rest on the table you baked for them.
"Love, look—" Kyle started but got stopped by Simon.
And from that moment, it went downhill. You noticed a flashy pink bra, definitely not your size, so far from your size that you were confused. "Whose is this?" you picked it up, and no words came out of them.
"No…" you already thought about the worst, but you wanted to give them a chance. Maybe it was a damn coincidence, Johnny's sister visiting or anything like that. The doubt went away in a second when she walked out of the bathroom, completely naked. "Oh, you're still together."
"Who of you?" you begged that they didn’t say all.
"I was. I'm so sorry," John said, his face looked apologetic, while the others looked surprised at their captain.
"It’s over," you muttered, trying not to cry to save you at least a bit of dignity. You were so stupid to trust them like that.
"Love, no, please," Kyle begged while Johnny and John were just silent.
"With all of us?" Ghost asked, wounded.
"You all knew it, and no one told me that John slept with that slag."
"EY!"
"Shut up," Ghost barked at the medic.
"I swear to you, I wanted to tell you," Kyle pleaded.
"Well, you didn’t, did you?"
"No, love, wait."
"It’s over," you asked out of the door, shutting them down from following you. "Let me the fuck alone."
"Let her go," John said to his men and they listened.
Back in the comfort of your own home, you allowed yourself to cry, holding your dog Winston till you felt in an unpeaceful slumber.
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lazycats-stuff · 3 months ago
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Could you do "baby bat" where a killer tried to kill Bruce Wayne's youngest son when I saw that all the media and the family loved him but Titus was sleeping in his room and saw him and bit him to save the baby
Sure can. Oh Titus the good boy is coming to save the little baby.
Summary: Titus is a good boy who loves (Y/N). And is very protective.
Warnings: Breaking in, Titus protecting (Y/N), so there will be aggression from Titus, but in defense of (Y/N), everyone is protective
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Bruce gently cradled (Y/N) in his arms, trying to soothe him so that he could go to sleep. (Y/N) was an easy baby and when fed he would be docile and just sleepy as hell. Bruce loved that about his boy. (Y/N) was the youngest one out of all the siblings and Bruce was taking care of him since his mother passed away.
Everyone stepped up to take care of (Y/N). Dick loved nothing more than to soothe (Y/N) to sleep. It was his favorite thing in the whole wide world. And feeding him was great too. Dick just loved his baby brother too much.
Jason would jump in too, he would simply talk to (Y/N) about stuff or simply played with his stuffed animals. Seeing (Y/N) giggle and move around excitedly. Jason more often than not fed him whenever necessary, since he wanted to be closer to his brother.
Tim, despite loving his brother to bits, was more often than not afraid to hold (Y/N). So, Tim showed love in another way. By buying baby things, such as toys, clothes and other necessities and making sure that the security system in place is at the top of its game.
And Damian?
He loved (Y/N) a lot, considering the fact that he was a baby and the fact that (Y/N) made Damian feel protective beyond belief, since he is the weakest one out of the family. And he also allowed Titus to spend time with the baby, under supervision of course. And Titus was a gentle giant when it came to (Y/N).
Despite his tail wagging all around whenever he was around (Y/N), he was always gentle with him, gently licking his hands and sniffing him. It must be the baby smell that everyone likes. He would often follow (Y/N) around and whoever was holding him. Whenever (Y/N) cried, Titus would drag someone by their sleeves.
And since (Y/N) came, at least one person was home and not on patrol, since someone needed to take care of (Y/N). Everyone rotated every day to make sure that (Y/N) was taken care of. It was something they all enjoyed and loved.
And the public went nuts for the youngest Wayne. Bruce made it clear that (Y/N)'s face won't be circulated over the Internet and majority of Gotham agreed. If he was approached by fans, they would ask for photos and make sure that (Y/N)'s face wasn't visible. And then Twitter, known as X, broke. The normally toxic social media app went aww over the stories of meeting Bruce and the little boy.
Of course, no one shared any photos of the boy. There have been attempts, but Bruce shut them down. Alongside his older sons of course. Bruce wasn't afraid to protect his son's privacy. You never know what type of people are lurking around, looking for photos of children. Bruce would be damned if he even gave them ammunition.
Not on his damn watch.
Of course, any enemies of his as Bruce Wayne and not Batman have found a new target within the family. And people with not so good intentions have set their sights on (Y/N). Bruce knew that very well and alongside Tim, made sure that the security system was working.
It was in the middle of the night when Titus woke up. He was sleeping in Damian's room, whoever, Damian was in the Batcave, while Bruce, Dick and Tim were patrolling the streets tonight. Damian and Jason were home to take care of (Y/N). Titus knew that, but there was a scent that he didn't recognize so he got up to investigate.
(Y/N)'s room was not far and the door was open. Titus listened carefully and he heard some noise and off he went to investigate. He knew how (Y/N) sounded, so the noise was weird. He stopped when he saw a man, dressed in all black, with a knife in his hand.
Titus wasted no time.
He ran to the man, biting into the hand that was holding the knife, with all of his might. The man yelled out from pain, waking (Y/N) up who started wailing. Titus was pulling him out of the room and Damian and Jason were running up the hall, with Jason tackling the man and Damian pulling Titus off. Titus did one hell of a job and Damian moved him to the room and took (Y/N) into his arms, trying to soothe him.
" I'm calling GCPD. " Jason punched the man out cold and took his phone out, already dialing 911. Damian gently soothed (Y/N), who after a few minutes calmed down. Damian checked on Titus, whose snout was covered with blood, but otherwise, wasn't harmed. His eyes were trained of (Y/N) and Damian was going to let Titus sniff him as soon as his snout is clean.
" The system went down. They hacked our system. "
Jason sighed at that. That was no small feat. Their house was Pentagon type of secure.
" Tim's going to blow a gasket once he hears that something happened to the system... They must have gotten in when it was rebooted... Bastards... " Jason muttered to himself, crossing his arms. " Is (Y/N) okay? Not hurt? "
" He's fine. Titus saved him... "
Jason nodded, patting Titus' head, telling him he's a good boy for doing it.
" Who's calling Bruce? " Jason asked and Damian sighed as he forgot about them all.
" You are. " Damian said and Jason scoffed as he looked for Bruce's contact in his phone. Yes, they had channels of their comms on their phones, just in case for emergencies.
Jason stepped out to talk to Bruce while Damian turned to his baby brother.
" No one will ever hurt you (Y/N). Titus and the rest of us will make sure of that. Absolutely no one will hurt you. I promise you that. "
Jason stepped back into the room. " They are all on the way, they'll beat GCPD too. So... A plan is in order. "
Once everyone came in and checked on (Y/N), they managed to agree on a story that would convince GCPD. And if Tim and Dick kicked the assassin a few times? GCPD will overlook it. Even the most corrupted police department wouldn't mind if a hitman who tried to kill a baby just died.
But Bruce wanted to know who hired this bastard to kill a literal baby. A baby who can't defend himself. Safe to say, Bruce held his son throughout the talking with the GCPD detectives. Titus was also near Bruce, not wanting to let (Y/N) out of his sights.
" If I were you mister Wayne, I would take the dog to the vet, just in case... " The detective pointed out, clearly seeing the blood on Titus.
" I don't worry about him. He isn't whining or anything and let me tell you, he is one dramatic dog. If his blanket is not the right way on the couch, he gets huffy and whines, " Bruce said and the detective chuckled.
" If you say so mister Wayne... Also, (Y/N) is adorable. Cherish these moments before they turn into toddlers. I can speak from experience. I have 2 boys myself... "
Bruce smiled politely and nodded. Bruce never had that stage with any of his kids, so he didn't know what he was in for.
" A full house? "
" You have no idea. That one will be full of energy, I can see already. And I can promise you, we'll catch the bastard who hired the scumbag. And it's not because of your status. That baby deserves to be safe and sound, " Detective said and Bruce nodded. The two were fathers and a mutual feeling of protection was brewing in both of them.
" Here's my contact info. " The detective tucked to Jason since Bruce's hands were full. " Any questions you might have, feel free to call me, " The detective finished up and Bruce nodded, thanking him.
" No problems mister Wayne. The forensics will stay around for a bit longer to collect the evidence, you know, around the window and the crib. The man is on the way to Gotham general, since the good boy over here did one hell of a job of protecting (Y/N). Once he's patched up, he's going to lock up and await trail, " The detective explained and Bruce nodded, pretending he didn't know anything about how those things went.
" Alright, I need to get going, but anything you might need to ask mister Wayne, please call. "
" Of course, thank you. "
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kykyonthemoon · 13 days ago
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The Day You Were Destined To Be His Caretaker
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The cat café you frequent allows customers to adopt cats, and you are thrilled to be a cat caretaker. The fluffy fellow you bring home, though, seems to be more than simply a cat.
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── .✦ Character x Female Reader|MC
Included parts in order: Rafayel - Xavier - Zayne - Sylus
♡︎. Tags: Alternate Universe, therianthropy (cat/human hybrids), fluff, soft and sweet, caring, cat cafés.
♡︎. Word count: 4k1
── .✦ Masterlist ♡ Request a fic - currently closed.
── .✦ Ky Ky’s notes:
This story was inspired by Yes, Cat Caretaker version & Meow Time event. It is my entry to the Love and Deepspace Cat Caretaker Assembly - Fan Art Contest.
I really appreciate all your support on my X <3
References to their cat breeds: x
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Rafayel - The playful cat
That day, you traveled to a common cat café by the shore. There were many cats at the café that had been adopted by customers. You hoped that you would find one to become your companion too. Then, you met him.
The cafe's largest treehouse at the time featured a little, curly-furred Devon Rex on the top floor. You had no idea how he climbed up there, because unsteady legs made it obvious that he was frightened of heights. His big round eyes scanned the world madly before closing. You were the only one who listened to his tiny meows.
You hurried over, held up your hands to the cat, and said:
“Come down here. I will catch you.”
"Meow?"
He opened his eyes and gave you a serious look. He still did not seem to have much faith in you. This was a cat you had never seen at the café before. Perhaps he was brought here by the owner recently.
“It'll be okay,” you said once again in a gentle and reassuring tone. A staff member approached you and said:
“This cat has been mischievously climbing up there again. It's obvious that he's afraid of heights, yet he just likes to crawl up there. We don't know why. Please give us a moment so we can take him down.”
“No need,” You replied. “I'll give it a shot. Is that okay?”
After giving you a nod, the staff moved aside to observe your attempts to get the cat down. You stood on your tiptoes and your raised arms felt weary. But you always smiled and comforted the cat.
“It's okay. I'll always wait for you down here!"
After pondering for a while, the cat decided to jump down. He rushed into your arms. Immediately, you hugged the small soft cotton ball tightly. From that day on, he followed you home. 
You had never owned a cat before, so in the first few days, you were very tired of having to chase him around the house. What surprised you so much was that while you failed to think of a good name for him, one morning when you woke up, you caught the cat with your pile of old crayons. He had written on a piece of paper the name Rafayel.
Although you found it strange, you decided to call the cat by that name. After a long day at work, Rafayel enjoyed wrapping himself around your feet whenever you got home. However, he was also so mischievous that while you were away, the house was usually in disarray. You once took Rafayel to plant trees in the garden. He enjoyed playing freely, chasing frogs, and catching butterflies there. He was so eager to assist you with digging that he even dove into a pot of dirt, getting his fur all soiled in the process. You laughed while feeling sorry for him at the same time.
“Look! I've just planted a meowing tree.”
Then, you grabbed him by his scruff and took him to the bathroom.
“You're so playful. You got dirt all over your fur now."
You put Rafayel in the tub and turned on the shower. Abruptly, a thin stream of smoke spread across the room. After a moment, your cat was out of sight as the haze gradually cleared. Rather, a man with purple eyes who looked exactly like Rafayel was sitting in the tub.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" You let out a loud scream. “YOU PERVERT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAT?!”
To your surprise, you tumbled to the bathroom floor while defending yourself with the showerhead turned on. Water splashed onto the man's bare chest. He tried to use his hand to shield the water from the shower and finally decided to reach over and turn it off. You were the focus of his teary eyes. He seemed somewhat distressed.
"Who are you calling a pervert? You've been dragging me into bed with you every night for the past few days, as you can see! Just now, you even wanted to give me a bath!”
"Huh???"
“It's me. Rafayel.” He said, pointing with one hand to the ears on his head and the tail peeking out from inside the bathtub. "Do you no longer recognize me, my lady?"
“R-Rafayel?”
“Yes… Meow?”
Although you had heard tales about therianthropes coexisting with humans, you never ventured to think that the cat you had taken in was one of them! For a moment, you were unsure of what to do, and could only mumble to yourself: "Refund... I want a refund... Obviously the café staff gave me the wrong cat..."
“What? Do you want to send me away?” Leaning toward the bathtub's edge to be nearer to you, Rafayel scowled. You always knew that therians had their own charm, but meeting such a picturesque person was beyond your imagination.
He continued to sulk: "The person who just promised to take good care of me for the rest of my life, now wants to throw me away?"
To be fair, you had said that to the Devon Rex, not to the charming curly-haired boy in front of you. You wanted a cat to keep you company, yet ended up with a half-cat, half-human sullen man. You stood up, intending to get out and figure out how to deal with this later, but Rafayel swiftly grabbed your wrist and dragged you into the bathtub with him. 
“Are you really going to leave me? Once you've made a promise to me, you cannot go back on it! Even if you wish to get rid of me, it's already too late! You're stuck with me, no matter what!"
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Xavier - The super cat
There was a recent event at the local cat café to allow patrons to adopt cats. The requirement was to be selected by that feline and capable of caring for the little animal companion. It was ideal because you had been searching for a pet to care for. There was only one problem: the cat you had your eye on was the most famous character at the café.
He was a Ragdoll named Xavier, with large, wide blue eyes and silky fur. Ever since he showed up at the café a few days earlier, had been the talk of the town, the "prince" that everyone wanted to take home. However, Xavier showed no concern for the customers. Because he disliked being touched, he typically slept in the treehouse. There were times when you found the cat snarling at others that you had just fed or petted. He would then approach and rub his head on your hand.
At times like that, you could not help but pick up the cat, place him in your lap, and caress that soft belly. Instead of displaying any signs of distress, the cat even purred to indicate how at ease he was. You pondered why none of the other cats dared approach you whenever Xavier was by your side.  Then, the café owner congratulated you that he had chosen you as his caretaker, and that you could go through the adoption process right away.
You set up a cozy mattress for the cat next to the bed on the first night you brought Xavier home. Unconcerned, he sprang into the bed, climbed into your cozy cover, and requested to lay next to you. No matter how many times you scooped him up, Xavier still climbed onto the bed. Eventually, you gave in and let him sleep with you on the bed.
After a few days, Xavier got used to his new life with you. Whether it was night or day, he slept a lot, ate a lot and rarely went out. Additionally, he had a keen sense of other animals' smells. For instance, before going home one day, you went to pet the neighbor's cat. Xavier did not even bother coming to the door to greet you anymore but sat huddled in the corner.
“Xavier?” You called, but your cat did not respond.
You purposefully consoled Xavier by placing the bag of newly purchased cat toys on the table and bringing them out one at a time. However, he simply turned away from you and seemed to be sulking a lot while staring out the window.
"I apologize... I promise not to let another cat touch me next time." You said, taking note of Xavier's demeanor. His ears turned in the direction of your voice, albeit he did not move an inch. “Even the dog next door, the squirrel on the way home, the birds…”
You thought Xavier would be angry and ignore you for good, but when you curled up in the blanket and dozed off, you felt the bed sink. Your hand went to the area beside you. Were you dreaming? Because it was not a cat that you touched. 
The hand belonged to someone else. That person's warmth was quite familiar, and there was a hint of the cat fragrance you sometimes used for Xavier. You attempted to see closer by opening your heavy eyelids. The muscular, exposed chest of someone stood before you. On occasion, he would even softly rub his cat ears on your cheek and nuzzle down on your neck. He draped his tail over your body. It was an all too familiar dream. Since you had picked up Xavier, it felt as though you were having this same scenario every night.
You started paying more attention to Xavier and suspected that your cat may be a therianthrope. Nevertheless, you lacked any hard proof until one day.
The treehouse set you bought a few days before arrived that day. After some effort, you were able to put most of the components together. The top floor was quite high, so you had to find a ladder and climb up. You put everything together and then turned to face Xavier. His tail was still up in the air, and he was still absorbed in the cardboard boxes in the center of the home.
“Xavier? Do you think the treehouse is good now?"
Xavier turned around and looked up at you. From above, it felt like he was just the size of your palm. So small, so adorable. You climbed down the ladder, but it was so unsteady that you slipped. 
“Ouch!” 
You felt like you were falling down with the tilting ladder. You might end up on the cat. Yet, Xavier vanished in an instant. Rather, powerful arms seemed to hold you up, embraced you, and you both collapsed upon the unkempt pile of boxes.
"Meow!"
You stared down at the person underneath you while holding your body up with your arms. These perked ears, this tail covering your legs, even those blue eyes that were gazing at you with affection... You were quite familiar with all of these.
Was it the therian you saw every night in your dreams?
"Xavier? 
He gave you a worried expression. 
“My lady, are you okay?”
“You… You really are… a…”
You were unable to convey how you were feeling at the time—confused, anxious, mixed with a little joy. 
“Hmm?” Xavier glanced at you and blinked. “It's me. Your Xavier.”
“But you… you're a cat…”
While surprised, you saw his face getting closer and closer as he sat up and said to you: "I am a cat. I am also human. My lady, which shape of mine do you prefer?"
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Zayne - The cat maid
Lately, you had got the impression that the furniture in the home had sprouted legs on its own and everything was more neat than before.
At first, you assumed it was because you were absent-minded or careless. Despite the fact that you did nothing, your house gradually grew cleaner and tidier. Not only that, but there was always warm water in the kettle when you returned home from work.
You suspected the house was haunted, but this ghost was really a considerate one! You had just recently moved to this cold, snowy mountainside town for work. Being busy with work had left you with no time to rearrange your stuff, and you frequently were ill because you were unaccustomed to the weather. Thus you were quite thankful to someone who came to clean up and care for you discreetly. Without a doubt, the landlord never paid you a visit, and the neighbors saw no one else entering or exiting your home. How strange!
"Hey, do you think our house has a… ghost?" You questioned the large gray and black cat, who was proudly patrolling the home. When he saw you, he lifted his tail and let out a "meow".
You recently adopted this Maine Coon cat. With his significant size and lengthy fur, he provided you with warm comfort while you were alone in this strange, frigid region. You encountered the cat outside a café. The owner stated that stray cats frequently came in looking for food, and if they liked a customer, they would most likely accompany them home. At that moment, your Maine Coon was outside. Snow dropped all over his luxurious fur. He continued to stare at you for a long time. After a time, you decided to walk out to greet him and share with him some of your food.
The cat was not seeking for food, just gently rubbed its head against your palm. He even gently bit you, causing you to cry, "Ouch!" 
Only then did you realize that the cat's two front limbs were covered with overlapping scars. You did not scold him and softly massaged his head and ears.
“You're also having a hard time finding food, right? Do you want to come home with me?”
The cat's distinctive blue and yellow eyes flickered briefly. He followed you home. Sometimes you questioned if he was just a cat or a therianthrope. He gave you the sense that he was actually a person. However, the cat never turned into a human. Back in the home, he rubbed his soft hairy head on your face.
"Alright," you laughed because it was ticklish. "If you see someone else entering the house while I'm away, definitely don't let them run away again."
The cat purred gently. You had to put the investigation on hold for a while to focus on your work. Still, there was one time when you forgot your documents at home, you returned at noon and discovered someone was inside the house.
You moved carefully into the living room. A massive cat tail stood out straight and swung gently behind the sofa. You realized it was your Maine Coon's tail. You called softly:
"Zayne?"
Two cat ears emerged behind the sofa. But this was not the Zayne cat you knew.
The face stared at you both strange and somewhat familiar. His pupils, which resembled your cat's, widened in astonishment. You were shocked when that person stood up straight since he was so tall. He was attired in your black apron with white ruffled edges, carrying a feather duster in one hand and a pile of old books and newspapers you had thrown haphazardly under the sofa.
The person who helped you clean every day had revealed his face. The only thing was, you could not believe that it was really your cat.
“Z-Zayne?!”
The tail behind him whipped vigorously. You were not unfamiliar with therians living alongside humans, especially in this town. However, this was the first time you had seen your cat being... no longer a cat. You were deeply perplexed.
You suddenly realized that you had been living with a therian for some days without knowing anything. You carelessly cuddled him and let him sleep with you in bed. You felt so embarrassed. As a result, after that, Zayne sat crouched on the floor and listened to you scolding him for not giving you his true identity from the very beginning.
"I'm sorry…" Zayne responded. He looked up to you, who was now sitting on the sofa. One of his hands paused before placing it on your thigh. He pulled his face closer and longed to rub against you, precisely as when he was in cat shape, yet he was also concerned that you would push him away. "I wanted to tell you before, but I didn't know how to say it so you wouldn't be afraid or detest me."’
Why did he assume you would fear or despise him because he was a therian? You examined him intently, seeking for any remaining Maine Coon features. Dust had left a smear on his angular face. Unexpectedly, you put out your hand to wipe it away. Zayne saw your gesture as a sign of peace. He immediately rubbed his face into your palm.
"Eh…" You were about to withdraw your hand, but his adorable expression made you reconsider. You still didn't appreciate being lied to, and you felt taken advantage of during the last few days. You delicately squeezed his cheek before using both hands to play with his face as compensation.
Zayne appeared miserable, yet he patiently let you play with him. Looking down, you noticed his velvety tail wrapped around your leg. After you were done, he spoke up:
“There will be a snowstorm soon. You're not going to kick me out, are you?” 
“Hmmm. Let's see.” 
You gave a thoughtful pose.. Zayne could not wait any longer before continuing:
“I can clean the house. I can also cook.”
You pondered briefly before pointing to his cat ears. "Can I touch your ears?"
In cat shape, Zayne frequently refused to let you touch his ears. You must take advantage of this opportunity. 
Zayne stared at you for a while. He reluctantly leaned closer to you. One of his ears shifted slightly before your eyes.
“If you allow me to stay here then… All right.”
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Sylus - The cat's return
One afternoon, you went to a cat café in a small, wild mountainside village. You had recently moved here for work and had no idea where to go because you were unfamiliar with the streets. You had just heard from a neighbor about the café and stray cat shelter, so you decided to check it out.  
The cats were originally aloof from you, but after an afternoon, they became closer to you. Many cats allow you to scratch their heads and rub their tummies. Most of the cats here were stray; some were abandoned by their prior owners, while others were frequently injured when fighting wild creatures. Seeing how well you cared for the cats, the owner invited you to return here on a daily basis to play with and care for them. You could even bring one home if you wished to.
That day, you went to the café when the cats were eating dinner. The owner had prepared their meal. You watched them eat to their hearts' content, discreetly checking attendance and selecting which kitty to bring home with you. All of a sudden, in the far corner was a caracal cat whose size stood out among the crowd. He was pushing the other cats away and taking their food.
The little cats started to fuss. You stepped over and retrieved the bowl of food for the cat who was wailing in your arms. The caracal cat glanced at you. His eyes were crimson; the abnormal kind of red. He was growling even. You grasped the tiny cat and moved away from him.
The caracal cat gave you a furious look. You spotted him heading towards the other cats, attempting to get more food. Letting out a sigh, you entered the café to ask for another meal.
When you returned, the caracal cat was there at the entrance. It was as if he knew you were going to bring out more food. You placed the bowl on the porch.
“Here you go. Don't steal other cats' food anymore, okay?”
The caracal cat glanced at you for a time before starting to devour his meal. When he was done, he proudly strolled over to where you were seated to enjoy the cool air with a few other cats on your lap. The cats fled away as soon as they noticed him. You felt sad for him having to face such isolation, but considering how he had just taken the other cats' food, you could sympathize with them.
The caracal cat rubbed against your thigh. You patted his head for a while. He seemed quite nice now, not as intimidating as he did when battling for food. Since then, you constantly brought him an additional meal. Of course, he grew more devoted to you. One day, you questioned the café owner: 
"Why doesn't the caracal cat outside have a bowl of his own?"
The owner slowly replied:
“The one that you always feed? He's a wild animal. He doesn't live with us here.”
"Huh?…"
"He always comes to the café to fight other cats for food," the owner went on. "We left him alone since we couldn't drive him away. Other than eating a little too much and scaring other cats here, he doesn't cause any trouble. But he appears to really like you. Have you considered adopting him?"
The café owner's urgent eyes seemed to be begging you to take this scrounger away as soon as possible. All you could do was chuckle. Through the window, the caracal cat's ruby eyes were still watching over you.
The fact that he would truly follow you home was unexpected.
“Hey, go back to your place. You can't stay here.” 
You chased the caracal cat away. Yet he kept coming back the next day, and the day after that. He spent the entire night prowling around your house. One time when it was raining cats and dogs, as you considered how lonely he must be spending all night outside, you felt quite sorry for him. You opened the door to find him on the porch, sheltering from the rain, his fur partly wet, and he was licking his wounds.
“Come inside,” you said to the caracal cat. His injuries must have resulted from fighting with wild animals. With the intention of taking him to the veterinarian the next morning, you left him in the living room and went to get some bandages. Yet when you came back, he was gone.
There was a noise in the bedroom so you went to check. You caught a glimpse of a caracal cat's tail inside. you were to find a towering man with ears and a caracal cat tail on your bed, countless wounds covered his body. Panicked, you quickly grabbed the clothes hanger, which was the closest thing you could reach for protection.
“Hey?… Mister?…” You called out, using the clothes hanger to poke at that person's body. His eyes, which were as brilliant crimson as two precious gems, opened slightly.
“A therian?…” You said to yourself in a whisper. If the caracal cat you often feed was a therianthrope, he probably would not harm you. It was very difficult given his current state. After giving it some thought, you choose to help him bandage the wound first. 
The caracal cat's eyes were partly closed as he lay still, watching you. After treating his wounds, you said: 
“I'll let you stay here for the time being. Once you recover, I will see how you can repay this."
Therian gave a smile. He waggled his tail beside your feet. He replied: 
“I owe you this time, my lady.”
“Not just this time. How about the times I fed you? They must be accounted for.” 
Your face heated as you remembered that you had previously caressed a therian with affection and that attractive one was now laying there. After gathering the remaining bandages, you headed out. However, he swiftly caught hold of your wrist and pulled you onto the bed.
“Stay here…” He whispered. “Your scent… It's very soothing…”
His breath carried the untamed scent of the forest, enveloping you. Your heart started to skip a beat. "You ask for too much," you replied, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. "Are you sure you can repay me later?"
“I, Sylus, am not an ungrateful creature,” he said, still holding the irresistible, devilish smile on his lips as he nuzzled into your arms. “How would you like me to repay your kindness, my lady?”
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moonstruckme · 24 days ago
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I really enjoy your writing and just read of of your jillyxreader fics. Could I request (if open) jillyxreader where reader has a nightmare and just Overall comfort and sweet fluff that will put me and reader back to sleep 🌙💫✨️
Thank you lovely <3
poly!Jily x fem!reader ♡ 697 words
Lily wakes in an upset without really knowing why. James’ arm is wrapped snugly around her waist, one of her hands clasped over his and the other pillowing your cheek. You’ve curled your fingers loosely around her wrist in your sleep as though to keep her from moving away. It relaxes her some, that you’re both here, but after a moment she realizes what it was that woke her. You’re making soft, distressed little sounds in the back of your throat. Whimpering. 
“Sweetheart,” she murmurs, more on impulse than with any intention. Her thumb strokes once across your cheek, and your fingers tighten around her wrist. But you’re nearly as deep a sleeper as James, and you don’t rouse. 
Lily touches James’ bicep where it lays over her shoulder (as is her prerogative and her absolute pleasure), rubbing at first and then squeezing lightly when that doesn’t work. His shapeless murmur ghosts over her ear as he stirs. 
“Jamie.” She strokes his arm more kindly. “I think she’s having a nightmare.”
James makes a sleepy, concerned sound, his cheek warm where he rests it on Lily’s arm to see you. “Oh,” he coos. “Wake ‘er up, then.” 
“I don’t…” Lily hesitates. “I don’t want to scare her.” 
Lily isn’t usually a tentative person. Actually, she prides herself on being someone who often knows just what to do. She can think on her feet, she knows her principles, and she’s generally good with people. But Lily never had to work for James’ affection (though she tries every day to deserve it) and though you’ve never been withholding with yours, she sometimes feels insecure in knowing precisely the right thing to do for you. James is inherently loveable, but she still has no clue why either of you have chosen her; she’s afraid to be the one to mess things up. 
Sometimes, she thinks James knows this. He mushes his lips to her arm, stubble tickling, says “s’okay, lovely,” and reaches for you himself. 
You do wake as Lily feared, with a start and a short breath, but you calm quickly under James’ touch, Lily’s hand still underneath your cheek. 
“Shh, you’re okay, angel.” James rubs your shoulder softly as the tension in your body eases. “Everything’s okay.” 
“Oh my god.” You let out a shuddery breath. “Sorry.” 
“It’s alright.” Lily strokes a short line under your eye with her thumb. “Bad dream?” 
“Mm.” You look between her and James. Then take another deep breath, letting your face rest more heavily in her palm. “I woke you?” 
“Not really,” she lies. “You sounded upset, though.” 
You frown. “I was making sounds?”
Lily nods, feeling her brows draw together sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
You think about it for a second, forefinger stroking the inside of her wrist. Warmth seeps through Lily’s skin, settling pleasurably inside her. 
“Thanks,” you say after a few moments, “but I think I’d rather not. It’ll just make it harder for me to get back to sleep.” 
“Will you be able to get back to sleep?” James asks. 
You nod, but your shoulders draw up uncertainly. “I think so.” 
“Mm. Best take measures to ensure it.” He reaches over Lily, who flattens herself to the bed as James takes your waist in his hands. “C’mere, lovie.” 
You smile and apologize to Lily as James hauls you over her, situating you between them. 
“Don’t worry about it.” She kisses the hill of your cheek, drawing back to look you in the eyes. It’s dark enough that she can’t make out much of you, but your eyes glitter faintly in the low light, pupils large and trusting. Lily’s heart feels heavy with fondness. “Is this going to help, sweetheart?” 
You smile faintly. “Yeah,” you say, moving forward to kiss her on the lips. 
“Yeah,” James echoes you. He plants a smacker on your cheek, then leans over you to do the same to Lily, his demeanor playful but the hand he pets down your arm comforting. “Course it’s going to help, babe, don’t be so silly. Have a bit of faith, yeah?” 
“Right.” Lily links your hands, bringing them to her lips. “My mistake.”
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the-travelling-witch · 5 months ago
Text
𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
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summary: just some small baking hcs because i couldn't help but think about these guys while doing some baking myself
pairings: all students x gn! reader (can be read as either romantic or platonic, except for ortho)
warnings: just fluff, there is no concrete trope here, just random brain worms; reader is not specified to be mc/yuu
a/n: peer reviewed by @daisystwistedgarden who woke up to me spamming our dms with these ♡
twisted wonderland masterlist
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HEARTSLABYUL
Riddle would be the most attentive student ever, taking notes on the exact ratio and the time you spent mixing everything together. Please don’t give him measurements like “what feels right”, he wants to know the exact amount down to the gram. One day, he wants to bake something for you by himself, but for now he’s content with sharing what you made together over a cup of tea.
Normally, the delicious smell of pastries and cakes comes wafting out of Heartslabyul’s kitchen with Trey at the centre of it, so the first time he comes to your dorm to see you baking, he’s pleasantly surprised. Obviously, he’s liked you before but now he looks forward to swapping recipes and spending afternoons side by side in the kitchen.
Cater would be posting all over magicam how cute you are and would fill his stories with candids of you kneading dough, taking stuff out of the oven, etc. He’d try to hide how flustered he gets if you tell him you made something savoury because you remembered he’s not fond of sweets.
The Adeuce combo would loiter around your kitchen, snacking half your dough without contributing any help whatsoever (Deuce tries, Ace never had any intention to from the start). One thing’s for sure: if Ace or Deuce ever have to bake an apology tart for an unbirthday party again, they already know who they’re recruiting. It’s also a great reason to stop by your dorm more often than they already do.
He would never admit it, if you made something for him, Ace would feel his heart beat a little faster. Instead he’d poke your cheek and make a nonchalant comment about how you must be so in love with him that you couldn’t stop thinking about him but the way his delivery stutters a little and the fact he can’t quite meet your eyes gives him away. Don’t mention if his ears turn red either (or tease him about it~).
Contrary to his roommate, Deuce is adorably honest about his appreciation for your hard work. You made this for him? Just because? There are a few seconds where his brain buffers while deciding what to do, would hugging you be too forward? But wouldn’t bowing be too formal? It’s honestly very cute to watch how his face flushes a colour that’s a nice contrast to the blue mark next to his eye as he stammers out his gratitude, especially if you’re not (yet) dating or haven’t been for long. 
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SAVANACLAW
Leona was probably lazing around your dorm already and you woke him up from a nap with the noise of kitchen equipment and the different scents filling the air. He’d slink over to watch you work, offering unhelpful comments while leaning his entire weight on you. Because of his upbringing his palette is obnoxiously refined but he’s the one helping himself to more of what you just took out of the oven, so he’s not sly.
Ruggie can smell that you’re baking something good before even entering your dorm. Sure, most beastmen have a keen sense of smell but when it comes to food, nobody zeroes in quite as fast as the hyena. He’ll join you in the kitchen under the guise of learning a new recipe from you- and he is! It’s just that he’s also sneaking a treat or two off your baking tray.
Jack would help carry and stir stuff for you but he’d mostly keep to the background and let you do your thing, afraid to accidentally ruin the pastries or what you’re making, his nose and tail do twitch at the pleasant scent though. Since he’s an athlete, Jack makes sure to watch his diet but he’d never refuse to try what you made.
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OCTAVINELLE
As the head of Mostro Lounge, Azul is always on the lookout for new items to add to the menu, so he takes quite the interest in your recipes. With a few tweaks here and there… For him to enjoy them in private though, he’ll study the recipe for different reasons. Of course he will try everything you make at least once, but the housewarden is still very conscious of his appearance, so he’ll enjoy your baking in measured amounts.
Jade, much like his childhood friend, is very intrigued by what you’re making but not out of business reasons. The eel is much more interested in how your recipes compare to his native ones and he’s already thinking of new things to try the next time around. As with everything, Jade loves to tease and fluster you, so of course he has to show you how to perfectly roll out the dough by caging you between himself and the counter. 
Perhaps you should think twice about letting Floyd into your kitchen. If he asks to let him help you, chances are he’s in a good mood, which is positive for his enthusiasm but detrimental to keeping your dorm clean. Sure, the eel is quite competent when it comes to preparing food but by the time your tray is in the oven, you, him and the floor are covered in flour.
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SCARABIA
The first time you offered something homemade to Kalim, he had to refuse with a begging side glance to Jamil. Afterwards, he reasoned with Jamil that if he just joined you in baking, he could be sure of everything that went into the treats and so his vice housewarden relented. Against what people might think, Kalim is not actually half bad at baking, you just have to walk him through all the steps slowly. He might never have baked something himself before but he makes up for it with enthusiasm and the will to learn, plus he makes the whole thing super fun from beginning to end.
The first time Jamil sees you baking, it’s late in the evening and he just dragged himself over to your dorm for some much needed rest. But when he sees you working around the oven, there’s a split second where all the alarm bells in his head go off to thwart impending doom, until he remembers that you probably know what you’re doing and he relaxes. Old habits and all that. After that day, he’ll join you in the kitchen from time to time, if his schedule allows it. There’s no doubt about his capabilities, so Jamil’s always welcome to join you but he also appreciates that you don’t expect him to, which makes this a nice way to wind down for him. Also gets easily flustered if you make something for him and him only.
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POMEFIORE
Vil would also compliment your hard work. Sure, he might offer some constructive criticism (if he knows it won’t hurt your feelings) so you can improve even further the next time around, but he’s also not hesitating to point out everything that deserves praise. He might click his tongue if you get cream on your face but will gently wipe it away and dust the flour off your clothes with a fond smile.
Rook is just as excited and eccentric as always, raving about the beauty of baking and how lovely you are for creating something so delicious. It doesn’t matter if you’re making the simplest cookies known to man, to him it might as well be a three tier cake.
Epel would be so happy if you made something with the apples his family sent him, but he appreciates it either way. He’s also really talented when it comes to decorating -probably because of his years spent carving apples- and he feels really manly when you ask him to stir something, knead the dough or carry ingredients.
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IGNIHYDE
Idia is probably running through every anime and dating sim with a baking arc he’s ever watched/ played and his hair tinges pink as you invite him over. You’re at the intimacy level already to unlock this super domestic route? He really wants to save state irl, so he can keep coming back to this, both in case he messes up and to relive this moment.
Ortho would be a sweetheart, setting timers and looking up recipes and techniques if you’re stuck. He compliments your work and laments lightheartedly that he can’t smell or taste anything, saying he’ll pester Idia into inventing olfactory and gustatory receptors, so he can get the full experience next time.
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DIASOMNIA
Congrats, you now have a very curious fae prince on your hands. Not only is he studying your recipes and ingredients with great interest, Malleus is just as fascinated by baking utensils running on electricity. Do yourself a favour and invite him for tea afterwards where you can serve your treats, he will be puddy in your hands.
Watch your bowls carefully when Lilia is around while you’re baking. There is a good chance the fae will try adding a few ingredients of his own and it will not end well for anyone involved. He’ll playfully pout about you rejecting his help and deflecting from the topic but a second later he’s laughing about how cute you are for wanting to make something for him by yourself.
Silver would fall asleep when surrounded by the good smells, the warmth of the oven preheating, your lovely voice and the kitchen sounds. He can’t help it, it’s such a relaxing environment and it puts him at ease and therefore also to sleep. But, ever the charming knight, he would help you clean up afterwards and very genuinely compliment your hard work with a soft smile.
Sebek will yap up a storm on how ‘your human recipes can’t hold a candle to briar valley’s supreme cuisine’ but he’s oddly docile once he actually taste tests. If you tease him about his earlier statements, he will flush red, trying to save face but also not wanting to lie about liking your baking.
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© the-travelling-witch 2023 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit
if you like my content, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated (also, yes, there will be second parts for the characters) ♡
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Twisted Wonderland: @savanaclaw1996 @honehbee42
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loganhowlettshousewife · 1 month ago
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i want everyone to know that i woke up at 2am and grabbed my phone and typed out the draft version of this, and then promptly fell back asleep. i literally could not remember a word of what i’d written when i woke up. anyway here’s the drabble that came to me in my dreams apparently.
-
logan falls for you, hard. and for once, he’s not afraid of it. he’s dangerous and always hurts those around him, directly or indirectly it doesn’t matter. he hates getting close to people just to watch them get hurt again and again, watch them start to resent him for the bloodshed that seems to follow wherever he goes.
but with you it’s different. you can heal, just like him. you get injured on a mission and the stab wound knits itself back together, the bullet hole closes. you don’t have a single scar on your body; someone who didn’t know any better would think you’d never been through any hardships.
he wakes from a nightmare, claws in your chest, and panics for a moment as he pulls them out, watching your shocked face. but your expression melts into a loving one in a moment, pain receding as quickly as it came, your hand reaching out to cup his face. 
“‘i’m okay,” you tell him, and it’s true. your pretty silk pajama top is ruined, but through the holes in the fabric he can see the smooth skin of your chest, unmarred. the blood remains, a reminder that he’s hurt you, but you just hold him tight until you fall back asleep. 
he watches you and wonders how he got so lucky, how there could be someone so perfectly suited for him. not just in your personality and appearance, because he’s fallen for many people in his two centuries of living, but someone he can’t ever hurt.
his biggest fear, suddenly made irrelevant.
the first time you have sex, you tell him to let go, not to worry, he can’t hurt you. the animal part of him yearns to claim you, violent and intense the way his nature wants him to be. and for once, he can.
he’s close, pounding into you harder, goaded on by your cries of his name. he leans down as if to kiss you but goes for your neck instead, canines sinking into the skin, breaking the surface and drawing blood. he pulls back, licking the blood off his lips, your blood, and that’s the final push you need. your orgasm hits you like a wave, and you clench around logan, who groans and thrusts into you one, two, three more times before coming.
it’s as he’s cleaning you up that he notices something strange. at first he’s confused, and then his stomach drops. you’re not healing. he wipes the remaining blood from your neck, as if when he moves the washcloth away it’ll be gone. it’s not.
you must see it on his face, because you giggle and say, “i wanna keep it. want everyone to know i’m yours.”
and fuck, that does something to him. he’s possessive of those he cares about, but it’s usually treated as an inconvenience, an annoyance. but you love it, you revel in his possessiveness.
“how are you- it’s not healing?” he’s still confused, but secretly pleased. 
“logan,” you whisper, “you know my healing is different from yours, right? i have the power to heal myself and others. it’s not automatic like yours, i can control it.”
he didn’t know that, actually, but he’s glad. because it’s just one more thing about you that makes you perfect in his eyes, more than perfect in fact. you’re choosing not to heal the mark he left on you, claiming you as his. you’re accepting it, accepting logan even with all his flaws and detriments.
you never heal any of the marks that logan gives you. no, those you wear with pride.
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barcaatthemoon · 4 months ago
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game time || jill roord x reader ||
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jill cockwarms you while she finished playing a game.
smut, 18+, minors dni.
"jill," you whined for what felt like the tenth time in half as many minutes. jill was absolutely engrossed in her game, just like she had been all day. she had let you sleep after picking you up from the airport, which was when she began playing this game. you had hoped that after you woke up, jill would have switched her attention to you, but that wasn't the case.
"i am so close to being done, just be patient," jill told you. she had been saying that for the past hour or so. you were on the verge of getting up and going to watch something in the bedroom by yourself, but you wanted so badly to be with jill.
"jill, please put the controller down for a little while. i miss you so much, and i just want to spend time with you," you told her. jill sighed as she paused her game momentarily. you were pouting at her when she looked at you in a way that told jill everything she needed to hear.
"i'll be back." jill stood from the couch and left you there by yourself. true to her word, jill came back a couple minutes later. immediately, your attention was taken by the fake cock jutting out from between jill's legs. the pale blue almost blended in with jill's manchester city sweatpants, but you never would have been able to miss the toy. "sit on it for me, and be still. every time that you move or disturb me, you'll have to stay for longer."
your face went pale as you thought about her terms. you had never been great at being still, but maybe with jill inside of you, it'd be different. gingerly, you stood up from the couch and undressed yourself. jill made you stand in front of her while her fingers teased your cunt to make sure that it was ready to take her strap.
"you're so tight baby, this is going to feel so good." jill pulled her hand back to taste your arousal. you bit your lip as her hand returned to your cunt, this time with one single digit inside of you. jill fucked you slowly, only adding another finger when she felt like the first slipped out without enough resistance.
"jill, kiss me, please," you begged. jill's tongue flicked out to lick her lips. the action only made you want her even more as memories of messy makeout sessions flooded your mind. you thought about the countless nights that the two of you had spent with jill's knee pressing against your core as she kissed you again and again.
"come here baby," jill ordered gently as she moved her hand away again. you let yourself be guided down onto her strap, now facing her as you sat in her lap. you sank down each inch of jill's cock slowly, only moving with her hands as she guided you. "now, i need you to keep still for me. tell me now if you don't think you can do that."
"how long until you finish your game?" you asked her.
"shouldn't be too long. this is the last mission, and if it isn't, i'll stop when i finish it," jill promised you. you nodded and sank the final little bit onto her cock. jill gave you a couple of quick kisses before she turned back to her game. your body rested against's jill's, and for the first few moments, it was easy enough to pretend that you were just cuddling.
jill stayed fairly still until she began to hit hitches in her game. she shifted around in her seat, each time jostling the dildo inside of you. you bit back your moans until you physically couldn't, even though you were afraid of distracting jill even further.
the fact that she wasn't paying to you only made you feel more turned on. jill seemed to completely disregard you sitting on top of her. you and jill were no stranger to little games like this, but it had never quite felt like this. you were a bit more turned on than normal, and it had definitely been a lot longer than what you were used to since jill had touched you last.
"jill," you let out a small whine. you were starting to feel really full in a way that you weren't used to. it was like she was right where you needed her to be, but still so far away. your body was screaming for you to move, but you knew that jill had no issues with making you sit here for hours without any sort of relief. "i don't know how much more i can take of this."
"you're doing so well. i'm almost finished," jill told you. it was subtle, but you could feel the rocking of her hips as she sat playing her game. jill had always been good at knowing exactly what you wanted when you didn't know how to ask for it.
jill's thumb rubbed against your thigh, a simple grounding method that she had used before when this sort of thing became too much for you. jill knew that you were trying hard for her, that none of this was exactly what you had wanted when you landed. jill felt a little bit of guilt tug at her, so she set her controller down on the coffee table.
"can i move you?" jill asked. you nodded, and almost instantly, jill flipped both of you so that you were pinned beneath her on the couch. "do you want me to go fast or slow?"
"slow," you answered. jill nodded and began to slowly thrust her hips in and out of you. she moved all of the way out of you and bottomed out inside of you with each thrust. jill cradled your face in her hands and pressed soft kisses to your lips in between the whisperings of sweet nothings.
"i love you so much," jill told you. you tried to say it back, but all of your words felt like they just slurred together. jill had barely been doing anything to you, and she already had you feeling cock drunk. you were needy and desperate, and jill knew that she move a bit faster to get you through this.
she was still as gentle as ever as she sped up her thrusts. jill leaned down, and you felt like you were in a bubble. all that you could focus on was jill as she pressed kisses to whatever bit of skin that she could get her mouth on. the slight distraction was welcome, and just what you needed to ground yourself long enough to really chase after your release.
"come here baby," you muttered as you pulled jill's head against your chest. she happily laid on the couch with you, neither of you making any attempts to move somewhere more comfortable even as your bodies began to ache. "i missed you."
"tomorrow is all for you. anything that you want, just the two of us," jill promised. you hummed happily at the thought of that. you weren't sure how long you'd be in manchester for before you got called in for pre-season practice and wanted to spend the most amount of time with jill before then that you could.
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simpxxstan · 4 months ago
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hellaur been thinking of single-girl-dad wonu and reader who've been with him through up and down.. just had a dream of him taking care of a toddler i wanna ask him hand in marriage 😫
it could be spicy or floofy fluff, wanna see ur thoughts on this 💋
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thank you for your request!! i hope i haven't made you wait too long T_T i was so soft while writing this, i really really really hope you like it <3 really wanted to post this on 17th july but i'm late (as always) happy belated birthday wonwoo!!! hope you're happy forever <3
this is part of my 550 followers celebration event! find the rest of the content of this event here!
genre: fluff, single dad au, friends to lovers, mutual pining
word count: 4k
warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff. mildly suggestive tones if you squint but nothing really. just- girl dad and simp wonu.
wonwoo knows he's probably never going to forget that day of his life. that day he woke up to the sound of the doorbell, and a child crying outside his apartment. that day when his ex-girlfriend dropped the child off at his doorstep after informing him that this is his daughter. that day when he learnt that the girlfriend he broke up with a year ago had actually borne and raised his child without even informing him. until this day, when she'd suddenly been thrust upon him along with the news that his ex was now getting married to someone from a different country and she could not possibly take the child with her.
and wonwoo had just stared at the little creature sitting in his lap, unable to say anything, unable to even form coherent thoughts. in the background, he could faintly hear his ex's voice blabber on as she wound up excuse-after-excuse of how she has to leave to marry some chaebol and how it's been a crazy year and how she's tried to reach him but never ended up doing it because her parents couldn't afford for her to go into the public with the baby and how she hasn't named the child yet because she was too afraid to get attached to the baby.
he sat there on his couch, staring at the little daughter who looked so much like him that even a random stranger would be able to understand she was his child, even as she left, promising that she'd never see him or the child again.
and wonwoo sat like that until you walked in through the door, drained after a nineteen-hour shift, still wearing your scrubs and your hands shaking with exhaustion, but still carrying a box of fried chicken and two bottles of soju.
"who's this?" your voice had broken him out of his trance and he'd looked up after staying frozen in that state for hours.
"my daughter."
wonwoo could see the way your eyes widened under your glasses and your breath speed up in that one second. "is she?"
"yes. rhea dropped her off."
"rhea? like rhea from college?"
"yeah."
you don't say anything else. you just drop the food on the dining table and pick up the child from wonwoo's arms. "she needs to change her diapers. can't you smell it?"
he had stared up at you, still not fully back in reality. "i don't have any."
"well, let's go out and buy some then."
_
and wonwoo hadn't questioned it. he still doesn't question it as you sit at his dining table, feeding his four year daughter soup because she's caught fever after playing in the rain. he didn't question it yesterday when you'd woken up in the middle of the night in feverish delusion and called for eomma. he doesn't question it when you know more about her than he does.
"hey" he says when he walks into the room, his hair still messy from sleeping in. both the girls in his life turn to look at him, identical smiles plastered on your faces, and wave at him. wonwoo doesn't know if it's possible for his heart to feel this full every day and survive even after nearly suffer a heart attack every time he wakes up to this sight, but he doesn't question it.
"there's bread and soup for brunch if you want some." he sits down next to you, your knees almost touching his, and reaches out to pat the cheeks of his daughter who's sitting on your lap. "she's eaten it all like a good girl. so you should do." you softly land his daughter in his lap, and stand up.
"daddy's girl is just perfect, aren't you, baby?" wonwoo hugs her close, worrying about how her tiny body is still warm, but at least there's food in her tummy now.
"she is. i'll leave now, wonwoo."
"sorry for calling you last night. i didn't know what to do when she called for you."
you smile but wonwoo can see how tired your eyes are.
"you did the right thing. call me again if you need me. i'll come around anyway tonight." wonwoo nods.
"bye-bye eunchae-ah! i'll see you later."
when you lean in to kiss eunchae on her cheeks, wonwoo's face right next to his daughter's, he almost feels your kiss on his cheek too. but it doesn't come. it never does. he smiles at his own foolishness, before he waves you goodbye, following his daughter's actions too.
_
he wishes you didn't have to leave every day. he has a bedroom dedicated for you. he has a toothbrush for you. he has an assigned chair on the dining table for you. his daughter calls you eomma in the depths of the night. his mind calls for you whenever he feels out of his depths. his body craves for you every time he sees you.
he wishes you didn't have to leave.
but you're back every time like you promise. you come right back, to take care of him and his daughter. like tonight, wonwoo knows as he sneaks a peek at the elepant clock on the wall.
eunchae's fever is slowly coming back, and wonwoo's given her the syrupy medicine but he knows what she's really craving is cuddles. he holds her close, reading out a storybook to her in a soft voice he reserves for his girls, but he knows he can't sit like this for long. his stream is scheduled at nine-thirty, and he has to be on time because the stakes are high tonight.
the clock strikes nine and wonwoo hears the door unlock. "y/n-ie is home!" eunchae immediately breaks out of her sleepy daze and squeals out, "y/n-ie! come fast! dad's reading the story about the pirates!" "is he?" you open the door and lean against the frame. wonwoo's heart skips a beat as he sees the way your heart shines with love as you look at eunchae, your hair falling all over your face after the long day at work. "but maybe y/n-ie can read it out for princess eunchae? dad will get dinner in the meantime." you step up closer to where the two of them are snuggled up in wonwoo's bed, "i'll read the rest out for you. and maybe i can show you pictures of the new puppy hansol rescued today?" eunchae's eyes light up, all exhaustion from the fever disappearing at the sound of her favourite uncle, hansol, and the puppies he rescues. wonwoo takes that as his cue to leave you with eunchae. when he tries to get up, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed, you lean forward to squeeze his shoulders. "is today the day of the match?" "hmm." "well, good luck then, champ."
wonwoo grins. "i don't need luck. you know that."
_
he doesn't know where the earlier confidence had come from, but it's certainly gone now. he's nearly died three times already and he cannot afford to make any more slips. he knows the money's coming in steady, but it's not half close to the mental target he'd placed for tonight's stream. he has to do better for the money to come up faster so he focuses his entire being on the final round of the match.
and he does not disappoint. he wins fair and square, albeit by the narrow margin. the money rapidly builds in the last few moments of the game, when he shoots down every minion of the opponent, and finally the opponent's main character itself.
when the stream finally ends, and he turns off the computer's video and audio, he can finally take a break. it's three am on the computer's clock, and his eyes burn. the adrenaline pumps through his veins but as soon as his headphones are off, he can feel reality reeling him again.
after a small snack stolen from the fridge and a shower in warm water, he finally makes way to his bedroom. he doesn't expect you to be awake, but he certainly doesn't expect seeing you sleeping soundly in his bed, your legs tangled in his comforter, and his daughter snuggled against your chest, spread across the entire bed as if it's not his bed. but then, what even is his? not his bedroom, not his daughter, and certainly not his heart.
he presses a light kiss on eunchae's forehead and pats your hair once, to which you let out a sleepy whimper. before he can let his mind wander at that sound, he escapes from the room and goes to the guest bedroom.
_
"are you winning games only to be banished from your own bedroom? you should've asked me to move!" you stomp your leg and whine when you see wonwoo sitting in the bed of the guest bedroom the next morning, lazily brushing his teeth. your pajamas are not yours- they're ones you've borrowed so often from him that it's nearly become yours. but they're still too loose at your legs, dangling below your feet. your eyes are red with sleep in spite of waking up at nine am, so thank god it's your off-day.
wonwoo pulls you by your arm and makes you flop down on the bed next to him. he removes the toothbrush from his mouth, the foam still in his mouth, but he mouths coffee. "god, you're so dirty. clean your mouth before talking. what is eunchae going to learn?" but wonwoo can see that your vexing is all made-up because it takes one tug on your arm to make you burst into a smile.
it's a special day- it's three years since wonwoo officially adopted eunchae and became her father on all legal papers. it's an emotional day every year, but a happy one. wonwoo does not regret adopting eunchae for even one second. it's been quite a hectic journey and he wouldn't be anywhere without your help but he wouldn't go back for a billion dollars. eunchae has completed his life in more ways than one. she's shown him unconditional trust and reciprocated his love without a second's hesitation. she's changed him from an anxious, private person to a person who is more open towards embracing challenges now and even more accepting towards all twists of fate. and most importantly, she's brought you to him.
she's given him his own family- one that he didn't even know he needed. but he's found a home away from home and it's the best part of his life. a family that doesn't judge him for being twenty-five and choosing to be a pro-gamer instead of a proper job as his own family had said. a family that lets him be clueless about life because they take care of him instead. a family that doesn't care about social appearances and going out, and chooses simple home barbecue with friends over getting drunk in clubs.
after he brushes his teeth, he walks out of the room to the living space, and finds you sitting with eunchae at the couch, who's sipping berry milkshake and colouring into her sketchbook. "look who's up, chaechae!" his daughter looks up and shouts out his name, and he scoots over and sits next to her on the couch, pulling her tiny legs into his own. you quickly shift your body away so that he doesn't crash into you, but wonwoo wishes you weren't so considerate. "i made coffee. and i'm going to make wraps with the leftovers from what you made yesterday. can you get her bathed after this? i'll get breakfast ready by then."
_
wonwoo hates it and loves it at the same time.
it being whenever the two of you drop eunchae at her school.
he hates it because he's always too sad to see his baby go off into school without even looking back at him once because she's just that excited to meet her friends. he hates it because all the parents assume that the two of you are a couple and keep asking you over to their houses for your kids to have playdates. he hates the other alternative too- when he clarifies that you're just friends, some of the mothers begin flirting with him too much and he's desperate for you to save him, but you totally encourage it. "you should start dating again, you know. it would do you good, now that eunchae's grown up." god no. it would do him no good- not when his heart is convinced that he's already dating a certain doctor who loves his daughter like her own.
and yet he loves it. he loves it because you stay beyond breakfast on these days, help him dress eunchae and also pamper her with a bubble bath. he loves it because you bathe in his shower on these days, and come out smelling like his shower gel. he loves it because you spend the entire day with him, talking to him about your patients and about your coworkers. he loves it because it's the only day he gets you completely to himself- he doesn't even schedule any events or streams on this day. it's his favourite day of the week, better than any weekend. he has a set plan for it, and it never fails. here's how it goes:
step 1 of the day- he drives around town and 'accidentally' stumbles upon a pretty-looking cafe that he suggests the two of you could try, and you, thankfully everytime, say yes.
"where do you wanna go today?" you ask him, and wonwoo's scared for a second that you've caught his act. no, surely not. "we could just drive around, you know."
step 1 success.
step 2 of the day- he offers to drop you home and let you rest, but you, thankfully everytime, never agree to his offer, saying that you want to enjoy a day out in the sun with him, because you're literally always stuck in the ER.
"i could drop you home. you could take a well-deserved break." "nah, i would much rather spend it with you. i'll just drown in my own head if i stay at home."
step 2 success.
step 3 of the d-
"we could go back to your place. we could binge the new series that's come out last friday. heard amazing reviews." you suggest casually, while scrolling something on your phone.
wonwoo actually almost crashes the car as he turns 90 degrees to look at you. this is unexpected. this is unprecedented. this has never happened before in the last three years of your whatever-ship.
"series?" when he speaks, his voice comes out weakly. "yeah, criminal and supernatural. just the genres we both love." fuck, you run a strong case.
wonwoo only hesitates for a second, before he makes a u-turn to go back home- because what's better than sitting across a table at a public cafe buying overpriced coffee? sitting together at the couch at home watching quality television.
_
wonwoo's too stressed about leaving eunchae behind with hansol and seungkwan. he's sure they'll mess up something or the other, but you're stern. "wonwoo, they'll be fine! she's four years old. grown up enough. and you know how much sollie and kwannie love her." "exactly- they love her too much. they'll never be able to say no to her." "and they won't have to. our eunchae is smart enough to not ask for unreasonable things. have faith in your parenting."
wonwoo wants to say: i have no faith in my parenting, but full faith in yours. but he doesn't. instead he quietly continues driving. it's your college reunion party- and it's the first time in years that you and wonwoo are attending. "i can't believe it's been five years since we got out of college." "well, eunchae's four."
you laugh, "you're right. wonwoo, i have no sense of time. it feels like only yesterday that we began talking in class." as you two walk into the hall decorated beautifully and filled with people, wonwoo's arm in yours. there are many known faces in the crowd ahead, but he can say, confidently and unbiasedly, that you're the most beautiful.
"don't remind me, please. it was so embarrassing to see seungcheol tell you that i had a crush on you." you laugh even harder, "but it was so funny! i didn't even know before that day, so i gotta thank seungcheol." "you look just as good as you did that day when i took your number." you look away for a second before looking up at him again. "is that so, mr jeon? you think i still look like a half-dead med student who's trying to survive with four hours of sleep and packed kimbap-" "no! don't misunderstand me," wonwoo fake-pouts at your fake-anger, and you both burst out laughing. "well, you don't have a crush on me anymore, so i'm certain the charm of the half-dead med student has worn off."
it's not, wonwoo's arm pulls you in tighter. god, he wishes he was not a coward. he wishes he could tell you that the charm has doubled, tripled, quadrupled every year, and he cannot imagine loving any woman as much as he loves you.
the evening definitely starts off better than wonwoo had expected. everyone seems to have forgotten how awkward and quiet wonwoo was back in college, and only remembered how good a gamer he was and how handsome he was back then. it's surprising how many people claim to be his fans here, and wonwoo feels his chest fill up. when he brings drinks for you both, he sees you speaking to rhea. "i see you've met y/n, rhea." "yes, well! i had no idea that she's so involved in taking care of our daughter."
our child? there's a spike of anger that rushes through his brain and wonwoo sees red. instinctively, your hand finds his own and squeezes his palm, a slight smile tugging at your lips, evidently asking him to back off. but wonwoo doesn't want to back off. even if rhea creates a scene right now, he doesn't care. he would much rather go home to his daughter rather than be here amidst people who don't even like him.
"i'm right glad you left eunchae with me when you did. y/n's raised her as her own daughter, and thank god we don't have to confuse her with another wannabe mother figure who didn't think before abandoning her."
rhea opens her mouth to say something, but you pull him away quickly, saying your goodbyes. you find the nearest exit, and pull wonwoo into the fresh air of the night.
"there was no need for snapping at her, wonwoo." you push him against a wall gently, rubbing your hand over his arms to ground him. "how dare she say eunchae's her child? she doesn't even know her name, for god's sake. she has no claim on her!" "she's literally her biological mother-" "so what? she dumped her on me, on you! you're a hundred times more her mother than rhea is!"
you stay stunned for a second, the wind blowing your hair away from your face. "what?"
"you've raised her, y/n. you're her mother, and i know eunchae will agree me 100% on-"
you take a step back. wonwoo takes a step forward, his heart panicking at the thought of losing you.
"wonwoo, i'm... i can't..."
"do you not realise it? why she calls you eomma?"
"but i- i don't mean to replace... i don't mean to take anyone's place..." another step back.
"whose place? there's literally no one else," another step ahead.
"your future wife... or girlfriend... or whoever will be her mother-" another step back and your back hits the wall.
wonwoo takes another step closer to you, towering over your figure. "there's going to be no one else. no one. no other mother figure in her life. or in mine."
you gulp, your breath still weak as you pant softly. "what are you saying wonwoo?"
"i'm saying i love you." fuck. that feels better to say out loud- a large boulder getting off his chest. he doesn't know what you're going to say, but it sure feels good to get it out. "i don't know how you feel. but i want to tell you how i feel, because i'm tired of being a coward. it's because i am coward that people like rhea have the audacity to say things like that. y/n, i've loved you for so many years now. my crush on you since that day seungcheol introduced us? never went away. not just because you're my best friend but also because you've taken care of me and given so much to me unconditionally through the years. without you- i wouldn't have been here, eunchae would've gone to another family through social services, and i would be a person living a hollow life with no love-"
"i would always be here, wonwoo. i'm your best friend-"
"but you've also become so much more. you've become my family, my saviour and guiding force, and my daughter's eomma. she wants nobody but you. i want nobody but you."
there's tears welling up in your eyes and wonwoo's heart aches. his hands automatically wrap around your face, wiping away the tears. "what's wrong, y/n-ie? i know this may have been a shock and you probably hate me for dumping this on-"
"i love you, jeon wonwoo!" your voice is weak, strangled.
"what?"
you twist your face to lightly peck at his hand that's cupping your cheeks. "i love you. i have loved you. i'm sorry i didn't know you felt the same way for so long..."
wonwoo's body melts and caves in. there was a wild tension which had been running in his body for so long but it dissipates totally now. he inches your face up towards him.
"shhhhh, baby. can i kiss you? i'm sick of loving you in secret. i want to show you how much i love you."
as soon as you nod, he leans in to claim your lips, your taste sweet like sugar and just as good as he had imagined it to be. your hands wrap around his shoulders, pulling him in closer towards you, your back completely flat against the wall. wonwoo grips your face and wraps around your waist at the same time.
it's honestly a miracle that you two haven't touched in the last three years where you've gotten so close. yes, the accidental brushing of hands, the affectionate hand patting hair, the playful punches and the mild tugging of arms. but nothing close to what wonwoo's wanted to do with you.
and now that you have started, he can't let go.
"baby?" his voice is raspy as he breaks the kiss, a string of spit linking your mouth to his, your chests heaving against each other. "yes?" "can you say it once more?" "hmm?" "you..." "i love you? yes i do." and wonwoo picks you up in his arms, not caring about how your legs flutter in the air as he spins around in joy. "what's this, jeon wonwoo! don't be a child!" "i'm just so happy." he finally puts you down, but doesn't let you get far.
"you know, it's such a wonderful conincidence that eunchae is safe with hansol and kwannie today. maybe we should take advantage?" the smirk on your lips give it all away, as you smack his chest. "and i thought you only loved me for your baby." "well, i intend to drive all mythical thoughts out of your pretty head tonight, baby."
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shelbgrey · 1 year ago
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Dating Scott Summers:
Paring: Scott Summers x Mutant!Reader
Summary: Scott Summers falling in love with a beautiful mutant girl -NSFW content warring
A/n: this won the poll! Please send request for x-men!
❤️MasterList ❤️Dating mood board
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You were there for about 10 years before Scott was brought to the school whith bandages over his eyes. He was so scared to hurt anyone and you felt terrible.
Not to toot your own horn, but you made his first pair of ruby quartz glasses. You got help from your friend Hank McCoy in the Lab and created the red glasses he wears today.
Scott will never not be impressed with you. If you ask him he fell in love with you the moment he got to look at your through the glasses. “your Amazing”
It always bugs him that he can't see you and your natural colors, with his glasses everything is red.
Scott worked hard to win your heart. In to your adult years and your X-men years you guys wold always stare at each other with puppy eyes, but both parties were afraid to make the first move.
“your really falling for this girl, aren't you?” his brother Alex asked. “she's not just some girl”
Let me start off by saying that Scott has eyes for you and only you. Your confession had took a huge step back when Jean Grey started showing interest in Scott. She was everything you were insecure about and you often compared yourself to her in the worst way possible.
Scott never took a second glance at Jean, he wanted you. Jean knew that and it angered her, she wanted Scott to herself. Jean also knew you'd always be to shy to admit your feeling to Scott, so she used it to her advantage.
Scott wanted to tell you he loved you so bad, but he always felt you deserved better. He wanted you to have a guy that could look at you without red-tinted glasses, he wanted you to have someone who wasn't dangerous.
“you know, girls like her don't wait around forever” Xavier told him one day. “do you guys relize the affection you two share?”
Scott sighed, during that week you'd been avoiding him. He hated it and didn't know Jean had been pushing you guys apart without you realizing it. Scott looked down. “she deserves the world, Professor”
“if you want her to have the world tell her how you feel. Because to her you are the world” Xavier told him”
He will always regret telling you how he felt because of the situation you were in. It was a mission gone wrong which resulted you staying in the med-bay in the mansion. Scott never left your bed side. His heart pounded with anxiety the longer you layed in bed unresponsive.
The next morning you woke up with him holding your hand and his head on your lap. You were relived to see him and it made your heart flutter that he stayed with you. You gently ruffled his hair, waking him up.
He woke up and tears pricked his eyes as relief washed over him. He cupped your face gently and pressed his forehead to yours. He was shaking so much. “your okay... Please don't ever leave me”
He looked into your eyes and took a deep breath. You don't know how bad he wanted to see your natural eye color and not just see the red tint from his glasses. “I love you... Everything about you amazes me, your everything to me”
“I love you more” you smiled softly. You shared your first kiss that night, this kiss was so gentle but held so many years of bottled up tension and emotions. He held you carefully, like as if you were made of glass and his kisses were driven by so much relief and unconditional love.
That's what you too shared, unconditional love.
Scott's so gentle with you. Deep down he's scared you'll break or scared he'll somehow end up hurting you with his mutation, that's his worst fear. His always so gentle and loving with you.
He loves your mutation, he thinks you look badass and sexy when you use it. Your mutation is the power to conger up blue fire in your palms.
He'll only call you beautiful or gorgeous. He feel like you deserve a compliment better than sexy or hot. He always makes sure you know how beautiful you are.
He's big on hand holding too, if your walking around the city your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had if your setting down at a table or something.
He holds your hand whenever he can, that his way of showing off that your his girl.
He's rough in bed, but a gentle kisser. The gentlest kisses he gives out it is in the early hours of morning before you get up to teach your classes.
Yes, you both are teachers at Xavier's school. Yall never left that damn place. He's the engineering and self defense teacher while your the English and creative writing teacher.
He loves leaving red roses on your desk all the time. That's one of his love languages.
He's always afraid of hurting you, especially with his mutation. But you trust him enough to even take off his glasses to see his full face, he still get scared and keeps his eyes shut tight. “It’s okay. You’re not gonna hurt me,” you whispered. You leaned forward slowly, careful to his face. You kissed the part of his forehead, just above his left eye. Then the right.
This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.
He also loves teasing you and getting you all flustered. He thinks it's the cutest thing in the world when you blush after a compliment or if he kisses you.
“I can't concentrate when you do that” you laughed. He was standing behind you while his hands moved around you. “doing what?” he said, kissing your neck.
By the way, this man is extremely protective of you. It doesn't matter if your on a mission with the rest of the X-men or just out getting groceries. Your protection and safety is his main priority.
He's so afraid of losing you, your the best thing that's ever happened to him and he doesn't want to screw it up. Of course he doesn't have to worry about that.
God, this man loves everything about you. You have a couple of tattoos, he wants to know about them. It doesn't matter what type of hair you have or if you like it or not, he loves it. He'll love your voice, body, personality... Everything.
If your in bed he'll always have his arms around you. Rather your the little spoon or your on his chest. But sometimes if his day is rough he'd want to be the little spoon. His favorite feeling in the world is your arms around him and your fingers running through his hair.
He also loves it when you curl up on his lap and a cuddle to his chest. It the best feeling to him, especially on your way home on the X-jet after a long mission.
You call him everything but Scott. Usually its Scotty, honey, or Sweetheart.
He loves calling you Baby or Angel. And he always refers to you as 'his girl'. No mater if your his wife or girlfriend, your gonna get called 'his girl'
You love listening to old rock music together. If it's just the two of you he'll sing with you and on the occasion you can convince him to dance with you.
Your Favorite singer to listen to is Meatloaf. Your song is definitely 'you took the words right out of my mouth'
You love riding on the back of his motorcycle. He loves feeling your arms wrapped around him and holding on to him while he drives.
Like I said before he's super over protective, so if your on the back of his motorcycle he's driving more careful than he ever has before. If he's by himself he'll drive at an unsafe speed and pop a couple of wheels, but if your with him he's carful as hell.
He'll also teach you how to ride one. He was so excited when you asked him to teach you.
He refuses to sleep unless you have fallen asleep first, he just needs to know your okay before he can have a good night sleep.
If your cold you'll steal his leather jackets, or you'll sleep in his old dress shirts. Also if the sun is brighter than usual you'll steal his spare ruby quartz glasses and used them as sunglasses.
Hell always remind you how beautiful you are. If you feel insecure about your self he's there to kiss you and tell you how amazing you are.
NSFW headcanons:
He's the most loving person during sex, hell he is all the time. He'll also try his best to make it as romantic as possible, if not he's always holding you close and kissing you so you know how much he loves you.
But he also doesn't mind being rough with you. If you push the right buttons, you'll be under him screaming his name as the headboard of the bed bangs against the wall.
There's also a tone of jealous sex. If he sees Logan shamelessly flirting with you expected to be tied to bed as fucks your brains out. If he sees Hank touch you in a way thats reserved only for him you’re pinned against the wall.
Bondeg kink. Handcuffs, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.
he'll bit you in the heat of the moment. He loves marking you up.
Dispite him being mostly rough in bed and pushes you to the point of screaming, he'll be so soft and gentle in the end. “you did so good for my baby, I wasn’t too rough was I? I didn't hurt you did I?”
One of his biggest kink is cumming inside you, seeing you filled up just makes him go crazy.
he loves grabbing you by the hips, literally squeezing his fingertips against your soft skin, holding you in the place or using them to help guide the pace.
If you want to take a shower and get cleaned up, Scott will lift you up in his arms and carry you to shower, he'll hold you safe and will be extremely gentle with your sensitive body.
Has a soft spot for sex in the shower, he loves holding you up against the wall, roughly while he drives his cock into you.
He love getting head. He loves the feeling of towering over you while he has you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.
Loves eating you out, your legs around his head. He loves your legs and thighs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.
He's a boob and ass man, He’ll push your bra up and take a nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls all around while he squeezes your ass, pulling you closer to his body. He loves it when you start moaning and tugging at his hair, He honestly can’t get enough.
He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “Don't hold back baby, let me hear you”
For aftercare, He will spend an exorbitant amount of time just kissing you, slowly and deeply, as he massages your thighs and hips. It's his way to calm you down and bringing you back to reality.
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itneverendshere · 6 months ago
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THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - four
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"
warnings: gun violence; blood;
word count: 7.1k
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You woke up confused staring at the oddly familiar ceiling, filled with posters ripped from the old magazines you’d gotten at a second-hand store. When you were sixteen is sounded like a great edgy idea. 
You were home.
What the—? How? 
Sitting up, the room felt stifling, the air thick with the stale smell of old wood and the faintest hint of your father’s cigarette smoke, a scent you had hoped never to encounter again. The heavy feeling in your chest wasn’t just the dread of being back; it was the memories flooding back, threatening to drown you.
The sound of a muffled argument seeped through the thin walls, pulling you back to the present. Your heart pounded in your ears as you recognized the angry, slurred voice of your father.
He was shouting at someone, probably your brother, just like he used to. The familiar clinking of bottles and the crash of something being thrown sent a shiver down your spine.
No. This wasn't real. This couldn’t be real.
You swung your legs over the side of the bed, feeling the rough crappy carpet under your feet. You stood up shakily. The hallway stretched out before you, longer than it should have been, and the flickering light cast eerie shadows on the peeling wallpaper.
As you approached the living room, the noise grew louder, more distinct. Your father’s voice, filled with venom and rage, scared the living hell out of you.
You reached the doorway and peered in, your breath catching in your throat. There he was, towering over your JJ, his face twisted in anger. Your little brother was cowering, trying to make himself as small as possible, his eyes filled with fear. The scene was a haunting echo of so many nights you’d tried to forget.
“No,” you whispered, fear bubbling up inside you. “This isn’t happening.”
But it was.
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti. JJ flinched with every movement, tears streaming down his cheeks, and the sight made your heart ache.
“Get out of my sight, you worthless—” your father roared, his voice a terrifying growl.
“No!” you screamed, stepping into the room before you even realized you were moving. “Stop it!”
Your father turned, his bloodshot eyes narrowing as they focused on you. For a moment, he only stared, probably to drunk to realize it was his own daughter.
Then, recognition set in, and his scowl deepened.
“You,” he spat, disgusted by your sight, “You think you can just walk back in here and tell me what to do?”
You couldn’t back down, not now. Not ever again.
“Leave him alone,” you said, your voice trembling, “He’s a child!”
Your father took a menacing step toward you, the bottle still clutched in his hand. “You’ve got some nerve, coming back here and talking to me like that. Looking exactly like her!”
Every instinct screamed at you to run, but you stood there. “I’m not afraid of you Luke,” you lied through your teeth.
His eyes flared with rage, and he raised the bottle, ready to hit you. You tensed up, waiting for the blow.
“Dad, please!” JJ’s voice broke through the tension, “Don’t hurt her.”
JJ’s plea just hung there, like this thin, fragile thread barely holding things together. For a second, your dad froze, his hand twitching, eyes darting between you and your brother.
And then, with this pissed-off roar, he chucked the bottle at the wall. It exploded into a million pieces, glass flying everywhere. The sound echoed through the house, loud and final, like it was the last brutal note in this nightmare that felt way too real.
“You’re a coward, you know that? Hitting your own children. You’re trash.” you spat out, the words flying from your mouth before you could stop them.
His face twisted, “What did you say to me?” He lunged at you, his hands going straight for your throat.
Panic hit hard as his grip tightened around your throat, stealing your breath. You clawed at his hands, desperate to break free, but he was way too strong, too determined.
Dark spots started creeping into your vision. You gasped, fighting for air, but he only squeezed harder. The room blurred and started spinning, and just when you thought you were about to pass out, his face began to change, shifting right in front of you. You blinked, trying to clear your head, and when you opened your eyes again, it wasn’t your dad choking you anymore.
It was Rafe.
Rafe's face, with a sickening grin, loomed over you. His eyes, filled with a cold, calculating malice, bore into yours. “You thought I’d be any different?” he sneered. “You signed your death sentence, pogue.”
The fear was paralyzing, like ice-cold dread flooding through your veins.Your heart hammered against your chest, but you couldn’t scream, couldn’t shout for help. His grip was solid, unbreakable, like he had no intention of letting go.
You struggled with everything you had, but it was like fighting through quicksand. Every move felt slow, heavy, like you were trapped in molasses.
As the edges of your vision began to fade, a new sound cut through the suffocating haze – JJ’s voice, calling your name. “Sis! Please, wake up! Wake up!”
With a final, desperate burst of energy, you tore yourself away from Rafe, his grip suddenly gone. You were falling, tumbling through darkness, and then–
You jolted awake, gasping for breath, your body drenched in sweat. The familiar ceiling of the motel room came into focus. The terror of the nightmare clung to you, and it made it hard to breathe.
Your hands went to your throat, feeling for bruises that weren’t there. It was just a dream, you told yourself, trying to calm your racing heart. Just a nightmare.
As your breath began to steady, you turned your head, feeling the sheets rustle against your skin.
The dim light of the room cast long shadows, and your heart sank when you saw Rafe lying next to you, his chest rising and falling in a deep, peaceful slumber. He was naked, his body partially covered by the sheets, a reminder of what you’d done hours ago.
A wave of nausea hit you, your stomach twisting with disgust — at him, at yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the image of his hands around your throat fresh and terrifying, making it hard to process how he could sleep so soundly. You slipped out of bed as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake him, and hurriedly grabbed your clothes, dressing in silence.
Standing in the cramped bathroom, you splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would wash away the nightmare. The coolness gave you a quick moment of clarity, but the dread still clung to you, heavy and unshakable. You stared at yourself in the mirror — pale, tired, and haunted.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. You needed to leave, clear your head, figure out what the hell to do next. Quietly, you slipped out of the bathroom, grabbed your keys from the nightstand, and took one last glance at Rafe. He was still asleep, completely clueless about the fear swirling inside you.
The motel hallway was dark and dead silent, except for the low hum of the vending machine down the hall. You made your way to the exit, and the cool night air hit your skin like a slap of reality. It was like stepping out of one world and into another — the difference so harsh, it almost felt unreal.
You walked a few more steps, but suddenly everything started spinning. Your vision blurred, and you felt lightheaded, your legs giving out as you slumped against the wall, struggling to breathe.
The panic attack hit you full force, your chest tightening, and your mind racing. You couldn't let Rafe see you like this. You couldn't let anyone see you like this. You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to focus on something, anything, to calm yourself down. You started counting your breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale, trying to slow your racing heart. You thought of JJ, of how much he needed you to be strong.
You couldn't fall apart now.
You kept counting, kept breathing, the cool air helping to clear your head. Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The world started to come back into focus, the shadows in the hallway retreating.
You wiped away the tears that had slipped down your cheeks and stood up, feeling a little more in control.
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind. You were a dirty traitor.
The cold didn't couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this? 
You thought of JJ, of your friends, the people who had been there for you through everything. They’d never understand.
Hell, you didn’t even understand it yourself. You stopped and leaned against a lamppost, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You had to sort through this mess, had to figure out what was real and what was just the lingering effects of captivity and longing. Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain. 
An hour later, you made your way back to the motel, the guilt and self-doubt threatening to consume you entirely. You couldn't ignore the feeling that you'd betrayed everything you stood for by letting Rafe into your life, even if it was just for a moment of weakness.
As you got closer to the entrance, you spotted him at the front desk. He looked a mess — worried, disheveled, like he’d just woken up and thrown on some shorts in a rush. His face was tight with tension as he talked to the front desk guy, hands moving wildly, gesturing around like he was freaking out. 
Your pulse pounded as you walked in, not sure of what to say, what to do, how to approach him. The nightmare was still fresh.
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
The front desk guy shook his head, his expression apologetic.
"Sir, I haven't seen anyone come through here."
With a deep breath, you stepped forward, revealing yourself, "I'm here," you said quietly, voice rough from not speaking since you woke up.
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. You should feel repulsed.
His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. And then, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to think much of it. It was you or him.
You took a step back, putting some distance between you and Rafe, needing the space to breathe, to think, to figure out what came next.
Your gaze flickered to the floor, unable to meet his eyes, unable to face the consequences of your stupid actions, "Just needed some air," you muttered, “Sorry for not leaving a note.”
Rafe's expression shifted from relief to concern as he watched you, his brows furrowing.
"You okay?"
You still couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, "I'm fine," you replied, your voice lacking conviction even to your own ears. "Just felt a little nauseous.”
His hand reached out tentatively as if he wanted to comfort you, but he hesitated, letting it fall back to his side. “I just woke up and you were gone, and I...I panicked."
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you. 
“We should go back.”
"Will you... will you be okay?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
You nodded, trying to muster up a reassuring smile, but it felt hollow and insincere. "I'll be fine," you lied, the words tasted bitter on your tongue, “Just need some rest.”
“Okay. Okay, yeah, let’s go back.”
As you stepped inside the room, he watched you carefully, as if he was afraid you would’ve disappeared again at any given moment. He tried to reach out and grab your arm, but you moved too quickly, and he was left grasping air.
You offered him a weak smile, ignoring the look on his face.
"I'm sorry for leaving like that," you said, your voice tinged with genuine regret. "I’m fine.”
You didn’t think he believed you. He was watching you so closely. He took in how disheveled you looked. The mess of your hair, and barely laced-up shoes so you could get out the door faster. He was smart enough to read your bullshit, but he only took a deep breath to calm himself.
“Is this about last night?”
Your body froze instantly. What were you supposed to tell him? Lie? Tell him the truth and make him hate himself even more? Keep your pain down to hold his?
“It was a mistake.”
You went straight to the chase.
He stalked closer to you, and you took a step back reflexively, “A mistake?” he echoed between labored breaths, “A mistake?”
“Yeah," you stammered, trying to articulate your thoughts, "It's not right. We, we're just lonely."
You despised yourself for even hinting at it, but the tumultuous month spent with him had been bewildering, to say the least. You questioned whether you were truly good for each other. You couldn't be.
"I thought..." he began, his voice trailing off. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your skin, a consequence of your actions. But you needed to put yourself first.
“I’m sorry.”
Rafe's face contorted, his features tightening into a mask of disbelief. And you couldn’t blame him for whatever he was about to unleash on you. You probably deserved it.
“So, what? You're just gonna walk away?" He tried to bark, but his voice quivered from grief, “Stop looking at me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He scoffed, lips twisting into a sneer, as he started to pace around the room, his movements restless and agitated. “That’s funny.”
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in his voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, “Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?”
His words struck you like a physical blow, a slap to the face. You recoiled instinctively, even though you knew he didn't mean it.
"I don't know what I mean to you," you admitted quietly as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I just know that I can't keep doing this."
Rafe's laughter was bitter and mocking, "Can't keep doing this?" he repeated, his voice laced with derision. "And what, exactly, is 'this'? Fucking? You can’t even say it.”
“You’re being an asshole.”
"An asshole?" he spat, "Is that what you think of me?"
You held his gaze, refusing to back down despite the hurting coursing through your veins. "You're acting like one.”
“Maybank,” His voice was still harsh as he lowered his head to try and meet your eyes. He was close enough that you were able to smell him, "You don't know anything about me, remember? Maybe the fucking really did confuse you.”
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
His eyes shut tightly, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s wrong! Rafe—don’t you see it? I can’t do this, not with you of all fucking people, okay?”
He looked down at the carpet, a look of shame falling over his features as he ran a hand over his face, “You knew who I was since the beginning.”
You felt so much frustration rising within you, "Yeah, and every time I look at you now, I see everything that's wrong with me."
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, "I wanted you."
You wanted to reach out to him, hug him as you had just hours ago, but you knew you couldn’t.
“We can’t.”
His eyes were slightly dewy, a somewhat defeated look to his gaze as he walked towards the door.
“Well, congrats Maybank. You won.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the room, the finality of it hitting you like a punch to the gut. You stood there, motionless, as the silence enveloped you. Why did it feel like this was going to crush you?
You sank to the floor, your back against the wall, and the tears came in a torrent, for the second time that morning. Sobs wracked your body, each one more painful than the last, as the reality of your situation became clear as day. You had pushed him away, and hurt him, but what other choice did you have? 
The quiet without him was almost eerie. You weren't used to being alone anymore. You couldn't deny that you had felt something for Rafe, something more than just anger and resentment.
But it was twisted, born out of shared trauma and desperation, wasn’t it? It had to be. It was the only explanation that made sense.
Wiping your tear-streaked face with trembling hands, you tried to gather yourself. You still needed to get home. In five days. How the fuck were you going to live in the same room with Rafe for five days after what went down?
You sat on the motel room floor for what felt like hours, the silence driving you up the walls. Eventually, exhaustion won out, and you crawled into bed, your mind too restless to allow for more than fitful dozing.
It was around 4 a.m. when the door to the motel room creaked open, startling you awake. You sat up, your heart pounding, straining to see in the dark. The figure that stumbled through the door was unmistakable: Rafe. His movements were unsteady, his clothes disheveled, and the sharp scent of alcohol hit you even from across the room.
“Rafe?”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned heavily against the doorframe, his eyes unfocused. He looked lost.
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look. You had done that to him.
You got out of bed, approaching him cautiously, “What are you doing?”
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot, “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
You sighed, “Rafe, you’re drunk. You need to sit down.”
He let you guide him to the bed, his body heavy and uncooperative. Once he was seated, you grabbed a bottle of water from the small table and handed it to him.
“Drink this,” you instructed.
He took a sip, his hands shaking slightly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, staring down at the floor. “For everything.”
It was the first time he ever apologized to you.
You didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, but another part of you was still reeling from earlier.
“You need to sleep this off."
He nodded but didn’t move.
Instead, he reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “I don’t want to be like him,” he confessed, “I can't."
If you allowed him to keep sputtering out his drunken thoughts you would’ve ended up crying your eyes out again, so instead you squeezed his hand, “Let’s just sleep, okay?”
He nodded again, his eyes drifting shut as the exhaustion and alcohol finally took their toll. You helped him lie down, covering him with the sheets. As you laid back down, you watched Rafe’s breathing even out, his face softening in sleep. 
That night? It never happened. It felt like everything was happening all over again.
Rafe didn’t spare you a glance from the moment he woke up, choosing to care for his hangover by himself. You and he moved around each other like ghosts, the motel room becoming a prison. You barely slept, the nightmares coming back, leaving you exhausted and on edge.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw your father, Rafe, or the hauntings of your past, blending into a tiring cycle of fear. You knew he’d been having nightmares as well, but you pretended to be asleep every time he woke up, chest heaving. He never asked for you help.
He seemed so caught in his torment. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, the way his hands would flex into fists and then relax as if he was battling some inner demon. He avoided you, constantly, and when he did speak, his words were clipped and distant.
Your shared meals were silent, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the oppressive quiet. Even the TV stayed off.
On the fifth night, you lay awake in the dark, listening to the rhythm of Rafe's breathing from the other bed. It was uneven, indicating he was also awake. Maybe you should've kept quiet, but his druken monologue was still very much killing you inside.
“You’re not gonna end up like him.”
Rafe's breathing hitched, and you could almost feel his eyes on you through the darkness.
"I mean it," you continued, turning slightly to face his silhouette. "You're not your father."
He didn't respond immediately, but you sensed a subtle change in his posture. Finally, he sighed, "How can you be so sure?" he murmured.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Because I've seen you. I've seen the parts of you that fight against becoming him. The parts that want to be better. And that matters."
He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure it’s enough.”
“It is.”
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
You wanted to reach out, to reassure him that he wasn’t alone, but you knew it wasn’t that simple. 
“I’m still here,” you said softly, “I’m not leaving.”
“You already did.”
Ouch.
Before you could utter a single word, he turned his back to you.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. Sleep.”
“Rafe—”
“Goodnight.”
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. That didn't matter anymore to him.
The next morning, you didn’t bother much with packing, only shoving the pieces of clothing you’d collected in a backpack. It felt torturous, to be so close to Rafe yet so far away. He didn’t speak a word as he packed his things, his movements stiff and mechanical. You wanted to break the silence, but every time you opened your mouth, the words seemed to stick in your throat.
The taxi drive to the port was just as unbearable. You stared out the window, watching the landscape blur past, your mind racing with thoughts of what could have been, what should have been. 
Once you arrived, you and Rafe stepped out, the silence between you as impenetrable as ever. It was over. He took the lead, heading towards the ticket booth with his shoulders hunched, and you followed.
You were still scared shitless of those men. They were only helping you because at some point Rafe had helped them smuggle drugs into the States, and that did not leave you the least bit reassured over their intentions. 
Finding a spot on the deck, you both settled into a tense silence, the hum of the boat’s engine and the cries of seagulls filling the void between you. The beauty of the scene did little to ease the anxiety tightening in your chest.
He leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on the horizon, his face still void of any emotion.
You watched him for a moment, torn between wanting to reach out to him and the fear that doing so would only make things worse.
Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, you cleared your throat.
“Rafe,” you began hesitantly, “I—”
Before you could finish, he turned to you, his expression weary. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he said, his voice flat. “Not now.”
Not ever, that's what he meant.
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Okay.”
“Just stay low, stay quiet. My dad got eyes everywhere.”
From the corner of your eye you spotted one of the men. Tall, burly, with a scar running down his cheek. He simply nodded towards the cargo boat and for a minute you’re taken back to your first day stuck with the Cameron’s, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Rafe walked in front of you again, entering the ship, rounding his way through the halls behind the sketchy guy, only stopping when he knocked on a door, after a moment, it swung open to reveal a bald shot man, eyes way too big for his face, which flicked over you and Rafe, a predatory smile curling his lips.
“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” he drawled, his voice laced with mockery. “You’re late.”
“Had some complications,” Rafe replied curtly, his posture tense.
You didn't like it one bit.
“Complications, huh? Well, come on in”
You followed Rafe inside, heart racing. The interior of the room was pretty dark, the air thick with the smell of smoke and something you couldn’t quite identify. Nor did you want to. 
“Rafe,” the older man announced, his voice cold and commanding. “I was starting to think you’d forgotten about our arrangement.”
“Never,” Rafe replied, his tone clipped. “I brought the money.”
He handed over a thick envelope, and the man behind the desk took it, flipping through the bills with a practiced eye. After a moment, he nodded, satisfied.
“Good,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Now, let’s discuss the other part of our deal.”
Rafe stiffened. “I told you, I’m out. I’m not running anything for you anymore.”
The man’s eyes narrowed, his smile turning dangerous. “I don’t think you understand. You don’t get to just walk away.”
You felt a chill run down your spine. This wasn't the plan. Right? The man behind the desk stood up, his gaze shifting to you.
“And who’s this?” he asked, his tone menacing.
“No one,” Rafe said quickly. “She has nothing to do with this.”
The man chuckled, a low, sinister sound. “Oh, I think she has everything to do with this.”
He took a step towards you, and instinctively, you backed away, Rafe moving to place himself between you and the older man, “Leave her out of this.”
“You see, your daddy dearest called in last night. Told me about a loose piece he had to get rid off…a pretty one. Guess this is her?”
"That's none of your business," Rafe growled, his voice filled with a warning, body still shielding yours.
The older man laughed, the sound grating against your nerves.
"Oh, but it is my business, Rafe. You see, your daddy and I, we go way back. And when he asks for a favor, I don't say no."
You knew this had to be a trap.
"Rafe, we need to go," you whispered urgently, tugging on his arm.
He didn't move, his eyes locked on the man before him. "We're leaving."
The man smirked, his gaze shifting between you and Rafe. "You think you can just walk out of here? You're in deep, Cameron. And now, so is she."
Rafe's jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists. "We're not doing this.”
The older man took a step closer, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent. 
"You have two choices, Rafe. You either do as I say, or she pays the price like Ward asked.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear coursing through your veins. You couldn't let Rafe get pulled back into this world, but you couldn't think about what might happen to both of you if you stayed.
"Rafe, please," you pleaded, your voice trembling at that point.
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. Oh hell no. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve.
“Run.”
Before you could protest, Rafe launched himself at the older man, tackling him to the ground. The suddenness of the movement caught everyone off guard, but you knew you had to act quickly.
Heart pounding, you turned and bolted out of the room, dropping your backpack in the process, your footsteps echoing down the dimly lit corridor.
Behind you, you could hear the sounds of struggle—grunts, crashes, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor. You didn’t dare look back, knowing that every second counted. Rafe had told you to run.
The ship's layout was confusing, with identical-looking hallways and doors leading to who-knew-where. You sprinted through the maze of metal and dim lights, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The distant sound of shouting and commotion indicated that the fight wasn't over. You turned a corner and collided with one of the burly men from earlier.
He grabbed your arm like you were some kind of animal, “Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.
You stomped on his foot and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, wrenching your arm free as he grunted in pain. Without wasting a second, you continued running, your legs burning.
You burst onto the deck, the cold, salty air hitting you like a slap. The early morning light was just beginning to brighten the horizon, casting long shadows across the deck. You looked around frantically, searching for any means of escape. Your eyes landed on a lifeboat secured to the side of the ship. Without hesitation, you made your way towards it, fumbling with the ropes that held it in place. Your fingers were shaking, but you managed to free the boat. As you were about to lower it into the water, a rough hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. It was the man with the scar, his face twisted in anger.
“Going somewhere?” he sneered.
You tried to fight him off, but he was too strong.
Just when you thought all hope was lost, a loud bang echoed across the deck. The man with the scar froze, his grip loosening. You took the opportunity to break free, scrambling away from him.
Rafe stood at the entrance to the deck, a gun in his hand and determination in his eyes. The man with the scar raised his hands slowly, backing away.
“You okay?” Rafe asked.
“I think so.”
“Come here.”
Without thinking, you ran to him, your heart pounding with relief. He was okay. You were okay.
His arms wrapped around your lower back tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching your face to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you.
It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist. 
Until reality broke you again.
Rafe's body tensed suddenly. You heard a muffled sound, like a distant pop, but it took a moment for your mind to register what had happened. His grip on you loosened, and he staggered, his breath hitching in pain. No, no, no, no.
"Rafe?” You caught him as he fell to his knees, eyes darting around, searching for the source of the shot. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head as you watched a showdown between the so-called human traffickers and the fucking police. This had to be a fucking nightmare, no way, were you getting caught in a crossfire. 
Rafe clutched his side, blood seeping through his fingers, staining his white shirt. His face was scarily pale, and he struggled to stay upright.
"You need to...get out of here," he managed to say, his voice strained, “Right now.”
“I’m not leaving you, you fuckin—Shit, Rafe. Fuck!” You looked around frantically, your heart pounding in your chest. "Can you walk?" you asked, trying to keep the panic from your voice, you didn't want to scare him.
“Does it look like I can walk, pretty Maybank?”
A sob broke through you, “Don’t try to be fucking funny, you got shot!”
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
"Stop talking!" you repeated, your voice trembling with desperation.
You looked around again, trying to find a way out, a way to save him, anything. But the chaos around you was too much. The police and the traffickers were in a fierce shootout, bullets whizzing through the air, ricocheting off metal, and splintering wood. There was nowhere to run.
Rafe's hand tightened weakly around yours.
"Listen to me," he said, his voice just a whisper. "You have to...Go gome."
Tears streamed down your face as you shook your head. "I can't leave you here."
You knew you had to move, had to find help, but leaving him there felt like tearing your heart out. As you turned to peek around one final time, you heard a shout from behind you.
"Freeze!" a police officer yelled, his gun trained on you.
You stopped, your hands raised, your mind racing. "Please, help him," you begged, pointing to Rafe. "He's been shot."
The officer's eyes flicked to Rafe, then back to you. "We need to secure the area first," he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
"Please," you repeated, your voice breaking. "He's dying."
The officer hesitated, then spoke into his radio. "Officer down, need medical assistance immediately."
Another officer approached, his gun drawn, and you saw his gaze soften as he took in Rafe's condition. "We'll get him help," he assured you, "but we need to get you out of here safely."
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking. 
His eyes fluttered open briefly, a weak smile touching his lips, "Go."
Before you could tell him off, you felt hands grip your shoulders, pulling you back. "We need to get you to safety," one of the officers said firmly, trying to drag you away from Rafe.
"No! Let me go! I can't leave him!" you screamed, fighting against their hold.
"Ma'am, we need to get you out of the line of fire," the officer insisted, his grip tightening as he pulled you to your feet.
Through your tears, you saw more officers surrounding Rafe, their voices urgent as they called for medical assistance. You watched helplessly as they began to administer first aid, their movements efficient and hurried.
As the officers dragged you away against your will, your eyes never left Rafe. "Please, don't let him die," you sobbed, your voice breaking with despair.
"We're doing everything we can," one of the officers reassured you, guiding you towards the edge of the deck where a police boat was waiting.
You stumbled, your legs weak with fear and exhaustion, but the officers held you steady. As you were helped onto the police boat, you turned back one last time, your heart breaking at the sight of Rafe lying on the deck, surrounded by officers and paramedics. You clutched the railing, your knuckles white, as the boat pulled away from the ship, the distance between you and Rafe growing with each passing second.
The journey back to shore was nothing but a blur of sirens, flashing lights, and the distant sound of helicopter blades cutting through the air. The police officers tried to reassure you, but you wouldn't rest until you saw him again. Alive.
When the boat finally docked, paramedics rushed forward, checking you for injuries, while police officers asked you questions about what had happened. You answered them mechanically, your mind still focused on Rafe, praying that he would survive. Hours seemed to pass in a haze of questions, medical checks, and statements. You told them everything. Finally, you were allowed to sit down and a police officer approached you.
"Rafe Cameron is being taken to the hospital," he said gently. "He's in critical condition, but the paramedics are doing everything they can."
You nodded numbly, "Can I see him?"
“’No visitors will be allowed, kid. We checked your backgrounds. If he survives, he’ll be taken into custody, his father is Ward Cameron, the feds are going to need him.”
You nearly threw up at how easily he said, “if he survives”. There couldn’t be no fucking ifs, he wasn’t dying. Not like this. Not after everything. 
Your knees buckled, and you had to sit down again. The officer helped you to a bench, his face sympathetic, “I understand this is hard, but we need to follow protocol. He’s a key witness and suspect in multiple ongoing investigations.”
You nodded. The world felt distant, and surreal. “Can I at least know which hospital?”
The officer hesitated for a moment, then relented. “St. Michael’s. But you won’t be allowed to call until we clear things with the authorities.”
“Call? I want to visit.”
He sighed, taking a seat next to you, “Kid. I’m really sorry, but you won’t be here. You’re a kidnapping victim and there’s a direct order to take you back home, you’ve been reported missing for over a month now.”
Your mind reeled, struggling to process the officer's words.
Missing? For over a month? It felt like a lifetime and no time at all had passed since you'd been caught up in this nightmare.
"I can't leave him. Not like this."
The officer's expression softened. "I understand, but this is out of my hands. We need to get you back to your family. They'll be worried sick."
What family?
You wanted to shout in his face. JJ was still missing for all you knew and Luke hadn't stepped foot home in months. You felt so helpless.
“I can't just leave him."
"We're going to get you home safely. You'll be able to follow up on Rafe's condition, but right now, you need to come with us."
The officer stood up, motioning for you to follow. Reluctantly, you got to your feet, without another option, every step feeling like a betrayal to Rafe.
As you were led out of the station and into a waiting car, you could only imagine him lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
650 notes · View notes
really-fanny-longbottom · 5 months ago
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a song of darkness & ice
summary: azriel finally found the one for him but some things never go as planned. the good news? happy endings are real.
warnings: fluff, mentions of death/grieving
pairings: Azriel x Reader
words: 3.5k
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"azriel."
azriel was doing it again. 
he was looking at you once again like he had for the past two years.
but it wasn't his fault.
"azriel."
how could it be his fault?
how could he not look at you when you were the most beautiful female his hazel eyes had ever seen? 
"azriel."
how could he not look at you when every time you smiled at him or laughed at something he said his heart erupted? 
how could he not look at you when you were his first thought when he woke up and his last before falling asleep? 
"azriel!"
"huh?" azriel asked with his eyes still focused on you.
rhys and cassian couldn't contain the chuckles that escaped them.
what they were seeing was a rare sight. they had never seen their brother act this way.
not once.
rhys and cassian were well aware of how hard azriel could be on himself, how undeserving he felt he was of genuine love and true happiness.
even though the two of them had assured azriel multiple times that he was more than worthy — that his past didn't define him — he still had some trouble believing it. 
since they were children, azriel has always been the quiet, reserved, and introverted one.
with the exception of his relationships with the inner circle and now with the archeron sisters, all his other relationships had been only in passing — mainly with females.
cassian and rhys knew how much azriel wanted to find his mate, especially now that both his brothers had theirs.
but his interest in females never lasted. It never went beyond the interest of a casual night. there was never anyone who made him wish for something more.
until now.
until you show up. 
you turned azriel's world upside down along with his perspective on life.
before, the simple and basic things in life didn't impress him — for him they were nothing more than futile things. 
but now. . .since you came into his life, azriel has found himself appreciating those same things that he thought had no value or importance not so long ago.
it's as if you were the missing piece in his puzzle.
and now that he found you, his life had more color, more life and more meaning.
he couldn't be more grateful that the Mother guided him to meet you. the only thing he was sorry for was that it had taken so long.
"azriel." cassian said, placing a hand on the male's arm.
finally, azriel removed his hazel eyes from you and met his brother's "what?"
azriel saw that both of his brothers were looking at him with big smiles on their faces and with looks that he knew all too well. "what is it?" 
"i'm afraid you're in love, brother." rhys told him as he took a sip of his whiskey.
"what? what the hell are you talking about?" he questioned with his eyebrows furrowed.  
"oh please, don't act like you don't know, az. you spent the whole night looking at y/n." cassian said with amusement in his voice.
"i don't know what you're talking about, cass" azriel ignored his brothers' laughter and got up from the sofa to approach the table to refill his glass.
as he drank from his glass, he felt the alcohol burning his throat as his eyes searched the room for you again. 
but truth to be told, his eyes didn't even have to scan the room to find you. 
you had changed seats since the last time he looked at you, now, you were at the foot of the appetizer table while talking to your brother.
he finally had the perfect view of your dress and as always you looked beautiful.
just like the first time he saw you.
the day he met you was without a doubt in second place of his favorite days — he was saving the first place for the day he would gain the courage to ask you for a date and you would say yes. 
azriel met you during a meeting — a meeting he didn't even want to go to but changed his mind at the last minute. thanks to the mother for that. 
rhys, along with cassian and azriel, went to the winter court for a meeting with your older brother — kallias.
the night court was trying to strengthen their alliances with all the other courts after the events of under the mountain. 
the courts were still fragile and their high lords were suspicious, especially kallias and his court, but no one could judge them. after all, they were the ones who suffered the greatest loss of all.  
kallias took advantage of the meeting to give them a guided tour of his court. 
the visit began in the ice palace with the colors blue, white and gray predominating, large diamond chandeliers hung in the throne room and ballroom, snowflake-shaped faelights illuminated the rooms and sofas covered in soft fur offered comfortable seats.
then they went to the frozen garden with its frozen lake for skating and a greenhouse with its flowers preserved by the cold.
next it was time for the cold forest where they saw several foxes, wolves, reindeer and rabbits with their white fluff and people moving by sleds on the path that led to the city and finally the polar bear caves.  
the caves were a thirty-minute walk from the palace and their entrances were located on the wall of the mountain and had to climb a path to get there. 
down here, they had a large area of land for the bears to roam around with an unfrozen river on the northside that provided them with unlimited fish for food. on the far side, near the trees, there was a hut where the bears' armor was kept. 
azriel counted more than twenty bears that were there when he and his brothers arrived, not counting those that were still inside the caves. 
his favorite part was the cubs playing with each other and the ones trying to catch fish in the river. 
he also saw some people — no doubt soldiers by their uniforms — training bears who had their copper armor on. 
kallias was in the middle of explaining the bears' armor, saying that those who wore copper were because they had just begun their training when a loud and powerful roar sounded through the air which made the trees vibrate and the ground shake. 
silence fell around the place and after a few seconds, azriel heard a guard shout "it's the princess!"
guards began to run towards the gate that was located on the opposite side of the river to prevent intruders from entering and began to pull the levers.
in the distance, a large white figure emerged, getting closer by the second — it was a bear in silver armor and a matching helmet — and on top of the bear, was you.  
the gate was still being opened by the time you got close to it and without wanting to wait, the bear jumped through the gate making a perfect landing on the inside and scaring the guards into falling to the ground in the process. 
"always showing off" kallias murmured at the entrance that his little sister had just made. 
rhys, cassian and azriel were too busy looking at you and the bear to laugh at the high lord's words.
everybody was. all eyes were on you. the guards had stopped, the soldiers had stopped, even the three members of the night court had found it impossible not to look at you.
especially a certain shadowsinger. when he saw you and your bear, a shiver went down his back. 
this bear was incomparable to the others. it was the biggest bear they had ever seen and without a doubt it was the strongest. 
the bear's legs were about the same size as an adult male. It was amazing.
azriel noticed the insignia that was stamped on the bear's helmet. "what does that mean?" 
"that's mal. she is the leader of the bears and the insignia marks her as such." kallias replied with a smile directed at you. 
the four males had to take several steps back to allow the bear to pass and they both had to look up to see you with your own armor that matched the bear's. 
they saw you dismount from the bear and she lowered herself to allow you to reach the ground.
when you landed safely, you turned around to come face to face with your bear and when she lowered her head, you placed a kiss there followed by a "good job, mal. take a rest, i'll see you tomorrow."  
mal made a small grunt in response and nuzzled her head against you before moving forward and going to the guards to have her armor removed. 
you started walking towards the males while taking off your gloves and kallias giving orders for everyone to summarize their work. 
as soon as you got close enough, you greeted them "brother. handsome illyrian males that i never seen before." 
kallias rolled his eyes at the same time as the three males laughed "don't you mean 'hello, high lord of the night court?"
you smiled at your brother's words and held out a hand for rhys to shake, "hello, handsome high lord of the night court."  
and for the first time in prythian history, rhys blushed. cassian and azriel widened their eyes at the sight of their blushing brother, never had they witnessed such a thing.
"princess," rhys greeted after clearing his throat a little embarrassedly "this is cassian, my general,"
"princess," he shook your hand and gave you a small nod of his head with a smile.
"handsome general” your smile widened at the laugh he let out. 
"and this is azriel, my spymaster."
when you moved to stand face to face with the hazel-eyed male, his breath caught in his throat.
you were unbelievably beautiful. as if you were sculpted by the mother herself. 
you looked a lot like kallias. the same hair, the same eyes and the same nose but you had something that he didn't have — gracefulness.
the moment your eyes met each other, they locked and neither you nor the male in front of you dared to look away.
"what's going on?" kallias asked in a whisper, not liking the way you two looked at each other. 
upon realizing what exactly was happening, rhys placed a hand on kallias' shoulder and the two males walked away with cassian right behind them with a smile on his face. 
you could hear rhys in the distance asking more about bear armor to keep your brother busy. 
without ever breaking eye contact, azriel took your hand and said to you "my princess," before giving you a kiss on it.
"pretty azriel," you replied back with your eyes still locked on the male's.
azriel blushed so much that he could feel his cheeks warm. 
you cleared your throat and assumed a relaxed expression again and with an ironic smile you asked the blushing male "so you are the famous shadowsinger," with a nod from him, you continued "do you sing?" 
"what?" he felt taken by surprise. never in the five hundred years of his life had anyone asked him such a thing.
"you are a shadowsinger. do you sing to your shadows?" 
azriel didn't know what to say.
"for example, if you want them to bring you something, you sing a melody, but if you want them to attack someone, you sing a melody. . . more aggressive?" 
there was a minute of silence, two and then. . . azriel's laughter filled the air around you.
azriel still remembers how much he laughed that day. no one had ever made him laugh like that. he laughed until his stomach hurt and some tears escaped his eyes. 
that's how it all started.
he could hardly believe that two years had passed since that day.
one of the happiest he's ever had.
what Azriel didn't know was that at the sound of his laughter, rhys and cassian exchanged looks, knowing exactly that you were the one for him. 
after asking him those questions, you invited him to drink iced tea, which, to azriel's surprise, he really liked. 
azriel visited you a few times after that until you were the one visiting the night court when your brother finally relented.
when you found out that cassian was training the valkyries, you joined the group.
the day after you joined training, the spymaster volunteered to help train the valkyries. coincidence? of course not. 
you stayed at the house of the wind, giving you and azriel the opportunity to build a beautiful friendship. 
a friendship that azriel always wished would become something more. 
you flirted with each other, you went out just the two of you, you always sat next to each other and you were the first pair to dance at last year's starfall. 
there was just one problem.
a few nights ago, after a night of games, you and azriel remained in the living room while the others retired to sleep.
the conversation flowed while you drank wine and laughed, but it was then that azriel decided to take the next step, whether it was the wine that gave him courage he doesn't know.  
when he approached with the intention of kissing you, you moved away.
you quickly apologized and fled to your room, leaving a very confused azriel.
since then, azriel had gone through every moment with you in his head trying to understand what had gone wrong.
did he misread the signs? could it be that there weren't even signs and he imagined them? 
he drank his whiskey in one gulp and turned to refill it, when azriel turned around again, you were no longer there.
kallias was now sitting next to viviane with one hand on her growing belly. 
when searching the entire room, azriel didn't see a single sign of you. 
it was then that he walked forward and caught your figure on the balcony enjoying the stars and the gentle night breeze. 
azriel wanted nothing more than to join you but with your behavior the last few days, he didn't want to exceed your limits. 
it was at that moment that azriel realized. if he really had crossed your boundaries that night when he tried to kiss you, then he needs to apologize. 
when his hand grabbed the handle of the door leading to the balcony, azriel noticed that it was shaking and had to take a few deep breaths to calm his pounding heart. 
without further hesitation, azriel opened the door and closed it behind him again.  
when you didn't move, not even to look back, azriel approached the balcony wall until he was next to you and as soon as he did he hid his shaking hands in his pockets.
the two of you remained silent for a moment, enjoying the view of the city that shone under the stars and the gentle breeze that traveled through your bodies.
azriel was the first to say "i wanted to apologize for the other night," at the sound of his voice, you turned to look at him and he did the same "i shouldn't have tried to kiss you. i overstepped your limits and i'm sorry." 
you remained looking at him and without giving him an answer, you turned your attention to the city again.
assuming you weren't going to talk to him, azriel turned his back and started to make his way back into the house.  
"you didn't do anything wrong." your voice intertwined with the breeze and made the hazel-eyed male stop in his tracks. 
with his back still facing you, you proceeded "i wanted to kiss you and that's what scared me" your voice was shaking and azriel noticed that, which was the reason he faced you. 
you took a deep breath and after calming your heart, you finally revealed the truth "these last few days," you took a step forward "i wasn't ignoring you and I'm sorry if it seemed like i was. i just needed time to be able to think about how to tell you."
"tell me what?" the male's voice came out just a little louder than a whisper. 
you hesitated and your heart started racing again, reaching azriel's ears, but you didn't let that stop you from continuing.
"i'm not your mate, azriel," pain and suffering appeared on your features in the face of this new revelation "and a bond will never snap between us."
"how do y-"
"because i lost my mate fifty-two years ago," tears came to your eyes but you didn't let them fall, "he died to save me."  
azriel approached you and took your hands in his, encouraging you to continue. 
"his name was malik." 
"malik?" azriel asked you, "like mal?"  
a weak smile appeared on your lips "yes. mal was my nickname for him. he was fascinated by polar bears and his dream was to one day be able to see one." 
the smile disappeared, and you moved your eyes away from azriel's before speaking again "i met him one evening when i tried to sneak out of the palace so that i wouldn't have to attend another ball. when i tried to climb down the ice wall of the palace, i ended up slipping and falling right on top of him." you laughed at the memory, azriel joined you.
"he was a soldier in training and was on patrol when i fell. a rumor spread that he had saved me from an 'accidental fall' and kallias appointed him as my personal guard as a thank you." 
"we fell in love and a few months after we started our relationship, our mating bond snapped," you began to caress your ring finger and for the first time azriel noticed a barely noticeable ring mark "after i accepted the bond, it didn't take him long to ask me to marry him."
"i'm so sorry." azriel told you while passing a hand through your hair to give you some comfort.
your face became sadder and your voice weaker and quieter "he's the reason i didn't die when amarantha's creatures invaded my court. he was the one who got me out of the palace and took me to viviane safely." 
"when we were arriving at the camp that viviane established, a large group of those creatures appeared. without thinking twice, he pushed me into viv's arms and ordered her to get me out of there." your voice cracked and you needed a few seconds to compose yourself.
"i tried to get viv to let go of me but she didn't. a few moments later i saw him fall," your eyes returned to azriel, "he didn't get up."
tears now flowed freely down your cheeks "i felt the bond disappearing and my heart splitting in two. when the creatures were gone, i went back there and buried him," you wiped away some of the tears, "he never saw a polar bear." azriel's heart ached in hearing your words. 
"after him, i never had any interest in being with anyone again. until you show up." 
Surprise flashed across azriel's eyes, he wasn't expecting to hear this. 
"what?"
"i tried so hard not to fall in love with you these last two years but failed completely." 
a smile formed on the shadowsinger's face and he moved closer to you with his hands finding their places on your cheeks. 
"what made you hold back?" he asked quietly.
"your job," seeing the shock on his face, you rested your hands on his wrists and explained, "your job is dangerous, azriel. i already lost the male i loved once and i refuse to go through another pain like that." 
azriel's heart tightened knowing that the reason you didn't like his job wasn't because of what he had to do but because of the fact that it could cost you the most important thing to you — him.  
"you won't lose me." azriel assured you.
"you don't know that." 
"you're right. I don't, but i promise," he held you a little tighter to let you know how honest he was being, "i promise that whenever i leave for a mission, i will always and i mean always do everything i can to come back to you. i promise."
you both smiled at the feeling of the tattoo being formed on azriel's forearm and on your rib. 
6ou were too involved in the moment that you weren't even curious about the shape of the tattoos that linked you for the rest of your lives.
a promise that azriel would do anything to never break it.
as concern filled your eyes, azriel caressed your cheeks with his thumbs before asking you what was bothering you. 
"what about your mate? i know how much you want one." azriel could hear your heart beating unevenly.
the smile returned to his lips and in a long time, azriel finally knew what he wanted "i don't want a mate. i don't want a mating bond. i just want you."
the rush of his heartbeat reached your ears and it comforted you to know that you weren't the only one nervous. 
"then i'm yours."
and with a kiss beneath prythian's brightest stars, your love was sealed.
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a/n: thank you for reading!
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